How important that is to the community.
God put marriage first, and I think we
could do well to learn from that.
It said that families are the fabric of
our society.
And as I was preparing the sermon, In
my mind, I was kinda reflecting on that
and just how
resilient
or delicate
families can be. Right? There's strong ones.
There's there's weaker ones, and there's everything in
between. So if we kinda grasp on to
the idea of fabric,
we would have to reflect on just how
many different types and styles of fabric there
are. It's almost infinite. And and that's true
about families also.
Everyone is unique in their own way. They
all have their individual characteristics,
some are strong. They wear well, summer are
delicate, and just don't stand up to hard
use.
Some look beautiful when they're new, but fade
really fast.
And then there's the tribe and true
fabric that is always reliable. It's always comfortable.
It's ever
resilient and it's always there when you need
it. That's your Blue jeans. Right?
They're good when they're new.
They're good when they're faded.
They're even better apparently when they're ripped and
torn.
So whether you like wearing Blue jeans or
not, doesn't matter. You have to admit that
they are pretty much the gold standard
of reliability when it comes to fabric.
So if family is the fabric of society,
we have a choice of making it from
something resilient and strong like denim,
or
delicate, and fragile, maybe like Lace.
And the Bible has some great instructions
on how to weave a strong
family fabric. And that's just what I wanna
look at this morning. What does the Bible
say
about marriage?
K?
Last month, if you were here. I preached
on the relevancy
of the bible in our modern day times,
and
nowhere
is the bible more relevant than addressing the
fundamentals
of a solid marriage and family.
And marriage in its intended state is ordained
by god and has an impact on so
much more
than just a husband or a wife. It
impacts everybody.
Everybody in this room is impacted by marriage
in some way. If you're a young person,
your parents marriage impacts you. If you're a
senior,
your example of marriage
impacts the generations that follow you.
If you're single, if you're separated, or maybe
divorced, marriage
may gonna be in your future. So marriage
is important to everybody.
My wife, Kelly and I are passionate about
marriage and not just ours, but everybody's,
we messed ours up a long time ago,
but God blessed us with the opportunity of
a fresh start.
Together,
Kelly and I got a chance for a
duo over, and we began to do marriage
differently.
We began
treating our marriage as something precious
because we care for the things that are
precious to us. And when we lose something
that's precious. We freak out. We don't want
that. So we began to treat our marriage
with
a new level of respect because we wanted
it to be around forever.
And that's the way God wants us to
treat our marriages,
like a precious gift from him.
We never get tired of precious things because
they give us joy.
And that's what marriage is meant to be.
It's meant to be joyous. It's meant to
be happy, fruitful,
to be fun.
But unfortunately, that's not what we often see
when we look at marriage today.
We see
that marriage as God intended it is definitely
in trouble.
The world
of marriage doesn't see it as precious.
It doesn't see the beauty in 2
becoming 1. It sees beauty in the individual.
And the world says that it's perfectly okay
to split up. It's no big deal. You
gave it a try, better luck next time.
And that's why we see so many failed
marriages
today. It's just so easy to become complacent
and lose sight. Of how precious
our marriages are.
So the world's got it wrong.
God meant for marriage to be resilient
and precious. He wants it to be strong
and to last,
just like those Blue jeans,
and he gave us all the details we
need on how to do it.
Before I get into that, I know that
there are a lot of people here that
are struggling right now in their marriages.
And I know that there are real life
reasons why some marriages
just can't go on
without major intervention. And my heart aches for
you. I've experienced
that pain,
but I want you to know that God
loves you.
And he has a plan.
Sorry.
He will look after you if you let
him in, and he can fix broken stuff.
That's a sad part but there's a solution
and the solution is in the bible as
always. And let's see what the Bible
says about how to do marriage right. Let's
open our bibles to Genesis 02:24.
In context, Genesis 02:24, this is the first
time God addressed
mankind as a couple. Okay? And it says,
that is why a man leaves his father
and mother and is united to his wife
and they become 1 flesh.
I'll say that again. Now as why a
man leaves his father and mother,
and the united to his wife and they
become 1 flesh.
There's there's a lot in that verse.
There's actually 3 separate statements in that 1
verse.
Man
leaving his father and mother, pretty straightforward. A,
man needs to become his own man and
it can't do that living in the shadow
of his father generally. And, this is not
saying that parents
are a a bad influence. What it is
saying is in preparing for marriage,
there's only room for 2 in the boat.
And parents can make
steering the boat a little more difficult.
God's intent as always is to start everything
with a clean slate.
And that's the first statement. The next statement
in there is be united
to his wife.
That word united in Hebrews
is the back, and it translates as to
cling to stick,
stay close,
cl to and to stay with.
And I think you'll agree that those words
are in pretty stark contrast to a world
where we're told to be penn
and rely on nobody but ourself Right? You
know, in the worldly context of independence, clingy,
close,
cl,
sounds weak.
It sounds c dependent, but in the context
of godly marriage,
those characteristics are the very essence
of intimacy.
In intimacy is the goal of godly marriage.
And then lastly, in that verse there's description
of 1 flesh
since they became
1 flesh.
What does that? Really mean? 1 flesh. Are
we to be tied at the hip all
the time, never alone, never away from 1
another that actually sounds more creepy than anything
else.
But the intent of that 1 flesh condition
is that it describes 2 people so closely
ent and emotionally connected that they act as
1?
Sharing a common state of intimacy.
And I think most of us have probably
experienced at 1 time
take has tasted this type of closeness, maybe
when they first fell in love. It's when
you wanna share every experience.
And moment together.
Maybe not unlike when we as new Christians
just wanna know god better, right? To be
closer to Jesus and to read his words
and
it's a beautiful thing.
That's the intimacy of 1 flesh.
But unfortunately, something happens over time because we're
people
and we tend to do dumb things. We
become complacent.
And we stop reminding ourselves of the precious
of what we have.
And we relax
from our best behavior and slowly begin to
move into different directions.
It's the most common excuse for break or
divorce
we'll just sort of drifted apart. Right? We've
all heard that. And that's what happens when
we forget
about how precious
our marriage is.
When we
start defining our pathways separately.
They will always diver to a point where
you can no longer find your way back.
You're hopeless far apart.
The pathway through life
as a couple of godly marriage is a
pathway that's designed by both of you together
and 1 that you continually
walk
together as 1.
That diver pathway
is Satan's attempt to break that 1 flesh
covenant, that relationship and into divide and conquer
marriages.
Right? Divide and conquer. There's a common misconception
the Divide and conquer means to be
efficient. Like, let's divide up you do your
list. I'll do my list and at the
end of the day, we'll have got more
done. Right? But that's not what it means.
Divide and conquer is a military term. It
says, if you divide your enemy,
you will conquer him and folks.
I think that's what Satan is doing to
marriage.
He's saying it's okay. Go you separate ways.
He says, you should look after yourself first.
Don't rely on anybody else. You have to
be independent.
Right. You shouldn't need to be dependent on
a spouse. You're your own person.
Satan wants to divide and conquer marriage, and
he's doing a pretty good job of. Unfortunately,
being dependent on somebody,
especially your spouse is not a bad thing.
Sure. You should be capable of the independence,
I think, but
you don't you might need that someday day.
Right? But what a shame to not be
dependent on the most important person in your
life.
Your partner in marriage. And for him or
her to not be dependent on you,
what a shame that would be?
So those 3 statements from Genesis 02:24
are kinda like the setup for godly marriage,
if you will. They're the conditions that are
required to get a husband and wife into
the same boat, metaphorically
speaking.
Like Metaphors because they provide us a good
mental image of something, and the something in
this case is the word marriage.
You're probably wondering how on earth can I
put boat as a metaphor for marriage, but
stick with me? I'm gonna try. Okay? The
word marriage is a noun
if you've ever thought about it, which means
it's either a person or a place or
a thing. Right? Grammar school, 01:01.
Well, it's not a place, you know, a
place where the marriage maybe was created.
It's not a person,
although there are 2 people in the marriage,
So it must be a thing. And in
order for it to be a thing, it
has to exist
on its own.
So Marriage is something that actually has to
be created and to be built. And it's
built over time
by man, a woman who have committed themselves
to use those tools of Genesis 02:24. We
just talked about To build a vessel. Here
comes the boat, Algae.
That is their marriage to protect them from
what the world have to throw of them.
That's the boat or the vessel. It has
to be built.
The boat represents that thing that is your
marriage, A vessel
that houses you and protects you from the
elements.
And if you've taken the time to build
it strong and to maintain it with care
and love,
that vessel
will protect you from anything that the world
can throw at you.
That's the boat metaphor.
And there's there's a bible passage that
explains
why
it is so so worth it to put
the effort
into that strong marriage
vessel, if you will. And we find it
in ec,
chapter 4,
versus 9 through 12. This is a wonderful
set of versus that speaks
to being alone or to be in partnership.
It says,
2 are better than 1 because they have
a good return for their labor.
If either m falls down, 1 can help
the other up, but pity
anyone who falls and has no 1 to
help them up.
Also, if 2 lie down together, they will
keep warm, but how can 1 keep warm
alone.
The 1 may be overpowered,
2 can defend themselves.
The chord of 3 strands
is not quickly broken.
So the boat analogy here is a perfect
fit to these verses because when 2 are
united
as in 1 flash.
In a strong marriage that they built together,
the vessel or the boat
has room for 1 more.
And that's the third strand because when God
sees us fulfilling his will in our marriages,
he joins us. He's like a crew member.
He is the third strand.
So now there's you,
there's your spouse
and god in that marriage vessel,
that you built together using his home blueprints.
It's beautiful thing.
Just imagine for a moment
what that would be like. And I know
some of you don't have to because you
already know what it is like. But imagine
you and your spouse and God alone in
this little vessel. Do you think it would
influence
the way you interact as a couple
each day,
knowing that god is a witness to everything
that you do and say in that vessel.
Kinda scary.
So let's make him proud by showing him
that we honor our marriages in the way
that he showed us. With it. We're doing
it United. We're doing it as 1 flash
in an ind vessel that we built together,
and we're willing
to prioritize it.
Above anything else in our lives other than
god himself.
We must prioritize
our marriages.
It has to remain your highest priority in
life because if we let anything else creep
in above it,
we begin to divide.
And this is where most people particularly men
struggle is prioritizing their marriage second
only to God.
And you might be thinking at this time
Well, wait a minute. That's so kinda unrealistic.
There's a lot of other things in this
life that we have to take care. Right?
We've have kids to raise. We have careers.
There's bills to pay our marriage. We'll be
fine when we have all those things in
order.
We'll be happy when the mortgage is paid.
We'll be happy when the kids are in
college. When we get all that done,
we can really start working on our marriage.
No.
Because by then,
the damage is done.
By then the ship is not only leaking,
it's sinking.
And that
describes this sort of elusive battle that married
couples around the world fight, balancing everything that
life is throwing at them all the time
while trying
to maintain this thing
called marriage.
Keep the priority up. It it's a classic
what comes first, the chicken or the egg.
Great? It's it's gonna be... Is it gonna
be all the things of life that distract
us? Or is it gonna be your marriage?
What comes first?
The things of life are never gonna go
away. They'll be here forever,
but unfortunately, your marriage might.
So let's check back with the bible here,
and let's
we're gonna turn to the new testament. Should
be on the screen above us, and we're
gonna look in the book of ephesians.
Ephesians 05:25.
I think you guys have heard this 1.
It says husbands
love your wives.
Just as Christ also loved the church and
gave himself up for her.
Husbands love your wives just as Christ also
loved the church and gave himself up for
her.
This is Paul, the the apostle
drawing
another metaphor between marriage
and the church. And he's saying husbands
put your wives ahead of everything else except
God because that's what Christ did with his
church. Christ was the ultimate example.
Of doing that un love, literally putting his
life
his church. Ahead of his own life. Right?
So Paul is saying to the men of
ethic emphasis in this case, guys, if you
want a happy marriage,
make your wife and your marriage, your highest
priority second only to god.
I'm guessing most of the wives in the
room today are probably thinking, yeah. Yeah. Right
on.
And some of the husbands might be thinking
what where's golf and hunting fit into that.
Right?
Well,
pro tip here guys is we can hunt
golf with our wives too.
But it really folks. This is where
the rubber meets the road, if you will.
If you want any of what we've been
talking about, to work
in your marriage. You need to elevate your
marriage
above all else,
except God. And the couples that figure that
out,
are the happiest couples on the planet.
And if you doubt it,
try it. The result will amaze you because
it's god's result. It's god's intent. Husbands
love your wives just as Christ also loved
the church and gave himself up for her.
So that there is the challenge for the
husbands.
But what about the wives?
Paul addresses the wives in this passage too,
but we gotta backup up couple of verses
with infusions,
verse 22
says, wives submit to your husbands
as to the Lord. And I know that
verse can generate some hate mail, but
Ladies, let me explain that this passage is
nowhere near as controversial as what many had
been led to believe. What these versus our
saying has to be taken in context with
this entire section of verse, not just 1
sentence.
If we back up 1 more verse into
verse 21,
It says it starts to submit to 1
another out of reverence for Christ.
And then it goes on to describe that
This is a mutual submission because it requires
husbands to prioritize their wives above all else,
especially themselves. Husbands love your wives. Just as
Christ, love the church.
So the question for Christian women,
as you're reading this section, if your husband
or future husband is doing what God asks
and is putting your well being, your physical,
your mental,
your emotional well being ahead of his own
in a godly manner,
why would you not submit yourself to a
husband?
Like that. A Christ like man.
See, the pressure comes right back onto us
the husbands. Unfortunately,
and sorry, guys, but it it really is.
It begins with us. It's our covenant
promise to our wives
to do that. So
If that's kinda where the rubber meets the
road, how do we start getting traction to
the tires?
I think there are 4
simple
keys to unlocking the door of Godly marriage.
I've talked about them before, and we've just
talked about 3 of them.
The first in Genesis,
the importance with husband and wife facing life
in Unity is 1 flash, flash. Sorry. And
the second ec, we see the reasons why
a godly marriage just makes so much sense
and the importance of God joining us in
that partnership.
And 3 in ephesians 5, we learned about
this un love and prioritizing our marriage second
only to God
himself.
And the covenant
relationship that starts with this mutual submission to
1 another.
And finally, there's first corinthians 13.
I would say this is sort of the
final the fourth key. And first Corinthians 13
says this. If
if I speak in the tongues of men
or of Angels but do not have love.
I'm only a resounding gong or clan symbol.
If I have the gift of prophecy and
can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and
if I have a faith that can move
mountains,
but do not have love.
I'm nothing.
If I give all I possess to the
poor and give over my body to hardship
that I may boast, but do not have
love.
I gain
nothing.
And that is kinda
the why folks. It's love.
This love in its most profound
state
And then what follows
in verse 4 sort of the how?
How do we do it day to day?
How do we do it well? So in
verse 4, it continues on, this is love
as patient. Love is kind. It does not
envy. It does not boast.
It's not proud.
It does not honor others.
It's not self seeking.
It's not easily angered,
keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight and evil, but rejoice with the truth.
It always protects.
Always trusts
always hopes,
always persevere.
There's 14
conditions in those last verses 7 positives
and 7 negatives.
And when you make the decision to pursue
godly marriage, you simply start by eliminating the
negatives.
It's that easy and practicing the positives
every day.
Incorporating those loving behaviors
is that fourth and final key to unlock
that door to truly
godly marriage.
1 that'll be a shiny example of that
fabric of society that family is and that
God
intended
for the world to see.
And close them prayer. Father, thank you.
For your gift of marriage, Lord, help us
incorporate
your ideals of marriage into our families. You've
given us the tools,
father,
Please teach us to use them. Please give
us the will to do so.
We wanna make you proud father
and we pray this
and your sung name.
Amen.
Worship team.