You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode
four seventy two. Kayla Lourdes here with the
one, the only, the
I mean, you're just supportive and wonderful, and
I don't have anything snarky to say because
that requires too much energy, and I just
can't give it. John Brownstone.
Well, okay.
The, I am firing on all cylinders, but
those cylinders are not heating up like they
usually do.
I think that's an appropriate,
analogy. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
You can probably already tell this week. We're
keeping it low key for reasons I'll explain
it a bit.
So we're just calling this one a bonus
section episode where we hopefully because we're time
traveling and we don't know yet, we will
hopefully get questions in the YouTube live chat,
and we'll answer those as well because why
the hell not?
Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this
is your first time listening, glad to have
you. If you're back for another week, welcome
back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and
Friday for your kinky pleasure and education. Show
notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add
the podcast to your favorite podcast app.
And if your podcast app lets you rate,
review, whatever, whatever and you enjoy this,
we would love your rate slash review. It
actually helps other kinksters find us and know
we exist.
You can also follow the show on FetLife
at loving BDSM PC. The PC stands for
podcast,
on Instagram and technically threads with that handle
I will forever fucking hate, which is loving
d s and the number one. So it's
at loving d s one. On blue sky
at loving BDSM dot blah de blah de
blah. Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm
where you can watch us live stream the
podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the
show notes. Okay. Before we get into
the chatting,
the potential questions,
I did have a few things I wanted
to run down.
One,
our Patreon membership drive is still going. It
runs through the February.
If you join in the month of February,
you will receive,
something fun in the mail.
Should be by April is the timeline we're
trying to work on.
If you're in the 2 and the $5
tiers, you'll get a Loving BDSM
sticker pack.
Some of these things are they're not available
for purchase. You're only getting them because you're
part of our Patreon.
And if you're in the $10 tier, you
get the sticker pack and an enamel pin,
p I n pin.
This week, I was supposed to, like but
my plan was to finalize that artwork
and order it and show the Patreon folk
what the pin is. And this week has
not gone to plan.
So maybe later this week. By the time
this episode's out, maybe
ideally, if not, then early next week. I
already know what it's gonna be. I just
haven't done the work of it yet.
If you join our
Patreon as an annual member, which means you
pay once and then you have a year's
worth of access, you'll get two months free
for, signing up during our membership drive. That
means you pay for ten months of access
part of our Patreon, we have our Discord
server for as long as that will work.
It's now that it's coming out that they
might do the face ID thing. I haven't
even read about it. I've just heard about
it. I gotta go. I got thoughts.
But for right now, we're on Discord.
And you get access to a monthly behind
the scenes podcast episode where we focus on
what's going on in our relationship,
and we do we alternate every other month,
game night and movie night.
This month, February is game night. We'll play
an online
version of Cards Against Humanity. So
patreon.com/kaylalords
or the link is in the places. If
you're not already a member, we would love
to have you.
If you are in a position where you're
like, I am too fucking broke for this,
that's cool. That I get it.
Believe me. I get it.
You can if you are so inclined, you
can show your support in a lot of
ways that don't cost a penny.
If you are listening on a podcast app,
please rate and review if you have not
already.
That helps people find us. If you have
a group chat or a Discord or a
whatever whatever with other kinksters and there's some
episode that you're like, oh my god. This
was helpful. Here, feel free to share your
your favorite episodes with your kinky friends. On
YouTube, liking, commenting,
those things do help.
So, yeah, there's plenty you can do.
Doesn't require spending any money, and it does
help us out.
So that's the Patreon membership drive. The other
thing, we have a few days left in
as of the day of recording. That's Wednesday,
February 11.
We have a few days left of our
sale at the kinkery, thekinkery.com.
It's our kinky Valentine's Day sale.
You get 15%
off with the code
kinky
love 26. That's all one word. It's the
numbers two and six.
I'll put that in the places for anybody
who's like, I'm not gonna remember that string
of letters. What? It's in the places.
15% off your entire purchase.
We
did restock and we have almost everything left.
Last livestream, we talked about a brand new
toy that is my favorite. It's called the
Thumper. We have already sold out. And I've
already had people going, when will these be
back in stock? And I'm like, I don't
know.
They will be. I know. I did promise
that. I'm like, they'll come back. I just
all know. They absolutely will be. But on
our website, if you were like, I wanted
the fucking thumper,
there'll be a button that says email notification
thing. Email me when these are back.
That is all that that email is used
for. We don't use the the email that
you share there for marketing or anything. You
will get an email when we were your
stock. But, yeah, the kinkery dot com. The
sale runs through Saturday,
February 14, Valentine's Day,
at 11:59PM
eastern. So even podcast listeners, if you're listening
on the day this comes out, sale is
still going.
The coupon code is kinky love 26,
15% off.
Okay. Next thing on my list.
It's chatty. I get it.
And it's not announcements. It's just stuff. So,
podcast listeners
probably noticed they did not get a Monday
Q and A episode this week, week of
recording. You got a Tuesday episode.
That is because on Friday, I went, oh,
I should I should get the Monday episode
ready, and then didn't. And then Monday, I
went, oh, it's Monday. I need to do
that episode, and then
didn't. And then Tuesday, I went, oh, shit.
I'm late.
And then And then that's when JB went,
oh, shit. I haven't edited that episode yet.
At the same time, YouTube folk, you're like,
what Monday episode right? Because we recorded the
video,
which uses a different audio, blah, blah, blah,
than the podcast. That was recorded in total
silence.
It was not working. Oops. Our bad.
I do not have it in me to
try to do the matchup between the video
and the audio.
I was like so I put a poll
out on YouTube. Oh, thank you, Ella, for
putting your butthole in my face.
I put a poll up on YouTube of,
okay. Would you just like the link to
the podcast episode on our website or do
you want me to make a air quote
video that's not really a video because it'd
just be a picture probably of us looking
at each other like we're crazy and then
it's the audio playing?
Overwhelmingly so far the poll has said, please
just do that. So that's coming
and that works because next Monday, there's not
gonna be an episode.
The reason this is a chatty bonus section
esque episode is because that's
all I have the mental energy for. And
there are reasons. It's not just me like
being, I just didn't feel like it. No.
There's stuff going on.
So, yeah, there won't be a q and
a episode next week. YouTube folks, you will
get your we're gonna call it a video,
but it's it's not a real video,
that you should have gotten this week. You'll
probably
so
two things I want to bring to everybody's
attention that we talked about a couple of
weeks ago already. I just don't want it
to get forgotten. First of all,
I've watched several videos this week out of
Minnesota where they're like, yeah.
You don't see the same kind of videos
from us anymore, but that doesn't mean the
problems with ICE have stopped. Mhmm. It's just
a little bit lower
key. So I just wanna remind anybody who's
like, I really wish I could help with
that. I don't know what to do. I
wouldn't know where to start. Standwithminnesota.com
is still a really good resource where there's
all kinds of opportunities to help.
Do the thing thing that I have learned
from watching
people online talk
about activism and getting involved is do not
try to do it all. Just pick a
thing, you know?
Don't spread yourself too thin. Anything you do
that you've never done before is more
than they've had before. So
find a thing that's, you know, helping people
pets, you know, need help now that their
their people have been, you know, detained or
helping people pay their rent because they can't
go to work or whatever your thing is
where you feel compelled, if that is where
you'd like to to put time, energy, and
money,
just pick one. Cool.
The other thing
is,
if you are a Floridian
and you care about,
LGBTQ
plus
issues, communities, laws, legislation, all the shit that
is happening in Florida, I'm
beseeching you
to follow,
or check out Equality Florida.
I'm getting
emails and,
social media posts
left, right, and center about the anti
LGBTQ
plus community Yeah. Legislation coming through the Florida
legislature.
They'll have petitions for you. They'll have things
you can actually do.
If you don't have time but you got
$10, that will help them do their job.
If you are not in Florida,
I said this in when we talked about
a couple weeks ago. I'm just saying it
again.
Go search your state name and the word
equality and find your organization in your state
and see what's going on in your state.
Ideally, you live in a place where not
a lot's going on, but if you
if you live in a red state, I
promise you something's going on, and it's just
not making news most of the time.
Again, if you have the time to do
petitions or to call or this or that,
great. If you don't have time but you
got cash, $10 goes a long way.
But, yeah, it's
Florida is just heating up with how shitty
can we make life Yep.
Yep. Certain people in our state. And For
everybody, really, with this session. It does all
turn into everybody. Everybody ends up being affected,
but
whatever.
So I just wanted to put that back
out there,
for anybody who may be interested.
If you missed that episode from a couple
weeks ago, because I'm like,
it was not there was no title to
indicate what the hell we were talking about.
Feel free. Go back to listen to that
one if you'd like.
So that's just the stuff I wanted to
make sure,
I said before we get into whatever.
Also,
I'll tell you a lie. I I know
I know I'm giving off different energy than
usual.
Because if I can feel it, I know
you can feel it.
I am drinking from my emotional support diet
Coke. It's the race track large. And because
I go to race track so often, I
am,
I've
got rewards.
I'm in a tier
four, I think. I get a fifth I
get four free fountain sodas a month.
And I get 500 more points.
I get a free drink every time I
go in.
I don't think I should be allowed to
have that much power. No. No.
I just be at restrapped every day.
Take your keys away from you.
Whatever works.
No. So,
without going into too much detail,
we have a family member who we went
to visit in the hospital this past weekend.
They'd taken a bad fall,
broken stuff, blah blah blah. But they are
I always call them medically fragile. They have
a lot going on in their life.
And they had surgery on Monday and things
did not go well. And next thing I
know, they're in the ICU, and another family
member's like, oh my gosh. This is bad.
My mom's like, I'm getting in the car.
I'm coming.
We've been monitoring.
I'm getting updates a few times a day.
It's already sort of stressful to, like, know
that you've got this family member that's like
that you literally we literally just saw on
Sunday. And she they weren't doing
amazing that day, but we had two hours
of conversation.
It was like old times. But they're also
somebody that I am emotionally conflicted about for
reasons.
And so I've
it's like, okay. I will worry about this
family member. I will worry for my mom
who I know is freaking out. And also,
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel
because everything is weird now. And so I
just
I've just been living with my phone in
my hand, waiting for updates,
trying to, like,
trying not to focus on that too much.
There's nothing I can do. I'm not gonna
go be an extra body,
up in the ICU. That's
never been my vibe anyway.
And then I have my own stuff
to,
face with, you know, feelings and familial relationships
that are strained and, you know, all the
fun stuff. All the fun stuff.
So, yeah, that's my vibe is off
for that. My ability to focus the way
I'd like to focus on a topic, it
just ain't here.
Yes. We are aware we could have taken
this week off, and y'all are fully supportive
and would have understood.
If I
had to just sit and stare at the
wall
today, I think I would be worse of
a basket case.
It sounds like,
things are not they're not out of the
woods yet, but things are better. So we're
gonna go see the oldest in concert tonight.
We we wouldn't even commit to that until
I got the last update from my mom
today. And I was like, okay.
I do not anticipate being called in to,
like, you've got twenty minutes, get your ass
here kinda call.
So that that feels better.
So, yeah, we're just it's just very low
energy,
lots of emotions.
And so
so,
that's why it's low key and that's why
I'm probably
off.
If it's your first time
ever, like, encountering us,
it's not usually like this.
I'm usually talking so fast. I can't keep
up with my own thoughts.
There's usually a topic.
So Silent in the live chat's like so
YouTube keeps changing shit. Yeah. And so our
moderators,
Tay hi, Tayshu, and Silent,
used to have, like, a little wrench by
their name. And now the wrench is gone,
and it looks like a shield. Am I
seeing that correctly? It looks like a shield.
Or a badge?
So,
yeah. It's funny to every time I open
YouTube, something is a little different. And I'm
like, you know, y'all could've sent an email.
All the emails you send me about shit
I don't care about
changing how things look,
Just just tell me some of us don't
handle change very well.
So
I think a couple of questions have come
through live chat, but I have to go
search them. Let me remind y'all if, for
anybody joining us watching the YouTube live stream,
if you need to ask a question, please
tag us at loving BDSM,
and please make sure your question can fit
into the character limit of a single message
in live chat.
Oh, also, I remembered to click the button.
Our fundraiser for the campaign for Southern Equality
is still going on. We hit our goal
last week. Thank y'all, to everybody who's already
donated. I just wanna see how much we
can do.
And
and
for the Kinkery,
we are donating
5% of all the sales that are made
during our sale, all the orders that are
placed during our sale. 5% will go to
the campaign for,
Southern Equality. That is an organization that helps
the LGBTQ
plus community in the South, in Southern states
where rights,
and access are being stripped away near daily,
helps them get the resources they need, provides
direction, provides advice,
provides grants.
Our family has been the recipient of one
of their grants.
And so,
I just wanna try and give back as
best we can. So,
if you're currently watching on YouTube or podcast
listeners, you were so inclined to come over
to YouTube,
you can donate directly through the fundraiser. That
money goes straight to them. It's not coming
through us. YouTube takes care of it. Mhmm.
And YouTube does not charge fees for that.
If you want to get something for your
donation, you can shop at the kinkerythekinkery.com
through Valentine's Day,
and 5%,
of your order will
go to them. Okay.
I
am gonna scroll through live chat if you
would like to chitchat
while I scroll. Me chitchat? What universe are
you from? You chitchat.
Just not when anybody's paying attention.
Only when it's just me and I'm like,
you see I'm watching a video. I'll pause
and he chitchats. And then he walks away.
He stops talking. I turn my video on.
And then he turns and he goes, oh,
and so I turn my video off, and
he chitchats. And then he stops, and he
turns away and walks away. And I start
my I'm respectful.
I'll pause the video for you.
But you don't get it all out at
once. And then by the fourth time, he
realizes what's happening. And so he then just
keeps doing it because
I there's all of these allegations of me
being a brat, but let me tell you,
the biggest fucking brat around here is named
John Brownstone. I don't know what you're talking
about.
I don't know what you mean. So I'm
gonna scroll through and see if
okay.
Chit chat, man. Chit chat. What? She said
some mischief.
Yeah. I I have to admit
with the,
the Monday video with the no
audio, that was kind of on me.
I was so excited having this new computer
set up. I didn't go through all the
settings
on everything to make sure it was set
right.
It's just nice to have a computer that
works.
Thank you, Silent. Silent's such a good moderator.
Mhmm.
Jack asked, what's the line between angry topping
and topping when you're angry for stress relief?
That's a you question,
my friend. Mhmm.
I I think there I I think what
at at least the way I'm seeing the
question, and
there is a difference
between
being
angry Mhmm.
And taking said anger out on somebody. Sure.
K. So, you know, that that that's two
different things.
You know, I
she forced me. She twisted my arm.
No. She didn't.
After my sister passed away,
she suggested we go to the club and
do a scene.
Mhmm.
And we did. To relieve stress. That was
that was what I was thinking about. Yep.
You know, I was, running the gamut of
a whole lot of emotions at that time.
And,
we went,
we played,
had a
had a good time. But also,
no, I got to a point in the
scene where
I'm like, I need to stop. Mhmm. I'm
I feel like I'm too close
to where I shouldn't be and I need
to stop. Did it feel like you were
at the edge of a loss of control
or that your emotions were
No. I had a loss of control.
Yeah. I it's a fine line and I
think it's gonna be different for everybody.
I would say automatically if you are angry
at the person, you're definitely not topping them
at that point until your anger is under
control. Right. And you're at a point where
you're level headed and you can you can
do the Mhmm. I don't like what you
did, but we're okay kind of thing. Yeah.
If you are angry in general
and I would communicate that with a partner
because they might not feel comfortable and they
should be able to consent to that or
not. You're like, I've had a rough day.
I'm angry at the situation.
I'd like to just do some stress relief.
That's
for full
informed consent for a partner, I would I
would put that out there for them, give
them the option to say, yeah. I'm not
down for this. Catch me on your chill
again. Right?
But you have to know yourself and you
have to be brutally honest with yourself.
And that's really hard for a lot of
people to do. You have to be able
to go,
okay, I know how I can get when
I'm angry, or I know that it's hard
for me to
stop myself at a at some point because
of like,
you you gotta be really real with yourself.
Like,
but the the desire to relieve the stress,
to try to to help
yourself
feel better, I think that's fine. I think
it also,
it's important that you're emotionally regulated. To recognize
that you are angry and to be able
to rationally
think about I am angry and here's why
and whatever,
That's a different
I don't know. I can't think of the
word I want. That's different than raging. That's
different than your thoughts are literally racing, your
body's basically vibrating, and you're like, who can
I hit right now?
Uh-uh. I'm not recommending
any level of play with
that. But if you're able to be
calm in your own mind and body with
your anger,
You know? Probably, maybe.
I I think it's fine to on the
side of caution until
you know yourself
in play as a top or whatever,
even better. You know?
But, yeah, talk let your partner know what
the hell you're trying to do so that
they can fully consent and they understand what's
going on.
Because what if you do get carried away
and they're like, wow. Maybe we're just going
extra hard. Well, if they know and they
rec they know what is happening Right. You
know, they might say forward earlier than they
would have otherwise. I mean, that that definitely
falls under risk
risk risk aware consensual kink. For for my
fellow anxious people, I think it's completely valid
if you're like, never. I'm not doing that
with anybody. I think that's fine. There was
a time I probably wouldn't have done it
with JB
because of my own anxieties and concerns and
my personal risk assessment and what I am
okay with and not. And then there came
a point where I was like,
this man on his worst day still has
enough self control. We're good. Because what how
what's
still has enough self control. We're good. Because
what how what goes on with him, with
JB, is that
he knows himself well enough to go, I'm
not in a state of mind to to
play at all. Mhmm. I might be speaking
calmly to you and I might be able
to stay emotionally regulated right now, but
nope. Don't put an implement in my hand
and let me swing. Inside is mister toad's
wild ride. Exactly.
And, you know, that is an understanding of
self,
that you need to have. And if you
don't know that you have it yet,
that that's a place to start
focusing your own
self education on,
and just to avoid the risk altogether
possibly.
But
so,
Lexi has a question. Thank you, Lexi. What
is your advice for a sub who wants
to support their dom when they're going through
a rough time?
My d is going through a lot and
I wanna support him, but he has a
hard time accepting help. Oh, I think that's
probably a dom thing
regardless of any identity,
gender, anything.
I think all y'all struggle with that.
I've
to some extent.
So here's the thing. It's the most cliche
thing of all you can lead a horse
to water, but you can't make a drink.
All you can do is offer. First of
all, that's all you can do is offer.
If they will not accept the help you're
offering, the support you're offering,
you gotta you gotta let them not accept
it. Now
depending on the nature of your power exchange
and do y'all live together, do y'all spend
a lot of time together, do you see
each other frequently,
what kind kind of things do you do
as a sub? What I do for JB
is I amp up the service. I look
around at his life and go, what would
he let me do without me asking? Because
that's the thing, I'm gonna take away a
barrier of if I have to if he's
going through it and I'm constantly coming to
him going, can I do this? Can I
do that? I've just added a stressor. But
if we have the connection we have, I
can look at his life and go, oh,
I'll put that laundry up today. Oh, I'll
just run that load for him. Oh, I'll
I'll deal with dishes. And I'll either tell
him
so he doesn't start it, or I'll just
do it when he's off doing other things.
And
but I know those things are safe for
me to just do without his permission.
And, you know, you think about who your
dom is and what,
you know, what adds to their stress levels,
what they will and will not accept from
you as their submissive,
and you kind of go from there. But
if the only thing you can do is
offer your support and remind them that you're
there for them and they're still not
giving in to that,
you can't control that.
I like to think of myself
as a soft place for JB to land.
So
sometimes I can't help but bring stressful things
to him because that's the nature of life.
Right? We gotta have the hard conversation
about something.
The other day, I needed to tell him
something that I knew he wasn't gonna like.
And I basically said, I'm not having this
conversation with you while you are still sober.
I'm gonna need you
to just light it up.
But it's you know, I I get that
that desire to do what you can to
help. When you care about somebody, regardless of
role, you you don't want them to be
suffering. You don't want them to be going
through it. You want to help.
But depending on the type of person they
are, sometimes there's only so much you can
do.
What do you
find helps you or that I do that
works for you? Well, you know because you
are a
stubborn
human being.
I get it from Lola.
Whatever.
You know, I know. I am stubborn about
accepting help.
Okay? That,
and,
you know, when you started talking about how,
you know, when I'm off doing something you
you'll go ahead and do the thing.
And, you know, more times than not I'm
like,
okay. Thank you for doing that.
Yeah. You're gracious in it. Yeah. There have
been a couple of times I've gone, I'm
just gonna handle that for you. And you
just go, oh, thank God. I didn't wanna
have to do that. True. That is true.
So Yeah.
So, you know, I I may,
grump and grouse.
Oh, so much grumping, so much
grousing. But, all in all, I just
You've learned to be more gracious though. You're
still really bad at asking.
You will not ask for help when you
are
And see when you're For me, that is
something that come came from
the fact that
many times I was not getting help even
if I wanted it. Sure.
Yeah. And I have that problem myself. If
I need help, I'm not real quick to
ask for it.
I just you you and I both will
try to white knuckle through whatever. Yeah. But
there's, you know, there's different vibes when it's
just you have a lot going on and
you're a little overwhelmed Mhmm. Versus there's bad
shit going on and you are
you having a lot going on, it's easy.
I just go, I'll pick up this slack.
I'll do this. Whatever.
When it's an emotional thing
and,
there's no real fixing it, there's nothing
time will be the only thing. Right?
Or decisions other people make that none of
us have any control over will be the
only thing that
help. Then it's just more,
you know, I tend to lean
more into
probably my nicer submissive side.
You know, I'm I'm probably more deferential,
because I've learned about you.
What will really fuck you up is when
you feel out of control.
Yeah. And I'm like, okay. What can I
do to give some control back? Like,
without stressing you out. And so every situation
is a little bit different, but I do.
I look for ways that I can help
that don't add to his mental load. Mhmm.
But it that has to work within our
dynamic. Right? Yeah. I have a lot of
autonomy in our dynamic, so I can do
those kinds of things.
And then
I am still sassy and snarky, but I
have gotten better at picking my moments.
That you have. Sometimes I I used to
think it was a good moment and it
was not a good moment. Because what I'm
trying to do when I'm being sassy like
that is get him to laugh, get him
to have a lighter moment. Right? And then
the other thing that I've learned to do
is to offer up things we can do
that I know he enjoys. It's like, hey.
When was the last time you played Terraria?
Or hey, do you wanna watch that show
together? Or whatever the things I know that
we enjoy he enjoys doing or we enjoy
doing together that don't require effort, that can
take his mind off of whatever for even
a small amount of time, that he may
find pleasure in. I will offer those things
up as sort of a reminder
of, hey. There are things, you know, that
aren't all bad and maybe let's go look
at look at that for a minute. You
know? But it's trial and error. I mean,
god.
Been together
almost thirteen years. Yeah.
Lived together
a lot
almost twelve.
What's time? Does time even have a meaning
in it? It's all over a fucking decade,
and so
this has been a slow process. Used to
be I tried to fix things. We have
a whole episode on being a fixer or
whatever. Yep. And that got me into trouble
because that was too
bossy.
I don't fix things with a submissive air.
Okay?
I was in church, got a bitch, and
I'll get shit done.
So Like a bulldozer.
Oh, yeah. Get the fuck out of my
way. I got shit today.
So
yeah.
So I know. Lexi Bunn follows up with,
in my case, we don't live together, so
I'm very limited in things. And he's stubborn
too. I think they all are. He keeps
saying he just wants me to be there.
You know, I think we discount
what that can mean for somebody. Mhmm. Just
knowing that a person that cares about you
and you care about is will listen if
you happen to have something to say, is
there to just be
that person that you're like, I really I
really care about this person. I'm so glad
they're, like, sitting by my side or they're
on the phone with me or they're whatever.
Right? I I think
too many of us,
all roles, all people,
really wanna try and make something better. And
we discount the fact that sometimes our presence
really is enough.
Because, you know, JB does not do well
when he's on his own and miserable.
So
I've got Ella in my home. I see
that. She's
if she's just been a,
a,
I don't want to put it
she's just been around
today and
looking for
pets and comfort, I guess. I know. And
you know, I'm gonna give it to her
because while she's being held and petted like
the baby she is, she's not pissing on
things she's not supposed to pee on. That
is true. That is very true. Oh my
God. True. True. True.
Oh my God. We have yet another room
we have to close off. Yeah. So Ella
doesn't
pee on it. Mhmm. I am so tired
of cleaning up pee y'all. I am so
tired of that.
I really don't think all of it is
her
urinary stuff. I think some of it is,
God bless her, She's a bitch from hell.
Mhmm. And if she does not like her
living conditions
She lets you know. Let you know. She
will let you know. See, what I think
she genuinely wants
is to have her litter box be filled
with cloud
and soft things only.
None of this, like,
hard or gritty or this or that litter.
No. Not for her dainty toe beans.
And I'm sorry. I can't let you just
pee on bath mats because they're soft.
Right.
Alice asks if
she'll purr into the mic again. I don't
know. Will you? I'll get you close without
pissing you off. Okay. I pissed her off
enough.
So, yeah,
this evening after
the stream is over,
the oldest Road trip.
The oldest has a brass band concert. Oh,
I saw him over the weekend because I
needed to bring him his prescription.
He gets that filled
here. Oh, not on the keyboard, ma'am. He
gets that filled here
in his hometown
instead of college town because of some weird
thing the pharmacy required. It was weird. And
it's because of the specific medication.
So it gives me an opportunity to go
see him. And,
I asked him. I was like, you got
two concerts
back to back and we are too old
to do two nights of this running back
and forth
for your concerts. I was like, which would
you prefer?
And he's like, brass band? I said, look.
I have to ask. I said, what if
you had a solo in this other one?
He was like,
I wouldn't. And even then, I still wouldn't
care. Go to brass band. I was like,
okay. I'll go to brass band, which is
my preferred. It's a smaller audience.
It's more relaxed.
The conductor of the concert he had last
night will not allow them to open the
doors until
a very specific time, like ten after seven
or something. So if you get there early
trying to avoid the crowd, you are just
waiting there.
The conductor of the concert for tonight is
so laid back. She's like, you can come
on in while we're warming up and rehearsing.
We don't care. I'm just like, I just
wanna get a seat in the exact section
I like with minimal amount of strange people
around me. I I mean, did we have
to wait till this child's was it just
this school year? It's junior year we got
this right? The way the auditorium is, there's
the middle of the auditorium, really long rows,
people around you for fucking days. And then
on the side of the auditorium, there's rows
of four, and we are three.
And it's only in the
most packed concerts, which only happens once a
year, that somebody sits in that fourth scene.
Every other concert is just the three of
us just chilling in our little row. No
stranger sitting next to us.
Oh my gosh.
So
Excuse me.
Nikkita asked,
are there such things as trial dynamics?
And when do you recommend trying that out?
You know, I I haven't
thought of that in a long time, but,
you know, kind of there is in a
sense.
Used to be talked about a lot
back in the day when I first came
into the
community
where someone would be what they called under
consideration.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I remember that.
K. You know, they'd be under consideration
to be your sub. They'd be under consideration
for collaring. Yeah. And it was all my
experience of seeing it, it was always under
the Dom's consideration.
Yes. I would sometimes
hear people talk about it in,
a way that I've appreciated,
which was we are under each other's consideration,
but the dom is kind of technically in
charge. Sort of, they would go through
kind of this trial with one other. And
then after a certain amount of time, whatever
time they had prenegotiated, they'd sit down and
go, how do we both feel about this?
But there yes. There was always a certain
layer, a certain class of doms.
It was the
they, you know, they have to prove themselves
to me for me to be their dom,
which that is true, but there was never
the and I have to prove myself. But
works both ways, really. Yeah. Right. So Yeah.
And,
should you I mean,
if you want to, if that Yeah. You
know? And I get my thing is always
whenever you choose to do anything, in this
case, a trial dynamic, is to make sure
you understand
why and what purpose it serves. Mhmm. Is
it a trial dynamic to see if this
specific type of dynamic
works for you?
Or is it this specific partner or the
fact that, okay. I'm with this partner.
We're gonna experiment with power exchange.
You know? That's cool.
Is it
the under consideration
kind of vibe?
You know,
for me, I know my personality. I know
how I am with relationships. That that's not
something that would ever work for me under
probably any circumstance other than I'm already in
this relationship and we wanna experience
experiment with different ways of doing a dynamic,
yeah, I could do that.
If it's what you need to help you
feel
secure in whatever decision you're making about a
partner, the dynamic you wanna be in with
in in general and or with a specific
partner, I don't think there's anything wrong with
that. I think it needs to be negotiated
like anything else. How long? What are the
parameters? Mhmm. What will both partners do? How
will they behave? What is this that you're
trying to accomplish?
You know.
But if that offers some comfort
and helps you feel like you're
able to make a decision
for yourself,
I would say go for it.
Mhmm. I I mean, it's a it it
you know, doing something like that, it's a
personal Mhmm. Decision. There's, you know again, there's
no manual that says,
you know, this is how it's done. Mhmm.
You do it however works for you. Mhmm.
And,
you know, yeah. That's, you know, yeah.
Mhmm. Mhmm.
So
what else is going on with you? What
else is going on with me? Feel free
for anybody watching if you wanna do a
question.
Well,
my my days have been kind of broken
up this week.
Mhmm.
Mhmm. And,
I have been,
you know, I I I think anytime you
have
anything you do really, you know, whether it's
a wood shop or or any kind of,
it's like an ongoing
thing.
I I just
worked on
tweaking the dust collection
in the tiny shop.
And,
then today where I was working on this
was an unexpected.
The big dust collector
in the garage
sprung a leak.
Yeah. It's not supposed to do that. Nope.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Okay, Emma. So,
found found what I needed to get. Ordered
parts. They'll be here Saturday.
And today, I took the stupid thing all
apart,
cleaned it, and
have it all ready. So that way when
the parts show up,
hopefully just throw it on and,
can start milling wood again.
Yeah. We need to. Yeah. Yeah. We need
to. Yes. We do. The only reason we
could restock paddles is we had milled the
wood before Christmas. Right.
We have a question. Okay. Enchanted wings. Hi,
enchanted wings.
Any tips for being in class with an
ex partner who still wants most of the
physical affection we had in our past relationship?
Well, I guess it depends on what you
want. Right. If you don't want any of
that,
you're gonna have to communicate very firm boundaries,
and then
report to whoever is kind of the authority
in that Mhmm. Place if they
violate those boundaries.
If you want it Yeah. Then I still
think there's probably needs to be a conversation
to sort of negotiate what that looks like.
Yeah.
But if you express that you what you
do or don't want and they do not
abide by it,
you know, hopefully, there is somebody in that
space who can you know, the rules have
been laid out clearly. You know, I'm thinking
of a kink space. Right?
And will remove somebody if they cannot behave.
I hesitate to tell somebody to remove themself,
because I should that's not fair. You shouldn't
have to give up something because somebody else,
you know,
is shitty. But sometimes,
depending on the place and what
the people in charge are willing to do
or are not willing to do, you have
to do that. So
I think,
it just
it depends on the
the situation. If you do not want their
physical affection
Right.
Say that? Yeah. I mean, you you set
the boundaries. Mhmm. Mhmm. Those those those are
your boundaries. So whatever
that means to you in this case, it
it's up to you to set those boundaries.
Right. And hopefully, they will respect those boundaries.
Right.
And, you know, if you can coordinate it
and you don't want to be around them
and you don't want that effect from them,
you know, sit in a different location. If
you can't, again, I hate having you tell
somebody who is being bothered that they need
to change their behavior. Like, that sucks.
It should be a person doing the bothering.
If it's awkward in the sense of, this
is just weird but not unwanted necessarily, I
still
just have a conversation. And to the extent
of, like, this is weird. Right? Yeah. Maybe
maybe they agree. Maybe they get it. Maybe
they don't.
You know?
But but think about what you want and
then
and then focus on that.
Who cares if it pisses that person off
or they don't like it or that that
might be your thing to have to deal
with, but it is not your problem. I
those are their emotions and their
but I hope that there's somebody,
in that location who can handle things
if they don't respect your boundaries.
Yeah. So
And and, you know,
she kind of follows up, you know, set
some boundaries, but it's vanilla class. We know
each other from kink spaces. You know, it
doesn't matter if it's a vanilla class. Doesn't
matter if it's
a grocery store. Okay?
Still
risk those boundaries should still be respected. But
think about what you want not not the
what will
you know,
don't
don't worry about hurting feelings or disappointing somebody.
If you're okay with being around them, but
it's like that funny
awkward,
cool.
I would
to respect both y'all's privacies, I would not
talk about your connection in that space. Maybe
on a break, right, in the parking lot.
Oh my gosh. Isn't this weird that we
see there and here
and acknowledge it? I think it things get
way more awkward when everybody pretends it's not
happening.
But if it's awkward in the, oh, I'm
feeling kinda gross and weird now,
that's when, you know, calls for a little
bit more.
So
Tayshoo asks, how's the rollout for the thumper
going? Looking forward to using mine. We are
sold out.
We are sold out.
Back to the shop for me.
Yeah.
Yeah. At least that was one that doesn't
require you milling any wood. We've already got
I've got. Yes. Yeah. Yes.
I
I'm grateful that other people see what I
see in the thumper.
I hope everybody else enjoys it the way
that I enjoy it.
But, yeah, we
sold by okay. So the sale started Friday.
Mhmm.
I was still processing weekend orders yesterday on
Tuesday, which that is unusual. Normally, whatever comes
in over the weekend, I've dealt with them
on Monday, and there were too damn money,
which many, which is a great problem to
have. So I was finishing up by Tuesday.
And Tuesday,
it's when I knew they were sold out.
They could have sold out on Monday, but
I didn't see
the order come through. So
we didn't exactly
have,
like, 50 of them. You know? It's
but, yeah, they actually the thumper sold out
and sold faster
than our diabolical
sticks. Yeah.
And that that's a strange thing to experience
because usually the diabolical sticks, they're gone They're
gone. In a weekend. Mhmm.
So
for anybody who's like, oh, I bet they
don't have any more Lego diabolical sticks. Yes.
The hell we do. Feel free to go
shop. Thecancery.com.
Good. So Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Yeah.
Oh, and Shannon Wing's follows up. Funny awkward
at times. He sometimes mentions the things he's
planning for an event at break. So here's
the thing I would keep in mind.
There's nothing wrong with y'all chit chatting about
that if you are comfortable. But if you
are in mixed company and you're and
that's what's being talked about and you're concerned
somebody might overhear,
that's a boundary to set up. Hey. I'm
happy to talk about this with you, but
I don't wanna talk about it in here.
Let's talk about it when it like, there's
nobody else around.
So just, you know
but it is it I still remember the
first time I saw a kink friend in
the parking lot of the grocery store, and
I lost all chill. Like, I completely forgot
that until
you both acknowledge one another,
if one of you
pretends they don't see you, then that is
the rule of, oh, I don't we're not
having this conversation.
I'm living my own life and Right. I'm
not mixing human illnesses. There are people who
outside of
their kink life,
they do not want to be
approached.
Mhmm. Yeah. Almost forgot myself. I was so
excited to see because she's somebody I genuinely
like. I was so excited to see her.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was way better at
the
pretending
we don't exist thing,
so it's fine.
So
yeah.
Oh, Lola went to the eye doctor on
Monday. Yes.
She does not need her antibiotic anymore. Nope.
We are on
lookout watch for if her eye gets all
weird again. Mhmm. But,
as long as everything stays stable.
Right. We can,
we can wait for, like, three and six
month follow ups. And, apparently, JB got an
a plus in doing what the vet tells
you to do
because the vet was like, look. I'm setting
this follow-up for three months. But if she
is completely good in three months, I trust
you to do what you're supposed to do.
You can call and ask for a six
month follow-up instead of a three month follow-up
so you don't have to bring her in
here for nothing. And I was like, JB
got the gold star from the vet. Right.
You you won
at the vet.
I guess I did. I didn't even think
about it.
I mean, you
know, I did what I had to do
for the girl. Mhmm. I
know.
Mhmm. And I, you know, I would I
know I would do what needed to be
done, but you are way more consistent and
focused than I am.
So I'm glad it's you. Well,
I I had to
create
a whole
thing around it
Yeah. You did. To remember. Yeah. You did.
Because, like, what I had to do at
breakfast
noon and then dinner,
she'd get two drops. Mhmm. And they had
to be timed twenty minutes apart.
Mhmm.
Yep.
So I had to do all that and,
yeah.
But I did it and her eye got
better. And her eye got better. Yep.
Knox says in live chat, I'm so infrequently
in vanilla spaces that I accidentally introduced myself
as my scene name in a coffee shop
the other day. I will have you know,
I live my life more as Kayla Lords
than I do Mhmm. Insert legal name here.
I I have to, like,
consciously remind myself,
this is not a Kayla Lords space.
Say your legal name. Mhmm.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
So for anybody who's ever like, what are
the Friday night livestreams like? This, but more,
higher energy and more chaotic, but this. Also,
on Friday nights, we do tend to talk
more about food
Mhmm. Movies and TV shows. Mhmm.
Bacon.
There's only one correct type of bacon.
I watched a reel yesterday,
followed, but I do not follow
quickly. I'm very selective in my following on
social media. But he I guess he's a
chef, and,
he and his partner and somebody else that
was there,
went to this diner. And the whole thing
was they were like, okay. Do you have
regulars here? And the server's like, yeah. We
do. Okay. I want the meal that you're
happiest, most cheerful.
Y'all love to see this regular coming. What
is their normal order? And they went, okay.
Blah blah blah. And then he went, and
I want also, who's your grumpiest? Who's your,
like, just
they're not they're not mean. They're not bad,
but they're they're not cheerful. They're your grumpiest.
I feel like I would come under I
would be classified as a grumpy one. I
want their order too. I wanna see the
difference.
The grumpiest one
likes his bacon
so,
crisp
that it crunches and falls apart upon touching
it. I went, I
and loves home fries and wants, like, soft
cooked eggs. I went, oh my god. I
am the grumpiest
person in the entire.
But, yeah, he said he was like, oh
my gosh. This is so crispy. And even
the chef who was doing this little real
thing went, I prefer crispy is the only
correct way because it is. And he was
like, listen to how crispy. And he takes
this bacon and gets real close-up to his
mic and he crunches. And I was like,
well, now I want some damn bacon.
So
yeah. It's funny. Apparently, the happiest person, the
one that's just, like, the lights up the
space gets a blueberry pancake
with eggs and bacon.
And I was like,
give me the potatoes. They're really crunchy bacon.
I feel like,
that fits better for me.
We used to have all kinds of really
good diners
to go to when we lived in Tampa
Bay area. Yeah. Had some really good local
ones. Mhmm. And we have a couple here,
but
it's just not the diner
experience
that first of all, it's not the diner
experience of twenty, thirty, forty years ago, which,
of course, it's not, is anything these these
days. The one that is actually really close
to us, since we've lived here, they've gone
they're,
they've been bought and sold at least once,
maybe more than that.
They're kind of inconsistent.
Some days, it's freaking amazing. And I'm like,
this is the best thing I've ever had.
And some days, I'm like, is this
sausage gravy or is this paper mache paste?
What are we eating here? And what did
you do to the biscuit?
See, like,
to me,
the diner experience I I recognize it will
never be as cheap as it used to
be, which is very sad because nothing will
be as cheap as it used to be.
But, like, if I'm going to a diner,
a greasy diner,
those better be some of the best biscuits
I've ever had in my fucking life. Right?
Like, that's just
I mean, to to me, the closest place
I think is the one that's,
fairly close here. Right. Right. The one I
was just saying. Mhmm. But they're inconsistent.
I did sausage gravy, and that was the
grossest sausage gravy I've ever had and the
hardest biscuit. I think that's when I went
with my mom. You weren't there for that
one. Okay. No. But you were there for
when both of us went, is this a
biscuit?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
And in the South, I'm judging you on
your biscuits. I just am. I don't have
high expectations once like, we're north
and, I guess,
west of the Mason Dixon Line. Like, I
I get it. We cross the Mississippi.
South?
A diner?
Those
those biscuits should be so light and fluffy
they can just they're floating through the fucking
air, and I'm picking them out of the
atmosphere. Okay?
Just
what is even happening?
But then again, then you have somewhere like
Todd and Shelley's where you're never disappointed.
They are really good. I okay. So they
used to be a place we went maybe
once a year. And that's a very diner
esque,
experience, but they it's elevated. So their thing
is not really diner food. It's these hotcakes
that taste like a dessert, the specialty hotcakes.
So it used to be we went there,
like, once and then we didn't go there
for, like, two years. And then we went
it was, like, six months. It was really
rare and special to go. And so I
always got a specialty hotcake and just had
dessert for breakfast, and it was delicious. Then
we went so often
that I finally went, oh my gosh. I
think next time we come, I need to
try something else on their menu. I've literally
never had anything. Other than the I had
a BLT the first time because I was
like, man, I don't know about this hotcake
business. And then after that, I've only ever
had hot I've not had anything,
not a thing else on their menu. Well,
see, I was I was like you the
first time I was there
and I just had the, biscuits and gravy.
Mhmm.
And that was but that was just like,
boom. Yeah. So good. Now
I do wanna try their biscuits and gravy.
Mhmm. But they've had moments I've I've seen
their biscuits haven't always they're not always
top tier. And I guess it probably depends
on who you got back there. You know?
I get it. I get
it. But I will say their their hotcakes
at Todd and Shelley's are always immaculate. They're
so good. These these hotcakes, they're they're like
that big around. For podcast listeners who could
not see a screen, I would say the
diameter
across Mhmm. Is probably six to seven inches
across. And they're easily an inch. Sometimes an
inch and a half thick. Yeah. Oh, they're
so good. And they are so good. And
we get the specialty ones, so it comes
with toppings. So there's the cinnamon roll one,
which is my favorite.
It's cinnamon and butter and the frosting. Oh,
so good.
There's a brown sugar one. Yep.
There's a caramel apple one. Mhmm.
That's good. Yeah. That one's good. And, of
course, they've got blueberry and what was another
one you got? Was it raspberry swirl?
Is that pretty bad? They got, like, a
banana one.
Oh, okay. They got a cookies and cream
one. I'm like, okay. That for me, that's
that's too much. That's too much dessert from
with my breakfast.
You know, they they are. They are so
good. They but they're rich. They are so
rich. Mhmm.
But they're so good. Oh, mhmm.
Mhmm.
So that yeah. That one is a,
a good place to go. They're not close,
and they really do need to be reserved
for special drinks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. We finally they were doing an early
bird special,
and we kept saying we should go because
it it was cheap. It was like it
felt like diner cheap. Right? Mhmm. And I
was like, you know, us getting away at
07:00 in the morning for breakfast would be
so much easier than a lunch date or
even a dinner date. We should do that
at some point. And then we didn't because
that's how things go. And then JB had
was it your MRI? Yeah. I had yeah.
It was like an 7AM.
Early in the morning. Yeah. 6AM or whatever
MRI. Six. It was 6AM. Yeah. So it
finishes up and we're like, oh my god.
We're so hungry.
And we're like, what do we wanna eat?
And one of us was like, Todd and
Jellies is, like, a block away Yep. From
where he the Yep. The testing place was.
Yep. And we walk in in time for
their early bird special, a 100% order their
from their early bird to find out it
was the last day. Last day they were
doing it. They were doing it because it
had not been a success. They were not
pulling in people. People. Yeah.
Shelley of Todd and Shelley's was like, sometimes
my first customer is not till 09:30. I
am not doing this anymore. And I'm like,
no, ma'am. You shouldn't.
So
but
yeah.
But good diner food. See, when I was
a kid, my dad's thing when we would
travel anywhere if we had to go on
the interstate, which was very rare, we did
not travel like that very often, was truck
stops. Because that was back then, that was
cheap and the plates were massive and the
portions were massive because they had to feed
trucks. Damn good. Oh my god. It was
all cooked, I'm sure, in lard.
It was so good. It was so good.
Yep.
I haven't
even when I've tried to find places to
start, I have not had anything like that
since
the nineties was the last time I had
a true like, truck stop
meal experience.
And yeah.
Yeah. I I don't know if it still
exists.
The last time
I was up in New York,
in town where I went to school,
place called Millbrook Diner. Mhmm.
And it was actually
one of those I like a like a
trailer, you know, the silver.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like the old timey
diner. Like diner diner. Yes. That's where Oh,
okay. And the last time
I was up there and no. It wasn't
last last year. It was time before that.
There was actually up there for a a
fun trip.
It still existed. Oh, wow. Still existed.
And
the
I went in there,
and the one thing that changed,
this diner always, you know, had the you
you you slide into the booth and there's
the little jukebox machine there. Oh, wow. Yeah.
Okay? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and you put
your quarter in and you you flip through,
they still have them.
They're digital now. I was gonna say But
they still have them. It's debit card. Yeah.
Alright. Yeah. It's digital, but they are still
there. That's what the day The building itself
still looks Oh, cool. The same too. I'd
say the first time I saw a jukebox,
a full size one Mhmm. That uses, like,
debit card, I went, I am an old
lady.
What is even happening here?
Oh my god. I'm officially old.
I'm you know what? I'm good with vending
machines taken, like,
then, debit card, credit card, whatever. Mhmm.
I'm pretty sure it probably,
helps speed up the price increase because Yeah.
You know, whatever whatever.
Like, I'm I'm cool with that because a
lot of people just don't carry cash. And
it's fine for anything to to be electronic
like that and digital like that, but it's
just the the jukebox experience. Yeah. I'm an
old lady.
I'm officially an old lady.
It's silent for me that it it does
still exist.
Okay. Cool. Cool.
Maybe one day you'll get me that far
north. Yeah. Hasn't happened yet. Furthest north I've
ever been is Baltimore, Maryland. And it snowed
on me that day.
It's only there for a little bit.
And when I say snow, I mean, like,
it touched me and it melted immediately, but
still.
I did I stand in front of this,
hotel we were supposed to be walking into
and stand and look up and let the
little speckles of snow hit my face straight
in because
I never I never had that experience.
Now there was a place we thought might
become like our diner. Because see, when we
lived in the Bay Area, we had a
few restaurants diner like restaurants we like to
go to, but we had a diner. We
just that's where we went.
We were trying to find that here where
we live now, and there was a place
that it could have been. It was it
was good food.
We went and we had a good, good
breakfast there one day. And we went a
second time. We're like, okay. This is good.
And then, like, the next time we wanted
to go, they'd been shut down, I believe,
by the health department. Mhmm. And then we
were talking to family who's lived here for,
like, forever, and they're like, oh, yeah. That
place gets shut down by the health department
all the time. And I'm like, what have
I walked into? Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It took
me a minute to think that the place
yeah. We drove up and everything was shut
down one day. Yeah. I was just shuttered.
I was like because we drove up going,
oh, wow. Is there not gonna be a
wait this time? Right.
Close. Yeah. I know. Yeah.
I
know. Yeah.
Yeah. I used to used to hang out
at that at that place after,
used to stay after school
for,
after school programs.
So you weren't really doing after school programs?
No. You were just telling your parents so
they would leave you the hell alone. You
could do what you wanted for a few
hours till you had to go home. Right.
So Well, I I didn't learn that trick
till I was 17. Because I'm a dumbass.
So, you know,
stay and, then go downtown, hang up either
at the general store or
the diner, and then go back to school
in time to catch the bus. See, that's
because you were a hooligan.
I don't know. You were doing all kinds
of shit you should've been doing at
too young of an age.
See, I was a goody two shoes who
was like, oh, I'm staying after school because
I have, like, five club meetings that I
have to go to plus something to practice
and there's something else and blah blah blah.
I've truly, I was in my senior year
of high school
before I finally got the opportunity and had
the
intelligence to go, oh, yeah. I gotta I'm
working an extra shift tonight at my job,
or I'm working a double, which is overnight.
I'll see you in the morning.
I was out running those fucking roads.
Zion goes, oh, wow. So the place is
ancient. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy went there when
he was a kid.
You know, Tayeshe, the health departments just don't
have any, like, vision. Tayeshe says my favorite
Thai food place was closed by the health
district. It turned out the cooks were traditional
grandmas dressing in,
robes and nightgowns with flip flops rollers and
nightgowns with flip flops. Oh, wow. I bet
that was the best fucking food thing. Right?
Like, sure.
It was not, like, maybe to the health
department standard, but I bet that I bet
it was immaculately good. Look at the known
as we got at the bakery by us
here. Oh my god. Oh, god. Walk so
it the Italian bakery, we love it. It's
very good. I still wanna try one of
their cakes at some point because they they
bake cakes and decorate them or whatever.
You do not go in there for a
quick, I'm just gonna get a loaf of
fresh baked bread and leave. You are there
for a while. Sometimes it's because there's a
line and sometimes it's because
their expertise
is in cooking the food and telling their
kids and grandkids who have been forced to
work there to shut the hell up and
get back to work.
Efficiency
and customer
service? No. No. No. No. But that's not
why any of us are there anyway.
No. I've I've watched them before go back
and forth and back and forth and get
and I feel I have a lot of
empathy,
forget what they were doing in the middle,
and I just I'm just like, oh gosh.
Yeah. But you know what? The food's so
fucking good. None of us are complaining. No.
It is delicious. And
it's a it's a working bakery, so it
is always hot as shit when you walk
in there.
When I was at, like, all of the
hot flashes all of the time, I almost,
like, I got nauseous in there one time
because it was just warm in general. It
was summertime in Florida, and then I lit
up from within and was like, I'm going
to die in this Yeah. Bakery.
And we still stood there and waited for
our brand. And it's not pretty.
No. God. No. It's not pretty. It's it's
not this, you know, pretty dressed up fancy
place.
It's It's not. It it's been around a
hot minute. I bet it I bet it
was beautiful for the time when it was
new. Yeah. Because you can see where they
painted murals on the walls of different parts
of Italy and whatever. Mhmm. Mhmm.
But yeah.
I mean, it's some good fucking food though.
Oh, man. We did learn the lesson of
we we went a couple days before Christmas
because we were doing sort of air quote
Italian kinda Christmas dinner.
And we wanted to get cannolis, and we
wanted to get bread, and blah blah blah.
Mhmm. And we did learn the lesson of
we should have called and ordered it, so
we just had to go pick it up.
Yep. So we got lucky. They had extra.
And they you know, the
we we always managed to get a loaf
of of bread from them,
but,
it's it's basically been just the regular Italian
bread. But they also do rye bread. They
do marble. We still haven't gotten any of
that.
The only way you're getting those, you have
to order it.
You have to call up and say, on
this day I want this. I want x
amount of this and that loaf and And
yeah. And I can't figure out how they're
making money because they don't it does not
feel expensive. Mhmm.
And you spend
$8?
I think it's 8, might be 10. Mhmm.
But you spend this minimum amount and you
were getting a free thing of bread. Yeah.
And it's not day old, Brady, that you'll
be fresh bread. And I'm like, you're giving
so much bread away.
One one time we,
came out of there with pizza dough. Mhmm.
Which was really good. Which was really good.
Bought several loaves of bread and they were
like, here, it's pizza dough. We bought the
cannolis and we bought, I think, something else.
And we bought a specific, like, baguette thing
we wanted. And all of that, they're like,
oh, well, you can have one or two
like, two things of bread because of this
purchase and that purchase. And I'm like, well,
I'm gonna fucking take it because this is
the best fucking bread I've ever eaten. But
I'm just in my head going, how? How?
And then It clearly looks like you're home
just ripping these baguettes apart and just ripping
into them and Everybody look Yeah. Every one
of us gets caught at some point in
the kitchen. And I say including the 16
year old Yep. Like a raccoon
just shoving bread in our faces in a
dark kitchen,
not offering to slice a piece for anybody
else. It is every person for themselves.
This bread.
That is
true.
That is true.
Yep.
So
I'm not one to usually do this, but
if you'll give me three more minutes, because
you know me, I love a number that
ends on a five Mhmm. I'll be willing
to be done. Our clock says it's 04:12.
The delay and the lag, I don't know
what time it'll be by the time you
hear me say that. But three minutes, and
then we shall
be done for the day. As far as
I know, as long as everything
stays stable in our lives, we'll be here
Friday night.
8PM
eastern. It used to be a later time.
It's an earlier time now because we are
old people. I do keep forgetting.
Like, I type it out right. And then
when I start thinking about the Friday night
livestream Mhmm.
My brain goes to We haven't done it
enough at that time yet. We've only done
it once at that time.
If anybody keeps count on calendars of, like,
wait, you would not normally do your Friday
night livestream at this point in the month,
we are traveling next weekend. Yeah.
And that'll be a very long weekend. We
have an overnight stay in Virginia. We're literally
flying in the evening of
the eighteenth,
flying home the night of the nineteenth.
Basically, we'll drop pull into our own driveway
at probably 2AM
on Saturday the twentieth or twenty first. And
then at 06:00 on the twenty second, at
least one of us needs to be
in Gainesville because the oldest is doing a
big recital thing.
And I said, I'll be there.
I don't I don't know if anybody else
will be with me, but one of us
will be there for you. Oh, that will
be a very long weekend. Yeah. It will.
So Yeah. It will.
But it it'll be good
all the way around. It it there'll be
some stress and we'll be exhausted. But
Yep. And Lola's gonna go stay at boarding
for the first time since we've had her
Mhmm.
And get the the luxury
treatment. So
Yeah.
But yeah. So we we moved everything for
this month. I did not mean to book
end Valentine's Day with with stuff
for us because in our Patreon, we have
our game night on Sunday the fifteenth.
We don't have any plans for Valentine's Day.
We don't go out on Valentine's Day. We're
not doing it to ourselves.
Never have. Never will. But we haven't had
a real date night in No. We in
a while. Yeah.
So maybe at the end of the month,
fight time, get through Valentine's weekend when I'm
not leaving this house,
and then our travel. You know, I I'm
I'm gonna make a suggestion
because we've had a certain gift card for
over a year now, and we cannot coordinate
getting everybody we want. No. So I think,
you know,
I I I think it's time. Yeah. It
it's time and, you know It's time to
actually use Yeah. Yeah. It's it was a
Christmas,
family restaurant gift card. Yeah.
Christmas twenty twenty four.
Yeah.
Okay. It is $4.15 by our clock. Okay.
So we are gonna go.
Thank you all for being here. Mhmm. Thank
you all for indulging me in,
not at all a topic. Thanks to the
folks who had questions in the live chat.
Yeah. So we appreciate y'all. Thekinkery.com.
Having a sale. Patreon.com/kaylalords.
It's gonna be part of our community.
Try to support your local, state, whatever, anti
LGBTQ plus
groups,
legislative
groups.
Your equality, Florida, your Georgia equality, your Virginia
equality, those places. Try to support support them
if you
can. Yes. And you're gonna go. Mhmm. Okay.
K. Bye. Bye.