1 00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,295 My name is Patrick Mcgill, and I'm an 2 00:00:11,295 --> 00:00:12,192 experienced marathon, 3 00:00:12,565 --> 00:00:16,175 Alt runner, sports nutrition, Matt Master life coach 4 00:00:16,309 --> 00:00:17,658 and weight boss coach for runners. 5 00:00:18,372 --> 00:00:20,753 I've dedicated my life to helping runners just 6 00:00:20,753 --> 00:00:23,551 like you, properly few your body and your 7 00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:26,741 mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, 8 00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:29,794 run faster and run longer than you ever 9 00:00:29,852 --> 00:00:30,910 thought possible. 10 00:00:32,006 --> 00:00:33,458 This is running lean. 11 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,971 Hey there and welcome to episode 02:37 12 00:00:38,971 --> 00:00:41,061 of running lean My name is Patrick Mc 13 00:00:41,061 --> 00:00:43,214 mcgill, the weight loss coach for runners. And 14 00:00:43,214 --> 00:00:44,432 today, what to do 15 00:00:44,809 --> 00:00:45,846 when you feel stuck. 16 00:00:46,962 --> 00:00:49,687 So many people I talked to about... Losing 17 00:00:49,687 --> 00:00:52,158 weight or running faster, tell me they just 18 00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:53,136 can't seem 19 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,381 to make any progress because they feel stuck. 20 00:00:57,193 --> 00:00:58,708 And this is a really tough place to 21 00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:01,419 be because when you feel stuck, it's like 22 00:01:01,419 --> 00:01:03,014 there's nothing you can do to get out 23 00:01:03,014 --> 00:01:05,167 of that. You feel like nothing's ever gonna 24 00:01:05,167 --> 00:01:05,486 work. 25 00:01:06,139 --> 00:01:08,693 You get discouraged? You feel defeated, And what 26 00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:10,129 do you do when you feel defeated? You 27 00:01:10,129 --> 00:01:11,485 give up, you quit. 28 00:01:12,283 --> 00:01:14,609 Why bother eating rider? You're never going to 29 00:01:14,609 --> 00:01:16,596 lose weight. Why bother doing the speed work 30 00:01:16,596 --> 00:01:18,583 or if I'm never gonna break 4 hours 31 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:19,219 in the marathon. 32 00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:22,318 But listen, there's a better way to approach 33 00:01:22,318 --> 00:01:23,768 these things. If fear So today, 34 00:01:24,488 --> 00:01:26,565 what to do when you feel stuck so 35 00:01:26,565 --> 00:01:29,442 that you can get back on track, making 36 00:01:29,442 --> 00:01:30,880 progress toward your goals. 37 00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:33,755 But first, if you wanna get leaner or 38 00:01:33,755 --> 00:01:36,137 stronger or run faster or longer, you need 39 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,123 to change what you do. Doing the same 40 00:01:38,123 --> 00:01:40,187 things will not get you new results. 41 00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,434 Nothing changes if nothing changes. Right? 42 00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:45,943 The real secret, though is doing these new 43 00:01:45,943 --> 00:01:48,496 things consistently. You know, if you decide you 44 00:01:48,496 --> 00:01:50,011 wanna get stronger, so you go to the 45 00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:50,171 gym, 46 00:01:50,823 --> 00:01:52,808 once a month. That's not gonna get you 47 00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,850 very far. You need to adopt new behaviors 48 00:01:55,906 --> 00:01:57,201 and start doing them 49 00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,196 consistently. And this is where coaching really helps. 50 00:02:00,927 --> 00:02:02,598 Trying to stay on track yourself. It can 51 00:02:02,598 --> 00:02:04,348 be difficult. I know because I've tried it 52 00:02:04,348 --> 00:02:06,099 like a million times, it never worked for 53 00:02:06,099 --> 00:02:06,179 me. 54 00:02:06,974 --> 00:02:08,342 You know, it starts some thing. I do 55 00:02:08,342 --> 00:02:09,693 it for a bit that go right back 56 00:02:09,693 --> 00:02:11,601 to doing these same old stuff, and I 57 00:02:11,601 --> 00:02:12,634 never really made any progress. 58 00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:15,337 But once I got a coach, everything changed. 59 00:02:15,576 --> 00:02:17,738 I had somebody there, guiding me, thing every 60 00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:19,573 step of the way, holding me accountable. 61 00:02:20,051 --> 00:02:22,125 Calling me out when I started slipping back 62 00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,959 in old behaviors. Most importantly, 63 00:02:24,597 --> 00:02:25,953 I had someone there that was in my 64 00:02:25,953 --> 00:02:27,125 corner that was never 65 00:02:27,483 --> 00:02:29,077 ever ever going to let me quit. 66 00:02:29,953 --> 00:02:31,467 So if you're ready to start doing some 67 00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:33,220 new things and you wanna make sure you're 68 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,690 doing them consistently, and you want somebody there 69 00:02:35,690 --> 00:02:38,016 to make sure you never quit, let's do 70 00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,170 this. So let's get this done together. We 71 00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:41,047 can do it together. 72 00:02:41,685 --> 00:02:42,643 It's hard to do it on your own, 73 00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:44,158 but we can do it together. So just 74 00:02:44,158 --> 00:02:46,072 go to my website, running lean coaching dot 75 00:02:46,072 --> 00:02:48,000 com and click on work with me, and 76 00:02:48,159 --> 00:02:49,830 I'll show you exactly how to become the 77 00:02:49,830 --> 00:02:52,218 most badass version of yourself yet. Cool. 78 00:02:53,492 --> 00:02:54,979 Okay. What to do when you feel stuck 79 00:02:55,337 --> 00:02:56,768 So the reason I wanna talk about this 80 00:02:56,768 --> 00:02:57,268 today 81 00:02:57,961 --> 00:03:00,108 is because so many people that I talk 82 00:03:00,108 --> 00:03:00,267 to. 83 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,765 They tell me that they feel stuck. 84 00:03:04,974 --> 00:03:08,827 That being stuck is why they aren't making 85 00:03:08,886 --> 00:03:10,084 progress towards their goals. 86 00:03:11,042 --> 00:03:13,197 You know, being stuck. I'm stuck. So this 87 00:03:13,197 --> 00:03:14,315 is never gonna work for me. 88 00:03:15,048 --> 00:03:17,121 Or they feel stuck. And so they don't 89 00:03:17,121 --> 00:03:21,029 even feel like starting something new, especially. Right? 90 00:03:21,188 --> 00:03:22,305 It's a huge problem. 91 00:03:23,182 --> 00:03:23,682 And 92 00:03:24,555 --> 00:03:26,875 I mean, we've all felt like this at 93 00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:29,455 some point in our lives. Right? We felt 94 00:03:29,514 --> 00:03:29,835 stuck. 95 00:03:31,034 --> 00:03:33,846 For me, a time that I remember, feeling 96 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:34,584 stuck because 97 00:03:34,958 --> 00:03:36,626 when I was trying to lose weight some 98 00:03:36,626 --> 00:03:39,405 years ago, and nothing was working for me. 99 00:03:39,564 --> 00:03:41,073 And I was running a bunch at the 100 00:03:41,073 --> 00:03:43,651 time I was training for some ultra marathons 101 00:03:44,420 --> 00:03:46,085 that year. So I was running a ton. 102 00:03:47,037 --> 00:03:49,550 And I was following, you know, some advice 103 00:03:49,749 --> 00:03:50,729 from whatever 104 00:03:51,267 --> 00:03:53,823 professionals, elite runners, whatever it was. It wasn't 105 00:03:53,823 --> 00:03:55,900 working for me. Whatever I tried didn't work. 106 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:56,594 It's 107 00:03:57,514 --> 00:03:59,034 and I was actually gaining weight in the 108 00:03:59,034 --> 00:04:01,275 process. Right? This is what it felt like 109 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,634 to feel stuck because I was gaining weight. 110 00:04:02,794 --> 00:04:04,235 I was doing all these things. They weren't 111 00:04:04,235 --> 00:04:04,555 working. 112 00:04:05,609 --> 00:04:06,406 And I felt stuck. 113 00:04:07,521 --> 00:04:09,354 So maybe you've felt stuck at some point. 114 00:04:09,513 --> 00:04:10,651 Maybe you felt stuck 115 00:04:11,027 --> 00:04:13,432 trying to run faster, you know, You're not 116 00:04:13,432 --> 00:04:15,580 making any progress. You're not getting faster. 117 00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,398 You... Let's say you wanna run a sub 118 00:04:19,398 --> 00:04:19,716 4. 119 00:04:20,288 --> 00:04:22,757 Marathon or a sub 2 half marathon or 120 00:04:22,757 --> 00:04:23,632 whatever. It doesn't matter. 121 00:04:24,508 --> 00:04:26,897 But season after season, you keep trying, you 122 00:04:26,897 --> 00:04:28,091 you sign up for races, 123 00:04:28,742 --> 00:04:30,592 you do the work, and then 124 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:31,704 you 125 00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:35,095 can't get there. Right? You just keep coming 126 00:04:35,095 --> 00:04:35,730 up short. 127 00:04:36,619 --> 00:04:38,133 You know, you train and then you show 128 00:04:38,133 --> 00:04:39,806 up for this race and you're you're, okay. 129 00:04:39,885 --> 00:04:41,081 This is gonna be the time and you're 130 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:43,789 like, a 04:04 or something like that. Right? 131 00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:45,462 It's disappointing, you know? 132 00:04:46,435 --> 00:04:48,274 So you decide that you're just stuck, and 133 00:04:48,274 --> 00:04:49,634 you're just never gonna get faster. 134 00:04:51,714 --> 00:04:53,235 You have to understand something though that, like, 135 00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,327 these things are gonna take time. Right? The 136 00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:56,625 reality is that 137 00:04:57,003 --> 00:04:58,700 things like losing weight 138 00:04:59,238 --> 00:05:00,435 or running faster. 139 00:05:00,914 --> 00:05:02,292 They do not happen 140 00:05:03,162 --> 00:05:05,413 overnight. It is a long process, 141 00:05:06,505 --> 00:05:10,587 and progress can be slow or seem slow 142 00:05:10,899 --> 00:05:12,414 So you have to commit to this process. 143 00:05:12,574 --> 00:05:15,865 You have to show up for yourself every 144 00:05:16,003 --> 00:05:17,062 single day 145 00:05:17,519 --> 00:05:20,231 and commit to the process of change. 146 00:05:20,803 --> 00:05:21,755 Every single day. 147 00:05:22,708 --> 00:05:24,375 It's like a rec commitment. Every day you 148 00:05:24,375 --> 00:05:25,407 wake up, and you have to go, okay, 149 00:05:25,645 --> 00:05:28,605 I'm committed to staying on track again 150 00:05:28,979 --> 00:05:29,217 today, 151 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,095 no matter what. And listen, it may take 152 00:05:32,095 --> 00:05:33,311 months or years 153 00:05:33,686 --> 00:05:35,039 to reach these kinds of goals. 154 00:05:36,884 --> 00:05:37,757 Are you okay with that? 155 00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:41,173 Because guess what you have to be? Because 156 00:05:41,173 --> 00:05:42,761 if you're not okay with that, you're gonna 157 00:05:42,761 --> 00:05:44,349 give up at some, you're gonna quit. 158 00:05:45,635 --> 00:05:48,098 If you're not committed to the process of 159 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:51,833 change, you will eventually feel stuck and you 160 00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:53,184 will quit, you will give in. 161 00:05:53,993 --> 00:05:56,459 And and you definitely will not reach your 162 00:05:56,459 --> 00:05:57,334 goals at that point. 163 00:05:59,164 --> 00:06:02,520 So here's what... Feeling stuck is. It's really 164 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:04,611 that. It's a feeling. Right? You're never 165 00:06:04,986 --> 00:06:05,486 actually 166 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:07,691 stuck. This is really important. 167 00:06:09,854 --> 00:06:12,430 The feeling of being stuck, it's an emotional 168 00:06:12,808 --> 00:06:13,846 state that you're in. 169 00:06:15,682 --> 00:06:18,976 And if you feel stuck, it's because you 170 00:06:19,527 --> 00:06:20,583 put yourself 171 00:06:21,194 --> 00:06:24,234 into that emotional state. You got into this 172 00:06:24,290 --> 00:06:25,187 emotional state 173 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,941 of feeling stuck. That's all it is. 174 00:06:29,948 --> 00:06:30,427 And listen, 175 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,579 what I'm about to talk about is gonna 176 00:06:32,579 --> 00:06:34,354 help you a lot because once you 177 00:06:34,731 --> 00:06:38,032 understand how you got there, the feeling of 178 00:06:38,246 --> 00:06:39,119 stuck stuck, 179 00:06:39,674 --> 00:06:42,371 feeling stuck. Once you understand how you got 180 00:06:42,371 --> 00:06:43,506 there, it's 181 00:06:43,974 --> 00:06:45,652 then you can see the path out of 182 00:06:45,652 --> 00:06:46,611 it. K. 183 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:49,408 So there's a couple of ways that we 184 00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,805 get ourselves into this emotional state, 185 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,496 of feeling stuck. 186 00:06:54,454 --> 00:06:55,891 And there's 3 that come to mind. The 187 00:06:55,891 --> 00:06:56,450 first 1 is this. 188 00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:58,307 You continually 189 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,122 let yourself down. 190 00:07:01,494 --> 00:07:04,610 So listen, order accomplish any big goal. It 191 00:07:04,610 --> 00:07:05,829 takes consistency. 192 00:07:06,207 --> 00:07:07,826 Right? You have to continually. 193 00:07:08,617 --> 00:07:10,231 Do the right things 194 00:07:10,606 --> 00:07:11,878 over and over and over and over and 195 00:07:11,878 --> 00:07:14,344 over again. Like, sticking with your meal plan. 196 00:07:15,314 --> 00:07:17,615 You have to do that every day. No 197 00:07:17,615 --> 00:07:19,598 matter what, until you reach your goal. 198 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,024 I talk a lot about planning ahead, and 199 00:07:25,024 --> 00:07:26,620 this is on a recent episode. I did 200 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,818 number 02:33, 201 00:07:27,978 --> 00:07:29,973 the power of planning ahead. Definitely listen to 202 00:07:29,973 --> 00:07:31,250 that 1. If you haven't checked it out 203 00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:31,410 yet. 204 00:07:32,460 --> 00:07:34,608 But the the way we do this is 205 00:07:34,608 --> 00:07:35,324 you plan ahead, 206 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,630 and then so you make a plan for 207 00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:38,983 what you're gonna eat, Let's say you you 208 00:07:38,983 --> 00:07:41,550 do this 24 hours in advance. And then 209 00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:43,389 you follow through with that plan tomorrow. That's 210 00:07:43,389 --> 00:07:44,829 it. That's how you do it. And you 211 00:07:44,829 --> 00:07:47,310 rinse and repeat that every single day. 212 00:07:48,189 --> 00:07:49,870 This is how you're gonna eventually reach your 213 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:50,029 goal. 214 00:07:50,842 --> 00:07:52,218 It's in these tiny 215 00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:56,281 little moments of decision that you make every 216 00:07:56,418 --> 00:07:59,286 single day for a long, long time. 217 00:08:00,178 --> 00:08:02,254 Tiny little moments of decision that add up 218 00:08:02,254 --> 00:08:04,569 to big change to big results. 219 00:08:06,245 --> 00:08:08,002 Okay. So that's the way we do it, 220 00:08:08,161 --> 00:08:08,661 but 221 00:08:09,134 --> 00:08:11,126 Here's what most people do. They make a 222 00:08:11,126 --> 00:08:11,626 plan 223 00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:14,153 and then they don't follow through with that 224 00:08:14,153 --> 00:08:15,905 plan. And so in that, 225 00:08:16,635 --> 00:08:18,777 situation. What are you doing? You're letting yourself 226 00:08:18,777 --> 00:08:18,935 down. 227 00:08:20,363 --> 00:08:22,505 And when you do this over and over 228 00:08:22,505 --> 00:08:25,301 again, you start to really break down the 229 00:08:25,301 --> 00:08:27,135 trust that you're trying to build in yourself. 230 00:08:27,773 --> 00:08:29,686 Because you don't trust yourself anymore. Like, I 231 00:08:29,686 --> 00:08:31,201 can't trust myself to stick to my plan 232 00:08:31,281 --> 00:08:32,636 And look at me, I failed again, 233 00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:34,322 You know, I didn't do what I said 234 00:08:34,402 --> 00:08:35,436 I gonna do again. 235 00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:38,775 And that really like shakes your confidence. You 236 00:08:38,775 --> 00:08:40,286 lose tons of confidence when need to do 237 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:40,446 that. 238 00:08:41,574 --> 00:08:42,870 And then you begin to think 239 00:08:43,246 --> 00:08:45,157 this is never gonna work for me. But 240 00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:45,634 you know what? 241 00:08:46,828 --> 00:08:48,659 That is just a lie that you keep 242 00:08:48,659 --> 00:08:49,376 telling yourself. 243 00:08:50,028 --> 00:08:52,415 Because you're full of guilt and shame and 244 00:08:52,415 --> 00:08:54,485 remorse over not doing what you said you 245 00:08:54,485 --> 00:08:56,793 would do. You're not in integrity with yourself. 246 00:08:57,524 --> 00:08:58,957 So you have to stop doing this. This 247 00:08:58,957 --> 00:09:00,094 is a vicious 248 00:09:00,549 --> 00:09:01,504 cycle to be in. 249 00:09:02,619 --> 00:09:05,485 And this is what leads to feeling stuff. 250 00:09:05,818 --> 00:09:07,568 And giving up on yourself. 251 00:09:09,239 --> 00:09:11,091 So when you constantly 252 00:09:11,466 --> 00:09:12,602 let yourself down 253 00:09:12,913 --> 00:09:13,731 you break 254 00:09:14,821 --> 00:09:17,070 confidence and trust in yourself, You lose 255 00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:18,739 confidence, then 256 00:09:19,352 --> 00:09:21,021 you feel stuck, and you feel like there's 257 00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,705 nothing you can do. Get out of it. 258 00:09:22,864 --> 00:09:24,295 So why bother and this is what why 259 00:09:24,295 --> 00:09:24,851 people quit. 260 00:09:26,758 --> 00:09:28,745 And when you're feeling that way, when you're 261 00:09:28,745 --> 00:09:32,024 feeling to defeated and, you know, you don't 262 00:09:32,024 --> 00:09:33,937 trust yourself anymore. You lack confidence. 263 00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:35,849 You're definitely not doing the right thing things. 264 00:09:36,088 --> 00:09:37,761 You're not taking aligned action. Those are the 265 00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:39,036 things that are gonna get you to your 266 00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:39,688 goals. Right? 267 00:09:40,724 --> 00:09:42,954 So your progress grinds to a halt. And, 268 00:09:43,034 --> 00:09:44,707 yeah, You're gonna you're gonna be stuck and 269 00:09:44,707 --> 00:09:46,300 you actually will feel. 270 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:48,949 Stuck, and you will actually not be making 271 00:09:48,949 --> 00:09:50,785 progress, and most people at that point will 272 00:09:50,785 --> 00:09:52,781 quit. Alright? So you have to stop letting 273 00:09:52,781 --> 00:09:53,180 yourself down. 274 00:09:53,899 --> 00:09:55,256 Stay in integrity with yourself. 275 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:57,821 Say you're gonna do something then do it, 276 00:09:57,981 --> 00:10:00,052 Make a plan, follow through a plan and 277 00:10:00,052 --> 00:10:01,565 show up for yourself every single day. 278 00:10:03,495 --> 00:10:05,735 So that's number 1 number 2 is that, 279 00:10:05,894 --> 00:10:07,574 for a lot of people progress can be 280 00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:07,815 slow. 281 00:10:08,534 --> 00:10:10,134 And this is another way that we, 282 00:10:10,709 --> 00:10:13,266 tell ourselves were stuck when we're really not. 283 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,424 So remember what I said earlier about, like, 284 00:10:15,584 --> 00:10:17,422 losing weight or running faster these things take 285 00:10:17,422 --> 00:10:19,180 time. They take a long time. Most people, 286 00:10:19,754 --> 00:10:21,987 are not okay with this. They say they're 287 00:10:21,987 --> 00:10:23,184 okay with this They're like, oh, yeah I 288 00:10:23,184 --> 00:10:24,380 get it, Patrick. I know it's gonna take 289 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:26,294 a while. But when we actually get into 290 00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:28,607 doing the work. So maybe I'm working with 291 00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:29,107 somebody 292 00:10:29,818 --> 00:10:31,174 at the beginning of the process. I say, 293 00:10:31,333 --> 00:10:32,688 listen. I, you know, it's a little bit 294 00:10:32,688 --> 00:10:34,044 different for each person that's is gonna take 295 00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:35,000 a while. I don't know how long it's 296 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,595 gonna take for you 3 months, 6 months 297 00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,521 a year. I don't know, You know don't 298 00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:40,266 say you have 50 pounds to lose. I 299 00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:41,536 don't know how long that's gonna take. 300 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:45,820 Everybody's so different, different metabolism, different lifestyles, different 301 00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:48,216 peoples. You you know, stick to things differently, 302 00:10:48,375 --> 00:10:50,757 you know, different people are more committed than 303 00:10:50,757 --> 00:10:51,471 others, whatever. 304 00:10:51,948 --> 00:10:53,615 More peep... Some people are more disciplined than 305 00:10:53,615 --> 00:10:53,853 others. 306 00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:55,856 But anyway, I'll get them on a meal 307 00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,242 plan, and they might doing... They might start 308 00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:58,958 doing that 309 00:10:59,515 --> 00:11:01,345 pretty regularly and they're doing okay, and they 310 00:11:01,345 --> 00:11:02,958 might see some results 311 00:11:03,428 --> 00:11:05,897 But then if they don't see results fast 312 00:11:05,897 --> 00:11:07,512 enough you know, or 313 00:11:08,048 --> 00:11:10,357 immediately, then things aren't changing. They're they're like, 314 00:11:10,596 --> 00:11:10,915 I'm stuck. 315 00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:13,789 And you know what? I get it. It's 316 00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:16,564 it's a tough thing to accept that you 317 00:11:16,564 --> 00:11:18,942 gotta do all this hard work every single 318 00:11:18,942 --> 00:11:19,101 day. 319 00:11:19,988 --> 00:11:21,653 But the payoff is like way later. 320 00:11:23,398 --> 00:11:26,173 That's tough for us, especially in the world 321 00:11:26,173 --> 00:11:27,204 we live in today. 322 00:11:27,934 --> 00:11:28,254 You know, 323 00:11:28,975 --> 00:11:31,235 waiting for results, you know, waiting 324 00:11:32,014 --> 00:11:33,934 committing to something and and knowing that the 325 00:11:33,934 --> 00:11:35,375 results are gonna be way off in the 326 00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:37,214 distance. That's a tough sell for a lot 327 00:11:37,214 --> 00:11:38,986 of people, because we're a society that's been 328 00:11:38,986 --> 00:11:40,583 trained to expect things now. 329 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:44,016 You know, Amazon has same day delivery. Uber 330 00:11:44,016 --> 00:11:46,810 eats delivers food to your couch and minutes. 331 00:11:47,703 --> 00:11:48,681 You know, sometimes. 332 00:11:49,378 --> 00:11:52,089 Every movie or song you've ever wanted to 333 00:11:52,089 --> 00:11:55,120 watch or listen to. It's instantly downloadable to 334 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,716 your phone, wherever you are. 335 00:11:57,449 --> 00:11:59,846 Right? So we are not a society that 336 00:11:59,846 --> 00:12:02,403 likes to wait for things, You know? 337 00:12:03,921 --> 00:12:05,575 Like, for me, if I'm buying something online 338 00:12:05,853 --> 00:12:07,126 and the shipping is like, well, this is 339 00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,876 gonna take, like a week or 10 days. 340 00:12:09,115 --> 00:12:10,944 I'm like, I don't know for really want 341 00:12:10,944 --> 00:12:13,092 that. Right? I mean, it's ridiculous to think 342 00:12:13,092 --> 00:12:13,410 that way. 343 00:12:14,365 --> 00:12:16,687 Iron funny recently, I bought a couch. 344 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:18,755 I can't remember last time I bought a 345 00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:20,187 couch. I think it was in 20 10. 346 00:12:20,346 --> 00:12:21,300 It was the last time I bought a 347 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:22,986 couch. Right? So I I think I was 348 00:12:22,986 --> 00:12:24,417 due for a new couch. 349 00:12:26,724 --> 00:12:29,768 And I love this couch. Beautiful, and I 350 00:12:29,768 --> 00:12:31,286 went into the store, and I saw it 351 00:12:31,286 --> 00:12:32,565 and I sat in it and all that 352 00:12:32,565 --> 00:12:34,163 good stuff. And Like, I want this couch. 353 00:12:34,803 --> 00:12:36,481 And and this is back in May. It 354 00:12:36,481 --> 00:12:38,330 was like, maybe eleventh Who's the day that 355 00:12:38,410 --> 00:12:39,205 I ordered this couch. 356 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,306 And they're like, you know, we... I sign 357 00:12:42,306 --> 00:12:44,135 all these papers and pay for it and 358 00:12:44,135 --> 00:12:45,885 everything and they're like, okay. Let's kinda talk 359 00:12:45,885 --> 00:12:47,396 about the shipping. I'm like, cool. You know 360 00:12:47,555 --> 00:12:48,469 I'm available 361 00:12:48,848 --> 00:12:50,766 this weekend or whatever they're like, oh, no. 362 00:12:51,885 --> 00:12:53,643 It's not gonna be ready until the middle 363 00:12:53,643 --> 00:12:54,363 of July. 364 00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:57,080 I was like, wait a minute. What now? 365 00:12:57,813 --> 00:12:59,482 I'd had wait 2 months for this couch. 366 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,628 Actually, I haven't even got it yet. Today's... 367 00:13:02,343 --> 00:13:04,171 As I'm recording this, it's July 11, so 368 00:13:04,171 --> 00:13:06,079 it's been exactly 2 months since I ordered 369 00:13:06,079 --> 00:13:08,644 this couch. Still not here. I'll keep you 370 00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:10,000 posted on that. I'll tell you when I 371 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:10,478 get the couch. 372 00:13:11,356 --> 00:13:12,632 But I had to really think about this. 373 00:13:13,110 --> 00:13:14,546 After I did all this stuff and I 374 00:13:14,546 --> 00:13:15,822 sign the papers and I paid for it 375 00:13:15,822 --> 00:13:16,540 and everything. I was like, 376 00:13:17,511 --> 00:13:18,864 I don't know if I want this now 377 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,217 because it's gonna take so long to get 378 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,366 here in the grand scheme of things is 379 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,640 2 months really that big of a deal. 380 00:13:23,799 --> 00:13:24,038 No. 381 00:13:24,849 --> 00:13:26,603 But I've been sitting on this jin old 382 00:13:26,603 --> 00:13:28,597 couch forever, and I'm like, I just want 383 00:13:28,597 --> 00:13:30,829 this new couch, like it's ridiculous. But this 384 00:13:30,829 --> 00:13:32,344 is... Anyway, this is the world we live 385 00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:33,460 right now. Right? Everything, 386 00:13:33,954 --> 00:13:35,947 we want it now. Right? So when it 387 00:13:35,947 --> 00:13:38,340 comes to things like losing weight. It takes 388 00:13:38,340 --> 00:13:40,413 time. If you wanna run a faster marathon 389 00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:42,885 or qualify for Boston or, you know, break, 390 00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:44,493 2 hours and a half, whatever it is. 391 00:13:45,369 --> 00:13:46,803 It's gonna take some time. 392 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,670 How much time? Well, that's the cool part 393 00:13:49,670 --> 00:13:51,741 because we don't know. That's the fun part, 394 00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:54,463 2 it's different for everyone. Nobody really knows. 395 00:13:55,498 --> 00:13:56,772 So this goes back to what I said 396 00:13:56,772 --> 00:13:59,717 earlier about committing to the process of change. 397 00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,365 So so many people I talked to, will 398 00:14:02,365 --> 00:14:04,680 we'll say, yeah. I wanna lose 30 pounds 399 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,235 by, you know, September first or whatever. I'm 400 00:14:07,235 --> 00:14:08,752 like, okay. Let's just take that date off 401 00:14:08,752 --> 00:14:10,683 the table right now. Because 402 00:14:11,321 --> 00:14:13,077 we don't know is how long it's gonna 403 00:14:13,077 --> 00:14:13,317 take. 404 00:14:13,955 --> 00:14:15,631 Now we can make some progress between now 405 00:14:15,631 --> 00:14:17,467 and then, absolutely, but I don't think... I 406 00:14:17,467 --> 00:14:18,920 don't know if you're gonna get. That goal 407 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,519 in that amount of time, like, who knows? 408 00:14:21,639 --> 00:14:23,559 So we gotta come into the process of 409 00:14:23,559 --> 00:14:24,920 change. And it doesn't matter how long it 410 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,975 takes 6 months, a year 3 years does 411 00:14:27,254 --> 00:14:28,632 not matter. What matters 412 00:14:29,729 --> 00:14:31,644 is that you've chosen to live your life 413 00:14:31,644 --> 00:14:32,363 in a healthy way. 414 00:14:33,401 --> 00:14:35,396 You're always improving a little by little, day 415 00:14:35,396 --> 00:14:35,796 by day, 416 00:14:36,528 --> 00:14:38,517 and remember it's in these tiny little moments 417 00:14:38,517 --> 00:14:41,619 of progress every single day that add up 418 00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,051 to really big change. 419 00:14:43,702 --> 00:14:45,771 Okay? So we have to understand that progress 420 00:14:45,771 --> 00:14:47,839 can be slow. Don't take that as a 421 00:14:47,839 --> 00:14:49,532 sign that you're stuck because you're not 422 00:14:49,907 --> 00:14:50,146 stuck. 423 00:14:50,878 --> 00:14:53,031 Just accept the fact that progress is slow 424 00:14:53,031 --> 00:14:54,466 and commit to the process. 425 00:14:56,221 --> 00:14:58,773 The third way that we can really feel 426 00:14:58,773 --> 00:14:59,411 like we're stuck. 427 00:15:00,064 --> 00:15:01,363 Is that we 428 00:15:01,822 --> 00:15:02,701 misunderstand failure. 429 00:15:04,299 --> 00:15:06,057 So 1 of the things I talk a 430 00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:08,350 lot about with clients is that 431 00:15:08,789 --> 00:15:11,685 we have to change our definition of failure 432 00:15:11,825 --> 00:15:13,103 if you wanna avoid feeling stuck. 433 00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:14,721 So 434 00:15:15,594 --> 00:15:17,052 me ask you this. What you think of 435 00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:18,148 when you think of failure? 436 00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:20,862 It's like the end. Right? Like you failed? 437 00:15:21,022 --> 00:15:22,857 And so you're done. That's what most people 438 00:15:22,857 --> 00:15:24,707 think of failure as. Or they think of 439 00:15:24,707 --> 00:15:26,701 it as like, I am a failure. 440 00:15:27,419 --> 00:15:29,413 Like, I did not succeed at this, so 441 00:15:29,573 --> 00:15:30,530 I am a failure. 442 00:15:31,168 --> 00:15:33,082 Like, this is never gonna work. I'm always 443 00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:33,901 gonna fail 444 00:15:34,453 --> 00:15:36,684 and we look at failure as such a 445 00:15:36,684 --> 00:15:39,394 huge negative thing. We look at it as 446 00:15:39,394 --> 00:15:40,828 like the worst thing, Really. 447 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,320 Oh, and this a big reason why a 448 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,080 lot of people will not even start stuff 449 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,279 because they're afraid of failing. 450 00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:50,120 Right? That's crazy because listen, failing is just 451 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:50,759 part of the process. 452 00:15:51,252 --> 00:15:53,953 It's part of the process of succeeding. Right? 453 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,121 So 454 00:15:57,051 --> 00:15:59,196 when I was in junior high, it was 455 00:15:59,196 --> 00:15:59,910 like, ninth grade. 456 00:16:01,117 --> 00:16:03,025 I was not the best student. I f 457 00:16:03,025 --> 00:16:04,773 off a bunch. I really didn't care. All 458 00:16:04,853 --> 00:16:05,909 I cared about was 459 00:16:06,522 --> 00:16:08,748 do around my friends and girls. Like, that's 460 00:16:08,748 --> 00:16:09,940 all. I really cared about. 461 00:16:11,869 --> 00:16:12,369 And 462 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:15,857 I got, like, mostly cs a few d's, 463 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:18,090 and then in 1 class at the end 464 00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:19,606 of the year, I ended up getting an 465 00:16:19,606 --> 00:16:22,572 f. In algebra ninth grade algebra. I got 466 00:16:22,572 --> 00:16:24,247 it f, and I was like, oh my 467 00:16:24,247 --> 00:16:25,682 god. I was devastated, 468 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,713 and I felt like such a huge loser. 469 00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:30,584 So So 470 00:16:31,277 --> 00:16:34,379 I kinda deem myself as a failure. I 471 00:16:34,379 --> 00:16:36,130 figured my parents were gonna kill me. First 472 00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:38,277 of all, I'm never gonna graduate from high 473 00:16:38,277 --> 00:16:39,886 school. I'm stupid dumb loser. 474 00:16:40,843 --> 00:16:42,359 And listen, is any of that stuff true? 475 00:16:42,598 --> 00:16:42,758 No. 476 00:16:43,555 --> 00:16:46,666 But does thinking these terrible things help us 477 00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:47,384 at all? No. 478 00:16:49,311 --> 00:16:51,164 So how do you think I felt 479 00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,129 with that kind of a mindset? 480 00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,674 Well I felt like I was completely stuck, 481 00:16:56,072 --> 00:16:58,636 Like, I can't do math. I'm never gonna 482 00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:00,073 be good at math. I can never get 483 00:17:00,073 --> 00:17:01,429 it. Why bother trying. 484 00:17:03,265 --> 00:17:05,180 By the way, happy ending to that story. 485 00:17:05,513 --> 00:17:07,263 I took summer school that year. I got 486 00:17:07,263 --> 00:17:08,695 my grade up to where it needed to 487 00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,922 be, so I didn't have to retake that 488 00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:12,036 the next year or whatever. 489 00:17:12,529 --> 00:17:14,287 I did graduate from high school. My parents 490 00:17:14,287 --> 00:17:15,965 did in fact not kill me, which is 491 00:17:15,965 --> 00:17:18,202 awesome, and I ended up not being a 492 00:17:18,202 --> 00:17:19,560 stupid dumb loser. I'm actually... 493 00:17:20,293 --> 00:17:21,805 I've turned out to be pretty awesome and 494 00:17:21,805 --> 00:17:25,464 smart. Okay? So failure is part of the 495 00:17:25,464 --> 00:17:25,964 process. 496 00:17:27,389 --> 00:17:29,807 It's never the end. We have to just 497 00:17:29,866 --> 00:17:33,861 accept this. Right? Failure never means the end, 498 00:17:34,101 --> 00:17:36,349 and it never ever means that you are 499 00:17:36,349 --> 00:17:38,203 a failure. It just means you tried something 500 00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,811 and didn't work. Okay. So try something else 501 00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:41,688 or try that again. 502 00:17:43,139 --> 00:17:45,157 Failing is part of the process, 503 00:17:46,096 --> 00:17:48,993 and you have to commit to failing 504 00:17:49,532 --> 00:17:51,050 if you eventually wanna succeed, 505 00:17:52,022 --> 00:17:53,933 failure is inevitable. It will happen. 506 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:56,800 You will go off your food plan. You 507 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,632 have a terrible workout. You won't p of 508 00:17:58,632 --> 00:18:00,797 that marathon that you've been training for. Your 509 00:18:00,797 --> 00:18:02,547 progress might go in the wrong direction. You 510 00:18:02,547 --> 00:18:05,172 might gain weight. You might actually get slower. 511 00:18:05,729 --> 00:18:07,081 You know what? It's all okay. 512 00:18:07,974 --> 00:18:11,015 Embrace failure for what it is. It's part 513 00:18:11,015 --> 00:18:12,214 of the learning process. 514 00:18:12,775 --> 00:18:14,394 Every success is built 515 00:18:14,855 --> 00:18:16,694 upon a big old pile of failures. 516 00:18:17,428 --> 00:18:19,893 Alright. So stop seeing failure as the end. 517 00:18:21,086 --> 00:18:22,756 Stop seeing failure as I'm stuck. 518 00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,848 Start seeing it as just another's. Step towards 519 00:18:27,142 --> 00:18:28,650 success. That's it. That's all it is. 520 00:18:29,682 --> 00:18:31,349 So the bottom line here with all this 521 00:18:31,349 --> 00:18:33,199 today. You are never 522 00:18:33,588 --> 00:18:33,747 stuck. 523 00:18:34,623 --> 00:18:36,853 Being stuck is just an emotional state that 524 00:18:36,853 --> 00:18:38,605 you are putting yourself into? 525 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,312 And so what do you do when you 526 00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:42,997 feel stuck the way out, 527 00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:46,755 stop letting yourself down. You gotta start building 528 00:18:46,812 --> 00:18:47,312 trust 529 00:18:47,766 --> 00:18:50,150 and integrity with yourself instead. And when you 530 00:18:50,150 --> 00:18:51,755 do that, when you do what you say 531 00:18:51,755 --> 00:18:53,503 you're gonna do. You build confidence in yourself, 532 00:18:53,742 --> 00:18:55,729 You make progress, and then you you wanna 533 00:18:55,729 --> 00:18:57,557 keep doing that. Get out of that vicious 534 00:18:57,557 --> 00:18:59,862 cycle of letting yourself down and feeling terrible. 535 00:19:00,593 --> 00:19:02,286 Get into the cycle of of 536 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:03,400 building 537 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,844 that trust and integrity with yourself, doing what 538 00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:08,015 you said you're gonna do and building that 539 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:08,948 motivation to keep going. 540 00:19:10,395 --> 00:19:12,702 Number 2, accept the fact that progress will 541 00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:15,008 be slow. That's okay. Progress can be slow. 542 00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,933 It doesn't matter how long it takes. The 543 00:19:16,933 --> 00:19:18,449 important thing is that you are committed to 544 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:19,667 the process of change 545 00:19:20,203 --> 00:19:21,719 and that you're in this. Right? There's no 546 00:19:21,719 --> 00:19:22,118 finish line. 547 00:19:23,314 --> 00:19:25,308 Being healthy. It's not a destination we're trying 548 00:19:25,308 --> 00:19:26,425 to get to it's how we live our 549 00:19:26,425 --> 00:19:26,505 life. 550 00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:30,282 Period. Okay? And then number 3, you gotta 551 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:33,363 reframe failure. Stop seeing as the end. 552 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,841 If and just start seeing it as just 553 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:37,691 1 more thing that you learned 554 00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:41,104 that maybe didn't work on the road to 555 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:44,851 eventually reaching your big goal. And eventually being 556 00:19:44,987 --> 00:19:45,384 successful. 557 00:19:46,337 --> 00:19:49,197 Okay? You got this. Love you all, keep 558 00:19:49,197 --> 00:19:50,865 on running lean, and I will talk to 559 00:19:50,865 --> 00:19:51,183 you soon.