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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four seventy two. Kayla Lourdes here with the

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one, the only, the

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I mean, you're just supportive and wonderful, and

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I don't have anything snarky to say because

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that requires too much energy, and I just

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can't give it. John Brownstone.

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Well, okay.

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The, I am firing on all cylinders, but

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those cylinders are not heating up like they

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usually do.

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I think that's an appropriate,

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analogy. Yeah. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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You can probably already tell this week. We're

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keeping it low key for reasons I'll explain

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it a bit.

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So we're just calling this one a bonus

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section episode where we hopefully because we're time

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traveling and we don't know yet, we will

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hopefully get questions in the YouTube live chat,

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and we'll answer those as well because why

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the hell not?

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and

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Friday for your kinky pleasure and education. Show

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notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app.

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And if your podcast app lets you rate,

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review, whatever, whatever and you enjoy this,

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we would love your rate slash review. It

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actually helps other kinksters find us and know

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we exist.

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You can also follow the show on FetLife

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at loving BDSM PC. The PC stands for

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podcast,

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on Instagram and technically threads with that handle

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I will forever fucking hate, which is loving

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d s and the number one. So it's

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at loving d s one. On blue sky

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at loving BDSM dot blah de blah de

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blah. Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm

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where you can watch us live stream the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes. Okay. Before we get into

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the chatting,

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the potential questions,

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I did have a few things I wanted

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to run down.

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One,

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our Patreon membership drive is still going. It

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runs through the February.

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If you join in the month of February,

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you will receive,

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something fun in the mail.

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Should be by April is the timeline we're

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trying to work on.

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If you're in the 2 and the $5

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tiers, you'll get a Loving BDSM

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sticker pack.

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Some of these things are they're not available

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for purchase. You're only getting them because you're

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part of our Patreon.

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And if you're in the $10 tier, you

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get the sticker pack and an enamel pin,

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p I n pin.

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This week, I was supposed to, like but

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my plan was to finalize that artwork

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and order it and show the Patreon folk

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what the pin is. And this week has

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not gone to plan.

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So maybe later this week. By the time

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this episode's out, maybe

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ideally, if not, then early next week. I

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already know what it's gonna be. I just

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haven't done the work of it yet.

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If you join our

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Patreon as an annual member, which means you

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pay once and then you have a year's

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worth of access, you'll get two months free

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for, signing up during our membership drive. That

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means you pay for ten months of access

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part of our Patreon, we have our Discord

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server for as long as that will work.

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It's now that it's coming out that they

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might do the face ID thing. I haven't

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even read about it. I've just heard about

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it. I gotta go. I got thoughts.

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But for right now, we're on Discord.

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And you get access to a monthly behind

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the scenes podcast episode where we focus on

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what's going on in our relationship,

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and we do we alternate every other month,

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game night and movie night.

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This month, February is game night. We'll play

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an online

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version of Cards Against Humanity. So

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patreon.com/kaylalords

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or the link is in the places. If

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you're not already a member, we would love

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to have you.

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If you are in a position where you're

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like, I am too fucking broke for this,

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that's cool. That I get it.

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Believe me. I get it.

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You can if you are so inclined, you

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can show your support in a lot of

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ways that don't cost a penny.

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If you are listening on a podcast app,

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please rate and review if you have not

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already.

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That helps people find us. If you have

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a group chat or a Discord or a

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whatever whatever with other kinksters and there's some

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episode that you're like, oh my god. This

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was helpful. Here, feel free to share your

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your favorite episodes with your kinky friends. On

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YouTube, liking, commenting,

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those things do help.

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So, yeah, there's plenty you can do.

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Doesn't require spending any money, and it does

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help us out.

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So that's the Patreon membership drive. The other

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thing, we have a few days left in

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as of the day of recording. That's Wednesday,

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February 11.

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We have a few days left of our

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sale at the kinkery, thekinkery.com.

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It's our kinky Valentine's Day sale.

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You get 15%

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off with the code

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kinky

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love 26. That's all one word. It's the

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numbers two and six.

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I'll put that in the places for anybody

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who's like, I'm not gonna remember that string

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of letters. What? It's in the places.

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15% off your entire purchase.

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We

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did restock and we have almost everything left.

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Last livestream, we talked about a brand new

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toy that is my favorite. It's called the

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Thumper. We have already sold out. And I've

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already had people going, when will these be

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back in stock? And I'm like, I don't

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know.

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They will be. I know. I did promise

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that. I'm like, they'll come back. I just

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all know. They absolutely will be. But on

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our website, if you were like, I wanted

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the fucking thumper,

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there'll be a button that says email notification

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thing. Email me when these are back.

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That is all that that email is used

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for. We don't use the the email that

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you share there for marketing or anything. You

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will get an email when we were your

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stock. But, yeah, the kinkery dot com. The

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sale runs through Saturday,

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February 14, Valentine's Day,

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at 11:59PM

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eastern. So even podcast listeners, if you're listening

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on the day this comes out, sale is

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still going.

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The coupon code is kinky love 26,

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15% off.

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Okay. Next thing on my list.

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It's chatty. I get it.

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And it's not announcements. It's just stuff. So,

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podcast listeners

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probably noticed they did not get a Monday

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Q and A episode this week, week of

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recording. You got a Tuesday episode.

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That is because on Friday, I went, oh,

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I should I should get the Monday episode

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ready, and then didn't. And then Monday, I

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went, oh, it's Monday. I need to do

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that episode, and then

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didn't. And then Tuesday, I went, oh, shit.

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I'm late.

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And then And then that's when JB went,

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oh, shit. I haven't edited that episode yet.

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At the same time, YouTube folk, you're like,

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what Monday episode right? Because we recorded the

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video,

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which uses a different audio, blah, blah, blah,

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than the podcast. That was recorded in total

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silence.

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It was not working. Oops. Our bad.

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I do not have it in me to

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try to do the matchup between the video

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and the audio.

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I was like so I put a poll

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out on YouTube. Oh, thank you, Ella, for

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putting your butthole in my face.

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I put a poll up on YouTube of,

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okay. Would you just like the link to

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the podcast episode on our website or do

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you want me to make a air quote

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video that's not really a video because it'd

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just be a picture probably of us looking

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at each other like we're crazy and then

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it's the audio playing?

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Overwhelmingly so far the poll has said, please

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just do that. So that's coming

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and that works because next Monday, there's not

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gonna be an episode.

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The reason this is a chatty bonus section

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esque episode is because that's

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all I have the mental energy for. And

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there are reasons. It's not just me like

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being, I just didn't feel like it. No.

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There's stuff going on.

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So, yeah, there won't be a q and

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a episode next week. YouTube folks, you will

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get your we're gonna call it a video,

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but it's it's not a real video,

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that you should have gotten this week. You'll

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probably

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so

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two things I want to bring to everybody's

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attention that we talked about a couple of

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weeks ago already. I just don't want it

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to get forgotten. First of all,

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I've watched several videos this week out of

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Minnesota where they're like, yeah.

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You don't see the same kind of videos

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from us anymore, but that doesn't mean the

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problems with ICE have stopped. Mhmm. It's just

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a little bit lower

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key. So I just wanna remind anybody who's

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like, I really wish I could help with

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that. I don't know what to do. I

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wouldn't know where to start. Standwithminnesota.com

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is still a really good resource where there's

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all kinds of opportunities to help.

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Do the thing thing that I have learned

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from watching

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people online talk

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about activism and getting involved is do not

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try to do it all. Just pick a

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thing, you know?

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Don't spread yourself too thin. Anything you do

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that you've never done before is more

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than they've had before. So

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find a thing that's, you know, helping people

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pets, you know, need help now that their

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their people have been, you know, detained or

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helping people pay their rent because they can't

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go to work or whatever your thing is

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where you feel compelled, if that is where

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you'd like to to put time, energy, and

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money,

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just pick one. Cool.

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The other thing

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is,

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if you are a Floridian

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and you care about,

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LGBTQ

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plus

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issues, communities, laws, legislation, all the shit that

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is happening in Florida, I'm

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beseeching you

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to follow,

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00:09:41,835 --> 00:09:43,615
or check out Equality Florida.

269
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:45,149
I'm getting

270
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:46,670
emails and,

271
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,350
social media posts

272
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:50,910
left, right, and center about the anti

273
00:09:51,450 --> 00:09:51,950
LGBTQ

274
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:55,870
plus community Yeah. Legislation coming through the Florida

275
00:09:56,009 --> 00:09:56,509
legislature.

276
00:09:57,554 --> 00:09:59,475
They'll have petitions for you. They'll have things

277
00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:00,535
you can actually do.

278
00:10:00,995 --> 00:10:02,355
If you don't have time but you got

279
00:10:02,355 --> 00:10:04,535
$10, that will help them do their job.

280
00:10:04,595 --> 00:10:05,975
If you are not in Florida,

281
00:10:06,514 --> 00:10:08,115
I said this in when we talked about

282
00:10:08,115 --> 00:10:09,329
a couple weeks ago. I'm just saying it

283
00:10:09,329 --> 00:10:09,829
again.

284
00:10:10,129 --> 00:10:11,889
Go search your state name and the word

285
00:10:11,889 --> 00:10:14,610
equality and find your organization in your state

286
00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:16,549
and see what's going on in your state.

287
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:19,169
Ideally, you live in a place where not

288
00:10:19,169 --> 00:10:21,029
a lot's going on, but if you

289
00:10:22,209 --> 00:10:24,095
if you live in a red state, I

290
00:10:24,095 --> 00:10:27,214
promise you something's going on, and it's just

291
00:10:27,214 --> 00:10:29,074
not making news most of the time.

292
00:10:29,615 --> 00:10:31,694
Again, if you have the time to do

293
00:10:31,694 --> 00:10:33,375
petitions or to call or this or that,

294
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:34,654
great. If you don't have time but you

295
00:10:34,654 --> 00:10:36,914
got cash, $10 goes a long way.

296
00:10:37,934 --> 00:10:38,995
But, yeah, it's

297
00:10:40,629 --> 00:10:43,750
Florida is just heating up with how shitty

298
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:45,690
can we make life Yep.

299
00:10:46,149 --> 00:10:48,790
Yep. Certain people in our state. And For

300
00:10:48,790 --> 00:10:51,669
everybody, really, with this session. It does all

301
00:10:51,669 --> 00:10:54,470
turn into everybody. Everybody ends up being affected,

302
00:10:54,470 --> 00:10:54,945
but

303
00:10:55,424 --> 00:10:55,924
whatever.

304
00:10:56,465 --> 00:10:58,304
So I just wanted to put that back

305
00:10:58,304 --> 00:10:59,044
out there,

306
00:10:59,664 --> 00:11:01,285
for anybody who may be interested.

307
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:04,544
If you missed that episode from a couple

308
00:11:04,544 --> 00:11:06,164
weeks ago, because I'm like,

309
00:11:10,779 --> 00:11:12,059
it was not there was no title to

310
00:11:12,059 --> 00:11:14,079
indicate what the hell we were talking about.

311
00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,740
Feel free. Go back to listen to that

312
00:11:15,740 --> 00:11:16,720
one if you'd like.

313
00:11:18,539 --> 00:11:21,279
So that's just the stuff I wanted to

314
00:11:22,274 --> 00:11:23,095
make sure,

315
00:11:24,115 --> 00:11:26,774
I said before we get into whatever.

316
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:30,774
Also,

317
00:11:31,154 --> 00:11:33,235
I'll tell you a lie. I I know

318
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,810
I know I'm giving off different energy than

319
00:11:35,810 --> 00:11:36,310
usual.

320
00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:38,450
Because if I can feel it, I know

321
00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:39,590
you can feel it.

322
00:11:42,529 --> 00:11:45,170
I am drinking from my emotional support diet

323
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:47,730
Coke. It's the race track large. And because

324
00:11:47,730 --> 00:11:50,144
I go to race track so often, I

325
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:50,644
am,

326
00:11:51,264 --> 00:11:51,764
I've

327
00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:52,884
got rewards.

328
00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:54,964
I'm in a tier

329
00:11:55,985 --> 00:11:58,304
four, I think. I get a fifth I

330
00:11:58,304 --> 00:12:00,804
get four free fountain sodas a month.

331
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:04,879
And I get 500 more points.

332
00:12:05,659 --> 00:12:07,259
I get a free drink every time I

333
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:08,000
go in.

334
00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:10,299
I don't think I should be allowed to

335
00:12:10,299 --> 00:12:12,559
have that much power. No. No.

336
00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:15,360
I just be at restrapped every day.

337
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,644
Take your keys away from you.

338
00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:22,845
Whatever works.

339
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:24,685
No. So,

340
00:12:26,264 --> 00:12:28,285
without going into too much detail,

341
00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:31,225
we have a family member who we went

342
00:12:31,225 --> 00:12:33,409
to visit in the hospital this past weekend.

343
00:12:33,409 --> 00:12:34,870
They'd taken a bad fall,

344
00:12:35,809 --> 00:12:37,730
broken stuff, blah blah blah. But they are

345
00:12:38,449 --> 00:12:41,089
I always call them medically fragile. They have

346
00:12:41,089 --> 00:12:42,789
a lot going on in their life.

347
00:12:43,409 --> 00:12:45,764
And they had surgery on Monday and things

348
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:47,205
did not go well. And next thing I

349
00:12:47,205 --> 00:12:49,605
know, they're in the ICU, and another family

350
00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:51,465
member's like, oh my gosh. This is bad.

351
00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:53,605
My mom's like, I'm getting in the car.

352
00:12:53,605 --> 00:12:54,264
I'm coming.

353
00:12:56,404 --> 00:12:57,304
We've been monitoring.

354
00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,940
I'm getting updates a few times a day.

355
00:13:01,879 --> 00:13:04,279
It's already sort of stressful to, like, know

356
00:13:04,279 --> 00:13:05,600
that you've got this family member that's like

357
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,399
that you literally we literally just saw on

358
00:13:07,399 --> 00:13:09,019
Sunday. And she they weren't doing

359
00:13:09,399 --> 00:13:11,320
amazing that day, but we had two hours

360
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:11,980
of conversation.

361
00:13:13,105 --> 00:13:15,284
It was like old times. But they're also

362
00:13:15,345 --> 00:13:18,625
somebody that I am emotionally conflicted about for

363
00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:19,125
reasons.

364
00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:20,464
And so I've

365
00:13:21,024 --> 00:13:23,024
it's like, okay. I will worry about this

366
00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:24,944
family member. I will worry for my mom

367
00:13:24,944 --> 00:13:27,524
who I know is freaking out. And also,

368
00:13:29,049 --> 00:13:31,389
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel

369
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:34,730
because everything is weird now. And so I

370
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:35,230
just

371
00:13:36,009 --> 00:13:37,690
I've just been living with my phone in

372
00:13:37,690 --> 00:13:39,230
my hand, waiting for updates,

373
00:13:42,524 --> 00:13:43,585
trying to, like,

374
00:13:45,004 --> 00:13:46,605
trying not to focus on that too much.

375
00:13:46,605 --> 00:13:48,205
There's nothing I can do. I'm not gonna

376
00:13:48,205 --> 00:13:49,664
go be an extra body,

377
00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:51,664
up in the ICU. That's

378
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,504
never been my vibe anyway.

379
00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:56,789
And then I have my own stuff

380
00:13:57,409 --> 00:13:57,909
to,

381
00:13:58,449 --> 00:14:02,230
face with, you know, feelings and familial relationships

382
00:14:02,449 --> 00:14:04,370
that are strained and, you know, all the

383
00:14:04,370 --> 00:14:06,230
fun stuff. All the fun stuff.

384
00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:09,075
So, yeah, that's my vibe is off

385
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:12,274
for that. My ability to focus the way

386
00:14:12,274 --> 00:14:14,195
I'd like to focus on a topic, it

387
00:14:14,195 --> 00:14:15,095
just ain't here.

388
00:14:15,794 --> 00:14:17,475
Yes. We are aware we could have taken

389
00:14:17,475 --> 00:14:19,554
this week off, and y'all are fully supportive

390
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:20,535
and would have understood.

391
00:14:21,475 --> 00:14:22,375
If I

392
00:14:22,940 --> 00:14:25,019
had to just sit and stare at the

393
00:14:25,019 --> 00:14:25,519
wall

394
00:14:26,059 --> 00:14:28,379
today, I think I would be worse of

395
00:14:28,379 --> 00:14:29,519
a basket case.

396
00:14:30,059 --> 00:14:31,279
It sounds like,

397
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,899
things are not they're not out of the

398
00:14:33,899 --> 00:14:35,659
woods yet, but things are better. So we're

399
00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:38,399
gonna go see the oldest in concert tonight.

400
00:14:38,735 --> 00:14:41,295
We we wouldn't even commit to that until

401
00:14:41,295 --> 00:14:42,894
I got the last update from my mom

402
00:14:42,894 --> 00:14:44,595
today. And I was like, okay.

403
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,455
I do not anticipate being called in to,

404
00:14:47,455 --> 00:14:49,615
like, you've got twenty minutes, get your ass

405
00:14:49,615 --> 00:14:50,835
here kinda call.

406
00:14:51,295 --> 00:14:53,154
So that that feels better.

407
00:14:54,339 --> 00:14:56,580
So, yeah, we're just it's just very low

408
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:57,080
energy,

409
00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:58,679
lots of emotions.

410
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,080
And so

411
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,000
so,

412
00:15:04,419 --> 00:15:05,860
that's why it's low key and that's why

413
00:15:05,860 --> 00:15:06,600
I'm probably

414
00:15:07,714 --> 00:15:08,214
off.

415
00:15:08,914 --> 00:15:10,534
If it's your first time

416
00:15:10,995 --> 00:15:13,174
ever, like, encountering us,

417
00:15:13,554 --> 00:15:15,815
it's not usually like this.

418
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:18,834
I'm usually talking so fast. I can't keep

419
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:19,950
up with my own thoughts.

420
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:22,129
There's usually a topic.

421
00:15:24,350 --> 00:15:26,830
So Silent in the live chat's like so

422
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:30,110
YouTube keeps changing shit. Yeah. And so our

423
00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:30,610
moderators,

424
00:15:31,070 --> 00:15:32,945
Tay hi, Tayshu, and Silent,

425
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:35,004
used to have, like, a little wrench by

426
00:15:35,004 --> 00:15:36,925
their name. And now the wrench is gone,

427
00:15:36,925 --> 00:15:38,524
and it looks like a shield. Am I

428
00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:40,365
seeing that correctly? It looks like a shield.

429
00:15:40,365 --> 00:15:41,105
Or a badge?

430
00:15:42,684 --> 00:15:43,184
So,

431
00:15:45,919 --> 00:15:48,399
yeah. It's funny to every time I open

432
00:15:48,399 --> 00:15:50,399
YouTube, something is a little different. And I'm

433
00:15:50,399 --> 00:15:52,399
like, you know, y'all could've sent an email.

434
00:15:52,399 --> 00:15:54,639
All the emails you send me about shit

435
00:15:54,639 --> 00:15:56,019
I don't care about

436
00:15:57,279 --> 00:15:59,379
changing how things look,

437
00:16:02,815 --> 00:16:04,495
Just just tell me some of us don't

438
00:16:04,495 --> 00:16:06,014
handle change very well.

439
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:09,555
So

440
00:16:10,175 --> 00:16:11,855
I think a couple of questions have come

441
00:16:11,855 --> 00:16:13,375
through live chat, but I have to go

442
00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:15,215
search them. Let me remind y'all if, for

443
00:16:15,215 --> 00:16:18,440
anybody joining us watching the YouTube live stream,

444
00:16:18,820 --> 00:16:20,419
if you need to ask a question, please

445
00:16:20,419 --> 00:16:22,440
tag us at loving BDSM,

446
00:16:23,459 --> 00:16:25,799
and please make sure your question can fit

447
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:28,945
into the character limit of a single message

448
00:16:28,945 --> 00:16:30,004
in live chat.

449
00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:34,065
Oh, also, I remembered to click the button.

450
00:16:34,065 --> 00:16:36,865
Our fundraiser for the campaign for Southern Equality

451
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,945
is still going on. We hit our goal

452
00:16:38,945 --> 00:16:41,220
last week. Thank y'all, to everybody who's already

453
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:43,139
donated. I just wanna see how much we

454
00:16:43,139 --> 00:16:43,879
can do.

455
00:16:44,419 --> 00:16:44,919
And

456
00:16:45,299 --> 00:16:45,799
and

457
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:47,240
for the Kinkery,

458
00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:48,519
we are donating

459
00:16:48,820 --> 00:16:51,220
5% of all the sales that are made

460
00:16:51,220 --> 00:16:53,347
during our sale, all the orders that are

461
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,995
placed during our sale. 5% will go to

462
00:16:54,995 --> 00:16:56,134
the campaign for,

463
00:16:56,834 --> 00:16:59,394
Southern Equality. That is an organization that helps

464
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,054
the LGBTQ

465
00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:03,334
plus community in the South, in Southern states

466
00:17:03,794 --> 00:17:04,694
where rights,

467
00:17:04,994 --> 00:17:07,654
and access are being stripped away near daily,

468
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,359
helps them get the resources they need, provides

469
00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:12,740
direction, provides advice,

470
00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:14,019
provides grants.

471
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,759
Our family has been the recipient of one

472
00:17:16,759 --> 00:17:17,619
of their grants.

473
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:19,299
And so,

474
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,875
I just wanna try and give back as

475
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,174
best we can. So,

476
00:17:24,955 --> 00:17:27,515
if you're currently watching on YouTube or podcast

477
00:17:27,515 --> 00:17:29,355
listeners, you were so inclined to come over

478
00:17:29,355 --> 00:17:29,934
to YouTube,

479
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:33,035
you can donate directly through the fundraiser. That

480
00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,740
money goes straight to them. It's not coming

481
00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:36,819
through us. YouTube takes care of it. Mhmm.

482
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,980
And YouTube does not charge fees for that.

483
00:17:38,980 --> 00:17:40,579
If you want to get something for your

484
00:17:40,579 --> 00:17:43,799
donation, you can shop at the kinkerythekinkery.com

485
00:17:43,859 --> 00:17:45,319
through Valentine's Day,

486
00:17:45,619 --> 00:17:46,680
and 5%,

487
00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:48,440
of your order will

488
00:17:48,994 --> 00:17:51,095
go to them. Okay.

489
00:17:53,075 --> 00:17:53,575
I

490
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,674
am gonna scroll through live chat if you

491
00:17:56,674 --> 00:17:57,654
would like to chitchat

492
00:17:58,035 --> 00:18:00,914
while I scroll. Me chitchat? What universe are

493
00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,375
you from? You chitchat.

494
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:04,710
Just not when anybody's paying attention.

495
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,490
Only when it's just me and I'm like,

496
00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:09,509
you see I'm watching a video. I'll pause

497
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:11,650
and he chitchats. And then he walks away.

498
00:18:11,650 --> 00:18:13,730
He stops talking. I turn my video on.

499
00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,410
And then he turns and he goes, oh,

500
00:18:15,410 --> 00:18:17,045
and so I turn my video off, and

501
00:18:17,045 --> 00:18:19,285
he chitchats. And then he stops, and he

502
00:18:19,285 --> 00:18:22,005
turns away and walks away. And I start

503
00:18:22,005 --> 00:18:23,705
my I'm respectful.

504
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,744
I'll pause the video for you.

505
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:29,220
But you don't get it all out at

506
00:18:29,220 --> 00:18:31,220
once. And then by the fourth time, he

507
00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:33,380
realizes what's happening. And so he then just

508
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,920
keeps doing it because

509
00:18:35,299 --> 00:18:37,859
I there's all of these allegations of me

510
00:18:37,859 --> 00:18:40,119
being a brat, but let me tell you,

511
00:18:40,835 --> 00:18:43,474
the biggest fucking brat around here is named

512
00:18:43,474 --> 00:18:45,234
John Brownstone. I don't know what you're talking

513
00:18:45,234 --> 00:18:45,734
about.

514
00:18:46,355 --> 00:18:48,275
I don't know what you mean. So I'm

515
00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:49,555
gonna scroll through and see if

516
00:18:51,474 --> 00:18:51,974
okay.

517
00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:55,440
Chit chat, man. Chit chat. What? She said

518
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,179
some mischief.

519
00:19:00,079 --> 00:19:02,179
Yeah. I I have to admit

520
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:02,880
with the,

521
00:19:03,599 --> 00:19:05,380
the Monday video with the no

522
00:19:06,075 --> 00:19:07,694
audio, that was kind of on me.

523
00:19:08,875 --> 00:19:11,515
I was so excited having this new computer

524
00:19:11,515 --> 00:19:13,835
set up. I didn't go through all the

525
00:19:13,835 --> 00:19:14,335
settings

526
00:19:15,115 --> 00:19:16,794
on everything to make sure it was set

527
00:19:16,794 --> 00:19:17,294
right.

528
00:19:17,914 --> 00:19:19,595
It's just nice to have a computer that

529
00:19:19,595 --> 00:19:20,095
works.

530
00:19:27,329 --> 00:19:29,589
Thank you, Silent. Silent's such a good moderator.

531
00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:30,210
Mhmm.

532
00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:33,169
Jack asked, what's the line between angry topping

533
00:19:33,169 --> 00:19:35,349
and topping when you're angry for stress relief?

534
00:19:36,274 --> 00:19:37,414
That's a you question,

535
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:39,174
my friend. Mhmm.

536
00:19:39,794 --> 00:19:42,355
I I think there I I think what

537
00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:45,154
at at least the way I'm seeing the

538
00:19:45,154 --> 00:19:46,214
question, and

539
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,054
there is a difference

540
00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:51,990
between

541
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:52,950
being

542
00:19:53,329 --> 00:19:54,549
angry Mhmm.

543
00:19:55,809 --> 00:19:59,029
And taking said anger out on somebody. Sure.

544
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:02,130
K. So, you know, that that that's two

545
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:03,029
different things.

546
00:20:06,244 --> 00:20:07,224
You know, I

547
00:20:08,724 --> 00:20:10,744
she forced me. She twisted my arm.

548
00:20:11,684 --> 00:20:12,585
No. She didn't.

549
00:20:13,845 --> 00:20:16,105
After my sister passed away,

550
00:20:18,019 --> 00:20:19,460
she suggested we go to the club and

551
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:20,279
do a scene.

552
00:20:20,579 --> 00:20:21,079
Mhmm.

553
00:20:21,779 --> 00:20:23,940
And we did. To relieve stress. That was

554
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,879
that was what I was thinking about. Yep.

555
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,059
You know, I was, running the gamut of

556
00:20:29,059 --> 00:20:30,839
a whole lot of emotions at that time.

557
00:20:31,974 --> 00:20:32,474
And,

558
00:20:33,174 --> 00:20:33,835
we went,

559
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:35,115
we played,

560
00:20:35,575 --> 00:20:36,315
had a

561
00:20:36,855 --> 00:20:38,954
had a good time. But also,

562
00:20:39,255 --> 00:20:41,255
no, I got to a point in the

563
00:20:41,255 --> 00:20:42,075
scene where

564
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,855
I'm like, I need to stop. Mhmm. I'm

565
00:20:45,015 --> 00:20:46,554
I feel like I'm too close

566
00:20:47,059 --> 00:20:48,579
to where I shouldn't be and I need

567
00:20:48,579 --> 00:20:50,500
to stop. Did it feel like you were

568
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,279
at the edge of a loss of control

569
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,679
or that your emotions were

570
00:20:55,059 --> 00:20:56,759
No. I had a loss of control.

571
00:20:58,500 --> 00:20:59,940
Yeah. I it's a fine line and I

572
00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:02,279
think it's gonna be different for everybody.

573
00:21:02,794 --> 00:21:04,954
I would say automatically if you are angry

574
00:21:04,954 --> 00:21:07,595
at the person, you're definitely not topping them

575
00:21:07,595 --> 00:21:09,595
at that point until your anger is under

576
00:21:09,595 --> 00:21:11,275
control. Right. And you're at a point where

577
00:21:11,275 --> 00:21:13,035
you're level headed and you can you can

578
00:21:13,035 --> 00:21:14,794
do the Mhmm. I don't like what you

579
00:21:14,794 --> 00:21:17,115
did, but we're okay kind of thing. Yeah.

580
00:21:17,355 --> 00:21:19,539
If you are angry in general

581
00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:23,460
and I would communicate that with a partner

582
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:25,859
because they might not feel comfortable and they

583
00:21:25,859 --> 00:21:27,299
should be able to consent to that or

584
00:21:27,299 --> 00:21:29,380
not. You're like, I've had a rough day.

585
00:21:29,380 --> 00:21:30,765
I'm angry at the situation.

586
00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:33,884
I'd like to just do some stress relief.

587
00:21:34,825 --> 00:21:35,325
That's

588
00:21:36,025 --> 00:21:36,845
for full

589
00:21:37,224 --> 00:21:39,464
informed consent for a partner, I would I

590
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:40,744
would put that out there for them, give

591
00:21:40,744 --> 00:21:42,505
them the option to say, yeah. I'm not

592
00:21:42,505 --> 00:21:44,345
down for this. Catch me on your chill

593
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:45,164
again. Right?

594
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:47,500
But you have to know yourself and you

595
00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,680
have to be brutally honest with yourself.

596
00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:51,420
And that's really hard for a lot of

597
00:21:51,420 --> 00:21:52,779
people to do. You have to be able

598
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:53,360
to go,

599
00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:55,420
okay, I know how I can get when

600
00:21:55,420 --> 00:21:58,140
I'm angry, or I know that it's hard

601
00:21:58,140 --> 00:21:59,200
for me to

602
00:22:00,384 --> 00:22:02,625
stop myself at a at some point because

603
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:03,365
of like,

604
00:22:03,904 --> 00:22:06,144
you you gotta be really real with yourself.

605
00:22:06,144 --> 00:22:06,644
Like,

606
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:12,119
but the the desire to relieve the stress,

607
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,740
to try to to help

608
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:14,700
yourself

609
00:22:15,559 --> 00:22:17,559
feel better, I think that's fine. I think

610
00:22:17,559 --> 00:22:18,220
it also,

611
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:22,059
it's important that you're emotionally regulated. To recognize

612
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,960
that you are angry and to be able

613
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:24,779
to rationally

614
00:22:25,319 --> 00:22:27,160
think about I am angry and here's why

615
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:27,900
and whatever,

616
00:22:28,335 --> 00:22:29,794
That's a different

617
00:22:32,174 --> 00:22:33,214
I don't know. I can't think of the

618
00:22:33,214 --> 00:22:35,855
word I want. That's different than raging. That's

619
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,414
different than your thoughts are literally racing, your

620
00:22:38,414 --> 00:22:41,669
body's basically vibrating, and you're like, who can

621
00:22:41,669 --> 00:22:42,890
I hit right now?

622
00:22:43,269 --> 00:22:44,730
Uh-uh. I'm not recommending

623
00:22:45,509 --> 00:22:47,529
any level of play with

624
00:22:47,829 --> 00:22:49,929
that. But if you're able to be

625
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:53,589
calm in your own mind and body with

626
00:22:53,589 --> 00:22:54,409
your anger,

627
00:22:55,765 --> 00:22:57,304
You know? Probably, maybe.

628
00:22:57,845 --> 00:22:59,525
I I think it's fine to on the

629
00:22:59,525 --> 00:23:00,984
side of caution until

630
00:23:01,285 --> 00:23:02,585
you know yourself

631
00:23:03,285 --> 00:23:05,704
in play as a top or whatever,

632
00:23:06,005 --> 00:23:07,464
even better. You know?

633
00:23:08,529 --> 00:23:10,130
But, yeah, talk let your partner know what

634
00:23:10,130 --> 00:23:12,369
the hell you're trying to do so that

635
00:23:12,369 --> 00:23:14,609
they can fully consent and they understand what's

636
00:23:14,609 --> 00:23:15,349
going on.

637
00:23:15,650 --> 00:23:18,369
Because what if you do get carried away

638
00:23:18,369 --> 00:23:20,210
and they're like, wow. Maybe we're just going

639
00:23:20,210 --> 00:23:21,890
extra hard. Well, if they know and they

640
00:23:21,890 --> 00:23:24,265
rec they know what is happening Right. You

641
00:23:24,265 --> 00:23:26,105
know, they might say forward earlier than they

642
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:28,345
would have otherwise. I mean, that that definitely

643
00:23:28,345 --> 00:23:29,325
falls under risk

644
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:32,744
risk risk aware consensual kink. For for my

645
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:35,785
fellow anxious people, I think it's completely valid

646
00:23:35,785 --> 00:23:37,544
if you're like, never. I'm not doing that

647
00:23:37,544 --> 00:23:39,625
with anybody. I think that's fine. There was

648
00:23:39,625 --> 00:23:41,529
a time I probably wouldn't have done it

649
00:23:41,529 --> 00:23:42,190
with JB

650
00:23:42,890 --> 00:23:45,470
because of my own anxieties and concerns and

651
00:23:45,690 --> 00:23:48,430
my personal risk assessment and what I am

652
00:23:48,490 --> 00:23:50,490
okay with and not. And then there came

653
00:23:50,490 --> 00:23:51,630
a point where I was like,

654
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:52,319
this man on his worst day still has

655
00:23:52,319 --> 00:23:52,490
enough self control. We're good. Because what how

656
00:23:52,570 --> 00:23:53,070
what's

657
00:23:53,984 --> 00:23:57,505
still has enough self control. We're good. Because

658
00:23:57,505 --> 00:23:59,505
what how what goes on with him, with

659
00:23:59,505 --> 00:24:00,565
JB, is that

660
00:24:01,105 --> 00:24:03,424
he knows himself well enough to go, I'm

661
00:24:03,424 --> 00:24:05,105
not in a state of mind to to

662
00:24:05,105 --> 00:24:07,684
play at all. Mhmm. I might be speaking

663
00:24:07,849 --> 00:24:09,130
calmly to you and I might be able

664
00:24:09,130 --> 00:24:11,470
to stay emotionally regulated right now, but

665
00:24:11,849 --> 00:24:14,089
nope. Don't put an implement in my hand

666
00:24:14,089 --> 00:24:16,330
and let me swing. Inside is mister toad's

667
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:17,950
wild ride. Exactly.

668
00:24:18,890 --> 00:24:21,849
And, you know, that is an understanding of

669
00:24:21,849 --> 00:24:22,349
self,

670
00:24:23,705 --> 00:24:25,305
that you need to have. And if you

671
00:24:25,305 --> 00:24:27,244
don't know that you have it yet,

672
00:24:27,865 --> 00:24:29,725
that that's a place to start

673
00:24:30,184 --> 00:24:31,325
focusing your own

674
00:24:31,865 --> 00:24:33,244
self education on,

675
00:24:33,865 --> 00:24:36,440
and just to avoid the risk altogether

676
00:24:37,140 --> 00:24:37,640
possibly.

677
00:24:38,339 --> 00:24:38,839
But

678
00:24:40,019 --> 00:24:40,519
so,

679
00:24:42,339 --> 00:24:44,500
Lexi has a question. Thank you, Lexi. What

680
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,339
is your advice for a sub who wants

681
00:24:46,339 --> 00:24:47,904
to support their dom when they're going through

682
00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:48,724
a rough time?

683
00:24:49,105 --> 00:24:50,384
My d is going through a lot and

684
00:24:50,384 --> 00:24:51,825
I wanna support him, but he has a

685
00:24:51,825 --> 00:24:54,384
hard time accepting help. Oh, I think that's

686
00:24:54,384 --> 00:24:55,845
probably a dom thing

687
00:24:56,545 --> 00:24:59,045
regardless of any identity,

688
00:24:59,505 --> 00:25:00,724
gender, anything.

689
00:25:01,025 --> 00:25:03,045
I think all y'all struggle with that.

690
00:25:03,779 --> 00:25:03,940
I've

691
00:25:04,580 --> 00:25:05,559
to some extent.

692
00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:11,460
So here's the thing. It's the most cliche

693
00:25:11,460 --> 00:25:12,820
thing of all you can lead a horse

694
00:25:12,820 --> 00:25:14,019
to water, but you can't make a drink.

695
00:25:14,019 --> 00:25:15,700
All you can do is offer. First of

696
00:25:15,700 --> 00:25:17,140
all, that's all you can do is offer.

697
00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:18,855
If they will not accept the help you're

698
00:25:18,855 --> 00:25:20,315
offering, the support you're offering,

699
00:25:21,015 --> 00:25:23,255
you gotta you gotta let them not accept

700
00:25:23,255 --> 00:25:24,075
it. Now

701
00:25:24,454 --> 00:25:26,775
depending on the nature of your power exchange

702
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,934
and do y'all live together, do y'all spend

703
00:25:28,934 --> 00:25:30,214
a lot of time together, do you see

704
00:25:30,214 --> 00:25:31,115
each other frequently,

705
00:25:31,734 --> 00:25:32,970
what kind kind of things do you do

706
00:25:32,970 --> 00:25:34,970
as a sub? What I do for JB

707
00:25:34,970 --> 00:25:37,450
is I amp up the service. I look

708
00:25:37,450 --> 00:25:39,289
around at his life and go, what would

709
00:25:39,289 --> 00:25:42,250
he let me do without me asking? Because

710
00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:43,769
that's the thing, I'm gonna take away a

711
00:25:43,769 --> 00:25:45,625
barrier of if I have to if he's

712
00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:47,464
going through it and I'm constantly coming to

713
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:48,744
him going, can I do this? Can I

714
00:25:48,744 --> 00:25:50,744
do that? I've just added a stressor. But

715
00:25:50,744 --> 00:25:52,984
if we have the connection we have, I

716
00:25:52,984 --> 00:25:54,585
can look at his life and go, oh,

717
00:25:54,585 --> 00:25:56,424
I'll put that laundry up today. Oh, I'll

718
00:25:56,424 --> 00:25:58,139
just run that load for him. Oh, I'll

719
00:25:58,139 --> 00:26:00,059
I'll deal with dishes. And I'll either tell

720
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:00,559
him

721
00:26:00,940 --> 00:26:02,460
so he doesn't start it, or I'll just

722
00:26:02,460 --> 00:26:04,399
do it when he's off doing other things.

723
00:26:04,779 --> 00:26:05,279
And

724
00:26:07,179 --> 00:26:08,700
but I know those things are safe for

725
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:10,399
me to just do without his permission.

726
00:26:12,055 --> 00:26:14,455
And, you know, you think about who your

727
00:26:14,455 --> 00:26:15,835
dom is and what,

728
00:26:16,455 --> 00:26:18,795
you know, what adds to their stress levels,

729
00:26:19,815 --> 00:26:21,734
what they will and will not accept from

730
00:26:21,734 --> 00:26:22,955
you as their submissive,

731
00:26:24,295 --> 00:26:26,299
and you kind of go from there. But

732
00:26:26,299 --> 00:26:28,059
if the only thing you can do is

733
00:26:28,059 --> 00:26:30,220
offer your support and remind them that you're

734
00:26:30,220 --> 00:26:32,880
there for them and they're still not

735
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,599
giving in to that,

736
00:26:36,299 --> 00:26:38,160
you can't control that.

737
00:26:38,940 --> 00:26:41,255
I like to think of myself

738
00:26:42,595 --> 00:26:45,174
as a soft place for JB to land.

739
00:26:45,955 --> 00:26:46,455
So

740
00:26:46,835 --> 00:26:48,914
sometimes I can't help but bring stressful things

741
00:26:48,914 --> 00:26:50,275
to him because that's the nature of life.

742
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:52,455
Right? We gotta have the hard conversation

743
00:26:52,994 --> 00:26:53,894
about something.

744
00:26:55,849 --> 00:26:57,849
The other day, I needed to tell him

745
00:26:57,849 --> 00:26:59,369
something that I knew he wasn't gonna like.

746
00:26:59,369 --> 00:27:01,849
And I basically said, I'm not having this

747
00:27:01,849 --> 00:27:03,950
conversation with you while you are still sober.

748
00:27:04,169 --> 00:27:05,230
I'm gonna need you

749
00:27:06,169 --> 00:27:08,554
to just light it up.

750
00:27:13,194 --> 00:27:15,755
But it's you know, I I get that

751
00:27:16,535 --> 00:27:19,255
that desire to do what you can to

752
00:27:19,255 --> 00:27:21,894
help. When you care about somebody, regardless of

753
00:27:21,894 --> 00:27:23,690
role, you you don't want them to be

754
00:27:23,690 --> 00:27:25,769
suffering. You don't want them to be going

755
00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:27,309
through it. You want to help.

756
00:27:29,130 --> 00:27:31,049
But depending on the type of person they

757
00:27:31,049 --> 00:27:32,730
are, sometimes there's only so much you can

758
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:33,230
do.

759
00:27:33,690 --> 00:27:34,590
What do you

760
00:27:35,565 --> 00:27:37,964
find helps you or that I do that

761
00:27:37,964 --> 00:27:39,884
works for you? Well, you know because you

762
00:27:39,884 --> 00:27:40,544
are a

763
00:27:40,924 --> 00:27:41,424
stubborn

764
00:27:41,724 --> 00:27:42,625
human being.

765
00:27:43,724 --> 00:27:44,944
I get it from Lola.

766
00:27:45,404 --> 00:27:45,904
Whatever.

767
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,559
You know, I know. I am stubborn about

768
00:27:51,559 --> 00:27:52,539
accepting help.

769
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,039
Okay? That,

770
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:55,980
and,

771
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,039
you know, when you started talking about how,

772
00:28:00,039 --> 00:28:01,694
you know, when I'm off doing something you

773
00:28:01,694 --> 00:28:03,394
you'll go ahead and do the thing.

774
00:28:04,815 --> 00:28:07,534
And, you know, more times than not I'm

775
00:28:07,534 --> 00:28:08,034
like,

776
00:28:09,214 --> 00:28:11,075
okay. Thank you for doing that.

777
00:28:12,255 --> 00:28:14,815
Yeah. You're gracious in it. Yeah. There have

778
00:28:14,815 --> 00:28:16,255
been a couple of times I've gone, I'm

779
00:28:16,255 --> 00:28:18,069
just gonna handle that for you. And you

780
00:28:18,069 --> 00:28:19,589
just go, oh, thank God. I didn't wanna

781
00:28:19,589 --> 00:28:21,509
have to do that. True. That is true.

782
00:28:21,509 --> 00:28:22,490
So Yeah.

783
00:28:22,950 --> 00:28:24,309
So, you know, I I may,

784
00:28:25,909 --> 00:28:26,889
grump and grouse.

785
00:28:27,349 --> 00:28:29,129
Oh, so much grumping, so much

786
00:28:31,605 --> 00:28:33,704
grousing. But, all in all, I just

787
00:28:37,365 --> 00:28:39,684
You've learned to be more gracious though. You're

788
00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:41,544
still really bad at asking.

789
00:28:42,085 --> 00:28:44,259
You will not ask for help when you

790
00:28:44,259 --> 00:28:44,759
are

791
00:28:45,779 --> 00:28:48,339
And see when you're For me, that is

792
00:28:48,339 --> 00:28:50,119
something that come came from

793
00:28:51,460 --> 00:28:52,359
the fact that

794
00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:55,779
many times I was not getting help even

795
00:28:55,779 --> 00:28:57,079
if I wanted it. Sure.

796
00:28:57,380 --> 00:29:00,154
Yeah. And I have that problem myself. If

797
00:29:00,154 --> 00:29:01,914
I need help, I'm not real quick to

798
00:29:01,914 --> 00:29:02,894
ask for it.

799
00:29:03,355 --> 00:29:05,035
I just you you and I both will

800
00:29:05,035 --> 00:29:07,674
try to white knuckle through whatever. Yeah. But

801
00:29:07,674 --> 00:29:10,394
there's, you know, there's different vibes when it's

802
00:29:10,394 --> 00:29:11,845
just you have a lot going on and

803
00:29:11,845 --> 00:29:11,952
you're a little overwhelmed Mhmm. Versus there's bad

804
00:29:11,952 --> 00:29:12,575
shit going on and you are

805
00:29:20,240 --> 00:29:22,480
you having a lot going on, it's easy.

806
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:23,839
I just go, I'll pick up this slack.

807
00:29:23,839 --> 00:29:24,819
I'll do this. Whatever.

808
00:29:25,855 --> 00:29:27,714
When it's an emotional thing

809
00:29:28,095 --> 00:29:28,595
and,

810
00:29:30,494 --> 00:29:32,595
there's no real fixing it, there's nothing

811
00:29:33,454 --> 00:29:35,234
time will be the only thing. Right?

812
00:29:35,775 --> 00:29:37,710
Or decisions other people make that none of

813
00:29:37,710 --> 00:29:39,470
us have any control over will be the

814
00:29:39,470 --> 00:29:40,369
only thing that

815
00:29:40,670 --> 00:29:42,210
help. Then it's just more,

816
00:29:43,069 --> 00:29:44,929
you know, I tend to lean

817
00:29:45,869 --> 00:29:46,769
more into

818
00:29:48,029 --> 00:29:50,529
probably my nicer submissive side.

819
00:29:52,785 --> 00:29:54,884
You know, I'm I'm probably more deferential,

820
00:29:56,225 --> 00:29:57,765
because I've learned about you.

821
00:29:58,144 --> 00:29:59,825
What will really fuck you up is when

822
00:29:59,825 --> 00:30:01,125
you feel out of control.

823
00:30:01,664 --> 00:30:03,105
Yeah. And I'm like, okay. What can I

824
00:30:03,105 --> 00:30:05,045
do to give some control back? Like,

825
00:30:05,424 --> 00:30:07,744
without stressing you out. And so every situation

826
00:30:07,744 --> 00:30:09,740
is a little bit different, but I do.

827
00:30:09,740 --> 00:30:11,019
I look for ways that I can help

828
00:30:11,019 --> 00:30:13,419
that don't add to his mental load. Mhmm.

829
00:30:13,660 --> 00:30:14,940
But it that has to work within our

830
00:30:14,940 --> 00:30:17,019
dynamic. Right? Yeah. I have a lot of

831
00:30:17,019 --> 00:30:19,019
autonomy in our dynamic, so I can do

832
00:30:19,019 --> 00:30:20,160
those kinds of things.

833
00:30:21,555 --> 00:30:22,535
And then

834
00:30:24,275 --> 00:30:26,914
I am still sassy and snarky, but I

835
00:30:26,914 --> 00:30:29,335
have gotten better at picking my moments.

836
00:30:30,035 --> 00:30:31,634
That you have. Sometimes I I used to

837
00:30:31,634 --> 00:30:32,835
think it was a good moment and it

838
00:30:32,835 --> 00:30:34,275
was not a good moment. Because what I'm

839
00:30:34,275 --> 00:30:35,770
trying to do when I'm being sassy like

840
00:30:35,770 --> 00:30:38,254
that is get him to laugh, get him

841
00:30:38,254 --> 00:30:40,739
to have a lighter moment. Right? And then

842
00:30:40,739 --> 00:30:43,223
the other thing that I've learned to do

843
00:30:43,223 --> 00:30:45,707
is to offer up things we can do

844
00:30:45,707 --> 00:30:48,191
that I know he enjoys. It's like, hey.

845
00:30:48,191 --> 00:30:51,434
When was the last time you played Terraria?

846
00:30:51,494 --> 00:30:53,494
Or hey, do you wanna watch that show

847
00:30:53,494 --> 00:30:55,735
together? Or whatever the things I know that

848
00:30:55,735 --> 00:30:57,735
we enjoy he enjoys doing or we enjoy

849
00:30:57,735 --> 00:31:00,695
doing together that don't require effort, that can

850
00:31:00,695 --> 00:31:03,174
take his mind off of whatever for even

851
00:31:03,174 --> 00:31:05,095
a small amount of time, that he may

852
00:31:05,095 --> 00:31:07,289
find pleasure in. I will offer those things

853
00:31:07,289 --> 00:31:08,589
up as sort of a reminder

854
00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:11,369
of, hey. There are things, you know, that

855
00:31:11,369 --> 00:31:13,210
aren't all bad and maybe let's go look

856
00:31:13,210 --> 00:31:14,569
at look at that for a minute. You

857
00:31:14,569 --> 00:31:17,690
know? But it's trial and error. I mean,

858
00:31:17,690 --> 00:31:18,190
god.

859
00:31:18,490 --> 00:31:19,230
Been together

860
00:31:20,325 --> 00:31:22,424
almost thirteen years. Yeah.

861
00:31:22,884 --> 00:31:23,704
Lived together

862
00:31:25,125 --> 00:31:25,605
a lot

863
00:31:26,085 --> 00:31:26,984
almost twelve.

864
00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:29,684
What's time? Does time even have a meaning

865
00:31:29,684 --> 00:31:31,684
in it? It's all over a fucking decade,

866
00:31:31,684 --> 00:31:32,424
and so

867
00:31:32,964 --> 00:31:34,804
this has been a slow process. Used to

868
00:31:34,804 --> 00:31:36,329
be I tried to fix things. We have

869
00:31:36,329 --> 00:31:38,009
a whole episode on being a fixer or

870
00:31:38,009 --> 00:31:40,890
whatever. Yep. And that got me into trouble

871
00:31:40,890 --> 00:31:42,269
because that was too

872
00:31:43,690 --> 00:31:44,190
bossy.

873
00:31:47,049 --> 00:31:49,654
I don't fix things with a submissive air.

874
00:31:49,714 --> 00:31:50,214
Okay?

875
00:31:50,914 --> 00:31:52,755
I was in church, got a bitch, and

876
00:31:52,755 --> 00:31:53,974
I'll get shit done.

877
00:31:55,394 --> 00:31:56,294
So Like a bulldozer.

878
00:31:56,755 --> 00:31:57,875
Oh, yeah. Get the fuck out of my

879
00:31:57,875 --> 00:31:59,014
way. I got shit today.

880
00:31:59,474 --> 00:31:59,974
So

881
00:32:00,605 --> 00:32:01,105
yeah.

882
00:32:04,460 --> 00:32:07,419
So I know. Lexi Bunn follows up with,

883
00:32:07,740 --> 00:32:09,019
in my case, we don't live together, so

884
00:32:09,019 --> 00:32:10,619
I'm very limited in things. And he's stubborn

885
00:32:10,619 --> 00:32:12,779
too. I think they all are. He keeps

886
00:32:12,779 --> 00:32:14,640
saying he just wants me to be there.

887
00:32:14,859 --> 00:32:16,880
You know, I think we discount

888
00:32:17,865 --> 00:32:20,585
what that can mean for somebody. Mhmm. Just

889
00:32:20,585 --> 00:32:22,984
knowing that a person that cares about you

890
00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:25,224
and you care about is will listen if

891
00:32:25,224 --> 00:32:27,305
you happen to have something to say, is

892
00:32:27,305 --> 00:32:28,605
there to just be

893
00:32:29,545 --> 00:32:31,224
that person that you're like, I really I

894
00:32:31,224 --> 00:32:32,680
really care about this person. I'm so glad

895
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,359
they're, like, sitting by my side or they're

896
00:32:34,359 --> 00:32:35,799
on the phone with me or they're whatever.

897
00:32:35,799 --> 00:32:37,019
Right? I I think

898
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,779
too many of us,

899
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,019
all roles, all people,

900
00:32:41,799 --> 00:32:44,359
really wanna try and make something better. And

901
00:32:44,359 --> 00:32:46,214
we discount the fact that sometimes our presence

902
00:32:46,214 --> 00:32:47,194
really is enough.

903
00:32:47,734 --> 00:32:50,214
Because, you know, JB does not do well

904
00:32:50,214 --> 00:32:51,994
when he's on his own and miserable.

905
00:32:52,775 --> 00:32:53,275
So

906
00:32:55,174 --> 00:32:57,095
I've got Ella in my home. I see

907
00:32:57,095 --> 00:32:58,134
that. She's

908
00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:02,779
if she's just been a,

909
00:33:03,420 --> 00:33:03,740
a,

910
00:33:04,940 --> 00:33:06,400
I don't want to put it

911
00:33:07,259 --> 00:33:08,400
she's just been around

912
00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:10,480
today and

913
00:33:11,019 --> 00:33:11,920
looking for

914
00:33:13,259 --> 00:33:15,194
pets and comfort, I guess. I know. And

915
00:33:15,355 --> 00:33:16,315
you know, I'm gonna give it to her

916
00:33:16,315 --> 00:33:18,234
because while she's being held and petted like

917
00:33:18,234 --> 00:33:20,075
the baby she is, she's not pissing on

918
00:33:20,075 --> 00:33:21,835
things she's not supposed to pee on. That

919
00:33:21,835 --> 00:33:23,674
is true. That is very true. Oh my

920
00:33:23,674 --> 00:33:25,375
God. True. True. True.

921
00:33:25,755 --> 00:33:27,914
Oh my God. We have yet another room

922
00:33:27,914 --> 00:33:30,075
we have to close off. Yeah. So Ella

923
00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:30,575
doesn't

924
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,160
pee on it. Mhmm. I am so tired

925
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,160
of cleaning up pee y'all. I am so

926
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:36,220
tired of that.

927
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,039
I really don't think all of it is

928
00:33:40,039 --> 00:33:40,539
her

929
00:33:41,559 --> 00:33:43,559
urinary stuff. I think some of it is,

930
00:33:43,559 --> 00:33:45,355
God bless her, She's a bitch from hell.

931
00:33:45,355 --> 00:33:47,275
Mhmm. And if she does not like her

932
00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:48,255
living conditions

933
00:33:48,875 --> 00:33:50,554
She lets you know. Let you know. She

934
00:33:50,554 --> 00:33:52,474
will let you know. See, what I think

935
00:33:52,474 --> 00:33:54,015
she genuinely wants

936
00:33:54,714 --> 00:33:57,355
is to have her litter box be filled

937
00:33:57,355 --> 00:33:58,414
with cloud

938
00:33:58,849 --> 00:34:00,390
and soft things only.

939
00:34:00,769 --> 00:34:01,910
None of this, like,

940
00:34:02,450 --> 00:34:05,029
hard or gritty or this or that litter.

941
00:34:05,410 --> 00:34:07,670
No. Not for her dainty toe beans.

942
00:34:08,369 --> 00:34:10,050
And I'm sorry. I can't let you just

943
00:34:10,050 --> 00:34:12,954
pee on bath mats because they're soft.

944
00:34:13,414 --> 00:34:13,914
Right.

945
00:34:17,414 --> 00:34:18,474
Alice asks if

946
00:34:18,775 --> 00:34:20,454
she'll purr into the mic again. I don't

947
00:34:20,454 --> 00:34:22,614
know. Will you? I'll get you close without

948
00:34:22,614 --> 00:34:24,859
pissing you off. Okay. I pissed her off

949
00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:26,179
enough.

950
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:27,659
So, yeah,

951
00:34:29,159 --> 00:34:30,299
this evening after

952
00:34:30,599 --> 00:34:31,739
the stream is over,

953
00:34:33,159 --> 00:34:34,480
the oldest Road trip.

954
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,414
The oldest has a brass band concert. Oh,

955
00:34:37,414 --> 00:34:39,255
I saw him over the weekend because I

956
00:34:39,255 --> 00:34:41,195
needed to bring him his prescription.

957
00:34:42,054 --> 00:34:43,275
He gets that filled

958
00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:46,534
here. Oh, not on the keyboard, ma'am. He

959
00:34:46,534 --> 00:34:48,074
gets that filled here

960
00:34:48,534 --> 00:34:49,434
in his hometown

961
00:34:49,815 --> 00:34:52,400
instead of college town because of some weird

962
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,639
thing the pharmacy required. It was weird. And

963
00:34:54,639 --> 00:34:56,179
it's because of the specific medication.

964
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,079
So it gives me an opportunity to go

965
00:34:58,079 --> 00:34:58,880
see him. And,

966
00:34:59,599 --> 00:35:01,199
I asked him. I was like, you got

967
00:35:01,199 --> 00:35:01,859
two concerts

968
00:35:02,319 --> 00:35:04,799
back to back and we are too old

969
00:35:04,799 --> 00:35:06,545
to do two nights of this running back

970
00:35:06,545 --> 00:35:07,204
and forth

971
00:35:07,585 --> 00:35:09,505
for your concerts. I was like, which would

972
00:35:09,505 --> 00:35:10,244
you prefer?

973
00:35:11,184 --> 00:35:13,505
And he's like, brass band? I said, look.

974
00:35:13,505 --> 00:35:14,865
I have to ask. I said, what if

975
00:35:14,865 --> 00:35:16,724
you had a solo in this other one?

976
00:35:16,865 --> 00:35:17,684
He was like,

977
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,480
I wouldn't. And even then, I still wouldn't

978
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:21,840
care. Go to brass band. I was like,

979
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:23,840
okay. I'll go to brass band, which is

980
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,699
my preferred. It's a smaller audience.

981
00:35:26,079 --> 00:35:27,219
It's more relaxed.

982
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,625
The conductor of the concert he had last

983
00:35:31,005 --> 00:35:32,844
night will not allow them to open the

984
00:35:32,844 --> 00:35:33,824
doors until

985
00:35:34,364 --> 00:35:37,005
a very specific time, like ten after seven

986
00:35:37,005 --> 00:35:38,444
or something. So if you get there early

987
00:35:38,444 --> 00:35:40,125
trying to avoid the crowd, you are just

988
00:35:40,125 --> 00:35:40,944
waiting there.

989
00:35:41,244 --> 00:35:43,699
The conductor of the concert for tonight is

990
00:35:43,699 --> 00:35:45,299
so laid back. She's like, you can come

991
00:35:45,299 --> 00:35:47,719
on in while we're warming up and rehearsing.

992
00:35:47,940 --> 00:35:50,099
We don't care. I'm just like, I just

993
00:35:50,099 --> 00:35:52,500
wanna get a seat in the exact section

994
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:55,219
I like with minimal amount of strange people

995
00:35:55,219 --> 00:35:57,085
around me. I I mean, did we have

996
00:35:57,085 --> 00:35:59,085
to wait till this child's was it just

997
00:35:59,085 --> 00:36:00,765
this school year? It's junior year we got

998
00:36:00,765 --> 00:36:03,325
this right? The way the auditorium is, there's

999
00:36:03,325 --> 00:36:05,505
the middle of the auditorium, really long rows,

1000
00:36:06,204 --> 00:36:08,125
people around you for fucking days. And then

1001
00:36:08,125 --> 00:36:10,125
on the side of the auditorium, there's rows

1002
00:36:10,125 --> 00:36:12,260
of four, and we are three.

1003
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:14,820
And it's only in the

1004
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,840
most packed concerts, which only happens once a

1005
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:20,640
year, that somebody sits in that fourth scene.

1006
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,640
Every other concert is just the three of

1007
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,594
us just chilling in our little row. No

1008
00:36:25,594 --> 00:36:27,695
stranger sitting next to us.

1009
00:36:29,514 --> 00:36:30,655
Oh my gosh.

1010
00:36:32,474 --> 00:36:32,795
So

1011
00:36:34,074 --> 00:36:34,974
Excuse me.

1012
00:36:35,594 --> 00:36:36,474
Nikkita asked,

1013
00:36:37,359 --> 00:36:39,859
are there such things as trial dynamics?

1014
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,400
And when do you recommend trying that out?

1015
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,579
You know, I I haven't

1016
00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:46,900
thought of that in a long time, but,

1017
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:49,920
you know, kind of there is in a

1018
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:50,295
sense.

1019
00:36:51,255 --> 00:36:53,034
Used to be talked about a lot

1020
00:36:54,135 --> 00:36:55,494
back in the day when I first came

1021
00:36:55,494 --> 00:36:56,315
into the

1022
00:36:57,014 --> 00:36:57,514
community

1023
00:36:58,454 --> 00:37:00,694
where someone would be what they called under

1024
00:37:00,694 --> 00:37:01,194
consideration.

1025
00:37:01,574 --> 00:37:03,469
Yes. Yes. Yes. I remember that.

1026
00:37:04,010 --> 00:37:06,510
K. You know, they'd be under consideration

1027
00:37:06,809 --> 00:37:09,630
to be your sub. They'd be under consideration

1028
00:37:09,849 --> 00:37:12,250
for collaring. Yeah. And it was all my

1029
00:37:12,250 --> 00:37:14,969
experience of seeing it, it was always under

1030
00:37:14,969 --> 00:37:16,109
the Dom's consideration.

1031
00:37:16,489 --> 00:37:18,464
Yes. I would sometimes

1032
00:37:18,764 --> 00:37:20,784
hear people talk about it in,

1033
00:37:21,644 --> 00:37:23,105
a way that I've appreciated,

1034
00:37:23,484 --> 00:37:25,505
which was we are under each other's consideration,

1035
00:37:25,885 --> 00:37:27,484
but the dom is kind of technically in

1036
00:37:27,484 --> 00:37:29,344
charge. Sort of, they would go through

1037
00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,150
kind of this trial with one other. And

1038
00:37:31,150 --> 00:37:32,989
then after a certain amount of time, whatever

1039
00:37:32,989 --> 00:37:34,670
time they had prenegotiated, they'd sit down and

1040
00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:36,449
go, how do we both feel about this?

1041
00:37:36,750 --> 00:37:39,170
But there yes. There was always a certain

1042
00:37:39,789 --> 00:37:42,530
layer, a certain class of doms.

1043
00:37:43,230 --> 00:37:44,110
It was the

1044
00:37:45,224 --> 00:37:47,224
they, you know, they have to prove themselves

1045
00:37:47,224 --> 00:37:48,905
to me for me to be their dom,

1046
00:37:48,905 --> 00:37:51,144
which that is true, but there was never

1047
00:37:51,144 --> 00:37:53,065
the and I have to prove myself. But

1048
00:37:53,065 --> 00:37:55,644
works both ways, really. Yeah. Right. So Yeah.

1049
00:37:56,585 --> 00:37:56,825
And,

1050
00:37:57,785 --> 00:37:59,099
should you I mean,

1051
00:37:59,660 --> 00:38:01,739
if you want to, if that Yeah. You

1052
00:38:01,739 --> 00:38:03,340
know? And I get my thing is always

1053
00:38:03,340 --> 00:38:05,340
whenever you choose to do anything, in this

1054
00:38:05,340 --> 00:38:07,340
case, a trial dynamic, is to make sure

1055
00:38:07,340 --> 00:38:08,079
you understand

1056
00:38:08,380 --> 00:38:10,539
why and what purpose it serves. Mhmm. Is

1057
00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:12,300
it a trial dynamic to see if this

1058
00:38:12,300 --> 00:38:13,920
specific type of dynamic

1059
00:38:14,484 --> 00:38:15,304
works for you?

1060
00:38:15,844 --> 00:38:18,085
Or is it this specific partner or the

1061
00:38:18,085 --> 00:38:19,945
fact that, okay. I'm with this partner.

1062
00:38:20,565 --> 00:38:22,664
We're gonna experiment with power exchange.

1063
00:38:23,125 --> 00:38:24,505
You know? That's cool.

1064
00:38:24,885 --> 00:38:25,625
Is it

1065
00:38:26,005 --> 00:38:27,224
the under consideration

1066
00:38:27,605 --> 00:38:28,505
kind of vibe?

1067
00:38:29,349 --> 00:38:30,010
You know,

1068
00:38:30,389 --> 00:38:32,710
for me, I know my personality. I know

1069
00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:34,469
how I am with relationships. That that's not

1070
00:38:34,469 --> 00:38:35,909
something that would ever work for me under

1071
00:38:35,909 --> 00:38:38,469
probably any circumstance other than I'm already in

1072
00:38:38,469 --> 00:38:40,730
this relationship and we wanna experience

1073
00:38:41,190 --> 00:38:43,364
experiment with different ways of doing a dynamic,

1074
00:38:43,364 --> 00:38:44,585
yeah, I could do that.

1075
00:38:45,925 --> 00:38:48,244
If it's what you need to help you

1076
00:38:48,244 --> 00:38:48,744
feel

1077
00:38:49,204 --> 00:38:51,445
secure in whatever decision you're making about a

1078
00:38:51,445 --> 00:38:54,565
partner, the dynamic you wanna be in with

1079
00:38:54,644 --> 00:38:57,684
in in general and or with a specific

1080
00:38:57,684 --> 00:38:59,539
partner, I don't think there's anything wrong with

1081
00:38:59,539 --> 00:39:01,699
that. I think it needs to be negotiated

1082
00:39:01,699 --> 00:39:04,019
like anything else. How long? What are the

1083
00:39:04,019 --> 00:39:07,139
parameters? Mhmm. What will both partners do? How

1084
00:39:07,139 --> 00:39:09,059
will they behave? What is this that you're

1085
00:39:09,059 --> 00:39:10,119
trying to accomplish?

1086
00:39:12,275 --> 00:39:12,934
You know.

1087
00:39:13,554 --> 00:39:15,574
But if that offers some comfort

1088
00:39:16,114 --> 00:39:17,894
and helps you feel like you're

1089
00:39:18,914 --> 00:39:20,375
able to make a decision

1090
00:39:20,835 --> 00:39:21,494
for yourself,

1091
00:39:22,114 --> 00:39:23,494
I would say go for it.

1092
00:39:23,875 --> 00:39:26,150
Mhmm. I I mean, it's a it it

1093
00:39:26,230 --> 00:39:27,750
you know, doing something like that, it's a

1094
00:39:27,750 --> 00:39:31,109
personal Mhmm. Decision. There's, you know again, there's

1095
00:39:31,109 --> 00:39:32,329
no manual that says,

1096
00:39:32,789 --> 00:39:34,789
you know, this is how it's done. Mhmm.

1097
00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:37,529
You do it however works for you. Mhmm.

1098
00:39:38,405 --> 00:39:38,905
And,

1099
00:39:39,284 --> 00:39:41,704
you know, yeah. That's, you know, yeah.

1100
00:39:42,405 --> 00:39:43,065
Mhmm. Mhmm.

1101
00:39:45,284 --> 00:39:45,784
So

1102
00:39:46,644 --> 00:39:48,804
what else is going on with you? What

1103
00:39:48,804 --> 00:39:50,005
else is going on with me? Feel free

1104
00:39:50,005 --> 00:39:52,619
for anybody watching if you wanna do a

1105
00:39:53,740 --> 00:39:54,240
question.

1106
00:39:54,860 --> 00:39:55,360
Well,

1107
00:39:55,980 --> 00:39:58,700
my my days have been kind of broken

1108
00:39:58,700 --> 00:39:59,680
up this week.

1109
00:40:00,380 --> 00:40:00,880
Mhmm.

1110
00:40:01,180 --> 00:40:02,140
Mhmm. And,

1111
00:40:03,740 --> 00:40:05,360
I have been,

1112
00:40:07,125 --> 00:40:10,405
you know, I I I think anytime you

1113
00:40:10,405 --> 00:40:10,905
have

1114
00:40:11,684 --> 00:40:14,025
anything you do really, you know, whether it's

1115
00:40:14,085 --> 00:40:16,505
a wood shop or or any kind of,

1116
00:40:18,724 --> 00:40:19,864
it's like an ongoing

1117
00:40:21,300 --> 00:40:21,800
thing.

1118
00:40:24,099 --> 00:40:25,160
I I just

1119
00:40:25,460 --> 00:40:26,360
worked on

1120
00:40:26,820 --> 00:40:28,280
tweaking the dust collection

1121
00:40:28,980 --> 00:40:30,280
in the tiny shop.

1122
00:40:32,260 --> 00:40:32,579
And,

1123
00:40:33,300 --> 00:40:34,900
then today where I was working on this

1124
00:40:34,900 --> 00:40:35,800
was an unexpected.

1125
00:40:36,375 --> 00:40:37,835
The big dust collector

1126
00:40:40,454 --> 00:40:41,355
in the garage

1127
00:40:43,094 --> 00:40:44,074
sprung a leak.

1128
00:40:44,695 --> 00:40:46,954
Yeah. It's not supposed to do that. Nope.

1129
00:40:47,014 --> 00:40:49,494
Nope. Nope. Nope. Okay, Emma. So,

1130
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,320
found found what I needed to get. Ordered

1131
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:54,860
parts. They'll be here Saturday.

1132
00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:57,400
And today, I took the stupid thing all

1133
00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:57,900
apart,

1134
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:01,900
cleaned it, and

1135
00:41:03,815 --> 00:41:05,335
have it all ready. So that way when

1136
00:41:05,335 --> 00:41:06,474
the parts show up,

1137
00:41:07,574 --> 00:41:09,094
hopefully just throw it on and,

1138
00:41:09,894 --> 00:41:11,514
can start milling wood again.

1139
00:41:11,815 --> 00:41:13,654
Yeah. We need to. Yeah. Yeah. We need

1140
00:41:13,654 --> 00:41:14,855
to. Yes. We do. The only reason we

1141
00:41:14,855 --> 00:41:16,839
could restock paddles is we had milled the

1142
00:41:16,839 --> 00:41:18,460
wood before Christmas. Right.

1143
00:41:19,159 --> 00:41:22,039
We have a question. Okay. Enchanted wings. Hi,

1144
00:41:22,039 --> 00:41:22,859
enchanted wings.

1145
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:25,800
Any tips for being in class with an

1146
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,039
ex partner who still wants most of the

1147
00:41:28,039 --> 00:41:30,380
physical affection we had in our past relationship?

1148
00:41:31,079 --> 00:41:32,855
Well, I guess it depends on what you

1149
00:41:32,855 --> 00:41:35,914
want. Right. If you don't want any of

1150
00:41:35,974 --> 00:41:36,375
that,

1151
00:41:36,775 --> 00:41:39,034
you're gonna have to communicate very firm boundaries,

1152
00:41:41,094 --> 00:41:41,755
and then

1153
00:41:43,255 --> 00:41:45,639
report to whoever is kind of the authority

1154
00:41:45,639 --> 00:41:48,059
in that Mhmm. Place if they

1155
00:41:48,519 --> 00:41:49,739
violate those boundaries.

1156
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,639
If you want it Yeah. Then I still

1157
00:41:53,639 --> 00:41:55,500
think there's probably needs to be a conversation

1158
00:41:55,639 --> 00:41:57,880
to sort of negotiate what that looks like.

1159
00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:58,380
Yeah.

1160
00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:02,414
But if you express that you what you

1161
00:42:02,414 --> 00:42:04,414
do or don't want and they do not

1162
00:42:04,414 --> 00:42:05,635
abide by it,

1163
00:42:06,414 --> 00:42:08,654
you know, hopefully, there is somebody in that

1164
00:42:08,654 --> 00:42:10,654
space who can you know, the rules have

1165
00:42:10,654 --> 00:42:12,494
been laid out clearly. You know, I'm thinking

1166
00:42:12,494 --> 00:42:13,769
of a kink space. Right?

1167
00:42:14,730 --> 00:42:17,789
And will remove somebody if they cannot behave.

1168
00:42:18,890 --> 00:42:21,550
I hesitate to tell somebody to remove themself,

1169
00:42:22,409 --> 00:42:24,090
because I should that's not fair. You shouldn't

1170
00:42:24,090 --> 00:42:25,849
have to give up something because somebody else,

1171
00:42:25,849 --> 00:42:26,510
you know,

1172
00:42:26,875 --> 00:42:28,335
is shitty. But sometimes,

1173
00:42:29,355 --> 00:42:31,695
depending on the place and what

1174
00:42:32,635 --> 00:42:34,235
the people in charge are willing to do

1175
00:42:34,235 --> 00:42:35,755
or are not willing to do, you have

1176
00:42:35,755 --> 00:42:36,894
to do that. So

1177
00:42:37,594 --> 00:42:38,255
I think,

1178
00:42:39,355 --> 00:42:40,094
it just

1179
00:42:40,394 --> 00:42:41,934
it depends on the

1180
00:42:42,549 --> 00:42:45,109
the situation. If you do not want their

1181
00:42:45,109 --> 00:42:46,250
physical affection

1182
00:42:47,029 --> 00:42:47,529
Right.

1183
00:42:49,989 --> 00:42:52,150
Say that? Yeah. I mean, you you set

1184
00:42:52,150 --> 00:42:54,710
the boundaries. Mhmm. Mhmm. Those those those are

1185
00:42:54,710 --> 00:42:56,170
your boundaries. So whatever

1186
00:42:56,864 --> 00:42:58,864
that means to you in this case, it

1187
00:42:58,945 --> 00:43:00,784
it's up to you to set those boundaries.

1188
00:43:00,784 --> 00:43:02,704
Right. And hopefully, they will respect those boundaries.

1189
00:43:02,704 --> 00:43:03,204
Right.

1190
00:43:04,144 --> 00:43:06,704
And, you know, if you can coordinate it

1191
00:43:06,704 --> 00:43:08,144
and you don't want to be around them

1192
00:43:08,144 --> 00:43:09,840
and you don't want that effect from them,

1193
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,920
you know, sit in a different location. If

1194
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:13,599
you can't, again, I hate having you tell

1195
00:43:13,599 --> 00:43:15,440
somebody who is being bothered that they need

1196
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,700
to change their behavior. Like, that sucks.

1197
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,739
It should be a person doing the bothering.

1198
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,264
If it's awkward in the sense of, this

1199
00:43:24,264 --> 00:43:27,545
is just weird but not unwanted necessarily, I

1200
00:43:27,545 --> 00:43:28,045
still

1201
00:43:28,744 --> 00:43:30,744
just have a conversation. And to the extent

1202
00:43:30,744 --> 00:43:32,664
of, like, this is weird. Right? Yeah. Maybe

1203
00:43:32,664 --> 00:43:34,264
maybe they agree. Maybe they get it. Maybe

1204
00:43:34,264 --> 00:43:34,925
they don't.

1205
00:43:36,344 --> 00:43:37,005
You know?

1206
00:43:37,385 --> 00:43:39,065
But but think about what you want and

1207
00:43:39,065 --> 00:43:39,539
then

1208
00:43:40,019 --> 00:43:41,480
and then focus on that.

1209
00:43:42,340 --> 00:43:45,380
Who cares if it pisses that person off

1210
00:43:45,380 --> 00:43:47,880
or they don't like it or that that

1211
00:43:48,340 --> 00:43:49,539
might be your thing to have to deal

1212
00:43:49,539 --> 00:43:50,980
with, but it is not your problem. I

1213
00:43:51,860 --> 00:43:53,460
those are their emotions and their

1214
00:43:54,085 --> 00:43:55,625
but I hope that there's somebody,

1215
00:43:57,684 --> 00:44:00,265
in that location who can handle things

1216
00:44:00,644 --> 00:44:02,105
if they don't respect your boundaries.

1217
00:44:02,485 --> 00:44:03,445
Yeah. So

1218
00:44:04,804 --> 00:44:06,025
And and, you know,

1219
00:44:06,885 --> 00:44:08,900
she kind of follows up, you know, set

1220
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,900
some boundaries, but it's vanilla class. We know

1221
00:44:10,900 --> 00:44:12,579
each other from kink spaces. You know, it

1222
00:44:12,579 --> 00:44:14,340
doesn't matter if it's a vanilla class. Doesn't

1223
00:44:14,340 --> 00:44:15,720
matter if it's

1224
00:44:17,220 --> 00:44:18,840
a grocery store. Okay?

1225
00:44:20,660 --> 00:44:21,160
Still

1226
00:44:21,984 --> 00:44:24,224
risk those boundaries should still be respected. But

1227
00:44:24,224 --> 00:44:26,625
think about what you want not not the

1228
00:44:26,704 --> 00:44:27,445
what will

1229
00:44:28,224 --> 00:44:28,885
you know,

1230
00:44:29,264 --> 00:44:29,764
don't

1231
00:44:30,224 --> 00:44:33,445
don't worry about hurting feelings or disappointing somebody.

1232
00:44:34,109 --> 00:44:36,109
If you're okay with being around them, but

1233
00:44:36,109 --> 00:44:37,170
it's like that funny

1234
00:44:37,630 --> 00:44:38,130
awkward,

1235
00:44:38,589 --> 00:44:39,089
cool.

1236
00:44:40,429 --> 00:44:40,989
I would

1237
00:44:41,389 --> 00:44:43,150
to respect both y'all's privacies, I would not

1238
00:44:43,150 --> 00:44:46,130
talk about your connection in that space. Maybe

1239
00:44:46,190 --> 00:44:48,029
on a break, right, in the parking lot.

1240
00:44:48,029 --> 00:44:50,454
Oh my gosh. Isn't this weird that we

1241
00:44:50,454 --> 00:44:51,994
see there and here

1242
00:44:52,295 --> 00:44:54,295
and acknowledge it? I think it things get

1243
00:44:54,295 --> 00:44:56,534
way more awkward when everybody pretends it's not

1244
00:44:56,534 --> 00:44:57,034
happening.

1245
00:44:58,375 --> 00:45:00,855
But if it's awkward in the, oh, I'm

1246
00:45:00,855 --> 00:45:03,275
feeling kinda gross and weird now,

1247
00:45:03,815 --> 00:45:06,160
that's when, you know, calls for a little

1248
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:06,820
bit more.

1249
00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:07,860
So

1250
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:14,480
Tayshoo asks, how's the rollout for the thumper

1251
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,640
going? Looking forward to using mine. We are

1252
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:17,380
sold out.

1253
00:45:18,079 --> 00:45:19,860
We are sold out.

1254
00:45:21,515 --> 00:45:22,974
Back to the shop for me.

1255
00:45:23,595 --> 00:45:24,095
Yeah.

1256
00:45:25,035 --> 00:45:27,035
Yeah. At least that was one that doesn't

1257
00:45:27,035 --> 00:45:28,875
require you milling any wood. We've already got

1258
00:45:29,115 --> 00:45:31,055
I've got. Yes. Yeah. Yes.

1259
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:32,860
I

1260
00:45:34,360 --> 00:45:37,640
I'm grateful that other people see what I

1261
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:39,260
see in the thumper.

1262
00:45:40,039 --> 00:45:42,039
I hope everybody else enjoys it the way

1263
00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:43,179
that I enjoy it.

1264
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,780
But, yeah, we

1265
00:45:45,565 --> 00:45:48,144
sold by okay. So the sale started Friday.

1266
00:45:48,364 --> 00:45:48,864
Mhmm.

1267
00:45:49,724 --> 00:45:53,085
I was still processing weekend orders yesterday on

1268
00:45:53,085 --> 00:45:55,324
Tuesday, which that is unusual. Normally, whatever comes

1269
00:45:55,324 --> 00:45:57,085
in over the weekend, I've dealt with them

1270
00:45:57,085 --> 00:45:58,844
on Monday, and there were too damn money,

1271
00:45:58,844 --> 00:46:00,844
which many, which is a great problem to

1272
00:46:00,844 --> 00:46:03,559
have. So I was finishing up by Tuesday.

1273
00:46:04,659 --> 00:46:05,400
And Tuesday,

1274
00:46:07,139 --> 00:46:08,980
it's when I knew they were sold out.

1275
00:46:08,980 --> 00:46:10,659
They could have sold out on Monday, but

1276
00:46:10,659 --> 00:46:11,559
I didn't see

1277
00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:13,559
the order come through. So

1278
00:46:14,099 --> 00:46:15,079
we didn't exactly

1279
00:46:15,735 --> 00:46:16,235
have,

1280
00:46:16,775 --> 00:46:18,715
like, 50 of them. You know? It's

1281
00:46:20,135 --> 00:46:23,434
but, yeah, they actually the thumper sold out

1282
00:46:23,815 --> 00:46:24,954
and sold faster

1283
00:46:25,335 --> 00:46:26,315
than our diabolical

1284
00:46:26,615 --> 00:46:27,755
sticks. Yeah.

1285
00:46:28,859 --> 00:46:31,579
And that that's a strange thing to experience

1286
00:46:31,579 --> 00:46:33,659
because usually the diabolical sticks, they're gone They're

1287
00:46:33,659 --> 00:46:35,199
gone. In a weekend. Mhmm.

1288
00:46:35,579 --> 00:46:36,079
So

1289
00:46:36,380 --> 00:46:38,059
for anybody who's like, oh, I bet they

1290
00:46:38,059 --> 00:46:40,299
don't have any more Lego diabolical sticks. Yes.

1291
00:46:40,299 --> 00:46:41,739
The hell we do. Feel free to go

1292
00:46:41,739 --> 00:46:43,125
shop. Thecancery.com.

1293
00:46:46,244 --> 00:46:48,505
Good. So Excuse me.

1294
00:46:50,244 --> 00:46:51,144
Pardon me.

1295
00:46:51,764 --> 00:46:52,264
Yeah.

1296
00:46:52,885 --> 00:46:55,125
Oh, and Shannon Wing's follows up. Funny awkward

1297
00:46:55,125 --> 00:46:57,030
at times. He sometimes mentions the things he's

1298
00:46:57,030 --> 00:46:59,110
planning for an event at break. So here's

1299
00:46:59,110 --> 00:47:00,489
the thing I would keep in mind.

1300
00:47:00,869 --> 00:47:02,789
There's nothing wrong with y'all chit chatting about

1301
00:47:02,789 --> 00:47:04,630
that if you are comfortable. But if you

1302
00:47:04,630 --> 00:47:06,809
are in mixed company and you're and

1303
00:47:07,190 --> 00:47:09,375
that's what's being talked about and you're concerned

1304
00:47:09,454 --> 00:47:10,355
somebody might overhear,

1305
00:47:10,974 --> 00:47:12,414
that's a boundary to set up. Hey. I'm

1306
00:47:12,414 --> 00:47:13,534
happy to talk about this with you, but

1307
00:47:13,534 --> 00:47:14,974
I don't wanna talk about it in here.

1308
00:47:14,974 --> 00:47:16,655
Let's talk about it when it like, there's

1309
00:47:16,655 --> 00:47:17,715
nobody else around.

1310
00:47:18,094 --> 00:47:19,554
So just, you know

1311
00:47:20,574 --> 00:47:22,494
but it is it I still remember the

1312
00:47:22,494 --> 00:47:23,855
first time I saw a kink friend in

1313
00:47:23,855 --> 00:47:26,730
the parking lot of the grocery store, and

1314
00:47:26,730 --> 00:47:29,550
I lost all chill. Like, I completely forgot

1315
00:47:29,769 --> 00:47:30,910
that until

1316
00:47:31,369 --> 00:47:33,309
you both acknowledge one another,

1317
00:47:33,769 --> 00:47:34,750
if one of you

1318
00:47:35,130 --> 00:47:37,050
pretends they don't see you, then that is

1319
00:47:37,050 --> 00:47:38,925
the rule of, oh, I don't we're not

1320
00:47:38,925 --> 00:47:39,825
having this conversation.

1321
00:47:40,285 --> 00:47:42,125
I'm living my own life and Right. I'm

1322
00:47:42,125 --> 00:47:45,505
not mixing human illnesses. There are people who

1323
00:47:46,285 --> 00:47:47,265
outside of

1324
00:47:48,204 --> 00:47:49,425
their kink life,

1325
00:47:49,724 --> 00:47:51,184
they do not want to be

1326
00:47:51,539 --> 00:47:52,039
approached.

1327
00:47:53,059 --> 00:47:55,619
Mhmm. Yeah. Almost forgot myself. I was so

1328
00:47:55,619 --> 00:47:57,480
excited to see because she's somebody I genuinely

1329
00:47:57,699 --> 00:47:59,960
like. I was so excited to see her.

1330
00:48:00,179 --> 00:48:03,300
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was way better at

1331
00:48:03,300 --> 00:48:03,800
the

1332
00:48:04,260 --> 00:48:04,760
pretending

1333
00:48:06,655 --> 00:48:07,954
we don't exist thing,

1334
00:48:08,815 --> 00:48:10,275
so it's fine.

1335
00:48:12,135 --> 00:48:12,635
So

1336
00:48:15,094 --> 00:48:15,594
yeah.

1337
00:48:16,574 --> 00:48:18,494
Oh, Lola went to the eye doctor on

1338
00:48:18,494 --> 00:48:19,554
Monday. Yes.

1339
00:48:21,389 --> 00:48:24,289
She does not need her antibiotic anymore. Nope.

1340
00:48:24,510 --> 00:48:25,409
We are on

1341
00:48:26,109 --> 00:48:29,010
lookout watch for if her eye gets all

1342
00:48:29,230 --> 00:48:31,170
weird again. Mhmm. But,

1343
00:48:32,109 --> 00:48:34,210
as long as everything stays stable.

1344
00:48:34,574 --> 00:48:35,795
Right. We can,

1345
00:48:36,494 --> 00:48:38,494
we can wait for, like, three and six

1346
00:48:38,494 --> 00:48:41,295
month follow ups. And, apparently, JB got an

1347
00:48:41,295 --> 00:48:43,775
a plus in doing what the vet tells

1348
00:48:43,775 --> 00:48:44,594
you to do

1349
00:48:45,054 --> 00:48:47,214
because the vet was like, look. I'm setting

1350
00:48:47,214 --> 00:48:49,440
this follow-up for three months. But if she

1351
00:48:49,599 --> 00:48:52,239
is completely good in three months, I trust

1352
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:54,260
you to do what you're supposed to do.

1353
00:48:54,319 --> 00:48:56,400
You can call and ask for a six

1354
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,480
month follow-up instead of a three month follow-up

1355
00:48:58,480 --> 00:48:59,679
so you don't have to bring her in

1356
00:48:59,679 --> 00:49:02,114
here for nothing. And I was like, JB

1357
00:49:02,175 --> 00:49:04,515
got the gold star from the vet. Right.

1358
00:49:04,575 --> 00:49:05,635
You you won

1359
00:49:06,015 --> 00:49:06,755
at the vet.

1360
00:49:07,215 --> 00:49:08,815
I guess I did. I didn't even think

1361
00:49:08,815 --> 00:49:09,635
about it.

1362
00:49:11,135 --> 00:49:12,195
I mean, you

1363
00:49:12,575 --> 00:49:14,414
know, I did what I had to do

1364
00:49:14,414 --> 00:49:16,400
for the girl. Mhmm. I

1365
00:49:16,780 --> 00:49:17,280
know.

1366
00:49:18,059 --> 00:49:19,659
Mhmm. And I, you know, I would I

1367
00:49:19,659 --> 00:49:21,260
know I would do what needed to be

1368
00:49:21,260 --> 00:49:23,420
done, but you are way more consistent and

1369
00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:24,719
focused than I am.

1370
00:49:25,659 --> 00:49:27,280
So I'm glad it's you. Well,

1371
00:49:27,739 --> 00:49:29,359
I I had to

1372
00:49:29,819 --> 00:49:30,319
create

1373
00:49:30,704 --> 00:49:31,605
a whole

1374
00:49:32,625 --> 00:49:33,684
thing around it

1375
00:49:33,985 --> 00:49:36,325
Yeah. You did. To remember. Yeah. You did.

1376
00:49:36,945 --> 00:49:39,445
Because, like, what I had to do at

1377
00:49:40,305 --> 00:49:40,805
breakfast

1378
00:49:42,545 --> 00:49:44,164
noon and then dinner,

1379
00:49:45,630 --> 00:49:48,750
she'd get two drops. Mhmm. And they had

1380
00:49:48,750 --> 00:49:50,210
to be timed twenty minutes apart.

1381
00:49:50,670 --> 00:49:51,170
Mhmm.

1382
00:49:51,550 --> 00:49:52,050
Yep.

1383
00:49:52,909 --> 00:49:54,429
So I had to do all that and,

1384
00:49:54,909 --> 00:49:55,409
yeah.

1385
00:49:57,505 --> 00:49:58,704
But I did it and her eye got

1386
00:49:58,704 --> 00:50:00,565
better. And her eye got better. Yep.

1387
00:50:00,864 --> 00:50:02,704
Knox says in live chat, I'm so infrequently

1388
00:50:02,704 --> 00:50:05,344
in vanilla spaces that I accidentally introduced myself

1389
00:50:05,344 --> 00:50:07,025
as my scene name in a coffee shop

1390
00:50:07,025 --> 00:50:08,864
the other day. I will have you know,

1391
00:50:08,864 --> 00:50:11,519
I live my life more as Kayla Lords

1392
00:50:11,519 --> 00:50:14,019
than I do Mhmm. Insert legal name here.

1393
00:50:14,559 --> 00:50:16,260
I I have to, like,

1394
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:18,099
consciously remind myself,

1395
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:20,739
this is not a Kayla Lords space.

1396
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,180
Say your legal name. Mhmm.

1397
00:50:26,614 --> 00:50:27,114
Yeah.

1398
00:50:28,135 --> 00:50:29,114
Oh my gosh.

1399
00:50:31,414 --> 00:50:33,655
So for anybody who's ever like, what are

1400
00:50:33,655 --> 00:50:36,234
the Friday night livestreams like? This, but more,

1401
00:50:36,855 --> 00:50:40,199
higher energy and more chaotic, but this. Also,

1402
00:50:40,199 --> 00:50:41,719
on Friday nights, we do tend to talk

1403
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:42,619
more about food

1404
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,739
Mhmm. Movies and TV shows. Mhmm.

1405
00:50:46,359 --> 00:50:46,859
Bacon.

1406
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:50,940
There's only one correct type of bacon.

1407
00:50:52,119 --> 00:50:53,625
I watched a reel yesterday,

1408
00:50:56,344 --> 00:50:58,125
followed, but I do not follow

1409
00:50:59,545 --> 00:51:02,264
quickly. I'm very selective in my following on

1410
00:51:02,264 --> 00:51:04,744
social media. But he I guess he's a

1411
00:51:04,744 --> 00:51:05,724
chef, and,

1412
00:51:06,585 --> 00:51:08,425
he and his partner and somebody else that

1413
00:51:08,425 --> 00:51:09,030
was there,

1414
00:51:09,750 --> 00:51:11,429
went to this diner. And the whole thing

1415
00:51:11,429 --> 00:51:12,550
was they were like, okay. Do you have

1416
00:51:12,550 --> 00:51:14,390
regulars here? And the server's like, yeah. We

1417
00:51:14,390 --> 00:51:16,390
do. Okay. I want the meal that you're

1418
00:51:16,390 --> 00:51:17,929
happiest, most cheerful.

1419
00:51:18,390 --> 00:51:20,630
Y'all love to see this regular coming. What

1420
00:51:20,630 --> 00:51:22,949
is their normal order? And they went, okay.

1421
00:51:22,949 --> 00:51:24,550
Blah blah blah. And then he went, and

1422
00:51:24,550 --> 00:51:27,404
I want also, who's your grumpiest? Who's your,

1423
00:51:27,404 --> 00:51:28,065
like, just

1424
00:51:28,844 --> 00:51:30,605
they're not they're not mean. They're not bad,

1425
00:51:30,605 --> 00:51:32,844
but they're they're not cheerful. They're your grumpiest.

1426
00:51:32,844 --> 00:51:34,125
I feel like I would come under I

1427
00:51:34,125 --> 00:51:36,284
would be classified as a grumpy one. I

1428
00:51:36,284 --> 00:51:37,964
want their order too. I wanna see the

1429
00:51:37,964 --> 00:51:38,464
difference.

1430
00:51:38,764 --> 00:51:40,065
The grumpiest one

1431
00:51:41,550 --> 00:51:42,769
likes his bacon

1432
00:51:43,150 --> 00:51:43,650
so,

1433
00:51:45,070 --> 00:51:45,570
crisp

1434
00:51:45,950 --> 00:51:48,269
that it crunches and falls apart upon touching

1435
00:51:48,269 --> 00:51:49,489
it. I went, I

1436
00:51:49,789 --> 00:51:52,590
and loves home fries and wants, like, soft

1437
00:51:52,590 --> 00:51:54,110
cooked eggs. I went, oh my god. I

1438
00:51:54,110 --> 00:51:55,090
am the grumpiest

1439
00:51:55,815 --> 00:51:57,114
person in the entire.

1440
00:51:58,214 --> 00:51:59,734
But, yeah, he said he was like, oh

1441
00:51:59,734 --> 00:52:01,494
my gosh. This is so crispy. And even

1442
00:52:01,494 --> 00:52:02,934
the chef who was doing this little real

1443
00:52:02,934 --> 00:52:05,175
thing went, I prefer crispy is the only

1444
00:52:05,175 --> 00:52:06,855
correct way because it is. And he was

1445
00:52:06,855 --> 00:52:08,695
like, listen to how crispy. And he takes

1446
00:52:08,695 --> 00:52:10,369
this bacon and gets real close-up to his

1447
00:52:10,369 --> 00:52:12,050
mic and he crunches. And I was like,

1448
00:52:12,050 --> 00:52:13,670
well, now I want some damn bacon.

1449
00:52:19,010 --> 00:52:19,510
So

1450
00:52:20,769 --> 00:52:23,410
yeah. It's funny. Apparently, the happiest person, the

1451
00:52:23,410 --> 00:52:25,425
one that's just, like, the lights up the

1452
00:52:25,425 --> 00:52:27,525
space gets a blueberry pancake

1453
00:52:28,065 --> 00:52:29,285
with eggs and bacon.

1454
00:52:30,465 --> 00:52:31,445
And I was like,

1455
00:52:32,704 --> 00:52:35,605
give me the potatoes. They're really crunchy bacon.

1456
00:52:36,144 --> 00:52:37,045
I feel like,

1457
00:52:39,900 --> 00:52:41,359
that fits better for me.

1458
00:52:44,380 --> 00:52:46,780
We used to have all kinds of really

1459
00:52:46,780 --> 00:52:47,519
good diners

1460
00:52:48,059 --> 00:52:49,500
to go to when we lived in Tampa

1461
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:51,500
Bay area. Yeah. Had some really good local

1462
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:54,425
ones. Mhmm. And we have a couple here,

1463
00:52:54,885 --> 00:52:55,385
but

1464
00:52:56,885 --> 00:52:58,425
it's just not the diner

1465
00:52:59,045 --> 00:52:59,545
experience

1466
00:53:00,324 --> 00:53:02,324
that first of all, it's not the diner

1467
00:53:02,324 --> 00:53:04,565
experience of twenty, thirty, forty years ago, which,

1468
00:53:04,565 --> 00:53:07,099
of course, it's not, is anything these these

1469
00:53:07,099 --> 00:53:09,820
days. The one that is actually really close

1470
00:53:09,820 --> 00:53:12,619
to us, since we've lived here, they've gone

1471
00:53:12,699 --> 00:53:13,019
they're,

1472
00:53:13,820 --> 00:53:15,579
they've been bought and sold at least once,

1473
00:53:15,579 --> 00:53:16,719
maybe more than that.

1474
00:53:17,500 --> 00:53:18,719
They're kind of inconsistent.

1475
00:53:19,875 --> 00:53:21,954
Some days, it's freaking amazing. And I'm like,

1476
00:53:21,954 --> 00:53:23,635
this is the best thing I've ever had.

1477
00:53:23,635 --> 00:53:26,135
And some days, I'm like, is this

1478
00:53:26,675 --> 00:53:30,135
sausage gravy or is this paper mache paste?

1479
00:53:30,195 --> 00:53:32,675
What are we eating here? And what did

1480
00:53:32,675 --> 00:53:33,894
you do to the biscuit?

1481
00:53:35,889 --> 00:53:36,710
See, like,

1482
00:53:37,170 --> 00:53:37,909
to me,

1483
00:53:39,730 --> 00:53:42,210
the diner experience I I recognize it will

1484
00:53:42,210 --> 00:53:43,409
never be as cheap as it used to

1485
00:53:43,409 --> 00:53:45,409
be, which is very sad because nothing will

1486
00:53:45,409 --> 00:53:46,869
be as cheap as it used to be.

1487
00:53:47,170 --> 00:53:49,349
But, like, if I'm going to a diner,

1488
00:53:49,489 --> 00:53:50,710
a greasy diner,

1489
00:53:51,045 --> 00:53:52,804
those better be some of the best biscuits

1490
00:53:52,804 --> 00:53:55,464
I've ever had in my fucking life. Right?

1491
00:53:55,525 --> 00:53:56,425
Like, that's just

1492
00:53:56,885 --> 00:53:59,364
I mean, to to me, the closest place

1493
00:53:59,364 --> 00:54:00,744
I think is the one that's,

1494
00:54:01,764 --> 00:54:04,005
fairly close here. Right. Right. The one I

1495
00:54:04,005 --> 00:54:05,864
was just saying. Mhmm. But they're inconsistent.

1496
00:54:06,789 --> 00:54:08,389
I did sausage gravy, and that was the

1497
00:54:08,389 --> 00:54:10,230
grossest sausage gravy I've ever had and the

1498
00:54:10,230 --> 00:54:11,829
hardest biscuit. I think that's when I went

1499
00:54:11,829 --> 00:54:13,269
with my mom. You weren't there for that

1500
00:54:13,269 --> 00:54:15,109
one. Okay. No. But you were there for

1501
00:54:15,109 --> 00:54:16,549
when both of us went, is this a

1502
00:54:16,549 --> 00:54:17,049
biscuit?

1503
00:54:17,670 --> 00:54:18,809
Oh, yeah. Yeah.

1504
00:54:19,385 --> 00:54:21,944
And in the South, I'm judging you on

1505
00:54:21,944 --> 00:54:24,824
your biscuits. I just am. I don't have

1506
00:54:24,824 --> 00:54:27,324
high expectations once like, we're north

1507
00:54:27,704 --> 00:54:28,525
and, I guess,

1508
00:54:28,824 --> 00:54:30,744
west of the Mason Dixon Line. Like, I

1509
00:54:30,744 --> 00:54:32,610
I get it. We cross the Mississippi.

1510
00:54:38,690 --> 00:54:39,190
South?

1511
00:54:39,890 --> 00:54:40,630
A diner?

1512
00:54:41,250 --> 00:54:41,489
Those

1513
00:54:42,369 --> 00:54:43,970
those biscuits should be so light and fluffy

1514
00:54:43,970 --> 00:54:45,465
they can just they're floating through the fucking

1515
00:54:45,465 --> 00:54:47,625
air, and I'm picking them out of the

1516
00:54:47,625 --> 00:54:48,765
atmosphere. Okay?

1517
00:54:49,224 --> 00:54:49,724
Just

1518
00:54:53,465 --> 00:54:54,684
what is even happening?

1519
00:54:55,704 --> 00:54:57,864
But then again, then you have somewhere like

1520
00:54:57,864 --> 00:54:59,805
Todd and Shelley's where you're never disappointed.

1521
00:55:00,140 --> 00:55:02,699
They are really good. I okay. So they

1522
00:55:02,699 --> 00:55:04,219
used to be a place we went maybe

1523
00:55:04,219 --> 00:55:06,460
once a year. And that's a very diner

1524
00:55:06,460 --> 00:55:06,960
esque,

1525
00:55:08,140 --> 00:55:11,099
experience, but they it's elevated. So their thing

1526
00:55:11,099 --> 00:55:13,119
is not really diner food. It's these hotcakes

1527
00:55:13,579 --> 00:55:15,764
that taste like a dessert, the specialty hotcakes.

1528
00:55:16,324 --> 00:55:17,684
So it used to be we went there,

1529
00:55:17,684 --> 00:55:19,045
like, once and then we didn't go there

1530
00:55:19,045 --> 00:55:20,244
for, like, two years. And then we went

1531
00:55:20,324 --> 00:55:22,005
it was, like, six months. It was really

1532
00:55:22,005 --> 00:55:23,605
rare and special to go. And so I

1533
00:55:23,605 --> 00:55:25,444
always got a specialty hotcake and just had

1534
00:55:25,444 --> 00:55:27,844
dessert for breakfast, and it was delicious. Then

1535
00:55:27,844 --> 00:55:29,304
we went so often

1536
00:55:29,630 --> 00:55:31,550
that I finally went, oh my gosh. I

1537
00:55:31,550 --> 00:55:32,829
think next time we come, I need to

1538
00:55:32,829 --> 00:55:34,670
try something else on their menu. I've literally

1539
00:55:34,670 --> 00:55:36,829
never had anything. Other than the I had

1540
00:55:36,829 --> 00:55:38,989
a BLT the first time because I was

1541
00:55:38,989 --> 00:55:40,670
like, man, I don't know about this hotcake

1542
00:55:40,670 --> 00:55:43,514
business. And then after that, I've only ever

1543
00:55:43,514 --> 00:55:45,135
had hot I've not had anything,

1544
00:55:45,594 --> 00:55:47,355
not a thing else on their menu. Well,

1545
00:55:47,355 --> 00:55:48,795
see, I was I was like you the

1546
00:55:48,795 --> 00:55:50,574
first time I was there

1547
00:55:50,954 --> 00:55:53,375
and I just had the, biscuits and gravy.

1548
00:55:53,994 --> 00:55:54,494
Mhmm.

1549
00:55:54,940 --> 00:55:56,960
And that was but that was just like,

1550
00:55:57,340 --> 00:55:59,519
boom. Yeah. So good. Now

1551
00:56:00,860 --> 00:56:02,860
I do wanna try their biscuits and gravy.

1552
00:56:02,860 --> 00:56:05,179
Mhmm. But they've had moments I've I've seen

1553
00:56:05,179 --> 00:56:07,440
their biscuits haven't always they're not always

1554
00:56:07,820 --> 00:56:10,140
top tier. And I guess it probably depends

1555
00:56:10,140 --> 00:56:12,315
on who you got back there. You know?

1556
00:56:12,695 --> 00:56:14,155
I get it. I get

1557
00:56:14,454 --> 00:56:16,315
it. But I will say their their hotcakes

1558
00:56:17,015 --> 00:56:19,735
at Todd and Shelley's are always immaculate. They're

1559
00:56:19,735 --> 00:56:23,195
so good. These these hotcakes, they're they're like

1560
00:56:24,159 --> 00:56:26,320
that big around. For podcast listeners who could

1561
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:28,179
not see a screen, I would say the

1562
00:56:28,639 --> 00:56:29,139
diameter

1563
00:56:29,519 --> 00:56:32,320
across Mhmm. Is probably six to seven inches

1564
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,960
across. And they're easily an inch. Sometimes an

1565
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,039
inch and a half thick. Yeah. Oh, they're

1566
00:56:37,039 --> 00:56:38,239
so good. And they are so good. And

1567
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:40,014
we get the specialty ones, so it comes

1568
00:56:40,014 --> 00:56:42,414
with toppings. So there's the cinnamon roll one,

1569
00:56:42,414 --> 00:56:43,795
which is my favorite.

1570
00:56:44,094 --> 00:56:46,815
It's cinnamon and butter and the frosting. Oh,

1571
00:56:46,815 --> 00:56:47,554
so good.

1572
00:56:48,014 --> 00:56:49,954
There's a brown sugar one. Yep.

1573
00:56:50,494 --> 00:56:52,835
There's a caramel apple one. Mhmm.

1574
00:56:53,139 --> 00:56:55,539
That's good. Yeah. That one's good. And, of

1575
00:56:55,539 --> 00:56:58,099
course, they've got blueberry and what was another

1576
00:56:58,099 --> 00:56:59,800
one you got? Was it raspberry swirl?

1577
00:57:00,340 --> 00:57:01,780
Is that pretty bad? They got, like, a

1578
00:57:01,780 --> 00:57:02,760
banana one.

1579
00:57:03,300 --> 00:57:04,820
Oh, okay. They got a cookies and cream

1580
00:57:04,820 --> 00:57:07,074
one. I'm like, okay. That for me, that's

1581
00:57:07,214 --> 00:57:09,054
that's too much. That's too much dessert from

1582
00:57:09,135 --> 00:57:10,034
with my breakfast.

1583
00:57:10,494 --> 00:57:12,494
You know, they they are. They are so

1584
00:57:12,494 --> 00:57:14,574
good. They but they're rich. They are so

1585
00:57:14,574 --> 00:57:15,795
rich. Mhmm.

1586
00:57:16,094 --> 00:57:18,730
But they're so good. Oh, mhmm.

1587
00:57:19,109 --> 00:57:19,609
Mhmm.

1588
00:57:20,469 --> 00:57:22,409
So that yeah. That one is a,

1589
00:57:23,829 --> 00:57:25,510
a good place to go. They're not close,

1590
00:57:25,510 --> 00:57:27,109
and they really do need to be reserved

1591
00:57:27,109 --> 00:57:29,109
for special drinks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1592
00:57:29,109 --> 00:57:31,109
Yeah. We finally they were doing an early

1593
00:57:31,109 --> 00:57:31,849
bird special,

1594
00:57:32,434 --> 00:57:33,875
and we kept saying we should go because

1595
00:57:33,875 --> 00:57:35,635
it it was cheap. It was like it

1596
00:57:35,635 --> 00:57:38,034
felt like diner cheap. Right? Mhmm. And I

1597
00:57:38,034 --> 00:57:39,635
was like, you know, us getting away at

1598
00:57:39,635 --> 00:57:41,554
07:00 in the morning for breakfast would be

1599
00:57:41,554 --> 00:57:43,155
so much easier than a lunch date or

1600
00:57:43,155 --> 00:57:44,914
even a dinner date. We should do that

1601
00:57:44,914 --> 00:57:46,928
at some point. And then we didn't because

1602
00:57:46,928 --> 00:57:49,063
that's how things go. And then JB had

1603
00:57:49,330 --> 00:57:51,732
was it your MRI? Yeah. I had yeah.

1604
00:57:51,732 --> 00:57:53,600
It was like an 7AM.

1605
00:57:53,867 --> 00:57:56,269
Early in the morning. Yeah. 6AM or whatever

1606
00:57:56,269 --> 00:57:58,671
MRI. Six. It was 6AM. Yeah. So it

1607
00:57:58,671 --> 00:58:00,565
finishes up and we're like, oh my god.

1608
00:58:00,565 --> 00:58:01,385
We're so hungry.

1609
00:58:02,244 --> 00:58:03,844
And we're like, what do we wanna eat?

1610
00:58:03,844 --> 00:58:05,445
And one of us was like, Todd and

1611
00:58:05,445 --> 00:58:07,364
Jellies is, like, a block away Yep. From

1612
00:58:07,364 --> 00:58:10,005
where he the Yep. The testing place was.

1613
00:58:10,005 --> 00:58:12,164
Yep. And we walk in in time for

1614
00:58:12,164 --> 00:58:15,179
their early bird special, a 100% order their

1615
00:58:15,340 --> 00:58:16,780
from their early bird to find out it

1616
00:58:16,780 --> 00:58:18,380
was the last day. Last day they were

1617
00:58:18,380 --> 00:58:19,579
doing it. They were doing it because it

1618
00:58:19,579 --> 00:58:21,099
had not been a success. They were not

1619
00:58:21,099 --> 00:58:22,719
pulling in people. People. Yeah.

1620
00:58:23,420 --> 00:58:26,380
Shelley of Todd and Shelley's was like, sometimes

1621
00:58:26,380 --> 00:58:28,765
my first customer is not till 09:30. I

1622
00:58:28,765 --> 00:58:30,684
am not doing this anymore. And I'm like,

1623
00:58:30,684 --> 00:58:31,664
no, ma'am. You shouldn't.

1624
00:58:32,525 --> 00:58:33,025
So

1625
00:58:34,364 --> 00:58:34,864
but

1626
00:58:35,965 --> 00:58:36,465
yeah.

1627
00:58:37,485 --> 00:58:39,164
But good diner food. See, when I was

1628
00:58:39,164 --> 00:58:40,765
a kid, my dad's thing when we would

1629
00:58:40,765 --> 00:58:42,545
travel anywhere if we had to go on

1630
00:58:42,545 --> 00:58:44,637
the interstate, which was very rare, we did

1631
00:58:44,637 --> 00:58:46,730
not travel like that very often, was truck

1632
00:58:46,730 --> 00:58:49,085
stops. Because that was back then, that was

1633
00:58:49,085 --> 00:58:51,177
cheap and the plates were massive and the

1634
00:58:51,177 --> 00:58:53,271
portions were massive because they had to feed

1635
00:58:53,271 --> 00:58:55,625
trucks. Damn good. Oh my god. It was

1636
00:58:55,625 --> 00:58:57,195
all cooked, I'm sure, in lard.

1637
00:58:57,994 --> 00:58:59,434
It was so good. It was so good.

1638
00:58:59,434 --> 00:58:59,934
Yep.

1639
00:59:00,555 --> 00:59:00,875
I haven't

1640
00:59:01,515 --> 00:59:03,675
even when I've tried to find places to

1641
00:59:03,675 --> 00:59:05,275
start, I have not had anything like that

1642
00:59:05,275 --> 00:59:05,775
since

1643
00:59:06,394 --> 00:59:08,555
the nineties was the last time I had

1644
00:59:08,555 --> 00:59:10,255
a true like, truck stop

1645
00:59:10,555 --> 00:59:11,454
meal experience.

1646
00:59:12,190 --> 00:59:12,769
And yeah.

1647
00:59:14,269 --> 00:59:16,989
Yeah. I I don't know if it still

1648
00:59:16,989 --> 00:59:17,489
exists.

1649
00:59:21,150 --> 00:59:22,289
The last time

1650
00:59:24,190 --> 00:59:25,730
I was up in New York,

1651
00:59:26,574 --> 00:59:28,275
in town where I went to school,

1652
00:59:30,094 --> 00:59:32,114
place called Millbrook Diner. Mhmm.

1653
00:59:32,894 --> 00:59:34,755
And it was actually

1654
00:59:35,215 --> 00:59:37,375
one of those I like a like a

1655
00:59:37,375 --> 00:59:39,074
trailer, you know, the silver.

1656
00:59:39,750 --> 00:59:41,269
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like the old timey

1657
00:59:41,269 --> 00:59:43,829
diner. Like diner diner. Yes. That's where Oh,

1658
00:59:43,829 --> 00:59:45,610
okay. And the last time

1659
00:59:47,909 --> 00:59:50,150
I was up there and no. It wasn't

1660
00:59:50,150 --> 00:59:52,150
last last year. It was time before that.

1661
00:59:52,150 --> 00:59:53,670
There was actually up there for a a

1662
00:59:53,670 --> 00:59:54,465
fun trip.

1663
00:59:55,905 --> 00:59:58,965
It still existed. Oh, wow. Still existed.

1664
00:59:59,344 --> 00:59:59,844
And

1665
01:00:01,025 --> 01:00:01,525
the

1666
01:00:02,224 --> 01:00:03,204
I went in there,

1667
01:00:03,585 --> 01:00:05,525
and the one thing that changed,

1668
01:00:06,465 --> 01:00:08,950
this diner always, you know, had the you

1669
01:00:08,950 --> 01:00:11,670
you you slide into the booth and there's

1670
01:00:11,670 --> 01:00:14,230
the little jukebox machine there. Oh, wow. Yeah.

1671
01:00:14,230 --> 01:00:15,590
Okay? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and you put

1672
01:00:15,590 --> 01:00:17,690
your quarter in and you you flip through,

1673
01:00:18,710 --> 01:00:19,930
they still have them.

1674
01:00:20,309 --> 01:00:21,910
They're digital now. I was gonna say But

1675
01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:24,125
they still have them. It's debit card. Yeah.

1676
01:00:24,125 --> 01:00:26,684
Alright. Yeah. It's digital, but they are still

1677
01:00:26,684 --> 01:00:28,605
there. That's what the day The building itself

1678
01:00:28,605 --> 01:00:30,684
still looks Oh, cool. The same too. I'd

1679
01:00:30,684 --> 01:00:32,784
say the first time I saw a jukebox,

1680
01:00:32,925 --> 01:00:35,664
a full size one Mhmm. That uses, like,

1681
01:00:35,724 --> 01:00:39,010
debit card, I went, I am an old

1682
01:00:39,309 --> 01:00:39,809
lady.

1683
01:00:40,510 --> 01:00:42,690
What is even happening here?

1684
01:00:44,989 --> 01:00:47,250
Oh my god. I'm officially old.

1685
01:00:48,190 --> 01:00:50,030
I'm you know what? I'm good with vending

1686
01:00:50,030 --> 01:00:51,730
machines taken, like,

1687
01:00:52,094 --> 01:00:54,335
then, debit card, credit card, whatever. Mhmm.

1688
01:00:55,855 --> 01:00:57,155
I'm pretty sure it probably,

1689
01:00:58,574 --> 01:01:01,255
helps speed up the price increase because Yeah.

1690
01:01:01,375 --> 01:01:02,355
You know, whatever whatever.

1691
01:01:02,894 --> 01:01:04,497
Like, I'm I'm cool with that because a

1692
01:01:04,497 --> 01:01:07,598
lot of people just don't carry cash. And

1693
01:01:07,598 --> 01:01:10,699
it's fine for anything to to be electronic

1694
01:01:10,699 --> 01:01:13,799
like that and digital like that, but it's

1695
01:01:13,799 --> 01:01:16,925
just the the jukebox experience. Yeah. I'm an

1696
01:01:16,925 --> 01:01:17,585
old lady.

1697
01:01:17,965 --> 01:01:19,425
I'm officially an old lady.

1698
01:01:19,804 --> 01:01:21,724
It's silent for me that it it does

1699
01:01:21,724 --> 01:01:22,465
still exist.

1700
01:01:22,844 --> 01:01:24,144
Okay. Cool. Cool.

1701
01:01:24,525 --> 01:01:26,125
Maybe one day you'll get me that far

1702
01:01:26,125 --> 01:01:28,844
north. Yeah. Hasn't happened yet. Furthest north I've

1703
01:01:28,844 --> 01:01:30,929
ever been is Baltimore, Maryland. And it snowed

1704
01:01:30,929 --> 01:01:31,909
on me that day.

1705
01:01:32,530 --> 01:01:34,150
It's only there for a little bit.

1706
01:01:34,769 --> 01:01:36,690
And when I say snow, I mean, like,

1707
01:01:36,690 --> 01:01:38,849
it touched me and it melted immediately, but

1708
01:01:38,849 --> 01:01:39,349
still.

1709
01:01:39,730 --> 01:01:41,329
I did I stand in front of this,

1710
01:01:41,570 --> 01:01:43,574
hotel we were supposed to be walking into

1711
01:01:43,894 --> 01:01:45,574
and stand and look up and let the

1712
01:01:45,574 --> 01:01:47,815
little speckles of snow hit my face straight

1713
01:01:47,815 --> 01:01:48,635
in because

1714
01:01:48,934 --> 01:01:50,954
I never I never had that experience.

1715
01:01:52,375 --> 01:01:53,974
Now there was a place we thought might

1716
01:01:53,974 --> 01:01:55,574
become like our diner. Because see, when we

1717
01:01:55,574 --> 01:01:57,009
lived in the Bay Area, we had a

1718
01:01:57,009 --> 01:01:59,170
few restaurants diner like restaurants we like to

1719
01:01:59,170 --> 01:02:01,009
go to, but we had a diner. We

1720
01:02:01,009 --> 01:02:02,309
just that's where we went.

1721
01:02:03,569 --> 01:02:05,170
We were trying to find that here where

1722
01:02:05,170 --> 01:02:06,849
we live now, and there was a place

1723
01:02:06,849 --> 01:02:08,690
that it could have been. It was it

1724
01:02:08,690 --> 01:02:09,670
was good food.

1725
01:02:10,055 --> 01:02:11,735
We went and we had a good, good

1726
01:02:11,735 --> 01:02:13,414
breakfast there one day. And we went a

1727
01:02:13,414 --> 01:02:15,015
second time. We're like, okay. This is good.

1728
01:02:15,015 --> 01:02:16,535
And then, like, the next time we wanted

1729
01:02:16,535 --> 01:02:18,215
to go, they'd been shut down, I believe,

1730
01:02:18,215 --> 01:02:20,375
by the health department. Mhmm. And then we

1731
01:02:20,375 --> 01:02:22,500
were talking to family who's lived here for,

1732
01:02:22,500 --> 01:02:23,860
like, forever, and they're like, oh, yeah. That

1733
01:02:23,860 --> 01:02:25,539
place gets shut down by the health department

1734
01:02:25,539 --> 01:02:27,380
all the time. And I'm like, what have

1735
01:02:27,380 --> 01:02:29,000
I walked into? Okay.

1736
01:02:30,019 --> 01:02:30,519
Yeah.

1737
01:02:34,420 --> 01:02:35,940
Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It took

1738
01:02:35,940 --> 01:02:37,219
me a minute to think that the place

1739
01:02:37,380 --> 01:02:39,114
yeah. We drove up and everything was shut

1740
01:02:39,114 --> 01:02:40,715
down one day. Yeah. I was just shuttered.

1741
01:02:40,715 --> 01:02:42,235
I was like because we drove up going,

1742
01:02:42,235 --> 01:02:43,835
oh, wow. Is there not gonna be a

1743
01:02:43,835 --> 01:02:45,135
wait this time? Right.

1744
01:02:45,835 --> 01:02:47,775
Close. Yeah. I know. Yeah.

1745
01:02:49,675 --> 01:02:50,175
I

1746
01:02:51,035 --> 01:02:52,255
know. Yeah.

1747
01:02:55,170 --> 01:02:57,090
Yeah. I used to used to hang out

1748
01:02:57,090 --> 01:02:59,269
at that at that place after,

1749
01:03:03,250 --> 01:03:04,869
used to stay after school

1750
01:03:05,885 --> 01:03:06,385
for,

1751
01:03:07,085 --> 01:03:08,704
after school programs.

1752
01:03:09,724 --> 01:03:11,565
So you weren't really doing after school programs?

1753
01:03:11,565 --> 01:03:13,005
No. You were just telling your parents so

1754
01:03:13,005 --> 01:03:13,964
they would leave you the hell alone. You

1755
01:03:13,964 --> 01:03:15,085
could do what you wanted for a few

1756
01:03:15,085 --> 01:03:16,284
hours till you had to go home. Right.

1757
01:03:16,284 --> 01:03:17,724
So Well, I I didn't learn that trick

1758
01:03:17,724 --> 01:03:19,644
till I was 17. Because I'm a dumbass.

1759
01:03:19,644 --> 01:03:20,625
So, you know,

1760
01:03:20,989 --> 01:03:24,269
stay and, then go downtown, hang up either

1761
01:03:24,269 --> 01:03:25,889
at the general store or

1762
01:03:26,190 --> 01:03:28,349
the diner, and then go back to school

1763
01:03:28,349 --> 01:03:29,710
in time to catch the bus. See, that's

1764
01:03:29,710 --> 01:03:30,769
because you were a hooligan.

1765
01:03:31,549 --> 01:03:33,230
I don't know. You were doing all kinds

1766
01:03:33,230 --> 01:03:34,644
of shit you should've been doing at

1767
01:03:35,025 --> 01:03:36,484
too young of an age.

1768
01:03:37,744 --> 01:03:39,664
See, I was a goody two shoes who

1769
01:03:39,664 --> 01:03:41,344
was like, oh, I'm staying after school because

1770
01:03:41,344 --> 01:03:42,945
I have, like, five club meetings that I

1771
01:03:42,945 --> 01:03:44,784
have to go to plus something to practice

1772
01:03:44,784 --> 01:03:46,964
and there's something else and blah blah blah.

1773
01:03:51,160 --> 01:03:53,320
I've truly, I was in my senior year

1774
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:54,219
of high school

1775
01:03:54,599 --> 01:03:56,840
before I finally got the opportunity and had

1776
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:57,340
the

1777
01:03:57,719 --> 01:04:00,840
intelligence to go, oh, yeah. I gotta I'm

1778
01:04:00,840 --> 01:04:03,765
working an extra shift tonight at my job,

1779
01:04:04,545 --> 01:04:06,644
or I'm working a double, which is overnight.

1780
01:04:07,105 --> 01:04:08,644
I'll see you in the morning.

1781
01:04:10,864 --> 01:04:12,965
I was out running those fucking roads.

1782
01:04:15,309 --> 01:04:17,069
Zion goes, oh, wow. So the place is

1783
01:04:17,069 --> 01:04:19,230
ancient. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy went there when

1784
01:04:19,230 --> 01:04:20,050
he was a kid.

1785
01:04:28,765 --> 01:04:30,925
You know, Tayeshe, the health departments just don't

1786
01:04:30,925 --> 01:04:33,325
have any, like, vision. Tayeshe says my favorite

1787
01:04:33,325 --> 01:04:34,844
Thai food place was closed by the health

1788
01:04:34,844 --> 01:04:37,005
district. It turned out the cooks were traditional

1789
01:04:37,005 --> 01:04:38,305
grandmas dressing in,

1790
01:04:38,820 --> 01:04:41,539
robes and nightgowns with flip flops rollers and

1791
01:04:41,539 --> 01:04:43,539
nightgowns with flip flops. Oh, wow. I bet

1792
01:04:43,539 --> 01:04:45,800
that was the best fucking food thing. Right?

1793
01:04:45,940 --> 01:04:46,760
Like, sure.

1794
01:04:47,780 --> 01:04:49,460
It was not, like, maybe to the health

1795
01:04:49,460 --> 01:04:51,434
department standard, but I bet that I bet

1796
01:04:51,434 --> 01:04:53,594
it was immaculately good. Look at the known

1797
01:04:53,594 --> 01:04:55,114
as we got at the bakery by us

1798
01:04:55,114 --> 01:04:58,075
here. Oh my god. Oh, god. Walk so

1799
01:04:58,075 --> 01:05:00,315
it the Italian bakery, we love it. It's

1800
01:05:00,315 --> 01:05:01,835
very good. I still wanna try one of

1801
01:05:01,835 --> 01:05:03,594
their cakes at some point because they they

1802
01:05:03,594 --> 01:05:05,215
bake cakes and decorate them or whatever.

1803
01:05:06,420 --> 01:05:08,260
You do not go in there for a

1804
01:05:08,260 --> 01:05:10,500
quick, I'm just gonna get a loaf of

1805
01:05:10,500 --> 01:05:13,219
fresh baked bread and leave. You are there

1806
01:05:13,219 --> 01:05:14,819
for a while. Sometimes it's because there's a

1807
01:05:14,819 --> 01:05:16,359
line and sometimes it's because

1808
01:05:17,059 --> 01:05:17,880
their expertise

1809
01:05:18,339 --> 01:05:20,804
is in cooking the food and telling their

1810
01:05:20,804 --> 01:05:22,644
kids and grandkids who have been forced to

1811
01:05:22,644 --> 01:05:24,085
work there to shut the hell up and

1812
01:05:24,085 --> 01:05:24,984
get back to work.

1813
01:05:25,925 --> 01:05:26,425
Efficiency

1814
01:05:26,804 --> 01:05:27,625
and customer

1815
01:05:28,005 --> 01:05:29,925
service? No. No. No. No. But that's not

1816
01:05:29,925 --> 01:05:31,545
why any of us are there anyway.

1817
01:05:32,739 --> 01:05:34,660
No. I've I've watched them before go back

1818
01:05:34,660 --> 01:05:36,260
and forth and back and forth and get

1819
01:05:36,739 --> 01:05:38,180
and I feel I have a lot of

1820
01:05:38,180 --> 01:05:38,680
empathy,

1821
01:05:39,460 --> 01:05:40,900
forget what they were doing in the middle,

1822
01:05:40,900 --> 01:05:42,980
and I just I'm just like, oh gosh.

1823
01:05:42,980 --> 01:05:44,340
Yeah. But you know what? The food's so

1824
01:05:44,340 --> 01:05:46,521
fucking good. None of us are complaining. No.

1825
01:05:46,521 --> 01:05:47,954
It is delicious. And

1826
01:05:49,295 --> 01:05:51,695
it's a it's a working bakery, so it

1827
01:05:51,695 --> 01:05:54,094
is always hot as shit when you walk

1828
01:05:54,094 --> 01:05:54,675
in there.

1829
01:05:55,054 --> 01:05:56,815
When I was at, like, all of the

1830
01:05:56,815 --> 01:05:59,054
hot flashes all of the time, I almost,

1831
01:05:59,054 --> 01:06:00,679
like, I got nauseous in there one time

1832
01:06:00,679 --> 01:06:02,599
because it was just warm in general. It

1833
01:06:02,599 --> 01:06:05,159
was summertime in Florida, and then I lit

1834
01:06:05,159 --> 01:06:07,400
up from within and was like, I'm going

1835
01:06:07,400 --> 01:06:09,420
to die in this Yeah. Bakery.

1836
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:11,639
And we still stood there and waited for

1837
01:06:11,639 --> 01:06:13,275
our brand. And it's not pretty.

1838
01:06:13,574 --> 01:06:15,255
No. God. No. It's not pretty. It's it's

1839
01:06:15,255 --> 01:06:18,135
not this, you know, pretty dressed up fancy

1840
01:06:18,135 --> 01:06:18,635
place.

1841
01:06:19,815 --> 01:06:22,135
It's It's not. It it's been around a

1842
01:06:22,135 --> 01:06:23,894
hot minute. I bet it I bet it

1843
01:06:23,894 --> 01:06:25,894
was beautiful for the time when it was

1844
01:06:25,894 --> 01:06:27,539
new. Yeah. Because you can see where they

1845
01:06:27,619 --> 01:06:29,460
painted murals on the walls of different parts

1846
01:06:29,460 --> 01:06:31,640
of Italy and whatever. Mhmm. Mhmm.

1847
01:06:32,660 --> 01:06:33,320
But yeah.

1848
01:06:33,619 --> 01:06:35,460
I mean, it's some good fucking food though.

1849
01:06:35,460 --> 01:06:38,360
Oh, man. We did learn the lesson of

1850
01:06:38,579 --> 01:06:40,820
we we went a couple days before Christmas

1851
01:06:40,820 --> 01:06:42,835
because we were doing sort of air quote

1852
01:06:42,835 --> 01:06:44,855
Italian kinda Christmas dinner.

1853
01:06:46,195 --> 01:06:47,555
And we wanted to get cannolis, and we

1854
01:06:47,555 --> 01:06:48,994
wanted to get bread, and blah blah blah.

1855
01:06:48,994 --> 01:06:50,594
Mhmm. And we did learn the lesson of

1856
01:06:50,594 --> 01:06:51,954
we should have called and ordered it, so

1857
01:06:51,954 --> 01:06:53,474
we just had to go pick it up.

1858
01:06:53,474 --> 01:06:55,974
Yep. So we got lucky. They had extra.

1859
01:06:56,035 --> 01:06:57,429
And they you know, the

1860
01:06:58,150 --> 01:07:00,390
we we always managed to get a loaf

1861
01:07:00,390 --> 01:07:02,090
of of bread from them,

1862
01:07:02,710 --> 01:07:03,030
but,

1863
01:07:04,070 --> 01:07:06,650
it's it's basically been just the regular Italian

1864
01:07:06,869 --> 01:07:09,030
bread. But they also do rye bread. They

1865
01:07:09,030 --> 01:07:10,844
do marble. We still haven't gotten any of

1866
01:07:10,844 --> 01:07:11,344
that.

1867
01:07:11,644 --> 01:07:13,324
The only way you're getting those, you have

1868
01:07:13,324 --> 01:07:14,304
to order it.

1869
01:07:14,764 --> 01:07:16,525
You have to call up and say, on

1870
01:07:16,525 --> 01:07:18,445
this day I want this. I want x

1871
01:07:18,445 --> 01:07:20,925
amount of this and that loaf and And

1872
01:07:21,005 --> 01:07:22,844
yeah. And I can't figure out how they're

1873
01:07:22,844 --> 01:07:24,525
making money because they don't it does not

1874
01:07:24,525 --> 01:07:26,039
feel expensive. Mhmm.

1875
01:07:26,579 --> 01:07:27,639
And you spend

1876
01:07:28,260 --> 01:07:29,079
$8?

1877
01:07:29,380 --> 01:07:31,139
I think it's 8, might be 10. Mhmm.

1878
01:07:31,139 --> 01:07:33,139
But you spend this minimum amount and you

1879
01:07:33,139 --> 01:07:35,059
were getting a free thing of bread. Yeah.

1880
01:07:35,059 --> 01:07:36,579
And it's not day old, Brady, that you'll

1881
01:07:36,579 --> 01:07:38,500
be fresh bread. And I'm like, you're giving

1882
01:07:38,500 --> 01:07:39,494
so much bread away.

1883
01:07:39,974 --> 01:07:41,095
One one time we,

1884
01:07:42,055 --> 01:07:43,994
came out of there with pizza dough. Mhmm.

1885
01:07:44,215 --> 01:07:45,974
Which was really good. Which was really good.

1886
01:07:45,974 --> 01:07:47,735
Bought several loaves of bread and they were

1887
01:07:47,735 --> 01:07:49,655
like, here, it's pizza dough. We bought the

1888
01:07:49,655 --> 01:07:51,494
cannolis and we bought, I think, something else.

1889
01:07:51,494 --> 01:07:54,420
And we bought a specific, like, baguette thing

1890
01:07:54,420 --> 01:07:56,179
we wanted. And all of that, they're like,

1891
01:07:56,179 --> 01:07:57,539
oh, well, you can have one or two

1892
01:07:57,699 --> 01:07:59,380
like, two things of bread because of this

1893
01:07:59,380 --> 01:08:00,820
purchase and that purchase. And I'm like, well,

1894
01:08:00,820 --> 01:08:02,099
I'm gonna fucking take it because this is

1895
01:08:02,099 --> 01:08:04,019
the best fucking bread I've ever eaten. But

1896
01:08:04,019 --> 01:08:06,025
I'm just in my head going, how? How?

1897
01:08:06,085 --> 01:08:07,445
And then It clearly looks like you're home

1898
01:08:07,445 --> 01:08:09,285
just ripping these baguettes apart and just ripping

1899
01:08:09,285 --> 01:08:11,605
into them and Everybody look Yeah. Every one

1900
01:08:11,605 --> 01:08:13,045
of us gets caught at some point in

1901
01:08:13,045 --> 01:08:15,204
the kitchen. And I say including the 16

1902
01:08:15,204 --> 01:08:17,064
year old Yep. Like a raccoon

1903
01:08:18,239 --> 01:08:20,639
just shoving bread in our faces in a

1904
01:08:20,639 --> 01:08:21,460
dark kitchen,

1905
01:08:22,319 --> 01:08:25,139
not offering to slice a piece for anybody

1906
01:08:25,279 --> 01:08:27,539
else. It is every person for themselves.

1907
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:28,579
This bread.

1908
01:08:30,479 --> 01:08:31,139
That is

1909
01:08:31,679 --> 01:08:32,179
true.

1910
01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:33,460
That is true.

1911
01:08:35,014 --> 01:08:35,514
Yep.

1912
01:08:36,614 --> 01:08:37,114
So

1913
01:08:38,534 --> 01:08:40,135
I'm not one to usually do this, but

1914
01:08:40,135 --> 01:08:41,654
if you'll give me three more minutes, because

1915
01:08:41,654 --> 01:08:43,014
you know me, I love a number that

1916
01:08:43,014 --> 01:08:45,175
ends on a five Mhmm. I'll be willing

1917
01:08:45,175 --> 01:08:47,430
to be done. Our clock says it's 04:12.

1918
01:08:47,430 --> 01:08:48,869
The delay and the lag, I don't know

1919
01:08:48,869 --> 01:08:50,069
what time it'll be by the time you

1920
01:08:50,069 --> 01:08:52,229
hear me say that. But three minutes, and

1921
01:08:52,229 --> 01:08:53,449
then we shall

1922
01:08:53,829 --> 01:08:56,069
be done for the day. As far as

1923
01:08:56,069 --> 01:08:57,770
I know, as long as everything

1924
01:08:58,484 --> 01:09:00,804
stays stable in our lives, we'll be here

1925
01:09:00,804 --> 01:09:01,625
Friday night.

1926
01:09:02,324 --> 01:09:03,064
8PM

1927
01:09:03,284 --> 01:09:04,804
eastern. It used to be a later time.

1928
01:09:04,804 --> 01:09:06,324
It's an earlier time now because we are

1929
01:09:06,324 --> 01:09:08,505
old people. I do keep forgetting.

1930
01:09:09,204 --> 01:09:10,645
Like, I type it out right. And then

1931
01:09:10,645 --> 01:09:12,850
when I start thinking about the Friday night

1932
01:09:12,850 --> 01:09:13,970
livestream Mhmm.

1933
01:09:14,449 --> 01:09:15,890
My brain goes to We haven't done it

1934
01:09:15,890 --> 01:09:17,250
enough at that time yet. We've only done

1935
01:09:17,250 --> 01:09:18,550
it once at that time.

1936
01:09:19,489 --> 01:09:22,529
If anybody keeps count on calendars of, like,

1937
01:09:22,529 --> 01:09:24,210
wait, you would not normally do your Friday

1938
01:09:24,210 --> 01:09:25,649
night livestream at this point in the month,

1939
01:09:25,649 --> 01:09:28,045
we are traveling next weekend. Yeah.

1940
01:09:29,145 --> 01:09:31,145
And that'll be a very long weekend. We

1941
01:09:31,145 --> 01:09:33,385
have an overnight stay in Virginia. We're literally

1942
01:09:33,385 --> 01:09:35,885
flying in the evening of

1943
01:09:36,265 --> 01:09:37,005
the eighteenth,

1944
01:09:37,305 --> 01:09:39,805
flying home the night of the nineteenth.

1945
01:09:40,939 --> 01:09:43,020
Basically, we'll drop pull into our own driveway

1946
01:09:43,020 --> 01:09:44,399
at probably 2AM

1947
01:09:44,699 --> 01:09:47,739
on Saturday the twentieth or twenty first. And

1948
01:09:47,739 --> 01:09:50,139
then at 06:00 on the twenty second, at

1949
01:09:50,139 --> 01:09:51,920
least one of us needs to be

1950
01:09:52,380 --> 01:09:54,859
in Gainesville because the oldest is doing a

1951
01:09:54,859 --> 01:09:56,159
big recital thing.

1952
01:09:56,595 --> 01:09:58,055
And I said, I'll be there.

1953
01:09:58,595 --> 01:09:59,954
I don't I don't know if anybody else

1954
01:09:59,954 --> 01:10:01,074
will be with me, but one of us

1955
01:10:01,074 --> 01:10:02,595
will be there for you. Oh, that will

1956
01:10:02,595 --> 01:10:04,375
be a very long weekend. Yeah. It will.

1957
01:10:04,835 --> 01:10:05,654
So Yeah. It will.

1958
01:10:06,595 --> 01:10:08,055
But it it'll be good

1959
01:10:09,570 --> 01:10:11,570
all the way around. It it there'll be

1960
01:10:11,570 --> 01:10:13,489
some stress and we'll be exhausted. But

1961
01:10:13,890 --> 01:10:16,210
Yep. And Lola's gonna go stay at boarding

1962
01:10:16,210 --> 01:10:17,890
for the first time since we've had her

1963
01:10:18,369 --> 01:10:18,869
Mhmm.

1964
01:10:19,329 --> 01:10:21,109
And get the the luxury

1965
01:10:24,385 --> 01:10:25,265
treatment. So

1966
01:10:25,985 --> 01:10:26,485
Yeah.

1967
01:10:30,864 --> 01:10:32,784
But yeah. So we we moved everything for

1968
01:10:32,784 --> 01:10:34,470
this month. I did not mean to book

1969
01:10:34,470 --> 01:10:36,729
end Valentine's Day with with stuff

1970
01:10:37,270 --> 01:10:39,350
for us because in our Patreon, we have

1971
01:10:39,350 --> 01:10:41,130
our game night on Sunday the fifteenth.

1972
01:10:41,590 --> 01:10:43,510
We don't have any plans for Valentine's Day.

1973
01:10:43,510 --> 01:10:45,750
We don't go out on Valentine's Day. We're

1974
01:10:45,750 --> 01:10:47,050
not doing it to ourselves.

1975
01:10:48,295 --> 01:10:50,534
Never have. Never will. But we haven't had

1976
01:10:50,534 --> 01:10:52,135
a real date night in No. We in

1977
01:10:52,135 --> 01:10:53,434
a while. Yeah.

1978
01:10:53,895 --> 01:10:55,755
So maybe at the end of the month,

1979
01:10:56,694 --> 01:10:59,494
fight time, get through Valentine's weekend when I'm

1980
01:10:59,494 --> 01:11:00,449
not leaving this house,

1981
01:11:01,570 --> 01:11:03,570
and then our travel. You know, I I'm

1982
01:11:03,570 --> 01:11:04,949
I'm gonna make a suggestion

1983
01:11:06,610 --> 01:11:08,850
because we've had a certain gift card for

1984
01:11:08,850 --> 01:11:11,430
over a year now, and we cannot coordinate

1985
01:11:11,650 --> 01:11:14,885
getting everybody we want. No. So I think,

1986
01:11:14,885 --> 01:11:15,545
you know,

1987
01:11:16,484 --> 01:11:18,324
I I I think it's time. Yeah. It

1988
01:11:18,404 --> 01:11:19,845
it's time and, you know It's time to

1989
01:11:19,845 --> 01:11:22,164
actually use Yeah. Yeah. It's it was a

1990
01:11:22,164 --> 01:11:22,664
Christmas,

1991
01:11:23,204 --> 01:11:25,444
family restaurant gift card. Yeah.

1992
01:11:25,765 --> 01:11:27,465
Christmas twenty twenty four.

1993
01:11:29,125 --> 01:11:29,579
Yeah.

1994
01:11:30,380 --> 01:11:33,199
Okay. It is $4.15 by our clock. Okay.

1995
01:11:33,500 --> 01:11:34,960
So we are gonna go.

1996
01:11:35,899 --> 01:11:37,500
Thank you all for being here. Mhmm. Thank

1997
01:11:37,500 --> 01:11:39,180
you all for indulging me in,

1998
01:11:39,899 --> 01:11:41,994
not at all a topic. Thanks to the

1999
01:11:41,994 --> 01:11:44,335
folks who had questions in the live chat.

2000
01:11:45,914 --> 01:11:49,454
Yeah. So we appreciate y'all. Thekinkery.com.

2001
01:11:49,835 --> 01:11:52,635
Having a sale. Patreon.com/kaylalords.

2002
01:11:52,635 --> 01:11:53,935
It's gonna be part of our community.

2003
01:11:55,109 --> 01:11:58,310
Try to support your local, state, whatever, anti

2004
01:11:58,310 --> 01:11:59,609
LGBTQ plus

2005
01:12:00,310 --> 01:12:00,810
groups,

2006
01:12:01,909 --> 01:12:02,409
legislative

2007
01:12:02,710 --> 01:12:03,210
groups.

2008
01:12:03,670 --> 01:12:06,890
Your equality, Florida, your Georgia equality, your Virginia

2009
01:12:07,029 --> 01:12:09,154
equality, those places. Try to support support them

2010
01:12:09,154 --> 01:12:09,734
if you

2011
01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:12,274
can. Yes. And you're gonna go. Mhmm. Okay.

2012
01:12:12,274 --> 01:12:13,734
K. Bye. Bye.