You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode
four fifty seven. Kayla Lords here with the
one, the only Nope. Nope. There's not a
thing you can say about me right now
because you,
Kayla Lords,
are amazing,
brilliant,
and and diligent.
This woman
rebuilt
the entire Kinkery website
from scratch. And now I'm blushing you and
then nobody can see it, and I kind
of wanna hide because I feel I feel
a way when somebody says nice things about
me.
I don't know how to handle it. I
was actually going to say
the one, the only,
the kindest daddy who was
very supportive in that endeavor.
I kept browsed out. I kept kept you
supplied with Diet Coke. You surely did. And
when we were on the home stretch the
day before recording, so Tuesday,
October
7,
you brought me the biggest Diet Coke for
me to finish up Yep. And get it
done. We will talk about that later.
But
as a result of rebuilding a website,
my brain is fried. And so for the
third week in a row, we are taking
help, and we're taking the easy way,
of making an episode instead of researching a
topic and diving deep. We're gonna let therapy
Jeff help us. Once again, we're gonna answer
10 questions that he says
show you really know your partner. Uh-oh. This
ought to be interesting.
Welcome to the Living BDSM podcast. If this
is your first time listening, glad to have
you. If you're back for another week, welcome
back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and
Friday, except not next week because I couldn't.
I just couldn't, y'all,
for your kinky pleasure and education.
And show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add
the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You
can also follow the show on FetLife at
loving BDSM
PC
on Instagram and technically thread, so that handle
I will forever fucking hate.
It's loving d s and the number one.
So so it's at loving d s one.
I really fucking hate that.
On blue sky at lovingbdsm.
Blah blah blah or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm
where you can watch us live stream the
podcast every Wednesday.
All links are in the show notes.
We've had a little small, not at all
stressful chaos,
before we could Yeah. Just a little blip.
Chat with everybody and not just on the
live
stream. And I forgot that you have to
queue me in when you do the thing
you just had to do, and it gets
all, like,
confusing and
okay. So before we get into
this week's
topic, I got a couple of
announcements. One,
the kinkery the kinkery.com
got a major overhaul remodel. The guts have
been changed out of it. Like, we're on
a whole new platform and system now. Mhmm.
It just went live October 7, day before
recording.
I would love it if you would go
look at it. Yeah. Went live last night
just before, we sat down for dinner.
Is that when that happened? Pretty much. Yeah.
Okay. I lost all track of time.
No sense of time at a certain point.
I did look at JB and go, I
will not be cooking tonight. And we had
I we thawed something out. It it was
ready. It's not a thing he cooks, though.
I And I agreed with her. So last
night was a McDonald's.
Anyway, we are still in the middle of
restocks now that I have finished the massive
website
overhaul, remodel,
whatever.
I will be getting back out into the
shop with JB to help with those restocks.
We are low on some things we don't
like to be low on. Mhmm. But, yeah,
I'd love it if you'd go check it
out because quite frankly, if it's gonna break,
I need more eyeballs on it to tell
me if something's not working
or to, like, load the system up and
see if they can handle it. So,
anyway, I'm very proud of it.
JB was a wonderful support.
It's been a three month project, but really
the bulk of the work has been in
the past like three and a half to
four weeks.
And then
the biggest amount of work was in the
like thirty six to forty eight hours before
it went live.
I'm still tired. I'm still very tired, but
I am very proud of my work. So
far nothing is burning down, blowing up, or
otherwise on fire. And I like I love
that for us.
Next
is this week's Trans Affirming Care Resource. This
is the moment I've realized I forgot to
put it on the Loving BDSM website. I'll
put it there when we're done recording. And
that's for gender bands. They are an international
nonprofit
five zero one c three organization that serves
the transgender, gender nonconforming, and other gender diverse
communities.
They
usually
give out grants,
once a year. This time of year, as
of recording, they would normally have their,
grant applications open,
but they are struggling
as an organization
and,
cannot give out grants right now until they
raise more money. So,
that's not all they do. So if you
or somebody you care about is
seeking resources for trans affirming care, definitely give
gender bands a look because
they,
they're located
in around or near Salt Lake City, Utah.
So they do pop ups for,
clothing swaps,
for folks who are, like, having to change
out your whole ass wardrobe maybe as you
transition.
I know something about that now.
Learning all kinds of things.
So they do that and they,
send out, free binders, chest binders when they
can.
They sell merch all the sale. And right
now they're having clearance sales on their merch,
so it's really good prices.
Sales from that go to,
support the organization.
They're celebrating their tenth anniversary.
They've been around since, yeah, 2015.
And they've got a big fundraiser, where they're
trying to raise a $100,000
that'll let them hire some staff, expand some
programs, do some stuff. So if you yourself
don't need a resource like that, but you
want to support a resource like that,
definitely
consider going and doting. I have got the
link to where to donate, I believe, in
the places. If not, it will be there
by the time I we're done recording.
So, yeah, I was hoping to
help somebody utilize them as a resource
for grants because they are one of the
few places that do grants. Also, if you
are 18,
for anybody that you know who's 18, that's
rare, apparently.
I learned that the hard way.
So now it's, like, on my heart real
hard that I've we've got a I've got
some ideas of how we can show some
support
for some of these organizations, and gender bands
is, like, top of my list right now
since they couldn't do any of their community
work that without
donations, and their biggest project of the year,
they can't do because they don't have enough
funds.
So I would, like, really like to support
them. Their grants, they do a surgical grant,
a medical transition grant, and a social transition
grant. So and they're three separate grants. So
yeah, gender bands, if you want some to
shop their merch, if you want to donate,
if you just want to share the resource
with whoever you know might need it, there
you go. Link in places. Okay.
Okay.
So,
we're gonna answer
10 questions posed by Therapy Jeff.
I need he's got a podcast I'd like
to listen to. And he's also got a
book. And I'm I kinda would like to
read that
because
I I like a lot of his advice.
I like I'm in tune with the vibe
with it. So these are questions that he
says
we should be able to answer about each
other. Mhmm. And if we can answer all
10,
we really know each other. Now a couple
things he does say. One, if you there's
some you don't know, that just means there's
still more to learn. He's he's always like,
don't panic.
Two, when we do these things, I like
to give them to y'all because maybe you
are in a relationship and you would like
to do this as a conversation
something or other, a check-in,
a reconnect.
So
yeah.
Here we go. So when I when that
question is posed, you're gonna answer about me,
I'm gonna answer about you. Okay. Really?
I'm just trying to clarify because my brain
is mush. Okay?
First question. Mhmm.
I'll pose it to you like you're answering
me. What's a really small thing that matters
to me a lot? Mhmm.
There are two things Okay. That come to
mind immediately.
Mhmm. K? Okay.
A fountain Diet Coke.
It is the superior Diet Coke. Right.
And butt rubs.
Yes. I don't consider that small because they
are so important to me. But I I
get from the outside looking in, they'd be
like, oh, that's like a that's that's not
life altering, but, oh, it can be mood
altering. Butt rubs are definitely it.
And I don't even need I mean, do
I enjoy it when butt rubs turn to
butt smacks, turn to
a, you know Mhmm. A new version of
the great dickening? Sure. Sure. Love it. Love
it. It's my it is pleasant. I love
it. I'm here for it. But sometimes you
start rubbing my butt and I lit like,
my nervous system calms down. I zone out.
No thoughts, just vibes.
Completely chilling. And then and then what do
you do? You stop and you go, it's
time to get in bed, baby girl. I'm
like, no. I was being sent to another
plane of existence for a moment there.
What are we doing? So you see why
I don't think it's a small thing, but
I I understand how that's something I I
think I put myself
in a very precarious position.
K? Because for you,
you
never enough butt rubs. No. The the limit
does not exist. Right?
Lola,
belly rubs. Mhmm. You know, a set amount
of belly rubs does not Mhmm. Exist.
And
And onyx. And onyx. You heard you heard
her a few nights when I I missed
her brushing. Head rubs and butt rubs. Yeah.
So basically, you have a type is what
I'm hearing. Seems like. You would either attract
a certain type to you or you are
drawn to certain types. We all but we
all need our our daddy on some level
to rub us is what I'm hearing.
So what's a really small thing that matters
to you?
So I don't know how to explain it
because it's more of a vibe than it
is a thing, an action.
There are times
And I'm not saying feelings are small,
but again, it's an outside looking in. It
feels like this.
You will
be
in your head feeling tense,
something. Maybe you're stressed
and
being interrupted
at not I can't always predict
which moment it is. Being interrupted in thought,
word, or deed,
you can explode. It becomes a small it's
a small thing that becomes bigger. And it's
not like bad or scary. It's not but
it's like, oh, okay. I if I know
your mood like, it's not my job to
know your mood. Like like, I gotta get
out of that mind space of the hyper
vigilance that's not healthy.
I'd like to know your mood. I like
to feel like I can, like, read your
vibe.
But it is if I can do that,
if I know what your mood is and
I can see that you're uptight, the thing
I do not need to be doing is
coming and, like, interrupting and then teasing Because
that's what I like to do. If you
look cranky, I wanna try and make you
smile. And sometimes not always the wise choice.
That just makes him crankier.
Now if we are talking about a physical
thing, small thing
that is, matters to you a lot. Mhmm.
There's a couple of things. Gratitude.
Like, you don't even know what to do
when somebody tells you thank you. You look
so confused,
lost in the the headlights.
Deer in the headlights. You're like, what? What?
Yeah. That's childhood trauma. I know. We all
I know. I know.
And then another thing that's actually, like, a
physical thing is anything peppermint,
mocha, like, mocha or chocolate mint, mint chocolate.
Yeah.
If I want to see you light up
like a little kid, I will I will
bring you a York peppermint patty.
Mhmm. We were very sad when the one
of the gas stations we go to most
frequently. One of them stopped carrying York
completely. And another one jacked the price up
so much. You're like, I'm not paying you
are not paying that. And I had to
go, y'all be drowning. But, yeah. If I
wanna brighten your day, I'll just bring you
something,
mint mint chocolate. That's true. That's very true.
And that's all you need. Yep.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay.
Next question. Okay.
What is something that you could say that
would instantly upset me?
Oh, god.
I know we're talking about it, so it
should not upset me.
You know, I don't think it's it's it's
what I say
as so much the tone. A 100%. Yeah.
You can say almost anything to me If
the tone I perceive the tone to be
off Yeah. I can't handle it. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Mhmm. But if the tone is fine, I'm
like, you would say whatever. Say what you
gotta say, daddy. Like, she said, so And
and sometimes you just
kind of forget that, you know, I'm
Italian, German, and I, you know I know.
You don't the whole family is is low.
Spoken is not in your
vocabulary. When you are soft spoken is usually
when you are feeling a little shy or
introverted or not quite as confident. But
but when you are in your feelings and
you know exactly what you think and how
you feel and what you wanna say,
quiet is not how any of us would
describe you.
No. That is true.
Yeah. It is tone. It is tone. If
the tone
makes me feel like I did when I
was a kid
with another person raised by Italians who spoke
very much the same way, but in a
traumatic way. Yeah. I've I've gotten better at,
like, just removing myself and going and dealing
with my feelings, and then we could come
back. And doing the self talk of this
he's not actually I'm not a small child
who's being into trouble right now. It is
it's fine.
Okay. So what is something that I could
say that would instantly upset your partner? Okay.
I've never said it and I never will,
but I know.
All I have to do
is say or do something that sounds like
your ex wife.
That is your biggest trigger with me.
Yeah. I have never done it, but we've
way back in the archive, we've got an
episode on bad tapes, which not are not
necessarily traumatic things, but they're things that happen
in past relationships that when you get a
whiff of a similar
vibe of it from a current partner, you
treat that current partner like they're your old
partner. It triggers that, reaction. Yeah. It's Mhmm.
We don't argue often.
We have a couple main things that if
we're gonna get tense and get snippy with
one another, they're there. But one of them
is if you perceive Yeah. That I'm reminding
you of your ex.
Yeah. Yep. Yep. Mhmm. And I've gotten really
good at standing in, like, my what in
firmness and going, I am not insert that
person's name here. And the moment I say
that, it's like it's a jolt to your
system. Because one, I don't talk to you
like that. That's true. I can't talk to
you like that. That is true. And, two,
it's like this verbal
reminder. Like, hey. Hey. Woah. Woah. Come get
out of your head.
Talk to the person in front of you.
Right? Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
What's a compliment
that I
would never no.
What's the compliment they'd never get tired of
hearing from you? What's a compliment I would
never get tired of hearing? Hearing from me?
Yeah. Thank you.
Mhmm. I'm too tired to be doing that
mental gymnastics.
Good girl.
Or some variation.
Or like I said last night,
I'm proud of you. Oh my god. I
was about to melt. And you melted. I
did. I don't know how to handle compliments.
They make me a little uncomfortable, but also
in this, like, oh my gosh. I feel
so shy. How do you perceive me right
now?
You I've noticed recently you've always done it.
I mean, praise kink is is part of
our dynamic, of course. But
I don't know if it's because
you are kinda coming back to yourself after
some rough time or if you're just making
a conscious effort. I don't care what the
reason is. I'm just saying I enjoy it.
Yeah. You have been sprinkling in
more
praise Mhmm. Than,
you know. Know like, you've never not praised
me. You've never ignored a thing I've done
Right. Or been, ungrateful for something or, you
know, dismissive of something I do. But it
is
more consistent Yeah. And has been for the
past several months. I mean, that that's kinda
like, you know, one of one of the
big things
with us.
Whenever there are are,
home projects
going on that are, you know, takes a
couple
sets of hands. Mhmm.
Kayla is my lovely assistant.
Because I have the everybody has this not
everybody. A lot of people have the childhood
trauma of your dad yelling at you that
you didn't know how to hold a flashlight.
If you know, you know?
I was a quick learner. I'm a damn
good assistant because nobody's yelling at me because
I can't hold the flashlight. Right?
Anyhoo. Anyway.
You know, when we are done with said
project, I always thank her for your help.
That's so weird to me. I know. I'm
always like, I live in this house too.
Why are you thanking me? But you know
what it it does for me? It reminds
me that you are not used to being
in any relationship, not just marriage, not just
romantic,
any relationship with another human
and
being helped, being seen,
you know, not having to do it on
your own. And every time I realized that
because it will get to fussing with one
another. I'm like, you don't have to thank
me. I live here too. This is my
house to do a project with. He said,
yes. I have to thank you because you
didn't have to do this. I'm like, oh,
because you've been around shitty people for too
long of your life and that's why. And
then I calmed down and I'm like, okay.
It's fine. It's fine. By the time you're
in your eighties, we'll have worked through that.
So what's a compliment you would never get
tired of hearing
from me? Mhmm.
So
I do feel like an awful person to
admit this, and and you always say it's
because I'm a Scorpio bitch. It might be
the neurospicy.
I forget to be complimentary.
I forget to say nice things to people
I care about. I don't forget to say
thank you.
I don't forget to acknowledge
effort.
But I am not a person who's dropping
a lot of compliments.
That's my Scorpio bitch from hell that I
love so much. But here's the thing.
And, again, it just reiterates you've been around
too many shitty people in your life.
Oh, god.
It's usually
when we've done a scene because because I
treat it as part of your aftercare. But
sometimes it's when,
you did a thing.
Like, yeah. I I'm on the Internet too
much, and I'm on the the vanilla hat
algorithm too much. But there's all the complaints
which are valid, of men who don't see
domestic labor as labor. Mhmm. So and I,
you know,
I married into that the first time around.
Thankfully learned my lesson. So JB will do
like, he'll just look around and go, you
know, we need to vacuum the floors. And
he will just vacuum them. He will look
at the trash and go, oh we just
need to And he just does the thing,
right?
But he's also like, I'm What I'm gonna
say is I do this in these moments
and I do this in kink scenes.
I just acknowledge it and say thank you
or you
did like I really appreciate that and you
don't know what to do
with compliments.
Your face you get this expression on your
face that is adorable and you don't let
it out in public. I'm not asking you
to, but, like, your whole, like, brow, which
is usually in grumpy polar bear mode, just
softens.
And your whole body softens, and you're, like,
you become like a marshmallow.
Like, you don't know what to do with
the compliment, but also, I can tell you
feel really seen. And all I've done is
acknowledge and said thank you.
I mean, wow.
Yeah.
There's a reason that there's one of these
questions
that I know the answer to immediately. Didn't
have to think about it. We'll get to
it in a minute. Because I
he should have been treated better than he
was is all I'm saying. Okay. Next question.
This one's a little weird for us because
I don't think it really applies, but we'll
talk about it. Yeah. Which of my friends
do you like the least?
I How Yeah. Yeah. How do I So
first of all, you have to know I
don't really have friends. But second of all,
here's my thought.
My
two best friends are both my mother's age
because I'm that kind of person. And one
passed away in 2017.
And she was the nurturing one. She was
she had a sarcastic streak a mile wide
but she was always she was like the
Mary Poppins handbag, had everything in it.
And she was like real kinda easy to
be around. JB likes both of my my
closest friends who I've, one I've not seen
in too long. But the other friend whose
name I won't say because she's not kinky.
Right. Right. Right. Lives in South Mississippi.
I know you like her. Mhmm.
But when you have gotten to glimpse the
two of us together,
I believe we overwhelmed
you and maybe made you a little nervous.
Because
I match her energy
Yes. And our energies are not that dissimilar.
She's just more comfortable being her
and I know because she was the first
person I ever met who took Ritalin. She
she was diagnosed ADD when we still called
it ADD. Right?
I
met her when I was 19.
She's been that way and she was shocked
that I could keep up with her trains
of thought. I could bring her back around
to a topic. I could I could do
that. Like, we we meshed.
But when we get together, I let up
the side of myself that very rarely gets
to come out in public out because we
feed off of one another. And JB has
had a couple of experiences
of driving both of us back to either,
like, where we were staying or her house
or whatever Mhmm. After way too many margaritas
and a whole hell of a lot of
queso. That was a lot of pictures. They
just kept coming. It's a lot of pictures.
I my if you were the type to
get air quote nervous, I would say that
that friendship, that person, the vibe when we're
together,
that's the closest I would say that they
make you nervous.
Now
I'm gonna do a little lecture because you
don't again, you don't have friends that I
don't like. Mhmm. But here's the problem.
You used to be,
before the depression kicked your ass,
a lot more sociable than you are and
you need social interaction. You do better when
you have community. I know technically we all
do better. That's what the like experts say.
Do I do better when I have to
be out among people? I don't think so.
Anyway, but you do.
And so I've
I you've never made a friend with somebody
that I was like, ew.
You've made friends with people that my instant
vibe was, they wouldn't be my friend, but
okay.
And it was vibes based. It was not
based on action or anything.
And so I'm gonna use this question as
an opportunity
to gently encourage
and nudge
and maybe
put in the tough love clause a little
bit that we need to find ways for
you to be in community
with people in person again
because I think that's better for your mental
health.
Now if you ever befriend somebody that I
think is an awful human being
Mhmm.
I will not be able to hide that.
That's true. You wouldn't. I wouldn't tell you
I would never tell you who you could
be friends with, but you would know. Yeah.
You Oh, yeah. I have I have no
doubt about that. Yeah. So
Okay.
What do you think
my biggest insecurity
is? Pick. There's a list. Not not being
seen.
Not being heard.
Mhmm.
Being dismissed. Yep. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I do have a laundry
list but that one that one triggers me
a lot more than other things do. Like,
I got ins I got inscurious.
But,
yeah. But you know what?
Right back at you,
your biggest insecurity is being dismissed,
is not being listened to, is not being
heard,
is being
treated like you don't know what you're talking
about, like what you have to say is
not important.
Yeah. You anytime something you get a whiff
of that vibe from me or anybody else,
it fucks with you. As I mean, I
know where it comes from as it should
fuck with you.
Okay.
Next one.
What part of your body
do I find most attractive?
It's a toss-up. K.
Between
legs and forearms. Yes.
Yes. You got good hands too.
You got good for you wear a a
button up shirt and roll those sleeves up?
I mean, good lord. I
look, I would already do whatever you said
because that's what we do here, but I
would do it in a much better mood,
whatever it was. Quicker even. Just flash me
a little forearm,
put the kilt on, let me look at
your legs. Let me just lay on the
ground and have you walk past me and
I'll discover what people wear under kilts.
Happily.
Yeah. In non sexual ways, we might just
be chilling and I'll either be rubbing his
forearm or rubbing his leg, like, there's just
nice parts of you.
The third on the list are your eyes.
Your eyes are so fucking blue. Like, you're
wearing that shirt right now and it's, like,
pop blue. I was a kid who was,
like, I have these boring brown eyes.
Right?
I always thought blue eyes were, like,
amazing.
So yeah. Okay. So
what
okay. How do we ask it?
What part of
how do we ask it in reverse?
My brain is so
what part of okay. I have to answer
what part of my body you find most
attractive. Mhmm. I'll get there eventually.
Top top top top, in my opinion, is
my ass.
Yeah.
Followed, I think, probably by my boobs.
Yeah. But definitely Oh, the yeah. Yo. You
were an ass man from way five
thank god because that's a feature I've always
liked about myself.
It's a nice confidence booster when your partner
also likes that.
Well, you know,
given that
I like to spank it so much.
Thank God. And rub it.
I mean. True true true. The limit does
not exist. So you like you like to
spank it, but do you do it enough?
Not really. You like to rub it, but
do you do it enough? Never. Yeah.
No. I mean, you could just make touching
my ass your full time job.
You know? Work double overtime. That that just
gave me that just gave me a thought.
Uh-oh. Oh, god.
That just gave me a thought.
I could put butt rubs
in obedience as a Would I still get
my nightly butt rubs? These would be butt
rubs on top of the regular okay.
Like, don't be, like, don't be, what's the
word I want?
Hoarding butt rubs.
And,
have to set a time limit. They're not
unlimited time.
But they're longer than what I get normally.
Right? Because this is a you wanna know
how quickly I'll be
turning into some bowling?
Look, we've been doing obedience for several months
now. Right? I've been racking up points. It's
fine.
Only
twice. And yesterday was one of them. One
of them. Yeah. I said,
I I would like to turn in points,
and it's a thing you do in the
app. I would like to get my Diet
Coke reward.
I forgot to do it for yesterday. I
need to go back in and do it.
But yesterday's Jamie was like, I think you
just need it. You don't even need to
be a reward. Here's your Diet Coke.
I would like that same energy for butt
rubs. Sometimes they it's not a reward. I
just need them.
All I'm saying.
Okay.
What is my
he called it a sliding door moment. The
where if they had gone left instead of
right, made this one different decision,
their whole life would have gone down a
different path. What do you think my sliding
door decision is? Not leaving your ex?
Or leaving your ex, I should say. Oh,
yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For a 100%. A 100%.
I would to add that the
second
is starting a sex blog,
which really we could go deciding that I'm
just gonna fucking masturbate in my thirties for
the first time in my life because that
sent me down.
But I couldn't I would not have been
in the
been willing to do that exploration and have
my sexual awakening
at 32 without the divorce. So, yeah, the
whole whole life would look completely different. Yeah.
Okay. So What do you think what do
you think mine is? Your sliding door went,
oh my god.
I mean, I could see where there'd be
several. Yeah. I think I think everybody's life
probably has several. The one that is coming
to mind right now based on the conversations
we've been having is when you decided at
18 to get the hell out of your
house. Yeah. And then what were you? 20,
'21 when you came down to Florida?
Mhmm. Yep. Mhmm. Yeah. If I had stayed
in New York, yeah, things would have been
lost. You would be a different human being.
I'm not even like, I'm not even talking
about the kink stuff. I think you would
have gotten to the kink stuff eventually,
but
I think if you
had to live
in
and I don't use this word lightly, in
the toxicity
of your home life Mhmm.
And stayed there and felt stuck there Oh,
yeah. You would you're not even your temperament
would be what it is today. No. Oh,
god. No. I mean, the fact that you
are I'd for years, have just looked at
him and gone, how did you turn out
like this? Because there's nothing in your life
in those formative years that points to you
being this emotionally mature, emotionally intelligent,
communicative,
like in touch with your feelings. You know,
yeah. I can, you know,
it's weird because even as a little little
kid,
I knew something was wrong Mhmm. That that
wasn't right.
Mhmm. I think, truly, I think a lot
of people have that have a time when
they understand it.
It's
that sometimes that time goes past and
they forget, they suppress.
Yeah. Well, your decision's at eighteenth. Some of
them should have landed you in jail. I'm
glad they did. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know.
But that that yeah. I think you'd be
just a different human being with,
if you don't had not done that.
Okay.
When you die, I know this. What do
you wanna do with your body? You're not
dying. First of all, we've established this. Okay?
We're going out together.
I don't care if you gotta live to
be 120.
That's what we're doing.
I know what I wanna do with your
body. You keep telling me no, and I
guess consent matters. So I know you wanna
be cremated. Yeah. And and I know you
want the same. Right. And then I wanna
be fucking scattered. Do not. I don't need
the kids lugging me around. I lugged my
dad around for fifteen years, twenty years.
Wait.
Twenty two.
Yeah.
He's been gone twenty three years.
I let him around for about ten to
fifteen
because he went to my mom Mhmm. First,
and then she
met and married the evil stepdad. And at
some point in that time, she was like,
oh.
She she had, like, a beautiful case for
his urn, and I can't remember how long.
Not long after they got married, I think.
She went, here. Take your dad.
I was like and she was like, here's
the beautiful, like,
doolally.
You can put them in. Here's like, oh
my god. The time I opened the first
time I ever opened the drawer where she
had put some of his things,
the his obituary in the paper,
his glasses, his watch. Mhmm.
Apparently, she had kept a thing of his
cologne, like, in the
whatever piece of furniture that she kept earning.
I opened it and I got a whiff
of his cologne almost fell the fuck
out. But I hung on to him through,
two babies and a divorce.
I finally went Well He needs to have
a final rest in place. I can I
I can So I wanna be scattered somewhere?
I I I know where I want my
ashes scattered. And I'm drawing a blank. I
know we've had this conversation. It's a it's
a place in Pasco County.
Mhmm. Yep. Yeah. Well, I remember this conversation.
Yep.
I don't give a fuck. I'm just gonna
leave the instructions for whoever gets
me. When you open me up, make sure
the wind is
blowing in the correct way. Right. Don't inhale
your mom. Don't don't have it blowing back
at you. Nope.
Nope. Have had almost had that moment once.
Nope. Don't wanna do that.
Don't wanna do that.
Okay.
Next one.
The question is for me, who is not
allowed to speak at JB's funeral? Any fucking
body from his family. Except for one cousin.
One cousin. And if you're well, no. I
don't think you would let would want your
aunt, if she were even alive at that
point, to speak because then we'd be there
for, like, two weeks while she just kept
talking. Right. Yeah. Maybe one cousin. Yeah. But
Nobody.
Nobody
from your immediate family.
So who's not allowed to speak at my
funeral?
I don't have people who, like I don't
have a big family. Yeah. By the time
I'm gone, they'll I'll have the kids and
that's about it.
I would if
yes. Since your family is so nuclear,
I would have to say,
your aunt.
Yeah.
And that's sad. There was a time I'd
have been like, oh, she will tell the
funniest stories and the best jokes. Yeah. And
I know. Yeah.
She probably still would try to tell the
the best stories and the funniest jokes, but
I think something
awkward would slip in and be like, oh.
Yeah. Yeah. From from
the afterlife, wherever the fuck that is, I'd
be like, oh, god. That's cringe. Okay. Mhmm.
I I would say the person who if
I have a funeral, this will be up
to my children probably by the way.
I don't even I I can't even imagine
what they have planned for me.
But I think if the oldest talked,
he would be the only one that talked,
but he would talk a very long time.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah. It'd be my funeral and everybody be
checking their watches like, are we done?
Well, you know what? He would he would
talk for himself.
Mhmm.
And he would talk for the for the
youngest. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Because the youngest
is not Yeah. Nor would I ask that
of them. Okay.
What
what is one of from your perspective, my
favorite
yeah. What is your partnership? What is one
of my favorite memories from our relationship? I
don't know how these questions work when I
have to reward them. I'm sorry.
What do you think one of my favorite
memories is?
Oh, gosh.
Yeah. I know pick. Yeah.
I know. I'm gonna go
simple, the first time we met in person.
See, I was gonna say that was your
favorite. Because so when we first met in
person,
I did the thing I would never recommend
to any fucking body. Don't do what we
did. Okay?
I knew he was on his way, been
checking in. I was like, okay, let me
know when you get close. Well, okay. I
left my front door unlocked. I said, just
come on in. You don't need to knock.
You just come on in. I think I
was playing off like, I was gonna be
busy. Just walk on in. And when he
walked in, I was in, like, a very
specific kneeling position
Mhmm. Wearing nothing but a purple button up
men's dress shirt.
It was like the sexiest moment I've ever
had in my life.
And I wanted that to be the first
thing you saw.
So I always think that's your favorite memory.
Maybe it's both our memories. Probably. Favorite memory.
The the others on my list for you
that I would say are probably some of
your favorite.
Not the very first time I rode on
his motorcycle because I cried and I sweated
through his his shirt.
But the second time I rode on his
motorcycle and a couple of times when we
still lived in Tampa Bay area. We went
to get,
burgers.
The first time? Yeah. Yeah. And I was
holding on to you and your my hands
are on your stomach. And when we stopped,
we only went a mile up the road,
y'all.
When he pulled into the parking lot and
I pulled my hands away, there were hand
prints of my sweat.
I've been so
nervous.
After that, I was better. After that, I
was better. I mean, I one of the
last rides I ever got to go on
with you on the your
your shadow Mhmm. Not your Can Am. We
still haven't gotten there.
We did this long windy road and it
was
it actually inspired an article that I wrote
and sold to some site.
Mhmm. But that was like that free moment
of we're just like I was just grooving
with you. The one thing you always said
when I would ride the motorcycle with you
is you told me okay lean with me
but he would go you you did a
good job with that. And I was like
I'm like a fucking burr
attached to your clothing. Don't worry I'm leaning
with you.
So I guess motorcycle riding your motorcycle is
one of my favorite memories too. Now, the
one that to this day can still bring
a cheesy grin to my face,
wedding, anything wedding. When we were sitting up
there and you kept getting me drinks that
definitely were,
alcoholic.
When I embarrassed my children, like, I thought
they wanted the ground to open them up
and swallow them because did I do the
ChaCha slide? Hell, yeah. I did. Did I
do the electric slide? Hell, yeah. I did.
There was another one. I can't remember what
it's called, but it's like a very popular
whatever whatever it lined it. Yes. I did.
Because I was
I wasn't drunk, but I was feeling no
pain and as happy as I've ever fucking
been.
It was the first major life moment that
I was having that I chose
that I
wanted to be there
completely. It wasn't, oh, it's this stressful moment.
It's supposed to be this great moment, but
it's really stressful.
When I when I got married the first
time, my dad had only been gone like
four or five weeks at that point, maybe
six.
When the oldest was born, he was a
month early. We were flat broke, had, the
water had just been turned off at our
house. I was very stressed. When the,
second was born, that I was I was
cool, calm, and collected, but I think I
was figuring out I didn't like my husband.
So
us getting married was, like, the first time
I ever had this big life changing event
and was
that you and what we were doing was
my only focus.
Like, the outside world didn't matter. I on
my
physical, financial,
emotional needs outside of our relationship were being
met. I had a safe place to live.
Our lights were on. Our water was on.
My kids were healthy and safe. Like, I
was at that point working in a
self
self made air quote career
that I loved and we were doing well
at. Like, I like, life was fucking good.
And then I got to have this main
life moment
that's typically very big for folks
and not nothing could have stressed me out.
We didn't have an officiant. I was pissed,
but you know what I wasn't? I wasn't
stressed.
We were supposed to have a photographer.
I was pissed, but you know what I
wasn't? I wasn't stressed. Because I didn't actually
care about most of the stuff. Like the
officiant, that was how we were gonna slide
some kink in without anybody knowing. Yeah. So
I was disappointed,
but it didn't take away my joy. True.
So that's another one of my favorite.
I think one of your favorites we've got
a list here. We could go down. I
don't I don't know how I would ever
pick, like, the favorite. But I think one
of your favorites is when we
maybe not the first time because I think
there might have been nerves, but maybe the
first time when we started playing publicly in
dungeons. Mhmm.
Because now I feed off of that as
an exhibitionist,
and I think
you I've noticed,
in my opinion, if you were gonna go
into Dom space, that is when it would
happen. It doesn't usually happen at home. True.
I mean, we can, like, get intense if
we want, but Oh, yeah. It was it's
the public play. True. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
Those are all of the questions. If you
would like to do these questions with your
significant other or others,
in podcast show notes on Friday, all of
the questions will be there, but you can
just follow the link to Therapy Jeff's Instagram
reel.
He helpfully put the questions in the caption.
And I appreciated that when I did the
copy paste
for the notes for this one.
So those are the questions.
Also reminder,
go check out the cankery, the cankery.com.
You don't have to stroke my ego, but
if something's broken, you should tell me. Please
and thank you.
And, also, if you or somebody you care
about is looking for an organization that can
help them,
with any part of their transition, gender bands.
If you got some extra cash, you wanna,
like,
help an organization that helps people,
especially in the current climate where, oh my
god, nothing is safe, clearly.
Gender bands would would love a donation. I
have some thoughts about doing some fundraisers in
November. I gotta formulate them and we gotta
talk about them. But Sure. I think gender
bands would be one of Good. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Mhmm.
So, yeah, that is us. And we can
do a bonus section. Okay. So,
are we good? I don't know. I don't
know.
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you
next week.
Dad, hey. Yeah. Can we talk with the
crickets, please? Of course. Can I can I
have permission to just complain about how tired
I am?
It's a good tired, but it is a
mind numbing
tired. That's true. That's true.
That's very true.
So Kingery website already said you did a
different job.
We had a thank you.
We were having a conversation,
over the weekend when I knew we were,
like we had planned that this is the
day we would close down so I could
do some things and I wouldn't do with
a live sign.
And we were now on a timeline and
whatever.
I'm trying to explain
to JB my neuroses
about these things. And I said,
look, I need you to understand that typically
the way I operate when I take on
a project
is I try to be very thorough because
I like to be thorough. I don't like
to have to go back and do double
work or undo to read. I I hate
that. Like, that lack of efficiency, there's something
about it that just
makes me very irrationally angry.
But also,
what I am
trying I'm endeavoring to do is for it
to be perfect. Now why does it have
to be perfect when nothing perfection doesn't exist.
Nothing can be perfect. It is because if
that site had gone live and something had
gone wrong because I just didn't have any
information
or a a human mistake
was made,
I would feel like a failure that I
did not foresee
all the things I couldn't have known about.
And he's looking at me like, bitch, you
are so crazy. I'm like, I know. I
know.
So something about saying that out loud did
help. So
I
went when I hit the button and the
site goes live and I'm like, oh shit.
Right?
I was on edge, but I was fine.
But it's because the
hour and a half prior,
even though small things were missed and they
were easily corrected, they were nothing was like
life altering. It was just a small little
thing. The major stuff, I was quadruple I
would check and go, but did I really
check? And then I would
I have been diagnosed with OCD in the
past, and I was like, is this OCD
or is this just being thorough? I can't
always tell. I could I'd like a medical
professional to tell me. You know, I mean,
woodworkers have the saying, measure twice Cut once.
And I'm the oh, we'll measure five times.
Just to be safe. If you do an
extra extra times,
you can't possibly be human and make a
mistake.
The other thing
I mean, I guess, you know, as we
get older,
wisdom maybe. I don't know if it's wisdom,
but it's definitely even more self awareness. I
said to JB, I said, look.
I have a really bad way of doing
things where I do not celebrate accomplishments. I
finish a thing. I I finish a goal.
I finish a project. I put it out
in the world or I make it known
to the person or whatever it is. Right?
I do the thing and it's a big
thing. It's made me tired. It took a
lot of time and resources and focus. Blah
blah blah blah. I said, I don't know
how to celebrate that. And what I tend
to do is go, yep, got that done,
and move to the next project. I said,
but I don't want to immediately move to
the next project. Do I have multiple projects
waiting for
Yes. I do. I was like, I
would like to just rest
and just, like, take a have a few
days where I'm not working
fourteen to sixteen hours. I was like, can
you help me with that?
He was like, yeah. Don't you worry. I
got you. I was like, okay. Good.
I'm so grateful.
So yeah. When I was like, I don't
have it in me to cook the meal
that I was supposed to cook. I don't
know why I thought
that that the day of publishing the fucking
website was gonna be a day I would
have the bandwidth to, like, make dinner.
I don't I don't know where that came
from.
But, yeah, you were real quick to go
here. We navigated that quickly. Yeah. You were
real quick to go, here's your Diet Coke.
It was massive, and I slurped it the
fuck down. And he was like and then
you were like, yep. Let's go get McDonald's.
I was like, that sounds lovely.
So and now I'm just,
taking the rest of the week and the
weekend to just
do what needs to be done, but not
anything extra, which is why, I told, livestream
folks this, but for everybody else, there's not
we're supposed to start back with our Monday
episodes now that we're
out of our summertime
livestream schedule.
And this week, I just was like, I
nope. I cannot do it. Let us do
it next week. And
so we'll have,
Monday,
short episodes coming back out
in the October
because that is that is what I can
do.
So Yeah.
Yeah. I kinda don't know what to do
with myself because I don't have a big
long I've got small things I'm working on
on the site, but, you know, a couple
of little things that came up.
I got DMs of, oh, this thing that's
supposed to have information, it's blank. I was
like, oh, thank you. You know, I added
it to my list. And then somebody commented
on the Discord. They're like, why does some
of the paddles say they're $0?
And
we're
at the curbside
pickup
for McDonald's, and I had not yet put
the Shopify app on my phone.
And I was like,
are we giving away paddles? No. No. It
was a little glitchy thing in the back.
We were not giving away free paddles.
It was just not showing the correct price.
But I did have like, I didn't eat
my dinner. I put I divvied out everybody's
dinner when we got home with it. I
put my dinner down and tried to keep
it all wrapped up so maybe the fries
would not be, ugh, gross cold. And immediately
came back here and was like, are we
giving away free paddles? We were not giving
away free paddles, but I did fix it
before I let myself eat. And it was
a quick easy fix. It was a quick
easy fix. Very quick easy fix. It was
a a learning curve
of the difference between the old system we
used, which was WooCommerce,
and Shopify.
Yeah. So
I mean, currently, knock on wood, I'm absolutely
in love with Shopify.
Good. Absolutely in love.
But After three months of migration.
Yeah. Some of that was procrastination. I know.
I spent an ungodly amount of time going,
I would like this one page to look
exactly perfect
before I can do anything else.
Because, you know, I'm a goal oriented person.
I like Excuse me. To do big things,
but I don't I I get so weird
about, oh, the big thing I'm doing is
going to be seen by others.
What does it say about me if it's
not perfect?
Mhmm. I know there's no such thing as
perfect. I understand.
So yeah. So yeah. I could I spent
a week on one page at some point
in the three months.
And yet, I did all that. And then
towards the end when I like, we had
products in and I was,
finalizing things, and I was like, okay. This
is gonna this is what it's gonna look
like real world. That's a real product that,
you know, you could purchase now if I
had it turned on. Right? And I was
all that time I spent perfecting
the look of it
for expedience when it didn't work or something.
I was like, nope. We just take that
shit out. Nope. We just rework it. I
was like, goddamn.
So Yeah.
Yeah. But yeah.
So I'm,
I think you are my next project and
your Etsy shop. Uh-huh. Mhmm.
Yeah. I've been doing a lot with that
Mhmm. Lately. And and I don't know why.
For some reason, it just kind of,
bubbled up that I need to pay more
attention to it.
Yeah. I I do think you were getting
close if you're not there, I hope you're
not there, of burnout with the kinkery
because, I mean, our whole life is just
about restocks. We can't keep we don't at
no point in
most of a full calendar year will we
have
something in stock for every product we have.
I know. There were all there are always
restocks. And, you know, we're talking about how
we wanna move forward with some of that.
And if there's some changes we wanna make,
that's a next year problem. Mhmm. But I
think that you getting the
the creative ideas of what you wanted to
make that weren't kinky
Mhmm. And then how you wanted that to
tie into your Etsy shop. I I think
it was your brain going, I get me
off this fucking hamster wheel. I gotta do
something different. I need another outlet.
It it's been it's it's been,
kinda good, you know. I've I've been I
made all the,
Halloween Mhmm. Ornaments that showed off. Then you
made me a new display thing, right, as
I was making a website. I was like,
I can retake the pictures with this really
cool display thing. But I was making a
website, so I haven't had chance.
That's gonna be really cool. You should I
mean, podcast listeners, I'm sorry. You cannot
see this.
We'll try to describe it. And if you
come to the bonus sections part of the
YouTube video, you can see it. It's this
little wooden, like
oval kinda shaped platform with
it's not a wire. What what is that
piece of metal? It's a bent piece of
It's a welding rod.
It's a welding rod. Arced out. And so
then ornaments that I have put a little
string or a little ribbon on, I can
hang and I can take a picture of
the damn thing hanging. Because my angles were
all wrong on trying to take them. And,
yeah.
You're so creative.
Now here's what I loved about that. Now
I know, yes, technically it was to your
benefit because better pictures on your Yeah.
But all I said was I was looking
through Michael's
website, michael's.com. I was like, I need to
find a display something that is makes it
easier to take pictures of orbments. That's all
I said. I didn't find anything. I closed
the site. I was like, we'll keep doing
what we do. It'll be fine.
Two days later? Yeah.
JB walked now I am knee deep in
doing something not his Etsy shop. And he
walks in with the little hangy thing, the
little display thing for ornaments. I was like,
oh, oh my gosh.
I just said I needed a thing and
then it was provided.
What?
I'm the luckiest girl ever.
Mhmm. So, yeah. I've been I've been doing
that.
Mhmm. I've been, you know, with the
I've been working on Christmas ornaments.
Mhmm.
And,
yeah, I've I've just enjoyed it. Matter of
fact, I've been enjoying it so much. I've
even started recording.
You're uploading videos to your YouTube channel. I'm
uploading videos to the YouTube channel. The Wood
Dom on YouTube. Mhmm.
And,
yeah.
I mean, I've been kinda doing a lot
of stuff. It's like you got a little
bit of a creative or not a little
bit of, but a different creative spark Mhmm.
Going. I like it.
You're much calmer when you're using your outlets
like that. Yeah.
And,
we've been doing some small things around the
house. I,
couple weeks ago, started rescreening.
Yes.
Our, screens were in rough shape. Partly because,
who knows when they've been changed before we
bought the place. But also, when the weather
cools off, we open our windows. Right. Our
cats love it.
They also love to put their claws
through the screen. Yeah. So one of the
one of the things I've I've done in
doing this, I've gotten the, heavy duty Mhmm.
Screen for,
for pets. Yep. You are
who knows if we will continue to be
motivated like this when this project's done, but
we were having a conversation today about, like,
you know, let's do little things around the
house. And I was like, look at us
being motivated again. Yeah. You know, it doesn't
it never happens, like, all at once, and
it doesn't happen consistently, but I can tell
that we are in better head spaces
together
Mhmm.
When I look back and go, oh my
god. That's right. We didn't have the mental
or physical energy to do
very simple things
Right. For
way too long. Yeah. I mean, and that
yeah. I know you do this too because
I know how you are. There's that knee
jerk reaction to feel guilty about it, but
I'm more like, but look at us go
now. We Yeah. There was there were things
preventing us both within and without,
and they're not now. And so instead of
being like, oh, that sucks that we didn't
do it for all that time, I'm gonna
just be like, hell yeah, but look at
us doing it now. Right. You know, it's
like, you know, I was talking about when
I finish with the screens,
downspouts
Yeah. Are looking really, really rough. And we
we are still planning on painting our front
door. I think we talked about that last
week or week before. We are a little
bit at an impasse
with the colors.
Yeah. I the paint chips we got because
there's different kinds of paint chips. Sometimes they're
just a single solid color. Uh-uh. This is,
is it the Valspar
paint at Lowe's? It's it's got three colors.
Right? And they're all, like, in the same
family.
And I pulled several.
I like the deepest darkest colors.
JB likes the lighter colors. I think the,
compromise will be the middle center color.
Mhmm. Because I'm like, no. No. No. I
want our the the color of our front
door to pop so much. You can't miss
it when you're just driving by. I want
it bold. I don't want anything else about
our house to be bold. I want the
door I don't know why. I want the
door to be bold. Yeah. So, yeah, we
have not moved forward with that because we
are we are a little bit out of
stalemate on
it. What shade is what color? I was
actually thinking though I could,
regardless of what we decide on color, I
can move ahead and clean Yeah. The door
and Prime it. Prime it. Yeah.
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Yep.
Look at us doing home projects again. I
know.
Yep. It's been good. It's been nice to,
to, you know, get some of this done.
Somebody woke up from her nap and just
lumbering over. Mhmm. She's a little bleary eyed.
Big stretch.
Oh, yeah.
You have to acknowledge the big stretch Yep.
When the big stretch occurs. And followed by
the big yawn.
Is she on her back with her belly
up waiting to be loved? No.
She's not quite awake yet. Right.
Right. You know, I'm no. Not Onyx because
Onyx is probably a cat that could do
with, like, whatever the cat version of, like,
Lexapro is or or Prozac. Right? Like,
Onyx could be on meds. And I know
that there are antianxiety
meds for for pets. I know that. But
the other
two, Ella and Lola,
I can tell
that either our energy is better or they're
just, like, chilling as they get older or
what because those two, Lola and Ella, different
times in different places, spend a hell of
a lot of time on their back, stomachs
exposed,
limbs
splayed,
like they've got not a care in the
world. Not our girl, Onyx. No. Onyx is
a little bit like You're lucky to catch
her in a loaf.
Yeah. And you won't catch her in a
full loaf for long. She'll go in a
full loaf when she's comfy, but then what
you did was you walked by just a
little too fast, a little too hard, or
a little too aggressively Or you did that.
Made on. Right? And now she's not comfortable
to be in the full cat loaf.
And yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Mhmm. Oh, but, yeah, that's that's been us.
Mhmm.
And,
still kinda waiting for the real
fall weather.
It Probably be December before we get it.
Yeah. It it kinda teased us a little
bit.
We had like a week and a half
of gorgeous weather.
See, and our definitions of gorgeous are a
little bit different. Mhmm. You're like anything that's
not a 100%
humidity and 95 degrees, anything lower than that,
great. It's nice. Yeah. And I'm like, do
not call me until it is 72
and free of humidity.
That is my perfect.
Yeah. Jamie would be like, oh my god.
It's so amazing. Or you should walk out.
And I would walk out and break a
sweat. And I was like, nope. I do
not find it amazing at all. I'm gonna
go back inside.
Oh, gosh.
So, you know. Yeah. That's how it is
sometimes. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Alright. I guess we can be done. Yeah.
I can't keep my eyes open. I gotta
go check my gravy.
Spaghetti sauce. If you're not Italian I've been
to other cultures
or
or call spaghetti sauce or sauce gravy. Because
see, I'm Southern.
When you say the word gravy, two things
come to mind. A brown gravy, a white
gravy. A white gravy probably with sausage in
it, but that's different. But I know that
I know that is like a certainly a
thing in your family because your mom used
to call it gravy. And the first time
I heard it, I was like, oh, we're
having gravy and rice. And I was like,
that's a meal? Okay. Look, I'm new. We're
still dating.
I'm not rocking the fucking boat, but I
did have a very specific image in my
head
of what was going to be served.
And
thankfully, sometimes I do have a poker face,
and I was just like, oh, you meant
spaghetti sauce on rice, which I had never
had spaghetti sauce on rice before. Risotto.
It wasn't risotto.
See, I only know risotto like the fancy
restaurant risotto. See, here's here's what We're never
leaving. Sorry. We got ourselves on another track.
My my my great grandmother explained it.
Each region
of Italy had their own version.
Okay. Okay. Okay. And that that's that's why
you see so much difference. Plus, you know,
a lot of stuff has been over the
years now. They've Certainly Americanized.
Yes. We do that to everything. Yes. Yes.
And the home cooking is gonna be just
automatically different from
whatever's in the restaurant anyway. I know. Yeah.
So That was the and again, let me
say, I knew we were going
to their home Mhmm. For gravy and rice.
I did y'all know I had a picture
in my head of what gravy was, and
I was like, is there gonna be pro
like, how's this gonna fill you up? I
could not finish everything I had. That was
some dense rice. It's very good spaghetti sauce
or just sauce, like pasta sauce, I guess.
But
I was like, oh, that's how you fill
up
on rice and sauce.
Okay. I was I was very full when
I was done.
Anyway, we got sidetracked.
That we did.
So I guess we'll go now. Mhmm. This
is weird. The sun is still out and
we're gonna stop recording now. I'm not gonna
know what to do with myself tonight after
dinner. Same. Same. Same. Same.
I'm sure I can find something, but Always.
So I guess we should go do that.
Yep.
We will see y'all next week. Bye. Okay.
Bye.