You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode
four sixty three. Kayla Lords here with the
one, the only, the slightly less grumpy than
you were twenty minutes ago, John Brown's time.
Yeah. Which okay. We're time travelers. Mhmm. If
you listen to the Monday episode, you will
hear me talking about that he is grumpy.
We recorded that first.
And it is, hopefully,
in this, episode that we talk a little
bit about why he's grumpy, justifiably
so. I'm not I let me reiterate,
which for y'all is the first time, and
I'll be reiterating on Monday.
Time travel is so weird. I do not
blame you for being grumpy, and I'm not
gonna try and get you out of the
grumpiness. Thank you. Fully justified.
K. But you know why? You wanna know
I'm not? One is justified. Two, you haven't
pointed that grumpiness at me, and I appreciate
that. That's true. I do appreciate that. Mhmm.
Mhmm.
Mhmm. Anyway,
we will actually probably talk about that in
this episode, but that's not really what this
episode is. This episode is, more than what
I thought it was gonna be,
but still not
what we usually do. So first of all,
we're gonna do,
a couple of new things while also just
turning this into a bonus,
section episode. So if you never stick around
for the bonus section, that's not your jam,
feel free. Bounce now. Have a good, weekend.
We hope to catch you next week. Okay.
For everybody else, yeah, we we're gonna just
we're gonna it's gonna be chatty and chaotic,
but without a purpose. It's always chatty and
chaotic, but usually with a purpose. True. True.
Just not this time. Mhmm. Welcome to the
Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first
time listening, glad to have you. And, yes,
it's always like this. If you're back for
another week, welcome back. Loving BDSM is produced
every Monday and Friday for your kinky pleasure
and education, and show notes are found at
lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and follow the show on
FetLife at loving BDSM PC
on Instagram and technically threads at that handle
I will forever fucking hate, which is loving
d s and the number one. So it's
at loving d s one.
On blue sky at lovingbdsm.
Blah blah blah. Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm
where you can watch us live stream the
podcast every Wednesday.
All links are in the show notes.
A big thanks as always to our kinky
patrons over on Patreon,
including our newest peeps.
We are
fucking grateful for every fucking one of y'all.
We would not have made it this far
and this long in the podcast without our
Patreon community.
We hope we give back as much as
we receive
for sure.
If you would like to be, what we
call the proud crooks over, on Patreon with
us, you can do that. You can join
for as little as $2 a month and
you get access to our Discord server. That
is the only way to get access to
our Discord server.
You
can get access to extra content. Game night,
we're doing that this month. Movie night, we're
doing that next month.
All kinds of fun stuff.
And when you do,
you'll be helping us out, letting us keep
being weirdos on the Internet,
and hopefully making kinky friends in our very
chill
fucking kinky community.
I mean, it's chill in the fact that
it's very relaxed. It is.
When people get into heated debates, they really
get into heated
debates though. That's true. But in a very
adult way. So it's kinda nice. Everybody, everybody
plays well together. I like the thing it's
our nice little quiet corner of the internet.
Yeah. Definitely my vibe for sure.
Anyway, if I haven't scared you off and
that sounds like you're something you might be
interested in, it's patreon.com/kaylalords.
That's patreon.com/kaylalords
or the link is in the show notes.
Okay. Before we get into,
you know, the the stuff we're gonna do,
I'm so happy to be able to announce
because I didn't know if I was going
to be able to. We will be streaming
this coming Friday night. I wrote the date
down. Hold on. I looked at a calendar
and everything, y'all.
Friday, November 21 at 09:30PM
for our monthly virtual munch Friday night livestream.
Mhmm. We are more chaotic.
It's just who we are.
But also we'll answer
your questions,
kinky q and a during that live stream.
So, yeah, that's coming.
Hope y'all can make it.
If your your schedule does not allow for
the Friday night live streams, these pure bonus
section episodes are a slightly milder form, I
think. Mhmm. We some
we don't get, like, crazy kinky on the
Friday night ones. It's just
even more relaxed.
And even more chaotic. I think I just,
like, embraced the chaos more for Friday night.
I have I'm trying to just embrace the
chaos for the Wednesdays, but
I'm trying to actually impart
some amount of knowledge to those who might
be seeking it so I don't feel good
about being too chaotic on a Wednesday.
But at some point I think you just
have to embrace it. I don't know. I
don't
know. So
let's start with, why we didn't think we
would be here, but here we are. Mhmm.
And then we'll get into the the only
structured thing I have that we've never done
before. And then it'll just be chatty, and
it'll just be bonus section. Hold on. I
can't sit in my chair correctly. Okay. There
we go. I was just somehow sliding out.
I don't know how. It happens.
So
YouTube must have
updated an algorithm,
fired actual people, and turned some AI on.
I don't know.
But out of nowhere, over the course of
about two or three weeks, we started getting
channel strikes. First, stuff we should not have.
One was on principle we should not have.
But, okay, technically, I knew that that broke
the rule. Even though I did completely
submit an appeal anyway.
But that first channel strike was like, oh,
let me tap your hand.
Naughty. And I don't like to be naughty.
I mean Well
Anyway,
I don't like to be perceived as somebody
who broke a rule. That's what I don't
like.
But then a couple weeks later, three weeks
later, I don't know. How does time work?
They we got another strike for a thing
that was definitely not breaking the rules. They
said when we linked to our own site,
we linked to a site with sexual content,
pornography, and nudity. And I was like, no.
The hell we didn't.
I know that site. That's my site. Right.
If I linked to other sites that I
have, maybe, but not that site. So I
did put in the appeal, but they had
said since we'd had two YouTube strike channel
strikes so close to another, we were grounded
for a week. We could not post to
the community tab. We could not upload a
video. We could not live stream. Now here's
the thing I hate. Just let me post
to the community tab. Let me tell the
people
that we're not gonna be there for a
week. You can't even do that. So I've
submitted an appeal for that one knowing I
was right on that one, but they take
forever on appeals.
And then yesterday, day before recording Tuesday, I
happened to go into the
the dashboard,
YouTube Studio,
and
the second strike was off, was gone. And
we were just back to warning, and I
went, what?
So they let us out of the corner.
I would say nobody puts baby girl in
the corner, but JB puts baby girl in
the corner. But she does baby girl does
not give JB a reason to put her
in the corner. Thank you for that. Again.
Not on purpose. That's for damn sure.
So, yeah, what we had decided to do,
we were like, oh, shit. We're not gonna
be able to do our Wednesday livestream. We're
like, oh, we'll record an audio podcast and
it'll just be a giant bonus section because
that's, you know, that way we're still showing
up,
but, you know, we're not
YouTube won't be missing, like, a topic that
might be of interest. And I won't be
trying to upload an hour and a half
long video
and asking my poor little Mac to, like,
render that video and export that file.
So
we're doing what we were gonna do for
audio only. We're doing it for the, livestream
YouTube side as well. But as that was
happening, while I was in the back end
of YouTube finding out that we were no
longer in the corner Mhmm. So when I
started seeing that that there were comments on
the YouTube video that also went along with
an email that I had received, I was
like,
oh, yay. Nobody's yelling at me.
I really appreciate that. And there had been
some really thoughtful comments Okay. From both
last week's main episode, on soft media. Some
and even even though I had to upload
the YouTube video late because we were in
the corner,
some comp a good helpful comments on our
q and a episode for this week. The
one about the The collar. Yeah. I know
you got confused. You're like, we just recorded
one of those. Yes. That's next week's. So
we're gonna do a thing we've never done
and go over some of these comments because
one, they're like eye opening and educational. Two,
that that commentary might help somebody else. Mhmm.
So that's what we're gonna do. And then
we'll get into our chatty bullshit.
Okay.
Yay. So And that's that for that.
You're copying me. Or
I said that earlier. Yeah. Okay. And you
smiled at me when I did. And there
we go. Now we're twinsies.
Full circle.
We're something.
Okay. So let's start with I have to
look at my
screens. Okay. Let's start with OnSoft BDS app.
Thank you everybody who,
sent something and commented and not yelling at
me because you disagree with me. The the
thing that made me go, I really wanna
read this. I want to read what was
written,
in a an episode was the first email
I got. And the moment I started reading,
I went, oh my god. I think I've
actually heard of this, but not in this
kind of detail. And this is on soft
BDSM.
Okay.
And I'm not gonna say the person's name.
Let them keep their anonymity, but you know
who you are once I start reading. It
says, I just listened to this week's episode,
and I felt like the conversation and a
potential explanation might benefit from what I've seen
as a dominant woman.
The soft dom label has been around for
quite a while within the femdom community. It's
because so many people, mostly submissive men, take
their images of DS and femdom from porn.
Dominant women in porn are almost always depicted
as harsh, cruel, shouty bitches
that have no regard for the submissive man.
The femdom world is full of references to
men as worthless pigs, worms, etc.
I don't think this exists in the same
way in male domfemsub
material. They I think you would be right.
I don't think it exists in quite the
same way either. So submissive men come into
the community with this image of the dominant
person as they've seen in porn and social
media. They think that BDSM and DS are
all about harsh degradation and a disregard for
any desires of the submissive man.
Then they hear that people have actual relationships
and they themselves want a relationship that involves
actual love and respect, but they've never seen
that before. And it's
incongruous,
I can speak, with the image they have
of BDSM. So the femdom community created this
label of soft dom to describe what is
really just considered lifestyle d s. The differentiator,
I can speak, isn't so much about hard
versus soft. It's about porn versus real life.
Take a search in the femdom spaces and
you'll see tons of conversations about soft doms,
also sometimes labeled gentle femdom,
another term that male dom relationships don't use.
Yeah. No. I've I've not seen that term
at all. There are even multiple FetLife groups
and subreddits dedicated to gentle femdom and soft
doms. I don't think these exist outside of
femdom.
It's a term that has no generally accepted
definition. And when I've asked submissive men who
use the term what they mean, it's always
just a description of a realistic day to
day DS relationship. They say things like, I
still want affection or I want someone who
isn't mean all the time. Bless their hearts.
I've also heard, I don't want severe pain.
And when I've asked for more information,
they've described having reasonable limits and being able
to have boundaries.
Again, this started because of femdom porn,
femdom porn and how most submissive men get
their information about BDSM.
I'm actually a bit surprised that the terminology
is spreading over into the rest of the
community. I can see how it would be
very confusing in the context of a male
dom and or femsub
or them sub relationship.
Hope this adds some perspective and context for
where the soft term is coming from.
Thanks for the excellent discussion on the podcast.
Thank you for your amazing one. The moment
I'm reading this, I'm like, I have heard
and when I say I've heard nothing in-depth,
I'm not in femdom spaces. There's no reason
for me to be in femdom spaces. But
I was like, I feel like, yes. This
I recognize this from somewhere. Okay. And
I
kind of wish I'd had this insight when
we did do the soft
dom versus hard
dom
episode ages ago,
but it does make sense. And I do
like the fact that in this community, and
again, no community is a monolith, so there'll
be some people who do view this differently
even in FemDome spaces.
Porn versus real life, you know? Yeah. I
can see why you have to make that
distinction.
Yeah. And definitely,
I don't know. Maybe it's more so with
FemDome because of I mean, even pop culture
references to dominatrix
is
I mean, some people yeah. That's that is
what they're like, but that's not all of
Yeah. Not all of it. That's not all
of it. And it is a very, like,
harsh,
degradation filled kind of, like,
way of being.
So that makes that all makes sense to
me. And I think if I had,
had even an an acknowledgment in my head
of this, maybe I would have gone to
some FemDome spaces and seen Mhmm. Something more
helpful.
So thank you for that. So that's the
that's the one that started me going, I
want to share these things online with others.
Let's see. Okay. Nope. Wrong one. This one.
Okay.
So I'm gonna try and go in chronological
order here.
Okay. Somebody commented,
I'm very happy to see that there are
people who identify as quote soft BDSM.
People like myself who like restraints and bondage
but in a very romantic, sweet, relaxing way
without any humiliation, pain, or psychological domination might
need this kind of representation in BDSM.
Sadomasochism
playing with limits and degradation. There are people
who dislike it but still might enjoy some
kind of power exchange. I often feel alone
with my preferences and I'm afraid of being
misunderstood.
Finding books or other erotic content about romantic
bondage is so hard because everyone seems to
prefer it harder. So I hope that we
will see more soft BDSM representation in the
future.
What I would love to see is and
I know I'm pipe dreams here. I'd like
to see a world in which there is
no single type of play that's supposed to
be
the face of BDSM. Yeah. I I get,
like, how and why it would happen,
but,
you know, yes. I I somebody either new
to kink or just only in specific spaces,
that is a lot of what you're gonna
see because it's the trope. It's the cliche.
Even if it is true for some people,
it's the stereotype.
Right.
It's
it's that's a little bit of why this
podcast exists because I was like, yeah. Yeah.
Well, let's talk about reality. Let's talk about
a different view of BDSM that is not
just that. So my dream would be, well,
BDSM can really be the umbrella term it
needs to be. Mhmm. But I get where
somebody, you know, would appreciate
an identifier to know that they're not
in a very specific
realm of
BDSM.
Yeah. Makes sense. I know I'm going a
little bit like a freight train. You are.
Just trying to, like, slow down and go,
what are your thoughts?
I mean, you are in control around here,
so I do feel like you would you
would tell me.
Okay. Somebody else says Okay. I imagine this
term is very useful for people who do
not enjoy impact play slash degradation
and who wants to be able to communicate
this quickly when looking for play partners? I
think that's fair enough. I think the issue
with this comes from the intention of using
the term. If the intention is to communicate
you enjoy the controlling aspects of BDSM without
the impact, degradation, forcefulness of it, all good.
But if you're using it to separate yourself
from the wider BDSM community because you have
hang ups about the more degrading forceful pain
related BDSM, then that's no good. Yeah. I
think that's fair. I do think that's fair.
I do. I I still
okay.
This is because I am this kind of
person.
I would rather
us be able us as the generalist, be
able to be specific and say I want
power exchange and BDSM without and then list
the things
without instead of the shorthand of soft BDSM.
Simply because there's so much room for misinterpretation
of a single term like that when somebody
has a very specific
meaning for it. I go back to what
I said in the episode. If the commute
the at large community
comes up with
mostly understood
easily accessible definition of what soft BDSM is
that
can be then disseminated and people can go,
okay. That's what's then I might personally not
like the term, but I can get behind
that because then there's a definition
behind this very fuzzy term. Right now there's
no clear definition.
I think the one thing I've seen is
I don't want degradation, I don't want pain.
Right. But most of the time I just
want people to be able to go, hey,
I want BDSM
without
pain and degradation. Right? Right. Without impact. Mhmm.
I mean, I that's what I would hope.
That that's kind of, you know, what the,
the checklist is for too. Right. Exactly. When
you when you sit down with somebody, you
you go through the checklist. Well, I like
this, but I don't want that.
Agreed. Agreed. And then,
this person, gave a perspective I had not
heard, and I
I liked it too. It's completely different from
the others. It's the last one though. We
don't have any definitive evidence for this but
we're pretty sure the popularization
of hard slash soft kink dom BDSM terminology
comes from fandom culture,
specifically erotic role play communities
on Twitter and Tumblr in the late twenty
tens to early twenty twenties.
We've seen a lot of, erotic role play
account intro posts talking about, quote, hard kinks,
coming up in fandom related Twitter searches over
the years.
I could see where
I can see where disparate groups could come
up with the same words
and terms Mhmm. But from different completely different
angles.
True. Yeah. Mhmm. I mean, I have no
experience in that side of the Internet.
Mhmm. So,
you know, can't judge
how widespread or common it might be. Correct.
But it would not be
unusual to me for this
group,
this community to come up with a term,
and this community to come up with a
term. And the the,
terms
overlap or are about the same. Because what
that tells me, even though I hate to
have to, like, concede this point because I
don't really love the term Mhmm. Because it's
too imprecise.
What that tells me though is there needs
to be
some kind of term
shorthand
for this type of BDSM versus that type
of BDSM.
You know?
And I don't mean that there needs to
be for, like, the community, but, like, maybe
as an entry point. You know?
Because how many people go,
I can't do BDS. We've seen it. I
can't do BDSM because I don't want the
whips and the chains and then this and
that. I'm over here going, I don't want
it either.
So I don't want either.
But there's no
there's no from the outside looking in
way to
come in without you have you better
happen to come across somebody online or go
do a thorough
search Yeah. And have an idea of what
you're even looking for or stumble across somebody.
Yeah.
So I will concede that point that maybe
there does need to be
a term.
I don't I don't I don't deny that
there needs to be something. There needs to
be a way to talk about it Yeah.
Even if it's not a term. Maybe it's
not a term. There just needs to be
a way. Yeah. But, you know, the Internet
and specifically social media is where nuance goes
to die. So something like a conversation about
wanting the power elements and the the control
elements
mixed with,
sensual
the only word I can come up with
even though I hate it is softer side
of kink
instead of the,
the stereotype
of the
the degradation and the pain and the this
and the that. You know? I want a
world where we can just say that.
We don't live in that world. So I
know.
So those were, some of the comments that
we got.
I did see somebody. They, is it called
retweeting or just reposting or quote posting? What
it's blue sky. It's not Twitter. Mhmm. So
I'm not going back to that hellscape. Mhmm.
Who,
reposted, quote posted,
a thing I've a link I shared to
the soft BDSM episode last week, and they
said
that,
they refer to themselves as a highly sensitive
person, meaning that touch, certain types of sensation
on their skin can be very painful.
That they would love to know that there's
a thing like air quote soft BDSM
where it's not about intense stimulation.
Mhmm. And see, but I you know, for
them for that specific case, that makes sense.
Sure. There needs to be a way to
let somebody know that not everything will be
not everything has to be intense. But if
I'm talking in the the broader soft BDSM,
intense
Mhmm. Is not just pain. Most people think
pain and intense. Oh, I don't want anything
intense. It's like, yeah. But,
even a gentle,
orgasm,
forced orgasms
become intense at a certain point. Right.
Yep. Or
or even consistent, like,
how how long can your partner go down
on you and and
make you orgasm? At what point
do you stop it when it becomes air
quote intent? Like, the Mhmm. The terms are
just imprecise. Yeah. From that person's very specific
viewpoint, I could see that.
Mhmm. That that makes sense that they need
a term to know
what they you know, how to explain it.
But I think it's because we just want
things to be an easy explanation, and I'm
here to be the killjoy that tells you,
actually, you need more than two words
to describe what you're actually looking for. Right.
Yeah.
I know that's not really a popular take,
but whatever.
I've been a word girl my whole fucking
life, and I just think you need I'm
not known for brevity and and being concise.
You know? Just saying.
And and you need more than two words.
That's what I'm
saying.
Okay. And then the next one Mhmm. Just
because I found this helpful. At least one
comment was super helpful to me.
Our most recent q and a episode is,
a medical
professional who can't wear their collar. Mhmm. They're
looking for other ideas. But, you know, with
that
framing of
in the in the health care field where
there are all kinds of reasons where you
could not wear a collar, which I would
imagine probably in some ways can relate in
law enforcement
and,
even military kind of things or might be
specific things because of requirements and policies and
safety that you can't wear. So people were
very helpful with ideas.
One was in our Discord. K. In our
Discord,
we do have a channel for,
episode discussion. Great.
And so let me find it.
Again, I will,
not say names so everybody can keep their
anonymity.
They say, I wore a collar, air quote
that, for fourteen years of my military career,
it was a ring on the opposite hand
to my wedding ring. No one blinked. I
had silicone stand ins for when safety was
an issue. And when deployed, I had a
third dog tag made that read property of
and then their owner's name, and they wore
that.
I thought that was so cool. I love
how great
kinky people are. Y'all are talking to creative.
Oh, I just hit my phone against the
mic. That's not a problem. Okay. And then
here are some,
others
that we got.
If metal isn't a problem, a key ring.
At the time, it was one of those
nice soft leather ones that he presumably, he
is their dom Mhmm.
Had carried around for a little while. And
then if metal is a problem, just take
the metal ring off. They said I liked
it because I was feeling if I was
feeling stressed, I could reach into my pocket
and play with it or hold it. It
was like a key ring. That is
and then the connection of your Dom has
maybe carried it around or maybe it's meaning
you've taken it off of there.
I like that. I really like that. One
person said they wear a bracelet.
One person said they wear earrings when they
go out to the construction site.
And,
another person. Hi. I know who I see
you all the time. Hello. Hello. I have
worn some dainty ear cuffs and also some
dainty earrings that are a heart shaped lock.
So I was reading more on something else.
Something came up in my feed. Y'all know
once you Google search something, it's
now your algorithm just, like, starts spitting it
out. It's it's there. And so I,
came across something. And it might have even
been a post by somebody. I can't remember.
But they were talking about how,
necklaces have to be able to break away
Mhmm. You know, in in certain,
fields. And then they were talking about no
dangling bits, like even earrings in some cases
cannot dangle. And I was like, okay. Perfect.
And I and I can understand that especially
someone working in an ER. Oh, yeah.
Okay? Because you you never know. Mhmm. You
know, I I I was,
one time in the ER,
I've gone there with somebody,
and,
they
brought in some guy from a motorcycle accident,
which
was he was involved in a chase. Mhmm.
And,
it
man, it it was crazy. He was he
was screaming and yelling, and
there were several cops with them and, you
know Oh, yeah. He he was thrashing
and all over the place. And,
yeah. It was just a hot mess. So
I kind of understand that.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
And, again, every like we said in in
that episode,
every field and every
space in the medical sphere is gonna have
its own independent rules based on the needs
of that space. Right.
So always read the policy first. But I,
you know, I think
what I appreciate about those comments was, you
know,
it was somebody from the military who could
relate to needing something that was not their
obvious color. Somebody who works in construction where,
no, you cannot have dangling bits in construction.
You don't want anything to get caught on
anything. Mhmm.
So
but yeah.
I really liked those
additional,
thoughts.
Tayshoes and Lutgers. So I think I need
to research earrings for my shop. You definitely
do. You definitely do.
I am completely down for,
I'm gonna air quote it now, collars, air
quote collars being whatever,
is comfortable, safe, and appropriate for Correct. That
a person is willing and wants to wear
Mhmm. That they can be meeting into. You
know? It is deeply, deeply personal.
So
but yeah.
So yeah. Those were the comments that we
got. I,
I,
really appreciate that. That was was it was
nice to see
the other parts of the Internet do not
typically show us thoughtful
Yeah. Comments. Insightful. Yeah. Right. From other people
who've got their their experience and their viewpoint.
And I like that when we get comments,
sometimes it's, you know, somebody who chanced across
us and I wish they just kept their
mouth shut and kept it pushing. But, you
know, most of the time when we get
comments, it's well thought out as people go,
let me share my experience. I freaking love
that. It's helpful.
And what I really like is when I,
you know,
get
a comment where I go, holy shit. I
never thought about that. Like that, I'm like,
thank you for expanding my mind for me.
Because there are many things I think about,
and I just don't bring up because I've
decided personally it's not relevant, or I've said
it 85 times, or whatever. But man, to,
like, get a thing where I'm like, oh,
I never thought of that. I can file
that away now for future use. Mhmm.
Awkwardish pandas is in live chat. I have
a regular day collar, but I also have
an elastic bracelet with thin clay beads that
spell out daddy's baby girl
in Morse code. Oh, wow. Now that is
brilliant. That's brilliant. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Yep. Special code to say what you know
it says, but most people would never clock.
I fucking love that shit. I'm telling you
kinky people are creative people,
you know.
Okay. So that is the only topic related
things. Okay.
I guess now we're just gonna freaking,
chill. Silent in live chat. It says, my
favorite is the quote. Why is this on
my feed?
Yeah.
I don't I don't engage with these comp
comments when we get them. Usually, over in
the kinkery, I've not experienced anything loving BDSM.
Other than YouTube, I have gotten a couple
tons of YouTube. But for the kinkery and
especially on Instagram,
every once in a while, a reel or
even a post will just kinda, like
it'll just take off and
then people across the spectrum of the Internet
are commenting, why is this on my feet?
Why am I seeing this? What is this?
And I think to myself, because you keep
fucking commenting, why is this on my feet?
Right. But thankfully
thankfully, the kink community will always come through.
There's always at least a couple people who
go, because you keep commenting on this shit.
If you don't wanna see it, shut up
and keep scrolling. Go away. Go away. Thank
you. Thank you. I love you so much.
Yep.
I tried to be a good customer service
person. So I don't I don't usually say
shit like that. But
so
but yeah.
So,
please,
if unless you're gonna say something else, I
was gonna say, please tell everybody why you
were justifiably
grumpy today. Okay. Because in both podcast intros,
I was like, JB is so fucking grumpy
for good
reason. So Well, you know, Kayla told you
earlier about the YouTube.
Oh, which did make me grumpy for sure.
And, you know, it was kind of last
minute that we were actually gonna sit down
and do this.
So I sat down and started doing my
my thing. I'm pulling out the lights. I,
you know, fired up the mixing board and
and powered on the computer.
Computer comes up
and it was explaining to me why it
could not be updated to
Windows
11.
And it went into,
setting up the new updates.
Then it asked me to buy Microsoft three
sixty five, and it asked me to get
into
OneDrive and blah blah blah blah down the
line. Finally got through and nothing would run
on the computer. And I started digging the,
you know, we had a problem a little
while back with the hard drive being full.
And I went through and I I cleaned
it and, you know, got as much down
to to keep it working.
The the latest
the latest updates
have have refilled
the hard drive.
I went through and did a cleanup of
all temp files and
compressed the drive and blahdy blah blah blah
and, got it running so we can function
here today.
But, yeah, it did not have me in
the best mood.
No. It didn't.
Mm-mm. I still contend we need some sort
of flag system,
like a green flag that you wave is
like, yes. I'm I'm taking I'm accepting communication
at this time. Yellow flag proceed with caution.
But I want then a a separate flag.
I don't know what color it would be
or what it would look like look like,
where you're like, I am busy and also
pissed off about it. Do not
do not approach.
Yeah. Thankfully
thankfully,
I did
somehow
I don't know, did I catch the vibe
or was I just like,
I don't think I have anything actually meaningful
to say, so I'll wait till he's done.
I don't know what it was. Some sixth
sense told me,
shut your fucking mouth. Yeah. Leave him the
fuck alone. Because when I did finally gently
reach out,
I guess I did it in just the
right way at just the right time where
you were clearly
annoyed, but not at me. Right. Right. Right.
Yep.
So yeah. Now we,
we we definitely need to, look into getting
a new hard drive Yeah. In the computer.
No if, ands, or buts about it.
So I'm gonna have to see what we
need to do about that. Mhmm.
You know, I was hoping to put it
off as long as I could,
but, not long enough for my my book.
But you know? So then I need you
to get back out there and make a
shit ton more toys. We got a Black
Friday sale coming. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I I even looked into,
if it's possible to, like, install
the Microsoft browser, you know, Edge. Mhmm.
And, I do find that fascinating. They call
their browser Edge. I know.
That's not the kind of edging that I
want in my life, but sure. No. No.
No.
And, it is possible to remove it. Would
have to download,
third party
apps to do it. Microsoft doesn't want you
to do it. Hell no. They're not gonna
make it easy on you. And, apparently, it
is so integrated
into the system Mhmm. That you could have
some
issues
Of course. After. Yeah. Of course. Right?
So
yeah.
I mean, it does feel a little bit
like the universe was like, y'all are not
recording this week, and we went
watch us.
I I'm gonna tease JB just a little
bit.
Uh-oh. So we have not decided what we're
doing for next week
for the stream.
And and that's a conversation we were supposed
to have before the stream, but then he
had, like Technical issues. And righteous indignation
as he should.
So we haven't had the conversation yet. But
when we what brought up the conversation
was when JB had a grumpy moment
and was like, well, I was talking about
streaming. He was, well, you know, next week
is a holiday week. I I went, who
the fuck are you talking to? It was
like,
we we have previously nine of these where
we have always streamed the day before Thanksgiving.
If you wanna not do that, that's cool.
I'm willing to have that conversation. That's not
a problem.
I was like, why are you mad at
me? Like, I'm making you work. It's not
it's not like I'm I'm stressed or anything
heading into Black Friday, you know, and don't
have a thing on my mind to worry
about. And here's the thing. Well, I think
what has slowly happened, one, we do not
focus on sex toys like we used to.
Yeah.
I think you got burnt out
and I Oh, I definitely got burnt out
on that. I, if I have the,
pathological
demand avoidance slash pervasive
demand for autonomy, PDA for anybody who knows.
If I have that, it is coming out
in review
product reviews because
I,
get very I have over the years, I've
gotten very twitchy on feeling an obligation to
use a product and then tell you what
I think. I used to fucking love it.
I used to be like, hell yeah. Let's
try a new sensation. Can we kink this
up? This will be great. And these days,
I'm just like,
I don't wanna be obligated to a company
who don't give a fuck about me Yeah.
To to try this when I'm not feeling.
I think a part of that was all
these years prior to finally getting, you know,
HRT and all that,
of having such low desire for anything sexual
that then to be like, oh, but here,
go go try that vibrator. Yeah. You don't
give a fuck. You're not in the the
mood for it, but go try it. I
just I I think what what did it
for me
was the fleshlight fiasco.
You had so many fleshlights.
My god.
Was it one of those I don't want
anything on my dick right now? Just leave
my dick
alone.
Just touch me anywhere else but there.
It was a it it was a paid
It was. Toy review. Not review, like, we
love this, but, like, review in what does
it feel like? How what is it to
use? Like, one of those in informative things
we got paid as freelance writers,
and JB is my test dick. Like,
I used to put that dick out for
hire. Like Right. Fine. And then he you
received what was a box of
thirteen, sixteen?
Fleshlights out there. There there was there was
eight in the next box,
and then there was another box after that.
And I don't remember what was in that,
but it was a fucking shitload of flashlights.
And between
those and then the ones you already owned,
you then had duplicate flashlights.
Yeah. Yeah. There were duplicates in there.
Oh my god. I know. Hey. The you
know what? I'll say this.
That job,
which was oh my god. I got to
a point I was so tired of lube.
I was testing lubes all the time. I
was like Yeah. Just leave me the fuck
alone. Panty vibrators?
I found ones I like, like, legitimately like,
but by the end of it, you're like,
get get everything away from my clit. Just
get everything away from my clit.
But that job came in a time where
we were like, we will do almost anything
for money.
We have bills to pay.
And so I'm glad you did it. Mhmm.
But I also respect the fact that you're
like,
I don't no. I'm not I'm not testing
a a sex toy for anybody.
I
I get it. And can you you wanna
know something? Out of all over the years,
out of all the toys that
that we have tested and, you know, to
play with so many so many toys,
there's probably about four or five
at this point That you're like that I
that I go back to regularly. I know.
Because what I found over the years is
I could like something in the moment. I
could find I it could do its job.
It could,
I could I could find
I could genuinely
experience good things and find good things to
say and see what kind of people might,
like, really enjoy this and what kind of
people might not really enjoy this. But it
would not there were toys that in the
moment, I'm like, yeah. This worked. This was
good. I could see good things for us,
and then I would never pick it up
again. Then there are some choice I really
love, but I'm like, man, it takes a
lot of work to use this.
I really love it. But I'm basically, by
the time I am flat in a bed
in the dark, I'm tired, and now I'm
lazy, and I'm not working that hard. I
just thought. I just thought.
Mhmm.
So
silent asks, how did you not just go
totally numb? You do have to space these
things out. Yeah.
Yeah. But there was a time for for
at least a couple of weeks. I think
we were on deadline
because he would test it,
and he would record the,
video review, and then I would write the
article.
So I would be interviewing him about his
fleshlight.
Poor thing. He would have used the fleshlight,
and he'd be like, I gotta go fucking
make pals. I got work to do. He'd
be in the shed, the shop in the
backyard, and I'd be standing there with a
notepad going, okay. So here's the questions I
have to answer about this. Yeah. That's why
Yeah. I was interviewing him. Yeah. And I
wanna say there was a stretch where we
were on deadline
where I think you were testing a new
one every day. Yeah.
Every day. Every day. And I was like,
at a at one point I finally went,
can you even tell the difference between these
things that they bought?
Nope.
And yet you like Fleshlight. Yeah. Like you
like the the one you did. Well,
I know. I know.
I know. It's a little bit I can't
look at them anymore. It's a little bit
like
you ate a food you loved, but then
that food gave you food poisoning, and now
you can never eat it again. Again. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. I get
it. I get it. Yeah.
I would be more inclined these days to
try
kink toys that we don't make. I'm not
trying like I don't I'm fine with anybody
who goes to somebody who would be a
competitor of us and buys their wooden paddle.
I wanna try somebody else's wooden paddle.
But I'll try a leather paddle, and I'll
try this paddle, and I'll try but I
we are not at a stage where we
are being sought out nor are we seeking
out review products. I'd rather buy it myself.
Mhmm. But that's not a priority purchase these
days even though it would be a business
experience.
I don't really wanna send our account the
receipts from, like, the stock room. I really
don't. I really don't.
Actually, I really feel like if we did
it, I would do it from small I
would do it from small businesses. Yeah. The
stock room and all those, they don't they
don't need hype from us anymore. We're affiliates
of Stockroom. I found some great things from
Stockroom. But if I were to get back
in the the review game Mhmm. It would
be from but I I don't want somebody
to send me something and go review it
if you want. That's obligation. I don't want
that. I wanna go find a product, try
it, go, hell, yeah. We fucking love this
shit,
and then talk about it. Yeah. Because we
wanted to, not because someone asked us to.
And that's a me thing, y'all. I'd Yeah.
So
So yeah. That's not something we've, done for
a while. Mm-mm. You know? And,
yeah. It just kinda that kinda that just
that did me in. Yeah. I I get
it. I completely get it.
Do you know what we still have? Y'all,
this is so sad. Do you know what
we still have?
That we bought with our own fucking money,
and we have never tried it. It's still
in the plastic, still in the box.
The electrostim,
I want to get,
cock rings.
You're right. That we've never tried. We've never
tried those. You're right. You're right. And you've
tried so like, just stuff that you have
that you love that you've bought for yourself.
You've put so many things on your cock,
and you've not done that.
I think you forgot the existence. I did.
I forget the existence until I'm rummaging around
in the closet. In the closet. I wanna
say we have a few toys left over
that were just sent to us that never
went anywhere that have never been opened.
And I don't know. Do we wanna try
them? Do we wanna
I keep I think our original plan was
to do a giveaway.
And maybe that's what we'll do at some
point, is do a giveaway.
But,
yeah, we really do need to clean up
that closet.
Yes. Yes.
But
yeah. I,
it's weird now because for years, it was
our favorite sex toys of the year. That
was what the whole we would do it
right before Black Friday so we could tell
folks what the sales were if they wanted
any of these things. Yeah. And we don't
do that anymore. No. Mm-mm.
I also could see if you decide you
don't want an episode next week and we
take the week off. Off. When I tell
you we take the week off, I mean,
just we're not doing
episodes. We are we'll be busting our ass.
The only day we will actually take off
next week will be Thanksgiving.
Mhmm. And that
if you're cooking literally all day long, is
it a day off?
Mhmm. I don't think so. But, yeah, we're
not behind on our product stuff for Black
Friday. There's just so much To do. To
do. Yeah. To get ready. And then,
either,
you know, the the,
economic blackout protest
will may be a factor. Mhmm. I respect
it if it's a factor. I just hate
it for, like, my business. Yeah. Now I
I do I do know the people that
I have seen talking about it
have been saying,
their their,
benchmark, I guess, is a way of saying
it.
Boycott the big corporations and and shop small
and local. Sure. And just for those few
days, not like forever boycott if you Yeah.
I know. Can't because sometimes you just can't
for forever boycott. I would love to never
have to shop at a Walmart again, but
Yeah. I have Walmart budget. I have Aldi
budget, so we go to Walmart.
Mhmm.
But there's that. And then also, typically,
we are not
our busiest day is not actual Black Friday,
the the day after Thanksgiving. Mhmm. Most folks
are, like, doing their
Amazon deals, their Walmart. They're, like, buying the
computer, buying the gift for the kid. We
tend to pick up
Saturday
a little bit. I mean, we have sales,
but it's not, like, overwhelming. But that Sunday,
typically
Into Monday. I will go into Monday, and
I'll I'll start processing orange. I'll just have
boxes. Every year, it's been more boxes, but
I'll just start stacking the boxes. Yeah.
One year, it was the la the first
time I did it was the last time
I fucking did it. I paid
to have,
postal service come pick up
our shit ton of boxes
at once instead of,
at at a specific time, like, not just
our normal
time for pickup
when our mail carrier is usually here.
And that way you basically get a dedicated
truck. Like, they might be picking up other
things, but that truck is designed to be
able to hold your boxes Right. Instead of
your mail carrier might come in and not
have room for your boxes.
Right? So I paid for it, and then
they didn't arrive. And then they didn't arrive.
And then they didn't arrive. And I wanna
say it was the next fucking day
they came for my boxes, and you don't
get a refund when they don't come on
the day you paid for them to be
there. I'm so mad.
So what we do is I will not
burden our mail carrier with more. I think
my max is eight boxes
because I don't know what kind of space
she has. She's always been good to us.
She's friendly. Yeah. Like, we like our mail
carrier. She she still talks to us when
she sees us. Right. Haven't scared her off
yet. But anything past eight, I'm running to
the post office.
And usually the Monday after Thanksgiving
Yeah. It's a it sometimes takes three or
four trips. I love it. It's a great
fucking problem to have. It's a great problem
to have. But you only get that kind
of outcome if you bust ass leading up
to it to have something for folks to
buy.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, next and next next week is,
even with the with, you know, the holiday
and and the shopping day and all that,
the youngest and I had been, volunteering at
the Humane Society. Mhmm.
And next week,
part of that we,
not only have helped out at the shelter,
but also at the, thrift store. They have
a thrift store. Yes. And I you go
for all kinds of reasons, but I think
you go now because every time you come
home, you come home with another 50¢ CD
for something you did not have before. Right.
Yeah.
And that that's kinda been at at the,
at the thrift store. That's kinda what
we have. We we've,
inherited a corner of the the thrift stop.
Yeah. They walk in and they go, you
go clean that corner over there. And and
that corner consists of the DVDs,
the VHS tapes.
I need to send you with a a
list of DVDs I would love to have
come home. Yeah. Keep keep an eye out.
Sure.
And, what else? Vinyl albums,
books.
Yeah. That that's that's and and the kids
section.
Which I'm sure is a hot mess.
Yeah. Mhmm. So, you know, it's,
yeah. You know, it's funny. The the albums
that they have come in,
nothing that would interest me. Mhmm. I, I,
you know, when I when I'm going through
them, one of the things I have to
go through would be surprised
how many,
album jackets
do not have anything in them.
Now do you think they came in like
that or somebody was like, oh, I'll just
leave the jacket here.
I I think they most likely came in
like that. Maybe somebody just had, like, a
big ole and they've dumped it and didn't
check? Yeah. So what do you do when
you find those?
Trash. Okay.
Makes sense. Trash.
And,
you know the I
when I'm going through these albums,
like,
this is the kind of stuff my
grandmother and
mom listened to and give me my Yeah.
The I don't know if the mic's picking
up. Lola is crying
from another room.
She's crying as if she's been abandoned.
She's alone and forgotten. Nobody will ever love
her ever again.
She'll die alone in that comfy,
used to be covered in leather, but now
that don't look like leather no more, couch.
That is definitely hers.
Alone.
It's tragic, really.
My heart breaks for her.
I do wonder though if it's something about
her getting older and when she wakes up
or she looks around, she genuinely thinks she's
alone. I know. Anyway, you were talking about
Anyway. Humane deciding for the holiday. Yeah. And
the, you know, next
next week with Black Friday coming up, they
are looking for extra help.
And where was the extra help? Where did
they need the extra help? Was it at
the thrift store? At the thrift store. Yeah.
Because it'll be really busy. Yeah. Because they're
they're expecting a busy
Black Friday there. I would imagine. I mean,
with with the economy being the way it
is and people struggling financially, if you're gonna
even attempt to do any Christmas shopping, you're
gonna go Yeah. You know? You know? I
imagine thrift
store. I I I have noticed
since,
have been,
you know, going there to the thrift store.
I am it it is even during the
week,
it has gotten busier and busier.
I I saw one person,
leaving there. They had filled their
cart
with books.
Mhmm.
You know? So, yeah, I I imagine that
it is gonna be
pretty busy. Mhmm. So yeah. They're they're looking
for,
extra help the day before Thanksgiving and then
the day after. You're gonna be busy the
day before. Yeah.
Yeah. And if we don't have all the
product ready, you're gonna be busy the day
after.
So,
you know, I'd,
I'd like to, Yeah. I know. You know,
help out. They're they're really they're really good
people there and, you know, and, you know,
yeah, you know, I don't
know.
The CDs that they have, they're yeah. I
I love going through the CDs because those
are at least one every time. Those those
are more, you know, where I'm
so, yeah. I I I seem to find
and it's funny,
I go up there and the the the
one woman who works the registry is like,
how do you do it? You always find
the best CDs.
Because you're meticulously going through every single one
and checking. Is anything Because even in it.
Even some of yeah. Exactly. Gotta check to
make sure something's in it and yeah.
Same thing. So,
yeah.
That's what I mean.
I am hoping to,
have a quiet start to Black Friday.
Mhmm. Because I know the sales don't come
in fast and furious. Now
being under a new system with a site
that loads faster
and hopefully is better organized than our previous
site Yeah. Maybe. Makes things easier for folks
to shop.
Maybe. Yeah.
But yeah. Hope so.
There goes Lola again.
You couldn't entice her in here to be
with us? I'll I'll try now. It's her
couch time. Is that is that what I'm
She was actually in her crate. Oh. Oh,
wow. She's in her crate. Okay.
Bed bed. Oh, yeah. And now she's at
the door. Come on. Come on. Please do
not barrel into the tripod. Oh, she's barreling.
She's barreling.
That's a woman on a mission. I bet
she has to pee. I'm not gonna get
one hit Same girl. Same.
I know.
Really? To the dog.
To the dog.
Oh my gosh.
So but yeah. No. I the the people
there are really nice and,
you know,
and I'm always I I always look. I
see too what they have in, like, the,
kitchen stuff. Yes. I'm on the hunt for
from the thrift store. I don't
new for a rice cooker. Yeah. That's what
I want. I want a rice cooker. Mhmm.
I mean, we found our steam mop
there. Yeah. $10. Actually, I think we got
it cheaper. I think they gave us, like,
a deal. Yeah.
I have a little baby crock pot now,
a smaller one. Not the mini, but, like,
a small one.
I gotta decide what dip I'm gonna make
Mhmm. For for munching Mhmm. On Thanksgiving. I
know. I don't know.
But I'm gonna use that for that. You
know, we could
well, it would have to be this weekend.
We'd have to go could go to
the
market.
Mhmm. They had somebody selling the the packets
of mix. Yeah. Those mixes are usually cold
mixes. I'm looking for, like, a hot dip.
Okay. Lots of melty cheese.
Silent. I assumed I was Silent asked, what
kind of rice cooker? The basic one or
the fancy Japanese one? I didn't know there
was a fancy Japanese one.
I so I'm assuming I'm looking for, like,
the basic one.
So because I didn't know I didn't that
makes sense that there would be different types,
but I didn't know.
For whatever reason,
as an adult, I have been cooking rice
often on not we don't eat rice a
lot. We eat more eat it more now
than we
used to. And I
it never comes out consistent. It's not
usually bad. It's usually perfectly fine, but have
I a 100%
created a dark,
hard,
crunchy layer at the bottom of of a
pot before? Uh-huh. And, you know, prior to
doing that, I'd be like, oh, I know
how to cook rice. Clearly, I don't. So
I'm like, I just I need something to
make it idiot proof so that I cannot
fuck up. I will follow the instructions and
push the button and move on with my
life and let the machine do the work.
Okay.
So that she's they she explained what the,
fancy one does.
Buttons for white rice,
brown rice, oatmeal, and
Basic.
Just a button. Yeah. Don't let me fuck
it up.
Yeah. I've I have tried a buffalo chicken
dip in the past for those in livestream
who are
advising it. I thought about it,
but then I was like,
do I want something that's more just melted
cheese? I don't know. I found a couple
of places I was gonna ask you, hey.
Which of these sound good to you? But,
yes, a chicken
buffalo dip
is typically top of all the lists I
find. Yeah. Yeah. We have tried one in
the past, but I didn't try it in
the slow cooker that then kept it warm.
Right. I baked it, I think, in the
oven,
and then we put it between us. Us.
We were, like, watching movies, and so then
it
Congealed.
Right. So
maybe I'd have a better experience.
Yeah.
Oh, the youngest,
talking about Thanksgiving
Day on the ride home from we had
to go out today.
And, I said, okay. So for desserts, we're
gonna have an apple pie. Oh, I need
to put that on the list. I need
to buy the apple pie. Yeah. I am
I do not make apple pies. We're gonna
gonna have an apple pie because you and
the oldest love an apple pie, and I
will eat apple pie. If we have it,
I'll eat it. I found a recipe for
peanut butter fudge, very basic. I'm sure it's
like the standard recipe. But I was like,
oh,
I can do that. So we're gonna make
peanut butter fudge. And then I asked the
youngest, I was like, okay, so you're not
gonna touch the apple pie.
You may or may not like the peanut
butter fudge. Is there a dessert you'd like?
And the youngest is bringing back
the, pumpkin cheesecake that we used to do.
Okay. Alright. So on top of everything else,
I gotta make a cheesecake next to me.
Yeah. So you know, silent, I I love
a spinach artichoke dip. JB does not like
a spinach artichoke dip.
No. No? No. No.
Mm-mm.
But I did see another
dip
that was
I'd have to go look it up again.
A bacon
cheesy
spinach
dip without the artichokes. And I meant to
ask you if it was the spinach but
not the artichokes,
would it be okay? Okay.
See. Look at us. We're getting vegetables in
with our two pounds of melted cheese. Whatever.
Whatever.
Yeah. This weekend,
I have to finalize everything I need to
get for our,
not at all traditional
Thanksgiving dinner.
And it's like all the perishables. I gotta
get some heavy cream. I gotta get my
cream cheese. I got stuff that's gotta go
in the refrigerator.
But I gotta, like, we
Compeller hot water. I'm getting it all this
week, and I'm not going to the grocery
store again until after Thanksgiving. Man,
I've I've got to weigh that pork shoulder
and see what what's gonna be what, how
long I actually have to cook it.
And I am I'm
I was considering asking you this, but I
think
I'm I'm doing enough to save, on dishwashing.
I usually when we when we cook whatever
we cook, I just use our serving dishes
and our pots and pans or whatever. I
am buying the aluminum
pans to cook shit. Yeah. This year. Yeah.
I don't I don't
I don't blame. Anything I don't have to
wash when we're done? Yeah.
Cool. Yeah.
Mhmm. Which is probably why I'll sleep in
day after on Black Friday. If I've got
everything set up, the emails have gone out,
the social media is up, the Mhmm. I
don't think I'm gonna do a coupon code.
I'm just gonna make it all on sale.
Yeah. Whatever whatever. Unless unless something absolutely positively
has no other choice, I'm sleeping into.
Yeah. Because from from Black Friday until
usually about three days before Christmas, we will
be hustling. Or at least as early as
the, fur babies let me sleep.
There is that.
Ella was at the door. Your alarm went
off at six.
It sounded like it startled both of us
Yeah. Out of the deep sleep. And Ella
was already
At the door. She heard that alarm. She's
at the bedroom door. And she's not fed
at six. Y'all, she's fed, like, 06:15. Yeah.
But you, like, wake up, put some clothes
on, rub the soap out of your eyes
I I start your coffee? I start my
coffee first. Yep.
But she was like, I'm hungry. And that's
every day. That yes. That's every day. I
have,
I have,
upset
miss Ella.
That is true. Silent. He said sleeping in
for me is a very daring 8AM. That
is true. Mhmm.
I tried to sleep in a couple days
ago, and I woke up at 07:15.
I was like, woo.
Look at me go. Seven holes in, like,
a fifteen in the morning. Yeah. There was
a time
in my early twenties,
mid twenties,
early to mid twenties.
I used to Forty years ago? Yeah.
You know, I was,
always out on the weekends.
And I would sleep
till one, 02:00 in the afternoon. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Yeah.
I had to stop doing that
after
I birthed the first kid. That those days
of sleeping in,
long fucking gone. Long fucking gone.
Yeah.
Mm-mm.
That was that was never an option again.
I somehow turned myself into I would not
call myself an early bird in that, like,
chipper way.
I'm a begrudging
early
I don't know. Vulture? I don't know.
Like, I'm up, but I'm not happy to
be here. Yeah.
And now I don't know how to turn
it off. So
no. I think I have pissed off Ella.
So I think it started with
I didn't we now use the pine pellets
for their litter.
It's cheaper.
It smells nominally better.
They track less of it. We changed it
for the tracking purposes. The litter we were
using, I fucking loved,
but, oh my god, it was everywhere. It
was all through our house,
because it was that sand kind of texture.
So we've moved to pine pellets. I think
we talked about this several weeks ago because
we had a semi health crisis because Ella
was very upset. Okay.
So I like the pine pellets also. It's
easier, in my opinion, to change out as
as needed to go fresh pine pellets.
Well, apparently, I waited a little too long
for Ella's liking, and somehow it was now
not the right texture under her feet for
her to pee.
I think too soft somehow.
I didn't think that existed. So Mhmm. I
was catching her, like, peeing in places she
should not be peeing. I went, ah, shit.
Let's just I gotta do it. Let me
switch everything over. So I switch everything over.
But we have a trick with Ella to
get her to use a one specific
litter box where I put some of the
old litter in
to fake her out that, oh, no. This
you can put your paws on this and
you can pee. She doesn't have a problem
taking a shit in pine pellet, but something
about peeing, it she's offended.
And apparently,
that still is not correct, and I didn't
put enough
of the old litter
to do the fake out because she peed
out two things. She peed outside the litter
box
till I put more of the old litter
in.
And and she apparently peed on some laundry
that had not made it into the laundry
basket yet. How did I discover this? I
put this morning, very quickly got dressed because
I had had to go do something early
morning. I don't usually have to do things
that early. I was like, oh, you have
to, like, put on grown up clothes by,
like, 09:00 this morning. So I just shoved
on, like, old pj's to get out of
the bed and go make breakfast and whatever
whatever.
And I'm sitting there eating my breakfast, and
every time I would turn my head, I'd
be like, oh my god. Something smells like
like gross. Something is what is happening?
And we had an open window, and I
thought, is something outside? I was like, like,
did somebody make a mess under the dining
room table and I haven't seen?
No. I had thrown on a shirt that
apparently
Ella had peed on. And how can I
accuse Ella of this? Because Onyx does not
have this issue. Litter is not her food
is her issue,
not her litter. Mm-mm.
I've not never yanked off a piece of
clothing faster than when I asked to
pee. In. It was something with pee on
it. It was dry. It was old pee.
And apparently, it was just a small portion
because it was not an overwhelming I had
to turn my head and I would smell
it. I was like, what is that smell?
Where is it coming from?
Fucking Ella. Goddamn.
Yeah.
She's she's a trip, that cat.
Yes.
Anyhow.
Yeah. I'm I'm actually holding back for shit
I could be talking about because we still
have the Friday night livestream. That's true. That's
true.
Same same. To brag on the oldest. He
had a concert last night. Mhmm. We can
talk about that Friday. I'd like to map
out in great detail, for whatever reason, because
it amuses me, what are we're having, for
Thanksgiving.
But I don't wanna do that now because
we got a whole other livestream
coming in a couple of days.
But you are doing the
it's the equivalent of the, okay, I need
to get off the phone with you,
and ahs. Like, okay. Wrap this up. Yep.
Baby girl, wrap this shit up. Come on
now.
Thank thank you for being polite enough not
to, in the middle of recording, go, come
on. Let's go.
I appreciate
that. Now if I was on the other
side of the camera, I'd be doing that
shit. I'm like, mhmm.
And I cannot promise that I would not
be like, if I just don't look at
him, I can't see.
Possible
denial.
Oh, god.
Oh, lord. Oh, my lord.
I wanna complain about the nap problem we've
had in the house that we're, like, desperately
trying to, like, make go away.
That'll be Friday night. In between, you know,
conversations about food and
nostalgic things and
you know?
Yeah.
So
but you did do make the sound and
do the thing. So that tells me, since
this is a bonus section, there's no bonus
section to go to. Right. You were ready
to be out of our bonus section Yeah.
Is what I'm hearing. You know? I still
have things to do. Same. And I got
cooked dinner, and I I switched at the
last moment what I was gonna make for
dinner, and I was like, oh, but I'm
not actually prepared to make that for dinner.
I don't have a good recipe
at my disposal. I better go find one.
And and we don't have anything to do
tonight or anywhere to go. Correct? As far
as I know. Good.
And we don't tomorrow
either. Right? Oh, good. I I mean Yeah.
I you had I don't think so. You
might go to the humane society. I may
go to the humane society in the afternoon.
In the afternoon. Yeah. But then Friday, you
have a doctor's appointment. Yeah. That's right. Here's
the thing. We have written calendars. We have
our Google Calendar. We have reminders on our
phone. We're getting text messages, and we still
can't fucking remember Yeah. What we have coming
up next. I know.
It's too much. It's too much. Yeah.
It is. You know, I've
I've got more appointments than I ever had.
I will give the good news. We do
get to have health insurance for next
next year. Yeah. And it's not as awful
as it could have been. Yeah.
So, yay.
That was the text message I sent my
mother the other week. I was like, I
get to have health insurance next year. She
went, oh, good. I'm so glad. She's like,
I was thinking of a plan b for
you. I was like, oh, I'd already found
my plan b. Plan b. Yeah. But,
you know I you know what kills me?
I'm celebrating the fact that I have health
insurance because it's needed in The US if
you want to have a chance of going
to a fucking doctor. Yeah. And yet, I
know it's shitty. I know the system is
shitty. I know that
Mhmm.
The type of health insurance I have is
better than it has been, but it's still
shitty. Like, it's like, why am I I
have to celebrate a shitty system because at
least that shitty system means
I might have medical debt, but hopefully, I
won't I can still go to a doctor
when I desperately need to. Like,
the dystopian
of it all. Like, the I you know.
Yeah. You know, the things things like our
prescriptions and stuff. You know, we keep up
with those.
Oh, yeah. I was researching what can I
do instead? I'd actually found some, Direct Primary
Cares here locally. If you're not familiar with
what a Direct Primary Cares, they do not
accept insurance. They do it as a membership
model. So you pay, like, an application or
an enrollment fee, and then you pay a
monthly
fee every month to that doctor's office, but
you can literally make an appointment for whatever
Yeah. Their practice covers.
But it's not major medical. It's not gonna
cover you going to a hospital or going
to a specialist. It's just for primary care
basic basic stuff.
And I was
like, if we have to.
And then I found a couple places. I
was like, actually, I wouldn't mind going here,
but we don't really wanna change our doctor.
We like our doctor.
But yeah. Mhmm.
So, yay, we're celebrating our awful, awful health
system here in The United States. I get
access to it for one more year
without going broke.
Holy shit. I don't know. The you know,
they're going, what's what's the deductible this year?
Oh my god. I found a plan with
no deductible, but we just have high co
pays. Yeah. Yeah. $50 to go see our
primary care, $100 to go see the specialist.
But I'm not fighting a deductible. Except we
have a prescription deductible, and guess what we
have every month? Prescriptions to get refilled.
A prescription deductible, and guess what we have
every month? Prescriptions to get refilled for everybody
in the family.
So it's imperfect.
Yeah. But it it It's better than nothing.
It's not
what it could've been. Right.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, on that note,
I guess we will go, and we'll be
back Friday night.
For podcast listeners, Friday night, 09:30PM
on YouTube. We hope, you can make it
and,
come see the chaos
That ensues. Instead of just listening to it.
I feel like seeing it might be more
helpful because Ethan get context or whatever the
fuck we're talking about if one of us
forgets to actually describe it for people who
are not looking at the screen. Also, for
anybody who's busy, we make great background
noise.
Sometimes you'll have to stop what you're doing
and go, did they actually just say that?
And what was the context for that?
I get it. I get it. That's why
you gotta rewind.
You know? Right?
But yay. Okay. We're gonna, like Okay. Thanks
for being here. Yep. Thanks for hanging out
with us. Especially to the bitter end, especially
on a no topic, just pure randomness kind
of episode.
And we'll do that, the randomness Friday night.
Friday night. Mhmm. Hope to see you there.
Yep. Okay. Bye. Bye.