00:00:11:19 - 00:00:39:05 Unknown Hi, uncle. I am Catherine. Welcome to women over 70. Aging reimagined. Our award winning weekly podcast. Now, in its sixth year, visit women over 70.com to explore our offerings and join the Aging Reimagined Circle. It's our free online community where women of all ages connect, share and re-imagine aging as a time of creativity, growth, and empowerment. And we're glad you're with us today. 00:00:39:07 - 00:01:05:05 Unknown Oh thank you. That's me. Okay. Are you talking about the audience? Okay. Sorry. Well, we're glad for both. Yes. You're both. And, we're glad to have you with us today. Really? And in your own words, when, you are asked to describe your early life, you say this in my desperate search to find something I could be good at. 00:01:05:07 - 00:01:28:10 Unknown Well, almost flunking out of high school. I'm happy to still be here. And would love to share with you my journey through the slap bucket of horrendous mistakes I've made along the way. And how I've finally dug myself out of the self-created bottomless pit of despair. I worked so hard to bury myself in. 00:01:28:12 - 00:01:32:20 Unknown Little overly dramatic, maybe. Maybe I'll be an astute story 00:01:33:00 - 00:01:33:07 Unknown once. 00:01:33:13 - 00:01:58:19 Unknown Really. Now 78, found her footing. She felt the need to share her story and wrote and self-published her memoir, Broken Pieces. I haven't finished reading it yet, but it was in awe of how meticulously she shares every grueling detail and manages to create a life with purpose and meaning, doing what she loves. It took courage to be her. 00:01:58:21 - 00:02:26:11 Unknown And today you can read accolades about her acting and see a list of all the movies she was cast in. Along with learning about her two marriages and one son and one daughter. While she never graduated college, really acknowledges she may have had A.D.D. and dyslexia, so strong was her need to learn to dance and to act that she never let that stop her. 00:02:26:13 - 00:02:52:08 Unknown So really, welcome to women over 70. Thank you. Your accomplishments really are inspiring. And so let's start the conversation. By. By. Why did you have such a strong need to publish a memoir? Well, first of all, I want to thank you guys so much for having me on. This is a delight. And I'm I'm so excited about it. 00:02:52:10 - 00:03:19:22 Unknown Well, first of all, I guess I'll show you my book. Yeah. Amazing pieces. And, the subtitle is. And the Fun things You Can do with them. So, so that's the subtitle. And, Yeah, the horrendous mistakes. There were many, many. And I, I, I've always had an inkling that my life was, you know, out of the ordinary. 00:03:19:22 - 00:04:04:07 Unknown So I've always thought, someday I'm going to do this. I'm going to put it down so that somebody or maybe learn something, maybe get get some advice of what not to do. And, so, it's just it's been building up for a long time. And finally, I went to a friend's, she was doing a, it was at a bar, and, they were having a reading of prose and poems and and, she read a chapter of her memoir, and it was hilarious and visceral and just, and I thought, you know, maybe it's time to learn how to write so that it doesn't look like just a bunch of 00:04:04:07 - 00:04:26:20 Unknown whining. This happened to me, and then this happened. And do you believe this happened? You know, so I had to. I had to learn how to put it in a way that was engaging. And, and so, I went to a wonderful teacher, and, he was he was a creative teacher. He was a creative writing teacher of method writing. 00:04:26:20 - 00:04:45:19 Unknown It's called. And, I related to it because he's also an actor and award winning teacher and award winning writer. And, that's how it really spoke to me. And, and I didn't have any plan. I didn't have any. Well, I have to make this much money so I can publish it or do this and this and this. 00:04:45:21 - 00:05:22:02 Unknown I just started blah just started writing, and, when the stories just came out, you know, like waterfalls. When I learned how to finally put it in a way that that people could relate to, you know, in, in a human gut level kind of way. And, and, so that's how it all came about. It took, you know, because I was a working, actor and, and, other things to supplement the acting income. 00:05:22:04 - 00:05:49:04 Unknown And, so it took me a couple of decades to build all the chapters. And then finally I started looking into traditional publishing, which I was never a big, I've not been on Facebook or any any of those because I never wanted to. I got better things to do. So I started looking for publishers and they said, oh, you have to have all these followers. 00:05:49:04 - 00:06:17:12 Unknown And, I said, oh, boy. So I tried. I spent a long time in trying to write a query, letters and everything like that, and tried to get myself, but, I finally gave up and, and the internet said, oh, okay, you're looking for publishers. Here's some shelf publishers. So thank you, internet. And, and so I found one that I, that I just absolutely love. 00:06:17:14 - 00:06:47:22 Unknown And they've been helpful all along the way shaping and, you know, so that my arc is clear. So we, I had to delete a lot of chapters and, and, you know, parts of chapters and sentences and everything, and, and, came out with one that's pretty darn good. And you say who your which self-published are you used paper Raven Books which is really a wonderful company. 00:06:47:24 - 00:07:16:19 Unknown They're very much into they know all about the Amazon algorithms and everything that that works. And so and, and you know, I didn't have to be, I didn't have to have 50,000 followers on Facebook and things like that. And they were just help me all along the way. And they're very much a company that is for everyone, not just for give me your money and I'll do this for blah, blah, blah. 00:07:16:21 - 00:07:52:21 Unknown They're hiking the high quality workers. Morgan geese McDonald is the, is the. And she started the company back in 2013. And, can't recommend them highly enough. That's great. Great. Thank you. Good to know. Yeah. So, so you wrote this wonderful memoir and and thank you. It's very personal. And and it catches you because you had many, many different phases of your life that, that you share with us. 00:07:52:21 - 00:08:25:15 Unknown And it it's it's really wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. So, so, but you really wanted to act. That was that was what your life was all about when you were younger. You wanted to act and tell us. Tell us about that journey. Well, first of all, I, I, you know, I probably had a, you know, this was back in the early days, when they didn't know a whole lot about dyslexia or A.D.D., you know, they hadn't really figured the whole thing out. 00:08:25:15 - 00:08:54:00 Unknown And, so I was never tested for anything except dyslexia, which they said I had a little bit of. But who knows? And, and so I didn't make good grades at all. And it was a struggle to stay focused and, and, and, and make making good grades was really hard for me. So I didn't I'm in terrible grades and and I my heart goes out to anyone with my kind of brain that it doesn't. 00:08:54:00 - 00:09:23:09 Unknown It just, you know, for some reason and, and so dancing, you know, ballet. When I was young, starting in the three years old, I, you know, I took to it and I was good at it. And, and then later in my young teenage years, I, I auditioned for some plays and got great results, and people thought I did excellent. 00:09:23:09 - 00:09:54:01 Unknown So I said, okay, that's something I can do. I can't be a doctor. I can't be a therapist, I can't, you know, there's a lot of things I can't be with, with academic things. It's sort of out of my reach. What can I do creatively? Because I knew I wanted to create and, And so, I, I got very interested in acting and then got stuff happened in my family, which was a large, chaotic family. 00:09:54:01 - 00:10:23:20 Unknown And my brother was, a genius, but he had something wrong with his head, so he was probably bipolar or something. And took a lot of the stuff out on me because he lived with us until the day he died, basically. And, so my, you know, I'm sorry, what was the question? Okay. How you got to to actually get into dancing. 00:10:23:22 - 00:10:46:18 Unknown Yeah, yeah. And so then I switched and in my early teenage years, I switched to acting because I thought all that I was good at it, and I could do it, and I can memorize lines, and everything was working. So, so that's why after high school, I went to Goodman Drama School in Chicago, and, Yeah. And that's where I started making my own mistakes. 00:10:46:20 - 00:11:15:19 Unknown You know, like jazz Singer. Share any with us? I was sure, well, my I where that's where the first year I met my now ex-husband, who is not a bad guy. He's a great guy. Very talented musician. And, some things happened with my brother at home that that made me very damaged. I was, I was it was tragic. 00:11:15:19 - 00:11:55:11 Unknown And, so I made the decision to hang on to my boyfriend at the time, who was my ex-husband, and, started going down a path with a lot of pot and lady and things like that. And got very, very off my path that I had thought I was going down. And, so that led to a lot of, other rabbit holes that I went down and, and, so that was, that was a, that was a very, very strong turning point. 00:11:55:11 - 00:12:33:17 Unknown And then, at one point we went to, Northern California and lived in a commune for, a couple of years and then bought some land. And my going to much. Oh, okay. Okay. And, then we bought our own land and, you know, we had next to nothing money wise, but, we built a rock house with our own hands, hauled the rocks ourselves, and, actually built it and, lived without electricity, plumbing or telephone for eight years while we had our two children. 00:12:33:19 - 00:13:12:19 Unknown And, and then, I finally got to the point where I said, well, wait, wait a minute, where am I if I did go and, and, and I was very unhappy because my husband's very, my ex-husband was very, I think he was tormented as a as a talented musician. And I think he was, was very controlling, which is the time when we met, I think I needed that or I wanted that I, I was reaching out for anything. 00:13:12:19 - 00:13:33:17 Unknown And, but once we were live, the kids were young, and I was pumping water and boiling diapers on the stove, on the wood stove. And, I think I just got over my head. And he was he was perfectly happy living that way, and I it was just too much for me. It was too much isolation. 00:13:33:19 - 00:14:11:20 Unknown And, you know, we lived like a mile from anybody and, rained a lot in Northern California. And so I finally I did some self improvement seminars and, and, finally said, you know, this is not for me. And so we split. So that was a real turning point to, to get up the, guts, the, the frame of mind and everything to turn around that huge thing that I had that I had, you know, I had brought this on myself. 00:14:12:01 - 00:14:36:14 Unknown So I can't blame him for anything. He was just himself. I was just a weak, little puny thing that was broken and confused and, and, so I anyway, I changed my life. Children go with you. We split them for a while, and then I got custody, and it's it's it's all in my book. Okay, in case you're interested. 00:14:36:16 - 00:15:02:11 Unknown And, Yeah. And it was it was enormous for me to do that. And I certainly never wanted to hurt. Wanted to hurt my ex-husband. But it was just that the time had come when the marriage was over, and it was destructive to everybody. And it was, very toxic atmosphere in the house. And so, I saw it as my only option. 00:15:02:13 - 00:15:28:01 Unknown And I did it, and I gathered my courage and and changed my life. And, and, went through the machinations I had to, to get to a place where there were theater, where there was theaters and, and things that I could work on and create with. And my kids came with me and, and, and, Yeah. 00:15:28:01 - 00:15:54:14 Unknown So that kind of thing. How old were you when you, when you made this big turning, the turning point? I was about age 32. My ex-husband and I got married. We lived together a couple of years, first in Chicago, and, when we got together, I was 19. And, when we, we got married, which is also in the book. 00:15:54:16 - 00:16:21:07 Unknown That's a funny story. Anyway, we, we, got married when I was 21, and, and then we moved to the commune a couple of years later, and there's all the detail in there about drug busts and all kinds of interesting stuff. I think a lot of people think lots of reviews on Amazon and, good Goodreads and wow. 00:16:21:09 - 00:16:49:10 Unknown And, and so, were there other turning points in your life after that? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And there were turning points within that. I remember one thing that, because I, I was not happy in the marriage, in my first marriage, it was it was imbalanced and I was still a child. In my mind, I think it took me a while to actually mature. 00:16:49:12 - 00:17:11:14 Unknown And, so I and by the way, I'm coming up. I'm, I'm my audio book is all finished recording, and and we just have to, do some editing and things like that. So that will be out soon just for anyone who prefers audio books, which I do also. But, I'm sorry, what was the question? The other other turning points. 00:17:11:16 - 00:17:52:20 Unknown So, Yeah. Yeah. Well, kind of, when I, when I met my current has been happening and we've been married for 32 years, and, and so that was a turning point. There were many turning points after I finally. But what I was going to say is a dear friend, one when one of the friends that I used to complain to when we were living in Northern California in our rock house, I would complain about my marriage and this and that and instead of saying, oh, he shouldn't treat you like that, or she said, well, it's a good thing you're young. 00:17:52:23 - 00:18:22:22 Unknown You can either get out of it or continue on something like that. And it went downhill. And and so that was, that was kind of a turning point before the big turning point. Yeah. So it doesn't the mono there is it doesn't always help when you sympathize with someone who's in a bad situation. If they can do something about it, that's in their control. 00:18:22:24 - 00:18:52:14 Unknown So instead of sympathizing, say, how could you change this? How could you make your life the way you want it to be? Rather than saying, oh, that's too bad, there's things you can do. There's options. There's always options. Or mostly options. And so if I had any soapbox to stand on, that's what I would say. So would you like to share selection from your book? 00:18:52:16 - 00:19:13:22 Unknown Oh, sure. I thought I'd share. This is the very first chapter. I'm about eight years old, and, so I thought I'd just share a little excerpt from that. I was out of breath and sweating out the storm when I opened the church door. Then the wind hit me like a bucket of ice water and leaves were flying everywhere. 00:19:13:24 - 00:19:41:18 Unknown Burgundy, red and orange and gold. It was magical. I bet Louisville, Kentucky had the most wonderful autumns of anywhere. And the air smells like heaven on earth too. That's what mama always said. We loved fall the best. She had just picked me up from my first ballet class of the season. I never wanted him to end when he kept on dancing the whole rest of the day. 00:19:41:18 - 00:20:04:16 Unknown If that had been up to me, ballet was the one thing I did best. I loved it more than anything from the very first time mama took me to one when I was only three years old. Last spring, when mama picked me up from class, Mrs. Wooten had a talk with her. Your daughter isn't natural, Mrs. Gibbs, she said. 00:20:04:18 - 00:20:32:00 Unknown I got to feel and funny them talking about me like I wasn't there. So I went and practiced some new steps, pretended I wasn't listening. Reedy has the perfect dancer's body, Mrs. Wooten said. She's got the grace of a true ballerina and a strong arch. And a perfect point. She simply needs to apply herself more. I heard that from my teachers at school. 00:20:32:02 - 00:21:04:07 Unknown They never made any sense to me. I thought I'd find myself just fine, whatever it meant. I hated school, just wasn't any good at it. Couldn't read fast enough. For one thing, I always felt like the class dummy. Every other kid would be finished with the assignment of the day, and there I'd sit. Not even halfway done. My biggest problem was my biggest problem was soon as I get home from school, I'd have package to deal with. 00:21:04:09 - 00:21:29:21 Unknown Peggy was my stupid older brother said mama told me he was a genius. So maybe stupid is the wrong word. All I knew was that he made everything harder for me. Packy was the firstborn of all six kids, and I was the last. I swear to goodness. His favorite thing in the world to do was devil the living daylights out of me. 00:21:29:23 - 00:21:56:03 Unknown And he was old to 17 years older than me. Mama once told me he had something wrong with his brain. She called him moody, but if he would ask me, I would have said he was just playing cuckoo. No, you. Thank you for that. Yes. Welcome. Yes. So you from here? Go ahead. I was just going to ask. 00:21:56:03 - 00:22:17:23 Unknown I'm curious about, the, the acting that you've done. What what what are some of the the roles you've had? The what what what brings you the greatest joy in your acting? Well, I did, I did some Shakespeare plays in Louisville at Shakespeare in the Park. I did play Juliet, and I played, Titania in midsummer. 00:22:17:23 - 00:22:43:10 Unknown And, those were delightful. The. I just loved them all the Shakespeare stuff I did. And, I was with Actors Theater in Louisville and did Whose Line is Whose Life Is In Anyway, which was a long time ago. And, and, I did miss Alliance and Actors Theater. So I did a lot of plays at Actors Theater in Louisville. 00:22:43:12 - 00:23:06:03 Unknown Then I did a few plays in Chicago and a lot of commercials and, and, industrial films, and, a few TV shows. So I've kind of had a wide range of, acting opportunities that, I loved it all. It was fun. It was fun. And I met a lot of really wonderful people. 00:23:06:05 - 00:23:55:15 Unknown Yeah. Yeah. I interrupted you, Gayle. Sorry. It's okay. So, so, I know you're working on a new book now. Yes. And you have a collective of your own making with women from different areas. Yeah. And, yeah. Well, how that came about, well, when, I joined Paper Raven Books to self-published my book, they have, zoom meetings twice a week for all us new authors, and they give us tips and we share ideas and, and, three other of the zoom meeting members, were memoirists, like I and, and, they were older as I am and, they were women. 00:23:55:17 - 00:24:25:04 Unknown And so we got familiarized with each other and we, started, I came up with the idea we should write something together. Something meaningful, something that will be a contribution to older people and tell them it's never too late. And because it's been an amazing, so many people have got brought back into my life, and they put on book fairs for me. 00:24:25:04 - 00:24:55:19 Unknown They've they've, you know, I've just become reacquainted with all these wonderful people that through a nasty divorce years ago, I, you know, they kind of vanished from my life because nobody had a telephone. Right? And, so I moved to another area. So, so many things have happened because of my book. And it's, you know, as an older person learning a new craft or learning a new artistic endeavor is very stimulating for the brain. 00:24:55:21 - 00:25:21:17 Unknown And, and, and looking back, it was cathartic to write my, my stories and create them so that they were authentic. But I had you know, this was I'm talking about a long time ago when I was a kid. So I had to create the stories around the authentic memories. So does that answer question? And so what are the what are you doing together? 00:25:21:17 - 00:25:49:06 Unknown You and and. Oh, yes. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. So we're writing a book together about how it's never too late to, to share your life stories and how valuable they are. You know, I've had so many reviews that that say, you know, it gave me the courage. You know, your words, your stories gave me the courage to to be stronger, to go after what I want. 00:25:49:06 - 00:26:18:06 Unknown And so, you know, if anything, that's that's that's enough, you know, just to have people say that and, and, and so, yeah, it's been well worth it and cathartic and full of miracles, people coming back into my life. And, and so the three of the four of us are together now, and we're each writing our own chapters because I don't have a college degree, so I don't have a lot of higher education. 00:26:18:08 - 00:26:44:23 Unknown One of our women is a PhD, so she had a whole different route to get to where we are. And one one woman was a was a, Brenda was a, CPA, you know, dealt with numbers, very successful. And somebody asked her to go on, and, a water whitewater rafting trip. And she did changed her life. 00:26:44:23 - 00:27:03:18 Unknown So her book is wonderful. And so we all have our different stories and our different routes. Some of us planned. Well, I'm going to write a memoir. And so I've got to put this much money aside and and I've got to do this and this and this me. It's kind of like Helter Skelter. I don't know how I ended up here, but thank you. 00:27:03:19 - 00:27:24:18 Unknown The mess I did, do you have, when the when are we going to see this book? When is it going to be available to you? Do you have a date? Oh, well, we're thinking we all have our own busy lives, and we're, you know, one of us two lives over in Malaysia on a sailboat, has lived there for 24 years, homeschooled her kids. 00:27:24:18 - 00:27:51:07 Unknown And so she's led a crazy life. Wonderful life, too. And, and then, Abby lives in, Virginia, and, Brenda lives in Maine, so we all get together. So we've never actually met in person, but we're putting this book together, and, it's it's very, very interesting. The different routes that we took to get to where we are. 00:27:51:09 - 00:28:21:14 Unknown And so I'm really enjoying that. And, yeah, that's a wonderful story in and of itself. Thank you. Yeah. For sure. So. So, read your 78. Do you ever think about your own aging or what the ever going to bring? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm. I'm doing my best to stay as young as I can by, I work out every day. 00:28:21:14 - 00:28:52:08 Unknown Either I go to the gym or I swim, or I power walk. And I eat really, really well. Take a so many vitamins that are top of the line. And, so far, I'm. I'm all in one piece, and I'm. And I'm still doing great. And, you know, when the, the things come up about aging, like, suddenly my arm hurts for no apparent reason. 00:28:52:10 - 00:29:30:08 Unknown Hey, there. Right. Just give it time to behave itself, which it often does. Just goes away the next day, or I, I get a massage or, you know, some somehow deal with it. And I have a very positive outlook on life, so I think that helps. And other things in life are get more complicated, as you know, with children and grandchildren and everything, but, I just try to keep by, pick myself up by my bootstraps and keep going. 00:29:30:10 - 00:29:52:19 Unknown Yeah. Well, thanks for being, Yeah. Thank you so much. I can't wait to read your book. Oh. Thank you, thank you. Oh, I appreciate it, guys. This has been wonderful. And I'm so looking forward to, joining you with my with my three, compadres who are writing this book together. And then it'll be wonderful. It'll be so fun. 00:29:52:19 - 00:30:14:17 Unknown And, for you guys, mean a lot to me. I really appreciate you. Thank you, thank you. You're referring to our aging reimagined circle and the November program? Yes. Yeah. That's great. And so thanks to all of you for listening to women over 70. Your loyalty helps our community thrive. And we invite you to get more involved in aging. 00:30:14:17 - 00:30:43:07 Unknown Reimagined Circle. Add your voice as we challenge myths and create bold new narratives about women in aging. Visit women over 70.com to learn more. And we women over 70 are proud to be part of the Age Wise Collective, a group of women podcasters championing pro aging voices. And this week, we shine the light on Eleanor Lansberg Lewis, host of Wisdom at Work Older Women, Elder women and grandmothers are on the move. 00:30:43:09 - 00:30:54:22 Unknown She features energizing and inspiring conversations with older women activists and artists around the world. You can find her at Wisdom at Work podcast.com. Thank you,