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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four fifty four. Kayla Lords here with the

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one, the only, the much less stressed than

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you were last week at this time when

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we sat down to attempt to record John

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Brownstone. Correct. Yes. You were there was gnashing

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of teeth. Yes. There was growling at anybody

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who looked at you funny. Absolutely. There was

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leave you the fuck alone and let you

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figure this out. Yeah. Yeah.

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I tried. I tried real hard. I know.

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I know.

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So, yeah, we weren't here, last week if

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you were like, where the hell is my

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episode? Because we had some tech issues that

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had to be sorted out. Yeah. When did

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the tech issues,

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show their face? Right as we were sitting

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down to record.

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Because of course they did. Right. Because that's

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when all the heavy usage gets put down

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put on the computer. Exactly.

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So but they're sorted.

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Sort of. Yeah. For for now. Right. Like,

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the the baby fix that is the fastest

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has been done. Right. The next fix that's

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more permanent but, you know, costs money. Right.

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That's the next step. Exactly. Right. We'll get

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there. Mhmm. Oh, that's not what we're talking

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about today. Although, there might be complaining in

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the bonus section because, of course, this week

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we're actually taking a few topics that we've

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covered in the past

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and can't

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justify doing a fully new episode on, and

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just giving updates about how things have changed

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and shifted for us over the years because

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that's what happens

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in your power exchange and in your life.

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As time moves on, things change and shift.

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And so we're gonna talk about that. Welcome

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to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is

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your first time listening, glad to have you.

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If you're back for another week, welcome back.

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Loving BDSM is produced every Monday for your

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kinky pleasure in education, and show notes are

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found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FatLife at

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loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram and technically threads at that handle

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I will

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forever. Motherfucking hate. It's loving d s and

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the number one or at loving d s

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one,

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on blue sky at loving b d s

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m dot blah blah blah blah, whatever the

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hell that is.

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I'm not I've commit so many things to

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memory. I'm not committing that one to memory.

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I just gotta remember our name.

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Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm,

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where you can watch us live from the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes.

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I'm gonna interrupt with commercial time before we

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get into anything.

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How would you like literally more? 30 plus.

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It's almost 40. It's like 38

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opportunities

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in one bundle to improve your kink life.

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And it's one price. And it's a price

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that's a bananas

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discount

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of 96%

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off.

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If this sounds vaguely familiar to anybody who's

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been here around for a year or more,

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we're talking about the kink bundle. The kink

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bundle is back for another year. And it's

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only But

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it

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But it's only available through September 24, so

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if you want it, you need to get

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it now. Link is in the show notes.

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Our communication and power exchange workbook, which isn't

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even on Etsy yet because I'm a slacker

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who can't focus,

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is part of this year's bundle. So unless

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you were part of our Patreon membership drive

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at the beginning of the year, you haven't

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been able to get this, and now you

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can get this, among other things. Because other

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topics in this bundle

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include

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dealing with shame, building confidence, dealing with jealousy,

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exploring masochism, switching, spanking, and more, dishing out

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pain without leaving marks, navigating munches and play

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parties. And there's even more than all of

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that, y'all. There's so much in this bundle

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this year. And it's only $99

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but you can only get it through September

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24. The link to the kink bundle is

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in the show notes of this episode. It's

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gonna be in our email newsletter that comes

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out on Friday. It's gonna be in several

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other emails if you're on our email news

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list.

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Plus

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it's gonna be on our socials. So

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do not miss out. Use the link wherever

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you can find it.

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Snatch this thing up while you can because

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for everything you get, it's it's such a

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good deal, y'all.

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So we hope you check out this year's

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kink bundle

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commercial over.

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Okay. So before we get into this week's

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topic

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announcement, assuming

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assuming the camera issues stay mostly resolved, podcast

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listeners, be glad you don't have to worry

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about this.

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Our Friday night live stream is supposed to

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be this Friday, September 19,

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starting at 09:30PM

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Eastern.

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We intend to be there.

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We don't really have time to be, like,

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moving it around, so we intend to be

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there.

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The

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camera

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that we've made work for this week's livestream,

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will it be an improved view?

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I don't know. But we think we'll be

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there.

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So Friday night, September nineteenth,

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09:30PM.

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See what we can come up with. Okay.

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Okay.

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Okay.

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Let's get into this. Now

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I have

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listed this out,

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not quite a speed run, but because there's

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but there there are a lot.

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JB, last week when I put this all

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together, when we thought we were gonna do

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this last week,

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I had a list of 10 and he

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said, I don't know why eight was the

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number he chose, but he said, let's do

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eight. And if we haven't run long, maybe

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we can do the last two. So

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we really are gonna try and be

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thorough but brief without

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completely

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rehashing

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the episode we're referencing because the link to

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that episode is in the places. If you

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wanna know what we were going through at

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the time, what it was like for us

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then.

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Some of the things we'll say will be

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probably a bit of a repeat. But for

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me, the kind of the point of this

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is to show

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that things do shift and change. We

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we know that, but I think it gets

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forgotten sometimes in something like power exchange where

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you go, this right here is working right

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now. I need it to be like this

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forever in this exact way and it will

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it will not be like that. I just

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it just won't. But also when it's not

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working, when things are not going well, it's

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easy to go. It will always be be

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this way. And that is also not true.

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Everything just sort of moves and shifts too

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fucking often for that to be true.

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So

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that's kind of what we're gonna do. I'm

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gonna tell you what this episode is from

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and what year. So we we'll probably talk

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about the distance between

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where we were then and where we are

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now.

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So I this one I put at the

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top because

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I hear JB

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say some

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version of,

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oh my god. This aging

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thing sucks. This getting old thing sucks. The

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year I am getting old. And I

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so

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we did an episode,

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on aging and BDSM.

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Mhmm. It's episode one ninety four from 2019

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when I turned 40, because 40 is a

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milestone, and I was having feelings about it

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clearly.

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I'm about to turn 46 in a little

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over a month from the time of recording.

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And, JB, in the past

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really, I've heard it in from you in

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the past, like, year.

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You're you feel like you're feeling your age

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more than even you were saying

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six years ago, almost six years ago.

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So,

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what would you like to say about your

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experience as a dom, a sadist, a kinkster,

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and being,

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64?

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Because that's where you at right now. Yeah.

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I am. I am. I am.

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My how things change,

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even in just six years.

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Yeah. The scenes aren't as long as in

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or as intense as they used to be.

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No.

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No.

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For different reasons that probably are not about

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aging, I'm I'm okay with that. I would

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rather have shorter scenes,

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less intensity, more frequently than we do. And

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I think the frequency is less about aging

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and more about stress levels.

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I think what happens in the scene might

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be more about aging.

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I hate to ask it this way because

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it it definitely makes you sound like air

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quote old, and I don't consider you that.

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I know some of you do, and then

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I don't.

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Do you, like

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my impression is you feel like you're kind

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of slowing down in certain ways Yes. In

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ways I know you do not like because

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you definitely make that clear to me that

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you don't like it. I don't like it.

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I don't like it at all.

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Yeah. I I am slowing down even in

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in the way I work

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and things I do. You know, I

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I keep looking at these two trees in

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the backyard that are hanging over from the

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woods

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that we didn't have the tree folks do.

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And I'm like, I could do that.

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You could do it once. Yeah.

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Yeah. You could do it once. Yeah.

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You know? And,

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yeah, the you know, it it's it's not

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same anymore. It's not the same.

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Now do you feel like

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in your dominance or even in your sadism,

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not the physical acts,

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like, you know, with At at this Do

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you feel like on the mental level you're

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slowing down? Do you feel like you're just

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Not not not not work. No. Not mental

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level slowing down. It's it's more physical Mhmm.

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Than anything.

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And,

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you know, the mental and I and I

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think that's why

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as as we've been going going on this

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00:09:35,269 --> 00:09:38,389
year, I'm finding I'm leaning more and more

274
00:09:38,389 --> 00:09:39,529
on the power exchange.

275
00:09:40,365 --> 00:09:40,865
Yeah.

276
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:42,705
Yeah. And I'm

277
00:09:43,085 --> 00:09:43,585
at

278
00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:45,644
an age myself where we've

279
00:09:46,365 --> 00:09:47,644
I don't remember when, but we did the

280
00:09:47,644 --> 00:09:50,365
episode on perimenopause, and I am deep in

281
00:09:50,365 --> 00:09:51,184
fucking perimenopause.

282
00:09:52,365 --> 00:09:54,490
And that's where I feel my aging, but

283
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:56,330
I think I'm at a I'm coming out,

284
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:59,389
like, on an uphill swing of perimenopause where

285
00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:01,790
I am more interested

286
00:10:02,649 --> 00:10:04,009
than I have been in a very long

287
00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:06,970
time in fuckery, whether it's actual sex or

288
00:10:06,970 --> 00:10:09,485
just kinky acts or whatever. And

289
00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:12,284
we're we're at this kind of awkward

290
00:10:13,225 --> 00:10:13,725
place

291
00:10:14,184 --> 00:10:14,684
where

292
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:16,524
we're a little

293
00:10:16,985 --> 00:10:19,544
we're not at the same level there Mhmm.

294
00:10:19,794 --> 00:10:20,294
Because

295
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:23,320
you would love to do more physical things.

296
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,799
I know you would, but your body is

297
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,740
not allowing you to do it. No.

298
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,159
And I'm now finally I don't know every

299
00:10:32,919 --> 00:10:34,835
Mercury's in the microwave or something, but in

300
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:36,355
a good way, whatever the good version of

301
00:10:36,355 --> 00:10:37,875
that is because I'm like, you know, you

302
00:10:37,875 --> 00:10:39,475
could just drag me around by my hair

303
00:10:39,475 --> 00:10:42,355
more often and I would be super duper

304
00:10:42,355 --> 00:10:43,174
fucking happy.

305
00:10:44,914 --> 00:10:45,414
So

306
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,090
there is there is that that one of

307
00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:52,330
those age gap things that anybody in an

308
00:10:52,330 --> 00:10:54,009
age gap, if you haven't gotten there yet,

309
00:10:54,009 --> 00:10:56,009
you will eventually if you're in it long

310
00:10:56,009 --> 00:10:56,509
enough.

311
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,450
But and yet and yet

312
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:02,485
Mhmm. You do surprise me. Yeah.

313
00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:05,024
So TMI for people who didn't know we

314
00:11:05,024 --> 00:11:06,644
used to put our ass on the Internet,

315
00:11:07,424 --> 00:11:08,485
among other things.

316
00:11:10,144 --> 00:11:11,204
This past weekend,

317
00:11:12,065 --> 00:11:14,464
I mean, we switched positions three times. It

318
00:11:14,464 --> 00:11:17,850
was Saturday night. Mhmm. Fun time was had

319
00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:20,909
by all. I was having to not scream

320
00:11:21,129 --> 00:11:21,789
in pleasure.

321
00:11:23,769 --> 00:11:25,370
And then it even carried over into the

322
00:11:25,370 --> 00:11:26,889
morning. And that was the thing. Like, you

323
00:11:26,889 --> 00:11:28,830
were, like, moving me around.

324
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,110
Mhmm. It was it was delightful and delicious.

325
00:11:32,365 --> 00:11:33,985
And then you woke me up.

326
00:11:34,764 --> 00:11:37,165
And I was like, first of all, we

327
00:11:37,165 --> 00:11:38,924
are not at a point in life due

328
00:11:38,924 --> 00:11:40,845
to age, due to stress, due to life

329
00:11:40,845 --> 00:11:43,325
stuff. I don't know what. We don't usually

330
00:11:43,325 --> 00:11:45,165
fuck two days in a row. Like, once

331
00:11:45,165 --> 00:11:46,845
we've done it the one time of the

332
00:11:46,845 --> 00:11:49,860
weekend, we're tired. We're good. We Yeah. We've

333
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:51,879
relieved that stress and tension.

334
00:11:52,259 --> 00:11:53,940
Now we just wanna sleep in the next

335
00:11:53,940 --> 00:11:54,440
day.

336
00:11:55,059 --> 00:11:57,960
Right. So Yeah. To be woken up,

337
00:11:58,899 --> 00:12:02,339
I was like, he's feeling some energy. Knock

338
00:12:02,339 --> 00:12:02,839
knock.

339
00:12:03,295 --> 00:12:04,514
Is it so

340
00:12:06,095 --> 00:12:08,014
so because you have all of this time

341
00:12:08,014 --> 00:12:09,475
and experience now. Mhmm.

342
00:12:11,215 --> 00:12:12,894
Is it just what I imagine it to

343
00:12:12,894 --> 00:12:15,054
be in the mornings, some mornings maybe not

344
00:12:15,054 --> 00:12:16,815
all, you just do have more energy and

345
00:12:16,815 --> 00:12:18,970
as your day progresses That's it's like a

346
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:21,529
winding down. And that's exactly it. And and

347
00:12:21,529 --> 00:12:24,110
it's not even so much the energy.

348
00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:27,769
To a certain extent it is, you know.

349
00:12:27,769 --> 00:12:29,850
I mean, I'm not a 25 year old

350
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:30,590
kid anymore.

351
00:12:32,384 --> 00:12:33,824
But, I don't think I would have liked

352
00:12:33,824 --> 00:12:35,424
you at that age. I don't think if

353
00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:36,784
assuming we were at the same age and

354
00:12:36,784 --> 00:12:38,784
didn't have a fucking age gap, y'all. Right.

355
00:12:38,865 --> 00:12:40,704
I don't think we probably wouldn't have been

356
00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:41,824
you wouldn't have been who you are. You

357
00:12:41,824 --> 00:12:43,985
wouldn't have been your mature self. That no.

358
00:12:43,985 --> 00:12:45,745
That time in your life, no. You were

359
00:12:45,745 --> 00:12:47,184
doing shit you should have been arrested for

360
00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,840
is all I'm saying. I'm not giving details,

361
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,920
but Yep. And now you got me off

362
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,120
topic, and I forgot the hell I was

363
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,080
talking about. Goddamn it. It's not an energy

364
00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,420
thing, you said, or a winding down. Yeah.

365
00:12:57,639 --> 00:12:58,679
It's it's a,

366
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,899
it it's almost like a,

367
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,705
you know, going through hills and valleys. Mhmm.

368
00:13:04,845 --> 00:13:06,144
Okay. Because as

369
00:13:07,565 --> 00:13:08,384
at night,

370
00:13:09,404 --> 00:13:11,245
I'm kind of at my worst most of

371
00:13:11,245 --> 00:13:12,845
the time. Yeah. Especially if you've had a

372
00:13:12,845 --> 00:13:14,845
long day and now you're heavily medicated to

373
00:13:15,165 --> 00:13:17,169
And, you know, then I I I take

374
00:13:17,169 --> 00:13:19,350
what I medication I need for my back.

375
00:13:20,129 --> 00:13:20,629
The

376
00:13:22,370 --> 00:13:25,730
elevating helps. Mhmm. Okay. That helps a lot.

377
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:26,950
It re it relaxes.

378
00:13:27,970 --> 00:13:28,220
And,

379
00:13:29,045 --> 00:13:31,445
that's important because what it does is it

380
00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:34,004
helps me sleep through the night. Mhmm. Mhmm.

381
00:13:34,004 --> 00:13:35,205
Which is what you need in order to

382
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,805
be able to sleep the next day. To

383
00:13:36,805 --> 00:13:38,644
to to feel better to get up in

384
00:13:38,644 --> 00:13:40,004
the morning. Right. So when I get up

385
00:13:40,004 --> 00:13:40,745
in the morning,

386
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:43,220
you know, I'm like, okay. Yeah. I'm, you

387
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:45,059
know, ready for the day. Then as day

388
00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:47,379
goes on, you know, it it it creeps

389
00:13:47,379 --> 00:13:48,279
up. Sure.

390
00:13:49,539 --> 00:13:51,299
So it's kinda like a, you know, that

391
00:13:51,299 --> 00:13:53,139
that roller coaster, the ups and downs. But

392
00:13:53,139 --> 00:13:54,899
then clearly you have times where you're like,

393
00:13:54,899 --> 00:13:56,995
oh, I got enough energy to do something.

394
00:13:56,995 --> 00:13:58,274
Mhmm. The next thing I know, my hair

395
00:13:58,274 --> 00:14:00,514
is being pulled. Yeah. And I'm not I'm

396
00:14:00,514 --> 00:14:01,735
not mad about it.

397
00:14:02,434 --> 00:14:04,514
I will never be mad about it. So

398
00:14:04,514 --> 00:14:05,794
I mean, as it's con as long as

399
00:14:05,794 --> 00:14:07,634
it's consensual, I'm not mad. And I I'm

400
00:14:07,634 --> 00:14:09,315
not gonna lie too, but the the weather

401
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,995
helps a little bit too. Yeah. Well, there's

402
00:14:10,995 --> 00:14:12,959
something about trying to do anything in this

403
00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:14,879
Florida heat. Yeah. I mean, I'm just mad

404
00:14:14,879 --> 00:14:16,559
that I had to move at all and

405
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:19,120
that, that things are touching my body. So

406
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,220
I Mhmm. Yeah. Our

407
00:14:21,679 --> 00:14:22,820
our sex life

408
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,039
I think if we tracked it, we'd probably

409
00:14:25,039 --> 00:14:27,434
see that every summer, it does take a

410
00:14:27,514 --> 00:14:30,394
a dip because nobody wants to touch each

411
00:14:30,394 --> 00:14:30,894
other.

412
00:14:31,274 --> 00:14:31,774
Right.

413
00:14:34,554 --> 00:14:35,054
So,

414
00:14:35,595 --> 00:14:37,274
you know, that that's kinda what it what

415
00:14:37,274 --> 00:14:39,355
it is for me, and that that's why,

416
00:14:39,355 --> 00:14:39,934
you know,

417
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:42,960
some days by the end of the day,

418
00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,279
I'm I'm still kind of okay. Mhmm. And,

419
00:14:45,279 --> 00:14:46,440
you know, I can

420
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:47,279
but,

421
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,759
most days, I'm just ready to

422
00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:53,519
Sure. And two things. One, before I forget

423
00:14:53,519 --> 00:14:55,040
it because I almost forgot it a second

424
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:55,540
ago.

425
00:14:56,399 --> 00:14:58,445
I do feel like what we have done

426
00:14:58,825 --> 00:15:01,545
as we've had a business together, which we'll

427
00:15:01,545 --> 00:15:02,524
come to that topic

428
00:15:03,545 --> 00:15:04,045
shortly,

429
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,205
is we have,

430
00:15:06,665 --> 00:15:07,165
prioritized

431
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,705
your both of us, but definitely your health

432
00:15:09,705 --> 00:15:10,365
and well-being

433
00:15:10,745 --> 00:15:12,684
to be able to do the work that

434
00:15:13,309 --> 00:15:15,809
you want to do Mhmm. And still, like,

435
00:15:16,110 --> 00:15:18,029
live a life. And so sometimes that means

436
00:15:18,029 --> 00:15:20,429
that, yeah, your energy and then all has

437
00:15:20,429 --> 00:15:21,409
to go into work,

438
00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:22,529
and then

439
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:23,889
your recovery

440
00:15:24,589 --> 00:15:25,394
has to be

441
00:15:26,274 --> 00:15:28,195
as much as you can with whether it's

442
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,514
medication or this or that Right. Heating pads,

443
00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:32,514
the TENS, you know, whatever you need. And

444
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,675
so that means that the fuckery will sometimes

445
00:15:34,675 --> 00:15:36,434
take a back seat because that's not the

446
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:37,554
priority. We need you to be able to

447
00:15:37,554 --> 00:15:39,059
get up in the morning. Knock knock on

448
00:15:39,059 --> 00:15:40,580
wood. It's been a long time since I've

449
00:15:40,580 --> 00:15:42,440
needed the TENS TENS machine.

450
00:15:43,299 --> 00:15:43,799
True.

451
00:15:44,179 --> 00:15:46,440
But there are more times than I'd like

452
00:15:50,595 --> 00:15:51,794
where you're like, oh, I need to get

453
00:15:51,794 --> 00:15:53,154
that heating pad out. I need to just

454
00:15:53,154 --> 00:15:55,394
sit still. Yeah. And and I don't mind

455
00:15:55,394 --> 00:15:57,174
talking, you know, I have,

456
00:15:58,115 --> 00:15:58,615
several

457
00:15:59,154 --> 00:15:59,975
bad discs

458
00:16:00,914 --> 00:16:02,214
in my, spine,

459
00:16:02,674 --> 00:16:04,294
and I also have,

460
00:16:05,210 --> 00:16:06,509
spurs, bone spurs.

461
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,889
That have literally only gotten worse as you've

462
00:16:08,889 --> 00:16:11,309
gotten older. Right. It's it's arthritis. Right.

463
00:16:11,690 --> 00:16:12,970
The other thing I wanted to ask you,

464
00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:14,649
you said you're leaning more into the power

465
00:16:14,649 --> 00:16:16,730
exchange because it requires less you don't need

466
00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:19,529
physical energy really for that. How like, in

467
00:16:19,529 --> 00:16:22,065
what ways for you, what's that looking like?

468
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,304
How are how are you I know you're

469
00:16:24,304 --> 00:16:26,144
all up in that obedience app. Yeah. I

470
00:16:26,144 --> 00:16:28,144
mean, I appreciate it, but still And and

471
00:16:28,144 --> 00:16:29,664
that's and that's the thing.

472
00:16:31,504 --> 00:16:32,164
You know,

473
00:16:33,264 --> 00:16:33,504
the

474
00:16:36,659 --> 00:16:37,879
I I have been

475
00:16:38,259 --> 00:16:38,759
so

476
00:16:40,019 --> 00:16:41,399
focused with work,

477
00:16:42,899 --> 00:16:45,299
especially this past summer. Last summer, I was

478
00:16:45,299 --> 00:16:46,899
able to take You you did. You took

479
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:47,860
a lot of time off. I I took

480
00:16:47,860 --> 00:16:49,139
a lot of time off. I was able

481
00:16:49,139 --> 00:16:50,899
to take, like, a Monday off and a

482
00:16:50,899 --> 00:16:53,075
a We were less busy sales wise last

483
00:16:53,075 --> 00:16:54,575
week. We we were less busy.

484
00:16:55,195 --> 00:16:57,595
True. But I was able to condense a

485
00:16:57,595 --> 00:16:59,434
lot of my work into those those few

486
00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:00,335
days. True.

487
00:17:03,595 --> 00:17:04,815
And, you know, this year,

488
00:17:05,309 --> 00:17:07,490
I was not able to do that. Mhmm.

489
00:17:07,549 --> 00:17:09,390
You know, I'm I can maybe slip in

490
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:10,990
a half a day, you know, a full

491
00:17:10,990 --> 00:17:12,049
day here and there,

492
00:17:13,150 --> 00:17:13,650
but,

493
00:17:14,029 --> 00:17:15,950
you know, I I was not able to

494
00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:18,430
do that at all this year. Mhmm. And

495
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:19,170
with that,

496
00:17:20,115 --> 00:17:22,115
you know, and I I even told you

497
00:17:22,115 --> 00:17:24,035
beginning of summer, I I've had had a

498
00:17:24,035 --> 00:17:25,875
lot of things on my mind that I

499
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:28,035
was creating and and trying to do in

500
00:17:28,035 --> 00:17:30,615
different things and Mhmm. You know. So

501
00:17:31,075 --> 00:17:34,055
with all that, yeah, the Obedience app has

502
00:17:34,759 --> 00:17:36,940
been a big help for me. Mhmm.

503
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,220
Okay. Because I can I can focus on

504
00:17:40,679 --> 00:17:41,899
the things that I need

505
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:42,859
and,

506
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:44,380
you know,

507
00:17:45,319 --> 00:17:47,639
they okay? Alright, baby girl. Here, here's what's

508
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:50,125
We have one conversation that we have not

509
00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:51,644
had time to get to, but it's because

510
00:17:51,644 --> 00:17:53,404
we both been Yeah. Busy for things to

511
00:17:53,404 --> 00:17:55,805
add to the obedience app. But, you know

512
00:17:55,884 --> 00:17:57,965
yeah. It's sort of like for other factors

513
00:17:57,965 --> 00:18:00,465
of, like, not just aging, but finding shortcuts

514
00:18:01,019 --> 00:18:02,940
to do the things we wanna be doing,

515
00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:04,480
in this case, power exchange.

516
00:18:04,859 --> 00:18:06,160
You know? I do

517
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,259
I don't know how you've been thinking about

518
00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,759
it. Mhmm. But from my perspective,

519
00:18:12,059 --> 00:18:13,119
I don't necessarily

520
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,954
I don't feel like I have felt your

521
00:18:16,954 --> 00:18:17,855
dom energy

522
00:18:18,634 --> 00:18:19,134
anymore,

523
00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:21,674
and sometimes not a lot. We've because we've

524
00:18:21,674 --> 00:18:23,035
been busy. We'll get to that section when

525
00:18:23,035 --> 00:18:24,335
we get to our business. Yep.

526
00:18:24,714 --> 00:18:26,414
Because we've been busy. Mhmm.

527
00:18:27,194 --> 00:18:30,099
And so it I like knowing that internally,

528
00:18:30,099 --> 00:18:31,619
you're like, no. No. No. I am I

529
00:18:31,619 --> 00:18:34,019
am doing my dominant thing. And now we

530
00:18:34,019 --> 00:18:35,700
just have to find the balance of, hi.

531
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,140
I'm over here waiting for you to do

532
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:38,599
the dominant thing. Right.

533
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:40,819
Hey. Two days in a row pulling my

534
00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:43,315
fucking hair and fucking me senseless. I'm I'm

535
00:18:43,315 --> 00:18:45,795
good with it. I'm not mad. Okay. Anything

536
00:18:45,795 --> 00:18:47,715
else you'd like to add about? Not not

537
00:18:47,715 --> 00:18:48,835
in that. Not in that. I don't really

538
00:18:48,835 --> 00:18:50,755
have I don't really have much to add

539
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,615
because we did the episode on perimenopause

540
00:18:53,315 --> 00:18:54,134
semi recently.

541
00:18:55,394 --> 00:18:57,779
And that's where all of my aging stuff

542
00:18:57,779 --> 00:18:59,240
is sitting. Also,

543
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:01,720
I don't have answers

544
00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:03,320
for

545
00:19:03,779 --> 00:19:05,880
either the things that I

546
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:08,440
think are probably due to aging and also

547
00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:11,220
for how to make the solutions that I

548
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:13,299
think I need possible. So, like, I don't

549
00:19:13,299 --> 00:19:15,914
have an update other than I'm almost 46,

550
00:19:15,914 --> 00:19:16,815
and I'm in

551
00:19:17,275 --> 00:19:19,055
the depths of despair

552
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:20,335
of perimenopause.

553
00:19:22,234 --> 00:19:24,154
And we're just surviving out here because that's

554
00:19:24,154 --> 00:19:25,295
all you can do sometimes.

555
00:19:25,994 --> 00:19:28,049
Anything else you'd like to add, though? Okay.

556
00:19:28,369 --> 00:19:28,869
Next

557
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:32,529
one. Mhmm. I feel like we've kind of

558
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:34,210
we've kind of given an update a little

559
00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:35,890
bit. Right. This one is,

560
00:19:36,690 --> 00:19:39,809
the low libido, low sexual arousal is a

561
00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:41,110
more accurate term.

562
00:19:41,795 --> 00:19:43,954
In our power exchange, this is from episode

563
00:19:43,954 --> 00:19:46,194
two sixty four from 2021,

564
00:19:46,194 --> 00:19:49,634
which is actually two years after I like,

565
00:19:49,634 --> 00:19:51,174
my libido fucking

566
00:19:51,474 --> 00:19:53,174
tanked. Yeah. Tanks.

567
00:19:53,519 --> 00:19:54,259
And at

568
00:19:54,799 --> 00:19:56,259
around around 2021,

569
00:19:56,559 --> 00:19:59,279
because that's all the insanity was going on,

570
00:19:59,279 --> 00:20:02,180
your libido kinda went prime. Oh, it it

571
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,039
it bottomed out. Mhmm. Mhmm. It it bottomed

572
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:06,240
out. So where do you feel like you

573
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:06,980
are now?

574
00:20:09,065 --> 00:20:11,384
I'm I'm in a better place. Oh, yeah.

575
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:13,625
I've seen I've seen all the the sex

576
00:20:13,625 --> 00:20:14,984
toys that get laid on Yeah.

577
00:20:15,545 --> 00:20:16,904
Bathroom counters. I mean, it's

578
00:20:17,785 --> 00:20:18,444
you know,

579
00:20:20,265 --> 00:20:20,765
knowing

580
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:24,150
now at this point how,

581
00:20:26,769 --> 00:20:29,570
my depression plays into my libido We'll get

582
00:20:29,570 --> 00:20:31,110
to that in a second too. You

583
00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:35,570
know, I I have a better understanding of

584
00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:38,045
what's going on. Mhmm. Now

585
00:20:38,345 --> 00:20:40,924
the weird thing I I I it's

586
00:20:42,105 --> 00:20:43,945
I get a chuckle a little bit thinking

587
00:20:43,945 --> 00:20:45,998
about it because again, it's almost like a

588
00:20:46,265 --> 00:20:48,825
I I I notice I go in as

589
00:20:48,825 --> 00:20:51,259
far as my libido, I go in cycles.

590
00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,799
Oh my god. There's something flying by my

591
00:20:53,799 --> 00:20:55,100
face. Oh my god.

592
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,380
Excuse me. But,

593
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,559
but, yeah, it it it's like there are

594
00:21:03,559 --> 00:21:04,619
times I hit,

595
00:21:06,184 --> 00:21:08,184
like, a low, and I've had no interest

596
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:11,484
in sex whatsoever, you know. Right. Don't even

597
00:21:12,184 --> 00:21:14,025
and then then I hit the peak where

598
00:21:14,025 --> 00:21:14,765
I'm like,

599
00:21:15,144 --> 00:21:16,265
I'm ready to go. Let's,

600
00:21:18,105 --> 00:21:18,845
And thankfully,

601
00:21:19,144 --> 00:21:20,045
I'm at a point

602
00:21:21,019 --> 00:21:22,539
I am I too am ready to go

603
00:21:22,539 --> 00:21:24,460
when you are ready to go. Let us

604
00:21:24,460 --> 00:21:27,019
go together. Right. So this ties for me

605
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:29,740
back into aging, but this certainly comes from

606
00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:32,480
the low libido side. In the past

607
00:21:33,644 --> 00:21:35,025
nine months to a year,

608
00:21:35,724 --> 00:21:37,505
I have watched you more consistently

609
00:21:38,684 --> 00:21:39,184
use

610
00:21:39,644 --> 00:21:42,625
your solo toys. Mhmm. Like, you will be

611
00:21:43,005 --> 00:21:46,279
turning like the kinky businessman you are, And

612
00:21:46,279 --> 00:21:48,679
there will be some kinky fuckery going on

613
00:21:48,679 --> 00:21:51,000
in your damn pants. And you're just there

614
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,359
and nobody would know to look at you.

615
00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:53,880
But I know because I see what's left

616
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,700
on the bathroom counter. And I'm always like

617
00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,034
and I and I say this with actual

618
00:22:00,095 --> 00:22:03,214
love, joy, and nothing but positive feelings. You

619
00:22:03,214 --> 00:22:05,315
fucking pervert. I love you so much.

620
00:22:06,815 --> 00:22:07,634
And so,

621
00:22:08,095 --> 00:22:09,615
one, to me, that's sort of a sign

622
00:22:09,615 --> 00:22:11,855
of some kind of sexual arousal coming back.

623
00:22:11,855 --> 00:22:14,034
But it also feels like a way

624
00:22:14,549 --> 00:22:15,210
for you

625
00:22:16,070 --> 00:22:16,730
to experience

626
00:22:17,110 --> 00:22:18,090
sexual pleasure

627
00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:20,809
in ways that don't overtax your body

628
00:22:21,430 --> 00:22:23,430
when it can't always do what it wants

629
00:22:23,430 --> 00:22:25,529
to do, if that makes sense. Yes. Absolutely.

630
00:22:29,105 --> 00:22:31,285
Anything else you wanna add about your

631
00:22:32,865 --> 00:22:33,365
okay.

632
00:22:33,744 --> 00:22:34,884
So for me,

633
00:22:35,585 --> 00:22:37,184
I had hoped that once I went on

634
00:22:37,184 --> 00:22:39,744
HRT Mhmm. And also that some of the

635
00:22:39,744 --> 00:22:40,019
stress

636
00:22:40,580 --> 00:22:42,259
was alleviated because it was not just a

637
00:22:42,259 --> 00:22:44,900
OMM perimenopause and libido time. That did happen.

638
00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:46,660
But it was also, there is all this

639
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:49,140
overwhelming stress and I don't want to fuck

640
00:22:49,140 --> 00:22:50,680
when I'm this stressed out.

641
00:22:51,779 --> 00:22:53,720
I had hoped that my

642
00:22:56,095 --> 00:22:56,595
excitement

643
00:22:57,134 --> 00:22:59,855
and seeking out of sexual pleasure would come

644
00:22:59,855 --> 00:23:00,755
back. Mhmm.

645
00:23:02,095 --> 00:23:04,015
Not really. Not so much? A little bit.

646
00:23:04,015 --> 00:23:06,255
There's like Love it. Yeah. Popping full I'll

647
00:23:06,255 --> 00:23:08,255
be reading something real good, and I'm like,

648
00:23:08,255 --> 00:23:09,474
oh, this is

649
00:23:09,950 --> 00:23:12,269
this is doing something for me. But that

650
00:23:12,269 --> 00:23:14,109
only a couple times, yes, I have gone

651
00:23:14,109 --> 00:23:15,470
and gotten the vibrator because I was like,

652
00:23:15,470 --> 00:23:17,710
this is doing some some shit something to

653
00:23:17,710 --> 00:23:19,630
me and I need to do something to

654
00:23:19,630 --> 00:23:21,470
me. And you were off being, you know,

655
00:23:21,470 --> 00:23:22,849
working and being a businessman.

656
00:23:24,255 --> 00:23:26,414
And so there was nothing for I had

657
00:23:26,414 --> 00:23:27,955
to do it on my own.

658
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:32,255
But and so that does happen occasionally and

659
00:23:32,255 --> 00:23:34,015
I do take it as a good sign

660
00:23:34,015 --> 00:23:35,475
that that ability to

661
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:39,220
read a sexy thing that is well written

662
00:23:39,220 --> 00:23:41,539
and, like, realistic enough and, you know, I'm

663
00:23:41,539 --> 00:23:43,139
not going, oh my god. Is it a

664
00:23:43,139 --> 00:23:45,139
magic asshole that you don't need lube or

665
00:23:45,139 --> 00:23:47,700
training? Okay. Like, it's, like, good good. And

666
00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:49,960
I can I can immerse myself in it?

667
00:23:51,154 --> 00:23:52,674
I take it as a good sign that

668
00:23:52,674 --> 00:23:55,575
I periodically, every so often, have a,

669
00:23:56,595 --> 00:23:58,674
reaction to that that is Mhmm. You know,

670
00:23:58,674 --> 00:24:01,075
positive and sexual, and I'm I'm feeling I'm

671
00:24:01,075 --> 00:24:04,054
feeling good. We've also discovered that, you know,

672
00:24:04,274 --> 00:24:06,820
sometimes, not always, if you hand me an

673
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:07,320
edible

674
00:24:08,019 --> 00:24:09,619
and I get relaxed in just the right

675
00:24:09,619 --> 00:24:10,119
way,

676
00:24:10,820 --> 00:24:12,840
I am throwing myself at you.

677
00:24:13,940 --> 00:24:16,259
That's true. I coined the term kink horny

678
00:24:16,259 --> 00:24:18,019
because I don't I don't think I'd care

679
00:24:18,019 --> 00:24:19,634
if I got fucked. I'm more like, could

680
00:24:19,634 --> 00:24:21,555
you just do kinky things to me, please

681
00:24:21,555 --> 00:24:23,234
and thank you. And those things turn me

682
00:24:23,234 --> 00:24:24,454
on. So therefore,

683
00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:25,654
that would be enough.

684
00:24:27,075 --> 00:24:29,714
So but my drive for it, my my

685
00:24:29,714 --> 00:24:31,714
desire to seek it out, to seek out

686
00:24:31,714 --> 00:24:32,535
sexual pleasure,

687
00:24:33,474 --> 00:24:35,700
it's a blip. It's not it's not up

688
00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:36,900
real. It's not like it was when I

689
00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:38,279
first started sex blogging.

690
00:24:38,740 --> 00:24:40,500
I you know, it it it's not at

691
00:24:40,500 --> 00:24:41,559
that level anymore

692
00:24:41,940 --> 00:24:43,079
when I was in my thirties.

693
00:24:44,019 --> 00:24:46,099
But when you reach for me and you

694
00:24:46,099 --> 00:24:46,599
wanna

695
00:24:47,164 --> 00:24:47,825
you wanna

696
00:24:48,125 --> 00:24:49,644
I am 99%

697
00:24:49,644 --> 00:24:51,005
of the time. I'm down for it. I'm

698
00:24:51,005 --> 00:24:53,404
not I think once over the past like

699
00:24:53,404 --> 00:24:55,005
year, I've had a moment of oh god

700
00:24:55,005 --> 00:24:56,304
I kinda don't want to,

701
00:24:56,684 --> 00:24:57,964
but also if we don't do it now,

702
00:24:57,964 --> 00:24:59,005
I might not get to do it for

703
00:24:59,005 --> 00:25:01,859
another week or so and also he's touching

704
00:25:01,859 --> 00:25:03,059
me. And then you pull my hair and

705
00:25:03,059 --> 00:25:03,880
it doesn't matter.

706
00:25:04,180 --> 00:25:05,880
I'm lost. I'm gone.

707
00:25:06,660 --> 00:25:08,980
But prior to that, you know, before I

708
00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:11,299
went on HRT, when the stress was crazy,

709
00:25:11,299 --> 00:25:13,859
all that stuff Mhmm. There were many times

710
00:25:13,859 --> 00:25:14,680
I was like,

711
00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:17,595
I am I am not stopping this for

712
00:25:17,595 --> 00:25:19,275
him, and it's not really for me. Like,

713
00:25:19,275 --> 00:25:21,615
the the arousal and desire

714
00:25:21,914 --> 00:25:22,974
just was not there.

715
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,994
TMI again, if you were don't know about

716
00:25:25,994 --> 00:25:26,494
us

717
00:25:27,115 --> 00:25:28,494
sharing absolutely everything.

718
00:25:30,269 --> 00:25:32,430
I guess the hormones and the the decreased

719
00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:35,150
stress are doing something because you didn't have

720
00:25:35,150 --> 00:25:37,789
to use lube. No. I didn't. Fuck. Like,

721
00:25:37,789 --> 00:25:40,450
vaginal dryness, that's a a typically a perimenopause

722
00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:42,450
thing. But also

723
00:25:43,404 --> 00:25:45,244
just to get aroused enough for the body

724
00:25:45,244 --> 00:25:47,664
to go, sure, we'll warm up like that

725
00:25:47,805 --> 00:25:48,684
'94

726
00:25:48,684 --> 00:25:49,984
Mercury Grand Marquis

727
00:25:50,285 --> 00:25:52,444
you got in the backyard. Sure. We could

728
00:25:52,444 --> 00:25:52,924
we could still

729
00:25:53,644 --> 00:25:55,404
that's also an aging thing to go with

730
00:25:55,404 --> 00:25:57,529
it. But, like, that

731
00:25:57,910 --> 00:26:00,470
has that occurs more often than it used

732
00:26:00,470 --> 00:26:03,670
to. Yeah. And so I'm not, like, humping

733
00:26:03,670 --> 00:26:05,190
your leg. I guess I could if I

734
00:26:05,190 --> 00:26:06,549
really wanted to. I'm not humping your leg.

735
00:26:06,549 --> 00:26:08,330
I'm not going, daddy, please come fuck me.

736
00:26:08,549 --> 00:26:10,924
But I am open to it now in

737
00:26:10,924 --> 00:26:12,144
ways I was not

738
00:26:12,525 --> 00:26:14,605
even in 2021.

739
00:26:14,605 --> 00:26:17,404
That's very true. Yeah. Yeah. So that that's

740
00:26:17,404 --> 00:26:18,545
a nice little update.

741
00:26:19,484 --> 00:26:20,945
I do I do credit,

742
00:26:21,725 --> 00:26:22,225
HRT

743
00:26:22,684 --> 00:26:23,505
for that.

744
00:26:25,769 --> 00:26:27,630
When I started, I I have a

745
00:26:28,409 --> 00:26:29,630
a vaginal testosterone

746
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,929
cream. We call it taking the plunge. I

747
00:26:31,929 --> 00:26:33,609
have to take it twice a week, and

748
00:26:33,609 --> 00:26:37,065
it's this, like, injector plastic injector thing. It's

749
00:26:37,065 --> 00:26:39,565
awkward. I also call it spicy yogurt.

750
00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:40,684
Sometimes

751
00:26:41,464 --> 00:26:42,105
it's just

752
00:26:42,505 --> 00:26:44,365
it's a little spicy when it goes in.

753
00:26:44,424 --> 00:26:44,924
Anyway,

754
00:26:46,024 --> 00:26:47,304
when I first started taking it, I didn't

755
00:26:47,304 --> 00:26:48,682
get to take it consistently because there were

756
00:26:48,682 --> 00:26:49,980
issues issues with prescriptions, and there was just

757
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:52,460
bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. And now that I've been

758
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:53,920
on it consistently

759
00:26:55,099 --> 00:26:57,340
and it got tweaked the prescription got tweaked

760
00:26:57,340 --> 00:26:59,119
a little bit, now I feel like I'm

761
00:26:59,180 --> 00:27:01,980
reaping those benefits. Right? Right. And so the

762
00:27:01,980 --> 00:27:04,080
sexual desire being one of them.

763
00:27:04,694 --> 00:27:06,214
It just I kind of wish it would

764
00:27:06,214 --> 00:27:07,654
come back to where it was when I

765
00:27:07,654 --> 00:27:09,835
was in my mid thirties, and I was

766
00:27:10,294 --> 00:27:11,815
I was just flashing my tits on the

767
00:27:11,815 --> 00:27:13,734
Internet and talking about my sex life because

768
00:27:13,734 --> 00:27:16,375
that was, like, on my fucking mind. Mhmm.

769
00:27:16,375 --> 00:27:18,960
It is not now granted, in our non

770
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,519
kink, non business, non professional life, there's a

771
00:27:21,519 --> 00:27:23,759
lot of shit going on, and your brain

772
00:27:23,759 --> 00:27:27,039
only has room for someone. Yeah. Yeah. So

773
00:27:27,039 --> 00:27:28,179
I've had to, like,

774
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,880
shove furniture in my brain aside to make

775
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,714
room for the things I am, like, I

776
00:27:32,714 --> 00:27:35,134
have to focus on. That is non optional.

777
00:27:35,434 --> 00:27:36,335
And I guess

778
00:27:37,035 --> 00:27:39,035
the excitement about sex was one of the

779
00:27:39,035 --> 00:27:41,914
boxes that moved into the attic or something.

780
00:27:41,914 --> 00:27:42,734
I don't know.

781
00:27:43,434 --> 00:27:45,115
But at least I want sex when it

782
00:27:45,115 --> 00:27:47,275
presents itself. And I'll take that. That's an

783
00:27:47,275 --> 00:27:49,390
improvement. That's a legit improvement.

784
00:27:50,089 --> 00:27:50,589
Okay.

785
00:27:51,049 --> 00:27:51,549
So,

786
00:27:52,730 --> 00:27:53,950
I cannot

787
00:27:59,690 --> 00:28:01,130
I don't know. I I knew we were

788
00:28:01,130 --> 00:28:02,509
gonna do d s and depression.

789
00:28:03,075 --> 00:28:04,914
As one of our updates. Yeah. I have

790
00:28:04,914 --> 00:28:06,835
it linked on my notes that we're using

791
00:28:06,835 --> 00:28:08,994
here. Mhmm. Did I actually put it in

792
00:28:08,994 --> 00:28:11,315
the fucking outline? No. So but we are.

793
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:12,755
I added it. That's what that was me

794
00:28:12,755 --> 00:28:14,214
typing if you heard me tapping.

795
00:28:15,075 --> 00:28:16,934
The episode on d s and depression,

796
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,480
is one of our more recent ones. It's

797
00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,119
episode three forty five, I think. Mhmm. Yeah.

798
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:23,500
From 2023.

799
00:28:24,279 --> 00:28:26,599
So very recent. We're only in 2025. Yeah.

800
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:28,779
And this really is more about

801
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:30,680
you Mhmm. And your

802
00:28:31,244 --> 00:28:33,005
is there anything you would like to say

803
00:28:33,005 --> 00:28:35,164
about where you're at right now with regards

804
00:28:35,164 --> 00:28:37,484
to that? I'm I'm definitely doing better Mhmm.

805
00:28:37,724 --> 00:28:39,984
Than where I was a year

806
00:28:40,365 --> 00:28:41,984
or more ago. Mhmm.

807
00:28:44,059 --> 00:28:46,880
I'm not quite where I want to be.

808
00:28:46,940 --> 00:28:47,440
Sure.

809
00:28:48,220 --> 00:28:50,220
And we've talked about what it will take

810
00:28:50,220 --> 00:28:52,460
to Mhmm. Help you get there. And,

811
00:28:53,339 --> 00:28:54,240
but, you know,

812
00:28:54,940 --> 00:28:55,440
being

813
00:28:56,140 --> 00:28:57,200
aware of it

814
00:28:58,345 --> 00:28:59,944
just just being aware of it is a

815
00:28:59,944 --> 00:29:01,544
help. Yes. Because at least you know what's

816
00:29:01,544 --> 00:29:02,904
happening to you. And you're not like, oh

817
00:29:02,904 --> 00:29:05,325
my god. Am I am I going crazy?

818
00:29:05,464 --> 00:29:07,884
And, I'm I'm at a point sometimes

819
00:29:08,345 --> 00:29:10,825
because my depression comes with a lot of

820
00:29:10,825 --> 00:29:11,565
bad talk.

821
00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:14,349
Like self talking? Yeah. Yeah.

822
00:29:14,650 --> 00:29:17,529
And and I've learned when that starts happening,

823
00:29:17,529 --> 00:29:19,950
I'm like, okay. Where is this coming from?

824
00:29:20,089 --> 00:29:20,589
Mhmm.

825
00:29:21,049 --> 00:29:23,690
You know? And not every time, but sometimes

826
00:29:23,690 --> 00:29:24,750
I can kind of

827
00:29:26,115 --> 00:29:27,174
hold it off.

828
00:29:27,475 --> 00:29:27,975
Right.

829
00:29:28,914 --> 00:29:30,455
I am more aware

830
00:29:31,234 --> 00:29:33,154
I'm always since we've met, I've been aware

831
00:29:33,154 --> 00:29:34,615
of your mood. Thanks, hypervigilance.

832
00:29:35,795 --> 00:29:37,315
Living together with a song, being together with

833
00:29:37,315 --> 00:29:38,595
a song, I'm very aware of your moods.

834
00:29:38,595 --> 00:29:41,119
Yeah. I feel like I now just have

835
00:29:41,119 --> 00:29:43,140
enough experience with you being able to label

836
00:29:43,679 --> 00:29:45,359
this is depression, this is this, this is

837
00:29:45,359 --> 00:29:45,859
that.

838
00:29:46,319 --> 00:29:48,899
I can now kind of clock when

839
00:29:50,799 --> 00:29:52,899
you are in one of those lows

840
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,454
and depression's kicking your ass because everything around

841
00:29:56,454 --> 00:29:59,015
you externally, like, my vibe from you, you're

842
00:29:59,015 --> 00:30:01,335
very heavy. It's all very heavy. Mhmm. And

843
00:30:01,335 --> 00:30:04,054
there there is no sunshine, and I should

844
00:30:04,054 --> 00:30:05,595
not try to make a joke.

845
00:30:06,375 --> 00:30:08,855
But so you know what? I don't make

846
00:30:08,855 --> 00:30:09,355
jokes,

847
00:30:09,734 --> 00:30:11,890
but I I do continue to be who

848
00:30:11,890 --> 00:30:13,509
the fuck I am. And then I get

849
00:30:13,650 --> 00:30:16,049
I get grudging chuckles. And look, that's a

850
00:30:16,049 --> 00:30:18,049
win's a win. Okay? I'll take I'll take

851
00:30:18,049 --> 00:30:18,710
a grudging

852
00:30:19,570 --> 00:30:20,950
chuckle any day because if

853
00:30:21,330 --> 00:30:23,009
I can't I can't make your depression go

854
00:30:23,009 --> 00:30:24,184
away. I can't fix it for you. But

855
00:30:24,184 --> 00:30:26,184
if I can get you to chuckle Mhmm.

856
00:30:26,345 --> 00:30:28,424
Even if it's a snark and it's something

857
00:30:28,424 --> 00:30:30,505
like, I I should not be saying that.

858
00:30:30,505 --> 00:30:32,664
I should that that this is not a

859
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:34,045
kind moment for me.

860
00:30:34,505 --> 00:30:36,025
It's like I can get you to remember

861
00:30:36,025 --> 00:30:37,005
that, oh, yeah.

862
00:30:37,700 --> 00:30:39,539
I can find things funny. I can feel

863
00:30:39,539 --> 00:30:41,539
a little lighter. Doesn't fix anything in the

864
00:30:41,539 --> 00:30:43,059
moment, but it's a little bit in that

865
00:30:43,059 --> 00:30:46,019
moment when you're like You kinda cut puts

866
00:30:46,019 --> 00:30:47,539
a crack in the wall. Yeah. And you're

867
00:30:47,539 --> 00:30:49,299
a little bit more you in that moment,

868
00:30:49,299 --> 00:30:50,900
and you can I can kinda bring that

869
00:30:50,900 --> 00:30:52,105
forward and you know

870
00:30:53,144 --> 00:30:54,264
Yeah? And I don't know how much it

871
00:30:54,264 --> 00:30:56,684
actually helps, but it's from outside

872
00:30:56,984 --> 00:30:57,484
observing.

873
00:30:57,865 --> 00:30:58,524
You know?

874
00:30:58,825 --> 00:31:00,924
I I feel what it feels like now

875
00:31:01,144 --> 00:31:02,044
in your vibe.

876
00:31:03,144 --> 00:31:04,444
I do like that you're

877
00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:07,549
really open to just talking about it, not

878
00:31:07,549 --> 00:31:09,309
just here on the podcast. But between the

879
00:31:09,309 --> 00:31:11,089
two of us, you'll go, yeah. Yeah.

880
00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:13,630
Depression's kicking my fucking ass. And we've we've

881
00:31:13,630 --> 00:31:15,009
talked about the things

882
00:31:15,549 --> 00:31:17,970
that JB needs to help him.

883
00:31:18,535 --> 00:31:19,035
And

884
00:31:19,654 --> 00:31:20,954
when we have the resources,

885
00:31:21,335 --> 00:31:23,275
we are going to do those things. Yeah.

886
00:31:24,214 --> 00:31:26,375
Because that all goes back into everything goes

887
00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:27,894
back into our professional life. It goes back

888
00:31:27,894 --> 00:31:29,414
into our personal life. It goes back into

889
00:31:29,414 --> 00:31:31,890
the goals you set for yourself. Like Right.

890
00:31:31,970 --> 00:31:33,570
You know, depression makes all of that so

891
00:31:33,570 --> 00:31:35,509
much harder. Yes. So

892
00:31:36,210 --> 00:31:38,789
but I I know you've you've said it

893
00:31:38,849 --> 00:31:40,210
on the podcast before, so I don't feel

894
00:31:40,210 --> 00:31:42,450
like I'm talking out of turn. But you,

895
00:31:42,450 --> 00:31:44,450
you know, I know you also had said

896
00:31:44,450 --> 00:31:44,865
that

897
00:31:45,345 --> 00:31:47,505
at one point you realized, oh wait, I've

898
00:31:47,505 --> 00:31:49,265
had depression my whole life and I just

899
00:31:49,265 --> 00:31:51,845
didn't know Yeah. That's what this was. Yeah.

900
00:31:52,304 --> 00:31:53,924
What what was that

901
00:31:54,464 --> 00:31:56,545
not what was it about. Like, what was

902
00:31:56,545 --> 00:31:58,769
the revelation like to go holy shit, this

903
00:31:58,849 --> 00:32:00,529
is this? This is And and that's kinda

904
00:32:00,529 --> 00:32:02,150
what it was. It was I was like,

905
00:32:02,849 --> 00:32:03,349
oh,

906
00:32:04,450 --> 00:32:04,950
fuck.

907
00:32:05,809 --> 00:32:07,970
You know, the you know, I because it

908
00:32:10,849 --> 00:32:12,994
it's you know, I I did not

909
00:32:13,615 --> 00:32:15,235
at at that time, my

910
00:32:15,615 --> 00:32:17,134
maybe you did not call it. Yeah. I'm

911
00:32:17,134 --> 00:32:18,815
I'm just feeling a little off today, just

912
00:32:18,815 --> 00:32:21,455
feeling a little low. Mhmm. You know? Mhmm.

913
00:32:21,455 --> 00:32:23,375
Yeah. The blues came to visit. You know?

914
00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:24,674
Mhmm. I mean,

915
00:32:25,220 --> 00:32:27,220
by virtue of your age alone, when you

916
00:32:27,220 --> 00:32:29,460
were coming up in your young certainly your

917
00:32:29,460 --> 00:32:31,299
young life and then even your twenties and

918
00:32:31,299 --> 00:32:33,619
into your thirties, that was not exactly something

919
00:32:33,619 --> 00:32:35,559
that was being talked about either.

920
00:32:36,019 --> 00:32:38,180
Like, certain circles might have been talking about,

921
00:32:38,180 --> 00:32:40,599
but not broadly speaking. You were not gonna,

922
00:32:40,714 --> 00:32:43,214
Yeah. You know? No. But, you know, yeah.

923
00:32:43,755 --> 00:32:45,994
And but, yeah, it was kind of a

924
00:32:45,994 --> 00:32:47,515
little bit of an eye opener. It's like

925
00:32:47,755 --> 00:32:49,434
Mhmm. Oh, this has been going on a

926
00:32:49,434 --> 00:32:52,394
long time. Mhmm. Just there were all these

927
00:32:52,394 --> 00:32:52,894
catalysts

928
00:32:53,355 --> 00:32:53,755
Mhmm.

929
00:32:54,154 --> 00:32:54,954
That just

930
00:32:55,674 --> 00:32:57,450
Sure. Pushed it into hyperdrive.

931
00:32:58,470 --> 00:32:59,450
Did it feel

932
00:33:02,070 --> 00:33:03,509
I the only word I can come up

933
00:33:03,509 --> 00:33:04,950
with, and I this is probably not a

934
00:33:04,950 --> 00:33:06,630
good word, so correct me. Mhmm. Was there

935
00:33:06,630 --> 00:33:08,730
any sort of comfort in kind of going,

936
00:33:08,870 --> 00:33:11,289
oh, this is who I've been? This is

937
00:33:11,350 --> 00:33:13,724
why? This is like A little bit. Yes.

938
00:33:13,724 --> 00:33:15,805
Mhmm. Yeah. Were there any other feelings that

939
00:33:15,805 --> 00:33:16,785
came up for you?

940
00:33:17,164 --> 00:33:17,904
Not really.

941
00:33:18,285 --> 00:33:19,484
Just, you know, the,

942
00:33:20,525 --> 00:33:22,845
the realization of what it what we had

943
00:33:22,845 --> 00:33:24,924
been going on all this time, what what

944
00:33:24,924 --> 00:33:25,585
it was.

945
00:33:27,109 --> 00:33:28,549
Now now that you're more aware of your

946
00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:30,549
depression, you you understand what's happening to you

947
00:33:30,549 --> 00:33:32,009
when it happens when it happens.

948
00:33:32,950 --> 00:33:36,009
How is that tying into your role

949
00:33:36,390 --> 00:33:37,690
as dominant and

950
00:33:38,495 --> 00:33:40,894
kink and sex and fury and all of

951
00:33:40,975 --> 00:33:42,815
like, where where is that fitting for you

952
00:33:42,815 --> 00:33:45,795
these days? And, see, that ties back in

953
00:33:46,095 --> 00:33:47,875
for me with the

954
00:33:48,255 --> 00:33:49,955
obedience app. Mhmm.

955
00:33:50,575 --> 00:33:51,075
Okay?

956
00:33:55,279 --> 00:33:56,259
Because it it

957
00:33:57,039 --> 00:33:58,559
it allows me to put things in place

958
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,019
Mhmm. Okay? And I can monitor it,

959
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:02,900
but

960
00:34:06,984 --> 00:34:07,724
it doesn't

961
00:34:08,184 --> 00:34:09,784
if if I am in one of those

962
00:34:09,784 --> 00:34:12,364
lows Mhmm. Okay, I can just, you know,

963
00:34:12,664 --> 00:34:14,505
kinda look and yeah. Okay. She she did

964
00:34:14,505 --> 00:34:16,105
what she needed to do and Margaret's, you

965
00:34:16,105 --> 00:34:18,284
know, we're all good. Mhmm. And

966
00:34:18,585 --> 00:34:20,764
the other times when I'm

967
00:34:21,144 --> 00:34:23,869
more up, that's when that's when you'll, hear

968
00:34:23,869 --> 00:34:24,610
me say,

969
00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:27,170
good girl and, you know, good job.

970
00:34:28,030 --> 00:34:29,170
You know what? I

971
00:34:29,470 --> 00:34:31,150
I don't like the reason you don't feel

972
00:34:31,150 --> 00:34:33,885
like you're you can do that. Mhmm. But

973
00:34:33,965 --> 00:34:35,565
it actually works out if this helps at

974
00:34:35,565 --> 00:34:37,505
all. Because if you are constantly

975
00:34:37,885 --> 00:34:39,105
every single time

976
00:34:39,644 --> 00:34:42,204
saying something, acknowledging it, eventually, I would start

977
00:34:42,204 --> 00:34:43,565
to tune that out because that's just, you

978
00:34:43,565 --> 00:34:46,204
know, human nature, the the frequency of it.

979
00:34:46,204 --> 00:34:47,804
So the fact that I don't like why

980
00:34:47,804 --> 00:34:49,724
it has to be sporadic, but that it

981
00:34:49,724 --> 00:34:51,849
is is sporadic, that is that is actually

982
00:34:52,230 --> 00:34:54,309
not a bad thing. And what I believe

983
00:34:54,309 --> 00:34:56,489
it or not, what I actually took from

984
00:34:57,269 --> 00:34:59,910
the Obedience app, because there are certain things

985
00:34:59,910 --> 00:35:01,989
that that I have been doing lately that

986
00:35:01,989 --> 00:35:03,530
I need reminders for.

987
00:35:03,910 --> 00:35:04,969
Mhmm. And

988
00:35:05,304 --> 00:35:06,284
I set myself

989
00:35:07,545 --> 00:35:09,164
now reminders through the phone.

990
00:35:09,625 --> 00:35:11,224
And you use them. And I use them

991
00:35:11,224 --> 00:35:13,304
and it has been amazing. It has been

992
00:35:13,304 --> 00:35:15,385
an amazing because reminders don't work if you

993
00:35:15,385 --> 00:35:16,905
don't use them. I've learned that the hard

994
00:35:16,905 --> 00:35:17,804
way. Yeah. Yeah.

995
00:35:18,905 --> 00:35:21,210
Now, just to tie things back in, do

996
00:35:21,210 --> 00:35:22,070
you feel like

997
00:35:22,769 --> 00:35:24,470
the utilization of reminders,

998
00:35:25,170 --> 00:35:25,829
is that

999
00:35:26,690 --> 00:35:28,950
sort of part of one of your your,

1000
00:35:30,369 --> 00:35:33,010
ways of of modifying things and making things

1001
00:35:33,010 --> 00:35:34,505
work work as you age? Or is it

1002
00:35:34,505 --> 00:35:36,025
just a, oh, look. We got technology, and

1003
00:35:36,025 --> 00:35:37,945
I'll just use it? It It's a just

1004
00:35:37,945 --> 00:35:40,184
a busy ness thing? It's a combination of

1005
00:35:40,184 --> 00:35:41,164
both. Gotcha.

1006
00:35:42,105 --> 00:35:45,144
Combination of both. Yeah. I had to start

1007
00:35:45,385 --> 00:35:47,465
I can't rely on too many reminders because

1008
00:35:47,465 --> 00:35:48,364
then I will

1009
00:35:49,039 --> 00:35:51,139
tune them out eventually. But on the extremely

1010
00:35:51,359 --> 00:35:54,500
important things that I cannot let myself forget,

1011
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,000
including obedience app stuff Mhmm. I have reminders

1012
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,159
or notifications, and I turn all that off

1013
00:36:00,159 --> 00:36:02,605
for everything else. So when it comes up,

1014
00:36:02,605 --> 00:36:04,525
I know my brain goes, it's an important

1015
00:36:04,525 --> 00:36:05,025
thing.

1016
00:36:05,325 --> 00:36:06,785
Mhmm. Pay attention to that.

1017
00:36:07,085 --> 00:36:08,385
Anything else you would

1018
00:36:09,805 --> 00:36:12,224
Nope. Okay. So this next one,

1019
00:36:13,940 --> 00:36:15,300
I think I didn't know how the fuck

1020
00:36:15,300 --> 00:36:16,280
to title it.

1021
00:36:17,460 --> 00:36:19,140
And I still don't know if there's another

1022
00:36:19,140 --> 00:36:21,780
way of saying this. But back in 2021,

1023
00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:23,720
episode two sixty nine, nice,

1024
00:36:24,180 --> 00:36:26,795
we did an episode called acts of service

1025
00:36:26,855 --> 00:36:28,954
for each other or about acts of service.

1026
00:36:29,014 --> 00:36:30,954
Things we did for one another,

1027
00:36:32,214 --> 00:36:35,494
not because we were required to, not because

1028
00:36:35,494 --> 00:36:37,335
we negotiated this is who you are in

1029
00:36:37,335 --> 00:36:40,054
your role, but just things we did for

1030
00:36:40,054 --> 00:36:43,019
each other as we saw ways that we

1031
00:36:43,019 --> 00:36:43,519
could

1032
00:36:44,140 --> 00:36:47,260
help each other, you know, support each other,

1033
00:36:47,260 --> 00:36:48,880
whatever whatever. Right.

1034
00:36:49,340 --> 00:36:51,099
Can you think of I don't know I

1035
00:36:51,099 --> 00:36:52,619
don't know how different these will be from

1036
00:36:52,619 --> 00:36:54,539
2021. Mhmm. But we're gonna talk about what

1037
00:36:54,539 --> 00:36:56,744
we do now. Can you think of anything?

1038
00:36:59,445 --> 00:37:01,385
I I can't I actually, I can't.

1039
00:37:02,005 --> 00:37:03,605
Last week, I had several. I should have

1040
00:37:03,605 --> 00:37:05,525
written them down. Yeah. They're out of my

1041
00:37:05,525 --> 00:37:07,204
brain now. See? I can think of a

1042
00:37:07,204 --> 00:37:08,484
couple of things. I mean, the the main

1043
00:37:08,484 --> 00:37:10,150
thing I I think, but it's it's something

1044
00:37:10,150 --> 00:37:12,389
that pretty much have done all along. Mhmm.

1045
00:37:12,389 --> 00:37:13,750
You know, a lot of times when I

1046
00:37:13,750 --> 00:37:15,110
am out and about, I will bring you

1047
00:37:15,110 --> 00:37:17,769
home a treat. I know. Less so than

1048
00:37:17,829 --> 00:37:19,150
used to be, but part of that is

1049
00:37:19,269 --> 00:37:20,949
Yeah. We don't go out that often. Right.

1050
00:37:20,949 --> 00:37:22,570
And we spent several years

1051
00:37:22,869 --> 00:37:24,574
not spending extra money if we could help

1052
00:37:24,574 --> 00:37:26,894
it. So it's not a thing we do

1053
00:37:26,894 --> 00:37:28,194
automatically. Exactly.

1054
00:37:28,494 --> 00:37:30,255
And also you know that if I am

1055
00:37:30,255 --> 00:37:32,094
leaving this house and getting in the car,

1056
00:37:32,094 --> 00:37:33,855
I'm I'm coming home with,

1057
00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:36,114
something, a Diet Coke or something.

1058
00:37:36,654 --> 00:37:38,619
It's okay. The only way you can make

1059
00:37:38,619 --> 00:37:40,059
sure I'm not doing that is if I

1060
00:37:40,059 --> 00:37:42,380
leave the house with my water bottle and

1061
00:37:42,380 --> 00:37:44,079
I take my drink with me.

1062
00:37:47,739 --> 00:37:49,019
So I know some things I do for

1063
00:37:49,019 --> 00:37:50,460
you because I do them for you, but

1064
00:37:50,460 --> 00:37:52,880
also you do them in reverse for me

1065
00:37:53,214 --> 00:37:53,714
sometimes.

1066
00:37:54,335 --> 00:37:54,835
So,

1067
00:37:55,454 --> 00:37:57,135
when I can tell that you're super crazy

1068
00:37:57,135 --> 00:37:57,635
busy,

1069
00:37:58,574 --> 00:38:00,335
I will finish folding the part of the

1070
00:38:00,335 --> 00:38:00,835
laundry

1071
00:38:01,135 --> 00:38:01,635
that

1072
00:38:02,094 --> 00:38:03,855
you will get to, and I know you'll

1073
00:38:03,855 --> 00:38:05,550
get to. But I'm like, I'm here. I,

1074
00:38:05,550 --> 00:38:06,289
like, finally,

1075
00:38:06,989 --> 00:38:09,150
like, sucked it up enough to fold my

1076
00:38:09,150 --> 00:38:10,670
part of the laundry. I'll just do all

1077
00:38:10,670 --> 00:38:12,610
the rest. It's fine. It's no big deal.

1078
00:38:12,829 --> 00:38:14,430
And you're always very appreciative of it. So

1079
00:38:14,430 --> 00:38:17,949
that's Mhmm. Something that we we say that

1080
00:38:17,949 --> 00:38:19,710
we do to make our lives easier, but

1081
00:38:19,710 --> 00:38:20,449
I notice

1082
00:38:21,425 --> 00:38:22,244
that we

1083
00:38:22,864 --> 00:38:24,784
do it more when we know the other

1084
00:38:24,784 --> 00:38:26,485
person is responsible for it. So

1085
00:38:26,864 --> 00:38:28,704
JB is kind of a little bit in

1086
00:38:28,704 --> 00:38:31,824
charge of how the kitchen operates. Okay. Like

1087
00:38:31,824 --> 00:38:33,824
I'm in there cooking almost every night and

1088
00:38:33,824 --> 00:38:35,425
I'll do dishes and like I'll do stuff

1089
00:38:35,425 --> 00:38:36,890
in there. But when it comes to, like,

1090
00:38:36,890 --> 00:38:39,289
layout and what needs to happen when and

1091
00:38:39,289 --> 00:38:42,010
where things are stored, that's JB's domain. And

1092
00:38:42,010 --> 00:38:43,769
I just go, okay, daddy, and we move

1093
00:38:43,769 --> 00:38:44,269
on.

1094
00:38:45,289 --> 00:38:46,590
So we were finding

1095
00:38:48,554 --> 00:38:49,054
that

1096
00:38:49,675 --> 00:38:51,355
dishes were kinda just piling up to the

1097
00:38:51,355 --> 00:38:53,135
day because we have a good system on

1098
00:38:53,195 --> 00:38:54,875
when we do dishes and when dishes get

1099
00:38:54,875 --> 00:38:56,554
put away and how that happens, and it

1100
00:38:56,554 --> 00:38:58,795
it typically works. But we were kinda finding

1101
00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:00,394
that dishes were sort of piling up through

1102
00:39:00,394 --> 00:39:02,369
the day after the clean ones were put

1103
00:39:02,369 --> 00:39:04,529
away. And you couldn't navigate the sink, and

1104
00:39:04,529 --> 00:39:06,369
you we've got plenty of counter space, but

1105
00:39:06,369 --> 00:39:07,889
it does not feel like it wants something

1106
00:39:07,889 --> 00:39:10,289
piled on it. And so he instituted this

1107
00:39:10,289 --> 00:39:11,509
thing of, okay, let's,

1108
00:39:12,049 --> 00:39:12,710
you know,

1109
00:39:13,489 --> 00:39:15,250
load the dishwasher through the day as we

1110
00:39:15,250 --> 00:39:17,925
go. Instead of throwing your plate in the

1111
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:21,125
sink Mhmm. Drop it in the in the

1112
00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:22,184
dishwasher. Exactly.

1113
00:39:22,485 --> 00:39:24,244
Okay. What I know that I do, and

1114
00:39:24,244 --> 00:39:27,045
I have watched JB do, if we know

1115
00:39:27,045 --> 00:39:29,525
it's the other one's night to wash dishes,

1116
00:39:29,525 --> 00:39:30,565
how do you know it's your night to

1117
00:39:30,565 --> 00:39:32,489
wash dishes If you didn't cook. If you

1118
00:39:32,489 --> 00:39:33,789
cook, you don't do dishes.

1119
00:39:34,329 --> 00:39:36,329
If you, you know, don't cook, you do

1120
00:39:36,329 --> 00:39:39,390
dishes. Yeah. So when I know it's JB's

1121
00:39:39,610 --> 00:39:41,690
night to do dishes and I've got five

1122
00:39:41,690 --> 00:39:43,690
free minutes, I'm gonna go ahead and and

1123
00:39:43,690 --> 00:39:44,925
get a lot of the big stuff done.

1124
00:39:44,925 --> 00:39:46,765
I'm gonna get that part done for him.

1125
00:39:46,765 --> 00:39:49,324
I'm gonna do the hand washables. Not always,

1126
00:39:49,324 --> 00:39:51,085
but sometimes. He does the same thing for

1127
00:39:51,085 --> 00:39:53,085
me. If he knows he's cooking now you

1128
00:39:53,085 --> 00:39:54,605
know, at first I was like, oh, we're

1129
00:39:54,605 --> 00:39:56,204
just making room for ourselves. And then I

1130
00:39:56,204 --> 00:39:56,704
realized,

1131
00:39:57,244 --> 00:39:59,244
no. On nights when we know we're not

1132
00:39:59,244 --> 00:40:02,519
gonna cook or we're eating leftovers or anything

1133
00:40:02,579 --> 00:40:03,079
where

1134
00:40:03,699 --> 00:40:05,880
there's no like direct trade off,

1135
00:40:06,179 --> 00:40:08,260
it's a we each are doing it and

1136
00:40:08,260 --> 00:40:10,099
nobody's like putting in this extra effort. We're

1137
00:40:10,099 --> 00:40:11,699
doing like minimal, like just to keep the

1138
00:40:11,699 --> 00:40:12,675
sink kinda clear.

1139
00:40:13,235 --> 00:40:14,914
But, like, if it's my night to wash

1140
00:40:14,914 --> 00:40:16,594
dishes, I'm gonna walk in and I might

1141
00:40:16,594 --> 00:40:18,515
have four dishes to wash. And I'm like,

1142
00:40:18,515 --> 00:40:21,074
but wait. It was my night to do

1143
00:40:21,074 --> 00:40:21,574
dishes.

1144
00:40:22,035 --> 00:40:23,394
And he's like, I'm just trying to help

1145
00:40:23,394 --> 00:40:25,394
you out. Make it easier on you. I

1146
00:40:25,394 --> 00:40:27,074
mean, you know, some some of those things

1147
00:40:27,074 --> 00:40:27,894
that I I

1148
00:40:28,349 --> 00:40:30,269
did, you know, to institute in the kitchen.

1149
00:40:30,269 --> 00:40:32,430
I I really I do the lion's share

1150
00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:35,390
of the dishes. Yes. You know, and, Because

1151
00:40:35,390 --> 00:40:36,930
I do the lion's share of the cooking.

1152
00:40:36,989 --> 00:40:39,250
Right. But, you know, and it just seemed

1153
00:40:40,684 --> 00:40:41,824
just like, you know,

1154
00:40:42,684 --> 00:40:43,585
cut out a

1155
00:40:44,925 --> 00:40:46,764
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was there

1156
00:40:46,925 --> 00:40:48,684
you were doing it for efficiency. You were

1157
00:40:48,684 --> 00:40:51,164
doing it to make life easier, but it's

1158
00:40:51,164 --> 00:40:54,125
those oh, is Lola bringing up I don't

1159
00:40:54,125 --> 00:40:56,360
know. Something juicy. Oh, god, y'all.

1160
00:40:57,860 --> 00:40:59,380
She usually goes straight to the door when

1161
00:40:59,380 --> 00:41:01,539
she knows something's gonna to be alright, but,

1162
00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:03,400
She's got an old lady cough.

1163
00:41:04,180 --> 00:41:04,579
Well

1164
00:41:04,980 --> 00:41:07,300
So now my point is, yes, you set

1165
00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:09,700
it all up for efficiency's sake, but the

1166
00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:11,614
way it plays out so now I'm wondering

1167
00:41:11,614 --> 00:41:13,315
if you even realize you're doing it

1168
00:41:13,695 --> 00:41:14,195
because

1169
00:41:14,734 --> 00:41:15,534
I absolutely

1170
00:41:16,014 --> 00:41:17,454
I know when I'm doing it because as

1171
00:41:17,454 --> 00:41:19,375
a service hub, I'm aware of the service.

1172
00:41:19,375 --> 00:41:21,295
I'm I it's a conscious thing I'm thinking

1173
00:41:21,295 --> 00:41:23,054
about. But you must not be aware that

1174
00:41:23,054 --> 00:41:25,210
you're doing it. On the nights when I'm

1175
00:41:25,210 --> 00:41:27,710
definitely gonna be the one washing dishes Mhmm.

1176
00:41:28,489 --> 00:41:29,450
95%

1177
00:41:29,450 --> 00:41:31,309
of it's done. I'll have, like, two pots.

1178
00:41:32,010 --> 00:41:34,329
And even even after you eat dinner, you'll

1179
00:41:34,329 --> 00:41:36,650
just put your Plate in the dew. Yeah.

1180
00:41:36,650 --> 00:41:38,090
You make it so I have almost no

1181
00:41:38,090 --> 00:41:39,735
dishes to wash is my point.

1182
00:41:40,375 --> 00:41:42,695
That's that is the point. That is the

1183
00:41:42,695 --> 00:41:44,775
point. I mean, why do the dishes have

1184
00:41:44,775 --> 00:41:46,855
to sit in the sink after you eat

1185
00:41:46,855 --> 00:41:49,275
lunch? There's a nuance I think you're missing.

1186
00:41:49,335 --> 00:41:50,855
I'm not explaining it very well. We don't

1187
00:41:50,855 --> 00:41:52,855
we don't wash it. They just get a

1188
00:41:52,855 --> 00:41:54,980
quick rinse and put in the so, you

1189
00:41:54,980 --> 00:41:56,000
know. And yet,

1190
00:41:56,699 --> 00:41:58,860
on the the days where it doesn't matter,

1191
00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:00,619
it's a catch as catch can, there's no

1192
00:42:00,619 --> 00:42:03,660
delineation of who's definitely doing dishes and who's

1193
00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:06,219
not. We're eating out that night. We're running

1194
00:42:06,219 --> 00:42:07,440
air something weird.

1195
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:09,914
You do not go to the extra effort.

1196
00:42:10,155 --> 00:42:12,474
It is on the nights because you don't

1197
00:42:12,474 --> 00:42:13,675
go to the extra effort on the days

1198
00:42:13,675 --> 00:42:15,515
you're doing dishes. Maybe it's because I catch

1199
00:42:15,515 --> 00:42:17,275
up first. But on the nights I wash

1200
00:42:17,275 --> 00:42:19,195
dishes, you have gone to extra effort that

1201
00:42:19,195 --> 00:42:20,635
you did not put in on Saturday or

1202
00:42:20,635 --> 00:42:22,699
Sunday or any of these other days. You're

1203
00:42:22,699 --> 00:42:24,480
doing it and you don't even know it.

1204
00:42:24,699 --> 00:42:26,539
You're taking care of me and you don't

1205
00:42:26,539 --> 00:42:28,859
even know it. And, you know, I I

1206
00:42:28,859 --> 00:42:31,259
do. And that's why I do it. Because

1207
00:42:31,259 --> 00:42:33,759
I know you're busy and and and now,

1208
00:42:36,945 --> 00:42:38,724
you know, with with you being

1209
00:42:39,425 --> 00:42:40,085
not only

1210
00:42:41,744 --> 00:42:43,125
a wife, sub, mother,

1211
00:42:44,144 --> 00:42:45,045
business owner,

1212
00:42:45,425 --> 00:42:46,864
you know, now you're back to being a

1213
00:42:46,864 --> 00:42:47,605
school teacher.

1214
00:42:48,545 --> 00:42:51,025
Teacher of record only. I let I let

1215
00:42:51,025 --> 00:42:53,329
the Internet do what it needs to do.

1216
00:42:53,469 --> 00:42:54,849
So so, you know,

1217
00:42:55,949 --> 00:42:57,329
you you have a lot.

1218
00:42:58,190 --> 00:43:00,269
So that's why I don't mind doing things

1219
00:43:00,269 --> 00:43:01,869
like that. I mean, it that's even, you

1220
00:43:01,869 --> 00:43:03,650
know, talking about I forgot, you know,

1221
00:43:04,724 --> 00:43:06,724
yeah. After dinner, do the dishes, you know,

1222
00:43:06,724 --> 00:43:08,405
load the dishwasher and turn it on. Because

1223
00:43:08,405 --> 00:43:09,925
the other one I forgot about. I know

1224
00:43:09,925 --> 00:43:11,285
what you're thinking about. You know,

1225
00:43:11,684 --> 00:43:13,465
a lot of times when we have

1226
00:43:13,845 --> 00:43:14,345
dessert

1227
00:43:15,765 --> 00:43:16,505
after dinner,

1228
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:21,139
you know, I will wash

1229
00:43:22,079 --> 00:43:23,619
all all the dessert

1230
00:43:24,159 --> 00:43:25,840
before we go to bed. And that and

1231
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,519
that's again a kind of a two fold

1232
00:43:27,519 --> 00:43:29,679
thing for me because I really don't like

1233
00:43:29,679 --> 00:43:31,840
waking up the dishes in the sink because

1234
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,855
I'm like True. It's starting already. But you

1235
00:43:34,855 --> 00:43:36,775
also when I stand there and I'm like,

1236
00:43:36,775 --> 00:43:38,934
I'll wash these, you're like, no. Go sit

1237
00:43:38,934 --> 00:43:41,015
down. I'll wash these. And and and again,

1238
00:43:41,015 --> 00:43:43,255
I I do that in the evening because

1239
00:43:43,255 --> 00:43:44,954
you do so much for everybody.

1240
00:43:45,735 --> 00:43:46,875
I mean, it's the least.

1241
00:43:48,329 --> 00:43:49,869
You do plenty. So

1242
00:43:50,490 --> 00:43:50,990
I

1243
00:43:51,849 --> 00:43:53,610
I'm not good with taking the compliment. It's

1244
00:43:53,610 --> 00:43:56,010
fine. Yeah. But and here's how I real

1245
00:43:56,090 --> 00:43:57,690
here's how I realized that I clocked what

1246
00:43:57,690 --> 00:44:00,010
you were doing for on and so if

1247
00:44:00,010 --> 00:44:02,329
there's if it's a light dishwasher load, we

1248
00:44:02,329 --> 00:44:04,414
will just wait and not run it until

1249
00:44:04,414 --> 00:44:05,855
after we've had, like, some hard dessert or

1250
00:44:05,855 --> 00:44:08,114
whatever. But when that dishwasher is full,

1251
00:44:08,655 --> 00:44:10,275
they're getting hand washed. Mhmm.

1252
00:44:10,574 --> 00:44:12,094
I realized it was a thing he was

1253
00:44:12,094 --> 00:44:14,175
doing for me and not just I want

1254
00:44:14,175 --> 00:44:15,795
the dessert dishes to be done.

1255
00:44:16,739 --> 00:44:19,480
When the 16 year old has dessert and

1256
00:44:19,619 --> 00:44:21,539
and and uses a a dish, that child

1257
00:44:21,539 --> 00:44:23,380
is that's the rule. You have to wash

1258
00:44:23,380 --> 00:44:24,199
your own dish,

1259
00:44:25,059 --> 00:44:26,199
which might be why

1260
00:44:26,900 --> 00:44:29,539
they just hunch over the sink and eat

1261
00:44:29,539 --> 00:44:31,784
their dessert like a fucking raccoon sometimes, but

1262
00:44:31,784 --> 00:44:32,284
whatever.

1263
00:44:33,704 --> 00:44:35,565
And I had to explain to the kid

1264
00:44:35,625 --> 00:44:37,464
the other day. I was like because they

1265
00:44:37,464 --> 00:44:38,984
were like, well, why aren't you washing yours?

1266
00:44:38,984 --> 00:44:40,984
I go, mister John washes mine. He does

1267
00:44:40,984 --> 00:44:42,585
that for me. And that's when I was

1268
00:44:42,585 --> 00:44:44,264
like, oh my god. He does that for

1269
00:44:44,264 --> 00:44:44,764
me.

1270
00:44:45,065 --> 00:44:45,724
I do.

1271
00:44:46,269 --> 00:44:48,190
I do find it funny. I would almost

1272
00:44:48,190 --> 00:44:49,470
like to go I need to go back

1273
00:44:49,470 --> 00:44:51,710
and, like, look or listen to the the

1274
00:44:51,710 --> 00:44:54,750
previous episode because, man, our acts of service

1275
00:44:54,750 --> 00:44:56,450
are very kitchen oriented,

1276
00:44:56,910 --> 00:44:57,570
very dishes

1277
00:44:58,110 --> 00:44:59,355
heavy, very chore

1278
00:45:01,434 --> 00:45:03,295
heavy, like putting out laundry

1279
00:45:04,074 --> 00:45:05,215
and doing dishes.

1280
00:45:05,594 --> 00:45:06,094
And

1281
00:45:07,675 --> 00:45:09,675
but, you know, I think I think what

1282
00:45:09,675 --> 00:45:11,295
part of what we were talking about

1283
00:45:11,699 --> 00:45:14,260
in that previous episodes, it still holds true.

1284
00:45:14,260 --> 00:45:16,179
And I think some people who tend to

1285
00:45:16,179 --> 00:45:18,119
be new to this need the reminder

1286
00:45:18,739 --> 00:45:19,239
that

1287
00:45:19,780 --> 00:45:20,519
the domestic

1288
00:45:20,820 --> 00:45:23,474
tasks do not have to be role specific.

1289
00:45:23,715 --> 00:45:25,474
There are some dynamics where that's what you

1290
00:45:25,474 --> 00:45:27,715
negotiate, and there's nothing wrong with that. Right.

1291
00:45:27,715 --> 00:45:29,795
But if you're looking at it going, I

1292
00:45:29,795 --> 00:45:32,355
did not sign up to do cooking and

1293
00:45:32,355 --> 00:45:34,275
laundry and dishes, and that's not what that's

1294
00:45:34,275 --> 00:45:35,974
not what I want in the power exchange.

1295
00:45:36,515 --> 00:45:37,320
JB is

1296
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:39,420
no less dominant because

1297
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,219
he folds bras sometimes.

1298
00:45:42,599 --> 00:45:44,599
You know? It's like or he, like, you

1299
00:45:44,599 --> 00:45:46,440
know, puts on his rubber gloves when it's

1300
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,920
a real grody issue that something needs to

1301
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,239
be cleaned. Like, you know, that's it's not

1302
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:52,940
about just like it's not about

1303
00:45:53,704 --> 00:45:56,105
gender, like, men only do this and women

1304
00:45:56,105 --> 00:45:56,844
only do that.

1305
00:45:57,465 --> 00:46:00,184
It's not about it's not role specific either.

1306
00:46:00,184 --> 00:46:03,144
He is no more or less dominant when

1307
00:46:03,144 --> 00:46:05,164
he's vacuuming the floor, which he

1308
00:46:05,465 --> 00:46:07,885
takes very seriously vacuuming the floors,

1309
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,480
has his own vacuum that I literally have

1310
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,059
never turned on, never pushed, never nothing.

1311
00:46:14,319 --> 00:46:16,319
He picked that one out. We found it

1312
00:46:16,319 --> 00:46:17,059
on sale.

1313
00:46:18,079 --> 00:46:20,000
He will send me to the store to

1314
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:20,914
get the carpet

1315
00:46:21,614 --> 00:46:24,494
powder stuff to Yep. And then that's his

1316
00:46:24,494 --> 00:46:25,635
little I mean

1317
00:46:26,414 --> 00:46:27,695
and it has nothing to do with our

1318
00:46:27,695 --> 00:46:30,335
fucking roles because those tasks are not there's

1319
00:46:30,335 --> 00:46:32,175
just too much else going on Right. That

1320
00:46:32,175 --> 00:46:33,215
I could be doing as a sub and

1321
00:46:33,215 --> 00:46:34,574
that needs to be done around this home.

1322
00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:34,889
And we

1323
00:46:35,769 --> 00:46:38,730
we share the load, but we will do

1324
00:46:38,730 --> 00:46:40,269
what we can for each other

1325
00:46:41,289 --> 00:46:42,889
when we see the need and we have

1326
00:46:42,889 --> 00:46:44,969
the energy. And and those worlds have to

1327
00:46:44,969 --> 00:46:47,469
collide. You have to see the need and

1328
00:46:47,769 --> 00:46:48,989
and have the energy.

1329
00:46:49,315 --> 00:46:50,994
But we still, yeah, we still do those

1330
00:46:50,994 --> 00:46:51,494
things.

1331
00:46:52,594 --> 00:46:54,434
I think that's just kind of a hallmark

1332
00:46:54,434 --> 00:46:57,255
of a healthy relationship regardless of flavor.

1333
00:46:58,114 --> 00:46:59,954
I think you should to your to the

1334
00:46:59,954 --> 00:47:02,690
ability to the extent you can, do my

1335
00:47:02,690 --> 00:47:03,989
shit for each other.

1336
00:47:05,809 --> 00:47:09,349
Anything else? No. Okay. Next one. Mhmm.

1337
00:47:10,049 --> 00:47:11,589
How we manage money.

1338
00:47:12,849 --> 00:47:15,429
The, we had a had a episode

1339
00:47:15,809 --> 00:47:16,789
way early,

1340
00:47:17,304 --> 00:47:18,284
old as shit

1341
00:47:18,824 --> 00:47:22,125
in the archives where we actually negotiated. We

1342
00:47:22,265 --> 00:47:24,525
turned the mics on and negotiated something financial,

1343
00:47:25,224 --> 00:47:26,684
for an episode. And then

1344
00:47:27,065 --> 00:47:28,425
in 2020,

1345
00:47:28,425 --> 00:47:31,360
episode two forty three, we talked about it

1346
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:31,860
again.

1347
00:47:33,199 --> 00:47:34,719
I don't know how much has changed. I

1348
00:47:34,719 --> 00:47:37,940
know this our circumstances have changed. 2020 was

1349
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,599
fucked up. For a lot of people, it

1350
00:47:39,599 --> 00:47:41,280
was a fucked up year. Yeah. But our

1351
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:42,099
2020

1352
00:47:42,159 --> 00:47:42,659
started

1353
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,900
a bad slate for us,

1354
00:47:45,275 --> 00:47:47,434
and it fundamentally changed how we do a

1355
00:47:47,434 --> 00:47:49,195
lot of things in our relationship. Yeah. Who

1356
00:47:49,195 --> 00:47:51,515
does what and who's responsible for what, and

1357
00:47:51,515 --> 00:47:54,474
does power exchange have any say in it

1358
00:47:54,474 --> 00:47:54,974
anymore?

1359
00:47:56,555 --> 00:47:58,235
And the way we manage money right now

1360
00:47:58,235 --> 00:48:00,555
is baby girl manages the money. Mhmm. I

1361
00:48:00,555 --> 00:48:02,150
don't make big decisions.

1362
00:48:02,530 --> 00:48:04,609
I don't make tricky decisions. I don't make

1363
00:48:04,609 --> 00:48:05,510
hard decisions

1364
00:48:06,609 --> 00:48:08,690
by myself. Mhmm. I will come up with

1365
00:48:08,690 --> 00:48:10,449
ideas that I think will work, but they

1366
00:48:10,449 --> 00:48:12,869
all go to JB. JB is the decider.

1367
00:48:13,010 --> 00:48:16,025
Mhmm. But there are times he's like, okay.

1368
00:48:16,025 --> 00:48:17,944
Yeah. Yeah. I have to decide what are

1369
00:48:17,944 --> 00:48:19,464
we doing. Just tell me what you think

1370
00:48:19,464 --> 00:48:21,065
we need to do. What is the best?

1371
00:48:21,065 --> 00:48:23,164
And the one that makes me super uncomfortable

1372
00:48:23,464 --> 00:48:24,525
but is responsible

1373
00:48:25,304 --> 00:48:27,625
is when he asks me, hey. Can I

1374
00:48:27,625 --> 00:48:29,710
buy that? I'm like, I hate everything about

1375
00:48:29,710 --> 00:48:30,369
that question.

1376
00:48:30,750 --> 00:48:33,070
I want us to make those decisions together.

1377
00:48:33,070 --> 00:48:35,070
I want us to both be aware of

1378
00:48:35,070 --> 00:48:37,789
what's coming in and coming out. But something

1379
00:48:37,789 --> 00:48:40,829
about my daddy asking me if he can

1380
00:48:40,829 --> 00:48:41,570
do something,

1381
00:48:42,184 --> 00:48:43,904
Oh, my God. I wanna die. I think

1382
00:48:43,904 --> 00:48:45,385
I think I I think I know how

1383
00:48:45,385 --> 00:48:47,144
I can do that better. It just came

1384
00:48:47,144 --> 00:48:49,324
to me. Okay. Is it in the budget?

1385
00:48:51,065 --> 00:48:53,224
We need to get have more serious conversations

1386
00:48:53,224 --> 00:48:55,485
about our budget. But I know. I know.

1387
00:48:55,579 --> 00:48:58,159
Now I know. Most of those things, I

1388
00:48:58,380 --> 00:48:59,599
probably do

1389
00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:01,039
99%

1390
00:49:01,260 --> 00:49:02,559
of our personal spending.

1391
00:49:02,860 --> 00:49:04,880
I monitor the bills. I know the balances

1392
00:49:05,099 --> 00:49:07,420
when when things get wonky. Because when you

1393
00:49:07,420 --> 00:49:09,340
work for yourself and your money comes in

1394
00:49:09,340 --> 00:49:10,480
at weird times,

1395
00:49:11,224 --> 00:49:13,465
bill paying can be very stressful, not just

1396
00:49:13,465 --> 00:49:14,905
for lack of money, but for, oh, shit.

1397
00:49:14,905 --> 00:49:16,265
The money comes in on this day, but

1398
00:49:16,265 --> 00:49:17,965
the bill is due on that day.

1399
00:49:18,425 --> 00:49:19,565
This might be a problem.

1400
00:49:20,184 --> 00:49:23,340
So I take care of nearly all of,

1401
00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:25,420
you know, if if it's being spent, it's

1402
00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:27,739
probably my debit card that I'm tapping at

1403
00:49:27,739 --> 00:49:28,800
the store. Right?

1404
00:49:30,140 --> 00:49:31,119
Business wise,

1405
00:49:32,780 --> 00:49:34,380
I I have so much on autopay for

1406
00:49:34,380 --> 00:49:36,380
the business that actually buying things were more

1407
00:49:36,380 --> 00:49:37,200
$50.50.

1408
00:49:37,734 --> 00:49:39,734
But I spend a lot online and JB

1409
00:49:39,734 --> 00:49:41,734
leaves the house and he'll leave the house

1410
00:49:41,734 --> 00:49:43,414
going, can I how much can I spend?

1411
00:49:43,414 --> 00:49:44,155
And I'm like,

1412
00:49:44,775 --> 00:49:45,275
I

1413
00:49:45,574 --> 00:49:47,434
I it's a responsible question.

1414
00:49:48,135 --> 00:49:50,315
We need to have these conversations. Mhmm.

1415
00:49:50,695 --> 00:49:53,150
And those are the moments that I hate,

1416
00:49:53,289 --> 00:49:55,049
air quote, being in charge. It's really not

1417
00:49:55,049 --> 00:49:57,449
that I'm in charge. I'm the administrator. Mhmm.

1418
00:49:57,449 --> 00:49:59,210
You know, I'm I mean, I handle all

1419
00:49:59,210 --> 00:50:00,190
of the details.

1420
00:50:00,569 --> 00:50:02,569
You are still the final decider on big

1421
00:50:02,569 --> 00:50:04,349
shit. Yeah. I mean, I I think

1422
00:50:04,775 --> 00:50:05,815
I've been be

1423
00:50:07,655 --> 00:50:09,914
I wanna say interested, but I've I've been

1424
00:50:12,775 --> 00:50:14,715
trying to co money with you more

1425
00:50:15,015 --> 00:50:17,015
than I had for a while. Oh, yes.

1426
00:50:17,015 --> 00:50:19,335
Now yes. Between 2020 and where we are

1427
00:50:19,335 --> 00:50:21,539
now, there was a definite dip where I

1428
00:50:21,539 --> 00:50:23,160
finally had to come to you and go,

1429
00:50:23,539 --> 00:50:25,220
I need you to be more involved. This

1430
00:50:25,220 --> 00:50:27,059
is a this is a level of stress

1431
00:50:27,059 --> 00:50:28,900
I have not felt in and I'm that's

1432
00:50:28,900 --> 00:50:30,599
literally twenty years

1433
00:50:30,900 --> 00:50:31,640
about money

1434
00:50:32,114 --> 00:50:34,675
and I am I'm drowning in it because

1435
00:50:34,675 --> 00:50:37,474
I was care I decide I chose I

1436
00:50:37,474 --> 00:50:39,554
offered JB let me. He gave his permission.

1437
00:50:39,554 --> 00:50:41,715
I chose to carry the burden of the

1438
00:50:41,715 --> 00:50:44,775
financial stress of looking at the numbers daily

1439
00:50:45,155 --> 00:50:45,655
and

1440
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,960
juggling the which bill gets and how do

1441
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,800
we make it work. I chose to to

1442
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:50,859
take that on

1443
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:51,900
because

1444
00:50:53,639 --> 00:50:55,559
his you know, the thing that causes us

1445
00:50:55,559 --> 00:50:57,559
to fight the fastest will be money, and

1446
00:50:57,559 --> 00:50:59,400
it's because of a it's a stressor for

1447
00:50:59,400 --> 00:50:59,655
him.

1448
00:51:00,215 --> 00:51:02,074
I'm I don't fight about the money.

1449
00:51:02,695 --> 00:51:04,614
Mhmm. JB gets very riled up. So I

1450
00:51:04,614 --> 00:51:06,054
was like, if I take this on that's

1451
00:51:06,054 --> 00:51:07,195
less stress for him,

1452
00:51:07,574 --> 00:51:09,175
I know I'm gonna bring shit to him.

1453
00:51:09,175 --> 00:51:11,094
We're gonna make decisions together. He's gonna be

1454
00:51:11,094 --> 00:51:13,029
the decider. It's fine. But there came a

1455
00:51:13,029 --> 00:51:14,069
point, and I think this is when you

1456
00:51:14,069 --> 00:51:16,309
were, like, in the depths of the deepest

1457
00:51:16,309 --> 00:51:17,989
part of your depression in the Mhmm. These

1458
00:51:17,989 --> 00:51:19,750
past five years, where I just had to

1459
00:51:19,750 --> 00:51:21,190
come to you and go, I am I'm

1460
00:51:21,190 --> 00:51:23,109
carrying too much of this weight. It's too

1461
00:51:23,109 --> 00:51:23,609
much.

1462
00:51:23,909 --> 00:51:25,589
And I I need you to be more

1463
00:51:25,589 --> 00:51:27,914
involved. There so here's what's funny.

1464
00:51:28,474 --> 00:51:30,315
There's a part of me, and it's not

1465
00:51:30,315 --> 00:51:32,235
a big part, that's like, I wish I

1466
00:51:32,235 --> 00:51:34,094
could kinda hand it over to you.

1467
00:51:34,875 --> 00:51:36,795
Like, we do when we first were together.

1468
00:51:36,795 --> 00:51:38,554
We first moved in together, and you paid

1469
00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,289
all the bills. And I just went, okay.

1470
00:51:40,369 --> 00:51:42,449
Can I have $10, daddy? And, like, it

1471
00:51:42,449 --> 00:51:43,190
was delightful.

1472
00:51:43,969 --> 00:51:45,250
Because that was the first time in my

1473
00:51:45,250 --> 00:51:47,269
adult life another adult was

1474
00:51:47,570 --> 00:51:49,329
was thinking about it and focusing on it,

1475
00:51:49,329 --> 00:51:50,690
and I didn't really have to. I needed

1476
00:51:50,690 --> 00:51:52,849
to be aware as a responsible adult, but

1477
00:51:52,849 --> 00:51:54,210
I didn't I didn't have to take on

1478
00:51:54,210 --> 00:51:54,789
the burden.

1479
00:51:57,045 --> 00:51:58,264
Fuck. I just

1480
00:51:59,125 --> 00:52:00,965
no. But so there is a part of

1481
00:52:00,965 --> 00:52:02,565
me that's kind of wishes I could go

1482
00:52:02,565 --> 00:52:04,565
here, but there's a bigger part of me

1483
00:52:04,565 --> 00:52:07,045
who has control issues and knows how stressful

1484
00:52:07,045 --> 00:52:08,485
things still are even though they're way better

1485
00:52:08,485 --> 00:52:10,510
than they were. Mhmm. That kinda

1486
00:52:10,949 --> 00:52:12,630
I could never take my fingers out of

1487
00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:13,289
it completely.

1488
00:52:13,910 --> 00:52:16,070
I just Yeah. I get it. I get

1489
00:52:16,070 --> 00:52:18,150
that. And I I actually think that would

1490
00:52:18,150 --> 00:52:19,750
be a source of tension because I have

1491
00:52:19,750 --> 00:52:21,465
set things up in ways that make sense

1492
00:52:21,465 --> 00:52:22,744
to me and the ways I can make

1493
00:52:22,744 --> 00:52:24,744
them work. You of course would come in

1494
00:52:24,744 --> 00:52:26,844
and go oh no here's another way.

1495
00:52:28,425 --> 00:52:31,085
I don't know that I am submissive enough.

1496
00:52:32,664 --> 00:52:33,724
Just I think

1497
00:52:34,344 --> 00:52:37,309
the bounds of my submission would be tested.

1498
00:52:37,309 --> 00:52:39,390
That that that's that's the boundary for you.

1499
00:52:39,390 --> 00:52:40,449
I don't know why.

1500
00:52:40,750 --> 00:52:43,570
It was so delightful for, like, the the

1501
00:52:43,710 --> 00:52:44,210
four,

1502
00:52:45,309 --> 00:52:47,630
five and a half years Mhmm. That you

1503
00:52:47,630 --> 00:52:49,954
just handled it. You handled it more when

1504
00:52:49,954 --> 00:52:51,315
you still had your big boy job and

1505
00:52:51,315 --> 00:52:53,795
so you had a regular paycheck. Yeah. But

1506
00:52:53,795 --> 00:52:55,635
then Yeah. I had to take over some

1507
00:52:55,635 --> 00:52:56,695
of it when

1508
00:52:57,235 --> 00:53:00,114
you started you became self employed and the

1509
00:53:00,114 --> 00:53:01,875
majority of the income was coming from my

1510
00:53:01,875 --> 00:53:03,839
freelance writing because I knew how much it

1511
00:53:03,839 --> 00:53:04,960
was gonna be, what day it was gonna

1512
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:06,880
land, blah blah blah. It was we were

1513
00:53:06,880 --> 00:53:07,380
more

1514
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,559
collaborative during that time. Yes. And then there

1515
00:53:10,559 --> 00:53:12,980
was this, like, four to five years where

1516
00:53:13,199 --> 00:53:15,519
we were not really collaborating. And now we're

1517
00:53:15,519 --> 00:53:17,445
kind of back to collaborating, but it is

1518
00:53:17,445 --> 00:53:19,865
still more of my responsibility Yeah.

1519
00:53:20,405 --> 00:53:20,885
Than

1520
00:53:21,525 --> 00:53:22,025
yeah.

1521
00:53:22,565 --> 00:53:24,805
So, yeah, sometimes I'm like, god, I kinda

1522
00:53:24,805 --> 00:53:26,805
wish. And here's the thing. I think if

1523
00:53:26,805 --> 00:53:27,545
we had

1524
00:53:28,005 --> 00:53:29,960
an abundance in a way that there there

1525
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:31,559
was never a question where the bill's gonna

1526
00:53:31,559 --> 00:53:33,079
get paid or do we have to be

1527
00:53:33,079 --> 00:53:35,400
creative, right, this week until next week or

1528
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:35,900
whatever.

1529
00:53:36,679 --> 00:53:38,039
I think I could. I'd be like, oh,

1530
00:53:38,039 --> 00:53:39,559
because there's not really anything to worry about.

1531
00:53:39,559 --> 00:53:41,500
We put as much on autopay as possible.

1532
00:53:41,639 --> 00:53:43,684
We talk about purchases. We move the fuck

1533
00:53:43,684 --> 00:53:45,525
on with our lives. Mhmm. But we're not

1534
00:53:45,525 --> 00:53:47,765
quite at that point. It has to be

1535
00:53:47,765 --> 00:53:49,465
monitored, like, really closely.

1536
00:53:50,244 --> 00:53:50,985
Yeah. Yeah.

1537
00:53:52,885 --> 00:53:54,724
So, yeah, that that's our update on our

1538
00:53:54,724 --> 00:53:56,324
money. It is there we've done a one

1539
00:53:56,324 --> 00:53:58,619
eighty. Yep. I mean, I think the 2020

1540
00:53:58,619 --> 00:53:59,599
episode, we,

1541
00:54:02,219 --> 00:54:03,659
were more like we are now because that's

1542
00:54:03,659 --> 00:54:06,139
when that started, was in 2020. Mhmm. But,

1543
00:54:06,139 --> 00:54:08,139
yeah, from the start of our relation from

1544
00:54:08,139 --> 00:54:09,659
the start of this podcast to where we

1545
00:54:09,659 --> 00:54:10,319
are now,

1546
00:54:10,925 --> 00:54:13,984
complete flip. Yeah. Okay. Next one. Mhmm.

1547
00:54:15,405 --> 00:54:18,704
Working together, business partners and our power exchange,

1548
00:54:19,005 --> 00:54:21,085
that is also from 2020. Man, we were

1549
00:54:21,085 --> 00:54:23,105
doing some bangers in 2020.

1550
00:54:23,484 --> 00:54:24,625
That was a very

1551
00:54:25,119 --> 00:54:25,619
formative

1552
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:27,219
year in our lives.

1553
00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:30,339
That was episode two forty six.

1554
00:54:31,199 --> 00:54:32,880
And I think we talked about, like, we

1555
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:35,199
were talking about how how we split our

1556
00:54:35,199 --> 00:54:37,215
duties and how that incorporates our power change.

1557
00:54:37,215 --> 00:54:39,215
I don't know that much has changed, but

1558
00:54:39,215 --> 00:54:41,715
the business has changed for us. Yeah.

1559
00:54:42,095 --> 00:54:42,595
So

1560
00:54:43,135 --> 00:54:45,614
from your perspective as a dom and being

1561
00:54:45,614 --> 00:54:46,595
business partners,

1562
00:54:46,974 --> 00:54:48,275
where are you at

1563
00:54:48,974 --> 00:54:50,329
in your mind with with that? You know,

1564
00:54:50,329 --> 00:54:53,010
it's it's kinda funny because to a certain

1565
00:54:53,010 --> 00:54:53,510
extent,

1566
00:54:54,130 --> 00:54:55,029
when it comes

1567
00:54:56,369 --> 00:54:57,190
to the business,

1568
00:55:01,010 --> 00:55:03,829
I don't really see that as a extension

1569
00:55:04,049 --> 00:55:06,715
of our power exchange. We kind of can't

1570
00:55:06,715 --> 00:55:09,054
run it that way. Yeah. Yeah. I can't

1571
00:55:09,434 --> 00:55:12,335
do now, does my service sub self

1572
00:55:12,715 --> 00:55:14,655
kick in? Yes. Mhmm.

1573
00:55:15,034 --> 00:55:17,280
Am I gonna try and get am I

1574
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:19,280
constantly asking, what can I do for you?

1575
00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:20,800
What can I do to help you? Part

1576
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,039
of that is because I fucking love you,

1577
00:55:23,039 --> 00:55:24,340
and you're my partner.

1578
00:55:25,039 --> 00:55:25,539
Also,

1579
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:28,480
as a a business person, apparently, that's what

1580
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:29,059
I am,

1581
00:55:31,484 --> 00:55:32,944
As a business baby girl,

1582
00:55:33,644 --> 00:55:35,244
I'm like, how can I get more product

1583
00:55:35,244 --> 00:55:36,844
out because that is how you make fucking

1584
00:55:36,844 --> 00:55:37,344
sales?

1585
00:55:39,804 --> 00:55:40,464
You know,

1586
00:55:41,404 --> 00:55:44,444
you know, and and there's the but I

1587
00:55:44,444 --> 00:55:45,885
I don't know how to function if I'm

1588
00:55:45,885 --> 00:55:47,659
not helping you. And I see that you

1589
00:55:47,659 --> 00:55:50,299
need help. How can I help? So it's

1590
00:55:50,299 --> 00:55:52,000
very convoluted for me,

1591
00:55:52,699 --> 00:55:54,000
because we don't make

1592
00:55:54,699 --> 00:55:55,920
any business decisions

1593
00:55:56,460 --> 00:55:58,299
on our own that are like if it's

1594
00:55:58,299 --> 00:56:00,734
under, like, $50, we just do what we

1595
00:56:00,734 --> 00:56:02,255
gotta do. We might have a quick conversation

1596
00:56:02,255 --> 00:56:04,355
about money, but whatever. Right. But, like,

1597
00:56:04,655 --> 00:56:07,214
business decisions, we always make together. And I

1598
00:56:07,295 --> 00:56:09,534
here's the thing I don't know that you

1599
00:56:09,534 --> 00:56:10,034
realize.

1600
00:56:10,494 --> 00:56:12,194
I will always defer to you.

1601
00:56:12,869 --> 00:56:15,109
Unless, like, unless there's some part of me

1602
00:56:15,109 --> 00:56:16,409
that just goes

1603
00:56:17,670 --> 00:56:19,589
almost like I I say for it out,

1604
00:56:19,589 --> 00:56:22,630
like, no. I have a fundamentally different opinion.

1605
00:56:22,630 --> 00:56:24,710
I have a fundamentally different view on this.

1606
00:56:24,710 --> 00:56:27,130
I have to push this. I can't just

1607
00:56:27,485 --> 00:56:28,925
concede and go, yeah. Sure. We'll do it

1608
00:56:28,925 --> 00:56:30,545
that way. Mhmm. That's extremely

1609
00:56:31,164 --> 00:56:33,344
rare. Like, I can't even remember

1610
00:56:33,644 --> 00:56:35,164
the last time that might have come up

1611
00:56:35,164 --> 00:56:36,144
business wise.

1612
00:56:37,005 --> 00:56:38,525
But the thing I and that's the thing

1613
00:56:38,525 --> 00:56:39,724
that I don't I think a lot of

1614
00:56:39,724 --> 00:56:41,559
doms don't always realize, especially if you have

1615
00:56:41,559 --> 00:56:43,099
a service oriented sub.

1616
00:56:44,119 --> 00:56:46,859
My inclination is always to defer to you.

1617
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:48,280
Yeah. And I know that's not the first

1618
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:49,739
time I've said that. I that's just

1619
00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:51,500
that's where I'm at.

1620
00:56:52,199 --> 00:56:53,960
I want you to have what you want.

1621
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:55,875
I want to be of service to you.

1622
00:56:55,875 --> 00:56:57,015
You know? Mhmm.

1623
00:56:58,195 --> 00:57:00,434
It's a power that you gotta, like, use

1624
00:57:00,434 --> 00:57:00,934
wisely.

1625
00:57:04,675 --> 00:57:06,355
Working to get but that's the thing. Great

1626
00:57:06,355 --> 00:57:07,655
power comes great responsibility.

1627
00:57:07,954 --> 00:57:09,074
It does. Mhmm.

1628
00:57:09,554 --> 00:57:10,775
I do think

1629
00:57:12,170 --> 00:57:14,809
the deference in the decision making is always

1630
00:57:14,809 --> 00:57:17,710
there. Mhmm. But that I make more decisions,

1631
00:57:18,250 --> 00:57:21,210
again, that are, like, not expensive, not business

1632
00:57:21,210 --> 00:57:22,109
altering decisions.

1633
00:57:22,489 --> 00:57:24,250
I think I do a lot more of

1634
00:57:24,250 --> 00:57:26,324
that on my own now. Like, I I

1635
00:57:26,324 --> 00:57:28,644
have subscribed to so many services that I

1636
00:57:28,644 --> 00:57:30,324
use for our business that you were like,

1637
00:57:30,324 --> 00:57:31,684
I wouldn't even know what that was if

1638
00:57:31,684 --> 00:57:32,804
you paid me. Like, I don't have a

1639
00:57:32,804 --> 00:57:34,405
fucking clue what that is. Yeah. Because I've

1640
00:57:34,405 --> 00:57:36,804
just made those decisions. Mhmm. And it's like

1641
00:57:36,804 --> 00:57:38,489
when you decide to make product,

1642
00:57:38,889 --> 00:57:41,130
I'm like something new. You're not coming to

1643
00:57:41,130 --> 00:57:43,690
me. There's no conference over this. You just

1644
00:57:43,690 --> 00:57:45,130
go, I wanna make something new. And I

1645
00:57:45,130 --> 00:57:47,230
go, okay, daddy. And we we

1646
00:57:48,489 --> 00:57:49,309
move on.

1647
00:57:50,250 --> 00:57:52,065
So in some ways, yeah, not a lot

1648
00:57:52,065 --> 00:57:53,905
has changed, but I think as our personal

1649
00:57:53,905 --> 00:57:56,385
life has shifted, some of that has bled

1650
00:57:56,385 --> 00:57:58,085
over into our working life.

1651
00:57:58,704 --> 00:58:01,444
We are still as bad as ever about

1652
00:58:02,065 --> 00:58:03,444
having clear separations

1653
00:58:03,744 --> 00:58:04,484
and demarcations.

1654
00:58:05,105 --> 00:58:07,684
We did good for a while. I was,

1655
00:58:08,599 --> 00:58:10,460
I don't know. Was it a perimenopause

1656
00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:11,660
thing? Was

1657
00:58:12,199 --> 00:58:14,380
it on the verge of burnout? Something happened

1658
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:16,920
for me at the beginning of this year,

1659
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:17,800
2025,

1660
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:19,719
up until, like, a like, a month or

1661
00:58:19,719 --> 00:58:21,635
so ago where I didn't have a lot

1662
00:58:21,635 --> 00:58:23,474
of get up and go. I didn't have

1663
00:58:23,554 --> 00:58:25,234
like, I did what I needed to do,

1664
00:58:25,234 --> 00:58:27,394
but to go the extra mile to do

1665
00:58:27,394 --> 00:58:29,954
anything extra, it was not there for me,

1666
00:58:29,954 --> 00:58:32,195
which I must have needed that break because

1667
00:58:32,195 --> 00:58:33,449
now I'm at a point where I'm like,

1668
00:58:33,530 --> 00:58:34,489
we're back to it. I'm like, if I

1669
00:58:34,489 --> 00:58:35,929
gotta work a Saturday, I'll work a Saturday.

1670
00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:37,050
If I need to work Sunday night, I'll

1671
00:58:37,050 --> 00:58:39,369
work Sunday night. There's not a clear stop

1672
00:58:39,369 --> 00:58:41,690
and there's a clear start. There's never a

1673
00:58:41,690 --> 00:58:43,070
clear stop. Yeah.

1674
00:58:43,849 --> 00:58:47,515
And that has not changed much. Yeah. I

1675
00:58:47,515 --> 00:58:49,034
know for me and not really for you.

1676
00:58:49,034 --> 00:58:51,034
Not really for me either. No. And and,

1677
00:58:53,275 --> 00:58:54,094
what the

1678
00:58:54,715 --> 00:58:58,015
YouTube is spamming me with ads tonight. Oh.

1679
00:58:59,114 --> 00:58:59,614
But,

1680
00:59:00,474 --> 00:59:01,534
shit. Now we're,

1681
00:59:04,390 --> 00:59:05,930
yeah. I lost it.

1682
00:59:07,030 --> 00:59:07,530
Okay.

1683
00:59:09,110 --> 00:59:10,969
If you get it back, you can interrupt.

1684
00:59:11,030 --> 00:59:12,309
I don't have much more to say because

1685
00:59:12,309 --> 00:59:14,755
there aren't a lot of differences from before.

1686
00:59:14,755 --> 00:59:16,514
No. But it is a fact that we

1687
00:59:16,514 --> 00:59:17,655
continue to be

1688
00:59:18,675 --> 00:59:21,715
business partners with a power exchange. Mhmm. And

1689
00:59:21,715 --> 00:59:23,554
I continue to feel like you just need

1690
00:59:23,554 --> 00:59:25,074
to be your you need a reminder every

1691
00:59:25,074 --> 00:59:26,775
so often that, oh, yeah. You you

1692
00:59:27,380 --> 00:59:28,840
you will almost always win.

1693
00:59:29,380 --> 00:59:30,660
We I don't look at it as winning.

1694
00:59:30,660 --> 00:59:32,340
Like, we're on the same fucking team. Yeah.

1695
00:59:32,340 --> 00:59:33,800
But, yeah, you're you're

1696
00:59:34,340 --> 00:59:35,640
I will defer to you

1697
00:59:36,099 --> 00:59:38,039
more often than you ever fucking realize.

1698
00:59:38,739 --> 00:59:41,860
That's great power, great responsibility bullshit right there.

1699
00:59:41,860 --> 00:59:42,284
Yeah.

1700
00:59:46,125 --> 00:59:47,565
Mhmm. Mhmm. It hasn't come back yet, has

1701
00:59:47,565 --> 00:59:48,065
it?

1702
00:59:48,444 --> 00:59:50,144
Okay. We're gonna go the next one.

1703
00:59:50,764 --> 00:59:52,924
This one is a little silly, but it

1704
00:59:52,924 --> 00:59:55,585
became very important over the past few years.

1705
00:59:56,204 --> 00:59:56,704
And

1706
00:59:57,670 --> 00:59:59,510
I don't have depression, so I'm pretty sure

1707
00:59:59,510 --> 01:00:01,530
I did the heavy lifting here.

1708
01:00:01,909 --> 01:00:04,489
We did an episode again in 2020,

1709
01:00:05,590 --> 01:00:07,909
episode two sixteen. So it was early ish

1710
01:00:07,909 --> 01:00:10,250
in the year on cheering each other up.

1711
01:00:11,005 --> 01:00:13,085
Part of that is, I think, because for

1712
01:00:13,085 --> 01:00:14,224
submissives especially,

1713
01:00:14,925 --> 01:00:16,525
but it can happen to doms. It depends

1714
01:00:16,525 --> 01:00:18,784
on how you view your role. And,

1715
01:00:20,445 --> 01:00:22,525
if there's a the only word I can

1716
01:00:22,525 --> 01:00:24,045
think about is how serious you view your

1717
01:00:24,045 --> 01:00:25,349
role. And what I mean by that is

1718
01:00:25,430 --> 01:00:27,590
is if you have this feeling that doms

1719
01:00:27,590 --> 01:00:29,750
should not do certain things or need certain

1720
01:00:29,750 --> 01:00:32,150
things and subs should only do the thing

1721
01:00:32,150 --> 01:00:33,910
they're asked to do. And there are dynamics

1722
01:00:33,910 --> 01:00:36,090
like that, and that's that's fine. That's valid.

1723
01:00:36,789 --> 01:00:39,364
We are looser. Right? Like, I'm always submissive,

1724
01:00:39,664 --> 01:00:41,445
but I'm also always baby girl.

1725
01:00:41,824 --> 01:00:43,744
And I think taking care of my daddy

1726
01:00:43,744 --> 01:00:44,984
dom means I need to find a way

1727
01:00:44,984 --> 01:00:46,784
to cheer him up. He is always my

1728
01:00:46,784 --> 01:00:48,625
daddy dom. He is always in charge, but

1729
01:00:48,625 --> 01:00:50,864
he thinks taking care of me looks like

1730
01:00:50,864 --> 01:00:53,400
needing to make me happy, make me laugh,

1731
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:53,639
make

1732
01:00:54,679 --> 01:00:55,579
you know, like, just

1733
01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:57,900
smooth away some of, like, the stressors

1734
01:00:58,199 --> 01:00:59,339
for just a bit.

1735
01:01:00,119 --> 01:01:00,619
Now

1736
01:01:01,639 --> 01:01:02,839
when I say I think I do the

1737
01:01:02,839 --> 01:01:04,539
heavy lifting, it is because

1738
01:01:05,414 --> 01:01:08,535
your depression will just tank you. Mhmm. And

1739
01:01:08,535 --> 01:01:10,235
I have some

1740
01:01:11,255 --> 01:01:13,414
is it just a people pleasing? Is it

1741
01:01:13,414 --> 01:01:15,594
love? Is it submission? Is it

1742
01:01:15,894 --> 01:01:17,974
all of the above and some other things

1743
01:01:17,974 --> 01:01:19,940
I haven't thought of? I don't know. But

1744
01:01:19,940 --> 01:01:21,159
when you are unhappy,

1745
01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:22,920
and it's not because we're arguing,

1746
01:01:24,739 --> 01:01:27,239
I want to do everything in my power

1747
01:01:27,779 --> 01:01:29,619
to if I can't make it better or

1748
01:01:29,619 --> 01:01:30,359
fix it,

1749
01:01:31,059 --> 01:01:33,494
I want to get you to smile. I

1750
01:01:33,494 --> 01:01:35,414
want to pull you out of it. I

1751
01:01:35,414 --> 01:01:35,574
want

1752
01:01:36,775 --> 01:01:38,534
I don't know. I want to ease the

1753
01:01:38,534 --> 01:01:39,034
tension.

1754
01:01:39,974 --> 01:01:40,875
Well, you know,

1755
01:01:41,655 --> 01:01:43,275
one of the things that has

1756
01:01:45,140 --> 01:01:47,320
changed since then Mhmm.

1757
01:01:48,739 --> 01:01:50,340
Is when we're going to bed in the

1758
01:01:50,340 --> 01:01:50,840
evening.

1759
01:01:53,539 --> 01:01:55,400
Uh-huh. And a certain someone,

1760
01:01:56,099 --> 01:01:57,239
right before we

1761
01:01:58,180 --> 01:01:59,079
go to sleep,

1762
01:02:00,234 --> 01:02:01,775
happens to get their zoomies.

1763
01:02:03,034 --> 01:02:05,275
I do. Yeah. I do. You do. If

1764
01:02:05,275 --> 01:02:07,514
I if I was masking before, at least

1765
01:02:07,514 --> 01:02:08,175
with you,

1766
01:02:08,875 --> 01:02:10,875
there's no mask. Yeah. No. I don't hide

1767
01:02:10,875 --> 01:02:11,375
shit.

1768
01:02:12,010 --> 01:02:12,650
And and,

1769
01:02:13,289 --> 01:02:14,510
you know, I know I

1770
01:02:15,210 --> 01:02:18,510
I grump and grouse and so much. Grumpy

1771
01:02:18,570 --> 01:02:21,289
polar bear. Yeah. That has not changed in

1772
01:02:21,289 --> 01:02:22,110
all these years.

1773
01:02:23,450 --> 01:02:25,150
Quite frankly, it's probably deepened.

1774
01:02:25,610 --> 01:02:26,829
The grump is grumpier.

1775
01:02:28,155 --> 01:02:29,454
Next thing you know, I'll be putting

1776
01:02:29,994 --> 01:02:31,835
chair out in the front porch and young

1777
01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:33,434
kids get off the lawn. I'm okay with

1778
01:02:33,434 --> 01:02:35,135
that. I I support that message.

1779
01:02:37,594 --> 01:02:39,675
Leave us the hell alone. Don't come to

1780
01:02:39,675 --> 01:02:42,000
my house. Don't don't ring my doorbell. I

1781
01:02:42,000 --> 01:02:43,599
don't wanna talk to you. I will pretend

1782
01:02:43,599 --> 01:02:45,119
you're not I'll pretend I'm not home. I'm

1783
01:02:45,119 --> 01:02:45,860
not answering.

1784
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:48,579
Anyway, that's not what I'm talking about.

1785
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:50,500
Anyhoo,

1786
01:02:51,119 --> 01:02:52,340
but the thing is,

1787
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,239
as much as I harumph and grouse about

1788
01:02:56,239 --> 01:02:56,739
it,

1789
01:02:57,894 --> 01:02:58,795
I like it.

1790
01:02:59,574 --> 01:03:00,074
I

1791
01:03:01,014 --> 01:03:03,355
I don't I'm not always trying to.

1792
01:03:03,974 --> 01:03:05,755
Very rarely am I actually trying.

1793
01:03:06,135 --> 01:03:08,534
But at the the nighttime zoomies, if I

1794
01:03:08,534 --> 01:03:09,815
get them there have been a couple nights

1795
01:03:09,815 --> 01:03:11,094
this week I have not gotten. I was

1796
01:03:11,094 --> 01:03:11,594
exhausted.

1797
01:03:13,710 --> 01:03:15,710
And sometimes when I'm, like, when I'm down,

1798
01:03:15,710 --> 01:03:17,389
when I'm overly stressed, when I'm in my

1799
01:03:17,389 --> 01:03:19,329
head about something, I'm not getting fucking zoomies.

1800
01:03:19,550 --> 01:03:21,710
I am like Lola like that. Like, I

1801
01:03:21,710 --> 01:03:23,650
don't get zoomies just because. Like,

1802
01:03:24,349 --> 01:03:25,724
the stars have to align

1803
01:03:26,105 --> 01:03:26,264
here.

1804
01:03:26,905 --> 01:03:28,905
But I do love when I can get

1805
01:03:28,905 --> 01:03:33,224
you belly laughing. Like, just bust a fucking

1806
01:03:33,224 --> 01:03:34,984
gut. There have been a few times we've

1807
01:03:34,984 --> 01:03:36,984
made each other laugh so hard we're both

1808
01:03:36,984 --> 01:03:37,484
crying.

1809
01:03:37,864 --> 01:03:41,150
When it's the nighttime zoomies, I'm laughing until

1810
01:03:41,150 --> 01:03:43,869
I cry because I am mortified that I

1811
01:03:43,869 --> 01:03:45,489
let that much weird out.

1812
01:03:47,469 --> 01:03:49,469
Like, oh my god. I can't believe I

1813
01:03:49,469 --> 01:03:51,630
said that thing, did that thing, and there's

1814
01:03:51,630 --> 01:03:52,289
a witness.

1815
01:03:55,135 --> 01:03:56,894
But I I love getting you to laugh,

1816
01:03:56,894 --> 01:03:57,715
which I think

1817
01:03:58,015 --> 01:03:59,715
I had to learn the hard way

1818
01:04:00,255 --> 01:04:02,335
that I can't always cheer you up, and

1819
01:04:02,335 --> 01:04:03,855
I don't always need to try. And that's

1820
01:04:03,855 --> 01:04:06,015
probably the biggest update from that that episode

1821
01:04:06,015 --> 01:04:07,934
because I maybe we said it then, but

1822
01:04:07,934 --> 01:04:10,050
I don't really remember. Because I am that

1823
01:04:10,210 --> 01:04:11,269
person who wants

1824
01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:14,530
wants you to be happy in whatever way

1825
01:04:14,530 --> 01:04:15,910
I can provide.

1826
01:04:16,289 --> 01:04:18,610
Mhmm. Even though I understand the outside world

1827
01:04:18,610 --> 01:04:20,130
is gonna prevent that at times, and your

1828
01:04:20,130 --> 01:04:21,910
own mind is gonna prevent that at times.

1829
01:04:22,335 --> 01:04:25,155
I have I think I've gotten more comfortable

1830
01:04:26,335 --> 01:04:27,074
with letting

1831
01:04:28,335 --> 01:04:31,054
letting you be because I am better at

1832
01:04:31,054 --> 01:04:31,554
recognizing

1833
01:04:31,855 --> 01:04:33,534
moments that this is not the moment for

1834
01:04:33,534 --> 01:04:35,760
that. And and there and there are times

1835
01:04:36,079 --> 01:04:38,099
too in that that now I

1836
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:41,780
am more able to tell you

1837
01:04:43,679 --> 01:04:45,360
not the time. I know. Do you know

1838
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:45,860
what?

1839
01:04:48,159 --> 01:04:50,079
I get in my feelings I when you

1840
01:04:50,079 --> 01:04:51,440
say that. I know. And but you know

1841
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:52,605
what? It's not because

1842
01:04:52,905 --> 01:04:54,105
I wish it was the time and you

1843
01:04:54,105 --> 01:04:56,364
said it's not. It's not because

1844
01:04:57,545 --> 01:04:59,485
you're telling me it's not the time.

1845
01:05:00,664 --> 01:05:01,565
Something about

1846
01:05:02,184 --> 01:05:04,744
the tone you use and where

1847
01:05:05,260 --> 01:05:08,059
which is never malicious, but there's something about

1848
01:05:08,059 --> 01:05:08,960
that tone

1849
01:05:09,420 --> 01:05:09,920
that

1850
01:05:10,700 --> 01:05:12,460
and I'm using this word the way I

1851
01:05:12,460 --> 01:05:13,360
mean it psychologically

1852
01:05:13,739 --> 01:05:15,360
that is triggering from

1853
01:05:16,220 --> 01:05:17,994
little kid me, and that has nothing to

1854
01:05:17,994 --> 01:05:18,815
do with you.

1855
01:05:19,355 --> 01:05:21,755
That took me multiple times of that happening

1856
01:05:21,755 --> 01:05:23,835
until I finally fucking figured out why I

1857
01:05:23,835 --> 01:05:26,155
hurt my feelings so bad. I hurt my

1858
01:05:26,155 --> 01:05:27,375
feelings so bad.

1859
01:05:28,074 --> 01:05:29,849
The last time it happened, I,

1860
01:05:31,190 --> 01:05:33,670
I walked away. I had my moment. I

1861
01:05:33,670 --> 01:05:35,609
went, oh, shit.

1862
01:05:35,909 --> 01:05:37,929
Yeah. I know where this is coming from.

1863
01:05:38,389 --> 01:05:38,889
Fuck.

1864
01:05:39,510 --> 01:05:41,289
And then pulled my shit myself together.

1865
01:05:41,989 --> 01:05:42,489
But

1866
01:05:42,974 --> 01:05:44,974
there was a time in the not too

1867
01:05:44,974 --> 01:05:45,875
distant past,

1868
01:05:46,414 --> 01:05:48,655
not only would I have stood my ground

1869
01:05:48,655 --> 01:05:49,855
and been like, no. But I want you

1870
01:05:49,855 --> 01:05:51,135
to hear me because the part of it

1871
01:05:51,135 --> 01:05:52,575
is that is the not being heard and

1872
01:05:52,575 --> 01:05:54,575
being dismissed, and that's how my brain is

1873
01:05:54,575 --> 01:05:56,890
interpreting some of that. But it's also man,

1874
01:05:56,890 --> 01:05:59,130
if god. Something's flying around here. Goddamn it.

1875
01:05:59,130 --> 01:06:00,809
Yeah. It's one of those mats in here.

1876
01:06:01,929 --> 01:06:02,429
If

1877
01:06:03,210 --> 01:06:05,210
I can just get you to hear what

1878
01:06:05,210 --> 01:06:07,530
I'm saying because I'm cracking a joke, I'm

1879
01:06:07,530 --> 01:06:08,349
being silly,

1880
01:06:08,835 --> 01:06:11,394
you will then also laugh and we will

1881
01:06:11,394 --> 01:06:12,534
be happy together.

1882
01:06:13,234 --> 01:06:15,715
I still fall into that. I mean, because

1883
01:06:15,715 --> 01:06:17,394
it's sort of like my default and I

1884
01:06:17,394 --> 01:06:18,755
have to pull myself out of it. But

1885
01:06:18,755 --> 01:06:19,494
I have gotten

1886
01:06:20,355 --> 01:06:21,335
better at going,

1887
01:06:22,289 --> 01:06:23,650
it's not my job to cheer him up

1888
01:06:23,650 --> 01:06:24,930
right now. It's not my job to make

1889
01:06:24,930 --> 01:06:27,090
sure that JB is happy every moment of

1890
01:06:27,090 --> 01:06:29,329
every day because one, that's not possible. Mhmm.

1891
01:06:29,329 --> 01:06:30,710
And two, sometimes

1892
01:06:31,250 --> 01:06:32,710
I become the annoying.

1893
01:06:36,204 --> 01:06:37,885
And so I don't like it. I find

1894
01:06:37,885 --> 01:06:39,984
it a very uncomfortable feeling,

1895
01:06:41,324 --> 01:06:43,505
but I just have had to accept that

1896
01:06:43,724 --> 01:06:45,885
you'll come back to me. You'll you'll get

1897
01:06:45,885 --> 01:06:47,744
to a point where you can, like,

1898
01:06:49,750 --> 01:06:52,089
deal. Some sometimes I just need to

1899
01:06:53,190 --> 01:06:55,269
get through it Mhmm. Myself, and there's nothing

1900
01:06:55,269 --> 01:06:56,309
that anybody can

1901
01:06:56,710 --> 01:06:58,949
I know? And I know that. I know

1902
01:06:58,949 --> 01:07:00,885
that. I know that for myself as well.

1903
01:07:00,885 --> 01:07:03,605
And yet, I desperately wanna be the one

1904
01:07:03,605 --> 01:07:05,204
that makes it better for you. No. I

1905
01:07:05,204 --> 01:07:07,125
don't think that's healthy. I don't think that's

1906
01:07:07,125 --> 01:07:07,625
healthy.

1907
01:07:08,724 --> 01:07:10,344
And and, you know, maybe I'm

1908
01:07:10,804 --> 01:07:13,125
added wisdom for every fucking gray hair I've

1909
01:07:13,125 --> 01:07:16,025
added. And I just I understand it now.

1910
01:07:16,269 --> 01:07:18,269
And, like, it's not I don't need to

1911
01:07:18,269 --> 01:07:20,590
cheer you up. Now I will say, and

1912
01:07:20,590 --> 01:07:22,930
I think this is because I probably am

1913
01:07:23,150 --> 01:07:23,650
better

1914
01:07:24,269 --> 01:07:25,650
to an extent hiding

1915
01:07:26,269 --> 01:07:28,030
where my mind is at. Not always because

1916
01:07:28,030 --> 01:07:29,309
you get I'm an open book with you

1917
01:07:29,309 --> 01:07:29,655
for the

1918
01:07:31,574 --> 01:07:32,394
most part. Mhmm. You

1919
01:07:32,934 --> 01:07:34,054
I part of it, I think, is your

1920
01:07:34,054 --> 01:07:35,994
depression. These past few years have been rough.

1921
01:07:37,175 --> 01:07:38,155
My people pleasing

1922
01:07:38,695 --> 01:07:39,755
service missive

1923
01:07:40,215 --> 01:07:42,635
can't handle somebody being unhappy

1924
01:07:43,574 --> 01:07:44,074
self

1925
01:07:44,829 --> 01:07:46,269
focuses on trying to cheer you up and

1926
01:07:46,269 --> 01:07:48,829
had to break myself with that. You are

1927
01:07:48,829 --> 01:07:49,150
not

1928
01:07:49,710 --> 01:07:51,789
that's not your default. Like, you want me

1929
01:07:51,789 --> 01:07:53,869
to be happy. You don't want me to

1930
01:07:53,869 --> 01:07:54,369
be

1931
01:07:54,670 --> 01:07:55,170
unhappy.

1932
01:07:55,630 --> 01:07:56,130
No.

1933
01:07:57,230 --> 01:07:59,230
But I I wonder if it's the the

1934
01:07:59,230 --> 01:08:01,844
vigilance thing. You you don't clock where my

1935
01:08:01,844 --> 01:08:04,585
head is at as quickly as I clock

1936
01:08:04,644 --> 01:08:05,864
your mood. True.

1937
01:08:06,405 --> 01:08:07,945
And then I'm trying to fix it.

1938
01:08:08,485 --> 01:08:09,465
Not always healthy.

1939
01:08:09,925 --> 01:08:11,364
I don't know. Maybe it's a maturity thing.

1940
01:08:11,364 --> 01:08:13,329
You are not always trying to fix my

1941
01:08:13,510 --> 01:08:15,630
mood. Or did I just teach you from

1942
01:08:15,630 --> 01:08:17,310
very early on that my mood can't be

1943
01:08:17,310 --> 01:08:19,310
fixed until I want it to be. I

1944
01:08:19,310 --> 01:08:20,909
don't know. And and, you know, and that

1945
01:08:20,909 --> 01:08:22,989
that is kind of what it is. I

1946
01:08:23,149 --> 01:08:25,569
You're smarter than me. I I have noticed,

1947
01:08:25,574 --> 01:08:27,255
you know, many times when you get when

1948
01:08:27,255 --> 01:08:28,315
you are in

1949
01:08:29,815 --> 01:08:30,954
one of those moods,

1950
01:08:32,854 --> 01:08:34,074
I'm best to just

1951
01:08:34,534 --> 01:08:36,375
You know what? And you're right. You're a

1952
01:08:36,375 --> 01:08:39,175
100% right. There's no world in which you

1953
01:08:39,175 --> 01:08:41,550
can win that. It because I will I

1954
01:08:41,550 --> 01:08:43,389
I will snap because of whatever is going

1955
01:08:43,389 --> 01:08:44,510
on in my head, and then I get

1956
01:08:44,510 --> 01:08:46,510
to feel the guilt of having snapped at

1957
01:08:46,510 --> 01:08:48,029
the man I love and also my daddy

1958
01:08:48,029 --> 01:08:49,949
dom. And then all those feelings. I don't

1959
01:08:49,949 --> 01:08:51,090
want any of those feelings.

1960
01:08:52,909 --> 01:08:55,145
And yet there is still this little kid

1961
01:08:55,145 --> 01:08:56,045
part of me

1962
01:08:56,425 --> 01:08:57,965
who never had somebody

1963
01:08:59,145 --> 01:09:01,324
as a kid go, are you okay?

1964
01:09:02,025 --> 01:09:04,025
You know, what do you need? I'm here

1965
01:09:04,025 --> 01:09:04,685
for you.

1966
01:09:05,145 --> 01:09:06,824
That's my own issue and shit to work

1967
01:09:06,824 --> 01:09:07,289
out.

1968
01:09:07,850 --> 01:09:09,630
That thinks that's what I want.

1969
01:09:11,689 --> 01:09:12,989
And I know realistically,

1970
01:09:13,609 --> 01:09:15,609
if you there are times you could do

1971
01:09:15,609 --> 01:09:16,970
it, but what am I supposed to do?

1972
01:09:16,970 --> 01:09:18,329
Wave a flag when this is the right

1973
01:09:18,329 --> 01:09:19,530
time to do it? I don't even know

1974
01:09:19,609 --> 01:09:20,890
fucking know if it's the right time to

1975
01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:21,404
do it.

1976
01:09:21,965 --> 01:09:23,344
But that is really about

1977
01:09:24,364 --> 01:09:26,444
shit that I have to work through and

1978
01:09:26,444 --> 01:09:28,864
I have to deal with because it's never

1979
01:09:29,244 --> 01:09:31,425
like, when you feel like when you realize,

1980
01:09:31,645 --> 01:09:34,500
oh, I I done fucked up. You're coming

1981
01:09:34,579 --> 01:09:36,600
as soon as, like, it's we're not, like,

1982
01:09:36,659 --> 01:09:38,979
we've calmed down. You're coming to repair. You're

1983
01:09:38,979 --> 01:09:40,500
coming to say you're sorry. You're coming to

1984
01:09:40,500 --> 01:09:42,500
check on me because you know, oh, I

1985
01:09:42,500 --> 01:09:44,340
I caused that. That that one was my

1986
01:09:44,340 --> 01:09:46,279
bad. But when it's just, like,

1987
01:09:47,015 --> 01:09:49,734
the air wafted wrong against my face and

1988
01:09:49,734 --> 01:09:52,215
my hair touched my cheek or something, and

1989
01:09:52,215 --> 01:09:54,215
now I'm overstimulated and pissed off and I

1990
01:09:54,215 --> 01:09:55,654
dropped something because I'm a klutz and I

1991
01:09:55,734 --> 01:09:56,234
and

1992
01:09:57,255 --> 01:09:57,914
you know

1993
01:09:58,614 --> 01:09:59,010
to just

1994
01:09:59,809 --> 01:10:00,630
back up.

1995
01:10:01,729 --> 01:10:03,569
The problem is you don't piss me off

1996
01:10:03,569 --> 01:10:06,449
and do wrong things often enough for me

1997
01:10:06,449 --> 01:10:08,869
to get the, hey, baby girl.

1998
01:10:09,649 --> 01:10:11,569
I'm here. Can we talk? What can I

1999
01:10:11,569 --> 01:10:12,469
do for you?

2000
01:10:13,170 --> 01:10:15,465
You're too busy, like, taking care of me

2001
01:10:15,465 --> 01:10:16,904
on the front end, so I don't even

2002
01:10:16,904 --> 01:10:17,804
fucking notice.

2003
01:10:19,225 --> 01:10:21,804
And you're too busy not hurting my feelings

2004
01:10:22,505 --> 01:10:24,744
on purpose or accidentally or through your own

2005
01:10:24,744 --> 01:10:25,244
actions.

2006
01:10:25,944 --> 01:10:27,965
I'm over here hurting my own feeling.

2007
01:10:30,639 --> 01:10:32,239
So, yeah, I think the biggest thing is

2008
01:10:32,239 --> 01:10:34,000
learning that I don't I'm not supposed to

2009
01:10:34,000 --> 01:10:36,500
cheer you up always. I can't. It's impossible.

2010
01:10:36,639 --> 01:10:37,939
I mean, there there are times

2011
01:10:38,319 --> 01:10:40,800
with you where, you know, I may try

2012
01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:42,414
to dip my toes in the water and

2013
01:10:42,414 --> 01:10:44,435
kinda gauge, feel it out a little bit.

2014
01:10:44,494 --> 01:10:46,835
I think that's what yeah. Like, if I

2015
01:10:46,895 --> 01:10:48,735
if I snark a little bit and I

2016
01:10:48,735 --> 01:10:51,534
crack, like, I'm, like, just a sarcastic shit

2017
01:10:51,534 --> 01:10:53,715
and you chuckle, I'm in,

2018
01:10:54,409 --> 01:10:56,670
we can joke. I can't be boisterous.

2019
01:10:57,130 --> 01:10:58,970
Mhmm. But I can say shit. Maybe I

2020
01:10:58,970 --> 01:11:00,649
can even talk to you. So, yeah, that

2021
01:11:00,649 --> 01:11:02,810
that feeling out of where you're at, yeah,

2022
01:11:02,810 --> 01:11:05,289
I I would say that's a 100% a

2023
01:11:05,289 --> 01:11:07,524
part of of it as well. And that

2024
01:11:07,524 --> 01:11:08,024
is

2025
01:11:08,644 --> 01:11:09,144
growth.

2026
01:11:09,444 --> 01:11:11,144
It was was not

2027
01:11:12,005 --> 01:11:13,764
from my perspective, I was not always like

2028
01:11:13,764 --> 01:11:16,744
that. So maybe that's an aging wisdom maturing

2029
01:11:16,885 --> 01:11:18,664
thing, and I just had to get there.

2030
01:11:20,500 --> 01:11:21,000
Okay.

2031
01:11:22,179 --> 01:11:23,539
I think this one's gonna be the last

2032
01:11:23,539 --> 01:11:25,300
one because we did not speed run like

2033
01:11:25,300 --> 01:11:27,139
I thought was a speed run. Mhmm. This

2034
01:11:27,139 --> 01:11:29,460
one I put in here because, technically, we've

2035
01:11:29,460 --> 01:11:31,460
done this for 50% of the way of

2036
01:11:31,460 --> 01:11:31,960
this.

2037
01:11:32,340 --> 01:11:34,215
So this is the from the oldest episode

2038
01:11:34,215 --> 01:11:34,715
18.

2039
01:11:43,094 --> 01:11:43,594
Wow.

2040
01:11:44,335 --> 01:11:44,835
Holy

2041
01:11:45,574 --> 01:11:46,074
shit.

2042
01:11:46,454 --> 01:11:49,060
So in 2018.

2043
01:11:49,060 --> 01:11:49,640
Wow. Holy

2044
01:11:50,020 --> 01:11:50,520
shit.

2045
01:11:50,979 --> 01:11:52,439
So in 2018,

2046
01:11:53,219 --> 01:11:54,039
our youngest,

2047
01:11:54,420 --> 01:11:55,779
depending on what part of the year we

2048
01:11:55,779 --> 01:11:57,800
were in when we did this, was 13.

2049
01:11:59,060 --> 01:12:02,420
Now the oldest was 13. The youngest was

2050
01:12:02,420 --> 01:12:04,114
eight or nine, depending on where we were

2051
01:12:04,114 --> 01:12:05,255
in the year. Mhmm.

2052
01:12:05,715 --> 01:12:08,614
Fucking babies. They are now 20 and 16,

2053
01:12:08,675 --> 01:12:11,154
still babies, but different kinds of babies. Yeah.

2054
01:12:11,154 --> 01:12:11,895
And we

2055
01:12:12,354 --> 01:12:14,994
did an episode on raising sex positive kink

2056
01:12:14,994 --> 01:12:15,895
friendly kids

2057
01:12:16,439 --> 01:12:19,079
and being age appropriate and being talking to

2058
01:12:19,079 --> 01:12:19,819
your children

2059
01:12:20,119 --> 01:12:20,619
about

2060
01:12:21,079 --> 01:12:23,159
sex ed and raising them to not be

2061
01:12:23,159 --> 01:12:27,000
kink shaming without ever talking about kinks and

2062
01:12:27,000 --> 01:12:28,680
saying the word kink and saying the word

2063
01:12:28,680 --> 01:12:29,180
BDSM,

2064
01:12:30,439 --> 01:12:30,939
because

2065
01:12:31,335 --> 01:12:33,675
we were keeping it age appropriate Mhmm.

2066
01:12:34,135 --> 01:12:36,555
For a 13 and a nine year old.

2067
01:12:39,255 --> 01:12:39,755
So

2068
01:12:40,454 --> 01:12:41,914
our update from that,

2069
01:12:42,534 --> 01:12:43,274
the oldest,

2070
01:12:43,909 --> 01:12:45,210
he's gonna be alright.

2071
01:12:46,149 --> 01:12:49,189
In high school, because of the education we

2072
01:12:49,189 --> 01:12:51,350
provided, the way we talked about sex, the

2073
01:12:51,350 --> 01:12:53,609
things we made sure they the kids understood

2074
01:12:53,670 --> 01:12:55,850
about consent and about, you know,

2075
01:12:56,305 --> 01:12:58,305
please don't get anybody pregnant. I'm too fucking

2076
01:12:58,305 --> 01:12:59,904
young to be a grandma. I'm still too

2077
01:12:59,904 --> 01:13:02,305
young. 20 is very young. Please try not

2078
01:13:02,305 --> 01:13:03,045
to do that.

2079
01:13:05,104 --> 01:13:07,984
The oldest was sort of the sex ed

2080
01:13:07,984 --> 01:13:10,864
guy amongst his His friends. His group. Yeah.

2081
01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:13,140
Like, when they he was, like, when they

2082
01:13:13,140 --> 01:13:15,940
would say something so fucked up and wrong

2083
01:13:15,940 --> 01:13:18,659
about sex, I just had to correct them.

2084
01:13:18,659 --> 01:13:20,659
He'd be like, really? It's like

2085
01:13:22,739 --> 01:13:23,234
Exactly.

2086
01:13:25,154 --> 01:13:27,554
And now, you know, I don't know everything.

2087
01:13:27,554 --> 01:13:30,034
And and now that he's he's got a

2088
01:13:30,034 --> 01:13:31,475
a partner in his life, he needs his

2089
01:13:31,475 --> 01:13:33,554
mom a lot less than his junior year

2090
01:13:33,554 --> 01:13:35,875
of college, which is not a problem. It's

2091
01:13:35,875 --> 01:13:36,774
fine. I'll adjust.

2092
01:13:37,380 --> 01:13:38,820
But those first two years of college, he

2093
01:13:38,820 --> 01:13:40,579
was we were talking a lot, and he

2094
01:13:40,579 --> 01:13:42,280
would share a lot with me. And his

2095
01:13:43,460 --> 01:13:46,920
his sex positivity, but also his understanding

2096
01:13:47,539 --> 01:13:49,560
of consent and

2097
01:13:50,020 --> 01:13:51,159
being very protective

2098
01:13:51,860 --> 01:13:52,360
of

2099
01:13:54,604 --> 01:13:57,505
his friends, his his female friends.

2100
01:13:59,565 --> 01:14:01,244
Part of that is because of who he

2101
01:14:01,244 --> 01:14:03,244
is, obviously. Part of that's because of what

2102
01:14:03,244 --> 01:14:04,284
we taught him. And I know that if

2103
01:14:04,284 --> 01:14:05,965
we had not had those conversations, he would

2104
01:14:05,965 --> 01:14:07,725
not have had to think about that. And

2105
01:14:07,725 --> 01:14:09,520
being in college, he has

2106
01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:11,820
had friends who either before they met him

2107
01:14:11,820 --> 01:14:13,360
had not good

2108
01:14:13,979 --> 01:14:15,100
we I'm not gonna say it because I

2109
01:14:15,100 --> 01:14:16,380
didn't put a trigger warning in, but you

2110
01:14:16,380 --> 01:14:18,619
know what kind of experiences those girls have

2111
01:14:18,619 --> 01:14:19,119
had

2112
01:14:19,500 --> 01:14:21,500
with boys and men in their life. And

2113
01:14:21,500 --> 01:14:22,000
then

2114
01:14:22,755 --> 01:14:23,414
he was

2115
01:14:24,034 --> 01:14:26,274
with one friend when as a thing was

2116
01:14:26,274 --> 01:14:26,774
happening,

2117
01:14:27,314 --> 01:14:28,774
and he was helping

2118
01:14:30,195 --> 01:14:31,574
her navigate that.

2119
01:14:32,515 --> 01:14:34,935
And then some of the the drama of

2120
01:14:35,340 --> 01:14:37,680
18, 19, and 20 year olds afterwards.

2121
01:14:38,220 --> 01:14:39,820
I've learned way more than I needed to

2122
01:14:39,820 --> 01:14:41,420
know about people I will never lay eyes

2123
01:14:41,420 --> 01:14:41,920
on.

2124
01:14:42,460 --> 01:14:43,840
But he has carried that

2125
01:14:44,300 --> 01:14:46,380
forward into his adult life, and he's more

2126
01:14:46,380 --> 01:14:47,114
of a fierce

2127
01:14:47,675 --> 01:14:48,735
protector advocate.

2128
01:14:49,435 --> 01:14:52,235
You know? He's like, he will tell me

2129
01:14:52,235 --> 01:14:54,574
things. It's so wild. It is so wild.

2130
01:14:54,795 --> 01:14:57,775
I know how, air quote, typical guys

2131
01:14:58,635 --> 01:15:01,034
reacted when I was the sage to to

2132
01:15:01,034 --> 01:15:03,569
rejection, to this, to that. I think anybody

2133
01:15:03,569 --> 01:15:04,630
of any age

2134
01:15:05,329 --> 01:15:06,469
who, you know,

2135
01:15:07,250 --> 01:15:08,310
feminine appearing,

2136
01:15:09,329 --> 01:15:11,349
cis female, just lives

2137
01:15:12,130 --> 01:15:14,369
life as a woman in some way or

2138
01:15:14,369 --> 01:15:16,034
just appears to be a woman

2139
01:15:16,734 --> 01:15:18,354
in any way. What is that?

2140
01:15:18,814 --> 01:15:20,014
Oh my god. I can't think of my

2141
01:15:20,014 --> 01:15:20,514
terms.

2142
01:15:20,894 --> 01:15:23,295
Assigned female at birth and socialized as female.

2143
01:15:23,295 --> 01:15:23,795
Right?

2144
01:15:25,774 --> 01:15:26,755
There's a reaction

2145
01:15:27,375 --> 01:15:28,354
you get from

2146
01:15:28,960 --> 01:15:31,439
from guys when they're getting rejected and it's

2147
01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:32,180
not good.

2148
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:34,880
And my oldest will talk me through how

2149
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:37,039
he's feeling when he's like, yeah. You know,

2150
01:15:37,039 --> 01:15:38,479
she said no. And I had to go,

2151
01:15:38,479 --> 01:15:40,159
okay. You know, just try to be cool

2152
01:15:40,159 --> 01:15:41,694
and not, like, you know, be weird. I'm

2153
01:15:41,694 --> 01:15:43,375
not trying to, like, freak anybody out. I'm

2154
01:15:43,375 --> 01:15:45,614
just whatever. It happens. And the way he

2155
01:15:45,614 --> 01:15:47,135
talks about rejection, I love it because he's

2156
01:15:47,135 --> 01:15:48,114
like, it happens.

2157
01:15:49,055 --> 01:15:51,135
You know? And he's gone through heartbreak, and

2158
01:15:51,135 --> 01:15:52,255
I've been on the phone with him while

2159
01:15:52,255 --> 01:15:54,414
his heart is breaking. Yeah. But he doesn't

2160
01:15:54,574 --> 01:15:56,015
you know? And, again, I don't know how

2161
01:15:56,015 --> 01:15:57,280
much of it is our influence and how

2162
01:15:57,280 --> 01:15:58,800
much of it was just we had him

2163
01:15:58,800 --> 01:16:00,000
in the right environment and he had a

2164
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:01,680
good set of friends and, you know, it's

2165
01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:03,619
the twenty first century, and so some information

2166
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:06,000
is just more and different than we woulda

2167
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:07,220
had when we were kids.

2168
01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:11,475
But, like, I'm very proud of him as

2169
01:16:11,475 --> 01:16:14,034
a human to begin with, but I feel

2170
01:16:14,034 --> 01:16:15,395
like I can see the fruits of our

2171
01:16:15,395 --> 01:16:17,234
labor of sitting through all of those very

2172
01:16:17,234 --> 01:16:18,454
uncomfortable conversations.

2173
01:16:19,635 --> 01:16:21,175
Oh my god. There's uncomfortable

2174
01:16:21,795 --> 01:16:22,295
conversations.

2175
01:16:23,314 --> 01:16:25,289
Now we'll say once that child turned 18,

2176
01:16:25,369 --> 01:16:27,289
I did not run out and tell him

2177
01:16:27,289 --> 01:16:29,530
stuff. No. And I wanna have those uncomfortable

2178
01:16:29,530 --> 01:16:30,030
conversations,

2179
01:16:30,649 --> 01:16:32,430
but I would not,

2180
01:16:33,689 --> 01:16:35,770
You you held back a lot less. Oh,

2181
01:16:35,770 --> 01:16:37,850
yeah. Don't ask me a question and think

2182
01:16:37,850 --> 01:16:39,609
you're gonna shock your mom. I'm a shock

2183
01:16:39,609 --> 01:16:40,810
the shit out of you and give you

2184
01:16:40,810 --> 01:16:41,265
the real

2185
01:16:41,824 --> 01:16:43,925
answer. The youngest is different.

2186
01:16:44,784 --> 01:16:45,524
The youngest

2187
01:16:46,704 --> 01:16:48,145
got a lot of that education at a

2188
01:16:48,145 --> 01:16:51,185
very young age because they were just there

2189
01:16:51,185 --> 01:16:52,885
while their big brother was there.

2190
01:16:53,664 --> 01:16:55,604
These days we have to approach it differently

2191
01:16:56,149 --> 01:16:58,149
with the youngest. The youngest is not gonna

2192
01:16:58,149 --> 01:16:59,529
come ask a bunch of questions.

2193
01:16:59,909 --> 01:17:01,929
The youngest is not super curious.

2194
01:17:05,590 --> 01:17:06,090
So

2195
01:17:06,710 --> 01:17:08,649
to get them more

2196
01:17:09,029 --> 01:17:10,010
open to

2197
01:17:10,869 --> 01:17:11,369
let's

2198
01:17:11,985 --> 01:17:13,824
talk about these things so that you can

2199
01:17:13,824 --> 01:17:15,524
know what these things are and we can

2200
01:17:15,905 --> 01:17:18,725
I can raise a second sex positive educated

2201
01:17:19,104 --> 01:17:19,604
child,

2202
01:17:19,985 --> 01:17:21,905
we would drive down the road and play

2203
01:17:21,905 --> 01:17:22,645
word games?

2204
01:17:23,585 --> 01:17:25,265
What's the p word? And I'd have to

2205
01:17:25,265 --> 01:17:26,710
think of as many words as I could

2206
01:17:26,710 --> 01:17:27,909
and then it would be okay. Well, what

2207
01:17:27,909 --> 01:17:29,609
is that? And then next thing you know,

2208
01:17:29,909 --> 01:17:31,289
I'm like, you know,

2209
01:17:31,989 --> 01:17:33,909
driving down there going all the p words

2210
01:17:33,909 --> 01:17:35,510
and like a lot of words are coming

2211
01:17:35,510 --> 01:17:36,789
out of my mouth. And I'm like, what

2212
01:17:36,789 --> 01:17:38,149
do you think that word is? That's a

2213
01:17:38,149 --> 01:17:39,829
thing I learned as a parent. Instead of

2214
01:17:39,829 --> 01:17:40,569
just automatically

2215
01:17:41,844 --> 01:17:43,604
telling them something or thinking I know they

2216
01:17:43,685 --> 01:17:44,965
that they understand the term, I go, what

2217
01:17:44,965 --> 01:17:47,125
do you think that term means? Get yourself

2218
01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:48,824
out of a lot of trouble that way.

2219
01:17:48,965 --> 01:17:49,465
Because

2220
01:17:50,484 --> 01:17:51,844
the oldest one day, I've I've told this

2221
01:17:51,844 --> 01:17:53,204
story before, I came home and asked about

2222
01:17:53,204 --> 01:17:54,645
the p word and was whispering it and

2223
01:17:54,645 --> 01:17:56,000
didn't run. I'm thinking, oh, there's a lot

2224
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:57,680
of p words. Which p word? And then

2225
01:17:57,680 --> 01:17:58,960
it was porn. And I was like, oh,

2226
01:17:58,960 --> 01:18:00,159
baby. You could I wouldn't have liked it,

2227
01:18:00,159 --> 01:18:01,619
but you could've said that word.

2228
01:18:03,119 --> 01:18:04,960
So, yeah, you gotta you gotta ask, what

2229
01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:05,859
do you mean?

2230
01:18:08,975 --> 01:18:09,795
That child,

2231
01:18:10,095 --> 01:18:10,835
the youngest,

2232
01:18:13,375 --> 01:18:15,074
is very aware of consent,

2233
01:18:17,454 --> 01:18:19,234
very aware of predators online,

2234
01:18:20,255 --> 01:18:21,859
not necessarily in a great way, but is

2235
01:18:21,859 --> 01:18:24,260
aware of them, and is able to because

2236
01:18:24,260 --> 01:18:26,840
we have kept the lines of communication open,

2237
01:18:27,060 --> 01:18:29,060
will come will be very honest with us

2238
01:18:29,060 --> 01:18:30,920
about who they are as a person,

2239
01:18:31,619 --> 01:18:33,960
both in terms of identity and sexuality.

2240
01:18:35,945 --> 01:18:37,704
They just don't give me quite as many

2241
01:18:37,704 --> 01:18:39,085
opportunities, easy opportunities

2242
01:18:39,864 --> 01:18:42,045
to talk about those things with them, but

2243
01:18:42,345 --> 01:18:43,784
they got a lot of it when they

2244
01:18:43,784 --> 01:18:46,244
were young and now it's more of a

2245
01:18:46,265 --> 01:18:48,265
a touching base and going, hey, let's talk

2246
01:18:48,265 --> 01:18:49,140
about this thing.

2247
01:18:49,619 --> 01:18:52,340
Hey. And they like to crack jokes, inappropriate

2248
01:18:52,340 --> 01:18:54,659
jokes at the dinner table. They still have

2249
01:18:54,659 --> 01:18:56,340
not learned that that is I just see

2250
01:18:56,340 --> 01:18:58,020
that as an opportunity. Well, now we have

2251
01:18:58,020 --> 01:18:59,860
to talk about sex and king in an

2252
01:18:59,860 --> 01:19:01,159
age appropriate way.

2253
01:19:02,979 --> 01:19:05,145
The oldest figured that shit out real fucking

2254
01:19:05,145 --> 01:19:06,764
quick. Yeah. He did.

2255
01:19:07,545 --> 01:19:09,385
The youngest is like, I'm gonna make a

2256
01:19:09,385 --> 01:19:11,224
penis joke at dinner. And I'm like, oh,

2257
01:19:11,224 --> 01:19:12,604
okay. That's my opening.

2258
01:19:15,145 --> 01:19:15,645
But

2259
01:19:16,344 --> 01:19:17,244
yeah. So

2260
01:19:18,264 --> 01:19:19,550
I I think

2261
01:19:21,050 --> 01:19:23,090
I think the oldest they're, you know, they're

2262
01:19:23,090 --> 01:19:25,689
a baby adult. 20 is so fucking young.

2263
01:19:25,689 --> 01:19:26,890
Oh, if you're a 20 year old out

2264
01:19:26,890 --> 01:19:29,050
there, I'm so glad you're here. You are

2265
01:19:29,050 --> 01:19:31,369
an adult, but but you're so young. There's

2266
01:19:31,369 --> 01:19:33,789
so much ahead of you, hopefully. Fingers crossed.

2267
01:19:34,975 --> 01:19:35,475
And

2268
01:19:37,055 --> 01:19:38,574
just like I've learned with you, I can't

2269
01:19:38,574 --> 01:19:40,755
fix everything. I can't make everything better. Mhmm.

2270
01:19:40,814 --> 01:19:41,555
I am

2271
01:19:42,414 --> 01:19:44,435
that skill is transferring to the kids.

2272
01:19:44,814 --> 01:19:46,494
I can't fix their problems. I never could

2273
01:19:46,494 --> 01:19:48,335
fix their problems. Their problems were beyond me.

2274
01:19:48,335 --> 01:19:50,600
I was like, I am probably

2275
01:19:51,220 --> 01:19:53,479
too anxious or too neurospicy

2276
01:19:53,780 --> 01:19:55,220
for whatever that is. I don't

2277
01:19:57,060 --> 01:19:57,560
but,

2278
01:19:59,460 --> 01:20:00,899
yeah, I feel like when I do the

2279
01:20:00,899 --> 01:20:03,555
update of raising these sex positive kink friendly

2280
01:20:03,555 --> 01:20:05,555
kids, I feel like the oldest check that

2281
01:20:05,555 --> 01:20:06,454
one. Just

2282
01:20:07,475 --> 01:20:10,114
Oh, yeah. The youngest has got they're going

2283
01:20:10,114 --> 01:20:12,435
through stuff. They're doing shit they shouldn't do,

2284
01:20:12,435 --> 01:20:13,574
and we're having to

2285
01:20:14,755 --> 01:20:16,454
respond accordingly. Yeah.

2286
01:20:18,329 --> 01:20:20,170
The quiet one. You'd think the quiet one

2287
01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:21,530
would just be the quiet the quiet one

2288
01:20:21,530 --> 01:20:23,789
is keeping us on our fucking toes. Okay?

2289
01:20:24,649 --> 01:20:26,890
Yeah. You gotta watch the quiet ones. You

2290
01:20:26,890 --> 01:20:28,430
do have to watch the quiet ones.

2291
01:20:29,770 --> 01:20:31,609
But, yeah, we're we're 50% of the way

2292
01:20:31,609 --> 01:20:32,724
there. And

2293
01:20:33,104 --> 01:20:33,604
Yeah.

2294
01:20:34,944 --> 01:20:36,244
So yeah. Mhmm.

2295
01:20:37,264 --> 01:20:37,664
But,

2296
01:20:38,545 --> 01:20:39,844
so those are our updates.

2297
01:20:41,744 --> 01:20:44,145
Mhmm. A lot has changed and yet not

2298
01:20:44,304 --> 01:20:46,304
I don't think in drastic ways. Not drastic.

2299
01:20:46,304 --> 01:20:49,380
Yeah. Slightly larger changes. Most of it's subtleties.

2300
01:20:49,599 --> 01:20:51,219
It's shifts. It's

2301
01:20:51,920 --> 01:20:54,659
we've learned how to handle things better.

2302
01:20:55,119 --> 01:20:57,279
So or we've learned what things are that

2303
01:20:57,279 --> 01:20:59,619
we didn't have names for before. Or

2304
01:21:00,399 --> 01:21:01,059
we did

2305
01:21:04,324 --> 01:21:05,704
we survived, like,

2306
01:21:06,564 --> 01:21:08,104
crazy shit together,

2307
01:21:09,045 --> 01:21:11,704
kind of were forged in fire together.

2308
01:21:13,604 --> 01:21:15,465
That's a good way to put it. Thankfully,

2309
01:21:15,685 --> 01:21:16,840
came out have come out on the other

2310
01:21:16,840 --> 01:21:18,439
side stronger for it. You know, that's not

2311
01:21:18,439 --> 01:21:20,680
always the case. It really you know, we

2312
01:21:20,680 --> 01:21:21,819
know that. I know that.

2313
01:21:23,159 --> 01:21:24,600
But, yeah, I thought, you know, I'm not

2314
01:21:24,600 --> 01:21:27,560
gonna do an not in the next couple

2315
01:21:27,560 --> 01:21:29,735
years, another aging in kink

2316
01:21:30,114 --> 01:21:32,354
conversation, not unless there's something new to to

2317
01:21:32,354 --> 01:21:32,854
say.

2318
01:21:33,715 --> 01:21:35,235
I don't really feel like I should do

2319
01:21:35,235 --> 01:21:36,994
a whole episode on, let me tell you

2320
01:21:36,994 --> 01:21:38,435
about my sex life now that I want

2321
01:21:38,435 --> 01:21:40,034
sex again. Like, I don't I don't see

2322
01:21:40,034 --> 01:21:42,055
me doing that, not anytime soon.

2323
01:21:42,435 --> 01:21:43,814
So, yeah, these are just

2324
01:21:45,350 --> 01:21:46,949
after ten years, and we didn't we only

2325
01:21:46,949 --> 01:21:49,270
went back to 2018. After ten years, we

2326
01:21:49,270 --> 01:21:51,270
talked about a lot of shit. And anybody

2327
01:21:51,270 --> 01:21:51,770
who's

2328
01:21:52,470 --> 01:21:54,470
listened from the very beginning, whether you're an

2329
01:21:54,470 --> 01:21:56,005
OG or you just went back to the

2330
01:21:56,005 --> 01:21:56,505
catalog,

2331
01:21:56,885 --> 01:21:58,824
good lord, I'm I'm impressed.

2332
01:21:59,445 --> 01:22:02,405
You can hear it. Like, things have shifted.

2333
01:22:02,405 --> 01:22:04,485
We talk about things differently. Hopefully, we talk

2334
01:22:04,485 --> 01:22:06,244
about them better than we did before. I

2335
01:22:06,485 --> 01:22:07,864
god help me still stumble.

2336
01:22:09,525 --> 01:22:10,025
But

2337
01:22:11,739 --> 01:22:13,739
I think there's a core of we are

2338
01:22:13,739 --> 01:22:15,280
who we are, but also

2339
01:22:16,140 --> 01:22:18,380
you grow, you learn. Ideally, you do that

2340
01:22:18,380 --> 01:22:18,880
together.

2341
01:22:20,539 --> 01:22:22,460
You do things differently. Things you would wouldn't

2342
01:22:22,460 --> 01:22:23,739
have worked in 2014,

2343
01:22:23,739 --> 01:22:25,185
we do in 2025

2344
01:22:25,345 --> 01:22:27,024
because they work now, because they have to

2345
01:22:27,024 --> 01:22:29,024
work. Mhmm. Or because we've hit a a

2346
01:22:29,024 --> 01:22:30,645
point in our life, I think, or

2347
01:22:31,024 --> 01:22:33,345
age or time in the relationship or something

2348
01:22:33,345 --> 01:22:34,645
or just life experiences

2349
01:22:35,185 --> 01:22:37,345
where we're like, I just don't have fucking

2350
01:22:37,345 --> 01:22:39,789
time for whatever that was. Then we gotta

2351
01:22:39,789 --> 01:22:41,570
do it this way because this is what

2352
01:22:41,630 --> 01:22:43,150
gets you through the day and we can

2353
01:22:43,150 --> 01:22:45,010
move on and do something else, you know.

2354
01:22:46,989 --> 01:22:49,150
I don't think we've compromised our power exchange

2355
01:22:49,150 --> 01:22:50,984
for that. I don't think we've compromised

2356
01:22:53,545 --> 01:22:55,864
just compromised on things that probably used to

2357
01:22:55,864 --> 01:22:57,625
feel super, super important, and this is how

2358
01:22:57,625 --> 01:22:59,145
it needs to be done for us. And

2359
01:22:59,145 --> 01:23:00,984
now we're like, nah. Nah. I ain't got

2360
01:23:00,984 --> 01:23:01,804
time for that.

2361
01:23:02,425 --> 01:23:02,925
So,

2362
01:23:06,344 --> 01:23:07,789
yeah, that's our update.

2363
01:23:08,729 --> 01:23:10,829
We can do a bonus section. Okay.

2364
01:23:13,210 --> 01:23:13,710
So,

2365
01:23:14,810 --> 01:23:15,710
are we good?

2366
01:23:16,170 --> 01:23:18,430
I have no idea. I have no idea.

2367
01:23:20,364 --> 01:23:22,925
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll hopefully see

2368
01:23:22,925 --> 01:23:24,784
you on Friday and the next week.

2369
01:23:34,400 --> 01:23:36,560
Daddy. Yes, please. I know you're still trying

2370
01:23:36,560 --> 01:23:38,000
to hit buttons and make them do what

2371
01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:39,140
you want them to do.

2372
01:23:39,920 --> 01:23:42,880
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I know. I was sitting

2373
01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:44,320
in silence, but there comes a point where

2374
01:23:44,320 --> 01:23:46,185
even the podcast listeners are like, did something

2375
01:23:46,185 --> 01:23:47,324
cut out on the audio?

2376
01:23:48,345 --> 01:23:49,244
Yeah. I know.

2377
01:23:49,625 --> 01:23:51,305
So can we talk to the crickets? Go

2378
01:23:51,305 --> 01:23:51,805
ahead.

2379
01:23:52,425 --> 01:23:54,045
We're here. Mhmm.

2380
01:23:57,225 --> 01:23:59,850
Tomorrow, day after recording, day before the podcast

2381
01:23:59,930 --> 01:24:01,789
episode comes out audio only,

2382
01:24:02,729 --> 01:24:04,109
is the 20 year old's

2383
01:24:04,570 --> 01:24:07,770
first concert of the semester Mhmm. And we

2384
01:24:07,770 --> 01:24:09,070
hit the ground running.

2385
01:24:09,930 --> 01:24:12,890
And there's one this week. There's one next

2386
01:24:12,890 --> 01:24:15,465
week. I have to confirm that because I

2387
01:24:15,465 --> 01:24:17,704
was like, oh, man. It is it. I

2388
01:24:17,704 --> 01:24:19,625
don't know. They don't usually do on this

2389
01:24:19,625 --> 01:24:21,784
soon in that particular group. And then there's

2390
01:24:21,784 --> 01:24:23,625
one I think either the next week or

2391
01:24:23,625 --> 01:24:25,385
the week after, and then there's two in

2392
01:24:25,385 --> 01:24:26,764
the same week in October.

2393
01:24:27,510 --> 01:24:29,449
I don't see us doing both of them.

2394
01:24:29,750 --> 01:24:31,369
No. I just don't see it happening.

2395
01:24:32,630 --> 01:24:33,769
And the

2396
01:24:34,069 --> 01:24:34,889
the oldest

2397
01:24:35,829 --> 01:24:36,329
upgraded

2398
01:24:36,869 --> 01:24:39,109
his band instrument with the help of his

2399
01:24:39,109 --> 01:24:41,835
grandmother. Mhmm. And then I'd have an adult

2400
01:24:41,835 --> 01:24:43,194
conversation if we do not just call our

2401
01:24:43,194 --> 01:24:44,875
grandmother when we want something from her. You

2402
01:24:44,875 --> 01:24:46,395
have to have a relationship with her on

2403
01:24:46,395 --> 01:24:48,555
some level. If you love you know, you

2404
01:24:48,555 --> 01:24:50,234
love her, you like her, she's not a

2405
01:24:50,234 --> 01:24:52,395
bad person, and also you want her help

2406
01:24:52,395 --> 01:24:52,895
financially,

2407
01:24:53,354 --> 01:24:54,710
that should not be the only time she

2408
01:24:54,710 --> 01:24:56,489
hears from you. Mhmm. Like

2409
01:24:57,270 --> 01:24:59,590
Yeah. Be a good grandkid. She don't expect

2410
01:24:59,590 --> 01:25:01,350
your attention all the time. You're a busy

2411
01:25:01,350 --> 01:25:03,510
kid. She gets it, but, like, just be

2412
01:25:03,510 --> 01:25:06,409
mindful. But he's having she's there. Right.

2413
01:25:07,685 --> 01:25:10,484
Don't leave her on red. Okay? Just fucking

2414
01:25:10,484 --> 01:25:12,005
say good morning back every once in a

2415
01:25:12,005 --> 01:25:12,505
while.

2416
01:25:13,444 --> 01:25:16,484
But that giganto instrument is coming to our

2417
01:25:16,484 --> 01:25:20,005
house. Yeah. And I am praying that it

2418
01:25:20,005 --> 01:25:22,229
does not come when it's supposed to, and

2419
01:25:22,229 --> 01:25:23,989
we don't have to haul it on the

2420
01:25:23,989 --> 01:25:26,149
same night. We're having to do a concert,

2421
01:25:26,149 --> 01:25:27,829
which makes us very tired the next day

2422
01:25:27,829 --> 01:25:29,510
because it's late at night because we're old

2423
01:25:29,510 --> 01:25:30,010
people.

2424
01:25:30,469 --> 01:25:32,389
And we do we don't we don't stay

2425
01:25:32,389 --> 01:25:35,130
up late like we used to could.

2426
01:25:37,195 --> 01:25:38,954
But I do know that that means if

2427
01:25:38,954 --> 01:25:41,435
we can't give it to him the day

2428
01:25:41,435 --> 01:25:43,275
of that we're gonna be there, then I

2429
01:25:43,275 --> 01:25:44,875
have to make a trip back over the

2430
01:25:44,875 --> 01:25:46,635
weekend, and I kinda don't wanna do that

2431
01:25:46,635 --> 01:25:47,135
either.

2432
01:25:49,914 --> 01:25:50,189
Yeah.

2433
01:25:51,229 --> 01:25:53,149
But, yeah, we get to go see like,

2434
01:25:53,149 --> 01:25:55,710
look. We can't hear the child. He's part

2435
01:25:55,710 --> 01:25:57,969
of a group of, like, a 100. Okay?

2436
01:25:58,189 --> 01:26:00,350
I can usually, if I'm lucky, see the

2437
01:26:00,350 --> 01:26:02,670
top of his fucking head, but that's about

2438
01:26:02,670 --> 01:26:03,170
it.

2439
01:26:03,710 --> 01:26:04,770
But just just

2440
01:26:05,095 --> 01:26:06,155
I like to be there.

2441
01:26:06,694 --> 01:26:07,994
We live so close,

2442
01:26:08,854 --> 01:26:10,375
and this is my only chance to be

2443
01:26:10,375 --> 01:26:12,215
a band parent anymore. And I fucking love

2444
01:26:12,215 --> 01:26:15,194
it. Love it. Love it. But it

2445
01:26:15,494 --> 01:26:17,859
we're old and tired. And because it's college

2446
01:26:17,859 --> 01:26:19,859
students, they're gonna perform, like, at night. This

2447
01:26:19,859 --> 01:26:20,520
is not

2448
01:26:20,979 --> 01:26:22,899
middle school band. They'll perform at, like, 04:00

2449
01:26:22,899 --> 01:26:24,180
in the afternoon. No. No. You go in

2450
01:26:24,180 --> 01:26:25,699
at night, it's gonna be dark when you

2451
01:26:25,699 --> 01:26:27,539
get there probably and definitely dark when you

2452
01:26:27,539 --> 01:26:28,520
leave. Yeah.

2453
01:26:31,435 --> 01:26:33,454
So, yeah, that's what we're doing this week.

2454
01:26:36,235 --> 01:26:37,755
What else have you got? Did I get

2455
01:26:37,835 --> 01:26:39,034
oh, I got the thing that was flying

2456
01:26:39,034 --> 01:26:39,534
around.

2457
01:26:39,914 --> 01:26:42,155
Sorry for that tap. That would've messed with

2458
01:26:42,155 --> 01:26:44,569
anybody's ears. I mean, me, really, I've I've

2459
01:26:44,569 --> 01:26:47,050
basically just been working a lot. Mhmm. You

2460
01:26:47,050 --> 01:26:47,369
know?

2461
01:26:48,810 --> 01:26:49,310
Between

2462
01:26:49,770 --> 01:26:50,969
thekinkery.com

2463
01:26:50,969 --> 01:26:51,469
and

2464
01:26:52,170 --> 01:26:53,710
thekinkery.com.

2465
01:26:54,010 --> 01:26:55,310
You gotta say it right, daddy.

2466
01:26:55,689 --> 01:26:57,369
Just saying. Nobody can say it like you

2467
01:26:57,369 --> 01:26:57,824
do.

2468
01:26:58,225 --> 01:27:00,085
I gotta have something, you know.

2469
01:27:00,784 --> 01:27:02,485
Gotta have something that makes me special.

2470
01:27:03,104 --> 01:27:04,545
You know, I've been doing a lot of,

2471
01:27:04,864 --> 01:27:07,364
wood dump stuff too in between. You have.

2472
01:27:07,505 --> 01:27:08,565
Mhmm. Assuming,

2473
01:27:09,025 --> 01:27:11,045
we still have camera ability

2474
01:27:12,409 --> 01:27:14,829
like we do today. Oh, lord. I'm sorry.

2475
01:27:15,369 --> 01:27:16,750
The visual is not great.

2476
01:27:17,609 --> 01:27:18,970
Maybe we could do a show and tell.

2477
01:27:18,970 --> 01:27:21,770
Yeah. What what you've been actively working on,

2478
01:27:21,770 --> 01:27:23,770
like, the majority the bulk of your time

2479
01:27:23,770 --> 01:27:25,064
this week is,

2480
01:27:25,465 --> 01:27:28,125
diabolical sticks for the kinkery at thekinkery.com.

2481
01:27:28,185 --> 01:27:28,685
Diabolical's

2482
01:27:29,064 --> 01:27:30,125
evils and

2483
01:27:30,585 --> 01:27:31,484
mini delrin's.

2484
01:27:32,904 --> 01:27:36,444
But the diabolical Turn. Turn. Turn. Halloween diabolical.

2485
01:27:36,744 --> 01:27:37,739
Yeah. And we have

2486
01:27:38,220 --> 01:27:40,539
a new style coming that I did in

2487
01:27:40,539 --> 01:27:41,760
two separate colorways

2488
01:27:42,780 --> 01:27:44,480
that looks so fucking cool.

2489
01:27:46,380 --> 01:27:46,880
And

2490
01:27:47,340 --> 01:27:49,340
yeah. Like, the first year we did Halloween

2491
01:27:49,340 --> 01:27:51,020
diabolical, we didn't get them out till, like,

2492
01:27:51,020 --> 01:27:52,664
mid October, which is not when you're supposed

2493
01:27:52,664 --> 01:27:54,024
to put your Halloween stuff out, by the

2494
01:27:54,024 --> 01:27:55,704
way, if you didn't know. But we were,

2495
01:27:55,704 --> 01:27:57,224
like, oh, we're gonna do this, and then

2496
01:27:57,224 --> 01:27:59,304
we did not plan well. Then last year,

2497
01:27:59,304 --> 01:28:01,304
we planned really well, and, like, on September

2498
01:28:01,304 --> 01:28:03,625
1 or Labor Day or something. Yeah. We

2499
01:28:03,625 --> 01:28:05,789
had them all out. And even the Christmas

2500
01:28:05,789 --> 01:28:07,789
ones were We're coming. Like, we're almost done.

2501
01:28:07,789 --> 01:28:09,469
I know. I haven't even poured the Christmas

2502
01:28:09,469 --> 01:28:11,569
and the and not even just Christmas, winter

2503
01:28:12,029 --> 01:28:14,369
holiday dye box. I haven't poured those yet.

2504
01:28:15,469 --> 01:28:16,210
And now

2505
01:28:16,909 --> 01:28:19,409
we're mid to, like, late

2506
01:28:19,774 --> 01:28:21,135
September. We're getting in and we're like, we're

2507
01:28:21,135 --> 01:28:21,774
gonna have them.

2508
01:28:23,375 --> 01:28:25,954
And we've done something we've done something well

2509
01:28:26,014 --> 01:28:28,654
because I'm getting people reaching out on, like,

2510
01:28:28,654 --> 01:28:30,734
Instagram going, are these coming back? Are these

2511
01:28:30,734 --> 01:28:31,554
coming back?

2512
01:28:32,335 --> 01:28:33,074
They are.

2513
01:28:33,375 --> 01:28:34,354
Yes. They are.

2514
01:28:36,119 --> 01:28:36,619
So,

2515
01:28:37,320 --> 01:28:38,060
but it's

2516
01:28:38,439 --> 01:28:39,960
it's one of the things I feel I

2517
01:28:39,960 --> 01:28:41,239
don't feel guilty about it. I don't wanna

2518
01:28:41,239 --> 01:28:42,600
make it sound like I'm always walking around

2519
01:28:42,600 --> 01:28:43,100
feeling,

2520
01:28:43,479 --> 01:28:44,680
but I wish there was more I could

2521
01:28:44,680 --> 01:28:46,920
do because to do diabolicals, they're done in

2522
01:28:46,920 --> 01:28:49,654
kind of stages. We I poured the the

2523
01:28:49,654 --> 01:28:51,654
top the tip, the resin tip. If you're

2524
01:28:51,654 --> 01:28:53,335
not aware of what a diabolical stick is,

2525
01:28:53,335 --> 01:28:55,014
it's got a resin tip. It's got a

2526
01:28:55,014 --> 01:28:57,974
resin handle, and it's connected by carbon fiber

2527
01:28:57,974 --> 01:28:58,474
rod.

2528
01:28:59,255 --> 01:29:01,279
Resin tips, I can pour whenever, and I

2529
01:29:01,279 --> 01:29:03,279
do. I have we have buckets of tips

2530
01:29:03,279 --> 01:29:05,300
that are not Halloween that are waiting.

2531
01:29:06,319 --> 01:29:08,159
And JB wants to be in a position

2532
01:29:08,159 --> 01:29:10,000
where he just turns and we just have

2533
01:29:10,000 --> 01:29:12,020
them ready and we just put them together

2534
01:29:12,079 --> 01:29:14,420
as we need them. But to do that,

2535
01:29:14,479 --> 01:29:15,140
there is

2536
01:29:15,505 --> 01:29:17,585
the sheer amount of turning. I'm like, you've

2537
01:29:17,585 --> 01:29:19,845
got to be so sick and fucking tired

2538
01:29:20,305 --> 01:29:22,005
of turning at this point.

2539
01:29:22,465 --> 01:29:24,625
Yeah. Like, if I if my math is

2540
01:29:24,625 --> 01:29:25,125
correct,

2541
01:29:25,824 --> 01:29:29,079
you've turned between di balical sticks, evil sticks,

2542
01:29:29,079 --> 01:29:31,100
and the mini delrin canes.

2543
01:29:31,560 --> 01:29:34,840
You've turned 70 plus handles this week. Yeah.

2544
01:29:34,840 --> 01:29:36,380
This week alone. Mhmm.

2545
01:29:36,680 --> 01:29:38,539
Y'all that's a lot of fucking turning.

2546
01:29:39,399 --> 01:29:39,899
Tomorrow,

2547
01:29:40,199 --> 01:29:41,739
turn some more. Mhmm.

2548
01:29:42,085 --> 01:29:44,104
And then Friday, focus on

2549
01:29:45,045 --> 01:29:45,545
doing

2550
01:29:45,925 --> 01:29:47,224
the, finishing touches

2551
01:29:47,925 --> 01:29:50,585
on the handles and then start assembling everything.

2552
01:29:50,804 --> 01:29:52,965
Mhmm. And then, yeah, what you don't get

2553
01:29:52,965 --> 01:29:55,300
finished this week, probably be working on next

2554
01:29:55,300 --> 01:29:56,199
week. And Right.

2555
01:29:56,899 --> 01:29:58,279
Yeah. Yep. Yep. So

2556
01:29:58,739 --> 01:30:00,760
it's a nice problem to have.

2557
01:30:01,699 --> 01:30:03,699
It's just I don't like it that I

2558
01:30:03,699 --> 01:30:05,699
can't do more to help you. I wanna

2559
01:30:05,699 --> 01:30:07,215
do more. I know. I do what I

2560
01:30:07,215 --> 01:30:08,494
can, and what I do I know what

2561
01:30:08,494 --> 01:30:09,935
I do is enough. I'm doing other shit.

2562
01:30:09,935 --> 01:30:11,854
But I'm always I'm always over to go,

2563
01:30:11,854 --> 01:30:13,635
daddy, what can I do to help you?

2564
01:30:13,694 --> 01:30:16,514
You know, things things are are are thankfully

2565
01:30:17,295 --> 01:30:17,795
going

2566
01:30:18,255 --> 01:30:19,074
very well,

2567
01:30:20,199 --> 01:30:21,899
with with the business, and,

2568
01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:26,220
I'm actually considering looking into getting a second

2569
01:30:26,359 --> 01:30:26,859
bandsaw.

2570
01:30:27,320 --> 01:30:27,820
Mhmm.

2571
01:30:28,359 --> 01:30:28,859
Mhmm.

2572
01:30:29,479 --> 01:30:30,300
Yeah. You've

2573
01:30:30,760 --> 01:30:33,239
mostly out of necessity, you've you've upgraded a

2574
01:30:33,239 --> 01:30:34,484
couple of things. Yeah.

2575
01:30:36,005 --> 01:30:36,824
Yep. Yep.

2576
01:30:37,364 --> 01:30:39,524
But they they do the job, and then

2577
01:30:39,524 --> 01:30:40,885
we can do the job, and then Mhmm.

2578
01:30:40,965 --> 01:30:42,104
Life is good. Mhmm.

2579
01:30:42,645 --> 01:30:45,264
Yeah. The the new lathe is amazing. I

2580
01:30:45,284 --> 01:30:47,604
think that's why you have turned 70 plus

2581
01:30:47,604 --> 01:30:48,104
handles.

2582
01:30:48,564 --> 01:30:49,064
Yeah.

2583
01:30:49,479 --> 01:30:51,000
Yeah. This week alone. And that's on top

2584
01:30:51,000 --> 01:30:53,420
of doing other stuff, y'all. He's been Yes.

2585
01:30:53,479 --> 01:30:56,279
The Resin inlays, the handles, and all kinds

2586
01:30:56,279 --> 01:30:56,939
of stuff.

2587
01:30:57,880 --> 01:30:59,639
Yeah. And and like I say, I'm just

2588
01:30:59,639 --> 01:31:01,639
grateful that the weather has broke so I

2589
01:31:01,639 --> 01:31:03,639
can I know? Work like this.

2590
01:31:04,119 --> 01:31:05,099
You know, we're

2591
01:31:06,645 --> 01:31:09,925
we're we're experiencing Florida autumn, which is like

2592
01:31:09,925 --> 01:31:11,925
summer for most everybody. I know. Normal summer

2593
01:31:11,925 --> 01:31:13,604
for everybody. Is it a false fall, or

2594
01:31:13,604 --> 01:31:15,284
do you think we're really starting to maybe

2595
01:31:15,284 --> 01:31:16,664
get into it? Well, you know,

2596
01:31:17,125 --> 01:31:19,675
I I I thought it was false Mhmm.

2597
01:31:19,925 --> 01:31:22,520
But the the temperatures are have looking steady

2598
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:25,639
for the next Mhmm. Several weeks. And it's

2599
01:31:25,639 --> 01:31:28,679
very pleasant at six, seven, eight, 09:00 in

2600
01:31:28,679 --> 01:31:31,479
the morning to walk out the door into

2601
01:31:31,479 --> 01:31:33,000
the open air and not feel like you're

2602
01:31:33,000 --> 01:31:34,664
breathing through cotton. This morning It was so

2603
01:31:34,664 --> 01:31:37,885
delightful. This morning, it was 68 degrees Fahrenheit

2604
01:31:38,505 --> 01:31:41,145
and no humidity. Mhmm. It's that no humidity

2605
01:31:41,145 --> 01:31:41,965
thing. Yep.

2606
01:31:42,344 --> 01:31:43,324
Feels so good.

2607
01:31:44,264 --> 01:31:46,024
Yeah. I'm pouring I've been pouring a lot

2608
01:31:46,024 --> 01:31:48,380
of resin lately, and I'm not dripping with

2609
01:31:48,840 --> 01:31:51,020
sweat. Right? Yeah. It's delightful.

2610
01:31:51,479 --> 01:31:53,960
I actually work most of the morning without

2611
01:31:53,960 --> 01:31:55,880
even realizing it that I never turned the

2612
01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:57,819
little fan on. Mhmm. Mhmm.

2613
01:31:58,199 --> 01:31:58,699
Yeah.

2614
01:31:59,800 --> 01:32:00,300
So

2615
01:32:01,079 --> 01:32:01,960
Yeah. We're just

2616
01:32:03,244 --> 01:32:04,925
it's busy. This is we're coming into the

2617
01:32:04,925 --> 01:32:07,484
busy time of year for the Cancri, which,

2618
01:32:07,484 --> 01:32:09,984
again, is a wonderful problem to have. Mhmm.

2619
01:32:11,484 --> 01:32:12,625
But it it's

2620
01:32:13,324 --> 01:32:14,204
I think we're

2621
01:32:15,229 --> 01:32:16,829
I've I've said this a couple times, and

2622
01:32:16,829 --> 01:32:19,149
every year, you know, we get closer to

2623
01:32:19,149 --> 01:32:22,670
whatever our top limit is, our uppermost limit

2624
01:32:22,670 --> 01:32:24,989
of what we can produce and, you know,

2625
01:32:24,989 --> 01:32:26,369
still have a life to live.

2626
01:32:27,855 --> 01:32:30,034
It's hard though. The the,

2627
01:32:30,574 --> 01:32:32,675
urge to keep up with demand,

2628
01:32:33,614 --> 01:32:35,555
it's there, but, man, the

2629
01:32:36,335 --> 01:32:38,574
Jimmy would burn out so fucking quickly if

2630
01:32:38,574 --> 01:32:41,529
he tried to we did three restocks of

2631
01:32:41,529 --> 01:32:43,369
the Lego, but we legally have to call

2632
01:32:43,369 --> 01:32:45,389
them building brick diabolical sticks.

2633
01:32:46,010 --> 01:32:46,510
And

2634
01:32:47,050 --> 01:32:48,649
and they were gone. They were gone so

2635
01:32:48,649 --> 01:32:50,489
fast. People were so mad at me. I

2636
01:32:50,489 --> 01:32:52,889
got so many messages. I was like, I'm

2637
01:32:52,889 --> 01:32:55,364
sorry. It was the third restock, and they're

2638
01:32:55,364 --> 01:32:57,524
gone again. Yeah. I mean, I did a

2639
01:32:57,524 --> 01:33:00,505
restock for the Labor Day sale. Mhmm.

2640
01:33:01,844 --> 01:33:03,685
Then I did a that sold out, and

2641
01:33:03,685 --> 01:33:05,604
then there's You actually did a restock prior

2642
01:33:05,604 --> 01:33:07,045
to the Labor Day sale. That's right. They

2643
01:33:07,045 --> 01:33:08,689
were gone. You did a restock for the

2644
01:33:08,689 --> 01:33:10,949
Labor Day sale. Mhmm. They were gone about

2645
01:33:11,250 --> 01:33:12,530
less than a week later. While the Labor

2646
01:33:12,530 --> 01:33:14,449
Day sale was still going on, you did

2647
01:33:14,449 --> 01:33:16,070
a third restock. They were gone.

2648
01:33:16,530 --> 01:33:18,949
And and that and that's why this time,

2649
01:33:19,329 --> 01:33:21,170
I was like, no. I'm not thinking I'm

2650
01:33:21,170 --> 01:33:22,944
not gonna do a quick restock. I'm just

2651
01:33:22,944 --> 01:33:24,704
gonna buckle down, and I'm just gonna this

2652
01:33:24,704 --> 01:33:26,625
is I'm focusing on this. Mhmm. And I'm

2653
01:33:26,625 --> 01:33:28,385
just gonna turn my ass and turn, turn,

2654
01:33:28,385 --> 01:33:30,944
turn. You're gonna turn your ass, That sounds

2655
01:33:30,944 --> 01:33:31,444
kinky.

2656
01:33:32,064 --> 01:33:34,545
Look, I know you'd you've got some toy

2657
01:33:34,545 --> 01:33:37,239
up under your shorts when you're working. It's

2658
01:33:37,880 --> 01:33:39,479
I mean, so if you're gonna turn your

2659
01:33:39,479 --> 01:33:42,039
ass around, I'll or turn your ass off.

2660
01:33:42,039 --> 01:33:44,199
Turn your ass. Whatever you're doing with your

2661
01:33:44,199 --> 01:33:46,380
ass. Yeah. Oh, you know. I'm Yeah.

2662
01:33:46,840 --> 01:33:48,859
I'm here for it. I'm here for it.

2663
01:33:51,399 --> 01:33:53,694
No. But, yeah, that's that's the thing with

2664
01:33:53,694 --> 01:33:56,494
the, looking at the the next another band

2665
01:33:56,494 --> 01:33:57,534
saw right now. The,

2666
01:33:58,734 --> 01:34:00,494
the big one I've got set up, I

2667
01:34:00,494 --> 01:34:01,795
do what they call resawing

2668
01:34:02,895 --> 01:34:04,895
on that. It's a very it's a big

2669
01:34:04,895 --> 01:34:05,395
blade.

2670
01:34:05,774 --> 01:34:06,914
And, basically,

2671
01:34:09,239 --> 01:34:10,139
take a board

2672
01:34:10,679 --> 01:34:13,079
instead of cutting it, like, this way Like

2673
01:34:13,079 --> 01:34:15,800
in half. Cutting it. So you cut along

2674
01:34:15,800 --> 01:34:16,300
the

2675
01:34:16,760 --> 01:34:19,079
The grain. The grain. So let's say it's

2676
01:34:19,079 --> 01:34:21,255
an inch thick piece of wood. I'm just

2677
01:34:21,255 --> 01:34:23,015
throwing out easy numbers. I can cut that

2678
01:34:23,015 --> 01:34:24,875
in half and have two half inch pieces.

2679
01:34:24,935 --> 01:34:27,494
Exactly. Right. So So that that's what the

2680
01:34:27,494 --> 01:34:28,475
resaw means.

2681
01:34:28,854 --> 01:34:29,255
But,

2682
01:34:30,534 --> 01:34:31,354
I've also

2683
01:34:31,735 --> 01:34:33,595
been having need for a a,

2684
01:34:35,039 --> 01:34:36,880
like, a one eighth inch blade where it

2685
01:34:36,880 --> 01:34:37,699
can do

2686
01:34:38,479 --> 01:34:38,979
tight

2687
01:34:40,159 --> 01:34:41,140
bandsaw work.

2688
01:34:41,520 --> 01:34:42,020
And,

2689
01:34:43,760 --> 01:34:46,500
yeah, that's that's kinda where I'm at. And,

2690
01:34:46,560 --> 01:34:47,220
you know,

2691
01:34:48,655 --> 01:34:50,735
that's my goal before the end of the

2692
01:34:50,735 --> 01:34:51,235
year.

2693
01:34:52,255 --> 01:34:52,755
Yeah.

2694
01:34:53,295 --> 01:34:53,695
We're

2695
01:34:55,055 --> 01:34:56,034
fingers crossed.

2696
01:34:57,534 --> 01:34:58,595
We're working towards

2697
01:35:00,015 --> 01:35:00,595
it. Yeah.

2698
01:35:00,975 --> 01:35:01,475
We've

2699
01:35:03,500 --> 01:35:05,320
I I have realized we've

2700
01:35:06,180 --> 01:35:06,680
grown.

2701
01:35:07,220 --> 01:35:09,699
We're not a big company by any stretch.

2702
01:35:09,699 --> 01:35:11,140
There's no stretch of the imagination where you

2703
01:35:11,140 --> 01:35:12,500
say we're a big company. We are bigger

2704
01:35:12,500 --> 01:35:14,340
than we were a couple years ago, and

2705
01:35:14,340 --> 01:35:15,239
I am realizing

2706
01:35:16,145 --> 01:35:17,505
that our reach is a little bit further,

2707
01:35:17,505 --> 01:35:19,505
and we appear to be bigger than we

2708
01:35:19,505 --> 01:35:21,265
are because there are people who do not

2709
01:35:21,265 --> 01:35:23,265
realize it is literally just the two of

2710
01:35:23,265 --> 01:35:23,765
us.

2711
01:35:24,465 --> 01:35:26,645
It's like, nope. Nope. It's it's just

2712
01:35:27,024 --> 01:35:27,925
dom sub,

2713
01:35:28,350 --> 01:35:31,329
husband, wife Mhmm. Two crazy motherfuckers

2714
01:35:31,789 --> 01:35:33,729
who just wanna work for themselves.

2715
01:35:35,310 --> 01:35:37,329
It's just us, y'all. It's just us.

2716
01:35:40,029 --> 01:35:41,784
That's always a trip because I just, for

2717
01:35:41,784 --> 01:35:43,404
a while, I was like, I just assume

2718
01:35:43,784 --> 01:35:44,765
everybody knows.

2719
01:35:45,145 --> 01:35:46,984
Everybody does not know. Silent

2720
01:35:47,625 --> 01:35:49,625
we are currently not speaking of the CNC

2721
01:35:49,625 --> 01:35:50,125
machine.

2722
01:35:51,385 --> 01:35:53,145
No. There's not been progress. I've wanted to

2723
01:35:53,145 --> 01:35:55,110
ask, but there's never been a good time

2724
01:35:55,110 --> 01:35:56,949
to ask, so I'm not asking. This is

2725
01:35:56,949 --> 01:35:57,930
not me asking.

2726
01:35:58,869 --> 01:36:00,070
We'll get to it when we get to

2727
01:36:00,070 --> 01:36:00,810
it. Yeah.

2728
01:36:02,390 --> 01:36:04,470
Right right now, yeah, it is it I

2729
01:36:04,470 --> 01:36:05,930
had to put it to the side.

2730
01:36:07,110 --> 01:36:09,369
I I just have not had

2731
01:36:10,255 --> 01:36:12,654
the time to devote. Also, the I think

2732
01:36:12,654 --> 01:36:13,475
the the

2733
01:36:14,095 --> 01:36:16,774
bandwidth because it's a challenge that you have

2734
01:36:16,774 --> 01:36:19,395
to be able to focus Yeah. And investigate

2735
01:36:19,614 --> 01:36:22,895
and learn Mhmm. And then tinker with and

2736
01:36:22,895 --> 01:36:24,175
go back and forth and

2737
01:36:24,734 --> 01:36:25,079
yeah.

2738
01:36:26,280 --> 01:36:28,300
I'm almost say it's more emotional energy

2739
01:36:28,680 --> 01:36:30,699
at this point than it is anything physical.

2740
01:36:33,000 --> 01:36:33,399
So

2741
01:36:33,880 --> 01:36:34,859
I think she wanted

2742
01:36:35,239 --> 01:36:37,399
She's done with us. Logos like, look, I

2743
01:36:37,399 --> 01:36:39,159
have wandered. I've been in my car. I

2744
01:36:39,159 --> 01:36:41,555
went outside. I've laid next to my daddy.

2745
01:36:41,854 --> 01:36:44,015
I've given him puppy dog eyes. I'm done

2746
01:36:44,015 --> 01:36:45,695
with you people. You've been in here too

2747
01:36:45,695 --> 01:36:46,994
fucking long. Yeah.

2748
01:36:47,534 --> 01:36:48,034
Yeah.

2749
01:36:49,055 --> 01:36:50,515
So So You know,

2750
01:36:51,375 --> 01:36:53,130
I'm I'm doing what I can do. That's

2751
01:36:53,130 --> 01:36:54,810
all you can do. That's all you can

2752
01:36:54,810 --> 01:36:56,510
do. And I am learning

2753
01:36:56,890 --> 01:36:57,630
to relax.

2754
01:36:58,010 --> 01:36:59,610
I don't mean relax like, oh, take time

2755
01:36:59,610 --> 01:37:00,590
off. But, like,

2756
01:37:01,369 --> 01:37:02,810
up in this is the first year I

2757
01:37:02,810 --> 01:37:04,179
think that, yes, I am aware that we

2758
01:37:04,179 --> 01:37:04,203
need more product. If we have more product,

2759
01:37:04,203 --> 01:37:04,228
we'd have more sales, blah, blah, blah. All

2760
01:37:04,228 --> 01:37:04,750
those things, I'm aware. But I am working

2761
01:37:05,130 --> 01:37:05,630
very,

2762
01:37:07,335 --> 01:37:09,574
all those things I'm aware, but I am

2763
01:37:09,574 --> 01:37:11,755
working very hard to not let that

2764
01:37:12,295 --> 01:37:14,454
become so stressful. I can't function and have

2765
01:37:14,454 --> 01:37:16,534
that overwhelm. Mhmm. Because all it ended up

2766
01:37:16,534 --> 01:37:18,479
doing was having me push you harder, which

2767
01:37:18,479 --> 01:37:20,000
that's not fair. You're doing what you can

2768
01:37:20,000 --> 01:37:22,739
do. I think what I've managed to do

2769
01:37:22,960 --> 01:37:24,479
to mitigate that is I just try to

2770
01:37:24,479 --> 01:37:26,159
do more. I'm like, what can I do?

2771
01:37:26,159 --> 01:37:28,180
What do you need? What can I like,

2772
01:37:28,239 --> 01:37:30,000
what skill can you teach me that does

2773
01:37:30,000 --> 01:37:31,220
not involve a blade?

2774
01:37:32,479 --> 01:37:32,979
Because

2775
01:37:34,454 --> 01:37:34,954
I'll

2776
01:37:35,735 --> 01:37:37,814
Yeah. I'll cut the shit. Look. I was

2777
01:37:37,814 --> 01:37:38,314
just,

2778
01:37:38,695 --> 01:37:40,454
cleaning up some resin because there was a

2779
01:37:40,454 --> 01:37:41,975
little bit of an overpour on a piece

2780
01:37:41,975 --> 01:37:43,814
and sliced the shit out of my thigh.

2781
01:37:43,814 --> 01:37:45,034
It wasn't even a blade.

2782
01:37:46,695 --> 01:37:49,139
It was just dried resin. Resin. Cured resin.

2783
01:37:49,199 --> 01:37:50,979
And and and, Tae Shoo, you know,

2784
01:37:51,519 --> 01:37:52,420
an old office

2785
01:37:52,800 --> 01:37:54,739
office printer and a a sledgehammer?

2786
01:37:55,119 --> 01:37:57,279
Mhmm. I'd have some fun. For anybody not

2787
01:37:57,279 --> 01:37:58,880
looking at live chat, Tae Shoo said, JB,

2788
01:37:58,880 --> 01:38:00,000
do you need me to send you a

2789
01:38:00,000 --> 01:38:02,500
broken printer to beat up office space style?

2790
01:38:02,800 --> 01:38:04,984
Which that just reminds me. I I told

2791
01:38:04,984 --> 01:38:05,484
JB

2792
01:38:06,185 --> 01:38:08,505
recently, I need to I keep seeing things

2793
01:38:08,505 --> 01:38:10,104
that are, like, from movies I watched as

2794
01:38:10,104 --> 01:38:11,564
a teenager and that are nostalgic

2795
01:38:12,024 --> 01:38:13,625
that are still kinda out there. Like, there'll

2796
01:38:13,625 --> 01:38:15,465
be clips or memes. I'm like, I need

2797
01:38:15,465 --> 01:38:16,604
to make a list

2798
01:38:17,060 --> 01:38:18,359
of movies that I

2799
01:38:18,819 --> 01:38:20,500
saw as a kid, as a teenager that

2800
01:38:20,500 --> 01:38:21,640
I fucking loved,

2801
01:38:22,100 --> 01:38:24,260
and we need to just watch them. And

2802
01:38:24,260 --> 01:38:26,260
I'm I now Office Space has to be

2803
01:38:26,260 --> 01:38:26,920
on it.

2804
01:38:28,100 --> 01:38:31,694
Dogma was rereleased for a limited run yesterday

2805
01:38:31,755 --> 01:38:33,914
or the day before. This week sometime, I

2806
01:38:33,914 --> 01:38:36,154
would kill to go see that. Fucking love

2807
01:38:36,154 --> 01:38:37,755
Dogma when it first came when I first

2808
01:38:37,755 --> 01:38:38,875
saw it. I didn't see it in the

2809
01:38:38,875 --> 01:38:40,795
theaters when it first came out. Chain Silent

2810
01:38:40,795 --> 01:38:42,895
Bob, man. Chain Silent Bob. Yep.

2811
01:38:45,010 --> 01:38:47,569
But and now Lola wants it? No. Lola

2812
01:38:47,569 --> 01:38:48,929
doesn't want and she wants us on the

2813
01:38:48,929 --> 01:38:49,989
couch, doesn't she?

2814
01:38:50,609 --> 01:38:52,210
Is it time for her high value treat?

2815
01:38:52,210 --> 01:38:54,229
She has not had her treat yet tonight.

2816
01:38:54,850 --> 01:38:57,350
So she is very annoyed with us. Treat.

2817
01:38:57,489 --> 01:38:59,270
Yeah. And and, x, thank you.

2818
01:39:00,484 --> 01:39:01,944
You know, if when I

2819
01:39:02,564 --> 01:39:04,724
get back into it, I may reach out

2820
01:39:04,724 --> 01:39:06,824
to you. That's about the CNC machine. Yeah.

2821
01:39:07,444 --> 01:39:09,204
I did learn. Am I correct in remembering

2822
01:39:09,204 --> 01:39:10,744
you've never seen the movie Titanic?

2823
01:39:11,125 --> 01:39:13,204
Correct. We have to watch that one. I

2824
01:39:13,204 --> 01:39:15,789
haven't. I I need you to weigh in

2825
01:39:15,789 --> 01:39:18,270
on do you think Jack could've fit on

2826
01:39:18,270 --> 01:39:19,469
the door? Even if you don't know what

2827
01:39:19,469 --> 01:39:21,729
that reference is. I yeah. I can't. Okay.

2828
01:39:21,949 --> 01:39:23,569
Because I saw somebody,

2829
01:39:24,189 --> 01:39:26,529
some science, somebody, somebody prove

2830
01:39:27,069 --> 01:39:28,909
that it would that it would not have

2831
01:39:28,909 --> 01:39:29,409
worked

2832
01:39:29,765 --> 01:39:31,225
for him to be on the door.

2833
01:39:31,685 --> 01:39:32,664
But I was

2834
01:39:34,324 --> 01:39:34,824
14,

2835
01:39:35,444 --> 01:39:37,765
15 when I saw that movie. I was

2836
01:39:37,765 --> 01:39:39,765
just crying at the tragedy of it all.

2837
01:39:39,765 --> 01:39:40,244
I wasn't

2838
01:39:41,604 --> 01:39:42,489
I I I didn't

2839
01:39:42,869 --> 01:39:44,150
clock that. Now I need to see it

2840
01:39:44,150 --> 01:39:45,110
again so I can, like

2841
01:39:51,590 --> 01:39:53,510
oh, Tati says Rocky Horror Picture Show is

2842
01:39:53,510 --> 01:39:55,350
coming back to theaters for a limited run.

2843
01:39:55,350 --> 01:39:56,645
Oh, I would watch that too.

2844
01:39:57,585 --> 01:39:59,984
Do you know my first experience with Rocky

2845
01:39:59,984 --> 01:40:01,845
Horror Picture Show? I was in

2846
01:40:03,744 --> 01:40:05,505
my very late twenties. I might have been

2847
01:40:05,505 --> 01:40:07,920
30 before I saw Rocky Horror Picture Show

2848
01:40:08,960 --> 01:40:11,060
fully and in a theater

2849
01:40:12,079 --> 01:40:14,159
where everybody was doing the stuff and dressed

2850
01:40:14,159 --> 01:40:16,579
up. Oh, yeah. I was, like, 29, 30.

2851
01:40:17,119 --> 01:40:18,880
I was, I had my big girl corporate

2852
01:40:18,880 --> 01:40:20,319
job, and I that's when I was I

2853
01:40:20,319 --> 01:40:22,534
was 17 when I saw Rocky Horror. My

2854
01:40:22,534 --> 01:40:25,354
mother was about the same age as you,

2855
01:40:25,494 --> 01:40:26,935
and then she was one of those so

2856
01:40:26,935 --> 01:40:28,774
funny because my mom does not come across

2857
01:40:28,774 --> 01:40:31,255
as somebody who would, like, wild out to

2858
01:40:31,255 --> 01:40:33,654
Rocky Horror Picture Show, but apparently, she and

2859
01:40:33,654 --> 01:40:34,314
her friends

2860
01:40:34,850 --> 01:40:35,750
went to multiple

2861
01:40:37,090 --> 01:40:39,029
showings, that was the midnight showings or whatever.

2862
01:40:39,569 --> 01:40:42,050
Yeah. Yep. Yeah. My you no. But no.

2863
01:40:42,050 --> 01:40:43,970
Nobody who knows my mother would think, oh,

2864
01:40:43,970 --> 01:40:45,729
yeah. That was some you? I'm like, yeah.

2865
01:40:45,729 --> 01:40:47,750
Of course, she fucking went to Rocky Horror.

2866
01:40:49,635 --> 01:40:51,795
But, yeah, I was, like, I was, like,

2867
01:40:51,795 --> 01:40:52,295
30.

2868
01:40:54,274 --> 01:40:54,774
So

2869
01:40:58,194 --> 01:41:00,354
Yeah. She she was very happy when I

2870
01:41:00,354 --> 01:41:01,014
gave her

2871
01:41:01,635 --> 01:41:03,474
her treat. She had that big,

2872
01:41:04,350 --> 01:41:06,909
pity smile, and she just pranced over to

2873
01:41:06,909 --> 01:41:09,010
her her treat eating corner.

2874
01:41:10,029 --> 01:41:11,889
I mean Do you have Rocky Horror?

2875
01:41:12,590 --> 01:41:13,090
No.

2876
01:41:13,630 --> 01:41:15,250
I was gonna say maybe

2877
01:41:15,630 --> 01:41:17,649
maybe that needs to be a movie night

2878
01:41:17,789 --> 01:41:18,289
option.

2879
01:41:18,909 --> 01:41:20,664
Rocky Horror Picture Yeah.

2880
01:41:21,445 --> 01:41:23,604
X says, I saw Titanic in theaters. Me

2881
01:41:23,604 --> 01:41:24,885
too. My mom and I went and saw

2882
01:41:24,885 --> 01:41:27,125
that movie together. You're bald. I don't know

2883
01:41:27,125 --> 01:41:28,744
what changed. Cried so hard.

2884
01:41:29,284 --> 01:41:30,025
On YouTube,

2885
01:41:30,405 --> 01:41:32,025
but I'm just getting bombarded

2886
01:41:32,405 --> 01:41:34,440
with ads. And that's YouTube serving the ads

2887
01:41:34,440 --> 01:41:35,880
up because I don't have ads turned on

2888
01:41:35,880 --> 01:41:38,119
for live streams. So that's YouTube going, oh,

2889
01:41:38,119 --> 01:41:39,720
we're gonna make money whether you're not getting

2890
01:41:39,720 --> 01:41:41,239
a cent, but we're gonna show ads. And

2891
01:41:41,239 --> 01:41:43,500
they're they're they overlay the Mhmm.

2892
01:41:44,520 --> 01:41:46,520
Mhmm. It's not even a a break in

2893
01:41:46,520 --> 01:41:48,140
the thing. It's just it overlays

2894
01:41:49,405 --> 01:41:50,465
in every couple

2895
01:41:53,805 --> 01:41:54,305
minutes.

2896
01:41:58,204 --> 01:42:00,204
So Anyhow We have to stop, or we

2897
01:42:00,204 --> 01:42:02,050
won't have enough to talk about on Friday.

2898
01:42:02,050 --> 01:42:04,050
On Friday. We'll find it. We'll talk about

2899
01:42:04,050 --> 01:42:05,909
bacon. We're coming up

2900
01:42:06,289 --> 01:42:08,530
soon enough on it's time for fall and

2901
01:42:08,530 --> 01:42:09,030
winter,

2902
01:42:10,289 --> 01:42:12,369
desserts and treats. We can talk about those

2903
01:42:12,369 --> 01:42:13,510
foods. Absolutely.

2904
01:42:14,885 --> 01:42:18,085
Right now, I am enjoying not everything pumpkin

2905
01:42:18,085 --> 01:42:19,604
spice because some of that shit what are

2906
01:42:19,604 --> 01:42:21,545
we doing? Why is that pumpkin spice flavored?

2907
01:42:21,685 --> 01:42:23,525
But I am enjoying the things that make

2908
01:42:23,525 --> 01:42:25,765
sense to have be pumpkin and pumpkin spice.

2909
01:42:25,765 --> 01:42:27,779
And JB is starting to get to enjoy

2910
01:42:27,779 --> 01:42:29,960
apple, all things apple. Mhmm.

2911
01:42:30,899 --> 01:42:33,380
Mhmm. It's that time. Yeah. And soon it

2912
01:42:33,380 --> 01:42:34,359
will be winter.

2913
01:42:35,779 --> 01:42:36,760
Excuse me.

2914
01:42:37,460 --> 01:42:37,960
So

2915
01:42:38,819 --> 01:42:40,739
Alright. I guess we should go then, Yeah.

2916
01:42:40,739 --> 01:42:42,819
Oh my gosh. It's almost 09:00. I know.

2917
01:42:42,819 --> 01:42:45,344
I know. And here we are. I am.

2918
01:42:45,645 --> 01:42:47,645
Well, we did, like, we didn't get last

2919
01:42:47,645 --> 01:42:49,484
weekend. That's a lot of pent up. I

2920
01:42:49,484 --> 01:42:51,024
have things to say to people.

2921
01:42:51,725 --> 01:42:53,564
You're not doing what you gotta do. True.

2922
01:42:53,564 --> 01:42:56,609
True. True. Okay. Okay. Maybe at this week's

2923
01:42:56,929 --> 01:42:57,429
livestream,

2924
01:42:57,889 --> 01:43:00,130
y'all can help me make the list of

2925
01:43:00,130 --> 01:43:01,029
the nostalgic

2926
01:43:01,889 --> 01:43:02,789
late eighties,

2927
01:43:03,569 --> 01:43:06,529
nineties movies. Some early eighties that, like, ended

2928
01:43:06,529 --> 01:43:08,550
up coming up on TBS and I watched

2929
01:43:08,975 --> 01:43:11,295
reruns. Like, Mr. Mom. I'd fucking watch that

2930
01:43:11,295 --> 01:43:12,814
shit again. So I could clock all the

2931
01:43:12,814 --> 01:43:15,774
sexism, I'm sure, and other problematic stuff. But

2932
01:43:15,774 --> 01:43:17,234
I'd watch Mr. Mom again

2933
01:43:17,534 --> 01:43:19,555
because that's where we got the term

2934
01:43:19,935 --> 01:43:22,255
whoopie. Yeah. Which we don't even use that

2935
01:43:22,255 --> 01:43:24,420
term anymore because you don't think any anymore.

2936
01:43:24,420 --> 01:43:26,500
No. You don't have a whoopie. No. I

2937
01:43:26,500 --> 01:43:28,020
don't have a whoopie anymore. We need you

2938
01:43:28,020 --> 01:43:29,140
to I don't want you to vape. I'm

2939
01:43:29,140 --> 01:43:30,659
glad I'm glad you don't. I'm glad you,

2940
01:43:30,659 --> 01:43:32,579
you know, whatever. But you need a whoopie

2941
01:43:32,579 --> 01:43:34,260
because I don't get to refer to whoopies

2942
01:43:34,260 --> 01:43:34,760
anymore.

2943
01:43:35,060 --> 01:43:35,560
No.

2944
01:43:36,340 --> 01:43:38,045
I just realized that. Anyway, we gotta

2945
01:43:41,305 --> 01:43:44,104
go. Hopefully, we will Yeah. See you, talk

2946
01:43:44,104 --> 01:43:46,024
to you, however the all that works. Probably

2947
01:43:46,024 --> 01:43:47,965
will. One way or another. Friday night livestream.

2948
01:43:48,024 --> 01:43:50,765
Mhmm. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Okay. Bye. Bye.