You're listening to Loving BDSM podcast episode four
fifty six. K. The Lord's here with the
one, the only, the man who puts up
with my shit and keeps coming back for
more, John Brownstone.
So who's the masochist here? Yeah. I wonder
sometimes.
I really do.
Look. My shit putting up with my shit
allows you to be a sadistic bastard. So
I I guess it's symbiotic
relationship. Yeah. Yeah. It all all washes out.
We're gonna go with symbiosis and not parasitic.
We're
gonna
and I, remember that much from what? Biology,
I think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know
what another recording of something else I did
a physics
reference?
I don't know what's happening. I don't know
what's happening.
That's not what we're here to talk about
this week, though. As always,
I just as always,
life got just a touch extra chaotic this
week, so we're taking another easy week, and
we're just answering questions. I have a list
of topics y'all. I just gotta have the
the
bandwidth to do the damn research on them.
So
doing a Ask Us Anything, we asked for,
questions over on that handle I fucking hate.
And we got a few good ones, so
this ought to be fun.
Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this
is your first time listening, glad to have
you. If you're back for another week, welcome
back. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for
your kinky pleasure in education, and show notes
are found at lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add
the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You
can also follow the show on FetLife at
loving BDSM PC
on Instagram and technically threads at that handle
I will forever motherfucking
hate. Oh my god. I still get mad
every time I think about it. It's loving
d s and the number one. So it's
at loving d s one.
On blue sky at lovingbdsm.
Blah blah blah or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm
where you can watch us live stream of
the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in
the show notes. Big thanks as always to
our kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our
newest
We can keep being fucking weirdos on the
Internet,
but in large part because of our Patreon
community. We are grateful for every fucking one
of you.
If you would like to join our kinky
community and get access to extra content, plus
our Discord server,
with some super chill, like,
good folk,
you can do that. Just join us at
patreon.com/kaylalords.
That's patreon.com/kaylalords
or use the link in the show notes.
Okay. Before we get into answering questions, announcement
time. But if I don't get my notes
up, I'll say something wrong.
So the first announcement is a programming note.
This would have happened this week, except I
don't know how calendars and time work.
I was convinced
this day we're on October 1 was really
gonna be September 30. I don't know where
I got that from. I knew there were
thirty days in the month. I didn't miscount.
I just don't know how calendars
work.
So we're supposed to be off our summer
schedule
as of October,
and next week, we will be. Mhmm. So
we are changing the time again. This will
be,
it's a fourth time change really if you
think about it. We used to stream at
noon, then we went to one,
and now we're like, nope. We need more
time on Wednesdays. We can't.
Stream days used to be the only thing
we did was stream and record Yeah. And
and do this kind of stuff. And we
kinda can't. We need more time, working on
the kangry. The kangry.com.
Yep. So
our livestream
time starting next week, I hope I remember
when I schedule it,
be 3PM
Eastern.
I know that's not a good time for
some folks. For some folks, that's not your
lunch hour. For some folks, your time zone
makes it like middle I I I know.
If I could figure out the perfect time
that worked for all of us, I would
do it. I have not found that time
yet.
That time we think will work the best
for us because of how our days Yeah.
Run. And,
also, I don't mind doing the 7PM in
the summer. Mhmm. There's some because to avoid
the heat, but there's something about doing this
later in the day that makes
me feel like I don't have any time
for myself. Big air quotes there. I have
plenty of time for myself. I don't I
don't know what it is. Like, it's fun,
like, the first month. And by, like, September,
I'm like, oh my god. I'm kinda done
with the 07:00
thing because I like to be complicated and
difficult. Mhmm. Okay. Next,
our trans affirming care resource of the week.
If you don't know what that's about, you
gotta go listen to last week's episode. I
promised not to be long winded on that
after I did it the first time.
Is Point of Pride.
Point of Pride provides financial aid and direct
support to trans folks in need of health
and wellness care. We have donated to them
ourselves. We are not utilizing them as a
resource yet,
for what why we would need to know
them. If you don't know what I'm talking
about, go listen to last week's episode.
They
provide let me I wrote it down because
I was afraid I'd forget. Okay. There you
go. They have multiple funds
for,
helping trans folks get, like, care they need.
So they have a surgery fund. They have
an HRT fund. That one was fascinating. That
works like a scholarship program.
So they are partnered with, like, four different
places. Two or three are online.
One or two are in person, I think,
for gender affirming care, medical transition, stuff like
that.
And what they do is for eighteen months,
they actually pay directly
to the telehealth or the doctor's office or
whoever that is that they're partnered with for
trans people to get their care. They pay
for labs. They pay for prescriptions.
I was like,
that's amazing. I like that. They have an
electrolysis
fund for folks who are, like, dealing with
hair
stuff. That one hits close to home with
our experience
personally,
lately.
They have what they call the Thrive Fund,
which covers what the other three funds don't,
so mostly nonmedical stuff. And then they also,
mail out free chest binders and femme shapewear.
So you don't have to you have to
apply, like, put in your information for the
free binders and shapewear and that's ongoing all
year long. And then the funds, they open
up at certain times of the year. So
if you
or anybody you know and care about could
use a resource like that for, you know,
their medical needs,
feel free point of pride. We learned about
them through, Mercury Stardust
on Instagram,
a k a the trans handy ma'am.
They are delightful.
Yeah. I love
her.
I've learned a few things from her. Oh,
you they know what they're talking about. Yeah.
Absolutely.
And all it's so sweet. Like, I've I've
watched reels where Mercury will be like,
the person has made a reel and then
Mercury stitched it, right, to, like, answer the
question of this thing that's happened in their
house and they don't know how to fix
it. And they're, like, freaking out. They're like,
oh my god. I'm so bad at this.
I'll never get this fixed. And Mercury looks
into the camera and goes, you can do
this. I have complete
faith in you. I'm just like, oh my
god. This isn't even about me and I
feel better. Anyway, that's where we heard of
Point of Pride.
If you
don't need or know anybody who could use
those resources, but you wanna, like, be a
part of something and help trans folks out
in this fucking world we live in right
now,
you can donate,
just direct cash. That's what we've done before.
You can volunteer the volunteer. You don't have
to go anywhere. You write,
kind and affirming
notes that go in the boxes that get
sent out to trans people who need the
shapewear and stuff.
Or you can help fundraise. Like you can
and I was I'm gonna look into that.
Maybe the loving BDSM community
needs to do a fundraiser. I don't know.
Well, no promises.
So I said I wasn't gonna be long
winded but nobody believed that. Did you? Okay.
Point of pride. Link is in the places.
That's my spiel.
Okay. We are answering
questions.
K.
And I am hoping
that I still remember where to go to
get them. Actually, I'm so paranoid. I screenshotted
them in case, like, I couldn't. And I
was like, oh, how does this work?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey. First question.
This one is definitely for me. What kind
of tasks do you do?
So I have the set tasks that were
negotiated ages ago, and then I have as
needed tasks. So the set tasks,
I get the coffee pot ready at night.
So all JB has to do is push
a button when he's not caffeinated
and
kind. He's a grumpy, grumpy polar bear without
that coffee.
I also get the bed ready. I pull
it down. I put JB's pillows exactly like
he likes before we go to bed.
In the morning, I make the iced coffee
for the day. I put out his probiotics
so he will remember to take it. I
also, at the end of the day, put
out his magnesium so he remembers to take
that.
Then you make the bed. I do. I
make the bed. I have to explain myself
if I don't make the bed. It's usually
I have to change the sheets,
and this is how I will remind myself
to change the sheets. There was a time
in life I'd never made my bed. As
a kid, I never did. Into my twenties,
I never did. You know when I started
making the bed? When I got divorced and
I had pretty sheets and nobody in my
fucking bed. It's delightful. And then I just
it's become a habit and I like how
it looks, so I just do it. So
I get kinda antsy when I don't make
the bed.
Good habit now.
Am I missing anything? Oh, I when we're
in the car, I Mhmm. When you need
your sunglasses
even if I don't think he needs them,
I ask, do you want your sunglasses? And
then he decides. But I always hand them
over. We do we have absolutely anybody with
glasses knows what I'm talking about. Done the
we're speeding down the highway, and I'm passing
and exchanging glasses Yeah. Like,
in that sort of, like, don't blink, don't
fall off the road kind of thing. That's
when one of those times when you
want to get a hit a red light.
I know. And you do not hit a
red light. And you and every freaking light
is green. So for tasks,
those are the things that are set every
time. There are other things that are part
of our routine and our protocols, but that's
not what you asked. You asked about tasks.
Then there's the as needed.
So JB needs something and he will assign
it to me either through the Obedience app
now Yeah. Or he'll just verbalize it or
write it down for me. And that can
be research a thing,
find me the name of, find me the
phone number of,
like, whatever he might need. And it does
tend to be those kind of administrative
tasks.
Mhmm. I don't mind. He knows I don't
mind. We did have to work around and
renegotiate,
the
can you just walk up and tell me
the thing without me being
one, without me forgetting it, and two, without
me being overwhelmed.
And that that was, I think, frustrating for
both of us because we both wanted it
to be the way it was
when I was still in my thirties. So
you could just tell me a thing and
my steel trap of a brain could hold
it and then go do it and there
was no overwhelm at all. And Same. It
is not like that anymore.
So the way JB does it now, we've
only done it a couple times, but he'll
actually put it in the Obedience app, and
I'll get the notification.
And that one was a research thing, find
me a recipe for. So those are the
kinds of tasks. They're very service oriented.
I prefer my tasks to be part of
my routine, something I'm doing consistently, maybe not
every day, but in enough of a set
routine where I can remember that I need
to do it.
One task, it goes two tasks. It goes
through the,
obedience app. I bring him my collar to
have it put on. I cannot sleep in
my collar. Some people can. I cannot. Nothing
can touch
my neck. Oh, can't sleep.
And then I also fold our laundry.
And the task of folding the laundry is
really the,
division of labor of the house is not
really about our power exchange. But when I
get that laundry folded, that's about a power
exchange.
Not that I fold it when I get
it folded.
So those are my tasks.
But they're very yeah. They're they're household oriented.
They're Mhmm. Beneficial for JB oriented, make his
life a little easier,
that kind of thing.
Okay. Next question.
What's the one piece of advice you wish
you learned earlier into BDSM, and how did
it change you?
Goodness.
Wow. That's,
I think the, the thing that shocked me
the most Mhmm.
That was the biggest game changer for me,
that is
real life BDSM,
is not what you see in porn or
in Tumblr or any of those places. No.
You know? And and prior to that, pretty
much, that's what I had seen Sure. Online.
You know, even from,
the old bulletin board rooms, chat rooms.
Oh, sure. That kind of thing.
So,
you know, when when realized find you know,
when actually entering the community and finding out,
oh, it's really not like that.
Not for more than a senior at a
time. Which actually was kind of okay with
me. Right. That could be very overwhelming for
sure for sure. Because,
you know, you see some of that stuff
and like, I gotta live up to that?
Right. I have to always be stern. I
have to always be on my knees. I
can't you know?
There there are folks who incorporate more of
it into their daily lives than others. We
are we we are very,
relaxed.
But there is everybody
has their own limit of how much you
can do it before
the other parts of your lives kind of
seep in and have to take priority.
We
that's why we
function with our power exchange the way we
do where it's kind of baked in.
There's not a lot of baby girl go
do this because we're busy fucking people. So
it's like, let me set expectations and let
you go, and I'll come to you as
needed.
And then we have certain, like, understandings
between each other, like, how we'll speak to
one another and and how we address one
another. But, like, the rest of it is
just us living our life and and power
exchange is just,
like, woven through that instead of it being
very
prescriptive and this is how we live our
lives and this is what we do when
we're in sub motor, dom mode and then,
and then somehow there's a break for the
other parts of our lives. Well, not really.
Like, he's always daddy. He is always the
decider.
And heaven help us, I'm always baby girl
at my best and at my worst.
And I tend to be that kind of
person that I
am
naturally of service, air quote that, that's a
subjective term,
to whoever I love and care for. So
too too much to the kids, I gotta
back off with the youngest. And so it
comes easy to me to do it for
him as part of our power exchange because
that's what I would be inclined to do
anyway. This is just negotiated and understood and
there's parameters and there's boundaries and blah blah
blah.
So, yeah, the real life v fantasy is,
yeah. The the sooner folks can get that
in their head and then decide that actually
real life
is is good, actually,
I think the better off most people would
be. With me,
I think
it's it's actually a life lesson less than
a a kink lesson, but it applies because
there's all of these things transfer across each
other.
And it is that the thing that you
are doing today in your kink life and
your power exchange that you love, the routine,
the protocols,
the rules, the fuckery, the blip blip blip,
whatever,
it is meant to shift and change over
time because everything in life shifts and change
changes. I used to get very torn up
about the fact that
when we could no longer do a thing
that that's how we had done it for
months or years.
I would have this sort of internal, like,
is there something wrong with me that we
can no longer no. It's that life shifted.
We shifted health,
money, kid like, whatever whatever. And your power
exchange and your kink life adjusts to your
reality. If you are trying to force that
round peg into that square hole and it's
not a good fit anymore, I mean, it
could be kinky, but that's, you know
and it's not happening is what I'm saying.
You just made yourself miserable, and you're not
actually living the kink life that you love
even though that routine you had, that thing
you did was what you loved. Now, you
know, the moment I kind of wrapped my
head around it and got comfortable with the
fact that, no, this is how this is
supposed to go because this is how life
goes.
Nothing bad lasts forever. Nothing good lasts forever.
It's just a constant shift.
I became much more relaxed about it and
just, you know, understood, okay, this is part
of the process. I mean, did we get
a what's the word I want?
A crash course,
from going from long distance to moving in.
Mhmm.
Oh, yeah. That was a That was a
managing expectations thing more than a life adjustment
because we thought we had planned for the
life adjustment, and then life lifed, and we
had to readjust.
But over from that point, 2014, we moved
in together,
you know, pretty
cyclically. I won't say consistently, but there's sort
of a cycle of things that we, over
time, shift a little bit, shift a little
bit. My main tasks
have not shifted that much.
Do the coffee.
Mhmm. Maybe the way I make the coffee
has changed when I do it. Certain like,
those that's I think I I had get
a lot of comfort for that because that
has been consistent
over the years. But how quickly I do
it, the way I do it,
your expectations of it, what we've added, what
we've taken away Mhmm. Those are the shifts
I'm talking about. So
the
I think
that allowed me to relax and to understand,
okay,
the shifting of how we're gonna do things,
the the easing back of some things, the
the
strengthening of others, that is absolutely normal.
It's gonna happen. I have not failed. The
power exchange is not failing.
We're just this is life, and it happens
to all parts of our life, including our
our DS.
Okay. Next one. It feels impossible to date
as a fat kinky femme.
Advice.
I wouldn't know where to begin. Well I've
been so
Yeah. I mean, you are I I look
to you though because you appreciate
fat kinky femmes. Like, you you love you
a big girl and not in a fetishizing
way like you you just want something to
be able to hold on to. And I
appreciate
that. I'm a give you so much to
hold on to. I
I find it attractive. I like it. It's
whatever I like. I know. I'm just saying
from that perspective,
you know Yeah. Do you have any, like,
as as to being the person who would
be the partner of
a a fat kicking femme of the connection
of the coming together. See, I don't you
know, I don't even think about it in
those kind of terms. Mhmm. You know, for
for me, it comes down to things like,
personality.
Right. Yeah. You know,
what kind of moral compass
Sure. The person has, sense of humor. Right.
You know, and and of course, hygiene,
you know, but We do appreciate hygiene. Yeah.
Yeah. But I mean, things like that I
know. You is what
makes the person Right. And I and I
think for
if you and whatever
body you're in
or
may you know, for folks who maybe, like,
have a physical disability or whatever whatever whatever.
Right? That makes you
feel like you can't find a partner. The
first thing I want you to look at
is who are you surrounded by? Mhmm. Are
you part of an online or in person
community that,
is kind of homogeneous and everybody
looks the same and maybe they don't look
like you or they are kind of similar
and you do not fit into that group?
Well, now it's time to, like we gotta
change our friend group. We gotta change our
community. We gotta go go be where we
are accepted as who we are.
You know, the
the sad state of affairs is the stuff
that I've I've joked about this before,
because I tend to
fall into a vanilla heterosexual
algorithm every once in a while. And it's
sad state of affairs of the dating world
these days. Oh my god.
But kinksters are just a cross section of
humanity.
We
tend to handle some things better, but we
are still people. And so there are still
you know, we would call them sometimes a
fake dom or, like,
a bad sub, I mean, of any gender
of any who whatever. But there are those
people regardless of gender who are shitty.
They are not real with you. They are
they're used they'll use people for as long
as they can. They won't commit or they'll
ghost or they'll gaslight or whatever. They're out
for themselves. They're not actually
trying to make a genuine connection. And, you
know, that will always exist somewhere.
So if you find yourself in a space
where there are not others like you, there
are not others who are into
you, can can you shift your space? Right?
Is it,
is it the munch? We have walked into
munches where we're like, we do not feel
like we fit in, and also we're not
being made welcome. Well, it's real hard to
meet people if you're
in a space like that.
There are
sort of micro communities for almost any and
all identities. I'm sure within the BDSM community
as well, FetLife can can be a place
where, you know, you have to have to
sift through a lot of crap. But there
can be those spaces where Fet's not really
a a dating site, but people have met
through there. Right. And it's where you can,
you know, find a community. Because our thing
is, and we will preach it forever,
is we think and I don't care what
kind of power exchange kink relationship you're trying
to have with somebody. Even casual,
I think on some level you should like
that person as a human before you worry
about liking them as a kinkster. Right? And
they and in return they should like you
as a person before, you know,
the kink thing. Right?
And
that's the thing.
See if you can find spaces spaces for
yourself where you can just become friends with
people. Or maybe even the pressure is off
to try and meet a partner, and
you become friends with somebody. Maybe it becomes
more, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they introduce you
to other kinky people, and now you've made
connections. Maybe they invite you to the party,
and you meet the love of your life
there. Like, I don't
there's no predicting it. You know?
But
that
that is there's no single site I can
tell you to go to. I don't know
of any that are, like,
made for, you know,
any specific
group. I'm sure they're out there. I just
don't know about them. Typically, the kink sites
are the kink sites or the places that
allow you to be openly kinky and find
a partner.
You know, they're there and then it's hard
to, like, niche down. Right? But be with
people who appreciate you regardless of the relationship
thing. Quite frankly, if you are, you know,
kind of, like, feeling like it's impossible to
date, maybe don't date for a while. Maybe
it'd be like,
I will
whatever it is I need that I'm not
getting, how can else can I get it?
And I'm gonna not not worry about dating
until I'm in a community or I make
a friend or I'm, like, connected to somebody
in some way that sees me for who
I am not just for the body type.
But also,
the people who love a fat body and
not in the fetishizing, like, creepy way, they
are a 100% out there. Mhmm. Apparently, according
to the algorithm,
they're all at the gym. Like, apparently, the
the muscle
dude bros, like, love them a a chunky
partner. Okay. And I'm like, well, apparently, I
need to go to the gym more to
just, like, stand around. You're right. I I
did hear something. And that is the stereotype.
And
of course, that's not universally
true. But
so, yeah, I think if, you know,
you're sort of, like, feeling like it's impossible,
take a break from it. Yeah. Go live
your best life in other ways
and, you know, find a community that's not
necessarily
about dating. It's just about, like, chilling with
cool people who happen to also be kinky.
This one this one. I feel this one.
Next question. How to overcome my fears and
give my trust completely?
I think the first thing I would say
is,
trust, even as you grant it to somebody,
you're not granting them complete and total trust
the moment you decide to trust them. It
is a bits and pieces
thing that grows over time.
What I would say is you have to
make the first leap of faith
Mhmm. To not actually overcome a fear, to
move through the fear with a little bit
of trust. Maybe that is
you'll do the small kink thing with them.
You'll tell them one thing and you kind
of put that feeler out there where you're
extending trust, right, even though you're nervous and
then it's their job to show you, to
prove to you, that you can continue to
extend that trust.
And that takes as long as it takes.
That goes as slowly as it goes. You
give as much Mhmm. Trust and work through
that fear to the extent that you can.
And if they are a person worthy of
that, they will do the things that allow
you to grow more comfortable and to trust
more and more Yeah. So that you can
continue doing that. Yeah. Because I don't, you
know, I don't think trust is something that
is just
giving you, like, okay, here it is. You
got it all. It's no no more to
give. Right.
You know,
you we're still
Mhmm. All after all these years,
that is still something that is
going on. I don't think it ever it
it's something that grows and evolves and it
you know, it's all part of that. Mhmm.
You know, like you said earlier,
you know,
nothing we have looks like what it did
before. It's something different. And it's the same
thing with the trust. That is something that's
gradually given over time and it just Right.
Peeps.
Right. There's not a you're talking to somebody,
you're getting to know them, and one day
you just go, okay. I'm not afraid anymore
and I trust them completely. Let's do that's
nope. Yeah. From the vast majority of us,
that's not how it's gonna work. You're gonna
have to you're gonna have to do something
and be nervous about it while you do
it. Yeah. But it the way I always
do it because I have such trust issues
is I do a thing that I would
be disappointed if they broke my trust. I
would be sad
but I don't feel like I would be
crushed or harmed.
That's how slow and small we're talking. Mhmm.
And they need to prove to you. And
what I mean by prove to you, it's
real easy for for,
predatory people and wannabes and users and abusers
to say the right things. Mhmm.
But they will unless that unless they're one
of those just, oh my god people and
those are the exceptions, but there are people
who are super extreme. That's what I'm talking
about. Your average everyday
Joe Schmo. Right?
They're gonna trip up. They're not gonna be
consistent
or they're not gonna come across as sincere
and you're gonna get a feeling like, is
that actually real? I don't know if I
buy it. Like, there's gonna be something that
kind of can clue you in when they're
not being consistent. So that's what you're looking
for. It's not what they do one time.
It's what they do over and over and
over again
consistently
Mhmm. In a pattern.
And that's when you know that they are
somebody that you can continue
to develop trust with. Right. And and also,
you know, on on the big d side,
they gotta be patient.
Yeah. Everybody's gotta be patient unless it's through
real. You know, especially early on in the
beginning, it's not something you can just, you
know, drag out of somebody. Right. Right. If,
you know,
if you are in either side, but, yes,
specific to to dominance. If you're a dominant
and you are,
you know,
getting together, getting to know this submissive partner
and you know they're afraid, you know they
have trust issues. I was very open with
it. I don't trust no damn body and
I'm terrified. I've I've too much pain too
like, I don't know. You know?
It is your job to prove that you
are a person that they can trust. You
know? If if that's who you want to
be with them, if you want to develop
wherever
this is going, whatever this is, you know,
that that's your job. Be consistent. Be real.
Be who the fuck you are. Yeah. Oh,
yeah. But also, even if you realize that
there's a,
incompatibility
or this is not gonna work, still, like,
hold their trust sacred. Like they're gonna be
vulnerable with you, potential partner. They're gonna you
know, there's gonna be intimacies between you.
You know, treat that as the sacred thing
that it is.
Now
submissives,
your doms get to do that with you
too. They're gonna be vulnerable. They're gonna tell
you stuff. They're gonna have to learn to
trust you.
Be a person they can trust.
Mhmm.
So yeah.
Okay.
Next one. This one's interesting.
Because I can't imagine it even though I
have a shitty memory. Because this is not
a thing that I would forget. But it's
interesting.
My sub keeps forgetting the title we've chosen.
They use it about 50% of the time.
How do I remind them?
Oh.
My first thought is,
does that title resonate with them? Mhmm. That
because if it doesn't resonate, that could be
part of the problem.
The other thing is do they have memory
issues in all other parts of their life?
Because if that's the case, then it's not
about the title. It's just they got a
memory thing, and now
you'll need tricks for that. But when I
forget something or when you've dealt with something
similar in the past, like, what is your
method for Well, and
that
years and years ago I did for some
reason I had
trouble
remembering certain words. Mhmm.
Okay? When I first picked up a camera
when I was young,
and
I got a polarizing lens,
I could not for the life of me
remember
polarizing. Mhmm. Mhmm. K? What the stupid thing
was called.
The way I
ended up remembering it Mhmm. Was I thought
of, okay, what's close to polarizing?
Polaroid.
Mhmm. Mhmm. So I had the first half,
and then it led into the rest of
the word from there first. Is that a
mnemonic device?
Or is that a mnemonic device adjacent there?
I don't yeah. There's There's a term for
making connections like that Right. And I can't
remember. And I I don't know what it
is anymore either. I've heard of it, but
that's what I
had done. Mhmm.
And through throughout, anytime I found a word
that I had trouble Mhmm. I create, you
know Sure.
A companion word, so to speak. Yes. Absolutely.
And that that's a great memory trick in
general. So if we're talking about Absolutely. And
that that's a great memory trick in general.
So if we're talking about this just a
memory issue, then I would be looking up
different tricks and,
things to try and tools for how to
help somebody, you know, retain a memory like
that.
Yeah. That being said, it depends on your
dynamic, but there's not a damn thing wrong
with leaning into your dynamic.
If, you know, there are consequences as part
of your power exchange,
I I would not make it an overly
serious consequence,
but I would, you know, if they
are if they're trying to avoid consequence,
maybe do that.
If there's any,
willingness
and also, like,
you know, when JB wants me to never
act a certain way again, he'll have me
write lines. Now that's not for everybody. Mhmm.
But that is just an example of Yeah.
Within our caregiver
baby girl dynamic, that works. So I would
lean into your dynamic of Right. How do
you discipline or how do you maintain discipline
or what, if any, consequences
exist for when
a submissive kinda, like, oopsies?
And then Is there something you can do
there to help with the memory? On on
the opposite side of that, know your know
your sub,
and do they respond better to
positive reinforcement? Thank you. Mhmm. I knew where
you're going. Yeah.
You know, if that's something that they respond
to,
then, you know Reward. Reward. When they get
it right. Mhmm. You know? I think the
first thing I would double check, if you
know it's not like a they remember nothing
and they struggle with their memory Mhmm. I
would make sure that the title resonates with
them.
Or or check this. Are they trying to
be punished?
Are they, like, low key bratting and there's
not been a conversation about bratting?
You know, I would I if it's not
just a memory thing, see if you can
get to the motivation.
Yeah. If there's a motivation. Right? Like, is
there a mental block? Is there Mhmm. Like,
I'm trying to I'm trying to get under
your skin and make something happen. If it's
not that,
I'd lean into your power exchange of however
y'all handle when they don't do what they're
supposed to do in other ways.
Again, I would not I personally would not
recommend coming down too hard for memory lapses.
You don't wanna make somebody afraid to say
something either,
but
there's, you know, probably something there Mhmm. That,
you know, can help them remember a little
bit. But it does depend on y'all's dynamic
and what kind of Yeah. You know, what
kind of sub they are, what kind of
dom you are, all of that, all of
that. Mhmm. Okay. This one this one's for
you. Uh-oh.
Because on a smaller scale,
we've had this moment.
How can I, five two, continue feeling dominant
when my sub is a lot bigger and
taller than me, six seven?
Well, you need to climb that person like
a tree. That way, I know it's fine.
Sorry. I'm having my own moment. I've been
reading too much smut.
I don't wanna assume there's even sex in
your dynamic. Too many thirst traps on that.
Just saying. Too, I think.
If if I were in if if I
had a partner that was that tall, I
believe I would just be climbing them.
So you are technically
now
shorter than me. Yes. But when we first
met, we were eye to eye, and I
struggled
with
feeling submissive
You did. Because you were not bigger and
taller. You had it in here that Yes.
You need to be physically
So what would you say? Like, how do
you feel dominance? How do you maintain that
feeling? How do you, like, especially and because
you've had partners that there was a significant
size difference. You are our short king, and
we love you for it. So how how
how does that work for you? Well, I
know with you,
it's
you know, you were
carrying on about it one night,
and I grabbed you by your hair and
had you on your knees.
You're like, see?
Right. You did the dominant thing
and got me into that headspace and I
had nothing to do with size of body
Yeah. And height. Exactly. And and I think
that's where it really comes down to, you
know, you you you be yourself, you be
your dominant self,
and
you just be real and consistent Mhmm. And
and, you know, everything should fall in place.
Yep. You know, because, again,
height, width, you know, whatever. It it doesn't
it it doesn't matter. One of my favorite
ever scenes to witness, and I hate watching
a scene because I get bored and antsy.
I'm not I know the one you're gonna
talk about.
Their dynamic,
at the time, these were their pronouns, so
I'm sticking on them because I don't know
any different. She was
five foot nothing. Oh, yeah. He was a
big old boy. He was a bear. He
was huge. He was massive. He was I'd
have climbed him like a tree too if
he consented.
She flitted around almost like a butterfly around
him while wailing on him. Their Yeah. Their
play was impact and he could take
crazy
hard hard impact. And she was And she
just went, okay. You're my pinata.
She was not holding back. But she Mm-mm.
She used like, she had to work a
little harder to get the strength, to get
the angles, but she was able to give
him
experiences from, like, a sensation point that somebody
his own height or taller could not because
she's coming up from the bottom, you know?
But she was
in scene consensually.
She was mean and they both loved it
and it didn't matter what their size was
because, you know, somebody said in the in
the live chat, and that is true, dominance
is is mindset. Dominance is energy. Dominance is
Yep. The look on your face, the tone
of your words, you know, what you were
doing within the negotiated dynamic. It's nothing to
do with size. Yeah. Nothing to do with
And and it was it was I I
have to say it. It was cute as
hell watching
her cuddle him after him. Oh, now that
was hilarious. You would think
she should have been the little spoon. Right.
But he needed the comfort and Mhmm. You
know, she sort of draped herself up. It
was Yeah. It was a good scene because,
man, I was like, holy shit. He's taken
he's taken a beating and loving it. Oh,
yeah. But she was this little thing just
Oh, yeah. She flitting around him. She was
tiny. Mhmm. She actually I mean, she were
nuts. Because she was she was small to
me. Yes. Yes. So
so my point is Yeah. It doesn't matter.
And No. Quite frankly,
when somebody's
you know, if you want it to have
that experience of being physically above them, because
I get it. There's a you know, people
do use their physical body to dominate to,
you know, be over somebody.
They just maybe they need to be be
on the ground and you need to be
up top. And and that was another thing
I was just gonna say. But school maybe
if that's your thing or
Learn some of the, what do they call
it? The gory and,
kneeling skill, you know, different poses. Mhmm. So,
you know, if you wanna if you want
to work within
body size, don't worry about size, body position.
You are sitting higher, standing higher,
whatever. They are if they physically can, they
are lower on the ground than you.
But if, you know,
if you can give them the look and
they respond, if you can say a word,
use a tone, and they respond,
that is what matters most of all. If
you can you know, if y'all are getting
kinky and have a scene, you can give
them the sensation that, you know, help whatever
it is that gets them in their submissive
mindset. Yeah. It doesn't matter how big or
small you are. Nope. Not at all.
Okay. Here we go. I have a new
play partner. He likes to be dumb, but
he's shy and doesn't dare to do much.
How can I support him and help him
gain the confidence to be more dominant
and show him new things and what I
like without feeling like I'm topping from the
bottom?
So let's start with that last question. Okay.
You're gonna talk to your partner about what
you like. Yeah. You're gonna negotiate it. That
that's all part of the negotiation.
Right. So it should not be coming out
of nowhere, and then you feel like you're
topping from the bottom. Now you may need
to teach and show your partner
what to do.
Even if you are not a service submissive,
think of it as an act of service.
Think of it as a thing that you
were doing to make your Dom's life better
in the moment. Mhmm. You are not topping
from the bottom. You are providing
unnecessary information. Right. You're keeping everybody safe.
You're making sure that your Dom
can do the thing that needs to be
done. It's not it's never that is never
topping from the bottom. Yeah. I you know,
because yeah. You you're coming into this,
you know, you don't know what
the Dom's needs and wants are. Right. He
doesn't know what yours are.
So, you know, no. It's not. You you
have to have that conversation. That's an important
conversation to have. Right. So
and, you know, there there does tend to
be this
because we've talked about it a million times
over all these years, this mindset of if
I am I really submissive if I'm kind
of leading
this moment, if I'm if I am explaining
these things to them, if I'm showing them
things. Here's the thing. You explain stuff, you
show them. Sometimes you do have to correct.
Some people don't always do it right the
first time or two. Right? And then you
back off and you let them do. As
long as they're within your boundaries and you
don't need to say for it out or
you're not having a bad time, whatever. Right.
It's you've informed and educated.
Sometimes that's Mhmm. By physically showing somebody.
And then you go, okay. You got it.
You know what I like. You step back.
The dominant part is where they choose how
and where to do that thing.
Right. You know?
Us yeah. Assuming they're also doing other things
that you enjoy even if it's not that
specific thing. The bigger question, I think,
is is, may may
be something you can help with. It's Mhmm.
Because
he likes to dominate, but he's shy and
doesn't wanna do too much as a confident
that's a confidence thing. Because you could be
shy and be a dominant. That's not a
problem. Yeah.
How can
I support him and help him gain the
confidence to be more dominant?
I think one of the biggest things that
can help is,
you know, after after any kind of scene,
you know,
I mean, be honest, but, you know,
hey. That was really good. You, you know,
you,
you know, this thing you were doing, I
really liked it. It was that was great.
Mhmm. Okay. That that kind of thing goes
a long way to helping build somebody's
confidence. Mhmm.
Suggest if it's if it's possible in your
area,
workshops.
Mhmm. You know, to
both of you attend and and you learn
things, you know. That's,
that's another way of doing it. Mhmm. So
The other thing is the boring answer of
it takes time. Yeah. You kinda go low
and slow. So, like, if it's a specific
kink activity, I'm gonna use impacts because that's
our thing, and it's just easy to do
examples for.
If they've never spanked somebody
ever Mhmm.
Then we're not gonna hand them a crop
and go go to town. Right? We're gonna
start with
hand on ass. I've said it before. I
have,
flogged many a pillow into submission practicing.
There's practice, and then there's also so practice
on any of my objects. Sure. But there's
also what y'all do. So
you might
not, in the beginning,
be doing as much
as you would like to, intricate as intricate
as you would like to, but that's so
that they have time to learn and gain
some confidence. So
let's say it's a spanking and they're willing
and you're both willing blah blah blah. Well,
they're gonna start out slow smacking your ass.
Right? They're gonna do some test strikes and
you're gonna provide feedback. You're gonna go Mhmm.
That felt great. You can go harder. Yeah.
Not that hard. Whatever. Whatever. Mhmm. And they're
going to learn
how you know, what that feels like as
they do it for you and them.
You know, the
when somebody's new
either or both of you. When somebody's new
to Kinky Play or Power Exchange,
in the beginning, the one who knows more,
has more experience, whatever whatever,
you do a lot of it's a lot
of feedback. It's a lot of try the
thing, give the feedback, try the thing, give
the feedback. Because that's how the person who
don't have a clue is gonna learn.
This works. This doesn't. I I know I
know how to do that. Okay. I tried
this. That didn't work. Whatever. And it's not
the, like, fantasy scene where, you know, you
you get to, like, let somebody take total
control and turn your brain off. It's you
know, you can get there, but you gotta
give them time to get there.
On the doesn't wanna do too much, is
it, like, doesn't wanna hurt you? You're gonna
have to give a lot of feedback. You're
gonna have to go, I can take it.
I want more. Mhmm. You know?
And and then they might move at a
slower pace than you want, but as as
long as there's some level of forward movement,
I think you're fine. Within their own boundaries.
Like, there there are absolutely doms and just
people in general, but doms who are like,
I don't wanna hurt anybody that much. I'm
not interested in that. Yeah. So there's also
the navigating that, like,
where are their boundaries here? Their limits and
boundaries. And when you're new, sometimes your boundaries
are very close. It's a it's a very
small little Venn diagram of what you're willing
to do. But as you gain experience and
confidence That that's gross. You yes. Yes. Exactly.
Okay.
Oh, this oh, this one.
Should I still call my d partner
daddy if they use it with another person?
I don't I don't know if they finish
their,
sentence because it says, if they use it
with another person to mean much. I'm not
sure what that part meant, meant. But Mhmm.
Is it a should I still call them
daddy if somebody else is calling them daddy?
That's personal. Yeah. It is. That's personal. Yeah.
I think I'm much more relaxed about this
than I used to be. We did used
to have a rule that I was just
like, I I don't like the idea of
anybody calling you daddy. You're my daddy. I
I think I could handle it better now.
I don't know. That might have been insecurity.
But my question is Mhmm. If you had
me and another partner calling you daddy,
like, can you imagine how you might feel?
Like, would that be weird? Would you be
like, okay. That's a big deal. I could
separate it in my mind. Ma'am, would that
be an ego boost?
Boost? I assure you there is somebody on
the Internet who would love to call you
daddy.
Get consent first, y'all.
Mhmm. So,
you know, I don't know. I honestly don't
know.
I wish we had a like, another person
here so you could just hear it, like,
in stereo.
Yeah. Because I I mean, because because, you
know, of of how you had felt about
that,
you know You never let yourself think about
it? No.
And,
you know,
like, one called me papa bear. Mhmm. You
know? And that was the same vibe, same
energy. Yes. So I think it's personal preference,
ultimately.
Can you use the same
honorific title label with a partner that somebody
else is using? Of course, you can. Yeah.
If it makes you uncomfortable,
it's not on that other person to change.
It's on you to decide to change, to
find another term
that hits right, but That works for you.
Is different enough that you're like Yeah. Okay.
This is my special thing to call them.
To some people, that is important. That's, you
know, that's a a very personal thing. It's
a very intimate thing to, yeah, what you
call your partner and, you know, whatever.
So you do not have to change anything,
but you can. Mhmm. But
if
they're you can't control what the other person
does. Right? You can only control you. So
if you don't like the idea of two
two people using that same title, like whether
it's a former partner or a current partner
in you,
you either have to decide that it ultimately
doesn't matter to you or you have to
decide what you're gonna call them instead.
Like, because if we're talking about a former
partner, well, you can't change that. That's in
the past now. Right.
And if it's another partner or another person
like daddy, that could be their child calling
them daddy.
That's why I kinda giggled when I read
this because I was like, we've had this
conversation. Would I call JV daddy if my
own father, who I called daddy for the
first twenty two years of my life, because
that's how long he was alive,
if he was still alive? And I can't
answer that because I'm not in that position.
Yeah. I don't have to know what that
feels like. I mean, you can, you know,
conjecture and and Right. Guess and all that,
but
Exactly. You never know
how you're going to react or feel until
you're actually in the situation.
Mhmm. So In in that moment. There's no
should. There's no because there's no right or
wrong. What works for the two of y'all?
What feels good for you? Mhmm.
Just how do you feel about it? And
that feeling
is valid.
It's the actions that are gonna matter more.
You can't demand somebody else say something different.
You can only change your behavior.
If you can't if you don't like the
idea that they are daddy to somebody else
for any reason, relationship,
power exchange,
parenting, like, whatever the the reason,
if that's you don't like that, then pick
something else. And there are
so many terms you can use, and I
I'll try to remember
to link this,
in the show notes and and in YouTube
after we're done streaming.
I came across and utilized a lot,
massive long lists that somebody on Reddit created
for the kink online kink community of all
these terms you can use to to call
what to call your dominant, what to call
your sub so that you can because you
can get creative and it'll maybe spark some
ideas if you do decide to call them
something other than daddy.
Okay.
I am a sex positive therapist. How do
you think most kinksters feel about therapy?
Most?
That yeah. It's Yeah. I have no idea
what most of anybody thinks. I mean, I
I can tell you what I think. Right.
And,
I I think it's it's good. Mhmm. I
think it's helpful.
You know,
I was in therapy.
I would go back if I could. And
I would go back in a heartbeat if
I could afford to right now. Yes. Yep.
Absolutely.
But, you know, no.
You know, yeah. I I I believe in
it. I think therapy is is a good
thing. I it's it helps. Right. This is
pure conjecture. I have no way of knowing.
I don't know if anybody's ever done, like,
any sort of survey of the kink community.
Yeah.
Because,
overwhelmingly,
the kink community
understands the need for open and clear communication
and boundaries and consent and negotiates these things
well or tries to or learns to negotiate
them well, and navigate them well.
I think in theory
probably more kinksters than not are absolutely open
to therapy willing to do it. Understand it's
a a net good for so many.
But
it's hard to know because I'll say it
again, kink community is just a cross section
of humanity
and there are absolutely people who don't think
therapy is real who refuse to talk to
somebody who are like, I'm not gonna, you
know, talk's not gonna fix my problems. What's
it there? Like, of course there are.
But
there's probably
something to it that studies have found that
in general,
on an average of spectrum of like, statistically,
kinksters
tend to have,
you know,
better mental health
outcomes than non kinksters.
One article I read several weeks ago, I
put it in our newsletter because I put
those kinds of articles in our weekly newsletter,
talked about how, you know, when you are
free to be who you truly are Mhmm.
And you tend to you tend to be
happier than the average person who maybe is
not
living their truth.
So there's probably something there as well. And
and I know for a while too there
was,
you know, a thing,
going around people that
to
I'm trying to think of the words, how
to put the words,
that
can can be
thing I would say, not because there's no
way to know how most kinksters feel about
therapy. Here's what I will tell.
From my experience, this is anecdotal. I have
no data.
The kinksters who
want therapy would have a therapist in a
heartbeat if they had the resources for it,
are seeking a therapist. What they want
in the conversations I've had is a kink
aware therapist.
They either don't wanna have to hide that
they're kinky even if they're not really gonna
talk about it. Things come up like, you
know, hell, hell, what if you saw a
bruise around their wrist because they had some
you know what I mean? And they're like,
it's a bruise. You know? It gets weird
when you can't just you don't feel comfortable
to just go, I'm kinky, and we did
this thing this weekend. Right?
Some of us, ourselves included,
the first so far the only. But the
first time I went to a therapist, I
was looking for a kink aware therapist because
I was I needed to be able to
talk about my relationship. And to understand our
relationship, you have to understand the dynamic. Exactly.
What kinksters have told me, and I agree,
I don't wanna do this either,
is I don't want you to just be
open to kink I want you to have
very limited basic awareness of what it is.
Mhmm. That's what a lot of people say
is, I don't wanna have to teach my
therapist what the fuck a power exchange is
just to get through to the conversation
about whatever whatever. Right?
Or to wonder, oh God, are they gonna
think that I'm automatically being abused because I'm
the submissive?
So
regardless of how many kinksters
want therapy, believe in therapy, go to therapy,
no way of knowing unless somebody does a
study on that,
I think it's more important
for therapists who are who
know that the kink community exists
to
just bare bones, get an more than just
an awareness of kink. Get a basic,
like real basic understanding of power exchange and
kink dynamics and BDSM
so that
and then put yourself in spaces where kinksters
are.
They'll come to you. I mean, we
we did this years ago when we still
lived in the Tampa Bay area. And I
I know we've tried to do it here,
and we probably could if we we have.
We will go on FetLife
and look for folks
for any service industry if they're kinky. Our
HVAC guy is a kinkster. No. Does he
listen to the podcast? I don't know. If
you do, you know who you are. It
won't out you because privacy concerns all that.
In the past when we were looking for
an accountant who let us down seriously, the
first one,
kingster. The second one, also a kingster. Star.
So,
like, I think
not all. Our real estate.
Yes. Was from the kink community. That's that's
the thing I found. Not with every kinkster,
we're not a monolith.
But kinksters who think about things like that,
who maybe, like us, your whole life is
your is kinky Mhmm. And your kinky shit
is all over your house and you gotta
get a service from somebody. We're looking for
kinksters and or people who are openly kink
friendly.
That's who we want. Mhmm.
Because we don't need the judgment. We don't
wanna hide anything. And I and as for
me personally in therapy, I don't want to
explain
kink to you. I'm not there to be
Kayla Lords loving BDSM content creator. Mhmm. Okay?
I am there to tell you
all of the the sludge in my brain.
So And that's kinda what ended up happening
with me. Mhmm. That's why I ended up
Yeah. It was a little less effective. Yeah.
Yeah. Now if you are and I'll I'll
try to remember to put this in the
plate the link in the places after the
stream.
There is a site through the National
Coalition of Sexual Freedom. Mhmm. Took me a
second. I know. They keep
a page up of a database of people
who add themselves under all kinds of industries
across.
I've seen primarily The US, but I think
in other countries and,
on other continents.
If you are a kink friendly, kink aware,
whatever
professional of some sort, therapists are a big
one. I've personally, I think, used the site
mainly for that. But there are other industries
there. So if you are looking for somebody
like a therapist,
we'll link to it after we're done streaming,
you can do that. If you yourself are
a kink aware professional and would like
to get in front of more kinky people,
that is one place to do
it. Because those of us who know about
that site, fucking use that site. Mhmm.
Okay. Last question. Okay.
How did you two spin up your DS
Dynamic while long distance? What got you started?
Well, what started out started it for us
was we just dipped our toes in it.
Yeah. Because we were talking and flirting and
realizing we were we liked one another. Mhmm.
Not necessarily like liked, but, like, we were
friends with one another. We got along on
that way, and we both
met knowing we're kingsters. So there was none
of this, like, introducing
Yeah. No.
I know a sub. You know it's Dom.
We came at it from that.
So as the friendship developed,
I asked you to,
in a a dominant way,
help me with
something.
I think it's the same old thing I've
been asking you to help me with for
all these years. Yeah.
We haven't started it yet.
And that was the start. You know, we
were still being friends. We were still I
I,
would play 20 questions by text
and I mean that literally. What is your
favorite color? What's your favorite dessert? What's your
favorite this? I would be sit I remember
one particular time I was at
Captain D's.
I was, like, eating lunch
and texting you,
and we were playing 20 questions.
So Yeah. But we did. We started with
a thing that was not sexual at all.
It was a task oriented kind of thing
Mhmm. While still developing the friendship and
quick fairly quickly going beyond friendship. Yeah.
Once we got beyond friendship and it got
sexy,
then there was more to it. Because then
we're playing with orgasm
control in general. And And I was picking
out panties for you to wear and And
I had to send a picture every day.
Making the panty database,
that was peak
geeky nerdy Yeah.
Kinky shit.
Because I had to
for somebody who doesn't wear underwear regularly now,
I have a shit ton of underwear. I
did then too because I love me some
pretty panties.
I had to take a picture of every
single pair of underwear I owned.
And the method we had back in the
day, because this was 2013.
Goddamn.
I uploaded all those to a drop box.
Mhmm.
And Jamie would send me a picture of
which panties I was wearing that day so
he could stay organized and I could stay
organized.
Yep. But,
yep. You you too can feel submissive taking
pictures of your underwear.
It was a slow and steady kind of
thing. Because we were long distance, there wasn't
a lot of task oriented stuff. Every once
in a while, you'd be like, can you
look this up for me? Can you whatever
whatever. Or I'd offer to help you with
something.
And it was for us mostly sexual because
that was a very easy way to play
with power dynamics.
We would be talking on the phone the
way I woke up every morning was JB
would call me,
And then he would talk me through
masturbation
and either I got a whole bunch of
orgasms or maybe maybe I got one after
way too long of being edged.
And I you know, I do think if
there's a sexual component,
it feels easier because there's so much power
play you can do in sex. Mhmm. It's
not required. You just you'll have to be
creative if you're long distance and it's, you
know, either service oriented or maybe some self
application of kinky stuff for the benefit of
your partner. Right? Because I I even had
you doing research on different,
kink topics. Mhmm.
And basically writing little mini papers. Yep.
Which all you were doing was getting me
prepared to be Kayla Lord, sex blogger and
sex writer.
I appreciate you.
Yeah. Doing it and I didn't know what
I was doing. Exactly.
But that,
you know, it
it we started out as friends.
Mhmm.
But we both knew what we were, and
we were Yeah. Like, that was never a
secret. Nobody had to divulge. We Mm-mm. Done.
Because we met online. Like, I
people ask, you know, where do I go
to meet somebody? I'm like, well, you can
go back to 2012 and start a sex
blog. That seemed to work for some of
us. And I mean, not just me. I
know several people who met short term and
long term partners
through the comment section of sex blogs. Yeah.
And so, you know, but we started out
with banter.
Like, he was posting silly shit on his
blog, and I was cracking up at a
time when I was bleeding all over the
pages of my sex blog because I had
my first power exchange and my first power
exchange breakup.
And so he was being kind and sweet
without coming across as creepy. And I do
not know how to tell somebody
how to do or not do that. It
is a vibe. Okay?
I get a vibe when somebody I'm thinking
if I saw you in person, I would
think you were slimy and please go away
from me. And the person who feels like
a genuine person
on and I don't I don't know how
to help you differentiate is the vibe.
But the vibe was good,
and we started out talking. I contacted him
first.
Yeah.
I never do shit. To this day, I
never do shit like that.
And it was a friendship thing. You know?
Yeah. It was an understanding we were both
dom subs. Sure. But he knew
what I was going through because I was
writing about it. And I knew I was
not interested in a relationship, but I was
really drawn to him because he was a
cool dude who who did funny shit on
the Internet and talked to me like I
was a person
and not a potential sex object.
It makes a difference. I don't know.
But yeah. It was friendship first. Yeah. It
was non sexual power exchange. Just can you
please help me with this thing?
And it then it grew from there. Because,
again, go back to my own I do
take my own advice.
We did this nonsexual power exchange, and he
continued to be who he had been
before we tried power exchange. Mhmm. He earned
my trust. He
explained himself.
He was the first adult human I'd ever
witnessed
give clear communication and say the thing he
was thinking.
I had not had not in a healthy
way. I had unhealthy ways of people telling
me what they were thinking and thank you
for the trauma. But
JB was like, let me explain myself to
you. Here's what I like. Here's what I
don't. Here's what we're gonna do.
And
I went, okay. I like this because I
already like the vibe.
And so it it grew from there. And
when Mhmm. As long distance, we
added visits to it. And our
long distance for us was highly sexual. We
were way more sexual in our power exchange
while while we were long distance than we
have been since Yeah. Being living together. Yeah.
And that's eleven years. We moved in together
June 2014.
And we had some sexy fun times in
the beginning. We had a lot
more energy eleven years ago. Yeah.
But the the day to day life of
it, it became less it's way less focused
on sex. Like, sex for us is kinky
sex, but our fuckery
almost never has sex involved. We'll do impact
scenes. We'll do this scene, that scene, and
and no sex is involved at all. Right.
But long distance for us,
so much
so much sex.
I wish I could give good advice for
people who are in nonsexual park exchange long
distance. I think you just play with your
dynamic like what kind of sub are you,
what kind of dom are you.
It's a lot of talking. Yeah. Whether you're
verbalizing it or you're typing it
or whatever. It's a lot of communication and
it's a lot of imagination.
JB could spin up via text, via email,
did not matter, could spin up a whole
fantasy for me of what he was gonna
do to me and what he wished he
could do to me. And
that worked too, you know.
We had whole fantasy kinks. Now thankfully, he
learned real quick. I don't dirty talk. I
don't know what I'm doing. I feel very
awkward. What? I don't what am I supposed
I don't know. I don't know. I don't
know what I'm supposed to say. And so
then I freeze. So he was very okay
with spinning up the conversation via text and
me going,
or I didn't speak quite an emoji, then
we didn't have quite as many emojis even
in 2013
as we do now. But if an emoji
could fit, I would and he would just
keep going. Thank god.
You know, I've always felt kind of lucky
in that to to not
not be comfortable with, not like, not do
dirty talk. I just can't.
And I've I've always been felt like I
was lucky to be the submissive because you
could just take the reins and say the
shit, and I just had to kind of
respond to let you know I was engaged
with you know, I was paying attention. I
was into it. Oh, man. But, like, as
a submissive,
sometimes there's no fucking expectation that you say
a goddamn word.
And I know you might think I find
that, difficult, but not in those moments. I
was grateful. I was like, nope. I'm I
don't even have to say anything.
I'm I'm needed here, but I'm not needed
here, if you know what I mean.
So, yeah,
it's the there was a lot of sexual
stuff. Once we decided we were gonna move
in together and we mapped out a plan,
the first plan was he was gonna move
up there because I didn't wanna have to,
like, uproot the kids.
And then we realized we could not make
that work. Like, everything we tried, nothing worked.
Yeah. You could not find a job with
them. So frustrating.
And so then we started making plans for
me and the kids to move down to
the Tampa Bay area, and everything got easier
once we went that direction. It was like,
that was the direction we were supposed to
go.
And then there was more task oriented stuff
because we were we were already figuring out
how we divide labor between us anyway, but
I you know, JB could go, hey. I'm
gonna need you to do blah, and I
would go, okay. And then there I was
being all submissive. Right? Yes. I was helping
to plan our own future. Sure. But the
mindset was like, I'm doing this for my
daddy. You know?
But it's long distance.
Get ready
in whatever way you communicate best to communicate
a fuck ton.
Imagination
kinda stuff, the fantasy stuff, and also the
how was your day, what are you doing,
what what does life look like for you
today,
and whatever your power exchange ends up being.
You know? I want you to do this
thing every day for me. That was his
thing. Every morning, he would pick my panties.
Every morning, my before I got dressed for
work, I had to send him a picture
of me wearing those panties. I had a
great mirror closet
closet with a mirror door,
full length, really wide. I could get some
great angles. I should have been taking more
pictures then. But I
anybody who knows me from all the
booty pics I used to post on Instagram,
me and my underwear, that's where that started
doing it for JV.
I don't have good lighting or good mirrors
anymore, and I don't like how the pictures
come out, so I don't do it anymore.
Also I barely wear underwear. So whatever whatever.
But, yeah, I mean, it just it developed
over time. And wherever JB could take control
that made sense Yeah. We negotiate it and
I'd let him. Wherever I'm a service that
I find it. I think I think service
that's have it easier because I could be
like, I'll do that for you and I'm
in my submissive mindset.
But I would do I would take on
as many tasks as I could for him.
You know, long distance was harder. There's a
lot more research. I think once I did
call your dentist for you.
I think you're right. Yeah. I did. Yeah.
That's when I had a job where I
had to talk on the phone, so it
was no stretch for me to pick up
a phone and call a random number and,
like, just talk to somebody.
But, you know, that's how that's how we
did it. Mhmm. And it was little by
little over time adding more and more, and
at some point deciding we don't wanna be
apart anymore. We don't want this to be
visits every, like, six to eight weeks. We
wanna be together every day. Mhmm.
And then
we started
mapping out life of what that would look
like and how we were gonna get there.
Excuse me. And I think that's that is
probably when we started
when our power exchange just became interwoven through
the relationship.
Because everything we did just had
the
flavor of power exchange. Mhmm. Because
you've been the decider from day one. If
there's a decision to be made, I'm gonna
defer to you.
And so even in the move, I would
I knew what I wanted and needed and
required, like, as a parent,
but I was still gonna bring him the
options and be like, what do you wanna
do, daddy? And that's where he was in
his dominant self a lot.
Because once we got to the
stress of, like, picking up lives and moving
and all of that stuff,
we were still sexual, but
it does put a damper on us. So,
yeah, that's
that's how we did that.
And I'm you know, I know it's the
boring answer. I know it can be the
very dissatisfying answer. People,
like, kinda were like, ugh. I just want
this to have happened ten minutes ago.
Goddamn. Talk to somebody that you vibe with,
that you like talking to. Right? Like, whether
that's through DMs or just on social or
in person, like,
and you you're not always gonna know right
away if the vibe is right. Like, I've
come across people and because of my head
space, because of their head space,
I didn't I didn't know I didn't think
that was a bad vibe. Those are different.
If I get a bad vibe, you very
rarely get a second chance with me. But
there was no vibe, and so I didn't
know. And it was polite conversation.
And then the next time I came across
them, I was in a different headspace. They
were in a different whatever. And then you
could tell if the vibe was good. If
the vibe is good, just keep chatting. Like,
again, without the, this is gonna be my
next kinky partner. Like, you don't know. You
don't know.
You know? If you start making those plans
after the first conversation, but by the fourth
conversation, you're like, oh my god. This person,
do I need to call somebody on this
part? You know what I mean? Like, the
vibe is all wrong.
You know? Now there's disappointment or you've you're
now having to extricate yourself out of situations
that you would never put yourself in if
you had known what they were like. You
know what I mean? Just just
just fucking be friends with folks. Like, get
to know just talk to them. I say
that as somebody doesn't wanna talk to anybody.
I'm telling you, if I could tell you
how to get in a time machine and
go back to 2012 and start a sex
blog
when we were when people still commented on
blogs,
I did figure out that part of my
blogging thing was the dopamine rush of
people commenting Mhmm. When it was positive. When
it was positive.
And I don't get that from blogging anymore.
Very few people comment. And so now for
different reasons, but one of those reasons is
Mhmm. It's not as interesting to me if
I'm always talking
to
me. But, yeah, I exit it in live
chat. Talk to people without expectations.
Yeah. This idea is to just are they
an interesting human that I would like to
be around again at the next month? Or
to be around them because they're an interesting
human, not because they're your soulmate in disguise
and, you know,
if you get in there real fast, you'll
figure like,
it's a very dissatisfying answer. I know. I
know. I know.
And I think that
the the dynamic shifts a little bit if
where you're at is, let's say, a play
party
or a dungeon where there's a heightened, like,
half these people are naked and there's a
lot of screaming and crying consensually. And, like,
that's a different vibe, and you might be
more in your
play mode than in your Mhmm. Get to
know you mode. And, you know, there's nothing
wrong with starting there, but, you know,
because I I Gotta start somewhere. I I
get that. Like, that's a whole, like, oh,
I'm gonna watch this person quail on that
person, and I'm feeling all kinds of things
about that. And, oh, they're gonna come talk
to me now. Like, that's
but even then, you're talking to them because
you think they're interesting, or you're talking to
them because you think they were good at
whatever you saw them do.
No expectation that you're gonna be their next
one. You know what I mean? I just
anyway.
Anyway. Anyhoo.
Those were all the questions. Okay.
Thank y'all for those of you who submitted
them. They're really interesting. Good questions. Good questions.
As usual with a q and a, my
throat hurts.
I'm trying to get back to it. I
do think that was the last one. Pretty
positive.
Yeah. That was it. Mhmm.
That's all we got. Okay. So are we,
good? Well, we will go into a bonus
section. Yes. I guess we are. Okay. Okay.
Keep it kinky, y'all. We'll see you next
week at 3PM
Eastern.
Dada. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to
the crickets? Sure.
Podcast listeners
at 3PM
is meaningless to you if you only listen.
It's still Friday for y'all, but we are
changing our livestream time. So just a reminder,
3PM. Do you wanna know what I've been
wanting to say every time I said 3PM?
What? I know we're in Eastern. Been in
Eastern all this time. My brain keeps on
and say Central.
I don't know why. I've not lived in
Central time zone since
2014.
True.
But for like two days, every time I've
thought of a time, my brain is like,
central.
No. Not central.
That is how we start mass confusion with
everybody.
I gotta at least keep the time zone
straight.
So
what you got for the bonus section? Are
you ready to talk about your tummy? Yeah.
Yeah.
We're waiting for the the office call so
he can go get a CT scan. Right.
We've been waiting for a day and a
half. The for those of you remember, a
month or so back,
I had some tests done.
Month feeling so hot.
First thing they said was heart. Mhmm. They
wanted to rule that out, and they did.
Everything
cardiovascular,
all that is good.
I can't wait till we can stop paying
on the payment plan for it. Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
And they put me on medication for GERD,
is it called? G e r d. I
don't remember what all the letters stand for.
Either.
And and it did help Mhmm. For a
while
until it stopped helping.
Mhmm.
So,
day before yesterday, it was really bad.
I told Kayla,
I need to see a doctor. I'm willing
to see a doctor now. Yeah.
So I called for him. Right.
And, went in,
and we're talking back and forth. And,
then they started do you still have your
gallbladder?
You. Mhmm. For now at least. Yeah.
And, you know, possible ulcer.
And so, you know, they wanna do a
abdomen
ish CT scan. Pelvis and abdomen. Yeah. CT.
And,
kind of,
in limbo, was supposed to waiting for the
call today. Yeah. Our doctor wanted him to
the best of possibility to do it Yesterday.
The day of the appointment, which was the
day before recording.
They
thankfully, our doctor's office is connected to a
lab that's all in house. It's a medical
center. Mhmm.
So they send us down the hallway for
him to get some lab work.
I won't tell the other part, but that
part is cute if you wanna share it.
Yeah. No.
Damn.
Oh, it's so adorable, but I I won't.
Anyway
Thank you. Lab work. And so then we're
waiting for the results because they had explained
we're gonna have to get authorization
for the CT scan, meaning from insurance. Yeah.
And they won't give authorization till lab results
are in. And so our doctor took this
seriously enough that she was rushing everything. Everything
was stat.
So we're like, okay. And we're sitting in
limbo. We're at the office waiting for somebody
to come say, okay. We're gonna schedule your
CT scan for
or okay.
Whatever. Whatever. Nobody comes. Nobody comes. Finally, the
assistant to the doctor comes. It's like, okay.
We're gonna let you go home because nothing's
happening as quickly as we wanted it to.
Right. Here's what you need to prep for
the CT. Mhmm. They're gonna call you and
give you a time to come in. We're
gonna try and make it for
Wednesday, the day we're recording. I did not
call you. I I spent my whole day
pretty much on hold
waiting for the phone call.
And I say on hold, I I wasn't
doing nothing, but I was You're still in
that place of, like, anticipate I was doing
little things that I could just drop in
a Right. Exactly.
And,
so, yeah, it didn't happen. And,
you know, yeah, kinda waiting on the insurance
now, it seems. Probably. Yeah. Knowing insurance companies.
Mhmm. Mhmm. Because it's often a, well, did
you do all these other 10,000,000 things
that aren't as effective as this one test
the doctor wants to do? But there's also
human error. The our doctor was on it,
and and everybody in her office was on
it yesterday afternoon.
But if they weren't still on it because
they've got patients coming in and they've handed
it off to whoever does the scheduling of
the lab, that might have fallen through cracks.
They might not realize this is because they
were saying, when you go get your CT
scan, when you are done with your CT
scan, which is at another building, you're gonna
drive back over here. Over here. Yeah. And
and let them know you're here to see
the doctor, and you will be seen in
between whoever whoever. Like, that's how seriously the
doctor was taking it. Yeah. I don't want
it to be an insurance problem, but it
probably is. I won't be surprised.
Yep. And I'm like, I hope you will
let us add on to your current payment
plan. We haven't met our deductible yet. And,
you know, we still get, like, air quote,
this big old air quotes discounted prices.
But a CT scan I know for an
MRI, they quoted me 3 or $400 with
our insurance plan. I don't know if a
CT scan would be less than, same as,
or more. Yeah. Your echocardiogram
between both procedures was about $500.
Yeah.
Yeah. About $500. Yeah. Maybe 6 no. It
was about 600.
It was something. I had to put it
on a payment plan. Yeah. And,
yeah. I do have to do the,
oral contrast.
Have the bottle sitting in the Pour it
into Powerade. Yep. Mhmm.
So, yeah, I will have to do that.
Yeah. Like, we're we're ready to go. Yep.
I just want some answers at this point.
I just wanna know really what the hell
was happening. I want you to find relief
and answers. But I think now I'm a
little bit
on edge is too strong. Like, it's
I'm personally fine. And as long as he's
doing mostly okay, I'm I'm good. But because
our doctor, who is very level headed, we
adore her, was
like, I want this information as fast as
you can get it to me.
Now I'm like, oh, wait.
No. Oh, okay. There she's trying to move
fast fast.
Should we be worried? I'm not gonna worry
until I have something to worry about. But
should we? Do I need to prep myself
for worry? Sort of like when you were
because you
we were seeing whoever could fit you in
when it first started. Right. And due to
age and medical history, they were like, heart.
It's your heart. And I was like, you're
gonna make my heart stop beating. Stop saying
that.
And that was a very
sort of, like, on edge moment because the
heart, that's serious. It's like crazy serious.
But
yeah. Her her urgency is making me feel
like
we need to be urgent about this. I'm
I'm trying not to,
No. Read into it too much. I'm just,
like, you know,
hopefully, she's thinking, well, you know, this has
been going on. Let's, you know, kinda push
this and get it Mhmm. Resolved.
That's how I'm seeing it. Well, and I
did think I saw her eyebrows raise
when you were like, the medication get for
GERD was working and now it's not. And
I think that's when she went,
wait. That's not supposed to happen. Yeah.
And yeah.
If she hadn't been so urgent Mhmm. I
think we'd be like, okay. It sucks. We
would like some answers. But okay. Yeah. Now
we're like, who's gonna call? When are they
gonna call?
Poor JB is taking his phone with him
everywhere. And if he has to, like, be
in the bathroom for anything, he's like, here
is my phone. Please babysit.
Mhmm. Yeah.
Now that's funny to me.
You waiting on a call from the doctor,
which would make sense. It is your medical
situation, your blah blah blah. But I am
the one who calls to make all the
appointments. We use,
the online portal that our office has.
I send
all of the written messages.
I have to make sure because we are
both in the same portal, but with two
different logins. I have to make
sure I'm in I'm logged into the right
one and that I remember to write his
name at the end, like, because I'm of
course, I'm an old lady. I write it
like it's an email and not just like
a like, so I don't say, like, dear
doctor, whatever. I don't do that. But, like,
we sign it at the end. Thank you,
comma, name. Mhmm. And there have been a
couple times I've scared myself going, did I
put his name for this one? This was
his account.
But, yeah, I I have to remind myself
when we're in there because I'm used to
calling to go, here are the symptoms. Here's
what we need. Blah blah blah blah. Or
when I'm messaging, here are the symptoms. Can
we get a refill on this prescription? Blah
blah blah.
We're in the office. They know us freaking
frack. They know we come as a a
pair. We
you will never see one without the other
at the doctor's office.
I have to remember and hold myself back
from explaining
his symptoms to the doctor.
But it's a good thing I'm there because
he sometimes won't mention some of his symptoms.
And I'm like, tell her about the nausea.
Don't forget the nausea.
I just didn't want her to think I
was nuts on that one.
Well, that was not just I didn't think
you were gonna tell her about your sneeze
thing.
Would you like to explain that one?
You Googled it, so it's a phenomenon other
people have experienced. It is something that other
people have experienced. Like, I Googled it,
and, basically, what happens sometimes in the morning,
before I eat, I will feel a little
nausea.
It's not like, you know, I'm running to
Right. Somewhere but that sicky feeling. It's that
it's that feeling.
Well, it it just kinda sits there,
and and then I'll sneeze,
and it's gone. The nausea's gone. The nausea's
gone. Yeah. The look on her face,
which was because you could see her, like,
wheel spinning, like, okay, what mechanism would be
causing? Right. Is that really happening? I stumped
the doctor.
I was like, oh, and I'm looking at
her. I'm like, is he a medical marvel?
Is that what we're discovering?
And that's when I piped up. I said,
I'm not the only one. I Googled it.
I started.
We are a delight wherever we go together.
Yes. Yes. We are. Thank God for this
doctor. Right. Thank God.
So, yeah, that's, that's been that for this
week. And, you know, you just been kinda
you you may have been making a trip
to see the oldest this weekend.
Have to. Yeah. Oh, that's right. His medication
I still need to remind myself to go
pick up his medication from the pharmacy, and
then I would drive it to him. Which,
you know what? I can't even complain about
that because
now that he has more of a social
life than he had the first two years
of college, I never hear from this child.
Never ever hear from this child.
Wait. I think I was supposed to have
this experience when he was 18.
I got used to, like, hearing from my
kid. We
for freshman and sophomore year, he would text
not every day. We'd go several days without
text. But if I realized it had been
several so, like, five to six days without
a text,
no fail. By the seventh day he was
calling me, wanting to talk, mean something, blah
blah blah,
I do not hear from that child. And
I am finally on track to be
the parent who gets, like, one and two
word texts. I used to get books. Okay?
He needed somebody to talk to, and I
was there.
Now he's got actual, like, you know,
Pierce's own age. Goddamn.
Right. And now I have to, like, experience
this. Wait. My child does not need me?
Alright.
It's a it I was supposed to have
gone through this two years ago,
but it's it is weird. It's quiet. Mhmm.
So
Yeah.
Lola's doing good. She's sleeping by my feet.
Yeah. I heard her call her when she
shook her head or whatever. Yeah.
She's she's been doing good. She's,
Yeah. Knock on wood. It's been quiet with
the the girls. Mhmm. Onyx has become and
I say aggressive. I mean it in, like,
a friendly way. Yeah. Very aggressive with her
desire
for love and affection. Yes.
I'm still not allowed to pick this cat
up. Y'all, it's not like I do not
try.
JB has managed it, what, twice now? Twice
now. A little bit longer each time, but
not for very long. It's not like we're
walking around cuddling her. Ella, you can pick
up and hold her like she is a
baby. Yeah.
She tolerates it from the kids more than
from us. But
and Onyx is like, bitch, if you touch
if you come under the undercarriage while I'm
standing
here, I'm out the door.
But in the morning,
she follows me around the house, and she
has this very distinct
meow. And it you Mhmm. It's clear she's
annoyed with you when she meows at you.
And she will follow me, and any flat
surface I'm vaguely near, she's jumping on. So
if when I walk into the living room
and I walk past her cat tree, she
jumps on it. But then I walk past
it, so she jumps on the top of
the couch. Then I walk past that Yeah.
And I'm going into the dining room, and
she jumps on a chair, and then she
jumps on the bench we have, and then
she'll jump on my seat. And I'm like
It's like, what is that what is that
that they do?
A park
parkour. Parkour. Parkour.
Meowing the
whole time. Meow. So this
morning, I took a few minutes. She followed
me to go to the bathroom, silly me.
And I'm in the bedroom after, you know,
and she's on the bed. And I'm like,
fine. I will give you some we were
there ten minutes, and she still was not
ready for me to leave. Mm-mm.
She came this close to licking my hand.
She sniffed it real hard. Like, I could
tell that her nose was wet. That's not
an onyx thing to do. I was like,
okay. So you've gotta, like, hit
not quite middle age
and you're you're relaxed enough to let your
nose touch my hand that you're aggressively
head butting. She gets so aggressive with, like,
doing that swipe that cats will do, like,
the side of their head for you to
rub against you, but she'll do it against
my hand that she'll literally get my my
finger is either trying to go up her
nose or in her ear, and she just
rolls with it. Mhmm. Like, that doesn't freak
you out, but me trying to gently pick
you up does.
Well, you know, she,
in the in the evening before we go
to bed, while I'm doing my little routine
to get, you know, the house ready and
everything,
she
expects. She expects. Because you trained her to
expect it. Her brushing. Oh, yeah. She will
be brushed at night. Yeah.
She will let me brush her because she
likes being brushed. She likes clearly likes the
sensation. Mhmm. But,
it's not it I could spend an hour
brushing her at any point in the day.
Ten minutes before
the normal routine, she would still expect the
same treatment
at the time. Yeah.
Yep. Okay.
I will not get
between,
a cat and her cat daddy. I'm just
I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing that.
I know better.
I know better. Oh, oh, speaking of this
time, not cat daddy, dog daddy.
The other night, over the weekend,
I can't remember which day it was. Monday
night?
I don't remember what we're doing.
Sunday night because we had game night,
on Discord Mhmm.
With the Patreon community.
Okay.
We get done with game night.
We go about, do our thing. We go
to bed. We're getting ready to go to
bed. Yeah. Lola Oh my god. Yeah. Usually
is already either in her crate or on
the couch sleeping at when we are getting
ready to go to bed. She's done for
the day. She comes in the kitchen. She
leans against JB's legs. She leans against mine.
We give her love and we're like, what
are you doing awake? Loving, loving, loving, loving.
And we're like, that's so weird. And JB's
like, okay now, Lola. Okay. Go to bed.
And she's a good girl. She's all. She
did it. We are in our bedroom. We
are, like, we are naked, y'all. We're ready
to be in we were in the bed.
We were ready we were under the covers.
And JB goes, oh, shit. I know why
she was in the kitchen.
Yeah. Why was she in the kitchen?
I forgot to give her her,
big treat evening treat. Her her dessert at
night. Yeah. It's like her last treat she
gets, and it's her, like, her good ones.
Her big premium treat for the day.
And so you you absolutely know this man
got up, put clothes on, went back out,
got her out of wherever she was sleeping,
and gave her her treat. Right? We all
know that's what happened. Right? Of course.
Let me just say, if in the middle
of the night, I realized I had not
gotten my diet Coke during the day,
sucks to suck. Lay your ass down and
go to sleep.
Just saying.
I'm just saying. I
mm-mm. I am in third place
after Onyx and Lola.
It's fine. It's fine.
Ella's not really
on the rating.
Ella's always spit out of him.
Poor Ella. Ella can do nothing right for
JB.
I'm the one who does litter boxes and
cleans up,
outside the litter box because apparently her ass
hangs over the we have a lidded litter
box because her ass really does hang over.
She still manages to have her ass hang
over out the entrance, and I I clean
up a lot of pee.
But I like Ella more than
And I'm cleaning up her piss.
Ella's brain dead. She she is not she
does not get possession of the brain cell.
That is so true. No. We just look
at her and go, thank god you're pretty.
And she's Exactly. She's so cute. She's so
cute. She's got that perfect pink nose. She
got Mhmm. Pink Toby. Which is, you know,
got the fluffy ferns. Yeah. Yeah. And she
will let you hold her like a baby.
But she also whines. Oh my god. Oh
my god. And because she's not allowed to
hold the brain cell,
Onyx has permanent
possession Right. And probably a couple extras because
that Onyx is smart.
Yeah.
She will she'll be eating her breakfast,
and she's gotten slower about eating over the
past several months. Mhmm. Not like she's not
eating. She's just slower than she used to
be. She doesn't unhind her jaw anymore. Right.
So she will
not be done with her own food. Onyx
eats primarily in the bedroom
so that she'll actually eat. If the bedroom
door opens because we're letting Onyx out because
I'm coming out whatever Onyx is done with
her breakfast,
Ella will stop eating her food to leave
and go see if she can get whatever
Onyx has left
behind consistently.
Yeah. It's like, coral, you you you haven't
even finished this yet. Finish all your food.
Do you do you know
see, I I feed I feed the two
cats first in the morning. You have to
or oh my god.
Yeah. They'd cry the whole time.
And once they're settled, then I feed
Lola. Who is the ultimate good girl because
she's she's she just sits there and waits
patiently. Mhmm. Now,
I made shelves in the kitchen Mhmm. So
that the cats can eat up off the
ground. So they're away, you know, so There's
no worry about Lola getting into their
food. That's before we knew how much of
a good girl Lola is. Yeah. Like, Lola's
gonna graze, but she'll let you leave your
bowl. She won't, like, slurp in your bowl
while you're in. You know?
She's got manners. Yeah. So
Ella's spot where she eats is pretty much
over where
Lola Mhmm. Eats. Mhmm. So when I prepare
Lola's
food,
I bring it over. We do our little
thing. She sits and does her little Oh,
he's trained her. Like, he does puts a
finger up, and Lola just sits like a
very pretty girl. Mhmm. I mean, he could
probably train me the same way, but And
she doesn't move until I put that finger
down and say go. I don't know if
I could do that. I don't I don't
think I'm as good a girl as Lola.
Yeah. She fidgety. Yeah. I know.
But but when I when I do that
Mhmm. She stops eating.
Ella. And Ella stops eating and she's leaning
over and you're like, what what they got?
What do that? Maybe it's better than mine.
Yeah.
Ella.
Now for all that
JB acts like he does not like Ella,
let me tell you I think I've told
this before what what he does. So
sometimes Onyx goes off her fucking feet. Okay?
And she doesn't want that flavor of wet
stuff. Maybe it's batch bronze. Something they they
screwed up the recipe. I don't know. She
wanna eat it. So we always keep dry
food on hand for those times because sometimes
when she won't eat wet, she will at
least eat dry.
To
to be kind to Ella, because Ella just
wants a bowl of food in front her.
She does not know or care. Is it
gonna be wet? Is it gonna be dry?
That makes no matter to her. Hot cold,
she don't care. She'll she'll eat it in
her bowl. As long as it's put in
front of her, she will eat. Right.
But what JB will do unprompted,
when he gives Onyx a bowl of dry
food, he sprinkles
a little bit of dry food on Ella's
food and we call that her croutons.
And he'll be like, that damn cat. I'm
like, that damn cat, you still gave her
her croutons?
You still she didn't ask for it. She
didn't know to ask for it. We're frenemies.
I think you love her. You just don't
like her very
much. You love her. You just don't like
her.
She would not be your friend in another
in another universe.
Anyway Yeah. Anyhoo.
That's us Mhmm. And our crazy fur babies.
Exactly.
So are we ready to, call it a
night? Yeah. Wrap it up. I am. I'm
I'm wearing too many,
like, clothes that I can be seen in.
I'm ready to, like, wear the stuff where
my tits are practically hanging out, but I'm
comfy, and that's all that matters. I'm ready
for very soft and very comfy too now.
Mhmm. And dessert. We have dessert. That's right.
Oh, yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm. So we're gonna go
do that. Yep. Okay.
Dessert.
It's, apples
It's an apple dumpling. Based dessert. So, yeah.
Gotta go. And it's the last of it.
Yeah. We finished it up. Mhmm. Anyway, we're
gonna go, next week, Wednesday, 3PM
Eastern. I almost said Central again. Mhmm. That's
when we'll be live streaming. Hopefully, that's a
time that works for folks who wanna go
to the stream and haven't been able to.
We hope to see you there. Okay. Alright.
We'll be back next week. Yep. Okay. Alright.
Bye. Bye.