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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four fifty seven. Kayla Lords here with the

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one, the only Nope. Nope. There's not a

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thing you can say about me right now

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because you,

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Kayla Lords,

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are amazing,

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brilliant,

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and and diligent.

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This woman

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rebuilt

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the entire Kinkery website

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from scratch. And now I'm blushing you and

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then nobody can see it, and I kind

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of wanna hide because I feel I feel

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a way when somebody says nice things about

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me.

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I don't know how to handle it. I

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was actually going to say

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the one, the only,

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the kindest daddy who was

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very supportive in that endeavor.

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I kept browsed out. I kept kept you

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supplied with Diet Coke. You surely did. And

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when we were on the home stretch the

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day before recording, so Tuesday,

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October

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7,

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you brought me the biggest Diet Coke for

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me to finish up Yep. And get it

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done. We will talk about that later.

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But

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as a result of rebuilding a website,

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my brain is fried. And so for the

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third week in a row, we are taking

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help, and we're taking the easy way,

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of making an episode instead of researching a

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topic and diving deep. We're gonna let therapy

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Jeff help us. Once again, we're gonna answer

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10 questions that he says

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show you really know your partner. Uh-oh. This

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ought to be interesting.

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Welcome to the Living BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and

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Friday, except not next week because I couldn't.

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I just couldn't, y'all,

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for your kinky pleasure and education.

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And show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM

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PC

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on Instagram and technically thread, so that handle

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I will forever fucking hate.

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It's loving d s and the number one.

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So so it's at loving d s one.

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I really fucking hate that.

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On blue sky at lovingbdsm.

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Blah blah blah or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm

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where you can watch us live stream the

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podcast every Wednesday.

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All links are in the show notes.

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We've had a little small, not at all

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stressful chaos,

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before we could Yeah. Just a little blip.

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Chat with everybody and not just on the

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live

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stream. And I forgot that you have to

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queue me in when you do the thing

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you just had to do, and it gets

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all, like,

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confusing and

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okay. So before we get into

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this week's

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topic, I got a couple of

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announcements. One,

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the kinkery the kinkery.com

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got a major overhaul remodel. The guts have

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been changed out of it. Like, we're on

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a whole new platform and system now. Mhmm.

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It just went live October 7, day before

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recording.

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I would love it if you would go

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look at it. Yeah. Went live last night

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just before, we sat down for dinner.

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Is that when that happened? Pretty much. Yeah.

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Okay. I lost all track of time.

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No sense of time at a certain point.

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I did look at JB and go, I

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will not be cooking tonight. And we had

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I we thawed something out. It it was

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ready. It's not a thing he cooks, though.

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I And I agreed with her. So last

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night was a McDonald's.

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Anyway, we are still in the middle of

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restocks now that I have finished the massive

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website

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overhaul, remodel,

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whatever.

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I will be getting back out into the

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shop with JB to help with those restocks.

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We are low on some things we don't

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like to be low on. Mhmm. But, yeah,

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I'd love it if you'd go check it

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out because quite frankly, if it's gonna break,

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I need more eyeballs on it to tell

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me if something's not working

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or to, like, load the system up and

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see if they can handle it. So,

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anyway, I'm very proud of it.

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JB was a wonderful support.

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It's been a three month project, but really

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the bulk of the work has been in

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the past like three and a half to

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four weeks.

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And then

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the biggest amount of work was in the

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like thirty six to forty eight hours before

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it went live.

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I'm still tired. I'm still very tired, but

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I am very proud of my work. So

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far nothing is burning down, blowing up, or

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otherwise on fire. And I like I love

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that for us.

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Next

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is this week's Trans Affirming Care Resource. This

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is the moment I've realized I forgot to

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put it on the Loving BDSM website. I'll

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put it there when we're done recording. And

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that's for gender bands. They are an international

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nonprofit

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five zero one c three organization that serves

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the transgender, gender nonconforming, and other gender diverse

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communities.

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They

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usually

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give out grants,

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once a year. This time of year, as

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of recording, they would normally have their,

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grant applications open,

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but they are struggling

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as an organization

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and,

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cannot give out grants right now until they

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raise more money. So,

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that's not all they do. So if you

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or somebody you care about is

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seeking resources for trans affirming care, definitely give

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gender bands a look because

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they,

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they're located

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in around or near Salt Lake City, Utah.

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So they do pop ups for,

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clothing swaps,

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for folks who are, like, having to change

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out your whole ass wardrobe maybe as you

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transition.

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I know something about that now.

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Learning all kinds of things.

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So they do that and they,

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send out, free binders, chest binders when they

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can.

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They sell merch all the sale. And right

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now they're having clearance sales on their merch,

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so it's really good prices.

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Sales from that go to,

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support the organization.

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They're celebrating their tenth anniversary.

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They've been around since, yeah, 2015.

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And they've got a big fundraiser, where they're

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trying to raise a $100,000

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that'll let them hire some staff, expand some

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programs, do some stuff. So if you yourself

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don't need a resource like that, but you

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want to support a resource like that,

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definitely

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consider going and doting. I have got the

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link to where to donate, I believe, in

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the places. If not, it will be there

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by the time I we're done recording.

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So, yeah, I was hoping to

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help somebody utilize them as a resource

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for grants because they are one of the

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few places that do grants. Also, if you

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are 18,

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for anybody that you know who's 18, that's

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rare, apparently.

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I learned that the hard way.

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So now it's, like, on my heart real

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hard that I've we've got a I've got

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some ideas of how we can show some

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support

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for some of these organizations, and gender bands

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is, like, top of my list right now

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since they couldn't do any of their community

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work that without

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donations, and their biggest project of the year,

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they can't do because they don't have enough

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funds.

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So I would, like, really like to support

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them. Their grants, they do a surgical grant,

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a medical transition grant, and a social transition

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grant. So and they're three separate grants. So

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yeah, gender bands, if you want some to

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shop their merch, if you want to donate,

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if you just want to share the resource

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with whoever you know might need it, there

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you go. Link in places. Okay.

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Okay.

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So,

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we're gonna answer

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10 questions posed by Therapy Jeff.

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I need he's got a podcast I'd like

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to listen to. And he's also got a

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book. And I'm I kinda would like to

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read that

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because

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I I like a lot of his advice.

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I like I'm in tune with the vibe

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with it. So these are questions that he

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says

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we should be able to answer about each

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other. Mhmm. And if we can answer all

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10,

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we really know each other. Now a couple

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things he does say. One, if you there's

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some you don't know, that just means there's

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still more to learn. He's he's always like,

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don't panic.

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Two, when we do these things, I like

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to give them to y'all because maybe you

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are in a relationship and you would like

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to do this as a conversation

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something or other, a check-in,

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a reconnect.

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So

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yeah.

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Here we go. So when I when that

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question is posed, you're gonna answer about me,

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I'm gonna answer about you. Okay. Really?

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I'm just trying to clarify because my brain

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is mush. Okay?

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First question. Mhmm.

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I'll pose it to you like you're answering

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me. What's a really small thing that matters

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to me a lot? Mhmm.

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There are two things Okay. That come to

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mind immediately.

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Mhmm. K? Okay.

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A fountain Diet Coke.

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It is the superior Diet Coke. Right.

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And butt rubs.

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Yes. I don't consider that small because they

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are so important to me. But I I

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get from the outside looking in, they'd be

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like, oh, that's like a that's that's not

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life altering, but, oh, it can be mood

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altering. Butt rubs are definitely it.

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And I don't even need I mean, do

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I enjoy it when butt rubs turn to

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butt smacks, turn to

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a, you know Mhmm. A new version of

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the great dickening? Sure. Sure. Love it. Love

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it. It's my it is pleasant. I love

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it. I'm here for it. But sometimes you

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start rubbing my butt and I lit like,

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my nervous system calms down. I zone out.

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No thoughts, just vibes.

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Completely chilling. And then and then what do

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you do? You stop and you go, it's

274
00:09:30,929 --> 00:09:32,370
time to get in bed, baby girl. I'm

275
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:35,014
like, no. I was being sent to another

276
00:09:35,014 --> 00:09:37,674
plane of existence for a moment there.

277
00:09:38,134 --> 00:09:39,735
What are we doing? So you see why

278
00:09:39,735 --> 00:09:41,174
I don't think it's a small thing, but

279
00:09:41,174 --> 00:09:43,654
I I understand how that's something I I

280
00:09:43,654 --> 00:09:45,034
think I put myself

281
00:09:45,654 --> 00:09:47,674
in a very precarious position.

282
00:09:49,129 --> 00:09:50,830
K? Because for you,

283
00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:52,350
you

284
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:55,769
never enough butt rubs. No. The the limit

285
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:56,909
does not exist. Right?

286
00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:58,830
Lola,

287
00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:04,294
belly rubs. Mhmm. You know, a set amount

288
00:10:04,294 --> 00:10:06,794
of belly rubs does not Mhmm. Exist.

289
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:07,674
And

290
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,695
And onyx. And onyx. You heard you heard

291
00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:12,294
her a few nights when I I missed

292
00:10:12,294 --> 00:10:15,210
her brushing. Head rubs and butt rubs. Yeah.

293
00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:17,050
So basically, you have a type is what

294
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,850
I'm hearing. Seems like. You would either attract

295
00:10:19,850 --> 00:10:22,570
a certain type to you or you are

296
00:10:22,570 --> 00:10:24,889
drawn to certain types. We all but we

297
00:10:24,889 --> 00:10:27,129
all need our our daddy on some level

298
00:10:27,129 --> 00:10:29,309
to rub us is what I'm hearing.

299
00:10:30,294 --> 00:10:32,794
So what's a really small thing that matters

300
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:33,914
to you?

301
00:10:34,695 --> 00:10:36,214
So I don't know how to explain it

302
00:10:36,214 --> 00:10:38,134
because it's more of a vibe than it

303
00:10:38,134 --> 00:10:40,074
is a thing, an action.

304
00:10:41,095 --> 00:10:42,315
There are times

305
00:10:44,139 --> 00:10:46,399
And I'm not saying feelings are small,

306
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:48,700
but again, it's an outside looking in. It

307
00:10:48,700 --> 00:10:49,600
feels like this.

308
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:51,039
You will

309
00:10:51,419 --> 00:10:51,919
be

310
00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:54,480
in your head feeling tense,

311
00:10:55,419 --> 00:10:56,799
something. Maybe you're stressed

312
00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:58,320
and

313
00:10:59,485 --> 00:11:00,465
being interrupted

314
00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:03,184
at not I can't always predict

315
00:11:04,045 --> 00:11:07,165
which moment it is. Being interrupted in thought,

316
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:08,225
word, or deed,

317
00:11:10,205 --> 00:11:11,925
you can explode. It becomes a small it's

318
00:11:11,925 --> 00:11:14,420
a small thing that becomes bigger. And it's

319
00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:15,940
not like bad or scary. It's not but

320
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:18,100
it's like, oh, okay. I if I know

321
00:11:18,100 --> 00:11:19,940
your mood like, it's not my job to

322
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:21,700
know your mood. Like like, I gotta get

323
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,139
out of that mind space of the hyper

324
00:11:23,139 --> 00:11:24,519
vigilance that's not healthy.

325
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:26,675
I'd like to know your mood. I like

326
00:11:26,675 --> 00:11:28,595
to feel like I can, like, read your

327
00:11:28,595 --> 00:11:29,095
vibe.

328
00:11:29,475 --> 00:11:30,995
But it is if I can do that,

329
00:11:30,995 --> 00:11:32,434
if I know what your mood is and

330
00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:34,195
I can see that you're uptight, the thing

331
00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:35,715
I do not need to be doing is

332
00:11:35,715 --> 00:11:38,490
coming and, like, interrupting and then teasing Because

333
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,929
that's what I like to do. If you

334
00:11:39,929 --> 00:11:41,769
look cranky, I wanna try and make you

335
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:44,090
smile. And sometimes not always the wise choice.

336
00:11:44,090 --> 00:11:45,629
That just makes him crankier.

337
00:11:47,929 --> 00:11:50,330
Now if we are talking about a physical

338
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:51,629
thing, small thing

339
00:11:52,009 --> 00:11:55,035
that is, matters to you a lot. Mhmm.

340
00:11:55,095 --> 00:11:56,475
There's a couple of things. Gratitude.

341
00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,455
Like, you don't even know what to do

342
00:11:58,455 --> 00:12:00,774
when somebody tells you thank you. You look

343
00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:01,595
so confused,

344
00:12:02,375 --> 00:12:03,835
lost in the the headlights.

345
00:12:04,215 --> 00:12:06,394
Deer in the headlights. You're like, what? What?

346
00:12:06,879 --> 00:12:09,440
Yeah. That's childhood trauma. I know. We all

347
00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:10,980
I know. I know.

348
00:12:11,759 --> 00:12:13,360
And then another thing that's actually, like, a

349
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,139
physical thing is anything peppermint,

350
00:12:15,519 --> 00:12:18,419
mocha, like, mocha or chocolate mint, mint chocolate.

351
00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:19,059
Yeah.

352
00:12:19,664 --> 00:12:21,264
If I want to see you light up

353
00:12:21,264 --> 00:12:22,784
like a little kid, I will I will

354
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,644
bring you a York peppermint patty.

355
00:12:25,024 --> 00:12:26,865
Mhmm. We were very sad when the one

356
00:12:26,865 --> 00:12:28,384
of the gas stations we go to most

357
00:12:28,384 --> 00:12:30,964
frequently. One of them stopped carrying York

358
00:12:31,264 --> 00:12:33,264
completely. And another one jacked the price up

359
00:12:33,264 --> 00:12:34,705
so much. You're like, I'm not paying you

360
00:12:34,705 --> 00:12:36,100
are not paying that. And I had to

361
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,019
go, y'all be drowning. But, yeah. If I

362
00:12:38,019 --> 00:12:39,379
wanna brighten your day, I'll just bring you

363
00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:39,879
something,

364
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,419
mint mint chocolate. That's true. That's very true.

365
00:12:42,419 --> 00:12:44,039
And that's all you need. Yep.

366
00:12:44,579 --> 00:12:45,799
Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay.

367
00:12:46,259 --> 00:12:47,639
Next question. Okay.

368
00:12:48,705 --> 00:12:50,785
What is something that you could say that

369
00:12:50,785 --> 00:12:52,565
would instantly upset me?

370
00:12:59,264 --> 00:13:00,085
Oh, god.

371
00:13:00,865 --> 00:13:02,865
I know we're talking about it, so it

372
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,165
should not upset me.

373
00:13:07,799 --> 00:13:10,299
You know, I don't think it's it's it's

374
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:11,340
what I say

375
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:16,200
as so much the tone. A 100%. Yeah.

376
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,434
You can say almost anything to me If

377
00:13:18,434 --> 00:13:20,195
the tone I perceive the tone to be

378
00:13:20,195 --> 00:13:22,674
off Yeah. I can't handle it. Mhmm. Mhmm.

379
00:13:22,674 --> 00:13:24,674
Mhmm. But if the tone is fine, I'm

380
00:13:24,674 --> 00:13:26,434
like, you would say whatever. Say what you

381
00:13:26,434 --> 00:13:29,075
gotta say, daddy. Like, she said, so And

382
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,375
and sometimes you just

383
00:13:31,315 --> 00:13:33,735
kind of forget that, you know, I'm

384
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,980
Italian, German, and I, you know I know.

385
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:40,139
You don't the whole family is is low.

386
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,759
Spoken is not in your

387
00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:44,700
vocabulary. When you are soft spoken is usually

388
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,940
when you are feeling a little shy or

389
00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:49,360
introverted or not quite as confident. But

390
00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:52,174
but when you are in your feelings and

391
00:13:52,174 --> 00:13:54,254
you know exactly what you think and how

392
00:13:54,254 --> 00:13:56,115
you feel and what you wanna say,

393
00:13:56,575 --> 00:13:58,254
quiet is not how any of us would

394
00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,154
describe you.

395
00:14:00,415 --> 00:14:01,634
No. That is true.

396
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,769
Yeah. It is tone. It is tone. If

397
00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:05,589
the tone

398
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,570
makes me feel like I did when I

399
00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:08,470
was a kid

400
00:14:09,089 --> 00:14:11,669
with another person raised by Italians who spoke

401
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,649
very much the same way, but in a

402
00:14:13,649 --> 00:14:16,449
traumatic way. Yeah. I've I've gotten better at,

403
00:14:16,449 --> 00:14:18,449
like, just removing myself and going and dealing

404
00:14:18,449 --> 00:14:19,809
with my feelings, and then we could come

405
00:14:19,809 --> 00:14:22,504
back. And doing the self talk of this

406
00:14:22,745 --> 00:14:25,144
he's not actually I'm not a small child

407
00:14:25,144 --> 00:14:27,065
who's being into trouble right now. It is

408
00:14:27,144 --> 00:14:28,205
it's fine.

409
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:32,184
Okay. So what is something that I could

410
00:14:32,184 --> 00:14:35,910
say that would instantly upset your partner? Okay.

411
00:14:35,910 --> 00:14:37,670
I've never said it and I never will,

412
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,570
but I know.

413
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,809
All I have to do

414
00:14:41,110 --> 00:14:43,029
is say or do something that sounds like

415
00:14:43,029 --> 00:14:44,009
your ex wife.

416
00:14:45,444 --> 00:14:47,944
That is your biggest trigger with me.

417
00:14:48,404 --> 00:14:50,644
Yeah. I have never done it, but we've

418
00:14:50,804 --> 00:14:52,164
way back in the archive, we've got an

419
00:14:52,164 --> 00:14:55,044
episode on bad tapes, which not are not

420
00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:57,125
necessarily traumatic things, but they're things that happen

421
00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:58,910
in past relationships that when you get a

422
00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:00,169
whiff of a similar

423
00:15:00,789 --> 00:15:02,470
vibe of it from a current partner, you

424
00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:04,629
treat that current partner like they're your old

425
00:15:04,629 --> 00:15:07,929
partner. It triggers that, reaction. Yeah. It's Mhmm.

426
00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:11,209
We don't argue often.

427
00:15:12,884 --> 00:15:14,325
We have a couple main things that if

428
00:15:14,325 --> 00:15:16,325
we're gonna get tense and get snippy with

429
00:15:16,325 --> 00:15:18,404
one another, they're there. But one of them

430
00:15:18,404 --> 00:15:21,205
is if you perceive Yeah. That I'm reminding

431
00:15:21,205 --> 00:15:22,185
you of your ex.

432
00:15:22,725 --> 00:15:25,700
Yeah. Yep. Yep. Mhmm. And I've gotten really

433
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:28,579
good at standing in, like, my what in

434
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:30,740
firmness and going, I am not insert that

435
00:15:30,740 --> 00:15:32,820
person's name here. And the moment I say

436
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:34,899
that, it's like it's a jolt to your

437
00:15:34,899 --> 00:15:36,259
system. Because one, I don't talk to you

438
00:15:36,259 --> 00:15:38,725
like that. That's true. I can't talk to

439
00:15:38,725 --> 00:15:40,485
you like that. That is true. And, two,

440
00:15:40,485 --> 00:15:41,625
it's like this verbal

441
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,725
reminder. Like, hey. Hey. Woah. Woah. Come get

442
00:15:44,725 --> 00:15:45,705
out of your head.

443
00:15:46,085 --> 00:15:47,764
Talk to the person in front of you.

444
00:15:47,764 --> 00:15:48,585
Right? Yeah.

445
00:15:49,684 --> 00:15:50,424
Yeah. Okay.

446
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:55,700
What's a compliment

447
00:15:56,639 --> 00:15:57,459
that I

448
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,779
would never no.

449
00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:02,399
What's the compliment they'd never get tired of

450
00:16:02,399 --> 00:16:04,799
hearing from you? What's a compliment I would

451
00:16:04,799 --> 00:16:06,240
never get tired of hearing? Hearing from me?

452
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,220
Yeah. Thank you.

453
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,200
Mhmm. I'm too tired to be doing that

454
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:09,914
mental gymnastics.

455
00:16:11,355 --> 00:16:12,174
Good girl.

456
00:16:13,355 --> 00:16:14,334
Or some variation.

457
00:16:14,714 --> 00:16:16,154
Or like I said last night,

458
00:16:16,794 --> 00:16:18,235
I'm proud of you. Oh my god. I

459
00:16:18,235 --> 00:16:20,315
was about to melt. And you melted. I

460
00:16:20,315 --> 00:16:22,315
did. I don't know how to handle compliments.

461
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,394
They make me a little uncomfortable, but also

462
00:16:24,394 --> 00:16:25,820
in this, like, oh my gosh. I feel

463
00:16:25,820 --> 00:16:27,659
so shy. How do you perceive me right

464
00:16:27,659 --> 00:16:28,159
now?

465
00:16:30,459 --> 00:16:33,179
You I've noticed recently you've always done it.

466
00:16:33,179 --> 00:16:35,419
I mean, praise kink is is part of

467
00:16:35,419 --> 00:16:37,679
our dynamic, of course. But

468
00:16:38,299 --> 00:16:39,855
I don't know if it's because

469
00:16:40,394 --> 00:16:42,235
you are kinda coming back to yourself after

470
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:44,475
some rough time or if you're just making

471
00:16:44,475 --> 00:16:46,235
a conscious effort. I don't care what the

472
00:16:46,235 --> 00:16:47,595
reason is. I'm just saying I enjoy it.

473
00:16:47,595 --> 00:16:49,615
Yeah. You have been sprinkling in

474
00:16:49,995 --> 00:16:50,495
more

475
00:16:50,955 --> 00:16:52,735
praise Mhmm. Than,

476
00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:55,300
you know. Know like, you've never not praised

477
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,059
me. You've never ignored a thing I've done

478
00:16:57,300 --> 00:17:00,259
Right. Or been, ungrateful for something or, you

479
00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:02,500
know, dismissive of something I do. But it

480
00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,000
is

481
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:05,220
more consistent Yeah. And has been for the

482
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:07,164
past several months. I mean, that that's kinda

483
00:17:07,164 --> 00:17:08,845
like, you know, one of one of the

484
00:17:08,845 --> 00:17:09,505
big things

485
00:17:09,805 --> 00:17:10,625
with us.

486
00:17:13,325 --> 00:17:14,765
Whenever there are are,

487
00:17:15,085 --> 00:17:15,904
home projects

488
00:17:16,924 --> 00:17:19,085
going on that are, you know, takes a

489
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:19,585
couple

490
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:21,909
sets of hands. Mhmm.

491
00:17:22,570 --> 00:17:24,190
Kayla is my lovely assistant.

492
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:27,609
Because I have the everybody has this not

493
00:17:27,609 --> 00:17:29,130
everybody. A lot of people have the childhood

494
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:30,730
trauma of your dad yelling at you that

495
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:32,589
you didn't know how to hold a flashlight.

496
00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:33,815
If you know, you know?

497
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,875
I was a quick learner. I'm a damn

498
00:17:37,875 --> 00:17:39,875
good assistant because nobody's yelling at me because

499
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,414
I can't hold the flashlight. Right?

500
00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:45,095
Anyhoo. Anyway.

501
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,779
You know, when we are done with said

502
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:54,160
project, I always thank her for your help.

503
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:55,740
That's so weird to me. I know. I'm

504
00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,420
always like, I live in this house too.

505
00:17:57,420 --> 00:17:59,384
Why are you thanking me? But you know

506
00:17:59,384 --> 00:18:01,625
what it it does for me? It reminds

507
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:03,144
me that you are not used to being

508
00:18:03,144 --> 00:18:05,865
in any relationship, not just marriage, not just

509
00:18:05,865 --> 00:18:06,365
romantic,

510
00:18:06,904 --> 00:18:08,845
any relationship with another human

511
00:18:09,144 --> 00:18:09,644
and

512
00:18:10,265 --> 00:18:11,900
being helped, being seen,

513
00:18:12,519 --> 00:18:14,039
you know, not having to do it on

514
00:18:14,039 --> 00:18:15,960
your own. And every time I realized that

515
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,559
because it will get to fussing with one

516
00:18:17,559 --> 00:18:18,759
another. I'm like, you don't have to thank

517
00:18:18,759 --> 00:18:20,359
me. I live here too. This is my

518
00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,119
house to do a project with. He said,

519
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:23,400
yes. I have to thank you because you

520
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,670
didn't have to do this. I'm like, oh,

521
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:28,317
because you've been around shitty people for too

522
00:18:28,317 --> 00:18:30,966
long of your life and that's why. And

523
00:18:30,966 --> 00:18:33,614
then I calmed down and I'm like, okay.

524
00:18:33,614 --> 00:18:36,262
It's fine. It's fine. By the time you're

525
00:18:36,262 --> 00:18:38,910
in your eighties, we'll have worked through that.

526
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:41,869
So what's a compliment you would never get

527
00:18:41,869 --> 00:18:42,849
tired of hearing

528
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:44,289
from me? Mhmm.

529
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:45,330
So

530
00:18:46,910 --> 00:18:48,430
I do feel like an awful person to

531
00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:50,349
admit this, and and you always say it's

532
00:18:50,349 --> 00:18:52,750
because I'm a Scorpio bitch. It might be

533
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:53,410
the neurospicy.

534
00:18:54,554 --> 00:18:56,335
I forget to be complimentary.

535
00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:59,434
I forget to say nice things to people

536
00:18:59,434 --> 00:19:01,514
I care about. I don't forget to say

537
00:19:01,514 --> 00:19:02,255
thank you.

538
00:19:02,714 --> 00:19:04,654
I don't forget to acknowledge

539
00:19:04,954 --> 00:19:05,454
effort.

540
00:19:06,234 --> 00:19:08,394
But I am not a person who's dropping

541
00:19:08,394 --> 00:19:09,694
a lot of compliments.

542
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,369
That's my Scorpio bitch from hell that I

543
00:19:12,369 --> 00:19:14,309
love so much. But here's the thing.

544
00:19:14,610 --> 00:19:17,009
And, again, it just reiterates you've been around

545
00:19:17,009 --> 00:19:18,950
too many shitty people in your life.

546
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:20,150
Oh, god.

547
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:21,990
It's usually

548
00:19:22,289 --> 00:19:24,384
when we've done a scene because because I

549
00:19:24,384 --> 00:19:26,144
treat it as part of your aftercare. But

550
00:19:26,144 --> 00:19:27,684
sometimes it's when,

551
00:19:30,144 --> 00:19:31,285
you did a thing.

552
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,304
Like, yeah. I I'm on the Internet too

553
00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:36,785
much, and I'm on the the vanilla hat

554
00:19:36,785 --> 00:19:38,759
algorithm too much. But there's all the complaints

555
00:19:38,839 --> 00:19:41,880
which are valid, of men who don't see

556
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:45,160
domestic labor as labor. Mhmm. So and I,

557
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:45,740
you know,

558
00:19:46,039 --> 00:19:47,799
I married into that the first time around.

559
00:19:47,799 --> 00:19:50,640
Thankfully learned my lesson. So JB will do

560
00:19:50,759 --> 00:19:52,200
like, he'll just look around and go, you

561
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,960
know, we need to vacuum the floors. And

562
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,235
he will just vacuum them. He will look

563
00:19:56,235 --> 00:19:57,434
at the trash and go, oh we just

564
00:19:57,434 --> 00:19:58,875
need to And he just does the thing,

565
00:19:58,875 --> 00:19:59,375
right?

566
00:19:59,994 --> 00:20:01,994
But he's also like, I'm What I'm gonna

567
00:20:01,994 --> 00:20:03,434
say is I do this in these moments

568
00:20:03,434 --> 00:20:05,134
and I do this in kink scenes.

569
00:20:05,434 --> 00:20:07,619
I just acknowledge it and say thank you

570
00:20:07,619 --> 00:20:08,240
or you

571
00:20:08,779 --> 00:20:11,259
did like I really appreciate that and you

572
00:20:11,259 --> 00:20:12,720
don't know what to do

573
00:20:13,019 --> 00:20:14,079
with compliments.

574
00:20:17,420 --> 00:20:19,099
Your face you get this expression on your

575
00:20:19,099 --> 00:20:21,420
face that is adorable and you don't let

576
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:23,025
it out in public. I'm not asking you

577
00:20:23,025 --> 00:20:24,865
to, but, like, your whole, like, brow, which

578
00:20:24,865 --> 00:20:27,265
is usually in grumpy polar bear mode, just

579
00:20:27,265 --> 00:20:27,765
softens.

580
00:20:28,305 --> 00:20:30,625
And your whole body softens, and you're, like,

581
00:20:30,625 --> 00:20:31,924
you become like a marshmallow.

582
00:20:32,545 --> 00:20:33,825
Like, you don't know what to do with

583
00:20:33,825 --> 00:20:35,825
the compliment, but also, I can tell you

584
00:20:35,825 --> 00:20:38,559
feel really seen. And all I've done is

585
00:20:38,559 --> 00:20:40,179
acknowledge and said thank you.

586
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,859
I mean, wow.

587
00:20:43,599 --> 00:20:44,099
Yeah.

588
00:20:44,799 --> 00:20:46,799
There's a reason that there's one of these

589
00:20:46,799 --> 00:20:47,299
questions

590
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:49,839
that I know the answer to immediately. Didn't

591
00:20:49,839 --> 00:20:51,359
have to think about it. We'll get to

592
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,554
it in a minute. Because I

593
00:20:54,095 --> 00:20:55,454
he should have been treated better than he

594
00:20:55,454 --> 00:20:58,674
was is all I'm saying. Okay. Next question.

595
00:20:59,615 --> 00:21:01,454
This one's a little weird for us because

596
00:21:01,454 --> 00:21:02,974
I don't think it really applies, but we'll

597
00:21:02,974 --> 00:21:05,375
talk about it. Yeah. Which of my friends

598
00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:06,674
do you like the least?

599
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,600
I How Yeah. Yeah. How do I So

600
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:11,720
first of all, you have to know I

601
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,880
don't really have friends. But second of all,

602
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:14,940
here's my thought.

603
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:15,900
My

604
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,080
two best friends are both my mother's age

605
00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,000
because I'm that kind of person. And one

606
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,539
passed away in 2017.

607
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,945
And she was the nurturing one. She was

608
00:21:25,105 --> 00:21:27,424
she had a sarcastic streak a mile wide

609
00:21:27,424 --> 00:21:28,945
but she was always she was like the

610
00:21:28,945 --> 00:21:31,205
Mary Poppins handbag, had everything in it.

611
00:21:31,744 --> 00:21:34,865
And she was like real kinda easy to

612
00:21:34,865 --> 00:21:37,184
be around. JB likes both of my my

613
00:21:37,184 --> 00:21:39,640
closest friends who I've, one I've not seen

614
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,960
in too long. But the other friend whose

615
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,799
name I won't say because she's not kinky.

616
00:21:43,799 --> 00:21:45,820
Right. Right. Right. Lives in South Mississippi.

617
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:48,859
I know you like her. Mhmm.

618
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,200
But when you have gotten to glimpse the

619
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:53,180
two of us together,

620
00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:54,674
I believe we overwhelmed

621
00:21:55,055 --> 00:21:57,474
you and maybe made you a little nervous.

622
00:22:00,015 --> 00:22:00,515
Because

623
00:22:00,815 --> 00:22:02,515
I match her energy

624
00:22:02,815 --> 00:22:05,875
Yes. And our energies are not that dissimilar.

625
00:22:05,934 --> 00:22:08,099
She's just more comfortable being her

626
00:22:08,559 --> 00:22:10,880
and I know because she was the first

627
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,220
person I ever met who took Ritalin. She

628
00:22:13,279 --> 00:22:15,440
she was diagnosed ADD when we still called

629
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:16,579
it ADD. Right?

630
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:17,500
I

631
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,220
met her when I was 19.

632
00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:22,634
She's been that way and she was shocked

633
00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:24,235
that I could keep up with her trains

634
00:22:24,235 --> 00:22:25,515
of thought. I could bring her back around

635
00:22:25,515 --> 00:22:27,195
to a topic. I could I could do

636
00:22:27,195 --> 00:22:28,654
that. Like, we we meshed.

637
00:22:29,275 --> 00:22:31,355
But when we get together, I let up

638
00:22:31,355 --> 00:22:33,195
the side of myself that very rarely gets

639
00:22:33,195 --> 00:22:35,460
to come out in public out because we

640
00:22:35,460 --> 00:22:37,539
feed off of one another. And JB has

641
00:22:37,539 --> 00:22:38,759
had a couple of experiences

642
00:22:39,059 --> 00:22:41,460
of driving both of us back to either,

643
00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:42,980
like, where we were staying or her house

644
00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:45,480
or whatever Mhmm. After way too many margaritas

645
00:22:45,539 --> 00:22:46,913
and a whole hell of a lot of

646
00:22:46,913 --> 00:22:49,377
queso. That was a lot of pictures. They

647
00:22:49,377 --> 00:22:51,842
just kept coming. It's a lot of pictures.

648
00:22:51,842 --> 00:22:54,923
I my if you were the type to

649
00:22:54,923 --> 00:22:57,387
get air quote nervous, I would say that

650
00:22:57,387 --> 00:22:59,980
that friendship, that person, the vibe when we're

651
00:22:59,980 --> 00:23:00,480
together,

652
00:23:01,420 --> 00:23:03,099
that's the closest I would say that they

653
00:23:03,099 --> 00:23:04,000
make you nervous.

654
00:23:05,980 --> 00:23:06,480
Now

655
00:23:07,420 --> 00:23:08,940
I'm gonna do a little lecture because you

656
00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:10,460
don't again, you don't have friends that I

657
00:23:10,460 --> 00:23:12,319
don't like. Mhmm. But here's the problem.

658
00:23:13,180 --> 00:23:14,480
You used to be,

659
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:17,015
before the depression kicked your ass,

660
00:23:17,714 --> 00:23:19,634
a lot more sociable than you are and

661
00:23:19,634 --> 00:23:22,674
you need social interaction. You do better when

662
00:23:22,674 --> 00:23:24,914
you have community. I know technically we all

663
00:23:24,914 --> 00:23:27,015
do better. That's what the like experts say.

664
00:23:27,649 --> 00:23:28,769
Do I do better when I have to

665
00:23:28,769 --> 00:23:30,289
be out among people? I don't think so.

666
00:23:30,289 --> 00:23:31,829
Anyway, but you do.

667
00:23:32,289 --> 00:23:33,109
And so I've

668
00:23:33,490 --> 00:23:35,889
I you've never made a friend with somebody

669
00:23:35,889 --> 00:23:37,429
that I was like, ew.

670
00:23:37,809 --> 00:23:40,369
You've made friends with people that my instant

671
00:23:40,369 --> 00:23:42,585
vibe was, they wouldn't be my friend, but

672
00:23:42,585 --> 00:23:43,085
okay.

673
00:23:44,424 --> 00:23:46,505
And it was vibes based. It was not

674
00:23:46,505 --> 00:23:47,884
based on action or anything.

675
00:23:48,744 --> 00:23:50,984
And so I'm gonna use this question as

676
00:23:50,984 --> 00:23:51,724
an opportunity

677
00:23:52,025 --> 00:23:53,404
to gently encourage

678
00:23:53,944 --> 00:23:54,765
and nudge

679
00:23:56,069 --> 00:23:56,809
and maybe

680
00:23:57,349 --> 00:23:59,269
put in the tough love clause a little

681
00:23:59,269 --> 00:24:01,190
bit that we need to find ways for

682
00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:02,809
you to be in community

683
00:24:03,190 --> 00:24:05,450
with people in person again

684
00:24:05,750 --> 00:24:07,750
because I think that's better for your mental

685
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:08,055
health.

686
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:11,735
Now if you ever befriend somebody that I

687
00:24:11,735 --> 00:24:13,735
think is an awful human being

688
00:24:14,055 --> 00:24:14,555
Mhmm.

689
00:24:15,095 --> 00:24:16,875
I will not be able to hide that.

690
00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:19,335
That's true. You wouldn't. I wouldn't tell you

691
00:24:19,414 --> 00:24:20,615
I would never tell you who you could

692
00:24:20,615 --> 00:24:22,775
be friends with, but you would know. Yeah.

693
00:24:22,775 --> 00:24:24,839
You Oh, yeah. I have I have no

694
00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:26,859
doubt about that. Yeah. So

695
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:28,140
Okay.

696
00:24:29,079 --> 00:24:30,299
What do you think

697
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:31,980
my biggest insecurity

698
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,400
is? Pick. There's a list. Not not being

699
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:37,845
seen.

700
00:24:38,884 --> 00:24:39,944
Not being heard.

701
00:24:40,884 --> 00:24:41,384
Mhmm.

702
00:24:41,845 --> 00:24:43,704
Being dismissed. Yep. Yeah.

703
00:24:44,085 --> 00:24:45,765
Yeah. I mean, I do have a laundry

704
00:24:45,765 --> 00:24:47,684
list but that one that one triggers me

705
00:24:47,684 --> 00:24:49,924
a lot more than other things do. Like,

706
00:24:49,924 --> 00:24:51,704
I got ins I got inscurious.

707
00:24:52,470 --> 00:24:52,970
But,

708
00:24:53,269 --> 00:24:54,569
yeah. But you know what?

709
00:24:55,509 --> 00:24:56,730
Right back at you,

710
00:24:57,029 --> 00:24:59,289
your biggest insecurity is being dismissed,

711
00:24:59,829 --> 00:25:01,589
is not being listened to, is not being

712
00:25:01,589 --> 00:25:02,089
heard,

713
00:25:02,390 --> 00:25:03,609
is being

714
00:25:05,154 --> 00:25:06,595
treated like you don't know what you're talking

715
00:25:06,595 --> 00:25:08,275
about, like what you have to say is

716
00:25:08,275 --> 00:25:09,015
not important.

717
00:25:10,914 --> 00:25:13,394
Yeah. You anytime something you get a whiff

718
00:25:13,394 --> 00:25:15,815
of that vibe from me or anybody else,

719
00:25:16,674 --> 00:25:18,670
it fucks with you. As I mean, I

720
00:25:18,670 --> 00:25:20,350
know where it comes from as it should

721
00:25:20,350 --> 00:25:21,250
fuck with you.

722
00:25:22,350 --> 00:25:22,850
Okay.

723
00:25:24,830 --> 00:25:26,049
Next one.

724
00:25:31,585 --> 00:25:33,525
What part of your body

725
00:25:33,984 --> 00:25:36,005
do I find most attractive?

726
00:25:38,625 --> 00:25:40,325
It's a toss-up. K.

727
00:25:40,944 --> 00:25:41,444
Between

728
00:25:41,825 --> 00:25:43,319
legs and forearms. Yes.

729
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,139
Yes. You got good hands too.

730
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,359
You got good for you wear a a

731
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,240
button up shirt and roll those sleeves up?

732
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:53,880
I mean, good lord. I

733
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:56,359
look, I would already do whatever you said

734
00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,359
because that's what we do here, but I

735
00:25:58,359 --> 00:25:59,934
would do it in a much better mood,

736
00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:03,134
whatever it was. Quicker even. Just flash me

737
00:26:03,134 --> 00:26:04,034
a little forearm,

738
00:26:04,575 --> 00:26:05,934
put the kilt on, let me look at

739
00:26:05,934 --> 00:26:07,454
your legs. Let me just lay on the

740
00:26:07,454 --> 00:26:08,974
ground and have you walk past me and

741
00:26:08,974 --> 00:26:11,075
I'll discover what people wear under kilts.

742
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:11,880
Happily.

743
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,400
Yeah. In non sexual ways, we might just

744
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:18,920
be chilling and I'll either be rubbing his

745
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,799
forearm or rubbing his leg, like, there's just

746
00:26:21,799 --> 00:26:23,259
nice parts of you.

747
00:26:24,279 --> 00:26:26,224
The third on the list are your eyes.

748
00:26:26,224 --> 00:26:28,224
Your eyes are so fucking blue. Like, you're

749
00:26:28,224 --> 00:26:30,085
wearing that shirt right now and it's, like,

750
00:26:30,384 --> 00:26:32,304
pop blue. I was a kid who was,

751
00:26:32,304 --> 00:26:34,164
like, I have these boring brown eyes.

752
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:35,125
Right?

753
00:26:35,664 --> 00:26:37,230
I always thought blue eyes were, like,

754
00:26:38,190 --> 00:26:38,690
amazing.

755
00:26:39,150 --> 00:26:40,929
So yeah. Okay. So

756
00:26:42,509 --> 00:26:43,009
what

757
00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:45,490
okay. How do we ask it?

758
00:26:46,669 --> 00:26:48,289
What part of

759
00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:50,684
how do we ask it in reverse?

760
00:26:51,164 --> 00:26:52,045
My brain is so

761
00:26:54,285 --> 00:26:56,605
what part of okay. I have to answer

762
00:26:56,605 --> 00:26:58,285
what part of my body you find most

763
00:26:58,285 --> 00:27:00,545
attractive. Mhmm. I'll get there eventually.

764
00:27:02,845 --> 00:27:05,565
Top top top top, in my opinion, is

765
00:27:05,565 --> 00:27:06,029
my ass.

766
00:27:06,990 --> 00:27:07,490
Yeah.

767
00:27:08,029 --> 00:27:10,130
Followed, I think, probably by my boobs.

768
00:27:11,309 --> 00:27:13,710
Yeah. But definitely Oh, the yeah. Yo. You

769
00:27:13,710 --> 00:27:15,549
were an ass man from way five

770
00:27:16,190 --> 00:27:18,430
thank god because that's a feature I've always

771
00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:19,570
liked about myself.

772
00:27:21,230 --> 00:27:23,875
It's a nice confidence booster when your partner

773
00:27:23,875 --> 00:27:25,494
also likes that.

774
00:27:26,674 --> 00:27:27,734
Well, you know,

775
00:27:28,515 --> 00:27:29,335
given that

776
00:27:29,955 --> 00:27:31,975
I like to spank it so much.

777
00:27:33,475 --> 00:27:34,934
Thank God. And rub it.

778
00:27:35,315 --> 00:27:37,430
I mean. True true true. The limit does

779
00:27:37,430 --> 00:27:39,750
not exist. So you like you like to

780
00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:41,349
spank it, but do you do it enough?

781
00:27:41,349 --> 00:27:43,670
Not really. You like to rub it, but

782
00:27:43,670 --> 00:27:45,769
do you do it enough? Never. Yeah.

783
00:27:46,230 --> 00:27:48,070
No. I mean, you could just make touching

784
00:27:48,070 --> 00:27:49,755
my ass your full time job.

785
00:27:50,234 --> 00:27:52,315
You know? Work double overtime. That that just

786
00:27:52,315 --> 00:27:54,634
gave me that just gave me a thought.

787
00:27:54,634 --> 00:27:55,775
Uh-oh. Oh, god.

788
00:27:59,115 --> 00:28:00,734
That just gave me a thought.

789
00:28:01,769 --> 00:28:03,230
I could put butt rubs

790
00:28:04,490 --> 00:28:07,289
in obedience as a Would I still get

791
00:28:07,289 --> 00:28:09,049
my nightly butt rubs? These would be butt

792
00:28:09,049 --> 00:28:10,990
rubs on top of the regular okay.

793
00:28:12,009 --> 00:28:14,490
Like, don't be, like, don't be, what's the

794
00:28:14,490 --> 00:28:15,309
word I want?

795
00:28:15,690 --> 00:28:16,990
Hoarding butt rubs.

796
00:28:17,455 --> 00:28:17,955
And,

797
00:28:18,575 --> 00:28:20,095
have to set a time limit. They're not

798
00:28:20,095 --> 00:28:21,154
unlimited time.

799
00:28:21,695 --> 00:28:23,695
But they're longer than what I get normally.

800
00:28:23,695 --> 00:28:25,535
Right? Because this is a you wanna know

801
00:28:25,535 --> 00:28:26,674
how quickly I'll be

802
00:28:27,134 --> 00:28:28,434
turning into some bowling?

803
00:28:28,894 --> 00:28:31,079
Look, we've been doing obedience for several months

804
00:28:31,079 --> 00:28:33,079
now. Right? I've been racking up points. It's

805
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:33,579
fine.

806
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:34,859
Only

807
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,079
twice. And yesterday was one of them. One

808
00:28:37,079 --> 00:28:38,380
of them. Yeah. I said,

809
00:28:38,839 --> 00:28:40,839
I I would like to turn in points,

810
00:28:40,839 --> 00:28:41,960
and it's a thing you do in the

811
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,720
app. I would like to get my Diet

812
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:44,539
Coke reward.

813
00:28:45,914 --> 00:28:47,194
I forgot to do it for yesterday. I

814
00:28:47,194 --> 00:28:48,315
need to go back in and do it.

815
00:28:48,315 --> 00:28:50,075
But yesterday's Jamie was like, I think you

816
00:28:50,075 --> 00:28:51,434
just need it. You don't even need to

817
00:28:51,434 --> 00:28:53,214
be a reward. Here's your Diet Coke.

818
00:28:53,914 --> 00:28:55,835
I would like that same energy for butt

819
00:28:55,835 --> 00:28:57,914
rubs. Sometimes they it's not a reward. I

820
00:28:57,914 --> 00:28:58,894
just need them.

821
00:28:59,835 --> 00:29:00,690
All I'm saying.

822
00:29:01,250 --> 00:29:01,750
Okay.

823
00:29:03,169 --> 00:29:03,669
Okay.

824
00:29:05,490 --> 00:29:06,869
What is my

825
00:29:07,250 --> 00:29:09,730
he called it a sliding door moment. The

826
00:29:09,889 --> 00:29:12,049
where if they had gone left instead of

827
00:29:12,049 --> 00:29:14,149
right, made this one different decision,

828
00:29:14,450 --> 00:29:15,884
their whole life would have gone down a

829
00:29:15,884 --> 00:29:17,805
different path. What do you think my sliding

830
00:29:17,805 --> 00:29:20,384
door decision is? Not leaving your ex?

831
00:29:20,765 --> 00:29:22,684
Or leaving your ex, I should say. Oh,

832
00:29:22,684 --> 00:29:24,765
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For a 100%. A 100%.

833
00:29:26,285 --> 00:29:28,144
I would to add that the

834
00:29:29,539 --> 00:29:30,039
second

835
00:29:30,419 --> 00:29:32,039
is starting a sex blog,

836
00:29:34,579 --> 00:29:36,579
which really we could go deciding that I'm

837
00:29:36,579 --> 00:29:38,579
just gonna fucking masturbate in my thirties for

838
00:29:38,579 --> 00:29:41,079
the first time in my life because that

839
00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:42,315
sent me down.

840
00:29:42,954 --> 00:29:45,034
But I couldn't I would not have been

841
00:29:45,034 --> 00:29:45,774
in the

842
00:29:46,154 --> 00:29:48,315
been willing to do that exploration and have

843
00:29:48,315 --> 00:29:49,454
my sexual awakening

844
00:29:49,914 --> 00:29:52,394
at 32 without the divorce. So, yeah, the

845
00:29:52,394 --> 00:29:54,714
whole whole life would look completely different. Yeah.

846
00:29:54,714 --> 00:29:56,234
Okay. So What do you think what do

847
00:29:56,234 --> 00:29:58,730
you think mine is? Your sliding door went,

848
00:29:58,730 --> 00:29:59,789
oh my god.

849
00:30:01,210 --> 00:30:02,490
I mean, I could see where there'd be

850
00:30:02,490 --> 00:30:05,049
several. Yeah. I think I think everybody's life

851
00:30:05,049 --> 00:30:06,970
probably has several. The one that is coming

852
00:30:06,970 --> 00:30:08,829
to mind right now based on the conversations

853
00:30:09,130 --> 00:30:11,289
we've been having is when you decided at

854
00:30:11,289 --> 00:30:12,730
18 to get the hell out of your

855
00:30:12,730 --> 00:30:14,715
house. Yeah. And then what were you? 20,

856
00:30:14,715 --> 00:30:16,494
'21 when you came down to Florida?

857
00:30:17,115 --> 00:30:19,994
Mhmm. Yep. Mhmm. Yeah. If I had stayed

858
00:30:19,994 --> 00:30:22,234
in New York, yeah, things would have been

859
00:30:22,234 --> 00:30:23,674
lost. You would be a different human being.

860
00:30:23,674 --> 00:30:25,275
I'm not even like, I'm not even talking

861
00:30:25,275 --> 00:30:26,315
about the kink stuff. I think you would

862
00:30:26,315 --> 00:30:27,934
have gotten to the kink stuff eventually,

863
00:30:28,559 --> 00:30:29,059
but

864
00:30:29,839 --> 00:30:31,299
I think if you

865
00:30:31,679 --> 00:30:32,740
had to live

866
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:34,740
in

867
00:30:35,359 --> 00:30:37,440
and I don't use this word lightly, in

868
00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:38,099
the toxicity

869
00:30:38,799 --> 00:30:40,500
of your home life Mhmm.

870
00:30:41,115 --> 00:30:43,275
And stayed there and felt stuck there Oh,

871
00:30:43,275 --> 00:30:45,914
yeah. You would you're not even your temperament

872
00:30:45,914 --> 00:30:47,914
would be what it is today. No. Oh,

873
00:30:47,914 --> 00:30:49,355
god. No. I mean, the fact that you

874
00:30:49,355 --> 00:30:51,595
are I'd for years, have just looked at

875
00:30:51,595 --> 00:30:53,194
him and gone, how did you turn out

876
00:30:53,194 --> 00:30:55,375
like this? Because there's nothing in your life

877
00:30:55,700 --> 00:30:57,940
in those formative years that points to you

878
00:30:57,940 --> 00:31:00,759
being this emotionally mature, emotionally intelligent,

879
00:31:01,220 --> 00:31:01,720
communicative,

880
00:31:02,099 --> 00:31:03,619
like in touch with your feelings. You know,

881
00:31:03,619 --> 00:31:05,240
yeah. I can, you know,

882
00:31:06,259 --> 00:31:08,579
it's weird because even as a little little

883
00:31:08,579 --> 00:31:09,079
kid,

884
00:31:10,414 --> 00:31:13,054
I knew something was wrong Mhmm. That that

885
00:31:13,054 --> 00:31:13,954
wasn't right.

886
00:31:14,734 --> 00:31:16,815
Mhmm. I think, truly, I think a lot

887
00:31:16,815 --> 00:31:18,974
of people have that have a time when

888
00:31:18,974 --> 00:31:20,115
they understand it.

889
00:31:20,894 --> 00:31:21,394
It's

890
00:31:22,429 --> 00:31:24,690
that sometimes that time goes past and

891
00:31:25,069 --> 00:31:26,529
they forget, they suppress.

892
00:31:26,990 --> 00:31:29,230
Yeah. Well, your decision's at eighteenth. Some of

893
00:31:29,230 --> 00:31:31,069
them should have landed you in jail. I'm

894
00:31:31,069 --> 00:31:33,089
glad they did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know.

895
00:31:33,470 --> 00:31:35,390
But that that yeah. I think you'd be

896
00:31:35,390 --> 00:31:37,704
just a different human being with,

897
00:31:39,304 --> 00:31:41,164
if you don't had not done that.

898
00:31:42,264 --> 00:31:42,764
Okay.

899
00:31:44,984 --> 00:31:46,825
When you die, I know this. What do

900
00:31:46,825 --> 00:31:48,504
you wanna do with your body? You're not

901
00:31:48,504 --> 00:31:51,150
dying. First of all, we've established this. Okay?

902
00:31:51,769 --> 00:31:52,990
We're going out together.

903
00:31:53,289 --> 00:31:54,329
I don't care if you gotta live to

904
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:55,289
be 120.

905
00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:56,349
That's what we're doing.

906
00:31:57,210 --> 00:31:58,490
I know what I wanna do with your

907
00:31:58,490 --> 00:32:00,730
body. You keep telling me no, and I

908
00:32:00,730 --> 00:32:02,650
guess consent matters. So I know you wanna

909
00:32:02,650 --> 00:32:04,984
be cremated. Yeah. And and I know you

910
00:32:04,984 --> 00:32:06,664
want the same. Right. And then I wanna

911
00:32:06,664 --> 00:32:08,664
be fucking scattered. Do not. I don't need

912
00:32:08,664 --> 00:32:10,904
the kids lugging me around. I lugged my

913
00:32:10,904 --> 00:32:14,204
dad around for fifteen years, twenty years.

914
00:32:15,384 --> 00:32:15,884
Wait.

915
00:32:16,589 --> 00:32:17,490
Twenty two.

916
00:32:17,869 --> 00:32:18,369
Yeah.

917
00:32:18,750 --> 00:32:21,089
He's been gone twenty three years.

918
00:32:21,789 --> 00:32:23,470
I let him around for about ten to

919
00:32:23,470 --> 00:32:23,970
fifteen

920
00:32:24,429 --> 00:32:26,849
because he went to my mom Mhmm. First,

921
00:32:27,950 --> 00:32:29,410
and then she

922
00:32:31,565 --> 00:32:33,884
met and married the evil stepdad. And at

923
00:32:33,884 --> 00:32:35,644
some point in that time, she was like,

924
00:32:35,644 --> 00:32:36,144
oh.

925
00:32:36,845 --> 00:32:39,904
She she had, like, a beautiful case for

926
00:32:40,204 --> 00:32:42,865
his urn, and I can't remember how long.

927
00:32:44,330 --> 00:32:46,090
Not long after they got married, I think.

928
00:32:46,090 --> 00:32:47,869
She went, here. Take your dad.

929
00:32:49,369 --> 00:32:50,970
I was like and she was like, here's

930
00:32:50,970 --> 00:32:52,110
the beautiful, like,

931
00:32:52,890 --> 00:32:53,390
doolally.

932
00:32:53,850 --> 00:32:55,369
You can put them in. Here's like, oh

933
00:32:55,369 --> 00:32:56,570
my god. The time I opened the first

934
00:32:56,570 --> 00:32:57,690
time I ever opened the drawer where she

935
00:32:57,690 --> 00:32:58,990
had put some of his things,

936
00:32:59,984 --> 00:33:02,005
the his obituary in the paper,

937
00:33:02,305 --> 00:33:04,404
his glasses, his watch. Mhmm.

938
00:33:04,945 --> 00:33:06,305
Apparently, she had kept a thing of his

939
00:33:06,305 --> 00:33:07,765
cologne, like, in the

940
00:33:08,705 --> 00:33:11,045
whatever piece of furniture that she kept earning.

941
00:33:11,105 --> 00:33:12,779
I opened it and I got a whiff

942
00:33:12,779 --> 00:33:15,599
of his cologne almost fell the fuck

943
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:18,160
out. But I hung on to him through,

944
00:33:19,019 --> 00:33:20,480
two babies and a divorce.

945
00:33:20,940 --> 00:33:22,779
I finally went Well He needs to have

946
00:33:22,779 --> 00:33:24,539
a final rest in place. I can I

947
00:33:24,539 --> 00:33:26,565
I can So I wanna be scattered somewhere?

948
00:33:26,804 --> 00:33:28,724
I I I know where I want my

949
00:33:28,724 --> 00:33:31,044
ashes scattered. And I'm drawing a blank. I

950
00:33:31,044 --> 00:33:32,964
know we've had this conversation. It's a it's

951
00:33:32,964 --> 00:33:34,504
a place in Pasco County.

952
00:33:34,964 --> 00:33:36,744
Mhmm. Yep. Yeah. Well, I remember this conversation.

953
00:33:36,804 --> 00:33:37,304
Yep.

954
00:33:37,605 --> 00:33:39,589
I don't give a fuck. I'm just gonna

955
00:33:39,650 --> 00:33:41,829
leave the instructions for whoever gets

956
00:33:42,369 --> 00:33:45,170
me. When you open me up, make sure

957
00:33:45,170 --> 00:33:46,309
the wind is

958
00:33:46,609 --> 00:33:49,170
blowing in the correct way. Right. Don't inhale

959
00:33:49,170 --> 00:33:51,170
your mom. Don't don't have it blowing back

960
00:33:51,170 --> 00:33:51,974
at you. Nope.

961
00:33:52,855 --> 00:33:55,174
Nope. Have had almost had that moment once.

962
00:33:55,174 --> 00:33:56,954
Nope. Don't wanna do that.

963
00:33:57,414 --> 00:33:58,634
Don't wanna do that.

964
00:34:00,134 --> 00:34:00,634
Okay.

965
00:34:01,255 --> 00:34:02,154
Next one.

966
00:34:05,734 --> 00:34:07,255
The question is for me, who is not

967
00:34:07,255 --> 00:34:09,760
allowed to speak at JB's funeral? Any fucking

968
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:12,260
body from his family. Except for one cousin.

969
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,320
One cousin. And if you're well, no. I

970
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,920
don't think you would let would want your

971
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,760
aunt, if she were even alive at that

972
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,599
point, to speak because then we'd be there

973
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:21,065
for, like, two weeks while she just kept

974
00:34:21,065 --> 00:34:24,585
talking. Right. Yeah. Maybe one cousin. Yeah. But

975
00:34:24,824 --> 00:34:25,324
Nobody.

976
00:34:25,625 --> 00:34:26,125
Nobody

977
00:34:26,585 --> 00:34:28,045
from your immediate family.

978
00:34:29,065 --> 00:34:30,585
So who's not allowed to speak at my

979
00:34:30,585 --> 00:34:31,085
funeral?

980
00:34:32,025 --> 00:34:33,784
I don't have people who, like I don't

981
00:34:33,784 --> 00:34:35,630
have a big family. Yeah. By the time

982
00:34:35,630 --> 00:34:37,390
I'm gone, they'll I'll have the kids and

983
00:34:37,390 --> 00:34:38,289
that's about it.

984
00:34:38,829 --> 00:34:39,869
I would if

985
00:34:41,070 --> 00:34:42,930
yes. Since your family is so nuclear,

986
00:34:43,869 --> 00:34:45,170
I would have to say,

987
00:34:46,269 --> 00:34:47,090
your aunt.

988
00:34:47,869 --> 00:34:48,369
Yeah.

989
00:34:49,434 --> 00:34:50,795
And that's sad. There was a time I'd

990
00:34:50,795 --> 00:34:52,234
have been like, oh, she will tell the

991
00:34:52,234 --> 00:34:55,674
funniest stories and the best jokes. Yeah. And

992
00:34:55,914 --> 00:34:57,214
I know. Yeah.

993
00:34:58,635 --> 00:35:00,234
She probably still would try to tell the

994
00:35:00,234 --> 00:35:02,099
the best stories and the funniest jokes, but

995
00:35:02,099 --> 00:35:02,840
I think something

996
00:35:03,539 --> 00:35:05,619
awkward would slip in and be like, oh.

997
00:35:05,619 --> 00:35:07,079
Yeah. Yeah. From from

998
00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:09,860
the afterlife, wherever the fuck that is, I'd

999
00:35:09,860 --> 00:35:12,200
be like, oh, god. That's cringe. Okay. Mhmm.

1000
00:35:12,420 --> 00:35:14,340
I I would say the person who if

1001
00:35:14,340 --> 00:35:15,664
I have a funeral, this will be up

1002
00:35:15,664 --> 00:35:18,005
to my children probably by the way.

1003
00:35:19,824 --> 00:35:22,224
I don't even I I can't even imagine

1004
00:35:22,224 --> 00:35:24,164
what they have planned for me.

1005
00:35:25,744 --> 00:35:27,605
But I think if the oldest talked,

1006
00:35:27,985 --> 00:35:29,579
he would be the only one that talked,

1007
00:35:29,820 --> 00:35:31,660
but he would talk a very long time.

1008
00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:32,400
Oh, yeah.

1009
00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:35,019
Yeah. It'd be my funeral and everybody be

1010
00:35:35,019 --> 00:35:37,119
checking their watches like, are we done?

1011
00:35:38,059 --> 00:35:40,219
Well, you know what? He would he would

1012
00:35:40,219 --> 00:35:41,519
talk for himself.

1013
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:42,400
Mhmm.

1014
00:35:42,704 --> 00:35:44,465
And he would talk for the for the

1015
00:35:44,465 --> 00:35:47,025
youngest. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Because the youngest

1016
00:35:47,025 --> 00:35:49,265
is not Yeah. Nor would I ask that

1017
00:35:49,265 --> 00:35:50,565
of them. Okay.

1018
00:35:51,505 --> 00:35:52,005
What

1019
00:35:52,545 --> 00:35:55,265
what is one of from your perspective, my

1020
00:35:55,265 --> 00:35:55,765
favorite

1021
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,960
yeah. What is your partnership? What is one

1022
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,639
of my favorite memories from our relationship? I

1023
00:36:02,639 --> 00:36:04,480
don't know how these questions work when I

1024
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,099
have to reward them. I'm sorry.

1025
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:08,159
What do you think one of my favorite

1026
00:36:08,159 --> 00:36:09,059
memories is?

1027
00:36:14,235 --> 00:36:15,054
Oh, gosh.

1028
00:36:15,515 --> 00:36:17,054
Yeah. I know pick. Yeah.

1029
00:36:17,594 --> 00:36:18,974
I know. I'm gonna go

1030
00:36:19,994 --> 00:36:21,914
simple, the first time we met in person.

1031
00:36:21,914 --> 00:36:23,539
See, I was gonna say that was your

1032
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,239
favorite. Because so when we first met in

1033
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:26,739
person,

1034
00:36:27,039 --> 00:36:28,800
I did the thing I would never recommend

1035
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:31,599
to any fucking body. Don't do what we

1036
00:36:31,599 --> 00:36:32,820
did. Okay?

1037
00:36:33,519 --> 00:36:34,960
I knew he was on his way, been

1038
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,640
checking in. I was like, okay, let me

1039
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:38,394
know when you get close. Well, okay. I

1040
00:36:38,394 --> 00:36:39,994
left my front door unlocked. I said, just

1041
00:36:39,994 --> 00:36:41,114
come on in. You don't need to knock.

1042
00:36:41,114 --> 00:36:42,315
You just come on in. I think I

1043
00:36:42,315 --> 00:36:43,594
was playing off like, I was gonna be

1044
00:36:43,594 --> 00:36:45,355
busy. Just walk on in. And when he

1045
00:36:45,355 --> 00:36:47,434
walked in, I was in, like, a very

1046
00:36:47,434 --> 00:36:48,815
specific kneeling position

1047
00:36:49,275 --> 00:36:51,835
Mhmm. Wearing nothing but a purple button up

1048
00:36:51,835 --> 00:36:52,889
men's dress shirt.

1049
00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:54,889
It was like the sexiest moment I've ever

1050
00:36:54,889 --> 00:36:55,710
had in my life.

1051
00:36:56,170 --> 00:36:57,609
And I wanted that to be the first

1052
00:36:57,609 --> 00:36:58,510
thing you saw.

1053
00:36:59,369 --> 00:37:01,469
So I always think that's your favorite memory.

1054
00:37:01,609 --> 00:37:04,010
Maybe it's both our memories. Probably. Favorite memory.

1055
00:37:04,010 --> 00:37:06,170
The the others on my list for you

1056
00:37:06,170 --> 00:37:07,529
that I would say are probably some of

1057
00:37:07,529 --> 00:37:08,190
your favorite.

1058
00:37:08,954 --> 00:37:10,474
Not the very first time I rode on

1059
00:37:10,474 --> 00:37:12,474
his motorcycle because I cried and I sweated

1060
00:37:12,474 --> 00:37:13,775
through his his shirt.

1061
00:37:14,315 --> 00:37:16,155
But the second time I rode on his

1062
00:37:16,155 --> 00:37:18,075
motorcycle and a couple of times when we

1063
00:37:18,075 --> 00:37:19,755
still lived in Tampa Bay area. We went

1064
00:37:19,755 --> 00:37:20,235
to get,

1065
00:37:20,715 --> 00:37:21,215
burgers.

1066
00:37:21,835 --> 00:37:24,500
The first time? Yeah. Yeah. And I was

1067
00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:26,579
holding on to you and your my hands

1068
00:37:26,579 --> 00:37:28,900
are on your stomach. And when we stopped,

1069
00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:30,420
we only went a mile up the road,

1070
00:37:30,420 --> 00:37:30,920
y'all.

1071
00:37:31,219 --> 00:37:33,960
When he pulled into the parking lot and

1072
00:37:34,019 --> 00:37:35,860
I pulled my hands away, there were hand

1073
00:37:35,860 --> 00:37:37,094
prints of my sweat.

1074
00:37:37,574 --> 00:37:38,635
I've been so

1075
00:37:39,175 --> 00:37:39,675
nervous.

1076
00:37:40,375 --> 00:37:42,215
After that, I was better. After that, I

1077
00:37:42,215 --> 00:37:44,534
was better. I mean, I one of the

1078
00:37:44,534 --> 00:37:46,054
last rides I ever got to go on

1079
00:37:46,054 --> 00:37:47,994
with you on the your

1080
00:37:48,534 --> 00:37:51,014
your shadow Mhmm. Not your Can Am. We

1081
00:37:51,014 --> 00:37:52,199
still haven't gotten there.

1082
00:37:52,599 --> 00:37:55,000
We did this long windy road and it

1083
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:55,500
was

1084
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,960
it actually inspired an article that I wrote

1085
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,339
and sold to some site.

1086
00:38:00,119 --> 00:38:02,119
Mhmm. But that was like that free moment

1087
00:38:02,119 --> 00:38:04,039
of we're just like I was just grooving

1088
00:38:04,039 --> 00:38:05,480
with you. The one thing you always said

1089
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,005
when I would ride the motorcycle with you

1090
00:38:07,005 --> 00:38:08,364
is you told me okay lean with me

1091
00:38:08,364 --> 00:38:09,964
but he would go you you did a

1092
00:38:09,964 --> 00:38:11,244
good job with that. And I was like

1093
00:38:11,244 --> 00:38:12,944
I'm like a fucking burr

1094
00:38:15,484 --> 00:38:18,304
attached to your clothing. Don't worry I'm leaning

1095
00:38:18,364 --> 00:38:19,025
with you.

1096
00:38:19,404 --> 00:38:21,324
So I guess motorcycle riding your motorcycle is

1097
00:38:21,324 --> 00:38:23,579
one of my favorite memories too. Now, the

1098
00:38:23,579 --> 00:38:25,500
one that to this day can still bring

1099
00:38:25,500 --> 00:38:26,880
a cheesy grin to my face,

1100
00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:29,820
wedding, anything wedding. When we were sitting up

1101
00:38:29,820 --> 00:38:31,980
there and you kept getting me drinks that

1102
00:38:31,980 --> 00:38:33,200
definitely were,

1103
00:38:34,539 --> 00:38:35,039
alcoholic.

1104
00:38:35,474 --> 00:38:37,715
When I embarrassed my children, like, I thought

1105
00:38:37,715 --> 00:38:39,235
they wanted the ground to open them up

1106
00:38:39,235 --> 00:38:40,835
and swallow them because did I do the

1107
00:38:40,835 --> 00:38:43,235
ChaCha slide? Hell, yeah. I did. Did I

1108
00:38:43,235 --> 00:38:45,815
do the electric slide? Hell, yeah. I did.

1109
00:38:45,875 --> 00:38:47,474
There was another one. I can't remember what

1110
00:38:47,474 --> 00:38:49,109
it's called, but it's like a very popular

1111
00:38:49,109 --> 00:38:51,429
whatever whatever it lined it. Yes. I did.

1112
00:38:51,429 --> 00:38:52,409
Because I was

1113
00:38:52,710 --> 00:38:55,349
I wasn't drunk, but I was feeling no

1114
00:38:55,349 --> 00:38:57,349
pain and as happy as I've ever fucking

1115
00:38:57,349 --> 00:38:57,849
been.

1116
00:38:58,469 --> 00:39:00,789
It was the first major life moment that

1117
00:39:00,789 --> 00:39:02,089
I was having that I chose

1118
00:39:03,785 --> 00:39:04,925
that I

1119
00:39:05,704 --> 00:39:07,164
wanted to be there

1120
00:39:07,465 --> 00:39:10,265
completely. It wasn't, oh, it's this stressful moment.

1121
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:11,545
It's supposed to be this great moment, but

1122
00:39:11,545 --> 00:39:12,525
it's really stressful.

1123
00:39:13,305 --> 00:39:15,704
When I when I got married the first

1124
00:39:15,704 --> 00:39:18,140
time, my dad had only been gone like

1125
00:39:18,140 --> 00:39:19,900
four or five weeks at that point, maybe

1126
00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:20,400
six.

1127
00:39:21,099 --> 00:39:23,500
When the oldest was born, he was a

1128
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:26,300
month early. We were flat broke, had, the

1129
00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:27,980
water had just been turned off at our

1130
00:39:27,980 --> 00:39:30,220
house. I was very stressed. When the,

1131
00:39:31,605 --> 00:39:34,005
second was born, that I was I was

1132
00:39:34,005 --> 00:39:36,164
cool, calm, and collected, but I think I

1133
00:39:36,164 --> 00:39:38,344
was figuring out I didn't like my husband.

1134
00:39:39,364 --> 00:39:39,864
So

1135
00:39:44,090 --> 00:39:46,010
us getting married was, like, the first time

1136
00:39:46,010 --> 00:39:48,750
I ever had this big life changing event

1137
00:39:48,969 --> 00:39:49,710
and was

1138
00:39:50,090 --> 00:39:51,690
that you and what we were doing was

1139
00:39:51,690 --> 00:39:52,590
my only focus.

1140
00:39:52,969 --> 00:39:55,690
Like, the outside world didn't matter. I on

1141
00:39:55,690 --> 00:39:56,175
my

1142
00:39:56,494 --> 00:39:57,554
physical, financial,

1143
00:39:58,094 --> 00:40:00,175
emotional needs outside of our relationship were being

1144
00:40:00,175 --> 00:40:01,954
met. I had a safe place to live.

1145
00:40:02,175 --> 00:40:04,755
Our lights were on. Our water was on.

1146
00:40:04,894 --> 00:40:07,454
My kids were healthy and safe. Like, I

1147
00:40:07,454 --> 00:40:09,554
was at that point working in a

1148
00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:10,360
self

1149
00:40:10,900 --> 00:40:12,599
self made air quote career

1150
00:40:13,219 --> 00:40:15,300
that I loved and we were doing well

1151
00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:18,760
at. Like, I like, life was fucking good.

1152
00:40:19,300 --> 00:40:21,239
And then I got to have this main

1153
00:40:21,780 --> 00:40:22,599
life moment

1154
00:40:22,980 --> 00:40:25,074
that's typically very big for folks

1155
00:40:25,614 --> 00:40:28,174
and not nothing could have stressed me out.

1156
00:40:28,174 --> 00:40:30,094
We didn't have an officiant. I was pissed,

1157
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:31,534
but you know what I wasn't? I wasn't

1158
00:40:31,534 --> 00:40:32,034
stressed.

1159
00:40:32,494 --> 00:40:33,954
We were supposed to have a photographer.

1160
00:40:34,335 --> 00:40:35,694
I was pissed, but you know what I

1161
00:40:35,694 --> 00:40:37,694
wasn't? I wasn't stressed. Because I didn't actually

1162
00:40:37,694 --> 00:40:39,019
care about most of the stuff. Like the

1163
00:40:39,019 --> 00:40:40,619
officiant, that was how we were gonna slide

1164
00:40:40,619 --> 00:40:42,859
some kink in without anybody knowing. Yeah. So

1165
00:40:42,859 --> 00:40:43,839
I was disappointed,

1166
00:40:44,699 --> 00:40:46,880
but it didn't take away my joy. True.

1167
00:40:47,420 --> 00:40:49,039
So that's another one of my favorite.

1168
00:40:52,105 --> 00:40:53,945
I think one of your favorites we've got

1169
00:40:53,945 --> 00:40:55,625
a list here. We could go down. I

1170
00:40:55,625 --> 00:40:56,824
don't I don't know how I would ever

1171
00:40:56,824 --> 00:40:58,905
pick, like, the favorite. But I think one

1172
00:40:58,905 --> 00:41:00,844
of your favorites is when we

1173
00:41:01,704 --> 00:41:03,065
maybe not the first time because I think

1174
00:41:03,065 --> 00:41:04,344
there might have been nerves, but maybe the

1175
00:41:04,344 --> 00:41:06,300
first time when we started playing publicly in

1176
00:41:07,099 --> 00:41:08,160
dungeons. Mhmm.

1177
00:41:08,780 --> 00:41:10,460
Because now I feed off of that as

1178
00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:11,119
an exhibitionist,

1179
00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:12,320
and I think

1180
00:41:12,780 --> 00:41:14,000
you I've noticed,

1181
00:41:14,860 --> 00:41:16,940
in my opinion, if you were gonna go

1182
00:41:16,940 --> 00:41:18,965
into Dom space, that is when it would

1183
00:41:18,965 --> 00:41:21,125
happen. It doesn't usually happen at home. True.

1184
00:41:21,125 --> 00:41:22,724
I mean, we can, like, get intense if

1185
00:41:22,724 --> 00:41:24,485
we want, but Oh, yeah. It was it's

1186
00:41:24,485 --> 00:41:27,065
the public play. True. Mhmm. Mhmm.

1187
00:41:28,164 --> 00:41:28,664
Yeah.

1188
00:41:29,765 --> 00:41:30,265
Okay.

1189
00:41:30,804 --> 00:41:32,609
Those are all of the questions. If you

1190
00:41:32,609 --> 00:41:34,289
would like to do these questions with your

1191
00:41:34,289 --> 00:41:35,829
significant other or others,

1192
00:41:37,409 --> 00:41:39,409
in podcast show notes on Friday, all of

1193
00:41:39,409 --> 00:41:40,929
the questions will be there, but you can

1194
00:41:40,929 --> 00:41:43,889
just follow the link to Therapy Jeff's Instagram

1195
00:41:43,889 --> 00:41:44,389
reel.

1196
00:41:44,769 --> 00:41:47,375
He helpfully put the questions in the caption.

1197
00:41:47,914 --> 00:41:49,835
And I appreciated that when I did the

1198
00:41:49,835 --> 00:41:50,735
copy paste

1199
00:41:51,114 --> 00:41:52,655
for the notes for this one.

1200
00:41:54,954 --> 00:41:56,255
So those are the questions.

1201
00:41:56,954 --> 00:41:58,015
Also reminder,

1202
00:41:58,369 --> 00:42:00,630
go check out the cankery, the cankery.com.

1203
00:42:01,010 --> 00:42:02,530
You don't have to stroke my ego, but

1204
00:42:02,530 --> 00:42:04,449
if something's broken, you should tell me. Please

1205
00:42:04,449 --> 00:42:05,269
and thank you.

1206
00:42:06,130 --> 00:42:08,449
And, also, if you or somebody you care

1207
00:42:08,449 --> 00:42:10,690
about is looking for an organization that can

1208
00:42:10,690 --> 00:42:11,349
help them,

1209
00:42:12,130 --> 00:42:14,474
with any part of their transition, gender bands.

1210
00:42:14,474 --> 00:42:16,394
If you got some extra cash, you wanna,

1211
00:42:16,394 --> 00:42:16,894
like,

1212
00:42:17,594 --> 00:42:19,934
help an organization that helps people,

1213
00:42:20,474 --> 00:42:22,954
especially in the current climate where, oh my

1214
00:42:22,954 --> 00:42:24,974
god, nothing is safe, clearly.

1215
00:42:25,835 --> 00:42:28,489
Gender bands would would love a donation. I

1216
00:42:30,469 --> 00:42:31,989
have some thoughts about doing some fundraisers in

1217
00:42:31,989 --> 00:42:33,750
November. I gotta formulate them and we gotta

1218
00:42:33,750 --> 00:42:35,190
talk about them. But Sure. I think gender

1219
00:42:35,190 --> 00:42:37,670
bands would be one of Good. Yeah. Yeah.

1220
00:42:37,670 --> 00:42:38,570
Yeah. Mhmm.

1221
00:42:39,349 --> 00:42:41,030
So, yeah, that is us. And we can

1222
00:42:41,030 --> 00:42:42,755
do a bonus section. Okay. So,

1223
00:42:43,235 --> 00:42:44,994
are we good? I don't know. I don't

1224
00:42:44,994 --> 00:42:45,494
know.

1225
00:42:47,074 --> 00:42:48,755
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1226
00:42:48,755 --> 00:42:49,574
next week.

1227
00:42:58,599 --> 00:43:00,599
Dad, hey. Yeah. Can we talk with the

1228
00:43:00,599 --> 00:43:03,160
crickets, please? Of course. Can I can I

1229
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,000
have permission to just complain about how tired

1230
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:05,660
I am?

1231
00:43:06,199 --> 00:43:08,599
It's a good tired, but it is a

1232
00:43:08,599 --> 00:43:09,500
mind numbing

1233
00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,985
tired. That's true. That's true.

1234
00:43:12,785 --> 00:43:13,845
That's very true.

1235
00:43:15,664 --> 00:43:17,825
So Kingery website already said you did a

1236
00:43:17,825 --> 00:43:18,644
different job.

1237
00:43:19,105 --> 00:43:20,885
We had a thank you.

1238
00:43:21,265 --> 00:43:22,565
We were having a conversation,

1239
00:43:22,945 --> 00:43:24,704
over the weekend when I knew we were,

1240
00:43:24,704 --> 00:43:26,385
like we had planned that this is the

1241
00:43:26,385 --> 00:43:27,989
day we would close down so I could

1242
00:43:27,989 --> 00:43:29,349
do some things and I wouldn't do with

1243
00:43:29,349 --> 00:43:30,090
a live sign.

1244
00:43:30,469 --> 00:43:31,989
And we were now on a timeline and

1245
00:43:31,989 --> 00:43:32,489
whatever.

1246
00:43:33,030 --> 00:43:34,090
I'm trying to explain

1247
00:43:34,390 --> 00:43:36,010
to JB my neuroses

1248
00:43:36,469 --> 00:43:38,570
about these things. And I said,

1249
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:41,369
look, I need you to understand that typically

1250
00:43:41,429 --> 00:43:43,605
the way I operate when I take on

1251
00:43:43,605 --> 00:43:44,265
a project

1252
00:43:45,045 --> 00:43:46,565
is I try to be very thorough because

1253
00:43:46,565 --> 00:43:47,844
I like to be thorough. I don't like

1254
00:43:47,844 --> 00:43:49,605
to have to go back and do double

1255
00:43:49,605 --> 00:43:51,364
work or undo to read. I I hate

1256
00:43:51,364 --> 00:43:53,684
that. Like, that lack of efficiency, there's something

1257
00:43:53,684 --> 00:43:54,744
about it that just

1258
00:43:55,579 --> 00:43:57,920
makes me very irrationally angry.

1259
00:43:58,699 --> 00:43:59,519
But also,

1260
00:44:00,380 --> 00:44:01,199
what I am

1261
00:44:02,380 --> 00:44:05,099
trying I'm endeavoring to do is for it

1262
00:44:05,099 --> 00:44:06,699
to be perfect. Now why does it have

1263
00:44:06,699 --> 00:44:09,179
to be perfect when nothing perfection doesn't exist.

1264
00:44:09,179 --> 00:44:11,625
Nothing can be perfect. It is because if

1265
00:44:11,625 --> 00:44:13,704
that site had gone live and something had

1266
00:44:13,704 --> 00:44:15,864
gone wrong because I just didn't have any

1267
00:44:15,864 --> 00:44:16,364
information

1268
00:44:16,664 --> 00:44:18,525
or a a human mistake

1269
00:44:18,985 --> 00:44:19,805
was made,

1270
00:44:21,305 --> 00:44:22,744
I would feel like a failure that I

1271
00:44:22,744 --> 00:44:23,724
did not foresee

1272
00:44:24,025 --> 00:44:25,980
all the things I couldn't have known about.

1273
00:44:25,980 --> 00:44:27,820
And he's looking at me like, bitch, you

1274
00:44:27,820 --> 00:44:30,139
are so crazy. I'm like, I know. I

1275
00:44:30,139 --> 00:44:30,639
know.

1276
00:44:31,659 --> 00:44:34,539
So something about saying that out loud did

1277
00:44:34,539 --> 00:44:35,760
help. So

1278
00:44:38,539 --> 00:44:39,039
I

1279
00:44:39,735 --> 00:44:41,335
went when I hit the button and the

1280
00:44:41,335 --> 00:44:43,494
site goes live and I'm like, oh shit.

1281
00:44:43,494 --> 00:44:43,994
Right?

1282
00:44:44,855 --> 00:44:48,155
I was on edge, but I was fine.

1283
00:44:48,295 --> 00:44:49,835
But it's because the

1284
00:44:50,295 --> 00:44:51,755
hour and a half prior,

1285
00:44:52,219 --> 00:44:54,059
even though small things were missed and they

1286
00:44:54,059 --> 00:44:56,139
were easily corrected, they were nothing was like

1287
00:44:56,139 --> 00:44:57,819
life altering. It was just a small little

1288
00:44:57,819 --> 00:45:00,859
thing. The major stuff, I was quadruple I

1289
00:45:00,859 --> 00:45:02,460
would check and go, but did I really

1290
00:45:02,460 --> 00:45:03,260
check? And then I would

1291
00:45:04,784 --> 00:45:06,784
I have been diagnosed with OCD in the

1292
00:45:06,784 --> 00:45:08,464
past, and I was like, is this OCD

1293
00:45:08,464 --> 00:45:10,545
or is this just being thorough? I can't

1294
00:45:10,545 --> 00:45:12,224
always tell. I could I'd like a medical

1295
00:45:12,224 --> 00:45:13,664
professional to tell me. You know, I mean,

1296
00:45:13,664 --> 00:45:16,829
woodworkers have the saying, measure twice Cut once.

1297
00:45:16,910 --> 00:45:18,910
And I'm the oh, we'll measure five times.

1298
00:45:18,910 --> 00:45:20,590
Just to be safe. If you do an

1299
00:45:20,590 --> 00:45:22,050
extra extra times,

1300
00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:24,989
you can't possibly be human and make a

1301
00:45:24,989 --> 00:45:25,489
mistake.

1302
00:45:27,710 --> 00:45:28,849
The other thing

1303
00:45:29,469 --> 00:45:31,630
I mean, I guess, you know, as we

1304
00:45:31,630 --> 00:45:32,369
get older,

1305
00:45:33,835 --> 00:45:35,934
wisdom maybe. I don't know if it's wisdom,

1306
00:45:36,555 --> 00:45:39,114
but it's definitely even more self awareness. I

1307
00:45:39,114 --> 00:45:40,974
said to JB, I said, look.

1308
00:45:41,914 --> 00:45:43,994
I have a really bad way of doing

1309
00:45:43,994 --> 00:45:46,859
things where I do not celebrate accomplishments. I

1310
00:45:46,859 --> 00:45:48,619
finish a thing. I I finish a goal.

1311
00:45:48,619 --> 00:45:50,460
I finish a project. I put it out

1312
00:45:50,460 --> 00:45:51,579
in the world or I make it known

1313
00:45:51,579 --> 00:45:53,260
to the person or whatever it is. Right?

1314
00:45:53,260 --> 00:45:54,699
I do the thing and it's a big

1315
00:45:54,699 --> 00:45:56,619
thing. It's made me tired. It took a

1316
00:45:56,619 --> 00:45:59,025
lot of time and resources and focus. Blah

1317
00:45:59,025 --> 00:46:00,944
blah blah blah. I said, I don't know

1318
00:46:00,944 --> 00:46:02,864
how to celebrate that. And what I tend

1319
00:46:02,864 --> 00:46:04,565
to do is go, yep, got that done,

1320
00:46:04,704 --> 00:46:06,545
and move to the next project. I said,

1321
00:46:06,545 --> 00:46:08,464
but I don't want to immediately move to

1322
00:46:08,464 --> 00:46:10,385
the next project. Do I have multiple projects

1323
00:46:10,385 --> 00:46:10,860
waiting for

1324
00:46:11,579 --> 00:46:12,720
Yes. I do. I was like, I

1325
00:46:13,180 --> 00:46:14,559
would like to just rest

1326
00:46:15,180 --> 00:46:16,860
and just, like, take a have a few

1327
00:46:16,860 --> 00:46:18,720
days where I'm not working

1328
00:46:19,579 --> 00:46:21,900
fourteen to sixteen hours. I was like, can

1329
00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:23,200
you help me with that?

1330
00:46:23,739 --> 00:46:25,420
He was like, yeah. Don't you worry. I

1331
00:46:25,420 --> 00:46:27,514
got you. I was like, okay. Good.

1332
00:46:28,054 --> 00:46:28,954
I'm so grateful.

1333
00:46:31,175 --> 00:46:33,175
So yeah. When I was like, I don't

1334
00:46:33,175 --> 00:46:34,375
have it in me to cook the meal

1335
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:36,454
that I was supposed to cook. I don't

1336
00:46:36,454 --> 00:46:37,514
know why I thought

1337
00:46:37,829 --> 00:46:40,150
that that the day of publishing the fucking

1338
00:46:40,150 --> 00:46:41,349
website was gonna be a day I would

1339
00:46:41,349 --> 00:46:43,050
have the bandwidth to, like, make dinner.

1340
00:46:43,510 --> 00:46:44,789
I don't I don't know where that came

1341
00:46:44,789 --> 00:46:45,269
from.

1342
00:46:46,869 --> 00:46:48,550
But, yeah, you were real quick to go

1343
00:46:48,550 --> 00:46:50,710
here. We navigated that quickly. Yeah. You were

1344
00:46:50,710 --> 00:46:52,545
real quick to go, here's your Diet Coke.

1345
00:46:52,625 --> 00:46:54,625
It was massive, and I slurped it the

1346
00:46:54,625 --> 00:46:56,224
fuck down. And he was like and then

1347
00:46:56,224 --> 00:46:58,484
you were like, yep. Let's go get McDonald's.

1348
00:46:58,545 --> 00:47:00,324
I was like, that sounds lovely.

1349
00:47:01,744 --> 00:47:03,525
So and now I'm just,

1350
00:47:04,657 --> 00:47:05,730
taking the rest of the week and the

1351
00:47:05,730 --> 00:47:06,630
weekend to just

1352
00:47:07,010 --> 00:47:08,530
do what needs to be done, but not

1353
00:47:08,530 --> 00:47:12,210
anything extra, which is why, I told, livestream

1354
00:47:12,210 --> 00:47:14,050
folks this, but for everybody else, there's not

1355
00:47:14,130 --> 00:47:15,650
we're supposed to start back with our Monday

1356
00:47:15,650 --> 00:47:17,110
episodes now that we're

1357
00:47:17,505 --> 00:47:18,644
out of our summertime

1358
00:47:18,944 --> 00:47:19,924
livestream schedule.

1359
00:47:20,944 --> 00:47:22,784
And this week, I just was like, I

1360
00:47:23,184 --> 00:47:25,505
nope. I cannot do it. Let us do

1361
00:47:25,505 --> 00:47:26,644
it next week. And

1362
00:47:27,744 --> 00:47:28,644
so we'll have,

1363
00:47:29,824 --> 00:47:30,324
Monday,

1364
00:47:30,704 --> 00:47:32,699
short episodes coming back out

1365
00:47:33,900 --> 00:47:35,339
in the October

1366
00:47:35,339 --> 00:47:37,420
because that is that is what I can

1367
00:47:37,420 --> 00:47:37,920
do.

1368
00:47:39,420 --> 00:47:40,639
So Yeah.

1369
00:47:41,179 --> 00:47:42,619
Yeah. I kinda don't know what to do

1370
00:47:42,619 --> 00:47:44,539
with myself because I don't have a big

1371
00:47:44,539 --> 00:47:46,859
long I've got small things I'm working on

1372
00:47:46,859 --> 00:47:49,445
on the site, but, you know, a couple

1373
00:47:49,445 --> 00:47:50,985
of little things that came up.

1374
00:47:52,164 --> 00:47:54,085
I got DMs of, oh, this thing that's

1375
00:47:54,085 --> 00:47:55,605
supposed to have information, it's blank. I was

1376
00:47:55,605 --> 00:47:56,724
like, oh, thank you. You know, I added

1377
00:47:56,724 --> 00:47:58,724
it to my list. And then somebody commented

1378
00:47:58,724 --> 00:48:00,565
on the Discord. They're like, why does some

1379
00:48:00,565 --> 00:48:02,579
of the paddles say they're $0?

1380
00:48:02,579 --> 00:48:03,079
And

1381
00:48:03,460 --> 00:48:03,960
we're

1382
00:48:04,340 --> 00:48:05,320
at the curbside

1383
00:48:05,860 --> 00:48:06,360
pickup

1384
00:48:07,140 --> 00:48:09,219
for McDonald's, and I had not yet put

1385
00:48:09,219 --> 00:48:11,400
the Shopify app on my phone.

1386
00:48:12,099 --> 00:48:13,079
And I was like,

1387
00:48:13,700 --> 00:48:15,844
are we giving away paddles? No. No. It

1388
00:48:15,844 --> 00:48:17,844
was a little glitchy thing in the back.

1389
00:48:17,844 --> 00:48:19,464
We were not giving away free paddles.

1390
00:48:19,844 --> 00:48:21,784
It was just not showing the correct price.

1391
00:48:22,085 --> 00:48:23,605
But I did have like, I didn't eat

1392
00:48:23,605 --> 00:48:25,605
my dinner. I put I divvied out everybody's

1393
00:48:25,605 --> 00:48:27,204
dinner when we got home with it. I

1394
00:48:27,204 --> 00:48:29,089
put my dinner down and tried to keep

1395
00:48:29,089 --> 00:48:30,650
it all wrapped up so maybe the fries

1396
00:48:30,650 --> 00:48:32,650
would not be, ugh, gross cold. And immediately

1397
00:48:32,650 --> 00:48:33,769
came back here and was like, are we

1398
00:48:33,769 --> 00:48:35,690
giving away free paddles? We were not giving

1399
00:48:35,690 --> 00:48:37,369
away free paddles, but I did fix it

1400
00:48:37,369 --> 00:48:39,449
before I let myself eat. And it was

1401
00:48:39,449 --> 00:48:40,730
a quick easy fix. It was a quick

1402
00:48:40,730 --> 00:48:42,650
easy fix. Very quick easy fix. It was

1403
00:48:42,650 --> 00:48:43,934
a a learning curve

1404
00:48:44,574 --> 00:48:45,695
of the difference between the old system we

1405
00:48:45,695 --> 00:48:46,755
used, which was WooCommerce,

1406
00:48:47,135 --> 00:48:47,954
and Shopify.

1407
00:48:48,574 --> 00:48:49,474
Yeah. So

1408
00:48:50,094 --> 00:48:52,574
I mean, currently, knock on wood, I'm absolutely

1409
00:48:52,574 --> 00:48:53,635
in love with Shopify.

1410
00:48:54,015 --> 00:48:56,035
Good. Absolutely in love.

1411
00:48:56,699 --> 00:48:58,639
But After three months of migration.

1412
00:49:00,059 --> 00:49:02,380
Yeah. Some of that was procrastination. I know.

1413
00:49:02,380 --> 00:49:04,539
I spent an ungodly amount of time going,

1414
00:49:04,539 --> 00:49:06,380
I would like this one page to look

1415
00:49:06,380 --> 00:49:07,599
exactly perfect

1416
00:49:07,980 --> 00:49:09,679
before I can do anything else.

1417
00:49:11,579 --> 00:49:14,405
Because, you know, I'm a goal oriented person.

1418
00:49:14,405 --> 00:49:16,905
I like Excuse me. To do big things,

1419
00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:20,005
but I don't I I get so weird

1420
00:49:20,005 --> 00:49:21,765
about, oh, the big thing I'm doing is

1421
00:49:21,765 --> 00:49:23,304
going to be seen by others.

1422
00:49:23,684 --> 00:49:25,364
What does it say about me if it's

1423
00:49:25,364 --> 00:49:26,184
not perfect?

1424
00:49:26,485 --> 00:49:28,359
Mhmm. I know there's no such thing as

1425
00:49:28,359 --> 00:49:29,500
perfect. I understand.

1426
00:49:31,159 --> 00:49:33,639
So yeah. So yeah. I could I spent

1427
00:49:33,639 --> 00:49:35,880
a week on one page at some point

1428
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:37,260
in the three months.

1429
00:49:38,679 --> 00:49:40,434
And yet, I did all that. And then

1430
00:49:40,434 --> 00:49:42,295
towards the end when I like, we had

1431
00:49:42,295 --> 00:49:44,155
products in and I was,

1432
00:49:45,575 --> 00:49:47,494
finalizing things, and I was like, okay. This

1433
00:49:47,494 --> 00:49:48,775
is gonna this is what it's gonna look

1434
00:49:48,775 --> 00:49:50,614
like real world. That's a real product that,

1435
00:49:50,614 --> 00:49:52,454
you know, you could purchase now if I

1436
00:49:52,454 --> 00:49:54,449
had it turned on. Right? And I was

1437
00:49:54,530 --> 00:49:56,309
all that time I spent perfecting

1438
00:49:56,849 --> 00:49:57,829
the look of it

1439
00:49:58,130 --> 00:50:00,050
for expedience when it didn't work or something.

1440
00:50:00,050 --> 00:50:01,250
I was like, nope. We just take that

1441
00:50:01,250 --> 00:50:03,250
shit out. Nope. We just rework it. I

1442
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:04,469
was like, goddamn.

1443
00:50:05,730 --> 00:50:06,869
So Yeah.

1444
00:50:07,329 --> 00:50:09,119
Yeah. But yeah.

1445
00:50:10,484 --> 00:50:10,964
So I'm,

1446
00:50:11,924 --> 00:50:14,164
I think you are my next project and

1447
00:50:14,164 --> 00:50:16,264
your Etsy shop. Uh-huh. Mhmm.

1448
00:50:17,045 --> 00:50:19,324
Yeah. I've been doing a lot with that

1449
00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:22,085
Mhmm. Lately. And and I don't know why.

1450
00:50:22,085 --> 00:50:23,789
For some reason, it just kind of,

1451
00:50:24,269 --> 00:50:26,349
bubbled up that I need to pay more

1452
00:50:26,349 --> 00:50:27,410
attention to it.

1453
00:50:28,110 --> 00:50:30,670
Yeah. I I do think you were getting

1454
00:50:30,670 --> 00:50:32,030
close if you're not there, I hope you're

1455
00:50:32,030 --> 00:50:33,890
not there, of burnout with the kinkery

1456
00:50:34,510 --> 00:50:36,735
because, I mean, our whole life is just

1457
00:50:36,815 --> 00:50:39,934
about restocks. We can't keep we don't at

1458
00:50:39,934 --> 00:50:41,235
no point in

1459
00:50:41,775 --> 00:50:43,695
most of a full calendar year will we

1460
00:50:43,695 --> 00:50:44,195
have

1461
00:50:44,575 --> 00:50:47,135
something in stock for every product we have.

1462
00:50:47,135 --> 00:50:48,655
I know. There were all there are always

1463
00:50:48,655 --> 00:50:50,880
restocks. And, you know, we're talking about how

1464
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:52,159
we wanna move forward with some of that.

1465
00:50:52,159 --> 00:50:53,679
And if there's some changes we wanna make,

1466
00:50:53,679 --> 00:50:56,239
that's a next year problem. Mhmm. But I

1467
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:58,339
think that you getting the

1468
00:50:59,199 --> 00:51:01,119
the creative ideas of what you wanted to

1469
00:51:01,119 --> 00:51:02,239
make that weren't kinky

1470
00:51:02,639 --> 00:51:04,159
Mhmm. And then how you wanted that to

1471
00:51:04,159 --> 00:51:06,195
tie into your Etsy shop. I I think

1472
00:51:06,195 --> 00:51:07,795
it was your brain going, I get me

1473
00:51:07,795 --> 00:51:09,715
off this fucking hamster wheel. I gotta do

1474
00:51:09,715 --> 00:51:11,735
something different. I need another outlet.

1475
00:51:12,114 --> 00:51:13,795
It it's been it's it's been,

1476
00:51:15,315 --> 00:51:17,954
kinda good, you know. I've I've been I

1477
00:51:17,954 --> 00:51:18,595
made all the,

1478
00:51:19,690 --> 00:51:22,570
Halloween Mhmm. Ornaments that showed off. Then you

1479
00:51:22,570 --> 00:51:24,410
made me a new display thing, right, as

1480
00:51:24,410 --> 00:51:26,170
I was making a website. I was like,

1481
00:51:26,170 --> 00:51:28,090
I can retake the pictures with this really

1482
00:51:28,090 --> 00:51:30,410
cool display thing. But I was making a

1483
00:51:30,410 --> 00:51:32,190
website, so I haven't had chance.

1484
00:51:32,594 --> 00:51:34,275
That's gonna be really cool. You should I

1485
00:51:34,275 --> 00:51:36,454
mean, podcast listeners, I'm sorry. You cannot

1486
00:51:36,835 --> 00:51:37,574
see this.

1487
00:51:38,195 --> 00:51:39,954
We'll try to describe it. And if you

1488
00:51:39,954 --> 00:51:42,114
come to the bonus sections part of the

1489
00:51:42,114 --> 00:51:44,275
YouTube video, you can see it. It's this

1490
00:51:44,275 --> 00:51:45,655
little wooden, like

1491
00:51:46,349 --> 00:51:48,450
oval kinda shaped platform with

1492
00:51:48,989 --> 00:51:50,989
it's not a wire. What what is that

1493
00:51:50,989 --> 00:51:53,150
piece of metal? It's a bent piece of

1494
00:51:53,470 --> 00:51:54,769
It's a welding rod.

1495
00:51:55,150 --> 00:51:58,030
It's a welding rod. Arced out. And so

1496
00:51:58,030 --> 00:51:59,950
then ornaments that I have put a little

1497
00:51:59,950 --> 00:52:01,954
string or a little ribbon on, I can

1498
00:52:01,954 --> 00:52:03,474
hang and I can take a picture of

1499
00:52:03,474 --> 00:52:05,795
the damn thing hanging. Because my angles were

1500
00:52:05,795 --> 00:52:08,375
all wrong on trying to take them. And,

1501
00:52:09,315 --> 00:52:09,815
yeah.

1502
00:52:10,275 --> 00:52:11,255
You're so creative.

1503
00:52:11,875 --> 00:52:13,954
Now here's what I loved about that. Now

1504
00:52:13,954 --> 00:52:15,715
I know, yes, technically it was to your

1505
00:52:15,715 --> 00:52:18,109
benefit because better pictures on your Yeah.

1506
00:52:18,569 --> 00:52:20,489
But all I said was I was looking

1507
00:52:20,489 --> 00:52:21,230
through Michael's

1508
00:52:21,849 --> 00:52:23,769
website, michael's.com. I was like, I need to

1509
00:52:23,769 --> 00:52:26,089
find a display something that is makes it

1510
00:52:26,089 --> 00:52:28,730
easier to take pictures of orbments. That's all

1511
00:52:28,730 --> 00:52:30,329
I said. I didn't find anything. I closed

1512
00:52:30,329 --> 00:52:32,275
the site. I was like, we'll keep doing

1513
00:52:32,275 --> 00:52:33,735
what we do. It'll be fine.

1514
00:52:34,755 --> 00:52:36,534
Two days later? Yeah.

1515
00:52:36,914 --> 00:52:39,394
JB walked now I am knee deep in

1516
00:52:39,394 --> 00:52:42,114
doing something not his Etsy shop. And he

1517
00:52:42,114 --> 00:52:44,275
walks in with the little hangy thing, the

1518
00:52:44,275 --> 00:52:46,755
little display thing for ornaments. I was like,

1519
00:52:46,755 --> 00:52:48,109
oh, oh my gosh.

1520
00:52:48,650 --> 00:52:50,650
I just said I needed a thing and

1521
00:52:50,650 --> 00:52:51,789
then it was provided.

1522
00:52:53,369 --> 00:52:53,869
What?

1523
00:52:55,609 --> 00:52:57,309
I'm the luckiest girl ever.

1524
00:52:58,650 --> 00:53:00,329
Mhmm. So, yeah. I've been I've been doing

1525
00:53:00,329 --> 00:53:00,829
that.

1526
00:53:01,434 --> 00:53:03,275
Mhmm. I've been, you know, with the

1527
00:53:04,635 --> 00:53:06,574
I've been working on Christmas ornaments.

1528
00:53:06,875 --> 00:53:07,375
Mhmm.

1529
00:53:08,795 --> 00:53:09,114
And,

1530
00:53:10,234 --> 00:53:12,074
yeah, I've I've just enjoyed it. Matter of

1531
00:53:12,074 --> 00:53:13,835
fact, I've been enjoying it so much. I've

1532
00:53:13,835 --> 00:53:15,295
even started recording.

1533
00:53:16,779 --> 00:53:18,859
You're uploading videos to your YouTube channel. I'm

1534
00:53:18,859 --> 00:53:21,179
uploading videos to the YouTube channel. The Wood

1535
00:53:21,179 --> 00:53:22,559
Dom on YouTube. Mhmm.

1536
00:53:23,579 --> 00:53:23,980
And,

1537
00:53:24,380 --> 00:53:24,880
yeah.

1538
00:53:25,500 --> 00:53:27,179
I mean, I've been kinda doing a lot

1539
00:53:27,179 --> 00:53:28,460
of stuff. It's like you got a little

1540
00:53:28,460 --> 00:53:29,900
bit of a creative or not a little

1541
00:53:29,900 --> 00:53:32,264
bit of, but a different creative spark Mhmm.

1542
00:53:32,344 --> 00:53:33,724
Going. I like it.

1543
00:53:34,105 --> 00:53:36,744
You're much calmer when you're using your outlets

1544
00:53:36,744 --> 00:53:37,565
like that. Yeah.

1545
00:53:38,425 --> 00:53:38,824
And,

1546
00:53:39,385 --> 00:53:41,625
we've been doing some small things around the

1547
00:53:41,625 --> 00:53:42,445
house. I,

1548
00:53:42,905 --> 00:53:44,525
couple weeks ago, started rescreening.

1549
00:53:45,224 --> 00:53:45,724
Yes.

1550
00:53:46,730 --> 00:53:50,409
Our, screens were in rough shape. Partly because,

1551
00:53:50,650 --> 00:53:52,170
who knows when they've been changed before we

1552
00:53:52,170 --> 00:53:54,409
bought the place. But also, when the weather

1553
00:53:54,409 --> 00:53:56,809
cools off, we open our windows. Right. Our

1554
00:53:56,809 --> 00:53:57,869
cats love it.

1555
00:53:58,170 --> 00:54:00,190
They also love to put their claws

1556
00:54:00,554 --> 00:54:02,474
through the screen. Yeah. So one of the

1557
00:54:02,474 --> 00:54:04,155
one of the things I've I've done in

1558
00:54:04,155 --> 00:54:06,875
doing this, I've gotten the, heavy duty Mhmm.

1559
00:54:06,954 --> 00:54:07,675
Screen for,

1560
00:54:08,155 --> 00:54:09,994
for pets. Yep. You are

1561
00:54:10,635 --> 00:54:12,394
who knows if we will continue to be

1562
00:54:12,394 --> 00:54:14,074
motivated like this when this project's done, but

1563
00:54:14,074 --> 00:54:16,089
we were having a conversation today about, like,

1564
00:54:16,089 --> 00:54:17,369
you know, let's do little things around the

1565
00:54:17,369 --> 00:54:18,809
house. And I was like, look at us

1566
00:54:18,809 --> 00:54:21,769
being motivated again. Yeah. You know, it doesn't

1567
00:54:21,929 --> 00:54:23,530
it never happens, like, all at once, and

1568
00:54:23,530 --> 00:54:25,690
it doesn't happen consistently, but I can tell

1569
00:54:25,690 --> 00:54:27,630
that we are in better head spaces

1570
00:54:28,025 --> 00:54:28,425
together

1571
00:54:28,825 --> 00:54:29,224
Mhmm.

1572
00:54:29,864 --> 00:54:31,545
When I look back and go, oh my

1573
00:54:31,545 --> 00:54:33,305
god. That's right. We didn't have the mental

1574
00:54:33,305 --> 00:54:34,925
or physical energy to do

1575
00:54:35,224 --> 00:54:36,364
very simple things

1576
00:54:36,664 --> 00:54:37,485
Right. For

1577
00:54:37,945 --> 00:54:40,190
way too long. Yeah. I mean, and that

1578
00:54:40,230 --> 00:54:42,150
yeah. I know you do this too because

1579
00:54:42,150 --> 00:54:43,829
I know how you are. There's that knee

1580
00:54:43,829 --> 00:54:45,670
jerk reaction to feel guilty about it, but

1581
00:54:45,670 --> 00:54:47,190
I'm more like, but look at us go

1582
00:54:47,190 --> 00:54:49,909
now. We Yeah. There was there were things

1583
00:54:49,909 --> 00:54:53,050
preventing us both within and without,

1584
00:54:54,184 --> 00:54:56,184
and they're not now. And so instead of

1585
00:54:56,184 --> 00:54:57,945
being like, oh, that sucks that we didn't

1586
00:54:57,945 --> 00:54:58,985
do it for all that time, I'm gonna

1587
00:54:58,985 --> 00:55:00,184
just be like, hell yeah, but look at

1588
00:55:00,184 --> 00:55:01,945
us doing it now. Right. You know, it's

1589
00:55:01,945 --> 00:55:03,465
like, you know, I was talking about when

1590
00:55:03,465 --> 00:55:04,764
I finish with the screens,

1591
00:55:06,570 --> 00:55:07,070
downspouts

1592
00:55:07,769 --> 00:55:11,070
Yeah. Are looking really, really rough. And we

1593
00:55:11,849 --> 00:55:13,369
we are still planning on painting our front

1594
00:55:13,369 --> 00:55:14,489
door. I think we talked about that last

1595
00:55:14,489 --> 00:55:16,410
week or week before. We are a little

1596
00:55:16,410 --> 00:55:17,630
bit at an impasse

1597
00:55:18,170 --> 00:55:18,989
with the colors.

1598
00:55:19,585 --> 00:55:21,985
Yeah. I the paint chips we got because

1599
00:55:21,985 --> 00:55:23,585
there's different kinds of paint chips. Sometimes they're

1600
00:55:23,585 --> 00:55:26,244
just a single solid color. Uh-uh. This is,

1601
00:55:27,184 --> 00:55:28,164
is it the Valspar

1602
00:55:28,625 --> 00:55:31,684
paint at Lowe's? It's it's got three colors.

1603
00:55:31,744 --> 00:55:33,105
Right? And they're all, like, in the same

1604
00:55:33,105 --> 00:55:33,605
family.

1605
00:55:35,239 --> 00:55:36,299
And I pulled several.

1606
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,659
I like the deepest darkest colors.

1607
00:55:40,519 --> 00:55:43,339
JB likes the lighter colors. I think the,

1608
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,179
compromise will be the middle center color.

1609
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,400
Mhmm. Because I'm like, no. No. No. I

1610
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,994
want our the the color of our front

1611
00:55:51,994 --> 00:55:54,315
door to pop so much. You can't miss

1612
00:55:54,315 --> 00:55:56,075
it when you're just driving by. I want

1613
00:55:56,075 --> 00:55:58,315
it bold. I don't want anything else about

1614
00:55:58,315 --> 00:55:59,914
our house to be bold. I want the

1615
00:55:59,914 --> 00:56:01,434
door I don't know why. I want the

1616
00:56:01,434 --> 00:56:04,555
door to be bold. Yeah. So, yeah, we

1617
00:56:04,555 --> 00:56:06,235
have not moved forward with that because we

1618
00:56:06,235 --> 00:56:07,699
are we are a little bit out of

1619
00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:08,599
stalemate on

1620
00:56:09,219 --> 00:56:10,739
it. What shade is what color? I was

1621
00:56:10,739 --> 00:56:11,940
actually thinking though I could,

1622
00:56:14,099 --> 00:56:17,219
regardless of what we decide on color, I

1623
00:56:17,219 --> 00:56:19,954
can move ahead and clean Yeah. The door

1624
00:56:19,954 --> 00:56:21,894
and Prime it. Prime it. Yeah.

1625
00:56:23,315 --> 00:56:23,974
Mhmm. Mhmm.

1626
00:56:24,594 --> 00:56:25,094
Yep.

1627
00:56:25,635 --> 00:56:27,635
Look at us doing home projects again. I

1628
00:56:27,635 --> 00:56:28,135
know.

1629
00:56:31,719 --> 00:56:34,059
Yep. It's been good. It's been nice to,

1630
00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:36,619
to, you know, get some of this done.

1631
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,239
Somebody woke up from her nap and just

1632
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,519
lumbering over. Mhmm. She's a little bleary eyed.

1633
00:56:42,519 --> 00:56:43,260
Big stretch.

1634
00:56:43,559 --> 00:56:44,300
Oh, yeah.

1635
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,094
You have to acknowledge the big stretch Yep.

1636
00:56:47,175 --> 00:56:49,094
When the big stretch occurs. And followed by

1637
00:56:49,094 --> 00:56:49,914
the big yawn.

1638
00:56:50,695 --> 00:56:52,295
Is she on her back with her belly

1639
00:56:52,295 --> 00:56:54,315
up waiting to be loved? No.

1640
00:56:54,695 --> 00:56:56,394
She's not quite awake yet. Right.

1641
00:56:57,894 --> 00:57:01,035
Right. You know, I'm no. Not Onyx because

1642
00:57:01,094 --> 00:57:03,789
Onyx is probably a cat that could do

1643
00:57:03,789 --> 00:57:06,750
with, like, whatever the cat version of, like,

1644
00:57:06,750 --> 00:57:09,489
Lexapro is or or Prozac. Right? Like,

1645
00:57:10,109 --> 00:57:11,710
Onyx could be on meds. And I know

1646
00:57:11,710 --> 00:57:12,849
that there are antianxiety

1647
00:57:13,630 --> 00:57:16,005
meds for for pets. I know that. But

1648
00:57:16,005 --> 00:57:16,744
the other

1649
00:57:18,085 --> 00:57:19,625
two, Ella and Lola,

1650
00:57:20,005 --> 00:57:20,905
I can tell

1651
00:57:21,684 --> 00:57:24,405
that either our energy is better or they're

1652
00:57:24,405 --> 00:57:27,364
just, like, chilling as they get older or

1653
00:57:27,364 --> 00:57:30,079
what because those two, Lola and Ella, different

1654
00:57:30,079 --> 00:57:32,239
times in different places, spend a hell of

1655
00:57:32,239 --> 00:57:34,579
a lot of time on their back, stomachs

1656
00:57:34,719 --> 00:57:35,219
exposed,

1657
00:57:35,599 --> 00:57:36,099
limbs

1658
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:36,900
splayed,

1659
00:57:37,519 --> 00:57:39,679
like they've got not a care in the

1660
00:57:39,679 --> 00:57:42,739
world. Not our girl, Onyx. No. Onyx is

1661
00:57:43,355 --> 00:57:44,954
a little bit like You're lucky to catch

1662
00:57:44,954 --> 00:57:45,934
her in a loaf.

1663
00:57:46,635 --> 00:57:47,835
Yeah. And you won't catch her in a

1664
00:57:47,835 --> 00:57:49,275
full loaf for long. She'll go in a

1665
00:57:49,275 --> 00:57:50,875
full loaf when she's comfy, but then what

1666
00:57:50,875 --> 00:57:52,635
you did was you walked by just a

1667
00:57:52,635 --> 00:57:54,275
little too fast, a little too hard, or

1668
00:57:54,275 --> 00:57:55,835
a little too aggressively Or you did that.

1669
00:57:55,914 --> 00:57:57,934
Made on. Right? And now she's not comfortable

1670
00:57:57,994 --> 00:58:00,050
to be in the full cat loaf.

1671
00:58:00,590 --> 00:58:01,650
And yeah.

1672
00:58:02,829 --> 00:58:04,849
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm.

1673
00:58:06,510 --> 00:58:09,309
Mhmm. Oh, but, yeah, that's that's been us.

1674
00:58:09,309 --> 00:58:09,809
Mhmm.

1675
00:58:10,349 --> 00:58:10,670
And,

1676
00:58:11,950 --> 00:58:13,730
still kinda waiting for the real

1677
00:58:14,424 --> 00:58:15,244
fall weather.

1678
00:58:15,545 --> 00:58:18,105
It Probably be December before we get it.

1679
00:58:18,105 --> 00:58:20,344
Yeah. It it kinda teased us a little

1680
00:58:20,344 --> 00:58:20,844
bit.

1681
00:58:21,944 --> 00:58:23,484
We had like a week and a half

1682
00:58:23,944 --> 00:58:25,244
of gorgeous weather.

1683
00:58:25,545 --> 00:58:27,625
See, and our definitions of gorgeous are a

1684
00:58:27,625 --> 00:58:30,089
little bit different. Mhmm. You're like anything that's

1685
00:58:30,089 --> 00:58:31,369
not a 100%

1686
00:58:31,369 --> 00:58:34,489
humidity and 95 degrees, anything lower than that,

1687
00:58:34,489 --> 00:58:36,730
great. It's nice. Yeah. And I'm like, do

1688
00:58:36,730 --> 00:58:39,230
not call me until it is 72

1689
00:58:39,929 --> 00:58:41,069
and free of humidity.

1690
00:58:41,369 --> 00:58:42,344
That is my perfect.

1691
00:58:44,984 --> 00:58:46,585
Yeah. Jamie would be like, oh my god.

1692
00:58:46,585 --> 00:58:48,425
It's so amazing. Or you should walk out.

1693
00:58:48,425 --> 00:58:50,105
And I would walk out and break a

1694
00:58:50,105 --> 00:58:52,025
sweat. And I was like, nope. I do

1695
00:58:52,025 --> 00:58:54,025
not find it amazing at all. I'm gonna

1696
00:58:54,025 --> 00:58:55,005
go back inside.

1697
00:58:56,344 --> 00:58:57,085
Oh, gosh.

1698
00:59:00,820 --> 00:59:02,820
So, you know. Yeah. That's how it is

1699
00:59:02,820 --> 00:59:04,519
sometimes. Mhmm. Mhmm.

1700
00:59:06,179 --> 00:59:08,260
Alright. I guess we can be done. Yeah.

1701
00:59:08,260 --> 00:59:09,780
I can't keep my eyes open. I gotta

1702
00:59:09,780 --> 00:59:10,840
go check my gravy.

1703
00:59:11,594 --> 00:59:13,675
Spaghetti sauce. If you're not Italian I've been

1704
00:59:13,675 --> 00:59:14,974
to other cultures

1705
00:59:15,914 --> 00:59:16,414
or

1706
00:59:17,594 --> 00:59:20,474
or call spaghetti sauce or sauce gravy. Because

1707
00:59:20,474 --> 00:59:21,454
see, I'm Southern.

1708
00:59:21,835 --> 00:59:24,074
When you say the word gravy, two things

1709
00:59:24,074 --> 00:59:26,315
come to mind. A brown gravy, a white

1710
00:59:26,315 --> 00:59:28,789
gravy. A white gravy probably with sausage in

1711
00:59:28,789 --> 00:59:31,030
it, but that's different. But I know that

1712
00:59:31,030 --> 00:59:32,710
I know that is like a certainly a

1713
00:59:32,710 --> 00:59:34,469
thing in your family because your mom used

1714
00:59:34,469 --> 00:59:35,750
to call it gravy. And the first time

1715
00:59:35,750 --> 00:59:37,269
I heard it, I was like, oh, we're

1716
00:59:37,269 --> 00:59:38,869
having gravy and rice. And I was like,

1717
00:59:38,869 --> 00:59:41,914
that's a meal? Okay. Look, I'm new. We're

1718
00:59:41,914 --> 00:59:42,735
still dating.

1719
00:59:43,275 --> 00:59:45,434
I'm not rocking the fucking boat, but I

1720
00:59:45,434 --> 00:59:48,315
did have a very specific image in my

1721
00:59:48,315 --> 00:59:48,815
head

1722
00:59:49,114 --> 00:59:50,974
of what was going to be served.

1723
00:59:51,914 --> 00:59:52,414
And

1724
00:59:53,090 --> 00:59:55,750
thankfully, sometimes I do have a poker face,

1725
00:59:56,050 --> 00:59:58,369
and I was just like, oh, you meant

1726
00:59:58,369 --> 01:00:00,369
spaghetti sauce on rice, which I had never

1727
01:00:00,369 --> 01:00:02,550
had spaghetti sauce on rice before. Risotto.

1728
01:00:04,130 --> 01:00:05,190
It wasn't risotto.

1729
01:00:05,704 --> 01:00:08,264
See, I only know risotto like the fancy

1730
01:00:08,264 --> 01:00:11,385
restaurant risotto. See, here's here's what We're never

1731
01:00:11,385 --> 01:00:13,965
leaving. Sorry. We got ourselves on another track.

1732
01:00:14,905 --> 01:00:17,885
My my my great grandmother explained it.

1733
01:00:18,744 --> 01:00:19,565
Each region

1734
01:00:20,579 --> 01:00:22,840
of Italy had their own version.

1735
01:00:23,300 --> 01:00:25,780
Okay. Okay. Okay. And that that's that's why

1736
01:00:25,780 --> 01:00:28,019
you see so much difference. Plus, you know,

1737
01:00:28,019 --> 01:00:29,700
a lot of stuff has been over the

1738
01:00:29,700 --> 01:00:31,719
years now. They've Certainly Americanized.

1739
01:00:32,180 --> 01:00:34,099
Yes. We do that to everything. Yes. Yes.

1740
01:00:34,340 --> 01:00:36,195
And the home cooking is gonna be just

1741
01:00:36,195 --> 01:00:37,494
automatically different from

1742
01:00:38,114 --> 01:00:40,675
whatever's in the restaurant anyway. I know. Yeah.

1743
01:00:40,675 --> 01:00:43,555
So That was the and again, let me

1744
01:00:43,555 --> 01:00:45,175
say, I knew we were going

1745
01:00:45,875 --> 01:00:49,075
to their home Mhmm. For gravy and rice.

1746
01:00:49,075 --> 01:00:50,994
I did y'all know I had a picture

1747
01:00:50,994 --> 01:00:53,282
in my head of what gravy was, and

1748
01:00:53,282 --> 01:00:56,085
I was like, is there gonna be pro

1749
01:00:56,435 --> 01:00:59,238
like, how's this gonna fill you up? I

1750
01:00:59,238 --> 01:01:02,041
could not finish everything I had. That was

1751
01:01:02,041 --> 01:01:04,844
some dense rice. It's very good spaghetti sauce

1752
01:01:05,085 --> 01:01:07,824
or just sauce, like pasta sauce, I guess.

1753
01:01:08,045 --> 01:01:08,545
But

1754
01:01:08,925 --> 01:01:10,204
I was like, oh, that's how you fill

1755
01:01:10,204 --> 01:01:10,704
up

1756
01:01:12,844 --> 01:01:14,144
on rice and sauce.

1757
01:01:14,525 --> 01:01:17,565
Okay. I was I was very full when

1758
01:01:17,565 --> 01:01:18,385
I was done.

1759
01:01:18,909 --> 01:01:20,130
Anyway, we got sidetracked.

1760
01:01:20,989 --> 01:01:21,969
That we did.

1761
01:01:22,750 --> 01:01:24,429
So I guess we'll go now. Mhmm. This

1762
01:01:24,429 --> 01:01:26,030
is weird. The sun is still out and

1763
01:01:26,030 --> 01:01:27,869
we're gonna stop recording now. I'm not gonna

1764
01:01:27,869 --> 01:01:30,110
know what to do with myself tonight after

1765
01:01:30,110 --> 01:01:32,289
dinner. Same. Same. Same. Same.

1766
01:01:32,904 --> 01:01:34,844
I'm sure I can find something, but Always.

1767
01:01:35,224 --> 01:01:36,664
So I guess we should go do that.

1768
01:01:36,664 --> 01:01:37,164
Yep.

1769
01:01:38,025 --> 01:01:40,105
We will see y'all next week. Bye. Okay.

1770
01:01:40,105 --> 01:01:40,605
Bye.