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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four fifty three. K. The Lord's here with

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the one, the only, the you're perky. You're

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doing good. But, man, you got a little

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eye swelling, and I it makes heart hurt

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for you, John Brownstone. Yeah. I know. You

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look miserable. Do you feel miserable?

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It it comes and goes.

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Mhmm. So, yeah, I haven't had a bit

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of a allergic reaction to some wood. Yes.

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Which is not the first time it's happened.

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No. Hopefully, it'll be the last. Yeah. We're

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working on it. I think this is,

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I think I finally dredged the last piece

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of that wood out of the shop now.

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And then I didn't let you touch it

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again while you were having your allergic reaction.

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This has nothing to do with the topic,

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but I I have to say this. JB's

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like, this wood, this is the wood I

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think is causing my allergic reaction. I'm gonna

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toss it over, blah blah blah. Yeah. I

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was like, okay. And I didn't think anything

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of it. And then, like, I don't know,

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half a day later, full day, I don't

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know. I went, wait. How about I walk

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the wood out there? How about I put

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it in my hands

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and touch it and toss it and get

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rid of it? How about you don't get

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anywhere near it? He was like, oh,

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yeah.

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You know, it's funny. Every it seems every

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woodworker

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has a wood that is their kryptonite. And

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this one is yours? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I

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I tossed it. Oh, you did. Thank you.

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I mean, I I put some, like, oomph

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into it. It went flying. It's gone.

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Back in the woods where it belongs. Not

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on our property. Right. Anyway, that's that's not

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what we're here for, but I just, you

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know Yeah. Wanted to share. I've been I've

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been desperate to tell somebody

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that

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story. Okay.

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What we're actually talking, about this week is

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the, and I'm air quoting this, normalization

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and,

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mainstreaming

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of kink, if that's what's happening or if

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kink just keeps going viral in the weirdest

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ways.

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Or maybe it's a little bit of both.

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Who the hell knows? Welcome to the Loving

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BDSM podcast. If this is your first time

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listening, glad to have you. If you're back

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for another week, welcome back. Loving BDSM is

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produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure in

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education, and show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram, and technically threads at that handle

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I will forever motherfucking

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hate. Oh my god. It makes me so

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mad to even think about.

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That handle is loving d s and the

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number one, so it's at loving d s

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one.

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On Blue Sky at loving b d s

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m dot blah blah blah blah, whatever comes

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after that on Blue Sky, I don't care.

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It's fine. It's easy to find. Over on

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YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm

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where you can watch us live stream the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes. Big thanks as always to our

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kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our newest

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peeps. We, get to keep being fucking weirdos

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on the Internet because of our, kinky community

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on Patreon. Mhmm. And we are grateful for

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every fucking body over there. Oh my god.

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If you would like to join our kinky

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community, help us keep being weirdos on the

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Internet,

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and get access to extra content in a

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Discord super

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server a Discord

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server?

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What are words

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with a group of super

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cool kinksters?

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You could do that. Just go to

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patreon.com/kaylalords.

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That's patreon.com/kaylalords,

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or use the link in the show notes.

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There you go. I'm not even noticing the

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heat. So

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okay. So before we get into

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the topic,

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I have

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one announcement.

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Just the one.

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It's very simple.

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It is no longer Labor Day here in

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The United States, but our Labor Day sale

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is still a thing, and it is happening.

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And you could save 15%

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off, at the kinkery. Thekinkery.com.

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Don't mind Lola's snorty Yeah. Nasal sounds. I

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didn't even know what that was myself. It

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was a little gross. Yeah.

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It was giving

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old man wakes up first thing in the

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morning and has to clear a lung. That's

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what it was giving.

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Thanks for helping me promote the cankery, Lola,

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thecankery.com.

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15% off with the coupon code labor day

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twenty five,

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all one word, no spaces.

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That runs through 11:50

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fifty nine PM eastern

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this Friday,

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September 5. So for podcast listeners, it is

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literally the day that this Mhmm. Episode goes

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live.

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You did a big paddle restock. We have

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sold out of some things. We are still

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working on restocks. Mhmm. It is my hope.

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Fingers crossed that we can maybe get a

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small little restocks in before the end of

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the sale. Yeah. But we're working on it.

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We're doing our best.

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Okay. That is the announcement.

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Cool.

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Okay. So the pressure is on. Uh-oh. This

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topic was one I wanted to make sure

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I knew what the hell I was trying

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to talk about.

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I,

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sat down. I lost actual time. Time had

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no meaning for a couple of hours while

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I got my thoughts together, and I read

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some articles, and I watched some videos and

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to compile

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so many notes. This is a note heavy

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episode. I have to look at what because

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I won't nope. Don't

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do not count on Swiss cheese brain to

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remember this on its own. I gotta I

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gotta look at the my thing. My Google

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Doc. What are words? See? I'm already there.

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And

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the conversation

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about

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the

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again, heavy on the air quotes. Normalization of

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kink is not a new one. Mhmm.

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It's not a new one in the twenty

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twenties. It's not

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a new one

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ever. And we will get into that a

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little bit as we kinda

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go down this.

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I was going over these notes with JB,

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and I was telling him some of the

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things that have sort of, like, gone viral.

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And his eyebrows went all the way up

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to the top of his forehead.

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I was like, this is what you get

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for not being on TikTok. I'm not on

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TikTok either, but I still am kind of

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paying attention.

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And that's where this episode came from because

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within about a week's time, like, from one

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Friday to the next Friday, I saw two

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articles come through and I went, what the

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hell is happening out there in the world?

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The first and this was not new information.

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We had seen this years ago ago

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that

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the act of choking, not what kinksters would

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consider, like, erotic asphyxiation, but, like, strangulation

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Mhmm. Of a partner, typically heterosexual sex, but

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not

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always, without talking about it, without consent

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is depending on the surveys you see, is

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way up in young people having sex.

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I've seen different reports over the years from,

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like, forty percent

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to sixty percent. Like, people just expect it

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to happen now, apparently. That's terrifying.

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And the article I saw was that it

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has it's now so normalized

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that

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UK sex ed, like, criteria, I guess, that

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they put together, now requires there be some

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requires there be some, like, lesson on, actually,

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don't just choke a partner out of nowhere.

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You could kill them. Like, there's, like, a

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whole part. So that was one article.

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And then the next article I saw, and

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I think I saw the choking before I

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saw the second one.

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And the you know I know that titles

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are clickbait. They need they need clicks. They

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need eyes on that. So these sites make

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their money. I get it. I get it.

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I get it. But basically

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it was how spitting

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into your partner's open mouth

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without conversation and consent

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is air quote normal now. And it's like

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And that's once I saw that article that

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was not the the that was first time

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I saw it, but that was not the

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last time. It's come up a few times

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since then in the different places where I'm

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consuming media.

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Now,

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spitting,

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choking, they are not that's not BDSM as

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a whole. Those are

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acts that can be sexualized. They might come

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under the umbrella of BDSM. They might just

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be part of, you know, rough sex. I

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think it becomes semantics about how you wanna

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classify those things. But those things are

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heavily associated with kinky things. And so to,

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you know, it makes sense that this is

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part of the conversation. Mhmm. So that's where

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the idea

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for this episode was born.

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Because I was like, what is happening here?

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What the because first I was like, go

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UK

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for, like, you know, recognizing this is a

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big issue and, like, putting some kind of

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something into their educational system. America could never.

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We just no. No. There's comprehensive sex ed.

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Why would we do that? Now The UK

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system is not perfect. There's a lot of

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shit that's come out of The UK that's

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transphobic and like just awful awful. Thanks, Quinn.

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I I got your email by the way

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for reminding me of that.

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But

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that one little like

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sliver

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was needed. It's necessary,

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but it's just part of an overall thing

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where we are now currently in one of

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many cycles

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Mhmm. Of conversation over the air quote normalization

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of BDSM. So kinda wanted to talk about

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it because the things that I have been

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aware of

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in my current view before you and I

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have a conversation and we can kinda think

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through so many things, I don't see it

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as a normalization of BDSM. I see it

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as,

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virality and porn and lack of sex ed.

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And there's a lot of reasons these things

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are, like,

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proliferating, but it's not because

270
00:09:39,019 --> 00:09:41,705
anybody's like, oh, shucks. We're all kinky now.

271
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,065
Are we? Are we? So that's kind of,

272
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:45,445
you know

273
00:09:46,165 --> 00:09:47,925
Mhmm. Mhmm. The premise I had, and I

274
00:09:47,925 --> 00:09:49,605
put this in my notes because Swiss cheese

275
00:09:49,605 --> 00:09:52,644
brain, was that is kink actually being normalized

276
00:09:52,644 --> 00:09:54,805
in this way? The acts of kink, the

277
00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:56,805
certain topics we're gonna cover that have kind

278
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,220
of come up over the past couple years?

279
00:09:58,220 --> 00:09:59,580
Or is it being co opted? Is it

280
00:09:59,580 --> 00:10:01,340
being co opted as a promotional thing? Is

281
00:10:01,340 --> 00:10:03,820
it being co opted because there's virality to

282
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,500
it and you'll get big numbers if you

283
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,659
just say a thing on the Internet whether

284
00:10:07,659 --> 00:10:10,159
there's any truth behind it? Like, I don't

285
00:10:10,220 --> 00:10:12,455
think that this episode is gonna answer that

286
00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:14,875
question and I think it's a very nuanced

287
00:10:15,095 --> 00:10:18,235
conversation because it's it's all context dependent. Right?

288
00:10:19,095 --> 00:10:21,434
A lot of what I'm gonna point out

289
00:10:21,735 --> 00:10:24,294
is not started maybe it's maybe it was

290
00:10:24,294 --> 00:10:25,754
started by, but it's not really

291
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:30,300
content created by or directed by the actual

292
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,960
kink community. This is not kink content creators

293
00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:35,360
creating a viral trend. This is not,

294
00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:37,679
you know, kink talk necessarily.

295
00:10:38,059 --> 00:10:40,575
It's more like it seems like some things,

296
00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:43,134
like, left out of kink talk because a

297
00:10:43,134 --> 00:10:44,654
lot of it does start on TikTok these

298
00:10:44,654 --> 00:10:45,955
days. And, like,

299
00:10:46,575 --> 00:10:48,754
was, like, let loose in the wild and

300
00:10:49,134 --> 00:10:51,554
bad things just happened from there. Okay?

301
00:10:52,414 --> 00:10:52,914
So,

302
00:10:53,615 --> 00:10:56,179
I do not think that whatever we end

303
00:10:56,179 --> 00:10:58,100
up thinking in this moment is one, the

304
00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,339
thing will think forever. Two, the only way

305
00:11:00,339 --> 00:11:02,019
to see this kind of topic and to

306
00:11:02,019 --> 00:11:03,079
see these situations.

307
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:04,120
Because

308
00:11:04,820 --> 00:11:06,039
as with all things,

309
00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:08,820
with kink in the genuine, like, oh, I'm

310
00:11:08,820 --> 00:11:09,639
kind of interested,

311
00:11:10,105 --> 00:11:10,605
versus

312
00:11:11,144 --> 00:11:12,845
just what gets put out on the Internet.

313
00:11:12,904 --> 00:11:15,384
You know, the the meaning behind it, the

314
00:11:15,384 --> 00:11:17,544
way it can be interpreted, how it's viewed

315
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:19,785
is as varied as the people viewing it,

316
00:11:19,785 --> 00:11:22,125
right, and consuming that content. So

317
00:11:22,879 --> 00:11:24,240
I don't I'm not saying I'm gonna have

318
00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,980
any answers, but let's let's talk about it.

319
00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:27,539
So

320
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:28,740
notes.

321
00:11:29,279 --> 00:11:30,879
So this is I've said this already. I

322
00:11:30,879 --> 00:11:32,019
definitely wanted to

323
00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:34,480
bring this up because it was interesting for

324
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:35,379
trying to get

325
00:11:35,804 --> 00:11:38,044
my information together for this episode. And that

326
00:11:38,044 --> 00:11:40,684
is the conversation about the normalization of kink

327
00:11:40,684 --> 00:11:41,884
is not a new one. It did not

328
00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,565
happen because TikTok got big. It did not

329
00:11:43,565 --> 00:11:46,284
happen because everybody was bored at home during

330
00:11:46,284 --> 00:11:48,480
a pandemic. Like, that's that's not where this

331
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:50,419
originates from. I would imagine

332
00:11:50,959 --> 00:11:53,459
if I had access to historical documents

333
00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,320
from, like, the time of the Marquis de

334
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,740
Saad or something Mhmm. Somebody wrote a pamphlet

335
00:11:58,879 --> 00:12:01,120
or a newspaper thing that went, oh my

336
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,379
god. These, you know, taboo, nefarious,

337
00:12:03,965 --> 00:12:06,764
sexual things are taking over society. Like, there

338
00:12:06,764 --> 00:12:07,585
was somebody

339
00:12:08,044 --> 00:12:11,165
who, like, discovered a thing and went, oh,

340
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:13,725
no. Everybody's clearly into it because I learned

341
00:12:13,725 --> 00:12:14,625
this thing. Right?

342
00:12:15,004 --> 00:12:16,764
But when I was just doing my searches

343
00:12:17,165 --> 00:12:18,524
Mhmm. To kinda figure out, okay. Well, I

344
00:12:18,524 --> 00:12:20,350
know I've seen some things. What can I,

345
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:21,490
like, pull together?

346
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:24,190
I had to be very careful because this

347
00:12:24,190 --> 00:12:25,330
conversation in

348
00:12:25,710 --> 00:12:27,410
the twenty first century minimum,

349
00:12:27,950 --> 00:12:31,389
right, is cyclical. Mhmm. Almost from what I

350
00:12:31,389 --> 00:12:33,250
could gather from time stamps, dates,

351
00:12:33,715 --> 00:12:35,575
every time something kinky

352
00:12:36,115 --> 00:12:37,014
hits the mainstream

353
00:12:37,554 --> 00:12:37,794
Mhmm.

354
00:12:38,914 --> 00:12:40,754
Either in a positive way or in a

355
00:12:40,754 --> 00:12:43,634
pearl clutchy way, everybody's now talking about the

356
00:12:43,634 --> 00:12:45,715
air quote normalization of kink. And that and

357
00:12:45,715 --> 00:12:48,355
that goes back, I mean, even to, you

358
00:12:48,355 --> 00:12:50,909
know, when when the the Gore books were

359
00:12:50,909 --> 00:12:51,970
published. Mhmm.

360
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,850
Here's something I I did not know.

361
00:12:55,870 --> 00:12:57,950
I just found out today. I was today

362
00:12:57,950 --> 00:12:59,309
years old when I found out that,

363
00:12:59,950 --> 00:13:00,769
Anne Rice,

364
00:13:01,309 --> 00:13:03,570
wrote Beauty and the Beast in 1980.

365
00:13:04,345 --> 00:13:05,705
Okay. I did not realize it was that

366
00:13:05,705 --> 00:13:06,924
long ago. Me either.

367
00:13:07,544 --> 00:13:09,384
I I thought it was, you know, much

368
00:13:09,544 --> 00:13:10,605
I thought it was,

369
00:13:11,465 --> 00:13:14,345
like, late nineties. Okay. But no. Apparently, it

370
00:13:14,345 --> 00:13:16,424
was 1980 she wrote that. Wow. She actually

371
00:13:16,424 --> 00:13:18,129
start wrote the first book. Right. Right. Right.

372
00:13:18,129 --> 00:13:19,570
She started it or Mhmm. She got it

373
00:13:19,570 --> 00:13:21,329
published, the first one published, which means she

374
00:13:21,329 --> 00:13:22,870
probably started it in the seventies.

375
00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:25,970
Very possible. The story of O. I think

376
00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,509
that movie came out in the seventies.

377
00:13:27,889 --> 00:13:29,250
Yeah? I believe so. Does that sound about

378
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:31,169
right? Yes. I I think so. Would love

379
00:13:31,169 --> 00:13:32,745
to see newspaper articles from

380
00:13:34,825 --> 00:13:36,424
that time. Somebody wrote a pearl clutchy thing

381
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:39,144
about that. I'm sure. Yeah. So in the

382
00:13:39,144 --> 00:13:41,245
twenty first century, the the

383
00:13:42,345 --> 00:13:44,904
several things came up. But the one that

384
00:13:44,904 --> 00:13:47,759
caught my eye was two separate times, same

385
00:13:47,759 --> 00:13:48,259
topic,

386
00:13:48,799 --> 00:13:51,059
when the 50 Shades books

387
00:13:51,519 --> 00:13:54,080
blew up and it felt like everybody in

388
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,920
their, you know, mother was reading them. Oh

389
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,600
my gosh. I was still working in an

390
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,179
office then and So beside And the ladies

391
00:14:00,399 --> 00:14:01,139
were like,

392
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,855
wild. They they were all every one of

393
00:14:03,855 --> 00:14:04,355
them

394
00:14:04,975 --> 00:14:07,795
Yeah. In my department was reading those books.

395
00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:09,934
And then when the movies came out Yeah.

396
00:14:10,014 --> 00:14:11,235
Slightly different conversation.

397
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:12,355
There was

398
00:14:12,815 --> 00:14:13,634
the added,

399
00:14:14,014 --> 00:14:16,320
kind of ick effect of was this actually

400
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,759
a good movie. Let's like we're not even

401
00:14:17,759 --> 00:14:19,200
talking about the story, the writing. Like was

402
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,440
the movie good? Matter of opinion. I did

403
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,279
not watch them because I cannot handle that

404
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,600
much secondhand embarrassment. That's too much for my

405
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,360
body to handle. It's just not gonna be

406
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:27,860
good.

407
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,066
So that's just a semi recent example. And

408
00:14:31,066 --> 00:14:32,745
I say semi recent example. And I say

409
00:14:32,745 --> 00:14:33,725
semi recent because

410
00:14:34,345 --> 00:14:34,845
most

411
00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:38,585
kinksters who've, you know, are mid thirties on

412
00:14:38,585 --> 00:14:39,085
older

413
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:42,504
are aware at, you know, 50 Shades kind

414
00:14:42,504 --> 00:14:44,365
of phenomenon. And a lot of people

415
00:14:44,745 --> 00:14:46,205
figured out they were kinky

416
00:14:46,799 --> 00:14:47,299
because

417
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,720
these not so wonderfully written books and not

418
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:51,940
so wonderfully written

419
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,500
or acted. I don't know. But movies,

420
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,840
they it was huge. Right? And I you

421
00:14:57,840 --> 00:15:00,945
know, my impression and again, there's so many

422
00:15:01,565 --> 00:15:03,985
ways people reacted and reasons for it. But

423
00:15:04,125 --> 00:15:05,565
I know there was a lot of, oh

424
00:15:05,565 --> 00:15:07,665
my gosh. Right? The taboo

425
00:15:08,845 --> 00:15:11,004
brought forward not in a way that many

426
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,365
of us who are like trying to live

427
00:15:12,365 --> 00:15:14,929
this life kind of recognize or like that

428
00:15:14,929 --> 00:15:15,909
it's a caricature.

429
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:18,129
That's how that is you know there's not

430
00:15:18,129 --> 00:15:20,370
a single piece of media that will ever

431
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:22,950
be created about kink good or bad

432
00:15:23,330 --> 00:15:24,230
that is gonna

433
00:15:24,769 --> 00:15:25,269
encompass

434
00:15:25,934 --> 00:15:28,014
a broad enough experience. Every once in a

435
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,294
while, we get that and we're like, oh,

436
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:31,554
cool. And then there's somebody on a subreddit

437
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,615
somewhere telling you about how it's actually the

438
00:15:33,615 --> 00:15:36,835
worst ever. That's just how media is. Yeah.

439
00:15:37,615 --> 00:15:38,115
So,

440
00:15:40,019 --> 00:15:41,860
yes. I lost it. But that was my

441
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,779
point was that, you know, we can see

442
00:15:43,779 --> 00:15:46,019
this. But that's what it was. Got it

443
00:15:46,019 --> 00:15:48,259
back. 50 Shades brought a lot of kinky

444
00:15:48,259 --> 00:15:50,740
people into kink community. Yes. Did it send

445
00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,580
plenty of people to the ER because they

446
00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:54,214
tried shit and they use these books as

447
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:55,834
how to manuals? Yes.

448
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,134
And it it helped a lot of people

449
00:15:58,134 --> 00:16:00,615
go, hey, wait. There's something here. It did.

450
00:16:00,615 --> 00:16:02,455
I'm interested in this. Now, what what I

451
00:16:02,455 --> 00:16:05,115
will say about that, and and and kudos

452
00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:05,674
to

453
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:08,475
the West Pasco community at that time,

454
00:16:10,809 --> 00:16:13,149
When the book came out and they exploded

455
00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:14,190
in popularity,

456
00:16:15,370 --> 00:16:17,789
some of the community leaders, they actually

457
00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:20,985
devised a plan of how to educate these

458
00:16:20,985 --> 00:16:22,904
people when they start because they did start

459
00:16:22,904 --> 00:16:24,664
showing up at munches and at and at

460
00:16:24,664 --> 00:16:26,365
the dungeons and things like that.

461
00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:28,904
And, you know, they're they were they were

462
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:31,304
thinking, you know, it's all this movie fun

463
00:16:31,304 --> 00:16:33,225
stuff. Everybody's got a red room. Yeah. Yeah.

464
00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:33,725
Right.

465
00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:36,340
And, you know, one of one of the

466
00:16:36,340 --> 00:16:38,340
things that they discussed, and they actually had

467
00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:39,779
it all laid out was, you know, how

468
00:16:39,779 --> 00:16:42,100
to how to, you know, educate these people

469
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,500
about the safety and what this is really

470
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,720
all about. Right.

471
00:16:46,259 --> 00:16:49,274
And I think I'm I am positive that

472
00:16:49,274 --> 00:16:51,195
there are more differences than this. But a

473
00:16:51,195 --> 00:16:53,355
difference that comes to mind from that little

474
00:16:53,355 --> 00:16:56,154
innocent time we were alive in the 2010,

475
00:16:56,154 --> 00:16:57,054
2012,

476
00:16:57,115 --> 00:16:58,875
earlier than that kind of around that time

477
00:16:58,875 --> 00:17:00,575
era versus now

478
00:17:01,035 --> 00:17:03,870
is that right now, what goes viral, what

479
00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:05,950
gets the attention, what then can change behavior

480
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:07,710
for there's porn that's always there. We know

481
00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:08,210
that.

482
00:17:08,509 --> 00:17:11,070
But something goes viral on TikTok, it's probably

483
00:17:11,070 --> 00:17:13,390
a video that's a minute, maybe two minutes.

484
00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:15,150
I know you can do longer form on

485
00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:18,144
TikTok, but the the catchiness of it, the

486
00:17:18,144 --> 00:17:20,404
lack of nuance, the, you know, somebody

487
00:17:21,664 --> 00:17:24,224
put some words over there while they looked

488
00:17:24,224 --> 00:17:26,065
off into the middle distance and a song

489
00:17:26,065 --> 00:17:28,144
was playing in the background and, you know,

490
00:17:28,144 --> 00:17:30,139
there was no discussion and people picked it

491
00:17:30,139 --> 00:17:32,299
up and and ran with it. Mhmm. And

492
00:17:32,299 --> 00:17:34,859
people are deriving meaning from things that they

493
00:17:34,859 --> 00:17:35,359
get

494
00:17:35,899 --> 00:17:37,359
nowhere near enough

495
00:17:37,980 --> 00:17:39,919
content or context about

496
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,460
so that I have no doubt there are

497
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:44,299
people out there doing some of these kinky

498
00:17:44,299 --> 00:17:46,545
things, talking about some of these things,

499
00:17:47,485 --> 00:17:50,125
that we would consider, like, to be, you

500
00:17:50,164 --> 00:17:52,525
know, to to be very specific to the

501
00:17:52,525 --> 00:17:54,684
kink community and and there be, like, kind

502
00:17:54,684 --> 00:17:55,424
of specific

503
00:17:55,805 --> 00:17:57,805
conversations to have around them, and they get

504
00:17:57,805 --> 00:17:59,744
none of that. But they might not necessarily

505
00:17:59,965 --> 00:18:02,740
be rocking up to the munch or the

506
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:05,140
dungeon or the one zero one workshop. I'm

507
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:06,820
I think some people probably are. I think

508
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,240
this is just another gateway for some people.

509
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,240
Mhmm. But Oh, yeah.

510
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,320
From my limited view,

511
00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:16,125
what I have seen has been a lot

512
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:17,984
of co opting language,

513
00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:19,904
whether to be edgy,

514
00:18:20,285 --> 00:18:22,285
whether to try and, you know, jump on

515
00:18:22,285 --> 00:18:24,684
a trend, whether because you wanna seem like

516
00:18:24,684 --> 00:18:27,505
you know something, whatever it might be, and

517
00:18:27,779 --> 00:18:29,779
having none of the other to go with

518
00:18:29,779 --> 00:18:32,359
it. Yeah. Yeah. Which I can see why

519
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:34,900
some of what's happening more today is a

520
00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:37,460
can feel a little bit more nefarious because

521
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:40,100
it's not coming from a book that tried

522
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:43,315
to lay out a fantasy version, like hundreds

523
00:18:43,315 --> 00:18:46,035
and hundreds, thousands of words to kinda tell

524
00:18:46,115 --> 00:18:48,275
Mhmm. Maybe not well, but to kinda tell

525
00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:49,174
you a story

526
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,055
versus ten seconds, five words,

527
00:18:53,075 --> 00:18:54,995
and and just the comments going wild or

528
00:18:54,995 --> 00:18:56,515
something. Right? And things getting picked up and

529
00:18:56,515 --> 00:18:58,519
stripped down for parts to be repackaged,

530
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,640
and now none of it means anything. Right?

531
00:19:01,779 --> 00:19:04,340
But people are using language or they're doing

532
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,900
things based on impressions they kind of got

533
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:09,240
from what they think somebody might have meant.

534
00:19:10,174 --> 00:19:13,154
And, you know, I that's an added layer

535
00:19:13,535 --> 00:19:15,775
Yeah. In in the the,

536
00:19:16,174 --> 00:19:17,154
age of TikTok.

537
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,474
That is not helpful to anybody.

538
00:19:19,855 --> 00:19:21,615
But also, like, I felt this way about

539
00:19:21,615 --> 00:19:23,214
50 shades. I feel this way now. If

540
00:19:23,214 --> 00:19:25,960
you come across kink, your first intro to

541
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:26,460
kink

542
00:19:26,759 --> 00:19:28,859
is an imperfect piece of media

543
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,900
that maybe you learn a wrong thing from

544
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,279
and make some mistakes from, but that was

545
00:19:34,279 --> 00:19:35,660
your introduction and it

546
00:19:36,394 --> 00:19:39,115
sparked something in you to go, hey. Hey.

547
00:19:39,115 --> 00:19:41,355
Woah. This I need to go do more,

548
00:19:41,355 --> 00:19:43,355
learn more, find out more. I think that's

549
00:19:43,355 --> 00:19:43,855
fine.

550
00:19:44,234 --> 00:19:46,234
Like I do think I want those people

551
00:19:46,234 --> 00:19:48,394
to be careful but they don't know yet

552
00:19:48,394 --> 00:19:51,039
to even have somebody to talk to to

553
00:19:51,039 --> 00:19:51,679
tell them to be careful. Right. So it's

554
00:19:51,679 --> 00:19:53,859
like, it's just another avenue for people

555
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:54,819
to

556
00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:58,079
come into the lifestyle, discover themselves a little

557
00:19:58,079 --> 00:20:00,179
bit more. And and see, I think that's,

558
00:20:02,639 --> 00:20:03,139
while

559
00:20:04,394 --> 00:20:05,934
having the Internet available

560
00:20:06,315 --> 00:20:08,414
to seek out and search

561
00:20:08,715 --> 00:20:11,595
things, it it's a marvelous thing. Having having

562
00:20:11,595 --> 00:20:14,315
that supercomputer in your fingers is amazing. I

563
00:20:14,315 --> 00:20:16,875
love it. Okay? Never thought I'd see a

564
00:20:16,875 --> 00:20:18,075
day like this, but here it is. Oh,

565
00:20:18,075 --> 00:20:19,140
yeah. You know?

566
00:20:21,859 --> 00:20:23,079
But it is also

567
00:20:25,059 --> 00:20:27,240
the downside to it because

568
00:20:27,619 --> 00:20:28,200
you know

569
00:20:28,579 --> 00:20:31,240
we are in an age with social media

570
00:20:31,779 --> 00:20:33,880
anybody can get out there and say

571
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:36,663
anything. And they do. And they do. And

572
00:20:36,663 --> 00:20:38,954
they do. And they do. You know?

573
00:20:39,734 --> 00:20:40,234
And,

574
00:20:41,015 --> 00:20:42,154
you know, I think

575
00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:44,394
a lot of people do

576
00:20:45,654 --> 00:20:47,734
these things, these videos, because they wanna go

577
00:20:47,734 --> 00:20:48,690
viral. They wanna be

578
00:20:49,329 --> 00:20:50,089
be edgy, they wanna shock people. They want

579
00:20:50,089 --> 00:20:51,529
the numbers, they wanna make money on TikTok

580
00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:54,210
Right. Whatever it is. Yeah. And, you know,

581
00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:56,309
there again too. That is

582
00:20:57,970 --> 00:20:59,829
not the way to find out about kink.

583
00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:01,490
It's not a helpful way. No. It's it's

584
00:21:01,490 --> 00:21:02,710
not helpful or healthy

585
00:21:03,154 --> 00:21:05,234
because, you know, you are you were just

586
00:21:05,234 --> 00:21:05,734
getting

587
00:21:06,755 --> 00:21:08,914
that snapshot. And it's not even that. It's

588
00:21:08,914 --> 00:21:10,294
less than a snapshot. Yeah.

589
00:21:10,755 --> 00:21:12,855
Yeah. You know, you you do not know

590
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:14,694
what is involved,

591
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:17,070
you know, under the hood so to speak.

592
00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:17,570
Mhmm.

593
00:21:18,349 --> 00:21:20,450
So, you know, that that can be

594
00:21:21,549 --> 00:21:23,330
dangerous. But it's no different

595
00:21:24,109 --> 00:21:27,150
than it's just a new aspect of, you

596
00:21:27,150 --> 00:21:30,164
know, careful what you consume in porn, careful

597
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:32,325
what you see in movies, you know, careful

598
00:21:32,325 --> 00:21:34,404
what you read in erotica, it's not real.

599
00:21:34,404 --> 00:21:37,144
It it's another extension of that. Mhmm. And,

600
00:21:39,204 --> 00:21:41,285
you know, then you gotta weed that shit

601
00:21:41,285 --> 00:21:43,000
out. Right. And you have to have enough

602
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,519
media literacy to do that. You have to

603
00:21:44,519 --> 00:21:47,000
have some maturity for it. Like, some Mhmm.

604
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,039
I mean, TikTok, it everybody uses TikTok. I

605
00:21:50,039 --> 00:21:51,819
don't use TikTok. But, like, every

606
00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:55,000
part of humanity uses TikTok. But if you

607
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,200
got access to Mhmm.

608
00:21:56,759 --> 00:21:59,865
Internet connection, somebody in your cohort uses fucking

609
00:21:59,865 --> 00:22:03,164
TikTok. But it is still kind of known

610
00:22:03,304 --> 00:22:06,184
primarily for young people, maybe not always teenagers,

611
00:22:06,184 --> 00:22:08,845
but young people are on TikTok. And so

612
00:22:09,625 --> 00:22:12,930
many of them do not have the experience

613
00:22:12,990 --> 00:22:14,289
yet to discern

614
00:22:14,910 --> 00:22:17,070
between like, you might be a digital native,

615
00:22:17,070 --> 00:22:19,630
but that don't mean you can always tell.

616
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,309
You can't we can't all always tell when

617
00:22:21,309 --> 00:22:23,869
AI's got us. We can't all always tell

618
00:22:23,869 --> 00:22:26,475
when we're being, like, like bullshit. I I

619
00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:28,795
got a phone call this afternoon that made

620
00:22:28,795 --> 00:22:29,455
me go,

621
00:22:30,315 --> 00:22:32,315
is this real or is this not? And

622
00:22:32,315 --> 00:22:33,535
I I had to

623
00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:36,394
sit down for a minute and look into

624
00:22:36,394 --> 00:22:38,075
some things and turns out it was a

625
00:22:38,075 --> 00:22:40,369
freaking scam and It usually is. In this

626
00:22:40,369 --> 00:22:41,730
day and age, it usually is. Right. And

627
00:22:41,730 --> 00:22:42,950
that's the thing. I could see

628
00:22:43,649 --> 00:22:46,289
content creators making the justification that this is

629
00:22:46,289 --> 00:22:48,450
for entertainment purposes only because books are for

630
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:48,950
entertainment,

631
00:22:49,250 --> 00:22:51,109
movies are for entertainment. And

632
00:22:52,130 --> 00:22:54,575
I I kind of can't have a I

633
00:22:54,575 --> 00:22:56,414
don't have a good argument against that because

634
00:22:56,414 --> 00:22:57,875
that is true. Mhmm.

635
00:22:58,654 --> 00:23:01,134
You can put out content for whatever reason

636
00:23:01,134 --> 00:23:02,674
you do and you cannot control

637
00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:04,894
what people take from it and how it

638
00:23:04,894 --> 00:23:07,694
gets That's true. You know, regurgitated and and

639
00:23:07,694 --> 00:23:10,150
reused and how, you know, how it gets

640
00:23:10,150 --> 00:23:12,070
morphed into something else that even you didn't

641
00:23:12,070 --> 00:23:13,430
intend. You were like, I just wanted the

642
00:23:13,430 --> 00:23:15,350
numbers and that was a trending sound and

643
00:23:15,509 --> 00:23:17,830
Excuse me. Whatever, you know. Mhmm. Mhmm. And

644
00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,350
so I don't think any of these things

645
00:23:19,350 --> 00:23:22,650
are good or bad. I do think that,

646
00:23:23,384 --> 00:23:25,404
you know, more of us need to be

647
00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:27,945
more aware of them. Mhmm. Not necessarily for

648
00:23:27,945 --> 00:23:30,125
ourselves as kinksters. I mean, if you are

649
00:23:30,345 --> 00:23:32,345
at a point where you are consuming an

650
00:23:32,345 --> 00:23:34,285
hour plus of just our podcast,

651
00:23:34,585 --> 00:23:36,680
you are getting and we can't tell you

652
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,200
everything and are not trying to but you're

653
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,759
getting enough context to be able to probably

654
00:23:40,759 --> 00:23:43,079
go that that sounds like some bullshit in

655
00:23:43,079 --> 00:23:45,320
this TikTok, in this reel, in this whatever.

656
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:45,820
Right?

657
00:23:46,519 --> 00:23:48,119
So and that's just bare minimum. So if

658
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,414
you're out there following you know other kink

659
00:23:50,654 --> 00:23:52,654
creators and you're watching other content, you're doing

660
00:23:52,654 --> 00:23:53,555
all this other stuff.

661
00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:55,775
You are probably not the one who needs

662
00:23:55,775 --> 00:23:58,595
this but many of us have, you know,

663
00:23:59,455 --> 00:24:02,015
we're raising kids, we got teenagers in our

664
00:24:02,015 --> 00:24:03,695
lives, we got people around us, so we

665
00:24:03,695 --> 00:24:05,720
have to kind of hold their precious little

666
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,600
innocent hand and go, honey, not everything is

667
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:09,720
real. We also have to do that with

668
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,420
our older parents who think everything

669
00:24:11,799 --> 00:24:13,240
posted to Facebook is real but that's a

670
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,180
different conversation for another day.

671
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,380
So

672
00:24:19,045 --> 00:24:20,964
that's some of that landscape that some of

673
00:24:20,964 --> 00:24:22,724
the like bigger thoughts I should have said

674
00:24:22,724 --> 00:24:23,924
at the top but I didn't put it

675
00:24:23,924 --> 00:24:25,205
in my notes and that's how I forgot.

676
00:24:25,205 --> 00:24:26,565
But I'm gonna say it here. Okay. Because

677
00:24:26,565 --> 00:24:28,164
we're gonna get into specifics and you're gonna

678
00:24:28,164 --> 00:24:29,285
be like, well, how the fuck do you

679
00:24:29,285 --> 00:24:31,205
know this? I got links y'all. I got

680
00:24:31,205 --> 00:24:32,345
resources. I watched

681
00:24:32,950 --> 00:24:35,190
bits and pieces of two of Evie Lupine's

682
00:24:35,190 --> 00:24:37,750
videos, including a very recent one from like

683
00:24:37,750 --> 00:24:39,210
a month ago as of recording

684
00:24:39,670 --> 00:24:40,890
about Tradwives

685
00:24:42,070 --> 00:24:44,869
and air quote day callers. Oh, lord. You

686
00:24:44,869 --> 00:24:45,990
told me about that. I have linked to

687
00:24:45,990 --> 00:24:48,174
her videos. I've linked to the articles I'm

688
00:24:48,174 --> 00:24:49,154
gonna mention definitely

689
00:24:49,694 --> 00:24:52,355
going forward in the notes. The two articles

690
00:24:52,494 --> 00:24:54,095
that made me go, what the hell is

691
00:24:54,095 --> 00:24:54,595
happening

692
00:24:55,534 --> 00:24:58,014
to kinky acts and why are people doing

693
00:24:58,014 --> 00:24:59,934
this? Those are linked. So anything you might

694
00:24:59,934 --> 00:25:01,750
be interested in in, and anything we mentioned

695
00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:02,890
especially here on out,

696
00:25:03,349 --> 00:25:05,910
the links are there. Okay. So I this

697
00:25:05,910 --> 00:25:08,470
is not this is not comprehensive. I'm sure

698
00:25:08,470 --> 00:25:11,210
it's not. It's just the ones that kind

699
00:25:11,349 --> 00:25:13,349
of hit sort of a zeitgeist in some

700
00:25:13,349 --> 00:25:14,025
way. Okay?

701
00:25:14,505 --> 00:25:16,345
So I'm let's go through this. The spitting

702
00:25:16,345 --> 00:25:17,705
and the choking, we know where that comes

703
00:25:17,705 --> 00:25:18,984
from. A lot of that does come from

704
00:25:18,984 --> 00:25:22,184
porn. Yes. But once things kind of come

705
00:25:22,184 --> 00:25:24,025
out of porn and just sort of get

706
00:25:24,025 --> 00:25:25,224
talked about on main

707
00:25:25,785 --> 00:25:28,779
Mhmm. I my algorithm, most the time is

708
00:25:28,779 --> 00:25:29,920
a lot of,

709
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,579
erotic writers or, you know, dark romance readers.

710
00:25:33,579 --> 00:25:34,940
They don't like to call themselves erotic readers,

711
00:25:34,940 --> 00:25:37,660
but Yeah. Romance readers, smart readers. And the

712
00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:40,640
sheer amount two things. The sheer amount

713
00:25:41,579 --> 00:25:41,924
of

714
00:25:42,884 --> 00:25:45,525
video content specifically reels that used to be

715
00:25:45,525 --> 00:25:46,424
TikToks whatever

716
00:25:47,205 --> 00:25:49,445
where the thirst trap or the the hook

717
00:25:49,445 --> 00:25:52,505
is choking is the hand around like, look,

718
00:25:52,565 --> 00:25:55,205
look y'all. I'll melt into a kinky little

719
00:25:55,205 --> 00:25:57,450
puddle when his hand goes around my throat

720
00:25:57,529 --> 00:25:58,029
consensually.

721
00:25:58,889 --> 00:26:02,029
But I have the context and the background

722
00:26:02,089 --> 00:26:04,730
and some of the like experience. Right? And

723
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:06,190
then I see it when I'm reading

724
00:26:06,730 --> 00:26:09,369
some of the smut. Some that considers itself

725
00:26:09,369 --> 00:26:11,289
very dark and I'm like, I would expect

726
00:26:11,289 --> 00:26:12,970
this in dark. And some that does not.

727
00:26:12,970 --> 00:26:14,835
They just think putting the hand around your

728
00:26:14,835 --> 00:26:16,214
throat while fucking is

729
00:26:16,515 --> 00:26:17,015
normal.

730
00:26:17,555 --> 00:26:18,055
Okay?

731
00:26:19,154 --> 00:26:21,154
I read one that was, like, right on

732
00:26:21,154 --> 00:26:23,555
the edge between probably I don't remember if

733
00:26:23,555 --> 00:26:25,474
it designated itself dark romance, but it could

734
00:26:25,474 --> 00:26:26,730
have, but not completely.

735
00:26:27,190 --> 00:26:29,029
And like part of the draw, part of

736
00:26:29,029 --> 00:26:30,869
the kink was she wanted to see black

737
00:26:30,869 --> 00:26:32,630
spots in front of her eyeballs and I

738
00:26:32,630 --> 00:26:33,289
was like,

739
00:26:33,589 --> 00:26:36,089
that's cool but could you have a conversation

740
00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:38,549
about it? Right. So it's not just TikTok

741
00:26:38,549 --> 00:26:40,409
and it's not and it's not just porn.

742
00:26:40,470 --> 00:26:42,974
It's kind of choking has kind

743
00:26:43,595 --> 00:26:45,914
of gone out everywhere and it's sort of

744
00:26:45,914 --> 00:26:46,414
infiltrating.

745
00:26:46,794 --> 00:26:47,294
Yeah.

746
00:26:47,595 --> 00:26:49,355
Well, I mean, it's it's no different. You

747
00:26:49,355 --> 00:26:51,294
know, you you you talk about the spitting.

748
00:26:53,674 --> 00:26:54,420
Up to a girl.

749
00:26:55,059 --> 00:26:57,160
I know. Okay? I know. I mean that.

750
00:26:57,380 --> 00:26:58,519
Hilarious in that.

751
00:26:59,539 --> 00:27:01,460
I mean that Gotta spit on that thing.

752
00:27:01,460 --> 00:27:03,700
I'm not, but you can. You better not.

753
00:27:03,700 --> 00:27:05,059
It's not my thing. That's not my thing

754
00:27:05,059 --> 00:27:06,680
either. That's not my thing either.

755
00:27:07,059 --> 00:27:09,394
No. As I've told you, I like if

756
00:27:09,394 --> 00:27:11,315
the the vibe is right in a piece

757
00:27:11,315 --> 00:27:13,315
of smart I'm reading Mhmm. I can accept

758
00:27:13,315 --> 00:27:15,654
and I can find it hot. In that,

759
00:27:15,954 --> 00:27:18,454
it's arms length. It fits with the context.

760
00:27:18,514 --> 00:27:20,034
I don't want it for myself, but, yeah,

761
00:27:20,034 --> 00:27:21,575
that makes sense for this moment.

762
00:27:22,115 --> 00:27:23,174
Hell, yeah.

763
00:27:23,870 --> 00:27:26,509
And apparently, spitting was one of the things

764
00:27:26,509 --> 00:27:27,650
I did have a moment

765
00:27:28,029 --> 00:27:30,110
TikTok and then went to Instagram Yeah. Where

766
00:27:30,110 --> 00:27:31,710
it and I it might even still be

767
00:27:31,710 --> 00:27:33,970
a little bit. It was trending as a,

768
00:27:34,509 --> 00:27:36,944
you know, a way to talk about dark

769
00:27:36,944 --> 00:27:39,045
romance, a way to, like, do, like,

770
00:27:39,825 --> 00:27:41,664
talk about be edgy on the Internet. Like,

771
00:27:41,664 --> 00:27:43,345
there's all wick kinds of ways to create

772
00:27:43,345 --> 00:27:45,505
content. But spinning was one of them too.

773
00:27:45,505 --> 00:27:48,144
And I have seen that filter into and

774
00:27:48,144 --> 00:27:50,450
I see from a smart reader perspective

775
00:27:50,929 --> 00:27:53,569
Mhmm. Because I don't get the opportunity to

776
00:27:53,569 --> 00:27:55,970
read a lot of kink specific books because

777
00:27:55,970 --> 00:27:57,109
I don't like contemporary

778
00:27:57,889 --> 00:27:59,349
as a genre. I prefer

779
00:27:59,889 --> 00:28:00,914
fantasy or historical or

780
00:28:01,875 --> 00:28:03,826
whatever. I like Don't put me in the

781
00:28:03,826 --> 00:28:05,234
fucking world we live in now. It's too

782
00:28:05,234 --> 00:28:06,914
stressful. I wanna know the world. So I

783
00:28:06,914 --> 00:28:08,855
don't read a lot of like BDSM

784
00:28:09,315 --> 00:28:11,315
themed smut. I read some of it but

785
00:28:11,315 --> 00:28:13,475
not a lot. And I see these kink

786
00:28:13,475 --> 00:28:16,399
things come like come into this smut.

787
00:28:17,099 --> 00:28:19,259
It's not talked about like it's kink. It's

788
00:28:19,259 --> 00:28:21,579
not treated like it's kink. It's treated like

789
00:28:21,579 --> 00:28:24,000
it's normal except there's almost never a conversation

790
00:28:24,139 --> 00:28:26,879
about it. And that doesn't just come from

791
00:28:27,434 --> 00:28:27,934
nowhere.

792
00:28:28,315 --> 00:28:28,815
And

793
00:28:29,914 --> 00:28:32,234
who's the cart? Who's the horse? I don't

794
00:28:32,234 --> 00:28:34,234
fucking know. Who's the chicken? Who's the egg?

795
00:28:34,234 --> 00:28:37,194
I don't know. Porn really is probably the

796
00:28:37,194 --> 00:28:37,694
birthplace

797
00:28:38,315 --> 00:28:40,494
of the proliferation of it, of the normalization

798
00:28:40,714 --> 00:28:42,634
of Yes. This is what people do during

799
00:28:42,634 --> 00:28:42,869
sex.

800
00:28:44,069 --> 00:28:44,569
Because,

801
00:28:45,029 --> 00:28:46,630
you know, almost none of us have ever

802
00:28:46,630 --> 00:28:48,230
gotten comprehensive sex ed. And we think what

803
00:28:48,230 --> 00:28:49,509
we see in porn is, like, what you're

804
00:28:49,509 --> 00:28:50,789
supposed to do. What you're supposed to do.

805
00:28:50,789 --> 00:28:51,849
Oh, my god.

806
00:28:52,309 --> 00:28:52,809
Right.

807
00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:56,710
I mean, I didn't I I you know,

808
00:28:56,710 --> 00:28:57,450
not to

809
00:29:00,035 --> 00:29:01,715
I I had no sex ed growing up

810
00:29:01,715 --> 00:29:03,875
as a kid. Nah. No. I Okay. Time

811
00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,234
frame, you grew up hell. No. You didn't.

812
00:29:05,234 --> 00:29:07,715
My my parents told me nothing. The things

813
00:29:07,715 --> 00:29:08,775
I found out

814
00:29:09,075 --> 00:29:10,775
were from other kids.

815
00:29:11,075 --> 00:29:12,819
And when I can get my hands on

816
00:29:12,819 --> 00:29:15,319
a a playboy or penthouse magazine. Mhmm.

817
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:19,220
I was just talking to the youngest therapist

818
00:29:19,220 --> 00:29:21,380
about this, not because of this specific topic,

819
00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:23,240
but it came up in another conversation.

820
00:29:24,179 --> 00:29:26,099
I still lived in Florida when Florida gave

821
00:29:26,099 --> 00:29:26,759
a fuck

822
00:29:27,095 --> 00:29:29,434
and wasn't run by the total loony tunes.

823
00:29:30,134 --> 00:29:31,115
And we had

824
00:29:31,815 --> 00:29:33,815
sex Like, we had age appropriate sex at

825
00:29:33,815 --> 00:29:35,894
around fourth grade, fourth or fifth grade. And

826
00:29:35,894 --> 00:29:38,695
then when you hit eighth grade biology and

827
00:29:38,695 --> 00:29:39,835
you hit that portion,

828
00:29:40,214 --> 00:29:42,214
nobody, like, shied away from it. Not in

829
00:29:42,214 --> 00:29:43,669
the schools that I attended.

830
00:29:45,009 --> 00:29:46,629
And so in the

831
00:29:46,929 --> 00:29:48,389
early ish nineties,

832
00:29:48,849 --> 00:29:50,309
at least in the school

833
00:29:50,609 --> 00:29:52,690
the school district not very far from here

834
00:29:52,690 --> 00:29:53,190
actually,

835
00:29:53,970 --> 00:29:55,889
they were talking about it openly. I remember

836
00:29:55,889 --> 00:29:57,970
the banana and the condom. We were not

837
00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,085
allowed to do our

838
00:29:59,465 --> 00:30:01,545
own. But that teacher had that banana and

839
00:30:01,545 --> 00:30:03,545
that condom. Yeah. And she brought in a

840
00:30:03,545 --> 00:30:05,465
speaker and like all kinds of stuff. And

841
00:30:05,465 --> 00:30:07,305
then I moved away to Mississippi where they

842
00:30:07,305 --> 00:30:09,465
were like, no. We we just pretend sex

843
00:30:09,465 --> 00:30:11,659
doesn't happen. We don't know why all the

844
00:30:11,659 --> 00:30:13,440
teens are are pregnant. It's a mystery.

845
00:30:14,140 --> 00:30:15,259
And by the time we came back to

846
00:30:15,259 --> 00:30:15,759
Florida,

847
00:30:16,140 --> 00:30:17,899
that had been kind of knocked out. There's

848
00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:19,339
some sex ed, but it tends to be

849
00:30:19,339 --> 00:30:19,839
abstinent

850
00:30:20,539 --> 00:30:23,259
based or focused, you know. Yeah. So I

851
00:30:23,259 --> 00:30:25,119
get it. I get why people are drawn

852
00:30:25,740 --> 00:30:28,054
to the the things that, you know

853
00:30:28,674 --> 00:30:30,275
I'm gonna say taboo over and over again

854
00:30:30,275 --> 00:30:31,474
because I can't think of another word because

855
00:30:31,474 --> 00:30:33,234
of Swiss cheese brain. Mhmm. But, like, the

856
00:30:33,234 --> 00:30:35,095
the things that you're not supposed

857
00:30:35,474 --> 00:30:37,474
to have, the illicit things that are, like,

858
00:30:37,474 --> 00:30:39,234
you'd get in trouble if anybody knew you

859
00:30:39,234 --> 00:30:41,634
had this, but it's it's speaking to desires

860
00:30:41,634 --> 00:30:43,179
you have. It's giving you,

861
00:30:44,460 --> 00:30:45,919
an image to kinda go,

862
00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:48,859
oh, that's what that looks like, but no

863
00:30:48,859 --> 00:30:49,919
fucking context.

864
00:30:50,220 --> 00:30:51,599
And so we go from,

865
00:30:51,980 --> 00:30:55,200
you know, Playboy magazines and, you know, Victoria's

866
00:30:55,339 --> 00:30:56,880
Secret catalogs and

867
00:30:57,404 --> 00:30:59,585
up to now the fucking Internet.

868
00:31:01,404 --> 00:31:04,045
And it's splintered from there where you still

869
00:31:04,045 --> 00:31:06,225
have the fucking porn and you have the

870
00:31:06,845 --> 00:31:09,005
the not ethical, please don't watch free porn.

871
00:31:09,005 --> 00:31:10,525
I get you wanna save a buck or

872
00:31:10,525 --> 00:31:12,285
2, but it's not the good porn. It's

873
00:31:12,285 --> 00:31:14,119
not the kind you can just

874
00:31:14,740 --> 00:31:16,440
go pay for your porn if you can.

875
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:20,339
But then it splinters off from there until

876
00:31:20,339 --> 00:31:22,259
there's books and that's fine. And there's movies

877
00:31:22,259 --> 00:31:24,180
and that's fine. Mhmm. And now we've got

878
00:31:24,180 --> 00:31:25,960
short form content where

879
00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:27,000
it's

880
00:31:28,224 --> 00:31:30,704
diluted so far down. It's it loses all

881
00:31:30,704 --> 00:31:33,264
meaning, and now it's just trendy. It's just

882
00:31:33,264 --> 00:31:35,904
cute Mhmm. To, you know, talk about spitting

883
00:31:35,904 --> 00:31:38,565
in your partner's mouth without a fucking conversation

884
00:31:38,704 --> 00:31:39,204
first.

885
00:31:39,904 --> 00:31:42,144
You you know, the the the choking thing,

886
00:31:42,144 --> 00:31:43,900
that has been around A long time. A

887
00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:44,720
long time.

888
00:31:46,059 --> 00:31:47,660
I mean, my gosh. Who was, like, one

889
00:31:47,660 --> 00:31:49,200
of the I can't remember exactly,

890
00:31:50,140 --> 00:31:52,220
you know, first thing goes memory. One of

891
00:31:52,220 --> 00:31:52,799
the carotenes,

892
00:31:57,164 --> 00:31:58,704
Died in a hotel, I think,

893
00:32:00,284 --> 00:32:03,024
doing, you know, doing the erotic asphyxiation.

894
00:32:03,724 --> 00:32:05,024
You know, because it is

895
00:32:05,325 --> 00:32:06,845
it is the quickest way to play with

896
00:32:06,845 --> 00:32:09,184
danger in your sex life. Yeah. I mean,

897
00:32:09,289 --> 00:32:11,069
blocking someone's hair, that's

898
00:32:12,409 --> 00:32:13,929
that's as on the edge, I think, as

899
00:32:13,929 --> 00:32:16,169
you could kinda get Yeah. Without needing, like,

900
00:32:16,169 --> 00:32:17,789
a lot of equipment. Right? Mhmm.

901
00:32:18,409 --> 00:32:20,890
And it's yeah. It's a shorthand for But,

902
00:32:20,890 --> 00:32:22,349
you know, that's what makes

903
00:32:23,505 --> 00:32:26,705
this so dangerous. Mhmm. You know, as a

904
00:32:26,705 --> 00:32:28,164
as a person who

905
00:32:28,865 --> 00:32:29,365
is

906
00:32:30,545 --> 00:32:32,005
in the kink

907
00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:32,884
community,

908
00:32:33,744 --> 00:32:35,220
you know, we we're

909
00:32:35,779 --> 00:32:37,299
mired in this stuff, I guess. You know,

910
00:32:37,299 --> 00:32:39,159
we're we're saturated in it.

911
00:32:39,539 --> 00:32:40,359
We understand

912
00:32:41,059 --> 00:32:42,039
there are risks

913
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,119
in everything we do.

914
00:32:45,220 --> 00:32:47,220
Alright. I have to assess the risks of

915
00:32:47,220 --> 00:32:48,819
the things I do. You have to assess

916
00:32:48,819 --> 00:32:50,579
the risks of what I'm doing to you.

917
00:32:50,579 --> 00:32:51,194
Mhmm. Okay?

918
00:32:53,034 --> 00:32:54,255
And, you know, this

919
00:32:55,755 --> 00:32:57,674
kind of thing, it, you know, you get

920
00:32:57,674 --> 00:32:59,835
none of that. No. You You know? That

921
00:32:59,835 --> 00:33:01,274
that's why I say you just get this

922
00:33:01,274 --> 00:33:01,774
little

923
00:33:02,634 --> 00:33:03,869
snapshot. Mhmm.

924
00:33:04,250 --> 00:33:04,750
Mhmm.

925
00:33:05,369 --> 00:33:07,369
And not everything else that has to, you

926
00:33:07,369 --> 00:33:09,450
know, that that goes with it. So then

927
00:33:09,450 --> 00:33:11,609
it's rendered meaningless. Yeah. Then it's just the

928
00:33:11,609 --> 00:33:14,250
silly little thing you do. Right. And and

929
00:33:14,250 --> 00:33:15,470
the, you know,

930
00:33:16,125 --> 00:33:17,484
those of us who are paying attention, the

931
00:33:17,484 --> 00:33:19,644
people who study this kind of thing, the,

932
00:33:19,644 --> 00:33:21,164
you know, the people who have to help

933
00:33:21,164 --> 00:33:23,484
people that have been harmed after that, we

934
00:33:23,484 --> 00:33:25,404
are making the connections of what the fuck's

935
00:33:25,404 --> 00:33:27,325
happening. But in the moment, when it's ten

936
00:33:27,325 --> 00:33:29,565
seconds of your life and then you scrolled

937
00:33:29,565 --> 00:33:30,065
on,

938
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:33,490
you know, the people aren't necessarily connecting those

939
00:33:33,490 --> 00:33:35,169
dots because they don't have the context. Right.

940
00:33:35,169 --> 00:33:36,609
I'm gonna get to that because Evie said

941
00:33:36,609 --> 00:33:38,369
a brilliant thing in a video and I

942
00:33:38,369 --> 00:33:40,450
fucking wrote it down. Anyway, next on our

943
00:33:40,450 --> 00:33:41,509
list, this one,

944
00:33:42,289 --> 00:33:44,149
probably is still around a little bit.

945
00:33:45,394 --> 00:33:47,394
Did we freeze? Yes. We know we lost

946
00:33:47,394 --> 00:33:50,115
it. Oh, we lost it. Hopefully, the the

947
00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:51,575
the audio is still there.

948
00:33:52,434 --> 00:33:55,255
Podcast listeners, you get to hear me fill

949
00:33:55,394 --> 00:33:57,794
dead air while JB gets the camera back

950
00:33:57,794 --> 00:33:58,615
on. And,

951
00:33:59,470 --> 00:34:02,049
yay, I love these streams like this.

952
00:34:03,390 --> 00:34:04,669
These are the days when I'm like, let's

953
00:34:04,669 --> 00:34:05,890
just do audio only.

954
00:34:06,349 --> 00:34:08,769
So tired of tech problems. Okay. Yeah.

955
00:34:09,070 --> 00:34:09,570
So,

956
00:34:10,269 --> 00:34:11,889
Video should be back in a moment.

957
00:34:12,984 --> 00:34:16,025
The delay between audio video and the stream

958
00:34:16,025 --> 00:34:16,525
is

959
00:34:17,144 --> 00:34:18,125
always interesting.

960
00:34:19,945 --> 00:34:22,264
Okay. So See. The next one on the

961
00:34:22,264 --> 00:34:24,425
list Boom. I think it hit the height

962
00:34:24,425 --> 00:34:27,300
of its popularity around 2023. It's probably still

963
00:34:27,300 --> 00:34:30,500
around. I vaguely remember conversations online about this,

964
00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:32,119
and that's free use. Mhmm.

965
00:34:32,500 --> 00:34:33,000
Now

966
00:34:33,699 --> 00:34:34,199
I

967
00:34:35,059 --> 00:34:36,980
couldn't find anything that sort of, like, was

968
00:34:36,980 --> 00:34:39,699
really definitive about where did that like, who

969
00:34:39,699 --> 00:34:42,295
started that. But I wanna say it's

970
00:34:42,675 --> 00:34:45,075
in Vice did an article about was it

971
00:34:45,075 --> 00:34:46,855
the free use? Yes. Free use.

972
00:34:47,875 --> 00:34:50,614
And they made a point in that one.

973
00:34:51,075 --> 00:34:53,474
They were there's a couple articles linked by

974
00:34:53,635 --> 00:34:55,015
from Vice talking about

975
00:34:56,030 --> 00:34:56,929
some of this.

976
00:34:57,230 --> 00:34:58,510
And I believe it was in the free

977
00:34:58,510 --> 00:35:00,590
use article. They made the point to say

978
00:35:00,590 --> 00:35:03,170
that some of the some of the videos

979
00:35:03,230 --> 00:35:05,550
on the beginning side of the trend as

980
00:35:05,550 --> 00:35:06,609
things were going viral,

981
00:35:07,309 --> 00:35:10,215
not all, but some are actually made by

982
00:35:10,215 --> 00:35:12,855
OnlyFans creators who are trying to Mhmm. In

983
00:35:12,855 --> 00:35:15,894
a subtle way, get attention, go viral for

984
00:35:15,894 --> 00:35:16,715
people who,

985
00:35:17,094 --> 00:35:19,335
like, would be their core audience so they

986
00:35:19,335 --> 00:35:21,414
can get people over to their OnlyFans and

987
00:35:21,414 --> 00:35:23,175
grow their audience that way. And that's a

988
00:35:23,175 --> 00:35:24,889
time honored marketing tradition.

989
00:35:25,349 --> 00:35:27,049
I'm not shitting on it. Right?

990
00:35:27,909 --> 00:35:30,650
And I actually Excuse me, folks. Sorry.

991
00:35:31,429 --> 00:35:32,730
Do do I need to burp you?

992
00:35:33,429 --> 00:35:34,809
I actually saw one

993
00:35:35,269 --> 00:35:37,349
today that was done in the vein of

994
00:35:37,349 --> 00:35:38,889
the way Vice described

995
00:35:39,305 --> 00:35:42,605
the free use ones Mhmm. Of an OnlyFans

996
00:35:42,985 --> 00:35:45,625
creator who is it's video of them looking

997
00:35:45,625 --> 00:35:48,265
super cute, super sexy, whatever. Mhmm. And they'll

998
00:35:48,265 --> 00:35:49,164
have text

999
00:35:49,465 --> 00:35:50,285
over it,

1000
00:35:50,985 --> 00:35:52,285
over the image that

1001
00:35:52,739 --> 00:35:54,500
kinda can be a little vanilla shaming. And

1002
00:35:54,500 --> 00:35:55,059
that was,

1003
00:35:55,539 --> 00:35:58,099
a video Evie did about vanilla shaming, kink

1004
00:35:58,099 --> 00:36:00,420
shaming, the air quote normalization of kink. I

1005
00:36:00,420 --> 00:36:01,699
think it was kind of happening at the

1006
00:36:01,699 --> 00:36:03,380
same time as this for use conversation or

1007
00:36:03,380 --> 00:36:05,219
there was some overlap. Because what they would

1008
00:36:05,219 --> 00:36:06,440
say is, oh, well,

1009
00:36:06,739 --> 00:36:07,400
you know,

1010
00:36:07,724 --> 00:36:08,224
your

1011
00:36:08,845 --> 00:36:11,085
your wife would never just let you, you

1012
00:36:11,085 --> 00:36:13,325
know, do whatever you want, but I would.

1013
00:36:13,325 --> 00:36:14,305
And it's it's

1014
00:36:14,684 --> 00:36:16,065
a way to grab attention,

1015
00:36:16,684 --> 00:36:17,505
but it brought

1016
00:36:18,125 --> 00:36:20,109
and that is only one way that it

1017
00:36:20,109 --> 00:36:21,949
was done. There are other ways we were

1018
00:36:21,949 --> 00:36:23,309
talking about it. Yeah. Yeah. But it brought

1019
00:36:23,309 --> 00:36:25,409
this concept of free use, like,

1020
00:36:25,710 --> 00:36:26,210
into

1021
00:36:26,750 --> 00:36:28,769
the mix. And I remember seeing

1022
00:36:29,070 --> 00:36:32,030
kink, you know, content creators and educators going,

1023
00:36:32,030 --> 00:36:33,389
woah, woah, woah. We need to fucking talk

1024
00:36:33,389 --> 00:36:35,070
about free use. What we I think we

1025
00:36:35,070 --> 00:36:36,925
did an episode on free use because it

1026
00:36:36,925 --> 00:36:38,625
just kept coming up. Mhmm.

1027
00:36:39,085 --> 00:36:40,224
But I saw

1028
00:36:41,484 --> 00:36:43,565
of TikTok that's now on reels and that's

1029
00:36:43,565 --> 00:36:45,565
how I saw it Mhmm. Today of somebody

1030
00:36:45,565 --> 00:36:47,405
who I believe I did not confirm this,

1031
00:36:47,405 --> 00:36:48,764
but I believe they're an OnlyFans creator. And

1032
00:36:48,764 --> 00:36:50,364
there's not a fucking thing wrong with being

1033
00:36:50,364 --> 00:36:52,119
an OnlyFans creator. And there's not a thing

1034
00:36:52,119 --> 00:36:53,659
wrong marketing yourself

1035
00:36:54,119 --> 00:36:56,039
on platforms that will not let you be

1036
00:36:56,039 --> 00:36:58,440
fucking explicit. So you gotta like be teasy

1037
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,119
and flirty. There's nothing wrong with this but

1038
00:37:00,119 --> 00:37:00,619
this

1039
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,260
is one avenue to how we get here.

1040
00:37:03,639 --> 00:37:04,699
And in that one,

1041
00:37:05,159 --> 00:37:07,775
the person was looking super, super sexy. Sexy.

1042
00:37:07,775 --> 00:37:10,175
All they had on was a towel. Their

1043
00:37:10,175 --> 00:37:12,735
shoulders were bare. You couldn't see cleavage because

1044
00:37:12,735 --> 00:37:15,614
the the text was, I'm I'm a modest

1045
00:37:15,614 --> 00:37:17,875
girl. I would never just let you see

1046
00:37:18,094 --> 00:37:19,555
my size l

1047
00:37:20,175 --> 00:37:22,460
breasts on the internet. And it's all supposed

1048
00:37:22,460 --> 00:37:24,300
to be tongue in cheek. And I Mhmm.

1049
00:37:24,539 --> 00:37:25,440
Had to, like,

1050
00:37:25,820 --> 00:37:27,500
I had to read about it to understand

1051
00:37:27,500 --> 00:37:28,940
it was tongue in cheek. Prior to reading

1052
00:37:28,940 --> 00:37:31,019
the Vice article on the free use content,

1053
00:37:31,019 --> 00:37:32,859
I'd have been like, but then why are

1054
00:37:32,859 --> 00:37:34,239
you talking about it?

1055
00:37:35,315 --> 00:37:36,295
But that's all

1056
00:37:37,714 --> 00:37:38,775
and so sometimes

1057
00:37:39,474 --> 00:37:39,974
sometimes

1058
00:37:40,275 --> 00:37:41,574
some of these terms

1059
00:37:42,275 --> 00:37:43,014
come in

1060
00:37:43,714 --> 00:37:45,094
to to this

1061
00:37:47,315 --> 00:37:47,815
ecosystem

1062
00:37:48,355 --> 00:37:49,094
of short

1063
00:37:50,550 --> 00:37:53,910
form content that goes viral because the the

1064
00:37:53,910 --> 00:37:55,130
concept was introduced

1065
00:37:55,510 --> 00:37:57,690
in one meeting meeting. Meaning

1066
00:37:58,230 --> 00:38:00,150
Mhmm. Which is, you know, I'm I'm being

1067
00:38:00,150 --> 00:38:01,910
a little cheeky. I'm being a little flirty

1068
00:38:01,910 --> 00:38:04,150
and, you know, I'm I'm playing into your

1069
00:38:04,150 --> 00:38:06,601
fantasies. Don't you wanna subscribe to my page

1070
00:38:06,601 --> 00:38:09,207
or whatever. Right? Right. But then it gets

1071
00:38:09,207 --> 00:38:11,812
picked up by somebody. And now, other people

1072
00:38:11,812 --> 00:38:14,417
for their own reasons, but one of those

1073
00:38:14,417 --> 00:38:17,023
reasons will be, I wanna go viral too,

1074
00:38:17,023 --> 00:38:18,820
are running with it. Yeah.

1075
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,199
Well, you know, I I mean, you know,

1076
00:38:21,199 --> 00:38:22,739
look at the trends that have

1077
00:38:23,039 --> 00:38:25,380
gone between TikTok and Instagram,

1078
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,920
you know, and and one starts and it

1079
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,239
it's just like an avalanche. What was it?

1080
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:32,559
The the, ice one for a while there

1081
00:38:32,559 --> 00:38:34,985
with you know, it was people dumping ice

1082
00:38:34,985 --> 00:38:36,505
every, you know. Well, they did it. I

1083
00:38:36,505 --> 00:38:37,805
gotta do it. You know? Yes.

1084
00:38:38,184 --> 00:38:38,684
Yes.

1085
00:38:38,985 --> 00:38:40,844
And there is a lot of

1086
00:38:41,465 --> 00:38:44,344
of the copycat thing. Yeah. There's, wanting to

1087
00:38:44,344 --> 00:38:46,985
join in, wanting to be like somebody Mhmm.

1088
00:38:47,305 --> 00:38:48,269
Wanting to have the perceived

1089
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:56,349
fucking one of them has to do with

1090
00:38:56,349 --> 00:38:58,909
kink. None of it. But we're pulling in

1091
00:38:58,909 --> 00:39:01,469
these concepts that have deep meaning, that have

1092
00:39:01,469 --> 00:39:03,905
deep carry deep risk, that require

1093
00:39:04,605 --> 00:39:07,425
thought and conversation and consent and negotiation.

1094
00:39:08,045 --> 00:39:10,304
And it's just this cutesy little trend.

1095
00:39:10,684 --> 00:39:11,744
And and Silent

1096
00:39:12,045 --> 00:39:14,125
knew the episode was free use in blanket

1097
00:39:14,125 --> 00:39:17,130
consent and power exchange episode three eighty. That's

1098
00:39:17,130 --> 00:39:19,289
why Silent is our Historian. Yep. Thank you.

1099
00:39:19,289 --> 00:39:21,210
So the next one on my list, we

1100
00:39:21,210 --> 00:39:21,869
did the

1101
00:39:22,489 --> 00:39:24,889
the the conversation, and that's Princess Treatment. Mhmm.

1102
00:39:24,889 --> 00:39:26,190
Now Princess Treatment,

1103
00:39:26,569 --> 00:39:28,329
I don't think it came about and the

1104
00:39:28,329 --> 00:39:30,535
person who, you know, seemed to be like

1105
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:32,855
the air quote start, they were not coming

1106
00:39:32,855 --> 00:39:33,835
at it from

1107
00:39:34,454 --> 00:39:36,855
a kink perspective. They were not coming at

1108
00:39:36,855 --> 00:39:37,515
it from

1109
00:39:38,695 --> 00:39:39,195
a,

1110
00:39:40,135 --> 00:39:41,574
I'm just trying to go viral. They were

1111
00:39:41,574 --> 00:39:43,070
like, this is this is what I do

1112
00:39:43,070 --> 00:39:44,750
when I'm, you know, whatever whatever whatever their

1113
00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,909
motivations were. It wasn't because they were making

1114
00:39:46,909 --> 00:39:48,989
lots of content and longer content to just

1115
00:39:48,989 --> 00:39:50,210
talk about Princess Treatment.

1116
00:39:50,510 --> 00:39:52,590
And the concept of Princess Treatment, I think,

1117
00:39:52,590 --> 00:39:53,489
hit a nerve

1118
00:39:54,110 --> 00:39:54,610
with,

1119
00:39:55,390 --> 00:39:56,050
you know,

1120
00:39:56,494 --> 00:39:59,375
typically but not always, cis women who want

1121
00:39:59,375 --> 00:40:01,454
to feel taken care of and special and

1122
00:40:01,695 --> 00:40:03,074
Mhmm. You know, whatever whatever.

1123
00:40:03,695 --> 00:40:05,454
But what was happening, it was the reason

1124
00:40:05,454 --> 00:40:07,695
we talked about it, is that some, not

1125
00:40:07,695 --> 00:40:10,250
all, were conflating it with power exchange.

1126
00:40:10,550 --> 00:40:12,630
Because princess is a term that gets used.

1127
00:40:12,630 --> 00:40:14,389
Yeah. Because the concept of being taken care

1128
00:40:14,389 --> 00:40:16,809
of by, in that person's case, her husband,

1129
00:40:17,269 --> 00:40:19,289
you know, there's a a semi parallel

1130
00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:21,590
to a dom taking care of a sub.

1131
00:40:21,590 --> 00:40:22,090
Mhmm.

1132
00:40:22,550 --> 00:40:24,545
And so that was one where it was

1133
00:40:24,545 --> 00:40:27,904
its own concept, but people were actually making

1134
00:40:27,904 --> 00:40:28,724
the connections

1135
00:40:29,585 --> 00:40:31,904
Right. And going, oh, is this, like, kinked

1136
00:40:31,904 --> 00:40:33,585
to the point that some people, not all,

1137
00:40:33,585 --> 00:40:35,184
but some people were, like, oh, that's a

1138
00:40:35,184 --> 00:40:37,727
kink thing that somebody the vanillas just took.

1139
00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:39,957
And it's like, actually, no. It's actually how

1140
00:40:39,957 --> 00:40:42,466
people some people, regardless of flavor of relationship

1141
00:40:42,466 --> 00:40:44,696
or titles they use with one another, just

1142
00:40:44,696 --> 00:40:46,927
want to be fucking treated. You know what

1143
00:40:46,927 --> 00:40:49,157
I mean? It's like, it's a lane of

1144
00:40:49,157 --> 00:40:51,387
human experience. Mhmm. It's not the lane. It's

1145
00:40:51,387 --> 00:40:51,945
not the

1146
00:40:53,305 --> 00:40:54,985
lane. It's not the only way, but it's

1147
00:40:54,985 --> 00:40:56,684
the gateway. And it usually

1148
00:40:56,985 --> 00:40:57,485
feeds

1149
00:40:58,025 --> 00:40:59,864
something that you're craving that you didn't get

1150
00:40:59,864 --> 00:41:02,105
from somewhere else or you're you're not getting

1151
00:41:02,105 --> 00:41:03,864
any other way. And, you know, it's it's

1152
00:41:03,864 --> 00:41:05,164
funny. I heard

1153
00:41:05,849 --> 00:41:06,349
somebody

1154
00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:09,050
talking about this, you know, and they were

1155
00:41:09,050 --> 00:41:11,369
saying how they were a princess. And they

1156
00:41:11,369 --> 00:41:12,750
were like, you know,

1157
00:41:13,050 --> 00:41:14,750
why wouldn't you wanna be the queen?

1158
00:41:15,530 --> 00:41:17,769
And like, oh, no. Queen has responsibilities and

1159
00:41:17,769 --> 00:41:19,304
has to do the hardship. I wanna be

1160
00:41:19,304 --> 00:41:20,684
the princess and have fun.

1161
00:41:21,224 --> 00:41:23,065
When I'm in my baby girl mode, I

1162
00:41:23,065 --> 00:41:24,364
too wanna be the princess.

1163
00:41:24,905 --> 00:41:27,704
When my control issues rear their ugly head,

1164
00:41:27,704 --> 00:41:29,545
I'm the fucking queen because I'm a get

1165
00:41:29,545 --> 00:41:31,945
shit done. Okay? And this could be done

1166
00:41:31,945 --> 00:41:32,159
right.

1167
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,819
Right. Apparently, I have

1168
00:41:35,119 --> 00:41:37,460
many different sides to myself.

1169
00:41:38,639 --> 00:41:39,139
So

1170
00:41:39,599 --> 00:41:41,940
Prince's treatment was was one that

1171
00:41:43,039 --> 00:41:43,280
the

1172
00:41:44,344 --> 00:41:46,444
And I don't know how many kinky people

1173
00:41:46,664 --> 00:41:48,525
made the connection versus how many,

1174
00:41:48,904 --> 00:41:51,324
you know, maybe non kinksters who had read

1175
00:41:51,385 --> 00:41:53,545
read some kinky smud or had heard a

1176
00:41:53,545 --> 00:41:55,864
thing or like made their own connections. I

1177
00:41:55,864 --> 00:41:57,244
have no way of knowing that.

1178
00:41:58,664 --> 00:42:00,480
But that that would be actually interesting to

1179
00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,079
me is where

1180
00:42:03,119 --> 00:42:03,619
who

1181
00:42:04,559 --> 00:42:07,780
not who was an an individual, but which

1182
00:42:08,079 --> 00:42:09,380
cohorts of people

1183
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:12,335
were making those connections and making those claims.

1184
00:42:12,335 --> 00:42:13,875
Was it just kinky people?

1185
00:42:14,574 --> 00:42:17,054
Was it somebody who knew three words about

1186
00:42:17,054 --> 00:42:19,054
kinky and went here, I'm a sound smart,

1187
00:42:19,054 --> 00:42:21,714
I'm a say this. Yeah. Who knows? Probably,

1188
00:42:22,014 --> 00:42:22,835
yes, everybody.

1189
00:42:24,335 --> 00:42:25,875
But that is one where,

1190
00:42:26,650 --> 00:42:28,570
you know, Princess Treatment blew up for a

1191
00:42:28,570 --> 00:42:30,349
while. Mhmm. And then the

1192
00:42:31,769 --> 00:42:32,429
the parallels

1193
00:42:32,730 --> 00:42:35,070
that some, not all, were making to kink

1194
00:42:35,769 --> 00:42:38,090
rose at about the same time. Right? Because

1195
00:42:38,090 --> 00:42:39,530
then there was a lot a little bit

1196
00:42:39,530 --> 00:42:42,974
more conversation about caregiver doms and, you know,

1197
00:42:43,275 --> 00:42:45,514
littles and print and like Right. And then

1198
00:42:45,514 --> 00:42:47,434
the the opposite side, which we did not

1199
00:42:47,434 --> 00:42:49,434
spend a lot of time on in our

1200
00:42:49,434 --> 00:42:51,594
episode, but we did briefly mention it and

1201
00:42:51,594 --> 00:42:53,034
then it got mentioned in the comments of

1202
00:42:53,034 --> 00:42:55,835
that episode, which is, you know, the treatment

1203
00:42:55,835 --> 00:42:57,489
that they're being described. Like, we even said

1204
00:42:57,489 --> 00:42:59,730
it. Like, that's more Dom stuff. You want

1205
00:42:59,730 --> 00:43:02,130
your partner to do shit for you and

1206
00:43:02,130 --> 00:43:03,650
to take care of you Right. So that

1207
00:43:03,650 --> 00:43:05,410
you don't have to do these things. And

1208
00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:07,110
that, you know, if you're gonna make that

1209
00:43:07,170 --> 00:43:09,890
connection Mhmm. Is yeah. It's more of a

1210
00:43:09,890 --> 00:43:11,970
top or Dom kind of behavior. Yeah. I

1211
00:43:11,970 --> 00:43:14,014
mean, in a sense though, the the princess

1212
00:43:14,014 --> 00:43:14,514
treatment

1213
00:43:15,694 --> 00:43:18,114
to to a certain extent, I don't really

1214
00:43:18,654 --> 00:43:19,954
see that as

1215
00:43:20,454 --> 00:43:20,954
a

1216
00:43:21,614 --> 00:43:22,914
something that's being appropriated.

1217
00:43:23,295 --> 00:43:24,974
No. I don't either. Okay. I don't either.

1218
00:43:25,375 --> 00:43:27,234
You know, come on. Let's face it.

1219
00:43:28,849 --> 00:43:31,170
Kids have wanted to be Disney princesses since,

1220
00:43:31,650 --> 00:43:33,670
I still won't. I don't. I don't.

1221
00:43:34,769 --> 00:43:36,449
I wanna be oh my god. I cannot

1222
00:43:36,449 --> 00:43:38,690
think of her name right now, but in

1223
00:43:38,690 --> 00:43:39,670
Wreck It Ralph,

1224
00:43:41,445 --> 00:43:41,945
Oh,

1225
00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:43,545
You know who I'm Penelope.

1226
00:43:43,925 --> 00:43:46,025
Yes. But it's not Penelope. It's Penelope. Vanellope.

1227
00:43:46,724 --> 00:43:48,885
Yes. That's the kind of fucking Disney princess

1228
00:43:48,885 --> 00:43:50,965
I wanna be. Give me a hoodie. I

1229
00:43:50,965 --> 00:43:53,445
probably have something in my hair. My jeans

1230
00:43:53,445 --> 00:43:54,184
are ripped.

1231
00:43:54,789 --> 00:43:56,309
I'm not wearing jeans. I'm wearing leggings. But

1232
00:43:56,309 --> 00:43:57,130
you know what I mean?

1233
00:43:57,509 --> 00:43:58,789
Yeah. I yeah. I can see that in

1234
00:43:58,789 --> 00:44:00,009
you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1235
00:44:00,630 --> 00:44:02,469
Yeah. Yeah. You're the rough and tumble,

1236
00:44:03,269 --> 00:44:05,349
But I added it to this list because

1237
00:44:05,349 --> 00:44:07,989
the conversation about just Princess treatment grew so

1238
00:44:07,989 --> 00:44:09,675
big that it pulled in.

1239
00:44:10,875 --> 00:44:12,635
You know, kinky people were pulled into the

1240
00:44:12,635 --> 00:44:16,494
conversation because of random comments people were making

1241
00:44:16,635 --> 00:44:18,875
that, you know, whatever. Now, here's the last

1242
00:44:18,875 --> 00:44:20,815
one on the list. It might not be

1243
00:44:21,275 --> 00:44:22,954
the last thing out there. It might not

1244
00:44:22,954 --> 00:44:24,894
be the most current. It is the one

1245
00:44:25,179 --> 00:44:27,500
that made my eyeballs almost pop out of

1246
00:44:27,500 --> 00:44:29,340
my fucking head. And Evie did a video

1247
00:44:29,340 --> 00:44:31,019
on it. You totally need to go see

1248
00:44:31,019 --> 00:44:32,960
it. I've linked it. It's

1249
00:44:35,659 --> 00:44:36,159
Tradwives,

1250
00:44:36,460 --> 00:44:37,784
which if you don't know what that is,

1251
00:44:37,784 --> 00:44:39,484
like, give me a second. Tradwives

1252
00:44:40,505 --> 00:44:41,005
wearing

1253
00:44:41,385 --> 00:44:44,184
day collars. Okay. You you just told me

1254
00:44:44,184 --> 00:44:45,464
about this the other day, and that was

1255
00:44:45,464 --> 00:44:47,545
totally new. Yeah. Because you were not on

1256
00:44:47,545 --> 00:44:49,545
that side of the fucking algorithm. No. I've

1257
00:44:49,545 --> 00:44:51,704
got I'm not. One, I I my,

1258
00:44:53,699 --> 00:44:56,500
TikTok account Right. No. And I I see

1259
00:44:56,500 --> 00:44:58,579
stuff when it trickles down to Instagram anyway.

1260
00:44:58,579 --> 00:45:00,280
Three weeks away. And and I

1261
00:45:01,059 --> 00:45:03,780
try to not be on too much social

1262
00:45:03,780 --> 00:45:04,920
media right now.

1263
00:45:05,300 --> 00:45:08,054
Right. Yeah. Okay. So for anybody who is

1264
00:45:08,054 --> 00:45:09,655
aware and I'm not gonna give a perfect

1265
00:45:09,655 --> 00:45:11,355
definition. Okay. But it's

1266
00:45:11,655 --> 00:45:13,514
the way I understand a trad wife

1267
00:45:14,054 --> 00:45:15,734
and some of my thoughts on trad wives.

1268
00:45:15,734 --> 00:45:18,795
So trad wives Mhmm. Is an Internet phenomenon

1269
00:45:19,815 --> 00:45:22,030
because that's where this term comes from and

1270
00:45:22,030 --> 00:45:24,030
that's where the content comes from. So people

1271
00:45:24,030 --> 00:45:25,789
know what it air quote looks like air

1272
00:45:25,789 --> 00:45:26,530
quote that

1273
00:45:26,829 --> 00:45:29,150
to be a trad wife. Okay. Trad wives

1274
00:45:29,150 --> 00:45:32,430
are in general not always. There are exceptions

1275
00:45:32,430 --> 00:45:33,329
to this. Mhmm.

1276
00:45:34,110 --> 00:45:35,090
Christian conservatives,

1277
00:45:35,470 --> 00:45:37,784
they tend to be further on the right

1278
00:45:38,344 --> 00:45:40,764
that they are, cisgender, heterosexual,

1279
00:45:41,065 --> 00:45:43,804
they're married. The the wife has a husband.

1280
00:45:44,505 --> 00:45:46,125
Her air quote purpose

1281
00:45:46,505 --> 00:45:47,005
Mhmm.

1282
00:45:48,025 --> 00:45:50,105
Purpose is to submit to her husband, to

1283
00:45:50,105 --> 00:45:51,150
take care of the home, to take care

1284
00:45:51,150 --> 00:45:52,849
of any children they may have,

1285
00:45:53,549 --> 00:45:54,049
to

1286
00:45:54,429 --> 00:45:56,769
move at a slower pace of life.

1287
00:45:57,710 --> 00:45:59,869
I think all of that is perfectly fine,

1288
00:45:59,869 --> 00:46:02,289
like a thing to aspire to, the

1289
00:46:02,750 --> 00:46:04,775
slower pace of life to focus on home

1290
00:46:04,775 --> 00:46:06,295
and children. There's not a fucking thing wrong

1291
00:46:06,295 --> 00:46:08,215
with that. There is in some of the

1292
00:46:08,215 --> 00:46:10,375
things I have seen this whole women are

1293
00:46:10,375 --> 00:46:12,535
supposed to automatically submit to their husbands, blah

1294
00:46:12,535 --> 00:46:15,755
blah blah. Yeah. And go ahead. Now see,

1295
00:46:15,815 --> 00:46:16,715
I had

1296
00:46:17,015 --> 00:46:17,994
a little different,

1297
00:46:19,559 --> 00:46:21,800
version of Bad Life from what I And

1298
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,119
there are different, there are different versions. There's

1299
00:46:24,119 --> 00:46:26,200
a nuance to it. Yeah. You know, and

1300
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:28,360
and that basically somebody who has a little

1301
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:29,739
bit of money married somebody

1302
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:32,304
That's the reality you're talking about. So Yeah.

1303
00:46:32,344 --> 00:46:34,984
What's happening is the Internet is being sold

1304
00:46:34,984 --> 00:46:37,324
this picture of Mhmm. The

1305
00:46:37,704 --> 00:46:39,944
this wife stays home. She makes shit from

1306
00:46:39,944 --> 00:46:41,804
scratch. The Yeah. The,

1307
00:46:42,905 --> 00:46:44,984
funny but also terrifying one is they made

1308
00:46:44,984 --> 00:46:46,860
Cinnamon Toast Crunch from hand because

1309
00:46:47,260 --> 00:46:49,340
I would never let my look. You can

1310
00:46:49,340 --> 00:46:51,019
do that in your fucking life, but then

1311
00:46:51,019 --> 00:46:53,340
don't preach to everybody about how your way

1312
00:46:53,340 --> 00:46:54,860
is the way of life and it's the

1313
00:46:54,860 --> 00:46:56,320
only way of life. Also,

1314
00:46:56,619 --> 00:46:58,320
the false thing here that

1315
00:46:59,914 --> 00:47:01,215
the folks who

1316
00:47:01,914 --> 00:47:03,675
are living this life, even if maybe they

1317
00:47:03,675 --> 00:47:05,275
don't call themselves a trad wife, they just

1318
00:47:05,275 --> 00:47:07,434
fall under the umbrella, is they say, well,

1319
00:47:07,434 --> 00:47:09,195
as a as a wife, as a mother

1320
00:47:09,514 --> 00:47:11,114
Mhmm. I don't need a job outside of

1321
00:47:11,114 --> 00:47:13,840
the home. My husband provides for me. Again,

1322
00:47:14,140 --> 00:47:15,760
cool. If that's your thing,

1323
00:47:16,219 --> 00:47:18,219
I love it for you. Mhmm. But what

1324
00:47:18,219 --> 00:47:19,199
they don't mention

1325
00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:21,039
is that some of these accounts

1326
00:47:21,659 --> 00:47:24,140
fucking blow up on TikTok. And if you're

1327
00:47:24,140 --> 00:47:25,500
at located in the right place and you

1328
00:47:25,500 --> 00:47:27,500
got the they're making their own fucking money.

1329
00:47:27,500 --> 00:47:29,954
And they're getting brand deals and sponsorships and

1330
00:47:29,954 --> 00:47:31,954
TikTok money and what and Facebook money and

1331
00:47:31,954 --> 00:47:34,775
whatever whatever whatever. And it's a goddamn job.

1332
00:47:35,474 --> 00:47:36,835
They don't call that. A lot of people

1333
00:47:36,835 --> 00:47:38,195
a lot of people like to call content

1334
00:47:38,195 --> 00:47:40,515
creation a job. Yeah. And it's it's that's

1335
00:47:40,515 --> 00:47:43,155
the the the lie there. It's like, I

1336
00:47:43,155 --> 00:47:44,539
have all this time to do this and

1337
00:47:44,539 --> 00:47:47,360
what tends to happen is the husbands are

1338
00:47:47,579 --> 00:47:49,679
stupid rich. And so

1339
00:47:50,059 --> 00:47:52,699
they have access to these resources. Yeah. And

1340
00:47:52,699 --> 00:47:54,860
what's happening is they're selling a life to

1341
00:47:54,860 --> 00:47:56,539
people watching it who maybe for their own

1342
00:47:56,539 --> 00:47:58,904
reasons want a life like that. Maybe they're

1343
00:47:59,204 --> 00:48:02,005
religiously aligned. Maybe they're politically aligned. Maybe it

1344
00:48:02,005 --> 00:48:03,304
just speaks to them.

1345
00:48:03,605 --> 00:48:05,764
But there's not anybody going, let me tell

1346
00:48:05,764 --> 00:48:08,085
you how fucking exhausting this is or what

1347
00:48:08,085 --> 00:48:09,545
this really looks like.

1348
00:48:09,844 --> 00:48:10,984
You know, and and

1349
00:48:11,429 --> 00:48:13,989
in typical Internet fashion, you are getting the

1350
00:48:13,989 --> 00:48:16,630
airbrushed version of something Sure. And it's being

1351
00:48:16,630 --> 00:48:18,789
sold as the reality Mhmm. And then people

1352
00:48:18,789 --> 00:48:21,030
are, like, eating it up because it it

1353
00:48:21,030 --> 00:48:23,190
calls to something within them, and then they

1354
00:48:23,190 --> 00:48:24,414
go to try and emulate it, and then

1355
00:48:24,414 --> 00:48:26,815
they don't understand why Yeah. They're fucking miserable.

1356
00:48:26,815 --> 00:48:28,835
But that that's too why, you know, when

1357
00:48:28,894 --> 00:48:30,594
the the things we talk about,

1358
00:48:31,775 --> 00:48:34,014
you know, here we we talk about the

1359
00:48:34,014 --> 00:48:36,255
not so pretty in our relationship too because,

1360
00:48:36,255 --> 00:48:38,335
you know, it it goes hand in hand.

1361
00:48:38,335 --> 00:48:39,474
Nothing is ever

1362
00:48:39,900 --> 00:48:41,119
perfect. Now,

1363
00:48:42,059 --> 00:48:44,239
since you told me about this Mhmm.

1364
00:48:45,420 --> 00:48:45,920
What

1365
00:48:46,780 --> 00:48:48,639
is the difference then?

1366
00:48:50,380 --> 00:48:52,139
And I I know you said some some

1367
00:48:52,139 --> 00:48:53,974
of what a trad wipe is considered to

1368
00:48:53,974 --> 00:48:55,494
be, but I've I've heard it also in

1369
00:48:55,494 --> 00:48:55,815
different

1370
00:48:57,335 --> 00:49:00,074
what makes that different from a nineteen fifties

1371
00:49:00,135 --> 00:49:01,914
housewife? So we had somebody

1372
00:49:02,535 --> 00:49:04,454
ask us that question, and it is on

1373
00:49:04,454 --> 00:49:05,355
my list of

1374
00:49:06,030 --> 00:49:07,150
they send it in like a q and

1375
00:49:07,150 --> 00:49:09,070
a Mhmm. Question. But I'm I want us

1376
00:49:09,070 --> 00:49:10,910
to do it as a long episode. Okay.

1377
00:49:10,910 --> 00:49:11,410
Because

1378
00:49:12,269 --> 00:49:14,030
I cannot because I don't have enough research

1379
00:49:14,030 --> 00:49:15,469
and I don't have enough understanding. I have

1380
00:49:15,469 --> 00:49:17,070
not read or listened to enough stuff to

1381
00:49:17,070 --> 00:49:19,904
try and tell you hot wife, domestic discipline,

1382
00:49:19,964 --> 00:49:21,484
blah blah blah. Right? I can't I can't

1383
00:49:21,484 --> 00:49:22,385
have that conversation

1384
00:49:23,005 --> 00:49:25,324
Mhmm. And and do it justice now. What

1385
00:49:25,324 --> 00:49:26,625
I can tell you,

1386
00:49:27,324 --> 00:49:30,204
the difference, the big fucking difference Mhmm. Between

1387
00:49:30,204 --> 00:49:32,525
trad wife and any fucking thing else that's

1388
00:49:32,525 --> 00:49:35,309
power exchange Right. However whatever package you put

1389
00:49:35,309 --> 00:49:36,750
it on, like Mhmm. Bow you tie it

1390
00:49:36,750 --> 00:49:38,369
up with, is that

1391
00:49:38,910 --> 00:49:41,630
at no point in what I have seen

1392
00:49:41,710 --> 00:49:44,130
k. Does anybody talk about

1393
00:49:44,510 --> 00:49:45,890
consent and negotiation

1394
00:49:46,605 --> 00:49:48,125
to be a trad wife? It is an

1395
00:49:48,125 --> 00:49:50,364
expectation. It is your place in life. You

1396
00:49:50,364 --> 00:49:52,204
were born a woman, so this is your

1397
00:49:52,204 --> 00:49:54,125
lot. Okay. You don't get to want more.

1398
00:49:54,125 --> 00:49:56,284
If you want more, you're not the good

1399
00:49:56,284 --> 00:49:58,045
kind of woman, the right kind of woman.

1400
00:49:58,045 --> 00:49:59,425
You're womaning wrong.

1401
00:49:59,965 --> 00:50:01,724
You're not supposed to wanna be in charge

1402
00:50:01,724 --> 00:50:02,829
and make decisions.

1403
00:50:03,210 --> 00:50:05,530
Your purpose is to have a bunch of

1404
00:50:05,530 --> 00:50:07,610
babies and make your Cinnamon Toast Crunch from

1405
00:50:07,610 --> 00:50:10,010
scratch. Basically, your husband makes all decisions but

1406
00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:13,610
Yeah. Yes. Without the and was it Evie

1407
00:50:13,610 --> 00:50:15,554
who said it? And I I think it's

1408
00:50:15,554 --> 00:50:17,655
in her Trad wife video. Mhmm. Semi

1409
00:50:17,954 --> 00:50:18,934
badly quoting.

1410
00:50:19,554 --> 00:50:21,315
And it might have been her I think

1411
00:50:21,315 --> 00:50:22,675
it might have been that video. It was

1412
00:50:22,675 --> 00:50:24,275
in one of the videos. They're both linked.

1413
00:50:24,275 --> 00:50:25,494
No. Basically,

1414
00:50:25,875 --> 00:50:27,815
Trad wife, that kind of lifestyle,

1415
00:50:29,059 --> 00:50:30,360
the power imbalance

1416
00:50:30,980 --> 00:50:32,119
is inherent.

1417
00:50:32,579 --> 00:50:34,659
There is no seeing that in the way

1418
00:50:34,659 --> 00:50:36,579
it's talked about. There's no seeing that woman

1419
00:50:36,579 --> 00:50:38,599
as an equal. In power exchange,

1420
00:50:39,059 --> 00:50:41,139
we come together as equals to figure out

1421
00:50:41,139 --> 00:50:42,980
what the fuck we want. Yeah. We design

1422
00:50:42,980 --> 00:50:44,179
it in the way that we want. And

1423
00:50:44,179 --> 00:50:46,474
it can look like the trad wife experience.

1424
00:50:46,474 --> 00:50:48,875
It can look like this or that. But

1425
00:50:48,954 --> 00:50:50,974
Mhmm. Its core, its base

1426
00:50:51,434 --> 00:50:52,655
is we are equals.

1427
00:50:53,035 --> 00:50:55,755
Right. You do I don't have a role

1428
00:50:55,755 --> 00:50:56,414
I require

1429
00:50:56,715 --> 00:50:59,019
by gender. And that's something that I've always

1430
00:50:59,019 --> 00:51:01,579
said, you know, when said this through the

1431
00:51:01,579 --> 00:51:02,619
years. We are in a

1432
00:51:03,819 --> 00:51:05,359
we are equals in a mutually

1433
00:51:06,859 --> 00:51:07,359
negotiated

1434
00:51:08,619 --> 00:51:10,000
power exchange. Right.

1435
00:51:10,380 --> 00:51:12,394
And that's that's the core of power exchange.

1436
00:51:12,394 --> 00:51:15,135
Yeah. I'm we you know, it's not

1437
00:51:15,675 --> 00:51:18,074
our biological sex. It's not our gender. It's

1438
00:51:18,074 --> 00:51:18,574
not

1439
00:51:19,195 --> 00:51:22,074
there's no specific role that we were born

1440
00:51:22,074 --> 00:51:23,375
into or that we,

1441
00:51:23,914 --> 00:51:27,019
you know, is inherent to our humanity

1442
00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:28,619
that means we automatically

1443
00:51:29,079 --> 00:51:30,059
do this thing.

1444
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:31,820
Right? It's that same

1445
00:51:32,119 --> 00:51:33,980
it's not the same. There's parallels between

1446
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,679
the trad wife, the the women the woman

1447
00:51:36,679 --> 00:51:38,625
is always the submissive. They submit to their

1448
00:51:38,625 --> 00:51:41,105
husband's will. Their husband will always know what's

1449
00:51:41,105 --> 00:51:42,945
best. And I'm like, I've seen some of

1450
00:51:42,945 --> 00:51:45,025
these fuckers. No. They don't. Yeah. But okay.

1451
00:51:45,025 --> 00:51:46,244
Yeah. Versus

1452
00:51:46,625 --> 00:51:48,724
the type of feminism that they ask.

1453
00:51:49,505 --> 00:51:51,824
See what's what's funny. I'm sorry. I see

1454
00:51:51,824 --> 00:51:52,485
the opposite

1455
00:51:53,420 --> 00:51:54,880
side of all this.

1456
00:51:55,739 --> 00:51:56,400
You know,

1457
00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:58,619
I apparently never seen any of these, but

1458
00:51:58,619 --> 00:52:00,860
what I see are a lot of women

1459
00:52:00,860 --> 00:52:01,360
who

1460
00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:04,140
have gotten away from these. Yes. Because because

1461
00:52:04,300 --> 00:52:08,005
The deconstruction, the deconstructing religious. Law. Yes. I

1462
00:52:08,005 --> 00:52:09,684
see a lot of that too. Because what

1463
00:52:09,684 --> 00:52:12,005
they ended up with this because again, it's

1464
00:52:12,005 --> 00:52:13,065
not if it's not

1465
00:52:13,605 --> 00:52:14,105
consensual,

1466
00:52:14,804 --> 00:52:15,385
you know,

1467
00:52:16,405 --> 00:52:18,425
they were in very abusive relationships.

1468
00:52:18,885 --> 00:52:21,039
Right. And sometimes it can it's it's all

1469
00:52:21,039 --> 00:52:22,960
the way to, like, this abusive awful thing.

1470
00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:24,260
And sometimes it's just

1471
00:52:24,719 --> 00:52:25,199
this is a

1472
00:52:26,159 --> 00:52:27,839
we're talking about the the man in this

1473
00:52:27,839 --> 00:52:28,500
this situation

1474
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:29,380
who

1475
00:52:29,920 --> 00:52:31,940
believes he's owed something by birthright.

1476
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,244
I was born with a dick. I happen

1477
00:52:34,244 --> 00:52:35,924
to be white. I happen to be this.

1478
00:52:35,924 --> 00:52:38,164
I happen to be in general, but not

1479
00:52:38,164 --> 00:52:38,664
always.

1480
00:52:40,164 --> 00:52:41,605
And so I get to I don't have

1481
00:52:41,605 --> 00:52:43,444
to there's nothing as merit based. I didn't

1482
00:52:43,444 --> 00:52:44,804
have to go learn a thing. I didn't

1483
00:52:44,804 --> 00:52:46,484
have to get good at something. I didn't

1484
00:52:46,484 --> 00:52:48,905
have to prove I had any fucking sense.

1485
00:52:49,420 --> 00:52:52,300
I'm just this musty dusty man that convinced

1486
00:52:52,300 --> 00:52:54,559
this woman to fucking marry me or her

1487
00:52:54,699 --> 00:52:56,960
parents did or her religion did or something.

1488
00:52:57,099 --> 00:52:58,539
And I didn't have to work for this

1489
00:52:58,539 --> 00:53:00,559
and I had to have to prove myself.

1490
00:53:01,019 --> 00:53:01,519
And

1491
00:53:02,335 --> 00:53:05,135
not often enough, but Lola agrees. Often enough,

1492
00:53:05,135 --> 00:53:05,875
these women,

1493
00:53:06,335 --> 00:53:07,775
for all kinds of reasons and in all

1494
00:53:07,775 --> 00:53:09,855
kinds of ways, get away from that. Yeah.

1495
00:53:09,855 --> 00:53:10,594
And then

1496
00:53:10,974 --> 00:53:12,735
they're they're the ones trying to warn the

1497
00:53:12,735 --> 00:53:15,855
rest of, you know Yeah. Woman kind behind

1498
00:53:15,855 --> 00:53:17,679
them, like, be fucking careful. No. What I

1499
00:53:17,679 --> 00:53:18,739
was gonna say is,

1500
00:53:19,119 --> 00:53:21,280
so there's all that about the trad wife

1501
00:53:21,280 --> 00:53:23,199
thing, the woman is inherently submissive to the

1502
00:53:23,199 --> 00:53:25,460
man. There is a parallel in my mind

1503
00:53:26,159 --> 00:53:27,699
from that way of thinking

1504
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:30,659
to the feminists who are anti kink.

1505
00:53:31,265 --> 00:53:33,204
Because they say all BDSM

1506
00:53:33,905 --> 00:53:35,105
Mhmm. Is,

1507
00:53:35,744 --> 00:53:36,724
subjects women.

1508
00:53:37,105 --> 00:53:38,244
Women are like,

1509
00:53:39,425 --> 00:53:40,864
oh, there's words. I can't think of them.

1510
00:53:40,864 --> 00:53:41,525
But they're

1511
00:53:41,905 --> 00:53:45,059
they are less than. They automatically submit. And

1512
00:53:45,059 --> 00:53:47,460
it's the same binary thinking of a woman

1513
00:53:47,460 --> 00:53:48,360
means submission.

1514
00:53:48,739 --> 00:53:50,660
Yeah. And that's how, you know, those of

1515
00:53:50,660 --> 00:53:52,099
us who are into kink can look at

1516
00:53:52,099 --> 00:53:54,019
the the people making these arguments going, you

1517
00:53:54,019 --> 00:53:55,460
don't know a fucking thing about kink because

1518
00:53:55,460 --> 00:53:56,440
you just assumed

1519
00:53:56,815 --> 00:53:58,735
that the woman is always submissive in this

1520
00:53:58,735 --> 00:53:59,235
situation.

1521
00:54:00,414 --> 00:54:03,614
Not terribly unlike the trad wife thing is

1522
00:54:03,614 --> 00:54:06,414
the woman is always submissive. It's it misses

1523
00:54:06,414 --> 00:54:08,974
the inherent argument. The the parallel between trad

1524
00:54:08,974 --> 00:54:11,679
wife and hot wife domestic discipline. Yeah. Whatever

1525
00:54:11,679 --> 00:54:14,660
power exchange Yeah. Is that's part of what

1526
00:54:15,039 --> 00:54:17,519
where the split is Mhmm. Because there's no

1527
00:54:17,519 --> 00:54:19,880
automatic role that somebody takes because of their

1528
00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,000
And actually that that explains something because, you

1529
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:22,820
know, when,

1530
00:54:23,795 --> 00:54:26,315
you I I was initially thinking when we

1531
00:54:26,315 --> 00:54:27,855
talked a little bit about this,

1532
00:54:28,954 --> 00:54:30,875
you know, that could this just be another

1533
00:54:30,875 --> 00:54:32,014
part of the spectrum?

1534
00:54:32,635 --> 00:54:34,735
It could be if it was negotiated. Yeah.

1535
00:54:34,954 --> 00:54:36,815
And I would you know, here's the thing.

1536
00:54:37,230 --> 00:54:39,389
The only problem I have there are probably

1537
00:54:39,389 --> 00:54:41,469
many problems. But one of the bigger problems

1538
00:54:41,469 --> 00:54:42,829
I have with the trad wife thing is

1539
00:54:42,829 --> 00:54:43,489
the assumption.

1540
00:54:43,869 --> 00:54:45,489
Mhmm. Your gender equals

1541
00:54:46,269 --> 00:54:47,949
your role. Right? Yeah. That that that to

1542
00:54:47,949 --> 00:54:49,230
me is a is a problem. And the

1543
00:54:49,230 --> 00:54:50,989
fact that Sorry. I'm a little bit upset.

1544
00:54:50,989 --> 00:54:52,965
I totally get it. But there's also the,

1545
00:54:53,364 --> 00:54:55,285
because of how people are raised Yeah. You

1546
00:54:55,285 --> 00:54:55,945
know, within

1547
00:54:56,325 --> 00:54:58,644
their family unit, within their church, within their

1548
00:54:58,644 --> 00:54:59,144
whatever,

1549
00:54:59,844 --> 00:55:02,085
that there are assumptions that are made about

1550
00:55:02,085 --> 00:55:04,485
what this woman will do within her marriage

1551
00:55:04,485 --> 00:55:05,925
and how she will be treated and what

1552
00:55:05,925 --> 00:55:07,320
she is air quote allowed to do and

1553
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,160
she's air quote not allowed to do. And

1554
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:09,660
so

1555
00:55:10,039 --> 00:55:12,760
those are systems of oppression that do not

1556
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,760
lend themselves to, hey, can we sit down

1557
00:55:14,760 --> 00:55:15,579
and have a conversation?

1558
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:16,699
If somebody

1559
00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:20,059
wanted to create the trad wife experience,

1560
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:22,059
but use

1561
00:55:23,184 --> 00:55:24,724
the language of BDSM

1562
00:55:25,025 --> 00:55:26,005
for consent

1563
00:55:26,784 --> 00:55:27,525
and negotiation.

1564
00:55:28,625 --> 00:55:30,304
And even if they had all the parts

1565
00:55:30,304 --> 00:55:32,304
that I don't personally agree with on the

1566
00:55:32,304 --> 00:55:34,484
religion or the the politics side. Right?

1567
00:55:35,039 --> 00:55:36,960
Even then, then I'm like, you know what?

1568
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:38,980
Good on you because you've had the conversation.

1569
00:55:39,199 --> 00:55:40,880
Both of you have had to prove yourself

1570
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:43,679
to the other. Mhmm. Ideally built up trust.

1571
00:55:43,679 --> 00:55:46,079
You're you're in this together. There there's a

1572
00:55:46,079 --> 00:55:47,059
difference between

1573
00:55:48,734 --> 00:55:50,194
creating a partnership

1574
00:55:51,054 --> 00:55:53,554
and something that is expected of you.

1575
00:55:53,974 --> 00:55:54,474
Mhmm.

1576
00:55:54,894 --> 00:55:55,394
Exactly.

1577
00:55:56,014 --> 00:55:56,514
So

1578
00:55:58,174 --> 00:56:00,094
if we end up doing the Tradewife versus

1579
00:56:00,094 --> 00:56:01,214
the a lot of this will come back

1580
00:56:01,214 --> 00:56:02,719
up And I will probably sweat just as

1581
00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:04,559
hard as my blood pressure goes up. But

1582
00:56:04,559 --> 00:56:05,139
that is

1583
00:56:05,839 --> 00:56:08,260
an imperfect way of explaining Trad Wives.

1584
00:56:08,639 --> 00:56:12,179
So the Trad Wives wearing day collars thing.

1585
00:56:12,559 --> 00:56:14,319
Mhmm. Look, Evie says a lot of brilliant

1586
00:56:14,319 --> 00:56:15,920
things, but she said something in that video.

1587
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:17,214
I wrote it down and I have been

1588
00:56:17,214 --> 00:56:19,534
thinking about it in when we've talked about

1589
00:56:19,534 --> 00:56:21,135
every one of these things we've talked about.

1590
00:56:21,135 --> 00:56:23,054
Mhmm. Because what this person did is like,

1591
00:56:23,054 --> 00:56:24,734
I'm wearing a day collar, which is just

1592
00:56:24,734 --> 00:56:26,355
a necklace. And they said,

1593
00:56:26,974 --> 00:56:29,635
as a sign of submission to my husband,

1594
00:56:30,414 --> 00:56:32,255
not, you know and they they understood they

1595
00:56:32,255 --> 00:56:33,929
were talking about a kink concept.

1596
00:56:34,230 --> 00:56:35,549
Not, you know, just in the bedroom. This

1597
00:56:35,549 --> 00:56:36,469
is about her whole life. And I was

1598
00:56:36,469 --> 00:56:38,150
like, yeah. Well, I'm not just supposed to

1599
00:56:38,150 --> 00:56:39,829
my husband in the bedroom either, but we

1600
00:56:39,829 --> 00:56:41,269
are still not the same. But that was

1601
00:56:41,269 --> 00:56:43,210
me being judge you. And

1602
00:56:43,510 --> 00:56:44,010
so

1603
00:56:44,710 --> 00:56:46,869
the the thing that was missing in that

1604
00:56:46,869 --> 00:56:48,014
this is my day caller,

1605
00:56:48,574 --> 00:56:50,275
you know, announcement, pronouncement

1606
00:56:50,574 --> 00:56:52,894
from this particular person who calls herself a

1607
00:56:52,894 --> 00:56:54,414
trad wife. Like, that's not being used as

1608
00:56:54,414 --> 00:56:56,654
a pejorative. That's like Yeah. How they classify

1609
00:56:56,654 --> 00:56:57,154
themselves.

1610
00:56:58,414 --> 00:57:00,920
Is it it's like they never made the

1611
00:57:02,099 --> 00:57:04,579
logic leap to why this would be called

1612
00:57:04,579 --> 00:57:06,679
a day collar. Yeah.

1613
00:57:06,980 --> 00:57:09,219
You know, because there's the night collar that

1614
00:57:09,219 --> 00:57:11,619
you can't wear in public, and that's why

1615
00:57:11,619 --> 00:57:14,819
kinky people have a day collar. Right. Like,

1616
00:57:14,819 --> 00:57:17,405
if it if this necklace is just her

1617
00:57:17,405 --> 00:57:19,644
sign of her submission to her husband Mhmm.

1618
00:57:19,724 --> 00:57:20,224
Which

1619
00:57:20,684 --> 00:57:23,724
on many levels, I usually fully support except

1620
00:57:23,724 --> 00:57:25,324
the premise that we're working on here and

1621
00:57:25,324 --> 00:57:26,945
it's not consensual. Right?

1622
00:57:28,610 --> 00:57:30,210
Then it's just a collar. It's not a

1623
00:57:30,210 --> 00:57:31,890
day collars on a night it's your collar.

1624
00:57:31,890 --> 00:57:33,489
It's just Even if it just looks like

1625
00:57:33,489 --> 00:57:35,489
a necklace. But that they took that was

1626
00:57:35,489 --> 00:57:37,590
an, moment of taking the language

1627
00:57:38,130 --> 00:57:40,690
Yeah. Of kink and not even understand and

1628
00:57:40,690 --> 00:57:42,070
this is what Evie said.

1629
00:57:42,449 --> 00:57:44,914
This is and I'm kind of paraphrasing because

1630
00:57:45,055 --> 00:57:46,815
I, like, wrote it down real quick. Evie

1631
00:57:46,815 --> 00:57:47,315
said,

1632
00:57:48,015 --> 00:57:49,394
they, meaning this the tradewise,

1633
00:57:49,695 --> 00:57:52,655
take the collar out of kink and strip

1634
00:57:52,655 --> 00:57:54,335
it of all of its context. Right. And

1635
00:57:54,335 --> 00:57:56,969
that's what's happening. Spitting and choking and free

1636
00:57:56,969 --> 00:57:59,789
use. Yeah. Not really princess treatment, but maybe.

1637
00:58:00,250 --> 00:58:02,409
All of this, it's I've I've heard this

1638
00:58:02,409 --> 00:58:02,909
concept.

1639
00:58:03,289 --> 00:58:04,889
I'm doing it to be edgy. I'm using

1640
00:58:04,969 --> 00:58:06,750
I'm reappropriating it, whatever.

1641
00:58:07,369 --> 00:58:09,690
But I I'm not presenting it as kink

1642
00:58:09,690 --> 00:58:11,394
in in all the context that comes with

1643
00:58:11,394 --> 00:58:13,734
it. All the meaning, all of the

1644
00:58:14,434 --> 00:58:18,034
the best practices, the consent, the negotiation, the

1645
00:58:18,034 --> 00:58:20,275
learning about a thing. I'm taking all of

1646
00:58:20,275 --> 00:58:22,275
that away and I'm using a cool little

1647
00:58:22,275 --> 00:58:22,775
term.

1648
00:58:23,789 --> 00:58:26,829
And so now that term, once it leaves

1649
00:58:26,829 --> 00:58:28,849
a kink community or leaves

1650
00:58:29,390 --> 00:58:29,890
the,

1651
00:58:30,269 --> 00:58:32,269
you know, the realm of people who are

1652
00:58:32,269 --> 00:58:34,510
there to explain what this means in terms

1653
00:58:34,510 --> 00:58:35,170
of kink,

1654
00:58:35,625 --> 00:58:37,784
it loses all meaning. Now did JB catch

1655
00:58:37,784 --> 00:58:39,065
any of that because he had to walk

1656
00:58:39,065 --> 00:58:41,144
away? No. Hopefully, y'all caught it. I might

1657
00:58:41,144 --> 00:58:42,204
have to repeat myself.

1658
00:58:43,304 --> 00:58:44,824
But I thought that was brilliant, what she

1659
00:58:44,824 --> 00:58:46,425
said. Like, I can't stop thinking about it.

1660
00:58:46,425 --> 00:58:47,945
When I think about free use and I

1661
00:58:47,945 --> 00:58:48,684
think about

1662
00:58:48,985 --> 00:58:49,224
the

1663
00:58:50,039 --> 00:58:52,039
definitely with choking, I think about it. There's

1664
00:58:52,039 --> 00:58:55,019
just no context. There's this act. There's this

1665
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:56,699
term. There's this

1666
00:58:57,079 --> 00:59:00,360
broad societal kind of understanding, but you got

1667
00:59:00,360 --> 00:59:02,599
none of the fucking nuance. No. And and

1668
00:59:02,599 --> 00:59:03,420
you know that

1669
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:05,500
the the whole collar thing?

1670
00:59:07,974 --> 00:59:09,094
But and you know what? I have a

1671
00:59:09,094 --> 00:59:11,434
feeling, maybe not this person, maybe somebody else.

1672
00:59:11,735 --> 00:59:12,795
They heard the

1673
00:59:13,094 --> 00:59:15,175
my collar is a symbol and a sign

1674
00:59:15,175 --> 00:59:17,494
of my submission to my dom. And they

1675
00:59:17,494 --> 00:59:19,755
went, Yeah. That makes sense.

1676
00:59:20,119 --> 00:59:22,039
And but they didn't they didn't even have

1677
00:59:22,039 --> 00:59:23,099
the context necessarily.

1678
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,380
But, you know,

1679
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:27,340
let's be honest. You asked most people

1680
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:29,719
and I'm not saying all because oh, no.

1681
00:59:29,719 --> 00:59:30,300
You know?

1682
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,179
You know, most people look at

1683
00:59:36,094 --> 00:59:36,755
a collar

1684
00:59:37,054 --> 00:59:37,554
having

1685
00:59:38,574 --> 00:59:39,315
as much,

1686
00:59:40,014 --> 00:59:41,554
in or you know impact

1687
00:59:42,014 --> 00:59:43,554
as a wedding ring. Yes.

1688
00:59:44,974 --> 00:59:45,474
Mhmm.

1689
00:59:46,494 --> 00:59:46,815
And,

1690
00:59:47,295 --> 00:59:49,159
you know something like that that's thrown it

1691
00:59:49,159 --> 00:59:50,639
right in the Do you know, I I

1692
00:59:50,639 --> 00:59:52,960
wanna say I'm going by memory here because

1693
00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,320
I did watch it. I wanna say that

1694
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:55,619
that trad wife said

1695
00:59:56,159 --> 00:59:56,820
for her.

1696
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:58,800
Maybe I'm thinking it was somebody else that

1697
00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:00,400
I was reading about or watching. But I

1698
01:00:00,400 --> 01:00:02,260
could have sworn somebody somewhere

1699
01:00:02,559 --> 01:00:04,744
made that connection themselves. Or maybe it was

1700
01:00:04,744 --> 01:00:06,585
just Evie going, wait, this is as important

1701
01:00:06,585 --> 01:00:08,345
as somebody's wedding band. I can't remember. But

1702
01:00:08,345 --> 01:00:09,864
I remember that being part of the conversation,

1703
01:00:09,864 --> 01:00:11,885
me going, yeah, that is.

1704
01:00:12,184 --> 01:00:13,625
Yeah. I mean, you know I wear my

1705
01:00:13,625 --> 01:00:15,239
collar when I don't wear my wedding band.

1706
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:15,639
Like

1707
01:00:16,199 --> 01:00:17,579
People have coloring ceremonies.

1708
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:19,980
Right. Yeah. Yeah. And,

1709
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:21,500
you know, I

1710
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:23,320
I tried to take a step back because

1711
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:23,820
I

1712
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:25,800
for years I have said and you have

1713
01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:26,699
mostly agreed

1714
01:00:27,079 --> 01:00:29,000
that we get to make these terms kinda

1715
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:29,500
mean

1716
01:00:30,144 --> 01:00:30,644
whatever

1717
01:00:30,945 --> 01:00:32,625
they mean to us. Right? Like Yeah. We

1718
01:00:32,625 --> 01:00:34,065
have to have a common language and understand

1719
01:00:34,065 --> 01:00:35,345
what we're all talking about, but then we

1720
01:00:35,345 --> 01:00:36,164
get to, like,

1721
01:00:36,545 --> 01:00:37,985
we get to make them ours in some

1722
01:00:37,985 --> 01:00:39,505
ways. We just have to be prepared to

1723
01:00:39,505 --> 01:00:41,765
explain what the fuck we mean. Right? Yeah.

1724
01:00:41,905 --> 01:00:43,345
And part of me was like, wait. Am

1725
01:00:43,345 --> 01:00:44,885
I kinda being a bitch

1726
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:46,800
about this? And is this a version of

1727
01:00:46,800 --> 01:00:48,180
that? And the moment

1728
01:00:48,559 --> 01:00:50,960
Evie pointed out there's no fucking context left.

1729
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:52,740
Then I was like, no. Because

1730
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:56,480
nobody's gonna ask this trad wife what a

1731
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:57,135
day caller

1732
01:00:57,934 --> 01:00:59,695
is. Right? Because she's gonna go, this is

1733
01:00:59,695 --> 01:01:01,695
a sign of my submission. And now people

1734
01:01:01,695 --> 01:01:03,614
are wearing air quote day collars. And Evie

1735
01:01:03,614 --> 01:01:05,315
pointed out in her video, she was like,

1736
01:01:05,695 --> 01:01:07,295
typically if you first of all, day collars

1737
01:01:07,295 --> 01:01:09,054
aren't supposed to be clockable most of the

1738
01:01:09,054 --> 01:01:10,699
time. It usually is like a necklace or

1739
01:01:10,699 --> 01:01:12,159
something kind of in a Yeah. Little thing.

1740
01:01:12,219 --> 01:01:14,059
But she said, we're gonna hit a point

1741
01:01:14,059 --> 01:01:16,300
where people are gonna see that day collar

1742
01:01:16,300 --> 01:01:18,079
and before they assume you're kinky

1743
01:01:18,619 --> 01:01:20,619
because maybe they're not kinky, they're gonna assume

1744
01:01:20,619 --> 01:01:22,164
you're a trad wife. And what if that's

1745
01:01:22,164 --> 01:01:24,085
the last fucking thing you want to assume

1746
01:01:24,085 --> 01:01:25,704
you got? And I was like,

1747
01:01:26,085 --> 01:01:29,144
you're fucking right. Because it's not a necessarily

1748
01:01:29,764 --> 01:01:32,324
a shared experience. The trad wife community is

1749
01:01:32,324 --> 01:01:33,900
not coming to the kink community to go,

1750
01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:35,819
let's talk about these terms. There's overlap. No.

1751
01:01:35,819 --> 01:01:37,980
No. No. No. And see, that that to

1752
01:01:37,980 --> 01:01:40,299
me with with the collar with the day

1753
01:01:40,299 --> 01:01:41,119
collar thing,

1754
01:01:43,099 --> 01:01:45,920
that's not even a matter of becoming mainstream.

1755
01:01:46,644 --> 01:01:49,364
Oh, no. Okay? Because, you know, it it

1756
01:01:49,364 --> 01:01:49,864
loses

1757
01:01:50,644 --> 01:01:52,805
its its meaning. Mhmm. And basically, what that

1758
01:01:52,805 --> 01:01:54,644
that is is it's being watered down and

1759
01:01:54,644 --> 01:01:55,144
diluted.

1760
01:01:55,445 --> 01:01:56,425
Yes. I agree.

1761
01:01:57,204 --> 01:01:58,005
And there's

1762
01:01:58,644 --> 01:02:00,059
and I don't like

1763
01:02:00,940 --> 01:02:03,280
for I don't personally like to make decisions,

1764
01:02:03,340 --> 01:02:05,340
even though sometimes I still do, based on

1765
01:02:05,340 --> 01:02:08,239
what a group might think. But I can't

1766
01:02:08,539 --> 01:02:11,340
help but think about the fact that if

1767
01:02:11,340 --> 01:02:13,019
trad wives, not all of them, and even

1768
01:02:13,019 --> 01:02:15,215
the person who Evie showed in her video

1769
01:02:15,215 --> 01:02:17,454
said, this is not all trad wives. This

1770
01:02:17,454 --> 01:02:18,815
is a thing I do. But others will

1771
01:02:18,815 --> 01:02:20,574
adopt it because there will be an appeal

1772
01:02:20,574 --> 01:02:21,394
to it. Right?

1773
01:02:22,094 --> 01:02:24,515
All I could think is, you know, the

1774
01:02:24,974 --> 01:02:26,195
the anti kink

1775
01:02:26,655 --> 01:02:27,155
feminist

1776
01:02:27,849 --> 01:02:29,289
and anti kink people in general, but the

1777
01:02:29,289 --> 01:02:31,070
ones who call themselves feminists, right,

1778
01:02:32,089 --> 01:02:34,489
automatically don't like the idea of a collar

1779
01:02:34,489 --> 01:02:37,050
on a submissive because they're assuming all submissives

1780
01:02:37,050 --> 01:02:39,210
are women and there's definitely problems with that.

1781
01:02:39,210 --> 01:02:40,969
Yeah. Can you call yourself feminist if that's

1782
01:02:40,969 --> 01:02:42,109
what you do? But whatever.

1783
01:02:43,804 --> 01:02:46,625
But now, trad wives who already, like,

1784
01:02:47,164 --> 01:02:49,025
lack of consent Mhmm.

1785
01:02:49,565 --> 01:02:51,664
Assumed roles, you know,

1786
01:02:52,284 --> 01:02:53,025
some sometimes

1787
01:02:53,405 --> 01:02:56,039
too often traumatic and and abusive and, like,

1788
01:02:56,039 --> 01:02:58,200
all these awful things. Mhmm. And now they're

1789
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:00,700
gonna be using the the terms about collars.

1790
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:02,619
It's like, I don't want

1791
01:03:03,079 --> 01:03:03,579
y'all

1792
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,760
painted in the same light as me. You

1793
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:07,960
know what I mean? Like, I don't want

1794
01:03:07,960 --> 01:03:09,019
that in general, but

1795
01:03:09,554 --> 01:03:12,434
I don't like the trad wife thing is

1796
01:03:12,434 --> 01:03:15,795
mostly not always, but mostly not a good

1797
01:03:15,795 --> 01:03:17,795
thing. Yeah. And now you're gonna take this

1798
01:03:17,795 --> 01:03:20,275
thing that kinksters have to fight tooth and

1799
01:03:20,275 --> 01:03:21,175
fucking nail

1800
01:03:21,554 --> 01:03:23,900
to normalize within themselves. Not Not like around

1801
01:03:23,900 --> 01:03:25,579
the world. We wear day collars because we're

1802
01:03:25,579 --> 01:03:27,200
trying to like not be clocked.

1803
01:03:27,739 --> 01:03:30,880
But there's already some shame and inherent concern

1804
01:03:31,099 --> 01:03:33,360
that people who wear collars have to fucking

1805
01:03:33,420 --> 01:03:33,920
overcome.

1806
01:03:34,220 --> 01:03:36,539
And now we've got this side that the

1807
01:03:36,539 --> 01:03:38,375
trad wife thing that almost kink

1808
01:03:40,434 --> 01:03:42,534
people's views on what they think

1809
01:03:42,835 --> 01:03:45,155
kink is. And you're gonna fucking use our

1810
01:03:45,155 --> 01:03:45,655
term?

1811
01:03:45,954 --> 01:03:49,574
And use our symbol? Like, fucking hell. Yeah.

1812
01:03:51,789 --> 01:03:54,269
Because somebody saw something on the internet and

1813
01:03:54,269 --> 01:03:56,349
they took something out of context. Now here's

1814
01:03:56,349 --> 01:03:58,309
here's something I would like to say Mhmm.

1815
01:03:58,429 --> 01:04:00,989
At this point after having all this Mhmm.

1816
01:04:01,150 --> 01:04:01,969
This conversation.

1817
01:04:03,230 --> 01:04:04,449
For a long time,

1818
01:04:04,909 --> 01:04:06,894
I was of the camp that it would

1819
01:04:06,894 --> 01:04:08,594
be nice to see kink mainstream.

1820
01:04:09,454 --> 01:04:11,394
Mhmm. Okay? Mhmm. Alright.

1821
01:04:12,414 --> 01:04:12,914
And

1822
01:04:14,734 --> 01:04:15,234
anymore,

1823
01:04:15,775 --> 01:04:18,014
I think I've kinda changed camps on that

1824
01:04:18,014 --> 01:04:18,914
thought. Okay.

1825
01:04:19,599 --> 01:04:20,659
And here's why.

1826
01:04:21,920 --> 01:04:24,000
Just for this reason to see this stuff

1827
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:26,819
become mainstream it becomes watered down. It loses

1828
01:04:27,039 --> 01:04:29,280
the meaning of what it is. Mhmm. So

1829
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:30,179
it it

1830
01:04:31,519 --> 01:04:34,105
I it's not a fact a matter of

1831
01:04:34,105 --> 01:04:35,945
the fact that it would be nice to

1832
01:04:35,945 --> 01:04:37,164
see kink

1833
01:04:37,465 --> 01:04:37,965
mainstream.

1834
01:04:38,505 --> 01:04:40,184
No. It would be nice to see it

1835
01:04:40,184 --> 01:04:40,684
accepted.

1836
01:04:41,065 --> 01:04:43,485
Yes. Okay. Yes. That's a difference. Agree.

1837
01:04:43,785 --> 01:04:44,285
Accepted

1838
01:04:44,664 --> 01:04:46,265
for what it is and for the people

1839
01:04:46,265 --> 01:04:48,639
who live it and practice it. Yes. So

1840
01:04:48,639 --> 01:04:49,699
that you could just

1841
01:04:50,000 --> 01:04:51,440
if somebody found out you were kinky, it

1842
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:52,960
was not like the fucking end of the

1843
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:56,000
world for you job wise, marriage. Correct. You

1844
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:58,239
know, whatever whatever. Mhmm. Yes. I I do

1845
01:04:58,239 --> 01:04:59,139
agree with that.

1846
01:05:01,065 --> 01:05:02,445
I think that

1847
01:05:02,984 --> 01:05:03,724
the normalization

1848
01:05:04,105 --> 01:05:07,224
conversation over the different cycles Mhmm. There's some

1849
01:05:07,224 --> 01:05:09,625
similarities. There's there's some stuff. There's some stuff.

1850
01:05:09,625 --> 01:05:10,684
I I have notes.

1851
01:05:11,625 --> 01:05:12,125
So

1852
01:05:13,545 --> 01:05:15,389
but I go back to what Evie said

1853
01:05:15,389 --> 01:05:16,989
because I I have notes on this that

1854
01:05:16,989 --> 01:05:18,829
go with it. So Evie was talking about

1855
01:05:18,829 --> 01:05:20,750
the collar, but basically, they take these things

1856
01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,150
out of kink and strip all of its

1857
01:05:23,150 --> 01:05:25,389
context away. So then it becomes meaningless and

1858
01:05:25,389 --> 01:05:27,264
people have assumptions, but they don't have they

1859
01:05:27,264 --> 01:05:29,284
they don't even know what they're really talking

1860
01:05:29,905 --> 01:05:32,065
about. But people and then my personal pet

1861
01:05:32,065 --> 01:05:33,744
peeve is people who do understand the terms

1862
01:05:33,744 --> 01:05:35,664
and where they come from. Now we're gonna

1863
01:05:35,664 --> 01:05:36,164
conflate

1864
01:05:36,465 --> 01:05:38,704
kink with this bullshit thing, whatever. I like

1865
01:05:38,704 --> 01:05:40,739
that. Okay. So to me, that sums up

1866
01:05:40,739 --> 01:05:42,840
all of these different TikTok trends and

1867
01:05:43,699 --> 01:05:45,640
and larger trends that we've talked about.

1868
01:05:47,780 --> 01:05:50,099
I I came across a study while I

1869
01:05:50,099 --> 01:05:50,840
was doing

1870
01:05:51,460 --> 01:05:53,355
the research to kinda like make sure I

1871
01:05:53,355 --> 01:05:54,875
was talking about the right things in the

1872
01:05:54,875 --> 01:05:55,614
right timelines.

1873
01:05:56,155 --> 01:05:58,315
And the study was not about this. It

1874
01:05:58,315 --> 01:05:59,934
was actually looking at,

1875
01:06:00,394 --> 01:06:02,494
it's a 2023 study by Jenny

1876
01:06:02,954 --> 01:06:05,195
Sundin. I think it's how they say their

1877
01:06:05,195 --> 01:06:07,594
name. I don't know. They are they had

1878
01:06:07,594 --> 01:06:08,414
a little, like,

1879
01:06:08,849 --> 01:06:10,450
squiggle over one of the letters in their

1880
01:06:10,450 --> 01:06:11,489
names and I don't know how you pronounce

1881
01:06:11,489 --> 01:06:13,269
those and I just we're going with it.

1882
01:06:13,890 --> 01:06:16,930
They their study was about a Swedish digital

1883
01:06:16,930 --> 01:06:19,970
platform for kinksters. Okay? Okay. They were studying

1884
01:06:19,970 --> 01:06:22,210
something completely different about how people are interacting

1885
01:06:22,210 --> 01:06:23,349
and and how,

1886
01:06:23,815 --> 01:06:25,994
you know, their worlds are meshing between

1887
01:06:26,534 --> 01:06:29,094
doing something, in an online kink community versus

1888
01:06:29,094 --> 01:06:32,454
whatever else. But what they said about the

1889
01:06:32,454 --> 01:06:32,954
study,

1890
01:06:33,414 --> 01:06:35,175
I think parallels to kind of what we're

1891
01:06:35,175 --> 01:06:37,650
talking about and some of why and how

1892
01:06:37,650 --> 01:06:39,730
this kind of stuff is happening. I linked

1893
01:06:39,730 --> 01:06:41,170
to that study for anybody who's interested, but

1894
01:06:41,170 --> 01:06:42,849
this is the quote right from the beginning.

1895
01:06:42,849 --> 01:06:45,510
So this study, but let's take these trends,

1896
01:06:45,809 --> 01:06:48,690
looks at digital kink expressions at a moment

1897
01:06:48,690 --> 01:06:50,069
when kink communities

1898
01:06:50,449 --> 01:06:51,109
are both

1899
01:06:51,755 --> 01:06:52,255
marginalized

1900
01:06:52,555 --> 01:06:54,175
and seemingly mainstream,

1901
01:06:55,114 --> 01:06:58,655
navigating a tricky balance between visibility and invisibility,

1902
01:06:59,515 --> 01:07:00,015
intelligibility

1903
01:07:00,394 --> 01:07:01,295
and unintelligibility.

1904
01:07:02,155 --> 01:07:02,974
And I went,

1905
01:07:03,755 --> 01:07:05,535
yeah. That tracks. Mhmm. Because

1906
01:07:06,559 --> 01:07:08,480
kink is just mainstream enough that people know

1907
01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,559
terms. They read some smut. They watched 50

1908
01:07:10,559 --> 01:07:12,639
Shades something. They watched some porn. Yeah. They

1909
01:07:12,639 --> 01:07:14,559
know terms. And they know it's edgy. And

1910
01:07:14,559 --> 01:07:16,159
they know they can say these things or

1911
01:07:16,159 --> 01:07:18,000
do these things. And it'll go viral and

1912
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,840
it'll be this. But they don't even have

1913
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:21,505
the context. And so those of us who

1914
01:07:21,505 --> 01:07:23,105
are over here trying to, like, be kinky

1915
01:07:23,105 --> 01:07:24,164
people in the world

1916
01:07:24,704 --> 01:07:27,905
are either having the lack of context understanding

1917
01:07:27,905 --> 01:07:29,925
of these terms thrown at us, like,

1918
01:07:30,304 --> 01:07:31,824
that's what this is. It's like, that's not

1919
01:07:31,824 --> 01:07:32,159
what the

1920
01:07:32,799 --> 01:07:34,319
fuck it is. Or we're like, I don't

1921
01:07:34,319 --> 01:07:36,880
even wanna be associated with this way you're

1922
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:38,500
using my kink concept.

1923
01:07:39,039 --> 01:07:41,699
I can't even show myself because it's been

1924
01:07:42,079 --> 01:07:44,980
bastardized so bad because the context is gone.

1925
01:07:45,039 --> 01:07:45,539
Mhmm.

1926
01:07:46,295 --> 01:07:46,795
So,

1927
01:07:47,335 --> 01:07:48,855
yeah, I thought that quote was amazing. I

1928
01:07:48,855 --> 01:07:51,914
was I'm always happy to find legit studies

1929
01:07:51,974 --> 01:07:55,434
in journals that are not from 1999

1930
01:07:55,655 --> 01:07:57,735
about kink. There are probably more out there

1931
01:07:57,735 --> 01:08:00,295
than you realize. Yeah. So let's talk about

1932
01:08:00,295 --> 01:08:02,070
this. This is, I think, with my notes.

1933
01:08:02,070 --> 01:08:02,570
Yes.

1934
01:08:03,190 --> 01:08:04,230
I know it looks like a lot but

1935
01:08:04,230 --> 01:08:05,590
I had to like put my thoughts down

1936
01:08:05,590 --> 01:08:07,369
so they didn't vanish into the ether.

1937
01:08:07,670 --> 01:08:08,170
About

1938
01:08:08,550 --> 01:08:11,610
because my opinion is whether kink is being

1939
01:08:11,829 --> 01:08:14,150
air quote normalized at all, I think is

1940
01:08:14,150 --> 01:08:15,394
up for debate. Okay?

1941
01:08:15,855 --> 01:08:17,154
So let's go through

1942
01:08:18,814 --> 01:08:20,494
my my points. So one of the things

1943
01:08:20,494 --> 01:08:22,814
I thought about was that erotic writers publish

1944
01:08:22,814 --> 01:08:23,635
kink smut

1945
01:08:24,015 --> 01:08:26,175
because it's profitable and people want to read

1946
01:08:26,175 --> 01:08:27,795
it. But at the same time,

1947
01:08:28,110 --> 01:08:30,430
smut is in romance is still, even though

1948
01:08:30,430 --> 01:08:33,310
it's a multi billion dollar industry, still absolutely

1949
01:08:33,310 --> 01:08:35,149
fucking looked down upon. Yeah. Because it's the

1950
01:08:35,149 --> 01:08:37,890
thing that primarily, but not only, women enjoy.

1951
01:08:38,030 --> 01:08:39,550
And so therefore, it does not necessarily get

1952
01:08:39,550 --> 01:08:41,574
the amount of respect that it should. Then

1953
01:08:41,574 --> 01:08:43,654
you add that sub niche of kink into

1954
01:08:43,654 --> 01:08:45,974
it. Well, we're all just horny bitches who

1955
01:08:45,974 --> 01:08:48,215
aren't getting laid in this, you know, whatever

1956
01:08:48,215 --> 01:08:49,114
the the

1957
01:08:51,574 --> 01:08:53,814
the crap is that people say. Yeah. But

1958
01:08:53,814 --> 01:08:56,289
the kink smut is being written. Not always

1959
01:08:56,289 --> 01:08:56,789
well,

1960
01:08:57,489 --> 01:08:59,270
but it's being written for profit.

1961
01:09:00,210 --> 01:09:01,590
Maybe that's a normalization

1962
01:09:02,050 --> 01:09:04,130
thing, but it's not because it's not like

1963
01:09:04,130 --> 01:09:07,090
everybody's reading kink smut. It's not like kink

1964
01:09:07,090 --> 01:09:07,909
is infiltrating

1965
01:09:08,395 --> 01:09:09,135
our contemporary

1966
01:09:09,435 --> 01:09:10,574
literature or

1967
01:09:10,875 --> 01:09:13,034
science fiction or you know what I mean?

1968
01:09:13,034 --> 01:09:15,354
It's it's for the most part, its own

1969
01:09:15,354 --> 01:09:15,854
subgenre

1970
01:09:16,395 --> 01:09:18,234
that is profitable and that is why some

1971
01:09:18,234 --> 01:09:20,635
people write it. Some people are only writing

1972
01:09:20,635 --> 01:09:22,020
it because they're gonna make money off of

1973
01:09:22,020 --> 01:09:23,619
it. People weren't reading it. No one would

1974
01:09:23,619 --> 01:09:24,739
write it. Which is fine. I think you

1975
01:09:24,739 --> 01:09:26,899
can just create things because people won't buy

1976
01:09:26,899 --> 01:09:28,819
it from you. That's not a problem. But

1977
01:09:28,819 --> 01:09:30,760
that does not, to me, speak to

1978
01:09:31,139 --> 01:09:32,119
air quote normalization.

1979
01:09:32,500 --> 01:09:35,654
Mhmm. That's a profitability and a subgenre and

1980
01:09:35,654 --> 01:09:37,114
a sub niche of specific

1981
01:09:37,414 --> 01:09:40,135
types of readers. Many of whom don't want

1982
01:09:40,135 --> 01:09:42,074
anybody knowing what they're reading anyway.

1983
01:09:43,255 --> 01:09:45,654
Because it's not really normalized. It's not really

1984
01:09:45,814 --> 01:09:48,239
like, it was fine when everybody, air quote,

1985
01:09:48,239 --> 01:09:50,639
was reading 50 Shades because it was it

1986
01:09:50,639 --> 01:09:52,340
felt like literally everybody.

1987
01:09:53,199 --> 01:09:54,019
Right. But

1988
01:09:54,559 --> 01:09:56,739
not you know, you can form your own

1989
01:09:57,119 --> 01:09:59,519
groups of friends and communities where you're, like,

1990
01:09:59,519 --> 01:10:01,519
very open about what you're reading. Please do.

1991
01:10:01,519 --> 01:10:03,154
I think that's a great thing. But that

1992
01:10:03,154 --> 01:10:04,515
don't mean you can walk up into the

1993
01:10:04,515 --> 01:10:07,635
boardroom tomorrow and nudge, nudge your bestie from

1994
01:10:07,635 --> 01:10:09,734
down the hall and talk about the, like,

1995
01:10:09,954 --> 01:10:13,015
unhinged smut you just read. I think you've

1996
01:10:13,154 --> 01:10:15,234
maybe not a business setting. I think you

1997
01:10:15,234 --> 01:10:16,914
should be able to, but not a lot

1998
01:10:16,914 --> 01:10:18,819
of people are gonna be comfortable about that.

1999
01:10:18,819 --> 01:10:20,500
Because even if you were not engaging in

2000
01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:21,939
kink That's after work when you're at the

2001
01:10:21,939 --> 01:10:23,779
bar having a drink. Even if you were

2002
01:10:23,779 --> 01:10:25,699
not engaging in kink, the fact the fact

2003
01:10:25,699 --> 01:10:27,000
that you can find it enjoyable

2004
01:10:27,380 --> 01:10:29,939
for some people is still taboo. Because some

2005
01:10:29,939 --> 01:10:32,100
people can't handle the fact that sometimes some

2006
01:10:32,100 --> 01:10:34,045
of us are reading about people fucking. Don't

2007
01:10:34,045 --> 01:10:35,645
close the door. Don't turn out the lights.

2008
01:10:35,645 --> 01:10:36,864
I want all the details.

2009
01:10:38,364 --> 01:10:40,545
Like, we still have we have writers who

2010
01:10:41,725 --> 01:10:43,564
every reader should be able to find the

2011
01:10:43,564 --> 01:10:44,925
kind of book they wanna read and so

2012
01:10:44,925 --> 01:10:46,545
you have to market that blah blah blah.

2013
01:10:46,685 --> 01:10:49,860
But the closed door romance is off or

2014
01:10:49,860 --> 01:10:51,699
the there's just no sex in it at

2015
01:10:51,699 --> 01:10:52,199
all

2016
01:10:52,579 --> 01:10:55,399
gets marketed as a quote clean romance,

2017
01:10:56,020 --> 01:10:57,699
which is a separate pet peeve of mine.

2018
01:10:57,699 --> 01:11:00,260
It's not about this. But you see, like,

2019
01:11:00,260 --> 01:11:03,060
for people to want to differentiate themselves just

2020
01:11:03,060 --> 01:11:04,360
from sex in general,

2021
01:11:06,494 --> 01:11:07,234
Right? To

2022
01:11:07,614 --> 01:11:09,375
kink is now a selling point. It's a

2023
01:11:09,375 --> 01:11:11,935
marketing point to find the audience, but, you

2024
01:11:11,935 --> 01:11:14,734
know, not everybody is, like, walking around proud

2025
01:11:14,734 --> 01:11:16,654
and happy. Those of us who have a

2026
01:11:16,654 --> 01:11:18,015
few fucks to give, those of us who,

2027
01:11:18,015 --> 01:11:19,074
you know, have supportive

2028
01:11:20,460 --> 01:11:22,300
communities. Yeah. Yeah. Right. But,

2029
01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:24,539
you know, it's popular, but that doesn't to

2030
01:11:24,539 --> 01:11:26,460
me, that doesn't mean normalization is what I

2031
01:11:26,460 --> 01:11:28,319
think I'm trying to say there. Okay.

2032
01:11:29,340 --> 01:11:31,819
Okay. So here's the thing and I this

2033
01:11:31,819 --> 01:11:32,639
is a guess.

2034
01:11:33,099 --> 01:11:33,599
Okay?

2035
01:11:34,059 --> 01:11:36,225
It's it's a guess from

2036
01:11:36,525 --> 01:11:39,185
my limited understanding of the Internet age. So

2037
01:11:39,244 --> 01:11:40,685
there could be a better take on this.

2038
01:11:40,685 --> 01:11:42,204
You might have a better take, but here's

2039
01:11:42,204 --> 01:11:43,505
here's what I came up with.

2040
01:11:44,284 --> 01:11:46,605
So I tried to do a search to

2041
01:11:46,605 --> 01:11:48,204
see if anybody had compiled this and I

2042
01:11:48,204 --> 01:11:49,345
couldn't because I was like,

2043
01:11:50,090 --> 01:11:50,590
are

2044
01:11:51,449 --> 01:11:53,869
more movies, shows, series, whatever,

2045
01:11:54,569 --> 01:11:56,590
being made to include kink,

2046
01:11:57,050 --> 01:11:59,289
or does it just seem that way? Right?

2047
01:11:59,289 --> 01:12:00,889
And I tried to search that. If anybody

2048
01:12:00,889 --> 01:12:02,969
was compiling, I could not find where that

2049
01:12:02,969 --> 01:12:04,189
was. So

2050
01:12:05,014 --> 01:12:07,895
my theory currently, I'm happy to change my

2051
01:12:07,895 --> 01:12:09,574
mind if I get a new way to

2052
01:12:09,574 --> 01:12:12,054
think about it, that it seems like more

2053
01:12:12,054 --> 01:12:14,135
movies and series and shows have a kink

2054
01:12:14,135 --> 01:12:14,635
theme.

2055
01:12:15,974 --> 01:12:19,029
But maybe that's just because the digital age

2056
01:12:19,250 --> 01:12:21,109
makes information more accessible.

2057
01:12:21,569 --> 01:12:24,289
And in the past, the only kink media

2058
01:12:24,289 --> 01:12:26,869
that caught air quote this, everybody's attention

2059
01:12:27,250 --> 01:12:29,409
was what was so popular. Like, just to

2060
01:12:29,409 --> 01:12:30,469
hit the site like

2061
01:12:30,814 --> 01:12:32,975
some news station somewhere when there's this movie

2062
01:12:32,975 --> 01:12:34,654
called Secretary Out. What the hell is that

2063
01:12:34,654 --> 01:12:37,375
about? Right? And did we just miss all

2064
01:12:37,375 --> 01:12:39,295
this other content that was being created because

2065
01:12:39,295 --> 01:12:41,375
we didn't have access to a Google search?

2066
01:12:41,375 --> 01:12:42,895
You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, the

2067
01:12:42,895 --> 01:12:45,295
the movies were being made at whatever rate

2068
01:12:45,295 --> 01:12:48,180
they were made across time, you know, whatever.

2069
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:52,079
And the ratio of has kink, doesn't have

2070
01:12:52,079 --> 01:12:53,699
kink. Is that

2071
01:12:54,319 --> 01:12:54,819
similar

2072
01:12:55,119 --> 01:12:56,659
or has it actually increased?

2073
01:12:57,039 --> 01:12:59,039
If it's increased, we go back to is

2074
01:12:59,039 --> 01:13:00,819
it because BDSM has been normalized

2075
01:13:01,199 --> 01:13:03,054
or if it's because it's a profit maker

2076
01:13:03,054 --> 01:13:05,854
because Mhmm. Of all the different reasons people

2077
01:13:05,854 --> 01:13:07,154
might consume that media.

2078
01:13:07,774 --> 01:13:09,295
And I don't know. I mean, what what

2079
01:13:09,295 --> 01:13:10,114
do you think?

2080
01:13:10,895 --> 01:13:12,734
You would have seen more of a time

2081
01:13:12,734 --> 01:13:13,234
of

2082
01:13:13,774 --> 01:13:15,854
pre Google media than even than I would

2083
01:13:15,854 --> 01:13:16,594
have. So

2084
01:13:16,895 --> 01:13:17,399
I mean,

2085
01:13:19,159 --> 01:13:19,319
there

2086
01:13:21,399 --> 01:13:22,859
to find stuff like that,

2087
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:26,300
I did not come across

2088
01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:27,579
it that much

2089
01:13:28,119 --> 01:13:30,679
because to find stuff like that, you would

2090
01:13:30,679 --> 01:13:32,619
have to have access to an adult

2091
01:13:33,465 --> 01:13:35,305
store? Sure. To find it in porn. Yeah.

2092
01:13:35,305 --> 01:13:35,885
Yeah. Yeah.

2093
01:13:36,744 --> 01:13:38,744
Well, even magazines or anything at that time.

2094
01:13:38,744 --> 01:13:40,265
No. But I mean, like, I'm thinking, like,

2095
01:13:40,265 --> 01:13:42,345
mainstream ish kind of movies. Movies that would

2096
01:13:42,345 --> 01:13:44,045
have been released in a theater somewhere.

2097
01:13:44,425 --> 01:13:46,260
There there were a few in the eighties

2098
01:13:46,340 --> 01:13:49,059
that I remember, basically, that had and it

2099
01:13:49,059 --> 01:13:51,059
wasn't that they the movies were themed around

2100
01:13:51,059 --> 01:13:51,559
it.

2101
01:13:52,179 --> 01:13:55,139
It was there were little snippets of things.

2102
01:13:55,139 --> 01:13:57,460
Like, I I cannot remember the name of

2103
01:13:57,460 --> 01:13:58,359
the movie, but,

2104
01:13:59,539 --> 01:14:00,704
it was one of those

2105
01:14:01,265 --> 01:14:03,524
eighties movie and they had the,

2106
01:14:04,385 --> 01:14:06,725
the trope of the quiet librarian.

2107
01:14:07,585 --> 01:14:09,905
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. After hours becoming, you

2108
01:14:09,905 --> 01:14:12,225
know, the big d and Mhmm. You know,

2109
01:14:12,225 --> 01:14:14,359
kind of thing. So, you know, there were

2110
01:14:14,359 --> 01:14:16,560
things like that seen in the movies Mhmm.

2111
01:14:16,680 --> 01:14:17,420
Back then.

2112
01:14:18,039 --> 01:14:20,600
If you wanted to seek, you know, kinky

2113
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:21,340
stuff out,

2114
01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:24,520
beyond, like, your playboy penthouse, then you're diving

2115
01:14:24,520 --> 01:14:26,895
into your stuff like hustler magazines and Sure.

2116
01:14:26,895 --> 01:14:30,255
Your hard work. Even ones beyond that. Sure.

2117
01:14:30,255 --> 01:14:30,914
You know?

2118
01:14:31,534 --> 01:14:32,034
So

2119
01:14:33,614 --> 01:14:35,215
is it more or less I I think

2120
01:14:35,215 --> 01:14:36,354
it's just more noticeable.

2121
01:14:36,814 --> 01:14:37,229
And it's

2122
01:14:38,270 --> 01:14:40,590
certainly more easily to find. Easy more easily

2123
01:14:40,590 --> 01:14:42,289
to find because there is more avenues.

2124
01:14:43,229 --> 01:14:44,130
You know, let's

2125
01:14:44,989 --> 01:14:47,090
let's face it. We have seen,

2126
01:14:47,789 --> 01:14:50,270
number number of younger people coming into the

2127
01:14:50,270 --> 01:14:53,055
community, and they have been you know

2128
01:14:54,314 --> 01:14:55,614
digesting this information

2129
01:14:57,354 --> 01:14:59,195
you know because it's out there free to

2130
01:14:59,195 --> 01:14:59,695
find

2131
01:15:00,074 --> 01:15:01,375
you know between between podcasts

2132
01:15:01,914 --> 01:15:04,520
and and YouTube's and you know, everything that's

2133
01:15:04,520 --> 01:15:06,680
out there anymore, it's it's easy to find.

2134
01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:08,600
And I would say there's absolutely with the

2135
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:11,720
Internet age, a proliferation of information, of resources,

2136
01:15:11,720 --> 01:15:13,880
because there's websites and there's books and there's

2137
01:15:13,880 --> 01:15:16,439
YouTube channels and there's videos that aren't YouTube

2138
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:17,100
and whatever.

2139
01:15:17,479 --> 01:15:17,640
I

2140
01:15:18,864 --> 01:15:20,885
for me, I'm thinking more of ratios

2141
01:15:21,345 --> 01:15:21,845
because

2142
01:15:24,145 --> 01:15:26,704
the Internet is, like, seemingly endless. So, yeah,

2143
01:15:26,704 --> 01:15:27,685
you can find

2144
01:15:28,305 --> 01:15:31,104
numbers wise. Yes. But, like, if I was

2145
01:15:31,104 --> 01:15:32,244
looking at okay.

2146
01:15:32,949 --> 01:15:34,949
Kink communities back in the day, you found

2147
01:15:34,949 --> 01:15:38,469
people through literal classified as Yes. In the

2148
01:15:38,469 --> 01:15:41,349
back of, like, a magazine. Right? Well, numbers

2149
01:15:41,349 --> 01:15:41,849
wise,

2150
01:15:42,469 --> 01:15:42,969
percentages,

2151
01:15:43,829 --> 01:15:46,024
there are almost, if any, none of that

2152
01:15:46,024 --> 01:15:47,945
today because you don't need that. You go

2153
01:15:47,945 --> 01:15:50,685
to do a different format of the same

2154
01:15:50,984 --> 01:15:54,265
thing. Right? But not every single person sees

2155
01:15:54,265 --> 01:15:56,345
the same things either. It's it's part of

2156
01:15:56,345 --> 01:15:58,284
the interesting thing about

2157
01:15:58,664 --> 01:15:59,164
everything

2158
01:15:59,989 --> 01:16:03,429
ever is there. Yeah. But one human being

2159
01:16:03,429 --> 01:16:05,989
can never see everything everywhere. We find a

2160
01:16:05,989 --> 01:16:07,989
few some of us find a few things

2161
01:16:07,989 --> 01:16:10,310
and we gravitate, but everybody's got their own

2162
01:16:10,310 --> 01:16:13,029
thing to gravitate to. True. True. I will

2163
01:16:13,029 --> 01:16:14,550
probably never get the answer to any of

2164
01:16:14,550 --> 01:16:16,625
that. It's just it's just a thought exercise.

2165
01:16:17,244 --> 01:16:20,444
But, you know, I think in more the

2166
01:16:20,444 --> 01:16:23,005
past few years, I think we are going

2167
01:16:23,005 --> 01:16:23,984
through so

2168
01:16:24,925 --> 01:16:26,385
sorry, Swiss cheese brain.

2169
01:16:26,925 --> 01:16:28,604
So when I was trying to to see

2170
01:16:28,604 --> 01:16:30,364
if anybody had compiled this by number, are

2171
01:16:30,364 --> 01:16:33,099
we producing more movies that have a BDSM

2172
01:16:33,239 --> 01:16:35,340
theme? Are there more whatever whatever. Right?

2173
01:16:35,880 --> 01:16:37,800
What I did come across were lists that

2174
01:16:37,800 --> 01:16:40,359
people had compiled themselves. It was not like

2175
01:16:40,359 --> 01:16:43,079
research or, like, science backed. It was just

2176
01:16:43,079 --> 01:16:45,000
people doing their own thing with some Google

2177
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:47,055
searches and their own knowledge, and they were

2178
01:16:47,055 --> 01:16:51,074
compiling lists of BDSM movies over decades. Right?

2179
01:16:51,534 --> 01:16:53,935
And some were, like, 10. Some there was

2180
01:16:53,935 --> 01:16:55,534
one that was 55. There was one that

2181
01:16:55,534 --> 01:16:56,755
was 70. Right?

2182
01:16:57,055 --> 01:16:58,435
When I would go to look,

2183
01:16:59,239 --> 01:17:01,720
one, the the heavy hitters, the secretary, the

2184
01:17:01,720 --> 01:17:03,400
future, they were always on the list, always

2185
01:17:03,479 --> 01:17:05,560
story of o, always on the list. But

2186
01:17:05,560 --> 01:17:08,460
what I noticed in terms of time periods,

2187
01:17:09,479 --> 01:17:12,360
in every decade from the sixties forward, there

2188
01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:13,180
was always

2189
01:17:13,854 --> 01:17:14,994
at least a couple

2190
01:17:15,375 --> 01:17:15,875
that

2191
01:17:16,255 --> 01:17:19,774
went were available enough or well known enough

2192
01:17:19,774 --> 01:17:22,255
that somebody could, like, find it and watch

2193
01:17:22,255 --> 01:17:23,694
it and go, oh, this was a kink

2194
01:17:23,694 --> 01:17:25,854
thing. And so I found that interesting is,

2195
01:17:25,854 --> 01:17:27,449
like, we go through these cycles Mhmm.

2196
01:17:28,329 --> 01:17:30,890
Of kink bubbling up to the surface a

2197
01:17:30,890 --> 01:17:32,890
little bit more. And and, you know, just

2198
01:17:32,890 --> 01:17:34,750
just to think just to think say

2199
01:17:35,449 --> 01:17:36,590
Uh-huh. I know.

2200
01:17:37,289 --> 01:17:39,449
You know, going back to talking about kink

2201
01:17:39,449 --> 01:17:41,954
in in in mainstream and stuff,

2202
01:17:42,755 --> 01:17:44,454
go back even a step further

2203
01:17:45,475 --> 01:17:48,435
to your to Bettie Page. Mhmm. Think about

2204
01:17:48,435 --> 01:17:49,655
Bettie Page. You know?

2205
01:17:52,914 --> 01:17:55,155
She became famous for There were a couple

2206
01:17:55,155 --> 01:17:57,300
of movies about her. Yeah. With and with

2207
01:17:57,779 --> 01:17:59,779
she came up on my list of movie

2208
01:17:59,779 --> 01:18:02,659
content a few times. Yeah. Mhmm. So, you

2209
01:18:02,659 --> 01:18:03,699
know, it it,

2210
01:18:05,380 --> 01:18:07,559
you know, it it's been. It's it's it's

2211
01:18:07,619 --> 01:18:09,619
been there. It's not that's the thing. I

2212
01:18:09,779 --> 01:18:12,194
you know, we know that. Anybody who's had,

2213
01:18:12,274 --> 01:18:14,514
you know, time on the Earth Yeah. Enough

2214
01:18:14,514 --> 01:18:15,954
time on Earth can go, no. This is

2215
01:18:15,954 --> 01:18:18,034
not a new concept, and it's typically new

2216
01:18:18,034 --> 01:18:19,154
for the people who didn't know what it

2217
01:18:19,154 --> 01:18:21,715
was. So I'm never surprised when I would

2218
01:18:21,715 --> 01:18:23,474
find a movie from the sixties and certainly

2219
01:18:23,474 --> 01:18:25,639
from the seventies, blah blah blah. Right. I'm

2220
01:18:25,639 --> 01:18:27,639
thinking more in terms of sheer volume. I

2221
01:18:27,639 --> 01:18:30,679
wonder if what's happening between the twenty teens

2222
01:18:30,679 --> 01:18:31,500
to now

2223
01:18:31,960 --> 01:18:34,279
is that we're still in that same cycle

2224
01:18:34,279 --> 01:18:37,000
of kink bubbling up, but it happens more

2225
01:18:37,000 --> 01:18:39,555
quickly now because things go viral on Tik

2226
01:18:39,555 --> 01:18:41,074
Tok and Yeah. You know, becomes part of

2227
01:18:41,074 --> 01:18:44,695
the, you know, mainstream conversation about things. Right?

2228
01:18:45,235 --> 01:18:45,975
And so

2229
01:18:46,435 --> 01:18:50,195
I probably yes. More con more mainstream content

2230
01:18:50,195 --> 01:18:53,475
movies, baby girls, sanctuary. Sanctuary was from 2023,

2231
01:18:53,475 --> 01:18:55,229
baby girls from what, 2024?

2232
01:18:55,390 --> 01:18:57,069
Don't think it was this year, was it?

2233
01:18:57,069 --> 01:18:57,569
Whatever.

2234
01:18:58,430 --> 01:19:00,670
The there is a new movie coming out

2235
01:19:00,670 --> 01:19:02,770
or is out that I'd like to see.

2236
01:19:03,229 --> 01:19:04,850
Supposedly a romantic comedy.

2237
01:19:07,550 --> 01:19:08,989
So the prem I cannot remember the name

2238
01:19:08,989 --> 01:19:09,649
of the movie.

2239
01:19:10,034 --> 01:19:11,814
The premise that I've seen is

2240
01:19:12,195 --> 01:19:14,994
these two people, they're dating. Okay? They've been

2241
01:19:14,994 --> 01:19:16,435
dating a while. They go away on like

2242
01:19:16,435 --> 01:19:17,875
a weekend trip to like a cabin in

2243
01:19:17,875 --> 01:19:20,354
the woods kind of thing. She thinks they're

2244
01:19:20,354 --> 01:19:22,994
becoming serious that they're exclusive. And he does

2245
01:19:22,994 --> 01:19:25,979
that typical dude bro thing of, oh, I

2246
01:19:26,060 --> 01:19:27,899
I didn't think it was that serious. But

2247
01:19:27,899 --> 01:19:29,739
he has the poor timing to tell her

2248
01:19:29,739 --> 01:19:32,380
that. I believe while he is handcuffed to

2249
01:19:32,380 --> 01:19:33,920
the bed in a kink scene.

2250
01:19:34,460 --> 01:19:35,840
And she refuses

2251
01:19:36,859 --> 01:19:40,125
I think initially she refuses to unlock him

2252
01:19:40,344 --> 01:19:42,344
and leaves she's still doing stuff. Like, I

2253
01:19:42,344 --> 01:19:44,585
don't think she leaves this capital. Yeah. Her

2254
01:19:44,585 --> 01:19:46,505
best friend her I think her best friend

2255
01:19:46,505 --> 01:19:48,984
comes to like hell and his ass is

2256
01:19:48,984 --> 01:19:51,560
hooked to that fucking bed. Like, this whole

2257
01:19:51,560 --> 01:19:53,800
weekend apparently. Wow. I I cannot remember the

2258
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:54,920
name of the movie. I don't know if

2259
01:19:54,920 --> 01:19:56,279
it's out yet or if it's gonna be

2260
01:19:56,279 --> 01:19:58,840
released soon. I kinda fucking wanna see that.

2261
01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:00,779
Yeah. Because I don't, like, I don't

2262
01:20:01,239 --> 01:20:03,960
love kink being made the butt of a

2263
01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:04,859
joke or

2264
01:20:05,159 --> 01:20:06,140
like the the

2265
01:20:06,484 --> 01:20:08,244
the evil person is always the kinky one.

2266
01:20:08,244 --> 01:20:09,444
Or, like, I don't well, of course, I

2267
01:20:09,444 --> 01:20:10,664
don't like that. But

2268
01:20:11,125 --> 01:20:12,804
but there there's a part of me that's

2269
01:20:12,804 --> 01:20:13,304
like,

2270
01:20:16,244 --> 01:20:17,625
I think that might be fitting.

2271
01:20:18,324 --> 01:20:20,085
I'm wearing the way you treated somebody. But

2272
01:20:20,335 --> 01:20:20,835
so

2273
01:20:21,680 --> 01:20:23,680
that's an aside that does not have anything

2274
01:20:23,680 --> 01:20:24,960
to do with this. But, you know, those

2275
01:20:24,960 --> 01:20:27,280
kinds of concepts and movies are they're coming

2276
01:20:27,280 --> 01:20:29,780
out Mhmm. Seemingly faster and faster.

2277
01:20:30,399 --> 01:20:32,239
So maybe, yes, the answer is, yeah, there's

2278
01:20:32,239 --> 01:20:34,720
more content now. Not just because the Internet

2279
01:20:34,720 --> 01:20:36,100
exists, but because

2280
01:20:36,479 --> 01:20:39,625
the the mainstream conversations around kink are happening

2281
01:20:39,925 --> 01:20:41,864
faster and faster and more and more.

2282
01:20:42,645 --> 01:20:43,385
And so

2283
01:20:44,405 --> 01:20:46,164
it all it kind of just expands from

2284
01:20:46,164 --> 01:20:48,645
there. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. And,

2285
01:20:48,645 --> 01:20:49,625
you know, I

2286
01:20:50,005 --> 01:20:51,225
I I think to

2287
01:20:52,244 --> 01:20:53,305
to a a certain

2288
01:20:53,819 --> 01:20:54,319
extent,

2289
01:20:54,859 --> 01:20:56,880
let's be honest because, you know,

2290
01:20:57,340 --> 01:20:58,960
Hollywood and everything is regurgitating

2291
01:20:59,500 --> 01:21:02,239
so many things. They're looking, you know, to,

2292
01:21:03,179 --> 01:21:05,020
you know, they're they're looking for the next

2293
01:21:05,020 --> 01:21:07,179
best thing that's gonna bring people in to

2294
01:21:07,179 --> 01:21:07,840
to watch.

2295
01:21:08,175 --> 01:21:09,854
So, you know, I I guess it stands

2296
01:21:09,854 --> 01:21:11,854
to reason that, you know, something like that

2297
01:21:11,854 --> 01:21:13,854
would be It does tend to be the

2298
01:21:13,854 --> 01:21:15,795
more independent or the smaller studios.

2299
01:21:16,095 --> 01:21:18,414
A 24, I think, is the name of

2300
01:21:18,414 --> 01:21:18,914
the

2301
01:21:19,614 --> 01:21:21,770
movie production. I I just know a twenty

2302
01:21:21,770 --> 01:21:24,030
four. They do more of, like, the independent

2303
01:21:24,170 --> 01:21:26,110
kind of like, they're not just

2304
01:21:27,210 --> 01:21:29,369
doing all the nostalgic, let's do the third

2305
01:21:29,369 --> 01:21:31,530
version. I saw a thing that said Toy

2306
01:21:31,530 --> 01:21:33,704
Story five is coming out next year, and

2307
01:21:33,704 --> 01:21:35,625
I almost cried. I was like, what are

2308
01:21:35,625 --> 01:21:36,764
we doing? Yeah.

2309
01:21:37,704 --> 01:21:40,604
So so yeah. So I I think that's

2310
01:21:41,145 --> 01:21:43,784
a reasonable people can disagree on that one.

2311
01:21:43,784 --> 01:21:45,340
You know, it's I know it

2312
01:21:45,640 --> 01:21:47,800
feels like there's more. I just wish there

2313
01:21:47,800 --> 01:21:49,800
was, like, research done and a hardcore answer

2314
01:21:49,800 --> 01:21:51,880
because that would just make me happy. Yeah.

2315
01:21:51,880 --> 01:21:53,640
So here is a thing we've kind of

2316
01:21:53,640 --> 01:21:55,880
been was saying a few times and it's

2317
01:21:55,880 --> 01:21:57,895
sort of we're talking about, is it being

2318
01:21:57,895 --> 01:22:00,235
normalized? This is a a thought I had.

2319
01:22:00,854 --> 01:22:02,954
Is kink so widespread,

2320
01:22:03,255 --> 01:22:05,814
like, becoming so common amongst just people in

2321
01:22:05,814 --> 01:22:08,235
their own fucking bedrooms Mhmm. That it inevitably

2322
01:22:08,935 --> 01:22:09,755
goes viral

2323
01:22:10,350 --> 01:22:11,789
because there's just so many people doing it

2324
01:22:11,789 --> 01:22:13,949
and talking about it. Or is it more

2325
01:22:13,949 --> 01:22:17,069
that non kink creators are going viral because

2326
01:22:17,069 --> 01:22:18,670
they've stripped the context out of a kink

2327
01:22:18,670 --> 01:22:20,429
term because they wanna appear edgy and they

2328
01:22:20,429 --> 01:22:22,109
know that it'll do numbers and it'll get

2329
01:22:22,109 --> 01:22:24,770
people's attention. And I that's probably an unknowable

2330
01:22:25,474 --> 01:22:27,715
answer. Yeah. But, like, it's more of a

2331
01:22:27,715 --> 01:22:29,554
what does it feel like to you? And

2332
01:22:29,554 --> 01:22:30,135
I don't

2333
01:22:31,875 --> 01:22:32,774
I do think

2334
01:22:33,154 --> 01:22:35,554
from my personal view, it does feel like

2335
01:22:35,554 --> 01:22:36,295
more people

2336
01:22:36,755 --> 01:22:38,135
in general are kinky

2337
01:22:38,514 --> 01:22:39,895
than my mind could have

2338
01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:41,979
conceived of. It's not like

2339
01:22:42,520 --> 01:22:43,400
75%

2340
01:22:43,400 --> 01:22:45,000
of the world is kinky. I don't I

2341
01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:46,520
know there have been some studies done. They've

2342
01:22:46,520 --> 01:22:47,500
tried to extrapolate

2343
01:22:47,800 --> 01:22:49,800
what that percentage is, and I don't remember

2344
01:22:49,800 --> 01:22:52,440
anymore, like, a recent number. It wasn't really,

2345
01:22:52,440 --> 01:22:54,585
really small, but it wasn't really really big.

2346
01:22:56,104 --> 01:22:57,864
I do think as people get more access

2347
01:22:57,864 --> 01:23:00,045
to information, there is more of a willingness

2348
01:23:00,104 --> 01:23:01,005
to experiment.

2349
01:23:02,185 --> 01:23:04,265
And so some of the studies I've seen

2350
01:23:04,265 --> 01:23:06,649
people talk about are like who has tried

2351
01:23:06,649 --> 01:23:08,409
a kink thing. But when we're talking about

2352
01:23:08,409 --> 01:23:09,869
the mainstreaming of conversation

2353
01:23:10,489 --> 01:23:12,409
and a lot of these things start in

2354
01:23:12,409 --> 01:23:14,810
a place like TikTok or just social media

2355
01:23:14,810 --> 01:23:15,470
in general,

2356
01:23:16,010 --> 01:23:16,510
you

2357
01:23:16,970 --> 01:23:18,704
know, is there a sense of where it's

2358
01:23:18,704 --> 01:23:20,545
coming from? And I I don't really have

2359
01:23:20,545 --> 01:23:21,925
a clear answer for that.

2360
01:23:22,864 --> 01:23:25,024
Yeah. And maybe there isn't a clear answer

2361
01:23:25,024 --> 01:23:25,685
for that.

2362
01:23:26,465 --> 01:23:28,305
But I think it's worth thinking about. Because

2363
01:23:28,305 --> 01:23:30,324
when you see a concept go viral,

2364
01:23:30,939 --> 01:23:33,179
if it can be backtracked to the original

2365
01:23:33,179 --> 01:23:33,679
creator

2366
01:23:34,460 --> 01:23:34,899
Mhmm.

2367
01:23:35,340 --> 01:23:36,159
Was that

2368
01:23:36,939 --> 01:23:39,199
somebody who just set a term that

2369
01:23:39,500 --> 01:23:41,260
they don't like, they're not connected to, they

2370
01:23:41,260 --> 01:23:43,659
couldn't define for you if you bait them.

2371
01:23:43,659 --> 01:23:45,904
Bless you. Excuse me. You know? And so

2372
01:23:45,904 --> 01:23:47,984
all they did was did a little taboo

2373
01:23:47,984 --> 01:23:49,904
thing and went viral. Or Mhmm. Can, you

2374
01:23:49,904 --> 01:23:52,385
know, a kink creator get be fortunate enough

2375
01:23:52,385 --> 01:23:54,404
to actually get picked up by an algorithm

2376
01:23:54,864 --> 01:23:58,385
and them explaining a concept or or just,

2377
01:23:58,385 --> 01:24:00,704
you know, presenting a concept is what goes

2378
01:24:00,704 --> 01:24:00,989
viral.

2379
01:24:01,949 --> 01:24:03,710
Viral. I who the fuck knows? It probably

2380
01:24:03,710 --> 01:24:05,010
changes from day to day.

2381
01:24:05,630 --> 01:24:08,190
I'm sure. Yeah. Now, here's my final one,

2382
01:24:08,190 --> 01:24:10,270
and we did say it earlier, but I'm

2383
01:24:10,270 --> 01:24:11,789
putting it here at the end about the

2384
01:24:11,789 --> 01:24:12,289
normalization.

2385
01:24:12,989 --> 01:24:14,270
Here's my thought on it. You tell me

2386
01:24:14,270 --> 01:24:16,050
what you think. Okay. So to me, kinky

2387
01:24:16,110 --> 01:24:19,315
sex. Okay. Not BDSM, not power just

2388
01:24:20,175 --> 01:24:22,335
kinky, like, the kind of sex that's not

2389
01:24:22,335 --> 01:24:24,015
air quote, what however you define this, air

2390
01:24:24,015 --> 01:24:27,055
quote typical. Right? When it's stripped of context

2391
01:24:27,055 --> 01:24:28,195
and consent

2392
01:24:28,574 --> 01:24:29,074
Mhmm.

2393
01:24:30,390 --> 01:24:33,430
Is absolutely, there's no doubt, creeping into mostly

2394
01:24:33,430 --> 01:24:36,409
younger people's, but not always, young people's expectations

2395
01:24:36,550 --> 01:24:37,289
of sex.

2396
01:24:37,750 --> 01:24:39,670
In my opinion, that has nothing to do

2397
01:24:39,670 --> 01:24:42,824
with the normalization of kink. Mhmm. And it's

2398
01:24:43,065 --> 01:24:45,065
if not fully due to this, it is

2399
01:24:45,065 --> 01:24:48,425
large part because people are have unfettered access

2400
01:24:48,425 --> 01:24:51,085
to porn before they ought to. Right.

2401
01:24:51,704 --> 01:24:54,604
And are also being denied access to comprehensive

2402
01:24:54,824 --> 01:24:57,689
sex ed. So porn is gonna show you

2403
01:24:57,689 --> 01:25:00,170
the kinkiest fucking shit, but it's not gonna

2404
01:25:00,170 --> 01:25:01,929
sit you down and give you context about

2405
01:25:01,929 --> 01:25:03,369
it. You might only be watching a two

2406
01:25:03,369 --> 01:25:05,469
minute clip that was, you know,

2407
01:25:06,090 --> 01:25:08,090
pirated from somewhere else, and now the creators

2408
01:25:08,090 --> 01:25:09,555
are not even getting fucked. There's all kinds

2409
01:25:09,555 --> 01:25:11,395
of problems with some kinds of porn. But

2410
01:25:12,435 --> 01:25:14,055
Mhmm. You know, we know

2411
01:25:14,675 --> 01:25:15,175
kids

2412
01:25:16,275 --> 01:25:18,435
way too young, not even legal, up to

2413
01:25:18,515 --> 01:25:20,914
through, like, mid fucking twenties to a certain

2414
01:25:20,914 --> 01:25:23,369
extent are using porn to learn about what

2415
01:25:23,369 --> 01:25:25,369
they think sex is supposed to be because

2416
01:25:25,369 --> 01:25:28,010
no responsible fucking adult in their life is

2417
01:25:28,010 --> 01:25:30,170
talking to them about it. And then it's

2418
01:25:30,170 --> 01:25:32,189
showing up in these studies where, you know,

2419
01:25:32,250 --> 01:25:33,850
people are just getting choked and that they

2420
01:25:33,850 --> 01:25:35,689
think they've they've learned to expect it. And

2421
01:25:35,689 --> 01:25:38,114
they're spinning and they're just learning to expect

2422
01:25:39,055 --> 01:25:41,155
it because they've got this false

2423
01:25:41,774 --> 01:25:43,695
view of what sex can be with none

2424
01:25:43,695 --> 01:25:46,255
of the discussion about it. Like, a a

2425
01:25:46,255 --> 01:25:46,755
porn

2426
01:25:47,695 --> 01:25:48,755
actor's job

2427
01:25:49,079 --> 01:25:51,639
is to present the fucking fantasy to do

2428
01:25:51,639 --> 01:25:53,639
their job. Yeah. And the the people making

2429
01:25:53,639 --> 01:25:54,840
it their job is to get it on

2430
01:25:54,840 --> 01:25:57,239
camera in the most, air quote, this appealing

2431
01:25:57,239 --> 01:25:57,739
way.

2432
01:25:58,039 --> 01:25:59,420
Their job is not to fucking

2433
01:25:59,880 --> 01:26:02,520
enough so that the masses walk it. Right.

2434
01:26:02,520 --> 01:26:04,039
The people who want that kind of porn.

2435
01:26:04,039 --> 01:26:05,985
Yeah. Right. It is a parent's job to

2436
01:26:06,225 --> 01:26:08,064
and we have failed at it a couple

2437
01:26:08,064 --> 01:26:10,145
of times. I know we have. It's a

2438
01:26:10,145 --> 01:26:11,845
parent's job to watch

2439
01:26:12,385 --> 01:26:14,465
at their kids access to the fucking Internet.

2440
01:26:14,465 --> 01:26:15,985
And if they are watching porn, and we

2441
01:26:15,985 --> 01:26:17,989
have been there, you deal with it and

2442
01:26:17,989 --> 01:26:19,750
you educate your kids about sex. You know

2443
01:26:19,750 --> 01:26:21,909
what I mean? Like, but not everybody can

2444
01:26:21,909 --> 01:26:24,550
or will do that. So it's not that

2445
01:26:24,550 --> 01:26:25,529
kink is mainstream.

2446
01:26:25,829 --> 01:26:27,909
Well, even going back It's that porn is

2447
01:26:27,909 --> 01:26:29,369
mainstream. Even going back

2448
01:26:29,750 --> 01:26:32,649
ten, fifteen years ago at this point,

2449
01:26:35,375 --> 01:26:36,515
grade school kids

2450
01:26:38,175 --> 01:26:40,895
were accessing porn. That's been happening. Yeah. That's

2451
01:26:40,895 --> 01:26:43,854
been happening for a while. Yes. Been happening

2452
01:26:43,854 --> 01:26:44,994
for a while.

2453
01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:47,395
Mhmm. And, you know, that's

2454
01:26:48,690 --> 01:26:50,390
some of these things kinda trick

2455
01:26:51,010 --> 01:26:52,930
ripple back and forth. You know? Things happen

2456
01:26:52,930 --> 01:26:55,570
in porn, and they somebody starts talking about

2457
01:26:55,570 --> 01:26:56,789
it in a non

2458
01:26:57,489 --> 01:26:59,170
kink you know, in a TikTok, and it

2459
01:26:59,170 --> 01:27:01,435
goes viral. And, you know, things that get

2460
01:27:01,435 --> 01:27:01,935
mentioned

2461
01:27:02,475 --> 01:27:04,954
that went viral, somebody's now on their favorite

2462
01:27:04,954 --> 01:27:06,715
porn site doing a search for that term,

2463
01:27:06,715 --> 01:27:08,975
and they're getting inundated with

2464
01:27:09,835 --> 01:27:10,734
all of the

2465
01:27:11,274 --> 01:27:12,635
the things that might be out there about

2466
01:27:12,635 --> 01:27:15,194
it. And, again, what is happening is all

2467
01:27:15,194 --> 01:27:16,350
this kink stuff is

2468
01:27:16,829 --> 01:27:19,390
zero context. Yeah. So people who are coming

2469
01:27:19,390 --> 01:27:21,630
across the information because they have access to

2470
01:27:21,630 --> 01:27:22,130
it,

2471
01:27:23,710 --> 01:27:26,109
because no responsible adult in their life is

2472
01:27:26,109 --> 01:27:28,109
paying attention. And I do not say that

2473
01:27:28,109 --> 01:27:28,770
with judgment.

2474
01:27:29,149 --> 01:27:31,470
I was not the responsible adult paying attention

2475
01:27:31,470 --> 01:27:31,845
for

2476
01:27:33,925 --> 01:27:34,164
too long in a situation, and we are

2477
01:27:34,164 --> 01:27:35,465
still dealing with it.

2478
01:27:37,845 --> 01:27:40,025
You know? And so then these concepts

2479
01:27:41,125 --> 01:27:42,025
trickle up

2480
01:27:42,405 --> 01:27:44,579
Mhmm. From people who watch porn, think that's

2481
01:27:44,579 --> 01:27:46,979
normal sex, now they're talking about it. It's

2482
01:27:46,979 --> 01:27:49,159
getting normalized, but it's not kink being normalized.

2483
01:27:49,460 --> 01:27:51,319
It's really not. Not not

2484
01:27:51,859 --> 01:27:53,239
in my view. Mhmm.

2485
01:27:54,420 --> 01:27:55,719
So is there a normalization?

2486
01:27:56,739 --> 01:27:57,880
I do know that

2487
01:27:58,420 --> 01:28:00,635
once I watched I saw this in the

2488
01:28:00,635 --> 01:28:01,854
kind of the Google searches.

2489
01:28:02,395 --> 01:28:02,895
After

2490
01:28:04,954 --> 01:28:05,454
the

2491
01:28:07,914 --> 01:28:08,414
pathology

2492
01:28:08,875 --> 01:28:09,534
oh, gosh.

2493
01:28:09,914 --> 01:28:12,715
The pathology of BDSM was pulled from the

2494
01:28:12,715 --> 01:28:14,899
DSM. I think we're on the DSM five

2495
01:28:14,899 --> 01:28:15,399
now.

2496
01:28:16,420 --> 01:28:17,399
And they Yeah.

2497
01:28:17,860 --> 01:28:20,280
You know, BDSM, like, just being a practitioner

2498
01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:21,479
is not, like,

2499
01:28:21,780 --> 01:28:24,180
a mental illness. It's not a diagnostic thing

2500
01:28:24,180 --> 01:28:25,079
anymore. Right?

2501
01:28:26,500 --> 01:28:29,114
Around that time as the as that version

2502
01:28:29,114 --> 01:28:31,194
of the DSM was coming out and then

2503
01:28:31,194 --> 01:28:32,255
in the year since,

2504
01:28:33,114 --> 01:28:34,574
mental health professionals

2505
01:28:35,994 --> 01:28:36,895
will often

2506
01:28:37,274 --> 01:28:38,975
try to air quote normalize

2507
01:28:39,354 --> 01:28:41,755
BDSM in the content that they create in

2508
01:28:41,755 --> 01:28:43,694
an effort for people not to

2509
01:28:44,539 --> 01:28:48,060
be diagnosed incorrectly, be mistreated by health care

2510
01:28:48,060 --> 01:28:48,560
professionals,

2511
01:28:49,100 --> 01:28:51,739
that kind of normalization, more of fucking that

2512
01:28:51,739 --> 01:28:52,880
shit. Right? I mean,

2513
01:28:53,420 --> 01:28:53,920
I

2514
01:28:54,380 --> 01:28:55,659
I hate that we live in a world

2515
01:28:55,739 --> 01:28:56,860
and I know this is not just true

2516
01:28:56,860 --> 01:28:58,880
of kinksters. This is true of any marginalized

2517
01:28:59,020 --> 01:29:00,194
community. And

2518
01:29:01,154 --> 01:29:03,175
I don't like to classify us as marginalized

2519
01:29:03,314 --> 01:29:05,314
in the same way that, you know, other

2520
01:29:05,314 --> 01:29:06,774
people are definitely marginalized.

2521
01:29:07,395 --> 01:29:09,314
But the fact that it's like, can I

2522
01:29:09,314 --> 01:29:11,474
go see that therapist and can I even

2523
01:29:11,474 --> 01:29:13,554
tell them that I'm kinky? If I tell

2524
01:29:13,554 --> 01:29:15,390
them that I'm kinky, will they just like

2525
01:29:15,390 --> 01:29:16,829
accept it and roll with it, but then

2526
01:29:16,829 --> 01:29:18,670
do I have to fucking educate them or

2527
01:29:18,829 --> 01:29:19,729
you know, like

2528
01:29:20,909 --> 01:29:23,390
it's there's still a there's a barrier to

2529
01:29:23,390 --> 01:29:24,610
it to some degree,

2530
01:29:26,270 --> 01:29:26,770
because,

2531
01:29:28,215 --> 01:29:30,295
you know, even people who understand, okay, I

2532
01:29:30,295 --> 01:29:32,375
can't diagnose you with a mental illness because

2533
01:29:32,375 --> 01:29:33,114
you're kinky,

2534
01:29:33,574 --> 01:29:35,414
doesn't mean they're looking at you like, but

2535
01:29:35,414 --> 01:29:37,014
I still think you are a well rounded

2536
01:29:37,014 --> 01:29:38,475
human being. Right?

2537
01:29:39,335 --> 01:29:41,175
So I have seen, like not that it's

2538
01:29:41,175 --> 01:29:42,539
the best site ever, but it's

2539
01:29:43,100 --> 01:29:45,500
sometimes decent. Psychology Today and some of those

2540
01:29:45,500 --> 01:29:47,119
other, like, psychologist

2541
01:29:47,819 --> 01:29:48,800
based, therapy

2542
01:29:49,180 --> 01:29:51,280
based sites, the general information.

2543
01:29:51,739 --> 01:29:53,260
I've seen them try to talk about the

2544
01:29:53,260 --> 01:29:55,335
normalization of kink, but that's from the the

2545
01:29:55,654 --> 01:29:58,215
mental health professional side of things. And I

2546
01:29:58,215 --> 01:30:00,534
think that's a worthy endeavor. Please fucking let's

2547
01:30:00,534 --> 01:30:02,534
do that. Let's talk more openly in these

2548
01:30:02,534 --> 01:30:05,175
surveys and these studies, mostly surveys by sex

2549
01:30:05,175 --> 01:30:07,094
toy companies, but sometimes it's just like a

2550
01:30:07,094 --> 01:30:09,414
legit study of how many people are actually

2551
01:30:09,414 --> 01:30:12,329
just trying a kink thing, exploring kink, looking

2552
01:30:12,329 --> 01:30:14,989
up something about BDSM. I think those conversations

2553
01:30:15,289 --> 01:30:15,789
are

2554
01:30:16,170 --> 01:30:16,670
good

2555
01:30:17,050 --> 01:30:18,810
to have. Those studies are good to have

2556
01:30:18,810 --> 01:30:21,210
and promote because it does show you're not

2557
01:30:21,210 --> 01:30:22,810
the only kinky bitch in your town. I

2558
01:30:22,810 --> 01:30:25,335
promise you. I promise you. Yeah. I promise

2559
01:30:25,335 --> 01:30:27,055
you in a town of 10 people, you

2560
01:30:27,055 --> 01:30:28,975
still are probably not the only kinky one

2561
01:30:28,975 --> 01:30:29,954
in it. Alright?

2562
01:30:32,414 --> 01:30:32,914
So

2563
01:30:33,215 --> 01:30:35,155
I you know, can we answer the question?

2564
01:30:37,215 --> 01:30:39,170
My boring answer is I think it's context

2565
01:30:39,170 --> 01:30:39,670
dependent.

2566
01:30:40,369 --> 01:30:40,869
Yeah.

2567
01:30:41,970 --> 01:30:42,470
Yeah.

2568
01:30:43,090 --> 01:30:45,329
But I don't think we're we're fully mainstream

2569
01:30:45,329 --> 01:30:47,250
and normalized yet because you can still lose

2570
01:30:47,250 --> 01:30:49,570
your job. You can still lose custody of

2571
01:30:49,570 --> 01:30:51,890
your children. Mhmm. You can be shunned by

2572
01:30:51,890 --> 01:30:53,350
your family. You know?

2573
01:30:53,725 --> 01:30:56,225
Again, it is in no way the same

2574
01:30:56,685 --> 01:30:59,085
level as other marginalized communities, and I will

2575
01:30:59,085 --> 01:31:00,545
not pretend otherwise.

2576
01:31:01,005 --> 01:31:03,244
But people do have to protect their privacy

2577
01:31:03,244 --> 01:31:04,685
and their safety so that they know they

2578
01:31:04,685 --> 01:31:06,385
still have a fucking job to go to.

2579
01:31:07,170 --> 01:31:09,170
And that's not nothing. So that tells me

2580
01:31:09,170 --> 01:31:11,890
right there that it's not mainstream. Right. Not

2581
01:31:11,890 --> 01:31:12,869
fully. Nope.

2582
01:31:14,210 --> 01:31:16,630
This went way longer than I expected. Yeah.

2583
01:31:18,289 --> 01:31:20,289
Do you like, you feel like you said

2584
01:31:20,289 --> 01:31:22,425
everything you wanted to say? Okay.

2585
01:31:23,145 --> 01:31:24,984
We will do a bonus section. I can't

2586
01:31:24,984 --> 01:31:27,164
do a twenty, thirty minute ramble though because

2587
01:31:27,784 --> 01:31:30,264
my piece of cake from our little sheet

2588
01:31:30,264 --> 01:31:32,284
cake I made is waiting on me. Yeah.

2589
01:31:32,585 --> 01:31:34,680
And it's almost it's almost too late in

2590
01:31:34,680 --> 01:31:37,480
the evening for me to wanna have dessert.

2591
01:31:37,480 --> 01:31:40,282
Right. Yeah. Yeah. But we will do a

2592
01:31:40,282 --> 01:31:43,432
bonus section. Okay. So, are we good? I

2593
01:31:43,432 --> 01:31:46,234
have no idea. Keep it kinky, y'all. And

2594
01:31:46,234 --> 01:31:47,984
we'll see you next week.

2595
01:31:56,225 --> 01:31:56,725
Daddy.

2596
01:31:57,104 --> 01:31:58,944
Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to the

2597
01:31:58,944 --> 01:32:01,399
crickets instead of talking at the crickets? Actually,

2598
01:32:01,399 --> 01:32:02,600
you can talk to the crickets for a

2599
01:32:02,600 --> 01:32:04,439
moment, and I'll be right back. You already

2600
01:32:04,439 --> 01:32:07,320
left me once. Yeah. I know. My girl.

2601
01:32:07,320 --> 01:32:09,079
I know. I know your girl. I know

2602
01:32:09,079 --> 01:32:09,899
your girl.

2603
01:32:10,359 --> 01:32:12,520
She was, ramping up because she it was

2604
01:32:12,520 --> 01:32:13,399
time for her to get her,

2605
01:32:14,625 --> 01:32:16,385
you know, she gets her one high value

2606
01:32:16,385 --> 01:32:18,305
treat. I know. And she does not have

2607
01:32:18,305 --> 01:32:19,744
patience for having to wait for that damn

2608
01:32:19,744 --> 01:32:21,984
thing. No. She does. She knows. She knows

2609
01:32:21,984 --> 01:32:23,904
she gets it. That's her piece of cake

2610
01:32:23,984 --> 01:32:26,305
Yeah. Equivalent of. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be right

2611
01:32:26,305 --> 01:32:27,204
back. Okay.

2612
01:32:32,219 --> 01:32:32,719
So

2613
01:32:33,579 --> 01:32:35,899
if I was a good content creator, I

2614
01:32:35,899 --> 01:32:37,420
would have ended before we came into the

2615
01:32:37,420 --> 01:32:38,719
bonus section and said,

2616
01:32:39,179 --> 01:32:41,119
tell me what you think in the comments.

2617
01:32:41,819 --> 01:32:43,279
I do mean that, but

2618
01:32:43,784 --> 01:32:45,465
I don't know. I'm not a good content

2619
01:32:45,465 --> 01:32:45,965
creator.

2620
01:32:46,585 --> 01:32:47,805
I'm a great yapper.

2621
01:32:48,425 --> 01:32:50,345
I do find it hilarious that the term

2622
01:32:50,345 --> 01:32:51,725
yapping has either

2623
01:32:52,585 --> 01:32:54,284
bubbled up from, like,

2624
01:32:54,664 --> 01:32:57,579
some layer of younger than me slang,

2625
01:32:58,679 --> 01:33:00,840
in some recent time because I hear it

2626
01:33:00,840 --> 01:33:02,439
now all the time. And I'm like, yeah.

2627
01:33:02,439 --> 01:33:04,380
I too. I too like a good yap.

2628
01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:07,639
But I remember saying that word four hundred

2629
01:33:07,639 --> 01:33:08,380
years ago.

2630
01:33:09,000 --> 01:33:09,399
I don't

2631
01:33:10,039 --> 01:33:11,805
I think it was used as an insult

2632
01:33:11,805 --> 01:33:13,744
then. I don't know. I don't know.

2633
01:33:16,685 --> 01:33:17,185
So

2634
01:33:22,925 --> 01:33:24,685
yeah. Silent. You're trying to

2635
01:33:26,204 --> 01:33:28,179
oh, there's a term I can a phrase

2636
01:33:28,179 --> 01:33:29,300
I was thinking of and I can't think

2637
01:33:29,300 --> 01:33:30,500
of it because I use all of my

2638
01:33:30,500 --> 01:33:32,439
brain cells to to do the episode.

2639
01:33:34,260 --> 01:33:35,399
If I ate

2640
01:33:35,779 --> 01:33:36,279
cake

2641
01:33:37,219 --> 01:33:40,020
while streaming slash recording the podcast, the podcast

2642
01:33:40,020 --> 01:33:42,104
listeners would definitely know because because I don't

2643
01:33:42,104 --> 01:33:43,484
take dainty bites.

2644
01:33:43,864 --> 01:33:46,345
I do mostly remember not to talk with

2645
01:33:46,345 --> 01:33:47,085
my mouthful.

2646
01:33:47,704 --> 01:33:49,704
But also the it's chocolate cake, and then

2647
01:33:49,704 --> 01:33:51,885
there'd probably be chocolate in my teeth. And

2648
01:33:51,944 --> 01:33:53,704
YouTube, you would get to see that, and

2649
01:33:53,704 --> 01:33:55,229
nobody wants to see that.

2650
01:33:55,930 --> 01:33:57,530
But I am looking forward to my cake.

2651
01:33:57,530 --> 01:33:59,369
I am sad it's the last little bit

2652
01:33:59,369 --> 01:34:00,810
of cake. I what I need to do

2653
01:34:00,810 --> 01:34:03,689
is get back on my ice cream rotation

2654
01:34:03,689 --> 01:34:06,010
now that the cake is gone. Mhmm. We

2655
01:34:06,010 --> 01:34:08,475
will have cake again next week because the

2656
01:34:08,475 --> 01:34:10,875
15 year old becomes the 16 year old.

2657
01:34:10,875 --> 01:34:11,375
Yep.

2658
01:34:11,914 --> 01:34:13,054
I went to order

2659
01:34:13,354 --> 01:34:14,494
their cake today,

2660
01:34:15,835 --> 01:34:16,554
and they're getting

2661
01:34:17,914 --> 01:34:20,489
it's semi custom. Like, it's a design that

2662
01:34:20,489 --> 01:34:22,250
Publix already had on the books, but they

2663
01:34:22,250 --> 01:34:23,609
didn't usually do it in the size I

2664
01:34:23,609 --> 01:34:25,130
was asking for. And then I was

2665
01:34:26,250 --> 01:34:27,850
the person was like, do you wanna change

2666
01:34:27,850 --> 01:34:29,930
the color on this? And I went, yeah,

2667
01:34:29,930 --> 01:34:32,010
I'd like that blue to be more of

2668
01:34:32,010 --> 01:34:32,750
a pastel

2669
01:34:33,289 --> 01:34:34,805
and less whatever that is.

2670
01:34:35,425 --> 01:34:36,545
And there was a pink on it and

2671
01:34:36,545 --> 01:34:38,145
I was like, you know, I'd like that

2672
01:34:38,145 --> 01:34:40,164
pink to be a little darker.

2673
01:34:40,465 --> 01:34:42,145
And she's writing it. I'm like, I know

2674
01:34:42,145 --> 01:34:44,385
that's so not specific at all. Just do

2675
01:34:44,385 --> 01:34:45,445
the best you can.

2676
01:34:46,784 --> 01:34:47,130
Just do

2677
01:34:48,569 --> 01:34:49,550
Yeah. She was like,

2678
01:34:51,369 --> 01:34:51,869
okay.

2679
01:34:57,210 --> 01:34:57,710
So

2680
01:34:58,329 --> 01:34:58,829
yeah.

2681
01:34:59,369 --> 01:35:01,604
The birthday present is I have not gotten

2682
01:35:01,604 --> 01:35:03,684
an updated on tracking. Just ordered the birthday

2683
01:35:03,684 --> 01:35:04,585
present today.

2684
01:35:05,364 --> 01:35:07,045
But when I ordered it, it said it

2685
01:35:07,045 --> 01:35:07,864
was estimated

2686
01:35:08,164 --> 01:35:08,904
to arrive

2687
01:35:09,844 --> 01:35:12,024
on the child's birthday. Oh gosh. It's like,

2688
01:35:14,729 --> 01:35:16,569
they already can't I mean, they already know

2689
01:35:16,569 --> 01:35:18,329
what they're getting. They sent me the multiple

2690
01:35:18,329 --> 01:35:20,489
links, and then I had to, like, ask

2691
01:35:20,489 --> 01:35:23,069
clarifying questions. So it's not really a surprise.

2692
01:35:27,135 --> 01:35:28,354
So that's okay, though.

2693
01:35:29,295 --> 01:35:31,534
I could've sworn there was something I was

2694
01:35:31,534 --> 01:35:33,635
like, oh, that's good bonus section material.

2695
01:35:34,734 --> 01:35:37,295
I look. I Silent said it in live

2696
01:35:37,295 --> 01:35:39,150
stream, and it's true. I I did not

2697
01:35:39,150 --> 01:35:41,070
expect a rant in this one. Yeah. Can

2698
01:35:41,070 --> 01:35:43,229
you talk about the the whole trad wife

2699
01:35:43,229 --> 01:35:43,729
concept?

2700
01:35:44,350 --> 01:35:45,890
Apparently apparently, I get heated.

2701
01:35:46,270 --> 01:35:48,689
You know what? And it's not because of

2702
01:35:48,909 --> 01:35:50,854
how people structure their lives. It is the

2703
01:35:50,854 --> 01:35:53,594
lack of communication and consent. It's the expectation

2704
01:35:53,734 --> 01:35:54,774
setting that's just

2705
01:35:55,574 --> 01:35:57,574
Mhmm. So if we end up doing the

2706
01:35:57,574 --> 01:35:59,594
episode where we're comparing, like,

2707
01:36:00,454 --> 01:36:04,050
you know, trad wife, fifties housewife, domestic just

2708
01:36:04,050 --> 01:36:04,789
like the

2709
01:36:05,570 --> 01:36:05,890
I I

2710
01:36:06,609 --> 01:36:07,989
yeah. I'll probably get heated.

2711
01:36:08,449 --> 01:36:10,149
I'll probably get pissed off. So

2712
01:36:14,130 --> 01:36:16,225
yeah. Mister Spock, I did not mean I

2713
01:36:16,225 --> 01:36:18,385
did not want to wait this long to

2714
01:36:18,385 --> 01:36:19,345
order said,

2715
01:36:20,945 --> 01:36:22,885
said birthday present, but

2716
01:36:23,425 --> 01:36:26,164
we had to recover from our summer slump.

2717
01:36:26,305 --> 01:36:27,985
Yeah. And then we had to sell some

2718
01:36:27,985 --> 01:36:29,943
shit, and we did. We had a sale.

2719
01:36:30,076 --> 01:36:32,850
A good sale. Still going. Labor Day twenty

2720
01:36:32,850 --> 01:36:35,350
five, save 15% off at the kangaroo.com.

2721
01:36:36,210 --> 01:36:36,869
But yeah.

2722
01:36:37,250 --> 01:36:38,930
And he has some money to hit the

2723
01:36:38,930 --> 01:36:40,689
account, then I could be like, let me

2724
01:36:40,689 --> 01:36:41,670
go order that.

2725
01:36:42,130 --> 01:36:44,534
Mhmm. I meant to order it yesterday, but

2726
01:36:44,534 --> 01:36:46,695
I forgot how banks work after a holiday.

2727
01:36:46,695 --> 01:36:47,195
And

2728
01:36:48,854 --> 01:36:49,354
so

2729
01:36:51,335 --> 01:36:52,155
but yeah.

2730
01:36:52,935 --> 01:36:53,595
You know,

2731
01:36:54,135 --> 01:36:56,854
the youngest is a very low key kinda

2732
01:36:56,854 --> 01:36:58,555
kid on certain things,

2733
01:37:02,789 --> 01:37:03,289
But

2734
01:37:04,710 --> 01:37:06,310
are we having a oh, we're having a

2735
01:37:06,310 --> 01:37:07,850
video problem again? Yeah.

2736
01:37:08,310 --> 01:37:11,204
It's weird. They like like me, they do

2737
01:37:11,204 --> 01:37:12,585
not want anybody to sing

2738
01:37:12,965 --> 01:37:14,264
happy birthday to them.

2739
01:37:14,564 --> 01:37:16,484
They do not want a lot of focus

2740
01:37:16,484 --> 01:37:18,664
and attention. They don't wanna be perceived.

2741
01:37:19,284 --> 01:37:20,664
But they do want cake,

2742
01:37:21,045 --> 01:37:23,045
and they want what they want as a

2743
01:37:23,045 --> 01:37:23,545
gift.

2744
01:37:24,404 --> 01:37:27,819
It's cash. It's Steam gift cards. Their grandmother

2745
01:37:27,819 --> 01:37:29,579
hooked them the fuck up. That was a

2746
01:37:29,579 --> 01:37:31,659
big old Steam gift card. And then it's,

2747
01:37:31,899 --> 01:37:33,119
this gaming mouse.

2748
01:37:36,060 --> 01:37:36,800
So, anyway,

2749
01:37:37,340 --> 01:37:39,119
so, yeah, that'll be before we,

2750
01:37:40,494 --> 01:37:41,614
that I don't know what day of the

2751
01:37:41,614 --> 01:37:43,695
week the tenth is. It might be a

2752
01:37:43,695 --> 01:37:46,114
Wednesday. No. No. Neither. I don't remember.

2753
01:37:48,015 --> 01:37:50,895
I that feels correct that the tenth is

2754
01:37:50,895 --> 01:37:53,315
a Wednesday, but I that is a date.

2755
01:37:53,970 --> 01:37:56,289
I'd just like the oldest, I don't forget

2756
01:37:56,289 --> 01:37:58,529
their birthdays. I don't forget JB's birthday. I

2757
01:37:58,529 --> 01:38:00,130
might not know what day of the week

2758
01:38:00,130 --> 01:38:01,670
it is, but I know the number.

2759
01:38:03,090 --> 01:38:04,229
So Indeed it is.

2760
01:38:05,890 --> 01:38:06,390
Mhmm.

2761
01:38:07,409 --> 01:38:07,909
Okay.

2762
01:38:08,609 --> 01:38:09,109
So,

2763
01:38:11,125 --> 01:38:13,225
oh, that'll be interesting for the stream.

2764
01:38:13,765 --> 01:38:15,925
Yeah. Because we usually do a special dinner

2765
01:38:15,925 --> 01:38:16,425
out.

2766
01:38:18,725 --> 01:38:20,265
That'll be interesting. Mhmm.

2767
01:38:21,204 --> 01:38:23,610
So, yeah, that's our next that's our next

2768
01:38:23,610 --> 01:38:24,510
thing. Yep.

2769
01:38:25,610 --> 01:38:27,369
So if we schedule the stream a little

2770
01:38:27,369 --> 01:38:28,989
later next week, that's why.

2771
01:38:30,250 --> 01:38:32,489
We're letting the soon to be 16 year

2772
01:38:32,489 --> 01:38:34,489
old have a birthday dinner and their birthday

2773
01:38:34,489 --> 01:38:36,375
cake. Right. And then they're done with us.

2774
01:38:36,375 --> 01:38:37,895
Like, once they open their present, they don't

2775
01:38:37,895 --> 01:38:39,574
fucking want us anymore. We don't we don't

2776
01:38:39,574 --> 01:38:42,055
we don't exist anymore. Done. Done. Let them

2777
01:38:42,055 --> 01:38:43,595
go back into their cave. Right.

2778
01:38:44,694 --> 01:38:45,194
But

2779
01:38:45,494 --> 01:38:46,234
so yeah.

2780
01:38:48,694 --> 01:38:50,375
Since whatever it was I was thinking of,

2781
01:38:50,375 --> 01:38:52,280
I can't remember. I don't have much. Do

2782
01:38:52,280 --> 01:38:52,939
you have anything?

2783
01:38:53,719 --> 01:38:55,079
I don't have a whole lot. I don't

2784
01:38:55,079 --> 01:38:57,560
do a whole lot except work. I know.

2785
01:38:57,560 --> 01:38:59,100
Yeah. I bet you, like,

2786
01:38:59,479 --> 01:39:01,880
bust an ass. Work and play Terraria when

2787
01:39:01,880 --> 01:39:02,539
I can.

2788
01:39:03,159 --> 01:39:05,194
The last week, we complained about the piles

2789
01:39:05,194 --> 01:39:08,554
of wood. They are less because finished those

2790
01:39:08,554 --> 01:39:10,954
paddles, but they're I'm staring down the barrel

2791
01:39:10,954 --> 01:39:13,454
of another pile of wood behind the camera.

2792
01:39:13,594 --> 01:39:14,094
Mhmm.

2793
01:39:15,274 --> 01:39:16,814
I've been I've been making

2794
01:39:17,434 --> 01:39:17,934
paddles.

2795
01:39:18,539 --> 01:39:20,559
In between. I would still been

2796
01:39:21,260 --> 01:39:22,719
putting out some Halloween

2797
01:39:23,020 --> 01:39:25,279
decorations. Which I've got to Mhmm.

2798
01:39:25,819 --> 01:39:27,340
Get up on your Etsy shop. And I've

2799
01:39:27,340 --> 01:39:29,340
I've started on the Christmas, and then there's

2800
01:39:29,340 --> 01:39:31,659
the Hanukkah stuff, and Mhmm. I got all

2801
01:39:31,659 --> 01:39:34,164
kinds of stuff keeping me busy right now.

2802
01:39:34,305 --> 01:39:34,805
Mhmm.

2803
01:39:35,185 --> 01:39:35,685
Mhmm.

2804
01:39:37,265 --> 01:39:39,984
Yep. I managed to to find some focus

2805
01:39:39,984 --> 01:39:42,625
and energy, and I've it just means that

2806
01:39:42,625 --> 01:39:44,885
I've been busy again. And I'm like,

2807
01:39:47,649 --> 01:39:49,030
I don't wanna do this

2808
01:39:49,489 --> 01:39:50,630
stupid stuff.

2809
01:39:51,250 --> 01:39:53,970
That's okay. Hey. Hey. I actually got on

2810
01:39:53,970 --> 01:39:55,909
and made took a phone call

2811
01:39:56,530 --> 01:39:58,789
today to do something I needed to do.

2812
01:39:59,454 --> 01:40:00,734
And it was an important one, and it

2813
01:40:00,734 --> 01:40:01,774
was one of those things where it was

2814
01:40:01,774 --> 01:40:03,054
a phone call. It was not actually for

2815
01:40:03,054 --> 01:40:04,734
me. It was for somebody else, which means

2816
01:40:04,734 --> 01:40:06,094
I could do it then. If it had

2817
01:40:06,094 --> 01:40:08,574
been just for me, couldn't do it. But

2818
01:40:08,574 --> 01:40:10,654
then after that, I needed to make more

2819
01:40:10,654 --> 01:40:11,554
phone calls.

2820
01:40:12,060 --> 01:40:13,739
And the first two I tried to make

2821
01:40:13,739 --> 01:40:15,819
went nowhere. Either it was like a crazy

2822
01:40:15,819 --> 01:40:17,739
hold time or it was like it was

2823
01:40:17,739 --> 01:40:19,739
sending me the runaround on the automated thing,

2824
01:40:19,739 --> 01:40:22,159
and I went I'm I've hit my threshold.

2825
01:40:22,219 --> 01:40:25,520
These things can stay undone for right now.

2826
01:40:25,899 --> 01:40:28,194
I did the important phone call. These were

2827
01:40:28,194 --> 01:40:28,774
bonus phone calls.

2828
01:40:29,715 --> 01:40:31,015
I'm done. I'm done.

2829
01:40:31,475 --> 01:40:33,335
I will have to do them, though.

2830
01:40:34,835 --> 01:40:35,734
So whatever.

2831
01:40:37,234 --> 01:40:39,154
So, yeah, I think that's that's all I've

2832
01:40:39,154 --> 01:40:40,774
got, if that's all you've got.

2833
01:40:41,795 --> 01:40:43,739
Mhmm. So then we we will go and

2834
01:40:43,739 --> 01:40:44,719
eat cake. Cake.

2835
01:40:45,179 --> 01:40:45,679
Cake.

2836
01:40:46,300 --> 01:40:48,699
That was that was enthusiastic. We might come

2837
01:40:48,699 --> 01:40:50,699
to next week's stream with, like, frosting around

2838
01:40:50,699 --> 01:40:53,179
our mouth because that'll be birthday cake. And

2839
01:40:53,179 --> 01:40:54,719
I picked a design that has

2840
01:40:55,034 --> 01:40:57,194
lots of frosting. Mhmm. Lots and lots of

2841
01:40:57,194 --> 01:40:57,694
frosting.

2842
01:40:58,234 --> 01:41:00,154
Anyway, so we will go. Mhmm. Thank you

2843
01:41:00,154 --> 01:41:01,435
all for being here with us. Thanks. Especially

2844
01:41:01,435 --> 01:41:02,734
to the bitter end. Mhmm.

2845
01:41:03,114 --> 01:41:04,795
Always always a good time hanging out with

2846
01:41:04,795 --> 01:41:07,114
y'all. Yeah. And we will do this again

2847
01:41:07,114 --> 01:41:09,614
next week. Mhmm. Okay. Bye. Bye.