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You're listening to Living BDSM podcast episode four

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forty five. Kayla Lords here with the one,

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the only,

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the man who has,

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shown a lot of patience towards our streaming

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setup today, John Brownstone.

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Yeah.

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Even after learning that yet another thing can

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only be accessed on a subscription service.

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I I truly at some point, I feel

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like, you know, the ability to breathe oxygen,

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that's gonna be $4.99

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a month. Yeah. Everything is on a subscription.

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Well, yeah. It it was frustrating because,

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you know, this

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utility

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to do what we do, which helped do

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what we do

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for years

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and years

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has just been a downloadable utility. You go

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to to the website and you download the

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utility and boom, you're doing

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they've taken all the

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downloads away Mhmm. And now there is only

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the paid

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subscription. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Anyhoo. That's in no way what we're talking

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about, but if we get a JB rant

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out of this week's episode, that will have

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a little bit to do with it. Just

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I'm just saying.

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This week, we're actually gonna do a topic

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that came up in conversation in our Discord

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server Mhmm. That got a lot of people

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talking, got JB thinking. And then, you know,

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when I went, oh, yeah. Let me, like,

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pay attention. I started thinking, and next thing

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you know, here we are.

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Do do I know what I'm gonna say

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yet? No. I'm gonna be actively thinking through

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this in real time into a microphone.

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So this will be interesting. Mhmm. Welcome to

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the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your

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first time listening, glad to have you. If

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you're back for another week, welcome back. Loving

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BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky

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pleasure and education, and show notes are found

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at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC. The PC stands for podcast.

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On Instagram and technically threads,

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that handle I will forever

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fucking

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hate.

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It's loving d s and the number one.

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So it's at loving d s one, and

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it pisses me off every time. And there's

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lore about it. If you're new here, there

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is lore,

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on blue sky, at lovingbdsm.bsky.social.

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But if you just search lovingbdsm, we'll come

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right on up.

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Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm,

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where you can watch us livestream the podcast

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every Wednesday. All links are in the show

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notes.

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A big thanks, as we always like to

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do, to our kinky patrons, not just for

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their support, not just for being in community

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if you would like to apparently know what

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the topics are gonna be before we do,

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participate in the conversations like that, be part

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of our community,

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help us keep being weirdos on the Internet.

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You can do that through our Patreon, patreon.com/kaylalords.

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You get access to the Discord server, you

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get access to a behind the scenes podcast

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episode every month where we talk about what's

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going on in our relationship.

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The most recent episode of which talked gave

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spoilers for, like, a thing we'll talk about

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in the future, which is our use of

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the Obedience app.

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So, yeah. You can join for as little

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as $2 a month.

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You'll find all the information at patreon.com/kaylalords

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or the link is in the show notes.

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Okay. Before we get into our topic,

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an announcement.

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If you are on our email list, you

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will hopefully have heard this already and you

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will hear it many times

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again. We

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this thing, it came out last year and

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we talked about it and I know a

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lot of y'all signed up for it. It

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is back this year. It's called Jumpstart Your

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BDSM Journey. It's a BDSM

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air quote boot camp,

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that is,

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educational workshops, four days, absolutely free, all online,

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put on through, DomSub Living. Alessandra is the

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one, I think with her partner,

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who's doing all of the classes this time.

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This is different from the summit we did

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a few months ago where we had a

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class. This is all Dom Sub Living, but

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it's four days, absolutely free. The whole kind

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of point you know how we talk about

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how we want you to have a happier,

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healthier power exchange and that there's lots of

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ways to get there.

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This is some of, like, kind of the

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beginning stuff of, like, figuring out what you

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want and how is it gonna fit into

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your life and how you can gain confidence

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in yourself as a kinkster so that this

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can be a part of your life if

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that's how you wanna do it.

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So the link is in the places,

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absolutely free. One of the things I love

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about Alessandra over at Domestud Living is when

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she

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puts on a free thing, whether it's just

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her by herself or we collaborate with a

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whole bunch of other educators and creators, her

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whole point is, yeah, it's free, but it

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still has to be actionable. It has to

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be, like, worth the time. It's not the

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direct, hey, I'm gonna give you, like, surface

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level information that doesn't actually change your life.

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You could have gotten that through a Google

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search. And then here's a sales pitch at

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the end. It's, like, legit

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educational content for four days.

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Full disclosure. At some point in it, of

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course, there is a sales pitch, but for

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free, you will get the information

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that you want. You'll get plenty of actual

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information.

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Don't have to spend a dime. So that

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starts July 14. There's, like, two weeks to

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sign up. We're gonna be talking about it

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until there's no more time to sign up.

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So if that's your thing, if you did

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it before, you found it helpful, if you're

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at this point in your BDSM life and

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you're like, yeah. I could use that, feel

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free to check it out.

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Yeah. Link in the places.

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That's the thing.

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Okay. This week's topic,

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huge,

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massive thanks to Princess Rara Mhmm. Of Pink

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Kink podcast,

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who brought this discussion into our Discord and

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went, oh, I've been having conversations about this.

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I wanna know what y'all think. And then

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I slid into her DMs today and went,

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is it okay with you if I use

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this as a topic? Because

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there's

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some thoughts popping up. Mhmm. And she's very

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gracious. If you are not aware of the

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Pinky King podcast, if that's not one you've

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listened to yet, link is in the places.

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Go check out their podcast.

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First of all,

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there are people who know what the hell

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they're talking about, so you're gonna get good

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information. But what I really like is,

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Rah Rah and,

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Dara, they

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what am I trying to say? Words Swiss

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cheese brain. They talk more about kinks than

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we do. Like, we get a lot of

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people who are like, can you talk about,

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like, a specific kink or kink activity or

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fucker or scenes? And I'm like,

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we're more of the relationship

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communication people. That's kind of our jam. For

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the kink education, definitely, definitely check out Pink

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Ink podcast. Mhmm. And thank you to RahRah

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for bringing this topic to our attention and

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for being like, yeah. Sure. Let's freaking talk

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about this. Also,

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you will probably see this come

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up in other future episodes that are not

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us. I'm just saying, I don't wanna give

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spoilers away because that's not my job. Okay.

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So

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what I wanna do

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before we talk. Right? Mhmm. I want to

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share

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the situation that Ra Ra shared

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asked, and then we can kinda talk about

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it because Okay. It's very philosophical.

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It's very interesting conversation. It can go all

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kinds

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places. So this was the the situation that

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Ra Ra shared with us.

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Atop posted that she did electro play on

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someone with a pacemaker.

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The Top joked that the Bottom almost died

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but it was worth it because the Bottom

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was hot.

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And she claims that the bottom asked for

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it.

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Electroplague can short circuit a pacemaker

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causing it to malfunction and or fail, which

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is Mhmm. Potentially life threatening for said person

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with said pacemaker,

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just if you didn't

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know. So the questions that Rara brought up

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in the conversation is like, is there ever

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a point where even if both people fully

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consent, the risk is too great and the

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scene just shouldn't happen?

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And if so, who gets to make that

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call? Can a community or dungeon decide that

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some kinks are too dangerous,

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or is that crossing a line into policing

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personal

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autonomy?

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Deep philosophical

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questions

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about ethics

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and morals and responsibility.

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Yep.

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So

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where would you like to start? Y'all are

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gonna get my thoughts in real time because

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I have not actively

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talked through any of this. We'll find out

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what I think together. Well,

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you know,

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it to to me,

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they crossed the line.

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Mhmm. Okay.

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It it's kinda like the thing

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with,

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erotic fixation.

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Asphyxiation?

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Yes. Thank you. Right.

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You know,

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you talk about edge play.

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Yeah. And for

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somebody who might not be aware of what

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edge play is, it is not edging as

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play, which is a thing you can do.

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But edge play is the kind of play

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where you are playing on the edge. Extreme.

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Like, it Yeah. Extreme to the point that

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it can be life threatening. So electro play

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with a pacemaker?

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Mhmm. I mean, to me, I I think

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it's a no go, but, yeah, maybe. To

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to me, in

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in my opinion, that is crossing a line.

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From the top's perspective, sure. Yeah. Certainly. The

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the responsibility

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of a top Right. To, like,

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actively try to be as risk Mhmm.

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Free as possible. You know, one, a top

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has the option

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to observe the boundaries Right. And limits.

271
00:10:05,774 --> 00:10:06,274
Okay?

272
00:10:06,975 --> 00:10:07,294
But,

273
00:10:09,029 --> 00:10:10,809
you know, this this kind of thing

274
00:10:11,350 --> 00:10:12,730
and I and I know,

275
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:15,850
you know, people are going to people.

276
00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:17,209
Always.

277
00:10:17,509 --> 00:10:18,009
Mhmm.

278
00:10:18,709 --> 00:10:20,330
And and, you know,

279
00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:23,045
you you see it. You put stuff in

280
00:10:23,045 --> 00:10:25,524
the newsletter. Things that happen Yeah. Don't become

281
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:26,884
a headline for your

282
00:10:27,524 --> 00:10:28,345
the tabloid,

283
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:32,565
newspapers in your country of origin. You don't

284
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,870
want that. I I and to me, the

285
00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,809
thing that hit me the most

286
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,470
in this was that was because they were

287
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:40,970
hot.

288
00:10:41,669 --> 00:10:43,029
You know, I'd be curious. I kind of

289
00:10:43,029 --> 00:10:45,269
wish I knew the full context because was

290
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:46,870
that a joke or was that done in

291
00:10:46,870 --> 00:10:47,294
seriousness?

292
00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:50,108
I know. You know, when I'm not being

293
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,534
charitable, I'm gonna be like, oh, whether it

294
00:10:51,534 --> 00:10:53,954
was a joke or not, that's really, like,

295
00:10:54,815 --> 00:10:56,894
no. It's distasteful, but maybe they didn't mean

296
00:10:56,894 --> 00:10:59,475
it that way. But Mhmm. At first glance,

297
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,554
it minimum is a little distasteful.

298
00:11:02,470 --> 00:11:05,210
Yeah. Let alone that it might be fully

299
00:11:05,269 --> 00:11:05,769
irresponsible.

300
00:11:06,309 --> 00:11:08,090
So, you know, to me,

301
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,110
in in all this, it would have been

302
00:11:11,269 --> 00:11:14,090
it should have been Mhmm. The top's responsibility

303
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:17,865
to say no. Right. Right. Like No. We

304
00:11:17,865 --> 00:11:20,184
we, you know, we not gonna do this.

305
00:11:20,184 --> 00:11:22,184
Like, I get you. You might be interested.

306
00:11:22,184 --> 00:11:24,105
You know, maybe it's, like, kind of a

307
00:11:24,105 --> 00:11:26,824
hot scary idea. Mhmm. What I would also

308
00:11:26,824 --> 00:11:30,024
be interested in is who suggested it? Who

309
00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:30,539
brought it

310
00:11:31,179 --> 00:11:33,519
up, you know? Mhmm. Because that then tells

311
00:11:33,899 --> 00:11:35,579
you even more potentially about that top or

312
00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:37,100
Right. If a dom out there is doing

313
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,159
something like that.

314
00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:40,620
Now here's the thing, and this is part

315
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:41,839
of the question of,

316
00:11:42,697 --> 00:11:44,534
like, does the community or the dungeon or

317
00:11:44,534 --> 00:11:46,054
the whatever kinda get a say, can they

318
00:11:46,054 --> 00:11:48,875
step in? That's the real thing because

319
00:11:49,735 --> 00:11:51,894
who the fuck knows what's happening behind closed

320
00:11:51,894 --> 00:11:53,115
doors? And

321
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,074
none of us have any control over what

322
00:11:56,214 --> 00:11:59,040
people are doing in a private space where

323
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,660
nobody is witnessing. Now

324
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,759
hopefully somebody would have gone to their Discord

325
00:12:03,759 --> 00:12:05,120
server and been like, oh my god. I

326
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:06,399
just had this scene and here's how it

327
00:12:06,399 --> 00:12:08,080
went. And then people could educate them and

328
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,879
be like, you nearly killed somebody. What the

329
00:12:10,879 --> 00:12:12,180
fuck are you doing? Right?

330
00:12:13,394 --> 00:12:13,894
So

331
00:12:14,595 --> 00:12:15,414
knowing that,

332
00:12:16,115 --> 00:12:18,115
I do think that's a harder thing to

333
00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,875
and I wanna use the term police, but

334
00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:22,834
to sort of oversee. Now a dungeon, a

335
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:23,575
play party,

336
00:12:24,195 --> 00:12:25,894
I think you get a lot more leeway

337
00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:28,389
because the people who own that space, who

338
00:12:28,389 --> 00:12:31,110
are responsible for that space, get to set

339
00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:33,350
rules. And as long as they communicate those

340
00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:36,309
rules, so everybody has an opportunity to, you

341
00:12:36,309 --> 00:12:38,149
know, play within them, abide by them, or

342
00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:40,389
choose to leave because they don't want want

343
00:12:40,389 --> 00:12:43,029
to. Right. You know, I think that I

344
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:43,529
think,

345
00:12:44,075 --> 00:12:44,575
personally,

346
00:12:45,195 --> 00:12:46,815
I would not be uncomfortable

347
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,715
with a a dungeon monitor, a host of

348
00:12:50,715 --> 00:12:52,014
a play party, or whoever

349
00:12:52,475 --> 00:12:53,934
stepping into a scene

350
00:12:54,394 --> 00:12:56,315
to go, you are not Mhmm. This is

351
00:12:56,315 --> 00:12:59,289
not just, yeah, all BDSM is risky. This

352
00:12:59,289 --> 00:12:59,789
is

353
00:13:01,209 --> 00:13:04,909
actively life threatening if you or active harm.

354
00:13:05,769 --> 00:13:07,470
The thing you and I were talking about

355
00:13:07,689 --> 00:13:08,669
earlier about

356
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:12,365
the difference between all kink has risks. There's

357
00:13:12,365 --> 00:13:15,644
no such thing as safety, full safety, no

358
00:13:15,644 --> 00:13:17,404
risks in kink. All of it's all of

359
00:13:17,404 --> 00:13:18,065
it's risky

360
00:13:18,445 --> 00:13:18,945
versus

361
00:13:19,485 --> 00:13:22,125
that specific action you are taking has a

362
00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:23,105
such a high

363
00:13:24,339 --> 00:13:26,980
chance of risk and real danger that it

364
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,620
is literally actively on the don't list when

365
00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:32,279
somebody teaches you how to do this activity.

366
00:13:32,339 --> 00:13:34,019
True. True. It is the thing you're not

367
00:13:34,019 --> 00:13:36,500
supposed to do. People who know better will

368
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:38,585
tell you. That kind of high risk. And

369
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:41,304
there there's difference between And, you know, the

370
00:13:41,304 --> 00:13:42,445
the dungeons absolutely.

371
00:13:43,625 --> 00:13:44,605
I I know,

372
00:13:46,105 --> 00:13:47,804
at some point in certain dungeons,

373
00:13:48,264 --> 00:13:50,764
if you were going to do a a,

374
00:13:52,409 --> 00:13:54,509
a very risky or extreme

375
00:13:54,889 --> 00:13:55,389
scene,

376
00:13:56,889 --> 00:13:58,970
a lot of times the before you do

377
00:13:58,970 --> 00:13:59,629
the scene,

378
00:14:00,409 --> 00:14:02,649
the dungeons will ask you, you know, come

379
00:14:02,649 --> 00:14:03,549
talk to us.

380
00:14:03,865 --> 00:14:05,945
Sometimes depending on the scene. Yeah. Let us

381
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,264
know what's going on, because that way if

382
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,045
somebody comes to us and say,

383
00:14:10,424 --> 00:14:11,404
hey, this is

384
00:14:11,945 --> 00:14:14,105
a little much, don't you think? They know

385
00:14:14,105 --> 00:14:15,785
that it's part of what is supposed to

386
00:14:15,785 --> 00:14:17,625
happen. Right. And that's if you know you

387
00:14:17,625 --> 00:14:20,220
are purposely playing with something that's got a

388
00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:22,460
lot of risk associated with it. Correct. Here's

389
00:14:22,460 --> 00:14:24,220
the thing that I you know, in terms

390
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,980
of what a a dungeon could do or

391
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:28,139
a a play party host could do, they

392
00:14:28,139 --> 00:14:30,059
would also have to actively know that the

393
00:14:30,059 --> 00:14:33,154
bottom had a pacemaker though. True. That's really

394
00:14:33,154 --> 00:14:34,535
hard to, like, oversee.

395
00:14:35,235 --> 00:14:36,215
You know, again

396
00:14:36,995 --> 00:14:38,754
Yeah. You you you know yeah. You you

397
00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:41,554
can't know everybody's medical history. No. And I

398
00:14:41,554 --> 00:14:43,634
don't I'm not comfortable with the world where

399
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:44,855
we ask for

400
00:14:45,235 --> 00:14:47,459
people's medical history in order to come into

401
00:14:47,459 --> 00:14:49,379
the dungeon just because that shit's private and

402
00:14:49,539 --> 00:14:52,259
Yeah. You know? But also, when we start

403
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:55,399
talking about who has should somebody, like, assume

404
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:58,579
responsibility for stopping this, you have to know

405
00:14:58,579 --> 00:15:00,774
all of you either have to know all

406
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,294
of the details or you have to see

407
00:15:02,294 --> 00:15:04,134
something or sense something where you think you

408
00:15:04,134 --> 00:15:05,975
should at least ask the question, hey, are

409
00:15:05,975 --> 00:15:07,355
you doing this as

410
00:15:07,735 --> 00:15:08,235
risk

411
00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:09,434
free?

412
00:15:10,134 --> 00:15:12,714
You know, risk aware as possible. Right? Like

413
00:15:12,799 --> 00:15:14,799
if I saw two people playing with a

414
00:15:14,799 --> 00:15:15,299
Electraplay,

415
00:15:16,399 --> 00:15:16,899
short

416
00:15:17,439 --> 00:15:20,159
of hearing the not kind good kind of

417
00:15:20,159 --> 00:15:23,139
screams or hearing a safe word get disregarded,

418
00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:24,959
it would I would not clock it as

419
00:15:24,959 --> 00:15:27,804
something I need to Right. Pay attention to

420
00:15:27,804 --> 00:15:30,044
and go, wait, that looks risky. Now if

421
00:15:30,044 --> 00:15:31,725
you know the person, you're like, what are

422
00:15:31,725 --> 00:15:33,725
they doing? They got a fucking pacemaker. I

423
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,644
was just in the waiting room for that,

424
00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,084
you know? Yeah. I took them to the

425
00:15:37,084 --> 00:15:39,580
fucking hospital that day. That's different. But that's

426
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:41,600
the thing. That's why it's tricky

427
00:15:42,539 --> 00:15:44,480
to place an obligation

428
00:15:45,019 --> 00:15:46,940
on a community to police it because you

429
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,500
have to know in that specific situation, you

430
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,419
have to know information. Now Mhmm. As we

431
00:15:51,419 --> 00:15:53,500
were prepping for this episode, I did start

432
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,355
thinking of things where, wait, maybe somebody could

433
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:56,855
know

434
00:15:57,634 --> 00:15:59,955
at from the outside Right. Without, like, knowing

435
00:15:59,955 --> 00:16:02,215
somebody's private information and be able to

436
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,355
intervene. And and here I have in my

437
00:16:04,355 --> 00:16:06,915
notes Mhmm. I have examples. Yeah. These are

438
00:16:06,915 --> 00:16:08,995
the ones I could think of. Okay. One

439
00:16:08,995 --> 00:16:10,620
is using a wax

440
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,559
that is not considered

441
00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:17,259
the the air quotes safest wax for wax

442
00:16:17,259 --> 00:16:20,299
place. So soy to paraffin, anything kind of

443
00:16:20,299 --> 00:16:23,179
within those temperature ranges or lower. Anything Right.

444
00:16:23,429 --> 00:16:23,929
That

445
00:16:24,294 --> 00:16:27,174
is even milder than soy. Perfect. Into something

446
00:16:27,174 --> 00:16:29,335
like beeswax. Right. Now you would have to

447
00:16:29,335 --> 00:16:31,434
know the person's playing with beeswax, but,

448
00:16:31,894 --> 00:16:34,375
you know, people will tend to talk about

449
00:16:34,375 --> 00:16:36,134
their scenes if they're doing them in public,

450
00:16:36,134 --> 00:16:37,975
and you can maybe learn that. Now If

451
00:16:37,975 --> 00:16:39,434
I know you're using beeswax

452
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,269
and I and we are in a space

453
00:16:41,269 --> 00:16:43,850
that I am responsible for, or we something.

454
00:16:44,149 --> 00:16:46,230
Yeah. I think it's important to go, do

455
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,470
you know that that is not a good

456
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:50,950
idea? Now, X brought up a good thing,

457
00:16:50,950 --> 00:16:52,889
and, you know, I if you're

458
00:16:53,955 --> 00:16:54,455
in

459
00:16:54,835 --> 00:16:56,995
and you plan on doing electro play, I

460
00:16:56,995 --> 00:16:59,254
think that is a good good thing because,

461
00:16:59,475 --> 00:17:01,815
you know, even when you're doing a negotiation

462
00:17:02,034 --> 00:17:03,875
for any kind of scene, you know, are

463
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,555
you on any kind of medication that would

464
00:17:05,555 --> 00:17:07,559
have Absolutely. That's not even a question.

465
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,160
Electro play, yes. Tell the person you got

466
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:14,759
a pacemaker so the other person can go,

467
00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:16,460
well, guess what we're not fucking doing.

468
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,799
What I'm talking about is walking into the

469
00:17:19,799 --> 00:17:21,974
dungeon saying, hey, we're gonna do an electro

470
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:24,694
play scene. Mhmm. Is there an obligation on

471
00:17:24,694 --> 00:17:26,295
the part of the dungeon to go Now,

472
00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,055
maybe this is it. Do either of y'all

473
00:17:28,055 --> 00:17:28,795
have pacemakers

474
00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:30,934
because here's what you need to know. They

475
00:17:30,934 --> 00:17:32,214
don't have to answer, do you have a

476
00:17:32,214 --> 00:17:34,154
pacemaker? Right. Or maybe,

477
00:17:34,535 --> 00:17:35,914
you know, if a space

478
00:17:36,295 --> 00:17:38,960
puts up, like, notifications of, hey,

479
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:42,380
here's what we don't want you doing on

480
00:17:42,380 --> 00:17:43,119
our premises

481
00:17:43,740 --> 00:17:46,000
and electro play if you have a pacemaker

482
00:17:46,220 --> 00:17:47,740
being on the list. But here's the thing,

483
00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:48,640
this is why

484
00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:50,079
weird fucking,

485
00:17:50,539 --> 00:17:52,559
instructions are put on things

486
00:17:52,964 --> 00:17:55,044
because some dumbass thought what they needed to

487
00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:57,444
do was to touch the chainsaw blade while

488
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:58,964
it was still going. You know what I

489
00:17:58,964 --> 00:18:00,484
mean? Like Or or stick their hand under

490
00:18:00,484 --> 00:18:03,444
the mower. Right. Because somebody did something stupid

491
00:18:03,444 --> 00:18:05,799
and now a company is trying to,

492
00:18:07,059 --> 00:18:09,380
reduce their liability. Mhmm. And that would be

493
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,819
the other thing I would think of, and

494
00:18:10,819 --> 00:18:11,960
this is a very capitalistic

495
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,900
reason for a community or an organization to

496
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:16,839
take responsibility for something like this.

497
00:18:17,140 --> 00:18:18,920
What liability does the

498
00:18:19,595 --> 00:18:20,095
location

499
00:18:20,394 --> 00:18:20,894
possess

500
00:18:21,195 --> 00:18:23,434
if Right. And and and that is something

501
00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:24,474
you can search. I don't know. I don't

502
00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:26,154
know anything about that, you know. And and

503
00:18:26,154 --> 00:18:28,555
what would the what what would the top

504
00:18:28,555 --> 00:18:29,455
who did this

505
00:18:30,394 --> 00:18:32,714
face if something had happened? And I will

506
00:18:32,714 --> 00:18:34,799
say I think that I know that there

507
00:18:34,799 --> 00:18:36,100
are people who

508
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,160
and Rah Rah might have one through Pink

509
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,600
Kink. I'm not sure. That,

510
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:41,220
there are

511
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,320
legal professionals who will sometimes do workshops that

512
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,000
happen to be kinky and go Mhmm. Here's

513
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,360
some of what you need to know. And

514
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,914
I don't I'm not gonna pretend I know

515
00:18:48,914 --> 00:18:50,515
any of that. But I Right. I could

516
00:18:50,515 --> 00:18:52,914
see where a dungeon might think about that,

517
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,434
especially if they have to go through the

518
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,015
horror of it happening Right. On their watch.

519
00:18:57,235 --> 00:18:58,914
So, yeah. The example I thought of first

520
00:18:58,914 --> 00:19:01,555
was the hot wax. If you actively know

521
00:19:01,555 --> 00:19:03,359
the person is using what we would consider

522
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,259
a very dangerous

523
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,880
substance for that, a very dangerous wax that

524
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,660
could there's no, like,

525
00:19:09,839 --> 00:19:11,839
it's more of a the chances of you

526
00:19:11,839 --> 00:19:14,240
coming out unscathed are way lower than the

527
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,839
chances of you getting a third degree burn

528
00:19:15,839 --> 00:19:18,105
from that kind of situation. There's also an

529
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:20,505
impact play. There are and there are a

530
00:19:20,505 --> 00:19:22,664
ton of diagrams across the Internet that will

531
00:19:22,664 --> 00:19:24,684
show you here are the safe zones

532
00:19:25,304 --> 00:19:28,184
for impact play. Correct. Right? And typically, we're

533
00:19:28,184 --> 00:19:30,904
talking, you know, deep muscle areas, the ass,

534
00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:33,224
the thighs, you know, we're we're not we're

535
00:19:33,224 --> 00:19:35,309
not hitting where there's like a spleen or

536
00:19:35,309 --> 00:19:37,309
something. Don't do It's the same thing with

537
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:39,309
rope, you know, there are there are things

538
00:19:39,309 --> 00:19:42,130
that tell you what nerve, you know, where

539
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,109
you should not tie, where, you know, the

540
00:19:44,109 --> 00:19:46,369
nerves are too close that can do

541
00:19:47,755 --> 00:19:49,755
damage. And that's and that's a thing. If

542
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:53,295
you are actively witnessing what is questionable behavior,

543
00:19:53,755 --> 00:19:55,355
and we've kind of talked about this in

544
00:19:55,355 --> 00:19:56,795
the past, we're talking about for people who

545
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:58,494
are going to the dungeon the first time.

546
00:19:58,555 --> 00:20:00,234
It's never okay to interrupt a scene because

547
00:20:00,234 --> 00:20:02,369
you can actually cause more harm than good

548
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:03,890
that you're trying to do. But that's when

549
00:20:03,890 --> 00:20:05,730
it's like you, the dungeon, you grab a

550
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:07,029
dungeon master at the

551
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:10,450
monitor master. Mhmm. I said dungeon master when

552
00:20:10,450 --> 00:20:11,990
I meant dungeon monitor. DM.

553
00:20:12,609 --> 00:20:13,109
That.

554
00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:17,555
Look. Look. The Venn diagram between the

555
00:20:18,815 --> 00:20:20,734
whoever the dungeon master is on dungeon monitor,

556
00:20:20,734 --> 00:20:22,095
that's a circle. I know.

557
00:20:23,615 --> 00:20:25,134
You know, or if you're at a play

558
00:20:25,134 --> 00:20:26,815
party, you could grab the host or whoever

559
00:20:26,815 --> 00:20:29,154
they've designated to be eyes because,

560
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:30,980
you know,

561
00:20:31,279 --> 00:20:33,759
there should be some expectation of anybody playing

562
00:20:33,759 --> 00:20:35,599
in a public place that at some point,

563
00:20:35,599 --> 00:20:36,740
somebody who is,

564
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:37,940
responsible

565
00:20:38,559 --> 00:20:42,015
authority in that venue could approach you. Right?

566
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,974
That's a little bit different than some random

567
00:20:44,974 --> 00:20:46,815
stranger you've never seen and you don't know

568
00:20:46,815 --> 00:20:48,335
who they're supposed to be just coming up

569
00:20:48,335 --> 00:20:50,494
going you're doing it wrong and then what

570
00:20:50,494 --> 00:20:51,634
is happening here?

571
00:20:52,894 --> 00:20:53,795
Do I think

572
00:20:54,414 --> 00:20:56,640
dungeons and play parties should have that? From

573
00:20:56,799 --> 00:20:59,299
a personal opinion, yeah. I think they should.

574
00:20:59,839 --> 00:21:00,740
How do

575
00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:04,000
you make that happen? How do you encourage

576
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,519
that? Because here's the thing, we are talking

577
00:21:05,519 --> 00:21:07,680
about people's personal autonomy and a lot of

578
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,884
people take really big fucking risks every day

579
00:21:11,884 --> 00:21:12,785
of their lives,

580
00:21:13,484 --> 00:21:15,825
and they keep doing it while they're unscathed

581
00:21:15,964 --> 00:21:17,105
until one day

582
00:21:17,884 --> 00:21:19,244
it don't work out, and they go, oh,

583
00:21:19,244 --> 00:21:20,605
maybe I shouldn't have done it that way,

584
00:21:20,605 --> 00:21:23,085
you know. And that it's that is a

585
00:21:23,085 --> 00:21:24,384
fine line between,

586
00:21:25,589 --> 00:21:27,190
I don't think you should do that and

587
00:21:27,190 --> 00:21:29,769
I know what harm you could do

588
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:32,789
versus how much actual control do I have

589
00:21:32,789 --> 00:21:35,509
over this. Mhmm. You know? And I can

590
00:21:35,509 --> 00:21:37,724
want people to not do the foolish thing.

591
00:21:37,804 --> 00:21:40,845
I can actively advise you, don't do the

592
00:21:40,845 --> 00:21:41,825
foolish thing.

593
00:21:42,684 --> 00:21:44,845
Sure. If I don't have any authority in

594
00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:46,845
a space, what am I how do I

595
00:21:46,845 --> 00:21:49,005
stop that? And you know what makes me

596
00:21:49,005 --> 00:21:50,304
nervous about

597
00:21:50,605 --> 00:21:51,105
this

598
00:21:51,884 --> 00:21:53,184
situation too?

599
00:21:54,619 --> 00:21:56,559
And and not that I'm saying this is

600
00:21:56,726 --> 00:21:57,226
a

601
00:21:58,059 --> 00:21:59,519
it's it's a bad thing in a way,

602
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:00,240
but

603
00:22:01,579 --> 00:22:02,559
nothing happened.

604
00:22:03,259 --> 00:22:05,740
They did the scene and nothing happened. And

605
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,404
that's a scary thing because then there's Because

606
00:22:07,404 --> 00:22:09,244
then, well, we did it we did it

607
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,345
before And we were fine. And nothing happened.

608
00:22:11,404 --> 00:22:13,184
That's called survivor bias.

609
00:22:13,644 --> 00:22:14,144
Yeah.

610
00:22:14,445 --> 00:22:16,525
I I lived through it, so clearly it's

611
00:22:16,525 --> 00:22:18,605
fine. Well, the next time you might not.

612
00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:20,980
So Yeah. But, again, that's where we're back

613
00:22:20,980 --> 00:22:23,619
to personal autonomy. Yeah. You know, bodily autonomy.

614
00:22:23,619 --> 00:22:26,119
You get to do the dumbass thing. Mhmm.

615
00:22:26,259 --> 00:22:27,399
The the the

616
00:22:30,019 --> 00:22:30,519
line,

617
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:34,019
most of us I I think maybe could

618
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,934
agree, maybe not, is when your dumbass thing

619
00:22:36,934 --> 00:22:37,434
impacts

620
00:22:37,735 --> 00:22:39,595
another person outside of yourself,

621
00:22:40,295 --> 00:22:42,055
that's different. And I think and that's why

622
00:22:42,055 --> 00:22:44,535
I think public spaces like dungeons and parties

623
00:22:44,535 --> 00:22:45,035
have

624
00:22:45,494 --> 00:22:47,035
a lot of fucking leeway.

625
00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:48,170
But

626
00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:51,029
the parties and the dungeons have to be

627
00:22:51,029 --> 00:22:52,490
run by people who

628
00:22:53,670 --> 00:22:55,910
have a a wide enough community and a

629
00:22:55,910 --> 00:22:58,390
wide enough knowledge base to be able to

630
00:22:58,390 --> 00:22:59,990
think of these things, to know who to

631
00:22:59,990 --> 00:23:03,164
ask, to figure out how they're gonna do

632
00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:06,285
their best to minimize as much risk as

633
00:23:06,285 --> 00:23:06,785
possible.

634
00:23:07,164 --> 00:23:10,045
And the reality is whether you're hosting a

635
00:23:10,045 --> 00:23:11,265
space or online,

636
00:23:11,644 --> 00:23:14,279
in person, when you are around people, you

637
00:23:14,279 --> 00:23:17,320
cannot think of every dumbass fucking thing they

638
00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:19,500
could do Yeah. As well. So

639
00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:21,500
when we think about the responsibility

640
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:25,340
of the space to mitigate risk,

641
00:23:26,054 --> 00:23:27,414
you know, I think we do have to

642
00:23:27,414 --> 00:23:29,815
be careful that that we don't assume that

643
00:23:29,815 --> 00:23:32,214
if risk happened that we know looking back

644
00:23:32,214 --> 00:23:35,514
definitely shouldn't have happened. Mhmm. Is this because

645
00:23:35,734 --> 00:23:37,815
it was poor a poorly run space or

646
00:23:37,815 --> 00:23:40,460
is it because Yeah. That creative human who

647
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,460
just got hurt did something nobody could have

648
00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:43,900
thought of? I mean, you know, just like

649
00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:46,619
I've I've been to to some local parties

650
00:23:46,619 --> 00:23:48,619
here. And, you know, at the at the

651
00:23:48,619 --> 00:23:49,119
beginning,

652
00:23:49,660 --> 00:23:51,279
before the party even

653
00:23:51,674 --> 00:23:54,394
starts Mhmm. You know, the host will kinda

654
00:23:54,394 --> 00:23:56,654
gather everybody around and say, you know,

655
00:23:57,035 --> 00:23:59,134
this this these are the house rules. Right.

656
00:23:59,434 --> 00:24:01,035
Right. This, you know, you

657
00:24:01,434 --> 00:24:01,934
we,

658
00:24:02,235 --> 00:24:03,134
you know, consent,

659
00:24:03,595 --> 00:24:04,095
negotiate.

660
00:24:04,980 --> 00:24:05,880
Right. You know?

661
00:24:06,259 --> 00:24:07,319
And, you know, I

662
00:24:07,940 --> 00:24:09,940
especially if you're hosting a party in your

663
00:24:09,940 --> 00:24:13,079
damn house Mhmm. Because I don't think your

664
00:24:13,299 --> 00:24:16,259
homeowner's insurance liability coverage is gonna give a

665
00:24:16,259 --> 00:24:17,400
fuck that almost

666
00:24:17,940 --> 00:24:20,519
other grown adults that they right. Yeah.

667
00:24:21,365 --> 00:24:23,044
Because we at least here in The States,

668
00:24:23,044 --> 00:24:26,424
we are a lawsuit happy folk. Okay? Yeah.

669
00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:29,244
But, you know, there's

670
00:24:29,684 --> 00:24:32,164
I think if you are I think you

671
00:24:32,164 --> 00:24:33,065
can lay out

672
00:24:33,549 --> 00:24:35,390
specific things. Right? Like, if you know of

673
00:24:35,390 --> 00:24:37,309
them, like, you need to use the proper

674
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:37,809
equipment

675
00:24:38,509 --> 00:24:40,190
to do the kink scene or we will

676
00:24:40,190 --> 00:24:42,190
step in and start asking questions. Right?

677
00:24:44,029 --> 00:24:45,570
The known things like

678
00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:47,404
erotic

679
00:24:48,345 --> 00:24:48,845
asphyxiation

680
00:24:49,945 --> 00:24:53,085
can easily go too far. Right? But

681
00:24:53,384 --> 00:24:53,884
I

682
00:24:54,184 --> 00:24:54,684
think

683
00:24:55,144 --> 00:24:58,125
I also don't wanna stress hosts and and

684
00:24:59,250 --> 00:24:59,750
dungeon

685
00:25:00,049 --> 00:25:01,570
folk out so much that they just don't

686
00:25:01,570 --> 00:25:03,089
even have the space. I think it's a

687
00:25:03,170 --> 00:25:04,769
you have to learn as you go. These

688
00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:06,930
rules and these things that you will and

689
00:25:06,930 --> 00:25:08,849
won't accept and how you're gonna handle them

690
00:25:08,849 --> 00:25:11,144
are gonna evolve over time. But if you

691
00:25:11,305 --> 00:25:11,805
start

692
00:25:12,184 --> 00:25:14,825
if you start from a place that most

693
00:25:14,825 --> 00:25:16,505
people are gonna just try their best and

694
00:25:16,505 --> 00:25:18,265
do their best and weird shit will happen,

695
00:25:18,265 --> 00:25:20,345
but they're trying. And but there will always

696
00:25:20,345 --> 00:25:21,005
be one

697
00:25:21,625 --> 00:25:22,125
dumbass.

698
00:25:25,384 --> 00:25:27,320
It's a it's one one of many reasons

699
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:28,920
I'm not running out to have a public

700
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,400
space because how do you walk the fine

701
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,480
line between most people are doing their best

702
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,580
and anything that happens is a freak thing.

703
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,019
Right. And also

704
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:37,900
protect

705
00:25:38,615 --> 00:25:41,575
the space from that one dumbass who's gonna

706
00:25:41,575 --> 00:25:42,875
show up. Because they

707
00:25:43,174 --> 00:25:45,195
they always are eventually. Yeah.

708
00:25:46,134 --> 00:25:47,035
You know, I

709
00:25:47,894 --> 00:25:50,789
I think it's the most helpful thing that

710
00:25:50,789 --> 00:25:53,529
seems the most pragmatic to me is conversations

711
00:25:53,910 --> 00:25:56,390
in your community spaces online, in person where

712
00:25:56,390 --> 00:25:57,930
you're talking about these situations,

713
00:25:58,470 --> 00:26:00,710
not direct necessarily directly with the person who

714
00:26:00,710 --> 00:26:02,090
did it. If you can, great.

715
00:26:02,549 --> 00:26:05,174
Please try to educate them. But to talk

716
00:26:05,174 --> 00:26:07,835
to other people because other people are gonna

717
00:26:08,375 --> 00:26:09,034
you know,

718
00:26:09,414 --> 00:26:11,994
as much as we all of us encourage

719
00:26:12,775 --> 00:26:14,615
somebody who's new to a kink to please

720
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:16,294
go research it and maybe do a workshop

721
00:26:16,294 --> 00:26:18,869
and, you know, learn what the the the

722
00:26:18,869 --> 00:26:20,950
real risks are so you can, you know,

723
00:26:20,950 --> 00:26:23,990
whatever whatever. There's always gonna be somebody who

724
00:26:23,990 --> 00:26:26,230
was shopping online at night and went, oh,

725
00:26:26,230 --> 00:26:27,829
I've heard of that. Buy the toy and

726
00:26:27,829 --> 00:26:29,210
then their partner

727
00:26:30,095 --> 00:26:32,174
and not even have read the instruction manual

728
00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:35,134
of the toy. Right? But if we can

729
00:26:35,134 --> 00:26:36,434
have these conversations

730
00:26:36,815 --> 00:26:38,595
about what it what

731
00:26:39,134 --> 00:26:40,654
you as an individual or we as a

732
00:26:40,654 --> 00:26:42,734
community, you know, what is acceptable, what's not,

733
00:26:42,734 --> 00:26:45,049
what's what do we mean when we say

734
00:26:45,049 --> 00:26:47,230
risk, right, versus high risk,

735
00:26:48,250 --> 00:26:50,170
there will be people who can, in the

736
00:26:50,170 --> 00:26:52,970
periphery, who will, like, through osmosis, get some

737
00:26:52,970 --> 00:26:54,570
of that information and they'll hear something that

738
00:26:54,570 --> 00:26:56,090
they didn't know. They'll be the lucky one

739
00:26:56,090 --> 00:26:58,615
who got bug zapped by their partner and

740
00:26:58,615 --> 00:27:00,855
lived to tell the tale, but then go,

741
00:27:00,855 --> 00:27:02,454
oh, yeah. Maybe I need to learn about

742
00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:04,295
that. And that's when they go, oh, shit.

743
00:27:04,295 --> 00:27:06,134
I have a pacemaker. Why'd you come at

744
00:27:06,134 --> 00:27:08,375
me? Don't do that. You know? Some of

745
00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:10,535
that has to be experiential. You have to

746
00:27:10,535 --> 00:27:11,035
be

747
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,119
in spaces where you can learn from other

748
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,759
people, and the people there just gotta talk

749
00:27:15,759 --> 00:27:16,259
about,

750
00:27:16,559 --> 00:27:18,160
to the extent you're comfortable with it, your

751
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,720
own experiences and what you know and what

752
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,039
you've learned the hard way. And but, you

753
00:27:23,039 --> 00:27:24,799
know, there's no way to force everybody to

754
00:27:24,799 --> 00:27:25,539
know everything.

755
00:27:25,974 --> 00:27:28,454
Mhmm. There's no way to police what anybody

756
00:27:28,454 --> 00:27:31,014
does in private. No. You just you just

757
00:27:31,014 --> 00:27:31,514
can't.

758
00:27:32,054 --> 00:27:34,774
None of us can. An Anisa brought up

759
00:27:34,774 --> 00:27:35,514
a a very

760
00:27:36,294 --> 00:27:38,214
good point had that, you know, I don't

761
00:27:38,214 --> 00:27:40,694
think either one of us really considered. Mhmm.

762
00:27:41,255 --> 00:27:43,519
You know, know, what if something had happened?

763
00:27:43,519 --> 00:27:44,339
Could you imagine

764
00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:45,700
what the top

765
00:27:47,039 --> 00:27:49,279
would be? So I'm gonna give my charitable

766
00:27:49,279 --> 00:27:49,779
view.

767
00:27:50,559 --> 00:27:52,880
I'm gonna assume the top really is well

768
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:54,019
meaning regardless

769
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,240
of yeah. They almost died, but they're hot,

770
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,214
so it's okay, Connor. Alright. I'm gonna assume

771
00:27:58,214 --> 00:28:00,475
they're well meaning. Yeah. That would have been

772
00:28:00,775 --> 00:28:02,615
one person's life either would have been over

773
00:28:02,615 --> 00:28:04,934
or they would have been severely injured. Right.

774
00:28:04,934 --> 00:28:06,295
That's already the thing they have to deal

775
00:28:06,295 --> 00:28:07,974
with. And then the person who did it

776
00:28:07,974 --> 00:28:08,634
to them?

777
00:28:09,910 --> 00:28:10,410
Whew.

778
00:28:10,789 --> 00:28:13,750
Yeah. That's that's traumatizing. That's traumatizing. And see

779
00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:15,910
this you know, we the conversation in our

780
00:28:15,910 --> 00:28:18,070
discourse are we really did focus on the

781
00:28:18,070 --> 00:28:20,309
public spaces because I think we all understand

782
00:28:20,309 --> 00:28:21,450
that's where the control

783
00:28:22,005 --> 00:28:23,704
might lie for these things.

784
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:25,945
But I think in terms of

785
00:28:26,325 --> 00:28:29,125
trying to educate people, so you think about

786
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:32,005
these things in as ethical and as responsible

787
00:28:32,005 --> 00:28:33,924
a way that you possibly can with the

788
00:28:33,924 --> 00:28:34,984
information you have.

789
00:28:35,365 --> 00:28:35,865
The

790
00:28:37,109 --> 00:28:39,990
I'm less concerned about did the dungeon stop

791
00:28:39,990 --> 00:28:42,970
a thing because, again, in that specific scenario,

792
00:28:43,109 --> 00:28:44,789
how would they have known somebody had a

793
00:28:44,789 --> 00:28:47,269
pacemaker. Right? Yeah. Especially if both partners are

794
00:28:47,269 --> 00:28:47,769
enthusiastically

795
00:28:48,309 --> 00:28:50,715
consenting. I'm hoping it was enthusiastic and it

796
00:28:50,715 --> 00:28:51,695
was not pressure.

797
00:28:53,674 --> 00:28:54,174
So,

798
00:28:54,475 --> 00:28:57,355
you know, I'll get the the public space

799
00:28:57,355 --> 00:28:59,195
has all the leeway because that's a thing

800
00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:00,815
they couldn't have known until afterwards.

801
00:29:01,529 --> 00:29:03,609
The thing to keep talking about and to

802
00:29:03,609 --> 00:29:05,850
keep to to make it a thing of,

803
00:29:05,850 --> 00:29:07,070
like, here are expectations

804
00:29:07,529 --> 00:29:08,029
for

805
00:29:08,410 --> 00:29:09,950
good and responsible

806
00:29:10,730 --> 00:29:14,174
doms and tops, is that the ultimate response?

807
00:29:14,335 --> 00:29:16,835
Okay. The ultimate responsibility is on the person

808
00:29:16,894 --> 00:29:18,835
who is having the thing done to them

809
00:29:19,215 --> 00:29:21,215
to know what the risks are and to

810
00:29:21,215 --> 00:29:23,955
actually understand what they're consenting to. But

811
00:29:24,494 --> 00:29:24,994
empower

812
00:29:25,615 --> 00:29:26,115
dynamics,

813
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,099
it is absolutely a responsibility

814
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:31,940
of the top slash dom

815
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,039
to go that no. That's that is so

816
00:29:35,039 --> 00:29:37,359
potentially unsafe. I I don't wanna do it

817
00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:39,119
to you, but I don't wanna traumatize myself

818
00:29:39,119 --> 00:29:40,640
either. And that's the

819
00:29:42,055 --> 00:29:44,055
I think it's a two pronged thing. If

820
00:29:44,055 --> 00:29:46,555
public community spaces are saying this is unacceptable,

821
00:29:46,855 --> 00:29:49,255
we will not accept this level of risk

822
00:29:49,255 --> 00:29:51,115
to a person. I don't care how enthusiastically

823
00:29:51,815 --> 00:29:52,795
you are consenting.

824
00:29:53,494 --> 00:29:55,815
And also as people like us, people in

825
00:29:55,974 --> 00:29:57,480
you know, at your munches and you're talking

826
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:57,980
about

827
00:29:58,279 --> 00:30:00,200
what you think makes a good dom or

828
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,880
what you think makes a good scene. And

829
00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,140
we're talking about the ethics and responsibility

830
00:30:04,519 --> 00:30:05,259
of a top

831
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:06,380
knowing

832
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,779
the severity of the risk

833
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,619
and still doing it.

834
00:30:11,265 --> 00:30:13,345
You know, a little bit of embarrassment and

835
00:30:13,345 --> 00:30:16,545
shunning, sometimes people learn from that. Again, you

836
00:30:16,545 --> 00:30:18,305
will never be able to control what they

837
00:30:18,305 --> 00:30:19,285
go off and do

838
00:30:19,744 --> 00:30:22,224
when no one's around. But Mhmm. You know

839
00:30:23,809 --> 00:30:24,710
yeah. I just

840
00:30:25,410 --> 00:30:27,269
it's Yeah. I I mean,

841
00:30:27,809 --> 00:30:30,710
you unfortunately, you're not gonna stop people completely.

842
00:30:30,769 --> 00:30:33,089
You know, if they are unable to do

843
00:30:33,089 --> 00:30:35,089
it in public spaces There's no go to

844
00:30:35,089 --> 00:30:37,410
their house. They're gonna go somewhere, you know.

845
00:30:37,410 --> 00:30:37,910
Right.

846
00:30:38,325 --> 00:30:39,684
And that is a fine line. That is

847
00:30:39,684 --> 00:30:41,524
another reason I don't want to own and

848
00:30:41,524 --> 00:30:43,224
operate a public space because,

849
00:30:44,164 --> 00:30:46,404
you know, you have to walk that line

850
00:30:46,404 --> 00:30:48,404
of, do I want to keep even the

851
00:30:48,404 --> 00:30:50,325
dumbasses coming in so I can keep an

852
00:30:50,325 --> 00:30:52,599
eye on them? But at what point are

853
00:30:52,599 --> 00:30:53,660
they so unsafe?

854
00:30:54,599 --> 00:30:55,799
I gotta let them go because I have

855
00:30:55,799 --> 00:30:58,380
a responsibility to everybody else in the building.

856
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,099
Right. Yeah. Those are pressures I don't personally

857
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,960
want at this stage in life because it

858
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,994
should be pressure. It it should be stressful

859
00:31:05,994 --> 00:31:07,515
to try and figure out how you walk

860
00:31:07,515 --> 00:31:09,434
that line to keep the maximum amount of

861
00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:11,694
people safe and, you know,

862
00:31:12,075 --> 00:31:12,575
hopefully

863
00:31:12,954 --> 00:31:13,855
not have

864
00:31:14,234 --> 00:31:17,194
that one dumbass come in and severely hurt

865
00:31:17,194 --> 00:31:19,349
somebody, whether it's themselves or somebody else.

866
00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:22,789
You know? And I think most good spaces

867
00:31:22,789 --> 00:31:23,690
that I hear about,

868
00:31:24,230 --> 00:31:24,890
you know,

869
00:31:25,349 --> 00:31:27,829
obviously, my our primary experiences, what we hear

870
00:31:27,829 --> 00:31:29,750
about across The US, but, you know, in

871
00:31:29,750 --> 00:31:32,089
other countries as well, is those

872
00:31:32,994 --> 00:31:36,035
spaces where education is as much a part

873
00:31:36,035 --> 00:31:39,634
of that dungeon, that community center, that whatever

874
00:31:39,634 --> 00:31:42,515
as the play. Right? There's a component that

875
00:31:42,515 --> 00:31:43,494
they go together.

876
00:31:43,954 --> 00:31:45,394
Even, you know, back when we were in

877
00:31:45,394 --> 00:31:46,535
the Tampa Bay area,

878
00:31:47,700 --> 00:31:50,740
the local dungeon was really small and it

879
00:31:50,740 --> 00:31:52,359
was it was privately owned.

880
00:31:52,660 --> 00:31:54,420
And the Munch was hosted by other people,

881
00:31:54,420 --> 00:31:56,579
but the people who ran the Munch knew

882
00:31:56,579 --> 00:31:57,859
a lot of people would go to this

883
00:31:57,859 --> 00:31:59,460
club if they if they were welcome and

884
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:01,140
they could get in. And so the Munch

885
00:32:01,140 --> 00:32:03,025
was like, okay. Let's bring in people who

886
00:32:03,025 --> 00:32:04,545
can do demos. Let's bring in people who

887
00:32:04,545 --> 00:32:05,984
can talk and teach you how to do

888
00:32:05,984 --> 00:32:08,144
this stuff. Because we already know you have

889
00:32:08,144 --> 00:32:09,825
access to a space even if we don't

890
00:32:09,825 --> 00:32:12,965
control the space. Right. We can offer this

891
00:32:13,345 --> 00:32:16,080
to try to help people avoid as much

892
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,500
risk as possible Correct. And to play,

893
00:32:18,799 --> 00:32:21,200
you know, knowing what they need to know.

894
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,600
Right. To make educated decisions Right. To the

895
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:25,759
best of their ability. Yes. Now in thinking

896
00:32:25,759 --> 00:32:27,299
of this specific situation

897
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,224
that started this whole discussion, what what I

898
00:32:31,224 --> 00:32:32,765
desperately would want to know

899
00:32:33,384 --> 00:32:35,785
is how enthuse what did the bottom know

900
00:32:35,785 --> 00:32:36,605
about electroplay?

901
00:32:36,984 --> 00:32:39,805
Yeah. And how enthusiastic was that consent? Mhmm.

902
00:32:39,945 --> 00:32:42,025
Yeah. Did they know that somebody with a

903
00:32:42,025 --> 00:32:45,085
pacemaker should just don't, just don't, just don't,

904
00:32:45,769 --> 00:32:46,509
just don't.

905
00:32:46,970 --> 00:32:47,470
Or

906
00:32:47,769 --> 00:32:49,470
were they not aware of that part?

907
00:32:50,009 --> 00:32:50,509
Or,

908
00:32:50,890 --> 00:32:52,190
you know, were they,

909
00:32:53,130 --> 00:32:55,630
air quote, convinced that this would be fine,

910
00:32:55,769 --> 00:32:57,529
especially by somebody who maybe has gone, I've

911
00:32:57,529 --> 00:32:58,890
done it all the time. You know, I

912
00:32:58,890 --> 00:33:01,255
don't I don't know. That's that's a lot

913
00:33:01,255 --> 00:33:03,174
more telling to me. You know? That's true.

914
00:33:03,174 --> 00:33:03,914
Because then

915
00:33:04,454 --> 00:33:05,734
that's where it goes back to the top.

916
00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,295
That Yeah. That that would have been a

917
00:33:08,295 --> 00:33:10,154
a full failing on their part.

918
00:33:10,694 --> 00:33:12,569
When we talk about somebody who, in this

919
00:33:12,569 --> 00:33:14,569
case, has the pacemaker and knows it's a

920
00:33:14,569 --> 00:33:17,549
bad idea and makes the choice anyway,

921
00:33:19,849 --> 00:33:20,589
the only

922
00:33:22,730 --> 00:33:24,109
actionable thing is

923
00:33:24,490 --> 00:33:26,009
is it allowed in the space that you're

924
00:33:26,009 --> 00:33:28,125
in? Does somebody else control that space? And

925
00:33:28,125 --> 00:33:30,445
can they can they say, this is a

926
00:33:30,445 --> 00:33:32,765
thing we don't allow here? Because it goes

927
00:33:32,765 --> 00:33:35,565
against best practices we already teach. Because it's

928
00:33:35,644 --> 00:33:37,484
you know, this is a a risk of

929
00:33:37,484 --> 00:33:39,724
bodily harm that's greater than any of us

930
00:33:39,724 --> 00:33:42,545
want to bear the burden of that responsibility.

931
00:33:43,109 --> 00:33:44,710
You can go home and bear the burden

932
00:33:44,710 --> 00:33:46,710
of it, but not in our space here.

933
00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:48,950
True. True. Right? Because people who are running

934
00:33:48,950 --> 00:33:50,470
a space like that, whether it's a play

935
00:33:50,470 --> 00:33:51,990
party host and it's your damn house, do

936
00:33:51,990 --> 00:33:53,529
think about your liability insurance,

937
00:33:53,910 --> 00:33:54,410
or

938
00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:57,369
or, you know, a dungeon,

939
00:33:57,750 --> 00:33:59,565
they do have to think about everybody in

940
00:33:59,565 --> 00:34:01,964
there, not just that one person. Mhmm. So

941
00:34:01,964 --> 00:34:02,544
I think

942
00:34:03,005 --> 00:34:05,484
it is perfectly acceptable to go certain things

943
00:34:05,484 --> 00:34:06,224
aren't allowed.

944
00:34:06,684 --> 00:34:09,005
Yeah. The rub is, is it something they

945
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,945
can know about ahead of time? Right.

946
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:13,880
Right. I mean, yeah. I you know, just

947
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,059
like just like people,

948
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:17,819
you know,

949
00:34:18,279 --> 00:34:18,779
dungeons

950
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:20,859
and and, you know,

951
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:23,719
spaces like that, they are allowed to have

952
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:24,460
their own

953
00:34:25,204 --> 00:34:27,525
boundaries. They have to. Right. You know, like,

954
00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:29,045
part of, like, what I I said in

955
00:34:29,045 --> 00:34:30,744
the conversation on online,

956
00:34:31,445 --> 00:34:33,684
you know, they they have to the clubs,

957
00:34:33,684 --> 00:34:35,844
they have to adhere to state laws Yes.

958
00:34:35,925 --> 00:34:38,244
In order to operate. Yes. You know? So

959
00:34:38,244 --> 00:34:40,184
they they have to follow certain guidelines

960
00:34:40,599 --> 00:34:42,280
with the state to keep open. And if

961
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:43,980
they've got business insurance,

962
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,400
there'll be some guidelines there too. Right. That

963
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,500
insurance Re regardless. You know?

964
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:51,339
Yep. So

965
00:34:52,039 --> 00:34:54,614
And, you know, I I my idealistic

966
00:34:54,914 --> 00:34:57,315
self hates the fact that we're making rules

967
00:34:57,315 --> 00:34:59,394
not based on what's right or what's ethical

968
00:34:59,394 --> 00:35:01,635
or what's responsible, but, like, how do we

969
00:35:01,635 --> 00:35:03,155
not get sued and, you know, have to

970
00:35:03,155 --> 00:35:04,835
pay out a crap ton of money or

971
00:35:04,835 --> 00:35:06,809
the insurance company that won't insure us if

972
00:35:06,809 --> 00:35:09,050
we allow certain things or, you know Yeah.

973
00:35:09,050 --> 00:35:11,210
But that's the practical side of it, you

974
00:35:11,210 --> 00:35:11,710
know.

975
00:35:12,010 --> 00:35:13,369
If you are a person out there who's

976
00:35:13,369 --> 00:35:14,890
thinking maybe I wanna have a dungeon one

977
00:35:14,890 --> 00:35:17,050
day, those are part parts of it that

978
00:35:17,050 --> 00:35:19,885
you have to consider as well Right. Beyond

979
00:35:19,945 --> 00:35:22,344
just the what's, you know, what's moral to

980
00:35:22,344 --> 00:35:23,965
me and what's right to me.

981
00:35:24,344 --> 00:35:24,844
Yes.

982
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:26,344
And also

983
00:35:27,224 --> 00:35:29,704
and sometimes the and also from an insurance

984
00:35:29,704 --> 00:35:31,465
company or your state laws or your local

985
00:35:31,465 --> 00:35:33,085
laws Yeah. Can actually

986
00:35:33,670 --> 00:35:35,989
provide a bit of cover. You know? If

987
00:35:35,989 --> 00:35:38,650
your local laws do not allow certain activities

988
00:35:38,789 --> 00:35:40,710
that you wouldn't want in there anyway, it's

989
00:35:40,710 --> 00:35:43,030
it's very easy to go. There's no pushback.

990
00:35:43,030 --> 00:35:44,630
We this is illegal. We're not gonna do

991
00:35:44,630 --> 00:35:46,890
something illegal. Yeah. You know? But

992
00:35:48,905 --> 00:35:49,965
now the the

993
00:35:50,425 --> 00:35:51,965
hard part is

994
00:35:52,585 --> 00:35:53,724
ex and I

995
00:35:54,105 --> 00:35:56,184
I've spent years getting to this point and

996
00:35:56,184 --> 00:35:58,204
to the point I know I sound very

997
00:35:58,505 --> 00:36:00,204
probably heartless and very,

998
00:36:01,545 --> 00:36:03,900
there's a word I want, ambivalent, and I'm

999
00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:06,539
not. I'm I have deep personal feelings about

1000
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:07,359
what I think

1001
00:36:07,739 --> 00:36:10,699
people should do. Right? Like, I'm a judgy

1002
00:36:10,699 --> 00:36:12,639
bitch on the inside. Right?

1003
00:36:14,619 --> 00:36:16,699
In my head, I will have the conversation

1004
00:36:16,699 --> 00:36:18,719
about, well, that's a dumbass over there.

1005
00:36:19,224 --> 00:36:19,724
But

1006
00:36:21,144 --> 00:36:22,045
speaking to

1007
00:36:22,744 --> 00:36:25,224
people whose lives I cannot even imagine, for

1008
00:36:25,224 --> 00:36:26,824
as long as we have, the thing I

1009
00:36:26,824 --> 00:36:28,744
have had to come to accept and to

1010
00:36:28,744 --> 00:36:30,045
come to terms with

1011
00:36:30,425 --> 00:36:32,744
is I can tell you all day long,

1012
00:36:32,744 --> 00:36:35,329
don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do

1013
00:36:35,430 --> 00:36:37,230
that. And know that I have not a

1014
00:36:37,230 --> 00:36:40,110
lick of fucking control. And if I Excuse

1015
00:36:40,110 --> 00:36:42,750
me. Spend more of my time worried about

1016
00:36:42,750 --> 00:36:44,989
the people whose actions I can't control at

1017
00:36:44,989 --> 00:36:46,364
all, they're gonna do what the fuck they're

1018
00:36:46,445 --> 00:36:48,684
gonna do. Because sometimes you gotta fuck around

1019
00:36:48,684 --> 00:36:49,824
and then find out.

1020
00:36:50,605 --> 00:36:52,764
I'm not actually helping anybody else. I'm, like,

1021
00:36:52,764 --> 00:36:54,364
in a constant state of stress of people

1022
00:36:54,364 --> 00:36:56,764
are doing things wrong. And, yeah, maybe they

1023
00:36:56,764 --> 00:36:57,505
are, but

1024
00:36:58,619 --> 00:37:00,880
all I can do is share

1025
00:37:01,259 --> 00:37:03,359
my view on it, share my lived experience

1026
00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:06,219
on it, share best practices, go here's why

1027
00:37:06,219 --> 00:37:08,239
I don't think that's a good idea. Right?

1028
00:37:09,099 --> 00:37:09,599
Mhmm.

1029
00:37:09,900 --> 00:37:11,914
And hope that the message gets to the

1030
00:37:11,914 --> 00:37:13,135
people who need it.

1031
00:37:13,434 --> 00:37:15,695
But I can't walk around going, you

1032
00:37:15,994 --> 00:37:16,494
know,

1033
00:37:17,275 --> 00:37:18,255
letting myself

1034
00:37:18,795 --> 00:37:20,954
letting my the way I view the world,

1035
00:37:20,954 --> 00:37:23,114
letting the way I interact with people, especially

1036
00:37:23,114 --> 00:37:24,175
in the kink community,

1037
00:37:26,739 --> 00:37:29,059
be painted with that. Everybody's doing everything wrong

1038
00:37:29,059 --> 00:37:30,339
and if they don't do it right because

1039
00:37:30,339 --> 00:37:32,260
then then you are just coming across as

1040
00:37:32,260 --> 00:37:34,900
the judgmental bitch you are. Even if you're

1041
00:37:34,900 --> 00:37:37,139
right, if nobody wants to fucking listen to

1042
00:37:37,139 --> 00:37:37,639
you,

1043
00:37:38,099 --> 00:37:39,974
who cares? Who cares?

1044
00:37:40,675 --> 00:37:42,755
So I am not actually ambivalent to it,

1045
00:37:42,755 --> 00:37:44,755
but I just have accepted a lot. You

1046
00:37:44,755 --> 00:37:46,755
know, I think it's also raising a child

1047
00:37:46,755 --> 00:37:48,275
who would do what the fuck they wanted

1048
00:37:48,275 --> 00:37:50,034
no matter what you said. You just get

1049
00:37:50,034 --> 00:37:51,090
a little bit, like,

1050
00:37:51,410 --> 00:37:54,390
immune to it. Like, yeah. Yeah. Some people,

1051
00:37:54,610 --> 00:37:55,910
the moment you tell them

1052
00:37:56,450 --> 00:37:58,690
go, that means they must stop because they,

1053
00:37:58,690 --> 00:38:00,930
you know, they will not heed advice. They

1054
00:38:00,930 --> 00:38:02,550
will not do what they're told.

1055
00:38:03,454 --> 00:38:06,014
So Very, very true. You know, how would

1056
00:38:06,014 --> 00:38:08,114
I run a space? Yeah. I would have

1057
00:38:09,054 --> 00:38:11,054
I would have rules around, okay, you're not

1058
00:38:11,054 --> 00:38:12,894
gonna do things that we literally are teaching

1059
00:38:12,894 --> 00:38:14,335
you not to do. We're not gonna accept

1060
00:38:14,335 --> 00:38:16,650
that. We will, you know, safely safely as

1061
00:38:16,650 --> 00:38:18,170
possible stop this scene and you will have

1062
00:38:18,170 --> 00:38:19,529
to leave or you'll have to adjust. You

1063
00:38:19,529 --> 00:38:21,210
have to do something where we're not gonna

1064
00:38:21,210 --> 00:38:21,949
allow this.

1065
00:38:23,449 --> 00:38:25,769
And if somebody asks me as we're kind

1066
00:38:25,769 --> 00:38:27,289
of doing here, I'm a tell you, don't

1067
00:38:27,289 --> 00:38:29,414
do that. Don't do that. You eventually, you're

1068
00:38:29,494 --> 00:38:31,335
gonna regret it. Don't do that. You're unsafe

1069
00:38:31,335 --> 00:38:32,855
for the person you're playing with. This is

1070
00:38:32,855 --> 00:38:35,175
not ethical. This is not responsible. Don't fucking

1071
00:38:35,175 --> 00:38:35,914
do that.

1072
00:38:36,695 --> 00:38:38,554
And then I'm gonna accept that

1073
00:38:40,454 --> 00:38:41,835
people are gonna do it.

1074
00:38:42,690 --> 00:38:45,489
I'm gonna hope we reach the people who

1075
00:38:45,489 --> 00:38:46,929
just needed to go, oh, shit. I didn't

1076
00:38:46,929 --> 00:38:49,010
know that. Okay. I'll take that and I

1077
00:38:49,010 --> 00:38:50,530
won't do that, but because I now I

1078
00:38:50,530 --> 00:38:52,769
know. Or, oh, I didn't think of it

1079
00:38:52,769 --> 00:38:55,030
that way because I haven't had that experience

1080
00:38:55,329 --> 00:38:56,150
yet. Right?

1081
00:38:57,144 --> 00:38:58,904
So and I know not everybody is as

1082
00:38:58,904 --> 00:39:01,385
anxious as I am. I'm I'm always worried

1083
00:39:01,385 --> 00:39:03,385
about all of the worst possible outcomes, which

1084
00:39:03,385 --> 00:39:05,144
is why I don't do a lot of

1085
00:39:05,144 --> 00:39:08,105
things. I'm too worried about the risk. And

1086
00:39:08,105 --> 00:39:10,184
some people just don't think about the risk

1087
00:39:10,184 --> 00:39:11,340
until they have no choice.

1088
00:39:12,380 --> 00:39:14,480
You know? So I think if

1089
00:39:14,940 --> 00:39:17,019
whichever side of the slash you're on for

1090
00:39:17,019 --> 00:39:19,119
play or for dynamics or for relationships,

1091
00:39:19,739 --> 00:39:21,420
you need to figure out where you stand

1092
00:39:21,420 --> 00:39:23,180
and then that becomes a line. That's a

1093
00:39:23,180 --> 00:39:24,780
line in the sand. If you get somebody

1094
00:39:24,780 --> 00:39:25,760
who's like, yeah, yeah,

1095
00:39:26,105 --> 00:39:28,105
I know we're not supposed to hit you

1096
00:39:28,105 --> 00:39:30,184
where the soft tissue organs are, but I

1097
00:39:30,184 --> 00:39:32,125
really wanna hit you there. Well,

1098
00:39:32,505 --> 00:39:34,184
nope. Now we're playing outside of my limits

1099
00:39:34,184 --> 00:39:36,105
and I know enough as that individual who

1100
00:39:36,105 --> 00:39:38,510
has educated myself and had enough experience or

1101
00:39:38,510 --> 00:39:40,449
been around enough people and had enough conversations,

1102
00:39:40,589 --> 00:39:42,109
then I'm not gonna let you play with

1103
00:39:42,109 --> 00:39:42,609
me.

1104
00:39:43,389 --> 00:39:45,630
Can't protect the next person who doesn't, but

1105
00:39:45,630 --> 00:39:47,869
if we all keep kind of being in

1106
00:39:47,869 --> 00:39:50,109
community with our with each other because it's

1107
00:39:50,109 --> 00:39:52,510
not just educators and content creators who can

1108
00:39:52,510 --> 00:39:53,474
share the message.

1109
00:39:53,954 --> 00:39:56,675
It's whoever, you know, if you have that

1110
00:39:56,675 --> 00:39:58,855
thought, if you have that experience, if you've

1111
00:39:59,235 --> 00:40:00,835
heard this thing on, yeah, I agree with

1112
00:40:00,835 --> 00:40:03,075
that, you can have that conversation online with

1113
00:40:03,075 --> 00:40:05,655
somebody who wanders in and is like,

1114
00:40:06,829 --> 00:40:09,150
yeah. I'd like to pour hot beeswax over

1115
00:40:09,150 --> 00:40:10,909
my partner's genitals. You could be the one

1116
00:40:10,909 --> 00:40:13,650
to go, don't do that. You know, here's

1117
00:40:13,710 --> 00:40:15,230
why. I'll be right back. Did you hear

1118
00:40:15,230 --> 00:40:17,390
a doorbell? No. Too bad. You gotta do

1119
00:40:17,390 --> 00:40:19,630
something else. So Debbie's leaving me here at

1120
00:40:19,630 --> 00:40:21,315
the mic and even somehow,

1121
00:40:31,954 --> 00:40:32,454
quite

1122
00:40:34,610 --> 00:40:35,110
what

1123
00:40:36,449 --> 00:40:38,949
to add there, but that's not me repeating

1124
00:40:39,090 --> 00:40:39,590
myself.

1125
00:40:40,690 --> 00:40:41,750
I think that,

1126
00:40:43,730 --> 00:40:45,429
if you know you're risk averse,

1127
00:40:46,050 --> 00:40:48,070
I don't think you should ever feel pressured

1128
00:40:49,034 --> 00:40:51,295
to relax all of that risk aversion,

1129
00:40:52,474 --> 00:40:54,494
not in ways that make you feel unsafe.

1130
00:40:54,554 --> 00:40:57,034
Even if it is considered ethical behavior, even

1131
00:40:57,034 --> 00:40:59,695
if it is within the confines of what,

1132
00:41:00,074 --> 00:41:01,375
you know, is

1133
00:41:02,380 --> 00:41:04,480
best practices of how to do a thing.

1134
00:41:04,860 --> 00:41:06,619
If it's a step too far for you,

1135
00:41:06,619 --> 00:41:08,619
it's a step too far for you. I

1136
00:41:08,619 --> 00:41:10,800
do think if you're the type of person

1137
00:41:11,179 --> 00:41:11,679
who

1138
00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:14,239
does not worry about risk at all,

1139
00:41:14,699 --> 00:41:16,719
BDSM is the one time

1140
00:41:17,099 --> 00:41:17,885
to start

1141
00:41:18,264 --> 00:41:20,364
worrying about risk a little bit because

1142
00:41:20,985 --> 00:41:22,905
everything we do in kink comes with risks.

1143
00:41:22,905 --> 00:41:24,824
And most of the time, not all the

1144
00:41:24,824 --> 00:41:26,025
time, but most of the time it's gonna

1145
00:41:26,025 --> 00:41:28,824
be from a a sloppy moment, a, lack

1146
00:41:28,824 --> 00:41:31,405
of focus for two seconds, a a genuine

1147
00:41:31,545 --> 00:41:32,045
mistake.

1148
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:34,880
And most of the time, if you're not

1149
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:36,900
a a risk averse person, you're like, whatever.

1150
00:41:37,119 --> 00:41:39,059
You're probably gonna be fine through that

1151
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,200
most of the time, but it's those big

1152
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:43,519
risks. It's those you could literally be in

1153
00:41:43,519 --> 00:41:45,704
the hospital after this. You could be dead.

1154
00:41:45,864 --> 00:41:48,105
Mhmm. You could, you know, have third degree

1155
00:41:48,105 --> 00:41:51,305
burns. You could, you know, change the course

1156
00:41:51,305 --> 00:41:52,925
of your life forever

1157
00:41:53,385 --> 00:41:54,585
because you did that, like

1158
00:41:56,585 --> 00:41:58,184
and there and if you're like, yeah. But

1159
00:41:58,184 --> 00:41:59,739
I I'm not risk averse, so how do

1160
00:41:59,739 --> 00:42:01,420
I know? Because it's on the don't list

1161
00:42:01,420 --> 00:42:03,440
of how to do the fucking thing. Yeah.

1162
00:42:03,900 --> 00:42:05,820
If it's on the don't list, there's a

1163
00:42:05,820 --> 00:42:07,760
reason for it. And

1164
00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:10,460
if, like, this person, this top we're talking

1165
00:42:10,460 --> 00:42:11,599
about and the bottom,

1166
00:42:12,264 --> 00:42:14,664
just because they survived at this time is

1167
00:42:14,664 --> 00:42:17,625
no guaranteed survival the next time. Good. It's

1168
00:42:17,625 --> 00:42:20,664
like playing Russian roulette. And anytime somebody says,

1169
00:42:20,664 --> 00:42:22,344
well, I did the thing everybody says not

1170
00:42:22,344 --> 00:42:23,945
to do and I'm fine. That I think

1171
00:42:23,945 --> 00:42:25,465
I'm using this term right. Somebody correct me.

1172
00:42:25,465 --> 00:42:27,869
But I believe that's called survivor bias because

1173
00:42:27,869 --> 00:42:28,369
it's

1174
00:42:28,670 --> 00:42:30,670
the well, I it's the I lived through

1175
00:42:30,670 --> 00:42:32,190
it so it can't be that bad or

1176
00:42:32,190 --> 00:42:34,190
I lived through it so it's not a

1177
00:42:34,269 --> 00:42:36,349
it's, you know, it's no problem or it's

1178
00:42:36,349 --> 00:42:37,549
I lived through it and I will always

1179
00:42:37,549 --> 00:42:38,449
live through it.

1180
00:42:38,909 --> 00:42:40,690
Not no. No. Not necessarily.

1181
00:42:42,109 --> 00:42:42,609
So

1182
00:42:43,204 --> 00:42:44,885
anything you would add? Because apparently, I went

1183
00:42:44,885 --> 00:42:46,485
off on a tangent and made myself hot

1184
00:42:46,485 --> 00:42:48,724
and sweaty. Nope. So let's go back to

1185
00:42:48,724 --> 00:42:50,724
our initial questions, make sure we actually sort

1186
00:42:50,724 --> 00:42:52,025
of answered them

1187
00:42:52,485 --> 00:42:54,244
as much as we want to. Right. God.

1188
00:42:54,244 --> 00:42:56,085
Thank you, rah rah, for this. Okay. Is

1189
00:42:56,085 --> 00:42:57,605
there a point where even if both people

1190
00:42:57,605 --> 00:42:59,030
fully consent, the risk is too great and

1191
00:42:59,030 --> 00:43:00,369
the scene just shouldn't happen?

1192
00:43:01,150 --> 00:43:02,130
Yes. Yes.

1193
00:43:02,829 --> 00:43:04,369
Who gets to make that call?

1194
00:43:04,829 --> 00:43:06,750
Can a community or dungeon decide that some

1195
00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:08,690
kinks are too dangerous or cross line? Mhmm.

1196
00:43:08,910 --> 00:43:11,390
If you control the space, you get to

1197
00:43:11,390 --> 00:43:13,965
make those decisions. Let's let us add this

1198
00:43:14,125 --> 00:43:15,825
for our some kinks too dangerous.

1199
00:43:16,525 --> 00:43:17,885
I don't know how long ago because I

1200
00:43:17,885 --> 00:43:19,724
don't even know what time is, but I

1201
00:43:19,724 --> 00:43:20,224
recall

1202
00:43:20,925 --> 00:43:22,704
semi recently when FetLife

1203
00:43:23,005 --> 00:43:23,905
had to wipe

1204
00:43:24,684 --> 00:43:27,389
certain kinks completely off the site. Couldn't

1205
00:43:27,949 --> 00:43:30,109
mentioned, couldn't be linked to, could no pic

1206
00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:31,630
none of it. Couldn't have any of it.

1207
00:43:31,630 --> 00:43:32,690
And I remember

1208
00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:34,609
Yeah. Kinksters being

1209
00:43:34,909 --> 00:43:36,210
livid. And I don't

1210
00:43:36,589 --> 00:43:37,089
even

1211
00:43:37,389 --> 00:43:39,630
if to me those were very those were

1212
00:43:39,630 --> 00:43:41,309
extreme kinks. Other people would go, no. Not

1213
00:43:41,309 --> 00:43:42,614
if you know what you're doing. And blah.

1214
00:43:43,175 --> 00:43:46,315
Right? And I understood people's anger,

1215
00:43:47,735 --> 00:43:50,295
but I also understood where FetLife was coming

1216
00:43:50,295 --> 00:43:51,114
from because

1217
00:43:51,735 --> 00:43:54,855
they had people outside of their control dictating

1218
00:43:54,855 --> 00:43:56,534
what they had to do. And so this

1219
00:43:56,534 --> 00:43:59,159
is a ripple effect. So FetLife controls its

1220
00:43:59,159 --> 00:43:59,659
space,

1221
00:44:00,359 --> 00:44:02,679
and it gets to it's it's sandbox. It

1222
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:04,840
FetLife gets to make their own rules, but

1223
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,519
they are also controlled in this case by

1224
00:44:06,519 --> 00:44:09,340
the payment processors Right. The credit card companies,

1225
00:44:09,494 --> 00:44:11,195
the banks, financial institutions.

1226
00:44:12,135 --> 00:44:14,535
And as somebody who has been kicked off

1227
00:44:14,535 --> 00:44:15,515
many a thing

1228
00:44:15,815 --> 00:44:17,755
because we do kink and sex stuff,

1229
00:44:18,375 --> 00:44:19,355
financial institutions

1230
00:44:19,735 --> 00:44:22,380
don't like kink and sex stuff. Right? Right.

1231
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:25,019
Even if it's it's And and they're responsible

1232
00:44:25,019 --> 00:44:26,400
kink and sex. To a certain extent,

1233
00:44:27,019 --> 00:44:29,179
you know, you can't blame them. I mean,

1234
00:44:29,179 --> 00:44:31,119
things like, you know, was it Weinstein?

1235
00:44:31,739 --> 00:44:33,819
Ugh, gross. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Epstein and,

1236
00:44:33,819 --> 00:44:35,739
you know, all these things that are happening.

1237
00:44:35,739 --> 00:44:36,880
Those people. You know, so

1238
00:44:37,565 --> 00:44:38,385
so the banks,

1239
00:44:38,684 --> 00:44:40,125
you know, they they wanna Well, do you

1240
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:41,565
wanna know what it really comes from? It's

1241
00:44:41,724 --> 00:44:43,244
and I don't know how I don't know

1242
00:44:43,244 --> 00:44:45,825
the details on this. But what is said

1243
00:44:46,364 --> 00:44:48,525
is that a lot of fraud and a

1244
00:44:48,525 --> 00:44:51,585
lot of scams and a lot of theft

1245
00:44:53,090 --> 00:44:54,469
comes through high risk

1246
00:44:55,410 --> 00:44:58,210
industries and websites, and sex, kink, stuff like

1247
00:44:58,210 --> 00:45:01,170
that is in that. In that bracket. Right.

1248
00:45:01,170 --> 00:45:03,489
Okay. So that is not fair though to

1249
00:45:03,489 --> 00:45:04,230
paint everybody

1250
00:45:09,045 --> 00:45:09,111
with the same brush. And Right. Thankfully, there

1251
00:45:09,111 --> 00:45:09,164
are companies who are, you know, willing to

1252
00:45:09,164 --> 00:45:09,525
work with us so we can still be

1253
00:45:09,525 --> 00:45:10,585
in business on the Internet.

1254
00:45:10,965 --> 00:45:13,605
But in that case, it was my understanding

1255
00:45:13,605 --> 00:45:16,905
was it's fairly big. Financial institutions were dictating

1256
00:45:17,045 --> 00:45:17,545
FetLife's

1257
00:45:18,539 --> 00:45:20,780
actions. And FetLife said, I wanna continue to

1258
00:45:20,780 --> 00:45:21,760
have a sandbox

1259
00:45:22,059 --> 00:45:23,119
to play in.

1260
00:45:23,660 --> 00:45:26,380
Mhmm. And there is nobody to go to

1261
00:45:26,380 --> 00:45:29,260
other than whoever it was. I'm gonna abide

1262
00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:31,099
by their rules. And that's such that's gonna

1263
00:45:31,099 --> 00:45:32,800
trickle down in some of those cases.

1264
00:45:33,364 --> 00:45:33,864
So,

1265
00:45:34,484 --> 00:45:36,184
you know, it's where I go back to,

1266
00:45:37,924 --> 00:45:39,944
the insurance company of a dungeon

1267
00:45:40,405 --> 00:45:42,324
might dictate what they will allow in that

1268
00:45:42,324 --> 00:45:44,324
space regardless of the law, regardless of what

1269
00:45:44,324 --> 00:45:46,324
the person who owns the space is willing

1270
00:45:46,324 --> 00:45:46,679
to do.

1271
00:45:47,639 --> 00:45:49,880
And so there will be outside factors just

1272
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,139
as much as anything else. So the control

1273
00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:54,460
is only

1274
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,400
applicable in a space that some in somebody

1275
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:58,940
else's sandbox. Right?

1276
00:46:00,125 --> 00:46:01,644
Which is scary because it means a lot

1277
00:46:01,644 --> 00:46:03,484
of crazy shit happens behind closed doors, but

1278
00:46:03,484 --> 00:46:05,644
that's where all those headlines come from. People

1279
00:46:05,644 --> 00:46:07,505
who Yeah. You know, who because

1280
00:46:08,925 --> 00:46:11,244
oh, god. I I read one and I

1281
00:46:11,244 --> 00:46:13,139
was just like, wait. I learned this lesson

1282
00:46:13,139 --> 00:46:14,980
at five. How did you not know this

1283
00:46:14,980 --> 00:46:16,679
lesson? They were playing with choking

1284
00:46:16,980 --> 00:46:17,799
and asphyxiation

1285
00:46:18,980 --> 00:46:21,000
and plastic bag overhead.

1286
00:46:22,739 --> 00:46:25,299
I look. I know not everybody has all

1287
00:46:25,299 --> 00:46:26,599
of the same access to information.

1288
00:46:26,994 --> 00:46:28,355
I do not know how you get to

1289
00:46:28,355 --> 00:46:30,994
the big age of, like, 50 or 60.

1290
00:46:30,994 --> 00:46:33,234
I can't remember. It's it happens too frequently.

1291
00:46:33,234 --> 00:46:34,434
I can't keep up with who all they

1292
00:46:34,434 --> 00:46:36,295
were. And you don't know

1293
00:46:37,074 --> 00:46:37,574
that

1294
00:46:37,954 --> 00:46:39,869
we don't do that. We don't put plastic

1295
00:46:40,349 --> 00:46:44,289
bags over our fucking face. Right? Yeah. But

1296
00:46:44,349 --> 00:46:46,510
that was behind closed doors, and it made

1297
00:46:46,510 --> 00:46:49,150
it out into the public sphere because there

1298
00:46:49,150 --> 00:46:51,789
were criminal charges. Yeah. You know? I mean,

1299
00:46:51,789 --> 00:46:53,710
if I'm talking to tops and doms, that's

1300
00:46:53,710 --> 00:46:55,490
the thing I'd ask you to think about.

1301
00:46:56,085 --> 00:46:57,764
I want you to be ethical and responsible

1302
00:46:57,764 --> 00:46:58,744
and and care

1303
00:46:59,125 --> 00:47:01,204
as much or more about the person you're

1304
00:47:01,204 --> 00:47:03,625
about to do a thing to than yourself.

1305
00:47:04,005 --> 00:47:06,565
But also, wait, if this goes wrong, am

1306
00:47:06,565 --> 00:47:08,984
I gonna get arrested for this? Right.

1307
00:47:11,049 --> 00:47:12,730
You know? I mean, I here's the thing.

1308
00:47:12,730 --> 00:47:14,889
A person who's willing to, like, flout all

1309
00:47:14,889 --> 00:47:16,809
common sense probably is not thinking about that

1310
00:47:16,809 --> 00:47:19,130
either, but somebody will. And that's the thing.

1311
00:47:19,130 --> 00:47:21,130
We get peoples in people to change in

1312
00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:22,730
drips and drabs. You get one at a

1313
00:47:22,730 --> 00:47:24,730
time. We can't I can't walk into a

1314
00:47:24,730 --> 00:47:27,355
space and 20 dumbasses who are like, yeah.

1315
00:47:27,355 --> 00:47:29,034
Let me zit you in the in the

1316
00:47:29,034 --> 00:47:29,534
pacemaker.

1317
00:47:30,394 --> 00:47:31,674
Not all 20 are gonna agree with me,

1318
00:47:31,674 --> 00:47:33,114
but maybe I get five. Well, then maybe

1319
00:47:33,114 --> 00:47:35,355
we save five people's lives that day. Right.

1320
00:47:35,355 --> 00:47:36,474
You know? And that's

1321
00:47:36,795 --> 00:47:38,894
Yeah. It's a it's a ripple effect.

1322
00:47:40,489 --> 00:47:42,730
So Yeah. And I mean, you know, you

1323
00:47:42,730 --> 00:47:44,569
you don't know what to say in in

1324
00:47:44,569 --> 00:47:46,730
a case like this. Is is this a

1325
00:47:46,730 --> 00:47:47,710
case of

1326
00:47:48,010 --> 00:47:49,389
not being educated?

1327
00:47:49,690 --> 00:47:50,190
Mhmm.

1328
00:47:50,489 --> 00:47:52,730
Or is this a case of two people

1329
00:47:52,730 --> 00:47:53,469
just being

1330
00:47:54,704 --> 00:47:55,825
Dumas' and,

1331
00:47:56,785 --> 00:47:57,285
Dumas'

1332
00:48:00,305 --> 00:48:00,805
Were

1333
00:48:04,545 --> 00:48:07,105
you tired of my dumbass? Some way of

1334
00:48:07,105 --> 00:48:08,005
saying it.

1335
00:48:08,545 --> 00:48:10,670
Look. Look. If you're gonna be a dumbass,

1336
00:48:10,889 --> 00:48:12,889
I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. I'm gonna say

1337
00:48:12,889 --> 00:48:13,389
dumbass.

1338
00:48:14,010 --> 00:48:15,449
Okay? Yeah. My thing is always I'd rather

1339
00:48:15,449 --> 00:48:16,989
be a smartass than a dumbass.

1340
00:48:18,409 --> 00:48:20,349
And that's my whole life's philosophy.

1341
00:48:20,889 --> 00:48:22,485
And you do it well. I do. I

1342
00:48:22,485 --> 00:48:23,945
do. I'm very good at it.

1343
00:48:27,684 --> 00:48:29,864
But, yeah, that so we go back to

1344
00:48:30,164 --> 00:48:31,445
I got paranoid. I had to go look

1345
00:48:31,445 --> 00:48:32,805
at our screen, make sure the camera was

1346
00:48:32,805 --> 00:48:33,465
still working.

1347
00:48:34,405 --> 00:48:35,684
You know, who gets to make that call?

1348
00:48:35,684 --> 00:48:37,465
That's a public space thing. Yeah.

1349
00:48:38,780 --> 00:48:40,480
Policing personal autonomy.

1350
00:48:41,420 --> 00:48:42,000
You know,

1351
00:48:43,420 --> 00:48:45,440
when I think about the policing personal autonomy

1352
00:48:45,820 --> 00:48:46,320
thing,

1353
00:48:46,940 --> 00:48:47,920
it really is

1354
00:48:48,780 --> 00:48:50,940
you get to do to yourself whatever the

1355
00:48:50,940 --> 00:48:52,394
fuck you want even if I think you're

1356
00:48:52,394 --> 00:48:54,454
a dumbass or a demoss.

1357
00:48:57,315 --> 00:49:00,295
But when your actions impact somebody else,

1358
00:49:01,074 --> 00:49:01,574
and

1359
00:49:02,594 --> 00:49:04,835
when we talk about consent, I'll probably I

1360
00:49:04,835 --> 00:49:06,434
will give side eye and call both of

1361
00:49:06,434 --> 00:49:08,359
them dumb asses. If both

1362
00:49:08,739 --> 00:49:11,559
parties of the scene knew the seriousness

1363
00:49:11,859 --> 00:49:13,539
of the risks and still did it together,

1364
00:49:13,539 --> 00:49:15,940
well, you're both stupid. Okay. I hope you

1365
00:49:15,940 --> 00:49:17,859
do not find out now that you fucked

1366
00:49:17,859 --> 00:49:18,980
around. I hope that for you because I

1367
00:49:18,980 --> 00:49:20,760
don't want anybody to come to harm.

1368
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:21,875
But

1369
00:49:22,655 --> 00:49:24,735
the thing I'm gonna lean towards the most

1370
00:49:24,735 --> 00:49:26,514
because I think it's the most common

1371
00:49:26,894 --> 00:49:29,454
is one party has all the information or

1372
00:49:29,454 --> 00:49:30,275
more information

1373
00:49:30,894 --> 00:49:33,135
than the other one and is that party

1374
00:49:33,135 --> 00:49:36,519
sharing it. So everybody is understanding exactly what

1375
00:49:36,519 --> 00:49:39,159
they're consenting to. And that to me is

1376
00:49:39,159 --> 00:49:39,659
is

1377
00:49:40,359 --> 00:49:43,079
a big problem. How many tops and so

1378
00:49:43,079 --> 00:49:43,980
called doms

1379
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:46,460
know what they're not supposed to do

1380
00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:48,599
and but they don't they don't make sure

1381
00:49:48,599 --> 00:49:49,034
their

1382
00:49:49,914 --> 00:49:51,434
question them and go, hey. I know this

1383
00:49:51,434 --> 00:49:52,554
is a thing. I know I we can't

1384
00:49:52,554 --> 00:49:53,914
do this if you have a pacemaker. Do

1385
00:49:53,914 --> 00:49:56,635
you have a pacemaker? Mhmm. And the partner

1386
00:49:56,635 --> 00:49:58,714
goes, yeah. I do. And they go, never

1387
00:49:58,714 --> 00:50:00,655
mind. Or, you know,

1388
00:50:01,359 --> 00:50:03,280
I just and that comes back to the

1389
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,500
responsibility side of the individual. And, man,

1390
00:50:07,599 --> 00:50:09,619
having to wait for all of the individuals

1391
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:10,579
to have

1392
00:50:12,079 --> 00:50:13,300
a healthy level

1393
00:50:14,755 --> 00:50:15,335
of responsibility

1394
00:50:15,715 --> 00:50:16,215
is

1395
00:50:16,914 --> 00:50:19,554
is rough because it's never everybody who's, you

1396
00:50:19,554 --> 00:50:21,715
know, not doing what's right. It is a

1397
00:50:21,715 --> 00:50:23,974
small few, but they impact all of us.

1398
00:50:24,195 --> 00:50:25,175
Tire rules

1399
00:50:25,875 --> 00:50:26,454
and regulations

1400
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:30,380
are created because a few people are Dumas'.

1401
00:50:30,679 --> 00:50:31,179
Okay?

1402
00:50:34,679 --> 00:50:35,500
So yeah.

1403
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:37,260
So that's what

1404
00:50:37,559 --> 00:50:38,539
what I would

1405
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:40,059
say. Mhmm.

1406
00:50:40,679 --> 00:50:42,405
Anything you would say? No. Anything you would

1407
00:50:42,405 --> 00:50:42,905
say?

1408
00:50:43,605 --> 00:50:44,105
So,

1409
00:50:45,364 --> 00:50:47,144
I got myself heated. You did.

1410
00:50:47,925 --> 00:50:50,005
We're gonna do a bonus section. Worked yourself

1411
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:51,765
up a little bit there. Yep. Before we

1412
00:50:51,765 --> 00:50:53,545
go into our bonus section, two things.

1413
00:50:53,925 --> 00:50:55,364
If you were like, oh, this was a

1414
00:50:55,364 --> 00:50:56,965
good topic and, oh, I'm glad we have

1415
00:50:56,965 --> 00:50:58,030
this discussion.

1416
00:50:58,329 --> 00:51:01,130
Go, like, follow Rara. Go check out the

1417
00:51:01,130 --> 00:51:02,829
podcast. Go follow our socials.

1418
00:51:03,609 --> 00:51:05,130
Go. Go. The link is in the Right

1419
00:51:05,130 --> 00:51:07,530
now. Right now. Do just do what daddy

1420
00:51:07,530 --> 00:51:08,030
said.

1421
00:51:09,574 --> 00:51:11,255
And, also, if you're like, yeah. I do

1422
00:51:11,255 --> 00:51:12,614
need to learn a little bit more about

1423
00:51:12,614 --> 00:51:13,594
some things, consider,

1424
00:51:14,134 --> 00:51:16,375
the BDSM boot camp. Jump start your BDSM

1425
00:51:16,375 --> 00:51:16,875
journey.

1426
00:51:17,734 --> 00:51:19,414
At least check it out to see because,

1427
00:51:19,414 --> 00:51:19,994
you know,

1428
00:51:20,534 --> 00:51:22,134
what it is about is there on the

1429
00:51:22,134 --> 00:51:23,894
page. If you're like, yeah. I could use

1430
00:51:23,894 --> 00:51:25,510
some of it. It's free. It starts July

1431
00:51:25,510 --> 00:51:26,000
14.

1432
00:51:27,500 --> 00:51:29,099
I apologize now if you're on our email

1433
00:51:29,099 --> 00:51:30,699
list. You will hear about it a few

1434
00:51:30,699 --> 00:51:31,199
times.

1435
00:51:32,219 --> 00:51:34,480
Okay. We we can go into

1436
00:51:35,019 --> 00:51:37,340
the bonus section. Where's that? I don't know

1437
00:51:37,340 --> 00:51:39,275
where it is. You're the man who does

1438
00:51:39,275 --> 00:51:41,994
the buttons. Mhmm. Without the buttons. I mean,

1439
00:51:41,994 --> 00:51:43,434
I just push them because that's what I

1440
00:51:43,434 --> 00:51:44,335
do. You do.

1441
00:51:46,075 --> 00:51:48,335
So, are we good? I don't know.

1442
00:51:49,835 --> 00:51:51,434
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1443
00:51:51,434 --> 00:51:52,255
next week.

1444
00:52:01,119 --> 00:52:01,619
Daughter.

1445
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:03,940
Mhmm. Can we talk to the crickets?

1446
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,480
Can I go run and get a hair

1447
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:06,980
tie?

1448
00:52:08,074 --> 00:52:09,434
I'll grab it for you. Do you know

1449
00:52:09,434 --> 00:52:10,974
where it is? No.

1450
00:52:11,594 --> 00:52:14,554
No. You're not gonna wander this house. See,

1451
00:52:14,554 --> 00:52:16,074
I'm happy to send you if you would

1452
00:52:16,074 --> 00:52:17,835
prefer to walk away and leave me alone

1453
00:52:17,835 --> 00:52:19,275
again. Yeah. But I would like to send

1454
00:52:19,275 --> 00:52:20,795
you to the correct place. Okay. Top of

1455
00:52:20,795 --> 00:52:23,458
my vanity, there should be a hair tie.

1456
00:52:23,458 --> 00:52:26,478
Okay. Thank you. I need to start keeping

1457
00:52:26,478 --> 00:52:29,498
some in here. Mhmm. But I also can't

1458
00:52:29,498 --> 00:52:32,519
trust that I can keep some in here

1459
00:52:32,519 --> 00:52:34,407
because once Onyx finds it

1460
00:52:34,864 --> 00:52:36,304
if I'm lucky, I find it the next

1461
00:52:36,304 --> 00:52:37,905
day maybe on the floor or, like, a

1462
00:52:37,905 --> 00:52:39,344
couple feet away from where I left it,

1463
00:52:39,344 --> 00:52:41,444
but sometimes I never see it again.

1464
00:52:42,385 --> 00:52:43,444
I made myself

1465
00:52:43,905 --> 00:52:44,964
very hot

1466
00:52:45,585 --> 00:52:47,505
having that conversation. You know what? I knew

1467
00:52:47,505 --> 00:52:48,244
that I would,

1468
00:52:49,264 --> 00:52:49,764
because

1469
00:52:50,190 --> 00:52:51,949
when I when I finally, like, sat down

1470
00:52:51,949 --> 00:52:54,190
and started thinking it through, like, what what

1471
00:52:54,190 --> 00:52:56,269
would an episode on this be like, I

1472
00:52:56,269 --> 00:52:58,429
started having thoughts. I started having thoughts, and

1473
00:52:58,429 --> 00:53:01,329
I could feel the intensity of the thoughts.

1474
00:53:01,469 --> 00:53:03,230
And then when I was talking to JB

1475
00:53:03,230 --> 00:53:04,670
about it, because actually he was the one

1476
00:53:04,670 --> 00:53:06,125
that was like, you know, we should do

1477
00:53:06,125 --> 00:53:07,585
that. Let's talk about that.

1478
00:53:07,965 --> 00:53:10,844
He started, like, getting a little intense and

1479
00:53:10,844 --> 00:53:12,284
I was like, yeah. But now I'm hot

1480
00:53:12,284 --> 00:53:13,585
and sweaty as a result.

1481
00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:15,885
So what would you like to share with

1482
00:53:15,885 --> 00:53:17,425
the class in the bonus section?

1483
00:53:18,364 --> 00:53:20,284
So and actually the reason why I wanted

1484
00:53:20,284 --> 00:53:22,050
to get it was so I could peek

1485
00:53:22,050 --> 00:53:24,019
out the door. You gotta tell folks why

1486
00:53:24,019 --> 00:53:26,019
you're peeking out the door and being obsessed

1487
00:53:26,019 --> 00:53:27,160
with our front door?

1488
00:53:27,780 --> 00:53:28,280
So,

1489
00:53:30,980 --> 00:53:33,079
I have a new toy on the way.

1490
00:53:33,140 --> 00:53:35,140
Not that kind of toy, y'all? No. No.

1491
00:53:35,140 --> 00:53:35,894
Goddamn. I wish.

1492
00:53:36,695 --> 00:53:37,255
Wish. Yeah.

1493
00:53:37,655 --> 00:53:39,594
My lathe has been dying.

1494
00:53:40,775 --> 00:53:42,215
It is dying. If you don't know what

1495
00:53:42,215 --> 00:53:43,815
a lathe is, it's a spinning thing. That's

1496
00:53:43,815 --> 00:53:45,655
how he's able to, like A wood lathe.

1497
00:53:45,735 --> 00:53:47,735
Make handles and make pens and make things

1498
00:53:47,735 --> 00:53:48,934
that happen to be round. And all angles

1499
00:53:48,934 --> 00:53:51,670
and Mhmm. Make round things. All that kind

1500
00:53:51,670 --> 00:53:53,110
of stuff. Mhmm. And,

1501
00:53:54,469 --> 00:53:54,869
it's,

1502
00:53:56,309 --> 00:53:58,150
it it's been dying, and,

1503
00:53:58,869 --> 00:54:00,230
I have a new one on the way.

1504
00:54:00,230 --> 00:54:01,910
When you got it, we we were both

1505
00:54:01,910 --> 00:54:03,349
under the impression it was a very high

1506
00:54:03,349 --> 00:54:05,110
quality brand. It was a well known, but

1507
00:54:05,269 --> 00:54:05,510
Mhmm.

1508
00:54:06,764 --> 00:54:07,264
Mhmm.

1509
00:54:07,885 --> 00:54:08,885
And then we learned otherwise. So you actually

1510
00:54:08,885 --> 00:54:10,764
got to upgrade Yeah. On this one. Mhmm.

1511
00:54:10,764 --> 00:54:12,605
So that was cool. Yes. And, you know,

1512
00:54:12,605 --> 00:54:13,824
we are

1513
00:54:14,204 --> 00:54:17,085
are and have to be very circumspect about

1514
00:54:17,085 --> 00:54:19,005
when we have to replace a tool because

1515
00:54:19,005 --> 00:54:19,980
that is a

1516
00:54:20,300 --> 00:54:21,440
financial investment.

1517
00:54:21,739 --> 00:54:24,539
Mhmm. And sometimes we'll wait well, basically, we'll

1518
00:54:24,539 --> 00:54:26,059
mostly wait as long as we can until

1519
00:54:26,059 --> 00:54:27,039
we don't have a choice.

1520
00:54:27,820 --> 00:54:28,320
But

1521
00:54:29,420 --> 00:54:30,940
JB makes a lot of things on the

1522
00:54:30,940 --> 00:54:33,420
lathe, but the thing that has the things

1523
00:54:33,420 --> 00:54:35,065
that have been the most popular for kinkery,

1524
00:54:35,065 --> 00:54:36,184
the kinkery.com,

1525
00:54:37,545 --> 00:54:39,704
were suffering as a result. It was harder

1526
00:54:39,704 --> 00:54:41,485
to make them. Yeah. And I was like,

1527
00:54:41,784 --> 00:54:42,985
but I need you to make me, like,

1528
00:54:42,985 --> 00:54:45,385
50 of them. And that's diabolical sticks, that's

1529
00:54:45,385 --> 00:54:47,784
evil sticks, that's canes, that's canes of the

1530
00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:48,284
red,

1531
00:54:48,985 --> 00:54:51,090
resin handles for canes. I was like, no.

1532
00:54:51,090 --> 00:54:52,849
No. No. I can't. I literally cannot keep

1533
00:54:52,849 --> 00:54:55,489
these in stock. We cannot have a tool

1534
00:54:55,489 --> 00:54:57,430
that cannot do the job. Right.

1535
00:54:58,130 --> 00:54:59,970
Right. Right. I mean, I did the math.

1536
00:54:59,970 --> 00:55:00,789
I was like,

1537
00:55:01,170 --> 00:55:02,769
x number of sales, and we've made the

1538
00:55:02,769 --> 00:55:05,035
money back for it. So it we have

1539
00:55:05,035 --> 00:55:07,114
to do it. Yeah. So it it's on

1540
00:55:07,114 --> 00:55:07,755
the way, and,

1541
00:55:08,235 --> 00:55:09,775
supposedly, it's supposed to be here

1542
00:55:10,155 --> 00:55:10,894
this evening.

1543
00:55:11,355 --> 00:55:13,515
Yeah. Because it was coming from Clearwater, which

1544
00:55:13,515 --> 00:55:15,295
is not that far away from us.

1545
00:55:16,130 --> 00:55:16,630
No.

1546
00:55:17,730 --> 00:55:18,130
So,

1547
00:55:18,530 --> 00:55:19,570
yeah. That that's what,

1548
00:55:20,050 --> 00:55:21,969
kind of that's what I've been waiting on.

1549
00:55:21,969 --> 00:55:22,469
Mhmm.

1550
00:55:23,489 --> 00:55:24,630
Mhmm. Yep. Yep.

1551
00:55:25,010 --> 00:55:25,510
And,

1552
00:55:26,530 --> 00:55:27,489
yeah. That's,

1553
00:55:28,530 --> 00:55:30,664
kinda been what I've been doing. Yeah.

1554
00:55:30,965 --> 00:55:32,985
Yeah. Like a little kid. Mhmm.

1555
00:55:35,125 --> 00:55:36,184
You do a thing

1556
00:55:36,965 --> 00:55:38,804
at the where you go to the front

1557
00:55:38,804 --> 00:55:40,885
door. So our front door, there's also a

1558
00:55:40,885 --> 00:55:41,385
window,

1559
00:55:41,765 --> 00:55:43,204
like, right in the foyer that you can

1560
00:55:43,204 --> 00:55:44,485
kinda look out on one side of the

1561
00:55:44,644 --> 00:55:46,269
Mhmm. The neighborhood, the neighbors.

1562
00:55:46,969 --> 00:55:49,550
JB pretty much up the street Yeah. JB

1563
00:55:49,690 --> 00:55:51,630
loves to just go stand by that window.

1564
00:55:53,289 --> 00:55:55,050
I think if you thought you had time

1565
00:55:55,050 --> 00:55:56,409
and could kinda get away with it without

1566
00:55:56,409 --> 00:55:57,929
people being weird, you would stand out on

1567
00:55:57,929 --> 00:55:59,465
the driveway more just to kinda see what's

1568
00:55:59,465 --> 00:56:01,224
happening in the neighborhood. Yeah. But you can

1569
00:56:01,224 --> 00:56:02,585
do it from the house where, you know

1570
00:56:02,744 --> 00:56:04,184
Yeah. It's not hot. And and you know

1571
00:56:04,184 --> 00:56:06,105
what? If we had and I often thought

1572
00:56:06,105 --> 00:56:06,844
of that because,

1573
00:56:09,465 --> 00:56:10,844
my my first house,

1574
00:56:11,309 --> 00:56:13,150
I used to love sitting out on the

1575
00:56:13,150 --> 00:56:14,690
front front porch.

1576
00:56:15,070 --> 00:56:16,670
That house had a front porch, and I

1577
00:56:16,670 --> 00:56:18,750
had a little bistro table and, you know,

1578
00:56:18,750 --> 00:56:20,430
a couple chairs out there. And I I

1579
00:56:20,430 --> 00:56:22,030
used to love to sit out there and

1580
00:56:22,349 --> 00:56:23,730
I'm a back porch girly.

1581
00:56:24,635 --> 00:56:26,014
Because on the front porch,

1582
00:56:26,635 --> 00:56:28,554
somebody's gonna see you and wanna say hi.

1583
00:56:28,554 --> 00:56:30,074
Why would I put myself through that? That's

1584
00:56:30,074 --> 00:56:32,474
not relaxing. Yeah. JB love I don't know

1585
00:56:32,474 --> 00:56:34,234
if you love it, but you give the

1586
00:56:34,234 --> 00:56:37,429
impression that you real quick to say hi,

1587
00:56:37,489 --> 00:56:39,650
to wave, to we were working in the

1588
00:56:39,650 --> 00:56:41,269
garage together pouring cane handles.

1589
00:56:41,570 --> 00:56:41,969
And,

1590
00:56:42,769 --> 00:56:44,210
it was a time of day when people

1591
00:56:44,210 --> 00:56:45,329
are going to work, you know. It's just

1592
00:56:45,730 --> 00:56:47,570
Yeah. And JB, every time he saw a

1593
00:56:47,570 --> 00:56:49,304
cart, that hand went up. And it did,

1594
00:56:49,304 --> 00:56:50,284
It's this big

1595
00:56:50,824 --> 00:56:52,905
movement so that people could possibly see it.

1596
00:56:52,905 --> 00:56:54,664
And I'm like, nope. Nope. I'm just gonna

1597
00:56:54,664 --> 00:56:56,824
sit right here at my little table, and

1598
00:56:56,824 --> 00:56:58,744
I'm a stir resin and pretend that They're

1599
00:56:58,744 --> 00:57:00,184
they're waving at me, so I'm not gonna

1600
00:57:00,184 --> 00:57:02,449
be, you know, I'm gonna because you are

1601
00:57:02,449 --> 00:57:04,609
the one. They I'm pretty I don't sure

1602
00:57:04,609 --> 00:57:06,210
they don't have any opinion of me in

1603
00:57:06,210 --> 00:57:08,449
general, but any any of them that might,

1604
00:57:08,449 --> 00:57:10,630
it's mostly that I am probably a bitch.

1605
00:57:11,089 --> 00:57:13,190
I am I am superficial

1606
00:57:16,015 --> 00:57:18,494
figure you're a figment of my imagination. No.

1607
00:57:18,494 --> 00:57:21,394
They see me too often. Look, I'm not

1608
00:57:22,175 --> 00:57:23,934
I have the ability, as much as I

1609
00:57:23,934 --> 00:57:26,195
might hate it, most of the time,

1610
00:57:26,969 --> 00:57:28,570
if if a neighbor comes up, I can

1611
00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:30,809
be the superficially polite, but then I'm running

1612
00:57:30,809 --> 00:57:32,170
for the hills. Every once in a while,

1613
00:57:32,170 --> 00:57:33,369
there's a day I just can't do it.

1614
00:57:33,369 --> 00:57:36,170
Like, I, I don't I I can't. It's

1615
00:57:36,170 --> 00:57:37,530
not a I don't want to. It's an

1616
00:57:37,530 --> 00:57:38,190
I can't.

1617
00:57:38,489 --> 00:57:38,989
But

1618
00:57:39,305 --> 00:57:41,224
if I know that I can, I will?

1619
00:57:41,224 --> 00:57:42,985
I'm not, you know, because look. The thing

1620
00:57:42,985 --> 00:57:43,485
about

1621
00:57:44,265 --> 00:57:45,724
a neighborhood where

1622
00:57:46,025 --> 00:57:48,425
it's pretty steady, most people are there for

1623
00:57:48,425 --> 00:57:49,405
literal years.

1624
00:57:49,704 --> 00:57:52,025
There could come a point at any time,

1625
00:57:52,025 --> 00:57:54,359
at any point where one of us needs

1626
00:57:54,359 --> 00:57:55,019
the other.

1627
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:58,119
And I'm not gonna alienate any fucking body.

1628
00:57:58,119 --> 00:57:59,960
Now I'm not gonna try and wave to

1629
00:57:59,960 --> 00:58:02,139
them and be friendly. But I, you know,

1630
00:58:02,199 --> 00:58:03,719
I want them to know I exist and

1631
00:58:03,719 --> 00:58:05,835
I'm not a complete bitch. You know?

1632
00:58:06,454 --> 00:58:08,375
A partial bitch? I think we can all

1633
00:58:08,375 --> 00:58:10,474
be forgiving of a slight bitch.

1634
00:58:11,015 --> 00:58:13,255
But, like, if something happened, I, you know,

1635
00:58:13,255 --> 00:58:14,855
I do need to, like, know what the

1636
00:58:14,855 --> 00:58:16,614
neighbor looks like to know. Can I run

1637
00:58:16,614 --> 00:58:18,289
across the street? Can somebody help me pick

1638
00:58:18,289 --> 00:58:20,050
JB up off the ground or something? I

1639
00:58:20,050 --> 00:58:20,630
don't know.

1640
00:58:22,289 --> 00:58:23,889
But but, you know, the nice thing is

1641
00:58:23,889 --> 00:58:25,489
the the neighbors that you will have the

1642
00:58:25,489 --> 00:58:27,650
best relationships with where you talk the most

1643
00:58:27,650 --> 00:58:28,469
and it

1644
00:58:28,849 --> 00:58:30,855
they're the ones I like the best. Mhmm.

1645
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:33,914
Is it because we have similar politics, maybe?

1646
00:58:34,695 --> 00:58:36,934
We're like this little blue dot on our

1647
00:58:36,934 --> 00:58:38,855
street, and there's, like, at least three houses,

1648
00:58:38,855 --> 00:58:40,695
and we There's Sometimes we come together and

1649
00:58:40,695 --> 00:58:42,394
go over the probably, what, about

1650
00:58:43,809 --> 00:58:46,289
several dozen houses on the street? On this

1651
00:58:46,289 --> 00:58:48,449
street, I would say no more than two

1652
00:58:48,449 --> 00:58:48,949
dozen.

1653
00:58:49,329 --> 00:58:52,210
And, out of that, there's there's like three,

1654
00:58:52,210 --> 00:58:53,589
maybe four of us.

1655
00:58:55,329 --> 00:58:55,829
Mhmm.

1656
00:58:57,010 --> 00:58:57,510
Yeah.

1657
00:58:58,155 --> 00:58:59,375
So, you know,

1658
00:58:59,675 --> 00:59:00,175
but,

1659
00:59:01,195 --> 00:59:04,155
yeah. And, you know, I've been work doing

1660
00:59:04,155 --> 00:59:06,474
a lot in the shop Mhmm. As much

1661
00:59:06,474 --> 00:59:08,335
as I can with the heat. Mhmm.

1662
00:59:09,675 --> 00:59:11,535
I have been digging through the garage.

1663
00:59:12,260 --> 00:59:13,300
I love it when you use up wood

1664
00:59:13,300 --> 00:59:15,219
that you forgot you even know. I've I've

1665
00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,219
I've just been digging through stuff. I've you

1666
00:59:17,219 --> 00:59:18,579
know, no. It it's it's,

1667
00:59:20,099 --> 00:59:23,079
I'm I'm on this. It's time to clean

1668
00:59:23,300 --> 00:59:23,960
the clutter.

1669
00:59:25,859 --> 00:59:28,194
Mhmm. Well, and, you know, it's summer time

1670
00:59:28,434 --> 00:59:30,194
normally, I would say summer time is our

1671
00:59:30,194 --> 00:59:31,795
slow time, and then we had an excellent

1672
00:59:31,795 --> 00:59:33,714
June. Mhmm. Our summer sale helped, but we

1673
00:59:33,714 --> 00:59:35,234
had an excellent June. So I don't know

1674
00:59:35,234 --> 00:59:36,835
what the rest of the summer's gonna bring.

1675
00:59:36,835 --> 00:59:37,894
But in summer,

1676
00:59:38,514 --> 00:59:41,714
short of wood lathes dying, we try not

1677
00:59:41,714 --> 00:59:42,295
to spend

1678
00:59:42,674 --> 00:59:44,869
a lot if we can. Even though that's

1679
00:59:44,869 --> 00:59:46,309
also the time we need to be preparing

1680
00:59:46,309 --> 00:59:48,090
for the holidays, which is very frustrating.

1681
00:59:48,789 --> 00:59:50,890
But I've noticed in the summer,

1682
00:59:52,309 --> 00:59:54,470
primarily, that is when you tend to focus

1683
00:59:54,470 --> 00:59:56,070
on your scrap piles and what do I

1684
00:59:56,070 --> 00:59:57,510
have because then we don't have to go

1685
00:59:57,510 --> 00:59:59,743
to the saw mill and we can we

1686
00:59:59,743 --> 01:00:02,004
can get some stuff out, you know, and

1687
01:00:02,004 --> 01:00:04,265
clear some shelves and, you know, stuff like

1688
01:00:04,265 --> 01:00:06,525
that. Because a lot a lot of times,

1689
01:00:06,525 --> 01:00:08,786
you know, working with the stuff, it's gonna

1690
01:00:08,786 --> 01:00:11,000
be, you know, have a piece left over

1691
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:12,440
and, like, okay. Well, I'll set this over

1692
01:00:12,440 --> 01:00:13,639
here for right now and get to it

1693
01:00:13,639 --> 01:00:15,960
later. And, you know, and the next time

1694
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:17,639
up, I'll set this over here and get

1695
01:00:17,639 --> 01:00:19,559
get to it later. And and, you know,

1696
01:00:19,559 --> 01:00:21,880
I I I often tease him because he'll

1697
01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:23,400
go, I forgot I had this. And I'm,

1698
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:24,760
like, I how many times have I heard

1699
01:00:24,760 --> 01:00:26,324
that? But I get how that happens. When

1700
01:00:26,324 --> 01:00:28,505
you're a creative and you're constantly making stuff,

1701
01:00:28,804 --> 01:00:31,525
you gotta stash things, and then you've already

1702
01:00:31,525 --> 01:00:33,045
moved on to the next project, so you

1703
01:00:33,045 --> 01:00:34,885
forgot what that stash was. You have a

1704
01:00:35,125 --> 01:00:37,125
usually, you have a good habit of when

1705
01:00:37,125 --> 01:00:38,429
you know you gotta put something to the

1706
01:00:38,429 --> 01:00:39,789
side, it's not work you're not working on

1707
01:00:39,789 --> 01:00:41,230
it right then. You usually take, like, a

1708
01:00:41,230 --> 01:00:43,230
pencil and label it with what you intend

1709
01:00:43,230 --> 01:00:45,010
for it to be Right. Which

1710
01:00:45,469 --> 01:00:47,389
he had to learn the hard way that

1711
01:00:47,389 --> 01:00:49,650
I I don't know how to change direction

1712
01:00:50,525 --> 01:00:51,105
in midstream.

1713
01:00:51,405 --> 01:00:54,045
If you labeled the wood for one type

1714
01:00:54,045 --> 01:00:56,045
of paddle and now you're telling me it's

1715
01:00:56,045 --> 01:00:57,344
another type of paddle,

1716
01:00:57,644 --> 01:01:00,285
I need a minute to process that because

1717
01:01:00,285 --> 01:01:01,664
the label says

1718
01:01:02,525 --> 01:01:04,144
it's supposed to be this.

1719
01:01:06,410 --> 01:01:07,710
Just saying. Yeah.

1720
01:01:09,210 --> 01:01:09,710
Yeah.

1721
01:01:10,890 --> 01:01:12,570
Panda said in the live chat, the summer

1722
01:01:12,570 --> 01:01:14,809
slump for small businesses and content creators is

1723
01:01:14,809 --> 01:01:17,835
very real. Yeah. So true. And the it's

1724
01:01:17,994 --> 01:01:20,714
I still I know as a content creator

1725
01:01:20,714 --> 01:01:23,275
that there's a summer slump, and every summer

1726
01:01:23,275 --> 01:01:25,034
I go, oh my god. Do people just

1727
01:01:25,034 --> 01:01:27,994
now hate us? Because it gets so slow

1728
01:01:27,994 --> 01:01:29,434
in the summer. And then I have to

1729
01:01:29,434 --> 01:01:30,974
do the no. No. No. It's

1730
01:01:31,275 --> 01:01:32,094
at least for

1731
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:36,380
Northern Hemisphere. Is that how the globe works?

1732
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:37,659
It's summer for us.

1733
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:40,920
Where I'm like, no. No. No. It's summer.

1734
01:01:40,920 --> 01:01:43,000
People are off doing shit. Like, they've got

1735
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:44,519
people who with kids. We've got kids at

1736
01:01:44,519 --> 01:01:47,264
home now, and there's holidays and there's vacations

1737
01:01:47,264 --> 01:01:49,924
and all the shit going on. Nobody cares

1738
01:01:50,304 --> 01:01:51,444
in the summer.

1739
01:01:51,905 --> 01:01:53,264
So if you are a person who is

1740
01:01:53,264 --> 01:01:54,804
still keeping up with your content,

1741
01:01:55,824 --> 01:01:58,885
in the summer, we appreciate you because sometimes

1742
01:01:59,025 --> 01:02:01,025
you're like, is is this thing on? Is

1743
01:02:01,025 --> 01:02:02,039
anybody here?

1744
01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:05,260
But every every year, ten plus years,

1745
01:02:05,559 --> 01:02:07,640
because I've been doing content since before the

1746
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:08,140
podcast.

1747
01:02:08,519 --> 01:02:10,920
Ten plus years every summer, I have that

1748
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:12,539
thought of, oh, god. They hate me now.

1749
01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:14,894
I finally did it. I finally found the

1750
01:02:14,974 --> 01:02:16,494
the breaking point. I still don't know what

1751
01:02:16,494 --> 01:02:18,175
it was, but it's probably something stupid I

1752
01:02:18,175 --> 01:02:19,394
said in the last episode.

1753
01:02:19,695 --> 01:02:21,375
And, no, it's just the summer slump. So

1754
01:02:21,375 --> 01:02:23,614
the small business summer slump and the content

1755
01:02:23,614 --> 01:02:25,074
creator summer slump simultaneously

1756
01:02:25,775 --> 01:02:27,315
can be a little stressful.

1757
01:02:30,420 --> 01:02:32,199
But, yeah, our, our

1758
01:02:35,300 --> 01:02:35,800
June

1759
01:02:36,739 --> 01:02:37,880
sales for the kinkery,

1760
01:02:38,179 --> 01:02:40,260
because I I tracked that shit year over

1761
01:02:40,260 --> 01:02:43,000
year, quarter over quarter. Like, I'm watching it.

1762
01:02:43,985 --> 01:02:46,144
June is usually the worst month of the

1763
01:02:46,144 --> 01:02:47,664
year. If you saw our financials, you'd be

1764
01:02:47,664 --> 01:02:49,425
like, how'd you pay the mortgage that month?

1765
01:02:49,425 --> 01:02:50,244
Right. Bad.

1766
01:02:51,105 --> 01:02:53,605
Best best June we've ever had,

1767
01:02:54,704 --> 01:02:57,750
best sales of the year Yeah. Month monthly

1768
01:02:57,750 --> 01:02:59,510
sales. I was like, how is June the

1769
01:02:59,510 --> 01:03:01,030
best month so far? And we haven't had

1770
01:03:01,030 --> 01:03:02,949
bad months. Like, we're we're doing kind of

1771
01:03:02,949 --> 01:03:03,449
okay.

1772
01:03:04,150 --> 01:03:05,750
I don't know. And knock on wood on

1773
01:03:05,750 --> 01:03:07,510
all that. I do not wanna fucking jinx

1774
01:03:07,510 --> 01:03:08,250
us. But

1775
01:03:09,430 --> 01:03:09,930
no.

1776
01:03:12,565 --> 01:03:13,304
So yeah.

1777
01:03:13,764 --> 01:03:15,384
Little inside baseball frame.

1778
01:03:18,005 --> 01:03:18,964
Oh my god. My,

1779
01:03:19,605 --> 01:03:20,344
my mother

1780
01:03:20,724 --> 01:03:23,125
called me today and wanted to give the

1781
01:03:23,125 --> 01:03:25,444
the 15 year old will be 16 in

1782
01:03:25,444 --> 01:03:25,944
September.

1783
01:03:26,940 --> 01:03:29,260
The 19 year old will be 20 in

1784
01:03:29,260 --> 01:03:31,679
a couple of fucking weeks. Yeah. Jesus Christ.

1785
01:03:32,539 --> 01:03:35,019
But my mom wanted to give the 15

1786
01:03:35,019 --> 01:03:36,639
year old a dog

1787
01:03:37,099 --> 01:03:39,599
for their birthday. And I was like,

1788
01:03:40,704 --> 01:03:42,464
you wanna give me a dog is what

1789
01:03:42,464 --> 01:03:43,684
you're saying because

1790
01:03:44,224 --> 01:03:46,385
who's gonna feed it? You know, or you,

1791
01:03:46,385 --> 01:03:49,525
really, JB. Who's gonna feed it? Who's gonna

1792
01:03:49,585 --> 01:03:51,025
make sure it gets what it need? Who's

1793
01:03:51,025 --> 01:03:52,860
gonna take it to the vet? I had

1794
01:03:52,860 --> 01:03:53,099
to,

1795
01:03:53,739 --> 01:03:55,260
yeah, kill it before I can see it.

1796
01:03:55,260 --> 01:03:56,780
JB left the camera so he could go

1797
01:03:56,780 --> 01:03:58,400
kill something that's clearly crawling.

1798
01:04:00,700 --> 01:04:02,860
Oh, and whatever he sprayed, it made a

1799
01:04:02,860 --> 01:04:05,119
sound, and I hope that was not indicative

1800
01:04:05,180 --> 01:04:06,014
of what he sprayed.

1801
01:04:06,654 --> 01:04:07,474
Okay. Good.

1802
01:04:08,494 --> 01:04:10,894
And I I said and I said,

1803
01:04:11,295 --> 01:04:12,654
the reason we don't have a second dog

1804
01:04:12,654 --> 01:04:14,174
right now is I'm not taking on the

1805
01:04:14,174 --> 01:04:16,174
vet care, the the food, the cost of

1806
01:04:16,174 --> 01:04:18,014
that. That's, we're not gonna do that right

1807
01:04:18,014 --> 01:04:18,210
now.

1808
01:04:19,170 --> 01:04:21,409
And my mom goes I said, also, the

1809
01:04:21,409 --> 01:04:23,170
15 year old is actually more comfortable with

1810
01:04:23,170 --> 01:04:24,769
cats than dogs. This might not be a

1811
01:04:24,769 --> 01:04:27,010
good idea. I will ask. This would not

1812
01:04:27,010 --> 01:04:28,389
be allowed to be a surprise.

1813
01:04:28,769 --> 01:04:30,769
Mhmm. And my mom's like, well, I'll help

1814
01:04:30,769 --> 01:04:32,755
pay for the vet care if if the

1815
01:04:32,755 --> 01:04:35,014
15 year old wants the dog. I'm like,

1816
01:04:36,434 --> 01:04:38,195
first of all, would Lola like that? We

1817
01:04:38,195 --> 01:04:39,795
are not getting a second dog. I have

1818
01:04:39,795 --> 01:04:40,775
to let her know,

1819
01:04:41,795 --> 01:04:43,815
text her back, and be like, no dog.

1820
01:04:45,619 --> 01:04:46,119
Yeah.

1821
01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:48,179
Well, yeah. Interesting thing to talk about this

1822
01:04:48,179 --> 01:04:50,340
morning. Thing to consider too, you know, like

1823
01:04:50,340 --> 01:04:52,340
I said, when when you were talking about

1824
01:04:52,340 --> 01:04:54,820
it with me Mhmm. You know, you can't

1825
01:04:54,820 --> 01:04:56,739
just bring a dog. You know, is Lola

1826
01:04:56,739 --> 01:04:58,420
gonna get along with another dog or you

1827
01:04:58,420 --> 01:04:59,619
know? And that really was the first thing

1828
01:04:59,619 --> 01:05:01,394
I said. You know, and the cats too.

1829
01:05:01,394 --> 01:05:03,074
And, you know But then a second, it

1830
01:05:03,074 --> 01:05:05,494
was like cost cost cost. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1831
01:05:05,554 --> 01:05:07,235
Because we want we do want a second

1832
01:05:07,235 --> 01:05:10,114
dog Mhmm. But cost. So we've talked about

1833
01:05:10,195 --> 01:05:12,535
we'd love we would be willing to foster.

1834
01:05:12,755 --> 01:05:13,255
Right.

1835
01:05:13,715 --> 01:05:15,574
The problem is is that

1836
01:05:16,010 --> 01:05:18,010
the places we know we could foster from

1837
01:05:18,010 --> 01:05:19,630
tomorrow, they do not provide

1838
01:05:20,889 --> 01:05:21,389
the

1839
01:05:21,769 --> 01:05:23,690
the supplies, the vet the I think they

1840
01:05:23,690 --> 01:05:25,210
might supply the vet care, but not, like,

1841
01:05:25,210 --> 01:05:26,510
the food or whatever. Correct.

1842
01:05:26,969 --> 01:05:29,210
The the place we got Lola from, they

1843
01:05:29,210 --> 01:05:31,414
would take care of everything. They pay for

1844
01:05:31,414 --> 01:05:32,394
everything. Everything,

1845
01:05:32,855 --> 01:05:33,355
but

1846
01:05:33,894 --> 01:05:35,835
we would have to commit to so many,

1847
01:05:36,295 --> 01:05:38,295
events. And it's not the events, I think,

1848
01:05:38,295 --> 01:05:39,974
that bother us. It's the it's a drive.

1849
01:05:39,974 --> 01:05:42,295
It's Yeah. It I mean, it's not the

1850
01:05:42,295 --> 01:05:43,920
worst drive. We do it for the the

1851
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:46,579
oldest now, but it's still, like, the commitment

1852
01:05:46,639 --> 01:05:49,039
is multiple weekends until this dog is would

1853
01:05:49,039 --> 01:05:50,339
be adopted. Right.

1854
01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:52,639
And we're constantly going, and we have to

1855
01:05:52,639 --> 01:05:54,239
go to the vet in where they are,

1856
01:05:54,239 --> 01:05:55,839
not where we are. Mhmm. I was like,

1857
01:05:55,839 --> 01:05:58,239
if I, if I could find, like, a

1858
01:05:58,239 --> 01:05:59,704
pity rescue that is

1859
01:06:00,085 --> 01:06:01,045
here local

1860
01:06:01,525 --> 01:06:04,164
Mhmm. That would kinda do sign me the

1861
01:06:04,164 --> 01:06:06,885
fuck up, assuming Lola was okay with it.

1862
01:06:06,885 --> 01:06:07,385
Yeah.

1863
01:06:08,005 --> 01:06:09,765
Yeah. Because we're not here to stress our

1864
01:06:09,765 --> 01:06:10,744
old girl out

1865
01:06:11,525 --> 01:06:13,065
any more than we already do.

1866
01:06:14,000 --> 01:06:14,500
So

1867
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:16,400
but, yeah, that was it was a it

1868
01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:18,000
was an I was like, my mother's trying

1869
01:06:18,000 --> 01:06:20,400
to give me a live animal. Like, what?

1870
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,980
This is not a conversation we've had before.

1871
01:06:23,839 --> 01:06:25,440
The time to try to give children a

1872
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:27,664
puppy is when they're, like, you know, in

1873
01:06:27,664 --> 01:06:30,144
in my world, like, five or six, not

1874
01:06:30,144 --> 01:06:30,965
not 16.

1875
01:06:31,985 --> 01:06:32,485
But

1876
01:06:33,105 --> 01:06:35,284
yeah. It's interesting. So Yeah.

1877
01:06:37,105 --> 01:06:38,864
Yeah. You know me. I could

1878
01:06:39,344 --> 01:06:41,585
and keep us going for literal hours and

1879
01:06:41,585 --> 01:06:42,405
say nothing

1880
01:06:42,849 --> 01:06:44,289
until a random thought popped in my head.

1881
01:06:44,289 --> 01:06:46,449
But I'm I'm I'm ready to You were

1882
01:06:46,449 --> 01:06:48,130
you were ready for the the you you

1883
01:06:48,130 --> 01:06:49,889
should stand up with a sign. I'm gonna

1884
01:06:49,889 --> 01:06:51,570
go sit by that window. I'm gonna grab

1885
01:06:51,570 --> 01:06:53,010
a chair and sit by that window and

1886
01:06:53,010 --> 01:06:54,530
watch for the for the truck to roll

1887
01:06:54,530 --> 01:06:56,050
down the road. If it wasn't so damn

1888
01:06:56,050 --> 01:06:57,875
humid outside, you'd sit in the driveway, wouldn't

1889
01:06:57,875 --> 01:07:01,035
you? Probably. Yep. Yep. I believe it. Sit

1890
01:07:01,035 --> 01:07:02,594
in the driveway with the garage door up,

1891
01:07:02,594 --> 01:07:03,655
and they're right in here.

1892
01:07:04,114 --> 01:07:06,434
I hope that it it comes as planned

1893
01:07:06,434 --> 01:07:09,155
and that tomorrow, however quick Yeah. Quick it

1894
01:07:09,234 --> 01:07:11,739
long it takes, you are playing with your

1895
01:07:11,739 --> 01:07:13,679
new tool slash toy.

1896
01:07:14,139 --> 01:07:15,819
Yep. That's what I hope for you. We

1897
01:07:15,819 --> 01:07:16,639
shall see.

1898
01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:19,839
Okay. I guess we should stop now. Yeah.

1899
01:07:21,179 --> 01:07:22,940
One of these days, I'm gonna just do

1900
01:07:22,940 --> 01:07:24,539
that. I'm just going live. We're just gonna

1901
01:07:24,539 --> 01:07:26,434
sit here and it'll be random or it'll

1902
01:07:26,434 --> 01:07:28,434
be quiet, but we're just here together. I'm

1903
01:07:28,434 --> 01:07:30,994
not I'm not there yet. Okay, y'all. Thanks

1904
01:07:30,994 --> 01:07:33,155
for, being here with us. Yeah. Especially to

1905
01:07:33,155 --> 01:07:35,715
the bitter end. Mhmm. Mhmm. Always happy to

1906
01:07:35,715 --> 01:07:37,315
have you hang out with us. Yep. I

1907
01:07:37,315 --> 01:07:39,820
hope, you know, we gave you some food

1908
01:07:39,820 --> 01:07:41,199
for thought on this topic,

1909
01:07:41,659 --> 01:07:43,679
you know, something to consider for the future.

1910
01:07:44,300 --> 01:07:44,539
And,

1911
01:07:45,420 --> 01:07:47,900
we'll talk to y'all later. Mhmm. Okay. Alright.

1912
01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:48,880
Bye. Bye.