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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four thirty four. Ken Lourdes here with the

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one, the only,

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the bratty daddy himself. Jump around stone. That's

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me.

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You have been

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quite bratty recently. Yes. Like,

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your sadistic

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side is partnered up with your bratty side.

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Side. Yeah.

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You tickled me so bad I had the

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safe word. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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Almost forgot that I could.

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Like, I was not in pain. I was

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not, like

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but I I

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was so, like, no. Don't tell me. So

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hard. I almost forgot

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that that I had an option. Forgot what

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you could do. Right. Okay. But we're not

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asking

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is a sadistic bratty daddy the asshole. No.

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No.

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I'm glad about that. Thank you very much.

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Probably technically, but I consent to it. So

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are you in a way. Yeah. Right. Right.

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Right. No. No. No. This week, we're gonna

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respond to some kinky am I the asshole

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posts from Reddit,

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which there's hardly ever, like, timely enough ones

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to do a whole bunch at one time.

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Mhmm. So this is fun and exciting. Okay.

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We shall see how it goes. Alright. Welcome

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to the Living BDSM podcast. If this is

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your first time listening, glad to have you.

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If you're back for another week, welcome back.

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Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and Friday

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for your kinky pleasure in education, and show

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notes are found at lovingBDSM.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM

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PC. That PC stands for podcast, Joe.

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On Instagram and, technically,

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threads, I guess. And that handle, I will

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forever

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fucking hate.

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Loving d s and the number one. So

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it's at loving d s one. On blue

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sky

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at loving BDSM

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Letters letters letters whatever,

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or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingBDSM,

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where you can watch us live from the

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podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the

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show notes. A big thanks as always to

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our kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our

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newest peeps. We are grateful for every fucking

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one of you.

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Just to give you a little insight as

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to, like, why should I consider being a

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patron? Well, other than I think we're kinda

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cool and our Discord is very chill and

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laid back. We just recorded,

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this month's behind the scenes podcast episode where

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we basically

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dove deep into

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the stuff going on in our relationship. That

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wouldn't be, like, an episode with a topic.

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It's just, hey, here's here's the stuff. Here's

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what's happening. Here's what we've discovered. Like, trust

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can deepen over time, and, you know, the

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more you learn about your partner, the easier

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it

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is to guide and dom them and all

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that good stuff. So Amazing.

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If that sounds, like your thing, you can

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join for as little as $2 a month

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at

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patreon.com/kaylalords.

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That's patreon.com/kaylalords,

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or the link is in the show notes.

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Okay. Before we get into,

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any potential rants, I never promise rants, but

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Reddit is good for a rant or two.

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I just wanna remind you that the free,

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free, absolutely a %

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free to participate in,

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Dom Sub Dynamic Virtual Summit

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starts,

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Monday,

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March 31. What are dates? And you can

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still register for let me say it again,

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free.

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If you register for free, you get twenty

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four hours from the time each session,

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plays where you're able to watch it live

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to see it. There is a paid option

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if you want lifetime access and other goodies,

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but

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every single one of us, including us, we

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have a session too, who made a session.

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Our job was to give you something actionable

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for free. Not that bullshit thing that some

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peop some educators, like vanilla educators do, where

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they're like, I'm gonna use this time as

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a commercial and then the real stuff is

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over here where you have to pay for

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it. No. No. No. No. Everybody's

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session

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has actual shit you can take away from

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and try in your own dynamic.

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We are apparently doing our specialty,

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which is how to make your dynamic work

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in the real world.

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Rara, who is watching live hi, Rara. Mhmm.

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And as part of the reason we even

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have this episode, Am I the Asshole stuff,

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she's got a session on kink comparison. God,

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everybody go watch that one.

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Evie has one on consensual on consent.

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There's one about dating while kinky. There's one

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about finding a kink friendly therapist. There's, like,

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there's some good shit. Link in the places.

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If you have not registered, there is still

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time to do so.

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So yeah. Mhmm. Please please please check that

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out. Okay.

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I,

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I hope

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Silent,

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was accurate in the live chat saying, I

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wondered how long it would take before Kayla

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stumbled on her words. I did not sleep

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well last night, so I'm pretty sure there

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will be a lot more stumbling than just

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a little bit after it already. Okay.

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Okay. Hello, everyone.

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Yeah. That's alright. You have to do that

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too. I missed my, We are off our,

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Yes.

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It's but it's consistently we're off our thing.

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Like, our our

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what is the word I want? I don't

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know. But, yeah. Mhmm. You're not getting the

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chance to do the thing. Am I moving

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too fast and ignoring you? Are you forgetting?

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I have no idea. Is it both? It's

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probably both. I think it's I think it's

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a combination. It's a combination. Okay. And just

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the, chaotic,

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day carrying through into this. That well, yes.

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That is that has always been true. Okay.

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So Alright.

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These am I the asshole questions, two or

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post or whatever you wanna call them, whatever.

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Two came from the BDSM

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underscore

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a I t a, am I the asshole,

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subreddit,

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that is specific to kink stuff,

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hosted, run, moderated by,

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Rara, and I'm begging anybody

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with questions about, was I the asshole in

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this situation and it's kinky thing? Please go

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use that. Because if if that got updated

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more often, we would do more specific, am

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I the assholes questions,

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post

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reaction

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thing.

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And then the rest, I was like, oh,

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these two are kind of interesting.

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I think to me the answer Am I

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the Asshole is clear on both of them,

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but they have topics I want to, like,

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discuss. Alright? Okay. Okay. And then I was

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like, oh, but that's not a two was

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not enough for an episode. I need, like,

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the time and the space to, like, cleanse

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the palate, right, and, you know, like, get

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out some aggression.

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So I went searching

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on Reddit

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specifically for kinky questions that might have appeared

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in all kinds of subreddits,

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found three that were not

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five years old,

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but decided we'd do those. And then if

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these go faster than I anticipate, I have

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a bonus one that I don't love, but

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I was like, for time, maybe. So it

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might remain a mystery,

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if we don't get to it. Okay. Oh.

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And, Silent, I think, came up with came

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with the, we've lost our groove.

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That was the word I was thinking of,

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groove.

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Okay. So here we go. First one. K.

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Am I the asshole for being a 53

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year old horny grandma on OnlyFans?

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So I know.

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I already know the answer. So here's the

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deal. I'm 53, a grandma, and I run

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on OnlyFans because, well, I'm still as wild

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as ever. Some people say I should quote

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act my age, but honestly, I've never felt

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sexier and I love exploring my kinks with

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people who actually appreciate the experience.

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The problem?

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My daughter found out and is absolutely livid

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calling it embarrassing and saying I should be

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baking cookies and not humiliating the family.

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Meanwhile, I'm over here thinking, who cares? I'm

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having fun. I'm making money, and I'm not

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hurting anyone. So am I the asshole for

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embracing my sexuality and doing what I love?

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Or should I just say fuck it and

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keep enjoying myself? I mean, either way, this

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person is gonna keep doing their thing. Right.

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So But, you know, I I think the,

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you know, one, the the title,

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and and as you start reading into it,

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I almost immediately,

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you know, act your age. Yeah. That's the

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thing. When when someone tells you to act

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your age,

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yes. I hate that. It's gross. What does

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that even mean? I've never been this age

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before. I don't know how I'm supposed to

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act. So I'm a just do my shit

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and have a good time. And that's the

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thing. So Yeah. I you know, who who

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gets to tell you what Not your kid.

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Not your kid. Not your kid. Not when

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everybody's a fucking adult.

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Like,

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especially if because I am becoming this kind

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of parent, and I hope I will stay

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this kind of parent. If you're over there

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as my child being an adult doing adult

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things and, you know, not asking my fucking

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opinion,

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stay out of jail,

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don't subtract or add to the population unintentionally,

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live your fucking life. So if the kid

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can live their fucking life, then the mom

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should live their fucking life. To me, this

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one's a gimme. This is an easy one.

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Of course, the grandma is not an asshole

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for being on OnlyFans, but I had the

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I wanted this one because Good good for

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them. Right. It it leads to two things.

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There's the age ist thing of you're too

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old to be doing something like this, and

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then there's the the family found out and

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has fucking opinions.

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Mhmm. And, I mean,

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what what would I do if

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a a one of the kids found that

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about us and was mad? I don't how

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would I respond?

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I mean, I'd probably go bitch mom mode

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and be like, do you pay my bills?

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Right. Am I,

267
00:09:28,355 --> 00:09:30,674
you know, are you responsible for keeping a

268
00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,195
roof over my head? Are you the one

269
00:09:32,195 --> 00:09:35,014
paying for my assisted living facility? No.

270
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:38,514
Shut the fuck up, she says with motherly

271
00:09:38,514 --> 00:09:39,014
love.

272
00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,389
See, and we've gone through not the OnlyFans

273
00:09:43,389 --> 00:09:45,549
thing, but we've gone through family finding out

274
00:09:45,549 --> 00:09:48,929
and saying Mhmm. Judgy shit. Right. So that

275
00:09:49,149 --> 00:09:51,629
is deeply personal. The question I have is,

276
00:09:51,629 --> 00:09:53,629
well, how did how did daughter find out?

277
00:09:53,629 --> 00:09:55,870
Who was trolling OnlyFans? And then it's gonna

278
00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:56,504
be like,

279
00:09:56,985 --> 00:09:58,264
oh, I found somebody I know, so I

280
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,325
should judge them

281
00:10:00,264 --> 00:10:02,024
even though I'm the one looking at shit

282
00:10:02,024 --> 00:10:04,205
where I could come across on all places.

283
00:10:04,345 --> 00:10:07,565
Or or okay. And, you know, let let's

284
00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,960
backtrack on that. I I understand what you're

285
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,480
saying right there. Mhmm. But,

286
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:15,399
you know, let let's,

287
00:10:16,759 --> 00:10:19,159
give credit where credit is due. Sometimes, you

288
00:10:19,159 --> 00:10:20,940
know, you're you're an OF

289
00:10:21,735 --> 00:10:24,455
creator, you know, you're out hawking yourself on

290
00:10:24,774 --> 00:10:26,794
Alright. Social media. Okay?

291
00:10:27,174 --> 00:10:30,054
And what happens if, you know, something like

292
00:10:30,054 --> 00:10:30,615
like the,

293
00:10:31,335 --> 00:10:31,995
the Facebook

294
00:10:32,535 --> 00:10:33,434
says, oh,

295
00:10:33,889 --> 00:10:34,789
we have a,

296
00:10:35,649 --> 00:10:37,590
yeah. Daughter still chose to click a link.

297
00:10:37,889 --> 00:10:40,049
Daughter still chose to go get nosy. Or

298
00:10:40,049 --> 00:10:41,570
it was sent to her by somebody else

299
00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:43,330
who was being nosy. Either way, there was

300
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,149
some nosiness

301
00:10:44,529 --> 00:10:45,269
going on.

302
00:10:45,649 --> 00:10:47,894
You know, it is it's not fine in

303
00:10:47,894 --> 00:10:49,495
the sense of, oh, that's great, but it

304
00:10:49,495 --> 00:10:52,934
is everybody's prerogative to have an opinion on

305
00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:55,335
what other people do. But those opinions get

306
00:10:55,335 --> 00:10:57,815
to stay inside thoughts. They get to stay

307
00:10:57,815 --> 00:10:59,894
in our head as long as those things

308
00:10:59,894 --> 00:11:01,975
do not directly impact us, people we care

309
00:11:01,975 --> 00:11:03,409
about our, you know,

310
00:11:04,269 --> 00:11:04,750
entire,

311
00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:08,129
marginalized communities. Those kinds of things. Like, grandma

312
00:11:08,190 --> 00:11:09,089
is out here

313
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:12,509
shaking what she got, whether she paid for

314
00:11:12,509 --> 00:11:14,429
it or nature, and having a good time

315
00:11:14,429 --> 00:11:16,509
and making some money and just minding her

316
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,250
damn business.

317
00:11:18,115 --> 00:11:19,654
Everybody needs to leave grandma alone.

318
00:11:20,035 --> 00:11:23,254
And too fucking old. Look. Look. I hope

319
00:11:24,035 --> 00:11:25,735
I hope at 53,

320
00:11:25,875 --> 00:11:27,315
I'm still like, you know what? I could

321
00:11:27,315 --> 00:11:28,535
put my tits on the Internet.

322
00:11:29,315 --> 00:11:31,759
They're gonna probably still be sweaty, but maybe

323
00:11:31,759 --> 00:11:32,919
I could put my tits back on the

324
00:11:32,919 --> 00:11:33,419
Internet.

325
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:36,839
That to me is, like, a good thing

326
00:11:36,839 --> 00:11:39,079
to not that everybody should do it, but

327
00:11:39,079 --> 00:11:40,679
to want to do it and to have

328
00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,079
the confidence to just go do it. Like,

329
00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:44,440
if you don't wanna do it, don't do

330
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,975
it. If you don't want to engage with

331
00:11:45,975 --> 00:11:48,695
that content, don't. Don't pay for it if

332
00:11:48,695 --> 00:11:50,774
you don't want to see it. The block

333
00:11:50,774 --> 00:11:53,095
button exists. But if you're like, I have

334
00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:54,575
an urge and I wanna try this and

335
00:11:54,575 --> 00:11:56,695
I wanna do it. Good on you. Go

336
00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:59,580
fucking do it. Go fucking do it. It.

337
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,340
I I don't I can't remember I don't

338
00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:02,320
remember the person

339
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:06,379
specifically anymore, but I remember years ago on

340
00:12:06,379 --> 00:12:06,879
Tumblr,

341
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:10,059
there was this woman, and I wanna say

342
00:12:10,059 --> 00:12:11,600
she was either in her late

343
00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:15,514
sixties at the time or early seventies. Mhmm.

344
00:12:16,054 --> 00:12:17,434
And she was doing

345
00:12:18,294 --> 00:12:19,115
some beautiful,

346
00:12:20,934 --> 00:12:21,915
erotic photography.

347
00:12:22,695 --> 00:12:23,835
Mhmm. Mhmm.

348
00:12:24,615 --> 00:12:26,879
I've when I was reading this question, my

349
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,500
thought was, would I go back to OnlyFans?

350
00:12:29,519 --> 00:12:31,299
And I would go back to making

351
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:33,759
that kind of content, but I would actually

352
00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:35,759
not go to OnlyFans because they're kinda evil.

353
00:12:35,759 --> 00:12:36,740
I would go to Fansleaf.

354
00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,144
But either way, if you're a grown ass

355
00:12:41,225 --> 00:12:43,644
adult making your own decisions and not negatively

356
00:12:43,705 --> 00:12:44,205
impacting

357
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,365
anybody with that decision

358
00:12:46,985 --> 00:12:49,384
Yeah. And negative impact is not, I think,

359
00:12:49,384 --> 00:12:51,404
less of you because that's a you problem,

360
00:12:51,545 --> 00:12:52,845
not a them problem.

361
00:12:53,769 --> 00:12:54,909
Correct. Anyway.

362
00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:56,809
Okay. That was an easy one, but I

363
00:12:57,049 --> 00:12:57,549
Yeah.

364
00:12:58,649 --> 00:13:00,649
Okay. Is it this one I wanted to

365
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:01,389
do? No.

366
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:04,669
Where where things got out of hand. Uh-oh.

367
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,889
Ah, there we go. This one. Things got

368
00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:08,250
out of order. And once I put them

369
00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:09,584
in order in my notes, I like them

370
00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:11,044
to stay in my fucking order.

371
00:13:11,504 --> 00:13:12,004
Okay.

372
00:13:13,105 --> 00:13:15,504
This one's, deceiving, so listen all the way.

373
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,004
Okay.

374
00:13:16,304 --> 00:13:19,504
Am I the asshole for considering quitting my

375
00:13:19,504 --> 00:13:21,204
dom due to his size?

376
00:13:21,584 --> 00:13:22,084
K.

377
00:13:22,539 --> 00:13:25,100
I, 45 female, am a submissive, married, in

378
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,259
an ethical, non monogamous arrangement, and play on

379
00:13:27,259 --> 00:13:29,419
my own. I've recently started with a new

380
00:13:29,419 --> 00:13:32,059
dominant, primarily looking for impact topping, and it

381
00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:34,160
quickly included rough sex. Yay.

382
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:36,779
However, the last time was way less kinky

383
00:13:36,779 --> 00:13:39,195
and involved some snuggling and missionary sex, which

384
00:13:39,195 --> 00:13:42,075
suddenly brought me head on into the reality

385
00:13:42,075 --> 00:13:44,715
that his body frame is very similar to

386
00:13:44,715 --> 00:13:45,695
my ex husband's.

387
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,475
Very slight frame compared to my my more

388
00:13:48,475 --> 00:13:49,375
average size.

389
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:51,149
It didn't bother me so much when there

390
00:13:51,149 --> 00:13:52,750
was a flogger between us or a hand

391
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,830
on my neck. But this last time, all

392
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:56,929
of a sudden I couldn't erase that similarity

393
00:13:57,149 --> 00:13:59,149
from my mind. I don't know if I

394
00:13:59,149 --> 00:14:00,610
can get past those memories.

395
00:14:00,990 --> 00:14:02,590
Am I the asshole if I end this

396
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:05,075
because I can't do vanilla ish sex with

397
00:14:05,075 --> 00:14:06,855
a man smaller than me?

398
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,514
As somebody who outweighs her dom by a

399
00:14:10,514 --> 00:14:12,294
good fifty, sixty pounds,

400
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,315
on the the smaller than me thing, I

401
00:14:15,315 --> 00:14:17,634
get that. On the you remind me of

402
00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:19,759
my ex thing. Oh, yeah. That I get

403
00:14:19,759 --> 00:14:21,860
that too. What do you think about this?

404
00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:26,500
It's a hot mess.

405
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:29,440
It's kinda it is and isn't complicated. I

406
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:29,679
mean

407
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,220
Yeah. I know.

408
00:14:36,495 --> 00:14:37,235
I mean,

409
00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:41,075
I I think they're overthinking it. Yes. Okay.

410
00:14:43,455 --> 00:14:45,154
You know, there are certain

411
00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:48,639
physical things that remind you of an ex.

412
00:14:49,579 --> 00:14:52,459
I think that's that can happen. Mhmm. But,

413
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,600
what really matters is the personality.

414
00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:58,480
What is the personality like?

415
00:14:59,259 --> 00:15:01,574
I think it comes down to we get

416
00:15:01,574 --> 00:15:02,074
to

417
00:15:03,014 --> 00:15:04,154
reject or

418
00:15:04,774 --> 00:15:07,574
want a potential partner for any number of

419
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,054
reasons. Mhmm. And only you as an individual

420
00:15:10,054 --> 00:15:12,454
get to decide what is a step too

421
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:13,975
far for you or what is just a

422
00:15:13,975 --> 00:15:16,235
trait you just don't want to deal with.

423
00:15:19,470 --> 00:15:19,970
I

424
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,669
if it was, like, somebody I knew and

425
00:15:22,669 --> 00:15:24,429
who trusted me and, like, they were just

426
00:15:24,429 --> 00:15:26,429
asking for my opinion, I would start asking

427
00:15:26,429 --> 00:15:27,870
those questions. I'd be like, but what about

428
00:15:27,870 --> 00:15:30,174
their personality? Or can you just negotiate that

429
00:15:30,174 --> 00:15:32,014
you don't do vanilla sex and you don't

430
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,654
wanna snuggle, but you're down for impact and

431
00:15:34,894 --> 00:15:36,514
Yeah. Kink rough kinky sex?

432
00:15:37,134 --> 00:15:39,075
Would that be an option? But, ultimately,

433
00:15:39,934 --> 00:15:42,495
if something about a person kind of puts

434
00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:43,235
you off

435
00:15:43,615 --> 00:15:45,720
and you don't want, you're, like, you're not

436
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,600
inclined to work around it, you shouldn't have

437
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:51,240
to. Do I think she should say something?

438
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,340
No. I don't think you tell the person,

439
00:15:53,559 --> 00:15:55,159
look, your frame reminds me of my ex

440
00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:56,759
husband and I just can't get that feeling

441
00:15:56,759 --> 00:15:58,360
out of my mind. Right? I don't know

442
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,674
if you say all that.

443
00:16:00,535 --> 00:16:02,294
I think it's okay to go, hey, look.

444
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,434
I've had a good time,

445
00:16:03,894 --> 00:16:06,134
but this isn't working for me. Have a

446
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:07,894
nice life. I think that I think that

447
00:16:07,894 --> 00:16:09,735
is fine. Mhmm. You know, I think part

448
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:11,934
of it is not always, not everybody, but

449
00:16:11,934 --> 00:16:13,629
I think some people get into their head

450
00:16:13,629 --> 00:16:14,990
thinking I'm gonna have to tell them why

451
00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:16,269
I'm breaking up with them. I have to

452
00:16:16,269 --> 00:16:18,190
tell them that they're reminding me of my

453
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:20,509
stinky, stinky ex and I hate that. Right?

454
00:16:20,509 --> 00:16:23,169
Like, I mean, you can, I guess, but

455
00:16:23,389 --> 00:16:25,070
if it's a thing they can't change about

456
00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:25,570
themselves,

457
00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:29,565
remember, if no is a complete sentence, then

458
00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:32,284
you are not required to go Mhmm? To,

459
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,924
like, crazy in-depth on your reasonings for things

460
00:16:34,924 --> 00:16:37,584
as long as you don't yeah. To say

461
00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:39,504
I'm not feeling it anymore,

462
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,839
that's the full story. Right? They might want

463
00:16:42,839 --> 00:16:44,439
to know more, but they're not You're not

464
00:16:44,439 --> 00:16:47,399
obligated to tell them. So it's either, can

465
00:16:47,399 --> 00:16:49,480
you work around it, renegotiate, don't put yourself

466
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,620
in that physical position,

467
00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:53,959
or end it maturely. Okay. So let let

468
00:16:53,959 --> 00:16:55,579
me throw something out to you.

469
00:16:56,014 --> 00:16:56,514
Because

470
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,674
I remember a certain someone

471
00:16:59,294 --> 00:17:01,455
who at one time said they could not

472
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,715
see themselves being with someone who is

473
00:17:04,255 --> 00:17:04,755
either

474
00:17:05,855 --> 00:17:08,434
the same height or shorter than them. Right.

475
00:17:08,599 --> 00:17:10,359
Also, I remember somebody saying they could not

476
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,359
be with somebody who had children again. The

477
00:17:12,359 --> 00:17:15,480
difference was there was enough connecting us Mhmm.

478
00:17:15,559 --> 00:17:17,799
And enough we liked about one another and

479
00:17:17,799 --> 00:17:20,680
enough that made it something that was not

480
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,180
insurmountable.

481
00:17:22,279 --> 00:17:24,525
Each individual gets to decide for themselves,

482
00:17:25,065 --> 00:17:27,945
is this too much and I can't work

483
00:17:27,945 --> 00:17:29,545
through it, or could I work past it?

484
00:17:29,545 --> 00:17:32,265
Could I, like, get over it, adjust, whatever,

485
00:17:32,265 --> 00:17:32,765
whatever?

486
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,625
I'm gonna tell a bestie if they're having

487
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:37,570
a good fucking time with somebody, Look, I'm

488
00:17:37,570 --> 00:17:39,490
gonna let maybe just take a beat and

489
00:17:39,490 --> 00:17:41,109
think about all the good shit. Right?

490
00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:43,890
Yeah. I'm I'm gonna with the influence I

491
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,250
have over somebody I care about and I

492
00:17:45,250 --> 00:17:47,009
know who they are and I know, like,

493
00:17:47,009 --> 00:17:48,210
what they've been through. You know what I

494
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:50,690
mean? I might urge that. But as a

495
00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:51,750
general principle

496
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:52,630
Mhmm.

497
00:17:52,994 --> 00:17:55,095
If you don't vibe with somebody,

498
00:17:55,394 --> 00:17:57,494
you don't fucking vibe with them.

499
00:17:58,115 --> 00:18:00,434
It doesn't matter if I think the reason

500
00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:00,755
is

501
00:18:01,474 --> 00:18:03,315
I won't say silly. I don't wanna, like,

502
00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:04,535
minimize this person's

503
00:18:05,075 --> 00:18:07,799
situation. But, like, if I would not find

504
00:18:07,799 --> 00:18:10,279
that, a thing to stop me. You know

505
00:18:10,279 --> 00:18:12,619
what I mean? Like Okay. Yeah. Me personally,

506
00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:15,400
because we've done it, each of us, there's

507
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,579
enough good there that that was

508
00:18:18,279 --> 00:18:19,420
that was me

509
00:18:19,964 --> 00:18:21,184
having my own internal

510
00:18:21,724 --> 00:18:22,224
misogyny,

511
00:18:22,924 --> 00:18:25,244
fat phobia. Like, pick a thing is why

512
00:18:25,244 --> 00:18:27,644
I couldn't handle, you know, somebody shorter and

513
00:18:27,644 --> 00:18:30,285
smaller than me. This person is getting the

514
00:18:30,285 --> 00:18:32,605
reminder of their ex, and I'm gonna be

515
00:18:32,605 --> 00:18:36,289
like, oh, how did that ex situation go?

516
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:39,169
Yeah. Is this a traumatic reminder? Is this

517
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:42,349
a disgust distaste? I hate this. Get this

518
00:18:42,349 --> 00:18:43,730
feeling away from me.

519
00:18:44,269 --> 00:18:46,909
I'm not gonna guilt somebody into saying you

520
00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:48,769
gotta get over that. You know?

521
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:53,615
That's that they're not the asshole to me,

522
00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:55,535
they're not the asshole for having that feeling

523
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,394
and thinking, maybe I can't do this anymore.

524
00:18:57,535 --> 00:18:59,855
What would make them the asshole is if

525
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:01,934
they say to this person, you're way too

526
00:19:01,934 --> 00:19:04,079
fucking short, and it's creeping me out. Like,

527
00:19:04,079 --> 00:19:06,160
that's a thing they literally cannot fix about

528
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,960
themselves. So why would you be shitty and

529
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:09,859
and tell them

530
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,200
what's, air quote, horrible about them? Right? That

531
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,714
is what would, to me, would make them

532
00:19:14,794 --> 00:19:17,034
the asshole. Mhmm. What do you think? I

533
00:19:17,034 --> 00:19:17,534
I

534
00:19:17,994 --> 00:19:19,914
I after hearing you explain it like that,

535
00:19:19,914 --> 00:19:21,275
yes, I have to do. After I bully

536
00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:23,294
you into seeing my point of view. Sorry.

537
00:19:24,315 --> 00:19:27,054
I feel passionately about things, y'all.

538
00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:31,349
Oh, god.

539
00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:33,029
Okay.

540
00:19:34,609 --> 00:19:36,929
This one, the commenters on this one, this

541
00:19:36,929 --> 00:19:38,710
one is nine months ago,

542
00:19:39,089 --> 00:19:40,149
and it is

543
00:19:40,529 --> 00:19:42,710
from the actual am I the asshole subreddit.

544
00:19:43,169 --> 00:19:44,595
Some people were like, I think it's fake.

545
00:19:44,595 --> 00:19:46,115
And some people were like, I think we

546
00:19:46,115 --> 00:19:48,054
don't get the whole story. I

547
00:19:48,835 --> 00:19:50,355
I had initial thoughts, and then I read

548
00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:52,835
the comments, and sometimes that's dangerous. So here

549
00:19:52,835 --> 00:19:55,795
we go. Alright. Am I the asshole for

550
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:56,295
accidentally

551
00:19:56,755 --> 00:19:59,414
revealing my cousin's BDSM collection?

552
00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:02,819
Last weekend, I was at my cousin Dave's

553
00:20:02,819 --> 00:20:04,980
place for a family barbecue. Everything was fine

554
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:06,740
until Dave asked me to grab some extra

555
00:20:06,740 --> 00:20:07,960
chairs from his basement.

556
00:20:08,339 --> 00:20:10,980
I head down there and accidentally knock over

557
00:20:10,980 --> 00:20:11,640
a box.

558
00:20:11,974 --> 00:20:14,934
Out spills a bunch of BDSM gear and

559
00:20:14,934 --> 00:20:16,474
some pretty explicit stuff.

560
00:20:16,775 --> 00:20:19,255
I'm talking whips, cuffs, masks, ball gags, the

561
00:20:19,255 --> 00:20:19,994
whole shebang.

562
00:20:20,295 --> 00:20:22,055
I quickly try to shove it all back

563
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,775
in, but not before Dave walks in and

564
00:20:24,775 --> 00:20:25,914
sees what happened.

565
00:20:26,429 --> 00:20:28,909
He completely flips out screaming about how I

566
00:20:28,909 --> 00:20:30,929
invaded his privacy and ruined everything.

567
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,789
He's yelling that I've exposed his private collection

568
00:20:33,789 --> 00:20:35,629
to the whole family even though I didn't

569
00:20:35,629 --> 00:20:37,869
tell anyone. But he was so loud that

570
00:20:37,869 --> 00:20:39,424
a few family members came over to see

571
00:20:39,424 --> 00:20:40,944
what the hell was going on, and now

572
00:20:40,944 --> 00:20:43,044
they're all curious and asking questions.

573
00:20:43,585 --> 00:20:45,664
Dave stumbles over his words, but pretty much

574
00:20:45,664 --> 00:20:48,164
exposed himself while I just stood there shocked.

575
00:20:48,544 --> 00:20:50,144
Dave hasn't spoken to me since and has

576
00:20:50,144 --> 00:20:51,744
been going on about how I'm a terrible

577
00:20:51,744 --> 00:20:54,049
person for snooping around his stuff even though

578
00:20:54,049 --> 00:20:55,830
he's the one who sent me down there.

579
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:58,130
Some family members think Dave is being ridiculous

580
00:20:58,130 --> 00:21:00,130
and needs to chill, while others are saying

581
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:01,430
I should have been more careful.

582
00:21:01,809 --> 00:21:03,650
A lot of whispers going on within the

583
00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:05,785
family. I think some of them know know

584
00:21:05,785 --> 00:21:07,404
what was in there and some don't.

585
00:21:07,945 --> 00:21:10,984
He's posting passive aggressive things on social media

586
00:21:10,984 --> 00:21:13,305
about boundaries and respect, and I'm getting all

587
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:15,384
these angry texts from Dave about how I've

588
00:21:15,384 --> 00:21:17,539
destroyed his reputation and how he can never

589
00:21:17,539 --> 00:21:19,130
look at me the same way again.

590
00:21:19,430 --> 00:21:21,750
I honestly feel terrible, but it was an

591
00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:22,250
accident.

592
00:21:22,710 --> 00:21:25,349
Am I the asshole for accidentally revealing my

593
00:21:25,349 --> 00:21:26,970
cousin's BDSM collection?

594
00:21:27,430 --> 00:21:29,269
I honestly don't know what to do because

595
00:21:29,269 --> 00:21:31,664
I cannot undo the accident. Yeah.

596
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:34,525
No. They're not the asshole. No. They're not

597
00:21:34,525 --> 00:21:36,924
the asshole. Taking that at face value, no.

598
00:21:36,924 --> 00:21:38,684
They're not the asshole. Yeah. I'm I mean,

599
00:21:38,684 --> 00:21:41,085
you know, going by the title, it it

600
00:21:41,085 --> 00:21:43,265
almost sounds like they outed them,

601
00:21:43,750 --> 00:21:45,509
you know, but that that is absolutely not

602
00:21:45,509 --> 00:21:47,589
the case. No. They outed themselves by freaking

603
00:21:47,589 --> 00:21:50,650
out. Yeah. Mhmm. Yep. Mhmm. And yeah. So,

604
00:21:52,789 --> 00:21:55,369
I think what was his name? Dave? Dave.

605
00:21:55,589 --> 00:21:57,849
Dave. Yeah. Yeah. Dave's the asshole.

606
00:21:58,805 --> 00:22:01,525
Now yeah. The passive aggressive stuff. The Mhmm.

607
00:22:01,525 --> 00:22:03,625
Absolutely. That stuff. Yes. Oh, yeah.

608
00:22:04,325 --> 00:22:05,464
I can understand

609
00:22:06,164 --> 00:22:09,125
panic making you behave in ways that are

610
00:22:09,285 --> 00:22:10,904
Yeah. Not your best self.

611
00:22:11,924 --> 00:22:16,000
I've also absolutely seen moments in life where

612
00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,860
your agitation about a thing, your fear of

613
00:22:18,860 --> 00:22:21,019
a thing is what actually brings on the

614
00:22:21,019 --> 00:22:22,720
thing you're afraid of. Right?

615
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:26,299
I read fiction, especially the time travel stuff.

616
00:22:26,299 --> 00:22:26,805
I know.

617
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,065
But, yeah. The

618
00:22:32,164 --> 00:22:33,525
and then I clocked this as being like

619
00:22:33,605 --> 00:22:34,884
first, I was like, okay. This is a

620
00:22:34,884 --> 00:22:37,765
person with high anxiety who responds in anger

621
00:22:37,765 --> 00:22:39,845
and gets loud when they panic, which is

622
00:22:39,845 --> 00:22:41,625
a thing that can happen to some people.

623
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,240
And then I had the thought, and then

624
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,440
I went looking at the comments because I

625
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,799
wanted to see what other people thought. I

626
00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:46,700
was like, wait.

627
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,700
Was he was it an accident,

628
00:22:51,559 --> 00:22:53,500
or was he really snooping?

629
00:22:54,375 --> 00:22:56,295
And now it's I gotta make myself it

630
00:22:56,295 --> 00:22:57,974
it just fell over, and I was just

631
00:22:57,974 --> 00:22:59,195
trying to put it away.

632
00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:02,055
How you know, you got sent for chairs,

633
00:23:02,055 --> 00:23:03,815
and it was twenty minutes later before you

634
00:23:03,894 --> 00:23:05,455
like, there's details we'll never get to know.

635
00:23:05,455 --> 00:23:05,561
Right. But that would alter my perception because

636
00:23:05,561 --> 00:23:05,904
on its face, that feels like a really

637
00:23:05,904 --> 00:23:06,404
big,

638
00:23:09,009 --> 00:23:11,730
because on its face, that feels like a

639
00:23:11,730 --> 00:23:13,430
really big, big reaction.

640
00:23:14,369 --> 00:23:15,829
You know? Yeah. And I don't want to

641
00:23:15,970 --> 00:23:19,589
say that people cannot unintentionally have big reactions

642
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:21,190
that fuck themselves over.

643
00:23:21,744 --> 00:23:24,144
That absolutely is true, but it's like, that

644
00:23:24,224 --> 00:23:26,644
I mean, it was already in the basement.

645
00:23:26,784 --> 00:23:28,784
That's another thing that, that I was like,

646
00:23:28,784 --> 00:23:29,284
why?

647
00:23:30,065 --> 00:23:32,065
Why is your toy box in the basement,

648
00:23:32,065 --> 00:23:34,065
but it's not a basement for playing? Right?

649
00:23:34,065 --> 00:23:36,799
Like Mhmm. Is it, so then is was

650
00:23:36,799 --> 00:23:38,160
it a thing that you were no longer

651
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,440
doing and you but you don't wanna throw

652
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,140
it away? You just stored it away?

653
00:23:41,599 --> 00:23:44,079
You're taking a kicking a break. Maybe. I

654
00:23:44,079 --> 00:23:46,400
know. I just I I would desperately like

655
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:47,839
to know. I know. There there there is

656
00:23:47,839 --> 00:23:48,640
a lot of,

657
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,794
Unknown. Un unknowns in this. It's to me,

658
00:23:51,794 --> 00:23:54,054
it's a little too simplistic of a story.

659
00:23:54,514 --> 00:23:58,194
So okay. What isn't being said? Why would

660
00:23:58,194 --> 00:24:00,514
he have such like, is this how Dave

661
00:24:00,514 --> 00:24:03,075
reacts to everything that stresses him out? Okay.

662
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:05,794
That's his personality, and he fucked himself over.

663
00:24:05,794 --> 00:24:08,190
Yeah. Was something else going on? Is there

664
00:24:08,190 --> 00:24:11,630
animosity between these two so Dave automatically thinks

665
00:24:11,630 --> 00:24:13,869
the worst? Has some shit gone down in

666
00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,029
the past where Dave is not really reacting

667
00:24:16,029 --> 00:24:18,190
to this moment? He's triggered, and he's reacting

668
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,730
to everything else. Else. Yeah.

669
00:24:20,484 --> 00:24:22,404
This is why these questions are hard because

670
00:24:22,404 --> 00:24:24,724
I have questions. So how can I give

671
00:24:24,724 --> 00:24:27,125
you Questions about the questions? Right. Right. You

672
00:24:27,125 --> 00:24:29,365
would get a better answer from me. I

673
00:24:29,365 --> 00:24:31,125
would know if I felt like I was

674
00:24:31,125 --> 00:24:32,825
correct or not in my assessment

675
00:24:33,284 --> 00:24:35,269
Mhmm. If I could could have more context

676
00:24:35,269 --> 00:24:35,750
and details.

677
00:24:37,990 --> 00:24:40,970
So yeah. Based on the on its face,

678
00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:43,670
take it, it's your face value, no. He's

679
00:24:43,670 --> 00:24:44,490
not the asshole.

680
00:24:44,789 --> 00:24:45,929
Dave fucked himself

681
00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:49,464
over. Dave, like, might wanna work on that.

682
00:24:49,845 --> 00:24:50,744
But also,

683
00:24:51,525 --> 00:24:53,065
I'm giving a little side eye.

684
00:24:54,005 --> 00:24:55,845
Where are you at? I I get it.

685
00:24:55,845 --> 00:24:58,484
Yeah. The the whole the whole thing, it's

686
00:24:58,484 --> 00:24:59,545
it's too vague

687
00:25:00,670 --> 00:25:02,609
to really, you know Mhmm.

688
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:05,309
Mhmm. I know. But I feel like I'm

689
00:25:05,309 --> 00:25:06,450
bullying you and

690
00:25:06,750 --> 00:25:07,890
agreeing with me. Okay.

691
00:25:08,190 --> 00:25:11,089
Okay. Here we go. Next one. Okay.

692
00:25:11,950 --> 00:25:12,450
Okay.

693
00:25:13,934 --> 00:25:16,095
This one is long. I see that. And

694
00:25:16,095 --> 00:25:18,255
don't take the title at face value. Oh

695
00:25:18,255 --> 00:25:21,214
my god. Another one. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. This one's

696
00:25:21,214 --> 00:25:22,815
from ten months ago, so it's still within

697
00:25:22,815 --> 00:25:25,375
the past year. Am am I the asshole

698
00:25:25,375 --> 00:25:27,630
for kink shaming my girlfriend? This is a

699
00:25:27,630 --> 00:25:29,309
throwaway because of my friends and my Reddit

700
00:25:29,309 --> 00:25:31,710
username. Okay. I first met my girlfriend on

701
00:25:31,710 --> 00:25:33,470
Hinge a little over a year ago and

702
00:25:33,470 --> 00:25:35,970
for the first six months, everything was perfect.

703
00:25:36,190 --> 00:25:37,950
She told me early into the relationship that

704
00:25:37,950 --> 00:25:40,590
she was into BDSM and specifically into dom

705
00:25:40,590 --> 00:25:41,330
sub dynamics.

706
00:25:41,965 --> 00:25:43,644
I'm also pretty kinky, so I told her

707
00:25:43,644 --> 00:25:45,325
this was no problem and I'd be happy

708
00:25:45,325 --> 00:25:47,404
to do this with her. However, I was

709
00:25:47,404 --> 00:25:49,805
thinking this dynamic would be something purely sexual

710
00:25:49,805 --> 00:25:51,644
and we would be a normal couple outside

711
00:25:51,644 --> 00:25:53,244
of the bedroom. I'm gonna give a little

712
00:25:53,244 --> 00:25:55,980
side eye. A normal couple, really? Really? Okay.

713
00:25:56,759 --> 00:25:58,519
This is how it started, and the sex

714
00:25:58,519 --> 00:26:00,919
was fantastic. But then gradually, it seeped into

715
00:26:00,919 --> 00:26:03,559
our public lives too. It started with her

716
00:26:03,559 --> 00:26:05,399
asking how I would feel about her wearing

717
00:26:05,399 --> 00:26:07,019
a collar when we were out together.

718
00:26:07,319 --> 00:26:08,494
I I told her that I would be

719
00:26:08,494 --> 00:26:10,095
uncomfortable if she was doing it for my

720
00:26:10,095 --> 00:26:11,694
sake, but I wasn't going to tell her

721
00:26:11,694 --> 00:26:14,034
what she was and wasn't allowed to wear.

722
00:26:14,174 --> 00:26:15,615
She sulked for a bit after this, but

723
00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:17,394
it didn't seem to bother her too much.

724
00:26:17,694 --> 00:26:19,534
Next, she sent me a video from some

725
00:26:19,534 --> 00:26:22,355
BDSM TikTok account where a woman was demonstrating

726
00:26:22,575 --> 00:26:25,049
how her dom had had loads of hand

727
00:26:25,049 --> 00:26:26,890
signals which he used to order her around

728
00:26:26,890 --> 00:26:28,670
in public without people noticing.

729
00:26:29,210 --> 00:26:31,049
She said that if I was uncomfortable with

730
00:26:31,049 --> 00:26:32,970
people seeing the collar, then this would be

731
00:26:32,970 --> 00:26:35,150
better because nobody would know what was happening.

732
00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:37,130
I didn't want another argument, so I just

733
00:26:37,130 --> 00:26:38,569
said that I would watch the video and

734
00:26:38,569 --> 00:26:41,045
think about it. In hindsight, I think I

735
00:26:41,045 --> 00:26:42,965
should have just shut her down here because

736
00:26:42,965 --> 00:26:46,005
after this, she started suggesting more and more

737
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:46,984
extreme things.

738
00:26:47,285 --> 00:26:49,205
Her next request was that I should be

739
00:26:49,205 --> 00:26:51,460
in control of aspects of her life such

740
00:26:51,460 --> 00:26:53,700
as when she eats, drinks, and sleeps. She

741
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:55,380
wants me to tell her what and when

742
00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:56,900
to eat and drink as well as when

743
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:58,580
she should go to sleep and when she

744
00:26:58,580 --> 00:27:00,820
wakes up. I told her I didn't wanna

745
00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:02,680
do this, but instead of dropping it,

746
00:27:03,140 --> 00:27:05,700
instead, she constantly messages me asking for my

747
00:27:05,700 --> 00:27:08,634
permission for everything, which is honestly really tiring

748
00:27:08,634 --> 00:27:09,375
and annoying.

749
00:27:09,674 --> 00:27:11,115
I work in a high pressure job and

750
00:27:11,115 --> 00:27:12,555
it feels like not only do I have

751
00:27:12,555 --> 00:27:14,075
to manage my own life, I am also

752
00:27:14,075 --> 00:27:15,455
in charge of hers as well.

753
00:27:15,835 --> 00:27:17,674
Whilst all of this was happening, she also

754
00:27:17,674 --> 00:27:20,555
started adopting an extremely bratty persona in the

755
00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:21,055
bedroom.

756
00:27:21,490 --> 00:27:23,970
I'm okay with this occasionally but literally every

757
00:27:23,970 --> 00:27:25,890
time we have sex, she is adopting a

758
00:27:25,890 --> 00:27:28,289
weird juvenile persona where she acts like she

759
00:27:28,289 --> 00:27:30,210
isn't interested and she wants me to argue

760
00:27:30,210 --> 00:27:32,849
with her for ages and even physically wrestle

761
00:27:32,849 --> 00:27:35,384
her until she submits and then we have

762
00:27:35,865 --> 00:27:37,865
sex. I have told her multiple times that

763
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:40,105
I absolutely hate this and she'll stop for

764
00:27:40,105 --> 00:27:41,945
a couple of days and then gradually start

765
00:27:41,945 --> 00:27:42,845
doing it again.

766
00:27:43,384 --> 00:27:45,785
This all culminated when last week I was

767
00:27:45,785 --> 00:27:47,880
having an extremely busy and stressful day at

768
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,960
work, and she was blowing up my phone

769
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,880
all day asking for my permission to do

770
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,380
things.

771
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:54,119
After work, I went to her place for

772
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:55,720
dinner. And later that night when we were

773
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,119
going to have sex, her bratty persona was

774
00:27:58,119 --> 00:27:59,259
back in full force.

775
00:27:59,654 --> 00:28:01,494
I was exhausted and not in a very

776
00:28:01,494 --> 00:28:03,095
good mood, so I just told her that

777
00:28:03,095 --> 00:28:04,775
I wasn't going to argue with her or

778
00:28:04,775 --> 00:28:06,934
play her games. We can either have sex

779
00:28:06,934 --> 00:28:09,174
like normal couples do or I'm going to

780
00:28:09,174 --> 00:28:10,855
sleep. He needs to stop with the normal

781
00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,315
word, but I get his point.

782
00:28:12,849 --> 00:28:14,769
This really pissed her off and she started

783
00:28:14,769 --> 00:28:16,529
shouting at me saying that she never would

784
00:28:16,529 --> 00:28:17,889
have dated me if she knew I was

785
00:28:17,889 --> 00:28:20,690
a baby dom along with bringing up some

786
00:28:20,690 --> 00:28:23,329
other insecurities and things I had confided in

787
00:28:23,329 --> 00:28:25,809
her about. At this point, I was completely

788
00:28:25,809 --> 00:28:27,089
done and I just told her she can

789
00:28:27,089 --> 00:28:29,664
apologize tomorrow or else we're finished, and then

790
00:28:29,664 --> 00:28:30,244
I went

791
00:28:31,345 --> 00:28:33,105
home. I turned my phone off because she

792
00:28:33,105 --> 00:28:34,705
kept calling me, and then the next day,

793
00:28:34,705 --> 00:28:36,965
I had loads of messages from her friends

794
00:28:37,184 --> 00:28:39,664
saying that I was being abusive and kink

795
00:28:39,664 --> 00:28:42,460
shaming her. I don't think I'm kink shaming

796
00:28:42,460 --> 00:28:44,140
her because although I was up for the

797
00:28:44,140 --> 00:28:46,619
sexual side, I never agreed or wanted for

798
00:28:46,619 --> 00:28:48,480
it to take over our entire relationship.

799
00:28:49,099 --> 00:28:50,940
Her friends are calling me an asshole because

800
00:28:50,940 --> 00:28:52,859
they say that a dom sub relationship can't

801
00:28:52,859 --> 00:28:54,295
just be in the bedroom. It has to

802
00:28:54,295 --> 00:28:56,075
be the focus of the entire relationship.

803
00:28:56,535 --> 00:28:57,035
Disagree.

804
00:28:58,134 --> 00:29:00,055
At this point, I've had so many of

805
00:29:00,055 --> 00:29:01,894
her friends message me saying I'm in the

806
00:29:01,894 --> 00:29:03,734
wrong. I don't know if I'm the one

807
00:29:03,734 --> 00:29:04,634
being unreasonable

808
00:29:04,934 --> 00:29:05,434
anymore.

809
00:29:06,214 --> 00:29:08,130
So the am I the asshole for kink

810
00:29:08,210 --> 00:29:09,809
shaming? Let's answer that because I think that's

811
00:29:09,809 --> 00:29:11,329
an easy one for both of us. Right.

812
00:29:12,769 --> 00:29:14,849
No. In no world are you the asshole.

813
00:29:14,849 --> 00:29:16,369
No. No. No. No. No. No. She's the

814
00:29:16,369 --> 00:29:18,789
fucking asshole. Right. Hot damn. She

815
00:29:19,250 --> 00:29:21,109
she she seems to be the problem.

816
00:29:22,055 --> 00:29:24,295
It seems like she has a tendency of

817
00:29:24,295 --> 00:29:27,174
just springing things on them Yes. Without talking

818
00:29:27,174 --> 00:29:27,994
about it. And not boring.

819
00:29:28,775 --> 00:29:31,434
Yeah. Without without talking about it, without negotiating

820
00:29:31,654 --> 00:29:32,154
anything,

821
00:29:32,535 --> 00:29:33,755
you know, and

822
00:29:34,375 --> 00:29:35,674
so, you know, yeah.

823
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:38,710
She's got some of the red flags in

824
00:29:38,710 --> 00:29:41,690
this one. Yeah. Yeah. That's a kink dispenser.

825
00:29:41,910 --> 00:29:44,230
I'm ignoring your no and I don't want

826
00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:46,150
to. Right. Do I think he could have

827
00:29:46,150 --> 00:29:47,690
been more direct, more forceful?

828
00:29:48,230 --> 00:29:49,990
Maybe. But it also seems like it didn't

829
00:29:49,990 --> 00:29:51,974
matter because even when he was super direct

830
00:29:51,974 --> 00:29:53,275
according to his story,

831
00:29:53,734 --> 00:29:55,575
she freaking ignored it. You know, and and

832
00:29:55,575 --> 00:29:57,255
I think there is a a,

833
00:29:57,894 --> 00:29:59,835
a fair bit of incompatibility.

834
00:30:00,694 --> 00:30:02,234
Oh, yeah. Completely incompatible.

835
00:30:02,615 --> 00:30:03,015
Yeah.

836
00:30:03,414 --> 00:30:05,460
You know, for you know, I mean, obviously,

837
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,740
it seems that she wants to be micromanaged.

838
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,519
And she wants to a bratty a Dom

839
00:30:11,519 --> 00:30:13,759
who'll take her bratty side and, like Right.

840
00:30:13,759 --> 00:30:15,059
Yes. You know, so,

841
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,220
you know, he's

842
00:30:17,865 --> 00:30:19,625
not into that. He, you know, he said

843
00:30:19,625 --> 00:30:21,724
so. Clearly. So, you know, there there's

844
00:30:22,105 --> 00:30:23,565
even in kind of incompatibility.

845
00:30:24,744 --> 00:30:26,984
Mhmm. You know? If if it's a let's

846
00:30:26,984 --> 00:30:28,505
look back and what can we learn from

847
00:30:28,505 --> 00:30:30,445
this from him, I would say

848
00:30:31,065 --> 00:30:31,724
the moment

849
00:30:32,259 --> 00:30:33,700
your partner says, hey, I wanna do this

850
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:34,980
thing in the bedroom, do not assume you

851
00:30:34,980 --> 00:30:36,179
know what they mean. You need to, like,

852
00:30:36,179 --> 00:30:38,019
be very explicit and talk about it and

853
00:30:38,019 --> 00:30:39,140
go, this is what I think it means.

854
00:30:39,140 --> 00:30:40,259
What do you think it means? And what

855
00:30:40,259 --> 00:30:42,759
do we wanna do together? That was a

856
00:30:43,220 --> 00:30:45,615
hindsight's twenty twenty, let's do things better for

857
00:30:45,615 --> 00:30:46,835
the next time lesson.

858
00:30:47,214 --> 00:30:49,055
Fucking talk about it and get into the

859
00:30:49,055 --> 00:30:50,974
details and don't assume. Because he did a

860
00:30:50,974 --> 00:30:52,994
lot of assuming using words like normal

861
00:30:53,295 --> 00:30:55,295
Yeah. Because, you know, to him, kink is,

862
00:30:55,295 --> 00:30:57,134
like, out there and, like, not his main

863
00:30:57,134 --> 00:30:59,075
experience even though he's air quote kinky.

864
00:31:00,690 --> 00:31:03,170
Like, I'm you know, if this was a

865
00:31:03,170 --> 00:31:04,609
person who's like, I'm a kinkster. I'm big

866
00:31:04,609 --> 00:31:06,529
in the community. And using terminology like that,

867
00:31:06,529 --> 00:31:09,170
I'd be I'd be very annoyed. This to

868
00:31:09,170 --> 00:31:11,429
me is more of an education and normalization

869
00:31:11,730 --> 00:31:13,205
thing. Like, I'm just not used to being

870
00:31:13,205 --> 00:31:14,565
around it. So to me, it is not

871
00:31:14,565 --> 00:31:15,065
normal.

872
00:31:16,485 --> 00:31:18,325
But also a normal relate. Like, oh, there's

873
00:31:18,325 --> 00:31:20,025
parts I'm like, I don't like that.

874
00:31:20,644 --> 00:31:22,485
I wanna know what the hell she told

875
00:31:22,485 --> 00:31:23,225
her friends

876
00:31:24,419 --> 00:31:26,500
For them to come out and At him

877
00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:28,179
like that. Yeah. Because it does not sound

878
00:31:28,179 --> 00:31:29,539
like she was like, look, I tried to

879
00:31:29,539 --> 00:31:30,659
get him to be the dom of my

880
00:31:30,659 --> 00:31:32,419
dreams and he just wouldn't and then he

881
00:31:32,500 --> 00:31:34,819
you know, now we're fighting. Sounds more like

882
00:31:34,819 --> 00:31:36,099
he didn't like that I was a brat

883
00:31:36,099 --> 00:31:37,539
and he, you know, made me feel bad

884
00:31:37,539 --> 00:31:39,240
about it. I mean, for them to to,

885
00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:40,224
you know,

886
00:31:41,484 --> 00:31:43,105
call him out and say he's abusive?

887
00:31:43,724 --> 00:31:44,705
Yes. Exactly.

888
00:31:45,325 --> 00:31:46,465
Because quite frankly,

889
00:31:47,724 --> 00:31:50,924
she was abusive. Right. He was saying, maybe

890
00:31:50,924 --> 00:31:53,039
not as clearly as I would recommend, not

891
00:31:53,039 --> 00:31:54,480
as clearly as I maybe he needed to,

892
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,159
but he was saying no. He was saying,

893
00:31:56,159 --> 00:31:57,679
I don't want this. I don't like this.

894
00:31:57,679 --> 00:31:59,200
I don't wanna do this. And she was

895
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,679
like, I'm gonna ignore you and try it

896
00:32:01,679 --> 00:32:02,500
again anyway.

897
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,144
I know. I you know, that and and

898
00:32:06,144 --> 00:32:07,365
that's the thing too.

899
00:32:09,904 --> 00:32:11,744
Doesn't matter which side of the slash you

900
00:32:11,744 --> 00:32:12,404
are on,

901
00:32:12,865 --> 00:32:15,025
no means no. And it's a complete sentence.

902
00:32:15,025 --> 00:32:17,205
Either way, you know, it it

903
00:32:17,585 --> 00:32:17,904
so

904
00:32:18,690 --> 00:32:21,089
Yeah. I'm I would what I'd be curious

905
00:32:21,089 --> 00:32:23,569
about is either how she took it versus

906
00:32:23,569 --> 00:32:25,809
how she explained it to her friends. Right.

907
00:32:25,809 --> 00:32:26,309
Because

908
00:32:26,849 --> 00:32:29,269
for his rejection to be automatically

909
00:32:29,730 --> 00:32:31,269
deemed kink shaming means

910
00:32:31,649 --> 00:32:32,149
either

911
00:32:32,714 --> 00:32:35,035
she was under the very mistaken impression that

912
00:32:35,035 --> 00:32:37,595
no matter how what kind of submissive she

913
00:32:37,595 --> 00:32:39,515
was or wants to be, that her partner

914
00:32:39,515 --> 00:32:41,355
should just accept her and want that to

915
00:32:41,355 --> 00:32:41,855
automatically

916
00:32:42,394 --> 00:32:44,255
and or she told

917
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:47,609
slight deviation on the actual facts of the

918
00:32:47,609 --> 00:32:50,089
case to make herself look better for her

919
00:32:50,089 --> 00:32:52,490
friends. Like, how self aware was she? Did

920
00:32:52,490 --> 00:32:55,230
she realize she was crossing boundaries and ignoring

921
00:32:55,289 --> 00:32:55,789
limits

922
00:32:56,089 --> 00:32:57,529
and doing what the fuck she wanted, but

923
00:32:57,529 --> 00:32:59,325
you can't admit that to your friends because

924
00:32:59,325 --> 00:33:01,404
then you look like the shitty person you

925
00:33:01,404 --> 00:33:01,904
are.

926
00:33:02,524 --> 00:33:04,204
Was she that self aware and just change

927
00:33:04,204 --> 00:33:07,085
the story? Or did she rewrite that story

928
00:33:07,085 --> 00:33:08,765
in her head and go, oh, I'm being

929
00:33:08,765 --> 00:33:11,565
rejected because, you know, he doesn't like this

930
00:33:11,565 --> 00:33:13,565
kink and it's me and not the kink

931
00:33:13,565 --> 00:33:15,240
he doesn't want. Well, at this point, it's

932
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,759
both of you. He didn't want the kink

933
00:33:16,759 --> 00:33:18,440
and he does not want you, and you

934
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,980
did that to yourself.

935
00:33:20,279 --> 00:33:22,840
Mhmm. So, no, he's not the asshole. Do

936
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:23,340
I,

937
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:25,880
you know, think that there's some things he

938
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:26,380
could

939
00:33:26,965 --> 00:33:28,884
have a better understanding of? Sure. Sure. Sure.

940
00:33:28,884 --> 00:33:31,365
Sure. But that's that's, like, that's so low

941
00:33:31,365 --> 00:33:32,825
on the totem pole of issues.

942
00:33:34,644 --> 00:33:35,865
Uh-uh. You know?

943
00:33:36,965 --> 00:33:38,725
And silent ass in the live chat. Now

944
00:33:38,725 --> 00:33:40,244
I thought the same thing. I would love

945
00:33:40,244 --> 00:33:42,579
to know how this guy defines kinky. Right.

946
00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:45,960
Because that's another thing. We don't all define

947
00:33:46,019 --> 00:33:48,039
it the same way. Right. And

948
00:33:48,740 --> 00:33:51,059
just assuming that you can say kinky to

949
00:33:51,059 --> 00:33:52,579
one another and you both know what you're

950
00:33:52,579 --> 00:33:53,400
talking about,

951
00:33:53,859 --> 00:33:55,400
so wrong. So wrong.

952
00:33:55,705 --> 00:33:57,384
You know, if he's like, I wanna, like,

953
00:33:57,384 --> 00:33:59,225
call you names and choke you and pull

954
00:33:59,225 --> 00:34:00,984
your hair during sex, and she's like, actually,

955
00:34:00,984 --> 00:34:01,945
I want you to put me on my

956
00:34:01,945 --> 00:34:03,785
knees and collar me and leave me like,

957
00:34:03,785 --> 00:34:04,285
it's

958
00:34:05,305 --> 00:34:07,404
such wild hints of a spectra.

959
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:13,900
So

960
00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:16,860
yeah. So there was that one. Yeah.

961
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,360
And this is the last technical one. And

962
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,440
then we'll decide if you want the mystery

963
00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:23,885
one. That was not that good,

964
00:34:24,985 --> 00:34:25,804
but this one.

965
00:34:26,184 --> 00:34:28,505
This one. Oh my goodness. This one is

966
00:34:28,505 --> 00:34:30,585
only from four months ago. Oh dear. And

967
00:34:30,585 --> 00:34:31,625
it was from the,

968
00:34:32,344 --> 00:34:34,585
a I t a h, am I the

969
00:34:34,585 --> 00:34:35,085
asshole,

970
00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:38,839
subreddit. There's multiples these days. So Yeah.

971
00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:39,960
So

972
00:34:40,980 --> 00:34:44,019
am I the asshole for throwing away the

973
00:34:44,019 --> 00:34:45,719
key of my ex's

974
00:34:46,019 --> 00:34:47,079
adult cage?

975
00:34:47,875 --> 00:34:49,474
Cock cage, if you wanna make sure you

976
00:34:49,474 --> 00:34:50,135
know. Okay.

977
00:34:50,434 --> 00:34:52,914
I, female twenty five, was dating my ex,

978
00:34:52,914 --> 00:34:54,535
male thirty, for two years.

979
00:34:54,914 --> 00:34:56,835
Before anyone mentions the age gap, I was

980
00:34:56,835 --> 00:34:58,515
into it and pursued him first. We met

981
00:34:58,515 --> 00:35:00,355
on Tinder, and our relationship started off as

982
00:35:00,355 --> 00:35:02,390
simply sexual as we both had some kinks

983
00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:03,670
we wanted to try out and did not

984
00:35:03,670 --> 00:35:04,890
want a serious relationship.

985
00:35:05,430 --> 00:35:07,510
This eventually turned into us dating as we

986
00:35:07,510 --> 00:35:08,950
realized we wanted to spend all of our

987
00:35:08,950 --> 00:35:09,690
time together.

988
00:35:10,070 --> 00:35:11,530
Our relationship was nonmonogamous

989
00:35:11,990 --> 00:35:14,010
as we both are sex positive and nontraditional.

990
00:35:14,710 --> 00:35:16,755
The only boundary we had was that we

991
00:35:16,755 --> 00:35:19,074
must use protection and we do not lie

992
00:35:19,074 --> 00:35:21,494
about our flings or relationship dynamic.

993
00:35:22,434 --> 00:35:24,675
Fast forward two years and things were going

994
00:35:24,675 --> 00:35:26,755
great. I just moved in with him and

995
00:35:26,755 --> 00:35:28,355
we made new rules where we do not

996
00:35:28,355 --> 00:35:30,359
bring any of our flings home. It was

997
00:35:30,359 --> 00:35:31,819
amazing until yesterday.

998
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:35,960
My ex, let's call him Jay, left his

999
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,639
phone out while he took a shower, and

1000
00:35:37,639 --> 00:35:39,960
I got curious. I ended up finding out

1001
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,565
that he was on Grindr and was messaging

1002
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:46,284
kinky, but I did not know he was

1003
00:35:46,284 --> 00:35:48,684
into men at all. This made me very

1004
00:35:48,684 --> 00:35:50,844
upset as I was completely unaware and I

1005
00:35:50,844 --> 00:35:53,324
felt like he was keeping secrets from me.

1006
00:35:53,324 --> 00:35:54,844
He should know I wouldn't care if he

1007
00:35:54,844 --> 00:35:56,525
was bi as I am queer myself and

1008
00:35:56,525 --> 00:35:57,480
I'm very LGBTQ

1009
00:35:57,960 --> 00:35:58,460
friendly.

1010
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,159
I started reading the messages on Grindr and

1011
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:01,659
found

1012
00:36:02,119 --> 00:36:03,800
that he had a whole other side of

1013
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,900
his life that he didn't show me.

1014
00:36:06,199 --> 00:36:08,519
The messages and picture he was pictures he

1015
00:36:08,519 --> 00:36:11,239
was sending these men were unlike anything I'd

1016
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,045
seen from him. I'm not gonna lie. It

1017
00:36:13,045 --> 00:36:14,485
hurt me a lot that he kept this

1018
00:36:14,485 --> 00:36:16,405
for me. While he may not have broken

1019
00:36:16,405 --> 00:36:18,005
any of our rules, I felt like he

1020
00:36:18,005 --> 00:36:19,925
was cheating on me by keeping all this

1021
00:36:19,925 --> 00:36:20,585
a secret.

1022
00:36:20,885 --> 00:36:22,804
This sent me into a spiral and I

1023
00:36:22,804 --> 00:36:23,704
started crying.

1024
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,760
I decided then that we should break up

1025
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,300
and I started packing immediately.

1026
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,840
We'd recently moved in together only a week

1027
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:32,840
prior so I could easily grab most of

1028
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,400
my things. I was packed within twenty minutes.

1029
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,400
In a rage, I left his phone open

1030
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:39,835
to his Grindr messages on his pillow and

1031
00:36:39,835 --> 00:36:41,295
left without saying anything.

1032
00:36:41,835 --> 00:36:43,934
Here's where I might be the asshole.

1033
00:36:44,635 --> 00:36:46,655
Really? Here's where you might be the asshole?

1034
00:36:47,035 --> 00:36:48,635
Before Jay took a shower, he had a

1035
00:36:48,635 --> 00:36:50,394
penis cage on. Something we like to do

1036
00:36:50,394 --> 00:36:50,969
in our relationship

1037
00:36:51,929 --> 00:36:54,010
penis cage and give me the key. This

1038
00:36:54,010 --> 00:36:55,849
meant I could at times control when he

1039
00:36:55,849 --> 00:36:58,030
got erect and he would be more submissive

1040
00:36:58,090 --> 00:36:59,690
to me. He would just keep it on

1041
00:36:59,690 --> 00:37:01,130
for one day at a time. Since we're

1042
00:37:01,130 --> 00:37:02,650
poly, I did not want to control him

1043
00:37:02,650 --> 00:37:04,650
every day. In the heat of the moment

1044
00:37:04,650 --> 00:37:06,730
yesterday, I was so angry that I took

1045
00:37:06,730 --> 00:37:09,045
the key with me and threw it away

1046
00:37:09,045 --> 00:37:10,664
as I was leaving his apartment.

1047
00:37:11,284 --> 00:37:13,364
This left Jay in a cage with no

1048
00:37:13,364 --> 00:37:15,284
way to open it. At the time, I

1049
00:37:15,284 --> 00:37:16,885
was so mad and felt like he cheated

1050
00:37:16,885 --> 00:37:18,724
on me, so I think my actions were

1051
00:37:18,724 --> 00:37:19,224
justified.

1052
00:37:19,730 --> 00:37:21,809
However, after one day, I'm feeling a little

1053
00:37:21,809 --> 00:37:23,730
bad. Jay has tried to call me and

1054
00:37:23,730 --> 00:37:26,449
has kept texting me asking what's wrong. I

1055
00:37:26,449 --> 00:37:27,889
told him that we are over because of

1056
00:37:27,889 --> 00:37:29,889
his secrets. He says he loves me and

1057
00:37:29,889 --> 00:37:31,409
is sorry that he never told me he

1058
00:37:31,409 --> 00:37:33,170
was bi, but I do not think that's

1059
00:37:33,170 --> 00:37:35,635
enough. He also mentioned coming by my parents'

1060
00:37:35,635 --> 00:37:37,554
place where I slept last night to pick

1061
00:37:37,554 --> 00:37:39,315
up the cage key and drop off some

1062
00:37:39,315 --> 00:37:41,494
of my cosmetic items from the bathroom.

1063
00:37:42,114 --> 00:37:43,795
I texted him that I threw it away

1064
00:37:43,795 --> 00:37:45,875
in his apartment's dumpster and that we can

1065
00:37:45,875 --> 00:37:46,694
meet up later.

1066
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,519
This is when he called me and left

1067
00:37:48,519 --> 00:37:49,739
a voice mail yelling

1068
00:37:50,039 --> 00:37:51,799
saying that it's the only key and that

1069
00:37:51,799 --> 00:37:54,059
the dumpster was emptied this morning.

1070
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,039
After a couple hours, he sent me a

1071
00:37:56,039 --> 00:37:58,440
photo of all my makeup in the same

1072
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,599
dumpster. I told him I threw the key

1073
00:38:00,599 --> 00:38:00,824
in.

1074
00:38:01,625 --> 00:38:03,545
I am not responded as I am pissed.

1075
00:38:03,545 --> 00:38:05,144
He could get a new key on Amazon

1076
00:38:05,144 --> 00:38:07,464
for like $20 but my makeup was over

1077
00:38:07,464 --> 00:38:08,844
a hundred dollars altogether.

1078
00:38:09,704 --> 00:38:11,464
Am I the asshole for throwing away the

1079
00:38:11,464 --> 00:38:13,469
key to my ex boyfriend's penis

1080
00:38:14,190 --> 00:38:16,109
cage? T l d r, too long, didn't

1081
00:38:16,109 --> 00:38:17,389
read. I threw away the key to my

1082
00:38:17,389 --> 00:38:19,309
boyfriend's penis cage trapping him because I found

1083
00:38:19,309 --> 00:38:20,530
out he was on Grindr.

1084
00:38:21,070 --> 00:38:21,570
Update.

1085
00:38:22,349 --> 00:38:24,030
Jay just sent me a text saying he

1086
00:38:24,030 --> 00:38:26,190
got the cage off and never wants to

1087
00:38:26,190 --> 00:38:28,184
see me again. I guess this is the

1088
00:38:28,184 --> 00:38:30,445
end. Y'all see? Right?

1089
00:38:30,744 --> 00:38:31,244
I

1090
00:38:31,704 --> 00:38:35,144
kinda don't blame him. Whoo. I'm I mean

1091
00:38:35,224 --> 00:38:37,644
I'm gonna go, yes. You're the fucking asshole

1092
00:38:37,704 --> 00:38:38,525
here. Yeah.

1093
00:38:38,825 --> 00:38:40,765
Oh my god. Okay. What are your thoughts?

1094
00:38:42,105 --> 00:38:42,844
You know,

1095
00:38:43,309 --> 00:38:43,809
yeah.

1096
00:38:44,269 --> 00:38:45,809
She she's a hot mess.

1097
00:38:46,190 --> 00:38:47,250
Yeah. She is.

1098
00:38:50,349 --> 00:38:52,110
You know, I don't know. I've I've got

1099
00:38:52,110 --> 00:38:53,329
so many mixed emotions

1100
00:38:54,030 --> 00:38:55,869
with that whole thing to a certain extent.

1101
00:38:55,869 --> 00:38:57,329
Mhmm. You know, because,

1102
00:39:00,405 --> 00:39:02,164
she was kinda wrong for going through his

1103
00:39:02,164 --> 00:39:04,005
phone. To me, she was immediately wrong. You

1104
00:39:04,005 --> 00:39:06,325
do not say, we're super happy. I'm totally

1105
00:39:06,325 --> 00:39:06,985
in love.

1106
00:39:07,765 --> 00:39:09,224
Go looking through the phone,

1107
00:39:10,244 --> 00:39:11,144
like, without

1108
00:39:11,610 --> 00:39:13,530
permission, like, there Yeah. With the amount of

1109
00:39:13,530 --> 00:39:16,490
detail this person gave us, one would assume

1110
00:39:16,490 --> 00:39:19,530
should go, I had permission or I didn't

1111
00:39:19,530 --> 00:39:21,289
have permission. And I'm thinking if you don't

1112
00:39:21,289 --> 00:39:23,050
tell us, maybe you did not have explicit

1113
00:39:23,050 --> 00:39:24,329
permission Right. To go through some of these.

1114
00:39:24,329 --> 00:39:25,950
I mean, you you and I.

1115
00:39:26,574 --> 00:39:27,775
We hand each other our phones all the

1116
00:39:27,775 --> 00:39:29,215
time. We we hand you know, you can

1117
00:39:29,215 --> 00:39:31,215
look at my stuff anytime you want. You

1118
00:39:31,215 --> 00:39:32,175
you go in my phone. We know each

1119
00:39:32,175 --> 00:39:33,775
other's codes. It's fine. Right. You know, you

1120
00:39:33,775 --> 00:39:35,855
you go in my pass my my email,

1121
00:39:35,855 --> 00:39:37,695
so, you know, I don't care. The only

1122
00:39:37,695 --> 00:39:39,135
place she that makes you seems to make

1123
00:39:39,135 --> 00:39:40,440
you nervous is my purse.

1124
00:39:41,059 --> 00:39:43,380
Yeah. Like it's, like a black hole mystery,

1125
00:39:43,380 --> 00:39:44,820
and you are afraid to put your hand

1126
00:39:44,820 --> 00:39:45,480
in there.

1127
00:39:48,179 --> 00:39:49,239
So, you know,

1128
00:39:52,655 --> 00:39:54,255
throwing away the key, that was a bitch

1129
00:39:54,255 --> 00:39:56,835
move. That was a bitch move. Because unless

1130
00:39:57,135 --> 00:39:59,054
she like, somebody said in the live chat,

1131
00:39:59,054 --> 00:40:00,755
these keys tend to be interchangeable.

1132
00:40:01,135 --> 00:40:03,295
Mhmm. You really can't get another one. Did

1133
00:40:03,295 --> 00:40:06,195
she know that and assumed he knew that?

1134
00:40:06,494 --> 00:40:09,369
If I'm pretty sure if I'd never been

1135
00:40:09,369 --> 00:40:11,929
locked unwillingly into something, that would not be

1136
00:40:11,929 --> 00:40:13,710
my first thought. I probably would panic

1137
00:40:14,090 --> 00:40:16,250
and have to be reminded, you know, because

1138
00:40:16,250 --> 00:40:18,090
that was not what you were expecting. Everything

1139
00:40:18,090 --> 00:40:19,155
is now a mystery. I come

1140
00:40:21,155 --> 00:40:21,297
out of the shower, the girlfriend's gone, I

1141
00:40:21,297 --> 00:40:23,015
can't take my dick out of the cage,

1142
00:40:23,315 --> 00:40:24,695
my phone is on my pillow,

1143
00:40:25,074 --> 00:40:26,934
I don't know why, like

1144
00:40:27,875 --> 00:40:30,275
You know, and and yet, on the same

1145
00:40:30,275 --> 00:40:32,515
hand, you know, or on the other side

1146
00:40:32,515 --> 00:40:33,255
of the thing,

1147
00:40:34,029 --> 00:40:35,010
you know, you're

1148
00:40:36,029 --> 00:40:37,809
practicing ethical non monogamy,

1149
00:40:38,349 --> 00:40:40,589
okay, or, you know, non monogamy, however you

1150
00:40:40,589 --> 00:40:41,569
wanna, Polly,

1151
00:40:43,469 --> 00:40:46,394
and yet he's on a dating site that,

1152
00:40:46,394 --> 00:40:48,235
and she knows nothing about it. But here's

1153
00:40:48,235 --> 00:40:50,394
the thing. They had rules. She stated the

1154
00:40:50,394 --> 00:40:51,755
explicit there was a lot of info. I

1155
00:40:51,755 --> 00:40:53,195
understand if you don't remember. Let me go

1156
00:40:53,195 --> 00:40:54,094
back to it. Originally,

1157
00:40:56,155 --> 00:40:58,474
the only boundary we had was that we

1158
00:40:58,474 --> 00:41:01,034
must use protection and we do not lie

1159
00:41:01,034 --> 00:41:02,619
about our flings or relationship

1160
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,059
dynamic. Okay?

1161
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,840
Lying means you have to ask about them.

1162
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,280
Right? Or that there has to be you

1163
00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:09,559
have to be in a conversation about them.

1164
00:41:09,559 --> 00:41:10,380
So a mission.

1165
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,360
A lie of a mission, maybe. And I

1166
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:13,640
have I have thoughts about it. So let

1167
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,160
me get there. Okay. So then they move

1168
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:15,820
in together,

1169
00:41:16,144 --> 00:41:17,525
and the new rule

1170
00:41:18,304 --> 00:41:21,204
is that they don't bring the flings home.

1171
00:41:21,585 --> 00:41:23,824
Oh, that's a fair rule. And she even

1172
00:41:23,824 --> 00:41:24,324
says

1173
00:41:24,864 --> 00:41:26,625
he may not have broken any of our

1174
00:41:26,625 --> 00:41:30,005
rules. Here's what now, I cannot speak to

1175
00:41:30,385 --> 00:41:31,764
how I might feel

1176
00:41:32,109 --> 00:41:32,609
if

1177
00:41:32,989 --> 00:41:35,550
an an important part of my partner's identity

1178
00:41:35,550 --> 00:41:37,010
was not revealed to me,

1179
00:41:37,710 --> 00:41:40,190
not because, like, they owe me information, but,

1180
00:41:40,190 --> 00:41:43,070
like, yeah. I I might maybe I would

1181
00:41:43,070 --> 00:41:44,510
have this thing of why couldn't you tell

1182
00:41:44,510 --> 00:41:46,505
me? But that's the thing on my mind.

1183
00:41:46,565 --> 00:41:48,324
What is it about her that he didn't

1184
00:41:48,324 --> 00:41:50,405
feel like he could tell her? Right. I

1185
00:41:50,644 --> 00:41:52,824
when we first got together, I was

1186
00:41:53,764 --> 00:41:55,844
a little hesitant Right. To tell you I

1187
00:41:55,844 --> 00:41:57,224
was bi, but that's because

1188
00:41:57,605 --> 00:41:58,264
I had

1189
00:41:59,829 --> 00:42:01,429
in the in the past, when I had

1190
00:42:01,429 --> 00:42:03,530
talked to some people and told them,

1191
00:42:04,630 --> 00:42:05,769
you know, I was

1192
00:42:06,389 --> 00:42:07,849
hit by some very judgmental

1193
00:42:08,230 --> 00:42:10,250
Right. Stuff. And and that

1194
00:42:10,550 --> 00:42:12,949
made me a little gun shy. Right. But

1195
00:42:12,949 --> 00:42:14,655
here's the thing, maybe he he went through

1196
00:42:14,655 --> 00:42:17,614
that. Mhmm. And I everybody has their own

1197
00:42:17,614 --> 00:42:20,094
unique experience. No group is a monolith, but

1198
00:42:20,094 --> 00:42:22,414
I cannot understand how somebody who can say

1199
00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:24,114
I'm queer, I'm part of the LGBTQ,

1200
00:42:25,375 --> 00:42:25,875
community

1201
00:42:26,175 --> 00:42:27,474
would not understand

1202
00:42:28,530 --> 00:42:30,769
that maybe somebody's not ready to tell you

1203
00:42:30,769 --> 00:42:31,269
something.

1204
00:42:31,730 --> 00:42:32,230
So

1205
00:42:32,849 --> 00:42:34,530
one, that could absolutely be it. They just

1206
00:42:34,530 --> 00:42:36,530
weren't ready. They had past experiences like you

1207
00:42:36,530 --> 00:42:38,449
did. They were they were just, like, figuring

1208
00:42:38,449 --> 00:42:40,469
their shit out, whatever. But

1209
00:42:41,554 --> 00:42:43,331
after two years, I'm gonna go back to

1210
00:42:43,331 --> 00:42:45,335
what was it about that partner

1211
00:42:45,954 --> 00:42:47,074
that he was like, it's been two years,

1212
00:42:47,074 --> 00:42:49,194
we're living together, and I still can't tell

1213
00:42:49,194 --> 00:42:49,815
you. Yeah.

1214
00:42:51,474 --> 00:42:53,394
Because I'm wondering if,

1215
00:42:54,559 --> 00:42:57,679
throwing away the cock cage key was just

1216
00:42:57,679 --> 00:43:00,900
one Okay. String of many Yeah.

1217
00:43:01,199 --> 00:43:02,820
Red flag kind of behaviors.

1218
00:43:03,359 --> 00:43:05,359
Look. I'm gonna be I'm gonna piss somebody

1219
00:43:05,359 --> 00:43:06,960
off with this, and I know that not

1220
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:08,639
everybody sees it this way, and that is

1221
00:43:08,639 --> 00:43:09,139
okay.

1222
00:43:09,585 --> 00:43:10,085
I

1223
00:43:11,505 --> 00:43:13,184
do not trust the things that happen in

1224
00:43:13,184 --> 00:43:14,704
anger. I do not trust when somebody goes,

1225
00:43:14,704 --> 00:43:16,385
I didn't really mean it. I just but

1226
00:43:16,464 --> 00:43:18,464
because here's the thing. Here's how my brain

1227
00:43:18,464 --> 00:43:19,984
works, and here's how I see it. You

1228
00:43:19,984 --> 00:43:21,445
are welcome to see it differently.

1229
00:43:22,385 --> 00:43:24,164
If you said it when you were angry,

1230
00:43:24,224 --> 00:43:26,519
also for when you're drunk, it means it

1231
00:43:26,519 --> 00:43:28,539
was in your goddamn head.

1232
00:43:29,079 --> 00:43:31,079
You knew it was a weapon to be

1233
00:43:31,079 --> 00:43:33,239
used or you were thinking it at some

1234
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:33,739
point.

1235
00:43:34,119 --> 00:43:36,280
Because how could it even fucking be like,

1236
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,054
I could get so mad at you,

1237
00:43:38,534 --> 00:43:39,974
and there are things that would never even

1238
00:43:39,974 --> 00:43:42,534
fucking occur to me to say that I

1239
00:43:42,534 --> 00:43:44,054
know you've heard from other partners. Like, I

1240
00:43:44,054 --> 00:43:45,815
just would never like, I just would never

1241
00:43:45,815 --> 00:43:48,295
say it because there's no point in my

1242
00:43:48,295 --> 00:43:50,454
life with you that that sits in my

1243
00:43:50,454 --> 00:43:52,829
brain even when I'm cranky with you. We

1244
00:43:52,829 --> 00:43:54,429
had a conversation the other day about you.

1245
00:43:54,429 --> 00:43:56,190
We get to think anything we wanna think,

1246
00:43:56,190 --> 00:43:58,269
but some things we think should stay inside

1247
00:43:58,269 --> 00:44:00,510
thoughts because I did not wanna hear that

1248
00:44:00,510 --> 00:44:02,349
even though I'm not gonna police what he

1249
00:44:02,349 --> 00:44:03,170
fucking thinks.

1250
00:44:03,905 --> 00:44:05,445
So, you know, that's

1251
00:44:06,144 --> 00:44:08,464
that's the other thing. Like, there's layers to

1252
00:44:08,464 --> 00:44:09,445
this. Mhmm.

1253
00:44:10,784 --> 00:44:12,385
Somebody said in live chat and I completely

1254
00:44:12,385 --> 00:44:15,344
agree. Could absolutely have just left that fucking

1255
00:44:15,344 --> 00:44:16,864
key there. And quite frankly, if you wanted

1256
00:44:16,864 --> 00:44:18,085
to make a bigger statement,

1257
00:44:18,625 --> 00:44:19,559
phone opened a

1258
00:44:20,119 --> 00:44:22,599
Grindr, she next to it. Right? Like, here.

1259
00:44:22,599 --> 00:44:24,219
Have it. I don't want this. Mhmm.

1260
00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,719
But that's the other thing. If this is

1261
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:28,780
how they responded

1262
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,400
in this situation, how do they respond to

1263
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:31,900
other

1264
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,199
stressors or points where they're angry with their

1265
00:44:34,199 --> 00:44:35,554
partner? And so, therefore,

1266
00:44:36,014 --> 00:44:38,175
was there a reason their partner never felt

1267
00:44:38,175 --> 00:44:40,335
safe telling them they were bi? Yeah. If

1268
00:44:40,335 --> 00:44:41,534
if it was a safety thing. I don't

1269
00:44:41,534 --> 00:44:43,534
wanna assume that. It could just be I'm

1270
00:44:43,534 --> 00:44:45,394
not used to talking about that.

1271
00:44:45,775 --> 00:44:46,355
You know,

1272
00:44:46,655 --> 00:44:48,494
it's always been a thing I kept like,

1273
00:44:48,494 --> 00:44:50,719
there's all kinds of reasons. I'm I'm not

1274
00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:52,980
gonna try and dictate what those reasons are,

1275
00:44:53,359 --> 00:44:55,839
but I'm just saying, I think if you

1276
00:44:55,839 --> 00:44:56,339
get

1277
00:44:57,679 --> 00:44:58,179
this

1278
00:44:59,119 --> 00:45:01,619
upset at this, when you can say

1279
00:45:02,465 --> 00:45:04,304
none of the rules were broken yes I

1280
00:45:04,304 --> 00:45:06,224
was hurt you could be hurt like I

1281
00:45:06,224 --> 00:45:08,545
could see that if if ten years in

1282
00:45:08,545 --> 00:45:10,405
I found out something new about you

1283
00:45:10,864 --> 00:45:13,344
that you had purposely kept to from me

1284
00:45:13,344 --> 00:45:15,585
because you did not feel comfortable or safe

1285
00:45:15,585 --> 00:45:16,579
to tell me,

1286
00:45:17,039 --> 00:45:19,760
I would be upset. Not lock your dick

1287
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,760
in a cage and run out the door

1288
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,619
upset. But I would that would

1289
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:27,119
maybe I'm an old lady. Part of me

1290
00:45:27,119 --> 00:45:28,160
would be like, what have I done to

1291
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:29,280
make it so he couldn't tell me? But

1292
00:45:29,280 --> 00:45:30,719
I also would be like, he's just walked

1293
00:45:30,719 --> 00:45:32,735
around this life with me and there's a

1294
00:45:32,735 --> 00:45:34,675
major part of him I don't know about.

1295
00:45:34,735 --> 00:45:36,815
It would upset me. Like, I would be

1296
00:45:36,815 --> 00:45:38,275
sad or I would be

1297
00:45:38,735 --> 00:45:41,795
confused or I'd have a feeling about it.

1298
00:45:43,295 --> 00:45:43,795
However,

1299
00:45:45,219 --> 00:45:47,880
would I immediately blow up the whole fucking

1300
00:45:47,940 --> 00:45:48,440
relationship

1301
00:45:48,820 --> 00:45:50,900
over it? Well, you know what? Here here

1302
00:45:51,059 --> 00:45:53,380
I'm I'm gonna say something, and and to

1303
00:45:53,380 --> 00:45:54,680
me, this is

1304
00:45:55,539 --> 00:45:57,860
some what I notice Mhmm. About in all

1305
00:45:57,860 --> 00:45:58,360
this.

1306
00:45:59,114 --> 00:45:59,614
K,

1307
00:46:02,954 --> 00:46:03,454
my,

1308
00:46:04,554 --> 00:46:05,755
outlook Mhmm.

1309
00:46:06,155 --> 00:46:08,635
On on her Mhmm. Is is not all

1310
00:46:08,635 --> 00:46:11,355
that favorable. Oh, no. Okay? And and and

1311
00:46:11,355 --> 00:46:14,030
here's here is why. Mhmm. From my perspective

1312
00:46:14,269 --> 00:46:17,090
Mhmm. She values her makeup more than him.

1313
00:46:17,230 --> 00:46:18,670
Oh, god. Yeah. She was like, keep your

1314
00:46:18,670 --> 00:46:19,949
dick locked up in a cage for a

1315
00:46:19,949 --> 00:46:21,869
few days. Not my problem. My fucking makeup,

1316
00:46:21,869 --> 00:46:23,230
a hundred dollars worth of makeup. You threw

1317
00:46:23,230 --> 00:46:25,255
it away. What the hell? Right. Right. That

1318
00:46:25,255 --> 00:46:26,394
that speaks volumes.

1319
00:46:26,695 --> 00:46:28,875
Yes. And you know what's funny? I

1320
00:46:29,175 --> 00:46:31,094
tend like, I don't think it's in my

1321
00:46:31,094 --> 00:46:33,815
nature to be genuinely petty, mostly because I

1322
00:46:33,815 --> 00:46:35,335
have issues I should go to therapy about.

1323
00:46:35,335 --> 00:46:36,795
Mhmm. And so

1324
00:46:37,094 --> 00:46:37,594
sometimes,

1325
00:46:37,974 --> 00:46:40,710
at other times, when I see something like

1326
00:46:40,930 --> 00:46:43,410
they did they broke my $20 thing, so

1327
00:46:43,410 --> 00:46:45,250
I broke their $50 thing kind of thing.

1328
00:46:45,250 --> 00:46:45,989
Yeah. I

1329
00:46:46,610 --> 00:46:47,110
usually

1330
00:46:47,969 --> 00:46:49,190
I get a little like,

1331
00:46:49,650 --> 00:46:51,654
was that the best way to handle that?

1332
00:46:51,654 --> 00:46:53,174
I don't yeah. But because I know how

1333
00:46:53,174 --> 00:46:53,994
I would be.

1334
00:46:54,454 --> 00:46:56,454
This was one of those times I read

1335
00:46:56,454 --> 00:46:56,954
it,

1336
00:46:57,574 --> 00:46:59,894
and I for, like, my my knee jerk

1337
00:46:59,894 --> 00:47:02,375
was, oh. And then I went, no. Bitch,

1338
00:47:02,375 --> 00:47:04,694
you literally like, I don't know anything about

1339
00:47:04,694 --> 00:47:06,134
this cage. I don't know how like, was

1340
00:47:06,134 --> 00:47:08,049
it a good one where, like, it was

1341
00:47:08,049 --> 00:47:09,650
stainless steel and so you could clean around

1342
00:47:09,650 --> 00:47:11,250
it and it wouldn't be the worst thing?

1343
00:47:11,250 --> 00:47:13,190
Was it ill fitting? Was it uncomfortable?

1344
00:47:13,809 --> 00:47:15,409
Was it a shit went off of fucking

1345
00:47:15,409 --> 00:47:17,349
Amazon and he could have gotten, like, gangrene

1346
00:47:17,409 --> 00:47:19,510
on his fucking dick? Like like

1347
00:47:19,889 --> 00:47:23,255
no. The blew up over a thing. Yeah.

1348
00:47:24,275 --> 00:47:26,194
Tossed the key. Didn't tell him for a

1349
00:47:26,194 --> 00:47:27,954
while. Right. Did not tell him for a

1350
00:47:27,954 --> 00:47:29,875
while. And I know. I I don't know

1351
00:47:29,875 --> 00:47:32,054
enough about these things because I've never

1352
00:47:33,155 --> 00:47:35,155
been in that. But I would think, just

1353
00:47:35,155 --> 00:47:37,519
like anything else, there is a a limit

1354
00:47:38,460 --> 00:47:40,140
to having it on. I don't know. I

1355
00:47:40,140 --> 00:47:41,739
don't know for a fact. I have definitely

1356
00:47:41,739 --> 00:47:43,980
seen people online talk about wearing their cage

1357
00:47:43,980 --> 00:47:46,619
for, like, literal days or weeks. Mhmm. But

1358
00:47:46,619 --> 00:47:48,300
also, there are people who will do take

1359
00:47:48,300 --> 00:47:50,994
things to the edge of risk and safety.

1360
00:47:51,295 --> 00:47:53,775
So I don't actually know. I do I

1361
00:47:53,775 --> 00:47:56,494
do quite frankly assume that there's a better

1362
00:47:56,494 --> 00:47:57,855
than good chance if you bought it off

1363
00:47:57,855 --> 00:47:59,554
of some place like Amazon. It's

1364
00:48:00,815 --> 00:48:02,494
it might be made from, like, a reputable

1365
00:48:02,494 --> 00:48:04,335
company who's gotta sell and they're on Amazon,

1366
00:48:04,335 --> 00:48:06,559
but it could also, like, be shit and

1367
00:48:06,559 --> 00:48:08,179
crap and not a good one

1368
00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:10,480
because maybe it was cheap or whatever. Like,

1369
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:11,380
could get another

1370
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:13,380
could get another key,

1371
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:17,280
for $20. Like, if you pay $20 for

1372
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,440
your cock cage, I'm going to assume it

1373
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,059
probably is not built to last.

1374
00:48:22,954 --> 00:48:23,934
But, yeah, like,

1375
00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:24,735
this

1376
00:48:25,195 --> 00:48:26,974
this chick is, like, all the red flags.

1377
00:48:27,275 --> 00:48:28,494
All the red flags. Yeah. Because

1378
00:48:30,235 --> 00:48:31,775
we have this great relationship,

1379
00:48:32,155 --> 00:48:32,655
but

1380
00:48:33,195 --> 00:48:34,875
I see a thing that bothers me and

1381
00:48:34,875 --> 00:48:36,929
my first reaction is to storm out, break

1382
00:48:36,929 --> 00:48:37,989
up, move out,

1383
00:48:38,369 --> 00:48:40,289
like, then it wasn't that great of a

1384
00:48:40,289 --> 00:48:42,369
relationship. It couldn't have been because it was

1385
00:48:42,369 --> 00:48:44,369
a great relationship that you desperately wanted to

1386
00:48:44,369 --> 00:48:44,869
keep.

1387
00:48:45,250 --> 00:48:47,170
You might storm into the bathroom while he's

1388
00:48:47,170 --> 00:48:48,369
in the shower and be like, what the

1389
00:48:48,369 --> 00:48:49,724
fuck is this? You might

1390
00:48:50,204 --> 00:48:52,125
cry your eyeballs out. Maybe you leave for

1391
00:48:52,125 --> 00:48:53,405
a little while to go calm down, go

1392
00:48:53,405 --> 00:48:54,684
talk to a friend, whatever you gotta do,

1393
00:48:54,684 --> 00:48:56,684
but you come the fuck back and be

1394
00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:57,184
like,

1395
00:48:57,724 --> 00:48:58,224
what?

1396
00:48:58,684 --> 00:48:59,644
Like, I just

1397
00:49:00,605 --> 00:49:02,625
I I would I would love for somebody

1398
00:49:03,170 --> 00:49:04,690
in our audience to reach out to me

1399
00:49:04,690 --> 00:49:05,750
and explain to me

1400
00:49:06,130 --> 00:49:09,890
things about the, cock cages. I'm curious. Because

1401
00:49:09,890 --> 00:49:11,650
I, you know, a lot a lot of

1402
00:49:11,650 --> 00:49:13,890
this conversation, even even people in the chat,

1403
00:49:13,890 --> 00:49:14,550
you know,

1404
00:49:15,250 --> 00:49:16,930
like, yeah, is there a time limit? I

1405
00:49:16,930 --> 00:49:17,670
mean, I,

1406
00:49:18,275 --> 00:49:18,934
you know,

1407
00:49:19,875 --> 00:49:21,795
I see things online with these people talking

1408
00:49:21,795 --> 00:49:23,015
about, you know, oh, my

1409
00:49:24,675 --> 00:49:26,275
mistress locked me up for a month, you

1410
00:49:26,275 --> 00:49:28,275
know? I'm thirty days in the cage. And

1411
00:49:28,275 --> 00:49:30,295
I'm damn, like, but, you know,

1412
00:49:31,039 --> 00:49:32,800
how do they go to the bathroom? Oh,

1413
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,239
there are some that are built. Like, you

1414
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,320
could still pee, and you could still, like,

1415
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:37,840
get water and soap in there. Yeah. It

1416
00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:39,280
depends on the kind. I mean, it really

1417
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:41,280
does depend on the kind. I've even read

1418
00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:44,079
articles about somebody who accidentally, and then some

1419
00:49:44,079 --> 00:49:45,139
people who have intentionally,

1420
00:49:45,515 --> 00:49:47,934
gone through airport security wearing their cage.

1421
00:49:48,875 --> 00:49:50,015
And the accidental,

1422
00:49:50,555 --> 00:49:52,555
it was a stainless steel one. And the

1423
00:49:52,555 --> 00:49:54,394
purposeful, it was like a plastic something or

1424
00:49:54,394 --> 00:49:56,555
a silicone something, something that wouldn't, like, make

1425
00:49:56,555 --> 00:49:58,155
the radar go off or whatever. Yeah. But

1426
00:49:58,155 --> 00:50:00,750
the guy who accidentally did it, that that

1427
00:50:00,750 --> 00:50:01,650
was a,

1428
00:50:02,110 --> 00:50:04,910
an uncomfortable moment for everybody involved. Yeah.

1429
00:50:05,789 --> 00:50:07,070
So, like, yeah. Here's

1430
00:50:07,869 --> 00:50:09,309
when you said you want somebody to reach

1431
00:50:09,309 --> 00:50:10,670
out to you and spend cockages, and I

1432
00:50:10,670 --> 00:50:12,255
think that's great, and I please feel free

1433
00:50:12,255 --> 00:50:13,934
to reach out to them. Here's what was

1434
00:50:13,934 --> 00:50:16,174
my immediate thought. There's not a submissive fucking

1435
00:50:16,174 --> 00:50:17,775
bone in your body. There might be bottom

1436
00:50:17,775 --> 00:50:20,014
energy, but there is not submissive energy in

1437
00:50:20,014 --> 00:50:20,674
your body.

1438
00:50:21,054 --> 00:50:23,454
But you are a fucking hedonist who loves

1439
00:50:23,454 --> 00:50:26,194
to try new shit. And I immediately thought,

1440
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,719
is he gonna try a cock cage just

1441
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:31,960
to see what it feels like, just to

1442
00:50:31,960 --> 00:50:34,539
get himself all worked up, and then

1443
00:50:36,840 --> 00:50:39,159
have take the fucker off and, like, have

1444
00:50:39,159 --> 00:50:40,140
fun with it?

1445
00:50:41,505 --> 00:50:43,744
One never knows. I could see you doing

1446
00:50:43,744 --> 00:50:45,505
it. I could see you doing it. You

1447
00:50:45,505 --> 00:50:46,944
know me too well. I could see you

1448
00:50:46,944 --> 00:50:47,684
doing it.

1449
00:50:49,505 --> 00:50:50,804
Just for the sensorial

1450
00:50:51,425 --> 00:50:54,565
experience of it. Yeah. Also, I can imagine.

1451
00:50:55,289 --> 00:50:57,289
I'm curious. I assume this. Tell me if

1452
00:50:57,289 --> 00:50:59,849
I'm wrong. If you had a partner that

1453
00:50:59,849 --> 00:51:01,130
wanted to be and you were willing to

1454
00:51:01,130 --> 00:51:02,429
put them in a cock cage,

1455
00:51:02,730 --> 00:51:04,090
I can see you at least kind of

1456
00:51:04,090 --> 00:51:05,690
trying it on to be like, how does

1457
00:51:05,690 --> 00:51:07,769
this fucking thing even work? Like, not wearing

1458
00:51:07,769 --> 00:51:09,974
it long term. Like Be curious about it.

1459
00:51:09,974 --> 00:51:12,394
Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, just like I've I've,

1460
00:51:12,855 --> 00:51:15,094
you know, tried vloggers. I tried paddles on

1461
00:51:15,094 --> 00:51:16,234
myself. You know?

1462
00:51:17,255 --> 00:51:18,954
It it helps me understand.

1463
00:51:19,815 --> 00:51:22,155
I just I just think the the

1464
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:24,460
sensory and pleasure seeking,

1465
00:51:25,079 --> 00:51:26,280
part of you would be like, I'll just

1466
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:27,800
wear this shit for, like, a couple hours.

1467
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,880
Let's see what happens. The the the head

1468
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:31,719
and the side of me are Oh, yeah.

1469
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:32,380
Oh, yeah.

1470
00:51:33,159 --> 00:51:35,400
Mhmm. I mean, you've worn other things in

1471
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,565
public that only I clocked.

1472
00:51:41,625 --> 00:51:43,005
And still, this

1473
00:51:43,625 --> 00:51:46,264
is bottom energy sure, submissive no, because guess

1474
00:51:46,264 --> 00:51:48,105
who was not allowed to touch the remote

1475
00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:48,605
control

1476
00:51:49,065 --> 00:51:51,589
as he was traveling forth in this world.

1477
00:51:52,849 --> 00:51:55,109
He wasn't giving me control of it. So,

1478
00:51:58,690 --> 00:52:01,889
she's, the asshole here Yeah. For probably all

1479
00:52:01,889 --> 00:52:02,594
kinds of reasons.

1480
00:52:05,074 --> 00:52:07,734
Yeah. You know, I'm not usually vindictive,

1481
00:52:08,195 --> 00:52:08,695
vengeful,

1482
00:52:09,074 --> 00:52:11,954
want revenge, or petty. But in this case,

1483
00:52:11,954 --> 00:52:13,875
for all all that I can imagine was

1484
00:52:13,875 --> 00:52:15,255
the history of their relationship,

1485
00:52:17,019 --> 00:52:18,780
Yeah. I don't blame him for fucking throwing

1486
00:52:18,780 --> 00:52:21,900
her makeup out after literally keeping him locked

1487
00:52:21,900 --> 00:52:24,380
in Yeah. An item for Right. You know,

1488
00:52:24,380 --> 00:52:26,300
an an unknown at that point amount of

1489
00:52:26,300 --> 00:52:28,059
time that it would have been. Yeah. Yeah.

1490
00:52:28,059 --> 00:52:30,860
No. That you know. No. He he was

1491
00:52:31,099 --> 00:52:32,344
as far as I'm

1492
00:52:32,644 --> 00:52:33,385
concerned, with

1493
00:52:34,244 --> 00:52:36,485
just from reading everything that's gone on, he

1494
00:52:36,485 --> 00:52:38,905
was well within his rights. Oh, yeah. Okay?

1495
00:52:38,965 --> 00:52:40,505
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And

1496
00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:42,105
yeah. Okay.

1497
00:52:42,724 --> 00:52:44,885
So do you wanna try the one that

1498
00:52:44,885 --> 00:52:48,050
I was like, meh? The the sure. Okay.

1499
00:52:48,050 --> 00:52:50,849
Sure. I was like, hey. Maybe it leads

1500
00:52:50,849 --> 00:52:53,190
to a a a cool conversation.

1501
00:52:53,570 --> 00:52:55,410
Okay. But it was like, meh. What you

1502
00:52:55,410 --> 00:52:56,610
got? Tell you what, just,

1503
00:52:57,489 --> 00:52:59,670
pull some filler for a second. Okay.

1504
00:53:00,434 --> 00:53:03,155
This is filler. I'm giving filler. JB has

1505
00:53:03,155 --> 00:53:03,894
walked away.

1506
00:53:04,594 --> 00:53:05,894
Filler, filler, filler.

1507
00:53:06,355 --> 00:53:08,914
This is filler. Oh, you're too funny. I

1508
00:53:08,914 --> 00:53:11,635
know. I'm fucking hilarious. Y'all, he is well,

1509
00:53:11,635 --> 00:53:13,155
he's in the room, but he's walked away

1510
00:53:13,155 --> 00:53:13,894
and has

1511
00:53:14,570 --> 00:53:16,010
got something he needs to do, apparently.

1512
00:53:17,690 --> 00:53:19,610
But, like, it's not like he got up

1513
00:53:19,610 --> 00:53:21,849
and let Lola in or out and then

1514
00:53:21,849 --> 00:53:23,690
in and then out and then in and

1515
00:53:23,690 --> 00:53:25,289
then out again. She's looking like the yo

1516
00:53:25,289 --> 00:53:26,030
yo today.

1517
00:53:27,695 --> 00:53:30,735
And yet she is taking well, she's looking

1518
00:53:30,735 --> 00:53:32,735
like she's taking a nap. Don't worry. One

1519
00:53:32,735 --> 00:53:34,994
ear is up so she can listen.

1520
00:53:36,815 --> 00:53:38,835
Mhmm. Okay. Yeah. So

1521
00:53:39,369 --> 00:53:41,530
she's our best good girl, but, man, it's

1522
00:53:41,530 --> 00:53:43,070
in out, in out,

1523
00:53:43,449 --> 00:53:45,609
in out, in out today. It's feeling a

1524
00:53:45,609 --> 00:53:46,750
little stuffy in here.

1525
00:53:47,130 --> 00:53:47,869
Thank you.

1526
00:53:48,730 --> 00:53:50,030
We are we are hitting

1527
00:53:51,289 --> 00:53:54,329
Florida spring, which is, like, just Florida summer

1528
00:53:54,329 --> 00:53:55,094
light. Okay.

1529
00:53:56,135 --> 00:53:57,034
Here we go.

1530
00:53:58,295 --> 00:53:59,355
Am I the asshole

1531
00:53:59,655 --> 00:54:01,914
for not fully covering up bruises?

1532
00:54:03,335 --> 00:54:04,554
I, 21 female.

1533
00:54:06,054 --> 00:54:07,414
No. Let me start at the top because

1534
00:54:07,414 --> 00:54:08,849
I feel this. I feel like this is

1535
00:54:08,849 --> 00:54:10,769
kind of a dumb argument, but I'm second

1536
00:54:10,769 --> 00:54:11,829
guessing myself.

1537
00:54:12,210 --> 00:54:15,089
Okay. K. I, 21 female, have some high

1538
00:54:15,089 --> 00:54:18,369
impact hobbies, fighting sports, and I and I'm

1539
00:54:18,369 --> 00:54:21,829
exploring kink safely. So I usually have bruises

1540
00:54:21,889 --> 00:54:24,355
at any given time. For the kink bruises,

1541
00:54:24,734 --> 00:54:26,255
I do try to make sure that they

1542
00:54:26,255 --> 00:54:28,974
stay in bathing suit areas or places normally

1543
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,875
covered by clothing since they're often more identifiable,

1544
00:54:32,335 --> 00:54:34,335
but it's not always possible between the two

1545
00:54:34,335 --> 00:54:34,835
pastimes.

1546
00:54:35,295 --> 00:54:38,219
If anyone asks, they're sports bruises. It's never

1547
00:54:38,219 --> 00:54:39,599
really been a problem before

1548
00:54:39,980 --> 00:54:42,619
now except for when I dress out at

1549
00:54:42,619 --> 00:54:43,280
the gym.

1550
00:54:44,059 --> 00:54:46,160
Much love to the older ladies who kindly

1551
00:54:46,219 --> 00:54:46,960
but mistakenly

1552
00:54:47,260 --> 00:54:50,460
slipped me domestic violence crisis numbers and asked

1553
00:54:50,460 --> 00:54:52,594
if I need to talk. They're doing the

1554
00:54:52,594 --> 00:54:53,974
Lord's work. Yes. They are.

1555
00:54:54,835 --> 00:54:56,434
It's really hot where I live right now,

1556
00:54:56,434 --> 00:54:58,034
like, worse than usual this year. So I

1557
00:54:58,034 --> 00:54:59,795
live in shorts and tank tops when not

1558
00:54:59,795 --> 00:55:00,375
at work.

1559
00:55:00,675 --> 00:55:02,434
All my friends know what's up and aren't

1560
00:55:02,434 --> 00:55:04,289
bothered by it. So when we're hanging out,

1561
00:55:04,369 --> 00:55:06,289
I don't always go to the extra trouble

1562
00:55:06,289 --> 00:55:07,349
to cover up.

1563
00:55:07,730 --> 00:55:10,309
The one exception is Anna, twenty two female.

1564
00:55:10,690 --> 00:55:13,250
Anna found out by accident through someone else

1565
00:55:13,250 --> 00:55:15,730
that I'm into kink and has been really

1566
00:55:15,730 --> 00:55:18,014
weird and snide about it ever since.

1567
00:55:18,894 --> 00:55:20,974
I just came off a really great tournament

1568
00:55:20,974 --> 00:55:23,375
weekend, so I'm pretty marked up. My apartment

1569
00:55:23,375 --> 00:55:24,974
complex has a pool, so I and some

1570
00:55:24,974 --> 00:55:26,734
friends who live in the same complex were

1571
00:55:26,734 --> 00:55:28,914
hanging out and cooling off yesterday evening.

1572
00:55:29,295 --> 00:55:31,054
Anna showed up with one of them and

1573
00:55:31,054 --> 00:55:33,409
flipped her shit when she saw me, saying

1574
00:55:33,409 --> 00:55:36,049
that I'm disgusting for flaunting my bruises and

1575
00:55:36,049 --> 00:55:37,029
that I'm retraumatizing

1576
00:55:37,809 --> 00:55:41,029
abuse survivors by not being fully covered up.

1577
00:55:41,250 --> 00:55:42,769
She left in a huff when I argued

1578
00:55:42,769 --> 00:55:44,855
that I'm not exactly skimpily dressed in a

1579
00:55:44,855 --> 00:55:45,755
one piece swimsuit

1580
00:55:46,054 --> 00:55:48,054
and that she knows full well these are

1581
00:55:48,054 --> 00:55:50,454
sports bruises given that I posted a video

1582
00:55:50,454 --> 00:55:52,135
of my final four bout to the group

1583
00:55:52,135 --> 00:55:53,034
chat on Sunday.

1584
00:55:53,654 --> 00:55:56,214
Since then, she's been demanding an apology for

1585
00:55:56,214 --> 00:55:58,714
being exposed to my kink without consent.

1586
00:55:59,219 --> 00:56:00,840
Some of the friends think I should apologize

1587
00:56:00,900 --> 00:56:02,820
to shut her up, while others think she's

1588
00:56:02,820 --> 00:56:05,699
nuts. I just don't think existing in public

1589
00:56:05,699 --> 00:56:08,340
with bruises is anything to apologize for? Y'all

1590
00:56:08,340 --> 00:56:10,900
tell me. She's not. No. Maybe nuts is

1591
00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:13,264
unkind, but she's fucking nuts. What the hell?

1592
00:56:13,324 --> 00:56:15,644
Sorry. I needed to say that. What what

1593
00:56:15,644 --> 00:56:16,464
do you think,

1594
00:56:16,764 --> 00:56:17,264
daddy?

1595
00:56:20,525 --> 00:56:22,204
It's unkind of me to call her nuts,

1596
00:56:22,204 --> 00:56:24,304
but also Well she's judgy.

1597
00:56:24,819 --> 00:56:26,420
You know, and and that and that's the

1598
00:56:26,420 --> 00:56:28,519
thing I was thinking about. You know what?

1599
00:56:30,579 --> 00:56:32,440
I I almost wanna say

1600
00:56:33,780 --> 00:56:36,980
to to to one aspect that, you know,

1601
00:56:36,980 --> 00:56:38,920
well, Anna kind of does have a point,

1602
00:56:39,539 --> 00:56:40,039
but.

1603
00:56:40,664 --> 00:56:42,025
She only has a point because she knows

1604
00:56:42,025 --> 00:56:44,045
and she doesn't approve of the kink. Yeah.

1605
00:56:44,184 --> 00:56:46,025
Being exposed to the kink will be watching

1606
00:56:46,025 --> 00:56:47,724
this chick get her bruises. Right.

1607
00:56:48,105 --> 00:56:50,265
Or knowing that every single bruise on her

1608
00:56:50,265 --> 00:56:52,184
body is a kink thing and that it's

1609
00:56:52,184 --> 00:56:55,230
being actively talked about where Anna clearly is

1610
00:56:55,230 --> 00:56:57,230
not feeling comfortable. But she doesn't hasn't seemed

1611
00:56:57,230 --> 00:56:59,469
to have spoken up that she's uncomfortable either.

1612
00:56:59,469 --> 00:57:01,789
Yeah. She's just being judgmental. Well, and and

1613
00:57:01,789 --> 00:57:03,969
that's A path of a graph though. Exactly.

1614
00:57:04,110 --> 00:57:04,769
You know,

1615
00:57:06,190 --> 00:57:08,449
reading how she worded her thing,

1616
00:57:08,750 --> 00:57:09,969
you know, I mean,

1617
00:57:10,684 --> 00:57:12,545
if it was somebody who's, like, you know,

1618
00:57:13,244 --> 00:57:13,885
be like,

1619
00:57:14,684 --> 00:57:16,284
you know, I see you got those bruises.

1620
00:57:16,284 --> 00:57:17,644
I know, you know, they could be from

1621
00:57:17,644 --> 00:57:19,164
one or the other thing, but don't you

1622
00:57:19,164 --> 00:57:19,664
think

1623
00:57:20,045 --> 00:57:21,025
showing that might

1624
00:57:21,724 --> 00:57:23,804
affect some people in some way? You know,

1625
00:57:23,804 --> 00:57:26,250
I I I It that's a hard one.

1626
00:57:26,250 --> 00:57:28,190
If I know for a fact

1627
00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:30,489
that I'm gonna be in spaces or I'm

1628
00:57:30,489 --> 00:57:32,670
with a group of people and I'm like

1629
00:57:33,449 --> 00:57:34,590
moderately sure

1630
00:57:35,130 --> 00:57:37,050
that somebody, especially somebody I know and care

1631
00:57:37,050 --> 00:57:38,730
about, is triggered by it, I'm gonna do

1632
00:57:38,730 --> 00:57:40,750
my fucking best to cover it up.

1633
00:57:41,534 --> 00:57:43,454
If I don't wanna have to explain it,

1634
00:57:43,454 --> 00:57:46,275
which she clearly talks about, cover up.

1635
00:57:46,574 --> 00:57:48,815
But if she's trying to keep kink bruises

1636
00:57:48,815 --> 00:57:51,534
in swimsuit areas so that nobody has to

1637
00:57:51,534 --> 00:57:53,934
see that Yeah. That's the responsibility she bears

1638
00:57:53,934 --> 00:57:56,230
to the public, quite frankly. And the other

1639
00:57:56,230 --> 00:57:58,010
bruises are from sports

1640
00:57:58,309 --> 00:58:00,550
Right. Then the what the little old ladies

1641
00:58:00,550 --> 00:58:02,230
at the gym do, perfect. Spot on. That's

1642
00:58:02,230 --> 00:58:03,510
what we should all do if we are

1643
00:58:03,510 --> 00:58:05,590
uncertain. Are you okay? Do you need help?

1644
00:58:05,590 --> 00:58:06,869
Let a person go, yeah. Yeah. I got

1645
00:58:06,869 --> 00:58:08,710
this doing MMA. I got this doing this.

1646
00:58:08,710 --> 00:58:10,070
I got you know? You don't have to

1647
00:58:10,070 --> 00:58:12,464
tell anybody, hey, sports bruises, that's a great

1648
00:58:12,464 --> 00:58:14,484
excuse for kinksters who do not play sports,

1649
00:58:14,545 --> 00:58:16,625
but sometimes they'll get bruised where other people

1650
00:58:16,625 --> 00:58:17,444
can see them.

1651
00:58:18,224 --> 00:58:18,724
This

1652
00:58:19,025 --> 00:58:19,525
the

1653
00:58:20,545 --> 00:58:23,605
I want to always, always, always be sensitive

1654
00:58:23,664 --> 00:58:25,045
to other people's triggers

1655
00:58:25,389 --> 00:58:26,750
because I have my own and we all

1656
00:58:26,750 --> 00:58:29,230
have our things and, man, a trigger can

1657
00:58:29,230 --> 00:58:30,690
fuck you up.

1658
00:58:31,230 --> 00:58:31,969
And so

1659
00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:35,789
when in at certain times and in certain

1660
00:58:35,789 --> 00:58:38,510
spaces when you can basically be guaranteed that

1661
00:58:38,510 --> 00:58:39,329
there is somebody

1662
00:58:39,885 --> 00:58:43,164
in your vicinity who is directly interacting with

1663
00:58:43,164 --> 00:58:45,405
you, that they might be triggered by this,

1664
00:58:45,405 --> 00:58:47,804
then yes. For me, as a sense of

1665
00:58:47,804 --> 00:58:48,704
personal responsibility,

1666
00:58:49,164 --> 00:58:51,005
I'm gonna do my best to minimize those

1667
00:58:51,005 --> 00:58:52,065
triggers. However,

1668
00:58:52,605 --> 00:58:55,505
we cannot walk through public life

1669
00:58:56,469 --> 00:58:58,950
worried that the random person across the parking

1670
00:58:58,950 --> 00:59:00,869
lot saw something. I don't want them to

1671
00:59:00,869 --> 00:59:02,789
be triggered. I don't want the motherfucker who

1672
00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:04,710
did it to them that triggered them to

1673
00:59:04,710 --> 00:59:06,090
have done it to them. Right?

1674
00:59:06,710 --> 00:59:09,590
But if I only can take so bear

1675
00:59:09,590 --> 00:59:11,210
so much personal responsibility,

1676
00:59:11,724 --> 00:59:12,844
And the rest of the time, I just

1677
00:59:12,844 --> 00:59:15,644
gotta fucking live my life. I know. You

1678
00:59:15,644 --> 00:59:17,164
know? Like, it it would be a little

1679
00:59:17,164 --> 00:59:18,925
bit different if the marks and bruises were,

1680
00:59:18,925 --> 00:59:21,644
like, you choked me out and I got,

1681
00:59:21,644 --> 00:59:24,549
like, cuff burns on my wrist. I would

1682
00:59:24,549 --> 00:59:25,989
probably not go out for a little bit

1683
00:59:25,989 --> 00:59:27,909
because now I look like a kidnap victim.

1684
00:59:27,909 --> 00:59:30,329
Like, people are gonna have questions. Right.

1685
00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:31,929
But, like,

1686
00:59:32,710 --> 00:59:34,789
what Anna could have done was said, I

1687
00:59:34,789 --> 00:59:36,469
am really uncomfortable knowing that some of these

1688
00:59:36,469 --> 00:59:39,135
bruises are from kink. Maybe invited the conversation.

1689
00:59:39,135 --> 00:59:40,335
That would be up to this person, how

1690
00:59:40,335 --> 00:59:42,114
much they wanted to talk to this person.

1691
00:59:42,175 --> 00:59:43,474
But then at that point,

1692
00:59:43,934 --> 00:59:45,855
if that person is the only one in

1693
00:59:45,855 --> 00:59:47,614
the group who has a problem with it,

1694
00:59:47,614 --> 00:59:49,375
then that person hangs out with the other

1695
00:59:49,375 --> 00:59:50,515
people in other ways.

1696
00:59:50,820 --> 00:59:52,599
You remove yourself from the situation

1697
00:59:52,900 --> 00:59:55,059
if you're the only fucking one in the

1698
00:59:55,059 --> 00:59:56,840
group that doesn't like it.

1699
00:59:57,619 --> 00:59:58,760
That's your responsibility,

1700
00:59:59,140 --> 01:00:01,140
I think. Now there will be times where

1701
01:00:01,140 --> 01:00:03,059
you cannot remove yourself, and that's where we

1702
01:00:03,059 --> 01:00:05,305
use our our big kid voices, and we

1703
01:00:05,305 --> 01:00:06,925
go, hey. I am so uncomfortable.

1704
01:00:07,785 --> 01:00:09,545
I know I'm probably asking a lot, blah

1705
01:00:09,545 --> 01:00:11,385
blah blah blah blah. Right? Mhmm. But she

1706
01:00:11,385 --> 01:00:13,324
was at basically at home

1707
01:00:13,785 --> 01:00:16,105
at a pool on a hot day. What

1708
01:00:16,105 --> 01:00:18,690
is she supposed to do? Because one person

1709
01:00:18,690 --> 01:00:20,469
who never fucking talked to her

1710
01:00:20,929 --> 01:00:21,989
is super sensitive

1711
01:00:22,289 --> 01:00:25,030
and judgmental about kink. Mhmm. Because

1712
01:00:25,730 --> 01:00:28,150
that was not her saying I am triggered.

1713
01:00:28,609 --> 01:00:30,369
That was her going, somebody could be triggered.

1714
01:00:30,369 --> 01:00:32,210
How dare you? Right. This is gross. This

1715
01:00:32,210 --> 01:00:34,505
is awful. You're a bad person because you

1716
01:00:34,505 --> 01:00:35,164
do kink.

1717
01:00:36,184 --> 01:00:36,684
Yeah.

1718
01:00:39,945 --> 01:00:41,405
Now everybody has to, like,

1719
01:00:41,704 --> 01:00:44,105
find their, like, their own path. Mhmm. If

1720
01:00:44,105 --> 01:00:45,625
for you, you're like, I'm not gonna do

1721
01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:47,224
anything I think might even trigger a stranger.

1722
01:00:47,224 --> 01:00:49,920
I'm gonna watch myself. I support that. And

1723
01:00:49,920 --> 01:00:51,519
if I'm you know, we all have our

1724
01:00:51,519 --> 01:00:53,440
blind spots. I don't know what I don't

1725
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:55,039
know. You know, if I'm thinking about it,

1726
01:00:55,039 --> 01:00:56,400
it's why when I go to the doctor's

1727
01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:58,000
office, I try not to wear anything with

1728
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:00,239
a scent because I had one doctor's office

1729
01:01:00,239 --> 01:01:01,679
say, oh, by the way, don't come in

1730
01:01:01,679 --> 01:01:03,219
here with perfume on because

1731
01:01:03,545 --> 01:01:04,905
we affect other patients. We have people with

1732
01:01:04,905 --> 01:01:06,265
allergies, and I think it was an allergy

1733
01:01:06,265 --> 01:01:08,425
specialist who said it. Right? And that for

1734
01:01:08,425 --> 01:01:10,585
me meant I now don't go to a

1735
01:01:10,585 --> 01:01:12,744
a place of medical anything wearing a lot

1736
01:01:12,744 --> 01:01:14,345
of scent or any scent on me if

1737
01:01:14,345 --> 01:01:16,025
I can help it, because now I'm aware

1738
01:01:16,025 --> 01:01:18,340
of those things. So accommodating

1739
01:01:18,640 --> 01:01:20,179
strangers, I think, is wonderful,

1740
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:24,420
but sometimes we just fucking exist. Yeah. Yeah.

1741
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:26,900
And I don't think she was being irresponsible

1742
01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:29,585
by existing with a group who understood what

1743
01:01:29,585 --> 01:01:31,824
they were seeing and a willingness to talk

1744
01:01:31,824 --> 01:01:33,585
about if somebody came up and said, what

1745
01:01:33,744 --> 01:01:34,484
are you okay?

1746
01:01:34,864 --> 01:01:36,005
What happened to you?

1747
01:01:36,304 --> 01:01:37,364
You know? Yeah.

1748
01:01:37,744 --> 01:01:39,204
I mean, you know, there's

1749
01:01:40,464 --> 01:01:42,304
you you could look at this in so

1750
01:01:42,304 --> 01:01:44,864
many different ways. And I think everybody's entitled

1751
01:01:44,864 --> 01:01:46,920
to have their own response in how they

1752
01:01:46,920 --> 01:01:49,639
would behave in that situation. Absolutely. I mean,

1753
01:01:49,639 --> 01:01:50,780
in this person's case,

1754
01:01:51,079 --> 01:01:53,880
the bruises are not all from kink. And

1755
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:55,480
most of them in this situation, they just

1756
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:57,320
had a match. They would be covered in

1757
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:00,315
bruises. Right. And, you know, then like I

1758
01:02:00,315 --> 01:02:02,175
say, you look at it from different things,

1759
01:02:02,474 --> 01:02:03,614
you know, it's like,

1760
01:02:04,875 --> 01:02:06,074
in a way, you know, you could say,

1761
01:02:06,074 --> 01:02:08,414
well, did other people consent to seeing those

1762
01:02:08,635 --> 01:02:10,315
kind of things? You know, so it it's

1763
01:02:10,315 --> 01:02:12,875
it's And yet, think about this. We walk

1764
01:02:12,875 --> 01:02:15,059
around public. I have to see shit I

1765
01:02:15,059 --> 01:02:16,519
didn't consent to all the

1766
01:02:16,820 --> 01:02:19,860
time. Politics in America exists. I didn't consent

1767
01:02:19,860 --> 01:02:20,840
to that shit.

1768
01:02:21,380 --> 01:02:24,340
Right? We walk around in life and we

1769
01:02:24,340 --> 01:02:25,860
see people doing shit and as long as

1770
01:02:25,860 --> 01:02:28,200
it's not harmful or illegal and harmful by

1771
01:02:28,505 --> 01:02:30,605
by whatever standard you have for that,

1772
01:02:30,905 --> 01:02:32,824
there are people I watch people walk down

1773
01:02:32,824 --> 01:02:35,565
the fucking sidewalks with MAGA hats on.

1774
01:02:35,864 --> 01:02:37,785
I'm offended, but I don't tell them to

1775
01:02:37,785 --> 01:02:39,625
take it off. Mhmm. You know what I

1776
01:02:39,625 --> 01:02:41,704
mean? There's, like, there's there's a line. There

1777
01:02:41,704 --> 01:02:44,220
is really line. If she was being paraded

1778
01:02:44,519 --> 01:02:46,700
down the road by her dom

1779
01:02:47,160 --> 01:02:48,780
whipping her at the back,

1780
01:02:49,559 --> 01:02:50,860
yeah, that's a problem.

1781
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:54,039
I'm gonna say that's public kink. Stop that

1782
01:02:54,039 --> 01:02:55,099
shit. That's irresponsible.

1783
01:02:57,775 --> 01:02:59,695
But I'm existing in my body and my

1784
01:02:59,695 --> 01:03:01,235
body happens to have bruises.

1785
01:03:02,414 --> 01:03:04,735
I mean, sometimes bruises not in this person's

1786
01:03:04,735 --> 01:03:06,815
situation. They have a very specific situation. Right.

1787
01:03:06,815 --> 01:03:08,335
But there are people who bruise because you

1788
01:03:08,335 --> 01:03:09,775
touched them a little too hard. They have,

1789
01:03:09,775 --> 01:03:13,230
like like, whether it's, chronic conditions or, like,

1790
01:03:13,690 --> 01:03:15,150
skin stuff or whatever whatever.

1791
01:03:16,170 --> 01:03:18,010
I mean, should they have to walk around

1792
01:03:18,010 --> 01:03:20,170
all the time worried and cover themselves up?

1793
01:03:20,170 --> 01:03:22,329
Like, I just there's gotta everybody has their

1794
01:03:22,329 --> 01:03:23,930
own individual line. I'm not trying to tell

1795
01:03:23,930 --> 01:03:25,849
anybody what your I'm not daddy, I'm not

1796
01:03:25,849 --> 01:03:27,344
trying to tell you what your line is.

1797
01:03:27,505 --> 01:03:29,264
Like, if you're like, hell no. That that's

1798
01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:30,385
too far from me. I'm gonna cover that

1799
01:03:30,385 --> 01:03:31,125
up. I don't

1800
01:03:31,425 --> 01:03:33,905
I support that, but I'm not gonna judge

1801
01:03:33,905 --> 01:03:35,664
somebody else who is like, all my friends

1802
01:03:35,664 --> 01:03:38,385
know. I have a reasonable explanation. I'm at

1803
01:03:38,385 --> 01:03:41,260
home. Yes. The public space. And they're not

1804
01:03:41,260 --> 01:03:43,599
engaging in the thing that causes bruises.

1805
01:03:44,700 --> 01:03:47,099
True. True. And they do what so many

1806
01:03:47,099 --> 01:03:49,500
kinksters do. They have a response for when

1807
01:03:49,500 --> 01:03:51,099
it is a kink bruise that they couldn't

1808
01:03:51,099 --> 01:03:53,465
hide. It's a sports bruise. It's the same

1809
01:03:53,465 --> 01:03:55,385
reason when people ask me what I do

1810
01:03:55,385 --> 01:03:57,085
for a living, I'm like, I'm a freelance

1811
01:03:57,144 --> 01:03:59,785
writer who writes about business. We know that's

1812
01:03:59,785 --> 01:04:00,285
bullshit.

1813
01:04:01,144 --> 01:04:02,285
But I'm not inviting

1814
01:04:02,664 --> 01:04:03,485
total strangers

1815
01:04:03,945 --> 01:04:05,864
into that. In that space. Yeah. Neither is

1816
01:04:05,864 --> 01:04:08,650
this person. Yeah. Neither is this person.

1817
01:04:12,309 --> 01:04:12,809
Yeah.

1818
01:04:14,710 --> 01:04:16,230
Junie brought up a good thing in the

1819
01:04:16,230 --> 01:04:18,730
live chat. Mhmm. It was not okay for

1820
01:04:19,029 --> 01:04:20,715
one friend to outer to another

1821
01:04:21,914 --> 01:04:24,235
friend. Because maybe she didn't tell Anna the

1822
01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:26,795
friend because she knew Anna could not handle

1823
01:04:26,795 --> 01:04:29,114
it. Yeah. I mean, sometimes we don't tell

1824
01:04:29,114 --> 01:04:30,875
people shit because we know they're not the

1825
01:04:30,875 --> 01:04:32,635
one to tell. We might not know why

1826
01:04:32,635 --> 01:04:33,914
they're not the one to tell, but we

1827
01:04:33,914 --> 01:04:36,309
know. Don't tell that one this thing. They

1828
01:04:36,309 --> 01:04:38,150
will not handle it well, and this is

1829
01:04:38,150 --> 01:04:38,650
proof.

1830
01:04:39,510 --> 01:04:40,469
But I'm still, like

1831
01:04:42,309 --> 01:04:43,989
I I think it's because we've I've been

1832
01:04:43,989 --> 01:04:45,589
reading a lot of questions, and we did

1833
01:04:45,589 --> 01:04:47,750
one for an episode where the the person

1834
01:04:47,750 --> 01:04:49,815
asking the question is, like, in their twenties,

1835
01:04:49,815 --> 01:04:51,335
and so I'm officially at an age. I

1836
01:04:51,335 --> 01:04:53,414
could be your mama. And so I'm going

1837
01:04:53,414 --> 01:04:54,775
full on mom with some of this stuff,

1838
01:04:54,775 --> 01:04:56,295
and I'm like, okay. I'm looking at their

1839
01:04:56,295 --> 01:04:58,614
age. There's a lot of growth and wisdom,

1840
01:04:58,614 --> 01:05:00,155
hopefully, to come in their future.

1841
01:05:00,454 --> 01:05:02,775
Right. This is how I don't want 21

1842
01:05:02,775 --> 01:05:04,409
year olds to behave. I think you were

1843
01:05:04,409 --> 01:05:06,809
capable of more maturity. Right. But I'm also

1844
01:05:06,809 --> 01:05:08,989
not surprised by it. Mhmm.

1845
01:05:09,609 --> 01:05:11,369
You know, I wanna tell the original poster,

1846
01:05:11,369 --> 01:05:12,730
I I get why you were second guessing

1847
01:05:12,730 --> 01:05:14,489
it. Don't second guess yourself. You're doing okay.

1848
01:05:14,489 --> 01:05:15,289
There's always room for improvement. There's always room

1849
01:05:15,289 --> 01:05:17,815
for improvement. There's always room for maybe I

1850
01:05:17,815 --> 01:05:19,815
can be more careful in the future with

1851
01:05:19,815 --> 01:05:22,715
blah blah blah. Right? Of course. Mhmm.

1852
01:05:23,335 --> 01:05:23,835
But

1853
01:05:24,535 --> 01:05:25,114
they weren't

1854
01:05:25,894 --> 01:05:26,954
they were not

1855
01:05:27,255 --> 01:05:29,494
doing something wrong by just existing in their

1856
01:05:29,494 --> 01:05:31,260
body, and it happened to have bruises on

1857
01:05:31,739 --> 01:05:32,860
it. I mean, that would that would be

1858
01:05:32,860 --> 01:05:34,059
like telling a victim you should not go

1859
01:05:34,059 --> 01:05:35,340
out because somebody else might see you in

1860
01:05:35,340 --> 01:05:37,579
your bruises. I don't like that either. That's

1861
01:05:37,579 --> 01:05:38,639
not a good one

1862
01:05:39,820 --> 01:05:41,980
either. Like, yeah. I I think I think

1863
01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:43,980
to be a responsible citizen in the world,

1864
01:05:43,980 --> 01:05:44,960
if you are aware

1865
01:05:45,335 --> 01:05:47,114
of things that can be super

1866
01:05:47,974 --> 01:05:48,474
psychologically

1867
01:05:49,014 --> 01:05:51,574
bothering to somebody, if you can minimize it

1868
01:05:51,574 --> 01:05:52,074
too.

1869
01:05:52,454 --> 01:05:53,674
Mhmm. But,

1870
01:05:54,934 --> 01:05:56,534
I mean, sometimes you gotta exist in the

1871
01:05:56,534 --> 01:05:58,074
world and the world's gotta suck.

1872
01:05:59,139 --> 01:06:01,300
And so now you you learn better. Over

1873
01:06:01,300 --> 01:06:03,079
time, you learn more and then you can

1874
01:06:03,139 --> 01:06:05,780
choose to do better and more. Yeah. True.

1875
01:06:05,780 --> 01:06:06,280
True.

1876
01:06:06,579 --> 01:06:07,079
So,

1877
01:06:10,985 --> 01:06:13,224
silent pointed out, oh, this was the meh

1878
01:06:13,224 --> 01:06:13,724
question.

1879
01:06:14,585 --> 01:06:15,085
Right?

1880
01:06:15,945 --> 01:06:17,704
Alright. Well, I think it was because to

1881
01:06:17,704 --> 01:06:19,945
me, it was not quite directly related to

1882
01:06:19,945 --> 01:06:21,785
kink. Mhmm. It was related to all kinds

1883
01:06:21,785 --> 01:06:23,704
of other topics, and I was like Kink.

1884
01:06:24,025 --> 01:06:24,525
Meh.

1885
01:06:24,905 --> 01:06:26,609
Yeah. Yeah. But

1886
01:06:27,789 --> 01:06:28,289
apparently,

1887
01:06:28,670 --> 01:06:31,389
I felt strongly about that one. I did

1888
01:06:31,389 --> 01:06:33,230
not bully you into seeing my side of

1889
01:06:33,230 --> 01:06:35,710
things. Did I, daddy? Nope. Okay. Good. Mm-mm.

1890
01:06:35,710 --> 01:06:37,309
You still feel like an autonomous human being

1891
01:06:37,309 --> 01:06:39,309
with your own fucking opinions on it? Yes.

1892
01:06:39,309 --> 01:06:40,449
Okay. Good. Okay.

1893
01:06:40,750 --> 01:06:41,650
Look. Look.

1894
01:06:43,784 --> 01:06:46,025
I am too self aware for my own

1895
01:06:46,025 --> 01:06:47,704
good. And I know I have one of

1896
01:06:47,704 --> 01:06:48,844
those strong personalities

1897
01:06:49,545 --> 01:06:51,864
that is ready and willing to convince the

1898
01:06:51,864 --> 01:06:53,244
world that I am correct.

1899
01:06:55,309 --> 01:06:57,309
The thing I actively do is go, wait.

1900
01:06:57,309 --> 01:06:58,989
Wait. Your opinion is not the only opinion,

1901
01:06:58,989 --> 01:07:00,190
which is why I say it so often.

1902
01:07:00,190 --> 01:07:01,170
One, to to

1903
01:07:01,550 --> 01:07:03,570
reinforce that for y'all, but also

1904
01:07:04,110 --> 01:07:05,889
to reinforce it to myself.

1905
01:07:09,630 --> 01:07:10,715
My god.

1906
01:07:11,494 --> 01:07:11,994
Okay.

1907
01:07:12,295 --> 01:07:12,954
Can I?

1908
01:07:13,575 --> 01:07:15,095
Yeah. I guess we could do a bonus

1909
01:07:15,095 --> 01:07:17,035
section now. I am so hot.

1910
01:07:18,295 --> 01:07:19,974
Can can when we can we close the

1911
01:07:19,974 --> 01:07:21,175
door thing? And then can I run and

1912
01:07:21,175 --> 01:07:23,860
get my hair tie? Yeah. See, I'll take

1913
01:07:23,860 --> 01:07:25,780
one time of leaving you by yourself after

1914
01:07:25,780 --> 01:07:28,019
five times of leaving me by myself. Okay.

1915
01:07:28,019 --> 01:07:30,119
Alright. So we're good? I don't know.

1916
01:07:31,059 --> 01:07:33,219
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1917
01:07:33,219 --> 01:07:34,039
next week.

1918
01:07:43,614 --> 01:07:45,775
I'll be right back. Okay. You'll be right

1919
01:07:45,775 --> 01:07:46,894
back. I'll be here. When I get back,

1920
01:07:46,894 --> 01:07:48,449
can I talk to the crickets? Yes. You

1921
01:07:48,449 --> 01:07:50,890
can. Okay. Yes. You can. I need So

1922
01:07:51,010 --> 01:07:52,929
I hear back. In the meantime alright. Let

1923
01:07:52,929 --> 01:07:55,349
me set that there. So okay.

1924
01:07:56,289 --> 01:07:57,510
Here we all are.

1925
01:07:58,130 --> 01:08:01,409
Filler. Do filler. Filler. Right? I'm filling. I'm

1926
01:08:01,409 --> 01:08:01,909
filling.

1927
01:08:10,275 --> 01:08:11,335
No. We're gonna

1928
01:08:11,635 --> 01:08:13,074
do our best to keep it from going

1929
01:08:13,074 --> 01:08:13,574
sideways.

1930
01:08:15,315 --> 01:08:17,255
We we don't like when things go sideways.

1931
01:08:18,994 --> 01:08:19,494
So

1932
01:08:21,850 --> 01:08:22,350
anyhoo,

1933
01:08:23,050 --> 01:08:23,449
as,

1934
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:25,930
Kayla said, yeah, we're kinda warming up in

1935
01:08:25,930 --> 01:08:26,590
here. We're

1936
01:08:27,130 --> 01:08:29,229
sliding into, Florida summer.

1937
01:08:30,250 --> 01:08:32,810
I think we're, what, about 87 degrees today?

1938
01:08:32,810 --> 01:08:35,125
86, 80 seven? In here.

1939
01:08:35,664 --> 01:08:37,284
Yeah. I am so hot.

1940
01:08:37,984 --> 01:08:39,505
Yeah. I cannot look in the mirror. I

1941
01:08:39,505 --> 01:08:41,045
just pulled it back. Okay.

1942
01:08:45,265 --> 01:08:46,484
Okay. I'm back.

1943
01:08:47,664 --> 01:08:49,859
Yeah. It it's crept up on us.

1944
01:08:50,979 --> 01:08:51,719
I'm thinking

1945
01:08:52,500 --> 01:08:54,679
I was feeling something in the humidity,

1946
01:08:55,779 --> 01:08:57,380
force last night and that's why I did

1947
01:08:57,380 --> 01:08:58,039
not sleep.

1948
01:08:58,420 --> 01:08:58,920
Jenny.

1949
01:09:03,025 --> 01:09:05,605
Ginny, I wish more people could be filmed

1950
01:09:05,905 --> 01:09:07,445
by JB. I think

1951
01:09:07,985 --> 01:09:10,065
that the world might enjoy that. I know

1952
01:09:10,065 --> 01:09:11,284
he would enjoy that.

1953
01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:13,265
And if he told me about it later,

1954
01:09:13,265 --> 01:09:14,625
because I don't like to watch, I would

1955
01:09:14,625 --> 01:09:15,445
enjoy that

1956
01:09:16,530 --> 01:09:17,890
later. I don't like to watch, but I

1957
01:09:17,890 --> 01:09:18,710
do like to know.

1958
01:09:19,810 --> 01:09:21,569
Man, some shit this man has come back

1959
01:09:21,569 --> 01:09:23,170
from some times out and told me. I'm

1960
01:09:23,170 --> 01:09:23,670
like,

1961
01:09:24,369 --> 01:09:25,750
that's what erotica

1962
01:09:26,130 --> 01:09:29,250
smut is written made of. Yes. Tell me

1963
01:09:29,250 --> 01:09:31,569
more. Don't make me watch it, but tell

1964
01:09:31,569 --> 01:09:32,145
me more.

1965
01:09:34,145 --> 01:09:35,125
Oh my gosh.

1966
01:09:37,904 --> 01:09:39,984
So, yeah, I think I felt a shift

1967
01:09:39,984 --> 01:09:41,364
in the temperature force

1968
01:09:41,824 --> 01:09:43,744
and the humidity force last night, and that

1969
01:09:43,744 --> 01:09:44,670
is why I did not sleep.

1970
01:09:45,869 --> 01:09:46,929
Like, I

1971
01:09:47,630 --> 01:09:48,850
I don't sleep

1972
01:09:49,310 --> 01:09:49,810
well.

1973
01:09:51,469 --> 01:09:54,270
I'm most people don't sleep well. But I

1974
01:09:54,270 --> 01:09:56,029
I have we have all the techniques in

1975
01:09:56,029 --> 01:09:57,545
place, all the tricks, all the things we

1976
01:09:57,545 --> 01:09:59,704
found that work so I can fall asleep

1977
01:09:59,704 --> 01:10:00,604
easily. Usually,

1978
01:10:00,905 --> 01:10:02,664
on a bad night, it's usually twenty minutes

1979
01:10:02,664 --> 01:10:04,425
takes me to fall asleep. But most nights,

1980
01:10:04,425 --> 01:10:06,045
it's about ten to fifteen minutes.

1981
01:10:07,465 --> 01:10:09,645
Hour and a half minimum last night.

1982
01:10:10,585 --> 01:10:11,085
And

1983
01:10:13,430 --> 01:10:15,510
I love John Brownstone. Oh, gone. He is

1984
01:10:15,510 --> 01:10:16,570
the light of my life.

1985
01:10:17,030 --> 01:10:19,189
He is not leaving this earthly plane without

1986
01:10:19,189 --> 01:10:20,170
me. But

1987
01:10:20,869 --> 01:10:22,630
but I've never wanted to kick somebody out

1988
01:10:22,630 --> 01:10:24,390
of bed so bad. So here's the thing.

1989
01:10:24,390 --> 01:10:25,875
We have a queen-size bed that's not an

1990
01:10:25,875 --> 01:10:27,875
awful sized bed. It fits us just perfectly.

1991
01:10:27,875 --> 01:10:29,954
I am now jonesing for a king or

1992
01:10:29,954 --> 01:10:31,574
a California king, quite frankly.

1993
01:10:32,514 --> 01:10:34,594
But what so what it used to be

1994
01:10:34,594 --> 01:10:36,914
when we first moved in together, he was

1995
01:10:36,914 --> 01:10:39,094
always super warm and I was always

1996
01:10:39,449 --> 01:10:41,770
so cold. Like, that was the joke. I

1997
01:10:41,770 --> 01:10:43,689
always had cold hands and cold feet and

1998
01:10:43,689 --> 01:10:45,930
I put them on his hot body. Hot

1999
01:10:45,930 --> 01:10:47,529
in any way you would like to see

2000
01:10:47,529 --> 01:10:48,029
that.

2001
01:10:48,489 --> 01:10:51,210
And now we flipped. He is always cold.

2002
01:10:51,210 --> 01:10:53,369
Y'all, it was hot in this house this

2003
01:10:53,369 --> 01:10:55,505
morning. He's walking around in his bath robe,

2004
01:10:55,505 --> 01:10:57,425
like, his fuzzy like, and his slippers on

2005
01:10:57,425 --> 01:10:59,824
to cover up. Oh my god. Mhmm. I'm

2006
01:10:59,824 --> 01:11:01,524
sweating just looking at you.

2007
01:11:01,824 --> 01:11:02,324
So

2008
01:11:03,664 --> 01:11:05,765
when he and he loves to snuggle.

2009
01:11:06,145 --> 01:11:07,664
If you need a cuddle buddy, you need

2010
01:11:07,664 --> 01:11:09,520
a JB. Because this not only is he

2011
01:11:09,520 --> 01:11:10,579
good at cuddling,

2012
01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:11,779
he fucking

2013
01:11:12,079 --> 01:11:12,979
loves it.

2014
01:11:13,359 --> 01:11:15,439
How do I know? Because he latches on

2015
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:17,039
to me like a Reese's monkey in the

2016
01:11:17,039 --> 01:11:18,100
middle of the night

2017
01:11:18,560 --> 01:11:19,699
every night.

2018
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:23,324
Every night. And sometimes it's real fun because

2019
01:11:23,324 --> 01:11:25,005
he in his sleep, he'll grab a tit,

2020
01:11:25,005 --> 01:11:27,744
he'll grab my cooch like his pansy.

2021
01:11:28,925 --> 01:11:29,425
But

2022
01:11:29,885 --> 01:11:32,045
I cannot fall asleep if I'm being touched

2023
01:11:32,045 --> 01:11:33,324
at all. Like, any kind of touch, I

2024
01:11:33,324 --> 01:11:35,585
cannot fall asleep. And I wake up

2025
01:11:35,965 --> 01:11:38,689
the moment we make made skin to skin

2026
01:11:38,689 --> 01:11:40,689
contact just, like, for just a few minutes

2027
01:11:40,689 --> 01:11:42,609
because it gets so hot. It's like a

2028
01:11:42,609 --> 01:11:44,770
boiling point, like, just that one spot where

2029
01:11:44,770 --> 01:11:45,829
we might be touching.

2030
01:11:47,010 --> 01:11:49,250
And also when he rolls over to hang

2031
01:11:49,250 --> 01:11:51,350
off of me like a Reese's monkey,

2032
01:11:51,994 --> 01:11:53,835
I get and we measured it because you

2033
01:11:53,835 --> 01:11:55,914
know I'm a petty bitch. I get literally

2034
01:11:55,914 --> 01:11:57,514
eight inches of space. Now for those of

2035
01:11:57,514 --> 01:11:59,295
you who can see my physical body,

2036
01:11:59,835 --> 01:12:01,914
you know there's not a part of my

2037
01:12:01,914 --> 01:12:04,795
body that can only fit in eight inches

2038
01:12:04,795 --> 01:12:05,489
of space.

2039
01:12:07,329 --> 01:12:09,329
So when I could not fall asleep last

2040
01:12:09,329 --> 01:12:09,829
night,

2041
01:12:10,369 --> 01:12:11,650
it was too hot in the room. Even

2042
01:12:11,650 --> 01:12:13,329
though I had the fan blowing on me,

2043
01:12:13,329 --> 01:12:15,350
I felt the air kick on twice.

2044
01:12:16,210 --> 01:12:17,270
It was not enough

2045
01:12:17,570 --> 01:12:18,070
because

2046
01:12:18,850 --> 01:12:21,074
I like to have my, like, comf, like

2047
01:12:21,074 --> 01:12:22,675
it's not a comforter but like a thicker

2048
01:12:22,675 --> 01:12:24,755
blanket on because that's cozy to me and

2049
01:12:24,755 --> 01:12:26,675
I fall asleep when I'm cozy but not

2050
01:12:26,675 --> 01:12:27,175
hot.

2051
01:12:27,795 --> 01:12:29,015
There's a it's a balance

2052
01:12:29,555 --> 01:12:31,315
but it was too hot for that every

2053
01:12:31,315 --> 01:12:32,755
time I pulled the good blanket up. I

2054
01:12:32,755 --> 01:12:34,430
just start sweating. Full body.

2055
01:12:34,969 --> 01:12:37,449
So I tried doing the sheet, but that

2056
01:12:37,449 --> 01:12:39,449
wasn't enough and it didn't feel right and

2057
01:12:39,449 --> 01:12:41,210
my body's like, we don't sleep like this,

2058
01:12:41,210 --> 01:12:43,869
you can't fall asleep like this. And then

2059
01:12:43,930 --> 01:12:44,430
TWICE,

2060
01:12:45,555 --> 01:12:48,034
twice, I had to push JB to get

2061
01:12:48,034 --> 01:12:49,574
him back to his side.

2062
01:12:50,114 --> 01:12:52,194
Both times, he eventually rolled over to his

2063
01:12:52,194 --> 01:12:54,935
other side, huffed and then giggled. He giggles

2064
01:12:54,994 --> 01:12:56,675
anytime I interact with him in the middle

2065
01:12:56,675 --> 01:12:58,435
of the night and, yes, he's asleep. He

2066
01:12:58,435 --> 01:13:01,159
never remembers it. But now he also adds

2067
01:13:01,159 --> 01:13:01,820
a huff,

2068
01:13:03,800 --> 01:13:05,560
like, I get it. If I had to

2069
01:13:05,560 --> 01:13:07,320
be pushed over every night, I might get

2070
01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:10,140
annoyed in my sleep too. But I'm annoyed

2071
01:13:10,199 --> 01:13:13,000
in my wake. I'm annoyed with eyes wide

2072
01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:15,614
open because I just wanna lay flat on

2073
01:13:15,614 --> 01:13:18,354
my back. I wanna adjust my pillow.

2074
01:13:18,734 --> 01:13:20,974
I wanna just I want nothing and nobody

2075
01:13:20,974 --> 01:13:22,734
to be touching me so there's no hot

2076
01:13:22,814 --> 01:13:25,054
extra hot points on my skin. That's all

2077
01:13:25,054 --> 01:13:25,715
I want.

2078
01:13:26,255 --> 01:13:28,289
And I truly did almost get up in

2079
01:13:28,289 --> 01:13:29,090
the middle of the night and go sit

2080
01:13:29,090 --> 01:13:30,530
on the couch, but then I knew I

2081
01:13:30,530 --> 01:13:32,210
would never fall asleep there either because that's

2082
01:13:32,210 --> 01:13:32,789
the wrong,

2083
01:13:33,250 --> 01:13:35,649
position. I don't sleep while sitting up. It'll

2084
01:13:35,649 --> 01:13:37,409
kill my neck. I wouldn't be able to

2085
01:13:37,409 --> 01:13:39,864
move my neck today. And the dog and

2086
01:13:39,864 --> 01:13:41,945
the cats would be very like, I was

2087
01:13:41,945 --> 01:13:43,625
like, it's bad no matter what the fuck

2088
01:13:43,625 --> 01:13:44,204
I do.

2089
01:13:44,744 --> 01:13:45,965
Eventually, I fell asleep.

2090
01:13:46,585 --> 01:13:49,324
But I'm very cranky about it. I'm exhausted.

2091
01:13:49,945 --> 01:13:50,765
So tired.

2092
01:13:51,145 --> 01:13:53,789
Y'all, I was so tired. I've barely read

2093
01:13:53,789 --> 01:13:55,710
my book today because I cannot focus on

2094
01:13:55,710 --> 01:13:57,630
the words. That is not like me. That

2095
01:13:57,630 --> 01:13:59,869
is not like me. Man, I But then

2096
01:13:59,869 --> 01:14:01,550
again, I I did get up at one

2097
01:14:01,550 --> 01:14:03,789
point during the middle of the night, and

2098
01:14:03,789 --> 01:14:05,090
I came back to bed.

2099
01:14:06,750 --> 01:14:08,530
And right where I should be

2100
01:14:08,875 --> 01:14:10,734
getting into bed, there was a knee.

2101
01:14:13,914 --> 01:14:15,694
I was trying to get comfortable.

2102
01:14:17,514 --> 01:14:20,074
You know, I know I'm not, like, some

2103
01:14:20,074 --> 01:14:21,359
perfect angel sleeper.

2104
01:14:21,920 --> 01:14:23,520
The thing is I'm just awake more than

2105
01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:24,639
you are. Like, you get up to pee

2106
01:14:24,639 --> 01:14:25,840
and then you have to come and, like,

2107
01:14:30,079 --> 01:14:31,840
See, you would also like it if I

2108
01:14:31,840 --> 01:14:33,439
snuggled up to you. You'd be like, oh,

2109
01:14:33,439 --> 01:14:35,475
this is because he comfy. I fall asleep

2110
01:14:35,475 --> 01:14:36,914
like this. And I'm over here going, oh

2111
01:14:36,914 --> 01:14:38,595
my god. If I am touched for one

2112
01:14:38,595 --> 01:14:40,114
more second, I don't care how much I

2113
01:14:40,114 --> 01:14:42,055
love him. I'm going to scream.

2114
01:14:48,250 --> 01:14:49,689
Yeah. Ben, that's kind of where we are.

2115
01:14:49,689 --> 01:14:51,869
And we don't even normally keep our thermostat

2116
01:14:51,929 --> 01:14:54,729
at 73 because Yeah. The temperature outside is

2117
01:14:54,729 --> 01:14:56,810
really not that awful. So we would have

2118
01:14:56,810 --> 01:14:58,010
to keep it low to even get the

2119
01:14:58,010 --> 01:15:00,250
AC to turn on. Doesn't matter. It's still

2120
01:15:00,250 --> 01:15:02,489
still so fucking hot already. And it's all

2121
01:15:02,489 --> 01:15:04,715
ready. We're just at the March.

2122
01:15:04,715 --> 01:15:06,954
I we I expected this temperature and this

2123
01:15:06,954 --> 01:15:08,954
change. Like, it's time. It's a little late,

2124
01:15:08,954 --> 01:15:09,454
actually.

2125
01:15:09,835 --> 01:15:11,215
We got a cold spell,

2126
01:15:12,154 --> 01:15:14,234
air quote that cold spell, a cool spell

2127
01:15:14,474 --> 01:15:16,680
Yeah. Later in March than I would normally

2128
01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:17,979
thought we would. Correct.

2129
01:15:18,600 --> 01:15:20,199
So I'm not surprised by it, but I'm

2130
01:15:20,199 --> 01:15:21,979
also still surprised by it.

2131
01:15:22,439 --> 01:15:24,699
Mhmm. Mhmm. Because it's, like, just

2132
01:15:29,274 --> 01:15:29,774
Yeah.

2133
01:15:35,914 --> 01:15:38,074
Yeah. Lola is not wreaking havoc right now.

2134
01:15:38,074 --> 01:15:40,635
Nope. She's over there. She's she's moved. She

2135
01:15:40,635 --> 01:15:42,939
moved. She's on the floor near her bed.

2136
01:15:42,939 --> 01:15:44,140
But not in her bed. Not in her

2137
01:15:44,140 --> 01:15:45,359
bed. No. No.

2138
01:15:47,340 --> 01:15:50,380
She's doing that fake sleeping thing. She's pretending

2139
01:15:50,380 --> 01:15:52,320
she's sleeping, but her ear is up listening.

2140
01:15:54,265 --> 01:15:55,545
Asked if we want some of this. It's

2141
01:15:55,545 --> 01:15:58,345
snowing again. I just I'm not saying anything

2142
01:15:58,345 --> 01:16:00,104
concrete because we have not said anything concrete,

2143
01:16:00,104 --> 01:16:01,005
but I will tell

2144
01:16:02,024 --> 01:16:04,204
you, JB and I have had serious conversations

2145
01:16:04,265 --> 01:16:06,185
over the past week or so Yeah. About

2146
01:16:06,185 --> 01:16:06,539
which,

2147
01:16:07,739 --> 01:16:08,479
non southern

2148
01:16:09,020 --> 01:16:11,500
state we might want to move to. Mhmm.

2149
01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:13,819
And all of the ones that might work

2150
01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,840
for why we might want to move

2151
01:16:16,380 --> 01:16:18,319
all have snow. Yeah.

2152
01:16:18,780 --> 01:16:19,280
Yep.

2153
01:16:20,494 --> 01:16:23,314
We're not, we're not actively planning a move.

2154
01:16:23,534 --> 01:16:25,534
No. But we are being aware that there

2155
01:16:25,534 --> 01:16:27,694
could be reasons we decide that's the right

2156
01:16:27,694 --> 01:16:28,514
choice. Yeah.

2157
01:16:28,895 --> 01:16:31,135
I mean, it's not at the top of

2158
01:16:31,135 --> 01:16:32,514
my list right now,

2159
01:16:34,119 --> 01:16:36,039
but if we have to, we have to.

2160
01:16:36,039 --> 01:16:36,539
Yeah.

2161
01:16:37,319 --> 01:16:40,520
Yeah. So Yep. It's a health and well-being

2162
01:16:40,840 --> 01:16:41,739
Yeah. Thing.

2163
01:16:42,279 --> 01:16:43,800
Mhmm. Not a, I'd like to go live

2164
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:45,824
in snow and never leave my house from

2165
01:16:45,824 --> 01:16:47,104
the first time it snows to the last

2166
01:16:47,104 --> 01:16:48,465
time it snows. Because y'all know I'm not

2167
01:16:48,465 --> 01:16:49,444
driving in it.

2168
01:16:49,904 --> 01:16:52,225
Y'all, I've already halfway given up driving at

2169
01:16:52,225 --> 01:16:54,305
night. I'm not driving in fucking snow. Just

2170
01:16:54,305 --> 01:16:56,385
get me a snowblower. I ain't shoveling no

2171
01:16:56,385 --> 01:16:58,784
snow. I'm being no. You're not allowed. You're

2172
01:16:58,784 --> 01:17:01,284
not leaving this earthly plane like that.

2173
01:17:02,489 --> 01:17:05,609
It's not like it's dangerous for certain for

2174
01:17:05,609 --> 01:17:08,329
people's health of a certain age range to

2175
01:17:08,329 --> 01:17:09,229
shovel snow.

2176
01:17:09,849 --> 01:17:11,529
You'll you'll get a snowblower. I'll be your

2177
01:17:11,529 --> 01:17:13,389
snowblower, but that's a different thing entirely.

2178
01:17:15,814 --> 01:17:17,175
Now you look like I got white down

2179
01:17:17,175 --> 01:17:17,675
there.

2180
01:17:22,935 --> 01:17:23,574
Yeah. We

2181
01:17:24,614 --> 01:17:25,594
I like,

2182
01:17:25,895 --> 01:17:26,635
of sheer,

2183
01:17:27,494 --> 01:17:29,689
like, stubbornness, I don't wanna leave Florida because

2184
01:17:29,689 --> 01:17:31,530
I have memories of when Florida was not

2185
01:17:31,530 --> 01:17:33,150
the Florida that it is today.

2186
01:17:34,329 --> 01:17:37,050
The current reason we're not actively going, yeah.

2187
01:17:37,050 --> 01:17:39,789
I think we'll move, is because the oldest

2188
01:17:39,850 --> 01:17:41,744
still kinda depends on us.

2189
01:17:42,305 --> 01:17:43,985
And while he's in college, he's got two

2190
01:17:43,985 --> 01:17:45,204
years left. Yeah.

2191
01:17:46,064 --> 01:17:49,265
If he had, like, a not quite a

2192
01:17:49,265 --> 01:17:51,104
big boy job, but, like, a college big

2193
01:17:51,104 --> 01:17:53,524
boy job and a car Mhmm.

2194
01:17:54,850 --> 01:17:57,750
I could probably make that decision right now.

2195
01:17:58,210 --> 01:18:00,369
Yeah. He does not have either of those

2196
01:18:00,369 --> 01:18:02,850
things. So I since we can be so

2197
01:18:02,850 --> 01:18:05,489
close, I would prefer to stay close, but

2198
01:18:05,489 --> 01:18:06,550
there are things

2199
01:18:06,930 --> 01:18:09,810
in our personal life that could change that

2200
01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:10,244
decision.

2201
01:18:11,445 --> 01:18:12,185
And so

2202
01:18:13,685 --> 01:18:15,465
we're just sitting back

2203
01:18:16,244 --> 01:18:18,564
and waiting. I did say, JB, I was

2204
01:18:18,564 --> 01:18:19,704
like, if we do move,

2205
01:18:20,085 --> 01:18:21,364
I want to go where the cost of

2206
01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:23,524
living is not Florida cost of living. Yeah.

2207
01:18:23,524 --> 01:18:26,109
But we don't have income tax, and that's

2208
01:18:26,109 --> 01:18:28,350
a personal debate on whether you would think

2209
01:18:28,350 --> 01:18:29,550
that's a good thing or bad thing. I'm

2210
01:18:29,550 --> 01:18:31,550
not I just know we don't have personal

2211
01:18:31,550 --> 01:18:33,149
income tax, and, yeah, that's a savings or

2212
01:18:33,149 --> 01:18:33,969
tax time.

2213
01:18:34,270 --> 01:18:34,770
However,

2214
01:18:35,229 --> 01:18:37,469
our auto insurance is fifth highest in the

2215
01:18:37,469 --> 01:18:39,635
nation. Our home insurance is

2216
01:18:41,215 --> 01:18:42,150
what? Three third or fourth, maybe fifth in

2217
01:18:42,150 --> 01:18:44,494
the nation and going higher. Yeah. One day,

2218
01:18:44,494 --> 01:18:45,234
the the,

2219
01:18:46,014 --> 01:18:48,014
Peninsula part of Florida is gonna break off

2220
01:18:48,014 --> 01:18:49,954
and float away into the Mhmm.

2221
01:18:51,210 --> 01:18:51,710
Atlantic

2222
01:18:52,489 --> 01:18:52,989
Ocean.

2223
01:18:53,770 --> 01:18:55,949
Yeah. So, like, I mean, there's good reasons

2224
01:18:56,010 --> 01:18:58,409
to maybe not. But You know, I could

2225
01:18:58,409 --> 01:18:59,070
I could

2226
01:19:00,810 --> 01:19:02,329
go off on it, but I'm not. I'm

2227
01:19:02,329 --> 01:19:03,930
gonna hold my tongue. I know. Because it

2228
01:19:03,930 --> 01:19:06,765
it gets your blood pressure up. And, Robert

2229
01:19:06,765 --> 01:19:08,664
made making a good,

2230
01:19:09,244 --> 01:19:11,885
plug for Virginia there. Look. Look. I'm,

2231
01:19:12,284 --> 01:19:14,385
volunteering on some Get Out the Vote campaigns

2232
01:19:14,444 --> 01:19:17,104
for the Virginia primaries and general election.

2233
01:19:17,564 --> 01:19:18,465
And Yep.

2234
01:19:19,699 --> 01:19:21,699
Yeah. We we have a special election going

2235
01:19:21,699 --> 01:19:23,380
on here in Florida. We already went and

2236
01:19:23,380 --> 01:19:25,699
voted. We voted. We gotta go collect the

2237
01:19:25,699 --> 01:19:27,380
19 year old, bring him home so he

2238
01:19:27,380 --> 01:19:28,039
can vote.

2239
01:19:28,420 --> 01:19:28,920
Mhmm.

2240
01:19:29,220 --> 01:19:29,720
And,

2241
01:19:30,739 --> 01:19:32,199
I don't think I've ever

2242
01:19:33,264 --> 01:19:35,824
voted in a special election before, mostly because

2243
01:19:35,824 --> 01:19:37,505
I'm like, why do I care if I

2244
01:19:37,505 --> 01:19:39,744
vote for this Republican or that Republican? Yeah.

2245
01:19:39,744 --> 01:19:41,104
They're kind of all the same in our

2246
01:19:41,104 --> 01:19:42,385
area. I mean, some are worse than others.

2247
01:19:42,385 --> 01:19:43,664
But you know what I mean? Like, it's

2248
01:19:43,744 --> 01:19:47,505
I'm not voting on, like, different platforms. Right?

2249
01:19:47,505 --> 01:19:47,824
It's just

2250
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:50,560
So I don't usually go to do special

2251
01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:52,880
elections. I've never been to one to see

2252
01:19:52,880 --> 01:19:55,780
how fast it is to vote. Yeah. Yeah.

2253
01:19:56,159 --> 01:19:58,420
We are fortunate to have early voting.

2254
01:19:59,360 --> 01:20:00,260
True. So

2255
01:20:00,640 --> 01:20:02,739
they haven't taken that away yet. Mm-mm.

2256
01:20:03,425 --> 01:20:05,025
So, yeah, we went on the day early

2257
01:20:05,025 --> 01:20:07,664
voting opened. And Saturday the weekends for early

2258
01:20:07,664 --> 01:20:09,845
voting tend to be pretty fucking crazy

2259
01:20:10,225 --> 01:20:11,744
for every election I've ever done, but I've

2260
01:20:11,744 --> 01:20:13,985
never done a special election. So we walked

2261
01:20:13,985 --> 01:20:15,824
in. There was no line. There was just

2262
01:20:15,824 --> 01:20:17,520
walk up to the person, get your ballot,

2263
01:20:17,520 --> 01:20:19,600
and it's one thing on the ballot because

2264
01:20:19,600 --> 01:20:21,520
it's the special election. I was like, oh,

2265
01:20:21,520 --> 01:20:23,119
I don't know. Let me think real hard

2266
01:20:23,119 --> 01:20:24,800
on this. Now I have to think real

2267
01:20:24,800 --> 01:20:25,780
hard on this.

2268
01:20:26,640 --> 01:20:27,859
Voted for my guy.

2269
01:20:28,319 --> 01:20:29,140
Don't lie.

2270
01:20:29,895 --> 01:20:30,395
So

2271
01:20:34,454 --> 01:20:35,194
but yeah.

2272
01:20:36,694 --> 01:20:37,595
I don't know.

2273
01:20:40,055 --> 01:20:41,194
Man, Rara is,

2274
01:20:41,895 --> 01:20:43,574
Right? She's making Rara, you need to go

2275
01:20:43,574 --> 01:20:45,779
work with the the kinky real estate community

2276
01:20:46,099 --> 01:20:47,079
Right. Industry

2277
01:20:47,460 --> 01:20:48,119
in your

2278
01:20:48,659 --> 01:20:50,679
state. Rara's like, look. We got some houses.

2279
01:20:51,300 --> 01:20:54,500
Right. Right. We're we're blue and Oh, yeah.

2280
01:20:54,579 --> 01:20:56,199
Kink community, you know,

2281
01:20:56,715 --> 01:20:59,435
sound enough. I know. But let's just let's

2282
01:20:59,435 --> 01:21:00,795
just tell you how you know, you start

2283
01:21:00,795 --> 01:21:02,475
looking around. Grass is always greener on the

2284
01:21:02,475 --> 01:21:05,034
other side. I know that. Yeah. But I'm

2285
01:21:05,034 --> 01:21:06,814
looking around the country going where

2286
01:21:07,435 --> 01:21:08,255
based on

2287
01:21:09,114 --> 01:21:11,739
politics and politicians and people I respect and

2288
01:21:11,739 --> 01:21:13,180
admire. Where might I want to live? And

2289
01:21:13,180 --> 01:21:13,920
when I realized

2290
01:21:15,500 --> 01:21:16,000
Minnesota

2291
01:21:16,380 --> 01:21:18,780
was on my list, I was like, that's,

2292
01:21:18,780 --> 01:21:19,280
like,

2293
01:21:20,140 --> 01:21:23,020
half a step from Canada. That's that's so

2294
01:21:23,020 --> 01:21:25,280
far north. That's so far north.

2295
01:21:30,574 --> 01:21:32,734
So I don't know. I've never lived outside

2296
01:21:32,734 --> 01:21:35,074
of the South in my whole ass life.

2297
01:21:36,414 --> 01:21:37,474
I've only traveled

2298
01:21:38,335 --> 01:21:40,194
as North as Baltimore,

2299
01:21:40,654 --> 01:21:41,154
Maryland

2300
01:21:41,774 --> 01:21:43,360
1 time. Like, the idea of it like,

2301
01:21:43,360 --> 01:21:45,699
y'all know I'm already an anxious fucking bitch.

2302
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:46,340
Like,

2303
01:21:46,800 --> 01:21:49,380
travel anxiety alone gets me. I'm just

2304
01:21:50,400 --> 01:21:52,000
but if we need to, we need to.

2305
01:21:52,000 --> 01:21:54,400
I've I've been a long time removed now,

2306
01:21:54,400 --> 01:21:56,640
but, you know, grew up in Upstate New

2307
01:21:56,640 --> 01:21:58,664
York. Which is how you won't want to,

2308
01:21:58,664 --> 01:22:00,664
but I know you I you could drive

2309
01:22:00,664 --> 01:22:02,344
us through snow. Yeah. I don't think you

2310
01:22:02,344 --> 01:22:03,965
could handle my anxiety.

2311
01:22:04,585 --> 01:22:06,744
You'd have to sedate me, quite frankly. I'd

2312
01:22:06,744 --> 01:22:08,744
be doing home delivery for everything. I'm not

2313
01:22:08,744 --> 01:22:10,505
going in. We we probably have to,

2314
01:22:11,145 --> 01:22:14,800
blindfold you, gag you. Kinky. Yeah. Don't don't

2315
01:22:14,800 --> 01:22:16,659
put the 15 year old in the car,

2316
01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:19,859
though. Actually, and

2317
01:22:20,399 --> 01:22:22,340
and for all that I I'm

2318
01:22:22,890 --> 01:22:23,390
for

2319
01:22:25,055 --> 01:22:26,675
health safety, well-being

2320
01:22:27,055 --> 01:22:28,895
reasons, we might move. I don't wanna move.

2321
01:22:28,895 --> 01:22:30,095
I don't wanna take the 15 year old

2322
01:22:30,095 --> 01:22:31,875
away from their therapist.

2323
01:22:32,814 --> 01:22:34,195
They're amazing therapists.

2324
01:22:39,400 --> 01:22:41,260
Anyway. Yeah. Anyhoo.

2325
01:22:42,280 --> 01:22:45,000
But I'm not gonna lie. Regardless of why

2326
01:22:45,000 --> 01:22:47,480
we might consider it, why we may not,

2327
01:22:47,480 --> 01:22:50,520
whatever whatever, the idea of being somewhere not

2328
01:22:50,520 --> 01:22:51,404
this hot and humid at this time of

2329
01:22:57,645 --> 01:22:58,304
You know,

2330
01:23:00,204 --> 01:23:02,444
Tayshoo in the chat was saying how it

2331
01:23:02,444 --> 01:23:04,770
was 80 degrees today and it's too soon,

2332
01:23:05,010 --> 01:23:07,189
you know, and he's not over last summer.

2333
01:23:07,329 --> 01:23:08,850
And I'm kind of the same either. I'm

2334
01:23:08,850 --> 01:23:10,529
not over it either, and I am dreading

2335
01:23:10,529 --> 01:23:11,430
what's ahead.

2336
01:23:12,050 --> 01:23:13,270
Yeah. You were

2337
01:23:13,810 --> 01:23:16,050
we usually try to work, air quote, more

2338
01:23:16,050 --> 01:23:17,564
in the summer because it's slower, so we

2339
01:23:17,564 --> 01:23:20,204
have more time. But this is the you're

2340
01:23:20,204 --> 01:23:21,885
you're like, do you think I could actually

2341
01:23:21,885 --> 01:23:23,404
work less so I don't have to be

2342
01:23:23,404 --> 01:23:24,925
up there as much? I'm like, I could

2343
01:23:24,925 --> 01:23:27,185
see how we could make that work. Yeah.

2344
01:23:28,925 --> 01:23:31,664
Because you're not passing out from heat exhaustion

2345
01:23:31,725 --> 01:23:34,189
on my watch. What the hell? My my

2346
01:23:34,189 --> 01:23:36,110
big thing that I am not looking forward

2347
01:23:36,110 --> 01:23:36,930
to is

2348
01:23:38,270 --> 01:23:39,550
really need to find a way to get

2349
01:23:39,550 --> 01:23:40,770
the riding mower fixed

2350
01:23:41,390 --> 01:23:44,150
or get because I cannot do another summer

2351
01:23:44,510 --> 01:23:46,664
No. If the summer is like last year.

2352
01:23:46,824 --> 01:23:49,244
No. Pushing them over. No. You should not.

2353
01:23:51,625 --> 01:23:54,045
Not not up to that anymore. No.

2354
01:23:54,905 --> 01:23:55,405
No.

2355
01:23:57,944 --> 01:23:59,760
You need to become nocturnal. Yeah.

2356
01:24:01,199 --> 01:24:04,000
Like a bat? You're right. I mean, by

2357
01:24:04,000 --> 01:24:06,159
some definitions, I'm probably an old bat net

2358
01:24:06,159 --> 01:24:06,899
by now.

2359
01:24:07,760 --> 01:24:09,760
God, I think I just I just aged

2360
01:24:09,760 --> 01:24:11,460
myself by even knowing that expression.

2361
01:24:13,279 --> 01:24:14,579
Anyway Yeah.

2362
01:24:15,975 --> 01:24:17,574
I kinda wanna hang out, but I got

2363
01:24:17,574 --> 01:24:18,774
stuff I gotta go to. I know. I

2364
01:24:18,774 --> 01:24:20,295
got stuff And I don't really have anything

2365
01:24:20,295 --> 01:24:21,594
to talk about. Mhmm.

2366
01:24:23,574 --> 01:24:25,175
So I guess we don't need to hang

2367
01:24:25,175 --> 01:24:27,094
out, but I, you know Yeah. I get

2368
01:24:27,094 --> 01:24:28,614
it. I also have to run to the

2369
01:24:28,614 --> 01:24:29,975
post office, but that is also how I'm

2370
01:24:29,975 --> 01:24:31,929
gonna get a Diet Coke today. So I

2371
01:24:31,929 --> 01:24:33,469
have to go to the post office.

2372
01:24:33,770 --> 01:24:35,069
Yep. Yep. Yep.

2373
01:24:35,689 --> 01:24:37,630
So Anyway, I guess we should go. Mhmm.

2374
01:24:38,329 --> 01:24:40,489
Thank you everybody for staying, for being here,

2375
01:24:40,489 --> 01:24:42,409
especially to the bitter end when it gets

2376
01:24:42,409 --> 01:24:43,904
weirder than even in the middle.

2377
01:24:44,704 --> 01:24:45,844
And it's already weird.

2378
01:24:48,224 --> 01:24:50,164
We will be back next week.

2379
01:24:51,344 --> 01:24:53,585
I see. I feel your pain. Oh, yeah.

2380
01:24:53,585 --> 01:24:55,269
Orlando is so hot.

2381
01:24:55,809 --> 01:24:56,309
Mhmm.

2382
01:24:56,769 --> 01:24:59,109
So, yeah. We're gonna go. Yep. Okay. Alright.

2383
01:24:59,329 --> 01:25:00,389
Bye. Bye.