You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode
four fifty four. Kayla Lords here with the
one, the only, the much less stressed than
you were last week at this time when
we sat down to attempt to record John
Brownstone. Correct. Yes. You were there was gnashing
of teeth. Yes. There was growling at anybody
who looked at you funny. Absolutely. There was
leave you the fuck alone and let you
figure this out. Yeah. Yeah.
I tried. I tried real hard. I know.
I know.
So, yeah, we weren't here, last week if
you were like, where the hell is my
episode? Because we had some tech issues that
had to be sorted out. Yeah. When did
the tech issues,
show their face? Right as we were sitting
down to record.
Because of course they did. Right. Because that's
when all the heavy usage gets put down
put on the computer. Exactly.
So but they're sorted.
Sort of. Yeah. For for now. Right. Like,
the the baby fix that is the fastest
has been done. Right. The next fix that's
more permanent but, you know, costs money. Right.
That's the next step. Exactly. Right. We'll get
there. Mhmm. Oh, that's not what we're talking
about today. Although, there might be complaining in
the bonus section because, of course, this week
we're actually taking a few topics that we've
covered in the past
and can't
justify doing a fully new episode on, and
just giving updates about how things have changed
and shifted for us over the years because
that's what happens
in your power exchange and in your life.
As time moves on, things change and shift.
And so we're gonna talk about that. Welcome
to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is
your first time listening, glad to have you.
If you're back for another week, welcome back.
Loving BDSM is produced every Monday for your
kinky pleasure in education, and show notes are
found at lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add
the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You
can also follow the show on FatLife at
loving BDSM PC
on Instagram and technically threads at that handle
I will
forever. Motherfucking hate. It's loving d s and
the number one or at loving d s
one,
on blue sky at loving b d s
m dot blah blah blah blah, whatever the
hell that is.
I'm not I've commit so many things to
memory. I'm not committing that one to memory.
I just gotta remember our name.
Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm,
where you can watch us live from the
podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the
show notes.
I'm gonna interrupt with commercial time before we
get into anything.
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if you want it, you need to get
it now. Link is in the show notes.
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commercial over.
Okay. So before we get into this week's
topic
announcement, assuming
assuming the camera issues stay mostly resolved, podcast
listeners, be glad you don't have to worry
about this.
Our Friday night live stream is supposed to
be this Friday, September 19,
starting at 09:30PM
Eastern.
We intend to be there.
We don't really have time to be, like,
moving it around, so we intend to be
there.
The
camera
that we've made work for this week's livestream,
will it be an improved view?
I don't know. But we think we'll be
there.
So Friday night, September nineteenth,
09:30PM.
See what we can come up with. Okay.
Okay.
Let's get into this. Now
I have
listed this out,
not quite a speed run, but because there's
but there there are a lot.
JB, last week when I put this all
together, when we thought we were gonna do
this last week,
I had a list of 10 and he
said, I don't know why eight was the
number he chose, but he said, let's do
eight. And if we haven't run long, maybe
we can do the last two. So
we really are gonna try and be
thorough but brief without
completely
rehashing
the episode we're referencing because the link to
that episode is in the places. If you
wanna know what we were going through at
the time, what it was like for us
then.
Some of the things we'll say will be
probably a bit of a repeat. But for
me, the kind of the point of this
is to show
that things do shift and change. We
we know that, but I think it gets
forgotten sometimes in something like power exchange where
you go, this right here is working right
now. I need it to be like this
forever in this exact way and it will
it will not be like that. I just
it just won't. But also when it's not
working, when things are not going well, it's
easy to go. It will always be be
this way. And that is also not true.
Everything just sort of moves and shifts too
fucking often for that to be true.
So
that's kind of what we're gonna do. I'm
gonna tell you what this episode is from
and what year. So we we'll probably talk
about the distance between
where we were then and where we are
now.
So I this one I put at the
top because
I hear JB
say some
version of,
oh my god. This aging
thing sucks. This getting old thing sucks. The
year I am getting old. And I
so
we did an episode,
on aging and BDSM.
Mhmm. It's episode one ninety four from 2019
when I turned 40, because 40 is a
milestone, and I was having feelings about it
clearly.
I'm about to turn 46 in a little
over a month from the time of recording.
And, JB, in the past
really, I've heard it in from you in
the past, like, year.
You're you feel like you're feeling your age
more than even you were saying
six years ago, almost six years ago.
So,
what would you like to say about your
experience as a dom, a sadist, a kinkster,
and being,
64?
Because that's where you at right now. Yeah.
I am. I am. I am.
My how things change,
even in just six years.
Yeah. The scenes aren't as long as in
or as intense as they used to be.
No.
For different reasons that probably are not about
aging, I'm I'm okay with that. I would
rather have shorter scenes,
less intensity, more frequently than we do. And
I think the frequency is less about aging
and more about stress levels.
I think what happens in the scene might
be more about aging.
I hate to ask it this way because
it it definitely makes you sound like air
quote old, and I don't consider you that.
I know some of you do, and then
I don't.
Do you, like
my impression is you feel like you're kind
of slowing down in certain ways Yes. In
ways I know you do not like because
you definitely make that clear to me that
you don't like it. I don't like it.
I don't like it at all.
Yeah. I I am slowing down even in
in the way I work
and things I do. You know, I
I keep looking at these two trees in
the backyard that are hanging over from the
woods
that we didn't have the tree folks do.
And I'm like, I could do that.
You could do it once. Yeah.
Yeah. You could do it once. Yeah.
You know? And,
yeah, the you know, it it's it's not
same anymore. It's not the same.
Now do you feel like
in your dominance or even in your sadism,
not the physical acts,
like, you know, with At at this Do
you feel like on the mental level you're
slowing down? Do you feel like you're just
Not not not not work. No. Not mental
level slowing down. It's it's more physical Mhmm.
Than anything.
And,
you know, the mental and I and I
think that's why
as as we've been going going on this
year, I'm finding I'm leaning more and more
on the power exchange.
Yeah.
Yeah. And I'm
at
an age myself where we've
I don't remember when, but we did the
episode on perimenopause, and I am deep in
fucking perimenopause.
And that's where I feel my aging, but
I think I'm at a I'm coming out,
like, on an uphill swing of perimenopause where
I am more interested
than I have been in a very long
time in fuckery, whether it's actual sex or
just kinky acts or whatever. And
we're we're at this kind of awkward
place
where
we're a little
we're not at the same level there Mhmm.
Because
you would love to do more physical things.
I know you would, but your body is
not allowing you to do it. No.
And I'm now finally I don't know every
Mercury's in the microwave or something, but in
a good way, whatever the good version of
that is because I'm like, you know, you
could just drag me around by my hair
more often and I would be super duper
fucking happy.
So
there is there is that that one of
those age gap things that anybody in an
age gap, if you haven't gotten there yet,
you will eventually if you're in it long
enough.
But and yet and yet
Mhmm. You do surprise me. Yeah.
So TMI for people who didn't know we
used to put our ass on the Internet,
among other things.
This past weekend,
I mean, we switched positions three times. It
was Saturday night. Mhmm. Fun time was had
by all. I was having to not scream
in pleasure.
And then it even carried over into the
morning. And that was the thing. Like, you
were, like, moving me around.
Mhmm. It was it was delightful and delicious.
And then you woke me up.
And I was like, first of all, we
are not at a point in life due
to age, due to stress, due to life
stuff. I don't know what. We don't usually
fuck two days in a row. Like, once
we've done it the one time of the
weekend, we're tired. We're good. We Yeah. We've
relieved that stress and tension.
Now we just wanna sleep in the next
day.
Right. So Yeah. To be woken up,
I was like, he's feeling some energy. Knock
knock.
Is it so
so because you have all of this time
and experience now. Mhmm.
Is it just what I imagine it to
be in the mornings, some mornings maybe not
all, you just do have more energy and
as your day progresses That's it's like a
winding down. And that's exactly it. And and
it's not even so much the energy.
To a certain extent it is, you know.
I mean, I'm not a 25 year old
kid anymore.
But, I don't think I would have liked
you at that age. I don't think if
assuming we were at the same age and
didn't have a fucking age gap, y'all. Right.
I don't think we probably wouldn't have been
you wouldn't have been who you are. You
wouldn't have been your mature self. That no.
That time in your life, no. You were
doing shit you should have been arrested for
is all I'm saying. I'm not giving details,
but Yep. And now you got me off
topic, and I forgot the hell I was
talking about. Goddamn it. It's not an energy
thing, you said, or a winding down. Yeah.
It's it's a,
it it's almost like a,
you know, going through hills and valleys. Mhmm.
Okay. Because as
at night,
I'm kind of at my worst most of
the time. Yeah. Especially if you've had a
long day and now you're heavily medicated to
And, you know, then I I I take
what I medication I need for my back.
The
elevating helps. Mhmm. Okay. That helps a lot.
It re it relaxes.
And,
that's important because what it does is it
helps me sleep through the night. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Which is what you need in order to
be able to sleep the next day. To
to to feel better to get up in
the morning. Right. So when I get up
in the morning,
you know, I'm like, okay. Yeah. I'm, you
know, ready for the day. Then as day
goes on, you know, it it it creeps
up. Sure.
So it's kinda like a, you know, that
that roller coaster, the ups and downs. But
then clearly you have times where you're like,
oh, I got enough energy to do something.
Mhmm. The next thing I know, my hair
is being pulled. Yeah. And I'm not I'm
not mad about it.
I will never be mad about it. So
I mean, as it's con as long as
it's consensual, I'm not mad. And I I'm
not gonna lie too, but the the weather
helps a little bit too. Yeah. Well, there's
something about trying to do anything in this
Florida heat. Yeah. I mean, I'm just mad
that I had to move at all and
that, that things are touching my body. So
I Mhmm. Yeah. Our
our sex life
I think if we tracked it, we'd probably
see that every summer, it does take a
a dip because nobody wants to touch each
other.
Right.
So,
you know, that that's kinda what it what
it is for me, and that that's why,
you know,
some days by the end of the day,
I'm I'm still kind of okay. Mhmm. And,
you know, I can
but,
most days, I'm just ready to
Sure. And two things. One, before I forget
it because I almost forgot it a second
ago.
I do feel like what we have done
as we've had a business together, which we'll
come to that topic
shortly,
is we have,
prioritized
your both of us, but definitely your health
and well-being
to be able to do the work that
you want to do Mhmm. And still, like,
live a life. And so sometimes that means
that, yeah, your energy and then all has
to go into work,
and then
your recovery
has to be
as much as you can with whether it's
medication or this or that Right. Heating pads,
the TENS, you know, whatever you need. And
so that means that the fuckery will sometimes
take a back seat because that's not the
priority. We need you to be able to
get up in the morning. Knock knock on
wood. It's been a long time since I've
needed the TENS TENS machine.
True.
But there are more times than I'd like
where you're like, oh, I need to get
that heating pad out. I need to just
sit still. Yeah. And and I don't mind
talking, you know, I have,
several
bad discs
in my, spine,
and I also have,
spurs, bone spurs.
That have literally only gotten worse as you've
gotten older. Right. It's it's arthritis. Right.
The other thing I wanted to ask you,
you said you're leaning more into the power
exchange because it requires less you don't need
physical energy really for that. How like, in
what ways for you, what's that looking like?
How are how are you I know you're
all up in that obedience app. Yeah. I
mean, I appreciate it, but still And and
that's and that's the thing.
You know,
the
I I have been
so
focused with work,
especially this past summer. Last summer, I was
able to take You you did. You took
a lot of time off. I I took
a lot of time off. I was able
to take, like, a Monday off and a
a We were less busy sales wise last
week. We we were less busy.
True. But I was able to condense a
lot of my work into those those few
days. True.
And, you know, this year,
I was not able to do that. Mhmm.
You know, I'm I can maybe slip in
a half a day, you know, a full
day here and there,
but,
you know, I I was not able to
do that at all this year. Mhmm. And
with that,
you know, and I I even told you
beginning of summer, I I've had had a
lot of things on my mind that I
was creating and and trying to do in
different things and Mhmm. You know. So
with all that, yeah, the Obedience app has
been a big help for me. Mhmm.
Okay. Because I can I can focus on
the things that I need
and,
you know,
they okay? Alright, baby girl. Here, here's what's
We have one conversation that we have not
had time to get to, but it's because
we both been Yeah. Busy for things to
add to the obedience app. But, you know
yeah. It's sort of like for other factors
of, like, not just aging, but finding shortcuts
to do the things we wanna be doing,
in this case, power exchange.
You know? I do
I don't know how you've been thinking about
it. Mhmm. But from my perspective,
I don't necessarily
I don't feel like I have felt your
dom energy
anymore,
and sometimes not a lot. We've because we've
been busy. We'll get to that section when
we get to our business. Yep.
Because we've been busy. Mhmm.
And so it I like knowing that internally,
you're like, no. No. No. I am I
am doing my dominant thing. And now we
just have to find the balance of, hi.
I'm over here waiting for you to do
the dominant thing. Right.
Hey. Two days in a row pulling my
fucking hair and fucking me senseless. I'm I'm
good with it. I'm not mad. Okay. Anything
else you'd like to add about? Not not
in that. Not in that. I don't really
have I don't really have much to add
because we did the episode on perimenopause
semi recently.
And that's where all of my aging stuff
is sitting. Also,
I don't have answers
for
either the things that I
think are probably due to aging and also
for how to make the solutions that I
think I need possible. So, like, I don't
have an update other than I'm almost 46,
and I'm in
the depths of despair
of perimenopause.
And we're just surviving out here because that's
all you can do sometimes.
Anything else you'd like to add, though? Okay.
Next
one. Mhmm. I feel like we've kind of
we've kind of given an update a little
bit. Right. This one is,
the low libido, low sexual arousal is a
more accurate term.
In our power exchange, this is from episode
two sixty four from 2021,
which is actually two years after I like,
my libido fucking
tanked. Yeah. Tanks.
And at
around around 2021,
because that's all the insanity was going on,
your libido kinda went prime. Oh, it it
it bottomed out. Mhmm. Mhmm. It it bottomed
out. So where do you feel like you
are now?
I'm I'm in a better place. Oh, yeah.
I've seen I've seen all the the sex
toys that get laid on Yeah.
Bathroom counters. I mean, it's
you know,
knowing
now at this point how,
my depression plays into my libido We'll get
to that in a second too. You
know, I I have a better understanding of
what's going on. Mhmm. Now
the weird thing I I I it's
I get a chuckle a little bit thinking
about it because again, it's almost like a
I I I notice I go in as
far as my libido, I go in cycles.
Oh my god. There's something flying by my
face. Oh my god.
Excuse me. But,
but, yeah, it it it's like there are
times I hit,
like, a low, and I've had no interest
in sex whatsoever, you know. Right. Don't even
and then then I hit the peak where
I'm like,
I'm ready to go. Let's,
And thankfully,
I'm at a point
I am I too am ready to go
when you are ready to go. Let us
go together. Right. So this ties for me
back into aging, but this certainly comes from
the low libido side. In the past
nine months to a year,
I have watched you more consistently
use
your solo toys. Mhmm. Like, you will be
turning like the kinky businessman you are, And
there will be some kinky fuckery going on
in your damn pants. And you're just there
and nobody would know to look at you.
But I know because I see what's left
on the bathroom counter. And I'm always like
and I and I say this with actual
love, joy, and nothing but positive feelings. You
fucking pervert. I love you so much.
And so,
one, to me, that's sort of a sign
of some kind of sexual arousal coming back.
But it also feels like a way
for you
to experience
sexual pleasure
in ways that don't overtax your body
when it can't always do what it wants
to do, if that makes sense. Yes. Absolutely.
Anything else you wanna add about your
okay.
So for me,
I had hoped that once I went on
HRT Mhmm. And also that some of the
stress
was alleviated because it was not just a
OMM perimenopause and libido time. That did happen.
But it was also, there is all this
overwhelming stress and I don't want to fuck
when I'm this stressed out.
I had hoped that my
excitement
and seeking out of sexual pleasure would come
back. Mhmm.
Not really. Not so much? A little bit.
There's like Love it. Yeah. Popping full I'll
be reading something real good, and I'm like,
oh, this is
this is doing something for me. But that
only a couple times, yes, I have gone
and gotten the vibrator because I was like,
this is doing some some shit something to
me and I need to do something to
me. And you were off being, you know,
working and being a businessman.
And so there was nothing for I had
to do it on my own.
But and so that does happen occasionally and
I do take it as a good sign
that that ability to
read a sexy thing that is well written
and, like, realistic enough and, you know, I'm
not going, oh my god. Is it a
magic asshole that you don't need lube or
training? Okay. Like, it's, like, good good. And
I can I can immerse myself in it?
I take it as a good sign that
I periodically, every so often, have a,
reaction to that that is Mhmm. You know,
positive and sexual, and I'm I'm feeling I'm
feeling good. We've also discovered that, you know,
sometimes, not always, if you hand me an
edible
and I get relaxed in just the right
way,
I am throwing myself at you.
That's true. I coined the term kink horny
because I don't I don't think I'd care
if I got fucked. I'm more like, could
you just do kinky things to me, please
and thank you. And those things turn me
on. So therefore,
that would be enough.
So but my drive for it, my my
desire to seek it out, to seek out
sexual pleasure,
it's a blip. It's not it's not up
real. It's not like it was when I
first started sex blogging.
I you know, it it it's not at
that level anymore
when I was in my thirties.
But when you reach for me and you
wanna
you wanna
I am 99%
of the time. I'm down for it. I'm
not I think once over the past like
year, I've had a moment of oh god
I kinda don't want to,
but also if we don't do it now,
I might not get to do it for
another week or so and also he's touching
me. And then you pull my hair and
it doesn't matter.
I'm lost. I'm gone.
But prior to that, you know, before I
went on HRT, when the stress was crazy,
all that stuff Mhmm. There were many times
I was like,
I am I am not stopping this for
him, and it's not really for me. Like,
the the arousal and desire
just was not there.
TMI again, if you were don't know about
us
sharing absolutely everything.
I guess the hormones and the the decreased
stress are doing something because you didn't have
to use lube. No. I didn't. Fuck. Like,
vaginal dryness, that's a a typically a perimenopause
thing. But also
just to get aroused enough for the body
to go, sure, we'll warm up like that
'94
Mercury Grand Marquis
you got in the backyard. Sure. We could
we could still
that's also an aging thing to go with
it. But, like, that
has that occurs more often than it used
to. Yeah. And so I'm not, like, humping
your leg. I guess I could if I
really wanted to. I'm not humping your leg.
I'm not going, daddy, please come fuck me.
But I am open to it now in
ways I was not
even in 2021.
That's very true. Yeah. Yeah. So that that's
a nice little update.
I do I do credit,
HRT
for that.
When I started, I I have a
a vaginal testosterone
cream. We call it taking the plunge. I
have to take it twice a week, and
it's this, like, injector plastic injector thing. It's
awkward. I also call it spicy yogurt.
Sometimes
it's just
it's a little spicy when it goes in.
Anyway,
when I first started taking it, I didn't
get to take it consistently because there were
issues issues with prescriptions, and there was just
bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. And now that I've been
on it consistently
and it got tweaked the prescription got tweaked
a little bit, now I feel like I'm
reaping those benefits. Right? Right. And so the
sexual desire being one of them.
It just I kind of wish it would
come back to where it was when I
was in my mid thirties, and I was
I was just flashing my tits on the
Internet and talking about my sex life because
that was, like, on my fucking mind. Mhmm.
It is not now granted, in our non
kink, non business, non professional life, there's a
lot of shit going on, and your brain
only has room for someone. Yeah. Yeah. So
I've had to, like,
shove furniture in my brain aside to make
room for the things I am, like, I
have to focus on. That is non optional.
And I guess
the excitement about sex was one of the
boxes that moved into the attic or something.
I don't know.
But at least I want sex when it
presents itself. And I'll take that. That's an
improvement. That's a legit improvement.
Okay.
So,
I cannot
I don't know. I I knew we were
gonna do d s and depression.
As one of our updates. Yeah. I have
it linked on my notes that we're using
here. Mhmm. Did I actually put it in
the fucking outline? No. So but we are.
I added it. That's what that was me
typing if you heard me tapping.
The episode on d s and depression,
is one of our more recent ones. It's
episode three forty five, I think. Mhmm. Yeah.
From 2023.
So very recent. We're only in 2025. Yeah.
And this really is more about
you Mhmm. And your
is there anything you would like to say
about where you're at right now with regards
to that? I'm I'm definitely doing better Mhmm.
Than where I was a year
or more ago. Mhmm.
I'm not quite where I want to be.
Sure.
And we've talked about what it will take
to Mhmm. Help you get there. And,
but, you know,
being
aware of it
just just being aware of it is a
help. Yes. Because at least you know what's
happening to you. And you're not like, oh
my god. Am I am I going crazy?
And, I'm I'm at a point sometimes
because my depression comes with a lot of
bad talk.
Like self talking? Yeah. Yeah.
And and I've learned when that starts happening,
I'm like, okay. Where is this coming from?
Mhmm.
You know? And not every time, but sometimes
I can kind of
hold it off.
Right.
I am more aware
I'm always since we've met, I've been aware
of your mood. Thanks, hypervigilance.
Living together with a song, being together with
a song, I'm very aware of your moods.
Yeah. I feel like I now just have
enough experience with you being able to label
this is depression, this is this, this is
that.
I can now kind of clock when
you are in one of those lows
and depression's kicking your ass because everything around
you externally, like, my vibe from you, you're
very heavy. It's all very heavy. Mhmm. And
there there is no sunshine, and I should
not try to make a joke.
But so you know what? I don't make
jokes,
but I I do continue to be who
the fuck I am. And then I get
I get grudging chuckles. And look, that's a
win's a win. Okay? I'll take I'll take
a grudging
chuckle any day because if
I can't I can't make your depression go
away. I can't fix it for you. But
if I can get you to chuckle Mhmm.
Even if it's a snark and it's something
like, I I should not be saying that.
I should that that this is not a
kind moment for me.
It's like I can get you to remember
that, oh, yeah.
I can find things funny. I can feel
a little lighter. Doesn't fix anything in the
moment, but it's a little bit in that
moment when you're like You kinda cut puts
a crack in the wall. Yeah. And you're
a little bit more you in that moment,
and you can I can kinda bring that
forward and you know
Yeah? And I don't know how much it
actually helps, but it's from outside
observing.
You know?
I I feel what it feels like now
in your vibe.
I do like that you're
really open to just talking about it, not
just here on the podcast. But between the
two of us, you'll go, yeah. Yeah.
Depression's kicking my fucking ass. And we've we've
talked about the things
that JB needs to help him.
And
when we have the resources,
we are going to do those things. Yeah.
Because that all goes back into everything goes
back into our professional life. It goes back
into our personal life. It goes back into
the goals you set for yourself. Like Right.
You know, depression makes all of that so
much harder. Yes. So
but I I know you've you've said it
on the podcast before, so I don't feel
like I'm talking out of turn. But you,
you know, I know you also had said
that
at one point you realized, oh wait, I've
had depression my whole life and I just
didn't know Yeah. That's what this was. Yeah.
What what was that
not what was it about. Like, what was
the revelation like to go holy shit, this
is this? This is And and that's kinda
what it was. It was I was like,
oh,
fuck.
You know, the you know, I because it
it's you know, I I did not
at at that time, my
maybe you did not call it. Yeah. I'm
I'm just feeling a little off today, just
feeling a little low. Mhmm. You know? Mhmm.
Yeah. The blues came to visit. You know?
Mhmm. I mean,
by virtue of your age alone, when you
were coming up in your young certainly your
young life and then even your twenties and
into your thirties, that was not exactly something
that was being talked about either.
Like, certain circles might have been talking about,
but not broadly speaking. You were not gonna,
Yeah. You know? No. But, you know, yeah.
And but, yeah, it was kind of a
little bit of an eye opener. It's like
Mhmm. Oh, this has been going on a
long time. Mhmm. Just there were all these
catalysts
Mhmm.
That just
Sure. Pushed it into hyperdrive.
Did it feel
I the only word I can come up
with, and I this is probably not a
good word, so correct me. Mhmm. Was there
any sort of comfort in kind of going,
oh, this is who I've been? This is
why? This is like A little bit. Yes.
Mhmm. Yeah. Were there any other feelings that
came up for you?
Not really.
Just, you know, the,
the realization of what it what we had
been going on all this time, what what
it was.
Now now that you're more aware of your
depression, you you understand what's happening to you
when it happens when it happens.
How is that tying into your role
as dominant and
kink and sex and fury and all of
like, where where is that fitting for you
these days? And, see, that ties back in
for me with the
obedience app. Mhmm.
Okay?
Because it it
it allows me to put things in place
Mhmm. Okay? And I can monitor it,
but
it doesn't
if if I am in one of those
lows Mhmm. Okay, I can just, you know,
kinda look and yeah. Okay. She she did
what she needed to do and Margaret's, you
know, we're all good. Mhmm. And
the other times when I'm
more up, that's when that's when you'll, hear
me say,
good girl and, you know, good job.
You know what? I
I don't like the reason you don't feel
like you're you can do that. Mhmm. But
it actually works out if this helps at
all. Because if you are constantly
every single time
saying something, acknowledging it, eventually, I would start
to tune that out because that's just, you
know, human nature, the the frequency of it.
So the fact that I don't like why
it has to be sporadic, but that it
is is sporadic, that is that is actually
not a bad thing. And what I believe
it or not, what I actually took from
the Obedience app, because there are certain things
that that I have been doing lately that
I need reminders for.
Mhmm. And
I set myself
now reminders through the phone.
And you use them. And I use them
and it has been amazing. It has been
an amazing because reminders don't work if you
don't use them. I've learned that the hard
way. Yeah. Yeah.
Now, just to tie things back in, do
you feel like
the utilization of reminders,
is that
sort of part of one of your your,
ways of of modifying things and making things
work work as you age? Or is it
just a, oh, look. We got technology, and
I'll just use it? It It's a just
a busy ness thing? It's a combination of
both. Gotcha.
Combination of both. Yeah. I had to start
I can't rely on too many reminders because
then I will
tune them out eventually. But on the extremely
important things that I cannot let myself forget,
including obedience app stuff Mhmm. I have reminders
or notifications, and I turn all that off
for everything else. So when it comes up,
I know my brain goes, it's an important
thing.
Mhmm. Pay attention to that.
Anything else you would
Nope. Okay. So this next one,
I think I didn't know how the fuck
to title it.
And I still don't know if there's another
way of saying this. But back in 2021,
episode two sixty nine, nice,
we did an episode called acts of service
for each other or about acts of service.
Things we did for one another,
not because we were required to, not because
we negotiated this is who you are in
your role, but just things we did for
each other as we saw ways that we
could
help each other, you know, support each other,
whatever whatever. Right.
Can you think of I don't know I
don't know how different these will be from
2021. Mhmm. But we're gonna talk about what
we do now. Can you think of anything?
I I can't I actually, I can't.
Last week, I had several. I should have
written them down. Yeah. They're out of my
brain now. See? I can think of a
couple of things. I mean, the the main
thing I I think, but it's it's something
that pretty much have done all along. Mhmm.
You know, a lot of times when I
am out and about, I will bring you
home a treat. I know. Less so than
used to be, but part of that is
Yeah. We don't go out that often. Right.
And we spent several years
not spending extra money if we could help
it. So it's not a thing we do
automatically. Exactly.
And also you know that if I am
leaving this house and getting in the car,
I'm I'm coming home with,
something, a Diet Coke or something.
It's okay. The only way you can make
sure I'm not doing that is if I
leave the house with my water bottle and
I take my drink with me.
So I know some things I do for
you because I do them for you, but
also you do them in reverse for me
sometimes.
So,
when I can tell that you're super crazy
busy,
I will finish folding the part of the
laundry
that
you will get to, and I know you'll
get to. But I'm like, I'm here. I,
like, finally,
like, sucked it up enough to fold my
part of the laundry. I'll just do all
the rest. It's fine. It's no big deal.
And you're always very appreciative of it. So
that's Mhmm. Something that we we say that
we do to make our lives easier, but
I notice
that we
do it more when we know the other
person is responsible for it. So
JB is kind of a little bit in
charge of how the kitchen operates. Okay. Like
I'm in there cooking almost every night and
I'll do dishes and like I'll do stuff
in there. But when it comes to, like,
layout and what needs to happen when and
where things are stored, that's JB's domain. And
I just go, okay, daddy, and we move
on.
So we were finding
that
dishes were kinda just piling up to the
day because we have a good system on
when we do dishes and when dishes get
put away and how that happens, and it
it typically works. But we were kinda finding
that dishes were sort of piling up through
the day after the clean ones were put
away. And you couldn't navigate the sink, and
you we've got plenty of counter space, but
it does not feel like it wants something
piled on it. And so he instituted this
thing of, okay, let's,
you know,
load the dishwasher through the day as we
go. Instead of throwing your plate in the
sink Mhmm. Drop it in the in the
dishwasher. Exactly.
Okay. What I know that I do, and
I have watched JB do, if we know
it's the other one's night to wash dishes,
how do you know it's your night to
wash dishes If you didn't cook. If you
cook, you don't do dishes.
If you, you know, don't cook, you do
dishes. Yeah. So when I know it's JB's
night to do dishes and I've got five
free minutes, I'm gonna go ahead and and
get a lot of the big stuff done.
I'm gonna get that part done for him.
I'm gonna do the hand washables. Not always,
but sometimes. He does the same thing for
me. If he knows he's cooking now you
know, at first I was like, oh, we're
just making room for ourselves. And then I
realized,
no. On nights when we know we're not
gonna cook or we're eating leftovers or anything
where
there's no like direct trade off,
it's a we each are doing it and
nobody's like putting in this extra effort. We're
doing like minimal, like just to keep the
sink kinda clear.
But, like, if it's my night to wash
dishes, I'm gonna walk in and I might
have four dishes to wash. And I'm like,
but wait. It was my night to do
dishes.
And he's like, I'm just trying to help
you out. Make it easier on you. I
mean, you know, some some of those things
that I I
did, you know, to institute in the kitchen.
I I really I do the lion's share
of the dishes. Yes. You know, and, Because
I do the lion's share of the cooking.
Right. But, you know, and it just seemed
just like, you know,
cut out a
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was there
you were doing it for efficiency. You were
doing it to make life easier, but it's
those oh, is Lola bringing up I don't
know. Something juicy. Oh, god, y'all.
She usually goes straight to the door when
she knows something's gonna to be alright, but,
She's got an old lady cough.
Well
So now my point is, yes, you set
it all up for efficiency's sake, but the
way it plays out so now I'm wondering
if you even realize you're doing it
because
I absolutely
I know when I'm doing it because as
a service hub, I'm aware of the service.
I'm I it's a conscious thing I'm thinking
about. But you must not be aware that
you're doing it. On the nights when I'm
definitely gonna be the one washing dishes Mhmm.
95%
of it's done. I'll have, like, two pots.
And even even after you eat dinner, you'll
just put your Plate in the dew. Yeah.
You make it so I have almost no
dishes to wash is my point.
That's that is the point. That is the
point. I mean, why do the dishes have
to sit in the sink after you eat
lunch? There's a nuance I think you're missing.
I'm not explaining it very well. We don't
we don't wash it. They just get a
quick rinse and put in the so, you
know. And yet,
on the the days where it doesn't matter,
it's a catch as catch can, there's no
delineation of who's definitely doing dishes and who's
not. We're eating out that night. We're running
air something weird.
You do not go to the extra effort.
It is on the nights because you don't
go to the extra effort on the days
you're doing dishes. Maybe it's because I catch
up first. But on the nights I wash
dishes, you have gone to extra effort that
you did not put in on Saturday or
Sunday or any of these other days. You're
doing it and you don't even know it.
You're taking care of me and you don't
even know it. And, you know, I I
do. And that's why I do it. Because
I know you're busy and and and now,
you know, with with you being
not only
a wife, sub, mother,
business owner,
you know, now you're back to being a
school teacher.
Teacher of record only. I let I let
the Internet do what it needs to do.
So so, you know,
you you have a lot.
So that's why I don't mind doing things
like that. I mean, it that's even, you
know, talking about I forgot, you know,
yeah. After dinner, do the dishes, you know,
load the dishwasher and turn it on. Because
the other one I forgot about. I know
what you're thinking about. You know,
a lot of times when we have
dessert
after dinner,
you know, I will wash
all all the dessert
before we go to bed. And that and
that's again a kind of a two fold
thing for me because I really don't like
waking up the dishes in the sink because
I'm like True. It's starting already. But you
also when I stand there and I'm like,
I'll wash these, you're like, no. Go sit
down. I'll wash these. And and and again,
I I do that in the evening because
you do so much for everybody.
I mean, it's the least.
You do plenty. So
I
I'm not good with taking the compliment. It's
fine. Yeah. But and here's how I real
here's how I realized that I clocked what
you were doing for on and so if
there's if it's a light dishwasher load, we
will just wait and not run it until
after we've had, like, some hard dessert or
whatever. But when that dishwasher is full,
they're getting hand washed. Mhmm.
I realized it was a thing he was
doing for me and not just I want
the dessert dishes to be done.
When the 16 year old has dessert and
and and uses a a dish, that child
is that's the rule. You have to wash
your own dish,
which might be why
they just hunch over the sink and eat
their dessert like a fucking raccoon sometimes, but
whatever.
And I had to explain to the kid
the other day. I was like because they
were like, well, why aren't you washing yours?
I go, mister John washes mine. He does
that for me. And that's when I was
like, oh my god. He does that for
me.
I do.
I do find it funny. I would almost
like to go I need to go back
and, like, look or listen to the the
previous episode because, man, our acts of service
are very kitchen oriented,
very dishes
heavy, very chore
heavy, like putting out laundry
and doing dishes.
And
but, you know, I think I think what
part of what we were talking about
in that previous episodes, it still holds true.
And I think some people who tend to
be new to this need the reminder
that
the domestic
tasks do not have to be role specific.
There are some dynamics where that's what you
negotiate, and there's nothing wrong with that. Right.
But if you're looking at it going, I
did not sign up to do cooking and
laundry and dishes, and that's not what that's
not what I want in the power exchange.
JB is
no less dominant because
he folds bras sometimes.
You know? It's like or he, like, you
know, puts on his rubber gloves when it's
a real grody issue that something needs to
be cleaned. Like, you know, that's it's not
about just like it's not about
gender, like, men only do this and women
only do that.
It's not about it's not role specific either.
He is no more or less dominant when
he's vacuuming the floor, which he
takes very seriously vacuuming the floors,
has his own vacuum that I literally have
never turned on, never pushed, never nothing.
He picked that one out. We found it
on sale.
He will send me to the store to
get the carpet
powder stuff to Yep. And then that's his
little I mean
and it has nothing to do with our
fucking roles because those tasks are not there's
just too much else going on Right. That
I could be doing as a sub and
that needs to be done around this home.
And we
we share the load, but we will do
what we can for each other
when we see the need and we have
the energy. And and those worlds have to
collide. You have to see the need and
and have the energy.
But we still, yeah, we still do those
things.
I think that's just kind of a hallmark
of a healthy relationship regardless of flavor.
I think you should to your to the
ability to the extent you can, do my
shit for each other.
Anything else? No. Okay. Next one. Mhmm.
How we manage money.
The, we had a had a episode
way early,
old as shit
in the archives where we actually negotiated. We
turned the mics on and negotiated something financial,
for an episode. And then
in 2020,
episode two forty three, we talked about it
again.
I don't know how much has changed. I
know this our circumstances have changed. 2020 was
fucked up. For a lot of people, it
was a fucked up year. Yeah. But our
2020
started
a bad slate for us,
and it fundamentally changed how we do a
lot of things in our relationship. Yeah. Who
does what and who's responsible for what, and
does power exchange have any say in it
anymore?
And the way we manage money right now
is baby girl manages the money. Mhmm. I
don't make big decisions.
I don't make tricky decisions. I don't make
hard decisions
by myself. Mhmm. I will come up with
ideas that I think will work, but they
all go to JB. JB is the decider.
Mhmm. But there are times he's like, okay.
Yeah. Yeah. I have to decide what are
we doing. Just tell me what you think
we need to do. What is the best?
And the one that makes me super uncomfortable
but is responsible
is when he asks me, hey. Can I
buy that? I'm like, I hate everything about
that question.
I want us to make those decisions together.
I want us to both be aware of
what's coming in and coming out. But something
about my daddy asking me if he can
do something,
Oh, my God. I wanna die. I think
I think I I think I know how
I can do that better. It just came
to me. Okay. Is it in the budget?
We need to get have more serious conversations
about our budget. But I know. I know.
Now I know. Most of those things, I
probably do
99%
of our personal spending.
I monitor the bills. I know the balances
when when things get wonky. Because when you
work for yourself and your money comes in
at weird times,
bill paying can be very stressful, not just
for lack of money, but for, oh, shit.
The money comes in on this day, but
the bill is due on that day.
This might be a problem.
So I take care of nearly all of,
you know, if if it's being spent, it's
probably my debit card that I'm tapping at
the store. Right?
Business wise,
I I have so much on autopay for
the business that actually buying things were more
$50.50.
But I spend a lot online and JB
leaves the house and he'll leave the house
going, can I how much can I spend?
And I'm like,
I
I it's a responsible question.
We need to have these conversations. Mhmm.
And those are the moments that I hate,
air quote, being in charge. It's really not
that I'm in charge. I'm the administrator. Mhmm.
You know, I'm I mean, I handle all
of the details.
You are still the final decider on big
shit. Yeah. I mean, I I think
I've been be
I wanna say interested, but I've I've been
trying to co money with you more
than I had for a while. Oh, yes.
Now yes. Between 2020 and where we are
now, there was a definite dip where I
finally had to come to you and go,
I need you to be more involved. This
is a this is a level of stress
I have not felt in and I'm that's
literally twenty years
about money
and I am I'm drowning in it because
I was care I decide I chose I
offered JB let me. He gave his permission.
I chose to carry the burden of the
financial stress of looking at the numbers daily
and
juggling the which bill gets and how do
we make it work. I chose to to
take that on
because
his you know, the thing that causes us
to fight the fastest will be money, and
it's because of a it's a stressor for
him.
I'm I don't fight about the money.
Mhmm. JB gets very riled up. So I
was like, if I take this on that's
less stress for him,
I know I'm gonna bring shit to him.
We're gonna make decisions together. He's gonna be
the decider. It's fine. But there came a
point, and I think this is when you
were, like, in the depths of the deepest
part of your depression in the Mhmm. These
past five years, where I just had to
come to you and go, I am I'm
carrying too much of this weight. It's too
much.
And I I need you to be more
involved. There so here's what's funny.
There's a part of me, and it's not
a big part, that's like, I wish I
could kinda hand it over to you.
Like, we do when we first were together.
We first moved in together, and you paid
all the bills. And I just went, okay.
Can I have $10, daddy? And, like, it
was delightful.
Because that was the first time in my
adult life another adult was
was thinking about it and focusing on it,
and I didn't really have to. I needed
to be aware as a responsible adult, but
I didn't I didn't have to take on
the burden.
Fuck. I just
no. But so there is a part of
me that's kind of wishes I could go
here, but there's a bigger part of me
who has control issues and knows how stressful
things still are even though they're way better
than they were. Mhmm. That kinda
I could never take my fingers out of
it completely.
I just Yeah. I get it. I get
that. And I I actually think that would
be a source of tension because I have
set things up in ways that make sense
to me and the ways I can make
them work. You of course would come in
and go oh no here's another way.
I don't know that I am submissive enough.
Just I think
the bounds of my submission would be tested.
That that that's that's the boundary for you.
I don't know why.
It was so delightful for, like, the the
four,
five and a half years Mhmm. That you
just handled it. You handled it more when
you still had your big boy job and
so you had a regular paycheck. Yeah. But
then Yeah. I had to take over some
of it when
you started you became self employed and the
majority of the income was coming from my
freelance writing because I knew how much it
was gonna be, what day it was gonna
land, blah blah blah. It was we were
more
collaborative during that time. Yes. And then there
was this, like, four to five years where
we were not really collaborating. And now we're
kind of back to collaborating, but it is
still more of my responsibility Yeah.
Than
yeah.
So, yeah, sometimes I'm like, god, I kinda
wish. And here's the thing. I think if
we had
an abundance in a way that there there
was never a question where the bill's gonna
get paid or do we have to be
creative, right, this week until next week or
whatever.
I think I could. I'd be like, oh,
because there's not really anything to worry about.
We put as much on autopay as possible.
We talk about purchases. We move the fuck
on with our lives. Mhmm. But we're not
quite at that point. It has to be
monitored, like, really closely.
Yeah. Yeah.
So, yeah, that that's our update on our
money. It is there we've done a one
eighty. Yep. I mean, I think the 2020
episode, we,
were more like we are now because that's
when that started, was in 2020. Mhmm. But,
yeah, from the start of our relation from
the start of this podcast to where we
are now,
complete flip. Yeah. Okay. Next one. Mhmm.
Working together, business partners and our power exchange,
that is also from 2020. Man, we were
doing some bangers in 2020.
That was a very
formative
year in our lives.
That was episode two forty six.
And I think we talked about, like, we
were talking about how how we split our
duties and how that incorporates our power change.
I don't know that much has changed, but
the business has changed for us. Yeah.
So
from your perspective as a dom and being
business partners,
where are you at
in your mind with with that? You know,
it's it's kinda funny because to a certain
extent,
when it comes
to the business,
I don't really see that as a extension
of our power exchange. We kind of can't
run it that way. Yeah. Yeah. I can't
do now, does my service sub self
kick in? Yes. Mhmm.
Am I gonna try and get am I
constantly asking, what can I do for you?
What can I do to help you? Part
of that is because I fucking love you,
and you're my partner.
Also,
as a a business person, apparently, that's what
I am,
As a business baby girl,
I'm like, how can I get more product
out because that is how you make fucking
sales?
You know,
you know, and and there's the but I
I don't know how to function if I'm
not helping you. And I see that you
need help. How can I help? So it's
very convoluted for me,
because we don't make
any business decisions
on our own that are like if it's
under, like, $50, we just do what we
gotta do. We might have a quick conversation
about money, but whatever. Right. But, like,
business decisions, we always make together. And I
here's the thing I don't know that you
realize.
I will always defer to you.
Unless, like, unless there's some part of me
that just goes
almost like I I say for it out,
like, no. I have a fundamentally different opinion.
I have a fundamentally different view on this.
I have to push this. I can't just
concede and go, yeah. Sure. We'll do it
that way. Mhmm. That's extremely
rare. Like, I can't even remember
the last time that might have come up
business wise.
But the thing I and that's the thing
that I don't I think a lot of
doms don't always realize, especially if you have
a service oriented sub.
My inclination is always to defer to you.
Yeah. And I know that's not the first
time I've said that. I that's just
that's where I'm at.
I want you to have what you want.
I want to be of service to you.
You know? Mhmm.
It's a power that you gotta, like, use
wisely.
Working to get but that's the thing. Great
power comes great responsibility.
It does. Mhmm.
I do think
the deference in the decision making is always
there. Mhmm. But that I make more decisions,
again, that are, like, not expensive, not business
altering decisions.
I think I do a lot more of
that on my own now. Like, I I
have subscribed to so many services that I
use for our business that you were like,
I wouldn't even know what that was if
you paid me. Like, I don't have a
fucking clue what that is. Yeah. Because I've
just made those decisions. Mhmm. And it's like
when you decide to make product,
I'm like something new. You're not coming to
me. There's no conference over this. You just
go, I wanna make something new. And I
go, okay, daddy. And we we
move on.
So in some ways, yeah, not a lot
has changed, but I think as our personal
life has shifted, some of that has bled
over into our working life.
We are still as bad as ever about
having clear separations
and demarcations.
We did good for a while. I was,
I don't know. Was it a perimenopause
thing? Was
it on the verge of burnout? Something happened
for me at the beginning of this year,
2025,
up until, like, a like, a month or
so ago where I didn't have a lot
of get up and go. I didn't have
like, I did what I needed to do,
but to go the extra mile to do
anything extra, it was not there for me,
which I must have needed that break because
now I'm at a point where I'm like,
we're back to it. I'm like, if I
gotta work a Saturday, I'll work a Saturday.
If I need to work Sunday night, I'll
work Sunday night. There's not a clear stop
and there's a clear start. There's never a
clear stop. Yeah.
And that has not changed much. Yeah. I
know for me and not really for you.
Not really for me either. No. And and,
what the
YouTube is spamming me with ads tonight. Oh.
But,
shit. Now we're,
yeah. I lost it.
Okay.
If you get it back, you can interrupt.
I don't have much more to say because
there aren't a lot of differences from before.
No. But it is a fact that we
continue to be
business partners with a power exchange. Mhmm. And
I continue to feel like you just need
to be your you need a reminder every
so often that, oh, yeah. You you
you will almost always win.
We I don't look at it as winning.
Like, we're on the same fucking team. Yeah.
But, yeah, you're you're
I will defer to you
more often than you ever fucking realize.
That's great power, great responsibility bullshit right there.
Yeah.
Mhmm. Mhmm. It hasn't come back yet, has
it?
Okay. We're gonna go the next one.
This one is a little silly, but it
became very important over the past few years.
And
I don't have depression, so I'm pretty sure
I did the heavy lifting here.
We did an episode again in 2020,
episode two sixteen. So it was early ish
in the year on cheering each other up.
Part of that is, I think, because for
submissives especially,
but it can happen to doms. It depends
on how you view your role. And,
if there's a the only word I can
think about is how serious you view your
role. And what I mean by that is
is if you have this feeling that doms
should not do certain things or need certain
things and subs should only do the thing
they're asked to do. And there are dynamics
like that, and that's that's fine. That's valid.
We are looser. Right? Like, I'm always submissive,
but I'm also always baby girl.
And I think taking care of my daddy
dom means I need to find a way
to cheer him up. He is always my
daddy dom. He is always in charge, but
he thinks taking care of me looks like
needing to make me happy, make me laugh,
make
you know, like, just
smooth away some of, like, the stressors
for just a bit.
Now
when I say I think I do the
heavy lifting, it is because
your depression will just tank you. Mhmm. And
I have some
is it just a people pleasing? Is it
love? Is it submission? Is it
all of the above and some other things
I haven't thought of? I don't know. But
when you are unhappy,
and it's not because we're arguing,
I want to do everything in my power
to if I can't make it better or
fix it,
I want to get you to smile. I
want to pull you out of it. I
want
I don't know. I want to ease the
tension.
Well, you know,
one of the things that has
changed since then Mhmm.
Is when we're going to bed in the
evening.
Uh-huh. And a certain someone,
right before we
go to sleep,
happens to get their zoomies.
I do. Yeah. I do. You do. If
I if I was masking before, at least
with you,
there's no mask. Yeah. No. I don't hide
shit.
And and,
you know, I know I
I grump and grouse and so much. Grumpy
polar bear. Yeah. That has not changed in
all these years.
Quite frankly, it's probably deepened.
The grump is grumpier.
Next thing you know, I'll be putting
chair out in the front porch and young
kids get off the lawn. I'm okay with
that. I I support that message.
Leave us the hell alone. Don't come to
my house. Don't don't ring my doorbell. I
don't wanna talk to you. I will pretend
you're not I'll pretend I'm not home. I'm
not answering.
Anyway, that's not what I'm talking about.
Anyhoo,
but the thing is,
as much as I harumph and grouse about
it,
I like it.
I
I don't I'm not always trying to.
Very rarely am I actually trying.
But at the the nighttime zoomies, if I
get them there have been a couple nights
this week I have not gotten. I was
exhausted.
And sometimes when I'm, like, when I'm down,
when I'm overly stressed, when I'm in my
head about something, I'm not getting fucking zoomies.
I am like Lola like that. Like, I
don't get zoomies just because. Like,
the stars have to align
here.
But I do love when I can get
you belly laughing. Like, just bust a fucking
gut. There have been a few times we've
made each other laugh so hard we're both
crying.
When it's the nighttime zoomies, I'm laughing until
I cry because I am mortified that I
let that much weird out.
Like, oh my god. I can't believe I
said that thing, did that thing, and there's
a witness.
But I I love getting you to laugh,
which I think
I had to learn the hard way
that I can't always cheer you up, and
I don't always need to try. And that's
probably the biggest update from that that episode
because I maybe we said it then, but
I don't really remember. Because I am that
person who wants
wants you to be happy in whatever way
I can provide.
Mhmm. Even though I understand the outside world
is gonna prevent that at times, and your
own mind is gonna prevent that at times.
I have I think I've gotten more comfortable
with letting
letting you be because I am better at
recognizing
moments that this is not the moment for
that. And and there and there are times
too in that that now I
am more able to tell you
not the time. I know. Do you know
what?
I get in my feelings I when you
say that. I know. And but you know
what? It's not because
I wish it was the time and you
said it's not. It's not because
you're telling me it's not the time.
Something about
the tone you use and where
which is never malicious, but there's something about
that tone
that
and I'm using this word the way I
mean it psychologically
that is triggering from
little kid me, and that has nothing to
do with you.
That took me multiple times of that happening
until I finally fucking figured out why I
hurt my feelings so bad. I hurt my
feelings so bad.
The last time it happened, I,
I walked away. I had my moment. I
went, oh, shit.
Yeah. I know where this is coming from.
Fuck.
And then pulled my shit myself together.
But
there was a time in the not too
distant past,
not only would I have stood my ground
and been like, no. But I want you
to hear me because the part of it
is that is the not being heard and
being dismissed, and that's how my brain is
interpreting some of that. But it's also man,
if god. Something's flying around here. Goddamn it.
Yeah. It's one of those mats in here.
If
I can just get you to hear what
I'm saying because I'm cracking a joke, I'm
being silly,
you will then also laugh and we will
be happy together.
I still fall into that. I mean, because
it's sort of like my default and I
have to pull myself out of it. But
I have gotten
better at going,
it's not my job to cheer him up
right now. It's not my job to make
sure that JB is happy every moment of
every day because one, that's not possible. Mhmm.
And two, sometimes
I become the annoying.
And so I don't like it. I find
it a very uncomfortable feeling,
but I just have had to accept that
you'll come back to me. You'll you'll get
to a point where you can, like,
deal. Some sometimes I just need to
get through it Mhmm. Myself, and there's nothing
that anybody can
I know? And I know that. I know
that. I know that for myself as well.
And yet, I desperately wanna be the one
that makes it better for you. No. I
don't think that's healthy. I don't think that's
healthy.
And and, you know, maybe I'm
added wisdom for every fucking gray hair I've
added. And I just I understand it now.
And, like, it's not I don't need to
cheer you up. Now I will say, and
I think this is because I probably am
better
to an extent hiding
where my mind is at. Not always because
you get I'm an open book with you
for the
most part. Mhmm. You
I part of it, I think, is your
depression. These past few years have been rough.
My people pleasing
service missive
can't handle somebody being unhappy
self
focuses on trying to cheer you up and
had to break myself with that. You are
not
that's not your default. Like, you want me
to be happy. You don't want me to
be
unhappy.
No.
But I I wonder if it's the the
vigilance thing. You you don't clock where my
head is at as quickly as I clock
your mood. True.
And then I'm trying to fix it.
Not always healthy.
I don't know. Maybe it's a maturity thing.
You are not always trying to fix my
mood. Or did I just teach you from
very early on that my mood can't be
fixed until I want it to be. I
don't know. And and, you know, and that
that is kind of what it is. I
You're smarter than me. I I have noticed,
you know, many times when you get when
you are in
one of those moods,
I'm best to just
You know what? And you're right. You're a
100% right. There's no world in which you
can win that. It because I will I
I will snap because of whatever is going
on in my head, and then I get
to feel the guilt of having snapped at
the man I love and also my daddy
dom. And then all those feelings. I don't
want any of those feelings.
And yet there is still this little kid
part of me
who never had somebody
as a kid go, are you okay?
You know, what do you need? I'm here
for you.
That's my own issue and shit to work
out.
That thinks that's what I want.
And I know realistically,
if you there are times you could do
it, but what am I supposed to do?
Wave a flag when this is the right
time to do it? I don't even know
fucking know if it's the right time to
do it.
But that is really about
shit that I have to work through and
I have to deal with because it's never
like, when you feel like when you realize,
oh, I I done fucked up. You're coming
as soon as, like, it's we're not, like,
we've calmed down. You're coming to repair. You're
coming to say you're sorry. You're coming to
check on me because you know, oh, I
I caused that. That that one was my
bad. But when it's just, like,
the air wafted wrong against my face and
my hair touched my cheek or something, and
now I'm overstimulated and pissed off and I
dropped something because I'm a klutz and I
and
you know
to just
back up.
The problem is you don't piss me off
and do wrong things often enough for me
to get the, hey, baby girl.
I'm here. Can we talk? What can I
do for you?
You're too busy, like, taking care of me
on the front end, so I don't even
fucking notice.
And you're too busy not hurting my feelings
on purpose or accidentally or through your own
actions.
I'm over here hurting my own feeling.
So, yeah, I think the biggest thing is
learning that I don't I'm not supposed to
cheer you up always. I can't. It's impossible.
I mean, there there are times
with you where, you know, I may try
to dip my toes in the water and
kinda gauge, feel it out a little bit.
I think that's what yeah. Like, if I
if I snark a little bit and I
crack, like, I'm, like, just a sarcastic shit
and you chuckle, I'm in,
we can joke. I can't be boisterous.
Mhmm. But I can say shit. Maybe I
can even talk to you. So, yeah, that
that feeling out of where you're at, yeah,
I I would say that's a 100% a
part of of it as well. And that
is
growth.
It was was not
from my perspective, I was not always like
that. So maybe that's an aging wisdom maturing
thing, and I just had to get there.
Okay.
I think this one's gonna be the last
one because we did not speed run like
I thought was a speed run. Mhmm. This
one I put in here because, technically, we've
done this for 50% of the way of
this.
So this is the from the oldest episode
18.
Wow.
Holy
shit.
So in 2018.
Wow. Holy
shit.
So in 2018,
our youngest,
depending on what part of the year we
were in when we did this, was 13.
Now the oldest was 13. The youngest was
eight or nine, depending on where we were
in the year. Mhmm.
Fucking babies. They are now 20 and 16,
still babies, but different kinds of babies. Yeah.
And we
did an episode on raising sex positive kink
friendly kids
and being age appropriate and being talking to
your children
about
sex ed and raising them to not be
kink shaming without ever talking about kinks and
saying the word kink and saying the word
BDSM,
because
we were keeping it age appropriate Mhmm.
For a 13 and a nine year old.
So
our update from that,
the oldest,
he's gonna be alright.
In high school, because of the education we
provided, the way we talked about sex, the
things we made sure they the kids understood
about consent and about, you know,
please don't get anybody pregnant. I'm too fucking
young to be a grandma. I'm still too
young. 20 is very young. Please try not
to do that.
The oldest was sort of the sex ed
guy amongst his His friends. His group. Yeah.
Like, when they he was, like, when they
would say something so fucked up and wrong
about sex, I just had to correct them.
He'd be like, really? It's like
Exactly.
And now, you know, I don't know everything.
And and now that he's he's got a
a partner in his life, he needs his
mom a lot less than his junior year
of college, which is not a problem. It's
fine. I'll adjust.
But those first two years of college, he
was we were talking a lot, and he
would share a lot with me. And his
his sex positivity, but also his understanding
of consent and
being very protective
of
his friends, his his female friends.
Part of that is because of who he
is, obviously. Part of that's because of what
we taught him. And I know that if
we had not had those conversations, he would
not have had to think about that. And
being in college, he has
had friends who either before they met him
had not good
we I'm not gonna say it because I
didn't put a trigger warning in, but you
know what kind of experiences those girls have
had
with boys and men in their life. And
then
he was
with one friend when as a thing was
happening,
and he was helping
her navigate that.
And then some of the the drama of
18, 19, and 20 year olds afterwards.
I've learned way more than I needed to
know about people I will never lay eyes
on.
But he has carried that
forward into his adult life, and he's more
of a fierce
protector advocate.
You know? He's like, he will tell me
things. It's so wild. It is so wild.
I know how, air quote, typical guys
reacted when I was the sage to to
rejection, to this, to that. I think anybody
of any age
who, you know,
feminine appearing,
cis female, just lives
life as a woman in some way or
just appears to be a woman
in any way. What is that?
Oh my god. I can't think of my
terms.
Assigned female at birth and socialized as female.
Right?
There's a reaction
you get from
from guys when they're getting rejected and it's
not good.
And my oldest will talk me through how
he's feeling when he's like, yeah. You know,
she said no. And I had to go,
okay. You know, just try to be cool
and not, like, you know, be weird. I'm
not trying to, like, freak anybody out. I'm
just whatever. It happens. And the way he
talks about rejection, I love it because he's
like, it happens.
You know? And he's gone through heartbreak, and
I've been on the phone with him while
his heart is breaking. Yeah. But he doesn't
you know? And, again, I don't know how
much of it is our influence and how
much of it was just we had him
in the right environment and he had a
good set of friends and, you know, it's
the twenty first century, and so some information
is just more and different than we woulda
had when we were kids.
But, like, I'm very proud of him as
a human to begin with, but I feel
like I can see the fruits of our
labor of sitting through all of those very
uncomfortable conversations.
Oh my god. There's uncomfortable
conversations.
Now we'll say once that child turned 18,
I did not run out and tell him
stuff. No. And I wanna have those uncomfortable
conversations,
but I would not,
You you held back a lot less. Oh,
yeah. Don't ask me a question and think
you're gonna shock your mom. I'm a shock
the shit out of you and give you
the real
answer. The youngest is different.
The youngest
got a lot of that education at a
very young age because they were just there
while their big brother was there.
These days we have to approach it differently
with the youngest. The youngest is not gonna
come ask a bunch of questions.
The youngest is not super curious.
So
to get them more
open to
let's
talk about these things so that you can
know what these things are and we can
I can raise a second sex positive educated
child,
we would drive down the road and play
word games?
What's the p word? And I'd have to
think of as many words as I could
and then it would be okay. Well, what
is that? And then next thing you know,
I'm like, you know,
driving down there going all the p words
and like a lot of words are coming
out of my mouth. And I'm like, what
do you think that word is? That's a
thing I learned as a parent. Instead of
just automatically
telling them something or thinking I know they
that they understand the term, I go, what
do you think that term means? Get yourself
out of a lot of trouble that way.
Because
the oldest one day, I've I've told this
story before, I came home and asked about
the p word and was whispering it and
didn't run. I'm thinking, oh, there's a lot
of p words. Which p word? And then
it was porn. And I was like, oh,
baby. You could I wouldn't have liked it,
but you could've said that word.
So, yeah, you gotta you gotta ask, what
do you mean?
That child,
the youngest,
is very aware of consent,
very aware of predators online,
not necessarily in a great way, but is
aware of them, and is able to because
we have kept the lines of communication open,
will come will be very honest with us
about who they are as a person,
both in terms of identity and sexuality.
They just don't give me quite as many
opportunities, easy opportunities
to talk about those things with them, but
they got a lot of it when they
were young and now it's more of a
a touching base and going, hey, let's talk
about this thing.
Hey. And they like to crack jokes, inappropriate
jokes at the dinner table. They still have
not learned that that is I just see
that as an opportunity. Well, now we have
to talk about sex and king in an
age appropriate way.
The oldest figured that shit out real fucking
quick. Yeah. He did.
The youngest is like, I'm gonna make a
penis joke at dinner. And I'm like, oh,
okay. That's my opening.
But
yeah. So
I I think
I think the oldest they're, you know, they're
a baby adult. 20 is so fucking young.
Oh, if you're a 20 year old out
there, I'm so glad you're here. You are
an adult, but but you're so young. There's
so much ahead of you, hopefully. Fingers crossed.
And
just like I've learned with you, I can't
fix everything. I can't make everything better. Mhmm.
I am
that skill is transferring to the kids.
I can't fix their problems. I never could
fix their problems. Their problems were beyond me.
I was like, I am probably
too anxious or too neurospicy
for whatever that is. I don't
but,
yeah, I feel like when I do the
update of raising these sex positive kink friendly
kids, I feel like the oldest check that
one. Just
Oh, yeah. The youngest has got they're going
through stuff. They're doing shit they shouldn't do,
and we're having to
respond accordingly. Yeah.
The quiet one. You'd think the quiet one
would just be the quiet the quiet one
is keeping us on our fucking toes. Okay?
Yeah. You gotta watch the quiet ones. You
do have to watch the quiet ones.
But, yeah, we're we're 50% of the way
there. And
Yeah.
So yeah. Mhmm.
But,
so those are our updates.
Mhmm. A lot has changed and yet not
I don't think in drastic ways. Not drastic.
Yeah. Slightly larger changes. Most of it's subtleties.
It's shifts. It's
we've learned how to handle things better.
So or we've learned what things are that
we didn't have names for before. Or
we did
we survived, like,
crazy shit together,
kind of were forged in fire together.
That's a good way to put it. Thankfully,
came out have come out on the other
side stronger for it. You know, that's not
always the case. It really you know, we
know that. I know that.
But, yeah, I thought, you know, I'm not
gonna do an not in the next couple
years, another aging in kink
conversation, not unless there's something new to to
say.
I don't really feel like I should do
a whole episode on, let me tell you
about my sex life now that I want
sex again. Like, I don't I don't see
me doing that, not anytime soon.
So, yeah, these are just
after ten years, and we didn't we only
went back to 2018. After ten years, we
talked about a lot of shit. And anybody
who's
listened from the very beginning, whether you're an
OG or you just went back to the
catalog,
good lord, I'm I'm impressed.
You can hear it. Like, things have shifted.
We talk about things differently. Hopefully, we talk
about them better than we did before. I
god help me still stumble.
But
I think there's a core of we are
who we are, but also
you grow, you learn. Ideally, you do that
together.
You do things differently. Things you would wouldn't
have worked in 2014,
we do in 2025
because they work now, because they have to
work. Mhmm. Or because we've hit a a
point in our life, I think, or
age or time in the relationship or something
or just life experiences
where we're like, I just don't have fucking
time for whatever that was. Then we gotta
do it this way because this is what
gets you through the day and we can
move on and do something else, you know.
I don't think we've compromised our power exchange
for that. I don't think we've compromised
just compromised on things that probably used to
feel super, super important, and this is how
it needs to be done for us. And
now we're like, nah. Nah. I ain't got
time for that.
So,
yeah, that's our update.
We can do a bonus section. Okay.
So,
are we good?
I have no idea. I have no idea.
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll hopefully see
you on Friday and the next week.
Daddy. Yes, please. I know you're still trying
to hit buttons and make them do what
you want them to do.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I know. I was sitting
in silence, but there comes a point where
even the podcast listeners are like, did something
cut out on the audio?
Yeah. I know.
So can we talk to the crickets? Go
ahead.
We're here. Mhmm.
Tomorrow, day after recording, day before the podcast
episode comes out audio only,
is the 20 year old's
first concert of the semester Mhmm. And we
hit the ground running.
And there's one this week. There's one next
week. I have to confirm that because I
was like, oh, man. It is it. I
don't know. They don't usually do on this
soon in that particular group. And then there's
one I think either the next week or
the week after, and then there's two in
the same week in October.
I don't see us doing both of them.
No. I just don't see it happening.
And the
the oldest
upgraded
his band instrument with the help of his
grandmother. Mhmm. And then I'd have an adult
conversation if we do not just call our
grandmother when we want something from her. You
have to have a relationship with her on
some level. If you love you know, you
love her, you like her, she's not a
bad person, and also you want her help
financially,
that should not be the only time she
hears from you. Mhmm. Like
Yeah. Be a good grandkid. She don't expect
your attention all the time. You're a busy
kid. She gets it, but, like, just be
mindful. But he's having she's there. Right.
Don't leave her on red. Okay? Just fucking
say good morning back every once in a
while.
But that giganto instrument is coming to our
house. Yeah. And I am praying that it
does not come when it's supposed to, and
we don't have to haul it on the
same night. We're having to do a concert,
which makes us very tired the next day
because it's late at night because we're old
people.
And we do we don't we don't stay
up late like we used to could.
But I do know that that means if
we can't give it to him the day
of that we're gonna be there, then I
have to make a trip back over the
weekend, and I kinda don't wanna do that
either.
Yeah.
But, yeah, we get to go see like,
look. We can't hear the child. He's part
of a group of, like, a 100. Okay?
I can usually, if I'm lucky, see the
top of his fucking head, but that's about
it.
But just just
I like to be there.
We live so close,
and this is my only chance to be
a band parent anymore. And I fucking love
it. Love it. Love it. But it
we're old and tired. And because it's college
students, they're gonna perform, like, at night. This
is not
middle school band. They'll perform at, like, 04:00
in the afternoon. No. No. You go in
at night, it's gonna be dark when you
get there probably and definitely dark when you
leave. Yeah.
So, yeah, that's what we're doing this week.
What else have you got? Did I get
oh, I got the thing that was flying
around.
Sorry for that tap. That would've messed with
anybody's ears. I mean, me, really, I've I've
basically just been working a lot. Mhmm. You
know?
Between
thekinkery.com
and
thekinkery.com.
You gotta say it right, daddy.
Just saying. Nobody can say it like you
do.
I gotta have something, you know.
Gotta have something that makes me special.
You know, I've been doing a lot of,
wood dump stuff too in between. You have.
Mhmm. Assuming,
we still have camera ability
like we do today. Oh, lord. I'm sorry.
The visual is not great.
Maybe we could do a show and tell.
Yeah. What what you've been actively working on,
like, the majority the bulk of your time
this week is,
diabolical sticks for the kinkery at thekinkery.com.
Diabolical's
evils and
mini delrin's.
But the diabolical Turn. Turn. Turn. Halloween diabolical.
Yeah. And we have
a new style coming that I did in
two separate colorways
that looks so fucking cool.
And
yeah. Like, the first year we did Halloween
diabolical, we didn't get them out till, like,
mid October, which is not when you're supposed
to put your Halloween stuff out, by the
way, if you didn't know. But we were,
like, oh, we're gonna do this, and then
we did not plan well. Then last year,
we planned really well, and, like, on September
1 or Labor Day or something. Yeah. We
had them all out. And even the Christmas
ones were We're coming. Like, we're almost done.
I know. I haven't even poured the Christmas
and the and not even just Christmas, winter
holiday dye box. I haven't poured those yet.
And now
we're mid to, like, late
September. We're getting in and we're like, we're
gonna have them.
And we've done something we've done something well
because I'm getting people reaching out on, like,
Instagram going, are these coming back? Are these
coming back?
They are.
Yes. They are.
So,
but it's
it's one of the things I feel I
don't feel guilty about it. I don't wanna
make it sound like I'm always walking around
feeling,
but I wish there was more I could
do because to do diabolicals, they're done in
kind of stages. We I poured the the
top the tip, the resin tip. If you're
not aware of what a diabolical stick is,
it's got a resin tip. It's got a
resin handle, and it's connected by carbon fiber
rod.
Resin tips, I can pour whenever, and I
do. I have we have buckets of tips
that are not Halloween that are waiting.
And JB wants to be in a position
where he just turns and we just have
them ready and we just put them together
as we need them. But to do that,
there is
the sheer amount of turning. I'm like, you've
got to be so sick and fucking tired
of turning at this point.
Yeah. Like, if I if my math is
correct,
you've turned between di balical sticks, evil sticks,
and the mini delrin canes.
You've turned 70 plus handles this week. Yeah.
This week alone. Mhmm.
Y'all that's a lot of fucking turning.
Tomorrow,
turn some more. Mhmm.
And then Friday, focus on
doing
the, finishing touches
on the handles and then start assembling everything.
Mhmm. And then, yeah, what you don't get
finished this week, probably be working on next
week. And Right.
Yeah. Yep. Yep. So
it's a nice problem to have.
It's just I don't like it that I
can't do more to help you. I wanna
do more. I know. I do what I
can, and what I do I know what
I do is enough. I'm doing other shit.
But I'm always I'm always over to go,
daddy, what can I do to help you?
You know, things things are are are thankfully
going
very well,
with with the business, and,
I'm actually considering looking into getting a second
bandsaw.
Mhmm.
Yeah. You've
mostly out of necessity, you've you've upgraded a
couple of things. Yeah.
Yep. Yep.
But they they do the job, and then
we can do the job, and then Mhmm.
Life is good. Mhmm.
Yeah. The the new lathe is amazing. I
think that's why you have turned 70 plus
handles.
Yeah.
Yeah. This week alone. And that's on top
of doing other stuff, y'all. He's been Yes.
The Resin inlays, the handles, and all kinds
of stuff.
Yeah. And and like I say, I'm just
grateful that the weather has broke so I
can I know? Work like this.
You know, we're
we're we're experiencing Florida autumn, which is like
summer for most everybody. I know. Normal summer
for everybody. Is it a false fall, or
do you think we're really starting to maybe
get into it? Well, you know,
I I I thought it was false Mhmm.
But the the temperatures are have looking steady
for the next Mhmm. Several weeks. And it's
very pleasant at six, seven, eight, 09:00 in
the morning to walk out the door into
the open air and not feel like you're
breathing through cotton. This morning It was so
delightful. This morning, it was 68 degrees Fahrenheit
and no humidity. Mhmm. It's that no humidity
thing. Yep.
Feels so good.
Yeah. I'm pouring I've been pouring a lot
of resin lately, and I'm not dripping with
sweat. Right? Yeah. It's delightful.
I actually work most of the morning without
even realizing it that I never turned the
little fan on. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Yeah.
So
Yeah. We're just
it's busy. This is we're coming into the
busy time of year for the Cancri, which,
again, is a wonderful problem to have. Mhmm.
But it it's
I think we're
I've I've said this a couple times, and
every year, you know, we get closer to
whatever our top limit is, our uppermost limit
of what we can produce and, you know,
still have a life to live.
It's hard though. The the,
urge to keep up with demand,
it's there, but, man, the
Jimmy would burn out so fucking quickly if
he tried to we did three restocks of
the Lego, but we legally have to call
them building brick diabolical sticks.
And
and they were gone. They were gone so
fast. People were so mad at me. I
got so many messages. I was like, I'm
sorry. It was the third restock, and they're
gone again. Yeah. I mean, I did a
restock for the Labor Day sale. Mhmm.
Then I did a that sold out, and
then there's You actually did a restock prior
to the Labor Day sale. That's right. They
were gone. You did a restock for the
Labor Day sale. Mhmm. They were gone about
less than a week later. While the Labor
Day sale was still going on, you did
a third restock. They were gone.
And and that and that's why this time,
I was like, no. I'm not thinking I'm
not gonna do a quick restock. I'm just
gonna buckle down, and I'm just gonna this
is I'm focusing on this. Mhmm. And I'm
just gonna turn my ass and turn, turn,
turn. You're gonna turn your ass, That sounds
kinky.
Look, I know you'd you've got some toy
up under your shorts when you're working. It's
I mean, so if you're gonna turn your
ass around, I'll or turn your ass off.
Turn your ass. Whatever you're doing with your
ass. Yeah. Oh, you know. I'm Yeah.
I'm here for it. I'm here for it.
No. But, yeah, that's that's the thing with
the, looking at the the next another band
saw right now. The,
the big one I've got set up, I
do what they call resawing
on that. It's a very it's a big
blade.
And, basically,
take a board
instead of cutting it, like, this way Like
in half. Cutting it. So you cut along
the
The grain. The grain. So let's say it's
an inch thick piece of wood. I'm just
throwing out easy numbers. I can cut that
in half and have two half inch pieces.
Exactly. Right. So So that that's what the
resaw means.
But,
I've also
been having need for a a,
like, a one eighth inch blade where it
can do
tight
bandsaw work.
And,
yeah, that's that's kinda where I'm at. And,
you know,
that's my goal before the end of the
year.
Yeah.
We're
fingers crossed.
We're working towards
it. Yeah.
We've
I I have realized we've
grown.
We're not a big company by any stretch.
There's no stretch of the imagination where you
say we're a big company. We are bigger
than we were a couple years ago, and
I am realizing
that our reach is a little bit further,
and we appear to be bigger than we
are because there are people who do not
realize it is literally just the two of
us.
It's like, nope. Nope. It's it's just
dom sub,
husband, wife Mhmm. Two crazy motherfuckers
who just wanna work for themselves.
It's just us, y'all. It's just us.
That's always a trip because I just, for
a while, I was like, I just assume
everybody knows.
Everybody does not know. Silent
we are currently not speaking of the CNC
machine.
No. There's not been progress. I've wanted to
ask, but there's never been a good time
to ask, so I'm not asking. This is
not me asking.
We'll get to it when we get to
it. Yeah.
Right right now, yeah, it is it I
had to put it to the side.
I I just have not had
the time to devote. Also, the I think
the the
bandwidth because it's a challenge that you have
to be able to focus Yeah. And investigate
and learn Mhmm. And then tinker with and
go back and forth and
yeah.
I'm almost say it's more emotional energy
at this point than it is anything physical.
So
I think she wanted
She's done with us. Logos like, look, I
have wandered. I've been in my car. I
went outside. I've laid next to my daddy.
I've given him puppy dog eyes. I'm done
with you people. You've been in here too
fucking long. Yeah.
Yeah.
So So You know,
I'm I'm doing what I can do. That's
all you can do. That's all you can
do. And I am learning
to relax.
I don't mean relax like, oh, take time
off. But, like,
up in this is the first year I
think that, yes, I am aware that we
need more product. If we have more product,
we'd have more sales, blah, blah, blah. All
those things, I'm aware. But I am working
very,
all those things I'm aware, but I am
working very hard to not let that
become so stressful. I can't function and have
that overwhelm. Mhmm. Because all it ended up
doing was having me push you harder, which
that's not fair. You're doing what you can
do. I think what I've managed to do
to mitigate that is I just try to
do more. I'm like, what can I do?
What do you need? What can I like,
what skill can you teach me that does
not involve a blade?
Because
I'll
Yeah. I'll cut the shit. Look. I was
just,
cleaning up some resin because there was a
little bit of an overpour on a piece
and sliced the shit out of my thigh.
It wasn't even a blade.
It was just dried resin. Resin. Cured resin.
And and and, Tae Shoo, you know,
an old office
office printer and a a sledgehammer?
Mhmm. I'd have some fun. For anybody not
looking at live chat, Tae Shoo said, JB,
do you need me to send you a
broken printer to beat up office space style?
Which that just reminds me. I I told
JB
recently, I need to I keep seeing things
that are, like, from movies I watched as
a teenager and that are nostalgic
that are still kinda out there. Like, there'll
be clips or memes. I'm like, I need
to make a list
of movies that I
saw as a kid, as a teenager that
I fucking loved,
and we need to just watch them. And
I'm I now Office Space has to be
on it.
Dogma was rereleased for a limited run yesterday
or the day before. This week sometime, I
would kill to go see that. Fucking love
Dogma when it first came when I first
saw it. I didn't see it in the
theaters when it first came out. Chain Silent
Bob, man. Chain Silent Bob. Yep.
But and now Lola wants it? No. Lola
doesn't want and she wants us on the
couch, doesn't she?
Is it time for her high value treat?
She has not had her treat yet tonight.
So she is very annoyed with us. Treat.
Yeah. And and, x, thank you.
You know, if when I
get back into it, I may reach out
to you. That's about the CNC machine. Yeah.
I did learn. Am I correct in remembering
you've never seen the movie Titanic?
Correct. We have to watch that one. I
haven't. I I need you to weigh in
on do you think Jack could've fit on
the door? Even if you don't know what
that reference is. I yeah. I can't. Okay.
Because I saw somebody,
some science, somebody, somebody prove
that it would that it would not have
worked
for him to be on the door.
But I was
14,
15 when I saw that movie. I was
just crying at the tragedy of it all.
I wasn't
I I I didn't
clock that. Now I need to see it
again so I can, like
oh, Tati says Rocky Horror Picture Show is
coming back to theaters for a limited run.
Oh, I would watch that too.
Do you know my first experience with Rocky
Horror Picture Show? I was in
my very late twenties. I might have been
30 before I saw Rocky Horror Picture Show
fully and in a theater
where everybody was doing the stuff and dressed
up. Oh, yeah. I was, like, 29, 30.
I was, I had my big girl corporate
job, and I that's when I was I
was 17 when I saw Rocky Horror. My
mother was about the same age as you,
and then she was one of those so
funny because my mom does not come across
as somebody who would, like, wild out to
Rocky Horror Picture Show, but apparently, she and
her friends
went to multiple
showings, that was the midnight showings or whatever.
Yeah. Yep. Yeah. My you no. But no.
Nobody who knows my mother would think, oh,
yeah. That was some you? I'm like, yeah.
Of course, she fucking went to Rocky Horror.
But, yeah, I was, like, I was, like,
30.
So
Yeah. She she was very happy when I
gave her
her treat. She had that big,
pity smile, and she just pranced over to
her her treat eating corner.
I mean Do you have Rocky Horror?
No.
I was gonna say maybe
maybe that needs to be a movie night
option.
Rocky Horror Picture Yeah.
X says, I saw Titanic in theaters. Me
too. My mom and I went and saw
that movie together. You're bald. I don't know
what changed. Cried so hard.
On YouTube,
but I'm just getting bombarded
with ads. And that's YouTube serving the ads
up because I don't have ads turned on
for live streams. So that's YouTube going, oh,
we're gonna make money whether you're not getting
a cent, but we're gonna show ads. And
they're they're they overlay the Mhmm.
Mhmm. It's not even a a break in
the thing. It's just it overlays
in every couple
minutes.
So Anyhow We have to stop, or we
won't have enough to talk about on Friday.
On Friday. We'll find it. We'll talk about
bacon. We're coming up
soon enough on it's time for fall and
winter,
desserts and treats. We can talk about those
foods. Absolutely.
Right now, I am enjoying not everything pumpkin
spice because some of that shit what are
we doing? Why is that pumpkin spice flavored?
But I am enjoying the things that make
sense to have be pumpkin and pumpkin spice.
And JB is starting to get to enjoy
apple, all things apple. Mhmm.
Mhmm. It's that time. Yeah. And soon it
will be winter.
Excuse me.
So
Alright. I guess we should go then, Yeah.
Oh my gosh. It's almost 09:00. I know.
I know. And here we are. I am.
Well, we did, like, we didn't get last
weekend. That's a lot of pent up. I
have things to say to people.
You're not doing what you gotta do. True.
True. True. Okay. Okay. Maybe at this week's
livestream,
y'all can help me make the list of
the nostalgic
late eighties,
nineties movies. Some early eighties that, like, ended
up coming up on TBS and I watched
reruns. Like, Mr. Mom. I'd fucking watch that
shit again. So I could clock all the
sexism, I'm sure, and other problematic stuff. But
I'd watch Mr. Mom again
because that's where we got the term
whoopie. Yeah. Which we don't even use that
term anymore because you don't think any anymore.
No. You don't have a whoopie. No. I
don't have a whoopie anymore. We need you
to I don't want you to vape. I'm
glad I'm glad you don't. I'm glad you,
you know, whatever. But you need a whoopie
because I don't get to refer to whoopies
anymore.
No.
I just realized that. Anyway, we gotta
go. Hopefully, we will Yeah. See you, talk
to you, however the all that works. Probably
will. One way or another. Friday night livestream.
Mhmm. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Okay. Bye. Bye.