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You're listening to Loving BDSM podcast episode four

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forty. Kayla Lords here with the one, the

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only, the guy who looks as tired as

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I probably look and would probably love to

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curl up,

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to take a nap. John Brownstone. That's right.

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If I was capable of napping, I too

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would wanna curl up and take a

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nap.

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And that's not a euphemism. That I don't

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mean fuck. I mean sleep.

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Sleep. I am. I get it. Snores and

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all. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yep. Yeah. Not gonna happen.

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No. That's okay. This week, we're continuing our

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series about making power exchange work in the

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real world by talking about the one thing

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we think makes it all work, which is

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consistency

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with the help of routines. Mhmm. Mhmm. Welcome

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to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is

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your first time listening, glad to have you.

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If you're back for another week, welcome back.

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Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and Friday

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for your kinky pleasure in education, and show

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notes are found at lovingBDSM.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC. The PC is dancer podcast.

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On Instagram and technically threads at that handle

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I will forever fucking hate.

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Loving d s m the number one. So

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that's at loving d s one.

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On blue sky at lovingBDSM.

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Blah blah blah blah.

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Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingBDSM

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where you can watch us live stream the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes. Big thanks as always to our

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kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our newest

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peeps. What are words? How do they how

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do I say them? I don't know. We're

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able to keep being weirdos on the Internet

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with microphones,

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in large part because of our kinky patrons,

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and we are grateful for every fucking one

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of you. Indeed. If you'd like to join

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our kinky community and get access to extra

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content and a Discord server with that's really

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super chill and, like,

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it's just it's just you could just breathe

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there for a minute and just be kinky,

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you can do that. Join us at patreon,uh,

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Com / kayla lords. That's patreon.com/kaylalords

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or use the link in the show notes.

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We're gonna do that. You're gonna do that.

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That button. Let's hit the right button. And

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And we're gonna turn on the fan. So

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that will be the that you might hear

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in the background because we were just sitting

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here talking for a few minutes and I

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am once again sweating my arm. And I

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bumped the air down too. Look, I had

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a hot flash in the doctor's office this

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morning y'all. And she just looked at me

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like she's about my age or a little

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bit older. She was just pure empathy. It's

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like, yeah. I get

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it. Anyway, I'll bitch about that in the

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bonus section, I'm sure. Before we get started,

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with this week's topic,

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an announcement slash

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reminder. We are on a break.

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Really kinda technically starting from, like, Thursday or

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Friday of this week, day after recording, through

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to the Thursday of next week because my

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mom's coming to town. And

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I don't wanna juggle all the things we

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do and visit. I just went, well, let's

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take take some time. What? But there will

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be a Monday episode. There just won't be

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like, the newsletters will get all jacked up.

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Posts online will get all jacked up. That'll

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be a little

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and then the announcement part of that is

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that Friday, May 16, which is after my

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mom goes home. It's a in a week

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from the day of recording, a week and

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a whatever.

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We will have our Friday night livestream

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virtual munch,

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q and a thing that we do. So

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we'll we'll come back in on that and

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then be officially back.

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Because there probably won't be a newsletter that

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goes out that day,

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the best way to know that we're live

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is to be subscribed to our YouTube channel,

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y'all, if you're not already. I mean, I'm

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not saying that the notifications

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ever work or always work, but they they

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could be kinda useful sometimes. So if you're

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not already subscribed, we'd love to have you

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be subscribed. That'd be great. Yay. Okay.

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Okay.

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I am so annoyed

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at how tired I am today

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because I really wanna do this episode

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justice.

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Okay.

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So

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for right now, this will be the last

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episode we do for a hot minute on

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the Real World series.

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And

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the there are a lot of different topics

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we can talk about and a lot of

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different topics we have talked about, but quite

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frankly,

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probably the one once you get to communication

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and negotiations

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and limits and all like all

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the the nuts and bolts is to make

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it work in the real world. You have

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to find the way to make it work

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in the real world.

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And

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most people when they reach out to us

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with questions or concerns,

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not everybody, obviously, but a lot of people

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will be like, well, we talked about a

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thing, we started it, and then

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we stopped. Or

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my partner agreed, but then there wasn't follow

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through. And there's lots of reasons that can

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happen. So many reasons that can happen. But

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one of those reasons is you haven't built

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in

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a routine or a system that works for

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the life that you have and the people

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that you are in this moment in time.

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And

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so we thought, hey. Let's talk about how

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you can kind of do that. We cannot

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tell you how to build the perfect routine,

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but we can give you tips and strategies

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both what,

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you know, the Internet says of places we

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trust, the Internet to say, and also from

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our own experience. So you can hopefully take

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that and go away to your own life

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and go, okay.

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Let's try some things.

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Let's see. I'm going through my notes. Y'all

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don't wanna I don't wanna miss,

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anything. So we have done episodes on consistency,

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which this episode is like how to be

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consistent.

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When we talked about the importance of consistency,

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we've also talked about routines many times throughout

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all of our episodes, but we do have

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an episode on routines. And that is on

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the side where you your relationship

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staggates and it slows down and you're not

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making

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forward progress or movement and developing and growing

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in your power exchange because you're stuck in

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a rut because routines are not like all

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powerful. They're not perfect.

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But so we have that. And then because

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this is part of establishing a routine, we

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have an episode on changing

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your habits

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to fit with whatever you're trying to do

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in your power change. All of those are

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linked in the places. If you need a

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refresher or if you've never listened to or

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watched

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those, they're linked in the places that adds

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on to this. Okay?

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Because if we try to talk about all

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the things, how routines aren't always great and

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why you need to be consistent

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episode.

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So so,

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if

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if those other things aren't

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you you don't remember listening to them or

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you're not sure if there's other parts of

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it, the whys and the the hows,

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maybe go check those out and then come

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back to this one. I don't know.

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But if you're still left with questions after

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this one, go check out those others, and

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hopefully we will have answered them.

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Okay. I'm scrolling because there's

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so many notes, y'all.

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The other thing I wanna say is we

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often I went back to a story I

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posted on Instagram where I was like, hey,

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we're gonna do this series. What do you

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want us to talk about Mhmm.

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Making your power exchange work in the real

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world?

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Easily,

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10% of the responses were like, how do

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I do this with long distance? How do

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I do this with long distance?

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We've talked about that before. We also Mhmm.

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Plug

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here. We have a workbook specifically for long

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distance relationships

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on the mechanics of how to set up

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your,

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power exchange so that it works for you

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and you can keep it going

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on, you know, for however long. So if

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you are a long distance person and you

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remember

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going, hey, please talk about that at some

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point, that might help you. But also the

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stuff we're talking about today

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transfers in person,

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long distance,

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because there's not it's not a prescribed method

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of do these five things. What we're gonna

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talk about are some things to think about

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of how to figure it out for yourself.

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Okay? And what will work in your life

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right now?

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Okay.

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Now, I've said all of that, all the

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caveats, all the Mhmm. Whatevers. I what are

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words?

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Before we get into it, anything? Nope. Okay.

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Let's,

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not You don't have to let me drive

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this damn mouse. It's okay. Oh, my God.

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Okay.

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So

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as we're gonna go through the different points,

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there were things I was thinking of earlier

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to say here. I've already forgotten them. I

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hope they come back to me as we're

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talking.

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The thing about

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any of these

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steps and these things that you're going to

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do, part of it you need to do

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is document it somewhere. Take notes,

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do a voice recording, have a shared Google

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Doc, whatever your method

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of personally trying to retain

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information and information you want to share with

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a partner so that you can both keep

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up with it, do that. Okay? I don't

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care if it's in the notes app on

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your phone. Your method does not matter. It's

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can you find that information again?

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Can you remember that you have that information?

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And is it something you can share with

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your partner fairly easily? Okay?

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So,

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once you figure out what the routine will

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be,

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then

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my recommendation is until it's an ingrained habit,

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and for some of us, that's very fast,

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and for some of us, that takes a

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long time,

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then I want you to document

272
00:09:38,605 --> 00:09:38,925
that

273
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,870
what that routine is going to look like.

274
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:43,009
So you're gonna document

275
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,230
all the things as you're figuring them out.

276
00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:47,309
Right? You're gonna the conversations we're gonna suggest

277
00:09:47,309 --> 00:09:48,910
you have, the things we want you to

278
00:09:48,910 --> 00:09:50,429
think about, you're gonna document those. And then

279
00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:52,110
once you, like, go, hey. This is the

280
00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:54,245
thing we think we wanna do. You're gonna

281
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:55,764
need to document that so you can keep

282
00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:57,605
up with it. That, for some people, will

283
00:09:57,605 --> 00:10:00,085
be planners and journals and and all of

284
00:10:00,085 --> 00:10:01,684
that. For some people, it's gonna be to

285
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:04,184
do lists, which could be pen and paper

286
00:10:04,245 --> 00:10:04,745
or

287
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,620
apps. For others, it's gonna be reminders on

288
00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:11,779
your phone. The thing about a routine and

289
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,000
this was this is

290
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:15,800
I remembered when I was thinking earlier today.

291
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,679
The thing about building a routine Mhmm.

292
00:10:20,095 --> 00:10:20,595
Is

293
00:10:21,214 --> 00:10:21,714
that

294
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:23,954
you have to work with

295
00:10:24,654 --> 00:10:25,475
your reality,

296
00:10:26,574 --> 00:10:29,794
your mind body, and your wiring. Okay?

297
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,370
If you are a person who's been trying

298
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,450
for thirty years to make a bullet journal

299
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:36,529
work and it's never worked, I don't think

300
00:10:36,529 --> 00:10:37,670
it's gonna miraculously

301
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:40,050
work now that you're in power exchange and

302
00:10:40,050 --> 00:10:42,529
you're trying to create your routine. Maybe. But

303
00:10:42,529 --> 00:10:44,370
I'm just saying, as somebody who has also

304
00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:46,309
tried to make journaling work

305
00:10:46,884 --> 00:10:48,424
for thirty plus years,

306
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:51,444
we have to find different methods. Yeah. And

307
00:10:51,444 --> 00:10:53,044
sometimes the method that works for you now

308
00:10:53,044 --> 00:10:54,245
will not be the method that works for

309
00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:57,044
you later. And also to be consistent with

310
00:10:57,044 --> 00:10:58,725
the routine that you're gonna try and figure

311
00:10:58,725 --> 00:10:59,384
out together,

312
00:11:00,149 --> 00:11:03,190
each of you in the relationship are gonna

313
00:11:03,190 --> 00:11:04,789
have to use the methods that work for

314
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,529
you individually

315
00:11:06,069 --> 00:11:06,569
and

316
00:11:07,429 --> 00:11:09,909
together. So one of you might need 10,000,000

317
00:11:09,909 --> 00:11:11,209
reminders on your phone

318
00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:13,774
and a Google Calendar that's shared, and the

319
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,235
other one might need sticky

320
00:11:15,535 --> 00:11:17,235
notes in strategic places

321
00:11:17,615 --> 00:11:19,634
with the thing you're supposed to do. Like,

322
00:11:19,774 --> 00:11:22,495
work if you've never tried to find the

323
00:11:22,495 --> 00:11:24,254
methods that work for you to build a

324
00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:27,455
routine, maintain habits, keep a schedule, whatever, this

325
00:11:27,455 --> 00:11:29,110
is a great time to start playing with

326
00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:32,149
different different options. But if you know what

327
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,750
works for you, do not try to reinvent

328
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:37,190
the wheel. Just adapt that for this. You

329
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:38,730
know, one of the things that

330
00:11:39,269 --> 00:11:41,804
can be forgotten by some who are either

331
00:11:41,804 --> 00:11:43,804
new completely to power exchange or just in

332
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,384
a new relationship is we are not reinventing

333
00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:48,945
the wheel. All of your vanilla skills transfer.

334
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:51,165
Okay? Just like your kink skills can transfer

335
00:11:51,165 --> 00:11:53,245
the other way. So you don't have to

336
00:11:53,245 --> 00:11:54,785
do anything crazy and complicated.

337
00:11:55,165 --> 00:11:57,090
If you wanna try one of the,

338
00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:59,490
power exchange apps, Obedience is the one we

339
00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:00,710
know about, haven't tried.

340
00:12:01,090 --> 00:12:02,149
There are a few others.

341
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:05,250
They're still on our list to try these

342
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,309
and then report back.

343
00:12:07,170 --> 00:12:09,170
Great. But if you know this is the

344
00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:11,509
method that works for you at work,

345
00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:13,685
see how you can adapt it for your

346
00:12:13,685 --> 00:12:15,685
power exchange. Like, that's the that is one

347
00:12:15,685 --> 00:12:16,985
of the things I think people

348
00:12:17,925 --> 00:12:20,245
do forget about trying to do this. They

349
00:12:20,245 --> 00:12:21,925
think they have to do something completely different

350
00:12:21,925 --> 00:12:24,404
because the relationship style is completely different. You

351
00:12:24,404 --> 00:12:25,925
really don't have to. Work work with what

352
00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:26,700
you got and what works

353
00:12:28,139 --> 00:12:28,879
for you.

354
00:12:29,899 --> 00:12:30,460
Okay. The

355
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,860
these are in no particular order, so you

356
00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:34,139
can put them in any order you want.

357
00:12:34,139 --> 00:12:35,419
But these are the order. I wrote them

358
00:12:35,419 --> 00:12:37,660
down. First thing you're gonna do, and it's

359
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:38,960
gonna sound obvious,

360
00:12:39,340 --> 00:12:41,200
to figure out what your routine is,

361
00:12:41,914 --> 00:12:44,235
is to figure out what activities you want

362
00:12:44,235 --> 00:12:46,554
as part of your dynamic. Yeah. What do

363
00:12:46,554 --> 00:12:48,634
you wanna do together? What do you want

364
00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,574
it to look like? And that's,

365
00:12:51,115 --> 00:12:52,735
up to and including,

366
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:54,750
bedroom only

367
00:12:55,129 --> 00:12:56,669
within all parts of your life,

368
00:12:57,450 --> 00:13:00,409
specific days, specific places, like what what is

369
00:13:00,409 --> 00:13:02,250
it you're trying to do and when do

370
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,250
you ideally think you want to do it?

371
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,850
Some of y'all want what we have, which

372
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,850
is it's just ingrained into our life. Some

373
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:09,464
of y'all want very clear

374
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,644
times and spaces for that. Whether you want

375
00:13:12,644 --> 00:13:13,865
that or it's what you need,

376
00:13:14,485 --> 00:13:16,245
there you gotta figure that part out and

377
00:13:16,245 --> 00:13:17,845
you gotta do the negotiations of, hey. We're

378
00:13:17,845 --> 00:13:20,245
gonna do this power exchange thing. What's that

379
00:13:20,245 --> 00:13:21,304
gonna look like?

380
00:13:21,924 --> 00:13:24,120
Now as you're, like, figuring those things out,

381
00:13:24,279 --> 00:13:25,960
out, especially if you all are new to

382
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,659
one another or to power exchange,

383
00:13:28,919 --> 00:13:30,759
write it all down or document it, I

384
00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:33,399
should say. In whatever method you're using, all

385
00:13:33,399 --> 00:13:35,240
the ideas. Like, it's a little bit of,

386
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:35,899
like, throwing

387
00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:38,039
something at a wall. What are we throwing

388
00:13:38,039 --> 00:13:39,335
at the wall to see what sticks spaghetti

389
00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:40,855
at the wall to see what sticks? That's

390
00:13:40,855 --> 00:13:41,355
right.

391
00:13:41,975 --> 00:13:44,375
Yeah. I'm I'm already melting in here. So

392
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,995
the brain's going first, I guess.

393
00:13:47,095 --> 00:13:48,695
Because that is what you can go back

394
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,315
to and look at to kind

395
00:13:50,774 --> 00:13:53,240
of piece together later. And some stuff's gonna

396
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,000
get rejected. You're gonna think it's a great

397
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,320
idea as you're talking about it. Yeah. And

398
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,240
then once you start thinking about the mechanics

399
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,179
or you try it once, you're like, oh,

400
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,639
nope. Wrong about that one. That's okay. Okay?

401
00:14:03,639 --> 00:14:05,080
Just get it get it out of your

402
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:05,580
head.

403
00:14:06,134 --> 00:14:08,315
Get it someplace where it's shareable with

404
00:14:08,695 --> 00:14:09,975
the people who are gonna be part of

405
00:14:09,975 --> 00:14:10,715
your routine.

406
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:11,915
Okay.

407
00:14:12,375 --> 00:14:14,554
Anything you would add to that? Okay.

408
00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:18,075
The other part of this, in no particular

409
00:14:18,134 --> 00:14:18,634
order,

410
00:14:19,014 --> 00:14:20,554
is gonna need an idea

411
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:23,620
of how much control the DOM wants or

412
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,320
just can have. Right?

413
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:26,440
How much

414
00:14:27,139 --> 00:14:29,539
power the sub and control wants to give

415
00:14:29,539 --> 00:14:31,779
up. You're you gotta Mhmm. You are not

416
00:14:31,779 --> 00:14:33,700
necessarily gonna know this at the very beginning.

417
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,799
If you've never done this before, you're like,

418
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:38,705
fuck. If I know, that's fine. That's fine.

419
00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:40,884
All of this is meant to be

420
00:14:42,225 --> 00:14:44,465
figured out as you go. All of what

421
00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:46,065
we're talking about is just to get you

422
00:14:46,065 --> 00:14:47,985
started. Just like we tell you over and

423
00:14:47,985 --> 00:14:49,504
over and over again in Power Exchange that

424
00:14:49,504 --> 00:14:50,820
you're gonna go try something and then you're

425
00:14:50,820 --> 00:14:52,259
gonna have to, like, check-in with one another

426
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,160
and maybe renegotiate.

427
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,940
This is the same thing. Okay? So you're

428
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:57,960
gonna have an idea in your head

429
00:14:59,059 --> 00:15:01,639
that it might not match reality.

430
00:15:02,259 --> 00:15:03,240
You might think

431
00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:05,665
you might think, I want my Dom to

432
00:15:05,665 --> 00:15:07,504
make all decisions for me. And your Dom

433
00:15:07,504 --> 00:15:08,644
might even go, Sure.

434
00:15:09,184 --> 00:15:10,705
And then you're gonna try that and one

435
00:15:10,705 --> 00:15:12,065
or both of you are gonna go, Nope.

436
00:15:12,065 --> 00:15:14,225
That It ain't working. That's not gonna work

437
00:15:14,225 --> 00:15:15,985
for us. That's okay. That's okay. You gotta

438
00:15:15,985 --> 00:15:17,445
try it sometimes Right. To know.

439
00:15:19,230 --> 00:15:20,909
But also this is a good time to

440
00:15:20,909 --> 00:15:21,649
think about

441
00:15:22,190 --> 00:15:23,629
what would be part of your routine? What

442
00:15:23,629 --> 00:15:25,230
would be part of your tasks? What would

443
00:15:25,230 --> 00:15:26,929
be part of your rules? Right?

444
00:15:27,309 --> 00:15:27,809
So

445
00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:30,590
you don't have to be a service submissive

446
00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:32,269
for this. To me, it's easier if you're

447
00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:34,855
into service because it's like, what can I,

448
00:15:34,855 --> 00:15:37,495
as a service submissive, do for you? What

449
00:15:37,495 --> 00:15:38,615
what do you need? What will you let

450
00:15:38,615 --> 00:15:39,815
me do? What do I wanna do? What

451
00:15:39,815 --> 00:15:40,955
am I good at? Right?

452
00:15:41,335 --> 00:15:43,495
But if you're not into service, it's more

453
00:15:43,495 --> 00:15:47,059
like, okay. Do as from a submissive perspective,

454
00:15:47,839 --> 00:15:49,539
do I wanna ask permission for things?

455
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:51,839
Do I just wanna know how I'm supposed

456
00:15:51,839 --> 00:15:53,620
to act and behave and then

457
00:15:54,159 --> 00:15:56,179
do that or learn how to do that?

458
00:15:57,039 --> 00:16:00,524
Do I want very specific rules that I

459
00:16:00,985 --> 00:16:01,485
follow?

460
00:16:01,945 --> 00:16:03,945
And also high semesters. I need you to

461
00:16:03,945 --> 00:16:06,024
remember, your Dom's gotta be willing to do

462
00:16:06,024 --> 00:16:06,524
it.

463
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,125
That is true. If you wanna be micromanaged,

464
00:16:10,664 --> 00:16:12,904
but your Dom is like, I think I'm

465
00:16:12,904 --> 00:16:15,240
in the pits of hell with that. We

466
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,080
we gotta we gotta go back to the

467
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,799
the drawing board because remember, there's what your

468
00:16:19,799 --> 00:16:22,679
dom wants and can do, what you want

469
00:16:22,679 --> 00:16:24,519
and can do. And then what you're trying

470
00:16:24,519 --> 00:16:25,575
to find is the Venn diagram

471
00:16:31,735 --> 00:16:32,235
incompatibilities,

472
00:16:32,615 --> 00:16:34,235
but sometimes you find that

473
00:16:35,335 --> 00:16:38,054
your imagination has you wanting all of these

474
00:16:38,054 --> 00:16:40,490
things, and it sounds great in your imagination,

475
00:16:40,549 --> 00:16:42,710
but your reality is, like, paired back from

476
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,710
that and it's just as good. It's it's

477
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:48,309
satisfying. It's fun. It's fulfilling. It's whatever you

478
00:16:48,309 --> 00:16:49,509
want it to be and need it to

479
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:51,669
be, and yet it doesn't match anything like

480
00:16:51,669 --> 00:16:53,690
the fantasy that you thought you had. Or

481
00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:55,514
I know how some of y'all are. Your

482
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,215
20 plan with your

483
00:16:57,754 --> 00:16:59,375
I'm a call it a

484
00:17:00,794 --> 00:17:03,674
what's it called? Slideshow thing. We they now

485
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:05,214
call them decks or whatever.

486
00:17:05,515 --> 00:17:07,115
Fuck that shit. You know what I mean?

487
00:17:07,115 --> 00:17:09,934
Like, PowerPoints is what I would call them.

488
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,730
Slide decks is I think what the new

489
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,269
generations call them. Yeah.

490
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,049
What the fuck ever. Like, some of y'all

491
00:17:16,049 --> 00:17:17,970
wanna go that far and have that much

492
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:18,470
and

493
00:17:18,850 --> 00:17:21,490
go into crazy crazy detail. That's great. And

494
00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:22,610
for some of you, it might work. And

495
00:17:22,610 --> 00:17:24,325
for some of you, it's not gonna work.

496
00:17:24,325 --> 00:17:26,025
That's okay. All I'm saying is that's okay.

497
00:17:26,325 --> 00:17:28,325
But you gotta be realistic about what each

498
00:17:28,325 --> 00:17:30,485
side of you is willing to give Mhmm.

499
00:17:30,965 --> 00:17:33,445
Both from the start of what, am I

500
00:17:33,445 --> 00:17:34,884
willing to do that? Do I really want

501
00:17:34,884 --> 00:17:35,865
that? And then

502
00:17:36,299 --> 00:17:38,320
once you actually start trying it out and

503
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,940
realizing what actually works for your life. We

504
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:43,279
give this example all of the time because

505
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:44,559
it was our reality.

506
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:47,500
When we moved in together, I'm telling y'all

507
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,180
my list of things that I was supposed

508
00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:51,434
to do, keep up with, keep track of,

509
00:17:51,434 --> 00:17:53,994
remember rules. Y'all, it was 20. It was

510
00:17:53,994 --> 00:17:55,454
easily 20 things.

511
00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:58,794
I was immediately overwhelmed for a variety of

512
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:00,954
reasons. We've talked about that. Right. I do

513
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:03,294
not do 20 things now. No.

514
00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:06,460
Nope. In no world do I keep up

515
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:09,019
with 20 things as JB Submissive. It's not

516
00:18:09,019 --> 00:18:10,320
realistic for us.

517
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,000
Okay.

518
00:18:14,859 --> 00:18:16,779
Now one of the things that I I

519
00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:17,519
like to

520
00:18:18,684 --> 00:18:20,605
remind people that you can do. Some people

521
00:18:20,605 --> 00:18:21,904
want a very high touch

522
00:18:22,205 --> 00:18:24,525
power exchange. You want whether you're the dom

523
00:18:24,525 --> 00:18:26,525
or the sub, you want the dom in

524
00:18:26,525 --> 00:18:29,565
that situation to give the permission to assign

525
00:18:29,565 --> 00:18:31,325
the task, to tell you what to do

526
00:18:31,325 --> 00:18:32,144
as a submissive.

527
00:18:32,605 --> 00:18:34,305
Some people really want that.

528
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,359
I don't function that way. And plenty of

529
00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:39,599
people don't. That can either feel stifling or

530
00:18:39,599 --> 00:18:40,099
overwhelming

531
00:18:40,799 --> 00:18:43,759
or just not doable with your real life.

532
00:18:43,759 --> 00:18:45,839
I mean, this whole series has been look

533
00:18:45,839 --> 00:18:48,240
at your real life Yeah. And make this

534
00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,015
fit the life you have. Right?

535
00:18:50,555 --> 00:18:52,075
The way we do it is I have

536
00:18:52,075 --> 00:18:54,015
a couple of basic rules that I follow.

537
00:18:54,075 --> 00:18:55,355
The big one we talk about all the

538
00:18:55,355 --> 00:18:57,674
time is my truly my main rule is

539
00:18:57,674 --> 00:18:59,914
just always be respectful. Yeah. Which is what

540
00:18:59,914 --> 00:19:01,674
allows me to get away with a lot

541
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:02,894
of fucking sass.

542
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,899
As long as JB can read that I

543
00:19:05,899 --> 00:19:08,139
am still being respectful. I'm not crossing that

544
00:19:08,139 --> 00:19:09,899
line in the sand. Right. And you know

545
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,919
what? Just knowing that I need

546
00:19:12,859 --> 00:19:14,779
to approach JB in a way that's still

547
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,399
authentic to me, but with

548
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,595
his authority in mind

549
00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:20,514
is enough sometimes.

550
00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:22,835
It doesn't always I'm not always

551
00:19:24,894 --> 00:19:26,355
thinking about my headspace,

552
00:19:26,974 --> 00:19:28,994
but it is a constant reminder

553
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,900
of my place in the relationship and his

554
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:32,960
place in the relationship.

555
00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:35,419
The rest of the things I do, I

556
00:19:35,419 --> 00:19:36,319
have autonomy.

557
00:19:36,619 --> 00:19:38,380
The rules are set by JB. The tasks

558
00:19:38,380 --> 00:19:39,980
are set by JB. If I do not

559
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:41,279
do the tasks,

560
00:19:42,779 --> 00:19:44,160
there will be consequences.

561
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:46,934
But

562
00:19:47,234 --> 00:19:49,875
we set them in our negotiation, in our

563
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:51,794
routine setting, and the way we're gonna make

564
00:19:51,794 --> 00:19:53,014
this all work for ourselves.

565
00:19:54,115 --> 00:19:56,034
And then it's I get to just sort

566
00:19:56,034 --> 00:19:56,855
of do them.

567
00:19:57,875 --> 00:19:59,940
And what that looks like I think am

568
00:19:59,940 --> 00:20:01,880
I gonna get there? Hold on.

569
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:04,659
I gotta look at my notes. I don't

570
00:20:04,819 --> 00:20:06,500
yeah. Okay. We'll get there. Yep. I'll talk

571
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,659
about how I make that work because some

572
00:20:08,659 --> 00:20:11,539
people need set time and day and some

573
00:20:11,539 --> 00:20:13,445
people don't. Like, you gotta work with who

574
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:15,285
you are to create the Oh, yeah. To

575
00:20:15,285 --> 00:20:16,424
find the routine. Right?

576
00:20:17,845 --> 00:20:19,065
Okay. So

577
00:20:19,765 --> 00:20:21,684
let's do a quick recap. You figured out

578
00:20:21,684 --> 00:20:22,965
what you think you wanna do as part

579
00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:23,785
of your dynamic.

580
00:20:24,085 --> 00:20:25,765
You have discussed and have come up with

581
00:20:25,765 --> 00:20:27,525
notes and some plans of how much control

582
00:20:27,525 --> 00:20:28,859
the Dom's gonna have, how how much control

583
00:20:28,859 --> 00:20:30,880
the submissive is gonna give up. Okay. Great.

584
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:31,839
You are,

585
00:20:32,539 --> 00:20:34,700
thinking about how you want that to look.

586
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:36,559
Do you want some autonomy as a submissive?

587
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:38,460
Do you want a lot of high touch?

588
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:40,059
Give me permission for this, that, and the

589
00:20:40,059 --> 00:20:40,559
other.

590
00:20:41,019 --> 00:20:42,539
The next thing you're gonna need to do

591
00:20:42,539 --> 00:20:44,265
to figure out what this routine looks like

592
00:20:46,184 --> 00:20:48,605
is what do y'all do well as individuals?

593
00:20:48,984 --> 00:20:49,484
Because

594
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:53,224
some people think it's a little bit like

595
00:20:53,224 --> 00:20:54,045
gender roles,

596
00:20:54,585 --> 00:20:57,065
and the stereotypes and cliches of those. There

597
00:20:57,065 --> 00:20:57,565
are

598
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:00,059
stereotypes and cliches of air quote what a

599
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:00,799
sub does.

600
00:21:01,820 --> 00:21:03,500
No. A sub does what they're willing to

601
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,180
do that their dom wants. That's what a

602
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:05,920
sub does.

603
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,700
Subs don't automatically cook and clean. Subs don't

604
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:09,200
automatically

605
00:21:10,315 --> 00:21:12,414
walk behind somebody. Subs don't automatically

606
00:21:12,715 --> 00:21:13,934
do certain things.

607
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,555
If especially with service, if that's gonna be

608
00:21:16,555 --> 00:21:18,255
part of your your dynamic,

609
00:21:19,115 --> 00:21:20,974
service comes in all kinds of forms.

610
00:21:21,434 --> 00:21:23,595
I am not the one who's best equipped

611
00:21:23,595 --> 00:21:25,180
to do laundry in this house because We

612
00:21:25,180 --> 00:21:27,019
would all be naked and it would all

613
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,240
smell moldy. Okay?

614
00:21:30,140 --> 00:21:32,640
But I am the one that's best equipped

615
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:34,460
to pay the bills and deal with the

616
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,700
money. Now part of that's a grown up

617
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:37,200
responsibility,

618
00:21:37,660 --> 00:21:39,180
but part of that is the service I

619
00:21:39,180 --> 00:21:41,474
take on Mhmm. So JB doesn't have to.

620
00:21:41,474 --> 00:21:43,315
And anybody who's been around a hot minute

621
00:21:43,315 --> 00:21:46,194
knows it wasn't always that way. Correct. We

622
00:21:46,194 --> 00:21:48,375
flipped it over the years. Mhmm. So

623
00:21:50,035 --> 00:21:52,194
while you're thinking of, here are the things

624
00:21:52,194 --> 00:21:53,555
I'm gonna do on my power exchange. Here

625
00:21:53,555 --> 00:21:54,674
are the things I can do on my

626
00:21:54,674 --> 00:21:56,580
power exchange. You have to add in, am

627
00:21:56,580 --> 00:21:58,660
I even good at that and willing to

628
00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:00,099
do it or willing to get good at

629
00:22:00,099 --> 00:22:02,259
it? Right? And some of that you've got

630
00:22:02,259 --> 00:22:02,920
to be

631
00:22:03,460 --> 00:22:04,680
real with yourself.

632
00:22:05,380 --> 00:22:05,880
Okay?

633
00:22:06,980 --> 00:22:08,279
If you know

634
00:22:09,255 --> 00:22:12,295
that you're going to burn the eggs every

635
00:22:12,295 --> 00:22:13,595
time you scramble them,

636
00:22:14,455 --> 00:22:17,174
maybe your job in this relationship should not

637
00:22:17,174 --> 00:22:17,835
be cooking.

638
00:22:18,615 --> 00:22:19,835
Yeah. Leave the eggs anyway.

639
00:22:20,615 --> 00:22:22,889
Look. Look. I I have air quote, boiled

640
00:22:22,889 --> 00:22:24,649
a pot of water until there was no

641
00:22:24,649 --> 00:22:25,869
water in it. Okay?

642
00:22:30,490 --> 00:22:33,369
Like, let's just be real here. Now can

643
00:22:33,369 --> 00:22:35,884
you decide that you wanna get good at

644
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:37,325
that and that will be part of your

645
00:22:37,325 --> 00:22:38,704
power exchange journey?

646
00:22:39,085 --> 00:22:40,384
Of course you can.

647
00:22:41,005 --> 00:22:43,085
But, you know, as you think of the

648
00:22:43,085 --> 00:22:44,924
things you ideally want to do within your

649
00:22:44,924 --> 00:22:47,244
power exchange, I I desperately need you to

650
00:22:47,244 --> 00:22:48,529
be honest with yourselves

651
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,763
about what what you like to do, what

652
00:22:51,763 --> 00:22:53,789
you can do, what you're willing to do.

653
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:55,789
Because part of one of the hardest things

654
00:22:55,789 --> 00:22:57,549
in building a routine and setting it and

655
00:22:57,549 --> 00:22:58,210
being consistent

656
00:22:58,830 --> 00:23:00,830
is fighting yourself every step of the way

657
00:23:00,830 --> 00:23:02,305
because you're dreading that thing. And so then

658
00:23:02,305 --> 00:23:04,384
you procrastinate on it until what? You get

659
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:06,465
in trouble or you let your sub down

660
00:23:06,465 --> 00:23:08,085
or now there's, you know,

661
00:23:08,945 --> 00:23:11,105
upset feelings and the power exchange because it's

662
00:23:11,105 --> 00:23:12,144
like you said, you would do the thing

663
00:23:12,144 --> 00:23:13,845
and you're not doing the thing because

664
00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:15,904
it's the worst fucking thing for you to

665
00:23:15,904 --> 00:23:16,140
do.

666
00:23:17,420 --> 00:23:19,839
Like, no. Don't do that. Don't do that.

667
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,460
Sometimes you will think you can do a

668
00:23:22,460 --> 00:23:24,220
thing and then you'll start and you'll realize,

669
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:25,980
nope. Not for me. What do I got

670
00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:29,119
myself into? Right. Yeah. Okay. So

671
00:23:29,785 --> 00:23:31,464
we're being honest about what we do well

672
00:23:31,545 --> 00:23:33,244
Yeah. And what we're willing to do.

673
00:23:33,785 --> 00:23:36,285
Now here's the part and this is where

674
00:23:38,664 --> 00:23:39,884
people kinda get

675
00:23:40,345 --> 00:23:42,664
twisted about having a routine and keeping up

676
00:23:42,664 --> 00:23:44,045
with it and the being consistent.

677
00:23:45,630 --> 00:23:47,710
What does your schedule look like? What does

678
00:23:47,710 --> 00:23:49,710
your life look like? Do you have a

679
00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:51,950
ridge a fairly rigid schedule where you go

680
00:23:51,950 --> 00:23:53,150
to work at the same time every day,

681
00:23:53,150 --> 00:23:54,750
your kid if you're a parent your kids

682
00:23:54,750 --> 00:23:55,950
go to school at the same time every

683
00:23:55,950 --> 00:23:58,029
day, everybody's home at the same time. This

684
00:23:58,029 --> 00:23:59,789
is whether you live together or not. You're

685
00:24:00,029 --> 00:24:02,615
you can count on a schedule most of

686
00:24:02,615 --> 00:24:03,194
the time.

687
00:24:03,654 --> 00:24:05,434
That will be one kind of routine.

688
00:24:06,214 --> 00:24:07,275
Is your life

689
00:24:08,134 --> 00:24:10,934
constantly changing? Your job will have a different

690
00:24:10,934 --> 00:24:13,275
schedule every week. You'll have a different commitment

691
00:24:13,335 --> 00:24:15,929
every week. You gotta sing and that and

692
00:24:15,929 --> 00:24:17,630
and you don't know from week to week.

693
00:24:17,769 --> 00:24:19,789
That's gonna be a different kind of routine.

694
00:24:19,849 --> 00:24:20,349
Mhmm.

695
00:24:21,210 --> 00:24:23,470
If you try to set up something where

696
00:24:23,609 --> 00:24:24,509
at 05:00

697
00:24:24,809 --> 00:24:27,065
in the afternoon every day, you send a

698
00:24:27,065 --> 00:24:28,984
text and it has to be at 05:00.

699
00:24:28,984 --> 00:24:31,305
But sometimes at 05:00, you're out on a,

700
00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:33,865
like, a, what, a field coaching a sport

701
00:24:33,865 --> 00:24:35,484
ball for some small children?

702
00:24:35,785 --> 00:24:37,224
Maybe that's not when you can send the

703
00:24:37,224 --> 00:24:39,559
text. Right? Or make the phone call. If

704
00:24:39,559 --> 00:24:40,539
at 05:00,

705
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,759
you're, like, in a business meeting. I don't

706
00:24:42,759 --> 00:24:44,619
know what business people do, but those,

707
00:24:45,079 --> 00:24:47,180
maybe that's not that's not the thing to

708
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:48,619
to do. Right?

709
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,940
So you've got to know your own

710
00:24:53,444 --> 00:24:54,664
schedule. Mhmm.

711
00:24:55,605 --> 00:24:57,144
Also know Know thyself.

712
00:24:57,765 --> 00:24:59,684
This whole thing about the routine is know

713
00:24:59,684 --> 00:25:02,325
thyself. The whole the whole fucking thing. And

714
00:25:02,325 --> 00:25:04,005
some of it you're gonna figure out as

715
00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:05,605
you go. Some of it you're gonna think

716
00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:07,365
that you want and can do and it's

717
00:25:07,365 --> 00:25:09,000
gonna be great. And then you're gonna do

718
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,700
it and go, I fucking hate this.

719
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,580
And that's okay. You're gonna shift and change.

720
00:25:13,799 --> 00:25:16,200
Or you're gonna do a thing for six

721
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:16,700
months,

722
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:18,059
a year,

723
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,414
and then your life's gonna change. Oh, well,

724
00:25:20,414 --> 00:25:22,335
none of that works. It doesn't fit anymore.

725
00:25:22,335 --> 00:25:23,555
None of this works anymore.

726
00:25:24,255 --> 00:25:25,955
Mhmm. The name of the game is flexibility.

727
00:25:26,335 --> 00:25:28,654
The name of the game is flexibility. Now,

728
00:25:28,654 --> 00:25:30,255
again, remember, I'm telling you, I want you

729
00:25:30,255 --> 00:25:33,055
to document all of these things because you've

730
00:25:33,055 --> 00:25:34,130
gotta to me,

731
00:25:34,670 --> 00:25:35,710
you need to be able to go back

732
00:25:35,710 --> 00:25:37,549
and look at it. Right? Because we're trying

733
00:25:37,549 --> 00:25:38,930
to find the Venn diagram

734
00:25:39,390 --> 00:25:41,150
of all of these things and what comes

735
00:25:41,150 --> 00:25:44,190
out that overlaps and is doable. Right? And

736
00:25:44,190 --> 00:25:45,329
that you want to do.

737
00:25:46,029 --> 00:25:46,529
Now

738
00:25:47,694 --> 00:25:49,375
here, after you've done all that, now it's

739
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:50,974
time to be thinking about what will this

740
00:25:50,974 --> 00:25:52,034
routine look like.

741
00:25:53,615 --> 00:25:56,095
That I'll give you just a little a

742
00:25:56,095 --> 00:25:57,855
little peek into mine. I talk about it

743
00:25:57,855 --> 00:25:59,214
all the time. If you've been here, you

744
00:25:59,214 --> 00:26:01,315
probably know it better than I do. Okay?

745
00:26:01,990 --> 00:26:03,750
I'll start the night before because that's how

746
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:06,069
my day starts. Right before when we go

747
00:26:06,069 --> 00:26:07,750
to bed, I get the coffee pot ready

748
00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:10,069
at night Mhmm. Without fail. Unless I am

749
00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:13,349
literally sick and cannot function Correct. That is

750
00:26:13,349 --> 00:26:14,250
what I am doing.

751
00:26:14,630 --> 00:26:16,214
So So that in the morning, when JB

752
00:26:16,214 --> 00:26:17,015
wakes up, all he has to do is

753
00:26:17,015 --> 00:26:18,335
hit the button and he's got a cup

754
00:26:18,335 --> 00:26:20,055
of coffee. After I get the coffee pot

755
00:26:20,055 --> 00:26:21,654
ready, I'm going into the bedroom. I am

756
00:26:21,654 --> 00:26:23,894
pulling down the covers. I am putting JB's

757
00:26:23,894 --> 00:26:25,654
pillow the way he likes. I am tucking

758
00:26:25,654 --> 00:26:27,974
in chairs. I am putting shit away, and

759
00:26:27,974 --> 00:26:29,835
I'm getting myself ready for bed.

760
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:31,859
And part of that on days when I'm

761
00:26:31,859 --> 00:26:33,220
wearing my collar is to stand there like

762
00:26:33,220 --> 00:26:34,659
a good girl and wait for my collar

763
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:36,819
to come off. Mhmm. That's not a surface

764
00:26:36,819 --> 00:26:39,220
thing. That's a submissive thing. I don't wear

765
00:26:39,220 --> 00:26:40,519
my collar to bed because

766
00:26:41,299 --> 00:26:42,434
I feel like I'm choking,

767
00:26:42,914 --> 00:26:44,914
and I get overstimulated and I get panicky

768
00:26:44,914 --> 00:26:46,914
and it can't stay on. So it's gotta

769
00:26:46,914 --> 00:26:48,595
come off. We have a bit of a

770
00:26:48,595 --> 00:26:50,755
routine with that. Right? We have a little

771
00:26:50,755 --> 00:26:51,414
bit of,

772
00:26:51,795 --> 00:26:53,015
what's the word I want?

773
00:26:53,795 --> 00:26:55,559
There's a word for that that's not routine.

774
00:26:56,580 --> 00:26:58,259
It's a kind of an intimate moment. I

775
00:26:58,259 --> 00:26:59,779
can't think of the word, but y'all probably

776
00:26:59,779 --> 00:27:00,680
know what I mean.

777
00:27:01,140 --> 00:27:03,320
And that's that's a point of connection. Right?

778
00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:05,779
And then I bend my naked ass over

779
00:27:05,779 --> 00:27:07,619
the fucking bed, and I wait for permission

780
00:27:07,619 --> 00:27:09,595
to go to bed. That's my routine. Is

781
00:27:09,595 --> 00:27:11,355
there a set time that that happens? No.

782
00:27:11,355 --> 00:27:13,355
Because sometimes we go to bed at 09:45

783
00:27:13,355 --> 00:27:16,154
at night, and sometimes it's midnight. Yeah. The

784
00:27:16,154 --> 00:27:18,474
routine is always the same. Right. When I

785
00:27:18,474 --> 00:27:19,535
wake up in the morning,

786
00:27:20,634 --> 00:27:21,869
what time I wake up depends on the

787
00:27:21,869 --> 00:27:23,950
day we're having. Today, I had to wake

788
00:27:23,950 --> 00:27:26,109
up at 6AM and I was very cranky

789
00:27:26,109 --> 00:27:28,289
about it. Tomorrow, I have to wake

790
00:27:28,990 --> 00:27:31,089
up at 5AM and I will be crankier.

791
00:27:31,869 --> 00:27:34,505
The time is irrelevant in our

792
00:27:34,964 --> 00:27:36,644
routine. When I wake up, and wake up

793
00:27:36,644 --> 00:27:38,484
doesn't just mean my eyes have just opened.

794
00:27:38,484 --> 00:27:40,404
It is when I am physically ready to

795
00:27:40,404 --> 00:27:42,644
get out of the fucking bed. That is

796
00:27:42,644 --> 00:27:44,805
mostly on me. That is my decision to

797
00:27:44,805 --> 00:27:46,990
make. In our relationship, JP JB is not

798
00:27:46,990 --> 00:27:48,589
coming in going, you need to get up.

799
00:27:48,589 --> 00:27:50,669
I mean, unless I laid there for hours.

800
00:27:50,669 --> 00:27:53,630
You Right. Back a million years ago when

801
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:55,970
I used to actually air quote sleep late

802
00:27:56,669 --> 00:27:59,809
past 07:00 in the morning, he might. But

803
00:27:59,869 --> 00:28:01,754
that's not our life now. Right? Yeah. When

804
00:28:01,754 --> 00:28:03,674
I get out of bed, then the routine

805
00:28:03,674 --> 00:28:04,575
begins again.

806
00:28:05,274 --> 00:28:07,034
I have things I need to do. I

807
00:28:07,034 --> 00:28:09,034
do the litter boxes for the cats. Mhmm.

808
00:28:09,034 --> 00:28:11,034
That's not a service thing. That's just a

809
00:28:11,115 --> 00:28:13,740
that's how we divvied up. It's a household

810
00:28:13,740 --> 00:28:15,259
thing. Right. That's how we divvied some stuff

811
00:28:15,259 --> 00:28:17,099
up. But a service thing is I get

812
00:28:17,099 --> 00:28:19,259
JV's probiotic out because if he does not

813
00:28:19,259 --> 00:28:21,039
see it, he does not take it. Nope.

814
00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:24,539
I make JV's iced coffee. Yes. And I

815
00:28:24,539 --> 00:28:26,380
try to make it early enough in my

816
00:28:26,380 --> 00:28:27,359
morning routine

817
00:28:27,980 --> 00:28:28,480
where

818
00:28:29,115 --> 00:28:31,515
wherever time he's going out to work in

819
00:28:31,515 --> 00:28:33,595
the shop or whatever he's doing, his coffee's

820
00:28:33,595 --> 00:28:35,515
already there for him. Once I've got the

821
00:28:35,515 --> 00:28:38,234
stuff set up that JB needs, then the

822
00:28:38,234 --> 00:28:40,795
morning is mine to do whatever I'm gonna

823
00:28:40,795 --> 00:28:43,214
do. And sometimes I'm real efficient and sometimes

824
00:28:43,275 --> 00:28:44,015
I'm not.

825
00:28:45,089 --> 00:28:47,429
Throughout the day, middle of the day,

826
00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:49,990
I'm I'm working. JB's working.

827
00:28:50,289 --> 00:28:52,309
We're being parents. We're doing all that stuff.

828
00:28:52,529 --> 00:28:54,210
What JB will do then is he might

829
00:28:54,210 --> 00:28:55,670
come to me with a task.

830
00:28:56,130 --> 00:28:59,009
He assigns tasks as needed. I have certain

831
00:28:59,009 --> 00:28:59,265
things

832
00:29:00,065 --> 00:29:01,765
that I do morning and evening.

833
00:29:02,065 --> 00:29:03,684
I'm always respectful.

834
00:29:04,065 --> 00:29:06,144
He he is always the decider. None of

835
00:29:06,144 --> 00:29:08,625
that changes. So anything that gets added to

836
00:29:08,625 --> 00:29:09,365
my routine

837
00:29:09,984 --> 00:29:11,664
is because he's making the ask and he's

838
00:29:11,664 --> 00:29:12,704
like, hey, I need you to do this

839
00:29:12,704 --> 00:29:13,765
for me baby girl.

840
00:29:14,384 --> 00:29:14,884
Okay?

841
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,299
That routine works and is fulfilling to us

842
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,619
because it works with our life.

843
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:22,440
First thing in the morning and last thing

844
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:24,119
at night is when you're probably gonna get

845
00:29:24,119 --> 00:29:26,859
most of my undivided attention. You just are.

846
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,679
Middle of the day, I got shit going

847
00:29:28,679 --> 00:29:30,585
on. On. You're you're you're already by that

848
00:29:30,585 --> 00:29:31,644
point, you're so

849
00:29:32,025 --> 00:29:33,065
deep down in your,

850
00:29:33,865 --> 00:29:35,484
Right. Yeah. And

851
00:29:35,785 --> 00:29:37,384
for those of you, because I know you

852
00:29:37,384 --> 00:29:38,765
and I'm gonna tell y'all

853
00:29:39,065 --> 00:29:40,984
in part of this research how I was

854
00:29:40,984 --> 00:29:42,205
reminded of these things.

855
00:29:42,820 --> 00:29:44,580
For some of y'all, the idea of having

856
00:29:44,580 --> 00:29:46,420
to do a prescribed thing at a specific

857
00:29:46,420 --> 00:29:48,660
time every day is either just not realistic

858
00:29:48,660 --> 00:29:50,259
or it makes your brain hurt. You're like,

859
00:29:50,259 --> 00:29:51,160
I just can't.

860
00:29:51,700 --> 00:29:52,519
Then don't.

861
00:29:53,220 --> 00:29:56,015
Then don't. Negotiate that and don't.

862
00:29:56,315 --> 00:29:57,674
For some of you, you're like us. Your

863
00:29:57,674 --> 00:29:59,295
life is so fucking busy.

864
00:29:59,674 --> 00:30:02,414
You don't have lots of dedicated time

865
00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:05,115
all the time to give to the power

866
00:30:05,115 --> 00:30:05,615
exchange.

867
00:30:06,154 --> 00:30:08,974
Fine. Figure out when you do have dedicated

868
00:30:09,035 --> 00:30:12,250
time. For long distance folks, this is extremely

869
00:30:12,309 --> 00:30:14,650
important because the only way you're gonna maintain

870
00:30:15,670 --> 00:30:18,470
a consistent power exchange is to figure out

871
00:30:18,470 --> 00:30:21,190
your routine and probably some kind of schedule,

872
00:30:21,190 --> 00:30:22,789
but it doesn't have to be a hard

873
00:30:22,789 --> 00:30:23,355
and fast

874
00:30:23,835 --> 00:30:24,815
anything. Okay?

875
00:30:25,275 --> 00:30:27,434
For y'all, go back to my shameless plug.

876
00:30:27,434 --> 00:30:29,454
We've got the workbook. It's literally worksheets.

877
00:30:29,755 --> 00:30:31,434
Yeah. So you can you can figure these

878
00:30:31,434 --> 00:30:32,414
things out for yourself.

879
00:30:34,554 --> 00:30:36,474
They don't have to be big tasks. They

880
00:30:36,474 --> 00:30:38,794
don't have to be they can be they

881
00:30:38,794 --> 00:30:39,269
can be as,

882
00:30:40,070 --> 00:30:42,230
as, you know, much fuckery as you want

883
00:30:42,230 --> 00:30:43,750
them to be. Part of your routine could

884
00:30:43,750 --> 00:30:45,990
be how you end your day and whichever

885
00:30:45,990 --> 00:30:48,390
one of you is the sub is like

886
00:30:48,390 --> 00:30:51,430
in a position or naked or bent over

887
00:30:51,430 --> 00:30:53,015
something. Like, it can be

888
00:30:53,315 --> 00:30:54,835
that or it can be this is a

889
00:30:54,835 --> 00:30:56,434
thing you do because your dom asked you

890
00:30:56,434 --> 00:30:57,734
to and you get it done

891
00:30:58,914 --> 00:31:00,755
at whatever point works for both of y'all

892
00:31:00,755 --> 00:31:01,734
within your life.

893
00:31:02,355 --> 00:31:02,855
Okay?

894
00:31:04,755 --> 00:31:06,940
It can be as much or as little

895
00:31:06,940 --> 00:31:08,779
as you want slash need it to be

896
00:31:08,779 --> 00:31:10,480
and that is extremely important

897
00:31:10,859 --> 00:31:13,359
for people with hectic busy crazy schedules.

898
00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:16,240
Go back to what last week, your caregiving

899
00:31:16,299 --> 00:31:17,839
for a child or an adult,

900
00:31:18,454 --> 00:31:19,575
that'll take a lot of your time and

901
00:31:19,575 --> 00:31:22,855
energy. You have a chronic, illness, you're injured,

902
00:31:22,855 --> 00:31:25,494
you your body will not hell, your mind

903
00:31:25,494 --> 00:31:27,335
will not always let you do the things

904
00:31:27,335 --> 00:31:30,134
that are prescribed time of day or in

905
00:31:30,134 --> 00:31:31,115
a certain way,

906
00:31:32,039 --> 00:31:33,900
then don't try to make yourself do that.

907
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:34,620
Find

908
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:35,900
little things

909
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,740
that let you feel connected

910
00:31:38,279 --> 00:31:38,720
Mhmm.

911
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,940
That can fit within the schedule.

912
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,820
Let me say it again. If you want

913
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,674
to do I do this at 9AM and

914
00:31:45,674 --> 00:31:47,075
I do this at 5PM and I do

915
00:31:47,315 --> 00:31:47,815
cool.

916
00:31:48,275 --> 00:31:50,275
But if that makes your brain hurt, it

917
00:31:50,275 --> 00:31:51,095
does mine,

918
00:31:51,794 --> 00:31:52,294
say,

919
00:31:52,914 --> 00:31:54,054
when I wake up,

920
00:31:55,394 --> 00:31:57,500
when I have my first meal, what

921
00:31:57,799 --> 00:32:00,200
like, because those things might change day to

922
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,279
day. But if you're doing them around a

923
00:32:02,279 --> 00:32:04,359
thing you're already doing, then it doesn't matter

924
00:32:04,359 --> 00:32:05,579
what time of day it is.

925
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:06,460
K?

926
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,759
Or if it's, oh, I have to ask

927
00:32:08,759 --> 00:32:11,019
permission before I do x y z,

928
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:11,900
then

929
00:32:12,359 --> 00:32:14,173
for my subs subs out there who like

930
00:32:14,173 --> 00:32:16,330
a little autonomy, what time of day works

931
00:32:16,330 --> 00:32:18,487
best for you to ask for permission for

932
00:32:18,487 --> 00:32:20,645
things you know you're going to need permission

933
00:32:20,645 --> 00:32:22,802
for? Long distance folks, get used to asking

934
00:32:22,802 --> 00:32:24,960
for permission if that's part of your dynamic

935
00:32:25,119 --> 00:32:26,960
well before the time you need the answer

936
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,480
because you might not get an answer right

937
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:30,480
when you want it. That's true even when

938
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,799
you like live live together. If I can't

939
00:32:32,799 --> 00:32:35,279
get to JB and like look his him

940
00:32:35,279 --> 00:32:37,519
eyeball to eyeball to ask for permission for

941
00:32:37,519 --> 00:32:39,519
something and I have to send a text,

942
00:32:39,519 --> 00:32:41,285
maybe I'm out for the day, maybe he's

943
00:32:41,285 --> 00:32:43,365
out for the day. I learned from being

944
00:32:43,365 --> 00:32:45,605
long distance. I sure as shit better ask

945
00:32:45,605 --> 00:32:47,144
as soon as I think of it

946
00:32:47,445 --> 00:32:50,484
because he might not see that text until

947
00:32:50,484 --> 00:32:52,164
it's after the time I wanted to do

948
00:32:52,164 --> 00:32:54,005
the thing. If I'm driving, I'm picking up

949
00:32:54,005 --> 00:32:55,224
the phone. Exactly.

950
00:32:56,619 --> 00:32:59,279
But that to me, that gives you

951
00:33:00,940 --> 00:33:03,900
options. It lets you fit the dynamic and

952
00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:05,980
the things you're gonna do and the tasks

953
00:33:05,980 --> 00:33:07,740
you're gonna do and the rules you're gonna

954
00:33:07,740 --> 00:33:08,204
implement

955
00:33:10,044 --> 00:33:12,784
into your current life, whatever

956
00:33:13,085 --> 00:33:14,065
that looks like.

957
00:33:14,605 --> 00:33:15,105
Okay?

958
00:33:16,845 --> 00:33:19,005
Go if you're like, I really suck at

959
00:33:19,005 --> 00:33:21,325
doing habits and changing and doing new things.

960
00:33:21,325 --> 00:33:22,464
Go back to our episode

961
00:33:23,005 --> 00:33:25,259
on changing, you know, learning new habits, changing

962
00:33:25,259 --> 00:33:26,000
old habits.

963
00:33:26,619 --> 00:33:27,899
We talked a little bit in that, I

964
00:33:27,899 --> 00:33:30,619
think, about habit stacking, which is my favorite

965
00:33:30,619 --> 00:33:31,119
thing.

966
00:33:32,460 --> 00:33:34,220
I struggle with it, but it is my

967
00:33:34,220 --> 00:33:35,759
favorite way to get a new habit.

968
00:33:37,024 --> 00:33:39,345
I know to take my morning meds because

969
00:33:39,345 --> 00:33:40,784
I do that when I eat my breakfast

970
00:33:40,784 --> 00:33:42,724
and I eat breakfast every day because

971
00:33:43,264 --> 00:33:45,345
after years of not, I now can't function

972
00:33:45,345 --> 00:33:47,125
without breakfast first thing in the morning.

973
00:33:48,544 --> 00:33:49,044
I

974
00:33:49,424 --> 00:33:51,365
have the make the coffee

975
00:33:51,839 --> 00:33:53,859
for JB in the morning routine

976
00:33:54,559 --> 00:33:56,419
centered around certain things I'm already doing.

977
00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:58,480
I make my breakfast is in the air

978
00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,960
fryer or the microwave or whatever. Well, while

979
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,659
that's going, I'm making the coffee.

980
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:04,480
Oh. I walked out here to do this

981
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,234
thing. Let me stop, swing by and put

982
00:34:06,234 --> 00:34:07,454
his probiotic out.

983
00:34:08,074 --> 00:34:09,755
I put it all together with stuff I'm

984
00:34:09,755 --> 00:34:11,534
already doing and I give myself

985
00:34:11,914 --> 00:34:12,974
visual hints

986
00:34:13,434 --> 00:34:14,875
of, oh, yeah. You need to do this

987
00:34:14,875 --> 00:34:15,375
thing

988
00:34:15,994 --> 00:34:18,239
so I can remember until it becomes ingrained.

989
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,719
And even then, not everything becomes ingrained. Some

990
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:22,880
of us are not wired for a habit

991
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:23,860
to be ingrained.

992
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,199
And I know the challenge of that. I

993
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:27,699
understand

994
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,239
the challenge of that. If you are the

995
00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:32,719
submissive who has that struggle and your Dom

996
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:35,094
maybe does not, or your Dom has a

997
00:34:35,094 --> 00:34:37,175
struggle but not where these specific things are

998
00:34:37,175 --> 00:34:39,434
concerned, lean lean into the power exchange

999
00:34:39,894 --> 00:34:40,635
for reminders

1000
00:34:41,094 --> 00:34:44,075
for whether they're sexy reminders or they're practical

1001
00:34:44,215 --> 00:34:44,715
reminders.

1002
00:34:45,255 --> 00:34:46,695
Because that's the other thing. People get very

1003
00:34:46,695 --> 00:34:48,295
worried about a air quote routine because they're

1004
00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:49,894
like, I'm not gonna remember. I'm not gonna

1005
00:34:49,894 --> 00:34:51,730
always remember. Okay. What will help you remember?

1006
00:34:52,109 --> 00:34:53,489
Is it a big whiteboard

1007
00:34:54,269 --> 00:34:56,269
in your bedroom or kitchen with the list

1008
00:34:56,269 --> 00:34:58,690
that you can physically see? Is it reminders

1009
00:34:58,750 --> 00:35:01,150
on your phone that pop up with alarms

1010
00:35:01,150 --> 00:35:02,589
or whatever? Hey. You gotta do this now.

1011
00:35:02,589 --> 00:35:03,969
Hey. You gotta do that now.

1012
00:35:04,925 --> 00:35:06,284
What is it for you that will help

1013
00:35:06,284 --> 00:35:08,224
you remember the things you're supposed to do?

1014
00:35:08,284 --> 00:35:09,664
Especially if you are

1015
00:35:09,965 --> 00:35:12,385
most likely neurodivergent, but I'm sure there's other

1016
00:35:12,605 --> 00:35:14,925
times this happens for folks where you can

1017
00:35:14,925 --> 00:35:16,864
do a thing every day for a year.

1018
00:35:17,005 --> 00:35:18,684
Right. And you have one day where you're

1019
00:35:18,684 --> 00:35:20,269
just not thinking thinking about it and you've

1020
00:35:22,329 --> 00:35:22,504
forgotten it for a week. Like, I get

1021
00:35:22,504 --> 00:35:24,010
it. That that's real. And and, you know,

1022
00:35:24,010 --> 00:35:24,510
that

1023
00:35:24,890 --> 00:35:27,769
let's talk about that from, you know, big

1024
00:35:27,769 --> 00:35:28,510
d perspective.

1025
00:35:29,050 --> 00:35:30,250
You know, one of the one of the

1026
00:35:30,250 --> 00:35:31,869
things that I hear a lot of

1027
00:35:32,295 --> 00:35:32,795
is,

1028
00:35:34,135 --> 00:35:36,135
you know, oh, my my my big d

1029
00:35:36,135 --> 00:35:38,614
didn't follow-up on their, you know, on my

1030
00:35:38,614 --> 00:35:39,114
task.

1031
00:35:39,494 --> 00:35:41,835
They didn't follow-up on this, follow-up on that.

1032
00:35:42,214 --> 00:35:44,135
And and, you know, that is so important.

1033
00:35:44,135 --> 00:35:45,434
That is a big part

1034
00:35:45,734 --> 00:35:46,714
of of being

1035
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,639
consistent. Because it's not just up to the

1036
00:35:49,639 --> 00:35:51,019
s type to be consistent.

1037
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,199
Right. Everybody has to be consistent in that.

1038
00:35:54,199 --> 00:35:56,039
Exactly. You know, so you you need to

1039
00:35:56,039 --> 00:35:59,844
make the, the commitment to, you know, following

1040
00:35:59,844 --> 00:36:01,224
up on what's going on.

1041
00:36:01,605 --> 00:36:03,844
And, you know, something that she that, Kayla

1042
00:36:03,844 --> 00:36:04,585
said earlier,

1043
00:36:05,445 --> 00:36:05,945
notes.

1044
00:36:06,805 --> 00:36:08,724
Notes. You know, there are times I have

1045
00:36:08,724 --> 00:36:10,565
so much stuff going on in my life.

1046
00:36:10,565 --> 00:36:12,244
I don't know which way is up or

1047
00:36:12,244 --> 00:36:13,144
down. Mhmm.

1048
00:36:13,590 --> 00:36:16,150
And and making notes and and having the

1049
00:36:16,150 --> 00:36:18,710
stuff that I can look at is is

1050
00:36:18,710 --> 00:36:21,590
tremendous. Mhmm. You know? Mhmm. And,

1051
00:36:22,630 --> 00:36:24,630
I I kinda learned some of this, you

1052
00:36:24,630 --> 00:36:26,390
know, in in other way because I I

1053
00:36:26,390 --> 00:36:27,849
do a lot of stuff with software.

1054
00:36:28,614 --> 00:36:29,114
And

1055
00:36:29,974 --> 00:36:31,434
sometimes in trying to

1056
00:36:32,454 --> 00:36:33,355
learn software,

1057
00:36:33,655 --> 00:36:35,494
you know, you're looking at manuals, you're doing

1058
00:36:35,494 --> 00:36:36,474
this, and and

1059
00:36:37,015 --> 00:36:39,894
the manuals never totally cover what is in

1060
00:36:39,894 --> 00:36:41,735
the real world when the software is out

1061
00:36:41,735 --> 00:36:42,474
in the wild.

1062
00:36:43,610 --> 00:36:45,949
So, you know, when I'm experimenting with software,

1063
00:36:46,010 --> 00:36:47,869
I'd make notes of what I do.

1064
00:36:48,250 --> 00:36:49,849
Mhmm. Because a few times now I've stumbled

1065
00:36:49,849 --> 00:36:50,989
on the stuff and,

1066
00:36:51,530 --> 00:36:53,130
like, how did I get here? How do

1067
00:36:53,130 --> 00:36:54,269
I make it happen again?

1068
00:36:54,650 --> 00:36:56,329
You know, but but that's why you you

1069
00:36:56,329 --> 00:36:58,445
wanna keep because you you need to be

1070
00:36:58,445 --> 00:37:01,005
consistent with with that. You know? It it's

1071
00:37:01,005 --> 00:37:03,184
no different than on your job you follow-up.

1072
00:37:03,565 --> 00:37:05,965
Mhmm. You know? And the thing is is

1073
00:37:06,045 --> 00:37:07,965
go back to what you said a while

1074
00:37:07,965 --> 00:37:10,125
back. Know thyself. Mhmm. If you are the

1075
00:37:10,125 --> 00:37:11,570
dom and you know

1076
00:37:12,110 --> 00:37:14,190
that you will forget shit, you will forget

1077
00:37:14,190 --> 00:37:15,730
to follow-up, you will

1078
00:37:16,110 --> 00:37:18,210
forget to pay attention at specific times.

1079
00:37:18,910 --> 00:37:21,630
One, use every tool you already have and

1080
00:37:21,630 --> 00:37:23,375
if you don't have any, go discover some

1081
00:37:23,454 --> 00:37:25,474
Right. To help yourself remember.

1082
00:37:25,855 --> 00:37:26,434
Right? Mhmm.

1083
00:37:26,815 --> 00:37:27,795
Two, if

1084
00:37:28,335 --> 00:37:29,394
remembering things

1085
00:37:29,855 --> 00:37:32,574
is a strength of your submissive partners or

1086
00:37:32,574 --> 00:37:34,655
something they're just willing to do, even if

1087
00:37:34,655 --> 00:37:36,175
they have to use all of their tools

1088
00:37:36,175 --> 00:37:38,579
that help them, lean on them. JB is

1089
00:37:38,739 --> 00:37:40,739
the absolute easiest thing to assign to me

1090
00:37:40,739 --> 00:37:42,579
is, baby girl, help me remember. I got

1091
00:37:42,579 --> 00:37:43,960
this. Now sometimes,

1092
00:37:44,260 --> 00:37:45,940
if my brain is not braining right, I'll

1093
00:37:45,940 --> 00:37:47,140
go I have a little bit of panic.

1094
00:37:47,140 --> 00:37:48,039
I mean, like,

1095
00:37:48,980 --> 00:37:50,894
hold that thought. I gotta write it down

1096
00:37:50,974 --> 00:37:52,894
five different places so I can remember to

1097
00:37:52,894 --> 00:37:54,594
figure out how I'm gonna help you remember.

1098
00:37:54,974 --> 00:37:56,735
But I take that on willingly as the

1099
00:37:56,735 --> 00:37:59,054
submissive. And that can be an act of

1100
00:37:59,054 --> 00:38:01,855
service. It can just be, hey. Mhmm. I'm

1101
00:38:01,855 --> 00:38:03,534
the dumb and I don't wanna have to

1102
00:38:03,534 --> 00:38:04,815
think about this, and I know I will

1103
00:38:04,815 --> 00:38:06,989
struggle to think about this. So you're willing

1104
00:38:06,989 --> 00:38:08,349
and you're able, I'm gonna put that on

1105
00:38:08,349 --> 00:38:09,710
you. You can call that a task if

1106
00:38:09,710 --> 00:38:10,849
you want. You can call it a service.

1107
00:38:11,070 --> 00:38:13,390
You just call it, I'm telling you to

1108
00:38:13,390 --> 00:38:14,909
do something because that's the nature of our

1109
00:38:14,909 --> 00:38:17,150
power exchange. Right. But you have to think

1110
00:38:17,150 --> 00:38:19,309
of you have to have some understanding of

1111
00:38:19,309 --> 00:38:21,489
your own strengths and weaknesses and your partner's

1112
00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:22,664
strengths and weaknesses.

1113
00:38:23,364 --> 00:38:25,684
Don't, you know, set each other up to

1114
00:38:25,684 --> 00:38:27,844
fail by trying to do something that goes

1115
00:38:27,844 --> 00:38:30,644
against every part of your personality and who

1116
00:38:30,644 --> 00:38:32,025
you actually are. What

1117
00:38:32,324 --> 00:38:33,864
what is even the point?

1118
00:38:34,804 --> 00:38:36,789
And you might get it it might get

1119
00:38:36,789 --> 00:38:38,710
good once or twice, but the amount of

1120
00:38:38,710 --> 00:38:40,469
times that you won't be able to do

1121
00:38:40,469 --> 00:38:43,349
it because it's literally not right for you,

1122
00:38:43,349 --> 00:38:44,949
that's a lot of defeat to feel for

1123
00:38:44,949 --> 00:38:47,029
something that's supposed to feel good and right

1124
00:38:47,029 --> 00:38:49,529
and fun and you know what I mean?

1125
00:38:50,025 --> 00:38:51,085
But I think sometimes

1126
00:38:51,704 --> 00:38:54,105
we want to believe that we're completely different

1127
00:38:54,105 --> 00:38:56,424
people now that we're we know we're kinkier

1128
00:38:56,424 --> 00:38:58,264
now that we're in this relationship. You are

1129
00:38:58,264 --> 00:39:00,744
still who you are Mhmm. With room to

1130
00:39:00,744 --> 00:39:02,905
improve and learn and grow Grow. Yeah. Of

1131
00:39:02,905 --> 00:39:05,500
course. And, you know, ideally, you're learning and

1132
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:06,559
growing together

1133
00:39:07,260 --> 00:39:08,159
even better.

1134
00:39:08,699 --> 00:39:11,339
But you gotta be real with yourself first.

1135
00:39:11,339 --> 00:39:14,319
Yeah. You know? If you know you struggle

1136
00:39:14,539 --> 00:39:15,440
every day

1137
00:39:15,739 --> 00:39:18,880
to just remember your basic stuff, well, what

1138
00:39:19,164 --> 00:39:21,164
tools are out there that you're already using

1139
00:39:21,164 --> 00:39:23,244
or have you spent the time trying to

1140
00:39:23,244 --> 00:39:25,085
figure out what you can do? It's a

1141
00:39:25,085 --> 00:39:26,704
self growth kind of journey,

1142
00:39:27,005 --> 00:39:29,824
life generally is, but to

1143
00:39:31,380 --> 00:39:33,139
get good at something that you know maybe

1144
00:39:33,139 --> 00:39:35,319
does not come naturally to you,

1145
00:39:36,019 --> 00:39:37,940
that's part of the journey because it's in

1146
00:39:37,940 --> 00:39:40,099
benefit to yourself, of course, but it's in

1147
00:39:40,339 --> 00:39:41,639
it benefits the relationship,

1148
00:39:41,940 --> 00:39:44,405
helps the relationship be whatever it is you

1149
00:39:44,405 --> 00:39:45,704
want it to be.

1150
00:39:46,244 --> 00:39:47,864
The other thing I think about

1151
00:39:48,885 --> 00:39:50,644
is that a lot of folks get really

1152
00:39:50,644 --> 00:39:51,784
tied up in

1153
00:39:52,085 --> 00:39:53,844
all of Power Exchange, all of kink has

1154
00:39:53,844 --> 00:39:56,744
to be really big and obvious and bold.

1155
00:39:56,804 --> 00:39:57,304
Right?

1156
00:39:57,809 --> 00:40:00,610
It's a dismissive kneeling on the floor. It's

1157
00:40:00,610 --> 00:40:02,849
a Dom standing there looking kind of commanding.

1158
00:40:02,849 --> 00:40:03,349
Right?

1159
00:40:04,210 --> 00:40:06,450
Absolutely, it can be like that. But if

1160
00:40:06,450 --> 00:40:08,950
that's not gonna work for your life,

1161
00:40:09,329 --> 00:40:10,789
your mind, or your body,

1162
00:40:11,170 --> 00:40:13,085
why are we trying to do it? Mhmm.

1163
00:40:13,144 --> 00:40:15,625
Right? Again, there's one offs. You might play

1164
00:40:15,625 --> 00:40:17,144
with it because today's a good day and

1165
00:40:17,144 --> 00:40:19,224
you can play with it. But if that's

1166
00:40:19,224 --> 00:40:21,144
not gonna work day to day, don't force

1167
00:40:21,144 --> 00:40:22,585
it into being part of your day to

1168
00:40:22,585 --> 00:40:23,484
day. Right.

1169
00:40:23,864 --> 00:40:24,684
Look for

1170
00:40:25,260 --> 00:40:27,340
small subtle things. We did that episode a

1171
00:40:27,340 --> 00:40:29,260
couple weeks ago. Right? Mhmm. Look for things

1172
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,780
that are meaningful to the two of you

1173
00:40:30,780 --> 00:40:33,440
that it's not just that nobody's gonna notice.

1174
00:40:34,059 --> 00:40:34,880
It's that

1175
00:40:36,140 --> 00:40:38,380
nobody has to notice it. It is literally

1176
00:40:38,380 --> 00:40:40,585
a thing that is important to to the

1177
00:40:40,585 --> 00:40:41,164
two of

1178
00:40:41,465 --> 00:40:43,864
you. Maybe it's if you live together. Maybe

1179
00:40:43,864 --> 00:40:45,785
it's how you meal plan. Is that the

1180
00:40:45,785 --> 00:40:47,704
job of the submissive because they're really good

1181
00:40:47,704 --> 00:40:48,905
at it and the dom is like, I

1182
00:40:48,905 --> 00:40:50,425
don't even wanna fucking think about it. Well,

1183
00:40:50,425 --> 00:40:51,945
guess what? Submissive can do it if they

1184
00:40:51,945 --> 00:40:52,739
agree to it.

1185
00:40:53,300 --> 00:40:54,039
Is it,

1186
00:40:55,139 --> 00:40:56,360
organizing the toys?

1187
00:40:57,059 --> 00:40:59,780
JB organizes the toys because that is what

1188
00:40:59,780 --> 00:41:00,440
he does.

1189
00:41:02,579 --> 00:41:05,239
And I gladly let him. But

1190
00:41:05,539 --> 00:41:07,300
maybe that's a thing that the Dom struggles

1191
00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:09,385
with and the, you know, the Smiths was

1192
00:41:09,385 --> 00:41:11,304
willing to do that for their Dom. They're

1193
00:41:11,304 --> 00:41:12,664
willing for that to be a rule that

1194
00:41:12,664 --> 00:41:13,885
they follow. Whatever.

1195
00:41:14,264 --> 00:41:17,065
Maybe it's bedtime. Maybe it's remembering to take

1196
00:41:17,065 --> 00:41:18,525
medication. Maybe like,

1197
00:41:18,984 --> 00:41:21,644
it can literally be anything in your life

1198
00:41:21,929 --> 00:41:22,909
that you

1199
00:41:23,569 --> 00:41:24,069
can

1200
00:41:24,730 --> 00:41:28,089
put the layer of power exchange over. Who's

1201
00:41:28,089 --> 00:41:29,849
in charge of this and why do we

1202
00:41:29,849 --> 00:41:31,869
do it this way? What is the motivation?

1203
00:41:32,329 --> 00:41:33,469
What is the context?

1204
00:41:33,769 --> 00:41:35,289
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You gotta take your medication

1205
00:41:35,289 --> 00:41:36,969
so, like, your blood pressure don't get too

1206
00:41:36,969 --> 00:41:37,695
high. But also,

1207
00:41:39,375 --> 00:41:41,614
me reminding you to do it is about

1208
00:41:41,614 --> 00:41:43,474
power control and taking care of.

1209
00:41:44,175 --> 00:41:46,974
You doing it when, you know, you reminding

1210
00:41:46,974 --> 00:41:49,375
your part your dom as a submissive Mhmm.

1211
00:41:49,535 --> 00:41:51,055
Is a service. Like, how

1212
00:41:51,659 --> 00:41:52,159
however

1213
00:41:52,539 --> 00:41:53,039
you

1214
00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:54,940
can think of those things, they can be

1215
00:41:54,940 --> 00:41:57,579
very mundane things that are part of your

1216
00:41:57,579 --> 00:42:00,059
routine that only have meaning to the two

1217
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:02,380
of you. And then you're not twisting yourself

1218
00:42:02,380 --> 00:42:05,235
into knots to always be doing the, quote,

1219
00:42:05,635 --> 00:42:06,135
obviously

1220
00:42:07,474 --> 00:42:10,535
air quote that real big obviously kink thing

1221
00:42:11,155 --> 00:42:13,875
because sometimes there's space for that. Our obviously

1222
00:42:13,875 --> 00:42:16,355
kink thing is when JB whales like whales

1223
00:42:16,355 --> 00:42:17,815
on my ass. Okay.

1224
00:42:18,659 --> 00:42:20,760
Because he wants to watch it jiggle usually.

1225
00:42:22,739 --> 00:42:25,559
Like, he plays my ass like bongo sometimes

1226
00:42:25,859 --> 00:42:28,179
just because the the junk in this trunk

1227
00:42:28,179 --> 00:42:29,480
is jiggly. Okay?

1228
00:42:30,819 --> 00:42:32,420
And that will be And in the most

1229
00:42:32,420 --> 00:42:33,480
pleasant of ways.

1230
00:42:34,545 --> 00:42:36,625
That might be the most overtly kink thing

1231
00:42:36,625 --> 00:42:38,065
we do in a given day and it

1232
00:42:38,065 --> 00:42:39,905
might we might only have time for it

1233
00:42:39,905 --> 00:42:40,644
once a week.

1234
00:42:41,344 --> 00:42:43,744
And that's okay. That works for us. We

1235
00:42:43,744 --> 00:42:45,605
have not air quote failed. Right?

1236
00:42:46,409 --> 00:42:48,170
The rest of it has to be part

1237
00:42:48,170 --> 00:42:49,929
of who we are in the relationship that

1238
00:42:49,929 --> 00:42:51,210
we have, but also the life that we

1239
00:42:51,210 --> 00:42:52,489
have. How many times have I said that

1240
00:42:52,489 --> 00:42:54,089
over the course of this series and over

1241
00:42:54,089 --> 00:42:55,389
440

1242
00:42:55,530 --> 00:42:56,030
episodes

1243
00:42:56,730 --> 00:42:57,389
in general?

1244
00:43:00,089 --> 00:43:00,494
Now

1245
00:43:01,454 --> 00:43:03,394
the thing about implementing a routine,

1246
00:43:04,335 --> 00:43:06,275
you will fuck it up in the beginning

1247
00:43:07,775 --> 00:43:09,635
until you finally find a rhythm.

1248
00:43:10,175 --> 00:43:12,414
You might start out real strong because you're

1249
00:43:12,414 --> 00:43:13,155
really excited.

1250
00:43:13,599 --> 00:43:14,659
Fuck it up later.

1251
00:43:15,359 --> 00:43:17,139
And by fuck it up, I don't mean,

1252
00:43:17,599 --> 00:43:20,079
you know, stop caring about it. You might

1253
00:43:20,079 --> 00:43:21,300
have a day where you forget.

1254
00:43:21,679 --> 00:43:23,920
And then that turns into two days because

1255
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:25,679
you haven't put your tools in place for

1256
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,440
how are you and sometimes your tool is

1257
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,414
your power exchange. One of you is reminding

1258
00:43:29,414 --> 00:43:31,175
the other as an act of service or

1259
00:43:31,175 --> 00:43:32,235
as an act of control.

1260
00:43:32,614 --> 00:43:33,114
Right?

1261
00:43:34,055 --> 00:43:35,994
You're it's like your power exchange in general.

1262
00:43:36,215 --> 00:43:37,655
You're gonna start it with this plan of,

1263
00:43:37,655 --> 00:43:39,015
okay, in the morning, I'm gonna do this.

1264
00:43:39,015 --> 00:43:40,614
In the afternoon, I'm gonna do this. And

1265
00:43:40,614 --> 00:43:41,894
in the evening, I'm gonna do this. And

1266
00:43:41,894 --> 00:43:43,949
then you're gonna go, wait. Some of this

1267
00:43:43,949 --> 00:43:45,869
doesn't work. This is I can't do it

1268
00:43:45,869 --> 00:43:47,550
this way. You're gonna go back and you're

1269
00:43:47,550 --> 00:43:48,369
gonna adjust.

1270
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:52,369
Sometimes it's not about having even a specific

1271
00:43:52,510 --> 00:43:53,409
time of day.

1272
00:43:53,710 --> 00:43:55,150
It's here are the things you're going to

1273
00:43:55,150 --> 00:43:56,690
do as a dom or a sub

1274
00:43:56,989 --> 00:43:58,929
in any part of the day.

1275
00:43:59,364 --> 00:44:00,825
It happens when it happens.

1276
00:44:01,605 --> 00:44:03,285
That is a, I think a good one

1277
00:44:03,285 --> 00:44:05,605
for people who really hate the idea of

1278
00:44:05,605 --> 00:44:06,744
schedules and routines

1279
00:44:07,045 --> 00:44:08,805
and feeling like they have a a they

1280
00:44:08,805 --> 00:44:10,325
have to do things in a certain order

1281
00:44:10,325 --> 00:44:12,644
in a certain way all the time. Yes.

1282
00:44:12,644 --> 00:44:14,244
I hear the folks out there who are

1283
00:44:14,244 --> 00:44:16,269
like, how are you submissive if you don't

1284
00:44:16,269 --> 00:44:18,690
like that? Because that's not just what submission

1285
00:44:18,750 --> 00:44:19,250
is.

1286
00:44:22,349 --> 00:44:24,429
Me doing things for JB in the morning

1287
00:44:24,429 --> 00:44:26,349
and the night is not what makes me

1288
00:44:26,349 --> 00:44:26,849
submissive.

1289
00:44:29,425 --> 00:44:30,644
Me doing things

1290
00:44:31,105 --> 00:44:32,784
because JB said, I want you to do

1291
00:44:32,784 --> 00:44:34,704
things these things. And I went, okay. Sure.

1292
00:44:34,704 --> 00:44:36,085
Is what makes me submissive.

1293
00:44:36,385 --> 00:44:38,625
It's not you know, we work with who

1294
00:44:38,625 --> 00:44:40,625
we are. There are times JB has to

1295
00:44:40,625 --> 00:44:41,905
say to me we talked about this in

1296
00:44:41,905 --> 00:44:44,170
the past too. When his depression was really

1297
00:44:44,170 --> 00:44:45,070
bad, he's like,

1298
00:44:45,449 --> 00:44:46,989
I can't do this right now,

1299
00:44:47,690 --> 00:44:49,449
which is fine. And I honor his I'm

1300
00:44:49,610 --> 00:44:52,090
he's never not the dom, but he's not

1301
00:44:52,090 --> 00:44:54,170
actively being the dom. Well, for me, that

1302
00:44:54,170 --> 00:44:55,690
meant it was an act of service to

1303
00:44:55,690 --> 00:44:57,464
just not do that. Mhmm. And I got

1304
00:44:57,464 --> 00:44:59,085
to keep my submissive headspace,

1305
00:44:59,784 --> 00:45:01,224
and he got to get the break that

1306
00:45:01,224 --> 00:45:03,724
he needed. Mhmm. And it did not

1307
00:45:04,984 --> 00:45:07,885
pull apart or power exchange. No. Right?

1308
00:45:10,059 --> 00:45:12,539
So you're gonna put a plan together with

1309
00:45:12,539 --> 00:45:14,400
all that information you have documented.

1310
00:45:15,019 --> 00:45:16,539
What's our sched what's our life look like?

1311
00:45:16,539 --> 00:45:17,739
What are we willing to do? Who wants

1312
00:45:17,739 --> 00:45:19,260
to do what? How much control? How much

1313
00:45:19,260 --> 00:45:21,819
power? You know, what is feasible? And then

1314
00:45:21,819 --> 00:45:23,359
you're gonna try some stuff.

1315
00:45:23,984 --> 00:45:26,005
And then you're gonna check-in with one another.

1316
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:28,324
And you're gonna be forgiving of each other

1317
00:45:28,864 --> 00:45:29,844
to a point

1318
00:45:30,224 --> 00:45:31,744
if you know that one or both of

1319
00:45:31,744 --> 00:45:34,384
you are struggle with remembering stuff or or

1320
00:45:34,384 --> 00:45:35,585
changing habits. You're gonna

1321
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:38,320
everybody gets a certain level of grace and

1322
00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:40,320
then you each have to decide individually when

1323
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:41,840
you've given too much grace and they're just

1324
00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:43,920
not in it and they're not actually trying

1325
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,920
and they don't, you know, sometimes that's the

1326
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,000
reality. Sometimes people just don't act they want

1327
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,599
they want the fun of power exchange. They

1328
00:45:49,599 --> 00:45:52,094
don't want the responsibility of it. Right? They,

1329
00:45:52,635 --> 00:45:54,474
wanna make big promises because they think they're

1330
00:45:54,474 --> 00:45:55,994
gonna get something out of it, and then

1331
00:45:55,994 --> 00:45:59,375
they don't follow through not because they're neurodivergent,

1332
00:45:59,755 --> 00:46:01,994
not because their health won't let them, but

1333
00:46:01,994 --> 00:46:03,055
because they just

1334
00:46:03,434 --> 00:46:05,750
they're not invested enough. Right? It's an incompatibility,

1335
00:46:06,130 --> 00:46:07,670
and only you get to decide

1336
00:46:08,210 --> 00:46:09,829
what that line is for you.

1337
00:46:10,610 --> 00:46:12,070
Some of us who are

1338
00:46:12,849 --> 00:46:15,489
who, you know, we've been doing this long

1339
00:46:15,489 --> 00:46:17,110
term, if JB tomorrow

1340
00:46:17,514 --> 00:46:20,315
stopped doing a thing he's been doing, my

1341
00:46:20,315 --> 00:46:21,835
mind is not gonna go to he doesn't

1342
00:46:21,835 --> 00:46:24,234
want power exchange anymore. My mind's gonna go

1343
00:46:24,234 --> 00:46:26,315
to, oh my god. What is wrong? Right.

1344
00:46:26,315 --> 00:46:27,755
But when you're in a brand new power

1345
00:46:27,755 --> 00:46:29,355
exchange, you've never done this with this other

1346
00:46:29,355 --> 00:46:30,175
person before,

1347
00:46:31,769 --> 00:46:34,170
You know? There should come a point. They're

1348
00:46:34,170 --> 00:46:35,929
not doing the thing they keep saying they

1349
00:46:35,929 --> 00:46:37,929
will do when you're communicating. Hey. You said

1350
00:46:37,929 --> 00:46:39,449
you would do this and it's not happening.

1351
00:46:39,449 --> 00:46:41,690
What's going on? Can we adjust? Do you

1352
00:46:41,690 --> 00:46:42,429
need help?

1353
00:46:42,730 --> 00:46:45,050
And you get promise after promise after promise.

1354
00:46:45,050 --> 00:46:47,385
Well, that's that's on them not wanting to

1355
00:46:47,385 --> 00:46:48,765
actually do it. Right?

1356
00:46:49,065 --> 00:46:49,565
Because

1357
00:46:50,105 --> 00:46:51,065
go back to what we said at the

1358
00:46:51,065 --> 00:46:53,065
top about the messages we get from people

1359
00:46:53,065 --> 00:46:54,985
who are like, we we plan this all

1360
00:46:54,985 --> 00:46:56,344
out and we say we're gonna do it

1361
00:46:56,344 --> 00:46:57,900
and then it falls apart. Sometimes

1362
00:46:58,859 --> 00:47:01,111
because you haven't developed a routine that works

1363
00:47:01,111 --> 00:47:02,059
with your life, which is what this is

1364
00:47:02,059 --> 00:47:04,219
about. Sometimes it falls apart because one of

1365
00:47:04,219 --> 00:47:06,139
you is not as invested in this as

1366
00:47:06,139 --> 00:47:08,400
the other one for whatever the reason is.

1367
00:47:09,420 --> 00:47:11,599
So that's the line you have to decide

1368
00:47:11,739 --> 00:47:12,480
for yourself.

1369
00:47:13,994 --> 00:47:16,094
Okay. Let me scroll through these notes. Literally

1370
00:47:16,154 --> 00:47:17,375
all two pages of notes.

1371
00:47:18,315 --> 00:47:19,835
Okay. Oh, I got to the end of

1372
00:47:19,835 --> 00:47:20,335
my

1373
00:47:20,795 --> 00:47:23,275
notes. I know. That was a lot. I

1374
00:47:23,275 --> 00:47:25,375
don't know how helpful that was.

1375
00:47:26,989 --> 00:47:28,849
What are your thoughts in general

1376
00:47:29,630 --> 00:47:31,170
on power exchange and routine

1377
00:47:31,630 --> 00:47:32,130
and

1378
00:47:33,069 --> 00:47:35,469
consistency that goes with the routines and all

1379
00:47:35,469 --> 00:47:36,589
of the things that I have,

1380
00:47:37,230 --> 00:47:39,644
talked myself into a sweaty mess about for

1381
00:47:39,644 --> 00:47:41,585
the past forty five minutes. Oh, very favorably.

1382
00:47:41,804 --> 00:47:42,625
Stop that.

1383
00:47:47,324 --> 00:47:47,824
Patty.

1384
00:47:55,989 --> 00:47:58,489
No. Really? Oh. What are your thoughts?

1385
00:48:00,389 --> 00:48:01,210
Oh, goodness.

1386
00:48:03,429 --> 00:48:06,089
You're clicking around here and you you okay.

1387
00:48:07,934 --> 00:48:09,855
You know, no. I I think everything you

1388
00:48:09,855 --> 00:48:11,954
said I'm I'm behind everything you said.

1389
00:48:14,015 --> 00:48:16,335
You know, sorry. I'm I'm a little drifty

1390
00:48:16,335 --> 00:48:18,515
today and talk about that later. But,

1391
00:48:19,614 --> 00:48:20,094
yeah.

1392
00:48:20,974 --> 00:48:23,550
No. It it, you know, everything you you

1393
00:48:23,550 --> 00:48:24,610
have to have

1394
00:48:25,150 --> 00:48:25,970
that consistency.

1395
00:48:26,510 --> 00:48:28,110
There has to be. Otherwise, it's not gonna

1396
00:48:28,110 --> 00:48:30,030
work. It's gonna fall apart. But the thing

1397
00:48:30,030 --> 00:48:32,190
is and and I obviously, I agree. Yeah.

1398
00:48:32,190 --> 00:48:33,630
The thing I think some people get twisted

1399
00:48:33,630 --> 00:48:35,630
up about consistency is they think it means

1400
00:48:35,630 --> 00:48:37,335
the same as what everybody else is doing.

1401
00:48:37,335 --> 00:48:38,234
That's what consistency

1402
00:48:38,534 --> 00:48:41,014
is. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. It's not constant. It's not

1403
00:48:41,014 --> 00:48:44,394
always. Mhmm. It's in the amount of time,

1404
00:48:45,175 --> 00:48:46,954
at the time, in the ways

1405
00:48:47,655 --> 00:48:50,219
that are enough. Right. And that you can

1406
00:48:50,219 --> 00:48:51,679
count on. Mhmm.

1407
00:48:52,139 --> 00:48:54,300
I mean, yeah. It it's gotta be, you

1408
00:48:54,300 --> 00:48:55,760
know, be because what

1409
00:48:56,380 --> 00:48:57,519
that person there

1410
00:48:57,820 --> 00:48:59,260
wants to do is not something I wanna

1411
00:48:59,260 --> 00:49:01,179
do, and that that's something totally different than

1412
00:49:01,179 --> 00:49:03,914
what you want. So it has it's it's

1413
00:49:03,914 --> 00:49:05,835
tailored. It has to be tailored. There's no,

1414
00:49:05,835 --> 00:49:07,515
you know, if, and, or, but. You can

1415
00:49:07,515 --> 00:49:10,715
use general, you know, general ideas, but then

1416
00:49:10,715 --> 00:49:13,035
you've got to work it in so that

1417
00:49:13,035 --> 00:49:14,954
it fits with who and what you are.

1418
00:49:14,954 --> 00:49:17,890
Mhmm. Mhmm. And that's that's the hard part.

1419
00:49:17,890 --> 00:49:19,930
We get we are I know for some

1420
00:49:19,930 --> 00:49:21,349
of y'all, it's very dissatisfying

1421
00:49:21,730 --> 00:49:23,410
for us to go, okay. I want you

1422
00:49:23,410 --> 00:49:25,730
to write this down. Mhmm. Decide this, figure

1423
00:49:25,730 --> 00:49:27,329
out that. Okay. Now look at it and

1424
00:49:27,329 --> 00:49:29,565
what can you do? Because, you know, we

1425
00:49:29,565 --> 00:49:31,324
want, like, simple rules of, oh, if I

1426
00:49:31,324 --> 00:49:32,525
just do this in the morning and I

1427
00:49:32,525 --> 00:49:34,625
just do but that literally does not

1428
00:49:35,005 --> 00:49:36,545
work for everybody

1429
00:49:37,005 --> 00:49:39,565
for all kinds of reasons. If kink is

1430
00:49:39,565 --> 00:49:40,065
customizable,

1431
00:49:40,764 --> 00:49:42,925
the way you structure your kink life is

1432
00:49:42,925 --> 00:49:43,824
also customizable.

1433
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,936
And it has to be. It has to

1434
00:49:46,936 --> 00:49:48,420
be. I think what

1435
00:49:49,199 --> 00:49:51,760
often, you know, can mess people up is

1436
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:53,519
seeing what other people do, whether that's us

1437
00:49:53,519 --> 00:49:55,839
or somebody else you follow online or something

1438
00:49:55,839 --> 00:49:57,679
you read or some video you watched or

1439
00:49:57,679 --> 00:49:58,425
whatever whatever

1440
00:49:58,824 --> 00:50:00,585
And admiring what you see and liking it

1441
00:50:00,585 --> 00:50:03,865
and and feeling like a a a you

1442
00:50:03,865 --> 00:50:06,025
know, like you're drawn to it and then

1443
00:50:06,025 --> 00:50:06,925
trying to emulate

1444
00:50:07,465 --> 00:50:08,985
it line by line, word for word. And

1445
00:50:08,985 --> 00:50:09,485
that's

1446
00:50:11,660 --> 00:50:13,280
none of this has to have any meaning

1447
00:50:13,420 --> 00:50:15,420
at all except to you and the person

1448
00:50:15,420 --> 00:50:17,599
you're you're with. And there is no

1449
00:50:17,900 --> 00:50:20,619
air quote right amount of power change, correct

1450
00:50:20,619 --> 00:50:22,860
amount of kink for you to be kinky

1451
00:50:22,860 --> 00:50:24,160
and to have power exchange.

1452
00:50:24,619 --> 00:50:27,034
If it is literally two things out of

1453
00:50:27,034 --> 00:50:29,755
your day that are set within your power

1454
00:50:29,755 --> 00:50:30,255
exchange,

1455
00:50:31,114 --> 00:50:32,815
if it's enough for you,

1456
00:50:33,275 --> 00:50:35,755
it's enough. Right. If it's not enough for

1457
00:50:35,755 --> 00:50:37,914
you and you want more, that's a conversation

1458
00:50:37,914 --> 00:50:38,610
to have with your

1459
00:50:39,570 --> 00:50:40,070
partner.

1460
00:50:40,369 --> 00:50:42,550
Now another part of that with consistency,

1461
00:50:43,170 --> 00:50:44,789
with the help of a routine,

1462
00:50:45,170 --> 00:50:47,910
again, whatever that looks like for you,

1463
00:50:48,289 --> 00:50:50,070
really structured, not really structured,

1464
00:50:51,105 --> 00:50:52,485
As with all of us,

1465
00:50:53,025 --> 00:50:55,824
communication is the most important thing. If something

1466
00:50:55,824 --> 00:50:57,684
is going to disrupt that routine

1467
00:50:58,065 --> 00:51:00,304
that you're both counting on, that you're both

1468
00:51:00,304 --> 00:51:01,985
going, Hey, this is part of what we

1469
00:51:01,985 --> 00:51:04,380
do. This is how we kind of feel

1470
00:51:04,380 --> 00:51:06,159
connected in our power exchange.

1471
00:51:06,699 --> 00:51:08,239
You have to speak up.

1472
00:51:08,940 --> 00:51:09,440
I

1473
00:51:10,139 --> 00:51:12,460
used to never speak up and do my

1474
00:51:12,460 --> 00:51:14,079
routine through a migraine,

1475
00:51:14,699 --> 00:51:15,199
through

1476
00:51:15,659 --> 00:51:16,960
back pain, through

1477
00:51:17,260 --> 00:51:18,319
upset stomach,

1478
00:51:18,914 --> 00:51:20,755
with a really bad cold up my ass

1479
00:51:20,755 --> 00:51:22,434
should have been in in bed. No chick

1480
00:51:22,434 --> 00:51:23,494
don't fly with me.

1481
00:51:24,755 --> 00:51:26,994
I had to learn how to feel comfortable

1482
00:51:26,994 --> 00:51:28,994
and safe speaking up and going because I

1483
00:51:28,994 --> 00:51:30,780
saw it as some sort of weakness. Like,

1484
00:51:30,780 --> 00:51:32,219
I agreed to do the thing and come

1485
00:51:32,219 --> 00:51:33,739
hell or high water, I have to do

1486
00:51:33,739 --> 00:51:36,300
it or I'm not keeping my end of

1487
00:51:36,300 --> 00:51:38,559
the agreement. Well, that's bullshit. Okay?

1488
00:51:38,940 --> 00:51:40,719
Life is life and shit happens.

1489
00:51:41,340 --> 00:51:42,780
So I had to get better at going,

1490
00:51:42,940 --> 00:51:44,619
hey, daddy. I've got a I've got a

1491
00:51:44,619 --> 00:51:46,059
migraine so bad that I would really like

1492
00:51:46,059 --> 00:51:47,405
to just close this

1493
00:51:47,785 --> 00:51:48,985
eye and go sit in a dark room

1494
00:51:48,985 --> 00:51:50,985
with this eye. And he's like, what the

1495
00:51:50,985 --> 00:51:52,744
fuck are you doing standing here making me

1496
00:51:52,744 --> 00:51:54,204
a fucking cup of coffee? Right?

1497
00:51:54,585 --> 00:51:56,664
He got better at seeing the signs, but

1498
00:51:56,664 --> 00:51:58,025
he only knew to look for the signs

1499
00:51:58,025 --> 00:52:00,125
because I started communicating them to him.

1500
00:52:00,690 --> 00:52:03,170
So and that's the other thing where I

1501
00:52:03,170 --> 00:52:05,170
think some things fall apart for for folks

1502
00:52:05,170 --> 00:52:06,150
in a power exchange.

1503
00:52:06,690 --> 00:52:08,849
You agree to the the tasks and the

1504
00:52:08,849 --> 00:52:11,489
rules and the the service and however you're

1505
00:52:11,489 --> 00:52:13,275
gonna structure this. This. And you even agree

1506
00:52:13,275 --> 00:52:14,875
to the routine and you've you've figured this

1507
00:52:14,875 --> 00:52:15,994
all out. I'm gonna do this at this

1508
00:52:15,994 --> 00:52:17,835
time and this at this time. And then

1509
00:52:17,835 --> 00:52:20,094
it falls apart a little bit because life

1510
00:52:20,315 --> 00:52:21,534
gets in the way. Right?

1511
00:52:23,194 --> 00:52:24,635
The first time I think most of us

1512
00:52:24,635 --> 00:52:26,130
are gonna go, oh, something happened. No big

1513
00:52:26,130 --> 00:52:27,969
deal. But the second time or the third

1514
00:52:27,969 --> 00:52:30,449
time or you're discovering that life has, like,

1515
00:52:30,449 --> 00:52:32,049
gone off the rails in some way and

1516
00:52:32,049 --> 00:52:34,130
it's really impeding this part of your power

1517
00:52:34,130 --> 00:52:34,630
exchange.

1518
00:52:34,929 --> 00:52:36,849
When you don't talk about it, all you

1519
00:52:36,849 --> 00:52:38,769
do is look like you are

1520
00:52:40,369 --> 00:52:41,355
fuck. What is the word?

1521
00:52:42,954 --> 00:52:43,934
You're not dependable.

1522
00:52:44,315 --> 00:52:46,315
Right? That's what it looks like. It looks

1523
00:52:46,315 --> 00:52:47,675
like you're not holding up your end of

1524
00:52:47,675 --> 00:52:50,175
the bargain when actually you're juggling something.

1525
00:52:50,474 --> 00:52:52,474
And that's true whether you're living together, you're

1526
00:52:52,474 --> 00:52:54,659
long distance, you just see one another every

1527
00:52:54,659 --> 00:52:56,659
so often. If you have agreements that you

1528
00:52:56,659 --> 00:52:59,219
have mutually made and they are still important

1529
00:52:59,219 --> 00:53:00,339
to both of you and one of you

1530
00:53:00,339 --> 00:53:02,920
has to stop for legitimate reasons,

1531
00:53:03,219 --> 00:53:05,460
or hell not legitimate, but you you've gotta

1532
00:53:05,460 --> 00:53:06,519
communicate it because

1533
00:53:06,900 --> 00:53:08,659
you're you're fucking with the trust between the

1534
00:53:08,659 --> 00:53:09,135
two of you.

1535
00:53:09,934 --> 00:53:12,094
If I just didn't do my if I

1536
00:53:12,094 --> 00:53:14,014
just don't do my nighttime routine and I

1537
00:53:14,014 --> 00:53:15,855
don't say a fucking word to JB, I

1538
00:53:15,855 --> 00:53:17,295
promise you I'm a wake up the next

1539
00:53:17,295 --> 00:53:18,275
day with a consequence.

1540
00:53:19,375 --> 00:53:21,375
And how fair is that to me if

1541
00:53:21,375 --> 00:53:23,135
the if I'm getting a consequence because I

1542
00:53:23,135 --> 00:53:25,309
had a migraine I didn't talk about. Yeah.

1543
00:53:25,369 --> 00:53:26,969
Or let's say I still worked outside of

1544
00:53:26,969 --> 00:53:28,269
the home and I had a meeting

1545
00:53:28,650 --> 00:53:30,650
that went long. I just never mentioned that

1546
00:53:30,650 --> 00:53:32,590
the meeting went long. Now

1547
00:53:32,890 --> 00:53:35,869
you do have to consider each other honest,

1548
00:53:36,010 --> 00:53:38,989
dependable, trustworthy people for this to work.

1549
00:53:39,289 --> 00:53:41,275
If you have fucked up the trust in

1550
00:53:41,275 --> 00:53:42,175
your relationship,

1551
00:53:42,795 --> 00:53:43,295
then

1552
00:53:43,755 --> 00:53:45,035
you're gonna have to do a little bit

1553
00:53:45,035 --> 00:53:47,434
more than say something to prove this. That's

1554
00:53:47,434 --> 00:53:50,394
a problem that has no routine is gonna

1555
00:53:50,394 --> 00:53:53,279
fix in your power exchange. But if you

1556
00:53:53,339 --> 00:53:55,259
genuinely trust one another and you know, you

1557
00:53:55,259 --> 00:53:56,779
know, you know the other one's not gonna

1558
00:53:56,779 --> 00:53:57,519
lie to you,

1559
00:53:58,380 --> 00:54:00,139
you just gotta say something. Just go, oh,

1560
00:54:00,139 --> 00:54:02,299
I'm so sorry. I'm I'm going to miss

1561
00:54:02,299 --> 00:54:03,739
that or I missed it because

1562
00:54:04,380 --> 00:54:05,739
and we talk about this a lot in

1563
00:54:05,739 --> 00:54:08,195
long distance relationships because you don't get as

1564
00:54:08,195 --> 00:54:09,954
much opportunity to be face to face and

1565
00:54:09,954 --> 00:54:11,315
go, let me tell you about my crazy

1566
00:54:11,315 --> 00:54:12,275
day or let me tell you what my

1567
00:54:12,275 --> 00:54:13,655
day is gonna look like tomorrow.

1568
00:54:14,514 --> 00:54:15,414
As, you know,

1569
00:54:16,514 --> 00:54:17,735
those skills

1570
00:54:18,114 --> 00:54:20,755
that a long distance relationship needs are just

1571
00:54:20,755 --> 00:54:22,920
as important in an in person relationship whether

1572
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:24,500
you live together or not. Right?

1573
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:26,559
You still need to keep the lines of

1574
00:54:26,559 --> 00:54:28,880
communication open. But even if you feel like

1575
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:30,260
you sound like a broken record,

1576
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,239
I don't care if it's the fifth time

1577
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:33,059
in a row

1578
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:34,260
that,

1579
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:35,539
you know,

1580
00:54:36,554 --> 00:54:37,135
a kid

1581
00:54:37,594 --> 00:54:39,914
was projectile vomiting somewhere and you could not

1582
00:54:39,914 --> 00:54:42,234
do the thing. Just say, yeah. It's that

1583
00:54:42,234 --> 00:54:44,094
kind of season. Everybody's sick.

1584
00:54:44,554 --> 00:54:46,315
You know? I I wish it could be

1585
00:54:46,315 --> 00:54:47,755
different. You know? I don't even want you

1586
00:54:47,755 --> 00:54:49,755
to fucking apologize for it. You didn't do

1587
00:54:49,755 --> 00:54:51,594
anything wrong. I just want you to go,

1588
00:54:51,594 --> 00:54:53,119
hey. You know that thing I'm supposed to

1589
00:54:53,119 --> 00:54:54,880
do? I'm not gonna be able to do

1590
00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,680
it. You're not failing at power exchange. And

1591
00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:59,280
by talking about it, you're really not failing.

1592
00:54:59,280 --> 00:55:02,079
Okay? Because you're you're keeping that trust going,

1593
00:55:02,079 --> 00:55:03,519
and you're letting the other person know, hey.

1594
00:55:03,519 --> 00:55:04,550
I'm thinking about it. I know I need

1595
00:55:04,550 --> 00:55:05,460
to do it.

1596
00:55:06,035 --> 00:55:07,875
Something is preventing it. And if it prevents

1597
00:55:07,875 --> 00:55:09,894
it often enough, then that is the sign

1598
00:55:09,954 --> 00:55:11,335
you gotta adjust the routine.

1599
00:55:11,954 --> 00:55:13,555
Whether it's the task or the time of

1600
00:55:13,555 --> 00:55:14,055
day

1601
00:55:14,434 --> 00:55:17,015
or the order in which things are done,

1602
00:55:17,795 --> 00:55:18,855
whatever that is.

1603
00:55:20,035 --> 00:55:20,610
Whatever that is.

1604
00:55:23,170 --> 00:55:25,570
That is. I feel like this is has

1605
00:55:25,570 --> 00:55:27,670
to be so vague to be personalizable

1606
00:55:28,050 --> 00:55:29,650
that it is what is the word I

1607
00:55:29,650 --> 00:55:30,150
want?

1608
00:55:31,650 --> 00:55:32,309
A little

1609
00:55:32,769 --> 00:55:33,269
underwhelming

1610
00:55:35,694 --> 00:55:37,534
Because I can't tell you. Do this on

1611
00:55:37,534 --> 00:55:39,694
Tuesdays and do this on Thursdays. And, you

1612
00:55:39,694 --> 00:55:41,454
know, every third Saturday, if you do this,

1613
00:55:41,454 --> 00:55:43,454
hey. You'll have the you'll have the power

1614
00:55:43,454 --> 00:55:43,954
exchange.

1615
00:55:44,574 --> 00:55:45,074
No.

1616
00:55:45,694 --> 00:55:47,454
Now one thing I will add that is

1617
00:55:47,454 --> 00:55:49,295
not about this, but it was about, like,

1618
00:55:49,295 --> 00:55:50,275
the making sure

1619
00:55:50,630 --> 00:55:52,390
I felt like we were saying something that

1620
00:55:52,390 --> 00:55:54,410
could be helpful to enough people.

1621
00:55:55,510 --> 00:55:58,070
I know how I establish routines. Like, just

1622
00:55:58,230 --> 00:55:59,510
this is how I do it, and I

1623
00:55:59,510 --> 00:56:00,730
also know where I struggle.

1624
00:56:01,430 --> 00:56:02,410
So I was like,

1625
00:56:02,825 --> 00:56:04,425
okay. Let me make sure I'm getting a

1626
00:56:04,425 --> 00:56:06,445
broad spectrum of views of

1627
00:56:06,744 --> 00:56:08,765
how to implement a routine.

1628
00:56:09,305 --> 00:56:11,144
And one of the things I searched was

1629
00:56:11,144 --> 00:56:12,684
how to start a new routine.

1630
00:56:14,105 --> 00:56:15,785
And then I searched how to start a

1631
00:56:15,785 --> 00:56:17,005
new routine, neurodivergent.

1632
00:56:17,465 --> 00:56:18,125
And then

1633
00:56:18,719 --> 00:56:19,539
how to start

1634
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:20,500
autism.

1635
00:56:21,119 --> 00:56:21,619
ADHD.

1636
00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:24,980
And I don't I don't have a diagnosis

1637
00:56:25,199 --> 00:56:25,859
of anything.

1638
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:28,239
But the stuff that is clearly written by

1639
00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:28,900
and for,

1640
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,619
neurotypical folks, I went, well,

1641
00:56:32,079 --> 00:56:33,619
I'm doing what?

1642
00:56:34,674 --> 00:56:35,174
How?

1643
00:56:35,635 --> 00:56:37,394
What do you mean? And then I look

1644
00:56:37,394 --> 00:56:38,775
over at the, like, best practices

1645
00:56:39,234 --> 00:56:41,315
here's and I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. That

1646
00:56:41,394 --> 00:56:43,574
that's that's what works for me too.

1647
00:56:44,835 --> 00:56:46,514
So a lot of a lot of my

1648
00:56:46,514 --> 00:56:48,295
views on how to do this

1649
00:56:50,489 --> 00:56:52,349
come from, like, best practices,

1650
00:56:53,130 --> 00:56:55,469
air quote that real big for, like, neurodivergent

1651
00:56:55,690 --> 00:56:57,389
people because here's what I've learned.

1652
00:56:57,849 --> 00:57:01,130
You don't have to be autistic, ADHD, something

1653
00:57:01,130 --> 00:57:02,570
else blah blah blah for something to work

1654
00:57:02,570 --> 00:57:04,030
for you. Sometimes, quite frankly,

1655
00:57:04,684 --> 00:57:08,224
the the way to break down a thing

1656
00:57:08,844 --> 00:57:09,344
is

1657
00:57:09,644 --> 00:57:12,684
beneficial regardless of neurotype. Like, however your brain

1658
00:57:12,684 --> 00:57:13,344
is wired,

1659
00:57:13,644 --> 00:57:16,144
if it resonates, fucking use it. Right?

1660
00:57:16,764 --> 00:57:18,684
But I came across one article that was

1661
00:57:18,764 --> 00:57:20,340
and I don't wanna make fun of anybody

1662
00:57:25,219 --> 00:57:26,039
starting a new routine, I

1663
00:57:27,940 --> 00:57:28,440
went,

1664
00:57:28,820 --> 00:57:30,503
this list is not for me. This list

1665
00:57:30,503 --> 00:57:32,713
is not for me. This is not for

1666
00:57:32,713 --> 00:57:34,519
me. Gonna set my intentions.

1667
00:57:36,755 --> 00:57:38,434
Okay. But I don't know how that's gonna

1668
00:57:38,434 --> 00:57:40,775
help me remember to do the coffee pot.

1669
00:57:43,954 --> 00:57:45,875
So that was a little fun insight that

1670
00:57:45,875 --> 00:57:47,474
I got to have. But, yeah, the big

1671
00:57:47,474 --> 00:57:48,869
thing is you're gonna have to look at

1672
00:57:49,670 --> 00:57:51,050
all the pieces, parts of your life

1673
00:57:51,349 --> 00:57:51,849
realistically,

1674
00:57:53,829 --> 00:57:56,150
and then It's like putting together a puzzle.

1675
00:57:56,150 --> 00:57:58,950
It's an amalgamation. Yeah. Yeah. Make yourself a

1676
00:57:58,950 --> 00:57:59,610
a Frankenstein's

1677
00:57:59,910 --> 00:58:00,410
monster

1678
00:58:00,789 --> 00:58:01,849
of a power exchange.

1679
00:58:02,710 --> 00:58:05,494
Maybe not like one that's rampaging through, you

1680
00:58:05,494 --> 00:58:07,095
know, the town or anything. You don't want

1681
00:58:07,095 --> 00:58:08,695
you don't want the villagers coming after you

1682
00:58:08,695 --> 00:58:10,474
at pitchforks. You know? Right. But

1683
00:58:10,775 --> 00:58:12,055
they probably would if they knew we were

1684
00:58:12,055 --> 00:58:14,555
kinky. So whatever. Whatever. Yeah.

1685
00:58:16,135 --> 00:58:17,894
But, yeah, if you kinda keep the thought

1686
00:58:17,894 --> 00:58:19,510
in front of your mind that all all

1687
00:58:19,510 --> 00:58:21,829
of this can be personalized and customized. Yeah.

1688
00:58:21,829 --> 00:58:22,809
And there is no

1689
00:58:23,429 --> 00:58:26,230
prescriptive way that this works and what it

1690
00:58:26,230 --> 00:58:27,049
looks like.

1691
00:58:27,909 --> 00:58:29,269
You know? I know for some that could

1692
00:58:29,269 --> 00:58:31,589
be overwhelming. Too many options is is that

1693
00:58:31,750 --> 00:58:32,809
that's not helpful.

1694
00:58:36,074 --> 00:58:38,175
That's why I'm like, okay. Actually, like, document

1695
00:58:38,235 --> 00:58:40,155
the stuff. Like, step by step document it

1696
00:58:40,155 --> 00:58:41,835
down because then it's not all the things.

1697
00:58:41,835 --> 00:58:44,394
It's not anything. It's these specific things you're

1698
00:58:44,394 --> 00:58:45,215
choosing from.

1699
00:58:47,090 --> 00:58:48,869
But because it's like that,

1700
00:58:50,130 --> 00:58:52,449
there there's no bullet point list of here's

1701
00:58:52,449 --> 00:58:55,170
the perfect routine. Here's the perfect power exchange

1702
00:58:55,170 --> 00:58:55,670
setup.

1703
00:58:56,210 --> 00:58:57,349
That's all boring anyway.

1704
00:58:58,769 --> 00:59:00,710
So, yeah, that's that's the

1705
00:59:02,344 --> 00:59:04,125
beauty of and the

1706
00:59:04,744 --> 00:59:07,304
for some of us, frustrating part of this

1707
00:59:07,304 --> 00:59:09,304
is it literally can be anything Yeah. And

1708
00:59:09,304 --> 00:59:11,565
look like anything and mean anything. True.

1709
00:59:13,065 --> 00:59:15,099
So I know that's not satisfying, though.

1710
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:17,579
I know. It's not satisfying.

1711
00:59:20,039 --> 00:59:21,579
But, hopefully, that was

1712
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:23,719
a little helpful. Even if all it gave

1713
00:59:23,719 --> 00:59:25,239
you was validation because the way you're doing

1714
00:59:25,239 --> 00:59:26,804
it, you're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it.

1715
00:59:26,804 --> 00:59:28,585
We're okay. We're doing it.

1716
00:59:28,964 --> 00:59:31,045
Or, you know, one thing out of the

1717
00:59:31,045 --> 00:59:34,484
10,000 words was said here resonated. Hope that's

1718
00:59:34,484 --> 00:59:35,625
enough. I'm just sharing.

1719
00:59:36,164 --> 00:59:37,844
So I'm now sweating through the back of

1720
00:59:37,844 --> 00:59:39,300
my shirt. We can do we can be

1721
00:59:39,380 --> 00:59:41,300
I don't have anything more to add. So

1722
00:59:41,300 --> 00:59:42,500
we could be done with this part, go

1723
00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:44,099
into a bonus section, and maybe I'll sweat

1724
00:59:44,099 --> 00:59:45,380
through the front of my shirt. There you

1725
00:59:45,380 --> 00:59:46,920
go. Okay. So

1726
00:59:47,460 --> 00:59:47,860
are we,

1727
00:59:48,660 --> 00:59:50,360
are we good? I don't know.

1728
00:59:51,394 --> 00:59:52,855
Keep it kinky, y'all.

1729
00:59:53,234 --> 00:59:55,335
We will not see you next week. No.

1730
00:59:55,394 --> 00:59:56,855
We will see you on Friday.

1731
01:00:08,460 --> 01:00:10,800
Daddy, can we talk to the crickets? Yes.

1732
01:00:10,860 --> 01:00:12,380
Okay. I gotta get out of these notes.

1733
01:00:12,380 --> 01:00:13,980
That's a lot of words on pages and

1734
01:00:13,980 --> 01:00:15,440
so many bullet points y'all.

1735
01:00:15,820 --> 01:00:18,465
Some some English teacher somewhere would be

1736
01:00:21,105 --> 01:00:23,765
so annoyed with the structure of my notes.

1737
01:00:23,905 --> 01:00:25,905
Too many bullet points, y'all. Too many bullet

1738
01:00:25,905 --> 01:00:26,405
points.

1739
01:00:27,505 --> 01:00:29,125
So Whatever works for you.

1740
01:00:31,829 --> 01:00:34,309
Okay. I am so hot, y'all. I am

1741
01:00:34,309 --> 01:00:35,369
just a walking,

1742
01:00:36,550 --> 01:00:39,849
rolling hot flash at this point. It it

1743
01:00:39,989 --> 01:00:41,910
is very warm. I feel warm in here

1744
01:00:41,910 --> 01:00:44,650
too. That is validating. That is so validating.

1745
01:00:44,869 --> 01:00:47,190
And and, you know, obviously, turned the fan

1746
01:00:47,190 --> 01:00:47,474
on.

1747
01:00:48,114 --> 01:00:50,535
And, I even bumped the air before we

1748
01:00:51,075 --> 01:00:52,535
closed the door and sat down.

1749
01:00:53,635 --> 01:00:55,235
It's that time of year. Yeah. Once it

1750
01:00:55,235 --> 01:00:57,155
get hot, it stay that way. Mhmm. I

1751
01:00:57,155 --> 01:00:58,755
mean, I wish it was, like, hot hot,

1752
01:00:58,755 --> 01:01:00,755
but Yeah. Now I'm just sweaty hot. It's

1753
01:01:00,755 --> 01:01:01,414
it's it's almost

1754
01:01:02,099 --> 01:01:03,780
now getting to the point that it's gonna

1755
01:01:03,780 --> 01:01:05,619
be too hot for me to sit outside

1756
01:01:05,619 --> 01:01:07,940
and practice with the, ukulele the way I

1757
01:01:07,940 --> 01:01:08,920
do in the evenings.

1758
01:01:09,539 --> 01:01:12,099
It's getting the humidity's creeping in and sore

1759
01:01:12,099 --> 01:01:13,720
the, Florida bugs.

1760
01:01:14,579 --> 01:01:15,079
Mhmm.

1761
01:01:16,019 --> 01:01:16,920
Mhmm. So.

1762
01:01:17,474 --> 01:01:17,974
But,

1763
01:01:20,115 --> 01:01:21,474
do you wanna bitch about how tired we

1764
01:01:21,474 --> 01:01:23,575
are and why we're so fucking tired? Yeah.

1765
01:01:24,275 --> 01:01:26,755
Yeah. Well, there's there's tired because we're not

1766
01:01:26,755 --> 01:01:29,075
sleeping tonight. I mean, there's that. And then

1767
01:01:29,075 --> 01:01:30,355
there's tired because there's been a lot of

1768
01:01:30,355 --> 01:01:31,579
doctor's appointments lately.

1769
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:32,420
And

1770
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,160
the need for the doctor's appointments has just

1771
01:01:35,160 --> 01:01:38,059
added some stress and worry. Right. But, thankfully,

1772
01:01:38,119 --> 01:01:40,039
we're getting we keep getting good news for

1773
01:01:40,039 --> 01:01:42,680
these appointments. Yeah. So that's been nice. Yeah.

1774
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:44,619
I I had not been feeling well

1775
01:01:44,920 --> 01:01:46,300
for a hot minute. Mm-mm.

1776
01:01:46,734 --> 01:01:47,234
And,

1777
01:01:48,255 --> 01:01:50,574
you know, I I I learn. I know

1778
01:01:50,574 --> 01:01:52,355
better than to not say anything

1779
01:01:52,655 --> 01:01:55,315
because of that damn fucking tough love clause.

1780
01:01:55,775 --> 01:01:57,614
So I just, you know, told Taylor, hey,

1781
01:01:57,614 --> 01:02:00,114
look, you know, something's not right.

1782
01:02:01,289 --> 01:02:03,450
And which kicked off a flurry of doctor

1783
01:02:03,450 --> 01:02:03,950
visits.

1784
01:02:06,170 --> 01:02:07,789
Let's see. Two blood draws,

1785
01:02:08,809 --> 01:02:09,630
two EKGs

1786
01:02:10,170 --> 01:02:12,329
A stress test now. Stress test and an

1787
01:02:12,329 --> 01:02:12,829
echocardiogram

1788
01:02:13,369 --> 01:02:15,550
tomorrow. Day after recording. Now

1789
01:02:15,914 --> 01:02:16,655
the the,

1790
01:02:17,594 --> 01:02:19,755
the good news is thus far, everything has

1791
01:02:19,755 --> 01:02:23,114
come back very favorable. Mhmm. Okay? Mhmm. It

1792
01:02:23,114 --> 01:02:24,735
it is leaning towards,

1793
01:02:25,755 --> 01:02:28,255
higher probability that has nothing to do with

1794
01:02:28,315 --> 01:02:29,135
with the ticker

1795
01:02:29,579 --> 01:02:31,739
or anything related to it Yeah. At this

1796
01:02:31,739 --> 01:02:32,239
point.

1797
01:02:32,860 --> 01:02:33,360
So,

1798
01:02:34,780 --> 01:02:36,960
you know, looking at a couple other things,

1799
01:02:38,059 --> 01:02:40,000
one of the things they mentioned was

1800
01:02:40,380 --> 01:02:40,880
GERD?

1801
01:02:41,420 --> 01:02:42,320
Yeah. GERD?

1802
01:02:42,804 --> 01:02:44,324
I can't remember what GERD stands for, but

1803
01:02:44,324 --> 01:02:47,204
it's the digestive and the Mhmm. Reflux and

1804
01:02:47,204 --> 01:02:47,864
the stuff.

1805
01:02:48,485 --> 01:02:50,405
And and the other thing too, which he

1806
01:02:50,405 --> 01:02:51,625
reminded me which,

1807
01:02:52,485 --> 01:02:54,804
I I have bone spurs all through my

1808
01:02:54,804 --> 01:02:55,304
spine,

1809
01:02:56,099 --> 01:02:59,299
and those could be causing me Yeah. And

1810
01:02:59,299 --> 01:03:01,219
you don't just feel your back pain at

1811
01:03:01,219 --> 01:03:03,299
your back At your back. No. Always. No.

1812
01:03:03,299 --> 01:03:05,539
Radiates to the front. Radiates. Right. Just like

1813
01:03:05,539 --> 01:03:06,980
you get, you know, if you have lower

1814
01:03:06,980 --> 01:03:08,864
back, the pain can be down in your

1815
01:03:08,864 --> 01:03:11,425
legs. Mhmm. So anyway, that's what we've been

1816
01:03:11,425 --> 01:03:12,565
going through. And,

1817
01:03:12,864 --> 01:03:15,184
you know, in in the beginning of this,

1818
01:03:15,184 --> 01:03:17,344
especially when when the doctor said, well, we're

1819
01:03:17,344 --> 01:03:19,105
gonna refer you to a a a heart

1820
01:03:19,105 --> 01:03:20,965
doctor first, heart specialist first.

1821
01:03:22,949 --> 01:03:23,610
You know,

1822
01:03:23,989 --> 01:03:27,210
and, that that kinda set off some stress.

1823
01:03:27,909 --> 01:03:28,409
Yeah.

1824
01:03:29,190 --> 01:03:30,250
Yeah. You know?

1825
01:03:30,710 --> 01:03:31,110
So,

1826
01:03:31,670 --> 01:03:33,510
yeah. Right right now, you know, seeing as

1827
01:03:33,510 --> 01:03:35,769
everything's coming back good with the heart,

1828
01:03:36,364 --> 01:03:38,844
they're they're gonna start looking into it possibly

1829
01:03:38,844 --> 01:03:41,025
being, you know, something gastro related

1830
01:03:41,565 --> 01:03:43,804
and, gonna start me on a a script

1831
01:03:43,804 --> 01:03:45,644
for that for a couple weeks and see

1832
01:03:45,644 --> 01:03:46,464
how it goes.

1833
01:03:46,764 --> 01:03:47,264
Mhmm.

1834
01:03:47,724 --> 01:03:48,464
Our doctor

1835
01:03:48,764 --> 01:03:50,684
is so wonderful. Our primary care Yeah. We

1836
01:03:50,684 --> 01:03:53,150
had our, technically, our well visit, but also

1837
01:03:53,150 --> 01:03:54,829
just an office appointment. So, of course, we

1838
01:03:54,829 --> 01:03:56,269
had to still pay our co pay. It's

1839
01:03:56,269 --> 01:03:58,109
not co pay. It's our deductible. The amount

1840
01:03:58,109 --> 01:03:59,389
that we pay to go see the fucking

1841
01:03:59,389 --> 01:04:00,210
doctor Yeah.

1842
01:04:01,309 --> 01:04:03,789
Because it doesn't fall under what's covered that

1843
01:04:03,789 --> 01:04:05,969
you don't have to pay for. Yay. Right.

1844
01:04:07,114 --> 01:04:08,534
But and I

1845
01:04:08,875 --> 01:04:11,054
we go to each other's doctor's appointments

1846
01:04:11,914 --> 01:04:14,394
mostly for moral support, but also so when

1847
01:04:14,394 --> 01:04:15,914
the one of us forgets that we were

1848
01:04:15,914 --> 01:04:17,755
having an ailment, the other one could speak

1849
01:04:17,755 --> 01:04:19,849
up. Yeah. And I'm looking at our doctor

1850
01:04:19,849 --> 01:04:22,110
going, he has he's been on a journey,

1851
01:04:22,650 --> 01:04:24,510
and he does not feel good.

1852
01:04:24,890 --> 01:04:27,369
But she just she listens and she's and

1853
01:04:27,369 --> 01:04:28,410
I told her, I said, look. We had

1854
01:04:28,410 --> 01:04:30,349
to see other doctors at this practice because

1855
01:04:30,410 --> 01:04:32,410
we didn't wanna wait and, you know, you

1856
01:04:32,410 --> 01:04:34,105
you do not have openings, which is fine.

1857
01:04:34,105 --> 01:04:35,704
But could you could you look at this

1858
01:04:35,704 --> 01:04:36,445
for us?

1859
01:04:37,545 --> 01:04:39,625
And that was just it was really nice.

1860
01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:42,105
It was really validating, like, as I And

1861
01:04:42,105 --> 01:04:43,864
that and that's one thing I I like

1862
01:04:43,864 --> 01:04:46,505
about our doctor. Mhmm. Mhmm. She listens. She

1863
01:04:46,505 --> 01:04:48,619
does. She's She I don't get mad when

1864
01:04:48,619 --> 01:04:50,460
she's late into the exam room with us.

1865
01:04:50,460 --> 01:04:52,059
No. Because because I know she's got because

1866
01:04:52,059 --> 01:04:53,180
I know she was sitting in the next

1867
01:04:53,180 --> 01:04:55,500
room over listening to that person. Person talking.

1868
01:04:55,500 --> 01:04:56,000
Yeah.

1869
01:04:56,300 --> 01:04:56,800
Yeah.

1870
01:04:57,900 --> 01:04:58,400
So

1871
01:04:58,780 --> 01:05:01,739
but, yeah. We, so, you know, we'll we'll

1872
01:05:01,739 --> 01:05:03,795
see. Waiting for the, script to come through

1873
01:05:04,194 --> 01:05:06,514
Mhmm. And, try that for a couple weeks

1874
01:05:06,514 --> 01:05:08,855
and see how it how it does. Mhmm.

1875
01:05:09,714 --> 01:05:11,875
And go from there. Yep. And as I

1876
01:05:11,875 --> 01:05:12,694
got to announce

1877
01:05:13,074 --> 01:05:14,135
to a teenager

1878
01:05:14,514 --> 01:05:16,769
today, I got to find out And you've

1879
01:05:16,769 --> 01:05:18,789
got good news too. My boobs are healthy.

1880
01:05:19,570 --> 01:05:21,250
Mhmm. That was another point of stress for

1881
01:05:21,250 --> 01:05:22,530
all of us. Well, and it's all you

1882
01:05:22,530 --> 01:05:23,890
know what? Here's the thing. It is not

1883
01:05:23,890 --> 01:05:26,150
uncommon for somebody who's had their screening mammogram

1884
01:05:26,210 --> 01:05:27,809
to need to go and get a secondary

1885
01:05:27,809 --> 01:05:30,454
one diagnostic going with an ultrasound because

1886
01:05:30,914 --> 01:05:33,494
boobs are dense and, like, there's there's just

1887
01:05:34,034 --> 01:05:36,275
there's a lot going on in there. Mhmm.

1888
01:05:36,275 --> 01:05:38,434
But in my case, I have a really

1889
01:05:38,434 --> 01:05:39,815
strong family history

1890
01:05:40,710 --> 01:05:41,109
of,

1891
01:05:41,510 --> 01:05:42,730
when boobs attack.

1892
01:05:44,550 --> 01:05:45,030
So,

1893
01:05:45,510 --> 01:05:47,269
it it does add a little bit of

1894
01:05:47,269 --> 01:05:49,190
a strain because I'm like, oh, yes. This

1895
01:05:49,190 --> 01:05:51,030
family member and that family member, and here's

1896
01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,574
what my mom did to prevent that from

1897
01:05:53,135 --> 01:05:54,815
happening. And so it's like, okay, I'm worried

1898
01:05:54,815 --> 01:05:56,914
about JB's heart. My my

1899
01:05:57,614 --> 01:05:59,295
my sense of things based on everything I

1900
01:05:59,295 --> 01:06:00,894
was reading and what doctors are saying is,

1901
01:06:00,894 --> 01:06:01,394
like,

1902
01:06:01,855 --> 01:06:03,375
it may not be, but we're not gonna

1903
01:06:03,375 --> 01:06:05,319
fuck around with his fucking heart. Like, we're

1904
01:06:05,319 --> 01:06:07,079
gonna get shit checked. I guess because of

1905
01:06:07,079 --> 01:06:08,839
how my age they want, you know Right.

1906
01:06:08,839 --> 01:06:10,599
Yeah. And because, you know, they don't always

1907
01:06:10,599 --> 01:06:11,099
know.

1908
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:13,159
So, like, my part of me is going,

1909
01:06:13,159 --> 01:06:15,480
it's probably not because all these things say

1910
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,235
that some of the symptoms you would not

1911
01:06:17,235 --> 01:06:18,515
have. And I'm like, let's not fuck with

1912
01:06:18,515 --> 01:06:20,135
it. And at the same time, I'm going,

1913
01:06:20,434 --> 01:06:22,755
my boobs are probably just fine. There's a

1914
01:06:22,755 --> 01:06:24,515
higher a better than good chance that they

1915
01:06:24,515 --> 01:06:26,515
are. But right? And then you have that

1916
01:06:26,515 --> 01:06:28,535
little, like, at the back of your mind.

1917
01:06:31,170 --> 01:06:33,329
My boobs might attack me later in life,

1918
01:06:33,329 --> 01:06:35,429
but right now, they're fine.

1919
01:06:36,210 --> 01:06:37,730
Just yay. It's one of those things to

1920
01:06:37,730 --> 01:06:38,469
think about.

1921
01:06:38,929 --> 01:06:39,429
But,

1922
01:06:39,889 --> 01:06:41,650
I did look at my primary care who's

1923
01:06:41,650 --> 01:06:43,010
not the one who makes sure that I

1924
01:06:43,010 --> 01:06:44,534
have all my estrogen and estrogen and all

1925
01:06:44,534 --> 01:06:46,934
my I was like she said, how are

1926
01:06:46,934 --> 01:06:49,034
you feeling with that? I'm like, I'm having

1927
01:06:49,335 --> 01:06:51,574
more hot flashes and more brain fog, and

1928
01:06:51,574 --> 01:06:53,494
I'm not sleeping at night. I was like,

1929
01:06:53,494 --> 01:06:54,934
but I don't know if I should reach

1930
01:06:54,934 --> 01:06:57,690
out to my gynecologist before my next appointment.

1931
01:06:57,690 --> 01:06:59,690
She was like, I think you should. And

1932
01:06:59,690 --> 01:07:01,530
so what I like about that, because the

1933
01:07:01,530 --> 01:07:02,030
gynecologist

1934
01:07:02,329 --> 01:07:04,969
is fine, but she's not as like it's

1935
01:07:04,969 --> 01:07:06,570
not as good of a relationship as we

1936
01:07:06,570 --> 01:07:08,570
have with our primary care. I get to

1937
01:07:08,570 --> 01:07:10,034
go, dear blah blah.

1938
01:07:10,514 --> 01:07:13,734
Primary care blah blah said and recommended

1939
01:07:14,275 --> 01:07:16,434
that I reach out and she might actually

1940
01:07:16,434 --> 01:07:17,894
listen to me. Yeah.

1941
01:07:20,275 --> 01:07:20,514
So

1942
01:07:21,315 --> 01:07:22,835
Yeah. All all I have to say, you

1943
01:07:22,835 --> 01:07:24,614
know, there there are certain times,

1944
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:26,760
you know, like one time last night, I,

1945
01:07:27,640 --> 01:07:28,460
I got up

1946
01:07:29,480 --> 01:07:29,800
and,

1947
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:31,719
when I came back to bed, I was

1948
01:07:31,719 --> 01:07:32,860
feeling a little chilly.

1949
01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:33,820
And,

1950
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:36,360
you know, I I just got up close

1951
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:38,200
to the human furnace over here and I

1952
01:07:38,200 --> 01:07:40,974
I warmed up pretty quick. Yeah. So I

1953
01:07:40,974 --> 01:07:41,474
got

1954
01:07:42,175 --> 01:07:44,494
an last night. Oh my fucking god. Got

1955
01:07:44,494 --> 01:07:46,494
a non emergency text from the 19 year

1956
01:07:46,494 --> 01:07:48,355
old. 01:00 in the morning.

1957
01:07:50,094 --> 01:07:52,594
Look. Give me the non emergency text, but

1958
01:07:52,894 --> 01:07:54,894
they're on bypass. That phone is silent, but

1959
01:07:54,894 --> 01:07:57,030
when my baby's text or call, I fucking

1960
01:07:57,030 --> 01:07:59,030
hear it. And I still have that whatever

1961
01:07:59,030 --> 01:08:00,710
that happens when you learn how to wake

1962
01:08:00,710 --> 01:08:03,429
up the moment, like, your infant breathes a

1963
01:08:03,429 --> 01:08:05,190
little deep and you're, like, wide awake. I

1964
01:08:05,190 --> 01:08:06,250
still have that.

1965
01:08:06,789 --> 01:08:07,289
So

1966
01:08:07,590 --> 01:08:09,130
I'm yanked out of sleep.

1967
01:08:09,750 --> 01:08:10,724
+1 08.

1968
01:08:11,364 --> 01:08:13,285
Kid's responding. Fine. Fine. Fine. And then I

1969
01:08:13,285 --> 01:08:14,885
lay there. I'm like, oh, yeah. I need

1970
01:08:14,885 --> 01:08:16,164
to go back to sleep. But my heart

1971
01:08:16,164 --> 01:08:18,085
rate had jumped because it was middle of

1972
01:08:18,085 --> 01:08:19,945
the night. I heard the kid's notification.

1973
01:08:21,284 --> 01:08:22,824
So I had to calm myself down,

1974
01:08:23,340 --> 01:08:24,239
which meant I had to

1975
01:08:24,539 --> 01:08:26,560
tell myself in my head quietly,

1976
01:08:27,179 --> 01:08:28,399
unclench your jaw,

1977
01:08:30,060 --> 01:08:31,599
take a deep breath,

1978
01:08:31,979 --> 01:08:33,359
relax your shoulders.

1979
01:08:34,699 --> 01:08:36,380
And I'm kind of mean to myself in

1980
01:08:36,380 --> 01:08:38,824
my own head, so, like, I wasn't relaxing

1981
01:08:39,524 --> 01:08:41,604
myself by the way I was talking to

1982
01:08:41,604 --> 01:08:44,085
myself. That's not good. And as I'm laying

1983
01:08:44,085 --> 01:08:45,604
there thinking, okay. Maybe I'll go back to

1984
01:08:45,604 --> 01:08:48,005
sleep now. I just started boiling from the

1985
01:08:48,005 --> 01:08:50,680
inside out. And then I would doze and

1986
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:52,920
then I would boil from the inside out.

1987
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:54,939
And JB would try to cuddle with me

1988
01:08:55,479 --> 01:08:57,340
and he to him,

1989
01:08:57,800 --> 01:09:00,780
he felt cold, but the moment his skin

1990
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:01,814
touched mine,

1991
01:09:02,295 --> 01:09:05,914
that was like an atomic reaction. Like that,

1992
01:09:06,295 --> 01:09:08,795
the point where our skin literally touched was

1993
01:09:09,895 --> 01:09:11,994
hotter than the surface of the sun.

1994
01:09:12,614 --> 01:09:14,789
And so I just rolled back and forth.

1995
01:09:14,789 --> 01:09:17,449
I did my rotisserie chicken roll all night

1996
01:09:17,670 --> 01:09:19,130
trying to find a cool spot.

1997
01:09:19,430 --> 01:09:20,869
Trying my hands go numb at night so

1998
01:09:20,869 --> 01:09:22,069
I have to shift so that I can

1999
01:09:22,069 --> 01:09:24,310
get circulation back. Shifting back and forth to

2000
01:09:24,310 --> 01:09:27,590
get circulation back and breathing through the hot

2001
01:09:27,590 --> 01:09:28,090
flashes,

2002
01:09:28,630 --> 01:09:30,550
the covers were yanked off and then I'd

2003
01:09:30,550 --> 01:09:31,965
get a chill. The covers back on. Then

2004
01:09:31,965 --> 01:09:33,965
they'd be yanked off. And then we go

2005
01:09:33,965 --> 01:09:35,324
sit at the doctor's office, and she's like,

2006
01:09:35,324 --> 01:09:37,244
how are y'all doing? And I'm like, I

2007
01:09:37,244 --> 01:09:39,965
cannot I don't know my name right now,

2008
01:09:39,965 --> 01:09:41,564
but sure. Let me tell you. I didn't

2009
01:09:41,564 --> 01:09:43,485
even go into, like, any things I've been

2010
01:09:43,485 --> 01:09:45,265
dealing with. I was like, fuck it. Yeah.

2011
01:09:45,470 --> 01:09:46,670
Fuck it. I don't care right now. If

2012
01:09:46,670 --> 01:09:48,449
it's a problem, I'll call you later.

2013
01:09:50,430 --> 01:09:51,250
So yeah.

2014
01:09:53,390 --> 01:09:54,909
And you know, I never heard your phone

2015
01:09:54,909 --> 01:09:57,149
go off. Of course you did. Of course

2016
01:09:57,149 --> 01:09:58,750
you didn't. You did not hear the phone.

2017
01:09:58,750 --> 01:10:00,494
Well, think about it though. I mean, it's

2018
01:10:00,494 --> 01:10:02,015
not even the oh, of course you didn't.

2019
01:10:02,015 --> 01:10:04,255
You can't sleep with your hearing aids in.

2020
01:10:04,255 --> 01:10:04,994
That's true.

2021
01:10:05,375 --> 01:10:08,255
So when my fan is going, like, there's

2022
01:10:08,255 --> 01:10:11,135
the ceiling fan, then there's the side look.

2023
01:10:11,135 --> 01:10:12,510
When I bought that fan,

2024
01:10:12,989 --> 01:10:13,489
we

2025
01:10:14,590 --> 01:10:18,429
were broke as fuck. Okay? I didn't have

2026
01:10:18,429 --> 01:10:20,510
the extra $10 at the time to buy

2027
01:10:20,510 --> 01:10:22,670
the quiet one. I bought the cheapest one

2028
01:10:22,670 --> 01:10:24,829
that would do the job. And now that's

2029
01:10:24,829 --> 01:10:26,829
just my fan. I'm not gonna replace it

2030
01:10:26,829 --> 01:10:27,969
for no fucking reason.

2031
01:10:29,685 --> 01:10:31,925
Yeah. We got the ceiling fan, and that's

2032
01:10:31,925 --> 01:10:33,764
beautiful and delightful. And then, yeah, my wind

2033
01:10:33,764 --> 01:10:34,264
tunnel.

2034
01:10:34,965 --> 01:10:36,664
And the problem is is my,

2035
01:10:37,685 --> 01:10:39,864
the it's a small ish fan,

2036
01:10:40,324 --> 01:10:42,210
and so I have to, like I can't

2037
01:10:42,210 --> 01:10:43,810
have it pointed to my face or I

2038
01:10:43,810 --> 01:10:45,430
won't sleep at all. That's too overstimulating.

2039
01:10:45,810 --> 01:10:47,430
So I have to have it pointed to

2040
01:10:47,729 --> 01:10:50,210
reach the majority of my body that gets

2041
01:10:50,210 --> 01:10:52,130
hot, but it can't reach all of my

2042
01:10:52,130 --> 01:10:54,195
body that gets hot because it's not big

2043
01:10:54,195 --> 01:10:55,414
enough to get that.

2044
01:10:55,954 --> 01:10:57,795
And so it's like I kind of, like,

2045
01:10:57,795 --> 01:10:59,234
move around and go, what what part of

2046
01:10:59,234 --> 01:11:00,994
me can you get? Okay. Go ahead. Cool

2047
01:11:00,994 --> 01:11:01,975
that spot off.

2048
01:11:03,395 --> 01:11:05,635
Look. I'm just I'm grateful that we've gotten,

2049
01:11:05,635 --> 01:11:07,414
knock on wood, nothing but good news.

2050
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:10,000
Right. It's all I mean, I'm I'm annoyed

2051
01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:12,239
by my own hot flashes, but Yeah. Everything

2052
01:11:12,239 --> 01:11:12,739
else

2053
01:11:13,119 --> 01:11:15,439
is fine. You know? Yeah. Silent. You know?

2054
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:17,039
Yeah. I don't deny it. There there are

2055
01:11:17,039 --> 01:11:18,579
times I'm so dead asleep.

2056
01:11:19,280 --> 01:11:21,280
And, you know, it's funny with both of

2057
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:23,175
us with our insomnia,

2058
01:11:24,994 --> 01:11:26,835
we do it in shifts. We do. We're

2059
01:11:26,835 --> 01:11:29,155
never awake at the same time. Nope. Nope.

2060
01:11:29,155 --> 01:11:29,895
We are not.

2061
01:11:30,755 --> 01:11:32,215
We are not. We do

2062
01:11:32,914 --> 01:11:35,655
carry on the proud tradition of couples everywhere.

2063
01:11:36,275 --> 01:11:38,819
Maybe not everywhere, but many of us.

2064
01:11:39,359 --> 01:11:40,260
We do the,

2065
01:11:41,439 --> 01:11:43,760
complain about our sleep Olympics, who will be

2066
01:11:44,079 --> 01:11:45,779
who had the worst night. Yeah.

2067
01:11:47,199 --> 01:11:49,119
I I did think I got to win

2068
01:11:49,119 --> 01:11:50,354
for last night.

2069
01:11:50,655 --> 01:11:51,715
I did. Hands

2070
01:11:52,175 --> 01:11:54,255
down. I mean But there are nights JB

2071
01:11:54,255 --> 01:11:55,935
wins. He's had the worst night of sleep,

2072
01:11:55,935 --> 01:11:58,034
and I'm just like, oh, I'm so sorry.

2073
01:11:58,175 --> 01:12:00,015
Here's the thing. I don't add in the,

2074
01:12:00,015 --> 01:12:01,454
oh, my hands went numb and I had

2075
01:12:01,454 --> 01:12:03,695
to rotisserie chicken my my way through the

2076
01:12:03,695 --> 01:12:05,600
night because that's an every night thing now.

2077
01:12:05,600 --> 01:12:07,119
Like, that's just part of it. So that

2078
01:12:07,119 --> 01:12:08,260
doesn't get to count.

2079
01:12:09,119 --> 01:12:11,439
But I do get to complain when the

2080
01:12:11,439 --> 01:12:12,739
numbness, the tingling

2081
01:12:13,119 --> 01:12:13,780
is like

2082
01:12:14,319 --> 01:12:16,479
streaks of fire going down every finger and

2083
01:12:16,479 --> 01:12:18,239
I have to sit up and be fully

2084
01:12:18,239 --> 01:12:20,510
awake for thirty minutes before it subsides before

2085
01:12:20,510 --> 01:12:22,682
I can lay back down, I do win

2086
01:12:22,682 --> 01:12:24,855
on those nights. But if JB is like,

2087
01:12:24,855 --> 01:12:27,029
well, I fell asleep until one, tossed and

2088
01:12:27,029 --> 01:12:29,202
turned until three, and then just finally got

2089
01:12:29,202 --> 01:12:31,375
the fuck up and went to the couch,

2090
01:12:31,375 --> 01:12:33,069
I'm like, you get to win tonight. I

2091
01:12:33,069 --> 01:12:35,250
don't care what I went through. You win.

2092
01:12:35,390 --> 01:12:37,949
Because of so far, knock on wood, of

2093
01:12:37,949 --> 01:12:40,449
all the things I'm not gonna fucking do,

2094
01:12:40,590 --> 01:12:42,449
get my ass out of fucking bed.

2095
01:12:42,909 --> 01:12:45,310
That to me is conceding. Yeah. And I

2096
01:12:45,310 --> 01:12:48,164
will win this battle against my own brain

2097
01:12:48,164 --> 01:12:49,925
and my bed. See, I don't. I give

2098
01:12:49,925 --> 01:12:51,524
up and I get up and I I

2099
01:12:51,604 --> 01:12:52,984
And yet you, you know, you,

2100
01:12:55,045 --> 01:12:56,645
you tend to, not always, but you tend

2101
01:12:56,645 --> 01:12:58,564
to at least, like, doze and for a

2102
01:12:58,564 --> 01:13:00,470
nap on the couch, and I don't I

2103
01:13:00,470 --> 01:13:02,630
just don't do that. Do that. Yeah. It

2104
01:13:02,630 --> 01:13:05,270
gets uncomfortable in some ways. So Yeah. But

2105
01:13:05,270 --> 01:13:07,270
I'm also, like, I will not be driven

2106
01:13:07,270 --> 01:13:09,369
out of this fucking bed by my own

2107
01:13:09,750 --> 01:13:11,930
body. It is not fucking happening.

2108
01:13:12,390 --> 01:13:14,149
Yeah. It's probably not helpful, but, you know

2109
01:13:14,310 --> 01:13:15,255
Mhmm. Whatever.

2110
01:13:16,454 --> 01:13:18,715
And, you know, in other things, I,

2111
01:13:21,014 --> 01:13:22,774
starting to get more comfortable with the K

2112
01:13:22,774 --> 01:13:24,154
and M. Mhmm.

2113
01:13:25,094 --> 01:13:26,154
Taking longer,

2114
01:13:27,175 --> 01:13:27,675
further.

2115
01:13:29,260 --> 01:13:31,840
Faster, stronger? Yes. That's a different thing.

2116
01:13:34,300 --> 01:13:34,800
And,

2117
01:13:35,420 --> 01:13:38,060
yeah. Now now I'm working on figuring out

2118
01:13:38,060 --> 01:13:38,800
how to,

2119
01:13:40,060 --> 01:13:41,260
work with the GoPro

2120
01:13:41,895 --> 01:13:42,395
Mhmm.

2121
01:13:43,414 --> 01:13:43,914
Media

2122
01:13:44,215 --> 01:13:45,034
and software.

2123
01:13:45,494 --> 01:13:46,074
And that's,

2124
01:13:46,454 --> 01:13:48,234
that's been a bit of a

2125
01:13:49,175 --> 01:13:51,494
challenge, but I'm slowly getting there. And I've

2126
01:13:51,494 --> 01:13:53,974
I've posted a couple of the clips I've

2127
01:13:53,974 --> 01:13:56,234
made Mhmm. On, Instagram.

2128
01:13:56,854 --> 01:13:58,380
Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. So,

2129
01:13:59,000 --> 01:14:00,940
yeah, it's it's pretty cool and

2130
01:14:01,480 --> 01:14:03,640
I'm enjoying it. And, you know, the the

2131
01:14:03,640 --> 01:14:05,640
last time I went out was out through

2132
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:07,180
the Ocala National Forest.

2133
01:14:07,480 --> 01:14:08,520
Mhmm. And,

2134
01:14:09,159 --> 01:14:10,220
beautiful drive.

2135
01:14:10,675 --> 01:14:12,835
Apparently, I was fairly close to where the

2136
01:14:12,835 --> 01:14:13,335
wildfires

2137
01:14:14,515 --> 01:14:16,194
are burning. And that's how I know I'm

2138
01:14:16,194 --> 01:14:17,954
not keeping up with local news, because until

2139
01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:19,395
you said something, I didn't know we had

2140
01:14:19,395 --> 01:14:21,494
any wildfires happening. Yep.

2141
01:14:22,520 --> 01:14:24,119
One morning I woke up, I guess the

2142
01:14:24,119 --> 01:14:26,600
wind was blowing. It looked very hazy. There

2143
01:14:26,600 --> 01:14:27,260
was smoke

2144
01:14:27,960 --> 01:14:28,699
in the air.

2145
01:14:29,079 --> 01:14:29,319
And,

2146
01:14:29,960 --> 01:14:33,020
outside that day, I was outside and,

2147
01:14:33,719 --> 01:14:35,399
I'm watching this thing on the on the

2148
01:14:35,399 --> 01:14:37,239
breeze and it's just like kinda drifting like

2149
01:14:37,239 --> 01:14:38,975
a leaf, you know, it would be falling

2150
01:14:38,975 --> 01:14:41,234
falling falling, but it didn't look right

2151
01:14:42,095 --> 01:14:44,414
and it it as it was coming down

2152
01:14:44,414 --> 01:14:46,814
it got it it got hung up on

2153
01:14:46,814 --> 01:14:47,475
the windowsill.

2154
01:14:48,175 --> 01:14:49,694
It was it was ash, it was a

2155
01:14:49,694 --> 01:14:52,274
piece of ash. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Wow.

2156
01:14:52,414 --> 01:14:55,949
Yep. It's wild. But, yeah. After seeing where

2157
01:14:55,949 --> 01:14:56,270
the,

2158
01:14:57,149 --> 01:14:59,250
the fire we're not in any danger where

2159
01:14:59,470 --> 01:15:01,470
but in relation where they are to us

2160
01:15:01,470 --> 01:15:03,390
and how we've seen some of the smoke.

2161
01:15:03,390 --> 01:15:05,229
Yeah. Maybe I should pay more attention to

2162
01:15:05,229 --> 01:15:06,130
local news.

2163
01:15:09,045 --> 01:15:11,685
Whoops. Okay. You know, no. It it's been

2164
01:15:11,685 --> 01:15:13,845
cool and, you know, oddly enough, it it's

2165
01:15:13,845 --> 01:15:14,664
really funny

2166
01:15:15,284 --> 01:15:17,204
when I go down the road to that

2167
01:15:17,204 --> 01:15:18,965
I take to get out to the roads

2168
01:15:18,965 --> 01:15:21,545
on the Ocala National Forest, you know, they're

2169
01:15:22,005 --> 01:15:22,500
populated

2170
01:15:23,060 --> 01:15:24,199
to a certain point.

2171
01:15:24,579 --> 01:15:27,319
And once you get past the point

2172
01:15:28,020 --> 01:15:30,579
of where there's the housing developments, and you're

2173
01:15:30,579 --> 01:15:32,340
into where the forest, and you've got nothing

2174
01:15:32,340 --> 01:15:34,979
but woods and swamp and everything, the temperature

2175
01:15:34,979 --> 01:15:36,899
drop. There is at least a five degree

2176
01:15:36,899 --> 01:15:39,664
temperature drop difference. I believe that. We feel

2177
01:15:39,664 --> 01:15:40,144
that,

2178
01:15:40,465 --> 01:15:41,904
depending on which side of town we're on.

2179
01:15:41,904 --> 01:15:42,804
The side of town

2180
01:15:43,505 --> 01:15:45,264
and where we live has become much more

2181
01:15:45,264 --> 01:15:47,104
sprawling. But the side of town we're on

2182
01:15:47,104 --> 01:15:49,344
is older. There's lots of trees. There's lots

2183
01:15:49,344 --> 01:15:50,625
of green space. Yeah.

2184
01:15:51,184 --> 01:15:53,104
Yeah. These these houses here where we are,

2185
01:15:53,104 --> 01:15:54,164
they actually have

2186
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:57,960
land between them. Right. Yeah. You you do

2187
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:00,199
not you cannot touch your neighbor by sticking

2188
01:16:00,199 --> 01:16:03,159
your arm out your window. But down in

2189
01:16:03,399 --> 01:16:04,600
I don't know. Is it south? Is it

2190
01:16:04,760 --> 01:16:06,119
I don't fucking know what side of town

2191
01:16:06,119 --> 01:16:07,479
it is, but there's a side of town

2192
01:16:07,479 --> 01:16:08,204
that's being developed

2193
01:16:08,765 --> 01:16:11,965
heavily and quickly. Yeah. And, yeah, I I

2194
01:16:11,965 --> 01:16:14,784
watch the temperature gauge thing on the car

2195
01:16:14,925 --> 01:16:17,725
go up and get there because there's not

2196
01:16:17,725 --> 01:16:19,244
a lot of trees and not a lot

2197
01:16:19,244 --> 01:16:20,845
of green space. And then you get back

2198
01:16:20,845 --> 01:16:21,600
here and you actually

2199
01:16:23,199 --> 01:16:24,479
the temperature drop. And then you go out

2200
01:16:24,479 --> 01:16:26,800
that direction, it drops even more again. So

2201
01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:28,239
clearly, what I need to do is go

2202
01:16:28,239 --> 01:16:30,800
whatever direction that is and get a slightly

2203
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:31,539
cooler temperature.

2204
01:16:34,159 --> 01:16:35,220
So Anyhoo.

2205
01:16:35,680 --> 01:16:37,974
Yeah. We should probably let these good folks

2206
01:16:37,974 --> 01:16:39,654
go. But we're not gonna get to talk

2207
01:16:39,654 --> 01:16:42,234
to them next week on on Wednesday. So,

2208
01:16:42,295 --> 01:16:44,154
like, I wanna drag it out.

2209
01:16:45,574 --> 01:16:47,835
I don't have anything to talk about. Well,

2210
01:16:47,894 --> 01:16:48,954
no. No.

2211
01:16:50,159 --> 01:16:52,720
No. I mean, did I complain about my

2212
01:16:52,720 --> 01:16:54,720
health and my body? Okay. Done. Did I

2213
01:16:54,720 --> 01:16:56,500
complain about my sleep check?

2214
01:16:56,880 --> 01:16:57,380
Okay.

2215
01:16:59,119 --> 01:17:01,039
I'm always a proud mom, but there's nothing

2216
01:17:01,039 --> 01:17:01,860
new to report.

2217
01:17:02,960 --> 01:17:04,994
My mom will be here. My mom is

2218
01:17:04,994 --> 01:17:07,395
so oh, that was funny. So my mom's

2219
01:17:07,395 --> 01:17:07,895
coming,

2220
01:17:08,994 --> 01:17:11,015
Thursday, the day after we record this,

2221
01:17:11,875 --> 01:17:14,435
episode, and she's here for Mother's Day weekend

2222
01:17:14,435 --> 01:17:16,274
and blah blah blah. And so she asks

2223
01:17:16,274 --> 01:17:18,274
me, you know, what do you wanna do?

2224
01:17:18,274 --> 01:17:19,949
And I'm like, I don't know. From my

2225
01:17:19,949 --> 01:17:21,329
perspective, it's her day.

2226
01:17:21,949 --> 01:17:24,909
You know? You're asking your child what I

2227
01:17:24,909 --> 01:17:26,430
want to do for Mother's Day. It's your

2228
01:17:26,430 --> 01:17:28,029
day. I know I'm a mother, but you

2229
01:17:28,029 --> 01:17:29,010
know, in that conversation.

2230
01:17:29,310 --> 01:17:30,670
But she's like me. She's like, we're not

2231
01:17:30,670 --> 01:17:32,109
going out to eat that day because I'm

2232
01:17:32,109 --> 01:17:34,215
like, I know everybody takes their mama out

2233
01:17:34,215 --> 01:17:35,814
on Mother's Day. I'm not I'm not being

2234
01:17:35,814 --> 01:17:37,975
on those crabs. So we're both kind of

2235
01:17:37,975 --> 01:17:39,015
at a loss. We're like, oh, we'll just

2236
01:17:39,015 --> 01:17:39,835
hang out, whatever.

2237
01:17:40,375 --> 01:17:42,055
Then JP does the really sweet thing and

2238
01:17:42,055 --> 01:17:43,414
he goes, what do you want to do

2239
01:17:43,414 --> 01:17:45,435
for Mother's Day? I'm like, I will be

2240
01:17:45,895 --> 01:17:46,395
hosting

2241
01:17:47,095 --> 01:17:48,774
Mother's Day. So I don't I can't answer

2242
01:17:48,774 --> 01:17:50,460
that question. And I was like, can we

2243
01:17:50,619 --> 01:17:51,980
can I have a rain check? Because here's

2244
01:17:51,980 --> 01:17:53,340
what I want. I want to do not

2245
01:17:53,340 --> 01:17:55,260
a fucking thing. Yeah. And not, as I

2246
01:17:55,260 --> 01:17:56,940
pointed out to JB, have to do it

2247
01:17:56,940 --> 01:17:59,180
all on Saturday or make up for it

2248
01:17:59,180 --> 01:18:00,860
later in the week because I didn't do

2249
01:18:00,860 --> 01:18:02,619
it. Right. I want it to not be

2250
01:18:02,619 --> 01:18:04,460
my responsibility, whatever it is I do on

2251
01:18:04,460 --> 01:18:04,960
Sundays

2252
01:18:05,345 --> 01:18:07,265
on Sunday. And I was like, that won't

2253
01:18:07,265 --> 01:18:09,345
even be an option this week weekend. So

2254
01:18:09,345 --> 01:18:10,704
I was like, can I get a rain

2255
01:18:10,704 --> 01:18:12,305
check and we'll we'll do this again? I'm

2256
01:18:12,305 --> 01:18:13,905
like, I don't I don't know what I

2257
01:18:14,064 --> 01:18:15,905
like, do I want gifts? Fuck off. I

2258
01:18:15,905 --> 01:18:17,770
know. Do I want a special meal? He

2259
01:18:17,770 --> 01:18:19,369
asked me after I'd eaten and I wasn't

2260
01:18:19,369 --> 01:18:20,889
hungry. So I was like, I can't answer

2261
01:18:20,889 --> 01:18:21,389
that.

2262
01:18:21,689 --> 01:18:23,689
Sitting here now, I ate a decent lunch.

2263
01:18:23,689 --> 01:18:25,449
I'm not hungry. I and I'm too fucking

2264
01:18:25,449 --> 01:18:26,889
hot. I couldn't tell you if I want

2265
01:18:26,889 --> 01:18:27,869
a special meal.

2266
01:18:28,649 --> 01:18:29,895
I'm like, I just I want want to

2267
01:18:29,895 --> 01:18:32,635
not be responsible for a fucking thing for

2268
01:18:32,854 --> 01:18:34,074
one fucking day.

2269
01:18:34,694 --> 01:18:35,994
That's what I want.

2270
01:18:36,774 --> 01:18:38,854
So my mom is getting that because she

2271
01:18:38,854 --> 01:18:41,974
left her house and drove, like k. Eight

2272
01:18:41,974 --> 01:18:42,474
hours,

2273
01:18:42,774 --> 01:18:44,210
you know, east.

2274
01:18:45,150 --> 01:18:46,530
So she's getting that wish.

2275
01:18:47,949 --> 01:18:50,270
But yeah. It's like, don't it's it's sort

2276
01:18:50,270 --> 01:18:51,310
of like asking me what I want for

2277
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:53,010
my birthday. Fuck if I know.

2278
01:18:54,989 --> 01:18:56,534
I don't know. So

2279
01:18:58,434 --> 01:18:58,934
but

2280
01:19:04,434 --> 01:19:06,675
Alright. We should probably go. I know. Because

2281
01:19:06,675 --> 01:19:07,954
we have other things to do, but I

2282
01:19:07,954 --> 01:19:09,474
I think we've been here. I know you

2283
01:19:09,474 --> 01:19:09,974
do.

2284
01:19:10,670 --> 01:19:12,210
I I mean, it's, you know,

2285
01:19:12,670 --> 01:19:14,189
it's a handful of folks, but I like

2286
01:19:14,189 --> 01:19:15,869
hanging out with a handful of folks. Actually,

2287
01:19:15,869 --> 01:19:17,390
I would be very intimidated if we had,

2288
01:19:17,390 --> 01:19:18,829
like, lots of people watching. I'd be like,

2289
01:19:18,829 --> 01:19:21,229
nope. That's too many people perceiving me. I

2290
01:19:21,229 --> 01:19:21,949
will take out

2291
01:19:22,829 --> 01:19:23,970
it's small but mighty,

2292
01:19:24,670 --> 01:19:25,170
comfy,

2293
01:19:25,710 --> 01:19:26,824
let's chit chat.

2294
01:19:27,685 --> 01:19:29,145
I don't know about what.

2295
01:19:30,565 --> 01:19:32,244
I got nothing other than to tell you

2296
01:19:32,244 --> 01:19:34,405
how fucking hot I am. Y'all know. Right.

2297
01:19:34,405 --> 01:19:35,685
Y'all know you would like me to stop

2298
01:19:35,685 --> 01:19:37,784
bitching about it so much. I know.

2299
01:19:38,324 --> 01:19:39,225
I would do.

2300
01:19:40,640 --> 01:19:41,140
Dude.

2301
01:19:42,399 --> 01:19:43,380
The only vindication

2302
01:19:43,680 --> 01:19:45,859
I get about that is that you know

2303
01:19:46,079 --> 01:19:47,140
and you have experienced

2304
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:50,800
touching me when I'm really super hot. No.

2305
01:19:50,800 --> 01:19:52,239
I you know, when when you tell me

2306
01:19:52,239 --> 01:19:54,045
you're you're having a hot flash and you're

2307
01:19:54,284 --> 01:19:55,844
I I know because I have

2308
01:19:56,284 --> 01:19:58,284
yeah. I've been there. Sitting at the doctor's

2309
01:19:58,284 --> 01:19:58,784
office

2310
01:19:59,164 --> 01:20:01,404
having a hot flash. I was just she'd

2311
01:20:01,404 --> 01:20:03,885
handed me my mammogram results, and I was

2312
01:20:03,885 --> 01:20:05,404
like, let me just use that as a

2313
01:20:05,404 --> 01:20:08,320
fan. And there's, like, sweats dripping down the

2314
01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:09,425
top. Oh my god.

2315
01:20:10,100 --> 01:20:12,359
Okay. We're good. We're good. But

2316
01:20:12,659 --> 01:20:14,279
and now I could be here with everybody

2317
01:20:15,380 --> 01:20:16,979
for a long time. I don't have anything

2318
01:20:16,979 --> 01:20:18,420
to talk about. I guess I'd just stare

2319
01:20:18,420 --> 01:20:20,340
into the camera, and y'all could stare back

2320
01:20:20,340 --> 01:20:21,159
at me, but

2321
01:20:22,340 --> 01:20:23,864
I don't know if that's good a good

2322
01:20:24,025 --> 01:20:25,324
form of entertainment.

2323
01:20:26,905 --> 01:20:28,824
I think I have questions for you. Some

2324
01:20:28,824 --> 01:20:31,704
form of ASMR maybe? Oh, god. I you

2325
01:20:31,704 --> 01:20:33,625
know, I know there are people who really

2326
01:20:33,625 --> 01:20:35,145
like it. There's some people who do it

2327
01:20:35,145 --> 01:20:37,225
really well. I tried. I was like, oh,

2328
01:20:37,225 --> 01:20:39,029
will this, like, quiet my

2329
01:20:39,429 --> 01:20:41,989
loud brain? No. It it set me on

2330
01:20:41,989 --> 01:20:44,229
edge and made me irrationally angry. And I

2331
01:20:44,229 --> 01:20:46,389
went, okay. I am not a good I'm

2332
01:20:46,389 --> 01:20:48,489
not that's not made for me. Okay.

2333
01:20:51,189 --> 01:20:52,889
Nope. That one's not for me.

2334
01:20:54,454 --> 01:20:57,014
Yep. So, anyway, I guess we have to

2335
01:20:57,014 --> 01:20:58,295
go because we still have other things to

2336
01:20:58,295 --> 01:21:00,454
do. That's true. We do. But I'm also

2337
01:21:00,454 --> 01:21:01,814
standing in my own way of going to

2338
01:21:01,814 --> 01:21:03,974
get a Diet Coke. That's true. Because I

2339
01:21:03,974 --> 01:21:05,354
have to go pick up some prescriptions.

2340
01:21:06,760 --> 01:21:08,920
So see? There's there's a lot on the

2341
01:21:08,920 --> 01:21:10,760
line here. But I just wanna I just

2342
01:21:10,760 --> 01:21:12,779
wanna hang out and be with people

2343
01:21:13,079 --> 01:21:14,520
in the way that y'all aren't in the

2344
01:21:14,520 --> 01:21:16,279
same room with me, and I don't have

2345
01:21:16,279 --> 01:21:18,439
to make eye contact with you. You know,

2346
01:21:18,439 --> 01:21:20,944
like that. Be with people like that. That

2347
01:21:20,944 --> 01:21:21,844
that doesn't

2348
01:21:22,304 --> 01:21:22,804
sound

2349
01:21:23,104 --> 01:21:25,444
probably unhealthy at all, does it?

2350
01:21:26,144 --> 01:21:26,644
Okay.

2351
01:21:27,264 --> 01:21:28,625
JB is now annoyed with me, so I

2352
01:21:28,625 --> 01:21:30,385
guess I have to tell you that we're

2353
01:21:30,385 --> 01:21:32,784
gonna go. Thanks for being here, especially to

2354
01:21:32,784 --> 01:21:33,764
the bitter end.

2355
01:21:34,064 --> 01:21:35,460
We will not see you next Wednesday or

2356
01:21:37,219 --> 01:21:39,939
podcast episode next Friday, but we will stream

2357
01:21:39,939 --> 01:21:42,439
May 16, Friday night, '9 '30 PM Eastern.

2358
01:21:42,819 --> 01:21:44,279
Hope to see you there. Mhmm.

2359
01:21:44,579 --> 01:21:46,520
Okay. Fine. K. Okay. Alright.

2360
01:21:47,380 --> 01:21:48,667
Bye. Bye. I have to

2361
01:21:50,908 --> 01:21:51,408
go

2362
01:21:52,507 --> 01:21:54,988
now. Wow. That's, some baby girl right there.

2363
01:21:54,988 --> 01:21:56,927
Powerful baby girl. Mhmm.

2364
01:21:57,228 --> 01:21:57,887
I know.