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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, episode

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four sixty eight. Kayla Lords here with the

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one,

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the only the guy who,

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I'm gonna tease y'all, gave us a rant.

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Monday episode, tune in.

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JB went on

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a JB rant.

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He had a new favorite word. I will

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not spoil that for you. You'll know the

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moment you you listen what his new favorite

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word is.

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He ranted hard enough that I did not

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know how to form words and thoughts

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and and get my thoughts out for a

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minute there. I just was looking at you.

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I didn't think it was that bad. No.

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It was not a bad rant. It's you

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don't rant.

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You are very calm.

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You are. You are. You're kind of the

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personification

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of,

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self control,

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in dominance.

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Come on. Actually, sometimes I think you're a

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secret masochist because sometimes you'll deny me so

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hard because your sadist side is playing, but

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I'm like, you're denying yourself.

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But also I think you like it. So

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anyway

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Anyo.

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I don't know that this episode will will,

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you know, get you ranting again. Yeah. I

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do think you have very personal experience with

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this one.

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We are talking about,

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primarily for new doms, but not necessarily,

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sort of a fear of losing

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self control and becoming power hungry and, you

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know, not behaving responsibly with the control and

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power they're given.

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We're gonna talk about that this week.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and

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Friday for your kinky pleasure and education, and

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show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. And

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if you like what you hear and we've

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helped you, we've entertained, we've educated, we've informed,

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we've done something positive, please leave a review,

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or a rating or whatever your podcast app

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does,

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please. And thank you.

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You can also follow the show on FetLife

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at loving BDSMPC

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on Instagram and technically threads at that handle

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I will forever motherfucking

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hate.

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It's loving d s and the number one.

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So it's at loving d s one.

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On blue sky at loving BDSM dot blahdy

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blahdy blah. Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm

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where you can watch us live stream the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes.

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Big thanks as always to our kinky patrons

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over on Patreon.

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Y'all are the reason we could be weirdos

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on the Internet.

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Long term, we're going into our eleventh year

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now. So

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thank God for our kinky patrons.

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If you like what we do, have a

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few dollars to spare I know not everybody

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does

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and want to get more content as well

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as access to our Discord server, we would

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love it if you joined us over on

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Patreon. Patreon.com/kaylalords,

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or the link is in the show notes.

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You can join for as little as $2

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a month.

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Technically, as of time of recording, we're

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supposed to be gearing up for our membership

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drive.

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It's it's not going as well as it

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usually does, but I did do a thing

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that's already available. If you wanna become an

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annual member,

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the two month free discount we offer every

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year is available. So

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even though the membership drive is not technically

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in full swing yet, you join now, you

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get that discount for annual membership, and you

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will be part of our membership drive. So

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once I get my shit figured out,

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I'll tell you what the hell that is

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that is and what you'll get for it.

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All of that,

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if I haven't lost you yet,

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is patreon.com/kaylalords.

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It's patreon.com/kaylalords

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or the link is in the show notes.

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And, you know, I just have to say

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this with your whole thing with, you know,

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loving DS one.

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Fucking hate that.

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You know, you have high blood pressure.

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I know. I do medicine. You do. You

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hang on to that so tightly. Because I

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had our

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name. I had our name.

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And then Facebook slash Instagram slash meta decided

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to be puritanical

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mother

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fuckers and didn't for a while, maybe still

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not, I haven't tried, let you have something

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like BDSM

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anywhere in your fucking name. I lost the

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name. I can't get it back.

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I hate it so bad. Let it go.

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No. Let it go. No. Let it go.

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I am not

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Elsa.

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Not

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I'll hold that grudge till the day I

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die. Okay. Before we get into the topic

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this week,

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one announcement. There were supposed to be other

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announcements, but there's at least one. There's at

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least one.

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Our Friday night livestream is this Friday, January

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16

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at a new time at a new time.

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I know folks' attention wanders sometimes. At a

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new time.

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Friday night livestreams will now be

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8PM Eastern to 10PM Eastern.

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We have finally admitted

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we're too damn old for this shit.

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And to be fair, our 09:30 start time

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was when the children were younger and we

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were trying to wait until because we would

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record the podcast, we'd do the livestream while

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they're at school so they wouldn't hear that,

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and then we would do Friday night livestreams

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after they went to bed.

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And that was around 09:30. They were we

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knew they were gonna be, like, in their

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bedroom and weren't coming out. So that is

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not our life now.

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Has not been for a few years, and

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we're old and tired. So Friday night livestream.

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Virtual Munch.

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8PM

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Eastern to 10PM Eastern.

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That's what we're doing.

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If you subscribe to the newsletter, you'll get

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the link. If you subscribe to the YouTube

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channel, turn on notifications, and they decide to

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actually work, hopefully you'll get notified. If you're

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like me and, like, check the subscription,

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like, you're in your YouTube app and you

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tap the little thing that says subscription or

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subs whatever it says, and you just I

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just go look. I'm like, who posted what

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today?

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That's how I keep up.

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So yeah. Friday night livestream, 8PM.

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There we go. I I did the thing.

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There was supposed to be another announcement, but

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I didn't do finish doing my part. So

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that will have to wait, hopefully, till next

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week. Okay.

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The topic.

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This topic comes from two places,

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and,

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one was a direct question

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from,

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a proud cricket through our

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Patreon community.

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That's another perk. If you want to join

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Patreon, you can get to me much quicker

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and much more easily and much more directly.

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And the other, I I don't think

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any of the ones I saw made it

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into any of our Reddit episodes, but I

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know

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maybe for last week's Reddit episode, maybe for

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the one before that,

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towards the end of the year,

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I know I have seen

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new

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doms

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sort of with this fear

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of,

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okay,

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I now have control over this person. I

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have power over them. I'm allowed to do

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these things consensually in a negotiated way with

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this person.

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What if I forget how to behave? And

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in different ways. For some people it's what

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if I like turn this dominance thing on

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to people who are not in the dynamic?

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I'm at work. I'm in my social circle.

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I'm with family, and I just start acting

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like big d dom. And others are like

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what if I forget myself and I do

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this outside of our dynamic? I do this

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to my partner when they're not asking for

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it, when it's not negotiated. I just kind

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of become this person.

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And

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I have to say, I kind of understand

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where somebody might go, uh-oh.

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What if? Mhmm.

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But it is also not something I've ever

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thought about before. So

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but the moment I told you about it,

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you immediately went, oh, yeah. I know exactly

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what they're talking about.

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So it had to be an episode.

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It had to be an episode.

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So

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let's

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let's talk about that. Okay.

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So the very first thing, when I told

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you this this topic and these the question

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we had received and then the things I

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had seen Mhmm. What did you say? Absolute

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power corrupts absolutely.

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That is the fear. Yeah. You know,

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but do you think did so was that

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something you thought immediately just like, oh, I'm

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okay. Okay. I've embraced it. I'm big d

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dom. I'm I'm a dominant. That's how I

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I roll in relationships. Mhmm. Was it sort

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of an oh, no? Or was it after

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you got to do the dom thing and

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then an oh, no? It was it was

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in the beginning when I first started Mhmm.

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In the lifestyle.

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Mhmm. And that's kinda where that had come

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about. True.

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Alright.

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But, you know, even

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even

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now, sometimes.

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It hits you even now? Yeah.

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Twenty plus years later?

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Sure. What is it that you worry about

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when it hits you? What's happening? Think think

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about this. You

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have after

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the amount of time we are together,

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okay, you have put

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so much trust

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in me. Mhmm. I could say anything to

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you and you would believe me. Yeah. That's

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for damn sure. I could I could do

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that and you would believe anything that spewed

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out of my mouth. Mhmm. It's how you

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mind fuck me. And and it's how I

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mind fuck you, but you think about

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that kind of power over somebody. For sure.

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Alright. That's that's a lot.

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And you know,

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it's

274
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:47,539
I don't want to say it's the temptation

275
00:09:47,759 --> 00:09:49,539
is there, but The understanding

276
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,860
is there. You know that it's there.

277
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,679
Here's what I would say to new doms

278
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,379
who are going, oh my god, yes,

279
00:09:55,745 --> 00:09:58,384
I I recognize that. Or any dom. Here's

280
00:09:58,384 --> 00:10:00,544
the thing. If you are thinking about it

281
00:10:00,544 --> 00:10:01,365
and aware

282
00:10:01,825 --> 00:10:04,084
and not acting on it in the moment,

283
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,424
I mean nothing is a 100% certain in

284
00:10:07,424 --> 00:10:08,964
life, but I'm gonna say

285
00:10:09,345 --> 00:10:10,325
you are unlikely

286
00:10:11,699 --> 00:10:14,819
to forget yourself in in in situations where

287
00:10:14,819 --> 00:10:17,299
this is not warranted. You are unlikely to

288
00:10:17,299 --> 00:10:20,259
abuse this power and, you know, lack the

289
00:10:20,259 --> 00:10:22,259
self control to just, like, be who you're

290
00:10:22,259 --> 00:10:24,019
supposed to be in this role and in

291
00:10:24,019 --> 00:10:26,154
this moment and be your like,

292
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:28,855
the the people who use their power that

293
00:10:28,855 --> 00:10:29,355
way,

294
00:10:29,894 --> 00:10:31,894
they're not thinking, oh no. What if I

295
00:10:31,894 --> 00:10:34,295
use the power I have that way? They

296
00:10:34,295 --> 00:10:37,095
might be they might absolutely recognize the power

297
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,820
that they have, but they're not worried about

298
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,519
it and they're not questioning themselves.

299
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:43,139
They're I just don't think they are. I

300
00:10:43,139 --> 00:10:44,039
think they're going,

301
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:46,360
Here's another tool for manipulation,

302
00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:48,179
so therefore I will use it because I

303
00:10:48,179 --> 00:10:49,399
know I have that tool.

304
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,080
The honorable

305
00:10:51,654 --> 00:10:54,375
people who are trying their best or trying

306
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:57,495
to be good responsible doms are gonna go,

307
00:10:57,495 --> 00:10:59,254
oh shit, I have that power. I better

308
00:10:59,254 --> 00:10:59,914
be careful.

309
00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:01,674
You know? Yeah.

310
00:11:02,294 --> 00:11:04,554
But I did I I find that fascinating

311
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:06,534
that you still feel that way, but also

312
00:11:06,534 --> 00:11:08,675
I'm kind of comforted. But also I think

313
00:11:08,675 --> 00:11:11,086
I taught you that to some extent. And

314
00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:13,498
here's what I mean by that. You you

315
00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,909
get me so good when you're joking. And

316
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,622
I take you so now part of it

317
00:11:18,622 --> 00:11:21,033
is I do take some things quite literally.

318
00:11:21,033 --> 00:11:23,445
That's a thing. But if JB says it

319
00:11:23,764 --> 00:11:24,264
and

320
00:11:24,644 --> 00:11:28,164
I don't know that it's factually untrue, then

321
00:11:28,164 --> 00:11:30,105
it's true until I find out otherwise.

322
00:11:30,404 --> 00:11:32,485
And so, yeah, I've had to say to

323
00:11:32,485 --> 00:11:34,164
him over the years, oh my god. You

324
00:11:34,164 --> 00:11:35,460
could say anything to me.

325
00:11:36,259 --> 00:11:38,420
I you could say anything to me. And

326
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:40,580
I'm actually a little I don't get nervous

327
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,279
about that because I do trust you.

328
00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:43,480
Because

329
00:11:45,059 --> 00:11:47,800
I you can't get that way with me

330
00:11:48,295 --> 00:11:50,455
without that complete trust, and to get that

331
00:11:50,455 --> 00:11:52,535
complete trust, holy shit, you gotta work for

332
00:11:52,535 --> 00:11:55,335
it. Because I just don't I'm naturally skeptical

333
00:11:55,335 --> 00:11:57,654
of what many people tell me if I

334
00:11:57,654 --> 00:11:59,254
don't know your motives and I don't know

335
00:11:59,254 --> 00:12:01,014
you and I don't have that kind of

336
00:12:01,014 --> 00:12:02,075
trusting relationship.

337
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,490
So I don't worry about it, but I

338
00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:07,929
am I am aware of it. Especially when

339
00:12:07,929 --> 00:12:09,129
you do mind fuck me and I get

340
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,889
mad later, I'm like, oh my fucking god,

341
00:12:10,889 --> 00:12:11,950
you mind fucked me.

342
00:12:13,129 --> 00:12:15,529
Yeah. But see then, that also then comes

343
00:12:15,529 --> 00:12:16,029
with

344
00:12:16,409 --> 00:12:18,554
the other one Mhmm. That I said deal.

345
00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:19,215
Mhmm. Uncle

346
00:12:19,915 --> 00:12:22,495
Ben. Oh. With great power comes great responsibility.

347
00:12:22,715 --> 00:12:23,835
Do you wanna know every time you say

348
00:12:23,835 --> 00:12:25,995
uncle Ben, I don't immediately think Spider Man.

349
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,514
I do immediately think You think of rice.

350
00:12:27,595 --> 00:12:28,495
I think of rice

351
00:12:30,154 --> 00:12:30,894
and oatmeal

352
00:12:31,514 --> 00:12:32,815
and whatever else.

353
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,940
Just saying. Yeah. With great power comes great

354
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:41,860
power. Yeah. And, you know, I you have

355
00:12:41,860 --> 00:12:43,399
to be cognizant cognizant

356
00:12:43,779 --> 00:12:45,000
of that. Mhmm.

357
00:12:45,414 --> 00:12:47,174
And again, I go back to if you

358
00:12:47,174 --> 00:12:49,495
are a person who is fearful that you

359
00:12:49,495 --> 00:12:51,894
will somehow forget yourself, I think you are

360
00:12:51,894 --> 00:12:54,054
less likely. It's not that you might not.

361
00:12:54,054 --> 00:12:55,254
It's not that in the heat of a

362
00:12:55,254 --> 00:12:57,414
moment we were talking about this as we

363
00:12:57,414 --> 00:13:00,600
were discussing this topic, that sometimes JB has

364
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,540
to pull his big dom voice

365
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,100
on people who are not hismissive.

366
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,639
If you want to wrangle the sisters and

367
00:13:07,639 --> 00:13:09,480
me to be his place and

368
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,320
Yes. Sometimes

369
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:12,404
but

370
00:13:12,805 --> 00:13:15,925
using a tone of voice is not the

371
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:16,425
same

372
00:13:17,205 --> 00:13:19,384
as using the control that you've been granted.

373
00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:21,285
It's not the same as being controlling. It's

374
00:13:21,285 --> 00:13:22,904
not the same as being,

375
00:13:23,685 --> 00:13:26,500
sort of power hungry. Right? Or too controlling.

376
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,299
It's just a it's a thing you know

377
00:13:29,299 --> 00:13:32,019
will get attention. Mhmm. Everybody else still has

378
00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,620
all their free will to do whatever they're

379
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,720
gonna do. You're not trying to manipulate anything.

380
00:13:36,419 --> 00:13:38,644
You're actually just trying to like

381
00:13:39,024 --> 00:13:41,985
move a situation along whatever the risk outcome

382
00:13:41,985 --> 00:13:44,804
is. True. I, you know, I have used

383
00:13:45,664 --> 00:13:47,105
back in the day when I worked in

384
00:13:47,105 --> 00:13:48,164
an office, I

385
00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:50,625
did use my Dom voice a couple times

386
00:13:50,625 --> 00:13:51,299
in the office.

387
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:52,500
Mhmm. Okay.

388
00:13:54,259 --> 00:13:55,240
But even that

389
00:13:55,940 --> 00:13:58,659
was a one of the times, I can't

390
00:13:58,659 --> 00:14:01,220
remember the circumstances, but there was there was

391
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:03,059
just like a clusterfuck going on in the

392
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,820
office and everybody back and forth back and

393
00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:07,175
forth and nobody, you know, nothing was getting

394
00:14:07,394 --> 00:14:09,975
settled. Everything was just, you know, chaos.

395
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:12,595
Mhmm. And I just kind of, like, stepped

396
00:14:12,595 --> 00:14:13,575
in and said, hey.

397
00:14:14,195 --> 00:14:16,035
And here's the thing. There's a there's a

398
00:14:16,035 --> 00:14:18,754
difference between little d domination, big d domination

399
00:14:18,995 --> 00:14:21,230
Mhmm. And taking charge of situations.

400
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:23,870
Taking charge of a situation

401
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:26,490
does not mean you've been conferred with any

402
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,330
more power than the group you're in will

403
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:30,990
allow you to have. Right? Because sometimes

404
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,345
somebody has to step up and guide the

405
00:14:33,345 --> 00:14:35,585
fucking ship. That's at work. That's at home.

406
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:36,404
That's wherever.

407
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:38,565
And for some people,

408
00:14:39,024 --> 00:14:41,024
it is either part of their personality. They're

409
00:14:41,024 --> 00:14:42,705
just that's just who they are, and they

410
00:14:42,705 --> 00:14:44,485
will do it. And or

411
00:14:45,149 --> 00:14:47,870
maybe you've been a dominant just long enough

412
00:14:47,870 --> 00:14:49,709
to have gained the self confidence that you

413
00:14:49,709 --> 00:14:52,029
know you can lead somebody or you can

414
00:14:52,029 --> 00:14:52,529
take

415
00:14:53,549 --> 00:14:55,949
a little bit of necessary control in a

416
00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:56,449
moment

417
00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:58,850
because you've got the experience in other ways.

418
00:14:59,154 --> 00:15:01,475
That does not necessarily mean you have brought

419
00:15:01,475 --> 00:15:03,894
your big d dominant self into the situation.

420
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,615
It means that those skills can be transferable.

421
00:15:07,075 --> 00:15:07,575
Yeah.

422
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:10,294
And here's the thing too that, you know,

423
00:15:11,154 --> 00:15:12,375
have to keep in mind,

424
00:15:12,835 --> 00:15:14,294
you know, you and I

425
00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,149
with what we have negotiated

426
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:18,970
with what we have in our power exchange,

427
00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:20,990
it was it's negotiated. Mhmm.

428
00:15:21,370 --> 00:15:24,169
Okay. I didn't negotiate anything with anybody at

429
00:15:24,169 --> 00:15:25,230
work. Right.

430
00:15:25,769 --> 00:15:28,490
But you but you all you understood that

431
00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:29,309
there's a shared

432
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:32,445
outcome. There's a project to complete. There's a

433
00:15:32,445 --> 00:15:35,004
deadline to meet. There's a a job that

434
00:15:35,004 --> 00:15:37,404
everybody has to do and it has to

435
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:40,044
get done. Right. So, you know, this is

436
00:15:40,044 --> 00:15:42,449
why group work fucking sucks. Sometimes somebody's gotta

437
00:15:42,449 --> 00:15:44,929
stand up and go, okay. I'll I'll I'll

438
00:15:44,929 --> 00:15:46,230
drive this thing. Right?

439
00:15:47,009 --> 00:15:49,829
But taking that little bit of charge

440
00:15:50,929 --> 00:15:52,389
is not necessarily

441
00:15:53,089 --> 00:15:54,254
is not truly,

442
00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,894
to me, on the same level at all

443
00:15:57,134 --> 00:15:58,894
Mhmm. Of being a dominant in a relationship.

444
00:15:58,894 --> 00:16:00,735
Even if the some of the same muscles

445
00:16:00,735 --> 00:16:02,894
are being It's it's not going through and

446
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:05,695
and trying to mind fuck the office or,

447
00:16:05,695 --> 00:16:06,355
you know,

448
00:16:06,654 --> 00:16:09,480
manipulate people. Right. Because that's the thing. If

449
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:12,120
you bring big d dominant energy into a

450
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,659
space that's, like, not your part negotiated partner,

451
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,839
that is that is manipulation because nobody has

452
00:16:18,839 --> 00:16:21,559
agreed to this behavior. Nobody has said, yeah.

453
00:16:21,559 --> 00:16:22,904
Sure. You can be in charge of this

454
00:16:22,904 --> 00:16:24,664
situation. We'll let you have that control and

455
00:16:24,664 --> 00:16:27,304
power. You've just come in and done it.

456
00:16:27,304 --> 00:16:28,904
And again, I go back to if you

457
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,745
are a person who worries that you will

458
00:16:30,745 --> 00:16:33,384
do that, you are unlikely to do that.

459
00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:34,845
Well, I mean, it's it's

460
00:16:36,024 --> 00:16:38,429
it it's morals. It's it's your morals are

461
00:16:38,429 --> 00:16:41,870
in play here. You know? So Personal ethics.

462
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,110
Yeah. There's also context. So I think some

463
00:16:44,110 --> 00:16:44,610
people

464
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:47,070
might worry that they'll forget themselves. They'll just

465
00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:49,149
get so used to how they behave in

466
00:16:49,149 --> 00:16:49,970
this situation.

467
00:16:50,350 --> 00:16:52,745
They'll be in other situations, and this will

468
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:54,424
just come out of them almost sort of

469
00:16:54,424 --> 00:16:56,365
naturally. And I think context

470
00:16:57,065 --> 00:17:00,845
is key here because the power and control

471
00:17:00,904 --> 00:17:01,644
you have

472
00:17:02,345 --> 00:17:03,485
with your partner,

473
00:17:03,865 --> 00:17:04,924
that's been negotiated.

474
00:17:05,384 --> 00:17:06,605
And you know,

475
00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,400
you better if you didn't.

476
00:17:08,859 --> 00:17:11,340
You do now that they can withdraw their

477
00:17:11,340 --> 00:17:12,799
consent at any point.

478
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:14,559
So your behavior

479
00:17:15,740 --> 00:17:16,240
is

480
00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:19,580
geared towards what, one, whatever is sort of

481
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:21,180
natural to you or what you've learned or

482
00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,414
what you're comfortable with, But also it's in

483
00:17:23,414 --> 00:17:25,994
direct response to a partner who is giving

484
00:17:26,214 --> 00:17:27,515
as much as they're receiving

485
00:17:28,375 --> 00:17:28,875
and

486
00:17:29,494 --> 00:17:30,315
you're on

487
00:17:30,934 --> 00:17:33,515
ideally, you're on the same page in wavelength

488
00:17:33,815 --> 00:17:36,075
here. You each have your role to play.

489
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,759
There's so much context around it, so much,

490
00:17:38,820 --> 00:17:41,539
you know, intimate details, so so much that

491
00:17:41,539 --> 00:17:42,600
goes into that

492
00:17:43,220 --> 00:17:46,200
that I I think it is highly unlikely

493
00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:47,960
that most people

494
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:49,400
would just

495
00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:52,005
switch into that or forget themselves.

496
00:17:52,785 --> 00:17:54,305
If you are a person who thinks I'm

497
00:17:54,305 --> 00:17:56,384
gonna I'm just gonna pull this out and

498
00:17:56,384 --> 00:17:58,545
it's I'm gonna forget myself, that is the

499
00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,525
thing I would say

500
00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:02,130
keep in mind. It's all about context.

501
00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:04,609
Within a power exchange it's all about context.

502
00:18:04,609 --> 00:18:06,230
And sometimes that is harder.

503
00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:08,930
Sometimes you're like, oh, I take charge in

504
00:18:08,930 --> 00:18:09,750
this situation.

505
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,109
We're not in that situation.' And you gravitate.

506
00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:15,089
JB and I have had these moments. They

507
00:18:15,089 --> 00:18:16,690
are few and far between. They are always

508
00:18:16,690 --> 00:18:18,554
worked out. Out. But in the beginning of

509
00:18:18,554 --> 00:18:19,295
our relationship,

510
00:18:19,994 --> 00:18:21,515
the one thing that has nothing to do

511
00:18:21,515 --> 00:18:22,974
with our power exchange is parenting.

512
00:18:23,595 --> 00:18:25,035
Which means we get to do the really

513
00:18:25,035 --> 00:18:26,815
fun thing of butting heads someday.

514
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:28,974
And

515
00:18:29,755 --> 00:18:31,375
never in a way that

516
00:18:31,835 --> 00:18:32,575
made me

517
00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:35,730
concerned or that was harmful or anything.

518
00:18:36,109 --> 00:18:37,570
But there were a couple times

519
00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:40,109
if every other aspect of our life is

520
00:18:40,109 --> 00:18:42,190
power exchange and this one aspect isn't, it

521
00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:43,950
makes sense to me that JB would just

522
00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:46,210
carry over because this is how we interact

523
00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:47,710
99%

524
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:48,585
of the time.

525
00:18:48,924 --> 00:18:49,424
Right?

526
00:18:49,765 --> 00:18:51,225
Then it's on me

527
00:18:51,845 --> 00:18:54,005
to go, well, this you're bringing big D

528
00:18:54,005 --> 00:18:55,605
energy to a space that doesn't get big

529
00:18:55,605 --> 00:18:57,545
D energy. We are equals here.

530
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,765
We you don't get to make this final

531
00:18:59,765 --> 00:19:01,289
decision. We have to make this together.

532
00:19:01,769 --> 00:19:04,250
And or especially early on, I am their

533
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:04,750
mother.

534
00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:07,850
I have to make this. I'm legally responsible

535
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:09,390
for them. I have to make this decision.

536
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:11,950
It's less like that now, but you know

537
00:19:12,410 --> 00:19:14,474
And that's a thing that if you as

538
00:19:14,474 --> 00:19:16,794
a dominant are worried about, then you you

539
00:19:16,794 --> 00:19:18,234
need to talk to your partner about it

540
00:19:18,234 --> 00:19:20,554
and go, you know Because not every relationship

541
00:19:20,554 --> 00:19:22,954
is 20 fourseven. Sometimes you're strictly bedroom only

542
00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:23,934
or you're strictly

543
00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:26,875
in sexual moments only, which are not always

544
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:27,615
in the bedroom.

545
00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:30,069
And there might be aspects of your life

546
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,690
that the power exchange doesn't cover.

547
00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:34,890
You being aware that you might oopsie that,

548
00:19:35,269 --> 00:19:37,130
bring that energy to the wrong moment,

549
00:19:37,589 --> 00:19:39,765
that's good. But having an honest conversation

550
00:19:49,045 --> 00:19:51,845
dom fucking out there that's too great, too

551
00:19:51,845 --> 00:19:53,924
amazing, too powerful that their power can't be

552
00:19:53,924 --> 00:19:56,380
fucking checked. And it is checked by their

553
00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:56,880
partner

554
00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:57,840
every

555
00:19:58,299 --> 00:20:00,400
time. Because, yeah, you can go too far.

556
00:20:00,539 --> 00:20:01,740
Not not in a,

557
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:03,759
nefarious way.

558
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,140
The shitty people? That's different. I'm not talking

559
00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:07,994
about them. But you can. You can be

560
00:20:07,994 --> 00:20:09,595
like, I'm so used to having this control,

561
00:20:09,595 --> 00:20:11,835
and we're having a conversation, and the context

562
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,434
is, when I look at you, this is

563
00:20:13,434 --> 00:20:14,634
how I treat you, this is how I

564
00:20:14,634 --> 00:20:16,954
talk to you. Yeah. You will, at times,

565
00:20:16,954 --> 00:20:18,875
forget yourself, but that's a thing you learn

566
00:20:18,875 --> 00:20:20,139
over time. That takes

567
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:22,279
practice. That just takes practice and a partner

568
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:22,940
who's willing

569
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:23,859
to

570
00:20:24,279 --> 00:20:26,919
say, hey. No. This this isn't this isn't

571
00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:28,279
okay. We can't we can't do it this

572
00:20:28,279 --> 00:20:30,279
way. You know? This is not this is

573
00:20:30,279 --> 00:20:32,700
not our power exchange. This is something separate.

574
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,275
Some people like to use code words, you

575
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:36,015
know, to

576
00:20:36,474 --> 00:20:37,775
switch. It's, I think,

577
00:20:38,954 --> 00:20:40,174
another good reason

578
00:20:40,555 --> 00:20:41,695
for folks who

579
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,055
have a very, like,

580
00:20:43,595 --> 00:20:45,835
narrow scope of your power exchange is these

581
00:20:45,835 --> 00:20:46,815
specific situations.

582
00:20:47,195 --> 00:20:48,875
You know, we often tell people to have

583
00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:50,075
a ritual at the end of the day

584
00:20:50,075 --> 00:20:51,250
so you can turn, like,

585
00:20:51,549 --> 00:20:54,670
your parent brain off or your employee brain

586
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,509
off and turn your kink brain on and

587
00:20:56,509 --> 00:20:57,570
get into the mindset.

588
00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,410
You know,

589
00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:02,769
I think that kind of action can serve

590
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,049
multiple purposes.

591
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,705
Mhmm. And to have even a variation of

592
00:21:07,705 --> 00:21:10,105
an action like that to go to sort

593
00:21:10,105 --> 00:21:11,945
of signal, hey, we're not in this mode

594
00:21:11,945 --> 00:21:13,945
anymore, or hey, we are in this mode.

595
00:21:13,945 --> 00:21:16,745
Excuse me. For anybody who does struggle with,

596
00:21:16,745 --> 00:21:18,210
oh, I've gotta turn my dom brain off

597
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,490
in this conversation, but I can turn it

598
00:21:19,490 --> 00:21:21,490
back on in that conversation. And you know,

599
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,329
you just kind of create boundaries around these

600
00:21:23,329 --> 00:21:25,089
things. And this is the space where we'll

601
00:21:25,089 --> 00:21:26,789
go talk about this like this.

602
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:29,490
It's just two people in a relationship, and

603
00:21:29,490 --> 00:21:32,345
here's the space we'll be dom subbed together

604
00:21:32,805 --> 00:21:35,765
and and interact in on that wavelength together.

605
00:21:35,765 --> 00:21:36,825
Right? To sort of

606
00:21:37,205 --> 00:21:37,705
differentiate.

607
00:21:38,085 --> 00:21:39,225
And I you know,

608
00:21:39,605 --> 00:21:41,605
that's I think primarily for people who do

609
00:21:41,605 --> 00:21:43,080
have a very strict delineation.

610
00:21:43,619 --> 00:21:44,820
And you know there are some things that

611
00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:46,500
aren't power exchange, and you know there are

612
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,420
some things that are. For us, we don't

613
00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:50,180
really have that. It was just a it

614
00:21:50,180 --> 00:21:50,680
was

615
00:21:52,580 --> 00:21:54,980
engaging in with each other until it became

616
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,920
muscle memory. You know? Yeah.

617
00:21:57,220 --> 00:21:58,934
Yep. And And so there I I think

618
00:21:58,934 --> 00:22:00,934
I maybe needed to remind JB, like, maybe

619
00:22:00,934 --> 00:22:01,434
twice

620
00:22:01,894 --> 00:22:03,335
over all these years. And it was on

621
00:22:03,335 --> 00:22:04,634
something minor, you know?

622
00:22:07,734 --> 00:22:08,954
I didn't like it.

623
00:22:09,414 --> 00:22:12,190
For submissives out there, you might feel uncomfortable

624
00:22:12,490 --> 00:22:14,970
but you gotta do it. It's it's a

625
00:22:14,970 --> 00:22:16,670
little bit of the shared responsibility.

626
00:22:17,130 --> 00:22:20,029
Right? That's that's your responsibility as a submissive

627
00:22:20,089 --> 00:22:20,750
to go

628
00:22:21,210 --> 00:22:23,049
to the extent that you can, to go,

629
00:22:23,049 --> 00:22:24,650
no, that's not allowed. I'm not okay with

630
00:22:24,650 --> 00:22:24,974
that.'

631
00:22:25,454 --> 00:22:26,974
A good partner is gonna go, oh shit.

632
00:22:26,974 --> 00:22:28,575
My bad. Right? Or they're gonna go calm

633
00:22:28,575 --> 00:22:29,954
down and you'll talk about it later.

634
00:22:30,575 --> 00:22:31,634
But yeah.

635
00:22:32,174 --> 00:22:34,194
I had to get over being uncomfortable.

636
00:22:34,575 --> 00:22:36,654
Truly, I was once or twice. It was

637
00:22:36,894 --> 00:22:38,115
Yeah. It was nothing.

638
00:22:40,399 --> 00:22:42,099
I think this fear

639
00:22:43,679 --> 00:22:44,980
comes from another space.

640
00:22:45,919 --> 00:22:47,599
I think these things can overlap, and I

641
00:22:47,599 --> 00:22:49,519
think some people will think of this specific

642
00:22:49,519 --> 00:22:50,960
thing and other people will think of that

643
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,440
specific thing. So this is another thing that

644
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:54,259
came to mind.

645
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:55,460
If

646
00:22:56,085 --> 00:22:56,585
you,

647
00:22:57,525 --> 00:23:00,105
as a kinkster, but specifically a dominant,

648
00:23:00,644 --> 00:23:03,224
have sort of internalized somewhere this message,

649
00:23:03,684 --> 00:23:06,325
the cliche and the stereotype that doms are

650
00:23:06,325 --> 00:23:07,065
really abusers,

651
00:23:07,859 --> 00:23:10,180
or doms are supposed to be big bad

652
00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:12,200
mean blah blah blah or,

653
00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:15,140
they take advan You know, doms take advantage

654
00:23:15,140 --> 00:23:17,400
of their partner. Doms can be power hungry.

655
00:23:17,619 --> 00:23:19,700
Doms don't really care about that partner even

656
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,195
though you as the individual

657
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,174
are like, that's not true for me. I

658
00:23:23,174 --> 00:23:24,775
absolutely care about my partner and I'm not

659
00:23:24,775 --> 00:23:25,734
going to take this too far and I

660
00:23:25,734 --> 00:23:27,595
will do what I have consent to do.

661
00:23:27,975 --> 00:23:30,455
If somewhere in your lizard brain you're like,

662
00:23:30,455 --> 00:23:32,234
but doms are like that,

663
00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:35,009
I could I don't want you to believe

664
00:23:35,009 --> 00:23:37,329
that. I could see where that fear would

665
00:23:37,329 --> 00:23:39,809
come from. Will I turn into that big,

666
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:42,609
mean, scary dom just by the act of

667
00:23:42,609 --> 00:23:43,109
domination?

668
00:23:43,410 --> 00:23:43,910
Right.

669
00:23:44,289 --> 00:23:47,045
And no. If you were if you were

670
00:23:47,045 --> 00:23:47,704
the type

671
00:23:48,085 --> 00:23:49,865
to abuse your power,

672
00:23:50,565 --> 00:23:53,125
you were gonna abuse power outside of power

673
00:23:53,125 --> 00:23:55,224
exchange. You probably already done it

674
00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:56,884
or you would have done it if the

675
00:23:56,884 --> 00:23:57,384
opportunity,

676
00:23:59,845 --> 00:24:01,065
came up. Right?

677
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,740
Broken record. If you're the type to worry

678
00:24:04,740 --> 00:24:06,440
about it, it's unlikely

679
00:24:06,900 --> 00:24:09,140
that it's gonna happen to you. But I

680
00:24:09,140 --> 00:24:11,480
do think that that comes down to

681
00:24:12,579 --> 00:24:13,240
the very

682
00:24:13,700 --> 00:24:16,579
negative and narrow ways both doms and subs

683
00:24:16,579 --> 00:24:17,914
are viewed by, you know,

684
00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:20,934
non kink spaces or, you know, some of

685
00:24:20,934 --> 00:24:22,535
those who are like the one true way

686
00:24:22,535 --> 00:24:23,975
ers who are like, oh, doms are supposed

687
00:24:23,975 --> 00:24:25,654
to be this and that. They're supposed to

688
00:24:25,654 --> 00:24:27,255
be kind of like firm and strict and

689
00:24:27,255 --> 00:24:27,995
harsh and

690
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,049
bullshit bullshit bullshit,

691
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:32,830
and you know you're not like that, but

692
00:24:32,830 --> 00:24:34,369
now you fear you might become,

693
00:24:34,910 --> 00:24:36,670
air quote, a real dom or that kind

694
00:24:36,670 --> 00:24:37,330
of dom,

695
00:24:39,070 --> 00:24:40,830
I I might play a part for some

696
00:24:40,830 --> 00:24:41,330
people.

697
00:24:42,904 --> 00:24:44,984
And it's it's a pity because what it

698
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,605
means is that the message

699
00:24:47,785 --> 00:24:48,444
is not

700
00:24:49,785 --> 00:24:52,345
is not wide enough that there are as

701
00:24:52,345 --> 00:24:54,285
many ways to dominate as there are dominants

702
00:24:55,384 --> 00:24:56,204
and that

703
00:24:56,779 --> 00:24:57,279
quiet,

704
00:24:58,220 --> 00:24:58,720
unassuming,

705
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:01,440
humble domination

706
00:25:01,819 --> 00:25:04,159
is as valid as the loud

707
00:25:04,859 --> 00:25:06,000
sharp tone,

708
00:25:07,259 --> 00:25:07,919
you know.

709
00:25:08,904 --> 00:25:09,724
I'm gonna

710
00:25:10,105 --> 00:25:12,025
I don't even know. I y'all I'm so

711
00:25:12,025 --> 00:25:14,285
goddamn submissive. I don't fucking know.

712
00:25:16,904 --> 00:25:18,744
The kind of dom I couldn't fucking have

713
00:25:18,744 --> 00:25:20,585
and who couldn't fucking handle me. I would

714
00:25:20,585 --> 00:25:21,700
run that motherfucker off.

715
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:22,740
Okay?

716
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,279
If I got even close enough to being

717
00:25:27,279 --> 00:25:27,779
comfortable

718
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,079
to be my full self Not for the

719
00:25:30,079 --> 00:25:32,099
faint of heart. They they

720
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,480
they would be so done with me so

721
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,380
fucking quick.

722
00:25:38,285 --> 00:25:40,204
But and that but that's another, like, sort

723
00:25:40,204 --> 00:25:42,285
of disservice to doms that you get kind

724
00:25:42,285 --> 00:25:44,125
of pigeonholed into, well, this is what I

725
00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:46,845
think dominance is. And then you explore dominance

726
00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:48,204
and you you get to feel some of

727
00:25:48,204 --> 00:25:49,440
that power. You get to have those moments.

728
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,440
Maybe you do speak harshly. Maybe you, you

729
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,440
know, you play with dirty talk and, you

730
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,399
know, verbal humiliation or who knows? Like whatever

731
00:25:56,399 --> 00:25:58,240
it is. And you're like, oh shit. I

732
00:25:58,240 --> 00:25:59,779
feel like I'm sounding like

733
00:26:00,319 --> 00:26:01,940
that stereotype, that cliche,

734
00:26:02,345 --> 00:26:02,845
that

735
00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:04,184
not the type of dom I want to

736
00:26:04,184 --> 00:26:05,545
be. What if this is who I am?

737
00:26:05,545 --> 00:26:07,085
And there's kind of a little bit of

738
00:26:07,384 --> 00:26:08,605
panic there maybe.

739
00:26:10,265 --> 00:26:12,765
That is, I think, truly more education

740
00:26:13,384 --> 00:26:15,224
and listening and paying attention to your fucking

741
00:26:15,224 --> 00:26:17,065
submissive. If they are loving what you are

742
00:26:17,065 --> 00:26:17,565
doing

743
00:26:18,319 --> 00:26:20,799
and they're not being harmed in a a

744
00:26:20,799 --> 00:26:22,099
way that's, you know,

745
00:26:23,279 --> 00:26:24,420
dangerous or

746
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,200
more dangerous than the average kink play outside

747
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,140
of risk assessment kind of stuff, I mean.

748
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:30,960
They're not doing things that you can see

749
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,654
are harmful to them or to you. It's

750
00:26:32,734 --> 00:26:34,755
not, you know, you're not having like

751
00:26:36,414 --> 00:26:37,934
I don't know. I don't want to say

752
00:26:37,934 --> 00:26:40,414
you're not having moral quandaries because sometimes you

753
00:26:40,414 --> 00:26:41,934
have the moral quandary because you have to

754
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:42,434
unlearn

755
00:26:42,815 --> 00:26:44,894
what, you know, society has taught you about

756
00:26:44,894 --> 00:26:47,539
how relationships are supposed to be. But I

757
00:26:47,539 --> 00:26:49,299
think there's a moment, it's sort of like

758
00:26:49,299 --> 00:26:50,980
the one you have, of I could tell

759
00:26:50,980 --> 00:26:53,539
her fucking anything and she'd believe it. That

760
00:26:53,539 --> 00:26:54,919
kind of moral quandary. Right?

761
00:26:55,299 --> 00:26:57,480
If if you're just giving and receiving

762
00:26:57,859 --> 00:26:59,700
in this way you've negotiated, I think the

763
00:26:59,700 --> 00:27:01,159
more you do that,

764
00:27:01,859 --> 00:27:04,424
the more you grow in confidence as a

765
00:27:04,424 --> 00:27:06,444
dom, and so the less that stereotype

766
00:27:07,224 --> 00:27:08,545
can be a worry for you. Because now

767
00:27:08,545 --> 00:27:10,505
you have the experience of being a dominant

768
00:27:10,505 --> 00:27:12,265
the way that you dominate. And that is

769
00:27:12,265 --> 00:27:14,424
true. As as as one learns and one

770
00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:17,569
grows and and becomes more, you know, comfortable

771
00:27:17,869 --> 00:27:19,490
in themselves. Yeah. That's

772
00:27:20,190 --> 00:27:21,169
absolutely true.

773
00:27:21,950 --> 00:27:22,450
Absolutely.

774
00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:26,450
Okay. I'm looking at my notes y'all. Okay.

775
00:27:28,349 --> 00:27:29,089
Hold on.

776
00:27:29,710 --> 00:27:30,210
Oh.

777
00:27:31,475 --> 00:27:32,914
We covered all the reasons I don't think

778
00:27:32,914 --> 00:27:34,355
you need to worry, but I'm gonna reiterate

779
00:27:34,355 --> 00:27:36,674
them Okay. Just to be organized in case

780
00:27:36,674 --> 00:27:38,595
that happens. So here's some reasons we came

781
00:27:38,595 --> 00:27:40,035
up with well, I don't think you probably

782
00:27:40,035 --> 00:27:42,115
need to worry. So I'll say it again.

783
00:27:42,115 --> 00:27:43,555
If you're thinking about this at all, I

784
00:27:43,555 --> 00:27:45,369
don't think you gotta worry. Abusers and people

785
00:27:45,369 --> 00:27:47,630
who don't care about boundaries are not asking

786
00:27:47,769 --> 00:27:50,329
themselves if they'll take things too far. They're

787
00:27:50,329 --> 00:27:52,809
they're not. They're not. They're seeing the line

788
00:27:52,809 --> 00:27:54,089
and going, oh, cool. I can do a

789
00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:55,309
cartwheel over it.

790
00:27:56,650 --> 00:27:57,390
Just a second.

791
00:27:57,769 --> 00:28:00,625
I I now would like to always imagine,

792
00:28:03,244 --> 00:28:05,164
people crossing lines by doing cartwheels. I'm just

793
00:28:05,164 --> 00:28:05,664
saying.

794
00:28:06,765 --> 00:28:08,684
Go back to what we said before. Dominance,

795
00:28:08,684 --> 00:28:11,164
big d dominance happens within the context of

796
00:28:11,164 --> 00:28:12,240
a negotiated relationship.

797
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,720
If you are not within that context with

798
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,880
other people Mhmm. I think all you have

799
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,960
to do is remember it. Remember what When

800
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,799
you get When you are big D and

801
00:28:20,799 --> 00:28:22,640
then every other time you're not, I think

802
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,295
it's harder when you're talking to your partner

803
00:28:25,295 --> 00:28:27,394
that you have a power exchange with,

804
00:28:28,174 --> 00:28:29,615
but this is a moment where you don't

805
00:28:29,615 --> 00:28:30,914
get to be big D dominant.

806
00:28:31,454 --> 00:28:33,315
That is a time thing. That's a communication

807
00:28:33,454 --> 00:28:35,315
thing. You can get better at that.

808
00:28:35,694 --> 00:28:38,910
And then also Mhmm. Dominance is intimate. That's

809
00:28:38,910 --> 00:28:40,349
with or without sex. This is not a

810
00:28:40,349 --> 00:28:41,250
sexual intimacy.

811
00:28:41,950 --> 00:28:43,970
Power exchange is intimate. Right?

812
00:28:44,509 --> 00:28:46,769
And I'm It's a mental intimacy.

813
00:28:47,070 --> 00:28:48,289
And emotional. Absolutely.

814
00:28:49,070 --> 00:28:49,570
So

815
00:28:50,349 --> 00:28:51,170
that means

816
00:28:52,394 --> 00:28:53,695
however you process

817
00:28:54,875 --> 00:28:57,035
feelings and intimacy, like how you feel it

818
00:28:57,035 --> 00:28:58,475
in your body, how your brain sort of

819
00:28:58,475 --> 00:29:00,654
goes, yes this is intimate, whatever whatever.

820
00:29:01,275 --> 00:29:02,414
That is a feeling

821
00:29:03,035 --> 00:29:04,975
that is so unique and specific

822
00:29:05,835 --> 00:29:08,170
that I cannot imagine too many people

823
00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:11,210
going into another space with other people

824
00:29:12,710 --> 00:29:15,190
and bringing their- in a negative way, bringing

825
00:29:15,190 --> 00:29:17,849
their big D dominance because they've somehow forgotten.

826
00:29:18,150 --> 00:29:21,269
Because it's- there's an energy between dom and

827
00:29:21,269 --> 00:29:22,335
sub. Right?

828
00:29:23,515 --> 00:29:24,494
Within a scene

829
00:29:24,955 --> 00:29:27,515
or just within you're just conversing with one

830
00:29:27,515 --> 00:29:29,275
another and you're in your roles and, you

831
00:29:29,275 --> 00:29:31,115
know, you're you're dealing with something in life,

832
00:29:31,115 --> 00:29:33,195
but your power exchange is part of it.

833
00:29:33,195 --> 00:29:36,009
Right? There's a there's an intimacy to that

834
00:29:36,009 --> 00:29:36,910
that you're not,

835
00:29:37,369 --> 00:29:39,529
I don't think, getting with just like a

836
00:29:39,529 --> 00:29:40,750
coworker. Right?

837
00:29:41,049 --> 00:29:43,450
So maybe you raise your voice or use

838
00:29:43,450 --> 00:29:44,990
your dumb tone,

839
00:29:45,690 --> 00:29:47,710
but that's not the same thing

840
00:29:49,194 --> 00:29:51,755
as interacting with all these people who you

841
00:29:51,755 --> 00:29:53,054
are not intimate with

842
00:29:53,434 --> 00:29:55,274
in the same way that you interact as

843
00:29:55,274 --> 00:29:57,194
a dom in an intimate way with your

844
00:29:57,194 --> 00:29:59,674
submissive. Right? So I just I think those

845
00:29:59,674 --> 00:30:01,274
are the reasons that most people probably don't

846
00:30:01,274 --> 00:30:03,569
have to worry about. I think it I

847
00:30:05,490 --> 00:30:07,169
think it's a I think it's a healthy

848
00:30:07,169 --> 00:30:09,089
sign that you're questioning. Right? That you worry

849
00:30:09,089 --> 00:30:10,769
you'll take things too far. That you won't

850
00:30:10,769 --> 00:30:13,009
have self control. That you'll go power hungry.

851
00:30:13,009 --> 00:30:15,009
That you'll, you know, you know, look at

852
00:30:15,009 --> 00:30:16,450
me. I can control things, so now I

853
00:30:16,450 --> 00:30:17,589
wanna control everything.

854
00:30:19,009 --> 00:30:19,424
Okay.

855
00:30:19,985 --> 00:30:21,664
And I don't think it's gonna happen, but

856
00:30:21,664 --> 00:30:22,785
I think it's good that you're thinking about

857
00:30:22,785 --> 00:30:23,285
it.

858
00:30:24,144 --> 00:30:25,744
Now here's the thing we were kind of

859
00:30:25,744 --> 00:30:26,565
touching on.

860
00:30:27,664 --> 00:30:29,345
And this is where I think it's more

861
00:30:29,345 --> 00:30:31,904
likely for people to maybe get confused and

862
00:30:31,904 --> 00:30:34,225
think they're bringing Big D energy to a

863
00:30:34,225 --> 00:30:36,740
space that that's not that should not happen.

864
00:30:37,039 --> 00:30:39,039
But it's what I said before that the

865
00:30:39,039 --> 00:30:41,539
skills you learn in power exchange are transferable.

866
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,299
Becoming more forthright and clear in your communication

867
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,119
because you got to practice with a partner

868
00:30:47,119 --> 00:30:48,400
so that y'all could have the power exchange

869
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,005
you want so you can like get freaky

870
00:30:50,005 --> 00:30:51,845
deaky with one another and you had to

871
00:30:51,845 --> 00:30:53,384
say the hard thing,

872
00:30:54,005 --> 00:30:56,884
right? Learning that skill, I hope to God

873
00:30:56,884 --> 00:30:59,285
it fucking transfers over to other shit. So

874
00:30:59,285 --> 00:31:01,684
you might find yourself speaking very clearly and

875
00:31:01,684 --> 00:31:03,630
forthrightly with a person you have never done

876
00:31:03,630 --> 00:31:04,529
that with before

877
00:31:05,390 --> 00:31:08,029
and being simple and plain and clear, but

878
00:31:08,029 --> 00:31:09,009
taking no shit.

879
00:31:10,029 --> 00:31:12,690
That's not just your big that's not a

880
00:31:13,070 --> 00:31:14,529
big D dominance thing.

881
00:31:15,150 --> 00:31:16,910
That's a thing that we all should do

882
00:31:16,910 --> 00:31:19,875
more of and have more healthy boundaries and

883
00:31:19,934 --> 00:31:21,535
sometimes we just need to say the thing

884
00:31:21,535 --> 00:31:23,075
that needs to be said. Right?

885
00:31:23,695 --> 00:31:26,414
That's not you taking advantage or showing no

886
00:31:26,414 --> 00:31:28,674
self control over yourself as a dominant.

887
00:31:29,134 --> 00:31:32,095
Communicating your boundaries more often and easier because

888
00:31:32,095 --> 00:31:35,279
you have just practiced with your submissive partner

889
00:31:35,820 --> 00:31:37,740
and you negotiated this power exchange and it's

890
00:31:37,740 --> 00:31:40,059
an ongoing negotiation. And sometimes you'll be like,

891
00:31:40,059 --> 00:31:41,500
woah. I gotta change the limit. Woah. I

892
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:43,440
can't accept that. I can't allow that.

893
00:31:44,539 --> 00:31:46,799
It's not an it's not an overnight thing.

894
00:31:47,019 --> 00:31:49,394
It's not it's not a you will think

895
00:31:49,394 --> 00:31:51,235
of this every time, but the more you

896
00:31:51,235 --> 00:31:52,615
do it in this situation,

897
00:31:53,315 --> 00:31:55,634
you and your partner, easier it is to

898
00:31:55,634 --> 00:31:57,015
do with other people.

899
00:31:57,555 --> 00:31:59,575
Not always easy, but easier.

900
00:32:00,115 --> 00:32:01,255
And the other thing

901
00:32:02,279 --> 00:32:02,779
is

902
00:32:03,559 --> 00:32:05,820
if your self confidence increases

903
00:32:06,360 --> 00:32:08,920
as a dom because you're embracing this side

904
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,680
of yourself being true to yourself, you're learning

905
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:13,259
new skills, you're having this amazing fucking relationship

906
00:32:13,559 --> 00:32:15,640
that you could not imagine you could have,

907
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,065
right? That increase in confidence might make you

908
00:32:19,065 --> 00:32:20,845
feel like your dom self.

909
00:32:21,384 --> 00:32:22,684
Yeah. But, again,

910
00:32:23,144 --> 00:32:25,065
you might walk into a situation with that

911
00:32:25,225 --> 00:32:27,465
that's not power exchange at all, not kinky

912
00:32:27,465 --> 00:32:29,005
at all. It's work. It's whatever.

913
00:32:29,465 --> 00:32:31,619
But you're still carrying that confidence

914
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,399
with you. That confidence is not just a

915
00:32:34,399 --> 00:32:36,799
I only am confident now when I'm doing

916
00:32:36,799 --> 00:32:38,480
this thing of this and this of. That's

917
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,099
the thing you carry with you

918
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,259
always and everywhere, right,

919
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,640
most of the time. And I could see

920
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,255
where there could be, like, a wire across.

921
00:32:46,255 --> 00:32:47,535
You're like, oh, shit. I feel like my

922
00:32:47,535 --> 00:32:49,615
dominant self because I'm feeling, like, larger than

923
00:32:49,615 --> 00:32:52,115
it fucking charged. No. You're just confident.

924
00:32:52,654 --> 00:32:54,974
You just you know? You're feeling good about

925
00:32:54,974 --> 00:32:56,894
yourself. Your self esteem is a little bit

926
00:32:56,894 --> 00:32:57,394
higher.

927
00:32:58,319 --> 00:32:58,980
You know?

928
00:32:59,359 --> 00:33:00,179
Yeah. Yes.

929
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,419
And that's just that's a

930
00:33:03,359 --> 00:33:06,319
And that's not necessarily a a bad thing.

931
00:33:06,319 --> 00:33:08,639
No. No. Not at all. There are plenty

932
00:33:08,639 --> 00:33:10,394
of you know, and it happens to subs

933
00:33:10,875 --> 00:33:12,154
too because I know it happened to me.

934
00:33:12,154 --> 00:33:14,634
As you embrace your whatever your true self

935
00:33:14,634 --> 00:33:16,714
is, air quote that, because that's a subjective

936
00:33:16,714 --> 00:33:17,214
term.

937
00:33:17,595 --> 00:33:19,755
But you, you know, if you feel like

938
00:33:19,755 --> 00:33:22,255
embracing your kink self role

939
00:33:22,875 --> 00:33:24,394
and it's a thing that's a part of

940
00:33:24,394 --> 00:33:27,400
you. Right? Or you embrace this, oh shit

941
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,079
I did a hard scary thing and now

942
00:33:29,079 --> 00:33:32,039
look at me enjoying life because I challenged

943
00:33:32,039 --> 00:33:33,900
myself to learn a hard scary thing.

944
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:36,940
That that confidence

945
00:33:37,275 --> 00:33:37,775
it's

946
00:33:38,955 --> 00:33:41,835
it just lives within you. It's just yours

947
00:33:41,835 --> 00:33:42,335
now.

948
00:33:42,714 --> 00:33:43,375
You know?

949
00:33:44,315 --> 00:33:45,835
And it will come out in different ways.

950
00:33:45,835 --> 00:33:48,494
But it happens to submissives. I promise you.

951
00:33:48,634 --> 00:33:50,795
The moment I understood myself, like, I didn't

952
00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:51,789
go through that, oh my gosh. I'm so

953
00:33:51,950 --> 00:33:53,150
listen. What does that say about me? Now

954
00:33:53,150 --> 00:33:55,230
now I went, oh, I know exactly what

955
00:33:55,230 --> 00:33:56,829
the fuck that says and I make a

956
00:33:56,829 --> 00:33:58,829
lot more sense. And I felt really good

957
00:33:58,829 --> 00:33:59,569
about it.

958
00:34:00,190 --> 00:34:00,690
Then

959
00:34:01,309 --> 00:34:03,170
over time and it's a lot less

960
00:34:03,789 --> 00:34:04,785
obvious to me

961
00:34:05,265 --> 00:34:07,345
at this point because it's kind of my

962
00:34:07,345 --> 00:34:07,845
everyday

963
00:34:08,224 --> 00:34:09,525
humdrum life now.

964
00:34:10,224 --> 00:34:13,344
But as I learned to negotiate for what

965
00:34:13,344 --> 00:34:14,485
I want and

966
00:34:14,864 --> 00:34:16,485
to be very vulnerable

967
00:34:17,905 --> 00:34:19,980
and allow some shit I had never allowed

968
00:34:21,179 --> 00:34:23,579
before. And to do some shit I'd never

969
00:34:23,579 --> 00:34:24,320
done before,

970
00:34:25,500 --> 00:34:28,059
the confident I I grew I my confidence

971
00:34:28,059 --> 00:34:29,500
grew and that bled over into other parts

972
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,340
of my life. Mhmm. You know? I think

973
00:34:31,340 --> 00:34:32,159
that's just

974
00:34:32,585 --> 00:34:33,404
how that

975
00:34:33,944 --> 00:34:35,804
happens and how that works. Right.

976
00:34:36,824 --> 00:34:38,525
But I think anybody who,

977
00:34:38,824 --> 00:34:41,085
in this case, we're talking doms, you recognize

978
00:34:41,224 --> 00:34:43,085
that feeling because you felt it

979
00:34:43,545 --> 00:34:45,484
in the scene, in the dynamic,

980
00:34:46,030 --> 00:34:47,250
talking to your sub.

981
00:34:48,030 --> 00:34:49,470
I could see where for a second you

982
00:34:49,470 --> 00:34:51,170
might confuse that with oh shit.

983
00:34:52,670 --> 00:34:54,030
Am I did I just put my big

984
00:34:54,030 --> 00:34:56,269
d hat on in the middle of this

985
00:34:56,269 --> 00:34:58,130
person talking about their fucking PowerPoint?

986
00:34:58,750 --> 00:35:01,505
I'm sorry. It's the twenty first century slide

987
00:35:01,505 --> 00:35:03,364
deck. Whatever. Fucking PowerPoint.

988
00:35:07,344 --> 00:35:09,824
I could see it as a new dom,

989
00:35:09,824 --> 00:35:11,684
I could see the confusion. But

990
00:35:12,545 --> 00:35:13,045
no.

991
00:35:13,530 --> 00:35:16,349
That's that's you reaping the benefit of what

992
00:35:17,130 --> 00:35:19,369
a happy, healthy power exchange can can do

993
00:35:19,369 --> 00:35:20,989
for you can be for you.

994
00:35:23,050 --> 00:35:24,039
So yeah.

995
00:35:26,514 --> 00:35:27,014
Yeah.

996
00:35:27,554 --> 00:35:28,914
I feel like there's something I wanted to

997
00:35:28,914 --> 00:35:30,215
ask you about all this.

998
00:35:31,635 --> 00:35:32,375
Did you

999
00:35:34,434 --> 00:35:36,275
the the things we talked about, like, what

1000
00:35:36,275 --> 00:35:39,014
sound like big d dominance, but isn't. Mhmm.

1001
00:35:39,570 --> 00:35:42,050
Did you have those experiences where as you

1002
00:35:42,050 --> 00:35:43,809
got more into power change, as you did

1003
00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:44,789
more of these things,

1004
00:35:45,730 --> 00:35:46,230
the

1005
00:35:46,610 --> 00:35:48,070
the confidence and the whatever

1006
00:35:48,930 --> 00:35:51,170
transferred over another part you're the skills transferred

1007
00:35:51,170 --> 00:35:52,390
over. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

1008
00:35:52,690 --> 00:35:53,190
Absolutely.

1009
00:35:55,484 --> 00:35:56,828
And that's all you got to say about

1010
00:35:56,828 --> 00:35:58,644
that. Give you. Yep. If anybody ever wants

1011
00:35:58,644 --> 00:36:00,284
to know, why does Kayla talk so much?

1012
00:36:00,284 --> 00:36:02,045
Because that is the podcast you would get,

1013
00:36:02,045 --> 00:36:02,545
y'all.

1014
00:36:02,844 --> 00:36:04,625
That is the podcast you would get.

1015
00:36:08,710 --> 00:36:10,710
Do you think other people in your life

1016
00:36:10,710 --> 00:36:11,769
noticed the change?

1017
00:36:15,910 --> 00:36:16,570
I think

1018
00:36:17,190 --> 00:36:18,329
some did. Yes.

1019
00:36:18,869 --> 00:36:19,369
Absolutely.

1020
00:36:19,829 --> 00:36:21,050
Did they was it

1021
00:36:21,910 --> 00:36:23,429
a they noticed it or was there a

1022
00:36:23,429 --> 00:36:25,335
reaction to it? Were they surprised? Were they

1023
00:36:25,414 --> 00:36:26,534
I I think it was a little bit

1024
00:36:26,534 --> 00:36:27,275
of a surprise.

1025
00:36:28,454 --> 00:36:30,074
Because what had you been like before?

1026
00:36:30,375 --> 00:36:32,135
Because you were mostly yourself. I mean Yeah.

1027
00:36:32,295 --> 00:36:34,135
Embracing dominance doesn't mean you become a whole

1028
00:36:34,135 --> 00:36:35,675
new person. Mhmm. But

1029
00:36:35,974 --> 00:36:38,619
the thing, the confidence and the To to

1030
00:36:38,619 --> 00:36:40,559
a certain extent, I mean, I'm I'm still

1031
00:36:41,660 --> 00:36:42,880
kind of this way, but,

1032
00:36:43,579 --> 00:36:45,739
you know, because I was off in my

1033
00:36:45,739 --> 00:36:47,820
corner just doing my work and, you know

1034
00:36:47,980 --> 00:36:50,239
Head down. Head down. Just, you know yeah.

1035
00:36:50,619 --> 00:36:51,519
Yeah. A

1036
00:36:51,905 --> 00:36:53,184
little bit of a leave me the fuck

1037
00:36:53,184 --> 00:36:54,964
alone vibe if I recall. Yeah.

1038
00:36:56,144 --> 00:36:56,644
I'm

1039
00:36:57,824 --> 00:36:59,664
not gonna lie. I like that some of

1040
00:36:59,664 --> 00:37:02,484
the skills are transferable because as the aforementioned

1041
00:37:03,105 --> 00:37:04,644
sisters who cannot

1042
00:37:05,679 --> 00:37:07,679
I don't know how people who are planners

1043
00:37:07,679 --> 00:37:08,420
and anxious

1044
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:10,800
can't make a fucking decision. I just don't

1045
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:11,300
know.

1046
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:13,780
Especially when they are very

1047
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,400
intent on having things the way they like

1048
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,019
them in their own, like,

1049
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,605
nuclear relate like, just them and a partner

1050
00:37:20,605 --> 00:37:22,525
or them in their household. Oh, they're gonna

1051
00:37:22,525 --> 00:37:24,385
do it the way they wanna do it.

1052
00:37:24,445 --> 00:37:26,065
But you get a couple of them together.

1053
00:37:26,204 --> 00:37:27,965
If he didn't use that tone, we would

1054
00:37:27,965 --> 00:37:30,045
just go hungry every fucking visit. We'd just

1055
00:37:30,045 --> 00:37:31,585
all be eating peanut butter and jelly.

1056
00:37:32,525 --> 00:37:34,440
I do like I do like it when

1057
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:35,179
you do it.

1058
00:37:35,639 --> 00:37:37,800
I've heard you. It's not oh, here's a

1059
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,900
way I here's a way I tease JB

1060
00:37:40,519 --> 00:37:41,019
about

1061
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:43,639
big d voices. Because we think about the

1062
00:37:43,639 --> 00:37:46,359
sharp tone, the, like, you're you're about to

1063
00:37:46,359 --> 00:37:48,375
be in trouble tone. There are other tones

1064
00:37:48,614 --> 00:37:50,394
that are is a Dom voice.

1065
00:37:51,815 --> 00:37:52,554
I knew

1066
00:37:53,175 --> 00:37:55,355
I knew we were not connecting

1067
00:37:55,735 --> 00:37:56,235
quite

1068
00:37:56,695 --> 00:37:57,355
as intimately

1069
00:37:57,655 --> 00:37:58,954
in our kink life

1070
00:37:59,335 --> 00:38:00,315
when I realized

1071
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:03,530
that Lola was getting called good girl more

1072
00:38:03,530 --> 00:38:05,230
than I was. Oh my god.

1073
00:38:05,929 --> 00:38:06,429
And

1074
00:38:06,809 --> 00:38:07,469
do you

1075
00:38:08,090 --> 00:38:09,929
do not question it. You know I fucking

1076
00:38:09,929 --> 00:38:12,010
said something. You know I made a snarky

1077
00:38:12,010 --> 00:38:13,230
comment about it.

1078
00:38:13,530 --> 00:38:14,144
Of course.

1079
00:38:14,864 --> 00:38:16,945
And it's not like JB, like, rolls over

1080
00:38:16,945 --> 00:38:18,644
and just does what the fuck I want,

1081
00:38:18,945 --> 00:38:19,445
but

1082
00:38:19,985 --> 00:38:21,204
he did take it to heart.

1083
00:38:22,465 --> 00:38:24,144
There's a little bit more praise in my

1084
00:38:24,144 --> 00:38:25,284
life after that.

1085
00:38:28,144 --> 00:38:30,539
Do I do I tease him about it?

1086
00:38:30,539 --> 00:38:31,780
Sure. Of course I do. Of course she

1087
00:38:31,780 --> 00:38:34,260
does. Because Lola is the best good girl.

1088
00:38:34,260 --> 00:38:36,819
I'm I'm not disputing that. That's that's a

1089
00:38:36,819 --> 00:38:37,719
fact. Okay?

1090
00:38:39,380 --> 00:38:39,880
But

1091
00:38:40,980 --> 00:38:43,380
when you as the specimen over there going,

1092
00:38:43,380 --> 00:38:44,114
you know, I'd like

1093
00:38:48,114 --> 00:38:48,195
like to be somebody's good girl too. Is

1094
00:38:48,195 --> 00:38:49,414
that a hot minute?

1095
00:38:51,875 --> 00:38:53,255
I'm just saying. So

1096
00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:00,500
I I for anybody who has this fear,

1097
00:39:00,500 --> 00:39:01,320
this worry,

1098
00:39:01,940 --> 00:39:02,920
you know yourself

1099
00:39:03,860 --> 00:39:06,019
more than than I I can't tell you

1100
00:39:06,019 --> 00:39:07,320
what you need to do.

1101
00:39:07,619 --> 00:39:09,539
So I would say check-in with yourself. You

1102
00:39:09,539 --> 00:39:11,480
know? Where are you worried about it happening?

1103
00:39:12,065 --> 00:39:14,065
Is it within the context of your relationship,

1104
00:39:14,065 --> 00:39:16,384
but outside your power exchange? That's a conversation

1105
00:39:16,384 --> 00:39:17,904
with your partner. Are you worried about it

1106
00:39:17,904 --> 00:39:18,404
happening

1107
00:39:19,585 --> 00:39:21,025
in other parts of your life that have

1108
00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:22,164
nothing to do with kink?

1109
00:39:25,260 --> 00:39:27,900
Ask yourself why. Like where's the fear coming

1110
00:39:27,900 --> 00:39:29,900
from? Is it the stereotype I'm gonna turn

1111
00:39:29,900 --> 00:39:32,079
into some big asshole meanie? Right?

1112
00:39:33,019 --> 00:39:33,760
Is it

1113
00:39:34,619 --> 00:39:36,239
because you're you're feeling

1114
00:39:37,420 --> 00:39:39,675
some of the feelings that dominance gives you,

1115
00:39:39,835 --> 00:39:42,074
you carry with you. Right? The ability to

1116
00:39:42,074 --> 00:39:45,275
communicate, the boundaries, the confidence. Right? And that

1117
00:39:45,275 --> 00:39:46,255
makes you uncomfortable.

1118
00:39:46,954 --> 00:39:49,355
Is it because you are sometimes surrounded by

1119
00:39:49,355 --> 00:39:49,855
motherfuckers

1120
00:39:50,155 --> 00:39:51,215
who need somebody

1121
00:39:51,515 --> 00:39:52,190
to go,

1122
00:39:52,650 --> 00:39:53,150
Hey,

1123
00:39:54,250 --> 00:39:55,949
we gotta get this done. Right?

1124
00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:58,750
Like think about what it is that you're

1125
00:39:58,809 --> 00:40:01,609
concerned about and then focus on that aspect.

1126
00:40:01,609 --> 00:40:02,989
What can you do

1127
00:40:03,369 --> 00:40:06,105
for yourself to remind yourself? Or and when

1128
00:40:06,105 --> 00:40:07,785
I say remind yourself, not to remind yourself

1129
00:40:07,785 --> 00:40:10,505
that you're gonna immediately, like, forget yourself, lose

1130
00:40:10,505 --> 00:40:12,265
all self control and become, you know, this

1131
00:40:12,265 --> 00:40:13,805
big asshole big d dom

1132
00:40:14,505 --> 00:40:16,585
again in a stupid fucking meeting about a

1133
00:40:16,585 --> 00:40:16,949
Power

1134
00:40:17,989 --> 00:40:19,449
Any I don't miss those things.

1135
00:40:20,230 --> 00:40:21,829
Like, what is it that like, can you

1136
00:40:21,829 --> 00:40:22,489
give yourself

1137
00:40:23,109 --> 00:40:25,349
a mental cue? Can you just go, hey.

1138
00:40:25,349 --> 00:40:27,909
Nope. This doesn't feel intimate at all. This

1139
00:40:27,909 --> 00:40:30,230
ain't the space. You know, talk yourself through

1140
00:40:30,230 --> 00:40:31,050
those situations

1141
00:40:31,445 --> 00:40:33,684
where you worry that it's gonna happen and

1142
00:40:33,684 --> 00:40:35,605
then see if you can't put little things

1143
00:40:35,605 --> 00:40:38,244
in place for yourself. Right? Like maybe it's

1144
00:40:38,244 --> 00:40:40,885
just a reminder about context. Maybe it's a

1145
00:40:40,885 --> 00:40:43,125
reminder. Hey. I am not naked with these

1146
00:40:43,125 --> 00:40:45,125
people right now, so I know this isn't

1147
00:40:45,125 --> 00:40:46,969
the time and space for that. Right? Like,

1148
00:40:46,969 --> 00:40:47,469
whatever

1149
00:40:47,849 --> 00:40:48,349
it

1150
00:40:48,889 --> 00:40:49,389
is.

1151
00:40:51,130 --> 00:40:52,829
And, you know and

1152
00:40:53,210 --> 00:40:55,769
like JB like JB, be aware. It it

1153
00:40:55,769 --> 00:40:58,525
will hit you in other times. The more

1154
00:40:58,905 --> 00:41:01,144
your partner puts their trust in you, the

1155
00:41:01,144 --> 00:41:03,305
more power you have, the more responsibility you

1156
00:41:03,305 --> 00:41:05,325
have. Yeah. To be careful with that power.

1157
00:41:05,704 --> 00:41:06,925
Yeah. Yes.

1158
00:41:07,864 --> 00:41:09,465
And then if you are a person who

1159
00:41:09,465 --> 00:41:11,385
has maybe you have multiple partners, you've ended

1160
00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:11,789
one relationship

1161
00:41:12,989 --> 00:41:14,710
next, then you just have to remember that

1162
00:41:14,710 --> 00:41:16,590
every partner you ever encounter is going to

1163
00:41:16,590 --> 00:41:17,329
be different.

1164
00:41:17,869 --> 00:41:20,349
Your what you did with this massive partner

1165
00:41:20,349 --> 00:41:23,150
over here, you may not do. You're gonna

1166
00:41:23,150 --> 00:41:24,750
be who you are as a dom. Like,

1167
00:41:24,750 --> 00:41:26,670
we all have our personalities as kinksters. Things

1168
00:41:26,670 --> 00:41:28,565
we like, this is who we are. But

1169
00:41:28,565 --> 00:41:30,404
the way we interact is dependent upon the

1170
00:41:30,404 --> 00:41:30,904
people.

1171
00:41:31,204 --> 00:41:32,964
So as long as you do not go

1172
00:41:32,964 --> 00:41:35,545
into every interaction with a new potential partner

1173
00:41:35,605 --> 00:41:37,684
with assumptions about this is how you dominate

1174
00:41:37,684 --> 00:41:38,964
and so this is how you're gonna treat

1175
00:41:38,964 --> 00:41:41,045
this person before you negotiated, before they've agreed,

1176
00:41:41,045 --> 00:41:43,440
before you're dynamic, whatever whatever whatever, you know,

1177
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,960
I think you're fine. I think I think

1178
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:45,780
you'll be fine.

1179
00:41:47,519 --> 00:41:48,980
And also, you know,

1180
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:50,719
be the kind of dom you wanna see

1181
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,179
out in the world. If you are,

1182
00:41:53,199 --> 00:41:55,619
you know, a victim to the stereotype of

1183
00:41:56,159 --> 00:41:58,335
true doms or this and you're like, I

1184
00:41:58,335 --> 00:42:00,677
think that guy's an asshole. I don't want

1185
00:42:00,677 --> 00:42:03,310
to be that kind of dom. Right? And

1186
00:42:03,310 --> 00:42:05,944
when I say guy, I do not all

1187
00:42:05,944 --> 00:42:08,286
doms are not men. All doms are just

1188
00:42:08,286 --> 00:42:10,627
like all subs are not female. But, you

1189
00:42:10,627 --> 00:42:12,760
know, you don't want to be that stereotype,

1190
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,699
right? Then don't be. You know,

1191
00:42:15,159 --> 00:42:17,579
embrace whoever you are as a dom and

1192
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,059
then be that person when it's appropriate.

1193
00:42:20,679 --> 00:42:22,059
JB's style of dominance,

1194
00:42:22,519 --> 00:42:24,135
some people they cannot handle

1195
00:42:24,434 --> 00:42:26,755
it. They don't understand it. They think it's

1196
00:42:26,755 --> 00:42:27,255
not

1197
00:42:27,555 --> 00:42:28,055
real.

1198
00:42:28,675 --> 00:42:31,555
You know, they think he's way too lenient

1199
00:42:31,555 --> 00:42:33,494
with me. He is to a certain extent

1200
00:42:33,635 --> 00:42:35,335
because that's what works for us.

1201
00:42:36,219 --> 00:42:37,980
Y'all just aren't there when he is no

1202
00:42:37,980 --> 00:42:38,880
longer lenient.

1203
00:42:41,180 --> 00:42:42,160
True true true.

1204
00:42:44,059 --> 00:42:45,900
Because that's part of what I think doms

1205
00:42:45,900 --> 00:42:48,219
need. Of all genders, of all identities, of

1206
00:42:48,219 --> 00:42:49,599
all types of people,

1207
00:42:50,285 --> 00:42:52,684
we need to see more flavors of Dom.

1208
00:42:52,684 --> 00:42:54,684
Right. We need to see that dominance can

1209
00:42:54,684 --> 00:42:56,525
look like so many different ways. It's not

1210
00:42:56,525 --> 00:42:58,765
just pigeonholed into one thing. Right. And it's

1211
00:42:58,765 --> 00:43:00,945
not that big thing you're scared of. It's

1212
00:43:01,885 --> 00:43:04,089
whoever you are as a big d, whatever

1213
00:43:04,089 --> 00:43:05,849
that means, whatever that looks like, as long

1214
00:43:05,849 --> 00:43:06,589
as it's consensual.

1215
00:43:07,609 --> 00:43:09,210
Somebody likes it if you're doing it with

1216
00:43:09,210 --> 00:43:11,050
a partner and they're still there and everybody's

1217
00:43:11,050 --> 00:43:11,550
happy.

1218
00:43:13,050 --> 00:43:14,750
So that is, air quote, real

1219
00:43:15,530 --> 00:43:16,750
dominance. Right?

1220
00:43:19,364 --> 00:43:21,144
So anyway, I guess I've done lecturing.

1221
00:43:22,164 --> 00:43:24,804
Yeah. Alright. Do you have anything else you

1222
00:43:24,804 --> 00:43:27,224
want? I don't think so. No. Okay.

1223
00:43:27,844 --> 00:43:28,244
So,

1224
00:43:28,804 --> 00:43:30,905
are we good? I don't know.

1225
00:43:33,549 --> 00:43:35,150
Keep it kinky, y'all. I will see you

1226
00:43:35,150 --> 00:43:35,809
next week.

1227
00:43:44,750 --> 00:43:45,250
Daddy.

1228
00:43:45,644 --> 00:43:47,085
Yes, baby girl? Can we talk about the

1229
00:43:47,085 --> 00:43:48,065
crickets? Sure.

1230
00:43:48,605 --> 00:43:50,445
You know, I think we're the pendulum is

1231
00:43:50,445 --> 00:43:52,945
swinging. Last week took so fucking long.

1232
00:43:53,324 --> 00:43:54,065
This week,

1233
00:43:54,605 --> 00:43:56,144
so fucking short. Mhmm.

1234
00:43:57,164 --> 00:43:59,519
I I got I guess I don't embrace

1235
00:43:59,519 --> 00:44:01,519
that not every episode has to be an

1236
00:44:01,519 --> 00:44:03,539
hour and a half. That's true. Sometimes

1237
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,300
you can sum up a topic

1238
00:44:05,599 --> 00:44:07,760
in a brief amount of time. Yeah. It

1239
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:09,519
doesn't feel right if I don't have lots

1240
00:44:09,519 --> 00:44:10,579
and lots of words.

1241
00:44:12,005 --> 00:44:13,364
Have I done my job if I have

1242
00:44:13,364 --> 00:44:15,364
not talked y'all's ear off? As the kids

1243
00:44:15,364 --> 00:44:17,605
call it, yapping, which I think we called

1244
00:44:17,605 --> 00:44:19,684
it yapping too. Did we just have different

1245
00:44:19,684 --> 00:44:22,105
context for it? Does it mean something different?

1246
00:44:23,045 --> 00:44:23,545
No.

1247
00:44:24,085 --> 00:44:25,059
I don't know.

1248
00:44:25,679 --> 00:44:27,380
The yapping. I'm a yapper

1249
00:44:28,559 --> 00:44:29,780
from way the fuck.

1250
00:44:30,559 --> 00:44:32,239
My family love I don't know how old

1251
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:33,519
I was when I first started talking. I

1252
00:44:33,519 --> 00:44:35,280
have no fucking clue. I don't care. But

1253
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,780
I do remember the stories of the family

1254
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,664
proudly proclaiming how that I was very

1255
00:44:40,964 --> 00:44:42,804
young when I started talking and once I

1256
00:44:42,804 --> 00:44:44,424
started, I have not shut up since.

1257
00:44:44,885 --> 00:44:46,105
That is accurate.

1258
00:44:46,885 --> 00:44:50,005
You actually know things are not doing well

1259
00:44:50,005 --> 00:44:52,505
if I'm really fucking quiet.

1260
00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:56,900
To the extent that if I get quiet

1261
00:44:56,900 --> 00:44:58,739
for too long, JB just kinda comes up.

1262
00:44:58,739 --> 00:45:00,179
It's a little What's wrong? It's a little

1263
00:45:00,179 --> 00:45:00,679
bit

1264
00:45:01,940 --> 00:45:04,980
like, somebody approaching, like, a a wild animal.

1265
00:45:04,980 --> 00:45:07,940
Like, he's real. He's moving slow. Right. He's

1266
00:45:07,940 --> 00:45:10,655
not making direct eye contact right away. Mhmm.

1267
00:45:10,655 --> 00:45:13,295
His voice is very calm and kinda low

1268
00:45:13,295 --> 00:45:14,195
and soothing.

1269
00:45:17,614 --> 00:45:19,474
And he'll check-in. Am I okay?

1270
00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:21,855
I've gotten better. You know, when you work

1271
00:45:21,855 --> 00:45:23,875
with some of these feral animals, it's

1272
00:45:27,109 --> 00:45:27,609
Look.

1273
00:45:27,989 --> 00:45:30,329
Chaos goblins are, to their core, feral.

1274
00:45:34,069 --> 00:45:34,809
Just hang

1275
00:45:35,829 --> 00:45:35,989
on.

1276
00:45:36,949 --> 00:45:39,014
The thing I've gotten better about though, when

1277
00:45:39,014 --> 00:45:41,174
I when I stop talking, I have withdrawn.

1278
00:45:41,174 --> 00:45:43,275
And there's there's all kinds of reasons. Right?

1279
00:45:43,734 --> 00:45:45,034
I've gotten better at

1280
00:45:45,894 --> 00:45:47,494
telling him what the hell's going on. It

1281
00:45:47,494 --> 00:45:49,414
is almost never at this point because I'm

1282
00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:51,014
upset with him. If I'm upset with him,

1283
00:45:51,014 --> 00:45:52,989
he'll know. We will be talking about it.

1284
00:45:52,989 --> 00:45:53,889
Don't you worry.

1285
00:45:56,829 --> 00:45:58,829
But for you know, I think a lot

1286
00:45:58,829 --> 00:45:59,809
of people can relate.

1287
00:46:00,190 --> 00:46:01,949
Most of my life, if I got really

1288
00:46:01,949 --> 00:46:04,429
quiet and somebody tried to, like, check-in, probably

1289
00:46:04,429 --> 00:46:06,134
because I didn't have a sense of trust

1290
00:46:06,134 --> 00:46:07,534
with them like I do with JB or

1291
00:46:07,534 --> 00:46:09,295
something, I'd go, I'm fine. I'm fine. Like,

1292
00:46:09,295 --> 00:46:11,135
how many of us have done that? It's

1293
00:46:11,135 --> 00:46:11,635
nothing.

1294
00:46:12,894 --> 00:46:14,914
JB does not get that privilege anymore.

1295
00:46:15,694 --> 00:46:16,914
JB gets to hear,

1296
00:46:18,494 --> 00:46:20,094
which I actually think is a good thing.

1297
00:46:20,094 --> 00:46:22,510
Yeah. It is. It is. It is.

1298
00:46:23,130 --> 00:46:24,730
And so I think you've learned some things

1299
00:46:24,730 --> 00:46:26,010
about me over the years when I finally

1300
00:46:26,010 --> 00:46:28,030
gone, okay. Here's the reason I'm crying

1301
00:46:28,650 --> 00:46:29,230
right now.

1302
00:46:29,530 --> 00:46:31,130
Here's what I'm lying about. Here's what I'm

1303
00:46:31,130 --> 00:46:32,889
thinking. Here's what's going on with me. And

1304
00:46:32,889 --> 00:46:34,574
you're like, holy shit.

1305
00:46:34,894 --> 00:46:36,734
Okay. I don't know what to do about

1306
00:46:36,734 --> 00:46:37,954
it, but I'll be supportive.

1307
00:46:39,295 --> 00:46:39,375
It's,

1308
00:46:40,414 --> 00:46:42,594
led to me receiving some interesting emails.

1309
00:46:43,454 --> 00:46:43,954
Yeah.

1310
00:46:45,295 --> 00:46:46,994
That those were times,

1311
00:46:49,340 --> 00:46:50,719
when my quietness

1312
00:46:52,460 --> 00:46:54,460
was not because there was anything wrong. It

1313
00:46:54,460 --> 00:46:56,380
was because I was grappling with all of

1314
00:46:56,380 --> 00:46:58,860
the, oh my god, this relationship and these

1315
00:46:58,860 --> 00:47:00,780
things we're doing and I'm this is so

1316
00:47:00,780 --> 00:47:02,460
far outside of my comfort zone. What do

1317
00:47:02,460 --> 00:47:03,885
you mean I have to I'm I trust

1318
00:47:03,885 --> 00:47:05,405
him. I trust him. What does that mean?

1319
00:47:05,405 --> 00:47:08,125
I don't thoughts. So many thoughts. So many

1320
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:08,625
thoughts.

1321
00:47:09,485 --> 00:47:11,965
You know, Awkwardish Panda I agree. Awkwardish Panda

1322
00:47:11,965 --> 00:47:14,045
says, in the year of our goddess 2026,

1323
00:47:14,045 --> 00:47:16,224
feral gremlin is the only correct energy.

1324
00:47:18,090 --> 00:47:20,829
Yes. Because I quite frankly, I don't think

1325
00:47:21,210 --> 00:47:23,210
this world is gonna change the way it

1326
00:47:23,210 --> 00:47:25,610
needs to until more of us are fucking

1327
00:47:25,610 --> 00:47:26,510
feral goblins.

1328
00:47:27,210 --> 00:47:27,869
Just saying.

1329
00:47:28,329 --> 00:47:29,070
Just saying.

1330
00:47:30,329 --> 00:47:33,315
I have been fucking glued to my Instagram

1331
00:47:45,315 --> 00:47:45,815
a

1332
00:47:47,059 --> 00:47:49,300
And we just need more feral goblins. That's

1333
00:47:49,300 --> 00:47:50,599
all I'm saying. Yeah.

1334
00:47:50,980 --> 00:47:52,280
Anyway I agree.

1335
00:47:53,460 --> 00:47:55,139
Silent asked if we talked about our new

1336
00:47:55,139 --> 00:47:57,300
lamp yet. No. We haven't. So our new

1337
00:47:57,300 --> 00:47:57,800
lamp

1338
00:47:58,340 --> 00:48:00,519
is Lola. Lola is our new lamp.

1339
00:48:01,155 --> 00:48:02,994
She has to wear a cone of shame

1340
00:48:02,994 --> 00:48:04,695
for a couple weeks. Yeah.

1341
00:48:06,195 --> 00:48:08,594
Well, she's she's had the problems with her

1342
00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:11,155
eye Mhmm. For some for a couple years

1343
00:48:11,155 --> 00:48:12,755
now. One. If you ever seen a picture

1344
00:48:12,755 --> 00:48:14,035
of her, she comes I mean, I know

1345
00:48:14,035 --> 00:48:15,539
we talked about it when it was all

1346
00:48:15,539 --> 00:48:17,539
sort of happening. Yeah. It's a very hazy

1347
00:48:17,539 --> 00:48:18,920
eye from an old injury.

1348
00:48:19,940 --> 00:48:22,280
It doesn't usually impact her negatively

1349
00:48:22,579 --> 00:48:24,039
Correct. But in the past,

1350
00:48:24,340 --> 00:48:26,739
a little bit It it has. And,

1351
00:48:27,940 --> 00:48:28,679
you know,

1352
00:48:29,614 --> 00:48:31,775
day before yesterday, actually, it was, you know,

1353
00:48:31,775 --> 00:48:33,315
kinda saw something that was

1354
00:48:34,655 --> 00:48:37,375
has both going, that's not quite right. That

1355
00:48:37,375 --> 00:48:40,574
eye was swollen and pink and yucky looking.

1356
00:48:40,574 --> 00:48:40,894
So we,

1357
00:48:41,534 --> 00:48:42,974
got got a hold of the

1358
00:48:44,650 --> 00:48:45,150
Veterinary

1359
00:48:45,690 --> 00:48:46,190
ophthalmologist.

1360
00:48:46,570 --> 00:48:47,070
Yeah.

1361
00:48:47,449 --> 00:48:50,170
That's wild to me. And, they were able

1362
00:48:50,170 --> 00:48:52,090
to get us right in, and apparently it

1363
00:48:52,090 --> 00:48:53,949
was mostly a good thing.

1364
00:48:54,570 --> 00:48:56,969
There were there had been some change in

1365
00:48:56,969 --> 00:48:57,710
her eye.

1366
00:48:58,914 --> 00:48:59,815
One of the things

1367
00:49:00,594 --> 00:49:02,135
that I do with the eye drops

1368
00:49:02,594 --> 00:49:03,494
twice a day,

1369
00:49:04,594 --> 00:49:06,295
to keep the eye from

1370
00:49:06,755 --> 00:49:07,255
ulcers.

1371
00:49:07,554 --> 00:49:10,514
Mhmm. Right? And said, oh Yeah. And, Ulcers

1372
00:49:10,514 --> 00:49:13,500
within the eye because of the imbalance of

1373
00:49:13,659 --> 00:49:16,059
the fluid. Correct. They were explaining it to

1374
00:49:16,059 --> 00:49:17,199
us, and I was just like,

1375
00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:18,559
okay. Just

1376
00:49:18,860 --> 00:49:20,400
tell us what to do. Yeah.

1377
00:49:20,860 --> 00:49:21,360
So,

1378
00:49:22,780 --> 00:49:23,440
she is,

1379
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:26,460
to keep her from from rubbing at her

1380
00:49:26,460 --> 00:49:28,545
eye because it it does get uncomfortable. And

1381
00:49:28,545 --> 00:49:29,744
they think that's part of what was happening.

1382
00:49:29,744 --> 00:49:31,505
Her eye was uncomfortable. She was rubbing or

1383
00:49:31,505 --> 00:49:33,744
scratching at it. Then she created an like

1384
00:49:33,744 --> 00:49:35,664
a sore ulcer in the corner of her

1385
00:49:35,664 --> 00:49:37,364
her eye, but not her eyeball.

1386
00:49:37,744 --> 00:49:39,824
Yeah. And so every time she would go

1387
00:49:39,824 --> 00:49:41,989
and scratch or rub at it, it would

1388
00:49:41,989 --> 00:49:43,690
make it worse and couldn't heal

1389
00:49:44,789 --> 00:49:46,630
up. So they Yeah. They were like cone

1390
00:49:46,630 --> 00:49:48,170
of shame. Yep. Cone of

1391
00:49:48,549 --> 00:49:51,130
shame. So we we she is now in

1392
00:49:51,349 --> 00:49:52,650
in cone of shame.

1393
00:49:53,670 --> 00:49:55,750
I am three times a day, I am

1394
00:49:55,750 --> 00:49:56,250
putting

1395
00:49:57,394 --> 00:49:58,135
a drop

1396
00:49:58,914 --> 00:49:59,414
of

1397
00:50:00,034 --> 00:50:00,534
antibiotic

1398
00:50:01,795 --> 00:50:02,295
Mhmm.

1399
00:50:02,675 --> 00:50:04,855
And then four times a day

1400
00:50:05,795 --> 00:50:08,034
with the other eye drops. And that is

1401
00:50:08,034 --> 00:50:08,534
about

1402
00:50:08,914 --> 00:50:09,574
the fluid

1403
00:50:10,030 --> 00:50:10,849
in the

1404
00:50:11,150 --> 00:50:13,070
That one helps remove the fluid that If

1405
00:50:13,070 --> 00:50:15,410
there's a pressure, if there's too much fluid

1406
00:50:15,550 --> 00:50:16,530
buildup and

1407
00:50:18,590 --> 00:50:20,670
Mhmm. And all of this is because at

1408
00:50:20,670 --> 00:50:22,829
some point, unbeknownst to us, maybe the cat

1409
00:50:22,829 --> 00:50:24,494
scratched her, maybe something else, she got an

1410
00:50:24,494 --> 00:50:25,795
injury in her eye.

1411
00:50:26,174 --> 00:50:28,255
And instead of just healing and going away,

1412
00:50:28,255 --> 00:50:28,755
it

1413
00:50:29,295 --> 00:50:31,394
it developed this cloudy thing.

1414
00:50:32,255 --> 00:50:34,755
And the more it developed the cloud thing,

1415
00:50:35,054 --> 00:50:35,954
the more the

1416
00:50:36,410 --> 00:50:39,450
fluid pressure thing anybody who understands eyeballs will

1417
00:50:39,450 --> 00:50:41,550
understand this way better than I'm explaining it.

1418
00:50:42,090 --> 00:50:42,590
And

1419
00:50:42,969 --> 00:50:44,890
yeah. The what I so we have now

1420
00:50:45,530 --> 00:50:47,690
she pointed it out at our appointment. We've

1421
00:50:47,690 --> 00:50:50,264
now met with every vet at the veterinary

1422
00:50:50,264 --> 00:50:50,764
ophthalmology

1423
00:50:51,144 --> 00:50:52,505
office. Yes. We have. Which is fine. They're

1424
00:50:52,505 --> 00:50:54,744
all lovely. Yeah. They they really are. They're

1425
00:50:54,744 --> 00:50:56,764
wonderful people. Yeah. So this

1426
00:50:57,144 --> 00:50:59,005
one explained what

1427
00:50:59,545 --> 00:51:01,724
we might be looking at in the future.

1428
00:51:02,025 --> 00:51:04,530
Yeah. And then that is surgery. You know?

1429
00:51:04,530 --> 00:51:06,369
She's like they said, we're gonna try, you

1430
00:51:06,369 --> 00:51:08,230
know, help you keep this at bay,

1431
00:51:08,929 --> 00:51:10,690
which means drops four times a day when

1432
00:51:10,690 --> 00:51:12,690
it was two times a day. Yeah. Taking

1433
00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:15,010
care of Lola and her meds is JB's

1434
00:51:15,010 --> 00:51:17,755
part time job. I I don't even get

1435
00:51:17,755 --> 00:51:19,994
mad that I am on cat litter duty

1436
00:51:19,994 --> 00:51:21,295
and cat pee duty

1437
00:51:21,835 --> 00:51:23,914
so often because, you know what? At least

1438
00:51:23,914 --> 00:51:25,054
I am not organizing

1439
00:51:25,514 --> 00:51:28,474
Lola's meds. She has her own, like I

1440
00:51:28,474 --> 00:51:30,554
I organizer pill I I had to get

1441
00:51:30,554 --> 00:51:32,380
a pill organizer for her,

1442
00:51:32,840 --> 00:51:34,840
because things were getting, you know, she takes

1443
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,019
this then, and she gets that now, and

1444
00:51:37,559 --> 00:51:39,640
and then, of course, there's later. Right. You

1445
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,140
know, I mean, she, you know, she she's

1446
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:44,599
getting to be an older gal and she,

1447
00:51:44,599 --> 00:51:45,260
you know,

1448
00:51:45,585 --> 00:51:46,085
and,

1449
00:51:46,864 --> 00:51:49,425
yeah. She she's on some different she's on

1450
00:51:49,425 --> 00:51:51,125
some supplements. She's on some medications.

1451
00:51:52,065 --> 00:51:54,005
So, you know, yeah. I I

1452
00:51:54,945 --> 00:51:57,284
I I tried so many different things,

1453
00:51:58,170 --> 00:51:59,690
you know, to keep straight with it, and

1454
00:51:59,690 --> 00:52:01,289
I I finally was like, no. I I

1455
00:52:01,289 --> 00:52:02,109
got the,

1456
00:52:02,650 --> 00:52:05,769
the pill minder. Mhmm. Mhmm. And that has

1457
00:52:05,769 --> 00:52:08,010
been a wonderful thing. And you should thank

1458
00:52:08,010 --> 00:52:10,250
God she is so good at taking pills.

1459
00:52:10,250 --> 00:52:10,750
Yeah.

1460
00:52:11,234 --> 00:52:13,574
Because she'll eat almost anything. Right. Right.

1461
00:52:14,194 --> 00:52:15,954
We don't have to fool her, trick her,

1462
00:52:15,954 --> 00:52:17,795
just pop it in with something. Because Saki,

1463
00:52:17,795 --> 00:52:18,434
we had to,

1464
00:52:19,074 --> 00:52:20,434
Oh, yeah. He would eat around it if

1465
00:52:20,434 --> 00:52:21,714
you didn't hide it. Yeah.

1466
00:52:24,034 --> 00:52:26,250
The cats are not like that at all.

1467
00:52:26,250 --> 00:52:27,769
I hope I hope, knock on wood, we

1468
00:52:27,769 --> 00:52:29,469
never have to give them a daily medication.

1469
00:52:29,849 --> 00:52:30,750
Oh my god.

1470
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:34,250
I was going somewhere with that. Yeah. I

1471
00:52:34,250 --> 00:52:35,849
can't remember where I was going with it.

1472
00:52:37,449 --> 00:52:39,824
But it's the eye drops. She hates and

1473
00:52:39,905 --> 00:52:41,344
I don't blame her. I don't like anything

1474
00:52:41,344 --> 00:52:42,804
coming in my eye either.

1475
00:52:43,505 --> 00:52:45,664
But that is when you get you talk

1476
00:52:45,664 --> 00:52:47,525
about it a lot, the reminder that

1477
00:52:47,984 --> 00:52:49,585
we know with pitties, I'm sure with other

1478
00:52:49,585 --> 00:52:52,164
dogs, when they don't want to be moved,

1479
00:52:52,659 --> 00:52:55,780
they won't that head gets so heavy. It

1480
00:52:55,780 --> 00:52:57,300
it does. It puts all like, that's all

1481
00:52:57,300 --> 00:52:58,420
her weight into it. Yeah. I don't know

1482
00:52:58,420 --> 00:53:01,239
what she's doing. I know. It's it's funny.

1483
00:53:01,300 --> 00:53:03,239
You know, she she tolerates

1484
00:53:04,179 --> 00:53:06,644
the eye drops. And because she's a very

1485
00:53:06,644 --> 00:53:08,244
good one. She she is. She's she really

1486
00:53:08,244 --> 00:53:10,005
is. We're very lucky. And,

1487
00:53:11,525 --> 00:53:12,825
you know, but she

1488
00:53:13,204 --> 00:53:14,184
lets me

1489
00:53:14,965 --> 00:53:16,025
know her displeasure.

1490
00:53:17,619 --> 00:53:19,960
I think it helps. Because get that

1491
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:21,000
that

1492
00:53:21,300 --> 00:53:22,359
that that pity grunt,

1493
00:53:22,820 --> 00:53:24,739
and then the head just kinda Her head

1494
00:53:24,739 --> 00:53:26,519
now weighs a million pounds. Mhmm.

1495
00:53:27,300 --> 00:53:28,760
But, you know, you have

1496
00:53:29,300 --> 00:53:31,335
you know you know the girls in your

1497
00:53:31,335 --> 00:53:32,235
life. Okay?

1498
00:53:33,894 --> 00:53:36,375
Much like her mother, Lola is quite food

1499
00:53:36,375 --> 00:53:36,875
motivated.

1500
00:53:38,135 --> 00:53:40,135
And so I think she also tolerates it

1501
00:53:40,135 --> 00:53:42,489
because she knows. She's getting the good snack

1502
00:53:42,650 --> 00:53:45,450
Right. After. Yeah. She and and she does,

1503
00:53:45,450 --> 00:53:46,030
you know.

1504
00:53:46,730 --> 00:53:48,570
Yeah. She she gets a good snack for

1505
00:53:48,570 --> 00:53:50,890
it. Yeah. So Now I think I might

1506
00:53:50,890 --> 00:53:52,349
have mentioned this last week

1507
00:53:52,809 --> 00:53:53,309
because

1508
00:53:53,690 --> 00:53:55,450
I had made the call and JB had

1509
00:53:55,450 --> 00:53:57,684
clutched his pearls, worried I was just gonna

1510
00:53:57,905 --> 00:54:00,545
send Lola off with a nefarious stranger or

1511
00:54:00,545 --> 00:54:01,045
something.

1512
00:54:01,744 --> 00:54:03,585
So when we go out of town in

1513
00:54:03,585 --> 00:54:04,085
February,

1514
00:54:06,785 --> 00:54:08,385
we have to board Lola, and we can't

1515
00:54:08,385 --> 00:54:10,619
board her at the vet. So I guess

1516
00:54:10,619 --> 00:54:12,619
this is the only place probably because that

1517
00:54:12,619 --> 00:54:14,619
other place never called me back. Okay. So

1518
00:54:14,619 --> 00:54:15,920
found the highest rated

1519
00:54:16,539 --> 00:54:18,859
places that, you know, dog border boarding places.

1520
00:54:18,859 --> 00:54:20,780
And the vet actually recommended these people. And

1521
00:54:20,780 --> 00:54:22,605
the vet recommended this one, and we

1522
00:54:23,164 --> 00:54:23,664
scheduled

1523
00:54:23,965 --> 00:54:27,324
our tour of the facility Mhmm. And their

1524
00:54:27,324 --> 00:54:29,644
meet and greet with Lola. Yeah. And Lola

1525
00:54:29,644 --> 00:54:31,164
will stay there for a few hours to

1526
00:54:31,164 --> 00:54:31,885
have a little,

1527
00:54:32,204 --> 00:54:33,264
She gets like a,

1528
00:54:33,565 --> 00:54:36,144
you know Yeah. Little field trip.

1529
00:54:36,684 --> 00:54:37,744
A doggy daycare

1530
00:54:38,650 --> 00:54:40,909
kind of thing. And if they do not

1531
00:54:41,130 --> 00:54:43,610
immediately love her, I'm not leaving her with

1532
00:54:43,610 --> 00:54:45,630
those people. Because I haven't met

1533
00:54:46,010 --> 00:54:47,849
a dog person. Like non dog people, I

1534
00:54:47,849 --> 00:54:49,309
get it. But dog people?

1535
00:54:49,769 --> 00:54:50,510
The only

1536
00:54:50,809 --> 00:54:53,364
dog people I've ever come across who did

1537
00:54:53,364 --> 00:54:54,985
not immediately love her,

1538
00:54:55,765 --> 00:54:57,224
we didn't like them anyway.

1539
00:54:57,525 --> 00:54:58,265
Like, before

1540
00:54:58,885 --> 00:55:01,605
before they gave Lola the cold shoulder Right.

1541
00:55:01,765 --> 00:55:04,005
We didn't like them. Yeah. Because here's the

1542
00:55:04,005 --> 00:55:04,505
thing.

1543
00:55:04,965 --> 00:55:06,485
We had a neighbor. The person who used

1544
00:55:06,485 --> 00:55:08,005
to own this house we bought it from,

1545
00:55:08,005 --> 00:55:08,905
she was terrified

1546
00:55:19,019 --> 00:55:19,519
planet.

1547
00:55:20,380 --> 00:55:21,039
I will

1548
00:55:22,219 --> 00:55:23,625
I creature on the planet.

1549
00:55:24,724 --> 00:55:26,025
I will I will hear

1550
00:55:26,565 --> 00:55:28,644
no argument on that. That is fact. Okay?

1551
00:55:30,085 --> 00:55:31,765
So, yeah, if they don't immediately fall in

1552
00:55:31,765 --> 00:55:34,164
love with her see Something's wrong. Right. For

1553
00:55:34,164 --> 00:55:36,244
her, it's gonna be, are you feeding me

1554
00:55:36,244 --> 00:55:38,070
and are you rubbing my my belly? And

1555
00:55:38,070 --> 00:55:40,170
if anybody does that, she's she's fine.

1556
00:55:40,789 --> 00:55:43,269
So yeah. JB does not doesn't have to

1557
00:55:43,269 --> 00:55:44,809
worry that I'm just gonna, like,

1558
00:55:45,510 --> 00:55:47,210
stick her in just any, you know,

1559
00:55:48,150 --> 00:55:50,730
ratty old rundown motel for dogs.

1560
00:55:51,750 --> 00:55:53,464
He gets to go tour the facility.

1561
00:55:54,644 --> 00:55:56,644
I tried to call. I did call. I

1562
00:55:56,644 --> 00:55:58,404
had to leave I've made a phone call,

1563
00:55:58,404 --> 00:56:00,644
so many fucking phone calls, with the other

1564
00:56:00,644 --> 00:56:01,144
place

1565
00:56:01,525 --> 00:56:02,884
to say, hey. Do because they didn't say

1566
00:56:02,884 --> 00:56:04,644
on their website if they offer tours or

1567
00:56:04,644 --> 00:56:05,784
anything like that.

1568
00:56:06,659 --> 00:56:08,019
And I was like, you know, is this

1569
00:56:08,019 --> 00:56:09,619
something you offer? Please let me know. Give

1570
00:56:09,619 --> 00:56:10,980
me a call. Blah blah blah. And they

1571
00:56:10,980 --> 00:56:12,980
have, like, on their voice mail, they're very

1572
00:56:12,980 --> 00:56:14,500
explicit. Like, these are the hours we will

1573
00:56:14,500 --> 00:56:16,099
not be returning calls because we are working

1574
00:56:16,099 --> 00:56:18,019
with our dogs. Blah blah blah. Yeah. That

1575
00:56:18,019 --> 00:56:20,519
was two days ago. And I was like,

1576
00:56:21,275 --> 00:56:21,775
apparently.

1577
00:56:22,155 --> 00:56:23,295
That's a lot of work.

1578
00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:25,215
Silent

1579
00:56:26,075 --> 00:56:27,914
Silent said, well, that's the trick, I guess.

1580
00:56:27,914 --> 00:56:29,355
If Kayla wants to hear more good girl,

1581
00:56:29,355 --> 00:56:31,215
she needs to start using eye drops.

1582
00:56:31,755 --> 00:56:34,155
Let me tell y'all, I am so ugh

1583
00:56:34,155 --> 00:56:36,329
about eyes. If I ever had to use

1584
00:56:36,329 --> 00:56:37,070
eye drops,

1585
00:56:37,930 --> 00:56:39,849
JB would have to hold my head and

1586
00:56:39,849 --> 00:56:41,530
do it for me like he does for

1587
00:56:41,530 --> 00:56:42,030
Lola.

1588
00:56:42,650 --> 00:56:44,590
The the only saving I'd need to,

1589
00:56:45,769 --> 00:56:47,930
tie you down. The only saving grace is

1590
00:56:47,930 --> 00:56:48,764
he would not have to get on the

1591
00:56:48,764 --> 00:56:50,684
floor with me. He could sit, like, next

1592
00:56:50,684 --> 00:56:51,344
to me.

1593
00:56:52,284 --> 00:56:53,644
But I would have to be have to

1594
00:56:53,644 --> 00:56:55,324
go, just daddy, just do it. Just do

1595
00:56:55,324 --> 00:56:55,824
it.

1596
00:56:57,964 --> 00:56:59,484
Also, can I have a snack when we're

1597
00:56:59,484 --> 00:57:01,660
done? Because I was a very brave girl.

1598
00:57:01,660 --> 00:57:02,400
You know?

1599
00:57:03,180 --> 00:57:05,099
Folks, I wanna tell you I wanna tell

1600
00:57:05,099 --> 00:57:05,599
y'all

1601
00:57:05,900 --> 00:57:07,739
what I do for this. It's so cute.

1602
00:57:07,739 --> 00:57:08,480
Okay? She

1603
00:57:09,019 --> 00:57:10,780
you know, she may joke, I may not

1604
00:57:10,780 --> 00:57:12,074
call her a good girl all

1605
00:57:13,434 --> 00:57:16,175
the time. Alright. This one fell in love

1606
00:57:18,074 --> 00:57:21,534
with the lime diet Cokes. Oh, y'all. Yeah.

1607
00:57:21,594 --> 00:57:22,795
I'm so sad. It was just like a

1608
00:57:22,795 --> 00:57:24,714
seasonal or a turkey. Right. Over the holidays

1609
00:57:24,714 --> 00:57:26,414
and then it then and then it vanished.

1610
00:57:27,449 --> 00:57:29,210
We were out yesterday and I told her

1611
00:57:29,210 --> 00:57:30,190
we need to go

1612
00:57:31,369 --> 00:57:32,429
We had to go to Walmart.

1613
00:57:32,730 --> 00:57:33,769
Yeah. JB had a,

1614
00:57:35,050 --> 00:57:36,030
a procedure yesterday.

1615
00:57:36,809 --> 00:57:39,389
I I they did an end

1616
00:57:40,425 --> 00:57:41,945
We can talk about that on Friday night

1617
00:57:41,945 --> 00:57:43,405
at the the chaotic

1618
00:57:44,105 --> 00:57:44,505
But,

1619
00:57:44,985 --> 00:57:46,905
anyway, I I told her we had to

1620
00:57:46,905 --> 00:57:48,985
go to produce section. I know. I kept

1621
00:57:48,985 --> 00:57:50,344
going, what the fuck? And I'm thinking in

1622
00:57:50,344 --> 00:57:51,785
my head, I'm like, I know what food

1623
00:57:51,785 --> 00:57:53,510
we have. I know what food we're cooking.

1624
00:57:53,730 --> 00:57:55,969
Usually it usually it's for bananas. And I

1625
00:57:55,969 --> 00:57:58,469
had asked three times, oh, bananas? Bananas?

1626
00:57:58,769 --> 00:57:59,269
Mhmm.

1627
00:57:59,809 --> 00:58:00,309
No.

1628
00:58:00,610 --> 00:58:03,989
My idea was that I remember years ago,

1629
00:58:04,449 --> 00:58:05,650
you used to be able to get the

1630
00:58:05,650 --> 00:58:08,230
lemon juice in the little Mhmm. Bottles that

1631
00:58:08,585 --> 00:58:09,964
look like a lemon.

1632
00:58:10,984 --> 00:58:12,184
So I wanted to see if you could

1633
00:58:12,184 --> 00:58:13,864
still get that and get the lime. So

1634
00:58:13,864 --> 00:58:15,384
I got her a thing of lime, so

1635
00:58:15,384 --> 00:58:17,784
she can make her own lime Cokes at

1636
00:58:17,784 --> 00:58:19,144
home. I could have put more in this

1637
00:58:19,144 --> 00:58:21,644
one today and I Okay. I'm experimenting because

1638
00:58:21,944 --> 00:58:22,444
you

1639
00:58:22,980 --> 00:58:24,739
you can put not enough in and just

1640
00:58:24,739 --> 00:58:26,099
add more, but you can't take it out

1641
00:58:26,099 --> 00:58:27,619
if you put too much in it. And

1642
00:58:27,619 --> 00:58:29,880
I'm not trying to ruin my diet Coke.

1643
00:58:30,260 --> 00:58:31,380
Well, I don't know if you saw on

1644
00:58:31,380 --> 00:58:33,099
the thing. It said, I think, one tablespoon

1645
00:58:33,380 --> 00:58:34,039
Two tablespoons

1646
00:58:34,340 --> 00:58:36,715
equals the juice of one One medium lemon,

1647
00:58:36,715 --> 00:58:39,054
I think. Lime. Yeah. Or lime. Yeah. Sorry.

1648
00:58:39,114 --> 00:58:41,295
And, typically, what I've when I've had

1649
00:58:42,474 --> 00:58:44,554
Diet Coke with Lime, like, at a bar

1650
00:58:44,554 --> 00:58:46,155
made for me, whatever whatever, it's like a

1651
00:58:46,155 --> 00:58:48,190
wedge. It's like just a little bit. Yeah.

1652
00:58:48,650 --> 00:58:50,429
It's refreshing. It's, you know,

1653
00:58:50,730 --> 00:58:52,969
still good. And here's the thing. If Diet

1654
00:58:52,969 --> 00:58:55,369
Coke is already 99%

1655
00:58:55,369 --> 00:58:55,869
water

1656
00:58:56,329 --> 00:58:58,429
and I add in lime juice,

1657
00:58:58,985 --> 00:59:01,864
which is some percentage of water. And it's

1658
00:59:01,864 --> 00:59:04,905
fruit. Right? Yeah. Fruit. So basically So you're

1659
00:59:04,905 --> 00:59:07,704
drinking sangria. Right? You're drinking sangria. No. I

1660
00:59:07,704 --> 00:59:11,385
am both meeting my water intake hydration goals

1661
00:59:11,385 --> 00:59:12,125
for the day

1662
00:59:12,579 --> 00:59:14,199
and getting a serving of fruit.

1663
00:59:16,019 --> 00:59:18,359
This is basically a salad. Okay?

1664
00:59:23,219 --> 00:59:24,659
At least you didn't say it was a

1665
00:59:24,659 --> 00:59:25,905
smoothie. No.

1666
00:59:26,445 --> 00:59:27,644
God. And it says I could add more

1667
00:59:27,644 --> 00:59:29,005
Diet Coke. Only if I have room in

1668
00:59:29,005 --> 00:59:30,445
the cup. Only if I have room in

1669
00:59:30,445 --> 00:59:32,065
the cup can I add more Diet Coke?

1670
00:59:33,085 --> 00:59:33,585
So,

1671
00:59:34,285 --> 00:59:36,285
yeah, it was very sweet. I'm we're in

1672
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:37,664
Yeah. Fucking Walmart.

1673
00:59:38,119 --> 00:59:39,960
And there's in every grocery store I've ever

1674
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:41,800
gone to, there's something about the produce section

1675
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:44,199
and the meat section. Everybody forgets how grocery

1676
00:59:44,199 --> 00:59:46,519
stores work and how carts work and where

1677
00:59:46,519 --> 00:59:48,059
they are in time and space.

1678
00:59:48,519 --> 00:59:50,375
And so I'm, like, trying to get through

1679
00:59:50,375 --> 00:59:52,775
the crowd of people who have got their

1680
00:59:52,775 --> 00:59:54,214
carts in every which way. And I don't

1681
00:59:54,214 --> 00:59:55,414
know where he's going and I don't know

1682
00:59:55,414 --> 00:59:56,855
what he's looking for and he won't tell

1683
00:59:56,855 --> 00:59:58,614
me because he's trying to surprise me and

1684
00:59:58,694 --> 00:59:59,994
but I'm, like, battling

1685
01:00:00,295 --> 01:00:00,795
everybody

1686
01:00:01,494 --> 01:00:03,734
in their cart. Produce is like its own

1687
01:00:03,734 --> 01:00:06,700
little side quest. Oh, God. It's like this

1688
01:00:07,260 --> 01:00:09,099
It's laid out differently than the rest of

1689
01:00:09,099 --> 01:00:11,579
the store. Of all the reasons, we do

1690
01:00:11,579 --> 01:00:13,260
not get enough fruits and vegetables in our

1691
01:00:13,260 --> 01:00:14,860
diet, I think the hell that is the

1692
01:00:14,860 --> 01:00:16,700
produce section is a little bit of it.

1693
01:00:16,700 --> 01:00:17,519
A little bit.

1694
01:00:18,380 --> 01:00:20,400
Well, hell, even at the farmer's market.

1695
01:00:20,905 --> 01:00:22,204
Yeah. People, like,

1696
01:00:22,505 --> 01:00:23,405
crowd it

1697
01:00:23,704 --> 01:00:25,545
and elbow each other out of the way.

1698
01:00:25,545 --> 01:00:26,525
Oh my god.

1699
01:00:27,144 --> 01:00:28,125
Oh my god.

1700
01:00:32,980 --> 01:00:33,480
So

1701
01:00:39,780 --> 01:00:40,260
anyway

1702
01:00:40,579 --> 01:00:42,340
no. I'll tell you later. No. I'll tell

1703
01:00:42,340 --> 01:00:43,699
you later. No. I'll tell you later. Oh,

1704
01:00:43,699 --> 01:00:46,840
yeah. Oh, boy. No, boy. It's weird because

1705
01:00:46,980 --> 01:00:49,405
I speak like, there's a term for it

1706
01:00:49,405 --> 01:00:50,284
and I can't think of it, but the

1707
01:00:50,284 --> 01:00:51,724
expression because mine is off the cuff. Like,

1708
01:00:51,724 --> 01:00:52,304
I just

1709
01:00:52,605 --> 01:00:53,105
extemporaneously?

1710
01:00:53,644 --> 01:00:55,184
I don't know. Words are hard.

1711
01:00:55,804 --> 01:00:57,885
And I kinda just have a like, there's

1712
01:00:57,885 --> 01:00:59,964
not always a filter from brain to mouth

1713
01:00:59,964 --> 01:01:01,105
in general, but

1714
01:01:01,659 --> 01:01:03,500
even with the mic and the camera. And

1715
01:01:03,500 --> 01:01:05,579
I just say what I'm thinking and I

1716
01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:08,239
thankfully I still have enough of a, like,

1717
01:01:09,179 --> 01:01:11,179
at least like a yellow flashing yellow light

1718
01:01:11,179 --> 01:01:12,320
slowdown situation

1719
01:01:12,940 --> 01:01:14,699
to go, oh, wait. No. That's not that's

1720
01:01:14,699 --> 01:01:15,465
not for everybody.

1721
01:01:26,585 --> 01:01:27,085
Alright.

1722
01:01:27,880 --> 01:01:29,319
Are you telling me we gotta stop Yeah.

1723
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:30,619
And be done? Mhmm.

1724
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,280
Is it because you really want me to,

1725
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,440
like, do a good job on this, chicken

1726
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:36,119
and dumpling and the crock pot recipe I'm

1727
01:01:36,119 --> 01:01:37,719
trying to earn? Absolutely. That's what it is.

1728
01:01:37,719 --> 01:01:39,239
Yeah. It's not because you're done and ready

1729
01:01:39,239 --> 01:01:41,264
to whatever, and you you got other things

1730
01:01:41,264 --> 01:01:43,025
you need to do. It's so that you

1731
01:01:43,025 --> 01:01:44,244
know that I will have

1732
01:01:44,704 --> 01:01:47,424
a better outcome of our dinner. Absolutely. That's

1733
01:01:47,424 --> 01:01:48,324
what it is.

1734
01:01:50,065 --> 01:01:51,284
That's what it is.

1735
01:01:52,590 --> 01:01:53,090
That's

1736
01:01:53,789 --> 01:01:54,289
what

1737
01:01:54,990 --> 01:01:55,490
it

1738
01:01:56,190 --> 01:01:56,690
is.

1739
01:01:57,390 --> 01:01:57,890
Anyway

1740
01:01:59,789 --> 01:02:00,289
I

1741
01:02:00,990 --> 01:02:01,490
don't

1742
01:02:02,190 --> 01:02:03,950
even I don't know. My brain just shut

1743
01:02:03,950 --> 01:02:05,950
off there for a second. I was reading

1744
01:02:05,950 --> 01:02:07,184
live chat and then I was trying to

1745
01:02:07,184 --> 01:02:09,025
like too. Yeah. Remember what I had been

1746
01:02:09,025 --> 01:02:11,425
saying so I understood the context? I'd already

1747
01:02:11,425 --> 01:02:11,925
forgotten.

1748
01:02:14,144 --> 01:02:15,684
And then my mind just, like,

1749
01:02:16,144 --> 01:02:17,765
wandered off the path alone.

1750
01:02:19,505 --> 01:02:21,265
And for, like, I guess, half a second,

1751
01:02:21,265 --> 01:02:23,200
it was just an empty shell sitting here.

1752
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,119
I don't know where I was, but I

1753
01:02:25,119 --> 01:02:25,940
was gone.

1754
01:02:30,239 --> 01:02:32,559
Oh, dear. So, anyway, I guess we're gonna

1755
01:02:32,559 --> 01:02:33,059
go.

1756
01:02:34,079 --> 01:02:37,224
Friday night livestream is this week. Reminder, reminder,

1757
01:02:37,224 --> 01:02:39,304
if you are not paying attention, pay attention

1758
01:02:39,304 --> 01:02:42,764
now. New start time on the Friday night

1759
01:02:42,824 --> 01:02:45,304
livestream. Just the Friday night livestream once a

1760
01:02:45,304 --> 01:02:46,605
month. 8PM,

1761
01:02:46,664 --> 01:02:50,510
eight eight, y'all. 8PM Eastern to 10PM Eastern.

1762
01:02:50,510 --> 01:02:51,730
It's two hours now,

1763
01:02:52,030 --> 01:02:53,170
but we start earlier

1764
01:02:53,550 --> 01:02:54,929
because we are old and tired.

1765
01:02:55,968 --> 01:02:58,928
Okay. Alright. We're gonna go. Okay. Bye bye.

1766
01:02:58,928 --> 01:03:00,548
Alright. Bye. Bye.