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You're listening to Loving BDSM podcast episode 4

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24.

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Kayla Lords here with the one, the only,

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the guy who might originally be from New

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York, but is no longer made for cold

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weather. John Brownstone. Darn straight. Yeah. Even Florida

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cold. Yeah. No. I it's it's, it's too

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much. You know, I

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Long time ago. You don't want me to

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tell you how old I was in early

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81? Yeah. No. No. No. No. Let's not

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go there. No.

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Age gaps are fun and awkward.

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Even at our age. Right?

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If you hear what sounds like a in

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the background, that's because our Florida cold and

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the arctic blast that hit us in Florida,

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required our heater to be running,

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in the office.

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So that's the A little space heater Yeah.

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Yeah. In addition. In addition to whatever else

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we can get.

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As you could tell, we're back from break

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and still just as chaotic as ever. Mhmm.

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Diminishing

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the chaos has never been a resolution for

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us. It's never a goal. Yeah.

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We're gonna try maybe not to increase the

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chaos. Just to maintain our level of chaos.

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And and yet we're also we've got plans

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for 2025, and that's what we're gonna talk

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about this week.

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We've we don't do resolutions, but we've got

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plans and goals and intentions and even words,

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multiple words of the year that we're trying

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to, like, follow,

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as it relates to our power exchange and

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getting back or getting to a point where

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we're like, yes. This is the power exchange

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we want to have.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday

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for your kinky pleasure and education. Show notes

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are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and follow the show. Nope.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. How,

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after 2 hun 424

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episodes, am I still getting that wrong? You

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know?

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Are we gonna rerecord it? No. Because that

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would be the 4th take of this intro.

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You can also follow the show on fat

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life at loving BDSM PC

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at blue sky at it's at loving BDSM,

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and then a whole bunch of other stuff.

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Just search loving BDSM will pop up on

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Instagram and technically threads at that handle I

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will forever fucking hate. And I get annoyed

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every time I have to think about it

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because it makes me so mad.

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That is loving d s and the number

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one. So at loving d s one. Or

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on YouTube at youtube.com/loving

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BDSM, where you can watch us live stream

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the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in

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the show notes. Okay. So before we get

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into,

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today's topic,

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announcements.

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1, relatively short. 1,

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relatively long. Brace yourselves.

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Okay.

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So the first one is just,

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to point you

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to a podcast episode slash video slash even

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blog post that we were a part of

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with Dom Sub Living. They asked us and

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a few other,

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king sters what is, like, the one thing

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you wish you knew

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when you got into kink, when you you

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know, before you even got into kink. So

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we shared our thoughts

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along with other folks like Eevi and Sunny

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Megatron and a couple other people whose right

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now the names escaped me, but I recognized

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them. I was like, oh, yeah.

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But y'all know me and my memory.

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So

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if you would like to check out that

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episode

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video

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situation,

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the link is in the places.

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Feel free.

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Ta da. There you go.

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That one was the quick one. Look at

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it. Yay. It was a quick one.

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Here's the long one.

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We are

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officially

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in our 20

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25 Patreon

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membership drive. This is the part of the

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year where we try to encourage as many

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folks who as who can because you happen

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to have the funds to join us on

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Patreon.

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1,

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joining on Patreon is a way to support

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the work we do and make it a

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little easier for us

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to do it and to not be working

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on other things.

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It helps sustain life, and so we can

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sit here with you once a week and

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be whatever this is.

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And in exchange, we hope we give our

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Patreon community

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something in return to make it worth it.

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So the membership drive is important for two

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primary reasons. It runs through February

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16th,

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15th, 15th, 15th, 15th.

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I think in the blog post, I said

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16th. There's a blog post with all this

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information I'm about to say. It's linked in

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the places if you would prefer to read

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it, or if you need a refresher. But

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I'm just now realizing

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I put an incorrect date. 15th.

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Runs to 15th February.

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The during the membership drive, what you get

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that makes this special opposed to other times

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is, 1, if you sign them as an

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annual member, you get 2 months free. So

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you pay for 10 months and you get

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access for a year.

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On a $10 a month membership, that's in

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in US dollars, it's a $100.

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Also during the membership drive, if you maintain

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membership, hi.

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Shout out to our current kinking community or

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you've become a a member and are a

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member until February 15th,

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you then get a special goodie

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based on your tier. So this year,

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the we have 3 tiers in our Patreon.

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The 2 and the $5

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folks in those 2 tiers

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will get and not even released yet and

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not technically not even finished yet,

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new

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kinky workbook that we are making,

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and it will focus on,

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communication and power exchange, which I just still

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don't know how we haven't made that workbook

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yet.

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So it's brand new. It won't be available

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anywhere else when we send it out to

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the folks who, become eligible for it. They'll

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get it at no additional charge.

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Eventually, it will make its way to Etsy,

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where if you want it, you gotta pay

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for it.

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The

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we're doing something

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a little a little different this year. Also,

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the

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$10 tier, it's our highest official tier.

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We'll also get that

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BDSM workbook. It is digital. It's a PDF.

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It's printable.

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We do not have the the means, the

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funds to do printed ones at this point.

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Not in this way. Not for something like

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a membership drive.

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But the $10 tier gets that, but also

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gets an exclusive, meaning you will not see

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it on Etsy

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later. Pin, enamel pin, p I n pin.

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I don't know if y'all think I'm saying

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it right, but I think I'm saying it

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right.

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That commemorates

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the loving BDSM

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10th podcast anniversary

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because 2025

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is when we hit our 10th podcast anniversary.

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Wow. So we're it's gonna feature,

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our logo. And then once I finish, like,

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making it look away, it's gonna say, like,

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10th anniversary and, like, 2015 to 25,

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something like that. And it will only be

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available,

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to our Kinky community members. The first chance

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to get it is to be in the

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$10

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tier,

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during the membership drive.

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We do ship internationally, so you can be

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in the states. You can be in another

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country. If you're in that tier, you will

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get that pin.

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After the membership drive, we will might do

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give giveaways throughout the year. So, you know,

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we can other people can have a chance

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to get that pin, but

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this is not one we are selling. This

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is one that it will be exclusive

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exclusive,

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because quite frankly, we would not have made

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it 10

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years without our Patreon community. That's true.

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Y'all got us through some, like, real lean

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times. So,

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yeah. This one is just for Patreon membership.

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The

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up through February 15th, you get 2 months

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free for for an annual thing. If you

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don't have that kind of cash, but you're

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like, I would really like that pin.

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If you do month to month, you can

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cancel or change your tier at at any

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time. It's as little as $2 a month

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to join. But if you want that pin,

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gotta be in the $10 tier during the

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membership drive. So after the membership

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drive, change your tier if you need to.

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We don't want anybody going broke just to

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come hang out with us. Now

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if you join our Patreon at any point

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this year,

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especially the membership drive, here's what you get.

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Everybody gets, certain things regardless of tier. Access

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to our Discord server. It is the only

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way to get access to our Discord server.

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And,

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oh my god. How have I forgotten what

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we give away? Holy

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crap.

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We also do a monthly behind the scenes

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podcast episode that used to focus more on

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what we were doing professionally, and it still

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will because our work life is part of

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our life. But as you'll find out in

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this week's episode about our plans

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to, like, where we wanna go with our

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power exchange life this year, we will be

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talking about that a lot in the behind

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the scenes in ways that we probably won't

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do in episodes.

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So you get a little insight there. Plus,

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we will do alternating every other month, a

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game night or movie night. Game night, we'll

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play Cards Against Humanity every other month. In

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the month we don't have a game night,

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we're doing a movie night. We're gonna do

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that in Discord. I'll probably just share my

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screen. We intend to watch kinky movies together.

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How long will they take? I guess it

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depends on how often I have to hit

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pause and go, what the ever loving fuck?

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So

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that's what everybody gets regardless

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of, what tier you're at. If you join

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at the $5 tier, you get access to

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a brand new thing we've never done before,

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but is highly requested.

273
00:09:55,370 --> 00:09:56,429
JB is recording

274
00:09:57,049 --> 00:09:58,110
himself reading

275
00:09:58,490 --> 00:10:00,730
bedtime stories. And we're doing fairy tales for

276
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,448
this year. Grim's fairy tales. Grim's fairy tales.

277
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:04,879
So if you like the sound of this

278
00:10:04,879 --> 00:10:07,309
man's voice and wish you could hear it

279
00:10:07,309 --> 00:10:09,740
without me anywhere near it, this would be

280
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:12,171
your chance. The $5 tier minimum is what

281
00:10:12,171 --> 00:10:14,601
you have to do to join that. If

282
00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:17,032
you join the $10 tier, you get access

283
00:10:17,032 --> 00:10:19,799
to every digital product we make that goes

284
00:10:19,799 --> 00:10:21,399
on Etsy, all of our workbooks, all of

285
00:10:21,399 --> 00:10:23,799
our planner sheets, the coloring books we make,

286
00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:26,120
all of that at no additional charge. That's

287
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,600
what you get extra in the $10 tier,

288
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,274
plus access to the bedtime stories, plus everything

289
00:10:31,274 --> 00:10:32,575
else. So,

290
00:10:33,595 --> 00:10:36,014
I just said a lot and was chaotic.

291
00:10:36,315 --> 00:10:38,495
If you're like, what the hell was that?

292
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:41,115
There are links in the places where you

293
00:10:41,115 --> 00:10:42,815
can go look at the information

294
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:44,070
for yourself

295
00:10:45,009 --> 00:10:46,230
and not depend

296
00:10:47,009 --> 00:10:48,929
on my chaotic ass. I think I need

297
00:10:48,929 --> 00:10:50,149
to go read the information.

298
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,589
So do I.

299
00:10:51,970 --> 00:10:54,610
And I have written it multiple times in

300
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,309
multiple places now.

301
00:10:56,725 --> 00:10:58,165
I just now realized I got a date

302
00:10:58,165 --> 00:11:00,345
wrong because, of course, I did. And somebody,

303
00:11:00,404 --> 00:11:02,985
master Frostbite, in the chat asked, stickers?

304
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:05,144
We're not doing stickers this year.

305
00:11:05,605 --> 00:11:08,990
Part of that was because trying to afford

306
00:11:08,990 --> 00:11:10,289
to mail out stickers,

307
00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:11,570
in 2024

308
00:11:12,029 --> 00:11:13,169
nearly broke us.

309
00:11:15,070 --> 00:11:18,209
And the best way to make the enameled

310
00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:21,089
pin at the $10 level truly exclusive,

311
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:23,470
that has to be the only thing I'm

312
00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:23,970
spending

313
00:11:24,634 --> 00:11:25,134
postage

314
00:11:26,315 --> 00:11:28,634
and dollars to create on. Now we do

315
00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:29,134
have

316
00:11:29,674 --> 00:11:32,174
a a tentative plan to do something special

317
00:11:32,475 --> 00:11:34,554
at the end of the year for December

318
00:11:34,554 --> 00:11:37,274
for, like, a special temporary tier folks can

319
00:11:37,274 --> 00:11:37,774
join.

320
00:11:39,169 --> 00:11:41,350
And that will likely involve stickers,

321
00:11:41,970 --> 00:11:43,649
but that's not a fully fleshed out plan.

322
00:11:43,649 --> 00:11:45,589
So, no, this year, $2

323
00:11:46,049 --> 00:11:49,269
$5 folks get our brand new BDSM communication

324
00:11:49,889 --> 00:11:53,409
workbook, and then $10 folks get that and

325
00:11:53,409 --> 00:11:53,909
the

326
00:11:54,394 --> 00:11:55,455
special 10th anniversary

327
00:11:56,154 --> 00:11:58,495
enamel pin, p I n pin.

328
00:11:59,195 --> 00:11:59,695
So,

329
00:12:01,355 --> 00:12:03,054
yeah, that's that's what

330
00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:08,690
that's what's going on. I hate that I

331
00:12:08,690 --> 00:12:10,149
did not have my shit together

332
00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:13,089
well enough to explain that. But I knew

333
00:12:13,089 --> 00:12:14,950
I wouldn't. I put it in writing.

334
00:12:16,529 --> 00:12:18,610
If you happen to be a current Patreon

335
00:12:18,610 --> 00:12:20,309
member or you join, like,

336
00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:23,115
in the next whatever, we also did a

337
00:12:23,115 --> 00:12:24,554
video on it that you would have access

338
00:12:24,554 --> 00:12:27,294
to. We also recorded an audio podcast. Like,

339
00:12:27,995 --> 00:12:30,174
we just that's all that was for,

340
00:12:30,634 --> 00:12:32,394
Patreon folks. But it is in writing if

341
00:12:32,394 --> 00:12:33,914
you're like, I have no fucking clue what

342
00:12:33,914 --> 00:12:35,195
she just said. I don't know what she's

343
00:12:35,195 --> 00:12:35,934
talking about.

344
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:37,810
There are links.

345
00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:39,570
So

346
00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:41,410
that is that.

347
00:12:43,550 --> 00:12:44,910
I am gonna take a sip of my

348
00:12:44,910 --> 00:12:46,930
diet Coke and show off to the camera

349
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:47,810
my,

350
00:12:48,190 --> 00:12:50,514
new Starbucks cup I got for Christmas.

351
00:12:52,735 --> 00:12:54,355
That is beautiful. Okay.

352
00:12:56,014 --> 00:12:58,034
So into the actual topic.

353
00:13:00,414 --> 00:13:00,914
Okay.

354
00:13:01,534 --> 00:13:02,034
And

355
00:13:02,495 --> 00:13:03,475
he walked away.

356
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,259
Oh, okay. I was gonna say, just a

357
00:13:06,259 --> 00:13:07,940
reminder for anybody who maybe didn't catch it

358
00:13:07,940 --> 00:13:09,879
at the very, very beginning of this episode,

359
00:13:10,019 --> 00:13:12,340
there was a in the background for JB's

360
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,160
space heater.

361
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,460
I just turned it off. I know. And

362
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,200
I'm Yeah.

363
00:13:16,899 --> 00:13:18,794
So So now if you're like, wow. I

364
00:13:18,794 --> 00:13:20,975
can hear them better. It's because that's Spacey.

365
00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:23,595
Time. Yep. Did you, get hot? Warm

366
00:13:24,075 --> 00:13:26,634
comfortable enough. Wow. I'm not gonna say I'm

367
00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:28,394
warm. No. You would never admit that during

368
00:13:28,394 --> 00:13:31,054
this arctic blast that Florida is experiencing.

369
00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:34,450
She, she teased me on mercy

370
00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:38,190
mercilessly last night because I, wrapped myself up

371
00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:41,070
in a microfiber blanket. Oh, he I mean,

372
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:44,054
he wrapped himself up like he was, you

373
00:13:44,054 --> 00:13:46,215
know, escaping war, y'all. Like, it was the

374
00:13:46,215 --> 00:13:47,014
way I mean, he was

375
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,534
y'all, he looked pitiful. I the fur the

376
00:13:50,534 --> 00:13:51,894
first view I got of it, I didn't

377
00:13:51,894 --> 00:13:53,575
get my my phone up fast enough to

378
00:13:53,575 --> 00:13:54,855
get the picture because that one was the

379
00:13:54,855 --> 00:13:57,174
funniest view. And then I finally convinced him

380
00:13:57,174 --> 00:13:58,720
to do a a recreation and I posted

381
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,199
that in Discord. I was like, somebody is

382
00:14:01,199 --> 00:14:03,779
cold and somebody else is laughing at them.

383
00:14:04,799 --> 00:14:05,779
Snap up.

384
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,480
Because y'all, he was in his flannel pj

385
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:10,980
pants,

386
00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:12,659
his shirt,

387
00:14:13,235 --> 00:14:16,115
his did you have your robe on? Yeah.

388
00:14:16,115 --> 00:14:18,375
Your slippers Mhmm. The blanket

389
00:14:19,074 --> 00:14:21,315
with the dog. Was the dog next to

390
00:14:21,315 --> 00:14:23,074
you at the time with her body heat?

391
00:14:23,074 --> 00:14:25,334
Yep. And the space heater

392
00:14:25,889 --> 00:14:28,049
3 feet away from him. And the cat

393
00:14:28,049 --> 00:14:28,870
in my lap.

394
00:14:30,850 --> 00:14:31,990
Anyway, that's

395
00:14:32,929 --> 00:14:33,429
me,

396
00:14:34,850 --> 00:14:35,490
what's the right one?

397
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,769
Giving you shit. It's not really the point

398
00:14:38,769 --> 00:14:40,125
of this episode. No.

399
00:14:40,924 --> 00:14:43,245
It's a feature, not a bug of our

400
00:14:43,245 --> 00:14:44,225
relationship, though.

401
00:14:44,924 --> 00:14:45,424
So,

402
00:14:47,565 --> 00:14:49,644
I think we both realized we were on

403
00:14:49,644 --> 00:14:51,105
the same page about

404
00:14:51,485 --> 00:14:52,200
this week's

405
00:14:52,679 --> 00:14:53,080
topic,

406
00:14:53,639 --> 00:14:56,200
when we were having our conversation in the

407
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,980
last episode of 2024.

408
00:14:58,519 --> 00:15:00,360
Mhmm. Because, you know, you said it. You're

409
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,279
like, I I miss us. I wanna get

410
00:15:02,279 --> 00:15:04,840
back to us. Right? Mhmm. And then we

411
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,040
did a thing I don't think we've done

412
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,384
in literal years. We actually took time off

413
00:15:08,384 --> 00:15:10,705
during our break Yes. Which did a lot

414
00:15:10,705 --> 00:15:12,865
of wonderful good things, but also I think

415
00:15:12,865 --> 00:15:14,725
gave us time to just

416
00:15:15,345 --> 00:15:17,745
sit and breathe and Mhmm. Think and not

417
00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:19,284
just think about the things that

418
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,149
stress us out or worry us, but think

419
00:15:21,149 --> 00:15:23,389
about the things we actually want. Yeah. And

420
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,330
and, you know, for me, that was

421
00:15:26,269 --> 00:15:28,429
kind of unusual because I don't normally do

422
00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:30,690
that, you know. In in the past,

423
00:15:32,985 --> 00:15:34,745
during our winter break, I would go out,

424
00:15:34,745 --> 00:15:35,644
you know, I'd I'd

425
00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:38,345
I'd deep clean the shop, so to speak.

426
00:15:38,345 --> 00:15:39,165
You know, I'd

427
00:15:39,625 --> 00:15:40,125
I'd

428
00:15:40,585 --> 00:15:43,144
I'd maintenance tools. I'd make things that I

429
00:15:43,144 --> 00:15:44,460
don't have a chance to make

430
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,700
during the busy of the season, and I

431
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,300
did not do that this year. No. You

432
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:49,259
actually rested

433
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:51,899
Yeah. As as you should. Mhmm. I mean,

434
00:15:51,899 --> 00:15:53,420
I believe I was lecturing you in previous

435
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:54,480
years for now. Yeah.

436
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:57,144
But the good thing about that is, you

437
00:15:57,144 --> 00:15:58,504
know, we got to just relax and just

438
00:15:58,504 --> 00:16:00,024
do some stuff we wanted to do. Mhmm.

439
00:16:00,024 --> 00:16:01,625
We got we got a lot more sleep,

440
00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:03,164
all that. Yeah. But also,

441
00:16:04,584 --> 00:16:05,084
we,

442
00:16:06,184 --> 00:16:08,105
we had a couple of pleasant surprises. So

443
00:16:08,105 --> 00:16:09,804
let me start by saying the

444
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:10,825
the,

445
00:16:11,225 --> 00:16:13,339
caveat that the reminder,

446
00:16:13,799 --> 00:16:14,779
the whatever,

447
00:16:16,199 --> 00:16:18,679
kink and sex do not are not required

448
00:16:18,679 --> 00:16:20,120
to go hand in hand. You can do

449
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,879
kink without sex. It's like you can do

450
00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:24,940
sex without kink. Mhmm. However, if we're fucking,

451
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,059
it's kinky.

452
00:16:26,764 --> 00:16:28,125
That's just how we are with 1 of

453
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:30,205
those. Aspect to that in there. Yeah. Right.

454
00:16:30,205 --> 00:16:32,785
It's it's there's something about it that's definitely

455
00:16:32,924 --> 00:16:34,545
under the BDSM umbrella

456
00:16:35,085 --> 00:16:35,904
every time.

457
00:16:36,365 --> 00:16:37,665
A couple things happened

458
00:16:38,445 --> 00:16:40,384
in a very short amount of time. 1,

459
00:16:41,004 --> 00:16:41,745
we were

460
00:16:43,379 --> 00:16:46,019
relaxed enough and rested enough Mhmm. That we

461
00:16:46,019 --> 00:16:47,240
wanted to have sex,

462
00:16:48,179 --> 00:16:48,679
and

463
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:51,539
we were in a head space where we

464
00:16:51,539 --> 00:16:53,879
were actually actively talking about

465
00:16:54,434 --> 00:16:56,115
not just our kink life, not just our

466
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:57,975
power change, but actually our sex life,

467
00:16:58,674 --> 00:17:00,355
which is not something we've done in a

468
00:17:00,355 --> 00:17:02,615
long time. The last conversation,

469
00:17:03,315 --> 00:17:03,975
I think,

470
00:17:04,355 --> 00:17:06,720
I remember having, it was me doing the,

471
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,039
I am so sorry that I don't seem

472
00:17:09,039 --> 00:17:11,119
to want that right now and, you know.

473
00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:12,640
And and, you know, I I think that

474
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:13,380
was my

475
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,960
state of mind for for a time there.

476
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:17,619
You know?

477
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:20,099
Yeah. She's going through, you know, perimenopause

478
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,174
and has no interest

479
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,994
in in segs and Yeah. You know, and

480
00:17:25,994 --> 00:17:28,154
and I just okay. That's the way it

481
00:17:28,154 --> 00:17:29,914
is. Well, I mean, that was the way

482
00:17:29,914 --> 00:17:31,835
it was to me for me too. And,

483
00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:33,054
you know, we've talked

484
00:17:33,434 --> 00:17:35,434
in previous episodes about how the way we

485
00:17:35,434 --> 00:17:35,934
handle,

486
00:17:36,409 --> 00:17:39,049
you know, our individual sex lives and our

487
00:17:39,049 --> 00:17:40,349
sex life as a couple,

488
00:17:42,169 --> 00:17:43,069
doesn't cause

489
00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:45,369
guilt. Like, I don't I don't like it.

490
00:17:45,369 --> 00:17:47,130
I want to be sexually close to you,

491
00:17:47,130 --> 00:17:49,244
but if if the mind and body just

492
00:17:49,244 --> 00:17:49,744
can't,

493
00:17:50,045 --> 00:17:51,884
I don't walk around feeling bad about it

494
00:17:51,884 --> 00:17:54,125
either. We talk it out. He's got what

495
00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:56,445
he has to do, what he wants to

496
00:17:56,445 --> 00:17:56,945
do.

497
00:17:57,325 --> 00:18:00,305
I'm not necessarily required for that. And then,

498
00:18:00,525 --> 00:18:01,184
you know,

499
00:18:01,724 --> 00:18:03,480
I could just be miserable and sexless,

500
00:18:04,819 --> 00:18:05,400
in peace.

501
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:08,200
But

502
00:18:09,299 --> 00:18:11,140
part of it is, you know, on the

503
00:18:11,140 --> 00:18:12,679
on the sex side. Right?

504
00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,015
We had

505
00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:17,634
I have been on this sort of journey

506
00:18:17,634 --> 00:18:18,615
to get my hormones,

507
00:18:18,994 --> 00:18:19,494
like,

508
00:18:20,035 --> 00:18:20,535
regulated.

509
00:18:20,914 --> 00:18:21,414
Mhmm.

510
00:18:22,194 --> 00:18:22,694
And

511
00:18:23,554 --> 00:18:26,194
I think we finally mostly gotten to the

512
00:18:26,194 --> 00:18:28,294
right dosage level and the

513
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,240
the desire for sex has come back is

514
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,240
coming back. Now the other thing that was

515
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:34,840
happening at about the same time as, you

516
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,660
know, the holidays,

517
00:18:36,279 --> 00:18:38,039
at the end of last year, was some

518
00:18:38,039 --> 00:18:40,519
life stressors were starting to calm the fuck

519
00:18:40,519 --> 00:18:41,820
down. Yeah. And

520
00:18:42,404 --> 00:18:44,565
regardless of what's going on with your physical

521
00:18:44,565 --> 00:18:48,164
body, stress will can kill the desire for

522
00:18:48,164 --> 00:18:50,404
sex. A good libido. Yes. You can. For

523
00:18:50,404 --> 00:18:52,965
many people, not all people, but enough of

524
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:53,465
us.

525
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,179
And so that was helping as well. But

526
00:18:56,179 --> 00:18:58,440
the thing I noticed more than anything

527
00:18:59,220 --> 00:18:59,720
was

528
00:19:00,419 --> 00:19:02,019
the willingness to talk about it. And I

529
00:19:02,019 --> 00:19:03,299
don't mean from you. You're always the one

530
00:19:03,299 --> 00:19:04,500
to talk about it if I wanna talk

531
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:05,159
about it.

532
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:08,704
I don't talk about sex with you very

533
00:19:08,704 --> 00:19:09,845
often. No.

534
00:19:10,224 --> 00:19:12,005
And then we had a couple of, like,

535
00:19:12,144 --> 00:19:14,625
crazy mornings. We are now morning sex people

536
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:15,605
for the most part.

537
00:19:16,544 --> 00:19:18,384
And you were doing some things I liked.

538
00:19:18,384 --> 00:19:19,820
You were doing some things that I was

539
00:19:19,820 --> 00:19:22,140
like, oh, I can feel myself responding to

540
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:24,320
this. Mhmm. And for once,

541
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:27,340
I just, like, I just told you. I

542
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:30,559
went, hey. If you do this thing first,

543
00:19:30,619 --> 00:19:32,000
you're gonna get a better

544
00:19:32,914 --> 00:19:35,255
response than if you do that thing.

545
00:19:35,794 --> 00:19:36,294
And

546
00:19:36,755 --> 00:19:37,255
that,

547
00:19:37,714 --> 00:19:39,315
one, it worked. We've had a couple of

548
00:19:39,315 --> 00:19:41,714
follow-up conversations because we are creatures of habit,

549
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,974
and so JV has been getting me primed

550
00:19:44,034 --> 00:19:45,095
for a good digging

551
00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:47,154
for many years now. And so he has

552
00:19:47,154 --> 00:19:48,539
his go to's. And so I've had to

553
00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:50,140
come back and go Yeah. I know what

554
00:19:50,140 --> 00:19:51,740
you're doing here, but remember remember what we

555
00:19:51,740 --> 00:19:53,419
talked about? Yeah. I had some I I

556
00:19:53,419 --> 00:19:55,339
still need that little Yeah. Because it's not

557
00:19:55,339 --> 00:19:56,319
habit yet. Right.

558
00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:59,179
But it was more profound to me that

559
00:19:59,179 --> 00:20:00,619
not only could I just speak up and

560
00:20:00,619 --> 00:20:03,200
go, hey. Mhmm. Look. If you want to

561
00:20:03,605 --> 00:20:04,105
get

562
00:20:04,484 --> 00:20:06,184
me locked and fucking loaded,

563
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:09,605
pull my fucking hair. Actually, what I said

564
00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:12,984
was dominate me. Have power. Have control. Yeah.

565
00:20:13,285 --> 00:20:15,765
Back in the day when everything was loosey

566
00:20:15,765 --> 00:20:18,339
goosey and juicy, you just had to look

567
00:20:18,339 --> 00:20:20,579
at my clit sideways, and I was ready

568
00:20:20,579 --> 00:20:21,240
to go.

569
00:20:21,619 --> 00:20:23,320
These days, I need

570
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,660
I need more than physical. I need an

571
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:29,480
emotional mental thing Yeah. Before

572
00:20:29,805 --> 00:20:31,644
the like, the the head's gotta be into

573
00:20:31,644 --> 00:20:33,345
it before the body's gonna follow. So

574
00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,505
in talking about that, in talking about,

575
00:20:37,805 --> 00:20:39,345
hey. I need more

576
00:20:39,965 --> 00:20:41,825
physical control from you

577
00:20:43,019 --> 00:20:44,860
as part of our sex life. It is

578
00:20:45,019 --> 00:20:47,099
even just the foreplay part of our sex

579
00:20:47,099 --> 00:20:49,740
life, the Yeah. Getting getting us ready for

580
00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:50,720
the sex part.

581
00:20:51,259 --> 00:20:52,240
That led into

582
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:56,000
conversations about our power exchange Yes. That were

583
00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:57,775
needed. Mhmm.

584
00:20:58,654 --> 00:21:00,035
What we've we

585
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:02,654
we have had over the past few years.

586
00:21:02,654 --> 00:21:04,494
We've had conversations here and there about our

587
00:21:04,494 --> 00:21:05,474
power exchange. Correct.

588
00:21:05,934 --> 00:21:08,194
But never really with the intention

589
00:21:08,494 --> 00:21:10,674
of doing anything, just sort of the acknowledgment

590
00:21:11,214 --> 00:21:11,460
of,

591
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,339
yeah, this this part of life is kind

592
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:17,059
of sucking right now. And we would love

593
00:21:17,059 --> 00:21:19,059
to have something different, but, you know, we

594
00:21:19,059 --> 00:21:20,500
would mutually kind of say in our own

595
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:21,159
way and

596
00:21:21,619 --> 00:21:23,539
that we just didn't have the energy or

597
00:21:23,539 --> 00:21:25,605
the time or the will. We would just

598
00:21:25,605 --> 00:21:27,384
keep things going on

599
00:21:27,845 --> 00:21:29,945
the routine that we have. Right.

600
00:21:30,404 --> 00:21:31,384
Because when

601
00:21:32,484 --> 00:21:35,125
when everything else goes to shit, sometimes it's

602
00:21:35,125 --> 00:21:35,625
those,

603
00:21:36,085 --> 00:21:38,565
you know, in the background routines that'll That

604
00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,505
hold you together. Right. Mhmm.

605
00:21:41,039 --> 00:21:41,539
So,

606
00:21:43,519 --> 00:21:46,180
that's where this all stems from.

607
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:48,799
The first part I wanted to because it

608
00:21:48,799 --> 00:21:50,320
was a conversation we had over the past

609
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:51,220
couple weeks Yeah.

610
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,340
Was about,

611
00:21:53,519 --> 00:21:55,565
the concept of were a word for the

612
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:56,464
year or words

613
00:21:56,765 --> 00:21:58,684
of for the year. I never can just

614
00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:00,525
have one word of a year. That's that's

615
00:22:00,525 --> 00:22:03,325
not enough. No one single word encompasses all

616
00:22:03,325 --> 00:22:05,244
my thoughts. So we sat down and talked

617
00:22:05,244 --> 00:22:06,304
about this in

618
00:22:06,684 --> 00:22:09,904
relation to our power exchange. Right. What

619
00:22:10,639 --> 00:22:13,359
are your what is your word are your

620
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:13,859
words?

621
00:22:14,559 --> 00:22:15,940
A word. Okay.

622
00:22:17,599 --> 00:22:18,339
My word

623
00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:20,099
is mindfulness.

624
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,220
Mhmm.

625
00:22:21,599 --> 00:22:22,099
Okay?

626
00:22:23,039 --> 00:22:25,139
For too long now, I've been in a

627
00:22:25,705 --> 00:22:26,205
reactive

628
00:22:27,225 --> 00:22:27,725
mode,

629
00:22:29,065 --> 00:22:30,445
and I need to

630
00:22:32,105 --> 00:22:33,725
get out of that. Mhmm.

631
00:22:34,664 --> 00:22:35,884
Now what how

632
00:22:36,585 --> 00:22:38,765
what do you mean by that? Reactive

633
00:22:39,865 --> 00:22:41,730
as it pertains to our power exchange. Mhmm.

634
00:22:41,730 --> 00:22:43,569
Reactive in what way and what does it

635
00:22:43,569 --> 00:22:45,250
mean to get out of that for you?

636
00:22:45,250 --> 00:22:47,589
Well, not so much that it

637
00:22:48,690 --> 00:22:49,190
and

638
00:22:49,970 --> 00:22:51,970
let me clarify here. What I'm talking about

639
00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:52,950
is not directly

640
00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:55,265
related to our power exchange,

641
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,424
but it is

642
00:22:58,365 --> 00:23:00,605
how these outside things affected

643
00:23:00,924 --> 00:23:02,305
Mhmm. Our power exchange.

644
00:23:02,765 --> 00:23:04,065
So, you know, when

645
00:23:05,325 --> 00:23:07,484
when I I say mindfulness and and the

646
00:23:07,484 --> 00:23:09,700
fact that, you know, I felt feel like

647
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:11,159
I have been on unreactive,

648
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,579
mode. It's just because of everything that has

649
00:23:16,579 --> 00:23:17,299
been happening

650
00:23:17,619 --> 00:23:20,200
Right. You have in in our lives. Mhmm.

651
00:23:20,339 --> 00:23:20,839
And,

652
00:23:23,065 --> 00:23:25,644
you know, between that, between the finances, between

653
00:23:25,865 --> 00:23:27,225
a number of other things that we were

654
00:23:27,225 --> 00:23:27,965
going through,

655
00:23:28,345 --> 00:23:29,965
it it just seemed like constantly

656
00:23:30,505 --> 00:23:32,424
running to put out fires. Right. There was

657
00:23:32,424 --> 00:23:34,184
no time to just sit and think, to

658
00:23:34,184 --> 00:23:35,890
plan. Right. You tried to plan. That was

659
00:23:35,970 --> 00:23:37,890
Yeah. You you stomp out one fire and

660
00:23:38,049 --> 00:23:39,809
Right. You know, another one's going over there,

661
00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:40,769
and you go to that, and then the

662
00:23:40,769 --> 00:23:42,369
other one started backed up in addition to

663
00:23:42,369 --> 00:23:44,210
another one. Right. So, you know, round and

664
00:23:44,210 --> 00:23:45,109
round we go.

665
00:23:48,284 --> 00:23:49,825
You know, I I will be

666
00:23:50,605 --> 00:23:52,125
I'm not honest with you, with all of

667
00:23:52,125 --> 00:23:52,625
y'all,

668
00:23:54,365 --> 00:23:54,865
2024

669
00:23:55,244 --> 00:23:56,144
sucked for me.

670
00:23:57,964 --> 00:24:00,365
Mhmm. And yet, in a way, it was

671
00:24:00,365 --> 00:24:02,284
the best thing that happened because I needed

672
00:24:02,284 --> 00:24:02,784
it.

673
00:24:03,279 --> 00:24:03,779
I

674
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,180
I feel like last year I hit bottom.

675
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:09,460
Mhmm.

676
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:10,740
I

677
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,180
tanked my

678
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,940
mental health, my ability to

679
00:24:18,184 --> 00:24:18,845
keep on

680
00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:22,605
shouldering things and yeah. It it all just,

681
00:24:24,265 --> 00:24:25,484
came to an

682
00:24:26,105 --> 00:24:26,605
end

683
00:24:27,305 --> 00:24:28,765
in not a good way.

684
00:24:29,224 --> 00:24:31,464
Knowing what you and I know, that's for

685
00:24:31,464 --> 00:24:33,244
our personal stuff. Do you

686
00:24:33,589 --> 00:24:36,630
feel like you're pulling yourself out of that

687
00:24:36,630 --> 00:24:38,950
now or that you woke up one day

688
00:24:38,950 --> 00:24:40,630
and you just are on a higher step

689
00:24:40,630 --> 00:24:43,190
of the ladder? Like, is it a physical,

690
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,509
like, I'm I'm actively pulling myself out of

691
00:24:45,509 --> 00:24:47,289
this now? Does feel that way. Gotcha.

692
00:24:47,670 --> 00:24:50,024
It it's like a physical thing step by

693
00:24:50,024 --> 00:24:50,764
step. Mhmm. Mhmm.

694
00:24:53,731 --> 00:24:54,231
But

695
00:24:55,384 --> 00:24:58,184
yeah. In in, you know, in in some

696
00:24:58,184 --> 00:24:58,684
ways,

697
00:24:59,944 --> 00:25:01,244
I'm kinda glad

698
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,279
it happened because now there's only one way

699
00:25:04,279 --> 00:25:04,940
to go,

700
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,559
so to speak. You know? Yeah. This is

701
00:25:07,559 --> 00:25:09,019
the first time in

702
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,400
4 years that I would agree with that

703
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,660
without putting the caveat of, well,

704
00:25:14,519 --> 00:25:16,840
you never know. This yeah. This is the

705
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,494
first time I'm like, yes. I I feel

706
00:25:18,494 --> 00:25:18,994
like

707
00:25:19,295 --> 00:25:20,275
where we were.

708
00:25:20,734 --> 00:25:22,894
So even in the 1st 8 days of

709
00:25:22,894 --> 00:25:24,595
the year, yes. Yeah. It's a

710
00:25:25,455 --> 00:25:26,095
it'll be,

711
00:25:26,734 --> 00:25:29,970
a squiggly loopy loop line, but it's a

712
00:25:30,049 --> 00:25:30,789
the progression

713
00:25:31,089 --> 00:25:33,509
is momentum is upward. Right. Mhmm.

714
00:25:33,890 --> 00:25:36,849
You know, so, you know, for me yeah.

715
00:25:36,849 --> 00:25:38,710
I I wanna practice more

716
00:25:39,169 --> 00:25:39,909
more mindfulness.

717
00:25:40,210 --> 00:25:40,710
Be

718
00:25:41,490 --> 00:25:43,429
more aware of things. Mhmm.

719
00:25:43,890 --> 00:25:44,390
Okay.

720
00:25:45,224 --> 00:25:47,144
And specific to power exchange, what are you

721
00:25:47,144 --> 00:25:48,045
what are you thinking?

722
00:25:49,865 --> 00:25:50,924
In addition to

723
00:25:51,305 --> 00:25:53,384
the power exchange, I would say for me

724
00:25:53,384 --> 00:25:55,244
right now just to be more

725
00:25:55,865 --> 00:25:56,845
be more there.

726
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,160
That's what I mean. It as it pertains

727
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:00,839
to our power exchange, what does that look

728
00:26:00,839 --> 00:26:02,119
like? What does that look like?

729
00:26:02,919 --> 00:26:03,980
Well, you know,

730
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,679
like, you know, I started making sure you

731
00:26:08,679 --> 00:26:09,339
get your

732
00:26:10,244 --> 00:26:12,325
collar on every day. Yeah. We y'all, we

733
00:26:12,404 --> 00:26:14,184
it had gotten so bad. There were Wednesdays.

734
00:26:14,484 --> 00:26:16,724
We were on camera, and I wasn't wearing

735
00:26:16,724 --> 00:26:18,085
a collar, and both of us were like,

736
00:26:18,085 --> 00:26:19,704
whew, whatever. Yeah.

737
00:26:20,884 --> 00:26:23,125
You know. No. We didn't like that. You

738
00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,984
know, so I I've been making

739
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:26,580
more of

740
00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,539
a, you know, been doing that more regularly

741
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,600
now. Mhmm. And that's a feedback loop because

742
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,200
once you started, I went, oh, this is

743
00:26:33,279 --> 00:26:34,880
we never had a conversation about it. Yep.

744
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,240
I went, oh, this is important to him.

745
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:39,200
So then if you forgot, I reminded but

746
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,820
here's what I'll tell you from a submissive,

747
00:26:41,174 --> 00:26:43,195
from my own personal submissive perspective.

748
00:26:43,894 --> 00:26:45,735
I like it when you remember it and

749
00:26:45,735 --> 00:26:47,355
you bring it to me and you're like,

750
00:26:47,575 --> 00:26:49,835
I am putting this on you. Right.

751
00:26:50,215 --> 00:26:50,715
Okay.

752
00:26:51,174 --> 00:26:54,055
Yep. I I I can tell. There's I

753
00:26:54,055 --> 00:26:54,555
I

754
00:26:54,934 --> 00:26:57,769
we don't really use terms like ownership in

755
00:26:57,769 --> 00:26:59,869
our power exchange, but there is this

756
00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:03,289
feeling of, like, I am his and he

757
00:27:03,289 --> 00:27:05,470
is putting on the thing

758
00:27:06,009 --> 00:27:06,509
that,

759
00:27:07,609 --> 00:27:09,214
shows that to the whole world.

760
00:27:09,914 --> 00:27:12,154
Podcast listeners, you cannot see this, but JB

761
00:27:12,154 --> 00:27:14,554
just had to run off camera out the

762
00:27:14,554 --> 00:27:16,414
back door because Lola

763
00:27:16,795 --> 00:27:19,535
was crying like she thought she'd been abandoned,

764
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,599
on the other side of the house, she

765
00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:24,119
wasn't at the door trying to come in.

766
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:24,619
No.

767
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:26,039
So yeah. The

768
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:27,980
hi, Lola.

769
00:27:29,559 --> 00:27:32,059
The focusing on my collar again,

770
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,400
that was that was immediately noticeable. And I

771
00:27:35,559 --> 00:27:37,855
yeah. I am I am happy too if

772
00:27:37,855 --> 00:27:39,454
if you're like, hey. I'm telling you as

773
00:27:39,454 --> 00:27:41,134
your big d. Make sure you've got your

774
00:27:41,134 --> 00:27:42,494
collar on because that's how it used to

775
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:43,394
be for us.

776
00:27:43,775 --> 00:27:45,055
And I will if that's what you want.

777
00:27:45,055 --> 00:27:47,295
But I do like the fact that you

778
00:27:47,295 --> 00:27:49,474
are thinking about it, and you are remembering,

779
00:27:49,559 --> 00:27:51,720
you're looking at me going, she's not wearing

780
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,680
my fucking collar. That's not okay. Like, I

781
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:56,059
I like that. Mhmm.

782
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:57,420
Alright.

783
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:00,200
And and I'm sorry for you saw that

784
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,240
look. That was because Lola was winding in

785
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,315
between the legs of the tripod.

786
00:28:06,575 --> 00:28:07,075
Yeah.

787
00:28:07,454 --> 00:28:09,075
She hadn't changed a bit y'all.

788
00:28:10,255 --> 00:28:11,855
Gotta love her. We got a little update

789
00:28:11,855 --> 00:28:13,774
in the bonus section though. Yeah. Okay. So

790
00:28:13,855 --> 00:28:14,914
okay. So

791
00:28:16,255 --> 00:28:16,755
intention,

792
00:28:17,519 --> 00:28:19,359
click my collar. Okay. So what else does

793
00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:20,259
that look like?

794
00:28:20,799 --> 00:28:21,840
The other thing that,

795
00:28:24,799 --> 00:28:26,340
I I I like,

796
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:28,820
is

797
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,320
our nighttime ritual

798
00:28:31,174 --> 00:28:32,375
Okay. Which has gotten

799
00:28:34,294 --> 00:28:36,134
You you are more involved in it. That's

800
00:28:36,134 --> 00:28:39,095
for sure. Yes. Here's the low was if

801
00:28:39,095 --> 00:28:41,095
I was lucky, I got about 30 seconds

802
00:28:41,095 --> 00:28:43,188
of a blow rub. You know, I'm a

803
00:28:43,188 --> 00:28:43,296
creature of habit and routine. So having the

804
00:28:43,296 --> 00:28:43,404
routine of here are the things I'm supposed

805
00:28:43,404 --> 00:28:44,210
to do for creature

806
00:28:44,909 --> 00:28:47,149
of habit and routine. So having the routine

807
00:28:47,149 --> 00:28:47,629
of here are the things I'm supposed to

808
00:28:47,629 --> 00:28:49,390
do for our nighttime routine until he unless

809
00:28:49,390 --> 00:28:50,690
he had said stop doing

810
00:28:52,429 --> 00:28:54,509
that, I wouldn't have liked it. But if

811
00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:56,909
and as long as he allowed me to

812
00:28:56,909 --> 00:28:58,509
do it, I was still doing it. But

813
00:28:58,509 --> 00:28:59,325
his part

814
00:28:59,884 --> 00:29:01,024
required less,

815
00:29:01,884 --> 00:29:03,404
in terms of make sure you've done this,

816
00:29:03,404 --> 00:29:04,684
make sure you've done that. Like, I did

817
00:29:04,684 --> 00:29:06,684
all that. And then he was, like, the

818
00:29:06,684 --> 00:29:07,184
final

819
00:29:07,884 --> 00:29:09,724
decider of, okay, now get into bed, go

820
00:29:09,724 --> 00:29:12,444
to sleep. And at your lowest point, if

821
00:29:12,444 --> 00:29:14,779
I got, like, half a butt rub

822
00:29:15,079 --> 00:29:17,240
Mhmm. You know, and and I never took

823
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,240
it. Sometimes it was like just a tap

824
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,919
tap, you know? Oh, yeah. And I never

825
00:29:20,919 --> 00:29:22,599
took it personally. I knew it wasn't about

826
00:29:22,599 --> 00:29:24,460
me. Mhmm. But, yeah,

827
00:29:25,559 --> 00:29:26,845
it's not not the best feeling in the

828
00:29:26,845 --> 00:29:29,644
world. And, yes, I have been able to

829
00:29:29,644 --> 00:29:31,484
tell the difference there. And and, you know,

830
00:29:31,484 --> 00:29:33,484
yeah, even even for me, I I did

831
00:29:33,484 --> 00:29:36,365
not really care for it. Mhmm. Because, you

832
00:29:36,365 --> 00:29:38,250
know, I I knew, you know, this this

833
00:29:38,329 --> 00:29:40,170
is not how it's Right. You knew what

834
00:29:40,170 --> 00:29:42,170
we used to be like Right. And how

835
00:29:42,170 --> 00:29:43,789
it used to be. Yes. Mhmm.

836
00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:47,130
So, you know, there was that. But, yeah,

837
00:29:47,130 --> 00:29:48,349
that that has definitely

838
00:29:49,369 --> 00:29:50,990
changed. Mhmm. And

839
00:29:52,525 --> 00:29:54,205
a few nights now you've gone to bed

840
00:29:54,205 --> 00:29:56,765
with your ass warmed. I know. My bathroom

841
00:29:56,765 --> 00:29:58,625
is cold. My butt is hot

842
00:29:59,404 --> 00:30:01,505
as it should be. There you go. Okay.

843
00:30:01,565 --> 00:30:02,765
There you go. Yeah. You've,

844
00:30:03,965 --> 00:30:04,705
your your

845
00:30:05,109 --> 00:30:06,409
sadistic side has

846
00:30:07,829 --> 00:30:08,569
been more

847
00:30:09,190 --> 00:30:11,109
it's been closer to the surface. Mhmm.

848
00:30:11,990 --> 00:30:13,589
And I both love that and hate that

849
00:30:13,589 --> 00:30:15,909
at the same time. Yeah. You can't imagine

850
00:30:15,909 --> 00:30:16,970
why. Right. Right.

851
00:30:17,389 --> 00:30:17,889
Right.

852
00:30:19,349 --> 00:30:20,309
I've also noticed

853
00:30:20,794 --> 00:30:22,474
and so we're talking about what's going on

854
00:30:22,474 --> 00:30:24,335
now at the very beginning of 2025

855
00:30:24,634 --> 00:30:26,154
with the hopes that one, if we pay

856
00:30:26,154 --> 00:30:28,234
attention to it and acknowledge it Mhmm. And

857
00:30:28,234 --> 00:30:31,275
nurture it, it will continue on Right. In

858
00:30:31,275 --> 00:30:31,934
the future.

859
00:30:32,794 --> 00:30:33,534
I have

860
00:30:34,234 --> 00:30:34,734
noticed,

861
00:30:35,730 --> 00:30:36,950
that you are quicker

862
00:30:37,490 --> 00:30:38,789
to at least threaten

863
00:30:39,890 --> 00:30:41,589
some level of, I would call it, funishment

864
00:30:41,650 --> 00:30:42,470
more than anything,

865
00:30:43,089 --> 00:30:43,589
when,

866
00:30:44,210 --> 00:30:46,390
my mouth gets carried away with me.

867
00:30:46,769 --> 00:30:50,309
Yes. Yes. And again, I both like that

868
00:30:50,434 --> 00:30:52,054
and I'm scared of it.

869
00:30:53,554 --> 00:30:55,714
So I kinda gotten used to if he

870
00:30:55,714 --> 00:30:57,554
thought I was being funny, he'd laugh with

871
00:30:57,554 --> 00:30:58,054
me.

872
00:30:58,355 --> 00:31:00,755
But any sort of air quote threat, you

873
00:31:00,755 --> 00:31:02,294
know, a consensual threat,

874
00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:05,289
didn't pack a lot of heat.

875
00:31:05,670 --> 00:31:08,650
The other day, I do not remember

876
00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:11,110
what I said or what we were talking

877
00:31:11,110 --> 00:31:14,490
about, but you did your classic from

878
00:31:15,734 --> 00:31:17,654
many years ago, it feels like. There's a

879
00:31:17,654 --> 00:31:19,035
way you say, oh?

880
00:31:19,414 --> 00:31:21,015
Are you sure that's what you wanna say?

881
00:31:21,015 --> 00:31:22,474
You wanna rethink that?

882
00:31:23,414 --> 00:31:25,835
You will rethink all of your life choices

883
00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:27,835
when he says it in

884
00:31:28,214 --> 00:31:30,079
that the tone he uses for that. I

885
00:31:30,079 --> 00:31:31,759
can't do it. I'm not built that way.

886
00:31:31,759 --> 00:31:33,680
I'm not I'm not a big d. And

887
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,720
I'm I'm not even gonna try to recreate

888
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,279
it because it's one of those things that

889
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,119
In the moment. Yeah. It it works in

890
00:31:39,119 --> 00:31:39,700
the moment.

891
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:41,619
And so far,

892
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:42,980
that has been

893
00:31:43,545 --> 00:31:46,125
the best part of this Mhmm. Is that

894
00:31:47,865 --> 00:31:49,945
it's felt org I mean, yes. You're being

895
00:31:49,945 --> 00:31:51,785
mindful and you're you're thinking about it and

896
00:31:51,785 --> 00:31:53,384
that makes a big difference, but it has

897
00:31:53,384 --> 00:31:55,465
also felt organic. We've just kind of been

898
00:31:55,465 --> 00:31:56,365
in a moment

899
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:57,420
and,

900
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:01,000
you know, I even at all my worst

901
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,400
days, I'm still a sassy fucking bitch. Okay?

902
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,580
So I never stop being sassy,

903
00:32:06,039 --> 00:32:07,339
but I,

904
00:32:08,119 --> 00:32:10,345
the way I respond to him is based

905
00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:12,365
on how he responds to me. And previously,

906
00:32:13,464 --> 00:32:15,464
you know, maybe a chuckle, maybe a this.

907
00:32:15,464 --> 00:32:17,625
Every once in a while, like, you know,

908
00:32:17,625 --> 00:32:20,044
the old JB, like, peek his head through.

909
00:32:20,585 --> 00:32:21,085
But

910
00:32:21,544 --> 00:32:22,365
even since

911
00:32:22,984 --> 00:32:25,039
right at the end of 2024, 4, it's

912
00:32:25,039 --> 00:32:25,539
been

913
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:27,140
a response

914
00:32:27,519 --> 00:32:28,000
and an,

915
00:32:29,279 --> 00:32:31,859
that I recognize. And so then my response

916
00:32:31,919 --> 00:32:32,660
to you

917
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,279
changes and shifts, and now there's

918
00:32:36,734 --> 00:32:38,974
I mean, I I think I think, you've

919
00:32:38,974 --> 00:32:40,894
just done it to yourself if you say

920
00:32:40,894 --> 00:32:43,535
that I'm sassier than ever. I I think

921
00:32:43,535 --> 00:32:45,615
we know whose fault that is, and it's

922
00:32:45,615 --> 00:32:46,355
not mine.

923
00:32:46,815 --> 00:32:48,779
Because now I'm responding to the

924
00:32:49,660 --> 00:32:51,599
putting out there, which has been

925
00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:53,820
a lot of fun as well. And the

926
00:32:53,820 --> 00:32:55,500
thing I've noticed, and I think this comes

927
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:56,559
into play with mindfulness,

928
00:32:57,740 --> 00:32:59,740
in the fun moments, it's easy to to

929
00:32:59,740 --> 00:33:02,460
respond to his dominant energy and his daddy

930
00:33:02,460 --> 00:33:04,825
energy and his sadist energy. But But that

931
00:33:04,825 --> 00:33:07,625
actually has translated over into the quieter moments.

932
00:33:07,625 --> 00:33:08,525
I have gotten

933
00:33:08,985 --> 00:33:11,225
so one of the things we do that's

934
00:33:11,225 --> 00:33:13,144
sort of a subtle power exchange thing that

935
00:33:13,144 --> 00:33:14,744
can happen anywhere. So when we get in

936
00:33:14,744 --> 00:33:16,585
the car, my job is to ask, does

937
00:33:16,585 --> 00:33:18,230
he want a sunglasses? Not in the middle

938
00:33:18,230 --> 00:33:19,990
of the night. I use my fucking brain.

939
00:33:19,990 --> 00:33:22,069
Is is the big ball of fire in

940
00:33:22,069 --> 00:33:22,809
the sky?

941
00:33:23,429 --> 00:33:25,029
My job is to ask him, does he

942
00:33:25,029 --> 00:33:26,549
want his sunglasses? And if he does, I

943
00:33:26,549 --> 00:33:27,929
get them out for him. Right?

944
00:33:28,309 --> 00:33:28,809
And

945
00:33:29,509 --> 00:33:31,769
that was a thing that was happening

946
00:33:32,434 --> 00:33:33,815
chaotically and haphazardly

947
00:33:34,115 --> 00:33:34,934
at best.

948
00:33:35,394 --> 00:33:36,295
But just

949
00:33:36,914 --> 00:33:39,974
having these other moments of our power exchange

950
00:33:40,035 --> 00:33:42,515
kinda come back into play. Mhmm. I'm a

951
00:33:42,515 --> 00:33:45,869
little bit, like, locked into that mindset. So

952
00:33:45,869 --> 00:33:47,390
we get in the car and I'm like,

953
00:33:47,390 --> 00:33:47,890
hey,

954
00:33:48,670 --> 00:33:50,690
ball of fire in sky. Sunglasses,

955
00:33:51,230 --> 00:33:54,190
maybe? You know, it's actually happening without me

956
00:33:54,190 --> 00:33:55,789
doing a lot of, oh, fuck. I'm sorry.

957
00:33:55,789 --> 00:33:56,769
I forgot again.

958
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,330
And I like I like that.

959
00:33:59,710 --> 00:34:00,575
I like that.

960
00:34:01,034 --> 00:34:01,534
Yep.

961
00:34:02,315 --> 00:34:02,634
So

962
00:34:03,434 --> 00:34:05,534
So mindfulness is your word? Yes.

963
00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:07,534
I have multiple words. So

964
00:34:07,994 --> 00:34:09,275
what else would you like to say about

965
00:34:09,275 --> 00:34:10,074
mindfulness? That's,

966
00:34:10,954 --> 00:34:12,894
that's good for me for the moment. Okay.

967
00:34:13,190 --> 00:34:14,329
So What's yours?

968
00:34:14,950 --> 00:34:16,890
The one that I'm definitely sticking with

969
00:34:17,349 --> 00:34:19,670
goes hand in hand. You said mindfulness and

970
00:34:19,670 --> 00:34:21,289
my brain went intentional.

971
00:34:22,309 --> 00:34:22,809
Because

972
00:34:23,190 --> 00:34:24,890
for the past several years,

973
00:34:25,430 --> 00:34:28,444
our power exchange has just been on autoplay.

974
00:34:29,065 --> 00:34:31,065
Right. It's just the stuff that we turned

975
00:34:31,065 --> 00:34:32,444
into habits and routines

976
00:34:32,744 --> 00:34:35,065
that we just always do as part of

977
00:34:35,065 --> 00:34:36,364
our day to day interactions.

978
00:34:36,824 --> 00:34:38,424
And that, to me, is a good thing

979
00:34:38,424 --> 00:34:40,639
to have for those times of life where

980
00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:43,619
you don't have energy or time or whatever

981
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:44,819
for anything else.

982
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,359
It is what allowed me to feel like

983
00:34:47,359 --> 00:34:49,760
you're submissive all this time through some of

984
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,139
the worship we've been through.

985
00:34:53,405 --> 00:34:56,304
That being said, just because it allowed that

986
00:34:59,005 --> 00:35:01,804
sense of power exchange and that sort of

987
00:35:01,804 --> 00:35:03,804
recognition of, yeah. Yeah. We're we're it's still

988
00:35:03,804 --> 00:35:05,804
a dynamic, and and we still think of

989
00:35:05,804 --> 00:35:07,500
our life this way and our relationship this

990
00:35:07,659 --> 00:35:09,900
way, does not mean we were functioning at,

991
00:35:09,900 --> 00:35:10,719
like, peak

992
00:35:11,260 --> 00:35:13,340
power exchange. Like, it wasn't like, that wasn't

993
00:35:13,340 --> 00:35:14,800
how I wanted to live forever.

994
00:35:15,179 --> 00:35:16,559
It was just I understood

995
00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:18,960
this is what would work for now.

996
00:35:19,514 --> 00:35:20,255
So now

997
00:35:20,635 --> 00:35:22,474
you're being mindful, and I'm over here being

998
00:35:22,474 --> 00:35:25,275
intentional, because now I'm intent I'm I'm thinking

999
00:35:25,275 --> 00:35:25,775
about

1000
00:35:26,554 --> 00:35:27,534
beyond just

1001
00:35:27,835 --> 00:35:30,315
the the habits, beyond just the stuff you

1002
00:35:30,315 --> 00:35:32,474
do by rote that you are are not

1003
00:35:32,474 --> 00:35:35,000
even consciously thinking about. And

1004
00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:36,199
so I'm

1005
00:35:37,139 --> 00:35:39,300
very aware if my collar is on or

1006
00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:40,820
not. Just in the past few days, it

1007
00:35:40,820 --> 00:35:42,579
has not taken a long time. The part

1008
00:35:42,579 --> 00:35:43,780
of it, I think, is because these are

1009
00:35:43,780 --> 00:35:45,539
not new habits to get into. These are

1010
00:35:45,539 --> 00:35:47,559
things we were doing, and they fell off,

1011
00:35:47,780 --> 00:35:49,465
and now we're getting back into them.

1012
00:35:51,525 --> 00:35:52,425
Bedtime routine.

1013
00:35:52,724 --> 00:35:53,224
Mhmm.

1014
00:35:53,684 --> 00:35:55,385
I'll probably never be

1015
00:35:55,684 --> 00:35:58,644
fully intentional with some of my tone because,

1016
00:35:58,644 --> 00:36:00,324
man, if I think I might be funny,

1017
00:36:00,324 --> 00:36:01,619
I'll just let it rip.

1018
00:36:03,059 --> 00:36:04,039
But I am,

1019
00:36:05,300 --> 00:36:07,559
once again, becoming more aware

1020
00:36:07,940 --> 00:36:10,200
that, oh, what I say might have consequences.

1021
00:36:11,300 --> 00:36:13,079
And why might have consequences.

1022
00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:14,440
I'm not

1023
00:36:15,105 --> 00:36:16,244
mad about that.

1024
00:36:16,625 --> 00:36:19,045
Nervous? Yes. Mad? No.

1025
00:36:19,425 --> 00:36:21,824
So, yeah, one of one of my words

1026
00:36:21,824 --> 00:36:23,824
for the year is intentional and how that

1027
00:36:23,824 --> 00:36:26,385
relates to plans and goals for this year

1028
00:36:26,385 --> 00:36:28,065
will come up again when we get to

1029
00:36:28,065 --> 00:36:28,679
that part.

1030
00:36:30,839 --> 00:36:32,519
And then the other one, I could never

1031
00:36:32,519 --> 00:36:35,159
settle on which one. Here are the multiple

1032
00:36:35,159 --> 00:36:37,079
words, and I just need one that encompasses

1033
00:36:37,079 --> 00:36:37,980
them all. Okay.

1034
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:39,420
Renew,

1035
00:36:40,679 --> 00:36:41,179
rejuvenate,

1036
00:36:42,014 --> 00:36:42,514
refresh

1037
00:36:43,375 --> 00:36:44,594
Revitalize. Revitalize.

1038
00:36:46,815 --> 00:36:49,375
Whatever word it is I'm looking for that

1039
00:36:49,375 --> 00:36:50,835
I cannot think of right

1040
00:36:51,135 --> 00:36:52,494
now or ever. I've not thought of it

1041
00:36:52,494 --> 00:36:55,074
in a few weeks. It is that word

1042
00:36:55,340 --> 00:36:56,400
for our relationship.

1043
00:36:57,179 --> 00:36:57,679
I

1044
00:36:58,539 --> 00:37:01,820
recognize that whatever we get to and whatever

1045
00:37:01,820 --> 00:37:02,960
that next

1046
00:37:03,659 --> 00:37:05,900
part of love level is or next part

1047
00:37:05,900 --> 00:37:07,820
of the journey is or whatever, pick a

1048
00:37:07,820 --> 00:37:08,655
metaphor, any metaphor,

1049
00:37:09,775 --> 00:37:12,675
it probably will not look like it did

1050
00:37:13,454 --> 00:37:15,074
pre dumpster fire years.

1051
00:37:15,934 --> 00:37:18,094
Mm-mm. It's gonna look different because life is

1052
00:37:18,094 --> 00:37:20,094
strange for us. We're different. Stuff is stuff

1053
00:37:20,094 --> 00:37:21,775
is going on. Coming out the other side,

1054
00:37:21,775 --> 00:37:23,460
we're different. That too. Yeah.

1055
00:37:23,859 --> 00:37:25,639
But the feeling

1056
00:37:26,099 --> 00:37:27,079
is what I want.

1057
00:37:27,699 --> 00:37:29,079
Renewed, refreshed, revitalized,

1058
00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:31,719
revisited. Like, that's that's what

1059
00:37:32,019 --> 00:37:34,260
and that's the connection that we had that

1060
00:37:34,260 --> 00:37:35,639
was not 247,

1061
00:37:36,099 --> 00:37:36,599
365

1062
00:37:36,900 --> 00:37:38,085
where we the only

1063
00:37:38,644 --> 00:37:39,925
thing we ever thought about was each other

1064
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:42,005
and our dynamic. Like, that's not real life.

1065
00:37:42,005 --> 00:37:44,885
But the you know, in any given moment,

1066
00:37:44,885 --> 00:37:47,284
any given day, I could pinpoint all these

1067
00:37:47,284 --> 00:37:49,764
places where, oh, yeah. That that was me

1068
00:37:49,764 --> 00:37:51,769
being very submissive. Oh, yeah. That was his

1069
00:37:51,769 --> 00:37:54,170
sadistic daddy. Oh, yeah. Here's where we came

1070
00:37:54,170 --> 00:37:56,010
together. I just hit myself in the face.

1071
00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:57,469
Here's where we came together,

1072
00:37:57,769 --> 00:37:59,550
and it was very, you know,

1073
00:37:59,929 --> 00:38:02,429
us as dom sub. Right?

1074
00:38:03,594 --> 00:38:04,094
That

1075
00:38:04,875 --> 00:38:07,055
whatever that's gonna look like

1076
00:38:07,914 --> 00:38:08,414
2025

1077
00:38:08,875 --> 00:38:09,695
and forward,

1078
00:38:10,074 --> 00:38:11,914
I I don't quite know what that's gonna

1079
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,594
look like. We're gonna be who we are.

1080
00:38:13,594 --> 00:38:15,695
We're gonna vibe the way we've been vibing.

1081
00:38:15,755 --> 00:38:17,055
Yep. But the actual activities, may wildly

1082
00:38:19,630 --> 00:38:20,929
activities, may

1083
00:38:21,469 --> 00:38:23,809
wildly differ. I don't know.

1084
00:38:24,590 --> 00:38:26,590
That then I go back to intentional of

1085
00:38:26,590 --> 00:38:28,110
how much do we of it is that

1086
00:38:28,110 --> 00:38:29,489
something we want to intentionally

1087
00:38:29,789 --> 00:38:32,190
change. Those are not necessarily conversations we've had

1088
00:38:32,190 --> 00:38:34,155
yet. Right. And how much of it is

1089
00:38:34,155 --> 00:38:36,315
we just we we wanna get the feeling

1090
00:38:36,315 --> 00:38:39,675
back and then let things happen Organically. Right.

1091
00:38:39,675 --> 00:38:42,875
Yeah. Mhmm. So, yeah, those are Okay. Those

1092
00:38:42,875 --> 00:38:45,135
are my words. Okay. Okay.

1093
00:38:46,250 --> 00:38:46,650
So

1094
00:38:47,130 --> 00:38:48,829
Mhmm. I can talk about one

1095
00:38:49,609 --> 00:38:50,670
plan ish

1096
00:38:51,449 --> 00:38:51,949
with

1097
00:38:52,329 --> 00:38:54,109
the goal of

1098
00:38:54,489 --> 00:38:55,309
getting us

1099
00:38:56,250 --> 00:38:56,750
revitalized.

1100
00:38:57,210 --> 00:38:58,569
See, I don't know what the word is.

1101
00:38:58,569 --> 00:38:59,069
Mhmm.

1102
00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:00,994
The the the vibe of that word.

1103
00:39:01,855 --> 00:39:03,315
It's something that we're gonna do,

1104
00:39:04,014 --> 00:39:05,534
that we've already talked about. We don't have

1105
00:39:05,534 --> 00:39:07,135
a like, we don't have it scheduled, like,

1106
00:39:07,135 --> 00:39:08,494
on this week, we're gonna do this and

1107
00:39:08,494 --> 00:39:11,375
this Mhmm. No. But we have a few

1108
00:39:11,375 --> 00:39:13,855
ideas written out. We've we'll brainstorm as we

1109
00:39:13,855 --> 00:39:15,839
go on. We are going to do

1110
00:39:17,420 --> 00:39:18,480
little power exchange

1111
00:39:19,659 --> 00:39:22,539
moments that are kind of like experiments, kinda

1112
00:39:22,539 --> 00:39:24,139
like, let's just test this out and see

1113
00:39:24,139 --> 00:39:25,039
how we feel.

1114
00:39:25,579 --> 00:39:28,079
And some of those, they're gonna be topics

1115
00:39:28,219 --> 00:39:29,839
for upcoming episodes.

1116
00:39:30,644 --> 00:39:33,144
One that that I've I floated

1117
00:39:33,684 --> 00:39:35,785
in a nervous voice was

1118
00:39:36,164 --> 00:39:38,405
so I know nobody is shocked to know

1119
00:39:38,405 --> 00:39:40,405
that at any moment in time, unless I'm

1120
00:39:40,405 --> 00:39:42,425
specifically told to be quiet,

1121
00:39:42,885 --> 00:39:44,750
you know, he uses the d voice and

1122
00:39:44,750 --> 00:39:46,829
I'm be quiet and I'm quiet. I got

1123
00:39:46,829 --> 00:39:47,809
a lot to say.

1124
00:39:48,829 --> 00:39:50,210
I got a lot of questions.

1125
00:39:50,750 --> 00:39:52,050
I got a lot of thoughts.

1126
00:39:52,909 --> 00:39:54,210
It is very rare,

1127
00:39:54,750 --> 00:39:56,369
or has been anyway, for

1128
00:39:56,864 --> 00:39:58,704
me to be told to do something and

1129
00:39:58,704 --> 00:40:00,405
to just do it. There's there's

1130
00:40:01,505 --> 00:40:04,724
But but and What about are you sure?

1131
00:40:04,784 --> 00:40:06,625
Yeah. And why? And yeah. So one of

1132
00:40:06,625 --> 00:40:08,465
the ones we talked about and we if

1133
00:40:08,465 --> 00:40:09,824
it if we if it works, we might

1134
00:40:09,824 --> 00:40:11,025
do it multiple times. But one of the

1135
00:40:11,025 --> 00:40:12,329
things we talked about was having

1136
00:40:12,890 --> 00:40:15,230
a day, a weekend, a time frame

1137
00:40:16,090 --> 00:40:17,690
where we have things to do. It's not

1138
00:40:17,690 --> 00:40:19,610
just our normal routine at home where, you

1139
00:40:19,610 --> 00:40:21,849
know, but, like, we're out in public. We're

1140
00:40:21,849 --> 00:40:25,050
doing something different, whatever. And my job is

1141
00:40:25,050 --> 00:40:26,510
to fucking follow.

1142
00:40:27,375 --> 00:40:28,835
Unless what he's asking

1143
00:40:29,454 --> 00:40:31,775
is a hard limit, which oh, god. You

1144
00:40:31,775 --> 00:40:33,295
haven't asked for something that's a hard limit

1145
00:40:33,295 --> 00:40:35,394
in a literal decade. Yeah. Or

1146
00:40:35,695 --> 00:40:38,574
I genuinely do not understand what's being asked

1147
00:40:38,574 --> 00:40:39,155
of me.

1148
00:40:39,695 --> 00:40:41,474
Mhmm. We're gonna have

1149
00:40:41,869 --> 00:40:43,789
some amount of time where he tells me

1150
00:40:43,789 --> 00:40:45,150
to do a thing. I just do a

1151
00:40:45,150 --> 00:40:47,630
thing. I I part of this came from

1152
00:40:47,630 --> 00:40:49,230
the conversation we had that I have really

1153
00:40:49,230 --> 00:40:49,730
enjoyed

1154
00:40:50,349 --> 00:40:52,530
having these moments. We're in a busy

1155
00:40:53,070 --> 00:40:54,429
yeah. We're going to Sam's Club. We're in

1156
00:40:54,429 --> 00:40:56,735
a busy parking lot. And he's walking ahead

1157
00:40:56,735 --> 00:40:59,295
of me, and I realized I don't have

1158
00:40:59,295 --> 00:41:01,934
to be worried about traffic. I don't have

1159
00:41:01,934 --> 00:41:04,015
I don't have to look both ways. I

1160
00:41:04,015 --> 00:41:06,255
just have to follow my daddy because he's

1161
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:08,015
not gonna let his ass get hit. So

1162
00:41:08,015 --> 00:41:09,639
guess what? He's not gonna let my ass

1163
00:41:09,639 --> 00:41:11,800
get hit. And the few times I've just

1164
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,559
sort of played with that, he doesn't even

1165
00:41:13,559 --> 00:41:15,400
know it's fucking happening. I'm walking behind him.

1166
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:17,719
I'm in my own little head. It's I

1167
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,880
really liked it. But I'm like, okay. I'm

1168
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,400
choosing to do this and I'm making it

1169
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,440
happen without anybody controlling it. Of course, I

1170
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,114
like it. What happens?

1171
00:41:28,015 --> 00:41:30,595
Like, can Kayla just shut the fuck up

1172
00:41:30,735 --> 00:41:33,055
and do what she's told? We don't know.

1173
00:41:33,055 --> 00:41:35,055
Well, you know, just just for a quick

1174
00:41:35,055 --> 00:41:37,075
example how it goes sometimes.

1175
00:41:38,414 --> 00:41:40,675
I do not like to drive the same

1176
00:41:41,190 --> 00:41:43,269
route over and over again. And I only

1177
00:41:43,269 --> 00:41:45,190
wonder I I I like I like to

1178
00:41:45,190 --> 00:41:47,190
change it up. Go different routes. I don't

1179
00:41:47,190 --> 00:41:48,630
know how your brain works. I just don't

1180
00:41:48,630 --> 00:41:49,289
get it.

1181
00:41:49,670 --> 00:41:52,230
And when Kayla is with me and I

1182
00:41:52,230 --> 00:41:52,730
go

1183
00:41:53,605 --> 00:41:54,664
a different way,

1184
00:41:55,204 --> 00:41:56,565
what are you doing? Why are we going

1185
00:41:56,565 --> 00:41:58,644
to is something wrong? What's going on? That

1186
00:41:58,644 --> 00:42:00,985
might be whatever flavor of neurospicy

1187
00:42:01,285 --> 00:42:02,664
I am. I'm just saying.

1188
00:42:02,965 --> 00:42:05,844
But the idea of being intentional and mindful,

1189
00:42:05,844 --> 00:42:07,525
to use your word, of going, okay. I

1190
00:42:07,525 --> 00:42:08,730
don't need to ask this question.

1191
00:42:09,210 --> 00:42:11,289
He's a grown ass man who survived the

1192
00:42:11,289 --> 00:42:11,789
world

1193
00:42:12,170 --> 00:42:15,309
for 50 years before he met me. He's

1194
00:42:16,489 --> 00:42:17,230
got this.

1195
00:42:17,609 --> 00:42:20,409
I do a lot lately, especially with all

1196
00:42:20,409 --> 00:42:21,389
of this in mind.

1197
00:42:21,795 --> 00:42:23,554
I do a lot of self like, in

1198
00:42:23,554 --> 00:42:25,795
my head, you're you're driving and I'm like

1199
00:42:26,114 --> 00:42:27,875
Mhmm. Does he drive as carefully as he

1200
00:42:27,875 --> 00:42:29,394
wants to when he rode a motorcycle every

1201
00:42:29,394 --> 00:42:31,714
single day? No. No. He does not. No.

1202
00:42:31,714 --> 00:42:34,275
Okay. Also, have I become more anxious as

1203
00:42:34,275 --> 00:42:37,000
time has gone on? Yes. Yeah. But

1204
00:42:37,539 --> 00:42:38,039
also,

1205
00:42:38,579 --> 00:42:40,199
he's not a reckless driver.

1206
00:42:40,739 --> 00:42:42,500
He knows what the hell he's doing. He's

1207
00:42:42,500 --> 00:42:44,599
been driving longer than I've been alive.

1208
00:42:45,139 --> 00:42:45,639
So

1209
00:42:48,019 --> 00:42:50,359
that's me making age gaps weird.

1210
00:42:51,219 --> 00:42:51,719
Mhmm.

1211
00:42:52,055 --> 00:42:53,575
So, like, what the fuck am I worried

1212
00:42:53,575 --> 00:42:54,695
about? I know what I'm worried about. I

1213
00:42:54,695 --> 00:42:55,974
know how I kinda know how my brain

1214
00:42:55,974 --> 00:42:56,875
works, but

1215
00:42:57,655 --> 00:43:00,075
part of the for me, part of

1216
00:43:00,535 --> 00:43:03,015
the the beauty of submission is letting some

1217
00:43:03,015 --> 00:43:05,255
of that fucking go and trusting the person

1218
00:43:05,255 --> 00:43:07,449
that you've put in charge. Right? Yeah. And

1219
00:43:07,449 --> 00:43:07,949
I've

1220
00:43:08,410 --> 00:43:10,090
it might not seem it to you because

1221
00:43:10,090 --> 00:43:11,469
you you hear every

1222
00:43:12,329 --> 00:43:14,890
oh. And what see the Fred Flintstone break

1223
00:43:14,890 --> 00:43:16,269
thing happened to me

1224
00:43:16,570 --> 00:43:17,949
all the time. But

1225
00:43:18,489 --> 00:43:20,010
I would like it on record that at

1226
00:43:20,010 --> 00:43:22,135
least over the past few days, I have

1227
00:43:22,135 --> 00:43:23,515
made a concerted effort

1228
00:43:23,974 --> 00:43:25,735
to calm the fuck down. You have. I've

1229
00:43:25,735 --> 00:43:27,735
noticed that you you you're not,

1230
00:43:29,575 --> 00:43:32,535
you know, jumping in every time. Mhmm. You

1231
00:43:32,535 --> 00:43:33,035
know,

1232
00:43:33,829 --> 00:43:35,989
couple times, you know, you get Sure. Look.

1233
00:43:35,989 --> 00:43:37,829
If I if it looks egregious, and I'm

1234
00:43:37,829 --> 00:43:40,090
like, I don't think you know what's coming.

1235
00:43:40,230 --> 00:43:42,309
Right. Yeah. Yeah. You're all over it. But

1236
00:43:42,309 --> 00:43:44,949
you you have been doing better, and I'm

1237
00:43:44,949 --> 00:43:46,010
grateful for that.

1238
00:43:46,505 --> 00:43:48,105
Yeah. We're not it was not fun to

1239
00:43:48,105 --> 00:43:49,565
ride in a car with one another.

1240
00:43:50,105 --> 00:43:51,625
Because a few things, either if I was

1241
00:43:51,625 --> 00:43:53,224
trying to pay attention to the road, I

1242
00:43:53,224 --> 00:43:55,565
was on high alert and just, like, sweating.

1243
00:43:55,625 --> 00:43:57,324
I was so anxious and he was

1244
00:43:57,625 --> 00:43:58,125
aggravated.

1245
00:43:58,985 --> 00:44:01,500
Or I had my nose stuck in my

1246
00:44:01,579 --> 00:44:04,139
phone to avoid that, but then we weren't

1247
00:44:04,139 --> 00:44:06,719
talking and we weren't interacting and, you know,

1248
00:44:07,179 --> 00:44:09,260
I was getting annoyed when he interrupted me

1249
00:44:09,260 --> 00:44:11,739
reading you. Like, that that's fine every once

1250
00:44:11,739 --> 00:44:13,019
in a while, but we had gotten to

1251
00:44:13,019 --> 00:44:14,940
a point where that was our relationship if

1252
00:44:14,940 --> 00:44:16,000
we were out together.

1253
00:44:16,585 --> 00:44:18,364
I was glued to my phone.

1254
00:44:18,905 --> 00:44:19,545
He was

1255
00:44:21,224 --> 00:44:22,585
I don't know what you were doing. I

1256
00:44:22,585 --> 00:44:24,744
wasn't paying attention because I was reading my

1257
00:44:24,744 --> 00:44:26,684
book on my phone. Driving my car alone.

1258
00:44:28,105 --> 00:44:29,760
I don't know. I don't know about

1259
00:44:30,059 --> 00:44:30,559
that.

1260
00:44:31,500 --> 00:44:32,000
So

1261
00:44:34,300 --> 00:44:34,800
so,

1262
00:44:35,180 --> 00:44:36,240
you know,

1263
00:44:36,619 --> 00:44:37,360
of course,

1264
00:44:38,380 --> 00:44:41,505
in an ideal world, one partner would not

1265
00:44:41,664 --> 00:44:43,264
annoy the shit out of the other about

1266
00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:45,824
their driving. Like, yeah. But I like like,

1267
00:44:45,824 --> 00:44:48,404
I find it easier to do hard things,

1268
00:44:48,545 --> 00:44:50,625
sometimes through with the help of and through

1269
00:44:50,625 --> 00:44:52,164
the lens of power exchange.

1270
00:44:52,464 --> 00:44:53,984
I can do a whole hell of a

1271
00:44:53,984 --> 00:44:54,724
lot more

1272
00:44:55,110 --> 00:44:56,090
that I find uncomfortable

1273
00:44:56,869 --> 00:44:59,030
when I'm thinking about how I don't have

1274
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:00,090
to be in control

1275
00:45:01,110 --> 00:45:03,190
than when I'm worried I do need to

1276
00:45:03,190 --> 00:45:04,630
be in control. You know what I mean?

1277
00:45:04,630 --> 00:45:06,150
Or I do need to be aware or

1278
00:45:06,390 --> 00:45:09,210
and let's be let's be frank here.

1279
00:45:10,825 --> 00:45:12,825
Over the past few years, as your mental

1280
00:45:12,825 --> 00:45:14,364
health tanked, as your

1281
00:45:15,065 --> 00:45:17,405
as you hit your your bottom, right,

1282
00:45:18,985 --> 00:45:20,905
I had to take charge of more stuff.

1283
00:45:20,905 --> 00:45:24,045
You did. Now I was doing it through

1284
00:45:24,344 --> 00:45:26,309
this idea of being of service

1285
00:45:26,609 --> 00:45:29,029
both to you and to our wife,

1286
00:45:29,489 --> 00:45:29,989
but

1287
00:45:30,449 --> 00:45:32,130
I've had my fingers on a lot of

1288
00:45:32,130 --> 00:45:34,130
damn pots You did. That for a few

1289
00:45:34,130 --> 00:45:35,809
years you did not have. Like, early in

1290
00:45:35,809 --> 00:45:37,909
our us moving in together, you did not.

1291
00:45:38,210 --> 00:45:38,710
And

1292
00:45:39,489 --> 00:45:40,150
I know

1293
00:45:40,449 --> 00:45:42,005
that that means going forward,

1294
00:45:43,505 --> 00:45:45,684
it'll probably be difficult at times to

1295
00:45:46,065 --> 00:45:47,984
let go of that control. Control away from

1296
00:45:47,984 --> 00:45:50,065
you. We did the episode on control issues.

1297
00:45:50,065 --> 00:45:52,625
I got them. Yep. But on some levels,

1298
00:45:52,625 --> 00:45:55,280
I'm like, dang it here. Have it back.

1299
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,940
I don't want it anymore. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1300
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:00,420
So Yeah.

1301
00:46:01,039 --> 00:46:03,460
You know, I so those kinds of things,

1302
00:46:04,239 --> 00:46:04,739
intentional,

1303
00:46:05,295 --> 00:46:05,795
mindful,

1304
00:46:07,775 --> 00:46:09,954
moving forward. Purposeful. Purposeful.

1305
00:46:10,335 --> 00:46:12,014
There you know, what are ways that we

1306
00:46:12,014 --> 00:46:14,734
can reconnect in our power exchange and do

1307
00:46:14,734 --> 00:46:16,194
it sometimes, like,

1308
00:46:16,815 --> 00:46:19,380
genuinely, intentionally, like, we plan a thing, like,

1309
00:46:19,380 --> 00:46:21,000
the the thing I was talking about.

1310
00:46:21,380 --> 00:46:23,139
We have we've been asked for years to

1311
00:46:23,139 --> 00:46:25,219
try a few kink apps, not the dating

1312
00:46:25,219 --> 00:46:26,900
ones, but, like, obedience and stuff like that.

1313
00:46:26,900 --> 00:46:28,659
Mhmm. What we actually have a list now.

1314
00:46:28,659 --> 00:46:31,319
There's, like, 3 Yeah. That we know of

1315
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:34,984
that are specific, supposedly specific to kinky relationships.

1316
00:46:35,284 --> 00:46:37,364
Well, we're gonna spend some time testing those

1317
00:46:37,364 --> 00:46:38,565
out, and so we can come back and

1318
00:46:38,565 --> 00:46:40,244
talk to y'all about what we think about

1319
00:46:40,244 --> 00:46:42,565
these apps. But, also, how does it allow

1320
00:46:42,565 --> 00:46:44,804
us to reconnect in our power exchange? What

1321
00:46:44,804 --> 00:46:46,860
does it do for our power exchange?

1322
00:46:48,059 --> 00:46:50,460
I believe at some point on the list

1323
00:46:50,460 --> 00:46:52,000
of ideas is to

1324
00:46:52,460 --> 00:46:54,300
rehash what we want our power exchange to

1325
00:46:54,300 --> 00:46:56,059
look like. Right. You know, the things that

1326
00:46:56,059 --> 00:46:58,079
I've been doing since 2014,

1327
00:46:58,539 --> 00:47:00,074
do I am I Should I still be

1328
00:47:00,074 --> 00:47:02,715
doing them? Right? The things you do have

1329
00:47:02,715 --> 00:47:05,034
control of, is that what you still are

1330
00:47:05,034 --> 00:47:06,795
there things you would prefer to have control

1331
00:47:06,795 --> 00:47:08,795
over that you don't like, stuff like that.

1332
00:47:08,795 --> 00:47:09,295
Yeah.

1333
00:47:09,594 --> 00:47:10,094
So

1334
00:47:10,635 --> 00:47:12,414
that is, you know, our

1335
00:47:13,010 --> 00:47:14,309
thinking right now

1336
00:47:14,929 --> 00:47:16,309
on how we will

1337
00:47:17,489 --> 00:47:19,889
handle our power exchange and hopefully get it

1338
00:47:19,889 --> 00:47:20,389
to

1339
00:47:21,650 --> 00:47:24,690
whatever it's gonna be that we think is

1340
00:47:24,690 --> 00:47:26,925
better than it is now. Right? We're better

1341
00:47:26,925 --> 00:47:28,445
than it has been. Because right now, it's

1342
00:47:28,445 --> 00:47:29,985
feeling pretty fucking good.

1343
00:47:30,365 --> 00:47:30,925
I've been

1344
00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:34,045
to the extent that I am capable of,

1345
00:47:34,045 --> 00:47:35,664
I've been fairly relaxed,

1346
00:47:36,045 --> 00:47:36,625
you know,

1347
00:47:37,244 --> 00:47:39,239
in in some things over the past few

1348
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:40,619
weeks as we've just

1349
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,679
taken some time to just breathe and to

1350
00:47:44,679 --> 00:47:47,000
just be. I and I think that that

1351
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:48,840
was that has been a big thing for

1352
00:47:48,840 --> 00:47:50,139
us because we,

1353
00:47:51,159 --> 00:47:53,000
you know, yeah, we we took some time

1354
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:53,659
to breathe.

1355
00:47:56,945 --> 00:47:57,445
We

1356
00:47:57,825 --> 00:47:59,125
touched some grass.

1357
00:47:59,425 --> 00:48:00,325
Yeah. That

1358
00:48:00,785 --> 00:48:02,885
really helped y'all. That really did help.

1359
00:48:03,345 --> 00:48:05,765
You know, we we we did things

1360
00:48:06,769 --> 00:48:08,150
unrelated to home

1361
00:48:08,690 --> 00:48:10,070
and work. Mhmm.

1362
00:48:10,449 --> 00:48:10,949
K?

1363
00:48:11,329 --> 00:48:13,349
We've discovered we both enjoy

1364
00:48:13,650 --> 00:48:14,150
thrifting.

1365
00:48:15,010 --> 00:48:17,010
Yeah. I still kind of have to have

1366
00:48:17,010 --> 00:48:18,929
a goal in mind. Purpose. Yeah. Yeah. There

1367
00:48:19,010 --> 00:48:20,449
I'm but I need to be looking for

1368
00:48:20,449 --> 00:48:21,829
something. Mhmm. But,

1369
00:48:22,655 --> 00:48:24,175
yeah, I'm still not sure how I feel

1370
00:48:24,175 --> 00:48:27,795
about antiquing though, which it's just Yeah.

1371
00:48:29,375 --> 00:48:30,755
But I did though. Yeah.

1372
00:48:31,054 --> 00:48:32,414
I I liked it too. And I did

1373
00:48:32,414 --> 00:48:34,494
find something. So See for me, I I

1374
00:48:34,494 --> 00:48:36,275
like the the surprise finds.

1375
00:48:38,070 --> 00:48:38,570
No.

1376
00:48:38,869 --> 00:48:39,369
I'm

1377
00:48:39,989 --> 00:48:41,670
the best time I had at thrifting, I

1378
00:48:41,670 --> 00:48:43,590
went in with a goal. I wanted a

1379
00:48:43,590 --> 00:48:44,489
certain size,

1380
00:48:45,590 --> 00:48:47,989
mason jar. Mason jar? Mason jar. Right? Bell

1381
00:48:47,989 --> 00:48:50,230
jar. Yeah. Not the little, not the giant,

1382
00:48:50,230 --> 00:48:52,175
like that middle size. Right?

1383
00:48:52,635 --> 00:48:54,555
And I I knew from experience, I knew

1384
00:48:54,555 --> 00:48:56,875
from things people have said, those those sizes

1385
00:48:56,875 --> 00:48:58,555
are hard to find. They get snatched up

1386
00:48:58,555 --> 00:49:00,474
really quickly. One day of thrifting, I found

1387
00:49:00,474 --> 00:49:02,095
5 at 3 different places.

1388
00:49:02,555 --> 00:49:04,010
Bought every fucking fucking

1389
00:49:04,710 --> 00:49:05,210
one

1390
00:49:06,150 --> 00:49:06,739
I found. That's why you can never find

1391
00:49:06,739 --> 00:49:07,139
them when you'll go thrifting, because people like

1392
00:49:07,139 --> 00:49:08,730
me come in, we buy them all. Yeah.

1393
00:49:09,030 --> 00:49:10,630
And that was fun. I was like, oh,

1394
00:49:10,630 --> 00:49:12,389
there's the dopamine hit. We can do this

1395
00:49:12,389 --> 00:49:13,289
work. Right.

1396
00:49:14,030 --> 00:49:14,530
Of

1397
00:49:15,269 --> 00:49:17,429
course, then I had, we had a thrifting

1398
00:49:17,429 --> 00:49:18,409
experience where

1399
00:49:19,315 --> 00:49:19,815
everybody

1400
00:49:20,114 --> 00:49:22,275
had blinders on, and so they forgot that

1401
00:49:22,275 --> 00:49:25,554
people exist beyond their personal space and were

1402
00:49:25,554 --> 00:49:27,875
just awful. And I was like, somebody get

1403
00:49:27,875 --> 00:49:29,715
me out of here. Can I be on

1404
00:49:29,715 --> 00:49:32,054
a deserted island by myself right now?

1405
00:49:32,515 --> 00:49:33,735
But yeah. I mean,

1406
00:49:34,380 --> 00:49:34,880
exploring

1407
00:49:35,179 --> 00:49:37,420
new ish things. Oh, this has nothing to

1408
00:49:37,420 --> 00:49:38,539
do with what we were just talking about,

1409
00:49:38,539 --> 00:49:40,299
but I I felt the back of my

1410
00:49:40,299 --> 00:49:40,799
neck.

1411
00:49:41,500 --> 00:49:43,579
My brain jumped to that was a dominant

1412
00:49:43,579 --> 00:49:44,559
thing he did.

1413
00:49:45,260 --> 00:49:47,565
Okay. Podcast listeners, you cannot see this, My

1414
00:49:47,565 --> 00:49:49,425
hair is slowly, slowly, slowly

1415
00:49:50,284 --> 00:49:51,724
being long enough I can pull it back

1416
00:49:51,724 --> 00:49:52,464
in a ponytail.

1417
00:49:53,405 --> 00:49:55,405
I'm in that very awkward phase of growing

1418
00:49:55,405 --> 00:49:57,484
up my hair. Also, I have not been

1419
00:49:57,484 --> 00:49:59,644
willing or been able to spend money on

1420
00:49:59,644 --> 00:50:01,710
haircut. Like, I'm just whatever. Right?

1421
00:50:02,269 --> 00:50:03,469
But now I'm able to pull it back

1422
00:50:03,469 --> 00:50:05,630
in a ponytail. And if you're a person

1423
00:50:05,630 --> 00:50:07,550
who's ever gone from short to longer hair,

1424
00:50:07,550 --> 00:50:10,190
you know, the growing part is awkward, especially

1425
00:50:10,190 --> 00:50:12,269
like back of your neck, maybe something that

1426
00:50:12,269 --> 00:50:13,789
used to be like shaved down a little

1427
00:50:13,789 --> 00:50:14,114
bit.

1428
00:50:15,394 --> 00:50:17,175
Pull my hair up. I didn't even realize

1429
00:50:17,235 --> 00:50:19,014
it. The other day, I pull it back

1430
00:50:19,074 --> 00:50:21,255
and back of my neck must have looked

1431
00:50:21,474 --> 00:50:21,974
rough.

1432
00:50:22,835 --> 00:50:25,394
Because JB, knowing what he is allowed to

1433
00:50:25,394 --> 00:50:27,394
do with me and to me, said

1434
00:50:28,039 --> 00:50:28,940
told me today,

1435
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:30,760
when we were we had to go run

1436
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:32,679
errands this morning. He goes, when we get

1437
00:50:32,679 --> 00:50:33,179
home,

1438
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:35,099
meet me in the garage.

1439
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:37,639
I'll I'm bringing my clippers. And I went,

1440
00:50:37,639 --> 00:50:38,859
what the fuck? What?

1441
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:40,460
He had decided.

1442
00:50:43,079 --> 00:50:43,905
Whatever crazy

1443
00:50:44,385 --> 00:50:45,905
outgrowth is happening on the back of my

1444
00:50:45,905 --> 00:50:48,465
neck, that shit had to go. He told

1445
00:50:48,465 --> 00:50:50,704
me he said, I could not let you

1446
00:50:50,704 --> 00:50:53,265
go out looking crazy again. I we had

1447
00:50:53,265 --> 00:50:55,765
to fix it. And I'm over here going,

1448
00:50:56,385 --> 00:50:56,443
that is the sweetest but kind of meanest

1449
00:50:56,443 --> 00:50:57,045
thing I've heard. And you

1450
00:50:58,829 --> 00:51:01,469
sweetest but kind of meanest thing I've heard?

1451
00:51:01,469 --> 00:51:03,150
And you just took charge and made it

1452
00:51:03,150 --> 00:51:05,569
happen. Oh, my gosh. I love this.

1453
00:51:07,069 --> 00:51:08,690
JV of 6 months ago

1454
00:51:09,150 --> 00:51:10,844
would have said might have said something.

1455
00:51:11,244 --> 00:51:13,405
But then would have would have said remind

1456
00:51:13,405 --> 00:51:15,244
me. Maybe I'll do that if you tell

1457
00:51:15,244 --> 00:51:15,744
me.

1458
00:51:16,125 --> 00:51:17,184
JB at 2025

1459
00:51:17,724 --> 00:51:20,304
went, we're fixing that shit today. You look

1460
00:51:20,605 --> 00:51:22,284
you look crazy. I can't let I can't

1461
00:51:22,284 --> 00:51:23,965
let you go out like that. I I

1462
00:51:23,965 --> 00:51:25,425
looked at it as,

1463
00:51:26,829 --> 00:51:28,769
you know, the same way that hopefully

1464
00:51:29,869 --> 00:51:32,269
you wouldn't let me Right. Go out if

1465
00:51:32,269 --> 00:51:34,109
I had, like, toilet paper hanging off my

1466
00:51:34,190 --> 00:51:35,730
you know, somewhere or, you know,

1467
00:51:36,190 --> 00:51:36,690
something.

1468
00:51:37,869 --> 00:51:40,109
So Yeah. No. And and I wouldn't. And

1469
00:51:40,109 --> 00:51:42,215
I wouldn't. I think for me, it's refreshing

1470
00:51:42,215 --> 00:51:42,715
because

1471
00:51:43,815 --> 00:51:44,315
you

1472
00:51:44,614 --> 00:51:46,934
saw it. Did something like, it was it

1473
00:51:46,934 --> 00:51:50,074
was dom energy, but it wasn't strict stern

1474
00:51:50,135 --> 00:51:51,914
dom energy. It was, like, it was

1475
00:51:52,215 --> 00:51:54,155
nurturing caregiver dom energy.

1476
00:51:54,614 --> 00:51:56,239
And I cannot tell you the last time

1477
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,960
I felt that directed at me with high

1478
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:00,800
beams on. Like, you directed it at me,

1479
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:01,619
but not

1480
00:52:02,719 --> 00:52:04,420
Yeah. Not with an intensity,

1481
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:05,859
you know. Yeah.

1482
00:52:06,159 --> 00:52:08,319
So Well, you know, that that's all part

1483
00:52:08,319 --> 00:52:08,819
of,

1484
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:10,659
you know,

1485
00:52:11,385 --> 00:52:13,465
wanting to be more mindful of the things

1486
00:52:13,465 --> 00:52:15,864
that I'm doing Mhmm. In regards to our

1487
00:52:15,864 --> 00:52:19,244
power exchange. Yeah. Everything really, but power exchange.

1488
00:52:19,625 --> 00:52:21,864
Right. As it relates to conversations like this,

1489
00:52:21,864 --> 00:52:24,204
power exchange. And just our relationship in general.

1490
00:52:24,265 --> 00:52:26,364
Mhmm. Because our relationship

1491
00:52:27,210 --> 00:52:28,889
could we can we be together without the

1492
00:52:28,889 --> 00:52:31,609
power exchange? Yes. Mhmm. But who we are

1493
00:52:31,609 --> 00:52:33,469
as we understand ourselves today,

1494
00:52:34,250 --> 00:52:35,150
the power exchange

1495
00:52:36,250 --> 00:52:38,489
is, like, a necessary layer. Mhmm. It is

1496
00:52:38,489 --> 00:52:39,954
the peanut butter in the peanut butter and

1497
00:52:39,954 --> 00:52:42,214
jelly sandwich. Okay? You can't have

1498
00:52:42,675 --> 00:52:45,255
it, us, this, without that. Yeah.

1499
00:52:45,714 --> 00:52:47,714
If we had to undo life to not

1500
00:52:47,714 --> 00:52:49,714
have the power exchange, well, now it's gonna

1501
00:52:49,714 --> 00:52:52,089
probably be a turkey sandwich on rye. It's

1502
00:52:52,089 --> 00:52:54,429
a whole completely different thing.

1503
00:52:55,050 --> 00:52:56,030
All new ingredients.

1504
00:52:59,130 --> 00:53:02,329
I am killing it at a figurative language

1505
00:53:02,329 --> 00:53:03,309
today, I'm sure.

1506
00:53:04,089 --> 00:53:04,589
So

1507
00:53:04,889 --> 00:53:06,924
I actually don't think I do. So but

1508
00:53:06,924 --> 00:53:08,385
I'll ask you. Do you have

1509
00:53:08,924 --> 00:53:11,184
any goals, things that you want to

1510
00:53:11,724 --> 00:53:12,224
accomplish,

1511
00:53:13,085 --> 00:53:16,204
whether it's in 2025 or just future with

1512
00:53:16,204 --> 00:53:17,585
regards to our power exchange?

1513
00:53:21,039 --> 00:53:22,739
I would like to see us

1514
00:53:24,319 --> 00:53:24,819
maybe

1515
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:28,819
kind of break some boundaries

1516
00:53:29,119 --> 00:53:29,619
or

1517
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:30,420
or

1518
00:53:33,199 --> 00:53:35,039
or not break boundaries in in in a

1519
00:53:35,039 --> 00:53:35,445
bad way.

1520
00:53:36,324 --> 00:53:36,805
Mhmm.

1521
00:53:37,125 --> 00:53:40,085
You know, but Stretch boundaries? Stretch them. Tries

1522
00:53:40,164 --> 00:53:42,965
try different things. Maybe soft limits can go

1523
00:53:42,965 --> 00:53:43,864
to Yeah.

1524
00:53:44,485 --> 00:53:46,164
On the table Right. No limits kind of

1525
00:53:46,164 --> 00:53:46,985
thing? Yeah.

1526
00:53:48,730 --> 00:53:49,230
Okay.

1527
00:53:51,849 --> 00:53:53,769
Look. The most submissive thing I know how

1528
00:53:53,769 --> 00:53:54,750
to do is to go,

1529
00:53:55,610 --> 00:53:56,110
okay.

1530
00:54:00,410 --> 00:54:04,034
Minimal effort. Maximal anxiety, but minimal effort. Yeah.

1531
00:54:04,574 --> 00:54:07,295
Now I I'm I'm saying this because I

1532
00:54:07,295 --> 00:54:09,614
believe it kinda goes hand in hand a

1533
00:54:09,614 --> 00:54:10,275
little bit,

1534
00:54:11,215 --> 00:54:12,034
but after

1535
00:54:12,894 --> 00:54:14,355
our our break where,

1536
00:54:14,735 --> 00:54:16,599
you know, we actually took time to be

1537
00:54:16,599 --> 00:54:18,199
with each other and and and, you know,

1538
00:54:18,199 --> 00:54:19,579
go out and do some things.

1539
00:54:20,839 --> 00:54:23,099
Have sex, lots of sex, all my kinky.

1540
00:54:23,159 --> 00:54:23,900
That too.

1541
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:26,859
But no. I I realized that

1542
00:54:28,215 --> 00:54:29,894
neither one of us I mean, even even

1543
00:54:29,894 --> 00:54:31,655
when I was going to munches, though, I

1544
00:54:31,655 --> 00:54:32,934
mean, yeah, I was getting out of the

1545
00:54:32,934 --> 00:54:33,434
house,

1546
00:54:33,735 --> 00:54:34,235
but

1547
00:54:34,695 --> 00:54:36,394
you and I were not doing

1548
00:54:36,934 --> 00:54:37,434
things

1549
00:54:39,494 --> 00:54:42,599
outside of this. Right. Not together. Yeah. Yeah.

1550
00:54:42,599 --> 00:54:44,539
Mhmm. And, you know,

1551
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:46,059
I I think that

1552
00:54:47,079 --> 00:54:48,780
all goes hand in hand

1553
00:54:49,319 --> 00:54:51,400
with the relationship, with the power change, with

1554
00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:53,339
which every everything that we are.

1555
00:54:53,835 --> 00:54:56,074
And I think we need to have a

1556
00:54:56,074 --> 00:54:58,554
little bit more of that time Yes. I

1557
00:54:58,554 --> 00:55:00,635
think away. And and that is something that

1558
00:55:00,635 --> 00:55:01,835
I definitely want to

1559
00:55:02,635 --> 00:55:04,474
I think that we are now finally back

1560
00:55:04,474 --> 00:55:04,925
at a point where we might have the

1561
00:55:04,925 --> 00:55:05,005
luxury to do that. True. True. Because for

1562
00:55:05,005 --> 00:55:05,855
a while, it was a

1563
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:09,679
luxury to do that. True. True. Because for

1564
00:55:09,679 --> 00:55:10,960
a while, it was it was not an

1565
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:12,719
option to try to do that. And then

1566
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:15,199
slowly, we've gotten creative. We found new ways

1567
00:55:15,199 --> 00:55:16,880
of doing things, but we we and that

1568
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:18,900
is becoming more of an option. Correct.

1569
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:21,795
I this was true before dumpster

1570
00:55:23,795 --> 00:55:25,635
it continues to be true. It's probably just

1571
00:55:25,635 --> 00:55:26,775
even more solidified

1572
00:55:27,074 --> 00:55:29,014
into into my DNA.

1573
00:55:29,875 --> 00:55:30,934
I do better

1574
00:55:31,315 --> 00:55:32,375
doing things

1575
00:55:33,474 --> 00:55:34,440
when I'm with you.

1576
00:55:35,559 --> 00:55:38,440
You are my emotional support human Yep. And

1577
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:40,780
my emotional support daddy. So,

1578
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:43,880
I'm still not great with big crowds. I'm

1579
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:45,819
still not good with social stuff, but

1580
00:55:46,535 --> 00:55:48,614
to get out of the house, like, they're

1581
00:55:48,695 --> 00:55:50,375
for a while, we had a time where

1582
00:55:50,375 --> 00:55:52,295
I didn't even hardly felt like I could

1583
00:55:52,295 --> 00:55:54,155
leave. There was just some shit going on.

1584
00:55:54,695 --> 00:55:56,155
And now we're not that's,

1585
00:55:56,535 --> 00:55:57,835
that's old

1586
00:55:58,375 --> 00:56:00,840
stuff now. Yeah. Right. Now it's things have

1587
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:02,920
changed and things are better. Mhmm. I still

1588
00:56:02,920 --> 00:56:05,079
don't wanna go too damn many places. But

1589
00:56:05,079 --> 00:56:07,239
if I'm going anywhere, I'm only going with

1590
00:56:07,239 --> 00:56:10,300
you. You know? Pretty much. Yeah. Pretty much.

1591
00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:14,425
Beyond the, like, being a mom and taking

1592
00:56:14,425 --> 00:56:15,944
your kid to an appointment, like, not that

1593
00:56:15,944 --> 00:56:18,105
kind of shit. But, like, you wanna go

1594
00:56:18,105 --> 00:56:20,045
to a store? You wanna go

1595
00:56:20,344 --> 00:56:20,844
to

1596
00:56:21,224 --> 00:56:22,204
this or that?

1597
00:56:22,984 --> 00:56:25,304
I need my emotional support, daddy dom. I'm

1598
00:56:25,304 --> 00:56:25,804
sorry.

1599
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:30,039
And, yeah, I I feel like we're at

1600
00:56:30,039 --> 00:56:32,359
a point, not just that we can do

1601
00:56:32,359 --> 00:56:35,000
those things, but that we want to. Because

1602
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,079
I'm fairly certain there were points over the

1603
00:56:37,079 --> 00:56:39,159
past few years we could have. Mhmm. We

1604
00:56:39,159 --> 00:56:41,500
just did not have the energy to even

1605
00:56:41,744 --> 00:56:43,184
think about what we could go do, what

1606
00:56:43,184 --> 00:56:44,704
we might wanna do, how we wanna get

1607
00:56:44,704 --> 00:56:47,425
it done. Now with some of the pressure

1608
00:56:47,425 --> 00:56:49,825
and stress, it hasn't gone away completely, but

1609
00:56:49,825 --> 00:56:52,465
it's lifted. Lessened. Right. Yes. Like, that's just

1610
00:56:52,465 --> 00:56:54,385
cleared up space in my brain to actually

1611
00:56:54,385 --> 00:56:56,965
think thoughts again and think creatively

1612
00:56:57,780 --> 00:56:59,539
again. To think, oh, here's a way we

1613
00:56:59,539 --> 00:57:01,460
could do this that we don't normally do

1614
00:57:01,460 --> 00:57:03,780
it. Whereas before, I felt so weighed down.

1615
00:57:03,780 --> 00:57:05,219
I mean, I was just like, I could

1616
00:57:05,219 --> 00:57:06,119
barely see,

1617
00:57:06,820 --> 00:57:08,260
you know, a few inches in front of

1618
00:57:08,260 --> 00:57:09,940
my face to just do what I'd been

1619
00:57:09,940 --> 00:57:10,440
doing.

1620
00:57:10,875 --> 00:57:12,894
And that makes a big difference. You know?

1621
00:57:13,434 --> 00:57:15,695
For anybody else who who might be,

1622
00:57:16,715 --> 00:57:17,295
you know,

1623
00:57:17,994 --> 00:57:18,655
who might

1624
00:57:19,675 --> 00:57:22,414
be sort of resonating with the dumpster fire

1625
00:57:22,954 --> 00:57:24,894
life for a few years thing,

1626
00:57:25,195 --> 00:57:25,934
you know,

1627
00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:30,440
You're not doing power exchange wrong or kink

1628
00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:31,739
wrong if you can't,

1629
00:57:32,119 --> 00:57:33,260
you know, think of

1630
00:57:33,719 --> 00:57:35,559
amazing new things you wanna do with a

1631
00:57:35,559 --> 00:57:38,140
partner or change your entire power exchange.

1632
00:57:38,474 --> 00:57:38,974
We

1633
00:57:40,075 --> 00:57:40,815
2021 through

1634
00:57:41,595 --> 00:57:42,095
2024

1635
00:57:43,355 --> 00:57:45,914
were some rough fucking years. Okay? And I'm

1636
00:57:45,914 --> 00:57:47,355
not saying they won't be rough in the

1637
00:57:47,355 --> 00:57:48,894
future. We're currently

1638
00:57:49,275 --> 00:57:50,255
in this space

1639
00:57:50,555 --> 00:57:53,230
where it is way less rough. Yeah. And

1640
00:57:53,230 --> 00:57:55,869
we have hope again. Mhmm. And so now

1641
00:57:55,869 --> 00:57:58,030
we can do things we just did not

1642
00:57:58,030 --> 00:58:00,110
have the energy for before. We were just

1643
00:58:00,110 --> 00:58:00,610
surviving

1644
00:58:00,910 --> 00:58:01,730
Yeah. Before.

1645
00:58:02,110 --> 00:58:02,610
And

1646
00:58:03,309 --> 00:58:03,809
the

1647
00:58:04,684 --> 00:58:07,565
the thing that helped our power exchange survive

1648
00:58:07,565 --> 00:58:09,724
it was the fact that we had put

1649
00:58:09,724 --> 00:58:11,184
routines in place

1650
00:58:11,644 --> 00:58:13,804
that could go on autopilot, that did not

1651
00:58:13,804 --> 00:58:15,184
require a lot of

1652
00:58:15,965 --> 00:58:19,059
Effort or Right. Or, you know, deep thoughts.

1653
00:58:19,059 --> 00:58:21,699
Exactly. It did mean that our power exchange

1654
00:58:21,699 --> 00:58:24,359
stagnated. Like, it just stayed in place like

1655
00:58:24,579 --> 00:58:26,739
a bug in amber. Yeah. Yes. It was

1656
00:58:26,739 --> 00:58:29,059
just Yeah. It was just stuck there. It

1657
00:58:29,059 --> 00:58:31,219
couldn't get better. It couldn't didn't get worse.

1658
00:58:31,219 --> 00:58:32,864
Thank god. And now,

1659
00:58:34,125 --> 00:58:36,605
heavens have opened. Angel choir is singing. I

1660
00:58:36,605 --> 00:58:37,885
don't even know. Whatever. But you know what

1661
00:58:37,885 --> 00:58:38,785
I mean? Like, it's

1662
00:58:39,325 --> 00:58:41,325
it's a brand new day, and there's hope

1663
00:58:41,325 --> 00:58:42,864
again. There's optimism again.

1664
00:58:44,380 --> 00:58:46,059
My thing to anybody else who might be

1665
00:58:46,059 --> 00:58:48,239
going through something that feels similar

1666
00:58:48,699 --> 00:58:51,039
is that it won't always be this way.

1667
00:58:51,260 --> 00:58:53,500
It'll when it gets, air quote, better, it'll

1668
00:58:53,500 --> 00:58:55,019
probably be a new and different life that

1669
00:58:55,019 --> 00:58:57,675
you won't even recognize anymore because that can

1670
00:58:57,675 --> 00:58:59,135
happen too. But whatever

1671
00:58:59,515 --> 00:59:02,155
shit and awful hard thing you're going through

1672
00:59:02,155 --> 00:59:02,655
now,

1673
00:59:03,434 --> 00:59:05,535
the feeling you have and the hard thing,

1674
00:59:06,315 --> 00:59:08,155
they don't last forever. They can last a

1675
00:59:08,155 --> 00:59:09,295
long fucking time.

1676
00:59:09,670 --> 00:59:11,690
They can last a long time. I got

1677
00:59:11,829 --> 00:59:13,429
all of it my feelings when I came

1678
00:59:13,429 --> 00:59:14,250
across somebody

1679
00:59:14,789 --> 00:59:16,550
online who, like, does a lot of stuff

1680
00:59:16,550 --> 00:59:18,469
online. Like, I think she's a comedian too,

1681
00:59:18,469 --> 00:59:20,550
but she shares her life through her videos

1682
00:59:20,550 --> 00:59:22,070
or whatever. And she was like, yeah. We've

1683
00:59:22,070 --> 00:59:23,929
been in a decade long

1684
00:59:24,315 --> 00:59:26,394
everything sucks period. And I was like, it

1685
00:59:26,394 --> 00:59:27,614
can last a decade.

1686
00:59:28,554 --> 00:59:30,074
Oh. It can last a decade. It can

1687
00:59:30,074 --> 00:59:32,335
last longer, but it never lasts forever. Yeah.

1688
00:59:33,675 --> 00:59:35,755
And so I will gift you some of

1689
00:59:35,755 --> 00:59:36,815
my eternal optimism

1690
00:59:37,434 --> 00:59:38,974
if you don't have any for yourself.

1691
00:59:39,969 --> 00:59:42,050
But yeah. Let if your power exchange needs

1692
00:59:42,050 --> 00:59:43,570
to go on autopilot for a while, that's

1693
00:59:43,570 --> 00:59:45,329
okay. That's okay. You're not failing at Power

1694
00:59:45,329 --> 00:59:45,829
Exchange.

1695
00:59:46,130 --> 00:59:47,829
But once you start seeing,

1696
00:59:48,690 --> 00:59:49,910
signs of hope again,

1697
00:59:50,769 --> 00:59:52,945
this kind of conversation and the conversations we

1698
00:59:52,945 --> 00:59:54,945
have privately, that's the thing I would recommend

1699
00:59:54,945 --> 00:59:57,585
for anybody is let let's get intentional about

1700
00:59:57,585 --> 00:59:59,284
shit. Let's talk about how you've been feeling.

1701
00:59:59,344 --> 01:00:01,585
6 months ago, I could not have probably

1702
01:00:01,585 --> 01:00:02,484
told JB,

1703
01:00:02,945 --> 01:00:05,200
hey. If you wanna turn me on, pull

1704
01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:06,739
my fucking hair, man.

1705
01:00:07,119 --> 01:00:08,559
Okay? I didn't say it like that the

1706
01:00:08,559 --> 01:00:10,079
first time, but he he knew the energy

1707
01:00:10,079 --> 01:00:12,239
I was bringing to that. I could've maybe

1708
01:00:12,239 --> 01:00:14,420
told him, but he'd have gone,

1709
01:00:15,280 --> 01:00:15,644
okay.

1710
01:00:17,244 --> 01:00:19,324
Right? Like that. And then ultimately, what that

1711
01:00:19,324 --> 01:00:20,605
would have done is probably made me feel

1712
01:00:20,605 --> 01:00:22,204
awful, because I'd have been like, well, I

1713
01:00:22,204 --> 01:00:23,644
told him. I did the the hard thing

1714
01:00:23,644 --> 01:00:25,885
we we tell everybody you gotta do. But

1715
01:00:25,885 --> 01:00:27,324
he wouldn't have been he wasn't in a

1716
01:00:27,324 --> 01:00:29,905
place to for that to mean as much

1717
01:00:29,965 --> 01:00:30,784
as it did

1718
01:00:31,289 --> 01:00:33,390
later Mhmm. When we started

1719
01:00:33,849 --> 01:00:35,849
at the same time in our own ways

1720
01:00:36,090 --> 01:00:36,590
Right.

1721
01:00:37,289 --> 01:00:39,369
Focusing on our power exchange again because we

1722
01:00:39,369 --> 01:00:39,929
could. Because it's

1723
01:00:41,130 --> 01:00:43,464
sometimes it's a fucking luxury to be able

1724
01:00:43,464 --> 01:00:45,304
to do stuff like that. Sometimes you're in

1725
01:00:45,304 --> 01:00:48,264
survival mode. Sometimes you're just in every other

1726
01:00:48,264 --> 01:00:49,864
part of life is on fire right now,

1727
01:00:49,864 --> 01:00:51,324
and I have to focus on that.

1728
01:00:51,944 --> 01:00:52,684
And then

1729
01:00:53,625 --> 01:00:54,605
sometimes you

1730
01:00:54,984 --> 01:00:56,730
you get to take the time to focus

1731
01:00:56,809 --> 01:00:58,489
on your fucking self and in the relationship

1732
01:00:58,489 --> 01:01:00,170
that you want and make the changes that

1733
01:01:00,170 --> 01:01:01,150
you need to make.

1734
01:01:01,929 --> 01:01:03,530
The reason we could do this now though

1735
01:01:03,530 --> 01:01:04,670
is we've never

1736
01:01:05,289 --> 01:01:07,130
not been open and honest with each other

1737
01:01:07,130 --> 01:01:08,269
about where we were

1738
01:01:08,650 --> 01:01:10,030
mentally, you know, emotionally.

1739
01:01:10,784 --> 01:01:13,505
And we've had all the opportunities over all

1740
01:01:13,505 --> 01:01:15,424
these years to talk about what we wish

1741
01:01:15,424 --> 01:01:17,585
we had, what what we recognize about our

1742
01:01:17,585 --> 01:01:19,664
own power exchange, and how we don't love

1743
01:01:19,664 --> 01:01:21,284
that. We want it to be better.

1744
01:01:22,385 --> 01:01:23,444
Acknowledging that

1745
01:01:24,530 --> 01:01:25,829
truth to me

1746
01:01:26,369 --> 01:01:28,255
makes a big difference because then nobody is

1747
01:01:28,255 --> 01:01:29,190
having to, like, climb through layers of, like,

1748
01:01:32,690 --> 01:01:35,010
shame or guilt about what you haven't said

1749
01:01:35,010 --> 01:01:37,809
over the past few years. We never pretended

1750
01:01:37,809 --> 01:01:39,855
that this was was the exact power exchange

1751
01:01:39,855 --> 01:01:41,855
we wanted. We knew things were lacking. We

1752
01:01:41,855 --> 01:01:43,695
knew what we had had before. Mhmm. But

1753
01:01:43,695 --> 01:01:46,015
we never, like, tried to just internalize that

1754
01:01:46,015 --> 01:01:47,315
feeling alone and

1755
01:01:47,695 --> 01:01:49,454
act like everything was fine to the other.

1756
01:01:49,454 --> 01:01:50,789
We were like, no. No. Let's talk about

1757
01:01:51,349 --> 01:01:52,309
about it. This sucks right now. Doesn't it?

1758
01:01:52,309 --> 01:01:54,469
Yes. It does suck right now. And so

1759
01:01:54,469 --> 01:01:56,869
we done. We could stay connected through the

1760
01:01:56,869 --> 01:01:59,590
socket, which made it way easier Yeah. To

1761
01:01:59,590 --> 01:02:00,969
connect when things started

1762
01:02:01,269 --> 01:02:02,969
to get a little easier. Right.

1763
01:02:03,554 --> 01:02:04,054
So

1764
01:02:05,074 --> 01:02:05,574
yeah.

1765
01:02:05,875 --> 01:02:06,375
So

1766
01:02:08,275 --> 01:02:09,894
is that, I feel like that's

1767
01:02:10,675 --> 01:02:12,034
I asked you about goals. I don't really

1768
01:02:12,034 --> 01:02:13,954
have goals. I just wanna, like, do shit

1769
01:02:13,954 --> 01:02:16,194
and see what happens. Mhmm. I wanna I

1770
01:02:16,194 --> 01:02:17,554
would like to get to the end of

1771
01:02:17,554 --> 01:02:19,309
the year and look back at what we

1772
01:02:19,309 --> 01:02:21,710
did this year and go, okay. What's different?

1773
01:02:21,710 --> 01:02:24,829
Right. What is something that's been rejuvenated? That

1774
01:02:24,829 --> 01:02:26,510
was another word of my word of the

1775
01:02:26,510 --> 01:02:27,010
year.

1776
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:30,110
What is what is fundamentally different than what

1777
01:02:30,110 --> 01:02:31,545
we used to do? And and then assess

1778
01:02:31,625 --> 01:02:33,385
assessing go, okay. What worked? What didn't? What

1779
01:02:33,385 --> 01:02:34,605
do we wanna do in 2026?

1780
01:02:35,144 --> 01:02:36,844
Mhmm. But I don't have any, like, concrete

1781
01:02:37,065 --> 01:02:39,944
goals. Yeah. No. Plans. Plans and intentions. Yes.

1782
01:02:39,944 --> 01:02:40,444
Yes.

1783
01:02:40,744 --> 01:02:41,724
Yes. So

1784
01:02:42,424 --> 01:02:44,364
so so are we good on that aspect?

1785
01:02:44,824 --> 01:02:46,284
I guess so. Okay.

1786
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:48,380
Just one thing I wanna talk about

1787
01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,920
real quick. Okay. And it's not a bonus

1788
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:52,859
section thing? No. Okay. Okay.

1789
01:02:53,559 --> 01:02:54,859
It's a community thing.

1790
01:02:57,159 --> 01:02:59,319
I I saw some people bringing it up

1791
01:02:59,319 --> 01:02:59,980
in the

1792
01:03:00,465 --> 01:03:01,445
chat. YouTube

1793
01:03:02,065 --> 01:03:03,125
live chat. Yeah.

1794
01:03:04,305 --> 01:03:05,844
I'm not going to mention any names,

1795
01:03:08,224 --> 01:03:08,625
but,

1796
01:03:09,184 --> 01:03:09,684
there

1797
01:03:10,945 --> 01:03:12,005
has been a dungeon

1798
01:03:12,465 --> 01:03:14,144
in the Orlando area. I mean, I think

1799
01:03:14,144 --> 01:03:16,230
we could I think pretty much know. Well,

1800
01:03:16,550 --> 01:03:18,969
would yeah. The shed. The woodshed. And,

1801
01:03:20,070 --> 01:03:21,130
there had been

1802
01:03:22,469 --> 01:03:23,650
some problems that

1803
01:03:24,070 --> 01:03:25,130
Ongoing for years,

1804
01:03:25,510 --> 01:03:27,750
apparently. For years, apparently. And,

1805
01:03:28,630 --> 01:03:30,809
it it finally came to a head

1806
01:03:31,269 --> 01:03:31,769
recently.

1807
01:03:33,295 --> 01:03:34,434
There have been

1808
01:03:34,894 --> 01:03:35,394
over

1809
01:03:36,015 --> 01:03:36,515
about

1810
01:03:36,974 --> 01:03:38,835
a decade, from what I understand,

1811
01:03:40,175 --> 01:03:41,235
there have been,

1812
01:03:42,175 --> 01:03:43,695
accusations of consent

1813
01:03:44,094 --> 01:03:44,594
Violations.

1814
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:45,405
Violations.

1815
01:03:47,949 --> 01:03:50,110
And and, yes, at this at this point,

1816
01:03:50,110 --> 01:03:52,289
it it has finally come to a head.

1817
01:03:54,590 --> 01:03:55,090
Management

1818
01:03:56,110 --> 01:03:56,849
was involved.

1819
01:03:57,869 --> 01:04:00,050
And, unfortunately, when it it it's

1820
01:04:01,235 --> 01:04:03,474
in the upper level like that, it also

1821
01:04:03,474 --> 01:04:04,375
trickled down

1822
01:04:04,835 --> 01:04:05,335
to

1823
01:04:05,954 --> 01:04:06,934
dungeon monitors.

1824
01:04:07,474 --> 01:04:09,474
Yeah. People that you should be fucking safe

1825
01:04:09,474 --> 01:04:11,735
with when you go to the dungeon. Goddamn.

1826
01:04:12,114 --> 01:04:14,454
That that was my understanding of it.

1827
01:04:16,969 --> 01:04:17,789
You know,

1828
01:04:18,250 --> 01:04:19,929
over a decade, that's a long That's a

1829
01:04:19,929 --> 01:04:21,789
long time and time. A lot of people.

1830
01:04:22,569 --> 01:04:25,069
So, you know, the the Orlando community

1831
01:04:25,449 --> 01:04:26,349
is is

1832
01:04:27,369 --> 01:04:27,869
reeling

1833
01:04:28,809 --> 01:04:29,594
right now.

1834
01:04:30,635 --> 01:04:33,054
You know, Rara mentioned it about,

1835
01:04:34,155 --> 01:04:35,914
you know, this this stuff going on in

1836
01:04:35,914 --> 01:04:37,755
PhET, and we've we've been keeping up with

1837
01:04:37,755 --> 01:04:38,474
it. Yeah.

1838
01:04:39,434 --> 01:04:40,175
We we

1839
01:04:40,715 --> 01:04:43,170
have finally kind of gotten some information. What

1840
01:04:43,170 --> 01:04:44,449
we were seeing was like a bit here,

1841
01:04:44,449 --> 01:04:46,130
a bit there, and we're like, okay. Something's

1842
01:04:46,130 --> 01:04:47,730
going down. It sounds like what happened a

1843
01:04:47,730 --> 01:04:50,050
couple years ago, but where's main information? And

1844
01:04:50,050 --> 01:04:52,309
then Rah Rah in in the loving BDSM

1845
01:04:52,369 --> 01:04:54,289
Discord shared a link of here. Here's where

1846
01:04:54,289 --> 01:04:56,755
somebody's compiling all of the stuff. Right. And

1847
01:04:56,755 --> 01:04:58,835
it it's a it's a lot. I haven't

1848
01:04:58,835 --> 01:05:00,275
even gone through all of it yet. Mhmm.

1849
01:05:00,275 --> 01:05:00,434
But,

1850
01:05:02,114 --> 01:05:03,175
yeah. So

1851
01:05:03,474 --> 01:05:06,135
You know, and, there's there's even

1852
01:05:06,514 --> 01:05:07,574
a number of,

1853
01:05:08,195 --> 01:05:10,215
apparently, a number of, past

1854
01:05:10,590 --> 01:05:12,769
dungeon monitors that have come forward,

1855
01:05:13,710 --> 01:05:15,570
that over the years they have left.

1856
01:05:16,269 --> 01:05:18,030
Yes. Some people, we were like, oh, I

1857
01:05:18,030 --> 01:05:19,590
thought you'd be here forever. You were like

1858
01:05:19,710 --> 01:05:21,390
Right. We we were in the community. We

1859
01:05:21,390 --> 01:05:22,910
were we were very close with them. They

1860
01:05:22,910 --> 01:05:24,829
they were very, you know, enmeshed in the

1861
01:05:24,829 --> 01:05:27,474
community there. They were educators themselves. Mhmm. You

1862
01:05:27,474 --> 01:05:28,054
know? And,

1863
01:05:30,434 --> 01:05:32,835
yeah, they, they, they left just, you know,

1864
01:05:32,835 --> 01:05:34,855
they, they were done. They, they could not

1865
01:05:35,875 --> 01:05:37,715
continue, you know, with the things that were

1866
01:05:37,715 --> 01:05:38,454
going on.

1867
01:05:39,150 --> 01:05:39,650
So,

1868
01:05:40,429 --> 01:05:42,690
yes. Every everything has come to a head,

1869
01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:47,469
and for now, yes, the the shed is

1870
01:05:47,469 --> 01:05:50,109
closed. Mhmm. My understanding is it's supposed to

1871
01:05:50,109 --> 01:05:52,510
be getting new new ownership? I I had

1872
01:05:52,510 --> 01:05:53,744
read something that,

1873
01:05:54,305 --> 01:05:55,204
there's already

1874
01:05:55,505 --> 01:05:56,965
new owners. Okay.

1875
01:05:57,585 --> 01:05:59,285
That it will be opening,

1876
01:06:00,224 --> 01:06:02,545
but I I think my understanding that is

1877
01:06:02,545 --> 01:06:04,704
right now at this point in time, that

1878
01:06:04,704 --> 01:06:06,805
is not the focus. The focus is

1879
01:06:07,345 --> 01:06:08,085
on helping

1880
01:06:08,630 --> 01:06:10,969
people who are victims of these consent violations

1881
01:06:11,110 --> 01:06:13,510
and and the community healing. Yeah.

1882
01:06:14,070 --> 01:06:15,910
You know, that and and that's something that's

1883
01:06:15,910 --> 01:06:17,849
not gonna happen overnight. Mm-mm.

1884
01:06:18,869 --> 01:06:19,530
You know,

1885
01:06:20,070 --> 01:06:22,170
I'm I'm very happy to see the Orlando

1886
01:06:22,230 --> 01:06:22,635
Munch

1887
01:06:23,514 --> 01:06:25,275
has has stepped up, and and they have

1888
01:06:25,275 --> 01:06:27,695
put out resources for people. Okay.

1889
01:06:28,554 --> 01:06:29,534
You know, so

1890
01:06:30,954 --> 01:06:34,394
it it's it's sad. Mhmm. It it's it's

1891
01:06:34,394 --> 01:06:35,934
very, very sad. You know?

1892
01:06:39,010 --> 01:06:41,349
I I had actually heard some rumblings

1893
01:06:42,210 --> 01:06:44,530
years ago, and I I just kinda, like,

1894
01:06:44,530 --> 01:06:44,930
you know

1895
01:06:45,809 --> 01:06:47,269
no. That can't be that that

1896
01:06:47,570 --> 01:06:49,809
doesn't that doesn't sound right from from what

1897
01:06:49,809 --> 01:06:51,110
I've seen, but, apparently,

1898
01:06:52,355 --> 01:06:54,114
yes. It it had been going on for

1899
01:06:54,114 --> 01:06:55,574
a while. Yeah. But

1900
01:06:55,875 --> 01:06:57,635
the I had I've always been in the

1901
01:06:57,635 --> 01:06:58,914
dark about stuff like that because I'm not

1902
01:06:58,914 --> 01:07:00,434
usually paying attention. But what was that? A

1903
01:07:00,434 --> 01:07:02,994
couple years ago, things blew up, and there

1904
01:07:02,994 --> 01:07:04,454
were promises to do better,

1905
01:07:05,190 --> 01:07:06,630
And clearly, that did not happen, and now

1906
01:07:06,789 --> 01:07:08,469
and I'm sure there's been many things in

1907
01:07:08,469 --> 01:07:09,530
between just because

1908
01:07:09,909 --> 01:07:12,309
I saw one thing one time. And that's,

1909
01:07:12,309 --> 01:07:14,489
I think, why this is finally just

1910
01:07:15,349 --> 01:07:17,210
come to a head and, like, things just

1911
01:07:17,315 --> 01:07:19,575
cannot continue as they have been. Right. Right.

1912
01:07:19,795 --> 01:07:21,715
No idea what that's gonna look like in

1913
01:07:21,715 --> 01:07:22,454
the future. Mhmm.

1914
01:07:23,795 --> 01:07:26,454
We are not heavily involved with that community,

1915
01:07:26,515 --> 01:07:29,155
but, you know, our we are thinking about

1916
01:07:29,155 --> 01:07:30,295
the folks who

1917
01:07:30,909 --> 01:07:33,150
have been harmed and Right. Had a community

1918
01:07:33,150 --> 01:07:35,309
they felt they could trust and don't right

1919
01:07:35,309 --> 01:07:36,289
now. Yeah.

1920
01:07:37,070 --> 01:07:39,469
So Mhmm. Yeah. But for anybody who's like,

1921
01:07:39,469 --> 01:07:41,230
you're in Florida. Don't you know? We are

1922
01:07:41,230 --> 01:07:43,364
aware. We are so far on the outskirts.

1923
01:07:43,364 --> 01:07:45,224
This is not our story. We are just

1924
01:07:45,364 --> 01:07:47,605
able to kinda look in and go, oh,

1925
01:07:47,605 --> 01:07:51,465
that was all fucking awful. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

1926
01:07:52,005 --> 01:07:54,644
So Yeah. And and on a little bit

1927
01:07:54,644 --> 01:07:55,784
of a lighter note,

1928
01:07:56,405 --> 01:07:58,839
another club that I've talked about a lot

1929
01:07:58,839 --> 01:08:00,440
in the past that we've attended This is

1930
01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:01,800
the very first dungeon I ever got to

1931
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:04,920
go. The the Phoenix Club. Mhmm. They are

1932
01:08:04,920 --> 01:08:05,900
under new ownership,

1933
01:08:06,199 --> 01:08:07,639
my understanding of what I've seen. What's your

1934
01:08:07,639 --> 01:08:08,139
name?

1935
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:09,260
Deviant.

1936
01:08:10,355 --> 01:08:12,614
Okay. Yeah. Or Deviant or Deviants.

1937
01:08:13,234 --> 01:08:13,734
Okay.

1938
01:08:14,194 --> 01:08:16,435
Can't but yeah. They they've got a whole

1939
01:08:16,435 --> 01:08:17,335
new name and,

1940
01:08:19,074 --> 01:08:20,675
yeah. Maybe one day we'll get to go

1941
01:08:20,675 --> 01:08:22,594
back there and see see what it's like.

1942
01:08:22,594 --> 01:08:25,389
Yeah. I mean, since we since I have

1943
01:08:25,389 --> 01:08:27,710
even been aware of the Phoenix Club and

1944
01:08:27,710 --> 01:08:29,630
had gone to it, they had changed ownership

1945
01:08:29,630 --> 01:08:30,609
a couple of times

1946
01:08:31,149 --> 01:08:34,050
because unless it's your career running a dungeon,

1947
01:08:34,109 --> 01:08:36,670
especially a successful one, can I mean, that's

1948
01:08:36,670 --> 01:08:38,635
a lot of late nights on your weekends?

1949
01:08:38,635 --> 01:08:41,114
Yeah. That's a lot of night work. Yeah.

1950
01:08:41,435 --> 01:08:43,215
And we had known people who,

1951
01:08:43,594 --> 01:08:45,135
for the phoenix who had

1952
01:08:46,234 --> 01:08:47,914
owned it, and then they went, we just

1953
01:08:47,914 --> 01:08:49,914
can't do this anymore, and then sold it

1954
01:08:49,914 --> 01:08:51,770
to them. But, yeah, this is Yeah. To

1955
01:08:52,250 --> 01:08:54,250
since I've been aware that the Phoenix Club

1956
01:08:54,250 --> 01:08:56,329
existed, this is the first name change that

1957
01:08:56,329 --> 01:08:58,890
I'm First name since they opened, they have

1958
01:08:58,890 --> 01:09:00,250
been They've always been the Phoenix. Always been

1959
01:09:00,250 --> 01:09:00,909
the Phoenix.

1960
01:09:01,289 --> 01:09:03,610
So, yeah, the the name change now, that

1961
01:09:03,690 --> 01:09:04,909
that's very different.

1962
01:09:06,625 --> 01:09:08,304
Since I've known the club, they've gone through

1963
01:09:08,304 --> 01:09:10,005
a lot of Yeah.

1964
01:09:10,465 --> 01:09:10,944
Changes

1965
01:09:11,505 --> 01:09:13,425
Yeah. And that's owners. And that and, you

1966
01:09:13,425 --> 01:09:14,324
know, you're right.

1967
01:09:15,024 --> 01:09:16,164
You know, one

1968
01:09:17,264 --> 01:09:19,444
I I was fairly good friends with owners

1969
01:09:19,585 --> 01:09:20,885
years ago. I used to

1970
01:09:21,390 --> 01:09:21,630
and,

1971
01:09:23,310 --> 01:09:25,070
yeah. You you pretty much give up your

1972
01:09:25,070 --> 01:09:25,570
life,

1973
01:09:26,030 --> 01:09:28,050
you know, because every weekend,

1974
01:09:28,909 --> 01:09:30,610
you know, a lot of times during

1975
01:09:31,070 --> 01:09:32,689
the weeks they would host

1976
01:09:33,585 --> 01:09:35,525
lunch Mhmm. At times.

1977
01:09:36,225 --> 01:09:37,985
You know, and they they'd have other functions.

1978
01:09:37,985 --> 01:09:39,345
So, you know, it it just goes on

1979
01:09:39,345 --> 01:09:40,385
and it it, you know

1980
01:09:41,265 --> 01:09:42,465
Yeah. And then you've got to deal with

1981
01:09:42,465 --> 01:09:44,725
the bureaucracy of wherever the hell you live

1982
01:09:44,784 --> 01:09:46,565
and potential liability.

1983
01:09:46,945 --> 01:09:47,445
Like,

1984
01:09:48,260 --> 01:09:50,659
we, I think, for 5 seconds, flirted with

1985
01:09:50,659 --> 01:09:52,760
maybe one day having a dungeon and

1986
01:09:53,460 --> 01:09:55,300
just a tiny bit, we looked into it

1987
01:09:55,300 --> 01:09:58,260
and went, yeah. No. Yeah. No. Yeah. We

1988
01:09:58,260 --> 01:09:59,800
are not built for that.

1989
01:10:01,185 --> 01:10:03,585
Mhmm. Mhmm. No. But yeah. So So yeah.

1990
01:10:03,585 --> 01:10:05,664
There there's a there there's a lot of,

1991
01:10:06,064 --> 01:10:08,064
changes in the in the community here in

1992
01:10:08,064 --> 01:10:10,085
Florida. Some good, some not so good.

1993
01:10:10,704 --> 01:10:13,524
Clearly, some needed. Yeah. Some.

1994
01:10:14,010 --> 01:10:17,470
Mhmm. Yield something better going forward. Right.

1995
01:10:18,090 --> 01:10:20,250
So yeah. Anyway, I just wanted to,

1996
01:10:21,050 --> 01:10:22,909
talk about that a little bit. Yeah.

1997
01:10:23,369 --> 01:10:23,689
So,

1998
01:10:25,689 --> 01:10:27,454
On that note. Are we good?

1999
01:10:29,835 --> 01:10:31,675
We are sorry to bring the room down

2000
01:10:31,675 --> 01:10:34,475
with Yeah. That reality. But, yeah, I guess

2001
01:10:34,475 --> 01:10:36,875
we're we're good and can talk about our

2002
01:10:36,875 --> 01:10:38,875
snoring dog Yeah. Who sounds like she just

2003
01:10:38,875 --> 01:10:41,020
worked a double. Or she did. Mhmm. Mhmm.

2004
01:10:41,020 --> 01:10:41,840
K. Alright.

2005
01:10:42,300 --> 01:10:44,699
Keith, Keith, y'all. And we'll see you next

2006
01:10:44,699 --> 01:10:45,199
week.

2007
01:10:54,204 --> 01:10:54,704
Dottie.

2008
01:10:55,324 --> 01:10:57,024
Yes. Can we talk to the crackheads?

2009
01:10:57,404 --> 01:10:57,904
Yes.

2010
01:10:58,444 --> 01:11:00,364
And then I'm gonna hold you back. Oh,

2011
01:11:00,364 --> 01:11:02,925
oh, the the only thing I could think

2012
01:11:02,925 --> 01:11:05,164
about is the Lola update because it happened

2013
01:11:05,164 --> 01:11:06,385
fast fast fast.

2014
01:11:07,489 --> 01:11:10,470
She's going for eye surgery on Thursday. For

2015
01:11:10,930 --> 01:11:13,489
livestream folks, that's day after. For podcast folks,

2016
01:11:13,489 --> 01:11:15,570
it's day before. Day before. Yeah. But, yeah,

2017
01:11:15,570 --> 01:11:17,650
she we talked about it several weeks ago

2018
01:11:17,650 --> 01:11:19,425
about her eyelashes curl in, and that's what

2019
01:11:19,425 --> 01:11:21,604
causes problems with her eyes, blah blah blah.

2020
01:11:22,625 --> 01:11:25,284
And so we started we were we realized

2021
01:11:25,505 --> 01:11:27,844
Monday? Is it just been Monday? Mhmm.

2022
01:11:28,304 --> 01:11:29,984
No. Or it was Tuesday. It was yesterday.

2023
01:11:29,984 --> 01:11:32,190
We realized, oh, we can schedule her surgery

2024
01:11:32,190 --> 01:11:33,869
now. Right. So we call the vet and

2025
01:11:33,869 --> 01:11:35,710
we're thinking, oh, it's a couple weeks out.

2026
01:11:35,710 --> 01:11:37,150
I'll be putting her on the books for

2027
01:11:37,150 --> 01:11:37,650
February.

2028
01:11:38,510 --> 01:11:40,670
No. They're like, we can get her in

2029
01:11:40,670 --> 01:11:42,930
on Thursday's schedule. And I was like,

2030
01:11:43,994 --> 01:11:46,715
doesn't she have to do pre op stuff?

2031
01:11:46,715 --> 01:11:47,994
They're like, oh, yeah. You can come in

2032
01:11:47,994 --> 01:11:49,215
today and do that. It's

2033
01:11:49,675 --> 01:11:50,175
happening

2034
01:11:50,954 --> 01:11:51,854
very fast,

2035
01:11:53,274 --> 01:11:55,114
which is fine, which is fine. The sooner

2036
01:11:55,114 --> 01:11:56,939
we can get her the surgery, the sooner

2037
01:11:56,939 --> 01:11:59,579
her eyes hopefully won't bother her. Yeah. But

2038
01:11:59,579 --> 01:12:01,260
it is gonna be 2 weeks of a

2039
01:12:01,260 --> 01:12:03,260
cone. 2 weeks of the cone for her

2040
01:12:03,260 --> 01:12:05,359
and and she has to wear it until

2041
01:12:05,819 --> 01:12:07,199
apparently, they're not using

2042
01:12:09,994 --> 01:12:12,715
dissolving stitches. Oh, okay. They're using kind of

2043
01:12:12,795 --> 01:12:14,395
they they will have to be we have

2044
01:12:14,395 --> 01:12:15,595
to bring her in to have them taken

2045
01:12:15,595 --> 01:12:16,095
out.

2046
01:12:17,755 --> 01:12:22,015
Yeah. So but, yeah. We're getting that scheduled.

2047
01:12:24,719 --> 01:12:27,520
This all started in July with her. Yeah.

2048
01:12:27,520 --> 01:12:29,359
I mean, it's been a lifelong thing for

2049
01:12:29,359 --> 01:12:31,520
her. Yeah. But it The effects were starting

2050
01:12:31,520 --> 01:12:33,199
to show up. The effects were starting to

2051
01:12:33,199 --> 01:12:34,500
get more severe, and

2052
01:12:35,359 --> 01:12:36,020
the medication

2053
01:12:36,975 --> 01:12:38,574
that I've been using, it helps, but it

2054
01:12:38,574 --> 01:12:40,734
does it's not gonna Right. You know, make

2055
01:12:40,734 --> 01:12:42,414
it totally go away. As soon as I

2056
01:12:42,414 --> 01:12:44,734
stop giving her the medication, it it flares

2057
01:12:44,734 --> 01:12:45,954
back up again. So,

2058
01:12:46,734 --> 01:12:48,175
yeah, this this is gonna be it's

2059
01:12:50,250 --> 01:12:51,689
I don't know if she's still gonna love

2060
01:12:51,689 --> 01:12:53,210
us after this. She is gonna be so

2061
01:12:53,210 --> 01:12:55,130
mad. She don't like going to the vet

2062
01:12:55,130 --> 01:12:56,989
anyway. No. Okay? No.

2063
01:12:58,250 --> 01:13:01,369
The her blood work was a 10 minute

2064
01:13:01,369 --> 01:13:02,349
max appointment

2065
01:13:02,729 --> 01:13:03,389
on Tuesday.

2066
01:13:03,929 --> 01:13:04,750
Yeah. She

2067
01:13:05,244 --> 01:13:07,244
was very annoyed with us. Mhmm. Well, we

2068
01:13:07,244 --> 01:13:08,844
tried to get her in, tried to get

2069
01:13:08,844 --> 01:13:09,805
her on the scale, tried to get her

2070
01:13:09,805 --> 01:13:11,965
in the room. Ironically, when it was time

2071
01:13:11,965 --> 01:13:13,805
to leave, then she didn't wanna leave, and

2072
01:13:13,805 --> 01:13:15,024
she wanted to go explore

2073
01:13:15,324 --> 01:13:17,164
every room in the building. Right. I was

2074
01:13:17,164 --> 01:13:19,729
like, what is happening here? But see, normally

2075
01:13:20,030 --> 01:13:21,170
nor and I've I've

2076
01:13:22,030 --> 01:13:22,930
am I anthropomorphizing?

2077
01:13:23,310 --> 01:13:25,789
Of course. But my sneaking suspicion is she

2078
01:13:25,789 --> 01:13:27,470
thought that was gonna be a bad one,

2079
01:13:27,470 --> 01:13:28,989
and it wasn't a bad one, and she

2080
01:13:28,989 --> 01:13:29,649
was fine.

2081
01:13:30,005 --> 01:13:32,085
Thursday, we drop her off at 8 AM,

2082
01:13:32,085 --> 01:13:33,845
and they're like, yeah. It'll probably be after

2083
01:13:33,845 --> 01:13:35,545
3 before you can pick her up.

2084
01:13:36,244 --> 01:13:37,685
So we just are taking her to the

2085
01:13:37,685 --> 01:13:38,505
bad place

2086
01:13:39,045 --> 01:13:41,524
for the whole day. Yep. I mean, I'm

2087
01:13:41,524 --> 01:13:43,545
hoping that she's, like, real drugged up

2088
01:13:43,925 --> 01:13:45,729
from the anesthesia and the pain meds, and

2089
01:13:45,729 --> 01:13:47,649
so she does not give a fuck. Yeah.

2090
01:13:47,649 --> 01:13:49,250
I do wonder, are we gonna need to

2091
01:13:49,250 --> 01:13:52,130
bring the wagon? Because Right. She does not

2092
01:13:52,130 --> 01:13:53,189
feel like walking.

2093
01:13:54,130 --> 01:13:55,649
We are not gonna be able to carry

2094
01:13:55,649 --> 01:13:56,389
her. No.

2095
01:13:56,689 --> 01:13:57,189
No.

2096
01:13:57,810 --> 01:13:58,310
No.

2097
01:13:58,689 --> 01:14:01,195
But, yeah, she does not know what's coming.

2098
01:14:01,195 --> 01:14:03,275
Nope. She is She doesn't have a clue.

2099
01:14:03,355 --> 01:14:04,735
So mad at us.

2100
01:14:05,114 --> 01:14:06,414
Yeah. Yeah. So

2101
01:14:06,715 --> 01:14:08,715
just real quick, bad cat asked where the,

2102
01:14:08,954 --> 01:14:11,614
where the Phoenix Club is. That's in Largo

2103
01:14:11,755 --> 01:14:13,835
in Pinellas County on the West Coast, just,

2104
01:14:14,074 --> 01:14:16,229
Tampa Bay area. Tampa Bay area. Yeah.

2105
01:14:16,849 --> 01:14:19,889
Yeah. Excuse me. So yeah. She's she's got

2106
01:14:19,889 --> 01:14:21,889
that coming. That that it threw us off

2107
01:14:21,889 --> 01:14:23,569
of how fast it was. It was like

2108
01:14:23,569 --> 01:14:26,069
that that was super fast. Okay. Yeah.

2109
01:14:26,770 --> 01:14:28,710
She's, she's she's very funny.

2110
01:14:31,024 --> 01:14:32,645
She over time, she has learned,

2111
01:14:33,585 --> 01:14:36,324
what the eye drop bottle is. Uh-huh.

2112
01:14:37,024 --> 01:14:38,864
Few times now, she's seen me pick it

2113
01:14:38,864 --> 01:14:39,364
up,

2114
01:14:39,985 --> 01:14:42,064
and what she will do, she sees me

2115
01:14:42,064 --> 01:14:44,005
pick it up. She runs for her crate,

2116
01:14:44,890 --> 01:14:46,890
and she goes into the very far back

2117
01:14:46,890 --> 01:14:49,130
corner and buries her head. Oh my gosh.

2118
01:14:49,130 --> 01:14:51,470
Yeah. Oh my gosh. So, I have to

2119
01:14:52,409 --> 01:14:53,550
be slick about

2120
01:14:54,970 --> 01:14:56,570
getting the bottle, not let her see me

2121
01:14:56,570 --> 01:14:57,765
pick it up. Yeah.

2122
01:14:59,045 --> 01:15:00,564
But right now, she doesn't have a care

2123
01:15:00,564 --> 01:15:03,064
in the world as scoring, like, only,

2124
01:15:03,925 --> 01:15:05,765
a dog her size and a pity can

2125
01:15:05,765 --> 01:15:08,005
do. Right. I mean, truly, like, we have

2126
01:15:08,005 --> 01:15:09,779
worked her hard Yeah.

2127
01:15:10,819 --> 01:15:11,960
With no breaks.

2128
01:15:13,219 --> 01:15:14,899
Yeah. She's out like a damn light. Yes.

2129
01:15:14,899 --> 01:15:15,559
She is.

2130
01:15:16,020 --> 01:15:16,420
So

2131
01:15:17,380 --> 01:15:17,779
But,

2132
01:15:18,659 --> 01:15:20,659
yeah. Other than that, you know, she's she's

2133
01:15:20,659 --> 01:15:24,095
doing good. Mhmm. Mhmm. Onyx and Ella. Onyx

2134
01:15:24,095 --> 01:15:26,655
and Ella are Onyx and Ella. Yeah. But

2135
01:15:26,655 --> 01:15:27,795
they are slowly,

2136
01:15:28,494 --> 01:15:29,315
so slowly,

2137
01:15:30,015 --> 01:15:31,074
inch by inch,

2138
01:15:31,854 --> 01:15:34,675
moving closer to sitting next to one another

2139
01:15:34,735 --> 01:15:36,414
on our bed. So Yeah. The way it

2140
01:15:36,414 --> 01:15:37,635
typically works is

2141
01:15:38,179 --> 01:15:40,340
2 pillows on the bed. Mhmm. One cat

2142
01:15:40,340 --> 01:15:42,020
is on 1, one cat is on the

2143
01:15:42,020 --> 01:15:44,439
other. It used to be Onyx on JB's

2144
01:15:44,500 --> 01:15:47,060
pillow, Ella on mine. And then one day,

2145
01:15:47,060 --> 01:15:49,619
Ella went fuck that shit. And they flipped.

2146
01:15:49,619 --> 01:15:51,460
And Onyx, I guess, decided not to fight

2147
01:15:51,460 --> 01:15:54,164
her on it. Onyx will fight Ella. And

2148
01:15:54,164 --> 01:15:55,845
when I say fight, I don't mean, like,

2149
01:15:55,845 --> 01:15:57,765
the scary cat fights where, like, oh, shit.

2150
01:15:57,765 --> 01:15:59,845
We we need to, like, take somebody to

2151
01:15:59,845 --> 01:16:01,604
the vet now. But, like, she'll bat at

2152
01:16:01,604 --> 01:16:03,444
her. Like, bitch, get out of my spot.

2153
01:16:03,444 --> 01:16:05,685
No. Mhmm. Ella said I wanna be here,

2154
01:16:05,685 --> 01:16:08,100
and Onyx went, fuck it. Okay.

2155
01:16:08,560 --> 01:16:10,560
So for a couple weeks, it's it's swapped.

2156
01:16:10,560 --> 01:16:12,319
Right? Onyx was on my pillow. Ella was

2157
01:16:12,319 --> 01:16:14,079
on JB's pillow. And then what was it?

2158
01:16:14,079 --> 01:16:14,579
Today?

2159
01:16:14,960 --> 01:16:16,340
Mhmm. So they've been slowly

2160
01:16:16,960 --> 01:16:20,164
gravitating closer to one another, inching towards the

2161
01:16:20,164 --> 01:16:23,145
middle of those pillows. Yeah. Until today,

2162
01:16:23,845 --> 01:16:27,045
they were on the same pillow together. There

2163
01:16:27,045 --> 01:16:29,625
was still a few inches of space, though.

2164
01:16:29,685 --> 01:16:32,585
I'm expecting fucking cuddling with the elf. Okay?

2165
01:16:33,210 --> 01:16:35,449
But they were in the same vicinity. Yep.

2166
01:16:35,449 --> 01:16:37,850
It's happening. I has it taken us 4

2167
01:16:37,850 --> 01:16:39,689
years to get here? 5 years to get

2168
01:16:39,689 --> 01:16:41,689
here? 4 years? But see Whatever. Mhmm. You

2169
01:16:41,689 --> 01:16:44,109
know, you you talk about how how Onyx

2170
01:16:44,489 --> 01:16:46,350
conceded the pillow. Mhmm.

2171
01:16:46,984 --> 01:16:49,465
The one thing that she will still will

2172
01:16:49,465 --> 01:16:50,844
not after all this time,

2173
01:16:51,224 --> 01:16:53,085
and I don't think that will ever change,

2174
01:16:53,545 --> 01:16:54,925
she will not let

2175
01:16:55,465 --> 01:16:57,864
Ella in the closet. Oh, that is her

2176
01:16:58,024 --> 01:17:00,425
yeah. That's her sacred safe space. That is

2177
01:17:00,425 --> 01:17:01,850
where she goes when she is terrified. That

2178
01:17:01,930 --> 01:17:04,649
that's her fortress of solitude. Yep. Yep. Nobody's

2179
01:17:04,649 --> 01:17:06,170
allowed. She didn't really like us being in

2180
01:17:06,170 --> 01:17:07,069
there. No.

2181
01:17:07,449 --> 01:17:09,949
Nope. Mm-mm. So yeah. I

2182
01:17:10,329 --> 01:17:12,170
don't think that will ever change Oh my

2183
01:17:12,170 --> 01:17:13,904
gosh. Her with that closet, but

2184
01:17:15,104 --> 01:17:18,224
Oh, we can report a semi update on

2185
01:17:18,224 --> 01:17:20,944
the flooded kitchen that we had several weeks

2186
01:17:20,944 --> 01:17:23,904
ago. Our insurance company did say, yes. That's

2187
01:17:23,904 --> 01:17:24,965
a covered claim.

2188
01:17:25,344 --> 01:17:27,189
And then we learn neither of us has

2189
01:17:27,189 --> 01:17:29,109
ever filed a home insurance plan before. We

2190
01:17:29,109 --> 01:17:30,869
are learning all of this as we go,

2191
01:17:30,869 --> 01:17:32,630
and I've had to Google shit. Well, here's

2192
01:17:32,630 --> 01:17:35,029
what here's what. If you don't know, I'll

2193
01:17:35,029 --> 01:17:37,130
I'll help you know because I didn't know.

2194
01:17:37,510 --> 01:17:39,029
They don't and I knew they wouldn't just

2195
01:17:39,029 --> 01:17:40,149
send us the money because then you could

2196
01:17:40,149 --> 01:17:41,564
spend it on whatever the fuck you wanted,

2197
01:17:41,564 --> 01:17:42,564
and they don't want you to do that

2198
01:17:42,564 --> 01:17:43,064
either.

2199
01:17:43,604 --> 01:17:46,664
So they send you a check with homeowners

2200
01:17:46,804 --> 01:17:48,724
names on it, that's both of us, and

2201
01:17:48,724 --> 01:17:51,685
your mortgage company on it. Yeah. And so

2202
01:17:51,685 --> 01:17:53,444
everybody has to endorse it, and then the

2203
01:17:53,444 --> 01:17:56,164
mortgage company gets to decide how the money

2204
01:17:56,164 --> 01:17:57,350
is dispersed. And

2205
01:17:59,409 --> 01:18:00,850
ours, I don't know if ours is making

2206
01:18:00,850 --> 01:18:02,710
it complicated or if this is what others

2207
01:18:02,710 --> 01:18:05,189
do, but it's gonna be a long process

2208
01:18:05,409 --> 01:18:08,050
now. It's not just a, hey, hire a

2209
01:18:08,050 --> 01:18:08,550
contractor,

2210
01:18:09,295 --> 01:18:11,054
you know, get a quote, have them start

2211
01:18:11,054 --> 01:18:11,554
working.

2212
01:18:11,854 --> 01:18:13,854
Personally, I would just prefer if we hired

2213
01:18:13,854 --> 01:18:14,354
them

2214
01:18:14,734 --> 01:18:16,974
and everybody agreed to them, and then the

2215
01:18:16,974 --> 01:18:19,135
fucking insurance company just fucking paid them. To

2216
01:18:19,135 --> 01:18:21,135
me, that'd be the simplest thing. I know.

2217
01:18:21,135 --> 01:18:23,279
That is not what is happening. Nope. I'm

2218
01:18:23,279 --> 01:18:25,380
still not a 100% sure what is happening.

2219
01:18:25,920 --> 01:18:26,739
But Insane.

2220
01:18:27,199 --> 01:18:29,119
Well, I guess we'll find out. Eventually, we'll

2221
01:18:29,119 --> 01:18:31,460
have a new kitchen floor, though. Yeah.

2222
01:18:32,319 --> 01:18:34,239
So there's that. That and I do not

2223
01:18:34,239 --> 01:18:36,739
know what that is gonna do to recording

2224
01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:39,814
shit. I have no fucking clue. Yeah. But

2225
01:18:39,814 --> 01:18:41,414
our next now now that we're past the

2226
01:18:41,414 --> 01:18:43,175
holidays, the next project is to start getting

2227
01:18:43,175 --> 01:18:44,715
quotes so we can figure out

2228
01:18:45,255 --> 01:18:45,755
who

2229
01:18:46,295 --> 01:18:49,175
we, wanna work with Mhmm. That will accept

2230
01:18:49,175 --> 01:18:51,060
that this is a home insurance thing and

2231
01:18:51,140 --> 01:18:53,319
it's going to be jacked up and slow.

2232
01:18:53,460 --> 01:18:55,319
Right. Can you be patient with

2233
01:18:55,619 --> 01:18:56,199
it? Mhmm.

2234
01:18:56,739 --> 01:18:58,840
So yeah. So that'll be happening. Mhmm.

2235
01:19:00,579 --> 01:19:02,340
Is there any other home stuff going on?

2236
01:19:02,340 --> 01:19:04,180
I I kept thinking there was something that

2237
01:19:04,180 --> 01:19:05,905
was gonna happen that was probably gonna affect

2238
01:19:05,905 --> 01:19:07,425
recording, and maybe I'm just thinking of the

2239
01:19:07,425 --> 01:19:07,925
floors.

2240
01:19:09,824 --> 01:19:11,204
Maybe that's all that

2241
01:19:13,505 --> 01:19:15,445
I'm joining. I didn't think of really happening.

2242
01:19:16,305 --> 01:19:16,805
Yeah.

2243
01:19:17,505 --> 01:19:18,324
So yeah.

2244
01:19:18,739 --> 01:19:20,739
Those are there's some life updates. The kids

2245
01:19:20,739 --> 01:19:21,720
are good. Mhmm.

2246
01:19:22,820 --> 01:19:25,079
The youngest is doing just fine. The oldest

2247
01:19:25,140 --> 01:19:25,640
is,

2248
01:19:27,140 --> 01:19:29,060
he took some a few months off from

2249
01:19:29,060 --> 01:19:31,479
working to get through, fall semester.

2250
01:19:32,180 --> 01:19:33,939
He's going back to work because his spring

2251
01:19:33,939 --> 01:19:35,494
semester is a little lighter.

2252
01:19:36,835 --> 01:19:38,354
It looks like and I hate to say

2253
01:19:38,354 --> 01:19:40,435
this. I am a proud band mom. I

2254
01:19:40,435 --> 01:19:42,515
will go to all the concerts, but there

2255
01:19:42,515 --> 01:19:43,335
is a possibility

2256
01:19:43,715 --> 01:19:44,614
we will have

2257
01:19:44,994 --> 01:19:47,975
fewer concerts to go to in spring semester.

2258
01:19:48,195 --> 01:19:49,960
And it will, the concerts we do go

2259
01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:51,739
to will be the

2260
01:19:52,119 --> 01:19:53,960
the ensembles that we really like to listen

2261
01:19:53,960 --> 01:19:54,460
to.

2262
01:19:56,119 --> 01:19:58,920
And I I feel bad about being excited

2263
01:19:58,920 --> 01:19:59,420
about.

2264
01:20:00,599 --> 01:20:01,099
But

2265
01:20:02,994 --> 01:20:03,814
so yeah.

2266
01:20:04,354 --> 01:20:07,635
So yeah. That's that's us. Mhmm. And we're

2267
01:20:07,635 --> 01:20:10,194
back. Yeah. Here we are. Here we are.

2268
01:20:10,194 --> 01:20:12,835
In our chairs. Yep. Doing our thing. Doing

2269
01:20:12,835 --> 01:20:14,679
our thing. Did it only take us 85

2270
01:20:14,679 --> 01:20:16,679
tries to get the mics fully functioning? Yeah.

2271
01:20:16,679 --> 01:20:19,319
Yeah. Yeah. But it's fine. It's fine. It's

2272
01:20:19,319 --> 01:20:21,500
fine. We got here Yeah. Eventually.

2273
01:20:22,119 --> 01:20:24,039
So now I guess we're gonna go. Yep.

2274
01:20:24,039 --> 01:20:25,145
Okay. Okay.

2275
01:20:27,205 --> 01:20:27,955
Bye. Bye.