00:00:11:14 - 00:00:44:23 Unknown Oh, and I'm Catherine and I'm Gail. And welcome to women over 70. Aging reimagined, our award winning weekly podcast. Visit women over 70.com and learn how you may become involved. Join Aging Reimagined Circle and enjoy free participation in our online monthly programs. And we thank you for listening. We'd also like to thank our sponsor, Plymouth Place in Lagrange Park, Illinois, where senior living is redefined with options and opportunities to fit individual needs and preferences. 00:00:45:03 - 00:01:16:20 Unknown We're really very excited to be talking with Joanne, Jody Wilhelm, at the age of 84. Jody, now 85, was the oldest female to become a first time feature filmmaker. And this was for her film Letters to Stephanie, based on her two story. And here's a glimpse into some of Jodi's story, which we'll hear more about. Her mother died when she was eight years old, and although Jody says her father was a good man, he was not a good mother. 00:01:16:22 - 00:01:47:08 Unknown And the siblings were seven siblings were separated and not reunited until 40 years later. Jody is 20 years of living below poverty and a loveless marriage to an alcoholic husband, where she says, the happiest of her life because of her deep love for her three children. It took Jody nine and a half years to earn her bachelor's degree, and while teaching in middle school, she earned her Master of Arts and Teaching, and she took postmasters courses to become a school guidance counselor. 00:01:47:10 - 00:02:15:11 Unknown She was also a professional model, a member of the Screen Screen Actors Guild in New York, a four day winner on Hollywood Squares, and the adult host of Romper Room. And Georges excelled at other challenges as well. She was instrumental in challenging and changing laws in South Carolina, allowing pregnant women to continue teaching and granting grandparents the right to sign the state's adoption reunion registry. 00:02:15:13 - 00:02:40:15 Unknown And John has been happily married to Warner for 46 years, and she's currently writing her memoir. She says the last item on her bucket list. So welcome Joy. These women over 70 were delighted to have you with us. And I wanna thank Sari Barden Thursday at, Ulster Magazine when I read their story in Ulster Magazine and I thought, this is a woman we have to talk to. 00:02:40:17 - 00:03:03:07 Unknown So thank you for being with us. Yeah. Thank you for inviting me in. I'm deeply honored and deeply flattered. I mean, I never thought I would be saying old age, so to speak. And is just what you ladies have done put together for us to be able to have a voice. Still have a voice is beautiful. Thank you. 00:03:03:09 - 00:03:29:06 Unknown Thank you. You know, you've described yourself as a late bloomer, and you needed time to heal physically and emotionally from some of the traumas that you've experienced in your life. And so I'm just. What what, what would you like to share with our listeners about about that. Okay. You touched on a little bit and but I can give it a little bit more detail. 00:03:29:08 - 00:04:00:16 Unknown During about a six month period in my early childhood, starting in, I was seven and eight at the end of that six month period. My baby sister was born, which was a delightful thing. And but then we moved to South Carolina from Florida, and about two months later and then after that, when I say we we were a family of nine. 00:04:00:16 - 00:04:28:02 Unknown There were seven of us, our children. And I was the middle. I had two brothers, older, two brothers, younger sister, older sister, younger. But then when my mother died in February, It separated our family because they they two my two oldest brothers went to Florida to live with the grandparent, with my grandmother and grandfather on my mother's side. 00:04:28:04 - 00:04:56:18 Unknown And they also had our baby sister. And so that left, my older sister with me, and then my two little brothers and my little brother and my little brothers were like four and five years old now with me, three and four years old. Yeah, three and four years old. And, all of that was all of that was extremely traumatic. 00:04:56:20 - 00:05:28:14 Unknown And one thing that made it difficult was we bought a house out of the country, isolated from everything but saving grace to me was going to the little country school where I was not ignored by teachers, like a lot of children are now, because their hands are so full. You know what I mean? But that that was a very, very painful time that I needed to heal. 00:05:28:16 - 00:05:54:23 Unknown And then few years later, I was raped at a time that I didn't even know I had vagina. I didn't know what a menstrual period was or anything. And and I kept all this to myself, partly because I had to go on and partly because I didn't want my daddy to hurt any more than I knew he was already hurting from my mother dying. 00:05:54:24 - 00:06:26:08 Unknown And it is in back then you just didn't talk about anything that hurt you. I mean, I was always told if I cried because somebody picked on me. Just keep it to yourself. So anyway, that didn't help at all, but, I did manage, you know, to move forward, but I did it later. Very. Secluded life. Besides being geographically separated from other people. 00:06:26:10 - 00:07:07:02 Unknown I kept to myself with what was left of my family, while they were doing whatever they were doing, I inflammatory and sit there all day, you know, and I don't think anybody ever feeling missed me. At least that's the feeling I had. But, But I've survived. And, I don't want to go into any more detail about that except to say that even though I know that, how deeply hurt I was and I couldn't say anything, I look back now, and I realized that my sister that was two years older than me was hurt a lot worse than I was. 00:07:07:04 - 00:07:09:20 Unknown And, 00:07:09:22 - 00:07:37:13 Unknown Because from the time my mother had her baby until she died, she never got out of bed because she never recovered. And she found out that she had leukemia, and she died. And my sister was like that little mama to my baby sister. And then the brothers that were older than me, the one was just 12 months older than my sister, and they were like best friends. 00:07:37:13 - 00:08:05:09 Unknown And he went to go to Florida, too. And this sad thing is that I knew something was wrong with my sister, but I didn't know what it was because she was so popular and everything. But there was just something inside her that I knew was hurting, and I didn't realize it until ten years later. She had a complete breakdown and it took her on time to recover, but she did fully and I'm sorry. 00:08:05:09 - 00:08:12:14 Unknown What prompted you to write letters to Stephanie? Tell us about, this. 00:08:12:16 - 00:08:46:02 Unknown God made me do it. He did. He actually, he created the stories based on true experiences. And he he created it. He choreographed the whole story. And he used me as an instrument to write it, and I knew that. And that's where I really feel honored to know God would trust me with this story. You know, that's my story. 00:08:46:02 - 00:09:19:05 Unknown And I'm sticking to that, to you. Can you tell us a little bit about what what the film is about? Oh. Thank you. Yes. It's, inspirational adoption film. And it was kind it told about time that my daughter had died, and I actually, found myself as a little girl. I was without a mom. And then a month now ended up without my mom. 00:09:19:05 - 00:09:40:08 Unknown Girl and then I found out my granddaughter was going to be placed for adoption. And that. And that kind of freaked me out, because back then, girls were forced to give up their babies for adoption and. 00:09:40:10 - 00:10:06:10 Unknown Wanted to be able to see her again by some miracle. And, and social services said that I could not adopt her because I was a grandparent and we did not have a right any rights to that. And they said I could put a letter in her file. But just like the birth parents could, and that was my son and a former girlfriend of his. 00:10:06:12 - 00:10:31:24 Unknown And so I was permitted to have a, you know, put a write a letter to my granddaughter when she was born and put it in her adoption file. And I felt like the only hope I had of ever seeing her again would be to put some clues in my letter to her. And I did, and I had to come up with some good clues. 00:10:32:01 - 00:11:04:12 Unknown And then I mailed the letter. One of the scenes in the movie is when I mailed the letter, because at that time I had to accept and they never see you again. But I had the have. I had hope that maybe one day I would and then were on her first birthday. Besides writing the letters, I could ad in the newspaper, sing Happy Birthday to my granddaughter who was born, you know, on this day. 00:11:04:14 - 00:11:45:01 Unknown And I want to say happy birthday to wherever you are. I love you, grandma. In a new ad in the paper of Big Heart with that message, Janet and I did that for years. The saying same message is hoping that maybe by some miracle, you know, this was another possibility. And then after about 20 years and so were that it was an adopt, the state had an adoption reunion registry, which is the, adoptive parents put a letter if they sign this adoption reunion registry. 00:11:45:03 - 00:12:09:15 Unknown And the child that is placed for adoption signs it, then this day state can put them together, which I thought was a beautiful idea. So I got in touch with our, state adoption reunion registry, which is done through social services. And I asked them, I said, you know, can I sign? And they said, oh, sure, okay. And then they started taking information. 00:12:09:15 - 00:12:45:19 Unknown They said, well, when was your baby, placed for adoption as and when will this this was not my baby is my granddaughter that was placed for adoption. I said, oh, you can sign it. It's against the law. And I wanted to have that as an option, doggone it. So I got in touch with, with my legislators and she helped me get it passed where grandparents in South Carolina can now have the right to sign the adoption reunion registry. 00:12:45:21 - 00:12:59:03 Unknown Okay, it doesn't mean that they're automatically, you know, they connect in. But if that grandchild wants to be connected in your signature on their and they'll connect you, 00:12:59:03 - 00:13:03:07 Unknown did you ever reconnect with your granddaughter because of that? 00:13:03:07 - 00:13:07:06 Unknown But I don't want to give away my story. 00:13:07:06 - 00:13:08:12 Unknown good point. 00:13:08:12 - 00:13:24:17 Unknown You also, helped change another law, which was about teachers, became pregnant, and then we're not supposed to be in the classroom when they were showing. So you were a teacher, and you, tell us about a little bit about that thought. 00:13:24:19 - 00:13:57:22 Unknown Well, before before I became a teacher, I was going to USC, University of South Carolina, and I was within a couple of courses of science courses that I needed to take to graduate. And this was I was like 32 years old and my cell and and anyway, I like one of the I was I had just taken a class in plant biology, which I love, and I asked it and the professor was a young woman and I asked, I said, look, I need another science course. 00:13:57:22 - 00:14:21:10 Unknown Are you about to and is going to be teaching another, plant biology class, you know, then then he said, you know, there's a step above what I just took because I really loved the course you were teaching. She says, well, I usually do teach one, but I can't teach a spring because I'm pregnant. She didn't look pregnant to me. 00:14:21:12 - 00:14:53:06 Unknown And I said, well, what do you mean? She said, well, it's against the law for a teacher to be pregnant and showing in South Carolina. And I thought, well, there's I don't want to insult anybody about that. The politicians announced it, but, you know, this cannot be that's the most dumb thing I ever heard. And, I got on my bandwagon and I got petitions. 00:14:53:08 - 00:15:18:14 Unknown I'm. Oh, I'm going to walk right into several of our legislators offices, and and I just told them what I thought about this. And this is the most dumb like law I've ever heard. I said, just because a woman is pregnant and showing does not mean her brain is functions. I mean, that's just stupid. And I think they agreed with me because they did change the law. 00:15:18:16 - 00:15:22:20 Unknown No. 00:15:22:22 - 00:15:51:02 Unknown You know, and you take on you have a whole history of taking on challenges. Things happen and you just step into it. You you go on Hollywood Squares, you become a model. You, you, find yourself the host of Romper Room. I mean, and how does that happen? Well, somehow I figured out right? It's not a thing. 00:15:51:04 - 00:16:19:21 Unknown Dress rehearsal. It's not. And you get one shot at it. And in my family, I truly did not ever expect to be here talking to me like I'm a senior citizen. I thought I was going to die young because my mother was 31 when she died, and my daughter was nine when she died. My grandmother was like 49 when she died, and I just figured, you know, if I made it to 49, like my grandmother, I'd be, you know, that'd be good. 00:16:19:21 - 00:16:41:06 Unknown You got to enjoy life and do what you want to do, because you got a lot of time to be dead. I think that's Mark Twain said that so and so. I've been kind of living by that. Just then, I knew I had to brace my fears because of the traumas I had when I lived, the trauma of being raped. 00:16:41:12 - 00:17:17:08 Unknown It's made me where I was a recluse. Literally. You know, afraid to leave my house, to leave my yard and, and, I still have a little bit of that in mind that not much, but, I knew that the only way I could do it is face my fears, and I and I did, and I was able to hop in my car and go all the way to my and drive would to Atlanta to try my luck at being a model I always wanted to be when I was little, looking at Sears, Roebuck, Carroll, Montgomery Ward, Carroll. 00:17:17:10 - 00:17:39:14 Unknown I want to be the ladies in those catalogs. Really. And and I didn't. And but I had a dummy in the front seat next to me where it looked like a man, and I had a toy monkey wrapped around my neck. I want people leave me alone when I'm on that highway. I, 26 and and I made it. 00:17:39:14 - 00:18:01:17 Unknown And I ended up going and driving down to Miami and going and what they call during the season from October to April. And then, you know, I could fly home now and then visit my very understanding husband because he told me, I don't like you doing it, but I know that you have to. 00:18:01:19 - 00:18:28:21 Unknown And that's all I needed to hear. Is this Werner you're talking about? Yes. Yeah. Your husband of 46 years. Yes, ma'am. So why don't you talk about having the confidence to do these things that that they were big challenges to you. But somehow you had the confidence. And so what does that mean to you? Or having had the confidence? 00:18:28:23 - 00:19:08:19 Unknown Well. To me, I had I had, I had I do have a special closeness with God. And I knew I had confidence because I knew he wanted me did make the film. Okay. When it comes to the town now, my father was a big role model by example. He was a very soft spoken, mild person. I don't think I ever heard him raise his voice, but he was also a bit, of a recluse. 00:19:08:21 - 00:19:39:09 Unknown He worked in a laboratory for the state. He was a state veterinarian, which you would think. Well, he made a lot of money. And if you work for the state of South Carolina, he don't make a lot of money, I tell you that right now. It's improved a little bit. But, anyway, he he developed a vaccine to to eradicate bowel cholera. 00:19:39:11 - 00:20:12:20 Unknown And that took years of work and testing with different kinds of birds turkeys, chickens, ducks and and he, and he developed the vaccine and he was recognized in the World Poultry Congress when, you know, for doing that because, you know, that vaccine that helped the fowl, then maybe somebody else can work, you know, expand and maybe help people in, you know, countries where that's a problem. 00:20:12:22 - 00:20:51:14 Unknown So my father was a he he I learned by his example stay focused. And that's what I did. Stay focused on what I was doing, stayed with perseverance is not a favorite word okay. So when these challenges came, you persevered and found the confidence to face them. Yes, ma'am. And sure did. Inspiring never give up and a in my mind the lies is not just to for young women but for older women. 00:20:51:16 - 00:21:20:02 Unknown Never give and I used to teach classroom guidance when I became a guidance counselor, and I used to tell the students you several things you need to do if you want to follow your dream. And that is one you get the best education you can toward whatever it is you want to pursue. Stay drug free and never give up. 00:21:20:04 - 00:21:46:20 Unknown You know, every time I walked in the classroom with children, I would ask them right away, okay, what are the three things you know that you have to remember if you want to follow your dream, and then later on I added something to that. Never let the dream snatchers snatch your dream because they're out there. There are people who will try and, 00:21:46:22 - 00:22:15:07 Unknown And you also, when you and I talked earlier, you said about don't let people snatch your dreams and know who your angels are. Yeah. Who are your angels? Who have been your angels? Oh, well, one of my biggest angels was named Lenore Livingston. She she was a role model that I had when I was growing up. She was a lady in my church that just. 00:22:15:09 - 00:22:40:15 Unknown She took me, kind of took me in her heart. She never told me she loved me, but I knew she did. But she she was a mentor and help me, you know, just she was always there for me. I knocked on her door for without ever telling her I was coming over. And she never turned me away. Thing you an angel. 00:22:40:17 - 00:23:23:03 Unknown And how have you learned to take care of of, the little Jodi inside? Oh, I did that early on. My mother used to give me perms and and do my hair and have it curly because it was always straight when I was little. And when I was just in the sixth grade, I would save up my money and from picking up empty bottles on the side of the road, I could get into $0.02 a bottle, and I could save up my money to buy whatever I wanted, and I would buy a home from that lilt or Tony, cause I would give myself permanent sink in myself. 00:23:23:03 - 00:23:54:16 Unknown Curls in as young as in when I was 11 years old, in my. Yeah. And I did it all the way through the school and early marriage. Verse ten. And, I had many a little perm or Tony perm. You know, also like good food. My mother was a good cook, and I knew that. So I taught myself how to cook good food and. 00:23:54:18 - 00:24:16:04 Unknown To me, that was it. Just helping the little jelly feel good. It was making me feel like I was important to other people that I knew how to. And I got at the first thing I did. First thing I learned to make was deviled eggs. And I just some lady at a church event, she had deviled eggs, and I asked, hey, what's in this? 00:24:16:04 - 00:24:44:06 Unknown This is good. And she told me, and I went home and I made it. Just testing out the ingredients she said was in it, too. I make deviled eggs and then it's very nice. So you, So you talked a little bit, Jody, about, why was not a dress rehearsal? You've got a lot of time to be dead, so let's live live it up. 00:24:44:06 - 00:25:29:06 Unknown But we're here, and, is there anything else you'd like to about. How do you think about your own aging? You're in your middle 80s, and you're. It's kind of surprised, I think, to be alive past 50. So how do you think about it or feel about it? I am surprised, as surprised myself. I mean, right now, I mean whenever, sometimes and somebody starts talking about in making the movie and I'm thinking, you know, that movie that is the Stephanie that one wants 20, 30, 40 some awards in film festivals and script writing contest or whatever. 00:25:29:08 - 00:25:56:16 Unknown And that, and people will start talking about it. And I'm thinking, that's a big deal, that I didn't know what I was doing. And it just by the grace of God and a husband, they didn't kill me. I did it as old as I am, and it's mind boggling my own mind. I'm so good. So where can people watch this film? 00:25:56:18 - 00:26:26:19 Unknown Where can we? Where can we sell it? It's streaming free on a lot of different channels. Yeah, the TV app Apple. Alone one was mine. Go blank. I got a card right here. Tell some of these. Not not all of them, but it's, reading TV to the Apple TV, Android, Roku, Samsung, Amazon Fire, Lgtbq, Salem. 00:26:26:19 - 00:26:55:15 Unknown Now, Fandango at home, which is what they used to do. And somebody told me recently they saw it on, YouTube. I no, no, it was supposed to, but I haven't seen it there. See, there I am. And and oh, by the way, it's gone global. That blows my mind more than anything. I mean, it's it's gone global. 00:26:55:17 - 00:27:36:18 Unknown And the plans are to have it worldwide. I mean, whole world. And, and we're off to a good start. And this is the Asian video. Who's my distributor? It's, Australia's has the, rights. These it they're, the Netherlands. And, well, Mexico. Romania. Yeah. Czech Republic. Yeah. It's it's it's out there and it will be a worldwide. 00:27:36:20 - 00:28:10:04 Unknown So exciting. No house. Fabulous. So you you told me before that you're, you're you're working on your memoir or you want to write your memoir. Yes, ma'am. Are you are you writing it now? I have started and some of the things that, you read when you read the, Oldster magazine, where I was featured in that and some of that I know a lot of that will be in my memoirs that, I will expand on it more. 00:28:10:04 - 00:28:36:21 Unknown These areas, the one area that I am itching to write about right now is when I'm was little, I had perfect attendance in the first grade, and Marjorie King and Rollins gave me a copy of The Yearling. It had just come out and I got to meet her, but not when she gave it to me. This is after she gave it to me. 00:28:36:23 - 00:29:07:02 Unknown I told you that my father was a, veterinarian for the state in South Carolina, where when we were in Florida, he was a state veterinarian in Florida. But he was with cattle. They're not birds. And he had an assignment where he had to go out and inoculate cattle for brucellosis. And Marjorie Kane and Rollins owned some cattle, and he was going to have to go out there in the market like her cattle. 00:29:07:04 - 00:29:26:09 Unknown And he wanted to take me away thing and my older sister, because she was a big reader, too. And the thing is that that that I appreciate more than anything, we didn't even own a car. They owned a car that he had was to be able to go to the war. The state provided him with the car. 00:29:26:09 - 00:29:51:14 Unknown With the understanding your wife can ride with you sometime, but no children. And so daddy's smugglers pay us his boss's house by making us get down the floor. The back seat for was. And so he wouldn't get in any trouble. And then we could. When we got there, I got to meet her in person and and visit her. 00:29:51:14 - 00:30:13:09 Unknown Oh, she had let me take some oranges off of her orange tree and the chickens running around in their yard. And it was it was an experience I will never forget. The I can hardly wait to write about that. Will you promise to let us know in your memoirs out there when it's available? Yes, I will, you will? 00:30:13:11 - 00:30:38:11 Unknown Yes. Good. Yes, I will bring it back. That's giving the incentive to hurry up and do it. Now. That's right. Yes. I would love to. I'd be honored to, but to marvelous. Thank you. Thank you so much for being with us today, Jody. This is just incredible story. And the rich, rich life that you've created. Thank you for sure. 00:30:38:11 - 00:30:39:15 Unknown Thank you. 00:30:39:15 - 00:31:16:13 Unknown And listeners, make your voice heard as together we change the conversation about women aging and explore women over 70.com. And also join us at our Aging Reimagined Circle monthly programs and another podcast we'd like to introduce you to is by Beverly Glaser. It's called aging with Purpose and Passion and is the weekly podcast inspiring women over 50 to bold to embrace bold life shifts and unlock their potential through captivating stories from trailblazing older women. 00:31:16:15 - 00:31:19:24 Unknown Visit aging with Purpose and passion Scott.