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You're listening to the Living BDSM podcast episode

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four thirty eight. Kayla Lords here with the

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one, the only, the why are you looking

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at me like that? I love you. Did

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I do something wrong? John Brownstone.

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You're giving me it's a very intense look.

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Mhmm. And I can't read the emotion. I

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Good. Can't always. Yeah. But

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Yeah. I didn't know what that meant. Were

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you having a moment and I just got

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caught up in it? It meant nothing. You

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made more out of it than it was.

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I mean, it felt like it was something.

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It was a very intense look. Yeah. It

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was. Yeah. Yeah. Way too much eye contact.

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Anyway, so we're talking.

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This week, we're continuing our series about making

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power exchange work in the real world

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by talking about how to actually do power

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exchange that in the real world that nobody

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else is gonna notice.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and

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Friday for your kinky pleasure in education. The

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show notes are found at lovingBDSM.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC,

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on Instagram and, technically, threads at that handle

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I will forever fucking hate.

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That's loving d s and the number one,

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so at loving d s one. On blue

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sky at lovingBDSM.

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Blah blah blah or

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on YouTube

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at youtube.com/lovingBDSM,

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or you can watch us live stream the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes. I'm gonna go to Blue Sky

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now and look for loving BDSM,

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that bloody blah blah blah blah. Dot blah

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blah blah blah. Right. Okay.

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Really, if you just type in Lummig BDSM.

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Tada.

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Okay. Before we get into

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the topic, two things real quick. One, if

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you hear a

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we know that's our fan.

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If you hear crackles in the microphones,

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we know we can't figure out what it

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is. Right. I mean, we I I have

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tried so hard to trace that down. I

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mean, these are supposed to be high quality

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enough that we should not need to replace

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them and that is my fear.

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That something has happened and we so yes,

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we know. Two,

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I haven't mentioned it a lot lately and

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I think I should.

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If you would like to, like, get more

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of whatever the hell we are,

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and support the work we do and get

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access to a pretty chill kinky community,

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you can join us through Patreon, patreon.com/kaylalords.

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Link is in the places.

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You can join for as little as $2

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a month. When you join for as little

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as $2 a month, you get access to

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our Discord server.

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You,

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get access to our behind the scenes podcast

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episode every month. This year, that

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episode focuses on

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our reconnection

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in Power Exchange. Mhmm.

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So it's like a bonus section, but it's,

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like, really focused on the power exchange.

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We do every other month, we swap between

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a game night, which is Cards Against Humanity,

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or a movie night, which

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is not technically

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legal, but I'm a keep doing it till

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they tell me I gotta stop.

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And this month,

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April April '20 seventh, is that how dates

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work, is movie night. We still haven't picked

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the movie yet because I'm waiting for something

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to arrive because I have a stack and

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it's a whole thing. Anyway,

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minimum, $2 a month. If you'd like to

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join us to help support this,

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once we complain to you in the photo

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section about what's going on, you'll know why

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I'm like, hey. You wanna come be on

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our Patreon?

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But we do hope we, give as much

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value as we receive that. That's the plan

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and hope.

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Okay.

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Let's get into

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this episode,

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and we are continuing

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the series because it's making coming up with

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topics way easier if I have a plan.

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It's just working out, and I like it

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that way.

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We have talked about some of what we're

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gonna talk about in this week's episode in

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the past,

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partially in

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many episodes where somebody is asking how do

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you do this in front of and then

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pick a situation where you're not alone with

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your partner. Right? Mhmm. But specifically, we did

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an episode in 2019

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about subtle power exchange, and then we did

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an episode in 2020 about our personal views

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on public kink,

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based on

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a image that was floating around the Internet

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of somebody walking their human dog into a

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grocery store on a leash. It was a

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whole thing.

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That felt like when I saw it, when

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I went and, like, checked our history, I

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was like, oh, god. Yeah. Why does that

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feel like a lifetime ago? It was 2020,

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y'all. That's why it feels like a lifetime

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ago.

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So some of this is not all new

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for anybody who's been around for even five

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minutes.

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But it I want this episode to kind

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of package it all up. So the person

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who's, you know, DMs me and goes, how

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do I do this around my family? I'll

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just can send you the link here. Here.

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We we've talked about it. Here's a whole

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hour. Are we wrapping it? Are we wrapping

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it up neatly with a bow and all

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that? No. No. We're not doing that. We're

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not doing that. Usual chaos.

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And,

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when I was looking through our archive, our

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most recent episode

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this year where we're talking about reconnecting in

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our power exchange where we did some experimentation

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with public rules

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is on this as well is this topic

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as well because

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our entire

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almost our entire power exchange is something that

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you don't know unless you know what we're

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doing. Like we

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stay within our power exchange when we're visiting

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family,

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when we're in front of our children,

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when we are out in public just doing

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whatever.

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It's actually

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more strange to do the secret behind the

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closed doors,

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uber kinky stuff.

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Because we're tired. Okay? Who's got time for

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that? Anyway, so

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this is not

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so this won't all be new information, but

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it's all kinda together, and we'll talk about

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it with a slightly different angle. So there

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we go.

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It is something we've done. I when I

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originally put our notes together, I was gonna

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say it was something we had originally we

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did when we moved in together. And then

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I realized, oh, hell no. We've been doing

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unclockable.

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Nobody else else but us knows power exchange

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even long distance. Yeah. And so I was

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like, yes. This works, I think, any relationship

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style, and probably any kind of power dynamic.

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And what I mean by that is, yes.

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I'm a service sub, so it's very easy

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to serve, air quote that word. If you're

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like, please tell me what to do for

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you, you know,

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to my dog. Right?

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I think it can work even if you're

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not that kind of specific and you just

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kinda wanna be told what to do or

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you wanna ask permission or you want somebody

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to control things. Right? So,

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yeah, we're we've got examples going back to

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long distance.

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We got examples of, oh, you mean I

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gotta pay the bills and raise a kid

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and and go to the doctor and have

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a power exchange. Okay.

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So that's

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that's,

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where we're starting. That's kind of our premise.

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My notes. I'm using my notes. I'm trying

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to be better about that, y'all. Okay. So

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the first thing I have is the subtle

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and I keep calling it unclockable.

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You're not gonna clock it if you see

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it unless you know. If you know, you

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know. Right?

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Mhmm. Subtle unclockable power exchange.

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What are some things that come to your

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mind that we do or could be done?

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There there's a number of things that come

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to my mind.

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First and foremost, our the coffee service.

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Yeah. It just looks like I'm making you

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a cup of coffee. Yeah. Mhmm. Yep.

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Things like giving me my sunglasses when we

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get in the car. I think the kids

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are starting to notice that, but the kids

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are much more aware.

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They they don't

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ain't air quote normal.

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Yeah.

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Yeah. Or, like, I can't, let myself out

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of the car. You have to come open

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the door for me. Yeah.

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We are able to do things, not maybe

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the the sunglasses thing. I just look helpful

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in that in that situation.

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We're able to do things that look very

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heteronormative

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because that's what we look like from the

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outside. And as the submissive

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in my southern upbringing, nobody blinks if I'm

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getting JB a plate of food or if

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I'm serving him before I serve myself or

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whatever whatever,

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or if I'm deferring to him. I don't

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my mother would clock me deferring to to

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JP,

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and she would take me to the side,

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and I'd get a lecture.

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But the rest of the general population, especially

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now that I don't dye my hair and

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you can really tell my age,

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our age, nobody is thinking much of it

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anymore. It's like, oh, yeah. That's just how

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that's how old southern ladies are. Right?

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But it means we can get away with

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a whole hell of a lot. If you

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do not have that heteronormative

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appearing thing going, what you end up looking

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like is either very considerate,

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very polite, or depending on either side of

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the slash, just like a really good supportive

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partner.

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So will there be some people who tells

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a man men aren't supposed to do this

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and then you get all nauseous and you

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wanna roll your eyes or whatever. Sure. Sure.

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But for the most part,

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you know, you can just go, but I'm

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just helping my partner out. And most people

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are just gonna think you're a really nice

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human for doing a thing for your partner.

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Yeah. You know, it what's funny, I just

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wanna throw this in real quick. I'm talking

270
00:09:36,975 --> 00:09:38,115
about the car doors.

271
00:09:38,735 --> 00:09:40,654
I I had been doing that, you know,

272
00:09:40,654 --> 00:09:43,475
since we we met Mhmm. Initially.

273
00:09:44,014 --> 00:09:45,855
And and the funny thing is is that,

274
00:09:45,855 --> 00:09:48,434
you know, since the boys were young,

275
00:09:49,019 --> 00:09:51,420
they witnessed me doing this like you talk.

276
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:51,920
Mhmm.

277
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:53,019
And,

278
00:09:54,620 --> 00:09:56,860
what's funny is the youngest has picked up

279
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:58,300
on it and, you know, when we if

280
00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,440
he's with us somewhere,

281
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:02,105
he when we get to where we're going,

282
00:10:02,165 --> 00:10:03,845
he will get out and open the door

283
00:10:03,845 --> 00:10:06,004
for you. And, you know, the kid will

284
00:10:06,004 --> 00:10:07,605
do it. They will do it, and I

285
00:10:07,605 --> 00:10:09,625
appreciate it. But at this age,

286
00:10:10,085 --> 00:10:10,585
15,

287
00:10:10,965 --> 00:10:13,764
all the teenage attitude will do it, never

288
00:10:13,764 --> 00:10:15,764
complains, never says, I'm not opening the door

289
00:10:15,764 --> 00:10:18,450
for you, mom. But will absolutely do the

290
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:20,370
teenage eye roll and yet still do it.

291
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,690
And I'm like, I'm not complaining. I just

292
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:25,190
say thank you. We move we move on.

293
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:27,570
And, you know, there's that's kind of been

294
00:10:27,649 --> 00:10:30,105
for anybody who is raising little humans to

295
00:10:30,105 --> 00:10:32,024
not be assholes, that's my whole goal has

296
00:10:32,024 --> 00:10:34,745
always been to raise small humans to become

297
00:10:34,745 --> 00:10:37,325
not assholes. And since they are,

298
00:10:38,424 --> 00:10:39,164
at least,

299
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,725
assigned male at birth minimum,

300
00:10:42,904 --> 00:10:43,404
to,

301
00:10:43,865 --> 00:10:44,365
not

302
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,970
keep repeating some of the bullshit from all

303
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:48,809
the generations. Alright? We don't do boys will

304
00:10:48,809 --> 00:10:50,269
be boys in this fucking house.

305
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:51,149
But

306
00:10:52,009 --> 00:10:54,190
where was I going with that goddamn? Oh,

307
00:10:55,610 --> 00:10:57,450
so for I couldn't help you there. No.

308
00:10:57,450 --> 00:10:58,730
You could not. It it is a thing

309
00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:00,125
because this thing we talked about. If you

310
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:00,865
are raising

311
00:11:01,325 --> 00:11:03,804
small humans and you are the, oh my

312
00:11:03,804 --> 00:11:05,565
god, they're gonna notice and they're gonna ask

313
00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:06,705
uncomfortable questions.

314
00:11:07,085 --> 00:11:09,725
Maybe it does depend on how observant your

315
00:11:09,725 --> 00:11:12,860
child is, how curious they are, and if

316
00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:13,360
they

317
00:11:14,059 --> 00:11:15,759
have a filter or not. Yes.

318
00:11:16,059 --> 00:11:16,559
But

319
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:20,220
when our kids started asking questions, and it

320
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:22,559
was the oldest because that's how he is.

321
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,485
And it was because he had enough memory

322
00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,825
of me never doing this for anybody else

323
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,445
ever. And these were small things, making a

324
00:11:31,445 --> 00:11:33,924
cup of coffee, doing that, like, really small

325
00:11:33,924 --> 00:11:35,304
things that don't look kinky.

326
00:11:35,764 --> 00:11:37,605
The question I got was, why are you

327
00:11:37,605 --> 00:11:39,360
doing this? Why do you do that? What

328
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,120
and they know him as Mr. John. Why

329
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,039
do you do this for Mr. John? And

330
00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:45,360
my answer was very simple because it makes

331
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,759
him happy, because I want to, because I

332
00:11:47,759 --> 00:11:49,200
like taking care of him. Like I could

333
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,120
come up with all these reasons that were

334
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,660
in no way kinky. So

335
00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:55,735
yes, if you have people, small humans or

336
00:11:55,735 --> 00:11:57,735
not, living around you who might start going,

337
00:11:57,735 --> 00:11:59,495
why are you doing that? Because you've never

338
00:11:59,495 --> 00:12:00,875
done that before. Right?

339
00:12:01,414 --> 00:12:03,174
You can just say it's a it's about

340
00:12:03,174 --> 00:12:04,875
love. It's about care. It's,

341
00:12:05,335 --> 00:12:05,995
you know,

342
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,029
just trying to be nice, whatever. If you

343
00:12:08,029 --> 00:12:09,470
even choose to answer it, but that's how

344
00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:11,870
we did. So when I say they're subtle

345
00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:13,970
and and unclockable, I don't mean

346
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:16,269
the people who are around you all the

347
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,210
time might not notice if there's a behavior

348
00:12:18,764 --> 00:12:21,004
shift. What I mean is nothing looks kinky

349
00:12:21,004 --> 00:12:21,824
from the outside.

350
00:12:22,204 --> 00:12:23,824
And there are things that

351
00:12:24,365 --> 00:12:26,125
don't have to mean anything to even another

352
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,044
kinky person. They only have to have meaning

353
00:12:28,044 --> 00:12:30,464
to you and your partner. That that's it.

354
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:33,404
The other sort of subtle, unclockable one is

355
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:33,904
one

356
00:12:34,279 --> 00:12:36,360
every kinkster can do, and guess what? Most

357
00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:37,960
of y'all do it, and you just aren't

358
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,980
thinking of it that way. And that is

359
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,080
sending the text or sending the DM, dom

360
00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:43,820
to sub,

361
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,695
saying go do this thing. Sub to dom.

362
00:12:46,695 --> 00:12:48,774
Hey. Can I do this thing? Can I

363
00:12:48,774 --> 00:12:49,274
have

364
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:51,894
it's as subtle as it gets unless you

365
00:12:51,894 --> 00:12:54,055
were worried somebody's reading you messages? And then,

366
00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,254
I mean, maybe we need to have a

367
00:12:55,254 --> 00:12:57,675
talk about, like, phone security and, you know,

368
00:12:58,215 --> 00:13:00,855
deleting your history or whatever password security. I

369
00:13:00,855 --> 00:13:02,889
don't know. But in general, if you are

370
00:13:02,889 --> 00:13:04,250
the only one that has access to a

371
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,090
device that you can use to communicate with

372
00:13:06,090 --> 00:13:06,750
a partner,

373
00:13:07,690 --> 00:13:09,550
you can do almost anything if

374
00:13:09,930 --> 00:13:11,769
if it's like you get the message and

375
00:13:11,769 --> 00:13:13,450
you go behind closed doors to do something

376
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:15,404
or or whoo, you go into the bathroom.

377
00:13:16,605 --> 00:13:18,845
Now people raising small humans, the bathroom is

378
00:13:18,845 --> 00:13:20,705
not sacrosanct for several years

379
00:13:21,245 --> 00:13:22,785
for many of us. So,

380
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,004
but yeah. I mean, long distance, that's how

381
00:13:27,004 --> 00:13:29,185
we did all kinds of things, especially sexually.

382
00:13:29,820 --> 00:13:30,320
JB

383
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:32,540
loved loved to get me riled up and

384
00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:34,940
edge myself in the middle of my work

385
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,860
day. So that by the time we got

386
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:37,759
to our nighttime

387
00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:39,360
phone sex ritual,

388
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,295
I was, like, keyed up. Right?

389
00:13:42,915 --> 00:13:43,415
And

390
00:13:44,754 --> 00:13:45,815
so nobody knew

391
00:13:46,835 --> 00:13:48,695
what I was doing in the bathroom

392
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:49,975
stall. Like,

393
00:13:50,595 --> 00:13:52,195
I can keep quiet, and I could be,

394
00:13:52,195 --> 00:13:54,055
like, not make anybody else uncomfortable.

395
00:13:54,379 --> 00:13:55,839
That's just, like, unclockable

396
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,139
as I think as you get. You're just

397
00:13:58,139 --> 00:14:00,220
getting up from your desk and going to

398
00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,740
the restroom. Did you just look at your

399
00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:03,659
phone and get a text? Sure. Sure you

400
00:14:03,659 --> 00:14:06,220
did. Sure you did. But they don't know.

401
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,445
They assume you go go into the bathroom.

402
00:14:08,445 --> 00:14:10,365
God they should not assume anything else. I've

403
00:14:10,365 --> 00:14:12,445
got questions for your workplace. If anybody is

404
00:14:12,445 --> 00:14:14,684
wondering what anybody's doing in the bathroom. Like,

405
00:14:14,684 --> 00:14:16,284
you can you can have that kind of

406
00:14:16,284 --> 00:14:17,504
thing where it is very,

407
00:14:18,044 --> 00:14:20,544
very kinky, very sexual, very, very whatever.

408
00:14:21,129 --> 00:14:22,329
As long as it's something you can do

409
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,490
behind closed doors that nobody else is gonna

410
00:14:24,490 --> 00:14:26,649
watch you do. You know, how many of

411
00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:28,169
us I know not all, but how many

412
00:14:28,169 --> 00:14:30,250
of us have gone out in public with

413
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,669
a toy stuck in an orifice somewhere.

414
00:14:34,194 --> 00:14:36,434
Right? Yeah. The only person who knows about

415
00:14:36,434 --> 00:14:38,054
that is whoever has access

416
00:14:38,914 --> 00:14:41,554
to your underwear, assuming you're wearing any. If

417
00:14:41,554 --> 00:14:43,154
you put a toy in an orifice, wear

418
00:14:43,154 --> 00:14:45,634
underwear over that. Just just it gets messy

419
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:46,534
is all I'm saying.

420
00:14:48,149 --> 00:14:49,769
Free tip from me to you.

421
00:14:50,949 --> 00:14:52,709
But, yeah, we do a lot of things

422
00:14:52,709 --> 00:14:55,110
that it's I find it I think sometimes

423
00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:56,870
I say it's easier because I'm a service

424
00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:59,190
sub. Because it's like, hey, daddy. What do

425
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,470
you want me to do for you? What

426
00:15:00,470 --> 00:15:02,149
is a thing I can do for you

427
00:15:02,149 --> 00:15:04,394
and to serve? Right? But I think even

428
00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:06,235
if you're not a service hub and you're

429
00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:07,995
just like, I want my partner to have

430
00:15:07,995 --> 00:15:11,034
control. Okay. That can involve asking for permission

431
00:15:11,034 --> 00:15:11,695
for things.

432
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:15,674
Only doing things when you're explicitly told. Even

433
00:15:15,674 --> 00:15:17,679
if you don't ask the question, you and

434
00:15:17,679 --> 00:15:19,679
your partner have an agreement that your the

435
00:15:19,679 --> 00:15:21,759
Dom will tell you when to do the

436
00:15:21,759 --> 00:15:22,259
thing.

437
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,720
Do you have to maybe learn how to

438
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,820
talk in code a little bit? Sure.

439
00:15:28,159 --> 00:15:30,544
The ask permission one, text and DM, you

440
00:15:30,544 --> 00:15:32,945
know, even from the same room, whenever that's

441
00:15:32,945 --> 00:15:35,125
available. Sure. But I was thinking about it,

442
00:15:35,424 --> 00:15:36,945
and I'm very proud I'm proud of myself

443
00:15:36,945 --> 00:15:39,365
for actually remembering after having thought about it.

444
00:15:39,664 --> 00:15:41,904
One thing to try if being on your

445
00:15:41,985 --> 00:15:43,764
being on a device and being able to

446
00:15:44,225 --> 00:15:44,725
silently

447
00:15:45,184 --> 00:15:46,919
send a message to each other is not

448
00:15:46,919 --> 00:15:47,579
an option.

449
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:50,519
Set up a signal. Set up, some code

450
00:15:50,519 --> 00:15:52,519
words. Set up a here's what I'll do

451
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,679
to ask you something. And so and you

452
00:15:54,679 --> 00:15:56,360
have to communicate it ahead of time so

453
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,975
both partners know what's going on. The one

454
00:15:57,975 --> 00:16:00,154
I thought of because I thought back to

455
00:16:00,534 --> 00:16:02,695
for a while, I because I got a

456
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,335
little little out of hand with treat yourself.

457
00:16:05,335 --> 00:16:07,894
Okay. It was a it was a little

458
00:16:07,894 --> 00:16:10,214
much. So JB stepped in and said, if

459
00:16:10,214 --> 00:16:12,470
you want a treat, whatever, however we define

460
00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:14,389
treat, you have to ask permission.

461
00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:16,370
Now we were able to do it all

462
00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:19,809
through text, email, DMs, like, quietly. Nobody knew

463
00:16:19,809 --> 00:16:21,190
what we were talking about. Right.

464
00:16:22,129 --> 00:16:23,350
But in public,

465
00:16:24,289 --> 00:16:24,789
what

466
00:16:25,414 --> 00:16:27,174
I I would either lean over and whisper,

467
00:16:27,174 --> 00:16:28,855
but if I got real shy or it

468
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:31,334
was too close quarters or somebody was fucking

469
00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:31,834
nosy,

470
00:16:32,214 --> 00:16:33,814
the thing that came to mind that you

471
00:16:33,814 --> 00:16:36,214
can do when you have to negotiate it

472
00:16:36,214 --> 00:16:37,034
ahead of time

473
00:16:37,669 --> 00:16:40,230
is to ask your dom, hey. Do you

474
00:16:40,230 --> 00:16:40,730
want

475
00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:41,610
dessert?

476
00:16:41,990 --> 00:16:43,909
Now if your dom knows what you're actually

477
00:16:43,909 --> 00:16:45,909
saying is, I would like dessert, please. Can

478
00:16:45,909 --> 00:16:46,889
I have permission?

479
00:16:47,509 --> 00:16:49,829
Right? Then they have an appropriate response. Maybe

480
00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:51,004
the answer is yes. And that means both

481
00:16:51,004 --> 00:16:52,725
of y'all get dessert. Maybe they say something

482
00:16:52,725 --> 00:16:54,325
like, I don't want any but you should

483
00:16:54,325 --> 00:16:56,164
have some if you want. Your dom just

484
00:16:56,164 --> 00:16:57,605
looks like a nice human being who just

485
00:16:57,605 --> 00:16:59,544
gave you permission to do a thing, right?

486
00:16:59,764 --> 00:17:00,745
There are some

487
00:17:01,284 --> 00:17:01,784
that

488
00:17:02,940 --> 00:17:05,579
if you're trying to be a not notice,

489
00:17:05,579 --> 00:17:07,599
if you're trying to be super subtle,

490
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,579
you might not wanna ask in a public

491
00:17:09,579 --> 00:17:11,180
place in front of other people, do you

492
00:17:11,180 --> 00:17:12,700
need to go to the bathroom? Because I

493
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:14,059
need to go to the bathroom. That one

494
00:17:14,059 --> 00:17:16,125
might or can I go to the bathroom?

495
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:16,865
No. Maybe.

496
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,164
Maybe stay away from some of those. That

497
00:17:19,164 --> 00:17:20,144
will get questions.

498
00:17:20,445 --> 00:17:21,965
But if you can find a way to

499
00:17:21,965 --> 00:17:24,205
ask for something that you need permission from

500
00:17:24,205 --> 00:17:25,965
your dom to do in a way that

501
00:17:25,965 --> 00:17:27,805
lets them know, I'm actually asking if I

502
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:29,164
can do this but I'm just trying to

503
00:17:29,164 --> 00:17:31,000
make sure my grandma don't know what we're

504
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,539
talking about over here. Right?

505
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:34,839
That could be a way. It's twisting the

506
00:17:34,839 --> 00:17:35,339
question,

507
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,720
but you have to negotiate it first. True

508
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:39,880
true. Now, thankfully, we've never had to do

509
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:40,779
that because,

510
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,000
my family when I have to be around

511
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,759
my family, they know I have to get

512
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,394
some alone time. I gotta be out of

513
00:17:46,394 --> 00:17:48,234
the crowd for a while. And JB knows

514
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,775
to just wander and follow me

515
00:17:50,075 --> 00:17:51,994
or to keep his phone on him so

516
00:17:51,994 --> 00:17:53,775
I can text if I have a question

517
00:17:53,835 --> 00:17:55,535
or need permission for something.

518
00:17:56,955 --> 00:17:59,035
But there are all sorts of ways. People

519
00:17:59,035 --> 00:18:00,315
ask us all the time, what are some

520
00:18:00,315 --> 00:18:01,950
things we can do? Well, I can tell

521
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,150
you what we do, and I can tell

522
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,250
you some random ideas that come to mind,

523
00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:07,309
but none of that might speak to you.

524
00:18:07,309 --> 00:18:08,690
You've gotta think about

525
00:18:09,549 --> 00:18:10,049
what

526
00:18:10,829 --> 00:18:12,990
you, as a submissive, are willing to do,

527
00:18:12,990 --> 00:18:16,085
want to do, are capable physically, mentally, emotionally

528
00:18:16,085 --> 00:18:17,924
of doing. And the dom's gotta think about,

529
00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:19,765
well, what do I want my sub to

530
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,044
do for me? Or what rules do I

531
00:18:21,044 --> 00:18:22,325
want them we're gonna get into rules in

532
00:18:22,325 --> 00:18:24,164
a second. You know, do I want them

533
00:18:24,164 --> 00:18:26,265
to ask permission for things? Do I want

534
00:18:26,559 --> 00:18:28,240
to tell them they can't do something until

535
00:18:28,559 --> 00:18:29,140
you know,

536
00:18:29,519 --> 00:18:31,359
how what is it that's gonna make the

537
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:32,180
power exchange

538
00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:34,980
feel good to you that is not

539
00:18:35,279 --> 00:18:36,980
necessarily around the

540
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,320
getting naked naked, wearing a collar, being twisted

541
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,015
into some, you know, unique

542
00:18:42,894 --> 00:18:43,634
body position

543
00:18:43,934 --> 00:18:45,315
for the fuckery. Like

544
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,674
Mhmm. What is in your personal life?

545
00:18:49,535 --> 00:18:51,934
Some things that we did early on, and

546
00:18:51,934 --> 00:18:53,695
I still kind of do even though sometimes

547
00:18:53,695 --> 00:18:55,375
I wish I didn't, but it's fine. I'll

548
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:56,160
do it anyway.

549
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,119
I call and make JB's appointments. I have

550
00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:02,320
more access to this man's medical records than

551
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,480
he does because I know the password, and

552
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,660
it's saved on my computer. Okay?

553
00:19:08,424 --> 00:19:10,345
When it's time to deal with billing, I'm

554
00:19:10,345 --> 00:19:12,424
probably the one calling. When it's time to

555
00:19:12,424 --> 00:19:15,464
reschedule, I'm me who hates the phones, yes.

556
00:19:15,464 --> 00:19:17,244
It's an act of service. Because

557
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:19,785
if left to his own devices, JB's not

558
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:22,519
calling. JB's not calling because he doesn't wanna

559
00:19:22,519 --> 00:19:24,759
go in the first place. So as a

560
00:19:24,759 --> 00:19:26,599
submissive who wants to do if this is

561
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,039
what you how you are, if you want

562
00:19:28,039 --> 00:19:30,039
to do things for your dom, make their

563
00:19:30,039 --> 00:19:33,000
life easier to serve to whatever. Right? However

564
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,679
you define it for yourself. What are some

565
00:19:34,679 --> 00:19:36,279
things they struggle with that you know you

566
00:19:36,279 --> 00:19:37,565
can do? Right?

567
00:19:38,105 --> 00:19:40,024
I find, and this a lot of people

568
00:19:40,024 --> 00:19:41,164
I know are like this,

569
00:19:41,704 --> 00:19:43,224
I've I've been this way as a parent.

570
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,065
I am this way as a partner. The

571
00:19:45,065 --> 00:19:47,224
things I struggle to do for myself, making

572
00:19:47,224 --> 00:19:49,164
a fucking phone call. Oh, my god.

573
00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:52,240
Will I procrastinate for six months? Of course.

574
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,700
I can do for somebody else. Not always

575
00:19:54,700 --> 00:19:57,980
easily, but more willingly, quicker. Right? So I'm

576
00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,259
not gonna make a phone call on my

577
00:19:59,259 --> 00:20:02,059
own behalf unless I literally have no fucking

578
00:20:02,059 --> 00:20:04,460
choice and it's the only way. But for

579
00:20:04,460 --> 00:20:04,960
JB,

580
00:20:05,375 --> 00:20:07,555
he makes it a task, I'll do it.

581
00:20:07,695 --> 00:20:09,055
Or I just know it needs to be

582
00:20:09,055 --> 00:20:11,134
done and I'll I'll check-in. Hey, can I

583
00:20:11,134 --> 00:20:13,055
do that thing for you? That's another way

584
00:20:13,055 --> 00:20:15,695
to ask your dom something in public without

585
00:20:15,695 --> 00:20:16,674
anybody necessarily

586
00:20:17,455 --> 00:20:20,174
noticing something is air quote off. Right? Or

587
00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:21,910
different. Is, hey. Can I do that thing

588
00:20:21,910 --> 00:20:23,269
for you? Hey. Do you need help with

589
00:20:23,269 --> 00:20:23,769
that?

590
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:26,309
Talk about it ahead of time. Negotiate it

591
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,710
ahead of time so that a a partner

592
00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:30,549
who is, like, in a different space and

593
00:20:30,549 --> 00:20:31,850
might not be in that headspace

594
00:20:32,309 --> 00:20:34,789
knows the words you're gonna use and how

595
00:20:34,789 --> 00:20:36,765
you're gonna frame a request or whatever.

596
00:20:37,724 --> 00:20:39,805
But for finding things you can do that

597
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:40,384
are not

598
00:20:40,845 --> 00:20:41,984
erotic, specifically

599
00:20:42,845 --> 00:20:45,984
kinky in the the under the umbrella BDSM

600
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,345
of activities kinky,

601
00:20:47,724 --> 00:20:48,785
you know, sexual,

602
00:20:49,325 --> 00:20:50,819
what can you do for one another?

603
00:20:51,779 --> 00:20:54,419
Subs. What, do you struggle with that you

604
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:57,059
would love for a Dom to just be

605
00:20:57,059 --> 00:20:58,980
in fucking charge of? Now, is it the

606
00:20:58,980 --> 00:21:00,599
mundane shit? Take your medication,

607
00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:02,359
go to bed on time,

608
00:21:03,105 --> 00:21:05,664
Less screen time. Yeah. Sometimes it is. Sometimes

609
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,424
it's that shit that we know we're supposed

610
00:21:07,424 --> 00:21:09,265
to do, but we can't make ourselves do

611
00:21:09,265 --> 00:21:10,164
it. Well, maybe

612
00:21:10,704 --> 00:21:12,404
if it appeals to you and a partner,

613
00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:14,144
your dom can do that for you. Those

614
00:21:14,144 --> 00:21:14,880
kinds of things

615
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,920
you know they're kinky. You know you're doing

616
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,279
them because you're the dom or you're the

617
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,680
sub and the only reason you're allowing this

618
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,759
is because it's a power exchange. Nobody else

619
00:21:23,759 --> 00:21:24,579
knows that.

620
00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:27,039
If somebody happens to see it in public

621
00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:28,605
or you're in a public space, you just

622
00:21:28,605 --> 00:21:30,365
have to frame it in a way that

623
00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:32,765
either somebody kinda goes, oh, that's different, or

624
00:21:32,765 --> 00:21:35,164
they go, oh, that's so nice. They're so

625
00:21:35,164 --> 00:21:37,325
sweet. Or don't even give a fuck. Right?

626
00:21:37,325 --> 00:21:39,744
But just you don't want anybody asking uncomfortable

627
00:21:39,804 --> 00:21:41,105
questions. Now for

628
00:21:41,669 --> 00:21:43,190
the folks out there who are like, well,

629
00:21:43,190 --> 00:21:44,869
it shouldn't matter. Now I don't care. And

630
00:21:44,869 --> 00:21:46,389
I just do what I want. I am

631
00:21:46,389 --> 00:21:48,389
very happy for you. But some of us

632
00:21:48,389 --> 00:21:51,269
don't wanna have those conversations with strangers, family

633
00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:52,169
members, children,

634
00:21:52,549 --> 00:21:53,049
coworkers.

635
00:21:53,775 --> 00:21:55,234
Some of us don't. So

636
00:21:55,535 --> 00:21:56,974
we would like to stay under the radar

637
00:21:56,974 --> 00:21:58,035
thinking of this.

638
00:21:59,535 --> 00:22:00,734
Before I move on to the next one,

639
00:22:00,734 --> 00:22:02,654
can you think of any other sort of

640
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:03,154
subtle,

641
00:22:03,695 --> 00:22:04,515
not noticeable?

642
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:09,069
I mean, for us there, you know, there's

643
00:22:09,069 --> 00:22:11,230
you walking on a particular side Yes. When

644
00:22:11,230 --> 00:22:12,990
we're out. And got in that was the

645
00:22:12,990 --> 00:22:14,829
most obvious king thing I think we've ever

646
00:22:14,829 --> 00:22:16,829
done in public when I got in trouble

647
00:22:17,150 --> 00:22:18,829
Oh, yeah. When I wasn't. And it was

648
00:22:18,829 --> 00:22:21,494
the closest to bratty I've ever come. Mhmm.

649
00:22:21,894 --> 00:22:23,335
And did did I get moved to the

650
00:22:23,335 --> 00:22:25,734
correct side of JB by my hair? Yes.

651
00:22:25,734 --> 00:22:27,115
I did. Yes. I did.

652
00:22:27,815 --> 00:22:29,414
Was it at, like, an empty parking lot

653
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,934
and we were not being watched? Yes. That

654
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:32,295
was but that's the thing that's the most

655
00:22:32,295 --> 00:22:35,448
openly, like, dominant you've ever met. And oddly,

656
00:22:35,448 --> 00:22:38,213
you've never done it after that either. No.

657
00:22:38,213 --> 00:22:40,979
No. No. Because I'm not trying to be

658
00:22:40,979 --> 00:22:43,744
out here disobeying these streets. Okay? I was

659
00:22:43,744 --> 00:22:46,509
both mortified and turned on and put in

660
00:22:46,509 --> 00:22:49,275
my place, which is what I fucking needed.

661
00:22:49,515 --> 00:22:51,275
But also, you know what? I was mad

662
00:22:51,275 --> 00:22:53,275
at you at the time because we were

663
00:22:53,275 --> 00:22:53,775
kinda

664
00:22:54,234 --> 00:22:56,634
2020, I think. Maybe 2021.

665
00:22:56,634 --> 00:22:58,154
We were barely going out. When we were

666
00:22:58,154 --> 00:22:59,835
going out, you were not keeping up with

667
00:22:59,835 --> 00:23:02,714
any of our things we do because we're

668
00:23:02,714 --> 00:23:03,390
power exchange

669
00:23:03,869 --> 00:23:05,390
y, and I think I was a little

670
00:23:05,390 --> 00:23:05,890
pissed.

671
00:23:06,430 --> 00:23:08,349
And when you weren't enforcing anything, I was

672
00:23:08,349 --> 00:23:08,849
like,

673
00:23:09,549 --> 00:23:10,049
okay.

674
00:23:11,309 --> 00:23:13,710
One time one time in my submissive life

675
00:23:13,710 --> 00:23:16,049
have I been like that and never again.

676
00:23:17,070 --> 00:23:19,424
Never It's called giving you enough rope.

677
00:23:20,125 --> 00:23:22,365
I guess so. But you know what? After

678
00:23:22,365 --> 00:23:23,904
that, you started,

679
00:23:25,484 --> 00:23:28,284
watching and, like, paying attention to the power

680
00:23:28,284 --> 00:23:29,345
exchanger stuff.

681
00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:31,809
So just saying. Yep.

682
00:23:32,269 --> 00:23:33,250
Okay. So

683
00:23:34,829 --> 00:23:37,630
the subtle under the radar thing, activities and

684
00:23:37,630 --> 00:23:39,490
only means something to you. That's one way.

685
00:23:39,549 --> 00:23:41,309
The other thing that we tend to do,

686
00:23:41,309 --> 00:23:44,154
and it can wrap up into and connect

687
00:23:44,154 --> 00:23:46,015
with these subtle activities,

688
00:23:46,555 --> 00:23:49,355
is we love a good routine, a good

689
00:23:49,355 --> 00:23:50,494
ongoing rule,

690
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:51,375
and

691
00:23:51,994 --> 00:23:52,494
when

692
00:23:52,875 --> 00:23:54,734
possible, a schedule of things.

693
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,674
Part of this is so that if you

694
00:23:57,674 --> 00:24:00,470
kind of know what's coming and what's supposed

695
00:24:00,929 --> 00:24:03,250
to happen, sometimes you can plan your the

696
00:24:03,250 --> 00:24:05,169
other parts of your life around that. Like,

697
00:24:05,169 --> 00:24:06,309
oh, if I know

698
00:24:07,089 --> 00:24:09,009
at noon every day, I'm supposed to make

699
00:24:09,009 --> 00:24:11,809
this phone call to my dominant partner. That's

700
00:24:11,809 --> 00:24:13,490
the thing that that's the thing I've been

701
00:24:13,490 --> 00:24:14,309
told to do

702
00:24:15,134 --> 00:24:16,275
every Monday. Right?

703
00:24:17,215 --> 00:24:18,815
To the best of your ability, you can

704
00:24:18,815 --> 00:24:21,215
kinda move things around in your life sometimes

705
00:24:21,215 --> 00:24:22,974
to go, yes. I can make that time.

706
00:24:22,974 --> 00:24:25,375
Right? Mhmm. And if you can see something

707
00:24:25,375 --> 00:24:27,215
coming down the line where you can't, you

708
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:28,440
have hopefully enough

709
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:30,824
time to go, hey. We're gonna have to

710
00:24:30,824 --> 00:24:31,819
shift this. And you're

711
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:33,960
doing what you wanna do within your power

712
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,460
exchange.

713
00:24:35,159 --> 00:24:36,839
The dom has the control. The sub is

714
00:24:36,839 --> 00:24:38,220
doing the thing, whatever whatever.

715
00:24:38,679 --> 00:24:41,559
But you're not wondering and waiting for when

716
00:24:41,559 --> 00:24:43,194
the next time you're gonna get to do

717
00:24:43,194 --> 00:24:45,755
a specifically submissive thing or a specifically dominant

718
00:24:45,755 --> 00:24:47,755
thing. You already have a fucking plan. I

719
00:24:47,755 --> 00:24:49,674
love me a good schedule and I love

720
00:24:49,674 --> 00:24:51,694
me a good routine. That you do.

721
00:24:52,634 --> 00:24:54,954
Now that for me is very comforting. Now

722
00:24:54,954 --> 00:24:57,049
some people would rather stab themselves in the

723
00:24:57,049 --> 00:24:59,230
eye with a paperclip than follow a routine.

724
00:24:59,609 --> 00:25:02,250
This might not be applicable to you. They

725
00:25:02,650 --> 00:25:03,150
okay.

726
00:25:03,849 --> 00:25:05,609
But some of us know, even when we

727
00:25:05,609 --> 00:25:07,210
hate routine, I'm not that person, but I

728
00:25:07,210 --> 00:25:09,785
know y'all exist, that we do better with

729
00:25:09,785 --> 00:25:10,285
routine.

730
00:25:11,464 --> 00:25:13,224
It's about finding a routine that you're willing

731
00:25:13,224 --> 00:25:14,365
to do. And,

732
00:25:14,904 --> 00:25:16,664
for anybody who's going, no. Routines are like

733
00:25:16,664 --> 00:25:18,744
20 steps and 10 pages of no. No.

734
00:25:18,744 --> 00:25:20,345
They're not. That's the thing you do in

735
00:25:20,345 --> 00:25:21,545
the morning and the thing you do at

736
00:25:21,545 --> 00:25:22,045
night.

737
00:25:22,460 --> 00:25:25,180
JB called me in, long distance called me

738
00:25:25,180 --> 00:25:28,000
every morning. Mhmm. It was about 6AM.

739
00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:30,619
Yep. Was it 6AM your time? Yeah. Which

740
00:25:30,619 --> 00:25:32,319
meant it was five 5AM.

741
00:25:33,099 --> 00:25:34,575
Yep. 5AM my time. Yep.

742
00:25:35,214 --> 00:25:37,634
And And you were an hour behind. Right.

743
00:25:37,934 --> 00:25:39,454
Time zones are hard. Y'all know how I

744
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:40,514
am with numbers. Okay.

745
00:25:40,974 --> 00:25:42,514
So that was a thing

746
00:25:42,815 --> 00:25:44,914
we worked in long distance

747
00:25:45,855 --> 00:25:47,694
every day. He was gonna call, and he

748
00:25:47,694 --> 00:25:49,075
was gonna wake me up.

749
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:51,420
Was it possible that I could have missed

750
00:25:51,420 --> 00:25:52,859
that call? Sure. But I made sure that

751
00:25:52,859 --> 00:25:54,640
my ringer was on in a crazy obnoxious

752
00:25:54,940 --> 00:25:55,759
loud whatever.

753
00:25:56,059 --> 00:25:57,579
I knew I could wake up to that.

754
00:25:57,579 --> 00:25:59,980
So that that was feasible for us. That

755
00:25:59,980 --> 00:26:01,660
was part of our routine. We also knew

756
00:26:01,660 --> 00:26:03,200
at the end of the night,

757
00:26:04,115 --> 00:26:05,315
we were gonna talk and it was probably

758
00:26:05,315 --> 00:26:06,434
gonna be phone sex. Look, it was probably

759
00:26:06,434 --> 00:26:07,715
gonna be phone sex in the morning too,

760
00:26:07,715 --> 00:26:09,315
but it depended on the mood. Right? Right.

761
00:26:09,315 --> 00:26:10,595
By the end of the day, same thing.

762
00:26:10,595 --> 00:26:13,174
But we had those two things that were,

763
00:26:13,315 --> 00:26:13,815
like,

764
00:26:14,195 --> 00:26:16,195
they were a part of our routine. Right.

765
00:26:16,195 --> 00:26:17,715
And they were things that we looked forward

766
00:26:17,715 --> 00:26:19,109
to. And they were things that were done

767
00:26:19,109 --> 00:26:21,049
in my bedroom behind closed doors.

768
00:26:21,509 --> 00:26:22,009
Everyone's

769
00:26:22,549 --> 00:26:24,549
everyone's small, there would be a child in

770
00:26:24,549 --> 00:26:26,950
the bed because long distance, I still had

771
00:26:27,430 --> 00:26:29,609
Mhmm. The oldest was, like,

772
00:26:30,230 --> 00:26:30,730
seven

773
00:26:31,865 --> 00:26:33,164
seven, six seven.

774
00:26:33,465 --> 00:26:35,945
Youngest was, like, two three. So you could

775
00:26:36,105 --> 00:26:37,785
conceivably, I could have a toddler in a

776
00:26:37,785 --> 00:26:39,225
bed. But all that meant was when I

777
00:26:39,225 --> 00:26:41,065
picked up the phone, I was like, you

778
00:26:41,065 --> 00:26:43,465
know, hey. Whatever I would call him that

779
00:26:43,465 --> 00:26:45,144
was not daddy because I was not explaining

780
00:26:45,144 --> 00:26:45,450
that

781
00:26:46,009 --> 00:26:47,049
to my child. I got a kid in

782
00:26:47,049 --> 00:26:48,649
the bed. And it just meant we didn't

783
00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:50,329
talk about the same things that we might

784
00:26:50,329 --> 00:26:52,109
normally. But the routine

785
00:26:52,649 --> 00:26:55,549
Was still there. Was still there. Correct. Now

786
00:26:55,929 --> 00:26:56,589
the routine

787
00:26:57,049 --> 00:26:59,914
is much more boring and way less sex.

788
00:27:00,855 --> 00:27:02,235
The morning routine,

789
00:27:02,695 --> 00:27:04,934
when I finally drag my ass out of

790
00:27:04,934 --> 00:27:05,434
bed,

791
00:27:05,894 --> 00:27:08,235
I make sure that JB has his probiotic

792
00:27:08,455 --> 00:27:10,375
where he needs it. I make his iced

793
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:13,015
coffee for the day, and I offer, if

794
00:27:13,015 --> 00:27:14,819
he's not already eating breakfast, to make his

795
00:27:14,899 --> 00:27:16,980
breakfast. Mhmm. That's the morning routine. Now there's

796
00:27:16,980 --> 00:27:19,139
other stuff in the day. We I love

797
00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:20,579
a routine. I'll have a routine all day

798
00:27:20,579 --> 00:27:23,220
long. The end of the day routine, now

799
00:27:23,220 --> 00:27:25,880
that's behind closed doors. Nobody can see. Right.

800
00:27:25,940 --> 00:27:26,440
And

801
00:27:26,819 --> 00:27:29,244
it could get loud, but when at times

802
00:27:29,244 --> 00:27:30,365
when we could not make a lot of

803
00:27:30,365 --> 00:27:32,684
extra noise because children were way too close

804
00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:33,424
to our room,

805
00:27:34,125 --> 00:27:36,305
it was getting permission to go to bed,

806
00:27:36,605 --> 00:27:38,465
which actually ties into my third

807
00:27:39,085 --> 00:27:40,065
thing for

808
00:27:40,525 --> 00:27:42,865
doing DS. I mean, nobody else will notice.

809
00:27:42,980 --> 00:27:44,580
But it it was I have to ask

810
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:45,940
permission to go to bed. And what that

811
00:27:45,940 --> 00:27:47,220
routine looked like is I get the bed

812
00:27:47,220 --> 00:27:48,580
pulled down, I get the pillows in the

813
00:27:48,580 --> 00:27:49,880
way JB wants them.

814
00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:52,759
I get the room kind of like situated.

815
00:27:52,820 --> 00:27:54,440
And I say that I have a vanity,

816
00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:57,404
in the bedroom where I do my skincare

817
00:27:57,404 --> 00:27:58,684
and makeup or whatever, and I have a

818
00:27:58,684 --> 00:27:59,965
chair. And it's my job to make sure

819
00:27:59,965 --> 00:28:02,525
that chair is pushed in. In case JB

820
00:28:02,525 --> 00:28:03,644
gets up in the middle of the night,

821
00:28:03,644 --> 00:28:05,965
he would trip and, like, do a cartwheel

822
00:28:05,965 --> 00:28:07,884
in the fucking bedroom. He is not supposed

823
00:28:07,884 --> 00:28:09,419
to be doing that. That's not gonna work

824
00:28:09,419 --> 00:28:11,759
out. So that's my job. And that is

825
00:28:12,220 --> 00:28:13,519
very mundane stuff,

826
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,220
but I do that every night. Right. And

827
00:28:16,220 --> 00:28:17,740
then and we've talked about this a million

828
00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:19,339
times. This is not new for anybody who's

829
00:28:19,339 --> 00:28:21,179
been here for a minute. I lean over

830
00:28:21,179 --> 00:28:23,115
the fucking bed and I wait to get

831
00:28:23,115 --> 00:28:25,674
permission to go to bed. Yep. Now I

832
00:28:25,674 --> 00:28:27,755
do a lean over because these knees are

833
00:28:27,755 --> 00:28:29,755
not kneeling. That's not happening. Yeah. It's it's

834
00:28:29,755 --> 00:28:31,195
been a it's been a hot minute. We

835
00:28:31,195 --> 00:28:33,035
had to change that up Mhmm. You know,

836
00:28:33,035 --> 00:28:34,154
because of your knees. And,

837
00:28:34,954 --> 00:28:37,139
it actually makes it kinda easier on me

838
00:28:37,139 --> 00:28:38,440
too now with my back.

839
00:28:38,740 --> 00:28:40,899
It we we did not measure it purposely,

840
00:28:40,899 --> 00:28:42,599
but our bed and our with our mattresses

841
00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:44,099
on it are it's like a really good

842
00:28:44,099 --> 00:28:45,859
height for Mhmm. A lot of things that

843
00:28:45,859 --> 00:28:47,460
can happen when you're bent over a bed,

844
00:28:47,460 --> 00:28:48,279
by the way.

845
00:28:49,380 --> 00:28:49,880
So

846
00:28:50,464 --> 00:28:51,924
that that will happen

847
00:28:52,945 --> 00:28:55,025
every fucking day. Those two things, the way

848
00:28:55,025 --> 00:28:56,065
I start my day and the way I

849
00:28:56,065 --> 00:28:58,065
end my day. Now some there might be

850
00:28:58,065 --> 00:28:59,605
some subtle differences. I

851
00:29:00,065 --> 00:29:01,924
crave my routine so much

852
00:29:02,384 --> 00:29:04,630
that even if JB, and this is very

853
00:29:04,630 --> 00:29:06,390
rare, needs to go to bed before I

854
00:29:06,390 --> 00:29:08,349
do, like, he's sick and he's, like, going

855
00:29:08,349 --> 00:29:09,829
to bed at 08:30 and I'm, like, I'm

856
00:29:09,829 --> 00:29:11,589
sorry. I just can't. I don't wanna go

857
00:29:11,589 --> 00:29:12,950
to bed right now. And he's, like, you

858
00:29:12,950 --> 00:29:13,849
don't have to.

859
00:29:14,309 --> 00:29:15,450
He'll get in bed

860
00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:17,910
and be sitting there just to read before

861
00:29:17,910 --> 00:29:19,210
he's ready to go to sleep.

862
00:29:19,545 --> 00:29:21,305
Y'all, I will bend right over his lap

863
00:29:21,305 --> 00:29:22,984
in that bed and be like, I'm sorry.

864
00:29:22,984 --> 00:29:25,705
I'm gonna need future permission. He's like, okay.

865
00:29:25,705 --> 00:29:26,605
Rub the butt.

866
00:29:27,065 --> 00:29:28,505
When it's time you have permission, I come

867
00:29:28,505 --> 00:29:29,945
to bed. And so we still do the

868
00:29:29,945 --> 00:29:31,785
thing even if we have to modify it.

869
00:29:31,785 --> 00:29:34,329
And again, that is if somebody was watching,

870
00:29:34,329 --> 00:29:36,409
if we had an audience that is more

871
00:29:36,409 --> 00:29:37,630
obviously kinky,

872
00:29:38,569 --> 00:29:40,569
but it's behind closed doors and we're not

873
00:29:40,569 --> 00:29:42,429
screaming, and there's not, like,

874
00:29:42,970 --> 00:29:44,730
whips and paddles making a whole bunch of

875
00:29:44,730 --> 00:29:47,524
noise. It's a very quiet moment that Mhmm.

876
00:29:48,144 --> 00:29:51,184
Nobody is clocking unless they're literally got their

877
00:29:51,184 --> 00:29:52,865
ear down at the crack at the bottom

878
00:29:52,865 --> 00:29:55,265
of your door. Right? And if they do,

879
00:29:55,265 --> 00:29:57,744
why what? What? Let's have a conversation about

880
00:29:57,744 --> 00:29:59,284
balance. What the fuck is happening?

881
00:29:59,664 --> 00:30:00,164
So

882
00:30:00,980 --> 00:30:02,420
that's what I mean when I say routine.

883
00:30:02,420 --> 00:30:04,900
It can be if you both want it

884
00:30:04,900 --> 00:30:07,059
to be something where it's wrapped up into,

885
00:30:07,059 --> 00:30:07,559
like,

886
00:30:08,099 --> 00:30:10,099
every hour of the day, there's something you're

887
00:30:10,099 --> 00:30:11,480
doing that's part of the routine.

888
00:30:11,940 --> 00:30:13,619
Or it can be something really simple. First

889
00:30:13,619 --> 00:30:15,235
thing in the morning, last thing at night,

890
00:30:15,455 --> 00:30:17,375
everything in the middle is whatever the day

891
00:30:17,375 --> 00:30:18,275
brings. Right?

892
00:30:20,255 --> 00:30:22,575
That's that's what and and those are things

893
00:30:22,575 --> 00:30:25,154
that me putting out JB's probiotic,

894
00:30:26,149 --> 00:30:27,589
no child is gonna ask me why I'm

895
00:30:27,589 --> 00:30:29,589
giving this man his pill. They're gonna be

896
00:30:29,589 --> 00:30:30,710
like, why don't you put out all the

897
00:30:30,710 --> 00:30:32,089
other pills that he's got?

898
00:30:33,269 --> 00:30:34,869
In my head, that's not the rule. I

899
00:30:34,869 --> 00:30:36,230
do this one. I keep up with this

900
00:30:36,230 --> 00:30:37,750
one. I don't know why it's that one.

901
00:30:37,750 --> 00:30:39,029
He's got a pill thing for all the

902
00:30:39,029 --> 00:30:40,454
others, but that's that's how we worked it

903
00:30:40,454 --> 00:30:42,934
out. It doesn't look like anything. Me asking

904
00:30:42,934 --> 00:30:44,375
if he needs me to make him breakfast

905
00:30:44,375 --> 00:30:45,974
just looks like I'm being a nice human

906
00:30:45,974 --> 00:30:46,474
being.

907
00:30:47,015 --> 00:30:48,454
A lot of the things that you can

908
00:30:48,454 --> 00:30:50,934
do as Dom or sub where other people

909
00:30:50,934 --> 00:30:53,015
are watching literally just make you look like

910
00:30:53,015 --> 00:30:55,095
a caring, kind human being who wants the

911
00:30:55,095 --> 00:30:56,154
best for your partner.

912
00:30:56,669 --> 00:30:57,970
Truly. If you if

913
00:30:58,669 --> 00:31:01,309
you play with the wording you use and

914
00:31:01,309 --> 00:31:03,730
you you are mindful of the activities,

915
00:31:05,470 --> 00:31:07,149
you're just gonna look like, you know, a

916
00:31:07,149 --> 00:31:10,555
fucking hero to somebody who likes your partner

917
00:31:10,555 --> 00:31:11,595
more than they like you. You know, they'll

918
00:31:11,595 --> 00:31:13,115
be like, oh, you're really taking care of

919
00:31:13,115 --> 00:31:15,355
my bestie. Yay. And you're like, oh, yeah.

920
00:31:15,355 --> 00:31:17,595
I'm taking care of your bestie. You'd be

921
00:31:17,595 --> 00:31:19,195
amazed what I'm doing to that ass. Yeah.

922
00:31:19,195 --> 00:31:21,055
But you don't have to say all that.

923
00:31:23,579 --> 00:31:25,019
Final one, unless you have some more you

924
00:31:25,019 --> 00:31:27,660
wanna add to routines, rules. Rules? I have

925
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:28,160
rules.

926
00:31:28,700 --> 00:31:30,460
That let me do the rules first. Okay.

927
00:31:30,460 --> 00:31:31,839
Rules are really good because

928
00:31:32,460 --> 00:31:33,279
that's not

929
00:31:34,140 --> 00:31:35,359
the rules I follow,

930
00:31:35,819 --> 00:31:37,740
JB is never standing over me while I

931
00:31:37,740 --> 00:31:40,755
follow those rules. No. So nobody's clocking if

932
00:31:40,755 --> 00:31:42,694
I'm following a rule that I agreed to.

933
00:31:42,755 --> 00:31:44,295
But my rules are fairly simple.

934
00:31:46,434 --> 00:31:48,355
Always speak with respect. I just think that

935
00:31:48,355 --> 00:31:49,954
should be a human rule, but, you know,

936
00:31:49,954 --> 00:31:51,894
it works. Always speak with respect.

937
00:31:53,049 --> 00:31:54,910
I walk on a certain side of him.

938
00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:56,970
Do I look sometimes like a crazy person

939
00:31:56,970 --> 00:31:58,590
trying to get to the correct side

940
00:31:59,369 --> 00:32:01,369
of JB? Maybe. But I don't give a

941
00:32:01,369 --> 00:32:03,049
fuck what strangers on a parking lot thing,

942
00:32:03,049 --> 00:32:03,950
so it don't matter.

943
00:32:05,044 --> 00:32:06,644
The permission to go to bed, that's a

944
00:32:06,644 --> 00:32:07,144
rule.

945
00:32:08,724 --> 00:32:11,204
You know, those kinds of things. Like, making

946
00:32:11,204 --> 00:32:12,964
coffee is a rule, but we wrap it

947
00:32:12,964 --> 00:32:15,625
into service. We wrap it into routine. Mhmm.

948
00:32:15,845 --> 00:32:18,085
Those things kinda start to cross over depending

949
00:32:18,085 --> 00:32:19,065
on what they are.

950
00:32:20,690 --> 00:32:22,769
That allows me to do things as a

951
00:32:22,769 --> 00:32:23,269
submissive

952
00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:26,869
even when nothing else is going on

953
00:32:27,410 --> 00:32:29,190
in our power exchange life.

954
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,970
So when it all goes to shit or

955
00:32:31,970 --> 00:32:32,470
we're,

956
00:32:32,929 --> 00:32:33,589
you know,

957
00:32:34,529 --> 00:32:37,565
we're visiting family and and completely out of

958
00:32:37,565 --> 00:32:39,424
our element and have no real privacy,

959
00:32:40,444 --> 00:32:42,784
I can still do these things and they're

960
00:32:43,005 --> 00:32:44,384
meaningful to us. Now

961
00:32:44,845 --> 00:32:46,924
what I will say is I have found

962
00:32:46,924 --> 00:32:47,664
to be important,

963
00:32:48,284 --> 00:32:49,664
your mileage may vary,

964
00:32:50,119 --> 00:32:51,480
is if I have to do a lot

965
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,400
of really subtle things because we're spending a

966
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:55,400
lot of time in front of family or

967
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,840
friends or some professional whatever whatever. And I'm

968
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:00,519
doing all the stuff that I just know

969
00:33:00,519 --> 00:33:01,960
I'm supposed to do, and I don't I'm

970
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,100
not getting any direct,

971
00:33:03,559 --> 00:33:05,740
hey, baby girl. Do this kind of stuff.

972
00:33:06,455 --> 00:33:07,434
What I need

973
00:33:07,815 --> 00:33:08,555
from JB

974
00:33:08,934 --> 00:33:11,174
is to acknowledge those things when we're in

975
00:33:11,174 --> 00:33:13,894
private, when we are alone, to to let

976
00:33:13,894 --> 00:33:15,974
me know that he knows I'm doing what

977
00:33:15,974 --> 00:33:18,535
I'm supposed to be doing. Because I can

978
00:33:18,535 --> 00:33:19,974
go a long time and just do what

979
00:33:19,974 --> 00:33:21,335
I'm supposed to do as a submissive, the

980
00:33:21,335 --> 00:33:23,481
things I agreed to do with little to

981
00:33:23,481 --> 00:33:25,630
no acknowledgment. I can. And I have. Sometimes

982
00:33:25,630 --> 00:33:27,779
you just have to. But do I do

983
00:33:27,779 --> 00:33:29,928
a whole hell of a lot better if

984
00:33:29,928 --> 00:33:32,077
JB makes the extra effort to go, I

985
00:33:32,077 --> 00:33:34,226
see you. I see what you're doing. You're

986
00:33:34,226 --> 00:33:36,375
doing good. I'm proud of you. Whatever. Whatever.

987
00:33:36,855 --> 00:33:38,934
Whatever. Yeah. Because then I know I'm not

988
00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:40,714
just out there doing it all my lonesome,

989
00:33:40,934 --> 00:33:43,015
and my my Dom is just doing whatever

990
00:33:43,015 --> 00:33:44,875
the daddy's on vacation.

991
00:33:45,734 --> 00:33:48,075
Kayla's over here, like, grinding. You know?

992
00:33:52,319 --> 00:33:54,420
So that is one of the, I think,

993
00:33:55,039 --> 00:33:55,539
potentially

994
00:33:57,039 --> 00:33:57,519
challenge

995
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,880
potential challenges of the kind of power exchange

996
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:02,160
that you put on a routine that's just

997
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,480
an ongoing rule that does not require direct

998
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:04,980
oversight

999
00:34:05,724 --> 00:34:06,544
all the time

1000
00:34:06,845 --> 00:34:08,944
is that it can be unintentionally

1001
00:34:09,324 --> 00:34:10,304
taken for granted.

1002
00:34:10,684 --> 00:34:11,585
It can be,

1003
00:34:13,565 --> 00:34:15,405
assumed that it will happen and then so

1004
00:34:15,405 --> 00:34:17,324
then there's very little acknowledgment. So to the

1005
00:34:17,324 --> 00:34:18,304
doms out there,

1006
00:34:20,605 --> 00:34:21,360
to whatever capacity

1007
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:23,140
partner needs,

1008
00:34:23,519 --> 00:34:25,280
acknowledge the things that, yeah, they're supposed to

1009
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:26,880
be doing anyway because it it can make

1010
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:28,640
a difference. I will feel a lot more

1011
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,519
submissive not while I'm following the rule, but

1012
00:34:31,519 --> 00:34:34,099
when at some random point that I didn't,

1013
00:34:34,559 --> 00:34:37,025
you know, didn't know was coming, JB goes,

1014
00:34:37,025 --> 00:34:38,565
good job. I saw that.

1015
00:34:39,105 --> 00:34:41,105
Oh. Oh, get me right in the subby

1016
00:34:41,105 --> 00:34:43,184
field. He's still a little subby hard. Oh

1017
00:34:43,184 --> 00:34:43,924
my god.

1018
00:34:44,704 --> 00:34:47,364
Because look, the praise kink is strong.

1019
00:34:50,250 --> 00:34:52,250
I want I want I want to hear

1020
00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,950
that I'm doing good. The validation

1021
00:34:55,130 --> 00:34:57,390
gives me life. You know? So

1022
00:34:57,849 --> 00:35:00,090
okay. So the final one Mhmm. And this

1023
00:35:00,090 --> 00:35:00,829
is very

1024
00:35:02,065 --> 00:35:02,945
this will be

1025
00:35:03,425 --> 00:35:04,485
how do I put this?

1026
00:35:05,905 --> 00:35:06,405
Location

1027
00:35:06,704 --> 00:35:10,065
and audience dependent. And these are some things

1028
00:35:10,065 --> 00:35:11,364
that have gotten us through.

1029
00:35:11,744 --> 00:35:13,364
And it's small points of connection.

1030
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:16,239
That don't mean anything to anybody but you

1031
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,319
and or you can do behind a closed

1032
00:35:18,319 --> 00:35:19,859
door. K? And quietly.

1033
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:22,960
Our constant point of connection, no matter what

1034
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,199
the hell is going on, is not that

1035
00:35:25,199 --> 00:35:27,039
I ask permission to go to bed. It's

1036
00:35:27,039 --> 00:35:28,065
how that happens.

1037
00:35:29,264 --> 00:35:31,264
Assed out y'all. Just

1038
00:35:31,744 --> 00:35:33,585
and y'all know me. I'm probably wiggling it

1039
00:35:33,585 --> 00:35:35,525
because by my standing still, I cannot.

1040
00:35:35,905 --> 00:35:38,244
I will entice you with this jiggle. Okay?

1041
00:35:38,304 --> 00:35:40,839
The junk in the trunk is jiggling. Please

1042
00:35:40,839 --> 00:35:42,940
come touch it is what I'm begging for.

1043
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,219
And JV

1044
00:35:46,119 --> 00:35:48,780
will touch my ass. Now sometimes,

1045
00:35:49,159 --> 00:35:51,239
it's just a butt rub because he's tired

1046
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:53,400
because there's somebody outside the hallway because we're

1047
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,159
in a place with thin walls and we

1048
00:35:55,159 --> 00:35:56,585
don't want smack sounds.

1049
00:35:58,804 --> 00:36:00,484
Sometimes he'll smack my ass because we have

1050
00:36:00,484 --> 00:36:01,945
the luxury of it because,

1051
00:36:02,565 --> 00:36:04,744
we're not worried about noise. Whatever whatever.

1052
00:36:05,764 --> 00:36:07,385
But we have that point

1053
00:36:07,764 --> 00:36:09,525
every day. Right. You wanna see me get

1054
00:36:09,525 --> 00:36:11,465
cranky? You wanna see me,

1055
00:36:11,820 --> 00:36:14,079
like, have my little stubby feelings hurt?

1056
00:36:14,619 --> 00:36:16,300
Let me miss that point of connection. It

1057
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:16,800
doesn't

1058
00:36:17,180 --> 00:36:19,260
And it even goes a little bit further

1059
00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:21,500
beyond that because after that, when I give

1060
00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:23,140
her permission to go to bed Mhmm.

1061
00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:25,644
We both like to read in bed. Mhmm.

1062
00:36:25,644 --> 00:36:26,144
Okay?

1063
00:36:26,445 --> 00:36:28,765
So once settled in, you know, she'll pick

1064
00:36:28,765 --> 00:36:30,684
up her book, I'll be reading my book.

1065
00:36:30,684 --> 00:36:32,605
But then once the books get put down

1066
00:36:32,925 --> 00:36:34,785
Mhmm. And it's time for bed,

1067
00:36:36,684 --> 00:36:38,144
we always have

1068
00:36:38,684 --> 00:36:39,744
a little banter.

1069
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:41,760
If you're awake enough for it. If I'm

1070
00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,239
awake enough. Most more than not, I am.

1071
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:44,739
But

1072
00:36:45,039 --> 00:36:47,039
anyway, you know, we we have a little

1073
00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:49,440
banter that that we go back and forth

1074
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,420
with. And,

1075
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,219
you know, there there's nothing really inherently

1076
00:36:54,614 --> 00:36:56,934
power dynamic y about it. Right. But you

1077
00:36:56,934 --> 00:36:58,934
know what? Some of those moments that we've

1078
00:36:58,934 --> 00:37:01,594
had like that, I have laughed the hardest.

1079
00:37:01,735 --> 00:37:03,175
Oh, my god. Laughed until it was sick

1080
00:37:03,175 --> 00:37:04,394
to my stomach. Yeah.

1081
00:37:04,775 --> 00:37:06,074
Yeah. You you know? And,

1082
00:37:06,730 --> 00:37:08,489
you know, it it's important to have the

1083
00:37:08,489 --> 00:37:10,430
DS connection, but also that

1084
00:37:10,809 --> 00:37:11,309
just

1085
00:37:11,690 --> 00:37:13,309
general connection. Mhmm.

1086
00:37:13,849 --> 00:37:15,070
And I you know,

1087
00:37:15,530 --> 00:37:17,289
does our parks is it a specific part

1088
00:37:17,289 --> 00:37:18,730
of our power exchange? No. But the way

1089
00:37:18,730 --> 00:37:21,449
we live our power exchange life Mhmm. If

1090
00:37:21,449 --> 00:37:23,885
anybody recalls the episode a few weeks ago

1091
00:37:23,885 --> 00:37:26,364
on twenty four seven and total power exchange

1092
00:37:26,364 --> 00:37:28,605
and the differences and the similarities. Right? Part

1093
00:37:28,605 --> 00:37:30,605
of the reason we call ourselves twenty four

1094
00:37:30,605 --> 00:37:31,905
seven is because

1095
00:37:32,204 --> 00:37:34,925
in nearly every interaction, that is definitely a

1096
00:37:34,925 --> 00:37:37,329
daddy domino. This is definitely a baby girl.

1097
00:37:37,329 --> 00:37:39,190
And that's the energy we're bringing.

1098
00:37:40,369 --> 00:37:42,289
Now so what that means is I get

1099
00:37:42,289 --> 00:37:44,449
the fucking zoomies, y'all. There's banter, but I

1100
00:37:44,449 --> 00:37:47,190
am zoomie ing. Okay? Oh, yeah.

1101
00:37:47,570 --> 00:37:49,889
And JB is Those bedtime zoomies are very

1102
00:37:49,889 --> 00:37:50,389
real.

1103
00:37:52,025 --> 00:37:54,425
Yeah. You think that I either, like, had

1104
00:37:54,425 --> 00:37:56,345
an energy drink or took a drug of

1105
00:37:56,345 --> 00:37:57,945
some sort. I don't know what comes over

1106
00:37:57,945 --> 00:37:59,005
me, but there we are.

1107
00:37:59,864 --> 00:38:02,345
And JB uses the the power and control

1108
00:38:02,345 --> 00:38:04,825
and authority that I grant him to calm

1109
00:38:04,825 --> 00:38:07,460
me the fuck down. Right? So

1110
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,639
even if it's not a specific kinky power

1111
00:38:10,639 --> 00:38:12,960
exchange moment, the conversation has nothing to do

1112
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,039
with that. I'm not asking for permission. I'm

1113
00:38:15,039 --> 00:38:17,219
not following a rule. We are just

1114
00:38:17,679 --> 00:38:18,179
existing

1115
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:19,699
with one another.

1116
00:38:20,079 --> 00:38:22,445
The energy is still there. And I think

1117
00:38:22,825 --> 00:38:23,325
sometimes,

1118
00:38:25,625 --> 00:38:27,945
especially if you're going through like we did

1119
00:38:27,945 --> 00:38:30,664
and we got a secondary series we're doing

1120
00:38:30,664 --> 00:38:33,085
this year about reconnecting in our fire exchange.

1121
00:38:34,210 --> 00:38:35,329
You know, when you have to go through

1122
00:38:35,329 --> 00:38:37,489
these sort of droughts of not being able

1123
00:38:37,489 --> 00:38:40,369
to, like, really feel your power change and

1124
00:38:40,369 --> 00:38:42,789
express it deeply and live it deeply,

1125
00:38:43,090 --> 00:38:44,710
the small points of connection

1126
00:38:45,650 --> 00:38:47,410
Are big. Are big. They will keep you

1127
00:38:47,410 --> 00:38:50,224
going. But also, they don't have to again,

1128
00:38:50,224 --> 00:38:51,824
they don't have to look like anything from

1129
00:38:51,824 --> 00:38:53,985
the outside. Do do the do our children

1130
00:38:53,985 --> 00:38:56,144
think we are crazy? Because they have heard

1131
00:38:56,144 --> 00:38:56,965
us laugh

1132
00:38:57,265 --> 00:38:57,765
hysterically

1133
00:38:58,704 --> 00:39:01,585
for many nights over, like, when the 19

1134
00:39:01,585 --> 00:39:03,505
year old was still living at home, 15

1135
00:39:03,505 --> 00:39:05,650
year old yeah. They would probably think, oh

1136
00:39:05,650 --> 00:39:07,429
my god. My mother is

1137
00:39:08,530 --> 00:39:09,030
insane,

1138
00:39:09,650 --> 00:39:11,409
but she's laughing. So okay. Like, I got

1139
00:39:11,409 --> 00:39:13,510
protective kids. So that's sweet too. But,

1140
00:39:14,210 --> 00:39:16,929
you know, we know that we're feeding each

1141
00:39:16,929 --> 00:39:17,429
other's

1142
00:39:17,969 --> 00:39:20,390
daddy dom baby girl energy. Right?

1143
00:39:20,715 --> 00:39:23,295
We know that we're having this intimate moment.

1144
00:39:24,155 --> 00:39:26,235
We're not screaming our conversation. So if it

1145
00:39:26,235 --> 00:39:27,835
does get kinky, nobody can hear that, but

1146
00:39:27,835 --> 00:39:29,675
people can can hear us. I mean, I

1147
00:39:29,835 --> 00:39:31,515
I've we've both gone, oh my god. Oh

1148
00:39:31,515 --> 00:39:32,954
my god. My stomach hurts so bad. Oh

1149
00:39:32,954 --> 00:39:35,059
my god. I can't stop laughing. And then

1150
00:39:35,059 --> 00:39:36,420
I get to do the, oh my god.

1151
00:39:36,420 --> 00:39:38,340
I'm about to PM myself. If you know,

1152
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:39,559
you know on that one.

1153
00:39:41,219 --> 00:39:41,719
And

1154
00:39:42,179 --> 00:39:44,659
so some of those things are going to

1155
00:39:44,659 --> 00:39:47,000
be meaningful to your power exchange

1156
00:39:47,300 --> 00:39:48,920
and not be explicitly

1157
00:39:49,545 --> 00:39:51,704
power exchange y. But Right. If you have

1158
00:39:51,704 --> 00:39:53,304
the type of power exchange with a partner

1159
00:39:53,304 --> 00:39:53,804
where

1160
00:39:54,585 --> 00:39:55,324
the Dom

1161
00:39:55,625 --> 00:39:58,444
has, like, a voice, a tone, and energy.

1162
00:39:58,505 --> 00:40:00,664
Right? And you as this must have have

1163
00:40:00,664 --> 00:40:03,144
a tone of voice and energy that you

1164
00:40:03,144 --> 00:40:03,964
feel comfortable

1165
00:40:04,264 --> 00:40:06,719
and you're, like, being around other people and

1166
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:08,099
maybe speaking that way,

1167
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,960
you can have the most innocent sounding you

1168
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,800
can talk about going to the grocery store

1169
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,239
tomorrow for all I fucking care, but if

1170
00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:15,460
you bring that energy

1171
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:17,925
to that very small conversation that might last

1172
00:40:17,925 --> 00:40:19,925
forty five seconds, you can have this whole

1173
00:40:19,925 --> 00:40:21,605
moment. And nobody knows what the fuck's going

1174
00:40:21,605 --> 00:40:23,364
on other than y'all are crazy people who

1175
00:40:23,364 --> 00:40:24,344
can't stop laughing

1176
00:40:25,045 --> 00:40:26,985
at nothing, and you're having

1177
00:40:27,364 --> 00:40:29,765
a wonderful time. Mhmm. Or maybe you're not

1178
00:40:29,765 --> 00:40:33,329
laughing. Maybe it's this flirtatious thing. Maybe it's

1179
00:40:33,489 --> 00:40:33,989
serious.

1180
00:40:34,690 --> 00:40:35,510
But internally,

1181
00:40:36,050 --> 00:40:37,190
you're each feeling

1182
00:40:38,130 --> 00:40:39,269
your power exchange

1183
00:40:40,610 --> 00:40:43,010
within within that conversation that nobody is, like,

1184
00:40:43,010 --> 00:40:43,829
in on.

1185
00:40:45,410 --> 00:40:48,130
Are there ways to flirt and to bring

1186
00:40:48,130 --> 00:40:48,869
your energy

1187
00:40:49,170 --> 00:40:51,224
where where people can see? Yes. I am

1188
00:40:51,224 --> 00:40:53,224
an awkward human being, and I don't know

1189
00:40:53,224 --> 00:40:55,304
how that works. So, also, I don't like

1190
00:40:55,304 --> 00:40:57,864
to be perceived in public like that. So

1191
00:40:57,864 --> 00:40:59,704
I don't do that. But if you can

1192
00:40:59,704 --> 00:41:00,925
do it and it works,

1193
00:41:01,304 --> 00:41:03,545
I think that's great. But those small points

1194
00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:05,900
of connection, whether they're through physical touch or

1195
00:41:05,900 --> 00:41:07,519
it's energy or it's a conversation

1196
00:41:07,980 --> 00:41:09,440
or it's, you know,

1197
00:41:10,139 --> 00:41:11,980
one that JB has started doing more and

1198
00:41:11,980 --> 00:41:13,819
more. I fucking love it. Oh my god.

1199
00:41:13,819 --> 00:41:15,819
My little baby girl heart cannot we'll be

1200
00:41:15,819 --> 00:41:17,339
walking somewhere and he'll just put his hand

1201
00:41:17,339 --> 00:41:19,398
out. And I know what the fuck that

1202
00:41:19,398 --> 00:41:21,458
means. Follow me. Take my hand. I got

1203
00:41:21,458 --> 00:41:23,519
you. And I'm like, sometimes I'm a little

1204
00:41:23,519 --> 00:41:25,580
too far behind. I gotta run and catch

1205
00:41:25,580 --> 00:41:27,898
up and then look. I'm not being subtle.

1206
00:41:27,898 --> 00:41:29,959
Then I'm very excited. But sometimes I just

1207
00:41:29,959 --> 00:41:32,269
put my hand out. And all we're doing

1208
00:41:32,269 --> 00:41:33,969
is holding hands in public.

1209
00:41:35,550 --> 00:41:37,789
And we understand that we have a privilege

1210
00:41:37,789 --> 00:41:40,030
with that. There's there's not a community out

1211
00:41:40,030 --> 00:41:41,789
there that's gonna look at us weird for

1212
00:41:41,789 --> 00:41:43,489
fucking holding hands in public.

1213
00:41:44,030 --> 00:41:44,530
But,

1214
00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:45,730
you know,

1215
00:41:46,434 --> 00:41:48,454
we can have that and they're

1216
00:41:48,914 --> 00:41:50,755
they don't look like shit other than, oh,

1217
00:41:50,755 --> 00:41:52,855
that guy likes her and they're holding hands.

1218
00:41:52,994 --> 00:41:54,674
No. My dom just said, get your ass

1219
00:41:54,674 --> 00:41:56,275
up here. Let me let me protect you.

1220
00:41:56,275 --> 00:41:58,034
Let me guide you. That's what the fuck

1221
00:41:58,034 --> 00:41:59,969
it meant. But it looks like we're holding

1222
00:41:59,969 --> 00:42:02,690
hands. Yeah. But you know the the the

1223
00:42:02,690 --> 00:42:05,090
point of connection that there's there's so many

1224
00:42:05,090 --> 00:42:06,869
things. You know, every morning

1225
00:42:07,250 --> 00:42:08,150
I get up

1226
00:42:08,929 --> 00:42:10,469
and before we go to bed,

1227
00:42:12,255 --> 00:42:13,934
she sets up my coffee pods. All I

1228
00:42:13,934 --> 00:42:15,214
have to do is push the button, turn

1229
00:42:15,214 --> 00:42:16,815
it on, and and let it do its

1230
00:42:16,815 --> 00:42:17,315
thing.

1231
00:42:17,775 --> 00:42:18,275
So,

1232
00:42:18,734 --> 00:42:21,474
you know, every morning when I get up,

1233
00:42:22,335 --> 00:42:23,394
I'm making coffee,

1234
00:42:23,855 --> 00:42:25,234
but there is that

1235
00:42:26,319 --> 00:42:27,619
connection to you.

1236
00:42:30,159 --> 00:42:31,839
Which is why I nearly cry on the

1237
00:42:31,839 --> 00:42:34,159
rare occasions that somehow gets forgotten by both

1238
00:42:34,159 --> 00:42:35,920
of us. Just sail right on past them.

1239
00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,335
Like, but I didn't do much. But but

1240
00:42:38,335 --> 00:42:40,035
even even beyond that,

1241
00:42:41,855 --> 00:42:42,914
you know, we

1242
00:42:44,015 --> 00:42:46,414
early on, one of the things we used

1243
00:42:46,414 --> 00:42:48,175
to do is we used to go out

1244
00:42:48,175 --> 00:42:48,914
for coffee

1245
00:42:49,215 --> 00:42:51,155
in the evening at least once a week.

1246
00:42:51,339 --> 00:42:52,960
Yeah. Those are the days. Yep.

1247
00:42:53,819 --> 00:42:55,659
You know, we don't do that as often

1248
00:42:55,659 --> 00:42:57,500
anymore. Neither one is drink as much coffee

1249
00:42:57,500 --> 00:42:58,000
and

1250
00:42:58,940 --> 00:43:01,500
other Shit's expensive. And it's expensive as hell

1251
00:43:01,500 --> 00:43:02,000
now.

1252
00:43:02,300 --> 00:43:04,655
But, you know, sometimes what we'll do, we'll

1253
00:43:04,655 --> 00:43:06,255
just get in the car together and drive,

1254
00:43:06,255 --> 00:43:07,855
go to the park, sit in the park.

1255
00:43:07,855 --> 00:43:09,855
We have had many a conversation sitting in

1256
00:43:09,855 --> 00:43:11,454
the car with the car running. Yes. We're

1257
00:43:11,454 --> 00:43:13,295
killing the environment we know, but it's hot.

1258
00:43:13,295 --> 00:43:15,534
It's Florida. Yeah. And we did not get

1259
00:43:15,534 --> 00:43:17,054
out of the vehicle. No. But we just

1260
00:43:17,054 --> 00:43:19,390
had, like, thirty minute, forty five minute conversation.

1261
00:43:19,610 --> 00:43:22,010
Especially during COVID times when things were closed

1262
00:43:22,010 --> 00:43:24,030
or there was a lot of social distancing.

1263
00:43:24,730 --> 00:43:26,570
We wanted to get out away from being

1264
00:43:26,570 --> 00:43:28,570
parents for five seconds, and we would just

1265
00:43:28,570 --> 00:43:30,010
go somewhere and sit in the car and

1266
00:43:30,010 --> 00:43:32,425
talk. Yeah. And and, you know, it it

1267
00:43:32,425 --> 00:43:35,065
seems like a small thing in some ways,

1268
00:43:35,065 --> 00:43:38,364
but, you know, you you understand this.

1269
00:43:38,984 --> 00:43:39,484
We

1270
00:43:40,105 --> 00:43:40,925
are married.

1271
00:43:41,704 --> 00:43:44,210
We have a house together. We have kids.

1272
00:43:45,869 --> 00:43:47,489
Business. And our house is also

1273
00:43:48,269 --> 00:43:49,250
part of our business.

1274
00:43:50,349 --> 00:43:52,849
You know? Yep. So so when we're home,

1275
00:43:53,789 --> 00:43:54,609
per se,

1276
00:43:54,989 --> 00:43:57,224
we are always on. Mhmm.

1277
00:43:58,484 --> 00:44:00,405
So sometimes stepping away from all that and

1278
00:44:00,405 --> 00:44:02,244
getting in the car and just going for

1279
00:44:02,244 --> 00:44:02,824
a drive

1280
00:44:03,364 --> 00:44:05,284
is is such a nice way to kinda

1281
00:44:05,284 --> 00:44:06,025
put that

1282
00:44:06,724 --> 00:44:08,644
to the side and connect them in other

1283
00:44:08,644 --> 00:44:11,079
ways. And sometimes we go to have those

1284
00:44:11,079 --> 00:44:13,639
conversations and they are absolutely about our power

1285
00:44:13,639 --> 00:44:16,199
exchange. They're they're either about the power exchange

1286
00:44:16,199 --> 00:44:19,559
or I'm following rules. I'm asking questions. JB

1287
00:44:19,559 --> 00:44:21,739
is telling me that whatever whatever. Yes. Sometimes.

1288
00:44:22,394 --> 00:44:22,894
But

1289
00:44:23,355 --> 00:44:25,034
sometimes it's I go back to it's the

1290
00:44:25,034 --> 00:44:27,675
energy. He is always daddy. I am always

1291
00:44:27,675 --> 00:44:29,195
baby girl, and that comes out in a

1292
00:44:29,195 --> 00:44:30,335
lot of different ways.

1293
00:44:31,515 --> 00:44:33,375
And so if we can have a relaxed

1294
00:44:33,434 --> 00:44:34,574
conversation, which

1295
00:44:35,349 --> 00:44:37,670
anybody with a hectic life, for whatever reason,

1296
00:44:37,670 --> 00:44:39,349
knows that is not always easy to do

1297
00:44:39,349 --> 00:44:40,869
with a partner. Right? So when we can

1298
00:44:40,869 --> 00:44:43,429
take those moments and just have it just

1299
00:44:43,429 --> 00:44:45,510
be a little quiet, we just spend the

1300
00:44:45,510 --> 00:44:47,769
time together. We'll have we both love

1301
00:44:49,155 --> 00:44:51,255
a comfortable silence. I know by hearing my

1302
00:44:51,474 --> 00:44:53,235
voice, you don't think that's possible, but, actually

1303
00:44:53,315 --> 00:44:55,155
It's very true. I don't need to feel

1304
00:44:55,315 --> 00:44:58,035
fill all silences, just the ones where I've

1305
00:44:58,035 --> 00:45:00,135
got a microphone in front of me. Okay?

1306
00:45:00,914 --> 00:45:02,355
I actually can go a very long time

1307
00:45:02,355 --> 00:45:04,529
without talking. It's kind of weird. Mhmm.

1308
00:45:04,829 --> 00:45:05,329
But,

1309
00:45:05,630 --> 00:45:08,029
so sometimes we're just existing together. Yeah. And

1310
00:45:08,029 --> 00:45:11,170
sometimes we're having conversations about mundane things,

1311
00:45:11,869 --> 00:45:12,369
but

1312
00:45:14,190 --> 00:45:16,750
we will depending on the mood, depending on

1313
00:45:16,750 --> 00:45:17,489
the topic,

1314
00:45:18,394 --> 00:45:20,335
that feeling of I am submissive.

1315
00:45:21,355 --> 00:45:23,275
He is dominant. He is in charge. I'm

1316
00:45:23,275 --> 00:45:25,514
gonna defer to him. That will come through

1317
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,014
in those conversations no matter what they're about.

1318
00:45:28,714 --> 00:45:29,214
And

1319
00:45:29,835 --> 00:45:32,059
if you either don't worry about a tone

1320
00:45:32,059 --> 00:45:34,300
shift or or you're really good at code

1321
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:34,800
switching,

1322
00:45:35,980 --> 00:45:36,719
or just

1323
00:45:37,420 --> 00:45:38,480
saying the words

1324
00:45:38,780 --> 00:45:41,019
mean more than the tone between you and

1325
00:45:41,019 --> 00:45:43,420
a partner, you can do this in public

1326
00:45:43,420 --> 00:45:45,679
if you're talking about mundane things. Right?

1327
00:45:47,394 --> 00:45:49,074
I am finally at an age where I

1328
00:45:49,074 --> 00:45:52,034
don't give a fuck if a stranger looks

1329
00:45:52,034 --> 00:45:53,154
at me funny because I get a little

1330
00:45:53,154 --> 00:45:55,174
giggly while talking to JB in public.

1331
00:45:55,474 --> 00:45:56,994
I'm not gonna go full on have my

1332
00:45:56,994 --> 00:45:58,614
fucking zoomies, like,

1333
00:45:59,074 --> 00:46:01,815
like, full baby girl, like, somebody

1334
00:46:02,550 --> 00:46:04,309
give her a sedative baby girl. I'm not

1335
00:46:04,309 --> 00:46:05,829
I'm not gonna do that in public, but

1336
00:46:05,829 --> 00:46:08,150
I'll giggle. I'll be a little flirty. I'll

1337
00:46:08,150 --> 00:46:10,170
be a little I'll let my voice soften

1338
00:46:11,110 --> 00:46:12,789
as long as I'm not shouting and, like,

1339
00:46:12,789 --> 00:46:15,815
drawing attention. Right? So if you either have

1340
00:46:15,815 --> 00:46:17,755
the comfort level to let your tone

1341
00:46:18,295 --> 00:46:20,454
come out or you can the word you

1342
00:46:20,454 --> 00:46:21,894
can make put the meaning in the words

1343
00:46:21,894 --> 00:46:24,954
and skip the tone, you can have that

1344
00:46:25,174 --> 00:46:25,835
in public.

1345
00:46:26,214 --> 00:46:28,039
You know? You gotta have a little bit

1346
00:46:28,039 --> 00:46:29,820
of a, I don't give a fuck attitude

1347
00:46:30,440 --> 00:46:32,760
because sometimes you'll say things in a way

1348
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:34,840
or with a tone that a stranger's gonna

1349
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,539
be like, what the fuck are they doing?

1350
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,719
Why do you care? You're gonna forget I

1351
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:41,414
exist the moment you leave this fucking building.

1352
00:46:41,414 --> 00:46:43,894
It doesn't matter. Mhmm. That kind of attention,

1353
00:46:43,894 --> 00:46:45,494
I don't think most of us need to

1354
00:46:45,494 --> 00:46:47,494
worry about drawing to ourselves because that is

1355
00:46:47,494 --> 00:46:48,954
just a nosy person

1356
00:46:49,255 --> 00:46:49,755
who

1357
00:46:50,295 --> 00:46:52,934
doesn't know and got an opinion. Whatever. Right.

1358
00:46:53,094 --> 00:46:55,255
Now if we were loudly screaming about our

1359
00:46:55,255 --> 00:46:57,630
next spanking scene in the middle of fucking

1360
00:46:57,769 --> 00:46:58,269
Starbucks,

1361
00:46:58,730 --> 00:47:01,050
that's different. And I personally don't think that's

1362
00:47:01,050 --> 00:47:03,050
a good idea. Please don't do that. But

1363
00:47:03,050 --> 00:47:04,890
if we're talking about the grocery store and

1364
00:47:04,890 --> 00:47:07,230
JB teases me and I get a little,

1365
00:47:07,530 --> 00:47:09,309
like, I get a little silly and giggly,

1366
00:47:10,414 --> 00:47:12,675
Fine. When we're talking about hard things or

1367
00:47:13,214 --> 00:47:15,135
we're having more serious conversation. If I get

1368
00:47:15,135 --> 00:47:17,155
a little pouty, if I get a little,

1369
00:47:17,534 --> 00:47:19,474
I don't know if I'm capable of whining

1370
00:47:19,534 --> 00:47:21,214
in public or I think other people can

1371
00:47:21,214 --> 00:47:23,934
hear me. That's my childhood trauma speaking more

1372
00:47:23,934 --> 00:47:24,594
than anything.

1373
00:47:25,109 --> 00:47:28,329
But you know, again, the energy, if you

1374
00:47:28,549 --> 00:47:30,230
are in tune with and have and go,

1375
00:47:30,230 --> 00:47:32,069
yes, I know what my sickness of energy

1376
00:47:32,069 --> 00:47:33,589
is. I know what my dom energy is.

1377
00:47:33,589 --> 00:47:35,190
I know what that feels like and how

1378
00:47:35,190 --> 00:47:37,849
that comes out verbally and body language.

1379
00:47:39,670 --> 00:47:42,344
Again, unless you are forcing people to their

1380
00:47:42,344 --> 00:47:45,324
knees in front of you in the grocery

1381
00:47:45,625 --> 00:47:47,324
store. Don't do that.

1382
00:47:47,704 --> 00:47:49,885
You can bring that out and have these

1383
00:47:50,265 --> 00:47:51,485
little intimate moments

1384
00:47:52,105 --> 00:47:55,190
and nobody's gonna know. JB always pushes the

1385
00:47:55,190 --> 00:47:56,869
grocery cart. One, I don't think he trusts

1386
00:47:56,869 --> 00:47:58,309
me not to hit his ankles, but that's

1387
00:47:58,309 --> 00:48:01,670
that's smart. That's wise. That's wise. I last

1388
00:48:01,670 --> 00:48:02,710
time I went to the grocery store with

1389
00:48:02,710 --> 00:48:03,449
my mother.

1390
00:48:04,549 --> 00:48:05,369
Got her ankle.

1391
00:48:06,869 --> 00:48:08,925
It's wise, but it's also a control thing.

1392
00:48:08,925 --> 00:48:11,105
Right? And if I'm feeling a little

1393
00:48:11,405 --> 00:48:13,025
playful, I might say something.

1394
00:48:13,965 --> 00:48:16,864
Daddy dom energy comes right the fuck out.

1395
00:48:17,085 --> 00:48:19,005
And he's and all he's doing is telling

1396
00:48:19,005 --> 00:48:20,844
me that he will push the cart. Thank

1397
00:48:20,844 --> 00:48:21,744
you very much.

1398
00:48:22,569 --> 00:48:25,050
Nobody knows what the fuck that means to

1399
00:48:25,050 --> 00:48:27,449
us but us. Right? It's it's those things.

1400
00:48:27,449 --> 00:48:28,510
It's those moments.

1401
00:48:29,050 --> 00:48:31,849
I'm probably beating a dead horse. I've certainly

1402
00:48:31,849 --> 00:48:33,929
made my point, but I have an irrational

1403
00:48:33,929 --> 00:48:37,015
fear of being misunderstood. So that's fine. We're

1404
00:48:37,015 --> 00:48:37,914
not being clear.

1405
00:48:38,695 --> 00:48:40,715
Anything else you would add to that?

1406
00:48:41,175 --> 00:48:42,875
So let's talk real quickly.

1407
00:48:43,175 --> 00:48:44,715
Yes. I'm capable of it.

1408
00:48:45,255 --> 00:48:47,175
Of the benefits of this. Now this will

1409
00:48:47,175 --> 00:48:50,079
not be for everybody. Some people want bedroom

1410
00:48:50,219 --> 00:48:51,199
only, fuckery

1411
00:48:51,500 --> 00:48:52,000
only,

1412
00:48:52,460 --> 00:48:54,460
and or they only want it behind closed

1413
00:48:54,460 --> 00:48:56,300
doors even if it is more subtle or

1414
00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:56,960
it's not

1415
00:48:57,900 --> 00:48:59,659
overtly air quote that because what the fuck

1416
00:48:59,659 --> 00:49:01,820
does this even mean, overtly kinky. Right? Some

1417
00:49:01,820 --> 00:49:03,824
people just want that and that that's fine.

1418
00:49:03,824 --> 00:49:05,585
There's nothing wrong with it. That is legit.

1419
00:49:05,585 --> 00:49:07,664
That's valid. Some people are only gonna show

1420
00:49:07,664 --> 00:49:08,724
that side of themselves

1421
00:49:09,585 --> 00:49:11,984
at a party, at the dungeon. That's that's

1422
00:49:11,984 --> 00:49:13,764
all fine. That is all fine.

1423
00:49:14,545 --> 00:49:15,900
I think about

1424
00:49:16,859 --> 00:49:19,260
the way we are, where if we waited

1425
00:49:19,260 --> 00:49:21,179
so we could have a private moment where

1426
00:49:21,179 --> 00:49:23,339
we could be as loud as we wanted

1427
00:49:23,339 --> 00:49:24,480
behind closed doors,

1428
00:49:25,179 --> 00:49:27,339
y'all, we wouldn't have gotten kinky for the

1429
00:49:27,339 --> 00:49:29,744
past, like, five or six years. I just

1430
00:49:29,984 --> 00:49:31,364
We'd we'd still be waiting.

1431
00:49:33,264 --> 00:49:34,404
And for us,

1432
00:49:34,784 --> 00:49:37,505
our roles are not something we do. They

1433
00:49:37,505 --> 00:49:39,585
are a part of who we are. So

1434
00:49:39,585 --> 00:49:41,284
it feels a little bit

1435
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:43,619
easier to just sort of incorporate

1436
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:47,539
things into our daily life. If that resonates

1437
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:49,840
Yeah. Then this part where we talk about

1438
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:51,860
the benefits and and doing these things, and

1439
00:49:52,079 --> 00:49:53,985
this is for y'all. That that's who we're

1440
00:49:53,985 --> 00:49:55,345
talking to. You do not have to do

1441
00:49:55,345 --> 00:49:56,785
this. If this is not if this is

1442
00:49:56,785 --> 00:49:58,864
not your thing, fucking ignore it and skip

1443
00:49:58,864 --> 00:50:00,625
it. But if you're like, god, we never

1444
00:50:00,785 --> 00:50:01,985
I never feel like my sub self. I

1445
00:50:01,985 --> 00:50:03,744
never feel like my dom self. Or you're

1446
00:50:03,744 --> 00:50:05,184
a switch and you're like, well, I always

1447
00:50:05,184 --> 00:50:07,360
feel like this side. I never get to

1448
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:09,360
feel like that side. This is what these

1449
00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:10,820
kinds of things, these subtle,

1450
00:50:11,519 --> 00:50:12,420
not noticeable

1451
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,440
ways of being in your power extreme self.

1452
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:17,280
That's what this is for. For those times

1453
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,039
when you just you're never gonna get the

1454
00:50:19,039 --> 00:50:19,539
fuckery.

1455
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,284
Not never, but it'll be a hot minute.

1456
00:50:22,284 --> 00:50:24,945
Right? Raising small humans, you know.

1457
00:50:25,485 --> 00:50:25,985
Caregiving

1458
00:50:26,525 --> 00:50:27,824
for older adults,

1459
00:50:28,364 --> 00:50:29,425
you fucking know.

1460
00:50:29,724 --> 00:50:31,264
Yep. Chronic illness,

1461
00:50:31,965 --> 00:50:32,605
injury, like

1462
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:35,849
Any number of things. Anything. Right? I mean,

1463
00:50:35,849 --> 00:50:37,630
we we did not necessarily

1464
00:50:38,089 --> 00:50:39,549
set out to do that

1465
00:50:39,929 --> 00:50:41,230
with any intent,

1466
00:50:42,170 --> 00:50:43,630
but it just kind of

1467
00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:45,929
worked out that way that a lot of

1468
00:50:45,929 --> 00:50:48,885
the the routines and rules that we have

1469
00:50:49,364 --> 00:50:51,385
that even when life does

1470
00:50:52,885 --> 00:50:55,065
rear its ugly head and intervene,

1471
00:50:56,405 --> 00:50:58,824
we can fall back on those routines

1472
00:50:59,284 --> 00:51:01,364
at the very least and keep that much

1473
00:51:01,364 --> 00:51:03,364
going. Right. And what we learn, and we've

1474
00:51:03,364 --> 00:51:04,344
been talking about,

1475
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,300
on and off in 2025,

1476
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:09,940
is that it keeps you going,

1477
00:51:11,119 --> 00:51:12,559
but I don't think it can be a

1478
00:51:12,559 --> 00:51:15,039
forever thing. It could it kept us going

1479
00:51:15,039 --> 00:51:15,539
through

1480
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:16,340
COVID

1481
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:18,954
where then we had children at home all

1482
00:51:18,954 --> 00:51:19,855
day every day.

1483
00:51:20,155 --> 00:51:22,014
It kept us going through some

1484
00:51:23,114 --> 00:51:26,734
stressful financial times. It kept us going through

1485
00:51:27,355 --> 00:51:27,855
caregiving

1486
00:51:28,394 --> 00:51:30,655
for a, a dying family member. It

1487
00:51:30,954 --> 00:51:33,180
it got us through multiple

1488
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:34,219
vehicular

1489
00:51:34,519 --> 00:51:35,019
accidents

1490
00:51:35,559 --> 00:51:37,980
Mhmm. In this family. Yep.

1491
00:51:38,519 --> 00:51:40,440
But it's not to for us, it's not

1492
00:51:40,440 --> 00:51:40,940
sustainable

1493
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,000
for too long. We were

1494
00:51:43,805 --> 00:51:46,684
we got so disconnected from one another from

1495
00:51:46,684 --> 00:51:48,605
shut because the routine went from routine to

1496
00:51:48,605 --> 00:51:49,724
rut. The,

1497
00:51:50,045 --> 00:51:51,965
I call it autopilot, being able to just

1498
00:51:51,965 --> 00:51:54,045
do the things we agreed to do. We

1499
00:51:54,045 --> 00:51:56,045
still were open to negotiating. If something had

1500
00:51:56,045 --> 00:51:56,785
stopped working,

1501
00:51:57,164 --> 00:51:59,429
I could have said to JB, hey. I

1502
00:51:59,429 --> 00:52:00,869
need to renegotiate this. He could have come

1503
00:52:00,869 --> 00:52:02,630
in and gone, hey. Let's renegotiate this. We

1504
00:52:02,630 --> 00:52:04,469
were very comfortable in the things we chose

1505
00:52:04,469 --> 00:52:05,449
partly because

1506
00:52:05,989 --> 00:52:07,429
there was not a lot of effort on

1507
00:52:07,429 --> 00:52:08,969
anybody's part for it.

1508
00:52:09,349 --> 00:52:10,869
We it had we'd done it so long.

1509
00:52:10,869 --> 00:52:12,605
It was just like a thing we

1510
00:52:13,144 --> 00:52:14,505
did, but also it was just a a

1511
00:52:14,505 --> 00:52:15,864
routine part of the day. It just flowed.

1512
00:52:15,864 --> 00:52:17,224
It wasn't an extra thing. There was not

1513
00:52:17,224 --> 00:52:19,065
a lot of friction. It was not like,

1514
00:52:19,065 --> 00:52:20,744
oh, we wanna play with the vlogger and

1515
00:52:20,744 --> 00:52:23,625
this paddle and get the the gag out

1516
00:52:23,625 --> 00:52:25,545
and do and there'll be you'll you'll kneel

1517
00:52:25,545 --> 00:52:27,230
for all of thirty seconds, Kayla. I promise

1518
00:52:27,230 --> 00:52:28,989
I'll get you up afterwards, but let's try

1519
00:52:28,989 --> 00:52:29,650
the rest.

1520
00:52:30,989 --> 00:52:33,010
Those took effort, time, energy,

1521
00:52:33,389 --> 00:52:33,889
and

1522
00:52:34,670 --> 00:52:36,349
feeling like we could be that free. I

1523
00:52:36,349 --> 00:52:38,109
have not screamed through an orgasm in a

1524
00:52:38,109 --> 00:52:39,695
hot ass minute. I look forward to the

1525
00:52:39,695 --> 00:52:41,775
day when I don't worry about who can

1526
00:52:41,775 --> 00:52:42,434
hear me.

1527
00:52:42,894 --> 00:52:44,355
I did moan at an orgasm,

1528
00:52:45,454 --> 00:52:47,534
recently, and then JB went this is before

1529
00:52:47,534 --> 00:52:48,815
we needed the AC all the time. JB

1530
00:52:48,815 --> 00:52:50,594
went, our windows are open.

1531
00:52:52,894 --> 00:52:54,869
Well, I hope the neighbor enjoyed the show.

1532
00:52:55,349 --> 00:52:56,890
I forgot the window was on.

1533
00:52:58,789 --> 00:52:59,289
But

1534
00:53:00,630 --> 00:53:02,789
it I my point is is those things

1535
00:53:02,789 --> 00:53:03,750
are good to be able to go on

1536
00:53:03,750 --> 00:53:06,070
autopilot during stressful times, to have the routine

1537
00:53:06,070 --> 00:53:07,269
to fall back on when you do not

1538
00:53:07,269 --> 00:53:09,190
have the mental energy with each other to

1539
00:53:09,190 --> 00:53:11,094
bring the energy we were just talking about

1540
00:53:11,094 --> 00:53:12,875
for for those points of connection.

1541
00:53:13,735 --> 00:53:15,735
I think they're beneficial. They allow you to

1542
00:53:15,735 --> 00:53:17,735
keep living your power exchange at a time

1543
00:53:17,735 --> 00:53:18,235
when

1544
00:53:18,695 --> 00:53:21,035
so much else has to take precedence. Right?

1545
00:53:21,494 --> 00:53:23,335
But I don't think it's sustainable. We did

1546
00:53:23,335 --> 00:53:26,375
it for about five years essentially and finally

1547
00:53:26,375 --> 00:53:28,349
hit a point where we looked at one

1548
00:53:28,349 --> 00:53:30,210
another and went, okay, we've had

1549
00:53:30,670 --> 00:53:33,389
this much of the stress relieved from us.

1550
00:53:33,630 --> 00:53:35,549
Can we use that energy that we just

1551
00:53:35,549 --> 00:53:37,309
gained back to fit to get back to

1552
00:53:37,309 --> 00:53:39,069
our power exchange stuff? To figure out what

1553
00:53:39,069 --> 00:53:41,565
it looks like now with a college student

1554
00:53:41,565 --> 00:53:43,885
and an older teen and, you know, a

1555
00:53:43,885 --> 00:53:45,485
different kind of business life and, like, all

1556
00:53:45,485 --> 00:53:47,505
these things. Like, let's figure this out. Right?

1557
00:53:48,445 --> 00:53:48,945
So

1558
00:53:49,724 --> 00:53:51,565
the there's the benefit to doing it and

1559
00:53:51,565 --> 00:53:53,505
then there's a downside. You gotta watch yourself.

1560
00:53:53,565 --> 00:53:54,065
But

1561
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:56,420
for the people who have lives that

1562
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:57,219
temporarily

1563
00:53:58,239 --> 00:53:59,920
is more who I'm thinking of because that's

1564
00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:02,079
my experience, where you will not always be

1565
00:54:02,079 --> 00:54:03,039
waking up in the middle of the night

1566
00:54:03,039 --> 00:54:05,300
with a small child. You will not, sadly,

1567
00:54:05,519 --> 00:54:07,599
always be taking care of an older adult

1568
00:54:07,599 --> 00:54:09,684
in your life. It's that is sad, but

1569
00:54:09,684 --> 00:54:11,364
that is also reality that will not be

1570
00:54:11,364 --> 00:54:11,864
forever.

1571
00:54:13,364 --> 00:54:15,684
These things will pass and in the meantime,

1572
00:54:15,684 --> 00:54:17,525
here are some things you can do that

1573
00:54:17,525 --> 00:54:19,525
don't take a little bit of effort in

1574
00:54:19,525 --> 00:54:22,070
the setup and in the teaching yourself to

1575
00:54:22,070 --> 00:54:23,829
do to remember to do these things and

1576
00:54:23,829 --> 00:54:25,110
to build the habit and to build the

1577
00:54:25,110 --> 00:54:26,010
routine for yourself.

1578
00:54:27,510 --> 00:54:29,430
But then they they you don't have to

1579
00:54:29,430 --> 00:54:30,949
think about them as much. Like, you know

1580
00:54:30,949 --> 00:54:32,710
to do them and you just do them.

1581
00:54:32,710 --> 00:54:35,210
That's where I go back to the acknowledgment.

1582
00:54:35,555 --> 00:54:36,675
I can do a whole hell of a

1583
00:54:36,675 --> 00:54:37,735
lot of shit on autopilot.

1584
00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:40,035
I just need JB to to let me

1585
00:54:40,035 --> 00:54:41,335
know that he sees it.

1586
00:54:41,954 --> 00:54:44,855
We years ago. I don't even know when.

1587
00:54:45,795 --> 00:54:47,474
It might still be in the twenty twenties,

1588
00:54:47,474 --> 00:54:49,630
but maybe earlier. You know, we've done the

1589
00:54:49,630 --> 00:54:52,510
the episode on gratitude and acknowledgment. And it's

1590
00:54:52,510 --> 00:54:54,289
important from both sides of the slash.

1591
00:54:54,670 --> 00:54:55,570
I will say,

1592
00:54:56,030 --> 00:54:57,170
if you are

1593
00:54:57,710 --> 00:54:59,469
focusing on power exchange that nobody else is

1594
00:54:59,469 --> 00:55:01,469
gonna notice and it's just meaningful to you

1595
00:55:01,469 --> 00:55:04,224
and it's subtle and it's, you know, under

1596
00:55:04,224 --> 00:55:06,804
the radar kind of thing, acknowledgment and gratitude

1597
00:55:07,344 --> 00:55:10,224
are even more important. Mhmm. Regardless of your

1598
00:55:10,224 --> 00:55:12,885
reason for using this kind of power exchange,

1599
00:55:13,025 --> 00:55:15,265
whether it's to replace the fucker you can't

1600
00:55:15,265 --> 00:55:17,880
get, whether it's to add to because fuckery's

1601
00:55:17,880 --> 00:55:19,719
is hard to do. Whatever your reasons are.

1602
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:21,719
Right? Because it feels right and that's the

1603
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:22,940
kind of power exchange you want.

1604
00:55:24,199 --> 00:55:25,259
Gratitude and acknowledgement

1605
00:55:25,880 --> 00:55:27,179
are a must because

1606
00:55:27,639 --> 00:55:29,579
I speak from the service missive

1607
00:55:30,224 --> 00:55:30,724
perspective

1608
00:55:31,025 --> 00:55:32,945
where I take on too much and then

1609
00:55:32,945 --> 00:55:34,545
resentment builds. And that is the thing I've

1610
00:55:34,545 --> 00:55:37,125
gotta work on. I know. But the the

1611
00:55:37,265 --> 00:55:39,505
quickest way to knock out potential resentment when

1612
00:55:39,505 --> 00:55:40,945
I take on extra because that's what we

1613
00:55:40,945 --> 00:55:42,625
need and and I want to do those

1614
00:55:42,625 --> 00:55:45,125
things. I am agreeing and, you know, consenting

1615
00:55:45,150 --> 00:55:47,409
to those things, is when JV sees it

1616
00:55:48,029 --> 00:55:50,429
and knows and says, not all the time.

1617
00:55:50,429 --> 00:55:52,029
Not like you don't have to gas me

1618
00:55:52,029 --> 00:55:53,409
up every fucking five minutes.

1619
00:55:54,029 --> 00:55:55,469
But, you know, at the end of a

1620
00:55:55,469 --> 00:55:56,849
a long hard week. Now

1621
00:55:57,469 --> 00:55:59,775
do I know how to accept that gratitude

1622
00:56:00,235 --> 00:56:02,875
and those compliments? No? No. That's another thing

1623
00:56:02,875 --> 00:56:04,015
we gotta work on.

1624
00:56:05,275 --> 00:56:07,434
But I they are important to Say thank

1625
00:56:07,434 --> 00:56:08,494
you, baby girl.

1626
00:56:09,275 --> 00:56:10,175
Thank you, darling.

1627
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:12,260
Yeah.

1628
00:56:12,559 --> 00:56:15,380
Yeah. I mean, he'll come recently, it wasn't,

1629
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:18,880
specific to power exchange, I don't think. It

1630
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,239
was just there had been a lot going

1631
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:21,140
on, and

1632
00:56:21,840 --> 00:56:23,519
I just took care of it. Partly, I'm

1633
00:56:23,519 --> 00:56:24,659
the household administrator.

1634
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:26,739
I'm the primary parent,

1635
00:56:27,505 --> 00:56:29,264
and I'm a service sub. So it can

1636
00:56:29,264 --> 00:56:30,945
get fun. JB came up and said, I

1637
00:56:30,945 --> 00:56:32,704
just want you to know, I see all

1638
00:56:32,704 --> 00:56:34,784
this that you're doing. I'm really appreciative. Like,

1639
00:56:34,784 --> 00:56:36,324
he like, he was sincere

1640
00:56:37,105 --> 00:56:39,177
and kind like he is. He's not a

1641
00:56:39,177 --> 00:56:40,849
bitch like me. He was like, just and

1642
00:56:40,849 --> 00:56:42,450
I and I looked at him and went,

1643
00:56:42,450 --> 00:56:44,950
who are you talking why are you saying

1644
00:56:46,289 --> 00:56:48,469
I don't handle it well? I was like,

1645
00:56:48,849 --> 00:56:50,690
I do it because I love y'all. Like,

1646
00:56:50,690 --> 00:56:51,750
I was defensive.

1647
00:56:54,704 --> 00:56:55,605
That's where his dom

1648
00:56:55,905 --> 00:56:57,905
energy has to come out, telling me to

1649
00:56:57,905 --> 00:56:59,905
shut the hell up in the nice way.

1650
00:56:59,905 --> 00:57:00,565
You know?

1651
00:57:03,265 --> 00:57:04,724
So I can tell you that,

1652
00:57:05,344 --> 00:57:07,380
acknowledgement and gratitude are important, but I can

1653
00:57:07,460 --> 00:57:08,900
also tell you that some of us don't

1654
00:57:08,900 --> 00:57:09,719
know how to handle

1655
00:57:10,259 --> 00:57:11,400
that. We're

1656
00:57:11,779 --> 00:57:13,000
not we're not graceful about

1657
00:57:13,779 --> 00:57:14,279
it.

1658
00:57:15,139 --> 00:57:15,639
So,

1659
00:57:16,339 --> 00:57:16,839
unfortunately,

1660
00:57:17,139 --> 00:57:19,139
I we said this earlier. We cannot give

1661
00:57:19,139 --> 00:57:21,175
you a a laundry list of items that

1662
00:57:21,175 --> 00:57:22,295
you can just do. If you do these

1663
00:57:22,295 --> 00:57:23,894
things, you have power exchange that nobody on

1664
00:57:23,894 --> 00:57:24,394
those.

1665
00:57:25,175 --> 00:57:25,815
It is

1666
00:57:26,295 --> 00:57:28,534
remember that whole kink is customizable thing we

1667
00:57:28,534 --> 00:57:30,454
talked about last week? Yeah. This is those

1668
00:57:30,454 --> 00:57:31,815
times. This is where you look at your

1669
00:57:31,815 --> 00:57:33,034
life. You look at your

1670
00:57:33,819 --> 00:57:35,420
on each side. You look at what you

1671
00:57:35,420 --> 00:57:36,859
can do, what you're willing to do, where

1672
00:57:36,859 --> 00:57:38,880
you struggle, where you could use more help,

1673
00:57:38,940 --> 00:57:41,099
where for submissives, where you're willing to give

1674
00:57:41,099 --> 00:57:42,699
up the control of a thing that you're

1675
00:57:42,699 --> 00:57:44,319
struggling over. Look. Look.

1676
00:57:45,579 --> 00:57:46,940
I know I struggle to go to bed

1677
00:57:46,940 --> 00:57:48,000
at a decent time.

1678
00:57:48,525 --> 00:57:50,204
And, yes, as part of our power exchange,

1679
00:57:50,204 --> 00:57:51,565
when JB says it's time to go to

1680
00:57:51,565 --> 00:57:53,184
bed, it's time to go to bed.

1681
00:57:55,164 --> 00:57:56,864
But that was not when I willingly

1682
00:57:57,324 --> 00:57:59,344
gave up. When we were long distance

1683
00:58:00,444 --> 00:58:02,605
Yeah. No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I did not give

1684
00:58:02,605 --> 00:58:04,440
that up. Now, I mean, I wanna go

1685
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:05,559
to bed with him. I wanna get my

1686
00:58:05,559 --> 00:58:08,039
bedtime zoomies. I wanna, like, cuddle with him

1687
00:58:08,039 --> 00:58:10,360
or let my anxiety make me panic about

1688
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:11,260
his eventual,

1689
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,719
you know, no longer being on this earth,

1690
00:58:13,719 --> 00:58:15,239
but he will. We're going out like Thelma

1691
00:58:15,239 --> 00:58:16,005
and Louise. It's

1692
00:58:16,644 --> 00:58:18,565
like, I want the so I don't mind,

1693
00:58:18,565 --> 00:58:19,844
but there was a point in time I

1694
00:58:19,844 --> 00:58:21,545
could not give up that control. Like,

1695
00:58:23,045 --> 00:58:24,085
So there are always some things you know

1696
00:58:24,085 --> 00:58:25,864
you need guidance on and you're not ready

1697
00:58:25,924 --> 00:58:26,424
to

1698
00:58:26,804 --> 00:58:29,364
to accept the help. Like, that's fine. But

1699
00:58:29,364 --> 00:58:31,010
those are the things you look for. What

1700
00:58:31,010 --> 00:58:32,849
are the things that you can subs. What

1701
00:58:32,849 --> 00:58:34,130
are the things you can do for a

1702
00:58:34,130 --> 00:58:35,489
partner? What are the things you can ask

1703
00:58:35,489 --> 00:58:36,929
permission for that you're willing to and they're

1704
00:58:36,929 --> 00:58:38,849
willing to grant permission? And then you do

1705
00:58:38,849 --> 00:58:41,809
some thinking ahead of time. How what code

1706
00:58:41,809 --> 00:58:43,670
word can I use? What how can I

1707
00:58:44,025 --> 00:58:46,284
ask this so you'll know what I'm asking?

1708
00:58:46,424 --> 00:58:47,864
How can I say this to you so

1709
00:58:47,864 --> 00:58:49,385
you'll know I'm telling you to do a

1710
00:58:49,385 --> 00:58:51,704
thing? You're gonna have to get creative if

1711
00:58:51,704 --> 00:58:53,704
it's not immediately coming to you. But those

1712
00:58:53,704 --> 00:58:55,385
are the kinds of things. And then whatever

1713
00:58:55,385 --> 00:58:57,144
you can do behind closed doors that nobody

1714
00:58:57,144 --> 00:58:58,204
can fucking hear,

1715
00:58:59,880 --> 00:59:00,380
Absolutely.

1716
00:59:00,679 --> 00:59:02,139
That's that's the thing.

1717
00:59:03,000 --> 00:59:05,079
Like, that's the little bit of fuckery we

1718
00:59:05,079 --> 00:59:06,940
get that I that keeps us going.

1719
00:59:07,719 --> 00:59:08,219
So

1720
00:59:09,559 --> 00:59:10,839
I'm gonna try not to I'll go you

1721
00:59:10,839 --> 00:59:12,359
one of them. Please don't do that. That's

1722
00:59:12,359 --> 00:59:13,960
that's that's what I have. Do you have

1723
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:16,144
anything you wanna add? I've talked so much.

1724
00:59:16,144 --> 00:59:18,144
My voice is going. I I think you

1725
00:59:18,144 --> 00:59:18,465
you,

1726
00:59:19,824 --> 00:59:21,844
you did a fine job. Thank you, daddy.

1727
00:59:22,144 --> 00:59:24,324
We will do do a bonus section. Yep.

1728
00:59:26,304 --> 00:59:27,284
But I know

1729
00:59:27,585 --> 00:59:28,929
we have to say the thing and do

1730
00:59:28,929 --> 00:59:30,289
the thing and We do have to say

1731
00:59:30,289 --> 00:59:32,289
the whole thing. We do. But we do

1732
00:59:32,289 --> 00:59:33,410
this differently now, so I don't know how

1733
00:59:33,410 --> 00:59:35,429
to do it. Are we ready, baby girl?

1734
00:59:35,730 --> 00:59:36,230
Sure.

1735
00:59:37,410 --> 00:59:39,170
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1736
00:59:39,170 --> 00:59:39,910
next week.

1737
00:59:49,484 --> 00:59:50,704
Did your button work?

1738
00:59:51,244 --> 00:59:52,545
Yeah. Okay. Cool.

1739
00:59:52,844 --> 00:59:54,719
Okay. Natalie, can I talk to the crickets?

1740
00:59:54,719 --> 00:59:56,159
Can you talk to can we talk to

1741
00:59:56,159 --> 00:59:57,280
the crickets? Can we talk to the crickets?

1742
00:59:57,280 --> 00:59:58,719
Sure. We can talk to the crickets. Okay.

1743
00:59:58,719 --> 01:00:00,500
Which thing do you wanna complain about first?

1744
01:00:03,039 --> 01:00:05,599
We're keeping our senses of humor over here.

1745
01:00:05,599 --> 01:00:07,940
Come on a journey. Oh my god.

1746
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:10,099
Oh my god. Come on a journey.

1747
01:00:11,945 --> 01:00:12,765
So yesterday,

1748
01:00:14,184 --> 01:00:15,704
I I noticed that,

1749
01:00:16,585 --> 01:00:18,744
some spots in the lawn was getting very

1750
01:00:18,744 --> 01:00:21,644
brown and dry. We're we're in that season

1751
01:00:21,704 --> 01:00:22,765
where we're preheating.

1752
01:00:23,785 --> 01:00:25,859
Mhmm. And and for Florida, we do not

1753
01:00:25,859 --> 01:00:28,420
get April showers. No. From from this point,

1754
01:00:28,420 --> 01:00:30,599
we don't get showers really until June

1755
01:00:31,139 --> 01:00:32,760
when the rainy season starts.

1756
01:00:33,299 --> 01:00:35,619
So anyway, I I dove in to kinda

1757
01:00:35,619 --> 01:00:37,219
try and figure out what was going on

1758
01:00:37,219 --> 01:00:39,159
with the with that particular zone.

1759
01:00:39,755 --> 01:00:41,275
And and I found the problem. One of

1760
01:00:41,275 --> 01:00:42,735
the the sprinkler heads

1761
01:00:43,275 --> 01:00:45,755
had dry rotted with age. And it wasn't

1762
01:00:45,755 --> 01:00:47,114
even that old. And it wasn't even that

1763
01:00:47,114 --> 01:00:49,434
old. We replaced that particular one five years

1764
01:00:49,434 --> 01:00:49,934
ago.

1765
01:00:53,195 --> 01:00:53,695
So

1766
01:00:54,650 --> 01:00:56,010
I told you I need to run to

1767
01:00:56,010 --> 01:00:57,789
the hardware store and get

1768
01:00:58,489 --> 01:01:00,010
get a part to fix that, and get

1769
01:01:00,010 --> 01:01:00,510
that,

1770
01:01:01,289 --> 01:01:03,930
you know, fixed up. So I hop in

1771
01:01:03,930 --> 01:01:04,510
the car,

1772
01:01:04,969 --> 01:01:07,210
and I head down the road. And I'm

1773
01:01:07,210 --> 01:01:08,030
about halfway

1774
01:01:09,974 --> 01:01:11,434
to the hardware store,

1775
01:01:12,775 --> 01:01:15,434
and cars started acting very very funny,

1776
01:01:15,815 --> 01:01:17,974
and not in ways that cars should act.

1777
01:01:17,974 --> 01:01:19,114
Right. And they're normal.

1778
01:01:19,815 --> 01:01:21,674
So I was like, okay,

1779
01:01:22,454 --> 01:01:24,135
I hope I can just at least get

1780
01:01:24,135 --> 01:01:24,714
to the

1781
01:01:25,430 --> 01:01:26,329
parking lot.

1782
01:01:26,950 --> 01:01:28,329
Get to the parking lot,

1783
01:01:29,829 --> 01:01:31,670
pull over for a minute, and I'm trying

1784
01:01:31,670 --> 01:01:33,450
to figure out what to do.

1785
01:01:35,190 --> 01:01:37,690
And then check engine light comes on.

1786
01:01:41,085 --> 01:01:42,385
So I had two choices.

1787
01:01:44,045 --> 01:01:45,105
Call tow truck

1788
01:01:46,605 --> 01:01:48,304
or take chance to get it closer

1789
01:01:48,605 --> 01:01:50,364
At least get it closer. Closer to the

1790
01:01:50,364 --> 01:01:52,545
shop. And I I I, you know,

1791
01:01:52,844 --> 01:01:55,085
took into consideration how a car was running

1792
01:01:55,085 --> 01:01:55,744
and and

1793
01:01:56,079 --> 01:01:56,579
whatnot.

1794
01:01:57,359 --> 01:01:59,219
And I was like, I can do it.

1795
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,859
And I did. I got the car there,

1796
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:04,179
dropped it off, and,

1797
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:08,559
they're so packed, it's going to be several

1798
01:02:08,559 --> 01:02:09,967
days Before they can even look at it.

1799
01:02:10,063 --> 01:02:11,655
Before they can even look at it.

1800
01:02:12,534 --> 01:02:14,534
Yeah. Because everybody's like us. We're keeping our

1801
01:02:14,534 --> 01:02:16,215
damn car, so we're not spending way too

1802
01:02:16,215 --> 01:02:18,235
much fucking money on Yeah.

1803
01:02:18,855 --> 01:02:19,355
So

1804
01:02:20,775 --> 01:02:22,394
then I had to get an Uber home.

1805
01:02:23,015 --> 01:02:25,860
Had we have done Ubers before. Mhmm. When

1806
01:02:25,940 --> 01:02:27,460
we went to London A Million Years ago.

1807
01:02:27,460 --> 01:02:29,700
Oh, yeah. Outside of that, had you ever

1808
01:02:29,700 --> 01:02:32,280
done No. Not on not on my own.

1809
01:02:32,820 --> 01:02:33,559
Me neither.

1810
01:02:34,260 --> 01:02:35,940
Me neither. I still haven't done it on

1811
01:02:35,940 --> 01:02:38,280
my own. The Lyft we got this morning

1812
01:02:38,340 --> 01:02:40,724
to go pick up the, rental car.

1813
01:02:41,285 --> 01:02:41,785
Yeah.

1814
01:02:42,164 --> 01:02:43,625
We were together. Yeah.

1815
01:02:44,005 --> 01:02:44,485
So,

1816
01:02:44,885 --> 01:02:46,664
yeah. That so the car

1817
01:02:46,965 --> 01:02:47,945
is in the shop,

1818
01:02:49,125 --> 01:02:51,525
undetermined what is wrong with it as of

1819
01:02:51,525 --> 01:02:52,265
yet, and

1820
01:02:53,519 --> 01:02:54,019
what

1821
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,800
we will, you know So there's don't know

1822
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:58,800
what's wrong with it. Right. The let's back

1823
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,500
up. Don't know when it'll get looked at.

1824
01:03:00,559 --> 01:03:02,400
Don't know what's wrong with it. Mhmm. Don't

1825
01:03:02,400 --> 01:03:02,900
know

1826
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:03,780
what

1827
01:03:04,159 --> 01:03:06,485
the wrong will cost to fix

1828
01:03:06,945 --> 01:03:08,485
and how long it will

1829
01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:09,285
take.

1830
01:03:09,585 --> 01:03:10,485
And and

1831
01:03:10,785 --> 01:03:12,325
it's our only vehicle,

1832
01:03:13,505 --> 01:03:16,065
that, like, around town. Does JB have his

1833
01:03:16,065 --> 01:03:18,085
Can Am? Yes. Am I

1834
01:03:18,545 --> 01:03:20,545
mentally prepared to ride on the back of

1835
01:03:20,545 --> 01:03:23,339
it? No. Can we strap the 15 year

1836
01:03:23,339 --> 01:03:24,940
old behind me and all three of us

1837
01:03:24,940 --> 01:03:27,920
go down like, you know, Greenacres or whatever?

1838
01:03:27,980 --> 01:03:29,039
No. So

1839
01:03:30,699 --> 01:03:31,199
so,

1840
01:03:31,739 --> 01:03:33,760
yeah. It's an unknown. Mhmm. So,

1841
01:03:34,855 --> 01:03:37,275
And yeah. So yeah. So, you know, then

1842
01:03:37,574 --> 01:03:39,255
we had to think, okay. Well, we've got

1843
01:03:39,255 --> 01:03:41,094
stuff going on. There's things you have to

1844
01:03:41,094 --> 01:03:41,594
do

1845
01:03:42,375 --> 01:03:43,594
at the end of the week.

1846
01:03:44,295 --> 01:03:46,695
So we ended up we we rented a

1847
01:03:46,695 --> 01:03:47,914
car for a few days.

1848
01:03:48,934 --> 01:03:50,840
And I think part of the reason it

1849
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:53,240
was a fairly reasonable cost because we Mhmm.

1850
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:54,840
Picked it up Wednesday. We'll drop it off

1851
01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:55,340
Saturday.

1852
01:03:55,640 --> 01:03:57,320
Mhmm. We have to get all of our

1853
01:03:57,320 --> 01:03:59,559
errands done before 9AM on Saturday Yep. Because

1854
01:03:59,559 --> 01:04:00,920
we're gonna go without a car for the

1855
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:03,000
weekend. Mhmm. Reason being, it tends to be

1856
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:03,739
more expensive

1857
01:04:04,505 --> 01:04:06,344
to rent on the weekend. So we got

1858
01:04:06,344 --> 01:04:09,164
a very reasonable price from budget. Mhmm.

1859
01:04:09,785 --> 01:04:11,244
Y'all know our price shop.

1860
01:04:11,704 --> 01:04:14,664
Best price. Yeah. We then I used to

1861
01:04:14,664 --> 01:04:16,505
be nervous about this because I'm I'm one

1862
01:04:16,505 --> 01:04:18,344
of those, but anything can happen in life,

1863
01:04:18,344 --> 01:04:20,010
and I don't wanna be fucked over. But

1864
01:04:20,010 --> 01:04:20,670
did I

1865
01:04:21,050 --> 01:04:22,590
pay in advance

1866
01:04:23,369 --> 01:04:24,809
for, like, a $25

1867
01:04:24,809 --> 01:04:27,690
discount? Yeah. The fuck I did. And me

1868
01:04:27,690 --> 01:04:29,449
who yeah. I know. I'm submissive. I have

1869
01:04:29,449 --> 01:04:32,250
control issues because it's an anxiety thing. Did

1870
01:04:32,250 --> 01:04:33,390
I, with JB's

1871
01:04:34,755 --> 01:04:35,255
agreement,

1872
01:04:35,635 --> 01:04:38,594
choose the mystery car option where they tell

1873
01:04:38,594 --> 01:04:41,074
you what you can expect from the vehicle?

1874
01:04:41,074 --> 01:04:43,074
It'll have four doors. It'll hold this maybe

1875
01:04:43,154 --> 01:04:44,674
Maybe it won't ever be in your favor.

1876
01:04:44,674 --> 01:04:46,514
But what kind you get? You don't know.

1877
01:04:46,514 --> 01:04:47,734
But it was the cheapest.

1878
01:04:48,194 --> 01:04:49,679
A hundred and $15

1879
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:51,380
for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

1880
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,579
till 9AM Saturday? Okay. Okay.

1881
01:04:55,199 --> 01:04:57,079
Now was it a hundred and 35 by

1882
01:04:57,079 --> 01:04:58,719
the time you added on taxes and shit?

1883
01:04:58,719 --> 01:05:00,239
Yes. But But still. Still, it was a

1884
01:05:00,239 --> 01:05:01,059
really good price

1885
01:05:01,679 --> 01:05:02,179
comparatively.

1886
01:05:02,480 --> 01:05:02,980
So

1887
01:05:04,065 --> 01:05:05,284
then I was like,

1888
01:05:06,304 --> 01:05:08,545
I've never heard I mean, we've used Uber,

1889
01:05:08,545 --> 01:05:09,984
like, when we've gone to London or whatever

1890
01:05:09,984 --> 01:05:11,445
because the the

1891
01:05:12,065 --> 01:05:14,405
where are they? The the taxis or whatever

1892
01:05:14,864 --> 01:05:16,385
used to be this is a million years

1893
01:05:16,385 --> 01:05:17,890
ago. Used to be much more expensive, so

1894
01:05:17,890 --> 01:05:19,409
Uber was the cheap option. Yeah. But I

1895
01:05:19,409 --> 01:05:20,710
had not heard a lot

1896
01:05:21,090 --> 01:05:22,849
good about Uber in the years since. So

1897
01:05:22,849 --> 01:05:25,010
I'm like, let's check out Lyft. And then

1898
01:05:25,010 --> 01:05:27,170
I we did a price comparison there. Mhmm.

1899
01:05:27,170 --> 01:05:30,324
Lyft was $10 cheaper, you said. Yeah. Yeah.

1900
01:05:30,324 --> 01:05:32,085
Yeah. And on a couple types of rides,

1901
01:05:32,085 --> 01:05:34,324
it would have been, like, $30 cheaper. Not

1902
01:05:34,324 --> 01:05:35,765
that we would have selected that ride, but

1903
01:05:35,765 --> 01:05:37,844
you know what I mean? Yeah. So Mhmm.

1904
01:05:37,844 --> 01:05:39,844
Yeah. Didn't did my first ever Lyft. I'd

1905
01:05:39,844 --> 01:05:40,985
only ever done Uber.

1906
01:05:42,179 --> 01:05:42,679
Grateful

1907
01:05:43,619 --> 01:05:45,300
for the human who picked us up. Mhmm.

1908
01:05:45,300 --> 01:05:48,179
Clean car. Yep. Didn't scare me as a

1909
01:05:48,179 --> 01:05:51,380
driver. Nope. And beyond greeting us when we

1910
01:05:51,380 --> 01:05:53,940
got in the car, left us the fuck

1911
01:05:53,940 --> 01:05:56,855
alone. Yeah. I was like, awesome. Mhmm.

1912
01:05:57,795 --> 01:05:59,795
So yeah. Yeah. That that was but there

1913
01:05:59,795 --> 01:06:02,195
was before, we have not settled it. And

1914
01:06:02,195 --> 01:06:04,434
I'm not going into details because that part

1915
01:06:04,434 --> 01:06:06,375
is, like, still, like, private stuff boundaries.

1916
01:06:06,755 --> 01:06:08,355
But, Jimmy, you're supposed to have a a

1917
01:06:08,355 --> 01:06:10,250
procedure done Yes. Doctor's

1918
01:06:10,630 --> 01:06:12,469
office. An important one. We can we don't

1919
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:14,570
need we should not skip this one. Mhmm.

1920
01:06:15,030 --> 01:06:17,190
We should not skip this one. They call

1921
01:06:17,190 --> 01:06:18,170
and go, hey.

1922
01:06:18,710 --> 01:06:21,030
Great news. Your insurance Insurance approved it. Approved

1923
01:06:21,030 --> 01:06:21,849
it. But

1924
01:06:23,114 --> 01:06:24,175
your co pay

1925
01:06:24,474 --> 01:06:26,715
is blah blah blah, and I about fell

1926
01:06:26,715 --> 01:06:28,474
on the floor. And then and and that

1927
01:06:28,474 --> 01:06:30,474
will not be the only test he's supposed

1928
01:06:30,474 --> 01:06:33,035
to have No. The procedure or whatever within

1929
01:06:33,035 --> 01:06:35,114
the same month, within the same, I think,

1930
01:06:35,114 --> 01:06:36,530
week. I think the other one's a a

1931
01:06:36,530 --> 01:06:38,609
couple days after, and we hadn't heard about

1932
01:06:38,609 --> 01:06:40,550
the cost of that one yet. Nope.

1933
01:06:41,089 --> 01:06:42,550
Yeah. This is

1934
01:06:44,369 --> 01:06:44,869
while

1935
01:06:45,250 --> 01:06:46,929
now we have the mystery car and depending

1936
01:06:47,010 --> 01:06:48,289
or not mystery car. We have the mystery

1937
01:06:48,289 --> 01:06:49,730
problem with the car. We don't know the

1938
01:06:49,730 --> 01:06:52,355
time or the cost. So we don't know

1939
01:06:52,414 --> 01:06:53,695
how long we're gonna need to rent a

1940
01:06:53,695 --> 01:06:55,295
car or how often we're gonna need to

1941
01:06:55,295 --> 01:06:56,114
rent a car.

1942
01:06:56,494 --> 01:06:57,235
That's fine.

1943
01:06:58,094 --> 01:07:00,414
And I was reminded because we we try

1944
01:07:00,414 --> 01:07:02,275
not to use credit cards too much because

1945
01:07:02,574 --> 01:07:04,835
part of our financial problems were because

1946
01:07:05,219 --> 01:07:07,059
somebody take our credit card. And we have

1947
01:07:07,059 --> 01:07:08,980
learned that we do better. You learn better.

1948
01:07:08,980 --> 01:07:11,639
You do better. Okay. But what I've mistakes.

1949
01:07:11,699 --> 01:07:12,920
What I've forgot,

1950
01:07:13,219 --> 01:07:14,579
because it's been years since I had to

1951
01:07:14,579 --> 01:07:16,260
think about it, is if you pay for

1952
01:07:16,260 --> 01:07:16,760
your

1953
01:07:18,914 --> 01:07:20,535
rental with a debit card,

1954
01:07:20,994 --> 01:07:22,914
they take a fucking deposit. And I'm like,

1955
01:07:22,914 --> 01:07:25,235
wait. Wait. It's it's a bank account. It's

1956
01:07:25,235 --> 01:07:26,675
a debit card. If I'm not using a

1957
01:07:26,675 --> 01:07:29,155
credit card, you it's probably easy to assume

1958
01:07:29,155 --> 01:07:30,835
that I got some cash in the bank,

1959
01:07:30,835 --> 01:07:31,171
but you can't have all my cash. So

1960
01:07:31,171 --> 01:07:36,329
you took my payment, and you're holding $250.

1961
01:07:36,329 --> 01:07:37,289
I was like, I guess I need to

1962
01:07:37,289 --> 01:07:38,569
get the credit card back out for this

1963
01:07:38,569 --> 01:07:40,089
next one because I don't want them holding

1964
01:07:40,089 --> 01:07:41,309
$250

1965
01:07:41,530 --> 01:07:42,589
every fucking week.

1966
01:07:43,369 --> 01:07:43,869
Anyway,

1967
01:07:44,329 --> 01:07:44,829
so

1968
01:07:45,609 --> 01:07:46,349
I have,

1969
01:07:47,164 --> 01:07:47,905
a procedure

1970
01:07:48,925 --> 01:07:51,644
Friday Yeah. That I cannot miss. That is

1971
01:07:51,644 --> 01:07:54,284
not one. I might have to reschedule because

1972
01:07:54,284 --> 01:07:55,105
the other place

1973
01:07:55,565 --> 01:07:57,644
is being weird about getting my records to

1974
01:07:57,644 --> 01:07:59,164
me so I can give them to this

1975
01:07:59,164 --> 01:07:59,664
place.

1976
01:08:00,125 --> 01:08:01,949
We don't know how much that one's gonna

1977
01:08:01,949 --> 01:08:03,789
cost, and I have not been brave enough

1978
01:08:03,789 --> 01:08:05,869
to go look at my benefits thing for

1979
01:08:05,869 --> 01:08:07,949
our insurance and see what the company is.

1980
01:08:07,949 --> 01:08:08,849
I'm like, no.

1981
01:08:09,230 --> 01:08:10,670
Just let them bill me, and then I'll

1982
01:08:10,670 --> 01:08:12,030
call and go, can I have a payment

1983
01:08:12,030 --> 01:08:13,090
plan? Alright.

1984
01:08:13,550 --> 01:08:14,050
Yeah.

1985
01:08:15,150 --> 01:08:15,650
Yeah.

1986
01:08:16,015 --> 01:08:18,255
Yeah. So But you know what? You know

1987
01:08:18,255 --> 01:08:20,255
what? We are keeping our good humor about

1988
01:08:20,255 --> 01:08:20,994
it. We are.

1989
01:08:21,454 --> 01:08:22,755
Everything is figureoutable.

1990
01:08:23,215 --> 01:08:25,614
Mhmm. Not everything is easy, but everything is

1991
01:08:25,614 --> 01:08:26,114
figureoutable.

1992
01:08:26,895 --> 01:08:28,539
So we will figure it out, and we

1993
01:08:28,539 --> 01:08:29,679
will keep our humor.

1994
01:08:30,140 --> 01:08:31,899
You know what? If this had happened six

1995
01:08:31,899 --> 01:08:33,979
months ago, I think JB would be curled

1996
01:08:33,979 --> 01:08:35,819
up on the floor rocking in the fetal

1997
01:08:35,819 --> 01:08:36,319
position.

1998
01:08:36,779 --> 01:08:38,300
I don't think his mental health could have

1999
01:08:38,300 --> 01:08:39,039
handled it.

2000
01:08:41,260 --> 01:08:41,760
I

2001
01:08:42,484 --> 01:08:43,545
would've just run

2002
01:08:44,085 --> 01:08:45,925
screaming into the dark night. I don't know.

2003
01:08:45,925 --> 01:08:48,244
I just but we're here now, and we're

2004
01:08:49,125 --> 01:08:49,625
Mhmm.

2005
01:08:50,324 --> 01:08:51,224
Yeah. We're

2006
01:08:52,724 --> 01:08:54,885
It is what it is. That's true. And

2007
01:08:54,885 --> 01:08:57,130
we're not, like, freaking out. Nope.

2008
01:08:57,430 --> 01:08:59,109
I mean, we will once we they start

2009
01:08:59,109 --> 01:09:00,409
talking real numbers. Oh,

2010
01:09:01,030 --> 01:09:03,510
yeah. Because, you know, hopefully, it's a Or

2011
01:09:03,510 --> 01:09:05,210
or the your numbers and my numbers

2012
01:09:05,590 --> 01:09:06,810
come together and

2013
01:09:07,270 --> 01:09:07,770
yeah.

2014
01:09:09,030 --> 01:09:10,729
Yeah. Yeah. But,

2015
01:09:11,685 --> 01:09:12,284
you know, we're

2016
01:09:12,725 --> 01:09:13,864
yeah. But

2017
01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:16,664
so we got the rental car

2018
01:09:17,045 --> 01:09:18,104
specifically today.

2019
01:09:18,484 --> 01:09:21,045
Mhmm. Because tonight, day of recording for anybody

2020
01:09:21,045 --> 01:09:22,585
listening later watching later,

2021
01:09:24,289 --> 01:09:27,109
the 19 year old has his final performance

2022
01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:29,610
of his sophomore year of college. What Yeah.

2023
01:09:29,810 --> 01:09:32,529
What the actual fuck it's the last today,

2024
01:09:32,529 --> 01:09:33,810
the twenty third is the last day of

2025
01:09:33,810 --> 01:09:34,310
classes.

2026
01:09:34,850 --> 01:09:36,824
Tonight will be literally the last thing he

2027
01:09:36,824 --> 01:09:39,145
has to do, like, to earn a grade

2028
01:09:39,145 --> 01:09:40,904
except for finals week. And I think he

2029
01:09:40,904 --> 01:09:42,984
only has, like, one thing he has to

2030
01:09:42,984 --> 01:09:44,585
do for that. It's an important thing. It's

2031
01:09:44,585 --> 01:09:46,664
a are you allowed to to keep being

2032
01:09:46,664 --> 01:09:47,324
a major

2033
01:09:47,784 --> 01:09:49,225
to have this as your major thing? He

2034
01:09:49,225 --> 01:09:51,270
has to he has to do well. It's

2035
01:09:51,270 --> 01:09:52,729
stressful and important. But

2036
01:09:53,430 --> 01:09:54,869
yeah. Somehow they're at the end of the

2037
01:09:54,869 --> 01:09:57,130
fucking college school year. Mhmm.

2038
01:09:57,750 --> 01:09:58,250
Yeah.

2039
01:09:58,630 --> 01:09:59,530
So yeah.

2040
01:09:59,909 --> 01:10:01,449
Oh, and our mystery car?

2041
01:10:03,189 --> 01:10:05,204
I I don't know if it was pre

2042
01:10:05,364 --> 01:10:05,864
determined

2043
01:10:06,405 --> 01:10:08,725
or the guy at budget have the choice

2044
01:10:08,725 --> 01:10:10,824
of, like, a couple and chose this.

2045
01:10:13,125 --> 01:10:14,645
He looked at us and we look ex

2046
01:10:14,725 --> 01:10:16,984
if you can see us, we look exactly

2047
01:10:17,045 --> 01:10:18,664
how we look in front of this camera.

2048
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:20,239
My hair is back in a ponytail. You

2049
01:10:20,239 --> 01:10:22,159
can see all my white hair, very little

2050
01:10:22,159 --> 01:10:24,320
of the three strands of brown hair I

2051
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:25,619
have left. JB,

2052
01:10:26,239 --> 01:10:28,000
to me, does not look old, but he

2053
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,320
is older. Right? Like, we are older. I'm

2054
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:31,940
not gonna pretend otherwise.

2055
01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:34,954
And this guy at this counter looked at

2056
01:10:34,954 --> 01:10:37,074
us and went, you know what? That red

2057
01:10:37,074 --> 01:10:39,895
Honda Civic out there Cherry red.

2058
01:10:40,274 --> 01:10:41,015
With the or

2059
01:10:41,395 --> 01:10:42,935
I don't know if they're matte black

2060
01:10:43,395 --> 01:10:45,735
or or they're shiny black, but the black

2061
01:10:46,354 --> 01:10:46,854
rims

2062
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:49,380
tires,

2063
01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:51,300
that's the car for them.

2064
01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:54,960
I mean, it's it's a nice sporty little

2065
01:10:54,960 --> 01:10:55,460
car.

2066
01:10:56,479 --> 01:10:58,960
It is lower to the ground than our

2067
01:10:58,960 --> 01:10:59,460
Corolla.

2068
01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:01,300
Yeah. But it's nicer.

2069
01:11:02,145 --> 01:11:05,265
Comfortable. Drive rides nice. Drives nice. Yeah. But

2070
01:11:05,265 --> 01:11:06,864
I was like, what what about us in

2071
01:11:06,864 --> 01:11:08,405
the spot? I mean, maybe it was predetermined.

2072
01:11:08,545 --> 01:11:11,364
It's fine. But, also, if you had choices.

2073
01:11:12,465 --> 01:11:12,965
Really?

2074
01:11:13,265 --> 01:11:15,500
This this this bright red Honda Civic?

2075
01:11:16,359 --> 01:11:19,479
Well, you know what? Okay. Okay. You know,

2076
01:11:19,479 --> 01:11:20,300
next door.

2077
01:11:22,039 --> 01:11:22,439
She's

2078
01:11:24,439 --> 01:11:26,760
I believe she's older than me. Oh, yeah.

2079
01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:28,219
She looks it. I mean And

2080
01:11:29,255 --> 01:11:31,175
she drives a Civic. Yeah. But it don't

2081
01:11:31,175 --> 01:11:33,095
look like that. No. It doesn't. This thing's

2082
01:11:33,095 --> 01:11:35,335
on the outside, like, the the detailing is

2083
01:11:35,335 --> 01:11:36,954
black, and everything else is red.

2084
01:11:37,494 --> 01:11:38,715
Like, it's a sporty

2085
01:11:39,095 --> 01:11:40,935
Civic. Yeah. It is. It is. It's a

2086
01:11:41,175 --> 01:11:43,175
like, I could see the 19 year old

2087
01:11:43,175 --> 01:11:45,380
driving this thing. Yeah. Yeah. I could see

2088
01:11:45,380 --> 01:11:48,179
a 22 year old driving this thing. Mhmm.

2089
01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:49,939
I could see somebody who wishes they were

2090
01:11:49,939 --> 01:11:51,880
still 22 driving this thing.

2091
01:11:54,020 --> 01:11:56,340
Watching poor JB have to basically roll out

2092
01:11:56,340 --> 01:11:57,619
of the fucking thing because it's so much

2093
01:11:57,699 --> 01:11:59,300
it's lower to the ground even than the

2094
01:11:59,300 --> 01:11:59,800
Corolla.

2095
01:12:01,284 --> 01:12:02,725
Yeah. It's moments like that. I miss the

2096
01:12:02,725 --> 01:12:03,225
RAV.

2097
01:12:05,604 --> 01:12:06,824
Look. And I

2098
01:12:08,164 --> 01:12:09,845
I know I'm a snob about this. I'm

2099
01:12:09,845 --> 01:12:11,465
not a fan of minivans.

2100
01:12:12,085 --> 01:12:14,239
Nope. Nothing about it has ever appealed to

2101
01:12:14,239 --> 01:12:14,739
me.

2102
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:18,319
I was fortunate to have indoor cats for

2103
01:12:18,319 --> 01:12:18,819
children.

2104
01:12:19,359 --> 01:12:21,199
The biggest thing I ever had to haul

2105
01:12:21,199 --> 01:12:23,439
for anybody was a musical instrument and I

2106
01:12:23,439 --> 01:12:24,720
never had to do it at the same

2107
01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:28,095
time. No interest in or love for minivans.

2108
01:12:29,354 --> 01:12:30,814
And that was my fear

2109
01:12:31,114 --> 01:12:32,635
that they would hand us keys to a

2110
01:12:32,635 --> 01:12:33,994
minivan again because we've had to rent a

2111
01:12:33,994 --> 01:12:35,135
minivan before. Yeah.

2112
01:12:36,074 --> 01:12:36,574
And

2113
01:12:37,274 --> 01:12:38,494
I hate to say,

2114
01:12:40,074 --> 01:12:41,994
as cute and sporty I love a sporty

2115
01:12:41,994 --> 01:12:44,229
car. As cute and sporty as Civic is

2116
01:12:44,329 --> 01:12:45,650
I kinda wishing they looked at us and

2117
01:12:45,650 --> 01:12:46,949
went, these people need a minivan.

2118
01:12:48,610 --> 01:12:49,750
Or at least an SUV.

2119
01:12:53,090 --> 01:12:56,050
So But yeah. I mean, maybe maybe I

2120
01:12:56,050 --> 01:12:59,145
mean, there was never a discernible expression of

2121
01:12:59,145 --> 01:13:01,485
emotion on this person's face, the counter.

2122
01:13:01,864 --> 01:13:04,185
I would tell you he looked bored Yeah.

2123
01:13:04,265 --> 01:13:06,185
At 09:00 in the morning already at the

2124
01:13:06,185 --> 01:13:07,784
budget. I mean, that's it's gonna be a

2125
01:13:07,784 --> 01:13:09,244
long day if you're already bored.

2126
01:13:11,140 --> 01:13:12,840
So I don't know. But I just

2127
01:13:13,140 --> 01:13:14,979
there's a part of me that's tickled that

2128
01:13:14,979 --> 01:13:16,340
he probably looked at us and went, these

2129
01:13:16,340 --> 01:13:18,359
people need some fun in their lives, clearly.

2130
01:13:18,420 --> 01:13:18,920
Right.

2131
01:13:19,380 --> 01:13:20,840
They look old and boring.

2132
01:13:21,140 --> 01:13:22,840
Here is a bright red car.

2133
01:13:25,005 --> 01:13:27,425
That's very sporty. Oh, boy.

2134
01:13:27,805 --> 01:13:29,085
I mean, we we know how to have

2135
01:13:29,085 --> 01:13:30,444
fun. We just don't do it in front

2136
01:13:30,444 --> 01:13:31,344
of y'all. I mean,

2137
01:13:32,204 --> 01:13:34,125
I'll take looking like a boring old lady

2138
01:13:34,125 --> 01:13:36,045
from my fuckery behind closed doors. I don't

2139
01:13:36,045 --> 01:13:37,024
need a red

2140
01:13:37,560 --> 01:13:39,260
sporty Honda Civic

2141
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:43,079
to excite me. Silent. No. It it does

2142
01:13:43,079 --> 01:13:43,979
not have a

2143
01:13:44,840 --> 01:13:47,800
hilariously oversized spoiler. Thank god. Yeah. Yeah. If

2144
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:49,335
I could've handled that. Yep.

2145
01:13:50,055 --> 01:13:51,534
Don't think I could and, yeah, we are

2146
01:13:51,654 --> 01:13:53,034
oh my god. We

2147
01:13:54,135 --> 01:13:55,654
I got the keys to the Civic, and

2148
01:13:55,654 --> 01:13:56,774
they were like, okay. We have to go

2149
01:13:56,774 --> 01:13:58,295
to the post office, and we have to

2150
01:13:58,295 --> 01:13:59,354
go to the pharmacy.

2151
01:14:01,015 --> 01:14:03,899
Yeah. Yeah. That's why why we needed our

2152
01:14:04,460 --> 01:14:05,920
sporty little Honda Civic.

2153
01:14:08,140 --> 01:14:08,640
Mhmm.

2154
01:14:09,579 --> 01:14:10,159
But Anyhoo.

2155
01:14:10,460 --> 01:14:13,119
Anyway, so it's as always,

2156
01:14:13,739 --> 01:14:14,880
been a hot mess.

2157
01:14:15,899 --> 01:14:17,739
Mhmm. We are in good humor about it

2158
01:14:17,739 --> 01:14:18,404
all. Yeah.

2159
01:14:21,524 --> 01:14:22,024
I

2160
01:14:22,484 --> 01:14:24,005
will I need to sell a kidney to

2161
01:14:24,005 --> 01:14:26,965
get us through medical procedures and car issues?

2162
01:14:26,965 --> 01:14:28,104
Maybe. Maybe.

2163
01:14:28,645 --> 01:14:31,020
I mean, there are I don't yeah. I

2164
01:14:31,020 --> 01:14:33,119
was very happy to have my partial hysterectomy

2165
01:14:33,180 --> 01:14:34,619
and then one, never have a period again.

2166
01:14:34,619 --> 01:14:36,300
And then two, never have to worry about

2167
01:14:36,300 --> 01:14:36,780
having

2168
01:14:37,100 --> 01:14:39,979
accidentally having children again. But there are times

2169
01:14:39,979 --> 01:14:41,280
I wish I was younger

2170
01:14:41,979 --> 01:14:43,005
and had, like,

2171
01:14:43,484 --> 01:14:45,645
a working uterus. So I could I'll be

2172
01:14:45,645 --> 01:14:46,925
like, how much you pay me to be

2173
01:14:46,925 --> 01:14:47,505
a surrogate?

2174
01:14:48,444 --> 01:14:50,204
I can use the cash. I don't. I

2175
01:14:50,204 --> 01:14:52,704
wouldn't. I really wouldn't. I hated being pregnant.

2176
01:14:53,085 --> 01:14:53,664
I was

2177
01:14:54,045 --> 01:14:55,585
I was not a pretty

2178
01:14:56,444 --> 01:15:00,050
or cute or happy pregnant person. I was

2179
01:15:00,350 --> 01:15:01,949
I didn't have hard pregnancies. I had pretty

2180
01:15:01,949 --> 01:15:03,649
easy pregnancies, but I

2181
01:15:03,949 --> 01:15:04,530
I hated

2182
01:15:05,149 --> 01:15:07,550
everything except when I would get kicked when

2183
01:15:07,550 --> 01:15:09,409
they were big enough. But then

2184
01:15:09,789 --> 01:15:12,989
I had midnight soccer players apparently because that's

2185
01:15:12,989 --> 01:15:15,675
what so I hated being pregnant. But sometimes

2186
01:15:15,675 --> 01:15:17,774
I'm like, you know, that whole surrogacy thing

2187
01:15:18,314 --> 01:15:20,654
for $10.20 grand. I mean,

2188
01:15:21,435 --> 01:15:23,454
if I had functioning parts

2189
01:15:23,914 --> 01:15:25,854
and my eggs were not geriatric,

2190
01:15:27,914 --> 01:15:29,375
a bitch could be convinced.

2191
01:15:31,600 --> 01:15:32,100
So

2192
01:15:33,039 --> 01:15:33,539
anyway.

2193
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:34,500
Anyhoo.

2194
01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:36,420
So here we are. Yep.

2195
01:15:37,600 --> 01:15:39,920
So, we probably should let these folks go

2196
01:15:39,920 --> 01:15:43,460
about their day, evening, morning, whatever. Yes. Mhmm.

2197
01:15:44,465 --> 01:15:46,465
What will we be doing? Crashing and trying

2198
01:15:46,465 --> 01:15:48,545
to take a nap before we Yeah. Go

2199
01:15:48,545 --> 01:15:51,284
to the performance tonight. Mhmm. That's fine. Yeah.

2200
01:15:51,505 --> 01:15:53,664
Okay. Okay. I guess we can be done.

2201
01:15:53,664 --> 01:15:56,385
We can. Mhmm. Okay. Thanks for listening. Thanks

2202
01:15:56,385 --> 01:15:57,905
for being here with us. Especially to the

2203
01:15:57,905 --> 01:15:59,890
bitter end. Mhmm. Okay. Alright.

2204
01:16:03,470 --> 01:16:04,220
Bye. Bye.