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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four fifty one. Kayla Lords here with the

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one, the only

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I still can't find anything snarky to say

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about you, John Brownstone. Mhmm. I just love

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you too damn much. Goddamn it.

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I just I keep looking at you and

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I'm like, no. Nothing snarky.

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Just love.

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But what the fuck?

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Well, I guess it's better than the opposite.

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But, you know I mean, true. Yeah. I

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mean, I'm real good at snark, like, at

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the end of the day when we're trying

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to go to sleep. Yeah. Mhmm. I mean,

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if somebody wouldn't neglect

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rubbing my butt, I probably would not be

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so snarky.

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You better be careful. Your butt will get

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so much attention tonight.

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So here's That you'll be, daddy, don't touch

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me, daddy. Don't touch my butt. No. I

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don't want butt rub. Daddy, don't touch it.

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Here's the problem. The,

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baby girl who doesn't wanna be, like,

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at all, yeah, is terrified. The masochist, though?

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The masochist.

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She's like, okay. Bet.

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I'm not that brave, though. I'm not gonna

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I'm not gonna misbehave

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to get it. I want you to give

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it to me because you want to give

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it to me.

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That's how I roll. Okay. We're not talking

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about any of that. This is That's not

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why we're here. It's already unhinged, and we

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haven't even gotten started. You don't take much.

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I thought as a way to continue celebrating

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our ten year anniversary with pod the podcast,

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we would do one of the things that

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seems to be one of the the favorite

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things.

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We're gonna react to BDSM,

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post the BDSM side of Reddit, I should

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say.

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I I say this every time

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because I feel like a disclaimer is necessary.

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I cannot guarantee that I will rant. I

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did read at least one that kinda pissed

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me off.

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I mean, like

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like,

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pissed me off. So I don't know. Got

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stuck in your crawls, they'd say. A little

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bit. A little bit. Yeah.

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So no guarantees. No promises, but it's always

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possible. Alright.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for

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your kinky pleasure in education, and show notes

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are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram and technically threads, so that handle

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I will forever fucking hate. It's loving d

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s and the number one, so at loving

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d s one. I hate

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it. Blue Sky

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at lovingbdsm.

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Blah blah blah,

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or on YouTube,

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at youtube.com/lovingbdsm

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where you watch us live stream the podcast

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every Wednesday. All links are in the show

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notes. A big thanks as always to our

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kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our newest

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peeps. We,

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have been able to be weirdos on the

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Internet for ten plus years officially, officially ten

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plus years,

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in large part because of our kinky patrons,

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and we are grateful for our refunding one

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of you.

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If you would like to join our kinky

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community, get access to extra content, like the

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behind the scenes of what we're working on

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in our relationship this year,

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or access to our Discord server that we

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talk, like, too much about in every episode

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these days,

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you could do that. Just join us at

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patreon.com/kaylalords.

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That's patreon.com/kaylalords

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or use the link in the show notes.

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Okay. So before we get into these Reddit

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posts, one

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announcement. It is literally a reminder. Our giveaway

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is still open. If you heard about it

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last week and went, oh, yeah. I'm gonna

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do that. And now you're like, oh, shit.

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I forgot. The link is in the places.

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Feel free. There's multiple ways to enter.

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It's the giveaway is open until the August.

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I think that's the thirty first, if I

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remember from looking at a calendar.

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Don't ever trust me when it comes to

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dates. But it's the last day of the

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month at 11:59PM

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Eastern. That is when the giveaway closes.

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We're giving away four prizes. The, top prize

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is a $50

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gift card to the Kinkery, $50 to use

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at our,

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our Etsy shop,

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and our tenth podcast anniversary enamel pin. That

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was, like, the big goodie during this year's

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membership drive. Second place is $25

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to Kinkery and Etsy and the pin. Third

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place is $10 to Kinkery and Etsy and

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the pen. And then there's fourth place, the

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pen. I'm trying to get these pens out

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of this building. Okay? Because it's only good

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for the tenth anniversary.

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So, yeah, that is going on.

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Enter to win. Yay. And yes,

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even if you are not in The U.

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S, you can register, enter and potentially win.

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You just have to be the legal age

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in your country of origin. Okay.

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Please, please, please don't be a fucking minor

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listening to a BDSM podcast and then go

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enter the fucking giveaway.

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Please don't.

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Okay. Thank you.

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Okay. Here we go. We're gonna start. I

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have several.

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I'm starting with the one,

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thank you to Silent Wing who sent it

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to me.

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All of these are coming from the BDSM

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advice subreddit. I checked the She usually finds

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some good ones. I checked the BDSM and

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I the asshole subreddit run by our friend,

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Rara of Pink King podcast.

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That needs that needs more attention. If you

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are wondering, am I the asshole in a

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kink situation? Please go post it there. I

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would like to be nosy and potentially talk

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about your situation

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on a future. Yes. There we go. Okay.

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So oh, it's chaos.

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It's chaos.

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Okay.

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Okay. So

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simple. Mhmm. Okay. Short and sweet. Title is

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I need advice. Okay.

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In your opinion,

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should a safe word be taken away if

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you feel like it's used too much by

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previous

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subs?

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And should harm limits be ignored because quote,

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you've never done them so you can't have

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them, end quote.

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Edit to be clear from the poster. I'm

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a sub. I'm fairly new to this lifestyle

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a couple years and don't have anyone to

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talk about this stuff with. So that's why

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I came to Reddit. This is all being

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said during the vetting process,

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and I've never heard someone say this stuff

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and didn't know if it was normal or

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completely insane. I'm safe and he hasn't touched

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me.

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I'll go ahead and tell you it's completely

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fucking insane. Yeah.

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Okay. Yeah. Feel free.

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You know. Wow.

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Wow, indeed. Yeah. Have your safe word first

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of all, have your safe word taken away.

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Fuck you. You. Right?

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Exactly. Safe word taken away because somebody else

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used to do much. What's that got to

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do with me? I know. Right? What what

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yeah. What What? One's one's got nothing to

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do with the other. In no way. That

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sounds like a you issue. And maybe if

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your subs are constantly safe

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out, you need to look in a mirror.

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Right. Because it's one thing to play to

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an edge, but if they are all always

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safe word. If they are always using that

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safe word,

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then, you know To the point that a

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future sub can't use it. What the fuck?

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Fuck that shit.

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Yeah. You're right.

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Took the words right out of your mouth

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now.

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Yep. So I think we're clear on that

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one. Yes. We are. Okay. Would you like

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to like, let's talk about the

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you can't really have a hard limit if

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you haven't done the thing. Bullshit.

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I didn't even know how to say it.

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There are things I have never tried. I

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don't have to try. And I know that

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I am never gonna try them. Right. I

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don't want to. That's enough of a thing

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a reason for something to be a hard

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line. Who cares if you tried it and

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hated it? Now it's a hard line. I

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don't want

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to is the answer. Right. Valid answer. Yeah.

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The rest is bullshit. Mhmm. As as daddy

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said, just do what daddy says and daddy

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said it was bullshit.

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Yeah. That that one makes me a little

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hot under the collar. I'm glad this person

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came to a space to go,

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Yeah. It it this this isn't normal. I

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mean, that's essentially what they were like. This

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isn't normal.

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Pretty I mean,

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I'd be curious. I don't want to know

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the person they're vetting. I have no interest.

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But I would like to be a nosy

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bitch and know more about said Yeah. Person

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because

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that's pretty bold to just put that out

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there Yeah. With your whole chest.

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Yeah. I I mean, come on. That's I

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mean, I I'm glad because then you can

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go, oh, you are walking red flag. I'll

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I'm done. Yeah. It's And, you know, even

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even the thing with the with the hard

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limits, to me, that's manipulative. Oh, it's very

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manipulative. Yeah. It's very it's invalidating

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what you do and don't wanna do by

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saying that there's a standard you have to

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meet to decide what you don't wanna do.

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Nope. That's not how any of that works.

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Mhmm. Yes. On one hand, I'm like, wow.

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I'm so glad this asshole was this asshole

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during the vetting process.

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But to be that bold

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means that that's been said before and decisions

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have been made before and they're not questioning

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themselves as to whether they should keep with

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these assertions.

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I'm very sorry for anybody else who has

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come across their fucking past. Right.

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That one is kind of simple. Thank you,

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Silent. I do

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I'm sweating in all of the places now

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from the blood pressure going up. So I

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appreciate you. So what she's saying is that

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she's pre ranting.

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She's I think that does kind of count

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as a rant. It's just a short and

265
00:09:41,365 --> 00:09:43,305
sweet one. Yeah. I mean, once I say

266
00:09:43,524 --> 00:09:45,865
no and motherfucker, we're kind of done. Right?

267
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,289
Like okay. So there's that one. Okay. The

268
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,330
next one. Okay. This is interesting because I

269
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,490
have I had clear thoughts, but I've never

270
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:57,129
heard this, like, as an idea before. Mhmm.

271
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:57,629
Title,

272
00:09:58,009 --> 00:09:58,509
boyfriend

273
00:09:59,210 --> 00:10:03,085
boyfriend? Yeah. Boyfriend kink involves me getting sunburned.

274
00:10:04,665 --> 00:10:07,545
My boyfriend is really into hardcore pain during

275
00:10:07,545 --> 00:10:10,105
our rougher sex moments. He loves slapping my

276
00:10:10,105 --> 00:10:12,425
breasts, punching my stomach, and even has suggested

277
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:14,720
using a knife on me. Well, recently, I

278
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,559
came back from doing DoorDash and my car

279
00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:18,399
doesn't have any AC, so I'm boiling out

280
00:10:18,399 --> 00:10:20,559
there with the windows down. I got sunburned

281
00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,399
pretty bad on my left shoulder and arm.

282
00:10:22,399 --> 00:10:24,879
At first, he was concerned, but yesterday, he

283
00:10:24,879 --> 00:10:26,559
made the comment of us going down to

284
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,914
our local lake without me wearing sunscreen for

285
00:10:28,914 --> 00:10:31,475
a few hours and me getting absolutely cooked

286
00:10:31,475 --> 00:10:33,475
out there was a turn on. I was

287
00:10:33,475 --> 00:10:35,334
like, oh, yeah. Okay.

288
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:39,074
But this one I have now already hurts

289
00:10:39,074 --> 00:10:41,315
pretty damn bad, like, it's on and off.

290
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,754
So what should I do here? I don't

291
00:10:42,754 --> 00:10:44,309
know if I wanna be a new skin

292
00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:46,549
color for a few days and in this

293
00:10:46,549 --> 00:10:49,190
kind of pain. And it's female 28, male

294
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,129
25. That's So They're not Yeah.

295
00:10:58,975 --> 00:11:00,495
I don't like it. That's what I'm gonna

296
00:11:00,495 --> 00:11:02,334
tell you right straight up front. I I

297
00:11:02,334 --> 00:11:03,794
don't either, you know,

298
00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:06,115
because here's here's the thing.

299
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,914
Getting not wearing

300
00:11:09,779 --> 00:11:10,279
sunscreen

301
00:11:11,139 --> 00:11:13,080
and being out in the sun to deliberately

302
00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:14,200
get a suntan,

303
00:11:14,659 --> 00:11:16,600
knowing what we know about

304
00:11:17,779 --> 00:11:20,120
doing that to your skin and the possibility

305
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,100
of cancer. I mean, assuming you're not on

306
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,539
the side of the internet that tries to

307
00:11:23,539 --> 00:11:25,514
tell you that sunscreen doesn't work and it's

308
00:11:25,514 --> 00:11:27,595
the toxic thing. But that's a whole different

309
00:11:27,595 --> 00:11:30,075
other wrapper. Exactly. You know, so In general.

310
00:11:30,075 --> 00:11:32,555
Yeah. Now, you know, I I know it's

311
00:11:32,555 --> 00:11:33,835
gonna, you know, it's come down to the

312
00:11:33,835 --> 00:11:36,014
point of, you know, somebody is gonna consent

313
00:11:36,075 --> 00:11:38,235
consent to something. Grown people can do what

314
00:11:38,235 --> 00:11:40,200
grown people wanna do to a certain extent,

315
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,179
unfortunately. Yeah. So, you know, but,

316
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,379
you know, no. I mean No. You know,

317
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,720
but not with the health risk. Right. Because

318
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,320
the risk is not even there's the immediate

319
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,014
risk because a sunburn can lead to sun

320
00:11:53,014 --> 00:11:54,855
poisoning, could put you in the hospital. Right.

321
00:11:54,855 --> 00:11:56,855
That's there's that risk. But then there's future

322
00:11:56,855 --> 00:11:58,615
risk that you actually can't plan for. You

323
00:11:58,615 --> 00:12:00,694
can't mitigate and you can't plan for it

324
00:12:00,694 --> 00:12:02,394
because it could happen.

325
00:12:02,855 --> 00:12:04,054
Mhmm. And when it does, it could be

326
00:12:04,054 --> 00:12:05,034
literal decades

327
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,559
into the future, potentially. Or it it rears

328
00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:10,399
its ugly head and you know, boom, you

329
00:12:10,399 --> 00:12:11,059
got some

330
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:14,019
stuff going on. I can see

331
00:12:14,879 --> 00:12:17,039
I can see assuming both parties are willing.

332
00:12:17,039 --> 00:12:18,579
If the sunburn happened

333
00:12:19,214 --> 00:12:19,714
unintentionally

334
00:12:20,095 --> 00:12:21,934
Mhmm. And there's some misery there and you

335
00:12:21,934 --> 00:12:24,334
wanna play with that, I that's that cool

336
00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:26,754
because it happened and you weren't try hopefully

337
00:12:26,815 --> 00:12:28,174
hopefully you'll go, oh, next time I should

338
00:12:28,174 --> 00:12:30,894
put on more sunscreen. That would be, my

339
00:12:30,894 --> 00:12:33,315
PSA for Sunscreen. Those of you out there.

340
00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:36,410
But not to purposefully

341
00:12:37,670 --> 00:12:38,170
go

342
00:12:39,269 --> 00:12:40,170
out to

343
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:43,509
burn your skin in an uncontrolled way. Like

344
00:12:43,509 --> 00:12:45,269
this is not we're pouring a wax that

345
00:12:45,269 --> 00:12:47,050
we know the temperature of. This is not

346
00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:50,065
like there's there's several reasons why I just

347
00:12:50,065 --> 00:12:52,304
don't like it. Now Yeah. I don't know

348
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:55,345
if I'm being too sensitive. Okay. Possible because

349
00:12:55,345 --> 00:12:56,945
what I know about impact is we keep

350
00:12:56,945 --> 00:13:00,065
it mostly to the back. Mhmm. This line

351
00:13:00,065 --> 00:13:01,284
from the

352
00:13:02,069 --> 00:13:02,870
the poster

353
00:13:03,269 --> 00:13:06,309
Mhmm. That okay. Slapping breasts, that's fine. Yeah.

354
00:13:06,709 --> 00:13:09,750
Using a knife, that's limit Stomach punching. Yeah.

355
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:12,230
Punching my stomach. I'm Yeah. I do not

356
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:14,309
doubt that some kinkster out there can do

357
00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:16,225
it and feel like they have mitigated the

358
00:13:16,225 --> 00:13:18,465
risk, and it's as safe as that's ever

359
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,625
gonna be. But there's something about that makes

360
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:22,485
me feel very uncomfortable

361
00:13:24,865 --> 00:13:27,044
because of the risks. Those are soft organs

362
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:29,250
in there. You know, as as as as

363
00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,309
a kid who,

364
00:13:31,649 --> 00:13:33,190
got into share of fights

365
00:13:33,809 --> 00:13:35,509
and had been punched in the stomach,

366
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:37,889
for me, that's not something I would want

367
00:13:37,889 --> 00:13:40,450
to do on a whim. No. No. You

368
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,290
know, or, you know, for for kicks and

369
00:13:42,290 --> 00:13:42,735
giggles.

370
00:13:43,774 --> 00:13:46,014
And then then you start thinking about the

371
00:13:46,014 --> 00:13:46,995
thing, you know,

372
00:13:48,014 --> 00:13:50,894
kink is risk. Kink is risk. There is

373
00:13:50,894 --> 00:13:53,794
a risk with every single thing we do.

374
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,790
Punching somebody in the stomach, all soft organs

375
00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:58,250
there, too much

376
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,149
Yeah. Potential for for serious harm. Mhmm. You

377
00:14:02,149 --> 00:14:03,990
know, that's why, you know, and they say

378
00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:06,629
when you hit, even when we learned to

379
00:14:06,629 --> 00:14:09,370
do punching Mhmm. You know, years ago,

380
00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:13,754
the person who who taught that was very,

381
00:14:13,754 --> 00:14:14,254
very

382
00:14:17,434 --> 00:14:17,934
strict

383
00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:20,634
about where Oh, yeah. I've actually pulled out

384
00:14:20,634 --> 00:14:22,315
an anatomy book and was like, do you

385
00:14:22,315 --> 00:14:24,235
see this? This is where you punch. Don't

386
00:14:24,235 --> 00:14:26,620
punch here. Don't do that. It was very

387
00:14:26,679 --> 00:14:29,259
explicit Mhmm. On on where you can,

388
00:14:29,639 --> 00:14:32,199
you know, do that. Mhmm. Any anywhere muscle.

389
00:14:32,199 --> 00:14:33,720
You don't do, you know, where it's soft.

390
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,639
You don't do Don't do bones. You don't

391
00:14:35,639 --> 00:14:37,339
do that. Yeah. So,

392
00:14:37,735 --> 00:14:38,554
you know, no.

393
00:14:38,855 --> 00:14:40,454
So I pointed out one because Kind of.

394
00:14:40,615 --> 00:14:42,774
The punching of a stomach is makes me

395
00:14:42,774 --> 00:14:45,095
queasy. Mhmm. But also, I feel like that's

396
00:14:45,095 --> 00:14:46,875
the pattern. This person is not

397
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,315
there's no such thing as a 100% guaranteed

398
00:14:50,375 --> 00:14:52,200
safety and kink. There. Said it.

399
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,720
They they not they not they sound risky

400
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,160
to me. Yeah. They sound like they are

401
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,919
willing to go to an and that's a

402
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000
now that's a personal preference. I get that.

403
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,540
But punching a stomach

404
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,299
when that's soft tissue and organs and sunburn,

405
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:08,095
which is can can literally send you to

406
00:15:08,095 --> 00:15:10,014
the hospital, but also future health

407
00:15:10,654 --> 00:15:13,455
like, something about this person is not reading

408
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:13,955
as

409
00:15:14,575 --> 00:15:15,394
risk aware,

410
00:15:17,774 --> 00:15:18,754
safety minded.

411
00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:21,215
Shit. I I just had the word, and

412
00:15:21,215 --> 00:15:22,434
I lost it now.

413
00:15:25,220 --> 00:15:27,139
You know, almost seems like they,

414
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:30,340
that's what they're doing. They're chasing, you know,

415
00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:30,840
that

416
00:15:32,659 --> 00:15:35,745
that risk, that excitement that Sure. You know?

417
00:15:36,225 --> 00:15:39,445
Mhmm. Well, they're into the hardcore pain clearly

418
00:15:39,504 --> 00:15:41,125
giving it. Yeah. You know?

419
00:15:41,904 --> 00:15:43,284
This person does not

420
00:15:43,585 --> 00:15:45,845
really say that they if they are

421
00:15:46,304 --> 00:15:48,544
truly into it being on the receiving end.

422
00:15:48,544 --> 00:15:50,725
Mhmm. I hope so. I hope so.

423
00:15:51,529 --> 00:15:53,529
I'm it's I mean, no. Plea please please

424
00:15:53,529 --> 00:15:56,250
don't purposely go get sunburned just to feel

425
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:58,910
the pain. Take advantage of if it happens,

426
00:15:59,129 --> 00:15:59,629
oopsie.

427
00:16:00,730 --> 00:16:02,190
Sure. And you're into it.

428
00:16:02,649 --> 00:16:05,389
Mhmm. Yeah. Let's let's not purposefully

429
00:16:06,035 --> 00:16:07,415
risk future cancer

430
00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:10,934
just for a scene. I just Yeah. No.

431
00:16:10,995 --> 00:16:12,595
No. And then somebody in the live chat

432
00:16:12,595 --> 00:16:14,035
was talking about, and, yeah, is he gonna,

433
00:16:14,035 --> 00:16:16,434
like, take care of of his partner and,

434
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,675
like, keep it the aloe and the this

435
00:16:18,675 --> 00:16:20,720
and the that and the like, because it's

436
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,299
it's miserable Oh, yeah. To have a sunburn.

437
00:16:23,839 --> 00:16:25,379
Mhmm. Okay. So

438
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,940
there we are on that one. Okay.

439
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,419
Next one.

440
00:16:35,345 --> 00:16:35,845
Title.

441
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,125
He's 39.

442
00:16:39,745 --> 00:16:40,725
I'm 19.

443
00:16:41,904 --> 00:16:42,804
I understand

444
00:16:43,184 --> 00:16:44,004
the secrecy

445
00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:45,684
but it still

446
00:16:46,144 --> 00:16:46,644
stings.

447
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:49,399
Go ahead and be mad before I read

448
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:52,539
it. It's fine. Okay. Here we go. Yeah.

449
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,360
I'm 19 and I'm in a relationship with

450
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,279
a man who's 39. He's my dom and

451
00:16:58,279 --> 00:17:00,600
also my daddy. The age gap is huge

452
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,360
and I know that alone would be enough

453
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,361
for most people to freak out. Add in

454
00:17:04,361 --> 00:17:06,514
the BDSM and how we met. There's no

455
00:17:06,514 --> 00:17:08,668
way I could explain this to my parents.

456
00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:10,821
I don't have a close relationship with them

457
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,975
and I don't plan to tell them about

458
00:17:12,975 --> 00:17:15,128
us anytime soon. But still, when he said

459
00:17:15,128 --> 00:17:17,282
he didn't want my parents to know, something

460
00:17:17,282 --> 00:17:20,029
inside me flinched. I know he's being realistic.

461
00:17:20,089 --> 00:17:22,089
I know it's complicated, but a part of

462
00:17:22,089 --> 00:17:24,089
me wished he had said, if it ever

463
00:17:24,089 --> 00:17:25,849
came down to it, I'd stand beside you

464
00:17:25,849 --> 00:17:28,190
or I'm not ashamed of what we have.

465
00:17:28,490 --> 00:17:30,490
Maybe I'm being too emotional. Maybe I just

466
00:17:30,490 --> 00:17:31,769
wanted to feel like we could be a

467
00:17:31,769 --> 00:17:33,585
real couple and not a secret to be

468
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,625
hidden. Has anyone else felt this? I'm not

469
00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:38,805
angry, just quietly disappointed.

470
00:17:39,265 --> 00:17:41,265
Honey, I want you to get real fucking

471
00:17:41,265 --> 00:17:43,265
angry. Right. I want you to get so

472
00:17:43,265 --> 00:17:44,325
goddamn angry

473
00:17:44,625 --> 00:17:46,384
that you were seeing red. That is what

474
00:17:46,384 --> 00:17:47,444
I want for you.

475
00:17:47,759 --> 00:17:48,820
They're they're, you

476
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,960
know yeah. Something's not right there. Nothing about

477
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,220
this. Nothing about this. Yeah. No. No.

478
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:56,180
Nope.

479
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,200
Yeah. Here's here's the thing. I'd I'd like

480
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,099
to do a

481
00:18:02,845 --> 00:18:04,924
little background search on this fella. Right. I

482
00:18:04,924 --> 00:18:05,745
got questions.

483
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,045
Because I I I had the feeling he's

484
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:10,684
hiding some shit. Oh. Well, because here's the

485
00:18:10,684 --> 00:18:12,924
thing. Here's the thing. We do not say

486
00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:14,525
too much about age gap. There's an eighteen

487
00:18:14,525 --> 00:18:16,445
year difference. I was in my fucking thirties

488
00:18:16,445 --> 00:18:18,409
though, y'all, when it all went down.

489
00:18:18,869 --> 00:18:21,190
And we've had this conversation before, I think,

490
00:18:21,190 --> 00:18:21,769
in previous

491
00:18:22,069 --> 00:18:25,450
episodes like this, where I have an opinion

492
00:18:25,909 --> 00:18:26,409
about

493
00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:27,450
especially,

494
00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:32,164
I do not know their gender, but my

495
00:18:32,164 --> 00:18:33,464
brain said female. That doesn't necessarily

496
00:18:34,005 --> 00:18:36,484
mean anything. It could be anybody. It really

497
00:18:36,484 --> 00:18:38,565
doesn't fucking matter. But I would say I

498
00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:41,125
do not think a 19 year old being

499
00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:44,244
with somebody 20, 15, 20, whatever years older

500
00:18:44,244 --> 00:18:46,390
than is a good thing. But I also

501
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:48,789
have that sort of but you're adults and

502
00:18:48,789 --> 00:18:50,470
once you hit that age, you get to

503
00:18:50,470 --> 00:18:52,170
decide and just, you know,

504
00:18:52,789 --> 00:18:54,549
try to assess the risk. Try to vet.

505
00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:56,950
Try to right? In general, that's what the

506
00:18:56,950 --> 00:18:57,769
fuck I think.

507
00:18:58,325 --> 00:19:00,025
This situation, that was predatory

508
00:19:00,644 --> 00:19:02,265
because you know

509
00:19:02,884 --> 00:19:05,605
you sought out a 19 year old and

510
00:19:05,605 --> 00:19:06,744
were they 18?

511
00:19:07,285 --> 00:19:08,805
Mhmm. Did you meet them when they were

512
00:19:08,805 --> 00:19:11,365
17? Yeah. And you've been biding your time?

513
00:19:11,365 --> 00:19:13,045
But now you don't want anybody to know

514
00:19:13,045 --> 00:19:15,669
that's because you don't want the questions and

515
00:19:15,669 --> 00:19:17,190
the looks and the judgment Right. Because you

516
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,450
know you fucking deserve it. Yeah.

517
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:20,490
Yep.

518
00:19:24,069 --> 00:19:26,710
And that's you know that's the line and

519
00:19:26,710 --> 00:19:28,009
I think most people

520
00:19:28,705 --> 00:19:29,765
rightly so

521
00:19:30,065 --> 00:19:32,705
warn for this because more often than not

522
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:33,924
this is the situation.

523
00:19:34,225 --> 00:19:35,605
It's somebody who is

524
00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,825
is preying on somebody younger Right. And probably

525
00:19:39,825 --> 00:19:42,960
more naive and certainly less experienced than all

526
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,380
the things. Like, I have so many questions.

527
00:19:46,079 --> 00:19:48,319
Like, I wanna know how you met because

528
00:19:48,319 --> 00:19:49,299
I have a feeling

529
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,960
therein lies everything we need to fucking know.

530
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,960
Mhmm. Because the thing about being into BDSM,

531
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,319
you don't have to tell your family. You

532
00:19:56,319 --> 00:19:57,734
don't have to tell any fucking body that

533
00:19:57,734 --> 00:19:59,414
you're in a kinky relationship. But you can

534
00:19:59,414 --> 00:20:00,974
still talk about the fact that you're in

535
00:20:00,974 --> 00:20:02,695
a relationship with the person I'm dating. This

536
00:20:02,695 --> 00:20:04,075
is the person I care about.

537
00:20:05,015 --> 00:20:07,414
Right. Yeah. The the secrecy, there's so many

538
00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,119
reasons that that person could

539
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,839
could want this to be secret, but the

540
00:20:11,839 --> 00:20:13,759
twenty year fucking age gap is a big

541
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,000
Big one. Big one. It's the obvious one.

542
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,920
Yeah. But I I don't wanna know because

543
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,440
I think it'll, like, make my heart hurt,

544
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:20,880
but I do wanna know how did you

545
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,740
fucking meet and what does your BDSM

546
00:20:23,039 --> 00:20:23,539
relationship

547
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,095
look like?

548
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:26,875
Because

549
00:20:27,654 --> 00:20:29,755
Mhmm. Just at first glance,

550
00:20:30,294 --> 00:20:32,875
the whole thing is real fucking suspicious.

551
00:20:34,054 --> 00:20:35,494
Yeah. But the secret thing, that's just a

552
00:20:35,494 --> 00:20:38,375
red flag. In chat said, it's sketchy. It's

553
00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:39,115
so sketchy.

554
00:20:39,734 --> 00:20:42,880
Right. You are like you are proving the

555
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,700
rule of why everybody's like, all age gaps

556
00:20:45,839 --> 00:20:48,079
are real fucking bad. Yeah. Yeah. Because Yeah.

557
00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,940
Because this it's this shit. It's this

558
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,179
shit right here that people do.

559
00:20:57,224 --> 00:20:59,544
Deep breath. Yeah. I know. If if my

560
00:20:59,544 --> 00:21:01,384
20 year old came to me and said,

561
00:21:01,384 --> 00:21:03,464
mom, let me introduce you to my 40

562
00:21:03,464 --> 00:21:05,544
year old partner. I'm a be like, bitch,

563
00:21:05,544 --> 00:21:06,904
you come with me to the next room.

564
00:21:06,904 --> 00:21:08,125
We're gonna have a conversation.

565
00:21:08,609 --> 00:21:09,890
And then I'm a look at my child

566
00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:12,049
and go, you sit still. Mommy will be

567
00:21:12,049 --> 00:21:13,490
with you in a moment because remember, you

568
00:21:13,490 --> 00:21:14,549
still call me mommy.

569
00:21:14,930 --> 00:21:16,289
I don't wanna know what you're calling her,

570
00:21:16,289 --> 00:21:17,829
but I got questions now.

571
00:21:18,289 --> 00:21:18,789
Yeah.

572
00:21:20,494 --> 00:21:22,255
And I say all that to say that

573
00:21:22,255 --> 00:21:24,095
a 19 year old is a legal adult

574
00:21:24,095 --> 00:21:25,394
and they can make their decisions.

575
00:21:25,695 --> 00:21:26,994
And I'm gonna, like,

576
00:21:27,375 --> 00:21:29,634
support their right to make those decisions.

577
00:21:30,975 --> 00:21:33,789
But that motherfucker sounds sketchy as shit. Sounds

578
00:21:33,789 --> 00:21:36,029
predatory as shit. So, you know, I mean,

579
00:21:36,029 --> 00:21:38,430
I I I do not see this in

580
00:21:38,430 --> 00:21:40,350
in this at all, but, you know, I

581
00:21:40,350 --> 00:21:41,490
I will say,

582
00:21:42,110 --> 00:21:44,269
and I've told you this before. Mhmm. I've

583
00:21:44,269 --> 00:21:44,769
had

584
00:21:46,190 --> 00:21:47,490
folks in their twenties

585
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,095
reach out to me

586
00:21:50,554 --> 00:21:52,474
as a person in my sixties. And they

587
00:21:52,474 --> 00:21:54,234
get mad at you when you're like And

588
00:21:54,234 --> 00:21:56,234
and they get mad when I'm like I

589
00:21:56,234 --> 00:21:58,494
have a kid your age. Don't you know.

590
00:21:58,634 --> 00:21:59,134
No.

591
00:22:00,470 --> 00:22:02,630
No. Not my thing. Yeah. And and they

592
00:22:02,630 --> 00:22:03,529
get pissed. You know?

593
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:08,390
Yeah. And, you know, that does that does

594
00:22:08,390 --> 00:22:10,309
go both ways. But they are they are

595
00:22:10,309 --> 00:22:13,049
actively seeking out Right. You know,

596
00:22:13,605 --> 00:22:15,845
a huge age gap. Right. And see For

597
00:22:15,845 --> 00:22:18,085
whatever reason. I would even go, okay. Maybe

598
00:22:18,085 --> 00:22:19,924
the maybe the thing about how they met

599
00:22:19,924 --> 00:22:22,345
is that the 19 year old sought out

600
00:22:22,644 --> 00:22:24,984
this older person. Mhmm. Cool. Cool. Cool.

601
00:22:25,285 --> 00:22:26,660
The fact that they don't want it to

602
00:22:26,660 --> 00:22:28,099
be secret Yeah. Means that they did it

603
00:22:28,099 --> 00:22:30,980
with whatever good intentions they may have. Exactly.

604
00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:32,900
And this motherfucker's hiding because they know they

605
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:35,539
need they're hiding from something and or they

606
00:22:35,539 --> 00:22:37,240
know they need to because Yeah.

607
00:22:38,099 --> 00:22:40,119
Yeah. Yeah. And you know,

608
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:41,079
I absolutely

609
00:22:41,804 --> 00:22:44,384
understand being hurt by it, feeling disappointed.

610
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,964
Yeah. Because you you're happy with your relationship

611
00:22:47,964 --> 00:22:50,044
and you want to know that when the

612
00:22:50,044 --> 00:22:52,304
time comes, they'll be by your side proudly.

613
00:22:52,524 --> 00:22:54,044
Yeah. But I really want this person to

614
00:22:54,044 --> 00:22:56,079
get angry because that's that's that's where I

615
00:22:56,079 --> 00:22:57,599
think they need to go next. I mean,

616
00:22:57,599 --> 00:22:59,299
you know, we we we met

617
00:22:59,839 --> 00:23:00,339
through

618
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:01,779
our mutual

619
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:03,619
sex and kink blogs.

620
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:04,900
Okay?

621
00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,220
But, you know, when you asked,

622
00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:09,544
you know, meet the family, I

623
00:23:09,845 --> 00:23:12,085
was like, okay. Right. And they didn't scare

624
00:23:12,085 --> 00:23:13,505
you off, and you're still here. So you

625
00:23:13,505 --> 00:23:16,484
know I'm still here. You know? But that's

626
00:23:16,484 --> 00:23:16,984
because

627
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:19,845
our relationship is a little bit more than

628
00:23:19,845 --> 00:23:20,904
our power dynamic.

629
00:23:22,644 --> 00:23:23,144
Mhmm.

630
00:23:26,009 --> 00:23:28,190
Mhmm. Okay. So there's that one.

631
00:23:28,970 --> 00:23:29,869
Next one.

632
00:23:30,569 --> 00:23:32,890
They want an answer from a Dom. That's

633
00:23:32,890 --> 00:23:34,569
what it says. Dom, please answer. But you

634
00:23:34,569 --> 00:23:36,349
know, I'll have thoughts. So here we go.

635
00:23:36,650 --> 00:23:38,684
I'm in a committed relationship with my Dom.

636
00:23:38,765 --> 00:23:40,765
We are not in an open relationship or

637
00:23:40,765 --> 00:23:43,585
polyamorous. We've been living together for three years.

638
00:23:43,644 --> 00:23:46,525
Been collared for one year. My question is,

639
00:23:46,525 --> 00:23:48,924
in this scenario, do you as a dom

640
00:23:48,924 --> 00:23:51,345
let your relationship status be known?

641
00:23:51,725 --> 00:23:52,225
Example.

642
00:23:52,765 --> 00:23:55,109
One. When past partners are trying to get

643
00:23:55,109 --> 00:23:57,509
in contact with you again, do you disclose

644
00:23:57,509 --> 00:23:58,809
your relationship status?

645
00:23:59,269 --> 00:24:00,890
Two, when you are repeatedly

646
00:24:01,269 --> 00:24:03,450
contacted by the same person who repeatedly

647
00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:06,549
asks for your time. My Dom says no.

648
00:24:06,549 --> 00:24:09,044
It's none of their business. He's in a

649
00:24:09,044 --> 00:24:11,444
relationship, so he does not tell anyone he

650
00:24:11,444 --> 00:24:12,424
is in a relationship.

651
00:24:13,125 --> 00:24:15,044
Do I get the do I just get

652
00:24:15,044 --> 00:24:17,524
the quote he's keeping his options open type

653
00:24:17,524 --> 00:24:19,464
feeling because I'm new to this lifestyle?

654
00:24:20,005 --> 00:24:22,289
Is this normal etiquette? This is second or

655
00:24:22,289 --> 00:24:23,809
third person I need y'all to start listening

656
00:24:23,809 --> 00:24:25,669
to your intuition. Right. Right.

657
00:24:25,970 --> 00:24:28,210
Right. Because you're getting the he's keeping his

658
00:24:28,210 --> 00:24:29,190
options open

659
00:24:29,889 --> 00:24:32,289
vibe for a fucking reason. Oh, yeah. But

660
00:24:32,289 --> 00:24:35,009
go ahead, Dom. Please answer. Yeah. No. He's

661
00:24:35,009 --> 00:24:37,984
he's he's playing the field. Oh, yeah. Okay?

662
00:24:39,005 --> 00:24:39,805
You know, he's like

663
00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:42,605
It's nobody's business if I'm in a relationship,

664
00:24:42,605 --> 00:24:43,964
so I just won't say I'm in a

665
00:24:43,964 --> 00:24:47,005
relationship? You know, bullshit. How has lightning not

666
00:24:47,005 --> 00:24:49,724
struck your dumbass? Because Mhmm. Liar liar pants

667
00:24:49,724 --> 00:24:50,785
on fucking fire.

668
00:24:51,644 --> 00:24:52,109
Yeah.

669
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:53,890
You know.

670
00:24:56,429 --> 00:24:57,569
You know what? In

671
00:24:57,950 --> 00:24:59,630
in in a way you can say, yeah,

672
00:24:59,630 --> 00:25:01,390
it really is nobody's business. You know, you

673
00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:02,849
can just tell There's no details.

674
00:25:03,950 --> 00:25:04,929
Yeah. I mean,

675
00:25:06,065 --> 00:25:08,144
you just tell the other person look I'm

676
00:25:08,144 --> 00:25:10,625
not interested go away. Or I'm with someone

677
00:25:10,625 --> 00:25:12,804
and that's all you gotta fucking say. Exactly.

678
00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:14,944
But the it's nobody's business so I don't

679
00:25:14,944 --> 00:25:16,644
have to cop to being in a relationship.

680
00:25:16,865 --> 00:25:18,944
That that is that is Kiss my fucking

681
00:25:18,944 --> 00:25:19,444
ass.

682
00:25:20,230 --> 00:25:22,789
All this freaking shadiness going on. All this

683
00:25:22,789 --> 00:25:23,289
secrecy.

684
00:25:23,589 --> 00:25:24,569
Yeah. Yeah.

685
00:25:24,869 --> 00:25:26,649
Here's the thing. I can understand

686
00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:30,309
people in a relationship mutually deciding we're gonna

687
00:25:30,309 --> 00:25:32,950
keep this quiet for reasons. Sometimes for drama

688
00:25:32,950 --> 00:25:34,789
reasons and you're trying to avoid said drama

689
00:25:34,789 --> 00:25:36,625
and you know it's gonna put like, a

690
00:25:36,625 --> 00:25:38,085
mutual decision like that,

691
00:25:38,785 --> 00:25:40,305
me personally, I might not love it, but

692
00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:41,744
I can see it. I can, you know,

693
00:25:41,744 --> 00:25:43,424
I can understand why people might make that

694
00:25:43,424 --> 00:25:46,464
decision. Mhmm. But at any point, when you

695
00:25:46,464 --> 00:25:48,625
are in a relationship with someone and one

696
00:25:48,625 --> 00:25:49,285
of you

697
00:25:49,769 --> 00:25:51,930
will not refuse as asks you not to

698
00:25:51,930 --> 00:25:54,830
claim them publicly in even the most mild

699
00:25:55,049 --> 00:25:56,190
mannered way,

700
00:25:56,970 --> 00:25:59,130
that's a red flag. Mhmm. What what are

701
00:25:59,130 --> 00:26:01,289
they hiding from? Is it another family they

702
00:26:01,289 --> 00:26:03,115
don't want you to know? Are they playing

703
00:26:03,115 --> 00:26:04,954
the field and keeping their options open for

704
00:26:04,954 --> 00:26:06,015
whatever comes along?

705
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:07,755
Are they just have they been cheating on

706
00:26:07,755 --> 00:26:08,954
you the whole time and you are one

707
00:26:08,954 --> 00:26:10,414
of many? Who knows?

708
00:26:11,035 --> 00:26:13,454
But it's a sign of something. Yeah.

709
00:26:13,909 --> 00:26:15,429
It is absolutely a sign of something. Like

710
00:26:15,429 --> 00:26:17,909
like Ross said in chat, and I agree

711
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:19,369
a 100% as a dom,

712
00:26:20,950 --> 00:26:22,890
wouldn't you want to show off your sub?

713
00:26:24,230 --> 00:26:26,230
I know I would. My question, knowing what

714
00:26:26,230 --> 00:26:27,957
I, you know, having experience I now now

715
00:26:27,957 --> 00:26:29,815
have You did. Yeah. I know. If I

716
00:26:29,815 --> 00:26:31,654
have a dom who doesn't want to admit

717
00:26:31,654 --> 00:26:33,335
that they are, at minimum, just in a

718
00:26:33,335 --> 00:26:35,335
relationship with me, that's the thing I'm gonna

719
00:26:35,335 --> 00:26:37,255
ask is, are you ashamed of me? Are

720
00:26:37,255 --> 00:26:38,554
you ashamed of this relationship?

721
00:26:39,015 --> 00:26:40,440
Yeah. I'm a bitch, so I'm gonna go,

722
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,135
what the fuck are you hiding? And who

723
00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:45,831
are you hiding now? But also, with somebody

724
00:26:45,831 --> 00:26:48,526
like that, I never work out in that

725
00:26:48,526 --> 00:26:51,222
fucking floor. Trust issues too damn deep. But,

726
00:26:51,222 --> 00:26:54,255
yeah. I just this person knows. They just

727
00:26:54,414 --> 00:26:56,494
don't they're not trusting themselves, and I have

728
00:26:56,494 --> 00:26:58,575
a feeling they're in that. Well, I'm submissive.

729
00:26:58,575 --> 00:27:00,815
They're the dom. So maybe there's this thing

730
00:27:00,815 --> 00:27:02,515
that I just don't know when I'm supposed

731
00:27:03,214 --> 00:27:06,015
to submissively allow this. And Mhmm. Their intuition

732
00:27:06,015 --> 00:27:08,115
told them everything they need to know. Yeah.

733
00:27:08,575 --> 00:27:09,075
Mm-mm.

734
00:27:09,615 --> 00:27:10,910
Now Yeah.

735
00:27:11,450 --> 00:27:13,930
There's it's something shady for some reason. Oh,

736
00:27:13,930 --> 00:27:15,710
yeah. And then I have

737
00:27:16,410 --> 00:27:17,869
the second example, somebody

738
00:27:18,490 --> 00:27:18,990
repeatedly

739
00:27:19,529 --> 00:27:21,130
contacts you and you're still not telling me

740
00:27:21,130 --> 00:27:23,130
you're in a relationship, but you're not doing

741
00:27:23,130 --> 00:27:24,835
anything to make it so that to make

742
00:27:24,835 --> 00:27:26,355
it clear to them or to just block

743
00:27:26,355 --> 00:27:28,934
them or whatever so that they cannot repeatedly

744
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:30,375
contact you?

745
00:27:30,674 --> 00:27:31,575
What the fuck?

746
00:27:32,115 --> 00:27:33,174
You know, I

747
00:27:33,475 --> 00:27:34,134
I would

748
00:27:36,595 --> 00:27:37,815
as the other person

749
00:27:38,529 --> 00:27:40,309
in this, you know, the the

750
00:27:43,250 --> 00:27:45,910
at that point, if this person is repeatedly

751
00:27:46,609 --> 00:27:48,769
contacting, I'd I'd start to get a little

752
00:27:48,769 --> 00:27:51,829
curious about what's being conversed. I'd be contacting

753
00:27:51,890 --> 00:27:54,305
that person going Yeah. Something something we need

754
00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:55,525
to talk about? Mhmm.

755
00:27:57,744 --> 00:28:00,785
I just these shady motherfuckers. I know. Right?

756
00:28:00,785 --> 00:28:01,684
Damn. Yeah.

757
00:28:03,345 --> 00:28:05,985
This person just listen listen to your intuition.

758
00:28:05,985 --> 00:28:07,569
It's It's screaming at you at this point.

759
00:28:07,569 --> 00:28:09,730
You know what you're seeing. Mhmm. And it's

760
00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:12,069
no different just because it's power exchange versus

761
00:28:12,450 --> 00:28:14,769
non kink. It's really not. Take off the

762
00:28:14,769 --> 00:28:17,009
blinders. You know, and I We come across

763
00:28:17,009 --> 00:28:19,394
this a lot. Certainly, Reddit sees this a

764
00:28:19,394 --> 00:28:20,275
lot Mhmm.

765
00:28:20,674 --> 00:28:22,775
Of, oh, power exchange is so

766
00:28:23,075 --> 00:28:26,515
so fundamentally different from every relationship style I've

767
00:28:26,515 --> 00:28:27,734
ever known that

768
00:28:28,434 --> 00:28:28,934
maybe

769
00:28:29,475 --> 00:28:31,559
I am supposed to just be treated like

770
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,559
shit and that's what it's like. And I'm

771
00:28:33,559 --> 00:28:35,259
just like, shit. No.

772
00:28:35,799 --> 00:28:37,720
You're both supposed to be enjoying this. You're

773
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,960
supposed to both be getting something from this.

774
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:41,320
And you're both supposed to be able to

775
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,480
trust each other. So if you don't have

776
00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:43,980
that,

777
00:28:46,265 --> 00:28:48,424
this isn't just because of power exchange. This

778
00:28:48,424 --> 00:28:49,884
is bullshit behavior.

779
00:28:50,345 --> 00:28:52,924
It's red flags. Yep. It's irresponsibility.

780
00:28:53,464 --> 00:28:54,525
It's Yep. Like,

781
00:28:55,464 --> 00:28:57,625
completely unsafe and the worst. But, like, it's

782
00:28:57,625 --> 00:28:59,464
all the things. It's all the things. And

783
00:28:59,464 --> 00:29:00,180
none of them are

784
00:29:01,059 --> 00:29:02,680
good. I am very hot and sweaty.

785
00:29:03,779 --> 00:29:05,400
We're kinda flying through these.

786
00:29:06,019 --> 00:29:07,080
And I picked several.

787
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:10,200
Okay.

788
00:29:10,820 --> 00:29:11,640
Here we go.

789
00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:15,884
Title, I accidentally hurt my Dom. Advice please.

790
00:29:20,024 --> 00:29:20,524
Okay.

791
00:29:21,224 --> 00:29:23,944
I journal slash write reports to my Dom

792
00:29:23,944 --> 00:29:25,704
every day and have been doing that for

793
00:29:25,704 --> 00:29:28,130
months. It had been unclear to me why

794
00:29:28,130 --> 00:29:30,609
he assigned me this task. He just told

795
00:29:30,609 --> 00:29:32,869
me he wants to monitor my status.

796
00:29:33,329 --> 00:29:35,009
So I've been trying to guess what he

797
00:29:35,009 --> 00:29:37,009
wants, writing what goes on, how I'm holding

798
00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:39,190
up with my tasks, and all good things

799
00:29:39,250 --> 00:29:40,904
I notice that he does for me, like

800
00:29:40,904 --> 00:29:42,744
helping me prioritize and make sure I get

801
00:29:42,744 --> 00:29:43,484
enough rest.

802
00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:45,625
I asked him again a couple of weeks

803
00:29:45,625 --> 00:29:47,464
ago when I felt unsure about what to

804
00:29:47,464 --> 00:29:49,304
write, and he told me I should write

805
00:29:49,304 --> 00:29:51,005
things I want him to know.

806
00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:53,304
The other day, I wrote about how he

807
00:29:53,304 --> 00:29:54,920
lashed out at me during the day and

808
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:56,539
then it made me sad and demotivated.

809
00:29:57,079 --> 00:29:59,559
And he got really mad at me. Told

810
00:29:59,559 --> 00:30:02,119
me that my reports should not contain any

811
00:30:02,119 --> 00:30:02,619
complaints.

812
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,519
Issues are to be brought to him in

813
00:30:04,519 --> 00:30:05,019
person.

814
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,480
I usually do that, but that particular day,

815
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:08,875
I had no chance to bring it up

816
00:30:08,875 --> 00:30:10,815
because of having kids around all day.

817
00:30:11,115 --> 00:30:12,954
Now he doesn't want my reports, and he

818
00:30:12,954 --> 00:30:14,654
stopped following up on my tasks.

819
00:30:15,115 --> 00:30:17,755
I feel bad and lost any advice. I

820
00:30:17,755 --> 00:30:19,914
have apologized several times and explained that I

821
00:30:19,914 --> 00:30:21,694
didn't realize this was inappropriate

822
00:30:22,390 --> 00:30:23,210
for the report.

823
00:30:24,630 --> 00:30:26,230
So I gotta go grind to my back

824
00:30:26,230 --> 00:30:27,690
molar right now? Fucking

825
00:30:27,990 --> 00:30:30,710
hell. You know, one kinda sounds he this

826
00:30:30,710 --> 00:30:33,049
person was making it up as he goes,

827
00:30:33,669 --> 00:30:34,250
you know,

828
00:30:34,674 --> 00:30:36,355
And when his ego was getting stroked, he

829
00:30:36,355 --> 00:30:38,434
was like, yeah. I like this. Yeah. Yeah.

830
00:30:38,434 --> 00:30:38,934
Yeah.

831
00:30:39,634 --> 00:30:42,195
So, you know, and, yeah. Then then when

832
00:30:42,195 --> 00:30:42,695
things

833
00:30:43,154 --> 00:30:43,894
you know what?

834
00:30:45,875 --> 00:30:48,115
You you you need to take you you

835
00:30:48,115 --> 00:30:49,654
need to be able to take the criticism.

836
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:51,700
Yeah. Absolutely.

837
00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:53,460
You know, because

838
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:57,519
I know I'm not right a 100% of

839
00:30:57,519 --> 00:30:58,500
the time. Right.

840
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,600
And also, you recognize because you're mature and

841
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,305
people who are mature will event if you

842
00:31:03,305 --> 00:31:05,085
don't know it now, you'll know it eventually.

843
00:31:05,305 --> 00:31:07,305
Sometimes it's easier to write the thing down

844
00:31:07,305 --> 00:31:09,884
than it is to say the thing. Yeah.

845
00:31:10,184 --> 00:31:12,424
And that way, if feelings have been expressed,

846
00:31:12,424 --> 00:31:13,865
everybody's on the same page and then you

847
00:31:13,865 --> 00:31:15,650
can deal with it or we can be

848
00:31:15,650 --> 00:31:18,130
a big crybaby and get our feelings hurt

849
00:31:18,130 --> 00:31:18,630
because

850
00:31:19,329 --> 00:31:21,089
Well, you know, yeah. And that that's the

851
00:31:21,089 --> 00:31:23,890
thing and and what what really what popped

852
00:31:23,890 --> 00:31:25,650
out of me was the fact that he,

853
00:31:25,650 --> 00:31:27,109
how did you put it, really

854
00:31:27,970 --> 00:31:31,265
in caps mad at at this person. Mhmm.

855
00:31:31,265 --> 00:31:32,164
You know what?

856
00:31:33,984 --> 00:31:34,545
Sorry that,

857
00:31:35,505 --> 00:31:37,265
Kind of sounds like somebody else. No. You

858
00:31:37,265 --> 00:31:39,424
know, a little bit of classic narcissism going

859
00:31:39,424 --> 00:31:40,804
on there, okay? Something.

860
00:31:41,105 --> 00:31:41,684
Yeah. Something.

861
00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:43,025
You know. But,

862
00:31:43,664 --> 00:31:46,240
Yeah. To to get angry about that. That

863
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:47,299
that, you know,

864
00:31:51,279 --> 00:31:54,000
you you can get upset. Sure. You cannot

865
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,619
like something. That's valid.

866
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,085
But you know what? That that just give

867
00:31:59,325 --> 00:32:01,404
that that should be an opportunity to sit

868
00:32:01,404 --> 00:32:03,484
down and have a talk. Right. And, you

869
00:32:03,484 --> 00:32:03,984
know,

870
00:32:04,285 --> 00:32:07,424
outside looking in, the maturity level, the responsibility

871
00:32:07,565 --> 00:32:09,565
level, the safety level of that Dom is

872
00:32:09,565 --> 00:32:10,785
completely in question.

873
00:32:11,164 --> 00:32:14,544
If they get all caps really mad at

874
00:32:15,140 --> 00:32:17,299
being told that their sub was a little

875
00:32:17,299 --> 00:32:19,079
was a little upset by something.

876
00:32:19,539 --> 00:32:20,919
Like, what the fuck?

877
00:32:22,099 --> 00:32:22,599
So

878
00:32:23,460 --> 00:32:24,980
I had forgotten what this was until I

879
00:32:24,980 --> 00:32:26,839
started reading it. And for me,

880
00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:27,880
the

881
00:32:28,419 --> 00:32:29,673
flashing red sign of there are problems here,

882
00:32:29,673 --> 00:32:29,940
which was at the very beginning of it

883
00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:30,494
had been

884
00:32:36,907 --> 00:32:37,407
it's

885
00:32:43,799 --> 00:32:45,880
it's not a universal experience, whatever JB says.

886
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,980
Mhmm. But from outside observation,

887
00:32:49,159 --> 00:32:50,859
I've never really talked to

888
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,299
a Dom who

889
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:54,919
assigned a task or said, you know, this

890
00:32:54,919 --> 00:32:55,799
is what I want you to do as

891
00:32:55,799 --> 00:32:57,634
my that did not have, at least on

892
00:32:57,634 --> 00:33:00,315
a basic level, some reasoning behind it. Yeah.

893
00:33:00,315 --> 00:33:02,075
Even if it's I get off on it

894
00:33:02,075 --> 00:33:03,855
and this is fun for me. Mhmm. Like,

895
00:33:03,994 --> 00:33:04,554
is that

896
00:33:04,954 --> 00:33:06,734
Yeah. Is that pretty much it?

897
00:33:07,115 --> 00:33:07,615
Yeah.

898
00:33:07,994 --> 00:33:10,075
I I mean, because even, you know, in

899
00:33:10,075 --> 00:33:12,210
our in the beginning, we had,

900
00:33:12,609 --> 00:33:14,289
you know, we got to know each other

901
00:33:14,289 --> 00:33:16,690
because we had respective blogs that we were

902
00:33:16,690 --> 00:33:18,869
writing and following. Mhmm. Okay.

903
00:33:19,329 --> 00:33:20,710
But at the same time,

904
00:33:21,490 --> 00:33:23,490
I asked you to journal some things in

905
00:33:23,490 --> 00:33:25,349
in Google Docs that I could see

906
00:33:25,845 --> 00:33:27,365
To get to know you, to get to

907
00:33:27,365 --> 00:33:29,044
understand you, to get to know who you

908
00:33:29,044 --> 00:33:30,644
are, the things you like, and what, you

909
00:33:30,644 --> 00:33:33,285
know. Mhmm. So, yeah, there was a purpose

910
00:33:33,285 --> 00:33:35,605
behind it. But any task you've ever given

911
00:33:35,605 --> 00:33:37,765
me, there's a purpose behind it. Yeah. I

912
00:33:37,765 --> 00:33:39,839
mean, I It's not just oh, I think,

913
00:33:39,839 --> 00:33:41,679
let's see. Oh, go dig a ditch today

914
00:33:41,679 --> 00:33:42,880
just because I want you to dig a

915
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,559
ditch. I read a BuzzFeed article that said

916
00:33:44,559 --> 00:33:46,880
this is what subs do. So here's your

917
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:47,380
task.

918
00:33:48,159 --> 00:33:50,000
I mean, quite frankly, if you did and

919
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,079
that's the reasoning you gave yourself, at least

920
00:33:52,079 --> 00:33:53,204
that's fucking honest.

921
00:33:54,164 --> 00:33:56,964
But either, yeah, this person heard that's what

922
00:33:56,964 --> 00:33:58,724
some subs do and went, okay. You'll do

923
00:33:58,724 --> 00:34:01,224
it. Mhmm. Or who knows what? But

924
00:34:02,244 --> 00:34:05,544
best practices, air quote that, empower exchange,

925
00:34:05,845 --> 00:34:07,924
doms. If you were assigning a task to

926
00:34:07,924 --> 00:34:08,664
your sub,

927
00:34:09,150 --> 00:34:11,150
and it makes sense to do because I

928
00:34:11,150 --> 00:34:13,230
I know that sometimes there's those power dynamics

929
00:34:13,230 --> 00:34:14,670
of the you're assigning it because they're gonna

930
00:34:14,670 --> 00:34:16,849
do what they're told. That's the fucking reason

931
00:34:17,069 --> 00:34:19,089
because I want you to. But

932
00:34:19,469 --> 00:34:21,869
when we're talking about like this, like, you

933
00:34:21,869 --> 00:34:23,089
should be able to

934
00:34:23,789 --> 00:34:24,289
explain

935
00:34:25,045 --> 00:34:27,144
some level of why you want it done

936
00:34:27,204 --> 00:34:29,204
or how you certainly how you want it

937
00:34:29,204 --> 00:34:30,184
done. Another example

938
00:34:30,565 --> 00:34:31,545
for for us,

939
00:34:32,644 --> 00:34:33,224
you know,

940
00:34:34,485 --> 00:34:36,164
I had a little bit more experience in

941
00:34:36,164 --> 00:34:38,105
the lifestyle than you did at that time.

942
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:39,359
And I gave You had ten plus years

943
00:34:39,359 --> 00:34:40,480
on me at that point. And I I

944
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:41,380
gave you

945
00:34:42,559 --> 00:34:43,059
assignments,

946
00:34:43,359 --> 00:34:45,699
so to speak, to research different

947
00:34:47,359 --> 00:34:49,679
kinks, different Right. You know, things. But I

948
00:34:49,679 --> 00:34:50,880
knew why you were giving me Right. Those

949
00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:52,594
assignments. You we talked about it. It was

950
00:34:52,594 --> 00:34:54,514
part of the communication process. Mhmm. And this

951
00:34:54,514 --> 00:34:55,974
person could have said, hey,

952
00:34:56,514 --> 00:34:57,014
anything

953
00:34:57,315 --> 00:35:00,594
that's like negative or where you're upset or

954
00:35:00,594 --> 00:35:02,355
it's an issue we need to work out,

955
00:35:02,355 --> 00:35:03,795
I want you to bring that to me

956
00:35:03,795 --> 00:35:04,295
separately.

957
00:35:04,619 --> 00:35:06,400
You know, that's gonna be a separate conversation.

958
00:35:06,619 --> 00:35:08,699
That should not have stopped this person from

959
00:35:08,699 --> 00:35:10,059
being able to write it in their fucking

960
00:35:10,059 --> 00:35:11,980
journal. Is it a journal or is it

961
00:35:11,980 --> 00:35:14,539
not? Yeah. But I could see setting the,

962
00:35:14,539 --> 00:35:16,940
hey, we're not gonna we're not gonna sort

963
00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:17,440
out

964
00:35:17,900 --> 00:35:18,400
issues

965
00:35:18,940 --> 00:35:20,319
just in this writing way.

966
00:35:20,675 --> 00:35:21,875
Write it down if you need to, but

967
00:35:21,875 --> 00:35:23,574
we're going to have this conversation

968
00:35:24,034 --> 00:35:26,114
together. Let's let's work it out that way.

969
00:35:26,114 --> 00:35:28,114
Yeah. But that doesn't seem to have even

970
00:35:28,114 --> 00:35:28,614
been

971
00:35:29,474 --> 00:35:31,554
said until it happened and he got his

972
00:35:31,554 --> 00:35:33,094
little feelings hurt. Right.

973
00:35:34,355 --> 00:35:35,175
And also,

974
00:35:35,715 --> 00:35:38,380
she this I shouldn't say she. This person

975
00:35:39,559 --> 00:35:41,559
asked, what do you want from this? Mhmm.

976
00:35:41,559 --> 00:35:43,099
And their response was,

977
00:35:44,039 --> 00:35:46,280
I should write things I want him to

978
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:48,840
know. Well, guess what? Yeah. That's a lot

979
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,300
of fucking shit. Mhmm.

980
00:35:50,735 --> 00:35:52,494
Sorry you didn't like We didn't. What they

981
00:35:52,494 --> 00:35:54,414
needed you to know. Apparently didn't say only

982
00:35:54,414 --> 00:35:55,315
the good shit.

983
00:35:57,775 --> 00:36:00,994
Fragile ego. Yeah. Can't fucking handle it. Yeah.

984
00:36:05,579 --> 00:36:06,079
Yeah.

985
00:36:08,380 --> 00:36:11,019
I I could Yeah. They they they did

986
00:36:11,019 --> 00:36:13,900
not hurt their dom. No. They did not.

987
00:36:13,900 --> 00:36:15,579
And quite frankly, the dom needs to be

988
00:36:15,579 --> 00:36:16,480
asking for

989
00:36:17,260 --> 00:36:17,760
apologizing

990
00:36:18,140 --> 00:36:19,920
to their sub for the overreaction

991
00:36:20,534 --> 00:36:22,534
Right. And for the not handling it well.

992
00:36:22,534 --> 00:36:24,214
Right. And the here's how we move through

993
00:36:24,214 --> 00:36:26,534
this so it can be better. Because there

994
00:36:26,534 --> 00:36:28,214
there's a there's a lot of,

995
00:36:28,775 --> 00:36:29,275
trust

996
00:36:29,574 --> 00:36:30,934
and, you know And here's the thing. The

997
00:36:30,934 --> 00:36:32,775
effect that that went down the drain with

998
00:36:32,775 --> 00:36:34,694
that. And the thing with journaling, I think

999
00:36:34,694 --> 00:36:36,480
it's, you know, if it works for the

1000
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,179
people involved, do it. Great.

1001
00:36:38,559 --> 00:36:39,460
But I think

1002
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:42,320
whoever's gonna be reading that entry and it's

1003
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,160
usually the dom. Right? It's usually subs who

1004
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,320
journal, doms who read it. You gotta be

1005
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,280
fucking prepared for whatever their raw feelings are.

1006
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:48,179
Whatever their

1007
00:36:55,554 --> 00:36:57,815
not always rainbows and unicorns. No.

1008
00:36:58,195 --> 00:37:00,195
I mean, we've had early days of our

1009
00:37:00,195 --> 00:37:02,515
relationship. It wasn't journaling. It was like emails

1010
00:37:02,515 --> 00:37:04,420
but I write them in that way

1011
00:37:05,119 --> 00:37:07,759
of the hard stuff that I wasn't able

1012
00:37:07,759 --> 00:37:10,079
to verbalize. Mhmm. It got put down in

1013
00:37:10,079 --> 00:37:12,159
writing, and he had to read it. You

1014
00:37:12,159 --> 00:37:14,239
you still do that. Yeah. I don't do

1015
00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,255
it for interpersonal stuff between you and I.

1016
00:37:16,255 --> 00:37:18,255
I've gotten much better at going, you just

1017
00:37:18,255 --> 00:37:19,775
pissed me off and let me tell you

1018
00:37:19,775 --> 00:37:20,275
why.

1019
00:37:20,735 --> 00:37:22,494
You have. I'm very good at that. I'm

1020
00:37:22,494 --> 00:37:24,114
proud of you for that. I know.

1021
00:37:25,215 --> 00:37:27,775
But, yeah. I no. The they did not

1022
00:37:27,775 --> 00:37:29,880
hurt their dom. Their dom is No. Pulling

1023
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:32,119
a guilt trip on them because they didn't

1024
00:37:32,119 --> 00:37:34,599
like whatever it was and it gave them

1025
00:37:34,599 --> 00:37:36,920
feelings and they didn't wanna deal with those

1026
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:37,420
feelings.

1027
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:39,400
But the mistakes were made at the very

1028
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,259
beginning. It should have been very, very clear.

1029
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:42,855
This is what this is

1030
00:37:43,494 --> 00:37:45,494
for. I still don't think it's good practice

1031
00:37:45,494 --> 00:37:47,655
to say you can't put anything negative in

1032
00:37:47,655 --> 00:37:49,894
this because that's I think that we're stroking

1033
00:37:49,894 --> 00:37:52,054
the egos at that fucking point. But I

1034
00:37:52,054 --> 00:37:54,135
think you can have the write what you

1035
00:37:54,135 --> 00:37:55,815
need to write, but we will talk about

1036
00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:57,659
these things and we will work through

1037
00:37:58,139 --> 00:37:59,679
the problem stuff,

1038
00:38:00,219 --> 00:38:00,880
you know,

1039
00:38:01,339 --> 00:38:03,739
not in this venue, but, you know, mention

1040
00:38:03,739 --> 00:38:05,099
it if you need to or whatever. I

1041
00:38:05,099 --> 00:38:06,159
can also see

1042
00:38:07,579 --> 00:38:09,500
I might not agree, but I can see

1043
00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:10,559
a world in which

1044
00:38:11,179 --> 00:38:12,639
how something is written,

1045
00:38:13,535 --> 00:38:15,855
not what is the topic is, but like

1046
00:38:15,855 --> 00:38:17,875
how the sub expresses themselves

1047
00:38:18,815 --> 00:38:19,635
could be

1048
00:38:20,015 --> 00:38:21,614
a problem for Adam. It could be set

1049
00:38:21,614 --> 00:38:24,035
in a way that maybe is feels disrespectful

1050
00:38:24,175 --> 00:38:26,390
or whatever whatever. I could see that world

1051
00:38:26,390 --> 00:38:28,989
but I go back to journals are very

1052
00:38:28,989 --> 00:38:31,089
personal. You are asking for somebody to like

1053
00:38:31,469 --> 00:38:32,130
put their

1054
00:38:32,829 --> 00:38:34,609
feelings and thoughts into words

1055
00:38:35,150 --> 00:38:37,150
where they're just writing and yeah, you're gonna

1056
00:38:37,150 --> 00:38:38,214
get to see it but it's because you're

1057
00:38:38,214 --> 00:38:40,534
getting a peek into their inner world. Right.

1058
00:38:40,534 --> 00:38:42,375
And you're not always gonna like how they

1059
00:38:42,375 --> 00:38:44,295
say something or what they do. No. And

1060
00:38:44,295 --> 00:38:45,835
in in my opinion,

1061
00:38:46,454 --> 00:38:47,835
most journaling things,

1062
00:38:48,214 --> 00:38:50,855
there should be no discipline around what is

1063
00:38:50,855 --> 00:38:52,869
written and how it's written. Unless we're talking

1064
00:38:52,869 --> 00:38:54,949
about the person just spent the whole time

1065
00:38:54,949 --> 00:38:56,710
going, you're a motherfucking asshole and I hate

1066
00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:59,369
you, 20 lines of it and that's it.

1067
00:38:59,750 --> 00:39:01,690
I mean, that's a deeper conversation.

1068
00:39:01,989 --> 00:39:02,969
But if they're just,

1069
00:39:03,269 --> 00:39:05,110
you know, saying they're mad at you or

1070
00:39:05,110 --> 00:39:05,314
they didn't like this thing or they felt

1071
00:39:05,314 --> 00:39:05,492
uncomfortable or whatever, no. I don't there's there

1072
00:39:05,492 --> 00:39:06,010
should be

1073
00:39:06,949 --> 00:39:07,304
no

1074
00:39:14,505 --> 00:39:15,565
general. Yeah.

1075
00:39:16,264 --> 00:39:16,764
Just

1076
00:39:17,625 --> 00:39:18,684
Dom's, you gotta emotionally

1077
00:39:19,065 --> 00:39:21,704
regulate yourself, and that's a hard thing to

1078
00:39:21,704 --> 00:39:22,204
do.

1079
00:39:22,780 --> 00:39:24,220
But yeah. It could be for some people.

1080
00:39:24,220 --> 00:39:24,720
Yes.

1081
00:39:25,579 --> 00:39:27,420
Look. We all have to fucking gentle parent

1082
00:39:27,420 --> 00:39:27,920
ourselves,

1083
00:39:28,780 --> 00:39:29,280
apparently.

1084
00:39:31,260 --> 00:39:33,260
It is if you've never done it, it's

1085
00:39:33,260 --> 00:39:34,000
very difficult.

1086
00:39:34,380 --> 00:39:36,460
Okay. We have one more, and it is

1087
00:39:36,460 --> 00:39:39,464
long as fucking shit. Okay? I hope Saved

1088
00:39:39,464 --> 00:39:41,144
the best for last. I hope these old

1089
00:39:41,144 --> 00:39:43,065
ass eyes can keep up with it. Oh,

1090
00:39:43,065 --> 00:39:44,764
dear. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

1091
00:39:45,144 --> 00:39:46,844
Well and and it's heartbreaking,

1092
00:39:48,105 --> 00:39:49,484
but it's long. Okay.

1093
00:39:50,105 --> 00:39:50,605
Title.

1094
00:39:51,144 --> 00:39:53,200
Why can't I leave my dom even though

1095
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:54,980
I feel starved and hurt?

1096
00:39:55,599 --> 00:39:57,840
Hi, everyone. I've been in a DS relationship

1097
00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,200
for a few months now. I'm a new

1098
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:00,960
sub, and he's my dom. When I met

1099
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,720
my dom, I thought I finally found what

1100
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:03,460
I was missing.

1101
00:40:03,795 --> 00:40:05,635
We spent some days together in person and

1102
00:40:05,635 --> 00:40:08,194
it was amazing. I felt safe, loved, cared

1103
00:40:08,194 --> 00:40:10,514
for. On the couch, just hugging and talking,

1104
00:40:10,514 --> 00:40:13,155
or during our most intense BDSM moments, I

1105
00:40:13,155 --> 00:40:14,614
could finally let go.

1106
00:40:14,914 --> 00:40:16,914
Subspace with him felt like home, like I

1107
00:40:16,914 --> 00:40:18,960
didn't have to worry about anything. I trusted

1108
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:20,980
him more than I ever trusted anyone.

1109
00:40:21,519 --> 00:40:23,440
But since I left, things have been completely

1110
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,519
different. We're long distance and it feels like

1111
00:40:25,519 --> 00:40:28,340
everything is on pause, and they actually are.

1112
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,440
No tasks, no sessions, no nothing except late

1113
00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,795
night calls for an hour or two. Life

1114
00:40:33,795 --> 00:40:35,315
got busy for both of us, but I

1115
00:40:35,315 --> 00:40:37,394
kept being here waiting for him to enable

1116
00:40:37,394 --> 00:40:38,614
our dynamic again.

1117
00:40:38,994 --> 00:40:40,675
For over a month now, we haven't really

1118
00:40:40,675 --> 00:40:42,675
had a good moment. We said we'll revisit

1119
00:40:42,675 --> 00:40:45,315
our expectations, limits, and boundaries soon. But in

1120
00:40:45,315 --> 00:40:47,680
the meantime, it feels like I'm stuck waiting,

1121
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,180
starving, and wondering what's even left between us.

1122
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,079
He says verbal affection isn't his way, so

1123
00:40:54,079 --> 00:40:56,480
in texts, I get almost nothing. He checks

1124
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:58,079
in once or twice a day, but never

1125
00:40:58,079 --> 00:41:00,000
really asks if I'm free or tells me

1126
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,994
when he'll be around. I'm the one who

1127
00:41:01,994 --> 00:41:03,674
has to ask, and I feel he doesn't

1128
00:41:03,674 --> 00:41:06,154
appreciate my time. We don't know when or

1129
00:41:06,154 --> 00:41:07,674
if we'll see each other again, and I

1130
00:41:07,674 --> 00:41:09,835
can't survive on only the memory of those

1131
00:41:09,835 --> 00:41:11,454
two days to have what I need.

1132
00:41:11,755 --> 00:41:13,434
When I ask for affection, he says I

1133
00:41:13,434 --> 00:41:16,315
come across needy or bratty and I that

1134
00:41:16,315 --> 00:41:18,019
I push him when I ask for it

1135
00:41:18,019 --> 00:41:19,619
and that I can't take no for an

1136
00:41:19,619 --> 00:41:21,960
answer and that it is really bad behavior

1137
00:41:22,099 --> 00:41:24,099
that I ask him for affection. But I

1138
00:41:24,099 --> 00:41:25,859
don't push him. I ask for a good

1139
00:41:25,859 --> 00:41:28,099
word or something sweet in a gentle way

1140
00:41:28,099 --> 00:41:29,715
because this was in our agreement.

1141
00:41:30,195 --> 00:41:31,635
But for more than a month now, he

1142
00:41:31,635 --> 00:41:32,835
doesn't want to give it to me and

1143
00:41:32,835 --> 00:41:34,775
he gets mad when I ask for affection.

1144
00:41:35,394 --> 00:41:37,315
I've opened up about my struggles, like health

1145
00:41:37,315 --> 00:41:39,315
issues or everyday life, and he throws them

1146
00:41:39,315 --> 00:41:40,375
back at me in arguments

1147
00:41:42,449 --> 00:41:44,609
Since then I stopped sharing because I'm scared

1148
00:41:44,609 --> 00:41:46,609
it will be used against me again. We

1149
00:41:46,609 --> 00:41:48,369
had a huge fight three weeks ago and

1150
00:41:48,369 --> 00:41:50,130
since then I don't feel safe to share

1151
00:41:50,130 --> 00:41:51,730
my feelings or what is happening in my

1152
00:41:51,730 --> 00:41:53,489
life because I know he will say that

1153
00:41:53,489 --> 00:41:55,489
I'm not okay and that he is gonna

1154
00:41:55,489 --> 00:41:57,255
use my struggles against me.

1155
00:41:57,815 --> 00:42:00,134
He also says I safe word out of

1156
00:42:00,134 --> 00:42:02,134
things we agreed on and never bring them

1157
00:42:02,134 --> 00:42:04,054
up again, leaving him to feel like he's

1158
00:42:04,054 --> 00:42:05,355
giving without receiving.

1159
00:42:05,815 --> 00:42:07,894
I can admit I've failed on follow through,

1160
00:42:07,894 --> 00:42:09,815
but it feels like my mistakes erase all

1161
00:42:09,815 --> 00:42:11,719
the effort I do put in. At the

1162
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,279
same time, whenever I'm upset or sad, he

1163
00:42:14,279 --> 00:42:16,219
says he can't do things with me then

1164
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,199
even when he knew from day one that

1165
00:42:18,199 --> 00:42:20,139
my way of coping when I'm not okay

1166
00:42:20,199 --> 00:42:22,539
is through sexual stuff which leaves me wondering

1167
00:42:22,679 --> 00:42:25,400
when can he? Because I'm not perfect and

1168
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,380
he's not either.

1169
00:42:26,715 --> 00:42:28,155
I don't know what I'm getting from him

1170
00:42:28,155 --> 00:42:30,394
anymore. Maybe just company at night. But even

1171
00:42:30,394 --> 00:42:32,155
then, I feel like my time and emotions

1172
00:42:32,155 --> 00:42:34,315
aren't valued. I just wanna feel loved and

1173
00:42:34,315 --> 00:42:35,994
shown that I matter, not to be left

1174
00:42:35,994 --> 00:42:37,675
to guess just because he still talks to

1175
00:42:37,675 --> 00:42:40,519
me. And yet, I can't leave. I keep

1176
00:42:40,519 --> 00:42:42,699
clinging to the memory of those days together,

1177
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,420
the safety, the trust, the way subspace felt.

1178
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:47,400
I keep hoping it will come back even

1179
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,320
though the last month has been nothing but

1180
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,659
pause, fights, miscommunication, and distance.

1181
00:42:52,235 --> 00:42:54,795
I know the obvious answer is quote leave,

1182
00:42:54,795 --> 00:42:57,355
but I can't. So I'm not asking whether

1183
00:42:57,355 --> 00:42:58,735
I should. I'm asking

1184
00:42:59,035 --> 00:43:01,594
why. Why do I feel so tied to

1185
00:43:01,594 --> 00:43:03,515
someone who doesn't give me what I need

1186
00:43:03,515 --> 00:43:05,994
anymore? Why does the memory of safety and

1187
00:43:05,994 --> 00:43:08,780
love keep me stuck here even when reality

1188
00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:10,000
is starving me?

1189
00:43:10,539 --> 00:43:13,039
I want to understand myself better because logically

1190
00:43:13,099 --> 00:43:14,159
I see the problems.

1191
00:43:14,699 --> 00:43:16,159
Emotionally I'm trapped.

1192
00:43:16,460 --> 00:43:16,960
Yeah.

1193
00:43:19,260 --> 00:43:20,800
You know, I I think there's

1194
00:43:21,579 --> 00:43:22,480
the the problem

1195
00:43:24,045 --> 00:43:25,425
is more that she

1196
00:43:26,364 --> 00:43:27,105
or they,

1197
00:43:31,164 --> 00:43:33,184
you know, experience what they experienced,

1198
00:43:35,484 --> 00:43:35,984
and

1199
00:43:36,364 --> 00:43:39,119
they are kind of stuck in that spot

1200
00:43:39,119 --> 00:43:41,280
that they're like, I want this, and this

1201
00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:42,639
is the person that gave it to me.

1202
00:43:42,639 --> 00:43:44,239
And this was the moment that felt like,

1203
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:46,500
everything clicked, and this was air quote perfection.

1204
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:49,219
Mhmm. And so Yeah. You know,

1205
00:43:49,599 --> 00:43:51,619
talk about stuck in the moment. Mhmm.

1206
00:43:53,724 --> 00:43:55,025
Mhmm. You know,

1207
00:43:58,525 --> 00:43:59,964
my best thing I would say for some

1208
00:44:00,045 --> 00:44:01,984
somebody like that I mean, I know,

1209
00:44:02,284 --> 00:44:03,824
you know, we we all

1210
00:44:04,525 --> 00:44:05,025
want

1211
00:44:05,484 --> 00:44:07,324
some kind of affection, you know, we

1212
00:44:08,519 --> 00:44:10,760
closeness as as people, that's what we as

1213
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:12,539
humans, it's what we desire.

1214
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,260
You know, they're they're

1215
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:20,940
that that person needs to get in therapy.

1216
00:44:21,875 --> 00:44:23,474
I think that person needs to speak with

1217
00:44:23,474 --> 00:44:25,554
somebody. Probably. I mean, there's I'm sure there's

1218
00:44:25,554 --> 00:44:27,954
some thumb something to that. Yeah. You know?

1219
00:44:27,954 --> 00:44:30,375
And and be because, you know, to

1220
00:44:32,835 --> 00:44:34,375
and and I don't you know,

1221
00:44:35,340 --> 00:44:37,099
to a certain extent I kind of understand

1222
00:44:37,099 --> 00:44:37,599
that.

1223
00:44:39,180 --> 00:44:40,160
Because the relationship

1224
00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:43,099
with my family. Mhmm. You know, it in

1225
00:44:43,099 --> 00:44:45,180
it's almost in a sense the same thing.

1226
00:44:45,180 --> 00:44:46,539
Right. You know how good it can be.

1227
00:44:46,539 --> 00:44:48,539
So you're You you know it's supposed to

1228
00:44:48,539 --> 00:44:49,280
be good.

1229
00:44:49,579 --> 00:44:52,195
Right. You know, so you you kinda hang

1230
00:44:52,195 --> 00:44:54,034
out, you know, okay. When's the good part

1231
00:44:54,034 --> 00:44:55,875
coming back? When's the good part coming back?

1232
00:44:55,875 --> 00:44:56,375
Right.

1233
00:44:57,315 --> 00:44:58,775
And it never gets there.

1234
00:44:59,315 --> 00:45:00,755
Mhmm. And I think that's a very common

1235
00:45:00,755 --> 00:45:02,835
experience for people. I think Mhmm. Probably most

1236
00:45:02,835 --> 00:45:04,760
people have had some level of that. Yeah.

1237
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,940
The thing that came to my mind was

1238
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:07,500
something

1239
00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:10,440
I discovered about myself from my first marriage

1240
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:11,339
and that I hear,

1241
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:14,280
I've heard plenty of people talk about, like,

1242
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:15,179
in relationship

1243
00:45:16,199 --> 00:45:17,500
the relationship algorithm

1244
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:18,619
of the Internet.

1245
00:45:19,079 --> 00:45:20,139
And that is,

1246
00:45:21,775 --> 00:45:24,355
loving their potential more than the reality.

1247
00:45:25,135 --> 00:45:27,934
So this person had the best experience, air

1248
00:45:27,934 --> 00:45:30,015
quote this. I mean, that's subjective. On the

1249
00:45:30,015 --> 00:45:32,114
outside looking in, we might have gone, actually.

1250
00:45:32,679 --> 00:45:34,280
But in their mind, that was the best.

1251
00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:36,440
That was exactly what they wanted. Everything clicked

1252
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:37,179
for them. Right?

1253
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:39,880
So they know how good it can be.

1254
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:42,039
They know what that person is capable of.

1255
00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:43,420
So they know they have the potential

1256
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:45,434
the potential for it in the future, and

1257
00:45:45,434 --> 00:45:47,035
that's what they are banking on is their

1258
00:45:47,035 --> 00:45:47,535
potential.

1259
00:45:47,994 --> 00:45:50,015
What they're doing is then not

1260
00:45:50,715 --> 00:45:52,715
they see it logically because they can describe

1261
00:45:52,715 --> 00:45:53,914
it here for us. Yeah. But they are

1262
00:45:53,914 --> 00:45:55,135
not, I don't think, internalizing

1263
00:45:55,594 --> 00:45:57,994
the reality because the potential is so good.

1264
00:45:57,994 --> 00:46:00,159
The potential is filled with hope. That's the

1265
00:46:00,159 --> 00:46:01,059
future. That's what

1266
00:46:01,519 --> 00:46:04,320
could be. Right. And if somebody who stayed

1267
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,800
married for way too many years because I

1268
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:08,820
was I was aware of their potential,

1269
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,559
it's it just leads to misery long term

1270
00:46:12,559 --> 00:46:13,059
because

1271
00:46:13,844 --> 00:46:16,644
while there are valid reasons why somebody may

1272
00:46:16,644 --> 00:46:18,885
not be able to do what they once

1273
00:46:18,885 --> 00:46:19,385
did,

1274
00:46:21,125 --> 00:46:21,945
it's not

1275
00:46:22,324 --> 00:46:24,164
that's not the measure of whether this is

1276
00:46:24,164 --> 00:46:25,779
gonna be a good relationship. It's how they

1277
00:46:25,779 --> 00:46:27,000
handle it. Right?

1278
00:46:27,460 --> 00:46:30,119
If there's a valid reason they can't be

1279
00:46:30,500 --> 00:46:33,000
who this person needs, that's a conversation.

1280
00:46:33,380 --> 00:46:35,460
That's a let's bare our souls kind of

1281
00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:37,619
a let me get real fucking real with

1282
00:46:37,619 --> 00:46:39,675
you about what's going on with me. Here's

1283
00:46:39,835 --> 00:46:41,594
like, how do we work around this? How

1284
00:46:41,594 --> 00:46:43,114
do we fix this? How do we whatever

1285
00:46:43,114 --> 00:46:43,614
whatever.

1286
00:46:45,195 --> 00:46:45,934
This person,

1287
00:46:47,355 --> 00:46:49,994
you know, made promises and then doesn't keep

1288
00:46:49,994 --> 00:46:50,974
them and then

1289
00:46:51,594 --> 00:46:53,269
gets mad at them for having, I don't

1290
00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:57,210
know, human needs and feelings and emotions, which

1291
00:46:57,829 --> 00:47:00,170
what is it with these fucking doms

1292
00:47:01,909 --> 00:47:03,589
who can't handle that their subs are, you

1293
00:47:03,589 --> 00:47:06,785
know, people? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. But

1294
00:47:06,785 --> 00:47:07,844
I you know,

1295
00:47:09,744 --> 00:47:10,805
please don't choke.

1296
00:47:11,664 --> 00:47:13,825
Please don't choke. Try not to. It's not

1297
00:47:13,825 --> 00:47:15,585
my intention. I know that's not your kink.

1298
00:47:15,585 --> 00:47:16,325
Yeah. No.

1299
00:47:17,344 --> 00:47:20,065
Yeah. I think I think they're they're clinging

1300
00:47:20,065 --> 00:47:22,130
to something, whether it's the memory, it's the

1301
00:47:22,130 --> 00:47:23,190
hope for the future.

1302
00:47:24,289 --> 00:47:24,789
And

1303
00:47:25,410 --> 00:47:25,910
sometimes

1304
00:47:26,610 --> 00:47:29,090
the hope for the future is way more

1305
00:47:29,090 --> 00:47:30,550
interesting, way more

1306
00:47:30,849 --> 00:47:31,349
comforting

1307
00:47:31,650 --> 00:47:33,570
than the reality. And you just kinda keep

1308
00:47:33,570 --> 00:47:35,170
going, but it could get better. It could

1309
00:47:35,170 --> 00:47:35,829
get better.

1310
00:47:38,894 --> 00:47:40,594
But obviously it does not.

1311
00:47:41,134 --> 00:47:41,634
Now

1312
00:47:42,974 --> 00:47:45,534
there's, I'm sure many more reasons why. I

1313
00:47:45,534 --> 00:47:47,454
mean, as a person who's a nosy bitch,

1314
00:47:47,454 --> 00:47:49,074
I'm like, okay, what are your past relationships

1315
00:47:49,534 --> 00:47:50,034
like?

1316
00:47:52,650 --> 00:47:54,889
Any past traumas you're willing to share? Like,

1317
00:47:54,889 --> 00:47:57,050
what where what is going on or is

1318
00:47:57,050 --> 00:47:58,429
going on in your life

1319
00:47:59,289 --> 00:47:59,789
where

1320
00:48:00,969 --> 00:48:02,589
you would rather cling to

1321
00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:05,609
both the past, this amazing memory and experience

1322
00:48:05,609 --> 00:48:07,335
that you had, and then the hope for

1323
00:48:07,335 --> 00:48:07,914
the future

1324
00:48:08,375 --> 00:48:09,275
and let yourself,

1325
00:48:10,375 --> 00:48:12,875
you know, to know to know logically

1326
00:48:13,335 --> 00:48:15,574
and still be unable to walk away. Like,

1327
00:48:15,574 --> 00:48:17,175
there I think you're right. I think there's

1328
00:48:17,175 --> 00:48:19,255
probably, you know, a therapist might be able

1329
00:48:19,255 --> 00:48:20,775
to help just to talk through some shit.

1330
00:48:20,775 --> 00:48:24,280
Right? Just to, you know, hopefully, learn your

1331
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:27,000
inherent value as a human and that you

1332
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,699
deserve better. Mhmm. And this person ain't fucking

1333
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,920
shit. Ain't looking out for that. No. They

1334
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:33,614
have their

1335
00:48:34,494 --> 00:48:36,434
fun in the moment in person

1336
00:48:36,974 --> 00:48:37,635
and then

1337
00:48:38,175 --> 00:48:40,815
didn't want, didn't expect, didn't plan for the

1338
00:48:40,815 --> 00:48:43,614
responsibility and the the difficulty of a long

1339
00:48:43,614 --> 00:48:46,029
distance relationship. Mhmm. And instead of just being

1340
00:48:46,029 --> 00:48:47,869
fucking honest and going, hey, what we had

1341
00:48:47,869 --> 00:48:49,710
there was great, but I can't do this.

1342
00:48:49,710 --> 00:48:51,949
This doesn't work for me or I find

1343
00:48:51,949 --> 00:48:54,109
it too difficult or whatever. Like, whatever their

1344
00:48:54,109 --> 00:48:56,369
fucking reasons are. They can't just fucking

1345
00:48:57,469 --> 00:48:59,710
say it and then work through the pain

1346
00:48:59,710 --> 00:49:00,074
of

1347
00:49:00,635 --> 00:49:02,335
them just walking away. Like,

1348
00:49:05,195 --> 00:49:05,855
I just

1349
00:49:08,234 --> 00:49:10,554
it's very sad because I know plenty of

1350
00:49:10,554 --> 00:49:12,635
people, you know, I've seen them online. They

1351
00:49:12,635 --> 00:49:15,114
can articulate everything that's wrong and but they're

1352
00:49:15,114 --> 00:49:15,614
like,

1353
00:49:16,349 --> 00:49:18,190
but I don't wanna go back. The other

1354
00:49:18,190 --> 00:49:20,269
thing that came to mind is was this

1355
00:49:20,269 --> 00:49:22,349
person in sub frenzy when they have this

1356
00:49:22,349 --> 00:49:24,289
beautiful perfect amazing moment?

1357
00:49:24,990 --> 00:49:27,250
Mhmm. And man, that's some neurochemical

1358
00:49:27,789 --> 00:49:29,470
blah de blah shit that'll fuck with you.

1359
00:49:29,470 --> 00:49:31,490
Looking at it through those rose colored glasses?

1360
00:49:32,324 --> 00:49:33,224
Absolutely. Absolutely.

1361
00:49:33,605 --> 00:49:36,484
And then I wonder how much because for

1362
00:49:36,484 --> 00:49:38,484
as in-depth as this is, there's gonna be

1363
00:49:38,484 --> 00:49:41,304
layers that haven't been shared of how much

1364
00:49:41,925 --> 00:49:42,824
air quote forgiveness

1365
00:49:43,364 --> 00:49:46,039
is this sub giving their dom? Like, explaining

1366
00:49:46,039 --> 00:49:48,039
shit away. Oh, well, they had a long

1367
00:49:48,039 --> 00:49:50,780
day. Oh, they're very tired. It's this whole

1368
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:54,039
focusing on caring about and putting their needs

1369
00:49:54,039 --> 00:49:56,840
above your own, which is not uncommon in

1370
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:58,380
any relationship style.

1371
00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:01,764
And it's okay to do when it's reciprocated.

1372
00:50:02,065 --> 00:50:03,664
Right. You know, when you know that other

1373
00:50:03,664 --> 00:50:05,364
person's gonna do it for you.

1374
00:50:06,464 --> 00:50:06,964
But

1375
00:50:07,585 --> 00:50:09,284
there's also the why.

1376
00:50:10,464 --> 00:50:12,224
I can't I have to keep reminding myself

1377
00:50:12,224 --> 00:50:13,744
this is literally only been a few months.

1378
00:50:13,744 --> 00:50:15,579
This is very, very fucking new. So you

1379
00:50:15,579 --> 00:50:17,260
got new relationship energy, you probably have some

1380
00:50:17,260 --> 00:50:17,920
sub frenzy.

1381
00:50:18,460 --> 00:50:20,219
There's also this belief that a lot of

1382
00:50:20,219 --> 00:50:22,880
submissives get that they have that one amazing

1383
00:50:22,940 --> 00:50:24,159
experience with this

1384
00:50:25,260 --> 00:50:28,300
musty dusty fucking dom who don't fucking deserve

1385
00:50:28,300 --> 00:50:30,320
it and they convince themselves

1386
00:50:30,835 --> 00:50:32,594
they won't ever get something like that again

1387
00:50:32,594 --> 00:50:34,434
with anybody else. There's no other doms out

1388
00:50:34,434 --> 00:50:36,515
there, or it won't be that good, or

1389
00:50:36,515 --> 00:50:38,934
they won't meet somebody. You met this motherfucker,

1390
00:50:39,074 --> 00:50:41,235
you will meet somebody. Yes. If this one

1391
00:50:41,235 --> 00:50:42,934
came crawling out of the cracks,

1392
00:50:43,315 --> 00:50:45,815
I promise you there's somebody else out there.

1393
00:50:46,889 --> 00:50:48,170
So, you know, I think there could be

1394
00:50:48,170 --> 00:50:49,069
a lot of reasons

1395
00:50:49,609 --> 00:50:52,609
why they're struggling. I, you know Excuse me.

1396
00:50:52,809 --> 00:50:54,670
I do like the fact that they can

1397
00:50:55,929 --> 00:50:56,589
they can

1398
00:50:58,010 --> 00:51:00,269
clearly state what is wrong.

1399
00:51:01,034 --> 00:51:03,034
That's a good sign. I know I myself

1400
00:51:03,034 --> 00:51:05,355
lived in denial for a very long fucking

1401
00:51:05,355 --> 00:51:05,855
time.

1402
00:51:06,394 --> 00:51:08,014
And I've known people who

1403
00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,994
to this day are still in a bit

1404
00:51:09,994 --> 00:51:10,655
of denial,

1405
00:51:11,994 --> 00:51:13,530
about their own stuff.

1406
00:51:15,449 --> 00:51:16,909
It's more, you know,

1407
00:51:17,289 --> 00:51:18,510
what hurts worse

1408
00:51:19,369 --> 00:51:21,070
being treated like this

1409
00:51:22,730 --> 00:51:24,809
and maybe getting a phone call every so

1410
00:51:24,809 --> 00:51:26,969
often or being left the fuck alone so

1411
00:51:26,969 --> 00:51:28,574
you can live your best fucking life, life.

1412
00:51:28,574 --> 00:51:29,954
You know? As

1413
00:51:30,414 --> 00:51:32,175
a a sub with, you know, either no

1414
00:51:32,175 --> 00:51:33,454
partner or a long distance partner, you can

1415
00:51:33,454 --> 00:51:34,974
go your ass to munches if they're available.

1416
00:51:34,974 --> 00:51:36,255
You can go to workshops. You can go

1417
00:51:36,255 --> 00:51:36,835
to conventions.

1418
00:51:37,375 --> 00:51:39,214
You can join online groups. You can go

1419
00:51:39,214 --> 00:51:41,010
out there and live your best submissive

1420
00:51:41,550 --> 00:51:43,550
self without a fucking dom. I know it's

1421
00:51:43,550 --> 00:51:45,470
not ideal for for most of us. We

1422
00:51:45,470 --> 00:51:47,390
would like to have a partner. I fucking

1423
00:51:47,390 --> 00:51:50,190
get that. But this one's making you feel

1424
00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:50,690
miserable.

1425
00:51:51,070 --> 00:51:51,570
Right.

1426
00:51:51,869 --> 00:51:55,170
You deserve better than that. Everybody deserves better

1427
00:51:55,275 --> 00:51:57,755
than to be with somebody who treats them

1428
00:51:57,755 --> 00:51:59,994
as an afterthought, can't be bothered to communicate

1429
00:51:59,994 --> 00:52:00,654
with them,

1430
00:52:01,034 --> 00:52:01,614
you know,

1431
00:52:02,315 --> 00:52:04,414
strings them along, leads them on.

1432
00:52:04,795 --> 00:52:06,795
The Dom needs to just fucking come clean

1433
00:52:06,795 --> 00:52:08,630
and go, this This clearly isn't

1434
00:52:09,250 --> 00:52:11,109
working. Mhmm. I can't be what you need.

1435
00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:12,609
That was how I got broken up with

1436
00:52:12,609 --> 00:52:13,670
before I met JB.

1437
00:52:14,130 --> 00:52:16,469
We had an amazing in person moment.

1438
00:52:18,210 --> 00:52:20,130
Went our separate ways. We're separated by just

1439
00:52:20,130 --> 00:52:22,049
a few hours. We're like, yeah, about eight

1440
00:52:22,049 --> 00:52:23,474
hour drive, kinda like you and I work.

1441
00:52:24,355 --> 00:52:24,855
Were.

1442
00:52:25,394 --> 00:52:26,835
And for a while, it was fine and

1443
00:52:26,835 --> 00:52:28,914
then it wasn't. And I was clinging on

1444
00:52:28,914 --> 00:52:30,595
to hope. I can do this. I can

1445
00:52:30,595 --> 00:52:32,215
make this work. And he was like,

1446
00:52:32,994 --> 00:52:34,914
I don't want to do it that way.

1447
00:52:34,914 --> 00:52:36,695
I can't give you what you need.

1448
00:52:37,075 --> 00:52:39,175
I this is done. And, oh,

1449
00:52:39,549 --> 00:52:41,730
that was awful. It was it was

1450
00:52:42,190 --> 00:52:44,190
one of the worst feelings I've ever felt

1451
00:52:44,190 --> 00:52:45,409
in my fucking life.

1452
00:52:46,909 --> 00:52:47,409
But

1453
00:52:48,190 --> 00:52:49,789
for all that, you know, he might not

1454
00:52:49,789 --> 00:52:52,082
have been everything that he portrayed himself to

1455
00:52:52,082 --> 00:52:53,974
be as people tried to tell me afterwards

1456
00:52:53,974 --> 00:52:55,735
but those people were not trustworthy so I

1457
00:52:55,735 --> 00:52:56,474
don't know.

1458
00:52:57,494 --> 00:52:59,894
There's a whole mess. I don't like drama

1459
00:52:59,894 --> 00:53:01,655
in my life and somehow I stepped into

1460
00:53:01,655 --> 00:53:02,635
it with this breakup.

1461
00:53:04,295 --> 00:53:06,695
But looking back that was the responsible thing

1462
00:53:06,695 --> 00:53:07,275
to do.

1463
00:53:08,010 --> 00:53:09,769
He couldn't do what he said he would

1464
00:53:09,769 --> 00:53:11,289
do. He couldn't be what he said he

1465
00:53:11,289 --> 00:53:13,690
would be. And he couldn't give me the

1466
00:53:13,690 --> 00:53:15,309
level of focus and attention

1467
00:53:16,489 --> 00:53:18,650
that, you know, we both agreed that's what

1468
00:53:18,650 --> 00:53:20,329
this power exchange deserved and so we just

1469
00:53:20,329 --> 00:53:22,885
fucking cut ties. So that's what this fucker

1470
00:53:22,885 --> 00:53:23,784
needs to do.

1471
00:53:24,085 --> 00:53:26,105
Stop stringing the sub along. Yeah.

1472
00:53:26,484 --> 00:53:27,784
The breakup will suck.

1473
00:53:29,045 --> 00:53:31,224
You'll heal. I promise you you will.

1474
00:53:31,525 --> 00:53:33,364
But if you can't force yourself away, I

1475
00:53:33,364 --> 00:53:34,885
really want you to force yourself away. You

1476
00:53:34,885 --> 00:53:36,659
can do this. You're better off without this

1477
00:53:37,380 --> 00:53:39,219
mofo. That's what they should do. They can't,

1478
00:53:39,219 --> 00:53:41,139
you know, just fucking own it. I can't

1479
00:53:41,139 --> 00:53:42,760
be what I thought we could be.

1480
00:53:44,099 --> 00:53:44,599
Done.

1481
00:53:46,019 --> 00:53:47,719
Yeah. Done. Mhmm.

1482
00:53:48,019 --> 00:53:49,780
That one doesn't make me angry. It just

1483
00:53:49,780 --> 00:53:51,155
makes me sad. Yeah.

1484
00:53:51,934 --> 00:53:53,775
But I have hope for this person because

1485
00:53:53,775 --> 00:53:56,015
they could clearly articulate all this. They Right.

1486
00:53:56,015 --> 00:53:57,335
I think they'll get there. I think Mhmm.

1487
00:53:57,535 --> 00:53:58,894
Maybe they need some more support. Maybe they

1488
00:53:58,894 --> 00:54:00,574
need to hear some more voices, something something,

1489
00:54:00,574 --> 00:54:02,255
but I think they can get there. Have

1490
00:54:02,255 --> 00:54:03,155
faith in them.

1491
00:54:06,660 --> 00:54:07,559
Excuse me.

1492
00:54:09,059 --> 00:54:09,559
Lord.

1493
00:54:11,059 --> 00:54:14,039
That was it. Okay. That's all we had.

1494
00:54:14,340 --> 00:54:16,420
I am hot and sweaty as usual. If

1495
00:54:16,420 --> 00:54:17,864
my blood pressure does not go up in

1496
00:54:17,864 --> 00:54:19,385
one of these episodes, have we really done

1497
00:54:19,385 --> 00:54:21,304
it right? Mhmm. No. No. The rosy cheeks

1498
00:54:21,304 --> 00:54:22,905
too a little bit that, you know. And

1499
00:54:22,905 --> 00:54:24,525
and, thank you perimenopause.

1500
00:54:24,905 --> 00:54:26,844
Thank you changing body. Thank you,

1501
00:54:28,664 --> 00:54:29,485
less elasticity

1502
00:54:29,945 --> 00:54:31,724
in my skin. I now get

1503
00:54:32,139 --> 00:54:33,820
sweat that sits right on the top of

1504
00:54:33,820 --> 00:54:35,519
my cheeks, right under my eyes,

1505
00:54:36,780 --> 00:54:38,639
just below where the bags live.

1506
00:54:40,059 --> 00:54:40,559
And,

1507
00:54:41,420 --> 00:54:42,780
it lets me know how hot I am

1508
00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:44,619
as if I couldn't tell. Also, it's a

1509
00:54:44,619 --> 00:54:45,599
sensory nightmare.

1510
00:54:46,699 --> 00:54:47,199
But

1511
00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:47,954
I

1512
00:54:48,835 --> 00:54:50,855
know that I got toasty water

1513
00:54:52,035 --> 00:54:53,094
because that little

1514
00:54:53,394 --> 00:54:54,934
ledge on my face

1515
00:54:56,515 --> 00:54:57,735
is hot and sweaty.

1516
00:54:58,035 --> 00:54:58,535
Goodness.

1517
00:54:59,075 --> 00:54:59,575
Anyway.

1518
00:55:00,675 --> 00:55:01,175
Mhmm.

1519
00:55:03,260 --> 00:55:05,179
So So What's that? With all that being

1520
00:55:05,179 --> 00:55:07,199
said We do a bonus section?

1521
00:55:09,500 --> 00:55:10,880
Sure. Of course.

1522
00:55:11,579 --> 00:55:12,239
Sound good?

1523
00:55:12,860 --> 00:55:13,994
That's not for me to

1524
00:55:14,555 --> 00:55:15,055
say.

1525
00:55:16,474 --> 00:55:18,075
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1526
00:55:18,075 --> 00:55:18,735
next week.

1527
00:55:28,440 --> 00:55:30,760
Daddy. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to

1528
00:55:30,760 --> 00:55:32,679
the crickets and maybe I won't yell and

1529
00:55:32,679 --> 00:55:34,280
get kind of blood pressure up and get

1530
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,019
all sweaty

1531
00:55:35,400 --> 00:55:37,480
and red cheeked more red cheeked than I

1532
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:38,460
naturally am.

1533
00:55:39,639 --> 00:55:41,639
Go right ahead, baby girl. Which I do

1534
00:55:41,639 --> 00:55:44,344
suspect is probably rosacea. But insurance doesn't cover

1535
00:55:44,344 --> 00:55:45,244
those kind of dermatology

1536
00:55:45,545 --> 00:55:47,964
appointments, so I'll just keep suspecting it.

1537
00:55:55,065 --> 00:55:56,844
So, yeah. We,

1538
00:55:58,500 --> 00:56:00,760
we're here. Mhmm. We survived

1539
00:56:01,780 --> 00:56:03,860
moving the 20 year old into his new

1540
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:06,519
apartment. Yep. I do feel like I physically

1541
00:56:06,739 --> 00:56:08,440
survived something because

1542
00:56:09,699 --> 00:56:12,244
when we moved him out of the he's

1543
00:56:12,244 --> 00:56:14,724
he's not on a, First Floor apartment. He's

1544
00:56:14,724 --> 00:56:16,805
on a Second Floor apartment, both places. When

1545
00:56:16,805 --> 00:56:18,644
we moved him out, I was taking those

1546
00:56:18,644 --> 00:56:20,164
steps up and down and up and down,

1547
00:56:20,164 --> 00:56:22,664
and there felt like a million of them.

1548
00:56:23,010 --> 00:56:24,710
Mhmm. And I was tired,

1549
00:56:25,010 --> 00:56:26,150
but I was fine.

1550
00:56:27,010 --> 00:56:27,510
This

1551
00:56:28,610 --> 00:56:30,630
time, oh my god. Every

1552
00:56:31,010 --> 00:56:32,150
time I went up,

1553
00:56:32,849 --> 00:56:35,510
I had to, like, pause, take a beat,

1554
00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:38,714
tell myself your heart will not always beat

1555
00:56:38,714 --> 00:56:39,454
this hard.

1556
00:56:40,394 --> 00:56:40,894
And

1557
00:56:41,275 --> 00:56:42,954
every time, I do not know what the

1558
00:56:42,954 --> 00:56:45,355
difference was because I was fine that first

1559
00:56:45,355 --> 00:56:47,275
time. I was carrying boxes both times. That

1560
00:56:47,275 --> 00:56:48,875
it was well over a 100 degrees. I'm

1561
00:56:48,875 --> 00:56:50,894
sure that had something to do with it.

1562
00:56:52,119 --> 00:56:53,019
You know? Yeah.

1563
00:56:53,559 --> 00:56:55,400
But, yeah. It it was it was a

1564
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:56,139
lot rougher

1565
00:56:57,639 --> 00:56:59,239
getting him there than it was getting him

1566
00:56:59,239 --> 00:57:01,400
here. Yeah. It was. Oh my god. Yeah.

1567
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:02,059
It was.

1568
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,679
I'm also I don't really need it anymore

1569
00:57:04,679 --> 00:57:07,075
because I don't have to worry about periods

1570
00:57:07,075 --> 00:57:09,075
or anything. But I am just now at

1571
00:57:09,075 --> 00:57:11,555
the big age of 45 learning about the

1572
00:57:11,555 --> 00:57:13,235
luteal phase and the this phase and the

1573
00:57:13,235 --> 00:57:15,735
that phase and how, like, where your hormones

1574
00:57:15,954 --> 00:57:16,454
are

1575
00:57:16,755 --> 00:57:19,474
at any given point within a cycle, which

1576
00:57:19,474 --> 00:57:21,329
I've been perimenopause, my cycle is

1577
00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:24,550
just a squiggly line, can determine how much,

1578
00:57:24,930 --> 00:57:26,530
energy you have, how much this you have,

1579
00:57:26,530 --> 00:57:27,590
how much that you have.

1580
00:57:27,969 --> 00:57:30,530
The muscle mommy side of Instagram taught me

1581
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:31,269
some of that.

1582
00:57:31,969 --> 00:57:33,844
And so I do sometimes wonder. It's

1583
00:57:34,304 --> 00:57:35,425
like, oh, oh, am I, like, out of

1584
00:57:35,425 --> 00:57:37,445
whack more than normal? And so it's

1585
00:57:37,824 --> 00:57:40,405
whichever direction it goes that can, you know,

1586
00:57:40,465 --> 00:57:42,625
make you tire more easily or have less

1587
00:57:42,625 --> 00:57:44,385
strength or stamina. I don't know. I don't

1588
00:57:44,385 --> 00:57:46,144
know. I'm still learning about it. Even though

1589
00:57:46,144 --> 00:57:47,809
I don't need to care because we we're

1590
00:57:47,809 --> 00:57:51,170
not tracking shit around here. That part of

1591
00:57:51,170 --> 00:57:52,469
the plumbing is gone.

1592
00:57:52,929 --> 00:57:53,429
So,

1593
00:57:55,489 --> 00:57:56,550
but it was embarrassing

1594
00:57:56,849 --> 00:57:58,309
because look. I know

1595
00:57:58,929 --> 00:58:00,949
who I am and what I look like.

1596
00:58:01,010 --> 00:58:01,510
And

1597
00:58:02,155 --> 00:58:03,994
I wanted to wear a sign that said,

1598
00:58:03,994 --> 00:58:05,755
normally I do not huff and puff on

1599
00:58:05,755 --> 00:58:06,974
the fucking stairs.

1600
00:58:08,155 --> 00:58:10,575
I didn't and I didn't tell strangers that.

1601
00:58:10,635 --> 00:58:13,295
I just owned my huffing and puffing.

1602
00:58:13,914 --> 00:58:14,159
I just

1603
00:58:16,079 --> 00:58:20,000
some very attractive college student who clearly is

1604
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,519
still a baby, but, like, an older baby

1605
00:58:21,519 --> 00:58:22,659
and was I was like,

1606
00:58:23,039 --> 00:58:25,679
if you weren't my child's neighbor, I'd I

1607
00:58:25,679 --> 00:58:27,440
think you were very attractive, but that just

1608
00:58:27,440 --> 00:58:28,179
feels uncomfortable.

1609
00:58:28,719 --> 00:58:31,065
Walked past me and did that polite, oh,

1610
00:58:31,065 --> 00:58:32,284
there's an old lady

1611
00:58:32,744 --> 00:58:34,684
dying on the stairs smile

1612
00:58:35,545 --> 00:58:37,085
of, hey. How you doing?

1613
00:58:43,260 --> 00:58:47,901
You're right. I just wanted to walk around

1614
00:58:47,993 --> 00:58:52,635
on the side. I was like, you guys

1615
00:58:52,726 --> 00:58:57,368
usually have the cup upstairs. Thank you, Andre.

1616
00:58:58,051 --> 00:59:01,075
Andre. So for podcast listeners, it was a

1617
00:59:01,075 --> 00:59:03,715
super chat in in YouTube live chat. So

1618
00:59:03,875 --> 00:59:05,335
but yeah. It you know,

1619
00:59:05,715 --> 00:59:06,215
it

1620
00:59:06,994 --> 00:59:09,474
we we talked about it, and it was

1621
00:59:09,474 --> 00:59:11,155
one of those things. We were we were

1622
00:59:11,155 --> 00:59:13,380
glad to have him home. It was, It

1623
00:59:13,380 --> 00:59:16,099
was wonderful. It was nice. Forgotten about him

1624
00:59:16,099 --> 00:59:17,699
being here. It was nice to have him

1625
00:59:17,699 --> 00:59:18,199
here,

1626
00:59:18,579 --> 00:59:21,059
and and what made it nice too is

1627
00:59:21,059 --> 00:59:23,619
because it had been a hot minute since

1628
00:59:23,619 --> 00:59:25,000
he'd really been here.

1629
00:59:25,914 --> 00:59:27,114
You know and when we go up to

1630
00:59:27,114 --> 00:59:28,954
see him it's kind of a whirlwind because

1631
00:59:28,954 --> 00:59:30,635
you know we take him get groceries take

1632
00:59:30,635 --> 00:59:32,234
him shopping take him get something to eat

1633
00:59:32,234 --> 00:59:33,994
you know and then we we go back

1634
00:59:33,994 --> 00:59:35,194
but kick him out the car and go

1635
00:59:35,194 --> 00:59:36,014
yeah but

1636
00:59:36,795 --> 00:59:38,654
you know to to see

1637
00:59:40,190 --> 00:59:42,450
how he has grown and matured

1638
00:59:43,230 --> 00:59:45,390
in the time and the conversations that can

1639
00:59:45,390 --> 00:59:46,930
be had with him now Oh, yeah. Now,

1640
00:59:47,309 --> 00:59:49,970
it's it's it's amazing. It it's a marvelous

1641
00:59:50,030 --> 00:59:51,730
and wonderful thing to see. Mhmm.

1642
00:59:52,764 --> 00:59:54,445
But it was very nice for him to

1643
00:59:54,445 --> 00:59:56,545
go back to his his own place

1644
00:59:57,244 --> 00:59:58,385
because yeah.

1645
00:59:58,684 --> 01:00:01,565
Monday morning, being back to my typical routine,

1646
01:00:01,565 --> 01:00:03,324
I felt like a new woman. I was

1647
01:00:03,324 --> 01:00:04,625
like, I can do anything

1648
01:00:04,925 --> 01:00:07,719
because my routine is mine. I'm not sharing

1649
01:00:07,719 --> 01:00:10,599
a car. I'm not Mm-mm. Even though he

1650
01:00:10,599 --> 01:00:11,500
is technically

1651
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:14,440
a baby adult, but an adult has been

1652
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:16,599
getting his ass out of bed by his

1653
01:00:16,599 --> 01:00:18,780
damn self for two years.

1654
01:00:19,094 --> 01:00:21,094
And I know that. And I the first

1655
01:00:21,094 --> 01:00:23,195
day he was home and he had class

1656
01:00:23,894 --> 01:00:25,094
that day, and so he would need to

1657
01:00:25,094 --> 01:00:26,614
get up by a certain time, leave. I

1658
01:00:26,614 --> 01:00:28,375
was tempted to go check and I stopped

1659
01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,614
myself. I was like, self? He's been doing

1660
01:00:30,614 --> 01:00:32,695
this by himself all this time. You don't

1661
01:00:32,695 --> 01:00:34,454
need to do it. But what I realized

1662
01:00:34,454 --> 01:00:35,070
is having

1663
01:00:35,630 --> 01:00:37,309
him home and knowing that he had a

1664
01:00:37,309 --> 01:00:39,390
schedule or trying to figure out where he

1665
01:00:39,390 --> 01:00:41,070
was going to be in time and space

1666
01:00:41,070 --> 01:00:42,750
in a given day, it was a lot

1667
01:00:42,750 --> 01:00:43,809
more mental energy

1668
01:00:44,430 --> 01:00:46,910
than I remembered ever using before. I was

1669
01:00:46,910 --> 01:00:47,890
like just

1670
01:00:48,255 --> 01:00:49,234
constantly aware

1671
01:00:49,855 --> 01:00:52,174
of partly it's because I'm the anxious mother

1672
01:00:52,174 --> 01:00:54,335
who's waiting for, you know, mom I got

1673
01:00:54,335 --> 01:00:56,174
a ticket. Mom I'm in an accident. You

1674
01:00:56,174 --> 01:00:57,635
know, something awful.

1675
01:00:58,094 --> 01:00:58,894
So I'm just

1676
01:00:59,855 --> 01:01:01,409
I know I was on edge about that,

1677
01:01:01,409 --> 01:01:03,409
but not knowing that yeah. I think about

1678
01:01:03,409 --> 01:01:04,690
him. Like, I wonder how he's doing and

1679
01:01:04,690 --> 01:01:06,289
he's doing band camp right now and how's

1680
01:01:06,289 --> 01:01:08,130
that going? And I know he's met somebody

1681
01:01:08,130 --> 01:01:09,730
and he's like head over heels right now.

1682
01:01:09,730 --> 01:01:11,670
I'm like, how I have these thoughts,

1683
01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:14,769
but it's different when he's not actually here

1684
01:01:14,769 --> 01:01:16,855
versus when he was here. And, yeah, this

1685
01:01:16,855 --> 01:01:18,454
past Monday, I was like, I can do

1686
01:01:18,454 --> 01:01:18,954
anything.

1687
01:01:19,255 --> 01:01:21,275
I got all the time in the world.

1688
01:01:21,494 --> 01:01:23,494
Yep. Yep. That was my last day of

1689
01:01:23,494 --> 01:01:26,135
being productive this this week so far. So

1690
01:01:26,135 --> 01:01:27,114
that's been fun.

1691
01:01:27,815 --> 01:01:30,055
That's been fun. Yeah. It it's been, you

1692
01:01:30,055 --> 01:01:31,949
know, it it's been a crazy week.

1693
01:01:33,150 --> 01:01:34,449
I have been up to my

1694
01:01:35,389 --> 01:01:35,889
neck

1695
01:01:37,150 --> 01:01:37,969
in wood.

1696
01:01:38,829 --> 01:01:40,349
Not even in that fun way. I mean,

1697
01:01:40,349 --> 01:01:41,630
he could No. He could be if he

1698
01:01:41,630 --> 01:01:42,609
wanted to be.

1699
01:01:44,364 --> 01:01:46,144
No. I I have been,

1700
01:01:47,724 --> 01:01:48,545
on a mission.

1701
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:51,985
I am going through and I am

1702
01:01:52,605 --> 01:01:53,664
cleaning the garage.

1703
01:01:54,844 --> 01:01:57,025
And the garage is where all the

1704
01:01:57,539 --> 01:01:58,280
wood gets

1705
01:01:58,739 --> 01:02:01,480
kept Especially the scrap wood. Prior to milling.

1706
01:02:02,820 --> 01:02:03,140
And,

1707
01:02:03,940 --> 01:02:06,099
I am just digging through every crack crevice

1708
01:02:06,099 --> 01:02:06,840
and corner

1709
01:02:07,699 --> 01:02:09,880
and pulling everything out and, like, okay.

1710
01:02:10,260 --> 01:02:11,985
What can I do with this? What's this

1711
01:02:12,065 --> 01:02:14,305
gonna be? And just My favorite was it

1712
01:02:14,305 --> 01:02:15,985
the bloodwood or was it the purple heart

1713
01:02:15,985 --> 01:02:18,164
you came from? I found a whole thing

1714
01:02:18,224 --> 01:02:19,045
of this Bloodwood.

1715
01:02:19,425 --> 01:02:21,905
Of this very expensive exotic wood. I didn't

1716
01:02:21,905 --> 01:02:23,664
even know I had. I was like Four

1717
01:02:23,664 --> 01:02:26,480
foot piece of four foot piece of redwood.

1718
01:02:26,619 --> 01:02:29,500
Which on Or bloodwood. Bloodwood. On today's market,

1719
01:02:29,500 --> 01:02:31,820
that might be worth some gold or something.

1720
01:02:31,820 --> 01:02:34,000
I don't know. I know. I know.

1721
01:02:36,380 --> 01:02:36,699
We,

1722
01:02:38,460 --> 01:02:39,119
we're planning

1723
01:02:39,815 --> 01:02:41,514
for JB to go to the sawmill.

1724
01:02:42,454 --> 01:02:44,255
And we don't know how prices have changed

1725
01:02:44,614 --> 01:02:46,375
Yeah. With how things have gone. So we're

1726
01:02:46,375 --> 01:02:47,674
only actually planning

1727
01:02:47,974 --> 01:02:50,134
on getting our basic woods, not our fun

1728
01:02:50,134 --> 01:02:51,114
woods. Yeah.

1729
01:02:52,614 --> 01:02:55,180
Like, we hope we're budgeting correctly, but we

1730
01:02:55,180 --> 01:02:57,420
we don't have that. We don't have that.

1731
01:02:57,420 --> 01:02:59,340
Now thankfully the guy picker shock when I

1732
01:02:59,340 --> 01:03:01,840
do it. Yeah. You might thankfully, the sawmill

1733
01:03:01,900 --> 01:03:03,519
guy adores JB.

1734
01:03:03,900 --> 01:03:06,375
Yeah. And so, like I don't know why,

1735
01:03:06,375 --> 01:03:08,775
but yeah. You got that personality and you

1736
01:03:08,775 --> 01:03:10,614
got that face. People wanna just tell you

1737
01:03:10,614 --> 01:03:12,235
about their life and you

1738
01:03:12,775 --> 01:03:14,695
are polite and don't tell them to fuck

1739
01:03:14,695 --> 01:03:17,835
off and you just let them. And people

1740
01:03:17,894 --> 01:03:18,635
like that.

1741
01:03:19,094 --> 01:03:21,599
It's like for some parts of the population,

1742
01:03:21,739 --> 01:03:23,420
I'm not fucking one of them, but people

1743
01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:26,059
like to feel seen and heard and you

1744
01:03:26,059 --> 01:03:27,280
like make that,

1745
01:03:27,980 --> 01:03:29,760
you know, easy for people.

1746
01:03:30,139 --> 01:03:31,844
And you're not a judgmental ass. Now you

1747
01:03:31,844 --> 01:03:33,204
might be judging them in your head and

1748
01:03:33,204 --> 01:03:34,324
then you're gonna come home to me and

1749
01:03:34,324 --> 01:03:36,244
go, let me fucking tell you what this

1750
01:03:36,244 --> 01:03:38,405
motherfucker said. And I'm here for it. Okay.

1751
01:03:38,405 --> 01:03:39,364
I'm here for it.

1752
01:03:39,844 --> 01:03:42,244
But yeah. You're such you're like, yeah. People

1753
01:03:42,244 --> 01:03:43,144
know that you're

1754
01:03:43,684 --> 01:03:44,585
a good human.

1755
01:03:45,410 --> 01:03:47,329
It does help that you, you know, are

1756
01:03:47,329 --> 01:03:48,849
a good human and so therefore you act

1757
01:03:48,849 --> 01:03:49,750
like a good human.

1758
01:03:50,050 --> 01:03:51,969
But yeah. I did mildly lose my shit

1759
01:03:51,969 --> 01:03:53,510
with one of the neighbors yesterday.

1760
01:03:53,809 --> 01:03:56,050
But you know what? And this was a

1761
01:03:56,050 --> 01:03:58,050
moment where I was like, j JB, use

1762
01:03:58,050 --> 01:03:59,650
your privilege on the way that you should

1763
01:03:59,650 --> 01:04:02,074
because that old dude was only gonna listen

1764
01:04:02,074 --> 01:04:03,534
to somebody who looked like you.

1765
01:04:04,954 --> 01:04:07,675
And he, you know, you probably didn't change

1766
01:04:07,675 --> 01:04:09,194
his mind, but he backed the fuck down.

1767
01:04:09,194 --> 01:04:11,194
Yeah. Yeah. He didn't get combative. With me,

1768
01:04:11,194 --> 01:04:13,449
I'd have gotten a well little Missy blah

1769
01:04:13,449 --> 01:04:13,949
blah

1770
01:04:14,250 --> 01:04:14,690
blah.

1771
01:04:16,090 --> 01:04:17,369
But I don't do that kind of shit

1772
01:04:17,369 --> 01:04:19,530
anyway. But still Yeah. Like I know. At

1773
01:04:19,530 --> 01:04:20,989
least it did it wasn't confrontational.

1774
01:04:21,369 --> 01:04:23,710
No. No. It wasn't. You said your piece.

1775
01:04:23,769 --> 01:04:25,070
Yeah. He went well

1776
01:04:26,015 --> 01:04:28,094
like they do. Mhmm. And then he left

1777
01:04:28,094 --> 01:04:29,614
you the fuck alone. I bet we won't

1778
01:04:29,614 --> 01:04:31,375
see him come across the street for a

1779
01:04:31,375 --> 01:04:31,875
while.

1780
01:04:32,255 --> 01:04:32,755
Yeah.

1781
01:04:33,855 --> 01:04:34,355
Yeah.

1782
01:04:36,175 --> 01:04:38,015
But, yeah. That is pretty much what I've

1783
01:04:38,015 --> 01:04:40,329
been doing. Like I say, I'll I'll take

1784
01:04:40,329 --> 01:04:42,190
some pictures of the wood stacks.

1785
01:04:42,730 --> 01:04:45,289
Our our office and recording space is never

1786
01:04:45,289 --> 01:04:47,849
fully, like, really neat and organized. It's all

1787
01:04:47,929 --> 01:04:50,349
there's always a a bit of chaos somewhere.

1788
01:04:51,130 --> 01:04:52,909
It's every flat surface.

1789
01:04:53,914 --> 01:04:55,755
I mean, on my desk, I have a

1790
01:04:55,755 --> 01:04:57,514
paddle blank that needs me to template it

1791
01:04:57,514 --> 01:04:59,054
so I could pass it off to you

1792
01:04:59,275 --> 01:05:00,894
to cut so I could pour resin.

1793
01:05:01,275 --> 01:05:03,434
It's just been sitting there next to other

1794
01:05:03,434 --> 01:05:04,734
stacks I have.

1795
01:05:05,195 --> 01:05:07,369
Like, you can't see our printer because there

1796
01:05:07,369 --> 01:05:09,789
are stacks of wood on it. The credenza

1797
01:05:10,170 --> 01:05:12,489
behind the camera behind the light, the studio

1798
01:05:12,489 --> 01:05:13,230
light Mhmm.

1799
01:05:13,610 --> 01:05:15,130
Some of that's not even stacked up in

1800
01:05:15,130 --> 01:05:17,070
a straight line. My heart hurts

1801
01:05:17,690 --> 01:05:19,210
to And then there's the stuff on the

1802
01:05:19,210 --> 01:05:21,450
shipping set station. I know. My shipping station

1803
01:05:21,450 --> 01:05:23,344
is supposed to be that is where we

1804
01:05:23,344 --> 01:05:26,144
ship shit. That is where my supplies live

1805
01:05:26,144 --> 01:05:29,744
in nice little, like, rows. Not Yeah. Not

1806
01:05:29,744 --> 01:05:31,984
right now. Not right now at all. Nope.

1807
01:05:31,984 --> 01:05:34,545
No. Well, prior to this, it was all

1808
01:05:34,545 --> 01:05:36,130
on this table. It was. A lot of

1809
01:05:36,130 --> 01:05:37,250
it was on this table. Like about an

1810
01:05:37,250 --> 01:05:38,849
hour before it was time to sit down

1811
01:05:38,849 --> 01:05:40,610
in front of a microphone. So I had

1812
01:05:40,610 --> 01:05:41,670
to move all that.

1813
01:05:42,610 --> 01:05:45,409
Andre asked about Lola, how Lola is. Lola

1814
01:05:45,409 --> 01:05:48,375
is doing well. She's napping right now. She's

1815
01:05:48,375 --> 01:05:52,215
napping. She's napping right now. It seems to

1816
01:05:52,215 --> 01:05:55,755
be we have found the correct mix of

1817
01:05:55,815 --> 01:05:56,875
of pain meds

1818
01:05:57,175 --> 01:05:57,914
for her,

1819
01:05:59,335 --> 01:06:02,695
and she is doing well. She is moving

1820
01:06:02,695 --> 01:06:04,680
around. She has been more herself

1821
01:06:05,079 --> 01:06:05,900
Mhmm. Lately.

1822
01:06:06,599 --> 01:06:09,079
She's been up in my lap again. Yeah.

1823
01:06:09,079 --> 01:06:11,000
Oh, yeah. She cuddled with me after she

1824
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,880
dug her elbow into me first. But she's

1825
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:15,019
she's had zoomies

1826
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,179
a few times at night, and I mean

1827
01:06:17,344 --> 01:06:19,505
hard zoomies where she was body slamming me.

1828
01:06:19,505 --> 01:06:21,744
She's a big old girl. Any zoomie she's

1829
01:06:21,824 --> 01:06:23,025
gets don't be a little

1830
01:06:23,904 --> 01:06:26,545
True. You know? Same girl. Same. It's it's

1831
01:06:26,545 --> 01:06:28,085
a hell of a thing when you see

1832
01:06:28,385 --> 01:06:31,199
a 70 some pound dog charging at you

1833
01:06:31,359 --> 01:06:32,800
and you know you just gotta stand your

1834
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:35,280
ground. Thankfully, you know she likes you and

1835
01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:36,500
this is good charging.

1836
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:37,619
Right? Yeah.

1837
01:06:38,000 --> 01:06:40,159
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know,

1838
01:06:40,159 --> 01:06:42,239
and running at you and the tail's wagging

1839
01:06:42,239 --> 01:06:44,079
in the face, you know, pity grin and

1840
01:06:44,239 --> 01:06:45,855
But the jowls are still flopping.

1841
01:06:48,894 --> 01:06:50,414
She's a lot of things, but Graceful ain't

1842
01:06:50,414 --> 01:06:51,635
one of them. No.

1843
01:06:52,014 --> 01:06:54,034
No. No. No. Same girl. Same.

1844
01:06:54,574 --> 01:06:57,135
But, no, she's she's doing much she's doing

1845
01:06:57,135 --> 01:06:59,739
much better right now. So we're we're very

1846
01:06:59,739 --> 01:07:01,579
happy for that and, you know, it's nice

1847
01:07:01,579 --> 01:07:02,239
to see.

1848
01:07:02,619 --> 01:07:03,680
Mhmm. No.

1849
01:07:04,619 --> 01:07:06,860
Because even even, you know, the well, when

1850
01:07:06,860 --> 01:07:08,059
we were that well, I think it was

1851
01:07:08,059 --> 01:07:10,059
the eye doctor, the ophthalmologist when we were

1852
01:07:10,059 --> 01:07:11,820
there for the follow-up. Week. Yeah. You know,

1853
01:07:11,820 --> 01:07:14,000
he was like, she is so expressive.

1854
01:07:16,275 --> 01:07:18,195
Mhmm. Yeah. She is. But that means that

1855
01:07:18,195 --> 01:07:19,255
she is also expressive

1856
01:07:19,715 --> 01:07:22,295
when she thinks you're a damn fool. Right.

1857
01:07:23,155 --> 01:07:25,394
Like, when she just paces to the door

1858
01:07:25,394 --> 01:07:27,155
at the vet's office, like, here's the door.

1859
01:07:27,155 --> 01:07:28,514
I'm showing you the door. Let us go

1860
01:07:28,514 --> 01:07:29,795
through the door. And then she texted you,

1861
01:07:29,795 --> 01:07:31,199
like, do you not see me standing here

1862
01:07:31,199 --> 01:07:31,860
at the door?

1863
01:07:32,239 --> 01:07:34,559
She is expressive in all in all of

1864
01:07:34,559 --> 01:07:35,300
her emotions

1865
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:36,420
Mhmm.

1866
01:07:36,719 --> 01:07:38,719
And thoughts and opinions. And,

1867
01:07:39,199 --> 01:07:41,039
you know, just for a a nerdy little

1868
01:07:41,039 --> 01:07:43,519
funny, this week, I I made a a

1869
01:07:43,519 --> 01:07:44,099
a big,

1870
01:07:46,505 --> 01:07:47,005
milestone.

1871
01:07:48,984 --> 01:07:50,764
Killed my first Terraria boss.

1872
01:07:52,264 --> 01:07:54,505
And we're so happy for him here in

1873
01:07:54,505 --> 01:07:55,164
our household.

1874
01:07:56,744 --> 01:07:57,724
There were celebrations

1875
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:00,139
lasted into the wee hours

1876
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:02,599
after he explained to me what the fuck

1877
01:08:02,599 --> 01:08:03,339
that meant.

1878
01:08:03,960 --> 01:08:04,859
But the youngest

1879
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:08,359
was very was genuinely impressed. Yeah. I didn't

1880
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:10,125
I couldn't tell if it was the

1881
01:08:10,525 --> 01:08:12,364
impressed of somebody who used to play that

1882
01:08:12,364 --> 01:08:13,264
game and know

1883
01:08:13,565 --> 01:08:15,965
understood what that meant or Mhmm. Or if

1884
01:08:15,965 --> 01:08:17,904
it was the condescension of a teenager

1885
01:08:18,284 --> 01:08:18,784
going,

1886
01:08:19,404 --> 01:08:22,864
aw, look at you. Right. Old person,

1887
01:08:23,359 --> 01:08:26,559
You did it. Yeah. Still not sure. Still

1888
01:08:26,559 --> 01:08:27,699
not sure. Mhmm.

1889
01:08:29,439 --> 01:08:31,199
Yes. It was the eye. The eye of

1890
01:08:31,199 --> 01:08:31,699
Cthulhu.

1891
01:08:33,760 --> 01:08:36,000
And now the now folks in the live

1892
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:37,895
chat, no if you are if you are

1893
01:08:37,895 --> 01:08:39,814
listening to this and you're like, what the

1894
01:08:39,814 --> 01:08:42,055
fuck are they talking about? Welcome. You're on

1895
01:08:42,055 --> 01:08:43,835
my side of things.

1896
01:08:44,534 --> 01:08:46,454
I just smile and nod. No. It was

1897
01:08:46,454 --> 01:08:48,295
it was the I. It was definitely the

1898
01:08:48,295 --> 01:08:48,795
I.

1899
01:08:49,300 --> 01:08:51,939
And, Now there's a debate in the lives.

1900
01:08:51,939 --> 01:08:54,180
Yeah. No. It it was definitely the I.

1901
01:08:54,180 --> 01:08:56,739
You're like, I remember that shit. And and

1902
01:08:56,739 --> 01:08:57,720
I know that because

1903
01:08:58,180 --> 01:09:00,500
kicked my ass twice before I kicked its

1904
01:09:00,500 --> 01:09:01,000
ass.

1905
01:09:10,664 --> 01:09:12,425
That's what JB does in his spare time.

1906
01:09:12,425 --> 01:09:14,125
In my spare time, I read

1907
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,739
moderately decent Yeah. Time,

1908
01:09:18,840 --> 01:09:19,900
to escape reality.

1909
01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:24,940
I I just cracked a hundred hours x

1910
01:09:25,880 --> 01:09:26,699
in the game.

1911
01:09:30,175 --> 01:09:32,094
And we are so happy for you. There

1912
01:09:32,094 --> 01:09:32,755
you go.

1913
01:09:33,215 --> 01:09:35,554
Everybody, you know Right? As they should be.

1914
01:09:35,774 --> 01:09:37,614
Yes. Serfs have goals in life and, you

1915
01:09:37,614 --> 01:09:40,435
know Mhmm. Have fun Right. Relax.

1916
01:09:41,054 --> 01:09:41,875
Mhmm. Mhmm.

1917
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:44,980
I wanna I I want it noted though.

1918
01:09:46,079 --> 01:09:48,500
Am I being sarcastic and snarky? Of course.

1919
01:09:48,720 --> 01:09:50,640
I have I don't give a fuck how

1920
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:53,140
much time JB spends playing his computer games

1921
01:09:53,199 --> 01:09:55,854
because he does participate actively in his life.

1922
01:09:55,854 --> 01:09:57,614
And so it's not it's not one of

1923
01:09:57,614 --> 01:10:00,034
those situations, like, from my first marriage.

1924
01:10:00,414 --> 01:10:02,194
But I I just wanna say,

1925
01:10:03,534 --> 01:10:04,914
I am verbally

1926
01:10:06,175 --> 01:10:07,314
way more enthusiastic

1927
01:10:07,774 --> 01:10:09,074
for JB's wins

1928
01:10:10,110 --> 01:10:12,670
than he has been lately when I've tried

1929
01:10:12,670 --> 01:10:13,409
to explain

1930
01:10:13,949 --> 01:10:15,170
the smutty smut.

1931
01:10:15,949 --> 01:10:16,449
I

1932
01:10:20,030 --> 01:10:21,944
at least try to hide that my eyes

1933
01:10:21,944 --> 01:10:22,925
are glazing over.

1934
01:10:25,145 --> 01:10:27,465
I I I never I've I have never

1935
01:10:27,465 --> 01:10:30,364
been able to to master that look. Okay?

1936
01:10:30,824 --> 01:10:32,444
Nope. You know, I

1937
01:10:32,824 --> 01:10:35,224
I I freely admit it. You know. You

1938
01:10:35,224 --> 01:10:37,529
know. My favorite is because so

1939
01:10:37,989 --> 01:10:40,789
I recognize usually after I spend five minutes

1940
01:10:40,789 --> 01:10:42,550
giving the backstory just to talk about the

1941
01:10:42,550 --> 01:10:44,469
one funny thing that just happened, that I

1942
01:10:44,469 --> 01:10:46,710
probably could just say the funny thing and

1943
01:10:46,710 --> 01:10:48,550
it'd be funny enough on its own that

1944
01:10:48,550 --> 01:10:49,689
he'd get the context.

1945
01:10:50,284 --> 01:10:52,125
But I don't live like that. So if

1946
01:10:52,125 --> 01:10:54,364
I gotta tell you about this moment in

1947
01:10:54,364 --> 01:10:56,704
this book that had me literally cackling

1948
01:10:57,085 --> 01:10:59,185
in laughter, it was so funny.

1949
01:11:00,284 --> 01:11:02,125
Whether well written or just perfect for the

1950
01:11:02,125 --> 01:11:04,204
book or whatever, whatever. I'm sorry. You're gonna

1951
01:11:04,204 --> 01:11:06,229
have to listen to who these people are

1952
01:11:06,449 --> 01:11:08,770
in this universe and how this all comes

1953
01:11:08,770 --> 01:11:09,270
together.

1954
01:11:11,409 --> 01:11:14,050
But I only tell him those those stories

1955
01:11:14,050 --> 01:11:15,329
because I don't do it with every fucking

1956
01:11:15,329 --> 01:11:16,929
book. Some books, I'm just like, why did

1957
01:11:16,929 --> 01:11:17,774
I start this?

1958
01:11:18,335 --> 01:11:20,494
Fuck it. I'll try to finish it. Something

1959
01:11:20,494 --> 01:11:21,854
will be good about this. That was the

1960
01:11:21,854 --> 01:11:23,554
last two books I read. I'm very disappointed.

1961
01:11:25,454 --> 01:11:27,054
But I tell him those things because I'm

1962
01:11:27,054 --> 01:11:28,975
like, well maybe he will want to read

1963
01:11:28,975 --> 01:11:31,079
it too because this is how good it

1964
01:11:31,079 --> 01:11:32,060
is. And mostly,

1965
01:11:32,439 --> 01:11:35,079
he's like, how many partners does this bitch

1966
01:11:35,079 --> 01:11:36,780
in the story have? Right.

1967
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:40,760
Can can you actually fuck that many people

1968
01:11:40,760 --> 01:11:42,840
at one time? There's not enough holes. That

1969
01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:44,744
was the one with the Cupid. Right? Oh,

1970
01:11:44,744 --> 01:11:46,425
that one was really good. I do have

1971
01:11:47,145 --> 01:11:49,064
that's really good. I've done it with a

1972
01:11:49,064 --> 01:11:51,385
few and you're just like, I do sometimes

1973
01:11:51,385 --> 01:11:52,904
think I can see you trying to do

1974
01:11:52,904 --> 01:11:54,904
the mental calculus of how are all these

1975
01:11:54,904 --> 01:11:57,704
people fitting together. Right. My favorite, was it

1976
01:11:57,704 --> 01:11:58,364
the Cupid

1977
01:11:59,279 --> 01:12:01,199
book? It was one of those series that

1978
01:12:01,199 --> 01:12:02,420
I've finished recently.

1979
01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:05,039
They basically just ran a train. It was

1980
01:12:05,039 --> 01:12:07,279
like three men who all were fucking each

1981
01:12:07,279 --> 01:12:08,179
other too and

1982
01:12:08,719 --> 01:12:10,579
their female main character, and

1983
01:12:10,994 --> 01:12:11,895
they would just

1984
01:12:12,274 --> 01:12:13,954
kinda back up into one another if you

1985
01:12:13,954 --> 01:12:15,795
know what I mean. It was it was

1986
01:12:15,795 --> 01:12:16,295
great.

1987
01:12:17,555 --> 01:12:20,055
I am a little tired of magic,

1988
01:12:22,034 --> 01:12:23,655
buttholes that just

1989
01:12:25,074 --> 01:12:28,520
spread and stretch with minimal lubrication.

1990
01:12:29,460 --> 01:12:32,979
No experience in those are magic booty holes.

1991
01:12:32,979 --> 01:12:33,479
Okay?

1992
01:12:34,340 --> 01:12:36,739
I don't possess one of them. Most people

1993
01:12:36,739 --> 01:12:37,560
don't. But

1994
01:12:37,939 --> 01:12:40,614
so sometimes I get very annoyed by the

1995
01:12:40,614 --> 01:12:43,694
magic asshole that just stretches. Like just Okay.

1996
01:12:44,054 --> 01:12:46,635
Can fill it with, like, whatever. It doesn't

1997
01:12:47,094 --> 01:12:49,414
matter. And sometimes I like the book or

1998
01:12:49,414 --> 01:12:51,175
the story or the author has done a

1999
01:12:51,175 --> 01:12:52,534
good enough job that I'm like, you know

2000
01:12:52,534 --> 01:12:55,390
what? I'll forgive it because this is fantasy

2001
01:12:55,530 --> 01:12:56,510
and in fantasy

2002
01:12:56,970 --> 01:12:58,110
there's no shit.

2003
01:12:58,970 --> 01:13:01,610
There's very little need for lube and it

2004
01:13:01,610 --> 01:13:03,449
just works right the first fucking time you

2005
01:13:03,449 --> 01:13:04,110
do anal.

2006
01:13:05,289 --> 01:13:06,890
I'll go with it. I'll go with it.

2007
01:13:06,890 --> 01:13:07,630
But sometimes

2008
01:13:08,145 --> 01:13:09,364
sometimes I'm just like,

2009
01:13:10,064 --> 01:13:12,005
that's a lot of magic assholes.

2010
01:13:12,465 --> 01:13:14,564
So many. Everybody's got a magic asshole.

2011
01:13:19,104 --> 01:13:20,564
I mean and and

2012
01:13:21,184 --> 01:13:23,024
there are some authors that prove that you

2013
01:13:23,024 --> 01:13:23,399
can

2014
01:13:24,359 --> 01:13:26,920
do the anal training with the the toys

2015
01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:28,679
or the time or the whatever and make

2016
01:13:28,679 --> 01:13:31,500
it fucking sexy and certainly make it kinky.

2017
01:13:31,880 --> 01:13:34,359
I've enjoyed reading that but that's not the

2018
01:13:34,359 --> 01:13:36,460
norm. The norm is a magic asshole.

2019
01:13:38,920 --> 01:13:40,895
It's a little bit apparently like a Tardis.

2020
01:13:41,034 --> 01:13:41,534
Yeah.

2021
01:13:42,154 --> 01:13:44,554
I don't know. Because and some of these

2022
01:13:44,554 --> 01:13:45,694
people, like

2023
01:13:46,554 --> 01:13:48,255
they also have magic vaginas

2024
01:13:48,795 --> 01:13:50,875
because I just read a dragon shifter one

2025
01:13:50,875 --> 01:13:52,750
where was the dragon shifter or was it

2026
01:13:52,750 --> 01:13:54,510
another one? I they all get kind of

2027
01:13:54,510 --> 01:13:55,649
confused in my head.

2028
01:13:56,909 --> 01:13:58,350
No. It wasn't the dragon shifter. It was

2029
01:13:58,350 --> 01:14:00,030
somebody else. It was some because there was

2030
01:14:00,030 --> 01:14:00,530
multiple

2031
01:14:00,989 --> 01:14:03,949
multiple dicks to choose from and one was

2032
01:14:03,949 --> 01:14:07,435
like this massive, like, the size of a

2033
01:14:07,435 --> 01:14:07,935
forearm.

2034
01:14:09,595 --> 01:14:12,395
Looked like literally described. Looked like a third

2035
01:14:12,395 --> 01:14:14,175
leg. And it

2036
01:14:14,795 --> 01:14:17,435
just went in just fine the first fucking

2037
01:14:17,435 --> 01:14:17,935
time.

2038
01:14:18,979 --> 01:14:21,319
Didn't rearrange the guts or anything.

2039
01:14:23,060 --> 01:14:23,560
Just

2040
01:14:26,819 --> 01:14:28,899
And Amorta Abe wanted to know what,

2041
01:14:29,460 --> 01:14:31,619
what book that was. I wish my memory

2042
01:14:31,619 --> 01:14:34,385
is so shit. I track my books on

2043
01:14:34,385 --> 01:14:35,045
the Fable

2044
01:14:35,585 --> 01:14:37,744
app these days. I think I have that,

2045
01:14:37,744 --> 01:14:40,385
like, whatever if it can be publicly available.

2046
01:14:40,385 --> 01:14:42,145
It is. I don't remember. I don't do

2047
01:14:42,145 --> 01:14:43,125
Goodreads anymore.

2048
01:14:44,545 --> 01:14:45,765
Kim in the live chat,

2049
01:14:46,704 --> 01:14:47,204
mentioned

2050
01:14:47,599 --> 01:14:48,099
Emily

2051
01:14:48,399 --> 01:14:49,840
Raith Raff. I don't know how to say

2052
01:14:49,840 --> 01:14:52,239
her name. I believe I've read some of

2053
01:14:52,239 --> 01:14:54,479
her books. There was somebody. Oh, and I

2054
01:14:54,479 --> 01:14:55,300
can't remember

2055
01:14:56,880 --> 01:14:57,380
the

2056
01:14:57,920 --> 01:14:59,520
author. It might have been that author. It

2057
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:01,039
might have been somebody else. This is ages

2058
01:15:01,039 --> 01:15:02,179
ago. It was not recent.

2059
01:15:03,005 --> 01:15:04,465
The magic system

2060
01:15:06,204 --> 01:15:07,185
allowed for

2061
01:15:08,364 --> 01:15:09,585
magically lubricating

2062
01:15:10,045 --> 01:15:11,505
everything that needed to be lubricated.

2063
01:15:12,364 --> 01:15:14,145
And the dick was so powerful.

2064
01:15:14,810 --> 01:15:15,310
It

2065
01:15:15,610 --> 01:15:17,449
this was in the world. This was the

2066
01:15:17,449 --> 01:15:18,190
world building.

2067
01:15:18,810 --> 01:15:21,130
The dick was so powerful. The the asshole

2068
01:15:21,130 --> 01:15:21,869
never hurt.

2069
01:15:22,409 --> 01:15:25,690
Everything fit every time easily. But it was

2070
01:15:25,690 --> 01:15:27,390
built into the system. It accommodated.

2071
01:15:27,770 --> 01:15:29,289
It was built into the system. And I

2072
01:15:29,289 --> 01:15:31,494
was like, okay. Okay. I'll go with that.

2073
01:15:31,494 --> 01:15:33,095
If that's part of the magic of this

2074
01:15:33,095 --> 01:15:35,114
world, cool cool cool cool. Like

2075
01:15:35,494 --> 01:15:36,395
my orc

2076
01:15:36,774 --> 01:15:38,234
series that I've read

2077
01:15:39,175 --> 01:15:39,675
where

2078
01:15:41,015 --> 01:15:42,715
the orc men

2079
01:15:43,664 --> 01:15:44,164
when

2080
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:46,139
this It's a very heteronormative

2081
01:15:46,599 --> 01:15:48,300
world. I've not seen any

2082
01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:51,099
not straight couples but

2083
01:15:52,199 --> 01:15:53,659
the orc's dick

2084
01:15:54,119 --> 01:15:54,619
magically

2085
01:15:55,000 --> 01:15:55,500
changes

2086
01:15:56,744 --> 01:15:58,045
to provide

2087
01:15:58,824 --> 01:16:00,585
the the woman's stim

2088
01:16:01,145 --> 01:16:04,204
preferred stimulation. So in this world, it was

2089
01:16:04,425 --> 01:16:06,185
orc men who were meeting humans and they'd

2090
01:16:06,185 --> 01:16:08,604
never come across humans before. And these humans

2091
01:16:08,904 --> 01:16:11,850
owned vibrators, and so their dick would change

2092
01:16:11,850 --> 01:16:13,229
to like the rose,

2093
01:16:14,250 --> 01:16:15,070
the Hitachi,

2094
01:16:16,890 --> 01:16:18,510
the anal beads like this.

2095
01:16:18,890 --> 01:16:19,390
Wow.

2096
01:16:20,010 --> 01:16:21,850
But you know what? I'll forget that when

2097
01:16:21,850 --> 01:16:22,750
it's built in.

2098
01:16:23,289 --> 01:16:25,470
When it's like it's it's consistent

2099
01:16:27,895 --> 01:16:29,515
and is it? I mean,

2100
01:16:30,774 --> 01:16:32,694
is it hilarious and a little bit like,

2101
01:16:32,694 --> 01:16:34,314
what the fuck am I reading? Sure.

2102
01:16:34,694 --> 01:16:36,454
That one was fun because that was like

2103
01:16:36,454 --> 01:16:38,234
a cozy kind of series. Like,

2104
01:16:38,560 --> 01:16:40,079
yeah, there was some stuff like, no, they

2105
01:16:40,079 --> 01:16:42,399
had to find a body. But, yeah, you

2106
01:16:42,399 --> 01:16:43,639
you knew what you were getting every time.

2107
01:16:43,639 --> 01:16:45,619
It was very formulaic in a good way,

2108
01:16:46,800 --> 01:16:48,719
but magic dicks on these orcs. And I

2109
01:16:48,719 --> 01:16:49,619
was like, okay.

2110
01:16:53,039 --> 01:16:53,895
So anyway,

2111
01:16:58,774 --> 01:17:00,534
I'm so sorry for anybody who's like, I

2112
01:17:00,534 --> 01:17:01,994
did not sign up

2113
01:17:02,454 --> 01:17:04,074
to hear about magic dicks.

2114
01:17:06,295 --> 01:17:08,314
This is why sometimes I think I should

2115
01:17:08,534 --> 01:17:11,380
have a a space or a way or

2116
01:17:11,380 --> 01:17:12,840
a thing to talk about

2117
01:17:13,380 --> 01:17:14,840
some of the shit I read,

2118
01:17:15,460 --> 01:17:16,819
but I don't know that I can just

2119
01:17:16,819 --> 01:17:18,739
do that casually. I will treat that like

2120
01:17:18,739 --> 01:17:20,260
work and then that becomes pressure and then

2121
01:17:20,260 --> 01:17:21,639
I don't wanna do it anymore.

2122
01:17:22,604 --> 01:17:23,885
And I don't like that either. I don't

2123
01:17:23,885 --> 01:17:25,024
know what to do about that.

2124
01:17:27,164 --> 01:17:27,664
But

2125
01:17:29,645 --> 01:17:30,864
nope. Anyhoo.

2126
01:17:34,204 --> 01:17:34,704
Yeah.

2127
01:17:36,444 --> 01:17:37,185
You're okay.

2128
01:17:38,140 --> 01:17:39,119
I I guess

2129
01:17:40,939 --> 01:17:42,859
I guess we could be done with whatever

2130
01:17:42,859 --> 01:17:44,960
the fuck this is, though. But I've,

2131
01:17:45,340 --> 01:17:46,000
you know,

2132
01:17:46,460 --> 01:17:47,840
completely gotten us demonetized

2133
01:17:48,140 --> 01:17:50,000
by talking about magical assholes.

2134
01:17:52,345 --> 01:17:55,145
But And shape shifting dicks. I mean, I'm

2135
01:17:55,145 --> 01:17:57,244
not I'm not mad at that idea.

2136
01:17:58,024 --> 01:17:59,704
A dick that can shape shift to be,

2137
01:17:59,704 --> 01:18:00,845
like, the perfect

2138
01:18:01,305 --> 01:18:03,484
version of whatever a partner needs,

2139
01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:07,479
I'm cool. Also in the that one, that

2140
01:18:07,479 --> 01:18:09,180
orc fantasy series,

2141
01:18:10,119 --> 01:18:12,220
their come was an aphrodisiac

2142
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:13,100
and

2143
01:18:13,880 --> 01:18:15,340
smelled and tasted like

2144
01:18:16,119 --> 01:18:17,885
candy or like sweet, like

2145
01:18:18,585 --> 01:18:20,984
and it was magical. Like, it got on

2146
01:18:20,984 --> 01:18:22,984
your skin. You were immediately ready to go

2147
01:18:22,984 --> 01:18:24,045
again. It was Cracked.

2148
01:18:24,984 --> 01:18:26,045
Maybe so.

2149
01:18:27,064 --> 01:18:28,125
Maybe so.

2150
01:18:29,465 --> 01:18:30,045
Maybe so.

2151
01:18:34,960 --> 01:18:37,300
So now that I'm mildly embarrassed at myself

2152
01:18:38,720 --> 01:18:40,079
Are you ready to call it a night?

2153
01:18:40,079 --> 01:18:43,545
Yeah. Oh, yeah. We need to. Yeah. Yeah.

2154
01:18:44,744 --> 01:18:46,425
We have a couple things to do. We

2155
01:18:46,425 --> 01:18:47,944
do. We do. I'm very excited about some

2156
01:18:47,944 --> 01:18:49,545
of those things. Mhmm. Thank you all for

2157
01:18:49,545 --> 01:18:51,304
being here. Mhmm. Especially to the better end.

2158
01:18:51,304 --> 01:18:53,404
Yep. Please don't forget to go,

2159
01:18:54,344 --> 01:18:55,484
enter our

2160
01:18:55,864 --> 01:18:57,864
anniversary giveaway if you have not already done

2161
01:18:57,864 --> 01:18:58,364
so.

2162
01:18:59,750 --> 01:19:01,270
And, yeah, I guess we will talk to

2163
01:19:01,270 --> 01:19:04,090
y'all next week. Mhmm. Okay. Alright. Bye. Bye.