1 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,199 You're listening to Loving BDSM podcast. Kayla Lords 2 00:00:13,199 --> 00:00:14,580 here with the one, the only, 3 00:00:15,585 --> 00:00:17,844 the guy who gets to record, 4 00:00:18,464 --> 00:00:20,464 content in his slippers, and I love that 5 00:00:20,464 --> 00:00:21,684 for you. John Brownstone. 6 00:00:22,704 --> 00:00:24,345 It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do 7 00:00:24,345 --> 00:00:25,744 it. Somebody's gotta do it. Look. There was 8 00:00:25,744 --> 00:00:27,744 a time we recorded in well, you recorded 9 00:00:27,744 --> 00:00:29,839 in your underwear. That's true. Those days are 10 00:00:29,839 --> 00:00:31,300 over. Days. Damn. 11 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,239 I missed that. Look. I'm pretty sure there 12 00:00:34,239 --> 00:00:36,100 are folks who would pay good money 13 00:00:36,399 --> 00:00:37,380 to watch you 14 00:00:37,759 --> 00:00:39,920 record and talk about kink while in your 15 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:40,420 underwear. 16 00:00:42,104 --> 00:00:44,344 So I'm just saying, the the the door's 17 00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,344 open. You know? The ball is in your 18 00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:48,104 court. How many how many metaphors can I 19 00:00:48,104 --> 00:00:48,844 use here? 20 00:00:52,265 --> 00:00:54,184 We would have to switch the live streams 21 00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:56,960 from YouTube to OnlyFans or some other version. 22 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,020 Yeah. But, yeah, it's it's always an opportunity 23 00:01:00,159 --> 00:01:01,859 that, you know, you're welcome to 24 00:01:02,399 --> 00:01:02,899 explore. 25 00:01:06,479 --> 00:01:06,979 Anyway 26 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:11,045 That's not what we're talking about today. 27 00:01:12,564 --> 00:01:14,965 We got a question from a submissive about 28 00:01:14,965 --> 00:01:17,385 the I can't believe I'm actually saying this. 29 00:01:17,765 --> 00:01:19,224 The financial requirements 30 00:01:19,685 --> 00:01:20,665 to meet a Dom 31 00:01:21,045 --> 00:01:23,144 y'all, I read the question to JB, and 32 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:24,959 his blood pressure spiked, so this will be 33 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:25,459 good. 34 00:01:26,479 --> 00:01:28,959 Hope I'm not overselling it, but he got 35 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:29,459 hot. 36 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:31,540 I can't wait. Anyway, 37 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,400 welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If you're 38 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,859 new here Be careful. It might be anticlimactic. 39 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:37,920 It might be. If you're new here, we 40 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,704 help kinksters like you have happy healthy, power 41 00:01:39,704 --> 00:01:41,944 exchange relationships. Add the podcast to your favorite 42 00:01:41,944 --> 00:01:43,724 podcast app so you never miss an episode. 43 00:01:44,344 --> 00:01:46,025 And if you like what you hear, 44 00:01:46,504 --> 00:01:48,905 and want others to hear more about and, 45 00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:50,665 like, find us and know us and learn 46 00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:51,305 from us, 47 00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:53,189 we would love it if you would rate, 48 00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:56,390 review, however it works on your podcast app 49 00:01:56,390 --> 00:01:57,130 of choice 50 00:01:57,590 --> 00:01:59,590 to let others know that you think we're 51 00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:01,670 great. Honest reviews only. If you don't think 52 00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:03,350 we're great, I would appreciate if you didn't 53 00:02:03,350 --> 00:02:04,890 leave that review. I'm just saying. 54 00:02:05,590 --> 00:02:07,109 But I'm not going to ask anybody to 55 00:02:07,109 --> 00:02:07,954 lie either. 56 00:02:08,335 --> 00:02:10,275 Just saying. If you like us, 57 00:02:10,814 --> 00:02:13,055 leave a review. Anyway and if you have 58 00:02:13,055 --> 00:02:14,495 a question that you would like, 59 00:02:15,294 --> 00:02:17,055 us to answer and to get our thoughts 60 00:02:17,055 --> 00:02:17,555 on, 61 00:02:17,935 --> 00:02:19,935 please send it to us. I love it 62 00:02:19,935 --> 00:02:21,539 when I can read a question to JB 63 00:02:21,539 --> 00:02:23,639 and he has an immediate visceral reaction. 64 00:02:24,419 --> 00:02:26,979 So it it's usually awful, but also it's 65 00:02:26,979 --> 00:02:27,959 fun. Anyway, 66 00:02:29,939 --> 00:02:31,379 there is a link in the show notes 67 00:02:31,379 --> 00:02:34,375 and on our website at lovingbdsm.net. 68 00:02:34,514 --> 00:02:36,914 It's literally titled Ask Your Questions. Send Your 69 00:02:36,914 --> 00:02:39,474 Question Through That Way. And it may be, 70 00:02:39,954 --> 00:02:41,495 a future one of these. 71 00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:49,770 Okay. This this question is actually two questions. 72 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,030 This is all short and sweet. Okay? 73 00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:52,830 But, 74 00:02:53,449 --> 00:02:55,389 did we have some thoughts, I think? 75 00:02:55,770 --> 00:02:58,010 Is it normal for a sub to buy 76 00:02:58,010 --> 00:03:00,384 supplies before meeting with a dominant? And how 77 00:03:00,384 --> 00:03:02,705 much of a financial output should I expect 78 00:03:02,705 --> 00:03:04,085 before meeting someone? 79 00:03:06,865 --> 00:03:08,645 Jamie really didn't like this question. 80 00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,585 I think both of us immediately our minds 81 00:03:11,585 --> 00:03:12,485 went to, 82 00:03:13,419 --> 00:03:16,060 an air quote dom. Somebody who's posing, somebody 83 00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:18,060 who's using the other person. Before we get 84 00:03:18,060 --> 00:03:19,979 into that, because it feels like that's probably 85 00:03:19,979 --> 00:03:21,180 what this is, I do wanna make a 86 00:03:21,180 --> 00:03:24,400 couple of, like let's be clear. Financial domination? 87 00:03:24,699 --> 00:03:27,340 FinDom. That will be negotiated between you and 88 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,375 your Fin Dom. Correct. Please don't ever let 89 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,455 yourself go broke out of that. There there 90 00:03:31,455 --> 00:03:34,655 are many power exchanges that do include money. 91 00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:37,614 Mhmm. Many that do not include money. Right. 92 00:03:37,614 --> 00:03:40,174 K. That is up to the individual person 93 00:03:40,174 --> 00:03:42,334 whether that is something they are interested in 94 00:03:42,334 --> 00:03:44,259 or not. Right. It is negotiated. 95 00:03:45,199 --> 00:03:46,099 There is, 96 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,879 never has been, the set amount of money 97 00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:50,560 that you need to put out before you 98 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,819 can meet a dom. Doesn't work that way. 99 00:03:53,039 --> 00:03:53,539 Okay? 100 00:03:54,639 --> 00:03:56,019 You know, no. It 101 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:57,459 if someone's 102 00:03:58,344 --> 00:04:01,145 telling you this, it's bullshit. It's bullshit bullshit 103 00:04:01,145 --> 00:04:02,825 bullshit. That is the red flag of red 104 00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:03,645 flags there. 105 00:04:07,545 --> 00:04:09,485 I mean, what he said 106 00:04:12,025 --> 00:04:13,165 I I I know 107 00:04:13,599 --> 00:04:15,360 your thought has immediately gone to somebody who's 108 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,639 like, oh, well, you're gonna have to do 109 00:04:16,639 --> 00:04:18,399 this if you wanna earn my Yeah. If, 110 00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:19,839 you know, you wanna be considered a good 111 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,639 citizen. Right. I will I Yeah. I will 112 00:04:22,639 --> 00:04:25,379 take another tack that is Okay. More generous 113 00:04:25,519 --> 00:04:27,620 because that was where my mind first went. 114 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,504 And I don't think I have anything to 115 00:04:29,504 --> 00:04:32,165 add to that as bullshit as an accurate 116 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:33,125 statement. 117 00:04:35,185 --> 00:04:36,944 The one thing I will say is if 118 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,504 you are meeting up to play with a 119 00:04:39,504 --> 00:04:42,225 partner or you know that some kinky scene 120 00:04:42,225 --> 00:04:44,069 is going to be part of your first 121 00:04:44,069 --> 00:04:46,569 time kind of getting together in person, 122 00:04:47,029 --> 00:04:48,649 you might have to spend money. 123 00:04:49,029 --> 00:04:51,290 Because if there is a type of toy 124 00:04:51,669 --> 00:04:52,490 that you 125 00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:54,009 want to experience 126 00:04:55,269 --> 00:04:57,430 and your body fluids are going to get 127 00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:58,089 on it, 128 00:04:59,035 --> 00:05:00,894 it has probably has to be purchased. 129 00:05:01,274 --> 00:05:03,675 Sometimes that will be by the submissive. Sometimes 130 00:05:03,675 --> 00:05:05,675 the dominance, like, hey. I'll buy it. Right. 131 00:05:05,675 --> 00:05:07,995 Here's a gift. That, again, is between the 132 00:05:07,995 --> 00:05:09,754 people Right. And what you negotiate. And and 133 00:05:09,754 --> 00:05:11,995 there there are, I I will say, a 134 00:05:11,995 --> 00:05:13,375 number of submissives 135 00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:15,670 or actually 136 00:05:16,129 --> 00:05:18,069 more accurate to say masochists 137 00:05:18,689 --> 00:05:21,830 who will buy their own toys. Mhmm. Mhmm. 138 00:05:22,210 --> 00:05:24,069 Alright. They will have their toys because 139 00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:27,830 if if something doesn't work out, 140 00:05:28,865 --> 00:05:30,705 they're not gonna lose their toys. Plus those 141 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,105 toys are bonded to that person. Right. Once 142 00:05:33,105 --> 00:05:34,785 their body fluids get on it. Right. There's 143 00:05:34,785 --> 00:05:37,024 a lot of toys you cannot sterilize and 144 00:05:37,024 --> 00:05:40,305 sanitize Yeah. Fluids out of. So, you know, 145 00:05:40,305 --> 00:05:42,564 there there is that. Sure. Okay. 146 00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:46,379 But, you know, for there to be a 147 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:48,540 a set amount of money Or a condition 148 00:05:48,540 --> 00:05:50,220 that you have to spend money before you're 149 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,839 allowed to meet your Dom, that's 150 00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,279 gross. Yeah. 151 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,800 Yeah. Again, 152 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,699 just to be clear, we're not talking about 153 00:05:56,699 --> 00:05:58,604 Fin FinDom. We're not. No. That's different. That's 154 00:05:58,604 --> 00:06:00,365 different. Now do you have to be careful 155 00:06:00,365 --> 00:06:02,204 with FinDom? Are there some shady people? Of 156 00:06:02,204 --> 00:06:03,185 course. Of course. Of course. 157 00:06:04,284 --> 00:06:05,644 I feel like a person who was asking 158 00:06:05,644 --> 00:06:07,724 about financial domination would have mentioned that. So 159 00:06:07,724 --> 00:06:09,245 I don't feel like that's what this question 160 00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:09,720 is. 161 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,779 I there's also, you know, 162 00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:16,839 a thing to consider if you are having 163 00:06:16,839 --> 00:06:19,000 to travel to see somebody and you are 164 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:19,980 going to them, 165 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,379 there will probably be some 166 00:06:22,795 --> 00:06:24,175 expenditure of money. 167 00:06:25,115 --> 00:06:27,295 I know that there is no 168 00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,014 way on earth 169 00:06:30,395 --> 00:06:33,355 I would have allowed JB to spend money 170 00:06:33,355 --> 00:06:35,615 on me for me to go visit him 171 00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:38,150 the first time or if that was the 172 00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:40,629 first time meeting. And it's not because I'm 173 00:06:40,629 --> 00:06:42,410 too good for him to spend his money. 174 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,129 It's not even that I would have just 175 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:50,069 it's this. And maybe I'm speaking as, you 176 00:06:50,069 --> 00:06:50,569 know, 177 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,345 somebody who is raised and socialized as a 178 00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:54,404 as a woman 179 00:06:54,865 --> 00:06:55,764 in this society. 180 00:06:57,185 --> 00:06:59,125 I've come across too many 181 00:06:59,584 --> 00:07:00,644 people, primarily 182 00:07:01,105 --> 00:07:01,605 men, 183 00:07:03,264 --> 00:07:04,404 cis men specifically, 184 00:07:04,769 --> 00:07:07,430 who will a 100% use that against you. 185 00:07:07,889 --> 00:07:09,810 You owe me something now that I've spent 186 00:07:09,810 --> 00:07:12,149 money. So in my personal 187 00:07:12,449 --> 00:07:12,949 cautiousness 188 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:16,129 on what kind of situations I get myself 189 00:07:16,129 --> 00:07:16,629 into, 190 00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:19,250 there would there's no way I would I 191 00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:20,115 would let that happen 192 00:07:26,995 --> 00:07:27,974 different decision 193 00:07:28,274 --> 00:07:31,235 knowing, you know, your specific situation, the person 194 00:07:31,235 --> 00:07:33,660 you're dealing with, all that. Feel free. 195 00:07:34,779 --> 00:07:37,180 So I say that to say if you 196 00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,839 are a submissive who is going somewhere 197 00:07:40,939 --> 00:07:43,519 to meet your dom for the first time 198 00:07:45,580 --> 00:07:48,074 and it's going, you know, and you feel 199 00:07:48,074 --> 00:07:49,935 similarly to the way I do, 200 00:07:50,714 --> 00:07:52,014 then you should 201 00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:55,194 be- expect that there will be something you 202 00:07:55,194 --> 00:07:56,014 have to spend. 203 00:07:56,555 --> 00:07:58,474 It needs to be within your budget, though. 204 00:07:58,474 --> 00:08:00,710 I I don't I don't want one of 205 00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:03,590 y'all to go broke because you were desperate 206 00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:04,650 to meet this dom 207 00:08:05,029 --> 00:08:07,370 who couldn't or wouldn't meet you halfway, 208 00:08:07,830 --> 00:08:10,230 spend the money to come to you, whatever 209 00:08:10,230 --> 00:08:11,210 whatever. Right? 210 00:08:12,069 --> 00:08:14,645 But so if we're we're talking big picture, 211 00:08:14,705 --> 00:08:17,504 not singular asshole who is trying to use 212 00:08:17,504 --> 00:08:20,145 you, we're talking like, should I expect to 213 00:08:20,145 --> 00:08:21,205 have to spend money? 214 00:08:21,824 --> 00:08:22,725 It depends. 215 00:08:23,185 --> 00:08:25,585 Yeah. You don't have to spend money to 216 00:08:25,585 --> 00:08:27,585 get kinky because the body can do a 217 00:08:27,585 --> 00:08:29,720 lot lot of the work. Words and the 218 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,639 mental and emotional aspect can do a lot 219 00:08:31,639 --> 00:08:34,139 of the work. There's no requirement for toys. 220 00:08:34,519 --> 00:08:36,360 But there might be a requirement if you're 221 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,100 long distance. 222 00:08:37,399 --> 00:08:39,480 There might be a requirement if neither of 223 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,159 you has a place you can be you 224 00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:43,205 know, have privacy and you need to, like, 225 00:08:43,345 --> 00:08:45,504 get a hotel room for some semblance of 226 00:08:45,504 --> 00:08:46,004 privacy. 227 00:08:47,825 --> 00:08:48,325 That 228 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,524 is something that should be discussed and negotiated 229 00:08:51,825 --> 00:08:53,665 Correct. You know, with you and a partner. 230 00:08:53,665 --> 00:08:55,904 And if this is your first time meeting 231 00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:57,990 them, I just say exercise caution. Caution. Make 232 00:08:57,990 --> 00:08:59,929 sure you don't get yourself kind of like 233 00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:02,169 stuck in a corner where you can't easily 234 00:09:02,389 --> 00:09:05,029 extract yourself if you need to. Like if 235 00:09:05,029 --> 00:09:06,549 if you find out that they are not 236 00:09:06,549 --> 00:09:08,950 who they, you know, claim to be and 237 00:09:08,950 --> 00:09:11,684 how they portrayed themselves online and now in 238 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:14,884 person, you're like 'Woah.' Right? Like be thinking 239 00:09:14,884 --> 00:09:16,425 of those things. Sure. 240 00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:19,285 But if a dom is like well you're 241 00:09:19,285 --> 00:09:20,565 gonna have to buy this, and you're gonna 242 00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:21,764 have to do this, and you're gonna have 243 00:09:21,764 --> 00:09:23,929 to look this certain way, and and you're 244 00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:25,850 gonna have to spend all this money before 245 00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:26,350 we 246 00:09:27,809 --> 00:09:28,309 Mm-mm. 247 00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:31,230 That that's got to be a mutual decision? 248 00:09:31,289 --> 00:09:33,370 And and there is nothing And it's not 249 00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:35,370 required. I I I have to say is 250 00:09:35,370 --> 00:09:37,445 just because the way that the last part 251 00:09:37,445 --> 00:09:38,184 of the question 252 00:09:38,565 --> 00:09:38,884 was, 253 00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:40,665 phrased. 254 00:09:42,725 --> 00:09:43,465 It's not 255 00:09:43,845 --> 00:09:45,865 meaning a dom is not a a carnival 256 00:09:45,925 --> 00:09:47,925 game. Mhmm. You know, where you put so 257 00:09:47,925 --> 00:09:49,779 much into it and then you get the 258 00:09:49,779 --> 00:09:51,460 Kewpie doll or the Dom. Right. Right. Right. 259 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:52,839 Like, there's there's not like 260 00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:54,980 a there yeah. There's not this list you're 261 00:09:54,980 --> 00:09:56,820 supposed to check off of, well, I well, 262 00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:58,740 I bought the corset or I bought the 263 00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:01,059 cage or I bought this or Right. And 264 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,955 now I have advanced to the level where 265 00:10:03,955 --> 00:10:05,415 I have to meet a Dom. Like, 266 00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:08,595 When does the boss Dom come? When does 267 00:10:08,595 --> 00:10:09,654 the boss Dom come? 268 00:10:10,355 --> 00:10:12,274 I put in a thousand coins. Does that 269 00:10:12,274 --> 00:10:14,514 mean I get a bigger Dom? Like, no. 270 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,855 It's just not how it's supposed to work. 271 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:17,879 No. No. 272 00:10:18,259 --> 00:10:20,899 In a in a typical situation where maybe 273 00:10:20,899 --> 00:10:22,980 you're, you know, you're in the same town 274 00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,500 or you can like, maybe you meet at 275 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,159 a munch, 276 00:10:25,779 --> 00:10:28,100 you meeting a dom should could be as 277 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,865 free as going to the park if you 278 00:10:29,865 --> 00:10:31,465 don't if one or both of you doesn't 279 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:32,745 have a lot of cash. Right. Or one 280 00:10:32,745 --> 00:10:34,105 or both of you does not wanna take 281 00:10:34,105 --> 00:10:35,784 money from a person you have not established 282 00:10:35,784 --> 00:10:37,085 a relationship with. 283 00:10:39,304 --> 00:10:41,245 It it is different if you're 284 00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,485 traveling. Right? If you're 285 00:10:44,169 --> 00:10:46,250 going in for a very specific kind of 286 00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,750 scene. Right? And you want specific 287 00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:50,590 toys 288 00:10:51,129 --> 00:10:51,629 or 289 00:10:52,009 --> 00:10:53,610 you know what's the word I want? 290 00:10:55,210 --> 00:10:56,490 There's a word I want. Oh my god. 291 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,929 I hate it when I do that. Props 292 00:10:57,929 --> 00:10:59,070 to be used. Right? 293 00:10:59,894 --> 00:11:01,654 You might need to be the one who 294 00:11:01,654 --> 00:11:03,254 spends your money on that, especially if you 295 00:11:03,254 --> 00:11:04,855 want that to be yours when you walk 296 00:11:04,855 --> 00:11:06,154 away. Mhmm. Correct. 297 00:11:06,774 --> 00:11:09,254 Or if there's a toy that a, you 298 00:11:09,254 --> 00:11:11,495 know, this person has used on other people 299 00:11:11,495 --> 00:11:12,779 and you do not feel comfortable 300 00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:16,460 with that, quite frankly, I wouldn't either. That's 301 00:11:16,460 --> 00:11:18,000 a personal risk assessment. 302 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,779 I would I think I would argue caution. 303 00:11:20,779 --> 00:11:23,259 Like, if body fluids can get on something 304 00:11:23,259 --> 00:11:25,340 and it ain't silicone or stainless steel or 305 00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:26,955 something that can be sterilized. 306 00:11:27,894 --> 00:11:29,735 Yeah. Have your own. Right? Mhmm. 307 00:11:30,934 --> 00:11:33,975 But that's that's it, and that's personal to 308 00:11:33,975 --> 00:11:34,794 each dynamic. 309 00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:37,254 Correct. And that's based on your specific set 310 00:11:37,254 --> 00:11:37,995 of circumstance. 311 00:11:38,879 --> 00:11:41,279 So if if a dom is, like, setting 312 00:11:41,279 --> 00:11:43,279 these requirements and saying you must have this 313 00:11:43,279 --> 00:11:45,699 and you must buy these toys and and 314 00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:47,600 do this thing and spend this amount of 315 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,079 money before you are, you know, allowed to 316 00:11:50,079 --> 00:11:51,139 be in my presence, 317 00:11:51,725 --> 00:11:52,545 then that 318 00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,264 is what JB would call Bullshit 319 00:11:55,805 --> 00:11:57,504 of the highest degree. Exactly. 320 00:11:58,605 --> 00:12:02,144 That that's no bueno. That's no. No. No. 321 00:12:03,325 --> 00:12:03,825 No. 322 00:12:04,285 --> 00:12:04,785 No. 323 00:12:08,789 --> 00:12:10,549 I you know, let let's face it. I 324 00:12:10,549 --> 00:12:12,329 mean, I understand, you know, sometimes 325 00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:13,929 I I can understand, 326 00:12:14,629 --> 00:12:17,110 somebody, especially if it's somebody new coming into 327 00:12:17,110 --> 00:12:17,769 the lifestyle. 328 00:12:20,745 --> 00:12:21,485 You know, 329 00:12:23,384 --> 00:12:26,024 toys can be expensive. They can be. They 330 00:12:26,024 --> 00:12:28,184 can be. Toys can be expensive, you know. 331 00:12:28,184 --> 00:12:28,684 But, 332 00:12:29,784 --> 00:12:31,544 one thing I always said about that, you 333 00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:34,365 know, you're you're buying almost like an heirloom 334 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,289 piece, a bespoke piece when you buy some 335 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,850 of these, you know, these these cloggers and 336 00:12:38,850 --> 00:12:40,709 other things that that folks make. 337 00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:43,509 So, you know, it's it's almost an investment. 338 00:12:43,809 --> 00:12:45,250 But then again, you can go out and 339 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:47,190 get yourself a wooden spoon and a spatula. 340 00:12:48,049 --> 00:12:49,750 A hand. Yeah. Hand. 341 00:12:50,769 --> 00:12:53,305 Of the the words your dom speaks that 342 00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:55,144 gets in your head and, like, messes with 343 00:12:55,144 --> 00:12:55,884 your imagination. 344 00:12:56,345 --> 00:12:56,845 Right. 345 00:12:57,785 --> 00:13:00,425 Yeah. Money is a tricky thing in in 346 00:13:00,425 --> 00:13:03,305 kink because some things absolutely a 100% cost 347 00:13:03,305 --> 00:13:05,384 money. And when you don't have the money 348 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:07,559 to spend on that, it is tough. It 349 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:08,940 can feel like you're missing out. 350 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,620 And but I also think that 351 00:13:13,399 --> 00:13:15,879 people think that you can only do these 352 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,799 things if you buy the right things and 353 00:13:17,799 --> 00:13:19,879 spend the right money, have the right gear, 354 00:13:19,879 --> 00:13:21,100 have the right clothes. 355 00:13:21,774 --> 00:13:23,615 Those are nice to haves. If you've got 356 00:13:23,615 --> 00:13:25,695 the budget for it, I'm not gonna tell 357 00:13:25,695 --> 00:13:27,294 you how to spend your money. Please get 358 00:13:27,294 --> 00:13:29,934 what makes you happy. Enjoy. Right. But if 359 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,934 you don't have the budget for it It 360 00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:33,875 doesn't make you any less of a 361 00:13:34,460 --> 00:13:36,860 masochist submissive. Doesn't make you any less of 362 00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:38,399 a a sadist dominant. 363 00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:42,080 Of anybody who tells you otherwise 364 00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:45,820 is spewing what? Bullshit. How many times can 365 00:13:45,820 --> 00:13:47,180 I get JB to say bullshit in a 366 00:13:47,180 --> 00:13:47,680 second? 367 00:13:48,059 --> 00:13:49,705 That is that is reading what I wanna 368 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,304 know. That is that is what I wanna 369 00:13:51,304 --> 00:13:51,804 know. 370 00:13:53,384 --> 00:13:54,845 So, yeah, I think that's 371 00:13:55,144 --> 00:13:57,625 that's our probably our final answer on that. 372 00:13:57,625 --> 00:13:58,365 It's pretty 373 00:13:58,745 --> 00:14:01,085 it's simple and also it's nuanced. Bullshittery. 374 00:14:01,784 --> 00:14:03,959 Bullshittery. There's no requirement that you spend money 375 00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:06,720 to meet your Dom No. In in general. 376 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,759 Right? Again Yeah. Caveat. We're not talking about 377 00:14:09,759 --> 00:14:10,259 FinDom. 378 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,659 But, yes, there can be 379 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,720 expenses that go along with certain facets of 380 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,940 it. So that that's 381 00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,524 the reality, I think. Correct. 382 00:14:21,225 --> 00:14:22,664 Mhmm. Thanks for listening to this week's q 383 00:14:22,664 --> 00:14:24,024 and a episode. If you want us to 384 00:14:24,024 --> 00:14:25,865 answer one of your questions, just use the 385 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,504 contact page on our website at lovingbdsm.net, 386 00:14:28,504 --> 00:14:29,784 or you can find the link in the 387 00:14:29,784 --> 00:14:31,544 show notes. Big thanks as always to our 388 00:14:31,544 --> 00:14:33,840 kinky community over on Patreon. We're able to 389 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,600 do this podcast and keep it going and 390 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,240 help kinksters due to your support. If you'd 391 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,519 like to be part of our community and 392 00:14:39,519 --> 00:14:41,519 get access to extra content and a Discord 393 00:14:41,519 --> 00:14:43,200 server with a group of super cool, super 394 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,120 nice kinksters, you can do that. Just join 395 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,085 us at patreon.com/kaylalords. 396 00:14:47,325 --> 00:14:49,965 That's patreon.com/kaylalords, 397 00:14:49,965 --> 00:14:51,585 or use the link in the show notes.