Alright, everybody. Welcome to the oh, this is
the fourth episode of playing games with strangers,
the
hit Internet phenomenon
that's taking the world by storm with Dungeons
and Dragons.
Yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, I'm your DM for the evening.
My name is John. How are you?
And with us this evening, we have Catherine
Zirwinski.
Did I say it right? Hey.
Heck, yeah.
Yeah. What's that? First time for everything. I
saw. And that was Steve McDonald or Stevie
Mac as I've taken to calling him. How
are you doing, pals and gals?
We have
the big man on campus, Josiah Crandall, coming
at you live from Kansas.
Hello. Hello.
Carry on my wayward son.
And the biggest star of us all, worldwide
renowned
author,
writer
JS Earls
coming at you live from Florida State. So,
does anybody have any announcements that we wanna
throw out there before we play the intro
music?
Nope. All set. Nope. Nope.
Alright. Well, without any further ado, let's get
into the next episode
of playing games with strangers.
Alright, so where we left off
last time,
our stranger, our strangers,
our party
had
just come up out of
a house with a really peculiar basement.
Searching for
the box that you were contracted to find
by Mary Dusang
of the, Dusang
crime syndicate.
The box got opened in the basement, and
what appears to be the
soul
of Mary Dusang
had slipped out of it, but not in
its normal state. It seemed almost
corrupted.
You guys made your way back to the
Dusangue estate with the actual box
minus the contents, and you found that everybody
on the estate was no longer amongst the
living
or as I put it, you found them
as
a mound
of human pudding
in the throne room
with the dry husk that is Mary Dusan's
former body on the throne.
And that was the situation where we left
you.
But before we jump into tonight's game of
d and d,
I have a special treat for you guys.
Everybody levels up. Woo hoo.
Yay.
I mean, hurl hurl
hurl. So, does everybody know how to level
up?
Does anybody know how to level up? Yes.
Oh, I'm assuming Josiah and
Catherine probably do. I've done it once or
twice. No. I never I never advanced far
enough. My character no. Yeah. Yeah.
Usually, by this time, my character's dead. So
And done.
So,
alright.
We left off with you guys in the
throne room of Mary Dusang
with a
mass of human and other creature flesh in
gelatinous pudding form around you,
what do you do?
I don't think that, this is what we're
supposed to be doing.
I could be wrong.
Oh, well,
I think
that this has been fun, everyone.
But
we did not get paid here,
and I did not get paid at my
fight earlier.
So
perhaps I will return
to collect my winnings.
Or we could fight again, you know, maybe
get you back in the ring.
Oh, well. Oh, no. That is an interesting
idea.
The crowd did seem to love me. What
do we do with the box?
Leave it here, I guess. I mean
I unless you want it.
I
don't think we should
let it fall into the wrong hands. I
mean, it's, like, steals people's souls or something.
Well, why don't you hang on to it?
And if your soul goes into the box,
we'll take care of it. Oh, we will
not open it in a room full of
mirrors.
Or that.
Perhaps you can keep your
sword
in it.
Maybe,
some sandwiches.
Garris what did you say
I think we should
check around town to see if anyone knows
what happened here while we were gone
I did meet a couple of fellows at
the fighting ring
who seemed
to tell
me a thing or two about the fight
if I'm recalling correctly.
Something about throwing someone. Poo, I would like
you to make a perception check, please.
Gladly.
That would
be nine.
Okay.
I'm gonna say
that
you're not entirely
certain,
but amongst the
chunks and splatters that you're seeing in here,
you see bits of familiar looking
fabric that look like it would be about
the,
same kind of fabric and design that you
saw one of those two trolls wearing.
They looked a little bit like
that over there except
less squashed.
Now if I could perhaps
provide
my own personal insight to this. I'm sure
you're all dying to hear it.
Now we got requested
to this
very interesting place run by people who do
very interesting things, you know.
And,
she seemed as though she could have handled
herself in most situations.
Except here, where things went very poorly very
quickly.
So it would appear to me that maybe
we should not go around asking questions
about what happened,
verify, you know, letting people know that we
were here. I agree.
Maybe we should just, you know, drop the
box,
wipe off any, signs that we were here
and
go get a drink. I think we need
to keep our eyes on the box.
Isn't this person from the letter we read
looking for us? Shouldn't we keep it with
us
in case he wants it? No. I don't
know if he wanted the box so much
as he wanted to, you know, perhaps gut
us and eat us. But, you you know,
if you want to hold on to the
box, you go ahead. I mean, it couldn't
hurt us. Right? It's just a box. Yes.
We've had really good luck with boxes,
chests,
things in that nature.
That is true.
But this is
a little more friendly
looking
and doesn't have quite so many teeth. Should
we at least throw it in the water
or or something?
Don't you have
some holy stuff you could do to the
box?
I don't wanna waste it on this box.
Truth be told, I'm more concerned with that
man coming to look for us that did
all this.
I believe it was a goat. I
believe it was a very powerful goat and
we should still be careful. Most of them
are.
Powerful beings they are.
Majestic.
I'm gonna go now so that we're not
here if people decide to show up and,
you know, get revenge for this.
Oh, yes. I think we should head back
to the tavern
and I might have a few words with
the game master about
my winnings.
That is what I will do. Or, you
know, maybe we should find a different tavern
that also has fighting pits.
I didn't win at those fighting pits.
Yeah. But, you know, she took you. So
if you go back there now, I suppose
that people will be questioning why you showed
up there and she didn't and she's dead
and you're alive.
But, you know, I'll yeah. Sure. What you
just said confused me very
much.
I'm not trying I'll change you a fight.
Okay. Safer place.
A safer fight. I agree. The fight can
be deadly.
Let's let's be going in away from this
place.
Alright.
I mean, I don't have any personal attachments
to this place. I will gladly follow you
out
as I followed you in.
Well, you you weren't personally attached to this
place.
Oh, yes. With those chains over there.
Yes.
Might I I don't remember if I did
this last time, but are there any,
like, tracks or signs of people that have
come in and left
that are not currently putting?
Are you actively looking for some?
Heck, yeah. I'm doing that ranger stuff. Alright.
Make an investigation check, please. Oh. Oh. An
investigation
check? About survival?
You're not out in the woods or tracking.
You're just looking for
tell you what,
I'll
let
you
choose
survival
or
investigation.
Good. Because I'm not a smart boy.
It would be a 19.
Alright.
So you
are looking around trying to find tracks. You're
you're trying to basically Prince Humperdinck the situation
here. You're not seeing any actual tracks
going through the gore. It's just like the
gore
happened.
You do notice mirrors
throughout
this, throne room have been shattered.
Does it appear as though the mirrors were
shattered from the inside or from the outside?
Why don't you make that investigation check now?
Yeah. Alright. I can do that now.
That's a 15.
It does look like the trajectory of the
glass pieces
are pushed out from the mirrors.
Oh, and I thought I wasn't a smart
boy.
I'm no
people. I won't Yeah.
You guys. Yes.
I don't
mean to cause undue
concern on top of what we've already found
out here. But I'm I'm gonna guess that
our friend's,
ghostly spirit is following
either where her body was or us. Not
sure.
But came out of that mirror.
Did some things. We might want to go
faster and stay away from mirrors.
You're saying someone's haunting us?
Or her. I don't know. But she's dead,
so, you know, we're the only live ones
here. Again the words you used and the
order you used them confused me slightly.
Well let's head back to the tavern. I
would like to check with some people there
to see if they know anything more about
this.
Oh, so we're going down that road then.
Ugh.
Asking questions about the dead people that we
were in contact with. I vote no. I
vote no.
I also vote no. If we're taking a
if this is a democracy
and we're voting.
I wonder if there's any treasure around here.
I'm absent mindedly looking around. I'm not paying
attention to your guys' conversation.
Alright. While you guys are talking, you see
your bugbear companion is sifting through the, viscera.
And, I'll roll in investigation for that? Sure.
How about a a solid
nine?
You find a bunch of meaty chunks,
and you're pretty certain that it it'll turn
to gravy and water.
Good.
I'm gonna set the box down. I'm gonna
start to head for the door. I'm a
peace out of this. Following him. Yeah. I'm
I'm gonna follow him too.
I'm leaving the box there.
Poop or you step
I,
I sift around a little bit more. I
see that they're leaving,
and I start walking after them. And I
I pick up the box on my way
out. Alright. Well, it looks like you forgot
something.
Why don't you look in there for treasure?
Oh.
Well, that's a very good idea.
I'll open up the box and see if
there's any treasure inside. You notice the four
holes in the bottom of it that got
kinda pulled out when
the box was removed from its podium that
it was bolted to. Oh,
a bother. It has holes in it.
This is not a very good box at
all. Probably fell off the bottom.
Oh, that's it. That's quite troublesome.
I don't think I'll ever
get my
find,
words.
I don't think I'll ever amass a large
sum of money now. Leave the box, poo.
Well, seeing that the box
could not hold anything very well anymore,
I
suppose I will set it down right
now. I set it down and give it
a a couple gentle pats.
Okay. And then I follow the rest of
them out.
Poo, I don't know if this is the
time to tell you, but,
I am here for you, you know.
Well, I'm glad you have my back.
Might I remind everyone that there were some
authorities that were looking for us
at the house we went into,
and they probably know about the dead people
at the Dead person. Tavern we were at.
Just one.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, maybe we should find a
smaller tavern
that will provide us with information
if you wanted to ask questions in this
town that you're not familiar with and
drink and food and perhaps nothing else of
interest.
Does anyone here know of such a tavern?
I haven't been in the city very long
myself.
What time is it now? Like, what time
of day? You guys have been out doing
your,
dark work in throughout the night.
I'd say it is probably about two in
the morning,
maybe closer to three.
Well, my lodgings are at the Laughing Lamia.
So perhaps we could at least go there
and
wait it out until the morning. Which sounds
like such a bad idea.
Maybe we could just sleep right here with
all the dead people.
We already left all the dead people.
They're back there, not right here. I'm I'm
just saying if we're choosing to sleep where
people are dead
Well, you guys seem to be a very
decisive bunch of people.
I think I will accompany my friend here.
And I put my arm around Gareth.
Back to the laughing
Lamia and perhaps see about my winnings. Yes.
Come friends. And I start working off. And
I'm walking with you.
I'm going to I look at Orbug. Yeah.
I'm gonna I'm gonna say you would like
trouble.
Familiar?
I guess,
or I know. I'm here for that one,
so I follow them.
Alright. I'm following them too. Heading back to
the Laughing Lamia.
I put my hood up.
So so you
guys make your way back to the laughing
Lamia in and it's, it's an inn, so
it's open at all hours, you know, cause
wandering travelers passing through is money. So you
get there and, minding
the counter and the rest of the
establishment
is fairly empty. Do I recognize the person,
having stayed there? You do. It's just, you
don't know them by name, but you know
them by face.
You see them there. They kind of give
you a nod. They know you're standing there.
Okay. I nod to them and give them
a smile and
head up to or down to wherever I'm
staying.
Up to your room. Alright. Yes.
And then Shu looks at the rest of
the three of you and is like,
so
the three of you,
one room or three rooms or how I
I'm assuming you're here for a room because,
that's pretty much the only thing that's available
at the moment.
They're here with me.
How much is is is a room for
the night typically?
It it like in any other establishment, it's
gonna vary by establishment
and city. How much am I paying? Presently,
you're,
presently you're, you have paid,
5 gold to stay for the week,
and you're about three days into it. I'll
take 5 gold out of my my pocket
and or whatever,
and just put it on the counter and
wave the others up with me.
Are they all gonna be staying in your
room? Yes, ma'am.
Do you recall
the game
master, the announcer fellow
who worked here?
Oh, you mean Jerry?
Yes, Jerry. A nice fellow. He owes me
money.
Or you'll have to take that with him.
Oh, yes. I would, but I don't know
where he's at. That's why I was asking
you.
He's at home right now. I mean, it's
It's almost
it's almost three in the morning. I mean,
what will you expect him to live here?
Well, I I assume so
he was here earlier,
so why would he not be here now?
Because this is where he works, not his
home.
Oh,
I didn't know you could have two different
places like that.
I work from my home.
Callum, you noticed this this girl look at
you,
like, kinda with this help look on her
face.
Callum walks away.
Oh, no.
So savage.
I'm sure what you're all saying is. And
I keep trying to have this conversation
with her about where
Jerry might be. Can you tell us his
address?
No. I can't. That's, personal information that's handled
by HR directly. I don't have access to
that information.
And even if I did, I could not
disperse that as it is protected information under
the laws of the land. Yes. Where where
is this HR fellow? Or maybe you could
give us his address.
Does he live here?
I bet he does. Right.
You know, Jerry will just be here tomorrow
morning if you if you just wait.
Oh. Oh, why didn't you say so in
the first place?
Right.
Well then, yeah, he'll be here tomorrow, so
maybe if you just go get some rest
and then tomorrow morning, you can look for
him then. I'm not so certain he will
show up as to
him owing us all money.
She she looks at you with the face
of why are you doing this?
Because he owes us money.
No. He'll he'll definitely be able to pay
you tomorrow
as part of his job,
and if the if this is in regards
to the fight that happened tonight, I there'll
be plenty of money,
to pay with because,
not very many people bet on the bugbear.
So
we make quite a bit.
So,
you know. Oh, well, in that case, I
will go up and take a nice little
rest. Right.
In the room.
Right.
Good evening.
I raise my eyebrow at her before I
leave. I don't totally trust that what she's
saying is gonna happen is gonna happen.
She just stares blankly at you.
Yeah,
what is it? What is she? Is she
human?
Yeah. She's like, she's like a human 16
year old, probably, like, trying to work we're
trying to work her way through school.
Okay. Well, I'm following poo, I guess, going
up for
for camp Gareth.
Alright. So you guys head up into this
one bedroom,
the four of you,
and there you are with a bed and
a desk and a chair in it.
And we take a long rest. Okay. Fast
forward. What the
I'm just trying to figure out They were
downstairs talking. I took the chair.
Alright. So people are sleeping on the ground.
Once someone's sleeping on the ground, then someone's
probably sleeping on the desk, I'm assuming.
I'll sleep with my back
against the wall. I'll sleep on the desk.
We are playing human Tetris, everybody.
Alright. There's only one human involved. Oh, there's
no humans involved.
Inhuman Tetris.
That just makes me think of some torturous
Inhumane Tetris.
Now you're speaking my level.
So
you wake up eight hours later, well rested,
you have all your hit points, you have
all your spell slots.
What would you like to do?
One thing I would like to do today
is,
perhaps purchase new armor and
maybe better weapons.
I would like to do today
is get something to eat and then talk
to Jerry.
I believe Jerry also owes me money. So
Well, let's go find him.
I
open up the door and head downstairs,
or assume it's downstairs. We went upstairs. I'll
wait Pooh.
Jerry.
Are you still
You Pooh, you come to a set of
stairs that goes both up and down.
Which one are you taking?
Down, I believe.
No.
Poo would go up.
Which way does, he smell food coming from?
Make a perception check.
Which way did we come from?
That would be a four for perception.
You are not sure where you're smelling the
food. It's kind of humid and, It smells
pretty good. Alright. Well, I'm gonna go down
because
I believe I remember going
upstairs.
See, this is this is me punishing Josiah
for not remembering details.
But do I remember coming upstairs?
Well, I don't know. Do you?
Go for it. Intelligence.
I'm very good at directions. Well, she said
she was following Pooh, so Right? Yeah. If
Pooh Well, I followed him out of the
room.
I don't know how far I'll take this
I follow him thing.
That's not crazy now.
Fine. I'll follow the troublemakers.
Gareth, I'm assuming you're going to?
Yeah. But I'll be heading towards where I
know everything is because I've stayed here before.
Right,
which means you're going downstairs.
So y'all get downstairs, there's a smell of
food cooking
on the air and
there's a light morning bustle
of folks coming in, getting
a morning meal and going about their business.
How big of
a city is this?
Waterdeep? It's a pretty big city.
It'd be like, you know, Chicago.
Is there like a daily news
media
medium?
There's a town crier that comes through every
so often.
Okay, have we heard him at all today?
You have not.
Okay.
Would I typically have heard him by now?
Based off of the time you went to
bed, you went to bed in the evening
around three in the morning
and
having slept for eight hours,
it's about eleven
in the morning right now. Mhmm.
So I'm a
say you probably slept through it. Okay. Jerry?
Well, I heard Caleb crying in his sleep.
Jerry.
Do we see Jerry down here? Jerry?
Jerry?
Do I see Jerry?
Make a perception check.
Oh, that's a nat 20.
You see him. Wasted.
You see him so good.
It's all it's almost like, you knew where
to look in the ring as he was
cleaning up the ring for today's festive use.
I start walking towards him.
Okay.
Jerry.
I see that. I tap Gu on the
arm. Yeah.
Jerry, there you are. So good to see
you again.
Right. Right.
How can I help you?
I don't believe you owe me money.
I don't believe you owe me more
money.
Probably.
Alright.
So he hands you a 110 gold.
We we were paying out, 10 to one
on that. So,
that you're that that would,
that that should be it right there as
he hands it over to you.
Appreciated.
And, Pooh, did I ever say how much
was your was for the title?
Maybe
it was a lot.
He hands you a sack
of gold.
You know, there you go. There you go.
For your for your,
for your fight
Thank you very much Jerry
Do you have any more fights?
Not for a while you kind of
killed the champ
Yes, that would make me the champ I
believe.
Right.
But,
you know, it's like a circuit. They have
to work their way up to you sort
of thing. Of course. Of course. Can't just
fight anyone.
Well, let me know when it's my turn.
We certainly will.
Josiah, go ahead and add 350
gold tiers.
Can do.
I was gonna say I bet on the,
bug bear too, but I don't remember how
much I bet. Were you talk did you
approach Jerry? I just
No. I did not know. Because I still
trying to keep an eye on the whole
situation.
I don't I'm not really comfortable being here.
Once I have my money, I'm heading back
towards Orbog.
Okay.
Gareth, in while they're doing this, were you
doing were you and Orbog doing anything?
I was just standing with Orbog, looking around
to see if anyone is, you know,
talking about any
crazy stuff that happened last night. Just trying
to get the tenor of the place. Looking
for, Dottie as well, see if she's around.
But she was there last night, so I'm
not expecting her to be there in the
morning as well. But who knows? She might
be. Did you say anything about wanting to
go on a shopping spree? Yeah, I did.
I was waiting for them to get some
cash, and then maybe they could join. Yeah.
Alright. As you're looking around, Dottie yeah. She's
be she's Dottie's behind the counter.
Okay.
Dottie, how are you today?
Oh, hey there.
I'm doing I'm doing good.
How how how are how are you doing
this morning, Gareth? We're doing very well. I
have some friends staying with me.
Oh. Are are they,
are they family?
She she looks at the rest of you.
Oh, I I suppose not,
No, not family.
No. You will find that Dragonborn,
although they revere their family very much,
they don't,
travel very much with them
being so very small.
Oh. Well, were were you, were you looking
for,
breakfast this morning? We've got the,
boiled calves liver
and,
sourdough bread.
Excellent.
Four breakfasts then.
Alright.
That'll be 2 silver, please.
Give her five.
Oh, you're so kind.
And
she goes in the back.
Pooh and Callum, as you're approaching,
you
approach the counter that,
Orbog and Gareth are standing at, and there
are four plates that have a chunk of
bread
and a slice of what is very reminiscent
of what you saw in Mary Dusseigne's chamber
the night before,
except it looks fairly blanched.
A a bar barkeep?
Yeah.
Bugbear?
Oh, would would would you happen to have
any honey back there to go with this
bread?
No, we don't.
We've just got the, boiled calves liver
and sourdough.
That's what we have for breakfast.
And then I start eating anyway.
I also sit down and begin to eat
regardless.
Yes. I don't take very long to eat.
And as I finish, I look to the
others and say,
oh, well, it has been a great deal
of fun
adventuring with the world.
But now that I have
what I came here for,
I need to see
someone about a piece of information.
And then I stand up to leave.
I stand up too. Yeah. And I'm gonna
stand up too, and I'm gonna say
it would probably be wise for us to
stay together.
Yes. Would you like company?
I don't know about all that, but does
your information have anything to do with going
home?
Because what I was trying to say before
is I was here to bring you home.
So Oh. You're here to bring me home.
Very nice. Very nice of you.
I
am on an important
mission
I am looking for my lost friend
and I was told
that there is a fellow who might have
some information about him What is your friend's
name? Oh my friend His name is Christopher.
Oh, no.
So
I'm gonna you know, Gorr sent me to
come get you because he said you shouldn't
be in town with people.
So if you're not going back yet, I
don't think I should go back because I
don't think he's gonna be happy if I
don't, you know.
He's not very he's never very happy.
I noticed that about him.
Yes. I if you want to accompany
on the company if
you want to come with me, I just
look
for my friend.
You would be glad. I would oh dear.
It's too early in the morning.
Fine. Let's go find your friend. Where? Okay
then.
And I head out the door, and I
have
no clue where I'm supposed to be looking
for this sky. Awesome.
Christopher's probably robbing someone.
And here he likes the woods,
but I don't know much about them. So
Only a 100 acres.
Yes.
Very specific.
All right. So, so you take a step
outside and you are out in the great
wide world where I, you guys gotta tell
me what you're doing. So what, what exactly
is our plan here? Are we just going
to start walking around Yona's name?
I would, I would still like to do
my shopping first. It won't take long.
Where are we shopping though?
I suppose if you want to stop by
somewhere, I can ask if they know where
I could get
find the person who I'm looking for information
from.
Is actually You're doing you're doing really well
right now. Do we need coffee?
Poo.
Yeah. Quick
question. What is Tar?
The person
I'm looking for. Right. But more specifically,
if you know. Tar
is not a bugbear.
A Christopher
is a bugbear cub. A Tar is a
villain and a scoundrel.
All I know is the name.
I assume he's human because
they are usually of villains and scoundrels.
Yeah. I mean, I can agree with that.
That sounds about right.
No offense.
I mean, none taken. So
let's stop by where
we can buy some stuff. Perhaps they have
some honey. That will make me think much
better. And maybe Christopher will be there and
You never know.
Alright. So we head to an armourer, or
if I know of
any place in town that would be
similar to my alignment that would,
provide magic weapons and armor,
we would head there.
Hey, big spender.
Most places that you go to, and you
would know this, are fairly
agnostic as far as
morality. Morality is concerned. They don't Alright. They
don't deal with the particulars of alignment.
Okay. So in this world, would we know
where, like, you would look for a missing
person that would it be, like, if you
were starting to ask, would it be at
the authorities
or would there be somewhere else? Well, any
town's gonna have Keepers of the Peace. Is
anybody else following Gareth to a
store? Or I'm
following Poo at this point. Yeah. I'm I'm
going I'm going with him for the moment.
Okay.
Yeah. I'm well and I'm following the those
two.
We've all got our safety buddies.
Alright. Well, everybody's following you, Gareth. So
you encounter
a store. It looks like it's just opening,
and they don't have their signage out yet,
but it does have an open sign on
the front.
Okay. Then it looks as though they sell
armor and such? It looks like they sell
all kinds of stuff.
Oh, okay.
Let's try here first.
Alright. You walk in there and you see,
a wizard
wearing a set of gray robes and he
fairly young looking human, actually. Probably in his
mid thirties. He's got kinda like a Fu
Manchu style mustache. He's like, how can I
help
you? Mustache.
He's like,
how can I help you?
Well met, good sir.
I am looking for,
armor and arms.
If you have,
javelins.
Alright.
And then he kind of shuffles off. Shuffles
off. And
you see
he he pulls out a set of armor.
He's like,
this armor's
really sturdy,
and it'll keep you
a little bit extra safe than regular armor.
And what is the cost of this?
It's gonna be 1,500
gold.
Perhaps a step down from that.
Oh, then you're just kind of talking about
regular armor.
It looks like you already got that.
Do you have any Javelins?
Yeah. You just want regular javelins.
How much would they be if they weren't
regular?
Well, it depends on what they are.
Could you show me a selection?
Yeah. And he pulls out this one Javelin.
It's just every
couple seconds you see kinda like a spark
of energy shooting down the shaft.
Oh, I like that.
This this is the Javelin of Lightning.
And the price?
1,500.
Perhaps just some regular Javelins then?
He pulls out a Javelin, he's like there
are five silver.
One javelin then.
Here you go.
I was
thinking
while I was waiting here,
and I remember
something.
What?
I remembered the person who I was looking
for
to help me find the other person I
was looking for.
Does this have nothing to do with me?
Oh, it does. Do you know,
Tar or White Hart?
What?
I believe his name is Tar.
Who?
No. That's me.
You're who?
No, I'm Pooh. I thought you said Pooh,
not who.
I don't get it.
Oh, what? Don't you get my name or
Tar
White Hart, who I am looking for.
I don't know who that is.
Oh, I believe he runs
the
the slave
market.
That's gross.
Get out.
Well,
if you happen to remember
where he is,
do let me know. So I'm not with
them. Can I stay?
I don't care. You're not going to a
slave market, are you?
Well, I, you know, I haven't planned off
my day yet, but,
do you happen to sell potions or should
I find a different shop?
No. We sell everything here.
I find that it, might be useful,
you know, given the way that the world
is these days to have a couple of
healing potions on hand, if you have any.
Yeah. You're well, you're in the wall market.
So
Maybe a little bit. We we got a
little bit of everything. What are you looking
for?
Well, a healing potion, I believe Oh. Is
what I just said. But, you know, take
your time. I thought you were
gonna do something interesting.
Well, what would you like to sell me?
Let's start there.
Well, I mean,
if you want a potion,
what do you wanna do with the potion?
I mean, we got fire breathing, we got
climbing,
invisibility,
mind reading,
animal friendship. You look like someone would would
be an animal friendship. Yeah. Not particularly good
with the animals. Do you have demon Lord
repellent? Wait. What? Is that a thing? You
said you had everything.
I I don't have a tendency to be
that close to people
and that I need those things.
If you have anything that works from a
distance,
you know, there's a Potion of flying,
clairvoyance.
Don't really need those.
Invulnerability.
No.
Longevity.
Fun and exciting. They all sounded.
What is the cost for these?
Well, Well, it depends on which one you
want.
The ones you've mentioned, what are the costs
for them? They differ. I mean,
you go from 180
all the way up to,
9,000.
The potion of healing,
say. Oh, you're gonna go with the boring
ones too.
Potion of healing is 50 gold.
And that's the strongest one you've got?
No.
But he asked for a potion of healing.
Have you ever heard
of upselling?
Let me do you a favor. You you
and my boss.
It behooves you
to sell me something
more expensive
than what I'm asking for. As long as
I have a buy a potion of longevity?
It's 9,000 gold.
As long as it's not too too much
higher than what I'm asking for.
Give me some options, and perhaps I'll use
this potion of healing for a 100.
Maybe I'll use my persuasion.
Try to talk him back down to his
original price. Yeah. I have a potion of
superior healing.
For
how about
that's 450
gold.
Potion of greater
potent?
Well, I mean,
it has the potential to do more.
Three times more?
I don't know. I sell the stuff. I
don't use it.
I don't even make it. Can we browse,
or
do you need to keep bringing things to
us?
I'm sitting outside waiting for you guys to
finish shopping.
I'm going outside to,
keep an eye on everything too.
On a display of unique items,
you see a,
kind of a bird, an origami style bird
that's made out of ribbon.
You see a ring
with
a bunch
of jangly keys hanging off of it.
You see a ring with an opal in
it. You see a kazoo.
You see three packs
of something that has a walking pitcher full
of a red substance on it.
And then you see a wand.
And you see a dagger. What are the
prices for these things over here on this
unique table?
Depends on which the ones you want,
but they're on sale right now.
So
Lowest to highest given to me?
They go from $1.50
to 300.
And, what do they do?
Well,
like, oh wait, no, these two are 50
gold each, and he points at the,
the origami bird and
the the three packets of
something.
It's a literal ribbon, and you whisper into
it, and it folds into an origami bird,
and it flies off to deliver your message.
Once it leaves you, you have to wait
for somebody to send a message back, but
it's a means of long distance communication.
Okay.
A magical means.
Alright. Sort of like giving somebody a voicemail.
And the packets o' stuff, it comes as
a three pack and it's a box of
Woll Aid
containing a variety,
a variety pack of sugar mixtures in water
deep fruit punch, Baldur's Gate grape,
and Lucian lime.
When applied to a wall, it summons a
spectral picture of red liquid with a crazy
grin
and lack of regard to people's property. And
it bursts through the side of a wall
and it shouts, oh, yeah.
My daddy wanted it.
Oh, yeah. Once done, the pitcher dissolves instantly,
leaving behind the liquid. It tastes delicious.
And it's actually it's on sale right now
for 25 gold for the box of three
packets.
So basically, so it's a means of making
a hole in a wall. Got it. And
having something to drink afterwards.
Something like that.
Now, what would be for $150
you said?
That would be this knife here,
and
this,
this ring of keys.
And what do they do? Okay, so the
the knife
is called the incriminating dagger.
Perhaps the worst item to have on a
person if you're ever searched, this dagger is
always covered in fresh blood.
The blood can be wiped off, but appears
fresh again on the blade when it is
drawn. But it does deal an extra,
d four
of of, poison damage due to the tainted
blood being on the blade.
Okay. And the other? That one is an
item I put in for flavor. It's not
really gonna be anything that anybody in this
group is gonna be able to use,
but this is something that has come in
handy in another
campaign that I've run.
It is called the janitor's key ring,
k I.
Uh-huh.
This ring of jangling mystical keys hangs off
your belt and each key functions like a
point of key,
basically giving plus five points of key on
a full ring.
But jangling keys always give the wearer disadvantage
on stealth roles. Keys regenerate at a rate
of one d four plus one at the
dawn of every day, requires attunement.
This is great for anybody who plays a
monk.
Oh, okay,
okay. For the 300,
300
ones you got this kazoo
and this,
ring.
And so,
the toot toot kazoot
requires attunement. Golden kazoo with the power to
cause
the very earth beneath your feet to give
way. Once per dawn, you can cause
a tremor in the ground within 10 feet
of you. Each creature other than you in
that area must make a dex a dex
saving throw, d c 14.
On a failed save, creature takes three d
six bludgeoning damage and is knocked prone.
The ground in that area is loose earth
or stone and becomes difficult terrain until cleared.
And each five foot diameter portion
requiring at least one minute to clear by
hand. And
And the ring is the ring of the
grammarian.
Once per day the wearer of this ring
can change a letter in the name of
a spell
they cast to change the effect of the
spell. For instance,
cause fear becomes cause bear.
The outcome of the change would be determined
by the DM.
I'm trying to think how
how that would work.
I like that one though. Let me take
the kazoo.
Alright.
And,
the three pack. So you're sitting at $3.25.
And what was the first one that was
25
to 50 something?
The Robin's Ribbon?
Yes. The Robin's Ribbon. I'll take that as
well. Alright. So you're at $3.75.
And
you do have, potions of greater healing. Yes?
Callum's gonna pick up the ring.
For fun, you know. Oh, I I get
it.
Alright. So Orbog and I are sitting outside,
right?
Mhmm. Okay. Actually, yes. Let's do this. So
that's going on inside. While that's happening, Orbog
and
Pooh, you guys are outside.
And Pooh, you see another bugbear approaching.
Oh.
Hello there, friend.
Pooh, is that you?
Oh, well,
I suppose so. I don't know who else
I would be.
Okay. Poo, you recognize Bugbear. His name is
Caius.
Roger that.
With a k? Yep.
K y u s s, Kyuss.
Got it. And he approaches you and he
goes,
we need you to we need you to
come back to the come back to the
tribe.
There has been an attempt on the life
of the colonel.
Oh, dear.
Oh, gosh.
And we think that it was ordered by
the Bulger King.
Well,
that is disturbing news, and
I will gladly return.
But, first,
I must find my friend, Christopher.
You you don't understand. This is very dire.
The bulgur king has put an attempt in
on the colonel of Sanders.
If nothing happens
If nothing happens we don't we don't have
we don't have
our champion there to to help protect us.
If we get challenged,
the colonel himself is going to have to
fight the challenge.
And if he loses,
that would be it. That would be it.
Very disturbing news.
Very disturbing indeed.
Almost as disturbing
as
what I found out about some of our
fellow bugbears.
Do you recall?
And I give him a intimidating
look.
Roll intimidation.
Alright.
15
plus.
Well, oh, that would be a 14. 15
minus.
Not not a very intimidating bugbear.
No.
Alright. Let me see.
You know, I rolled a net too. So
he's like so he says,
look, you know me, poo.
I'm not down with the trade,
but there's nothing I can do about that.
And honestly, if the tribe goes down, where
are you going to turn?
This is where your family is.
You can't strive to fix a tribe
that doesn't exist anymore. I know. I know.
I just
I fell responsible
for him.
Christopher,
how much time do I have? We were
expecting within the next couple days to receive
the challenge.
I'll be there.
Alright. I'll go back and report. And he
just begins to march off.
I give him the traditional bugbear farewell.
Why don't you describe that to us, Josiah?
Well, it's it's kind of a,
you.
It would be a,
I stick out
one of my my hands,
and then I stick out
the other one of my hands, and then
I raise them both, and I bend over
to touch my toes, and then I come
back up.
He he he does the same motion to
you and then walks off.
Sorry you had to hear that, Hobart. I'm
sure.
It was rather
dull and boring.
Does he know where the slavers are?
I doubt it. He's one of the good
ones. You see,
before I left my tribe, I found out
that
there was
some people there doing some unsavory
stuff,
such as selling some of our own into
slavery.
Naturally,
I got rather angry
and dealt with him swiftly,
but they did give me a name of
someone
in
Waterdeep
who they had their contact. Atar.
White heart was his name, and I'm here
to find a friend of mine.
A small cub
who they sold
I Feel like it was my responsibility
to keep track of the poor little fellow
and you have no idea where to find
this other fellow
Atar
No.
I've heard rumors
that
one needs a large sum of money to
enter
the slave market,
and that is why I have been acquiring
And I jingle my coin
purse. A large sum of money.
But
I'm not very good with personal interactions.
I was hoping
I could find someone who might know where
this tall tunnel would be. Perhaps we would
have to try a more shady area.
It is getting rather warm out here.
Yes, sir.
I'm rather hot.
Alright. So by about this time, the wheeling
and dealing inside the store is done. Is
there anything else you guys in the store
wanted?
A potion of great healing and two potions
of healing. Now could I use my persuasion
to talk it down in price?
You can certainly try.
So I'm gonna click on persuasion.
Why don't you get a map with that
shows where the slave trade is?
So it was a nine.
And
Eeyore
rolled a 15. So he's like, well,
I can't do that. My commissions are based
off the sales, and if I take any
money off, you're taking money out of my
pocket.
Alright. Fair price then. You come walking out
with an armload of stuff.
I will join the others outside. Yeah. As
soon as I'm done with this, I join
them as well. We're going back underground to
the bed roll.
Callum,
good to see you again. It wouldn't be
long.
Who I've just seen walking through town.
Was it Christopher?
No. That would be wonderful, Luz.
It was Caius.
You remember him?
The Baldin bugbear?
Yeah. I've seen him. Shorter fellow. Yes. Yep.
Well,
he spoke to me
and has convinced me to return shortly to
the village.
And I feel like I did my job
very well then because I definitely did that
on my own.
Oh, you were a great help.
I don't know how I would have made
it out of,
Mary's
confinement
without your encouragement.
Or open indoors, you know. I did that.
You did indeed. You did indeed.
So are we going back now then?
Well,
I have one last thing. And,
you know,
how familiar are you with Waterdeep?
I
seen
it? You strike me as
a seedy
fellow.
Thank you. I appreciate that a lot.
Do you know anyone
who are much
aware dealing
in less
savory
items?
DM,
do I know?
Oh, do you know?
Do you know
the muffin man? Don't you?
Do you like the things that life is
showing people? So less savory than the soup
we ate this morning?
The soup? Same level.
Same level of savory.
That's not very savory at all.
Delicious.
Go ahead
and make
a history check, I guess.
Great. That was a flat 10.
You don't know of any any place spectacular.
I mean, you know that probably,
like,
particular place where you would find, quote,
the black market.
Do I know
what part of town would be
considered
seedier?
How long have you been in the area?
Well, I came here for poo. So about
I know. But I mean a day and
a half. In the in the general area,
though.
I would say
about a day and a half.
No. You're you you you just know a
couple generalities.
Yeah. I know exactly where they'd be. You're
like, Greg. I think Leave the way.
Alright.
I head south.
Alright.
Heading in a general southerly direction.
As as you're,
going that way, you know, you're just kinda
walking through town. You see the regular sites.
You see in I will,
keep a specific eye out
for
what looks to be markings on walls
or just people being sketchy. You know? Are
you looking for specific types of markings on
walls?
Do you speak thieves can't?
I do not speak thieves can't to the
point where I would understand it. No. Okay.
But what I would assume might be
questionable thing.
Alright. Go ahead and make an investigation thing.
Alright.
Go ahead and make an investigation check because
you are trying to find some stuff. Yes.
That's going to be a very good roll
of nine.
Yeah. You're just kind of wandering and you
see dark alleys and you're like, oh, maybe
there's some stuff down there.
Absolutely. I go down it.
Alright.
You find a bunch of garbage cans and
some alley cats and Callum,
do you know where we're going?
I'm gonna roll insight on whatever answer
he gives
me. I've got
a general idea.
Draw 17.
I rolled
a
16,
so no.
Alright. So she so Callum's like, I've I've
got an idea, and it sounds like he's
lying through his teeth.
Callum, I don't think you know.
Well, it's really it's really just the difference
between knowing and feeling, isn't it? What is
the difference between knowing and feeling?
You know, I don't like to be confined
by boxes.
I don't like to be confused by all
your
talk
lies.
Have we seen any peacekeepers around?
Yeah. Just kind of throughout as you've been
as Callum's been leading you throughout the city
to get you good and royally lost.
Yeah. Yeah. You've seen just general patrols walking
around.
To be fair, I won't get us lost
because
that is the only thing that my background
provides for me.
That I will know where we are
I just don't know where we're going.
Can I look to see if there's a
peacekeeper anywhere in this alley?
Uh-huh. Make a perception
check?
Yeah.
Nope.
Nope. Nope. Alright. That was a two. So
Neat.
I really think
that we should find someone who knows
where they are going because
I need to get back, and
I need
to find Christopher.
I'm all in a dither.
Now did you tell Callum
about what your interaction with Caius was?
No. Only only what I said to Callum.
All I know is that Calum or Caius
was here. That was it. And then he
convinced me to go back.
Mhmm.
Okay.
During this time, I'm gonna be, talking with
Gareth
And,
I and
okay.
If he's still on the line, you know?
Of course, I am.
I'm gonna ask him. Why are you here?
Why did you come to this place?
I came here to set up a mission.
So you know nothing of a great evil
being here?
Yes, but probably not the one you're looking
for, no.
I feel like that person
who left us the letter, that could be
part of it. And I think it may
be. I'm fine helping him find this cub.
But,
I feel like we have a target on
us.
And this man
who
destroyed that whole place
is looking for us
or has a problem with us. And I
would rather take the fight to him than
be sitting here looking around the city all
the time.
I feel we are of the same mind
on this. Yes.
I think staying together would be the wisest
thing.
Gollum?
Yes, who? I've just had a brow I've
just had a browsiant ideal.
Come with me. Alright. I walk out into
out of
the alleyway into the middle of the street.
I follow.
Alright.
And then I
try to punch you once I'm out in
the open.
I say, hold still. I'll get just a
peacekeeper here in no time.
I attempt to not be hit in the
face.
Oh, this is gonna be neat.
Alright.
Go ahead and Are you okay with me
trying to trying to hit you? Alright. Let's
I mean, you can try. Okay. We'll see
if you do it. Yeah. Alright. Go ahead
and roll an attack.
Would like to dodge.
And roll it at disadvantage
because he's dodging.
Fourteen fourteen to hit. At disadvantage?
Yeah. Okay. 14 hits still.
Go ahead and roll roll that down.
I
do like how you specify non lethal, but
you're not gonna take me down to my
Just to be on the safe side.
Well, that that didn't go very well anyway.
Just about seven. That would be
eight damage.
Callum will grab his face and stagger back.
What in the name of all the gods
are you doing?
He rocked you pretty good. You're a little
bit dazed.
To get
attention.
And you hear someone in the I hit
poo.
Oh, no. Yeah.
Bite. Bite. Bite.
Alright. Go ahead and,
roll to hit. Pooh.
Pooh. Pooh.
It It probably doesn't hit. That's a 15.
Oh, that does hit. I'm a 12 armor
class. I Oh, baby.
Go ahead and roll damage.
I don't get damage. It's just,
two. Two points of damage. Don't get damage.
Alright. You hear a voice My my unarmored
strike just does one plus my strength. You
eat.
Alright.
You hear a voice in the distance go,
the two of you, stop
you there.
And you see
a mustached
gentleman
running up to you pointing his finger at
it. Calum Calumules.
Come and make us.
Oh, good. Just who I was looking for.
And, you see him say something into this
he pulls something out of his pocket, talk
into it, and then
start stuffing that away.
He pulls out a, sword and says, you
need to come with me now.
Oh, good. Would you be taking us, to
the slave market perhaps?
That's what I'm looking for. Are you looking
to purchase slaves?
Oh no. I'm looking to disrupt
the market.
You need to come with me, sir. Don't
worry.
Gladly.
To be fair, I started the fight. But,
you know, take him. Great.
You too
as well as
Where are we going, might I ask? And
you see more
armored
people in a in a similar looking outfit,
coming up as well
with their swords drawn. Well, he said we're
not going to the slave market. So
that's rather bothersome.
The choir boys will follow from a distance.
Can you, tell us what we've done that,
you know, we have to come in with
you? Public fighting. Oh, is that, not allowed
now? Not allowed now. It's not allowed ever.
Oh, what are your thoughts about a private
fighting?
We're just, you know, family, family squabbles is
all He looks at you and he looks
at poo.
He's like, I don't think so.
Well, that's awful. Very close minded, Abby. Isn't
it? Oh, she's adopted.
He, but it's fine. He hasn't caught on
yet.
He just kinda pokes at you with his
sword trying to get you to get moving.
Well, I get moving.
Ouch.
And so he takes you into,
the
local constable area
and,
takes you to a cell and says get
in. The cell?
I have rights.
Right now, no, you don't.
Get in.
Well,
can I talk to someone
after I'm in? You can certainly try.
He's going to try to shove you into
the cell.
And
if you want to try to resist, you're
welcome to use a strength save.
Yeah. I'll go in. Callum walks in. Yeah.
Alright. He push he pushes you into the
cell and slams the cell door behind you
and walks off.
Hey, poo.
Yes, Callum.
Are you feeling okay?
Was this your plan?
Well,
it was my plan. It didn't go exactly
Alright. So I've got another follow-up question then.
Yes. Where'd you see this going?
Somewhere different, preferably.
Yeah. Mhmm.
You seem upset.
You know?
This is gonna go on my record, is
all. Alright. So
well they haven't they haven't done any of
the paperwork on you guys yet so.
Gareth and Orbog,
you follow the
town guard. You
follow the town guard to the constable area.
And,
you watch as they take them in and,
it's just kind of circling the building.
Go ahead and make a
perception
check, please.
10.
Less than 10.
Alright.
Yeah. That's not a good perception check. You're
all defying for people who aren't actually looking
at our screens. Alright. Orbog, you kind of
you can kind of tell that they got
put in a cell. You can see a
window
to in the side of the building where
you can see the head of
the top of the head of,
who?
Oh, yes. Yes. My head.
Can we throw a rock at
us?
Yeah. Go ahead
and
No.
We throw pies.
Kit, is this like a really small place?
Like, would we think that if we walk
inside,
then
we're gonna be able to be seen by
Poo and he's gonna yell out, oh, hey.
I know you guys are or
or we get would we be able to
talk to someone without
Pooh making a bigger scene? Taking a look
at this constabulary,
you can kind of put together that you've
seen a couple buildings like this throughout town.
There's not a central building that they take
people to. It's not a very big building.
Well, I I think my character will walk
in the front door.
Okay. I I think yeah.
Yeah. I'll go with him. You know, wear
the two goody two shoes with charisma.
Alright. So you guys walk into the front
door and you it's a very
officious setting. There's like a front counter and
there's like a the counter has one of
those parts that you kinda lift up to
walk through
sort of thing, but there's not a direct
door to the back to the back area.
You'd have to go through that,
that counter. Does it have, like, a a
receptionist for Munsters Incorporated?
Yeah.
Yeah. I can help you with that.
Can I yeah? I want I wanna walk
up to somebody
if there's something I can help you.
Yes. I have a couple questions.
We have who do we talk to about
a missing person that we're trying to find?
Who's this then?
I believe his name is Christopher,
and he is a bugbear cub.
We don't keep track of bugbears. They're not
people.
Okay.
Do
you well,
since the since the peacekeepers
won't do anything,
could we, as upstanding paladins,
go to
we have heard that there are rumors that
he might have been sold into slavery. Can
do you have any idea where that would
possibly be taking place that we could go
look for in there? To my understanding, did
you just walk into the Costa Bell, Harry,
and ask where you can find a slave
trade? We're
trying to find Christopher and
You were trying you just asked me where
you could find a slave trade. We'd like
to free him and we'd love to help
break it up if
you'd let us.
We are talented, sir.
I'm a lady.
I never have good results figuring out you
humans.
I
I I'm a dragonborn. What are you talking
about humans?
Oh, that explains it then.
So I'm gonna
I'm gonna tell Gareth to try and charm
her.
No.
Well, hey.
Show a show a little shoulder.
She's not helpful.
Man, you think she would be impressed by
us. We should do Can I use my
Dragonborn persuasion on her? You're gonna make this
weird between us, Steve. I can tell this
already.
Alright. Go ahead and roll a persuasion
check.
Rolled a 10. And I get bonuses because
we're both Dragonborn, right?
Right?
No. No.
What? No.
Intimidation
then.
She she looks at you. She she she's
just got a blank look on her face.
She's like, if you have a missing person,
you need to fill out a missing person's
form.
What what color
dragonborn is she?
She is
a black dragonborn.
Uh-huh. Got it. Never mind.
She doesn't consider them persons,
so filling out the form is pointless.
Yes.
Perhaps we should speak to her about our
friends.
I suppose.
I was enjoying the peace and quiet.
Well, yes. But safety sometimes lies in numbers.
At least we'd know where they are. Yes.
And we wouldn't have to track them down
again.
Poo and Callum, I'd like you guys to
make a perception check, please.
Oh. Oh, yes. I was hoping for a
buddy cop.
Oh.
A natural 20 on that.
All right. I need 12 of for me.
All right, Callum, you're too busy sulking and
being
brooding and moving. I'm enjoying enjoying the scenery.
But, Poo, you hear familiar voices coming from
the area where you came in at, and
you recognize them to be Orbog and Gareth.
Oh, Callum. Do you hear that?
It sounds like
the the tones of Orbog and Gareth.
Hello.
We can can we see them from where
we are or just hear them? You can
only hear them.
No. I don't hear a thing. Oh, well,
that's unfortunate.
I can hear them as clear as day.
Orbog,
Gareth,
hello.
Alright. In the front, I would like Orbog
and Gareth to make a perception check now,
please.
Six.
You guys don't, you guys don't hear
Pooh shouting from you. Join the silence.
I mean, I was ignoring it.
A column, I have an idea.
Is it like your last one? It's the
very same.
You want to hit me again?
I was thinking if I started a fight
with you,
then there would be
more guards who would come,
and then
we could talk to them.
What if what if we don't do that,
though? What if we didn't?
Well, I mean, we don't have to. I
just
all my ideas
tend to to start with punching someone.
And I you know, generally speaking,
onboard. I'm here for it all the time.
A plus,
as long as the person's not me.
Well, maybe we can have one of the
guards come by and we can punch him.
Maybe don't
do that either. That's probably not good.
What if we just don't do any of
those things and we wait?
Yes. But I didn't hear Orbach and Gareth.
I mean, I hear them but they didn't
hear me I don't think. They haven't responded.
Well what if we just both yell at
the same time
that sounds like a great idea
do you want to yell for Orbog or
Gere? What if we yell for them both
honestly I don't remember either of their names
half the time so
doesn't really matter
all right
Oh, boy. Hi. Hi.
Hi. Back here.
We've been incarcerated.
It sounds it sounds like Callum is singing
the beginning of TNT by ACDC.
Might be. Mark. What?
Might be.
Alright. So
Turn the mic.
Alright. So,
back to the front.
Make another perception
check, please, the two of you, Gareth and
Orbog.
17.
No.
Orbog, you're starting to kind of hear a
loud shouting from the back. You hear
aggressive shouts
that sound like Pooh and,
Callum.
They sound distressed.
I'm pretty alright, technically.
I still wanna walk away right now.
And, and the, dragon the black dragonborn at
the front counter is like, so do you
need something? Oh, you're just wasting my time.
We also have friends here who are helping
us. We're actually helping them
try to find
the person
who we believe is a person even though
Bugbears aren't persons.
You are charming, my dear.
My
my boyfriend says I'm lovely.
Your boyfriend He says I should try out
he says I should try out for Waterdeep's
Got Talent.
Yeah.
You should hear my singing voice.
Like I need I need some work in
the I need some work in the bathing
suit competition, though.
Can you can you sing us something right
now?
Love and you
is easy because you're beautiful.
I'm, I'm gonna be clapping a little. Try
to try to try to win her over
a little bit.
Hey, look at your music.
Thank you. Now is there something you need,
or do you need someone to show you
the way out?
I think we might want to bail our
friends out
if that's possible.
They're not really our friends. We're just trying
to do our good deed for the day.
What's their names?
Poo
and Callum.
I don't have a record of a Poo
and Callum here.
It's a bugbear and a human looking person.
So one person Oh. Oh. The new one
person. They got taken back.
They haven't done the paperwork on them yet.
They have to stand charge in front of
the, in front of the magistrate
because they're being charged with,
disorderly conduct.
Did they
stop?
Did they stop what?
Being disorderly.
I don't know.
Why are they here?
Because they got charged with disorderly conduct. They
have to sit in trial.
So let me get this straight. There's
a person and a non person
who are being disorderly.
From what I saw, they were fighting.
But
if the non person is a non person,
there was no fight.
No.
The non person just doesn't get rights.
Oh, I'm so sad you're already taken.
So if a person were fighting a dog,
would you take the dog into custody?
If the dog bit the person back, yes.
It'd probably be put down.
Will the bugbear be put down if he
is found guilty?
If he was hurting the person, then yes.
Oh, bother.
So you have no idea
where
the more
dangerous parts of town are that we could
possibly look for this missing friend.
No. You didn't ask for a dangerous part
of town. You wanna go to Hell's Half
Acre. That's where you wanna go.
And where would that be?
Be? Well, you wanna go to and she
gives you directions.
I'm not on map.
I don't have a an actual city map
of Waterdeep in front of me right now.
Sorry, guys.
Perhaps we should leave. And I'm gonna start
walking towards the door, hoping that Gareth is
going to follow my lead.
I will
slowly
follow
his lead. Okay. And I'll and I'll we'll
talk outside,
preferably not right in front of the doors.
As you're walking away, you hear her say
after you, have a quality day.
So we walk outside. Okay. And
do we want to bring them with us?
Is it going to be worth the trouble
of breaking them out? Or should we go
ahead and head to this place?
Of course we don't even know who we're
looking for. Right. I think it would be
best for us all to stay together.
Although,
this is making it very difficult.
And how will we even get there if
the authorities are after us? Correct.
I think we should
do whatever we can to
help
resolve the situation and then,
then take up
after that.
That.
Did you get anything at the store we
were at that could help get them out
of there
through that wind window or that wall? Well,
yes. But I don't think that's the best
course of action at this point.
You wanna hire a lawyer?
No, no, no, no, nothing like that.
No, no, no, I'd rather destroy the wall
than hire a lawyer.
Nothing against lawyers out there in the listening
audience.
Just, you know, it's that 99%
of lawyers give that 1%
of the good lawyers a bad name. Agreed.
I think we should,
sit down and put our heads together and
see what we can come up with to
do this
peaceably and without any other
altercation.
Callum,
what do you feel about
breaking out?
Do we think we have to?
I mean, we can. We can make that
happen relatively easily.
Well, I'm getting rather
tired of being in this cold, damp place.
Have we seen any guards walk past at
any point, like during rounds? No.
Actually, it seems like no one really pays
a whole lot of attention to
like, they're good at bringing people in apparently,
but they don't really
do much
other than
bring them in. I mean, you haven't seen
anybody walk by there
at all.
Doesn't seem like once they put you in
there, they don't seem to really give a
crap that you're there.
No. I mean, we could,
but here's here's the question.
We already might be haunted by a demon
lord of some kind that might also be
a goat.
Not sure.
Do we also want to get the entire
town guard against us? City guard.
Big network.
Well,
I promised
that I would be back to the village,
very soon. You see, the colonel,
will probably be challenged. Yeah.
He's gonna be challenged?
Oh, yes.
And as you know, I am
well, I suppose you know.
Do you know?
Did I know he was going to be
challenged?
No. No. No. That I
that I'm the champion of all the bugbears.
Yeah. Why do you think I'm here?
Well,
moral support?
No. I came to get you and bring
you back.
Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. I remember that. Alright.
Great. Yeah. Uh-huh.
So anyway,
they said
that it would be almost
in two days, and I don't
particularly
want to waste my two days
in the sale.
I'd rather find Christopher and then return. I
mean, it sounds like leave then.
I'm sorry that I got this predicament
to begin with. You know, I didn't really
care for this city anyway, so
seems fine.
Alright.
All in favor of having a goat
and
the entire police force of Waterdeep chasing us,
say aye.
Aye.
Aye. Alright. Now before we do this Aye.
Do you think you can break that
door? I do. I think I can break
that door. I just snuggled up. I have
to change it on this sort of thing.
Alright. So I'll make it real quiet.
You break the door, and then I'll make
sure we can get out of here without
anyone noticing us. Sound good? Well, I'm sure
he wouldn't get stuck in the window.
That would sound very good.
I'm gonna cast silence. Wink.
Oh, saucy.
Alright. So you cast silence?
Yes.
Alright.
So
Pooh, you watch this person you're sharing the
cell with wave their hands and
mutter some things that sound like gibberish to
you and then all of a sudden you
can't hear anything.
I motion to the door.
And I step up to the door and
I try
to take it off its hinges
and grab grab onto two of the bars
and just give it a solid yank. Okay.
Go ahead
and
make a strength check, please.
How angry do you feel right now, Pooh?
He can't hear you.
How angry does Pooh feel right now?
That's pretty good.
Not angry enough to rage.
So
let's see.
Just a strength check. Mhmm.
So that would be
because you're legitimately just trying to lift the
door up and off its hinges. Correct?
Yeah. I am. So would I just I'd
I'd roll,
I wouldn't add anything to it. Just your
strength modifier. Okay. Cool.
So,
21 then?
You
yank up real hard on the door, and
it starts to lift up on the hinges,
but the top of the door slams against
the ceiling.
K. Cause causing some of the ceiling to
crumble down and kinda, you know, get that
ceiling dust in your eyes, but it left
a big old ding in the ceiling.
But it's not it's not off its hook.
See it? Nope. Off the hook. Yep.
Well,
shoot. I'll, try to wiggle it around some
more if I can. Alright. Go ahead and
make another strength check, please.
Same.
Alright. It slams to the ceiling again. A
bigger chunk of the ceiling falls down and
hits
the floor, and, it kind of bounces that
that thing the,
door down again, but you notice that you
were able to get it up a little
bit higher this time after after it broke
that chunk of ceiling out.
Alright. One more time.
Alright.
22 this time.
Yeah.
So, Calum, you watched the bugbear just kinda
get a little bit ticked off at this
door and just rips it up and it
slams into the ceiling and embeds itself into
the ceiling for a brief moment when he
lets go and just kinda hang in by
the ceiling.
And then it falls down and clatters on
the floor, but it's really awkward to watch
because it is a very
silent, but it should be very loud.
Pu, I need you to make a
dexterity save at to dodge this door as
it falls down.
Gladly.
Oh, I'd probably make it,
21 again. Yep. Yep. Rolling good. So you
barely miss getting hit by this door as
it falls down, but it it does not
hit you at all. And there is a,
gaping hole in the cage now that you
can walk through.
Great. I, stick my head out and look
both ways down the the hallway, I assume.
Okay. I will wait just a moment before
I
for all the dust to settle.
Alright. You don't see anybody in the hallway.
I motion for Kellum that it's clear.
I hold up my finger. I drop silence.
And then I'm gonna cast pass without trace
on both of us.
Oh. That's a little sneaky spell.
So, Poo, you'll get plus 10 to any
stealth check.
Oh, boy.
So I'm assuming you guys are trying to
stealth out of here.
I'll lead the way.
And I give Poo a little wink. Yep.
That would be at 28 on my stealth
then.
Nice.
I already have plus five. So
And Callum?
Let me take a little peek at my
sheet and see what we're looking at.
Hold on.
That would
be 34.
Alright. So, you guys become you guys become
the knight.
You know, you just That's what I've always
wanted.
You you you guys you guys cease to
exist and actually begin to exist in another
D and D campaign. That's how stealthy you
are.
Dang.
So, yeah, you are walking around
the constable area. I just head for the
door.
Alright.
Swiftly
and quietly as we can.
Me too.
Okay.
You get to that front counter.
It seems that the front reception Dragonborn
is
just
singing
for some dumb reason
and kind of getting a little looks a
little moony eyed. Like, she just saw somebody
that she
would have been smitten by.
I was gonna say, are Gareth and Arbok
still at the front counter? They are not.
Okay. That's pretty catchy.
I'll motion to the front door for poo
and kind of like let's move this along
quickly kind of. You notice that there is
no door to get past the counter? You
actually have to lift that corner counter up
because it's Oh, no. I'll go over the
counter. I mean, like, the derogatory building.
Okay. I So we're gonna duke the hazard
slide. I'm gonna try to crawl underneath it
on my, like, hands and knees.
Oh my.
Oh, no. I can't I can't see how
this could go wrong. Oh no.
Still got a plus 10 to stealth though,
so Callum, I would like Callum, I would
like you to
well, stealth isn't gonna be where the problem's
at here. I would like you to make
a,
hazard over the top of that
counter. I'm pretty good at dexterity, so I'll
take that.
Oh,
that's a natural 19. So that'll be a
22.
Nice. Yeah. So you just slide across it
and then duck down on the other side
of the counter.
Not seen at all.
Poo, on the other hand,
I need you because you are going you're
taking the under route.
I'd like you to make a dexterity
check, please.
K. Because you are a big boy trying
to force yourself through a small place. I
have the under robot. I have problems
with perception. Was I holding the counter down
maybe to help?
12.
Alright. So you start to get under there
and about halfway through you get stuck.
This always happens to me. Callum Callum's made
it to the other side. Right? Did I
did I see
the secretary when they brought me in?
Or did we just get brought in and,
like, put in this up?
Well, I mean, as they were charging you
through the front door towards the back, yeah,
you saw them sitting there. But we didn't,
like, you know, make eye contact and have
a moment. No. Not really.
I am going to go to the front
door.
Mhmm. And I would like to open and
close the front door.
Okay. So as you do that, she looks
up at you and goes, oh, another person.
A
big deal on a mistake. Ma'am, you got
to help me. You gotta help me. It's
a problem. I need I don't gotta do
anything.
What do you need? Alright. That's fair. My
little brother's outside, and I'm pretty sure he's
dying, and I don't know what to do
because I'm useless.
Well, at least we agree on one thing.
Right. Most people do. What's your little brother's
name?
Is that really important to saving his life?
You know, he's bleeding to death and I
don't know what to do. So if you
could, you know,
happened poorly
for us.
Like
what?
Again, is is this the important information we
need?
I gotta know what I'm reporting out to
our local
constables to tell them to come and help
your brother. I mean he's he's right outside.
I can't leave the counter.
Oh, well that's really unfortunate for him. I'm
gonna kinda like step
the opposite way of where Pooh is so
that she's looking at me. You can tell
she's getting a little bit annoyed like you
took her out of it. You know that
look when someone takes you out of a
really nice daydream
for just minutiae?
Yes. My brother's life is minutiae.
To her.
She she's not a good person. I'm I'm
feel like that. You know? Neither am I.
So we agree.
It's just Oh, Calum. You know?
Calum, I'm stuck.
I'm
sorry.
He is like with one hand under the
edge of the counter just, like,
move. Go quick. Just go. He
how he's stuck in there? He's stuck. He
has one hand up,
and the other hand is lodged between his
body and the side of the counter.
So all he has on one side is
just his head and an arm and a
shoulder
and half of his body, like so he's,
like,
from the middle of his ribs,
he's he's the middle of his ribs up
is out from underneath the counter,
and and his arm is smashed. That's what
that that's why he stuck is his arm
is wedged in between him and the counter
space.
So how do I try to get it
out from there? That's your that sounds like
a you problem. Well, okay. But I'll try
to kind of roll over to my side
then to get unpinned.
Are you trying to still not be seen?
Of course.
K. I need you to make a
stealth check. I would say at disadvantage but
Callum is helping you.
So just make a straight stealth.
Plus 10. Plus 10, so that's a
a 21.
Okay.
And
now I need you to make a
strength save at disadvantage.
Okay.
Oh, well that's decent.
23 on that. I'm rolling pretty good tonight.
Alright, so
Poo plants his free arm
on the,
on the
side of the counter and just starts to
push. You hear something pop in his shoulder
that is wedged,
but he kinda launches himself out. Nah. He's
so quiet. There's no pop.
So silent. I'm saying that he hears his
shoulder pop. Like, he dislocated his shoulder in
this process.
But he is out, and you have your
you have the full attention of the Dragonborn
that she doesn't notice this large monster just
got pooped out from the counter.
That's a pooed out.
Scatological humor folks, it works with everybody.
I, Tell him it's just gonna continue shifting,
like, in a direction
Crawl. Away from the door. I still kind
of crawl hands and knees towards the door.
You have a dislocated shoulder poo. So
Well, I use what I I use one
arm to pull myself
across the floor then. The the one that
Speaking of which poo, I need you to
take
Yes.
Three points of bludgeoning damage in that process.
K. You know, ma'am, it's just that, you
know, we were roughhousing.
We were doing as, you know, brothers
do and things went real sideways.
So I don't know if you have, you
know, a towel
or some water.
I'll take a dirty towel even at this
point. Probably better than nothing. So Column.
Callum, I'm unstuck.
At that moment she looks over and sees
a bugbear
and then looks over and sees I also
look over.
And looks over and sees
a human esque person.
Hello.
Doesn't take That's my brother.
I guess he's injured.
What? I okay, Calum. I need you to
make a deception
check
at disadvantage, please. Okay.
That's not gonna be enough. Well, I rolled
a five and a six, so
yeah.
He he's adopted. I run.
You
you you as you turn, you see her
pulling something out of her pocket.
Time to go, too. You just hear her
say There's been a jailbreak. We need all
you available units to show up at the
Southeast East Constable Area
immediately. I repeat, there's been a jail break.
I grab Pooh by his torn red shirt.
It's located.
Uh-huh. Head for the door. K. I allow
you to help me and I get up
and walk up, run out the door with
you. I don't know why they don't live
with siblings.
You know, I wonder that myself. I think
we should make like a tree and leave.
Alright. So you guys burst out the door.
Orbog and like to sit and somewhat quietly
burst out the door.
Orbog and Gareth,
where are you in this? Did you guys
go back around the side of the building
to scout that window, or are you still
in the front? I think we were probably
talking near the corner,
kinda like on the front side, but to
this away from the front door.
Okay.
Then I need the two of you to
make a perception check, please. Perception
check.
Woah, I see a Matt 20. I hear
everything.
I got 19 too.
The, the secrets of the universe suddenly became
revealed to,
and Gareth. You both notice,
Callum and Poo burst from the front of
the building, and they're running like their, tail's
on fire. Well, Callum and Poo are have
burst from the building, and they're running like
your tails are on fire.
Alright. Thank you.
Do we dare to follow?
I dare say we do dare.
I know it's a poo bear.
I I I guess I'm gonna start jogging
after them.
We'll,
we'll follow-up at a safe pace at a
safe distance. Yeah. We don't necessarily wanna look
like the two people that just broke out
of jail.
Okay. And
you guys see them come out. You guys
start following after them.
Poo and
Gareth make perception checks.
Alrighty.
Good.
That's a solid 10.
Little occupied at the moment. 13.
You hears you hears the sounds of people
chasing after you.
I'm gonna head for the nearest alleyway or
back road.
Alright. I tell them there's someone after us.
Yeah. I think there's gonna be a lot
of them. Who?
A lot of who?
Everyone. Not a bad one. Lot of everyone.
Right.
Alright. So you take so
Gareth and,
Orvog, as you're chasing after
Poo and Callum, you watch them run into
an alleyway.
I'm gonna attempt to disappear here.
We follow.
Yeah. And I'm gonna be, asking Gareth if
he knows the name of that place that
she told us that we should head to,
like, if he I know because just because
he's been here for three days or whatever,
if he has any idea where it might
be. Callum, I would like you you and
because you guys said that you're gonna try
to disappear. I want you and Poo to
make
stealth checks,
and you your pass without a trace is
still currently active.
Oh, well, that is a natural 19, which
is gonna bring mine up to,
let's see.
300 and 12.
35.
So 32 for me. Or 32?
Yes. Alright.
So
Gareth and Orbog, as you turn down this
alley,
you don't see either of them. Like, they're
gone. That's right. Can I roll on history
to see if I can answer his question?
Well, do you remember? That's the question.
Was it
What what was the question exactly?
Do you know where Hell's Bells are?
Hell Hell's Half Acre? Hell's Half Acre.
Kate, you gave him the answer.
Someone in the party has to take notes.
Alright? Yeah. But you weren't there for that
conversation.
That,
there will be consequences.
Yeah. Can I roll for history to see
if I remember House Athic?
Halfway House.
She told you about it. Okay. So he
he has no idea where that is, like,
from She gave you guys directions.
Oh, did she? Yeah. That's right. She did.
So so did we so we saw them
go into this Alley.
Yeah.
But as you come around the corner, they're
not there. They're
disappeared in.
Can we call out to them?
I don't know. Can you? No. It's illegal.
Not at 11:00 in Florida. I can't.
Alright.
So Pooh and
Callum, you hear Orbog shout out for you
guys. I'm not sure. I cover Pooh's mouth.
So we're free. Gareth and I are free.
We can go do what we want now.
Oh. We're just
we're just
listen. We've got a lot of people after
us. It'd be best if we didn't yell.
What's that sounded like, Orbog?
Orbog is probably close to guards
because he's also yelling. You notice it's just
the two of them by themselves.
I grab
them. I say we just follow or that.
We can do that. Yep. Alright.
I grab one of them.
Whoever Which one are which one are you
grabbing? Who's in front? Yeah. I would be
in front. Alright. Well, then I grab try
to grab you.
Alright. So you Gareth, you feel a big
old hairy paw reach out and grab you
as you're walking through this alley.
I would,
attack.
Alright. We go straight to violence.
Go ahead and make go ahead and make
an attack roll. Do I have my battle
axe? Can I At disadvantage because you do
not see the target?
Right. Yeah. This is true. You would be
at disadvantage. I mean, I have my battle
axe, but I don't have it out. Would
I have the wherewithal to be able
to produce it quickly? That's a character that's
a character choice, sir. That's not a DM
choice.
Didn't we already try this plan?
Which plan? Fighting each other.
I don't know what's in each other yet.
I don't know
who's grabbing
me. Or I'll assume that it's, you know,
in a place where it would at least
take me
a half second to grab. So I will,
just lash out and just strike out with,
with my fists. Alright. Roll a d 20
and add your strength modifier.
Yikes. Nat 20. Oh. 24.
24. But also a disadvantage, so Oh, yeah.
And then do it again.
Another Nat 20.
Come to peace with it. This is happening.
Alright. Sorry, buddy.
Roll a d four
slash r d four. Slash r
d r r.
Another 20.
So we're multiplying that by two, so that's
a four. And I think it's you add
your strength modifier for unarmed attack. Correct?
Paladins do not get to roll a d4,
it's just one plus their strength. So it
would
be two plus their strength. So two plus
your strength modifier then. So six.
So you take six points of damage as
he turns around with his fist and
decks you.
Oh, shit.
Six little points of damage. Of course. And
then I would He's a tank.
Yeah. Exactly.
If I can, create some distance, I'll take
my, battle axe out. You only get one
reaction, so
Well, I know. You know? I don't I
don't I don't think we're going into,
Full combat. Initiative here. Just saying.
So you turn around, you hit him, and
then you notice that it's poo that you
punched.
It's me.
What are you doing, man?
I I hold up my finger for a
moment.
I'm hiding.
We've, gotten ourselves into a bit of a
situation, so we've asked if everyone would be
quiet
and move along
quickly. Why don't you lead?
Great.
I start going again, stealthily as possible. So,
whether or not they'll be able to continue
seeing us is a question. They're gonna hold
hands or anything? Or
Well, if everybody is everybody stealthing, or is
it just you?
Well, I'm being stealthy. I'd like to not
be detected.
I mean, I think that we're all trying
to be stealthy.
Alright. Everybody roll stealth and add 10 because
I know. It's the only one I it's
the only one I casted it. I thought
it I thought it was a area o
effect.
Nope. It is creatures I choose within 30
range within 30 feet. Oh, neato. Okay. So
just poo and
Only a 24 for me this time. Only
a 34
for me this time. And Steve got a
three. I got an 18. Was that at
disadvantage? That's your armor? Yeah. 17. No.
So, yeah. I'll it's a group check, so
everybody
does alright. You guys kinda hear Gareth going
clang clang clang, but you guys managed
to you guys managed to hush it up.
Poo, I'd almost suggest we leave them behind.
But they are rather noisy, aren't they? No.
They weren't raised with bugbears, so they don't
know better.
But they don't know the way
of the sneaky bugbear.
I don't know the way of the poo.
Alright. So
you guys are sneaking away. Let's go ahead
and call it there because mister Earls is
about to turn into a pumpkin.
Uh-huh. So am I. Oh,
sorry.
Not everybody is as fortunate as I to
get furloughed.
So with that being said, everybody out there
and listening wonderland,
hope you enjoyed tonight's podcast. It was a
lot more RP, little bit less dungeon crawl.
If you like what you heard and you've
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what you're enjoying, what's really working for you,
you know, stuff like that.
And, do we have an email for this
podcast yet? Any anybody?
No. I was gonna talk to you about
that. Oh,
presently, we do not have an email, but
we look forward to having one of those
in the future if you wanna get in
contact with us.
Alright. So without
any further ado, let's call it there. And
for everybody else at home listing, we hope
to catch you next time.
Bye bye.
Stay safe, everyone. See you later, I guess.
Ciao.
I guess I have to do my stay
safe, everyone.
Josiah, did you miss did you
fall off the podcast here?
I'm back.
So my my setting is kind of janky,
so every now and then the power on
my mic will go off. So
then I have to find a pen to
turn it back on. It's it's weird. Anyway
Quick, side note. Is someone cooking in the
background of someone's home? It's probably here. It's
raining. That's the pub. Oh. I was like,
I keep hearing dishes. There's some dishes being
washed here. I'm trying to mute when I'm
not on. Oh, okay. I was like, it
it only pops up every so often, but
It's the ambient sound.
I see. I see. It's the sound of
an inn at three in the morning. We've
got rain and dishes being done. Yeah. They're
washing the dishes. In the rain. I apologize
for calling them out for doing their job.
Public shaming.
Alright.
Jerry?