00:00:11:14 - 00:00:30:08 Unknown Hi, I'm Gail. Hi I'm Katherine. Welcome to women over 70 agent reimagined. Our award winning weekly podcast. Visit women over 70.com and learn how you may become engaged with our community through aging reimagined circle. And we hope to see you at our next online. Thank you 00:00:30:08 - 00:00:54:18 Unknown We want to thank our sponsors. Intensive. You know, as skin agents, it becomes more fragile and bruises easily. Especially in the back of your hands or forearms. I'm loving skin tensor Bruce Cream, developed by Harvard trained dermatologist specifically for mature skin. It gently moisturizes and helps process date faster. Find it at skin intensive.com for 25% off. 00:00:54:19 - 00:01:00:16 Unknown Use the code capital W capital 070. That stands for women over 70. 00:01:00:16 - 00:01:26:19 Unknown And today we have in our studio with us Judy Smith. Judy is 70 and she has a debut, book that we're going to talk about a novel. And Judy painfully learned that her partner had lapsed yet again, and Judy knew it was time to leave for good, and she set out on her own to rediscover herself. 00:01:26:21 - 00:01:53:12 Unknown She was no stranger to challenge. In her 40s, she dealt with a debilitating form of epilepsy which changed the trajectory of her life. Now she's turned to writing and embarked on a novel that critics critics call a big hearted novel about finding fulfillment in the third act. It's original, witty and deftly crafted, with an emotionally gained engaging style. 00:01:53:14 - 00:02:23:05 Unknown The book Golden Years Glitch, published by Wyatt McKenzie, is a romantic novel comedy set in a senior community, and the friendships are fierce and love still has plenty of surprises in store. So this is the book Golden Years Glitch. Beautiful color cover. Judy I love the cover. Thank you. And so welcome to women over 70 Aging Reimagined. Thank you very much. 00:02:23:10 - 00:02:48:08 Unknown When we spoke, you said that the novel took you out of your comfort zone. So let's start there. Do you want to expand on that? It did. It would have been easiest to, continue to hide under my covers. When I found out about my partner's infidelity, which I found out when he posted a conversation with another woman on Facebook publicly. 00:02:48:13 - 00:03:13:21 Unknown He thought he was doing it privately. So I was humiliated. My family, my friends, my neighbors, my grandchildren, everyone could see it. So it wasn't. It wasn't that I was dealing with it alone. It was that everybody knew about it. I live in and over 55 communities. So when anybody found out there, then soon everybody knew. So my first instinct was I wanted to move. 00:03:13:22 - 00:03:34:16 Unknown I wanted to move as far away as I could. The last thing I wanted to do was stay and face anybody who knew what I was going through. So when I started to write, it wasn't with the intention of writing a book with the similar characters in it. It was just something that I felt like I needed to do. 00:03:34:21 - 00:03:56:16 Unknown So it took a lot for me to step out of that and say, okay, I'm going to make a novel out of this. So it wasn't what I had planned. You got carried away with your own. I did, I did, and it was very, you know, therapeutic and cathartic. And it helped me, especially when I started to make fun of things. 00:03:56:16 - 00:04:17:01 Unknown Then it helped me. Yes. I think I'm a little humor in it, a little revenge. There's a lot of humor in the book. Oh. Thank you. Yes. And and I think that's one of the reasons that you can talk about all these topics you talk about because of the humor element, which, I mean, everything is going to be right. 00:04:17:07 - 00:04:40:24 Unknown Yes. Right. For sure. But before we get into the book, let's talk a little bit about your, epilepsy and the survival of that. It sounded like you had quite a difficult period. Wasn't very difficult time. I had had a brain concussion when I was eight, and it lay dormant until I was in my 40s. And that started. 00:04:40:24 - 00:05:03:20 Unknown It came out fiercely. I had grand mal seizures, like my life stopped because the seizures came and it took a long time. It took several years to get it under control to find the right medication. When it happened, I couldn't drive for years. I had a business at the time, and I couldn't even get to my business. 00:05:03:22 - 00:05:32:11 Unknown I had to have someone take me. It was also the fear of having seizures. So I was afraid when I would go out of the house that I was going to have a seizure. I was afraid when I was in the house and I was alone. What happens then? And it took a long time for me to become okay with the fact that I might have a seizure in front of somebody that I might embarrass myself terribly by having a grand mal seizure. 00:05:32:14 - 00:06:01:20 Unknown It was a long five year journey to before they had it under control, and I still have some seizure activity. Nothing like I did before, and I'm able to drive very limited driving, and only during the day. And only within like a mile range to where I can get a few places. So there's still some issues, but I learned a lot from having epilepsy. 00:06:01:22 - 00:06:32:24 Unknown I learned to slow down my life. I learned to be okay. I learned to be stronger. It because I couldn't get to my business, I had to be dependent upon people. And in a strange way, it made me a lot stronger. It gave me a lot of, confidence. It took a while, but, I think by having by being forced to slow down, that helped me. 00:06:33:01 - 00:06:52:20 Unknown Would you? Look, people react when when you were having a seizure. That was hard because it would frighten a lot of people. Now, my children who were adults, who are obviously dogs now, but they were my daughter was in college and my son was a teenager. So they my son in particular, who was it was just him and I living in the house. 00:06:53:00 - 00:07:16:00 Unknown He had to learn what to do. And he handled it very well. Other people, you know, they were frightened by it. It's not pretty to look at somebody having a seizure. It's not, It's really uncomfortable. I mean, to be very blunt. You use, you lose your bladder control. You know, it's just it's an ugly thing that happens. 00:07:16:02 - 00:07:42:16 Unknown And it's just not comfortable. I don't have grand mal seizures anymore. Now I just have tonic seizures. They're more like a c. The staring type of seizure and some shaking, but nothing like I did before. That's all under control. Well, thank goodness for that. We're happy. Yes. Wonderful new medicine. Yes. Right. So are you on medicine all the time to control your sight. 00:07:42:18 - 00:08:04:23 Unknown Yeah. Do you, can you for our listeners who may not know too much about epilepsy, could you just explain a little a little bit about what that means when you say you have a seizure or you're, you know what, what happens. Most of the time it's not true with everybody. But most of the time I could sense that I was going to have a seizure. 00:08:04:23 - 00:08:36:19 Unknown It's just like this strange feeling that I would get. And then it would. It's usually right after that, I would have enough time to make myself in a safe place. And, then I'm not sure what happens. But I wake up exhausted. Sometimes, hopefully I don't hurt myself, but it's, it's just it's that that fear that, you don't know how bad it's going to be. 00:08:36:21 - 00:08:59:04 Unknown Or then I was creating the fear because of just being worried that I was going to have a seizure. That was almost as quickly as having the seizures. It, because I was just like I said, I was embarrassed. I didn't know what would happen. I'd be afraid if I go to the store, am I going to have a seizure if I'm if I'm out, what's going to happen? 00:08:59:04 - 00:09:25:17 Unknown And then you just kind of resolve that. If I do, then I do. You know, it's okay, right? Wow. So. So what happened to your business then? Were you able to salvage them? Yes, I was, so I started working from home a lot. And my son came into the business at that point instead of going on to college, which he helped me with the business. 00:09:25:17 - 00:09:43:03 Unknown We had a direct mail business, which we still have. So that was 40 years ago. He runs it though. But that's the part where it forced me to slow down. I couldn't work the hours I used to. I used to work ridiculous hours. So I had to. And I had to get sleep. Sleep is very important. 00:09:43:03 - 00:10:07:15 Unknown When you're epileptic. You have to get sleep. You have to be regimented that at a certain time, and you need to get sufficient sleep. And you need to take care of yourself and you need to slow down. So it forced me to do that. So in some ways it was a blessing. I know that sounds strange, but it, altered the course of my life to do it. 00:10:07:16 - 00:10:32:18 Unknown Did anyone else in your family have epilepsy? Is it. Is it hereditary? No, it. I don't know if it is or not, but in my case, I had had a brain concussion when I was eight. So they found actually this site, they found the, the dark spot. When I had my first seizure, they found that it had been from a concussion. 00:10:32:20 - 00:11:02:21 Unknown No, no, no, it's still there. And I do get tested every year. I see my neurologist often and they maintain the drugs and I'm good. Yeah. Oh that's good. We're glad to hear that. So. So where do you think your strength comes from? I, a lot of times I didn't have a choice. I had moved around, like, even as a child. 00:11:02:23 - 00:11:26:10 Unknown We moved around all the time, and I went to five different school high schools in four different states. So I had to become strong. I had to take initiative in my life. And then I had, two children divorced by the time I was 25, with very, very little child support and no education. So I didn't have a choice. 00:11:26:10 - 00:11:52:20 Unknown I had to kind of put myself out there. So I guess the strength comes from not having a choice. And then most of my adult life, I was alone. So I always had to do things. Yeah. I mean, have you did you have writing experience? But I know you said you started to write about your experience. That was prompted by the infidelity. 00:11:52:22 - 00:12:19:03 Unknown Do you have any writing background at all? Not educational wise, but I did write. I have a series of life lesson gift books that are sold in my car mart stores and Barnes and Noble, and they're they're very gifted, like to granddaughter, grandson, daughter. So, other writing experience now, I always wanted to write, but I was too busy with I didn't have the education. 00:12:19:03 - 00:12:42:17 Unknown I was too busy running the business and raising the kids. So it really wasn't an option to to do any more of that. So. So was it therapeutic in the beginning to start writing about all this? Oh yeah. And it was, it was revengeful, even though I hadn't intended to write the novel. And the novel is not it's fiction. 00:12:42:17 - 00:13:05:07 Unknown It's not everything that happened to me. But yeah, and I had and the protagonist in the book do things that I had wished I had done. Yeah. Like what? Some of the, revenge things that she took on her husband. Like she started to take some of his things. She took a little blue pill, she took his golf club. 00:13:05:13 - 00:13:31:19 Unknown She took other things of his favorite things, and she hid them. I wish I had done that. I wish I had and a little bit more creative about things. She, was she seemed to have a lot of guts. Yes. So I did. I wish I had had as much, guts and determination and strength that she did, but she she had trouble with it, too. 00:13:31:21 - 00:13:59:21 Unknown You know, she suffered and, questioned it. Questioned her own femininity, questioned, you know, everything about her own self. Like, why would he differ? Just the same in my situation. Why would you do that? You know, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't pretty enough. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't what you wanted, you know? And that not only did you do this to me, but you made sure that the whole all of my friends and family neighbors knew about it, too. 00:13:59:23 - 00:14:32:20 Unknown Yes. You move. No. I believe I'm still there. Good for you. It's great. The, The the characters in your book of. Well, first of all, Andy, your main character had so many friends. Yes. And so I assume that those friends really helped carry her through her experience. Absolutely. As they did for me. But I developed a lot of friendships after all of this happened. 00:14:32:20 - 00:15:00:10 Unknown I have some close friends, but I opened myself up after my partner's infidelity, and I all of a sudden found this wonderful group of friends that I didn't have before I became more social. I think that I was the relationship. I didn't realize it, but it had been stifling me. I was constantly trying to make things better for him, for my partner. 00:15:00:15 - 00:15:24:02 Unknown I was always on edge and I didn't realize that until he was no longer in my life, that I had spent so much energy and time trying to make him happy. So when I was on my own, I realized that that was like a big weight was lifted off of me because I could. I didn't have to try to please anybody anymore. 00:15:24:06 - 00:15:57:00 Unknown I could be genuine to myself. So there was a lot of, rediscovery. That that involved therapy for, you know. Yeah. I've had therapy in the past to help deal with the epilepsy, but no, I thought about it. But no, it did not. Not. Just dug myself into life a little bit more instead of retreating. I retreated for a while. 00:15:57:01 - 00:16:28:07 Unknown I stayed in bed with the covers over my head for probably two months. And then when I came out of it, I came out with a bit of a vengeance. Yeah. Yeah. There, there is so much humor in the book. You, you know, it feels like, well like the, the characters in your story are, constantly trying to look on the bright side of things. 00:16:28:09 - 00:17:02:20 Unknown Absolutely. Was that intentional on your part? Yes, because that's how I felt. It was I. I almost feel like the day that I turned 78, that life changed for me, and I changed. I started to no longer care what other people thought. I no longer cared. Not. I don't care what I look like, but I don't. I didn't spend as much time worrying about things like that, and I realized that this is like the best time of my life. 00:17:02:23 - 00:17:31:11 Unknown I've never been happier. I've never been filled with more joy. I have so much to be thankful for and so many blessings in my life, and there is a lot of humor to be found. As long as you can be comfortable with it. Like I said, it's just been turning 70 and I'll be 71 soon. Is has been the best year of my life, and I'm very grateful for it. 00:17:31:13 - 00:18:10:19 Unknown And in your book that your character, Andy, she seems to speak easily about topics that for others might be taboo and like sex. Yeah, that's in the book, Yeah. Which is terrific. And, and how she helps her friends become more sexual and more feminine in their approach to to their, like, their partners. And so what was what was behind writing about all of that? 00:18:10:21 - 00:18:36:15 Unknown I think they're also, well, for me, anyway, there did become an acknowledgment or sexual awareness when I realized that I still felt, even though I had been betrayed and I'm now 70 years old, I still felt this, sexual being inside. And I started to mention things to other friends just start talking generally about sex, and then you realize that they talk about it, they're receptive to it. 00:18:36:15 - 00:19:08:01 Unknown So these conversations come out, and why not? Why not make it part of our our conversations? Not all the time, but. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Did she you had the characters go to a lingerie store to, to invest in and some upgrading of their lingerie and their, their nightgowns or their, you know, what their that. Yeah. 00:19:08:03 - 00:19:29:01 Unknown And, the way you read about it is so real. Very real. I mean, it feels real to me. Thank you. And, yet the but the characters were definitely not just jumping right into this. They were they were very, shy about in the store like that. 00:19:29:01 - 00:19:33:07 Unknown And did all your characters have partners or whether some single women. 00:19:33:09 - 00:20:04:20 Unknown There was, there was, two partners, two that had partners to with friends, had partners. One was finding a new relationship. She was a recent widow and she did some online dating. And she met somebody. So the other ones did. Yeah. And what about Andy? She found someone. She did. I didn't, but she did. She did? Yeah. And so, you're so. 00:20:04:22 - 00:20:17:05 Unknown Yeah, you you're, So I wonder how in in designing the book and in going about writing it, you came up with all of these ideas? 00:20:17:07 - 00:20:40:00 Unknown I don't know, I just, you know, what happened is I maybe because I didn't have the education with writing, maybe there is nobody to say, this is how you write, this is how you do it. So I just wrote and I just kept writing, and I had I guess it was almost through. And then it was suggested to me by somebody, I'm not sure that I should get an editor. 00:20:40:02 - 00:21:04:20 Unknown So when I sent her, when I had completed, her advice was, just keep writing. Don't stop until you feel like you're done. Write whatever you want, even if you feel like it's inappropriate. Just keep writing. And then she took it and made some suggestions. She didn't make a lot of suggestions, but I made mistakes. Like I went from summer to fall to spring. 00:21:04:21 - 00:21:26:18 Unknown You know, I made some mistakes like that, or I got some of the names mixed up. But other than that, she allowed me to just. And she said it, I, I wrote, she said there was a lot of incorrect ways that I wrote the. She wanted me to leave it that way. And I wrote in the first person, and she wanted me to try to write in the third person, and I couldn't do it. 00:21:26:20 - 00:21:59:16 Unknown So she said, even though some things are incorrect, she said, just leave it that way. And the publisher said it to leave it that way as well. So and if maybe if I had the education, I wouldn't have written that way. No. Too much. So I said you would know too much is always right. I think it's it's it's amazing to be a first author, find an editor, find a have a publisher, get this book out there. 00:21:59:16 - 00:22:25:23 Unknown It's really been getting wonderful reception. So it seems like, like it was really easy, but was it easy? No. The writing was easy. The writing part was super easy. It's all the shit that I'm sorry. It's all the shit that comes afterward. It's. Finding an editor was okay, but then you have to find an agent, and that's so difficult to do. 00:22:26:00 - 00:22:48:11 Unknown You send out your queries, you wait. You have to find the right type of agent to even send a query to. And most of the time I would just get a form thing back saying, I'm not looking for three three months or I'm busy. Or like it was, it didn't seem like there was very many editors out there, but it took maybe it didn't take that long. 00:22:48:11 - 00:23:17:04 Unknown It was maybe two months. And then I actually had two offers in one in the span of like three days. So it was, wow, there's no real scene in like time, but I guess it's now. It is next. It's wonderful really, but I wanted it right away. I just thought of, you know, Gosh. Yeah. Because what were some of the things they pointed out to you that you were quoting from? 00:23:17:06 - 00:23:45:17 Unknown Well, they did ask me to taper my language a little bit, so I did that. I was okay. There was, they didn't there was the first agent from my publisher. She thought that it should be, more realistic. I don't I don't think that's the word that she used, but she wanted. But my publisher said no, just leave it alone. 00:23:45:17 - 00:24:06:04 Unknown Don't worry about it. And then her, she had, editor like, grammatical editor. And she also said just to let it go. So I if if I had to go back and do those things, I, I don't know that I would have been able to. Yeah. Or what I wanted to. So I guess I got lucky with that. 00:24:06:06 - 00:24:30:01 Unknown How long has the book been out on May 1st? So very recently. And what what are you are you, being interviewed in other venues? Are you doing readings that you're speaking to? Groups. What's going what's happening with it just started because that's the other part. I didn't know I was going to have to do this. I thought, you know, I they publish it, they take it and I can start on the next novel. 00:24:30:03 - 00:24:49:15 Unknown And, you know, I was going to have to do all the other stuff that I was going to be responsible for sending out press releases and to do podcasts. And, so I'm just I'm late in the game in doing it. So I started doing some interviews last week. I did two, I did one for my community. So that was fun. 00:24:49:15 - 00:25:10:23 Unknown There was like 70 people there. That was a lot of fun. And then now she tells me that I need to do more and I need to send articles, and I need to do that, and I'm not enjoying that. I mean, I'm going talking to you, but I'm not enjoying the other stuff. But like I said, I thought they were going to do that. 00:25:11:00 - 00:25:35:10 Unknown Yeah. So do you have another novel and in the works are that your. I do. Can you tell us about it? It's taking one of the characters. Melanie. She, her husband passes, so she is looking to reinvent her life as well. And this almost happened to me. There was up in the mountains where my a lot of my family live. 00:25:35:10 - 00:25:56:13 Unknown And my son lives up there. My daughter in law sent me a notice about an old abandoned convent that was for sale. So I actually thought about my character, but I actually thought that that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to go by an old abandoned convent and live in it. So that was very enticing to me. 00:25:56:15 - 00:26:23:22 Unknown But by the time that, my daughter in law went there, she was filming it and I was going to go right away. And that was how I was going to run my life was I was going to live there. And, it's all right away. But in my story, Melanie buys the convent and she opens up like a little, she spins out rooms for other older women, single women. 00:26:23:24 - 00:26:51:12 Unknown So they do all kinds of fun, crazy things, like new calendars. Just state they go into all kinds of ventures. And the women are different ages, but they're all over 70. And there's five of them. There's a thing because in this book the three friends are in business together and they have a, a like a consignment shop. 00:26:51:15 - 00:27:21:21 Unknown Yes. Right. And then I wanted Melanie to do something totally different. So she's the character that, experiences reinvent herself but. Well, but they expanded by presenting an old, big, big old barn. Yes. Yeah. Exactly what they've done with that. Yes. So, so you're a writer now and you are going that you have a whole you have a whole series in mind. 00:27:21:23 - 00:27:50:02 Unknown I do, I do because one of the characters from the second book, she wasn't in the first book. I have plans for her too. So and then I start thinking about other ones, which is why I'd rather write then have to do all of that type of stuff. But so I have to find a balance in case that come to the Florida Keys and get inspired by, let's oh. 00:27:50:04 - 00:28:12:10 Unknown Why are you look what we like to ask all of our, guests. Are you looking at your own aging? How are you thinking about your own aging? Well, like I had said, this is the best time of my life. The best year of my life. Sure. There's certain things, you know, like, things are bulging and, you know, different. 00:28:12:12 - 00:28:35:02 Unknown My knees don't work as well as they used to. And, I don't. I realize, like I said, I'm with my brother, and I was snorkeling and I realized that I can't do that as well as I could before, but I, I just keep saying the same thing. It's the best time of my life. I feel so blessed, so honored to be this age. 00:28:35:04 - 00:29:04:14 Unknown I have an incredible family and friends and, I just look forward to every, every minute of it. I'm excited about it. It's just going to keep getting better and better, right? Right. And you find out, like through programs like yours, that there's all this inspiration around us, women like the two of you. Like it's that I wasn't aware of who get who are aging gracefully and making an impact on things. 00:29:04:14 - 00:29:23:21 Unknown And I think that's so wonderful, and I want to be one of them. I want to be like I had told my, family, of my granddaughters, they're 21, 19 and 12, that even though the ones 21, I said, I don't want you to read the book, I don't you know, there's just parts in it that I didn't want. 00:29:24:01 - 00:29:44:16 Unknown And I knew she read she one day she said, why read a little bit of it? And she walked over and she high five and then just kept going. So I think it's good that they can see that it doesn't matter how old you are, you still can be very engaged in life and and enjoy things. Absolutely it. 00:29:44:21 - 00:30:09:18 Unknown But I think you're going to become a spokesperson, spokeswoman for probing through. Yes. And without shame and without, you know, without just yeah how to take these life events that I started out tragic and, and really propel you into something quite different. Yeah. Yeah. That's wonderful. It is wonderful. Well, Judy, thank you so much for being on this. 00:30:09:23 - 00:30:38:23 Unknown I'm you show your book again. And where can people get it? It's on Amazon. It's Barnes and Noble bookstores. It's okay. Government the Golden Years glitch by Judy Smith. Thank you. Thank you Judy. And listeners make your voice heard as together we change the conversation about women aging. Explore women over 70.com and join us at Aging Reimagined circle. 00:30:39:00 - 00:31:03:07 Unknown And we, If you like this podcast, we recommend Wendy Battles. She hosts Reinvention Rebels. It's a podcast that celebrates all women 50 to 90 plus who are rewriting the aging narrative and is aligned in the lives they want to live, just like Judy Smith. So thank you for listening.