﻿WEBVTT

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<v 0>Do you ever walk out of a conversation and then think of what you wish you had</v>

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said or are sitting in a meeting feeling like you're in the middle of a game of

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pinball, trying to keep up slow processing speed,

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which many A DHD adults have? Maybe one of the reasons for this,

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you've tuned into re-imagining productivity with A DHD,

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A podcast for A DHD,

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adults like you who want to learn how to adopt the best strategies, tools,

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and skills to be able to get your essential work done in a way that works with

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the way your brain is wired. I'm Marla Cummins,

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an A DHD coach and executive function coach,

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and I'm glad you decided to join me today on this journey toward finding your

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way to doing what matters most to you without trying to do it like

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everyone else. When most people think about processing speed,

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they think it simply means how fast you respond, but as you may know,

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it's more than that.
Processing speed refers to both the speed

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and the accuracy with which you take in the information,

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whether verbal or written, make sense of it,

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decide what aspects of the information matter to you,

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then figure out how you wanna respond and then organize that

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response quickly enough to say it in real time. Yes,

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that's a lot and for many adults with A DHD who struggle

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to do this,

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those processes are harder and take more time under pressure,

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like in a high stakes meeting or a social setting where the consequences for

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not showing up the way you want can feel especially heavy.

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There are also, I'm sure, no surprise to you,

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several executive function challenges common in A DHD that can affect

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how quickly and effectively you process information in real time.

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One is that, as you know, adults with A DHD have less working memory capacity,

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which means you are able to hold less information to then be able to

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manipulate it and decide what to do with it.
Obviously,

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this will affect your processing speed.

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Another common challenge for A DHD adults is being able to regulate

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emotions in the moment.

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So if you're feeling your emotions more intensely and they last longer as

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they do for A DHD adults, it's just gonna be harder to process information.

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In addition,

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because many A DHD adults have difficulties with consistently

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regulating attention and effort, you may just misinformation.

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Maybe it's because of an internal thought or something external. Yes,

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there goes the squirrel a distraction,

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which of course makes it hard to respond when you're just not fully engaged in

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the conversation.

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And if two or more of these challenges are happening at the same time, well,

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you know what happens then It can make it exponentially harder.

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As you try to follow the conversation, filter distractions,

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regulate your emotions,

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remember even what the heck it was that they were saying,

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and then decide how to respond.
And you might decide to check out,

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but you don't have to. Let's see what you can do and set.

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If you struggle with slow processing speed,

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there is a good chance you also carry some amount of shame about it.

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And if that's true for you,

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it's important to address this part before you consider other tactics that

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might help you to con compensate for your slow processing speed.

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Because right now you may be thinking,

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why do I feel so stupid in conversations? Why can't I think faster?

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Why do I always think of things later? This is so embarrassing, I'm so dumb.

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And when you're constantly judging yourself for not thinking or responding fast

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enough, it becomes that much harder to stay regulated,

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pay attention,

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and then persist in experimenting with strategies that might actually help,

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which is why self-compassion is not optional when you're trying to figure out

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how to address your challenges with slow processing speed or actually any other

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A DHD related challenge.
According to self-compassion

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researcher, Kristin Neff, self-compassion has three elements.

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One is learning to respond to yourself with more understanding when you're

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struggling, rather than attacking yourself for not doing better,

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that inner support can help you feel safer and more emotionally

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regulated,

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which then puts you in a better position to cope with challenges like slow

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processing speed and experiment with change.

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Another part, the second element is recognizing that you're not alone.

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A lot of people struggle with this,

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even if it's not their exact challenge and it may not look like yours

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and maybe they don't even openly talk about it.

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You just never know what is behind that stoic facade on zoom. Right?

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And the third element is being able to acknowledge and be with your feelings,

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whether that's embarrassment, frustration, sadness,

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or some other feeling without getting completely consumed

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by it. In other words,

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notice and stay with your feelings,

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but just don't let them define you or collapse and check out.

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Then with self-compassion as your anchor,

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you'll be in a much better position to experiment with some of the following

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strategies.

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But last before moving on as I share various strategies,

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think not only about whether they might suit your needs,

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but whether they suit your preferences as well.

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'cause these really do matter too. First,

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preparing in advance when you can is perhaps the best place to

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make it easier to process information in real time. For example,

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if you're going to a scheduled meeting where you already know the topic,

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take some time beforehand to review whatever relevant information you have

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available.

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That might include the agenda notes from previous meetings,

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related emails, or other supporting information.

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You may also wanna jot down some notes beforehand,

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which might include relevant questions or just your ideas about the topic.

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That way your brain isn't simultaneously trying to retrieve old

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information from memory while also processing in real time the new

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information from the discussion.
While you may not prepare

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as much for more casual, professional, or social events,

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even preparing a little ahead of time can help.

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So if you're going to a dinner party or a networking event or other

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gathering,

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you might think ahead about a few topics you'd feel comfortable talking about.

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The benefit of this is, for one,

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it's something that you know and are interested in,

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which might help you stay engaged in the conversation.

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Maybe that's something you're reading, a hobby,

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travel or something else that genuinely interests you right now. Of course,

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you'll also wanna ask the other person or people about their take on the topic

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or related interests,

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and the goal isn't to sound polished or rehearsed,

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it's simply to give yourself a few familiar starting points so

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you don't have to do so much thinking on the fly.

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Another strategy is to build in support when possible

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so you feel more grounded,

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which might help you process better.
So if you're attending an event,

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whether social or professional,

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maybe you go with somebody you know and trust and then let them know that these

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kind of events can sometimes feel difficult for you. Well,

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you may not be glued to each other.

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Periodic check-ins can help you feel more regulated and grounded,

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making it easier to process as you do the circuit, so to speak.

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And if you attend alone,

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you might take a moment to text or connect with someone supportive during a

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break to help reset your nervous system.

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Another thing that you could try is leveraging your interest

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and curiosity to stay engaged and improve your chances of

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taking in information accurately so you can respond the way you want

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to do this.

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You can come up with questions related to what the other person or people are

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saying, and depending on the context,

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you might decide to ask these questions of the speaker or group in real time

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or just take note of them whether or not you decide to follow up later to get

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answers.
For example,

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you might be curious about whether the speaker has considered X about a project

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or how long do they think it's gonna take.

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You might even reflect back as a way of staying engaged and also clarify,

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find the information. So you might say to the person that's speaking,

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I just wanna make sure I'm understanding this correctly,

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are you saying and then reflect back what you heard,

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and on the occasion that you miss something 'cause it's gonna happen,

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you might ask them to repeat themselves. So you might say to them,

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I'm not sure if I fully got that. Can you say that again?

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Because the more you stay engaged,

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the better the chance you won't misinformation that you need to process

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meetings, whether they're one-on-one group meetings,

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formal work meetings, or even informal conversations at home about schedules,

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finances or house stuff can be especially challenging for A

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DHD adults with slow processing speed.

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Another way to make it easier to process this information

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is to take notes. Yes, even at home,

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whether or not you are able to prepare ahead of time.

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Taking notes can not only help you stay more engaged and minimize

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distractions,

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but you can also capture what is being said for use after the meeting as well

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as during the meeting.

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And taking notes can help you during the meeting because it allows you to both

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take in the information and then take note of your thoughts,

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perhaps even capturing a few bullet points to help you contribute.

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Taking notes can also reduce the load on your working memory,

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and while you wanna make sure you can understand your notes later,

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you also don't need to write complete sentences, keywords,

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symbols,

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short phrases may be effective because they allow you to also

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continue listening.

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If you're interested in learning more about how to take and process notes,

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I've included a link with the show notes on my website to post.
You can look at

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in addition to note taking,

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thinking aloud with a supportive thought partner is another way to

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externalize your thoughts and when done intentionally can be

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useful to help you process more effectively. The challenge,

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however,

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sometimes for A DHD adults is when you unintentionally start

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processing out loud in situations where you'd actually rather sound

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more organized and concise in the moment. For example,

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in a meeting or a conversation,

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you may start talking when you don't yet have enough clarity about what you

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wanna say. So you end up processing as you're speaking.

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But what this can end up sounding like to the other people is that you're

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talking in circles, adding tangents,

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overexplaining because you're not sure if they're understanding you and just

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really struggling to land your point.

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And at some point you might notice people looking at you, a little bewildered,

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sound familiar. As you know,

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generating lots of thoughts and making surprising associations can

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absolutely be an A DHD related strength.

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The question though is one of context that is,

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do you feel comfortable processing aloud in the context with the people that

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you're with? And if not,

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you may want to intentionally slow the pace of the interactions so you have more

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time to synthesize and organize your thoughts before speaking.

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One strategy is what I think of as a three sentences and check-in approach.

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So instead of trying to communicate every related thought all at once,

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try sharing a few key ideas,

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put a period at the end of your sentences and then pause to check in with the

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other person or group. For example, you might say,

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what are your thoughts about that?

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Do you think there's a better way to approach this?

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Does this make sense to you?
Another strategy,

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as I mentioned earlier,

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is to ask a follow-up question reflecting what you heard,

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to check your understanding or briefly pausing before responding.

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And though you might not feel comfortable doing this in a group conversation,

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in a one-on-one conversation, you might say,

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let me think about that for a second,

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and then literally take a few seconds to think.

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I do this all the time when I'm working one-on-one with clients.

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The goal is to ground your nervous system and slow the interaction down so

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you can collect your thoughts and decide what you want to say next.

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Whether it's sharing a thought or asking a question.

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Slower and clearer communication is of course,

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more effective than rushing to respond immediately.

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It's also important to give yourself permission to take breaks if that's

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possible.

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Whether at personal community or professional events in

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situations where you're interacting in groups,

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because you know that when you become overloaded, either socially, emotionally,

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or cognitively processing information in real time just becomes harder.

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And stepping away even briefly is one strategy you can use to help yourself

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regroup and then reengage so you can process the conversations more effectively.

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Excuse me, I have to use the restroom is always a winner.

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And because it's harder to track and process information in large groups,

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another strategy is to focus on one person or a smaller group.

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In a situation where larger group conversations start feeling overwhelming,

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you may find it much easier to stay engaged and process information in

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one-on-one interactions rather than in a loud group where everyone seems

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to be talking over each other.

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And I know as is true for many A DHD adults,

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you may put pressure on yourself to respond immediately in conversations

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even when you don't feel ready.

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But really not every response has to happen in real time.

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Of course, it always depends on the context,

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but sometimes it can be possible and even better to say, you know,

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I'd like to think about that a little more and get back to you.

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That way you can give yourself the time you need to organize your thoughts,

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regulate your emotions,

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and then respond in a way that more accurately reflects what you really think

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eventually.

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And sometimes it may help to let the person know when you'll follow up.

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You might say, lemme get back to you tomorrow, or, you know,

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I'll follow up before our next meeting,

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or whatever timeframe makes sense given the situation.

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And of course, there are times when you get to choose the environment.

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So when you do have a choice,

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you might decide you'd rather connect with people during a small dinner party,

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a walk or a coffee with one person or any other quieter

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gathering instead of a large noisy event.

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And that's not about avoidance or failure,

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it's about accepting that you may simply prefer certain kinds of social

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environments over others. And when you do have a choice,

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it's okay to take your preferences into account

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and finally

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try to focus less on performing and more on just being present.

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You do not need to impress everyone in the room often the goal is simply to

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connect, be curious, and have a few meaningful interactions.

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You don't have to master each event,

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you just need enough support instructor to show up more comfortably

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as yourself.

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What I hope you're taking away from this episode is that slow processing speed

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is not a character flaw or a sign that you're not smart.
It may simply

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mean that you need more time, more structure,

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or other strategies to help you process and respond in conversations

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the way you want. Also,

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I hope that you remember that it's okay to take your preferences into account,

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and it's also really important to experiment to find out what will work best for

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you. That's it for now,

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and I'm really glad you joined me.

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If this resonated with you and you want to hear more strategies for working with

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your A DHD,

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hit like and follow so you don't miss future episodes about re-imagining

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what productivity might be with A DHD on. Until next time,

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this has been reimagining productivity with A DHD.

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I'm Marla Cummins reminding you that A DHD doesn't define you,

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but how you work with it can shape what's possible.

