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You're listening to Loving BDSM podcast episode four

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fifty six. K. The Lord's here with the

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one, the only, the man who puts up

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with my shit and keeps coming back for

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more, John Brownstone.

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So who's the masochist here? Yeah. I wonder

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sometimes.

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I really do.

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Look. My shit putting up with my shit

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allows you to be a sadistic bastard. So

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I I guess it's symbiotic

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relationship. Yeah. Yeah. It all all washes out.

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We're gonna go with symbiosis and not parasitic.

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We're

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gonna

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and I, remember that much from what? Biology,

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I think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know

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what another recording of something else I did

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a physics

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reference?

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I don't know what's happening. I don't know

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what's happening.

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That's not what we're here to talk about

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this week, though. As always,

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I just as always,

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life got just a touch extra chaotic this

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week, so we're taking another easy week, and

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we're just answering questions. I have a list

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of topics y'all. I just gotta have the

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the

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bandwidth to do the damn research on them.

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So

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doing a Ask Us Anything, we asked for,

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questions over on that handle I fucking hate.

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And we got a few good ones, so

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this ought to be fun.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for

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your kinky pleasure in education, and show notes

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are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram and technically threads at that handle

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I will forever motherfucking

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hate. Oh my god. I still get mad

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every time I think about it. It's loving

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d s and the number one. So it's

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at loving d s one.

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On blue sky at lovingbdsm.

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Blah blah blah or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm

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where you can watch us live stream of

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the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in

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the show notes. Big thanks as always to

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our kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our

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newest

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We can keep being fucking weirdos on the

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Internet,

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but in large part because of our Patreon

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community. We are grateful for every fucking one

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of you.

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If you would like to join our kinky

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community and get access to extra content, plus

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our Discord server,

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with some super chill, like,

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good folk,

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you can do that. Just join us at

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patreon.com/kaylalords.

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That's patreon.com/kaylalords

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or use the link in the show notes.

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Okay. Before we get into answering questions, announcement

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time. But if I don't get my notes

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up, I'll say something wrong.

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So the first announcement is a programming note.

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This would have happened this week, except I

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don't know how calendars and time work.

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I was convinced

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this day we're on October 1 was really

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gonna be September 30. I don't know where

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I got that from. I knew there were

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thirty days in the month. I didn't miscount.

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I just don't know how calendars

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work.

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So we're supposed to be off our summer

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schedule

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as of October,

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and next week, we will be. Mhmm. So

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we are changing the time again. This will

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be,

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it's a fourth time change really if you

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think about it. We used to stream at

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noon, then we went to one,

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and now we're like, nope. We need more

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time on Wednesdays. We can't.

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Stream days used to be the only thing

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we did was stream and record Yeah. And

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and do this kind of stuff. And we

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kinda can't. We need more time, working on

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the kangry. The kangry.com.

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Yep. So

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our livestream

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time starting next week, I hope I remember

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when I schedule it,

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be 3PM

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Eastern.

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I know that's not a good time for

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some folks. For some folks, that's not your

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lunch hour. For some folks, your time zone

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makes it like middle I I I know.

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If I could figure out the perfect time

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that worked for all of us, I would

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do it. I have not found that time

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yet.

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That time we think will work the best

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for us because of how our days Yeah.

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Run. And,

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also, I don't mind doing the 7PM in

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the summer. Mhmm. There's some because to avoid

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the heat, but there's something about doing this

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later in the day that makes

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me feel like I don't have any time

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for myself. Big air quotes there. I have

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plenty of time for myself. I don't I

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don't know what it is. Like, it's fun,

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like, the first month. And by, like, September,

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I'm like, oh my god. I'm kinda done

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with the 07:00

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thing because I like to be complicated and

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difficult. Mhmm. Okay. Next,

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our trans affirming care resource of the week.

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If you don't know what that's about, you

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gotta go listen to last week's episode. I

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promised not to be long winded on that

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after I did it the first time.

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Is Point of Pride.

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Point of Pride provides financial aid and direct

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support to trans folks in need of health

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and wellness care. We have donated to them

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ourselves. We are not utilizing them as a

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resource yet,

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for what why we would need to know

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them. If you don't know what I'm talking

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about, go listen to last week's episode.

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They

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provide let me I wrote it down because

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I was afraid I'd forget. Okay. There you

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go. They have multiple funds

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for,

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helping trans folks get, like, care they need.

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So they have a surgery fund. They have

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an HRT fund. That one was fascinating. That

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works like a scholarship program.

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So they are partnered with, like, four different

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places. Two or three are online.

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One or two are in person, I think,

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for gender affirming care, medical transition, stuff like

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that.

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And what they do is for eighteen months,

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they actually pay directly

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to the telehealth or the doctor's office or

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whoever that is that they're partnered with for

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trans people to get their care. They pay

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for labs. They pay for prescriptions.

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I was like,

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that's amazing. I like that. They have an

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electrolysis

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fund for folks who are, like, dealing with

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hair

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stuff. That one hits close to home with

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our experience

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personally,

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lately.

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They have what they call the Thrive Fund,

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which covers what the other three funds don't,

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so mostly nonmedical stuff. And then they also,

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mail out free chest binders and femme shapewear.

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So you don't have to you have to

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apply, like, put in your information for the

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free binders and shapewear and that's ongoing all

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year long. And then the funds, they open

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up at certain times of the year. So

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if you

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or anybody you know and care about could

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use a resource like that for, you know,

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their medical needs,

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feel free point of pride. We learned about

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them through, Mercury Stardust

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on Instagram,

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a k a the trans handy ma'am.

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They are delightful.

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Yeah. I love

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her.

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I've learned a few things from her. Oh,

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you they know what they're talking about. Yeah.

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Absolutely.

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And all it's so sweet. Like, I've I've

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watched reels where Mercury will be like,

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the person has made a reel and then

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Mercury stitched it, right, to, like, answer the

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question of this thing that's happened in their

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house and they don't know how to fix

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it. And they're, like, freaking out. They're like,

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oh my god. I'm so bad at this.

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I'll never get this fixed. And Mercury looks

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into the camera and goes, you can do

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this. I have complete

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faith in you. I'm just like, oh my

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god. This isn't even about me and I

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feel better. Anyway, that's where we heard of

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Point of Pride.

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If you

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don't need or know anybody who could use

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those resources, but you wanna, like, be a

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part of something and help trans folks out

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in this fucking world we live in right

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now,

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you can donate,

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just direct cash. That's what we've done before.

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You can volunteer the volunteer. You don't have

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to go anywhere. You write,

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kind and affirming

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notes that go in the boxes that get

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sent out to trans people who need the

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shapewear and stuff.

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Or you can help fundraise. Like you can

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and I was I'm gonna look into that.

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Maybe the loving BDSM community

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needs to do a fundraiser. I don't know.

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Well, no promises.

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So I said I wasn't gonna be long

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winded but nobody believed that. Did you? Okay.

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Point of pride. Link is in the places.

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That's my spiel.

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Okay. We are answering

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questions.

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K.

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And I am hoping

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that I still remember where to go to

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get them. Actually, I'm so paranoid. I screenshotted

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them in case, like, I couldn't. And I

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was like, oh, how does this work?

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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Hey. First question.

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This one is definitely for me. What kind

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of tasks do you do?

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So I have the set tasks that were

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negotiated ages ago, and then I have as

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needed tasks. So the set tasks,

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I get the coffee pot ready at night.

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So all JB has to do is push

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a button when he's not caffeinated

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and

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kind. He's a grumpy, grumpy polar bear without

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that coffee.

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I also get the bed ready. I pull

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it down. I put JB's pillows exactly like

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he likes before we go to bed.

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In the morning, I make the iced coffee

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for the day. I put out his probiotics

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so he will remember to take it. I

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also, at the end of the day, put

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out his magnesium so he remembers to take

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that.

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Then you make the bed. I do. I

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make the bed. I have to explain myself

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if I don't make the bed. It's usually

271
00:09:10,794 --> 00:09:12,414
I have to change the sheets,

272
00:09:12,955 --> 00:09:14,794
and this is how I will remind myself

273
00:09:14,794 --> 00:09:16,714
to change the sheets. There was a time

274
00:09:16,714 --> 00:09:18,714
in life I'd never made my bed. As

275
00:09:18,714 --> 00:09:21,034
a kid, I never did. Into my twenties,

276
00:09:21,034 --> 00:09:22,394
I never did. You know when I started

277
00:09:22,394 --> 00:09:24,210
making the bed? When I got divorced and

278
00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:26,049
I had pretty sheets and nobody in my

279
00:09:26,049 --> 00:09:28,250
fucking bed. It's delightful. And then I just

280
00:09:28,370 --> 00:09:29,809
it's become a habit and I like how

281
00:09:29,809 --> 00:09:31,730
it looks, so I just do it. So

282
00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:33,330
I get kinda antsy when I don't make

283
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:34,070
the bed.

284
00:09:34,450 --> 00:09:35,590
Good habit now.

285
00:09:38,134 --> 00:09:40,375
Am I missing anything? Oh, I when we're

286
00:09:40,375 --> 00:09:42,375
in the car, I Mhmm. When you need

287
00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:43,034
your sunglasses

288
00:09:43,654 --> 00:09:45,174
even if I don't think he needs them,

289
00:09:45,174 --> 00:09:46,934
I ask, do you want your sunglasses? And

290
00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,455
then he decides. But I always hand them

291
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,615
over. We do we have absolutely anybody with

292
00:09:50,615 --> 00:09:52,214
glasses knows what I'm talking about. Done the

293
00:09:52,402 --> 00:09:55,070
we're speeding down the highway, and I'm passing

294
00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:57,730
and exchanging glasses Yeah. Like,

295
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:01,230
in that sort of, like, don't blink, don't

296
00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:02,750
fall off the road kind of thing. That's

297
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:04,610
when one of those times when you

298
00:10:06,375 --> 00:10:08,054
want to get a hit a red light.

299
00:10:08,054 --> 00:10:09,254
I know. And you do not hit a

300
00:10:09,254 --> 00:10:10,774
red light. And you and every freaking light

301
00:10:10,774 --> 00:10:12,634
is green. So for tasks,

302
00:10:13,095 --> 00:10:14,855
those are the things that are set every

303
00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:16,695
time. There are other things that are part

304
00:10:16,695 --> 00:10:18,774
of our routine and our protocols, but that's

305
00:10:18,774 --> 00:10:20,295
not what you asked. You asked about tasks.

306
00:10:20,295 --> 00:10:21,835
Then there's the as needed.

307
00:10:22,269 --> 00:10:25,070
So JB needs something and he will assign

308
00:10:25,070 --> 00:10:27,309
it to me either through the Obedience app

309
00:10:27,309 --> 00:10:29,549
now Yeah. Or he'll just verbalize it or

310
00:10:29,549 --> 00:10:30,750
write it down for me. And that can

311
00:10:30,750 --> 00:10:32,129
be research a thing,

312
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,230
find me the name of, find me the

313
00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,289
phone number of,

314
00:10:36,669 --> 00:10:38,875
like, whatever he might need. And it does

315
00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:40,495
tend to be those kind of administrative

316
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:41,375
tasks.

317
00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:43,274
Mhmm. I don't mind. He knows I don't

318
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:45,834
mind. We did have to work around and

319
00:10:45,834 --> 00:10:46,334
renegotiate,

320
00:10:48,875 --> 00:10:49,375
the

321
00:10:49,914 --> 00:10:51,595
can you just walk up and tell me

322
00:10:51,595 --> 00:10:53,009
the thing without me being

323
00:10:53,730 --> 00:10:55,570
one, without me forgetting it, and two, without

324
00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:56,389
me being overwhelmed.

325
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:59,169
And that that was, I think, frustrating for

326
00:10:59,169 --> 00:11:01,250
both of us because we both wanted it

327
00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:02,549
to be the way it was

328
00:11:03,009 --> 00:11:04,610
when I was still in my thirties. So

329
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:06,690
you could just tell me a thing and

330
00:11:06,690 --> 00:11:08,745
my steel trap of a brain could hold

331
00:11:08,745 --> 00:11:10,345
it and then go do it and there

332
00:11:10,345 --> 00:11:12,664
was no overwhelm at all. And Same. It

333
00:11:12,664 --> 00:11:13,965
is not like that anymore.

334
00:11:14,985 --> 00:11:17,225
So the way JB does it now, we've

335
00:11:17,225 --> 00:11:18,664
only done it a couple times, but he'll

336
00:11:18,664 --> 00:11:20,504
actually put it in the Obedience app, and

337
00:11:20,504 --> 00:11:21,485
I'll get the notification.

338
00:11:21,945 --> 00:11:23,549
And that one was a research thing, find

339
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,629
me a recipe for. So those are the

340
00:11:25,629 --> 00:11:28,370
kinds of tasks. They're very service oriented.

341
00:11:29,870 --> 00:11:31,950
I prefer my tasks to be part of

342
00:11:31,950 --> 00:11:34,509
my routine, something I'm doing consistently, maybe not

343
00:11:34,509 --> 00:11:36,750
every day, but in enough of a set

344
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,835
routine where I can remember that I need

345
00:11:38,835 --> 00:11:39,575
to do it.

346
00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:42,434
One task, it goes two tasks. It goes

347
00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:42,914
through the,

348
00:11:43,394 --> 00:11:46,355
obedience app. I bring him my collar to

349
00:11:46,355 --> 00:11:47,634
have it put on. I cannot sleep in

350
00:11:47,634 --> 00:11:49,794
my collar. Some people can. I cannot. Nothing

351
00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:50,534
can touch

352
00:11:50,914 --> 00:11:52,615
my neck. Oh, can't sleep.

353
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:56,089
And then I also fold our laundry.

354
00:11:56,470 --> 00:11:58,309
And the task of folding the laundry is

355
00:11:58,309 --> 00:11:59,129
really the,

356
00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:03,830
division of labor of the house is not

357
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,909
really about our power exchange. But when I

358
00:12:05,909 --> 00:12:07,934
get that laundry folded, that's about a power

359
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:08,434
exchange.

360
00:12:09,375 --> 00:12:11,295
Not that I fold it when I get

361
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:11,875
it folded.

362
00:12:12,335 --> 00:12:13,955
So those are my tasks.

363
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,615
But they're very yeah. They're they're household oriented.

364
00:12:17,615 --> 00:12:20,654
They're Mhmm. Beneficial for JB oriented, make his

365
00:12:20,654 --> 00:12:21,795
life a little easier,

366
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:23,690
that kind of thing.

367
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,809
Okay. Next question.

368
00:12:30,789 --> 00:12:32,789
What's the one piece of advice you wish

369
00:12:32,789 --> 00:12:35,269
you learned earlier into BDSM, and how did

370
00:12:35,269 --> 00:12:36,169
it change you?

371
00:12:40,365 --> 00:12:40,865
Goodness.

372
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:42,625
Wow. That's,

373
00:12:47,485 --> 00:12:49,565
I think the, the thing that shocked me

374
00:12:49,565 --> 00:12:50,545
the most Mhmm.

375
00:12:51,089 --> 00:12:53,750
That was the biggest game changer for me,

376
00:12:54,129 --> 00:12:54,870
that is

377
00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:57,190
real life BDSM,

378
00:12:58,769 --> 00:13:00,929
is not what you see in porn or

379
00:13:00,929 --> 00:13:03,975
in Tumblr or any of those places. No.

380
00:13:04,054 --> 00:13:06,214
You know? And and prior to that, pretty

381
00:13:06,214 --> 00:13:08,554
much, that's what I had seen Sure. Online.

382
00:13:09,495 --> 00:13:10,615
You know, even from,

383
00:13:11,894 --> 00:13:14,475
the old bulletin board rooms, chat rooms.

384
00:13:15,334 --> 00:13:16,559
Oh, sure. That kind of thing.

385
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:17,700
So,

386
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,480
you know, when when realized find you know,

387
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,120
when actually entering the community and finding out,

388
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,820
oh, it's really not like that.

389
00:13:25,519 --> 00:13:27,200
Not for more than a senior at a

390
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,440
time. Which actually was kind of okay with

391
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,995
me. Right. That could be very overwhelming for

392
00:13:31,995 --> 00:13:33,615
sure for sure. Because,

393
00:13:33,995 --> 00:13:35,195
you know, you see some of that stuff

394
00:13:35,195 --> 00:13:37,595
and like, I gotta live up to that?

395
00:13:37,595 --> 00:13:39,434
Right. I have to always be stern. I

396
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:40,794
have to always be on my knees. I

397
00:13:40,794 --> 00:13:41,934
can't you know?

398
00:13:42,394 --> 00:13:44,715
There there are folks who incorporate more of

399
00:13:44,715 --> 00:13:46,875
it into their daily lives than others. We

400
00:13:46,875 --> 00:13:48,070
are we we are very,

401
00:13:48,690 --> 00:13:49,190
relaxed.

402
00:13:50,929 --> 00:13:52,230
But there is everybody

403
00:13:52,929 --> 00:13:55,570
has their own limit of how much you

404
00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:56,549
can do it before

405
00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,090
the other parts of your lives kind of

406
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,870
seep in and have to take priority.

407
00:14:02,529 --> 00:14:02,769
We

408
00:14:03,464 --> 00:14:04,125
that's why we

409
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:08,264
function with our power exchange the way we

410
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,605
do where it's kind of baked in.

411
00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,464
There's not a lot of baby girl go

412
00:14:13,464 --> 00:14:15,144
do this because we're busy fucking people. So

413
00:14:15,144 --> 00:14:16,899
it's like, let me set expectations and let

414
00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,740
you go, and I'll come to you as

415
00:14:18,740 --> 00:14:19,240
needed.

416
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:22,120
And then we have certain, like, understandings

417
00:14:23,299 --> 00:14:24,740
between each other, like, how we'll speak to

418
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,419
one another and and how we address one

419
00:14:26,419 --> 00:14:28,019
another. But, like, the rest of it is

420
00:14:28,019 --> 00:14:29,940
just us living our life and and power

421
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:30,705
exchange is just,

422
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:34,465
like, woven through that instead of it being

423
00:14:34,465 --> 00:14:34,965
very

424
00:14:35,985 --> 00:14:37,825
prescriptive and this is how we live our

425
00:14:37,825 --> 00:14:38,945
lives and this is what we do when

426
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:40,705
we're in sub motor, dom mode and then,

427
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,625
and then somehow there's a break for the

428
00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:44,320
other parts of our lives. Well, not really.

429
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:46,480
Like, he's always daddy. He is always the

430
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:46,980
decider.

431
00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:49,519
And heaven help us, I'm always baby girl

432
00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:51,299
at my best and at my worst.

433
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,399
And I tend to be that kind of

434
00:14:54,399 --> 00:14:55,539
person that I

435
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:56,580
am

436
00:14:57,764 --> 00:15:00,964
naturally of service, air quote that, that's a

437
00:15:00,964 --> 00:15:01,945
subjective term,

438
00:15:02,804 --> 00:15:05,865
to whoever I love and care for. So

439
00:15:06,164 --> 00:15:08,004
too too much to the kids, I gotta

440
00:15:08,004 --> 00:15:09,870
back off with the youngest. And so it

441
00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:11,470
comes easy to me to do it for

442
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:13,230
him as part of our power exchange because

443
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:15,950
that's what I would be inclined to do

444
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:18,750
anyway. This is just negotiated and understood and

445
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,149
there's parameters and there's boundaries and blah blah

446
00:15:21,149 --> 00:15:21,649
blah.

447
00:15:22,590 --> 00:15:25,434
So, yeah, the real life v fantasy is,

448
00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:28,394
yeah. The the sooner folks can get that

449
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:29,914
in their head and then decide that actually

450
00:15:29,914 --> 00:15:30,574
real life

451
00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:32,334
is is good, actually,

452
00:15:32,794 --> 00:15:34,074
I think the better off most people would

453
00:15:34,074 --> 00:15:35,214
be. With me,

454
00:15:36,954 --> 00:15:37,534
I think

455
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:40,950
it's it's actually a life lesson less than

456
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:43,029
a a kink lesson, but it applies because

457
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:45,350
there's all of these things transfer across each

458
00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:45,850
other.

459
00:15:46,389 --> 00:15:48,409
And it is that the thing that you

460
00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:50,709
are doing today in your kink life and

461
00:15:50,709 --> 00:15:53,370
your power exchange that you love, the routine,

462
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,184
the protocols,

463
00:15:55,485 --> 00:15:58,285
the rules, the fuckery, the blip blip blip,

464
00:15:58,285 --> 00:15:58,785
whatever,

465
00:15:59,404 --> 00:16:01,884
it is meant to shift and change over

466
00:16:01,884 --> 00:16:04,705
time because everything in life shifts and change

467
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:07,184
changes. I used to get very torn up

468
00:16:07,325 --> 00:16:08,465
about the fact that

469
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:10,930
when we could no longer do a thing

470
00:16:10,930 --> 00:16:12,870
that that's how we had done it for

471
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:14,309
months or years.

472
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,690
I would have this sort of internal, like,

473
00:16:16,690 --> 00:16:18,210
is there something wrong with me that we

474
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:20,870
can no longer no. It's that life shifted.

475
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:22,710
We shifted health,

476
00:16:23,225 --> 00:16:26,504
money, kid like, whatever whatever. And your power

477
00:16:26,504 --> 00:16:28,985
exchange and your kink life adjusts to your

478
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:31,384
reality. If you are trying to force that

479
00:16:31,384 --> 00:16:33,384
round peg into that square hole and it's

480
00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:34,904
not a good fit anymore, I mean, it

481
00:16:34,904 --> 00:16:36,410
could be kinky, but that's, you know

482
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:40,410
and it's not happening is what I'm saying.

483
00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:42,570
You just made yourself miserable, and you're not

484
00:16:42,570 --> 00:16:44,490
actually living the kink life that you love

485
00:16:44,490 --> 00:16:46,490
even though that routine you had, that thing

486
00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:48,490
you did was what you loved. Now, you

487
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:50,414
know, the moment I kind of wrapped my

488
00:16:50,414 --> 00:16:52,014
head around it and got comfortable with the

489
00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:53,534
fact that, no, this is how this is

490
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,214
supposed to go because this is how life

491
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:55,714
goes.

492
00:16:56,495 --> 00:17:00,034
Nothing bad lasts forever. Nothing good lasts forever.

493
00:17:00,095 --> 00:17:02,115
It's just a constant shift.

494
00:17:02,495 --> 00:17:04,335
I became much more relaxed about it and

495
00:17:04,335 --> 00:17:06,250
just, you know, understood, okay, this is part

496
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,589
of the process. I mean, did we get

497
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,210
a what's the word I want?

498
00:17:11,529 --> 00:17:12,670
A crash course,

499
00:17:13,289 --> 00:17:15,369
from going from long distance to moving in.

500
00:17:15,369 --> 00:17:15,869
Mhmm.

501
00:17:16,250 --> 00:17:17,769
Oh, yeah. That was a That was a

502
00:17:17,769 --> 00:17:20,444
managing expectations thing more than a life adjustment

503
00:17:20,605 --> 00:17:22,284
because we thought we had planned for the

504
00:17:22,284 --> 00:17:24,524
life adjustment, and then life lifed, and we

505
00:17:24,524 --> 00:17:25,424
had to readjust.

506
00:17:25,804 --> 00:17:28,044
But over from that point, 2014, we moved

507
00:17:28,044 --> 00:17:28,704
in together,

508
00:17:29,244 --> 00:17:30,464
you know, pretty

509
00:17:31,325 --> 00:17:33,484
cyclically. I won't say consistently, but there's sort

510
00:17:33,484 --> 00:17:35,819
of a cycle of things that we, over

511
00:17:35,819 --> 00:17:37,179
time, shift a little bit, shift a little

512
00:17:37,179 --> 00:17:38,880
bit. My main tasks

513
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,039
have not shifted that much.

514
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,319
Do the coffee.

515
00:17:42,619 --> 00:17:44,619
Mhmm. Maybe the way I make the coffee

516
00:17:44,619 --> 00:17:46,880
has changed when I do it. Certain like,

517
00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:49,134
those that's I think I I had get

518
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:51,295
a lot of comfort for that because that

519
00:17:51,295 --> 00:17:52,275
has been consistent

520
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,734
over the years. But how quickly I do

521
00:17:54,734 --> 00:17:56,194
it, the way I do it,

522
00:17:56,815 --> 00:17:59,134
your expectations of it, what we've added, what

523
00:17:59,134 --> 00:18:00,894
we've taken away Mhmm. Those are the shifts

524
00:18:00,894 --> 00:18:02,115
I'm talking about. So

525
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:02,894
the

526
00:18:03,694 --> 00:18:04,355
I think

527
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:07,769
that allowed me to relax and to understand,

528
00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:08,890
okay,

529
00:18:09,269 --> 00:18:11,349
the shifting of how we're gonna do things,

530
00:18:11,349 --> 00:18:14,710
the the easing back of some things, the

531
00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:15,210
the

532
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:18,650
strengthening of others, that is absolutely normal.

533
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,644
It's gonna happen. I have not failed. The

534
00:18:21,644 --> 00:18:23,105
power exchange is not failing.

535
00:18:23,804 --> 00:18:26,285
We're just this is life, and it happens

536
00:18:26,285 --> 00:18:28,765
to all parts of our life, including our

537
00:18:28,765 --> 00:18:29,505
our DS.

538
00:18:30,285 --> 00:18:33,804
Okay. Next one. It feels impossible to date

539
00:18:33,804 --> 00:18:35,700
as a fat kinky femme.

540
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,500
Advice.

541
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:41,759
I wouldn't know where to begin. Well I've

542
00:18:41,759 --> 00:18:42,159
been so

543
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,119
Yeah. I mean, you are I I look

544
00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:46,500
to you though because you appreciate

545
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,894
fat kinky femmes. Like, you you love you

546
00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:52,515
a big girl and not in a fetishizing

547
00:18:52,654 --> 00:18:54,575
way like you you just want something to

548
00:18:54,575 --> 00:18:56,575
be able to hold on to. And I

549
00:18:56,575 --> 00:18:57,075
appreciate

550
00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,855
that. I'm a give you so much to

551
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:01,075
hold on to. I

552
00:19:01,625 --> 00:19:04,309
I find it attractive. I like it. It's

553
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:07,690
whatever I like. I know. I'm just saying

554
00:19:08,869 --> 00:19:10,009
from that perspective,

555
00:19:11,909 --> 00:19:14,505
you know Yeah. Do you have any, like,

556
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:17,704
as as to being the person who would

557
00:19:17,704 --> 00:19:18,845
be the partner of

558
00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:22,184
a a fat kicking femme of the connection

559
00:19:22,184 --> 00:19:23,625
of the coming together. See, I don't you

560
00:19:23,625 --> 00:19:25,065
know, I don't even think about it in

561
00:19:25,065 --> 00:19:27,980
those kind of terms. Mhmm. You know, for

562
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,639
for me, it comes down to things like,

563
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:32,000
personality.

564
00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:33,599
Right. Yeah. You know,

565
00:19:34,059 --> 00:19:35,440
what kind of moral compass

566
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:38,799
Sure. The person has, sense of humor. Right.

567
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,960
You know, and and of course, hygiene,

568
00:19:41,419 --> 00:19:43,904
you know, but We do appreciate hygiene. Yeah.

569
00:19:43,904 --> 00:19:46,144
Yeah. But I mean, things like that I

570
00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:47,284
know. You is what

571
00:19:47,744 --> 00:19:49,904
makes the person Right. And I and I

572
00:19:49,904 --> 00:19:50,724
think for

573
00:19:51,105 --> 00:19:52,484
if you and whatever

574
00:19:53,424 --> 00:19:54,565
body you're in

575
00:19:54,865 --> 00:19:55,365
or

576
00:19:55,825 --> 00:19:57,660
may you know, for folks who maybe, like,

577
00:19:57,740 --> 00:20:00,619
have a physical disability or whatever whatever whatever.

578
00:20:00,619 --> 00:20:01,920
Right? That makes you

579
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,380
feel like you can't find a partner. The

580
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:05,660
first thing I want you to look at

581
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:08,059
is who are you surrounded by? Mhmm. Are

582
00:20:08,059 --> 00:20:09,900
you part of an online or in person

583
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:10,940
community that,

584
00:20:11,734 --> 00:20:13,595
is kind of homogeneous and everybody

585
00:20:13,894 --> 00:20:15,654
looks the same and maybe they don't look

586
00:20:15,654 --> 00:20:17,755
like you or they are kind of similar

587
00:20:17,815 --> 00:20:19,815
and you do not fit into that group?

588
00:20:19,815 --> 00:20:21,335
Well, now it's time to, like we gotta

589
00:20:21,335 --> 00:20:22,695
change our friend group. We gotta change our

590
00:20:22,695 --> 00:20:24,855
community. We gotta go go be where we

591
00:20:24,855 --> 00:20:26,809
are accepted as who we are.

592
00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:29,769
You know, the

593
00:20:31,190 --> 00:20:34,309
the sad state of affairs is the stuff

594
00:20:34,309 --> 00:20:36,330
that I've I've joked about this before,

595
00:20:36,710 --> 00:20:38,090
because I tend to

596
00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:40,250
fall into a vanilla heterosexual

597
00:20:40,694 --> 00:20:43,194
algorithm every once in a while. And it's

598
00:20:44,214 --> 00:20:46,315
sad state of affairs of the dating world

599
00:20:46,855 --> 00:20:48,554
these days. Oh my god.

600
00:20:49,174 --> 00:20:51,255
But kinksters are just a cross section of

601
00:20:51,255 --> 00:20:51,755
humanity.

602
00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:52,714
We

603
00:20:53,015 --> 00:20:55,494
tend to handle some things better, but we

604
00:20:55,494 --> 00:20:57,830
are still people. And so there are still

605
00:20:58,289 --> 00:21:00,369
you know, we would call them sometimes a

606
00:21:00,369 --> 00:21:01,670
fake dom or, like,

607
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:04,849
a bad sub, I mean, of any gender

608
00:21:04,849 --> 00:21:07,009
of any who whatever. But there are those

609
00:21:07,009 --> 00:21:10,204
people regardless of gender who are shitty.

610
00:21:10,585 --> 00:21:13,144
They are not real with you. They are

611
00:21:13,224 --> 00:21:15,464
they're used they'll use people for as long

612
00:21:15,464 --> 00:21:17,804
as they can. They won't commit or they'll

613
00:21:18,105 --> 00:21:20,505
ghost or they'll gaslight or whatever. They're out

614
00:21:20,505 --> 00:21:21,630
for themselves. They're not actually

615
00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:25,549
trying to make a genuine connection. And, you

616
00:21:25,549 --> 00:21:27,890
know, that will always exist somewhere.

617
00:21:28,910 --> 00:21:31,869
So if you find yourself in a space

618
00:21:31,869 --> 00:21:33,869
where there are not others like you, there

619
00:21:33,869 --> 00:21:35,825
are not others who are into

620
00:21:36,284 --> 00:21:38,865
you, can can you shift your space? Right?

621
00:21:39,244 --> 00:21:39,904
Is it,

622
00:21:40,924 --> 00:21:42,605
is it the munch? We have walked into

623
00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:45,325
munches where we're like, we do not feel

624
00:21:45,325 --> 00:21:46,845
like we fit in, and also we're not

625
00:21:46,845 --> 00:21:48,329
being made welcome. Well, it's real hard to

626
00:21:48,329 --> 00:21:49,789
meet people if you're

627
00:21:50,089 --> 00:21:51,470
in a space like that.

628
00:21:53,049 --> 00:21:53,950
There are

629
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:57,130
sort of micro communities for almost any and

630
00:21:57,130 --> 00:22:00,809
all identities. I'm sure within the BDSM community

631
00:22:00,809 --> 00:22:03,534
as well, FetLife can can be a place

632
00:22:03,534 --> 00:22:05,694
where, you know, you have to have to

633
00:22:05,694 --> 00:22:08,414
sift through a lot of crap. But there

634
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:11,315
can be those spaces where Fet's not really

635
00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:13,615
a a dating site, but people have met

636
00:22:13,615 --> 00:22:15,694
through there. Right. And it's where you can,

637
00:22:15,694 --> 00:22:18,039
you know, find a community. Because our thing

638
00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:20,220
is, and we will preach it forever,

639
00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,599
is we think and I don't care what

640
00:22:22,599 --> 00:22:24,679
kind of power exchange kink relationship you're trying

641
00:22:24,679 --> 00:22:26,380
to have with somebody. Even casual,

642
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,545
I think on some level you should like

643
00:22:29,545 --> 00:22:31,625
that person as a human before you worry

644
00:22:31,625 --> 00:22:34,025
about liking them as a kinkster. Right? And

645
00:22:34,025 --> 00:22:35,705
they and in return they should like you

646
00:22:35,705 --> 00:22:37,565
as a person before, you know,

647
00:22:38,265 --> 00:22:39,485
the kink thing. Right?

648
00:22:40,904 --> 00:22:41,404
And

649
00:22:41,705 --> 00:22:42,605
that's the thing.

650
00:22:43,065 --> 00:22:44,849
See if you can find spaces spaces for

651
00:22:44,849 --> 00:22:47,170
yourself where you can just become friends with

652
00:22:47,170 --> 00:22:49,170
people. Or maybe even the pressure is off

653
00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:51,029
to try and meet a partner, and

654
00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:53,809
you become friends with somebody. Maybe it becomes

655
00:22:53,809 --> 00:22:56,049
more, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they introduce you

656
00:22:56,049 --> 00:22:57,650
to other kinky people, and now you've made

657
00:22:57,650 --> 00:22:59,805
connections. Maybe they invite you to the party,

658
00:22:59,805 --> 00:23:01,404
and you meet the love of your life

659
00:23:01,404 --> 00:23:02,285
there. Like, I don't

660
00:23:02,845 --> 00:23:05,184
there's no predicting it. You know?

661
00:23:06,445 --> 00:23:06,945
But

662
00:23:07,404 --> 00:23:07,904
that

663
00:23:09,725 --> 00:23:11,965
that is there's no single site I can

664
00:23:11,965 --> 00:23:13,325
tell you to go to. I don't know

665
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:14,545
of any that are, like,

666
00:23:15,130 --> 00:23:16,589
made for, you know,

667
00:23:17,849 --> 00:23:18,669
any specific

668
00:23:18,970 --> 00:23:20,250
group. I'm sure they're out there. I just

669
00:23:20,250 --> 00:23:22,329
don't know about them. Typically, the kink sites

670
00:23:22,329 --> 00:23:24,089
are the kink sites or the places that

671
00:23:24,089 --> 00:23:25,929
allow you to be openly kinky and find

672
00:23:25,929 --> 00:23:26,509
a partner.

673
00:23:26,890 --> 00:23:29,216
You know, they're there and then it's hard

674
00:23:29,216 --> 00:23:32,015
to, like, niche down. Right? But be with

675
00:23:32,015 --> 00:23:34,502
people who appreciate you regardless of the relationship

676
00:23:34,502 --> 00:23:36,990
thing. Quite frankly, if you are, you know,

677
00:23:36,990 --> 00:23:39,479
kind of, like, feeling like it's impossible to

678
00:23:39,479 --> 00:23:41,967
date, maybe don't date for a while. Maybe

679
00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:42,900
it'd be like,

680
00:23:43,619 --> 00:23:44,359
I will

681
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:46,339
whatever it is I need that I'm not

682
00:23:46,339 --> 00:23:47,779
getting, how can else can I get it?

683
00:23:47,779 --> 00:23:49,779
And I'm gonna not not worry about dating

684
00:23:49,779 --> 00:23:51,859
until I'm in a community or I make

685
00:23:51,859 --> 00:23:53,700
a friend or I'm, like, connected to somebody

686
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:55,619
in some way that sees me for who

687
00:23:55,619 --> 00:23:57,480
I am not just for the body type.

688
00:23:57,494 --> 00:23:58,154
But also,

689
00:23:59,174 --> 00:24:01,734
the people who love a fat body and

690
00:24:01,734 --> 00:24:04,055
not in the fetishizing, like, creepy way, they

691
00:24:04,055 --> 00:24:07,355
are a 100% out there. Mhmm. Apparently, according

692
00:24:08,454 --> 00:24:09,355
to the algorithm,

693
00:24:09,654 --> 00:24:11,839
they're all at the gym. Like, apparently, the

694
00:24:11,839 --> 00:24:12,579
the muscle

695
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,599
dude bros, like, love them a a chunky

696
00:24:15,599 --> 00:24:17,839
partner. Okay. And I'm like, well, apparently, I

697
00:24:17,839 --> 00:24:19,200
need to go to the gym more to

698
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,200
just, like, stand around. You're right. I I

699
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,220
did hear something. And that is the stereotype.

700
00:24:24,079 --> 00:24:24,579
And

701
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,035
of course, that's not universally

702
00:24:27,575 --> 00:24:28,555
true. But

703
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:30,634
so, yeah, I think if, you know,

704
00:24:31,414 --> 00:24:33,575
you're sort of, like, feeling like it's impossible,

705
00:24:33,575 --> 00:24:35,174
take a break from it. Yeah. Go live

706
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:36,795
your best life in other ways

707
00:24:37,174 --> 00:24:39,835
and, you know, find a community that's not

708
00:24:40,799 --> 00:24:41,299
necessarily

709
00:24:41,759 --> 00:24:44,720
about dating. It's just about, like, chilling with

710
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,579
cool people who happen to also be kinky.

711
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,279
This one this one. I feel this one.

712
00:24:51,279 --> 00:24:53,625
Next question. How to overcome my fears and

713
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,244
give my trust completely?

714
00:24:56,984 --> 00:24:58,265
I think the first thing I would say

715
00:24:58,265 --> 00:24:58,765
is,

716
00:25:00,025 --> 00:25:02,525
trust, even as you grant it to somebody,

717
00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:05,085
you're not granting them complete and total trust

718
00:25:05,305 --> 00:25:07,720
the moment you decide to trust them. It

719
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,339
is a bits and pieces

720
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:11,259
thing that grows over time.

721
00:25:12,039 --> 00:25:13,559
What I would say is you have to

722
00:25:13,559 --> 00:25:15,399
make the first leap of faith

723
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,839
Mhmm. To not actually overcome a fear, to

724
00:25:18,839 --> 00:25:20,759
move through the fear with a little bit

725
00:25:20,759 --> 00:25:22,380
of trust. Maybe that is

726
00:25:22,684 --> 00:25:24,765
you'll do the small kink thing with them.

727
00:25:24,765 --> 00:25:27,404
You'll tell them one thing and you kind

728
00:25:27,404 --> 00:25:29,164
of put that feeler out there where you're

729
00:25:29,164 --> 00:25:32,444
extending trust, right, even though you're nervous and

730
00:25:32,444 --> 00:25:35,005
then it's their job to show you, to

731
00:25:35,005 --> 00:25:37,325
prove to you, that you can continue to

732
00:25:37,325 --> 00:25:38,430
extend that trust.

733
00:25:39,470 --> 00:25:41,150
And that takes as long as it takes.

734
00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:42,910
That goes as slowly as it goes. You

735
00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:45,789
give as much Mhmm. Trust and work through

736
00:25:45,789 --> 00:25:47,890
that fear to the extent that you can.

737
00:25:48,029 --> 00:25:49,549
And if they are a person worthy of

738
00:25:49,549 --> 00:25:51,070
that, they will do the things that allow

739
00:25:51,070 --> 00:25:53,825
you to grow more comfortable and to trust

740
00:25:53,825 --> 00:25:55,744
more and more Yeah. So that you can

741
00:25:55,744 --> 00:25:57,265
continue doing that. Yeah. Because I don't, you

742
00:25:57,265 --> 00:25:59,125
know, I don't think trust is something that

743
00:25:59,505 --> 00:26:00,325
is just

744
00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:02,304
giving you, like, okay, here it is. You

745
00:26:02,304 --> 00:26:03,984
got it all. It's no no more to

746
00:26:03,984 --> 00:26:04,884
give. Right.

747
00:26:05,529 --> 00:26:06,190
You know,

748
00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:07,690
you we're still

749
00:26:08,009 --> 00:26:10,349
Mhmm. All after all these years,

750
00:26:10,890 --> 00:26:12,990
that is still something that is

751
00:26:13,289 --> 00:26:15,529
going on. I don't think it ever it

752
00:26:15,609 --> 00:26:17,769
it's something that grows and evolves and it

753
00:26:17,849 --> 00:26:19,845
you know, it's all part of that. Mhmm.

754
00:26:19,845 --> 00:26:21,464
You know, like you said earlier,

755
00:26:21,845 --> 00:26:22,505
you know,

756
00:26:23,045 --> 00:26:25,125
nothing we have looks like what it did

757
00:26:25,125 --> 00:26:27,444
before. It's something different. And it's the same

758
00:26:27,444 --> 00:26:29,525
thing with the trust. That is something that's

759
00:26:29,525 --> 00:26:32,644
gradually given over time and it just Right.

760
00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:33,210
Peeps.

761
00:26:33,529 --> 00:26:35,929
Right. There's not a you're talking to somebody,

762
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:37,130
you're getting to know them, and one day

763
00:26:37,130 --> 00:26:38,809
you just go, okay. I'm not afraid anymore

764
00:26:38,809 --> 00:26:40,890
and I trust them completely. Let's do that's

765
00:26:40,970 --> 00:26:43,450
nope. Yeah. From the vast majority of us,

766
00:26:43,450 --> 00:26:45,289
that's not how it's gonna work. You're gonna

767
00:26:45,289 --> 00:26:46,649
have to you're gonna have to do something

768
00:26:46,649 --> 00:26:48,169
and be nervous about it while you do

769
00:26:48,169 --> 00:26:49,964
it. Yeah. But it the way I always

770
00:26:49,964 --> 00:26:51,244
do it because I have such trust issues

771
00:26:51,244 --> 00:26:52,684
is I do a thing that I would

772
00:26:52,684 --> 00:26:55,164
be disappointed if they broke my trust. I

773
00:26:55,164 --> 00:26:56,305
would be sad

774
00:26:56,924 --> 00:26:59,105
but I don't feel like I would be

775
00:26:59,884 --> 00:27:01,424
crushed or harmed.

776
00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:05,289
That's how slow and small we're talking. Mhmm.

777
00:27:05,289 --> 00:27:06,490
And they need to prove to you. And

778
00:27:06,490 --> 00:27:07,690
what I mean by prove to you, it's

779
00:27:07,690 --> 00:27:09,309
real easy for for,

780
00:27:10,009 --> 00:27:13,710
predatory people and wannabes and users and abusers

781
00:27:14,089 --> 00:27:16,349
to say the right things. Mhmm.

782
00:27:17,204 --> 00:27:19,845
But they will unless that unless they're one

783
00:27:19,845 --> 00:27:21,285
of those just, oh my god people and

784
00:27:21,285 --> 00:27:23,765
those are the exceptions, but there are people

785
00:27:23,765 --> 00:27:25,605
who are super extreme. That's what I'm talking

786
00:27:25,605 --> 00:27:27,065
about. Your average everyday

787
00:27:27,365 --> 00:27:28,664
Joe Schmo. Right?

788
00:27:29,044 --> 00:27:30,964
They're gonna trip up. They're not gonna be

789
00:27:30,964 --> 00:27:31,464
consistent

790
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,819
or they're not gonna come across as sincere

791
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,420
and you're gonna get a feeling like, is

792
00:27:35,420 --> 00:27:37,259
that actually real? I don't know if I

793
00:27:37,259 --> 00:27:39,740
buy it. Like, there's gonna be something that

794
00:27:39,740 --> 00:27:41,819
kind of can clue you in when they're

795
00:27:41,819 --> 00:27:43,785
not being consistent. So that's what you're looking

796
00:27:43,785 --> 00:27:45,144
for. It's not what they do one time.

797
00:27:45,144 --> 00:27:46,505
It's what they do over and over and

798
00:27:46,505 --> 00:27:47,244
over again

799
00:27:47,545 --> 00:27:48,045
consistently

800
00:27:48,424 --> 00:27:49,724
Mhmm. In a pattern.

801
00:27:50,105 --> 00:27:51,705
And that's when you know that they are

802
00:27:51,705 --> 00:27:53,644
somebody that you can continue

803
00:27:53,945 --> 00:27:56,605
to develop trust with. Right. And and also,

804
00:27:56,825 --> 00:27:58,684
you know, on on the big d side,

805
00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:00,809
they gotta be patient.

806
00:28:01,509 --> 00:28:03,909
Yeah. Everybody's gotta be patient unless it's through

807
00:28:03,909 --> 00:28:06,069
real. You know, especially early on in the

808
00:28:06,069 --> 00:28:07,669
beginning, it's not something you can just, you

809
00:28:07,669 --> 00:28:10,950
know, drag out of somebody. Right. Right. If,

810
00:28:10,950 --> 00:28:11,684
you know,

811
00:28:12,085 --> 00:28:15,125
if you are in either side, but, yes,

812
00:28:15,125 --> 00:28:17,205
specific to to dominance. If you're a dominant

813
00:28:17,205 --> 00:28:18,265
and you are,

814
00:28:18,805 --> 00:28:19,465
you know,

815
00:28:19,845 --> 00:28:22,565
getting together, getting to know this submissive partner

816
00:28:22,565 --> 00:28:24,485
and you know they're afraid, you know they

817
00:28:24,485 --> 00:28:25,900
have trust issues. I was very open with

818
00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:27,180
it. I don't trust no damn body and

819
00:28:27,180 --> 00:28:29,420
I'm terrified. I've I've too much pain too

820
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:31,599
like, I don't know. You know?

821
00:28:32,299 --> 00:28:34,619
It is your job to prove that you

822
00:28:34,619 --> 00:28:36,940
are a person that they can trust. You

823
00:28:36,940 --> 00:28:38,539
know? If if that's who you want to

824
00:28:38,539 --> 00:28:40,140
be with them, if you want to develop

825
00:28:40,140 --> 00:28:40,605
wherever

826
00:28:42,605 --> 00:28:44,311
this is going, whatever this is, you know,

827
00:28:44,311 --> 00:28:46,444
that that's your job. Be consistent. Be real.

828
00:28:46,444 --> 00:28:48,525
Be who the fuck you are. Yeah. Oh,

829
00:28:48,525 --> 00:28:51,404
yeah. But also, even if you realize that

830
00:28:51,404 --> 00:28:52,224
there's a,

831
00:28:52,924 --> 00:28:53,424
incompatibility

832
00:28:53,724 --> 00:28:56,250
or this is not gonna work, still, like,

833
00:28:56,730 --> 00:28:58,410
hold their trust sacred. Like they're gonna be

834
00:28:58,410 --> 00:29:00,250
vulnerable with you, potential partner. They're gonna you

835
00:29:00,250 --> 00:29:02,269
know, there's gonna be intimacies between you.

836
00:29:02,650 --> 00:29:04,730
You know, treat that as the sacred thing

837
00:29:04,730 --> 00:29:05,630
that it is.

838
00:29:05,930 --> 00:29:06,430
Now

839
00:29:06,809 --> 00:29:07,309
submissives,

840
00:29:08,345 --> 00:29:09,865
your doms get to do that with you

841
00:29:09,865 --> 00:29:11,704
too. They're gonna be vulnerable. They're gonna tell

842
00:29:11,704 --> 00:29:12,825
you stuff. They're gonna have to learn to

843
00:29:12,825 --> 00:29:13,724
trust you.

844
00:29:14,184 --> 00:29:15,964
Be a person they can trust.

845
00:29:16,265 --> 00:29:16,765
Mhmm.

846
00:29:19,704 --> 00:29:20,309
So yeah.

847
00:29:21,509 --> 00:29:22,009
Okay.

848
00:29:22,309 --> 00:29:23,850
Next one. This one's interesting.

849
00:29:24,950 --> 00:29:26,549
Because I can't imagine it even though I

850
00:29:26,549 --> 00:29:28,150
have a shitty memory. Because this is not

851
00:29:28,150 --> 00:29:29,910
a thing that I would forget. But it's

852
00:29:29,910 --> 00:29:30,410
interesting.

853
00:29:30,789 --> 00:29:33,990
My sub keeps forgetting the title we've chosen.

854
00:29:33,990 --> 00:29:36,045
They use it about 50% of the time.

855
00:29:36,365 --> 00:29:38,065
How do I remind them?

856
00:29:39,085 --> 00:29:39,585
Oh.

857
00:29:40,605 --> 00:29:41,825
My first thought is,

858
00:29:42,205 --> 00:29:45,164
does that title resonate with them? Mhmm. That

859
00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:46,924
because if it doesn't resonate, that could be

860
00:29:46,924 --> 00:29:47,825
part of the problem.

861
00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:49,849
The other thing is do they have memory

862
00:29:49,849 --> 00:29:51,529
issues in all other parts of their life?

863
00:29:51,529 --> 00:29:53,130
Because if that's the case, then it's not

864
00:29:53,130 --> 00:29:54,730
about the title. It's just they got a

865
00:29:54,730 --> 00:29:55,950
memory thing, and now

866
00:29:56,569 --> 00:29:58,809
you'll need tricks for that. But when I

867
00:29:58,809 --> 00:30:01,150
forget something or when you've dealt with something

868
00:30:01,369 --> 00:30:03,289
similar in the past, like, what is your

869
00:30:03,289 --> 00:30:04,565
method for Well, and

870
00:30:05,664 --> 00:30:06,164
that

871
00:30:08,224 --> 00:30:10,384
years and years ago I did for some

872
00:30:10,384 --> 00:30:11,044
reason I had

873
00:30:13,264 --> 00:30:13,764
trouble

874
00:30:14,304 --> 00:30:16,440
remembering certain words. Mhmm.

875
00:30:17,639 --> 00:30:19,819
Okay? When I first picked up a camera

876
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:21,419
when I was young,

877
00:30:22,599 --> 00:30:23,099
and

878
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,339
I got a polarizing lens,

879
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,079
I could not for the life of me

880
00:30:29,079 --> 00:30:29,579
remember

881
00:30:30,315 --> 00:30:32,875
polarizing. Mhmm. Mhmm. K? What the stupid thing

882
00:30:32,875 --> 00:30:33,534
was called.

883
00:30:34,794 --> 00:30:35,855
The way I

884
00:30:37,115 --> 00:30:40,474
ended up remembering it Mhmm. Was I thought

885
00:30:40,474 --> 00:30:42,335
of, okay, what's close to polarizing?

886
00:30:43,274 --> 00:30:43,774
Polaroid.

887
00:30:44,315 --> 00:30:46,509
Mhmm. Mhmm. So I had the first half,

888
00:30:46,509 --> 00:30:48,190
and then it led into the rest of

889
00:30:48,190 --> 00:30:49,470
the word from there first. Is that a

890
00:30:49,470 --> 00:30:50,609
mnemonic device?

891
00:30:50,910 --> 00:30:53,230
Or is that a mnemonic device adjacent there?

892
00:30:53,230 --> 00:30:54,750
I don't yeah. There's There's a term for

893
00:30:54,750 --> 00:30:56,670
making connections like that Right. And I can't

894
00:30:56,670 --> 00:30:57,869
remember. And I I don't know what it

895
00:30:57,869 --> 00:31:00,375
is anymore either. I've heard of it, but

896
00:31:00,375 --> 00:31:01,434
that's what I

897
00:31:01,974 --> 00:31:03,115
had done. Mhmm.

898
00:31:03,734 --> 00:31:06,375
And through throughout, anytime I found a word

899
00:31:06,375 --> 00:31:08,775
that I had trouble Mhmm. I create, you

900
00:31:08,775 --> 00:31:09,755
know Sure.

901
00:31:11,095 --> 00:31:12,630
A companion word, so to speak. Yes. Absolutely.

902
00:31:12,630 --> 00:31:12,674
And that that's a great memory trick in

903
00:31:12,674 --> 00:31:14,580
general. So if we're talking about Absolutely. And

904
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:17,112
that that's a great memory trick in general.

905
00:31:17,112 --> 00:31:18,320
So if we're talking about this just a

906
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,500
memory issue, then I would be looking up

907
00:31:20,799 --> 00:31:22,340
different tricks and,

908
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,920
things to try and tools for how to

909
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:27,920
help somebody, you know, retain a memory like

910
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:28,244
that.

911
00:31:28,724 --> 00:31:31,204
Yeah. That being said, it depends on your

912
00:31:31,204 --> 00:31:33,045
dynamic, but there's not a damn thing wrong

913
00:31:33,045 --> 00:31:35,384
with leaning into your dynamic.

914
00:31:36,005 --> 00:31:38,565
If, you know, there are consequences as part

915
00:31:38,565 --> 00:31:40,184
of your power exchange,

916
00:31:40,805 --> 00:31:42,250
I I would not make it an overly

917
00:31:42,250 --> 00:31:43,309
serious consequence,

918
00:31:43,930 --> 00:31:46,029
but I would, you know, if they

919
00:31:46,410 --> 00:31:48,509
are if they're trying to avoid consequence,

920
00:31:49,769 --> 00:31:50,750
maybe do that.

921
00:31:51,130 --> 00:31:52,430
If there's any,

922
00:31:53,049 --> 00:31:53,549
willingness

923
00:31:54,009 --> 00:31:55,390
and also, like,

924
00:31:56,250 --> 00:31:58,325
you know, when JB wants me to never

925
00:31:58,464 --> 00:31:59,984
act a certain way again, he'll have me

926
00:31:59,984 --> 00:32:02,464
write lines. Now that's not for everybody. Mhmm.

927
00:32:02,464 --> 00:32:04,065
But that is just an example of Yeah.

928
00:32:04,224 --> 00:32:05,765
Within our caregiver

929
00:32:06,464 --> 00:32:09,105
baby girl dynamic, that works. So I would

930
00:32:09,105 --> 00:32:11,025
lean into your dynamic of Right. How do

931
00:32:11,025 --> 00:32:13,600
you discipline or how do you maintain discipline

932
00:32:13,980 --> 00:32:15,440
or what, if any, consequences

933
00:32:16,299 --> 00:32:17,360
exist for when

934
00:32:17,900 --> 00:32:19,840
a submissive kinda, like, oopsies?

935
00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:21,660
And then Is there something you can do

936
00:32:21,660 --> 00:32:23,019
there to help with the memory? On on

937
00:32:23,019 --> 00:32:25,340
the opposite side of that, know your know

938
00:32:25,340 --> 00:32:26,480
your sub,

939
00:32:26,934 --> 00:32:28,875
and do they respond better to

940
00:32:30,855 --> 00:32:33,095
positive reinforcement? Thank you. Mhmm. I knew where

941
00:32:33,095 --> 00:32:34,154
you're going. Yeah.

942
00:32:35,095 --> 00:32:37,654
You know, if that's something that they respond

943
00:32:37,654 --> 00:32:38,154
to,

944
00:32:38,615 --> 00:32:41,414
then, you know Reward. Reward. When they get

945
00:32:41,414 --> 00:32:43,250
it right. Mhmm. You know? I think the

946
00:32:43,250 --> 00:32:44,929
first thing I would double check, if you

947
00:32:44,929 --> 00:32:46,769
know it's not like a they remember nothing

948
00:32:46,769 --> 00:32:48,289
and they struggle with their memory Mhmm. I

949
00:32:48,289 --> 00:32:50,130
would make sure that the title resonates with

950
00:32:50,130 --> 00:32:50,630
them.

951
00:32:51,089 --> 00:32:54,130
Or or check this. Are they trying to

952
00:32:54,130 --> 00:32:54,789
be punished?

953
00:32:56,134 --> 00:32:58,615
Are they, like, low key bratting and there's

954
00:32:58,615 --> 00:33:00,394
not been a conversation about bratting?

955
00:33:01,414 --> 00:33:03,894
You know, I would I if it's not

956
00:33:03,894 --> 00:33:05,654
just a memory thing, see if you can

957
00:33:05,654 --> 00:33:06,634
get to the motivation.

958
00:33:07,095 --> 00:33:09,329
Yeah. If there's a motivation. Right? Like, is

959
00:33:09,329 --> 00:33:12,210
there a mental block? Is there Mhmm. Like,

960
00:33:12,210 --> 00:33:13,649
I'm trying to I'm trying to get under

961
00:33:13,649 --> 00:33:15,490
your skin and make something happen. If it's

962
00:33:15,490 --> 00:33:16,230
not that,

963
00:33:17,169 --> 00:33:19,029
I'd lean into your power exchange of however

964
00:33:19,250 --> 00:33:21,569
y'all handle when they don't do what they're

965
00:33:21,569 --> 00:33:22,964
supposed to do in other ways.

966
00:33:23,765 --> 00:33:26,325
Again, I would not I personally would not

967
00:33:26,325 --> 00:33:28,825
recommend coming down too hard for memory lapses.

968
00:33:29,684 --> 00:33:31,605
You don't wanna make somebody afraid to say

969
00:33:31,605 --> 00:33:32,664
something either,

970
00:33:33,125 --> 00:33:33,625
but

971
00:33:34,244 --> 00:33:36,964
there's, you know, probably something there Mhmm. That,

972
00:33:36,964 --> 00:33:39,099
you know, can help them remember a little

973
00:33:39,099 --> 00:33:40,940
bit. But it does depend on y'all's dynamic

974
00:33:40,940 --> 00:33:43,179
and what kind of Yeah. You know, what

975
00:33:43,179 --> 00:33:44,460
kind of sub they are, what kind of

976
00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:46,059
dom you are, all of that, all of

977
00:33:46,059 --> 00:33:49,099
that. Mhmm. Okay. This one this one's for

978
00:33:49,099 --> 00:33:50,079
you. Uh-oh.

979
00:33:51,664 --> 00:33:53,284
Because on a smaller scale,

980
00:33:53,585 --> 00:33:54,724
we've had this moment.

981
00:33:55,265 --> 00:33:59,105
How can I, five two, continue feeling dominant

982
00:33:59,105 --> 00:34:01,265
when my sub is a lot bigger and

983
00:34:01,265 --> 00:34:03,365
taller than me, six seven?

984
00:34:03,890 --> 00:34:05,650
Well, you need to climb that person like

985
00:34:05,650 --> 00:34:08,070
a tree. That way, I know it's fine.

986
00:34:08,369 --> 00:34:10,610
Sorry. I'm having my own moment. I've been

987
00:34:10,610 --> 00:34:11,910
reading too much smut.

988
00:34:12,449 --> 00:34:14,210
I don't wanna assume there's even sex in

989
00:34:14,210 --> 00:34:16,130
your dynamic. Too many thirst traps on that.

990
00:34:16,130 --> 00:34:17,835
Just saying. Too, I think.

991
00:34:21,034 --> 00:34:22,795
If if I were in if if I

992
00:34:22,795 --> 00:34:24,155
had a partner that was that tall, I

993
00:34:24,155 --> 00:34:25,835
believe I would just be climbing them.

994
00:34:26,315 --> 00:34:27,855
So you are technically

995
00:34:28,714 --> 00:34:29,214
now

996
00:34:29,514 --> 00:34:31,434
shorter than me. Yes. But when we first

997
00:34:31,434 --> 00:34:33,199
met, we were eye to eye, and I

998
00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:33,699
struggled

999
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:34,980
with

1000
00:34:35,359 --> 00:34:36,420
feeling submissive

1001
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,440
You did. Because you were not bigger and

1002
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,239
taller. You had it in here that Yes.

1003
00:34:41,359 --> 00:34:42,319
You need to be physically

1004
00:34:42,799 --> 00:34:44,480
So what would you say? Like, how do

1005
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,880
you feel dominance? How do you maintain that

1006
00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,304
feeling? How do you, like, especially and because

1007
00:34:49,304 --> 00:34:51,484
you've had partners that there was a significant

1008
00:34:51,545 --> 00:34:53,704
size difference. You are our short king, and

1009
00:34:53,704 --> 00:34:56,125
we love you for it. So how how

1010
00:34:56,505 --> 00:34:58,425
how does that work for you? Well, I

1011
00:34:58,425 --> 00:34:59,484
know with you,

1012
00:35:00,184 --> 00:35:00,434
it's

1013
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,139
you know, you were

1014
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,139
carrying on about it one night,

1015
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:06,880
and I grabbed you by your hair and

1016
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:08,099
had you on your knees.

1017
00:35:09,599 --> 00:35:10,659
You're like, see?

1018
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,539
Right. You did the dominant thing

1019
00:35:13,914 --> 00:35:15,434
and got me into that headspace and I

1020
00:35:15,434 --> 00:35:18,154
had nothing to do with size of body

1021
00:35:18,234 --> 00:35:20,554
Yeah. And height. Exactly. And and I think

1022
00:35:20,554 --> 00:35:22,795
that's where it really comes down to, you

1023
00:35:22,795 --> 00:35:25,594
know, you you you be yourself, you be

1024
00:35:25,594 --> 00:35:26,760
your dominant self,

1025
00:35:27,159 --> 00:35:27,659
and

1026
00:35:28,039 --> 00:35:31,400
you just be real and consistent Mhmm. And

1027
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,559
and, you know, everything should fall in place.

1028
00:35:33,559 --> 00:35:35,019
Yep. You know, because, again,

1029
00:35:36,679 --> 00:35:39,135
height, width, you know, whatever. It it doesn't

1030
00:35:39,375 --> 00:35:41,934
it it doesn't matter. One of my favorite

1031
00:35:41,934 --> 00:35:44,094
ever scenes to witness, and I hate watching

1032
00:35:44,094 --> 00:35:45,534
a scene because I get bored and antsy.

1033
00:35:45,534 --> 00:35:47,215
I'm not I know the one you're gonna

1034
00:35:47,215 --> 00:35:47,954
talk about.

1035
00:35:48,735 --> 00:35:49,635
Their dynamic,

1036
00:35:50,014 --> 00:35:51,614
at the time, these were their pronouns, so

1037
00:35:51,614 --> 00:35:52,815
I'm sticking on them because I don't know

1038
00:35:52,815 --> 00:35:54,355
any different. She was

1039
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,519
five foot nothing. Oh, yeah. He was a

1040
00:35:57,519 --> 00:35:59,599
big old boy. He was a bear. He

1041
00:35:59,599 --> 00:36:01,359
was huge. He was massive. He was I'd

1042
00:36:01,359 --> 00:36:02,719
have climbed him like a tree too if

1043
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:03,380
he consented.

1044
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:07,760
She flitted around almost like a butterfly around

1045
00:36:07,760 --> 00:36:10,594
him while wailing on him. Their Yeah. Their

1046
00:36:10,594 --> 00:36:12,614
play was impact and he could take

1047
00:36:12,914 --> 00:36:13,414
crazy

1048
00:36:13,875 --> 00:36:15,875
hard hard impact. And she was And she

1049
00:36:15,875 --> 00:36:18,135
just went, okay. You're my pinata.

1050
00:36:18,514 --> 00:36:21,175
She was not holding back. But she Mm-mm.

1051
00:36:21,724 --> 00:36:24,230
She used like, she had to work a

1052
00:36:24,230 --> 00:36:26,230
little harder to get the strength, to get

1053
00:36:26,230 --> 00:36:27,909
the angles, but she was able to give

1054
00:36:27,909 --> 00:36:28,409
him

1055
00:36:28,789 --> 00:36:31,110
experiences from, like, a sensation point that somebody

1056
00:36:31,110 --> 00:36:32,869
his own height or taller could not because

1057
00:36:32,869 --> 00:36:34,965
she's coming up from the bottom, you know?

1058
00:36:36,805 --> 00:36:37,625
But she was

1059
00:36:38,164 --> 00:36:39,545
in scene consensually.

1060
00:36:40,244 --> 00:36:42,965
She was mean and they both loved it

1061
00:36:42,965 --> 00:36:45,125
and it didn't matter what their size was

1062
00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:47,460
because, you know, somebody said in the in

1063
00:36:47,460 --> 00:36:49,559
the live chat, and that is true, dominance

1064
00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:53,619
is is mindset. Dominance is energy. Dominance is

1065
00:36:53,859 --> 00:36:55,619
Yep. The look on your face, the tone

1066
00:36:55,619 --> 00:36:57,539
of your words, you know, what you were

1067
00:36:57,539 --> 00:37:00,420
doing within the negotiated dynamic. It's nothing to

1068
00:37:00,420 --> 00:37:01,811
do with size. Yeah. Nothing to do with

1069
00:37:01,876 --> 00:37:03,824
And and it was it was I I

1070
00:37:03,824 --> 00:37:05,505
have to say it. It was cute as

1071
00:37:05,505 --> 00:37:06,244
hell watching

1072
00:37:07,585 --> 00:37:09,824
her cuddle him after him. Oh, now that

1073
00:37:09,824 --> 00:37:11,684
was hilarious. You would think

1074
00:37:11,985 --> 00:37:14,244
she should have been the little spoon. Right.

1075
00:37:14,465 --> 00:37:16,559
But he needed the comfort and Mhmm. You

1076
00:37:16,559 --> 00:37:18,239
know, she sort of draped herself up. It

1077
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:20,159
was Yeah. It was a good scene because,

1078
00:37:20,159 --> 00:37:22,259
man, I was like, holy shit. He's taken

1079
00:37:22,639 --> 00:37:24,799
he's taken a beating and loving it. Oh,

1080
00:37:24,799 --> 00:37:26,440
yeah. But she was this little thing just

1081
00:37:26,559 --> 00:37:28,079
Oh, yeah. She flitting around him. She was

1082
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:30,663
tiny. Mhmm. She actually I mean, she were

1083
00:37:30,663 --> 00:37:32,775
nuts. Because she was she was small to

1084
00:37:32,775 --> 00:37:34,474
me. Yes. Yes. So

1085
00:37:36,375 --> 00:37:39,494
so my point is Yeah. It doesn't matter.

1086
00:37:39,494 --> 00:37:40,715
And No. Quite frankly,

1087
00:37:41,494 --> 00:37:42,235
when somebody's

1088
00:37:42,614 --> 00:37:44,054
you know, if you want it to have

1089
00:37:44,054 --> 00:37:46,840
that experience of being physically above them, because

1090
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,360
I get it. There's a you know, people

1091
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,019
do use their physical body to dominate to,

1092
00:37:51,079 --> 00:37:52,780
you know, be over somebody.

1093
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:54,760
They just maybe they need to be be

1094
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:55,880
on the ground and you need to be

1095
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:57,480
up top. And and that was another thing

1096
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,840
I was just gonna say. But school maybe

1097
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,360
if that's your thing or

1098
00:38:01,215 --> 00:38:02,815
Learn some of the, what do they call

1099
00:38:02,815 --> 00:38:03,875
it? The gory and,

1100
00:38:04,414 --> 00:38:07,775
kneeling skill, you know, different poses. Mhmm. So,

1101
00:38:07,775 --> 00:38:09,855
you know, if you wanna if you want

1102
00:38:09,855 --> 00:38:10,755
to work within

1103
00:38:11,215 --> 00:38:13,555
body size, don't worry about size, body position.

1104
00:38:14,175 --> 00:38:16,434
You are sitting higher, standing higher,

1105
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,199
whatever. They are if they physically can, they

1106
00:38:19,199 --> 00:38:20,900
are lower on the ground than you.

1107
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:22,900
But if, you know,

1108
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:24,719
if you can give them the look and

1109
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,719
they respond, if you can say a word,

1110
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,180
use a tone, and they respond,

1111
00:38:28,894 --> 00:38:30,494
that is what matters most of all. If

1112
00:38:30,494 --> 00:38:32,094
you can you know, if y'all are getting

1113
00:38:32,094 --> 00:38:33,855
kinky and have a scene, you can give

1114
00:38:33,855 --> 00:38:36,414
them the sensation that, you know, help whatever

1115
00:38:36,414 --> 00:38:38,195
it is that gets them in their submissive

1116
00:38:38,255 --> 00:38:40,014
mindset. Yeah. It doesn't matter how big or

1117
00:38:40,014 --> 00:38:42,034
small you are. Nope. Not at all.

1118
00:38:44,449 --> 00:38:46,609
Okay. Here we go. I have a new

1119
00:38:46,609 --> 00:38:48,369
play partner. He likes to be dumb, but

1120
00:38:48,369 --> 00:38:50,949
he's shy and doesn't dare to do much.

1121
00:38:51,250 --> 00:38:52,769
How can I support him and help him

1122
00:38:52,769 --> 00:38:54,710
gain the confidence to be more dominant

1123
00:38:55,170 --> 00:38:56,929
and show him new things and what I

1124
00:38:56,929 --> 00:38:58,929
like without feeling like I'm topping from the

1125
00:38:58,929 --> 00:38:59,429
bottom?

1126
00:39:01,295 --> 00:39:03,554
So let's start with that last question. Okay.

1127
00:39:04,255 --> 00:39:06,494
You're gonna talk to your partner about what

1128
00:39:06,494 --> 00:39:08,894
you like. Yeah. You're gonna negotiate it. That

1129
00:39:08,974 --> 00:39:10,355
that's all part of the negotiation.

1130
00:39:11,295 --> 00:39:13,190
Right. So it should not be coming out

1131
00:39:13,190 --> 00:39:14,469
of nowhere, and then you feel like you're

1132
00:39:14,469 --> 00:39:16,469
topping from the bottom. Now you may need

1133
00:39:16,469 --> 00:39:18,650
to teach and show your partner

1134
00:39:19,109 --> 00:39:20,010
what to do.

1135
00:39:20,549 --> 00:39:22,650
Even if you are not a service submissive,

1136
00:39:22,869 --> 00:39:24,309
think of it as an act of service.

1137
00:39:24,309 --> 00:39:25,914
Think of it as a thing that you

1138
00:39:25,914 --> 00:39:28,234
were doing to make your Dom's life better

1139
00:39:28,234 --> 00:39:29,914
in the moment. Mhmm. You are not topping

1140
00:39:29,914 --> 00:39:31,214
from the bottom. You are providing

1141
00:39:31,514 --> 00:39:34,574
unnecessary information. Right. You're keeping everybody safe.

1142
00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:36,655
You're making sure that your Dom

1143
00:39:37,034 --> 00:39:38,635
can do the thing that needs to be

1144
00:39:38,635 --> 00:39:41,090
done. It's not it's never that is never

1145
00:39:41,090 --> 00:39:43,170
topping from the bottom. Yeah. I you know,

1146
00:39:43,170 --> 00:39:45,349
because yeah. You you're coming into this,

1147
00:39:45,809 --> 00:39:47,590
you know, you don't know what

1148
00:39:48,130 --> 00:39:50,610
the Dom's needs and wants are. Right. He

1149
00:39:50,610 --> 00:39:52,150
doesn't know what yours are.

1150
00:39:52,450 --> 00:39:54,464
So, you know, no. It's not. You you

1151
00:39:54,464 --> 00:39:56,644
have to have that conversation. That's an important

1152
00:39:56,704 --> 00:39:58,464
conversation to have. Right. So

1153
00:39:59,585 --> 00:40:01,505
and, you know, there there does tend to

1154
00:40:01,505 --> 00:40:02,244
be this

1155
00:40:02,625 --> 00:40:04,304
because we've talked about it a million times

1156
00:40:04,304 --> 00:40:06,859
over all these years, this mindset of if

1157
00:40:06,859 --> 00:40:08,860
I am I really submissive if I'm kind

1158
00:40:08,860 --> 00:40:09,440
of leading

1159
00:40:09,739 --> 00:40:12,539
this moment, if I'm if I am explaining

1160
00:40:12,539 --> 00:40:14,219
these things to them, if I'm showing them

1161
00:40:14,219 --> 00:40:16,940
things. Here's the thing. You explain stuff, you

1162
00:40:16,940 --> 00:40:18,699
show them. Sometimes you do have to correct.

1163
00:40:18,699 --> 00:40:20,380
Some people don't always do it right the

1164
00:40:20,380 --> 00:40:22,545
first time or two. Right? And then you

1165
00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:24,144
back off and you let them do. As

1166
00:40:24,144 --> 00:40:25,905
long as they're within your boundaries and you

1167
00:40:25,905 --> 00:40:27,025
don't need to say for it out or

1168
00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,864
you're not having a bad time, whatever. Right.

1169
00:40:28,864 --> 00:40:31,204
It's you've informed and educated.

1170
00:40:31,505 --> 00:40:34,324
Sometimes that's Mhmm. By physically showing somebody.

1171
00:40:35,079 --> 00:40:37,000
And then you go, okay. You got it.

1172
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,920
You know what I like. You step back.

1173
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,719
The dominant part is where they choose how

1174
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,059
and where to do that thing.

1175
00:40:44,599 --> 00:40:45,500
Right. You know?

1176
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,280
Us yeah. Assuming they're also doing other things

1177
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:49,960
that you enjoy even if it's not that

1178
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,594
specific thing. The bigger question, I think,

1179
00:40:53,454 --> 00:40:55,394
is is, may may

1180
00:40:55,695 --> 00:40:57,255
be something you can help with. It's Mhmm.

1181
00:40:57,454 --> 00:40:57,954
Because

1182
00:40:58,255 --> 00:41:00,094
he likes to dominate, but he's shy and

1183
00:41:00,094 --> 00:41:01,695
doesn't wanna do too much as a confident

1184
00:41:01,855 --> 00:41:04,335
that's a confidence thing. Because you could be

1185
00:41:04,335 --> 00:41:05,559
shy and be a dominant. That's not a

1186
00:41:05,559 --> 00:41:06,380
problem. Yeah.

1187
00:41:07,319 --> 00:41:08,139
How can

1188
00:41:08,519 --> 00:41:10,359
I support him and help him gain the

1189
00:41:10,359 --> 00:41:11,819
confidence to be more dominant?

1190
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:15,880
I think one of the biggest things that

1191
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:16,920
can help is,

1192
00:41:17,799 --> 00:41:20,299
you know, after after any kind of scene,

1193
00:41:20,635 --> 00:41:21,375
you know,

1194
00:41:22,555 --> 00:41:24,655
I mean, be honest, but, you know,

1195
00:41:25,275 --> 00:41:27,295
hey. That was really good. You, you know,

1196
00:41:27,355 --> 00:41:27,855
you,

1197
00:41:28,394 --> 00:41:30,075
you know, this thing you were doing, I

1198
00:41:30,075 --> 00:41:31,934
really liked it. It was that was great.

1199
00:41:32,075 --> 00:41:34,450
Mhmm. Okay. That that kind of thing goes

1200
00:41:34,450 --> 00:41:36,390
a long way to helping build somebody's

1201
00:41:36,690 --> 00:41:37,910
confidence. Mhmm.

1202
00:41:39,010 --> 00:41:41,250
Suggest if it's if it's possible in your

1203
00:41:41,250 --> 00:41:41,750
area,

1204
00:41:42,130 --> 00:41:42,630
workshops.

1205
00:41:43,170 --> 00:41:44,550
Mhmm. You know, to

1206
00:41:45,824 --> 00:41:47,824
both of you attend and and you learn

1207
00:41:47,824 --> 00:41:49,664
things, you know. That's,

1208
00:41:51,184 --> 00:41:53,824
that's another way of doing it. Mhmm. So

1209
00:41:54,065 --> 00:41:55,905
The other thing is the boring answer of

1210
00:41:55,905 --> 00:41:57,824
it takes time. Yeah. You kinda go low

1211
00:41:57,824 --> 00:42:00,239
and slow. So, like, if it's a specific

1212
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,480
kink activity, I'm gonna use impacts because that's

1213
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:04,320
our thing, and it's just easy to do

1214
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,140
examples for.

1215
00:42:05,599 --> 00:42:08,019
If they've never spanked somebody

1216
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,019
ever Mhmm.

1217
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,480
Then we're not gonna hand them a crop

1218
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,214
and go go to town. Right? We're gonna

1219
00:42:14,214 --> 00:42:14,875
start with

1220
00:42:15,175 --> 00:42:17,255
hand on ass. I've said it before. I

1221
00:42:17,255 --> 00:42:17,755
have,

1222
00:42:18,775 --> 00:42:21,755
flogged many a pillow into submission practicing.

1223
00:42:22,295 --> 00:42:24,855
There's practice, and then there's also so practice

1224
00:42:24,855 --> 00:42:27,255
on any of my objects. Sure. But there's

1225
00:42:27,255 --> 00:42:29,510
also what y'all do. So

1226
00:42:29,890 --> 00:42:30,630
you might

1227
00:42:31,250 --> 00:42:32,390
not, in the beginning,

1228
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:34,550
be doing as much

1229
00:42:34,930 --> 00:42:37,250
as you would like to, intricate as intricate

1230
00:42:37,250 --> 00:42:39,090
as you would like to, but that's so

1231
00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:40,769
that they have time to learn and gain

1232
00:42:40,769 --> 00:42:41,989
some confidence. So

1233
00:42:42,545 --> 00:42:44,385
let's say it's a spanking and they're willing

1234
00:42:44,385 --> 00:42:45,905
and you're both willing blah blah blah. Well,

1235
00:42:45,905 --> 00:42:48,385
they're gonna start out slow smacking your ass.

1236
00:42:48,385 --> 00:42:51,105
Right? They're gonna do some test strikes and

1237
00:42:51,105 --> 00:42:53,664
you're gonna provide feedback. You're gonna go Mhmm.

1238
00:42:53,744 --> 00:42:56,019
That felt great. You can go harder. Yeah.

1239
00:42:56,019 --> 00:42:58,420
Not that hard. Whatever. Whatever. Mhmm. And they're

1240
00:42:58,420 --> 00:42:59,400
going to learn

1241
00:43:00,019 --> 00:43:02,819
how you know, what that feels like as

1242
00:43:02,819 --> 00:43:04,519
they do it for you and them.

1243
00:43:05,219 --> 00:43:05,859
You know, the

1244
00:43:06,579 --> 00:43:07,539
when somebody's new

1245
00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,295
either or both of you. When somebody's new

1246
00:43:10,295 --> 00:43:11,994
to Kinky Play or Power Exchange,

1247
00:43:12,534 --> 00:43:14,775
in the beginning, the one who knows more,

1248
00:43:14,775 --> 00:43:16,394
has more experience, whatever whatever,

1249
00:43:17,574 --> 00:43:19,174
you do a lot of it's a lot

1250
00:43:19,174 --> 00:43:20,694
of feedback. It's a lot of try the

1251
00:43:20,694 --> 00:43:22,295
thing, give the feedback, try the thing, give

1252
00:43:22,295 --> 00:43:23,909
the feedback. Because that's how the person who

1253
00:43:23,909 --> 00:43:25,609
don't have a clue is gonna learn.

1254
00:43:26,230 --> 00:43:28,550
This works. This doesn't. I I know I

1255
00:43:28,550 --> 00:43:30,550
know how to do that. Okay. I tried

1256
00:43:30,550 --> 00:43:32,949
this. That didn't work. Whatever. And it's not

1257
00:43:32,949 --> 00:43:35,690
the, like, fantasy scene where, you know, you

1258
00:43:36,070 --> 00:43:38,534
you get to, like, let somebody take total

1259
00:43:38,534 --> 00:43:40,215
control and turn your brain off. It's you

1260
00:43:40,215 --> 00:43:41,734
know, you can get there, but you gotta

1261
00:43:41,734 --> 00:43:43,355
give them time to get there.

1262
00:43:44,454 --> 00:43:46,454
On the doesn't wanna do too much, is

1263
00:43:46,454 --> 00:43:48,295
it, like, doesn't wanna hurt you? You're gonna

1264
00:43:48,295 --> 00:43:49,574
have to give a lot of feedback. You're

1265
00:43:49,574 --> 00:43:50,775
gonna have to go, I can take it.

1266
00:43:50,775 --> 00:43:52,715
I want more. Mhmm. You know?

1267
00:43:53,469 --> 00:43:55,710
And and then they might move at a

1268
00:43:55,710 --> 00:43:58,190
slower pace than you want, but as as

1269
00:43:58,190 --> 00:43:59,869
long as there's some level of forward movement,

1270
00:43:59,869 --> 00:44:01,869
I think you're fine. Within their own boundaries.

1271
00:44:01,869 --> 00:44:04,269
Like, there there are absolutely doms and just

1272
00:44:04,269 --> 00:44:05,949
people in general, but doms who are like,

1273
00:44:05,949 --> 00:44:08,585
I don't wanna hurt anybody that much. I'm

1274
00:44:08,585 --> 00:44:11,065
not interested in that. Yeah. So there's also

1275
00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:12,764
the navigating that, like,

1276
00:44:13,065 --> 00:44:14,824
where are their boundaries here? Their limits and

1277
00:44:14,824 --> 00:44:17,545
boundaries. And when you're new, sometimes your boundaries

1278
00:44:17,545 --> 00:44:19,704
are very close. It's a it's a very

1279
00:44:19,704 --> 00:44:22,105
small little Venn diagram of what you're willing

1280
00:44:22,105 --> 00:44:24,639
to do. But as you gain experience and

1281
00:44:24,639 --> 00:44:27,860
confidence That that's gross. You yes. Yes. Exactly.

1282
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:29,780
Okay.

1283
00:44:30,559 --> 00:44:32,659
Oh, this oh, this one.

1284
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,500
Should I still call my d partner

1285
00:44:38,945 --> 00:44:41,764
daddy if they use it with another person?

1286
00:44:45,264 --> 00:44:47,264
I don't I don't know if they finish

1287
00:44:47,264 --> 00:44:47,764
their,

1288
00:44:48,625 --> 00:44:50,465
sentence because it says, if they use it

1289
00:44:50,465 --> 00:44:52,784
with another person to mean much. I'm not

1290
00:44:52,784 --> 00:44:54,809
sure what that part meant, meant. But Mhmm.

1291
00:44:55,349 --> 00:44:57,269
Is it a should I still call them

1292
00:44:57,269 --> 00:44:59,929
daddy if somebody else is calling them daddy?

1293
00:45:00,949 --> 00:45:04,089
That's personal. Yeah. It is. That's personal. Yeah.

1294
00:45:06,405 --> 00:45:08,005
I think I'm much more relaxed about this

1295
00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:09,364
than I used to be. We did used

1296
00:45:09,364 --> 00:45:10,405
to have a rule that I was just

1297
00:45:10,405 --> 00:45:12,085
like, I I don't like the idea of

1298
00:45:12,085 --> 00:45:14,244
anybody calling you daddy. You're my daddy. I

1299
00:45:14,244 --> 00:45:16,344
I think I could handle it better now.

1300
00:45:16,485 --> 00:45:18,025
I don't know. That might have been insecurity.

1301
00:45:19,125 --> 00:45:21,849
But my question is Mhmm. If you had

1302
00:45:21,849 --> 00:45:24,110
me and another partner calling you daddy,

1303
00:45:24,969 --> 00:45:27,070
like, can you imagine how you might feel?

1304
00:45:27,769 --> 00:45:29,050
Like, would that be weird? Would you be

1305
00:45:29,050 --> 00:45:30,409
like, okay. That's a big deal. I could

1306
00:45:30,409 --> 00:45:31,769
separate it in my mind. Ma'am, would that

1307
00:45:31,769 --> 00:45:32,505
be an ego boost?

1308
00:45:34,424 --> 00:45:37,224
Boost? I assure you there is somebody on

1309
00:45:37,224 --> 00:45:39,224
the Internet who would love to call you

1310
00:45:39,224 --> 00:45:39,724
daddy.

1311
00:45:40,744 --> 00:45:42,204
Get consent first, y'all.

1312
00:45:43,224 --> 00:45:43,884
Mhmm. So,

1313
00:45:44,264 --> 00:45:46,344
you know, I don't know. I honestly don't

1314
00:45:46,344 --> 00:45:46,844
know.

1315
00:45:47,909 --> 00:45:49,589
I wish we had a like, another person

1316
00:45:49,589 --> 00:45:51,269
here so you could just hear it, like,

1317
00:45:51,269 --> 00:45:52,010
in stereo.

1318
00:45:52,469 --> 00:45:54,630
Yeah. Because I I mean, because because, you

1319
00:45:54,630 --> 00:45:56,789
know, of of how you had felt about

1320
00:45:56,789 --> 00:45:57,289
that,

1321
00:45:57,670 --> 00:45:59,269
you know You never let yourself think about

1322
00:45:59,269 --> 00:46:00,089
it? No.

1323
00:46:00,869 --> 00:46:01,369
And,

1324
00:46:02,925 --> 00:46:03,585
you know,

1325
00:46:03,965 --> 00:46:06,525
like, one called me papa bear. Mhmm. You

1326
00:46:06,525 --> 00:46:08,844
know? And that was the same vibe, same

1327
00:46:08,844 --> 00:46:11,744
energy. Yes. So I think it's personal preference,

1328
00:46:12,364 --> 00:46:12,864
ultimately.

1329
00:46:13,724 --> 00:46:15,505
Can you use the same

1330
00:46:15,969 --> 00:46:18,210
honorific title label with a partner that somebody

1331
00:46:18,210 --> 00:46:20,130
else is using? Of course, you can. Yeah.

1332
00:46:20,130 --> 00:46:21,510
If it makes you uncomfortable,

1333
00:46:22,610 --> 00:46:24,369
it's not on that other person to change.

1334
00:46:24,369 --> 00:46:26,050
It's on you to decide to change, to

1335
00:46:26,050 --> 00:46:27,349
find another term

1336
00:46:28,164 --> 00:46:30,404
that hits right, but That works for you.

1337
00:46:30,484 --> 00:46:33,204
Is different enough that you're like Yeah. Okay.

1338
00:46:33,204 --> 00:46:35,284
This is my special thing to call them.

1339
00:46:35,284 --> 00:46:37,525
To some people, that is important. That's, you

1340
00:46:37,525 --> 00:46:39,924
know, that's a a very personal thing. It's

1341
00:46:39,924 --> 00:46:41,969
a very intimate thing to, yeah, what you

1342
00:46:41,969 --> 00:46:44,150
call your partner and, you know, whatever.

1343
00:46:44,449 --> 00:46:46,949
So you do not have to change anything,

1344
00:46:47,730 --> 00:46:49,590
but you can. Mhmm. But

1345
00:46:49,969 --> 00:46:50,469
if

1346
00:46:50,849 --> 00:46:53,250
they're you can't control what the other person

1347
00:46:53,250 --> 00:46:55,329
does. Right? You can only control you. So

1348
00:46:55,329 --> 00:46:57,375
if you don't like the idea of two

1349
00:46:57,375 --> 00:46:59,295
two people using that same title, like whether

1350
00:46:59,295 --> 00:47:00,974
it's a former partner or a current partner

1351
00:47:00,974 --> 00:47:01,554
in you,

1352
00:47:02,894 --> 00:47:05,295
you either have to decide that it ultimately

1353
00:47:05,295 --> 00:47:07,375
doesn't matter to you or you have to

1354
00:47:07,375 --> 00:47:09,074
decide what you're gonna call them instead.

1355
00:47:09,619 --> 00:47:11,140
Like, because if we're talking about a former

1356
00:47:11,140 --> 00:47:13,140
partner, well, you can't change that. That's in

1357
00:47:13,140 --> 00:47:14,360
the past now. Right.

1358
00:47:14,660 --> 00:47:17,219
And if it's another partner or another person

1359
00:47:17,219 --> 00:47:19,619
like daddy, that could be their child calling

1360
00:47:19,619 --> 00:47:20,360
them daddy.

1361
00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:23,940
That's why I kinda giggled when I read

1362
00:47:23,940 --> 00:47:25,755
this because I was like, we've had this

1363
00:47:25,755 --> 00:47:28,155
conversation. Would I call JV daddy if my

1364
00:47:28,155 --> 00:47:29,835
own father, who I called daddy for the

1365
00:47:29,835 --> 00:47:32,234
first twenty two years of my life, because

1366
00:47:32,234 --> 00:47:33,614
that's how long he was alive,

1367
00:47:34,234 --> 00:47:36,394
if he was still alive? And I can't

1368
00:47:36,394 --> 00:47:38,335
answer that because I'm not in that position.

1369
00:47:38,474 --> 00:47:39,960
Yeah. I don't have to know what that

1370
00:47:40,039 --> 00:47:42,460
feels like. I mean, you can, you know,

1371
00:47:42,679 --> 00:47:44,839
conjecture and and Right. Guess and all that,

1372
00:47:44,839 --> 00:47:45,320
but

1373
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:47,179
Exactly. You never know

1374
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,400
how you're going to react or feel until

1375
00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:50,780
you're actually in the situation.

1376
00:47:51,159 --> 00:47:53,719
Mhmm. So In in that moment. There's no

1377
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:55,239
should. There's no because there's no right or

1378
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,505
wrong. What works for the two of y'all?

1379
00:47:57,505 --> 00:47:59,285
What feels good for you? Mhmm.

1380
00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:02,144
Just how do you feel about it? And

1381
00:48:02,144 --> 00:48:03,125
that feeling

1382
00:48:03,905 --> 00:48:04,644
is valid.

1383
00:48:05,184 --> 00:48:07,184
It's the actions that are gonna matter more.

1384
00:48:07,184 --> 00:48:09,239
You can't demand somebody else say something different.

1385
00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:10,619
You can only change your behavior.

1386
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:13,480
If you can't if you don't like the

1387
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,480
idea that they are daddy to somebody else

1388
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:16,940
for any reason, relationship,

1389
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:18,059
power exchange,

1390
00:48:18,519 --> 00:48:20,860
parenting, like, whatever the the reason,

1391
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,735
if that's you don't like that, then pick

1392
00:48:23,735 --> 00:48:25,835
something else. And there are

1393
00:48:26,375 --> 00:48:28,535
so many terms you can use, and I

1394
00:48:28,775 --> 00:48:29,835
I'll try to remember

1395
00:48:30,614 --> 00:48:31,594
to link this,

1396
00:48:32,295 --> 00:48:34,295
in the show notes and and in YouTube

1397
00:48:34,295 --> 00:48:35,434
after we're done streaming.

1398
00:48:36,295 --> 00:48:38,670
I came across and utilized a lot,

1399
00:48:39,710 --> 00:48:42,769
massive long lists that somebody on Reddit created

1400
00:48:42,829 --> 00:48:45,389
for the kink online kink community of all

1401
00:48:45,389 --> 00:48:47,630
these terms you can use to to call

1402
00:48:47,710 --> 00:48:49,230
what to call your dominant, what to call

1403
00:48:49,230 --> 00:48:51,085
your sub so that you can because you

1404
00:48:51,085 --> 00:48:53,085
can get creative and it'll maybe spark some

1405
00:48:53,085 --> 00:48:55,164
ideas if you do decide to call them

1406
00:48:55,164 --> 00:48:56,305
something other than daddy.

1407
00:48:57,644 --> 00:48:58,144
Okay.

1408
00:48:59,085 --> 00:49:01,324
I am a sex positive therapist. How do

1409
00:49:01,324 --> 00:49:04,144
you think most kinksters feel about therapy?

1410
00:49:08,150 --> 00:49:08,650
Most?

1411
00:49:09,670 --> 00:49:12,150
That yeah. It's Yeah. I have no idea

1412
00:49:12,150 --> 00:49:13,989
what most of anybody thinks. I mean, I

1413
00:49:13,989 --> 00:49:15,849
I can tell you what I think. Right.

1414
00:49:16,389 --> 00:49:16,710
And,

1415
00:49:17,190 --> 00:49:19,190
I I think it's it's good. Mhmm. I

1416
00:49:19,190 --> 00:49:20,170
think it's helpful.

1417
00:49:23,324 --> 00:49:23,985
You know,

1418
00:49:24,684 --> 00:49:25,664
I was in therapy.

1419
00:49:26,445 --> 00:49:27,724
I would go back if I could. And

1420
00:49:27,724 --> 00:49:28,925
I would go back in a heartbeat if

1421
00:49:28,925 --> 00:49:30,625
I could afford to right now. Yes. Yep.

1422
00:49:30,765 --> 00:49:31,265
Absolutely.

1423
00:49:31,805 --> 00:49:33,405
But, you know, no.

1424
00:49:33,805 --> 00:49:35,565
You know, yeah. I I I believe in

1425
00:49:35,565 --> 00:49:37,329
it. I think therapy is is a good

1426
00:49:37,329 --> 00:49:39,730
thing. I it's it helps. Right. This is

1427
00:49:39,730 --> 00:49:41,650
pure conjecture. I have no way of knowing.

1428
00:49:41,650 --> 00:49:43,250
I don't know if anybody's ever done, like,

1429
00:49:43,650 --> 00:49:45,429
any sort of survey of the kink community.

1430
00:49:45,489 --> 00:49:45,989
Yeah.

1431
00:49:47,570 --> 00:49:48,070
Because,

1432
00:49:49,570 --> 00:49:50,070
overwhelmingly,

1433
00:49:51,065 --> 00:49:51,965
the kink community

1434
00:49:52,345 --> 00:49:55,644
understands the need for open and clear communication

1435
00:49:56,345 --> 00:49:59,545
and boundaries and consent and negotiates these things

1436
00:49:59,545 --> 00:50:01,945
well or tries to or learns to negotiate

1437
00:50:01,945 --> 00:50:04,204
them well, and navigate them well.

1438
00:50:05,519 --> 00:50:07,219
I think in theory

1439
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:11,360
probably more kinksters than not are absolutely open

1440
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,360
to therapy willing to do it. Understand it's

1441
00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:15,699
a a net good for so many.

1442
00:50:18,695 --> 00:50:19,195
But

1443
00:50:20,375 --> 00:50:22,614
it's hard to know because I'll say it

1444
00:50:22,614 --> 00:50:24,934
again, kink community is just a cross section

1445
00:50:24,934 --> 00:50:25,515
of humanity

1446
00:50:25,974 --> 00:50:28,375
and there are absolutely people who don't think

1447
00:50:28,375 --> 00:50:30,215
therapy is real who refuse to talk to

1448
00:50:30,215 --> 00:50:32,019
somebody who are like, I'm not gonna, you

1449
00:50:32,019 --> 00:50:34,660
know, talk's not gonna fix my problems. What's

1450
00:50:34,660 --> 00:50:36,920
it there? Like, of course there are.

1451
00:50:38,099 --> 00:50:38,599
But

1452
00:50:39,220 --> 00:50:40,280
there's probably

1453
00:50:40,579 --> 00:50:43,720
something to it that studies have found that

1454
00:50:43,940 --> 00:50:44,760
in general,

1455
00:50:45,664 --> 00:50:48,164
on an average of spectrum of like, statistically,

1456
00:50:49,344 --> 00:50:49,844
kinksters

1457
00:50:50,224 --> 00:50:51,764
tend to have,

1458
00:50:52,224 --> 00:50:52,885
you know,

1459
00:50:53,264 --> 00:50:54,484
better mental health

1460
00:50:54,945 --> 00:50:56,804
outcomes than non kinksters.

1461
00:50:57,860 --> 00:51:00,660
One article I read several weeks ago, I

1462
00:51:00,660 --> 00:51:02,099
put it in our newsletter because I put

1463
00:51:02,099 --> 00:51:03,960
those kinds of articles in our weekly newsletter,

1464
00:51:05,219 --> 00:51:07,300
talked about how, you know, when you are

1465
00:51:07,300 --> 00:51:09,800
free to be who you truly are Mhmm.

1466
00:51:10,179 --> 00:51:12,005
And you tend to you tend to be

1467
00:51:12,005 --> 00:51:14,405
happier than the average person who maybe is

1468
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:14,905
not

1469
00:51:15,204 --> 00:51:16,184
living their truth.

1470
00:51:17,125 --> 00:51:19,525
So there's probably something there as well. And

1471
00:51:19,525 --> 00:51:21,204
and I know for a while too there

1472
00:51:21,204 --> 00:51:21,605
was,

1473
00:51:22,244 --> 00:51:23,570
you know, a thing,

1474
00:51:25,789 --> 00:51:27,570
going around people that

1475
00:51:28,190 --> 00:51:28,690
to

1476
00:51:29,309 --> 00:51:30,829
I'm trying to think of the words, how

1477
00:51:30,829 --> 00:51:31,809
to put the words,

1478
00:51:33,469 --> 00:51:33,969
that

1479
00:51:36,750 --> 00:51:37,650
can can be

1480
00:51:47,175 --> 00:51:49,734
thing I would say, not because there's no

1481
00:51:49,734 --> 00:51:51,940
way to know how most kinksters feel about

1482
00:51:51,940 --> 00:51:53,480
therapy. Here's what I will tell.

1483
00:51:53,780 --> 00:51:56,099
From my experience, this is anecdotal. I have

1484
00:51:56,099 --> 00:51:56,840
no data.

1485
00:51:58,420 --> 00:51:59,880
The kinksters who

1486
00:52:00,579 --> 00:52:02,660
want therapy would have a therapist in a

1487
00:52:02,660 --> 00:52:04,724
heartbeat if they had the resources for it,

1488
00:52:05,204 --> 00:52:07,625
are seeking a therapist. What they want

1489
00:52:08,005 --> 00:52:10,565
in the conversations I've had is a kink

1490
00:52:10,565 --> 00:52:11,545
aware therapist.

1491
00:52:12,085 --> 00:52:14,244
They either don't wanna have to hide that

1492
00:52:14,244 --> 00:52:15,925
they're kinky even if they're not really gonna

1493
00:52:15,925 --> 00:52:18,244
talk about it. Things come up like, you

1494
00:52:18,244 --> 00:52:19,869
know, hell, hell, what if you saw a

1495
00:52:19,869 --> 00:52:21,630
bruise around their wrist because they had some

1496
00:52:21,710 --> 00:52:23,070
you know what I mean? And they're like,

1497
00:52:23,309 --> 00:52:25,309
it's a bruise. You know? It gets weird

1498
00:52:25,309 --> 00:52:27,309
when you can't just you don't feel comfortable

1499
00:52:27,309 --> 00:52:28,750
to just go, I'm kinky, and we did

1500
00:52:28,750 --> 00:52:30,130
this thing this weekend. Right?

1501
00:52:30,670 --> 00:52:32,449
Some of us, ourselves included,

1502
00:52:33,070 --> 00:52:34,724
the first so far the only. But the

1503
00:52:34,724 --> 00:52:36,164
first time I went to a therapist, I

1504
00:52:36,164 --> 00:52:37,924
was looking for a kink aware therapist because

1505
00:52:37,924 --> 00:52:39,284
I was I needed to be able to

1506
00:52:39,284 --> 00:52:41,284
talk about my relationship. And to understand our

1507
00:52:41,284 --> 00:52:43,864
relationship, you have to understand the dynamic. Exactly.

1508
00:52:44,005 --> 00:52:46,644
What kinksters have told me, and I agree,

1509
00:52:46,644 --> 00:52:48,025
I don't wanna do this either,

1510
00:52:48,639 --> 00:52:50,079
is I don't want you to just be

1511
00:52:50,079 --> 00:52:51,780
open to kink I want you to have

1512
00:52:52,159 --> 00:52:54,559
very limited basic awareness of what it is.

1513
00:52:54,559 --> 00:52:55,679
Mhmm. That's what a lot of people say

1514
00:52:55,679 --> 00:52:56,880
is, I don't wanna have to teach my

1515
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,800
therapist what the fuck a power exchange is

1516
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:00,579
just to get through to the conversation

1517
00:53:01,039 --> 00:53:02,644
about whatever whatever. Right?

1518
00:53:03,025 --> 00:53:04,864
Or to wonder, oh God, are they gonna

1519
00:53:04,864 --> 00:53:06,864
think that I'm automatically being abused because I'm

1520
00:53:06,864 --> 00:53:07,525
the submissive?

1521
00:53:07,905 --> 00:53:08,405
So

1522
00:53:08,784 --> 00:53:10,485
regardless of how many kinksters

1523
00:53:10,864 --> 00:53:13,344
want therapy, believe in therapy, go to therapy,

1524
00:53:13,344 --> 00:53:14,945
no way of knowing unless somebody does a

1525
00:53:14,945 --> 00:53:15,900
study on that,

1526
00:53:16,380 --> 00:53:17,679
I think it's more important

1527
00:53:18,299 --> 00:53:20,639
for therapists who are who

1528
00:53:21,260 --> 00:53:23,519
know that the kink community exists

1529
00:53:24,139 --> 00:53:24,639
to

1530
00:53:24,940 --> 00:53:27,420
just bare bones, get an more than just

1531
00:53:27,420 --> 00:53:29,440
an awareness of kink. Get a basic,

1532
00:53:29,900 --> 00:53:32,514
like real basic understanding of power exchange and

1533
00:53:32,514 --> 00:53:33,894
kink dynamics and BDSM

1534
00:53:34,434 --> 00:53:35,175
so that

1535
00:53:35,875 --> 00:53:38,034
and then put yourself in spaces where kinksters

1536
00:53:38,034 --> 00:53:38,534
are.

1537
00:53:39,394 --> 00:53:41,574
They'll come to you. I mean, we

1538
00:53:41,954 --> 00:53:43,795
we did this years ago when we still

1539
00:53:43,795 --> 00:53:45,840
lived in the Tampa Bay area. And I

1540
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:47,119
I know we've tried to do it here,

1541
00:53:47,119 --> 00:53:49,140
and we probably could if we we have.

1542
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:50,739
We will go on FetLife

1543
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:52,500
and look for folks

1544
00:53:53,039 --> 00:53:55,920
for any service industry if they're kinky. Our

1545
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:58,674
HVAC guy is a kinkster. No. Does he

1546
00:53:58,674 --> 00:54:00,674
listen to the podcast? I don't know. If

1547
00:54:00,674 --> 00:54:02,114
you do, you know who you are. It

1548
00:54:02,114 --> 00:54:04,454
won't out you because privacy concerns all that.

1549
00:54:05,234 --> 00:54:06,674
In the past when we were looking for

1550
00:54:06,674 --> 00:54:08,835
an accountant who let us down seriously, the

1551
00:54:08,835 --> 00:54:09,574
first one,

1552
00:54:09,954 --> 00:54:12,670
kingster. The second one, also a kingster. Star.

1553
00:54:12,670 --> 00:54:13,170
So,

1554
00:54:13,469 --> 00:54:14,929
like, I think

1555
00:54:15,710 --> 00:54:17,250
not all. Our real estate.

1556
00:54:17,630 --> 00:54:19,869
Yes. Was from the kink community. That's that's

1557
00:54:19,869 --> 00:54:21,710
the thing I found. Not with every kinkster,

1558
00:54:21,710 --> 00:54:22,690
we're not a monolith.

1559
00:54:23,070 --> 00:54:25,150
But kinksters who think about things like that,

1560
00:54:25,150 --> 00:54:27,309
who maybe, like us, your whole life is

1561
00:54:27,309 --> 00:54:29,684
your is kinky Mhmm. And your kinky shit

1562
00:54:29,684 --> 00:54:31,204
is all over your house and you gotta

1563
00:54:31,204 --> 00:54:33,125
get a service from somebody. We're looking for

1564
00:54:33,125 --> 00:54:35,925
kinksters and or people who are openly kink

1565
00:54:35,925 --> 00:54:36,425
friendly.

1566
00:54:37,125 --> 00:54:38,585
That's who we want. Mhmm.

1567
00:54:39,285 --> 00:54:41,204
Because we don't need the judgment. We don't

1568
00:54:41,204 --> 00:54:41,299
wanna hide anything. And I and as for

1569
00:54:41,299 --> 00:54:41,445
me personally in therapy, I don't want to

1570
00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:41,945
explain

1571
00:54:45,820 --> 00:54:47,340
kink to you. I'm not there to be

1572
00:54:47,340 --> 00:54:51,019
Kayla Lords loving BDSM content creator. Mhmm. Okay?

1573
00:54:51,019 --> 00:54:52,559
I am there to tell you

1574
00:54:53,099 --> 00:54:55,514
all of the the sludge in my brain.

1575
00:54:55,755 --> 00:54:57,835
So And that's kinda what ended up happening

1576
00:54:57,835 --> 00:55:00,275
with me. Mhmm. That's why I ended up

1577
00:55:00,315 --> 00:55:01,914
Yeah. It was a little less effective. Yeah.

1578
00:55:01,914 --> 00:55:04,074
Yeah. Now if you are and I'll I'll

1579
00:55:04,074 --> 00:55:05,355
try to remember to put this in the

1580
00:55:05,355 --> 00:55:07,514
plate the link in the places after the

1581
00:55:07,514 --> 00:55:08,014
stream.

1582
00:55:08,750 --> 00:55:10,609
There is a site through the National

1583
00:55:12,269 --> 00:55:14,429
Coalition of Sexual Freedom. Mhmm. Took me a

1584
00:55:14,429 --> 00:55:16,449
second. I know. They keep

1585
00:55:17,309 --> 00:55:19,309
a page up of a database of people

1586
00:55:19,309 --> 00:55:21,730
who add themselves under all kinds of industries

1587
00:55:21,869 --> 00:55:22,369
across.

1588
00:55:22,815 --> 00:55:24,734
I've seen primarily The US, but I think

1589
00:55:24,734 --> 00:55:26,175
in other countries and,

1590
00:55:27,054 --> 00:55:28,034
on other continents.

1591
00:55:28,894 --> 00:55:31,614
If you are a kink friendly, kink aware,

1592
00:55:31,614 --> 00:55:32,114
whatever

1593
00:55:32,655 --> 00:55:35,295
professional of some sort, therapists are a big

1594
00:55:35,295 --> 00:55:37,849
one. I've personally, I think, used the site

1595
00:55:37,849 --> 00:55:40,329
mainly for that. But there are other industries

1596
00:55:40,329 --> 00:55:42,090
there. So if you are looking for somebody

1597
00:55:42,090 --> 00:55:42,910
like a therapist,

1598
00:55:43,610 --> 00:55:45,690
we'll link to it after we're done streaming,

1599
00:55:45,690 --> 00:55:47,769
you can do that. If you yourself are

1600
00:55:47,769 --> 00:55:50,175
a kink aware professional and would like

1601
00:55:50,574 --> 00:55:52,515
to get in front of more kinky people,

1602
00:55:52,974 --> 00:55:54,355
that is one place to do

1603
00:55:54,655 --> 00:55:56,255
it. Because those of us who know about

1604
00:55:56,255 --> 00:55:58,675
that site, fucking use that site. Mhmm.

1605
00:55:59,135 --> 00:56:01,155
Okay. Last question. Okay.

1606
00:56:01,454 --> 00:56:03,614
How did you two spin up your DS

1607
00:56:03,614 --> 00:56:06,469
Dynamic while long distance? What got you started?

1608
00:56:11,090 --> 00:56:13,010
Well, what started out started it for us

1609
00:56:13,010 --> 00:56:14,869
was we just dipped our toes in it.

1610
00:56:15,489 --> 00:56:17,489
Yeah. Because we were talking and flirting and

1611
00:56:17,489 --> 00:56:20,175
realizing we were we liked one another. Mhmm.

1612
00:56:20,175 --> 00:56:22,015
Not necessarily like liked, but, like, we were

1613
00:56:22,015 --> 00:56:23,934
friends with one another. We got along on

1614
00:56:23,934 --> 00:56:25,474
that way, and we both

1615
00:56:26,175 --> 00:56:28,095
met knowing we're kingsters. So there was none

1616
00:56:28,095 --> 00:56:29,555
of this, like, introducing

1617
00:56:30,095 --> 00:56:30,755
Yeah. No.

1618
00:56:31,055 --> 00:56:32,575
I know a sub. You know it's Dom.

1619
00:56:32,575 --> 00:56:34,010
We came at it from that.

1620
00:56:34,309 --> 00:56:36,170
So as the friendship developed,

1621
00:56:36,550 --> 00:56:38,250
I asked you to,

1622
00:56:38,869 --> 00:56:40,570
in a a dominant way,

1623
00:56:40,869 --> 00:56:41,929
help me with

1624
00:56:42,309 --> 00:56:42,809
something.

1625
00:56:44,630 --> 00:56:46,390
I think it's the same old thing I've

1626
00:56:46,390 --> 00:56:48,025
been asking you to help me with for

1627
00:56:48,025 --> 00:56:49,164
all these years. Yeah.

1628
00:56:50,025 --> 00:56:51,885
We haven't started it yet.

1629
00:56:52,664 --> 00:56:55,065
And that was the start. You know, we

1630
00:56:55,065 --> 00:56:57,144
were still being friends. We were still I

1631
00:56:57,144 --> 00:56:57,644
I,

1632
00:56:58,585 --> 00:57:00,210
would play 20 questions by text

1633
00:57:02,769 --> 00:57:04,929
and I mean that literally. What is your

1634
00:57:04,929 --> 00:57:07,089
favorite color? What's your favorite dessert? What's your

1635
00:57:07,089 --> 00:57:09,429
favorite this? I would be sit I remember

1636
00:57:09,570 --> 00:57:11,510
one particular time I was at

1637
00:57:12,050 --> 00:57:13,030
Captain D's.

1638
00:57:13,409 --> 00:57:15,190
I was, like, eating lunch

1639
00:57:15,554 --> 00:57:16,214
and texting you,

1640
00:57:16,755 --> 00:57:18,295
and we were playing 20 questions.

1641
00:57:20,675 --> 00:57:23,234
So Yeah. But we did. We started with

1642
00:57:23,234 --> 00:57:24,914
a thing that was not sexual at all.

1643
00:57:24,914 --> 00:57:27,234
It was a task oriented kind of thing

1644
00:57:27,394 --> 00:57:30,179
Mhmm. While still developing the friendship and

1645
00:57:30,980 --> 00:57:34,119
quick fairly quickly going beyond friendship. Yeah.

1646
00:57:35,619 --> 00:57:37,699
Once we got beyond friendship and it got

1647
00:57:37,699 --> 00:57:38,199
sexy,

1648
00:57:39,460 --> 00:57:41,460
then there was more to it. Because then

1649
00:57:41,460 --> 00:57:42,465
we're playing with orgasm

1650
00:57:43,985 --> 00:57:46,465
control in general. And And I was picking

1651
00:57:46,465 --> 00:57:48,305
out panties for you to wear and And

1652
00:57:48,305 --> 00:57:50,085
I had to send a picture every day.

1653
00:57:50,385 --> 00:57:51,765
Making the panty database,

1654
00:57:53,025 --> 00:57:54,005
that was peak

1655
00:57:54,719 --> 00:57:56,260
geeky nerdy Yeah.

1656
00:57:56,880 --> 00:57:57,780
Kinky shit.

1657
00:57:58,239 --> 00:57:59,460
Because I had to

1658
00:58:00,719 --> 00:58:03,119
for somebody who doesn't wear underwear regularly now,

1659
00:58:03,119 --> 00:58:04,559
I have a shit ton of underwear. I

1660
00:58:04,559 --> 00:58:06,000
did then too because I love me some

1661
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:06,739
pretty panties.

1662
00:58:07,625 --> 00:58:09,385
I had to take a picture of every

1663
00:58:09,385 --> 00:58:11,964
single pair of underwear I owned.

1664
00:58:12,824 --> 00:58:14,905
And the method we had back in the

1665
00:58:14,905 --> 00:58:17,085
day, because this was 2013.

1666
00:58:17,944 --> 00:58:18,444
Goddamn.

1667
00:58:19,144 --> 00:58:21,569
I uploaded all those to a drop box.

1668
00:58:22,349 --> 00:58:22,849
Mhmm.

1669
00:58:23,150 --> 00:58:25,630
And Jamie would send me a picture of

1670
00:58:25,630 --> 00:58:27,710
which panties I was wearing that day so

1671
00:58:27,710 --> 00:58:29,469
he could stay organized and I could stay

1672
00:58:29,469 --> 00:58:29,969
organized.

1673
00:58:30,429 --> 00:58:31,409
Yep. But,

1674
00:58:32,030 --> 00:58:34,269
yep. You you too can feel submissive taking

1675
00:58:34,269 --> 00:58:35,414
pictures of your underwear.

1676
00:58:39,875 --> 00:58:41,554
It was a slow and steady kind of

1677
00:58:41,554 --> 00:58:44,034
thing. Because we were long distance, there wasn't

1678
00:58:44,034 --> 00:58:46,034
a lot of task oriented stuff. Every once

1679
00:58:46,034 --> 00:58:47,010
in a while, you'd be like, can you

1680
00:58:47,010 --> 00:58:48,690
look this up for me? Can you whatever

1681
00:58:48,690 --> 00:58:50,210
whatever. Or I'd offer to help you with

1682
00:58:50,210 --> 00:58:50,710
something.

1683
00:58:51,409 --> 00:58:53,730
And it was for us mostly sexual because

1684
00:58:53,730 --> 00:58:55,329
that was a very easy way to play

1685
00:58:55,329 --> 00:58:56,390
with power dynamics.

1686
00:58:56,769 --> 00:58:58,210
We would be talking on the phone the

1687
00:58:58,210 --> 00:59:00,130
way I woke up every morning was JB

1688
00:59:00,130 --> 00:59:00,914
would call me,

1689
00:59:01,635 --> 00:59:03,974
And then he would talk me through

1690
00:59:04,275 --> 00:59:04,775
masturbation

1691
00:59:05,635 --> 00:59:07,235
and either I got a whole bunch of

1692
00:59:07,235 --> 00:59:10,035
orgasms or maybe maybe I got one after

1693
00:59:10,035 --> 00:59:11,574
way too long of being edged.

1694
00:59:13,715 --> 00:59:14,914
And I you know, I do think if

1695
00:59:14,914 --> 00:59:16,135
there's a sexual component,

1696
00:59:16,880 --> 00:59:18,800
it feels easier because there's so much power

1697
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:20,480
play you can do in sex. Mhmm. It's

1698
00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,480
not required. You just you'll have to be

1699
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:24,559
creative if you're long distance and it's, you

1700
00:59:24,559 --> 00:59:27,619
know, either service oriented or maybe some self

1701
00:59:28,635 --> 00:59:31,195
application of kinky stuff for the benefit of

1702
00:59:31,195 --> 00:59:32,715
your partner. Right? Because I I even had

1703
00:59:32,715 --> 00:59:34,315
you doing research on different,

1704
00:59:34,954 --> 00:59:36,094
kink topics. Mhmm.

1705
00:59:36,715 --> 00:59:39,054
And basically writing little mini papers. Yep.

1706
00:59:39,835 --> 00:59:41,434
Which all you were doing was getting me

1707
00:59:41,434 --> 00:59:43,510
prepared to be Kayla Lord, sex blogger and

1708
00:59:43,510 --> 00:59:44,329
sex writer.

1709
00:59:44,710 --> 00:59:45,849
I appreciate you.

1710
00:59:47,029 --> 00:59:48,630
Yeah. Doing it and I didn't know what

1711
00:59:48,630 --> 00:59:49,690
I was doing. Exactly.

1712
00:59:52,150 --> 00:59:52,889
But that,

1713
00:59:53,190 --> 00:59:54,164
you know, it

1714
00:59:55,045 --> 00:59:56,824
it we started out as friends.

1715
00:59:57,125 --> 00:59:57,625
Mhmm.

1716
00:59:58,405 --> 01:00:00,164
But we both knew what we were, and

1717
01:00:00,164 --> 01:00:01,605
we were Yeah. Like, that was never a

1718
01:00:01,605 --> 01:00:04,085
secret. Nobody had to divulge. We Mm-mm. Done.

1719
01:00:04,085 --> 01:00:05,605
Because we met online. Like, I

1720
01:00:06,739 --> 01:00:08,019
people ask, you know, where do I go

1721
01:00:08,019 --> 01:00:09,619
to meet somebody? I'm like, well, you can

1722
01:00:09,619 --> 01:00:11,380
go back to 2012 and start a sex

1723
01:00:11,380 --> 01:00:13,059
blog. That seemed to work for some of

1724
01:00:13,059 --> 01:00:15,300
us. And I mean, not just me. I

1725
01:00:15,300 --> 01:00:18,420
know several people who met short term and

1726
01:00:18,420 --> 01:00:19,319
long term partners

1727
01:00:19,619 --> 01:00:22,454
through the comment section of sex blogs. Yeah.

1728
01:00:24,034 --> 01:00:26,514
And so, you know, but we started out

1729
01:00:26,514 --> 01:00:27,255
with banter.

1730
01:00:27,714 --> 01:00:30,514
Like, he was posting silly shit on his

1731
01:00:30,514 --> 01:00:32,195
blog, and I was cracking up at a

1732
01:00:32,195 --> 01:00:33,554
time when I was bleeding all over the

1733
01:00:33,554 --> 01:00:35,489
pages of my sex blog because I had

1734
01:00:35,489 --> 01:00:37,650
my first power exchange and my first power

1735
01:00:37,650 --> 01:00:38,710
exchange breakup.

1736
01:00:41,329 --> 01:00:43,829
And so he was being kind and sweet

1737
01:00:43,889 --> 01:00:45,889
without coming across as creepy. And I do

1738
01:00:45,889 --> 01:00:47,190
not know how to tell somebody

1739
01:00:47,650 --> 01:00:49,329
how to do or not do that. It

1740
01:00:49,329 --> 01:00:50,704
is a vibe. Okay?

1741
01:00:51,164 --> 01:00:53,805
I get a vibe when somebody I'm thinking

1742
01:00:53,805 --> 01:00:55,164
if I saw you in person, I would

1743
01:00:55,164 --> 01:00:57,325
think you were slimy and please go away

1744
01:00:57,325 --> 01:00:59,805
from me. And the person who feels like

1745
01:00:59,805 --> 01:01:01,025
a genuine person

1746
01:01:01,724 --> 01:01:03,000
on and I don't I don't know how

1747
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,099
to help you differentiate is the vibe.

1748
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:07,820
But the vibe was good,

1749
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:11,559
and we started out talking. I contacted him

1750
01:01:11,559 --> 01:01:12,059
first.

1751
01:01:12,679 --> 01:01:13,179
Yeah.

1752
01:01:13,719 --> 01:01:15,239
I never do shit. To this day, I

1753
01:01:15,239 --> 01:01:16,619
never do shit like that.

1754
01:01:17,765 --> 01:01:19,945
And it was a friendship thing. You know?

1755
01:01:20,324 --> 01:01:22,324
Yeah. It was an understanding we were both

1756
01:01:22,324 --> 01:01:25,065
dom subs. Sure. But he knew

1757
01:01:25,364 --> 01:01:26,724
what I was going through because I was

1758
01:01:26,724 --> 01:01:28,485
writing about it. And I knew I was

1759
01:01:28,485 --> 01:01:30,805
not interested in a relationship, but I was

1760
01:01:30,805 --> 01:01:32,485
really drawn to him because he was a

1761
01:01:32,485 --> 01:01:34,800
cool dude who who did funny shit on

1762
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:36,559
the Internet and talked to me like I

1763
01:01:36,559 --> 01:01:37,380
was a person

1764
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:39,860
and not a potential sex object.

1765
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:43,220
It makes a difference. I don't know.

1766
01:01:44,079 --> 01:01:45,920
But yeah. It was friendship first. Yeah. It

1767
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,079
was non sexual power exchange. Just can you

1768
01:01:48,079 --> 01:01:49,534
please help me with this thing?

1769
01:01:50,474 --> 01:01:52,554
And it then it grew from there. Because,

1770
01:01:52,554 --> 01:01:53,994
again, go back to my own I do

1771
01:01:53,994 --> 01:01:54,974
take my own advice.

1772
01:01:55,355 --> 01:01:57,275
We did this nonsexual power exchange, and he

1773
01:01:57,275 --> 01:01:59,135
continued to be who he had been

1774
01:01:59,675 --> 01:02:03,019
before we tried power exchange. Mhmm. He earned

1775
01:02:03,019 --> 01:02:04,320
my trust. He

1776
01:02:04,780 --> 01:02:05,840
explained himself.

1777
01:02:06,380 --> 01:02:09,280
He was the first adult human I'd ever

1778
01:02:09,500 --> 01:02:10,000
witnessed

1779
01:02:11,260 --> 01:02:13,579
give clear communication and say the thing he

1780
01:02:13,579 --> 01:02:14,239
was thinking.

1781
01:02:14,585 --> 01:02:16,984
I had not had not in a healthy

1782
01:02:16,984 --> 01:02:18,984
way. I had unhealthy ways of people telling

1783
01:02:18,984 --> 01:02:20,264
me what they were thinking and thank you

1784
01:02:20,264 --> 01:02:21,724
for the trauma. But

1785
01:02:22,025 --> 01:02:24,585
JB was like, let me explain myself to

1786
01:02:24,585 --> 01:02:26,585
you. Here's what I like. Here's what I

1787
01:02:26,585 --> 01:02:28,204
don't. Here's what we're gonna do.

1788
01:02:28,904 --> 01:02:29,404
And

1789
01:02:29,944 --> 01:02:31,650
I went, okay. I like this because I

1790
01:02:31,650 --> 01:02:32,710
already like the vibe.

1791
01:02:33,329 --> 01:02:35,329
And so it it grew from there. And

1792
01:02:35,329 --> 01:02:36,949
when Mhmm. As long distance, we

1793
01:02:37,329 --> 01:02:39,030
added visits to it. And our

1794
01:02:39,409 --> 01:02:42,210
long distance for us was highly sexual. We

1795
01:02:42,210 --> 01:02:44,289
were way more sexual in our power exchange

1796
01:02:44,289 --> 01:02:45,775
while while we were long distance than we

1797
01:02:45,775 --> 01:02:48,494
have been since Yeah. Being living together. Yeah.

1798
01:02:48,494 --> 01:02:50,755
And that's eleven years. We moved in together

1799
01:02:51,054 --> 01:02:52,114
June 2014.

1800
01:02:53,695 --> 01:02:55,855
And we had some sexy fun times in

1801
01:02:55,855 --> 01:02:56,940
the beginning. We had a lot

1802
01:02:57,900 --> 01:02:59,519
more energy eleven years ago. Yeah.

1803
01:03:03,099 --> 01:03:05,099
But the the day to day life of

1804
01:03:05,099 --> 01:03:07,659
it, it became less it's way less focused

1805
01:03:07,659 --> 01:03:09,500
on sex. Like, sex for us is kinky

1806
01:03:09,500 --> 01:03:11,119
sex, but our fuckery

1807
01:03:11,420 --> 01:03:13,625
almost never has sex involved. We'll do impact

1808
01:03:13,625 --> 01:03:15,065
scenes. We'll do this scene, that scene, and

1809
01:03:15,065 --> 01:03:16,664
and no sex is involved at all. Right.

1810
01:03:16,664 --> 01:03:18,204
But long distance for us,

1811
01:03:18,664 --> 01:03:19,244
so much

1812
01:03:19,784 --> 01:03:20,844
so much sex.

1813
01:03:23,465 --> 01:03:25,224
I wish I could give good advice for

1814
01:03:25,224 --> 01:03:27,130
people who are in nonsexual park exchange long

1815
01:03:27,130 --> 01:03:28,969
distance. I think you just play with your

1816
01:03:28,969 --> 01:03:30,570
dynamic like what kind of sub are you,

1817
01:03:30,570 --> 01:03:31,710
what kind of dom are you.

1818
01:03:32,010 --> 01:03:34,409
It's a lot of talking. Yeah. Whether you're

1819
01:03:34,409 --> 01:03:36,349
verbalizing it or you're typing it

1820
01:03:36,809 --> 01:03:39,210
or whatever. It's a lot of communication and

1821
01:03:39,210 --> 01:03:40,670
it's a lot of imagination.

1822
01:03:41,344 --> 01:03:44,244
JB could spin up via text, via email,

1823
01:03:44,385 --> 01:03:46,464
did not matter, could spin up a whole

1824
01:03:46,464 --> 01:03:48,144
fantasy for me of what he was gonna

1825
01:03:48,144 --> 01:03:49,344
do to me and what he wished he

1826
01:03:49,344 --> 01:03:50,964
could do to me. And

1827
01:03:51,744 --> 01:03:53,444
that worked too, you know.

1828
01:03:54,619 --> 01:03:57,260
We had whole fantasy kinks. Now thankfully, he

1829
01:03:57,260 --> 01:03:58,700
learned real quick. I don't dirty talk. I

1830
01:03:58,700 --> 01:04:00,059
don't know what I'm doing. I feel very

1831
01:04:00,059 --> 01:04:02,140
awkward. What? I don't what am I supposed

1832
01:04:02,300 --> 01:04:03,739
I don't know. I don't know. I don't

1833
01:04:03,739 --> 01:04:05,660
know what I'm supposed to say. And so

1834
01:04:05,660 --> 01:04:08,300
then I freeze. So he was very okay

1835
01:04:08,300 --> 01:04:10,894
with spinning up the conversation via text and

1836
01:04:10,894 --> 01:04:11,554
me going,

1837
01:04:13,534 --> 01:04:15,614
or I didn't speak quite an emoji, then

1838
01:04:15,614 --> 01:04:17,534
we didn't have quite as many emojis even

1839
01:04:17,534 --> 01:04:18,735
in 2013

1840
01:04:18,735 --> 01:04:20,974
as we do now. But if an emoji

1841
01:04:20,974 --> 01:04:23,159
could fit, I would and he would just

1842
01:04:23,159 --> 01:04:24,780
keep going. Thank god.

1843
01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,579
You know, I've always felt kind of lucky

1844
01:04:29,719 --> 01:04:31,420
in that to to not

1845
01:04:32,199 --> 01:04:34,039
not be comfortable with, not like, not do

1846
01:04:34,039 --> 01:04:35,500
dirty talk. I just can't.

1847
01:04:37,114 --> 01:04:38,875
And I've I've always been felt like I

1848
01:04:38,875 --> 01:04:40,474
was lucky to be the submissive because you

1849
01:04:40,474 --> 01:04:42,394
could just take the reins and say the

1850
01:04:42,394 --> 01:04:44,155
shit, and I just had to kind of

1851
01:04:44,155 --> 01:04:46,094
respond to let you know I was engaged

1852
01:04:46,155 --> 01:04:47,835
with you know, I was paying attention. I

1853
01:04:47,835 --> 01:04:49,514
was into it. Oh, man. But, like, as

1854
01:04:49,514 --> 01:04:50,094
a submissive,

1855
01:04:50,809 --> 01:04:52,889
sometimes there's no fucking expectation that you say

1856
01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:53,949
a goddamn word.

1857
01:04:54,489 --> 01:04:56,010
And I know you might think I find

1858
01:04:56,010 --> 01:04:58,650
that, difficult, but not in those moments. I

1859
01:04:58,650 --> 01:05:00,170
was grateful. I was like, nope. I'm I

1860
01:05:00,170 --> 01:05:01,710
don't even have to say anything.

1861
01:05:02,090 --> 01:05:04,409
I'm I'm needed here, but I'm not needed

1862
01:05:04,409 --> 01:05:05,630
here, if you know what I mean.

1863
01:05:06,704 --> 01:05:07,445
So, yeah,

1864
01:05:08,545 --> 01:05:10,864
it's the there was a lot of sexual

1865
01:05:10,864 --> 01:05:12,545
stuff. Once we decided we were gonna move

1866
01:05:12,545 --> 01:05:14,224
in together and we mapped out a plan,

1867
01:05:14,224 --> 01:05:15,664
the first plan was he was gonna move

1868
01:05:15,664 --> 01:05:17,184
up there because I didn't wanna have to,

1869
01:05:17,184 --> 01:05:18,565
like, uproot the kids.

1870
01:05:19,025 --> 01:05:20,670
And then we realized we could not make

1871
01:05:20,670 --> 01:05:22,989
that work. Like, everything we tried, nothing worked.

1872
01:05:22,989 --> 01:05:24,909
Yeah. You could not find a job with

1873
01:05:24,909 --> 01:05:26,210
them. So frustrating.

1874
01:05:27,789 --> 01:05:30,030
And so then we started making plans for

1875
01:05:30,030 --> 01:05:31,469
me and the kids to move down to

1876
01:05:31,469 --> 01:05:33,364
the Tampa Bay area, and everything got easier

1877
01:05:33,364 --> 01:05:34,724
once we went that direction. It was like,

1878
01:05:34,724 --> 01:05:36,085
that was the direction we were supposed to

1879
01:05:36,085 --> 01:05:36,585
go.

1880
01:05:38,085 --> 01:05:40,585
And then there was more task oriented stuff

1881
01:05:40,804 --> 01:05:43,045
because we were we were already figuring out

1882
01:05:43,045 --> 01:05:46,260
how we divide labor between us anyway, but

1883
01:05:46,260 --> 01:05:48,099
I you know, JB could go, hey. I'm

1884
01:05:48,099 --> 01:05:49,539
gonna need you to do blah, and I

1885
01:05:49,539 --> 01:05:51,059
would go, okay. And then there I was

1886
01:05:51,059 --> 01:05:53,460
being all submissive. Right? Yes. I was helping

1887
01:05:53,460 --> 01:05:56,099
to plan our own future. Sure. But the

1888
01:05:56,099 --> 01:05:57,860
mindset was like, I'm doing this for my

1889
01:05:57,860 --> 01:05:58,920
daddy. You know?

1890
01:06:01,565 --> 01:06:03,424
But it's long distance.

1891
01:06:04,045 --> 01:06:04,784
Get ready

1892
01:06:05,324 --> 01:06:08,144
in whatever way you communicate best to communicate

1893
01:06:08,684 --> 01:06:09,664
a fuck ton.

1894
01:06:10,125 --> 01:06:10,625
Imagination

1895
01:06:11,085 --> 01:06:13,984
kinda stuff, the fantasy stuff, and also the

1896
01:06:14,390 --> 01:06:15,910
how was your day, what are you doing,

1897
01:06:15,910 --> 01:06:17,510
what what does life look like for you

1898
01:06:17,510 --> 01:06:18,010
today,

1899
01:06:18,309 --> 01:06:21,050
and whatever your power exchange ends up being.

1900
01:06:21,190 --> 01:06:22,949
You know? I want you to do this

1901
01:06:22,949 --> 01:06:24,550
thing every day for me. That was his

1902
01:06:24,550 --> 01:06:26,789
thing. Every morning, he would pick my panties.

1903
01:06:26,789 --> 01:06:29,030
Every morning, my before I got dressed for

1904
01:06:29,030 --> 01:06:30,344
work, I had to send him a picture

1905
01:06:30,344 --> 01:06:31,864
of me wearing those panties. I had a

1906
01:06:31,864 --> 01:06:33,085
great mirror closet

1907
01:06:33,465 --> 01:06:35,164
closet with a mirror door,

1908
01:06:35,465 --> 01:06:37,625
full length, really wide. I could get some

1909
01:06:37,625 --> 01:06:39,625
great angles. I should have been taking more

1910
01:06:39,625 --> 01:06:40,824
pictures then. But I

1911
01:06:42,025 --> 01:06:44,445
anybody who knows me from all the

1912
01:06:44,889 --> 01:06:46,809
booty pics I used to post on Instagram,

1913
01:06:46,809 --> 01:06:48,989
me and my underwear, that's where that started

1914
01:06:49,449 --> 01:06:50,510
doing it for JV.

1915
01:06:52,010 --> 01:06:53,849
I don't have good lighting or good mirrors

1916
01:06:53,849 --> 01:06:55,369
anymore, and I don't like how the pictures

1917
01:06:55,369 --> 01:06:56,750
come out, so I don't do it anymore.

1918
01:06:57,050 --> 01:06:59,224
Also I barely wear underwear. So whatever whatever.

1919
01:07:01,204 --> 01:07:02,904
But, yeah, I mean, it just it developed

1920
01:07:02,964 --> 01:07:05,385
over time. And wherever JB could take control

1921
01:07:05,444 --> 01:07:07,844
that made sense Yeah. We negotiate it and

1922
01:07:07,844 --> 01:07:10,085
I'd let him. Wherever I'm a service that

1923
01:07:10,085 --> 01:07:11,605
I find it. I think I think service

1924
01:07:11,605 --> 01:07:13,170
that's have it easier because I could be

1925
01:07:13,170 --> 01:07:14,769
like, I'll do that for you and I'm

1926
01:07:14,769 --> 01:07:16,550
in my submissive mindset.

1927
01:07:17,089 --> 01:07:18,769
But I would do I would take on

1928
01:07:18,769 --> 01:07:21,829
as many tasks as I could for him.

1929
01:07:22,369 --> 01:07:23,969
You know, long distance was harder. There's a

1930
01:07:23,969 --> 01:07:25,250
lot more research. I think once I did

1931
01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:26,710
call your dentist for you.

1932
01:07:28,695 --> 01:07:31,195
I think you're right. Yeah. I did. Yeah.

1933
01:07:32,855 --> 01:07:33,974
That's when I had a job where I

1934
01:07:33,974 --> 01:07:35,015
had to talk on the phone, so it

1935
01:07:35,015 --> 01:07:36,695
was no stretch for me to pick up

1936
01:07:36,695 --> 01:07:39,255
a phone and call a random number and,

1937
01:07:39,255 --> 01:07:40,474
like, just talk to somebody.

1938
01:07:41,390 --> 01:07:43,390
But, you know, that's how that's how we

1939
01:07:43,390 --> 01:07:45,150
did it. Mhmm. And it was little by

1940
01:07:45,150 --> 01:07:48,190
little over time adding more and more, and

1941
01:07:48,190 --> 01:07:50,269
at some point deciding we don't wanna be

1942
01:07:50,269 --> 01:07:51,869
apart anymore. We don't want this to be

1943
01:07:51,869 --> 01:07:54,025
visits every, like, six to eight weeks. We

1944
01:07:54,025 --> 01:07:56,445
wanna be together every day. Mhmm.

1945
01:07:56,985 --> 01:07:57,644
And then

1946
01:07:58,105 --> 01:07:58,764
we started

1947
01:07:59,224 --> 01:08:00,905
mapping out life of what that would look

1948
01:08:00,905 --> 01:08:02,264
like and how we were gonna get there.

1949
01:08:02,264 --> 01:08:04,344
Excuse me. And I think that's that is

1950
01:08:04,344 --> 01:08:05,644
probably when we started

1951
01:08:05,945 --> 01:08:08,550
when our power exchange just became interwoven through

1952
01:08:08,550 --> 01:08:09,289
the relationship.

1953
01:08:09,910 --> 01:08:11,930
Because everything we did just had

1954
01:08:12,309 --> 01:08:12,809
the

1955
01:08:13,430 --> 01:08:13,930
the

1956
01:08:15,269 --> 01:08:17,609
flavor of power exchange. Mhmm. Because

1957
01:08:17,989 --> 01:08:20,204
you've been the decider from day one. If

1958
01:08:20,204 --> 01:08:22,465
there's a decision to be made, I'm gonna

1959
01:08:22,524 --> 01:08:23,585
defer to you.

1960
01:08:24,045 --> 01:08:25,685
And so even in the move, I would

1961
01:08:25,805 --> 01:08:27,405
I knew what I wanted and needed and

1962
01:08:27,405 --> 01:08:29,024
required, like, as a parent,

1963
01:08:29,564 --> 01:08:31,324
but I was still gonna bring him the

1964
01:08:31,324 --> 01:08:33,005
options and be like, what do you wanna

1965
01:08:33,005 --> 01:08:34,949
do, daddy? And that's where he was in

1966
01:08:35,030 --> 01:08:36,890
his dominant self a lot.

1967
01:08:37,510 --> 01:08:39,050
Because once we got to the

1968
01:08:39,510 --> 01:08:41,590
stress of, like, picking up lives and moving

1969
01:08:41,590 --> 01:08:42,650
and all of that stuff,

1970
01:08:43,110 --> 01:08:44,650
we were still sexual, but

1971
01:08:45,110 --> 01:08:47,449
it does put a damper on us. So,

1972
01:08:50,185 --> 01:08:51,085
yeah, that's

1973
01:08:52,505 --> 01:08:54,045
that's how we did that.

1974
01:08:56,024 --> 01:08:57,864
And I'm you know, I know it's the

1975
01:08:57,864 --> 01:08:59,304
boring answer. I know it can be the

1976
01:08:59,304 --> 01:09:01,484
very dissatisfying answer. People,

1977
01:09:01,944 --> 01:09:03,960
like, kinda were like, ugh. I just want

1978
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:05,579
this to have happened ten minutes ago.

1979
01:09:06,039 --> 01:09:07,960
Goddamn. Talk to somebody that you vibe with,

1980
01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:10,359
that you like talking to. Right? Like, whether

1981
01:09:10,359 --> 01:09:13,079
that's through DMs or just on social or

1982
01:09:13,079 --> 01:09:14,219
in person, like,

1983
01:09:14,814 --> 01:09:16,895
and you you're not always gonna know right

1984
01:09:16,895 --> 01:09:18,814
away if the vibe is right. Like, I've

1985
01:09:18,814 --> 01:09:20,895
come across people and because of my head

1986
01:09:20,895 --> 01:09:22,435
space, because of their head space,

1987
01:09:23,055 --> 01:09:25,135
I didn't I didn't know I didn't think

1988
01:09:25,135 --> 01:09:26,850
that was a bad vibe. Those are different.

1989
01:09:26,850 --> 01:09:28,609
If I get a bad vibe, you very

1990
01:09:28,609 --> 01:09:30,609
rarely get a second chance with me. But

1991
01:09:30,609 --> 01:09:32,210
there was no vibe, and so I didn't

1992
01:09:32,210 --> 01:09:33,510
know. And it was polite conversation.

1993
01:09:34,210 --> 01:09:35,729
And then the next time I came across

1994
01:09:35,729 --> 01:09:37,250
them, I was in a different headspace. They

1995
01:09:37,250 --> 01:09:39,010
were in a different whatever. And then you

1996
01:09:39,010 --> 01:09:40,289
could tell if the vibe was good. If

1997
01:09:40,289 --> 01:09:42,795
the vibe is good, just keep chatting. Like,

1998
01:09:42,795 --> 01:09:45,435
again, without the, this is gonna be my

1999
01:09:45,435 --> 01:09:47,835
next kinky partner. Like, you don't know. You

2000
01:09:47,835 --> 01:09:48,574
don't know.

2001
01:09:49,195 --> 01:09:50,795
You know? If you start making those plans

2002
01:09:50,795 --> 01:09:52,715
after the first conversation, but by the fourth

2003
01:09:52,715 --> 01:09:55,135
conversation, you're like, oh my god. This person,

2004
01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:58,280
do I need to call somebody on this

2005
01:09:58,280 --> 01:09:59,960
part? You know what I mean? Like, the

2006
01:09:59,960 --> 01:10:01,180
vibe is all wrong.

2007
01:10:02,199 --> 01:10:05,260
You know? Now there's disappointment or you've you're

2008
01:10:05,319 --> 01:10:08,055
now having to extricate yourself out of situations

2009
01:10:08,055 --> 01:10:09,735
that you would never put yourself in if

2010
01:10:09,735 --> 01:10:11,015
you had known what they were like. You

2011
01:10:11,015 --> 01:10:12,555
know what I mean? Just just

2012
01:10:13,175 --> 01:10:15,335
just fucking be friends with folks. Like, get

2013
01:10:15,335 --> 01:10:17,494
to know just talk to them. I say

2014
01:10:17,494 --> 01:10:19,195
that as somebody doesn't wanna talk to anybody.

2015
01:10:19,735 --> 01:10:21,095
I'm telling you, if I could tell you

2016
01:10:21,095 --> 01:10:22,430
how to get in a time machine and

2017
01:10:22,430 --> 01:10:24,270
go back to 2012 and start a sex

2018
01:10:24,270 --> 01:10:24,770
blog

2019
01:10:25,310 --> 01:10:27,630
when we were when people still commented on

2020
01:10:27,630 --> 01:10:28,130
blogs,

2021
01:10:29,070 --> 01:10:31,229
I did figure out that part of my

2022
01:10:31,229 --> 01:10:33,810
blogging thing was the dopamine rush of

2023
01:10:34,765 --> 01:10:37,085
people commenting Mhmm. When it was positive. When

2024
01:10:37,085 --> 01:10:37,905
it was positive.

2025
01:10:38,445 --> 01:10:40,364
And I don't get that from blogging anymore.

2026
01:10:40,364 --> 01:10:42,925
Very few people comment. And so now for

2027
01:10:42,925 --> 01:10:44,765
different reasons, but one of those reasons is

2028
01:10:45,005 --> 01:10:47,289
Mhmm. It's not as interesting to me if

2029
01:10:47,289 --> 01:10:48,430
I'm always talking

2030
01:10:49,730 --> 01:10:50,230
to

2031
01:10:51,530 --> 01:10:53,449
me. But, yeah, I exit it in live

2032
01:10:53,449 --> 01:10:55,229
chat. Talk to people without expectations.

2033
01:10:55,530 --> 01:10:57,850
Yeah. This idea is to just are they

2034
01:10:57,850 --> 01:10:59,530
an interesting human that I would like to

2035
01:10:59,530 --> 01:11:01,550
be around again at the next month? Or

2036
01:11:02,015 --> 01:11:04,034
to be around them because they're an interesting

2037
01:11:04,095 --> 01:11:07,155
human, not because they're your soulmate in disguise

2038
01:11:07,375 --> 01:11:08,595
and, you know,

2039
01:11:09,295 --> 01:11:10,975
if you get in there real fast, you'll

2040
01:11:10,975 --> 01:11:11,875
figure like,

2041
01:11:13,614 --> 01:11:15,935
it's a very dissatisfying answer. I know. I

2042
01:11:15,935 --> 01:11:17,155
know. I know.

2043
01:11:17,640 --> 01:11:18,699
And I think that

2044
01:11:19,239 --> 01:11:20,679
the the dynamic shifts a little bit if

2045
01:11:20,679 --> 01:11:21,960
where you're at is, let's say, a play

2046
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:22,460
party

2047
01:11:23,000 --> 01:11:25,399
or a dungeon where there's a heightened, like,

2048
01:11:25,399 --> 01:11:27,000
half these people are naked and there's a

2049
01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,895
lot of screaming and crying consensually. And, like,

2050
01:11:29,895 --> 01:11:32,314
that's a different vibe, and you might be

2051
01:11:32,614 --> 01:11:33,914
more in your

2052
01:11:35,095 --> 01:11:37,255
play mode than in your Mhmm. Get to

2053
01:11:37,255 --> 01:11:39,734
know you mode. And, you know, there's nothing

2054
01:11:39,734 --> 01:11:42,155
wrong with starting there, but, you know,

2055
01:11:42,854 --> 01:11:44,610
because I I Gotta start somewhere. I I

2056
01:11:44,610 --> 01:11:46,689
get that. Like, that's a whole, like, oh,

2057
01:11:46,689 --> 01:11:49,489
I'm gonna watch this person quail on that

2058
01:11:49,489 --> 01:11:51,810
person, and I'm feeling all kinds of things

2059
01:11:51,810 --> 01:11:53,170
about that. And, oh, they're gonna come talk

2060
01:11:53,170 --> 01:11:53,970
to me now. Like, that's

2061
01:11:54,930 --> 01:11:56,689
but even then, you're talking to them because

2062
01:11:56,689 --> 01:11:57,975
you think they're interesting, or you're talking to

2063
01:11:57,975 --> 01:11:59,255
them because you think they were good at

2064
01:11:59,255 --> 01:12:00,635
whatever you saw them do.

2065
01:12:01,015 --> 01:12:03,095
No expectation that you're gonna be their next

2066
01:12:03,095 --> 01:12:04,875
one. You know what I mean? I just

2067
01:12:07,015 --> 01:12:07,515
anyway.

2068
01:12:09,015 --> 01:12:10,074
Anyway. Anyhoo.

2069
01:12:10,614 --> 01:12:12,715
Those were all the questions. Okay.

2070
01:12:13,020 --> 01:12:15,520
Thank y'all for those of you who submitted

2071
01:12:15,899 --> 01:12:18,479
them. They're really interesting. Good questions. Good questions.

2072
01:12:19,099 --> 01:12:20,859
As usual with a q and a, my

2073
01:12:20,859 --> 01:12:21,679
throat hurts.

2074
01:12:22,699 --> 01:12:23,979
I'm trying to get back to it. I

2075
01:12:23,979 --> 01:12:25,979
do think that was the last one. Pretty

2076
01:12:25,979 --> 01:12:26,479
positive.

2077
01:12:28,675 --> 01:12:30,774
Yeah. That was it. Mhmm.

2078
01:12:33,875 --> 01:12:36,034
That's all we got. Okay. So are we,

2079
01:12:36,595 --> 01:12:38,595
good? Well, we will go into a bonus

2080
01:12:38,595 --> 01:12:41,015
section. Yes. I guess we are. Okay. Okay.

2081
01:12:41,235 --> 01:12:43,155
Keep it kinky, y'all. We'll see you next

2082
01:12:43,155 --> 01:12:45,020
week at 3PM

2083
01:12:45,020 --> 01:12:45,520
Eastern.

2084
01:12:55,100 --> 01:12:57,260
Dada. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to

2085
01:12:57,260 --> 01:12:58,399
the crickets? Sure.

2086
01:12:59,465 --> 01:13:00,364
Podcast listeners

2087
01:13:00,744 --> 01:13:01,724
at 3PM

2088
01:13:01,944 --> 01:13:03,625
is meaningless to you if you only listen.

2089
01:13:03,625 --> 01:13:05,465
It's still Friday for y'all, but we are

2090
01:13:05,465 --> 01:13:08,125
changing our livestream time. So just a reminder,

2091
01:13:08,344 --> 01:13:10,024
3PM. Do you wanna know what I've been

2092
01:13:10,024 --> 01:13:11,625
wanting to say every time I said 3PM?

2093
01:13:11,625 --> 01:13:13,800
What? I know we're in Eastern. Been in

2094
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:16,159
Eastern all this time. My brain keeps on

2095
01:13:16,159 --> 01:13:17,020
and say Central.

2096
01:13:17,720 --> 01:13:19,640
I don't know why. I've not lived in

2097
01:13:19,640 --> 01:13:21,020
Central time zone since

2098
01:13:21,479 --> 01:13:22,300
2014.

2099
01:13:23,159 --> 01:13:23,659
True.

2100
01:13:24,520 --> 01:13:26,475
But for like two days, every time I've

2101
01:13:26,475 --> 01:13:29,215
thought of a time, my brain is like,

2102
01:13:29,435 --> 01:13:29,935
central.

2103
01:13:30,554 --> 01:13:31,774
No. Not central.

2104
01:13:32,475 --> 01:13:34,795
That is how we start mass confusion with

2105
01:13:34,795 --> 01:13:35,295
everybody.

2106
01:13:35,755 --> 01:13:37,594
I gotta at least keep the time zone

2107
01:13:37,594 --> 01:13:38,094
straight.

2108
01:13:41,010 --> 01:13:41,510
So

2109
01:13:42,289 --> 01:13:43,969
what you got for the bonus section? Are

2110
01:13:43,969 --> 01:13:46,229
you ready to talk about your tummy? Yeah.

2111
01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:47,750
Yeah.

2112
01:13:48,849 --> 01:13:49,349
Yeah.

2113
01:13:51,250 --> 01:13:53,324
We're waiting for the the office call so

2114
01:13:53,324 --> 01:13:55,085
he can go get a CT scan. Right.

2115
01:13:55,085 --> 01:13:56,204
We've been waiting for a day and a

2116
01:13:56,204 --> 01:13:58,604
half. The for those of you remember, a

2117
01:13:58,604 --> 01:13:59,664
month or so back,

2118
01:14:00,685 --> 01:14:01,985
I had some tests done.

2119
01:14:03,324 --> 01:14:04,625
Month feeling so hot.

2120
01:14:05,485 --> 01:14:07,645
First thing they said was heart. Mhmm. They

2121
01:14:07,645 --> 01:14:09,719
wanted to rule that out, and they did.

2122
01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:10,279
Everything

2123
01:14:11,060 --> 01:14:11,560
cardiovascular,

2124
01:14:12,099 --> 01:14:13,159
all that is good.

2125
01:14:13,619 --> 01:14:15,300
I can't wait till we can stop paying

2126
01:14:15,300 --> 01:14:17,319
on the payment plan for it. Right. Yeah.

2127
01:14:17,939 --> 01:14:18,439
Yeah.

2128
01:14:19,060 --> 01:14:21,800
And they put me on medication for GERD,

2129
01:14:22,340 --> 01:14:24,314
is it called? G e r d. I

2130
01:14:24,314 --> 01:14:25,795
don't remember what all the letters stand for.

2131
01:14:25,914 --> 01:14:26,414
Either.

2132
01:14:27,034 --> 01:14:29,274
And and it did help Mhmm. For a

2133
01:14:29,274 --> 01:14:29,774
while

2134
01:14:30,234 --> 01:14:32,015
until it stopped helping.

2135
01:14:32,395 --> 01:14:32,895
Mhmm.

2136
01:14:33,354 --> 01:14:33,854
So,

2137
01:14:34,475 --> 01:14:36,814
day before yesterday, it was really bad.

2138
01:14:39,270 --> 01:14:40,250
I told Kayla,

2139
01:14:41,109 --> 01:14:42,469
I need to see a doctor. I'm willing

2140
01:14:42,469 --> 01:14:44,409
to see a doctor now. Yeah.

2141
01:14:44,789 --> 01:14:46,489
So I called for him. Right.

2142
01:14:46,949 --> 01:14:48,250
And, went in,

2143
01:14:49,029 --> 01:14:51,109
and we're talking back and forth. And,

2144
01:14:52,585 --> 01:14:54,664
then they started do you still have your

2145
01:14:54,664 --> 01:14:55,164
gallbladder?

2146
01:14:56,984 --> 01:14:59,564
You. Mhmm. For now at least. Yeah.

2147
01:15:00,184 --> 01:15:02,444
And, you know, possible ulcer.

2148
01:15:03,145 --> 01:15:05,564
And so, you know, they wanna do a

2149
01:15:06,679 --> 01:15:07,179
abdomen

2150
01:15:07,479 --> 01:15:11,020
ish CT scan. Pelvis and abdomen. Yeah. CT.

2151
01:15:11,479 --> 01:15:11,979
And,

2152
01:15:13,479 --> 01:15:14,300
kind of,

2153
01:15:15,800 --> 01:15:17,800
in limbo, was supposed to waiting for the

2154
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:20,679
call today. Yeah. Our doctor wanted him to

2155
01:15:20,679 --> 01:15:23,395
the best of possibility to do it Yesterday.

2156
01:15:23,715 --> 01:15:25,074
The day of the appointment, which was the

2157
01:15:25,074 --> 01:15:26,055
day before recording.

2158
01:15:26,435 --> 01:15:26,914
They

2159
01:15:27,475 --> 01:15:29,875
thankfully, our doctor's office is connected to a

2160
01:15:29,875 --> 01:15:31,314
lab that's all in house. It's a medical

2161
01:15:31,314 --> 01:15:32,135
center. Mhmm.

2162
01:15:32,675 --> 01:15:34,435
So they send us down the hallway for

2163
01:15:34,435 --> 01:15:35,814
him to get some lab work.

2164
01:15:36,770 --> 01:15:38,369
I won't tell the other part, but that

2165
01:15:38,369 --> 01:15:40,289
part is cute if you wanna share it.

2166
01:15:40,289 --> 01:15:40,949
Yeah. No.

2167
01:15:41,810 --> 01:15:42,310
Damn.

2168
01:15:42,770 --> 01:15:45,110
Oh, it's so adorable, but I I won't.

2169
01:15:45,170 --> 01:15:45,670
Anyway

2170
01:15:46,050 --> 01:15:47,970
Thank you. Lab work. And so then we're

2171
01:15:47,970 --> 01:15:50,229
waiting for the results because they had explained

2172
01:15:50,885 --> 01:15:52,345
we're gonna have to get authorization

2173
01:15:52,965 --> 01:15:55,604
for the CT scan, meaning from insurance. Yeah.

2174
01:15:55,604 --> 01:15:58,244
And they won't give authorization till lab results

2175
01:15:58,244 --> 01:16:00,645
are in. And so our doctor took this

2176
01:16:00,645 --> 01:16:03,525
seriously enough that she was rushing everything. Everything

2177
01:16:03,525 --> 01:16:04,345
was stat.

2178
01:16:04,729 --> 01:16:06,489
So we're like, okay. And we're sitting in

2179
01:16:06,489 --> 01:16:08,170
limbo. We're at the office waiting for somebody

2180
01:16:08,170 --> 01:16:09,770
to come say, okay. We're gonna schedule your

2181
01:16:09,770 --> 01:16:11,070
CT scan for

2182
01:16:11,610 --> 01:16:12,670
or okay.

2183
01:16:13,369 --> 01:16:16,829
Whatever. Whatever. Nobody comes. Nobody comes. Finally, the

2184
01:16:17,965 --> 01:16:20,284
assistant to the doctor comes. It's like, okay.

2185
01:16:20,284 --> 01:16:22,524
We're gonna let you go home because nothing's

2186
01:16:22,524 --> 01:16:24,364
happening as quickly as we wanted it to.

2187
01:16:24,364 --> 01:16:26,284
Right. Here's what you need to prep for

2188
01:16:26,284 --> 01:16:29,005
the CT. Mhmm. They're gonna call you and

2189
01:16:29,005 --> 01:16:30,890
give you a time to come in. We're

2190
01:16:30,890 --> 01:16:32,350
gonna try and make it for

2191
01:16:32,890 --> 01:16:35,449
Wednesday, the day we're recording. I did not

2192
01:16:35,449 --> 01:16:37,550
call you. I I spent my whole day

2193
01:16:37,850 --> 01:16:39,149
pretty much on hold

2194
01:16:41,130 --> 01:16:42,510
waiting for the phone call.

2195
01:16:43,805 --> 01:16:45,965
And I say on hold, I I wasn't

2196
01:16:45,965 --> 01:16:48,045
doing nothing, but I was You're still in

2197
01:16:48,045 --> 01:16:50,445
that place of, like, anticipate I was doing

2198
01:16:50,445 --> 01:16:52,045
little things that I could just drop in

2199
01:16:52,045 --> 01:16:53,185
a Right. Exactly.

2200
01:16:54,125 --> 01:16:54,625
And,

2201
01:16:56,180 --> 01:16:57,860
so, yeah, it didn't happen. And,

2202
01:16:58,579 --> 01:17:00,739
you know, yeah, kinda waiting on the insurance

2203
01:17:00,739 --> 01:17:04,579
now, it seems. Probably. Yeah. Knowing insurance companies.

2204
01:17:04,579 --> 01:17:06,820
Mhmm. Mhmm. Because it's often a, well, did

2205
01:17:06,820 --> 01:17:08,984
you do all these other 10,000,000 things

2206
01:17:09,385 --> 01:17:11,225
that aren't as effective as this one test

2207
01:17:11,225 --> 01:17:12,984
the doctor wants to do? But there's also

2208
01:17:12,984 --> 01:17:16,024
human error. The our doctor was on it,

2209
01:17:16,024 --> 01:17:17,864
and and everybody in her office was on

2210
01:17:17,864 --> 01:17:19,164
it yesterday afternoon.

2211
01:17:19,784 --> 01:17:21,720
But if they weren't still on it because

2212
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,119
they've got patients coming in and they've handed

2213
01:17:24,119 --> 01:17:25,880
it off to whoever does the scheduling of

2214
01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:27,800
the lab, that might have fallen through cracks.

2215
01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:29,720
They might not realize this is because they

2216
01:17:29,720 --> 01:17:31,479
were saying, when you go get your CT

2217
01:17:31,479 --> 01:17:33,015
scan, when you are done with your CT

2218
01:17:33,095 --> 01:17:34,614
scan, which is at another building, you're gonna

2219
01:17:34,614 --> 01:17:36,534
drive back over here. Over here. Yeah. And

2220
01:17:36,534 --> 01:17:38,055
and let them know you're here to see

2221
01:17:38,055 --> 01:17:40,215
the doctor, and you will be seen in

2222
01:17:40,215 --> 01:17:43,175
between whoever whoever. Like, that's how seriously the

2223
01:17:43,175 --> 01:17:45,494
doctor was taking it. Yeah. I don't want

2224
01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:47,569
it to be an insurance problem, but it

2225
01:17:47,569 --> 01:17:49,510
probably is. I won't be surprised.

2226
01:17:50,369 --> 01:17:51,969
Yep. And I'm like, I hope you will

2227
01:17:51,969 --> 01:17:54,050
let us add on to your current payment

2228
01:17:54,050 --> 01:17:56,789
plan. We haven't met our deductible yet. And,

2229
01:17:57,090 --> 01:17:58,849
you know, we still get, like, air quote,

2230
01:17:58,849 --> 01:18:01,670
this big old air quotes discounted prices.

2231
01:18:02,555 --> 01:18:04,715
But a CT scan I know for an

2232
01:18:04,715 --> 01:18:07,595
MRI, they quoted me 3 or $400 with

2233
01:18:07,595 --> 01:18:09,755
our insurance plan. I don't know if a

2234
01:18:09,755 --> 01:18:11,435
CT scan would be less than, same as,

2235
01:18:11,435 --> 01:18:12,975
or more. Yeah. Your echocardiogram

2236
01:18:13,515 --> 01:18:16,555
between both procedures was about $500.

2237
01:18:16,555 --> 01:18:16,890
Yeah.

2238
01:18:17,449 --> 01:18:19,770
Yeah. About $500. Yeah. Maybe 6 no. It

2239
01:18:19,770 --> 01:18:21,390
was about 600.

2240
01:18:22,010 --> 01:18:23,210
It was something. I had to put it

2241
01:18:23,210 --> 01:18:24,890
on a payment plan. Yeah. And,

2242
01:18:26,010 --> 01:18:27,210
yeah. I do have to do the,

2243
01:18:27,930 --> 01:18:28,829
oral contrast.

2244
01:18:29,175 --> 01:18:31,414
Have the bottle sitting in the Pour it

2245
01:18:31,414 --> 01:18:33,354
into Powerade. Yep. Mhmm.

2246
01:18:34,295 --> 01:18:36,155
So, yeah, I will have to do that.

2247
01:18:36,215 --> 01:18:38,155
Yeah. Like, we're we're ready to go. Yep.

2248
01:18:39,255 --> 01:18:41,095
I just want some answers at this point.

2249
01:18:41,095 --> 01:18:43,015
I just wanna know really what the hell

2250
01:18:43,015 --> 01:18:45,219
was happening. I want you to find relief

2251
01:18:45,219 --> 01:18:47,460
and answers. But I think now I'm a

2252
01:18:47,460 --> 01:18:48,119
little bit

2253
01:18:48,579 --> 01:18:51,079
on edge is too strong. Like, it's

2254
01:18:51,460 --> 01:18:53,859
I'm personally fine. And as long as he's

2255
01:18:53,859 --> 01:18:57,060
doing mostly okay, I'm I'm good. But because

2256
01:18:57,060 --> 01:18:59,354
our doctor, who is very level headed, we

2257
01:19:00,234 --> 01:19:01,135
adore her, was

2258
01:19:01,435 --> 01:19:03,914
like, I want this information as fast as

2259
01:19:03,914 --> 01:19:05,215
you can get it to me.

2260
01:19:05,515 --> 01:19:07,055
Now I'm like, oh, wait.

2261
01:19:08,314 --> 01:19:10,475
No. Oh, okay. There she's trying to move

2262
01:19:10,475 --> 01:19:11,375
fast fast.

2263
01:19:12,639 --> 01:19:14,559
Should we be worried? I'm not gonna worry

2264
01:19:14,559 --> 01:19:16,239
until I have something to worry about. But

2265
01:19:16,239 --> 01:19:17,840
should we? Do I need to prep myself

2266
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:19,760
for worry? Sort of like when you were

2267
01:19:19,920 --> 01:19:20,399
because you

2268
01:19:21,119 --> 01:19:22,800
we were seeing whoever could fit you in

2269
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:24,805
when it first started. Right. And due to

2270
01:19:24,805 --> 01:19:27,125
age and medical history, they were like, heart.

2271
01:19:27,125 --> 01:19:29,284
It's your heart. And I was like, you're

2272
01:19:29,284 --> 01:19:31,524
gonna make my heart stop beating. Stop saying

2273
01:19:31,524 --> 01:19:32,024
that.

2274
01:19:32,805 --> 01:19:34,104
And that was a very

2275
01:19:35,364 --> 01:19:37,765
sort of, like, on edge moment because the

2276
01:19:37,765 --> 01:19:39,539
heart, that's serious. It's like crazy serious.

2277
01:19:40,500 --> 01:19:41,000
But

2278
01:19:41,699 --> 01:19:44,420
yeah. Her her urgency is making me feel

2279
01:19:44,420 --> 01:19:44,920
like

2280
01:19:45,619 --> 01:19:47,939
we need to be urgent about this. I'm

2281
01:19:47,939 --> 01:19:49,060
I'm trying not to,

2282
01:19:49,619 --> 01:19:51,619
No. Read into it too much. I'm just,

2283
01:19:51,619 --> 01:19:52,439
like, you know,

2284
01:19:52,945 --> 01:19:54,465
hopefully, she's thinking, well, you know, this has

2285
01:19:54,465 --> 01:19:56,784
been going on. Let's, you know, kinda push

2286
01:19:56,784 --> 01:19:58,564
this and get it Mhmm. Resolved.

2287
01:19:59,025 --> 01:20:01,104
That's how I'm seeing it. Well, and I

2288
01:20:01,104 --> 01:20:03,685
did think I saw her eyebrows raise

2289
01:20:04,145 --> 01:20:06,100
when you were like, the medication get for

2290
01:20:06,100 --> 01:20:08,739
GERD was working and now it's not. And

2291
01:20:08,739 --> 01:20:10,119
I think that's when she went,

2292
01:20:10,820 --> 01:20:13,320
wait. That's not supposed to happen. Yeah.

2293
01:20:13,940 --> 01:20:14,840
And yeah.

2294
01:20:15,460 --> 01:20:17,460
If she hadn't been so urgent Mhmm. I

2295
01:20:17,460 --> 01:20:18,979
think we'd be like, okay. It sucks. We

2296
01:20:18,979 --> 01:20:20,864
would like some answers. But okay. Yeah. Now

2297
01:20:20,864 --> 01:20:22,545
we're like, who's gonna call? When are they

2298
01:20:22,545 --> 01:20:23,364
gonna call?

2299
01:20:24,864 --> 01:20:26,625
Poor JB is taking his phone with him

2300
01:20:26,625 --> 01:20:28,465
everywhere. And if he has to, like, be

2301
01:20:28,465 --> 01:20:30,225
in the bathroom for anything, he's like, here

2302
01:20:30,225 --> 01:20:31,765
is my phone. Please babysit.

2303
01:20:33,185 --> 01:20:33,765
Mhmm. Yeah.

2304
01:20:34,545 --> 01:20:36,324
Now that's funny to me.

2305
01:20:38,439 --> 01:20:40,359
You waiting on a call from the doctor,

2306
01:20:40,359 --> 01:20:42,359
which would make sense. It is your medical

2307
01:20:42,359 --> 01:20:45,399
situation, your blah blah blah. But I am

2308
01:20:45,399 --> 01:20:46,760
the one who calls to make all the

2309
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:48,300
appointments. We use,

2310
01:20:48,755 --> 01:20:51,335
the online portal that our office has.

2311
01:20:51,954 --> 01:20:52,694
I send

2312
01:20:53,234 --> 01:20:54,854
all of the written messages.

2313
01:20:55,715 --> 01:20:57,795
I have to make sure because we are

2314
01:20:57,795 --> 01:20:59,154
both in the same portal, but with two

2315
01:20:59,154 --> 01:21:00,960
different logins. I have to make

2316
01:21:01,520 --> 01:21:03,760
sure I'm in I'm logged into the right

2317
01:21:03,760 --> 01:21:06,479
one and that I remember to write his

2318
01:21:06,479 --> 01:21:08,399
name at the end, like, because I'm of

2319
01:21:08,399 --> 01:21:10,079
course, I'm an old lady. I write it

2320
01:21:10,079 --> 01:21:12,560
like it's an email and not just like

2321
01:21:12,560 --> 01:21:15,604
a like, so I don't say, like, dear

2322
01:21:15,604 --> 01:21:17,284
doctor, whatever. I don't do that. But, like,

2323
01:21:17,284 --> 01:21:19,305
we sign it at the end. Thank you,

2324
01:21:20,005 --> 01:21:22,565
comma, name. Mhmm. And there have been a

2325
01:21:22,565 --> 01:21:25,604
couple times I've scared myself going, did I

2326
01:21:25,604 --> 01:21:27,329
put his name for this one? This was

2327
01:21:27,329 --> 01:21:28,070
his account.

2328
01:21:29,090 --> 01:21:31,250
But, yeah, I I have to remind myself

2329
01:21:31,250 --> 01:21:32,369
when we're in there because I'm used to

2330
01:21:32,369 --> 01:21:33,810
calling to go, here are the symptoms. Here's

2331
01:21:33,810 --> 01:21:35,729
what we need. Blah blah blah blah. Or

2332
01:21:35,729 --> 01:21:37,890
when I'm messaging, here are the symptoms. Can

2333
01:21:37,890 --> 01:21:39,329
we get a refill on this prescription? Blah

2334
01:21:39,329 --> 01:21:40,070
blah blah.

2335
01:21:40,474 --> 01:21:42,875
We're in the office. They know us freaking

2336
01:21:42,875 --> 01:21:44,474
frack. They know we come as a a

2337
01:21:44,474 --> 01:21:44,954
pair. We

2338
01:21:45,755 --> 01:21:47,434
you will never see one without the other

2339
01:21:47,434 --> 01:21:48,574
at the doctor's office.

2340
01:21:49,675 --> 01:21:51,755
I have to remember and hold myself back

2341
01:21:51,755 --> 01:21:52,494
from explaining

2342
01:21:52,860 --> 01:21:54,320
his symptoms to the doctor.

2343
01:21:56,140 --> 01:21:57,739
But it's a good thing I'm there because

2344
01:21:57,739 --> 01:21:59,979
he sometimes won't mention some of his symptoms.

2345
01:21:59,979 --> 01:22:02,140
And I'm like, tell her about the nausea.

2346
01:22:02,140 --> 01:22:03,199
Don't forget the nausea.

2347
01:22:05,434 --> 01:22:06,795
I just didn't want her to think I

2348
01:22:06,795 --> 01:22:08,335
was nuts on that one.

2349
01:22:09,514 --> 01:22:11,755
Well, that was not just I didn't think

2350
01:22:11,755 --> 01:22:13,614
you were gonna tell her about your sneeze

2351
01:22:14,554 --> 01:22:15,054
thing.

2352
01:22:15,514 --> 01:22:17,375
Would you like to explain that one?

2353
01:22:18,020 --> 01:22:19,939
You Googled it, so it's a phenomenon other

2354
01:22:19,939 --> 01:22:21,619
people have experienced. It is something that other

2355
01:22:21,619 --> 01:22:23,719
people have experienced. Like, I Googled it,

2356
01:22:25,539 --> 01:22:28,359
and, basically, what happens sometimes in the morning,

2357
01:22:28,979 --> 01:22:30,739
before I eat, I will feel a little

2358
01:22:30,739 --> 01:22:31,239
nausea.

2359
01:22:33,524 --> 01:22:36,164
It's not like, you know, I'm running to

2360
01:22:36,404 --> 01:22:38,805
Right. Somewhere but that sicky feeling. It's that

2361
01:22:38,805 --> 01:22:39,944
it's that feeling.

2362
01:22:40,484 --> 01:22:43,145
Well, it it just kinda sits there,

2363
01:22:44,404 --> 01:22:45,864
and and then I'll sneeze,

2364
01:22:47,340 --> 01:22:49,739
and it's gone. The nausea's gone. The nausea's

2365
01:22:49,739 --> 01:22:52,159
gone. Yeah. The look on her face,

2366
01:22:52,460 --> 01:22:54,560
which was because you could see her, like,

2367
01:22:54,619 --> 01:22:56,859
wheel spinning, like, okay, what mechanism would be

2368
01:22:56,859 --> 01:23:00,284
causing? Right. Is that really happening? I stumped

2369
01:23:00,284 --> 01:23:00,945
the doctor.

2370
01:23:02,204 --> 01:23:04,125
I was like, oh, and I'm looking at

2371
01:23:04,125 --> 01:23:06,125
her. I'm like, is he a medical marvel?

2372
01:23:06,125 --> 01:23:07,425
Is that what we're discovering?

2373
01:23:08,364 --> 01:23:09,805
And that's when I piped up. I said,

2374
01:23:09,805 --> 01:23:11,485
I'm not the only one. I Googled it.

2375
01:23:11,485 --> 01:23:12,065
I started.

2376
01:23:20,590 --> 01:23:22,690
We are a delight wherever we go together.

2377
01:23:22,750 --> 01:23:24,989
Yes. Yes. We are. Thank God for this

2378
01:23:24,989 --> 01:23:26,210
doctor. Right. Thank God.

2379
01:23:28,135 --> 01:23:30,454
So, yeah, that's, that's been that for this

2380
01:23:30,454 --> 01:23:32,695
week. And, you know, you just been kinda

2381
01:23:32,774 --> 01:23:34,695
you you may have been making a trip

2382
01:23:34,695 --> 01:23:36,235
to see the oldest this weekend.

2383
01:23:36,614 --> 01:23:38,954
Have to. Yeah. Oh, that's right. His medication

2384
01:23:39,590 --> 01:23:40,949
I still need to remind myself to go

2385
01:23:40,949 --> 01:23:43,109
pick up his medication from the pharmacy, and

2386
01:23:43,109 --> 01:23:44,949
then I would drive it to him. Which,

2387
01:23:44,949 --> 01:23:46,869
you know what? I can't even complain about

2388
01:23:46,869 --> 01:23:47,609
that because

2389
01:23:48,389 --> 01:23:50,389
now that he has more of a social

2390
01:23:50,389 --> 01:23:51,750
life than he had the first two years

2391
01:23:51,750 --> 01:23:54,255
of college, I never hear from this child.

2392
01:23:55,215 --> 01:23:57,875
Never ever hear from this child.

2393
01:24:00,654 --> 01:24:02,255
Wait. I think I was supposed to have

2394
01:24:02,255 --> 01:24:04,114
this experience when he was 18.

2395
01:24:04,414 --> 01:24:06,335
I got used to, like, hearing from my

2396
01:24:06,335 --> 01:24:07,375
kid. We

2397
01:24:07,854 --> 01:24:09,689
for freshman and sophomore year, he would text

2398
01:24:09,930 --> 01:24:11,609
not every day. We'd go several days without

2399
01:24:11,609 --> 01:24:13,449
text. But if I realized it had been

2400
01:24:13,449 --> 01:24:15,529
several so, like, five to six days without

2401
01:24:15,529 --> 01:24:16,189
a text,

2402
01:24:17,449 --> 01:24:19,449
no fail. By the seventh day he was

2403
01:24:19,449 --> 01:24:22,010
calling me, wanting to talk, mean something, blah

2404
01:24:22,010 --> 01:24:22,670
blah blah,

2405
01:24:23,284 --> 01:24:25,625
I do not hear from that child. And

2406
01:24:26,005 --> 01:24:28,265
I am finally on track to be

2407
01:24:28,645 --> 01:24:30,324
the parent who gets, like, one and two

2408
01:24:30,324 --> 01:24:32,885
word texts. I used to get books. Okay?

2409
01:24:32,885 --> 01:24:35,045
He needed somebody to talk to, and I

2410
01:24:35,045 --> 01:24:35,784
was there.

2411
01:24:36,405 --> 01:24:38,425
Now he's got actual, like, you know,

2412
01:24:39,750 --> 01:24:41,689
Pierce's own age. Goddamn.

2413
01:24:42,069 --> 01:24:44,090
Right. And now I have to, like, experience

2414
01:24:44,229 --> 01:24:47,130
this. Wait. My child does not need me?

2415
01:24:47,189 --> 01:24:47,689
Alright.

2416
01:24:48,229 --> 01:24:50,229
It's a it I was supposed to have

2417
01:24:50,229 --> 01:24:51,609
gone through this two years ago,

2418
01:24:53,829 --> 01:24:56,614
but it's it is weird. It's quiet. Mhmm.

2419
01:24:57,635 --> 01:24:58,114
So

2420
01:24:58,595 --> 01:24:59,095
Yeah.

2421
01:24:59,715 --> 01:25:02,694
Lola's doing good. She's sleeping by my feet.

2422
01:25:04,675 --> 01:25:06,755
Yeah. I heard her call her when she

2423
01:25:06,755 --> 01:25:08,430
shook her head or whatever. Yeah.

2424
01:25:09,390 --> 01:25:11,150
She's she's been doing good. She's,

2425
01:25:12,189 --> 01:25:13,789
Yeah. Knock on wood. It's been quiet with

2426
01:25:13,789 --> 01:25:16,750
the the girls. Mhmm. Onyx has become and

2427
01:25:16,750 --> 01:25:18,590
I say aggressive. I mean it in, like,

2428
01:25:18,590 --> 01:25:21,630
a friendly way. Yeah. Very aggressive with her

2429
01:25:21,630 --> 01:25:22,130
desire

2430
01:25:22,645 --> 01:25:24,425
for love and affection. Yes.

2431
01:25:24,885 --> 01:25:26,804
I'm still not allowed to pick this cat

2432
01:25:26,804 --> 01:25:28,965
up. Y'all, it's not like I do not

2433
01:25:28,965 --> 01:25:29,465
try.

2434
01:25:30,005 --> 01:25:31,925
JB has managed it, what, twice now? Twice

2435
01:25:31,925 --> 01:25:33,764
now. A little bit longer each time, but

2436
01:25:33,764 --> 01:25:34,979
not for very long. It's not like we're

2437
01:25:34,979 --> 01:25:37,220
walking around cuddling her. Ella, you can pick

2438
01:25:37,220 --> 01:25:38,500
up and hold her like she is a

2439
01:25:38,500 --> 01:25:39,539
baby. Yeah.

2440
01:25:40,180 --> 01:25:41,779
She tolerates it from the kids more than

2441
01:25:41,779 --> 01:25:42,680
from us. But

2442
01:25:43,060 --> 01:25:45,800
and Onyx is like, bitch, if you touch

2443
01:25:46,180 --> 01:25:47,939
if you come under the undercarriage while I'm

2444
01:25:47,939 --> 01:25:48,225
standing

2445
01:25:49,425 --> 01:25:50,645
here, I'm out the door.

2446
01:25:52,305 --> 01:25:53,445
But in the morning,

2447
01:25:54,064 --> 01:25:55,585
she follows me around the house, and she

2448
01:25:55,585 --> 01:25:56,805
has this very distinct

2449
01:25:57,664 --> 01:26:00,465
meow. And it you Mhmm. It's clear she's

2450
01:26:00,465 --> 01:26:02,625
annoyed with you when she meows at you.

2451
01:26:02,625 --> 01:26:05,380
And she will follow me, and any flat

2452
01:26:05,380 --> 01:26:08,359
surface I'm vaguely near, she's jumping on. So

2453
01:26:08,420 --> 01:26:10,020
if when I walk into the living room

2454
01:26:10,020 --> 01:26:11,460
and I walk past her cat tree, she

2455
01:26:11,460 --> 01:26:12,739
jumps on it. But then I walk past

2456
01:26:12,739 --> 01:26:13,780
it, so she jumps on the top of

2457
01:26:13,780 --> 01:26:15,860
the couch. Then I walk past that Yeah.

2458
01:26:16,020 --> 01:26:17,475
And I'm going into the dining room, and

2459
01:26:17,475 --> 01:26:18,914
she jumps on a chair, and then she

2460
01:26:18,914 --> 01:26:20,354
jumps on the bench we have, and then

2461
01:26:20,354 --> 01:26:21,795
she'll jump on my seat. And I'm like

2462
01:26:21,875 --> 01:26:23,395
It's like, what is that what is that

2463
01:26:23,395 --> 01:26:24,215
that they do?

2464
01:26:24,594 --> 01:26:25,234
A park

2465
01:26:25,954 --> 01:26:27,494
parkour. Parkour. Parkour.

2466
01:26:30,559 --> 01:26:31,139
Meowing the

2467
01:26:31,840 --> 01:26:32,579
whole time. Meow. So this

2468
01:26:32,880 --> 01:26:34,559
morning, I took a few minutes. She followed

2469
01:26:34,559 --> 01:26:36,719
me to go to the bathroom, silly me.

2470
01:26:36,719 --> 01:26:38,800
And I'm in the bedroom after, you know,

2471
01:26:38,800 --> 01:26:40,399
and she's on the bed. And I'm like,

2472
01:26:40,399 --> 01:26:42,159
fine. I will give you some we were

2473
01:26:42,159 --> 01:26:43,920
there ten minutes, and she still was not

2474
01:26:43,920 --> 01:26:45,435
ready for me to leave. Mm-mm.

2475
01:26:46,454 --> 01:26:49,354
She came this close to licking my hand.

2476
01:26:49,655 --> 01:26:51,494
She sniffed it real hard. Like, I could

2477
01:26:51,494 --> 01:26:53,175
tell that her nose was wet. That's not

2478
01:26:53,175 --> 01:26:55,414
an onyx thing to do. I was like,

2479
01:26:55,414 --> 01:26:57,275
okay. So you've gotta, like, hit

2480
01:26:57,735 --> 01:26:59,114
not quite middle age

2481
01:26:59,909 --> 01:27:02,390
and you're you're relaxed enough to let your

2482
01:27:02,390 --> 01:27:05,449
nose touch my hand that you're aggressively

2483
01:27:05,989 --> 01:27:08,630
head butting. She gets so aggressive with, like,

2484
01:27:08,630 --> 01:27:10,390
doing that swipe that cats will do, like,

2485
01:27:10,390 --> 01:27:11,909
the side of their head for you to

2486
01:27:11,909 --> 01:27:13,994
rub against you, but she'll do it against

2487
01:27:13,994 --> 01:27:16,975
my hand that she'll literally get my my

2488
01:27:17,034 --> 01:27:18,715
finger is either trying to go up her

2489
01:27:18,715 --> 01:27:20,875
nose or in her ear, and she just

2490
01:27:20,875 --> 01:27:23,274
rolls with it. Mhmm. Like, that doesn't freak

2491
01:27:23,274 --> 01:27:25,994
you out, but me trying to gently pick

2492
01:27:25,994 --> 01:27:27,295
you up does.

2493
01:27:29,449 --> 01:27:30,329
Well, you know, she,

2494
01:27:31,050 --> 01:27:32,569
in the in the evening before we go

2495
01:27:32,569 --> 01:27:34,569
to bed, while I'm doing my little routine

2496
01:27:34,569 --> 01:27:36,649
to get, you know, the house ready and

2497
01:27:36,649 --> 01:27:37,149
everything,

2498
01:27:40,329 --> 01:27:40,829
she

2499
01:27:41,295 --> 01:27:44,095
expects. She expects. Because you trained her to

2500
01:27:44,095 --> 01:27:46,494
expect it. Her brushing. Oh, yeah. She will

2501
01:27:46,494 --> 01:27:47,875
be brushed at night. Yeah.

2502
01:27:48,255 --> 01:27:49,935
She will let me brush her because she

2503
01:27:49,935 --> 01:27:51,695
likes being brushed. She likes clearly likes the

2504
01:27:51,695 --> 01:27:53,395
sensation. Mhmm. But,

2505
01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:57,439
it's not it I could spend an hour

2506
01:27:57,439 --> 01:28:00,020
brushing her at any point in the day.

2507
01:28:00,640 --> 01:28:01,779
Ten minutes before

2508
01:28:02,239 --> 01:28:04,560
the normal routine, she would still expect the

2509
01:28:04,560 --> 01:28:05,380
same treatment

2510
01:28:05,994 --> 01:28:07,295
at the time. Yeah.

2511
01:28:08,155 --> 01:28:09,055
Yep. Okay.

2512
01:28:09,755 --> 01:28:10,975
I will not get

2513
01:28:11,354 --> 01:28:11,854
between,

2514
01:28:12,875 --> 01:28:14,395
a cat and her cat daddy. I'm just

2515
01:28:14,555 --> 01:28:16,574
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.

2516
01:28:16,795 --> 01:28:18,095
I'm not doing that.

2517
01:28:19,275 --> 01:28:20,159
I know better.

2518
01:28:22,560 --> 01:28:25,760
I know better. Oh, oh, speaking of this

2519
01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:27,860
time, not cat daddy, dog daddy.

2520
01:28:28,800 --> 01:28:30,500
The other night, over the weekend,

2521
01:28:31,119 --> 01:28:32,800
I can't remember which day it was. Monday

2522
01:28:32,800 --> 01:28:33,300
night?

2523
01:28:34,079 --> 01:28:35,534
I don't remember what we're doing.

2524
01:28:36,735 --> 01:28:38,595
Sunday night because we had game night,

2525
01:28:39,375 --> 01:28:40,614
on Discord Mhmm.

2526
01:28:41,055 --> 01:28:42,515
With the Patreon community.

2527
01:28:43,295 --> 01:28:43,795
Okay.

2528
01:28:44,175 --> 01:28:46,034
We get done with game night.

2529
01:28:46,494 --> 01:28:48,975
We go about, do our thing. We go

2530
01:28:48,975 --> 01:28:50,414
to bed. We're getting ready to go to

2531
01:28:50,414 --> 01:28:53,000
bed. Yeah. Lola Oh my god. Yeah. Usually

2532
01:28:53,000 --> 01:28:54,840
is already either in her crate or on

2533
01:28:54,840 --> 01:28:56,599
the couch sleeping at when we are getting

2534
01:28:56,599 --> 01:28:57,800
ready to go to bed. She's done for

2535
01:28:57,800 --> 01:29:00,460
the day. She comes in the kitchen. She

2536
01:29:00,760 --> 01:29:03,715
leans against JB's legs. She leans against mine.

2537
01:29:03,715 --> 01:29:04,914
We give her love and we're like, what

2538
01:29:04,914 --> 01:29:06,755
are you doing awake? Loving, loving, loving, loving.

2539
01:29:06,755 --> 01:29:08,755
And we're like, that's so weird. And JB's

2540
01:29:08,755 --> 01:29:10,994
like, okay now, Lola. Okay. Go to bed.

2541
01:29:10,994 --> 01:29:13,154
And she's a good girl. She's all. She

2542
01:29:13,154 --> 01:29:15,579
did it. We are in our bedroom. We

2543
01:29:15,579 --> 01:29:17,659
are, like, we are naked, y'all. We're ready

2544
01:29:17,659 --> 01:29:19,100
to be in we were in the bed.

2545
01:29:19,100 --> 01:29:20,880
We were ready we were under the covers.

2546
01:29:20,939 --> 01:29:23,819
And JB goes, oh, shit. I know why

2547
01:29:23,819 --> 01:29:24,960
she was in the kitchen.

2548
01:29:25,420 --> 01:29:26,880
Yeah. Why was she in the kitchen?

2549
01:29:27,545 --> 01:29:29,244
I forgot to give her her,

2550
01:29:29,784 --> 01:29:32,984
big treat evening treat. Her her dessert at

2551
01:29:32,984 --> 01:29:34,984
night. Yeah. It's like her last treat she

2552
01:29:34,984 --> 01:29:36,824
gets, and it's her, like, her good ones.

2553
01:29:36,824 --> 01:29:38,844
Her big premium treat for the day.

2554
01:29:39,625 --> 01:29:42,579
And so you you absolutely know this man

2555
01:29:42,579 --> 01:29:44,260
got up, put clothes on, went back out,

2556
01:29:44,260 --> 01:29:46,100
got her out of wherever she was sleeping,

2557
01:29:46,100 --> 01:29:47,779
and gave her her treat. Right? We all

2558
01:29:47,779 --> 01:29:50,039
know that's what happened. Right? Of course.

2559
01:29:53,779 --> 01:29:55,795
Let me just say, if in the middle

2560
01:29:55,795 --> 01:29:57,555
of the night, I realized I had not

2561
01:29:57,555 --> 01:30:00,135
gotten my diet Coke during the day,

2562
01:30:01,155 --> 01:30:03,074
sucks to suck. Lay your ass down and

2563
01:30:03,074 --> 01:30:03,895
go to sleep.

2564
01:30:04,755 --> 01:30:05,494
Just saying.

2565
01:30:06,755 --> 01:30:07,715
I'm just saying. I

2566
01:30:11,550 --> 01:30:13,329
mm-mm. I am in third place

2567
01:30:13,789 --> 01:30:15,409
after Onyx and Lola.

2568
01:30:17,229 --> 01:30:18,609
It's fine. It's fine.

2569
01:30:18,989 --> 01:30:20,050
Ella's not really

2570
01:30:20,350 --> 01:30:21,015
on the rating.

2571
01:30:21,494 --> 01:30:23,675
Ella's always spit out of him.

2572
01:30:24,695 --> 01:30:27,335
Poor Ella. Ella can do nothing right for

2573
01:30:27,335 --> 01:30:27,835
JB.

2574
01:30:28,534 --> 01:30:31,095
I'm the one who does litter boxes and

2575
01:30:31,095 --> 01:30:31,914
cleans up,

2576
01:30:32,614 --> 01:30:34,935
outside the litter box because apparently her ass

2577
01:30:34,935 --> 01:30:37,399
hangs over the we have a lidded litter

2578
01:30:37,399 --> 01:30:39,340
box because her ass really does hang over.

2579
01:30:39,560 --> 01:30:41,639
She still manages to have her ass hang

2580
01:30:41,639 --> 01:30:44,199
over out the entrance, and I I clean

2581
01:30:44,199 --> 01:30:45,179
up a lot of pee.

2582
01:30:45,719 --> 01:30:48,060
But I like Ella more than

2583
01:30:50,465 --> 01:30:52,164
And I'm cleaning up her piss.

2584
01:30:56,145 --> 01:30:58,944
Ella's brain dead. She she is not she

2585
01:30:58,944 --> 01:31:00,864
does not get possession of the brain cell.

2586
01:31:00,864 --> 01:31:02,385
That is so true. No. We just look

2587
01:31:02,385 --> 01:31:03,585
at her and go, thank god you're pretty.

2588
01:31:03,585 --> 01:31:05,649
And she's Exactly. She's so cute. She's so

2589
01:31:05,649 --> 01:31:07,649
cute. She's got that perfect pink nose. She

2590
01:31:07,649 --> 01:31:09,729
got Mhmm. Pink Toby. Which is, you know,

2591
01:31:09,729 --> 01:31:12,609
got the fluffy ferns. Yeah. Yeah. And she

2592
01:31:12,609 --> 01:31:14,310
will let you hold her like a baby.

2593
01:31:16,050 --> 01:31:18,555
But she also whines. Oh my god. Oh

2594
01:31:18,555 --> 01:31:20,715
my god. And because she's not allowed to

2595
01:31:20,715 --> 01:31:21,775
hold the brain cell,

2596
01:31:22,395 --> 01:31:23,614
Onyx has permanent

2597
01:31:23,994 --> 01:31:26,155
possession Right. And probably a couple extras because

2598
01:31:26,155 --> 01:31:27,534
that Onyx is smart.

2599
01:31:28,635 --> 01:31:29,135
Yeah.

2600
01:31:29,914 --> 01:31:32,260
She will she'll be eating her breakfast,

2601
01:31:32,720 --> 01:31:35,039
and she's gotten slower about eating over the

2602
01:31:35,039 --> 01:31:36,880
past several months. Mhmm. Not like she's not

2603
01:31:36,880 --> 01:31:38,159
eating. She's just slower than she used to

2604
01:31:38,159 --> 01:31:40,420
be. She doesn't unhind her jaw anymore. Right.

2605
01:31:40,479 --> 01:31:41,380
So she will

2606
01:31:41,920 --> 01:31:44,654
not be done with her own food. Onyx

2607
01:31:44,734 --> 01:31:46,274
eats primarily in the bedroom

2608
01:31:46,654 --> 01:31:48,974
so that she'll actually eat. If the bedroom

2609
01:31:48,974 --> 01:31:51,135
door opens because we're letting Onyx out because

2610
01:31:51,135 --> 01:31:52,814
I'm coming out whatever Onyx is done with

2611
01:31:52,814 --> 01:31:53,474
her breakfast,

2612
01:31:54,255 --> 01:31:57,295
Ella will stop eating her food to leave

2613
01:31:57,295 --> 01:31:59,234
and go see if she can get whatever

2614
01:31:59,295 --> 01:32:00,329
Onyx has left

2615
01:32:01,289 --> 01:32:02,189
behind consistently.

2616
01:32:02,970 --> 01:32:05,609
Yeah. It's like, coral, you you you haven't

2617
01:32:05,609 --> 01:32:08,170
even finished this yet. Finish all your food.

2618
01:32:08,170 --> 01:32:09,229
Do you do you know

2619
01:32:09,609 --> 01:32:11,530
see, I I feed I feed the two

2620
01:32:11,530 --> 01:32:13,689
cats first in the morning. You have to

2621
01:32:13,689 --> 01:32:14,444
or oh my god.

2622
01:32:15,164 --> 01:32:16,784
Yeah. They'd cry the whole time.

2623
01:32:17,164 --> 01:32:19,744
And once they're settled, then I feed

2624
01:32:20,284 --> 01:32:22,125
Lola. Who is the ultimate good girl because

2625
01:32:22,125 --> 01:32:24,444
she's she's she just sits there and waits

2626
01:32:24,444 --> 01:32:25,984
patiently. Mhmm. Now,

2627
01:32:27,085 --> 01:32:30,600
I made shelves in the kitchen Mhmm. So

2628
01:32:30,600 --> 01:32:32,600
that the cats can eat up off the

2629
01:32:32,600 --> 01:32:34,760
ground. So they're away, you know, so There's

2630
01:32:34,760 --> 01:32:36,619
no worry about Lola getting into their

2631
01:32:37,399 --> 01:32:39,320
food. That's before we knew how much of

2632
01:32:39,320 --> 01:32:41,479
a good girl Lola is. Yeah. Like, Lola's

2633
01:32:41,479 --> 01:32:43,960
gonna graze, but she'll let you leave your

2634
01:32:43,960 --> 01:32:45,904
bowl. She won't, like, slurp in your bowl

2635
01:32:45,904 --> 01:32:47,204
while you're in. You know?

2636
01:32:48,545 --> 01:32:50,804
She's got manners. Yeah. So

2637
01:32:52,064 --> 01:32:55,024
Ella's spot where she eats is pretty much

2638
01:32:55,024 --> 01:32:55,844
over where

2639
01:32:57,270 --> 01:33:00,649
Lola Mhmm. Eats. Mhmm. So when I prepare

2640
01:33:00,710 --> 01:33:01,210
Lola's

2641
01:33:02,069 --> 01:33:02,569
food,

2642
01:33:03,189 --> 01:33:04,949
I bring it over. We do our little

2643
01:33:04,949 --> 01:33:06,550
thing. She sits and does her little Oh,

2644
01:33:06,550 --> 01:33:08,630
he's trained her. Like, he does puts a

2645
01:33:08,630 --> 01:33:10,470
finger up, and Lola just sits like a

2646
01:33:10,470 --> 01:33:12,385
very pretty girl. Mhmm. I mean, he could

2647
01:33:12,385 --> 01:33:14,145
probably train me the same way, but And

2648
01:33:14,145 --> 01:33:15,905
she doesn't move until I put that finger

2649
01:33:15,905 --> 01:33:17,265
down and say go. I don't know if

2650
01:33:17,265 --> 01:33:18,385
I could do that. I don't I don't

2651
01:33:18,385 --> 01:33:19,845
think I'm as good a girl as Lola.

2652
01:33:21,345 --> 01:33:23,125
Yeah. She fidgety. Yeah. I know.

2653
01:33:23,505 --> 01:33:25,265
But but when I when I do that

2654
01:33:25,425 --> 01:33:26,885
Mhmm. She stops eating.

2655
01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:29,480
Ella. And Ella stops eating and she's leaning

2656
01:33:29,480 --> 01:33:30,680
over and you're like, what what they got?

2657
01:33:30,680 --> 01:33:32,360
What do that? Maybe it's better than mine.

2658
01:33:32,360 --> 01:33:32,860
Yeah.

2659
01:33:33,400 --> 01:33:33,900
Ella.

2660
01:33:35,239 --> 01:33:37,020
Now for all that

2661
01:33:37,560 --> 01:33:39,800
JB acts like he does not like Ella,

2662
01:33:39,800 --> 01:33:41,475
let me tell you I think I've told

2663
01:33:41,475 --> 01:33:43,814
this before what what he does. So

2664
01:33:44,195 --> 01:33:47,414
sometimes Onyx goes off her fucking feet. Okay?

2665
01:33:47,635 --> 01:33:50,114
And she doesn't want that flavor of wet

2666
01:33:50,114 --> 01:33:52,435
stuff. Maybe it's batch bronze. Something they they

2667
01:33:52,435 --> 01:33:54,060
screwed up the recipe. I don't know. She

2668
01:33:54,060 --> 01:33:56,779
wanna eat it. So we always keep dry

2669
01:33:56,779 --> 01:33:58,939
food on hand for those times because sometimes

2670
01:33:58,939 --> 01:34:00,139
when she won't eat wet, she will at

2671
01:34:00,139 --> 01:34:01,039
least eat dry.

2672
01:34:01,739 --> 01:34:02,239
To

2673
01:34:02,699 --> 01:34:04,859
to be kind to Ella, because Ella just

2674
01:34:04,859 --> 01:34:06,385
wants a bowl of food in front her.

2675
01:34:06,385 --> 01:34:07,905
She does not know or care. Is it

2676
01:34:07,905 --> 01:34:09,024
gonna be wet? Is it gonna be dry?

2677
01:34:09,024 --> 01:34:11,024
That makes no matter to her. Hot cold,

2678
01:34:11,024 --> 01:34:12,545
she don't care. She'll she'll eat it in

2679
01:34:12,545 --> 01:34:13,585
her bowl. As long as it's put in

2680
01:34:13,585 --> 01:34:14,965
front of her, she will eat. Right.

2681
01:34:15,505 --> 01:34:17,765
But what JB will do unprompted,

2682
01:34:19,140 --> 01:34:21,779
when he gives Onyx a bowl of dry

2683
01:34:21,779 --> 01:34:22,920
food, he sprinkles

2684
01:34:23,699 --> 01:34:25,460
a little bit of dry food on Ella's

2685
01:34:25,460 --> 01:34:27,319
food and we call that her croutons.

2686
01:34:29,300 --> 01:34:31,219
And he'll be like, that damn cat. I'm

2687
01:34:31,219 --> 01:34:32,895
like, that damn cat, you still gave her

2688
01:34:32,895 --> 01:34:33,555
her croutons?

2689
01:34:35,935 --> 01:34:37,854
You still she didn't ask for it. She

2690
01:34:37,854 --> 01:34:40,034
didn't know to ask for it. We're frenemies.

2691
01:34:41,534 --> 01:34:43,935
I think you love her. You just don't

2692
01:34:43,935 --> 01:34:44,835
like her very

2693
01:34:49,510 --> 01:34:51,270
much. You love her. You just don't like

2694
01:34:51,270 --> 01:34:51,770
her.

2695
01:34:53,429 --> 01:34:55,369
She would not be your friend in another

2696
01:34:55,429 --> 01:34:56,409
in another universe.

2697
01:34:59,029 --> 01:35:00,569
Anyway Yeah. Anyhoo.

2698
01:35:01,510 --> 01:35:04,255
That's us Mhmm. And our crazy fur babies.

2699
01:35:04,255 --> 01:35:04,755
Exactly.

2700
01:35:05,935 --> 01:35:07,855
So are we ready to, call it a

2701
01:35:07,855 --> 01:35:11,155
night? Yeah. Wrap it up. I am. I'm

2702
01:35:11,855 --> 01:35:13,315
I'm wearing too many,

2703
01:35:13,775 --> 01:35:16,255
like, clothes that I can be seen in.

2704
01:35:16,255 --> 01:35:17,935
I'm ready to, like, wear the stuff where

2705
01:35:17,935 --> 01:35:20,269
my tits are practically hanging out, but I'm

2706
01:35:20,269 --> 01:35:22,349
comfy, and that's all that matters. I'm ready

2707
01:35:22,349 --> 01:35:24,349
for very soft and very comfy too now.

2708
01:35:24,349 --> 01:35:26,849
Mhmm. And dessert. We have dessert. That's right.

2709
01:35:27,069 --> 01:35:29,389
Oh, yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm. So we're gonna go

2710
01:35:29,389 --> 01:35:30,524
do that. Yep. Okay.

2711
01:35:30,925 --> 01:35:31,425
Dessert.

2712
01:35:32,284 --> 01:35:33,344
It's, apples

2713
01:35:33,804 --> 01:35:36,364
It's an apple dumpling. Based dessert. So, yeah.

2714
01:35:36,364 --> 01:35:37,885
Gotta go. And it's the last of it.

2715
01:35:37,885 --> 01:35:39,725
Yeah. We finished it up. Mhmm. Anyway, we're

2716
01:35:39,725 --> 01:35:42,465
gonna go, next week, Wednesday, 3PM

2717
01:35:42,939 --> 01:35:45,260
Eastern. I almost said Central again. Mhmm. That's

2718
01:35:45,260 --> 01:35:47,340
when we'll be live streaming. Hopefully, that's a

2719
01:35:47,340 --> 01:35:49,180
time that works for folks who wanna go

2720
01:35:49,180 --> 01:35:50,380
to the stream and haven't been able to.

2721
01:35:50,539 --> 01:35:53,100
We hope to see you there. Okay. Alright.

2722
01:35:53,100 --> 01:35:55,230
We'll be back next week. Yep. Okay. Alright.

2723
01:35:55,230 --> 01:35:56,130
Bye. Bye.