1 00:00:05,359 --> 00:00:08,720 Welcome to Love's Everyday Radius, a podcast brought 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,179 to you by the Hoffman Institute. 3 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,480 My name is Sharon Moore and I'm one 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,855 of your hosts. And on this podcast, we 5 00:00:14,855 --> 00:00:17,835 talk to Hoffman graduates about how their courageous 6 00:00:17,975 --> 00:00:18,875 journey inward 7 00:00:19,494 --> 00:00:23,175 impacted their personal lives, but also how it 8 00:00:23,175 --> 00:00:26,039 impacted their community and the world at large. 9 00:00:26,839 --> 00:00:28,920 So tune in and listen in and hear 10 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,960 how our graduates authentic selves, how their love, 11 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:32,940 how their spirits 12 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:35,719 are making a positive impact on our world 13 00:00:35,719 --> 00:00:36,219 today. 14 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,500 In other words, get to know their love's 15 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:40,700 everyday radius. 16 00:00:48,445 --> 00:00:50,625 Alright. So welcome back, everybody. 17 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:53,585 Today, my guest is Tamar Geller. 18 00:00:54,045 --> 00:00:56,045 Talk about a person who is using her 19 00:00:56,045 --> 00:00:56,545 unique 20 00:00:56,979 --> 00:00:59,299 calling, her unique gift to make our world 21 00:00:59,299 --> 00:01:00,119 a better place. 22 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:01,799 Let me just start with this. 23 00:01:02,739 --> 00:01:03,799 Oprah Winfrey 24 00:01:04,260 --> 00:01:06,260 named her the life coach for dogs and 25 00:01:06,260 --> 00:01:07,000 their people. 26 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,780 Tamar is the founder of the Love Dog 27 00:01:09,780 --> 00:01:12,134 method, which she developed thirty years ago, and 28 00:01:12,134 --> 00:01:13,974 this was based on her experience as an 29 00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,875 intelligence officer in the Israeli special forces 30 00:01:17,334 --> 00:01:19,734 and from time observing wolves. Can't wait to 31 00:01:19,734 --> 00:01:22,375 hear about that people. She has provided insight 32 00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:24,474 and training to millions of dog enthusiasts. 33 00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:26,459 She is the author of the New York 34 00:01:26,459 --> 00:01:27,280 Times bestseller, 35 00:01:27,579 --> 00:01:30,159 The Love Dog, The Playful, Nonaggressive 36 00:01:30,459 --> 00:01:32,560 Way to Teach Your Dog Good Behavior. 37 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,140 Tamar deeply, deeply cares about our world. She's 38 00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:39,259 created the Loved World Foundation and Operations Heroes 39 00:01:39,259 --> 00:01:42,415 and Hounds, where she provides deep transformation for 40 00:01:42,415 --> 00:01:45,075 both injured members of The United States Military 41 00:01:45,534 --> 00:01:48,334 and shelter dogs. I can go on and 42 00:01:48,334 --> 00:01:51,454 on. Let's pause there and welcome Tamar. Tamar, 43 00:01:51,454 --> 00:01:52,469 welcome to the show. 44 00:01:52,950 --> 00:01:55,510 Thank you, Sharon. It's such a pleasure and 45 00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:56,969 an honor being with you. 46 00:01:57,590 --> 00:01:59,750 I'm so excited to have you now. I 47 00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:00,810 am just so, 48 00:02:02,069 --> 00:02:02,569 enamored 49 00:02:03,189 --> 00:02:05,750 by how your gift, your natural gift has 50 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:06,969 become this vehicle 51 00:02:07,645 --> 00:02:10,064 to make a positive impact in the world. 52 00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:12,764 And I'm curious, how did this connection with 53 00:02:12,764 --> 00:02:14,224 dogs start for you? 54 00:02:15,645 --> 00:02:18,224 So, obviously, we all know about, 55 00:02:18,685 --> 00:02:20,444 the fact that we are spirits who have 56 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:21,504 a human experience. 57 00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:23,025 And when you 58 00:02:23,379 --> 00:02:25,620 go to Hoffman, you really learn how to 59 00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:27,000 connect with your spirit. 60 00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,080 And funny enough, 61 00:02:29,939 --> 00:02:31,479 spirit was guiding me 62 00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,479 before I even knew 63 00:02:34,099 --> 00:02:34,599 about 64 00:02:35,715 --> 00:02:37,715 the concept of spirit in your in the 65 00:02:37,715 --> 00:02:39,655 driver's seat. So what happened was 66 00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:42,215 when I was an intelligence officer 67 00:02:42,995 --> 00:02:45,235 with the elite special forces in Israel, we 68 00:02:45,235 --> 00:02:46,775 found out that I have a gift 69 00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:48,854 where I can pay attention 70 00:02:49,155 --> 00:02:50,534 to the non important 71 00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:53,650 things, meaning people would say something, people would 72 00:02:53,650 --> 00:02:56,050 do something. So I was very attuned to 73 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:56,550 behavior. 74 00:02:57,650 --> 00:03:00,290 And when I finished my service, I went 75 00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:02,069 down to the Israeli Desert 76 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,310 to help with behavior research 77 00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:06,745 of, wild wolves. 78 00:03:07,525 --> 00:03:09,625 I was just doing it in order to 79 00:03:09,925 --> 00:03:11,844 just to kill time because I was gonna 80 00:03:11,844 --> 00:03:14,185 go my plan was to go to university 81 00:03:14,245 --> 00:03:15,705 to become a psychologist, 82 00:03:16,245 --> 00:03:17,784 to continue with behavior, 83 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,959 with people. I wanted to be a researcher. 84 00:03:21,579 --> 00:03:23,099 While I was there in the desert, I 85 00:03:23,099 --> 00:03:23,840 had a dream. 86 00:03:24,459 --> 00:03:26,799 And the dream said in Hebrew, 87 00:03:27,419 --> 00:03:29,439 you need to work with dogs. 88 00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:32,780 And I was a dog liker. I wasn't 89 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:33,759 a dog lover. 90 00:03:34,504 --> 00:03:36,425 I was not, you know, I was not 91 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,585 in love with every dog. I did not 92 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,205 feel for, you know, 93 00:03:40,585 --> 00:03:42,585 the plight, the dogs. I mean, I was 94 00:03:42,665 --> 00:03:44,525 I just thought they were cute and fun. 95 00:03:44,985 --> 00:03:45,960 That was it. 96 00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:49,099 But one thing led to another, 97 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:50,860 and doors opened 98 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,599 for me as long as I walked on 99 00:03:54,599 --> 00:03:55,580 that path 100 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,260 of serving dogs. 101 00:03:57,800 --> 00:03:59,480 It's a long story, but, 102 00:04:00,605 --> 00:04:03,324 I found myself in United States after I 103 00:04:03,324 --> 00:04:04,625 was given a ticket. 104 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,044 And I just said, okay, let me volunteer 105 00:04:08,044 --> 00:04:10,625 with a dog trainer here. And I volunteered 106 00:04:10,844 --> 00:04:12,224 and he got a call 107 00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:15,219 from a fancy part of town from a 108 00:04:15,219 --> 00:04:17,139 guy who said, oh, I've already been to 109 00:04:17,139 --> 00:04:18,279 three dog trainers. 110 00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,120 My dog is stealing socks. 111 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,959 And he said to me, 112 00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,339 you go and work with him. And I 113 00:04:24,339 --> 00:04:26,134 said, but I'm not a dog trainer. I 114 00:04:26,134 --> 00:04:29,355 mean, I understand behavior. I studied wolves, but 115 00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:31,574 I I'm not a dog trainer. And he 116 00:04:31,574 --> 00:04:33,254 goes, you just go. Go. I don't want 117 00:04:33,415 --> 00:04:34,935 I don't have the patience to deal with 118 00:04:34,935 --> 00:04:35,435 him. 119 00:04:36,214 --> 00:04:37,435 So I went there, 120 00:04:38,455 --> 00:04:38,775 and, 121 00:04:40,079 --> 00:04:42,000 the guy who opens the door for me 122 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,120 was, like, long hair, curl curly hair, very 123 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:45,620 sweet. 124 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:49,279 And I was looking at this relationship with 125 00:04:49,279 --> 00:04:50,879 the dog, and he was so sweet. But 126 00:04:50,879 --> 00:04:53,060 then very clearly, it became evident 127 00:04:53,785 --> 00:04:56,185 that he's working from home. That was years 128 00:04:56,185 --> 00:04:56,685 ago. 129 00:04:57,305 --> 00:05:00,264 And the only time the dog could get 130 00:05:00,264 --> 00:05:01,004 his attention 131 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,324 was when he was stealing socks. 132 00:05:04,185 --> 00:05:06,745 So I just instead of making the dog 133 00:05:06,745 --> 00:05:09,790 wrong and tried to correct him as dog 134 00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:11,090 trainers have done, 135 00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:14,430 I said, here is the need. The need 136 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:16,910 is for attention. The need is for true 137 00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:19,090 connection. The need is for your presence. 138 00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,310 I said, let me show you the games 139 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:23,569 that the wolves play with each other 140 00:05:24,154 --> 00:05:27,115 so you can actually feed the need of 141 00:05:27,115 --> 00:05:29,834 the dog and satiate him so he would 142 00:05:29,834 --> 00:05:31,694 not have to steal socks anymore. 143 00:05:32,154 --> 00:05:34,314 And within couple of days, we solved the 144 00:05:34,314 --> 00:05:36,394 problem, and it turns out that the guy 145 00:05:36,394 --> 00:05:38,574 was the amazing musician, Kenny g. 146 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:41,040 All of a sudden, I would start getting 147 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,819 calls from his friends. So 148 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,379 Goldie Hawn called me and Whoopi 149 00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:46,580 Goldberg and 150 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,259 one actress named, 151 00:05:48,879 --> 00:05:49,699 Nicole Sheridan, 152 00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,420 who years later 153 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,020 introduced me 154 00:05:54,514 --> 00:05:55,175 to Oprah 155 00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:57,714 when Oprah came to be a guest on 156 00:05:57,714 --> 00:05:59,975 a show called Desperate Housewife 157 00:06:00,835 --> 00:06:03,235 that Nicolette was on. At the time, I 158 00:06:03,235 --> 00:06:05,395 was already the resident dog expert for the 159 00:06:05,395 --> 00:06:06,295 Today Show. 160 00:06:07,039 --> 00:06:09,139 And when Oprah saw Nicolette 161 00:06:09,439 --> 00:06:12,740 and her three months old golden retriever, Oliver, 162 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,459 who was 163 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,819 so in tune with Nicolette on the set, 164 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,180 so connected, so devoted, so 165 00:06:20,675 --> 00:06:23,074 she wanted to meet, and I was very 166 00:06:23,074 --> 00:06:25,395 blessed that she invited me into her home 167 00:06:25,395 --> 00:06:25,895 and 168 00:06:26,514 --> 00:06:28,275 into to be a part of her life 169 00:06:28,275 --> 00:06:30,835 and the dog's life and to go and 170 00:06:30,835 --> 00:06:32,214 be on her show 171 00:06:32,595 --> 00:06:33,814 a few times. So 172 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:36,019 it's completely spirit guided. 173 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,159 And then when I wrote my book, she 174 00:06:38,159 --> 00:06:40,159 launched it for me. I mean, she has 175 00:06:40,159 --> 00:06:41,139 been my angel, 176 00:06:41,599 --> 00:06:42,579 but it's truly 177 00:06:43,039 --> 00:06:43,539 spirit 178 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,339 guided. I could not have 179 00:06:46,879 --> 00:06:48,259 done it in my own 180 00:06:48,964 --> 00:06:49,125 will 181 00:06:49,845 --> 00:06:52,264 that well. I mean, spirit is truly incredible 182 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,345 when we have the courage, I feel, 183 00:06:54,884 --> 00:06:55,625 to change 184 00:06:56,485 --> 00:06:59,125 our plans, to be more in a place 185 00:06:59,125 --> 00:06:59,625 of, 186 00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:03,079 here is my plan, but what do you 187 00:07:03,079 --> 00:07:05,019 want me to do? Yeah. Surrender. 188 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,660 So but but so you say this 189 00:07:08,439 --> 00:07:10,839 from hindsight. In hindsight, you say, hey, spirit 190 00:07:10,839 --> 00:07:12,279 was in the driver's seat, but I didn't 191 00:07:12,279 --> 00:07:13,959 even know that. How did you at what 192 00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:16,004 point did you realize, oh, I need to 193 00:07:16,004 --> 00:07:18,805 start paying attention and surrendering to spirit or 194 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:21,285 letting spirit take the driver's seat? I still 195 00:07:21,285 --> 00:07:22,264 do every day. 196 00:07:22,725 --> 00:07:25,464 It's still every day I have the fight 197 00:07:25,604 --> 00:07:26,104 between, 198 00:07:26,644 --> 00:07:29,125 you know, it's a combination of my intellect 199 00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,660 to thinks knows better and my dark side 200 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:33,199 who is pumping me with fears. 201 00:07:33,899 --> 00:07:37,259 So it's still a tight rope act of 202 00:07:37,259 --> 00:07:40,379 choosing spirit and choosing not to know and 203 00:07:40,379 --> 00:07:40,879 choosing 204 00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:42,160 service. 205 00:07:43,154 --> 00:07:44,454 Above all, serving 206 00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:47,574 dogs and serving through the dog, serving people. 207 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:50,595 So it's every day. You see, one thing 208 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,354 I'm very blessed with it is that I 209 00:07:52,354 --> 00:07:54,995 have no doubt what my purpose in this 210 00:07:54,995 --> 00:07:57,714 life is and that my life is about 211 00:07:57,714 --> 00:07:58,214 service. 212 00:07:58,910 --> 00:08:01,410 I know that my life is not about 213 00:08:02,269 --> 00:08:02,769 acquiring 214 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:03,649 things. 215 00:08:04,189 --> 00:08:07,009 You know, it's I'm not getting excited about 216 00:08:07,149 --> 00:08:08,990 a new purse or a new pair of 217 00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:10,850 shoes. It just doesn't excite me. 218 00:08:11,194 --> 00:08:13,294 What excite me is to see transformation. 219 00:08:14,074 --> 00:08:14,574 Transformation 220 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:15,615 of dogs, 221 00:08:16,235 --> 00:08:18,095 to see dogs who were traumatized 222 00:08:18,474 --> 00:08:19,774 in the name of training. 223 00:08:20,394 --> 00:08:22,235 Like I have here right now with me 224 00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:22,894 a dog 225 00:08:23,610 --> 00:08:25,930 that was sent for six weeks to a 226 00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,550 trainer in Southern California. 227 00:08:28,490 --> 00:08:31,069 And her mom, who actually is a Hoffman 228 00:08:31,129 --> 00:08:33,210 graduate as well, her mom called me and 229 00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:35,850 she said, can you please come and show 230 00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:37,529 us what to do? They're in Southern they 231 00:08:37,529 --> 00:08:40,054 are like in much south of here. We 232 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:42,714 cannot meet with them. And when I heard 233 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,654 the training that was called positive training, but 234 00:08:45,654 --> 00:08:47,894 it was as far away from positive as 235 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:48,714 it can be, 236 00:08:49,334 --> 00:08:51,574 I said, I I really cannot help you 237 00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:52,044 because I cannot teach you how to reinforce 238 00:08:52,044 --> 00:08:52,124 what they've done. That's not my method. And 239 00:08:52,124 --> 00:08:52,884 she said, please, 240 00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:00,529 house, and 241 00:09:00,909 --> 00:09:02,269 I was there and I was crying. I 242 00:09:02,269 --> 00:09:04,350 was just I started to cry. I'm doing 243 00:09:04,350 --> 00:09:06,110 it for over thirty years, and I still 244 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,330 cry. You know? And 245 00:09:07,644 --> 00:09:09,565 because you're so scared dog. You see a 246 00:09:09,565 --> 00:09:11,565 puppy. She was about three and a half 247 00:09:11,565 --> 00:09:13,985 months old. And you see somebody 248 00:09:14,365 --> 00:09:16,365 did a number on her spirit, on her 249 00:09:17,164 --> 00:09:19,404 you know, you see a traumatized dog. And 250 00:09:19,404 --> 00:09:22,144 she knew it, and she felt horrible. 251 00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,230 And we had to keep I would not 252 00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:26,610 take her to be with me. 253 00:09:27,389 --> 00:09:29,550 Sometimes I take dogs for we call it 254 00:09:29,550 --> 00:09:31,790 training vacation when they become my dog for 255 00:09:31,790 --> 00:09:32,769 a period of time. 256 00:09:33,149 --> 00:09:35,330 And I said, I can't. She's too traumatized. 257 00:09:36,164 --> 00:09:38,245 Love on her. Love on her no matter 258 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,404 what. Let her make all the mistakes in 259 00:09:40,404 --> 00:09:43,044 the world. Even if she is peeing on 260 00:09:43,044 --> 00:09:45,524 the pillow that you sleep in, do not 261 00:09:45,524 --> 00:09:47,544 correct. We now have to 262 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,184 help her sympathetic nervous system 263 00:09:51,649 --> 00:09:54,129 to come back to center. It her her 264 00:09:54,129 --> 00:09:56,389 nervous system is like somebody who's, 265 00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:58,789 you know, was abused severely. 266 00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:01,490 And then after a week of that, she 267 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:03,809 came to me and I start building that 268 00:10:03,809 --> 00:10:05,029 little puppy up. 269 00:10:05,725 --> 00:10:06,225 So 270 00:10:06,924 --> 00:10:09,164 you see when I'm here in a place 271 00:10:09,164 --> 00:10:09,904 of service, 272 00:10:10,524 --> 00:10:12,125 I ask a dog in a way I'm 273 00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:14,225 doing a quadrinity check with them. 274 00:10:14,524 --> 00:10:15,664 What it is, 275 00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:17,745 little doggy, that you need? 276 00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,985 What does your intellect need? 277 00:10:20,339 --> 00:10:22,679 What does your your emotions need? 278 00:10:23,299 --> 00:10:25,079 What is your body need? 279 00:10:25,699 --> 00:10:28,179 And can you please help your spirit to 280 00:10:28,179 --> 00:10:29,879 guide me so I can guide you? 281 00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,379 You know? So I'm here to serve. So 282 00:10:33,379 --> 00:10:35,995 whenever I meet a dog or a person, 283 00:10:37,174 --> 00:10:39,975 I'm immediately looking if how can I serve? 284 00:10:39,975 --> 00:10:41,995 Because, Sharon, when you think about it, 285 00:10:43,014 --> 00:10:44,615 there are so many dogs out in the 286 00:10:44,615 --> 00:10:45,115 world. 287 00:10:45,815 --> 00:10:47,915 And from all the dogs in the world, 288 00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:51,129 we all choose that one dog, and that 289 00:10:51,129 --> 00:10:52,830 one dog is becoming 290 00:10:53,370 --> 00:10:54,029 a teacher. 291 00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:58,009 You know? And for me, learning from a 292 00:10:58,009 --> 00:10:59,450 dog, it's kinda like, you know, in half 293 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:01,930 when we learn, we have the right path, 294 00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:03,710 we have the left path. Right? 295 00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:06,254 There are many ways we can get, you 296 00:11:06,254 --> 00:11:08,574 know, the lessons that we came here to 297 00:11:08,574 --> 00:11:09,315 to learn. 298 00:11:10,014 --> 00:11:12,034 And learning through dogs, 299 00:11:13,054 --> 00:11:14,574 I find it to be one of the 300 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,454 sweetest way. So that woman had to learn 301 00:11:17,454 --> 00:11:19,315 to trust her own gut 302 00:11:20,190 --> 00:11:20,929 because she 303 00:11:22,110 --> 00:11:23,790 knew. Yeah. And this is where my head 304 00:11:23,790 --> 00:11:25,950 went. As you said, you know, I'm I'm 305 00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:28,429 here for service, which I it rings so 306 00:11:28,429 --> 00:11:30,029 true for me. And then you said, I'm 307 00:11:30,029 --> 00:11:32,830 here for service for transformation of dogs. And 308 00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:33,730 I was wondering, 309 00:11:34,044 --> 00:11:36,684 how does that connect to the transformation of 310 00:11:36,684 --> 00:11:38,544 their parents, of their humans? 311 00:11:38,924 --> 00:11:41,325 You said to her, love on her. But 312 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,285 what if that human has her own patterns 313 00:11:44,285 --> 00:11:45,804 that are getting in the way of her 314 00:11:45,804 --> 00:11:47,665 being able to love on her dog? 315 00:11:48,299 --> 00:11:51,580 Which luckily that wasn't the issue. We all 316 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:52,960 have patterns, obviously. 317 00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:54,320 So, 318 00:11:55,019 --> 00:11:57,519 in that case, that was not the pattern. 319 00:11:57,580 --> 00:12:00,559 The pattern that I saw is self doubt. 320 00:12:02,644 --> 00:12:05,044 The pattern that I saw is standing up 321 00:12:05,044 --> 00:12:05,784 and saying 322 00:12:06,164 --> 00:12:08,105 to somebody who called themselves professional 323 00:12:08,804 --> 00:12:09,944 to say, nah, 324 00:12:11,204 --> 00:12:13,064 I'm not gonna let you do that. 325 00:12:13,924 --> 00:12:15,064 And and I think 326 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,240 we all have to learn to do it. 327 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,759 You know, one of the beautiful things that 328 00:12:18,759 --> 00:12:20,379 I've learned in the Hoffman process 329 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,240 is when one of the teacher told me, 330 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:23,740 Tamar, 331 00:12:24,279 --> 00:12:26,360 what if you are not the crazy one? 332 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:27,659 And I was like, what? 333 00:12:28,004 --> 00:12:30,245 But I'm the screwed up one. I mean, 334 00:12:30,245 --> 00:12:32,004 that's why I'm here. I know that I'm 335 00:12:32,004 --> 00:12:33,924 the I'm I am the one with the 336 00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:34,424 issue. 337 00:12:34,725 --> 00:12:36,825 And it's not that I don't have patterns 338 00:12:37,045 --> 00:12:38,264 and issues and whatnot, 339 00:12:38,804 --> 00:12:40,585 but what if I'm not 340 00:12:41,019 --> 00:12:43,179 the most screwed up one the way my 341 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:44,480 family wanted to 342 00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:45,679 make me 343 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:46,799 feel? 344 00:12:47,339 --> 00:12:48,879 What if it's not the truth? 345 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,899 So in a way that was kinda like 346 00:12:51,899 --> 00:12:52,799 there where 347 00:12:53,419 --> 00:12:54,559 you are right, 348 00:12:55,144 --> 00:12:58,585 And sometimes it is right to stand up 349 00:12:58,585 --> 00:13:01,965 to authority, to the professional, to question them, 350 00:13:02,184 --> 00:13:03,804 even if you're gonna be disliked. 351 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:05,325 Yeah. 352 00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,909 So here are, you know, to take this 353 00:13:07,909 --> 00:13:09,990 example, but I imagine this is applicable for 354 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,370 many people you serve. 355 00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,990 Not only do they get a dog who 356 00:13:13,990 --> 00:13:15,909 is, like you say, devoted to them and 357 00:13:15,909 --> 00:13:16,970 behaving beautifully, 358 00:13:17,429 --> 00:13:19,544 but they have had a chance to have 359 00:13:19,544 --> 00:13:20,524 their own transformation. 360 00:13:20,985 --> 00:13:23,784 In this woman's situation, it was, oh, I 361 00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:26,424 overcame self doubt, or, oh, I overcame my 362 00:13:26,424 --> 00:13:28,504 belief that if you are a professional, you're 363 00:13:28,504 --> 00:13:30,264 right and I'm not, or I ignore my 364 00:13:30,264 --> 00:13:32,764 own boundaries because you're the quote, unquote professional. 365 00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:35,250 So she got to overcome that, Plus get 366 00:13:35,250 --> 00:13:36,850 a dog who is now well behaved and 367 00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,009 devoted to her. Now a dog who is 368 00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:41,009 the best version of herself. And that's the 369 00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:43,090 other thing. I think that half in half, 370 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,930 when, when we all come to do the 371 00:13:44,930 --> 00:13:45,430 process, 372 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:47,730 you are not trying to make us all 373 00:13:47,730 --> 00:13:50,284 one size fits all, right? You're not trying 374 00:13:50,284 --> 00:13:52,044 to make us all behave the same way. 375 00:13:52,044 --> 00:13:54,544 What the Hafun process is profoundly 376 00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:55,985 effective 377 00:13:56,605 --> 00:13:58,704 is helping each one of us 378 00:13:59,164 --> 00:14:01,105 to become the best version of ourselves. 379 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,100 Right? 380 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,340 And that is what I'm doing with dogs. 381 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,080 I am helping each dog become the best 382 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,379 version of themselves, 383 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,500 not one size fits all. 384 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,259 And I'm really 385 00:14:15,649 --> 00:14:18,345 my goal, and that's what my service in 386 00:14:18,345 --> 00:14:19,485 this world is 387 00:14:20,024 --> 00:14:23,865 for people to start looking at dogs and 388 00:14:23,865 --> 00:14:25,085 understanding them 389 00:14:26,264 --> 00:14:27,725 the way we 390 00:14:28,809 --> 00:14:31,450 should understand each other. And the reason why 391 00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:33,790 is is because not only scientifically 392 00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:34,830 we know 393 00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:38,990 that dog pros dogs process process information 394 00:14:39,450 --> 00:14:42,090 cognitively and emotionally the way people or the 395 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,389 way toddlers do. 396 00:14:43,754 --> 00:14:46,174 So they're really more like us than, than 397 00:14:46,235 --> 00:14:48,014 we realize and that's scientifically. 398 00:14:50,154 --> 00:14:51,455 But it's also, 399 00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:54,575 you know, we all live in a society 400 00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:58,154 where everybody have, we, I call it the 401 00:14:58,154 --> 00:15:00,870 normal paradox. We all think that our way 402 00:15:00,870 --> 00:15:02,789 of beliefs, this is the normal, this is 403 00:15:02,789 --> 00:15:04,730 the normal way. This is the right way. 404 00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:07,450 And everybody who is different is the other. 405 00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:12,470 And I feel that it's much easier to 406 00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:16,084 forgive dogs for behavior or beliefs 407 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:19,024 than to forgive another person. And therefore, I 408 00:15:19,024 --> 00:15:20,004 look at dogs 409 00:15:20,384 --> 00:15:22,404 as our training wheels. Meaning, 410 00:15:22,865 --> 00:15:25,504 dogs come from a different culture. In their 411 00:15:25,504 --> 00:15:26,004 culture, 412 00:15:26,704 --> 00:15:29,524 when you meet somebody, you jump on them. 413 00:15:29,799 --> 00:15:30,299 Right? 414 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,740 In our society, 415 00:15:32,519 --> 00:15:34,360 we do not believe the dog should jump 416 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,019 on us. 417 00:15:35,559 --> 00:15:36,059 So 418 00:15:36,679 --> 00:15:39,080 here is a dog come from one culture. 419 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,879 Should we make them wrong from coming from 420 00:15:41,879 --> 00:15:44,059 that culture? Or should we kindly, 421 00:15:45,504 --> 00:15:46,004 compassionately 422 00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,084 teach them 423 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:50,404 how does it work in our culture? 424 00:15:50,705 --> 00:15:52,865 You know, I'm from Israel, obviously. I'm a 425 00:15:52,865 --> 00:15:55,024 foreigner here. And when I first came here 426 00:15:55,024 --> 00:15:57,684 and I start making started making friends, 427 00:15:58,419 --> 00:16:00,980 I remember the first shopping spree that I 428 00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:03,160 went with bunch of new girlfriends. 429 00:16:03,779 --> 00:16:05,620 And we went to the store and everybody 430 00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:07,940 was trying clothes on. And one of the 431 00:16:07,940 --> 00:16:09,559 girlfriends came out and 432 00:16:10,019 --> 00:16:12,580 asked everybody, does this outfit make me look 433 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:13,080 fat? 434 00:16:13,445 --> 00:16:15,365 And everybody said, no. No. No. And when 435 00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,144 she came to me, I said, yes. 436 00:16:17,924 --> 00:16:19,945 Because it made her look fat. 437 00:16:20,325 --> 00:16:22,164 And everybody agreed it made her look fat, 438 00:16:22,164 --> 00:16:24,245 but everybody said, no. No. No. And everybody 439 00:16:24,245 --> 00:16:26,345 start giggling because they're all uncomfortable. 440 00:16:26,725 --> 00:16:28,884 And I realized that I made a faux 441 00:16:28,884 --> 00:16:29,340 pas. 442 00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:32,160 But, again, in my culture in Israel, 443 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,639 we are known for our directness. 444 00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:36,879 Mhmm. Mhmm. 445 00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:38,879 Don't I know that? Right? 446 00:16:39,180 --> 00:16:40,860 I happen to know that as well. Yeah. 447 00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:43,040 Right? So this is our culture. 448 00:16:43,575 --> 00:16:45,894 So I'm coming to an American culture where 449 00:16:45,894 --> 00:16:48,295 being direct is a no no. So now 450 00:16:48,295 --> 00:16:50,855 what do I do? And I was experiencing 451 00:16:50,855 --> 00:16:52,554 a lot of stress at that moment. 452 00:16:53,335 --> 00:16:55,754 I was ashamed. I was embarrassed. I experienced 453 00:16:55,894 --> 00:16:57,595 fear because I was like, 454 00:16:58,029 --> 00:16:59,870 boy, what do I do? So if I 455 00:16:59,870 --> 00:17:01,629 won't have friends, that means I have to 456 00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:04,369 become a liar? I cannot be a liar. 457 00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,269 So does it mean I'm gonna have to 458 00:17:06,269 --> 00:17:07,890 be lonely with no friends? 459 00:17:08,750 --> 00:17:10,404 You know, maybe I have to not stay 460 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,085 in United States, but I love my work 461 00:17:12,085 --> 00:17:14,244 with the dogs. What you understand? It's like 462 00:17:14,244 --> 00:17:15,144 you go into, 463 00:17:15,845 --> 00:17:18,404 you know, a whole vicious cycle. Well, actually, 464 00:17:18,404 --> 00:17:20,085 where I went in that, it's funny. You 465 00:17:20,085 --> 00:17:21,924 you you went into yourself, oh my goodness. 466 00:17:21,924 --> 00:17:23,444 I got stressed. I got ashamed. I got 467 00:17:23,444 --> 00:17:23,944 fearful, 468 00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:27,130 which I completely understand. But where I went 469 00:17:27,349 --> 00:17:27,849 was 470 00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:30,410 that the other people, the friends, 471 00:17:30,789 --> 00:17:32,410 if only they had had dogs 472 00:17:33,029 --> 00:17:35,670 as their training wheels, right, they would have 473 00:17:35,670 --> 00:17:37,585 known not to make you wrong. They would 474 00:17:37,585 --> 00:17:40,384 have known, oh, that's a different culture or 475 00:17:40,384 --> 00:17:42,144 that's a different way of being. It's not 476 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,785 wrong. It's just different. Like you said, through 477 00:17:44,785 --> 00:17:46,545 our work with dogs, we get to work 478 00:17:46,545 --> 00:17:47,924 on this compassionate, 479 00:17:48,625 --> 00:17:50,644 understanding, apathetic, open mindedness. 480 00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:53,759 Right. You've kind of rocked my world with 481 00:17:53,759 --> 00:17:55,519 that because I don't use, you know, I'm, 482 00:17:55,519 --> 00:17:58,240 I'm very people oriented, but to imagine, and 483 00:17:58,240 --> 00:17:59,839 then I think of my relationship with my 484 00:17:59,839 --> 00:18:01,920 dog and sometimes I get so mad. And 485 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,759 if I was to actually look what happened 486 00:18:03,759 --> 00:18:06,384 there, it is a total power struggle. It's 487 00:18:06,384 --> 00:18:08,384 that, well, he's not listening to me. And 488 00:18:08,384 --> 00:18:10,545 this baby, this child of mine comes out, 489 00:18:10,545 --> 00:18:12,144 like, why aren't you listening to me? I 490 00:18:12,144 --> 00:18:13,125 feel so invisible. 491 00:18:13,505 --> 00:18:14,484 That's on me. 492 00:18:14,944 --> 00:18:17,345 That is well, that is so beautiful what 493 00:18:17,345 --> 00:18:19,105 you just said and what the dog is 494 00:18:19,105 --> 00:18:20,964 trying to communicate to you 495 00:18:21,589 --> 00:18:24,070 is, can you please do a quadrini check 496 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:26,549 on me? Because I'm trying to communicate with 497 00:18:26,549 --> 00:18:28,009 you where I can't. 498 00:18:28,789 --> 00:18:31,210 Can you please try to understand 499 00:18:31,589 --> 00:18:33,769 what I need right now? 500 00:18:34,384 --> 00:18:36,784 Do I need you to touch me more, 501 00:18:36,784 --> 00:18:38,384 or do I need you not to touch 502 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:42,484 me? Do I need you to comfort me? 503 00:18:42,865 --> 00:18:45,024 Do I need you you you understand? So 504 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,240 it's kinda like you really gonna do a 505 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:50,859 quadrinity check intellectually, emotionally, physically with them, 506 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,460 and and to see what is the need 507 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,919 and and try to find a way to 508 00:18:56,919 --> 00:19:00,359 teach them how to meet that need, that 509 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:00,859 ask 510 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,255 in a way that fits in a human 511 00:19:04,255 --> 00:19:04,755 culture, 512 00:19:05,134 --> 00:19:07,535 which is a different way of meeting that 513 00:19:07,535 --> 00:19:10,115 need or that ask in a doggy culture. 514 00:19:11,134 --> 00:19:12,914 And I feel that as a world, 515 00:19:13,535 --> 00:19:16,735 if we can learn how not to blame 516 00:19:16,735 --> 00:19:19,349 the dog, the most common way people blame 517 00:19:19,349 --> 00:19:21,269 the dog, which they learn is I'm again, 518 00:19:21,269 --> 00:19:23,430 I'm not blaming people because they have learned 519 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,730 it by watching TV 520 00:19:25,109 --> 00:19:26,650 and hearing it for decades 521 00:19:27,190 --> 00:19:29,609 is they call the dog stubborn, 522 00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:30,570 stupid, 523 00:19:31,015 --> 00:19:31,755 or dominant. 524 00:19:32,294 --> 00:19:33,914 I call it the SSD 525 00:19:34,535 --> 00:19:35,035 disease 526 00:19:35,815 --> 00:19:36,794 that people 527 00:19:37,335 --> 00:19:38,634 have been hypnotized 528 00:19:39,255 --> 00:19:40,234 into believing 529 00:19:41,095 --> 00:19:41,595 about 530 00:19:42,054 --> 00:19:42,794 the precious 531 00:19:43,335 --> 00:19:43,835 angels, 532 00:19:44,294 --> 00:19:45,115 their dogs, 533 00:19:45,690 --> 00:19:46,829 which is wrong. 534 00:19:47,609 --> 00:19:50,089 And it's wrong to think that your dog 535 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:53,149 wanna dominate you, that the dog wants to 536 00:19:53,369 --> 00:19:55,130 you need to be the master, they need 537 00:19:55,130 --> 00:19:57,389 to be submissive, they need to be obedient. 538 00:19:57,849 --> 00:19:58,349 No. 539 00:19:58,934 --> 00:20:01,414 The purpose of dogs in our life from 540 00:20:01,414 --> 00:20:02,554 my point of view 541 00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:04,474 is to help us 542 00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:06,875 become the best version of ourselves 543 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,434 by us helping them 544 00:20:10,134 --> 00:20:11,994 become the best version of themselves. 545 00:20:13,430 --> 00:20:15,670 It's, very difficult for me not to apply 546 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:17,430 this to people in general because, 547 00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:21,190 even what you just said, not to blame 548 00:20:21,190 --> 00:20:22,009 dogs. Well, 549 00:20:22,549 --> 00:20:24,630 I mean, how often do we blame others 550 00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:26,730 in general instead of look at ourselves, 551 00:20:27,454 --> 00:20:29,535 instead of look at the opportunity, instead of 552 00:20:29,535 --> 00:20:31,375 look and like you to use your term, 553 00:20:31,375 --> 00:20:33,295 this is my training wheel. Something's up for 554 00:20:33,295 --> 00:20:35,474 me here. I need to learn about it. 555 00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:36,755 That's exactly right. 556 00:20:37,134 --> 00:20:38,755 And instead of looking, 557 00:20:39,134 --> 00:20:41,295 you are blah blah. You are dominant. You're 558 00:20:41,295 --> 00:20:44,460 stubborn. You're stupid to say, wait a minute. 559 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,859 First of all, let me calm myself down. 560 00:20:46,859 --> 00:20:48,880 Let me breathe and let me smile. 561 00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:51,580 Even if it's the most fake smile, as 562 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:53,680 you know, it calm the nervous system down. 563 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:56,460 So the first thing, if the dog is 564 00:20:56,460 --> 00:20:56,960 triggered, 565 00:20:57,365 --> 00:20:59,684 if the child is triggered and the parent 566 00:20:59,684 --> 00:21:00,345 is triggered, 567 00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:02,505 it's just not gonna go anywhere. 568 00:21:03,045 --> 00:21:05,305 So we as the paw rents 569 00:21:06,085 --> 00:21:06,984 to the dog, 570 00:21:07,845 --> 00:21:10,490 p a w, rents. I was just gonna 571 00:21:10,490 --> 00:21:13,450 spell paw, p a w, paw rinse. Paw 572 00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:14,669 rinse to the dog. 573 00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:18,750 We first have to calm ourself down 574 00:21:19,129 --> 00:21:21,210 because we are both, us and the dog, 575 00:21:21,210 --> 00:21:22,669 have a trigger nervous system. 576 00:21:23,585 --> 00:21:25,105 So one of the thing that I'm doing 577 00:21:25,105 --> 00:21:26,705 in my method, that is the first thing 578 00:21:26,705 --> 00:21:29,045 that I teach every dog and every parent 579 00:21:29,825 --> 00:21:32,545 is how to manage ourselves when we are 580 00:21:32,545 --> 00:21:33,045 triggered 581 00:21:34,144 --> 00:21:36,884 and how to physically how to literally 582 00:21:37,799 --> 00:21:40,220 take steps to calm the nervous system down. 583 00:21:40,919 --> 00:21:44,279 So I just walked with a celebrity client 584 00:21:44,279 --> 00:21:45,259 and her dog, 585 00:21:45,639 --> 00:21:47,880 and she cannot afford her dog to be 586 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:50,940 aggressive because she's very famous. People know her. 587 00:21:51,914 --> 00:21:53,835 And the dog is very aggressive when he's 588 00:21:53,835 --> 00:21:54,575 on a walk. 589 00:21:55,034 --> 00:21:55,534 And 590 00:21:56,154 --> 00:21:58,575 I showed her how I literally 591 00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:01,534 sing to the dog. I taught him before. 592 00:22:02,554 --> 00:22:03,934 I teach a behavior 593 00:22:04,474 --> 00:22:07,400 where I teach a dog how to manage 594 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:08,539 the impulse control, 595 00:22:09,079 --> 00:22:11,480 and I use words that I sing it 596 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:12,140 to them. 597 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,039 So she and I went for a walk, 598 00:22:14,039 --> 00:22:16,279 and we saw not one, but six dogs 599 00:22:16,279 --> 00:22:18,359 being walked at the same time by one 600 00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:18,859 person. 601 00:22:19,315 --> 00:22:22,275 And those those six dogs went crazy when 602 00:22:22,275 --> 00:22:24,375 they saw us with our one dog. 603 00:22:24,755 --> 00:22:27,234 It was a chaos over there. And instead 604 00:22:27,234 --> 00:22:29,815 of me telling the dog, no. Down. 605 00:22:30,195 --> 00:22:32,994 You know, which the dogs already was triggered, 606 00:22:32,994 --> 00:22:33,815 our dog. 607 00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,779 I immediately start singing to him. 608 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:39,899 Ignore it. Ignore 609 00:22:40,519 --> 00:22:41,740 it. Ignore 610 00:22:42,519 --> 00:22:43,019 it. 611 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,339 And the dog, she was 612 00:22:46,039 --> 00:22:48,464 blown away to see how the dog was 613 00:22:48,704 --> 00:22:50,005 able to connect 614 00:22:50,784 --> 00:22:52,484 to what that song meant, 615 00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:54,565 which was, oh, 616 00:22:54,865 --> 00:22:57,984 I can ignore what's triggering me and connect 617 00:22:57,984 --> 00:22:59,204 with you instead, 618 00:22:59,904 --> 00:23:02,224 which is kinda like what you teach us 619 00:23:02,224 --> 00:23:02,884 in Hoffman. 620 00:23:04,109 --> 00:23:06,190 Do you know how when the dark side 621 00:23:06,190 --> 00:23:07,950 trying to run the show, how to connect 622 00:23:07,950 --> 00:23:09,170 to spirit? Right? 623 00:23:09,630 --> 00:23:10,450 We are 624 00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:13,009 that spirit to our dogs. 625 00:23:14,750 --> 00:23:17,730 And spirit does not come and chastise us. 626 00:23:18,214 --> 00:23:19,755 Spirit comforts us. 627 00:23:21,015 --> 00:23:22,615 So that is what I'm doing for the 628 00:23:22,615 --> 00:23:25,255 dog, and and she was blown away to 629 00:23:25,255 --> 00:23:26,775 see that now. Does it take a lot 630 00:23:26,775 --> 00:23:27,515 of discipline 631 00:23:28,134 --> 00:23:30,134 to get ourself in a place where we 632 00:23:30,134 --> 00:23:31,035 are not reacting? 633 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,500 And would I suggest to go 634 00:23:33,799 --> 00:23:35,320 for the first time where you might run 635 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:36,860 into six dogs? No. 636 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,720 Could also do it in stages. When I 637 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,960 teach dogs, I teach them. I give the 638 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,380 example, like learning how to drive a car. 639 00:23:44,794 --> 00:23:46,394 If somebody gonna pee to you on the 640 00:23:46,394 --> 00:23:48,714 freeway in your first lesson, you're gonna freak 641 00:23:48,714 --> 00:23:49,214 out. 642 00:23:49,755 --> 00:23:51,755 But if I'm gonna put you in an 643 00:23:51,755 --> 00:23:53,674 empty parking lot, then you're gonna be able 644 00:23:53,674 --> 00:23:54,894 to learn to hone 645 00:23:55,755 --> 00:23:56,654 those skills. 646 00:23:57,034 --> 00:23:59,034 And then little by little, you move you 647 00:23:59,034 --> 00:23:59,534 up 648 00:23:59,899 --> 00:24:02,299 to a quiet street, busy street, all the 649 00:24:02,299 --> 00:24:03,359 way to the freeway. 650 00:24:03,819 --> 00:24:06,539 So that was the equivalent of the freeway 651 00:24:06,539 --> 00:24:07,839 with the dog. And, unfortunately, 652 00:24:08,539 --> 00:24:11,200 for dogs and their parents and their people, 653 00:24:11,944 --> 00:24:14,825 they're not being taught life skills. They're taught 654 00:24:14,825 --> 00:24:15,325 obedience. 655 00:24:16,505 --> 00:24:18,285 You see? And I feel in the world, 656 00:24:18,345 --> 00:24:20,664 we as humans taught obedience. And when we 657 00:24:20,664 --> 00:24:23,005 come to Hoffman, we are taught life skills. 658 00:24:24,279 --> 00:24:26,359 So many amazing parallels. I would have never 659 00:24:26,359 --> 00:24:28,440 thought I would make these parallels with dogs. 660 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,019 I'm I, I have to say, I'm I'm, 661 00:24:31,799 --> 00:24:33,640 I'm so just, I have a big smile 662 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,319 on my face to imagine that I'm making 663 00:24:35,319 --> 00:24:37,079 these parallels with dogs when I work with 664 00:24:37,079 --> 00:24:38,325 humans so much. But, 665 00:24:38,724 --> 00:24:41,204 I'm also struck by the symbiotic nature of 666 00:24:41,204 --> 00:24:43,444 this. You keep saying things like dogs are 667 00:24:43,444 --> 00:24:45,204 here to teach us. Dogs are here as 668 00:24:45,204 --> 00:24:47,924 messengers. Dogs are our training wheels. You know, 669 00:24:47,924 --> 00:24:49,365 I you know, we often say in the 670 00:24:49,365 --> 00:24:51,845 process, never pass up a good pattern. That's 671 00:24:51,845 --> 00:24:52,744 a learning moment. 672 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:53,559 And, 673 00:24:54,039 --> 00:24:56,279 so not only are we here to bring 674 00:24:56,279 --> 00:24:58,039 out the best version of the dog, the 675 00:24:58,039 --> 00:24:59,480 dog is here to bring out the best 676 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,119 version of us. We get to grow as 677 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:02,619 humans 678 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,779 in partnership with this dog. 679 00:25:05,795 --> 00:25:09,414 That's amazing. A 100%. I mean, I absolutely 680 00:25:09,875 --> 00:25:11,634 god. I feel that everybody needs to do 681 00:25:11,634 --> 00:25:13,954 the Hafun process as the first thing on 682 00:25:13,954 --> 00:25:16,914 their personal growth. I always equate the Hafun 683 00:25:16,914 --> 00:25:18,454 process as like the soil 684 00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:20,660 that if you do not have a fertile 685 00:25:20,660 --> 00:25:23,059 soil, it doesn't matter what you put into 686 00:25:23,059 --> 00:25:25,140 it because it's just not gonna grow to 687 00:25:25,140 --> 00:25:26,119 its full potential. 688 00:25:26,580 --> 00:25:28,420 And I look at the Hafun process as 689 00:25:28,420 --> 00:25:30,119 a fertile soil. And 690 00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:33,105 so one of the, again, from the many, 691 00:25:33,105 --> 00:25:34,625 many things that I got from the Hafun 692 00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:35,125 process 693 00:25:35,744 --> 00:25:37,585 is I I believe you call it the 694 00:25:37,585 --> 00:25:38,085 transference 695 00:25:39,265 --> 00:25:41,684 where, you know, when we tell to somebody, 696 00:25:42,144 --> 00:25:44,805 I had a negative reaction to you 697 00:25:45,345 --> 00:25:47,605 and and and you said the person's name 698 00:25:47,980 --> 00:25:50,480 at that time and to say I experienced 699 00:25:50,619 --> 00:25:53,019 you as, you know, whatever. So I'm telling 700 00:25:53,019 --> 00:25:53,519 people, 701 00:25:53,980 --> 00:25:55,679 so can you do it where 702 00:25:56,059 --> 00:25:58,240 you tell your dog, I experienced 703 00:25:58,619 --> 00:26:01,419 you, Oliver. That's my dog's name, my golden 704 00:26:01,419 --> 00:26:01,919 retriever. 705 00:26:02,595 --> 00:26:04,535 I experienced you, Oliver, 706 00:26:05,315 --> 00:26:05,634 as, 707 00:26:06,755 --> 00:26:07,575 as distant, 708 00:26:08,355 --> 00:26:08,674 as, 709 00:26:09,714 --> 00:26:11,095 you know, not caring 710 00:26:12,035 --> 00:26:13,875 when he doesn't come to me when I'm 711 00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:15,794 calling him, which with my dog, it doesn't 712 00:26:15,794 --> 00:26:18,000 happen. But I'm just giving an example. You're 713 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,599 in the dog park and you call your 714 00:26:19,599 --> 00:26:23,039 dog and your dog stops stops playing, looking 715 00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:23,700 at you 716 00:26:24,319 --> 00:26:24,960 and, like, 717 00:26:25,599 --> 00:26:27,599 push the ignore button. I'm not call I'm 718 00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:30,305 not answering that call. Yes. Most people lose 719 00:26:30,305 --> 00:26:32,244 their mind. Most people become angry. 720 00:26:32,785 --> 00:26:34,945 Now if you got why they're angry, they're 721 00:26:34,945 --> 00:26:36,705 not angry because they didn't come to them. 722 00:26:36,705 --> 00:26:39,984 All these myriad of emotions coming in, which 723 00:26:39,984 --> 00:26:42,065 is you don't respect me, you don't care 724 00:26:42,065 --> 00:26:44,429 about me, all of that. And that is 725 00:26:44,429 --> 00:26:47,069 the pattern that is the opportunity to take 726 00:26:47,069 --> 00:26:48,049 a look at. Right? 727 00:26:48,509 --> 00:26:50,829 Yes. People, this is amazing. I don't know 728 00:26:50,829 --> 00:26:53,149 how many listeners have dogs and how many 729 00:26:53,149 --> 00:26:54,990 listeners are graduates. But for those of you 730 00:26:54,990 --> 00:26:56,609 who have both dogs and are graduates, 731 00:26:57,025 --> 00:26:59,424 what she's telling us here is that our 732 00:26:59,424 --> 00:27:00,484 dogs are these, 733 00:27:01,664 --> 00:27:04,865 wells of learning moments of, woah, there's a 734 00:27:04,865 --> 00:27:07,025 pattern. Write that pattern down and work on 735 00:27:07,025 --> 00:27:09,265 it. They get to reflect back to us 736 00:27:09,265 --> 00:27:11,924 how we can become better people by identifying 737 00:27:12,065 --> 00:27:12,724 our patterns. 738 00:27:13,079 --> 00:27:15,259 I love that you literally brought in transference 739 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:18,440 into your relationship with the dog. That is 740 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:19,880 incredible because what do you get out of 741 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,919 the transference? You get more patterns. You get 742 00:27:22,919 --> 00:27:25,480 more awareness as the human, as the par 743 00:27:25,559 --> 00:27:26,059 parent. 744 00:27:26,554 --> 00:27:28,634 You get some more clarity on what you 745 00:27:28,634 --> 00:27:31,035 need to work on. What a gift. And 746 00:27:31,035 --> 00:27:33,134 then you go into your relationship with humans 747 00:27:34,154 --> 00:27:36,714 with a little bit more healing that already 748 00:27:36,714 --> 00:27:37,454 took place. 749 00:27:38,650 --> 00:27:40,809 You know? Because I think with people, people 750 00:27:40,809 --> 00:27:43,930 play games. We don't really we don't always 751 00:27:43,930 --> 00:27:46,509 know the true intention of people. Right? 752 00:27:46,970 --> 00:27:49,150 But with dogs, dogs don't play games. 753 00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:52,454 Dog don't play games. So if they are 754 00:27:52,454 --> 00:27:54,454 not doing something that you want them to 755 00:27:54,454 --> 00:27:56,295 do or if they're doing something that you 756 00:27:56,295 --> 00:27:57,974 would like them to stop, first need to 757 00:27:57,974 --> 00:28:00,295 do a quadrini to check-in a way to 758 00:28:00,295 --> 00:28:02,454 find out what is the ask and then 759 00:28:02,454 --> 00:28:05,095 to see what am I not giving to 760 00:28:05,095 --> 00:28:07,220 the relationship. So you really have to do 761 00:28:07,220 --> 00:28:08,440 as the grown up 762 00:28:09,139 --> 00:28:11,299 to show up. And particularly this time more 763 00:28:11,299 --> 00:28:14,359 than ever in in in in our history, 764 00:28:14,419 --> 00:28:15,399 our current history, 765 00:28:16,019 --> 00:28:17,960 we really need to build connection 766 00:28:18,585 --> 00:28:19,325 and community. 767 00:28:19,944 --> 00:28:21,944 And the first place to build connection and 768 00:28:21,944 --> 00:28:24,044 community is with our beloved dogs. 769 00:28:24,505 --> 00:28:25,005 Yeah. 770 00:28:26,505 --> 00:28:27,484 Wow. Okay. 771 00:28:27,865 --> 00:28:30,125 Tamar, this is this is so powerful. 772 00:28:30,585 --> 00:28:32,585 So many good things. We're coming to the 773 00:28:32,585 --> 00:28:34,789 end of our time together. But from the 774 00:28:34,789 --> 00:28:35,289 beginning, 775 00:28:35,990 --> 00:28:36,730 with you 776 00:28:37,349 --> 00:28:40,150 talking about the spirit led life and how 777 00:28:40,150 --> 00:28:42,650 it was already happening and when it happened, 778 00:28:43,269 --> 00:28:44,950 so many doors opened. It sounded like it 779 00:28:44,950 --> 00:28:47,109 was this buttery experience for you where it's 780 00:28:47,109 --> 00:28:49,404 like door after door after door was opening 781 00:28:49,404 --> 00:28:50,464 because you surrendered. 782 00:28:50,765 --> 00:28:52,845 And then to hear about your commitment that 783 00:28:52,845 --> 00:28:53,984 every single day 784 00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:56,704 you do the work to surrender to spirit. 785 00:28:56,845 --> 00:28:58,684 That's important for us to know also. This 786 00:28:58,684 --> 00:29:00,285 isn't like you arrive and then you just 787 00:29:00,285 --> 00:29:02,384 sit back. You arrive and you maintain. 788 00:29:03,329 --> 00:29:05,329 No. Life every day is still you know, 789 00:29:05,329 --> 00:29:06,390 it's not easy. 790 00:29:07,089 --> 00:29:08,869 It's not easy. I'm definitely 791 00:29:09,329 --> 00:29:12,130 not experiencing easy life, but I'm feeling a 792 00:29:12,130 --> 00:29:14,069 purpose filled life. Yes. 793 00:29:14,369 --> 00:29:16,210 And then you've inspired us to think about 794 00:29:16,210 --> 00:29:18,609 our relationships with our animals, with our loved 795 00:29:18,609 --> 00:29:20,595 ones, and include dogs in, 796 00:29:21,214 --> 00:29:24,255 the equation as we continue to grow as 797 00:29:24,255 --> 00:29:26,035 humans. It's that's an incredibly 798 00:29:26,575 --> 00:29:28,414 that's such a new concept for me. I 799 00:29:28,414 --> 00:29:30,335 I love it. And I'm a dog owner. 800 00:29:30,335 --> 00:29:33,134 So so You're not a dog owner? Oh, 801 00:29:33,134 --> 00:29:34,970 I'm getting called out. This is good. I 802 00:29:34,970 --> 00:29:38,590 am a dog partner. I am Porrent. Pawrent. 803 00:29:38,730 --> 00:29:40,890 Of course. I am a dog. Parenting the 804 00:29:40,890 --> 00:29:42,910 dog. You're raising the dog. You do not 805 00:29:43,049 --> 00:29:43,549 own. 806 00:29:44,009 --> 00:29:45,930 I know. How who where did that come 807 00:29:45,930 --> 00:29:48,075 from? You're absolutely right. I take it back. 808 00:29:48,234 --> 00:29:49,134 I am a dog 809 00:29:49,514 --> 00:29:51,694 parent. Those who are dog owners, 810 00:29:52,315 --> 00:29:54,474 I do not think that they are part 811 00:29:54,474 --> 00:29:56,154 of the way we view the world. You 812 00:29:56,154 --> 00:29:59,034 know? Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right. And 813 00:29:59,034 --> 00:30:00,474 I I have to admit, I have not 814 00:30:00,474 --> 00:30:00,974 used 815 00:30:01,674 --> 00:30:03,615 my relationship with my dog 816 00:30:04,210 --> 00:30:06,769 as, an awareness tool for what patterns I 817 00:30:06,769 --> 00:30:09,009 need to work on. And you just invited 818 00:30:09,009 --> 00:30:10,529 me to do that, and I'm giving you 819 00:30:10,529 --> 00:30:12,289 my word. I'm going to do that. Yeah. 820 00:30:12,289 --> 00:30:14,210 I feel very inspired. What kind of dog 821 00:30:14,210 --> 00:30:16,549 do you have? We all wanna know. Chiuini, 822 00:30:16,850 --> 00:30:19,335 I think. It was, we we we saved 823 00:30:19,414 --> 00:30:21,894 him from the fire. He's seven pounds. He's 824 00:30:21,894 --> 00:30:23,815 really cute. And I have to admit, I 825 00:30:23,815 --> 00:30:25,974 was not raised with animals. I you said 826 00:30:25,974 --> 00:30:27,654 I wasn't a dog lover. I was a 827 00:30:27,654 --> 00:30:28,474 dog liker. 828 00:30:29,015 --> 00:30:30,375 I don't even know I was a dog 829 00:30:30,375 --> 00:30:33,515 liker. I'm a people lover. I love people. 830 00:30:33,575 --> 00:30:34,315 You are. 831 00:30:34,799 --> 00:30:35,279 And, 832 00:30:35,599 --> 00:30:37,759 so to think that the dog is a 833 00:30:37,759 --> 00:30:38,259 ticket 834 00:30:38,639 --> 00:30:40,880 to, to, to is a, is a avenue 835 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,539 to deeper relationship with myself and with people 836 00:30:43,679 --> 00:30:45,599 and that they are here to serve in 837 00:30:45,599 --> 00:30:47,119 that way. And I'm here to serve them. 838 00:30:47,119 --> 00:30:49,045 What, what a beautiful way to, what a 839 00:30:49,045 --> 00:30:51,045 beautiful way to strengthen a relationship with a 840 00:30:51,045 --> 00:30:53,285 dog. We need to think spirit for that. 841 00:30:53,285 --> 00:30:54,825 Right? Yes. Absolutely. 842 00:30:55,285 --> 00:30:56,884 This dog was certainly brought to me. It 843 00:30:56,884 --> 00:30:59,865 was spirit led. That's for sure. Wow. Anyway, 844 00:31:00,404 --> 00:31:00,904 so 845 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,319 I I just wanna say thank you. You're 846 00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:05,179 so passionate. And so 847 00:31:05,799 --> 00:31:07,559 that's exactly the words I would have used 848 00:31:07,559 --> 00:31:09,319 to is I'm in the presence of somebody 849 00:31:09,319 --> 00:31:10,940 who is living out their purpose 850 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,299 a 100%. 851 00:31:12,599 --> 00:31:14,539 It is palpable. It is inspirational. 852 00:31:15,184 --> 00:31:16,785 Thank you for sharing it with us. Thank 853 00:31:16,785 --> 00:31:18,785 you for giving us this time. Thank you 854 00:31:18,785 --> 00:31:21,904 for impacting so many people by honoring your 855 00:31:21,904 --> 00:31:23,904 spirit and honoring your work in the world. 856 00:31:23,904 --> 00:31:26,544 Well, thank you for having me on. I 857 00:31:26,544 --> 00:31:29,505 mean, to be on the Hoffman podcast is 858 00:31:29,505 --> 00:31:30,964 such an honor for me. 859 00:31:31,420 --> 00:31:34,779 That is very nourishing to my soul. So 860 00:31:34,779 --> 00:31:36,559 thank you, and thank you for the opportunity 861 00:31:36,859 --> 00:31:37,599 to share, 862 00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:39,279 you know, 863 00:31:39,660 --> 00:31:42,700 my life, my heart, my soul with other 864 00:31:42,700 --> 00:31:43,920 people. That is 865 00:31:44,295 --> 00:31:47,095 the greatest gift, the greatest honor. Thank you, 866 00:31:47,095 --> 00:31:47,595 Sharon. 867 00:31:48,055 --> 00:31:48,555 Beautiful. 868 00:31:48,855 --> 00:31:50,295 Thank you, Tamar. And, 869 00:31:50,695 --> 00:31:53,275 obviously, we'll have contact information and 870 00:31:53,654 --> 00:31:56,154 tune in and and, listen into other inspirational 871 00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:57,275 people in the upcoming 872 00:31:57,660 --> 00:31:59,820 episodes. Tamar, thank you so much for being 873 00:31:59,820 --> 00:32:01,119 here today. Thank you, honey. 874 00:32:10,734 --> 00:32:12,815 Thank you for listening to our podcast. My 875 00:32:12,815 --> 00:32:15,134 name is Liza Ingrassi. I'm the CEO and 876 00:32:15,134 --> 00:32:17,315 president of Hoffman Institute Foundation. 877 00:32:17,774 --> 00:32:19,075 And I'm Razi Ingrassi, 878 00:32:19,774 --> 00:32:22,755 Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute 879 00:32:22,815 --> 00:32:23,315 Foundation. 880 00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:26,839 Our mission is to provide people greater access 881 00:32:26,839 --> 00:32:29,240 to the wisdom and power of love. In 882 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:31,740 themselves, in each other, and in the world. 883 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,740 To find out more, please go to hanppaninstitute.org.