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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four seventy seven. K. The Lord's here with

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the one, the only, the guy whose shirt

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says you need to let that shit go,

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and I'm taking that personally

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because I feel like I could hear your

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voice in my head when I look at

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your shirt. I know who you're talking to.

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John Brownstone.

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Wow.

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I do wonder how often you look at

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me and you're being polite and letting me

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vent and letting me get things off my

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chest and letting me just be who I

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am. And in your head, you're like, bitch,

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you need to let that shit

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go. Hey. You do it for me. I

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do it for you. So, you know, we

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But you're still thinking it. How do you

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know?

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You don't know what I'm doing. Oh, I

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know now.

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What does that got to do with, what

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we're doing here today? Not a damn thing.

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It never does. It never does. This week,

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we're

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answering a question nobody but me asked

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because I had a thought and then it

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went in a direction, and now here we

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are,

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which is can

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you, me, us,

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individuals

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be truly spontaneous

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in kink

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relationships, power exchange relationships? Is spontaneity

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with regards to kink

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possible?

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Yeah. Fascinating. I am. JB acts like that's

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the first time he's heard the topic. Do

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not be fooled. I did ask him if

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this is what he wanted to talk about

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this week. Anyway,

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welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday, and

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show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app.

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If the podcast app you're using has a

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rating or review system and you have not

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already done so, please rate or review assuming

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you like what you hear. If you don't

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like it, skip the review this week. Thanks.

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Anyway, you can also follow the show on

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Fet Life at loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram and technically threads at that handle

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I will forever motherfucking

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hate. Oh my god.

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It's loving d s and the number one.

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So it's at loving d s one. You

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watched all the veins in my neck stick

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out. You have high blood pressure.

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Well, that's one of many reasons.

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See? Let go of that shit.

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That happened yet.

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On blue sky @lovingpdsm.

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Whatever else comes after your handle on blue

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sky. I don't know. I don't care. Or

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on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm,

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where you can watch us live streaming the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes. Okay. Before we get into this

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week's topic,

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two announcements. One, a reminder,

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the twenty twenty six Dom Sub,

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Dynamics virtual summit registration

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is still open.

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The summit starts on next Monday, March 23,

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runs through the twenty sixth, is a 100%

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free. You can attend for

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free. Use the link in the places if

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you'd like to sign up, if you'd like

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to learn more. We have a session on

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dealing with conflict,

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in your your power change, kind of what

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to do. Okay. The conflict has happened. Now

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what? That kind of deal.

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There are,

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topics like actually figuring out a protocol that

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will work for you. That's from Evie.

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When your scene goes sideways, that's from Rara.

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I promise you one day a scene will

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go sideways. I assure you it will and

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a 100% will. I had a panic attack

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during one. It was crazy.

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Yeah.

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And a lot of other stuff. There's, a

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person there. I cannot think I can see

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their picture

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on this the site. Can't think of the

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person's name who's talking about kink and the

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law.

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We've got disability and kink. We've got, like,

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all kinds of stuff. All kinds of stuff.

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So

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check it out.

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If you get a free ticket, you'll have

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twenty four hours, to watch each session. You

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don't have to be there live to watch

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it. And when I say live, they're prerecorded

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sessions. Yeah.

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There will be an option to, like, buy

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a VIP pass. If you've got the budget

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for that, that'll give you goodies and extra

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time to watch. But

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the actual summit, that is actually free. You

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get actionable

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information. We were told as presenters,

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our presentation had to be actionable.

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So having a free ticket, there's value there.

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Okay? So just keep that in mind. Keep

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that in mind.

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But, yeah, link at the places.

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It's March 23 through the twenty sixth. Registration's

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going on now. Sign up. Sign up. Yay.

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Okay.

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Next announcement. This Friday,

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March, how do dates work? Twentieth?

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Is this Friday? I believe so. Today's the

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eighteenth day of recording,

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if I'm correct. I might not be. Anyway,

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Friday.

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It's our Friday night monthly livestream virtual munch

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kinky q and a thing that we do.

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Starts at 8PM eastern, goes till 10PM eastern.

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This is new for this year. I keep

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having to remind myself of what time it

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starts.

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So if you haven't memorized it and you're

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confused and you're remembering, you know, the time

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from years past, I get it. I can't

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even keep up. 8PM eastern, March 20.

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It'll be chatty. It'll be chaotic.

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I don't know what else else it'll be.

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Hopefully hopefully it'll be positive. I have a

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hair appointment to get my haircut on Thursday,

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and I'm with a new person I've never

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been to before.

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But I'm going for a vibe check because

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they are on the strands for trans list.

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That is a list that people who do

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hair and have salons can put themselves on

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to say, hey. It is safe for trans

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people to come see me.

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I'm you know, will be respectful and gender

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affirming and blah blah blah. And I'm going

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for the vibe check before the youngest attempts

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to go to get her hair done. So

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I don't know what this person will do

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to my hair yet.

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I might look a fool. I might just

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have it clipped back and not let any

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of you see that I have a new

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haircut.

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So that'll be a talking point. Did it

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come out badly? Does Kayla look

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crazier than usual?

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We'll all find out together. I don't know.

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So

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yeah.

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Anyway,

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Friday night, March twentieth, if I'm getting dates

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right. 8PM eastern. Ta da.

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Okay.

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So those are the announcements. Now on to

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the conversation that Okay. JB is always

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very

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there's a word I want, and I'm not

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coming up with the word that's gonna be

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tougher today if I can't think of words

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already.

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Generous, though, is one of the words is

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one way to describe it of, like, I'll

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have a random thought, and I'll be like,

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hey. You think we could talk about this?

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And he's like,

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sure. Why

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not?

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So can you be spontaneous

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and kink? So he let me tell you

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where this topic came from. Okay?

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And then we'll get into it. Let me

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tell you what

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what went on in my brain in the

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85 connections I made to get here.

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So I've been having a lot of thoughts

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intermittently recently

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about

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things I wish JB would just, like, do

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to me. Like, are all within our limits

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are things that we have done in the

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past, are ways of being that a 100%

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fit within

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our power exchange and our preferences and our

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limits, all that. Okay?

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And, obviously,

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the answer is I just need to sit

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down and have a conversation with them and

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go, hey. I've been craving some of this

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stuff. It'd be great if you could do

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it.

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Duh. First I'm hearing about any of this.

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Right. Because he here's my I'm trying to

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take you on a journey of the point.

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I am attempting to not give you all

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the side,

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adventures this train of thought went on. Okay?

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So that's where it started. And then I

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thought because I thought, yeah. I need to

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have that conversation. That's and then I went,

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oh,

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but

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no.

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Maybe

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maybe that's not how how would that work

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for JB? Because

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it will depend on my mindset. It will

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depend

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on how the day has been. It will

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depend on how many thoughts are already in

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my brain, and can I make the quick

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switch mid thought to, oh, we're doing this

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now?

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And would I

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can I you know, how does he narrow

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down which spontaneous thing to do to me?

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Because it will all depend on the vibe,

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and I don't expect him to be a

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mind reader. So how can

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I ask him, hey? Do these things

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and kinda just do

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them because there's no way he could just

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do them and be right enough of the

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time to make it worth the risk.

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So then it's like, okay. Well, then we'd

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have to have

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conversation and that would not be a problem.

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I'm fine with conversations,

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but then it's not like just happening. It's

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a little bit pre planned. And I was

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like, that's not awful, but it does take

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away some of the sometimes I just wanna

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be pinned the fuck down and I don't

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necessarily wanna have to ask explicitly to be

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pinned the fuck down.

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Necessarily

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wanna have to ask explicitly to be pinned

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the fuck down. But then I had the

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thought again of, but that's not fair to

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JB. He cannot read my mind. Mm-mm. He's

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gonna check-in because he needs to. That's responsible,

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you know,

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fuckery.

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So then I got to the end of

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is spontaneity

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an option?

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Now let's be clear. Spontaneity is always an

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option. Is it a good one? Is it

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a responsible one?

272
00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:36,340
Is is it gonna end well?

273
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,160
That's really the conversation. That's where all this

274
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,660
came from. Because, yeah, I've I've I've been

275
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,879
I've been having thoughts and feelings that I

276
00:09:44,879 --> 00:09:46,845
haven't mentioned to you. So I I I

277
00:09:46,845 --> 00:09:48,125
see we have to go sit down and

278
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:49,965
have a cup of coffee soon. Something like

279
00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:52,625
that. Something like that. Alright. Alright. So now

280
00:09:53,004 --> 00:09:55,264
before we get into it, because I definitely

281
00:09:55,644 --> 00:09:57,565
wanna know your thoughts on this. Okay. And

282
00:09:57,565 --> 00:09:59,325
I you know me. I have rambling thoughts

283
00:09:59,325 --> 00:10:01,245
too. For sure. I did do a quick

284
00:10:01,245 --> 00:10:04,539
check of, do I understand what spontaneity and

285
00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:07,440
spontaneous mean? I went to Merriam Webster. No.

286
00:10:08,059 --> 00:10:10,139
And they had a list of different because

287
00:10:10,139 --> 00:10:11,740
a word can mean many things and there's

288
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,340
nuance or whatever. But in terms of what

289
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:14,799
we're talking about, they had two

290
00:10:15,419 --> 00:10:16,639
that fits

291
00:10:17,294 --> 00:10:19,294
my way of thinking of what spontaneous was,

292
00:10:19,294 --> 00:10:22,195
so I used them. Proceeding from a natural

293
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:25,875
feeling or native tendency without external constraint

294
00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:29,634
and arising from a momentary

295
00:10:30,095 --> 00:10:30,595
impulse.

296
00:10:31,375 --> 00:10:32,754
So lack of constraints.

297
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:33,690
Yep.

298
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,690
Impulse. Impulsiveness.

299
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:40,970
So

300
00:10:41,509 --> 00:10:42,649
that's the question.

301
00:10:43,029 --> 00:10:43,529
Okay.

302
00:10:44,149 --> 00:10:44,889
And and

303
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:46,695
a pre caveat.

304
00:10:47,075 --> 00:10:49,235
Whatever we maybe come up with for ourselves,

305
00:10:49,235 --> 00:10:51,794
that's individual choices, and individuals can make their

306
00:10:51,794 --> 00:10:53,315
own choices and make their and you can

307
00:10:53,315 --> 00:10:56,115
answer this question for yourself in whatever way

308
00:10:56,115 --> 00:10:59,170
you need to. Okay? Just know that. We're

309
00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:02,929
not trying to answer, like, you know, kink

310
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,490
God on high. You know? Here's the decree.

311
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,649
Put it in stone or something. Like, if

312
00:11:07,649 --> 00:11:09,410
you're not the kinky Moses I mean, you

313
00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:10,610
could be if you want to. Your role

314
00:11:10,610 --> 00:11:11,970
play is not my role play, but your

315
00:11:11,970 --> 00:11:13,855
role role play is okay. But, you know

316
00:11:14,394 --> 00:11:14,894
anyway,

317
00:11:15,355 --> 00:11:16,815
what do you think of this?

318
00:11:17,995 --> 00:11:19,694
All of this? All of it.

319
00:11:20,235 --> 00:11:21,294
What are your thoughts?

320
00:11:24,394 --> 00:11:26,315
I don't know. It's not been scripted out,

321
00:11:26,315 --> 00:11:27,134
so I can't.

322
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:31,399
Are you fucking kidding me?

323
00:11:32,740 --> 00:11:33,720
She said submissively.

324
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,620
For anyone new, yeah. I promise I'm the

325
00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:40,120
submissive.

326
00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:42,120
So

327
00:11:42,554 --> 00:11:43,054
my

328
00:11:44,235 --> 00:11:45,914
thought is, at least for me as an

329
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,654
individual Mhmm. As much as I might

330
00:11:49,195 --> 00:11:51,534
kind of think or in a moment,

331
00:11:52,154 --> 00:11:54,154
be like, oh, if this spontaneously happen if

332
00:11:54,154 --> 00:11:56,315
this just happened right now, this would be

333
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:56,815
great.

334
00:11:57,519 --> 00:12:01,279
I know in real practice Mhmm. That can't

335
00:12:01,279 --> 00:12:01,779
happen

336
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,000
because it probably would not work at it

337
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,360
would probably not work as often as it

338
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,639
wouldn't work. Like, it would you know what

339
00:12:06,639 --> 00:12:08,000
I mean? Am I saying that right? I

340
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,480
I can I I believe I can say

341
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:11,539
this Mhmm?

342
00:12:12,134 --> 00:12:13,735
Because we have been together for a while

343
00:12:13,735 --> 00:12:15,274
now. Mhmm. K.

344
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:18,134
You do not have a spontaneous bone in

345
00:12:18,134 --> 00:12:18,795
your body.

346
00:12:19,175 --> 00:12:21,815
I I do cosplay it. I will come

347
00:12:21,815 --> 00:12:24,394
up, I will mention a thing that sounds

348
00:12:24,455 --> 00:12:26,955
spontaneous like, oh, we should go do this.

349
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:28,379
JB, it took him a few years to

350
00:12:28,379 --> 00:12:29,980
figure out that I will have been thinking

351
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:32,000
about it, planning, and figuring it out

352
00:12:32,779 --> 00:12:35,019
at minimum a day. Yeah. I just make

353
00:12:35,019 --> 00:12:36,480
it sound like I was spontaneous.

354
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:41,179
Yeah. There there there is no spontaneous bone

355
00:12:41,179 --> 00:12:42,000
in your body.

356
00:12:42,315 --> 00:12:45,115
No. I I wish there was. Mhmm. I

357
00:12:45,115 --> 00:12:47,294
have urges that I wish could just be

358
00:12:48,475 --> 00:12:49,615
handled spontaneously.

359
00:12:50,154 --> 00:12:52,154
K. You know, I'm like, this would be

360
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:54,075
a great time to just bend me over

361
00:12:54,075 --> 00:12:55,920
and do the thing. Now do the thing.

362
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,600
Here's the thing. Do the thing is what

363
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,740
I'm imagining it to be Mhmm. Not necessarily

364
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,440
what you might imagine it to be. You

365
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,340
know? True.

366
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,965
Which is why in general, we don't just

367
00:13:08,045 --> 00:13:10,285
tell a Dom they can just do anything

368
00:13:10,285 --> 00:13:12,524
because their idea of anything and our idea

369
00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:15,725
of anything will probably be completely different. But

370
00:13:15,725 --> 00:13:17,725
sometimes it'll just be just enough different. Like,

371
00:13:17,725 --> 00:13:19,184
if I told you, oh, yeah.

372
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:21,085
I have no problem if you, you know,

373
00:13:21,085 --> 00:13:22,139
we're were in the bedroom and you see

374
00:13:22,139 --> 00:13:23,419
me, if you just bend me over something

375
00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:25,839
and start beating my ass, go for it.

376
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:27,980
That will be the gist of it, and

377
00:13:27,980 --> 00:13:29,580
you'll be like, hot damn. And then you

378
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,679
will give me sensation and an experience

379
00:13:32,299 --> 00:13:34,000
that you like,

380
00:13:35,174 --> 00:13:36,475
but it might not be

381
00:13:37,174 --> 00:13:38,235
what I like.

382
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:47,014
OBS is being weird. For podcast listeners, this

383
00:13:47,014 --> 00:13:48,455
won't affect you, but I don't know what

384
00:13:48,455 --> 00:13:49,509
it's done to YouTube.

385
00:13:50,370 --> 00:13:50,870
So

386
00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:56,450
Apparently, we're back. Okay. Good. And I'm I

387
00:13:56,450 --> 00:13:59,169
don't know. Can't explain that one. Yeah. And

388
00:13:59,169 --> 00:14:00,850
my my worry is I've just lost my

389
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:01,750
train of thought.

390
00:14:03,215 --> 00:14:04,835
Oh, but my point is

391
00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:07,955
is that, you know, even if I say

392
00:14:08,254 --> 00:14:10,654
the words Mhmm. And you go, yes. I

393
00:14:10,654 --> 00:14:12,975
know what those words mean. The way you

394
00:14:12,975 --> 00:14:15,075
are going to do the thing

395
00:14:15,615 --> 00:14:16,674
will not necessarily

396
00:14:16,975 --> 00:14:18,240
mirror how I imagine

397
00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:23,440
Now we did have a conversation. It's not

398
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,100
about spontaneity, but it is about talking about

399
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,940
scenes and stuff. Right. We're modifying and updating

400
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,845
the, treats I earn when I actually remember

401
00:14:32,845 --> 00:14:34,225
to open the the

402
00:14:35,804 --> 00:14:36,384
app and

403
00:14:36,924 --> 00:14:39,644
actually remember the obedience app and actually remember

404
00:14:39,644 --> 00:14:41,644
to tick off the things I've done. Anyway,

405
00:14:41,644 --> 00:14:43,404
one of them is, you know, trying to

406
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,164
do some new behaviors and one was, like,

407
00:14:45,164 --> 00:14:46,764
if you do this thing all week, you

408
00:14:46,764 --> 00:14:48,529
get impact play at the end by the

409
00:14:48,529 --> 00:14:50,210
end of the week. And I made sure

410
00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:52,610
to negotiate impact play that's impact that I

411
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:53,830
enjoy, and it's a sensation

412
00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,029
I enjoy.

413
00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:58,470
And so that was an important

414
00:14:59,090 --> 00:14:59,590
clarifi

415
00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:02,554
bless you. That was an important clarification to

416
00:15:02,554 --> 00:15:03,695
make in negotiations.

417
00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:05,534
So you can see where

418
00:15:05,995 --> 00:15:07,934
if if we were to have the conversation

419
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,054
ahead of time

420
00:15:09,434 --> 00:15:11,294
about, hey. If I want you to spontaneously

421
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,690
do something,

422
00:15:14,129 --> 00:15:16,690
meaning spontaneous to j b, right, or spontaneous

423
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:18,210
to me, like, I did not know it

424
00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,389
was coming, only that it could be coming,

425
00:15:21,490 --> 00:15:24,129
this these are the exact parameters I think

426
00:15:24,129 --> 00:15:26,075
I could accept it in, and then it

427
00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:28,575
doesn't really feel spontaneous. Same one.

428
00:15:31,274 --> 00:15:33,434
So the easy answer for me is no.

429
00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:35,514
I don't think I can be spontaneous and

430
00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:36,014
kink.

431
00:15:36,315 --> 00:15:38,095
The general is spontaneity

432
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,779
something to recommend? Is it something that you

433
00:15:41,779 --> 00:15:43,700
know, whatever. But let's we know how I

434
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:45,379
am. Mhmm. Not a spontaneous bone on my

435
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:46,519
body. You,

436
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:50,419
not talking about how you deal with me,

437
00:15:50,419 --> 00:15:51,914
we know that you like,

438
00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:53,774
if there was another

439
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,714
blank space person who was not me, who

440
00:15:56,714 --> 00:15:59,134
did have a spontaneous bone in their body,

441
00:15:59,274 --> 00:16:00,735
that pretend person,

442
00:16:01,674 --> 00:16:03,754
what would j b do? I I have

443
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,799
it in me to be spontaneous, I believe.

444
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,480
What is spontaneous do you think what does

445
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,700
that look like to you?

446
00:16:09,799 --> 00:16:11,399
Give me an example. Like, you can use

447
00:16:11,399 --> 00:16:12,840
me as the example. We know it probably

448
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,200
won't ever happen, but you could use me

449
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,879
as example. What would that look like to

450
00:16:15,879 --> 00:16:16,379
you?

451
00:16:20,044 --> 00:16:21,504
Well, for example,

452
00:16:22,445 --> 00:16:23,684
heck with this. I'm going for a cup

453
00:16:23,684 --> 00:16:24,785
of coffee right now.

454
00:16:25,404 --> 00:16:27,004
No. That's not a good kind of

455
00:16:28,285 --> 00:16:30,524
see? See? This is why I I think

456
00:16:30,524 --> 00:16:32,428
that spontaneity and kink is hard because the

457
00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:32,599
idea you're having is complete one eighty from

458
00:16:32,599 --> 00:16:33,504
what I'm having. Okay. Right. But,

459
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,919
80 from what I'm having. Okay. Right. But

460
00:16:38,919 --> 00:16:40,440
if we want to do a thing, we

461
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:40,940
both

462
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,079
might enjoy it. Now now here's here's what

463
00:16:43,079 --> 00:16:43,980
I'll say about

464
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,379
my thought because I've been kinda

465
00:16:47,559 --> 00:16:49,740
noodling on this since you brought it up.

466
00:16:50,804 --> 00:16:51,465
Do I

467
00:16:51,805 --> 00:16:52,305
think

468
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,585
spontaneity is possible in kinked?

469
00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:56,184
Yes.

470
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:58,664
With a caveat.

471
00:16:58,965 --> 00:17:01,044
Mhmm. I don't think if you and I

472
00:17:01,044 --> 00:17:02,884
just walked into a dungeon, never knew each

473
00:17:02,884 --> 00:17:03,945
other, just met

474
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,779
Right. Okay. It'd be hard to be spontaneous.

475
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:11,799
I'd I'm here's the thing. I think part

476
00:17:11,799 --> 00:17:13,799
of what makes this an a kind of

477
00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:16,440
a no for almost anybody Mhmm. In many

478
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,125
situations, probably not all Right. Is that

479
00:17:19,684 --> 00:17:22,005
in order for kink to be risk aware

480
00:17:22,005 --> 00:17:24,025
and enthusiastic Mhmm. Enthusiastically

481
00:17:24,565 --> 00:17:26,744
consented to, there has to be a conversation

482
00:17:26,805 --> 00:17:28,964
that plans what the hell Mhmm. You're allowed

483
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,484
to do, I'm allowed to do, we're gonna

484
00:17:30,484 --> 00:17:33,365
do together. Now So you're working within a

485
00:17:33,365 --> 00:17:35,809
framework that doesn't allow for spontaneity anyway.

486
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:38,509
Well, and and here's what I what I

487
00:17:38,509 --> 00:17:41,230
what I believe Mhmm. Could be the caveat

488
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:41,809
to that.

489
00:17:43,710 --> 00:17:44,990
You know, how many years have we been

490
00:17:44,990 --> 00:17:46,669
together? Oh, don't make me do math, but

491
00:17:46,669 --> 00:17:47,585
it's over a decade.

492
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:48,784
Okay.

493
00:17:49,484 --> 00:17:49,984
So

494
00:17:52,525 --> 00:17:53,585
if I know

495
00:17:55,085 --> 00:17:57,265
because we have been together for so long

496
00:17:57,724 --> 00:17:58,625
and I know

497
00:17:59,724 --> 00:18:01,769
what you like what you don't like. Mhmm.

498
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:02,670
Okay.

499
00:18:04,890 --> 00:18:05,390
And,

500
00:18:06,089 --> 00:18:07,070
I just decided

501
00:18:09,369 --> 00:18:11,470
we're gonna do a scene right now. Mhmm.

502
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,769
And, I keep it within the parameters of

503
00:18:13,769 --> 00:18:15,070
everything we even negotiated.

504
00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:15,950
It's

505
00:18:17,585 --> 00:18:18,404
the timing

506
00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:21,025
Is what's spontaneous. Is what's spontaneous. But here's

507
00:18:21,025 --> 00:18:22,625
my question, because somebody asked in the live

508
00:18:22,625 --> 00:18:24,305
chat, what about the free use people? And

509
00:18:24,305 --> 00:18:25,825
this is my thought went to that and

510
00:18:25,825 --> 00:18:28,224
is going to this. K. Are you not

511
00:18:28,224 --> 00:18:30,480
standing back and assessing the situation? Have you

512
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,160
not thought, do we have time for this?

513
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,619
Is this an appropriate place?

514
00:18:34,079 --> 00:18:36,019
Does she look like she's gonna

515
00:18:37,279 --> 00:18:39,359
punch me if I do this or go

516
00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:42,845
with it? Right? Like, is there not an

517
00:18:43,224 --> 00:18:44,765
an minimum a momentary

518
00:18:45,144 --> 00:18:45,644
pause

519
00:18:46,105 --> 00:18:48,904
to take a a look around at the

520
00:18:48,904 --> 00:18:51,944
situation Mhmm. And decipher for yourself, is now

521
00:18:51,944 --> 00:18:53,704
the right time for this? And if now

522
00:18:53,704 --> 00:18:55,085
is not the right time,

523
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:57,759
when might the right time be? So free

524
00:18:57,759 --> 00:19:00,179
use, you've consented to when you want.

525
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,299
Do whatever the thing is we've consented to.

526
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:05,779
But when you want as a responsible

527
00:19:06,159 --> 00:19:06,659
kinkster

528
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:09,440
is not it's not always exactly when you

529
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,075
impulsively want it because because I'm sorry. What

530
00:19:12,075 --> 00:19:14,075
if you pretend you had a big boy

531
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:15,994
job again. Right? And you're on the drive

532
00:19:15,994 --> 00:19:17,515
home and you're like, oh, when I get

533
00:19:17,515 --> 00:19:19,835
home, I'm bending her over and fucking her.

534
00:19:19,835 --> 00:19:21,755
It's gonna be amazing. But when you walk

535
00:19:21,755 --> 00:19:22,575
in the door,

536
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:25,375
I am being violently ill. Well, clearly,

537
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,480
that idea has to be backburned, so the

538
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:28,980
spontaneity

539
00:19:29,359 --> 00:19:30,420
of it is gone

540
00:19:30,799 --> 00:19:33,279
because context clues tell you this is not

541
00:19:33,279 --> 00:19:34,259
the right time.

542
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:35,940
True. So therefore,

543
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:36,900
if

544
00:19:37,279 --> 00:19:38,580
the first stage

545
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,105
of doing what you want because you've got

546
00:19:41,105 --> 00:19:43,105
the permission and you've got the framework because

547
00:19:43,105 --> 00:19:45,585
of the negotiated boundaries. If the first step

548
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:48,085
is to go, is this a good time?

549
00:19:48,705 --> 00:19:50,224
And you have to put more than about

550
00:19:50,224 --> 00:19:52,945
two seconds of thought into it. And with

551
00:19:52,945 --> 00:19:55,105
me, a 100% you do. You better have

552
00:19:55,105 --> 00:19:58,619
your aluminum tinfoil hat on, your weather vane

553
00:19:58,619 --> 00:20:00,319
up, not in a stormy day,

554
00:20:00,619 --> 00:20:03,200
and be, like, testing the winds. Right?

555
00:20:04,859 --> 00:20:06,559
Is that truly spawn spontaneous?

556
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:08,559
Is that possible?

557
00:20:11,534 --> 00:20:13,375
Kinda muddies the water, doesn't it? No. It's

558
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,775
not a simple thing. No. I think that

559
00:20:15,775 --> 00:20:18,335
there are people who live fairly, impulsively, and

560
00:20:18,335 --> 00:20:20,255
spontaneously who are like, yes. We can a

561
00:20:20,255 --> 00:20:23,794
100% do this. And I could be pedantic

562
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:26,100
and be like, but what about that pause?

563
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,360
Blah blah blah. I'm not wait. Wait. Wait.

564
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,820
I'm more thinking of it in in broader

565
00:20:30,820 --> 00:20:33,380
terms. Again, I think individuals can decide for

566
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:33,880
themselves.

567
00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:36,519
Mhmm. But if I'm gonna be like

568
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:38,654
little miss know and all about

569
00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:41,755
it, I'm gonna these are the things that

570
00:20:41,755 --> 00:20:42,575
come to mind.

571
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:46,075
Because a responsible top or dom is gonna

572
00:20:46,075 --> 00:20:47,215
assess the situation

573
00:20:47,595 --> 00:20:48,095
first.

574
00:20:48,475 --> 00:20:50,154
Well You have to. Don't you? You have

575
00:20:50,154 --> 00:20:52,299
to. I mean, even even if there's free

576
00:20:52,299 --> 00:20:54,799
use Mhmm. You have to assess the situation.

577
00:20:57,179 --> 00:20:58,859
That's a that's a given. That is my

578
00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:00,960
point. That is my point. Yeah. Yeah.

579
00:21:03,704 --> 00:21:05,224
So is it possible

580
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,284
To truly be spontaneous Mhmm.

581
00:21:09,625 --> 00:21:12,184
In the way it's defined? Like because others

582
00:21:12,345 --> 00:21:13,384
we can we can,

583
00:21:14,345 --> 00:21:16,444
semantics. Right? I I have thoughts about

584
00:21:16,825 --> 00:21:18,365
a way to feel spontaneous

585
00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:20,769
even if you meet the definition.

586
00:21:25,309 --> 00:21:28,049
Certain aspects, I think, can. Mhmm.

587
00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:29,490
And

588
00:21:32,065 --> 00:21:34,325
what I'm going I'm and

589
00:21:34,705 --> 00:21:35,365
I'm gonna

590
00:21:35,744 --> 00:21:36,484
use this

591
00:21:37,265 --> 00:21:38,884
based on what I have seen

592
00:21:39,424 --> 00:21:41,924
or heard other people talk about. Mhmm.

593
00:21:42,305 --> 00:21:44,625
It's not something we have done ourselves, but,

594
00:21:45,984 --> 00:21:46,484
CNC.

595
00:21:47,369 --> 00:21:49,549
Consensual nonconsent. Yeah. Okay.

596
00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:53,789
Say someone may have a

597
00:21:55,849 --> 00:21:56,910
kidnapping fantasy.

598
00:21:57,210 --> 00:21:58,430
Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay.

599
00:22:00,464 --> 00:22:02,804
Now, obviously, with that you have to

600
00:22:03,664 --> 00:22:06,944
negotiate. A 100%. A 100%. Right? That's a

601
00:22:06,944 --> 00:22:07,444
given.

602
00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:09,365
But then,

603
00:22:09,664 --> 00:22:10,484
what if

604
00:22:11,184 --> 00:22:13,845
in all this you you negotiated this? Okay.

605
00:22:14,144 --> 00:22:15,684
This is how we're going to

606
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:18,420
capture you. This is what we're going to

607
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:19,859
do and blah blah blah blah. So when

608
00:22:19,859 --> 00:22:21,940
this happens, you're not actually making it happen.

609
00:22:21,940 --> 00:22:23,320
Right. Right? But then

610
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:26,279
what if then the

611
00:22:26,580 --> 00:22:27,080
spontaneity

612
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:30,500
comes in with not knowing when it's going

613
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:32,265
to happen? Yes. That goes to what Rara

614
00:22:32,265 --> 00:22:33,545
was saying in the live chat, which is

615
00:22:33,545 --> 00:22:35,945
for the sub slash bottom, it's spontaneous. But

616
00:22:35,945 --> 00:22:37,545
for the dom slash top, it's in no

617
00:22:37,545 --> 00:22:40,184
way spontaneous because you have planned. Right. And

618
00:22:40,184 --> 00:22:41,545
here's the other thing I I think you

619
00:22:41,545 --> 00:22:43,164
get around where things can feel

620
00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:46,220
my brain keeps wanting to say spontaneity when

621
00:22:46,220 --> 00:22:49,180
I mean spontaneous. It can feel spontaneous, and

622
00:22:49,180 --> 00:22:51,660
it genuinely isn't. But my god, kinksters, we

623
00:22:51,660 --> 00:22:53,660
mind fuck ourselves all the time. Right? I

624
00:22:53,660 --> 00:22:54,880
mean, come on.

625
00:22:55,259 --> 00:22:57,099
I know that outside of the walls of

626
00:22:57,099 --> 00:22:57,839
our relationship,

627
00:22:58,424 --> 00:22:59,965
I'm, like, an independent

628
00:23:01,065 --> 00:23:02,904
fucking bitch from hell. And to you, I

629
00:23:02,904 --> 00:23:04,745
am mostly a sweetheart and won't do whatever

630
00:23:04,745 --> 00:23:07,065
you're talking to. Like, we we live within

631
00:23:07,065 --> 00:23:08,745
frameworks. Right? You know, it's funny. Now you

632
00:23:08,745 --> 00:23:10,845
mentioned that I had a dream last night

633
00:23:10,970 --> 00:23:12,890
that I had to explain to somebody why

634
00:23:12,890 --> 00:23:14,910
I call you the Scorpio bitch from hell.

635
00:23:15,130 --> 00:23:17,210
Oh, they couldn't have possibly ever been around

636
00:23:17,210 --> 00:23:17,950
me then.

637
00:23:20,329 --> 00:23:22,250
No. They couldn't. That would in that dream,

638
00:23:22,250 --> 00:23:24,109
they had never been around me.

639
00:23:24,730 --> 00:23:26,184
Oops. Sorry. I tapped the mic.

640
00:23:27,044 --> 00:23:29,325
So here's what I'm thinking. I think Okay.

641
00:23:29,684 --> 00:23:30,184
Spontaneity

642
00:23:30,484 --> 00:23:31,224
or the

643
00:23:31,924 --> 00:23:33,224
perception of spontaneity

644
00:23:33,605 --> 00:23:35,865
is possible. Mhmm. It is

645
00:23:36,244 --> 00:23:38,724
within it's frameworks within frameworks. So you've already

646
00:23:38,724 --> 00:23:41,299
got the negotiated here's what we do, here's

647
00:23:41,299 --> 00:23:42,900
how we are, here's what I like, here's

648
00:23:42,900 --> 00:23:44,820
what you like, here are the limits. Like,

649
00:23:44,820 --> 00:23:46,740
the stuff you figure out, you do the

650
00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:48,620
big conversations in the beginning, but you fig

651
00:23:48,740 --> 00:23:50,340
you add to it and figure it out

652
00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:51,080
and and

653
00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:53,940
modify it and perfect it and, you know,

654
00:23:53,940 --> 00:23:56,434
adjust it as you go through the relationship.

655
00:23:57,615 --> 00:23:58,115
Then

656
00:23:58,494 --> 00:23:59,714
if there's a conversation

657
00:24:00,255 --> 00:24:00,755
about,

658
00:24:01,295 --> 00:24:03,934
hey. Could could we add spontaneity to this?

659
00:24:03,934 --> 00:24:05,375
How would this work? What might that look

660
00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:05,875
like?

661
00:24:06,174 --> 00:24:07,934
Then you're dealing with a framework within the

662
00:24:07,934 --> 00:24:08,914
framework of,

663
00:24:09,295 --> 00:24:09,795
okay.

664
00:24:10,319 --> 00:24:12,240
Me as the sub who is an anxious

665
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,339
bitch from hell, whose mind is never

666
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,720
on the thing I'm doing. It's 10 miles

667
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:18,659
away on five other things.

668
00:24:19,559 --> 00:24:20,059
Who

669
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:21,460
takes

670
00:24:21,839 --> 00:24:23,940
too much of the world way too literally.

671
00:24:24,079 --> 00:24:26,075
Like, there's just too much going on.

672
00:24:26,694 --> 00:24:29,115
I would need to to have a conversation

673
00:24:29,414 --> 00:24:31,974
with you that says, hey. I am down

674
00:24:31,974 --> 00:24:32,474
for

675
00:24:32,934 --> 00:24:34,315
the appearance of spontaneity.

676
00:24:35,494 --> 00:24:37,015
Here is what I think I would be

677
00:24:37,015 --> 00:24:38,940
okay with. Here are here

678
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:40,220
are, you know,

679
00:24:40,599 --> 00:24:42,059
maybe let's use

680
00:24:45,559 --> 00:24:46,680
oh my god. I can't think of the

681
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,960
word. Let's use cues like words or a

682
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,019
check-in question

683
00:24:51,559 --> 00:24:53,924
to test my headspace and can I get

684
00:24:54,005 --> 00:24:55,465
where you need me to be?

685
00:24:55,845 --> 00:24:58,664
And here's the maybe the list of things

686
00:24:58,725 --> 00:25:00,244
that if they happen to me at a

687
00:25:00,244 --> 00:25:01,465
time I'm not necessarily

688
00:25:01,924 --> 00:25:03,785
expecting them, it'll probably

689
00:25:04,164 --> 00:25:04,985
be okay.

690
00:25:05,684 --> 00:25:06,965
And then we go back to the thing

691
00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:09,000
where it looks spontaneous for me, but it

692
00:25:09,380 --> 00:25:12,259
clearly is less spontaneous for you. Not because

693
00:25:12,259 --> 00:25:13,720
you might not make

694
00:25:14,099 --> 00:25:16,660
not a split second decision, but a quick

695
00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:17,160
decision

696
00:25:17,539 --> 00:25:20,819
where you've scanned the room, you've said asked

697
00:25:20,819 --> 00:25:22,355
me the, like, question

698
00:25:22,974 --> 00:25:24,575
or the done the check-in to see where

699
00:25:24,575 --> 00:25:26,015
my head's at, and then you're like, okay.

700
00:25:26,015 --> 00:25:28,575
I can proceed. And then you're pulling from

701
00:25:28,575 --> 00:25:29,875
a drop down menu

702
00:25:30,414 --> 00:25:32,015
of options. You know what I mean? Yeah.

703
00:25:32,015 --> 00:25:34,035
I think it can be built in,

704
00:25:34,670 --> 00:25:36,269
but then once you build it in, you

705
00:25:36,269 --> 00:25:37,569
have to kind of go,

706
00:25:37,950 --> 00:25:39,869
I'm not gonna be too precious about the

707
00:25:39,869 --> 00:25:40,849
word spontaneous

708
00:25:41,309 --> 00:25:43,230
because this is At that point then it's

709
00:25:43,230 --> 00:25:45,390
not Right. And I have a feeling that

710
00:25:45,390 --> 00:25:47,865
many, not all, obviously, like people who do

711
00:25:48,265 --> 00:25:49,464
and for use and stuff like that, because

712
00:25:49,464 --> 00:25:51,704
we've done that episode. We have a a

713
00:25:51,704 --> 00:25:52,845
type of for use.

714
00:25:53,384 --> 00:25:55,065
That's a little bit of what you're doing

715
00:25:55,065 --> 00:25:55,565
is

716
00:25:55,865 --> 00:25:57,625
these are the things I can allow. Here

717
00:25:57,625 --> 00:25:59,144
are the things you have permission for ahead

718
00:25:59,144 --> 00:26:00,505
of time. You don't have to ask me.

719
00:26:00,505 --> 00:26:02,105
Right. Right. Here are the you know, all

720
00:26:02,184 --> 00:26:04,839
it's you you've built it in. Like, this

721
00:26:04,839 --> 00:26:07,160
box sorry, podcast listeners. You can't see it.

722
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,940
This box is the relationship.

723
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,279
Mhmm. This smaller box in the inside is

724
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,580
this type of situation.

725
00:26:14,599 --> 00:26:16,515
Yeah. But, again, if we're gonna

726
00:26:17,954 --> 00:26:19,494
be, you know, no. We don't

727
00:26:19,795 --> 00:26:20,615
like I

728
00:26:20,994 --> 00:26:21,494
was

729
00:26:21,875 --> 00:26:23,654
twenty, thirty, forty years ago.

730
00:26:24,595 --> 00:26:25,734
It's not technically

731
00:26:26,035 --> 00:26:26,535
spontaneity.

732
00:26:26,914 --> 00:26:28,454
Yeah. And if you

733
00:26:28,914 --> 00:26:31,075
my concern for many, maybe not all, but

734
00:26:31,075 --> 00:26:33,950
many people who try to be actually spontaneous,

735
00:26:35,210 --> 00:26:37,450
impulsively choose Mhmm. Just do it in the

736
00:26:37,450 --> 00:26:40,410
moment. Just don't think. Just act. Oh, we've

737
00:26:40,410 --> 00:26:42,750
got too many possibilities for consent violations

738
00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:44,029
and and

739
00:26:44,490 --> 00:26:47,230
overstepping limits and it being the wrong time.

740
00:26:47,289 --> 00:26:48,269
And Mhmm.

741
00:26:48,845 --> 00:26:49,984
You know, I

742
00:26:50,445 --> 00:26:52,205
I'm not gonna be the person who goes,

743
00:26:52,205 --> 00:26:53,424
oh, yeah. Be spontaneous.

744
00:26:53,805 --> 00:26:55,644
Just just do the thing. You you know,

745
00:26:55,644 --> 00:26:57,244
you saw your sub there and they were

746
00:26:57,244 --> 00:26:59,505
just looking all good. Just do the thing.

747
00:27:03,910 --> 00:27:05,750
Be careful of that because it is easy

748
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:07,829
to fuck it up. Yeah. It's why I

749
00:27:07,829 --> 00:27:09,450
didn't wanna come to you and go, okay.

750
00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:11,269
I'm having these parts of my brain that

751
00:27:11,269 --> 00:27:12,789
are like, I could really use this treatment

752
00:27:12,789 --> 00:27:15,025
and this treatment this treatment, and I kinda

753
00:27:15,025 --> 00:27:16,225
don't wanna have to plan for it. And

754
00:27:16,225 --> 00:27:17,744
I sometimes I just need it to fucking

755
00:27:17,744 --> 00:27:19,045
happen. That would be great.

756
00:27:19,345 --> 00:27:21,424
But, also, it's not fair to you to

757
00:27:21,424 --> 00:27:23,424
have to try to decipher and guess where

758
00:27:23,424 --> 00:27:25,440
the hell my mind is and what I

759
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:27,859
will and won't accept in a given moment.

760
00:27:27,919 --> 00:27:29,460
Yeah. That's not fair.

761
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,740
You know?

762
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,339
So I answered my own question for myself

763
00:27:34,639 --> 00:27:37,599
before we even started of I cannot be

764
00:27:37,599 --> 00:27:39,404
spontaneous. No. You know. No. No.

765
00:27:43,644 --> 00:27:45,664
No. Now if we were to figure out

766
00:27:46,445 --> 00:27:46,945
that,

767
00:27:47,884 --> 00:27:48,865
air quote, spontaneous

768
00:27:49,164 --> 00:27:49,664
framework,

769
00:27:50,445 --> 00:27:52,865
is that something that you would want

770
00:27:53,244 --> 00:27:53,910
with me or

771
00:28:02,230 --> 00:28:03,849
to a certain extent, yeah.

772
00:28:04,789 --> 00:28:05,289
Yeah.

773
00:28:06,095 --> 00:28:08,174
Because I feel like it it allows more

774
00:28:08,174 --> 00:28:09,394
room for some play.

775
00:28:10,255 --> 00:28:12,335
Play not play, because all of it can

776
00:28:12,335 --> 00:28:14,494
be play, but playfulness and a sort of,

777
00:28:14,654 --> 00:28:16,994
oh, the moment feels right. Mhmm.

778
00:28:18,255 --> 00:28:20,880
Let's, you know Yeah. Let's pretend that we

779
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:23,039
can do whatever we want. I you know,

780
00:28:23,039 --> 00:28:24,559
that that's one of those things when all

781
00:28:24,559 --> 00:28:25,059
the,

782
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,480
I would say it. All all the cards

783
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:29,200
come together

784
00:28:29,519 --> 00:28:31,140
Mhmm. So to speak. You know, everything's

785
00:28:31,519 --> 00:28:34,500
the the the planets are in alignment. Right.

786
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:35,700
Which

787
00:28:36,065 --> 00:28:37,744
You know, the planets are in alignment. Come

788
00:28:37,744 --> 00:28:39,025
on. Let's grab the toy back and go

789
00:28:39,025 --> 00:28:40,724
to the dungeon now. Sure. Yeah.

790
00:28:41,105 --> 00:28:42,484
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.

791
00:28:42,944 --> 00:28:44,785
And I think that's where the spontaneity ends

792
00:28:44,785 --> 00:28:46,865
though. Because then you're like, okay. Here are

793
00:28:46,865 --> 00:28:49,025
the toys, the limits, where and I know

794
00:28:49,025 --> 00:28:51,029
you. Where's your head space at? What's good?

795
00:28:51,029 --> 00:28:53,110
What feels good? What are you know? Yeah.

796
00:28:53,110 --> 00:28:54,630
Or I or you're gonna start and I'm

797
00:28:54,630 --> 00:28:56,789
going, nope. Like, you went to pinch nipples

798
00:28:56,789 --> 00:28:58,256
this morning, and I went, n n n

799
00:28:58,256 --> 00:28:58,630
n n n n n n n n

800
00:28:58,630 --> 00:28:59,610
n n n n n n n.

801
00:29:00,070 --> 00:29:01,910
The brain was like, you don't that's you

802
00:29:01,910 --> 00:29:03,684
don't want that. You don't want that this

803
00:29:03,684 --> 00:29:04,825
morning. Mhmm.

804
00:29:05,525 --> 00:29:07,605
I never saw somebody back away so fast

805
00:29:07,605 --> 00:29:09,785
as you did that right in that moment.

806
00:29:11,045 --> 00:29:12,325
Well and, you know, I was thinking about

807
00:29:12,325 --> 00:29:13,765
it because so I this has nothing to

808
00:29:13,765 --> 00:29:16,005
do with spontaneity. And maybe it does because

809
00:29:16,005 --> 00:29:16,744
you spontaneously

810
00:29:17,045 --> 00:29:19,140
reached out and went, oh, nipples, And, like,

811
00:29:19,140 --> 00:29:21,779
we're doing a thing. Right. Hoping the 16

812
00:29:21,779 --> 00:29:22,820
year old is not on the other side

813
00:29:22,820 --> 00:29:23,799
of that wall. Anyway

814
00:29:25,140 --> 00:29:25,640
anyway,

815
00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:29,640
so that is a a form of spontaneity

816
00:29:30,259 --> 00:29:31,779
that you then had to be okay with

817
00:29:31,779 --> 00:29:34,754
me going, no. Thank you. But the And

818
00:29:34,754 --> 00:29:36,355
then what about all the times I walk

819
00:29:36,355 --> 00:29:37,494
by you and I just

820
00:29:37,954 --> 00:29:39,554
smack you? You know what, though? You have

821
00:29:39,554 --> 00:29:41,154
made that a habit, and now I expect

822
00:29:41,154 --> 00:29:42,595
it. And I get a little annoyed when

823
00:29:42,595 --> 00:29:43,734
I do not get it.

824
00:29:44,595 --> 00:29:46,274
I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not the

825
00:29:46,274 --> 00:29:47,390
one in charge here.

826
00:29:48,809 --> 00:29:51,049
But you do something often enough. Is it

827
00:29:51,049 --> 00:29:53,210
spontaneous, or is it now just a habit

828
00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:54,910
and a pattern and a routine?

829
00:29:55,609 --> 00:29:57,130
And you know how I feel about routines.

830
00:29:57,130 --> 00:29:58,269
Don't fuck those up.

831
00:29:59,954 --> 00:30:00,454
And

832
00:30:00,914 --> 00:30:01,634
yet spontaneously

833
00:30:02,595 --> 00:30:04,615
see, you can get real granular with this.

834
00:30:04,674 --> 00:30:05,174
Spontaneously,

835
00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:06,775
you will

836
00:30:07,154 --> 00:30:07,974
do a different,

837
00:30:08,275 --> 00:30:08,775
intensity.

838
00:30:09,394 --> 00:30:10,835
The last time you walked by me and

839
00:30:10,835 --> 00:30:12,515
smacked my ass, that shit hurt. I was

840
00:30:12,515 --> 00:30:14,509
like, are you mad at me?

841
00:30:15,289 --> 00:30:17,289
I wasn't mad about it, but I was

842
00:30:17,289 --> 00:30:18,430
I was surprised.

843
00:30:18,890 --> 00:30:20,970
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's all, you know,

844
00:30:20,970 --> 00:30:22,190
there's the the

845
00:30:23,690 --> 00:30:25,769
walk by as he smack, you know, flat

846
00:30:25,769 --> 00:30:27,585
of your hand, and then the one that

847
00:30:27,585 --> 00:30:29,025
hurts, you come with the back of your

848
00:30:29,025 --> 00:30:30,304
hand with your fingers. I know. I'm so

849
00:30:30,304 --> 00:30:32,404
glad you don't wear rings. Oh my god.

850
00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:35,125
So

851
00:30:35,424 --> 00:30:37,265
that's just proof that there is room for

852
00:30:37,265 --> 00:30:39,744
some spontaneity. I think it does come down

853
00:30:39,744 --> 00:30:42,190
to how long you've been together, how well

854
00:30:42,190 --> 00:30:43,250
you know one another.

855
00:30:44,430 --> 00:30:47,070
I I think The comfort level. You can

856
00:30:47,070 --> 00:30:47,970
definitely be

857
00:30:48,430 --> 00:30:48,930
spontaneous

858
00:30:49,470 --> 00:30:51,730
in the time. Mhmm. Okay.

859
00:30:52,990 --> 00:30:53,490
And

860
00:30:55,515 --> 00:30:56,815
I think with the what.

861
00:30:57,595 --> 00:30:58,335
Mhmm. Mhmm.

862
00:30:59,115 --> 00:31:02,095
You know, because we have our, you know,

863
00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:05,434
for us, the toys that we know. And

864
00:31:05,434 --> 00:31:07,434
I know what I can cycle through. Sure.

865
00:31:07,434 --> 00:31:09,035
And how I can play them with you.

866
00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:11,170
And how I can even work in some

867
00:31:11,170 --> 00:31:13,090
of the things that you don't technically like,

868
00:31:13,090 --> 00:31:15,410
but you know Mhmm. We we can squeeze

869
00:31:15,410 --> 00:31:18,690
it in. So, you know, they're they're kind

870
00:31:18,690 --> 00:31:21,009
of lies a spontaneity, you know. You there

871
00:31:21,009 --> 00:31:22,309
have been times I have

872
00:31:23,730 --> 00:31:25,650
gone into the bedroom and set things out

873
00:31:25,650 --> 00:31:27,494
on the bed for you. Sure. Yeah. And

874
00:31:27,494 --> 00:31:29,815
and you see these items, like, oh, yeah.

875
00:31:29,815 --> 00:31:32,795
What's he got planned? Mhmm. You know? But

876
00:31:33,335 --> 00:31:35,195
then there's a time, you know,

877
00:31:36,295 --> 00:31:38,615
I'll just grab something and Yeah. I'll be

878
00:31:38,615 --> 00:31:41,095
bent over the bed waiting. And you're like,

879
00:31:41,095 --> 00:31:41,914
don't move.

880
00:31:42,289 --> 00:31:44,529
Not a problem. Wasn't going anywhere. Yeah. And

881
00:31:44,529 --> 00:31:46,609
next thing I know yeah. So in those

882
00:31:46,609 --> 00:31:47,990
moments, are you

883
00:31:48,609 --> 00:31:50,210
is that a spontaneous thing of, like, I've

884
00:31:50,210 --> 00:31:51,569
got an urge. I wanna go get this

885
00:31:51,569 --> 00:31:53,329
toy, that toy. I wanna do instead of

886
00:31:53,329 --> 00:31:55,169
whatever you were gonna do. You know, it

887
00:31:55,409 --> 00:31:55,909
yeah.

888
00:31:56,369 --> 00:31:57,269
There are

889
00:31:58,345 --> 00:31:59,085
many times

890
00:31:59,384 --> 00:31:59,884
I'm

891
00:32:00,264 --> 00:32:03,144
my brain's spinning. Sure. You know, thinking about,

892
00:32:03,144 --> 00:32:04,764
you know, things we can do.

893
00:32:05,144 --> 00:32:07,005
And, you know, times it's just like,

894
00:32:08,184 --> 00:32:08,684
yeah.

895
00:32:11,279 --> 00:32:13,120
I have an urge, and I'm gonna just

896
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,140
do it. Mhmm. And, you know, I think

897
00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:16,820
that to me

898
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,080
many, most I don't like to say all,

899
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:22,320
nothing's universal. But I think in many cases,

900
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,644
that is where the spontaneity lies is in

901
00:32:25,605 --> 00:32:27,705
the having knowing each other's

902
00:32:28,404 --> 00:32:31,945
boundaries, limits, wants Mhmm. Needs, likes, dislikes

903
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:33,144
well enough

904
00:32:33,765 --> 00:32:36,744
that you were you stay within that framework.

905
00:32:36,964 --> 00:32:37,464
So,

906
00:32:37,950 --> 00:32:39,950
you know, the me bending over the bed

907
00:32:39,950 --> 00:32:41,230
before we go to bed, that's not spontaneous.

908
00:32:41,230 --> 00:32:42,669
That is planned. That is a routine. That

909
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:43,809
is how we do things.

910
00:32:44,349 --> 00:32:45,409
What you do

911
00:32:45,789 --> 00:32:48,429
in that moment with that moment is where

912
00:32:48,429 --> 00:32:50,750
then you can be spontaneous and just make

913
00:32:50,750 --> 00:32:53,164
a decision. Mhmm. Now it is then, as

914
00:32:53,164 --> 00:32:54,465
always, my responsibility

915
00:32:55,644 --> 00:32:57,404
on the other side to let you know

916
00:32:57,404 --> 00:32:59,984
immediately if that was not a good choice.

917
00:33:00,045 --> 00:33:02,545
Exactly. And and, you know, that that's

918
00:33:02,845 --> 00:33:04,049
something too, you know.

919
00:33:04,610 --> 00:33:06,789
Yeah. You can jump into the,

920
00:33:07,170 --> 00:33:09,350
you know, spontaneity, but it does not

921
00:33:09,970 --> 00:33:13,009
relieve you of, you know, your duties of,

922
00:33:13,490 --> 00:33:15,170
you know, taking care of your toys and

923
00:33:16,224 --> 00:33:18,625
But and also being very comfortable with being

924
00:33:18,625 --> 00:33:20,544
told, you know, hearing a safe word or

925
00:33:20,544 --> 00:33:23,585
read Right. Or stop or whatever. Like, knowing

926
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:26,304
that this spontaneous idea you had might be

927
00:33:26,304 --> 00:33:27,524
rejected immediately.

928
00:33:27,904 --> 00:33:28,404
Now,

929
00:33:29,009 --> 00:33:29,750
here's the

930
00:33:30,369 --> 00:33:31,430
thing that I

931
00:33:31,890 --> 00:33:34,930
try to believe that does not affect me.

932
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:37,430
K. And yet, in all of this

933
00:33:39,809 --> 00:33:42,995
thought meandering I've been doing, it still does.

934
00:33:42,995 --> 00:33:44,055
Here's the thing.

935
00:33:45,555 --> 00:33:46,055
I

936
00:33:46,355 --> 00:33:48,914
want to for you to be to the

937
00:33:48,914 --> 00:33:52,115
extent you wanna be Mhmm. More spontaneous within

938
00:33:52,115 --> 00:33:54,035
some sort of designated framework, like we're talking

939
00:33:54,035 --> 00:33:56,515
about. Pre negotiate. Here are some things. Here's

940
00:33:56,515 --> 00:33:57,975
my thoughts. Blah blah blah.

941
00:33:58,539 --> 00:33:59,279
Excuse me.

942
00:33:59,819 --> 00:34:01,599
I want that. Mhmm.

943
00:34:01,900 --> 00:34:04,299
And and yet I know myself well enough

944
00:34:04,299 --> 00:34:06,140
to know that you could be going through

945
00:34:06,140 --> 00:34:08,559
the whole mental checklist and everything checks off,

946
00:34:09,420 --> 00:34:09,920
and

947
00:34:10,954 --> 00:34:12,715
you try and it doesn't work. And I

948
00:34:12,715 --> 00:34:14,875
know you're, like, you're not fucking adult. You'd

949
00:34:14,875 --> 00:34:16,255
be like, okay. It didn't work.

950
00:34:16,715 --> 00:34:18,875
The submissive part of me that knows that

951
00:34:18,875 --> 00:34:20,954
we talked about this and I've I've agreed

952
00:34:20,954 --> 00:34:22,795
to some semblance of this and Mhmm. That

953
00:34:22,795 --> 00:34:24,974
there are times that I do want it

954
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:26,175
in a moment

955
00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:28,519
where I don't want it, like it was

956
00:34:28,519 --> 00:34:30,519
just a the wrong moment or bad day

957
00:34:30,519 --> 00:34:32,679
or my head wasn't in it, there is

958
00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:35,000
guilt that should not be there. You've never

959
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,920
made me feel guilty. It is all internal

960
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,820
to me who doesn't want to tell you,

961
00:34:40,734 --> 00:34:43,054
no. Don't do that. Will I? Yes. Because

962
00:34:43,054 --> 00:34:44,195
I have all these

963
00:34:45,454 --> 00:34:47,775
thirteen if I'm doing math, thirteen years? I've

964
00:34:47,775 --> 00:34:50,014
trained myself to do it, but I don't

965
00:34:50,014 --> 00:34:50,755
like it.

966
00:34:51,215 --> 00:34:53,050
Right? Like, I I want

967
00:34:53,349 --> 00:34:54,570
that sort of fantasy

968
00:34:54,949 --> 00:34:56,250
version in my head

969
00:34:56,550 --> 00:34:58,630
of where, sure, you've got a checklist you

970
00:34:58,630 --> 00:35:00,070
can do, and I might not know what's

971
00:35:00,070 --> 00:35:01,929
coming, but I know it could be coming.

972
00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:04,230
And I've already agreed to these things, and

973
00:35:04,230 --> 00:35:05,670
it's just gonna go off without a hitch,

974
00:35:05,670 --> 00:35:07,125
and I will be able to switch my

975
00:35:07,125 --> 00:35:08,724
brain over from whatever the hell it was

976
00:35:08,724 --> 00:35:10,824
doing to where we are right now.

977
00:35:11,204 --> 00:35:13,925
Right. And I want that to be true,

978
00:35:13,925 --> 00:35:15,784
and that's who I want to be.

979
00:35:18,405 --> 00:35:19,684
But the reality of it

980
00:35:20,644 --> 00:35:22,400
I'm honest enough to know.

981
00:35:23,500 --> 00:35:25,679
I'm self reflective enough to know.

982
00:35:26,059 --> 00:35:27,579
That is a hard

983
00:35:28,940 --> 00:35:30,780
I I think it would take practice because

984
00:35:30,780 --> 00:35:31,599
I have a feeling

985
00:35:32,059 --> 00:35:33,819
it would have to become something that I

986
00:35:33,819 --> 00:35:36,059
got in a way kind of got used

987
00:35:36,059 --> 00:35:38,465
to. Not used to, like, a schedule. That

988
00:35:38,465 --> 00:35:40,385
you know it was some it was, it

989
00:35:40,385 --> 00:35:40,885
was

990
00:35:41,744 --> 00:35:43,344
something that could happen. You'd have to have

991
00:35:43,344 --> 00:35:45,025
a tell. I think there would because I'd

992
00:35:45,025 --> 00:35:46,224
have to have a way where I could

993
00:35:46,224 --> 00:35:48,565
manually switch my brain to another

994
00:35:50,305 --> 00:35:52,630
okay. Podcast listeners, you don't see him picking

995
00:35:52,630 --> 00:35:55,130
up his wallet bottle. We talked about this,

996
00:35:55,989 --> 00:35:57,530
a few weeks ago. I cannot remember

997
00:35:57,829 --> 00:36:00,710
under what context. Yeah. We are old people

998
00:36:00,710 --> 00:36:01,210
now,

999
00:36:01,670 --> 00:36:03,590
and the way we signal that there will

1000
00:36:03,590 --> 00:36:04,094
be some

1001
00:36:04,655 --> 00:36:06,655
fucking and probably fuckery to go with the

1002
00:36:06,655 --> 00:36:09,054
fucking, so JB brings the water bottle into

1003
00:36:09,054 --> 00:36:10,974
the bedroom because we need a sip of

1004
00:36:10,974 --> 00:36:12,114
water after that.

1005
00:36:12,655 --> 00:36:15,454
It it came about after that reel you

1006
00:36:15,454 --> 00:36:17,739
sent. About how old people, like, seduce one

1007
00:36:17,739 --> 00:36:18,779
another? They they all had

1008
00:36:19,579 --> 00:36:22,219
everybody was talking about their different tells. And

1009
00:36:22,219 --> 00:36:23,980
I was like, what's our tell? My husband

1010
00:36:23,980 --> 00:36:25,819
turns on the heated blanket, and I know

1011
00:36:25,819 --> 00:36:26,960
I'm gonna get some.

1012
00:36:27,739 --> 00:36:28,239
Right.

1013
00:36:29,099 --> 00:36:30,639
Ours is the water bottle.

1014
00:36:32,164 --> 00:36:33,764
And that does work. And you know what?

1015
00:36:33,764 --> 00:36:35,764
When I see the water bottle Mhmm. I

1016
00:36:35,764 --> 00:36:36,824
get a little, like,

1017
00:36:37,364 --> 00:36:39,525
you brought the water bottle in the other

1018
00:36:39,525 --> 00:36:41,605
night, and I thought for sure I was

1019
00:36:41,605 --> 00:36:42,824
gonna get dicked down.

1020
00:36:43,125 --> 00:36:44,565
I mean, what we did was good, but

1021
00:36:44,565 --> 00:36:46,085
there was no dicking down. And I was

1022
00:36:46,085 --> 00:36:48,150
like, oh, because I did have that little

1023
00:36:48,150 --> 00:36:48,650
thrill.

1024
00:36:49,030 --> 00:36:50,710
So that goes back to it. If you

1025
00:36:50,710 --> 00:36:51,349
have to create

1026
00:36:51,829 --> 00:36:53,909
and, again, not everybody would would need this.

1027
00:36:53,909 --> 00:36:55,210
We're all different. But,

1028
00:36:56,230 --> 00:36:57,929
if you have to create a signal

1029
00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:00,150
so I can switch my brain, is it

1030
00:37:00,150 --> 00:37:00,650
spontaneous?

1031
00:37:01,235 --> 00:37:02,914
Even for me now at that point? Because

1032
00:37:02,914 --> 00:37:04,114
if we go on the principle that it

1033
00:37:04,114 --> 00:37:05,795
is spontaneous for the sub or the bottom,

1034
00:37:05,795 --> 00:37:07,414
but not for the dom or the top,

1035
00:37:07,954 --> 00:37:10,114
the moment I have a cue that lets

1036
00:37:10,114 --> 00:37:11,574
me know something's coming,

1037
00:37:12,275 --> 00:37:14,849
am I living in that spontaneous moment now?

1038
00:37:14,849 --> 00:37:16,610
But you don't know when you're going to

1039
00:37:16,610 --> 00:37:18,450
see me pick that up and walk to

1040
00:37:18,450 --> 00:37:20,630
the bedroom. True. True. True. That is true.

1041
00:37:21,090 --> 00:37:22,849
That is true. And I don't quite I

1042
00:37:22,849 --> 00:37:25,010
would not quite know what is going to

1043
00:37:25,010 --> 00:37:26,690
happen Right. On the other side of that

1044
00:37:26,769 --> 00:37:29,110
Mhmm. Other than whatever we have previously

1045
00:37:30,234 --> 00:37:32,715
discussed. Right? Right? Mhmm. Now I can tell

1046
00:37:32,715 --> 00:37:34,094
you the things that

1047
00:37:35,114 --> 00:37:35,614
I

1048
00:37:35,994 --> 00:37:38,175
had the thought, man, I wish this,

1049
00:37:40,315 --> 00:37:42,234
could be more spontaneous. I could have this

1050
00:37:42,234 --> 00:37:43,375
experience spontaneously.

1051
00:37:44,260 --> 00:37:45,559
It is the stuff

1052
00:37:45,940 --> 00:37:49,320
that I like, the sensation, the experience.

1053
00:37:50,019 --> 00:37:51,079
And so then

1054
00:37:52,019 --> 00:37:54,119
I that would a 100% take the spontaneity

1055
00:37:54,260 --> 00:37:56,660
out for you because you like those things,

1056
00:37:56,660 --> 00:38:00,025
but you like other things more. You you

1057
00:38:00,025 --> 00:38:03,485
know, you are seeking different reactions from me

1058
00:38:03,785 --> 00:38:05,704
than like, when I get thud and deep

1059
00:38:05,704 --> 00:38:07,164
tissue massage sensation,

1060
00:38:07,545 --> 00:38:10,664
that's a different response than stingy, burning. I'm

1061
00:38:10,664 --> 00:38:13,670
dying over here. Right? And so then if

1062
00:38:13,670 --> 00:38:14,789
I come to you and go, yeah. I

1063
00:38:14,789 --> 00:38:16,650
want you to spontaneously do shit.

1064
00:38:17,349 --> 00:38:19,589
Here's the list, and it's all within my

1065
00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:22,329
very specific parameters of what I love,

1066
00:38:22,949 --> 00:38:25,369
which is not necessarily what you love.

1067
00:38:27,265 --> 00:38:28,324
Is it spontaneous?

1068
00:38:30,385 --> 00:38:32,224
Spontaneous. Because you're not even getting to choose

1069
00:38:32,224 --> 00:38:34,965
exactly what it is based on your preferences.

1070
00:38:35,425 --> 00:38:36,565
You see what I'm saying?

1071
00:38:37,425 --> 00:38:39,344
And to not be spontaneous is not a

1072
00:38:39,344 --> 00:38:41,349
bad thing. Thing. I like the fact that

1073
00:38:41,429 --> 00:38:42,630
one of the things I like about kink

1074
00:38:42,630 --> 00:38:43,769
is that you have

1075
00:38:44,070 --> 00:38:44,570
direct

1076
00:38:44,869 --> 00:38:45,769
deep conversations,

1077
00:38:46,070 --> 00:38:47,909
and you say what the hell you mean,

1078
00:38:47,909 --> 00:38:49,750
and you mean what you say, and you

1079
00:38:49,750 --> 00:38:51,590
plan shit out, and then the dom takes

1080
00:38:51,590 --> 00:38:52,949
it away from it. I like I fucking

1081
00:38:52,949 --> 00:38:55,025
like that. So I'm not complaining if it's

1082
00:38:55,025 --> 00:38:55,844
not spontaneous.

1083
00:38:56,304 --> 00:38:58,065
But I am wondering, is it at that

1084
00:38:58,065 --> 00:38:58,304
point

1085
00:39:00,545 --> 00:39:01,844
like, what is it?

1086
00:39:05,025 --> 00:39:07,045
Well, at that point, I think

1087
00:39:09,980 --> 00:39:10,719
the spontaneity

1088
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:12,320
then comes in

1089
00:39:14,539 --> 00:39:15,039
where,

1090
00:39:15,420 --> 00:39:16,400
you know, okay.

1091
00:39:16,699 --> 00:39:17,440
We have

1092
00:39:18,539 --> 00:39:19,760
eight toys that

1093
00:39:20,059 --> 00:39:22,159
give thud that you like. Mhmm. Mhmm.

1094
00:39:23,545 --> 00:39:26,344
So then, I have eight toys to choose

1095
00:39:26,344 --> 00:39:28,425
from Mhmm. That you have no idea what

1096
00:39:28,425 --> 00:39:31,885
I'm going to choose. Mhmm. Okay? Mhmm. So,

1097
00:39:32,585 --> 00:39:32,824
there

1098
00:39:36,019 --> 00:39:37,239
Right. I, you know,

1099
00:39:37,539 --> 00:39:39,300
I think that's as close as you can

1100
00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:41,480
get in some of the For folks who

1101
00:39:41,619 --> 00:39:43,380
don't have a spontaneous bone in our body,

1102
00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:43,880
yes.

1103
00:39:45,219 --> 00:39:45,719
So,

1104
00:39:46,099 --> 00:39:47,000
who was it?

1105
00:39:47,625 --> 00:39:49,144
Tastes you in the live chat. Did say

1106
00:39:49,144 --> 00:39:50,744
it's important to point out not everybody plans

1107
00:39:50,744 --> 00:39:51,784
out their day as much as Kayla or

1108
00:39:51,784 --> 00:39:52,985
my wife. That is true. Talking about his

1109
00:39:52,985 --> 00:39:54,824
wife. Some people are chaos creatures and can

1110
00:39:54,824 --> 00:39:57,065
be spontaneous. But here's my question, and I

1111
00:39:57,065 --> 00:39:58,905
don't have the answer because I'm not spontaneous.

1112
00:39:58,905 --> 00:40:01,349
But I want our chaos gremlins out there

1113
00:40:01,510 --> 00:40:03,210
to think about this for yourself.

1114
00:40:04,390 --> 00:40:05,210
Is it

1115
00:40:05,750 --> 00:40:08,470
risk aware, consensual kink? Can that be done?

1116
00:40:08,470 --> 00:40:10,630
Can you be that spontaneous within the confines

1117
00:40:10,630 --> 00:40:11,690
of kink? Or

1118
00:40:12,789 --> 00:40:14,809
it are you only able to be spontaneous

1119
00:40:14,914 --> 00:40:16,614
after you've done some kind of

1120
00:40:17,074 --> 00:40:20,135
setup so there's there's parameters to live within

1121
00:40:20,675 --> 00:40:22,054
and define the spontaneity

1122
00:40:22,355 --> 00:40:25,155
in that? And, and my chaos gremlins out

1123
00:40:25,155 --> 00:40:26,454
there who live spontaneously,

1124
00:40:26,914 --> 00:40:29,074
I can't imagine it but I'm happy for

1125
00:40:29,074 --> 00:40:29,574
you.

1126
00:40:30,710 --> 00:40:33,269
Do you still take that moment to assess

1127
00:40:33,269 --> 00:40:35,609
the situation and get context of,

1128
00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:39,510
is this is, you know, is my partner

1129
00:40:39,510 --> 00:40:42,469
bent over puking right now? Maybe this isn't

1130
00:40:42,469 --> 00:40:43,449
a good time,

1131
00:40:43,954 --> 00:40:45,815
or is it you don't

1132
00:40:47,074 --> 00:40:49,474
necessarily pay attention to the context clues and

1133
00:40:49,474 --> 00:40:51,155
go barreling in? And how does that work

1134
00:40:51,155 --> 00:40:53,954
out for you? Because I imagine it probably

1135
00:40:53,954 --> 00:40:55,650
most of the time would work fine, but

1136
00:40:55,730 --> 00:40:57,250
then there would be times it would not

1137
00:40:57,250 --> 00:40:58,069
work fine.

1138
00:40:58,369 --> 00:41:00,929
But that's like anything. I know. Nothing is

1139
00:41:00,929 --> 00:41:03,089
ever a 100. Of course not. But the

1140
00:41:03,089 --> 00:41:04,150
the thing about

1141
00:41:04,529 --> 00:41:06,929
having I'm gonna keep calling it framework. It's

1142
00:41:06,929 --> 00:41:09,329
stomach started drinking game. The framework of what

1143
00:41:09,329 --> 00:41:11,785
you know the boundaries, the fence line of

1144
00:41:11,785 --> 00:41:13,324
what you know is allowed.

1145
00:41:13,864 --> 00:41:16,045
Mhmm. Whether that is just somebody's

1146
00:41:16,425 --> 00:41:18,684
limits and boundaries and this and that,

1147
00:41:20,905 --> 00:41:23,644
you're working within something that is not spontaneous,

1148
00:41:23,785 --> 00:41:26,000
which I think does give you the freedom

1149
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,559
to be more spontaneous. Alright. You you know

1150
00:41:29,359 --> 00:41:31,440
I'm I'm gonna use this as as kind

1151
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:32,260
of an example.

1152
00:41:33,519 --> 00:41:35,920
Okay? Because, you know, we we've talked about

1153
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:36,420
how,

1154
00:41:37,039 --> 00:41:39,460
you know, you can be spontaneous

1155
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:40,260
within

1156
00:41:41,405 --> 00:41:43,664
The parameters. The parameters of kink. Right.

1157
00:41:46,525 --> 00:41:47,025
Alright.

1158
00:41:48,605 --> 00:41:49,905
I'm gonna go out to eat.

1159
00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:54,144
Okay. K. I'm gonna go out to eat.

1160
00:41:54,204 --> 00:41:55,505
Where am I gonna go?

1161
00:41:56,539 --> 00:41:58,159
I'm not gonna go to some place

1162
00:41:58,699 --> 00:42:01,500
I don't like. Right. Okay? Or food that

1163
00:42:01,500 --> 00:42:02,000
I

1164
00:42:02,380 --> 00:42:05,500
Right. I I I have my favorite restaurants

1165
00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:07,339
that Sure. And I'm gonna pick from one

1166
00:42:07,339 --> 00:42:08,859
of those. Unless you truly are a very

1167
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,300
spontaneous person Well, and then just walk in

1168
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:12,210
where and then you can just walk. No.

1169
00:42:12,210 --> 00:42:13,765
I'm you're living a life I can't imagine,

1170
00:42:13,765 --> 00:42:15,045
and I'm very happy for you, but I

1171
00:42:15,045 --> 00:42:15,785
cannot imagine

1172
00:42:16,085 --> 00:42:18,164
it. I'm just not that person. I'm just

1173
00:42:18,164 --> 00:42:20,164
not that person. Okay. So I mean, you're

1174
00:42:20,164 --> 00:42:21,945
still acting Mhmm. Spontaneously,

1175
00:42:22,724 --> 00:42:25,300
but again, within Right. Certain parameters. And that's

1176
00:42:25,300 --> 00:42:27,460
the thing I don't think I made my

1177
00:42:27,460 --> 00:42:30,260
point. You're like, yes, that, you know, nothing

1178
00:42:30,260 --> 00:42:32,039
is ever a 100%. So if somebody

1179
00:42:32,659 --> 00:42:34,739
spontaneously just barrels in and does not take

1180
00:42:34,739 --> 00:42:36,083
the second to go, wait, what is the

1181
00:42:36,083 --> 00:42:37,585
context here? Is this the right moment? They

1182
00:42:37,585 --> 00:42:39,344
just barrel through with whatever the thought was

1183
00:42:39,344 --> 00:42:40,405
and they go forth

1184
00:42:40,864 --> 00:42:42,625
and that sometimes it will not work out.

1185
00:42:42,625 --> 00:42:44,465
Here's the thing. Part of the reason we

1186
00:42:44,465 --> 00:42:45,605
create the parameters

1187
00:42:46,625 --> 00:42:49,050
within kink and we have the negotiations, we

1188
00:42:49,130 --> 00:42:50,650
go, here's the hard limits and here's the

1189
00:42:50,650 --> 00:42:51,769
boundaries and here's the things I want and

1190
00:42:51,769 --> 00:42:52,890
here's the things I like and here's the

1191
00:42:52,890 --> 00:42:54,090
things I don't like and blah blah blah

1192
00:42:54,090 --> 00:42:56,890
blah blah, and we create our Venn diagram

1193
00:42:56,890 --> 00:42:59,550
of you and me Mhmm. Is to reduce

1194
00:42:59,690 --> 00:43:00,349
the chance

1195
00:43:00,809 --> 00:43:02,744
that something is gonna go wrong. Yeah. True.

1196
00:43:02,744 --> 00:43:04,344
Things will always go wrong. That's why we

1197
00:43:04,344 --> 00:43:06,204
talk about Mhmm. Be prepared

1198
00:43:06,505 --> 00:43:09,864
for even the best plan scene to, like,

1199
00:43:09,864 --> 00:43:12,025
fuck up. Murphy will raise his head. But

1200
00:43:12,025 --> 00:43:14,780
that's because there was planning ahead of time,

1201
00:43:14,780 --> 00:43:16,079
and we know it's coming.

1202
00:43:16,460 --> 00:43:17,920
I I don't have

1203
00:43:18,539 --> 00:43:20,460
concrete thoughts on this because I'm not a

1204
00:43:20,460 --> 00:43:23,420
spontaneous person. But for somebody who, like, feels

1205
00:43:23,420 --> 00:43:25,179
like, no. I'm a spontaneous person. I just

1206
00:43:25,179 --> 00:43:27,199
sort of barrel through in certain situations,

1207
00:43:28,235 --> 00:43:30,235
That is what I'm wondering about. Is it

1208
00:43:30,555 --> 00:43:32,394
does it feel like you're being spontaneous because

1209
00:43:32,394 --> 00:43:34,735
you have the parameters already in place,

1210
00:43:35,195 --> 00:43:35,695
or

1211
00:43:36,555 --> 00:43:38,155
are there folks out there who tried to

1212
00:43:38,155 --> 00:43:41,355
barrel through spontaneously and kink without clear parameters

1213
00:43:41,355 --> 00:43:43,349
or knowing those parameters really, really

1214
00:43:44,550 --> 00:43:45,289
well. And,

1215
00:43:45,590 --> 00:43:47,989
you know, how how is that working out?

1216
00:43:47,989 --> 00:43:50,470
Because from my viewpoint, I can't imagine it

1217
00:43:50,470 --> 00:43:52,070
because I'm not wired like that. Like, it's

1218
00:43:52,070 --> 00:43:53,530
never gonna be my experience.

1219
00:43:53,910 --> 00:43:55,829
I would be freaking the fuck out if

1220
00:43:55,829 --> 00:43:57,289
you were the type of partner

1221
00:43:57,750 --> 00:43:59,050
who who didn't

1222
00:43:59,424 --> 00:44:00,085
at least

1223
00:44:00,704 --> 00:44:02,385
a little bit go, let me think this

1224
00:44:02,385 --> 00:44:03,924
through real quick. You know what I mean?

1225
00:44:04,224 --> 00:44:05,824
And I don't want to assume that spontaneous

1226
00:44:05,824 --> 00:44:07,984
people don't think things through. Mhmm. But I

1227
00:44:07,984 --> 00:44:10,005
do know what impulsivity looks like.

1228
00:44:10,864 --> 00:44:14,190
Raised two teenagers have strange random moments of

1229
00:44:14,349 --> 00:44:17,329
impulsivity myself. And my experience with impulsivity,

1230
00:44:17,949 --> 00:44:20,449
especially the kind that I didn't really want,

1231
00:44:20,829 --> 00:44:23,309
you know, the moment the I got the

1232
00:44:23,309 --> 00:44:25,789
dopamine hit of the impulsivity Yeah. The moment

1233
00:44:25,789 --> 00:44:27,150
that faded, I was like, that is not

1234
00:44:27,150 --> 00:44:28,065
what I wanted. Right?

1235
00:44:28,944 --> 00:44:30,625
That's the thing. The few times in my

1236
00:44:30,625 --> 00:44:33,025
life that I've ever just barreled through and

1237
00:44:33,025 --> 00:44:34,864
didn't stop to think and didn't stop to

1238
00:44:34,864 --> 00:44:36,464
catch my breath and went, I have thought,

1239
00:44:36,464 --> 00:44:37,525
do thought now,

1240
00:44:37,824 --> 00:44:39,605
it did not end well.

1241
00:44:40,065 --> 00:44:42,484
And I so I'm curious about people who

1242
00:44:43,619 --> 00:44:46,599
live their life differently, follow their impulses differently.

1243
00:44:47,940 --> 00:44:50,500
Are are we still like, does it work

1244
00:44:50,500 --> 00:44:52,339
in kink as as long as you just

1245
00:44:52,339 --> 00:44:54,339
are following the basic rules of kink that

1246
00:44:54,339 --> 00:44:56,659
there are negotiated bounds and you're just staying

1247
00:44:56,659 --> 00:44:59,144
within those? Mhmm. And does that then especially

1248
00:44:59,144 --> 00:45:01,465
for a spontaneous person, but maybe for people

1249
00:45:01,465 --> 00:45:03,385
like me who are not spontaneous, does it

1250
00:45:03,385 --> 00:45:05,625
give you more freedom to be spontaneous? Because

1251
00:45:05,625 --> 00:45:06,284
you know

1252
00:45:06,824 --> 00:45:07,565
the rules,

1253
00:45:08,025 --> 00:45:08,684
the guidelines

1254
00:45:09,224 --> 00:45:11,304
Mhmm. The fence, the box. Call it whatever

1255
00:45:11,304 --> 00:45:11,429
you want.

1256
00:45:13,909 --> 00:45:16,530
Already been decided, and now you have freedom

1257
00:45:16,549 --> 00:45:18,089
to move within

1258
00:45:18,630 --> 00:45:21,030
that. Mhmm. But then I would say, if

1259
00:45:21,030 --> 00:45:23,609
you yourself are an impulsive or spontaneous person

1260
00:45:23,829 --> 00:45:25,289
and your partner is not,

1261
00:45:25,909 --> 00:45:27,775
y'all are both gonna have to learn

1262
00:45:28,235 --> 00:45:31,914
how to Navigate that. Navigate that. Because if

1263
00:45:31,914 --> 00:45:33,055
you were impulsive

1264
00:45:35,195 --> 00:45:36,974
and you came at me impulsively,

1265
00:45:37,675 --> 00:45:39,594
until I learned how to deal with that

1266
00:45:39,594 --> 00:45:40,875
or I got used to it or you

1267
00:45:40,875 --> 00:45:43,570
and I found our balance Mhmm. That would

1268
00:45:43,570 --> 00:45:45,030
freak me the fuck out.

1269
00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:48,449
I married an impulsive person who every impulsive

1270
00:45:48,449 --> 00:45:50,150
choice he ever made was wrong.

1271
00:45:52,369 --> 00:45:55,409
It was very stressful. So I'm also, in

1272
00:45:55,409 --> 00:45:58,285
that way, keyed up to not like it

1273
00:45:58,285 --> 00:46:00,144
as much to to be very wary

1274
00:46:00,605 --> 00:46:01,505
Mhmm. Of impulsivity.

1275
00:46:03,405 --> 00:46:05,405
But I do think that with trust and

1276
00:46:05,405 --> 00:46:07,405
time, I you and I could adjust to

1277
00:46:07,405 --> 00:46:09,085
one another. You would go, I've got the

1278
00:46:09,085 --> 00:46:12,079
impulse, but I better send up the flare,

1279
00:46:12,220 --> 00:46:14,800
use my keyword, do a check-in.

1280
00:46:15,340 --> 00:46:16,860
You know, we would we would learn we

1281
00:46:16,860 --> 00:46:18,460
would we temper each other. The more we

1282
00:46:18,460 --> 00:46:20,460
learn about one another and we want things

1283
00:46:20,460 --> 00:46:21,119
to work

1284
00:46:21,420 --> 00:46:22,780
for both of us and for both of

1285
00:46:22,780 --> 00:46:24,315
us to be happy, the more we

1286
00:46:25,275 --> 00:46:27,775
together adjust. Right. You know what I mean?

1287
00:46:27,994 --> 00:46:29,914
So I I'm not I don't want it

1288
00:46:29,914 --> 00:46:31,034
to make it sound like, I just can't

1289
00:46:31,034 --> 00:46:33,034
imagine impulsive people. Like, I don't that's not

1290
00:46:33,034 --> 00:46:34,586
what I mean. I'm just curious because I

1291
00:46:34,586 --> 00:46:34,714
can't imagine it. Because I am, like, whatever

1292
00:46:34,714 --> 00:46:35,295
the polar opposite is from impulsive

1293
00:46:35,594 --> 00:46:36,094
and

1294
00:46:38,150 --> 00:46:41,430
ever the polar opposite is from impulsive and

1295
00:46:41,430 --> 00:46:41,930
spontaneous,

1296
00:46:42,630 --> 00:46:45,349
that's me. She's she's probably already got tomorrow

1297
00:46:45,349 --> 00:46:47,430
all planned out. If I could and if

1298
00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:49,110
I thought the world would just let me

1299
00:46:49,110 --> 00:46:50,650
keep my fucking plan

1300
00:46:51,430 --> 00:46:52,570
and if my brain

1301
00:46:52,934 --> 00:46:55,574
would cooperate with the plan, the plan I

1302
00:46:55,574 --> 00:46:57,735
set on Wednesday for Thursday, if I could

1303
00:46:57,735 --> 00:47:00,555
wake up on Thursday and have Wednesday's brain

1304
00:47:00,855 --> 00:47:03,574
that made that plan working that plan, life

1305
00:47:03,574 --> 00:47:05,175
would be pretty fucking good. I'd be so

1306
00:47:05,175 --> 00:47:05,675
happy.

1307
00:47:05,974 --> 00:47:07,515
I'd have almost no stress.

1308
00:47:08,119 --> 00:47:10,679
I'd drive her nuts sometimes because she'd ask

1309
00:47:10,679 --> 00:47:12,219
me, what do you have planned for today?

1310
00:47:14,039 --> 00:47:14,539
Work.

1311
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:17,640
I don't know how you function. I know

1312
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,559
people do. I know people do. I know

1313
00:47:19,559 --> 00:47:22,345
more than you do. You just more people

1314
00:47:22,345 --> 00:47:24,585
than you, JV, do. I just my brain

1315
00:47:24,585 --> 00:47:25,405
cannot comprehend.

1316
00:47:26,025 --> 00:47:26,845
Like, I

1317
00:47:27,305 --> 00:47:28,664
I I was like, I don't I don't

1318
00:47:28,664 --> 00:47:30,125
know how. I don't know how.

1319
00:47:30,825 --> 00:47:32,204
I can't envision it.

1320
00:47:32,664 --> 00:47:34,905
Now Tayshoo says that impulsivity and spontaneity have

1321
00:47:34,905 --> 00:47:36,699
overlap, but they're two different animals. And I

1322
00:47:36,699 --> 00:47:39,420
think you're right. I was referring impulsivity to

1323
00:47:39,420 --> 00:47:41,280
the definition from Merriam Webster,

1324
00:47:41,900 --> 00:47:45,019
arising from a momentary impulse. You know? Proceeding

1325
00:47:45,019 --> 00:47:47,280
from a natural feeling or native tendency without

1326
00:47:47,340 --> 00:47:48,400
external constraint.

1327
00:47:49,179 --> 00:47:51,099
I'd have to look up what impulsivity means

1328
00:47:51,099 --> 00:47:53,905
to get its, like, nitty gritty. Mhmm. And

1329
00:47:53,905 --> 00:47:56,224
there there are it's a 100% impulsivity that

1330
00:47:56,224 --> 00:47:58,224
can be dangerous. I I married it, and

1331
00:47:58,224 --> 00:48:00,945
it did not end well. It did not

1332
00:48:00,945 --> 00:48:01,684
end well.

1333
00:48:02,545 --> 00:48:04,085
But, you know, our spontaneous

1334
00:48:04,464 --> 00:48:07,139
people, people who know enough who have have

1335
00:48:07,139 --> 00:48:08,599
better control over their impulsivity?

1336
00:48:09,299 --> 00:48:10,920
And they turn it into spontaneity

1337
00:48:11,940 --> 00:48:13,799
because that's spontaneity can

1338
00:48:14,260 --> 00:48:17,319
is is spontaneity more, responsible than impulsivity?

1339
00:48:17,940 --> 00:48:18,839
Is it semantics

1340
00:48:23,315 --> 00:48:25,315
I don't fucking know. That is not my

1341
00:48:25,315 --> 00:48:27,635
journey to walk in life. You're making my

1342
00:48:27,635 --> 00:48:28,855
brain hurt now.

1343
00:48:29,795 --> 00:48:31,715
We're almost to getting to the point where

1344
00:48:31,715 --> 00:48:32,534
you go, what,

1345
00:48:33,235 --> 00:48:35,280
is the definition of is? Is that right?

1346
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:38,000
Or what is is? Yeah. That's Yeah. You

1347
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:39,360
can get too far in the weeds of

1348
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:41,940
these, and I'm I nerd out over that.

1349
00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,559
I like the semantics of it. It's a

1350
00:48:44,559 --> 00:48:47,039
little bit like I'm doing a like, I'm

1351
00:48:47,039 --> 00:48:48,640
walking a maze and I'm like, oh, I

1352
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:50,480
see another way to go because did you

1353
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:53,184
think of this thing? And you know? Mhmm.

1354
00:48:53,885 --> 00:48:55,744
So yeah. I'm you know?

1355
00:48:59,005 --> 00:49:01,344
And then I find it even more interesting,

1356
00:49:02,525 --> 00:49:04,045
and I think there'll be something to say

1357
00:49:04,045 --> 00:49:05,859
in this when I get to this. I

1358
00:49:05,859 --> 00:49:07,619
keep saying this, and it's not I'm not

1359
00:49:07,619 --> 00:49:09,239
trying to edge you with this information,

1360
00:49:09,539 --> 00:49:10,280
but I'm

1361
00:49:10,980 --> 00:49:12,280
I'm working on the Neurodivergent

1362
00:49:12,659 --> 00:49:15,239
series. Correct. And, you know, understanding

1363
00:49:16,099 --> 00:49:17,460
a little bit more about folks who are

1364
00:49:17,460 --> 00:49:17,960
autistic

1365
00:49:18,260 --> 00:49:20,980
who tend to, not always, not universally, tend

1366
00:49:20,980 --> 00:49:22,855
to prefer plans or

1367
00:49:23,315 --> 00:49:26,454
routines or knowing what's gonna happen, right, versus

1368
00:49:26,914 --> 00:49:29,474
some, but not all people with ADHD who

1369
00:49:29,474 --> 00:49:31,234
part of it is the impulsivity and the,

1370
00:49:31,234 --> 00:49:33,094
like, I just fucking do shit sometimes.

1371
00:49:33,394 --> 00:49:35,609
And then God help us, and I I'm

1372
00:49:35,609 --> 00:49:37,130
including myself in this even though it's a

1373
00:49:37,130 --> 00:49:39,469
self diagnosis, when you have fucking both

1374
00:49:39,849 --> 00:49:42,030
because you have two kind of polar opposites

1375
00:49:42,089 --> 00:49:44,569
fighting against one another. Yeah. And may the

1376
00:49:44,569 --> 00:49:46,184
odds be ever in your favor of which

1377
00:49:46,184 --> 00:49:47,644
one you're gonna get that day.

1378
00:49:48,184 --> 00:49:48,425
But

1379
00:49:49,065 --> 00:49:50,925
so my point to that is to say

1380
00:49:51,144 --> 00:49:52,125
that if

1381
00:49:53,945 --> 00:49:54,445
so

1382
00:49:54,905 --> 00:49:56,425
I had not confirmed it and I'd saved

1383
00:49:56,425 --> 00:49:57,945
it, so I don't remember exactly where the

1384
00:49:57,945 --> 00:49:59,644
number came from. But there is a thought

1385
00:49:59,704 --> 00:50:00,844
that while neurodivergent

1386
00:50:01,385 --> 00:50:02,819
make up just a, like, a

1387
00:50:03,199 --> 00:50:05,280
two to three to five, whatever, percentage of

1388
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,519
the population, although it is probably higher than

1389
00:50:07,519 --> 00:50:09,839
that because people get missed in diagnoses and

1390
00:50:09,839 --> 00:50:10,659
all that. Mhmm.

1391
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:12,739
In the kink world,

1392
00:50:13,199 --> 00:50:13,699
neurodivergence,

1393
00:50:14,159 --> 00:50:15,839
I wanna say it was anywhere from thirty

1394
00:50:15,839 --> 00:50:16,819
to fifty percent

1395
00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:19,585
of people tend to be kinkier within the

1396
00:50:19,585 --> 00:50:21,824
kink community. And part of that is because

1397
00:50:21,824 --> 00:50:23,424
there's a lot of communication and there's a

1398
00:50:23,424 --> 00:50:25,585
lot of frameworks. And for for people who

1399
00:50:25,585 --> 00:50:27,025
want to know what the fuck is supposed

1400
00:50:27,025 --> 00:50:28,385
to happen and they don't wanna have to

1401
00:50:28,385 --> 00:50:29,844
guess what they're supposed to do,

1402
00:50:30,190 --> 00:50:31,010
that's a

1403
00:50:31,309 --> 00:50:33,630
good, you know, thing that that works well

1404
00:50:33,630 --> 00:50:34,929
for those kinds of minds.

1405
00:50:35,469 --> 00:50:37,969
And then I think about those who

1406
00:50:38,590 --> 00:50:40,750
are a little bit impulsive, those who do

1407
00:50:40,750 --> 00:50:42,909
just go for the dopamine rush. Mhmm. Does

1408
00:50:42,909 --> 00:50:45,150
it sometimes bite them in the ass, or

1409
00:50:45,150 --> 00:50:47,025
does it just take a learning process of

1410
00:50:47,025 --> 00:50:47,525
learning

1411
00:50:47,984 --> 00:50:50,244
how to move within, again, the parameters

1412
00:50:50,545 --> 00:50:52,864
to still Yeah. Have that experience. And and

1413
00:50:52,864 --> 00:50:54,784
see this is just me. At least, I

1414
00:50:54,784 --> 00:50:56,005
think it's just me.

1415
00:50:57,905 --> 00:50:59,605
For whatever reason,

1416
00:50:59,984 --> 00:51:00,964
I have always

1417
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:03,260
looked at,

1418
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:06,860
being impulsive or impulsivity,

1419
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:09,739
more in a negative

1420
00:51:10,199 --> 00:51:11,420
connotation. It's because

1421
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:12,380
impulsivity

1422
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:14,860
can lead to negative outcomes. Spontaneity

1423
00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,420
can, but spontaneity is the fun cousin.

1424
00:51:17,775 --> 00:51:20,494
Spontaneity says, hey. I'm the fun one who

1425
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:22,655
decided we just go on this trip and

1426
00:51:22,655 --> 00:51:24,574
I just told you right now. To somebody

1427
00:51:24,574 --> 00:51:26,594
who is not spontaneous though is

1428
00:51:26,974 --> 00:51:28,494
I'm not in a good mood about that.

1429
00:51:28,494 --> 00:51:30,094
Wait. I had plans and I had mapped

1430
00:51:30,094 --> 00:51:31,534
my day out and and who's gonna take

1431
00:51:31,534 --> 00:51:32,655
care of this and did you think of

1432
00:51:32,655 --> 00:51:33,989
all these things and you know what I

1433
00:51:33,989 --> 00:51:36,309
mean? So I'm the the Debbie Downer who's

1434
00:51:36,309 --> 00:51:37,530
gonna say even spontaneity

1435
00:51:38,469 --> 00:51:41,110
is not necessarily a positive. But I agree

1436
00:51:41,110 --> 00:51:43,929
with you. Impulsivity absolutely is seen as the,

1437
00:51:44,150 --> 00:51:47,030
you make terrible decisions without thinking about them.

1438
00:51:47,030 --> 00:51:49,905
Where spontaneous is the, I'm the fun aunt

1439
00:51:49,905 --> 00:51:51,425
who's gonna take you to Disney World this

1440
00:51:51,425 --> 00:51:53,105
weekend. Just get in the car and let's

1441
00:51:53,105 --> 00:51:53,605
go.

1442
00:51:54,385 --> 00:51:54,885
Yeah.

1443
00:51:55,824 --> 00:51:57,505
But those of us who are worriers and

1444
00:51:57,505 --> 00:51:59,505
planners and need to know what's gonna happen

1445
00:51:59,505 --> 00:52:03,045
next do have questions before you spontaneous people

1446
00:52:03,664 --> 00:52:06,030
do your thing. Who's feeding the dog? Who's

1447
00:52:06,030 --> 00:52:07,869
taking care of the cats? How are we

1448
00:52:07,869 --> 00:52:09,710
gonna get the chores done? We had plans

1449
00:52:09,710 --> 00:52:11,230
for this weekend. When will we get those

1450
00:52:11,230 --> 00:52:11,730
done?

1451
00:52:12,110 --> 00:52:14,750
Look. I am I I'm an efficient bitch

1452
00:52:14,750 --> 00:52:17,230
who gets stuff done, but I will bring

1453
00:52:17,230 --> 00:52:17,890
the vibe

1454
00:52:21,605 --> 00:52:22,105
down.

1455
00:52:22,644 --> 00:52:25,045
Oh my. I I've had in my in

1456
00:52:25,045 --> 00:52:27,465
my life one surprise birthday party,

1457
00:52:28,164 --> 00:52:30,184
and my friend at the time,

1458
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,360
planned it with my parents because she wanted

1459
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:35,300
she wanted it to be truly a surprise.

1460
00:52:36,719 --> 00:52:38,960
And I figured it out day of hours

1461
00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:41,679
before, but day of because there was too

1462
00:52:41,679 --> 00:52:43,780
much, hey. Let's go do this now.

1463
00:52:44,375 --> 00:52:46,714
And I had too many fucking questions. Also,

1464
00:52:47,494 --> 00:52:49,255
pattern recognition. I was like, this isn't none

1465
00:52:49,255 --> 00:52:51,014
of this is normal. Y'all are doing weird

1466
00:52:51,014 --> 00:52:53,335
shit. This is blah blah blah. I figured

1467
00:52:53,335 --> 00:52:53,994
it out.

1468
00:52:54,375 --> 00:52:56,694
Thank God. Because if that had felt like

1469
00:52:56,694 --> 00:52:58,839
a thing that just happened to me, I'd

1470
00:52:58,839 --> 00:53:00,679
have lost my mind and nobody would have

1471
00:53:00,679 --> 00:53:01,579
had a good time.

1472
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:03,900
I am

1473
00:53:04,359 --> 00:53:05,739
so unfun sometimes.

1474
00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:09,480
I know who I am. It's fine. It's

1475
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:09,980
fine.

1476
00:53:12,425 --> 00:53:13,405
I mean, ultimately

1477
00:53:15,465 --> 00:53:16,525
Mhmm. Ultimately,

1478
00:53:17,784 --> 00:53:19,625
I think, of course, yes, there can be

1479
00:53:19,625 --> 00:53:21,704
spontaneity in kink. I do think it comes

1480
00:53:21,704 --> 00:53:23,405
down to who you are as a person,

1481
00:53:23,545 --> 00:53:26,445
your comfort level, what you need to feel

1482
00:53:26,920 --> 00:53:28,940
safe and good within kink.

1483
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:31,500
And also it has to do with how

1484
00:53:32,119 --> 00:53:34,460
you do it. It's a little bit like

1485
00:53:36,039 --> 00:53:37,640
I don't know if this is the right

1486
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:39,659
analogy. I might change my mind mid sentence.

1487
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:40,940
So

1488
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:42,140
Dom's having

1489
00:53:42,855 --> 00:53:43,914
control and power,

1490
00:53:45,094 --> 00:53:47,335
it only lasts while you have consent. So

1491
00:53:47,335 --> 00:53:50,135
you don't have true total air force, total

1492
00:53:50,135 --> 00:53:52,295
power. Right? It is a little bit of

1493
00:53:52,295 --> 00:53:54,295
a mirage because it can be broken at

1494
00:53:54,295 --> 00:53:56,054
any time. It is through the consent of

1495
00:53:56,054 --> 00:53:58,779
both parties. Mhmm. One person takes away consent.

1496
00:53:58,779 --> 00:54:00,079
It's it shatters. Right?

1497
00:54:00,539 --> 00:54:02,000
I wonder if spontaneousness

1498
00:54:03,579 --> 00:54:05,900
in kink is kind of the same way.

1499
00:54:05,900 --> 00:54:09,659
It looks spontaneous. And to at least 50%

1500
00:54:09,659 --> 00:54:12,914
of the the situation, it might feel spontaneous.

1501
00:54:13,295 --> 00:54:15,614
But it's really a mirage because there's been

1502
00:54:15,614 --> 00:54:18,255
planning and there's been forethought and there's been

1503
00:54:18,255 --> 00:54:20,734
a careful calculation of how do I think

1504
00:54:20,734 --> 00:54:22,094
this is gonna go? Is it gonna you

1505
00:54:22,094 --> 00:54:24,114
know, am I am I about to, like,

1506
00:54:24,659 --> 00:54:26,739
break my whole relationship because I done fucked

1507
00:54:26,739 --> 00:54:27,940
up? You know what I mean? Like, am

1508
00:54:27,940 --> 00:54:29,940
I staying within the bounds? Right? The the

1509
00:54:29,940 --> 00:54:31,539
the safe lines of what I'm allowed to

1510
00:54:31,539 --> 00:54:33,539
do. Right. And so I wonder if that's

1511
00:54:33,539 --> 00:54:35,380
what it is. It can goes back to

1512
00:54:35,380 --> 00:54:37,139
what Rara said at the very beginning, which

1513
00:54:37,139 --> 00:54:37,485
is

1514
00:54:38,045 --> 00:54:40,684
for the the big d side, it's not

1515
00:54:40,684 --> 00:54:42,765
spontaneous. For the little s side, it might

1516
00:54:42,765 --> 00:54:45,744
feel spontaneous. And, again, that's then just

1517
00:54:47,325 --> 00:54:48,605
Mirage is the word I keep coming up

1518
00:54:48,605 --> 00:54:49,565
with, but I know there's a better word.

1519
00:54:49,565 --> 00:54:51,244
I can't think of what it is. It

1520
00:54:51,325 --> 00:54:52,065
it's not

1521
00:54:52,559 --> 00:54:53,780
it's not definitionally

1522
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:54,980
actually

1523
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:55,780
spontaneity,

1524
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,340
but as long as it feels like it

1525
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:00,800
and you have you know, then it that's

1526
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:02,800
fine. Like, it's who cares? Because then it's

1527
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,880
semantics at that point. That yeah. It's me

1528
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:06,099
going, well, actually,

1529
00:55:06,425 --> 00:55:07,885
let me open up the dictionary.

1530
00:55:08,984 --> 00:55:10,605
I am so fun.

1531
00:55:11,945 --> 00:55:14,105
I'm I'm not gonna well, actually anybody on

1532
00:55:14,105 --> 00:55:14,844
that because

1533
00:55:15,704 --> 00:55:17,864
I get it. I get it. Because even

1534
00:55:17,864 --> 00:55:19,724
I, the most non spontaneous

1535
00:55:20,025 --> 00:55:22,889
unspont in whatever the word is, No. No

1536
00:55:22,889 --> 00:55:23,550
to spontaneity.

1537
00:55:24,569 --> 00:55:26,250
Have cravings where I'm like, man, I do

1538
00:55:26,250 --> 00:55:27,609
wish this would just kinda come out of

1539
00:55:27,609 --> 00:55:29,309
nowhere to me. Mhmm. Except

1540
00:55:29,609 --> 00:55:31,530
I'm realistic enough to know you think that

1541
00:55:31,530 --> 00:55:33,309
today because you want it right now.

1542
00:55:34,489 --> 00:55:36,484
But in two days, if you get

1543
00:55:36,864 --> 00:55:39,204
it, you might elbow check it. I'm

1544
00:55:39,664 --> 00:55:41,605
like, what the fuck are you doing?

1545
00:55:43,025 --> 00:55:44,164
Oh my god.

1546
00:55:45,344 --> 00:55:46,404
Oh my god.

1547
00:55:51,109 --> 00:55:51,609
Anyway

1548
00:55:52,549 --> 00:55:53,369
Any who's?

1549
00:55:54,309 --> 00:55:55,130
Any who's?

1550
00:55:55,909 --> 00:55:57,130
Any final thoughts?

1551
00:55:58,389 --> 00:56:00,130
No. Yeah. I

1552
00:56:00,710 --> 00:56:03,190
of course, there is. Not not for me.

1553
00:56:03,190 --> 00:56:05,344
Yeah. But if you can manage it

1554
00:56:05,965 --> 00:56:07,724
yeah. Just don't get too precious about the

1555
00:56:07,724 --> 00:56:09,505
definition of the word spontaneous.

1556
00:56:10,445 --> 00:56:12,224
And truly be careful because

1557
00:56:12,925 --> 00:56:13,744
full impulsivity,

1558
00:56:14,684 --> 00:56:17,585
calling yourself spontaneous, but there's been no negotiation,

1559
00:56:17,885 --> 00:56:20,920
there's been no agreement, there's no plan in

1560
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:24,760
place within kink. That's so fucking dangerous. Now

1561
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:27,079
now do you actually have consent for anything

1562
00:56:27,079 --> 00:56:28,760
you're about to do? Of course not. I

1563
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,760
think it it has to work within the

1564
00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:31,260
bounds

1565
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:34,300
of what a kink relationship between people

1566
00:56:34,674 --> 00:56:37,074
has been decided it is and Mhmm. What

1567
00:56:37,074 --> 00:56:38,514
you do and what you don't do within

1568
00:56:38,514 --> 00:56:39,255
those bounds.

1569
00:56:39,875 --> 00:56:41,154
Also, if you have a partner who's like,

1570
00:56:41,154 --> 00:56:42,694
do not do shit spontaneously

1571
00:56:42,994 --> 00:56:44,674
with me. That is a hard limit. You

1572
00:56:44,674 --> 00:56:46,154
gotta respect that shit. Well, I'm just saying.

1573
00:56:46,275 --> 00:56:48,614
Do. Yeah. And then decide, are y'all compatible?

1574
00:56:49,074 --> 00:56:49,974
I don't know.

1575
00:56:52,300 --> 00:56:54,239
I'm trying to imagine if you were spontaneous.

1576
00:56:54,940 --> 00:56:57,099
Or if you were impulsive the way I

1577
00:56:57,099 --> 00:56:58,539
think of the word impulsive, we would not

1578
00:56:58,539 --> 00:57:00,219
be together. I I would have noped out

1579
00:57:00,219 --> 00:57:02,300
very early on Yeah. Because that was there

1580
00:57:02,300 --> 00:57:04,855
was too much baggage there. Mhmm. But spontaneous

1581
00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:06,594
in the way that it's, like, meant to

1582
00:57:06,594 --> 00:57:08,355
be of, like, this is actually supposed to

1583
00:57:08,355 --> 00:57:09,014
be fun,

1584
00:57:09,394 --> 00:57:10,994
I probably could have gotten used to it

1585
00:57:10,994 --> 00:57:12,594
because all your other good traits and the

1586
00:57:12,594 --> 00:57:14,594
things I love about you would still, you

1587
00:57:14,594 --> 00:57:15,734
know, have been there.

1588
00:57:16,114 --> 00:57:16,614
So

1589
00:57:16,994 --> 00:57:18,110
but I think there would have been a

1590
00:57:18,110 --> 00:57:19,469
lot more navigating. I think there would have

1591
00:57:19,469 --> 00:57:20,930
been a lot more misunderstandings

1592
00:57:21,309 --> 00:57:23,570
before we figured out what worked. True.

1593
00:57:24,829 --> 00:57:27,070
So that's just what I'm saying there. Anyway

1594
00:57:27,469 --> 00:57:29,809
Anywho. Yeah. That's all I got. Okay.

1595
00:57:30,394 --> 00:57:30,894
So,

1596
00:57:31,275 --> 00:57:33,295
are we good? I have no fucking clue.

1597
00:57:34,954 --> 00:57:37,114
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1598
00:57:37,114 --> 00:57:37,775
on Friday.

1599
00:57:47,430 --> 00:57:49,510
Dottie. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to

1600
00:57:49,510 --> 00:57:51,430
the crickets? Sure. But not too much because

1601
00:57:51,430 --> 00:57:52,469
we have to have, like, stuff to talk

1602
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:54,469
about. That's true. Hopefully, we're not laughing at

1603
00:57:54,469 --> 00:57:56,949
my sad haircut. I get very nervous going

1604
00:57:56,949 --> 00:57:58,394
to a new person because you don't know

1605
00:57:58,394 --> 00:57:59,594
know them. You don't know them. You don't

1606
00:57:59,594 --> 00:58:01,675
know what they're like. And this person is

1607
00:58:01,675 --> 00:58:04,155
on Instagram, but not like there's not video,

1608
00:58:04,155 --> 00:58:06,554
so I love them talking. It's pictures. Yeah.

1609
00:58:06,554 --> 00:58:07,295
And so

1610
00:58:08,474 --> 00:58:10,414
Lola agrees in the background.

1611
00:58:10,954 --> 00:58:12,655
Whoo. She's very sad.

1612
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:16,699
Oh, yeah. She's been she's been, abandoned.

1613
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:18,860
Nobody loves her anymore.

1614
00:58:19,559 --> 00:58:22,059
She is alone and lost in the world.

1615
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,180
And by the world, I mean, our couch.

1616
00:58:27,719 --> 00:58:28,184
She

1617
00:58:29,144 --> 00:58:31,385
her we are a little worried that her

1618
00:58:31,385 --> 00:58:33,545
eye that we just got cleared up a

1619
00:58:33,545 --> 00:58:34,364
few weeks ago,

1620
00:58:34,905 --> 00:58:35,545
from the,

1621
00:58:36,105 --> 00:58:39,005
ulcers and infection is happening again,

1622
00:58:39,305 --> 00:58:42,045
which the ophthalmologist had said if her eye

1623
00:58:42,309 --> 00:58:44,489
goes into this cycle of needing antibiotics,

1624
00:58:45,109 --> 00:58:47,269
clearing up, needing antibiotics, clearing up, that means

1625
00:58:47,269 --> 00:58:48,409
that she will need surgery.

1626
00:58:48,710 --> 00:58:50,710
I need surgery for Lola to hold out

1627
00:58:50,710 --> 00:58:52,710
until early next year when then I have

1628
00:58:52,710 --> 00:58:54,730
some surgery funds for Lola.

1629
00:58:55,670 --> 00:58:57,824
Just like I need surgery for Ella to

1630
00:58:57,824 --> 00:59:00,465
hold out till early next year. But Ella

1631
00:59:00,465 --> 00:59:02,005
is still peeing on everything.

1632
00:59:03,744 --> 00:59:04,804
So I don't know.

1633
00:59:06,144 --> 00:59:07,984
Yeah. And I want I don't look. I

1634
00:59:07,984 --> 00:59:09,984
don't want I don't want Ella to be

1635
00:59:09,984 --> 00:59:11,925
miserable or in pain or uncomfortable.

1636
00:59:13,489 --> 00:59:15,730
But if she is peeing on everything, I

1637
00:59:15,730 --> 00:59:17,510
want it to be because she

1638
00:59:17,969 --> 00:59:20,609
is uncomfortable and not because she's a little

1639
00:59:20,609 --> 00:59:22,309
bitch that now has bad habits.

1640
00:59:22,690 --> 00:59:25,454
Yeah. If it's happening, I can be very

1641
00:59:25,695 --> 00:59:28,114
forgiving of you don't feel good,

1642
00:59:28,575 --> 00:59:29,795
and so this is

1643
00:59:30,255 --> 00:59:31,635
a result of that.

1644
00:59:32,094 --> 00:59:33,775
I hate it. I wanna help you. I

1645
00:59:33,775 --> 00:59:34,835
wanna help us.

1646
00:59:35,695 --> 00:59:37,614
But if it's just like a oh, I

1647
00:59:37,614 --> 00:59:39,855
know I could use litter box. I just

1648
00:59:39,855 --> 00:59:42,989
don't fucking feel like it. Yeah. Yeah. It's

1649
00:59:43,049 --> 00:59:44,989
hard to be sympathetic

1650
00:59:45,369 --> 00:59:46,429
and understanding

1651
00:59:46,809 --> 00:59:47,549
and kind.

1652
00:59:48,489 --> 00:59:50,510
JB watched L. A. P. On something

1653
00:59:50,889 --> 00:59:52,349
the other day. I don't remember

1654
00:59:52,809 --> 00:59:54,664
what I just remember you being I I

1655
00:59:54,664 --> 00:59:56,505
I was very annoyed. I was,

1656
00:59:58,105 --> 00:59:59,324
sitting in in the

1657
00:59:59,625 --> 01:00:01,625
back room. And she just peed on the

1658
01:00:01,625 --> 01:00:03,545
corner again. And I was sitting there doing

1659
01:00:03,545 --> 01:00:05,244
some doing stuff on the computer,

1660
01:00:05,704 --> 01:00:06,025
and,

1661
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,640
I turn around and I see her walking

1662
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:11,320
in. She walks all the way to the

1663
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:13,980
far corner. She looks at me, squats down.

1664
01:00:16,119 --> 01:00:19,400
And so JB, rightfully so, was pissed. Was

1665
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:23,054
pissed. Now JB and I handle our anger

1666
01:00:23,054 --> 01:00:23,554
differently.

1667
01:00:24,335 --> 01:00:24,835
I,

1668
01:00:25,135 --> 01:00:27,074
being who I am, y'all know,

1669
01:00:27,534 --> 01:00:29,454
I try to only say exactly what I

1670
01:00:29,454 --> 01:00:31,454
mean. JB can be a little bombastic. I

1671
01:00:31,454 --> 01:00:33,214
think it's the Italian in him. He's like

1672
01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,054
what the fuck? You're right. So he's like

1673
01:00:35,054 --> 01:00:36,969
that goddamn cat. And I'm like, and I

1674
01:00:36,969 --> 01:00:38,489
can't remember exactly what you said, but my

1675
01:00:38,489 --> 01:00:40,170
response was, and what do you propose we

1676
01:00:40,170 --> 01:00:41,309
do with her?

1677
01:00:42,170 --> 01:00:43,769
Like, what is the solution? And then he

1678
01:00:43,769 --> 01:00:45,390
didn't wanna talk to me anymore

1679
01:00:45,690 --> 01:00:48,730
because I was like, well, let's be solution

1680
01:00:48,730 --> 01:00:50,275
focused. And he was like, I just wanna

1681
01:00:50,275 --> 01:00:52,434
be mad right now. Just let me be

1682
01:00:52,434 --> 01:00:54,835
mad. I remember they're going, no. I don't

1683
01:00:54,835 --> 01:00:55,574
like that.

1684
01:00:59,235 --> 01:01:01,315
You're gonna be mad. Take us somewhere else

1685
01:01:01,315 --> 01:01:01,815
because

1686
01:01:02,114 --> 01:01:04,960
I'm gonna be looking for solutions, and I

1687
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:07,219
don't think there is a solution right now.

1688
01:01:07,280 --> 01:01:08,880
No. There's I I know. I I know.

1689
01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:10,579
It's the it's the it's the it's

1690
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:12,260
the frustration.

1691
01:01:12,719 --> 01:01:14,960
I know. And yeah. You know, it's probably

1692
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:17,039
healthier that you let your frustration show, and

1693
01:01:17,039 --> 01:01:18,014
I just sort of

1694
01:01:18,974 --> 01:01:20,835
I I'm constantly loosening

1695
01:01:21,214 --> 01:01:21,875
my jaw.

1696
01:01:22,574 --> 01:01:24,255
My jaw just sort of stays clenched, and

1697
01:01:24,255 --> 01:01:25,694
I I don't realize I don't I don't

1698
01:01:25,694 --> 01:01:27,635
even think about it. There's a creator,

1699
01:01:28,255 --> 01:01:30,174
I see I see on Instagram. I'm sure

1700
01:01:30,174 --> 01:01:31,074
he's on TikTok.

1701
01:01:31,694 --> 01:01:32,194
And,

1702
01:01:33,214 --> 01:01:35,210
he's got a whole thing about he's currently

1703
01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:37,389
a stay at home dad, six month old,

1704
01:01:37,609 --> 01:01:39,050
two and a half, three year old, like

1705
01:01:39,050 --> 01:01:42,190
little, like two under, like very young children.

1706
01:01:43,050 --> 01:01:44,569
And so he'll be showing his day about

1707
01:01:44,569 --> 01:01:45,849
how he's clean as this up or he's

1708
01:01:45,849 --> 01:01:47,050
doing that or he's working on this or

1709
01:01:47,050 --> 01:01:49,835
whatever. And then so usually about twice in,

1710
01:01:50,315 --> 01:01:52,554
in his video, he'll go, unclench your jaw.

1711
01:01:52,554 --> 01:01:54,234
You're not in trouble. Nobody's mad at you.

1712
01:01:54,234 --> 01:01:55,675
And every time he says unclench your jaw,

1713
01:01:55,675 --> 01:01:57,114
I just I just relax my jaw. I'm

1714
01:01:57,114 --> 01:01:58,335
like, oh, yeah. Thank you.

1715
01:01:58,795 --> 01:02:00,255
I should I should follow

1716
01:02:01,730 --> 01:02:03,409
I should follow you, like, so I could

1717
01:02:03,409 --> 01:02:05,329
get this advice every day. Yes. I get

1718
01:02:05,329 --> 01:02:06,070
your job.

1719
01:02:08,530 --> 01:02:09,589
I can report

1720
01:02:10,210 --> 01:02:11,030
that Onyx

1721
01:02:11,570 --> 01:02:13,989
let me pick her up and hold her

1722
01:02:14,445 --> 01:02:16,704
for about two seconds this morning.

1723
01:02:17,085 --> 01:02:19,085
So when I want Onyx to move from

1724
01:02:19,085 --> 01:02:20,684
wherever she is, it typically is when I'm

1725
01:02:20,684 --> 01:02:22,445
making the bed, which was the situation this

1726
01:02:22,445 --> 01:02:24,285
morning, or when she's sitting in my seat

1727
01:02:24,285 --> 01:02:25,825
at the dining room table,

1728
01:02:26,525 --> 01:02:27,905
I just put my hands

1729
01:02:28,285 --> 01:02:30,890
near her torso as if I'm gonna lift

1730
01:02:30,890 --> 01:02:32,489
her, and she takes off like a shot.

1731
01:02:32,489 --> 01:02:33,630
She don't like that shit.

1732
01:02:34,010 --> 01:02:35,450
She's on the bed this morning, and she

1733
01:02:35,450 --> 01:02:36,650
had been on the bed with me while

1734
01:02:36,650 --> 01:02:37,690
I was laying in bed. I did not

1735
01:02:37,690 --> 01:02:38,650
wanna get out of the bed. It was

1736
01:02:38,650 --> 01:02:40,570
too cold. I was too cozy. I stayed

1737
01:02:40,570 --> 01:02:43,005
there way longer than usual. And she, like,

1738
01:02:43,005 --> 01:02:44,525
was all on me. She was purring. She's

1739
01:02:44,525 --> 01:02:46,045
letting me pet her. She was a little

1740
01:02:46,045 --> 01:02:46,704
bit cuddly

1741
01:02:47,085 --> 01:02:49,085
to the extent that onyx can be cuddly,

1742
01:02:49,085 --> 01:02:50,545
which same girl.

1743
01:02:51,324 --> 01:02:53,244
But I got I finally got up, and

1744
01:02:53,244 --> 01:02:54,944
I make the bed in the morning

1745
01:02:55,724 --> 01:02:57,244
before I start my day. It's, like, the

1746
01:02:57,244 --> 01:02:58,464
very first thing I do.

1747
01:02:58,869 --> 01:03:01,269
And she's in the middle just lounging and

1748
01:03:01,269 --> 01:03:03,670
I'm like, girl, this cover is I gotta

1749
01:03:03,670 --> 01:03:05,670
straighten it. I can't I cannot have a

1750
01:03:05,670 --> 01:03:07,909
lumpy cover. We gotta fix this. So I

1751
01:03:07,909 --> 01:03:09,670
figure I'll put my hands out to her.

1752
01:03:09,670 --> 01:03:12,150
She's facing me. This was not behind her.

1753
01:03:12,150 --> 01:03:14,755
Put my hands to towards her torso as

1754
01:03:14,755 --> 01:03:16,035
if I was going to pick her up,

1755
01:03:16,035 --> 01:03:17,715
and she'd dart away because that's what she

1756
01:03:17,715 --> 01:03:19,554
does. She did not dart away. And so

1757
01:03:19,554 --> 01:03:21,335
I was like, this is the great experiment,

1758
01:03:21,394 --> 01:03:23,235
and I let my hands come around her.

1759
01:03:23,235 --> 01:03:25,809
Oh, she was so soft and warm. And

1760
01:03:25,809 --> 01:03:27,969
then I started actually picking her up, and

1761
01:03:27,969 --> 01:03:29,969
she allowed it. She was confused, but she

1762
01:03:29,969 --> 01:03:30,789
allowed it.

1763
01:03:31,170 --> 01:03:32,929
And it was when I went to draw

1764
01:03:32,929 --> 01:03:33,909
her in,

1765
01:03:34,289 --> 01:03:36,609
she was fucking done. She was done and

1766
01:03:36,609 --> 01:03:37,809
she was gone. And I let her go,

1767
01:03:37,809 --> 01:03:38,824
like, I wouldn't, wouldn't,

1768
01:03:40,885 --> 01:03:42,164
you know Yeah. Consent fucking matters. But I

1769
01:03:42,164 --> 01:03:43,525
I got I got to hold her for,

1770
01:03:43,525 --> 01:03:44,344
like, a whole,

1771
01:03:44,724 --> 01:03:46,025
like, two seconds.

1772
01:03:48,804 --> 01:03:49,304
Yeah.

1773
01:03:50,005 --> 01:03:50,505
So

1774
01:03:51,844 --> 01:03:53,519
that was a highlight of my day.

1775
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,280
Anything else you got going on? Most most

1776
01:04:01,280 --> 01:04:02,480
of the stuff I wanna talk about is

1777
01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:04,099
saved for Friday. But Yeah.

1778
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:06,019
You've been bringing me product.

1779
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:08,099
Yeah. I've been very busy. Mhmm.

1780
01:04:08,505 --> 01:04:10,824
Very busy in the shop. Silent says, find

1781
01:04:10,824 --> 01:04:12,025
me a Gen X that doesn't have a

1782
01:04:12,025 --> 01:04:13,625
sore jaw or sore shoulders. Guess what? I

1783
01:04:13,625 --> 01:04:16,184
have both. And a sore spot. Now not

1784
01:04:16,184 --> 01:04:17,545
my neck, but just below my neck where

1785
01:04:17,545 --> 01:04:19,224
there's that muscle that every time a doctor

1786
01:04:19,224 --> 01:04:20,744
touches it, they go, oh my god. That's

1787
01:04:20,744 --> 01:04:20,940
tight.

1788
01:04:22,059 --> 01:04:22,559
Uh-huh.

1789
01:04:23,659 --> 01:04:26,000
No. I I I know. Yeah.

1790
01:04:27,099 --> 01:04:27,599
Yeah.

1791
01:04:29,900 --> 01:04:32,219
Yeah. I've just been keeping busy doing stuff

1792
01:04:32,219 --> 01:04:33,440
around the house and

1793
01:04:34,300 --> 01:04:35,679
working, making stuff.

1794
01:04:37,795 --> 01:04:38,835
Yeah. I,

1795
01:04:39,315 --> 01:04:41,394
I've been doing exactly what needs to get

1796
01:04:41,394 --> 01:04:43,255
done and then struggling to do

1797
01:04:43,954 --> 01:04:45,335
above and beyond stuff.

1798
01:04:47,155 --> 01:04:49,394
I did figure out what was slowing me

1799
01:04:49,394 --> 01:04:51,335
down in the research part for the neurodivergent

1800
01:04:51,554 --> 01:04:54,197
series I wanna do. I was the book

1801
01:04:54,197 --> 01:04:56,866
I was going through and reading to, you

1802
01:04:56,866 --> 01:04:59,535
know, get some greater understanding, I did not

1803
01:04:59,535 --> 01:05:02,204
enjoy the book. And I understand that a

1804
01:05:02,204 --> 01:05:04,872
different person with a different brain would go,

1805
01:05:04,872 --> 01:05:07,541
well, just start another one. Just either don't

1806
01:05:07,541 --> 01:05:08,755
finish it or come back to that later

1807
01:05:08,755 --> 01:05:10,195
and start another one. That's not how I

1808
01:05:10,195 --> 01:05:11,815
operate. I started that book.

1809
01:05:12,114 --> 01:05:13,715
I have to finish that book before I

1810
01:05:13,715 --> 01:05:15,474
can start the episode. Damn well gonna finish

1811
01:05:15,474 --> 01:05:16,135
that book.

1812
01:05:17,155 --> 01:05:18,994
And that's not universally true. One of the

1813
01:05:18,994 --> 01:05:19,889
books I got,

1814
01:05:20,369 --> 01:05:22,469
I truly did skim it because I knew

1815
01:05:22,529 --> 01:05:24,289
I knew within, like, the first page, I

1816
01:05:24,289 --> 01:05:26,690
was like, this is this is not written

1817
01:05:26,690 --> 01:05:28,369
in a way that I can read it.

1818
01:05:28,369 --> 01:05:29,349
It's not happening.

1819
01:05:29,650 --> 01:05:30,929
So I did just skim it for, like,

1820
01:05:30,929 --> 01:05:32,369
the highlights. I knew what I was looking

1821
01:05:32,369 --> 01:05:34,069
for, and I wanted to get that information.

1822
01:05:34,445 --> 01:05:36,445
But this you know, the other books I've

1823
01:05:36,445 --> 01:05:38,304
got are books I also want to read

1824
01:05:38,364 --> 01:05:39,184
for me,

1825
01:05:40,764 --> 01:05:42,304
for my personal benefit.

1826
01:05:43,485 --> 01:05:44,465
Yeah. So

1827
01:05:47,300 --> 01:05:47,800
anyway.

1828
01:05:53,460 --> 01:05:56,179
No. Silent. I have not read Katie O'Sourcer's

1829
01:05:56,179 --> 01:05:56,900
book. I can

1830
01:05:57,539 --> 01:05:57,780
not

1831
01:05:58,500 --> 01:06:00,179
is her book still on pre order or

1832
01:06:00,179 --> 01:06:01,664
is it out? But I the books I

1833
01:06:01,664 --> 01:06:02,644
have are from the library.

1834
01:06:03,025 --> 01:06:03,525
So

1835
01:06:04,385 --> 01:06:06,625
I don't our library is probably not gonna

1836
01:06:06,625 --> 01:06:08,644
be quick to get that one. Yeah.

1837
01:06:09,105 --> 01:06:11,664
I actually have to read the physical books

1838
01:06:11,664 --> 01:06:12,164
because

1839
01:06:12,465 --> 01:06:14,579
I could not get the ebook through the

1840
01:06:14,579 --> 01:06:16,599
Libby app through my library card.

1841
01:06:17,619 --> 01:06:18,119
Because

1842
01:06:18,579 --> 01:06:20,660
our library system was like, we didn't think

1843
01:06:20,660 --> 01:06:23,140
anybody would ever even want that book. I'm

1844
01:06:23,140 --> 01:06:24,820
like, yeah, I do. I would prefer to

1845
01:06:24,820 --> 01:06:26,980
read an ebook. I would be oh did

1846
01:06:26,980 --> 01:06:28,525
it already come out in September? Okay. I

1847
01:06:28,525 --> 01:06:30,224
must have seen an old reel

1848
01:06:30,605 --> 01:06:32,364
that came up or an old TikTok because

1849
01:06:32,364 --> 01:06:33,644
she was talking about preorders. And I was

1850
01:06:33,644 --> 01:06:35,804
like, oh, okay. I I had thought her

1851
01:06:35,804 --> 01:06:36,765
book was out and then I saw that.

1852
01:06:36,765 --> 01:06:38,065
It must have been an old one.

1853
01:06:38,364 --> 01:06:39,965
So I'll double check it, but I don't

1854
01:06:39,965 --> 01:06:41,369
think it's available at the library.

1855
01:06:42,970 --> 01:06:43,210
So

1856
01:06:43,930 --> 01:06:45,210
but there are I have a list of

1857
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:47,210
books I want to get that I that

1858
01:06:47,210 --> 01:06:48,349
are not at the library.

1859
01:06:50,730 --> 01:06:52,510
So those will be probably supplemental,

1860
01:06:53,849 --> 01:06:54,349
later.

1861
01:06:54,730 --> 01:06:54,970
But

1862
01:06:56,684 --> 01:06:58,224
so anyway yeah. I'm

1863
01:06:58,684 --> 01:06:59,184
finally

1864
01:06:59,644 --> 01:07:01,005
finished through that book I didn't like, and

1865
01:07:01,005 --> 01:07:02,605
now I think I'll go a lot faster

1866
01:07:02,605 --> 01:07:04,364
through this. Through the rest. Because the rest

1867
01:07:04,364 --> 01:07:06,045
in looking through them, like, oh, yeah. These

1868
01:07:06,045 --> 01:07:07,805
are books I I really wanna read. You

1869
01:07:07,805 --> 01:07:08,305
know?

1870
01:07:09,485 --> 01:07:09,805
So

1871
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:12,500
anyway

1872
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:18,800
yeah. I mean, I don't really have much

1873
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:20,480
that's not just boring old work, but, like,

1874
01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:22,640
actual boring part of what of our work,

1875
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:23,380
not, like,

1876
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:25,965
fun great times that, you know, I think

1877
01:07:25,965 --> 01:07:27,244
are boring, but y'all would be like, no.

1878
01:07:27,244 --> 01:07:28,684
I actually think it's passing. No. It's actually

1879
01:07:28,684 --> 01:07:29,184
boring.

1880
01:07:29,485 --> 01:07:32,144
So, I've I've been making, like,

1881
01:07:32,445 --> 01:07:32,945
doing,

1882
01:07:34,125 --> 01:07:34,625
price,

1883
01:07:35,325 --> 01:07:38,045
estimates cost estimates for a project I wanna

1884
01:07:38,045 --> 01:07:38,545
do.

1885
01:07:39,929 --> 01:07:41,949
And then I'm trying to figure out sales

1886
01:07:42,010 --> 01:07:44,329
numbers, and I've gotta pull a report about

1887
01:07:44,489 --> 01:07:46,570
see, it's it's boring. Somebody out there would

1888
01:07:46,570 --> 01:07:48,090
be like, oh, that's totally my jam, but

1889
01:07:48,090 --> 01:07:50,010
it's it's not enough of y'all for me

1890
01:07:50,010 --> 01:07:51,849
to go into it. Tay Tayeshew said it

1891
01:07:51,849 --> 01:07:53,929
right. Unfortunately, our library system is in a

1892
01:07:53,929 --> 01:07:56,505
state which is one step below book burning.

1893
01:07:56,505 --> 01:07:58,744
Yep. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. For

1894
01:07:58,744 --> 01:08:01,464
sure. Yep. Sad but true. Nah. And it's

1895
01:08:01,464 --> 01:08:02,844
just getting worse here in Florida.

1896
01:08:03,144 --> 01:08:06,045
Florida just for anybody who keeps up with

1897
01:08:06,184 --> 01:08:08,670
news to any US news to any extent,

1898
01:08:08,829 --> 01:08:09,650
Florida just

1899
01:08:10,030 --> 01:08:13,069
passed the Florida version of the SAFE Act

1900
01:08:13,309 --> 01:08:15,869
Yeah. Which the federal government congress has been

1901
01:08:15,869 --> 01:08:17,550
trying to pass and failing, thankfully

1902
01:08:17,949 --> 01:08:20,270
Mhmm. For a while. Don't worry. Florida's got

1903
01:08:20,270 --> 01:08:23,630
us fucking covered. Yeah. It's already lawsuits already

1904
01:08:23,630 --> 01:08:25,524
been brought Yeah. For it. So whatever. But

1905
01:08:25,684 --> 01:08:27,764
yeah. Yeah. Bay basically, the way it's written,

1906
01:08:27,764 --> 01:08:30,965
it would it eliminates online registration for voting.

1907
01:08:30,965 --> 01:08:33,064
Just makes it harder harder to vote. And

1908
01:08:33,444 --> 01:08:34,585
it pretty much eliminates,

1909
01:08:35,204 --> 01:08:37,364
mailing. It air quote fixes a problem that

1910
01:08:37,364 --> 01:08:38,984
doesn't exist. That doesn't exist. Yeah.

1911
01:08:39,590 --> 01:08:42,710
Out of all of the voter registered voters

1912
01:08:42,710 --> 01:08:44,889
in Florida, and there are millions,

1913
01:08:45,349 --> 01:08:46,649
current and previous,

1914
01:08:47,989 --> 01:08:49,769
out of all those millions

1915
01:08:50,149 --> 01:08:50,789
of people

1916
01:08:51,189 --> 01:08:53,975
Mhmm. We have a total of a 198

1917
01:08:53,975 --> 01:08:54,875
who have ever

1918
01:08:55,335 --> 01:08:57,175
read who have ever registered and they were

1919
01:08:57,175 --> 01:08:59,435
not allowed to register. That's not a fucking

1920
01:08:59,814 --> 01:09:00,314
problem.

1921
01:09:00,774 --> 01:09:02,015
Anyway, I'm not gonna get into it because

1922
01:09:02,015 --> 01:09:03,574
I don't want blood pressure to go out.

1923
01:09:03,574 --> 01:09:06,295
Yep. So And and the way I understand

1924
01:09:06,295 --> 01:09:09,029
it right now with with the state, they

1925
01:09:09,029 --> 01:09:09,529
only,

1926
01:09:09,909 --> 01:09:11,050
can really control,

1927
01:09:12,149 --> 01:09:12,810
the college

1928
01:09:13,750 --> 01:09:14,250
libraries.

1929
01:09:15,189 --> 01:09:16,250
Yeah. Aren't libraries

1930
01:09:17,350 --> 01:09:17,850
locally?

1931
01:09:18,789 --> 01:09:20,804
Our city council can control control

1932
01:09:21,505 --> 01:09:23,425
them. Silences. I feel like there's multiple libraries

1933
01:09:23,425 --> 01:09:24,704
that are all go right ahead. It's free.

1934
01:09:24,704 --> 01:09:25,824
Aren't there a bunch of states that let

1935
01:09:25,824 --> 01:09:27,184
you sign up for membership no matter where

1936
01:09:27,184 --> 01:09:27,844
you are?

1937
01:09:28,944 --> 01:09:30,944
In Florida and in the bigger ones that

1938
01:09:30,944 --> 01:09:32,224
I looked that were out of state, you

1939
01:09:32,224 --> 01:09:34,304
have to pay a fee. Yeah. An annual

1940
01:09:34,304 --> 01:09:35,920
fee. Now I was because I did look

1941
01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:37,599
that up. Could I register at other libraries

1942
01:09:37,599 --> 01:09:40,079
for free? Now in in within the state

1943
01:09:40,079 --> 01:09:40,739
of Florida,

1944
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,159
we have say, we have a,

1945
01:09:45,359 --> 01:09:47,539
library card here where we live. Mhmm.

1946
01:09:49,305 --> 01:09:51,164
Supposedly all the libraries

1947
01:09:51,625 --> 01:09:52,364
in Florida

1948
01:09:52,904 --> 01:09:53,965
talk to one another.

1949
01:09:54,425 --> 01:09:56,984
Yes. You can do interlibrary loan. Mhmm. And

1950
01:09:56,984 --> 01:09:57,484
technically,

1951
01:09:58,024 --> 01:10:00,505
with my library card, I could physically walk

1952
01:10:00,505 --> 01:10:03,090
into any county's library in Florida and get

1953
01:10:03,090 --> 01:10:05,970
a physical library card. Correct. But I could

1954
01:10:05,970 --> 01:10:09,350
not, I checked, check out their, ebooks.

1955
01:10:09,890 --> 01:10:12,130
It's only for physical books in the physical

1956
01:10:12,130 --> 01:10:13,110
library. Yeah.

1957
01:10:13,570 --> 01:10:15,354
I I mean, I I promise you I

1958
01:10:15,354 --> 01:10:17,194
looked. I haven't done it in a long

1959
01:10:17,194 --> 01:10:18,954
time, but when I when I lived down

1960
01:10:18,954 --> 01:10:19,755
on the,

1961
01:10:20,154 --> 01:10:22,234
you know, Tampa Bay area, I used to

1962
01:10:22,234 --> 01:10:23,054
go to library

1963
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:24,255
a lot

1964
01:10:24,635 --> 01:10:27,114
and could request books from other

1965
01:10:27,819 --> 01:10:29,899
libraries, and they would send them and, you

1966
01:10:29,899 --> 01:10:32,060
know, it And for physical books, that's much

1967
01:10:32,060 --> 01:10:34,619
easier. The licensing on ebooks is much more

1968
01:10:34,619 --> 01:10:35,119
complicated,

1969
01:10:35,739 --> 01:10:38,460
and it it there's depending on how an

1970
01:10:38,460 --> 01:10:39,979
ebook is licensed Mhmm. To a system, and

1971
01:10:39,979 --> 01:10:40,664
then it's

1972
01:10:41,305 --> 01:10:42,585
done in different ways, and I do not

1973
01:10:42,585 --> 01:10:44,444
know the specifics. But in some cases,

1974
01:10:44,744 --> 01:10:46,284
it can be very expensive

1975
01:10:47,704 --> 01:10:48,204
to,

1976
01:10:49,145 --> 01:10:49,885
loan out

1977
01:10:50,824 --> 01:10:52,984
too many ebooks. So you get multiple multiple

1978
01:10:52,984 --> 01:10:55,704
licenses or whatever. And so from the pay

1979
01:10:55,784 --> 01:10:58,079
the fact pages I was reading on all

1980
01:10:58,079 --> 01:11:00,239
of the different library systems, I was checking

1981
01:11:00,239 --> 01:11:02,239
because I was trying to get to bigger

1982
01:11:02,239 --> 01:11:03,220
library systems.

1983
01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:07,060
It because it can be so expensive

1984
01:11:08,000 --> 01:11:09,140
after time,

1985
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:09,760
they

1986
01:11:10,354 --> 01:11:12,375
many of them keep their ebooks

1987
01:11:13,635 --> 01:11:16,835
for their residence or state Okay. Local or

1988
01:11:16,835 --> 01:11:18,994
state. Not all. I did not read the

1989
01:11:18,994 --> 01:11:21,235
FAQ page of every single library system in

1990
01:11:21,235 --> 01:11:23,475
The US. But the the ones here in

1991
01:11:23,475 --> 01:11:25,440
Florida that I did find that were like,

1992
01:11:25,440 --> 01:11:27,119
yes. You don't have to be local, and

1993
01:11:27,119 --> 01:11:28,739
you can get a library card here.

1994
01:11:29,119 --> 01:11:30,480
And even some of the ones out of

1995
01:11:30,480 --> 01:11:31,699
state, yeah, it was

1996
01:11:32,079 --> 01:11:32,900
it's limited.

1997
01:11:34,320 --> 01:11:35,520
So Okay.

1998
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:37,515
It was frustrating because I tried to do

1999
01:11:37,515 --> 01:11:39,295
that work around because I remember

2000
01:11:39,675 --> 01:11:40,895
a couple years ago,

2001
01:11:41,515 --> 01:11:44,574
information going viral on the the

2002
01:11:44,954 --> 01:11:45,695
on Bookstagram

2003
01:11:46,555 --> 01:11:48,074
or BookTok because that's where they all get

2004
01:11:48,074 --> 01:11:50,250
posted first about how, oh, yeah. Get your

2005
01:11:50,250 --> 01:11:51,770
Libby get the Libby app, and then get

2006
01:11:51,770 --> 01:11:53,210
all these library cards, and then you get

2007
01:11:53,210 --> 01:11:54,329
access to all these books. And I was

2008
01:11:54,329 --> 01:11:56,010
like, maybe a few years ago it was

2009
01:11:56,010 --> 01:11:58,329
easier, but a lot of libraries have wised

2010
01:11:58,329 --> 01:12:00,329
the fuck up. Yeah. And they will let

2011
01:12:00,329 --> 01:12:01,529
you do it, but then you have to

2012
01:12:01,529 --> 01:12:03,655
pay a fee. And I was like,

2013
01:12:04,275 --> 01:12:06,435
it for the money I would save, it's

2014
01:12:06,435 --> 01:12:08,595
a good deal, but I didn't have that

2015
01:12:08,595 --> 01:12:09,494
$50.

2016
01:12:09,795 --> 01:12:11,015
At the time. Yeah.

2017
01:12:11,715 --> 01:12:13,015
Yeah. I know. Yeah.

2018
01:12:14,435 --> 01:12:15,494
Anyway. Anyhoo.

2019
01:12:17,795 --> 01:12:19,349
Mhmm. Are we,

2020
01:12:19,789 --> 01:12:20,289
good?

2021
01:12:21,710 --> 01:12:23,550
Get on with their Yeah. I still have

2022
01:12:23,550 --> 01:12:26,050
to cook dinner. I know. I've already

2023
01:12:27,389 --> 01:12:28,989
done a lot of good dishes. So I

2024
01:12:28,989 --> 01:12:30,289
know. I appreciate you.

2025
01:12:30,885 --> 01:12:32,724
We're gonna go. Yeah. Thank y'all for being

2026
01:12:32,724 --> 01:12:35,125
here, especially to the bitter end. Yep. Hopefully,

2027
01:12:35,125 --> 01:12:37,064
we'll see you Friday, 8PM eastern,

2028
01:12:37,444 --> 01:12:39,844
March 20 for podcast listeners. That's the day

2029
01:12:39,844 --> 01:12:41,224
this episode comes out.

2030
01:12:42,965 --> 01:12:45,604
So, yeah, we're gonna we're gonna go. Okay.

2031
01:12:45,604 --> 01:12:47,909
We'll talk to y'all on Friday. Yep. Okay.

2032
01:12:47,970 --> 01:12:49,430
Alright. Bye. Bye.