You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode
four seventy four. K. The Lord's here with
the one, the only, the I'm so glad
you indulge me in some but not all
of my whims. Although, I wish you did
indulge me in all of my whims because
I have great ideas. John Brownstone.
There is not that much Diet Coke in
the world to indulge you in your whims.
I mean, I'm
I'm fairly,
the word is wrong because it's
I don't mean this politically. Do not mean
this politically. I'm fairly conservative in my whims.
Okay? I don't really dream big.
I've been broke too much in my life.
So I feel like you could safely indulge
all of my whims. Not all of my
whims are Diet Coke related.
Just saying.
Anyway,
in a weird way, that's kind of what
we are doing this week.
So,
we,
a couple days ago, looked at one another
and went, yeah. We're not cut we're disconnected
when we don't like that. So we're gonna
reconnect in
previous episode
by answering silly, lighthearted, and or random relationship
questions we found on IG, where it seems
this account and the app that it has,
its entire purpose is to get you to
answer
crazy ass questions. So we're gonna do this.
Some of that.
Welcome
to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is
your first time listening, glad to have you.
If you're back for another week, welcome back.
Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and Friday
for your kinky pleasure and education. Show notes
are found at lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add
the podcast to your favorite podcast app.
What? How do words work?
This is where I was supposed to tell
you to please rate and review.
I lost my train of thought. JB made
a noise off to the side, and, like,
a squirrel. I was like, what?
For anybody who's new, yeah, it's like this
all the time. You're back on track, girl.
Trying.
You can follow the show at Fetlife on
Fetlife,
at loving BDSM
PC. The PC stands for podcast.
On Instagram and technically threads, so that handle
I will forever fucking hate. It's loving d
s and the number one. So at loving
d s one. On blue sky at loving
BDSM dot blah de blah de blah. Or
on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm
where you can watch us live stream the
podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the
show notes.
Okay. So before,
we get into
this week's episode,
we are in our absolute
last few days for YouTube folk
and last couple of days for podcast listeners,
assuming you're listening on Friday,
of our Patreon membership drive. Sorry. I'm I'm
not
I wish y'all could see what JB is
doing off camera.
We will talk about that in a minute.
I gotta, like, keep my flow going even
though I wanna laugh at JB so hard.
I understand what he's doing and why, but
it was still funny. Anyway,
our Patreon membership drive, the
the reason to sign up now sign up
at all, but sign up now is we're
sending,
goodies in the mail.
The goal is April.
If you,
maintain your membership or sign up, during our
membership drive, which ends February 28, that is,
I believe, this Saturday, if that's how dates
still work. Y'all know I get confused by
them.
You join our Patreon for as little as
$2 a month. You get access to our
Discord server
while we still have one
since Discord's being weird about identity stuff. I
still
haven't figured all that out, parsed it all
out.
We do
we alternate every month between a game night
and a movie night. For the month of
February, it was a game night. In March,
it'll be a movie night. I don't know
which movie yet. Depends on which one I
can get my hands on. And then you
get access to a behind the scenes podcast
episode every month where we are
discussing the state of our relationship and what
we're doing to
maintain it, work on it, improve it, all
that good stuff. And that is you get
all of that for as little as $2
a month. If you join at the 2
and the $5 tier, you get extra stuff.
Stuff. If you're the $5 tier, you will
receive a loving BDSM sticker pack in the
mail as your goodie. If you join at
the $10 a month tier, you get everything
we offer, which includes full access to every
digital download thing I've ever created, coloring books,
workbooks, planner sheets, all that. You don't have
to pay any extra for them. And you
will receive our enamel pin, PIN pin,
in the mail as the membership drive goodie.
That this year is
a picture of spanked butt.
Very femme presenting
spanked butt, but a spanked butt. I'm I'm
very excited about that. I've wanted that to
be a pin for a few years now.
If you join during our membership drive, again,
ends February 28, and you join as an
annual member, which means you pay one time
and you've got access for the whole year,
you get two months free. So you pay
for ten months, get access for twelve months.
Patreon.com/kaylalords.
Link in the places.
Hope you can join us. You there have
been times our Patreon has kept our lights
on. We really, really appreciated that.
We hope we give as much as we
receive.
And,
yeah. It ends February
28,
which is, I believe, Saturday, if that's how
dates work. I don't really know. We know
I suck at dates.
I'm just sort of having come to
terms with the fact that dates and time,
not my strong suit. I'm okay with numbers
in general, but dates and time are not
nope.
Nope. Gonna be bad at them. Always always.
Just I try.
So
that is the one announcement. We're gonna get
into these questions.
So, apparently, there is an app
called Flamingo,
Flamingo card.
I forgot to link it in YouTube, and
it will be linked, for podcast listeners by
the time you can hear this.
Their whole thing apparently is,
getting people who have the app to have
deep or fun or whatever conversations with their
partner
or their friends. And so part of their
promotion for their app is they post questions
on Instagram.
And I went through I came across them
randomly at some point. They don't know we
exist.
This is not, like, in coordination. It's just
I found it and thought, I like this.
And some of the questions actually kinda cracked
me up. I was like, I wonder what
JB would say.
Now at the same time, we've just had
kind of a hectic couple of weeks. Got
back from traveling. I I'm almost gonna say
I think JB and I experienced a little
bit of drop post
travels. Mhmm.
And he
was talking to me,
Sunday into Monday, and,
basically, how are we doing? And I'm like,
I am very disconnected to, like, all humanity
right now. I'm not but especially you, and
I don't like this disconnection. He's like, I
don't like disconnection either. And there
are many things to do to reconnect.
I thought we would continue on,
with a thing we've done a few times
now. But, also, it technically kind of goes
hand in hand with an old episode, not
that old, like, several weeks ago, on love
maps, which is just learning more about your
partner. And these questions allow us to do
how well do we know our partner?
What can we come up with from our
imagination based on what we know about our
partner?
So that is,
that's kind of the where this is coming
from. I wanted to do something lighthearted
and silly because
it's
we reconnect faster
when we're laughing. I mean, we can reconnect
without laughter. It does happen, but it's quicker
and easier,
when we get the giggles. So hopefully, this
will inspire that.
Also, speaking of love maps, in the love
map episode from several weeks ago, I talked
about kink maps, and that was a little
bit part of the conversation.
I made an activity
for building your air quote kink map. It
is currently only available through our Patreon at
the $10 level as a as a digital
download because that's what $10 folks get access
to all digital downloads that I create at
no additional charge. I haven't put it out
anywhere because I don't quite know how I
wanna do that yet.
That's on my list for
soon ish,
ideally sometime in 2026.
So, yeah, I have not given up on
the idea of love maps and kink maps,
and
this is just
part of that one. Okay.
So these questions,
some are rapid fire, some require discussion. Mhmm.
The first three are technically
multiple choice, but I don't always like the
choices I'm given with multiple choice. So I
added a pick something else kinda thing. So
we're gonna answer these for each of each
other. That's how words Okay.
What's the first time you ever felt protective
of me, JB? Was it someone was being
rude, it was a late night, I was
sick, I cried, or something else?
Oh, I gotta think about that one, Nance.
Do you wanna think? And I'll tell you
mine. Mhmm.
It was the first time one of your
family members was shitty to you.
I am not a violent woman. I am
not a confrontational woman, but I could have
been both.
It's probably a good thing you kept them
away from me or kept I kept myself
away from them. I don't know which because
I don't I don't defend myself well. I
don't worry about I don't think about that
kind of stuff. I'm really bad at confrontation.
But I was, yeah, I was ready to
go toe to toe with your entire ass
damn family.
That I I recall that so
clearly. It's
not hard because, man, some of your family
really fucking sucks.
They do. I I can't easy. I can't
deny that.
So Cannot deny that at all. Think of
a time when you
felt okay. It's it it's not the first
time. Okay. I know that for sure. Mhmm.
But it is the time that sticks
in my head. Okay.
The the last time we stayed at a
certain place in Mississippi. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
It was the last time we were allowed
to, quite frankly. Yeah.
Yeah. Because it was all directed all that
rage was directed at me. Like, you were
there, but it was like, let me put
you down.
Well, he he did it through me.
Mhmm.
Yeah. He did. But then when he got
face to face with me, then it was
yeah. That sucked. Okay. These are not lighthearted
or silly. Let's Nope. Let's move
the
fuck
on.
What is my most lovable flaw? Clingy,
stubborn, dramatic, I did not like this one,
but I put it for accuracy, jealous,
or something else. I don't think being jealous,
is
it's a flaw. Is it lovable? I would
have to say,
when you get the zoomies at night before
we go to sleep.
So you don't just find that adorable in
general? It's it's like, oh, it's adorable. But
also, could you stop? Is that is that
what I gave her today?
There we go. There is some night I
just wanna roll over and go to sleep.
But I'm not ready. I know, Tracy. I
know. I know.
Then I've had to keep it together all
day.
This is my moment, and you're not here.
I wanna be with you.
Okay. So your most lovable flaw?
Oh, dear.
We all have flaws.
They're lovable until they're not.
But it is when you're you're polar bear
grumpy grumpy polar bear
and you still have a sense of humor.
So when you were too in your head
with your grumpiness,
it's not lovable at all. It is everybody
get the hell away from JB. Yeah. But
when I can tease you about it,
I still don't want you to be grumpy
with me. Right.
But but it's kind of funny. It's here's
here's the signal. I'll I'll
here's the signal. I'll I'll say something
about grumpy polar bear, and JB will go,
grasp, grasp, grasp, grasp, grasp.
Yep. I just
that would
Okay. What's
a little habit of mine you secretly love?
Here are the options that they gave, but
we'll come up with our own shit. Mhmm.
Steal your fries, leave voice notes, I don't
do that shit. Random dances,
over explaining,
or something
else. Something else.
Actually, there's two of them. Oh, gosh. Okay.
Okay. Mhmm. One is your
random little dances. I just start moving. I
don't even know if I'm doing it. So
I'll be walking by and put this beat.
You know, there's no music playing and nothing.
She's just like bopping.
I've got a song on loop. And you're
and you're just bopping away.
And what's And and the other one,
I don't think it started
intentionally.
Okay. Okay.
But and it happens mostly again at night
before we're when we're getting ready for bed.
When I finally relax. Yeah.
You
make that Tina noise.
Stop.
Okay. If you for anybody doesn't know, Bob's
Bob's Burgers,
we started watching it several months ago. Yeah.
Louise is my favorite character,
but I relate to Tina way too hard.
And sometimes when I'm thinking, especially if I'm
or I'm about to do something I don't
really want to do, but I'm
think I will make a noise. I'll go
and, actually, I do it as as a
little bit of a distress sound. I go,
like that.
But it sounds like the way Tina Belcher
does it in Bob's Burgers. And I'll be
like, okay, Tina.
It is true.
I now actually catch myself doing it and
then go, oh my god. He's gonna call
me Tina, and I stop. But I also
just do it, and I don't think about
it because I've made that kind of noise
my whole
life. Not necessarily where people can hear me
even.
Now I'm reminded why.
Okay. A little habit of yours that I
secretly
love.
I have to think.
You
I hate to say there's a few habits
you have that I don't love. That's what's
coming to mind.
Oh, dear. I'm an only child who never
had to learn how to share. I don't
like it when you steal my fries. Thank
you very much. It really does piss me
off. Yeah.
You know what? I
I laugh my ass off for a multitude
of reasons, but I actually do
kind of secretly love when you are
in the garage, in the shop, mowing the
lawn. You got your noise canceling earbuds in,
and you're listening to I never know what
song it is, but you are singing it
as if you are on stage.
It's like your with your whole chest, you
sang that song. You went for the high
notes. You went for the low notes.
You did backup singing,
the whole neighborhood
knows your singing voice. What can I say?
I'm here to entertain you. I think the
part I like about it is you have
so few fucks. You're like, I don't give
a fuck if all the neighbors, including across
the street, can hear me singing.
It does help that you do not have
a bad singing voice. If it was, like,
me singing,
I don't know that I would find it
so lovable.
Okay.
Okay. So the next questions Mhmm.
Are not,
multiple choice. K.
If you lost me in a supermarket, where's
the first place you'd look?
I would have to say either the deli
or the bakery.
That's probably true. Not sure what I'd be
looking at at the deli well, no. I
probably have the munchies and I'd be looking
at snacks in the deli.
You'd be looking at those rotisserie chickens.
Oh god. I could go for a rotisserie
chicken.
I know where I'd look for you, and
I'd find you. Mhmm. Bathroom.
If you cannot find JB on any shopping
trip you're on, he's probably Pretty much too.
In that.
Okay. If we had to switch our our
lives for the day Mhmm. I be you,
you be me,
what do you think I'd struggle with the
most trying to be you?
Go ahead. If it's pee standing up, that's
probably true. Probably
the way I just kind of I don't
have
a deep method of doing the things I
do. I just kinda, you know, knock it
out and blow through it. Oh, you would
come back to your body and have so
many to do like this.
Yeah.
You would have an org there'd probably be
a procedural manual for how everything is done
by the time you got back. Yeah.
Okay. So I know what you would struggle
with.
It is keeping
outside of work
all the life stuff organized.
Who has the next appointment? Where do you
need to be? What time do you have
to leave to get there in time? Where
are you going after? What is the routine
so the youngest child who does not handle
the routine not going correctly,
not have a meltdown? Also, when do we
have to be where with what? And what
are we having for dinner? And who's cooking
tonight? Yeah. I'm pretty sure you would lose
your fucking mind. I am, you know,
I have always had a problem with that.
And, you know, calendars
my whole life has been my friend. Mhmm.
Okay? Mhmm.
But,
even with that
Yeah. No. I can't keep up with it.
I
my god. For a while there, I just
me alone was having so many
appointments and then with everybody else's, I kept
getting them all across. I know. That's why
it had me to keep me on track.
Yeah. I would've never been where I needed
to be. They're on on the
heavy weeks, the amount of text message notifications,
reminders I get and or pick this up
and or here's your code for this thing
you had to sign in for and or
yeah. You'd run screaming. I'm pretty sure.
Okay.
If you had to change my legal name,
what would you call me?
Baby girl. Oh, I love that. You're gonna
hate my answer. Oh, boy.
Oh,
dear. Oh, dear.
It'll be GrumpyPolarBear.
Well,
I don't know. I hate that. I own
it.
Grumpy, polar Bear, and ground sound. I grouse
with the best of them.
That's the other one. Grouse.
Grousey McGrowserson.
Yes.
Okay.
If you could ban one thing from my
wardrobe forever,
what would it be?
Try to say it without hurting my feelings.
Okay.
I think maybe your hoodies.
Aw. They're my emotional support hoodies. I know.
They're the easiest way to hide when the
weather gets cool. I know. Actually, only one
or two fit the way I like now,
so it would not be difficult to get
rid of some of my hoodies.
Okay. I'm thinking I'm thinking in your wardrobe.
Mhmm.
You are actually it's pretty impressive. You're pretty
fastidious
based on my experience living with cis men
over my life. Like, you
you don't dress crazy
for the most part. You care about things
coordinated. You didn't know me when I was
in my Hawaiian town. Oh, no. I did
because that's where where I was gonna go.
You don't have them anymore because you phased
them out. But when we first met, you
were still in your Hawaiian church. Where that
at? Yes.
Yes. Because I recall a couple of trips
to, like, Bells and a couple other places.
And you're like, oh, this would look nice.
And I was like, oh, can I steer
him? So
and so I'm glad I don't have to
because you did it for me, but it
would a 100% have been those
Hawaiian shirt, the flowery, the the typical, like,
Florida old guy button down short sleeve shirts.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I yeah. I'm mhmm. Mhmm.
I'm glad you took care of that for
me. I really appreciate
that. Okay.
Would you rather
lose kissing for a year or cuddling forever?
Kissing for a year. Thank you. Me too.
Mhmm. Mhmm.
I'm I'm not actually a real big kisser
in general. Didn't take me
No. No. I'm gonna I can't have the
Zoomies if I can't cuddle with you. That's
right. And if I'm sad, what am I
gonna do? I gotta cuddle with you. Mhmm.
And if I'm cold, I gotta cuddle with
you. Yeah. I'm not a big kisser in
general. Like, that's not a thing I gravitate
towards. But yeah.
I don't I don't wanna cuddle with every
fucking body.
But if I wanna cuddle with you
yeah. Okay. These
are which of us? Me or you kind
of answer. So we'll kinda answer them together.
Who's more likely to plan a whole date
in their head but say nothing?
Go.
I was kinda going, yeah. I'd probably no.
I would say something. You would. Yeah. I'd
be like, hey. I've had this idea. You
couldn't keep it in there.
I would say it as if it was
spontaneous, but I had definitely mapped it all
out. Me, I'd probably plan it and go
on the date in my head. Well, no.
Here's what you would do. You would plan
it,
and then you would wanna you'd wanna go,
but you hadn't given me any,
heads up. And it'd be at a time
where I'm like, I kinda don't really wanna
go anywhere. I'm not feeling sociable right now.
So then you'd be annoyed that I was
not keeping up with your mental
plan. But you wouldn't tell me while you're
mad. You'd just be grumpy, and then I'd
be like, I don't know what his problem
is.
Yes. You're right. With you, I cannot keep
something in my head. Mm-mm. Okay.
Who's more likely to panic clean before someone
comes over?
You.
Oh, it's certain people, but yes. Yeah. Yeah.
You help me panic clean though. I do.
And you
you don't
I wouldn't call it panic clean because you
will a few days before somebody's coming, you're
already starting, and I'm like, we got eight
hours. Everybody, go go. I I no. I
start ahead of time. I want that shit
done.
Yeah. I need, I need the pressure of
deadlines to get shit done, especially if it's
stuff I don't wanna do. So I'm gonna
panic clean.
Oh, I know the answer to this one.
Who's more likely to talk to a stranger
like their best friends? Yeah. That's you. It
is.
Now for the record, we both have an
including the youngest, she has this kind of
phase too where total strangers will just look
at us and tell us their whole life
story. Unprompted.
We did not invite them in.
And that is disturbing. And when the three
of us are together out in public, it's
like the the power of that is amplified.
It's just
disturbing.
But you will take the simple polite, hey.
How you doing? And next thing I know,
I have not seen you for thirty minutes.
Couple times I've had to come out of
our house because he's talking to somebody, usually
a neighbor and often somebody we like, but
still not people we socialize with. And I
have to go, hey. You're supposed to be
doing a thing. There was a I think
it was a livestream once. Mhmm. He was
talking to our neighbor, a neighbor we like,
the neighbor who works at the animal shelter,
and that's great. We
love her. But we were supposed to, like,
go live, and I'm like,
hey. Right.
Hate to interrupt your bestie's conversation
over there. Yeah. He's the social one.
Everybody knew that, though. Right?
Okay.
Oh, I know the answer to this one.
Who's more likely to make a playlist just
for a singular mood?
Probably me. Only because you make playlists.
Okay? Well, that's not true. I have okay.
Look. We just switched from
Spotify
to Tidal. Yeah.
And we use the thing to transfer
our playlist.
And JB's telling the whole family, okay. If
you have over a certain amount of songs,
we're gonna have to pay for it, but
you pay for it then cancel the account.
It's fine. It's fine. I had 87 songs.
I'm not oh my god.
My transfer took thirty seconds.
But I I do have two playlists, and
they are mood dependent. I just don't add
music to them.
No. I have three moody playlists.
One
makes me forget I'm in my mid forties.
Two Mhmm. Thick thighs save lives. It's all
my confidence music. K. And then one is
surviving 47. Well, yeah. Bops to survive 47.
But I send you more music for your
version of that playlist You do. So that
you've got, like, lots of songs. Yeah. So,
actually, I think we're both kind of prone
to it just in different ways. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Who's more likely to forget what they were
mad about mid argument?
It's not you.
Yeah. They're not me.
It
ain't
me.
It ain't me.
It's never gonna be me. Mhmm. Here's the
thing, though. Mhmm. Once we've had the argument
and it's settled, I don't remember it again.
Like It it's really done and over?
Yeah. Like, now that was not true in
previous relationships,
but also we never actually resolved conflict.
We just did a whole recording thing that
is about conflict, but it's super secret. I
can't tell you about it just yet, but
I will. Don't worry. Coming in March.
So that was been top of mind lately,
and I was thinking about it earlier today
before we sat down to record. And I
was like, I know we have conflict. That's
not an issue. And I even know
our main themes of conflict. Right? Like, it's
gonna it used to be about parenting.
Mhmm. It will still forever be about money,
but, thankfully, that's less of a thing. But
I was thinking because I was thinking of
examples that I might cite in the thing,
blah blah blah, which doesn't matter because I'm
a have to cut it out because I'm
under a strict time thing, and I don't
know how to record in strict time things.
But, I was thinking of a time where
you said your inside thought out loud, and
it hurt my feelings. Mhmm. And we had
to have a whole thing because I was
like, you could think whatever the hell you
want, but I don't need to hear it.
I could not tell you what that thing
is.
No clue what the fuck you said. I
don't remember either. Because
I remember the I remember the moment. Yes.
So
I
because we resolve our conflicts
in a knock on wood Mhmm. Relatively decent
way Right. Most of the time, I don't
remember the details.
But when I was in previous relationships, oh,
I'd remember every detail,
and you would be hearing about it six
months, a year, three years later when it
came up again, which is not healthy, by
the way. That means that conflict was not
resolved.
But yeah. I won't forget midnight. Oh, no.
I have to think about my feelings, think
about what your feelings might be, dissect my
feelings and how I wanna handle it, and
what do I think is right and what
do I think is wrong, and did I
add to this, or am I, like, actually
not at fault this time? And I'm I'm
dissecting in the middle of the moment and
then immediately after. Cannot forget it.
Once it's done,
no fucking clue.
Done.
I know the answer to this one.
Who's more likely to fall asleep during a
movie that they chose?
Hey. I'm a power napper from way back.
Oh my god.
The amount of times I nudge because I
sit on the opposite end of the couch
for him, if Lola lets me because she
likes to sit there too. And I'll nudge
him with my foot. Like, hey. You wanted
to watch this?
You're gonna make me tell you what happened
if you don't wake up.
And I'm like, why are you counting on
me to remember those details? What the hell?
I can't handle that pressure.
Okay. We got only just a few more.
Okay.
Easy breezy episode, I think.
If I got lost in a movie theater,
where would you check for me first? Snack
bar. You are so damn fucking right. Popcorn.
Oh, hell. Yeah. Extra butter thing. Oh, no.
I haven't had that in so long. I
know how you are with movie popcorn.
Oh, and if they are at a Coke
place, not a Pepsi place, so I can
get a Diet Coke.
I would
movies of some way.
I haven't been to a movie theater in
ages.
So
I'm gonna find you.
I'm gonna check the bathroom first. Yeah. Because
if we were sitting and watching the previews
and you had your little drinky drink, you
probably would have to go. But
if I'm wrong or if I know that's
not where you are, I'm just sure of
it, I'm probably gonna be at the snack
bar checking for you too because
the only person who can eat
movie popcorn
faster
and crazier than I can is you. Yeah.
The it's the only time And then there's
the Junior Mints. It the movies and god,
we have not gone to the movies in
literally years at this point.
But the movies is, like, the only time
I think,
with regards to food, that I've ever seen
you literally stuff your face. Oh, yeah. In
every other situation, even if it's similar food,
we have popcorn at home. Mhmm. Never have
the same response. Yeah. But some of that
that movie theater. But you and I are
both really bad at this. We can finish
off all of our snacks before the previews
are over. Yeah.
Yeah. Fucking hate that shit. Yeah.
Okay. True.
If you had to describe my vibe using
an animal, my
vibe
using an
animal, what is it? Monkey.
You're like, I say black cat?
Monkey. Because you're jumping from thing to thing
all over. I was hoping I was projecting
black cat energy, but fine. I'll take it.
And for I'm gonna take the low hanging
fruit here. Polar bear.
Okay. We say grumpy, but also Mhmm. Like,
polar bears I don't know anything about polar
bears, but from, like, little I pretend to
know,
they are snappish. They are fierce. They're gonna
fight before they're like, that's
you come out hot and swinging sometimes, and
I'm like, look. I'm just trying to decide
dinner. Okay?
Or make a grocery list. But,
we had so much conflict on grocery lists
for a few weeks in a row that
for, like, a month straight, I just made
them and told him what was on it.
That's not how we vibe around here. Usually,
we collaborate on the things that neither of
us wants to deal with. If we both
share the load, it feels less,
but he was so cranky about it
that I just went, I'll just do it.
And I knew he it was one of
those times I knew you would not care
what I selected because all it meant is
you didn't have to make a choice on
it. True.
And then the week I finally was done
with that and I wasn't,
toting that
burden by myself anymore.
There was one time I handed, the piece
of paper we're old fashioned. My list is
pen and paper.
I handed him the paper and the pen
and told him and the youngest, y'all figure
out what we're eating for dinner. I don't
give a fuck.
Yeah. And y'all got it done really quick.
We did. We did. And now
What's that got to do with being a
polar bear? I don't know. Yeah. Can I
close that out? Yeah. You can close it.
Strange things are popping up on our screen
now. Yeah. No. There are part there are
times I wanna say you have golden retriever
energy, but you really don't. You're too fucking
grumpy for that.
When you're in the mood, you are so
playful and you are so fun and you're
so open and you're, like, you'll talk to
me and you'll explore, and you're curious. And
it's really cool because that's nothing like me,
and so we need one another.
But when you are not those things, you
are a grumpy
bastard.
Yeah.
Yeah. I I I can't I can't deny
it. You had a couple weeks ago a
procedure where you had to fast prior to
the procedure. Oh, Jesus fucking But instead of
it being like a 6AM procedure, like, we
prefer, it was 10:30 in the morning. The
only one that can give me. And so
it was a whole morning of you had
to get through,
no coffee, no food. No food he can
handle mostly. I mean, he'll be hungry, but
no coffee, that means no caffeine. I had
to warn the youngest. I was like,
I would just and I had to be
careful because I was afraid she took me
too literally, but I was like, do not
make eye contact.
Don't initiate conversation.
If he talks to you, cool. That means
he's in a good mood and is is
he'll be fine.
But
so then while we were traveling this past
weekend,
I didn't think about it because I'm I'm
in my own head with all the travel
stuff and blah blah blah, what we're what
we're there to do.
The hotel had coffee and breakfast. Like, I
picked that hotel because that was all included.
Cool.
I could not understand why JB was so
fun fucking grumpy and grouchy while we're trying
to get ready and we're gonna go down
to breakfast. And finally, he goes, I haven't
had coffee yet. I'm like, oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. We're gonna get our asses downstairs.
Once he'd had, like, the first sip of
coffee, did the two of us tease the
absolute
shit out of him? Yeah. Read him for
filth. Yes. A 100%.
Yeah. We did wait till he had that
verse.
Okay.
Oh, god. If you had to warn someone
before they meet me Mhmm.
What are you
gonna warn them about?
Beware if she finds out you're you're her
peoples,
you'll know everything.
You'll have to live with zoomies.
There's so few people on the planet who
are are my vibe.
It's not
it's more like beware. If she does not
vibe with you, you are dead
to her. She does not know you.
Lola in the background giving her opinion.
Did you catch what I said?
No. It's more like beware if she doesn't
vibe with you, you're dead to her. Yeah.
That too. I just I don't wanna be
there, and I'm not gonna protect,
which is
awkward.
You're stuck in a room with me, and
I don't vibe with you.
If I had to warn somebody, I'm gonna
sound like a broken record.
Don't talk to him before he's like, caffeine.
He will not fake it, Will. Not you
don't even fake it with other people. You
you're not rude. You didn't get short with
other people. Yeah. But people don't know that.
And,
like, it's it's sort of society I even
have a shirt that says no questions before
coffee. People don't listen to shirts. If they
did, they would not wonder why I'm so
fucking anxious all the time.
No. I mean, you are short with people
when you haven't quite you know, you're not
awake yet or haven't had coffee or whatever.
But in a way that society goes, oh,
that's that's just masculinity
being short like that. Whereas if I do
it, then I'm like a raging bitch.
But you also are a polite adult who's
like, oh, no. I'll show my family and
my loved ones. It's the worst of it,
and I'll hold it together in public
because I feel safe.
As you should. As you should. For sure.
For sure.
Okay. Okay.
If I walk back into a room
smiling,
I'll even add laughing, chuckling, and I go,
don't ask.
What is your assumption of what has happened
in that room?
You just finished a really good book.
A really good book.
A really good book. The kind where yes.
I do have my vibrator out.
That tracks. That tracks.
Okay.
So if it's you Mhmm. It's either something
devious or lecherous
or both.
You've
probably
used one of your toys
and are are feeling real fucking good
slash
you've probably lit up a little bit and
are feeling no pain.
Or it's both.
Or it's both. Either way, you know, I
do I do think that says something that
both of us are gonna be like
we both assume the, the other is having
a similar experience.
We're feeling real fucking good,
but it's not for polite company to talk.
Did these
add any insight for either of us? No.
We know that I think he is a
grumpy fucking polar bear. And he's like, she's
kind of a bitch, y'all. She'll be nice
to you if she's kind of a bitch,
y'all. But it was really nice to giggle.
Yeah. And that's that's that's the thing.
Sometimes we do these question things and I
learn something. I'm like, oh, I didn't you
know? Mhmm. But this time I was like,
oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Shared experiences.
Like, if I'm doing a, let's pretend I'm
trying to educate somebody thing,
like, what's the fucking point? One, I didn't
have to use a lot of brainpower, so
that's that's a good one. But, two, it's
the the
memories.
It's the shared experiences.
Mhmm. It's the knowing each other on very
silly levels.
You can clearly tell for me that I
do think his,
top personality trait is grumpiness
because it fucking is. Okay?
His second personality
trait is music. Okay?
Just saying.
I did while we were traveling.
Speaking of of seeing your third personality trait,
which is, like, all your collections and how
you focus on things you
really care about. I had him explain the
phishing database
that he created years and years ago. And
we have talked about this in, like, a
it's either a bonus section or as a
Friday night livestream, at least a couple times.
And I was like, look. You, child of
mine, you're diagnosed. You're a better expert than
I am. And I said said to Jibby,
go. Tell her. Tell her tell her about
the date database.
And
she starts and she's like, I don't know
if you're diagnosable, but I know what you
are. And I was like,
same girl. Same.
Because he was like, yes. I did the
come on. Do it for folks what the
database was. Just bullet points. Okay.
It,
I charted
tide flows. I charted moon phase,
longitude, latitude,
lures used, fish caught, yada yada. Nope. No.
Yada yada. Don't don't nope. That makes it
sound like, oh, it's just this this little
database. Nope. Keep going.
I also wrote in reports.
So I can see what spot produced the
most fish, what lure caught what fish.
Yeah. At the tide and the moon and
the Yeah. All cross reference. Yeah.
So that's his third personality trait. I don't
know what to call it. Like, I don't
wanna be I don't wanna, like, minimize, like,
actual diagnosis. I don't know what to call
that, but that's his third personality trait. Because
anything he does
with intention and gets seriously interested in, that's
the level you're gonna get.
It's your albums.
Mhmm. Yeah. Your games to some small extent.
Even the things that you're claiming to do
to relax yourself, I'm like,
that's a lot of work for relaxation, but
okay.
Mhmm. Yeah. So whatever that is, that is
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other. Okay.
Alright.
So I do feel a little bit better.
Mhmm. I feel a lot better. I have
been feeling better day as each day has
gone. Yes.
I mentioned in the February behind the scenes
podcast episode that we do through Patreon, because
we actually got that out early this this
month. I was very proud of us,
that my mental health it's like the bad
part of my mental health has been, like,
right on the surface. And so it was
it was really hard to laugh, and it
was really hard to, like,
be optimistic.
And, like, I was like, ugh.
But I also think we experienced a bit
of drop after
after our travels.
Oh, I don't yeah. Something. So something. Some
something like drop, I would say. So
but I am feeling better, and I am
feeling reconnected
Yeah. In different ways. There's still more reconnecting
to go. Mhmm. But, like, we have plans
for,
a Saturday breakfast date Mhmm. And to go
to a couple stores that we want. And
I said, and, yes, if you want to
buy another album,
you we could do that. That's possible. And
his whole little face lit up.
So I bypassed personality trait one and skipped
straight to two and three.
So
Yeah.
For anybody interested, feel free to use the
questions. Or for YouTube folks, give me a
second. I gotta
put the link, in below.
But,
podcast listeners and everybody else, you can go
to their Instagram profile Mhmm. Or get the
app if you are so inclined. I don't
need that. I got plenty of apps on
my phone. I don't need that kind of
app, so I'll just use their free content.
So, yeah, that's it, and we can do
a bonus section. Cool.
So are we good? I don't know.
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you
next week.
Tottie. Yes. Baby girl. Can we talk to
the crickets? Sure.
Okay. What do you wanna talk about?
I don't know. You said we wanna talk
about our trip. Go talk talk about our
trip. No. It's me.
We
look. I knew when we planned this, it
was gonna suck.
I think I underestimated the suckage,
traveling, flying
multiple states away and flying home,
and driving two hours just to get to
the airport, which that had to be done
because our closest airport, the tickets were, like,
double the cost, so that was not feasible.
That was thirty six hours
of traveling.
That shit was rough. That shit was rough.
The flights were fine. The Mhmm. Virginia was
great. We found this great coffee shop.
We, you know, went there with our purpose
and got shit done, and it worked out
well. Well, I fell in love with that
coffee shop. The the the whole that part
was
great. Mhmm.
I
am not built
for the amount of long lines I had
to stand in.
Yeah. I'm not built for it. I'm not
built for it. But
I was in mom mode because we had
the youngest of us, and so I'm trying
to keep her relatively calm and help her
manage her anxiety,
doing brand new things. So I knew that
was, like,
ratcheted up for her.
So I'm maintaining
this facade
of calm, and in the inside, I'm screaming,
let me out.
So Orlando Airport,
I have I I thought I had never
flown out of there before, but I then
recalled I had flown out of there years
ago, like one time. But I had hit
it on, like, the perfect day, the perfect
time, and so there was no major wait.
This one
was forty five minute wait. Now how much
of it was it's just Orlando and all
the tourists were going home, and how much
of it is the partial DHS,
shutdown so it affected TSA?
I don't know. But I do know if
you are a Florida airport where people can,
on a on a good day, stand in
a line for forty five minutes, you need
to have some ceiling fans. You need to
have some moving air.
It was so hot. I was like Yeah.
The line moved pretty, like, pretty steady. That
was fine. Everybody kinda kept their cool. That
was great.
The people who worked at the airport were
super helpful when people needed help. They, like,
did priority stuff for, like, people in wheelchairs
and the elderly and stuff like that. Fine.
Fine. Fine.
But this is Florida.
We know about heat and humidity and the
importance
of airflow,
how they didn't have something so we were
not just
damp.
The humidity of our everybody's shared breath. I
don't know. It was so fucking hot.
What the hell?
Then I experienced the hell that is
a CVS pharmacy
for ninety minutes
that did not have their AC on either.
And I understood why that AC was not
on. It we're in Virginia. The day before
it had been super cold. A couple days
later, it was gonna be super cold. I'm
sure that was not on their system to
have their AC on.
That was the point in the trip where
I was like, if somebody does not get
me the fuck out of here,
I will be on the news tonight as
that crazy lady, Florida woman goes crazy in
Virginia pharmacy. I was like, I'm gonna lose
my fucking money. Oh, dear. And the whole
time I'm I'm keeping on the persona of
it's fine. Everything's fine.
I'm gonna talk, you know, I'm not taking
it out on the employees. I'm watching them
work their ass off. So I'm like, I'm
not the type to do it anyway, but
also there's no need to. I'm working hard
to keep the
16 year old calm
and relatively anxiety free. Like, I can't I
can't stop them having anxiety, but I don't
have to add to it either. Like,
when we finally get to the airport after
the ninety minutes of hell in a CVS,
they changed our gate no less than 10
times.
Yeah. That's right. For the first nine, it
went back and forth. That out.
I didn't because I had the JetBlue app,
and I had the email notification, and I
had the text notification.
So
I, at any given moment, was like, which
notification am I on? Which gate is it?
And the first, like, nine notifications, they switch
between the gate it was supposed to be
and another one, back and forth, back and
forth, back and forth. And then finally, they
put us at a random gate.
But the person who was trying to announce
it on the speaker
couldn't be
heard
well.
But then even when we figured it out,
she was trying to announce stuff on the
speaker at the gate we finally did end
up leaving from, which was not a JetBlue
gate. It was a spirit gate because it
was the only available gate on that
side or whatever.
There were people who were sitting at our
gate who were not leaving
from our gate. They had just
made camp there,
and they were the reason I could not
hear the nice lady who was making announcements
for a flight whose gate had already changed
10 times. So anything they wanted to say
about our flight, we were all we were
all all ears. What is happening next? And
there,
was like a sports
gate that wasn't being used, and they were
like, there's a shit ton of us. We
should be able to sit here. No problem.
Except that we, the people who were going
to leave from this gate, did not have
places to sit, and we could not hear
the announcer person.
They were loud. They were so loud.
They were so loud. They were so loud.
They were they were so loud, and they
were oblivious to everybody around them.
It was at the airport
going home
before we finally got snappy with one another
as a group, the three of us. We
held up so well. We had so much
fun that we did we
we kind of went on, like, walkabout through
Downtown Richmond.
Yeah.
Experienced
as Florida people, actual hills. That wasn't fun.
We made it. It's a story that we
laugh about. We were having a good time
of laughing. The youngest was, like, really, like,
light and open and, like, giggles all the
way around. It was it was great.
It was the flight home where we finally
all cracked.
So the getting on the plane, the flight
from Virginia to Orlando, cool. Cool. Cool. Cool.
Cool. Cool.
Great. Not a problem.
My I had stomach pains the whole time,
but, like, I'm like, well, I'm a person
who has stomach issues, so this is another
day.
Get home get to Orlando Airport, and I
had we had booked we did not drive
our decrepit,
how many years, 13 year old, 14 year
old car
to and from Orlando. We didn't wanna pay
for parking. So we just rented a car
one way, but it was not terribly expensive,
and it was a car we felt pretty
sure could make it to and from. Right?
So what that meant was I had to
reserve a car. We do budget Mhmm. To
for pickup from the Orlando Airport
To get us home. Right. From our flight.
And I was like, okay. I'll give it,
like we didn't have we didn't check baggage,
so I was like, I'll give it thirty
minutes after our flight arrives. That should be
when we should probably pick up. I was
not we were not, like, precious about that.
We know shit happens.
We got
to the line
at 11:15,
11:30 at night for budget.
We were not in our vehicle to leave
until 12:30
Yeah. In the morning.
And it was not a vehicle we expected
to get because it didn't matter what I
paid for. I it was a get what
you get and don't pitch a fit kinda
situation.
And it was an upgrade from what we
had paid for. Yeah. But it was a
truck.
And it was not a gigantic truck, but
it was not a small truck. This was
not a Ford fucking Ranger. Okay? He he
Called it midsize, but He he asked if
we wanted a full size
or mid range, and I said mid. Right.
And even then,
getting out of the
rental parking lot of the airport
was, for all of us, terrifying.
Our,
map I use we usually use Google Maps
to map to GPS us places.
Did not want to give us directions to
the road we needed to be on. I
I don't know why. This is a problem
I even experienced when I
Orlando Mhmm. Once a month to, you know,
go
to Rockler and various places.
GPS got me there Mhmm. Perfectly fine.
Now, when it comes for the trip home,
for whatever reason,
doesn't matter which app you use,
it wants you to go all the way
to the South
Side Of Orlando
to get back on the Turnpike to go
to North. North.
And so we were finally at the end
of our rope. The adults were having small
meltdowns over this entire situation.
Finally get I open up my Apple
map thing.
It it gave us directions to the road
we wanted to be on, but not before
the youngest in the back had a panic
attack because the grown ups in the front
were freaking the fuck out because
limits were hit by Yeah. By midnight,
Because thirty six hours back and forth travel,
we're not built for that. Yeah. No. We're
not built for that. We're not doing that
again. And I knew it was gonna be
a late night. I tried to sleep on
the flight
back, and all I couldn't. I I dozed
here and there, but, you know, I never
really I was kind of hoping you would,
like, conk out, and, yeah, you never No.
Did.
I never do, but I didn't feel good.
So that If I could have put the
seat back, I probably
Yeah. So it was a good trip. We
did what we needed to do. Yep. Saturday
morning,
you know, on, like, what, five hours of
sleep, I think. We got up,
barely made sure that we were not grotesque,
returned the rental, picked up our dog.
Lola had a grand old time.
She was very nervous when we dropped her
off for boarding, and I was like she's
gonna not really want to leave by the
time we get back. She's gonna love everybody
here because that's how she is. If you
are not a shit to her, she's your
best friend.
When they brought her out, when we came
to pick her up,
she
ran to JB, like, oh my god. I
thought I'd been abandoned and forsaken.
She came to me, but then she turned
around and ran back to the person who
had her on the lead to bring her
out, like, hello. You can still love me
too. I like you, so can I have
some belly rubs? And it took a minute
to get her to calm down from wanting
that person's attention to put her harness on
her and get her out the damn door.
So I'm glad that
went well. Yeah. That all went real well.
I mean, really, you know, every it did
go well the whole trip. The whole trip.
We were just by the end of it,
we were so exhausted. By the end of
it, the the exhaustion had kicked in. It
was you know,
we did a lot, you know,
go going up there, doing what we had
to do, the turnaround and everything. Yeah. It
was it was exhausting.
Mhmm. The,
bed in the hotel wasn't that comfortable.
I thought I'd gotten us a hotel room
with two beds.
The way they made they wrote it up,
that's what it sounded like.
No. It was a king-size bed, which I
love.
Never get that at home. But the second
bed was a pullout from the couch. Sleeper
sofa. Sleeper sofa.
So
the youngest has younger bones. Okay? And her
back's not fucked up yet. So she got
the two inch mattress
on the couch.
And we I desperately want a king-size bed.
That is, like, my next goal when we
finally do anything new with our bed, which
I don't know when that'll be.
So I really want a king-size bed, but
I clearly do not want whatever that mattress
was and and whatever those filters are.
Well, you know, I I like a firmer
Yeah. Mattress. It the firmer mattress is
is nice to my back. Yeah. For sure.
And that was that was a soft mattress.
Yeah. Yeah. At least that was my Yeah.
I couldn't I was like, I don't know
why this is not as comfortable as it
should be. I think I would have been
fine with the mattress,
but the pillows were the soft squishy. And
I don't like a soft squishy pillow.
My neck really doesn't like a soft squishy
pillow. Yeah.
Did my child inform me the moment my
eyeballs cracked open, mom, you snore. I'm like,
oh, I'm sorry.
It's not usually a problem because I'm married
to a snore, and I'm asleep for all
of it. So it doesn't fucking matter.
Yeah. She was not asleep for for hardly
any of it. Poor baby.
So
we survived. We got home. My mom fed
the cats for us because she was still
in town. She just went home on Tuesday.
My the family member that we were very
worried about has been released from the hospital.
They're
dealing with other stuff, but they're mostly fine.
Yeah.
So that's good.
So but my mom was still in town.
I was like, hey. Can you come feed
the cats for us? She was like, yeah.
Sure. I'll do that. Now did they have
the a jacked up feeding schedule? Yes. Did
they let us know that they didn't appreciate
that? Yes, ma'am. They did. But you know
what? They got fucking fed and got to
see a human
twice a damn day. Right. They're fine. They're
fine. And they had the whole place The
whole place. The whole place. That was out.
I I kinda wish we had cameras sort
of in our house a little bit because
I love to see how they were when
nobody else could see them. Because I'm pretty
sure when everybody goes to bed and even
when Lola's asleep, those two snuggle with one
another, but they won't show any of us
that they snuggle with one another. That is
my personal,
conspiracy theory is the cats actually cats. Yeah.
Like each other, but they refuse to let
us see it. Yeah.
Mhmm. Mhmm. That's that's where I'm at.
But I am glad to be home. Yeah.
It took a few days to, like, get
back into It did. It was weird for
such a short trip. Well, I think our
our rhythm was
so jacked.
I'm not built for that kind of back
and forth. Other people do it. I know
y'all do it. I'm not built that way.
I'm not built that way. I used to.
I I can't I don't bounce back as
quick as I used to. So, yeah, it
took me
it took me a couple days. Mhmm. Mhmm.
But
yeah.
So
I think we're as back to air quote
this normal as we can get. Convenient.
Yeah. As as we get. As we're ever
gonna
get. Alright. Lord.
Yeah. I've that that's us. Mhmm. But something
about the exhaustion from the trip, and I
had a lot of anxiety leading up to
leaving because I it's been been pre COVID
since I've even we've traveled anywhere, certainly by
plane.
I think that caught up as well, and
it did. We were disconnected.
Not because there was strife between the two
of us. It's just
too much
outside
influence. Interference. Mhmm.
So,
yeah, I think we're
Yeah. We're we're back on track. Mhmm. Mhmm.
I'm not ready to cry at the drop
of a hat. So, hey. That's good. Oh,
speaking speaking of crying at the drop of
a hat. Why is that the thing that
was the connection? The oldest had a very
important recital, kind that he is required to
do his junior year in order to be
allowed to graduate with a music degree. We
were late for it,
and that was hellacious for me. I did
not handle that well.
And I've also got a very clear reminder
that that child is definitely
gaining more and more independence
from
us because, apparently, he'd had the flu the
week before, and
none of us had a clue. We knew
didn't know. Yeah. Didn't know a thing. His
girlfriend was like, oh, yeah. He was very
stressed about this. I said, I bet the
hell he was. Right. Have a problem like,
he's coughing. You kinda need your lungs when
you play most musical instruments.
So
yeah. But he did amazing. He did amazing.
He did amazing. It's optional to do it
his senior year, and he's already decided he's
doing another one his senior year. It's like,
okay.
So yeah. Proud
proud parenting moments across
both kids for the weekend.
Because the youngest, she she really
handled herself in
anxious situations very well. Very well. Yeah. Very
well.
Mhmm.
Yep. So
yeah.
So that's us. Mhmm.
I'd love to tell you we'll be back
to normal next week, but there's nothing normal
about us. So I don't know what we'll
be back to, but
something more regular, something more typical.
That's that's the plan.
So I guess we can go.
I don't for YouTube live chat folks. I
YouTube live stream folks. I don't know what
the hell is going on with
YouTube.
I'm guessing live chat was not cooperating.
And I that sucks, and I'm, you know.
Yeah. Sorry about that. Not that we did
anything, but, like, sorry it was during our
stream that we tracked. YouTube's been acting
kinda funky lately. What was it? Monday or
Sunday night tried to get into
something on YouTube, and it didn't even recognize
who
I was. Yeah. Yeah. No. I think it
was late last week. Either way, there was
a time we literally could not sign in.
Mhmm. But it was like, everybody was having
that problem. Right. So at least it wasn't
just us.
Anyway, we're gonna go. Yep. Thanks for being
here. Especially until the bitter end. We appreciate
you. We do.
We'll be back next week.
Okay.
Bye.