1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,199 Boxing Day today. It's Boxing Day? I think 2 00:00:03,199 --> 00:00:05,200 it is. My boxing gloves. Yeah. I don't 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,799 have any boxes with me. Because I wear 4 00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:08,720 the boxing gloves to to built to to 5 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,639 wrap up the presents. Why why is it 6 00:00:10,639 --> 00:00:12,015 called Boxing Day? 7 00:00:12,414 --> 00:00:13,235 I don't know. 8 00:00:13,935 --> 00:00:16,255 What I feel so much. I've had so 9 00:00:16,255 --> 00:00:18,515 many different I don't think there's a definitive 10 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,454 version of No. There's no definitive and I've 11 00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:22,894 asked my British friends, and I get all 12 00:00:22,894 --> 00:00:25,140 different different answers as well. Yeah. But no 13 00:00:25,140 --> 00:00:26,119 surprise there. 14 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:27,940 If you knew them the way I knew 15 00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:28,440 them. 16 00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:31,460 Your your particular friends or the Brits as 17 00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:33,780 a whole? No. My particular friends. I see. 18 00:00:33,780 --> 00:00:36,600 Okay. That's that's good. We just unalienated 19 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,865 an entire island. One one explanation is that 20 00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:41,565 it had to do back in the Victorian 21 00:00:41,704 --> 00:00:43,465 days. If you were of the of the 22 00:00:43,465 --> 00:00:46,745 wealthy class, you would give boxes of gifts 23 00:00:46,745 --> 00:00:47,804 the day after 24 00:00:48,185 --> 00:00:48,685 Christmas 25 00:00:49,079 --> 00:00:51,640 to these house servants. That is what I'm 26 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,640 reading here on on Britannica. Yeah. On second, 27 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,799 we have Britannica. But then I also heard 28 00:00:55,799 --> 00:00:57,960 that it was the day that things got 29 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,939 boxed up 30 00:00:59,399 --> 00:01:01,960 after the Christmas celebration day. Oh, okay. And 31 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:03,100 celebrations. Uh-huh. 32 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,564 So I'm not sure exactly, but but if 33 00:01:06,564 --> 00:01:08,084 you get enough meanings for whatever the 34 00:01:09,525 --> 00:01:11,465 even even if if they're not correct, 35 00:01:11,844 --> 00:01:13,545 we call it Boxing Day. Well, 36 00:01:14,165 --> 00:01:15,385 enjoy, I guess. 37 00:01:15,765 --> 00:01:18,189 Is it is it a joyful thing? Then 38 00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:20,349 there are those 5 people who simply wake 39 00:01:20,349 --> 00:01:22,590 up that day and say, let's go out 40 00:01:22,590 --> 00:01:24,509 and just have a boxing match. Yeah. Yes. 41 00:01:24,509 --> 00:01:25,950 You should wear the boxing gloves coming from. 42 00:01:25,950 --> 00:01:27,810 There you go. That's what I do. Good. 43 00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:30,290 Every year on December 26th. 44 00:01:31,045 --> 00:01:33,685 Excellent. Yes. It's a, but there's also other 45 00:01:33,685 --> 00:01:35,364 celebrations going on around this time of the 46 00:01:35,364 --> 00:01:37,564 year. It is a laboratory time of year. 47 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:38,984 It is holiday rich 48 00:01:39,284 --> 00:01:40,344 time. Yes. 49 00:01:40,644 --> 00:01:43,140 Mhmm. And longer and shorter ones that that 50 00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:45,620 take over several days and or basically an 51 00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:47,799 eve going into the actual holiday, 52 00:01:48,820 --> 00:01:52,260 of various around various different reasons. Whatever they 53 00:01:52,260 --> 00:01:54,040 whatever they are, whatever you're celebrating, 54 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,400 have a very healthy, happy, safe 55 00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:58,894 holiday. Yes. 56 00:01:59,274 --> 00:02:01,194 And And it's a it's a heavy travel 57 00:02:01,194 --> 00:02:03,594 time, right, with all the celebrating going on. 58 00:02:03,594 --> 00:02:05,435 Certainly. It can be. There is a lot 59 00:02:05,435 --> 00:02:07,594 of travel. Of course, everybody is traveling. Not 60 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,354 everybody, but a lot of people take their 61 00:02:09,354 --> 00:02:11,435 holidays at at this time. And holidays are 62 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:12,175 very culturally 63 00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:13,134 related. 64 00:02:14,159 --> 00:02:16,080 And right? Am I wrong with that? You're 65 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,759 giving me a look like I just fell 66 00:02:17,759 --> 00:02:20,819 from Mars or something. Culturally related. Culturally related. 67 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,479 What does that mean? Is that like their 68 00:02:22,479 --> 00:02:23,139 in laws? 69 00:02:23,439 --> 00:02:23,939 Wow. 70 00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:27,634 Wow. Holidays as in laws. Wow. It's 71 00:02:27,935 --> 00:02:29,935 like it's like they're coming at me from 72 00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:31,235 all sides. Yeah. 73 00:02:32,254 --> 00:02:34,174 But we think we understand what you mean. 74 00:02:34,174 --> 00:02:36,735 We think we we think we do, you 75 00:02:36,735 --> 00:02:37,875 blithering idiot. 76 00:02:40,479 --> 00:02:42,080 You mean to say that there is a 77 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,099 cultural piece to this. Well 78 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,819 Oh, is there? Well, why is this? 79 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:47,780 Oops. 80 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:49,939 Your culture show. 81 00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,125 Well, I'm already ticked off at both of 82 00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:01,465 you here. I'm sorry. So I'm sorry. No. 83 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,344 I apologize. 84 00:03:02,885 --> 00:03:04,724 No. I you don't need to apologize. Oh, 85 00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:06,324 okay. Then I take it back. Well, good. 86 00:03:06,324 --> 00:03:08,325 Because it's not sincere. And we're listening 87 00:03:08,885 --> 00:03:11,379 for family celebrating. We're listening now to Tom 88 00:03:11,379 --> 00:03:11,879 Peterson, 89 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:15,620 my co host, and And Torin, our producer 90 00:03:15,859 --> 00:03:17,859 I guess. Just go off on their own. 91 00:03:17,859 --> 00:03:19,539 I'll be back in about 5 minutes. Okay. 92 00:03:19,539 --> 00:03:21,620 Alright. You guys have a break. Dean Foster 93 00:03:21,620 --> 00:03:23,139 who's supposed to know what the heck we're 94 00:03:23,139 --> 00:03:23,959 talking about. 95 00:03:29,115 --> 00:03:31,194 But we we've decided, no. Don't need him 96 00:03:31,194 --> 00:03:33,615 anymore. Nope. Okay. We're fine. 97 00:03:34,074 --> 00:03:35,715 No. No. We need him and watch him. 98 00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,455 Of course, we need him. He's the lifeblood 99 00:03:37,514 --> 00:03:38,895 of this entire podcast 100 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:41,180 for us. Buying this? I I No. Just 101 00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,860 keep saying what you're saying. I think you 102 00:03:42,860 --> 00:03:44,860 have raised an important issue, which we should 103 00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:46,379 take a look at now. Oh, okay. Thank 104 00:03:46,379 --> 00:03:48,699 you for for raising this. Yes. Certainly. People 105 00:03:48,699 --> 00:03:51,740 are traveling. Certainly. They're crossing cultures. Yes. There 106 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:54,405 you go. And one of their their key 107 00:03:54,405 --> 00:03:56,724 concerns, at least I've I've heard some from 108 00:03:56,724 --> 00:03:58,645 some people. Yeah. And and and it's been 109 00:03:58,645 --> 00:04:00,805 a concern that's been brought to me by 110 00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:02,025 a lot of folks Okay. 111 00:04:02,724 --> 00:04:04,564 Is they don't want to be perceived as 112 00:04:04,564 --> 00:04:05,064 the, 113 00:04:05,525 --> 00:04:07,469 in this case, for many of them, the 114 00:04:07,550 --> 00:04:10,610 quote, unquote ugly American Yes. When they're abroad. 115 00:04:10,669 --> 00:04:13,330 Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Because they're at least recognizing 116 00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:16,829 that their behavior may be seen in ways 117 00:04:16,829 --> 00:04:17,810 that is not, 118 00:04:18,589 --> 00:04:20,910 appropriate in the place that they are going 119 00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:23,455 to. Right. I I worry about that. Yeah. 120 00:04:23,455 --> 00:04:25,375 And that it is so that it is 121 00:04:25,375 --> 00:04:27,074 going to be negatively 122 00:04:27,535 --> 00:04:30,574 impact those around them in whatever culture they've 123 00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:31,875 gone into. Right. Right. 124 00:04:32,254 --> 00:04:34,254 It's not not that it's just being kind 125 00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:36,810 of casually observed, but that it's it's actually 126 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,810 something that is not going to be received 127 00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:39,930 well at all. Well, it's due to a 128 00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:41,769 level of ignorance you're bringing in your own 129 00:04:41,769 --> 00:04:43,689 cultural mores and not wanting to And kind 130 00:04:43,689 --> 00:04:46,649 of implying them upon Right. That culture. Right. 131 00:04:46,649 --> 00:04:50,285 Exactly. Exactly. In in expectation that yours, it's 132 00:04:50,285 --> 00:04:52,764 the it the idea being the American, the 133 00:04:52,764 --> 00:04:53,584 the kind of 134 00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:56,685 stereotypical thing would be the American going into, 135 00:04:56,685 --> 00:04:57,665 let's say, France 136 00:04:58,285 --> 00:05:00,764 and going in and and expecting everyone in 137 00:05:00,764 --> 00:05:02,910 France to speak English. Sure. Or any or 138 00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:04,830 any And if or any country. I'm just 139 00:05:04,830 --> 00:05:07,550 using an example. And and and and, like 140 00:05:07,629 --> 00:05:08,610 and then yelling 141 00:05:09,149 --> 00:05:12,589 at a louder voice speaking slower and louder 142 00:05:12,589 --> 00:05:14,910 in order to get them to understand, which, 143 00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:15,889 of course, is nonsense. 144 00:05:16,355 --> 00:05:19,074 Right. Right. That that would qualify very strongly 145 00:05:19,074 --> 00:05:20,995 as an ugly American at that point, but 146 00:05:20,995 --> 00:05:22,754 it's not just Americans who do this kind 147 00:05:22,754 --> 00:05:24,694 of thing. Yeah. I think I think anybody 148 00:05:24,915 --> 00:05:28,115 who goes to into a particular culture with 149 00:05:28,115 --> 00:05:29,160 an ignorance of 150 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:32,220 of what that culture is all about 151 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,720 can be perceived as, quote, unquote, ugly. If 152 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,879 you if you travel somewhere and you don't 153 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:40,600 understand the culture and don't know what the 154 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:44,895 expectations are about behavior Mhmm. You will inevitably 155 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,074 break some of those taboos, and you'll be 156 00:05:48,074 --> 00:05:50,955 perceived as, quote, unquote, ugly. I don't think 157 00:05:50,955 --> 00:05:53,035 Americans have a lock on this at all. 158 00:05:53,035 --> 00:05:54,714 Right. You know, I think Sure. I think 159 00:05:54,714 --> 00:05:55,694 throughout history, 160 00:05:56,154 --> 00:05:58,654 we've seen this issue of of 161 00:05:59,370 --> 00:05:59,870 either 162 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,270 through some form of tourism 163 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:06,750 or historically, actually, some other reasons for cultures 164 00:06:06,889 --> 00:06:07,629 to be 165 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,650 visited upon exploitation 166 00:06:10,090 --> 00:06:13,870 Right. Mainly Right. War and and invasion. Mhmm. 167 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,514 The other side is always seen as ugly 168 00:06:16,514 --> 00:06:18,754 because they don't understand the culture that they're 169 00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,915 now interacting with. Right. And and in some 170 00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:24,115 cases, don't care to understand. In many cases, 171 00:06:24,115 --> 00:06:26,035 don't care to. Yeah. I think the fact 172 00:06:26,035 --> 00:06:28,050 that there is a level of concern about 173 00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,649 this where people go, I don't want I 174 00:06:29,649 --> 00:06:32,209 don't wanna be perceived this way. What do 175 00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:34,849 I do to not be perceived this way? 176 00:06:34,849 --> 00:06:37,409 It's kind of an admission of awareness. It's 177 00:06:37,409 --> 00:06:39,169 a positive. And I I can I can 178 00:06:39,169 --> 00:06:40,849 see it as a positive thing? I think 179 00:06:40,849 --> 00:06:42,709 if you go in not even knowing that 180 00:06:42,814 --> 00:06:45,134 or not even caring Not caring. Yeah. Is 181 00:06:45,134 --> 00:06:48,014 even an issue, that maybe my behavior won't 182 00:06:48,014 --> 00:06:50,334 be received well. Not knowing is an initial 183 00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:52,094 thing. I think that not caring to make 184 00:06:52,094 --> 00:06:52,914 any adaptions 185 00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:53,875 adaptations 186 00:06:54,254 --> 00:06:55,170 so that you can 187 00:06:55,569 --> 00:06:57,810 adjust to whatever the other culture is. Whatever 188 00:06:57,810 --> 00:06:59,810 the reason for this story not to insult 189 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,650 people Right. Things like that. Respect. I I 190 00:07:01,650 --> 00:07:04,389 think whatever the reason for this sensitivity, and 191 00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:07,650 there is there is a good outcome to 192 00:07:07,650 --> 00:07:10,764 this. Because by raising awareness Mhmm. Then we 193 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,084 can come up with a solution. Sure. Right? 194 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,665 Yep. And and the solution simply stated is 195 00:07:15,964 --> 00:07:18,444 know before you go. Yes. And try to 196 00:07:18,444 --> 00:07:20,044 know as much as you can about the 197 00:07:20,044 --> 00:07:21,725 culture that you're going into so that there 198 00:07:21,725 --> 00:07:23,730 will be you'll be aware of the fact 199 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:26,050 that there may be certain behaviors that for 200 00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:27,110 you are fine 201 00:07:27,569 --> 00:07:29,810 that may not be seen that way in 202 00:07:29,810 --> 00:07:31,430 the place where you are. 203 00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:32,230 But 204 00:07:32,689 --> 00:07:35,009 but also and and and I and I 205 00:07:35,009 --> 00:07:37,485 wanna make this point because it's a cultural 206 00:07:37,705 --> 00:07:38,205 point. 207 00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:40,345 Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. Ring 208 00:07:40,345 --> 00:07:42,824 the bell. It's a cultural point. There we 209 00:07:42,824 --> 00:07:43,645 go. Okay. 210 00:07:44,824 --> 00:07:47,225 I think this expression culture bell. This is 211 00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:49,865 an expression of I don't wanna be seen 212 00:07:49,865 --> 00:07:52,685 as ugly. Therefore, what do I do? 213 00:07:53,839 --> 00:07:56,079 And the fact that it's an expression that's 214 00:07:56,079 --> 00:07:56,579 been 215 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,939 that it's been expressed by U. S. Americans 216 00:08:00,639 --> 00:08:01,139 mainly 217 00:08:02,639 --> 00:08:06,240 is an interesting cultural phenomenon. Okay. Yes. Okay. 218 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,459 Say more. Because 219 00:08:08,105 --> 00:08:08,605 Americans 220 00:08:09,145 --> 00:08:10,525 as a cultural phenomenon 221 00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:12,365 want to be liked. 222 00:08:14,824 --> 00:08:16,444 Now and this is not necessarily 223 00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:19,785 the case in other cultures. Gotcha. Okay. We 224 00:08:19,785 --> 00:08:21,625 have a high level of needing to be 225 00:08:21,625 --> 00:08:24,209 liked. Okay. And and there's a cultural reason 226 00:08:24,209 --> 00:08:26,230 for this. I'm not talking about the psychology. 227 00:08:26,290 --> 00:08:28,790 I'm talking about the cultural sociology of this. 228 00:08:29,649 --> 00:08:30,149 There 229 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,889 you know, one of one of the things 230 00:08:31,889 --> 00:08:33,350 we talk about when we talk about 231 00:08:33,809 --> 00:08:35,970 differences in cultures is that there's all cultures 232 00:08:35,970 --> 00:08:38,554 are fruity in some way, but some are 233 00:08:38,554 --> 00:08:41,434 coconuts and some are peaches. Mhmm. Mhmm. You 234 00:08:41,434 --> 00:08:42,095 know, and 235 00:08:42,554 --> 00:08:43,054 the 236 00:08:43,355 --> 00:08:44,735 the American is the peach 237 00:08:45,115 --> 00:08:46,415 where there is this 238 00:08:46,795 --> 00:08:47,934 assumption that 239 00:08:48,315 --> 00:08:51,090 even though we might be different, we're really 240 00:08:51,090 --> 00:08:52,929 all the same. So we make it real 241 00:08:52,929 --> 00:08:55,410 easy to build a relationship upfront when you 242 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,809 start with somebody. It's easy to bite into 243 00:08:57,809 --> 00:09:00,649 the peach. No. I mean, sweet. Gotcha. And 244 00:09:00,649 --> 00:09:02,629 and and and fuzzy and enticing. 245 00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:04,149 Yeah. Right. 246 00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,865 And only after you eat away at it 247 00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:08,065 a little bit do you get to the 248 00:09:08,065 --> 00:09:10,225 hard pit Yeah. Center. Yeah. And that's not 249 00:09:10,225 --> 00:09:12,464 so easy to crack. You're really not getting 250 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,404 to the very depths Right. Of the culture. 251 00:09:15,424 --> 00:09:17,184 A lot of cultures are just the opposite. 252 00:09:17,184 --> 00:09:18,659 They're the coconuts. Right. 253 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,879 It's hard right up front until you get 254 00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:23,440 till you plug away and put in the 255 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,759 time and make the effort, then you crack 256 00:09:25,759 --> 00:09:27,679 the shell. And then once you're in there, 257 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,919 it's soft and warm and and delicious and 258 00:09:29,919 --> 00:09:31,379 delicious. Right? Okay. 259 00:09:31,715 --> 00:09:34,054 And and so if you're a peach, 260 00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:35,554 what you want to do is give out 261 00:09:35,554 --> 00:09:36,295 the impression 262 00:09:36,754 --> 00:09:39,654 that you're a likable guy. You know, 263 00:09:40,115 --> 00:09:41,735 and how do you and likability 264 00:09:42,754 --> 00:09:44,695 is often premised on similarity 265 00:09:45,634 --> 00:09:46,080 that 266 00:09:46,799 --> 00:09:48,660 That we're really all the same 267 00:09:49,279 --> 00:09:51,700 unless you dig deep enough, then 268 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,779 you're gonna discover my differences. 269 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,639 The coconut says, We're not all the same, 270 00:09:56,639 --> 00:09:58,740 and here are my differences right up front. 271 00:09:59,184 --> 00:10:00,865 And you're gonna have to prove yourself to 272 00:10:00,865 --> 00:10:03,285 me before I'm gonna even give you any 273 00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:05,684 of the sweet stuff that's on the inside. 274 00:10:06,785 --> 00:10:08,165 This need for likability 275 00:10:08,545 --> 00:10:11,024 can be connected to the historical and cultural 276 00:10:11,024 --> 00:10:12,245 origins of the culture 277 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:13,445 in the US. 278 00:10:14,149 --> 00:10:15,509 And and and I'm not, 279 00:10:16,309 --> 00:10:18,389 disparaging this in any way. I think this 280 00:10:18,389 --> 00:10:20,470 is can be very charming, and we can 281 00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:23,370 use this cultural fact about us, 282 00:10:24,149 --> 00:10:27,554 us meaning US Americans, to to endear ourselves 283 00:10:27,615 --> 00:10:28,274 to others, 284 00:10:29,134 --> 00:10:31,934 particularly when we understand where we're coming from, 285 00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:34,034 when we when we look for likability, 286 00:10:34,894 --> 00:10:35,394 and 287 00:10:35,774 --> 00:10:37,214 and when we understand that we may be 288 00:10:37,214 --> 00:10:39,134 in a culture where this isn't as important 289 00:10:39,134 --> 00:10:39,714 to them. 290 00:10:40,495 --> 00:10:43,340 Mhmm. It's important to you. Right. Right. To 291 00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:43,840 me, 292 00:10:44,220 --> 00:10:46,480 but not to them. Right. Yes. 293 00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:49,100 And that's key. Right? I think that is 294 00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:51,100 key. Having that curiosity to know what's going 295 00:10:51,100 --> 00:10:52,240 on outside of yourself. 296 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:55,355 Outside of yourself. Right. So maybe it's there's 297 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,274 not such an innocent motive for it. But 298 00:10:57,274 --> 00:10:58,955 at the end of the day, it's good 299 00:10:58,955 --> 00:11:00,875 to know that US Americans feel this way 300 00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,955 and want a level of of More and 301 00:11:02,955 --> 00:11:05,835 more. They're tying we're tying into that feeling 302 00:11:05,835 --> 00:11:07,455 that you're talking about, that likability. 303 00:11:07,799 --> 00:11:10,459 I think, in in in the global, 304 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:11,580 aspect. 305 00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,220 And I think that's something that isn't necessarily 306 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,419 that's been there. 307 00:11:15,799 --> 00:11:17,720 And but also the the world is it's 308 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:20,279 a different place than it was almost x 309 00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,200 number of years ago. Yes. So much more 310 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:22,700 interconnected. 311 00:11:23,044 --> 00:11:26,105 Yes. And it's much easier to have contact 312 00:11:26,404 --> 00:11:27,625 with other cultures 313 00:11:28,164 --> 00:11:31,225 and other people Much easier. From without going 314 00:11:31,284 --> 00:11:31,784 anywhere. 315 00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:35,204 And and so you have that, and it's 316 00:11:35,204 --> 00:11:36,824 also easier to travel 317 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,379 for the most part. Mhmm. Okay? It's it's 318 00:11:39,379 --> 00:11:40,840 easier to travel around 319 00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:44,259 so that you are now getting things where 320 00:11:44,259 --> 00:11:45,940 your people are getting out there and seeing 321 00:11:45,940 --> 00:11:47,860 more of it. I think I don't know 322 00:11:47,860 --> 00:11:49,779 the numbers to this. We can probably find 323 00:11:49,779 --> 00:11:52,225 them. But I would guess that the percentage 324 00:11:52,225 --> 00:11:54,584 of people who travel outside of their their 325 00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:57,125 of our our home in the United States, 326 00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,565 the United States culture 327 00:11:59,024 --> 00:12:01,985 outside of that, across the borders into other 328 00:12:01,985 --> 00:12:02,485 countries, 329 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,519 is larger now than it's probably ever been. 330 00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:07,679 Yeah. I I I think that's tourism is 331 00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:09,920 the world's largest industry. I would imagine it 332 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:11,840 probably is. Yes. When you think of all 333 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,559 the ramifications of tourism. Right. All the aspects 334 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:16,495 of it. It. So and when you're and 335 00:12:16,495 --> 00:12:18,335 it's interesting in the sense that because we 336 00:12:18,335 --> 00:12:20,195 can communicate across oceans, 337 00:12:20,654 --> 00:12:21,715 across continents 338 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:23,695 in in a in a in a in 339 00:12:23,695 --> 00:12:26,014 a speed at the speed of light now, 340 00:12:26,014 --> 00:12:28,335 and we can do that without leaving our 341 00:12:28,335 --> 00:12:28,835 culture, 342 00:12:29,429 --> 00:12:32,230 it becomes a little different aspect than maybe 343 00:12:32,230 --> 00:12:35,450 the one of, okay, I've flown to China. 344 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,549 Therefore, it is as a as a citizen 345 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,629 of the United States from the from the 346 00:12:40,629 --> 00:12:42,730 US culture, it is my responsibility 347 00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:45,804 to understand the Chinese culture and maybe the 348 00:12:45,804 --> 00:12:48,284 regional Chinese culture because it will be different. 349 00:12:48,284 --> 00:12:50,125 It's a very large country in different areas 350 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:52,284 of the country. To understand that and try 351 00:12:52,284 --> 00:12:54,524 to be sensitive to it and and treat 352 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:57,024 it with respect. That already is a remarkable, 353 00:12:57,804 --> 00:12:59,804 advancement, I think. I think it is. Taking 354 00:12:59,804 --> 00:13:02,440 that step. Yes. Right? Now the the For 355 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,240 whatever the reason. If it's for likability or 356 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,480 for whatever the reason. Right. Well, sure. And 357 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,040 I think 358 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,040 you make a very, very strong point, I 359 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,700 believe, in the idea of of of 360 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,299 we want to feel 361 00:13:14,634 --> 00:13:17,034 good about ourselves. We want others, the people 362 00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:18,654 there, to feel good about us. 363 00:13:19,115 --> 00:13:21,914 And that is gonna be to likability. It's 364 00:13:21,914 --> 00:13:23,214 going to be self esteem. 365 00:13:23,834 --> 00:13:24,334 However, 366 00:13:24,794 --> 00:13:26,794 we can bring some people in who know 367 00:13:26,794 --> 00:13:28,414 more about that. But never regardless, 368 00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:31,220 it's something that is very important to us, 369 00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:33,240 I think, in the US quite often. Yeah. 370 00:13:33,299 --> 00:13:34,980 I think it is. And it's translating that 371 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:36,419 way more now than I think it ever 372 00:13:36,419 --> 00:13:38,279 has been. I I think there's there's also 373 00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:40,659 a darker motive to this, and and that 374 00:13:40,659 --> 00:13:42,355 motive is fear. 375 00:13:43,694 --> 00:13:46,334 Mhmm. Yeah. Sure. Now the question becomes, what 376 00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:48,735 are you afraid of? Mhmm. Mhmm. Alright. And 377 00:13:48,735 --> 00:13:50,975 and in the in the past, before there 378 00:13:50,975 --> 00:13:53,134 was, I think, this awareness of of the 379 00:13:53,134 --> 00:13:53,634 issue, 380 00:13:54,139 --> 00:13:55,580 which is now on the table, and we've 381 00:13:55,580 --> 00:13:56,639 been talking about it, 382 00:13:57,179 --> 00:13:59,340 in in the past, the fear was dealt 383 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:00,720 with by making 384 00:14:01,259 --> 00:14:02,320 this uncomfortable 385 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:03,200 feeling 386 00:14:03,899 --> 00:14:04,799 that I have 387 00:14:05,580 --> 00:14:08,704 the fault of the other. Oh, yeah. Right. 388 00:14:08,704 --> 00:14:10,384 So yeah. So if I can if I 389 00:14:10,704 --> 00:14:12,225 I'm I'm now in a place that I 390 00:14:12,225 --> 00:14:13,125 don't understand 391 00:14:13,664 --> 00:14:16,144 Right. Which is making me uncomfortable Mhmm. 392 00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,004 But it's not my fault. 393 00:14:18,464 --> 00:14:20,625 I'm not gonna I'm not going to take 394 00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:22,704 on the responsibility of of making it. So 395 00:14:22,704 --> 00:14:24,870 I'm gonna do what I want. I displace 396 00:14:24,929 --> 00:14:27,090 it on the people I am now in. 397 00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:28,789 So that that's the old colonial 398 00:14:29,169 --> 00:14:32,089 that results in the colonial Very much. Very 399 00:14:32,089 --> 00:14:33,730 much. Very much. Systems. Right? Very much. And 400 00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:36,389 it's often the result of encountering peoples 401 00:14:36,929 --> 00:14:39,625 basically because of war and exploitation. Right. Right. 402 00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:42,764 Right. And and justify trying to justify it, 403 00:14:42,985 --> 00:14:45,105 all the horrible things that that means Yeah. 404 00:14:45,304 --> 00:14:47,565 By saying, well, they're uncivilized. 405 00:14:48,264 --> 00:14:51,065 They deserve it. We're bringing a higher level 406 00:14:51,065 --> 00:14:52,574 of living to you. Exactly. Right. Right. Right. 407 00:14:52,824 --> 00:14:54,440 It happens to be. Yes. I'm I'm righteous. 408 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,379 You're pagan. Whatever. Right. So 409 00:14:56,759 --> 00:14:58,379 if you can displace your 410 00:14:59,079 --> 00:14:59,579 fear 411 00:15:00,679 --> 00:15:02,440 on them, you don't have to go any 412 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,199 further. And it and it and it justifies 413 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,779 get the efforts. It justifies your behavior. Absolutely. 414 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,440 Yeah. Yes. And then there's sort of the 415 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:09,794 opposing fear. Right. 416 00:15:10,095 --> 00:15:12,095 And and I think the the real fear, 417 00:15:12,095 --> 00:15:14,115 though, before it gets displaced 418 00:15:14,815 --> 00:15:17,315 is the fear that you have about 419 00:15:18,254 --> 00:15:19,475 being uncomfortable 420 00:15:20,575 --> 00:15:24,360 with something and with people who are different. 421 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:25,320 Mhmm. And 422 00:15:26,019 --> 00:15:27,959 if you own that fear and 423 00:15:28,980 --> 00:15:29,959 and and then 424 00:15:30,659 --> 00:15:32,100 unpack that Mhmm. 425 00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:34,591 And try to understand what's making me uncomfortable. 426 00:15:34,591 --> 00:15:35,011 What is it that I need to do? 427 00:15:35,011 --> 00:15:35,355 What is it that I need to know? 428 00:15:35,355 --> 00:15:35,855 What 429 00:15:37,195 --> 00:15:38,154 is it that I need to do? What 430 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,595 is it that I need to know? Now 431 00:15:39,595 --> 00:15:42,394 that's an inner journey that most people aren't 432 00:15:42,394 --> 00:15:43,774 willing to take. Mhmm. 433 00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:45,774 Because because it means, 434 00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:48,414 at the end of the day, admitting that 435 00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:49,529 I don't know 436 00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:52,629 what I should know in order to be 437 00:15:52,629 --> 00:15:54,090 in this place. Mhmm. 438 00:15:54,549 --> 00:15:58,070 And that's taking responsibility for it. Right. Right? 439 00:15:58,070 --> 00:16:00,169 And most people don't wanna do that. No. 440 00:16:00,549 --> 00:16:03,144 They don't. I'd rather I'd rather shift it 441 00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:06,125 off onto the other person. Even within cultures, 442 00:16:06,345 --> 00:16:07,964 there's an aspect of that, 443 00:16:08,345 --> 00:16:10,424 because of of the the differences within that. 444 00:16:10,424 --> 00:16:11,945 So when you get into something where there's 445 00:16:11,945 --> 00:16:13,884 a significant difference in cultures 446 00:16:14,409 --> 00:16:16,590 You mean, like, within a particular country? Yeah. 447 00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:18,490 Uh-huh. I think I I I think if 448 00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:20,330 we really look at I mean, the United 449 00:16:20,330 --> 00:16:21,710 States is a large country. 450 00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:24,090 China is a very large country, Russia, so 451 00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:25,309 on and so forth, Brazil. 452 00:16:25,690 --> 00:16:28,029 These are very massive areas, 453 00:16:28,365 --> 00:16:30,705 But you get down to Geographically large. Exactly. 454 00:16:30,764 --> 00:16:32,705 Right. But you get down to even smaller 455 00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:34,465 geographically smaller countries 456 00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:36,445 where you would think there's not that many 457 00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:38,845 differences. There's still differences there. Right. And so 458 00:16:38,924 --> 00:16:40,524 but you so if those things are going 459 00:16:40,524 --> 00:16:42,205 to impact you, at some point, they're going 460 00:16:42,284 --> 00:16:45,190 and and it's much less likely that you're 461 00:16:45,190 --> 00:16:46,170 going to recognize 462 00:16:46,710 --> 00:16:47,690 what you're doing 463 00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:50,410 to within that particular country, 464 00:16:51,269 --> 00:16:52,570 or that particular region, 465 00:16:52,950 --> 00:16:56,570 that you are creating a problem for yourself 466 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,125 quite often. I mean, if you're we're talking 467 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:00,985 we've talked business. We're talking 468 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:04,424 travel for holidays, travel for vacation. 469 00:17:04,804 --> 00:17:06,105 But travel for business, 470 00:17:06,884 --> 00:17:09,924 this it's vital. And if you're coming around 471 00:17:09,924 --> 00:17:11,549 and if you're paying attention to this 472 00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:14,350 podcast, there's a good chance you've come around 473 00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:16,350 to more the way of thinking that you're 474 00:17:16,350 --> 00:17:18,269 talking about. That you that you want to 475 00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:20,750 be part of of that culture in the 476 00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:22,350 sense you wanna recognize it, and you don't 477 00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:24,430 wanna insult it. You want to be aware 478 00:17:24,430 --> 00:17:25,250 of the differences 479 00:17:25,549 --> 00:17:27,305 and so on. But and and I think 480 00:17:27,305 --> 00:17:29,464 that actually happens. Are you aware that there's 481 00:17:29,464 --> 00:17:32,025 differences between this portion of the country and 482 00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:33,865 that portion of the country? Right. You're it's 483 00:17:33,865 --> 00:17:36,105 really important talking about a very important issue, 484 00:17:36,105 --> 00:17:37,704 Tom, which I think is, you know, gonna 485 00:17:37,704 --> 00:17:39,630 come up time and time again no matter 486 00:17:39,789 --> 00:17:42,190 how we look at these issues that we 487 00:17:42,190 --> 00:17:43,490 explore in this podcast, 488 00:17:43,869 --> 00:17:47,250 which is the differences in cultures within 489 00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:48,049 the 490 00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:51,549 boundaries of that geography. Yes. And and the 491 00:17:51,549 --> 00:17:53,894 the phenomenon, really fascinating thing is that 492 00:17:54,535 --> 00:17:55,755 every single culture 493 00:17:56,214 --> 00:17:57,755 has these intracultural 494 00:17:58,295 --> 00:17:59,515 differences. Sure. 495 00:17:59,815 --> 00:18:02,375 Big ones. Geographically, it's easier to see in 496 00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:04,855 a big, big geography. Sure. But even little 497 00:18:04,855 --> 00:18:05,355 ones. 498 00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:06,955 I mean, North 499 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:09,519 Northern Britain and Southern. I was about to 500 00:18:09,519 --> 00:18:11,599 say we've got North Italy and South. North 501 00:18:11,599 --> 00:18:14,799 Italy. Definitely. The North South divide is all 502 00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:16,799 around the world. Everywhere. By the way, if 503 00:18:16,799 --> 00:18:17,839 you if you don't know or you don't 504 00:18:17,839 --> 00:18:19,279 remember, we've talked about it in a couple 505 00:18:19,279 --> 00:18:20,835 of podcasts, so go back and listen to 506 00:18:20,835 --> 00:18:22,674 those. And and in some countries, it's the 507 00:18:22,674 --> 00:18:24,755 east and west divide, which is more Sure. 508 00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,674 Or maybe all all 4. Or all 4. 509 00:18:26,674 --> 00:18:28,355 Yes. Or 3. And then there's 2. And 510 00:18:28,355 --> 00:18:30,434 then you dig deeper, and then there's everywhere, 511 00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:32,940 there's an urban and rural difference. Right. Right. 512 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:34,539 And there are differences between 513 00:18:34,859 --> 00:18:35,919 Everywhere. Generations 514 00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,839 over 40 and under 30. 515 00:18:38,539 --> 00:18:40,140 And, you know, the list goes you can 516 00:18:40,140 --> 00:18:42,640 slice and dice any one culture 517 00:18:43,419 --> 00:18:45,339 in lots of different ways. Don't need, and 518 00:18:45,339 --> 00:18:46,779 I think this is a point I've heard 519 00:18:46,779 --> 00:18:48,644 you make in the past, But this is 520 00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:51,605 you don't need to be bound up 521 00:18:51,984 --> 00:18:54,144 by concerns. And again, I think people listening 522 00:18:54,144 --> 00:18:56,224 to a podcast like this would be more 523 00:18:56,224 --> 00:18:58,484 apt to want to be able to understand 524 00:18:58,545 --> 00:19:00,464 other cultures. Well, so I think this is 525 00:19:00,464 --> 00:19:02,490 really important. That's that's the question I wanna 526 00:19:02,490 --> 00:19:04,520 get to is whether you're traveling, you know, 527 00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,551 from the south to north, north to south 528 00:19:06,551 --> 00:19:08,582 of a country or traveling to a different 529 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,867 country, and you have that and I do 530 00:19:10,867 --> 00:19:13,152 think many people have that what I would 531 00:19:13,406 --> 00:19:15,437 what I think of is a very healthy 532 00:19:15,437 --> 00:19:17,544 fear of, wanna make sure I'm traveling to 533 00:19:17,544 --> 00:19:18,764 this place of being respectful, 534 00:19:19,464 --> 00:19:21,224 and really being able to build connections with 535 00:19:21,224 --> 00:19:23,144 others, which I might cut up completely if 536 00:19:23,144 --> 00:19:24,664 I say something or do something that's gonna 537 00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:26,284 be considered really gauche and unacceptable. 538 00:19:27,304 --> 00:19:28,859 So that you mentioned in terms of tips, 539 00:19:28,940 --> 00:19:30,779 Dean, know before you go. Right? So do 540 00:19:30,779 --> 00:19:32,140 your research as much as you can. As 541 00:19:32,140 --> 00:19:34,380 much as you can. But, obviously, there's elements 542 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:37,099 you're just even reading books or looking online, 543 00:19:37,099 --> 00:19:38,539 you're just not gonna know about until you're 544 00:19:38,539 --> 00:19:39,980 in in a certain place. Right? So to 545 00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:41,259 that, like But pause to that for a 546 00:19:41,259 --> 00:19:43,179 second. The good news in this is that 547 00:19:43,179 --> 00:19:44,914 there's tons of information out there. There's a 548 00:19:44,914 --> 00:19:45,815 lot out there. Right. Yep. 549 00:19:46,595 --> 00:19:48,355 Yep. Yes. So for things that come up 550 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,174 in the moment, 551 00:19:49,634 --> 00:19:51,154 what are your what are your thoughts? What 552 00:19:51,154 --> 00:19:53,394 are your insights on, okay, I just learned 553 00:19:53,394 --> 00:19:55,474 that this is something I should be respecting 554 00:19:55,474 --> 00:19:57,634 or doing that I didn't realize before. How 555 00:19:57,634 --> 00:19:59,869 to how to make that adjustment? Right? So 556 00:19:59,869 --> 00:20:02,109 you can avoid being the ugly fill in 557 00:20:02,109 --> 00:20:03,710 the count fill in the country of choice. 558 00:20:03,710 --> 00:20:05,990 Yeah. I mean, deal with your discomfort Mhmm. 559 00:20:06,109 --> 00:20:07,809 And and admit it. 560 00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:09,470 First, you know, the way you deal with 561 00:20:09,470 --> 00:20:11,149 the problem is admit it first. You gotta 562 00:20:11,149 --> 00:20:12,909 admit, I got a problem. Mhmm. Then you 563 00:20:12,909 --> 00:20:14,744 can take the 12 steps. Right. 564 00:20:15,125 --> 00:20:16,565 But the first step is I got a 565 00:20:16,565 --> 00:20:18,724 problem. Yeah. Yeah. And it's yours, and you 566 00:20:18,724 --> 00:20:20,664 gotta own it. So 567 00:20:20,964 --> 00:20:23,845 I mean, something as simple as just saying 568 00:20:23,845 --> 00:20:26,105 to the person across the table who, 569 00:20:26,804 --> 00:20:28,859 you know, that you're talking with, 570 00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:30,640 Hey, 571 00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:32,480 what just happened? 572 00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:35,599 Help me unpack this because 573 00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,380 and you can do this in a humble 574 00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:40,319 way where you you are already 575 00:20:40,619 --> 00:20:41,759 gathering forgiveness 576 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:44,140 by putting it right out there and saying, 577 00:20:44,140 --> 00:20:47,105 you know, I'm not from your country, 578 00:20:47,485 --> 00:20:50,205 so I really don't know very much. There's 579 00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:52,525 nothing wrong with that. That's absolute truth, you 580 00:20:52,525 --> 00:20:53,505 know? And 581 00:20:53,805 --> 00:20:55,505 and and what the other person is saying 582 00:20:56,045 --> 00:20:58,045 in their head when they hear you say 583 00:20:58,045 --> 00:20:59,150 that, they're 584 00:20:59,609 --> 00:21:01,609 saying, that's right because I don't know much 585 00:21:01,609 --> 00:21:03,529 about your country either. Yeah. And now you're 586 00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:06,410 building that connection. Right. Yep. Right. Yep. And 587 00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:08,490 so just get that out there and say, 588 00:21:08,490 --> 00:21:10,970 you know, what just happened? Because just explain 589 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,490 to me. I don't know how things work 590 00:21:12,490 --> 00:21:15,505 here. Right. You know? And then explain your 591 00:21:16,384 --> 00:21:18,465 what it is that's making you feel funny. 592 00:21:18,465 --> 00:21:21,125 Did did that have a certain meaning that 593 00:21:22,305 --> 00:21:23,904 I heard it this way, but how did 594 00:21:23,904 --> 00:21:25,745 you hear it? You know? And that makes 595 00:21:25,745 --> 00:21:27,105 a lot of sense because I think the 596 00:21:27,105 --> 00:21:28,319 less communication is 597 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,899 happening, the more assumptions, presumptions, 598 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,599 everything. Absolutely. Right. Yes. So let's just be 599 00:21:33,599 --> 00:21:35,139 open to say, I you know, I'm 600 00:21:35,839 --> 00:21:37,519 not here. Please walk me. You know, I 601 00:21:37,519 --> 00:21:39,119 wanna I wanna learn about the culture, and 602 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,679 that's gonna be, I think, probably, you know, 603 00:21:41,679 --> 00:21:43,785 99 out of a 100 times taken with 604 00:21:44,025 --> 00:21:45,785 gratitude. Yeah. I mean, did I just make 605 00:21:45,785 --> 00:21:48,205 a mistake? I just said something and everybody's 606 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,265 laughing. Yeah. Yeah. And are they laughing at 607 00:21:50,265 --> 00:21:50,765 me? 608 00:21:51,224 --> 00:21:52,904 Did I just say something fun? You know, 609 00:21:52,904 --> 00:21:53,965 like, what is it? 610 00:21:54,585 --> 00:21:56,505 I that's happened to me. I mean, faux 611 00:21:56,505 --> 00:21:58,289 pas are built around. Right. Which we've talked 612 00:21:58,690 --> 00:21:59,970 about. Right? Right. Exactly. And everybody So, like, 613 00:21:59,970 --> 00:22:00,470 your, 614 00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:03,490 pena is is the story right now? In 615 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:03,990 Europe, 616 00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:05,970 yes, I think it I think that's what 617 00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:06,869 I called him. 618 00:22:07,809 --> 00:22:09,330 And it turned out I called him Mr. 619 00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:11,350 Penis in front of 500 people. 620 00:22:12,505 --> 00:22:14,585 And I said, of course, I didn't know. 621 00:22:14,585 --> 00:22:15,565 Right. Yep. 622 00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:19,464 Right. But but you were very open about 623 00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:20,634 it. And and not of and I think 624 00:22:20,904 --> 00:22:22,424 to be. Yeah. And there's a very real 625 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,424 that because what we're talking you talked about 626 00:22:24,424 --> 00:22:26,444 fear. The fear of making a mistake 627 00:22:26,890 --> 00:22:29,210 can be as harmful to this Mhmm. As 628 00:22:29,210 --> 00:22:32,170 the fear, or the the fear of not 629 00:22:32,170 --> 00:22:32,990 letting on 630 00:22:33,369 --> 00:22:35,390 or in feeling like you just have to 631 00:22:36,569 --> 00:22:39,369 apply your knowledge in your way, and it's 632 00:22:39,369 --> 00:22:41,549 up to them to figure it out. Right. 633 00:22:42,714 --> 00:22:44,815 If you don't wanna feel that fear, the 634 00:22:45,115 --> 00:22:47,034 the logical step is to to shut that 635 00:22:47,034 --> 00:22:49,194 down and make it everybody else's way. Right. 636 00:22:49,194 --> 00:22:51,034 Yeah. And it's and and it and the 637 00:22:51,034 --> 00:22:53,194 thing is too, and I I don't think 638 00:22:53,355 --> 00:22:54,494 I think this is correct, 639 00:22:55,115 --> 00:22:55,650 but it's 640 00:22:56,289 --> 00:22:58,690 you're not going to regardless of what country 641 00:22:58,690 --> 00:23:00,769 you're in or what culture you're in, you 642 00:23:00,769 --> 00:23:03,250 are not going to always find someone, although 643 00:23:03,250 --> 00:23:04,930 I think you're much more likely to with 644 00:23:04,930 --> 00:23:07,190 the lines of communication like we're talking about, 645 00:23:07,330 --> 00:23:09,970 asking for assistance, asking for help, a certain 646 00:23:09,970 --> 00:23:12,664 humility on your part about all of this 647 00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,764 and keeping it open, you won't always get 648 00:23:15,764 --> 00:23:18,105 the communication back from the other person. 649 00:23:18,644 --> 00:23:20,884 That is going because people are individuals. We're 650 00:23:20,884 --> 00:23:23,044 all humans. And so we're all so it's 651 00:23:23,044 --> 00:23:24,884 gonna be people who are gonna difficulty from 652 00:23:24,884 --> 00:23:27,519 the other side as well. It's not they're 653 00:23:27,519 --> 00:23:29,299 all not just gonna open their arms, 654 00:23:29,759 --> 00:23:31,839 but they're all going to have a sense 655 00:23:31,839 --> 00:23:34,266 of you trying. Mhmm. Right. Yeah. And I 656 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:34,900 And that's 657 00:23:35,279 --> 00:23:37,039 going to end up being positive. It may 658 00:23:37,039 --> 00:23:39,285 not be to the level that you are 659 00:23:39,285 --> 00:23:41,545 anticipating, expecting, hoping for, 660 00:23:41,845 --> 00:23:44,424 but it it can still be effective 661 00:23:45,045 --> 00:23:47,365 even if you don't get, you know, the 662 00:23:47,924 --> 00:23:49,845 a giant hug, first of all. Hugs may 663 00:23:49,845 --> 00:23:51,919 not be something that's in that color. It 664 00:23:51,919 --> 00:23:53,359 may not be the way you expect it. 665 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:54,720 Because you may be the outer shell of 666 00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:56,799 the coconut at that point. To your to 667 00:23:56,799 --> 00:23:59,599 your point, Tom, whenever that's happened, it changes 668 00:23:59,599 --> 00:24:00,339 the atmosphere 669 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:01,220 instantly. 670 00:24:01,759 --> 00:24:04,000 Sure. It really does. In a positive way. 671 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,595 In a very everybody relaxes. 672 00:24:06,075 --> 00:24:07,434 Right. It's like you're not living in your 673 00:24:07,434 --> 00:24:09,755 own in your own bubble of fear or 674 00:24:09,755 --> 00:24:11,134 your own bubble of uncertainty. 675 00:24:11,595 --> 00:24:12,255 And neither 676 00:24:13,194 --> 00:24:15,275 side has to worry about making a mistake. 677 00:24:15,275 --> 00:24:17,434 And to and and to your point, you 678 00:24:17,434 --> 00:24:19,534 used a very important word which is humility. 679 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,559 If you go into this with the knowledge 680 00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:24,580 that there are these gonna be these differences, 681 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:25,140 and 682 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,559 and I'm going to take responsibility for how 683 00:24:28,559 --> 00:24:29,859 I react with them, 684 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:33,779 that means you go in with a respect 685 00:24:33,839 --> 00:24:34,339 for 686 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,019 however they're behaving. 687 00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:38,835 If you go in and can't have can't 688 00:24:38,835 --> 00:24:41,174 find that respect for however they're behaving, 689 00:24:41,474 --> 00:24:43,234 that means that you're not dealing with your 690 00:24:43,234 --> 00:24:45,174 fear. Right. Right. 691 00:24:45,554 --> 00:24:47,474 But but if you go in knowing that 692 00:24:47,474 --> 00:24:49,720 their behavior may be different from mine, and 693 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,440 I just need to understand that Mhmm. Then 694 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,059 then you're owning that responsibility. 695 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,180 And and and that just changes the complete 696 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,880 atmosphere. Like, I don't know how you do 697 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,100 it. Please help me understand what this means. 698 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,664 Mhmm. I'm not judging it. 699 00:25:05,305 --> 00:25:05,805 I'm 700 00:25:06,265 --> 00:25:09,225 I'm just asking. Mhmm. It the atmosphere completely 701 00:25:09,225 --> 00:25:09,725 changes. 702 00:25:10,505 --> 00:25:12,904 It's been my experience that that happens. Sure. 703 00:25:12,904 --> 00:25:15,164 Sure. And then everything just relaxes. 704 00:25:15,625 --> 00:25:17,484 Mhmm. And it it's also 705 00:25:18,130 --> 00:25:19,490 so tell me if this is what I'm 706 00:25:19,490 --> 00:25:21,089 what I'm hearing. Because what I'm getting out 707 00:25:21,089 --> 00:25:21,909 of it is 708 00:25:22,289 --> 00:25:24,230 if I travel into this other culture 709 00:25:24,609 --> 00:25:26,929 and I take the time to understand some 710 00:25:26,929 --> 00:25:29,829 things about them, I I can't absorb everything. 711 00:25:30,210 --> 00:25:31,849 I didn't grow up in this culture, but 712 00:25:31,849 --> 00:25:33,829 I can I can bring a certain 713 00:25:34,255 --> 00:25:34,755 recognition 714 00:25:35,134 --> 00:25:37,134 of it with me? I can fool them 715 00:25:37,134 --> 00:25:38,595 into thinking I really care. 716 00:25:39,775 --> 00:25:41,775 Yes. That's pretty much it. Isn't it? Just 717 00:25:41,775 --> 00:25:43,054 just fake it till you make it. And 718 00:25:43,054 --> 00:25:44,815 I can take them. Don't actually care at 719 00:25:44,815 --> 00:25:46,275 all. No. No. No. 720 00:25:46,759 --> 00:25:48,920 Just be exploitative. I'm an American. Just be 721 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,600 a jerk. I'll I'll use I'll use a 722 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,920 very important word in the US culture. It 723 00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:53,980 gives you freedom. 724 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:55,420 There you 725 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,960 go. Yes. Let's put that on a flag 726 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,444 and win. The freedom to be a jerk. 727 00:25:59,524 --> 00:26:01,524 Yeah. Do we really know what that means? 728 00:26:01,524 --> 00:26:03,365 Alright. Yeah. I mean, you once you once 729 00:26:03,365 --> 00:26:04,884 you know and you and you make your 730 00:26:04,884 --> 00:26:07,625 choice based on real knowledge Yeah. You know 731 00:26:08,005 --> 00:26:10,085 Hey. You're free to do whatever you want, 732 00:26:10,085 --> 00:26:11,365 but you are free. But you know what 733 00:26:11,365 --> 00:26:13,865 the consequences are gonna be. Better believe it. 734 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,289 Dean, I I I think it's a fair 735 00:26:21,289 --> 00:26:23,690 assumption to believe that, you know, wherever you're 736 00:26:23,690 --> 00:26:26,170 going, you're obviously doing your research beforehand and 737 00:26:26,170 --> 00:26:27,734 you're being, you know, humble and Are you 738 00:26:27,734 --> 00:26:30,214 talking about Dean specifically now? Specifically. Okay. Being 739 00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:31,974 humble and honest when, you know, may not 740 00:26:31,974 --> 00:26:33,815 know something and you're open to learning and 741 00:26:33,815 --> 00:26:35,815 all that. Have you been in situations where 742 00:26:35,815 --> 00:26:39,095 those around you maybe have not been doing 743 00:26:39,095 --> 00:26:40,375 that as much and you've sort of had 744 00:26:40,535 --> 00:26:43,009 you've tried to kinda facilitate that situation. Oh, 745 00:26:43,009 --> 00:26:45,190 yeah. Of course. That's exactly what 746 00:26:45,490 --> 00:26:45,990 what 747 00:26:46,450 --> 00:26:49,349 what is the the more common situation 748 00:26:49,890 --> 00:26:52,369 that I'm often going into places and dealing 749 00:26:52,369 --> 00:26:53,109 with people 750 00:26:53,410 --> 00:26:54,289 who don't make 751 00:26:54,914 --> 00:26:56,674 it's not their job to make sense out 752 00:26:56,674 --> 00:26:58,994 of culture. That's my job. Mhmm. Yeah. Right. 753 00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:00,994 Right? That's not most people's job. Right. Sure. 754 00:27:00,994 --> 00:27:02,755 Most people's job is just to, I don't 755 00:27:02,755 --> 00:27:05,075 know, work the counter or Do whatever they're 756 00:27:05,075 --> 00:27:06,994 supposed to do that day. Factory. You know? 757 00:27:06,994 --> 00:27:08,670 Right. Right. So they're just, 758 00:27:09,150 --> 00:27:11,070 they're not working from this place of what 759 00:27:11,070 --> 00:27:13,150 does this culturally mean? Right. Right. 760 00:27:13,869 --> 00:27:15,950 They don't have to. It's and they shouldn't, 761 00:27:15,950 --> 00:27:16,450 really. 762 00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:19,170 But 763 00:27:19,789 --> 00:27:20,690 so often, 764 00:27:21,455 --> 00:27:23,455 one of the big complaints I get with 765 00:27:23,455 --> 00:27:25,634 folks who are having cultural issues 766 00:27:26,174 --> 00:27:29,455 in particular locations is, look, I've done my 767 00:27:29,455 --> 00:27:32,115 homework, and these people aren't meeting me halfway. 768 00:27:32,894 --> 00:27:35,319 You know? Why haven't they done their homework 769 00:27:35,319 --> 00:27:36,140 too? Mhmm. 770 00:27:36,519 --> 00:27:37,740 And my answer is 771 00:27:38,759 --> 00:27:40,700 and, you know, why is life unfair? 772 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,500 Right. Yeah. I mean Yeah. 773 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:44,460 Yeah. 774 00:27:44,919 --> 00:27:46,440 First of all, you're Wait. It's not going 775 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,359 like you planned? Right. There's a shock. As 776 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,734 you would. Yes. Your expectation that people are 777 00:27:50,734 --> 00:27:51,714 going to be as 778 00:27:52,335 --> 00:27:54,434 tuned into this issue as you are 779 00:27:54,894 --> 00:27:55,714 is the mistake. 780 00:27:56,255 --> 00:27:58,095 Most people are not, and most people don't 781 00:27:58,095 --> 00:27:58,994 care to be. 782 00:27:59,454 --> 00:28:01,394 And if you're certainly working somewhere, 783 00:28:02,150 --> 00:28:04,549 that's your job is not to get them 784 00:28:04,549 --> 00:28:05,450 to to 785 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:06,809 to be as 786 00:28:07,349 --> 00:28:09,589 aware of this as you are. Your job 787 00:28:09,589 --> 00:28:10,329 is to 788 00:28:10,630 --> 00:28:13,109 get your job done. Mhmm. Yeah. Right. And 789 00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:14,789 make sure that that that at the end 790 00:28:14,789 --> 00:28:16,835 of a day, there's a profit, you know, 791 00:28:17,054 --> 00:28:18,815 in in the afternoon. In the long run. 792 00:28:18,815 --> 00:28:21,694 Yeah. Which means it doesn't really matter whether 793 00:28:21,694 --> 00:28:23,775 they ever get it or not. Right. It 794 00:28:23,775 --> 00:28:25,474 means you have to take responsibility 795 00:28:26,414 --> 00:28:29,054 so that you can get what you need 796 00:28:29,054 --> 00:28:30,750 to get in this situation. 797 00:28:31,609 --> 00:28:32,910 Yes. And if that means 798 00:28:33,450 --> 00:28:34,589 being more likable 799 00:28:34,970 --> 00:28:36,750 or being less unlikable 800 00:28:37,529 --> 00:28:40,650 or knowing how to negotiate better with them 801 00:28:40,650 --> 00:28:43,065 because you understand their culture or how to 802 00:28:43,065 --> 00:28:44,904 run the meeting better because they're gonna be 803 00:28:44,904 --> 00:28:45,565 more comfortable, 804 00:28:46,904 --> 00:28:49,224 then do it. Right. Right. Right. But that's 805 00:28:49,224 --> 00:28:50,984 the reason to do it. Sure. You know, 806 00:28:50,984 --> 00:28:52,744 I'll be honest on you. It's it I 807 00:28:52,744 --> 00:28:53,464 I will also 808 00:28:54,184 --> 00:28:56,750 I wanna relate to a couple of of, 809 00:28:57,049 --> 00:28:59,070 incidences that that I experienced 810 00:28:59,769 --> 00:29:00,089 in, 811 00:29:00,650 --> 00:29:03,690 again, France. I'm picking up France today. But, 812 00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:06,970 it is it it was we spent some 813 00:29:06,970 --> 00:29:08,190 time there. And, 814 00:29:08,970 --> 00:29:10,430 when we first arrived, 815 00:29:11,025 --> 00:29:11,525 I, 816 00:29:12,545 --> 00:29:14,465 a a friend of the person that I 817 00:29:14,465 --> 00:29:16,545 was dealing with there came and picked us 818 00:29:16,545 --> 00:29:17,525 up at the airport, 819 00:29:18,465 --> 00:29:21,265 in in Paris and was driving us to 820 00:29:21,265 --> 00:29:23,105 their home, which we were gonna be living 821 00:29:23,105 --> 00:29:24,144 in. And, 822 00:29:24,705 --> 00:29:27,809 so I'm doing this, and I'm weak in 823 00:29:27,809 --> 00:29:28,309 French. 824 00:29:28,769 --> 00:29:30,470 And so I wanted to 825 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,070 practice my French 826 00:29:32,529 --> 00:29:34,369 on this ride back, and, 827 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,849 everyone else is pretty much just trying to 828 00:29:36,849 --> 00:29:39,255 get over the chat Stay awake. Yeah. And 829 00:29:39,494 --> 00:29:40,535 and so As soon as you get in 830 00:29:40,535 --> 00:29:41,815 the back seat of a car after a 831 00:29:41,815 --> 00:29:42,714 long transatlantic 832 00:29:43,015 --> 00:29:43,515 trip. 833 00:29:43,894 --> 00:29:46,214 Yep. And and but so I'm trying to 834 00:29:46,214 --> 00:29:48,454 do this, and and the gentleman who picked 835 00:29:48,454 --> 00:29:51,275 this up desperately wanted to practice his English. 836 00:29:51,295 --> 00:29:53,549 Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. Yeah. And and I 837 00:29:53,789 --> 00:29:55,149 and so I'm going along, and then finally 838 00:29:55,149 --> 00:29:56,750 I thought, okay. I I you know, he's 839 00:29:56,750 --> 00:29:58,509 coming out of his way to pick us 840 00:29:58,509 --> 00:30:00,909 up. It's like, I I would really like 841 00:30:00,909 --> 00:30:03,470 to try to converse in French, but it's 842 00:30:03,630 --> 00:30:06,909 okay. Okay. Let's so we we did talk 843 00:30:06,990 --> 00:30:07,889 spoke in English 844 00:30:08,265 --> 00:30:08,765 and, 845 00:30:09,545 --> 00:30:11,705 with that. Now so there was that where 846 00:30:11,705 --> 00:30:13,305 I I felt like, oh, okay. I have 847 00:30:13,305 --> 00:30:15,065 to I have to go in his way 848 00:30:15,065 --> 00:30:17,865 because otherwise, it's I I I think it's 849 00:30:17,865 --> 00:30:20,105 gonna be disrespectful. Also, it didn't force me 850 00:30:20,105 --> 00:30:21,322 to speak French for a while, so maybe 851 00:30:21,322 --> 00:30:21,476 there was a personal thing there. But, so 852 00:30:21,476 --> 00:30:22,970 not long after that, it was thing there. 853 00:30:23,269 --> 00:30:23,769 But, 854 00:30:24,230 --> 00:30:26,230 so not long after that, we it was 855 00:30:26,230 --> 00:30:28,390 a small town right outside of Paris, and 856 00:30:28,390 --> 00:30:30,970 and there was a train station very close 857 00:30:31,269 --> 00:30:33,669 that that went right into commuted right into 858 00:30:33,669 --> 00:30:35,085 the center of Paris. So, 859 00:30:35,804 --> 00:30:38,944 went down to buy tickets. Okay. Small town. 860 00:30:39,644 --> 00:30:42,524 What can you anticipate? My total anticipation is 861 00:30:42,524 --> 00:30:45,005 no one's speaking English. Everybody's speaking French, which 862 00:30:45,005 --> 00:30:46,224 pretty much was true. 863 00:30:46,684 --> 00:30:48,059 Get to the window 864 00:30:48,380 --> 00:30:50,380 and start to talk to them, and the 865 00:30:50,380 --> 00:30:52,400 young lady who's behind the window 866 00:30:52,940 --> 00:30:55,759 wants to speak English. Sure. So okay. 867 00:30:56,460 --> 00:30:56,960 Okay. 868 00:30:57,340 --> 00:30:59,100 Does she wanna speak English to practice her 869 00:30:59,100 --> 00:31:00,940 English, or does she wanna speak English not 870 00:31:00,940 --> 00:31:03,184 to endure your massacre of the French? Yes. 871 00:31:03,184 --> 00:31:05,684 A little of both. Yeah. Probably both. Yes. 872 00:31:05,904 --> 00:31:07,924 Very, very likely with my French. 873 00:31:08,304 --> 00:31:10,545 So it she's so here we go. So 874 00:31:10,545 --> 00:31:13,025 I'm kind of thinking too. There's a selfish 875 00:31:13,025 --> 00:31:15,365 part of this, of course. I'm thinking, good. 876 00:31:15,585 --> 00:31:17,765 Because then I can make myself 877 00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:20,890 known better because I have much larger vocabulary 878 00:31:21,029 --> 00:31:23,430 in English than I do in French. So 879 00:31:23,430 --> 00:31:25,029 I'm and I'm trying to sort out the 880 00:31:25,029 --> 00:31:26,490 French train system. 881 00:31:27,190 --> 00:31:27,590 And, 882 00:31:28,230 --> 00:31:30,230 so here we go. Well, it turns out 883 00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:32,144 we have the wrong tickets. At in the 884 00:31:32,144 --> 00:31:33,505 long run, it turns out we have the 885 00:31:33,505 --> 00:31:34,325 wrong tickets. 886 00:31:34,705 --> 00:31:36,484 And so the next day, 887 00:31:36,785 --> 00:31:38,644 I go back, and there she is. 888 00:31:39,025 --> 00:31:41,105 And I started out by saying, 889 00:31:43,585 --> 00:31:45,345 and she was like See you play. Yeah. 890 00:31:45,345 --> 00:31:46,164 See you play. 891 00:31:49,029 --> 00:31:51,509 And she was and she kind of smiled 892 00:31:51,509 --> 00:31:53,669 and nodded and everything, and I explained the 893 00:31:53,669 --> 00:31:54,490 ticket problem. 894 00:31:54,869 --> 00:31:58,150 And as again, you know, god gosh knows 895 00:31:58,150 --> 00:31:59,784 what I said, but, 896 00:32:01,125 --> 00:32:03,204 she seemed to understand. The omelet will be 897 00:32:03,204 --> 00:32:04,825 ready on Tuesday. Yes. Exactly. 898 00:32:05,365 --> 00:32:06,884 If I was fortunate enough to get that 899 00:32:06,884 --> 00:32:07,784 together. Yes. 900 00:32:08,085 --> 00:32:08,565 And, 901 00:32:09,044 --> 00:32:10,404 and by the way, the omelet was great. 902 00:32:10,404 --> 00:32:11,144 Oh my god. 903 00:32:11,765 --> 00:32:14,089 And and and so I, you know, and 904 00:32:14,089 --> 00:32:15,609 I kept making my way through because it 905 00:32:15,609 --> 00:32:18,569 it my brain said, look, she's going to 906 00:32:18,569 --> 00:32:21,609 have more ability to give to figure out 907 00:32:21,609 --> 00:32:23,529 what I really want and what I'm really 908 00:32:23,529 --> 00:32:25,309 heading for in her language. 909 00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,095 So I was hoping. 910 00:32:27,474 --> 00:32:30,595 And, turned out, yes. That's exactly what happened. 911 00:32:30,595 --> 00:32:32,375 But it was an interesting lesson 912 00:32:32,755 --> 00:32:35,575 in kind of giving giving to that person 913 00:32:35,795 --> 00:32:37,954 in in true. It just exactly what you're 914 00:32:37,954 --> 00:32:40,190 talking about. I'm gonna give it up from 915 00:32:40,190 --> 00:32:40,930 my end 916 00:32:41,230 --> 00:32:43,230 to to to hopefully get what I want. 917 00:32:43,230 --> 00:32:45,809 Oh, guess what? That didn't work. 918 00:32:46,190 --> 00:32:47,730 Now let's go my direction. 919 00:32:48,109 --> 00:32:51,330 Okay? Which was really kinda her direction because 920 00:32:51,470 --> 00:32:52,670 she was the one whom that was her 921 00:32:52,670 --> 00:32:55,414 native language. It was French. But but she 922 00:32:55,414 --> 00:32:57,815 had wanted something for herself and and in 923 00:32:57,815 --> 00:32:59,174 giving it to her. Now I could have 924 00:32:59,174 --> 00:33:00,535 walked her through the window, had a totally 925 00:33:00,535 --> 00:33:02,295 different person who had no English and didn't 926 00:33:02,295 --> 00:33:04,134 care to. Well, you know, individual there are 927 00:33:04,134 --> 00:33:06,375 individuals in every culture, so you never know 928 00:33:06,375 --> 00:33:07,359 the person 929 00:33:07,660 --> 00:33:10,240 who you the issues that that maybe maybe 930 00:33:10,619 --> 00:33:12,140 maybe they grow up grew up as an 931 00:33:12,140 --> 00:33:14,960 Anglo Anglophone even though they're French. Who knows? 932 00:33:15,019 --> 00:33:15,920 Right. Right. Right. 933 00:33:16,220 --> 00:33:17,279 But in general, 934 00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:20,700 this plan that you have Yeah. And this 935 00:33:20,700 --> 00:33:22,480 plan that everyone should have 936 00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:24,914 should be based on some awareness of the 937 00:33:24,914 --> 00:33:25,894 of the particular 938 00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:29,315 orientation of the culture that you're in. Yes. 939 00:33:29,315 --> 00:33:31,954 Right. Yes. Independent of the individual that you 940 00:33:31,954 --> 00:33:33,795 wind up speaking. Right. Because you can always 941 00:33:33,795 --> 00:33:35,555 adjust to the individual. And you're going to 942 00:33:35,555 --> 00:33:37,590 have to. Right. That's the reality of it. 943 00:33:37,590 --> 00:33:39,750 It's but that's no different than what you 944 00:33:39,750 --> 00:33:42,070 do daily throughout your life. That's right. You're 945 00:33:42,070 --> 00:33:43,670 just doing it in a culture you're very 946 00:33:43,670 --> 00:33:45,269 comfortable with most of the time. So you 947 00:33:45,269 --> 00:33:46,869 don't think about it. Right? It's not a 948 00:33:46,869 --> 00:33:48,630 conscious thing. It's a subconscious. And what I 949 00:33:48,630 --> 00:33:49,990 heard you saying over and over in that 950 00:33:49,990 --> 00:33:51,345 story is you were trying to put yourself 951 00:33:51,345 --> 00:33:52,944 in the other person's mind Yes. In their 952 00:33:52,944 --> 00:33:54,144 in their shoes. Yes. Right? And I think 953 00:33:54,144 --> 00:33:55,664 that's the key, is that is that empathy 954 00:33:55,664 --> 00:33:57,265 aspect. And you may not be able to 955 00:33:57,265 --> 00:33:57,924 do that 956 00:33:58,224 --> 00:34:00,085 successfully as you might hope. Sure. 957 00:34:00,384 --> 00:34:01,424 And I knew that. All the time in 958 00:34:01,424 --> 00:34:03,025 life. Therefore, I knew how to say in 959 00:34:03,025 --> 00:34:05,184 French, my French is very, very bad. Right. 960 00:34:05,184 --> 00:34:06,809 Right. And I would start off with that 961 00:34:06,970 --> 00:34:09,289 to go to your point, Dean, about the 962 00:34:09,289 --> 00:34:10,430 about the the humility 963 00:34:10,969 --> 00:34:12,969 and and, you know, letting and I've learned 964 00:34:12,969 --> 00:34:14,430 to do that in several languages 965 00:34:14,969 --> 00:34:17,849 on in travel because it is something and 966 00:34:17,849 --> 00:34:20,010 not even in travel, in around the this 967 00:34:20,170 --> 00:34:22,885 the United States too. Well, shorter travel. In 968 00:34:22,885 --> 00:34:24,644 and around the United States when you run 969 00:34:24,644 --> 00:34:26,664 into different people from different countries 970 00:34:27,204 --> 00:34:30,085 here who are maybe not even from different 971 00:34:30,085 --> 00:34:32,005 countries, but from con peep from people who 972 00:34:32,005 --> 00:34:32,905 speak primarily 973 00:34:33,765 --> 00:34:36,644 Spanish in their home or whatever it happens 974 00:34:36,644 --> 00:34:38,650 to be. Whatever their first language might be. 975 00:34:38,650 --> 00:34:41,289 Yeah. And and and trying to speak a 976 00:34:41,289 --> 00:34:43,210 little bit of their language of them. I'm 977 00:34:43,210 --> 00:34:45,150 better at Spanish than I am at French. 978 00:34:46,170 --> 00:34:47,849 But I know how to say my Spanish 979 00:34:47,849 --> 00:34:49,964 is very, very bad. And because 980 00:34:50,824 --> 00:34:53,244 I'm not fluent in any of those languages, 981 00:34:53,625 --> 00:34:55,625 but I can get by better in Spanish 982 00:34:55,625 --> 00:34:56,664 than I can in Spanish. I think there's 983 00:34:56,664 --> 00:34:59,144 very little danger in being humble. Right. And 984 00:34:59,144 --> 00:35:00,984 and, ultimately, it gives you a greater 985 00:35:01,464 --> 00:35:03,840 far greater advantage. Yes. And I think too, 986 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,360 from your story and to what you were 987 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,460 saying, Dean, I think if you really are 988 00:35:07,519 --> 00:35:10,000 very scared about being the ugly, filling your 989 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:11,840 your country of choice, American, or whatever it 990 00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,079 might be, keep in mind that many people 991 00:35:14,079 --> 00:35:16,394 will give you grace. Right? Yes. That if 992 00:35:16,394 --> 00:35:17,994 you are, you know, trying to speak your 993 00:35:17,994 --> 00:35:19,675 French and you might be butchering it, you 994 00:35:19,675 --> 00:35:21,275 know, that they might speak with you in 995 00:35:21,275 --> 00:35:22,554 English. Right? That may be because they wanna 996 00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:23,994 practice your English, but they also might be 997 00:35:23,994 --> 00:35:25,914 saying, okay. I realize that, you know, this 998 00:35:25,914 --> 00:35:27,594 person could be able to communicate. It could 999 00:35:27,594 --> 00:35:29,309 be much easier. And I can communicate in 1000 00:35:29,309 --> 00:35:30,510 English. So let's just And at the end 1001 00:35:30,510 --> 00:35:31,710 of the day That's okay. And at the 1002 00:35:31,710 --> 00:35:33,070 end of the day, if you're trying to 1003 00:35:33,070 --> 00:35:34,369 conduct a business transaction, 1004 00:35:35,150 --> 00:35:36,910 look. We're gonna be here till 4 o'clock 1005 00:35:36,910 --> 00:35:38,910 if we continue like this. Right. Or we 1006 00:35:38,910 --> 00:35:41,010 can just make this nice, quick, and easy. 1007 00:35:41,070 --> 00:35:42,590 Yeah. So let's just do it the easy 1008 00:35:42,590 --> 00:35:44,394 way. But don't if yeah. So don't be 1009 00:35:44,394 --> 00:35:46,154 afraid that, you know, the person is gonna 1010 00:35:46,315 --> 00:35:48,394 you know? I mean, this could happen, but 1011 00:35:48,394 --> 00:35:50,074 I think most people will, you know, give 1012 00:35:50,074 --> 00:35:52,154 you that grace to not say, oh, well, 1013 00:35:52,154 --> 00:35:53,994 this person's, you know, speaking horrible French. I'm 1014 00:35:53,994 --> 00:35:55,674 just going to ignore them after that. I'll 1015 00:35:55,674 --> 00:35:57,034 go I'll go even one better, and I 1016 00:35:57,034 --> 00:35:58,469 think it's been my experience that 1017 00:35:58,930 --> 00:36:02,050 that most people really enjoy explaining their culture 1018 00:36:02,050 --> 00:36:04,550 to you Mhmm. If they suddenly see somebody 1019 00:36:04,849 --> 00:36:07,489 in front of them who's interested. Mhmm. Yes. 1020 00:36:07,489 --> 00:36:10,289 You know? Yes. Yeah. And and then you'll 1021 00:36:10,289 --> 00:36:12,724 you'll just learn a whole lot. Look. I 1022 00:36:12,724 --> 00:36:14,244 mean, you have to take the situation by 1023 00:36:14,244 --> 00:36:16,405 situation. Right. Is the ticket booth clerk gonna 1024 00:36:16,405 --> 00:36:19,125 do this? No. Right. But Right. But maybe 1025 00:36:19,125 --> 00:36:20,965 somebody you meet, you know, on the street 1026 00:36:20,965 --> 00:36:22,724 at a cafe who you're having a nice 1027 00:36:22,724 --> 00:36:23,704 conversation with 1028 00:36:24,085 --> 00:36:26,324 would go that distance and explain things to 1029 00:36:26,324 --> 00:36:28,340 you. Mhmm. And it's been my experience that 1030 00:36:28,340 --> 00:36:29,800 more people will do that 1031 00:36:30,179 --> 00:36:32,420 than not. Yeah. Nice. Because they really want 1032 00:36:32,420 --> 00:36:34,500 to oh, here's somebody who's interested in my 1033 00:36:34,500 --> 00:36:35,000 culture. 1034 00:36:35,619 --> 00:36:37,699 I will I will tell them things. Nice. 1035 00:36:37,699 --> 00:36:40,545 Nice. Yes. Certainly. Certainly. Invite them in too. 1036 00:36:40,784 --> 00:36:42,484 And and I'm I am going to 1037 00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:43,284 wrap 1038 00:36:43,585 --> 00:36:44,664 this up Okay. 1039 00:36:45,105 --> 00:36:46,944 And, with and put a bow on it. 1040 00:36:46,944 --> 00:36:47,924 Okay. Oh. 1041 00:36:48,304 --> 00:36:51,664 Oh, I see. Word play. Word play. Word 1042 00:36:51,664 --> 00:36:52,164 play. 1043 00:36:52,784 --> 00:36:54,784 A b e a u. A a 1044 00:36:55,789 --> 00:36:57,469 That'd be interesting. It would. 1045 00:36:58,030 --> 00:36:59,650 I'm I'm doing it as our, 1046 00:37:00,429 --> 00:37:02,829 our gift to the listener. Wow. Look at 1047 00:37:02,829 --> 00:37:04,769 you. You're on fire. You bet, baby. 1048 00:37:05,789 --> 00:37:08,530 And in saying at this holiday season 1049 00:37:08,914 --> 00:37:10,434 that it is a, 1050 00:37:10,835 --> 00:37:12,295 that that really 1051 00:37:12,675 --> 00:37:14,454 what we've been talking about in this particular 1052 00:37:14,514 --> 00:37:15,734 podcast, I think, 1053 00:37:16,034 --> 00:37:18,514 is what we've been dealing with and hearing 1054 00:37:18,514 --> 00:37:19,655 from from Dean 1055 00:37:20,034 --> 00:37:22,355 over all these podcasts for the last several 1056 00:37:22,355 --> 00:37:25,230 years now. And, if you're joining if you're 1057 00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:27,250 new to us, either brand new or 1058 00:37:27,710 --> 00:37:29,469 or you've only been around for a few 1059 00:37:29,469 --> 00:37:31,710 episodes, I I encourage you to please go 1060 00:37:31,710 --> 00:37:34,750 back and and subscribe and and and be 1061 00:37:34,750 --> 00:37:36,605 part of what we're doing because we're we're 1062 00:37:36,605 --> 00:37:39,344 trying to help people more and more, 1063 00:37:40,125 --> 00:37:42,065 get to understand the world 1064 00:37:42,364 --> 00:37:44,444 that we're in and be able to work 1065 00:37:44,444 --> 00:37:46,444 and play in it at as high a 1066 00:37:46,444 --> 00:37:48,464 level as we possibly can. Mhmm. You agree? 1067 00:37:48,605 --> 00:37:50,525 Absolutely. Yeah. Right. I mean, we're at a 1068 00:37:50,525 --> 00:37:52,530 point, an inflection point, I think, in human 1069 00:37:52,530 --> 00:37:55,410 society Yep. Where we have no choice but 1070 00:37:55,410 --> 00:37:57,690 to do that in order to survive. Yes. 1071 00:37:57,690 --> 00:38:00,469 This is this is a vital survival 1072 00:38:00,849 --> 00:38:01,809 issue. Yes. 1073 00:38:02,369 --> 00:38:04,050 And to step on to that a little 1074 00:38:04,050 --> 00:38:05,489 farther, I think the the, 1075 00:38:06,275 --> 00:38:07,795 because of what we spoke about a little 1076 00:38:07,795 --> 00:38:10,934 while ago, the communication lines being open to 1077 00:38:11,235 --> 00:38:14,434 literally instantaneous around the world. Mhmm. You you 1078 00:38:14,434 --> 00:38:16,695 need to understand that when you are communicating 1079 00:38:16,755 --> 00:38:19,235 with other cultures. Yes. If it's a Zoom 1080 00:38:19,235 --> 00:38:21,750 call or it's a or it's just audio 1081 00:38:21,890 --> 00:38:23,890 or whatever it happens to be, or you're 1082 00:38:23,890 --> 00:38:26,289 you're or you're chatting on something where it's 1083 00:38:26,289 --> 00:38:28,610 written, there has to be an understanding. That 1084 00:38:28,610 --> 00:38:29,989 person is not necessarily, 1085 00:38:30,289 --> 00:38:31,349 probably not, 1086 00:38:31,650 --> 00:38:33,030 coming from the same 1087 00:38:33,329 --> 00:38:33,829 background 1088 00:38:34,210 --> 00:38:36,485 that you're coming from. Right. And and you've 1089 00:38:36,485 --> 00:38:38,244 gotta you've gotta be able to give and 1090 00:38:38,244 --> 00:38:40,325 take Stay aware. Be bold. Directions. Do your 1091 00:38:40,325 --> 00:38:42,005 homework as much as you can. Yes. And 1092 00:38:42,005 --> 00:38:42,744 then that ugliness 1093 00:38:43,285 --> 00:38:45,364 doesn't doesn't rear it That's not ugly. On 1094 00:38:45,364 --> 00:38:47,125 the head. No. Yeah. There's nothing ugly about 1095 00:38:47,125 --> 00:38:48,565 it. No. Right. Right. Right. It it 1096 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,159 On a practical level, it's absolutely essential. Yeah. 1097 00:38:52,159 --> 00:38:54,500 Day to day for our own individual success. 1098 00:38:54,639 --> 00:38:56,480 Yes. And on a survival level of the 1099 00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,359 species Yeah. It's great. It varies more so 1100 00:38:59,359 --> 00:39:01,280 now than ever in the history of the 1101 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,934 planet. Human relations. Yes. That's right. 1102 00:39:04,555 --> 00:39:06,555 And with that being said, I think we 1103 00:39:06,555 --> 00:39:08,974 understand that it is that important because 1104 00:39:10,235 --> 00:39:10,735 oops, 1105 00:39:11,515 --> 00:39:12,974 your culture show. 1106 00:39:13,994 --> 00:39:14,494 Smell 1107 00:39:15,195 --> 00:39:15,695 you. 1108 00:39:25,390 --> 00:39:27,390 Before you run off and disappear back into 1109 00:39:27,390 --> 00:39:28,530 your own cultures, 1110 00:39:29,085 --> 00:39:31,164 let me give you some information about something 1111 00:39:31,164 --> 00:39:33,164 we really want you to know, and that's 1112 00:39:33,164 --> 00:39:35,025 how to get hold of us. 1113 00:39:35,565 --> 00:39:38,684 Give us your questions, your comments, anything along 1114 00:39:38,684 --> 00:39:40,545 those lines by email. 1115 00:39:40,925 --> 00:39:42,144 It's oops 1116 00:39:42,609 --> 00:39:43,909 culture show atgmail.com. 1117 00:39:45,329 --> 00:39:47,409 And be sure to follow us on whatever 1118 00:39:47,409 --> 00:39:51,030 social media you use at oops culture show. 1119 00:39:51,409 --> 00:39:51,909 Thanks.