You're listening to the Loving BDSM
episode four forty one. Kayla Lords here with
the one, the only, the you're sweating your
ass off just like me for once. It's
not just a hormonal thing.
It's a a Florida thing. John Brownstone. That's
me. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Do you also feel
the line of sweat on your upper lip?
Yeah. Is it also sitting at the tops
of your cheeks where just below your eyes?
No. Where you go oh. Oh. No. I'm
the lucky one. It's delightful. Mhmm. I'm about
to do this damn live stream naked.
Study lessons.
We'd be demonetized, but we might get a
shit ton of watchers.
We'd probably get kicked off at YouTube if
I didn't.
Anyway, that is not happening this week, but,
get ready for the chaos, clearly.
We're back after a longer than planned break.
We'll talk about that in the bonus section,
and we're easing ourselves back into it with
a kinky q and a with questions
from
social media platform
with that handle I will forever fucking hate.
Yes. That's right. Instagram. And we're time traveling
here, so maybe we'll have questions from YouTube
live chat as well, but we can't know
that until we do it. Right. Right. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Chaos. Okay.
Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this
is your first time listening, glad to have
you. If you're back for another week, welcome
back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and
Friday for your kinky pleasure and education, and
show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add
the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You
can also follow the show on FetLife at
loving BDSM PC,
on Instagram. Oh, at that handle I will
forever fucking hate.
It's loving d s and the number one,
at loving d s one.
On blue sky at lovingBDSM.
Blah blah blah,
or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingBDSM
where you can watch us live stream the
podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the
show notes. Big thanks as always to our
kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our newest
peeps. We are able to keep being weirdos
on the Internet,
because of our kinky patrons, and we are
grateful for every fucking one of you. If
you'd like to join our kinky community and
get access to extra content,
especially
this summer while we're on a pseudo kind
of summer schedule breaky thing. We'll talk more
about that later.
But you get
still get some of us if you are,
part of our Patreon. That's with extra content
like a behind the scenes, what's going on
in our relationship podcast once a month, and
access to our Discord server,
you can do that. Just join us at
patreon.com/kaylalords.
That's patreon.com/kaylalords,
or use the link in the show notes.
Okay. So before,
I look at questions and we try to
answer them, let us do our announcements.
Yes. The first one,
livestream folks already know we're hot as fuck
because we can't stop bitching about it.
We are going to our summer schedule. Mhmm.
Last summer was the first time we did
this. We are just as unorganized about it
this year as we were last year.
Starting next week, the first Wednesday in June,
I don't know what date that is, but
it's the first Wednesday in June. Our livestream
time is changing because we cannot sit in
this room at 1PM eastern
during the Florida
summer. We're gonna start livestreaming our episodes on
Wednesday at 7PM
eastern
when it is
slightly cooler and the fan and the AC
actually can make Right. This room cool down
a little bit.
The audio podcast still coming out on Friday
as usual. No. Nothing with that changes.
I know that the time change means that
some people who normally watch will not be
able to watch at all. I am so
sorry for that, but I don't know if
I can do live streams while I'm nauseous
because of the heat. So I don't wanna
try.
We know this will be in effect June,
July, and August.
Mhmm. We will decide on September when we
get to September. If If it is a
hotter than usual summer, as they all have
been, thanks climate change,
we might have to extend this into September
as well.
So 7PM,
I will try to put out as many
reminders because I know folks there are folks
out there like me that's, like, you have
a schedule in your mind and having to
shift that. Mhmm.
Third year off. I totally get it. We
will be thrown off at least the first
couple of times.
The other change we're making,
because of all kinds of reasons, including
the very hot,
summer and the very hot office that is
not cooled properly,
at this point,
we are gonna take a break from our
Monday episodes through the summer.
That's our q and a episodes. Right. Our
inbox is still open for questions. I would
love to get questions over the summer. So
when we come off of our summer schedule
and we're doing q and a again Just
jump back in. Right. Go right down the
list. We will have an episode that comes
out next Monday,
which is the first Monday in June as
of recording.
And then that'll be the last one until
we get back. Because
streaming in the evening is great. We do
not live a life where we could
functionally
record video at night, and then we have
time to edit. But that's a that's a
daytime thing.
We cannot record during the day. We cannot.
We cannot. We cannot. So
figured we just we just, you know Yeah.
This this room was warming up It's easy
this summer. In and of itself, and then
you add in all the lights. I have
exhausted the light of sweat on my upper
lip where my glasses touch my cheeks.
That is perpetually sweaty and wet. My hairline
all the way around my face is very
sweaty. And I am wearing the cooling neck
thing that some,
kind listener slash watcher sent me through Amazon.
Thank you to that person.
And it is working, but
floor is floor is hot, y'all.
They're hot. It's very humid.
And this room is great for recording
when,
it doesn't feel like you're sitting on the
surface of the sun. So
all that being said, we're just calling it
a summer schedule. We're lightening things up so
we can spend less time in this office.
Everything slows down in the summer anyway. Yeah.
The heat for one and just because people
are out living their life in the summer.
So we're just I mean, did it take
us ten years to finally figure this out?
Yeah. Yeah. I did.
Here we are. Here we are.
Okay. So those are our
two announcements.
Now we're gonna get into questions. We asked
her questions,
over on Instagram with that handle I will
forever fucking hate.
And it that's real. I will forever fucking
hate it.
There are reasons I cannot change it, to
what I want.
Nobody asked that question, so I'm not gonna
go on that rant.
We are gonna start this up this episode,
podcast stream thing, whatever whatever whatever.
With those questions,
there were too many that I we're not
even going to acknowledge because what the hell
is wrong with people?
So,
we may have time to take some questions
from the YouTube live chat during the stream.
If we get to that point, I will
explain how we will do that, and then
we will go from there.
So
first question. Uh-oh.
How to navigate dynamics of a Dom organizing
a threesome
with his two
very similar
sips.
God damn. Look at his face.
Podcast listeners, I'm sorry. You didn't get a
single look on his face. Go ahead. Talk.
Well, you know, I'm I'm gonna say the
snarky thing, and apologies to this person Yeah.
If you've already done the work. Do your
two very similar submissives
both
know about one another, get along with each
other, and have they been like hell yeah
let's do a threesome. If you've got that,
then,
it it goes back to okay now sit
in a circle somewhere and like hash this
out. I I I think the biggest thing
you're gonna need to
demand, or one of the biggest things in
my mind, are the expectations.
Oh. Something like that. Oh, yeah. Alright. You
know, because you can
I mean, let's face it? You can blow
it up in your head, and, you know,
woo hoo. Mhmm.
Mhmm.
You know, and I think the submissives
may be very similar in your mind, but
I have no doubt there will be very
clear differences
on preferences and certain ways of, you know,
behaving and things they like. So
while you are very mindful of how they
are like, I would spend time digging into
where they're different and where there could be
some, like, potential pain points, you know.
I also would think
back to within this relationship or these relationships,
have has there been insecurity? Has there been
envy? Has there been jealousy for, like, when
you're with one person and not the other?
If any of that has is there and
has never been properly addressed and dealt with
on some level,
I can absolutely see it coming out in
the middle of a threesome
or in the aftermath of a threesome.
So, yeah, I you know,
the fun part is talking. I'm sure is
the talking about what you're going to do.
And depending on the type of dom you
are, maybe you're used to having a whole
hell of a lot of control.
But it's
as I've been told by by JB, it's
hard managing one sub at a time.
I can only imagine
how it might be with two at a
time. Mhmm.
But, yeah, I don't think anybody is surprised
at the the main answers you gotta communicate.
Right. But I think it's Right. If you're
even if you're used to planning scenes primarily
on your own and maybe just letting your
sub know and, you know, checking for consent,
as I assume you are doing,
I don't think this is the time to
plan it alone. I think No.
To the extent that they are willing to
be a part of the conversation, and I
hope they are very willing to be, everybody
needs to be in on some of the
planning conversations.
Everybody involved needs to, sit down, have a
cup of coffee, and, chat or beverage of
choice, whatever that may be. Right. And, you
know, just,
talk. Right. And I don't think this is
a time if you're if you or your
subs are like this,
this is a time to try to do
your best to not be people pleasers. Do
not Mhmm. Your subs do not need to
be saying what they think you wanna hear
or what they think the other person wants
to hear. Right. If the idea
of doing a certain act with another human
being that's not you really bothers them, they
need to be able to go, I don't
like that. That really bothers me. Yeah. So
those are the things from a a dominant
perspective. I'd say you need to watch for,
especially
if you know these missives as well as
you feel like you do, then you know
when they're not telling you
what they really feel, maybe they're telling you
what you want, they think you wanna hear.
Mhmm. You know
when they
hide
not hide when they Hold back? Hold back.
Thank you. Yes.
And you kinda gotta go, nope. That's not
acceptable here. That's gonna that's not gonna make
this a good thing for anybody. Does that
sound boring and kind of clinical? Sure. But
if you wanna continue having what I'm assuming
are healthy relationships,
after said threesome,
get fucking clinical with it.
Like,
Just yeah. Don't rely on fantasy and just
what you think Mm-mm. You want to do.
Okay.
Our next question is not about kink at
all. It's about us. Uh-oh. What was your
wedding like?
Interesting. Chaotic is everything we do as so
I think this person probably did ask just
to see, did we have, like, a kinky
wedding? Mhmm. We tried to have some elements
of kink in our wedding, and it did
not go to plan.
Because the person who was supposed to officiate
our wedding
is was a kink friend, somebody who owned
a dungeon, somebody we'd played with before. Like,
it was supposed to be super cool. They
were gonna work with us on, like, nonstandard,
nontraditional,
vows. Vowels. So it we could, like, slip
in, kink under the radar. Right? Power change.
And then they
bailed on us and ghosted us. Yeah. And
if it was not for my aunt, who
is, like,
legally allowed to officiate weddings in the state
of Florida,
that would have been the actual, like, official
documentation part would have been in the fucking
courthouse.
Yep.
So,
I was grateful for her. Mhmm. I was
very pissed about the other. Yeah. Because that
was the only real thing where we felt
like we could air quote this safely add
kink in and none of our non kink
people Yeah. No. Would have clocked it.
But we needed help with that. I Right.
I might have been a full time writer
at the time, but I was not that
creative. So and we did not get that.
We
we kept it inexpensive and easy. We got
married on a cruise ship out in,
the Tampa Bay, like, bay. Mhmm.
So that it had we had the ceremony,
the the food, the dancing entertainment,
all contained to a two hour cruise. So
we had to clean up. We didn't have
to, like, go somewhere, like No. Easy. Easy.
Easy.
I was supposed to have a kink friend
be the photographer.
They bailed on me.
They they legitimately had, like, stuff going on,
but they sort of told me very late
in the planning process.
So a family member who was is an
amateur photographer, she loves taking pictures, you know.
She's not a wedding photographer, but she was
like, I got a camera. I'm willing to.
I was like, thank you. Thank you. We
really appreciated her.
Purple was the main color with accents of
gray
and silver, but kinda came out as gray.
So my dress
was,
purple. It was
got it from Amazon, actually. It's kind of
in a sort of
air quote fifties style because it had kind
of that tight bodice. And then I got
a a petticoat thing, and it
out. And my petticoat was silver gray and
my dress was purple. And I went on,
like, a whole 30 keto thing for a
month, did not touch one drop of sugar
and looked snatched in that dress. But then
the day of the wedding, I was like,
I need sugar again.
Tried to have my my hair was about
the length that is now. Podcast listeners, it's
a bob that goes to my chin. Tried
to have it curled between my hair being
super straight and the heat and humidity curls
fell.
But I could not stop smiling the whole
time. No. You didn't. The one air quote
power exchange y thing we did is anytime
I wanted a drink, I had to ask
JB if I was allowed to have a
drink.
He allowed many drinks.
Very impressive.
But I danced until I embarrassed my children.
Both kids walk air quote walked me down
the aisle. They got shy right as, we
were supposed to start walking, so I basically
dragged them down the aisle because I was
like, I am ready to get married. Come
on. We're doing this. We're doing this. I
could not stop smiling. I just cheesed the
whole time. The whole time.
So and then we were supposed to get
one night kid free. Like, my mom was
in town. I was like, hey. I'll take
the kids. Y'all enjoy your one night. And
we spent our one night seeking out food
and ended up at a Waffle House at
midnight.
Yeah.
Then ate too much at midnight
and didn't do anything
sexual or kinky on our wedding night.
We were wore out. We were wore wore
out. We were. But we were fucking married,
man. Yeah.
We were. Being married was it is was
important to us. But we're we've been together
so long, and we're so unbothered by any
of it. We don't we remember the date.
I know when my anniversary is. I can
never remember what year I was married. Was
it 2017 or was it 2018?
I remember what day we got engaged because
JB very helpfully
did it on May. May the fourth be
with you.
Right? I was very grateful
for that.
I did not change my legal last name
because I had already been there, done that
in the first marriage. I went, oh, no.
I'm not going through that bullshit again.
JV is like, cool. I don't give a
fuck.
Truly, truly with our relationship, we did it
for the insurance and tax breaks you get
when you were legally married to another adult.
That is what we did it for.
It it had meaning to us, but I
think our power exchange was, in some ways,
more meaningful. Yeah. But you don't you don't
get a tax break.
With power exchange. No. No. And I wanted
the
I also explained to him there was no
take backs.
There was no refunds. No exchanges. You were
in it for fucking life,
so you better be sure.
And so now he's stuck here. Okay.
Okay. Next question. Let me get my phone
back up because I did not turn off
the go to sleep thing.
Okay. This is a a big one, and
we will probably only be partially helpful.
We're both sub submissives.
What do we do?
Well,
couple choices.
Mhmm. Probably more choices than you realize. Yeah.
You know, you
I I I assume what you're saying is
you're both submissives in a relationship?
Yeah. I think they're I take it to
be they're in a relationship and they're both
submissive. Both both submissive.
Right. I mean, you know, if what you
are looking for,
each of you is different than the other,
then you can kinda strike out on your
own
and and find your own person.
If you're both open to that. If you're
both open to that. And it doesn't have
to be sexual and romantic either. It can
be platonic, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For
sure. You know, or or, you know, to
it it depending on depends on what submissive
is
to them. Sure. Sure. Okay?
You know, if if submission to you is,
you know, masochism,
then you, you know, find find a play
partner maybe. Can your partner provide
what you need as a service situation? Mhmm.
Are they are either of y'all comfortable topping
for each other? Right.
I have
heard
of
couples
who have sought a d type to
One d type to rule them all. Rule
them all. Yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah.
Which I think if you can find it,
that's great. I think that,
you know,
that might be more challenging. Mhmm. Right? Like,
it's
sort of that unicorn hunting thing that happens
in other kinds of non monogamous situations. Let's
let's not treat somebody like a kink dispenser.
Mhmm. If you happen to find that, I
think that's great. But I agree with you
that if y'all are open to the idea
of
having
power exchange experiences
outside of your immediate relationship with one another,
go seek that out. Mhmm. But I for
anybody, if either of you are uncomfortable with
the idea of a sexual or romantic relationship
with another person,
yeah, platonic platonic power exchange, platonic kink absolutely
exists. I don't think that that means that
you just act like it's not that big
of a deal because it's not sexual romantic.
You still have to negotiate it. You still
have to figure out boundaries. You still like,
you still have to navigate whatever feelings are
gonna come up.
But a lot of people will reject the,
oh, I can't go outside of my relationship
because they are imagining it,
you know, as in a type of relationship
they already have with another partner and they
don't want that.
So yeah. But yeah. I would you know,
if there are activities
that one of you
really wants and the other one's like, I
don't wanna experience that, but,
you know, maybe you can maybe I can
top you. Like, it's not the exact same
experience as a
a power exchange where
a dominant does all of those things for
the submissive. I get that. But if it
gives you some experiences and some sensations you
want, and if you were the subby partner
who would act as the top in that
situation,
you know, some people get you know, they
don't like not being in the submissive mindset,
then that's when I say mind fuck yourself
and consider it an act of service. If
that vibes with your Right. Submissive self. Some
people can do that, others can't. Mhmm. Exactly.
But, yeah, I think it's a a matter
of, getting creative, thinking outside of the box,
thinking outside of
titles and roles and labels. Mhmm.
And, you know,
I think there's there's ways to navigate it.
Your relationship just probably isn't going to look
like any air quote this average relationship. Yeah.
I know. But we're in kinky all. None
of our relationships are like the average relationship.
Oh, no. No. No. It's all customizable.
So yeah.
That's true. Okay.
Next one.
Best advice for new subs and where can
I find ritual ideas?
So let me we'll let me start with
the second question, if you don't mind. Okay.
Ritual for what? Yeah. Like, there's no one
size fits all of ritual. You can ritualize
literally anything. I ritualize
making coffee. I ritualize
bending over naked and asking for permission to
go to to bed. It was not a
ritual that I discovered
Yeah. No. On the Internet. It was something
we agreed to do, and we ourselves have,
like, created a ritual around it.
So Yeah. And, you know, when it when
it comes to
rituals and things like that,
you know, just like one of the biggest
questions get asked, you know, what can we
do for punishment,
You know, along the same lines. Yeah. Yeah.
And
and the
the true answer is we can't tell you.
Mhmm.
It it's hard to say because what
is your S type like? Right. Okay. What
what do they like? What don't they like?
Right. You know, this one likes spanking. That's
not a very
No. That that would not deter. Because the
at this point, even when you give the
mean spanking, that's no fun. I'm still a
little delighted that my ass is getting attention.
So
but so let's go back to rituals. Any
of Right. It's like, well, what do you
what rituals what do you want them for?
Mhmm. Do you want them something
do you want them to be something you
do for yourself to get into a submissive
mindset? Do you want them to be something
you do to show devotion to your partner?
Mhmm. Do you want like, what purpose is
it supposed to serve and who is it
for?
And then from there, you can go, okay.
Well, what's meaningful? Yeah. When you're doing something
for a partner or the partner is doing
something for you,
then it's extremely personalized because what do they
want and need? What's gonna hit hit their
buttons? Right?
If it's something for you, for your own
mindset,
you may have more resources available than you
realize. Submissiveguide,
.com is a very good site for all
kinds of ideas
and,
ways perspectives on submission.
I'm sure there are submissive groups on FetLife
that, you know, where people are talking about
these kinds of things. Mhmm.
So
that that would be the answer to that.
Now
oh, my gosh. I've already forgotten the first
part of the question. Best advice for new
subs?
That's a that's a very broad question. Do
you have something that comes to mind? Learn.
Learn.
And, you know, understand what submission means to
you as a new sub. Mhmm. You know,
submission
means many things to many people. Mhmm. Alright?
And no
two are the same. Exactly the same. And
some of that you're gonna figure out with
a partner, but there is plenty to learn
on your own. Like, you don't you know,
my
a lot of my kink education was led
by JB, but anything beyond that, I I
sought out. And there are resources absolutely that
are created just for submissives in mind, just
for dominance in mind. Right? Submissiveguide.com
being a great one.
The so I will not
add that. I'll give you a second piece
of advice
to go with that because Jamie is a
% right. So you get a twofer.
Whether online or in person,
yes. Even if you are like me and
find it very difficult to be social,
try to find community. Mhmm.
Try to
find people who even if they do not
submit the way you do, even if they
do not view power exchange and kink quite
the way you do, but they ex accept
you, you accept them, the vibe is right.
Find that community
because it there's a lot of of reasons
it can be very helpful and important if
it's a good community. Right? Do not hesitate
to withdraw yourself from a bad community, toxic
community, negative community. Right? Any place you don't
feel welcome. Right? Yep.
But there's the semi normalization of what you're
doing. When you are out there on your
own,
knowing you're submissive, knowing you're kinky, and you
don't have
any interaction
online or in person with other kinky people,
it is very easy to feel isolated and
that you are the only one. You are
never the only one.
Also, if you can have community and spaces
in this situation,
other submissives. Right?
As you,
you know, make friends or get into conversations
or just get to watch what other people
are talking about, you will learn. Here's some
red flags to watch out for. Oh, here's
sub frenzy. Maybe I need to be careful
with that. You know, you learn a lot
from each other. And then if you, you
know, get fortunate enough to make, like, genuine
friendships, hopefully, you have somebody who will go,
hey. Hey. That that person you're talking to,
they're three red flags in a trench coat.
So,
you
know
or, like, if, you know, you have to
go through the awfulness that is a power
exchange breakup,
you have somebody in your corner to go,
you know, we're here for you. We care
about you. You're valid. You know? Also, fuck
that guy or whatever you need. Look. I
am both the I will sit with you
in silence and let you just cry and
cry and cry and talk your head off
to to process.
I'm also the one who'll be like, oh,
yeah. We hate that motherfucker. I don't know
what he did. I don't know the guy.
Never saw him.
Do am I assuming it's a guy? I
mean, that could be my own baggage showing,
but you know what I mean.
So
yeah. For for new subs, education and community.
Yep. The the top pieces of advice. There
you go. Okay.
Next question.
Dynamic of four plus years now in love.
How do we bring back the fire of
power exchange in us both?
How to reignite that,
that fire.
Yeah.
You know I have thoughts. I'm just trying
to, like, actually give you room. Give me
room. Yeah. I'm gonna I'm
yeah. See, I can't talk. I'm gonna defer
to you. Two weeks off. See what happened?
Yeah. One of us had to go tongue
tied.
Okay. So my first thought, and this
is my
my bias showing because of what we've gone
through.
Why did the fire die over however many
years? Yeah. Was it life situations that have
pulled you away from power exchange?
Was it
the downside of routines which turn into ruts
where you're doing the same thing over and
over again, but not putting a lot of
thought into it. Is it
that
your life was different in the beginning and
so your power exchange was different, but it
has not it didn't shift. It either had
to stop completely because your life changed enough
that that didn't work anymore.
Or you've been trying to do the same
thing you always did, but your life looks
different now.
Alright?
Is it that
the power exchange, the kink
stuff you did at one point is no
longer as exciting. Like, that
that's to me the first part. You gotta
kinda get a handle on how and why
did we get here. Because to me, that's
what helps you figure out
how do we kind of, like, find a
new path that is out of it. Right.
Because if it's, like, life stressors that like,
life's been beating you down because
we we get it.
Sometimes you have to just kinda get through
that. Right? Yeah.
Is it that your life has just shifted
and you never talked about again? Well, now
it's okay. Plan a conversation.
I think it's a start small, pick something.
Yeah.
You know, we've started saying more and more,
recently
that when you pick that something small and
slow to start off with to kind of
build it back up, start with the thing
you were both, like, super excited about, super
turned on by, like, you're like, oh, I
have missed this. Right?
Because you both need to look forward to
it. There needs to be some level of
enthusiasm there. And then when you do it,
even if it's imperfect and maybe it gets
goofy and you have to laugh it off,
you still shared this experience where you were,
like, both, like, yeah. Let's fucking do this.
Makes it a little easier
to go to the next thing.
What would you add? I think you did
just fine with that. Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Okay. Next one.
Okay. I'm a part of me does not
want to get to to do this one,
but a part of me does. Okay.
How to because the answer is the same
as it was for anything else.
But here we go. How to introduce swinging
with your partner?
Time to sit down and have a conversation.
I mean, that's the obvious answer for sure.
And and the best way to do that
is to do it in a nod non
judgmental manner.
With as as few expectations as you can
have going into that conversation. Yep.
Yep. But it's no different than introducing your
partner to kink, introducing them to power exchange
if you never did that before, introducing them
to a a new kink to try that
y'all haven't tried before.
You need to have an idea of what,
you know, some understanding that you have of
it and some understanding of yourself of what
maybe
and then you need to have patience. You
need to be willing to come back to
this conversation
multiple times. You also need to understand and
be willing to fucking drop it if they
go, that's a hard no. I don't wanna
even talk about this. This is not gonna
be my thing. You then have to decide
where you wanna go from there with the
relationship you have. How important is this to
you?
Yeah. So Yeah.
Be prepared to
share the resources you have on learning about,
in this case, swinging. If you don't have
resources, you need to go out and get
some to make sure you are well versed
in Mhmm. You know, ethical practices and risk
awareness and, like, just how
the swinging culture can operate. And I'm sure
it's like the kink communities. Everybody's different in
some way.
But yeah. Health assure assurances and things that
you Like, I would not I'm not gonna
ever talk on swinging because I have
no knowledge,
no
experience,
no real interest. Like, that's that's not my
jam.
I have read a couple
of, fictional romances about it and that was
intriguing,
but that's not the same. Yeah.
So yeah. I mean, it's it's not a
one and done conversation.
No. Even if they say yes. Right?
And you have to walk the fine line
of
are they
unsure
but willing
to keep talking about it versus
are they
unsure and they wanna drop it for a
while and they wanna think about it and
then you have to, like, make sure you're
not pressuring your partner, like, that's,
as
that's red, red flag trench coat behavior right
there.
But, yeah, you need to to come with
information and resources and
Correct. But don't bombard your partner in the
first conversation.
Right? Yeah. We always say when we're talking
about kinks and you wanna introduce a partner
to the idea of it, I like to
start with hypotheticals. Like, have you heard of
that? What if, you know, what do you
think of that? Instead of jumping in and
going, hey, I wanna fucking do this. And
your partner's like, what the hell? Where's this
coming from? Kinda kinda dip your toes in
the water and test the waters first. Mhmm.
Mhmm.
Exactly.
Mhmm. Okay. And then
trying to refresh. Yep. Okay. We have one
last question from Instagram. Now I'm gonna stop
here because I'm gonna tell live chat what
to do so they can be doing it
while we're doing the last question. Okay. So
we are gonna take questions from from YouTube
live chat from the live stream. To ask
your question in live chat, you need to
tag us. Just type at loving BDSM. It
lights up first. We can see it. Two,
your question needs to fit within whatever the
character limit is of one post comment thingy
in live chat. If it's multiples, that's too
much for where we're at now. You can
send it to us,
through our contact page on our website. Link
is down below.
And that might be a Q and A
episode when we come back from that.
And also, if you think we are not,
answering your question fast enough and you decide
you want to spam the channel, don't. But
if you do, you will be putting in
a time out because our moderators are awesome.
Okay. So while live chat folks are thinking
if they have a question and hell, if
nobody has questions, I am happy to bullshit
for a very long bonus section. Easy for
me.
Our last question from Instagram.
What's one kink that you would like to
try but haven't had the chance to? Either
one of us.
What would be the one thing?
I would I think I would have to
say,
probably suspension.
Yeah.
I could see that being, like, your your
thing. Mhmm. And to be clear, you do
not want to be suspended. You would like
to suspend somebody else. Correct. Right. I
I would not
you know this. I'm I'm not telling you
anything new. Yeah. I'm telling y'all something that's
probably not new either. I would not be
the partner for that. Not because I'm like
have some aversion to that kind of bondage
or
I am already an anxious girl and there
is something about leaving the ground that makes
me very panicky.
I also have all of the childhood
stuff from being bullied for
for
not being
apparently the right weight and body shape. So
I walk around life going I am too
heavy for things. I am likely not too
heavy for things. I have seen people with
similar bodies to mine and larger
get suspended safely, happily.
Health, like, they've had the moment and it's
been great. But my brain goes, you have
left the ground. You're going to fall. And
I don't care about bondage enough to put
myself through. That. Okay. That is not
a fear that I want to, like,
work through. I don't know. Thank you.
I have literally not thought about new kinks
in
literal years. Like, I just
I want
to do the kinks I like already that
we never have time enough
for. Mhmm.
Yeah. Yeah. That is what I wanna do.
Yeah. I I think part of it is
I'm I feel like I'm a very, very
simple kinky girl. I like a few things
and when I like them deeply
and then I'm kinda good
for you know, I'm happy to explore and
experiment if there's a thing we're gonna, like,
one off try.
I'm mostly open to to that, but Mhmm.
You know,
I don't
I have not come across anything online,
you know, through
research, through whatever. I have not come across
anything like, oh, yeah. I would like to
try that. I truly,
truly just
want enough time for the kinks I'm already
fucking into.
That's that's where I'm at.
Oh my god. I'm so hot.
Just a reminder for for anybody who's watching
live, we are accepting questions. Please tag us.
Please don't make it too long. Please don't
spam the channel.
But if we don't get questions, truly, truly,
we we've got plenty to complain about from
our two week break,
which did end up being a decent break.
Okay.
Oh, KB.
Podcast funds. People who don't look at live
chat after the when you watch the video.
JB asked a fucking question because you want
to get me ranting, and you want me
to sweat this makeup off, don't you? You
want my glasses to just slide off my
face from the sweat because I will pump
my own blood pressure up.
It's because I said something. It's because I
said something. I did it to myself. Yeah.
You did. JB asks,
why can't you change the handle you will
forever fucking hate?
Because I can't
get the handle I want. We originally when
I I started our Instagram account for loving
BDSM.
The handle was fucking loving BDSM.
And then Instagram
came under Meta and Facebook had their fucked
up rules that they didn't want
certain names or acronyms or
grouping of letters
in,
a handle for on Facebook or on Instagram.
And when
we've we've somehow
showed up on the fucking vanilla side of
Instagram
and somebody clearly reported us
and
Instagram does what Instagram and Facebook do, and
with no communication and no warning and no
reason,
the account got yanked and banned and so
I could not
get that handle back to begin with. I
could also not get any iteration of loving
BDSM where the name clearly you could tell
was supposed to be loving BDSM.
Not with letters, not with numbers, not no
with fucking nothing. The best I could come
up with
was Loving and DS because DS for right.
Right. Power exchange. But that wasn't enough characters
so I had to add a goddamn one
on the end.
I hate that.
So, yeah, I can technically
change the handle.
And maybe one of these days, I need
to go see if the rules have changed
a little bit, but then I won't have
the running joke, and we won't have the
lore of having the handle I fucking hate.
So that is why. Mhmm. Hey, you, JB.
Now we have a real question
from Paul. Thank you, Paul.
How do y'all deal with long days or
at the end of the day, one is
in, like, a bratty mood and the other
one wants nothing more than to shut down
and forget the world exists?
For us, it's not bratty. It's sassy
and playful.
But, yeah. I totally get that vibe. Go
ahead. How did you handle that?
Trial and error. Trial and error. You got
you an obedient sub is what you've Yeah.
I do.
You
know, it it comes down and and I
think what I have learned over over time
because,
I overstepped that balance a little bit number
of times,
but it comes down to mutual respect.
Mhmm. You know?
If she's just not in the mood, and
I and I understand,
how she gets overstimulated
and and, you know, different things affect her.
So I I respect her when she says
she needs that downtime to And I know
I'm safe enough to go, I can't do
this tonight. Yeah. Right? Like, it's not I'm
not gonna get in trouble for telling my
my daddy, Dom, that I was not on
the same wavelength that he was for tonight.
Mhmm. But, like, at night, this happened to
us last night, the other way around. Like
I said, I get sassy and playful. Mhmm.
I got some severe fucking bedtime zoos. Oh,
god. Yeah. I I mean, I Oh. I
was surprised. I don't think
those supplements are supposed to work quite that
fast. I feel like that's just a placebo
effect. I'm taking new supplements and they arrive
whatever whatever. Started them yesterday. Anyway,
and so I was
whole wide yolked
in bed. Like, not wild, like, riding him
like a fucking bunk of rocks. Bouncing off
the wall. Bouncing off the walls.
And JB has this ability. And even in
my, like,
foggiest moments, it cuts through. It literally goes,
not tonight, baby girl. Now do I pout?
Of course she does.
Do I, you know, huff and especially when
it's in bed, real low, real heavy.
Yes.
But we know each other well enough to
know. He knows I'm not serious and I'm
not being disrespectful. That's, like, let let me
baby girl the moment out, and we'll get
there. Because I'm gonna respect the fact that
he's, like, I can't tonight. Yeah. Now what
I would say is if you have if
every night for some length of time is
like that,
it's time to figure out when you can
plan for some time
to to reconnect. Because that's the thing that
usually ends up being the worst for us
is we'll we will be too tired, too
overstimulated, too whatever whatever,
too many days in a row, and we're
not getting any of what we need, and
we're not as connected as we usually are.
And then we have to, like,
actively
make it happen. Yeah.
So and or I like to say, fall
back on small things. Fall back on little
things that have meaning to y'all but don't
require a lot of energy or effort. Right?
True. True.
But yeah.
Oh, gosh.
I'm so hot.
It's kinda warmish.
There's a reason we went through the sketch
change. I'll do that again for anybody who
missed it in the beginning, is joining after
the
fact, had already forgotten because I know how
memories were.
We are
changing our livestream schedule for the summer,
June, July, August for sure, possibly September.
We are now livestreaming on Wednesdays at 7PM
eastern when it is slightly cooler. And when
we do the cool down things, they actually
start to work,
because
this heat right here is miserable right now.
And then we are also taking a break
from our Monday episodes through that same time.
Because in our
schedule and the way our life and
work and everything operate, the best time to
record those videos is in the middle of
the day, and that is what we are
trying to avoid. Yeah.
So,
yeah, so that is happening.
Again, feel free for anybody who's watching on
live on YouTube to,
get in a question.
I'm happy to maybe take one more and
or if we get to 01:45PM
by our computer clock and there's no questions,
we'll go into a bonus section. Okay.
You know, it's funny. I love to just
hang out and just chitchat and, like, whatever
whatever
until it gets hot like this.
And it it really mostly just pisses me
off because I would happily, like, just bullshit
around for however long,
but
I get nauseous when I get hot like
this. I once I get hot, I stay
hot even once I'm in a Mhmm. Cool
place. I don't know if I should blame
the perimenopause.
I don't know. I just know it happens.
And it's worse now. Like, it
you know? Yeah. I've been living in the
South my whole fucking life. I've I understand
heat, but the get hot, stay hot, and
can't cool down no matter what you do.
Oh, that's new. That's new. Yeah. But,
yeah.
I think spoilers for anybody who gives a
fuck about this kind of thing. I think
next week will be a BDSM Reddit episode.
We haven't done one of those in a
hot minute.
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Mhmm. Yep.
Yeah. If it's if the room is slightly
cooler, I have no problem ranting.
Yeah.
And I I know I should have worn
my hair up today, but I had I
literally just got it cut yesterday, day before
recording, though. And it's cute. I was like,
I I was too what's the word I
want? There's a word I want. I can't
think of it. I could have had her
go shorter and more
obvious with what she did,
but I hesitated at the last minute. And
I think I don't know. It's been fifteen
months since my last haircut. So in another
fifteen months, if I recall,
I'll I'll go shorter and because it's supposed
to be an asymmetrical bob. So for anybody
who who's like, what the fuck? The back
of your haircut is shorter and it angles,
and so the longest part is at the
front of your face. And I wanted it
very, very subtle because I wasn't sure if
it would look like I'd look crazy
with it. And then when she was done,
I was like,
I should have said more, but I didn't
wanna sit there anymore.
So
oh my gosh.
I know. I know. It's hot.
I feel sorry for anybody who's like, I
thought this is a podcast with people talking
about things. And we're just like, do do
do do. I'm running out the clock at
this point. I'm waiting to see if a
question comes in less than a minute according
to our clock.
And then we'll go into a bonus section.
Mhmm. Ticking down. The clock changed. No new
questions came through. We're gonna go into a
bonus section now. Okay.
Okay. You're gonna hit buttons. Yep. I'm gonna
try and remember how all this works. Okay.
So are you ready? Sure.
K.
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you
next week.
Okay. Can we talk to the crickets?
Sure.
It's really you who needs to talk because
you've been through it.
Well, I'm I'm not gonna talk a whole
lot about Yeah. I'm gonna I intend to
talk more about it later,
in the Patreon. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking
about your foot more than that. That too.
Yeah. Because we went from we had the
first reason we were off for a week.
My mom came to town and we didn't
wanna, like, have to juggle all that. And
it was good to get a break. Mhmm.
I was emotionally drained from that visit. Not
not because my mother is emotionally draining. She's
really not.
In some ways, she and I are very
similar and so we vibe well.
But the dynamic between her and her sister,
trying to manage that,
so two grown women don't like
I don't know. Yeah. Do whatever they would
do that would be negative
that I'm trying to avoid. They they need
a handler.
And when I stopped trying to be that
person, because I just couldn't do it anymore
and I recognized that was the healthiest way,
is to not insert myself and try and
fix a 60 year old problem between the
two of them.
The first question I got was, you sure
are quiet. Mhmm. I don't have anything to
say. You don't? Nope. Because in my head,
I'm like, you don't wanna fucking hear what
I gotta say. Anyway, so we went from
that into
finally get our getting our kitchen floor
replaced,
we,
so first of all, if you don't recall,
the kitchen floor got flooded from a faulty
dishwasher back in October.
Yeah.
May 2025, we finally got the kitchen floors
replaced. Mhmm. And we had originally been told
the place
hot minute to pick out the tile.
Mhmm.
And, thankfully, they were very patient about that.
Yeah. Five samples later. Right? We kept coming
in and carting out samples. Yep. And we
were on our last thing, and I was
like, if we don't pick it from here,
we gotta go somewhere else because these people
clearly don't have it. And,
you know, then they sent the installers
out to, you know, give us the estimate
and everything on on putting it down. Mhmm.
And,
he was here, what, Thursday? On Thursday? He
came in on Thursday. And, you know, he's
he's like,
you know, I can give price was good.
Yeah. Yeah. It was a price. Price was
really good.
And,
And not for, like, like, some back alley,
like, shoddy, like No. No. No. Hey. I
got some growl under a a trench coat
company.
Not that. Not that. Have I got some
tile for you? Right. Not that kind of
a deal.
But,
you know, and then and then he rolls
out. He goes, I can start Monday.
And we went We're like, what?
Please start Monday. Yeah. But it meant we
had to then take the other week off.
Because he said that, you know, it was
a three day process and fine, you know,
first day in rip out and clean and
get it repaired, and then
next day come in and,
put the tile down.
And then following that
And then the grouting. Grout. Yep.
So, yeah. It's it's all done. The floor
is done.
The trim work still has to be done.
We we have to put the trim work
back in,
and also
we have to,
pull out the kick plate from the cabinets.
Which we think and hope and That that
is all we have to be replaced. The
the cabinets themselves are okay. Yep.
Yeah. So go from there.
Yeah. Because the cabinets, whatever damage they might
have sustained,
would not be enough for our insurance to
pay for all of the cabinets to be
replaced. So we would have, like,
janky mismatch. I don't like our cabinets that
much, but I don't want them to be
mismatched either. So it's yeah. I'm like, if
it if we don't have to worry about
it, let's not.
Now in the middle of all this Yeah.
JB
was supposed to,
show up the Monday, the nineteenth. That was
the nineteenth, I think. When the floors were
starting
for jury duty. Oh, that's right. That's what
he was supposed to do. And he kept
forgetting, and I had to keep reminding him
because he was dreading it and he didn't
wanna do it. I'm the nosy bitch who's
like, put me on a jury. The one
time I did it, I fucking loved
it. Oh, to be that nosy and to
literally be mandated to judge something, oh, as
in fucking heaven.
Anyway,
Jamie does not feel that way
on jury duty and was dreading it. Now,
we were also, like, I was trying to
hype him up. First, I was like, oh,
maybe they won't ask y'all to come in
and we used the notification system they had.
He had to go. Then I was like,
well, maybe they'll let you go that one
that first day and you just lose the
one day, but no big
deal. JB,
what did you do to yourself? He hurt
himself. He had to go to the doctor
that Monday.
I got out of jury duty though. I
did. I did.
Lola and I kinda have this this little
thing.
When when she goes out in the backyard
to do her thing,
when she's done, she gets wound up,
and she will she will charge,
full tilt
and
we had kinda gotten into a routine when
she come when I see her start charging
like that, I'll throw open the back door,
She'll come running in and I'll chase in
right behind her and and, you know, get
her to play a little bit.
And that's what I was,
aiming to do.
And I I threw open the back door.
She came bolting in
and I wound myself up to
come in right after her,
and I slammed my foot on the door
jam.
Oh, the little pinky baby toe. You know,
somehow the worst toe ever hit, it hurts
the worst of all of them, somehow. I
don't understand why. And, yeah. It,
hurt like a son of a bitch. He
basically screamed. We all the whole house came
running. Like, what is happening here? And,
kinda let it go. And,
by later that evening, it was very swollen.
Mhmm. And it had turned several
shades of color. Yeah. And it wasn't like,
oh, it's a little red. This we were
the black. We were like verging on. Mhmm.
That can't be healthy. No.
So,
decided to let it
sit overnight and see how it felt in
the morning.
Mhmm. Come morning, it was more swollen, and
the second toe
was swollen. Mhmm.
The colors were even more vivid.
Yeah. And we, like, have a
general understanding that usually with, like, a broken
toe. They're probably gonna tape it. There might
not be much that they can do, but
the colors were making us very nervous. I
was like, that that can't be right. Right.
That can't be right.
So first thing did, contacted
county.
Oh, let me tell you this. Though, thankfully,
it's an online Yeah. Sit situation.
We were prepared for him to have to
call once the office opened. Right. But it's
five something in the morning. We got up
early. He was supposed to be at jury
duty at, what, 07:30? Seven thirty. We didn't
know what time the flooring people were gonna
be there. Like, we were just up and
at them, and he stumbles back onto the
bedroom after getting up and making his cup
of coffee. He's like,
I think I need to see a doctor.
I'm like, okay. Yeah. Let's organize this. So
I'm explaining to him, okay. You can't call
the doctor's office till 7AM.
Let me see. And he was online trying
to figure out what it's supposed to be
for dirty. I'm like, give me that phone.
And I found where you can electronically
request
to be excused for something other than the
reasons listed where it's an automatic excuse.
And we were doing this day of, so
I was like, you are probably gonna have
to call and follow-up.
We in the I wrote the little notification.
I was like, I hurt my foot over
the weekend. I'm going to the doctor this
morning to have it checked out. I will
happily provide documentation
of this visit if you
need me to. And then what? How like,
an hour later? No. Less than? Less than
fifteen, twenty minutes after that. You get an
automatic notification. Yep. You are ecstatic. Dismissed.
It's like, oh, okay.
I was like, look, you you had to,
like, bang your foot up, but you got
out of jury duty. Yeah. Yeah.
So,
yeah. I I off to the doctor.
I went
and,
spent the entire morning.
You were there for a hot ass minute.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They they they fit
I we didn't go didn't go to ER.
Didn't go to urgent care.
Went to our called our our Primary. Primary
and, was able to get in because they
do every they have do everything in office
anyway, anyhoo.
And, you know, went in,
they did
a x-ray of the foot
and all that and,
wasn't broken.
No, no sign of a fracture.
So he was like, keep it iced and
elevated.
But it took, what, like, two and a
half hours to be told that. Yeah. Which
is fine. At least you got to see
our primary care. We have got we like
that office because Mhmm. They have enough doctors
that if your primary care isn't available,
like, on a same day appointment, they can
usually get you into somebody else.
And the all the doctors well, except for
one. We've encountered there have been great. Mhmm.
But we get so much better care from
our primary because she's got all the history.
She knows us. It's like,
when he was having to go in for
something else that he was dealing with, when
we finally got in to see her, she
was like, it could yeah. Yeah. Keep going
down that line, but it could just be
this. Here's a medication, and two weeks later,
she's like, I feel so much better. Like,
I wish we could've gone to her first.
Right.
So, yeah, I was glad you could at
least get in with her. So, yeah. It
took a bit hot minute for me to
be able to put shoes on. And
and he kept whacking that toe on things.
Of course.
Every day. Kinda like At least once. Isn't
that that's kinda like when you bite your
lip or your cheek. Inside your mouth. You
know, you you keep yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You know? Except,
I mean, I feel a lot of empathy
when you bite your tongue or the inside
of your mouth.
But, oh, I was ready to cry with
you every time you hit that damn toe
on something. Right. Because JB is not
allowed.
I you know, opposite's track. Right? Not a
loud person. He's not overly vocal.
You know, he's he does not
show his distress
verbally.
This man was
screaming. It hurts so bad at the point.
It hurt. And it hurt. Me and the
youngest, no matter where we were in the
house, we were just converging because we're like,
clearly he's dying. We have to go nope.
He just whacked his damn toe. Yeah.
How is it feeling now?
It's Over a week later. We can have
later. It's feeling better.
Yesterday,
I worked out in the shop.
Did have my my work boots on, my
work shoes.
And,
excuse me.
As long as I did not walk
too much,
I was fine. The work boots are still
kind of
uncomfortable with the toe. Yeah.
Yeah. But, definitely getting better. It's
still just a smidge swollen.
I mean, it it might be less swollen
if you elevated it, but I saw it.
I know. Yeah.
What do I know? I don't know. I'm
not doctor.
You know? Yeah. That's,
that's that was my,
whole thing. Yeah. I forgot
yeah. The jury duty. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah.
I know you forgot about you You couldn't
remember the jury duty when you thought you
had to go. I thought I was gonna
have to drive him there. Be like, no.
Really, you're supposed to be here.
Yeah.
And I I was not jealous because I
will happily serve on a jury, but I'm
not looking for fucking jury duty. Like, I'm
not seeking it out. But I will accept
it if it comes my way.
So I was not unhappy that you
didn't have to deal with it.
And I wasn't jealous. I'm not saying I
was jealous, but, man, I'd I'd please ask
me to
make it my job so I'm judging. That's
delightful.
Because I'm not judgmental in that I'd, like,
stop and I make myself think before I,
you know,
react or respond to something where
you could be judgmental.
But that initial thought is always fucking judgmental.
And if it doesn't matter and I'm never
going to voice the thought, I am so
fucking judgmental.
I was grateful
that you did not have jury duty throughout
the floor stuff being done because,
one, I mean, I don't really wanna talk
to strangers
even if they're in my house.
So, yeah, the morning you were gone, and
the the guys who are doing the floors,
they were they're fine. They were professional. They
did their thing. They looked young, and I
guess I'm now in an age where anybody
who's not 45
looks young to me.
Yeah.
Guess this just happened.
But, yeah, I was happy that you could
be around for all the rest of it.
Because then I could just go, oops.
I'm not around. Let me go find something
else to do. You got to babysit Lola.
Oh, yes.
We didn't wanna keep her in her crate
for all that time. That was no cool.
No good. No. So we kept her in
the office so that she had access to
going outside. We brought her water in here
so she, you know, she wasn't gonna be
uncomfortable.
Yeah.
But the amount of crying. Yeah. You know,
and it's and it's not that she's,
you know, aggressive or anything because she's not.
She she loves people and that was that
was the deciding factor because she probably would
not have left them alone. No. She'd have
tried to be all in their business. She's
she's very curious so she would have been
in there and I had to figure out
what they're doing Mhmm. And why they're doing
it. Mhmm. It was funny. I I prepared
them. I was like, look. We're gonna have
our dog in the other room. She will
cry. Mhmm. She's fine. She just sounds pitiful.
And if she sees you, she'll probably bark.
They're like, okay. No problem. You know, no
big deal. Yeah. Well, they they laughed their
ass off that,
the first day because she just cried and
cried and cried. And I did not wanna
be in there with her because JB wasn't
there. I wanted to be out and available
if the guys needed anything. So I'm sitting
in the living room
reading my book, living my best fucking life,
listening to the dog cry as if we
have broken her heart. Right. And then by
day the end of day two and then
definitely into day three, they would be more
visible because they would be at that end
of the kitchen next to the door leading
into the office. And she would stand there
and she would bark, but it was not
her big girl mean voice. It was her
who the fuck are you voice. And it
would get that laughing. And the tail was
doing the the metronome. You know? And the
pity ears were up, like standing at attention
pity ears. Mhmm. And,
they would they would just talk to her
through the door.
Then so my favorite part is what she
would do
with judgment
in her eyes. She would see them
bark, like, who the fuck are you? And
then if she caught one of us in
her line of sight, she would
turn to look at us and
go, what the fuck? Yeah.
Who are these people?
Like, I'm not letting you out. You're just
gonna sit there Yeah. And be sad. I
don't know what to tell you. Mhmm.
Yeah. She did not spend a lot of
time in the office after the floors were
tight. No.
No. She's in here now. She's sleeping on
her cot. Mhmm. But yeah. No. That was
basically two and a half days. She was
like, that's that's enough. I'm done now.
So
Yeah.
But, yeah, that that was our
adventures.
Yep.
I'd
the the week we were meant to be
on a break, I tried to do that
right. I did not do a lot of
work. Then when we found ourselves, like, with
another break,
I was going, ah, like, the three days
of the floors, I could do some. I
couldn't do a lot, whatever whatever, which was
fine. But then there was, like, that Thursday,
Friday. I'm like, I could work. And I
went, but I really don't feel like it.
So I've kind of had two weeks off,
give or take. You know, there's packaging orders,
and there's some stuff that has to happen
no matter what. But it's like, oh. And
then, shockingly enough,
I had a lot of energy when this
week started
and was ready to be productive. It's almost
like when you take a break, it is
easier to get things
done when you're done with the break. I
know. Who knew? Who
knew? So
now I am I'm sitting in this office
where middle of the day working in here
in the middle of the day is almost
impossible,
And we have
things piled up. They're all jobs for me.
I have to process that. I have to
put away that. I need to do that.
I need to figure out where this is
and it's been sitting here for three weeks,
some of it.
I'll get to it. I started I started
digging through some of it the other day.
Mhmm. Yeah. Poor JB, every time he turns
around, I'm like, here's another empty box. And
it's not like a box. It's like eight
by eight. It's like
two feet by two feet and probably a
foot deep. It's like this massive I'm like
here.
Mhmm. And then I realized, every once in
a while, I end up on
a certain side of the algorithm.
Typically,
like,
straight people married side of an algorithm, which
is fascinating.
And then I go, oh, I guess that's
me too. And I am
the,
stereotype
of the wife who has never
broken down a box in her life. She
thinks they just live in the garage and
then the the box fairy makes them go
away. I would not know.
I mean, I clearly, I'm a functional adult.
I know that you break in the box
and you put in your I'd put it
out there for the but I don't know
what process he has. I don't know which
ones he breaks down and which ones he
keeps whole. I don't know. Does he put
them out the night before, the trash pickup
when we put down the barrels or does
he go out in the morning? There's a
whole system. I'm not aware of it. Right.
I just put him in the garage. System
and there's variables that go along with it.
So And I'm not fucking up a good
system if it already works.
I'll just make him aware of a box,
and my job is done.
So Yeah.
But yeah.
For all intents and purposes, we're back. Mhmm.
We're on a modified schedule. Yep. Part of
me feels very good about that. And then
part of me who is a people pleaser
from way back is like, oh, somebody will
be disappointed.
Oh, I feel selfish for taking care of
myself. I really need to work on that.
Really need to work on that. You do.
You do. So
I think taking a certain amount of a
break is what allows us to, like, maybe
have new ideas or look at things from
a fresh perspective.
And retain our sanity. I'm gonna well, there's
a
I mean, I feel like I gave that
up many years ago. I think the day
I was like, you know what I'm gonna
do? I'm gonna record my thoughts on this
janky laptop sitting in a closet. But I
I don't know on the calendar what date
this will fall on. We will celebrate our
tenth
podcast anniversary in August. Mhmm.
Yeah. Got some ideas for some giveaways.
No clue beyond that. Like, hadn't hadn't gotten
that far, but we will. And I feel
like if I say it, I can't forget
our anniversary. There have been years.
Literally forgot until we were, like, almost in
September. And I'm like, oh, yeah. By the
way
Yeah. This is this is kind of a
big one, though. Yeah. It's ten years. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We should not ignore it. No. Or forget
it, really. Not ignore it. Just forget it.
But with that being said,
I am starting to feel sick to my
stomach again. And my neck coolly thing has
melt is melty, and there's no cooling properties
left. Time to turn out some of these
lights and open doors again. Yeah. Yep. And
put on my raggedy sleeveless shirt that shows
way too much, so I would not wear
it on camera. But,
man, at least it's a a little cooler.
Yeah. So I guess that means we're gonna
go. Yeah. Thanks for being here Mhmm. To
the better end. Absolutely. For anybody who sent
in a question, gave us a question, thank
you so much for that. Mhmm.
And we will talk to y'all next week.
Bye.