00;00;11;17 - 00;00;34;28 Unknown Nasrin. And I'm Gayle and welcome to women over 70. Aging reimagined, our award winning weekly podcast. Visit women over 70.com to learn about how you may become involved. Join Aging Reimagined Circle and enjoy free participation in our online monthly programs. And thank you for listening 00;00;34;28 - 00;00;59;17 Unknown We want to thank our sponsors. Intensive. You know, as skin agents, it becomes more fragile and bruises easily. Especially in the back of your hands or forearms. I'm loving skin tensor Bruce Cream, developed by Harvard trained dermatologist specifically for mature skin. It gently moisturizes and helps process date faster. Find it at skin intensive.com for 25% off. 00;00;59;18 - 00;01;05;17 Unknown Use the code capital W capital 070. That stands for women over 70. 00;01;05;17 - 00;01;12;27 Unknown And today, we're delighted to be in conversation with Beverly Glazer, who is a member of our Pack Up, her podcast. 00;01;12;27 - 00;01;39;16 Unknown Her collaborators good, this podcast collaborators group, and it's just a pleasure to be able to learn more about what you actually do. Beverly. Now, Beverly is a transfer coach, a psychotherapist, a consultant with nearly 40 years of experience working with high performing women over 50 to make powerful shifts and handle the human challenges that are hidden in complex life and business decisions. 00;01;39;18 - 00;02;15;05 Unknown She's the founder of Reinvent Impossible. She's a thought leader for Cool Life magazine, a syndicated writer for AOL, MSNBC advisory board member of the Golden Connections for the Golden Life Community, LLC, and she's host of her acclaimed international podcast aging with Purpose and Passion, whose mission is to inspire older women to embrace bold challenges through captivating stories, wisdom, and advice from trailblazing women who thrive with passion in the later years of their life. 00;02;15;08 - 00;02;40;02 Unknown So welcome Beverly. We are really delighted to have you with us today. So before we get into real conversation, you've got some impressive credentials. Could you just tell us what those are? Because there's some unusual letters behind those. Oh, if they are unusual letters. And that's because, Well, I have to backtrack a little bit. I started really, as an art consultant. 00;02;40;02 - 00;03;06;10 Unknown So this was my first basis, right? I didn't include those credentials, but when I went back to school and I did that specifically because I was working in indigenous communities up in the North, and I saw all the systemic problems that went on there. And so I went back to university because I really wanted to work more and understand more. 00;03;06;10 - 00;03;30;02 Unknown And that's what I did. I went back, I was on the PhD track, and what I did was cause I love learning and kind of continuing that exactly where you are, Kathleen. And the role. But I wanted to work with the people and boots on the ground. And so I specialize in addiction. So you going to see the master's? 00;03;30;02 - 00;04;02;00 Unknown You can also see the specialization in addiction counseling. So what I did was I've also worked with people in witness protection. And I have the credentials to get people out of some real, real heavy stuff. So that's what those strange letters mean. But they're not strange to people who know what they mean. So and so, yes. So I have a lot of experience running people's minds around and getting them out of really difficult situations. 00;04;02;02 - 00;04;27;24 Unknown And so from that, I also pivoted to understand that women over 50, no matter where you are in the world, women, we suffer, we struggle and we overcome a lot. And there are a lot of hurdles that we have to overcome. Taking care of the family, taking care of all kinds of other problems that somehow are unique to us. 00;04;27;27 - 00;04;56;06 Unknown So this is where reinvention possible was born. And that's also where I work with not only women struggling with addictions. As a matter of fact, many high power women struggle with addictions and keep that pretty silent. I work with the human problems and really the strategies behind it. Not everybody needs therapy. Everybody does need help every now and again. 00;04;56;08 - 00;05;27;04 Unknown And I am that person that people reach out to. And since I've been around for 40 years, almost, it's almost like a word of mouth business. I am a person that when problems are keeping you up at night, people reach out. And although they reach out to me on many different directions, I help everybody. But I really have to ask personally for just a few minutes to see if anyone wants to go farther or not. 00;05;27;04 - 00;05;53;09 Unknown Just strategize. Get you on your way because I love helping people, and not everybody wants to go as deep as they can. But should you need help, reach out. So I don't know. I covered a lot of turf with that. But the bottom line really is, yes, I am credentialed and coaching just allows me to go out there and meet more people. 00;05;53;09 - 00;06;20;06 Unknown So I love what I do and this is what I do. But do you you're a therapist, so I assume you you sometimes are in, you know, therapy, therapeutic conversations with people. Do you also refer some people to other sources? Other resources? Okay. I am a therapist. I do not do therapy on my. I do not believe that that is where it belongs. 00;06;20;13 - 00;06;48;00 Unknown This is personal. And yes, I refer people to other sources. Online. What I really do is transformational coaching. It's not therapy. What it really is, is I help you to move forward from wherever you're stuck. Okay? So you don't have to go into deep, dark issues if there are deep, dark issues. I've closed my office since Covid. 00;06;48;02 - 00;06;50;11 Unknown This is it, girls. You're it. 00;06;50;11 - 00;06;55;14 Unknown But yes, I would research. No question, because you do need more catchy feel and stuff. Yes. 00;06;55;14 - 00;07;04;18 Unknown can you talk a bit about, you said women, especially women over 50 have faced a lot of so deep seated issues. 00;07;04;18 - 00;07;07;19 Unknown what are some that seem to be really quite prevalent 00;07;07;25 - 00;07;38;09 Unknown Taking care of family and taking care of themselves as well. And also with younger women. We're talking 50 here, taking care of their lives, their businesses, marriages falling apart. How do we support all that? Because they have the children AC to all kinds of things like that. And with older women, I have to tell you, and I'm thinking of one that just working with great now extremely powerful women and you never really know what goes on inside. 00;07;38;11 - 00;08;01;22 Unknown But here's a woman 85 who can out, can travel the world, does wonderful things in the world and feel I've wasted my lives. And those are things that no one would know. Man, that's the kind of thing that people reach out to me for. But no one will come and give me a call and say, you know, I wasted my life. 00;08;01;24 - 00;08;29;28 Unknown What can you do right now? And then you have to come little bits by little bits until you know, like and trust. And then we move things forward. Because I do believe that women have given so much and help so much, that it does come a point later in life, unless you continue to have a purpose and own it, then you can really feel that what's left for me? 00;08;29;28 - 00;08;59;09 Unknown I have grandchildren, I have, in her case, great grandchildren, and I love them dearly. But that I'm just going forward and what's next. And it sounds very depressing, but it's really not. You can't look at it like that when you're aged. You really can't know the ways that the women, you you, you coach have moved forward. You know, that they with, with purpose. 00;08;59;11 - 00;09;33;00 Unknown Oh. Do you have some examples? I'm sure you have stories after story. I love that question. Okay. Yes. Oh, I, I'm thinking of so many. I'll give you one. Yes. Here's a woman that she's in finance. She's on a very high level in finance. There's no more fun anymore. You've built, you've built and you built and you continue to build, and you're standing on stages. 00;09;33;00 - 00;09;58;19 Unknown New. Done it. You've done it a thousand times, and you do it backwards. But she doesn't want to retire, because now what's next? Right. And so what we did was we said, what do you what do you really want to do? And she was thinking and it took a while because this is what you do, right? You take care of your kids and you take care of your job, and you do the best you can on all levels. 00;09;58;21 - 00;10;25;02 Unknown And and she said, you know, I was always interested in history. And everywhere I travel, I look at art, I look at history, and I look at where I come from, which is, in her case, her roots are Ireland. And she said, I want to write a book. And she said, as it is, but that's ridiculous. I can't write a book, I was no longer etc., etc.. 00;10;25;05 - 00;10;49;07 Unknown Well, you know, I'm really going fast forward, right? But she's not only writing a book, she's learning how to get out in social media. And here's because you have to do that if you're going to be writing, she's putting herself out there, which is something. If you know anything about women in finance will not do, you know, it's all about credentials. 00;10;49;10 - 00;11;26;05 Unknown So what happens is you start saying, I have a voice and I can be heard, because women primarily have followed that yellow brick road, and we know what direction was supposed to go to when the picket fence. And sometimes that falls apart, and sometimes other marriages and other things fall apart. We have a direction. And then often, no matter how hard and how successful you are, that little voice in your head says, yeah, but. 00;11;26;07 - 00;11;53;16 Unknown And I've heard that so many times, Catherine, women who built huge businesses and said, yes, but you know, my ex still thinks I am and it's affecting my daughter and all kinds of that stuff, you know, and that's the stuff that doesn't allow you to really stand up and claim your voice loud and proud. You can do it. 00;11;53;18 - 00;12;19;02 Unknown You can follow the tools, you can hire coaches to stand on stages, but the inner feeling is I am not good enough. And when they actually own their value, it's wow, okay, because they have the tools, they know what they're doing, but the feeling of who they are, it's expressed in all areas of their life. It's wonderful. Gives me such satisfaction. 00;12;19;05 - 00;12;51;06 Unknown Wow. Yeah. Is this the nature of reinvent? Impossible. Totally. Tell speak a little bit more about that. Okay. Well the nature of it is it's for women 50 plus to break free of all those outdated roles and stereotypes and being fulfilled in their life and their business and being who they have, who they want to be, not they have to be with purpose and passion. 00;12;51;08 - 00;12;57;02 Unknown Yeah, that's exactly what it is. That all? 00;12;57;05 - 00;13;29;13 Unknown So it is the podcast is the umbrella for the podcast and for your transformational coaching. Absolutely. Okay. The podcast is aging with purpose and passion. Right. And that would be that 85 year old woman that I mentioned who lost that passion. And the podcast is really about stories. And the stories because as a therapist, I'm all about story, right? 00;13;29;16 - 00;13;56;05 Unknown And I want to know the back story. And so the women that I speak to, much like I'm sure the women that you meet are just incredible people. And the story behind them is just marvelous. And thinking of I'm thinking of a nun who now works for Microsoft. And when you think of how did you get to do that? 00;13;56;07 - 00;14;24;13 Unknown And believe me, it was not easy. But she persevered and persevered. And now she's, you know, she's she's staying on. But that was her target. And she's teaching mindfulness at Microsoft, when you think about it. Or, junkie who is now a retired judge and this is the woman that hit the streets literally, you know, wow. It's incredible. 00;14;24;13 - 00;14;55;22 Unknown The stories that we all do, women carry, or a woman who is a sexual assault survivor in the military, and she was one of the first, if not the first, because she's much older. And so they they don't do this anymore. Who stood up and all the commanders and everyone was against her, and they wanted her to quit, and she wanted an honorable discharge and they wouldn't get her. 00;14;55;25 - 00;15;28;09 Unknown And she held on and suffered and struggled. And so it's the emotional abuse as well. It's incredible the stories that we carry and we don't walk around with that saying, this is who I am. Easy as every day women just walking in the street. No, I don't play this song. So I'm of that. It's so interesting what you said about developing our voice, that we have a voice. 00;15;28;09 - 00;16;04;10 Unknown We we share a voice. It's heard and then we own it. We need to own it. We also. But what you're talking about now is about owning the inner feelings that can sort of plague us or or sabotage us or, make us feel less than, and so I find, I just find that so, so fascinating. And so your work intrigues me because you are asking women to delve into what are those backstory stories and and you, you find that women are eager to do it, willing to do it. 00;16;04;10 - 00;16;30;01 Unknown nobody wants to be vulnerable, ever. Okay. And that's when my work as a therapist comes in, because when I go, and I'm interviewing, I always do a pre-interview. So podcast. And so everyone has a great bio, but I don't want the bio on one to know that the person behind the bio. 00;16;30;03 - 00;16;51;13 Unknown And so we all start with our walls. Right. And so, you know, it's like who are you. Oh well I am this this this checking all the boxes etc. and I'm just thinking of somebody I interviewed and, and I'm this week and she and I said, who are you. And then and she says, oh I am. And she says that. 00;16;51;15 - 00;17;25;02 Unknown So on and on. And I said, no, no, no. Who are you really? What? And when I go on her story. Arthur. Yeah. Unbelievable stuff. Okay. And she said, I didn't know whether first of all, she says, I don't know how you got me to say this. Yeah. I didn't even know that she'd want to hear this. So I said, because she has, you know, this company, that company, she's in fashion and you name it, right? 00;17;25;04 - 00;17;46;03 Unknown I said, no, this is the story. This is why we want to listen. This is why we're interested in the brand. This is who you really are. And I said, if you're willing to share it. And she said, yes. And in her case, you know, she said, yes, I will, because this was a lawsuit that went on for many years. 00;17;46;03 - 00;18;13;08 Unknown And then go forth and you want to know more. And it was like, well, no, I'm going to have to go. I'm so sorry because I have another client. But yes, what she comes out, we feel so good. You really know. And I think one of the things I'm sorry. Go ahead. No, because it's not therapy. It's that we are all vulnerable. 00;18;13;11 - 00;18;32;24 Unknown We all have wisdom and we've all grown through our experiences. And that's what older women have. And that should be shared with younger people. It should be shared with other older women because we're all in this together. We have strength in our vulnerability. 00;18;32;24 - 00;19;12;18 Unknown we do pre-interview chats also, and they could be an hour long. I just had one that was three hours long and and so I got I have a story for your she has a story for you. But then when it comes time to, you know, the, the the actual interview, the recorded interview, there's often some reluctance on the part of that, even reluctance to delve too deep and then reluctance on the on the part of the, the person we're talking with, too, because I've, I've got clients or I've got, you know, I've got this public identity that I need to preserve. 00;19;12;18 - 00;19;24;24 Unknown And so it's so you you deal with that all the time. I'm sure. But how how do you. Absolutely. First of all, I don't just go right in 00;19;24;24 - 00;19;37;29 Unknown don't want to hurt anyone and everyone to look good. And because that is what it's all about, and you don't share more than you want to share that. 00;19;37;29 - 00;20;08;13 Unknown So what I do is I let me script it. I used to have a talk radio show, and it was getaways with Beverly Glaser. Beverly Glaser needed a life song for five. I it was a lot of work, and so I learned kind of how to be able to lightly script something and come to some conclusion. And so it's the podcast is only a maximum of a half hour. 00;20;08;15 - 00;20;33;25 Unknown And so we have a beginning, a middle and an end. And we don't go really deep, deep, deep because it's not an exposé on anyone. What healing is, is what challenges did you struggle with that other people also struggle with, and what did they learn from it, and what can you what tools can you give them? So you're giving hope. 00;20;33;27 - 00;21;04;24 Unknown You know, it's all about it's all about moving forward. It's not about, you know, an exposé. It's about women empowering other women. That's really all it's about through story. And it's not through advice from me. It's not through any professional lens. It's really about just who we are and how we help others just by being who we are, because other people identify with us. 00;21;04;26 - 00;21;45;20 Unknown And I think we have found, and I'm sure you have too, that more and more women are willing to share the shady sides of their lives so that they can empower others and help others. Yeah, yeah. I think if we feel we're in a safe space that we can discuss. Yeah, yeah. And we all have our intuition and, you know, when you're talking one on one, we of course, we can't forget, you know, that there are people out there. 00;21;45;20 - 00;22;10;15 Unknown I'm thinking of myself when I spoke on air. It's like, you don't know, thousands of people are listening. And then people would say, oh, I heard do it. It's almost like you did. It's, you know, but but if once they feel comfortable in that re-interview, then they're willing to share. And if I realize that's something very sensitive, I say, are you interested in talking about that? 00;22;10;18 - 00;22;34;20 Unknown You know, because I don't want anybody to be uncomfortable. And more often than not, it's once you've shared it, they say, no, no, of course, you know, but, but it really depends. Some people haven't worked through it themselves, you know. And so why would they want to share that with anyone else? Yeah. Well, so no, that shouldn't be. 00;22;34;23 - 00;23;06;26 Unknown You know, it's not a, it's not therapy. Right. Yeah. So the challenges the middle part. And then how have you moved beyond those, how you gone forward. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. So you, you include women 50 and over our, our natural 70 and over. So there's that 20 year gap that we don't have. And I'm just I'm curious about what do you hear from the younger women about their issues. 00;23;06;26 - 00;23;30;29 Unknown Yes. It's family and work and all those things they're trying to, to juggle. What kind of other myths that are holding them back? Are there? What are they dealing with in more emotionally? And so the messages, I think the messages are pretty, well, the same as we've dealt with when we were in our first. But it's probably more complex. 00;23;30;29 - 00;23;59;00 Unknown And I see that as well, because of social media women today, we have to be everything. And and that is very, very hard. And, and, and there are so many different ways of getting that every say, weight loss drugs, which are, you know, which always were there, but not everybody took them and not, it's not so simple, you know, or, or to be eating healthy. 00;23;59;00 - 00;24;35;29 Unknown And when you're eating something wrong, there's so many, so many judgments that they have upon themselves and how successful they should all be. And, you know, it's it's harder. I think looking back, only because or maybe it's just simpler now that you're older because what we're not doing now is we're more comfortable. I think we are. But in the in those years, in their early 50s, it's still it's, it's it's quite it's a fight for just about everything. 00;24;36;02 - 00;24;57;20 Unknown And and the it's not comfortable yet. You know, you want your children to be successful. Of course. Who doesn't. Right. But what it is, is it's there. The push. It's like, this is where I want you to go. And this is I'm the one responsible for that. And with the arguments with the partners and all kinds of other things like that. 00;24;57;20 - 00;25;26;28 Unknown Whereas as you grow older, there's there are different problems. And of course, in our later years, there is the problems with aging and legacy. And, you know, what do you want to leave behind? And are you ready to leave that behind? And we live to over 100 to that at. So there's also tremendous fear. And how do we embrace aging. 00;25;26;28 - 00;25;52;28 Unknown That's a tricky, tricky problem you know. And we have to embrace it. And and and so the problems change. You know at 50 you could still be and I said, those are the babies here, but you can still be pretty invincible. Can still be working for that. Mr. wonderful and her wife works or take care of that. 00;25;52;28 - 00;25;59;18 Unknown Mr.. Perhaps not so wonderful. That's big. Also, unfortunately, 00;25;59;18 - 00;26;13;24 Unknown I believe that this having to have a man, although we're supposed to be all independent, and loud and proud, it's still out there. It's it's still, you know, I don't have to have him, but 00;26;13;24 - 00;26;19;08 Unknown I want him or, like, what is wrong with me? It's still there. 00;26;19;10 - 00;26;24;02 Unknown You know, you could say what you like, but I've seen it in so many different ways. 00;26;24;02 - 00;26;48;22 Unknown So, Gayle, do you have one more question? But, Gayle, do you have you have anything at this point? Well, I'm just wondering, is, so at what age? Because you, you do treat a you do talk with a spectrum. At what age are you seeing that some of the, the facade drops off is dinner? 00;26;48;25 - 00;26;51;26 Unknown No, I mean, yeah. Exactly. Which being, 00;26;51;26 - 00;26;52;11 Unknown I 00;26;52;11 - 00;26;54;29 Unknown probably around late 50s, 60s, 00;26;54;29 - 00;27;03;21 Unknown when I'm thinking about that. Yes. And it doesn't just drop off. I think it has to be weathered off. 00;27;03;21 - 00;27;19;26 Unknown Hey, you know, it's almost like I need this any more, you know, and and I, I'm I'm thinking of myself here where, you know, you still like the energy yourself, you know, in your 60s. 00;27;19;26 - 00;27;42;23 Unknown But are you going to be. I'm thinking, are you still going to be lecturing? Are you still going to be standing on stages? Are you still going to be, I don't want to do that anymore, that kind of thing though. Well, and and it's more of choosing rather than carving another niche and another, you know, hurdle to job. 00;27;42;24 - 00;28;14;11 Unknown It's it's more like and it's not settling. I don't believe that. I believe that it's more I'm looking for something more that's more comfortable, a better fit. I'm okay with where I am. And that's what I think when I mentioning that woman, the 85 year old woman, she feels she should be comfortable. There's that should word, but she and and she looks as if she's more than comfortable. 00;28;14;13 - 00;28;23;25 Unknown But it's the appearance. And that's something that's within us. How we could be even in a marriage. And it's still a very lonely place. 00;28;23;25 - 00;28;32;09 Unknown So I would like you to talk with both us, our listeners, about what self-compassion means to you. Beautiful question. 00;28;32;09 - 00;28;49;16 Unknown I believe self-compassion is full acceptance with who you are, what you've been through, all the bumps in the road, the good, the bad, the ugly, the dirty. 00;28;49;18 - 00;29;15;26 Unknown And it's like I'm human. This is me. You may not like who I am, but this happens to be who I am. And no excuses. No excuses. This is it. I'm not perfect. And I'm okay with who I am, and. But everybody has to like me. I don't have to fit in every shoe. It's like I am okay. 00;29;15;27 - 00;29;56;24 Unknown Acceptance. Acceptance, Yeah. No excuses, no shame, no hiding, no hiding. No. Right? Yes. Well, that's why we older women need each other. Oh, and we need to share these stories, widely as possible. Yeah. Well, Beverly, thank you so much for this wonderful conversation. Thank you, Catherine and Gail. And thank you also for your wonderful group, because we need more women's groups like this, which really do we really need conversation. 00;29;56;26 - 00;30;35;02 Unknown Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. So much. And listeners, we like to see more of you at our monthly online programs, Make Your Voice Heard and together we change the conversation about women aging. This is Aging reimagined circle at women over 70.com. And we'd like to recommend another podcast with the host, Wendy Green. Boomer banter. Really talking about aging well takes you on a journey to explore how to live vibrantly and healthily, with strong relationships and purpose as we age. 00;30;35;04 - 00;30;46;14 Unknown Wendy covers topics around financial literacy, mental and physical health, relationships and purpose. And again, thank you all for listening.