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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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four thirty. Kayla Lords here with the one,

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the only,

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the best damn daddy dom I've ever met,

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my favorite person, John Brownston.

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Wow. I don't know if I can live

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up to all that now.

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Sorry. We have to set standards around here.

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You know?

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Oh, boy. Look. Look. Look. Look. Considering I'm

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in the thick of perimenopause and we know

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what that does to my mood,

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take the compliments while I'm giving them. Because

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probably in a few minutes, I'll be cranky.

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Thank you, baby girl. Thank you, baby girl.

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You're welcome, daddy.

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So this week, we are talking about the

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thing I have been complaining about for literal

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fucking years,

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and that is perimenopause,

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and specifically

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how it has impacted

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me as a as of how it could

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impact power exchange.

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We will for anybody who's like, I have

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heard that word, but what? We will talk

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about what it is for anybody who will

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physically never experience it or is not old

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enough yet to experience it.

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Don't worry. I I got I came with

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resources.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and

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Friday for your kinky pleasure in education. Show

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notes are found at lovingBDSM.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also watch nope. You can also follow

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the show on fat life at loving BDSM

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PC on Instagram and, technically, threads at that

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handle I will forever fucking hate. It's loving

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d s and the number one, so it's

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at loving d s one.

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Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingBDSM

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where you can watch us livestream the podcast

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every Wednesday. All links are in the show

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notes.

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Audio podcast folks, you have no idea,

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what it took for us to get to

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this point where we are talking to you

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now.

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The, folks watching the live stream and the

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YouTube video, they now know.

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They have been on this journey with us.

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Yeah.

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It looks like I'm gonna have to change

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the way I Do things. Do things. Yeah.

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Okay. That's it's fine. It's fine. This is

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fine.

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And silent asked, did JB just count me

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in like a TV producer? Yes. He did.

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Yep.

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That's a little behind the scenes there too.

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Yes.

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I did. I wanna give the audio folks

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a little rundown. So we started the live

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stream. We were in the live stream. We

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were live streaming. The sound cut out. We

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couldn't get it back on. We had to

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stop the live stream, start a brand new

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live stream, then talk for a while so

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I could calm down and we can make

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sure got jealous. So we can make sure

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the audio works. So then we always say

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you know, I tell I tell JB he

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can push the magic button to bring audio

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folks in. He went to push the magic

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button. Y'all

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y'all side wasn't working. He had to do

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that again, and now here we are. Yep.

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It's like the universe knows that I really

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care I I care about all the topics

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we do, but I really care about this

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one, and I've tried really hard to do

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it

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right, and I'm being thwarted

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at every turn.

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And I think the universe also knows that

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there are several people that I can name

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who really want this episode. Yeah. And they

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are also being thwarted. Yeah. Yeah. We're we're

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we're jumping through hoops to get it. Okay.

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Okay.

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So before we get into the topic,

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just to for anybody who was paying attention

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to notice, and thank you for the the

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folks who reached out to check up on

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us. Yeah. There was no episode last week,

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and I'm being given

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a finger

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told me to okay.

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Okay. Okay. Now I can keep going. Okay.

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The mic audio is jacked up. It's it's

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like one thing after another. Oh my god.

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Damn. Oh my god.

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I think we need to get the vodka

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out, and I think we just need to

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do shots during this episode.

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Okay.

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So

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we were gone last week and, clearly,

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the universe went, oh, you clearly don't work

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here anymore. Let's fuck up all your equipment.

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Jimmy was sick last week, so, no, we

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did not do an episode. And he was

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mostly recovered. He was, yeah, recovered enough by

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Friday night. We did the livestream. Mhmm.

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But I was no Yeah. I was no

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longer in the headspace to record a Monday

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episode. JB thought he was. I'm like, I'm

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not prepared for that. So we skipped a

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Monday episode, and now we're back.

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So

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that's where we were. JB's feeling a lot

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better. Yeah.

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And now the universe

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is laughing at us, taunting us.

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Mhmm. Mhmm.

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Okay.

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So let's get into this episode.

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I'm gonna I'm gonna say many things. We

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know this. So the first thing I wanna

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say that should come as no surprise to

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anybody with

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any amount of sense:

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we are not medical professionals.

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We are not telling anybody about their experience.

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We are using the best information that I

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could find that I felt like I trusted,

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but that does not mean we will be

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correct a %

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in all situations.

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So if your doctor tells you something different

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than I have said and that thing they

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said works for you, they get to be

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correct and you can ignore the fuck out

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of me.

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But we are this is not just being

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pulled from my ass. I'm I am

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I used references that are reputable

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and know what the hell they're talking about

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to get to the sciency bit and then

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we'll get into, like, the power exchange y

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bit.

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The other thing is I made extensive notes

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so I

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would have the facts part correct. So,

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I will probably be reading more than just

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conversing for part of this. Yes, it's weird

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to me too. Okay?

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But I wanted to get this right.

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Okay, so let's start first for the resources

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I used,

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to do this episode.

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I highly recommend them. If anybody sounds new

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to you, please go check them out. The

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links will be in the places. The livestream

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folks know that it's gonna be a minute

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for me. So the first one is a

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book I own that's actually sitting on my

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desk, The Menopause

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Manifesto by Doctor. Jen Gunther. Doctor. Jen Gunther.

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You can find her online.

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She's got,

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you know,

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blog, a Substack,

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she's on social media. I think she's even

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got a podcast.

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Jen Gunter is,

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fairly well known online.

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Social media spaces.

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Very smart.

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Loves, clapping back at fools on the Internet.

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It's it's delightful.

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The book that I have, The Menopause Manifesto,

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that book is from 2021.

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So

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it misses some of the newer studies that

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have come out about perimenopause that you may

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come across from the other resource. But but

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that book is still very good. The general

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information is very, very good,

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for

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some of the more common symptoms in navigating

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how to help yourself while you're going through

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perimenopause.

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The other resource is

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doctor Mary Claire Haver.

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She has a book that I want. I

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have not read it, but I desperately want

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to. It's called The New Menopause.

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Her she is a, OB GYN just like

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doctor Jen Gunter is,

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but doctor Haver specializes in menopause. Her patients

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are perimenopausal

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and menopausal.

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That's who she works with.

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She also has a list on her website,

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which will be linked, of

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doctors who focus on menopause or who have

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proclaimed themselves to be

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able to and willing to work with perimenopausal

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people in ways that actually will help them

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with medications and dealing with symptoms and stuff.

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There's also a section on her site that

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links to studies being done on perimenopause and

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menopause. One of those studies I am referencing

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in this episode because it had a great

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list of

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50 plus symptoms, and 50 plus symptoms is

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even not the only amount. It can there's

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some talk that, perimenopause symptoms can be somewhere

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in there's 70 to 80 perimenopausal

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symptoms that people can experience.

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So yeah.

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So

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those are my resources.

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Links

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are and or will be in the places

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because we're time traveling. Depending on who you

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are, you can or cannot see them yet

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because today is chaotic.

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So let's talk about who experiences perimenopause and

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how I'm gonna try really hard to talk

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about this in what feels like the right

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way to me which is as inclusively as

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possible.

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The most concise way I could I could

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think to describe who experiences perimenopausal

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is

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every person assigned female at birth who continues

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to have ovaries if they live long enough.

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There is a way to go into menopause

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that's surgical. Like, one day you had fully

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functioning reproductive,

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have a full whatever, wake up and you

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are fully in menopause skipping,

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the thing about perimenopause is everybody's health experience

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is different. There are gonna be exceptions to

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these rules. When I I hate to say

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every type

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but every cis woman who lives long enough

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will go through perimenopause. It's one of, like,

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short of just going directly into menopause. But

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every let me put it this way. How

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does Doctor. Haver say it? Every cis woman

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who lives long enough will go into menopause,

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however you get there. Perimenopause is the most

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common way to get there. Okay?

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But I won't want to encompass people who

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are not cis women but have the plumbing

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and can experience perimenopause.

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Okay.

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So, let's talk about what perimenopause is because

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here's the thing.

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You yourself may not have the plumbing to

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ever go into perimenopause, but you might have

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or in the future have partners who can

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go into perimenopause.

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And if that is you, you will go

273
00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:55,950
through this with us.

274
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,910
Just ask JB. Your experience is different,

275
00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:02,330
but you are surviving it. Mileage may vary.

276
00:10:02,330 --> 00:10:03,710
Right. Just like we are.

277
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:04,750
So

278
00:10:05,785 --> 00:10:08,985
perimenopause is basically the multiple years, and it

279
00:10:08,985 --> 00:10:09,884
is multiple,

280
00:10:10,665 --> 00:10:12,585
when an eggs the egg supply in the

281
00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:14,985
ovaries decreases to zero, and that is when

282
00:10:14,985 --> 00:10:18,345
menopause occurs. Menopause is declared twelve months and

283
00:10:18,345 --> 00:10:20,205
one day after your last period,

284
00:10:20,570 --> 00:10:22,009
or, if you're like me and don't get

285
00:10:22,009 --> 00:10:24,190
periods, there's a blood test you can do.

286
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:26,570
I'm now getting very used to getting blood

287
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:28,809
work done every few months and part of

288
00:10:28,809 --> 00:10:31,049
that blood work, they are always testing. Are

289
00:10:31,049 --> 00:10:32,429
you officially in menopause?

290
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:33,914
I don't know

291
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:38,154
yet. Speaking from what my mom explained of

292
00:10:38,154 --> 00:10:40,735
her experience of she didn't label it perimenopause

293
00:10:40,954 --> 00:10:42,475
when my mother this is not that long

294
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,174
ago. My mom's only been in menopause

295
00:10:45,195 --> 00:10:47,514
maybe five or seven five to seven years.

296
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,195
Maybe as long as ten, but I don't

297
00:10:49,195 --> 00:10:49,889
think so.

298
00:10:50,610 --> 00:10:52,629
She never used the word perimenopause

299
00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:55,350
to describe what she was going through.

300
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:57,730
It is absolutely the word I would I'm

301
00:10:57,730 --> 00:10:59,509
using because it's what it is.

302
00:11:01,009 --> 00:11:02,769
For her, the way she described it to

303
00:11:02,769 --> 00:11:04,629
me, her periods were all over the place

304
00:11:04,904 --> 00:11:07,225
and apparently her periods would play the joke

305
00:11:07,225 --> 00:11:08,664
on her of going, she'd go like nine

306
00:11:08,664 --> 00:11:10,504
months without a period and she's like, hot

307
00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,304
damn. Three more months and it's officially menopause.

308
00:11:13,304 --> 00:11:15,784
Nope. Here comes a period. So do not

309
00:11:15,784 --> 00:11:17,779
be surprised that that is, you know, a

310
00:11:17,779 --> 00:11:20,519
common experience that you might have yourself.

311
00:11:22,340 --> 00:11:24,500
One thing I was both a little pissy

312
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:27,639
to learn but also gratified to learn. Like

313
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:29,940
your experience with periods, if you are a

314
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:30,840
person who

315
00:11:31,274 --> 00:11:33,034
has or can get or used to get

316
00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:33,534
periods,

317
00:11:34,154 --> 00:11:36,554
perimenopause and menopause are your experience with it

318
00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:38,235
is gonna be wildly different. Some people are

319
00:11:38,235 --> 00:11:40,475
going to have it super air quote easy.

320
00:11:40,475 --> 00:11:42,154
They won't get a lot of symptoms. Those

321
00:11:42,154 --> 00:11:44,320
are typical those might be similar to the

322
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:45,679
type of people who go, Oh yeah, my

323
00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:47,940
period's not that bad. I barely notice it.

324
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,839
I'm so happy for you, but I hate

325
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:50,659
you. Okay.

326
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,240
Perimenopause can be that way as well. Up

327
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,539
to debilitating.

328
00:11:55,855 --> 00:11:58,495
Right? Just like periods can be debilitating for

329
00:11:58,495 --> 00:11:59,475
some people, perimenopause

330
00:11:59,855 --> 00:12:00,995
leading into menopause

331
00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:04,995
can be debilitating. And then there's the amorphous

332
00:12:05,134 --> 00:12:07,855
in between all that. Okay? So not everybody

333
00:12:07,855 --> 00:12:10,894
is going to have the same experience with

334
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:11,309
this.

335
00:12:12,830 --> 00:12:15,070
And so that means it's, from my perspective,

336
00:12:15,070 --> 00:12:16,669
is not at all an expert. I find

337
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,429
it very difficult to talk about because what

338
00:12:18,429 --> 00:12:20,110
I know to be true is I'm somewhere

339
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,029
in the middle of I can kind of

340
00:12:22,029 --> 00:12:22,529
function

341
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,725
but it's not pleasant and I'm now on

342
00:12:25,725 --> 00:12:29,004
medication to help myself function better, right? And

343
00:12:29,004 --> 00:12:30,365
other people will have it worse so other

344
00:12:30,365 --> 00:12:31,345
people have it better.

345
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:34,764
I mentioned this briefly a minute ago. We'll

346
00:12:34,764 --> 00:12:36,365
go into a little bit more detail here.

347
00:12:36,365 --> 00:12:38,205
One study and it's fairly recent and I

348
00:12:38,205 --> 00:12:40,580
got the link to it from doctor Haver's

349
00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:41,080
website,

350
00:12:42,019 --> 00:12:44,339
showed in that study that there are as

351
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,019
many as 52

352
00:12:46,019 --> 00:12:47,080
possible symptoms.

353
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:48,839
While some experts,

354
00:12:49,299 --> 00:12:50,820
including doctor Haver in,

355
00:12:51,299 --> 00:12:52,674
it was a Tik Tok or Reel, whatever

356
00:12:52,674 --> 00:12:54,274
that I saw from her, there can be

357
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,334
as many as seventy seventy to 80 possible

358
00:12:57,475 --> 00:12:57,975
symptoms.

359
00:12:59,075 --> 00:13:00,454
That does not mean everybody

360
00:13:00,995 --> 00:13:01,495
will

361
00:13:01,954 --> 00:13:04,914
experience every symptom. It also means you get

362
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:07,610
to do the fun dance of, is this

363
00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:09,929
a symptom or does, like, my ear just

364
00:13:09,929 --> 00:13:11,470
itch? Because one symptom

365
00:13:11,850 --> 00:13:14,090
is ringing in the ears and and or

366
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:15,070
itchy ears.

367
00:13:16,649 --> 00:13:17,149
That's

368
00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:19,230
wild. So let's go over

369
00:13:20,794 --> 00:13:23,195
not every single symptom. I don't think y'all

370
00:13:23,195 --> 00:13:25,455
want me to list all 52,

371
00:13:25,835 --> 00:13:27,835
but let's let me give you this list.

372
00:13:27,835 --> 00:13:28,894
I have to scroll

373
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,995
down to this thing. Okay. The study is

374
00:13:31,995 --> 00:13:33,375
pretty interesting to,

375
00:13:34,629 --> 00:13:36,230
to look at. Like I said, it is

376
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:37,990
and or will be linked. I now have

377
00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:39,669
to get very close to the screen because

378
00:13:39,669 --> 00:13:40,649
this is very,

379
00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:43,370
small oh, there we go.

380
00:13:44,309 --> 00:13:45,769
What are you're doing buttons.

381
00:13:46,230 --> 00:13:49,434
Yeah. Ah, okay. K. And now let me

382
00:13:49,835 --> 00:13:51,035
Just slide it over here. Oh, there we

383
00:13:51,035 --> 00:13:53,115
go. Here we go. I'm gonna do some

384
00:13:53,115 --> 00:13:55,035
of the most common based on this study,

385
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,875
and then I'll stop at a certain point

386
00:13:56,875 --> 00:13:59,195
because we go from, like let me see.

387
00:13:59,195 --> 00:14:00,014
What is it?

388
00:14:00,919 --> 00:14:03,159
There's some that as many as sixty eight

389
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:05,720
point nine percent of participants in the study

390
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,019
experienced down to

391
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,159
one point six. So we're not gonna go

392
00:14:09,159 --> 00:14:11,319
through all 52, but some of these might

393
00:14:11,319 --> 00:14:13,695
sound familiar to some of you. Mood swings,

394
00:14:14,014 --> 00:14:17,075
Brain fog, Fatigue, Irregular periods,

395
00:14:18,414 --> 00:14:18,914
difficulty

396
00:14:20,654 --> 00:14:22,674
with or just poor concentration,

397
00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:23,875
anxiety,

398
00:14:24,335 --> 00:14:24,835
irritability,

399
00:14:25,535 --> 00:14:27,715
insomnia and problems with sleeping,

400
00:14:28,049 --> 00:14:31,350
weight gain, night sweats, low mood, poor memory,

401
00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:35,350
lack of motivation, reduced confidence, heavy periods,

402
00:14:35,970 --> 00:14:39,169
tearful low sex drive, headaches and migraines, aching

403
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,470
joints, hot flushes.

404
00:14:41,665 --> 00:14:42,485
Heart palpitations

405
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:44,465
scared the shit out of me. I thought

406
00:14:44,465 --> 00:14:45,764
I was having heart attacks.

407
00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:47,524
Bloating, depression,

408
00:14:47,904 --> 00:14:51,045
itching, body parts, ears, body, vagina,

409
00:14:51,504 --> 00:14:52,004
anywhere.

410
00:14:52,465 --> 00:14:55,049
Facial hair growth. Been there, done that, breast

411
00:14:55,049 --> 00:14:58,009
soreness, painful periods, digestive issues. Do you see

412
00:14:58,009 --> 00:14:58,829
where I'm going?

413
00:14:59,129 --> 00:15:01,209
A lot of shit's happening. I haven't gotten

414
00:15:01,209 --> 00:15:03,370
halfway through the list yet. Is is that

415
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:03,690
like,

416
00:15:05,370 --> 00:15:07,245
Pokemon? You gotta get them all? Oh, god.

417
00:15:07,245 --> 00:15:07,745
No.

418
00:15:08,445 --> 00:15:08,524
I

419
00:15:09,965 --> 00:15:12,924
because of, like, just how people and bodies

420
00:15:12,924 --> 00:15:14,684
work, if there are, let's say, up to

421
00:15:14,845 --> 00:15:17,504
even just this 52 list of 52 symptoms

422
00:15:17,965 --> 00:15:20,764
Yeah. Just mathematically, statistically, there's a chance that,

423
00:15:20,764 --> 00:15:22,605
yes, there are people out there with every

424
00:15:22,605 --> 00:15:24,179
single symptom just like there's a chance that

425
00:15:24,179 --> 00:15:25,620
there are people with almost none of the

426
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,799
symptoms. I'm I'm curious because,

427
00:15:29,459 --> 00:15:31,080
anybody who sits and watches

428
00:15:31,459 --> 00:15:32,759
TV for any,

429
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,759
amount of time, we see all these

430
00:15:39,245 --> 00:15:39,745
pharmaceutical

431
00:15:40,445 --> 00:15:41,745
advertisements. Okay?

432
00:15:42,285 --> 00:15:43,424
And and the pharmaceuticals,

433
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,625
they say, you know, these symptoms may occur.

434
00:15:46,764 --> 00:15:47,825
Mhmm. Alright?

435
00:15:48,205 --> 00:15:48,705
And

436
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:51,840
we we both know,

437
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:53,279
most people

438
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:54,480
know,

439
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,179
you could have a cold going into one

440
00:15:57,179 --> 00:15:59,259
of these studies and they're going to list

441
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,820
Right. You know, sneezing, runny nose, etcetera as

442
00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:04,139
a symptom. And that is my understanding of

443
00:16:04,139 --> 00:16:04,995
those studies too. Hopefully,

444
00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:08,021
If anybody can tell us that they don't

445
00:16:08,021 --> 00:16:09,315
do that anymore, that'd be great. But yes.

446
00:16:09,315 --> 00:16:11,075
So are you saying is this sort of

447
00:16:11,075 --> 00:16:12,434
like that? Is this sort of like that?

448
00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,674
The study was specifically done to look at

449
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:17,735
this, and I'm not, expert enough,

450
00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:20,919
in any way, shape, or form to Mhmm.

451
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:21,740
Pick apart,

452
00:16:22,679 --> 00:16:25,000
studies and really explain them and the efficacy.

453
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,200
What I could say is when I was

454
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,940
reading through it, I did I have read

455
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,580
even, like, blurbs of studies where I went,

456
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,855
what was that? A a a survey you

457
00:16:33,855 --> 00:16:35,615
put on Twitter? Like, how did you get

458
00:16:35,615 --> 00:16:38,335
your data? This did not read that way

459
00:16:38,335 --> 00:16:40,014
to me, and it came from a source

460
00:16:40,095 --> 00:16:42,174
a re a person I trust to read

461
00:16:42,174 --> 00:16:44,034
these kinds of studies.

462
00:16:44,414 --> 00:16:46,514
So these are based on their measurements.

463
00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:50,990
They are classifying them as legitimate potential symptoms.

464
00:16:51,769 --> 00:16:52,269
Now

465
00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:56,649
So my experience with some of these symptoms

466
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:58,110
I may get into some

467
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:01,309
interesting but and also annoying,

468
00:17:01,735 --> 00:17:02,855
realities that,

469
00:17:03,335 --> 00:17:05,515
can happen in perimenopause is that,

470
00:17:06,295 --> 00:17:09,654
sometimes you've had these symptoms your whole adult

471
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,894
life or maybe your whole life, and now

472
00:17:11,894 --> 00:17:12,795
you hit perimenopause

473
00:17:13,174 --> 00:17:14,955
and they just get worse.

474
00:17:17,850 --> 00:17:20,029
So I know for me, when my anxiety

475
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,750
spiked two points of literal panic,

476
00:17:23,930 --> 00:17:26,590
I did not immediately go, oh, that's perimenopause.

477
00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:29,070
Right? I was like, oh, I'm already anxious.

478
00:17:29,130 --> 00:17:31,575
It was looking back, I was like, Oh,

479
00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:33,494
this is happening in conjunction with all these

480
00:17:33,494 --> 00:17:34,154
other things.

481
00:17:34,534 --> 00:17:36,454
Perimenopause is playing some part in it. Now

482
00:17:36,454 --> 00:17:38,615
here's, an interesting how many of these do

483
00:17:38,615 --> 00:17:39,194
I have?

484
00:17:39,654 --> 00:17:40,474
An interesting

485
00:17:41,174 --> 00:17:41,674
ish

486
00:17:42,134 --> 00:17:43,275
fact about perimenopause.

487
00:17:44,054 --> 00:17:45,194
So a couple things.

488
00:17:46,380 --> 00:17:47,839
If you have,

489
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:50,720
have been diagnosed with or just know yourself

490
00:17:51,019 --> 00:17:51,519
anxiety,

491
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:52,400
depression,

492
00:17:53,180 --> 00:17:55,420
you know, anything that, like, fucks you up

493
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:56,640
mentally, perimenopause

494
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:59,579
will exacerbate that. If you've never, in your

495
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,535
mind, experienced those things before, perimenopause can bring

496
00:18:02,535 --> 00:18:03,035
it

497
00:18:03,575 --> 00:18:05,494
on. The most interesting one, and is why

498
00:18:05,494 --> 00:18:07,015
I feel like I'm playing whack a mole

499
00:18:07,015 --> 00:18:08,875
with my own self, is

500
00:18:09,414 --> 00:18:10,795
that perimenopause symptoms

501
00:18:11,335 --> 00:18:13,195
can be mistaken for neuro

502
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,009
divergency.

503
00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:16,329
So you could be going through perimenopause

504
00:18:16,789 --> 00:18:17,289
and,

505
00:18:17,750 --> 00:18:20,230
you know, it could look like, oh, is

506
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:21,690
this do I have ADHD?

507
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:25,349
Am I, on the autism spectrum? Right? But

508
00:18:25,349 --> 00:18:26,730
also, but also

509
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:27,565
perimenopause

510
00:18:27,944 --> 00:18:30,265
can make the symptoms and experience of that

511
00:18:30,265 --> 00:18:30,765
worse,

512
00:18:31,304 --> 00:18:31,785
which

513
00:18:32,105 --> 00:18:33,865
I couldn't find a study to back this

514
00:18:33,865 --> 00:18:35,304
up, but I know I've heard it from

515
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:36,204
literal doctors.

516
00:18:37,865 --> 00:18:38,845
Late diagnosed,

517
00:18:40,059 --> 00:18:42,539
ADHD specifically I'm sure I've heard about that.

518
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:43,840
I'm not sure about autism

519
00:18:45,019 --> 00:18:45,840
in women

520
00:18:46,779 --> 00:18:49,119
can be is often found,

521
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,119
at the time of perimenopause.

522
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:54,619
Because prior to perimenopause, when your hormones were

523
00:18:54,619 --> 00:18:56,795
at least whatever their air quote typical level

524
00:18:56,795 --> 00:18:58,954
was and your coping mechanisms and if you

525
00:18:58,954 --> 00:19:01,195
mask, your masking skills were right where they

526
00:19:01,195 --> 00:19:02,494
needed to be. Perimenopause

527
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,494
sets everything on fire

528
00:19:05,035 --> 00:19:07,515
and now everything's worse than it was and

529
00:19:07,515 --> 00:19:10,049
so coping skills no longer suit. They don't

530
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:12,369
help you at all. So it is not

531
00:19:12,369 --> 00:19:12,869
uncommon

532
00:19:13,330 --> 00:19:14,150
for perimenopausal

533
00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:18,230
people to start getting diagnosed legitimately diagnosed with

534
00:19:18,289 --> 00:19:21,009
neurodivergence. The ADHD is the one I'm sure

535
00:19:21,009 --> 00:19:23,809
about. I can't remember if autism is in

536
00:19:23,809 --> 00:19:24,950
that list.

537
00:19:26,195 --> 00:19:26,695
So

538
00:19:28,195 --> 00:19:29,795
if you happen to be like me where

539
00:19:29,795 --> 00:19:32,595
you're like, was I always like this? Is

540
00:19:32,595 --> 00:19:33,575
this the perimenopause?

541
00:19:34,835 --> 00:19:37,315
But wait, maybe we just missed like, I

542
00:19:37,315 --> 00:19:38,295
don't know either.

543
00:19:38,670 --> 00:19:40,990
And you would hope that doctors could help

544
00:19:40,990 --> 00:19:43,070
but sometimes they don't know either. And I'm

545
00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:44,750
sure many of us have already figured that

546
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:45,250
out.

547
00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:47,170
Okay,

548
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:48,210
okay.

549
00:19:50,509 --> 00:19:52,769
Let's- when does perimenopause occur?

550
00:19:53,684 --> 00:19:56,404
So that's this is an average, so some

551
00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:58,184
people will be higher or lower.

552
00:19:58,484 --> 00:19:58,984
Typically,

553
00:19:59,444 --> 00:19:59,944
perimenopause

554
00:20:00,244 --> 00:20:01,464
happens seven-ten

555
00:20:02,005 --> 00:20:03,065
years before

556
00:20:03,684 --> 00:20:04,184
menopause.

557
00:20:04,964 --> 00:20:05,464
The

558
00:20:05,845 --> 00:20:06,345
typical

559
00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:10,350
age range of menopause is anywhere from 45

560
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:11,570
to 55.

561
00:20:11,869 --> 00:20:13,789
Yes, it can happen later. Yes, it can

562
00:20:13,789 --> 00:20:16,269
happen earlier. We're not even talking surgically, like,

563
00:20:16,269 --> 00:20:17,890
just the natural progression.

564
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:20,690
That means the age range of perimenopause

565
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:23,095
can be 35 to 45. So if you

566
00:20:23,095 --> 00:20:25,355
are in your mid thirties like I was

567
00:20:25,654 --> 00:20:27,974
starting to experience some of these things and

568
00:20:27,974 --> 00:20:28,634
you think,

569
00:20:29,015 --> 00:20:31,174
am am I dying or have I lost

570
00:20:31,174 --> 00:20:33,414
my mind? And a doctor won't believe you

571
00:20:33,414 --> 00:20:34,950
because they'll tell you like they did me.

572
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:36,809
You're too young for perimenopause.

573
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:38,089
Not necessarily.

574
00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:39,690
Not necessarily.

575
00:20:40,549 --> 00:20:43,190
For a minute, I believed the myth that

576
00:20:43,190 --> 00:20:43,929
the earlier

577
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:44,809
you

578
00:20:45,190 --> 00:20:47,605
get your period, I was like, if hormone

579
00:20:47,605 --> 00:20:49,125
blockers had been a thing they were offering

580
00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:50,644
in the eighties, I'd have been on them.

581
00:20:50,644 --> 00:20:51,704
That was that early.

582
00:20:52,404 --> 00:20:54,664
Then the earlier you hit perimenopause and menopause,

583
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:57,224
according to doctor Havert, that is not true.

584
00:20:57,365 --> 00:20:59,544
I was very sad to hear that

585
00:21:00,244 --> 00:21:02,005
because I was like, wait. I could go

586
00:21:02,005 --> 00:21:03,349
until 55?

587
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,190
Are you fucking kidding me?

588
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,190
So, yes, perimenopause

589
00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:09,910
can hit in your mid thirties,

590
00:21:10,690 --> 00:21:12,789
and then on on up. Right?

591
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:15,565
So, no, you are you're you might be

592
00:21:15,565 --> 00:21:16,865
crazy but you're not crazy

593
00:21:17,164 --> 00:21:19,184
if you're recognizing some of these symptoms.

594
00:21:22,285 --> 00:21:24,924
To potential treatments, the one I'm most familiar

595
00:21:24,924 --> 00:21:27,884
with is hormone replacement therapy. There are other

596
00:21:27,884 --> 00:21:29,644
options. It is important to talk to your

597
00:21:29,644 --> 00:21:29,940
doctor.

598
00:21:30,899 --> 00:21:32,899
Doctor. It is ideal to have a doctor

599
00:21:32,899 --> 00:21:34,599
who will listen to you. Because

600
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,980
even now, in the year of our Lord

601
00:21:36,980 --> 00:21:38,099
2025,

602
00:21:38,099 --> 00:21:40,579
a lot of doctors suck with dealing with

603
00:21:40,579 --> 00:21:44,575
perimenopause and menopause. Doctor. Haver said, and I

604
00:21:44,575 --> 00:21:46,335
I believe it continues to be true or

605
00:21:46,335 --> 00:21:48,335
has been true until maybe recently. I don't

606
00:21:48,335 --> 00:21:50,654
know. But doc doctor Mary Claire Haver has

607
00:21:50,654 --> 00:21:52,414
said on more than one occasion that meds

608
00:21:52,575 --> 00:21:56,034
typical med school experience is one hour on,

609
00:21:56,494 --> 00:21:57,714
learning about menopause.

610
00:21:58,410 --> 00:22:00,809
A thing that has that will in some

611
00:22:00,809 --> 00:22:01,549
way affect

612
00:22:01,850 --> 00:22:03,470
fifty percent of the population,

613
00:22:04,330 --> 00:22:06,090
they spend an hour on. And if you

614
00:22:06,090 --> 00:22:07,930
get to have a long lived life, this

615
00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:09,930
is something you could be dealing with for

616
00:22:09,930 --> 00:22:11,150
thirty to forty

617
00:22:11,690 --> 00:22:14,305
fucking years and most doctors don't have a

618
00:22:14,305 --> 00:22:15,125
fucking clue.

619
00:22:15,505 --> 00:22:17,825
So if that annoys you, like it annoys

620
00:22:17,825 --> 00:22:19,045
me, welcome.

621
00:22:19,744 --> 00:22:20,884
So it's

622
00:22:21,505 --> 00:22:23,265
most likely you're gonna have to advocate for

623
00:22:23,265 --> 00:22:25,984
yourself really fucking hard and or if this

624
00:22:25,984 --> 00:22:27,369
is an option for you, find a doctor

625
00:22:27,369 --> 00:22:28,750
who gets it.

626
00:22:30,809 --> 00:22:33,529
The doctor who did my partial hysterectomy for

627
00:22:33,529 --> 00:22:35,369
me a few years ago was in the

628
00:22:35,369 --> 00:22:37,929
same practice as a doctor who told me

629
00:22:37,929 --> 00:22:40,169
I was way too young for perimenopause. Couldn't

630
00:22:40,169 --> 00:22:40,990
be a perimenopause.

631
00:22:41,474 --> 00:22:43,554
I did not like that lady and went

632
00:22:43,554 --> 00:22:45,474
I'm not gonna be gaslit about my own

633
00:22:45,474 --> 00:22:47,755
fucking experience. Even though I was still unsure,

634
00:22:47,755 --> 00:22:49,654
I was like, but I think it is.

635
00:22:50,595 --> 00:22:52,434
The next year, I went to the doctor

636
00:22:52,434 --> 00:22:54,410
who ended up doing my surgery, gave her

637
00:22:54,410 --> 00:22:56,730
my same list of symptoms. I'm only one

638
00:22:56,730 --> 00:22:58,250
year older at that point. And she's like,

639
00:22:58,250 --> 00:23:00,809
oh yeah, you're definitely in perimenopause. There's no

640
00:23:00,809 --> 00:23:03,049
doubt in my mind. She was also a

641
00:23:03,049 --> 00:23:05,384
doctor who had no qualms about and was

642
00:23:05,464 --> 00:23:07,644
very quick to, when it was a viable

643
00:23:07,704 --> 00:23:09,164
option, to offer me

644
00:23:09,545 --> 00:23:11,164
the partial hysterectomy. Right?

645
00:23:11,545 --> 00:23:14,105
So that was a good doctor. My current

646
00:23:14,105 --> 00:23:15,325
doctor absolutely,

647
00:23:16,664 --> 00:23:18,744
you know, will prescribe the things that people

648
00:23:18,744 --> 00:23:20,924
need to help with their perimenopause and menopause.

649
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:21,980
But

650
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,679
something about my age, something about I'm not

651
00:23:24,679 --> 00:23:25,480
100%

652
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,440
sure, she was hesitant until I reminded her

653
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,819
I'd had a partial hysterectomy.

654
00:23:30,519 --> 00:23:32,039
I should not have to tell you that

655
00:23:32,039 --> 00:23:33,734
I don't have a uterus and a cervix

656
00:23:33,734 --> 00:23:34,234
anymore

657
00:23:34,535 --> 00:23:36,315
and no more fallopian tubes

658
00:23:36,855 --> 00:23:37,595
in order

659
00:23:37,974 --> 00:23:39,674
to get you know what I mean? Like,

660
00:23:39,894 --> 00:23:41,275
come on now. But

661
00:23:41,815 --> 00:23:43,335
that was a place where I kinda had

662
00:23:43,335 --> 00:23:45,115
to advocate for myself a little harder.

663
00:23:45,494 --> 00:23:47,595
I mentioned this at the top. Doctor,

664
00:23:48,970 --> 00:23:51,289
Mary Claire Haver's website does have a list

665
00:23:51,289 --> 00:23:52,350
of people who,

666
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:56,509
are like, oh, yeah. We we do menopausal

667
00:23:56,650 --> 00:23:58,570
care. We will help patients who who need

668
00:23:58,570 --> 00:24:00,090
that kind of care. When I went to

669
00:24:00,090 --> 00:24:01,950
look for our local area,

670
00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:03,630
I found one

671
00:24:04,134 --> 00:24:07,494
doctor's office in Gainesville which is forty five

672
00:24:07,494 --> 00:24:08,315
minutes away.

673
00:24:09,815 --> 00:24:11,174
And that doesn't mean that we don't have

674
00:24:11,174 --> 00:24:13,255
anybody here locally. It's just that they don't

675
00:24:13,335 --> 00:24:14,934
they are not connected enough to have put

676
00:24:14,934 --> 00:24:15,994
themselves on a website.

677
00:24:16,855 --> 00:24:19,119
So if you do need to do the

678
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:20,259
advocacy route,

679
00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:22,740
more than trying to find a new doctor,

680
00:24:24,079 --> 00:24:25,839
I've heard Doctor. Haver say this. I've heard

681
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:28,000
other people say this. Take copies of the

682
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,099
studies, like print them out or whatever,

683
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:32,179
email them to your doctor and go,

684
00:24:32,545 --> 00:24:34,704
this is the science showing that this thing,

685
00:24:34,704 --> 00:24:37,045
you know, this thing I'm experiencing whatever whatever

686
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:39,265
or this is, you know, a good treatment

687
00:24:39,265 --> 00:24:40,484
option or whatever whatever.

688
00:24:41,025 --> 00:24:43,204
You know, let them see it for themselves.

689
00:24:44,224 --> 00:24:44,724
Now,

690
00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:47,684
common suggestions that are not

691
00:24:49,059 --> 00:24:49,879
just HRT

692
00:24:50,259 --> 00:24:51,079
for dealing

693
00:24:51,539 --> 00:24:52,359
with perimenopause:

694
00:24:53,299 --> 00:24:57,480
more fiber, more protein, weight training, better sleep,

695
00:24:57,619 --> 00:24:59,879
stress reduction, and yes for some people HRT.

696
00:25:00,099 --> 00:25:02,359
Supplements can also be like part of

697
00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:04,285
the equation.

698
00:25:04,825 --> 00:25:07,224
My doctor suggested a whole handful of supplements.

699
00:25:07,224 --> 00:25:08,825
I I felt nothing different on any of

700
00:25:08,825 --> 00:25:10,505
them. Took them for months and months and

701
00:25:10,505 --> 00:25:13,224
months. So supplements were not it for me.

702
00:25:13,224 --> 00:25:15,224
Now, if anybody else out there feels like

703
00:25:15,224 --> 00:25:16,904
trying to get enough protein as their full

704
00:25:16,904 --> 00:25:17,644
time job,

705
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,670
same. I it's I don't know that I

706
00:25:20,670 --> 00:25:22,130
don't know how to do it without

707
00:25:22,670 --> 00:25:25,150
I don't know. Without mainlining protein powder, I've

708
00:25:25,150 --> 00:25:26,670
still not figured out how to do it.

709
00:25:26,670 --> 00:25:27,410
And the

710
00:25:27,710 --> 00:25:28,210
irony

711
00:25:29,150 --> 00:25:30,289
of telling people

712
00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:33,134
that who have the main symptom of fatigue

713
00:25:33,835 --> 00:25:36,154
and not being able to sleep well, that

714
00:25:36,154 --> 00:25:38,575
if they just got better sleep, their perimenopausal

715
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:40,715
symptoms will be better. Yeah. It annoys me

716
00:25:40,715 --> 00:25:42,414
too. That that that,

717
00:25:45,340 --> 00:25:45,840
Circuitous.

718
00:25:46,220 --> 00:25:48,220
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Also stress

719
00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:50,220
reduction. Just don't be stressed. Just don't be

720
00:25:50,220 --> 00:25:52,059
stressed. Oh, you're at a time of your

721
00:25:52,059 --> 00:25:53,900
life where maybe you're like me and you're

722
00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:55,820
caring for children and you're helping to take

723
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:58,380
care of parents and you're that sandwich generation.

724
00:25:58,380 --> 00:25:59,820
Don't be stressed. Oh, you're at that point

725
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:01,304
in life where you're trying to, like, do

726
00:26:01,304 --> 00:26:03,464
something with a career, let's say, and pay

727
00:26:03,464 --> 00:26:06,424
bills that now include college tuition or something.

728
00:26:06,424 --> 00:26:08,585
Oh, no. Just don't don't stress so much.

729
00:26:08,585 --> 00:26:10,744
Just don't stress so much. That'll help your

730
00:26:10,744 --> 00:26:12,845
symptoms. Yeah. I'm bitter about it.

731
00:26:14,450 --> 00:26:15,430
Okay. So

732
00:26:15,809 --> 00:26:17,970
that's that's a lot that's a lot of

733
00:26:17,970 --> 00:26:19,269
information about perimenopause.

734
00:26:19,650 --> 00:26:21,570
The folks who have dealt with it already

735
00:26:21,570 --> 00:26:23,250
or are dealing with it now and or

736
00:26:23,250 --> 00:26:25,009
the partners of those people were like, yep.

737
00:26:25,009 --> 00:26:27,089
Yep. Yep. Yep. For anybody else who's like,

738
00:26:27,089 --> 00:26:28,230
this is all new information.

739
00:26:28,804 --> 00:26:30,825
Please use the links that I have,

740
00:26:31,444 --> 00:26:32,884
live stream folks. I will get those links

741
00:26:32,884 --> 00:26:34,244
as soon as the live stream is over.

742
00:26:34,244 --> 00:26:34,404
Sorry.

743
00:26:35,684 --> 00:26:36,984
But for podcast listeners,

744
00:26:37,525 --> 00:26:39,684
the links are there. Check it out. Learn

745
00:26:39,684 --> 00:26:40,184
more.

746
00:26:41,045 --> 00:26:42,505
Highly recommend The Menopause

747
00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:45,660
and I desperately want doctor Haver's book, The

748
00:26:45,660 --> 00:26:46,320
New Menopause.

749
00:26:47,580 --> 00:26:49,599
So now let's talk about

750
00:26:50,779 --> 00:26:52,240
power exchange and perimenopause

751
00:26:52,700 --> 00:26:53,200
and

752
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:55,119
our specific

753
00:26:55,465 --> 00:26:57,465
experience for sure because that's the thing I

754
00:26:57,465 --> 00:26:58,445
can definitely,

755
00:27:00,424 --> 00:27:01,404
draw upon.

756
00:27:02,505 --> 00:27:03,005
So

757
00:27:05,225 --> 00:27:07,305
and I also want to point out that

758
00:27:07,305 --> 00:27:08,819
this is not a the thing I'm talking

759
00:27:08,819 --> 00:27:10,660
about will be about my role as a

760
00:27:10,660 --> 00:27:12,359
submissive and how it's being impacted.

761
00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:15,940
But AFAB doms, you're gonna have your own

762
00:27:15,940 --> 00:27:18,740
experience. And if it if perimenopause does not

763
00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:19,720
affect how

764
00:27:20,099 --> 00:27:21,700
you operate as a dominant, I would be

765
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:24,884
fucking shocked. Right? I think the biggest, most

766
00:27:24,884 --> 00:27:28,105
important thing for anybody who can experience perimenopause

767
00:27:28,484 --> 00:27:30,644
and maybe is about to or is not

768
00:27:30,644 --> 00:27:32,325
that far away from it is to know

769
00:27:32,325 --> 00:27:35,125
that it fucking exists. Because I promise you,

770
00:27:35,125 --> 00:27:36,904
I heard the word perimenopause,

771
00:27:37,765 --> 00:27:38,130
like,

772
00:27:38,609 --> 00:27:41,029
once or twice in my early thirties

773
00:27:41,490 --> 00:27:43,829
and then never fucking heard it again

774
00:27:44,210 --> 00:27:46,390
until I started to realize I had perimenopause

775
00:27:46,690 --> 00:27:48,930
and was in it because the internet was

776
00:27:48,930 --> 00:27:51,089
teaching me something and it was social media

777
00:27:51,089 --> 00:27:53,615
that was teaching me shit. Fucking kidding me.

778
00:27:53,615 --> 00:27:55,214
And now if you can get onto that

779
00:27:55,214 --> 00:27:57,214
part of an algorithm and whatever app you

780
00:27:57,214 --> 00:28:00,034
prefer, there are definitely people talking about perimenopause.

781
00:28:00,494 --> 00:28:02,194
So there's more information out there.

782
00:28:02,654 --> 00:28:05,054
So I will talk about my my personal

783
00:28:05,054 --> 00:28:06,034
symptoms that

784
00:28:06,414 --> 00:28:07,859
I don't I don't know that I have

785
00:28:07,940 --> 00:28:10,420
fifty two. I tend to, like, wave away

786
00:28:10,420 --> 00:28:12,099
the small ones that I'm like, it could

787
00:28:12,099 --> 00:28:13,960
just be an itchy ear. You know?

788
00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:17,940
The heart palpitations is one I get very

789
00:28:17,940 --> 00:28:20,884
infrequently and it the first two times scared

790
00:28:20,884 --> 00:28:22,085
the shit out of me. I thought I

791
00:28:22,085 --> 00:28:23,365
was gonna have to wake JB up in

792
00:28:23,365 --> 00:28:26,325
the middle of the night to call 911.

793
00:28:26,325 --> 00:28:28,565
I was like, am I dying right now?

794
00:28:28,565 --> 00:28:30,504
Because I've never had heart palpitations.

795
00:28:32,404 --> 00:28:33,869
And then I woke like, the first time

796
00:28:33,869 --> 00:28:35,990
I woke up the next morning, like, terrified.

797
00:28:35,990 --> 00:28:36,950
I was like, do I need to watch

798
00:28:36,950 --> 00:28:38,470
myself? You know, I'm trying to think of

799
00:28:38,470 --> 00:28:40,230
what are the main signs of heart attack

800
00:28:40,230 --> 00:28:41,210
in women. Like,

801
00:28:41,509 --> 00:28:43,289
am I experiencing any of that?

802
00:28:43,990 --> 00:28:45,910
Thought I thought I was both losing my

803
00:28:45,910 --> 00:28:46,730
mind and dying.

804
00:28:47,029 --> 00:28:47,474
My

805
00:28:47,954 --> 00:28:49,894
bigger symptoms, the low libido,

806
00:28:50,914 --> 00:28:53,315
abso fucking lutely. I think that was my

807
00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:56,054
first clear sign that I was hitting perimenopause.

808
00:28:56,674 --> 00:28:57,174
Mhmm.

809
00:28:58,115 --> 00:28:59,794
The other being and this is I'm only

810
00:28:59,794 --> 00:29:00,694
can tell you

811
00:29:01,154 --> 00:29:04,409
retrospectively looking back, an absolute spike in my

812
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:04,909
anxiety.

813
00:29:05,690 --> 00:29:07,390
Massive spike in anxiety.

814
00:29:09,049 --> 00:29:10,890
The first time I was terrified to answer

815
00:29:11,049 --> 00:29:12,269
to make a phone call,

816
00:29:13,769 --> 00:29:16,265
was late thirties. Like I don't like talking

817
00:29:16,265 --> 00:29:17,865
on the phone. I don't like making a

818
00:29:17,865 --> 00:29:20,204
phone call. It never scared me before.

819
00:29:20,825 --> 00:29:22,424
And Jamie was like, we were talking about

820
00:29:22,424 --> 00:29:23,785
me going to a therapist, and you were

821
00:29:23,785 --> 00:29:25,625
like, we had found somebody who was king

822
00:29:25,625 --> 00:29:27,304
friendly. Like, you just need to call them.

823
00:29:27,304 --> 00:29:28,365
And then I cried.

824
00:29:28,909 --> 00:29:30,509
He said, just just make a phone call.

825
00:29:30,509 --> 00:29:32,369
And, sat in my car

826
00:29:32,750 --> 00:29:34,210
And cried. And cried.

827
00:29:34,829 --> 00:29:37,069
And that and that's the hard thing, like,

828
00:29:37,069 --> 00:29:38,849
we were talking about earlier with anxiety.

829
00:29:39,630 --> 00:29:41,390
I've always been kind of an anxious person

830
00:29:41,390 --> 00:29:44,055
on certain levels. I've coped, I've ignored, I've

831
00:29:44,134 --> 00:29:45,035
worked around it.

832
00:29:45,335 --> 00:29:46,615
And then there are times in life where

833
00:29:46,615 --> 00:29:49,575
you have legitimate anxieties. When your when your

834
00:29:49,575 --> 00:29:51,575
daddy dum gets hit by a literal fucking

835
00:29:51,575 --> 00:29:53,815
car, it makes you more anxious. When your

836
00:29:53,815 --> 00:29:55,654
teenage child can now drive and then gets

837
00:29:55,654 --> 00:29:57,335
into an accident, you are more anxious. But

838
00:29:57,335 --> 00:29:57,994
what I've

839
00:29:58,399 --> 00:30:01,599
figured out, again looking back, it wasn't that

840
00:30:01,599 --> 00:30:03,279
I was anxious because I'd always been anxious.

841
00:30:03,279 --> 00:30:04,720
It was how it spiked. It was how

842
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,519
I panicked. There have been I'm I'm calmer

843
00:30:07,519 --> 00:30:08,019
now.

844
00:30:08,399 --> 00:30:09,359
I'm gonna I'm gonna,

845
00:30:10,534 --> 00:30:12,154
equate this to a lot of the medications

846
00:30:12,214 --> 00:30:15,015
I'm on, but there were many nights for

847
00:30:15,015 --> 00:30:15,914
a couple years

848
00:30:16,214 --> 00:30:18,855
where I would cry myself to sleep because

849
00:30:18,855 --> 00:30:20,714
I could think about JB dying.

850
00:30:22,694 --> 00:30:24,214
I can't really talk about that or think

851
00:30:24,214 --> 00:30:26,500
about it without crying like for real, But

852
00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:27,240
I would be

853
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:29,859
looking at him. We would be cuddled up

854
00:30:29,859 --> 00:30:31,500
snuggling. I'd be trying to be silly and

855
00:30:31,500 --> 00:30:33,140
I would look at him and think, I

856
00:30:33,140 --> 00:30:35,299
love him so much one day he will

857
00:30:35,299 --> 00:30:37,799
not be here. And then just I panic

858
00:30:38,019 --> 00:30:39,045
and and

859
00:30:39,525 --> 00:30:40,965
and I'm a quiet crier. I don't really

860
00:30:40,965 --> 00:30:42,565
like for anybody to see me cry because

861
00:30:42,565 --> 00:30:44,105
that's part of my childhood trauma.

862
00:30:44,725 --> 00:30:47,144
So I didn't tell him I was crying.

863
00:30:47,205 --> 00:30:49,525
And again, it's not that I cried. It's

864
00:30:49,525 --> 00:30:51,684
not that I was nervous about something. It

865
00:30:51,684 --> 00:30:53,205
was the level of it. It was the

866
00:30:53,205 --> 00:30:55,349
way it was impacting me. It was completely

867
00:30:55,349 --> 00:30:56,490
out of fucking character.

868
00:30:57,589 --> 00:31:01,210
Other major symptoms. Brain fog? For fucking sure.

869
00:31:01,910 --> 00:31:02,730
For me,

870
00:31:03,589 --> 00:31:06,309
I remember pregnancy brain from having kids. That

871
00:31:06,309 --> 00:31:08,355
kind of brain fog. This is not that.

872
00:31:08,434 --> 00:31:10,194
Which is what made me start looking more

873
00:31:10,194 --> 00:31:12,934
into executive dysfunction as it relates to neurodivergency.

874
00:31:13,714 --> 00:31:15,234
And that's been its own separate journey and

875
00:31:15,234 --> 00:31:15,954
blah blah blah.

876
00:31:17,554 --> 00:31:18,934
The whole am I neurodivergent,

877
00:31:19,634 --> 00:31:21,394
I think a lot of that's it kicked

878
00:31:21,394 --> 00:31:23,494
in first because the kids got diagnosed.

879
00:31:24,079 --> 00:31:26,160
And then I started looking around at my

880
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,839
own life previous to now and I was

881
00:31:27,839 --> 00:31:29,380
like, oh, high perimenopause

882
00:31:29,759 --> 00:31:30,259
for

883
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,059
making making that made potentially more obvious.

884
00:31:33,519 --> 00:31:34,720
Let me go back to my list here

885
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,779
because I don't wanna,

886
00:31:36,365 --> 00:31:37,585
the tearful. Yeah.

887
00:31:38,205 --> 00:31:39,105
Poor memory.

888
00:31:40,684 --> 00:31:43,085
I fucking hate that shit. I used to

889
00:31:43,085 --> 00:31:45,184
have, at least I told myself I did,

890
00:31:45,644 --> 00:31:48,125
a mind like a steel trap. Now this

891
00:31:48,125 --> 00:31:49,884
is the first one low libido for sure,

892
00:31:49,884 --> 00:31:51,089
and I'll get back to This is the

893
00:31:51,089 --> 00:31:53,089
first one that absolutely started impacting me as

894
00:31:53,089 --> 00:31:55,269
a submissive, and it impacted our power exchange.

895
00:31:55,410 --> 00:31:57,890
Because it used to be pre perimenopause, JB

896
00:31:57,890 --> 00:31:59,109
could tell me to do something.

897
00:31:59,569 --> 00:32:01,170
Some I'd make a to do list. I'm

898
00:32:01,250 --> 00:32:02,769
I've been a to do list person, but

899
00:32:02,769 --> 00:32:04,845
if he told me to do it, whether

900
00:32:04,845 --> 00:32:06,045
I wrote it down or not, I re

901
00:32:06,125 --> 00:32:07,825
I could remember it. I could remember it

902
00:32:08,045 --> 00:32:09,725
later that day. I could remember it the

903
00:32:09,725 --> 00:32:10,845
next day. I could remember it a week

904
00:32:10,845 --> 00:32:12,205
from then. I could remember it up until

905
00:32:12,205 --> 00:32:13,244
the time I needed to do it, and

906
00:32:13,244 --> 00:32:15,744
I could get it done. Now, perimenopause?

907
00:32:17,130 --> 00:32:19,230
First of all, once I realized my memory

908
00:32:19,289 --> 00:32:20,269
was shot,

909
00:32:21,210 --> 00:32:22,970
I was terrified whenever he gave me a

910
00:32:22,970 --> 00:32:23,470
task,

911
00:32:24,650 --> 00:32:26,490
because I was terrified I would not remember

912
00:32:26,490 --> 00:32:27,558
it. And so I started putting in kind

913
00:32:27,558 --> 00:32:27,633
of extreme coping mechanisms to make sure I

914
00:32:27,633 --> 00:32:28,430
could remember it. But it also made me

915
00:32:32,164 --> 00:32:34,245
But it also made me anxious when he

916
00:32:34,245 --> 00:32:36,164
would give me a task that he would

917
00:32:36,164 --> 00:32:37,365
try to say, you don't have to do

918
00:32:37,365 --> 00:32:38,884
it right now. And I would go, no.

919
00:32:38,884 --> 00:32:40,725
I have to do it right now. Because

920
00:32:40,725 --> 00:32:42,725
if I don't, it will never happen. I

921
00:32:42,725 --> 00:32:43,625
will forget it exists. And I didn't wanna

922
00:32:44,279 --> 00:32:45,880
And I didn't wanna be in trouble, and

923
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,140
I didn't wanna let my daddy Dom down.

924
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,640
And I didn't want to not be as

925
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,380
good of at something as I had been.

926
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:56,539
So I was very

927
00:32:57,025 --> 00:32:58,325
stressed about that.

928
00:33:01,664 --> 00:33:03,525
Did you have a point when you noticed

929
00:33:04,785 --> 00:33:07,424
my weirdness around tasks and my inability to

930
00:33:07,424 --> 00:33:07,924
remember?

931
00:33:08,865 --> 00:33:09,365
Yes.

932
00:33:09,904 --> 00:33:12,750
Yes. Okay. And yes. How how did that

933
00:33:12,750 --> 00:33:13,890
make you feel?

934
00:33:16,190 --> 00:33:18,269
Not too much how it made me feel,

935
00:33:18,269 --> 00:33:19,569
but kind of like,

936
00:33:20,029 --> 00:33:21,950
this is not her. What is going on?

937
00:33:21,950 --> 00:33:23,390
There you would say that a lot for

938
00:33:23,390 --> 00:33:24,974
a couple years. You're like, this isn't you.

939
00:33:24,974 --> 00:33:27,615
This isn't like you. And I only in

940
00:33:27,615 --> 00:33:28,595
retrospect can

941
00:33:28,894 --> 00:33:30,654
I acknowledge this and say this and and

942
00:33:30,654 --> 00:33:31,555
not freak out?

943
00:33:31,934 --> 00:33:34,575
The hearing, this isn't like you. You're not

944
00:33:34,575 --> 00:33:35,315
like this

945
00:33:35,775 --> 00:33:37,934
was a gut punch because you are for

946
00:33:37,934 --> 00:33:39,569
me, I already have the, the, am I

947
00:33:39,569 --> 00:33:42,330
losing my mind? What is happening to me

948
00:33:42,529 --> 00:33:44,609
Mhmm. As a human being, which then how

949
00:33:44,609 --> 00:33:46,390
is it impacting me as a submissive?

950
00:33:46,929 --> 00:33:48,230
I was already, like,

951
00:33:49,490 --> 00:33:51,825
really shaky and and I don't always have

952
00:33:51,825 --> 00:33:53,744
a lot of self confidence, but the confidence

953
00:33:53,744 --> 00:33:55,125
I had was lacking.

954
00:33:55,664 --> 00:33:57,904
And then there's JB who, especially in in

955
00:33:57,904 --> 00:33:59,505
times of stress and turmoil and we're already

956
00:33:59,505 --> 00:34:01,505
a little fussy at one another, he wasn't

957
00:34:01,505 --> 00:34:02,865
saying it to be mean. He didn't know

958
00:34:02,865 --> 00:34:04,889
my my thought process, but to then hear,

959
00:34:04,889 --> 00:34:06,509
what is wrong with you?

960
00:34:07,129 --> 00:34:08,589
Oh, that's a tough one.

961
00:34:09,609 --> 00:34:12,489
That's a tough one because I don't know.

962
00:34:12,489 --> 00:34:15,369
That's right. Yeah. I don't know what's wrong

963
00:34:15,369 --> 00:34:16,030
with me.

964
00:34:16,335 --> 00:34:17,795
It did make me very,

965
00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:21,614
not just nervous to take on new tasks,

966
00:34:21,614 --> 00:34:23,474
but I was resistant to them.

967
00:34:23,934 --> 00:34:25,855
Can you can you remember the times you'd

968
00:34:25,855 --> 00:34:27,135
be like, I have a task for you,

969
00:34:27,135 --> 00:34:28,114
and my immediate

970
00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,500
response was No. Was irritability. It was like,

971
00:34:31,639 --> 00:34:32,940
are you I Mhmm.

972
00:34:33,319 --> 00:34:34,539
You learn to go,

973
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:35,900
not right now.

974
00:34:36,359 --> 00:34:38,440
And and sometimes that was okay. That worked

975
00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,039
for me. But a lot of times it

976
00:34:40,039 --> 00:34:42,114
was like, it has to be right now

977
00:34:42,114 --> 00:34:44,034
or I cannot do for you what I've

978
00:34:44,034 --> 00:34:46,674
done for you in the past. And right

979
00:34:46,674 --> 00:34:48,914
now was not necessarily a good time. JB's

980
00:34:48,914 --> 00:34:50,434
always been very good about I got a

981
00:34:50,434 --> 00:34:52,355
thing I need you to do, but I'm

982
00:34:52,355 --> 00:34:55,094
looking at your schedule, your life, your mood.

983
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,519
I can tell you you don't have to

984
00:34:56,519 --> 00:34:57,880
do this right now, and I'm going, but

985
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,400
no, I do. And it would be at

986
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:00,680
a time when I didn't have time to

987
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,199
do that task, but I knew if I

988
00:35:02,199 --> 00:35:04,199
didn't do it right then, it would never

989
00:35:04,199 --> 00:35:05,739
happen. So my stress levels

990
00:35:06,119 --> 00:35:08,465
were through the fucking roof. Now

991
00:35:08,765 --> 00:35:11,085
you, I think, have because I don't remember

992
00:35:11,085 --> 00:35:13,505
having a specific conversation about my memory

993
00:35:13,885 --> 00:35:15,744
loss as it pertained to perimenopause.

994
00:35:16,204 --> 00:35:18,045
Mm-mm. But I talked about my memory loss

995
00:35:18,045 --> 00:35:19,025
and being sad

996
00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:23,110
and and frustrated and and worried. Mhmm. Often

997
00:35:23,110 --> 00:35:24,969
enough, you seem to have adjusted.

998
00:35:25,670 --> 00:35:27,590
So not so that you don't give me

999
00:35:27,590 --> 00:35:29,450
tasks. Mhmm. It's more like,

1000
00:35:29,989 --> 00:35:31,910
you know I'm probably gonna forget if I

1001
00:35:31,910 --> 00:35:32,890
don't write it down.

1002
00:35:34,214 --> 00:35:34,714
And

1003
00:35:35,335 --> 00:35:36,074
you don't

1004
00:35:37,174 --> 00:35:37,674
Lola

1005
00:35:38,214 --> 00:35:40,154
clearly agrees in the background there.

1006
00:35:40,934 --> 00:35:43,894
Jamie doesn't get angry at me or annoyed

1007
00:35:43,894 --> 00:35:45,329
with me if I have to go,

1008
00:35:46,769 --> 00:35:49,489
you gave me a task yesterday and I

1009
00:35:49,489 --> 00:35:51,190
forgot to write it down.

1010
00:35:52,530 --> 00:35:54,150
Can you refresh my memory?

1011
00:35:55,170 --> 00:35:57,489
Can you can you refresh my memory? He's

1012
00:35:57,489 --> 00:35:59,864
he's very calm about that, which is good

1013
00:35:59,864 --> 00:36:01,465
because then I'm not getting the, oh my

1014
00:36:01,465 --> 00:36:03,164
god. I suck kind of feeling,

1015
00:36:03,545 --> 00:36:05,265
which is not true. I don't suck. I

1016
00:36:05,385 --> 00:36:07,465
No. You don't. At all. Everything about my

1017
00:36:07,465 --> 00:36:09,625
brain and body are changing in some way,

1018
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:11,565
and I'm trying to adapt.

1019
00:36:14,460 --> 00:36:16,460
Has it changed the way you give me

1020
00:36:16,460 --> 00:36:18,699
tasks as your submissives now that you know

1021
00:36:18,699 --> 00:36:19,339
my memory is

1022
00:36:23,340 --> 00:36:26,880
it's not so much based on your memory.

1023
00:36:27,019 --> 00:36:28,255
Mhmm. Okay.

1024
00:36:29,755 --> 00:36:30,974
What makes me

1025
00:36:32,555 --> 00:36:34,175
think about giving you tasks

1026
00:36:34,555 --> 00:36:35,535
at at this

1027
00:36:36,074 --> 00:36:36,574
point

1028
00:36:36,954 --> 00:36:39,434
is what you have going on at any

1029
00:36:39,434 --> 00:36:42,250
given time. Mhmm. Gotcha. That that is more

1030
00:36:42,250 --> 00:36:42,730
of a

1031
00:36:43,529 --> 00:36:44,889
So when I do forget and I have

1032
00:36:44,889 --> 00:36:46,650
to come to you and go, hi. I

1033
00:36:46,650 --> 00:36:48,429
forgot. And I don't forget

1034
00:36:49,529 --> 00:36:51,609
you've gotten much better about deadlines. Like, if

1035
00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:52,969
you give me a deadline, I just go

1036
00:36:52,969 --> 00:36:55,130
ahead and do it Right. Within moments, so

1037
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:55,605
I can't forget

1038
00:36:56,565 --> 00:36:58,228
But if it's an open ended one, so

1039
00:36:58,228 --> 00:36:59,605
there is no deadline, I just need to

1040
00:36:59,605 --> 00:37:00,184
do it.

1041
00:37:00,644 --> 00:37:03,204
You have have become very sort of kind

1042
00:37:03,204 --> 00:37:05,284
and understanding about the, hey, can you remind

1043
00:37:05,284 --> 00:37:07,045
me? How do you feel when I'm having

1044
00:37:07,045 --> 00:37:08,489
to come to you and go, hi, I

1045
00:37:08,650 --> 00:37:09,150
forgot.

1046
00:37:10,409 --> 00:37:12,250
You know, believe it or not, I'm I'm

1047
00:37:12,809 --> 00:37:14,570
more than anything, I'm glad that you can

1048
00:37:14,570 --> 00:37:16,250
come to me and and tell me that.

1049
00:37:16,250 --> 00:37:17,929
Mhmm. Yeah. It would it would be it

1050
00:37:17,929 --> 00:37:19,449
would be a hot mess around here if

1051
00:37:19,449 --> 00:37:20,030
I was

1052
00:37:20,329 --> 00:37:20,829
so

1053
00:37:22,244 --> 00:37:24,565
anxious or worried about how you were gonna

1054
00:37:24,565 --> 00:37:25,545
react or

1055
00:37:26,005 --> 00:37:28,404
worried about I went through this already, so

1056
00:37:28,404 --> 00:37:29,764
I can talk about it now. Worried about

1057
00:37:29,764 --> 00:37:31,545
what it says about me as a submissive.

1058
00:37:32,085 --> 00:37:34,484
It doesn't say really, y'all, whether you're submissive

1059
00:37:34,484 --> 00:37:35,065
or dominant,

1060
00:37:35,364 --> 00:37:37,769
if these symptoms are fucking with how you

1061
00:37:37,769 --> 00:37:39,390
function in your power exchange,

1062
00:37:39,930 --> 00:37:42,410
you are not doing anything wrong. You're going

1063
00:37:42,410 --> 00:37:44,829
through a massive hormonal shift

1064
00:37:45,289 --> 00:37:46,970
and it take it can take a while

1065
00:37:46,970 --> 00:37:48,974
to adjust. It it probably took me a

1066
00:37:48,974 --> 00:37:50,195
few years to finally

1067
00:37:50,575 --> 00:37:52,255
go, if it's not written down, I don't

1068
00:37:52,255 --> 00:37:55,135
exist. And also, I'm humble enough to go,

1069
00:37:55,135 --> 00:37:55,954
I forgot.

1070
00:37:57,375 --> 00:37:58,595
Can you help me?

1071
00:38:00,175 --> 00:38:01,454
So if you are the partner of a

1072
00:38:01,454 --> 00:38:04,170
person like that, extend a little grace, please.

1073
00:38:04,170 --> 00:38:06,909
Extend a little grace. The the biggest one

1074
00:38:07,610 --> 00:38:08,809
they're all they all feel like the biggest

1075
00:38:08,809 --> 00:38:10,650
because they feel like biggest in different areas

1076
00:38:10,650 --> 00:38:12,969
of our power exchange. The low libido, the

1077
00:38:12,969 --> 00:38:14,110
no sex drive.

1078
00:38:14,489 --> 00:38:16,489
Now I am a person, during times of

1079
00:38:16,489 --> 00:38:17,230
high stress,

1080
00:38:17,855 --> 00:38:20,094
I ain't got no sex drive anyway. But

1081
00:38:20,094 --> 00:38:20,914
this happened

1082
00:38:21,454 --> 00:38:23,154
I'd started to, like, tank.

1083
00:38:23,694 --> 00:38:26,414
I'm gonna say definitely 2019, but I really

1084
00:38:26,414 --> 00:38:29,375
think 2018 is when it started to diminish,

1085
00:38:29,375 --> 00:38:32,359
which is where I kind of clock myself

1086
00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:34,199
as probably going into perimenopause.

1087
00:38:35,219 --> 00:38:37,059
But I if I'm trying to do the

1088
00:38:37,059 --> 00:38:38,579
math on it, on that seven to ten

1089
00:38:38,579 --> 00:38:41,159
years, I start with 2019 just to be

1090
00:38:41,460 --> 00:38:42,440
safe or whatever.

1091
00:38:43,425 --> 00:38:44,565
But the low libido

1092
00:38:45,425 --> 00:38:48,785
has forced us now because low libido started

1093
00:38:48,785 --> 00:38:51,425
when there was no outside air quote reasons

1094
00:38:51,425 --> 00:38:53,025
for it. There wasn't extra stress. There wasn't

1095
00:38:53,025 --> 00:38:55,105
extra pressure. I just one day I just

1096
00:38:55,105 --> 00:38:56,465
was like, what is sex and why do

1097
00:38:56,465 --> 00:38:57,789
I care about it? It?'

1098
00:38:58,750 --> 00:39:00,750
and then we hit the several years of

1099
00:39:00,750 --> 00:39:02,829
high stress where of course I didn't have

1100
00:39:02,829 --> 00:39:04,449
libido, you didn't have libido.

1101
00:39:05,469 --> 00:39:05,969
I

1102
00:39:06,510 --> 00:39:08,510
we are now coming out of those several

1103
00:39:08,510 --> 00:39:09,739
years Yeah.

1104
00:39:10,055 --> 00:39:12,535
Finding our way through. But be while you

1105
00:39:12,535 --> 00:39:14,614
were still like, I'm down to fuck. It

1106
00:39:14,614 --> 00:39:16,295
could I would love to fuck. And I

1107
00:39:16,295 --> 00:39:18,075
was at the point of, what is sex?

1108
00:39:18,295 --> 00:39:19,275
Don't know her.

1109
00:39:21,735 --> 00:39:22,235
Sorry.

1110
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:24,640
It was a lost point of connection and

1111
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,480
intimacy. We've we've talked about that because we've

1112
00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,880
done an episode on low sec you know,

1113
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,739
low arousal levels and and libido.

1114
00:39:31,519 --> 00:39:33,059
It was a lost point of connection.

1115
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:34,180
It was

1116
00:39:34,655 --> 00:39:36,594
stressful for both of us. Yeah.

1117
00:39:37,135 --> 00:39:39,375
Putting it in context of perimenopause and the

1118
00:39:39,375 --> 00:39:41,934
symptoms and and you being the witness to

1119
00:39:41,934 --> 00:39:43,074
how I have

1120
00:39:43,695 --> 00:39:45,375
changed. And I and I have to say

1121
00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:46,275
this, you know,

1122
00:39:46,734 --> 00:39:47,954
to everybody here.

1123
00:39:48,734 --> 00:39:49,635
In the beginning,

1124
00:39:50,309 --> 00:39:52,170
when when a lot of this stuff started

1125
00:39:53,670 --> 00:39:55,690
happening, the changes, these changes,

1126
00:39:57,829 --> 00:39:59,989
now I I don't think I ever actually

1127
00:39:59,989 --> 00:40:00,489
got

1128
00:40:01,030 --> 00:40:01,530
angry

1129
00:40:01,910 --> 00:40:03,925
Mhmm. With you about any of it. You

1130
00:40:03,925 --> 00:40:05,605
could get frustrated with me at times. Frustrated.

1131
00:40:05,605 --> 00:40:07,204
I I felt mad. I I I was

1132
00:40:07,204 --> 00:40:08,184
I was very

1133
00:40:09,204 --> 00:40:09,704
frustrated

1134
00:40:10,085 --> 00:40:10,905
for a while,

1135
00:40:11,605 --> 00:40:13,144
until I began to understand

1136
00:40:13,445 --> 00:40:16,105
understanding more of what was happening. Mhmm.

1137
00:40:18,079 --> 00:40:20,179
Yeah. And part of that was me communicating

1138
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:21,599
and part of I think part of it

1139
00:40:21,599 --> 00:40:23,360
I think it was how consistent it all

1140
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,679
was. This wasn't a couple of bad days.

1141
00:40:25,679 --> 00:40:27,460
This wasn't me just, like,

1142
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:30,000
you know, putting my brain into out of

1143
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,420
office and just checking out. This was

1144
00:40:33,065 --> 00:40:35,164
all the time. But in the

1145
00:40:36,425 --> 00:40:38,425
my memory is has always been kinda shitty

1146
00:40:38,425 --> 00:40:40,765
on certain things, but it's really shitty now.

1147
00:40:41,305 --> 00:40:41,805
My

1148
00:40:42,825 --> 00:40:44,985
recollection of all this is that certain thing

1149
00:40:45,065 --> 00:40:46,505
no. It wasn't an all at once. I

1150
00:40:46,505 --> 00:40:48,269
didn't wake up one day and have, like,

1151
00:40:48,349 --> 00:40:48,929
10 symptoms.

1152
00:40:49,550 --> 00:40:51,469
It was a gradual thing where it was

1153
00:40:51,469 --> 00:40:53,550
sort of one at a time. First, it

1154
00:40:53,550 --> 00:40:54,050
was

1155
00:40:54,750 --> 00:40:57,409
I believe, first, it was my anxiety spiked,

1156
00:40:57,630 --> 00:40:58,769
something fierce.

1157
00:40:59,309 --> 00:41:01,550
Then there was probably some other stuff. I

1158
00:41:01,550 --> 00:41:02,210
I didn't

1159
00:41:02,510 --> 00:41:04,525
catch it. Then it was the low libido.

1160
00:41:04,525 --> 00:41:06,945
Sex the the desire for sex,

1161
00:41:07,804 --> 00:41:09,565
just gone. And that was at the time

1162
00:41:09,565 --> 00:41:11,724
I was still sex blogging blogging. So that

1163
00:41:11,724 --> 00:41:12,545
really, like,

1164
00:41:13,005 --> 00:41:13,744
that was

1165
00:41:14,364 --> 00:41:15,664
hard on me professionally

1166
00:41:15,965 --> 00:41:17,885
and and how I saw myself as a

1167
00:41:17,885 --> 00:41:18,385
professional

1168
00:41:19,219 --> 00:41:21,219
and hard on our relationship and hard on

1169
00:41:21,219 --> 00:41:22,199
me as a submissive.

1170
00:41:23,139 --> 00:41:24,519
We've talked about,

1171
00:41:25,219 --> 00:41:28,019
free use in past episodes. We've talked about

1172
00:41:28,019 --> 00:41:30,420
it throughout many other episodes. The reason we

1173
00:41:30,420 --> 00:41:33,405
were having sex from about sometime in 2018,

1174
00:41:33,485 --> 00:41:35,244
but definitely all of 2019

1175
00:41:35,244 --> 00:41:36,304
into 2020

1176
00:41:36,525 --> 00:41:39,804
was because JB had basic permission to just

1177
00:41:39,804 --> 00:41:41,804
do it whenever the fuck he wanted and

1178
00:41:41,804 --> 00:41:42,864
I would be there.

1179
00:41:43,405 --> 00:41:43,905
And

1180
00:41:44,525 --> 00:41:47,159
the strangest thing is that I if I

1181
00:41:47,159 --> 00:41:48,679
wanted to speak up and say, no. No.

1182
00:41:48,679 --> 00:41:50,039
This isn't a good time. You know, I

1183
00:41:50,039 --> 00:41:51,800
don't consent to this. That would have always

1184
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,900
been available. But what was actually

1185
00:41:54,359 --> 00:41:57,400
oftentimes happening was I really it wasn't just

1186
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:59,579
no desire. I did not wanna have sex,

1187
00:41:59,835 --> 00:42:01,195
but I knew this was the only way

1188
00:42:01,195 --> 00:42:02,175
we were gonna connect

1189
00:42:02,554 --> 00:42:04,014
intimately. And so

1190
00:42:04,554 --> 00:42:06,315
the the it wasn't a, oh, I just

1191
00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:07,594
don't feel like it. It was like, I

1192
00:42:07,594 --> 00:42:08,094
I

1193
00:42:08,394 --> 00:42:08,894
don't

1194
00:42:09,195 --> 00:42:11,275
I I could be doing anything else right

1195
00:42:11,275 --> 00:42:13,755
now, but I want to I wanted to

1196
00:42:13,755 --> 00:42:15,739
be connected to him. And so

1197
00:42:16,039 --> 00:42:17,800
I got the whole why don't I want

1198
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,960
sex when I literally talk about sex as

1199
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,300
part of my professional life? And also

1200
00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:25,079
kinky sex is a big part of our

1201
00:42:25,079 --> 00:42:26,699
connection. I was this

1202
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,505
with every new symptom that changed how I

1203
00:42:29,585 --> 00:42:31,605
functioned in our relationship especially,

1204
00:42:32,144 --> 00:42:34,484
that being power exchange most importantly,

1205
00:42:35,264 --> 00:42:35,764
I

1206
00:42:36,224 --> 00:42:38,625
had this sort of roller coaster of what

1207
00:42:38,625 --> 00:42:41,344
is wrong with me? Why can't I do

1208
00:42:41,344 --> 00:42:42,724
what I once did?

1209
00:42:43,184 --> 00:42:45,449
And when you talk to people usually, who

1210
00:42:45,449 --> 00:42:46,809
have gone through these things who are older

1211
00:42:46,809 --> 00:42:49,210
than you, certainly doctors, it's always like, well,

1212
00:42:49,210 --> 00:42:50,889
it's just part of aging. Well, yeah. But

1213
00:42:50,889 --> 00:42:52,969
this fucking sucks. And there are things I

1214
00:42:52,969 --> 00:42:54,670
want to be doing in my life

1215
00:42:55,050 --> 00:42:57,050
that that make me feel complete and whole

1216
00:42:57,050 --> 00:42:59,690
and good and are great for my confidence,

1217
00:42:59,690 --> 00:43:01,105
and now I can't. And you're just gonna

1218
00:43:01,105 --> 00:43:01,765
tell me,

1219
00:43:02,785 --> 00:43:04,325
sucks getting old. No.

1220
00:43:04,864 --> 00:43:05,364
No.

1221
00:43:05,985 --> 00:43:08,545
No. There are certain things. Yes. I can

1222
00:43:08,545 --> 00:43:10,785
I cannot do as I've gotten older? I

1223
00:43:10,785 --> 00:43:12,965
know that. But a whole

1224
00:43:14,329 --> 00:43:14,829
mental

1225
00:43:15,690 --> 00:43:16,190
emotional

1226
00:43:16,650 --> 00:43:17,150
shift?

1227
00:43:18,090 --> 00:43:20,409
Like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, that

1228
00:43:20,409 --> 00:43:22,409
might be natural because perimenopause does that to

1229
00:43:22,409 --> 00:43:23,469
you, but

1230
00:43:24,090 --> 00:43:26,534
I mean just the way it it just

1231
00:43:26,534 --> 00:43:29,014
sapped my confidence is a submissive. We we've

1232
00:43:29,014 --> 00:43:30,614
talked about this a little bit over the

1233
00:43:30,614 --> 00:43:31,594
past few years

1234
00:43:32,214 --> 00:43:34,534
because I I can find ways. My my

1235
00:43:34,534 --> 00:43:35,034
Pollyanna,

1236
00:43:35,574 --> 00:43:38,315
you know, brain is always, like,

1237
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:40,260
looking for the good,

1238
00:43:40,799 --> 00:43:42,880
can find the things that are good and

1239
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,400
and keep things going and make me feel

1240
00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,000
good about myself as a submissive. But the

1241
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:47,859
reality is is when some of these symptoms

1242
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:49,059
were just

1243
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,420
hammering me,

1244
00:43:50,994 --> 00:43:52,914
That was my immediate thought is what is

1245
00:43:52,914 --> 00:43:54,675
wrong with me? Why can't I do this

1246
00:43:54,675 --> 00:43:56,835
anymore? So if you have ever had that

1247
00:43:56,835 --> 00:43:58,675
feeling or you're having that feeling now, I

1248
00:43:58,675 --> 00:44:00,775
want you to know you are not alone.

1249
00:44:04,355 --> 00:44:04,855
I

1250
00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:07,750
also

1251
00:44:08,530 --> 00:44:09,750
I had a thing and

1252
00:44:10,210 --> 00:44:12,710
perimenopause in action or is it

1253
00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:14,230
a neurodivergency

1254
00:44:14,609 --> 00:44:16,130
or is it both? I don't know. But

1255
00:44:16,130 --> 00:44:17,809
the thought is completely out of my brain

1256
00:44:17,809 --> 00:44:18,630
hole now.

1257
00:44:20,264 --> 00:44:22,184
What would you add to some of this?

1258
00:44:22,184 --> 00:44:23,625
I had a thing and I forgot what

1259
00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:24,284
for y'all.

1260
00:44:24,664 --> 00:44:25,724
A little bit maybe.

1261
00:44:26,664 --> 00:44:28,744
I was gonna say, at this point in

1262
00:44:28,744 --> 00:44:29,644
time, looking

1263
00:44:30,344 --> 00:44:30,844
back

1264
00:44:31,304 --> 00:44:32,605
in some instances,

1265
00:44:33,464 --> 00:44:34,844
there was a point where

1266
00:44:35,670 --> 00:44:36,170
your

1267
00:44:36,550 --> 00:44:37,929
anxiety started spiking.

1268
00:44:38,389 --> 00:44:39,449
Yeah. Okay.

1269
00:44:40,230 --> 00:44:40,730
And

1270
00:44:41,909 --> 00:44:43,050
it also coincided

1271
00:44:43,829 --> 00:44:45,369
towards the end of,

1272
00:44:46,469 --> 00:44:48,469
making the decision for you to remove your

1273
00:44:48,469 --> 00:44:48,969
IUD.

1274
00:44:49,894 --> 00:44:51,514
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

1275
00:44:51,894 --> 00:44:52,394
And

1276
00:44:52,934 --> 00:44:53,434
our

1277
00:44:53,894 --> 00:44:54,394
collective,

1278
00:44:55,574 --> 00:44:57,835
hope was that, you know, when you got

1279
00:44:58,295 --> 00:44:59,434
the IUD removed

1280
00:44:59,894 --> 00:45:01,275
that some of that might

1281
00:45:01,940 --> 00:45:03,239
level out for you.

1282
00:45:04,500 --> 00:45:06,819
Yeah. That's all I know. And it is

1283
00:45:06,819 --> 00:45:08,759
not what happened at all.

1284
00:45:09,460 --> 00:45:09,960
That's

1285
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:12,900
the thing. So, you know, sometimes I wonder

1286
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,440
if that little spike

1287
00:45:15,139 --> 00:45:15,799
in anxiety

1288
00:45:16,454 --> 00:45:17,914
that was kind of the beginning

1289
00:45:18,375 --> 00:45:20,155
Probably. Of that. Probably.

1290
00:45:20,775 --> 00:45:23,094
It's it's hard. Anxiety being a symptom of

1291
00:45:23,094 --> 00:45:23,594
perimenopause

1292
00:45:24,535 --> 00:45:26,695
is like several other symptoms in that it

1293
00:45:26,695 --> 00:45:27,335
sucks because

1294
00:45:29,309 --> 00:45:29,969
I mean,

1295
00:45:30,269 --> 00:45:31,789
look at the world today. There are plenty

1296
00:45:31,789 --> 00:45:33,090
of things to be legitimately

1297
00:45:33,469 --> 00:45:35,230
anxious about. Mhmm. There are things in per

1298
00:45:35,309 --> 00:45:36,989
your personal life to be anxious about. There

1299
00:45:36,989 --> 00:45:39,170
are things in the broader world at large,

1300
00:45:39,390 --> 00:45:41,650
Jesus Christ, to be anxious about.

1301
00:45:42,110 --> 00:45:43,070
So it's

1302
00:45:43,789 --> 00:45:45,954
it it feels even when when it's not

1303
00:45:45,954 --> 00:45:48,755
perimenopausal, you just are diagnosed with anxiety. Right?

1304
00:45:48,755 --> 00:45:51,715
It feels so small to go, well, I'm

1305
00:45:51,715 --> 00:45:54,275
anxious. And and a person with common sense

1306
00:45:54,275 --> 00:45:55,554
is gonna look at maybe at your life

1307
00:45:55,554 --> 00:45:56,755
or the world and go, well, of course

1308
00:45:56,755 --> 00:45:58,514
you are. How could you not be? No

1309
00:45:58,514 --> 00:46:00,269
no no no. This is a level of

1310
00:46:00,269 --> 00:46:02,050
it and a depth of it

1311
00:46:03,789 --> 00:46:06,349
that I was never fully able to articulate

1312
00:46:06,349 --> 00:46:07,949
because all that would come out was I

1313
00:46:07,949 --> 00:46:09,630
am so scared. I'm so scared. I'm panicked.

1314
00:46:09,630 --> 00:46:11,789
I can't breathe. You know, the worst possible

1315
00:46:11,789 --> 00:46:14,050
thing ever is going to happen. And

1316
00:46:14,914 --> 00:46:17,094
I've been anxious my whole life, but just

1317
00:46:17,635 --> 00:46:18,775
not to that level,

1318
00:46:19,394 --> 00:46:20,835
to where I was like, I maybe I

1319
00:46:20,835 --> 00:46:23,414
need to be fucking medicated for this.

1320
00:46:24,114 --> 00:46:26,514
But we we didn't have the means to

1321
00:46:26,514 --> 00:46:27,800
do that.

1322
00:46:28,820 --> 00:46:29,960
I'm I can say,

1323
00:46:31,219 --> 00:46:34,920
when my HRT meds, I'm on, estradiol, progesterone,

1324
00:46:35,140 --> 00:46:37,719
and a testosterone cream that also has estradiol

1325
00:46:38,180 --> 00:46:40,500
in it. When I'm on all three of

1326
00:46:40,500 --> 00:46:42,315
those at full level, which I am not

1327
00:46:43,275 --> 00:46:43,675
currently,

1328
00:46:44,234 --> 00:46:46,315
after after it's in my system for a

1329
00:46:46,315 --> 00:46:47,914
while, a couple months usually is what it

1330
00:46:47,914 --> 00:46:48,574
takes me,

1331
00:46:49,114 --> 00:46:51,514
my anxiety is my air quote normal level

1332
00:46:51,514 --> 00:46:53,994
anxiety. Right? Like, once I started once I

1333
00:46:53,994 --> 00:46:55,675
got all my HRT good and it was,

1334
00:46:55,675 --> 00:46:57,214
like, working in my system,

1335
00:46:57,675 --> 00:46:59,730
I stopped crying at night because I was

1336
00:46:59,730 --> 00:47:01,410
terrified you would die in the middle of

1337
00:47:01,410 --> 00:47:02,369
the night. That

1338
00:47:04,449 --> 00:47:05,030
yeah. Yeah.

1339
00:47:07,730 --> 00:47:09,650
The other thing I've done that's not met

1340
00:47:09,650 --> 00:47:12,184
is coping skills. Everything gets written

1341
00:47:12,485 --> 00:47:15,364
down. Mhmm. Now I then have to remember

1342
00:47:15,364 --> 00:47:17,364
where I've written it down at, and it

1343
00:47:17,364 --> 00:47:19,684
can't be on multiple pieces of paper. It

1344
00:47:19,684 --> 00:47:21,545
has to all be on one.

1345
00:47:22,565 --> 00:47:24,805
The making me do the family calendar was

1346
00:47:24,805 --> 00:47:26,940
good, and we talked about that Yeah. Ages

1347
00:47:26,940 --> 00:47:28,059
ago. That was good for a lot of

1348
00:47:28,059 --> 00:47:29,679
reasons, but that was

1349
00:47:29,980 --> 00:47:32,480
brilliant for my fucking memory. Yeah. Because

1350
00:47:32,859 --> 00:47:34,539
It freed up. It freed up so much

1351
00:47:34,539 --> 00:47:35,599
brain space. Mhmm.

1352
00:47:36,219 --> 00:47:37,739
Let me look at these symptoms because I

1353
00:47:37,820 --> 00:47:39,980
there's just Alright. And and while you're doing

1354
00:47:39,980 --> 00:47:41,420
that, I want Yeah. Go ahead. In case

1355
00:47:41,420 --> 00:47:42,675
you had a question. Sure.

1356
00:47:43,315 --> 00:47:44,454
Kayla, do you think

1357
00:47:44,755 --> 00:47:45,335
the peri

1358
00:47:46,355 --> 00:47:48,054
the peri induced low libido

1359
00:47:48,355 --> 00:47:50,054
contributed to the to

1360
00:47:50,515 --> 00:47:52,934
the poly jealousy feelings you felt?

1361
00:47:54,755 --> 00:47:55,255
I

1362
00:47:55,635 --> 00:47:56,460
do not think

1363
00:47:58,059 --> 00:48:00,400
so because the feelings I felt

1364
00:48:01,739 --> 00:48:02,719
came from

1365
00:48:03,099 --> 00:48:05,599
stuff that was older than being in perimenopause.

1366
00:48:05,900 --> 00:48:08,719
It came from insecurities I've long held,

1367
00:48:09,260 --> 00:48:09,760
and

1368
00:48:12,014 --> 00:48:14,255
I was I was able to to some

1369
00:48:14,255 --> 00:48:16,414
degrees work through some of those feelings, and

1370
00:48:16,414 --> 00:48:16,914
then

1371
00:48:17,295 --> 00:48:18,034
they were

1372
00:48:18,574 --> 00:48:20,594
not kicking my ass later.

1373
00:48:21,775 --> 00:48:24,255
They're there's they've never gone away completely, but

1374
00:48:24,255 --> 00:48:26,355
in each time I've dealt with that those

1375
00:48:27,570 --> 00:48:29,989
those insecure those feelings of insecurity,

1376
00:48:30,530 --> 00:48:32,369
they've been a little less and a little

1377
00:48:32,369 --> 00:48:34,450
better each time, which means I'm working through

1378
00:48:34,450 --> 00:48:35,110
some things.

1379
00:48:35,410 --> 00:48:37,489
And it's in my mind it's not an

1380
00:48:37,489 --> 00:48:40,074
outside trigger. It's it's internal. It's

1381
00:48:40,563 --> 00:48:41,052
Yeah.

1382
00:48:41,541 --> 00:48:43,009
It's stuff I

1383
00:48:43,498 --> 00:48:47,411
bad things I believe about myself that definitely

1384
00:48:47,411 --> 00:48:51,325
are not true that come from probably pre

1385
00:48:51,325 --> 00:48:52,793
puberty, quite frankly.

1386
00:48:53,282 --> 00:48:54,750
So digestive issues.

1387
00:48:56,590 --> 00:48:59,250
Anybody can have digestive issues for any

1388
00:48:59,550 --> 00:49:00,050
reason.

1389
00:49:00,349 --> 00:49:03,150
It can be because of, another chronic condition

1390
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:04,690
or illness. It can be

1391
00:49:05,469 --> 00:49:05,969
anxiety.

1392
00:49:06,590 --> 00:49:09,090
It could be perimenopause. My experience was perimenopause.

1393
00:49:10,414 --> 00:49:12,655
Fucked it up so bad. One of the

1394
00:49:12,655 --> 00:49:14,574
symptoms in the list here is bloating. I

1395
00:49:15,614 --> 00:49:17,855
prior to my hysterectomy and prior to HRT

1396
00:49:17,855 --> 00:49:20,014
and prior to things I started doing for

1397
00:49:20,014 --> 00:49:21,315
my reproductive health,

1398
00:49:22,414 --> 00:49:24,675
I could look eight or nine months pregnant

1399
00:49:25,695 --> 00:49:26,070
easily.

1400
00:49:27,030 --> 00:49:29,610
And guess what? It's real real hard

1401
00:49:30,230 --> 00:49:32,410
to care about sexy kinky times,

1402
00:49:33,510 --> 00:49:36,070
or to feel your most submissive self when

1403
00:49:36,070 --> 00:49:37,530
you can't even bend over

1404
00:49:37,989 --> 00:49:38,489
without

1405
00:49:38,934 --> 00:49:41,094
thinking you're gonna vomit? Or does it hurt

1406
00:49:41,094 --> 00:49:43,674
so bad because your whole stomach is like,

1407
00:49:43,815 --> 00:49:45,594
bitch, what have you done to us?

1408
00:49:48,135 --> 00:49:50,394
I spent the latter part of my thirties,

1409
00:49:50,534 --> 00:49:52,059
I spent a lot of time going, it

1410
00:49:52,059 --> 00:49:53,739
didn't used to be like I didn't used

1411
00:49:53,739 --> 00:49:55,260
to have this problem. I didn't used to

1412
00:49:55,260 --> 00:49:56,159
have this problem.

1413
00:49:57,260 --> 00:49:59,339
My doctor's been trying very hard for me

1414
00:49:59,339 --> 00:50:01,260
to get my cholesterol down naturally because she's

1415
00:50:01,260 --> 00:50:02,619
like, I don't wanna put you on a

1416
00:50:02,619 --> 00:50:04,880
cholesterol medicine if I don't have to.

1417
00:50:05,285 --> 00:50:07,285
And then I learned from Doctor. Mary Claire

1418
00:50:07,285 --> 00:50:10,244
Haver that high cholesterol is a symptom of

1419
00:50:10,244 --> 00:50:11,625
perimenopause. If you

1420
00:50:12,325 --> 00:50:13,864
have not had high cholesterol

1421
00:50:14,565 --> 00:50:16,505
prior to basically hitting perimenopause

1422
00:50:17,045 --> 00:50:18,360
and it's not like major lifestyle

1423
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:20,539
changes or you've done the

1424
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:22,360
things that should bring down your cholesterol, and

1425
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:24,140
I have, and it still doesn't come down,

1426
00:50:24,599 --> 00:50:26,039
that could be a sign of perimenopause. Or

1427
00:50:26,039 --> 00:50:27,559
that could be one of the symptoms. High.

1428
00:50:27,559 --> 00:50:29,019
High blood pressure. High.

1429
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:32,519
But those early years, I spent so long

1430
00:50:32,519 --> 00:50:34,494
going, but I've never had this problem, I've

1431
00:50:34,494 --> 00:50:36,175
never had this problem, I've never had this

1432
00:50:36,175 --> 00:50:38,574
problem, and then here I am with these

1433
00:50:38,574 --> 00:50:39,074
problems.

1434
00:50:39,614 --> 00:50:42,014
The weight gain is real. I blamed it

1435
00:50:42,014 --> 00:50:42,514
on

1436
00:50:43,695 --> 00:50:45,855
COVID, like everybody else who had weight gain

1437
00:50:45,855 --> 00:50:47,474
during that time blamed it on COVID,

1438
00:50:48,059 --> 00:50:48,719
But I was

1439
00:50:49,420 --> 00:50:49,920
also

1440
00:50:50,300 --> 00:50:52,860
reworking my relationship with food so I could

1441
00:50:52,860 --> 00:50:55,519
maybe have a better relationship with food.

1442
00:50:57,019 --> 00:50:58,700
And it's never my whole life has never

1443
00:50:58,700 --> 00:51:00,940
been easy to lose weight. I was never

1444
00:51:00,940 --> 00:51:02,480
blessed with whatever that is.

1445
00:51:03,344 --> 00:51:06,304
But it became impossible. I mean, I could

1446
00:51:06,304 --> 00:51:08,885
eat, like, the amount of calories a toddler

1447
00:51:08,945 --> 00:51:11,344
is supposed to eat. That's 1,200 for anybody

1448
00:51:11,344 --> 00:51:12,965
who tries to do those kinds of things.

1449
00:51:13,025 --> 00:51:15,684
And it nothing worked. You know? I could

1450
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:17,480
I could eat all this. I could do

1451
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:18,780
this. I could nothing.

1452
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:21,239
Part of that might be stuff that's pre

1453
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,359
perimenopause, and perimenopause is just exacerbating it, because

1454
00:51:24,359 --> 00:51:27,079
when there's hormonal things and autoimmune things and,

1455
00:51:27,079 --> 00:51:28,934
like, other things happening internally.

1456
00:51:29,554 --> 00:51:31,255
Perimenopause just makes it worse.

1457
00:51:31,875 --> 00:51:33,635
That's my new now that I think I've

1458
00:51:33,635 --> 00:51:35,474
got my hormones kind of under control, that's

1459
00:51:35,474 --> 00:51:36,934
my new thing to journey down.

1460
00:51:38,034 --> 00:51:40,034
But that was one of one of the

1461
00:51:40,034 --> 00:51:41,599
things was I was constantly going, I'm gonna

1462
00:51:41,599 --> 00:51:43,280
like this. This doesn't happen to me. I

1463
00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,360
like I said, knocked my self confidence really

1464
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:45,860
bad.

1465
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:47,780
The other part was,

1466
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,400
things that had already existed just being way

1467
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,199
worse. Right? Like, even harder to lose weight,

1468
00:51:53,199 --> 00:51:54,900
but way easier to gain weight,

1469
00:51:55,505 --> 00:51:57,744
even harder to manage my anxiety. Even, you

1470
00:51:57,744 --> 00:51:58,965
know, things like that.

1471
00:51:59,744 --> 00:52:02,625
I think the biggest thing it's done for

1472
00:52:02,625 --> 00:52:04,465
me as a submiss ever done to me

1473
00:52:04,465 --> 00:52:06,224
or however you wanna put that is is

1474
00:52:06,224 --> 00:52:07,230
my lack of confidence.

1475
00:52:08,190 --> 00:52:09,010
Not currently,

1476
00:52:09,389 --> 00:52:11,550
not always, but every time I had to

1477
00:52:11,550 --> 00:52:13,570
adjust to a new symptom

1478
00:52:14,190 --> 00:52:14,690
that

1479
00:52:14,989 --> 00:52:17,070
made me see myself differently because I was

1480
00:52:17,070 --> 00:52:18,510
over there going, I I used to be

1481
00:52:18,510 --> 00:52:20,349
able to do this. Right? I had to

1482
00:52:20,349 --> 00:52:21,090
go through

1483
00:52:22,464 --> 00:52:23,684
usually a long windy,

1484
00:52:24,385 --> 00:52:26,164
like, curly q line of

1485
00:52:27,025 --> 00:52:29,925
adjusting to that and rethinking that, you know,

1486
00:52:30,065 --> 00:52:31,045
realizing that

1487
00:52:31,585 --> 00:52:33,264
in in one way nothing is wrong with

1488
00:52:33,264 --> 00:52:35,025
me. Like, I'm not a bad submissive because

1489
00:52:35,025 --> 00:52:36,780
I'm going through this, but also then taking

1490
00:52:36,780 --> 00:52:39,180
on the, oh, this may be either a

1491
00:52:39,180 --> 00:52:41,260
symptom of something new or this is another

1492
00:52:41,260 --> 00:52:42,239
symptom of perimenopause

1493
00:52:43,019 --> 00:52:44,559
and adjusting my own expectations

1494
00:52:45,980 --> 00:52:46,719
through that

1495
00:52:47,019 --> 00:52:47,519
lens.

1496
00:52:49,844 --> 00:52:50,344
But

1497
00:52:50,885 --> 00:52:51,945
a lot of the things,

1498
00:52:52,804 --> 00:52:55,125
the memory loss, the high anxiety, the low

1499
00:52:55,125 --> 00:52:55,625
libido,

1500
00:52:56,485 --> 00:52:57,625
just the goddamn

1501
00:52:58,244 --> 00:53:00,005
the aches and pains that come from fucking

1502
00:53:00,005 --> 00:53:01,844
nowhere and make it so you can't really

1503
00:53:01,844 --> 00:53:03,304
function sometimes. Right?

1504
00:53:04,190 --> 00:53:06,509
All of those have interfered with with my

1505
00:53:06,509 --> 00:53:08,769
submission in some way that either make,

1506
00:53:09,230 --> 00:53:11,409
you know, there's less physical intimacy

1507
00:53:11,789 --> 00:53:14,369
or there's less of an ability to

1508
00:53:14,670 --> 00:53:17,230
connect emotionally sometimes. Jamie will be trying to

1509
00:53:17,230 --> 00:53:18,049
talk to me,

1510
00:53:18,635 --> 00:53:20,394
and it used to be I could focus

1511
00:53:20,394 --> 00:53:22,414
and concentrate on the things he said.

1512
00:53:24,155 --> 00:53:26,155
The lack of focus and concentration and the

1513
00:53:26,155 --> 00:53:28,394
way that sometimes affects me has absolutely sent

1514
00:53:28,394 --> 00:53:29,375
me down the,

1515
00:53:29,994 --> 00:53:31,429
do I have ADHD?

1516
00:53:31,969 --> 00:53:33,650
And I don't I don't know, and I

1517
00:53:33,650 --> 00:53:35,489
don't have the means to go deal with

1518
00:53:35,489 --> 00:53:38,769
the diagnosis. And, you know, maybe not. Maybe

1519
00:53:38,769 --> 00:53:39,909
it is just perimenopause.

1520
00:53:40,289 --> 00:53:42,690
But it is it's hard. You know? I'm

1521
00:53:42,769 --> 00:53:44,289
I am a submissive who who

1522
00:53:45,234 --> 00:53:47,234
twenty four seven submissive, I am always submissive

1523
00:53:47,234 --> 00:53:49,155
to JB. No. It doesn't always look like

1524
00:53:49,155 --> 00:53:51,494
it from the outside, but internally, I am.

1525
00:53:51,795 --> 00:53:54,195
And I can't focus on anything he's trying

1526
00:53:54,195 --> 00:53:55,554
to tell me. Well, you wanna know how

1527
00:53:55,554 --> 00:53:57,635
hard that is to know that you have

1528
00:53:57,635 --> 00:54:00,660
tasks to do, remember them, and or

1529
00:54:01,119 --> 00:54:03,680
I'll have your partner feel important to you.

1530
00:54:03,680 --> 00:54:05,840
Like, it's not that he's not important to

1531
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:06,739
me. It's that

1532
00:54:07,519 --> 00:54:09,920
the the brain just wanders now in ways

1533
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,539
it never did before.

1534
00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,764
Never. My ability to focus in the past

1535
00:54:14,764 --> 00:54:15,324
was this

1536
00:54:15,804 --> 00:54:17,484
what I would have called scary. Like, I

1537
00:54:17,484 --> 00:54:19,344
didn't hear anything else around me.

1538
00:54:19,724 --> 00:54:21,565
I can do that now, but it is

1539
00:54:21,565 --> 00:54:23,404
never when I want to do it. It's

1540
00:54:23,404 --> 00:54:25,449
never when the light of my life is

1541
00:54:25,449 --> 00:54:27,130
trying to talk to me about something and

1542
00:54:27,130 --> 00:54:29,449
I have to retain the information. It's when

1543
00:54:29,449 --> 00:54:31,289
I go down my own personal rabbit hole

1544
00:54:31,289 --> 00:54:33,150
and I'm doing a thing, right?

1545
00:54:35,530 --> 00:54:36,030
So

1546
00:54:37,050 --> 00:54:39,469
nearly every symptom I've had has interfered

1547
00:54:40,525 --> 00:54:42,045
with me as a submissive in some way.

1548
00:54:42,045 --> 00:54:42,545
And

1549
00:54:42,844 --> 00:54:44,385
much of it has been a rethinking.

1550
00:54:45,005 --> 00:54:46,945
All of it has required clear communication.

1551
00:54:47,244 --> 00:54:48,525
Like, I have to tell you what I'm

1552
00:54:48,525 --> 00:54:50,844
going through. You have gotten better now that

1553
00:54:50,925 --> 00:54:52,320
I think part of it is being able

1554
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:54,320
to put the name to it's it's likely

1555
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:56,239
perimenopause. I don't think it's something new. Whatever

1556
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:57,699
this symptom is today, it's perimenopause.

1557
00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,360
Because in the beginning, we didn't have that

1558
00:54:59,360 --> 00:55:01,199
word for it. I was just shit was

1559
00:55:01,199 --> 00:55:02,400
happening to me, and you were like, what?

1560
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,800
Didn't like What's wrong with you? What's wrong

1561
00:55:04,800 --> 00:55:05,144
with you?

1562
00:55:05,784 --> 00:55:07,304
I don't say this as a criticism to

1563
00:55:07,304 --> 00:55:08,605
you now. It is retrospect.

1564
00:55:08,905 --> 00:55:10,425
Looking back, I can see this, so I'm

1565
00:55:10,425 --> 00:55:12,344
gonna tell anybody who might need this for

1566
00:55:12,344 --> 00:55:13,005
the future.

1567
00:55:13,704 --> 00:55:16,344
I understand that urge to look at your

1568
00:55:16,344 --> 00:55:18,309
partner, whatever side of of the slash, and

1569
00:55:18,309 --> 00:55:19,929
go, what is wrong with you?

1570
00:55:21,510 --> 00:55:22,869
If you happen to be a little bit

1571
00:55:22,869 --> 00:55:24,630
like me, there's a good chance you will

1572
00:55:24,630 --> 00:55:26,230
take it a little bit like I did,

1573
00:55:26,230 --> 00:55:28,489
which is the gut punch that it is.

1574
00:55:28,710 --> 00:55:29,210
Because

1575
00:55:29,510 --> 00:55:32,250
for a partner to notice your symptoms,

1576
00:55:32,984 --> 00:55:34,664
good chances are you've been living you've been

1577
00:55:34,664 --> 00:55:37,304
noticing it much longer. Right? You've either been

1578
00:55:37,304 --> 00:55:39,944
trying to cope and hide them or you've

1579
00:55:39,944 --> 00:55:42,105
been able to catch problems before your partner

1580
00:55:42,105 --> 00:55:43,704
notices. And so then by the time your

1581
00:55:43,704 --> 00:55:46,125
partner notices and going, what's wrong with you?

1582
00:55:46,700 --> 00:55:49,019
That can hit on an internal way that

1583
00:55:49,019 --> 00:55:50,700
nobody means for it to. Like, a good

1584
00:55:50,700 --> 00:55:53,420
partner does not mean to make you feel

1585
00:55:53,420 --> 00:55:55,599
worse about whatever you're going through

1586
00:55:55,900 --> 00:55:58,240
by asking that question. But I am telling

1587
00:55:58,460 --> 00:56:00,460
future y'all who might need this at some

1588
00:56:00,460 --> 00:56:00,960
point,

1589
00:56:02,155 --> 00:56:04,635
try to be careful how you get to

1590
00:56:04,635 --> 00:56:07,195
the bottom of that information. Like, I would

1591
00:56:07,195 --> 00:56:09,515
I would tell JB today, maybe don't maybe

1592
00:56:09,515 --> 00:56:10,735
don't say it that way.

1593
00:56:11,434 --> 00:56:13,835
Yeah. Maybe maybe and I this depends on

1594
00:56:13,835 --> 00:56:15,835
the person. Maybe something like, I see that

1595
00:56:15,835 --> 00:56:17,360
this is difficult for you or I see

1596
00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:18,900
that there's a difference here.

1597
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:21,760
Is there anything I can help you with?

1598
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:23,219
Is something going on?

1599
00:56:23,519 --> 00:56:25,280
Can you tell me? You know, whatever. However

1600
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:26,739
you do that conversation. But

1601
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:29,280
when he said, what's wrong with you? It

1602
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:31,775
was already echoing my internal, what the fuck

1603
00:56:31,775 --> 00:56:33,075
is wrong with me?

1604
00:56:34,494 --> 00:56:36,015
If any of y'all get to go through

1605
00:56:36,015 --> 00:56:36,515
perimenopause

1606
00:56:36,815 --> 00:56:38,894
and and it's the mild kind, I'm very

1607
00:56:38,894 --> 00:56:40,655
happy for you, but also I hate you.

1608
00:56:40,655 --> 00:56:43,179
I love you, but I hate you. Because

1609
00:56:43,179 --> 00:56:44,960
I don't think I have, like, the debilitating

1610
00:56:45,019 --> 00:56:46,860
perimenopause. I probably have run of the mill

1611
00:56:46,860 --> 00:56:48,480
average perimenopause. Right?

1612
00:56:48,780 --> 00:56:49,280
And

1613
00:56:49,659 --> 00:56:51,599
everybody I've ever kind of

1614
00:56:51,980 --> 00:56:54,239
heard talk about their experience who has

1615
00:56:54,699 --> 00:56:56,619
multiple symptoms, but maybe not like they can

1616
00:56:56,619 --> 00:56:58,454
get out of bed at least. They say

1617
00:56:58,454 --> 00:57:00,215
some level of I thought I was losing

1618
00:57:00,215 --> 00:57:01,815
my mind, and that's what I thought at

1619
00:57:01,815 --> 00:57:03,755
first. I thought I was losing my mind.

1620
00:57:04,454 --> 00:57:06,215
On one level, I kinda like that it's

1621
00:57:06,215 --> 00:57:08,295
a multi year thing because we've had time

1622
00:57:08,295 --> 00:57:10,135
for both of us to adjust. Mhmm. Right?

1623
00:57:10,135 --> 00:57:12,055
We adjusted our expectations. I think that's a

1624
00:57:12,055 --> 00:57:13,569
huge important thing. Correct. I've learned to communicate

1625
00:57:13,569 --> 00:57:14,069
them

1626
00:57:14,369 --> 00:57:16,549
better. Mhmm. You now have a better understanding

1627
00:57:16,690 --> 00:57:18,069
of most likely

1628
00:57:18,609 --> 00:57:20,210
if everything is different from the way it

1629
00:57:20,210 --> 00:57:22,710
used to be is probably the perimenopause. Yep.

1630
00:57:23,170 --> 00:57:23,909
And so

1631
00:57:24,530 --> 00:57:26,609
we're nav we have time to learn how

1632
00:57:26,609 --> 00:57:27,670
to navigate it.

1633
00:57:28,135 --> 00:57:30,235
But also I hate that perimenopause

1634
00:57:30,775 --> 00:57:32,614
could be up to a decade long because

1635
00:57:32,614 --> 00:57:34,695
that's a long time to be this hot

1636
00:57:34,695 --> 00:57:35,914
and sweaty. Okay?

1637
00:57:37,894 --> 00:57:40,695
I am the hot flash, night sweat girly.

1638
00:57:40,695 --> 00:57:42,135
That's that's one of the ones I got

1639
00:57:42,135 --> 00:57:42,635
too.

1640
00:57:43,335 --> 00:57:45,460
You wanna talk about fucking up your intimacy?

1641
00:57:45,599 --> 00:57:47,940
When I am so hot that I think

1642
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,920
I am part of the sun now, he

1643
00:57:49,920 --> 00:57:52,159
cannot touch me. There's no fucking. There's no

1644
00:57:52,159 --> 00:57:53,920
pulling my hair. There's no hitting my ass.

1645
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:56,319
There is I love you so much. Get

1646
00:57:56,319 --> 00:57:58,175
the fuck away from me.

1647
00:57:58,554 --> 00:57:59,775
There there there are

1648
00:58:00,315 --> 00:58:02,155
times during the night when I wake up

1649
00:58:02,155 --> 00:58:03,215
and I reach over,

1650
00:58:04,474 --> 00:58:06,815
put my hand on her, touch her. Mhmm.

1651
00:58:07,994 --> 00:58:10,735
It is like a a raging fire. Yeah.

1652
00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:13,139
And if it feels like that externally, just

1653
00:58:13,139 --> 00:58:15,619
imagine, like, we Yeah. I've joked here before.

1654
00:58:15,619 --> 00:58:18,659
My internal combustion engine runs hot. I am

1655
00:58:18,659 --> 00:58:20,440
hot and sweaty right now.

1656
00:58:22,420 --> 00:58:22,980
And that's

1657
00:58:24,934 --> 00:58:27,414
again I can't tell you what if whether

1658
00:58:27,414 --> 00:58:29,494
you are the partner of somebody with pyramid

1659
00:58:29,494 --> 00:58:31,014
pause or you are the partner with pyramid

1660
00:58:31,014 --> 00:58:32,695
pause and for those of y'all where both

1661
00:58:32,695 --> 00:58:34,235
of y'all might be going through it,

1662
00:58:35,255 --> 00:58:36,695
you are in my heart. If I was

1663
00:58:36,695 --> 00:58:38,215
a prayer, I would pray for you because

1664
00:58:38,215 --> 00:58:39,894
I cannot imagine two people going through it

1665
00:58:39,894 --> 00:58:40,170
at once

1666
00:58:41,690 --> 00:58:43,230
once together. You know, I

1667
00:58:44,250 --> 00:58:46,809
it's going to impact your power exchange. It

1668
00:58:46,809 --> 00:58:48,730
it is in some in some way. You're

1669
00:58:48,730 --> 00:58:50,329
gonna have to do something different than you

1670
00:58:50,329 --> 00:58:50,829
instead.

1671
00:58:51,530 --> 00:58:54,190
You're gonna have to maybe admit to some,

1672
00:58:55,085 --> 00:58:57,324
physical discomfort that normally you might not have

1673
00:58:57,324 --> 00:58:58,144
talked about.

1674
00:58:58,764 --> 00:58:59,744
Happy about.

1675
00:59:00,045 --> 00:59:01,804
Poor JB over the years has had to

1676
00:59:01,804 --> 00:59:02,784
hear about my

1677
00:59:03,324 --> 00:59:03,824
gastrointestinal

1678
00:59:05,885 --> 00:59:07,585
stuff. I'm just like, well,

1679
00:59:09,369 --> 00:59:11,550
well, this is well, this is what intimacy

1680
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:12,989
really is.

1681
00:59:15,610 --> 00:59:17,690
I think I don't I don't know what

1682
00:59:17,690 --> 00:59:19,710
you'll experience and what you'll feel,

1683
00:59:20,170 --> 00:59:21,929
but I do think that if you feel

1684
00:59:21,929 --> 00:59:23,904
that you've lost your mind or everything is

1685
00:59:23,904 --> 00:59:25,344
different or you don't know who you are

1686
00:59:25,344 --> 00:59:25,844
now

1687
00:59:26,385 --> 00:59:28,625
or you don't think you're being a good

1688
00:59:28,625 --> 00:59:31,025
dom, submissive partner in general, I don't think

1689
00:59:31,025 --> 00:59:32,005
those feelings

1690
00:59:32,784 --> 00:59:33,684
are uncommon.

1691
00:59:34,545 --> 00:59:36,780
I don't think they're correct. I think there's

1692
00:59:37,260 --> 00:59:39,260
there you can do things that make you

1693
00:59:39,260 --> 00:59:41,179
not an ideal partner, of course. But I

1694
00:59:41,179 --> 00:59:42,940
think there's an adjustment period and there there

1695
00:59:42,940 --> 00:59:44,460
needs to be grace given. And I think

1696
00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:47,179
for for you, for yourself, like please try

1697
00:59:47,179 --> 00:59:48,320
to be nice to yourself.

1698
00:59:49,579 --> 00:59:50,640
I think the biggest,

1699
00:59:51,264 --> 00:59:53,664
most important thing to do within the power

1700
00:59:53,664 --> 00:59:55,984
exchange is just you gotta talk about it.

1701
00:59:55,984 --> 00:59:57,125
You gotta talk about

1702
00:59:57,664 --> 00:59:59,824
I can't remember shit anymore and I I

1703
00:59:59,824 --> 01:00:02,065
work like from a dominant perspective, when I

1704
01:00:02,065 --> 01:00:04,885
think about what happens when you forget stuff,

1705
01:00:05,289 --> 01:00:07,049
it if I was not aware and this

1706
01:00:07,049 --> 01:00:09,130
is not about perimenopause. It's just like aging

1707
01:00:09,130 --> 01:00:11,210
can fuck with your memory too. Like, that's

1708
01:00:11,210 --> 01:00:13,049
just part of it. You know, if you

1709
01:00:13,049 --> 01:00:15,369
forgot to give me praise often enough, that

1710
01:00:15,369 --> 01:00:17,929
would that would be hard. If you forgot

1711
01:00:17,929 --> 01:00:19,644
to follow-up on things you'd asked asked me

1712
01:00:19,644 --> 01:00:20,385
to do, that

1713
01:00:20,765 --> 01:00:22,765
would be hard. And those are the kinds

1714
01:00:22,765 --> 01:00:24,364
of things I can see happening to a

1715
01:00:24,364 --> 01:00:26,525
dominant going through it. Like, the things that,

1716
01:00:26,525 --> 01:00:28,925
yes, you know are important and are important

1717
01:00:28,925 --> 01:00:30,465
to both of you, and

1718
01:00:30,925 --> 01:00:32,465
they just they just

1719
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,360
are gone into the ether. Like half the

1720
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,679
thoughts I have these days just gone into

1721
01:00:38,679 --> 01:00:41,000
the ether. You know, we've gone through it

1722
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,880
from your your back problems, but you know

1723
01:00:43,880 --> 01:00:45,019
I think about perimenopause,

1724
01:00:45,505 --> 01:00:47,984
folks having joint pain and body aches out

1725
01:00:47,984 --> 01:00:49,505
of nowhere. Well, you know what? That can

1726
01:00:49,505 --> 01:00:51,505
make it a little tough to get kinky.

1727
01:00:51,505 --> 01:00:53,844
Right? Like, it and I think

1728
01:00:54,545 --> 01:00:57,264
for some people, if you experience it like

1729
01:00:57,264 --> 01:00:59,949
I do, and it is a knock against

1730
01:01:00,010 --> 01:01:01,549
your sense of self

1731
01:01:02,010 --> 01:01:04,170
and it disrupts your sense of self, I

1732
01:01:04,170 --> 01:01:05,230
don't think that

1733
01:01:05,609 --> 01:01:08,250
is unreasonable. It makes sense if you can

1734
01:01:08,250 --> 01:01:10,170
no longer do things or are no longer

1735
01:01:10,170 --> 01:01:12,170
doing things you once did, that you wanted

1736
01:01:12,170 --> 01:01:13,069
to be doing.

1737
01:01:14,304 --> 01:01:15,425
You know? But it

1738
01:01:16,304 --> 01:01:18,065
not talking about it, pretending it's not a

1739
01:01:18,065 --> 01:01:18,565
problem,

1740
01:01:19,344 --> 01:01:20,005
you know,

1741
01:01:20,545 --> 01:01:22,224
pretending you can fake it and maybe they

1742
01:01:22,224 --> 01:01:23,045
won't notice.

1743
01:01:23,425 --> 01:01:24,485
I promise you.

1744
01:01:25,425 --> 01:01:27,265
If you are a part if you were

1745
01:01:27,265 --> 01:01:29,619
in a power exchange where your power exchange

1746
01:01:29,619 --> 01:01:31,139
is a top priority for both of you

1747
01:01:31,139 --> 01:01:33,139
and it is, like, especially if it's, like,

1748
01:01:33,139 --> 01:01:35,380
in the fabric of your life and it's

1749
01:01:35,380 --> 01:01:38,500
just a your partner notices, just go ahead

1750
01:01:38,500 --> 01:01:39,559
and admit it.

1751
01:01:42,275 --> 01:01:44,114
Just go ahead and tell them. Even if

1752
01:01:44,114 --> 01:01:45,394
all you can say is I think I'm

1753
01:01:45,394 --> 01:01:47,635
losing my mind. Right? Or there's something wrong

1754
01:01:47,635 --> 01:01:49,075
and I don't know what it is. Because

1755
01:01:49,075 --> 01:01:50,755
the reality is and this is I've said

1756
01:01:50,755 --> 01:01:52,515
this and I'll keep saying it because it's

1757
01:01:52,515 --> 01:01:53,015
my

1758
01:01:53,715 --> 01:01:54,215
consent.

1759
01:01:55,190 --> 01:01:57,610
I'm doing the is this thing perimenopause?

1760
01:01:58,309 --> 01:02:00,789
Is this thing something else? Like name your

1761
01:02:00,789 --> 01:02:04,150
something else, right? And you can't always know.

1762
01:02:04,150 --> 01:02:06,789
You genuinely can't always know. I think, you

1763
01:02:06,789 --> 01:02:08,809
know, talking to your doctor is very important.

1764
01:02:09,605 --> 01:02:11,605
If you need to and you can find

1765
01:02:11,605 --> 01:02:14,025
a new doctor, definitely go that route.

1766
01:02:15,284 --> 01:02:16,964
And I think it's sort of the cluster

1767
01:02:16,964 --> 01:02:19,204
of everything, right? If it was one thing,

1768
01:02:19,204 --> 01:02:20,824
I would not call it perimenopause.

1769
01:02:21,125 --> 01:02:23,529
But once you start learning about what those

1770
01:02:23,529 --> 01:02:24,809
symptoms can look like and you're like, I

1771
01:02:24,809 --> 01:02:26,730
got a cluster of them and I'm in

1772
01:02:26,730 --> 01:02:28,429
the age range and it

1773
01:02:28,969 --> 01:02:31,130
it's probably perimenopause but definitely talk to your

1774
01:02:31,130 --> 01:02:32,989
doctor but goddamn it talk to your partner.

1775
01:02:34,009 --> 01:02:35,869
Of all the things that, like,

1776
01:02:36,465 --> 01:02:38,224
are strong doms who think they're supposed to

1777
01:02:38,224 --> 01:02:39,825
be strong all the time and can't admit

1778
01:02:39,825 --> 01:02:43,345
weakness, please admit that, like, your hormones are

1779
01:02:43,345 --> 01:02:45,364
kicking your fucking ass right now, right?

1780
01:02:45,744 --> 01:02:47,105
To submissives where like, but I have to

1781
01:02:47,105 --> 01:02:48,329
be good and I have to do I

1782
01:02:48,329 --> 01:02:50,483
have to do what they want and I

1783
01:02:50,483 --> 01:02:52,905
can't disappoint and I can't let I know

1784
01:02:52,905 --> 01:02:55,057
I have that same internal monologue. I'm gonna

1785
01:02:55,057 --> 01:02:57,210
need you to suck it up and go,

1786
01:02:57,210 --> 01:02:59,363
I am your submissive. I wanna be your

1787
01:02:59,363 --> 01:03:01,516
submissive. I love being your submissive. I can't

1788
01:03:01,516 --> 01:03:02,795
remember shit. Right?

1789
01:03:04,855 --> 01:03:07,275
Or, I I want us to be connected

1790
01:03:07,414 --> 01:03:07,914
physically.

1791
01:03:08,454 --> 01:03:10,155
The idea of sex right now

1792
01:03:11,255 --> 01:03:13,175
is I just I can't. Right? Like, you

1793
01:03:13,494 --> 01:03:15,335
those conversations have to be had because that

1794
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,920
the symptoms will impact your power exchange. No

1795
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:19,300
doubt. No doubt.

1796
01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:21,619
But the lack of communication

1797
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,800
will have a bigger impact. Because you can

1798
01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:26,980
work around a lot of symptoms, you know?

1799
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:29,204
Especially if they can be managed with medication

1800
01:03:29,204 --> 01:03:31,045
or I don't know, somebody out there who's

1801
01:03:31,045 --> 01:03:32,724
gone through the perimenopause and is in the

1802
01:03:32,724 --> 01:03:34,805
menopause stage, how much of this goes away?

1803
01:03:34,805 --> 01:03:36,265
I've had some people tell me

1804
01:03:36,565 --> 01:03:37,845
it all went away and then I have

1805
01:03:37,845 --> 01:03:39,125
my mom go No, no, no, I still

1806
01:03:39,125 --> 01:03:41,445
sometimes get a hot flash. I'm on with

1807
01:03:41,445 --> 01:03:42,780
my mom, I'm like No, no, no. I

1808
01:03:42,780 --> 01:03:44,059
want you to go talk to your very

1809
01:03:44,059 --> 01:03:45,660
old fashioned doctor who tried to talk you

1810
01:03:45,660 --> 01:03:47,760
out of HRT many years ago.

1811
01:03:48,300 --> 01:03:49,660
Like, here are the links, take them the

1812
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:52,780
studies, that science about nobody you know, nobody

1813
01:03:52,780 --> 01:03:55,034
should do HRT. That's not good science anymore.

1814
01:03:55,034 --> 01:03:56,714
There's just some people who shouldn't do it

1815
01:03:56,714 --> 01:03:57,594
and I don't know who they are. I'm

1816
01:03:57,594 --> 01:03:58,574
not a medical professional.

1817
01:03:59,194 --> 01:04:01,355
Take the information to your doctor, please please

1818
01:04:01,355 --> 01:04:02,175
please. Because,

1819
01:04:03,194 --> 01:04:04,714
what the studies are showing, this is why

1820
01:04:04,714 --> 01:04:06,335
I like to follow Doctor. Haver,

1821
01:04:06,869 --> 01:04:10,809
is the importance of estrogen, progesterone estrogen especially,

1822
01:04:11,429 --> 01:04:13,049
on the body because perimenopause

1823
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:16,150
is this massive fluctuation. It's it's all over

1824
01:04:16,150 --> 01:04:18,469
the fucking place, more so than whatever your

1825
01:04:18,469 --> 01:04:21,029
previous air quote natural cycle of hormones might

1826
01:04:21,029 --> 01:04:21,494
have been.

1827
01:04:22,375 --> 01:04:24,615
And studies are showing that if you can

1828
01:04:24,615 --> 01:04:26,954
keep those estrogen levels higher,

1829
01:04:27,255 --> 01:04:29,974
then there's less chance of dementia. There's less

1830
01:04:29,974 --> 01:04:31,115
chance of cardiovascular

1831
01:04:31,974 --> 01:04:34,055
health problems later in life. There's all these

1832
01:04:34,055 --> 01:04:35,355
things that can be

1833
01:04:35,989 --> 01:04:39,269
killers of women and other people assigned female

1834
01:04:39,269 --> 01:04:39,849
at birth

1835
01:04:40,230 --> 01:04:40,969
can be

1836
01:04:41,670 --> 01:04:43,190
can't make them go away completely, but you

1837
01:04:43,190 --> 01:04:44,489
can reduce those chances

1838
01:04:45,349 --> 01:04:47,109
if medication is an option for you. It

1839
01:04:47,109 --> 01:04:48,569
is not an option for everybody?

1840
01:04:49,030 --> 01:04:50,635
I know that. But if it is so

1841
01:04:50,635 --> 01:04:52,154
I'm like, mom, you need to go find

1842
01:04:52,154 --> 01:04:53,835
out if it is an option for you,

1843
01:04:53,835 --> 01:04:55,674
and you need to tell that old man

1844
01:04:55,674 --> 01:04:56,574
doctor that

1845
01:04:56,954 --> 01:04:58,795
put me on it. Because she's of the

1846
01:04:58,795 --> 01:05:01,594
right age, she's gone through menopause, she certainly

1847
01:05:01,594 --> 01:05:03,949
still has some symptoms. Not all of

1848
01:05:04,809 --> 01:05:05,309
them,

1849
01:05:06,170 --> 01:05:06,670
but

1850
01:05:08,889 --> 01:05:11,609
so yeah. Mhmm. This is, I I I

1851
01:05:11,609 --> 01:05:13,369
hesitate to use words that are maybe not

1852
01:05:13,369 --> 01:05:14,650
mine to use because I don't have any

1853
01:05:14,650 --> 01:05:16,109
official diagnosis, but

1854
01:05:17,094 --> 01:05:19,914
just like kink was my very much my,

1855
01:05:21,015 --> 01:05:23,114
special interest or whatever that is,

1856
01:05:23,655 --> 01:05:25,574
clearly, I made a fucking career out of

1857
01:05:25,574 --> 01:05:27,974
it. Perimenopause is on that list partly because

1858
01:05:27,974 --> 01:05:30,210
I I have this innate need to understand

1859
01:05:30,210 --> 01:05:31,809
myself and where I fit going on with

1860
01:05:31,809 --> 01:05:33,409
you. Right. And then where I fit within

1861
01:05:33,409 --> 01:05:35,170
the world and how I relate to the

1862
01:05:35,170 --> 01:05:36,690
world around me. And the world around me

1863
01:05:36,690 --> 01:05:38,289
is not every fucking body. I don't like

1864
01:05:38,289 --> 01:05:40,769
every fucking body. But, like, my world. Right?

1865
01:05:40,769 --> 01:05:41,269
Perimenopause

1866
01:05:41,570 --> 01:05:43,525
is just another part of that that journey.

1867
01:05:43,525 --> 01:05:45,445
So like I get I get really geeked

1868
01:05:45,445 --> 01:05:46,744
out on some of the information

1869
01:05:47,445 --> 01:05:48,965
but then I find it hard to talk

1870
01:05:48,965 --> 01:05:51,204
about because my experience with it will not

1871
01:05:51,204 --> 01:05:53,065
be your experience with it, right?

1872
01:05:53,925 --> 01:05:54,425
Because

1873
01:05:54,869 --> 01:05:57,990
we'll have different chronic conditions before perimenopause. We'll

1874
01:05:57,990 --> 01:05:59,530
get different symptoms of it.

1875
01:06:00,150 --> 01:06:02,170
The role you play in your power exchange

1876
01:06:02,470 --> 01:06:04,150
is probably a little different from mine even

1877
01:06:04,150 --> 01:06:05,130
if we're both submissives.

1878
01:06:05,750 --> 01:06:07,764
And so that impact on your power exchange

1879
01:06:07,764 --> 01:06:10,264
is gonna be different. Like it's like every

1880
01:06:10,324 --> 01:06:12,565
interesting thing to me in, kink. I can't

1881
01:06:12,565 --> 01:06:14,565
give you a five point checklist of just

1882
01:06:14,565 --> 01:06:16,485
do this or these are the things that'll

1883
01:06:16,485 --> 01:06:18,644
tell you, you know, here you've got all

1884
01:06:18,644 --> 01:06:20,025
the secrets of the universe.

1885
01:06:20,485 --> 01:06:20,969
No.

1886
01:06:21,530 --> 01:06:23,690
And the big boring answer is how peri

1887
01:06:24,010 --> 01:06:26,489
what you do when perimenopause affects your power

1888
01:06:26,489 --> 01:06:28,889
changes. You gotta talk about it. If medication

1889
01:06:28,889 --> 01:06:31,150
is an option, if there are, like

1890
01:06:31,929 --> 01:06:32,429
ideally,

1891
01:06:33,210 --> 01:06:35,210
if I was weight training, if I could

1892
01:06:35,210 --> 01:06:37,215
get enough fiber and protein, if I could

1893
01:06:37,215 --> 01:06:39,135
get enough sleep, if I could reduce my

1894
01:06:39,135 --> 01:06:39,635
stress,

1895
01:06:40,414 --> 01:06:42,095
a lot of not all but some of

1896
01:06:42,095 --> 01:06:43,695
the symptoms might not go away but they'd

1897
01:06:43,695 --> 01:06:45,775
be reduced. It would be more manageable, right?

1898
01:06:45,775 --> 01:06:47,954
Plus I'd just have better overall health.

1899
01:06:48,860 --> 01:06:50,539
I would love to do that, but I

1900
01:06:50,539 --> 01:06:52,460
can't hire a personal trainer to teach me

1901
01:06:52,460 --> 01:06:54,380
how to to strength train because I will

1902
01:06:54,380 --> 01:06:55,519
hurt myself. Right?

1903
01:06:56,460 --> 01:06:57,440
I will hurt myself.

1904
01:06:58,619 --> 01:07:00,300
I can't figure out how to get more

1905
01:07:00,300 --> 01:07:02,264
fiber and more protein at the same time

1906
01:07:02,505 --> 01:07:04,505
and afford our grocery bill. Like, that's where

1907
01:07:04,505 --> 01:07:05,464
we're at right now. It doesn't mean I'm

1908
01:07:05,464 --> 01:07:06,744
not working towards it. It doesn't mean I've

1909
01:07:06,744 --> 01:07:08,664
gone, oh, that's not important. It's just another

1910
01:07:08,664 --> 01:07:10,424
part of the puzzle. I went for the

1911
01:07:10,424 --> 01:07:12,344
thing I could do that was, for me,

1912
01:07:12,344 --> 01:07:14,364
the most easily accessible and that was medication.

1913
01:07:14,639 --> 01:07:16,239
That is just a part of the puzzle,

1914
01:07:16,239 --> 01:07:18,420
and I'm working through everything else.

1915
01:07:18,719 --> 01:07:20,819
Because I want to be happy and healthy

1916
01:07:21,119 --> 01:07:22,339
as just a human,

1917
01:07:22,799 --> 01:07:24,960
but also as a submissive in our power

1918
01:07:24,960 --> 01:07:27,920
exchange. I wanna, like, keep myself going long

1919
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:29,025
term. I can actually

1920
01:07:30,304 --> 01:07:31,824
if you happen to go down the rabbit

1921
01:07:31,824 --> 01:07:33,444
hole of perimenopausal information,

1922
01:07:35,585 --> 01:07:37,764
you will get to hear about the terrifying

1923
01:07:38,144 --> 01:07:40,545
loss of muscle mass and now more brittle

1924
01:07:40,545 --> 01:07:42,769
bones that I am living in, and I

1925
01:07:42,769 --> 01:07:44,530
can see some of the muscle mass. I

1926
01:07:44,530 --> 01:07:45,590
I look at my body.

1927
01:07:46,130 --> 01:07:48,610
You know, I'm I've lost muscle mass already,

1928
01:07:48,610 --> 01:07:50,849
and it's like, I I don't I don't

1929
01:07:50,849 --> 01:07:52,949
wanna look like my great grandmother, Dan,

1930
01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,244
at 81. I don't. I don't know who

1931
01:07:55,244 --> 01:07:56,605
I want to look like, but I want

1932
01:07:56,605 --> 01:07:58,065
to be strong. Like, I

1933
01:07:58,444 --> 01:08:00,065
that's one thing I like about doctor,

1934
01:08:00,684 --> 01:08:03,244
Haver because she does talk about diet and

1935
01:08:03,244 --> 01:08:05,085
exercise, and so if that's a thing you

1936
01:08:05,085 --> 01:08:07,005
can't be around just be mindful of that,

1937
01:08:07,005 --> 01:08:09,400
right, if you go look for content. But

1938
01:08:09,400 --> 01:08:11,320
she has the best thing of she's like,

1939
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:12,219
if I could tell

1940
01:08:13,079 --> 01:08:15,000
any woman in their 20s stop trying to

1941
01:08:15,000 --> 01:08:17,560
be skinny, just be strong. Right? And what

1942
01:08:17,560 --> 01:08:18,539
she says to perimenopausal

1943
01:08:19,000 --> 01:08:21,560
folks is it's not about it's not about

1944
01:08:21,560 --> 01:08:23,375
calories in calories out

1945
01:08:23,835 --> 01:08:26,234
for this point in life. It's about nutrition.

1946
01:08:26,234 --> 01:08:27,514
And I'm like, okay. Well, that takes some

1947
01:08:27,514 --> 01:08:28,335
pressure off.

1948
01:08:28,954 --> 01:08:31,514
I appreciate that. And I want those things

1949
01:08:31,514 --> 01:08:33,854
too because I know that they could

1950
01:08:34,810 --> 01:08:37,289
make things better in other ways so then

1951
01:08:37,289 --> 01:08:39,369
I can be the submissive I want to

1952
01:08:39,369 --> 01:08:40,189
be. Right?

1953
01:08:41,210 --> 01:08:43,289
But it's all a process, which I go

1954
01:08:43,289 --> 01:08:44,969
back to. That's the double edged sword of

1955
01:08:44,969 --> 01:08:47,024
this being a seven to ten year slog.

1956
01:08:47,425 --> 01:08:49,984
Right? I get enough time to start figuring

1957
01:08:49,984 --> 01:08:52,145
some shit out, but also we have to

1958
01:08:52,145 --> 01:08:53,685
survive it for a decade.

1959
01:08:54,145 --> 01:08:54,645
Mhmm.

1960
01:08:55,344 --> 01:08:56,164
So yeah.

1961
01:08:59,199 --> 01:09:00,960
Yeah. If if it's your partner going through

1962
01:09:00,960 --> 01:09:02,159
it, try to be as supportive as you

1963
01:09:02,159 --> 01:09:03,840
can be. Somebody said in the live chat,

1964
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:05,039
my partner is younger than me and is

1965
01:09:05,039 --> 01:09:05,539
perimenopausal.

1966
01:09:06,159 --> 01:09:07,680
She had a lot of guilt when saying

1967
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:08,180
no,

1968
01:09:09,439 --> 01:09:11,039
and it helped her to know that I

1969
01:09:11,039 --> 01:09:12,720
was not going to pressure her as I

1970
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:13,635
had been there myself.

1971
01:09:14,274 --> 01:09:16,354
Yeah. If I have to tell JB that

1972
01:09:16,354 --> 01:09:18,274
I can't do something right now or at

1973
01:09:18,274 --> 01:09:19,094
all, right,

1974
01:09:19,554 --> 01:09:21,074
the best thing I can get from him

1975
01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:22,835
is just total acceptance. He's allowed to be

1976
01:09:22,835 --> 01:09:24,594
a little disappointed we couldn't do a thing.

1977
01:09:24,594 --> 01:09:25,574
I mean, that's human.

1978
01:09:26,034 --> 01:09:26,534
But

1979
01:09:27,260 --> 01:09:29,579
he's just, you know, he goes, okay. It

1980
01:09:29,579 --> 01:09:31,260
does help, I think, in our situation. You're

1981
01:09:31,260 --> 01:09:32,619
going through a period of life where you're

1982
01:09:32,619 --> 01:09:34,380
going, oh, I can't do things right now

1983
01:09:34,380 --> 01:09:35,579
that I used to be able to do

1984
01:09:35,579 --> 01:09:36,880
either. And so you

1985
01:09:37,579 --> 01:09:39,739
we understand it differently, but in in our

1986
01:09:39,739 --> 01:09:41,739
similar I'm I'm reaching that stage of life

1987
01:09:41,739 --> 01:09:42,239
where,

1988
01:09:44,204 --> 01:09:46,525
the mind is still willing, but the body

1989
01:09:46,525 --> 01:09:48,525
is not always I would like the mind

1990
01:09:48,525 --> 01:09:50,525
to be willing on my end, but my

1991
01:09:50,525 --> 01:09:53,405
mind is a bunch of hamsters on broken

1992
01:09:53,405 --> 01:09:54,685
hamster wheels. I mean

1993
01:09:55,645 --> 01:09:56,704
and they're all going

1994
01:09:57,409 --> 01:09:58,710
different fucking directions.

1995
01:09:59,810 --> 01:10:02,530
So yeah. Wow. That that that's been a

1996
01:10:02,530 --> 01:10:03,030
lot.

1997
01:10:03,409 --> 01:10:03,909
Mhmm.

1998
01:10:04,289 --> 01:10:05,810
It takes up a massive chunk of your

1999
01:10:05,810 --> 01:10:06,310
life.

2000
01:10:09,025 --> 01:10:10,385
Somebody said it this way and then had

2001
01:10:10,385 --> 01:10:13,025
to, like, make a video, like, explaining themselves

2002
01:10:13,025 --> 01:10:14,625
because the Internet hated it. They said it's

2003
01:10:14,625 --> 01:10:17,445
a little bit like puberty in reverse. Not

2004
01:10:17,505 --> 01:10:18,005
that

2005
01:10:18,545 --> 01:10:21,265
it's a literal puberty in reverse, but it's

2006
01:10:21,265 --> 01:10:23,750
like the other end of puberty where your

2007
01:10:23,750 --> 01:10:26,649
hormones are going wild, your body is changing,

2008
01:10:26,869 --> 01:10:28,409
your brain is changing,

2009
01:10:29,350 --> 01:10:29,850
but

2010
01:10:30,229 --> 01:10:32,649
on the opposite end of the age spectrum.

2011
01:10:32,710 --> 01:10:34,310
And I was like, yeah. I get that.

2012
01:10:34,310 --> 01:10:36,069
No. No. I I I definitely get that.

2013
01:10:36,069 --> 01:10:37,395
I I vibe with that.

2014
01:10:39,635 --> 01:10:42,435
So yeah if you are experiencing it and

2015
01:10:42,435 --> 01:10:44,114
it's fucking up your power exchange, you're not

2016
01:10:44,114 --> 01:10:44,614
alone.

2017
01:10:45,154 --> 01:10:46,534
If you're the partner of

2018
01:10:47,555 --> 01:10:48,055
somebody,

2019
01:10:48,515 --> 01:10:49,895
you are also not alone.

2020
01:10:51,475 --> 01:10:53,430
And if you are young enough that this

2021
01:10:53,430 --> 01:10:54,869
is like a thing you don't probably won't

2022
01:10:54,869 --> 01:10:56,550
have to think about for ten, fifteen, twenty

2023
01:10:56,550 --> 01:10:57,050
years,

2024
01:10:57,430 --> 01:10:59,590
let me be a person who at least

2025
01:10:59,590 --> 01:11:01,909
explained what the fuck perimenopause was to you.

2026
01:11:01,909 --> 01:11:03,350
Because I promise you in my twenties I'd

2027
01:11:03,350 --> 01:11:04,409
never heard that word.

2028
01:11:05,189 --> 01:11:07,189
Maybe once. And I I didn't even clock

2029
01:11:07,189 --> 01:11:07,930
it as anything.

2030
01:11:12,954 --> 01:11:13,935
So so yeah.

2031
01:11:14,875 --> 01:11:16,314
That was a lot. I just kinda knew

2032
01:11:16,314 --> 01:11:17,135
this one would,

2033
01:11:22,890 --> 01:11:24,810
This one will probably run long. We will

2034
01:11:24,810 --> 01:11:25,710
do a

2035
01:11:26,810 --> 01:11:27,710
bonus section.

2036
01:11:30,649 --> 01:11:31,789
And so yeah.

2037
01:11:32,250 --> 01:11:34,250
My throat hurts. Not bad. I don't know

2038
01:11:34,250 --> 01:11:35,609
who this helped other than those of us

2039
01:11:35,609 --> 01:11:37,034
who are hot and sweaty right now and

2040
01:11:37,034 --> 01:11:39,034
just needed a place to, like, share our,

2041
01:11:39,835 --> 01:11:40,234
our,

2042
01:11:41,114 --> 01:11:42,175
community rage.

2043
01:11:45,515 --> 01:11:47,755
At the minimum, if I can help people

2044
01:11:47,755 --> 01:11:49,755
realize they are not alone in something, I

2045
01:11:49,835 --> 01:11:50,789
then my job here is

2046
01:11:51,989 --> 01:11:54,229
done. Yeah. So to all those who are

2047
01:11:54,229 --> 01:11:57,609
the the sweaty, cranky, forgettable masses out there,

2048
01:11:58,149 --> 01:12:00,010
I'm with you. I am you.

2049
01:12:00,869 --> 01:12:01,770
So anyway,

2050
01:12:02,470 --> 01:12:04,364
we can do a bonus section. So, are

2051
01:12:04,364 --> 01:12:05,831
we good? I don't know. I don't know.

2052
01:12:05,831 --> 01:12:07,484
I don't know. That's not for me to

2053
01:12:07,484 --> 01:12:07,984
say.

2054
01:12:08,925 --> 01:12:10,684
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

2055
01:12:10,684 --> 01:12:11,505
next week.

2056
01:12:20,409 --> 01:12:20,909
Daddy.

2057
01:12:22,250 --> 01:12:23,130
One moment, girl.

2058
01:12:23,850 --> 01:12:25,150
Audacity is being

2059
01:12:25,530 --> 01:12:27,449
Audacity is giving me fits right now. Has

2060
01:12:27,449 --> 01:12:28,890
been all the whole time. I know I've

2061
01:12:28,890 --> 01:12:30,510
watched you. I've watched you.

2062
01:12:31,704 --> 01:12:33,164
If anybody's, like,

2063
01:12:33,545 --> 01:12:35,704
watching the video part and you've watched JB

2064
01:12:35,704 --> 01:12:36,985
go in and out and click and that

2065
01:12:36,985 --> 01:12:38,765
is Right. Audacity. Yeah.

2066
01:12:39,385 --> 01:12:42,585
Okay. Bonus section. Talk to crickets. Yeah. And

2067
01:12:42,585 --> 01:12:44,425
I just realized we gotta work on your

2068
01:12:44,425 --> 01:12:46,404
handwriting. I just realized what you were asking

2069
01:12:46,404 --> 01:12:49,859
me. But, I know if I ask silent

2070
01:12:49,859 --> 01:12:52,930
very nicely, she will help us out with

2071
01:12:52,930 --> 01:12:56,385
audio. Yeah. I I can been having problem.

2072
01:12:56,769 --> 01:12:59,765
Audacity has been self adjusting the audio.

2073
01:13:00,225 --> 01:13:02,625
Mhmm. Okay. A few times it almost dropped

2074
01:13:02,625 --> 01:13:04,945
to nothing. Oh, God. And I keep having

2075
01:13:04,945 --> 01:13:07,125
to bring it up and eventually it,

2076
01:13:08,704 --> 01:13:10,704
bounces down. So I've been I've been fighting

2077
01:13:10,704 --> 01:13:12,145
with that. It will not let me adjust

2078
01:13:12,145 --> 01:13:13,284
it because it's recording.

2079
01:13:14,000 --> 01:13:16,640
Right. No. Yeah. K. So that'll be interesting

2080
01:13:16,640 --> 01:13:19,439
to listen to the original audio playback of

2081
01:13:19,439 --> 01:13:21,219
the console. I should be able to,

2082
01:13:22,399 --> 01:13:25,279
normalize the audio. Okay. It's just gonna be

2083
01:13:25,279 --> 01:13:26,420
a few extra steps.

2084
01:13:26,885 --> 01:13:28,564
Yeah. And, you know, as long as it

2085
01:13:28,564 --> 01:13:30,324
is, it's gonna take a while. Good. On

2086
01:13:30,324 --> 01:13:32,005
one of the most important topics I've ever

2087
01:13:32,005 --> 01:13:34,564
wanted to discuss in 400 plus episodes. Of

2088
01:13:34,564 --> 01:13:35,064
course.

2089
01:13:36,005 --> 01:13:37,925
What else? It's like this topic is fucking

2090
01:13:37,925 --> 01:13:40,485
haunted Yeah. Somewhere. We got an older guy

2091
01:13:40,485 --> 01:13:41,385
sitting here somewhere.

2092
01:13:42,409 --> 01:13:45,369
So, yeah. They're asking about the Discord channel.

2093
01:13:45,369 --> 01:13:46,569
Oh, I have several things I wanna do

2094
01:13:46,569 --> 01:13:48,329
in Discord. Okay. Let me That's the Bing

2095
01:13:48,329 --> 01:13:49,770
one I'm Let me know what you wanna

2096
01:13:49,770 --> 01:13:51,050
name them, and I'll get them set up.

2097
01:13:51,050 --> 01:13:52,569
No. I gotta tell you my whole plan.

2098
01:13:52,569 --> 01:13:53,689
I meant to talk to you a few

2099
01:13:53,689 --> 01:13:54,350
weeks ago,

2100
01:13:55,085 --> 01:13:57,244
and I can't remember what stopped me. It

2101
01:13:57,244 --> 01:13:59,324
was my own emotional whatever whatever because there's

2102
01:13:59,324 --> 01:14:01,005
a few things I want. So our Discord

2103
01:14:01,005 --> 01:14:02,305
is available through our Patreon.

2104
01:14:03,645 --> 01:14:05,405
That way it feels more manageable to me,

2105
01:14:05,405 --> 01:14:07,185
and I am I personally am less overwhelmed.

2106
01:14:08,125 --> 01:14:09,405
So I prefer it to be through our

2107
01:14:09,405 --> 01:14:09,905
Patreon.

2108
01:14:10,369 --> 01:14:12,210
You can join Patreon for as little as

2109
01:14:12,210 --> 01:14:14,130
$2 a month if that's something you're interested

2110
01:14:14,130 --> 01:14:14,630
in.

2111
01:14:16,289 --> 01:14:16,789
But,

2112
01:14:17,329 --> 01:14:18,849
we have all kinds of channels because it's

2113
01:14:18,849 --> 01:14:20,529
not just about kink in there for us.

2114
01:14:20,529 --> 01:14:21,969
We talk about other parts of life, and

2115
01:14:21,969 --> 01:14:23,649
I got a couple of things on my

2116
01:14:23,649 --> 01:14:23,864
mind

2117
01:14:24,744 --> 01:14:26,105
currently that I'd like to do that are

2118
01:14:26,105 --> 01:14:26,605
more

2119
01:14:27,065 --> 01:14:28,985
life focused. Well, maybe this evening we can

2120
01:14:28,985 --> 01:14:30,985
sit and talk. Maybe we can. Yep. Oh,

2121
01:14:30,985 --> 01:14:32,824
I had an idea for a not a

2122
01:14:32,824 --> 01:14:34,425
lunch date, not a coffee date, not a

2123
01:14:34,425 --> 01:14:35,244
dinner date,

2124
01:14:36,105 --> 01:14:36,845
a Culver's

2125
01:14:37,305 --> 01:14:40,320
custard date. Oh. Right. I know. Because I

2126
01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:42,479
I can eat one custard, like, every couple

2127
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:44,079
of weeks and my stomach can handle it,

2128
01:14:44,079 --> 01:14:45,439
and I haven't had one in a few

2129
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:45,939
months.

2130
01:14:46,560 --> 01:14:47,920
So maybe we could do that at some

2131
01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:48,420
point.

2132
01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:53,735
Yeah. The, having the the some of

2133
01:14:54,195 --> 01:14:54,854
the brainpower,

2134
01:14:55,314 --> 01:14:57,155
opened up because stress has,

2135
01:14:57,715 --> 01:15:00,114
been alleviated a little bit means that the

2136
01:15:00,114 --> 01:15:03,395
ideas are starting to flood back. I'm so

2137
01:15:03,395 --> 01:15:05,155
sorry. And I know. I I get it

2138
01:15:05,155 --> 01:15:06,675
because I've I've been the same way, you

2139
01:15:06,675 --> 01:15:09,039
know. Now that my that I've been, you

2140
01:15:09,039 --> 01:15:09,860
know, slowly,

2141
01:15:10,800 --> 01:15:13,280
lifting away from my depression, things are, you

2142
01:15:13,280 --> 01:15:13,780
know

2143
01:15:14,400 --> 01:15:16,500
Yeah. The creativity can come back. Yeah.

2144
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:18,340
Let's see.

2145
01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:19,460
Jesus.

2146
01:15:19,920 --> 01:15:21,864
I would just stop if you can. I

2147
01:15:21,864 --> 01:15:22,364
can't.

2148
01:15:22,905 --> 01:15:24,744
No. I mean, I would stop playing with

2149
01:15:24,744 --> 01:15:25,725
it if you can.

2150
01:15:26,664 --> 01:15:29,064
I think you're gonna I can't. Okay. If

2151
01:15:29,064 --> 01:15:30,125
you can't, you can't.

2152
01:15:31,145 --> 01:15:33,064
Lola who's snoring in the background. Lola is

2153
01:15:33,064 --> 01:15:34,125
snoring in the background.

2154
01:15:34,905 --> 01:15:37,189
We we had been on a a,

2155
01:15:37,810 --> 01:15:39,329
a little bit of a journey with her,

2156
01:15:39,329 --> 01:15:41,170
some of you know. We were back at

2157
01:15:41,170 --> 01:15:43,409
the vet yesterday. That was follow-up, not because

2158
01:15:43,409 --> 01:15:45,430
something was wrong. Yeah. That was a follow-up.

2159
01:15:47,569 --> 01:15:49,829
We had taken her in again because

2160
01:15:50,369 --> 01:15:51,029
we thought

2161
01:15:52,234 --> 01:15:53,135
her allergies

2162
01:15:53,835 --> 01:15:55,215
were flaring up. Right.

2163
01:15:55,675 --> 01:15:56,175
And

2164
01:16:00,954 --> 01:16:02,234
And come to find out it was probably

2165
01:16:02,234 --> 01:16:04,920
pain. It was probably pain. Yeah. So This

2166
01:16:04,920 --> 01:16:06,920
new I really like our new vet. Yeah.

2167
01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:08,939
Same office, new vet. He's also

2168
01:16:10,199 --> 01:16:12,359
gorgeous. Look what he's so beautiful. God, he

2169
01:16:12,359 --> 01:16:12,859
is.

2170
01:16:13,319 --> 01:16:15,319
Oh my god. A good looking man. Yes.

2171
01:16:15,319 --> 01:16:16,920
Yes. And he has an accent. So I'm

2172
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:18,445
like, you could can I stare at you?

2173
01:16:18,445 --> 01:16:20,445
And you just you could just read notes,

2174
01:16:20,445 --> 01:16:22,685
like vet notes to me. And I'm good.

2175
01:16:22,685 --> 01:16:24,925
I'm good. I I had to go to

2176
01:16:24,925 --> 01:16:27,664
their website. Mhmm. And and, you know,

2177
01:16:28,364 --> 01:16:30,640
I I believe he's from South America. Oh,

2178
01:16:30,640 --> 01:16:31,380
okay. Okay.

2179
01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:33,520
I believe he's from South America. Okay. He's

2180
01:16:33,520 --> 01:16:35,940
got he's got great hair. Yeah. He has,

2181
01:16:36,880 --> 01:16:38,239
I guess he'd be called no. He's would

2182
01:16:38,239 --> 01:16:39,520
not be called a silver fox because he

2183
01:16:39,520 --> 01:16:41,680
has just one splash of silver at the

2184
01:16:41,680 --> 01:16:43,280
front of his hairline, and then the rest

2185
01:16:43,280 --> 01:16:44,625
is, like, really dark and it's curly and

2186
01:16:44,625 --> 01:16:48,153
I'm like but it's, like, like, wavy curly.

2187
01:16:48,153 --> 01:16:50,704
I have spent way too much time looking

2188
01:16:50,704 --> 01:16:52,545
at this man and thinking about this man.

2189
01:16:52,545 --> 01:16:53,204
I'm aware.

2190
01:16:53,585 --> 01:16:55,345
I do feel like maybe there's a little

2191
01:16:55,345 --> 01:16:56,689
there's a little in

2192
01:16:57,149 --> 01:16:58,189
there even though my meds are a little

2193
01:16:58,189 --> 01:16:59,329
off right now.

2194
01:17:00,189 --> 01:17:02,270
It's kinda nice. And I love having a

2195
01:17:02,270 --> 01:17:04,689
partner where we can elbow each other and

2196
01:17:04,909 --> 01:17:06,909
privately, we will not make another human being

2197
01:17:06,909 --> 01:17:08,750
uncomfortable and be like, oh my god. Did

2198
01:17:08,750 --> 01:17:10,565
you see that person? They're so sexy.

2199
01:17:11,664 --> 01:17:12,164
Yeah.

2200
01:17:12,545 --> 01:17:15,585
So yes. But he's also very perceptive about

2201
01:17:15,585 --> 01:17:17,824
things. Yes. Things that we had been told,

2202
01:17:17,824 --> 01:17:19,585
and they probably were for for part of

2203
01:17:19,585 --> 01:17:21,765
it, that were definitely allergies, definitely allergies.

2204
01:17:22,649 --> 01:17:24,090
There's a good chance that some of what

2205
01:17:24,090 --> 01:17:25,529
she's been dealing with has been pain in

2206
01:17:25,609 --> 01:17:26,109
from

2207
01:17:26,569 --> 01:17:27,149
her her

2208
01:17:27,689 --> 01:17:29,609
back. From her injury in her leg where

2209
01:17:29,609 --> 01:17:31,529
she was had been shot. They, you know,

2210
01:17:31,529 --> 01:17:33,529
had to basically rebuild the leg. We told

2211
01:17:33,529 --> 01:17:35,604
them about that. And it's Before we adopted

2212
01:17:35,604 --> 01:17:37,604
her. Before we adopted her. And and that

2213
01:17:37,604 --> 01:17:38,585
leg is shorter.

2214
01:17:40,404 --> 01:17:40,904
So

2215
01:17:41,364 --> 01:17:42,824
the last the time before,

2216
01:17:43,604 --> 01:17:44,104
he

2217
01:17:44,804 --> 01:17:46,645
had asked why are there no pictures of

2218
01:17:46,645 --> 01:17:49,360
her legs? Like her leg. Right. And they're

2219
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:50,100
like, well,

2220
01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:53,119
nobody has to ever do them. Right. Because

2221
01:17:53,119 --> 01:17:54,500
we were we were not

2222
01:17:55,280 --> 01:17:58,000
dealing with anything related to her leg. So

2223
01:17:58,000 --> 01:18:00,560
he he went ahead and and did a

2224
01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:02,579
an x-ray of of her leg.

2225
01:18:03,395 --> 01:18:03,895
And,

2226
01:18:06,354 --> 01:18:07,895
what come to find out

2227
01:18:08,354 --> 01:18:09,335
where they

2228
01:18:10,515 --> 01:18:12,435
did did the work on the bone in

2229
01:18:12,435 --> 01:18:14,774
her leg and whatever they used

2230
01:18:15,090 --> 01:18:16,850
to put in there To stabilize it. To

2231
01:18:16,850 --> 01:18:17,909
stabilize it,

2232
01:18:19,890 --> 01:18:22,369
bone has completely grown bone. And whatever they

2233
01:18:22,369 --> 01:18:24,530
used to stabilize it has shattered in her

2234
01:18:24,770 --> 01:18:25,750
Yeah. Leg.

2235
01:18:27,489 --> 01:18:29,095
Basically, what he was saying is if she

2236
01:18:29,095 --> 01:18:31,015
was in more severe pain, if it was,

2237
01:18:31,494 --> 01:18:33,335
preventing her from being able to function, he

2238
01:18:33,335 --> 01:18:36,454
would probably recommend surgery. Yeah. But she can

2239
01:18:36,454 --> 01:18:39,095
get up and down from the couch. She

2240
01:18:39,095 --> 01:18:41,175
walks. She does this. She does that. But

2241
01:18:41,175 --> 01:18:42,454
he said I there's a because we were

2242
01:18:42,454 --> 01:18:44,079
talking about, you know, she licks her paws.

2243
01:18:44,079 --> 01:18:46,319
You know, that if you have a a

2244
01:18:46,319 --> 01:18:49,439
dog, that grotesque sound of them licking their

2245
01:18:49,439 --> 01:18:50,819
paws. Oh my god.

2246
01:18:51,199 --> 01:18:51,699
Anyway,

2247
01:18:53,039 --> 01:18:55,119
we were like oh, and we've always equated

2248
01:18:55,119 --> 01:18:56,960
that to her allergies of licking in between

2249
01:18:56,960 --> 01:18:58,800
her toes. And and the fact that I

2250
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,704
have seen so many people

2251
01:19:01,645 --> 01:19:03,024
on on social media

2252
01:19:03,404 --> 01:19:04,545
with with Staffies,

2253
01:19:05,645 --> 01:19:08,465
complain about how their dogs just lick randomly

2254
01:19:08,524 --> 01:19:10,844
lick their paws and Right. You know, seems

2255
01:19:10,844 --> 01:19:12,604
to be a Staffy thing too. And when

2256
01:19:12,604 --> 01:19:14,739
we got her, her allergies were just she

2257
01:19:14,739 --> 01:19:16,500
was just inflamed. It was so bad for

2258
01:19:16,500 --> 01:19:19,060
her. So that's what made us think, okay.

2259
01:19:19,060 --> 01:19:20,659
And he was like, well, he says it

2260
01:19:20,659 --> 01:19:22,340
could be. And we did give her an

2261
01:19:22,340 --> 01:19:23,980
allergy shot that she's had in the past

2262
01:19:23,980 --> 01:19:26,175
that Yeah. Calms us up down. He's like,

2263
01:19:26,554 --> 01:19:27,835
but that can also be a way that

2264
01:19:27,835 --> 01:19:28,654
they soothe

2265
01:19:28,954 --> 01:19:31,194
when they're when they hurt. It can be

2266
01:19:31,194 --> 01:19:33,194
a soothing thing. And we're like and he

2267
01:19:33,194 --> 01:19:34,795
was saying a couple other things to kinda

2268
01:19:34,795 --> 01:19:36,635
describe, like, signs that that she might be

2269
01:19:36,635 --> 01:19:38,427
in pain, and that was like a light

2270
01:19:38,427 --> 01:19:40,980
bulb went off over our heads. Yep. And

2271
01:19:40,980 --> 01:19:43,533
so he's like, let's try some pain management.

2272
01:19:43,533 --> 01:19:46,086
And the first medication he recommended, which we

2273
01:19:46,086 --> 01:19:48,639
did end up going with, is a very

2274
01:19:48,639 --> 01:19:50,875
expensive monthly medication. And he was like, well,

2275
01:19:50,875 --> 01:19:52,875
before I prescribe this, let's do this test

2276
01:19:52,875 --> 01:19:53,375
that's

2277
01:19:53,835 --> 01:19:56,234
of medication. Like, let's see if she gets

2278
01:19:56,234 --> 01:19:56,975
pain relief

2279
01:19:57,354 --> 01:19:59,514
from this less expensive thing. And if that

2280
01:19:59,514 --> 01:20:01,755
works, then you know you need pain management.

2281
01:20:01,755 --> 01:20:02,814
And it did. She

2282
01:20:03,150 --> 01:20:05,170
this for seven days on

2283
01:20:05,470 --> 01:20:06,610
two pain medicines.

2284
01:20:07,550 --> 01:20:08,689
She has been

2285
01:20:09,869 --> 01:20:12,989
spry. She's been running. She's gotten zoomy. She

2286
01:20:12,989 --> 01:20:15,409
gets excited about shit. She

2287
01:20:15,845 --> 01:20:18,005
still struggles to get in my little Corolla,

2288
01:20:18,005 --> 01:20:20,164
which I find fucking hilarious. It's like a

2289
01:20:20,164 --> 01:20:22,085
small car and she's like, whoo. Yeah.

2290
01:20:22,805 --> 01:20:25,125
But she's just she's acting younger. And we

2291
01:20:25,125 --> 01:20:26,985
were like, oh my god. I think

2292
01:20:27,364 --> 01:20:28,965
part of this has been pain, but she's

2293
01:20:28,965 --> 01:20:30,425
such a sweet, gentle girl.

2294
01:20:31,159 --> 01:20:33,320
She just looked like she was becoming like,

2295
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:35,159
you know, a baked potato. You know, it's

2296
01:20:35,159 --> 01:20:37,100
just napping all the time. Right.

2297
01:20:38,039 --> 01:20:38,539
So

2298
01:20:39,159 --> 01:20:40,039
so yeah. We're,

2299
01:20:41,479 --> 01:20:43,960
we're, on a different different track with her

2300
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:45,320
now a little bit, and it seems to

2301
01:20:45,320 --> 01:20:46,795
be to be working.

2302
01:20:47,975 --> 01:20:49,574
Yep. We got to see the oldest in

2303
01:20:49,574 --> 01:20:51,815
concert last night. Yeah. We will that's Tuesday,

2304
01:20:51,815 --> 01:20:53,814
the day before recording. We will go back

2305
01:20:53,814 --> 01:20:56,375
on Monday for another concert, of which he

2306
01:20:56,375 --> 01:20:58,454
has solos in that one. Yeah. So next

2307
01:20:58,454 --> 01:21:00,454
week, he has two days of concerts back

2308
01:21:00,454 --> 01:21:02,025
to back. And I was like, hey. We

2309
01:21:02,025 --> 01:21:04,073
love you so much. We wanna support all

2310
01:21:04,073 --> 01:21:06,119
that you do. We cannot do two evenings

2311
01:21:06,119 --> 01:21:08,167
of concerts in a row because we we

2312
01:21:08,167 --> 01:21:10,215
struggle to function the day after. Today is

2313
01:21:10,215 --> 01:21:12,517
a day where usually we start working at,

2314
01:21:12,517 --> 01:21:14,564
like, 09:10 o'clock in the morning. Nope.

2315
01:21:15,685 --> 01:21:16,645
11:30

2316
01:21:16,645 --> 01:21:19,364
is when we did our first actual work

2317
01:21:19,364 --> 01:21:21,204
thing today because we just needed to sleep

2318
01:21:21,204 --> 01:21:22,805
in and we had a slow start. So

2319
01:21:22,805 --> 01:21:24,164
we can't do two days in a row

2320
01:21:24,164 --> 01:21:26,564
and get anything done. No. So I was

2321
01:21:26,564 --> 01:21:27,385
like, okay.

2322
01:21:27,869 --> 01:21:29,550
We want to see you in this band

2323
01:21:29,550 --> 01:21:31,869
and this band, but this band, Monday, you

2324
01:21:31,869 --> 01:21:33,310
have solos. Right? And he's like, yeah. He

2325
01:21:33,310 --> 01:21:34,750
goes, actually, I'd prefer you to go see

2326
01:21:34,750 --> 01:21:36,289
me in that performance because

2327
01:21:36,670 --> 01:21:38,609
the band that I'm performing in on Tuesday,

2328
01:21:38,989 --> 01:21:40,684
it's gonna be a hot mess. We're not

2329
01:21:40,684 --> 01:21:42,364
prepared at all. So come to another one

2330
01:21:42,364 --> 01:21:44,204
of those concerts. I was like, cool beans.

2331
01:21:44,204 --> 01:21:45,184
I can do this.

2332
01:21:45,804 --> 01:21:46,304
So

2333
01:21:47,005 --> 01:21:49,484
yeah. He's, I cannot maybe I talked about

2334
01:21:49,484 --> 01:21:52,109
it during the Friday night livestream this month.

2335
01:21:52,109 --> 01:21:52,770
I cannot

2336
01:21:53,229 --> 01:21:55,729
remember. But his he cannot ride his motorcycle

2337
01:21:55,789 --> 01:21:56,369
right now

2338
01:21:56,750 --> 01:21:57,250
because

2339
01:21:57,789 --> 01:21:58,289
he

2340
01:21:58,829 --> 01:22:00,909
he got into an accident. He did not

2341
01:22:00,909 --> 01:22:03,069
get hit by a literal fucking car. But

2342
01:22:03,069 --> 01:22:04,909
they cut him off. But they they could

2343
01:22:04,909 --> 01:22:07,005
have hit him, and he swerved, and

2344
01:22:07,465 --> 01:22:09,784
he could not slow down fast enough to

2345
01:22:09,784 --> 01:22:11,625
not hit this car. So he had to

2346
01:22:11,625 --> 01:22:13,404
swerve and he ended up in the median,

2347
01:22:13,944 --> 01:22:15,385
and he busted a part of his bike

2348
01:22:15,385 --> 01:22:17,805
so he can't he can't safely ride his

2349
01:22:17,944 --> 01:22:20,425
bike. Turn signals have broken off. Right. So

2350
01:22:20,425 --> 01:22:22,199
he's gotta get into the guy who does

2351
01:22:22,199 --> 01:22:23,639
his bike repairs for him. He's got a

2352
01:22:23,639 --> 01:22:24,380
guy now.

2353
01:22:25,639 --> 01:22:27,639
And yes, Silent. I I do think so

2354
01:22:27,639 --> 01:22:28,139
too.

2355
01:22:28,679 --> 01:22:29,179
So

2356
01:22:29,880 --> 01:22:32,199
Silent says, isn't that his third accident? I

2357
01:22:32,199 --> 01:22:33,179
think he's cursed.

2358
01:22:33,645 --> 01:22:36,284
Yeah. He's also a human being that only

2359
01:22:36,284 --> 01:22:38,444
learns by doing. The hard way. Right? It

2360
01:22:38,444 --> 01:22:39,804
has to happen to him, and then he

2361
01:22:39,804 --> 01:22:42,284
goes, oh, I know. Yep. Yep. Yep. And

2362
01:22:42,284 --> 01:22:44,284
and Not a cautious bone in that job,

2363
01:22:44,284 --> 01:22:46,064
buddy. We we did give him

2364
01:22:46,604 --> 01:22:49,279
the Corolla at one time. Remember that that

2365
01:22:49,279 --> 01:22:51,119
time? He really, really needed a car and

2366
01:22:51,119 --> 01:22:52,319
we we let him have it for a

2367
01:22:52,319 --> 01:22:53,539
few days. Yeah.

2368
01:22:56,000 --> 01:22:57,520
Got it back with a flat tire. We

2369
01:22:57,520 --> 01:22:58,420
had We did.

2370
01:22:59,359 --> 01:23:01,600
But before we could even take the car

2371
01:23:01,600 --> 01:23:03,935
home and the and the car was track

2372
01:23:04,015 --> 01:23:06,255
it couldn't even repair the tire. Had to

2373
01:23:06,255 --> 01:23:08,494
get a whole new tire. Yeah. That was

2374
01:23:08,494 --> 01:23:10,275
that was fun times. Yeah. Fun times.

2375
01:23:11,935 --> 01:23:14,114
Yeah. He's he's been on a vehicle journey

2376
01:23:14,414 --> 01:23:17,454
after college. Yeah. Yeah. He he other than

2377
01:23:17,454 --> 01:23:18,835
a little shook up and

2378
01:23:19,460 --> 01:23:20,912
mad, but also I think Yeah. He was

2379
01:23:20,912 --> 01:23:22,179
not hurt. I was more scared than anything.

2380
01:23:22,179 --> 01:23:24,500
He was fine. This was this was not

2381
01:23:24,500 --> 01:23:26,739
like JD flying through the fucking air and

2382
01:23:26,739 --> 01:23:27,880
landing on his head.

2383
01:23:28,819 --> 01:23:31,640
For the record, I was having my panicky,

2384
01:23:31,914 --> 01:23:34,475
overanxious crying because something could happen to my

2385
01:23:34,475 --> 01:23:36,635
daddy Dom before he got hit by a

2386
01:23:36,635 --> 01:23:39,354
literal motorcycle. It just got worse after he

2387
01:23:39,354 --> 01:23:40,574
got hit by a literal

2388
01:23:40,875 --> 01:23:42,494
fucker literal car.

2389
01:23:43,114 --> 01:23:44,635
So I'm I'm just saying,

2390
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:46,574
yeah. So

2391
01:23:48,289 --> 01:23:48,930
but, yeah, we were

2392
01:23:49,890 --> 01:23:51,350
we got to see him, and

2393
01:23:53,010 --> 01:23:55,250
he's been very tired. There's some man, there's

2394
01:23:55,250 --> 01:23:57,729
still not that spring semester of probably any

2395
01:23:57,729 --> 01:23:59,430
school, but certainly college that,

2396
01:24:00,385 --> 01:24:02,484
is, I guess exhausting. Yeah.

2397
01:24:03,024 --> 01:24:05,425
I guess maybe because everything's kinda coming together

2398
01:24:05,425 --> 01:24:07,344
for the year, maybe. I don't know. I

2399
01:24:07,344 --> 01:24:08,005
don't know.

2400
01:24:08,864 --> 01:24:10,145
I don't know right now. I I just

2401
01:24:10,145 --> 01:24:12,000
bring him pay for and bring him his

2402
01:24:12,239 --> 01:24:14,800
medication now And food. And food and feed

2403
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:16,640
him and take him to Sam's Club when

2404
01:24:16,640 --> 01:24:19,359
he needs it. Mhmm. And my favorite thing,

2405
01:24:19,359 --> 01:24:21,520
I I love that we continue to have

2406
01:24:21,520 --> 01:24:23,520
this relationship. He'll call me, and it's always

2407
01:24:23,520 --> 01:24:25,140
at, like, 09:00 at night.

2408
01:24:25,595 --> 01:24:27,295
He'll call me on like some random

2409
01:24:27,675 --> 01:24:29,595
Tuesday or something and go, can I rant

2410
01:24:29,595 --> 01:24:31,114
to you? And I'm like, yeah, sure, of

2411
01:24:31,114 --> 01:24:33,034
course, baby. He always real sweet. He always

2412
01:24:33,034 --> 01:24:34,975
goes, are you busy? Like I would tell

2413
01:24:35,274 --> 01:24:37,274
my baby boy that I am too busy

2414
01:24:37,274 --> 01:24:39,069
to talk to him. And what the hell

2415
01:24:39,069 --> 01:24:40,670
am I doing at 09:30 at night that

2416
01:24:40,670 --> 01:24:42,430
I'm busy? I'm like, no. No. I'm fine.

2417
01:24:42,430 --> 01:24:44,189
I'm fine. What you got? I need to

2418
01:24:44,189 --> 01:24:46,770
rant. Go for it. Forty five minutes later,

2419
01:24:46,829 --> 01:24:48,989
he feels a little bit better. I'm a

2420
01:24:48,989 --> 01:24:50,689
little more stressed on his behalf.

2421
01:24:54,555 --> 01:24:55,055
So

2422
01:24:55,595 --> 01:24:57,595
yeah. And I'm I'm trying to figure out

2423
01:24:57,595 --> 01:24:59,614
why it looks like I have a line

2424
01:24:59,914 --> 01:25:01,675
down the center of my head. Well, look

2425
01:25:01,675 --> 01:25:03,195
at me and I'll oh, you're looking at

2426
01:25:03,195 --> 01:25:05,195
yourself on camera? One half is lighter and

2427
01:25:05,195 --> 01:25:06,635
one half is darker. Okay. Can you look

2428
01:25:06,635 --> 01:25:07,909
at me and see it, like, been your

2429
01:25:09,029 --> 01:25:11,369
because one half of your head is lighter.

2430
01:25:11,670 --> 01:25:12,170
Wily.

2431
01:25:13,350 --> 01:25:13,850
Yeah.

2432
01:25:15,750 --> 01:25:16,949
And I don't know if it's from the

2433
01:25:16,949 --> 01:25:19,189
glare or if it's legit, but at this

2434
01:25:19,189 --> 01:25:19,689
angle,

2435
01:25:21,845 --> 01:25:22,905
podcast folks,

2436
01:25:23,364 --> 01:25:24,345
I'm so sorry.

2437
01:25:25,525 --> 01:25:28,005
But if you if you wanna if you

2438
01:25:28,005 --> 01:25:30,485
wanna see this for yourself and judge for

2439
01:25:30,485 --> 01:25:32,930
yourself, just just go to this week's video.

2440
01:25:33,229 --> 01:25:35,390
For anybody who, like, actually accesses our show

2441
01:25:35,390 --> 01:25:36,909
notes page, whether it's through our website or

2442
01:25:36,909 --> 01:25:38,430
whatever, at the very bottom, I always put

2443
01:25:38,430 --> 01:25:40,430
the video to the episode for anybody who,

2444
01:25:40,430 --> 01:25:42,189
you know, might come across our website before

2445
01:25:42,189 --> 01:25:43,810
they come across anything else. Mhmm.

2446
01:25:44,350 --> 01:25:45,729
So yeah. Yeah.

2447
01:25:48,295 --> 01:25:49,194
Skunk daddy.

2448
01:25:52,215 --> 01:25:53,975
Thank you, silent, for giving us a new

2449
01:25:53,975 --> 01:25:54,875
name for JB.

2450
01:25:55,255 --> 01:25:56,234
Skunk daddy.

2451
01:25:58,215 --> 01:25:58,715
I'm

2452
01:25:59,175 --> 01:26:01,199
not making that shirt design. I'm not.

2453
01:26:01,579 --> 01:26:04,380
And now and now it, makes me think

2454
01:26:04,380 --> 01:26:05,520
of the skunk cabbage

2455
01:26:06,220 --> 01:26:07,739
I had in the woods growing up when

2456
01:26:07,739 --> 01:26:10,239
I was a kid. Okay. That's beyond my

2457
01:26:10,539 --> 01:26:12,619
understanding. At least that's what I it it

2458
01:26:12,619 --> 01:26:15,180
was a, it was a plant grew mostly

2459
01:26:15,180 --> 01:26:16,614
around swamps, bogs,

2460
01:26:17,074 --> 01:26:19,395
and Okay. I didn't I didn't do anything

2461
01:26:19,395 --> 01:26:20,695
like that. And,

2462
01:26:21,475 --> 01:26:22,935
when you if you, like,

2463
01:26:23,235 --> 01:26:25,895
disturb the plant, you crush it, it stinks.

2464
01:26:26,275 --> 01:26:27,494
Oh, okay.

2465
01:26:27,954 --> 01:26:29,795
It's like a stink plant instead of a

2466
01:26:29,795 --> 01:26:31,550
stink bug. Yeah. Okay.

2467
01:26:32,569 --> 01:26:33,630
Okay. Yeah.

2468
01:26:34,569 --> 01:26:36,010
Yeah. I don't know if it's a light

2469
01:26:36,889 --> 01:26:38,729
no. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come

2470
01:26:38,729 --> 01:26:39,229
here.

2471
01:26:39,770 --> 01:26:40,670
No. It's

2472
01:26:41,369 --> 01:26:42,349
oh my god.

2473
01:26:44,329 --> 01:26:46,125
Okay. Podcast sisters. Let me see if I

2474
01:26:46,125 --> 01:26:48,364
can describe this. JB's got his head pointed

2475
01:26:48,364 --> 01:26:49,564
out. Come here. Come back to me. Come

2476
01:26:49,564 --> 01:26:51,885
back to me. Me looking at JB, the

2477
01:26:51,885 --> 01:26:54,284
left side of his head is this dark

2478
01:26:54,284 --> 01:26:56,465
brown with just a little smattering of silver.

2479
01:26:56,685 --> 01:26:58,145
And then there's this patch

2480
01:26:58,524 --> 01:26:59,024
on

2481
01:26:59,324 --> 01:27:00,305
on my right.

2482
01:27:00,770 --> 01:27:03,090
Yeah. My right. Yeah. My right. And it's

2483
01:27:03,090 --> 01:27:05,329
more silvery than dark. And it's just this

2484
01:27:05,329 --> 01:27:08,150
patch, but it is there's a center line.

2485
01:27:10,050 --> 01:27:11,030
Is that new?

2486
01:27:11,570 --> 01:27:13,170
Or did we just never notice it? I

2487
01:27:13,170 --> 01:27:15,170
don't know. But now when you look at

2488
01:27:15,170 --> 01:27:17,085
me head on, there's a I can't understand.

2489
01:27:17,524 --> 01:27:19,685
See it. No. We need to ask one

2490
01:27:19,685 --> 01:27:21,625
of the kids who, will absolutely,

2491
01:27:22,244 --> 01:27:23,685
tell you like it is to hurt your

2492
01:27:23,685 --> 01:27:25,784
feelings, what they see. Yeah.

2493
01:27:26,404 --> 01:27:27,545
Yep. Yeah.

2494
01:27:28,164 --> 01:27:28,664
Alright.

2495
01:27:29,045 --> 01:27:29,925
Okay. So

2496
01:27:31,989 --> 01:27:32,569
I know.

2497
01:27:35,829 --> 01:27:38,310
Right? No. Silent Silent said if if we

2498
01:27:38,310 --> 01:27:40,149
only had several years of video footage, sure

2499
01:27:40,149 --> 01:27:42,310
for two. Here's what thirsts me off. Every

2500
01:27:42,310 --> 01:27:44,389
once in a while, somebody watches an older

2501
01:27:44,389 --> 01:27:46,969
video and they'll comment on it and then

2502
01:27:46,969 --> 01:27:49,203
I'm I'm seeing things in my feed again,

2503
01:27:49,203 --> 01:27:51,438
like, on the the dashboard side of things,

2504
01:27:51,438 --> 01:27:53,671
and I'll see one of our videos from

2505
01:27:53,671 --> 01:27:56,185
2019, '20 '20. Oh my god. Your hair

2506
01:27:56,185 --> 01:27:58,800
was so dark. We were so much thinner.

2507
01:27:59,180 --> 01:28:00,860
And I I I look at those and

2508
01:28:00,860 --> 01:28:03,199
I'm like, what the fuck happened? I know.

2509
01:28:03,659 --> 01:28:04,320
I know.

2510
01:28:05,340 --> 01:28:06,079
I know.

2511
01:28:06,780 --> 01:28:07,020
So

2512
01:28:07,979 --> 01:28:08,479
anyhoo.

2513
01:28:08,780 --> 01:28:09,280
Anyway,

2514
01:28:09,979 --> 01:28:12,000
I think that's enough chaos for

2515
01:28:12,425 --> 01:28:14,585
this week. Yeah. We'll be back with more

2516
01:28:14,585 --> 01:28:15,085
chaos.

2517
01:28:16,104 --> 01:28:16,925
Next week.

2518
01:28:17,305 --> 01:28:19,625
And, hey, hey, if you're a Patreon member,

2519
01:28:19,625 --> 01:28:21,545
the behind the scenes podcast episode will be

2520
01:28:21,545 --> 01:28:23,704
up soon, and there there's some more more

2521
01:28:23,704 --> 01:28:24,765
chaos for you.

2522
01:28:26,110 --> 01:28:28,670
So, yeah, we thank y'all, for being here.

2523
01:28:28,670 --> 01:28:30,909
Mhmm. Even if perimenopause is a thing you

2524
01:28:30,909 --> 01:28:32,829
will probably never be around in your whole

2525
01:28:32,829 --> 01:28:35,710
life, but you listened anyway, we appreciate you.

2526
01:28:35,949 --> 01:28:38,350
For my fellow hot cranky folks out there,

2527
01:28:38,350 --> 01:28:40,050
I see you. I am you.

2528
01:28:40,829 --> 01:28:42,904
We will survive this. This.

2529
01:28:43,364 --> 01:28:46,085
And so yeah, we're we're gonna go. Thanks

2530
01:28:46,085 --> 01:28:48,024
for being here with us. Yep. Okay.

2531
01:28:48,484 --> 01:28:48,984
Bye.