1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:02,740 As you do this work, 2 00:00:03,439 --> 00:00:06,719 that's why that relationship internally with yourself is 3 00:00:06,719 --> 00:00:07,219 crucial 4 00:00:07,759 --> 00:00:09,380 because you're all you got. 5 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,164 Hello, and welcome to Love's Everyday Radius, a 6 00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:16,824 podcast brought to you by the Hoffman Institute. 7 00:00:17,045 --> 00:00:18,964 My name is Sadie Hanna, and in this 8 00:00:18,964 --> 00:00:22,644 podcast, you'll hear real conversations and stories with 9 00:00:22,644 --> 00:00:25,845 graduates about their courageous journey inward and how 10 00:00:25,845 --> 00:00:28,519 their love and light are living in the 11 00:00:28,519 --> 00:00:31,179 world around them. Love's everyday radius. 12 00:00:31,559 --> 00:00:33,260 Thank you for being here and welcome. 13 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:42,344 Hey everyone, and welcome. I'm here with Brian 14 00:00:42,344 --> 00:00:46,024 Daly, who is a Hoffman Process graduate. He's 15 00:00:46,024 --> 00:00:47,405 also someone who 16 00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:49,565 has really had his 17 00:00:50,185 --> 00:00:52,524 roots in the ground of transformation. 18 00:00:52,984 --> 00:00:55,560 And so I've been looking forward to speaking 19 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,579 with you, Brian. Thank you for being here. 20 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,980 Thanks, Sadie. I'm so glad to be here. 21 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:00,700 It's, 22 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,520 touches me to be asked to come and 23 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:07,020 do this. Yeah. And as we were 24 00:01:07,625 --> 00:01:11,004 speaking about your episode and this conversation, 25 00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:14,105 one of the things that we began with 26 00:01:14,105 --> 00:01:16,185 is what do you do in the world, 27 00:01:16,185 --> 00:01:18,344 but also like, who are you? And those 28 00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:19,885 are very separate things. 29 00:01:20,265 --> 00:01:22,604 So before we go into what you're doing 30 00:01:23,049 --> 00:01:24,510 in life and in the world, 31 00:01:24,969 --> 00:01:26,890 tell us a bit about who you know 32 00:01:26,890 --> 00:01:29,390 yourself to be as you sit here today. 33 00:01:29,769 --> 00:01:32,329 Yeah, that was the funny part is I 34 00:01:32,329 --> 00:01:34,969 love now when people say, what do you 35 00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:35,469 do? 36 00:01:36,015 --> 00:01:37,234 That was very important, 37 00:01:37,694 --> 00:01:38,834 is what is the output? 38 00:01:39,215 --> 00:01:40,515 Because the output defines 39 00:01:40,895 --> 00:01:41,795 who you are 40 00:01:42,415 --> 00:01:44,174 in a lot of our world. And so 41 00:01:44,174 --> 00:01:46,255 it's like, what do you do? And my 42 00:01:46,255 --> 00:01:48,194 best answer is I be. 43 00:01:49,055 --> 00:01:51,314 I just do my best to be 44 00:01:51,909 --> 00:01:54,629 me and be the most authentic version of 45 00:01:54,629 --> 00:01:55,129 myself. 46 00:01:55,989 --> 00:01:57,609 And from that place, 47 00:01:58,390 --> 00:01:59,209 I act. 48 00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,769 I think in Hoffman, there's a 49 00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:03,609 be, do, have. 50 00:02:03,954 --> 00:02:06,114 It was one of the my favorite things 51 00:02:06,114 --> 00:02:07,795 that came out of Hoffman, and I would 52 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,414 just keep it on my desk. 53 00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:11,254 And it's really been 54 00:02:12,194 --> 00:02:14,675 the guide over the last two and a 55 00:02:14,675 --> 00:02:15,414 half years 56 00:02:16,194 --> 00:02:17,895 if I'm my authentic self. 57 00:02:18,370 --> 00:02:19,349 And I do 58 00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:21,670 from the place of authenticity, 59 00:02:22,129 --> 00:02:23,650 then I will have the life that I 60 00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:25,810 wanna have. And I think that has been 61 00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:26,870 proven to me 62 00:02:27,409 --> 00:02:28,950 beyond my wildest dreams. 63 00:02:29,569 --> 00:02:31,830 So what does that look like now? 64 00:02:32,205 --> 00:02:34,705 I had done twenty five years of work 65 00:02:35,004 --> 00:02:36,144 in Alcoholics Anonymous, 66 00:02:36,444 --> 00:02:37,104 in therapy, 67 00:02:37,405 --> 00:02:38,784 in spiritual studies. 68 00:02:39,884 --> 00:02:42,044 So I kinda really thought I had scooped 69 00:02:42,044 --> 00:02:42,544 under 70 00:02:42,844 --> 00:02:44,925 everything you needed to scoop under, and then 71 00:02:44,925 --> 00:02:47,185 Hoffman blew that wide open. 72 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,159 I really spent the better part of the 73 00:02:49,159 --> 00:02:51,719 next two years almost monk like. I went 74 00:02:51,719 --> 00:02:53,500 into deep, deep, deep study 75 00:02:54,199 --> 00:02:55,739 around how I can 76 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,419 bring this work 77 00:02:57,959 --> 00:03:00,459 more into the world in whatever forms 78 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,379 were meant for me to do. 79 00:03:02,745 --> 00:03:05,645 What I hear is that you came into 80 00:03:06,344 --> 00:03:07,485 taking the process 81 00:03:08,025 --> 00:03:09,805 with twenty five years of 82 00:03:10,185 --> 00:03:12,365 self reflection, discovery and change 83 00:03:12,665 --> 00:03:14,365 and that you discovered there's 84 00:03:14,825 --> 00:03:15,724 even more. 85 00:03:16,139 --> 00:03:18,219 Yeah. In fact, I think it was on 86 00:03:18,219 --> 00:03:19,199 day two, 87 00:03:19,579 --> 00:03:22,159 one of my teachers who I love dearly, 88 00:03:22,539 --> 00:03:24,719 I went up to and I said, teacher, 89 00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:28,479 there are people that have real trauma here. 90 00:03:28,699 --> 00:03:29,919 And I feel guilty 91 00:03:30,504 --> 00:03:31,245 for coming 92 00:03:32,665 --> 00:03:35,004 when their stuff was so tragic. 93 00:03:35,705 --> 00:03:37,865 And he stopped, and he looked at me, 94 00:03:37,865 --> 00:03:40,185 and he said, Brian, I read everything you 95 00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:42,604 wrote in your application coming here. 96 00:03:43,544 --> 00:03:45,004 Yours may be worse 97 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,699 because you weren't allowed to have it. 98 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,259 And it rocked my world. 99 00:03:50,719 --> 00:03:52,800 And I felt it in that moment when 100 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:53,780 he said it. 101 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,360 I allowed myself to experience what I had 102 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:58,020 been holding 103 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,180 since I was five years old. 104 00:04:01,135 --> 00:04:03,375 From that point forward, we were in the 105 00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:03,875 work. 106 00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:06,415 That was my introduction. You know, I I 107 00:04:06,415 --> 00:04:08,194 went to Hoffman to support 108 00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:12,094 someone else. I went to Hoffman because the 109 00:04:12,094 --> 00:04:13,775 person I was in a relationship with, 110 00:04:14,849 --> 00:04:16,689 was at a point where she really needed 111 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:19,729 something, and she agreed to go. And my 112 00:04:19,729 --> 00:04:21,810 reason to go to Hoffman was she said 113 00:04:21,810 --> 00:04:23,729 if I go, I want you to go 114 00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:24,229 too. 115 00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:27,169 And as someone who loves personal work, I'm 116 00:04:27,169 --> 00:04:28,449 like, yeah. I get to go to camp 117 00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:30,345 for a week? Fantastic. Right? 118 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:31,805 But 119 00:04:32,185 --> 00:04:33,944 then I got there, and then I got 120 00:04:33,944 --> 00:04:35,944 in the process, and I was like, oh 121 00:04:35,944 --> 00:04:37,884 my god. There's so much I missed. 122 00:04:38,264 --> 00:04:39,644 There's so much I missed. 123 00:04:40,425 --> 00:04:42,665 And in one way, it rocked me. On 124 00:04:42,665 --> 00:04:45,245 the other hand, I was so excited because 125 00:04:45,305 --> 00:04:46,045 I knew, 126 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,899 you know, with every contraction, there's an expansion. 127 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,879 And I knew we were gonna get into 128 00:04:50,879 --> 00:04:52,480 some stuff, and on the other side of 129 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,879 that was gonna be something really special. And 130 00:04:54,879 --> 00:04:55,860 that was my experience. 131 00:04:56,639 --> 00:04:58,399 When you were there, it sounds like that 132 00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,000 one of the first things that you did 133 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,775 is say, I don't really have a valid 134 00:05:02,775 --> 00:05:05,175 reason or permission to be here because other 135 00:05:05,175 --> 00:05:07,675 people are having such a harder time. 136 00:05:08,134 --> 00:05:10,314 I come from a background where 137 00:05:10,855 --> 00:05:12,955 everything looked really good on the outside. 138 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,939 So much so that I think other people 139 00:05:15,939 --> 00:05:19,079 would be really hard for them to comprehend 140 00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,480 that you might have 141 00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:23,399 traumatic experiences 142 00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,319 when you come from 143 00:05:25,939 --> 00:05:28,360 a world that other people would think is 144 00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:29,560 the destination. 145 00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:32,904 How I handled that from a very young 146 00:05:32,904 --> 00:05:33,884 age was 147 00:05:34,904 --> 00:05:36,524 really, really keeping it inside, 148 00:05:37,144 --> 00:05:40,024 creating a mask that showed that everything was 149 00:05:40,024 --> 00:05:40,524 okay, 150 00:05:40,904 --> 00:05:43,629 and then kind of just escaping out of 151 00:05:43,629 --> 00:05:46,529 the top of my head into creative realms. 152 00:05:46,830 --> 00:05:48,350 I was a writer from a young age, 153 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,830 and I was able to somehow morph a 154 00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:51,330 reality 155 00:05:51,790 --> 00:05:53,250 that I could survive in. 156 00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:56,290 My journey was a journey of embodiment. 157 00:05:57,125 --> 00:06:00,264 My journey was about how you go 158 00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:01,944 deep in 159 00:06:02,805 --> 00:06:03,305 to 160 00:06:03,685 --> 00:06:06,324 see those parts of yourself that's been carrying 161 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,625 that for so long 162 00:06:08,564 --> 00:06:09,064 and 163 00:06:09,639 --> 00:06:10,460 kind of removing 164 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:11,819 all of 165 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:13,339 the false narratives, 166 00:06:13,879 --> 00:06:14,779 all the protections 167 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,939 to let him have a voice 168 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,259 and to let him come online 169 00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:22,199 and to develop a relationship with that part 170 00:06:22,199 --> 00:06:24,680 of myself that I had denied for most 171 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:25,420 of my life. 172 00:06:25,854 --> 00:06:28,495 So I call that the ground game. It's 173 00:06:28,495 --> 00:06:31,774 going deep down. It's excavating out the things 174 00:06:31,774 --> 00:06:32,995 that don't serve me. 175 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,314 And in that, the embodiment 176 00:06:35,935 --> 00:06:38,514 is I now can pull in 177 00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:40,970 those creative forces 178 00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:42,730 into this container, 179 00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:44,970 which can now hold it. 180 00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:47,670 And that is where the authenticity comes in 181 00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:49,449 because I'm no longer creating 182 00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:51,850 as a way to change reality. 183 00:06:53,035 --> 00:06:55,694 Creativity is now as a way to express 184 00:06:56,394 --> 00:06:56,894 authenticity, 185 00:06:57,435 --> 00:06:58,735 express truth. 186 00:06:59,194 --> 00:07:01,035 What was it like in that moment to 187 00:07:01,035 --> 00:07:01,935 have your teacher 188 00:07:02,394 --> 00:07:03,214 see you? 189 00:07:03,675 --> 00:07:06,170 That five year old felt seen 190 00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:09,449 for probably the first time in a purely, 191 00:07:09,589 --> 00:07:10,089 purely, 192 00:07:11,189 --> 00:07:12,889 like, I got you way. 193 00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:14,730 It was like 194 00:07:15,110 --> 00:07:17,529 all the weight I had been carrying 195 00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:19,209 got a moment 196 00:07:19,509 --> 00:07:20,889 to just let go 197 00:07:21,235 --> 00:07:23,254 and allow him to feel that. 198 00:07:24,035 --> 00:07:26,595 Touching that in that way after all the 199 00:07:26,595 --> 00:07:28,435 stuff that I had done, all the work 200 00:07:28,435 --> 00:07:29,415 that I had done 201 00:07:29,875 --> 00:07:30,775 shocked me 202 00:07:31,314 --> 00:07:34,514 that he never felt fully, fully seen on 203 00:07:34,514 --> 00:07:35,175 that level. 204 00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:38,449 So, yeah, so that was beautiful. And I 205 00:07:38,449 --> 00:07:38,949 think 206 00:07:39,569 --> 00:07:41,029 the gift I was given 207 00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:44,550 in that moment is a gift I love 208 00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:45,509 to give others. 209 00:07:45,810 --> 00:07:46,629 I love 210 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,229 to create the opportunities 211 00:07:48,529 --> 00:07:49,269 for others 212 00:07:49,584 --> 00:07:52,245 where I could show up with full presence, 213 00:07:53,104 --> 00:07:55,985 with full attention on them to allow them 214 00:07:55,985 --> 00:07:57,824 to touch that part too, because I know 215 00:07:57,824 --> 00:07:59,444 that that's where the medicine is. 216 00:07:59,824 --> 00:08:01,504 That was one of the things in your 217 00:08:01,504 --> 00:08:03,685 process week that you said blew you open, 218 00:08:04,199 --> 00:08:05,879 feeling that little five year old and what 219 00:08:05,879 --> 00:08:06,699 he'd carried 220 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,139 all that time. 221 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,279 Did it make you look back at your 222 00:08:10,279 --> 00:08:12,139 past twenty five years differently? 223 00:08:12,919 --> 00:08:13,419 Yes. 224 00:08:14,039 --> 00:08:15,419 I talk about 225 00:08:15,879 --> 00:08:18,279 addiction, which has been a big part of 226 00:08:18,279 --> 00:08:18,939 my journey. 227 00:08:19,314 --> 00:08:22,214 It's still a huge part of my passion. 228 00:08:22,754 --> 00:08:24,454 Alcoholics Anonymous and doing 229 00:08:24,915 --> 00:08:27,634 work in sobriety and sponsoring other people and 230 00:08:27,634 --> 00:08:29,954 speaking and doing groups, all those things was 231 00:08:29,954 --> 00:08:31,634 always really, really important to me, but there 232 00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:34,159 was always something that I felt was like 233 00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:35,299 I wasn't reaching. 234 00:08:36,079 --> 00:08:38,720 Like, I wasn't getting all the way under 235 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:39,220 it. 236 00:08:39,839 --> 00:08:41,459 So when that happened 237 00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:44,720 and I saw under it, there was, on 238 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,500 one hand, a huge relief. 239 00:08:47,654 --> 00:08:50,134 On another hand, it opened up a lot 240 00:08:50,134 --> 00:08:50,955 more questions. 241 00:08:52,534 --> 00:08:53,274 My journey 242 00:08:53,654 --> 00:08:54,154 through 243 00:08:54,774 --> 00:08:55,274 sobriety 244 00:08:55,894 --> 00:08:57,514 was a major gift, 245 00:08:57,894 --> 00:08:59,195 and it saved my life 246 00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:01,909 from, you know, my early twenties when I 247 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:04,649 was really, really abusing drugs, and 248 00:09:05,350 --> 00:09:06,409 they saved my life. 249 00:09:06,950 --> 00:09:10,309 And I'm eternally grateful for that. But as 250 00:09:10,309 --> 00:09:12,649 more and more time went on, I noticed 251 00:09:12,674 --> 00:09:15,475 more people as they had more time starting 252 00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:16,054 to suffer. 253 00:09:17,075 --> 00:09:19,794 And there's just some things that we now 254 00:09:19,794 --> 00:09:20,855 know in this world 255 00:09:21,235 --> 00:09:22,534 that we have access to 256 00:09:22,914 --> 00:09:25,475 that can really help. And Hoffman and the 257 00:09:25,475 --> 00:09:25,975 somatics 258 00:09:27,529 --> 00:09:31,309 and the combination of early childhood development work 259 00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:33,549 and expression work and visualizations 260 00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:34,750 is 261 00:09:35,529 --> 00:09:38,589 are tools that weren't there fifty years ago 262 00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:41,034 as much. So I'm a big believer in 263 00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:43,274 weaving together all of these things. Like, so 264 00:09:43,274 --> 00:09:44,414 in my world now, 265 00:09:44,955 --> 00:09:46,254 I don't delineate. 266 00:09:47,034 --> 00:09:49,514 Much like religions, you know, they're all based 267 00:09:49,514 --> 00:09:51,514 in the same spiritual essence, I look at 268 00:09:51,514 --> 00:09:54,159 it and say, there's so many tools available, 269 00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:54,659 and 270 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:56,740 Hoffman gives us 271 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:57,779 a beautiful 272 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,460 set to work with. 273 00:09:59,919 --> 00:10:01,759 This is one of the things we speak 274 00:10:01,759 --> 00:10:04,740 about on the last day of the process 275 00:10:05,754 --> 00:10:07,834 that you're not at the end, you're at 276 00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:08,495 the beginning. 277 00:10:09,274 --> 00:10:10,814 How has that all 278 00:10:11,115 --> 00:10:13,774 woven together with what you came in knowing 279 00:10:14,235 --> 00:10:17,774 this missing piece that you've described around embodiment, 280 00:10:18,154 --> 00:10:19,454 around inner child? 281 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:21,899 How did that unfold 282 00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,459 post process for you? 283 00:10:24,839 --> 00:10:25,820 Leaving Hoffman 284 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,360 was the beginning of the world that I 285 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,100 knew completely falling apart. The relationship, 286 00:10:32,745 --> 00:10:33,245 the 287 00:10:34,825 --> 00:10:36,845 So the relationship you came in 288 00:10:37,785 --> 00:10:38,924 hoping to repair 289 00:10:39,384 --> 00:10:40,205 fell apart? 290 00:10:40,825 --> 00:10:42,924 Yes. Yes. It was 291 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:44,684 a devastating 292 00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:46,605 period of time. 293 00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:50,419 I love this idea that leaving Hoffman, it's 294 00:10:50,419 --> 00:10:52,039 not that I went to Hoffman, 295 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,559 and in a week, 296 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,559 I was transformed 297 00:10:56,659 --> 00:10:58,740 to the point where I'm like a finished 298 00:10:58,740 --> 00:10:59,240 product. 299 00:10:59,894 --> 00:11:00,394 It 300 00:11:00,855 --> 00:11:03,495 was the beginnings of getting in touch with 301 00:11:03,495 --> 00:11:04,795 that authentic 302 00:11:05,175 --> 00:11:06,075 part of me, 303 00:11:06,615 --> 00:11:08,695 which I had always, like, kind of took 304 00:11:08,695 --> 00:11:10,235 go backwards a second. 305 00:11:10,615 --> 00:11:12,394 I was in entertainment industry, 306 00:11:12,830 --> 00:11:14,509 I had a very successful career, a very 307 00:11:14,509 --> 00:11:15,570 successful company. 308 00:11:16,429 --> 00:11:18,509 While in that, there was this thing in 309 00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:21,070 me that knew there was something else for 310 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:23,950 me. I couldn't name it. I couldn't know, 311 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,809 but I knew that I had to 312 00:11:26,590 --> 00:11:29,264 move on to find it. And I'd sold 313 00:11:29,264 --> 00:11:31,664 my company, and I was on the board 314 00:11:31,664 --> 00:11:33,605 of a nonprofit at the time 315 00:11:34,384 --> 00:11:36,464 to do social transformation work. And I ended 316 00:11:36,464 --> 00:11:38,245 up becoming a member of a think tank, 317 00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:41,024 which worked on social transformation work, and I 318 00:11:41,024 --> 00:11:43,180 thought, okay. At least I'm getting closer, but 319 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,399 it still wasn't 320 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:47,500 a bull's eye. It was closer, and I 321 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,660 liked it. And there was something unfolding, but 322 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,040 it wasn't quite there. 323 00:11:51,899 --> 00:11:53,980 When I got to Hoffman, I had kind 324 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:56,639 of been phasing out of that work. 325 00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:59,294 And I was in this relationship, and it 326 00:11:59,294 --> 00:12:01,455 was really I was madly in love, but 327 00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,315 it was a very challenged relationship, 328 00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:06,575 which is now has shown me to be 329 00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:09,294 the greatest teacher I have ever had. I 330 00:12:09,294 --> 00:12:10,355 think it 331 00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:12,259 to the ends of the earth because 332 00:12:12,879 --> 00:12:13,700 that was 333 00:12:14,159 --> 00:12:14,659 absolutely 334 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,799 the greatest mirror I've ever had. Because when 335 00:12:18,799 --> 00:12:20,340 you love that deeply, 336 00:12:21,279 --> 00:12:23,539 the stakes are super high. 337 00:12:24,225 --> 00:12:26,404 And when the stakes are super high, 338 00:12:26,784 --> 00:12:29,044 it brings everything up. 339 00:12:29,985 --> 00:12:32,144 Though we did not do a good job 340 00:12:32,144 --> 00:12:34,964 of being able to navigate through that together, 341 00:12:35,664 --> 00:12:37,284 what it taught me was 342 00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:40,490 there were parts of myself that I was 343 00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:42,350 so good at tucking away. 344 00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:45,550 That I couldn't even see them, 345 00:12:46,170 --> 00:12:47,950 and I would say that the process 346 00:12:48,889 --> 00:12:49,790 touched them. 347 00:12:50,684 --> 00:12:52,625 Part of this work is bringing 348 00:12:53,325 --> 00:12:54,865 those things into consciousness. 349 00:12:56,044 --> 00:12:58,225 So the minute they're brought into consciousness, 350 00:12:58,764 --> 00:13:00,304 they can no longer be ignored. 351 00:13:00,845 --> 00:13:03,965 They have to now bubble up. So I 352 00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:04,705 would say 353 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,299 Hoffman allowed that bubble up process to start, 354 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:09,419 but it also 355 00:13:09,959 --> 00:13:11,659 started me on the scent 356 00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:14,919 of that thing that had been there for 357 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,579 so many years that I wanted so badly. 358 00:13:17,845 --> 00:13:20,164 I wanted to be driven by whatever that 359 00:13:20,164 --> 00:13:22,404 little spark was inside me that I couldn't 360 00:13:22,404 --> 00:13:23,065 get to. 361 00:13:23,524 --> 00:13:24,825 When I touched that 362 00:13:25,365 --> 00:13:26,585 five year old self, 363 00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:29,044 when I saw the stuff that was in 364 00:13:29,044 --> 00:13:31,384 the unconscious rise to the conscious, 365 00:13:32,004 --> 00:13:33,225 so did that flame. 366 00:13:33,899 --> 00:13:34,399 So 367 00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:36,000 then through that, 368 00:13:36,699 --> 00:13:39,899 I touched my authentic self, and that allowed 369 00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:42,059 me to guide me into purpose in my 370 00:13:42,059 --> 00:13:44,079 life in a whole new way. 371 00:13:44,459 --> 00:13:46,879 You sound like you're speaking about something 372 00:13:47,419 --> 00:13:50,934 that inspired you to keep being more real? 373 00:13:51,075 --> 00:13:51,575 Yes. 374 00:13:52,115 --> 00:13:53,014 After Hoffman, 375 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,174 I went into 376 00:13:55,554 --> 00:13:56,855 my personal work 377 00:13:57,235 --> 00:13:58,774 at, like, a full time job. 378 00:13:59,394 --> 00:14:01,554 When I launched my company, I'd worked sixty, 379 00:14:01,554 --> 00:14:02,774 eighty hours a week. 380 00:14:03,235 --> 00:14:04,615 I went into this 381 00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:05,850 personal 382 00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:07,610 internal transformation 383 00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:08,490 work 384 00:14:08,870 --> 00:14:11,110 like a full time job. And I knew 385 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:11,610 that 386 00:14:12,389 --> 00:14:12,889 whatever 387 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,389 the purpose was for how I would live 388 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,490 the rest of my life started there. 389 00:14:19,285 --> 00:14:22,404 So, yes, it was chasing that scent, and 390 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,684 then soon it wasn't a chase anymore. It 391 00:14:25,684 --> 00:14:28,904 started to just grow. The more I was 392 00:14:29,684 --> 00:14:32,050 in touch with my authentic self, the less 393 00:14:32,050 --> 00:14:34,370 that was in shadow, the less of patterns 394 00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:35,910 that I was in, the more 395 00:14:36,769 --> 00:14:39,029 that just naturally started to grow. 396 00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:41,350 And that led me into 397 00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:43,590 becoming a somatic practitioner, 398 00:14:44,714 --> 00:14:46,975 deep into different spiritual practices, 399 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,235 finding a community of other people in this 400 00:14:50,235 --> 00:14:51,134 space, and 401 00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:54,634 and really, really becoming a student again. And 402 00:14:54,634 --> 00:14:56,475 I go back to when I started my 403 00:14:56,475 --> 00:14:58,654 first company, I had done every job 404 00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:00,429 in the entertainment 405 00:15:01,289 --> 00:15:03,309 industry and entertainment advertising 406 00:15:03,929 --> 00:15:06,090 industry. So when I started my company, I 407 00:15:06,090 --> 00:15:07,470 knew how the wheel worked. 408 00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:10,809 So I knew a reference to where I 409 00:15:10,809 --> 00:15:12,654 wanted how I wanted to change it, and 410 00:15:12,815 --> 00:15:14,575 which is what we did. We we changed 411 00:15:14,575 --> 00:15:16,495 the way that a part of that industry 412 00:15:16,495 --> 00:15:17,855 was working, and it and it worked out 413 00:15:17,855 --> 00:15:18,595 really well. 414 00:15:18,894 --> 00:15:21,214 When I saw this spark that I now 415 00:15:21,214 --> 00:15:22,674 actually wanted to create 416 00:15:23,054 --> 00:15:25,455 kind of a a healing program, a personal 417 00:15:25,455 --> 00:15:26,674 transformation program 418 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,019 that was largely based in somatics, 419 00:15:30,279 --> 00:15:32,120 I needed to go back to school. I 420 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,659 needed to go back and learn 421 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,879 every rung of the ladder because that's just 422 00:15:35,879 --> 00:15:38,200 how I choose to do things is to, 423 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,240 like, really understand what every single person is 424 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:41,740 doing. 425 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,704 But I also found a real passion 426 00:15:45,725 --> 00:15:48,464 for working with individuals, for working with groups, 427 00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:51,565 men's work, and men's teams. And, you know, 428 00:15:51,565 --> 00:15:52,944 it gives me so much 429 00:15:53,725 --> 00:15:54,225 joy 430 00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:55,584 to allow 431 00:15:56,524 --> 00:15:57,345 other people 432 00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:00,529 to tap that part of themselves and to 433 00:16:00,529 --> 00:16:03,809 start expressing and to shedding and all of 434 00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:05,669 that work. So yeah. So it's 435 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,990 what? It's been two and a half years, 436 00:16:08,049 --> 00:16:09,830 and I feel like I'm just beginning. 437 00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:13,105 So it sounds like you bring all parts 438 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,404 of you into consciousness, 439 00:16:15,345 --> 00:16:16,404 inviting in 440 00:16:16,945 --> 00:16:19,284 these parts of you that you'd shut down, 441 00:16:19,585 --> 00:16:21,845 gave you a sense of what was inspiring 442 00:16:21,904 --> 00:16:23,845 for you, that spark, that scent. 443 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,550 I think that's really 444 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:28,590 important for grads to hear 445 00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:31,790 because there is this fear of I'll lose 446 00:16:32,170 --> 00:16:32,670 this 447 00:16:33,129 --> 00:16:36,090 shine, the Hoffman high. I'll lose this over 448 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:38,490 time. It sounds like in your case, it's 449 00:16:38,490 --> 00:16:38,990 grown. 450 00:16:39,764 --> 00:16:40,264 Yeah. 451 00:16:40,725 --> 00:16:42,264 So I knew how to conquer. 452 00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,065 I knew how to win. 453 00:16:45,684 --> 00:16:46,904 I knew how 454 00:16:48,085 --> 00:16:50,805 to use all my skills to get the 455 00:16:50,805 --> 00:16:51,305 outcome 456 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:53,865 that I thought needed to happen. 457 00:16:54,659 --> 00:16:57,940 The unlearning of that because when you're going 458 00:16:57,940 --> 00:17:00,200 to be in the be, do, have model, 459 00:17:00,579 --> 00:17:01,480 it doesn't work. 460 00:17:02,339 --> 00:17:04,599 There's a patience that I had to develop 461 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:05,559 to allow 462 00:17:06,755 --> 00:17:09,075 what's meant to unfold to show up in 463 00:17:09,075 --> 00:17:11,735 front of me and then meet that thing 464 00:17:11,795 --> 00:17:12,295 each 465 00:17:12,595 --> 00:17:13,815 level of the rung 466 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:15,575 versus saying, 467 00:17:15,955 --> 00:17:17,414 I need to create this, 468 00:17:18,115 --> 00:17:19,894 and I'm gonna make that happen. 469 00:17:20,599 --> 00:17:21,420 It's a 470 00:17:21,799 --> 00:17:22,619 weird yoga. 471 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,539 It's a dance. 472 00:17:26,519 --> 00:17:28,220 And when I'm in alignment, 473 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,700 they present themselves, 474 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,660 and then I step into them 475 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:34,859 versus 476 00:17:36,585 --> 00:17:37,325 the opportunities 477 00:17:37,704 --> 00:17:39,484 the opportunities, the person, 478 00:17:39,944 --> 00:17:40,765 the company, 479 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,044 the whatever, 480 00:17:42,345 --> 00:17:44,845 they show up, and then I meet them, 481 00:17:45,224 --> 00:17:46,204 you know, in presence 482 00:17:46,984 --> 00:17:48,204 versus going, 483 00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:50,940 you know what? I'm getting older 484 00:17:52,599 --> 00:17:53,980 and so much to do, 485 00:17:54,599 --> 00:17:56,200 and I haven't done it all yet, so 486 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,740 I'm gonna make that happen today. 487 00:17:58,679 --> 00:17:59,980 What happens is, 488 00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:01,579 especially when 489 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:02,460 you're practicing 490 00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:04,815 presence and authenticity, 491 00:18:05,115 --> 00:18:07,054 is those things move further away. 492 00:18:07,755 --> 00:18:09,294 It's like a reverse magnet. 493 00:18:09,994 --> 00:18:11,755 So then you'd have to lean in more 494 00:18:11,755 --> 00:18:12,815 and chase more. 495 00:18:13,274 --> 00:18:14,974 So that's, I would say, for 496 00:18:15,559 --> 00:18:16,700 anyone in the program 497 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:18,700 who's coming out 498 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:22,359 who is kinda saying, I know there's something 499 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:23,880 else for me. I'm not sure what it 500 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,559 is yet, but I feel like this is 501 00:18:25,559 --> 00:18:27,500 the start. I would just say 502 00:18:28,744 --> 00:18:31,404 the more you lean into that conversation 503 00:18:31,704 --> 00:18:33,484 with that inner part of you, 504 00:18:33,944 --> 00:18:36,105 the more you develop the relationship with your 505 00:18:36,105 --> 00:18:36,605 authentic 506 00:18:37,144 --> 00:18:38,284 self, with your essence, 507 00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,284 and do the work. 508 00:18:41,384 --> 00:18:43,164 That answer will come 509 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,299 in its own time. 510 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:47,700 I'm lucky. I 511 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,900 am someone who left a really, really prominent 512 00:18:51,279 --> 00:18:51,779 position 513 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,940 at one point in my life 514 00:18:54,559 --> 00:18:56,259 where people thought I was insane 515 00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:57,299 because 516 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,134 why would you give up that identity? And 517 00:19:00,134 --> 00:19:02,535 because there was this thing telling me I 518 00:19:02,535 --> 00:19:04,214 have to in order to get the next 519 00:19:04,214 --> 00:19:04,714 thing. 520 00:19:05,575 --> 00:19:07,194 As you do this work, 521 00:19:08,454 --> 00:19:11,654 that's why that relationship internally with yourself is 522 00:19:11,654 --> 00:19:12,154 crucial 523 00:19:13,409 --> 00:19:14,789 because you're all you got. 524 00:19:16,049 --> 00:19:17,669 You know, it starts there, 525 00:19:18,369 --> 00:19:20,849 then you build from there, and you have 526 00:19:20,849 --> 00:19:22,289 to do it with support, and you have 527 00:19:22,289 --> 00:19:23,349 to do it with community. 528 00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:24,630 I have 529 00:19:25,009 --> 00:19:26,710 two of my best friends 530 00:19:27,984 --> 00:19:30,224 went through Hoffman with me, and I never 531 00:19:30,224 --> 00:19:31,204 met them before. 532 00:19:31,664 --> 00:19:33,825 But they're in my life on a weekly 533 00:19:33,825 --> 00:19:35,765 basis, sometimes a daily basis. 534 00:19:36,464 --> 00:19:38,325 I don't do any of this alone. 535 00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:40,804 And from that, I have found 536 00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:44,599 incredible communities of people all about their own 537 00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,119 internal work and, 538 00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:48,819 you know, some are other practitioners and some 539 00:19:48,819 --> 00:19:49,880 are just really 540 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:51,960 beautiful people who 541 00:19:52,419 --> 00:19:53,799 believe in this work. 542 00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,714 I think that it starts with that internal 543 00:19:56,714 --> 00:19:57,214 dialogue, 544 00:19:57,755 --> 00:19:59,934 having community that supports it, 545 00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:01,774 that reinforces it, 546 00:20:02,394 --> 00:20:04,174 is kind of the path 547 00:20:04,634 --> 00:20:05,534 to finding 548 00:20:06,599 --> 00:20:09,400 the destination that you don't even know that 549 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,039 you want yet. I love that you said 550 00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:14,619 patience. There's a patience in 551 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,619 I'm just going to 552 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:17,819 be authentic 553 00:20:19,174 --> 00:20:21,974 and see what unfolds like a surrender and 554 00:20:21,974 --> 00:20:23,275 a patience in that. 555 00:20:23,894 --> 00:20:27,194 Have you experienced a softening and a space 556 00:20:27,255 --> 00:20:28,875 for more things to grow? 557 00:20:29,414 --> 00:20:30,394 Giving up 558 00:20:30,934 --> 00:20:31,434 control 559 00:20:32,369 --> 00:20:34,930 because I was good at it. I was 560 00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:37,190 really good at control. It was a superpower, 561 00:20:37,490 --> 00:20:39,009 I would say. And I don't mean that 562 00:20:39,009 --> 00:20:40,390 in a malicious way. 563 00:20:41,089 --> 00:20:43,589 That's why I'm so grateful for somatics. 564 00:20:44,625 --> 00:20:45,765 I have hip issues. 565 00:20:47,105 --> 00:20:48,484 My hips tell me 566 00:20:48,945 --> 00:20:50,565 when I am rigid. 567 00:20:50,945 --> 00:20:52,565 They tell me when I'm controlling. 568 00:20:53,025 --> 00:20:55,845 And it's not even externally controlling. It's controlling 569 00:20:55,904 --> 00:20:56,190 me. 570 00:20:56,750 --> 00:20:58,990 And so the more I soften, the more 571 00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:01,490 I kind of breathe into those hips 572 00:21:02,269 --> 00:21:04,509 and listen to them for a minute, they 573 00:21:04,509 --> 00:21:05,329 tell me 574 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:07,009 what's going on. 575 00:21:07,629 --> 00:21:09,889 Then I can let go of that thing 576 00:21:10,565 --> 00:21:11,305 and soften 577 00:21:11,644 --> 00:21:12,144 again 578 00:21:12,484 --> 00:21:12,984 because 579 00:21:14,005 --> 00:21:14,825 it's a 580 00:21:16,005 --> 00:21:18,964 practice. And the practice gets easier and easier 581 00:21:18,964 --> 00:21:19,625 and easier 582 00:21:20,085 --> 00:21:20,585 as 583 00:21:21,125 --> 00:21:23,285 you encounter more moments that used to trigger 584 00:21:23,285 --> 00:21:24,505 you into 585 00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:26,569 ways that weren't serving me, 586 00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:29,289 the more I encounter them and listen 587 00:21:30,069 --> 00:21:30,970 to my body, 588 00:21:31,349 --> 00:21:32,869 it will tell me what I need to 589 00:21:32,869 --> 00:21:33,369 know, 590 00:21:33,670 --> 00:21:35,990 and then I'll soften into that. So it 591 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,049 sounds like somatics, 592 00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:38,009 embodiment, 593 00:21:39,444 --> 00:21:42,904 and relationship with self are a big part 594 00:21:42,964 --> 00:21:44,504 of your practice 595 00:21:44,884 --> 00:21:45,704 post process. 596 00:21:46,244 --> 00:21:49,224 I love sound baths. I love ecstatic dance. 597 00:21:49,365 --> 00:21:50,105 I love 598 00:21:51,339 --> 00:21:51,839 spiritual 599 00:21:52,460 --> 00:21:52,960 ritual. 600 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,519 All those things are amazing. 601 00:21:56,139 --> 00:21:57,279 I believe in them 602 00:21:57,579 --> 00:22:00,859 as very necessary, but I think without fully 603 00:22:00,859 --> 00:22:01,359 grounding, 604 00:22:02,139 --> 00:22:04,779 without doing the deep work where you're 605 00:22:05,644 --> 00:22:07,585 I believe in the chakra systems 606 00:22:08,284 --> 00:22:11,004 and your lower chakras first and second and 607 00:22:11,004 --> 00:22:13,004 third are the ones that get neglected the 608 00:22:13,004 --> 00:22:13,504 most 609 00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:16,944 without those being cleaned out and fully grounded. 610 00:22:17,644 --> 00:22:20,224 Jumping straight into the fun stuff, 611 00:22:20,759 --> 00:22:21,259 celebratory 612 00:22:21,559 --> 00:22:23,420 stuff can be a bit of a bypass. 613 00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,039 So I joke with people that I'm all 614 00:22:26,039 --> 00:22:28,519 about the ground game. It's what I'm passionate 615 00:22:28,519 --> 00:22:31,160 about because I trust. I trust that once 616 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:31,900 the foundation 617 00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:33,339 is right, 618 00:22:34,085 --> 00:22:36,265 that the container fills beautifully 619 00:22:36,724 --> 00:22:39,305 with all the good stuff, all the magic. 620 00:22:39,765 --> 00:22:41,765 I'm a big believer in life force. I'm 621 00:22:41,765 --> 00:22:44,964 a big believer in Kundalini energy, all those 622 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:45,464 amazing, 623 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:48,484 incredible things, but it all starts with the 624 00:22:48,484 --> 00:22:49,305 ground gate. 625 00:22:50,059 --> 00:22:50,559 Hoffman, 626 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:54,619 especially for people who have not done a 627 00:22:54,619 --> 00:22:57,359 lot of this, it is such an amazing 628 00:22:58,220 --> 00:22:58,720 introduction. 629 00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:01,359 You've taken a sharp 630 00:23:01,964 --> 00:23:03,585 turn into a different 631 00:23:03,884 --> 00:23:06,544 realm of your professional life. You mentioned 632 00:23:07,005 --> 00:23:08,384 somatics. You mentioned 633 00:23:09,325 --> 00:23:12,065 men's circles. You mentioned one on one work. 634 00:23:13,005 --> 00:23:15,825 What do you see as next for you? 635 00:23:16,450 --> 00:23:19,350 I did a plant medicine experience, which 636 00:23:20,289 --> 00:23:22,070 I had this experience where 637 00:23:22,850 --> 00:23:24,230 all my life's experience, 638 00:23:24,609 --> 00:23:27,009 every moment of it, from the work that 639 00:23:27,009 --> 00:23:29,515 I did and the conquering and the, you 640 00:23:29,515 --> 00:23:31,434 know, beautiful creative work I got to do 641 00:23:31,434 --> 00:23:33,855 and running companies and and all that stuff. 642 00:23:34,554 --> 00:23:36,015 It all came back. 643 00:23:36,634 --> 00:23:37,934 As I was doing this 644 00:23:38,315 --> 00:23:41,194 healing work and everything, I was shown that 645 00:23:41,194 --> 00:23:43,650 actually it's come back in, but it's come 646 00:23:43,650 --> 00:23:46,070 back in in a new way. I'm in 647 00:23:46,369 --> 00:23:47,109 a trustworthy 648 00:23:47,410 --> 00:23:48,390 position again 649 00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:52,450 within myself to take back the skills of 650 00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:52,950 building 651 00:23:53,809 --> 00:23:54,549 my passion. 652 00:23:55,170 --> 00:23:57,250 I'm writing, which has been something I've been 653 00:23:57,250 --> 00:23:57,750 doing 654 00:23:58,164 --> 00:23:59,464 since I was 10. 655 00:24:00,085 --> 00:24:02,164 I'm working with groups. I'm doing all that. 656 00:24:02,164 --> 00:24:05,305 But really, my passion is creating another type 657 00:24:05,365 --> 00:24:06,585 of personal transformation 658 00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:07,545 platform, 659 00:24:08,005 --> 00:24:08,984 which would be 660 00:24:09,365 --> 00:24:10,184 where you're 661 00:24:10,679 --> 00:24:14,119 doing deep retreat style work, but also matching 662 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,159 that back into community centers and in major 663 00:24:17,159 --> 00:24:17,659 cities. 664 00:24:18,679 --> 00:24:22,299 Because the one thing that I need is 665 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,335 when I go and do this work, I 666 00:24:24,335 --> 00:24:26,595 need to come back and have it reinforced 667 00:24:26,734 --> 00:24:27,474 in community. 668 00:24:28,494 --> 00:24:31,134 It's like frequencies that wash over you. When 669 00:24:31,134 --> 00:24:32,115 you're at Hoffman, 670 00:24:32,494 --> 00:24:35,214 you're getting this dose of frequency over these 671 00:24:35,214 --> 00:24:37,615 five or six days, which just starts to 672 00:24:37,615 --> 00:24:38,579 transform you. 673 00:24:39,220 --> 00:24:41,700 And the more we stay in those types 674 00:24:41,700 --> 00:24:44,919 of connections and environments, the more alchemizing 675 00:24:45,220 --> 00:24:46,519 it is to our systems. 676 00:24:47,059 --> 00:24:47,559 So 677 00:24:48,179 --> 00:24:50,419 I want to put together what I call 678 00:24:50,419 --> 00:24:51,399 a healing collective 679 00:24:52,244 --> 00:24:55,224 of practitioners of all different types that 680 00:24:55,525 --> 00:24:58,164 work with participants but also have a community 681 00:24:58,164 --> 00:24:59,625 for themselves. Because 682 00:25:00,005 --> 00:25:02,164 often the people that find themselves in this 683 00:25:02,164 --> 00:25:04,005 work are the ones that also need a 684 00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:05,464 tremendous amount of support. 685 00:25:05,910 --> 00:25:07,850 You don't find this work unless you're sensitive. 686 00:25:07,910 --> 00:25:10,150 You don't find this work unless you're tapped 687 00:25:10,150 --> 00:25:10,650 in. 688 00:25:10,950 --> 00:25:12,330 But because you're 689 00:25:12,789 --> 00:25:15,029 sensitive and tapped in, that means you had 690 00:25:15,029 --> 00:25:16,869 a lot of work to do too to 691 00:25:16,869 --> 00:25:19,269 get ready to serve others. So I think 692 00:25:19,269 --> 00:25:20,410 creating kind of 693 00:25:21,005 --> 00:25:22,305 communities for people 694 00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:24,285 who are doing this work. And then the 695 00:25:24,285 --> 00:25:26,365 hope is is that you do this work 696 00:25:26,365 --> 00:25:27,725 and you come home and you have a 697 00:25:27,725 --> 00:25:30,845 secondary community. You start bringing your primary community 698 00:25:30,845 --> 00:25:34,125 around, and they start seeing your transformation, and 699 00:25:34,125 --> 00:25:35,985 then we can start spreading this 700 00:25:36,490 --> 00:25:39,049 transformational work as wide as possible. And I'd 701 00:25:39,049 --> 00:25:40,589 love to just be a part of that. 702 00:25:41,049 --> 00:25:41,549 Community 703 00:25:41,849 --> 00:25:43,950 was a really important part of your process. 704 00:25:44,009 --> 00:25:47,150 That moment of being seen by your teacher 705 00:25:47,609 --> 00:25:50,109 for really what you'd carried since childhood 706 00:25:50,664 --> 00:25:52,845 and welcoming that part in 707 00:25:53,305 --> 00:25:55,305 your two best friends who are still in 708 00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,224 your life two and a half years post 709 00:25:57,224 --> 00:25:58,605 process are important 710 00:25:58,904 --> 00:26:00,444 in your community. 711 00:26:01,384 --> 00:26:03,420 You are out in the world with a 712 00:26:03,420 --> 00:26:06,000 purpose, a mission to create a healing community, 713 00:26:06,140 --> 00:26:06,799 a healing 714 00:26:07,340 --> 00:26:07,840 collective, 715 00:26:08,940 --> 00:26:10,700 and that that was such a relevant part 716 00:26:10,700 --> 00:26:11,759 of your own experience. 717 00:26:12,539 --> 00:26:13,519 Yeah. Creating 718 00:26:14,460 --> 00:26:16,799 the the world and community that he wants. 719 00:26:17,180 --> 00:26:19,515 That little five year old, you mean? Yeah. 720 00:26:20,054 --> 00:26:22,535 That's what he wants, is to be part 721 00:26:22,535 --> 00:26:23,835 of a 722 00:26:24,775 --> 00:26:28,054 growing, growing, growing community. And why I think 723 00:26:28,054 --> 00:26:28,714 I was 724 00:26:29,095 --> 00:26:30,154 writing at, 725 00:26:31,059 --> 00:26:33,559 you know, 10, 12 years old was 726 00:26:33,940 --> 00:26:35,400 I wanted to relate. 727 00:26:36,019 --> 00:26:38,900 I wanted you to connect with what I 728 00:26:38,900 --> 00:26:40,900 was feeling, and I wanted to connect with 729 00:26:40,900 --> 00:26:41,960 what you were feeling. 730 00:26:42,660 --> 00:26:44,500 And so now I just don't have to 731 00:26:44,500 --> 00:26:46,365 do that in the fantasy land. Now I 732 00:26:46,365 --> 00:26:48,125 get to do that in real life. So 733 00:26:48,125 --> 00:26:50,445 I actually wanna come back to something, and 734 00:26:50,445 --> 00:26:51,664 that is you 735 00:26:52,684 --> 00:26:55,565 describing what it was like to see your 736 00:26:55,565 --> 00:26:56,464 five year old 737 00:26:56,765 --> 00:26:57,265 differently 738 00:26:57,980 --> 00:27:00,240 and how that changed your relationship with yourself. 739 00:27:00,859 --> 00:27:02,480 And I know you have a son. 740 00:27:03,180 --> 00:27:05,039 What have you noticed since 741 00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:06,960 that shift within you? 742 00:27:07,420 --> 00:27:09,900 My relationship with my son in the last 743 00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:11,440 two or three years has 744 00:27:11,785 --> 00:27:13,545 not that we had a bad relationship, we 745 00:27:13,545 --> 00:27:15,565 always had a really, really close relationship. 746 00:27:16,424 --> 00:27:16,924 But 747 00:27:17,464 --> 00:27:18,765 where we are now 748 00:27:19,384 --> 00:27:20,204 is beyond 749 00:27:20,984 --> 00:27:23,565 my wildest dreams of being able to 750 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:25,900 show up really authentically. 751 00:27:26,279 --> 00:27:28,859 My son's 22 now. He's a young man. 752 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,640 And more importantly, I let him fully be 753 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:32,140 himself. 754 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:33,980 For me at Hoffman, 755 00:27:34,839 --> 00:27:36,700 really one of the most important things 756 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,194 is doing generational trauma work. 757 00:27:39,674 --> 00:27:42,234 My father, who is amazing, his father died 758 00:27:42,234 --> 00:27:43,855 when he was around six. 759 00:27:44,315 --> 00:27:47,194 My dad was the youngest of five siblings 760 00:27:47,194 --> 00:27:49,355 by about ten years, I think. So he 761 00:27:49,355 --> 00:27:52,634 was really this, like, baby. In a strange 762 00:27:52,634 --> 00:27:53,934 world in Brooklyn, 763 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,799 where everyone was a cop and a fireman 764 00:27:56,799 --> 00:27:58,720 and very tough, and he he didn't have 765 00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,460 his dad, 766 00:27:59,919 --> 00:28:00,740 that trauma 767 00:28:01,039 --> 00:28:03,919 that he carried, you know, that generation didn't 768 00:28:03,919 --> 00:28:06,259 do this type of work, so it stays 769 00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:07,779 within the family system. 770 00:28:08,355 --> 00:28:10,115 So when I was at Hoffman, I saw 771 00:28:10,115 --> 00:28:12,615 it. I saw that I was carrying this 772 00:28:13,075 --> 00:28:13,575 generational 773 00:28:14,035 --> 00:28:14,535 trauma 774 00:28:15,154 --> 00:28:15,654 and 775 00:28:16,115 --> 00:28:17,255 there's a lot of forgiveness 776 00:28:18,194 --> 00:28:20,115 to my dad, to my mom and dad, 777 00:28:20,115 --> 00:28:20,934 but really 778 00:28:21,390 --> 00:28:23,009 an understanding and compassion 779 00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:24,609 for his experience 780 00:28:25,390 --> 00:28:28,130 and this gift of being the generation 781 00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:30,609 that actually shifts 782 00:28:30,990 --> 00:28:32,210 the course of a family. 783 00:28:32,750 --> 00:28:34,529 I have seen that with my son. 784 00:28:34,910 --> 00:28:36,609 I was an authority figure 785 00:28:37,134 --> 00:28:37,954 to my son. 786 00:28:38,494 --> 00:28:39,875 I was the rule keeper. 787 00:28:40,414 --> 00:28:42,755 He's 22, so it's different. But even 788 00:28:43,134 --> 00:28:44,434 two, three years ago, 789 00:28:44,815 --> 00:28:45,875 it all changed. 790 00:28:46,335 --> 00:28:47,315 He sees me 791 00:28:47,615 --> 00:28:48,515 in my full 792 00:28:48,894 --> 00:28:49,394 authenticity. 793 00:28:50,029 --> 00:28:52,669 I see him in his full authenticity. There's 794 00:28:52,669 --> 00:28:54,289 no topics off limit. 795 00:28:54,589 --> 00:28:56,609 I talk to him every single day. 796 00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:57,569 And 797 00:28:58,190 --> 00:29:00,429 I have a beautiful relationship with my father 798 00:29:00,429 --> 00:29:02,829 who's still alive and 89 years old. I 799 00:29:02,829 --> 00:29:05,230 love him and accept him for exactly who 800 00:29:05,230 --> 00:29:05,889 he is. 801 00:29:06,325 --> 00:29:07,765 This is a big part of the work 802 00:29:07,765 --> 00:29:09,605 that I now do is something that I 803 00:29:09,605 --> 00:29:10,985 call quantum reparenting. 804 00:29:11,605 --> 00:29:13,545 It is this ability to go back 805 00:29:13,845 --> 00:29:15,845 through your whole life at all the moments 806 00:29:15,845 --> 00:29:18,105 that were hard. And now as 807 00:29:18,830 --> 00:29:20,529 your full adult self 808 00:29:20,910 --> 00:29:22,049 be there to support 809 00:29:22,430 --> 00:29:25,470 yourself, your young self through all these painful 810 00:29:25,470 --> 00:29:28,509 moments and in a weird way alchemize them, 811 00:29:28,509 --> 00:29:31,150 transform them so that in your current life 812 00:29:31,150 --> 00:29:33,410 you're no longer carrying those scars. 813 00:29:34,275 --> 00:29:36,994 But without Hoffman, I I can't imagine that 814 00:29:36,994 --> 00:29:38,674 process for me not beginning and I can't 815 00:29:38,674 --> 00:29:39,174 imagine 816 00:29:39,555 --> 00:29:40,055 having 817 00:29:40,595 --> 00:29:42,855 such a beautiful relationship with my son. 818 00:29:43,315 --> 00:29:45,734 I do hear many grads say, 819 00:29:46,269 --> 00:29:47,950 wow, I wish I had done this work 820 00:29:47,950 --> 00:29:50,269 earlier when my kids were younger. Now that 821 00:29:50,269 --> 00:29:52,670 I see how this is passed on, I 822 00:29:52,670 --> 00:29:53,490 feel terrible 823 00:29:53,950 --> 00:29:56,829 about how I've passed this on to my 824 00:29:56,829 --> 00:29:57,730 own children. 825 00:29:58,265 --> 00:30:01,305 But you mentioned you have gone back and 826 00:30:01,305 --> 00:30:02,445 been there for yourself, 827 00:30:02,825 --> 00:30:05,404 reparented yourself differently as well. 828 00:30:05,705 --> 00:30:08,345 That's the beautiful part is actually you don't 829 00:30:08,345 --> 00:30:09,644 have to do anything 830 00:30:10,500 --> 00:30:12,900 for anyone else. You don't have to fix 831 00:30:12,900 --> 00:30:14,759 them or try to change them. 832 00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:16,119 You just 833 00:30:16,420 --> 00:30:19,059 do this internal work on yourself and be 834 00:30:19,059 --> 00:30:21,400 there for yourself, and you show up 835 00:30:21,779 --> 00:30:23,320 in that more healed state. 836 00:30:23,859 --> 00:30:25,480 And it has this 837 00:30:26,585 --> 00:30:27,565 crazy impact 838 00:30:28,025 --> 00:30:28,525 on 839 00:30:29,464 --> 00:30:30,365 that energy 840 00:30:30,664 --> 00:30:31,164 emits 841 00:30:31,945 --> 00:30:33,244 and changes dynamics 842 00:30:33,865 --> 00:30:36,505 outside of you without actually having to do 843 00:30:36,505 --> 00:30:37,005 anything. 844 00:30:37,545 --> 00:30:39,519 I could go on and on. It sounds 845 00:30:39,519 --> 00:30:41,680 really like the definition of a ripple effect. 846 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,700 Like, you just gave a perfect example 847 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,740 of how something central to you 848 00:30:47,279 --> 00:30:51,059 has made waves of positivity in other places. 849 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,039 And I think that's a really wonderful thing, 850 00:30:53,039 --> 00:30:54,259 and thank you for sharing. 851 00:30:54,855 --> 00:30:55,755 Thanks, Sadie. 852 00:30:56,134 --> 00:30:57,894 What is one thing you would like to 853 00:30:57,894 --> 00:31:00,714 leave the listeners with about 854 00:31:01,095 --> 00:31:02,634 maybe a personal insight, 855 00:31:03,815 --> 00:31:04,714 favorite practice? 856 00:31:05,575 --> 00:31:08,714 Well, I'm a big somatic expression person. 857 00:31:09,279 --> 00:31:12,720 So I think that all the tools that 858 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:13,380 you get 859 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:14,819 coming out of Hoffman, 860 00:31:15,599 --> 00:31:16,579 everything from 861 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,880 the meditations that you get to do every 862 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:19,380 day 863 00:31:19,759 --> 00:31:21,380 to the expression work. 864 00:31:21,839 --> 00:31:22,579 I love 865 00:31:23,505 --> 00:31:25,125 all types of somatic expression. 866 00:31:25,744 --> 00:31:26,644 I guess my 867 00:31:27,184 --> 00:31:29,924 advice to anyone who's gonna go is a, 868 00:31:29,984 --> 00:31:31,125 trust the process, 869 00:31:32,065 --> 00:31:33,285 but use the tools 870 00:31:33,904 --> 00:31:34,644 and also 871 00:31:35,424 --> 00:31:36,565 make a few connections. 872 00:31:37,990 --> 00:31:39,049 Treat them well, 873 00:31:39,750 --> 00:31:40,970 make time for 874 00:31:41,669 --> 00:31:45,210 people that got to see you in such 875 00:31:45,750 --> 00:31:48,789 a true state, such a raw state, and 876 00:31:48,789 --> 00:31:50,549 keep them in your lives because it will 877 00:31:50,549 --> 00:31:52,089 remind you of 878 00:31:52,630 --> 00:31:53,609 who you are, 879 00:31:54,194 --> 00:31:57,234 of those moments, and, also, it will show 880 00:31:57,234 --> 00:31:59,015 you as you continue to grow. 881 00:31:59,714 --> 00:32:01,474 It will remind you of how far you've 882 00:32:01,474 --> 00:32:01,974 come. 883 00:32:02,355 --> 00:32:05,494 Again, that community that can really see you 884 00:32:05,554 --> 00:32:07,815 for being the authentic you, 885 00:32:08,809 --> 00:32:11,130 and I love to hear how that's showing 886 00:32:11,130 --> 00:32:12,890 up in your world. Thank you so much 887 00:32:12,890 --> 00:32:14,910 for sharing yourself, your being, 888 00:32:15,450 --> 00:32:17,609 for being here with me today. Thank you, 889 00:32:17,609 --> 00:32:19,869 Sadie. Love you. Love you. 890 00:32:27,815 --> 00:32:29,894 Thank you for listening to our podcast. My 891 00:32:29,894 --> 00:32:32,295 name is Liza Ingrassi. I'm the CEO and 892 00:32:32,295 --> 00:32:34,474 president of Hoffman Institute Foundation. 893 00:32:34,930 --> 00:32:36,309 And I'm Rassie Grassi, 894 00:32:36,849 --> 00:32:39,890 Hoffman teacher and founder of the Hoffman Institute 895 00:32:39,890 --> 00:32:40,390 Foundation. 896 00:32:41,009 --> 00:32:43,910 Our mission is to provide people greater access 897 00:32:43,970 --> 00:32:46,289 to the wisdom and power of love. In 898 00:32:46,289 --> 00:32:48,869 themselves, in each other, and in the world. 899 00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:52,825 To find out more, please go to hompaninstitute.org.