So we're in a series called Ask the
rabbi.
And what we're doing is we're going through,
like, for the month of June and July
going through the gospel
and looking at different questions
that were asked of Jesus.
And then we wanna find the context,
we wanna see how Jesus responds
And we wanna see who asked the question?
And and why
did they ask the question?
And it's been it's been really good. Like,
for me as teacher. I know I... I've
grown and and more in my understanding. My
daughter chandler and I are doing a bible
reading summer plan together. And so just really
stand focused in the word and a lot
in the the gospel pulls and getting to
know Jesus better. But
Today is a follow up to last week.
If you were here last week, we did
a message called questioning
our limits.
And the question to Jesus was from the
ph,
why do you eat with tax collectors and
sinner? Why do you receive sinner?
And we looked at that how the ph
sees put limits on the grace of God.
They put limits on the love of God,
who did who could god love.
Well, this week,
that that was kind of the vertical look
at at at limits. This week, we're gonna
look at horizontal.
Do we put limits on who we will
forgive
and and how will we would forgive or
hold on to things?
So today's question comes from
the apostle Peter to Jesus.
And I think when he questions Jesus, he's
He... This is a sincere question
from Peter.
He wasn't trying to trick Jesus like a
lot of other people were.
Then Peter came up and he said to
him, Lord,
how many times
shall my brother sit against me and I
still forgive him.
Up to 7 times.
Jesus said to him, I do not say
up to 7 times, but up to 70
times 7. Pause real quick.
Jesus isn't saying on the 490
first time you can forgive.
He... It's a Jewish eu. He's being facet
exaggerating on purpose
that forgiveness is always the thing to do
when somebody
offend you.
He says, for this reason, the kingdom of
heaven is like a king who wanted to
settle accounts with his servants.
And when he had begun to settle them,
1 owed him 10000
talents.
Some scholars believe that was about 12000000 dollars
in today's currency.
And he was brought to him. But since
he did not have the means to repay,
12000000 dollars a lot of money, His master
commanded that he be sold along with his
wife and children
and all that he had in repayment be
made. In those days, if you
you know, gathered up a bunch of debt.
You didn't couldn't file chapter 11. You couldn't
file bankruptcy.
You had to pay it off. And the
husband would go to to prison and the
rest of the family would go into slavery
until those debts were paid off.
So he fell to the ground and pros
himself before him saying, have patience with me,
and I will repay you everything.
And the master
of that slave felt compassion,
and he released him and he forgave him
the debt.
But that slave went out and found 1
of his fellow
slaves who owed him a hundred hundred Den,
about 17 dollars.
12000017
dollars.
And he seized him and he began to
choke him saying, payback what you owe.
So this fell slave fell to the ground,
and he began to plead with him saying,
have patience with me,
and I will repay you. But he was
unwilling.
And he went and threw him in a
prison until he would pay back what was
owed.
So when his fellow slaves saw what had
happened.
They were deeply grieve and came and reported
to their master, all that had happened.
Then summon him, his master said to him,
you wicked slave.
I forgave you all that debt because you
pleaded with me.
Should you not also have had mercy on
your fellow slave?
In the same way that I had mercy
on you?
And his master moved with anger handed him
over to the torture until he would repay
all that was owed him.
My heavenly father will also do the same
to you if each of you does not
forgive his brother from your heart.
That's pretty intense.
Pretty intense story
in what Jesus is trying to convey
to the disciples and to us
Forgiving someone
is leaving the judgment
to the 1 who can rightly judge.
Why we don't get to judge. We don't
have all the facts. We don't know all
that's going on, but he does. He knows
and and sees everything.
It takes grace to forgive.
Some of you have been hurt deeply by
people.
It takes grace to forgive. Grace is the
power to do what you could never do
on your own. That's what Grace is.
C Lewis said,
to be a christian means to forgive the
in
because God has forgiven the in excuse in
you,
powerful words.
In 2015,
I was reading an article.
About a
woman who was murdered in cold blood in
her home.
People broke into her home. She was pregnant
at the time and had had a kid,
someone broke into her home to rob her,
and they ended up killing her.
Well, her husband was a pastor at And
a pastor of a church, lot like ovation
had just planted a church outside of Indianapolis.
And
when they interviewed him
about what had happened to his wife an
un born child.
His only response was
I'm gonna try every day to forgive
her killers.
There another story I saw
about a guy who was a a serial
killer.
He had killed 48 women.
And when they were sentencing him,
the each family member of the 48 people,
whom he murdered
got to say something to him.
And
everybody was like, I hope you rotten and
hell you evil blah blah blah.
And there was this 1 guy.
And he didn't say things like that. He
said, what he did
was so wrong and it was evil. He
said, but I follow Jesus,
and he tells me I have to forgive
you,
and I forgive you.
And the whole time all these other people
were... Telling him I hope you rotten in
hell,
he's he's just very stoic in his look.
But but once that guy said I forgive
you, or he began to ball, like a
little baby,
the power of forgiveness, the power of forgiving
those who wrong us.
Now,
most of us will not have to
forgive something that intense. That's very
dream. The question is, if those people can
forgive
that kind of sin against them,
why do we struggle so much with little
petty things?
And and irritation and resentment that builds and
builds and builds.
Each 1 of us have been hurt by
people.
We've been hurt. You look back on your
life. Someone has hurt you. Maybe you're in
the middle of a hurt right now. And
though that pain has actually shaped your life.
But maybe more importantly,
how you respond
to those offenses and pain is shaping you.
Even in a deeper way, either for for
for better
or for worse.
So why must we forgive others?
Because in this parable,
seems to me that forgiving 1 another?
Is very important to Jesus that we learn
to forgive as he's
forgiven.
Think the first thing is this. Why must
we forgive others? Because God expects me to
do for others as he's done for me?
He expects us to forgive as we've been
forgiven.
Forgiveness is paying a debt you didn't know.
That guy, the master paid off this guy's
debt.
When you forgive somebody, you pay a debt
that you didn't owe. That's exactly what God
did for us.
Romans 06:23
for the wages
of sin is death. What we earn or
the debt we earn by sin is death,
but the gift of God is eternal life
in Christ.
God forgave us of our debt and gave
us eternal life.
In that story, and the master of that
slave felt compassion,
and he released him, and he forgave him
the debt.
God has compassion on us sinner.
He had so much compassion
that he sent as 1 an only son.
To come for us and to rescue us
from our debt. The apostle Paul wrote the
church
in. He said don't be angry with each
other.
But forgive each other.
If you feel someone has wrong you, forgive
them,
forgive others because the Lord forgave you.
I mean, no forgiving is not an easy
thing to do. It's not.
But we become like God when we forgive.
As we extend forgiveness.
When we realize how much we've been
forgiven ourselves, the only right
response is to extend grace and forgiveness to
others.
And I... I've learned this over the years.
You know this to be true. Sometimes
Most of the time, we have higher
expectations for others than we do ourselves. Is
that not true?
When we blow it or we fail. It's
like, hey, forgive me. I'm so sorry. Extend
me some grace.
But then when somebody wrongs us,
We find it hard to extend that same
kind of grace. But you don't know what
they did to me. You don't know how
much pain they cause, and we... We play
this little game of having higher
expectations for others than ourselves. We need to
flip that.
Let's have higher
expectations of ourselves and maybe less. In and
how we're... We see
in others. Second reason we must forgive is
because it's evidence that I've received forgiveness
I think that's part of Jesus point here.
If you take a notes, write this down.
Forgiven people
forgive people.
Forgiven people,
forgive people.
If you're not willing to forgive then have
you received the forgiveness of the father?
I think that's the point.
He said should you not also have had
mercy on your fellow slave in the same
way that I had mercy on you?
And his master mood with anger handed him
over to the torture until he should repay
all that was owed him.
Unforgiveness is a prison.
It's a prison cell that we put ourselves
in when we choose not to forgive.
As we've been forgiven.
Unforgiveness torture us.
When you're holding a grudge resentment
over somebody.
It's it's only hurting you. It's not hurting
them. They might not even know you're mad
out. I'm in in
unforgiving towards them.
But forgiving
to to forgive is that key that we
have in our own prison cell that we
just can unlock it. As soon as we
say, Lord, I release them. Lord, I forgive
that person.
I'm not gonna hold this to them.
We see that example in Jesus.
Forgiving
someone will cost you.
It will cost you.
But not forgiving
will cost you your heart.
Forgiving is gonna cost
gonna take
humble
humble and grace,
but not forgiving. Will cost you you your
heart. I think that's what Jesus is point.
Here is to Peter and to us.
Jesus is saying that that if you can't
forgive others
you can't receive the father's forgiveness.
And the problems not with God,
God did everything in Christ in initiating
forgiveness and salvation for us.
Problems not with God, the problems with me
in you,
Romans 5 8 for God demonstrated his love
for us, what while we were still sinner
Christ died for us. He initiated everything.
He initiated
reconciliation.
And as we see in second Corinthians 5,
that god was in The father was in
in the son,
reconciling the world to himself, not counting
men's sins against them. Ace So from his
perspective, he's good.
But if we're not willing to forgive others,
have we
received that forgiveness?
Thirdly, why must we forgive? Well,
because unforgiveness makes you miserable.
Right?
It makes us miserable.
People who are holding a grudge are are
miserable on the inside.
Emotionally, their soul is just bound up.
With unforgiveness. Again, it's a prison,
unforgiveness is a prison.
And here's here's the beauty
If you believe that god's commands
are for your good,
that if he says to do something or
not to do some,
he has your best interest at heart.
And so if he commands us to forgive,
it's because it's for our own good.
Resentment
is
something that
is like a cousin to unforgiveness. When you
begin to resent somebody.
Happens in marriage all the time and friendships,
and the illustration came to to my mind
yesterday that resentment is like,
when you don't deal with your spouse, for
those of you that are married. If you
don't deal with wrongs that you do towards
each other. There's not a coming together, hey
I apologize.
I own that. Will you forgive me?
Yes, I forgive you. If that act does
not take place from the heart, then it's
like just putting a brick
between you and your spouse.
And at first,
1 little brick doesn't seem like a whole
lot.
But as the years go by,
brick brick brick brick brick brick brick, you
can't see each other anymore. You can't hear
each other anymore.
Resentment has made its way
into the relationship. Hebrews 12:15
says, see to it that no 1 falls
short of the grace of god god and
that no bitter root grows up to cause
trouble and def file
many.
The soil of a bitter heart is an
unforgiving heart.
And then a bitter root goes into
our
hearts,
bitterness kills marriages,
friendships, families,
sometimes even churches
that divide over some sort of bitterness and
resentment and can't get over
an issue with forgiveness.
So unforgiveness, bitterness needs to be d rooted.
And those of you that that have a
a lawn, like that you have to take
care of on a
weekly basis, water, etcetera.
Now if your lawn has dan lyon, and
you see those little yellow flowers or you
see some weeds.
When you take your lawn mower and you
go and mow the lawn,
those little yellow flowers are gone. And it's
like, oh, I don't see those anymore.
But that root didn't come out because what
happens 2 days later, boop, they come back
up again. You have to get some chemicals
or actual physically get down and d root
that weed.
It takes work to do that. When it
comes into a relationship that is that has
now a bitter root. In the heart... You
have to do the hard work.
You have to do the hard work to
get
the weed
of resentment and bitterness and unforgiveness out of
your heart.
You gotta go to Jesus.
And you gotta look to the cross. You
gotta look to what he's done and who
he is
and get that thing out of your heart
before it def files many.
Like the scripture said.
So let's talk a minute about what forgiving
others does not mean.
Because right now you're thinking
let's see talking about here.
You kidding me.
I'm supposed to forgive that.
I can't forget that. I still feel mad
at that person.
Okay? Well, feel forgiveness is not a feeling.
For sure and forgiveness as we're gonna see
is not forgetting.
But forgiveness, first of all, is not pretending.
When you you pretend that everything's okay when
your heart is still a mess towards each
other or towards somebody.
Forgiveness is what is required when there's no
good
explanation for what's gone on for what's happened.
Think about Jesus on the cross.
They're humiliating him, abusing him. He's been nailed
to a piece of wood,
and what was his response to that?
Father forgive them for they know not what
they do.
He went through our worst nightmares and his
response
was father forgive them. They don't know what
they're doing.
He didn't pretend
that something bad wasn't happening to him.
He wasn't pretending
And and sometimes we pretend in relationships, and
we we
excuse people's
bad behavior. We give them a pass.
That's not forgiveness.
That that's
toxic
relationships.
To forgive is not to be a door
at or anything like that. No, There's boundaries
in relationships. But forgiveness is the
the
the 1
antidote to all the bad problems that end
up happening in most relationships.
Forgiving is not forgetting.
Forgetting this side of eternity might not be
a reality.
For what hurt you and who hurt you.
It might not be a reality.
Now,
scripture teaches us that God has forgot our
sins.
As far as the east is from the
west,
he's taken our trans from us.
Now,
God, the reason God can forget our sins
and hear me on this
is our sin has become irrelevant to him.
Go read Romans 8 3.
What Jesus did in his flesh on the
cross is he did away with sin. It's
what the apostle Paul says.
Doesn't mean we can go on and sin
and behave. However we want to. That's not
the point.
But to god, the father, he sees us
He sees us clean. He sees us pure
because of what Jesus
did
for us.
Forgiveness is what's required when we can't forget.
That's important. And it's not a feeling.
If you try to conjure up a feeling
of forgiveness that might be impossible.
And then lastly on this,
forgiving is not the same as
reconciliation. It's not.
Reconciliation is when 2 people that were dis
disoriented, come back together,
There's apologies.
There's I'm sorry. I forgive you, and there's
a a
reconciliation that's happened. That's not always possible.
The person you need to forgive might have
already passed on to into eternity.
But you still can make a choice in
your heart to forgive but
reconciliation. It's not always possible. I had a
situation where someone had hurt me pretty bad.
And
a couple years went by, and I had
prayed and said Lord, I forgive this person
from my heart. I'd truly know knew from
my vantage point I had forgiven.
And
it was kinda up to this other person
if we were gonna have
reconciliation or not,
by their posture and their stance. But I
prayed a lot. Lord, I pray before I
die.
There could be reconciliation with this person.
Kept prayed that for 2 years. And
finally, I gotta
a note from this person said, hey,
I wanna reconcile.
And we met together.
We hugged
hugged it out, talked it out and have
been reconciled ever since.
So it's important. For... But it starts with
this willingness to forgive
when there's a difficult
relationships, both people have to say, I'm willing
to forgive.
The 1 who says no I'm holding on
to this.
They're gonna become the miserable person that gets
that bitter root.
So how do we forgive? This is important.
How do we forgive?
The first thing is if you've been offended,
hurt, release it to God.
Release it to God.
How do you do that?
Well,
when I look at this cross,
I think of
what the lord did
for you and me.
And I'm so thankful
I'm so thankful that my son was nailed
to the cross,
and it's become irrelevant
to the father.
So how do I release
the offense of others to the lord?
I take it to this same cross.
The same place where I am so joyful
glad where my son
is was nailed.
I say Lord.
You died for their sin.
You died for their offense to me.
And that's how you begin to release it.
The other way to release
people and and the the offense to God
is to pray for people.
Jesus said pray for those who per. You
bless your enemies.
Praying for the person that that has offended
you.
Past or present or future,
is
if you can pray blessings over that person's
life,
you can know you've forgiven them.
If you choose not, I can't pray for
them. You haven't forgiven them.
I can't pray for them. Well,
try.
Start.
Lord prayed for us while we were shouting
cr him, give us B ab, We were
in that crowd,
I was in that crowd.
And he prayed for me and you and
said father for gifts, Scott. He doesn't know
what he's doing.
He did that for us.
And then refused to take revenge.
That's how you forgive. God says Vengeance his
mind
says the Lord. It's his job. Not not
ours. We don't get to stand in the
the seed of judgment.
But when we are holding
unforgiveness,
it... We're trying to take revenge on that
person.
We're trying to get even if you will.
And it really all it does is make
us a mess and a wreck
on the inside.
And then thirdly,
refused to bring it up anymore.
Once you've chosen to forgive and and hopefully
there's been
reconciliation. But once you've chosen to forgive,
stop talking about it.
That's not easy for me to do,
because that's when I know. I'm still wrestling
through
what somebody did to me or what hurt
me or or or any given
situation.
How do we know that we've forgiven?
When it no longer
consumes my thoughts.
You've forgiven when it no longer consumes your
thoughts.
I no longer need to talk about it.
And I know this is convict.
I've been dealing with this all week long.
And been very convicted as I go through
this stuff myself. I've been on the
going through it,
myself, and it let it say Lord examine
my heart
Who am I holding
something against? I don't wanna do that. I
wanna be like you.
So here's where the rubber meets the road.
Who do I need to forgive?
Who do you need
to forgive?
And saw some spouses is elbow in each
other?
Just kidding. I didn't see that.
I think there's 3 tests
on how we know who do we need
to forgive.
And the first test is the blame test.
Who do I blame for my circumstances
and unhappiness?
In other words, my life would be so
much better if they hadn't done this to
me.
My life would be so much I'd be
so much more happy if that person hadn't
hurt me.
Who do we blame?
Who's coming to your mind
on that?
Then there's the bitterness test.
And the bitterness test is who am I
keeping score with.
You got your score sheets.
You did this to me. I did that
to you back and forth back and forth
back and forth.
The definition of love in first Corinthians 13
is love keeps no record of wrongs. It
doesn't keep score.
So
in your marriage and your family and your
friendships in this church
at the workplace,
Don't keep score. Just crumble that thing up,
take it to the cross.
And then the behavior test.
Who do I find myself reacting to?
Who
sets you off
easiest.
Proverbs says a fool vent is anger,
a wise person rest him.
We rest restrained that anger, and we learn
to forgive and not react to people, but
to respond,
in truth, humility
and in love.
We're taking comm today.
And in
I'm gonna read and after we get the
elements and sing a song, I'm gonna read
a passage
from first Corinthians where the apostle Paul is
in obstructing the church at cor about comm.
And after he talks about what the lord
did on the night of his betrayal in
the upper room with the disciples
Paul says examine yourselves
before you
take comm, examine
your heart.
And I can't think of a better
message to approach the comm table with to
get
transformation from eating the bread and drinking the
cup and remembering
what he's done for us,
that we forgive is we've been
forgiven.
In the Lord's prayer,
Forgive us our debts, forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who have sinned against
us.
I pray through the Lord's prayer on a
weekly basis.
And when I get to that portion
of forgive as... I've been forgiven
Say Lord, we you draw to my mind
anybody that I'm holding,
resentment to?
And if somebody comes into my mind, I
just think Lord, I forgive them. I release
them to you.
It's so cleansing to forgive.
Is so freeing.
We stand with me.
If you would, would you just take a
moment and close your eyes with me?
And just asked the Lord
to bring to mind
anyone that you are
holding some resentment towards
unforgiveness
that you're bitter with.
And if that happens,
Release them to the Lord.
Just say father,
I forgive them as you forgave me.
Father do you work in our hearts this
morning.
We wanna reflect your son.
Maybe whoever came to your mind,
you could be in a difficult marriage right
now. Me having difficulty.
It could be a person, some
coworker. I don't know.
But
I find this to be super helpful.
Picture
that person
as a little kid,
maybe even a little toddler.
Spouses I encourage you to get a picture
of your spouse when they were a little
boy or a little girl.
And when you get really ticked off,
pull out that little picture.
And you see that person who had hopes
and dreams of how life was gonna go
go for them,
and
it melts your heart because we have a
tendency to be way more forgiving to little
ones than we do adults.
Because I think we think they should know
better or whatever.
But we're gonna forgive as we have been
forgiven. The comm table is called the table
of
reconciliation.
Where Jesus
wrote bread and drank the cup
with his
his disciples, and he said do this and
remembrance of me and it's been a sacred
practice
of the church
ever since.
And as we do that today,
let's do that with with fresh
hearts,
that have been cleansed and and and pull
off the toxicity
of bitterness and unforgiveness in a
commitment
to be in people who forgive 1 another
well.
We're gonna take the come up and get
the elements
individually,
you got 2 tables up here. There's tables
in the back.
Come and get the bread in the cup
and take it back to your seat. We're
gonna sing a song and we'll take the
elements together as a family.
That are
free.
My god.
Amazing
Past promise.
Good
Here's
my whole
secure
are
my god
amazing.
Make
be
wherever
my
As we were
getting
the elements and in sing that song,
I remember
when I first was a believer, the age
of 25.
I had gone and spent a pretty good
chunk of change on a brand new 12
string guitar.
And
I left the guitar in its case
in the back seat of my car.
We had a little... I lived in this
little studio apartment.
And I came out in the morning
and
Somebody had smashed out the window,
stole my brand new 12 string guitar.
I was ticked.
And I said all kinds of bad things
and deputy
And the Lord was like, how much did
I forgive you? Like,
You forgave everything, Lord. And I forgave the
person who stole and hope they became a
really good guitar player.
Tried to pray a blessing over them.
You apostle Paul
says for I received from the lord,
that which I also delivered to you that
the Lord Jesus in the night in which
he was betrayed,
he took bread.
And when he had given thanks,
he broke it. And he said this is
my body,
which is for you. Do this and remembrance
of me. Let's take the bread.
In the same way, he took the cup
also after supper.
Saying this cup is the new
covenant
in my blood.
Do this as often as you drink it
and remembrance of me.
For as often as you eat this bread
and drink the cup,
you pro the Lord's death
until he comes.
Lord, thank you for the cup of the
new covenant.
Life and the spirit,
life and your love, life and your
and goodness,
your faithfulness.
As we take the cup of the new
covenant,
transform us
in our minds
and thought word indeed,
to be like You, Jesus.
Let's take the come.
Now, may the god of all grace,
may the God of peace,
the god of joy,
the God and father of our lord Jesus
Christ,
in comm with the holy spirit.
Bless you rich ritual and abundantly.
By opening your mind and your heart to
who you are in Jesus Christ. And because
of Jesus Christ.
And because of him, you can forgive the
unforgivable,
past present and future.
You can forgive betrayal.
You can forgive petty things, big things.
May we together as the church
demonstrate to
unforgiving world what forgiving 1 another
looks like.
And our marriages, our families, our schools,
our workplace.
And may,
we as individuals corporate together grow in our
disciples ship
to you, Lord Jesus to put into practice,
how you've instructed us to live
in the power
of your holy spirit.
We agree with you today, Lord Jesus that
you are savior
and that you are Lord.
And everybody said,
amen, amen.