Welcome back to my friends today a recovery
interviews. I'm your host, Howard,
and I'm an alcoholic. Sober since 01/01/1988,
1 day at a time. I'm grateful you've
joined us.
Aa recovery interviews is the podcast where alcoholic
and members from around the world share their
extraordinary stories of experience, strength and hope.
There are over 150
unique interviews in this podcast series that you
can listen to on all podcast apps or
at aa recovery interviews dot com.
Today, I'm pleased to welcome to the show
marc p that whom I've gotten to know
first by Zoom and then in live meetings
at 1 of my favorite Aa clubs. Her
first exposure to alcoholic Synonymous was at age
12,
when she witnessed her father receiving his 1
year anniversary chip, but though her father maintained
his sobriety for the rest of his life.
Little was spoken of alcoholism in her home
growing up.
Like many Aa members who were raised in
or around the program,
Marcy decisions to drink were largely unaffected by
her family of origin. By the time she
started drinking in high school and increased her
alcohol consumption in college.
Marcy enjoyed the pleasant aspects of drinking, though
she often blacked out and was once hospitalized
for alcohol poisoning.
With few consequences along the way, she embarked
on a career talk full of travel and
drinking.
Married at 26,
The issue of her excessive bus was raised
and delayed many times as her functional alcoholism
provided plenty of excuses for continuing to drink.
By her early forties, the frank fabric of
Marcy life was being torn apart by her
drinking. Countless Vain attempts to stop. Were fueled
by her desire to please others, But her
own desire to quit drinking did not occur
until after she had lost her job in
marriage,
Thoroughly beaten by the disease, Marcy
desperation turned into a willingness to do whatever
she was told to stay sober.
For the first time she became accountable to
her sponsor, who methodically worked her through the
12 steps.
Combined with studying the big book, praying daily,
and being of service to her Aa fellows.
Marcy efforts to embrace Aa for herself finally
paid off with a sobriety date that hasn't
changed since May of 20 21.
Marcy willingness to share her story has been
a gift to me, I'm pleased to share
it with you
It's a story with sufficient similarities to be
a value to Aa novice and old timers
alike.
Yet with enough differences to assure even the
most skeptical listeners. That alcoholic anonymous really works
for those who do it. So please enjoy
the next 60 minutes of aa recovery interviews
with my friend and a sister
Marcy p.
My name is Marcy, and I'm an alcoholic.
Hi, Marcy. Hi. Howard? Correct answer. Good. You
win a duck.
Awesome. Thanks for being here, and thanks for
participating with me on the Aa recovery interviews
podcast. Oh Thank you for having me. You
and I are sitting in 1 of our
favorite clubs, Aa clubs in the city of
Houston,
and we just came out of a meeting.
Which was... The room was pretty full today
too.
It was. And I've gotten to know you
in this meeting over the last
3 plus years that we think we originally
met during Covid.
We did. Yes. So I came to the
club.
In 20 20 right before it shut down,
trying to
stay sober.
20 20. 20 20. Yeah. It was in,
gosh probably February
when I when I showed up here again.
Well, Had never been to this
location. I I finally was able to come
to the noon meeting. I had... Had lost
my job, had a lot more time on
my hands, and Was not going well. Why
was not going well. And I came here
at noon
have been coming ever since. I'm glad to
see you on such a regular basis because
you and I were talking before the interview,
I go to different meetings in different places,
but this particular club, I come to maybe
2 3 times a week. Yeah. And what's
cool about is I get to see you
and in at least at least 1 time
a week since you first got sober. And
and
so your sobriety date, By Friday it's 05/23/2021.
Many 20 third... So it took me Yeah.
Took me a little wild. To stick around
and stay. It's I'm glad you chose to
stay. Me too. Me too. And you try
to 8 before that? Absolutely. The When was
that? So in my twenties, when I had
first moved to Houston,
just gotten married,
I...
Was out drinking and I got a D.
Mh. And it scared me into the rooms.
That was my first time in an Aa
meeting for myself. I grew up knowing about
Aa. My dad is in was in recovery.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So in East Texas where
I grew up in Marshall,
my first day Meeting. I was 12 years
old. He was celebrating a 1 year birthday.
And I went to his meeting as kid
and watch him get his 1 year chipped
and and
and
did never wanted to go into another Aa
meeting again. So, obviously, you you grew up
with your dad while he was still actively
drinking.
I did. As a child, but I didn't
know he was an alcoholic,
Meeting he would come home from work and
sleep. And he would take a nap. And
I just knew it as he was coming
home from work to nap, and then he'd
eat dinner with us, and I'd... That was
it. I was the busy child, but,
gymnastics was kind of my life back then,
and so I wasn't at home a lot.
I was training a lot, and
and he...
So that was it. It I never knew
him
as a drunk or,
you know, drinking too much. He hit it
very well
My mom probably had a lot to do
with that, protecting the girls. I have an
older sister.
So I knew him sober. I really did.
When I turned... When I was 12 years
old, and he
had a 1 year chip. I...
Our relationship changed forever, and we've been close
ever since. No. Prior to that. You weren't
necessarily that close. I mean, we were we
were a close family, but he... Like I
said, he was at work. He came home
and nap. We dinner together every night Yeah.
And that was it. But we never
probably, you know, talked and connected, like, but
I also a kid and Yeah. I don't
remember a lot of that. I really don't.
He went to treatment, and and he had
always had bad knees and multiple.
Knee surgeries
since he was in high school, like,
14 knee surgeries by the time he it
was 40. So pills were a lot of
his problem too. But,
they... He went to a 30 day treatment
center
when... You know, I guess, I was probably
11. And
and they told me, my mom, told me
it was for his niece. They... They didn't
tell me. He was going for alcoholism. Wow.
I found that out later. Told Did did
you notice when you were a kid, any
difficulties that your parents had between them as...
What you might know now would have been
his alcoholism?
I I do now... Mean, my my older
sister was...
She was 3 years older than me, So
fifth teen at a at a moore
a wear age, I think and so she...
I remember her coming to my room, a
couple of times and crying because mom and
dad were fighting.
And I I didn't understand why she was
so upset about it because I always thought
no deal.
They'll be fine. What did she what did
she tell you about it? Did she did
she give you any ideas that made you
think maybe it was... Because your to head
drinking of Yep. Just domestic wobble. Right. I
never knew. They... They... They must have tried
to protect me from the whole drinking thing.
I I didn't know about alcoholism at all
until I went to that Aa meeting,
and saw a bunch of men smoking and
clapping first for sobriety date. Did I thought,
what is this? So you're 12 you're 12
years old, and you're going to your very
first date. Meeting. Right. Was that went to
and until? That was I was done with.
What what did you think about it? Well,
I thought it was a bench of old
men who couldn't stop drinking. I remember even
feeling so almost feeling sorry for my dad.
Like, always, he's gotta go to this...
Meetings. That's so sad and never drink again
that that that must be awful.
That's what I kinda thought about it. And
and then he would say
I'm an alcoholic.
And I and I thought that you you
don't drink anymore. Why do you call yourself
an alcoholic? That's not right. And I would
argue a little bit of about about that
with him? Like, why do you why do
you tell yourself that? Because that's not true.
That's an interesting perspective to have as a
kid as a an adolescent. And going into
your teenage years to know that your dad
is in aa, but you don't understand why
he's there, and we're only expose exposure to
it is this meeting of old man. Any
Texas small town, you know, it's it
not a lot of... Meeting options
for for the people there. So that was
his for his first A birthday. Yeah. Yeah.
And. He's been sober...
He passed away last year, but he died
us sober man.
He was over, gosh, 30 something years sober.
I don't I don't remember
the exact date. Well I mean, I don't
know it was in March, but I don't
remember these year, I guess. So what sort
of things did you see going on when
you were a kid and your dad was
sober?
That would have involved other silver people and
parties where they weren't serving alcohol and that
sort of thing. Did you notice any of
that? I did. What I would notice is
my dad helped he was big into the
service part of the program. Mh. And had
a great sponsor.
And I got to know his font. I
mean, this... His sponsor and other men from
the program came to the house a lot.
We we had a lot of activities with
people from A, and I never knew how
my parents were very... They they grew up
in Marshall, Texas. They were high school sweetheart.
Everybody knew who they were, and they were
very social.
So I didn't know who these people were.
All a sudden all these new people were
were calling the house,
you know, and my dad's meeting up with
these men, and and I and it it
did open my eyes to, like, how he
was helping people. Like, oh, that's really that's
really great. And then the other thing, and
I remember this, it
vividly.
He had quiet time every morning. He'd get
up before anybody in the house. And my
dad and I had that early morning thing
in common. I was a morning person.
And I would go up to where, you
know, the Mark kitchen area and he'd be
on his knees.
With his bible with the big book and
his he had terrible knees, and I used
to get like, I I would read until
my mom, dad's in pain. He's hurt.
Like something's wrong with him. And he's on
his knees and he's, you know, his eyes
are closed and she'd say, no, Marcy, he's
having his quiet time. Oh, with God. And
so, and and I am, I was curious
about that. We grew up going to church
every Sunday, and I just knew him as
a religious man. Not a... Not necessarily, like...
This 1 on 1 relationship with with God.
And I I was curious about that as
a kid in high school, and I would
ask my dad about that, and he said
it's part of the program I'm in is
I I start my day with gratitude.
And and he told me and shared else
a lot about it with me, what he
did in the mornings and what he would
read. And
and, so that it was special we always
because of Aa always had. Even way before
I was
drinking.
Mh. I was always curious about how his
relationship with god That's interesting. Yeah. So knowing
what you know now about Aa
looking back at that time, were there are
other things in addition to the service work
that he was doing
that demonstrated to you what Aa was about
without you actually knowing it until you came
into the program you yourself. Gosh. Yes. Like
what? Like,
the kind of... Oh, he made a amend.
He made a amend to me and my
sister with our minister from the methodist of
church.
He,
So so, like, that process, he he had
us after school in a room at the
church with... With the minister who... We were
very close to.
He was the family friend. And and we,
we were there and my dad share to
this that he didn't feel like he had
been the father,
he wanted to be and that it was
gonna be different going forward. And if we
had any questions, and I just was baffled.
I just remember being so baffled then, like,
he's been a great dad. Like, he's thought
of everything I need. But why is he
being so hard on himself. How long had
you been sober by that point?
Probably 6 months. I mean, like, I didn't
even know this first year. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
And my sister was a lot more emotional
about it and and probably had a lot
more to say about it. But I was
like, great, dad. How far. This is awesome
Mh. So so there's things like that, like,
he was making amend.
He was doing the service work.
His morning meditations, like, all of these things
that I started to notice and do and
or and see
were,
of course, evident to me now. Like, these
are the steps. These he lived the steps.
Yeah. Yeah. That's... Amazing. And it really is.
And to and to see it now and
to know looking back what he was doing
back then that you didn't understand back then.
Right. Right. But it had its impact nonetheless
the.
Totally. It totally did. And it obviously did
as, you know, my son,
was 11 when I got sober were. And
amazing. And that's something
history repeating it So... Well, a little bit.
Yeah. I I think my struggle know, my
dad was a 1 and done
type,
he went to treatment and hand had to
drink sense, and that was not my story.
You So that hasn't been my story.
But but so when, you know, when I
went to my next day a meeting. So
I had gotten a D living in a
new city in Houston,
newly married. And So there's a lot of
time between that very first. Yeah. I exposed
Girl. Then. Now when you were younger than
that, and you you mentioned that you really
didn't see any alcoholic behavior.
Earl exhibited by your father? He'd come home
and take a nap. Were there any other
things that looking back now that would have
predicted that he would end up in a.
Not that I I was noticing.
You know, I think that to, as a
kid, I was I was in my own
world. Like, I I've know this now. Like,
I was the very
day dream.
You know, people please are and day dream.
And so, like, I know this about me.
And maybe I wasn't
living in the reality of what my home
life what? You know, I I didn't... I
had great parents.
I had nothing to complain about. They provided.
You know, I was I was really into
gymnastics we trained.
All the time, 4 hours. Mh. After school,
4 days a week on the weekend.
And my dad played a golf So he
was at the golf course on Saturday and
Sunday, and that was our life. Like, I
didn't see that. I really didn't... You know,
I wasn't home much.
And that went on until I was about
12, and and I got to middle school
and,
you know, stopped. Pursuing gymnastics and... Was there
any alcoholism on either side of the families
that you're aware of? Yes. My dad's
dad
was also alcoholic. Yeah. And and I don't
know his story very much. I... I never
got to really learn that whole, but he
he died sober as well.
But my dad's at upbringing was not an
easy 1. And because of his alcohol, he
was adopted right. And
his alcoholic father was very very tough on
him. Yeah.
So on that side, and, of course, through
the years, we've discovered who the biological parents
are, but there was not... I don't believe
there was alcoholism from... Oh, there was maybe
from the biological mother. I really don't. I
don't know. And on my mom's side, my
grand ad never,
wasn't an admitted alcoholic, but drank
a lot
and never got... Never said did not die
drunk. I mean, it
it would have never dawned on him. And
in fact, I saw him 1 time at
a wedding. He was gu a glass of
wine, and I had remembered him telling me
he didn't drink anymore and I said, Da,
if you don't drink anymore. And he said,
I'm not drinking,
and he met whiskey. Like, he didn't see
wine as alcohol.
Yeah. But he wasn't... He he wasn't in
the program or nothing.
And my dad and his dad that raised
him were
in the program. That's... That is lit... All
I know about...
And my mom never drink. Like, I never...
They never even had alcohol at the house.
I never saw alcohol. She's not a drinker.
Yeah. Did she ever sit down and have
1 of those discussions with you as a
kid and about
about drinking or about drugs or any of
that sort of thing that you can recall.
Not that I can recall at all. That's
not unusual for this generation.
Mh. When I got to high school, we
talked about it because, People started drinking. Yeah.
And I would get in trouble, you know,
if I I'd drank. And I knew that
I'd be trouble if I drink. Like, like,
somehow I knew that. Yeah. That wasn't gonna
be accept accepted. But...
Yeah. It's the I I hid every... You
know,
I hit everything from my parents. So I
I wanted to... I was a very big
people leader. I wanted them to to be
very pleased about my behavior. So so when
when did you take your first strain? I
was a freshman in high school. I was
at a towels, girls, slumber party, and we
drank some purple fashion,
and that's... I remember that being my first
drink,
could have taken it or or leave it.
I mean, I remember
the warm fuzzy feeling? Yeah.
The light headed, the laughing. I remember all
of that, but did... It it was not
an immediate love of my life. So it
didn't make you wanna repeat it
Anytime soon? No. I also was afraid of
getting in trouble too. Getting caught. Mh.
Oh, I... That freshman year sophomore year. Yeah.
I mean, it wasn't a big thing for
me early on. So you went through high
school without drinking or... No. Watch your drink.
I drink at parties. Weed was around.
I I probably tried weed, and I I
did. I didn't care for it. I definitely
like drinking better than we'd... We had, you
know,
I think about it Now. I really didn't
like beer. I didn't what we were drinking.
So, you, when we'd go get maybe da
from S port, you know, we... I lived
on the Louisiana border. So the drinking age
was 18, like when I was 16 over
there. And so we would go get da
from Louisiana and that I liked. That was
good. But
my drinking took off definitely when I got
to college. I got in trouble too much
in high school for drinking. I... It was
it was not
What what kind of trouble did you get
into? I came home drunk 1 night and
got grounded
and couldn't drive my car
and
And that I was miserable. And this is
after your dad's already in a. Right? Oh,
yeah. Yeah. I I did. I came home.
I... And and I been drinking, and and
I came home and my mom could tell.
I I lied to my parents a lot
about, like, where I was going and who
I was going with if there was gonna
be drinking involved, she'd... If they didn't like
the people I was hanging out with, and
I didn't tell him. I would tell him
I'm going here. So I would get caught
in these locks... Eyes for no reason, like
just silliness. So I was never a very
honest
kid. And
it... But drinking with it was not a
problem in high school. I I was not
at... I was even... I would say in
every weekend drinker at all. So you were
the. Occasional drinker, you enjoyed it when you
did it? Yeah.
And and the times that you got in
trouble that your folks found out about it.
We're talking about a time that's,
let's say,
5 to 8 or 9 years past your...
The first time you ever experienced.
Aa.
Oh, yeah. Okay see your day. Yeah. Did
did your dad ever say anything to you
during that time about drinking? No. He didn't.
Mh. That's good. That's good. The reason I'm
saying that's good is because a parent. Yeah.
I know that there's nothing that I could
say to my children
to dis them except to get... Share my
own experience about being an alcoholic, and I
had to do that with my own kids
at some point and
I think it I think it made a
big difference in their lives, but
I also know that it's very difficult for
people who are in na
to influence their own kids stay sober
beyond their own experience.
So your your dad was... I guess he
was pretty cool about that with you. Yeah.
I... Maybe he'd he didn't see... I... You
know, I was definitely more
monitored by my mother.
She wanted to know what was going on
who Was going with where I was go
in to call the check. I didn't see
that as much for my dad probably because
my mom has already taken care of it.
Yeah. And so
I think they both understood that people in
in high school are gonna...
There's gonna be alcohol around So... But they
had to punish us. I mean, we couldn't
just
just drink. And,
oh, this is 1 thing I haven't told
you My dad owned a liquor, store.
So 1 of our family businesses
is a liquor store. And
and, you know, it's it's a good business.
And it always bothered my dad once he
was in the program, but he had aa
people working there. It was... It was kind
of baffling, but,
bothered It started to bother him later, you
know, as he was so longer. He was
like, just... It doesn't feel right or something,
but it supported a lot of things, and
so it it was not sold until much
later in his life. So I had... My
family was involved in a liquor store when
I was 18, and I was, you know,
a senior in high school. I we try
to get the booze from there. You know,
it was just
out call was around, but,
it wasn't... I don't know. I I never
would go in the liquor... You know, I
would never
get in trouble trying to... A so your
friends were trying to get you to go
in and get them liquor. They really weren't.
Like, we we were scared of that liquor
store. Like, we've even avoided it because
because it was... You get in trouble but.
We'd know. Yeah. Yeah. Like, somebody everybody knew
who we
were. So wasn't gonna... We couldn't get alcohol
that way. But
it it was it was in the family.
Put it that way. It was a business.
My grand dad started. So I I went
off to college. I I left. 08:18
and,
never wanted to go, but I, you know,
being from a small town and everybody knows
you. I I really wanted to leave in
and never lived there again. That was my
goal when I left. I loved my parents,
but did not wanna
gold in a small town. I really wanted...
To live a big city life. So I
left when I was 18. We grew up,
kinda going into Dallas as the big city,
and I just loved Dallas. That's so. I
went to the college, really close to Dallas
was Tc. In Fort worth, that is when
I fell in love with drinking. Is that
a party school? Would you say? I would
say it is. And was I would say
it even shifted to the party school in
the nineties. So I was there at 96.
That was my freshman year. I was a
big cheerleader. I mean, I did it. All
through high school and taught it in the
summer. And I did it for a job.
I knew I wanted to be a cheerleader
leader in college.
Get to Tc my freshman year. I find
that that, you know, the TTI
make the team
within a month, I went to 2 practices
and quit. It was the love of my
life for since I was 12, and I
thought I would do it all 4 years
in college and I discovered
alcohol and and partying with so much more
fun than getting up at 8 in the
morning to go to cheer. So you just
just decided to quit it up. I gave
it up. That was the first time, my
dad and said, well, why are you doing
that? Is that because you wanna
drink and hang out, You know, and and
party more and us and I was like,
no. That's not it. It's just... I don't
I don't wanna do it. In college. She
told him a story, but you... You what
you knew
totally new that I did not wanna put
in the work. It's too hard. When.
Yeah. Yeah. No. That I got in the
way. That would have gotten in the way.
Big time to I chose pledge Short, and
and I really was meeting all these new
fun girls, and
and we were all in on Thursday, Friday
and Saturday night. Didn't miss a Thursday Friday
or Saturday night by freshman here.
I I'd I really... What kind of drink
were you? Were you a blackout? Drinker or
worse... Yes. You were. Not always. U. It
wasn't every night. But
yes, I would drink until... I I drank
until I couldn't, you know, until the bar
closed. And then if we were going somewhere
afterwards, I was there. So you had no
self regulation. No. Mh. What did you think
about that at the time? During college, I...
During that freshman year, I didn't really think
about it as much because I felt like
everybody was doing that. Sure. I felt like
we were all, you know, drinking like I
drink, but I don't know that they were.
But when I went home to Marshall for
this summer, that summer after the freshman year,
and I found myself wanting to drink
every day. It was a... It was I
was missing drinking because, you, Was home with
my... Mom and dad and not doing much,
and I got a summer job, but I
I found myself
go wanting to go get you know, whiskey
to put in my diet coke at night.
While it it's home. Oh you own? Not
drinking with anybody else. And that that was,
like, well, that's not... That's probably not normal.
So you were pretty habit to alcohol by
that point. Yeah. I mean, all through college
drinking was...
Was important to me. Mh. It it was...
If it wasn't around, I didn't wanna go.
So what were the consequence is from all
that drinking and college. The content which has
started in college. So I was hospitalized.
Junior year. I was probably 20 21.
I was drinking
heavily.
I was dating who became my husband. We're
we're out
and and I'm passed out. And it's, like,
08:00. And he's concerned and and he's like,
how did she drink so much already? And
and there was a bartender that he was
concerned had slipped something in my drink. It's
kind of the time when the... When...
People were getting slipped, you know.
Roof. Yes. So... And this bartender had kind
of
rev reputation for possibly doing this to girls,
So that was his immediate thought. I don't
remember the night at all, but he called
my sister
and
said something's wrong with Marcy. I think she's
been drugged. She can't walk. She can't talk.
It's 09:00.
What what do we do and he's told...
She's said, well, we've probably got take her
to the hospital, said they did.
Was no drugs found in my body, and
my alcohol level is neuro coma. So my
parents were called, and they came up to
Fort worth, and that was the first time
they were concerned. That that incident started
their...
And questioning
my drinking behavior, and me starting to hide
it. What was that feeling like when they
came in the room and saw you? Oh,
I'm I thought this is all a mistake.
You guys have labor over reacted.
I... You know, I hadn't eaten all day.
Yeah.
The alcohol, I really, you know, I really
still think something was put in my drink,
you know, all the otherwise, you're you're telling
and and
and they were like, well,
I don't see any of your other friends.
You know, everybody drinks Yeah. Shot and... So
they weren't buying the lie where they. Oh
No.
No. Your dad probably saw right through it
to sydney me. Yeah.
Yeah. They asked me if I was drinking
daily, Marcy did, do you black out every
time you drink. Of course, I'm no. No.
This never up. This is never happened.
Yeah. So the lies got started. They continued,
and and I really did start to try
to control this thing. Like, okay. I can't
get sloppy. This is not working out. I
gotta that's tough. Slow.
We'll be right back.
My friends, if you're enjoying Aa recovery interviews,
I invite you to check out my latest
audio book,
alcoholic anonymous, The story of how more than
100 men have recovered from alcoholism.
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And we're back.
The question is
about your your boyfriend at the time who
eventually became your husband.
How did your drinking change as a result
of that real
relationship or did it stay the same, and
he was just added to the party? We
did party together. I always...
My drinking was always...
An issue with him. My relationship with my
girlfriends changed. I spent a lot more time
with him. Yeah. I understandable. Yeah. And so...
And we drank together, and I always
drink him every time. So he wanted to
slow down or stop at some point.
I don't wouldn't say that, but he couldn't
understand why I would have to get so
drunk. And and it would... It was a
question that that carried through? Like, why do
you have to drink so much?
I drink before I saw him and and
then,
you know, he would think my fur my
first drink with him was my first drink.
Yeah. He didn't like to drink his much
as I did. It was always more important
for me
whenever we were together. Like Well, let's get
a bottle of wine, or we're gonna watch
a movie at your house. Let's get a
bottle of wine. I always had to have
alcohol. So you mentioned that there were some...
That that was an issue between you.
And him... We're talking about the years between,
let's say,
22 23, and whenever it was you guys
got married, and then that pre proceeds Aa
by how many years. Let's see. So I
was 26 when I got my first seat...
My only for and only D and went
to Aa, and then we got married at
25. So... But we were together
since I was 19. So 19 to 25
years old, and then my first Day a
meeting here was 26. Okay. So you were
26.
Mh. When you went to that first. Yeah.
Aa meeting. Yeah. And he was he was
not with me.
When I got arrested,
He was already home that night, I stayed
at the bars to keep drinking. Mh. And...
With other friends or by yourself? No. With
other friends, and I took a friend home
and then got pulled over on the way
home by myself
to... Then they arrested me as they should
have. I was driving in a blackout. Did
they do a breath at the scene? I'd
refused the breath fertilizer, but they did a
roadside test and
and that is sufficient? That was efficient. They
took me in. What did that situation look
like when you got to the police station
and and everything else What were you thinking
at the time?
It was terrible bowl. I was horrified
in more fear than I've ever been in
in my life at that moment. Yeah. Not
knowing what's gonna happen. Right. Not knowing what's
gonna happen, just awful Who was the first
person you called? My husband. Your husband. I
called my husband first.
And you guys been married a year.
Not even problem even a year and you're
getting arrested for D?
Yeah. When you went to the police station,
did they put you in jail for the
night? Yes. That will they take you out
to a women's holding facility Facility. Yeah.
The the
transportation from downtown because they take you downtown
as a woman to book you, but then
they take you out to this other facility
that's not anywhere near downtown, It's a women's
holding facility.
And then if you're there for 24 hours,
then they take you to back downtown and
to county or something. So I was downtown,
and this officer
tells me that I can make a call
before I go, and I called my husband
and told him what was happening.
I don't remember how that call went, but
I do believe you woke up, I, it
was like, 2 or 3 in the morning.
And he's the 1 that came to get
me out the next day. What happened on
the way to the women's holding facility I
got
I was in so much fear and
in an alcoholic haze and
craziness
that
I... Okay. So
so,
I was handcuffed in the back seat, and
I'm asking the police off sir who's telling
me... Because I didn't recognize anywhere I was
going and
and I'm asking him where you taking me?
You said 8 miles. It's been longer.
And,
the
the officer wouldn't answer me. And so I
shi and started kicking my way out of
the cup car. Window. I did all the
way. I didn't know that. Yeah. I did.
It's okay. I don't... You know, my parent,
my mom might hear this.
So she she was not like me just
sharing that everywhere. Oh, okay. Well, I didn't
realize that that but No It's fine. The
thing about that story that gets me is
that you... They had to switch you to
another cop car. Because I because I did
kick it all the way out. Yeah. And
that yank the cop who you or in
the? Yeah. Yeah. Did they kinda go? He
went.
Pulled all over and wrestled me to the...
Oh, no. Yeah was terrible and I had
have handcuffs on, and, yeah. Was he's like,
kicked it out and was trying... I mean,
I kept...
After this whole thing, I kept waiting to
see myself on the Tv show kicked box.
You know? I was... And and I was
horrible that really did. That was the beginning
of, like, I'm not drinking anymore that terrible
And yeah. So I I barely made it,
like, my legs were cut up and because
I saved the window out the car. Yes.
That's wild. That's how my bad. I want
out of there. Well, I can
determined that. I imagine if you were doing
that you weren't buckled in. Right? I didn't...
I don't think On there I was not
back I was paycheck that. So I was
trying to shi me my way out of
a moving car car.
It makes sense the the jump doesn't it.
I mean, yeah. That's how messed up I
was. And this is at 26 years old,
and
they pull over and and another officer arrives,
and they took... Me to the Macau holding
facility where
hours later,
from my husband came to get me. So
you were freaking out I was out... Take
Must made that must have freaked the cop
too. It did. Wild woman in the back
backseat seat. Wild the woman. And
you know... Still to this stay. It's a
it's a haze of what was going on,
but
I was charged with the D.
Yeah. And that was it. And Court was
awful. I... You know, you go for almost
a year and you have to do the
community service and they take your license then.
I mean, all the things
after the probation,
it comes off your record and it got
me into my first day Meeting. So you
were sentenced, like, a lot of people off
in Rf. Or Dui wise or D,
or Pi i's. You were sentenced to Aa
to x number of meetings. Did you have
to get a paper signed. I believe I
did. Mh. A paper sign. I had to
take some sort of drunk driving course. Yeah.
That was 6 weeks long. I... You know,
I had to do a lot of things
to check a lot of boxes.
But but I don't remember having to get
an Aa paper signed very long or very
very much Pretty short term yeah punishment
Yeah. What were you thinking when you were
sitting in those Aa meeting?
Well, I went to the first 1, so
you you remember of my my first day,
meaning, when you were 12. When I was
12, And so I go...
I find the club,
and I walk in there, and I was
almost relieved
because I saw girls there, my age.
I saw...
You know, it was just like a mixed
crap, there were tons of people there. And
I was like, well, oh, wow.
Okay.
And
a friend of mine, it was kind of
a god thing, a friend of mine that
I had been in college with, who I
knew, but we didn't hang out a lot.
Was in the rooms and 2 years sober.
Oh, wow. So she pulls me aside,
you know, tells me... Erin he's gonna be
k.
And I was geared sober at that time
in my life because I have a going
to court and
I never wanted to go to Jail again.
Houston texas was like, I was I was
scared. And then when I saw her at
that first meeting, and she was
So happy and cute and fun, still without
alcohol. And I was like, well, she's fun.
So
I I clicked to her and followed her
around, like, a little puppy dog. And she
said, well, this isn't the meeting in town.
I wanna take you to other
meetings if you wanna go and she, and
I met her at various meetings,
oliver her town and she kind of
broke
the Aa
for me, if you will. And and I
really,
you know, I really appreciate that. When you
were still pretty young at this point. Yeah.
26. In 26, and you go into your
first a a meeting? Mh. How long did
that last?
Well, I stayed sober longer than I stayed
going to Aa. 20 Really? Yeah. III
was having really good results, not drinking. I
got a better... I got a job. Mh.
A job I let.
I felt better. I slept better. I looked
better.
My... The home life was better. You know,
everything was better. So I just but meetings,
I did not love.
The woman that was helping me, like, she
was really involved in A, and I just
didn't ever find myself.
Really involved or working the steps. And what
was your relationship with your dad like... Oh,
exciting.
It got exciting. You got it exciting. While
you were... You were in the program. He's
in the program. Yes. The 2 of you
could speak the same language? Yes. What was
that like? Well, I think for him, it
was probably like, working with a Po or
something. Pretty hopeful in it. Yes. Like the
energy behind it was very
hopeful, exciting, you know, just
I think there was relief.
So... But he wanted for you what he
had. But you didn't want from him what
you had. Well, yeah. He wanted for me
what what he had, but I didn't I
didn't want. How he got it. Like, you
know, like that, I really didn't understand like,
why
I had to do Aa. When I was
I was doing just fine. Not drinking. So
you did just fine You did just fine
for a while
8. Yeah. How long did you stay sober
that kind. I I don't remember but it
was at least until the coordinates were over,
and and I had this new job. So
it was probably about a year, and I
started drinking
again. I started drinking again and did not
have the consequences
like, before right away. So so it was
working out. Yeah. So you became a functional
alcoholic. Right. Right. Yeah. What was that like?
Not as much fun, but I definitely
wanted to be drinking again. We were in
the time in our life where a lot
of our friends were getting married, so we
were going to fun places, and and I
wanted to be drinking at every place I
went. And even work required me to travel
all the time. To really fun places and
nice dinners and and I wanted to drink
at those places. So you could drink on
the company dime. Right.
And you were traveling, so you could drink
in
airplanes, hotels Hotels? Yes. Wow, that's an ideal.
Set up for an alcoholic in?
It was. Did you ever get out of
hand? Oh, yeah. In what ways. Unable to
go to work the next day because I'm
so hung.
Set so missing work. I didn't ever have
another consequence like a D, so it was
all manageable. But but I was lying. I
was lying to people. I was telling my
mom and dad I wasn't drinking still. So
so the lie was getting tough. And people
who aren't problem drinking don't have to tell
people that they're not drinking. Right? They don't.
No. They don't. It's so it's so obvious
and right. No. Yeah. So so your husband
knew that they're you were drinking, even though
you were denying it, The folks knew that
you were probably drinking,
everybody knew except to the... Extent that you
didn't wanna admit it. Right. So how long
did that get why? Well, I I had
my son during all that... To so I
got pregnant with my son in 2009.
And so so it it lasted for a
good
5
07:10 years. This often on
drinking.
Did you stop drinking while you were pregnant?
Mostly. I was very sick when I was
pregnant.
But I did have wine. The what I
would tell myself is that that... That's okay.
People used to drink when when they were
pregnant, you know,
before they knew that it was bad.
And so that was the lie I would
tell myself. I I was I was too
sick pregnant. So I really didn't wanna drink.
Yeah. It wasn't a... It wasn't until after.
I had him that that I started drinking
daily. It was the first time I really
started drinking daily in my life. So here
you you'd you started Drinking after that aa,
court mandated
sentence yeah expired. You went all way through
having the kid. Yeah. So I'm in my
early thirties. Was about 2011.
He's 2 or 3 that I'm drinking daily.
I'm back to work. I only took, you
know, 2 months off. Yeah. When I had
my son. So I'm I'm back in this
cycle of of drinking again, and it started
to become daily every night, to So I'd
put my son to bed and, you know,
I... Just counting down the minutes to to
have my wine and and I drank until
I passed out every night. What was your
husband saying about it at the time?
You drink too much. Why do you have
to drink every night? This is a problem?
You should stop. To the childcare?
Default to him?
No. We had a full time nanny. We
were both in very high demand jobs and
we had... She didn't live with us, but
I would get home from work. And then
my Nanny would leave, and I would, you
know, have my wine and take care of
our son, and he would to bed 08:00.
Yeah. You know? So I a whole few
more hours. So to drink and my husband
can understand
why I was having to drink every... Out
night. Mh. And most of those nights get
drunk.
He and my parents because they knew it
by this time I was drinking again, encourage
me to go back to Aa. And I...
I did go back to Aa again in
my thirties. In your thirties. Mh.
So was that at the end of people's
urging you to do so? Or did you
make that decision for yourself? No. My... I
went.
Because of people urging me to do so?
Okay. So everybody wants you to go to
A, but.
But me. But yeah. So how long did
you go back? About 6 months Chase months.
And what was that like? Well, I got
a sponsor.
She was wonderful.
Now, this was at the same club that
you came in at? No. No. Found another
meeting. We had moved to this neighborhood.
I found the Thursday night meeting. I walked
into there 1 Thursday night to make... I
everybody happy at home. Yeah. And that's a
good meeting dot. It's a great meeting. Yeah.
And
I I've found, I mean, I called a
lady, the she gave me her card. I
called her the next day.
Because I had prop pretty sure I'd left
the meeting that night. And drank, and
she told me to call her, so I
did, and I asked her to sponsor me.
And I think I was torn. I I
think I wanted to want to be sober
at that point. I really did, and I
really fell in love with this woman, and
she was willing to help me and
everything she was saying made sense.
I knew... Like, it was, like, everything started
clicking this time. Like I'm willing to do
the work work I was not willing to
be honest with her or do the work.
That makes it tough. That's it. It's... Yeah.
It makes it very unsuccessful. I'm sad. I
got the result. The same result I've been
getting. In 6 months.
It III
was sober for about 3 of those 6
months. That's it.
Mh.
Yeah. And... Tell you the task on that
that she know that you were. Yes. Yeah.
Yeah. But and I felt really bad. And
and even to this day, when I worked
the steps this time, she was in amend
that I made. Because I felt like, I
had lied to her and
Manipulated her, just like I was doing to
my parents and
my
family, I was... Telling them 1 thing, I
was not being honest with myself.
And so... And I felt like she had,
you know, put in this time,
because I was telling her 1 thing and
thinking something else. And so,
I still haven't been back to that meeting.
Yeah. And here I... You know, over 3
years over, and it's a great... There's... I
know, you know, a lot of people that
go there, but it's still a good meaning.
Still a great meeting. And I... And and
I called her and made amend, and, I
mean, couldn't have couldn't have gone better. She
knew.
Is there a reason why you don't wanna
go back to that too.
No. You just... I'm haven't. You just said...
I just have it. It's 08:00 at night,
and I usually doing other things on a
Thursday night. I get that. Yeah get that.
Yeah. So
where are we at time frame wise? So
that's
my mid thirties. Mid thirties. We're talking about
the
2000 tens...
Yes. Yeah. Yeah. My son's pretty little still
the hit 4 or 5. Okay. So so
I did the Aac thing again,
just for that brief time.
Had you convince yourself by that time that
that a wasn't for you. You you had
your own ways of wanting to do things.
Yeah. Well, I had convinced myself that I
did not...
That with the job I had. Yeah. That
I was not gonna be able to do
A aa. What the people in Were telling
me to do? Because you were so busy.
I was was busy, I was traveling all
over,
you know, the country. And drinking was just
all part of the scenery and Yeah,
I couldn't get a meeting. I was like,
I can't get a meeting. So Wow. So
I'm never here. And I wasn't it. I
really wasn't it, but there were meetings all
heard the place. Not could've have gone to
meeting. Well so... Take us from that point
up to the point when the bottom fell
out, and and you got into aa...
Everything fell Howard. When I had gotten into
aa again in my thirties and messed up
up relationship with the sponsor who I really
respected. Oh, yeah. I art I didn't wanna
go back to Aa.
I wanted to drink 1 of the consequences
to go away, but they didn't. They got
worse. I ended up losing everything. So I
lost the job that I loved.
I lost the marriage.
That,
you know, was the love of my life
since I was 19.
My son... You know, I that my family
for the first time, split apart because of
my drinking.
In 2018,
it was a... That was a a year
where everything changed in my home life.
My husband,
was told at 1 of the treatment centers
I went to that
drinking had been such a big part of
our
life that that
it was gonna have to be removed from
the house.
And
and and and not that I wanna tell
his story, but
he
heard that, it has not had a drink
since.
And he wanted
that for me. Like, when I was in
that treatment center in 20018,
we decided our family's gonna say together, we're
gonna be sober. This is a sober home.
We're gonna raise our son in a sober
environment.
When you come home, that's it. No more.
Drinking. And I went home
and drank.
And he has never drank sent. And so
so the relationship ended
shortly after... But he's down a, is he?
No. Okay.
No. A? Did A on for a while.
Yeah.
And would probably go back.
Yeah. I love that program. Yeah. Love that
program
1 of those things that kinda led up
to the deb divorce too, because
Does give people a different perspective on their
lives. Oh, yeah. And boundaries and and, you
know, detached with love. He worked that program
and detached with love and gave boundaries
and
was very,
I mean, stern with the... This is not
a drinking home.
So,
when I would drink,
he asked me to leave. So anytime a
relapse or a drink was
happening or he and he knew,
every time. So Where did you go when
you left? A hotel. A hotel. Was a
very sad existence for a while. That's where
my alcohol is a took me. I was
not working. I was.
My family didn't want me around if I'm
drinking, but yet, it's the obsession, and it's
all I could think about. It's all... You
know, I would wake up every morning. I'm
not gonna drink, and then I would be
drinking
by noon. Mh. But he's like, you can't
be around our kid. You're not gonna be
around our son.
So I would go to a hotel and,
you know, it's
just for 2 days and drink and then
try to guess somewhere. And I would end
up in it, like, a sober living or
a... Another recovery center? I'm curious about the
frame of mind that you had during that
time.
Were you going to the halfway houses or
treatment to change the consequences
or were you going because you really wanted
to get sober? I really wanted to get
sober. You felt that way deep down.
Yes. Yeah. You know, we
when we did split up... And then I
I came back in here.
I came back to Aa. Last resort. Right?
Nothing else is working. I've been to treatment,
everybody around me can get sober, but I'm
still drinking, which something's wrong with me. Oh,
gosh. There's that Aa. Gotta go back to
aa. So I'm go... I come back here,
and and this was the a meeting and
a group of people that told me.
To come back. Like, come back if you
drink.
So I did that, and it saved me.
I didn't feel like I couldn't come back,
how long did you do that for? I
mean, a a year 20 20 to 05/23/2021.
Okay with months of sobriety here and there.
Because I remember you on the Zoom. Yeah.
When you had slipped and then you you
surprisingly said,
I need to get a desired chip or
I drank. Yeah. And you had a couple
months or something. 30 days, I think days.
Like first time you get a 30 day
chip. And how many times you get a
decade shipped during that time. At least at
least 3. 3 times. Yeah. But I even
got a 90 day chip twice. Yeah. And
I remember that too. Did You know, it
talks about the insanity. I'd never felt insane
until I look back and realize how insane
I was. Couldn't shake that obsession, and then
I wasn't doing everything I was being told
to do. Mh. I wasn't calling. I wasn't
really opening up to my sponsor yet. I
was I was still trying to do this
on my own and trying to figure out
everything, You know, instead of just following instructions.
I remember I remember the early days when
you
when we came off of Covid, and we
went back to the live meetings was having
the first time you had go on the
live meetings here at this particular club. I
I had started coming about a month before
it shut down. Okay. So So you you
came, and then we went to the Zoom,
and then
how how much time passed until you were
back live.
I came back to wouldn't it open back
up Okay. So very quickly. It was a
small group of us. Yeah. But I was
here every everyday. And we were meeting on
the parking lot out. We did that too.
Yeah. Yep is to be away from confined
space. Yes. And masks, we wore masks here
for a lot more masks here as well.
Yeah. When we came back in.
It was the highlight of my data to
come here every day. And,
there Covid was unique in itself. It was
being an unemployed,
you know,
trying to get... My families let me back
in the house. I'm walking on egg shells.
I couldn't wait to come out to any
meaning. It was... It was the first time
in my life, in all of my history
with with the program that I was really
seeking it. So you really wanted it by
this. I I'm... Was starting to believe what
y'all were saying that y'all were actually happy.
This is the first time that Marcy is
doing this for Marcy, not for the folks
percent family. Hundred percent. Your kid not for
your...
I guess your ads. They're all a part
of it, but a hundred percent. I have...
I mean, I cannot live like this anymore.
I'm going to die. So you hit your
bottom? Yeah. Sounds like you might have hit
it a few times? I did. Yeah. Well
what was that like? Did you think you'd
get back? I thought each bottom would be
done would be the last 1. It can't
get cannot get worse than this. It can't,
and it believe me it can. Had you
ever gotten to the point that you felt
like giving up on Aa and just giving
up in general? No. So you had a
sense of hope. Mh. While you were wanting...
Yes. This program to work. Yes.
Big time. I never lost hope. I think
the people trying to support me did.
I don't think my dad did. He he
helped my mom a lot through that process.
You know, she's gotta want this. We cannot
control it. A blessing for your dad to
bring that perspective to the family. And to
my husband and everybody, you know, you wanna
control it. You wanna fix it. You wanna
make it better or... What Or you wanna
give up on it? Thank goodness that my
family was
involved in either Ale or Aa program and
new other Aa members. Or Allen I members
to talk to. Because the reason we're together
today. My family's together today, and this is...
It's a miracle
We've been through it all. At what point
did you get the sense that this was
gonna work long long term for you? Mh,
or could work. Long term for you. As
long as you continue to do what you
needed to do. Did you get the sense
of the... The other shoe gonna drop and
you go back out to drinking or
did you hang on in such a way
that you kind of
protected yourself from that?
I I think this last sober living house
that I went to was that was... There
was a moment when
I been doing the same thing over... The
the bottoms were were now, like, I'm I
can't be with my family. I'm have to
go to a hotel room to drink. This
there's no way to live. Right. Like, they're
consequently, I'm not in jail. I'm not... You
know, I I'm not sick. I'm not having
seizures. It was all like this is just
sad. Like it...
So there was a moment when I called
in my sponsor,
currently, who was my sponsor and that I
asked to sponsor me in 20 20. Yeah.
Has stuck with me,
while I... All... These relapse happened, and I
called her from the last hotel room, told
her my plan,
I'm going to go to this Sober living
house that he told me I could come
to. The the owner told me I could
come to if I if I blew a
0 in the breath l. And he said
you can come and
we'll get in and my sponsor said, you
know, how are you gonna do that? You're
in a hotel room? You can't stop drinking,
and And I said, I'm gonna lock myself
in. I'm and I'm gonna show up there
tomorrow. And and I did that,
and I had... A deep breath, and and
I remember
her telling me that she would continue.
She would start the steps over with me.
But
I had to be willing not to drink.
Like, it was that simple. Like jen... You
have to be willing not to drink. No
see you guys who who's was just not
No matter what. Yeah. And I was it
was that no matter what, and and I
agreed to that. And I told her, I
said the car rides to
our... My head is crazy. Oh, it's telling
me 1 thing, can I call you every
night
on the way there? And,
because it was, you know, a little bit
of a drive, and
and so she answered the phone every night,
and we talked for 30 minutes while I
drove
out to this sober living house every night
I started doing something different than I had
done before. Yeah. What were you doing during
the today? Were you working at this point?
I was... So
coming to meetings and,
trying to help
my family business. So so my husband has
a family business. He's started, and I had
helped him during my bout of sobriety, and
so I was doing that.
Okay. So how long did you live out
in this sober living? 42 days. I think...
I think it was exactly 42.
Would you consider that an integral part of
your sobriety or or getting sober. Staying so
than those days. Yeah. Because
because I needed a safe place
to to stay.
And this environment at this particular sober living
was safe. The women there wanted to be
sober. That was the first time I I'd
experienced that. It was smaller. There were not
a lot of people there, and,
the women were serious. And so
that first was helpful. But then I also
had the time in my day to meet
with my sponsor. We met once or twice
a week,
work the steps. We started doing other things
like listening to Joe and Charlie
tape. Yeah. With the steps, and,
that was how we work the steps and
we... You know, within 42
days, I'm making him amend to my
husband,
my son, with my with my therapist,
I was also seeing a therapist.
I I put it all in. At all
the work. Every day, I woke up this
program. So you went in. All in.
Tell me about your spiritual life at this
point.
I I prayed all the time. My spiritual
life is very different today. I like, I
just feel like there's been so much shift,
I was praying
praying with such
intent to be sober. Like, please take the
obsessed shift like, just. And then, you know,
I was told to give thanks
to god at night when I had us
sober day. So I practiced that and
I practiced the third step prayer daily.
So my prayer life was there,
was it as meaningful
as it is now no. But
because I was it was stressed. I was
just like I can imagine. Stressed out. Yeah.
Trying to fix everything but but knowing... And
my therapist too help me, I mean, there
was a time when I... I really believe
that God could fix the drinking problem. But
I didn't know if God could fix
the home life.
Because there was a lot of trust broken.
Oh, yeah. And damage done.
And my therapist is, like, well doubt you
believe that
got it power bigger than yourself. I mean,
if he can fix that,
Sounds like the part of a spiritual awakening
to me. It was. My spiritual awakening was
gradual.
This program, the steps.
My spiritual life, it... I'm a different person.
Yeah. I can validate that and verify that
because I was in the berry rooms that
you were getting sober and staying sober here
at this particular club,
and I happen to know your sponsor.
Yes. Right? Yeah. And
to straight. And and seeing the quality of
her sobriety.
Oh, yeah. As part of a reflect action
on you, I think is very cool because
you you see somebody sponsoring somebody and they
start to change. The sponsor starts to change.
Oh, yeah. And and what what I noticed
about it was that
it seemed like
her program was
becoming
more vital
as a part... As a as a, you
know, by sponsoring it, we are talking about
the same person. Yes. Absolutely.
Sit behind her every day, and Mean, thing
Well, I mean, I think she's the first
person in my life
that I've really been a hundred percent honest
with. Yeah.
Besides my husband. You know, like, it it
opened me I, like, it broke something inside
of me. And it it was like freedom.
Yeah. There's another member in here that
he and I talk about the freedom. Yeah.
The freedom that that we find is I
don't take it for granted 1 single day,
Howard, that I talk a lot about gratitude
when I share. It's...
I I wouldn't be here. Like, I wouldn't
have any of the things.
Any of the things that I have today
without alcoholic anonymous, the 12 steps and the
people in the room... The support has been.
Well, and the support is there because year
because you're part of it. When you come
into Aa,
to get the support, you have to be
support a, which means,
you know, so that people can approach you
without feeling rep repulsive or repelled or we
happen to know when when when somebody is
struggling and when they're not, you know, when
to say something and when to not It's
not always perfect. Sometimes we say something when
we shouldn't or don't say when we should,
but I've seen the change in you. I've
seen the change in her.
Cool. And I... No. I can notice it,
and and maybe maybe you have to some
extent, but I've... I've definitely seen it in
her. I've seen the
in her of sponsoring you. Now the next
question is,
you're working the steps.
He got through all 12 steps. You made
your amend. Mh. You're were able to come
back home at a certain point? Yes.
Now.
Did you say you guys had gotten divorced
and. Mh. So you went through all the
paperwork and stuff. So Mh you got
back together. Mh. Un divorced. How does that
process work?
We're together and and plan to make an
official this year. Good for you. Yeah. God.
What a blessing. What of blessing in our
son is,
you know, he was at the age where
he saw a lot.
He's 11. Right? When I sober up. And
so I don't know how that affected him
yet. We don't know yet. And I don't
have to know because 1 day at a
time. Well, people in these rooms have never
been able to figure out what what keeps
somebody from drinking or makes them want to
drink, you know? Yeah. So I I don't
know about him yet. But I I do
know that we... The 3 of us family
unit is the closest.
We've ever been. That's great. The most respectful
we've ever been to each... It's like, it's
just... We... Our we bring these steps and
principals into our home life. Yeah. And my
sponsor is a big part of that. So
she does that... To with her family.
You know, I think we seek out people
that we want what they have. And and
I really always
listen to her share, You know, when she
talked I listen.
The way she puts her family and
kids and husband and talks about them and
stuff speaks to them and engages with them
is how I wanna be at. So at
what point were you ready to start sponsoring
other people?
Well, I didn't really know.
I knew that I had worked the 12
steps. I was coming to meetings regularly. Mh.
So I knew I was available. I also
know the part in the big book that
says working with other alcoholic is our
insurance.
Gets the next slip or drink. So
well I wanna... I wanted to. I wanted
another women to feel like they could call
me. And my my sponsor had also
made me in the beginning get... Other women's
phone numbers and actually called them. Actually called.
So I felt awkward, but I did it.
I have a handful of women that I'm
now,
you know, pretty easy to talk to and
that's calling. So in my in my own
way, I guess, or in that way,
just reaching out to them, like, that was
an initial way of me getting to help...
Maybe I was helping somebody, maybe I wasn't,
but it was it was
just an active
service just reaching out to other people in
the program. So that's how I started talking
to other women. Well, availability is 09:10. Of
the game though. Yeah. You know Yeah. Being
here. And being there and being available. I
had 2 women asked me pretty soon after
I had worked the 12 steps. It's
to sponsor them, and I still sponsor those
2 women today. 1 of them,
celebrated a year in March, and the other
1 celebrate 7 years. She has more sobriety
than night. This month. She had been so
longer than me, but she had gotten away
or never really worked the step she said.
So she wanted to work the steps, and
so we we did that. So I took
her through the steps, and so those were
my responsibilities. I've had other women
asked me, and we've started and I haven't
heard from them. Well, when I notice about
you when I see you in meetings is
that the women all come over and say,
hi you've made a big effect on their
lives, and certainly on other people in the
rooms. I felt it. I felt the love
that people have for you. It's very... Strong
in this particular club. Seeing them stay sober
means that you're probably saying sober on top
of it. Right? I can see that ernest
desire in your face Yeah. To stay planted
in the middle of this absolutely. And that
where we have to live. Have to. I
have to. Yeah. It's changed my life. And
I want... You know, like,
I was...
There was a meeting last week that the
leader was talking about wanting more and and
were people who
more more is more is better, and and
I want more of this. Like, I want
more of what I'm getting. And it's...
That's why I keep showing up and doing
what I'm what what suggested. You see how
well you did in this interview today or
Thank you. Well you're easy to talk to.
I mean, I like talking to to other
alcoholic. Yeah. I enjoy it. And we understand
each there's a level of understanding that even
though we don't have a deep relationship based
on a lot of time Right interaction, whether
There's certain things that we know about each
other deep down without even having to outward
know it. You know. It's like, if you're
here and you're doing this and you're helping
others,
you're my kind of people. Right? That's right.
Give get that sense. Absolutely. Yeah. I do
too. I do too. Well, this has just
been marvelous. And I wanna thank you for
doing this. You're a beautiful person I love
you, and you're just
an amazing member of this particular club. Thank
you, Howard.
You do a great job.
I've told you I've I've loved listening to
these. It's right. It's help me with with
my program. I mean, and know there's people
I look up to that that I knew
from here and other meetings that I couldn't
weigh. Oh, gosh can't power interviewed them. I
can't wait to listen. Well, it's been... A
lot of fun. It's been really helped. Helped
with a lot of people and that's far
we're here. Well, thank you, Yeah. Appreciate that.
Thank you. Well, again, many things a for
doing this interview with me today, Marcy.
Thanks so much. Forward to many, many more
meetings with you and Me too. Our friendship
growing in the future. Me too, Howard. Thanks
so much. It was a pleasure you bet.
1 my friends, that's it for this episode
of aa recovery interviews. I want to thank
my guests to Marcy p for sharing her
story.
And thank you for tuning in.
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