1 00:00:00,199 --> 00:00:02,993 How important that is to the community. 2 00:00:03,631 --> 00:00:06,265 God put marriage first, and I think we 3 00:00:06,265 --> 00:00:08,021 could do well to learn from that. 4 00:00:09,472 --> 00:00:12,500 It said that families are the fabric of 5 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:13,616 our society. 6 00:00:14,253 --> 00:00:16,738 And as I was preparing the sermon, In 7 00:00:16,738 --> 00:00:18,649 my mind, I was kinda reflecting on that 8 00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:19,866 and just how 9 00:00:20,322 --> 00:00:20,822 resilient 10 00:00:21,357 --> 00:00:22,175 or delicate 11 00:00:22,551 --> 00:00:24,781 families can be. Right? There's strong ones. 12 00:00:25,353 --> 00:00:27,975 There's there's weaker ones, and there's everything in 13 00:00:27,975 --> 00:00:29,643 between. So if we kinda grasp on to 14 00:00:29,643 --> 00:00:30,914 the idea of fabric, 15 00:00:31,390 --> 00:00:34,026 we would have to reflect on just how 16 00:00:34,026 --> 00:00:37,120 many different types and styles of fabric there 17 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,293 are. It's almost infinite. And and that's true 18 00:00:40,293 --> 00:00:41,245 about families also. 19 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,518 Everyone is unique in their own way. They 20 00:00:44,518 --> 00:00:45,813 all have their individual characteristics, 21 00:00:46,584 --> 00:00:49,208 some are strong. They wear well, summer are 22 00:00:49,208 --> 00:00:51,773 delicate, and just don't stand up to hard 23 00:00:51,773 --> 00:00:51,933 use. 24 00:00:52,651 --> 00:00:55,283 Some look beautiful when they're new, but fade 25 00:00:55,283 --> 00:00:55,761 really fast. 26 00:00:56,399 --> 00:00:59,372 And then there's the tribe and true 27 00:00:59,844 --> 00:01:02,798 fabric that is always reliable. It's always comfortable. 28 00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:04,255 It's ever 29 00:01:04,713 --> 00:01:06,629 resilient and it's always there when you need 30 00:01:06,629 --> 00:01:08,385 it. That's your Blue jeans. Right? 31 00:01:09,992 --> 00:01:11,107 They're good when they're new. 32 00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:12,937 They're good when they're faded. 33 00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:15,404 They're even better apparently when they're ripped and 34 00:01:15,404 --> 00:01:15,643 torn. 35 00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,556 So whether you like wearing Blue jeans or 36 00:01:19,556 --> 00:01:21,624 not, doesn't matter. You have to admit that 37 00:01:21,624 --> 00:01:23,317 they are pretty much the gold standard 38 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,707 of reliability when it comes to fabric. 39 00:01:26,346 --> 00:01:29,063 So if family is the fabric of society, 40 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,582 we have a choice of making it from 41 00:01:30,582 --> 00:01:32,500 something resilient and strong like denim, 42 00:01:33,154 --> 00:01:33,654 or 43 00:01:34,032 --> 00:01:36,188 delicate, and fragile, maybe like Lace. 44 00:01:36,986 --> 00:01:39,642 And the Bible has some great instructions 45 00:01:40,179 --> 00:01:42,276 on how to weave a strong 46 00:01:42,828 --> 00:01:44,574 family fabric. And that's just what I wanna 47 00:01:44,574 --> 00:01:46,240 look at this morning. What does the Bible 48 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:46,740 say 49 00:01:47,192 --> 00:01:47,747 about marriage? 50 00:01:48,382 --> 00:01:48,620 K? 51 00:01:49,255 --> 00:01:51,653 Last month, if you were here. I preached 52 00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:52,868 on the relevancy 53 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,943 of the bible in our modern day times, 54 00:01:56,578 --> 00:01:57,078 and 55 00:01:57,469 --> 00:01:57,969 nowhere 56 00:01:58,348 --> 00:02:00,745 is the bible more relevant than addressing the 57 00:02:00,745 --> 00:02:01,245 fundamentals 58 00:02:01,703 --> 00:02:03,701 of a solid marriage and family. 59 00:02:05,074 --> 00:02:08,509 And marriage in its intended state is ordained 60 00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:11,146 by god and has an impact on so 61 00:02:11,146 --> 00:02:11,965 much more 62 00:02:12,279 --> 00:02:14,585 than just a husband or a wife. It 63 00:02:14,585 --> 00:02:15,380 impacts everybody. 64 00:02:16,096 --> 00:02:19,277 Everybody in this room is impacted by marriage 65 00:02:19,277 --> 00:02:21,662 in some way. If you're a young person, 66 00:02:22,234 --> 00:02:24,711 your parents marriage impacts you. If you're a 67 00:02:24,711 --> 00:02:25,031 senior, 68 00:02:25,590 --> 00:02:27,049 your example of marriage 69 00:02:27,508 --> 00:02:29,345 impacts the generations that follow you. 70 00:02:30,159 --> 00:02:33,036 If you're single, if you're separated, or maybe 71 00:02:33,036 --> 00:02:33,856 divorced, marriage 72 00:02:34,315 --> 00:02:36,393 may gonna be in your future. So marriage 73 00:02:36,393 --> 00:02:38,311 is important to everybody. 74 00:02:39,843 --> 00:02:42,548 My wife, Kelly and I are passionate about 75 00:02:42,548 --> 00:02:45,332 marriage and not just ours, but everybody's, 76 00:02:46,127 --> 00:02:47,957 we messed ours up a long time ago, 77 00:02:48,116 --> 00:02:51,169 but God blessed us with the opportunity of 78 00:02:51,169 --> 00:02:51,889 a fresh start. 79 00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:52,849 Together, 80 00:02:53,569 --> 00:02:54,770 Kelly and I got a chance for a 81 00:02:54,770 --> 00:02:57,590 duo over, and we began to do marriage 82 00:02:57,650 --> 00:02:58,050 differently. 83 00:02:58,622 --> 00:02:59,440 We began 84 00:02:59,974 --> 00:03:02,384 treating our marriage as something precious 85 00:03:02,997 --> 00:03:05,463 because we care for the things that are 86 00:03:05,463 --> 00:03:07,942 precious to us. And when we lose something 87 00:03:07,942 --> 00:03:10,482 that's precious. We freak out. We don't want 88 00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:12,807 that. So we began to treat our marriage 89 00:03:13,339 --> 00:03:13,839 with 90 00:03:14,783 --> 00:03:16,772 a new level of respect because we wanted 91 00:03:16,772 --> 00:03:18,522 it to be around forever. 92 00:03:19,079 --> 00:03:21,306 And that's the way God wants us to 93 00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:22,355 treat our marriages, 94 00:03:22,831 --> 00:03:25,057 like a precious gift from him. 95 00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:28,236 We never get tired of precious things because 96 00:03:28,236 --> 00:03:28,951 they give us joy. 97 00:03:29,602 --> 00:03:31,985 And that's what marriage is meant to be. 98 00:03:32,144 --> 00:03:33,574 It's meant to be joyous. It's meant to 99 00:03:33,574 --> 00:03:34,845 be happy, fruitful, 100 00:03:35,401 --> 00:03:35,958 to be fun. 101 00:03:36,847 --> 00:03:39,951 But unfortunately, that's not what we often see 102 00:03:39,951 --> 00:03:41,543 when we look at marriage today. 103 00:03:42,419 --> 00:03:43,078 We see 104 00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:46,813 that marriage as God intended it is definitely 105 00:03:46,813 --> 00:03:47,211 in trouble. 106 00:03:48,168 --> 00:03:48,908 The world 107 00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:51,518 of marriage doesn't see it as precious. 108 00:03:52,395 --> 00:03:54,411 It doesn't see the beauty in 2 109 00:03:54,788 --> 00:03:57,433 becoming 1. It sees beauty in the individual. 110 00:03:57,592 --> 00:04:00,243 And the world says that it's perfectly okay 111 00:04:00,301 --> 00:04:02,451 to split up. It's no big deal. You 112 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,363 gave it a try, better luck next time. 113 00:04:05,414 --> 00:04:07,652 And that's why we see so many failed 114 00:04:07,652 --> 00:04:08,152 marriages 115 00:04:08,611 --> 00:04:12,307 today. It's just so easy to become complacent 116 00:04:12,846 --> 00:04:15,194 and lose sight. Of how precious 117 00:04:15,804 --> 00:04:16,755 our marriages are. 118 00:04:17,944 --> 00:04:19,054 So the world's got it wrong. 119 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,695 God meant for marriage to be resilient 120 00:04:22,004 --> 00:04:24,336 and precious. He wants it to be strong 121 00:04:24,553 --> 00:04:25,270 and to last, 122 00:04:25,908 --> 00:04:27,023 just like those Blue jeans, 123 00:04:27,661 --> 00:04:29,573 and he gave us all the details we 124 00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:30,689 need on how to do it. 125 00:04:32,376 --> 00:04:33,728 Before I get into that, I know that 126 00:04:33,728 --> 00:04:36,035 there are a lot of people here that 127 00:04:36,035 --> 00:04:38,103 are struggling right now in their marriages. 128 00:04:38,914 --> 00:04:41,621 And I know that there are real life 129 00:04:41,621 --> 00:04:43,156 reasons why some marriages 130 00:04:43,612 --> 00:04:45,227 just can't go on 131 00:04:45,842 --> 00:04:48,007 without major intervention. And my heart aches for 132 00:04:48,007 --> 00:04:49,383 you. I've experienced 133 00:04:49,839 --> 00:04:50,397 that pain, 134 00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:52,388 but I want you to know that God 135 00:04:52,388 --> 00:04:52,707 loves you. 136 00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:54,698 And he has a plan. 137 00:05:03,869 --> 00:05:04,187 Sorry. 138 00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:08,970 He will look after you if you let 139 00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:11,906 him in, and he can fix broken stuff. 140 00:05:13,096 --> 00:05:15,181 That's a sad part but there's a solution 141 00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:17,016 and the solution is in the bible as 142 00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:19,112 always. And let's see what the Bible 143 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,974 says about how to do marriage right. Let's 144 00:05:21,974 --> 00:05:24,036 open our bibles to Genesis 02:24. 145 00:05:25,384 --> 00:05:27,763 In context, Genesis 02:24, this is the first 146 00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:29,135 time God addressed 147 00:05:29,921 --> 00:05:32,309 mankind as a couple. Okay? And it says, 148 00:05:32,946 --> 00:05:34,856 that is why a man leaves his father 149 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:36,925 and mother and is united to his wife 150 00:05:36,925 --> 00:05:38,516 and they become 1 flesh. 151 00:05:39,487 --> 00:05:40,840 I'll say that again. Now as why a 152 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,194 man leaves his father and mother, 153 00:05:42,831 --> 00:05:45,060 and the united to his wife and they 154 00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:46,255 become 1 flesh. 155 00:05:47,464 --> 00:05:49,052 There's there's a lot in that verse. 156 00:05:49,847 --> 00:05:52,468 There's actually 3 separate statements in that 1 157 00:05:52,468 --> 00:05:52,627 verse. 158 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,160 Man 159 00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:57,409 leaving his father and mother, pretty straightforward. A, 160 00:05:57,569 --> 00:05:59,247 man needs to become his own man and 161 00:05:59,247 --> 00:06:01,084 it can't do that living in the shadow 162 00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:03,481 of his father generally. And, this is not 163 00:06:03,481 --> 00:06:04,254 saying that parents 164 00:06:04,694 --> 00:06:06,611 are a a bad influence. What it is 165 00:06:06,611 --> 00:06:08,528 saying is in preparing for marriage, 166 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,085 there's only room for 2 in the boat. 167 00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:13,438 And parents can make 168 00:06:13,977 --> 00:06:15,495 steering the boat a little more difficult. 169 00:06:16,614 --> 00:06:19,411 God's intent as always is to start everything 170 00:06:19,411 --> 00:06:20,450 with a clean slate. 171 00:06:21,663 --> 00:06:23,733 And that's the first statement. The next statement 172 00:06:23,733 --> 00:06:25,268 in there is be united 173 00:06:25,883 --> 00:06:26,600 to his wife. 174 00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,728 That word united in Hebrews 175 00:06:30,119 --> 00:06:32,857 is the back, and it translates as to 176 00:06:33,156 --> 00:06:34,515 cling to stick, 177 00:06:35,234 --> 00:06:35,953 stay close, 178 00:06:36,753 --> 00:06:39,150 cl to and to stay with. 179 00:06:40,524 --> 00:06:42,202 And I think you'll agree that those words 180 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:44,119 are in pretty stark contrast to a world 181 00:06:44,119 --> 00:06:45,578 where we're told to be penn 182 00:06:46,117 --> 00:06:48,366 and rely on nobody but ourself Right? You 183 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,547 know, in the worldly context of independence, clingy, 184 00:06:52,342 --> 00:06:52,660 close, 185 00:06:53,534 --> 00:06:54,012 cl, 186 00:06:54,886 --> 00:06:55,443 sounds weak. 187 00:06:56,254 --> 00:06:58,334 It sounds c dependent, but in the context 188 00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,295 of godly marriage, 189 00:07:00,175 --> 00:07:02,274 those characteristics are the very essence 190 00:07:02,574 --> 00:07:03,375 of intimacy. 191 00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:06,990 In intimacy is the goal of godly marriage. 192 00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,990 And then lastly, in that verse there's description 193 00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:12,404 of 1 flesh 194 00:07:12,762 --> 00:07:13,819 since they became 195 00:07:14,193 --> 00:07:14,829 1 flesh. 196 00:07:15,624 --> 00:07:17,691 What does that? Really mean? 1 flesh. Are 197 00:07:17,691 --> 00:07:19,758 we to be tied at the hip all 198 00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:22,397 the time, never alone, never away from 1 199 00:07:22,397 --> 00:07:25,101 another that actually sounds more creepy than anything 200 00:07:25,101 --> 00:07:25,260 else. 201 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,894 But the intent of that 1 flesh condition 202 00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:31,972 is that it describes 2 people so closely 203 00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:36,097 ent and emotionally connected that they act as 204 00:07:36,152 --> 00:07:36,390 1? 205 00:07:37,438 --> 00:07:40,144 Sharing a common state of intimacy. 206 00:07:41,338 --> 00:07:43,010 And I think most of us have probably 207 00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:44,385 experienced at 1 time 208 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,883 take has tasted this type of closeness, maybe 209 00:07:47,883 --> 00:07:49,874 when they first fell in love. It's when 210 00:07:49,874 --> 00:07:51,866 you wanna share every experience. 211 00:07:52,358 --> 00:07:53,628 And moment together. 212 00:07:54,739 --> 00:07:56,803 Maybe not unlike when we as new Christians 213 00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:59,502 just wanna know god better, right? To be 214 00:07:59,502 --> 00:08:02,376 closer to Jesus and to read his words 215 00:08:02,376 --> 00:08:02,876 and 216 00:08:03,647 --> 00:08:04,601 it's a beautiful thing. 217 00:08:05,316 --> 00:08:07,620 That's the intimacy of 1 flesh. 218 00:08:09,147 --> 00:08:11,778 But unfortunately, something happens over time because we're 219 00:08:11,778 --> 00:08:12,278 people 220 00:08:12,654 --> 00:08:15,307 and we tend to do dumb things. We 221 00:08:15,444 --> 00:08:16,321 become complacent. 222 00:08:17,054 --> 00:08:20,110 And we stop reminding ourselves of the precious 223 00:08:20,329 --> 00:08:21,288 of what we have. 224 00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:23,466 And we relax 225 00:08:23,939 --> 00:08:25,697 from our best behavior and slowly begin to 226 00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:27,056 move into different directions. 227 00:08:28,414 --> 00:08:30,651 It's the most common excuse for break or 228 00:08:30,651 --> 00:08:31,151 divorce 229 00:08:31,770 --> 00:08:34,737 we'll just sort of drifted apart. Right? We've 230 00:08:34,737 --> 00:08:36,491 all heard that. And that's what happens when 231 00:08:36,491 --> 00:08:37,310 we forget 232 00:08:37,847 --> 00:08:38,746 about how precious 233 00:08:39,442 --> 00:08:40,160 our marriage is. 234 00:08:41,196 --> 00:08:41,809 When we 235 00:08:42,728 --> 00:08:45,146 start defining our pathways separately. 236 00:08:45,765 --> 00:08:48,082 They will always diver to a point where 237 00:08:48,082 --> 00:08:49,840 you can no longer find your way back. 238 00:08:50,967 --> 00:08:52,237 You're hopeless far apart. 239 00:08:53,428 --> 00:08:54,880 The pathway through life 240 00:08:55,332 --> 00:08:56,920 as a couple of godly marriage is a 241 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:00,209 pathway that's designed by both of you together 242 00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:01,669 and 1 that you continually 243 00:09:02,289 --> 00:09:02,789 walk 244 00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:04,209 together as 1. 245 00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:07,029 That diver pathway 246 00:09:07,904 --> 00:09:10,644 is Satan's attempt to break that 1 flesh 247 00:09:10,945 --> 00:09:14,565 covenant, that relationship and into divide and conquer 248 00:09:15,105 --> 00:09:15,504 marriages. 249 00:09:16,318 --> 00:09:19,347 Right? Divide and conquer. There's a common misconception 250 00:09:19,347 --> 00:09:21,123 the Divide and conquer means to be 251 00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,811 efficient. Like, let's divide up you do your 252 00:09:23,811 --> 00:09:25,652 list. I'll do my list and at the 253 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,159 end of the day, we'll have got more 254 00:09:27,159 --> 00:09:29,697 done. Right? But that's not what it means. 255 00:09:30,093 --> 00:09:32,568 Divide and conquer is a military term. It 256 00:09:32,568 --> 00:09:34,164 says, if you divide your enemy, 257 00:09:34,722 --> 00:09:36,875 you will conquer him and folks. 258 00:09:37,673 --> 00:09:39,747 I think that's what Satan is doing to 259 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:39,986 marriage. 260 00:09:40,704 --> 00:09:43,033 He's saying it's okay. Go you separate ways. 261 00:09:43,273 --> 00:09:45,350 He says, you should look after yourself first. 262 00:09:46,149 --> 00:09:48,386 Don't rely on anybody else. You have to 263 00:09:48,386 --> 00:09:49,025 be independent. 264 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:51,279 Right. You shouldn't need to be dependent on 265 00:09:51,279 --> 00:09:52,799 a spouse. You're your own person. 266 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,839 Satan wants to divide and conquer marriage, and 267 00:09:57,839 --> 00:09:59,951 he's doing a pretty good job of. Unfortunately, 268 00:10:01,356 --> 00:10:03,103 being dependent on somebody, 269 00:10:04,056 --> 00:10:06,437 especially your spouse is not a bad thing. 270 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,240 Sure. You should be capable of the independence, 271 00:10:09,479 --> 00:10:10,457 I think, but 272 00:10:11,233 --> 00:10:12,508 you don't you might need that someday day. 273 00:10:12,667 --> 00:10:15,232 Right? But what a shame to not be 274 00:10:15,232 --> 00:10:17,065 dependent on the most important person in your 275 00:10:17,065 --> 00:10:17,224 life. 276 00:10:18,658 --> 00:10:20,331 Your partner in marriage. And for him or 277 00:10:20,331 --> 00:10:22,244 her to not be dependent on you, 278 00:10:22,961 --> 00:10:24,315 what a shame that would be? 279 00:10:26,723 --> 00:10:30,333 So those 3 statements from Genesis 02:24 280 00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:33,262 are kinda like the setup for godly marriage, 281 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:36,063 if you will. They're the conditions that are 282 00:10:36,063 --> 00:10:38,449 required to get a husband and wife into 283 00:10:38,449 --> 00:10:39,983 the same boat, metaphorically 284 00:10:40,517 --> 00:10:40,756 speaking. 285 00:10:41,886 --> 00:10:44,036 Like Metaphors because they provide us a good 286 00:10:44,036 --> 00:10:46,982 mental image of something, and the something in 287 00:10:46,982 --> 00:10:49,212 this case is the word marriage. 288 00:10:50,343 --> 00:10:52,257 You're probably wondering how on earth can I 289 00:10:52,257 --> 00:10:55,288 put boat as a metaphor for marriage, but 290 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,282 stick with me? I'm gonna try. Okay? The 291 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,696 word marriage is a noun 292 00:11:00,248 --> 00:11:01,684 if you've ever thought about it, which means 293 00:11:01,684 --> 00:11:04,078 it's either a person or a place or 294 00:11:04,078 --> 00:11:06,312 a thing. Right? Grammar school, 01:01. 295 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:09,280 Well, it's not a place, you know, a 296 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,196 place where the marriage maybe was created. 297 00:11:12,074 --> 00:11:13,032 It's not a person, 298 00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:16,065 although there are 2 people in the marriage, 299 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:19,200 So it must be a thing. And in 300 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,360 order for it to be a thing, it 301 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:22,340 has to exist 302 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,279 on its own. 303 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,243 So Marriage is something that actually has to 304 00:11:26,243 --> 00:11:29,028 be created and to be built. And it's 305 00:11:29,028 --> 00:11:30,165 built over time 306 00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:32,291 by man, a woman who have committed themselves 307 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:34,772 to use those tools of Genesis 02:24. We 308 00:11:34,772 --> 00:11:37,079 just talked about To build a vessel. Here 309 00:11:37,079 --> 00:11:38,034 comes the boat, Algae. 310 00:11:38,829 --> 00:11:41,613 That is their marriage to protect them from 311 00:11:41,613 --> 00:11:42,902 what the world have to throw of them. 312 00:11:43,062 --> 00:11:44,735 That's the boat or the vessel. It has 313 00:11:44,735 --> 00:11:45,293 to be built. 314 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:49,119 The boat represents that thing that is your 315 00:11:49,119 --> 00:11:50,177 marriage, A vessel 316 00:11:50,568 --> 00:11:52,956 that houses you and protects you from the 317 00:11:52,956 --> 00:11:53,354 elements. 318 00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:56,220 And if you've taken the time to build 319 00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:59,426 it strong and to maintain it with care 320 00:11:59,483 --> 00:11:59,961 and love, 321 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:01,673 that vessel 322 00:12:02,212 --> 00:12:04,929 will protect you from anything that the world 323 00:12:04,929 --> 00:12:05,568 can throw at you. 324 00:12:06,766 --> 00:12:07,885 That's the boat metaphor. 325 00:12:09,016 --> 00:12:11,346 And there's there's a bible passage that 326 00:12:11,801 --> 00:12:12,301 explains 327 00:12:12,676 --> 00:12:13,176 why 328 00:12:13,631 --> 00:12:15,938 it is so so worth it to put 329 00:12:15,938 --> 00:12:16,677 the effort 330 00:12:17,052 --> 00:12:19,475 into that strong marriage 331 00:12:20,009 --> 00:12:22,156 vessel, if you will. And we find it 332 00:12:22,156 --> 00:12:22,974 in ec, 333 00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:24,859 chapter 4, 334 00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,950 versus 9 through 12. This is a wonderful 335 00:12:29,006 --> 00:12:30,698 set of versus that speaks 336 00:12:31,072 --> 00:12:33,456 to being alone or to be in partnership. 337 00:12:33,615 --> 00:12:33,932 It says, 338 00:12:34,665 --> 00:12:36,745 2 are better than 1 because they have 339 00:12:36,745 --> 00:12:38,024 a good return for their labor. 340 00:12:38,904 --> 00:12:40,985 If either m falls down, 1 can help 341 00:12:40,985 --> 00:12:42,684 the other up, but pity 342 00:12:43,236 --> 00:12:45,142 anyone who falls and has no 1 to 343 00:12:45,142 --> 00:12:45,539 help them up. 344 00:12:46,492 --> 00:12:48,239 Also, if 2 lie down together, they will 345 00:12:48,239 --> 00:12:50,066 keep warm, but how can 1 keep warm 346 00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:50,304 alone. 347 00:12:51,193 --> 00:12:52,626 The 1 may be overpowered, 348 00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:54,536 2 can defend themselves. 349 00:12:55,491 --> 00:12:57,423 The chord of 3 strands 350 00:12:57,958 --> 00:12:59,072 is not quickly broken. 351 00:13:00,917 --> 00:13:03,380 So the boat analogy here is a perfect 352 00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:05,764 fit to these verses because when 2 are 353 00:13:05,764 --> 00:13:06,264 united 354 00:13:06,718 --> 00:13:07,751 as in 1 flash. 355 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,864 In a strong marriage that they built together, 356 00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:12,318 the vessel or the boat 357 00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,121 has room for 1 more. 358 00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,634 And that's the third strand because when God 359 00:13:17,634 --> 00:13:20,495 sees us fulfilling his will in our marriages, 360 00:13:20,654 --> 00:13:22,721 he joins us. He's like a crew member. 361 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:24,653 He is the third strand. 362 00:13:26,331 --> 00:13:27,290 So now there's you, 363 00:13:27,929 --> 00:13:28,909 there's your spouse 364 00:13:29,527 --> 00:13:31,765 and god in that marriage vessel, 365 00:13:32,339 --> 00:13:34,884 that you built together using his home blueprints. 366 00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:36,316 It's beautiful thing. 367 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,646 Just imagine for a moment 368 00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:40,790 what that would be like. And I know 369 00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,146 some of you don't have to because you 370 00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:45,177 already know what it is like. But imagine 371 00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:46,931 you and your spouse and God alone in 372 00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,686 this little vessel. Do you think it would 373 00:13:48,686 --> 00:13:49,186 influence 374 00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:51,666 the way you interact as a couple 375 00:13:52,198 --> 00:13:52,675 each day, 376 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,694 knowing that god is a witness to everything 377 00:13:55,694 --> 00:13:57,441 that you do and say in that vessel. 378 00:13:59,051 --> 00:13:59,768 Kinda scary. 379 00:14:02,002 --> 00:14:04,655 So let's make him proud by showing him 380 00:14:04,714 --> 00:14:06,707 that we honor our marriages in the way 381 00:14:06,707 --> 00:14:08,798 that he showed us. With it. We're doing 382 00:14:08,798 --> 00:14:10,636 it United. We're doing it as 1 flash 383 00:14:10,636 --> 00:14:13,433 in an ind vessel that we built together, 384 00:14:13,913 --> 00:14:14,812 and we're willing 385 00:14:15,191 --> 00:14:16,310 to prioritize it. 386 00:14:17,601 --> 00:14:20,333 Above anything else in our lives other than 387 00:14:20,391 --> 00:14:20,949 god himself. 388 00:14:22,224 --> 00:14:23,361 We must prioritize 389 00:14:23,898 --> 00:14:24,535 our marriages. 390 00:14:25,188 --> 00:14:28,141 It has to remain your highest priority in 391 00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:30,854 life because if we let anything else creep 392 00:14:30,854 --> 00:14:31,891 in above it, 393 00:14:32,863 --> 00:14:34,216 we begin to divide. 394 00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:38,457 And this is where most people particularly men 395 00:14:38,991 --> 00:14:42,038 struggle is prioritizing their marriage second 396 00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:43,225 only to God. 397 00:14:44,102 --> 00:14:45,376 And you might be thinking at this time 398 00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:47,926 Well, wait a minute. That's so kinda unrealistic. 399 00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:49,679 There's a lot of other things in this 400 00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,670 life that we have to take care. Right? 401 00:14:52,245 --> 00:14:53,845 We've have kids to raise. We have careers. 402 00:14:54,004 --> 00:14:57,285 There's bills to pay our marriage. We'll be 403 00:14:57,285 --> 00:14:59,125 fine when we have all those things in 404 00:14:59,125 --> 00:14:59,524 order. 405 00:15:00,418 --> 00:15:01,851 We'll be happy when the mortgage is paid. 406 00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:03,364 We'll be happy when the kids are in 407 00:15:03,364 --> 00:15:05,195 college. When we get all that done, 408 00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:07,265 we can really start working on our marriage. 409 00:15:08,714 --> 00:15:08,953 No. 410 00:15:10,151 --> 00:15:10,789 Because by then, 411 00:15:11,428 --> 00:15:12,306 the damage is done. 412 00:15:14,062 --> 00:15:15,659 By then the ship is not only leaking, 413 00:15:16,058 --> 00:15:16,696 it's sinking. 414 00:15:17,987 --> 00:15:18,725 And that 415 00:15:19,339 --> 00:15:22,042 describes this sort of elusive battle that married 416 00:15:22,042 --> 00:15:24,508 couples around the world fight, balancing everything that 417 00:15:24,508 --> 00:15:26,734 life is throwing at them all the time 418 00:15:26,734 --> 00:15:27,473 while trying 419 00:15:27,782 --> 00:15:29,154 to maintain this thing 420 00:15:29,526 --> 00:15:30,002 called marriage. 421 00:15:30,795 --> 00:15:33,173 Keep the priority up. It it's a classic 422 00:15:33,173 --> 00:15:34,600 what comes first, the chicken or the egg. 423 00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,450 Great? It's it's gonna be... Is it gonna 424 00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:39,009 be all the things of life that distract 425 00:15:39,009 --> 00:15:41,009 us? Or is it gonna be your marriage? 426 00:15:41,889 --> 00:15:42,610 What comes first? 427 00:15:43,183 --> 00:15:44,611 The things of life are never gonna go 428 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,119 away. They'll be here forever, 429 00:15:46,832 --> 00:15:48,578 but unfortunately, your marriage might. 430 00:15:50,497 --> 00:15:52,007 So let's check back with the bible here, 431 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:52,563 and let's 432 00:15:53,279 --> 00:15:55,742 we're gonna turn to the new testament. Should 433 00:15:55,742 --> 00:15:57,093 be on the screen above us, and we're 434 00:15:57,093 --> 00:15:58,524 gonna look in the book of ephesians. 435 00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:01,316 Ephesians 05:25. 436 00:16:02,188 --> 00:16:03,537 I think you guys have heard this 1. 437 00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,672 It says husbands 438 00:16:05,124 --> 00:16:05,758 love your wives. 439 00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:08,473 Just as Christ also loved the church and 440 00:16:08,473 --> 00:16:10,300 gave himself up for her. 441 00:16:11,491 --> 00:16:13,659 Husbands love your wives just as Christ also 442 00:16:13,953 --> 00:16:15,462 loved the church and gave himself up for 443 00:16:15,462 --> 00:16:15,621 her. 444 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,600 This is Paul, the the apostle 445 00:16:18,975 --> 00:16:19,475 drawing 446 00:16:19,929 --> 00:16:21,940 another metaphor between marriage 447 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:25,120 and the church. And he's saying husbands 448 00:16:25,908 --> 00:16:28,216 put your wives ahead of everything else except 449 00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:30,842 God because that's what Christ did with his 450 00:16:30,842 --> 00:16:32,991 church. Christ was the ultimate example. 451 00:16:33,483 --> 00:16:36,018 Of doing that un love, literally putting his 452 00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:36,518 life 453 00:16:36,969 --> 00:16:38,712 his church. Ahead of his own life. Right? 454 00:16:39,187 --> 00:16:41,663 So Paul is saying to the men of 455 00:16:41,663 --> 00:16:43,412 ethic emphasis in this case, guys, if you 456 00:16:43,412 --> 00:16:44,446 want a happy marriage, 457 00:16:45,877 --> 00:16:47,786 make your wife and your marriage, your highest 458 00:16:47,786 --> 00:16:49,694 priority second only to god. 459 00:16:51,222 --> 00:16:52,895 I'm guessing most of the wives in the 460 00:16:52,895 --> 00:16:55,287 room today are probably thinking, yeah. Yeah. Right 461 00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:55,446 on. 462 00:16:56,243 --> 00:16:57,917 And some of the husbands might be thinking 463 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,080 what where's golf and hunting fit into that. 464 00:17:00,318 --> 00:17:00,557 Right? 465 00:17:01,352 --> 00:17:01,590 Well, 466 00:17:02,306 --> 00:17:04,236 pro tip here guys is we can hunt 467 00:17:04,293 --> 00:17:05,406 golf with our wives too. 468 00:17:06,774 --> 00:17:09,591 But it really folks. This is where 469 00:17:10,370 --> 00:17:11,968 the rubber meets the road, if you will. 470 00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,125 If you want any of what we've been 471 00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:15,995 talking about, to work 472 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:18,513 in your marriage. You need to elevate your 473 00:17:18,513 --> 00:17:19,013 marriage 474 00:17:19,545 --> 00:17:20,656 above all else, 475 00:17:21,292 --> 00:17:23,753 except God. And the couples that figure that 476 00:17:23,753 --> 00:17:23,912 out, 477 00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,325 are the happiest couples on the planet. 478 00:17:26,805 --> 00:17:27,684 And if you doubt it, 479 00:17:28,404 --> 00:17:30,984 try it. The result will amaze you because 480 00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:33,705 it's god's result. It's god's intent. Husbands 481 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,170 love your wives just as Christ also loved 482 00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:38,799 the church and gave himself up for her. 483 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:42,543 So that there is the challenge for the 484 00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:42,862 husbands. 485 00:17:43,674 --> 00:17:44,634 But what about the wives? 486 00:17:45,835 --> 00:17:48,315 Paul addresses the wives in this passage too, 487 00:17:48,474 --> 00:17:50,394 but we gotta backup up couple of verses 488 00:17:50,394 --> 00:17:51,194 with infusions, 489 00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:53,224 verse 22 490 00:17:53,678 --> 00:17:56,086 says, wives submit to your husbands 491 00:17:57,097 --> 00:17:58,846 as to the Lord. And I know that 492 00:17:58,846 --> 00:18:01,334 verse can generate some hate mail, but 493 00:18:01,724 --> 00:18:04,041 Ladies, let me explain that this passage is 494 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,236 nowhere near as controversial as what many had 495 00:18:07,236 --> 00:18:09,646 been led to believe. What these versus our 496 00:18:09,646 --> 00:18:11,800 saying has to be taken in context with 497 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,953 this entire section of verse, not just 1 498 00:18:13,953 --> 00:18:14,272 sentence. 499 00:18:14,910 --> 00:18:17,303 If we back up 1 more verse into 500 00:18:17,303 --> 00:18:18,260 verse 21, 501 00:18:19,153 --> 00:18:22,346 It says it starts to submit to 1 502 00:18:22,346 --> 00:18:24,661 another out of reverence for Christ. 503 00:18:25,619 --> 00:18:27,670 And then it goes on to describe that 504 00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:30,582 This is a mutual submission because it requires 505 00:18:30,582 --> 00:18:34,013 husbands to prioritize their wives above all else, 506 00:18:34,652 --> 00:18:37,060 especially themselves. Husbands love your wives. Just as 507 00:18:37,139 --> 00:18:38,575 Christ, love the church. 508 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,605 So the question for Christian women, 509 00:18:42,482 --> 00:18:44,476 as you're reading this section, if your husband 510 00:18:44,476 --> 00:18:48,223 or future husband is doing what God asks 511 00:18:48,223 --> 00:18:51,399 and is putting your well being, your physical, 512 00:18:51,717 --> 00:18:52,352 your mental, 513 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,567 your emotional well being ahead of his own 514 00:18:56,179 --> 00:18:57,291 in a godly manner, 515 00:18:58,244 --> 00:19:00,230 why would you not submit yourself to a 516 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:00,468 husband? 517 00:19:01,118 --> 00:19:02,862 Like that. A Christ like man. 518 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,876 See, the pressure comes right back onto us 519 00:19:05,876 --> 00:19:07,248 the husbands. Unfortunately, 520 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,934 and sorry, guys, but it it really is. 521 00:19:10,172 --> 00:19:12,019 It begins with us. It's our covenant 522 00:19:12,707 --> 00:19:14,396 promise to our wives 523 00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:15,980 to do that. So 524 00:19:17,001 --> 00:19:18,902 If that's kinda where the rubber meets the 525 00:19:18,902 --> 00:19:21,675 road, how do we start getting traction to 526 00:19:21,675 --> 00:19:22,151 the tires? 527 00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:25,049 I think there are 4 528 00:19:25,426 --> 00:19:25,926 simple 529 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,931 keys to unlocking the door of Godly marriage. 530 00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:31,720 I've talked about them before, and we've just 531 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:32,596 talked about 3 of them. 532 00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:34,842 The first in Genesis, 533 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,073 the importance with husband and wife facing life 534 00:19:37,073 --> 00:19:40,020 in Unity is 1 flash, flash. Sorry. And 535 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,903 the second ec, we see the reasons why 536 00:19:42,903 --> 00:19:45,312 a godly marriage just makes so much sense 537 00:19:45,687 --> 00:19:48,073 and the importance of God joining us in 538 00:19:48,073 --> 00:19:48,869 that partnership. 539 00:19:49,998 --> 00:19:52,230 And 3 in ephesians 5, we learned about 540 00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:55,021 this un love and prioritizing our marriage second 541 00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:55,919 only to God 542 00:19:56,455 --> 00:19:56,695 himself. 543 00:19:58,622 --> 00:19:59,519 And the covenant 544 00:19:59,972 --> 00:20:02,515 relationship that starts with this mutual submission to 545 00:20:02,515 --> 00:20:02,992 1 another. 546 00:20:04,183 --> 00:20:06,726 And finally, there's first corinthians 13. 547 00:20:07,377 --> 00:20:08,569 I would say this is sort of the 548 00:20:08,569 --> 00:20:11,272 final the fourth key. And first Corinthians 13 549 00:20:11,272 --> 00:20:12,249 says this. If 550 00:20:12,941 --> 00:20:15,031 if I speak in the tongues of men 551 00:20:15,326 --> 00:20:17,489 or of Angels but do not have love. 552 00:20:18,205 --> 00:20:20,673 I'm only a resounding gong or clan symbol. 553 00:20:21,309 --> 00:20:23,538 If I have the gift of prophecy and 554 00:20:23,538 --> 00:20:25,703 can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and 555 00:20:25,703 --> 00:20:27,217 if I have a faith that can move 556 00:20:27,217 --> 00:20:27,535 mountains, 557 00:20:28,173 --> 00:20:29,049 but do not have love. 558 00:20:29,766 --> 00:20:30,323 I'm nothing. 559 00:20:31,613 --> 00:20:33,448 If I give all I possess to the 560 00:20:33,448 --> 00:20:35,681 poor and give over my body to hardship 561 00:20:35,681 --> 00:20:37,276 that I may boast, but do not have 562 00:20:37,276 --> 00:20:37,515 love. 563 00:20:38,313 --> 00:20:39,052 I gain 564 00:20:39,429 --> 00:20:39,748 nothing. 565 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,059 And that is kinda 566 00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,359 the why folks. It's love. 567 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,019 This love in its most profound 568 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,140 state 569 00:20:49,931 --> 00:20:51,383 And then what follows 570 00:20:51,756 --> 00:20:53,263 in verse 4 sort of the how? 571 00:20:54,135 --> 00:20:55,722 How do we do it day to day? 572 00:20:56,436 --> 00:20:58,198 How do we do it well? So in 573 00:20:58,198 --> 00:21:00,592 verse 4, it continues on, this is love 574 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,704 as patient. Love is kind. It does not 575 00:21:03,704 --> 00:21:05,300 envy. It does not boast. 576 00:21:06,033 --> 00:21:06,910 It's not proud. 577 00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:08,982 It does not honor others. 578 00:21:09,699 --> 00:21:10,894 It's not self seeking. 579 00:21:11,532 --> 00:21:12,807 It's not easily angered, 580 00:21:13,699 --> 00:21:16,087 keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not 581 00:21:16,087 --> 00:21:18,715 delight and evil, but rejoice with the truth. 582 00:21:19,272 --> 00:21:20,068 It always protects. 583 00:21:20,944 --> 00:21:21,842 Always trusts 584 00:21:22,471 --> 00:21:23,107 always hopes, 585 00:21:23,903 --> 00:21:24,880 always persevere. 586 00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:27,901 There's 14 587 00:21:28,514 --> 00:21:31,479 conditions in those last verses 7 positives 588 00:21:32,028 --> 00:21:33,224 and 7 negatives. 589 00:21:34,421 --> 00:21:36,733 And when you make the decision to pursue 590 00:21:36,733 --> 00:21:40,401 godly marriage, you simply start by eliminating the 591 00:21:40,401 --> 00:21:40,720 negatives. 592 00:21:41,690 --> 00:21:44,018 It's that easy and practicing the positives 593 00:21:44,471 --> 00:21:44,948 every day. 594 00:21:45,981 --> 00:21:48,389 Incorporating those loving behaviors 595 00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:51,642 is that fourth and final key to unlock 596 00:21:51,642 --> 00:21:53,653 that door to truly 597 00:21:54,108 --> 00:21:54,824 godly marriage. 598 00:21:55,873 --> 00:21:58,100 1 that'll be a shiny example of that 599 00:21:58,100 --> 00:22:00,964 fabric of society that family is and that 600 00:22:01,043 --> 00:22:01,543 God 601 00:22:01,998 --> 00:22:02,498 intended 602 00:22:02,808 --> 00:22:03,763 for the world to see. 603 00:22:06,389 --> 00:22:08,298 And close them prayer. Father, thank you. 604 00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:11,694 For your gift of marriage, Lord, help us 605 00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:12,630 incorporate 606 00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:16,250 your ideals of marriage into our families. You've 607 00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:17,122 given us the tools, 608 00:22:18,073 --> 00:22:18,389 father, 609 00:22:19,358 --> 00:22:21,034 Please teach us to use them. Please give 610 00:22:21,034 --> 00:22:22,151 us the will to do so. 611 00:22:23,189 --> 00:22:24,726 We wanna make you proud father 612 00:22:25,663 --> 00:22:26,641 and we pray this 613 00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:27,911 and your sung name. 614 00:22:28,788 --> 00:22:28,948 Amen. 615 00:22:30,144 --> 00:22:30,702 Worship team.