Need advice on how to break up a
Christian dating relationship?
A famous fifties breakup song gives us this
little bit of dating advice on how to
break up.
Breaking up is hard to do.
No. You think?
Whether you are a Christian single couple in
a courtship or an online dating relationship,
how you break up a relationship will be
emotionally painful for both of you. If you
are contemplating a breakup of your dating relationship,
considering the following dating advice may help you
avoid a wrong decision while making it as
easy and painless as possible.
Six Christian dating advice tips on how to
break up and ending a relationship.
Ask the Lord for wisdom, see James one
five.
As a single Christian, praying for guidance and
wisdom in the matter of a breakup should
be the very first course of action before
making any dating decisions.
You will be less likely to make a
mistake if you do so.
Discuss the dating breakup possibility with family and
friends.
God often leads through our parents' dating advice
even if they are not Christians.
Proverbs teach that there is wisdom in using
a multiplicity of counselors.
So also discuss the possibility of a breakup
with trusted Christian friends.
They may very well give you some much
needed advice that helps you make a decision
or puts the relationship in a completely different
light.
Be sure to use these valuable resources.
Be honest, but speak the truth in love.
Ephesians four fifteen.
Never bash your dating partner personally, which will
only hurt them even more and affect their
self worth for quite some time.
Do you really wanna do that?
Instead, tenderly explain why you feel God's leading
you to end the relationship.
As you do this, remember the golden rule
and how it would feel if someone was
breaking up with you.
While face to face conversation allows for far
better closure, if that is not possible,
a handwritten letter is the next best thing.
A typed or emailed dear John letter is
seen as cold and mean.
Don't delay the inevitable.
Okay. You've prayed over the breakup. You've discussed
the issues with family, minister, and friends.
You know what you need to do.
Delaying the obvious now will not only cause
more pain for both of you, but will
delay the healing process.
By acting now, you give the lord opportunity
to begin leading both of you to the
soulmates he has in mind.
Many delay breakups because they may be using
the other person until something better comes
along. Another reason for delayed breakups is that
the other person is manipulating by putting the
person who wants the breakup on a guilt
trip
to remain in an unhealthy dating situation.
Make a clean break.
Right. This is going to be hard, but
you must be strong here because it is
in the best interest of both to move
forward.
This means after the breakup, there should be
no face to face meetings if possible,
no emails, telephone calls, letters, etcetera.
While some couples may agree to remain friends,
the data suggests that in over ninety percent
of breakups,
this fails miserably
and only lengthens the healing process.
Learn from the dating experience.
Use this dating experience to learn from your
mistakes and build on the future.
What has the lord taught you about yourself?
What has he taught you about what you
need in a husband or a wife?
If you've sexually sinned in this relationship,
remember Jesus forgives and cleanses, first John one
nine.
Finally, thank him for the bright plans he
has for you, Jeremiah twenty nine eleven.
Dating after a breakup of a serious relationship
can be a tricky experience for any single
Christian or not.
Self esteem
issues, rejection,
and the ever lurking possibility of rebound relationships
are things singles need to be cognizant of
after reentering the dating world after a breakup.
Dating a friend's ex is a particularly dangerous
breakup?
Most experts in the field suggest daters wait
at least a year after they break up.
Whether you're thinking about dating after a divorce
or coming out of a dating relationship that
lasted for more than one year.
Consider the following questions as you ponder if
you are ready for dating after a breakup.
Dating after a breakup tips.
Do you hold bitterness or an unforgiving spirit
toward your ex dating partner?
Were you sexually active during your relationship?
Do you have dreams of getting back with
him or
her? Answering yes to any of the above
means you are definitely not ready to get
back into the dating market.
If you feel you passed the test and
are ready to date again, here are some
tips.
First of all, now that you are single,
take some time to enjoy your freedom.
Whatever you do, don't rush to get into
another relationship just because you wanna be in
one.
It will only cause hurt feelings and broken
hearts.
Take some time to move on and think
about what you are looking for in a
relationship.
Remember to accept other people that you date
for who they are.
Some people look for somebody exactly like their
ex and reject everyone who is different.
Other people people try to avoid anybody who
reminds them of their
ex. Just accept people for who they are,
and if you feel a connection, don't be
scared to enter a relationship
and do not compare people to your ex.
Don't expect a date to end up in
a long term relationship.
If you do this, you will be setting
yourself up for another fall.
Remember that you cannot act the same way
with a new person as you did with
your ex,
but don't hesitate to enjoy yourself and do
the same activities that you did with your
ex
before the relationship became very serious.
Above all, have fun.
If you cannot enjoy yourself because you are
still too hurt, then you should hold off
on dating for a while more.
Believe it or not, instead of dating issues,
the topic of relationship breakups takes up most
of the mail we receive
at Christian Dating Service Plus.
I guess the reason for this is that
relationship breakups are one of the most painful
experiences to endure
right up there with unrequited love.
The fact is relationship breakups cause lots of
heartbreak
even when we know it wasn't a healthy
relationship
and we probably should have dumped it a
while back.
Why do relationship breakups cause so much pain?
It's simple.
Whenever we invest our time,
money, and heart into someone, it turns into
major disappointment
if a relationship breakup occurs.
Relationship breakups cause singles to grieve the loss
in a number of ways.
A relationship breakup means loss of friendship.
A relationship breakup involves the loss of a
vision of things that could have been.
A relationship breakup could entail loss of self
esteem.
Overall, no one should go through the breakup
of a serious relationship without help.