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You're listening to loving BDSM

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podcast episode four seventy one. Kayla Lords here

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with the one, the only. I'm so glad

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you have patience with me when I drone

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on and on and on trying to record

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an episode that's supposed to be short, but

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somehow is thirty minutes. And now we're late

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for our own livestream. John Brownstone.

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Yeah.

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You know it's a topic I love. It's

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for Monday's episode for anybody who is hearing

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this,

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as it goes live.

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Yeah. So,

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if you also watch the livestream and now

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you're listening to the podcast, that's why we

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were late. Anyway, we're gonna try to get

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straight to it. This week, I'm hoping at

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least one of us will rant because it's

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time to respond to the kinky side of

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Reddit, and I did pick one of these

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one of these, situations.

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I picked it because it pissed me the

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fuck off. Yep.

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So

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we'll see.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and

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Friday for your kinky pleasure in education, and

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show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. And

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also, if you're a regular listener and you

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love what you're hearing, we would love a

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rating slash review of whatever the highest number

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star thingy is on your preferred podcast app.

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You can also follow the show on FetLife

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at loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram and technically threads at that handle

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I will forever motherfucking hate with with the

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passion of a thousand fiery sun.

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It's loving d s and the number one.

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So it's at loving d s one or

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on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm

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where you can watch us live stream the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes.

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Okay. Before

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we get into,

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the episode this week's episode,

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one announcement. There's probably others I should be

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saying. Can't remember them, so we're gonna go

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with the one I have written down.

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That is we are still in our Patreon

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membership drive for 2026.

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If you you can join for as little

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as $2 a month.

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Everybody who joins is a paid member. There's

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a free membership thing that Patreon allows that

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I didn't sign up for, and you kinda

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don't get shit with the free one. You

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gotta pay

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to get the stuff and you can join

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for as little as $2 a month. You

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get access to our Discord server. You get,

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a behind the scenes podcast episode every month.

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We are talking

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2025, we started doing this and we're continuing

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for 2026. We talk about our relationship, the

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state of our power exchange, and things we're

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doing to work on our power exchange.

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And then every other month we alternate between

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a movie night and a game night for

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February. It's a game night. We play an

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online version of Cards Against Humanity.

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So that's what we're doing this month.

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If you go for higher tier, you get

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more stuff.

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The thing with joining during our

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membership drive what are words?

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Is two things.

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One,

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everybody who is a member

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during the membership drive will get something in

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the mail after the membership drive.

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So if you're in the 2 and $5

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tiers, you will get,

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a loving BDSM sticker pack.

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It will have very specific to loving BDSM

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stickers. I've got a Lola Agrees

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sticker. I can't believe I haven't made it

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yet and offered it up before. I just

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do what daddy says sticker. I keep it

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kinky. I like

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that kind of stuff. Also, I'm gonna put

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in a proud cricket sticker so that folks

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who wanna put something out where people can

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see it,

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you're not getting clocked.

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But

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and then if you are in the $10

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tier during our membership drive, you will get,

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the sticker pack thing and an enamel pin,

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p I n pin. I'm southern. Pin, p

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e n, and pin, p I n. I

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say it the same because that's how we

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do it here.

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And so

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that's

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the main thing for joining during the membership

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drive. But if you join as an annual

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member where you pay for the year upfront,

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you get two months free if you sign

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up during a membership drive.

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The link is patreon.com/kaylalords

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because I started a Patreon before I started

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a podcast.

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And the link is in the places.

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Yeah.

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So

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what else was I gonna say?

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We appreciate all of our kinky

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patrons.

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There was a time the lights stayed on

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because of our Patreon.

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We would not probably still be doing this

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all these years later without it. No.

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So yeah. If you like what we do

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and you wanna help us do more of

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it, we'd love it if, it's in your

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budget to join Patreon.

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I am so out of it. I forgot

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to click the special button so that our,

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YouTube fundraiser shows up.

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So

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I gotta get better at that shit.

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So,

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yeah. Now we can go into

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the,

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Reddit episode.

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And what I will do when we get

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to the bonus section, hopefully somebody will help

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me remember, I'll go off camera

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to click the appropriate fucking buttons

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because it doesn't do any good to have

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a fundraiser if you don't have it out

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for folks to see.

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Over here on YouTube, we are trying to

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fundraise for Campaign for Southern Equality

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because that it's an organization that helps the

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LGBTQ

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plus community in the South, and they were

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extremely

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pivotal in helping us figure out how to

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get medical care for our youngest. So

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so so so okay. K.

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Trying to get to the first one. Here

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we go.

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Guiding my dom to be a dom is

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exhausting.

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Help.

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My boyfriend, 24 male, and I, 21 female,

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are both equally into BDSM. We're both inexperienced

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and each other's firsts.

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I love him to bits, but I've realized

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that he struggles to truly Dom without me

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guiding him. I constantly have to direct him

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in bed like what like what to do,

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how to do it, what comes next. Sometimes

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I'll explain,

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to him that I want what I want

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before a session, but in the middle, he

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still gets a bit lost and asks me

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what I want next.

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I want to tell him that this can

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be a turn off and that it's tiring

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to manage him during play, but I don't

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want to hurt him. Also, he uses the

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exact degradation lines that I've given him ideas

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about earlier. He doesn't say anything new slash

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creative from his side. So if I tell

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him prior to do some foreplay, spank me,

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call me a particular title, and have sex,

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then he'll do exactly all that in that

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very particular order and no creativity from him.

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When this happens, I feel far less submissive

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and more like the one in charge. I

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need help figuring out how to address this.

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I don't wanna hurt him either. They did

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add an edit apparently as a response to

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comments.

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No. Being a Dom doesn't work for me.

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I don't wanna be a and I don't

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wanna be a dom bottom. Like Yeah. They

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just wanna be submissive and want their boyfriend

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to be the dom. And and, you know,

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before we even got to that point, I

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kind of felt like roles were a little

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switched. Yeah.

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So that's it's kinda tough

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in one way. I mean, they haven't had

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the conversation. They need to have the tough

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conversation. Yeah. I there are ways to tell

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somebody an important and true thing without Yeah.

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Hurting their feelings, but also

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you are not responsible

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for what they how they feel about a

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thing they don't like hearing. Like, you're responsible

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for how you present the information. Sure.

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But their feelings are their own to manage,

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so

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have the damn conversation for sure. Definitely have

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to have that conversation,

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because nothing's gonna change until you do.

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Mhmm. You know? Or the possibility of change

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at least. Right. So

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When you first

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real you said, yeah. I'll do the Dom

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thing. Mhmm. And it was your first partner

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situation. I don't mean necessarily long term, but,

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like, you were doing the Dom thing with

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another human. Right. How did you

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prepare for like,

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did you how did you figure out what

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you wanted to after the conversation about what

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they wanted and the boundaries and the limits,

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but you were like,

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okay. Now I have to go make this

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thing happen.

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How did you figure out for yourself

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how to make the thing happen?

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It was just a process of

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mulling it over and and, you know,

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deciding what to do.

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The

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how long had you kind of been exploring

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kink, learning about kink?

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I know you you started with munches and

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being part of the community. How long had

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you done all of that prior to your

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first, like, scene and instance as a dog?

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I would say

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probably,

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usually a year.

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So I I say all of that for

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a purpose. Mhmm. This

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child

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has they're both inexperienced. Has this dog gone

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off to learn anything, or is he solely

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relying on what his partner tells him?

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Right? Because if she is the source of

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his education

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and the only source, then all he knows

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to do is exactly what she told him.

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He needs to go off independently

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and go, okay. What does it mean to

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be a dom? How can I be a

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dom? What are the kinks? How do I

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do the kinks?

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Because the

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more you know that information, one, you know

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more

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or less about is this who I am

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and what I want? But two,

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now we're learning how do I plan a

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scene? What is you know, what what do

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other people do for degradation play and this

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play and that play? Because

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if if he doesn't know anything beyond what

272
00:09:56,424 --> 00:09:59,065
his submissive partner is telling him, he can't

273
00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:02,445
reproduce anything but what his submissive partner reproduces.

274
00:10:02,745 --> 00:10:03,725
Yeah. Now

275
00:10:04,629 --> 00:10:06,470
is, you know, is it a I don't

276
00:10:06,470 --> 00:10:07,929
know where to go situation?

277
00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:10,789
Cool. Cool. Cool. There are resources out there.

278
00:10:10,789 --> 00:10:12,549
Right. It's not really as simple as saying

279
00:10:12,549 --> 00:10:14,230
just Google it because good lord you'll find

280
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:16,649
porn, and that's not gonna help anybody. But,

281
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:19,524
you know Or is he just not really

282
00:10:19,524 --> 00:10:21,924
into it? And there is that and that's

283
00:10:21,924 --> 00:10:24,644
really the conversate that's the conversation that needs

284
00:10:24,644 --> 00:10:26,965
to Right. Happen. This this is a partner

285
00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:28,565
needs to go, hey. You are only doing

286
00:10:28,565 --> 00:10:30,085
exactly what I tell you to do and

287
00:10:30,085 --> 00:10:30,779
I'm not feeling

288
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:32,399
submissive as a result.

289
00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,720
And then semicolon,

290
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,899
are you into this? Is this what you

291
00:10:37,899 --> 00:10:39,200
want? And and they

292
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,660
she indicates that he has said, yes. This

293
00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:43,465
is what I want. So then the next

294
00:10:43,465 --> 00:10:45,945
question is, okay. What are you doing to

295
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,504
learn about this without me? Now they can

296
00:10:48,504 --> 00:10:50,504
learn together. Of course. They could go to

297
00:10:50,504 --> 00:10:53,004
workshops or munches, do online stuff together.

298
00:10:53,544 --> 00:10:54,044
But

299
00:10:54,424 --> 00:10:57,679
is he showing enough interest to wanna go

300
00:10:57,679 --> 00:10:58,259
off and

301
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,840
do that work? Mhmm. And what if not,

302
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,920
what? Is it a lack of interest? He's

303
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,840
really not into being a dom. Is it

304
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,360
he doesn't know where to start? Is it

305
00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:09,059
he's afraid and or overwhelmed?

306
00:11:09,884 --> 00:11:11,004
You know what I mean? There's, like, all

307
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,384
kinds of reasons people

308
00:11:13,245 --> 00:11:16,365
don't do the thing they and as as

309
00:11:16,365 --> 00:11:19,804
a lifelong procrastinator, there are many reasons why

310
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:21,165
I don't do the thing I say I

311
00:11:21,165 --> 00:11:23,690
wanna do. Right? So that's another part of

312
00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:25,690
the conversation. But he's gotta take responsibility for

313
00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:28,009
that at some point to go to decide

314
00:11:28,009 --> 00:11:30,009
for himself what he wants. And if this

315
00:11:30,009 --> 00:11:31,149
is what he wants,

316
00:11:32,089 --> 00:11:33,629
you gotta educate yourself

317
00:11:33,929 --> 00:11:35,389
to find out what it means,

318
00:11:35,690 --> 00:11:37,804
what it looks like to be a dom,

319
00:11:37,804 --> 00:11:39,565
and then you can start kinda going, okay.

320
00:11:39,565 --> 00:11:41,245
Well, how do I wanna do a scene

321
00:11:41,245 --> 00:11:43,804
and incorporate this stuff? Right. And you know,

322
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,404
another thing I was thinking of because, you

323
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:46,924
know, again, this is something I went through

324
00:11:46,924 --> 00:11:50,125
in the beginning is is her boyfriend feeling

325
00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:50,945
any shame?

326
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,580
Yeah. Over any of this. Yeah. You know,

327
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,580
and that could be a big inhibitor as

328
00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:56,080
well.

329
00:11:56,539 --> 00:11:57,039
Yep.

330
00:11:57,899 --> 00:12:00,139
But again, too, that comes back to the

331
00:12:00,139 --> 00:12:02,539
tough conversation, you know. Right. We find out

332
00:12:02,539 --> 00:12:04,860
what, you know, the only way nobody's a

333
00:12:04,860 --> 00:12:06,299
mind reader. The only way you're gonna find

334
00:12:06,299 --> 00:12:07,120
out is talking.

335
00:12:07,555 --> 00:12:09,795
And and talking is not just a, hey.

336
00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:11,394
Do you still wanna do this? Yeah. And

337
00:12:11,394 --> 00:12:12,455
you're done. It's

338
00:12:12,995 --> 00:12:13,495
it's

339
00:12:14,274 --> 00:12:16,195
a explaining how you feel, explaining what you

340
00:12:16,195 --> 00:12:19,235
see, and asking more than one question. You

341
00:12:19,235 --> 00:12:19,735
know?

342
00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,014
Are you uncertain?

343
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:22,870
Do you know, does this make you feel

344
00:12:22,870 --> 00:12:24,230
weird? You know, you don't you might not

345
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:25,750
know to go, are you feeling shame? But

346
00:12:25,750 --> 00:12:27,269
you can say, does this make you feel

347
00:12:27,269 --> 00:12:29,129
weird to do this? Are you uncertain?

348
00:12:29,590 --> 00:12:31,029
Are you unsure? What what are what are

349
00:12:31,029 --> 00:12:32,649
your what are his expectations

350
00:12:33,110 --> 00:12:35,464
That's another conversation to have. Yeah. You know,

351
00:12:36,404 --> 00:12:38,485
does he know all I mean, I guess,

352
00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:40,404
like, in a way, he does know hers

353
00:12:40,404 --> 00:12:42,644
because she's she's very clear. And I'm very

354
00:12:42,644 --> 00:12:44,644
proud of her Yes. For being very clear

355
00:12:44,644 --> 00:12:45,865
about what she wants.

356
00:12:46,245 --> 00:12:47,699
Yes. That's a good start. But, yeah, you

357
00:12:47,699 --> 00:12:49,779
know, what what are his expectations in all

358
00:12:49,779 --> 00:12:51,379
this? What does he want to get out

359
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,699
of being a Dom? Right. And, I think

360
00:12:53,699 --> 00:12:55,220
it was Silent said in the the live

361
00:12:55,220 --> 00:12:57,139
chat. It's like, you know, is he really

362
00:12:57,139 --> 00:12:58,899
into it, or did he just say yes

363
00:12:58,899 --> 00:13:01,714
because he's a people pleaser? Mhmm. There are

364
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,394
plenty of partners out there that will say

365
00:13:03,394 --> 00:13:04,914
yes to whatever their partner wants to do

366
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:07,794
because they wanna make them happy. And that's

367
00:13:07,794 --> 00:13:09,576
great if we're talking about, like, certain physical

368
00:13:09,576 --> 00:13:10,274
acts, maybe. But I think many of us

369
00:13:10,274 --> 00:13:11,024
want our

370
00:13:21,889 --> 00:13:24,945
level. You know? Especially as the submissive. It's

371
00:13:24,945 --> 00:13:26,865
like my whole goal is for you to

372
00:13:26,865 --> 00:13:28,465
take charge and to do the things and

373
00:13:28,465 --> 00:13:30,065
to maybe surprise me just a little bit

374
00:13:30,065 --> 00:13:31,445
within my limits and bounds,

375
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,245
not to take stage direction.

376
00:13:35,184 --> 00:13:37,345
The other thing in the asking in the

377
00:13:37,345 --> 00:13:37,845
middle,

378
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:39,779
two things. One,

379
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,539
is that his awkward way of checking in.

380
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:44,179
Right?

381
00:13:44,799 --> 00:13:45,299
Two,

382
00:13:45,759 --> 00:13:47,700
does he frequently have memory

383
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,779
issues and or

384
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,875
focus issues? Not focus maybe at the time,

385
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:53,995
but, like, when you're trying to talk to

386
00:13:53,995 --> 00:13:55,195
him and you tell him something, does he

387
00:13:55,195 --> 00:13:57,294
forget half of it? A few minutes later,

388
00:13:58,875 --> 00:14:00,095
all the the neurodivergent

389
00:14:00,394 --> 00:14:02,654
folks in listening are going,

390
00:14:03,115 --> 00:14:05,934
does he have ADHD? Not everything is ADHD.

391
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:09,419
Sometimes an executive function issue is is separate

392
00:14:09,419 --> 00:14:11,899
to something else. There's other issues. Sometimes people

393
00:14:11,899 --> 00:14:14,379
aren't paying fucking attention because they're not paying

394
00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:17,899
attention. But that's another thing to be thinking

395
00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:20,294
about. Because if he's only doing what you

396
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:21,575
tell him to do and in the middle

397
00:14:21,575 --> 00:14:23,495
is like, oh, shit. I forgot the next

398
00:14:23,495 --> 00:14:23,995
step.

399
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:27,434
There's you know?

400
00:14:28,695 --> 00:14:30,235
There are I have no doubt.

401
00:14:31,254 --> 00:14:35,250
Doms with executive function issues and or ADHD

402
00:14:35,389 --> 00:14:37,649
and or anything that fucks with their memory

403
00:14:37,790 --> 00:14:39,790
have come up with tools and ways and

404
00:14:39,790 --> 00:14:42,610
means to keep themselves on track. Right?

405
00:14:43,629 --> 00:14:45,309
But that just if that's the case, that

406
00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,490
just shows he needs he needs the education

407
00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:49,894
part. He needs to talk to other doms

408
00:14:49,894 --> 00:14:51,815
and see what other people do and learn

409
00:14:51,815 --> 00:14:54,615
and learn and learn and learn Yep. And

410
00:14:54,615 --> 00:14:55,115
learn.

411
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,894
Mhmm. Anything else you wanna add to that

412
00:14:57,894 --> 00:14:58,394
one?

413
00:15:00,695 --> 00:15:01,195
Okay.

414
00:15:04,259 --> 00:15:06,360
Okay. Where'd my mouse go?

415
00:15:06,899 --> 00:15:08,440
Okay. Next one.

416
00:15:11,460 --> 00:15:12,820
This is not the one that pissed that

417
00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:14,179
I picked just because it pissed me off,

418
00:15:14,179 --> 00:15:15,799
but I got some questions.

419
00:15:16,179 --> 00:15:17,490
Okay. Nerves feeling

420
00:15:18,764 --> 00:15:20,225
frayed after extreme

421
00:15:20,605 --> 00:15:21,804
protocol routine. My Dom put me on a

422
00:15:21,804 --> 00:15:22,384
very strictly

423
00:15:23,565 --> 00:15:24,304
defined routine.

424
00:15:24,845 --> 00:15:27,965
One, no alcohol or drugs. Two, no junk

425
00:15:27,965 --> 00:15:30,625
food. None. Three, good sleep hygiene.

426
00:15:31,004 --> 00:15:33,779
Four, working out every single day except the

427
00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:35,079
occasional rest day as

428
00:15:35,379 --> 00:15:36,199
needed. Five,

429
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,980
six to eight hours on my feet every

430
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,220
single day. This was during a time when

431
00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:42,820
he was really busy with work and we

432
00:15:42,820 --> 00:15:44,519
weren't able to communicate much.

433
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:47,384
Anyway, I kinda went obsessive about it in

434
00:15:47,384 --> 00:15:49,465
his absence. I'd count the time on my

435
00:15:49,465 --> 00:15:51,465
feet down to the second. I stopped hanging

436
00:15:51,465 --> 00:15:53,065
out with my friends. If it interfered with

437
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:55,144
my routine, he said I'd have to do

438
00:15:55,144 --> 00:15:57,065
this. I did this for a total of

439
00:15:57,065 --> 00:15:58,764
three months. I also started

440
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:00,899
an isotretinoin

441
00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,639
treatment during the second month. It was quite

442
00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:07,200
brutal. Except when sleeping, my legs are in

443
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,820
pain for three months straight.

444
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,539
The objective was to learn resilience.

445
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,080
One month since the routine ended and I

446
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,914
only feel more fragile. My nerves are frayed.

447
00:16:16,914 --> 00:16:19,154
Any critical remarks from him, even when he's

448
00:16:19,154 --> 00:16:21,654
right, and I spiral and start crying incessantly

449
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:22,774
and start apologizing.

450
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,674
I feel like I need a break. I'm

451
00:16:24,674 --> 00:16:26,835
not feeling like myself. I don't get wet

452
00:16:26,835 --> 00:16:29,235
anymore while watching porn, not even while talking

453
00:16:29,235 --> 00:16:31,399
to him which has never happened. I don't

454
00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:33,799
remember the last time I touched myself. Every

455
00:16:33,799 --> 00:16:36,519
other emotion except anxiety and dread has flattened

456
00:16:36,519 --> 00:16:38,600
out. I didn't do anything that I didn't

457
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,160
agree to. What's happening? Why have I become

458
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:41,774
like this?

459
00:16:43,855 --> 00:16:45,455
Let us just preface this with we are

460
00:16:45,455 --> 00:16:47,154
not medical professionals or,

461
00:16:48,254 --> 00:16:50,735
psychologists, therapists, or anybody in the mental health

462
00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:51,634
field. So

463
00:16:52,254 --> 00:16:53,634
the actual why

464
00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:56,035
is all speculation and, like,

465
00:16:56,495 --> 00:16:58,710
armchair Yeah. Pop psychology on our part, but

466
00:16:58,710 --> 00:17:00,629
the other part we got opinions. I saw

467
00:17:00,629 --> 00:17:01,529
JB's face.

468
00:17:01,909 --> 00:17:04,569
We got opinions. Go ahead, Jimmy. You know,

469
00:17:04,630 --> 00:17:05,109
I

470
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,509
listening to all this is as you're reading

471
00:17:07,509 --> 00:17:08,250
through it,

472
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,950
and and the first thing that came in

473
00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:13,115
my mind is, like, okay. Maybe

474
00:17:13,654 --> 00:17:15,115
this is not for you.

475
00:17:15,654 --> 00:17:18,535
The the submission or the routine? The the

476
00:17:18,535 --> 00:17:21,595
routine that that she's under, you know.

477
00:17:22,295 --> 00:17:25,680
They, we don't know. They. And, you know,

478
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,799
that's entirely possible. I mean, let's face it,

479
00:17:28,799 --> 00:17:30,799
you know, every you can try things in

480
00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,840
lifestyle, not everything you're gonna like. Mhmm. You

481
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:34,340
know?

482
00:17:35,039 --> 00:17:38,000
So some people like high protocol, some people

483
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:38,500
don't.

484
00:17:39,144 --> 00:17:41,724
Especially if trying to do said high protocol

485
00:17:41,944 --> 00:17:43,404
sends you into an obsessive

486
00:17:44,265 --> 00:17:46,025
thing where that's all you can focus on.

487
00:17:46,025 --> 00:17:47,085
Right. Like, that's

488
00:17:48,585 --> 00:17:50,585
that's not good. I don't think that ends

489
00:17:50,585 --> 00:17:51,964
well for anybody.

490
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,809
No. But, you know, yeah. I think I'd

491
00:17:54,809 --> 00:17:56,349
have you know, they would might

492
00:17:56,650 --> 00:17:57,710
want to rethink

493
00:17:59,049 --> 00:18:00,029
some of these things.

494
00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:00,910
Yeah.

495
00:18:01,609 --> 00:18:02,890
Anything else you want to add? I don't

496
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:03,950
want to interrupt you,

497
00:18:04,410 --> 00:18:06,410
any more than I normally do. Okay. Here's

498
00:18:06,410 --> 00:18:07,150
the thing.

499
00:18:08,285 --> 00:18:10,204
So I recognize everybody has different types of

500
00:18:10,204 --> 00:18:11,964
submission, and I know that I am not

501
00:18:11,964 --> 00:18:13,664
built for high protocol because

502
00:18:14,285 --> 00:18:16,125
I would agree to do all kinds of

503
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:16,625
things

504
00:18:17,005 --> 00:18:19,404
for my dom. But I'm gonna be like,

505
00:18:19,404 --> 00:18:21,369
okay. Why am I doing this? What purpose

506
00:18:21,369 --> 00:18:23,690
does it serve? Not everybody is like that,

507
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,690
and I know there are some power exchange

508
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:28,329
where they would say that that's not appropriate.

509
00:18:28,329 --> 00:18:29,470
But if we're negotiating

510
00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:31,450
things for me to do, I get to

511
00:18:31,450 --> 00:18:32,429
ask my questions.

512
00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:35,390
And the objective was to learn resilience.

513
00:18:35,704 --> 00:18:38,285
I don't know how that teaches resilience. Yeah.

514
00:18:38,505 --> 00:18:41,065
Resilience is learned in a in a shit

515
00:18:41,065 --> 00:18:43,144
ton of ways. And, yes, it is often

516
00:18:43,144 --> 00:18:45,785
learned through doing going through something difficult and

517
00:18:45,785 --> 00:18:47,325
doing a thing that is challenging

518
00:18:47,625 --> 00:18:50,184
to you, but resilience is also learned through,

519
00:18:50,184 --> 00:18:52,460
like, life fucking with you and making you

520
00:18:52,460 --> 00:18:54,859
live through a challenging time and getting through

521
00:18:54,859 --> 00:18:55,359
it

522
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:57,259
in some way to get to the other

523
00:18:57,259 --> 00:18:58,240
side of it. So,

524
00:18:58,619 --> 00:19:01,019
you know, did she need to learn

525
00:19:01,579 --> 00:19:03,899
did they need to learn resilience? Let's start

526
00:19:03,899 --> 00:19:04,639
there. But

527
00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:06,159
was there any

528
00:19:06,595 --> 00:19:07,734
deeper explanation

529
00:19:08,434 --> 00:19:10,994
for wild? And that Mhmm. That's just at

530
00:19:10,994 --> 00:19:12,674
the beginning. That I don't think that would

531
00:19:12,674 --> 00:19:13,174
explain

532
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:15,494
all of what they're going through,

533
00:19:17,075 --> 00:19:18,694
but I do think there

534
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:20,835
other than the power trip of you do

535
00:19:20,835 --> 00:19:22,740
what I say, you know, blah blah blah.

536
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:23,880
And, yes, people

537
00:19:24,259 --> 00:19:26,019
do that, and there's fun in that. And

538
00:19:26,180 --> 00:19:26,680
yeah.

539
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:30,440
But this kind of grueling stuff and saying,

540
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,180
oh, you're probably gonna, like, miss out on

541
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:33,960
stuff with your friends to do these things.

542
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:36,194
I told you to. I'm I wanna start

543
00:19:36,194 --> 00:19:37,634
with what is the reason behind it. What

544
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:40,355
purpose does it serve? Now that's kind of,

545
00:19:40,355 --> 00:19:42,835
like, an aside because here's the thing that

546
00:19:42,835 --> 00:19:44,674
fucking stood out to me. I'm gonna have

547
00:19:44,674 --> 00:19:46,595
you do all of these really fucking hard

548
00:19:46,595 --> 00:19:49,414
things that you've probably never fucking done before,

549
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:53,380
and he's really busy with work and can't

550
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,599
communicate much.

551
00:19:56,819 --> 00:19:58,819
There is something to be said in power

552
00:19:58,819 --> 00:19:59,880
exchange for

553
00:20:00,420 --> 00:20:01,720
not needing to

554
00:20:02,414 --> 00:20:05,134
constant be in constant constant communication. Mhmm. Some

555
00:20:05,134 --> 00:20:07,075
people's lives just don't allow for it.

556
00:20:07,775 --> 00:20:09,775
It's a good thing to create routines that

557
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,455
you both can, like, are aware of that

558
00:20:11,455 --> 00:20:13,875
can help blah blah. But you are asking

559
00:20:14,335 --> 00:20:15,869
your partner to

560
00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:18,529
to do something that they've never done before,

561
00:20:18,910 --> 00:20:19,410
potentially,

562
00:20:19,950 --> 00:20:21,170
and it is grueling,

563
00:20:22,829 --> 00:20:24,670
and you're not keeping in touch with them

564
00:20:24,670 --> 00:20:26,349
to go, how are you feeling? How is

565
00:20:26,349 --> 00:20:28,430
it going? Checking in to make sure they're

566
00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:29,329
handling it.

567
00:20:29,704 --> 00:20:31,704
Were they able to tell their partner, my

568
00:20:31,704 --> 00:20:33,865
legs are in constant pain? How if they

569
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:35,325
told them, what was the reaction?

570
00:20:35,704 --> 00:20:37,224
The reaction should have been, oh, maybe we

571
00:20:37,224 --> 00:20:38,585
need to put that on pause because you're

572
00:20:38,585 --> 00:20:40,684
not actually supposed to be in constant pain.

573
00:20:40,744 --> 00:20:41,244
Right?

574
00:20:42,169 --> 00:20:43,929
The I'm I don't like to make blanket

575
00:20:43,929 --> 00:20:45,849
statements, but here's the blanket statement I have

576
00:20:45,849 --> 00:20:46,509
for this.

577
00:20:47,690 --> 00:20:50,429
I read this as this person was traumatized

578
00:20:50,730 --> 00:20:53,450
by their fucking dom. Whether their dom meant

579
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:55,289
to or not, whether they were being an

580
00:20:55,289 --> 00:20:57,150
asshole or it's just their style of dominance

581
00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:59,284
or not, they were put through a fucking

582
00:20:59,585 --> 00:21:02,544
ringer Yeah. Went through physical pain in the

583
00:21:02,544 --> 00:21:04,304
comments at six to eight hours on my

584
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,224
feet every single day. People had questions in

585
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:07,825
the comments about what does that mean? Yeah.

586
00:21:07,825 --> 00:21:10,625
They this dom literally wanted them to stand

587
00:21:10,625 --> 00:21:12,640
up, whatever they were doing, be on their

588
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,420
feet for that many hours a day.

589
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,700
Just whatever they just stand. Just stand.

590
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,140
Don't sit.

591
00:21:19,759 --> 00:21:22,579
Wow. Right. Wow. Right. So

592
00:21:23,759 --> 00:21:24,259
Wow.

593
00:21:25,474 --> 00:21:27,315
I I can bet you'd be crying. If

594
00:21:27,315 --> 00:21:29,734
you did not get feedback during this time,

595
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,615
if your partner did not check-in and then

596
00:21:33,234 --> 00:21:35,634
and or if they did, they didn't do

597
00:21:35,634 --> 00:21:37,154
anything about the fact you're saying that you're

598
00:21:37,154 --> 00:21:39,394
in pain. I hope that Mhmm. The submissive

599
00:21:39,394 --> 00:21:42,170
told them I'm in pain. If they didn't,

600
00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:44,009
that's a little bit harder. You've gotta communicate

601
00:21:44,009 --> 00:21:45,769
those things. But if they said I'm in

602
00:21:45,769 --> 00:21:48,250
pain and their dom did fuck all about

603
00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:50,269
it Yeah. To change the plan,

604
00:21:51,049 --> 00:21:51,549
like,

605
00:21:51,930 --> 00:21:53,794
yeah. I'd be crying too because did you

606
00:21:53,794 --> 00:21:56,595
get positive feedback for doing hard things? That

607
00:21:56,595 --> 00:21:58,515
is part of it. Like, you're gonna do

608
00:21:58,515 --> 00:22:00,674
a hard thing because your dom asked you

609
00:22:00,674 --> 00:22:02,914
to, you agreed to it. You gotta hear

610
00:22:02,914 --> 00:22:05,714
from that dom that the doing of the

611
00:22:05,714 --> 00:22:07,150
hard thing is worth it and to make

612
00:22:07,150 --> 00:22:09,230
it worth it in some way. Not everybody

613
00:22:09,230 --> 00:22:11,390
needs the same kind of feedback, but everybody

614
00:22:11,390 --> 00:22:12,450
fucking needs feedback.

615
00:22:14,429 --> 00:22:16,190
I still go back to why why these

616
00:22:16,190 --> 00:22:17,089
things specifically.

617
00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:19,490
My uncharitable

618
00:22:19,789 --> 00:22:21,470
side is like, that sounds like a fucking

619
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:22,369
power trip.

620
00:22:23,674 --> 00:22:25,455
Because three of those rules

621
00:22:25,914 --> 00:22:27,755
three of those rules, maybe four, the first

622
00:22:27,755 --> 00:22:28,255
four,

623
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:31,195
yeah, that's all good for you stuff. Right?

624
00:22:31,195 --> 00:22:34,234
Mhmm. Number five, that sounds like a fucking

625
00:22:34,234 --> 00:22:36,609
power trip. I can get this person to

626
00:22:36,609 --> 00:22:38,630
do it because I said to do it,

627
00:22:38,849 --> 00:22:40,529
and they'll do it even when they're in

628
00:22:40,529 --> 00:22:41,589
pain. Because

629
00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:44,309
even if the pain has gone away now,

630
00:22:44,849 --> 00:22:45,089
the

631
00:22:45,970 --> 00:22:48,529
you remember that pain. Your body remembers that

632
00:22:48,529 --> 00:22:49,829
pain. That was a stressor.

633
00:22:50,434 --> 00:22:51,815
Without then the support,

634
00:22:52,194 --> 00:22:54,775
it doesn't sound like, of the person who

635
00:22:54,835 --> 00:22:56,375
asked you to do this for them,

636
00:22:57,075 --> 00:23:00,194
how are you not, like, spiraling and crying?

637
00:23:00,194 --> 00:23:01,095
Yeah. You know?

638
00:23:04,690 --> 00:23:06,369
I don't know how to tell because I'm

639
00:23:06,369 --> 00:23:06,869
not

640
00:23:08,690 --> 00:23:12,130
a professional medical professional or, you know, a,

641
00:23:12,289 --> 00:23:14,210
mental health professional. And I kinda wish I

642
00:23:14,210 --> 00:23:16,289
was to actually give some helpful fucking advice

643
00:23:16,289 --> 00:23:17,669
because what do you do

644
00:23:18,049 --> 00:23:18,549
to

645
00:23:19,304 --> 00:23:21,464
to work through this? I wish I knew.

646
00:23:21,464 --> 00:23:22,764
I would a kink,

647
00:23:23,625 --> 00:23:24,605
aware therapist?

648
00:23:25,224 --> 00:23:26,505
Start there because I

649
00:23:27,944 --> 00:23:29,625
this is a blanket statement. I don't usually

650
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:31,464
do those, but that sounds like fucking trauma

651
00:23:31,464 --> 00:23:33,085
to me. Not intentional

652
00:23:33,384 --> 00:23:33,884
necessarily,

653
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:35,380
but

654
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,059
all of that and then he couldn't communicate

655
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:41,120
much, so you were left to do it

656
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,279
on your own and the only reason you're

657
00:23:43,279 --> 00:23:45,059
doing it is for this person.

658
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,744
Maybe there was something in there about wanting

659
00:23:47,744 --> 00:23:49,744
to prove, you know, to yourself that you

660
00:23:49,744 --> 00:23:51,345
could do these hard things too and that

661
00:23:51,345 --> 00:23:53,184
you were air quote good or real air

662
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,285
big fat fucking air quotes submissive?

663
00:23:55,664 --> 00:23:58,144
Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. Like there's all kinds of,

664
00:23:58,144 --> 00:23:58,644
like,

665
00:23:59,424 --> 00:23:59,924
personal,

666
00:24:00,944 --> 00:24:01,845
what are the words?

667
00:24:02,545 --> 00:24:03,859
There's a word I want.

668
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,000
I can't think of the word. Personal reasons

669
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,940
to do things. Right? Personal motivation.

670
00:24:10,319 --> 00:24:11,220
Personal motivations

671
00:24:11,759 --> 00:24:12,980
to do stuff. Right?

672
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,000
But if not if all of that is

673
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:16,500
incongruent

674
00:24:16,799 --> 00:24:19,345
with the way you're you're being treated and

675
00:24:19,345 --> 00:24:20,944
the connection you have with the person who

676
00:24:20,944 --> 00:24:22,244
has asked you to do this,

677
00:24:24,144 --> 00:24:26,125
that that's a fucking lot. I

678
00:24:29,184 --> 00:24:30,464
you know, is there a part of you

679
00:24:30,464 --> 00:24:31,365
that's angry

680
00:24:31,984 --> 00:24:32,484
that

681
00:24:33,849 --> 00:24:35,769
he this person asked you to do all

682
00:24:35,769 --> 00:24:37,929
of these things and that caused pain and

683
00:24:37,929 --> 00:24:40,589
it stressed you out? I don't like anything

684
00:24:40,649 --> 00:24:42,250
that says, oh, you'll do this thing for

685
00:24:42,250 --> 00:24:43,609
me and yet means you probably won't get

686
00:24:43,609 --> 00:24:45,289
to see your friends. That is one step

687
00:24:45,289 --> 00:24:46,889
away from I control who you get to

688
00:24:46,889 --> 00:24:47,389
see.

689
00:24:47,690 --> 00:24:48,190
Right?

690
00:24:48,490 --> 00:24:50,454
It's it's like right on the border. Right?

691
00:24:50,454 --> 00:24:52,634
Because, yeah, there are times I'm doing something

692
00:24:52,775 --> 00:24:54,214
for my relationship and it means I don't

693
00:24:54,214 --> 00:24:55,894
get to go do something else that's fun.

694
00:24:55,894 --> 00:24:57,575
Right. That's a choice I get to make.

695
00:24:57,575 --> 00:24:59,035
But to set,

696
00:24:59,974 --> 00:25:01,595
an itinerary like this,

697
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,720
of what you're supposed to do nearly or

698
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,420
literally every single day.

699
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,680
And part of that means, yeah, you'll miss

700
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,200
out on doing stuff with your friends. Sucks

701
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:11,940
to suck.

702
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,460
That's that's just too close to the line

703
00:25:15,519 --> 00:25:16,259
of abuse.

704
00:25:19,914 --> 00:25:22,154
Yeah. No. I don't I don't know how

705
00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:22,654
you

706
00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:25,775
are excited or happy

707
00:25:26,715 --> 00:25:28,795
Yeah. With this purse when you're just even

708
00:25:28,795 --> 00:25:30,255
with this person. You know?

709
00:25:31,195 --> 00:25:31,695
Because

710
00:25:32,634 --> 00:25:33,375
they caused

711
00:25:33,970 --> 00:25:37,029
harm regardless of what their fucking intention was.

712
00:25:37,490 --> 00:25:38,849
Now I can be a bitch and read

713
00:25:38,849 --> 00:25:40,049
into it and go, that sounds like a

714
00:25:40,049 --> 00:25:41,809
fucking power trip to me, but I'm trying

715
00:25:41,809 --> 00:25:44,470
to be respectful of actual high protocol relationships

716
00:25:44,690 --> 00:25:45,190
because

717
00:25:45,730 --> 00:25:46,389
I don't

718
00:25:46,714 --> 00:25:48,315
I don't have experience with them. I don't

719
00:25:48,315 --> 00:25:50,575
know enough about them. I don't want to,

720
00:25:50,714 --> 00:25:51,695
you know, belittle

721
00:25:52,394 --> 00:25:53,134
the thing.

722
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:54,095
Yeah.

723
00:25:55,035 --> 00:25:56,954
I mean You come on. You know, like

724
00:25:56,954 --> 00:25:58,414
anything else in in lifestyle,

725
00:25:58,869 --> 00:25:59,769
you know, while

726
00:26:00,230 --> 00:26:01,690
high protocol is

727
00:26:02,789 --> 00:26:04,649
a very regimented thing,

728
00:26:06,710 --> 00:26:08,569
it's not meant to cause harm.

729
00:26:09,349 --> 00:26:11,829
No. No. It's fine to be challenging physically

730
00:26:11,829 --> 00:26:14,115
or mentally. There's nothing wrong with something being

731
00:26:14,115 --> 00:26:16,755
challenging, but it should not. Challenging and pushing

732
00:26:16,755 --> 00:26:19,394
boundaries is one thing. Right. Right. I mean,

733
00:26:19,394 --> 00:26:21,315
good God. It let's say this person just

734
00:26:21,315 --> 00:26:23,795
loves junk food, and for a set amount

735
00:26:23,795 --> 00:26:25,075
of time they agreed to no junk food.

736
00:26:25,075 --> 00:26:27,549
That's a challenge on its fucking own, especially

737
00:26:27,549 --> 00:26:29,190
if they happen to live in The US.

738
00:26:29,190 --> 00:26:31,450
We are surrounded by it. It is everywhere.

739
00:26:31,670 --> 00:26:33,109
Can't get away from it all. Can't get

740
00:26:33,109 --> 00:26:35,190
away from it. One of those things would

741
00:26:35,190 --> 00:26:37,509
be a challenge. I I really dislike number

742
00:26:37,509 --> 00:26:38,009
five.

743
00:26:38,309 --> 00:26:39,990
Six to eight hours on my feet every

744
00:26:39,990 --> 00:26:41,049
single day,

745
00:26:42,125 --> 00:26:44,044
regardless of what you're doing, like just and

746
00:26:44,044 --> 00:26:45,724
then they became, like they said, they became

747
00:26:45,724 --> 00:26:48,044
obsessive. They're down to the second, and I

748
00:26:48,044 --> 00:26:49,404
relate to that. If you tell me a

749
00:26:49,404 --> 00:26:50,684
thing I'm supposed to do and there's a

750
00:26:50,684 --> 00:26:51,184
time

751
00:26:51,565 --> 00:26:54,044
limit for it, I get very uncomfortable if

752
00:26:54,044 --> 00:26:55,970
I'm a minute, I stop a minute early.

753
00:26:56,029 --> 00:26:58,269
I think, oh no, I've I've done a

754
00:26:58,269 --> 00:27:00,990
bad, I've not I've not lived up to

755
00:27:00,990 --> 00:27:02,690
the spirit of the thing, like

756
00:27:03,150 --> 00:27:05,089
I just Yeah. I

757
00:27:06,589 --> 00:27:08,414
I don't like anything about this.

758
00:27:09,455 --> 00:27:09,955
I

759
00:27:12,575 --> 00:27:13,634
one through four,

760
00:27:14,095 --> 00:27:16,255
we all need some of that to some

761
00:27:16,255 --> 00:27:16,755
extent.

762
00:27:17,455 --> 00:27:17,955
Five,

763
00:27:18,575 --> 00:27:20,335
to go through the physical pain, to not

764
00:27:20,335 --> 00:27:21,875
have consistent communication,

765
00:27:22,255 --> 00:27:24,859
to not be getting feedback, to not feel

766
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:26,140
supported.

767
00:27:26,839 --> 00:27:27,339
Like,

768
00:27:28,519 --> 00:27:31,319
subs do difficult things for their doms all

769
00:27:31,319 --> 00:27:33,880
the fucking time. Things that push them. Things

770
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,259
that, you know, make them

771
00:27:35,559 --> 00:27:37,900
uncomfortable in a way that's, like, safe uncomfortable.

772
00:27:38,039 --> 00:27:39,255
Right? Like, not, like,

773
00:27:40,214 --> 00:27:42,615
coercive or nonconsensual, but, like, oh, I've never

774
00:27:42,615 --> 00:27:44,214
done this before. Am I capable of it?

775
00:27:44,214 --> 00:27:45,595
That kind of uncomfortable.

776
00:27:46,775 --> 00:27:47,275
But

777
00:27:48,295 --> 00:27:48,795
how

778
00:27:50,295 --> 00:27:50,795
how

779
00:27:51,255 --> 00:27:53,130
is it okay to do it without a

780
00:27:53,130 --> 00:27:55,529
supportive dom? In whatever way that looks like

781
00:27:55,529 --> 00:27:56,109
for them.

782
00:27:56,730 --> 00:27:58,329
I don't I don't like it. I don't

783
00:27:58,329 --> 00:28:00,890
like it. It sounds traumatic. And I it

784
00:28:00,890 --> 00:28:02,730
feels like the way they're responding is like

785
00:28:02,730 --> 00:28:04,570
somebody who has faced trauma and is still

786
00:28:04,570 --> 00:28:05,355
dealing with it.

787
00:28:05,914 --> 00:28:07,054
I don't like it.

788
00:28:07,355 --> 00:28:08,954
Throw the whole dom away is all I'm

789
00:28:08,954 --> 00:28:10,315
saying. I don't I don't like it at

790
00:28:10,315 --> 00:28:10,815
all.

791
00:28:13,434 --> 00:28:16,234
Anything you'd like to add? Okay. Let's go

792
00:28:16,234 --> 00:28:17,375
to the next one.

793
00:28:19,190 --> 00:28:20,490
Oh, this is a long one.

794
00:28:22,230 --> 00:28:24,470
Okay. Sub just told me I'm acting like

795
00:28:24,470 --> 00:28:26,950
a sub and she's not into it. I

796
00:28:26,950 --> 00:28:28,470
feel like I'm screwed, but I'm gonna try

797
00:28:28,470 --> 00:28:30,330
and recover. It's been hell

798
00:28:30,664 --> 00:28:31,804
these past few weeks.

799
00:28:32,105 --> 00:28:35,644
I moved my female 33 sub, female 36,

800
00:28:35,784 --> 00:28:37,784
halfway across The USA to move in with

801
00:28:37,784 --> 00:28:39,464
me, had to help pack and load most

802
00:28:39,464 --> 00:28:40,524
of her stuff myself,

803
00:28:40,904 --> 00:28:42,900
drove through a blizzard for thirty six hours

804
00:28:42,980 --> 00:28:45,059
straight, moved her in, started a new school

805
00:28:45,059 --> 00:28:46,900
semester, and put down my cat of twelve

806
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:48,200
years aggressive cancer,

807
00:28:48,740 --> 00:28:50,119
all within five days.

808
00:28:50,420 --> 00:28:52,420
Add my fifty hour work week into that

809
00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:54,259
and ending things with my other sub in

810
00:28:54,259 --> 00:28:56,920
the days following and I'm a little tired.

811
00:28:57,654 --> 00:28:59,575
We don't have a twenty four hour dynamic

812
00:28:59,575 --> 00:29:01,015
to be clear though I just ask her

813
00:29:01,015 --> 00:29:03,095
if that's what she if that's what she

814
00:29:03,095 --> 00:29:04,934
wants. I think it's because the other day

815
00:29:04,934 --> 00:29:06,394
in the grocery store parking

816
00:29:06,934 --> 00:29:08,555
grocery store parking lot,

817
00:29:09,015 --> 00:29:10,919
it caught up to her and I I

818
00:29:10,919 --> 00:29:12,359
caught up to her. Oh my gosh. I'm

819
00:29:12,359 --> 00:29:13,259
so sorry, y'all.

820
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,720
Part of it's typos. Part of it's my

821
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,799
my me. We don't have a twenty four

822
00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:20,119
hour dynamic to be clear, though I just

823
00:29:20,119 --> 00:29:22,440
asked her if that's what she wants. I

824
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,119
think it's because the other day in the

825
00:29:24,119 --> 00:29:25,204
grocery store parking

826
00:29:25,505 --> 00:29:26,944
lot, I caught up to her and put

827
00:29:26,944 --> 00:29:28,565
my arm through hers playfully.

828
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:31,105
She pulled away and compared it to a

829
00:29:31,105 --> 00:29:33,345
formal ball and how it felt like she

830
00:29:33,345 --> 00:29:36,144
was leading me. I'm ignorant to things like

831
00:29:36,144 --> 00:29:38,549
that, I admit. She's from a completely different

832
00:29:38,549 --> 00:29:40,630
tax bracket than I am so maybe it's

833
00:29:40,630 --> 00:29:42,630
a cultural or whatever you want to call

834
00:29:42,630 --> 00:29:45,109
it thing. I've also never danced in any

835
00:29:45,109 --> 00:29:47,029
formal way so I'm still a bit confused

836
00:29:47,029 --> 00:29:49,750
on how linking arms is leading anyone, but

837
00:29:49,750 --> 00:29:51,304
she doesn't like it and somehow

838
00:29:51,684 --> 00:29:53,625
that made me come off as submissive.

839
00:29:54,164 --> 00:29:56,164
Then last night after a huge fight with

840
00:29:56,164 --> 00:29:57,944
someone else, I was a bit emotional.

841
00:29:58,404 --> 00:30:00,005
I'm not proud of it but I was.

842
00:30:00,005 --> 00:30:01,845
I haven't had time to recover from anything

843
00:30:01,845 --> 00:30:03,539
and then I had some nasty things at

844
00:30:03,539 --> 00:30:04,039
work.

845
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:05,799
EMS MCI,

846
00:30:06,179 --> 00:30:07,399
if you know, you know?

847
00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:10,419
And it's burning me out. She then decides

848
00:30:10,419 --> 00:30:12,019
to join me while I'm eating and tell

849
00:30:12,019 --> 00:30:15,159
me I've been acting submissive lately but can't

850
00:30:15,220 --> 00:30:16,679
or just won't elaborate.

851
00:30:17,234 --> 00:30:19,394
She then asks to take it back and

852
00:30:19,394 --> 00:30:21,494
I say no. Something I'm doing is obviously

853
00:30:21,634 --> 00:30:23,714
bothering you. I bring up the grocery store

854
00:30:23,714 --> 00:30:25,394
again and she tries to explain it but

855
00:30:25,394 --> 00:30:26,535
I'm just more confused.

856
00:30:26,914 --> 00:30:28,595
At this point, all I know is it's

857
00:30:28,595 --> 00:30:30,539
bad. Don't do it. She never gave me

858
00:30:30,539 --> 00:30:32,220
an answer as to what I'm doing that's

859
00:30:32,220 --> 00:30:34,380
submissive, which is totally fine because I'm a

860
00:30:34,380 --> 00:30:35,440
switch or something,

861
00:30:36,140 --> 00:30:38,140
but it just doesn't work for her. I

862
00:30:38,140 --> 00:30:40,220
don't even know how I'm acting submissive other

863
00:30:40,220 --> 00:30:42,140
than being a bit emotional because I'm a

864
00:30:42,140 --> 00:30:43,500
bit at the end of my rope and

865
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:44,804
haven't had a moment to breathe in a

866
00:30:44,804 --> 00:30:47,044
few weeks now. Maybe it's because I'm trying

867
00:30:47,044 --> 00:30:48,644
to make her more comfortable in her new

868
00:30:48,644 --> 00:30:50,105
home on the other side of the country,

869
00:30:50,164 --> 00:30:52,005
and I'm being what I thought was agreeable

870
00:30:52,005 --> 00:30:53,684
to new furniture and ways of running my

871
00:30:53,684 --> 00:30:55,764
house. I don't honestly know, and she won't

872
00:30:55,764 --> 00:30:57,630
tell me what's wrong. I put the Dom's

873
00:30:57,630 --> 00:30:59,710
stuff on hold while we settled in because

874
00:30:59,710 --> 00:31:01,789
it's hard to focus on dynamic stuff with

875
00:31:01,789 --> 00:31:03,710
life moving a million miles a minute, and

876
00:31:03,710 --> 00:31:06,430
she was fine with it. Maybe I paused

877
00:31:06,430 --> 00:31:08,269
too long for her liking. I don't know.

878
00:31:08,269 --> 00:31:10,109
But I'm only human, can't read her mind,

879
00:31:10,109 --> 00:31:12,029
and I'm struggling to keep my head above

880
00:31:12,029 --> 00:31:12,644
water right

881
00:31:13,845 --> 00:31:15,845
now. Oh, this poor thing. Wow. That's a

882
00:31:15,845 --> 00:31:18,565
lot. Yeah. That's a lot. A lot. And

883
00:31:18,565 --> 00:31:19,924
for anybody who does not know, we did

884
00:31:19,924 --> 00:31:21,384
get clarification. EMS

885
00:31:21,924 --> 00:31:24,744
MCI, thank you, live chat, mister Spock,

886
00:31:25,045 --> 00:31:28,509
mass casualty incident. Oh, wow. That's that's a

887
00:31:28,509 --> 00:31:31,169
lot. Yeah. And with everything else she described

888
00:31:31,710 --> 00:31:33,089
in the process of moving

889
00:31:33,390 --> 00:31:34,049
her partner

890
00:31:34,349 --> 00:31:35,329
across the country,

891
00:31:35,789 --> 00:31:37,549
I'm proud of her for putting the dynamic

892
00:31:37,549 --> 00:31:39,230
on hold. That is exactly what we would

893
00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:41,654
recommend to anybody. Mhmm. But let's talk about

894
00:31:41,654 --> 00:31:44,134
the submissive who thinks that the actions that

895
00:31:44,134 --> 00:31:45,115
have been described

896
00:31:45,734 --> 00:31:48,534
coming from her dom are somehow submissive. What

897
00:31:48,534 --> 00:31:49,514
what say you?

898
00:31:51,654 --> 00:31:53,654
You know, honestly, I don't know what to

899
00:31:53,654 --> 00:31:54,180
say about

900
00:31:56,340 --> 00:31:58,840
this one. Okay. I really don't.

901
00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:03,960
It's it's a bit of a roller coaster.

902
00:32:06,019 --> 00:32:08,575
I mean, I know it's tough moving in.

903
00:32:08,575 --> 00:32:10,575
We Right. Did it. We didn't come from

904
00:32:10,575 --> 00:32:12,274
across the country. Right.

905
00:32:13,134 --> 00:32:13,534
But,

906
00:32:14,815 --> 00:32:16,595
you know, yeah. We we did

907
00:32:17,615 --> 00:32:18,355
set our

908
00:32:19,534 --> 00:32:22,009
power exchange on hold. After we figured out

909
00:32:22,009 --> 00:32:22,890
we had to. After we figured out we

910
00:32:22,890 --> 00:32:24,490
had to. We had no choice. This is

911
00:32:24,490 --> 00:32:26,730
amazing. Already freaking figured it out. I'm very

912
00:32:26,730 --> 00:32:27,950
proud of her. Yeah.

913
00:32:29,049 --> 00:32:29,369
But,

914
00:32:30,970 --> 00:32:33,309
you know, we kept in communication

915
00:32:34,409 --> 00:32:37,774
with what was going on. Mhmm. And we

916
00:32:39,274 --> 00:32:41,115
both came to a point where we said,

917
00:32:41,115 --> 00:32:43,274
okay, we're ready. We're both ready to do

918
00:32:43,274 --> 00:32:44,015
this again.

919
00:32:44,794 --> 00:32:46,974
Mhmm. You know, and then we moved forward.

920
00:32:50,529 --> 00:32:52,390
I mean, to me, I don't like the

921
00:32:52,690 --> 00:32:54,450
the part, you know, you can't tell someone,

922
00:32:54,450 --> 00:32:57,089
well, you're acting away. Yeah. What does that

923
00:32:57,089 --> 00:32:59,170
even fucking mean? Yeah. Right. You know, and

924
00:32:59,170 --> 00:33:01,009
then you can't even tell them what it

925
00:33:01,009 --> 00:33:02,789
means. Right. And is it that they cannot

926
00:33:03,794 --> 00:33:05,914
it's a vibe they're getting, or are they

927
00:33:05,914 --> 00:33:07,355
not saying it because they think they're gonna

928
00:33:07,355 --> 00:33:09,174
hurt feelings or whatever whatever?

929
00:33:09,875 --> 00:33:11,394
And you don't know because they are not

930
00:33:11,394 --> 00:33:13,554
telling you. Here was my one of my

931
00:33:13,554 --> 00:33:15,960
takes on it. Mhmm. It sounds

932
00:33:16,340 --> 00:33:18,980
like the submissive in this situation has some

933
00:33:18,980 --> 00:33:21,559
idea of what they think dominance looks like,

934
00:33:21,779 --> 00:33:23,400
and this person is not

935
00:33:23,940 --> 00:33:27,320
playing that part correctly. Playing that role. Right.

936
00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:27,880
So

937
00:33:28,180 --> 00:33:29,559
maybe it's they expected

938
00:33:31,144 --> 00:33:33,384
her to take charge in all things to

939
00:33:33,384 --> 00:33:35,484
tell the sub what to do. And

940
00:33:36,345 --> 00:33:37,884
the dominant partner's like,

941
00:33:38,424 --> 00:33:39,884
I'm trying to get you settled.

942
00:33:40,265 --> 00:33:42,690
My life is insane right now. I'm an

943
00:33:42,690 --> 00:33:44,630
emotional fucking wreck. Like,

944
00:33:45,089 --> 00:33:47,490
this is further proof. Not that we should

945
00:33:47,490 --> 00:33:49,750
need it, but it is yet another example

946
00:33:50,450 --> 00:33:53,269
of doms are humans too, and they need

947
00:33:53,329 --> 00:33:55,730
emotional support just like everybody else does, and

948
00:33:55,730 --> 00:33:57,085
they need the space to to kind of

949
00:33:57,085 --> 00:33:59,245
fall apart a little bit. And quite frankly,

950
00:33:59,245 --> 00:34:01,884
they're being super responsible by not trying to

951
00:34:01,884 --> 00:34:03,345
engage in a power dynamic

952
00:34:03,725 --> 00:34:05,164
when they gotta deal with all of this,

953
00:34:05,164 --> 00:34:07,085
and they they hadn't even recovered from any

954
00:34:07,085 --> 00:34:07,904
of it yet.

955
00:34:08,285 --> 00:34:09,976
But that is how I'm reading it. The

956
00:34:09,976 --> 00:34:11,960
submissive partner thinks has a some partner thinks

957
00:34:12,579 --> 00:34:13,559
has a some

958
00:34:14,260 --> 00:34:16,340
picture in their head of what dominance looks

959
00:34:16,340 --> 00:34:19,159
like, and this partner is not meeting that

960
00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:21,139
threshold. I don't think that's fair. I think

961
00:34:21,139 --> 00:34:23,059
the submissive partner kinda needs to get the

962
00:34:23,059 --> 00:34:24,039
fuck over it.

963
00:34:24,820 --> 00:34:26,835
That's me being, you know,

964
00:34:27,535 --> 00:34:28,755
a bitch about it.

965
00:34:30,175 --> 00:34:32,335
But they also need to, like, use their

966
00:34:32,335 --> 00:34:34,275
big girl words and explain

967
00:34:34,655 --> 00:34:37,474
what they mean. Right. And if you can't

968
00:34:37,535 --> 00:34:38,515
explain it,

969
00:34:39,079 --> 00:34:40,679
this is not always true. But in this

970
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:43,079
instance, that's a you problem, not your Dom's

971
00:34:43,079 --> 00:34:43,579
problem.

972
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,579
Because if you don't know

973
00:34:46,119 --> 00:34:49,400
and you can't say more than I'm getting

974
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,785
this this vibe from you. Your dom can

975
00:34:51,785 --> 00:34:54,345
do nothing about it. Your dom can't explain

976
00:34:54,345 --> 00:34:56,985
things. They can't change behavior if they choose

977
00:34:56,985 --> 00:34:57,485
to.

978
00:34:57,865 --> 00:34:59,144
You know? I mean there's a lot of

979
00:34:59,144 --> 00:35:00,204
speculation of

980
00:35:01,065 --> 00:35:03,144
did is the submissive now going, oh shit,

981
00:35:03,144 --> 00:35:04,619
I just moved across the country. Is this

982
00:35:04,619 --> 00:35:06,460
really where I wanna be? Are they having

983
00:35:06,460 --> 00:35:08,380
regrets that they don't wanna talk about? Now

984
00:35:08,380 --> 00:35:10,539
they're looking for reasons why the relation that

985
00:35:10,539 --> 00:35:12,940
is pure speculation. None of that's indicated here,

986
00:35:12,940 --> 00:35:13,440
but

987
00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:15,740
I know how to tell myself a fictional

988
00:35:15,740 --> 00:35:16,559
story. So,

989
00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:18,240
you know,

990
00:35:18,780 --> 00:35:21,244
did they have expectations of what would happen

991
00:35:21,244 --> 00:35:23,085
once they were moved in together? And those

992
00:35:23,085 --> 00:35:25,885
things aren't happening, will never happen, just haven't

993
00:35:25,885 --> 00:35:26,785
happened yet.

994
00:35:27,164 --> 00:35:28,545
You know, where's the conversation

995
00:35:29,164 --> 00:35:31,325
about this is what our power exchange will

996
00:35:31,325 --> 00:35:32,670
look like once we're in it?

997
00:35:33,230 --> 00:35:34,510
You know, I think it's fair if the

998
00:35:34,510 --> 00:35:36,690
dominoes isn't even ready to have that conversation.

999
00:35:37,150 --> 00:35:39,170
But is that the conversation the submissive

1000
00:35:39,789 --> 00:35:42,130
expected and now they're not getting it?

1001
00:35:42,829 --> 00:35:43,889
I do find

1002
00:35:44,190 --> 00:35:46,485
so I understood what the submissive was talking

1003
00:35:46,485 --> 00:35:48,244
talking about with the way you link arms

1004
00:35:48,244 --> 00:35:50,744
with somebody. Mhmm. There is a way that

1005
00:35:51,364 --> 00:35:53,684
must there's a way that when I do

1006
00:35:53,684 --> 00:35:55,364
the opposite of how I link arms with

1007
00:35:55,364 --> 00:35:55,864
you,

1008
00:35:56,325 --> 00:35:58,244
when I link my when I link with

1009
00:35:58,244 --> 00:35:59,445
you the way you link with me, it

1010
00:35:59,445 --> 00:36:01,445
does feel weird because I don't feel like

1011
00:36:01,445 --> 00:36:03,929
I'm following. I got I understood, I think,

1012
00:36:03,929 --> 00:36:06,010
what the submissive was trying to say. Okay.

1013
00:36:06,010 --> 00:36:07,070
But that's a really

1014
00:36:07,530 --> 00:36:10,170
weird detail to pin the I think you're

1015
00:36:10,170 --> 00:36:11,230
a sub vibe

1016
00:36:12,570 --> 00:36:15,130
on a person. I think it is that

1017
00:36:15,130 --> 00:36:17,635
this the dom is probably showing their emotions

1018
00:36:17,635 --> 00:36:19,474
and being real about their emotions and that

1019
00:36:19,474 --> 00:36:21,795
they are not, like, just taking charge of

1020
00:36:21,795 --> 00:36:24,295
every single thing and they are not whatever

1021
00:36:24,514 --> 00:36:26,994
the submissive thinks dominants are doing. And so

1022
00:36:26,994 --> 00:36:28,594
to not do those things, well, you must

1023
00:36:28,594 --> 00:36:29,300
be submissive.

1024
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:30,660
No.

1025
00:36:31,199 --> 00:36:31,699
No.

1026
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,940
No. No. No.

1027
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:34,980
No.

1028
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,679
We've said it a million times. I'll say

1029
00:36:37,679 --> 00:36:40,079
it a million and one. There are as

1030
00:36:40,079 --> 00:36:42,239
many ways to be dominant as there are

1031
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:43,539
dominants in the world.

1032
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:44,500
And

1033
00:36:44,855 --> 00:36:46,315
I prefer my dominance

1034
00:36:46,614 --> 00:36:48,614
to have, like, you know, an actual human

1035
00:36:48,614 --> 00:36:49,114
side

1036
00:36:49,734 --> 00:36:52,214
and to, like, have emotional needs and to

1037
00:36:52,214 --> 00:36:53,494
be able to kind of go, hey, I

1038
00:36:53,494 --> 00:36:56,135
gotta step back because I can't be in

1039
00:36:56,135 --> 00:36:58,389
charge of you and have this control while

1040
00:36:58,389 --> 00:37:00,389
I got this dumpster fire going on behind

1041
00:37:00,389 --> 00:37:02,409
me. It'd be a little boring if everybody

1042
00:37:02,550 --> 00:37:04,250
did it the same way. I know.

1043
00:37:05,989 --> 00:37:06,489
But

1044
00:37:07,030 --> 00:37:09,510
the dominant partner's right. She can't read her

1045
00:37:09,510 --> 00:37:10,650
mind. No. So

1046
00:37:11,984 --> 00:37:13,585
this missus is gonna have to, like, use

1047
00:37:13,585 --> 00:37:15,505
her big girl words and fucking say it

1048
00:37:15,505 --> 00:37:16,864
even if it's hard, even if you think

1049
00:37:16,864 --> 00:37:19,264
you're gonna hurt somebody's feelings. Yeah. Even if

1050
00:37:19,264 --> 00:37:20,864
you think you might be wrong so you

1051
00:37:20,864 --> 00:37:22,960
don't wanna actually say it out loud. And

1052
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:25,039
if and I'll I'll be I'll be charitable.

1053
00:37:25,039 --> 00:37:26,900
If you can't explain the why,

1054
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,920
explain the actions that you're seeing and or

1055
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,840
explain the actions you want and are not

1056
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:32,340
getting.

1057
00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:34,480
What is it you want your partner to

1058
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,535
be doing and that they're not? And so

1059
00:37:36,535 --> 00:37:38,375
by them not doing it, you're getting this

1060
00:37:38,375 --> 00:37:39,434
submissive vibe.

1061
00:37:40,695 --> 00:37:42,855
But you gotta fucking talk about it because

1062
00:37:42,855 --> 00:37:45,114
it's all been placed on this Dom's shoulders

1063
00:37:45,255 --> 00:37:46,074
at a time

1064
00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:47,255
when

1065
00:37:48,054 --> 00:37:48,715
I mean,

1066
00:37:49,940 --> 00:37:51,619
when it rains, it pours. Right? Like, that's

1067
00:37:51,619 --> 00:37:53,299
a that's a lot. That's a lot a

1068
00:37:53,299 --> 00:37:54,179
lot. Mhmm. I did

1069
00:37:55,139 --> 00:37:56,440
look. Everybody's different,

1070
00:37:57,059 --> 00:37:58,900
and there are all kinds of reasons for

1071
00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:00,279
this. But I do find

1072
00:38:01,299 --> 00:38:03,505
it telling that one of the lines in

1073
00:38:03,505 --> 00:38:04,005
this

1074
00:38:04,465 --> 00:38:07,744
first paragraph trying to explain is the thing

1075
00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:08,244
is,

1076
00:38:09,105 --> 00:38:11,105
I had to help pack and load most

1077
00:38:11,105 --> 00:38:12,324
of her stuff myself.

1078
00:38:12,704 --> 00:38:14,244
Including that detail

1079
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,699
makes me think that that was not expected,

1080
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:19,980
and they thought they'd be

1081
00:38:20,519 --> 00:38:21,019
helping

1082
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:23,880
Mhmm. Their partner do this, and their partner

1083
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:26,440
would be taking care of things because it's

1084
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,840
their shit being packed up and moved. That's

1085
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:31,375
pure speculation, but I find it telling that

1086
00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:33,375
in the middle of that first paragraph of

1087
00:38:33,375 --> 00:38:37,315
here is how hellacious life is. Right? Mhmm.

1088
00:38:38,094 --> 00:38:40,414
They're they're noticing that they just had to

1089
00:38:40,414 --> 00:38:42,275
do all of that for this person who

1090
00:38:42,655 --> 00:38:45,315
they were moving across the country with them.

1091
00:38:46,309 --> 00:38:46,809
I

1092
00:38:48,550 --> 00:38:50,630
I it's time to talk about what submission

1093
00:38:50,630 --> 00:38:52,550
means to the sub and what they're looking

1094
00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:54,469
what they want from their dominant partner and

1095
00:38:54,469 --> 00:38:56,550
the dominant partner getting to go, is that

1096
00:38:56,550 --> 00:38:58,550
even what I want to give and do,

1097
00:38:58,550 --> 00:39:00,375
and can I give it? And, you know,

1098
00:39:00,375 --> 00:39:01,914
how are we gonna proceed forward?

1099
00:39:02,375 --> 00:39:04,775
I think the dom is doing doing things

1100
00:39:04,775 --> 00:39:07,574
right by being like, no no dynamic right

1101
00:39:07,574 --> 00:39:10,054
now. Mhmm. But I wouldn't continue with the

1102
00:39:10,054 --> 00:39:12,695
dynamic until your submissive could tell you what

1103
00:39:12,695 --> 00:39:13,880
the fuck she means. Means.

1104
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:15,000
Right.

1105
00:39:15,619 --> 00:39:16,119
Anyway.

1106
00:39:18,019 --> 00:39:18,519
Anyway.

1107
00:39:19,619 --> 00:39:20,119
Okay.

1108
00:39:22,500 --> 00:39:23,000
Okay.

1109
00:39:23,380 --> 00:39:24,359
Next one.

1110
00:39:26,259 --> 00:39:27,719
I did this one for you.

1111
00:39:28,994 --> 00:39:30,295
You can see from the title.

1112
00:39:31,635 --> 00:39:33,714
What are healthy reasons someone wants to be

1113
00:39:33,714 --> 00:39:34,295
a dom?

1114
00:39:34,674 --> 00:39:36,454
Trigger warning for sexual abuse.

1115
00:39:36,755 --> 00:39:39,394
I, 19 female, had been in a relationship

1116
00:39:39,394 --> 00:39:41,154
with this guy. He was my first everything

1117
00:39:41,154 --> 00:39:42,914
and so he kinda introduced me to the

1118
00:39:42,914 --> 00:39:45,220
kink world. Eventually when we moved in, we

1119
00:39:45,220 --> 00:39:46,980
had talked about trying more intense sex and

1120
00:39:46,980 --> 00:39:48,500
we talked about boundaries and everything and it

1121
00:39:48,500 --> 00:39:49,960
was an ongoing conversation.

1122
00:39:50,420 --> 00:39:52,739
So things started being more rough and intense

1123
00:39:52,739 --> 00:39:54,500
and I really enjoyed it until he told

1124
00:39:54,500 --> 00:39:55,400
me that he

1125
00:39:55,780 --> 00:39:57,704
he likes having sex with me after an

1126
00:39:57,945 --> 00:40:00,184
argument because he wants me to hurt and

1127
00:40:00,184 --> 00:40:02,125
he wants to take it out on me.

1128
00:40:02,505 --> 00:40:05,244
I immediately told him that's just poorly justified

1129
00:40:05,305 --> 00:40:05,805
abuse.

1130
00:40:06,585 --> 00:40:08,585
But I'm left wondering, what is a healthy

1131
00:40:08,585 --> 00:40:10,425
reason to enjoy being a Dom? I know

1132
00:40:10,425 --> 00:40:12,369
that there are healthy reasons, I'm just not

1133
00:40:12,369 --> 00:40:13,650
a dom, so I don't know what to

1134
00:40:13,650 --> 00:40:15,650
look out for and what reasons are healthy

1135
00:40:15,650 --> 00:40:16,150
reasons.

1136
00:40:16,690 --> 00:40:19,429
I'm glad she clocked. That response

1137
00:40:19,730 --> 00:40:22,150
was not a healthy response. Right.

1138
00:40:22,449 --> 00:40:24,545
I'm so glad she clocked that. I'm proud

1139
00:40:24,545 --> 00:40:25,204
of her.

1140
00:40:26,785 --> 00:40:28,224
I don't think anybody should have to go

1141
00:40:28,224 --> 00:40:30,065
around justifying why you're dumb. Why you're a

1142
00:40:30,065 --> 00:40:32,385
sub. Yeah. But I I do think it's

1143
00:40:32,385 --> 00:40:32,885
a

1144
00:40:33,184 --> 00:40:33,684
interesting

1145
00:40:34,385 --> 00:40:34,885
conversation

1146
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,059
to have. So

1147
00:40:39,079 --> 00:40:41,239
I don't think we can really properly talk

1148
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:42,059
about motivations.

1149
00:40:42,599 --> 00:40:43,099
Mhmm.

1150
00:40:44,519 --> 00:40:46,119
But what is a well, I would rather

1151
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:47,480
and I think somebody in the comments of

1152
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,775
the Reddit posted this too. What's a healthy

1153
00:40:49,914 --> 00:40:52,974
expression of dominance more than a healthy motivation?

1154
00:40:53,755 --> 00:40:55,194
Because motivation is typically

1155
00:40:55,594 --> 00:40:56,094
Expression?

1156
00:40:56,474 --> 00:40:59,295
Control power of some level in some way.

1157
00:40:59,434 --> 00:41:01,375
I mean, to to me Mhmm.

1158
00:41:02,319 --> 00:41:04,400
Okay. One of the things of being a

1159
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:04,900
dom

1160
00:41:06,559 --> 00:41:08,239
is that you're supposed to be supportive of

1161
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:10,159
them and you're supposed to help them and

1162
00:41:10,159 --> 00:41:11,539
and lift them up and

1163
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,019
make them push boundaries in healthy ways

1164
00:41:14,484 --> 00:41:15,304
to help

1165
00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:17,925
them be a better person, be be better

1166
00:41:17,925 --> 00:41:18,425
themselves.

1167
00:41:18,885 --> 00:41:21,764
Explore their desires Yeah. Step into their So

1168
00:41:22,164 --> 00:41:23,704
personhood more fully.

1169
00:41:24,565 --> 00:41:27,099
And Which should go the other way. Right.

1170
00:41:27,099 --> 00:41:29,900
And it goes vice versa. Right. Right. And

1171
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:31,980
want each of you, you know But you

1172
00:41:31,980 --> 00:41:33,739
you as a caregiver, Dom, yeah, you you

1173
00:41:33,739 --> 00:41:35,440
like to do the guide and the

1174
00:41:35,900 --> 00:41:37,760
the betterment of your partner,

1175
00:41:38,059 --> 00:41:39,839
the helping me reach my goals.

1176
00:41:41,275 --> 00:41:43,515
But you also want to be a little

1177
00:41:43,515 --> 00:41:44,815
bit in charge of that.

1178
00:41:47,594 --> 00:41:50,554
Yeah. Just a little bit. Yeah. And so

1179
00:41:50,554 --> 00:41:53,114
we say power and control and guidance is

1180
00:41:53,114 --> 00:41:54,175
another good,

1181
00:41:54,989 --> 00:41:56,769
potential motivation for dominance.

1182
00:41:57,070 --> 00:41:58,530
But the healthy expressions

1183
00:41:58,909 --> 00:41:59,409
I

1184
00:41:59,710 --> 00:42:01,630
I think there might be an overarching one,

1185
00:42:01,630 --> 00:42:03,090
and then there's different,

1186
00:42:04,269 --> 00:42:06,369
subtleties underneath that, which is,

1187
00:42:08,824 --> 00:42:11,144
you want to take that power and control

1188
00:42:11,144 --> 00:42:12,125
or that guidance,

1189
00:42:13,304 --> 00:42:13,804
without

1190
00:42:14,264 --> 00:42:14,764
causing

1191
00:42:15,944 --> 00:42:18,424
real damage, real harm, lasting

1192
00:42:19,065 --> 00:42:19,565
You

1193
00:42:19,864 --> 00:42:21,244
want to use it responsibly.

1194
00:42:21,704 --> 00:42:24,150
The I I want to I wanna take

1195
00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:25,769
my anger out on you

1196
00:42:26,710 --> 00:42:28,409
while being sexual together,

1197
00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:31,690
that's like the one of many

1198
00:42:32,069 --> 00:42:34,949
massive no no's in dominance. You don't do

1199
00:42:34,949 --> 00:42:36,405
shit angry. No.

1200
00:42:36,724 --> 00:42:38,885
You can acknowledge that the thing was wrong

1201
00:42:38,885 --> 00:42:40,644
and not like it, but while you're in

1202
00:42:40,644 --> 00:42:42,565
the middle of anger, you get the fuck

1203
00:42:42,565 --> 00:42:43,765
out of there and you don't do the

1204
00:42:43,765 --> 00:42:45,125
fucking thing. You know what the thing

1205
00:42:47,684 --> 00:42:49,204
Let me see. Let me try to explain

1206
00:42:49,204 --> 00:42:50,344
this. Mhmm.

1207
00:42:52,059 --> 00:42:55,039
It's kind of like Let's use us, okay?

1208
00:42:55,339 --> 00:42:56,639
You would say to me,

1209
00:42:58,219 --> 00:42:59,119
excuse me,

1210
00:43:00,699 --> 00:43:02,539
fuck me like you hate me, daddy. Oh,

1211
00:43:02,539 --> 00:43:04,480
yeah, that's a great time. I like that.

1212
00:43:04,539 --> 00:43:05,440
I like that.

1213
00:43:06,059 --> 00:43:06,559
Okay.

1214
00:43:08,984 --> 00:43:10,924
So, that's something acceptable.

1215
00:43:11,224 --> 00:43:13,804
Right. Because I've asked for it. You have.

1216
00:43:15,144 --> 00:43:17,484
What what struck me with that was

1217
00:43:18,184 --> 00:43:19,085
that I think

1218
00:43:19,944 --> 00:43:21,324
some side eye there

1219
00:43:21,864 --> 00:43:22,364
was

1220
00:43:25,319 --> 00:43:27,639
actually wanted to instigate a fight. So that

1221
00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:29,239
they could do the thing. Yeah. That's not

1222
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:31,239
consensual in any way, shape, or form. I'm

1223
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:32,859
so proud of that person for

1224
00:43:33,159 --> 00:43:35,339
recognizing what the fuck that really was.

1225
00:43:36,644 --> 00:43:39,285
Yeah. You know, I think if if I

1226
00:43:39,285 --> 00:43:41,125
was a baby sub, like, this person is

1227
00:43:41,125 --> 00:43:43,224
19, you're a baby sub. Okay?

1228
00:43:44,324 --> 00:43:45,844
If I was a baby sub like this,

1229
00:43:45,844 --> 00:43:46,985
I would be

1230
00:43:47,859 --> 00:43:49,699
looking for I would be trying to figure

1231
00:43:49,699 --> 00:43:51,539
out for myself what I want from a

1232
00:43:51,539 --> 00:43:54,579
dom. Like, how much power, control, and or

1233
00:43:54,579 --> 00:43:56,679
guidance? What appeals to me

1234
00:43:57,139 --> 00:43:58,039
from a dom?

1235
00:43:58,420 --> 00:43:58,920
And

1236
00:43:59,460 --> 00:44:02,199
then you're looking for somebody who is respectful,

1237
00:44:02,820 --> 00:44:06,364
who is emotionally intelligent and or working on

1238
00:44:06,364 --> 00:44:06,864
it,

1239
00:44:08,284 --> 00:44:11,425
will can communicate or will attempt to communicate.

1240
00:44:11,885 --> 00:44:13,105
You're looking for

1241
00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,985
somebody who understands both the responsibility

1242
00:44:17,005 --> 00:44:18,545
of and privilege

1243
00:44:18,969 --> 00:44:21,369
of getting to be somebody's dominant. Yeah. You

1244
00:44:21,369 --> 00:44:23,630
know? Those are the things you're looking for.

1245
00:44:23,849 --> 00:44:25,690
The the why do you want control? Why

1246
00:44:25,690 --> 00:44:27,130
do you want guidance? Well, guess what? Why

1247
00:44:27,130 --> 00:44:28,809
do you oh, I'm sorry. Hit the microphone.

1248
00:44:28,809 --> 00:44:30,489
The question that could be asked and is

1249
00:44:30,489 --> 00:44:32,170
asked of submissives. Well, why do you wanna

1250
00:44:32,170 --> 00:44:34,784
submit? What's your motivation for that?

1251
00:44:36,065 --> 00:44:38,144
That's as varied as there are people Right.

1252
00:44:38,224 --> 00:44:39,284
To a certain extent.

1253
00:44:39,585 --> 00:44:41,125
Because it's a different experience

1254
00:44:41,505 --> 00:44:42,804
for everyone. Mhmm.

1255
00:44:43,184 --> 00:44:43,684
Mhmm.

1256
00:44:45,424 --> 00:44:46,644
So, yeah. I think

1257
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,239
when you're looking for new doms in the

1258
00:44:50,239 --> 00:44:50,739
future,

1259
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,760
you're not looking for what their motivations are.

1260
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:54,739
You're looking for

1261
00:44:55,519 --> 00:44:57,519
the type of dominant who will likely be

1262
00:44:57,519 --> 00:44:58,800
able to give you what you're looking for

1263
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,480
as a submissive, and then you're looking at

1264
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:00,675
how

1265
00:45:01,315 --> 00:45:02,855
they behave as a human.

1266
00:45:03,474 --> 00:45:03,974
Yeah.

1267
00:45:04,275 --> 00:45:05,875
And some of those things are skills that

1268
00:45:05,875 --> 00:45:07,715
are learned over time. We none of us

1269
00:45:07,715 --> 00:45:09,414
pop out of the womb with good communication

1270
00:45:09,635 --> 00:45:10,135
skills.

1271
00:45:10,675 --> 00:45:12,515
None of us, sadly, pop out of the

1272
00:45:12,515 --> 00:45:14,054
womb with emotional intelligence,

1273
00:45:14,869 --> 00:45:17,030
The ability to emotionally regulate. The be able

1274
00:45:17,190 --> 00:45:19,829
the ability to name emotions. The ability to

1275
00:45:19,829 --> 00:45:22,150
recognize that you are feeling them. When we're

1276
00:45:22,150 --> 00:45:24,789
talking to cis men, the ability to understand

1277
00:45:24,789 --> 00:45:27,224
that, you can have emotions other than anger.

1278
00:45:27,704 --> 00:45:29,485
There are more acceptable emotions

1279
00:45:29,785 --> 00:45:32,445
than anger. And that anger is an emotion.

1280
00:45:32,505 --> 00:45:35,385
Yes. That is correct. Right? Like, the and

1281
00:45:35,385 --> 00:45:38,425
the the respect and the humility, and there's

1282
00:45:38,425 --> 00:45:38,925
just

1283
00:45:39,385 --> 00:45:41,940
that's what you're looking for. Yeah. Because then

1284
00:45:41,940 --> 00:45:44,039
you can ask them if you want,

1285
00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:45,940
why do you like to be a dom?

1286
00:45:45,940 --> 00:45:48,099
Why is this because some people are gonna

1287
00:45:48,099 --> 00:45:49,699
go, it's an innate part of me. It's

1288
00:45:49,859 --> 00:45:52,340
I like having the control. I like being

1289
00:45:52,340 --> 00:45:54,659
in charge. I like the power. It's who

1290
00:45:54,659 --> 00:45:55,719
I am. Right.

1291
00:45:57,034 --> 00:45:57,534
But,

1292
00:45:58,714 --> 00:46:01,434
yeah, that that dude was a sexual predator.

1293
00:46:01,434 --> 00:46:04,174
That's that's what that dude original dude was.

1294
00:46:04,315 --> 00:46:06,574
Anything else you would like to add? Okay.

1295
00:46:10,954 --> 00:46:11,730
I'm not actually

1296
00:46:12,769 --> 00:46:15,030
answering the question that is being asked here.

1297
00:46:16,449 --> 00:46:18,369
I guess content warning for a lot of

1298
00:46:18,369 --> 00:46:20,789
pee and poop talk in this next one.

1299
00:46:21,409 --> 00:46:23,170
I have a different take, though, than the

1300
00:46:23,170 --> 00:46:25,005
question being asked. So I'm curious if you

1301
00:46:25,005 --> 00:46:25,505
have

1302
00:46:25,964 --> 00:46:27,264
what your take will be.

1303
00:46:27,804 --> 00:46:31,344
Am I overthinking this, or does my girlfriend

1304
00:46:31,565 --> 00:46:32,864
have a toilet kink?

1305
00:46:34,204 --> 00:46:36,605
Podcast listeners, if you can see JB's face.

1306
00:46:36,605 --> 00:46:37,105
Okay.

1307
00:46:38,030 --> 00:46:40,670
Me, 26, and my girlfriend, 28, have been

1308
00:46:40,670 --> 00:46:42,130
together for seven years

1309
00:46:43,230 --> 00:46:45,710
and living together for four. I was always

1310
00:46:45,710 --> 00:46:47,469
the more kinky one and even though she's

1311
00:46:47,469 --> 00:46:49,089
happy to indulge in my kinks,

1312
00:46:49,630 --> 00:46:51,309
she always claimed she has none of her

1313
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:54,295
own. She's also very insecure and shy when

1314
00:46:54,295 --> 00:46:56,775
talking about sex. She also said talking or

1315
00:46:56,775 --> 00:46:59,015
discussing sex is a turn off for her

1316
00:46:59,015 --> 00:47:01,575
because it ruins the surprise factor when she

1317
00:47:01,575 --> 00:47:02,954
expects something to happen.

1318
00:47:03,255 --> 00:47:04,695
Most of the things we do are done

1319
00:47:04,695 --> 00:47:06,375
in the heat of the moment while we

1320
00:47:06,375 --> 00:47:07,170
are having sex.

1321
00:47:08,210 --> 00:47:10,230
Anyway, a few weeks ago, I was showering

1322
00:47:10,369 --> 00:47:11,969
and she needed to use the bathroom so

1323
00:47:11,969 --> 00:47:13,989
she came in. She sat down to pee,

1324
00:47:14,130 --> 00:47:15,809
then looked at me and asked if I

1325
00:47:15,809 --> 00:47:17,650
would mind or feel grossed out if she

1326
00:47:17,650 --> 00:47:18,710
pooped as well.

1327
00:47:19,010 --> 00:47:20,369
I told her to do her thing and

1328
00:47:20,369 --> 00:47:22,484
that nothing she does could gross me out.

1329
00:47:22,484 --> 00:47:24,164
She giggled and then did it while I

1330
00:47:24,164 --> 00:47:26,164
was showering. She finished around the time I

1331
00:47:26,164 --> 00:47:26,744
got out.

1332
00:47:27,045 --> 00:47:28,085
As soon as I got out of the

1333
00:47:28,085 --> 00:47:29,924
shower, she approached me and started making out

1334
00:47:29,924 --> 00:47:32,744
with me very passionately while clearly horny.

1335
00:47:33,125 --> 00:47:35,284
Usually, I'm the one who initiates like that

1336
00:47:35,284 --> 00:47:36,984
so it felt a little out of character.

1337
00:47:37,550 --> 00:47:39,309
The next morning, I was still half asleep

1338
00:47:39,309 --> 00:47:40,510
when she got up and went to the

1339
00:47:40,510 --> 00:47:42,109
bathroom. She came back and we cuddled a

1340
00:47:42,109 --> 00:47:44,429
bit before starting foreplay and making out. We

1341
00:47:44,429 --> 00:47:45,949
took our clothes off and the first thing

1342
00:47:45,949 --> 00:47:47,550
she did was ask me to eat her

1343
00:47:47,550 --> 00:47:50,234
ass. She never asks for that, especially not

1344
00:47:50,234 --> 00:47:52,234
right after using the bathroom. It was in

1345
00:47:52,234 --> 00:47:53,755
the heat of the moment so I did,

1346
00:47:53,755 --> 00:47:55,454
not really thinking about it till later.

1347
00:47:55,914 --> 00:47:57,674
A few days after that, I needed something

1348
00:47:57,674 --> 00:47:59,275
from the bathroom. I opened the door without

1349
00:47:59,275 --> 00:48:00,635
knowing she was in there sitting on the

1350
00:48:00,635 --> 00:48:02,154
toilet. I asked if I could come in

1351
00:48:02,154 --> 00:48:03,869
quickly to grab it and she said sure.

1352
00:48:04,110 --> 00:48:05,710
But she told me to pinch my nose

1353
00:48:05,710 --> 00:48:07,710
because it stinks. As a joke, I took

1354
00:48:07,710 --> 00:48:09,309
a deep sniff. I was still far away

1355
00:48:09,309 --> 00:48:10,769
so I didn't really smell anything.

1356
00:48:11,070 --> 00:48:13,070
She started laughing and asked how I'm not

1357
00:48:13,070 --> 00:48:15,150
grossed out and said most men will be

1358
00:48:15,150 --> 00:48:16,210
turned off instantly.

1359
00:48:16,590 --> 00:48:18,190
I told her she's too attractive for me

1360
00:48:18,190 --> 00:48:19,844
to find her gross and left the bathroom.

1361
00:48:20,244 --> 00:48:21,844
As I was closing the door, I heard

1362
00:48:21,844 --> 00:48:23,525
her say come back in here. I walk

1363
00:48:23,525 --> 00:48:25,525
in, she was still on the toilet and

1364
00:48:25,525 --> 00:48:27,445
leaned forward with her eyes closed like she

1365
00:48:27,445 --> 00:48:29,284
wanted a kiss. I went for the kiss

1366
00:48:29,284 --> 00:48:30,965
and she pulled me closer, put my hands

1367
00:48:31,045 --> 00:48:32,724
put my hands on her thighs and we

1368
00:48:32,724 --> 00:48:34,980
started making out again. That also felt out

1369
00:48:34,980 --> 00:48:36,420
of character, but I did not think much

1370
00:48:36,420 --> 00:48:37,480
of it at the time.

1371
00:48:37,780 --> 00:48:40,019
After that day, she started using toilet humor

1372
00:48:40,019 --> 00:48:42,179
a lot more. Almost every day, she mentioned

1373
00:48:42,179 --> 00:48:43,960
something about peeing or pooping

1374
00:48:44,260 --> 00:48:45,960
on me or in my mouth.

1375
00:48:47,054 --> 00:48:49,054
Sometimes it feels like a joke, sometimes it

1376
00:48:49,054 --> 00:48:50,675
feels very casual and random.

1377
00:48:51,214 --> 00:48:52,815
Recently I was on my laptop in the

1378
00:48:52,815 --> 00:48:54,574
living room when she walked in and randomly

1379
00:48:54,574 --> 00:48:55,934
asked, would you let me poop in your

1380
00:48:55,934 --> 00:48:56,434
mouth?

1381
00:48:57,375 --> 00:48:59,295
I was completely caught off guard and was

1382
00:48:59,295 --> 00:49:01,394
not sure if it was a genuine question.

1383
00:49:01,700 --> 00:49:04,340
I think I replied something like asking if

1384
00:49:04,340 --> 00:49:06,680
that's what she wants for real for real?

1385
00:49:07,059 --> 00:49:08,820
She started laughing and said I was supposed

1386
00:49:08,820 --> 00:49:10,440
to say ew and that's gross.

1387
00:49:10,820 --> 00:49:12,099
I told her I was not sure if

1388
00:49:12,099 --> 00:49:13,539
she was serious and that I did not

1389
00:49:13,539 --> 00:49:15,539
want to kink shame, but that I doubt

1390
00:49:15,539 --> 00:49:16,994
I could ever do that. She said she

1391
00:49:16,994 --> 00:49:18,994
was just joking and dropped it. Am I

1392
00:49:18,994 --> 00:49:20,594
crazy to think she might be hinting at

1393
00:49:20,594 --> 00:49:22,914
a toilet related kink or is this just

1394
00:49:22,914 --> 00:49:24,994
joking around? I have asked her again if

1395
00:49:24,994 --> 00:49:26,835
she has some hidden kinks and she is

1396
00:49:26,835 --> 00:49:28,594
quick to say she has none. Am I

1397
00:49:28,594 --> 00:49:30,430
reading too much into it? Sorry for the

1398
00:49:30,430 --> 00:49:31,250
long post.

1399
00:49:33,390 --> 00:49:33,890
Okay.

1400
00:49:34,829 --> 00:49:37,489
Your kinks not my kinks, but I know.

1401
00:49:38,349 --> 00:49:39,809
When I read this,

1402
00:49:40,989 --> 00:49:43,230
my mind did not go to my I

1403
00:49:43,230 --> 00:49:44,894
had a completely different take that has nothing

1404
00:49:44,894 --> 00:49:47,075
to do with body fluids and toilets.

1405
00:49:47,535 --> 00:49:48,035
Okay.

1406
00:49:48,414 --> 00:49:51,315
I retin it, and this is me inserting

1407
00:49:51,375 --> 00:49:53,695
myself and my and my personal experience with

1408
00:49:53,695 --> 00:49:55,235
other people, blah blah blah.

1409
00:49:56,099 --> 00:49:58,099
But I took this I was like, I

1410
00:49:58,099 --> 00:49:59,460
don't I don't know. It could be a

1411
00:49:59,460 --> 00:50:00,200
toilet kink.

1412
00:50:00,820 --> 00:50:02,579
Your kinks not my kink, all that good

1413
00:50:02,579 --> 00:50:03,079
stuff.

1414
00:50:04,019 --> 00:50:05,880
But here's how I read this.

1415
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:07,400
This is a person

1416
00:50:08,019 --> 00:50:08,519
who

1417
00:50:09,045 --> 00:50:11,125
doesn't like to talk about sex, is very

1418
00:50:11,125 --> 00:50:12,744
shy, is very insecure,

1419
00:50:14,244 --> 00:50:14,984
and yet

1420
00:50:16,484 --> 00:50:18,724
did what some in that position would call

1421
00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:20,699
a very daring thing to go to the

1422
00:50:20,780 --> 00:50:22,539
bathroom in front of their partner. To do

1423
00:50:22,539 --> 00:50:25,519
one. One and two. Okay? Now as somebody

1424
00:50:25,820 --> 00:50:27,519
who was raised shy,

1425
00:50:28,460 --> 00:50:30,079
maybe less that, but insecure,

1426
00:50:30,780 --> 00:50:32,859
did not talk about sex, couldn't didn't know

1427
00:50:32,859 --> 00:50:33,679
where to start,

1428
00:50:34,780 --> 00:50:35,679
some of that

1429
00:50:36,085 --> 00:50:38,724
in your upbringing for some of us comes

1430
00:50:38,724 --> 00:50:40,804
with a lot of shame about body and

1431
00:50:40,804 --> 00:50:42,344
body functions because sex

1432
00:50:43,045 --> 00:50:45,925
is a function that a body is typically

1433
00:50:45,925 --> 00:50:46,985
capable. Right?

1434
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:50,719
And so the way my brain read this

1435
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,679
is she did the daring thing, air quote

1436
00:50:53,679 --> 00:50:54,179
that,

1437
00:50:54,639 --> 00:50:55,139
of

1438
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:57,699
taking a shit in front of her partner,

1439
00:50:57,920 --> 00:50:59,380
and it worked out well.

1440
00:50:59,760 --> 00:51:02,079
Mhmm. And so now there's this little bit

1441
00:51:02,079 --> 00:51:03,304
of confidence

1442
00:51:04,964 --> 00:51:06,744
that she did this thing that

1443
00:51:07,445 --> 00:51:09,204
I mean, for Mhmm. Even if you're not

1444
00:51:09,204 --> 00:51:10,964
kinky, can be considered taboo to take a

1445
00:51:10,964 --> 00:51:12,505
shit in front of somebody else.

1446
00:51:12,804 --> 00:51:15,625
And he didn't reject her. Mhmm. And he

1447
00:51:16,250 --> 00:51:17,929
indulges her. So, yeah, I'll kiss you while

1448
00:51:17,929 --> 00:51:19,530
you're sitting on the toilet. I'll make out

1449
00:51:19,530 --> 00:51:21,609
with you here. I'll tease you and joke

1450
00:51:21,609 --> 00:51:22,829
with you about this.

1451
00:51:23,530 --> 00:51:25,449
Now I'm not saying she doesn't still maybe

1452
00:51:25,449 --> 00:51:27,289
have a kink about it. Right. I'm not

1453
00:51:27,289 --> 00:51:29,054
saying that because to ask could I poop

1454
00:51:29,054 --> 00:51:30,655
in your mouth, that was either a very

1455
00:51:30,655 --> 00:51:31,795
intrusive thought

1456
00:51:32,574 --> 00:51:33,074
or

1457
00:51:33,375 --> 00:51:34,034
something else.

1458
00:51:34,335 --> 00:51:34,574
Yeah.

1459
00:51:36,094 --> 00:51:38,094
But the the fact that you could be

1460
00:51:38,094 --> 00:51:39,695
that shy and insecure and not wanna talk

1461
00:51:39,695 --> 00:51:41,775
about sex and that ruins the surprise, I

1462
00:51:41,775 --> 00:51:43,795
recognize myself in that statement.

1463
00:51:44,199 --> 00:51:45,320
I a 100%

1464
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,160
thought the same things at a time in

1465
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:48,280
my life where I didn't know what I

1466
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:49,719
wanted sexually, would have told you I didn't

1467
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:51,980
have any kinks, didn't know how to talk

1468
00:51:52,519 --> 00:51:54,440
about any of it, and do not come

1469
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:56,119
in and walk in on me in the

1470
00:51:56,119 --> 00:51:57,614
bathroom ever, ever, ever.

1471
00:51:58,175 --> 00:51:59,295
Look. We do

1472
00:52:00,574 --> 00:52:02,195
we pee in front of one another.

1473
00:52:03,215 --> 00:52:04,815
Full disclosure, we do not take shits in

1474
00:52:04,815 --> 00:52:06,574
front. That's the last frontier, and it's like,

1475
00:52:06,574 --> 00:52:08,175
look. Look. I've given up a lot of

1476
00:52:08,175 --> 00:52:09,855
privacy in my life, especially as a a

1477
00:52:09,855 --> 00:52:10,320
parent.

1478
00:52:11,199 --> 00:52:12,579
That is when I want privacy.

1479
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:13,380
But

1480
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,000
I can say this because I'm ridiculous and

1481
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,619
I put too much information on the Internet.

1482
00:52:18,079 --> 00:52:18,739
In my

1483
00:52:19,039 --> 00:52:20,099
prior relationships

1484
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:20,980
Mhmm.

1485
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:24,480
I I was not plucking a chin hair

1486
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:26,864
in front of that person. I did not

1487
00:52:27,325 --> 00:52:30,065
have a body that did weird body things

1488
00:52:30,125 --> 00:52:33,085
that another person was allowed to see. And

1489
00:52:33,085 --> 00:52:34,305
some of that is about

1490
00:52:34,844 --> 00:52:35,344
insecurities

1491
00:52:35,805 --> 00:52:37,405
and not being able to talk about that

1492
00:52:37,405 --> 00:52:39,644
stuff. I am projecting a shit ton. I

1493
00:52:39,644 --> 00:52:41,809
understand this, But that is how where my

1494
00:52:41,809 --> 00:52:42,550
brain went.

1495
00:52:43,170 --> 00:52:45,890
Did she find comfort in doing this taboo

1496
00:52:45,890 --> 00:52:47,969
thing, air quote that, in the bathroom, and

1497
00:52:47,969 --> 00:52:49,890
she got love and acceptance for it. Mhmm.

1498
00:52:49,890 --> 00:52:51,909
And so now we've got a positive association

1499
00:52:52,050 --> 00:52:53,890
with doing the scary thing. It hasn't moved

1500
00:52:53,890 --> 00:52:55,590
out to sex yet. Yeah.

1501
00:52:56,445 --> 00:52:58,684
Other than the, you know, eat my ass

1502
00:52:58,684 --> 00:52:59,744
part. Right? Right?

1503
00:53:00,204 --> 00:53:02,045
I'm I'm very grateful that we did not

1504
00:53:02,045 --> 00:53:04,125
get commentary on what it's like to eat

1505
00:53:04,125 --> 00:53:05,825
ass after somebody's gone to the bathroom.

1506
00:53:06,525 --> 00:53:09,485
I got enough of imagination. Thanks. Yeah. But

1507
00:53:09,485 --> 00:53:12,420
that's that's what I what struck me. That's

1508
00:53:12,420 --> 00:53:13,480
where my mind went.

1509
00:53:13,780 --> 00:53:14,280
Okay.

1510
00:53:15,699 --> 00:53:16,440
I'm just

1511
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,639
Yeah. I mean, it you know, it's

1512
00:53:22,659 --> 00:53:24,980
definitely a kink. I I I mean, yeah.

1513
00:53:24,980 --> 00:53:25,480
I

1514
00:53:25,859 --> 00:53:27,255
I know it's a kink other people have.

1515
00:53:27,255 --> 00:53:29,414
Yeah. It's likely a kink she has, but

1516
00:53:29,414 --> 00:53:31,655
I just I I'm just thinking of it

1517
00:53:31,655 --> 00:53:33,255
from that very beginning of she doesn't talk

1518
00:53:33,255 --> 00:53:34,954
about sex. Mhmm. Insecure,

1519
00:53:35,255 --> 00:53:35,755
shy,

1520
00:53:36,775 --> 00:53:38,635
that that wants to be surprised. I just

1521
00:53:39,734 --> 00:53:40,234
yeah.

1522
00:53:41,529 --> 00:53:43,849
Not all people who who would have that

1523
00:53:43,849 --> 00:53:45,869
similar thing, but I think

1524
00:53:47,369 --> 00:53:49,549
many maybe? Some definitely.

1525
00:53:50,089 --> 00:53:51,690
You're not gonna see me in the bathroom.

1526
00:53:51,690 --> 00:53:54,170
I you don't listen to it. Don't be

1527
00:53:54,170 --> 00:53:56,355
near it. I can't admit that my body

1528
00:53:56,355 --> 00:53:58,594
does a thing that every body does. You

1529
00:53:58,594 --> 00:54:00,054
know what I mean? Like, there's

1530
00:54:00,994 --> 00:54:01,974
when there is

1531
00:54:03,235 --> 00:54:04,215
learned or

1532
00:54:05,554 --> 00:54:07,074
what I don't know another way you would

1533
00:54:07,074 --> 00:54:10,135
do is a learned shame about sex

1534
00:54:10,889 --> 00:54:13,150
and anything and anything related to your body

1535
00:54:13,929 --> 00:54:15,069
and body functions,

1536
00:54:15,929 --> 00:54:18,170
I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I think

1537
00:54:18,170 --> 00:54:20,089
she realized she could be accepted and do

1538
00:54:20,089 --> 00:54:22,269
this very taboo thing. Maybe. Maybe. And the

1539
00:54:22,269 --> 00:54:23,755
acceptance and the acceptance and the fact that

1540
00:54:23,755 --> 00:54:25,114
he's like, there's nothing you could do. Because

1541
00:54:25,114 --> 00:54:26,795
here's the thing. You tell me there's nothing

1542
00:54:26,795 --> 00:54:27,914
you could do that gross me out. You're

1543
00:54:27,994 --> 00:54:29,355
I I like you too much. You're too

1544
00:54:29,355 --> 00:54:29,855
attractive.

1545
00:54:30,394 --> 00:54:32,315
I I accept you completely as you are.

1546
00:54:32,315 --> 00:54:34,735
I'm sorry. I get horny from that shit.

1547
00:54:34,954 --> 00:54:36,414
Full fucking acceptance

1548
00:54:36,715 --> 00:54:38,175
even at, like, what

1549
00:54:38,820 --> 00:54:41,400
some people might go my grossest point.

1550
00:54:41,940 --> 00:54:44,180
Yeah. Yeah. I just I don't know. I'm

1551
00:54:44,180 --> 00:54:45,880
projecting, but I'm just saying.

1552
00:54:46,820 --> 00:54:47,640
I'm just saying.

1553
00:54:48,340 --> 00:54:50,260
But also, yeah, probably a kink, but I

1554
00:54:50,260 --> 00:54:50,420
just

1555
00:54:51,140 --> 00:54:51,640
okay.

1556
00:54:52,180 --> 00:54:54,099
I am I apologize for all the poop

1557
00:54:54,099 --> 00:54:54,375
talk

1558
00:54:55,414 --> 00:54:57,034
in this episode. Okay.

1559
00:54:58,135 --> 00:54:59,655
Here's the one that I just I read

1560
00:54:59,655 --> 00:55:01,275
it and I was like, ugh. So,

1561
00:55:02,695 --> 00:55:05,175
is this normal dom behavior or am I

1562
00:55:05,175 --> 00:55:06,389
expecting too much?

1563
00:55:07,269 --> 00:55:09,670
I, female 21, have been in a DS

1564
00:55:09,670 --> 00:55:12,150
relationship for three years now and I've done

1565
00:55:12,150 --> 00:55:14,710
absolutely everything I can to be the sub

1566
00:55:14,710 --> 00:55:16,730
he, male 29,

1567
00:55:17,510 --> 00:55:20,329
wants, even doing things that were extremely painful

1568
00:55:20,549 --> 00:55:22,994
that I didn't really want to do. I'm

1569
00:55:22,994 --> 00:55:24,755
very attached to him and it hurts because

1570
00:55:24,755 --> 00:55:26,775
I really don't think my feelings are reciprocated.

1571
00:55:27,635 --> 00:55:29,875
Our last scene was pretty rough and afterwards

1572
00:55:29,875 --> 00:55:31,474
he just sat on the opposite end of

1573
00:55:31,474 --> 00:55:33,474
the couch. We talked for maybe five minutes

1574
00:55:33,474 --> 00:55:35,315
before he decided to take a call with

1575
00:55:35,315 --> 00:55:37,739
his friend that lasted thirty minutes while he

1576
00:55:37,739 --> 00:55:40,300
drank and smoked without offering me anything all

1577
00:55:40,300 --> 00:55:43,119
while knowing how much I love Intox Play.

1578
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:45,019
It's not the first time he's done something

1579
00:55:45,019 --> 00:55:46,940
like that, but what honestly hurts the most

1580
00:55:46,940 --> 00:55:49,360
is him just leaving me in bed while

1581
00:55:49,420 --> 00:55:51,894
I can't move to go eat without me

1582
00:55:51,894 --> 00:55:53,734
and not even offering me a sip of

1583
00:55:53,734 --> 00:55:56,135
water. I literally had to ask him multiple

1584
00:55:56,135 --> 00:55:58,295
times before he bought me some. As I'm

1585
00:55:58,295 --> 00:56:00,714
typing this out, I'm realizing it's very pathetic

1586
00:56:01,014 --> 00:56:02,609
that I'm still as attached to him as

1587
00:56:02,609 --> 00:56:04,690
I am, but I'm also scared to leave

1588
00:56:04,690 --> 00:56:06,049
because I don't think I would be able

1589
00:56:06,049 --> 00:56:07,809
to find a Dom at all, especially not

1590
00:56:07,809 --> 00:56:09,170
a daddy Dom, which is what I would

1591
00:56:09,170 --> 00:56:10,069
prefer anyway.

1592
00:56:13,009 --> 00:56:15,224
The situation is not funny, but your expression,

1593
00:56:16,964 --> 00:56:18,804
this is the expression I I was expecting

1594
00:56:18,804 --> 00:56:19,944
and I was hoping for.

1595
00:56:20,565 --> 00:56:22,324
Kick kick his ass to the curb. Throw

1596
00:56:22,324 --> 00:56:23,784
the whole Dom away. Yeah.

1597
00:56:24,164 --> 00:56:26,964
No. That's not normal Dombey. It's not responsible

1598
00:56:26,964 --> 00:56:27,150
Dombey.

1599
00:56:27,789 --> 00:56:28,289
No.

1600
00:56:29,389 --> 00:56:31,789
Are there people who label themselves Domino's who

1601
00:56:31,789 --> 00:56:33,710
do shit like this? Way too fucking many.

1602
00:56:33,710 --> 00:56:36,109
Yeah. You are not expecting too much. You

1603
00:56:36,109 --> 00:56:38,670
will find another Dom. Absolutely. It takes a

1604
00:56:38,670 --> 00:56:40,269
while to find the right person for you.

1605
00:56:40,269 --> 00:56:42,864
Always, always kick this motherfucker to the curb.

1606
00:56:42,864 --> 00:56:45,284
Let's point out, they've been together three years.

1607
00:56:45,744 --> 00:56:46,885
She was 18.

1608
00:56:47,664 --> 00:56:49,125
He was 26.

1609
00:56:50,065 --> 00:56:52,545
Now that's not a massive age gap. Mhmm.

1610
00:56:52,545 --> 00:56:53,844
Some people would be like,

1611
00:56:54,304 --> 00:56:54,804
okay.

1612
00:56:57,510 --> 00:56:58,010
But

1613
00:56:58,710 --> 00:56:59,210
but

1614
00:57:00,630 --> 00:57:03,110
there's something in that. You're we're in your

1615
00:57:03,110 --> 00:57:04,950
mid twenties, and you can't even think to

1616
00:57:04,950 --> 00:57:05,450
ask

1617
00:57:05,829 --> 00:57:07,994
the person you're with if they'd like a

1618
00:57:07,994 --> 00:57:09,835
sip of fucking water? Can I get you

1619
00:57:09,835 --> 00:57:12,315
something to eat? I would actually expect that

1620
00:57:12,315 --> 00:57:15,114
behavior from a fellow 18 to 21 year

1621
00:57:15,114 --> 00:57:16,414
old, quite frankly.

1622
00:57:17,994 --> 00:57:19,855
I'm just Yeah. I know. The the

1623
00:57:21,780 --> 00:57:23,380
yeah. I'm not gonna give side eye to

1624
00:57:23,380 --> 00:57:25,300
an 18 and then probably up to a

1625
00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:27,460
21 year old doing power exchange. That's a

1626
00:57:27,460 --> 00:57:30,420
similar enough age range, but think of 18.

1627
00:57:30,420 --> 00:57:32,760
18 is I just graduated high school. Mhmm.

1628
00:57:32,820 --> 00:57:35,144
26 is if assuming I went to college,

1629
00:57:35,144 --> 00:57:36,505
I've been out of college for a couple

1630
00:57:36,505 --> 00:57:38,425
years potentially. I probably have a big boy

1631
00:57:38,425 --> 00:57:38,925
job.

1632
00:57:40,985 --> 00:57:42,844
Why is an 18 year old submissive?

1633
00:57:43,785 --> 00:57:45,144
Now let me say a thing I have

1634
00:57:45,144 --> 00:57:47,144
said many times, and I know it annoys

1635
00:57:47,144 --> 00:57:49,010
the shit out of some people. Once you

1636
00:57:49,010 --> 00:57:50,530
are a legal adult, you get to make

1637
00:57:50,530 --> 00:57:53,809
legal adult decisions even if I or anybody

1638
00:57:53,809 --> 00:57:55,329
else in the world does not think that's

1639
00:57:55,329 --> 00:57:56,869
a great decision. Mhmm.

1640
00:57:58,210 --> 00:57:58,710
So

1641
00:58:00,369 --> 00:58:00,929
it's not

1642
00:58:02,694 --> 00:58:05,974
nope. I wouldn't if if, either of the

1643
00:58:05,974 --> 00:58:07,974
kids at 18 were like, look at my

1644
00:58:07,974 --> 00:58:09,974
26 year old. Here's the thing. Here's why

1645
00:58:09,974 --> 00:58:11,174
I say that. I was 19. He was

1646
00:58:11,174 --> 00:58:13,174
27. I married him, and I divorced his

1647
00:58:13,174 --> 00:58:13,994
fucking ass.

1648
00:58:18,700 --> 00:58:21,340
Not because of behavior exactly like that, but

1649
00:58:21,340 --> 00:58:23,820
that kind of attitude. Yeah. Okay. That kind

1650
00:58:23,820 --> 00:58:24,400
of attitude

1651
00:58:25,099 --> 00:58:25,599
where

1652
00:58:26,380 --> 00:58:28,300
I I'm supposed to care about you. I'm

1653
00:58:28,300 --> 00:58:30,079
supposed to do stuff for you. Everything revolved.

1654
00:58:30,539 --> 00:58:32,755
I was supposed to think about you. Yeah.

1655
00:58:33,135 --> 00:58:35,215
Yeah. So I'm not saying you can't be

1656
00:58:35,215 --> 00:58:37,454
18, the person beats 20. I'm not saying

1657
00:58:37,454 --> 00:58:40,195
that. Right. I'm not saying that. But if

1658
00:58:41,054 --> 00:58:43,215
I'd I give a little bit more side

1659
00:58:43,215 --> 00:58:45,829
eye and power exchange to an age discrepancy

1660
00:58:46,289 --> 00:58:48,610
when one of the partners is literally barely

1661
00:58:48,610 --> 00:58:49,110
legal.

1662
00:58:49,730 --> 00:58:50,230
Because

1663
00:58:51,650 --> 00:58:53,730
even if they've lived a hard life and

1664
00:58:53,730 --> 00:58:55,489
learned some hard life lessons and had to

1665
00:58:55,489 --> 00:58:57,430
mature way too fucking fast,

1666
00:58:57,809 --> 00:59:00,105
as it happens to a lot kids, that's

1667
00:59:00,105 --> 00:59:03,324
still too fucking young, in my personal opinion,

1668
00:59:04,105 --> 00:59:06,425
for a several years older person to go,

1669
00:59:06,425 --> 00:59:09,164
I'll dom you. Mhmm. Because here they are

1670
00:59:09,304 --> 00:59:12,125
now going, I'll never find another dom. Yeah.

1671
00:59:12,184 --> 00:59:13,469
Who put that thought in their head? Did

1672
00:59:13,469 --> 00:59:15,789
they come up with that? Yeah. Or have

1673
00:59:15,789 --> 00:59:18,610
they been sold a load of bullshit? Right?

1674
00:59:18,909 --> 00:59:20,989
I you know, am I am I am

1675
00:59:20,989 --> 00:59:23,010
I do I want too much

1676
00:59:24,030 --> 00:59:25,889
for him to be nice to you?

1677
00:59:26,349 --> 00:59:27,614
For For him to think of you as

1678
00:59:27,614 --> 00:59:28,974
a human and go, would you like to

1679
00:59:28,974 --> 00:59:30,974
eat something? Can I can I get you

1680
00:59:30,974 --> 00:59:31,715
some water?

1681
00:59:32,255 --> 00:59:33,934
Yeah. I'm I mean, I'm sorry that, you

1682
00:59:33,934 --> 00:59:35,295
know, he's he's not

1683
00:59:36,414 --> 00:59:38,275
Throw the whole fucking Dom away. Yeah.

1684
00:59:39,934 --> 00:59:40,829
Yeah. Is the

1685
00:59:41,550 --> 00:59:43,970
is this normal dom behavior? Here's the thing.

1686
00:59:44,670 --> 00:59:45,570
It's normal

1687
00:59:45,869 --> 00:59:49,309
fake ass, shit ass, abusive ass dom behavior.

1688
00:59:49,309 --> 00:59:51,230
Yeah. This is a lot how like how

1689
00:59:51,230 --> 00:59:51,470
they

1690
00:59:52,030 --> 00:59:53,570
Mhmm. They behave.

1691
00:59:54,025 --> 00:59:54,525
Yeah.

1692
00:59:54,824 --> 00:59:56,684
If it's the dom that needs to

1693
00:59:57,784 --> 00:59:58,764
be thrown away

1694
00:59:59,704 --> 01:00:00,605
in the dumpster,

1695
01:00:01,144 --> 01:00:03,625
yeah, that's normal, but that's not right. None

1696
01:00:03,625 --> 01:00:05,965
of that's right. No. And

1697
01:00:06,505 --> 01:00:09,550
please expect too much. Please have fucking high

1698
01:00:09,550 --> 01:00:12,429
expectations. Not everybody will meet your high expectations,

1699
01:00:12,429 --> 01:00:13,650
but somebody will.

1700
01:00:14,269 --> 01:00:16,829
And, ideally, now we've got a situation where

1701
01:00:16,829 --> 01:00:17,650
it's a partnership

1702
01:00:18,030 --> 01:00:20,130
and everybody's getting their needs fucking met.

1703
01:00:21,045 --> 01:00:23,565
And not being left in a situation where

1704
01:00:23,565 --> 01:00:25,764
it sounds like subspace so out of it,

1705
01:00:25,764 --> 01:00:28,964
they can't move. Right. And that motherfucker leaves

1706
01:00:28,964 --> 01:00:31,704
to go get food. Yeah. And then doesn't

1707
01:00:31,764 --> 01:00:34,964
bring any back. The cardinal fucking sick That's

1708
01:00:34,964 --> 01:00:36,505
wild. Of the whole goddamn

1709
01:00:37,619 --> 01:00:38,440
thing. Yeah.

1710
01:00:38,980 --> 01:00:40,119
I wouldn't like

1711
01:00:40,579 --> 01:00:43,299
it from a a person if if even

1712
01:00:43,299 --> 01:00:45,299
if they were 21, I'd go, who raised

1713
01:00:45,299 --> 01:00:46,440
you? Jesus Christ.

1714
01:00:46,819 --> 01:00:47,319
But

1715
01:00:47,780 --> 01:00:49,940
you're a you're like an adult adult. You

1716
01:00:49,940 --> 01:00:50,304
can get car insurance and you could rent

1717
01:00:50,304 --> 01:00:50,446
a car now. You're an adult adult. You

1718
01:00:50,446 --> 01:00:51,545
can't be a mom and dad. Now.

1719
01:00:52,005 --> 01:00:52,505
You're

1720
01:00:52,964 --> 01:00:55,125
an adult adult. You can't be on mom

1721
01:00:55,125 --> 01:00:55,864
and dad's insurance

1722
01:00:56,244 --> 01:00:58,344
name. Adult adult at mid twenties.

1723
01:00:58,804 --> 01:01:01,144
What the actual fuck? I know.

1724
01:01:01,684 --> 01:01:03,650
How much advantage have you taken of this

1725
01:01:03,650 --> 01:01:06,369
very young person who might not have quite

1726
01:01:06,369 --> 01:01:09,349
enough lived experience to, like, be asking questions?

1727
01:01:09,410 --> 01:01:11,489
And that's what Tayshoo said in the live

1728
01:01:11,489 --> 01:01:11,989
chat.

1729
01:01:12,690 --> 01:01:15,010
You know, yeah. The age gap really isn't

1730
01:01:15,010 --> 01:01:18,675
that much, but the experience gap. Yep. Yep.

1731
01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:21,875
Yeah. Is massive. And, as somebody who has

1732
01:01:21,875 --> 01:01:23,414
a child who will turn 18

1733
01:01:24,195 --> 01:01:26,195
as they start their senior year of high

1734
01:01:26,195 --> 01:01:28,454
school, the number don't mean shit.

1735
01:01:29,075 --> 01:01:31,155
Legally, yes, it does. Mhmm. And I'd still

1736
01:01:31,155 --> 01:01:33,420
say adult, legal adults get to make legal

1737
01:01:33,420 --> 01:01:34,239
adult decisions.

1738
01:01:34,940 --> 01:01:36,940
But this is one of those where, um-mm,

1739
01:01:36,940 --> 01:01:39,739
um-mm, I it just feels like that lack

1740
01:01:39,739 --> 01:01:42,300
of experience was taken advantage of by somebody

1741
01:01:42,300 --> 01:01:44,954
who wants the fun, air quote, fun of

1742
01:01:44,954 --> 01:01:46,335
being a dog. Not the responsibility.

1743
01:01:46,715 --> 01:01:48,015
None of the fucking responsibility.

1744
01:01:49,035 --> 01:01:51,035
Yep. Can't even get her some fucking feet

1745
01:01:51,035 --> 01:01:52,815
in a glass of water. Hard water.

1746
01:01:53,275 --> 01:01:54,954
Oh my god. Oh my and how long

1747
01:01:54,954 --> 01:01:56,474
has she been putting up with it? Yeah.

1748
01:01:56,474 --> 01:01:57,914
How long has this been going on? Was

1749
01:01:57,914 --> 01:01:59,980
there the honeymoon period in the beginning where

1750
01:01:59,980 --> 01:02:02,380
it was all great and then it tapered

1751
01:02:02,380 --> 01:02:04,699
off? Tapered off, ma'am. Or is this how

1752
01:02:04,699 --> 01:02:06,219
it's been the whole time? And then I

1753
01:02:06,219 --> 01:02:07,119
am so

1754
01:02:08,460 --> 01:02:10,380
sad for her. This is what it's been

1755
01:02:10,380 --> 01:02:13,180
the whole fucking time. The whole time. The

1756
01:02:13,180 --> 01:02:13,724
whole time.

1757
01:02:14,925 --> 01:02:17,005
I hope not. I hope I hope it

1758
01:02:17,005 --> 01:02:17,825
was at least

1759
01:02:18,285 --> 01:02:20,125
good at some point so she knows what

1760
01:02:20,125 --> 01:02:21,585
the hell good feels like.

1761
01:02:23,644 --> 01:02:25,805
Look. At 16, I'm at a 21 year

1762
01:02:25,805 --> 01:02:26,305
old.

1763
01:02:27,489 --> 01:02:29,410
And at the time I thought my parents

1764
01:02:29,410 --> 01:02:30,610
just don't get me and they never want

1765
01:02:30,610 --> 01:02:32,930
me to be happy, but my father ran

1766
01:02:32,930 --> 01:02:34,789
that 21 year old off.

1767
01:02:36,450 --> 01:02:37,349
I get it.

1768
01:02:38,050 --> 01:02:39,164
I support it.

1769
01:02:40,285 --> 01:02:42,844
Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah. It's

1770
01:02:42,844 --> 01:02:44,925
not it's the age. It's just the the

1771
01:02:44,925 --> 01:02:46,844
thing you see. It's the experience gap, because

1772
01:02:46,844 --> 01:02:48,385
all I could think is eight 18?

1773
01:02:48,684 --> 01:02:49,425
And look,

1774
01:02:49,724 --> 01:02:51,719
I've we were there the day a person

1775
01:02:51,719 --> 01:02:53,400
had just turned 18 and walked into their

1776
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:54,920
first month. Like, yeah. I've been learning about

1777
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:56,679
this, but, you know, I know it wasn't

1778
01:02:56,679 --> 01:02:58,599
supposed to because yeah. Yeah. We get that.

1779
01:02:58,599 --> 01:03:01,340
We get that people under the legal age

1780
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:02,460
of consent

1781
01:03:02,920 --> 01:03:05,320
or just the legal age to, like, vote

1782
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:05,980
or anything

1783
01:03:06,440 --> 01:03:08,505
make They they go and they learn about

1784
01:03:08,505 --> 01:03:10,184
things and they do shit with people who

1785
01:03:10,184 --> 01:03:12,364
are probably also underage with them.

1786
01:03:13,545 --> 01:03:15,545
And as as a parent, I'm gonna be

1787
01:03:15,545 --> 01:03:17,704
like, I don't approve. There's some danger there.

1788
01:03:17,704 --> 01:03:20,045
There's some risk there. What are we doing?

1789
01:03:20,344 --> 01:03:20,844
But

1790
01:03:22,779 --> 01:03:25,579
even at 18, there's there's just a life

1791
01:03:25,579 --> 01:03:28,059
experience to not have yet, let alone the

1792
01:03:28,059 --> 01:03:29,760
kink experience. I just

1793
01:03:34,805 --> 01:03:36,585
Throw the whole motherfucker away. Yep.

1794
01:03:37,285 --> 01:03:39,305
Okay. That was the last one. K.

1795
01:03:40,724 --> 01:03:42,325
Those weren't longer than I thought they would.

1796
01:03:42,325 --> 01:03:42,825
Mhmm.

1797
01:03:44,325 --> 01:03:44,825
I

1798
01:03:45,204 --> 01:03:47,224
I think this might be

1799
01:03:47,605 --> 01:03:50,489
the first loving BDSM podcast episode

1800
01:03:50,869 --> 01:03:53,110
where I not only said poop once, I

1801
01:03:53,110 --> 01:03:55,190
certainly said it more times than I've ever.

1802
01:03:55,190 --> 01:03:56,789
That's not a thing I talk about. It

1803
01:03:56,789 --> 01:03:58,650
is my last frontier of privacy.

1804
01:03:59,190 --> 01:04:00,869
I didn't like it when I don't like

1805
01:04:00,869 --> 01:04:02,275
it when the cat looks at me and

1806
01:04:02,275 --> 01:04:03,954
is there. I'm like, Onyx, do you have

1807
01:04:03,954 --> 01:04:05,175
something else to do?

1808
01:04:07,235 --> 01:04:07,715
Anyway

1809
01:04:08,594 --> 01:04:08,914
So,

1810
01:04:09,394 --> 01:04:10,215
are we good?

1811
01:04:13,155 --> 01:04:14,675
I don't know. That's not for me to

1812
01:04:14,675 --> 01:04:15,175
say.

1813
01:04:17,010 --> 01:04:18,690
Keep it kinky, y'all. I will see you

1814
01:04:18,690 --> 01:04:19,349
next week.

1815
01:04:29,650 --> 01:04:30,789
Yes, baby girl.

1816
01:04:31,434 --> 01:04:33,434
Can I talk to the crickets? Yeah. What

1817
01:04:33,434 --> 01:04:35,275
was I gonna bitch about? I said, I'll

1818
01:04:35,275 --> 01:04:36,635
bitch about this and the one and I

1819
01:04:36,635 --> 01:04:38,315
don't remember what it was. I don't remember.

1820
01:04:38,315 --> 01:04:40,574
I I said a keyword. Does anybody remember?

1821
01:04:40,795 --> 01:04:42,174
Somebody in the live chat.

1822
01:04:43,034 --> 01:04:45,454
Probably silent who's got a really good memory.

1823
01:04:46,394 --> 01:04:47,889
I will be right back. Okay. You're gonna

1824
01:04:47,889 --> 01:04:49,250
go check on your dog who was howling

1825
01:04:49,250 --> 01:04:51,829
while I was reading the the poop one?

1826
01:04:52,369 --> 01:04:54,210
Now that I've look. I've broken my own

1827
01:04:54,210 --> 01:04:56,070
personal taboo. Now that I've said it once

1828
01:04:56,610 --> 01:04:58,530
slash a dozen times, I guess I can

1829
01:04:58,530 --> 01:04:59,429
keep saying it.

1830
01:05:00,289 --> 01:05:02,824
You know how there's some words that some

1831
01:05:02,824 --> 01:05:04,984
people just really don't like to say, to

1832
01:05:04,984 --> 01:05:06,045
hear, to read?

1833
01:05:07,224 --> 01:05:08,905
I'm so sorry for anybody who doesn't like

1834
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:11,085
this word, but the common one is moist.

1835
01:05:12,264 --> 01:05:14,264
Moist isn't my favorite, but I don't have

1836
01:05:14,264 --> 01:05:15,405
like an ick thing.

1837
01:05:16,744 --> 01:05:17,405
The word?

1838
01:05:17,989 --> 01:05:19,530
There's a reason I say shit

1839
01:05:19,909 --> 01:05:20,409
instead

1840
01:05:20,869 --> 01:05:23,190
of poop because I don't like that word.

1841
01:05:23,190 --> 01:05:25,289
I don't like that word at all.

1842
01:05:26,630 --> 01:05:28,650
Donation button. Well, thank you Silent.

1843
01:05:29,829 --> 01:05:31,577
I have to wait for him get back

1844
01:05:31,577 --> 01:05:34,106
on camera so I can go off camera

1845
01:05:34,106 --> 01:05:36,636
or all you're gonna do is look at

1846
01:05:36,636 --> 01:05:39,481
our mics and our arrow formation that once

1847
01:05:39,481 --> 01:05:42,327
I found out somebody saw that in, one

1848
01:05:42,327 --> 01:05:44,480
of the virtual summits we participated in. I

1849
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:45,859
can't unsee it.

1850
01:05:46,159 --> 01:05:46,659
There's

1851
01:05:47,359 --> 01:05:49,280
podcast listeners, you'd have to come to the

1852
01:05:49,280 --> 01:05:49,780
video,

1853
01:05:50,239 --> 01:05:51,380
but in between

1854
01:05:52,719 --> 01:05:54,559
on the wall and our mics, there's a

1855
01:05:54,559 --> 01:05:55,605
position in our background.

1856
01:05:59,204 --> 01:06:00,885
I can say working in the shop. Holy

1857
01:06:00,885 --> 01:06:02,804
shit. I haven't been working working in the

1858
01:06:02,804 --> 01:06:03,304
shop.

1859
01:06:03,844 --> 01:06:04,344
I

1860
01:06:05,284 --> 01:06:06,965
that was actually what I did for my

1861
01:06:06,965 --> 01:06:09,539
full workday on Monday was work in the

1862
01:06:09,760 --> 01:06:11,279
shop. I had we have a brand new

1863
01:06:11,279 --> 01:06:13,920
product that has one last finishing touch to

1864
01:06:13,920 --> 01:06:15,539
go on it and I can release it.

1865
01:06:15,839 --> 01:06:17,619
It is my favorite new toy.

1866
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:21,460
I was finishing

1867
01:06:21,824 --> 01:06:24,405
my part of that. I was drilling

1868
01:06:24,704 --> 01:06:28,065
holes in things so that JB can turn

1869
01:06:28,065 --> 01:06:30,724
evil stick handles and diabolical stick handles.

1870
01:06:31,425 --> 01:06:34,224
I was getting d twenties ready for to

1871
01:06:34,224 --> 01:06:36,545
go with those diabolical stick handles once they're

1872
01:06:36,545 --> 01:06:37,045
turned.

1873
01:06:39,550 --> 01:06:41,789
Did something else. I glued up some knives.

1874
01:06:41,789 --> 01:06:44,109
I did the I was covered in wood

1875
01:06:44,109 --> 01:06:45,730
glue by the time we got done.

1876
01:06:50,030 --> 01:06:50,349
So

1877
01:06:52,304 --> 01:06:53,125
Yeah. I,

1878
01:06:55,664 --> 01:06:57,905
it was a long day. And then once

1879
01:06:57,905 --> 01:06:58,724
I came inside,

1880
01:06:59,025 --> 01:07:01,105
I still had to do I had to

1881
01:07:01,105 --> 01:07:02,244
do both like

1882
01:07:02,784 --> 01:07:05,025
work stuff, admin stuff at my desk, and

1883
01:07:05,025 --> 01:07:06,565
then I also had to do mom

1884
01:07:07,025 --> 01:07:09,559
stuff at my desk, helping both kids with

1885
01:07:09,559 --> 01:07:12,539
money stuff and sign up stuff and scholarship

1886
01:07:12,599 --> 01:07:14,840
stuff and do this before this date stuff.

1887
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:15,739
And it was like,

1888
01:07:16,280 --> 01:07:17,179
oh my god.

1889
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:21,320
So yeah. Yesterday was a long day. And

1890
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:23,385
then today I was out in the shop

1891
01:07:23,625 --> 01:07:25,005
working again on the d20s.

1892
01:07:25,945 --> 01:07:28,425
I always have respect for other makers because

1893
01:07:28,425 --> 01:07:30,264
just knowing what it takes to make the

1894
01:07:30,264 --> 01:07:31,704
stuff we make, I just I have a

1895
01:07:31,704 --> 01:07:34,105
lot of of respect for people who make

1896
01:07:34,105 --> 01:07:35,164
shit by hand.

1897
01:07:36,184 --> 01:07:38,045
I have so much

1898
01:07:38,505 --> 01:07:41,610
respect for people who make dice sets.

1899
01:07:42,949 --> 01:07:44,789
All we're doing right now is d twenties

1900
01:07:44,789 --> 01:07:46,010
and these fuckers

1901
01:07:46,469 --> 01:07:48,390
kick my ass. It's not the pouring of

1902
01:07:48,390 --> 01:07:50,309
the resin. That's easy. That's we got a

1903
01:07:50,309 --> 01:07:51,929
pressure pot. Done.

1904
01:07:52,375 --> 01:07:53,114
It's the

1905
01:07:53,815 --> 01:07:55,735
flooding the numbers so they're visible and the

1906
01:07:55,735 --> 01:07:57,755
finishing and the making sure oh my god.

1907
01:07:57,974 --> 01:07:58,795
I'm tired.

1908
01:07:59,494 --> 01:07:59,994
So

1909
01:08:00,375 --> 01:08:01,974
Andre says I'm still not seeing the donation

1910
01:08:01,974 --> 01:08:03,414
button. That's because I have not gone off

1911
01:08:03,414 --> 01:08:05,159
screen to go off camera, I mean, to

1912
01:08:05,159 --> 01:08:06,539
go push a button.

1913
01:08:07,239 --> 01:08:09,400
Now that you're back Yeah. I told them

1914
01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:11,159
about my boring but tiring day in the

1915
01:08:11,159 --> 01:08:13,000
shop yesterday. I'm gonna go off camera to

1916
01:08:13,000 --> 01:08:14,599
push some buttons. That's right. You need to

1917
01:08:14,599 --> 01:08:16,199
go push the button. Silent reminder me. Thank

1918
01:08:16,199 --> 01:08:17,100
you, Scott. Okay.

1919
01:08:19,185 --> 01:08:20,804
You got the hiccups. Yep.

1920
01:08:21,425 --> 01:08:22,404
So anyway,

1921
01:08:23,344 --> 01:08:24,484
Lola was fine.

1922
01:08:25,425 --> 01:08:27,764
Actually, I think she was, there was

1923
01:08:28,225 --> 01:08:30,244
a delivery made while we were

1924
01:08:30,545 --> 01:08:32,625
sitting back here. Oh, cool. I think I

1925
01:08:32,625 --> 01:08:34,489
know what that delivery is. Mhmm.

1926
01:08:34,829 --> 01:08:35,329
Mhmm.

1927
01:08:35,670 --> 01:08:36,170
So,

1928
01:08:36,630 --> 01:08:37,130
yeah.

1929
01:08:37,989 --> 01:08:38,489
But,

1930
01:08:39,270 --> 01:08:41,350
yeah. No. I'm I'm real me, I'm real

1931
01:08:41,350 --> 01:08:42,329
happy with this,

1932
01:08:42,949 --> 01:08:44,489
with the new machine here

1933
01:08:44,949 --> 01:08:45,770
with the computer.

1934
01:08:46,795 --> 01:08:47,295
It,

1935
01:08:47,675 --> 01:08:49,854
definitely bigger hard bigger hard drive,

1936
01:08:50,555 --> 01:08:52,654
more memory, bigger graphics card.

1937
01:08:53,194 --> 01:08:53,515
So,

1938
01:08:54,074 --> 01:08:54,895
yeah. Looking

1939
01:08:55,914 --> 01:08:57,835
looking forward to it and it's been it's

1940
01:08:57,835 --> 01:08:59,614
been really nice. Very happy.

1941
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:00,500
So

1942
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:04,500
oh, hang on. I can't see anything.

1943
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:06,239
Where's the

1944
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:10,159
that's what I need. Okay. I added the

1945
01:09:10,159 --> 01:09:11,300
donation button.

1946
01:09:12,159 --> 01:09:15,155
I clicked the button. Mhmm. For anybody who's

1947
01:09:15,155 --> 01:09:16,375
watching the livestream

1948
01:09:17,475 --> 01:09:19,315
to be able to see the donation button

1949
01:09:19,315 --> 01:09:22,034
on YouTube, you might have to refresh. Silent

1950
01:09:22,034 --> 01:09:23,875
says she can see it. Cool. But if

1951
01:09:23,875 --> 01:09:25,155
you don't see it, you might have to

1952
01:09:25,155 --> 01:09:27,235
refresh. I also put it on our last

1953
01:09:27,235 --> 01:09:28,295
video for Monday.

1954
01:09:30,529 --> 01:09:33,489
I checked, when I was pushing buttons off

1955
01:09:33,489 --> 01:09:36,369
camera. We our goal is $250.

1956
01:09:36,369 --> 01:09:39,010
Mhmm. We've already raised a $171.

1957
01:09:39,010 --> 01:09:41,029
Nice. Thank y'all to everybody who's donated.

1958
01:09:43,194 --> 01:09:43,694
Nice.

1959
01:09:44,234 --> 01:09:44,734
Yeah.

1960
01:09:45,675 --> 01:09:47,914
We're supposed to have a Valentine's Day sale

1961
01:09:47,914 --> 01:09:49,854
soon. We've already talked about it.

1962
01:09:50,795 --> 01:09:51,935
We're gonna donate

1963
01:09:52,555 --> 01:09:54,635
some amount, I don't know yet, we haven't

1964
01:09:54,635 --> 01:09:57,529
discussed that part, of the total sales, not

1965
01:09:57,529 --> 01:10:00,109
the profit, the total revenue from the sale,

1966
01:10:00,250 --> 01:10:03,369
some percentage of that to campaign for Southern

1967
01:10:03,369 --> 01:10:05,769
Equality as well. That's like our chair our

1968
01:10:05,769 --> 01:10:08,429
our organization of choice for fundraising.

1969
01:10:09,769 --> 01:10:11,149
When we did it for

1970
01:10:11,609 --> 01:10:13,664
point was it's Point of Pride Yeah. Is

1971
01:10:13,664 --> 01:10:15,524
the organization there. They

1972
01:10:17,185 --> 01:10:20,064
give grants to trans people for different parts

1973
01:10:20,064 --> 01:10:21,045
of their transition,

1974
01:10:21,425 --> 01:10:21,925
surgical,

1975
01:10:22,625 --> 01:10:23,125
medical,

1976
01:10:23,984 --> 01:10:24,804
and social,

1977
01:10:25,585 --> 01:10:26,085
transition.

1978
01:10:27,310 --> 01:10:29,310
We did that with a sale last year.

1979
01:10:29,310 --> 01:10:30,930
Was it was it during pride?

1980
01:10:31,470 --> 01:10:33,869
Yes. And we ended up with the sales

1981
01:10:33,869 --> 01:10:35,070
that we had come in. It was, like,

1982
01:10:35,070 --> 01:10:36,989
a few days sale. It wasn't terribly long.

1983
01:10:36,989 --> 01:10:38,030
Like, $300.

1984
01:10:38,030 --> 01:10:39,250
Yeah. So that was cool.

1985
01:10:40,030 --> 01:10:40,484
Yep.

1986
01:10:40,885 --> 01:10:42,645
And we can't do that without people wanting

1987
01:10:42,645 --> 01:10:44,965
to buy our shit. So True. And we've

1988
01:10:45,604 --> 01:10:47,125
the economy being what it is, we really

1989
01:10:47,125 --> 01:10:48,585
need people to buy our shit.

1990
01:10:49,444 --> 01:10:51,125
I mean, I'm sitting here .com. I'm I'm

1991
01:10:51,125 --> 01:10:52,645
sitting here and I'm looking at what's on

1992
01:10:52,645 --> 01:10:54,324
your desk, and I'm thinking, my god. That

1993
01:10:54,324 --> 01:10:55,385
wood looks beautiful.

1994
01:10:56,149 --> 01:10:57,750
Oh, you've been called to tease by the

1995
01:10:57,750 --> 01:11:00,229
live chat. I'm sorry, podcast listeners. We're always

1996
01:11:00,229 --> 01:11:02,229
teasing you by talking about visual things that

1997
01:11:02,229 --> 01:11:04,729
you cannot see because you're only listening.

1998
01:11:05,750 --> 01:11:06,250
So

1999
01:11:06,710 --> 01:11:08,710
but JB is now going to show off

2000
01:11:08,710 --> 01:11:10,389
my new favorite toy. It has a name.

2001
01:11:10,389 --> 01:11:12,304
We've already named it. I named it before

2002
01:11:12,304 --> 01:11:13,925
JB ever even made them.

2003
01:11:14,704 --> 01:11:16,225
Because this has been, what, a two year

2004
01:11:16,225 --> 01:11:18,625
long project? Kind of. Not that it took

2005
01:11:18,625 --> 01:11:20,145
two years to make them. It took two

2006
01:11:20,145 --> 01:11:21,984
years to get to the point where we

2007
01:11:21,984 --> 01:11:24,064
were like, yeah. Let's do this. And by

2008
01:11:24,064 --> 01:11:25,489
we, I mean JP, but that's okay. I'm

2009
01:11:25,489 --> 01:11:28,310
supportive. It's it's we. But I've been

2010
01:11:28,690 --> 01:11:31,250
cheerleading these this fucking toy You have been.

2011
01:11:31,329 --> 01:11:34,310
Since then. Been on the fence. Yep.

2012
01:11:35,570 --> 01:11:37,729
But you're not anymore. No. It's called a

2013
01:11:37,729 --> 01:11:38,564
Thumper. Yep.

2014
01:11:39,844 --> 01:11:42,244
It is a thuddy toy. It is a

2015
01:11:42,244 --> 01:11:43,784
quiet toy. Toy.

2016
01:11:44,164 --> 01:11:46,185
I'm gonna create a section on the Kinkery's

2017
01:11:46,244 --> 01:11:48,564
website about which toys are quiet because that

2018
01:11:48,564 --> 01:11:49,704
is such an issue.

2019
01:11:50,244 --> 01:11:51,685
I don't know how to describe it. It's

2020
01:11:51,685 --> 01:11:53,305
baton like, I will say.

2021
01:11:56,329 --> 01:11:56,829
There's

2022
01:11:57,770 --> 01:12:00,170
why is the word not for kink reasons.

2023
01:12:00,170 --> 01:12:01,850
Why is the word beater coming to me

2024
01:12:01,850 --> 01:12:04,430
as a as a noun, not an adjective,

2025
01:12:04,970 --> 01:12:05,869
not an action?

2026
01:12:06,489 --> 01:12:07,630
Yes. It's a beater.

2027
01:12:09,704 --> 01:12:11,224
Oh my gosh. Oh, you mean, like, for

2028
01:12:11,224 --> 01:12:12,284
doing the rugs?

2029
01:12:12,824 --> 01:12:14,984
Is that what you meant? No. No. Not

2030
01:12:14,984 --> 01:12:16,824
me. I don't wanna say who I was

2031
01:12:16,824 --> 01:12:18,824
thinking of because it is from She Who

2032
01:12:18,824 --> 01:12:21,085
Will Not Be Named because she's a rabid

2033
01:12:21,145 --> 01:12:21,645
transphobe.

2034
01:12:23,224 --> 01:12:23,724
But

2035
01:12:24,469 --> 01:12:26,810
that Oh, okay. That game

2036
01:12:27,270 --> 01:12:28,710
in the air on brooms that they just

2037
01:12:28,949 --> 01:12:30,710
Yeah. Yeah. Allowed an 11 year old to

2038
01:12:30,710 --> 01:12:31,850
get up there and, you know,

2039
01:12:32,469 --> 01:12:33,289
be the best

2040
01:12:34,390 --> 01:12:36,710
whatever in a generation or some bullshit. You're

2041
01:12:36,710 --> 01:12:38,710
you're pointed at that. You're not pointed at

2042
01:12:38,710 --> 01:12:40,625
any of my childhood shit. So I know.

2043
01:12:40,625 --> 01:12:43,265
It's not even my childhood shit. It's the

2044
01:12:43,265 --> 01:12:44,244
kids' childhood

2045
01:12:44,704 --> 01:12:45,364
shit. I

2046
01:12:46,225 --> 01:12:46,725
know.

2047
01:12:48,064 --> 01:12:49,385
I was reading one of the books while

2048
01:12:49,385 --> 01:12:50,944
I was actively in labor with a 20

2049
01:12:50,944 --> 01:12:52,944
year old. Did I know I was actively

2050
01:12:52,944 --> 01:12:54,239
in labor? No. Had no fucking

2051
01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:58,800
clue. So naive. But anyway yeah. It's called

2052
01:12:58,800 --> 01:13:00,020
the Thumper. Mhmm.

2053
01:13:00,880 --> 01:13:01,380
And,

2054
01:13:02,880 --> 01:13:05,460
did JB find a way to make it

2055
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:06,420
stingy?

2056
01:13:06,960 --> 01:13:09,039
Yeah. Of course he fucking did. But if

2057
01:13:09,039 --> 01:13:11,814
you use it like you would immediately imagine

2058
01:13:11,814 --> 01:13:13,835
you'd use it, it's a very thuddy toy.

2059
01:13:15,414 --> 01:13:17,655
It is my favorite now Yeah. Of all

2060
01:13:17,814 --> 01:13:19,175
I'm well, I we've got some I really

2061
01:13:19,175 --> 01:13:21,175
fucking love. That this one's my new favorite.

2062
01:13:21,175 --> 01:13:23,335
Yeah. This one's moved right to the top

2063
01:13:23,335 --> 01:13:24,555
of your list. Mhmm.

2064
01:13:25,095 --> 01:13:26,659
For podcast listeners, it's cylindrical.

2065
01:13:27,119 --> 01:13:30,100
Mhmm. It's about what? 12 inches Yeah. Approximately?

2066
01:13:30,239 --> 01:13:33,039
Mhmm. The handle is about five inches of

2067
01:13:33,039 --> 01:13:36,000
it. It's slightly indented, but still cylindrical. And

2068
01:13:36,000 --> 01:13:37,280
then the part that is the

2069
01:13:37,920 --> 01:13:39,920
I can't call I I'm gonna say paddle

2070
01:13:39,920 --> 01:13:42,474
area, but it's not flat. It's round.

2071
01:13:42,774 --> 01:13:44,774
That's about seven inches long. It's what's the

2072
01:13:44,774 --> 01:13:45,835
diameter of that?

2073
01:13:46,215 --> 01:13:46,954
Two inches?

2074
01:13:47,414 --> 01:13:48,635
Maybe. An inch and a half?

2075
01:13:49,895 --> 01:13:50,395
So

2076
01:13:51,574 --> 01:13:53,414
silence says it looks like a pestle. Pest

2077
01:13:53,494 --> 01:13:56,539
pestle? Pestle? Pestle. Pestle. Mhmm. It does. A

2078
01:13:56,539 --> 01:13:57,359
giant one.

2079
01:13:57,739 --> 01:13:58,560
It feels

2080
01:13:59,340 --> 01:14:01,659
really fucking good. I know. You'd love the

2081
01:14:01,659 --> 01:14:02,960
stupid thing. I love this thing.

2082
01:14:03,819 --> 01:14:05,180
When I pick it up at night, you

2083
01:14:05,180 --> 01:14:06,375
just you're just like

2084
01:14:06,854 --> 01:14:09,015
I know. I'm like, okay. Until you figured

2085
01:14:09,015 --> 01:14:10,614
out how to hit it and make it

2086
01:14:10,614 --> 01:14:12,875
sting. That I didn't I didn't love that.

2087
01:14:14,774 --> 01:14:16,234
Which here's this is

2088
01:14:17,095 --> 01:14:19,414
anybody who, like, makes shit and then sells

2089
01:14:19,414 --> 01:14:21,194
it probably has this experience.

2090
01:14:21,869 --> 01:14:24,110
I fucking love this thing so nobody else

2091
01:14:24,110 --> 01:14:25,470
is gonna like it. It will not become

2092
01:14:25,470 --> 01:14:26,050
a bestseller.

2093
01:14:27,310 --> 01:14:29,229
When I fucking love it and I think,

2094
01:14:29,229 --> 01:14:30,530
oh, this is brilliant.

2095
01:14:32,189 --> 01:14:32,689
Nope.

2096
01:14:33,310 --> 01:14:33,810
Nope.

2097
01:14:34,314 --> 01:14:35,135
When I'm like,

2098
01:14:35,675 --> 01:14:37,755
I wouldn't use that, that's what flies off

2099
01:14:37,755 --> 01:14:38,654
the damn show.

2100
01:14:40,154 --> 01:14:40,954
So yeah.

2101
01:14:41,434 --> 01:14:43,835
We gotta finish up at the at the

2102
01:14:43,835 --> 01:14:45,534
bottom at the very base.

2103
01:14:45,994 --> 01:14:48,840
Jibby's gotta put the these little eye hooks

2104
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:50,280
in so we can put a cord on

2105
01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:53,159
it so you can dangle it. In case

2106
01:14:53,159 --> 01:14:54,280
you asked when it's available.

2107
01:14:55,159 --> 01:14:55,979
Soon ish.

2108
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,079
It's all in her hands now. You gotta

2109
01:14:59,079 --> 01:14:59,979
do this part.

2110
01:15:00,594 --> 01:15:02,675
Well, yeah. There's a little part you gotta

2111
01:15:02,675 --> 01:15:05,954
do. I know and I overthink when to

2112
01:15:05,954 --> 01:15:08,114
release stuff and when to do sales because

2113
01:15:08,114 --> 01:15:09,875
I'm not gonna have a Valentine's Day sale

2114
01:15:09,875 --> 01:15:12,435
on Valentine's Day. That doesn't help anybody who

2115
01:15:12,435 --> 01:15:13,814
needs their shit shipped,

2116
01:15:14,280 --> 01:15:16,280
But I'm also not gonna do a Valentine's

2117
01:15:16,280 --> 01:15:17,020
Day sale,

2118
01:15:17,560 --> 01:15:20,840
when we're not as, stocked as we could

2119
01:15:20,840 --> 01:15:23,819
be. We're supposed to be doing a drop

2120
01:15:24,359 --> 01:15:26,944
of Diabolical Sticks on February 6. That's this

2121
01:15:26,944 --> 01:15:29,345
coming Friday. For podcast listeners, it's the day

2122
01:15:29,345 --> 01:15:31,425
this episode goes live. It will be a

2123
01:15:31,425 --> 01:15:33,824
smaller drop than we originally planned, but we

2124
01:15:33,824 --> 01:15:36,064
have another one already planned for March that

2125
01:15:36,064 --> 01:15:38,145
will hopefully be bigger, will be in our

2126
01:15:38,145 --> 01:15:39,125
routine by then.

2127
01:15:40,305 --> 01:15:43,020
So I'm thinking the sale might start on

2128
01:15:43,020 --> 01:15:44,239
February 6

2129
01:15:45,420 --> 01:15:47,899
and then run for several days into the

2130
01:15:47,899 --> 01:15:49,039
week. I don't know.

2131
01:15:50,539 --> 01:15:53,039
So yeah. There's a little bit of excitement

2132
01:15:53,819 --> 01:15:54,720
in the Yeah.

2133
01:15:55,180 --> 01:15:56,864
Well, could it be that I'm just, like,

2134
01:15:56,945 --> 01:15:58,704
swaying in this thing around? Somebody said it

2135
01:15:58,704 --> 01:16:00,864
looks like a club. Yes. Yes. It definitely

2136
01:16:00,864 --> 01:16:01,364
does.

2137
01:16:03,025 --> 01:16:04,645
Yeah. It is it is quiet.

2138
01:16:05,265 --> 01:16:07,664
We get that question online a lot about

2139
01:16:07,664 --> 01:16:09,585
toys. Do you have a quiet one? Quiet.

2140
01:16:09,585 --> 01:16:11,204
Yeah. And we do, but, typically,

2141
01:16:11,585 --> 01:16:12,539
the quietest toys

2142
01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:15,380
toys are the ones that hurt the most.

2143
01:16:15,380 --> 01:16:16,939
And so I have to tell people, oh,

2144
01:16:16,939 --> 01:16:18,780
nobody's gonna hear you hit them with that

2145
01:16:18,780 --> 01:16:20,380
cane, but then But they're gonna hear you

2146
01:16:20,380 --> 01:16:22,000
yell. They're gonna hear the yell.

2147
01:16:22,859 --> 01:16:25,039
But this one is this one is very

2148
01:16:27,264 --> 01:16:28,244
Yeah. Yeah.

2149
01:16:29,024 --> 01:16:31,664
Yeah. Because even if he, like, goes like

2150
01:16:31,664 --> 01:16:32,724
Louisville Slugger

2151
01:16:33,344 --> 01:16:34,005
on it,

2152
01:16:34,385 --> 01:16:36,385
it's it's not it doesn't have the same

2153
01:16:36,385 --> 01:16:39,505
crack that a flat paddle would. Mhmm. Especially

2154
01:16:41,880 --> 01:16:43,079
when someone asked if we could do a

2155
01:16:43,079 --> 01:16:45,079
demo next Friday at the Hangout. Well, we

2156
01:16:45,079 --> 01:16:46,619
had talked about doing,

2157
01:16:47,079 --> 01:16:49,319
a demos for dollars or dollars for demos,

2158
01:16:49,319 --> 01:16:51,319
demos for whatever. I don't remember even what

2159
01:16:51,319 --> 01:16:53,020
we call it, but it going to

2160
01:16:53,560 --> 01:16:56,094
people not doing it, paying giving us the

2161
01:16:56,094 --> 01:16:58,494
money, them donating to our the charity. Oh,

2162
01:16:58,494 --> 01:17:00,654
that'd be cool. I know. Yeah. So not

2163
01:17:00,654 --> 01:17:03,694
super chats, but donate a dollar, $5, whatever

2164
01:17:03,694 --> 01:17:04,675
you got. Yeah. Yeah.

2165
01:17:05,215 --> 01:17:05,954
Yeah. Hopefully,

2166
01:17:07,054 --> 01:17:08,574
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We could show off

2167
01:17:08,574 --> 01:17:11,400
the diabolical sticks. Mhmm. You we got a

2168
01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:13,239
shit ton of Rough Riders back in stock.

2169
01:17:13,239 --> 01:17:16,220
Holy Terrors are back in stock. Mhmm. Mhmm.

2170
01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:18,220
I've got some pounders on the shelf.

2171
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:20,939
Andre donated to the to our fundraiser.

2172
01:17:21,239 --> 01:17:22,539
Oh, thank you. For their quality.

2173
01:17:25,274 --> 01:17:25,774
And,

2174
01:17:26,475 --> 01:17:28,255
yeah. I've got pounders.

2175
01:17:29,194 --> 01:17:31,354
Coming? Coming on they're on the they're on

2176
01:17:31,354 --> 01:17:32,574
the shelf and

2177
01:17:34,234 --> 01:17:34,734
knives.

2178
01:17:35,289 --> 01:17:37,850
Oh, I he gave me permission to just

2179
01:17:37,850 --> 01:17:39,470
glue up knives Yeah.

2180
01:17:40,090 --> 01:17:41,930
As I could and did. I went, oh,

2181
01:17:41,930 --> 01:17:42,909
don't you worry.

2182
01:17:44,649 --> 01:17:47,310
Demos for donations. Yes. That's good.

2183
01:17:48,010 --> 01:17:48,510
So,

2184
01:17:48,975 --> 01:17:49,475
yeah.

2185
01:17:49,935 --> 01:17:52,255
New Jersey. You you yeah. You loaded me

2186
01:17:52,255 --> 01:17:53,215
up with knives and,

2187
01:17:53,774 --> 01:17:56,335
I started making some different knives Yeah. In

2188
01:17:56,335 --> 01:17:57,475
there too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

2189
01:17:57,854 --> 01:18:00,574
We've been taking custom orders. Yeah. You're finishing

2190
01:18:00,574 --> 01:18:03,645
up a custom knife order Mhmm. That

2191
01:18:04,110 --> 01:18:06,989
the the person sent lots of information about,

2192
01:18:06,989 --> 01:18:08,030
like, this is what I want it to

2193
01:18:08,030 --> 01:18:09,869
look like, but just wood, and it still

2194
01:18:09,869 --> 01:18:10,689
got a

2195
01:18:11,070 --> 01:18:11,810
a point

2196
01:18:12,189 --> 01:18:15,070
a tip that is so sharp. I'm nervous.

2197
01:18:15,070 --> 01:18:16,930
Like, I think it could break skin

2198
01:18:17,664 --> 01:18:19,185
with more force than you need for, like,

2199
01:18:19,185 --> 01:18:20,725
a regular knife. But

2200
01:18:21,905 --> 01:18:22,405
yeah.

2201
01:18:22,784 --> 01:18:25,265
Yeah. And then, if you follow the shop,

2202
01:18:25,265 --> 01:18:26,704
thekinkery.com.

2203
01:18:26,704 --> 01:18:28,625
If you follow the shop on Instagram, we

2204
01:18:28,625 --> 01:18:29,364
just posted,

2205
01:18:30,350 --> 01:18:32,643
a reel of one of the custom extra

2206
01:18:32,643 --> 01:18:36,270
long canes. Cane. That shit's scary. It's quarter

2207
01:18:36,270 --> 01:18:38,590
inch delrin. Now quarter inch delrin's really thin,

2208
01:18:38,590 --> 01:18:41,069
so even at the standard length we do,

2209
01:18:41,069 --> 01:18:43,010
which It's whippy. It's very whippy.

2210
01:18:43,630 --> 01:18:45,925
It's very stingy. I don't like it at

2211
01:18:45,925 --> 01:18:46,425
all,

2212
01:18:47,045 --> 01:18:49,204
which is why everybody fucking loves it because

2213
01:18:49,204 --> 01:18:51,465
I it's a toy I would never. Anyway,

2214
01:18:52,564 --> 01:18:55,064
we had somebody who late last year requested

2215
01:18:55,604 --> 01:18:57,685
a delrin cane in quarter inch, but an

2216
01:18:57,685 --> 01:19:00,779
extra foot longer. So it's this long ass

2217
01:19:00,779 --> 01:19:03,039
piece of Delrin Yeah. With a resin handle,

2218
01:19:03,179 --> 01:19:05,179
and JB starts and you can hear the

2219
01:19:05,179 --> 01:19:08,139
swoosh of the air. Yep. Oh my god.

2220
01:19:08,139 --> 01:19:09,979
Oh my god. But there is a there

2221
01:19:09,979 --> 01:19:12,380
is a reel on our Instagram. Yeah. We

2222
01:19:12,380 --> 01:19:12,880
don't,

2223
01:19:13,564 --> 01:19:15,345
we don't put those reels on Facebook.

2224
01:19:15,885 --> 01:19:17,985
We do have a kinkery Facebook page,

2225
01:19:19,164 --> 01:19:21,185
because even though it's all meta,

2226
01:19:22,524 --> 01:19:23,024
Instagram

2227
01:19:24,125 --> 01:19:26,284
seems to be better at if you block

2228
01:19:26,284 --> 01:19:26,784
somebody,

2229
01:19:27,630 --> 01:19:29,550
they're not they're still not gonna be, like,

2230
01:19:29,550 --> 01:19:31,229
fed up to you. Your picture's not gonna

2231
01:19:31,229 --> 01:19:33,229
show up in their feed. Facebook's not like

2232
01:19:33,229 --> 01:19:34,750
that. You can block people left, right, and

2233
01:19:34,750 --> 01:19:37,649
fucking center, and they'll still be recommended you.

2234
01:19:37,869 --> 01:19:39,789
Yeah. You'll they'll still see something with your

2235
01:19:39,869 --> 01:19:41,070
and we're like, I don't we don't wanna

2236
01:19:41,070 --> 01:19:42,210
put our face on Facebook.

2237
01:19:42,829 --> 01:19:44,185
Pardon the button, I guess.

2238
01:19:45,765 --> 01:19:47,704
So we do it on Instagram. Yeah.

2239
01:19:48,965 --> 01:19:50,725
Silent asked how we ship a cane that

2240
01:19:50,725 --> 01:19:53,204
long. I have to do a special tube

2241
01:19:53,204 --> 01:19:55,284
and they have to if somebody orders that

2242
01:19:55,284 --> 01:19:57,529
custom cane, they have to pay an oversized

2243
01:19:57,829 --> 01:19:58,809
shipping cost.

2244
01:19:59,109 --> 01:20:01,929
I have not tried shipping it, internationally yet.

2245
01:20:02,069 --> 01:20:04,229
This is only the second the extra long

2246
01:20:04,229 --> 01:20:05,909
cane is only the second one we've made.

2247
01:20:05,909 --> 01:20:07,590
I don't know what that shipping would be,

2248
01:20:07,590 --> 01:20:09,510
but I do believe it would be very

2249
01:20:09,510 --> 01:20:09,944
expensive.

2250
01:20:11,145 --> 01:20:12,744
So, yeah, we have to get a special

2251
01:20:12,744 --> 01:20:14,604
container. If Mhmm. We have

2252
01:20:14,984 --> 01:20:17,145
flirted with the idea if that if people

2253
01:20:17,224 --> 01:20:19,244
if we get it what are words? Goddamn.

2254
01:20:20,185 --> 01:20:23,100
If enough people request the extra long cane,

2255
01:20:23,100 --> 01:20:25,199
we might make it a regular item,

2256
01:20:26,939 --> 01:20:28,699
and then I would have to buy in

2257
01:20:28,699 --> 01:20:31,039
bulk the boxes for that. Yeah.

2258
01:20:31,500 --> 01:20:31,820
So

2259
01:20:32,300 --> 01:20:32,800
Yes.

2260
01:20:33,340 --> 01:20:35,180
Yeah. I had to before I could tell

2261
01:20:35,180 --> 01:20:35,680
somebody,

2262
01:20:36,780 --> 01:20:38,645
when they asked for an extra long cane,

2263
01:20:38,645 --> 01:20:39,685
before I could even tell them if we

2264
01:20:39,685 --> 01:20:40,805
could make it, I had to figure out

2265
01:20:40,805 --> 01:20:41,784
how I'd ship it.

2266
01:20:42,485 --> 01:20:43,625
So Yeah.

2267
01:20:44,805 --> 01:20:46,405
Yeah. And so I'm adding one of the

2268
01:20:46,405 --> 01:20:49,284
canes studded, not stingy. Yeah. The three eights

2269
01:20:49,284 --> 01:20:49,765
is,

2270
01:20:50,085 --> 01:20:51,300
it's thicker and,

2271
01:20:52,159 --> 01:20:53,460
it's more thud

2272
01:20:54,079 --> 01:20:56,239
than a quarter inch. You know, nobody's asked

2273
01:20:56,239 --> 01:20:58,719
for it and I have not been brave

2274
01:20:58,719 --> 01:21:00,159
enough to ask you because I don't want

2275
01:21:00,159 --> 01:21:01,600
you to get any ideas, but I guess

2276
01:21:01,600 --> 01:21:02,420
I will now.

2277
01:21:03,604 --> 01:21:06,164
YouTube folks are watching me roll this thumper

2278
01:21:06,164 --> 01:21:07,925
on my cheeks. My cheeks are so fucking

2279
01:21:07,925 --> 01:21:08,425
hot.

2280
01:21:10,085 --> 01:21:12,025
And the wood is very smooth and cold.

2281
01:21:14,645 --> 01:21:17,784
If somebody did an extra long three eighths

2282
01:21:17,899 --> 01:21:19,899
delrin Mhmm. That is not whippy at all.

2283
01:21:19,899 --> 01:21:21,340
There's very little bend to it. At that

2284
01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:23,599
at a longer length, would it be bendier?

2285
01:21:23,739 --> 01:21:25,899
Would it whip? There would there would be

2286
01:21:25,899 --> 01:21:28,219
some. Uh-huh. Not as much as the quarter

2287
01:21:28,219 --> 01:21:30,060
inch. No. The quarter inch. That thing's just

2288
01:21:30,060 --> 01:21:31,784
scary. That thing's fucking scary.

2289
01:21:34,505 --> 01:21:35,485
So yeah.

2290
01:21:36,985 --> 01:21:39,164
Yeah. We got a lot going on. Mhmm.

2291
01:21:41,625 --> 01:21:43,225
Well, it feels I had to I did

2292
01:21:43,225 --> 01:21:44,505
have to take a social a bit of

2293
01:21:44,505 --> 01:21:45,485
a social media,

2294
01:21:46,560 --> 01:21:48,819
current event social media break,

2295
01:21:49,359 --> 01:21:51,139
because I was making myself crazy.

2296
01:21:51,920 --> 01:21:53,699
I do take my own advice on that.

2297
01:21:55,279 --> 01:21:57,060
So I've been watching, like, Bridgerton,

2298
01:21:59,840 --> 01:22:00,340
clips.

2299
01:22:00,994 --> 01:22:02,675
We have not started watching Bridgerton. I would

2300
01:22:02,675 --> 01:22:04,594
like to wait until the February when all

2301
01:22:04,594 --> 01:22:06,614
the episodes are out. Thank you very much.

2302
01:22:06,675 --> 01:22:08,434
Doing the same with The Pit. I've been

2303
01:22:08,434 --> 01:22:11,414
watching clips on Instagram of from The Pit.

2304
01:22:12,354 --> 01:22:14,449
I we're talking about waiting until that's all

2305
01:22:14,449 --> 01:22:15,890
the way out. That's a longer wait because

2306
01:22:15,890 --> 01:22:17,750
that's 15 episodes. I know.

2307
01:22:18,289 --> 01:22:19,989
I do don't mind spoilers.

2308
01:22:22,289 --> 01:22:25,090
I actually kinda like knowing what's gonna happen,

2309
01:22:25,090 --> 01:22:27,010
then I have less anxiety when I'm watching

2310
01:22:27,010 --> 01:22:30,045
high tension moments, high drama moments.

2311
01:22:30,425 --> 01:22:30,925
So

2312
01:22:31,945 --> 01:22:32,604
just whatever.

2313
01:22:32,984 --> 01:22:35,625
Yeah. Lola has thoughts. I you might hear

2314
01:22:35,625 --> 01:22:36,445
her in the background.

2315
01:22:37,945 --> 01:22:39,305
In case you asked if it would hurt

2316
01:22:39,305 --> 01:22:40,845
the wood if it froze it.

2317
01:22:41,864 --> 01:22:42,604
It shouldn't.

2318
01:22:43,199 --> 01:22:44,500
Okay. It shouldn't,

2319
01:22:45,920 --> 01:22:47,760
other than making it cold, give you some,

2320
01:22:47,760 --> 01:22:50,079
you know, little temperature play there, action with

2321
01:22:50,079 --> 01:22:51,300
it. But,

2322
01:22:51,760 --> 01:22:53,680
no. It should not. It shouldn't hurt the

2323
01:22:53,680 --> 01:22:55,680
wood. It's one of those things that if

2324
01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:57,265
you just stick it in and it's fully

2325
01:22:57,265 --> 01:22:58,545
dry and you put in the freezer, you're

2326
01:22:58,545 --> 01:23:00,145
fine. If if it was wet and you

2327
01:23:00,145 --> 01:23:01,824
froze it that way Wet would yeah. That

2328
01:23:01,824 --> 01:23:03,125
would be a problem.

2329
01:23:06,145 --> 01:23:06,645
So

2330
01:23:10,640 --> 01:23:12,399
Silent says we're watching the pit week by

2331
01:23:12,399 --> 01:23:14,079
week and the way they end each episode

2332
01:23:14,079 --> 01:23:16,320
is cruel. That's why I'm not doing it.

2333
01:23:16,320 --> 01:23:18,000
It's the same reason I will not read

2334
01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:20,159
a book series until if I can help

2335
01:23:20,159 --> 01:23:22,320
it, until all the books are out. Because

2336
01:23:22,320 --> 01:23:24,320
I nope. Nope. If I have to have

2337
01:23:24,320 --> 01:23:26,255
a cliffhanger, I need to be able to

2338
01:23:26,255 --> 01:23:27,875
find out what happened next

2339
01:23:28,574 --> 01:23:29,074
immediately.

2340
01:23:29,534 --> 01:23:31,534
I finished a book last night while we

2341
01:23:31,534 --> 01:23:32,515
were laying in bed.

2342
01:23:32,895 --> 01:23:33,475
I had

2343
01:23:33,854 --> 01:23:36,335
a crazy cliffhanger. I immediately went in and

2344
01:23:36,335 --> 01:23:37,395
got book two

2345
01:23:38,015 --> 01:23:38,515
and

2346
01:23:38,949 --> 01:23:40,789
read at least the first chapter to figure

2347
01:23:40,789 --> 01:23:42,329
out how we got out of that situation.

2348
01:23:43,189 --> 01:23:43,430
So

2349
01:23:45,909 --> 01:23:48,310
JB is playing with Lola behind the camera.

2350
01:23:48,310 --> 01:23:50,409
If the camera starts tipping,

2351
01:23:52,494 --> 01:23:53,234
blame him.

2352
01:23:54,814 --> 01:23:56,494
Lola is a dog. She can't be blamed

2353
01:23:56,494 --> 01:23:58,114
for tipping the the tripod.

2354
01:23:59,135 --> 01:24:00,114
So What?

2355
01:24:01,215 --> 01:24:02,914
I mean, she's a smart girl, but

2356
01:24:04,894 --> 01:24:07,079
she does not know what recording equipment is

2357
01:24:07,079 --> 01:24:08,840
nor does she give a fuck. So there's

2358
01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:09,659
that. That is true.

2359
01:24:12,039 --> 01:24:12,539
So,

2360
01:24:14,119 --> 01:24:16,439
Eva asked, what's the pit on HBO Max

2361
01:24:16,439 --> 01:24:18,199
or HBO? Are they back to calling themselves

2362
01:24:18,199 --> 01:24:19,180
HBO again?

2363
01:24:19,864 --> 01:24:21,465
Who the hell knows? They go back and

2364
01:24:21,465 --> 01:24:23,085
forth so many times. That one.

2365
01:24:23,784 --> 01:24:26,104
Last Week with John Oliver comes back on

2366
01:24:26,104 --> 01:24:27,244
February 15.

2367
01:24:27,864 --> 01:24:29,945
Very excited. We do not watch it on

2368
01:24:29,945 --> 01:24:32,719
the days it comes out because they put

2369
01:24:32,719 --> 01:24:34,899
that show out at, like, 11:00 at

2370
01:24:35,439 --> 01:24:37,840
night. I'm not stand I'm not watching it.

2371
01:24:37,840 --> 01:24:39,779
I love John Oliver. I think he's

2372
01:24:40,079 --> 01:24:42,319
brilliant and funny. I'm not watching him at

2373
01:24:42,319 --> 01:24:44,260
11:00 at night on a Sunday.

2374
01:24:44,640 --> 01:24:46,260
We watch it on a Monday.

2375
01:24:47,114 --> 01:24:47,614
Yeah.

2376
01:24:47,994 --> 01:24:50,255
Yeah. Like responsible adults. Mhmm.

2377
01:24:54,635 --> 01:24:55,454
What else?

2378
01:24:57,675 --> 01:24:57,994
Not,

2379
01:24:59,354 --> 01:25:01,869
not a whole lot going on. For anybody

2380
01:25:01,869 --> 01:25:03,470
who can hear because I just I I

2381
01:25:03,470 --> 01:25:05,489
guess I just started Yeah. Stimming.

2382
01:25:05,869 --> 01:25:07,630
Who can hear this tap tap tap, that

2383
01:25:07,630 --> 01:25:09,250
is the thumper on my thigh.

2384
01:25:10,029 --> 01:25:11,470
If you can even hear it, that's how

2385
01:25:11,470 --> 01:25:12,529
quiet it is.

2386
01:25:13,390 --> 01:25:15,069
And oh oh, I might have given my

2387
01:25:15,149 --> 01:25:15,465
I was

2388
01:25:16,264 --> 01:25:17,724
had a little force going there.

2389
01:25:21,864 --> 01:25:23,324
A self beating masochist.

2390
01:25:24,024 --> 01:25:25,724
I mean, if the toy is good enough,

2391
01:25:27,304 --> 01:25:29,324
if the toy is good enough.

2392
01:25:31,224 --> 01:25:31,439
So

2393
01:25:33,119 --> 01:25:33,619
So,

2394
01:25:34,319 --> 01:25:36,319
I would apologize for the chaos of the

2395
01:25:36,319 --> 01:25:38,500
day, but I am trying to embrace reality.

2396
01:25:38,800 --> 01:25:39,300
Yeah.

2397
01:25:39,920 --> 01:25:42,880
Yeah. Embrace what is instead of what I

2398
01:25:42,880 --> 01:25:45,364
wish it could be. You know, folks, I

2399
01:25:45,364 --> 01:25:47,465
I I mentioned this to Caleb today.

2400
01:25:48,484 --> 01:25:50,185
I was so proud of myself

2401
01:25:51,045 --> 01:25:52,645
going into the end of the year through

2402
01:25:52,645 --> 01:25:55,064
the through third quarter, you know, from September

2403
01:25:55,125 --> 01:25:56,425
into all that.

2404
01:25:57,045 --> 01:25:57,545
And,

2405
01:26:00,180 --> 01:26:03,000
I I worked. I kept my shop clean.

2406
01:26:03,779 --> 01:26:05,319
I kept it neat. You did?

2407
01:26:07,140 --> 01:26:10,180
That's gone. Yeah. Yeah. It's chaos in there.

2408
01:26:10,180 --> 01:26:12,439
Yeah. It My desk is chaotic.

2409
01:26:12,755 --> 01:26:15,094
The ship almost threw the thumper. Goddamn.

2410
01:26:16,434 --> 01:26:19,234
The shipping station is chaotic. It's all chaos

2411
01:26:19,234 --> 01:26:20,774
all the time. Yeah. It's

2412
01:26:21,715 --> 01:26:23,234
even You would think we were in the

2413
01:26:23,234 --> 01:26:25,474
Christmas season. That's how bad it is in

2414
01:26:25,474 --> 01:26:25,974
here.

2415
01:26:26,889 --> 01:26:28,909
Andre asked about your wrist.

2416
01:26:29,529 --> 01:26:31,849
Yes. Kayla does need a a fidget toy.

2417
01:26:31,849 --> 01:26:32,889
Silent. That is true.

2418
01:26:33,849 --> 01:26:34,590
My wrist.

2419
01:26:35,529 --> 01:26:37,449
Yeah. You're not wearing your brace today. No.

2420
01:26:37,449 --> 01:26:38,809
I'm not. Is it because the brace just

2421
01:26:38,809 --> 01:26:40,909
doesn't do anything anymore? Yeah. Yeah.

2422
01:26:42,725 --> 01:26:43,225
Yeah.

2423
01:26:45,925 --> 01:26:47,784
For now, everything's up.

2424
01:26:49,685 --> 01:26:52,585
What the, doctor told me after all the,

2425
01:26:54,405 --> 01:26:55,784
x rays and MRI,

2426
01:26:56,689 --> 01:26:59,590
you have severe arthritis in that thumb. Osteoarthritis.

2427
01:27:00,289 --> 01:27:00,789
Yep.

2428
01:27:01,489 --> 01:27:01,989
So

2429
01:27:02,369 --> 01:27:04,130
it's it's gonna be one of those things

2430
01:27:04,130 --> 01:27:06,789
that sometimes it hurts really, really bad,

2431
01:27:07,889 --> 01:27:09,590
and other times it's okay.

2432
01:27:09,969 --> 01:27:11,654
Well, our we're mission right now is to

2433
01:27:11,654 --> 01:27:13,835
find a hand surgeon. Yeah. The hand surgeon,

2434
01:27:14,295 --> 01:27:17,835
we have locally that, the Ortho likes

2435
01:27:18,375 --> 01:27:21,014
is retiring. Yeah. So it looks like we're

2436
01:27:21,014 --> 01:27:23,255
gonna go out of town. I've I pulled

2437
01:27:23,255 --> 01:27:25,050
them up. Y'all don't wanna know how many

2438
01:27:25,050 --> 01:27:26,750
tabs are open also on my phone

2439
01:27:27,130 --> 01:27:28,430
on the browser, but,

2440
01:27:28,970 --> 01:27:30,430
I have that preliminarily

2441
01:27:31,050 --> 01:27:33,050
pulled up with, oh, these people might be

2442
01:27:33,050 --> 01:27:34,250
good. I need to go sit at the

2443
01:27:34,250 --> 01:27:35,070
big screen

2444
01:27:35,530 --> 01:27:36,270
to actually

2445
01:27:36,649 --> 01:27:39,324
like, then I send JB links. And then

2446
01:27:39,324 --> 01:27:40,925
when he doesn't reply to my email or

2447
01:27:40,925 --> 01:27:42,925
acknowledge he got the email, forty eight hours

2448
01:27:42,925 --> 01:27:44,925
later, I'll be like, did you get my

2449
01:27:44,925 --> 01:27:47,024
email? Oh, yeah. I got it. Okay.

2450
01:27:47,405 --> 01:27:49,005
Cool. So what did what did they say?

2451
01:27:49,005 --> 01:27:49,505
The

2452
01:27:50,340 --> 01:27:52,760
first metacarpal joint, I believe it was,

2453
01:27:53,220 --> 01:27:55,380
has no space left in between it anymore.

2454
01:27:55,380 --> 01:27:57,300
Yeah. It's severe enough. She immediately went, oh,

2455
01:27:57,300 --> 01:27:59,800
you're a candidate for hand surgery. Yeah.

2456
01:28:00,340 --> 01:28:02,520
What she said was get somebody who specializes

2457
01:28:02,659 --> 01:28:04,664
in hand surgeries, not somebody who does hands

2458
01:28:04,664 --> 01:28:05,564
and other work.

2459
01:28:05,944 --> 01:28:08,585
Yeah. No. Just hands. Hand surgeon. Mhmm. They

2460
01:28:08,585 --> 01:28:10,685
have them. They have them. They have them.

2461
01:28:11,064 --> 01:28:12,664
Except the best one in the area is

2462
01:28:12,664 --> 01:28:15,565
retiring. Well Apparently. Everybody deserves rest at some

2463
01:28:15,565 --> 01:28:16,585
point. I know. I'm just

2464
01:28:18,104 --> 01:28:18,604
So

2465
01:28:18,984 --> 01:28:19,260
yeah.

2466
01:28:19,819 --> 01:28:22,719
And we're, waiting for that sweet, sweet,

2467
01:28:23,899 --> 01:28:26,219
government health care known as Medicare to kick

2468
01:28:26,219 --> 01:28:28,000
in Yeah. Before

2469
01:28:28,380 --> 01:28:30,300
if we can. If we can. If it's

2470
01:28:30,300 --> 01:28:33,439
fair enough, we whatever. But yeah. There's well,

2471
01:28:33,500 --> 01:28:36,074
you know yeah. Because just considering what our

2472
01:28:36,074 --> 01:28:38,335
insurance has made us pay for the diagnostic

2473
01:28:38,635 --> 01:28:40,875
stuff for you lately, I don't wanna know

2474
01:28:40,875 --> 01:28:42,814
what they make us pay for surgery.

2475
01:28:44,234 --> 01:28:45,454
I don't wanna know.

2476
01:28:46,395 --> 01:28:47,614
Maybe if I threaten

2477
01:28:47,994 --> 01:28:48,750
somebody with

2478
01:28:50,750 --> 01:28:51,390
the thumper, they'll be like, oh. Oh, god.

2479
01:28:51,390 --> 01:28:53,149
I was waving the thumper around. I was

2480
01:28:53,149 --> 01:28:55,069
waggling it around. I'm sorry, podcast listeners. You

2481
01:28:55,069 --> 01:28:56,850
cannot see what I'm doing. And I immediately

2482
01:28:56,989 --> 01:28:58,850
thought of the meme

2483
01:28:59,789 --> 01:29:02,385
of the little girl. She's wearing, like, a

2484
01:29:02,385 --> 01:29:05,125
purple and pink shirt. She's got like a,

2485
01:29:06,704 --> 01:29:09,685
an angry look on her face. Her, like,

2486
01:29:10,064 --> 01:29:12,145
lips all curled up. She's mad, and she's

2487
01:29:12,145 --> 01:29:14,704
like waving something in her hand, and I

2488
01:29:14,704 --> 01:29:15,204
can't

2489
01:29:15,984 --> 01:29:17,649
the first time I did it at JB,

2490
01:29:17,649 --> 01:29:19,829
I was like, I think I'm that meme.

2491
01:29:25,010 --> 01:29:25,510
Look.

2492
01:29:28,449 --> 01:29:30,229
Meme images of

2493
01:29:32,125 --> 01:29:35,725
little girls looking annoyed, disgruntled, or like you're

2494
01:29:35,725 --> 01:29:36,704
the biggest dumbass,

2495
01:29:37,564 --> 01:29:39,164
that was me growing up. That's why I

2496
01:29:39,164 --> 01:29:40,625
got in trouble all the time.

2497
01:29:41,885 --> 01:29:42,204
So

2498
01:29:43,244 --> 01:29:45,150
Right? I was saying I thought that too.

2499
01:29:45,150 --> 01:29:47,070
Silent. Silent. Since that thing kinda makes me

2500
01:29:47,070 --> 01:29:48,510
wanna bake, I bet it's a great rolling

2501
01:29:48,510 --> 01:29:49,010
pin.

2502
01:29:50,030 --> 01:29:51,789
And that's for anybody who needs the trying

2503
01:29:51,789 --> 01:29:54,190
to get the visual. Yeah. It's got rolling

2504
01:29:54,190 --> 01:29:56,210
pin vibes. Mhmm. So

2505
01:29:59,295 --> 01:30:00,654
we had to stop at some point, don't

2506
01:30:00,654 --> 01:30:02,335
we? We know. I mean, I kinda like

2507
01:30:02,335 --> 01:30:04,094
just hanging out, which is why we do

2508
01:30:04,094 --> 01:30:05,795
it once a week. Cool hanging out, but

2509
01:30:07,215 --> 01:30:09,154
Logan's not happy about it.

2510
01:30:09,720 --> 01:30:11,960
She's gonna wanna eat dinner. Ella too. Still

2511
01:30:11,960 --> 01:30:13,720
have, like, another twenty minutes. Not that I'm

2512
01:30:13,720 --> 01:30:15,079
saying we should stay for another twenty minutes.

2513
01:30:15,079 --> 01:30:16,619
I'm just saying they're not starving.

2514
01:30:17,880 --> 01:30:18,780
They're not.

2515
01:30:20,039 --> 01:30:22,845
So No. They're not starving. They're fine.

2516
01:30:23,805 --> 01:30:25,725
And you do her eye drops too. That's

2517
01:30:25,725 --> 01:30:28,045
that's different. That's, you know, you clocking in

2518
01:30:28,045 --> 01:30:29,965
for your full time taking care of Lola

2519
01:30:29,965 --> 01:30:31,345
drops. Yeah. Alright.

2520
01:30:33,244 --> 01:30:35,220
Well, hopefully, when we take her back to

2521
01:30:35,380 --> 01:30:36,920
the eye doctor next Monday

2522
01:30:37,380 --> 01:30:39,560
Won't have to do the The one drop.

2523
01:30:39,619 --> 01:30:40,760
Yeah. Yeah.

2524
01:30:41,699 --> 01:30:43,960
So fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.

2525
01:30:44,739 --> 01:30:45,960
Oh. Mhmm.

2526
01:30:46,739 --> 01:30:47,234
Alright.

2527
01:30:48,034 --> 01:30:50,135
Okay. I think we can say our goodbyes.

2528
01:30:51,795 --> 01:30:53,574
I like hanging out. I know.

2529
01:30:54,194 --> 01:30:54,774
I know.

2530
01:30:55,314 --> 01:30:55,895
I know.

2531
01:31:00,755 --> 01:31:03,500
Anyway, we're gonna go. Yep. Thanks for being

2532
01:31:03,500 --> 01:31:05,739
here. Thanks for listening, watching, especially to the

2533
01:31:05,739 --> 01:31:08,079
bitter end when it gets even weirder.

2534
01:31:09,579 --> 01:31:11,420
Yes. I I could use a fidget of

2535
01:31:11,420 --> 01:31:12,079
some sort.

2536
01:31:12,779 --> 01:31:13,274
There's a reason

2537
01:31:14,154 --> 01:31:15,675
Nobody ever really liked it when I would

2538
01:31:15,675 --> 01:31:17,454
sit at, like, the boardroom chairs,

2539
01:31:18,234 --> 01:31:19,675
in meetings when I had a big girl

2540
01:31:19,675 --> 01:31:21,914
job because was I swiveling the whole fucking

2541
01:31:21,914 --> 01:31:23,375
time? Yes. Apparently, I was.

2542
01:31:24,395 --> 01:31:26,802
So I'm a fidgeter. Anyway, okay. We're gonna

2543
01:31:26,802 --> 01:31:28,929
go Fidgeter from way back. Way back.

2544
01:31:29,229 --> 01:31:30,289
Okay. Alright.

2545
01:31:30,750 --> 01:31:32,750
We're done now, I think. Bye, y'all. Okay.

2546
01:31:32,750 --> 01:31:33,250
Bye.