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You're listening to the loving BDSM podcast episode

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423.

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Kayla Lords here with the one, the only,

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the

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nicer to your dog sometimes than you are

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to me, but it's just part of your

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charm. John Brownstone.

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I'm just saying Lola gets more good girls

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than I do. That's all I'm saying.

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That's all I'm saying.

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Not bitter or anything. No. Not at all.

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No. Not at all. Not at all.

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In a

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way, that that is related to this week's

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topic though. For once, we're not completely,

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you know, out left field. Because this week,

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for our last episode of the year, before

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we take our 2 week break,

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we're gonna look back at the state of

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our power exchange,

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in all parts of our lives and blah

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dee, blah dee, blah,

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in 2024 because why the hell not? I

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don't think we've ever done that before. If

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we have, I've already forgotten it.

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The mind used to be like a steel

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trap. Now it's like a sieve. It's great.

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Now it's like a steel colander. It is.

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It is.

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Yeah. Yeah. That's yes. That is That sums

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it up. Right? A sad fact. Yeah. Anyway,

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welcome to the loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday

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for your kinky pleasure and education, and show

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notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on fat life

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at loving BDSM PC

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on Technically threads and Instagram. At that handle,

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I will

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forever

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fucking hate. That is loving d s and

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the number one. So at loving d s

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one. Yes. That name sucks. No. I can't

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change it to have the one I want.

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That's the problem. That's why I'm bitter.

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We're on Blue Sky, loving BDSM there, dot

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blahdyblah,

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or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving

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BDSM, where you can watch us live stream

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the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in

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the show notes. Big thanks as always to

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our kinky patrons over on Patreon.

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Not just our newest peeps, but those who

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have been with us

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for 2024 and beyond, but 2024.

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Anytime in 2024, you have helped make our

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2024

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a little bit better and brighter.

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We are grateful for every fucking one of

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you. We are. We are. If you would

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like to join our kinky community and get

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our undying gratitude,

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you can do that. You get extra content.

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You get access to a Discord server.

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Just,

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yeah. There's more I normally say and I've

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I've lost the plot already. But you can

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join us at patreon.com/kayla

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lords. That's patreon.com/kayla

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lords or use the link in the show

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notes. Okay. So before we hold on. I've

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got a fidget.

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Before we get into

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the episode,

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a couple of announcements. Okay.

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We're about to take a 2 week break

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from content.

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So this episode is the last episode of

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2024.

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For podcast listeners, that means the Friday before

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Christmas, and then it'll be all quiet from

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us, the week of Christmas, the week of

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New Year's.

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The last newsletter will go out. That's not

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true. The last newsletter will go out on

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Friday, but you might get an email

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before we come back because the second announcement

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is even though we're going on break for

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2 weeks, we won't be back until I

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think it's January

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8 is when our next livestream would be.

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But don't trust me because I'm shit with

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calendars.

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You'll probably get an email if you're on

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our email list prior to that,

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because

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our Patreon

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membership drive for 2025

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is starting

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January 1st.

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And the details will be, like we'll do

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a little commercial kind of situation for that,

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and then talk about it in the first

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episode when we get back after our break.

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So you might hear from us. Just know

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it's been scheduled. I'm I'm getting all this

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done before Christmas, like, done.

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So, yeah, we're going on a break. It's

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gonna be quiet.

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If you're, a part of our Patreon membership

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and you access our Discord server, which is

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the only way you can get to our

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Discord server through our Patreon membership,

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we'll be around there because we usually are.

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But,

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yeah, nothing nothing else for a couple weeks.

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And then, yeah, we'll we'll dive right back

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in. It'll be a Patreon membership drive, and

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y'all be so tired of hearing from me

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about fucking Patreon. By the time it's over,

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you know, you might just join to shut

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me up. And, hey, I

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I fuck with that. Okay? I'm good with

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that. If that's

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I can be bribed is what I'm saying.

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Anyway,

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all that to say, those are the announcements.

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It's all it takes to bribe her. It

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really is. I almost sent you a reel

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today from somebody who has a diet Coke

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Christmas tree.

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But I don't I don't think I have

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any credibility to request something like that when

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I don't actually decorate our actual Christmas tree.

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So

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You did a good job of fluffing it.

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I'm wondering

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if either the tree is is

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or my fluffing skills are shit. Because

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when you catch the tree at just the

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right slash wrong light, it it looks a

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little it looks a little peeking.

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Looks a little puny. Okay. It's got some

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bald spots. Nice.

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I guess I don't,

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look at it that intently.

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No. I, but I do. Because it was

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my responsibility to make it look like a

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tree.

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And I'm incapable of seeing anything other than

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the imperfections of a thing I've ever done

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ever in my life. I am not a

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good a good fluffer when it comes to

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fake trees. And you don't have to be.

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You I mean, it would it would look

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like,

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you know, the tree from Charlie Brown's Christmas.

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Think you could do worse than I've done

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because I do it with, like, one eye

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open and anxiety

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riding my ass like a bitch. So

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I just I feel like you'd be fine.

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But you wrestle the damn thing, You put

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it up. I

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did. You take it down. So I can

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fluff. I can fluff. This has nothing to

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do

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with this week's topic.

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We I did. I we I don't think

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we've ever done this before or if we

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have, have, we haven't done it in, like,

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a formal way. Maybe we have. It's been

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almost 10 years, y'all. I can't remember what

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I ate last week. Don't ask me what

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episode we did a few years ago.

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But I did

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think we could kinda

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we won't do it by dates or months

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or just sort of the course of the

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year.

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How how how things have been with the

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power exchange.

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The good, the bad, the

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and for anybody who is like, oh, okay.

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This is this maybe maybe we can do

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this. I highly recommend this because when I've

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been thinking about this for the past several

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days since we knew we were gonna do

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this topic, I was like, oh, yeah. Here

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are some good things, and here are some

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things we can improve. And, you know, it's

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kinda like the state of your relationship sort

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of thing, and I highly recommend it. If

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you're single and it's there's no relationship, the

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state of your kink life. Like, what did

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you explore?

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What did you get rid of?

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Who did you get rid of? Right? Like,

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you know, I think it can be helpful

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to think back on those things to some

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extent so that maybe you have

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something

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to work on for the

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coming year or something to look forward to

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or some things you thought you would do

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that you didn't get a chance to or

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some things you thought you'd love and you

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realized you hey. Like, there's all it's all

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kinds of stuff. So for us,

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it's our power exchange relationship

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through the year.

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I can't do it by time frame because

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we all know I no. Don't No. Don't

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know my days of the week, let alone

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remember what happened in January, but thought we

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could do it by topic, like part of

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our life.

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Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And and I just wanna

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say real quick,

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Rawa, I I was wondering if anybody was

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gonna pick up on that when I'm about

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the fluffing. Rara said I'm multitasking while listening

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and heard JB say fluffing, and my mind

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went in a totally different direction. And now

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I feel very innocent because You don't know

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what a fluffer is?

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If I if I do, I don't realize

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it in this moment that I do. Okay.

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Porn movies. Okay. Nope. Definitely don't. Go ahead.

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Okay.

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You know, it's important for the stars to

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be

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Yes. I've did not So they so they

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have fluffers To keep them you know, on

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the cast to keep them, you know

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Pumped up Yeah. As it were. Okay. Mhmm.

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I did not know that was the term.

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Okay. There we go. We've all learned something

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new today.

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Even if you already knew what a fluffer

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was,

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you got to learn that Kayla had no

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fucking clue. It is that innocent. Okay.

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So let's start with, like, the big one,

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the actual power exchange,

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the decider,

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daddy dom decider,

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service emissive who does what she's told to

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do, that part of the power exchange. Yeah.

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From your perspective, how's that been in 2025?

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Oh, this freaking Peter Keen, man. Peter Keen.

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Nope. That's not helpful. That's not what makes

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an episode for anybody.

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I struggled in some parts of that this

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year.

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Okay.

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This year

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seemed to be

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a culmination of a lot of different things

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all

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coming in on each other. Mhmm. Mhmm.

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And,

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in in all honesty, the way things have

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gone,

269
00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:48,044
the last few years,

270
00:09:48,365 --> 00:09:51,504
I had been doubting my decision making ability.

271
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:54,144
I mean, same. I mean, I I don't

272
00:09:54,284 --> 00:09:56,125
make final decisions around here, but Yeah. I

273
00:09:56,125 --> 00:09:57,884
was doubting my own ability. I mean, you

274
00:09:57,884 --> 00:09:59,725
you you call me the decider, but, you

275
00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:00,225
know,

276
00:10:01,379 --> 00:10:02,759
earlier on this year,

277
00:10:04,259 --> 00:10:06,019
I had a big struggle with that. Yeah.

278
00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:07,399
Because we were

279
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:09,860
because when you make a decision, you do

280
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,879
not make that decision in a vacuum. There's

281
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:13,995
99% of the time, there's a lot of

282
00:10:13,995 --> 00:10:15,674
back and forth. There's a lot of me

283
00:10:15,674 --> 00:10:17,274
saying I have an idea or here's my

284
00:10:17,274 --> 00:10:18,575
view or whatever whatever.

285
00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:19,534
And

286
00:10:19,995 --> 00:10:21,514
what has happened a lot over the past

287
00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:24,095
few years, not just this year, is that

288
00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:27,434
you'll be like, I don't even quite know

289
00:10:27,434 --> 00:10:27,506
what the right answer is. Baby girl, what

290
00:10:27,506 --> 00:10:27,577
do you think? And I I would go,

291
00:10:27,577 --> 00:10:28,259
oh, here's how I

292
00:10:29,299 --> 00:10:31,329
answer is. Baby girl, what do you think?

293
00:10:31,329 --> 00:10:32,100
And I I would go, oh, here's how

294
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,299
I see it. Here's what I think is

295
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,960
possible. Here's what's this. Here's what's that. And

296
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,220
I would not call me a very good

297
00:10:39,220 --> 00:10:41,299
adviser this year because you took a lot

298
00:10:41,299 --> 00:10:43,139
of my suggestions really over the past couple

299
00:10:43,139 --> 00:10:43,485
years,

300
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,865
and not a one of them fucking pandemic.

301
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,044
I mean, I was like, he should not

302
00:10:52,044 --> 00:10:54,204
ask me what I think at all, because

303
00:10:54,204 --> 00:10:56,065
what the fuck do I know anymore?

304
00:10:56,605 --> 00:10:57,105
Yeah.

305
00:10:58,044 --> 00:10:59,800
Yeah. I would say it was a, it's

306
00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:01,320
some of the things that have gone on

307
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,399
have been a a major knock to our

308
00:11:03,399 --> 00:11:06,120
confidence. Like, can we be trusted to make

309
00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,600
adult decisions? Yeah. So that that that was

310
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,300
a a big, big struggle,

311
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,040
for me. Mhmm.

312
00:11:12,519 --> 00:11:14,360
I'm not gonna say it's totally gone, but

313
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,815
it's not as as prevalent as it was

314
00:11:16,815 --> 00:11:18,995
earlier this year. Here's what I'll say.

315
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:21,294
A couple of decisions that you and I

316
00:11:21,294 --> 00:11:23,615
wrestled with, like, over the summer Mhmm. We're

317
00:11:23,615 --> 00:11:24,674
like, we don't know.

318
00:11:25,134 --> 00:11:26,654
Is it good? Is it bad? Is it

319
00:11:26,654 --> 00:11:28,990
right? Is it wrong? Yeah. It we were

320
00:11:28,990 --> 00:11:31,549
realistic enough to go, it will not go

321
00:11:31,549 --> 00:11:33,149
as well as we want it to. It

322
00:11:33,149 --> 00:11:35,149
would be exact like, we've become a lot

323
00:11:35,149 --> 00:11:37,090
more realistic lately. Pragmatic.

324
00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:37,970
Yeah.

325
00:11:38,350 --> 00:11:39,330
Yeah. Yeah.

326
00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:41,794
And yet we have made a couple of

327
00:11:41,794 --> 00:11:42,934
decisions that

328
00:11:43,714 --> 00:11:46,934
are sort of turning the tide. You know?

329
00:11:47,235 --> 00:11:48,194
And they're not

330
00:11:49,154 --> 00:11:50,054
I think the

331
00:11:51,235 --> 00:11:52,115
the the thing that

332
00:11:53,389 --> 00:11:55,149
I think we both struggled with this based

333
00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:56,830
on the conversations we were having over the

334
00:11:56,830 --> 00:11:57,730
summer, especially,

335
00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,049
was we stopped trusting ourselves

336
00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,750
because we would have these ideas of things

337
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:04,610
that on paper sounded like,

338
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:07,549
absolutely. This this should work, whatever whatever the

339
00:12:07,549 --> 00:12:09,725
thing is we're trying to do, And they

340
00:12:09,725 --> 00:12:11,024
did not work. Now,

341
00:12:11,404 --> 00:12:14,125
you know, sometimes it was because we had

342
00:12:14,125 --> 00:12:15,904
an overly simplistic view,

343
00:12:16,284 --> 00:12:19,404
and sometimes it was just the natural course

344
00:12:19,404 --> 00:12:20,544
of events where,

345
00:12:22,110 --> 00:12:24,210
no battle plans survives,

346
00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:26,129
you know Yeah.

347
00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:28,050
Anything. So I,

348
00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:29,870
yeah, I can see where that would knock

349
00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:31,790
your confidence. I was terrified to tell you

350
00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:33,550
what I thought about anything because you do

351
00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,850
rely on my

352
00:12:35,355 --> 00:12:37,274
opinions I do. In a way that I

353
00:12:37,274 --> 00:12:38,794
mean, it's how I can let you have

354
00:12:38,794 --> 00:12:40,315
control because, yeah, at least I know I'm

355
00:12:40,315 --> 00:12:41,914
listened to. But I was like, don't listen

356
00:12:41,914 --> 00:12:43,615
to me. What the fuck do I know?

357
00:12:43,754 --> 00:12:44,254
Clearly.

358
00:12:44,955 --> 00:12:47,134
Clearly, I'm a dumbass. Right?

359
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,420
So, you know, yeah, with with with that,

360
00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:56,059
you know, it it was hard

361
00:12:56,840 --> 00:12:58,920
to move forward and do anything with our

362
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,420
power exchange per se for me.

363
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:02,995
You know, we

364
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:06,254
we relied on our tried and true. Oh,

365
00:13:06,254 --> 00:13:08,335
yeah. You know, the the the the stuff

366
00:13:08,335 --> 00:13:10,335
that we have set in place that that

367
00:13:10,335 --> 00:13:11,795
is routine for

368
00:13:12,174 --> 00:13:14,274
for our our DS, you know, that

369
00:13:15,855 --> 00:13:18,480
was not Sure. It's on autopilot. There's very

370
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:19,839
little that Yeah. You know, we have to

371
00:13:19,839 --> 00:13:22,240
do for it Yeah. Other than execute it.

372
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,220
Mhmm. Mhmm.

373
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:24,000
So,

374
00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:27,360
you know, that's that's kinda where where that

375
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,419
was at for me.

376
00:13:29,839 --> 00:13:30,000
I

377
00:13:32,264 --> 00:13:33,865
this year and probably for the past couple

378
00:13:33,865 --> 00:13:36,345
of years, but trying trying to stick with

379
00:13:36,345 --> 00:13:36,845
2024.

380
00:13:38,024 --> 00:13:38,845
This year

381
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:41,325
was a year where

382
00:13:42,105 --> 00:13:43,785
I think probably for the first time in

383
00:13:43,785 --> 00:13:44,524
our relationship,

384
00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:46,600
it might happened a little bit at the

385
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,840
end of 2023, but definitely happened this year,

386
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,659
earlier this year, is where I had to

387
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,100
say very firmly,

388
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,320
I to myself, but also to you. Because

389
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,034
it is very easy when you you know,

390
00:13:59,034 --> 00:14:00,875
we've talked about being a default parent and

391
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:03,914
certainly a service per oriented person, whatever. It

392
00:14:03,914 --> 00:14:05,774
is very easy for the for

393
00:14:07,595 --> 00:14:09,134
you to be relied upon

394
00:14:09,595 --> 00:14:11,754
more than you can handle, and I, being

395
00:14:11,754 --> 00:14:12,735
a people pleaser

396
00:14:13,190 --> 00:14:15,269
and having control issues, is like, no. No.

397
00:14:15,269 --> 00:14:16,230
No. I said I would do it. I

398
00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:18,389
would do it. I've you know, there's a

399
00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:19,990
way in my mind. Something needs to work.

400
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,389
Well and I think this year was probably

401
00:14:22,389 --> 00:14:23,830
one of the first years where I finally

402
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,330
went,

403
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:26,995
I I I can't do all of this

404
00:14:26,995 --> 00:14:29,154
on my own. Mhmm. And, you know, the

405
00:14:29,154 --> 00:14:32,215
nice thing is it was never a confrontation

406
00:14:32,595 --> 00:14:34,355
with you. It was more of a

407
00:14:35,955 --> 00:14:38,774
and I don't say this as a criticism.

408
00:14:38,915 --> 00:14:40,754
I think it's a natural thing that happens

409
00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:43,450
when one person takes care of a lot

410
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,690
of things. It is very easy for the

411
00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:48,970
person who's not handling that to go, oh,

412
00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:50,730
I don't have to think about it. And

413
00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:53,049
I think I finally just went, I can't

414
00:14:53,049 --> 00:14:54,464
carry all of this.

415
00:14:55,004 --> 00:14:56,945
I need you to carry some of this.

416
00:14:57,325 --> 00:14:59,245
And, you know, the reason we work is

417
00:14:59,245 --> 00:15:00,764
she went, well, of course, I kinda wish

418
00:15:00,764 --> 00:15:02,605
you would have said something like 6 months

419
00:15:02,605 --> 00:15:03,105
previously.

420
00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:06,284
Because by the time I got to the

421
00:15:06,284 --> 00:15:07,504
point where I could say,

422
00:15:07,889 --> 00:15:10,050
I can't do all of this on my

423
00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:10,550
own,

424
00:15:11,570 --> 00:15:13,129
I was at a breaking point. You were

425
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,170
you were teetering on the edge. Right. Because

426
00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:16,070
it was, you know,

427
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:18,710
last year, it started, and this year,

428
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,769
earlier in the year, it was all sort

429
00:15:20,769 --> 00:15:23,804
of converged where there was the business stuff

430
00:15:23,804 --> 00:15:26,125
that was stressful, the money stuff that was

431
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:26,625
stressful,

432
00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:30,684
home stuff that was stressful, and then parenting

433
00:15:30,684 --> 00:15:33,105
stuff that was stressful. Yes. Yep.

434
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:34,705
And Yep.

435
00:15:35,085 --> 00:15:36,605
Be me being me, I'm like, oh, well,

436
00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:37,230
I didn't I

437
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:41,470
I knew that you were going through it.

438
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:44,110
I knew that you were struggling in your

439
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,829
own way. I also knew that you were

440
00:15:46,829 --> 00:15:48,509
on the edge of burnout, and so I

441
00:15:48,509 --> 00:15:49,949
was like, I'll just take on as much

442
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,250
as I can. Yeah.

443
00:15:52,245 --> 00:15:53,945
You're that goddess, Right.

444
00:15:54,804 --> 00:15:55,304
That

445
00:15:56,725 --> 00:15:58,424
and, you know, it's funny because

446
00:15:58,884 --> 00:16:01,065
the thing I in my ideal

447
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:02,504
world where,

448
00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:05,980
you know, nothing from the outside world actually

449
00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:06,480
affects

450
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:10,059
our lives, and everything goes according to plan,

451
00:16:10,059 --> 00:16:11,120
and my optimism

452
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:14,460
never fails me. You know, that in that

453
00:16:14,460 --> 00:16:14,960
scenario,

454
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:16,700
you tell me to do a thing and

455
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,225
I do a thing. You give me a

456
00:16:18,384 --> 00:16:20,225
responsibility and I take it, and I handle

457
00:16:20,225 --> 00:16:22,065
it all with grace. But we live in

458
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:22,884
the real world.

459
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:24,245
And, actually,

460
00:16:24,784 --> 00:16:26,404
I was becoming a twitchy,

461
00:16:27,664 --> 00:16:28,324
you know,

462
00:16:29,664 --> 00:16:30,164
angry,

463
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:32,470
overstimulated fucking mess.

464
00:16:33,009 --> 00:16:36,049
And by the time I said something, it

465
00:16:36,049 --> 00:16:37,910
was at that point where I was practically

466
00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:39,509
frothing at the mouth and screaming

467
00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:42,529
slash curled in a fetal position rocking back

468
00:16:42,529 --> 00:16:45,325
and forth. Right? Like, I I almost waited

469
00:16:45,325 --> 00:16:45,725
too long. Yeah.

470
00:16:48,524 --> 00:16:50,764
Thankfully, you are who you are. So it

471
00:16:50,764 --> 00:16:52,605
was more of a there was a I

472
00:16:52,605 --> 00:16:54,764
think my read on you was that there

473
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,524
was a sense of relief that I finally

474
00:16:56,524 --> 00:16:57,825
fucking said something

475
00:16:58,845 --> 00:17:00,259
mixed with I don't know if it was

476
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:01,379
you have to tell me. I don't know

477
00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:02,360
if it was surprise

478
00:17:02,899 --> 00:17:04,900
or if it was a, oh, oops my

479
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:05,799
bad of,

480
00:17:06,339 --> 00:17:08,900
oh, you're actually not handling all of these

481
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:11,160
things as well as you pretend you are.

482
00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:13,140
And and it it it was kind of

483
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:15,154
on the the surprise end

484
00:17:15,615 --> 00:17:16,515
because I

485
00:17:17,215 --> 00:17:17,715
had

486
00:17:19,295 --> 00:17:20,434
pulled so far

487
00:17:21,055 --> 00:17:21,555
in,

488
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,734
I wasn't seen. No. Yeah. And I think

489
00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:27,375
I Which is very unusual for me. And

490
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,210
I think I was aware.

491
00:17:29,509 --> 00:17:31,429
Mhmm. Because I cannot we've talked to this

492
00:17:31,429 --> 00:17:33,369
for years. I know when we're disconnected.

493
00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:35,509
Yeah. I was so in my own head

494
00:17:35,509 --> 00:17:36,230
though that I

495
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,910
thinking about our disconnect was just one more

496
00:17:39,910 --> 00:17:41,029
thing on my list, and it was like

497
00:17:41,109 --> 00:17:42,390
it would have been a breaking point, I

498
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:43,690
think. So

499
00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:45,984
I think we both pulled inwards just in

500
00:17:45,984 --> 00:17:47,525
different ways. I became,

501
00:17:48,705 --> 00:17:49,205
like,

502
00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:53,265
obsessed with all the things that needed to

503
00:17:53,265 --> 00:17:54,865
be done, and how was I gonna make

504
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,144
it happen, and how was I gonna make

505
00:17:56,144 --> 00:17:57,500
your life a little bit easier, and how

506
00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:58,940
is I gonna prevent you from going through

507
00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:00,619
burnout? Because if you go through burnout, we're

508
00:18:00,619 --> 00:18:01,440
both fucked.

509
00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:02,240
And,

510
00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:04,000
you know,

511
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:06,619
I wasn't doing a good job of going,

512
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,619
wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. This is a

513
00:18:08,619 --> 00:18:10,380
partnership, and you can't do it all. And

514
00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:12,455
you gotta say something. But then by the

515
00:18:12,455 --> 00:18:13,474
time I said something,

516
00:18:14,255 --> 00:18:15,634
very few fucks are given.

517
00:18:16,015 --> 00:18:16,515
And

518
00:18:17,934 --> 00:18:20,174
yet, I also had that immediate and I

519
00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:22,115
wish I didn't and I, you know,

520
00:18:22,815 --> 00:18:24,994
need therapy, I'm sure, to deal with it.

521
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,474
That immediate guilt of

522
00:18:27,859 --> 00:18:30,519
I'm I'm putting stuff on you.

523
00:18:31,539 --> 00:18:33,619
Mostly I'm just handing it over. I'm just

524
00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:35,460
sharing it. Like, please carry this with me.

525
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:36,359
Yeah. But

526
00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:38,180
I have it. I get it in my

527
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:39,460
head that if I say I'm gonna do

528
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:40,660
it and I say I'm gonna take the

529
00:18:40,660 --> 00:18:42,759
responsibility, then I need to take the responsibility.

530
00:18:43,575 --> 00:18:46,054
It it it's funny because you would think,

531
00:18:46,054 --> 00:18:47,034
after all these

532
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:49,575
years, you know we do well when we

533
00:18:49,575 --> 00:18:52,054
share things. So much better. So much fucking

534
00:18:52,054 --> 00:18:54,315
better. And and yet here we are,

535
00:18:54,855 --> 00:18:56,075
all of these years later,

536
00:18:56,590 --> 00:18:58,750
though we we gotta break that cycle. How

537
00:18:58,750 --> 00:18:59,970
do we break that cycle?

538
00:19:01,869 --> 00:19:02,369
Shit.

539
00:19:02,830 --> 00:19:04,210
I knew. Yeah.

540
00:19:04,590 --> 00:19:07,070
Yeah. I know. So, yeah, nothing new happened

541
00:19:07,070 --> 00:19:09,070
with our power exchange at all. It's and

542
00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:10,670
this has been true for a few years.

543
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:12,855
Yeah. We've been on autopilot, but I am

544
00:19:12,855 --> 00:19:15,095
grateful for the fucking autopilot because the one

545
00:19:15,095 --> 00:19:15,595
thing

546
00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:19,595
I very rarely feel is not very submissive.

547
00:19:19,735 --> 00:19:21,674
Mhmm. And I think I have the luxury

548
00:19:21,735 --> 00:19:22,235
of

549
00:19:23,015 --> 00:19:25,990
consistently feeling my submissive headspace because I do

550
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,570
stuff that is directly tied to our negotiation

551
00:19:28,630 --> 00:19:30,470
for our power exchange, and I do stuff

552
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,190
daily. Right? Like, I on certain levels, I

553
00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:35,289
can't recommend that enough to others.

554
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:36,809
Find a routine

555
00:19:37,494 --> 00:19:39,174
that you get into even if it's a

556
00:19:39,174 --> 00:19:40,694
couple of small things that you can do

557
00:19:40,694 --> 00:19:41,994
daily or near daily,

558
00:19:42,694 --> 00:19:44,694
you know, as a submissive because as long

559
00:19:44,694 --> 00:19:46,534
as you remember how you got there, why

560
00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:49,015
you're doing it, and it's still fulfilling in

561
00:19:49,015 --> 00:19:49,674
some way,

562
00:19:49,974 --> 00:19:51,835
you know, you always have that

563
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,769
touchstone to your own submission. But for

564
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,750
for dominance, I would imagine that's harder because

565
00:19:58,750 --> 00:19:59,650
you absolutely

566
00:20:00,109 --> 00:20:02,269
had time past couple years, but certainly this

567
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,410
year earlier, especially,

568
00:20:04,109 --> 00:20:05,950
where you didn't have it in you to

569
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:08,565
decide or to tell or to control, or

570
00:20:08,565 --> 00:20:10,404
to make, you know, any of that. No.

571
00:20:10,404 --> 00:20:11,785
And and and then

572
00:20:12,164 --> 00:20:13,785
things here were so

573
00:20:15,045 --> 00:20:15,785
so chaotic

574
00:20:16,325 --> 00:20:17,224
with the homeschooling.

575
00:20:18,244 --> 00:20:20,289
So glad we figured that out. Right?

576
00:20:21,149 --> 00:20:23,710
You know, getting to the end of the

577
00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:24,450
school year

578
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,149
Which was a struggle. It was And we

579
00:20:27,149 --> 00:20:28,509
were a month and a half late on

580
00:20:28,509 --> 00:20:29,950
that. Yeah. You know,

581
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:33,169
kind of dragging across the finish line there

582
00:20:33,630 --> 00:20:35,474
to, get out of 8th grade.

583
00:20:36,275 --> 00:20:38,355
But we did it. Yeah. It it's not

584
00:20:38,515 --> 00:20:40,275
really was a team effort. Yeah. We did

585
00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:42,515
that, not him. We did that. Yeah. But,

586
00:20:42,515 --> 00:20:44,115
you know, that was that was a a

587
00:20:44,115 --> 00:20:45,015
thing. There's

588
00:20:46,515 --> 00:20:49,650
parenting is the one thing that does not

589
00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:52,710
touch our power exchange. Mhmm. And it was

590
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:55,109
one of the biggest stressors

591
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:59,089
for starting in 2023, but most of it

592
00:20:59,089 --> 00:21:00,309
was happening in 2024

593
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:01,509
because

594
00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:05,095
the youngest, health was a factor. Right. You

595
00:21:05,095 --> 00:21:07,274
know, his education was a factor.

596
00:21:07,575 --> 00:21:09,335
I was doing things as a parent that

597
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:11,414
I had joked for literal years I would

598
00:21:11,414 --> 00:21:12,634
never do. Mhmm.

599
00:21:13,174 --> 00:21:13,914
The universe

600
00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:15,514
it's like holding my beer.

601
00:21:16,819 --> 00:21:18,920
And it was and I struggle with change,

602
00:21:19,059 --> 00:21:21,539
and, you know, I I know I'm not

603
00:21:21,539 --> 00:21:24,119
alone in this, certainly, as a parent of

604
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:27,059
you don't ever know if you're doing the

605
00:21:27,059 --> 00:21:29,220
right thing. So I was walking around every

606
00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:31,825
single day going, have I fucked up my

607
00:21:31,825 --> 00:21:34,005
own kids' education and future?

608
00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:36,625
Do do I even know what I'm doing?

609
00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:37,985
The answer is I don't have a fucking

610
00:21:37,985 --> 00:21:39,985
clue, but, you know, there was there was

611
00:21:39,985 --> 00:21:41,505
a lot of stress to carry, and I

612
00:21:41,505 --> 00:21:44,005
wasn't good at handing it over to you.

613
00:21:44,065 --> 00:21:44,565
Mhmm.

614
00:21:46,619 --> 00:21:47,519
Mostly because

615
00:21:47,820 --> 00:21:49,279
I'm happy to hand over

616
00:21:49,820 --> 00:21:51,920
a stressor that you're willing to take on.

617
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:55,180
If I can wrap my mind around what

618
00:21:55,180 --> 00:21:57,599
I think both the problem and the solution

619
00:21:57,820 --> 00:22:00,619
might be, I just can't get us there.

620
00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:02,464
Don't have it in me. Need some help.

621
00:22:02,684 --> 00:22:05,244
But I was so lost and in the

622
00:22:05,244 --> 00:22:08,044
woods on that, you know, that I didn't

623
00:22:08,044 --> 00:22:11,005
even know how to ask for help. Mhmm.

624
00:22:11,005 --> 00:22:13,505
And I think to a certain extent, my

625
00:22:13,724 --> 00:22:15,644
my perception was is, 1, I think you

626
00:22:15,644 --> 00:22:17,420
were intimidated by the education

627
00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:19,019
part, and 2,

628
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,160
because this is just the nature of how

629
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,840
it has been with me and the youngest

630
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,820
his whole life,

631
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,320
as his and he his words, as his

632
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,140
safe person,

633
00:22:28,759 --> 00:22:30,944
I imagine from the outside of that, it's

634
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:31,924
very hard

635
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:34,964
to find a way to step into,

636
00:22:35,505 --> 00:22:35,664
like

637
00:22:36,384 --> 00:22:38,484
It is. It is. And and I think

638
00:22:38,544 --> 00:22:39,284
for me,

639
00:22:39,664 --> 00:22:41,044
it was just a

640
00:22:41,505 --> 00:22:43,284
a combination of everything.

641
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:44,964
Okay?

642
00:22:45,609 --> 00:22:47,549
You know, between his schooling,

643
00:22:47,849 --> 00:22:50,569
between his his physical health, between his mental

644
00:22:50,569 --> 00:22:52,490
health, all those things that were going on.

645
00:22:52,490 --> 00:22:55,289
Mhmm. And and it was just such a

646
00:22:55,289 --> 00:22:55,789
consuming

647
00:22:56,569 --> 00:22:56,970
Mhmm.

648
00:22:57,369 --> 00:22:58,990
Thing for for us.

649
00:22:59,365 --> 00:23:00,484
At the same time, you have to have

650
00:23:00,484 --> 00:23:01,924
a business so you can pay your mortgage.

651
00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:03,444
Right. At the same time, we were dealing

652
00:23:03,444 --> 00:23:05,684
with the culmination of some financial stuff that

653
00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:07,125
had been going on for years, and it

654
00:23:07,125 --> 00:23:08,744
just came to a head in 2024.

655
00:23:10,005 --> 00:23:11,284
At the same time, at the same time,

656
00:23:11,284 --> 00:23:13,619
at the same time. And I knew I

657
00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,180
should've should've gotten here before this,

658
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,960
but I knew it was time to share

659
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,180
the fucking load

660
00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:22,400
when I started getting resentful, when I started

661
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,339
having, like, the martyr complex. Because

662
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,299
on paper, I was doing,

663
00:23:28,934 --> 00:23:31,095
like, the the scales of, you know, the

664
00:23:31,095 --> 00:23:34,855
balance of the load sharing was so out

665
00:23:34,855 --> 00:23:37,674
of fucking whack. We were literally having conversations

666
00:23:37,815 --> 00:23:38,315
of,

667
00:23:38,694 --> 00:23:40,934
I this is me. I want you to

668
00:23:40,934 --> 00:23:43,019
go have fun with your kink friends, but

669
00:23:43,099 --> 00:23:45,180
you are literally going to a thing every

670
00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:47,420
weekend, and I have not left the house

671
00:23:47,420 --> 00:23:49,759
in 2 months, like, for anything other than

672
00:23:50,299 --> 00:23:52,700
doctor's appointments and grocery store. Right? Like, it

673
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:55,740
was the the it was so out of

674
00:23:55,740 --> 00:23:56,240
balance

675
00:23:56,684 --> 00:23:57,184
that

676
00:23:57,644 --> 00:23:58,865
I was just angry

677
00:23:59,484 --> 00:24:01,565
on top of stress, on top of, on

678
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,005
top of And and see, that was my

679
00:24:03,005 --> 00:24:05,244
way of trying to escape from everything. And

680
00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:06,845
I was letting you for a long time.

681
00:24:06,845 --> 00:24:08,125
I was just letting you. I was like,

682
00:24:08,125 --> 00:24:10,524
I'll handle it. I'll handle it. And is

683
00:24:10,524 --> 00:24:12,279
it my people pleasing self? Is it my

684
00:24:12,279 --> 00:24:14,440
love for you? Is it being submissive? Is

685
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,980
it do you all of the above?

686
00:24:16,519 --> 00:24:18,680
Where I want to give you that. I

687
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,200
want you to have your escape. I want

688
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,640
you to go have your fun. I know

689
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,400
I'm not going to do the social stuff

690
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,400
with you and I don't wanna hold you

691
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:28,154
back. Right? So I'm like, go, do, because

692
00:24:28,154 --> 00:24:29,934
if you can be a little bit happier,

693
00:24:29,994 --> 00:24:31,755
then our life will be a little bit

694
00:24:31,755 --> 00:24:32,255
easier,

695
00:24:32,634 --> 00:24:35,434
except then I tried to bury myself a

696
00:24:35,434 --> 00:24:38,154
bit. Yeah. And and, you know, I'm I'm

697
00:24:38,154 --> 00:24:39,214
not gonna lie.

698
00:24:39,994 --> 00:24:40,494
Usually,

699
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:43,980
usually

700
00:24:44,279 --> 00:24:45,500
I'm pretty good

701
00:24:46,759 --> 00:24:49,400
about picking up on your cues. Oh, yeah.

702
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:50,779
Usually. Alright. Usually.

703
00:24:51,319 --> 00:24:51,819
And

704
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:53,500
this

705
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:55,099
past time,

706
00:24:56,039 --> 00:24:56,539
I

707
00:24:57,345 --> 00:24:57,845
completely

708
00:24:58,545 --> 00:25:00,865
No. You had turned so far inward into

709
00:25:00,865 --> 00:25:03,585
your own head that you really and I

710
00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:05,744
think that that might have been my turning

711
00:25:05,744 --> 00:25:07,904
point because I could sense it. There were

712
00:25:07,904 --> 00:25:09,105
times I had so much going on. I

713
00:25:09,105 --> 00:25:10,384
don't have time and I hate to say

714
00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:12,220
this. This set feels awful. I didn't have

715
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:13,279
time for you. Right?

716
00:25:13,900 --> 00:25:15,519
Too much else going on. Yeah.

717
00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:17,660
But by the time I was able to

718
00:25:17,660 --> 00:25:18,400
kind of

719
00:25:19,099 --> 00:25:21,259
I never I didn't get to step back

720
00:25:21,259 --> 00:25:22,619
and look at stuff till we got to,

721
00:25:22,619 --> 00:25:25,894
like, August, September y'all. So 1st 6, 7

722
00:25:25,894 --> 00:25:27,674
months of the year, it was just sort

723
00:25:28,134 --> 00:25:30,154
of a survival mode that was getting

724
00:25:31,494 --> 00:25:33,595
increasingly harder to bear

725
00:25:34,134 --> 00:25:37,034
week after week, month after month. Mhmm. And

726
00:25:37,349 --> 00:25:39,109
it was never that I finally had this

727
00:25:39,109 --> 00:25:41,690
moment of clarity. It was when I was

728
00:25:42,470 --> 00:25:43,690
so fucking resentful.

729
00:25:44,069 --> 00:25:47,109
That is, you know Mhmm. That is my

730
00:25:47,109 --> 00:25:47,609
clue

731
00:25:47,910 --> 00:25:50,069
that we're not just disconnected. We are completely

732
00:25:50,069 --> 00:25:52,970
off kilter. Yeah. Because we Yeah.

733
00:25:53,455 --> 00:25:55,795
Actively try to have a relationship

734
00:25:56,095 --> 00:25:57,934
where there's no room for resentment to get

735
00:25:57,934 --> 00:26:00,894
built up. Because you're communicating enough, because you're

736
00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:03,215
sharing the load, because we're talking things out,

737
00:26:03,215 --> 00:26:04,515
but, you know, all and

738
00:26:06,414 --> 00:26:07,795
I recall multiple

739
00:26:10,990 --> 00:26:11,453
I recall multiple conversations sitting on our back

740
00:26:11,453 --> 00:26:12,849
patio where I'm just leaning forward,

741
00:26:13,789 --> 00:26:15,009
elbows on my knees,

742
00:26:16,109 --> 00:26:18,429
hate feeling like an awful human being because

743
00:26:18,429 --> 00:26:19,869
I was telling you I didn't think you

744
00:26:19,869 --> 00:26:20,849
were doing enough.

745
00:26:21,389 --> 00:26:22,664
I I felt guilty.

746
00:26:23,225 --> 00:26:24,605
People pleaser? Submissive.

747
00:26:24,904 --> 00:26:27,465
I don't know. Yeah. Pardon me. And and

748
00:26:27,465 --> 00:26:28,984
yet you were within every right to call

749
00:26:28,984 --> 00:26:30,265
me out on that. I know. But I

750
00:26:30,265 --> 00:26:32,825
don't like it. I know. You are my

751
00:26:32,825 --> 00:26:35,144
daddy who, you know, in my mind wears

752
00:26:35,144 --> 00:26:37,225
a superhero cape and can do no wrong.

753
00:26:37,225 --> 00:26:38,990
It's not all the kind of thought. Okay.

754
00:26:38,990 --> 00:26:40,930
Not on not in there. Not infallible.

755
00:26:41,230 --> 00:26:42,590
I know. I hate it though. I don't

756
00:26:42,750 --> 00:26:44,750
I don't What's from it? I don't wanna

757
00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:46,289
be the one to point it out.

758
00:26:47,390 --> 00:26:49,230
Somebody's gotta do it. I know. Can you

759
00:26:49,230 --> 00:26:51,809
just, like, do it for yourself next time?

760
00:26:55,055 --> 00:26:58,115
We have we are still not doing anything

761
00:26:59,054 --> 00:26:59,554
new

762
00:27:00,494 --> 00:27:00,994
or

763
00:27:01,455 --> 00:27:03,634
concrete with our power exchange beyond

764
00:27:04,255 --> 00:27:05,695
the the things we've been doing for a

765
00:27:05,695 --> 00:27:06,515
little years.

766
00:27:07,615 --> 00:27:10,200
I after our conversations in the summer and

767
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,099
you sort of

768
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,339
started going, oh, okay. I'm

769
00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:16,119
I'm I'm I'm aware, and I'm I'm paying

770
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,359
attention again. Mhmm. We had a little bit

771
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:19,160
of time where you were

772
00:27:19,799 --> 00:27:21,154
for a little bit of time, you were

773
00:27:21,154 --> 00:27:23,794
back in that dom headspace. Mhmm. You would

774
00:27:23,794 --> 00:27:25,234
tell me to do more things. You'd give

775
00:27:25,234 --> 00:27:25,634
me a couple

776
00:27:26,434 --> 00:27:28,755
within reason, and and you would always preface

777
00:27:28,755 --> 00:27:30,274
it with what have you got going on.

778
00:27:30,274 --> 00:27:31,875
But you'd give me more tasks, and we

779
00:27:31,875 --> 00:27:33,154
we had a little bit more of that.

780
00:27:33,154 --> 00:27:33,894
And then

781
00:27:34,515 --> 00:27:36,274
this has nothing to do with our stress

782
00:27:36,274 --> 00:27:37,440
levels. It's

783
00:27:37,820 --> 00:27:40,220
just the nature the fact of life of

784
00:27:40,220 --> 00:27:42,539
the how we are and what's going on.

785
00:27:42,539 --> 00:27:43,980
The closer we got to the end of

786
00:27:43,980 --> 00:27:45,900
the year, the more it was like, everybody

787
00:27:45,900 --> 00:27:47,660
just put your head down and work because

788
00:27:47,660 --> 00:27:49,420
this is the time of year when that's

789
00:27:49,420 --> 00:27:50,559
all we do. Yeah.

790
00:27:50,940 --> 00:27:51,680
And so

791
00:27:52,184 --> 00:27:53,325
past couple of months,

792
00:27:54,265 --> 00:27:55,704
you know, we had sort of a peak

793
00:27:55,704 --> 00:27:57,404
in, like, in July, August,

794
00:27:57,784 --> 00:28:00,024
and then it sort of calmed down again

795
00:28:00,024 --> 00:28:01,704
after them. Well, you know, I

796
00:28:02,505 --> 00:28:03,724
and I think while

797
00:28:04,130 --> 00:28:05,029
it is not,

798
00:28:08,450 --> 00:28:09,830
you know, the rip roaring,

799
00:28:11,650 --> 00:28:12,950
roller coaster ride

800
00:28:13,970 --> 00:28:15,190
that we had in the past,

801
00:28:15,570 --> 00:28:16,710
I I think

802
00:28:17,330 --> 00:28:18,470
to a certain extent

803
00:28:18,914 --> 00:28:19,414
finding

804
00:28:20,674 --> 00:28:22,295
the new stride. Mhmm.

805
00:28:22,595 --> 00:28:23,095
Alright.

806
00:28:24,515 --> 00:28:27,075
You know, before when when the,

807
00:28:27,475 --> 00:28:29,735
the youngest was home 247

808
00:28:30,755 --> 00:28:32,355
And he still is. He still is. I

809
00:28:32,355 --> 00:28:34,259
mean, yeah, he still is. But in the

810
00:28:34,259 --> 00:28:36,019
in the very beginning of that, it was

811
00:28:36,019 --> 00:28:37,859
like, oh my god. We're never gonna get

812
00:28:37,859 --> 00:28:39,539
to do anything again. We're never gonna be

813
00:28:39,539 --> 00:28:41,059
able to have a minute alone, Miles. And

814
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:42,440
Yes. And I think

815
00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:45,320
both of us, but I really think you

816
00:28:45,619 --> 00:28:46,519
more than me,

817
00:28:46,980 --> 00:28:48,920
because you got so stuck in your head,

818
00:28:49,664 --> 00:28:52,065
were mourning a thing we lost without realizing

819
00:28:52,065 --> 00:28:54,465
that there's always a way. You just have

820
00:28:54,465 --> 00:28:55,904
to get creative or you have to do

821
00:28:55,904 --> 00:28:57,765
it a little differently than you did before.

822
00:28:57,825 --> 00:28:59,105
And I and I think that was

823
00:29:01,105 --> 00:29:03,150
yeah. I I think it was it was

824
00:29:03,150 --> 00:29:05,710
mourning a loss instead of because we weren't

825
00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:07,470
ready at that point. No. Nor did we

826
00:29:07,470 --> 00:29:10,029
have time or energy to think creatively and

827
00:29:10,029 --> 00:29:12,190
go, what can we do instead? Right. Because

828
00:29:12,190 --> 00:29:14,509
we there was a a portion of from

829
00:29:14,509 --> 00:29:17,095
January 1st, if we're just focusing on 2024,

830
00:29:17,095 --> 00:29:20,454
from January 1st till probably about June, July,

831
00:29:20,454 --> 00:29:22,855
it was survival mode on on different levels.

832
00:29:22,855 --> 00:29:23,835
Maybe not financially,

833
00:29:24,295 --> 00:29:26,855
but as parents in our relationship, there are

834
00:29:26,855 --> 00:29:28,454
certain we were just we'll just make it

835
00:29:28,454 --> 00:29:30,454
through the fucking day. Just get through the

836
00:29:30,454 --> 00:29:33,099
day And hope it sucks a little less

837
00:29:33,099 --> 00:29:34,080
than it did yesterday.

838
00:29:36,140 --> 00:29:37,440
True. True. True. True.

839
00:29:38,220 --> 00:29:39,119
True. True. True. But

840
00:29:39,580 --> 00:29:41,039
I I I think now,

841
00:29:41,420 --> 00:29:43,740
you know, even though we have been focused

842
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:44,320
on work

843
00:29:45,274 --> 00:29:46,414
these last few months,

844
00:29:47,434 --> 00:29:49,774
also starting to find a new stride.

845
00:29:50,634 --> 00:29:52,075
I think you might be feeling that more

846
00:29:52,075 --> 00:29:54,634
than I am right now. The if I'm

847
00:29:54,634 --> 00:29:55,615
if I'm feeling

848
00:29:56,234 --> 00:29:57,595
stride might not be the word I would

849
00:29:57,595 --> 00:29:59,789
use. If I'm feeling anything a little

850
00:30:01,450 --> 00:30:05,049
bit different Mhmm. It's less in the power

851
00:30:05,049 --> 00:30:05,549
exchange

852
00:30:06,009 --> 00:30:07,869
and more I know for me personally,

853
00:30:08,329 --> 00:30:10,410
more in my baby girl self. Mhmm. And

854
00:30:10,410 --> 00:30:12,410
that's really only been the past couple weeks.

855
00:30:12,410 --> 00:30:12,825
Yeah.

856
00:30:13,625 --> 00:30:14,284
You know?

857
00:30:14,664 --> 00:30:17,304
I I think that what we if I

858
00:30:17,304 --> 00:30:19,565
were to describe anything like a stride,

859
00:30:19,865 --> 00:30:22,024
I think it's that our communication has gotten

860
00:30:22,024 --> 00:30:23,484
clear again. Yes.

861
00:30:24,184 --> 00:30:25,325
We are proactive,

862
00:30:26,220 --> 00:30:27,759
both of us, when we can see

863
00:30:28,220 --> 00:30:30,140
something on the horizon that's either gonna fuck

864
00:30:30,140 --> 00:30:30,960
with 1 of us

865
00:30:31,419 --> 00:30:33,660
or it could cause an issue if we

866
00:30:33,660 --> 00:30:36,220
don't talk about it now. Mhmm. Or, you

867
00:30:36,220 --> 00:30:37,900
know, it's a worry one of us is

868
00:30:37,900 --> 00:30:40,065
carrying and instead of just, like, holding it

869
00:30:40,065 --> 00:30:41,644
in and Yeah. You know, we go ahead

870
00:30:41,644 --> 00:30:43,805
and talk about it, I think there, we

871
00:30:43,805 --> 00:30:46,765
have we've we have the mental energy and

872
00:30:46,765 --> 00:30:49,565
space to do it. Yeah. Because the biggest

873
00:30:49,565 --> 00:30:51,404
thing going on in our lives from the

874
00:30:51,404 --> 00:30:53,325
start of the year has calmed down. The

875
00:30:53,325 --> 00:30:54,180
youngest is

876
00:30:54,820 --> 00:30:57,220
fucking thriving at this point. It's like a

877
00:30:57,220 --> 00:30:59,799
whole different kid. His physical health is

878
00:31:00,660 --> 00:31:02,820
is doing very well. His mental health is

879
00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:05,140
better. His mental health is is on a

880
00:31:05,140 --> 00:31:06,360
level even teal.

881
00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:08,180
In a way we haven't seen in probably

882
00:31:08,180 --> 00:31:09,555
a couple years. Right.

883
00:31:09,955 --> 00:31:11,634
His education is I get to be a

884
00:31:11,634 --> 00:31:13,315
lot more hands off than I'm in, and

885
00:31:13,315 --> 00:31:15,154
you are a lot more hands on Yes.

886
00:31:15,235 --> 00:31:18,055
Than you've ever been. Correct. And that leaves

887
00:31:18,115 --> 00:31:18,615
room

888
00:31:19,154 --> 00:31:21,475
to then think of other things, you know.

889
00:31:21,475 --> 00:31:23,160
Correct. There's energy and mental space

890
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,680
stride in a sense, and and maybe that's

891
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,920
not the the right word for it, but,

892
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:37,980
you know,

893
00:31:38,625 --> 00:31:39,765
have been finding

894
00:31:40,785 --> 00:31:41,924
times when

895
00:31:42,305 --> 00:31:45,424
I can express my sadist. Let the sadist

896
00:31:45,424 --> 00:31:48,065
out. Yeah. And, you know, all of it's

897
00:31:48,065 --> 00:31:48,565
intermingled.

898
00:31:49,984 --> 00:31:52,384
Who we are, it's all bits and pieces

899
00:31:52,384 --> 00:31:53,829
and they all kinda go

900
00:31:54,210 --> 00:31:55,109
together. But

901
00:31:56,130 --> 00:31:58,130
my because I am like this and I

902
00:31:58,130 --> 00:32:01,910
tend to compartmentalize stuff. Yeah. Your sadist side,

903
00:32:03,089 --> 00:32:04,150
in my mind,

904
00:32:04,690 --> 00:32:06,390
is often slightly different,

905
00:32:06,769 --> 00:32:08,894
not always, but slightly different than your dom

906
00:32:08,894 --> 00:32:11,315
side. Your dom side is the decider. Now

907
00:32:11,774 --> 00:32:14,095
does your sadist and dom come together and

908
00:32:14,095 --> 00:32:17,375
shake hands and play nicely together and abso

909
00:32:17,375 --> 00:32:18,194
fucking lily.

910
00:32:19,774 --> 00:32:20,274
Absolutely.

911
00:32:20,575 --> 00:32:21,075
Absolutely.

912
00:32:22,849 --> 00:32:24,690
And then it's, you know, I know I

913
00:32:24,690 --> 00:32:26,470
know I've got my sadistic dom

914
00:32:27,089 --> 00:32:28,710
in that moment. Mhmm.

915
00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:31,009
But the part of you that's just, like,

916
00:32:31,009 --> 00:32:33,170
the person who makes the decisions, the person

917
00:32:33,170 --> 00:32:33,670
who,

918
00:32:34,289 --> 00:32:34,789
leads,

919
00:32:35,924 --> 00:32:37,625
I tend not to think of your sadistic

920
00:32:37,684 --> 00:32:39,224
side in that moment.

921
00:32:39,765 --> 00:32:42,085
But if we're talking about your sadistic self,

922
00:32:42,085 --> 00:32:43,924
yes. Because which I think we talked about

923
00:32:43,924 --> 00:32:45,765
this last week and probably a few weeks

924
00:32:45,765 --> 00:32:47,464
before. We have finally

925
00:32:48,210 --> 00:32:50,769
figured it fucking out that a certain point

926
00:32:50,769 --> 00:32:51,509
of the day,

927
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:53,750
that kid don't hear us. Mm-mm.

928
00:32:54,130 --> 00:32:56,450
Those headphones go on. He's He doesn't know

929
00:32:56,450 --> 00:32:58,769
he exists. Talking to his friends, he's gay.

930
00:32:58,769 --> 00:33:01,355
Man, we're not, like, shrieking and screaming and,

931
00:33:01,734 --> 00:33:02,555
like, you know,

932
00:33:03,414 --> 00:33:06,455
acting like crazy people either. So Mm-mm. We

933
00:33:06,455 --> 00:33:08,375
understood trying to be a little quieter, but,

934
00:33:08,375 --> 00:33:10,214
like, we have a lot more freedom than

935
00:33:10,214 --> 00:33:13,174
we thought we did. Correct. And that is

936
00:33:13,174 --> 00:33:13,335
the

937
00:33:15,179 --> 00:33:18,059
I get frustrated because hindsight's 2020, but also

938
00:33:18,059 --> 00:33:19,500
it's like, man, we lost a lot of

939
00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:21,099
fucking time because we were so in our

940
00:33:21,099 --> 00:33:23,339
heads about it that we were just convinced

941
00:33:23,339 --> 00:33:24,859
we couldn't do things the way we had

942
00:33:24,859 --> 00:33:26,700
done them and so we did not think

943
00:33:26,700 --> 00:33:29,115
about this The way we could. Right. And

944
00:33:29,194 --> 00:33:30,714
but we also didn't have the mental space

945
00:33:30,714 --> 00:33:32,554
for that. That's true. We were in survival

946
00:33:32,554 --> 00:33:34,234
mode as parents. So We were a hot

947
00:33:34,234 --> 00:33:37,034
mess. We were. So now and that's that's

948
00:33:37,034 --> 00:33:38,554
a that's a thing that I have to

949
00:33:38,554 --> 00:33:40,660
remember that I would encourage others to try

950
00:33:40,660 --> 00:33:42,579
to remember is when you are at the

951
00:33:42,579 --> 00:33:44,200
peak of a stressful thing,

952
00:33:45,619 --> 00:33:48,180
all of your any extra energy, mental or

953
00:33:48,180 --> 00:33:49,779
physical that you have is going to that

954
00:33:49,779 --> 00:33:51,400
thing. You are not gonna think creatively

955
00:33:51,859 --> 00:33:53,424
about how you're gonna your kink on. You're

956
00:33:53,424 --> 00:33:54,805
not gonna think creatively

957
00:33:55,184 --> 00:33:57,125
about how you have a power exchange

958
00:33:57,505 --> 00:34:00,224
under brand new life circumstances that you could

959
00:34:00,224 --> 00:34:02,305
not have conceived of before and have not

960
00:34:02,305 --> 00:34:04,724
adjusted to. Yeah. And we spent,

961
00:34:05,849 --> 00:34:06,349
like,

962
00:34:06,890 --> 00:34:07,390
okay.

963
00:34:07,769 --> 00:34:09,150
It ended up being what?

964
00:34:10,170 --> 00:34:10,989
10 months

965
00:34:11,369 --> 00:34:11,869
adjusting,

966
00:34:12,730 --> 00:34:14,829
pull the kid out of public school,

967
00:34:15,369 --> 00:34:18,074
get keep educating him, deal with his health,

968
00:34:18,635 --> 00:34:21,195
realize that things weren't working. I was fighting

969
00:34:21,195 --> 00:34:23,195
my my instincts were saying, hey. You gotta

970
00:34:23,195 --> 00:34:25,034
do something different. But the part of me

971
00:34:25,034 --> 00:34:26,554
that likes to follow rules and do what's

972
00:34:26,554 --> 00:34:27,994
air quote right was like, but this is

973
00:34:27,994 --> 00:34:29,835
how you know, this has always been done.

974
00:34:29,835 --> 00:34:31,639
And so if I'm going against the grain,

975
00:34:32,019 --> 00:34:34,420
I'm surely getting it wrong and convincing you

976
00:34:34,420 --> 00:34:35,859
at the time when you were in your

977
00:34:35,859 --> 00:34:37,859
fucking head and you were just as unsure

978
00:34:37,859 --> 00:34:39,299
about how do we do this. I don't

979
00:34:39,299 --> 00:34:39,799
know.

980
00:34:40,739 --> 00:34:42,819
Once we got through that and I got

981
00:34:42,819 --> 00:34:44,864
proven right, which has been delightful,

982
00:34:47,885 --> 00:34:50,125
then the the mental space opens up and

983
00:34:50,125 --> 00:34:52,525
you can think about new things. And so,

984
00:34:52,525 --> 00:34:55,105
yes, your your sadist has has been out.

985
00:34:55,244 --> 00:34:57,164
Is it your sadist that gives me half

986
00:34:57,164 --> 00:34:58,925
a fucking butt rub and then goes, okay.

987
00:34:58,925 --> 00:35:00,650
Good night. Time to go to bed. It

988
00:35:00,650 --> 00:35:01,550
is a small.

989
00:35:03,050 --> 00:35:04,110
What the fuck?

990
00:35:05,210 --> 00:35:06,269
What the fuck?

991
00:35:09,369 --> 00:35:11,690
I thought it was a tired daddy. Like,

992
00:35:11,690 --> 00:35:13,484
I gave her what I could. This is

993
00:35:13,484 --> 00:35:15,164
all I had. Little of both. Little of

994
00:35:15,164 --> 00:35:17,264
both. No. It's your sadist.

995
00:35:19,164 --> 00:35:21,404
No wonder you're like, oh, no. Totally a

996
00:35:21,404 --> 00:35:23,105
touch of sadist side.

997
00:35:23,724 --> 00:35:25,505
I bet the hell you are.

998
00:35:34,019 --> 00:35:37,059
I just want my butt touched tonight. That's

999
00:35:37,059 --> 00:35:37,969
all I want.

1000
00:35:42,925 --> 00:35:44,605
You're way too pleased with yourself. Why does

1001
00:35:44,605 --> 00:35:46,204
it take me literal months to figure shit

1002
00:35:46,204 --> 00:35:46,704
out?

1003
00:35:47,244 --> 00:35:47,984
That's what

1004
00:35:48,684 --> 00:35:51,344
that's been an issue our whole fucking relationship.

1005
00:35:51,804 --> 00:35:54,385
You're over there being a sadistic sadist

1006
00:35:55,359 --> 00:35:56,739
bastard and I'm like,

1007
00:35:57,839 --> 00:35:59,679
I guess my daddy just doesn't have time

1008
00:35:59,679 --> 00:36:00,420
or so.

1009
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,480
And then one day, like a fucking light

1010
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:04,339
bulb, it got brighter in there

1011
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,260
when it's oh, fuck.

1012
00:36:09,644 --> 00:36:11,664
So no wonder you're in a stride.

1013
00:36:13,565 --> 00:36:15,405
I'm over here. Go ahead. Just can somebody

1014
00:36:15,405 --> 00:36:16,545
please touch my butt?

1015
00:36:20,605 --> 00:36:21,105
Goddamn.

1016
00:36:22,700 --> 00:36:24,559
Have you been mind fucking me again?

1017
00:36:24,940 --> 00:36:27,420
See, anybody who's, like, gone back in the

1018
00:36:27,420 --> 00:36:29,340
archive or been with us for a few

1019
00:36:29,340 --> 00:36:29,840
years

1020
00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:33,099
can probably think back to times when in

1021
00:36:33,099 --> 00:36:35,039
the middle of an episode, I'm like, wait.

1022
00:36:35,344 --> 00:36:37,744
Was that a mind fuck? And he laughs

1023
00:36:37,744 --> 00:36:38,964
just like that. And

1024
00:36:41,025 --> 00:36:43,264
I don't wanna be naive. I mean, okay.

1025
00:36:43,264 --> 00:36:45,125
I really don't. But clearly,

1026
00:36:46,065 --> 00:36:47,670
when it comes to you, I am.

1027
00:36:48,069 --> 00:36:49,510
Have you been mind fucking me with butt

1028
00:36:49,510 --> 00:36:51,429
rubs? Is that is that what has been

1029
00:36:51,429 --> 00:36:51,929
happening?

1030
00:36:53,670 --> 00:36:55,670
Have I been edged? Are you edging me

1031
00:36:55,670 --> 00:36:56,650
with butt rubs?

1032
00:36:58,710 --> 00:37:00,250
Well, you know, it's the dumb

1033
00:37:00,945 --> 00:37:03,105
creed that no. The creed that, you know,

1034
00:37:03,105 --> 00:37:04,565
you always leave and wanna warn.

1035
00:37:05,825 --> 00:37:06,325
Dude.

1036
00:37:09,905 --> 00:37:12,545
Baby girls cannot survive off half a butt

1037
00:37:12,545 --> 00:37:13,844
rub alone. Okay?

1038
00:37:16,219 --> 00:37:17,440
You gotta balance

1039
00:37:19,579 --> 00:37:20,960
it. It's been unbalanced.

1040
00:37:22,219 --> 00:37:22,719
One

1041
00:37:23,420 --> 00:37:24,400
half spanking

1042
00:37:24,699 --> 00:37:27,359
every 10 business days is not enough.

1043
00:37:32,454 --> 00:37:33,114
Just saying.

1044
00:37:34,375 --> 00:37:36,215
That leads me into the I think I've

1045
00:37:36,215 --> 00:37:38,375
been feeling my baby girl's self a lot

1046
00:37:38,375 --> 00:37:40,715
more. You have. You have.

1047
00:37:41,255 --> 00:37:43,355
You have. There's been a few times

1048
00:37:44,010 --> 00:37:45,949
lately now that I'm like,

1049
00:37:47,289 --> 00:37:48,909
do you really want wine?

1050
00:37:49,369 --> 00:37:50,969
Yes. Yes. I do. I've got to let

1051
00:37:50,969 --> 00:37:54,170
this out somehow, someway. Yeah. You know, that

1052
00:37:54,329 --> 00:37:56,590
I I have noticed that about myself,

1053
00:37:58,184 --> 00:37:59,864
over the years, and and this year is

1054
00:37:59,864 --> 00:38:02,344
just an example of it. Mhmm. When things

1055
00:38:02,344 --> 00:38:04,425
get stressful and I just sort of lock

1056
00:38:04,425 --> 00:38:06,344
that side of myself away because there's no

1057
00:38:06,344 --> 00:38:08,025
time, there's no room, there's no space. I

1058
00:38:08,025 --> 00:38:09,164
got shit to do.

1059
00:38:09,730 --> 00:38:11,349
You know? I've got to be a functioning

1060
00:38:11,410 --> 00:38:13,650
adult to the most of my ability. Yeah.

1061
00:38:13,650 --> 00:38:15,489
Right? So the baby girl side kinda gets

1062
00:38:15,489 --> 00:38:17,650
locked away. I don't get playful. I stay

1063
00:38:17,650 --> 00:38:18,390
very serious,

1064
00:38:19,010 --> 00:38:20,390
very resting bitch face.

1065
00:38:22,289 --> 00:38:24,525
The first way it starts coming out when

1066
00:38:24,525 --> 00:38:27,244
I'm I feel like it's safe, air quote,

1067
00:38:27,244 --> 00:38:29,085
that, whatever that fucking means at any given

1068
00:38:29,085 --> 00:38:32,304
time, is whining. It's complaining. It's allowing myself

1069
00:38:33,085 --> 00:38:35,644
to fucking complain. But to do it in

1070
00:38:35,644 --> 00:38:36,224
a way

1071
00:38:36,525 --> 00:38:37,025
that

1072
00:38:37,929 --> 00:38:40,170
can still be semi playful, that can still

1073
00:38:40,170 --> 00:38:42,429
be and you know, is that

1074
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:45,929
that leads to a question that I don't

1075
00:38:45,929 --> 00:38:47,610
have any answers to nor do I even

1076
00:38:47,610 --> 00:38:50,570
think I care to try to deconstruct of.

1077
00:38:50,570 --> 00:38:53,210
Is my baby girl side, the whining side

1078
00:38:53,210 --> 00:38:53,710
especially,

1079
00:38:54,785 --> 00:38:55,525
is it

1080
00:38:55,905 --> 00:38:56,565
a less

1081
00:38:57,345 --> 00:39:00,164
aggressive, maybe even a passive aggressive way

1082
00:39:00,704 --> 00:39:04,244
of letting my negative feelings out? Because

1083
00:39:04,865 --> 00:39:08,005
in our dynamic, at least, me being whiny

1084
00:39:08,625 --> 00:39:09,125
is

1085
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:10,859
more acceptable

1086
00:39:11,559 --> 00:39:13,420
and will not lead to a fight

1087
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,659
or a disagreement or an argument,

1088
00:39:16,119 --> 00:39:17,880
unlike if I come to you and go,

1089
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,400
let me tell you, this is some fucking

1090
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,420
bullshit she said respectively,

1091
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:22,780
respectfully

1092
00:39:23,079 --> 00:39:23,820
and submissively.

1093
00:39:28,204 --> 00:39:29,505
Yeah. You know? And

1094
00:39:29,804 --> 00:39:31,565
I don't think it's a passive I don't

1095
00:39:31,724 --> 00:39:33,164
I I would I would take back the

1096
00:39:33,164 --> 00:39:34,784
passive aggressive part.

1097
00:39:35,085 --> 00:39:36,384
I think it is

1098
00:39:36,924 --> 00:39:38,764
the part of me that feels safe to

1099
00:39:38,764 --> 00:39:39,984
complain Mhmm.

1100
00:39:40,369 --> 00:39:42,369
Is when I I get whiny about it.

1101
00:39:42,369 --> 00:39:43,750
Because here's what I've noticed,

1102
00:39:44,369 --> 00:39:45,110
you will,

1103
00:39:46,050 --> 00:39:48,289
not always, because we're not always in sync.

1104
00:39:48,289 --> 00:39:48,789
Mhmm.

1105
00:39:49,090 --> 00:39:51,110
But typically, you will respond

1106
00:39:51,570 --> 00:39:54,434
like a daddy, sadistic daddy, bratty daddy. I

1107
00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:55,635
don't know which one I'm getting on a

1108
00:39:55,635 --> 00:39:58,114
given date. But if I let loose in

1109
00:39:58,114 --> 00:39:58,855
that way,

1110
00:39:59,235 --> 00:40:03,015
you'll give me a teasing daddy response. Mhmm.

1111
00:40:03,474 --> 00:40:05,015
And then within

1112
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,159
not that long of a time frame, never

1113
00:40:08,159 --> 00:40:09,920
more than a week, probably not even a

1114
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:10,739
a full day,

1115
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:12,420
you're

1116
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:16,000
either seeing the problem and taking action and

1117
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,079
taking care of it, or we're having the

1118
00:40:18,079 --> 00:40:19,065
conversation about

1119
00:40:19,864 --> 00:40:21,385
what do you need? What's going on? Whatever

1120
00:40:21,385 --> 00:40:21,885
whatever.

1121
00:40:24,744 --> 00:40:26,505
Yes. I should use my big girl voice

1122
00:40:26,505 --> 00:40:28,264
and just say I'm unhappy right now. But

1123
00:40:28,264 --> 00:40:30,605
it's sometimes it's it just feels freaking good.

1124
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:32,860
I I don't like this.

1125
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:36,860
It's clear what I mean.

1126
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,340
It I'm I am clearly communicating.

1127
00:40:40,119 --> 00:40:41,420
Hard not to get that

1128
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,219
hard not to get that meaning.

1129
00:40:46,855 --> 00:40:47,914
Exactly. Yeah.

1130
00:40:49,015 --> 00:40:50,715
Once I have the time

1131
00:40:51,494 --> 00:40:53,655
and the space and the energy and the

1132
00:40:53,655 --> 00:40:55,515
safety and the whatever whatever whatever

1133
00:40:56,055 --> 00:40:57,515
to let myself whine,

1134
00:40:58,375 --> 00:41:00,610
then I can go the other way. Yeah.

1135
00:41:00,989 --> 00:41:03,489
And it's the past few months,

1136
00:41:03,869 --> 00:41:05,630
it's my baby girl side has come out

1137
00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:09,170
more than even I think I have realized

1138
00:41:09,230 --> 00:41:10,210
because at night,

1139
00:41:10,829 --> 00:41:12,110
when we're trying to go to bed and

1140
00:41:12,110 --> 00:41:13,090
I get my zoomies.

1141
00:41:13,864 --> 00:41:16,984
Yeah. Oh, god. Yeah. I don't even think

1142
00:41:16,984 --> 00:41:19,065
I could describe to you what is happening

1143
00:41:19,065 --> 00:41:21,164
in that bed. None of it's sexual.

1144
00:41:21,545 --> 00:41:22,924
It is all ridiculously

1145
00:41:23,224 --> 00:41:23,724
silly.

1146
00:41:24,424 --> 00:41:26,820
Last night, we were both laughing so hard

1147
00:41:26,820 --> 00:41:29,460
we were crying. Oh, god. I and and

1148
00:41:29,460 --> 00:41:30,360
if I tried

1149
00:41:30,660 --> 00:41:31,800
to explain it,

1150
00:41:32,420 --> 00:41:34,420
how you would think I needed to be

1151
00:41:34,420 --> 00:41:36,579
committed somewhere. It would not make any sense.

1152
00:41:36,579 --> 00:41:38,519
So I'm not even gonna try. Just know

1153
00:41:38,765 --> 00:41:40,864
it gets goofy. Mhmm. It gets goofy

1154
00:41:41,244 --> 00:41:42,925
because you know what? And I was I've

1155
00:41:42,925 --> 00:41:44,065
been thinking about this.

1156
00:41:44,605 --> 00:41:46,844
That time of night Mhmm. When we're both

1157
00:41:46,844 --> 00:41:48,525
in a head space where if I get

1158
00:41:48,525 --> 00:41:49,025
silly,

1159
00:41:49,405 --> 00:41:51,565
you you feed off that energy. Because some

1160
00:41:51,565 --> 00:41:53,260
nights, no no no no no. No. No.

1161
00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:55,340
No. No. No. He's not feeding off the

1162
00:41:55,340 --> 00:41:57,739
energy. He's not feeding off anything. No. No.

1163
00:41:57,739 --> 00:41:59,260
No. No. No. No. And I get the

1164
00:41:59,260 --> 00:42:01,680
I get the message really fucking quick.

1165
00:42:01,980 --> 00:42:03,360
Just let let's go to sleep.

1166
00:42:04,380 --> 00:42:04,880
But

1167
00:42:06,220 --> 00:42:08,235
the nights you feed off

1168
00:42:09,195 --> 00:42:11,355
the energy, where was I going with that

1169
00:42:11,355 --> 00:42:12,635
fucking hell? I hate it when I do

1170
00:42:12,635 --> 00:42:13,135
that.

1171
00:42:13,434 --> 00:42:14,875
I had a whole thought and then my

1172
00:42:14,875 --> 00:42:15,375
own

1173
00:42:15,755 --> 00:42:16,255
Uh-uh.

1174
00:42:17,275 --> 00:42:18,815
Brain sidetracked me.

1175
00:42:20,394 --> 00:42:21,614
It might be gone forever.

1176
00:42:21,914 --> 00:42:23,215
It might be gone forever.

1177
00:42:24,449 --> 00:42:25,429
But, no, we're

1178
00:42:25,730 --> 00:42:28,070
we're playful in that moment. Yeah.

1179
00:42:28,449 --> 00:42:30,690
And we are it's because that's where I

1180
00:42:30,690 --> 00:42:31,969
was. It's because it's the end of the

1181
00:42:31,969 --> 00:42:34,769
day and, yes, the stressors are all still

1182
00:42:34,769 --> 00:42:37,589
there Mhmm. But it's this time where

1183
00:42:38,210 --> 00:42:40,424
nobody is asking for anything. Right.

1184
00:42:40,724 --> 00:42:43,065
There there's no to do list. There's no

1185
00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:43,625
responsibilities.

1186
00:42:44,005 --> 00:42:46,085
We're just laying in the fucking bed. Phone's

1187
00:42:46,085 --> 00:42:46,824
not ringing.

1188
00:42:47,125 --> 00:42:50,585
Nobody's knocking at the door. Nobody's yeah. Right.

1189
00:42:50,724 --> 00:42:53,304
And in that quiet time,

1190
00:42:54,819 --> 00:42:56,980
some days not all, we can both kind

1191
00:42:56,980 --> 00:42:58,519
of just relax and just

1192
00:42:59,539 --> 00:43:01,480
be together. And when we are,

1193
00:43:01,859 --> 00:43:03,400
I think at our most relaxed,

1194
00:43:03,940 --> 00:43:06,885
our least stressed out, we are very silly

1195
00:43:07,045 --> 00:43:07,864
human beings.

1196
00:43:08,724 --> 00:43:10,425
Excuse me. This baby got a bubble.

1197
00:43:11,125 --> 00:43:13,445
I do. We are very when in those

1198
00:43:13,445 --> 00:43:16,405
moments, we are very silly human beings. Oh,

1199
00:43:16,405 --> 00:43:16,905
yeah.

1200
00:43:17,525 --> 00:43:19,764
Yeah. And, you know, I I'm

1201
00:43:20,539 --> 00:43:22,239
maybe that's kind of what's gotten

1202
00:43:23,099 --> 00:43:25,739
me personally through the past several months because

1203
00:43:25,739 --> 00:43:26,639
we haven't had,

1204
00:43:26,940 --> 00:43:27,599
you know,

1205
00:43:28,699 --> 00:43:30,940
we haven't done deepened our power exchange at

1206
00:43:30,940 --> 00:43:33,164
all, and we haven't played a lot. And,

1207
00:43:33,405 --> 00:43:35,804
you know, I have not really felt my

1208
00:43:35,804 --> 00:43:37,425
baby girl self.

1209
00:43:38,125 --> 00:43:39,804
It's been a while. It's been a while.

1210
00:43:40,765 --> 00:43:42,925
But in those moments, I don't usually classify

1211
00:43:42,925 --> 00:43:44,204
it as that. But if I'm when I

1212
00:43:44,204 --> 00:43:45,965
think back on the behavior and the way

1213
00:43:45,965 --> 00:43:48,070
my voice sounds and the way we respond

1214
00:43:48,070 --> 00:43:49,909
to one another, I'm like, no. That's that's

1215
00:43:49,909 --> 00:43:50,409
classic.

1216
00:43:51,109 --> 00:43:53,130
That's classic daddy and baby girl.

1217
00:43:53,670 --> 00:43:55,750
But I I I get why too. Everything

1218
00:43:55,750 --> 00:43:56,969
else has to, like,

1219
00:43:57,590 --> 00:44:00,150
fall away Yeah. In order to have that

1220
00:44:00,150 --> 00:44:02,554
moment. Reach that space. Yeah. Mhmm. Yep.

1221
00:44:03,255 --> 00:44:04,474
Mhmm. Yep. Yep.

1222
00:44:05,175 --> 00:44:07,014
If you are in a power exchange where

1223
00:44:07,014 --> 00:44:08,635
you get to go to bed with your

1224
00:44:09,094 --> 00:44:09,914
your other,

1225
00:44:10,614 --> 00:44:12,934
at any I highly recommend being silly as

1226
00:44:12,934 --> 00:44:13,153
fuck. Right? Where you sleep? If one of

1227
00:44:13,153 --> 00:44:13,221
you get zoomies and it's not harmful to

1228
00:44:13,221 --> 00:44:13,755
the other, I would just

1229
00:44:16,775 --> 00:44:17,070
take

1230
00:44:23,949 --> 00:44:26,130
few times we have laughed so hard.

1231
00:44:27,070 --> 00:44:30,050
We've cried. Yeah. We've just cried. Yep.

1232
00:44:30,764 --> 00:44:33,324
That feels really good. Last night felt really

1233
00:44:33,644 --> 00:44:35,424
It did. Good. It did.

1234
00:44:37,724 --> 00:44:40,065
I was laughing so hard, it hurt. Yes.

1235
00:44:40,125 --> 00:44:40,625
Yes.

1236
00:44:41,244 --> 00:44:42,605
And in the middle of it, I'm like,

1237
00:44:42,605 --> 00:44:44,489
when was the last time it was like

1238
00:44:44,489 --> 00:44:46,809
this? Mhmm. It's been more frequent over the

1239
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:49,610
past few weeks. But prior to, like, this

1240
00:44:49,610 --> 00:44:52,489
sort of maybe 6 to 8 week time

1241
00:44:52,489 --> 00:44:54,010
frame, I think it had been a few

1242
00:44:54,010 --> 00:44:54,989
months Yeah.

1243
00:44:55,369 --> 00:44:57,449
Easily. You know, since it had been that

1244
00:44:57,449 --> 00:44:59,305
way. Or it had just been really, really

1245
00:44:59,305 --> 00:44:59,805
infrequent.

1246
00:45:04,744 --> 00:45:06,445
What else would you say about the

1247
00:45:07,065 --> 00:45:08,525
state of our power exchange

1248
00:45:09,224 --> 00:45:10,445
over the past year?

1249
00:45:15,110 --> 00:45:16,650
It's been a bumpy ride.

1250
00:45:16,950 --> 00:45:17,610
I mean,

1251
00:45:17,989 --> 00:45:19,829
the whole damn time has been hella. Yeah.

1252
00:45:19,829 --> 00:45:22,630
It has. You know, I don't I'm I'm

1253
00:45:22,630 --> 00:45:24,630
done trying to predict what the fuck's gonna

1254
00:45:24,630 --> 00:45:26,465
happen next because I don't have a fucking

1255
00:45:26,465 --> 00:45:26,965
clue

1256
00:45:27,505 --> 00:45:29,105
life has taught me that in the past

1257
00:45:29,105 --> 00:45:29,844
few years.

1258
00:45:31,265 --> 00:45:32,144
But the thing that I

1259
00:45:32,864 --> 00:45:34,945
outside of our our power exchange and just

1260
00:45:34,945 --> 00:45:37,184
the life in general and the relationship with

1261
00:45:37,184 --> 00:45:39,425
which in which we live and try to

1262
00:45:39,425 --> 00:45:40,500
live our dynamic.

1263
00:45:41,599 --> 00:45:43,519
The thing I noticed this year is there

1264
00:45:43,519 --> 00:45:46,239
were there were absolutely times outside of parenting,

1265
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:47,300
outside of all that,

1266
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:49,599
where we were on edge and we were

1267
00:45:49,599 --> 00:45:51,380
very freaked out and we were like,

1268
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,680
oh, shit. What do we do? And a

1269
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,015
lot of it was the culmination of all

1270
00:45:56,015 --> 00:45:58,414
the crazy shit that happened for 2 or

1271
00:45:58,414 --> 00:45:59,635
3 years. Mhmm.

1272
00:46:02,015 --> 00:46:04,655
And there were absolutely times earlier this year

1273
00:46:04,655 --> 00:46:05,875
I was like, fucking

1274
00:46:06,894 --> 00:46:08,575
are we gonna make it? Like and not

1275
00:46:08,575 --> 00:46:10,355
relationship wise, but, like,

1276
00:46:10,779 --> 00:46:11,279
business,

1277
00:46:11,659 --> 00:46:12,159
house,

1278
00:46:12,859 --> 00:46:14,699
lifestyle. Like, are we can do we even

1279
00:46:14,699 --> 00:46:16,299
know what the fuck we're doing? None of

1280
00:46:16,299 --> 00:46:17,420
us know what the fuck we're doing. Let's

1281
00:46:17,420 --> 00:46:19,420
just all admit that. We're all making it

1282
00:46:19,420 --> 00:46:20,480
up as we go along.

1283
00:46:21,989 --> 00:46:24,554
But by the towards the end of the

1284
00:46:24,554 --> 00:46:25,454
summer and

1285
00:46:25,755 --> 00:46:29,034
into where we're at now Mhmm. I feel

1286
00:46:29,034 --> 00:46:29,534
like

1287
00:46:29,994 --> 00:46:30,894
we've had

1288
00:46:31,275 --> 00:46:32,335
very good luck

1289
00:46:32,715 --> 00:46:33,215
of

1290
00:46:33,914 --> 00:46:35,914
not getting it wrong. And we made some

1291
00:46:35,914 --> 00:46:37,454
decisions that have actually

1292
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,160
are help are actively helping us. Yeah. We

1293
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:44,280
had all that crazy, mostly financial shit, but

1294
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:46,280
personal and mental health shit for 2 to

1295
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:47,019
3 years.

1296
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:49,320
It culminated right at the end of last

1297
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:50,619
year, early this year

1298
00:46:51,014 --> 00:46:52,795
in very stressful ways.

1299
00:46:53,094 --> 00:46:54,714
Really? Make you wonder,

1300
00:46:55,014 --> 00:46:56,775
why does anybody have to be an adult?

1301
00:46:56,775 --> 00:46:57,994
This sucks. Yeah.

1302
00:46:59,974 --> 00:47:02,054
And, you know, I think we we did

1303
00:47:02,375 --> 00:47:04,454
and we will probably forever battle that self

1304
00:47:04,454 --> 00:47:06,030
doubt because we had so many ideas of

1305
00:47:06,030 --> 00:47:07,949
what was gonna fix our life, and none

1306
00:47:07,949 --> 00:47:09,550
of them fucking worked. None of it did

1307
00:47:09,550 --> 00:47:12,130
a thing. No. Sometimes made it worse. Yep.

1308
00:47:12,590 --> 00:47:13,809
Fuck times. Mhmm.

1309
00:47:15,070 --> 00:47:17,090
But we hit a point where we were,

1310
00:47:18,054 --> 00:47:19,974
you know, we got it right somehow. Pure

1311
00:47:19,974 --> 00:47:22,795
fucking luck. Mhmm. And now I feel like

1312
00:47:22,855 --> 00:47:24,695
something else will happen. That's just life. Like,

1313
00:47:24,695 --> 00:47:26,215
something will come out of nowhere, and I

1314
00:47:26,215 --> 00:47:27,494
don't know what the fuck will happen, and

1315
00:47:27,494 --> 00:47:28,235
we'll just

1316
00:47:28,614 --> 00:47:30,315
survive it as best we can.

1317
00:47:31,590 --> 00:47:33,130
But I do feel like

1318
00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:35,130
we're in a better

1319
00:47:35,430 --> 00:47:35,930
place

1320
00:47:36,869 --> 00:47:38,950
financially and, you know, in our life, but

1321
00:47:38,950 --> 00:47:41,769
also with, you know, as individuals,

1322
00:47:42,390 --> 00:47:44,730
maybe mental health wise and certainly together

1323
00:47:45,164 --> 00:47:47,005
in our relationship, I feel like we're in

1324
00:47:47,005 --> 00:47:48,605
one of the best places we've been for

1325
00:47:48,605 --> 00:47:51,244
a while. It absolutely. I I agree with

1326
00:47:51,244 --> 00:47:52,385
that wholeheartedly.

1327
00:47:54,204 --> 00:47:57,105
You know, there there have been some things

1328
00:47:57,900 --> 00:47:59,839
this coming into this fall

1329
00:48:00,139 --> 00:48:00,639
that,

1330
00:48:03,579 --> 00:48:05,260
kind of look like it's gonna be a

1331
00:48:05,260 --> 00:48:06,780
wrap up of some things that have been

1332
00:48:06,780 --> 00:48:07,280
hanging

1333
00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:09,739
Yes. For a while. And then we can

1334
00:48:09,739 --> 00:48:11,420
fix some things that have been hanging over

1335
00:48:11,420 --> 00:48:12,480
us for a while.

1336
00:48:12,940 --> 00:48:14,375
And, you know,

1337
00:48:15,875 --> 00:48:17,554
because of what the last 2 years have

1338
00:48:17,554 --> 00:48:18,295
taught me,

1339
00:48:21,554 --> 00:48:23,875
I am happy to see things moving in

1340
00:48:23,875 --> 00:48:24,695
that direction.

1341
00:48:29,210 --> 00:48:31,069
But I am going to be

1342
00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,630
a little bit cynical. Mhmm.

1343
00:48:34,969 --> 00:48:36,730
I think we need to be. Until the

1344
00:48:36,730 --> 00:48:38,650
the the i's are dotted and the t's

1345
00:48:38,650 --> 00:48:40,250
are crossed. Well, and I think we're gonna

1346
00:48:40,250 --> 00:48:42,889
stay cynical for after that. Even when that

1347
00:48:42,889 --> 00:48:44,954
culminates. No. We're not talking about it. Sure.

1348
00:48:44,954 --> 00:48:46,575
We know we're teases. It's fine.

1349
00:48:47,835 --> 00:48:50,735
Because we had we made so many decisions

1350
00:48:50,875 --> 00:48:51,695
based on

1351
00:48:52,315 --> 00:48:52,815
unfounded

1352
00:48:53,195 --> 00:48:53,695
optimism

1353
00:48:54,155 --> 00:48:56,075
Yeah. That I think we've become cynical just

1354
00:48:56,075 --> 00:48:58,155
in general. I don't think we believe anything

1355
00:48:58,155 --> 00:49:00,280
until we see it, which is not Yeah.

1356
00:49:00,359 --> 00:49:03,019
The worst thing. But as an eternal optimist,

1357
00:49:03,799 --> 00:49:05,639
I struggle. I wanna believe in shit before

1358
00:49:05,639 --> 00:49:06,780
it happens. Yeah.

1359
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,920
But I think it's made us more cautious

1360
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:11,739
too. Yeah. And and, you know, I I,

1361
00:49:12,519 --> 00:49:13,819
I'm gonna say it.

1362
00:49:14,964 --> 00:49:17,625
I I really think, you know, now

1363
00:49:19,284 --> 00:49:21,364
I I I know life has been consumed

1364
00:49:21,364 --> 00:49:23,844
by work lately, but, you know, some of

1365
00:49:23,844 --> 00:49:25,065
this stuff

1366
00:49:25,525 --> 00:49:27,625
quieting down has given me

1367
00:49:28,019 --> 00:49:30,920
some time to think Mhmm. And and retrospect

1368
00:49:31,140 --> 00:49:32,119
on some of it.

1369
00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:34,579
And and I realize now, you know, while

1370
00:49:34,579 --> 00:49:36,739
I say I I there was a a

1371
00:49:36,739 --> 00:49:38,920
while there I was doubting my decisions,

1372
00:49:39,940 --> 00:49:41,000
I also realized

1373
00:49:41,954 --> 00:49:44,515
now, after after looking back on some of

1374
00:49:44,515 --> 00:49:45,015
it,

1375
00:49:45,555 --> 00:49:46,934
there was no good decision

1376
00:49:47,235 --> 00:49:48,835
to be made on some of this. Yes.

1377
00:49:48,835 --> 00:49:51,474
There was there's only terrible decisions and you

1378
00:49:51,474 --> 00:49:53,075
just had to go, can I live with

1379
00:49:53,075 --> 00:49:54,695
the outcome of this one? Right.

1380
00:49:54,994 --> 00:49:57,015
And and that and that's kind of,

1381
00:49:57,599 --> 00:49:59,519
you know, and it it didn't matter how

1382
00:49:59,519 --> 00:50:01,280
much we had talked about and what we

1383
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,780
did. You know, the the outcome was

1384
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:06,800
Right. Not optimal in any way. I know.

1385
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:08,800
And I I think that I think that

1386
00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:10,720
was a knock to our confidence to realize

1387
00:50:10,720 --> 00:50:11,295
that though.

1388
00:50:11,855 --> 00:50:14,335
You know? Because I'm an internal optimist and

1389
00:50:14,335 --> 00:50:15,775
you're a I'm a fixer too, but you're

1390
00:50:15,775 --> 00:50:19,315
a fixer and in charge, which you are

1391
00:50:19,454 --> 00:50:21,795
through the consent of the governed. But,

1392
00:50:23,295 --> 00:50:26,494
you know, if when your confidence gets rocked

1393
00:50:26,494 --> 00:50:28,550
like that, it's, you know, for me, it's

1394
00:50:28,550 --> 00:50:30,010
hard to be an to be optimistic.

1395
00:50:30,309 --> 00:50:31,910
Not always a bad thing. Sometimes I need

1396
00:50:31,910 --> 00:50:33,750
to be a little less optimistic. Let's I

1397
00:50:33,750 --> 00:50:34,730
need to be realistic.

1398
00:50:36,070 --> 00:50:38,410
But, you know, if you can't fix it,

1399
00:50:38,964 --> 00:50:41,364
that kills your confidence. Yeah. If you make

1400
00:50:41,364 --> 00:50:43,444
decisions and they don't pan out in the

1401
00:50:43,444 --> 00:50:46,244
best possible scenario that everybody hoped for, which

1402
00:50:46,244 --> 00:50:48,085
they were never going to looking back on

1403
00:50:48,085 --> 00:50:50,425
them, that kills your confidence. Like, how

1404
00:50:51,039 --> 00:50:53,599
how could you make decisions when all you

1405
00:50:53,599 --> 00:50:55,139
had were bad choices?

1406
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,199
Right. Like, a choice had to be made.

1407
00:50:57,199 --> 00:50:59,139
Yeah. There were no good ones.

1408
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:00,659
It was,

1409
00:51:01,759 --> 00:51:04,315
what will maybe fuck us up the least?

1410
00:51:04,315 --> 00:51:05,454
Least. Yeah.

1411
00:51:06,715 --> 00:51:08,235
Mhmm. Mhmm. And you know what? You know

1412
00:51:08,235 --> 00:51:09,994
what? Came down to. Yeah. Some of those

1413
00:51:09,994 --> 00:51:11,835
choices that you really wrestled with that I

1414
00:51:11,835 --> 00:51:13,275
was like, I support you. This is what

1415
00:51:13,275 --> 00:51:14,715
we're gonna do. I'm here. I think this

1416
00:51:14,715 --> 00:51:16,335
is right, but whatever you wanna do.

1417
00:51:16,739 --> 00:51:18,420
Man, sometimes it's kinda nice to be able

1418
00:51:18,420 --> 00:51:20,119
to go, you know, you're the designer.

1419
00:51:23,219 --> 00:51:24,519
I always give my opinion

1420
00:51:25,059 --> 00:51:26,739
and I always go, I will back you.

1421
00:51:26,739 --> 00:51:28,840
You know? Yeah. I I'm with you. But

1422
00:51:29,139 --> 00:51:31,905
you had so much of that,

1423
00:51:32,525 --> 00:51:34,625
you know, that of of course

1424
00:51:35,324 --> 00:51:38,065
you didn't trust your own decision making. Yeah.

1425
00:51:38,284 --> 00:51:39,264
And I think it's

1426
00:51:39,644 --> 00:51:41,644
not easy to see in the moment when

1427
00:51:41,644 --> 00:51:43,639
all you have are bad choices. Because Yeah.

1428
00:51:43,920 --> 00:51:45,519
Especially if you have an optimistic bone in

1429
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:46,880
your body, you're probably going, but wait, there

1430
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:48,239
if I just keep thinking on it a

1431
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:49,940
little bit harder, the perfect

1432
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,179
wonderful solution that makes everything,

1433
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:54,019
kittens and rainbows,

1434
00:51:54,639 --> 00:51:55,460
will happen.

1435
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,579
Like, just do that one. It it doesn't.

1436
00:51:58,775 --> 00:52:01,255
It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. Ain't gonna

1437
00:52:01,255 --> 00:52:03,015
happen. You can wait till the cows come

1438
00:52:03,015 --> 00:52:06,375
home. But those least bad options, as painful

1439
00:52:06,375 --> 00:52:08,454
as some of them are Yeah. Because it

1440
00:52:08,454 --> 00:52:10,375
really knocked your sense of self worth in

1441
00:52:10,375 --> 00:52:11,675
who you are as an adult.

1442
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:13,960
Because you had a story in your head

1443
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:15,820
of I've never been in this situation.

1444
00:52:16,119 --> 00:52:18,599
I've never had to do this. Yeah. You

1445
00:52:18,599 --> 00:52:20,840
know, as an adult, I've always found us

1446
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:22,280
blah blah blah blah. And I'm over here

1447
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:23,400
going, no. No. No. I've lived this life.

1448
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,420
Let me tell you, you will survive it.

1449
00:52:26,375 --> 00:52:27,914
You will survive it. Oh, boy.

1450
00:52:29,574 --> 00:52:30,795
You know, I

1451
00:52:31,335 --> 00:52:33,494
I think part of what might be helping

1452
00:52:33,494 --> 00:52:36,855
us feel better is we made the least

1453
00:52:36,855 --> 00:52:38,554
shitty decision we could.

1454
00:52:39,190 --> 00:52:40,010
And it's

1455
00:52:40,789 --> 00:52:42,710
it had to be really tough to start

1456
00:52:42,710 --> 00:52:45,510
it, and now it's turning to bear fruit.

1457
00:52:45,510 --> 00:52:46,489
Yes. Yeah.

1458
00:52:46,869 --> 00:52:47,369
Yep.

1459
00:52:49,510 --> 00:52:51,289
You know, and and that's that's,

1460
00:52:52,824 --> 00:52:53,965
yeah, what a year.

1461
00:52:55,224 --> 00:52:57,465
Mhmm. I feel like this year was a

1462
00:52:57,465 --> 00:52:58,605
year of

1463
00:52:59,945 --> 00:53:00,445
finding

1464
00:53:01,545 --> 00:53:02,925
I don't wanna say balance,

1465
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:04,125
but finding

1466
00:53:07,589 --> 00:53:09,369
the least stressful of

1467
00:53:09,989 --> 00:53:13,190
chaos. Like, the chaos calmed down enough because

1468
00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:15,989
we got used to it Mhmm. And found

1469
00:53:15,989 --> 00:53:16,889
our way through.

1470
00:53:17,765 --> 00:53:19,385
I'd love to say 2025

1471
00:53:19,765 --> 00:53:22,025
will be the year we thrive because everybody's

1472
00:53:22,085 --> 00:53:24,565
fucking saying that because thriving 5. We're like

1473
00:53:26,164 --> 00:53:28,025
I I am reluctant to be that,

1474
00:53:28,724 --> 00:53:30,965
you know, optimistic about it. But I do

1475
00:53:30,965 --> 00:53:33,640
think that we are finally barring any weird

1476
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:35,500
shit that could happen that we don't control.

1477
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:37,099
I think we're

1478
00:53:37,640 --> 00:53:40,199
on a better path than we have been

1479
00:53:40,199 --> 00:53:40,699
on.

1480
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,019
We are in a better space mentally

1481
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:44,840
at this time this year than we were

1482
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,025
a full year ago. Yeah. Like, that was

1483
00:53:47,264 --> 00:53:49,425
we were we were wrecked. We didn't know

1484
00:53:49,425 --> 00:53:50,545
what the fuck we were doing and what

1485
00:53:50,545 --> 00:53:51,744
was happening and how we're gonna

1486
00:53:52,864 --> 00:53:54,464
and I don't feel like that's where we're

1487
00:53:54,464 --> 00:53:56,464
at. Yeah. Which means if if we can

1488
00:53:56,464 --> 00:53:58,804
be fortunate enough that this,

1489
00:53:59,750 --> 00:54:02,650
pattern can continue Mhmm. It means 2025

1490
00:54:03,269 --> 00:54:04,469
might be a year we can actually go,

1491
00:54:04,469 --> 00:54:06,789
hey, can we give 5 minutes to focus

1492
00:54:06,789 --> 00:54:09,269
on ourselves Right. And our dynamic and our

1493
00:54:09,269 --> 00:54:09,769
kink?

1494
00:54:10,949 --> 00:54:12,789
And and, you know, that that's something I

1495
00:54:12,789 --> 00:54:14,730
I was I've been thinking because,

1496
00:54:15,085 --> 00:54:16,625
you know, with all this,

1497
00:54:17,085 --> 00:54:19,025
you know, we've we've been able to

1498
00:54:19,885 --> 00:54:21,405
to do a little bit more than we

1499
00:54:21,405 --> 00:54:23,905
thought we have been able to do. Mhmm.

1500
00:54:24,125 --> 00:54:24,945
And and

1501
00:54:25,244 --> 00:54:27,585
my hope is that that can continue

1502
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:29,420
and grow.

1503
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:31,960
Mhmm. I I think that part of the

1504
00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:34,219
lesson we learned as people, not

1505
00:54:34,599 --> 00:54:34,920
kink

1506
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:37,900
otherwise, just as people living a a life,

1507
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:39,500
is that

1508
00:54:40,039 --> 00:54:41,515
the least perfect solution

1509
00:54:41,974 --> 00:54:44,055
is often a great one. And I say

1510
00:54:44,055 --> 00:54:44,614
that and I

1511
00:54:45,175 --> 00:54:46,954
not financially, not life decisions,

1512
00:54:47,255 --> 00:54:48,075
kink decisions.

1513
00:54:49,335 --> 00:54:50,155
You have

1514
00:54:50,775 --> 00:54:52,695
you know, you've resisted the fact that we

1515
00:54:52,695 --> 00:54:54,949
don't necessarily get to be alone in our

1516
00:54:54,949 --> 00:54:57,829
house for fuckery. Right? You've resisted the fact

1517
00:54:57,829 --> 00:54:58,329
that

1518
00:54:58,630 --> 00:55:00,869
you can't go you can't really go hard

1519
00:55:00,869 --> 00:55:02,409
on me because I'm kind of,

1520
00:55:02,710 --> 00:55:05,589
but, like, we can't get as ruckus as

1521
00:55:05,589 --> 00:55:06,089
we

1522
00:55:06,630 --> 00:55:07,529
once did.

1523
00:55:07,909 --> 00:55:08,650
And yet,

1524
00:55:09,344 --> 00:55:11,505
there are we are still having moments where

1525
00:55:11,505 --> 00:55:13,045
it's like, oh, this feels good.

1526
00:55:13,664 --> 00:55:15,664
Within the past few months, maybe it was

1527
00:55:15,664 --> 00:55:16,405
late summer,

1528
00:55:16,945 --> 00:55:18,724
you yanked me into the

1529
00:55:19,184 --> 00:55:21,425
into the workshop in the backyard out of

1530
00:55:21,425 --> 00:55:23,309
nowhere. I didn't know it was coming and

1531
00:55:23,309 --> 00:55:25,710
wailed on me for, like, I think it

1532
00:55:25,710 --> 00:55:27,010
was 5, 10 minutes.

1533
00:55:27,630 --> 00:55:29,390
I I walked back into the office in

1534
00:55:29,390 --> 00:55:31,869
the days. I remember that. I I texted

1535
00:55:31,869 --> 00:55:33,150
you. I said, hey, I need your help

1536
00:55:33,150 --> 00:55:33,890
in the shop.

1537
00:55:34,670 --> 00:55:35,170
Yep.

1538
00:55:35,825 --> 00:55:37,425
And, you know, I think we are not

1539
00:55:37,425 --> 00:55:39,105
the only ones. This happens to people in

1540
00:55:39,105 --> 00:55:40,865
general. It's easy to get caught up on

1541
00:55:40,865 --> 00:55:41,525
the perfect

1542
00:55:42,224 --> 00:55:43,905
option, the thing you really want it to

1543
00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:46,144
be. The the full on scene, the the

1544
00:55:46,144 --> 00:55:48,545
freedom to go to the dungeon and, you

1545
00:55:48,545 --> 00:55:49,045
know,

1546
00:55:49,425 --> 00:55:50,945
be out at all hours or not come

1547
00:55:50,945 --> 00:55:53,410
home or whatever, but, like, whatever whatever we

1548
00:55:53,410 --> 00:55:55,489
might envision of this is how we want

1549
00:55:55,489 --> 00:55:56,230
it to be.

1550
00:55:56,930 --> 00:55:59,489
It's very easy to then think anything less

1551
00:55:59,489 --> 00:56:01,809
than that is so imperfect as to not

1552
00:56:01,809 --> 00:56:02,789
be worth it.

1553
00:56:03,410 --> 00:56:05,650
And I even knowing this rationally in this

1554
00:56:05,650 --> 00:56:07,030
moment, I I personally

1555
00:56:07,545 --> 00:56:08,824
have always struggled with this.

1556
00:56:10,425 --> 00:56:12,425
But the past few years, not just this

1557
00:56:12,425 --> 00:56:15,244
year, has really sort of shown and and,

1558
00:56:15,704 --> 00:56:19,065
you know, borne out in reality that even

1559
00:56:19,065 --> 00:56:19,565
those

1560
00:56:19,960 --> 00:56:21,800
10, 15, if you're lucky to have it,

1561
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:22,780
20 minutes of

1562
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,480
imperfect connection that still feels good, is still

1563
00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:26,920
within your limits, is still what you would

1564
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:29,019
like, just not the ideal version.

1565
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:29,820
Mhmm.

1566
00:56:30,199 --> 00:56:32,039
Sometimes it's all you fucking got to get

1567
00:56:32,039 --> 00:56:33,664
you through to the next time. You can

1568
00:56:33,664 --> 00:56:35,344
take those 5 or 10 or 15 whatever

1569
00:56:35,344 --> 00:56:36,244
minutes. Yeah.

1570
00:56:37,105 --> 00:56:38,724
And it and it

1571
00:56:39,585 --> 00:56:42,304
is sometimes sweeter and and I when I

1572
00:56:42,304 --> 00:56:44,065
say sweeter, I don't mean kind. I mean,

1573
00:56:44,065 --> 00:56:44,565
like,

1574
00:56:45,344 --> 00:56:46,724
it it feels

1575
00:56:47,750 --> 00:56:49,769
good in a way that the,

1576
00:56:51,109 --> 00:56:51,849
you know,

1577
00:56:52,230 --> 00:56:52,730
oh,

1578
00:56:53,190 --> 00:56:54,869
we're going to the, let's say, the dungeon

1579
00:56:54,869 --> 00:56:56,949
for, like, you know, the 3rd weekend in

1580
00:56:56,949 --> 00:56:57,989
a row, and this is what we do

1581
00:56:57,989 --> 00:57:00,389
now. Like, there's there's a difference in the

1582
00:57:00,389 --> 00:57:00,889
way

1583
00:57:01,269 --> 00:57:01,769
that

1584
00:57:02,295 --> 00:57:04,234
hard one time

1585
00:57:04,614 --> 00:57:07,414
and moment together that is imperfect and not

1586
00:57:07,414 --> 00:57:08,694
the way it used to be and not,

1587
00:57:08,694 --> 00:57:10,454
you know, how we would prefer it to

1588
00:57:10,454 --> 00:57:12,214
be, but it works and it feels good

1589
00:57:12,214 --> 00:57:13,514
and it's a moment of connection

1590
00:57:14,054 --> 00:57:14,554
versus

1591
00:57:14,855 --> 00:57:16,739
the way you've been doing it that's, you

1592
00:57:16,739 --> 00:57:18,260
know, the quote right way or the perfect

1593
00:57:18,260 --> 00:57:19,860
way that you get to take for granted

1594
00:57:19,860 --> 00:57:22,199
because it's just what you do now. Right?

1595
00:57:22,820 --> 00:57:24,579
Mhmm. And I would like to get back

1596
00:57:24,579 --> 00:57:25,940
to the this is what we do and

1597
00:57:25,940 --> 00:57:27,940
it's part of a routine. Sure. Sure. Sure.

1598
00:57:27,940 --> 00:57:29,480
But I am currently

1599
00:57:30,099 --> 00:57:32,324
very well aware of how

1600
00:57:33,025 --> 00:57:35,344
good it feels when we grab those moments

1601
00:57:35,505 --> 00:57:38,065
Yeah. Imperfect as they are. Yep. Yep. Yep.

1602
00:57:38,065 --> 00:57:39,765
I agree. Mhmm. I agree.

1603
00:57:41,184 --> 00:57:43,105
Mhmm. Mhmm. So, yeah, that's the state of

1604
00:57:43,105 --> 00:57:45,380
our power exchange. Yeah. It's a hot ass

1605
00:57:45,380 --> 00:57:47,380
mess, but we're doing the best we can.

1606
00:57:47,380 --> 00:57:47,880
Right.

1607
00:57:48,660 --> 00:57:51,619
And quite frankly, I think I think that's

1608
00:57:51,619 --> 00:57:53,780
all anybody can ask. That's all yeah. I

1609
00:57:53,780 --> 00:57:55,780
mean, yeah. It's true. That's that's all you

1610
00:57:55,780 --> 00:57:57,485
can do. You can do the best best

1611
00:57:57,485 --> 00:57:59,485
that you can do under the circumstances you

1612
00:57:59,485 --> 00:57:59,985
have.

1613
00:58:01,324 --> 00:58:03,565
You know? Yeah. Make the best of bad

1614
00:58:03,565 --> 00:58:05,585
situations. Make the best of good situations.

1615
00:58:06,125 --> 00:58:09,005
Mhmm. Personal experience, I'll tell you, don't, take

1616
00:58:09,005 --> 00:58:11,565
the good for granted because Mhmm. It can

1617
00:58:11,565 --> 00:58:13,730
get you yanked in a heartbeat

1618
00:58:14,190 --> 00:58:16,190
by some random shit you didn't see coming.

1619
00:58:16,190 --> 00:58:17,869
Like a rug being pulled out on Monday.

1620
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:18,369
Right.

1621
00:58:20,590 --> 00:58:23,150
But, you know, I'm grateful that with all

1622
00:58:23,150 --> 00:58:25,194
of the from the being hit by a

1623
00:58:25,194 --> 00:58:28,234
literal fucking car to everything else that, you

1624
00:58:28,234 --> 00:58:29,454
know, came after.

1625
00:58:29,914 --> 00:58:31,295
I'm glad that what

1626
00:58:31,674 --> 00:58:33,194
all those years have allowed us to do

1627
00:58:33,194 --> 00:58:36,394
is to get closer. Yeah. We're we're not

1628
00:58:36,394 --> 00:58:38,074
perfect at it, but we are better at

1629
00:58:38,074 --> 00:58:38,574
communicating.

1630
00:58:38,875 --> 00:58:42,409
Mhmm. We are better at saying hardship.

1631
00:58:42,869 --> 00:58:45,269
Like, we had hardship come up before. Oh,

1632
00:58:45,269 --> 00:58:47,690
yeah. But mostly, it was stuff that,

1633
00:58:48,869 --> 00:58:51,510
you know, it impacted 1 but not the

1634
00:58:51,510 --> 00:58:54,284
other, or it was, like, typical, air quote,

1635
00:58:54,284 --> 00:58:55,344
that typical stuff,

1636
00:58:55,804 --> 00:58:57,644
and we just could kinda roll with it,

1637
00:58:57,644 --> 00:58:59,005
and one of us could lean on the

1638
00:58:59,005 --> 00:58:59,505
other.

1639
00:59:00,045 --> 00:59:02,045
The past few years have been shit that's

1640
00:59:02,045 --> 00:59:04,125
hit us both, sometimes in completely different ways,

1641
00:59:04,125 --> 00:59:05,425
but it hit us both.

1642
00:59:05,804 --> 00:59:08,469
And we didn't it wasn't a situation where

1643
00:59:08,469 --> 00:59:10,469
one could lean on the other. We had

1644
00:59:10,469 --> 00:59:12,630
to lean on each other, and it took

1645
00:59:12,630 --> 00:59:14,710
us a hot minute to figure that out.

1646
00:59:14,710 --> 00:59:15,210
Yeah.

1647
00:59:15,750 --> 00:59:18,230
And it took us took me longer than

1648
00:59:18,230 --> 00:59:20,070
probably it should have to say hard things

1649
00:59:20,070 --> 00:59:20,730
to JB.

1650
00:59:21,190 --> 00:59:23,135
You know? Because he is the type that

1651
00:59:23,135 --> 00:59:25,315
goes into his head and withdraws from everybody

1652
00:59:25,454 --> 00:59:27,695
when stuff gets hard. I'm the type that's

1653
00:59:27,695 --> 00:59:29,795
like, I'm gonna look for a $11,000,000

1654
00:59:30,094 --> 00:59:30,594
solution.

1655
00:59:31,375 --> 00:59:33,775
Try them all. If I stay busy, I

1656
00:59:33,775 --> 00:59:35,289
can't think about the bad. And if I

1657
00:59:35,289 --> 00:59:36,650
can't think about the bad, then I can't

1658
00:59:36,650 --> 00:59:38,170
feel the bad, and then it doesn't exist,

1659
00:59:38,170 --> 00:59:40,190
and I'll just keep working forever.

1660
00:59:41,289 --> 00:59:44,089
Neither of ours our options are healthy. Neither

1661
00:59:44,089 --> 00:59:45,630
of them do well. And we

1662
00:59:46,089 --> 00:59:47,549
are getting better

1663
00:59:48,089 --> 00:59:48,750
at finding

1664
00:59:50,075 --> 00:59:53,035
a third middle option that Yeah. Is a

1665
00:59:53,035 --> 00:59:54,894
little bit more productive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

1666
00:59:55,195 --> 00:59:56,075
So, yeah, I,

1667
00:59:57,914 --> 00:59:59,914
if any of not what we were talking

1668
00:59:59,914 --> 01:00:01,855
about, because it's all you a highly unique

1669
01:00:02,250 --> 01:00:04,170
and individual. Mhmm. But if the idea of

1670
01:00:04,170 --> 01:00:05,070
thinking about

1671
01:00:05,530 --> 01:00:07,769
your power changer if you're in a relationship

1672
01:00:07,769 --> 01:00:10,250
resonates, I highly recommend. Like, what was good?

1673
01:00:10,250 --> 01:00:11,690
What was bad? What have you learned? What

1674
01:00:11,690 --> 01:00:12,969
do you wish you had more of? You

1675
01:00:12,969 --> 01:00:14,809
know, stuff like that. And if you're single,

1676
01:00:14,809 --> 01:00:15,914
I think you can do it

1677
01:00:16,214 --> 01:00:17,674
for where do you want

1678
01:00:18,614 --> 01:00:19,174
you you

1679
01:00:20,534 --> 01:00:22,054
I hate to say it so cliche, but

1680
01:00:22,054 --> 01:00:23,174
I'm sorry. I'm gonna say it anyway. Where

1681
01:00:23,174 --> 01:00:24,614
do you want your kink journey to take

1682
01:00:24,614 --> 01:00:26,775
you? Where what did you do this year?

1683
01:00:26,775 --> 01:00:28,054
What could you have done? What do you

1684
01:00:28,054 --> 01:00:29,639
wish you had done? What did you try

1685
01:00:29,639 --> 01:00:31,239
that worked? What did you try that didn't

1686
01:00:31,239 --> 01:00:31,739
work?

1687
01:00:32,119 --> 01:00:32,859
And how

1688
01:00:33,159 --> 01:00:33,819
you know,

1689
01:00:34,199 --> 01:00:36,139
what did you learn in all of that?

1690
01:00:36,599 --> 01:00:38,139
And I think that can be useful,

1691
01:00:38,599 --> 01:00:40,279
especially for planning what you wanna do in

1692
01:00:40,279 --> 01:00:40,940
the future.

1693
01:00:41,239 --> 01:00:42,779
True. Will our first episode

1694
01:00:43,784 --> 01:00:44,684
of 2025

1695
01:00:45,304 --> 01:00:46,684
be about that? Maybe.

1696
01:00:46,984 --> 01:00:49,164
Mhmm. If I can't think of something better.

1697
01:00:52,505 --> 01:00:53,005
Yeah.

1698
01:00:53,464 --> 01:00:53,964
So

1699
01:00:55,304 --> 01:00:55,804
yeah.

1700
01:00:56,585 --> 01:00:57,944
I think that's it and we can do

1701
01:00:57,944 --> 01:00:58,924
a bonus section.

1702
01:00:59,799 --> 01:01:00,299
So,

1703
01:01:00,679 --> 01:01:02,679
are we good? It's not for me to

1704
01:01:02,679 --> 01:01:03,179
say.

1705
01:01:04,760 --> 01:01:07,000
Keep it kinky y'all. And we'll see you

1706
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:07,739
in 2025.

1707
01:01:17,914 --> 01:01:18,414
Daddy.

1708
01:01:18,795 --> 01:01:21,695
Yes? Should we talk to the crickets, please?

1709
01:01:21,835 --> 01:01:24,155
Yes. Did you do that on purpose? No.

1710
01:01:24,155 --> 01:01:26,735
That I didn't know. No. There was there

1711
01:01:26,795 --> 01:01:28,494
was an actual struggle there.

1712
01:01:29,115 --> 01:01:31,849
Watching the timer on the audio file, he'd

1713
01:01:31,849 --> 01:01:33,390
write one number,

1714
01:01:34,170 --> 01:01:34,670
colon,

1715
01:01:35,210 --> 01:01:35,950
I'd go,

1716
01:01:36,809 --> 01:01:37,789
then he'd look,

1717
01:01:38,329 --> 01:01:40,910
and he'd write another singular number.

1718
01:01:42,010 --> 01:01:42,750
I'd go,

1719
01:01:43,514 --> 01:01:45,375
and then he'd look. Again.

1720
01:01:46,394 --> 01:01:47,934
What I typically do now,

1721
01:01:48,394 --> 01:01:50,394
that you've trained me Yeah. Is I wait

1722
01:01:50,394 --> 01:01:52,154
until I can see that you have a

1723
01:01:52,154 --> 01:01:53,674
a number in your head you're writing. This

1724
01:01:53,674 --> 01:01:55,835
is for editing when, you know, when we're

1725
01:01:55,835 --> 01:01:57,800
done with the stream and recording. And you

1726
01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:00,199
once you start writing the full time of

1727
01:02:00,199 --> 01:02:01,239
here's where I have to go in and

1728
01:02:01,239 --> 01:02:03,079
edit, blah blah blah, I know I can

1729
01:02:03,079 --> 01:02:04,699
ask because you were you've committed

1730
01:02:05,000 --> 01:02:06,300
to the numbers.

1731
01:02:07,079 --> 01:02:09,105
But you had not, and I just had

1732
01:02:09,105 --> 01:02:10,864
to keep waiting. And I know it was

1733
01:02:10,864 --> 01:02:13,105
maybe 2 seconds of our lives. It felt

1734
01:02:13,105 --> 01:02:16,065
like 20 years. It felt like you were

1735
01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:17,684
never gonna be done.

1736
01:02:20,625 --> 01:02:22,324
Yep. There you go. Same.

1737
01:02:23,105 --> 01:02:23,605
So,

1738
01:02:26,890 --> 01:02:28,349
what you got for bonus section?

1739
01:02:29,530 --> 01:02:30,349
Let's see.

1740
01:02:32,010 --> 01:02:34,090
It has now been three and a half

1741
01:02:34,090 --> 01:02:34,590
weeks

1742
01:02:35,530 --> 01:02:36,590
without my whoobie.

1743
01:02:36,905 --> 01:02:38,525
Mhmm. For anybody who

1744
01:02:39,065 --> 01:02:41,405
is unaware, the whoobie is his old music.

1745
01:02:41,704 --> 01:02:43,224
And why do we call it whoobie? You

1746
01:02:43,224 --> 01:02:44,425
would have to go back to an eighties

1747
01:02:44,425 --> 01:02:46,984
movie with Michael Keaton called mister Mom. And

1748
01:02:46,984 --> 01:02:49,625
Terry Carr, wasn't Terry Carr? Didn't she pass

1749
01:02:49,625 --> 01:02:52,184
away recently? I think so. I think so.

1750
01:02:52,184 --> 01:02:54,219
Well, now I made myself sad. Also, I

1751
01:02:54,219 --> 01:02:56,079
think I'd like to watch mister Mom again.

1752
01:02:56,139 --> 01:02:59,039
Except I'll bet money it hasn't aged well.

1753
01:02:59,259 --> 01:02:59,759
Right.

1754
01:03:00,299 --> 01:03:00,799
Yeah.

1755
01:03:01,259 --> 01:03:01,759
Yeah.

1756
01:03:02,219 --> 01:03:04,059
So but yeah. I I it has been

1757
01:03:04,059 --> 01:03:05,940
now three and a half weeks. How do

1758
01:03:05,940 --> 01:03:07,155
you feel? Picked up.

1759
01:03:09,715 --> 01:03:12,114
Okay. Is it at all gotten easier? Is

1760
01:03:12,114 --> 01:03:14,195
it still too soon? It I it's still

1761
01:03:14,195 --> 01:03:15,735
too soon. There are times

1762
01:03:16,355 --> 01:03:17,574
there are certain times,

1763
01:03:19,795 --> 01:03:22,079
when I get terrible urges

1764
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,840
after eating Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes

1765
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:27,300
sense. Is is 1.

1766
01:03:29,840 --> 01:03:31,140
When I get in the car

1767
01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:33,760
to drive, because I'm, oh, you know, in

1768
01:03:33,760 --> 01:03:36,805
the car, I mean Mhmm. Mhmm. So it's,

1769
01:03:37,045 --> 01:03:38,985
it's been tough, but I've been I've been

1770
01:03:39,684 --> 01:03:40,184
managing.

1771
01:03:40,565 --> 01:03:42,184
Okay. Okay. Managing.

1772
01:03:42,644 --> 01:03:42,965
And,

1773
01:03:46,005 --> 01:03:47,545
Cricket sent me this.

1774
01:03:48,085 --> 01:03:49,519
And what is that thing called? It's it's

1775
01:03:49,660 --> 01:03:51,519
called a Fum, f

1776
01:03:51,980 --> 01:03:54,780
u m. And for podcast listeners who can't

1777
01:03:54,780 --> 01:03:56,640
see, how would you describe that?

1778
01:03:58,539 --> 01:04:01,704
Oh, wow. Yeah. We got the fork. It

1779
01:04:01,784 --> 01:04:02,664
it's a little

1780
01:04:04,984 --> 01:04:06,824
it it's a vape that isn't a vape.

1781
01:04:06,824 --> 01:04:08,984
Yeah. Because, see, it looks like those stick

1782
01:04:08,984 --> 01:04:10,684
vapes that a lot of people like.

1783
01:04:11,304 --> 01:04:13,244
But there is no battering. Mhmm.

1784
01:04:13,619 --> 01:04:15,619
You're not breathing out vapor Not breathing. Or

1785
01:04:15,619 --> 01:04:17,059
whatever the hell that was? No.

1786
01:04:17,380 --> 01:04:18,599
It it's a fidget.

1787
01:04:19,779 --> 01:04:21,619
Fidget thing. That that you can suck on.

1788
01:04:21,619 --> 01:04:22,119
Yeah.

1789
01:04:22,579 --> 01:04:24,019
Sorry. I don't know. And it does have

1790
01:04:24,019 --> 01:04:26,179
a little cartridge in there and apparent it's

1791
01:04:26,179 --> 01:04:26,659
it's,

1792
01:04:27,139 --> 01:04:27,639
flavored.

1793
01:04:28,099 --> 01:04:29,264
Okay. So it's you're just sucking

1794
01:04:31,264 --> 01:04:31,424
sucking on, like, flavor and air? Flavor flavored

1795
01:04:31,424 --> 01:04:33,744
air. Okay. Okay. So you get the feeling

1796
01:04:33,744 --> 01:04:36,484
of puff puff, but not the actuality. Right.

1797
01:04:36,864 --> 01:04:39,505
Okay. Yeah. And it's it's, just got it

1798
01:04:39,505 --> 01:04:41,125
today. It came today,

1799
01:04:41,585 --> 01:04:41,904
and,

1800
01:04:43,025 --> 01:04:45,339
I'm kinda liking it. I feel like now

1801
01:04:45,339 --> 01:04:47,500
that I know what I why I had

1802
01:04:47,500 --> 01:04:48,619
to stand in the line at the post

1803
01:04:48,619 --> 01:04:50,699
office for 30 minutes for, I feel like

1804
01:04:50,699 --> 01:04:52,219
I might need a prize for them. I'm

1805
01:04:52,219 --> 01:04:53,839
very I'm very grateful

1806
01:04:54,139 --> 01:04:55,339
to the cricket who sent it to you.

1807
01:04:55,339 --> 01:04:56,699
I think it was very kind of them.

1808
01:04:56,699 --> 01:04:57,199
Yes.

1809
01:04:58,780 --> 01:04:59,359
I am

1810
01:04:59,835 --> 01:05:01,594
happy. I was able to finally get to

1811
01:05:01,594 --> 01:05:03,514
the post office. And according to the little

1812
01:05:03,514 --> 01:05:05,755
yellow ticket they put in our box, it's

1813
01:05:05,755 --> 01:05:06,974
been there since 12th.

1814
01:05:07,914 --> 01:05:09,914
The day I checked the mail was whatever

1815
01:05:09,914 --> 01:05:12,175
day Monday is of this week, 16th.

1816
01:05:13,010 --> 01:05:14,769
And the line was to the like, our

1817
01:05:14,849 --> 01:05:16,609
that post office is, I think, probably one

1818
01:05:16,609 --> 01:05:18,289
of, if not the biggest one in our

1819
01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:21,089
town. It's the downtown post office. So Monday

1820
01:05:21,089 --> 01:05:23,349
through Friday, it is wild in there. Yeah.

1821
01:05:24,130 --> 01:05:25,730
And the area where you go in and

1822
01:05:25,730 --> 01:05:27,429
you're at the counters and you're, like,

1823
01:05:28,655 --> 01:05:30,655
sending stuff and paying for stuff, whatever, it's

1824
01:05:30,655 --> 01:05:32,355
a huge area. So when

1825
01:05:32,655 --> 01:05:35,135
the line gets to the actual door, you

1826
01:05:35,135 --> 01:05:37,074
go in there, it's a long ass line.

1827
01:05:37,454 --> 01:05:39,695
And the day I saw the yellow tabby

1828
01:05:39,695 --> 01:05:41,250
thing, that means go to the counter and

1829
01:05:41,250 --> 01:05:42,269
pick up your box.

1830
01:05:42,650 --> 01:05:44,969
I was like, not today, Satan. It is

1831
01:05:44,969 --> 01:05:45,869
not happening.

1832
01:05:46,489 --> 01:05:48,089
It was too long, and I had a

1833
01:05:48,089 --> 01:05:50,250
kid in the car who's nope. Nope. Nope.

1834
01:05:50,250 --> 01:05:51,949
And I had to pee. Nope.

1835
01:05:52,409 --> 01:05:54,994
So then I told myself, Tuesday morning, I'd

1836
01:05:54,994 --> 01:05:56,695
get up and just, like,

1837
01:05:56,994 --> 01:05:59,175
be at the post office when they open,

1838
01:05:59,315 --> 01:06:01,715
knowing it's holiday time, so there's gonna be

1839
01:06:01,715 --> 01:06:03,155
a line, but it would not be a

1840
01:06:03,155 --> 01:06:05,094
3 o'clock in the afternoon line.

1841
01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:07,880
Good. So I was like, okay. And then

1842
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:09,880
Monday night, I was on 3 days of

1843
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,200
a headache, and I took some took my

1844
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:14,519
migraine medicine Monday night to knock it out,

1845
01:06:14,519 --> 01:06:15,500
which meant Tuesday,

1846
01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:18,059
there was no getting up early. No.

1847
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:18,940
No.

1848
01:06:19,295 --> 01:06:21,055
She slept like there, you know No. Like,

1849
01:06:21,055 --> 01:06:22,994
because my father like, tomorrow never came.

1850
01:06:24,015 --> 01:06:25,394
So then I do it today.

1851
01:06:25,855 --> 01:06:26,355
Mhmm.

1852
01:06:26,735 --> 01:06:27,635
One day closer

1853
01:06:27,934 --> 01:06:29,855
to Christmas and trying to get stuff to

1854
01:06:29,855 --> 01:06:31,934
people for Christmas and really Hanukkah because it

1855
01:06:31,934 --> 01:06:33,375
starts right on Christmas too. But, you know,

1856
01:06:33,375 --> 01:06:35,400
for the holidays, try to mail stuff out.

1857
01:06:35,400 --> 01:06:37,659
And so people are more on edge,

1858
01:06:38,280 --> 01:06:40,519
and they're more frantic of how am I

1859
01:06:40,519 --> 01:06:42,839
gonna get this to somebody in time. So

1860
01:06:42,839 --> 01:06:45,179
I walk into the post office at 7:58.

1861
01:06:47,079 --> 01:06:49,105
The area that's so big where people can

1862
01:06:49,105 --> 01:06:51,425
buy postage and send their packages, whatever. Mhmm.

1863
01:06:51,425 --> 01:06:53,184
The doors to that are still locked, but

1864
01:06:53,184 --> 01:06:55,905
there's a line that has formed that already

1865
01:06:55,905 --> 01:06:59,425
had 15 or 18 people in it when

1866
01:06:59,425 --> 01:07:01,079
I got in. Yeah.

1867
01:07:01,960 --> 01:07:03,180
30 minutes later,

1868
01:07:03,719 --> 01:07:05,640
the nice lady at the counter who was

1869
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:07,719
the only person for the first 20, 25

1870
01:07:07,719 --> 01:07:08,219
minutes.

1871
01:07:08,519 --> 01:07:10,360
Bless her. I don't I I'd have just

1872
01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:11,980
been like, fuck all y'all.

1873
01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:13,094
I'm going

1874
01:07:14,534 --> 01:07:16,295
home. Yeah. And it ended up being that.

1875
01:07:16,295 --> 01:07:18,295
So, you know, not only did I brave

1876
01:07:18,295 --> 01:07:20,474
the post office a week before Christmas.

1877
01:07:21,574 --> 01:07:22,715
You know? Yeah.

1878
01:07:23,335 --> 01:07:24,315
Surround people.

1879
01:07:25,255 --> 01:07:26,074
Good girl.

1880
01:07:26,454 --> 01:07:27,090
Thank you, daddy.

1881
01:07:27,730 --> 01:07:29,489
Andre asked, was it health reasons that you

1882
01:07:29,489 --> 01:07:31,650
stopped vaping or just over it? Just over

1883
01:07:31,650 --> 01:07:32,150
it.

1884
01:07:33,410 --> 01:07:35,190
Just over it. I had actually,

1885
01:07:37,170 --> 01:07:38,390
stopped using nicotine.

1886
01:07:39,090 --> 01:07:40,950
I didn't even notice when that happened.

1887
01:07:41,255 --> 01:07:43,035
Quite quite a while ago, actually.

1888
01:07:43,574 --> 01:07:45,835
Yeah. I am such a loving doting

1889
01:07:46,295 --> 01:07:48,215
baby girl that I did not even notice

1890
01:07:48,215 --> 01:07:49,974
when he quit nicotine. Well, you know You

1891
01:07:49,974 --> 01:07:53,815
handled that really well, though. Because I I

1892
01:07:54,135 --> 01:07:55,469
that was something I

1893
01:07:55,949 --> 01:07:57,489
specifically planned for.

1894
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,570
Gotcha. Okay? And

1895
01:08:02,190 --> 01:08:04,349
I I got to a certain point because

1896
01:08:04,349 --> 01:08:05,409
I mix my own

1897
01:08:05,710 --> 01:08:06,590
vape juice when I

1898
01:08:07,789 --> 01:08:08,289
and

1899
01:08:10,114 --> 01:08:11,014
I systematically,

1900
01:08:11,474 --> 01:08:14,114
over time, decreased. And that actually was not

1901
01:08:14,114 --> 01:08:15,954
the first time you had quit nicotine before.

1902
01:08:15,954 --> 01:08:17,074
No. Or you had done it a few

1903
01:08:17,074 --> 01:08:19,875
years before. Right. Mhmm. Yeah. I think then

1904
01:08:19,875 --> 01:08:21,814
life got stressful and you went, nope.

1905
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:24,539
I need something.

1906
01:08:25,079 --> 01:08:26,699
I need something to get me through.

1907
01:08:27,159 --> 01:08:29,579
Caffeine and caffeine. No. No.

1908
01:08:30,199 --> 01:08:30,699
So,

1909
01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:34,060
you know, yeah. I with with the nicotine,

1910
01:08:34,119 --> 01:08:35,654
yeah, I I it was such a

1911
01:08:36,054 --> 01:08:36,875
slow, gradual

1912
01:08:37,734 --> 01:08:39,914
weaning that by the time I got there

1913
01:08:41,654 --> 01:08:42,715
Yeah. So

1914
01:08:43,814 --> 01:08:44,875
You know, and I

1915
01:08:45,814 --> 01:08:47,750
I commend you for all of it. You

1916
01:08:47,750 --> 01:08:50,149
know, I was never gonna pressure you. Mhmm.

1917
01:08:50,390 --> 01:08:52,710
You didn't smoke fucking cigarettes, and that was

1918
01:08:52,710 --> 01:08:54,969
what made me happy. And you'd even stopped

1919
01:08:55,109 --> 01:08:58,069
smoking regularly, like cigars and cigarillas and something

1920
01:08:58,069 --> 01:08:59,909
like that. And that made me happy. So

1921
01:08:59,909 --> 01:09:01,929
your vape thing, you could've done that until,

1922
01:09:02,595 --> 01:09:05,155
oh, the video froze. You could've done that

1923
01:09:05,155 --> 01:09:06,994
forever, and I'd have been like, it's fine.

1924
01:09:06,994 --> 01:09:08,695
Whatever, you know, whatever works.

1925
01:09:09,715 --> 01:09:10,215
But,

1926
01:09:12,354 --> 01:09:16,055
you cutting nicotine out, you handled so well.

1927
01:09:16,435 --> 01:09:19,180
My only experiences with people in my life

1928
01:09:19,180 --> 01:09:20,079
quitting nicotine

1929
01:09:21,020 --> 01:09:21,520
were

1930
01:09:21,979 --> 01:09:24,460
low key traumatic for both of us because

1931
01:09:24,460 --> 01:09:26,780
they went through it in their own sort

1932
01:09:26,780 --> 01:09:27,439
of way.

1933
01:09:28,140 --> 01:09:28,880
And then,

1934
01:09:33,055 --> 01:09:34,994
they made it everybody else's

1935
01:09:35,375 --> 01:09:38,435
problem is what they mostly did.

1936
01:09:40,175 --> 01:09:40,675
So

1937
01:09:41,375 --> 01:09:42,354
you, you know,

1938
01:09:42,895 --> 01:09:44,574
you dealt with it to the best of

1939
01:09:44,574 --> 01:09:46,260
your ability. Had you said something in him,

1940
01:09:46,260 --> 01:09:47,539
if I could have helped you, I would

1941
01:09:47,539 --> 01:09:50,260
have happily helped you. But you you did

1942
01:09:50,260 --> 01:09:52,279
not make your discomfort

1943
01:09:54,020 --> 01:09:56,579
a thing that I had to manage for

1944
01:09:56,579 --> 01:09:59,060
you. Correct. You know? I part of me

1945
01:09:59,060 --> 01:10:00,885
kind of wishes you would have, like, said,

1946
01:10:00,885 --> 01:10:02,645
hey. I'm doing this thing and, you know,

1947
01:10:02,645 --> 01:10:04,164
maybe you could use a little help, but

1948
01:10:04,164 --> 01:10:05,704
I I do appreciate

1949
01:10:06,804 --> 01:10:08,724
that you just were like, I'm I'm a

1950
01:10:08,724 --> 01:10:10,724
grown ass adult. I'm just gonna take care

1951
01:10:10,724 --> 01:10:12,244
of my shit. I I wish I could

1952
01:10:12,244 --> 01:10:14,585
say I had some some alter altruistic,

1953
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:18,140
reasons for not saying anything. Mhmm.

1954
01:10:18,760 --> 01:10:19,420
I think

1955
01:10:20,119 --> 01:10:22,119
the the reason I did not say anything

1956
01:10:22,359 --> 01:10:23,960
Mhmm. Was because I had a fear that

1957
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,180
I was going to fail.

1958
01:10:26,279 --> 01:10:28,274
Yep. Yep. I get that. I get that.

1959
01:10:28,515 --> 01:10:30,435
And then having said it, then it's that

1960
01:10:30,435 --> 01:10:32,054
bad feeling of, oh, no.

1961
01:10:32,914 --> 01:10:34,994
Right. Yeah. Yeah. No. I I respect that.

1962
01:10:34,994 --> 01:10:36,755
So that that that was something there, and

1963
01:10:36,755 --> 01:10:38,215
I was like, you know, if I

1964
01:10:38,594 --> 01:10:40,354
I I just need to do this, and

1965
01:10:40,354 --> 01:10:40,854
then

1966
01:10:41,350 --> 01:10:43,110
this is not something somebody can help me

1967
01:10:43,110 --> 01:10:44,710
with or do for me. I just need

1968
01:10:44,710 --> 01:10:46,949
to to do it. And yet, we would

1969
01:10:46,949 --> 01:10:47,190
have

1970
01:10:47,829 --> 01:10:50,310
the collective we, the royal we, whatever, we

1971
01:10:50,310 --> 01:10:51,750
would have wanted to help you if we

1972
01:10:51,750 --> 01:10:52,810
could have. Yeah.

1973
01:10:53,510 --> 01:10:54,010
So,

1974
01:10:57,484 --> 01:10:59,965
silence saying that the audio is out of

1975
01:10:59,965 --> 01:11:01,965
sync with the video because the video froze

1976
01:11:01,965 --> 01:11:03,965
podcast listeners be grateful. You just listened to

1977
01:11:03,965 --> 01:11:05,484
the audio. You don't have to worry about

1978
01:11:05,484 --> 01:11:06,145
this bullshit.

1979
01:11:06,925 --> 01:11:08,304
And I just wanna say

1980
01:11:08,610 --> 01:11:10,610
if the last stream few minutes of the

1981
01:11:10,610 --> 01:11:13,350
last stream of the year is not chaotic,

1982
01:11:13,729 --> 01:11:16,130
is it really us? Right. I don't think

1983
01:11:16,130 --> 01:11:16,630
so.

1984
01:11:20,130 --> 01:11:22,104
I'm not gonna lie. I love doing live

1985
01:11:22,104 --> 01:11:23,625
streams because I like the the back and

1986
01:11:23,625 --> 01:11:24,984
forth and the energy I get from the

1987
01:11:24,984 --> 01:11:27,564
folks who are who are in live chat.

1988
01:11:29,465 --> 01:11:31,945
And I also, you know, knowing, like, you

1989
01:11:31,945 --> 01:11:34,744
know, specifically on live that you know there

1990
01:11:34,744 --> 01:11:36,185
are people there even if they're lurking. I

1991
01:11:36,185 --> 01:11:37,310
respect the lurkers.

1992
01:11:37,770 --> 01:11:40,270
But with the headaches we get from technological

1993
01:11:40,649 --> 01:11:42,189
stuff and the fact that

1994
01:11:42,729 --> 01:11:45,289
we you nobody's making money from YouTube on

1995
01:11:45,289 --> 01:11:46,429
this channel. No.

1996
01:11:47,369 --> 01:11:49,130
Part of me is like, just fucking do

1997
01:11:49,130 --> 01:11:50,625
audio only. I just

1998
01:11:53,505 --> 01:11:54,005
but

1999
01:11:54,784 --> 01:11:56,305
and, yes, in the live chat, they're talking

2000
01:11:56,305 --> 01:11:58,145
about how the audio and the video are

2001
01:11:58,145 --> 01:12:00,225
perpetually out of sync. We know, but we

2002
01:12:00,225 --> 01:12:02,625
can't figure out why and how to fix

2003
01:12:02,625 --> 01:12:04,279
it. It. We don't know where the disconnect

2004
01:12:04,279 --> 01:12:06,599
is coming from. Say I'm pretty tempted to

2005
01:12:06,599 --> 01:12:09,179
just go back to audio only.

2006
01:12:14,599 --> 01:12:16,519
Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, can we go back

2007
01:12:16,519 --> 01:12:18,037
to simpler times? Let's go sit in a

2008
01:12:18,037 --> 01:12:20,375
closet and record on a laptop microphone,

2009
01:12:21,954 --> 01:12:23,474
or or let's just go back to one

2010
01:12:23,474 --> 01:12:26,194
microphone, and I'll hog it when I'm the

2011
01:12:26,194 --> 01:12:28,375
least of us who needs a microphone.

2012
01:12:31,954 --> 01:12:33,175
So I don't know.

2013
01:12:33,689 --> 01:12:34,189
I

2014
01:12:35,210 --> 01:12:36,810
don't know. And now somebody just chimed in.

2015
01:12:36,810 --> 01:12:38,670
Theirs has matched perfectly. So

2016
01:12:39,050 --> 01:12:39,869
who, you know,

2017
01:12:40,250 --> 01:12:41,949
who knows? Who knows? Who knows?

2018
01:12:42,329 --> 01:12:45,469
It's fine. It's fine. Who knows? Just just

2019
01:12:45,784 --> 01:12:48,265
for folks on the YouTube side, treat us

2020
01:12:48,265 --> 01:12:49,784
like a podcast. Put us out in the

2021
01:12:49,784 --> 01:12:51,965
background. Don't look at us. Mhmm.

2022
01:12:54,345 --> 01:12:55,484
So Mhmm. But Yeah.

2023
01:12:56,024 --> 01:12:59,465
That's mine. And, Lola's doing well. Lola is

2024
01:12:59,465 --> 01:13:01,569
snoring like she just worked a double.

2025
01:13:02,109 --> 01:13:02,770
Right? Yeah.

2026
01:13:03,149 --> 01:13:04,689
She is like Yeah.

2027
01:13:05,149 --> 01:13:05,649
Wow.

2028
01:13:06,109 --> 01:13:06,609
Her,

2029
01:13:09,949 --> 01:13:11,649
her eye is doing okay.

2030
01:13:12,925 --> 01:13:14,765
In some ways. In some ways. Yeah. I

2031
01:13:14,765 --> 01:13:15,244
mean, it's not

2032
01:13:16,685 --> 01:13:17,824
yeah. Mhmm.

2033
01:13:18,925 --> 01:13:21,024
I'm still putting drops in

2034
01:13:21,564 --> 01:13:22,864
several times a day

2035
01:13:23,564 --> 01:13:24,064
and,

2036
01:13:25,369 --> 01:13:27,949
you know, she's not happy about it. No.

2037
01:13:28,170 --> 01:13:28,670
No.

2038
01:13:30,170 --> 01:13:30,649
But,

2039
01:13:31,050 --> 01:13:33,289
you know, she she grudgingly allows me to

2040
01:13:33,289 --> 01:13:33,949
do it.

2041
01:13:34,489 --> 01:13:36,569
Because she loves you. Yeah. She wouldn't let

2042
01:13:36,569 --> 01:13:38,364
me come near her with little drop of

2043
01:13:38,364 --> 01:13:40,125
things in my hand. She was like, fuck

2044
01:13:40,125 --> 01:13:41,024
you, bitch.

2045
01:13:45,484 --> 01:13:45,965
So,

2046
01:13:46,364 --> 01:13:48,465
yeah. She's she's doing doing better.

2047
01:13:49,564 --> 01:13:52,300
And, hopefully, in the next couple weeks it's

2048
01:13:52,300 --> 01:13:53,820
a 30 day process because of blood work,

2049
01:13:53,820 --> 01:13:55,100
but, hopefully, in the next couple weeks, we

2050
01:13:55,100 --> 01:13:56,720
can get her scheduled for the eye surgery.

2051
01:13:56,780 --> 01:13:57,920
Right. Yes.

2052
01:14:01,100 --> 01:14:02,079
So So

2053
01:14:02,635 --> 01:14:03,135
Anyhoo.

2054
01:14:05,675 --> 01:14:06,175
Yay.

2055
01:14:06,635 --> 01:14:07,135
Yep.

2056
01:14:09,114 --> 01:14:11,194
So I don't know about you. I I

2057
01:14:11,194 --> 01:14:13,474
am looking forward to to our break

2058
01:14:13,914 --> 01:14:15,295
Mhmm. Very much so.

2059
01:14:16,554 --> 01:14:17,454
Hoping this

2060
01:14:18,729 --> 01:14:19,229
weekend,

2061
01:14:21,289 --> 01:14:22,810
we might be able to sneak out and

2062
01:14:22,810 --> 01:14:23,710
do some thrifting.

2063
01:14:24,409 --> 01:14:24,909
Yes.

2064
01:14:25,289 --> 01:14:27,869
For, Thursday of this week, day after recording,

2065
01:14:28,090 --> 01:14:29,850
we're taking half a day off to finish

2066
01:14:29,850 --> 01:14:31,689
up some of our Christmas stuff and to

2067
01:14:31,689 --> 01:14:32,510
run errands,

2068
01:14:33,045 --> 01:14:35,444
because the closer you get to the actual

2069
01:14:35,444 --> 01:14:37,444
day of I don't wanna go out if

2070
01:14:37,444 --> 01:14:38,885
we don't have to. Yeah. I know. But

2071
01:14:38,885 --> 01:14:40,564
we have to get an apple pie from

2072
01:14:40,564 --> 01:14:41,465
Sam's Club.

2073
01:14:42,005 --> 01:14:44,104
Mhmm. That is the mission. And,

2074
01:14:44,484 --> 01:14:44,984
like,

2075
01:14:45,844 --> 01:14:48,689
once I've once the Internet told me Google

2076
01:14:48,689 --> 01:14:50,689
told me you could freeze them, I was

2077
01:14:50,689 --> 01:14:52,630
like, look. We don't have to go

2078
01:14:53,010 --> 01:14:54,770
a day or 2 before Christmas. We can

2079
01:14:54,770 --> 01:14:57,409
do this earlier when it's chaotic but slightly

2080
01:14:57,409 --> 01:14:57,909
less

2081
01:14:58,449 --> 01:15:00,449
chaotic and frantic as it will be in

2082
01:15:00,449 --> 01:15:03,835
the 24 to 48 hours before Christmas. Right.

2083
01:15:03,835 --> 01:15:06,094
Right. Right. Right. Right. So Yep.

2084
01:15:06,475 --> 01:15:07,295
Yeah. It's

2085
01:15:08,875 --> 01:15:10,954
but, yeah, we I've I've been looking forward

2086
01:15:10,954 --> 01:15:13,994
to tomorrow afternoon though. Supposedly, I'm getting taken

2087
01:15:13,994 --> 01:15:16,849
on a lunch date. We'll see. Mhmm. And

2088
01:15:16,849 --> 01:15:17,969
then we have to make a list of

2089
01:15:17,969 --> 01:15:19,090
all the things we need to go do

2090
01:15:19,090 --> 01:15:19,989
so we don't forget

2091
01:15:20,609 --> 01:15:22,929
them. But The list is getting bigger. And

2092
01:15:22,929 --> 01:15:24,609
every day, we're like, oh, we should do

2093
01:15:24,609 --> 01:15:25,429
that too.

2094
01:15:25,729 --> 01:15:26,929
This morning, I went to her and was

2095
01:15:26,929 --> 01:15:28,210
like, oh, we need to eat go to

2096
01:15:28,210 --> 01:15:29,590
either Home Depot or Lowe's.

2097
01:15:31,305 --> 01:15:31,805
Okay.

2098
01:15:32,425 --> 01:15:34,265
And once I realized I could no longer

2099
01:15:34,265 --> 01:15:36,265
keep track of what all we're supposed to

2100
01:15:36,265 --> 01:15:38,505
do on this Thursday afternoon out, I was

2101
01:15:38,505 --> 01:15:39,005
like,

2102
01:15:39,385 --> 01:15:41,225
let's make a list. Because it's not just

2103
01:15:41,225 --> 01:15:42,585
where do we need to go, it's what

2104
01:15:42,585 --> 01:15:44,185
do we need to get from those places.

2105
01:15:44,185 --> 01:15:46,260
The only thing I'm sure of is at

2106
01:15:46,340 --> 01:15:47,939
Sam's Club. I wanna get we wanna get

2107
01:15:47,939 --> 01:15:49,619
an apple pie, and we wanna get their

2108
01:15:49,619 --> 01:15:51,939
massive ass cinnamon rolls. That's what we wanna

2109
01:15:51,939 --> 01:15:53,619
do. Mhmm. That's right. I forgot about the

2110
01:15:53,619 --> 01:15:54,439
cinnamon rolls.

2111
01:15:55,059 --> 01:15:57,939
Andre, I would normally never go to they

2112
01:15:57,939 --> 01:15:59,800
also come this close to Christmas.

2113
01:16:00,420 --> 01:16:02,119
If the oldest had not

2114
01:16:02,465 --> 01:16:04,944
requested an apple pie JB always wants an

2115
01:16:04,944 --> 01:16:06,404
apple pie. That is easy.

2116
01:16:06,704 --> 01:16:10,305
But the oldest requested it, and we have

2117
01:16:10,305 --> 01:16:12,725
not loved some of, like, the regular grocery

2118
01:16:12,784 --> 01:16:14,784
store ones that you get in the freezer

2119
01:16:14,784 --> 01:16:16,324
section or even in the bakery.

2120
01:16:17,189 --> 01:16:19,109
So we're like, let's let's go to Sam's

2121
01:16:19,109 --> 01:16:21,590
Club. Yep. Let's do it. Mhmm. And I

2122
01:16:21,590 --> 01:16:23,510
I know it's one of those things that

2123
01:16:23,510 --> 01:16:25,270
as a parent or just as a person

2124
01:16:25,270 --> 01:16:27,430
who is taking care of other people and

2125
01:16:27,430 --> 01:16:29,685
providing for other people, they'll never know the

2126
01:16:29,685 --> 01:16:31,685
sacrifices we made. Well, you know Like going

2127
01:16:31,685 --> 01:16:34,164
to Sam's. That's that's kinda like me. You

2128
01:16:34,164 --> 01:16:36,244
know, for many, many years, I I had

2129
01:16:36,244 --> 01:16:38,345
a thing. I will not step foot

2130
01:16:38,725 --> 01:16:39,625
in a Walmart

2131
01:16:40,405 --> 01:16:40,905
from

2132
01:16:42,340 --> 01:16:43,719
Thanksgiving week to Christmas

2133
01:16:44,260 --> 01:16:46,979
and, broke that We're too poor to not

2134
01:16:46,979 --> 01:16:49,219
to have that role. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta

2135
01:16:49,219 --> 01:16:50,439
go your ass to Walmart.

2136
01:16:50,819 --> 01:16:52,659
Yeah. We've we've we've had to do it

2137
01:16:52,659 --> 01:16:55,225
several times now. We've been strategic about it.

2138
01:16:55,225 --> 01:16:55,885
We have.

2139
01:16:56,505 --> 01:16:58,104
But I am so in my head about

2140
01:16:58,104 --> 01:17:00,425
a thing I wanna do and and can

2141
01:17:00,425 --> 01:17:01,725
do, which is nice,

2142
01:17:02,744 --> 01:17:04,905
in the boys' bathroom that I even said

2143
01:17:04,905 --> 01:17:07,085
the words while we're out on Thursday.

2144
01:17:07,945 --> 01:17:09,360
If we need to,

2145
01:17:09,979 --> 01:17:12,539
I will go to Walmart to get these

2146
01:17:12,539 --> 01:17:14,880
things for the boys' bathroom. Mhmm.

2147
01:17:17,900 --> 01:17:19,500
Audrey asked if we're doing gifts to each

2148
01:17:19,500 --> 01:17:20,560
other. No.

2149
01:17:20,875 --> 01:17:22,414
We're doing it through our children.

2150
01:17:27,835 --> 01:17:29,295
Because JB says to me

2151
01:17:29,755 --> 01:17:31,594
truly, like, I think it was moments after

2152
01:17:31,594 --> 01:17:34,574
the we're not exchanging gifts, are we? No.

2153
01:17:34,715 --> 01:17:35,215
However,

2154
01:17:35,914 --> 01:17:38,109
I need to make sure there's X amount

2155
01:17:38,109 --> 01:17:38,769
of cash

2156
01:17:39,149 --> 01:17:40,769
to do a thing. And I went,

2157
01:17:41,389 --> 01:17:44,349
well, I'm not a damn fool. I think

2158
01:17:44,349 --> 01:17:46,269
I know what that means. And so, but

2159
01:17:46,269 --> 01:17:48,349
then being me, out of sight, out of

2160
01:17:48,349 --> 01:17:49,949
mind, forgot about till he comes back and

2161
01:17:49,949 --> 01:17:51,574
goes, hey, you're the one in charge of

2162
01:17:51,574 --> 01:17:53,414
the account. Is this money there that I

2163
01:17:53,414 --> 01:17:54,774
need to go do this thing with? And

2164
01:17:54,774 --> 01:17:55,435
I'm like,

2165
01:17:55,814 --> 01:17:57,194
yeah. And then I went, wait.

2166
01:17:57,734 --> 01:17:59,914
You didn't lie to me and say that

2167
01:18:00,614 --> 01:18:02,774
we weren't exchanging gifts, but you're going to

2168
01:18:02,774 --> 01:18:04,179
get he goes, no. No. No. No. No.

2169
01:18:04,179 --> 01:18:05,960
And then he points at the youngest room,

2170
01:18:06,100 --> 01:18:07,800
it's from him. And I went,

2171
01:18:08,979 --> 01:18:10,119
so don't worry.

2172
01:18:11,060 --> 01:18:12,359
I worked with the boys.

2173
01:18:12,819 --> 01:18:15,079
JB will be getting something as well

2174
01:18:16,265 --> 01:18:17,085
from the boys.

2175
01:18:22,345 --> 01:18:23,864
I thought I was the one who found

2176
01:18:23,864 --> 01:18:24,604
that loophole.

2177
01:18:25,545 --> 01:18:28,125
Nope. Oh, thank you, Andre. Thank you, Andre.

2178
01:18:28,905 --> 01:18:29,725
Super chat.

2179
01:18:31,619 --> 01:18:34,260
No. We're kind of 1, we're we don't

2180
01:18:34,260 --> 01:18:36,820
spend any not one half a penny more

2181
01:18:36,820 --> 01:18:38,820
than we need to. But 2, we're kind

2182
01:18:38,820 --> 01:18:40,500
of at a point where when we want

2183
01:18:40,500 --> 01:18:42,500
something, if we want something and we can,

2184
01:18:42,500 --> 01:18:43,640
we just get it.

2185
01:18:44,554 --> 01:18:46,395
So if there's a year we're flush with

2186
01:18:46,395 --> 01:18:48,234
cash, yeah, we'll spoil one another in a

2187
01:18:48,234 --> 01:18:50,475
heartbeat, but this year's been mostly just about

2188
01:18:50,475 --> 01:18:53,135
the boys. Right. Yeah. We, you know,

2189
01:18:54,554 --> 01:18:56,475
talk yeah. We're just mostly gonna do stuff

2190
01:18:56,475 --> 01:18:58,109
for the boys this year. And even that

2191
01:18:58,109 --> 01:19:00,289
we kept kinda low key. Yeah. Typically,

2192
01:19:01,149 --> 01:19:01,949
we try to buy

2193
01:19:02,750 --> 01:19:04,590
the kids don't ask so they don't ask

2194
01:19:04,590 --> 01:19:06,989
for a large quantity of things. They're at

2195
01:19:06,989 --> 01:19:08,590
that age where they really only want 1

2196
01:19:08,590 --> 01:19:10,609
or 2 things, but they are always, like,

2197
01:19:11,295 --> 01:19:13,074
expensive fucking things. Mhmm.

2198
01:19:13,454 --> 01:19:15,395
And last year, we were able to accommodate.

2199
01:19:15,454 --> 01:19:17,135
Yeah. I still don't know how because this

2200
01:19:17,135 --> 01:19:18,654
year we're doing better than we were last

2201
01:19:18,654 --> 01:19:19,854
year. So I don't know what's going on.

2202
01:19:19,854 --> 01:19:21,534
I think I think this year we're we

2203
01:19:21,534 --> 01:19:22,274
are more

2204
01:19:22,734 --> 01:19:25,135
realistic about our We are. We we are.

2205
01:19:25,135 --> 01:19:27,289
This yeah. We learned some shit in 2024.

2206
01:19:27,590 --> 01:19:28,329
Yeah. Yeah.

2207
01:19:29,109 --> 01:19:31,529
We did. Yeah. We had to be humbled.

2208
01:19:31,590 --> 01:19:31,750
Yep.

2209
01:19:32,469 --> 01:19:34,229
So they're getting things that they have asked

2210
01:19:34,229 --> 01:19:36,250
for, but we're not we're not going overboard.

2211
01:19:37,685 --> 01:19:38,185
The

2212
01:19:38,645 --> 01:19:40,885
family, like, the sisters, my my mom and

2213
01:19:40,885 --> 01:19:43,364
my aunt, we've all already talked. Mhmm. Aunt,

2214
01:19:43,364 --> 01:19:43,864
uncle,

2215
01:19:44,404 --> 01:19:45,925
me, and JB, we're like

2216
01:19:46,805 --> 01:19:48,085
I said, you don't have to buy us

2217
01:19:48,085 --> 01:19:49,845
anything. They we're all broke. They they know.

2218
01:19:49,845 --> 01:19:50,965
I'm like, you don't have to get us

2219
01:19:50,965 --> 01:19:52,659
shit. You focus. If you wanna get get

2220
01:19:52,659 --> 01:19:53,859
it for the boys. I said, we are

2221
01:19:53,859 --> 01:19:54,920
giving you something,

2222
01:19:55,300 --> 01:19:57,380
but we did not spend money on what

2223
01:19:57,380 --> 01:20:00,020
we're giving you. Just time. Time. You know

2224
01:20:00,260 --> 01:20:02,600
Which is valuable. Every everything for both

2225
01:20:02,979 --> 01:20:04,579
for the for the family is going to

2226
01:20:04,579 --> 01:20:05,640
be homemade gifts.

2227
01:20:06,340 --> 01:20:08,755
Yeah. And they're your guinea pigs for products

2228
01:20:08,755 --> 01:20:10,994
that may come to your Right. Vanilla Etsy

2229
01:20:10,994 --> 01:20:12,595
shop next year. So that's exciting. So I'm

2230
01:20:12,755 --> 01:20:13,574
yeah. I've I've

2231
01:20:13,954 --> 01:20:15,954
put together a couple things. I've I've,

2232
01:20:16,994 --> 01:20:19,829
made butter boards Mhmm. For everybody,

2233
01:20:20,850 --> 01:20:23,590
which has actually been quite fun. I've enjoyed

2234
01:20:23,890 --> 01:20:25,189
making those. Mhmm.

2235
01:20:25,650 --> 01:20:26,050
And,

2236
01:20:26,689 --> 01:20:28,630
made Christmas ornaments. Yep.

2237
01:20:29,010 --> 01:20:31,454
And they're coming out beautiful, and yet the

2238
01:20:31,534 --> 01:20:33,375
things you're testing after the fact are even

2239
01:20:33,375 --> 01:20:35,055
more beautiful. So I'm very excited for next

2240
01:20:35,055 --> 01:20:38,095
year. Yeah. Yeah. I I in fact, I've

2241
01:20:38,175 --> 01:20:40,195
I have enjoyed making the

2242
01:20:40,655 --> 01:20:41,715
the, ornaments

2243
01:20:42,255 --> 01:20:44,655
so much that I'm I'm making plans to

2244
01:20:44,655 --> 01:20:46,439
have some for the shop. I

2245
01:20:46,979 --> 01:20:49,859
know. And and we have no concrete plans

2246
01:20:49,859 --> 01:20:51,960
at this moment, but we are talking about

2247
01:20:52,020 --> 01:20:53,960
can we make kinky Christmas ornaments?

2248
01:20:55,619 --> 01:20:58,020
And no concrete plans at this moment. We

2249
01:20:58,020 --> 01:21:00,180
may have a way to make them easier

2250
01:21:00,180 --> 01:21:00,614
and faster

2251
01:21:01,815 --> 01:21:03,175
to make so we can actually do it

2252
01:21:03,175 --> 01:21:04,614
instead of just dreaming about it. It's very

2253
01:21:04,614 --> 01:21:06,695
exciting. It's very exciting. Mhmm. So, yeah, we're

2254
01:21:07,015 --> 01:21:08,614
everything is really low key this year. We're

2255
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:09,335
actually doing,

2256
01:21:10,775 --> 01:21:11,095
from,

2257
01:21:11,735 --> 01:21:12,954
an American

2258
01:21:14,775 --> 01:21:17,510
white people perspective, a very nontraditional

2259
01:21:17,969 --> 01:21:20,609
Christmas. Yeah. We did we did turkey and

2260
01:21:20,609 --> 01:21:22,550
all that stuff for Thanksgiving, and that's fine.

2261
01:21:22,929 --> 01:21:24,789
Typically, what we then do is ham

2262
01:21:25,170 --> 01:21:27,090
for Christmas, but I don't like ham. I

2263
01:21:27,090 --> 01:21:29,024
like bacon. I like pork chops. Like,

2264
01:21:29,725 --> 01:21:31,484
I like all the other pork products. I

2265
01:21:31,484 --> 01:21:33,725
don't like ham. So I was like, I

2266
01:21:33,725 --> 01:21:34,625
don't want

2267
01:21:35,244 --> 01:21:37,805
to have to smell ham or watch everybody

2268
01:21:37,805 --> 01:21:40,125
eat ham while I just eat sides. Can

2269
01:21:40,125 --> 01:21:42,385
we do something different? And the agreement was,

2270
01:21:43,369 --> 01:21:44,989
we're gonna I'm gonna make a lasagna,

2271
01:21:45,689 --> 01:21:47,289
but the youngest doesn't eat lasagna. So I'm

2272
01:21:47,289 --> 01:21:49,849
gonna make, spaghetti and meatballs that will probably

2273
01:21:50,010 --> 01:21:51,050
sort of like when you go to Olive

2274
01:21:51,050 --> 01:21:53,630
Garden, you're like, here's your main entree of

2275
01:21:54,010 --> 01:21:56,875
pasta and here's your side dish of pasta.

2276
01:21:56,875 --> 01:21:57,375
Yeah.

2277
01:21:59,594 --> 01:22:01,354
And garlic bread. And I might even make

2278
01:22:01,354 --> 01:22:01,935
a salad

2279
01:22:02,395 --> 01:22:03,435
because I,

2280
01:22:05,354 --> 01:22:07,594
I told myself, I got all, like, excited

2281
01:22:07,594 --> 01:22:10,255
about this plan to meal prep salads.

2282
01:22:10,750 --> 01:22:11,250
Mhmm.

2283
01:22:11,710 --> 01:22:14,050
Bought all the things. Even went to the

2284
01:22:14,590 --> 01:22:16,030
the Goodwill and bought,

2285
01:22:16,750 --> 01:22:17,949
a a,

2286
01:22:19,310 --> 01:22:20,989
what the fuck? Salad spinner. Thank you. I

2287
01:22:20,989 --> 01:22:23,824
can't think $5. I was very excited. Haven't

2288
01:22:23,824 --> 01:22:25,604
made a fucking salad yet. So

2289
01:22:27,104 --> 01:22:29,265
whatever. And Ra Ra says, join my people's

2290
01:22:29,265 --> 01:22:31,985
Christmas dinner tradition, Chinese food. I sure as

2291
01:22:31,985 --> 01:22:33,925
shit thought about it. Mhmm.

2292
01:22:34,465 --> 01:22:35,916
I sure as shit thought about it. Well,

2293
01:22:35,916 --> 01:22:37,045
you know, doing doing the,

2294
01:22:40,130 --> 01:22:41,109
excuse me folks.

2295
01:22:41,569 --> 01:22:44,149
Doing the Italian, you know, the the pasta

2296
01:22:44,369 --> 01:22:46,850
for for Christmas, then it's like it's gonna

2297
01:22:46,929 --> 01:22:48,389
for me, it's gonna be like

2298
01:22:48,689 --> 01:22:50,369
being at my grandmother's. I know. And I

2299
01:22:50,369 --> 01:22:51,595
did think that you would not if I

2300
01:22:51,595 --> 01:22:53,114
did it right, you would not mind so

2301
01:22:53,114 --> 01:22:56,074
much. Mhmm. And those are also leftovers that

2302
01:22:56,074 --> 01:22:57,774
everybody will eat. Yeah.

2303
01:22:58,954 --> 01:23:01,835
The, the poor Thanksgiving leftovers. Man, I was

2304
01:23:01,835 --> 01:23:04,739
eating mashed potatoes for several days. I I

2305
01:23:04,739 --> 01:23:06,039
love Thanksgiving leftovers.

2306
01:23:06,979 --> 01:23:09,539
I make extra of certain things because I

2307
01:23:09,539 --> 01:23:12,439
want the leftovers. Leftovers. Yeah. But

2308
01:23:13,060 --> 01:23:14,579
I also hate when it gets to that

2309
01:23:14,579 --> 01:23:16,180
point where you just have to toss what

2310
01:23:16,180 --> 01:23:17,185
did not get eaten.

2311
01:23:18,445 --> 01:23:20,045
Oh, Ben, that's a good idea. Ben says,

2312
01:23:20,045 --> 01:23:22,065
I use my salad spinner to wash mushrooms.

2313
01:23:22,125 --> 01:23:24,685
I'm gonna remember that. I probably won't, but

2314
01:23:24,685 --> 01:23:26,685
hopefully, it'll come back to me when we

2315
01:23:26,685 --> 01:23:27,664
pull that mushrooms.

2316
01:23:28,765 --> 01:23:30,539
Yeah. I've wanted a salad spinner,

2317
01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:32,000
never fucking

2318
01:23:33,579 --> 01:23:34,720
used one, but

2319
01:23:36,539 --> 01:23:37,020
so

2320
01:23:37,420 --> 01:23:40,060
oh, Lola stopped snoring. Yep. She's on the

2321
01:23:40,060 --> 01:23:40,880
stove. Move.

2322
01:23:41,420 --> 01:23:44,319
She looks a little grouchy. Yeah. She does.

2323
01:23:44,539 --> 01:23:45,039
Lola.

2324
01:23:45,659 --> 01:23:46,335
Hot man.

2325
01:23:46,895 --> 01:23:49,055
I? I'm surprised she's not out laying in

2326
01:23:49,055 --> 01:23:51,454
the stones today. It's perfect day for that

2327
01:23:51,454 --> 01:23:52,114
for her.

2328
01:23:52,494 --> 01:23:52,994
Yeah.

2329
01:23:58,015 --> 01:24:01,079
So Yeah. That's, that's kinda been us. Yep.

2330
01:24:01,159 --> 01:24:03,159
That is awesome. By the time we talk

2331
01:24:03,159 --> 01:24:05,320
to y'all again, the holidays will be passed,

2332
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:06,920
New Year's will be passed. So It'll be

2333
01:24:06,920 --> 01:24:08,520
a new year. It'll be a new fucking

2334
01:24:08,520 --> 01:24:10,439
year. How does time keep moving like this?

2335
01:24:10,439 --> 01:24:12,439
Man. I'm not even gonna try to guess

2336
01:24:12,439 --> 01:24:13,899
what 2025 brings

2337
01:24:15,225 --> 01:24:17,304
because pretty sure parts of it are gonna

2338
01:24:17,304 --> 01:24:18,524
be a dumpster fire.

2339
01:24:19,784 --> 01:24:21,725
A cluster fuck, if you will.

2340
01:24:22,344 --> 01:24:24,505
Not in my house, but Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

2341
01:24:24,664 --> 01:24:25,645
In other places.

2342
01:24:27,810 --> 01:24:28,310
So

2343
01:24:29,010 --> 01:24:29,510
yeah.

2344
01:24:31,170 --> 01:24:33,729
We hope however whatever holidays you celebrate, that

2345
01:24:33,729 --> 01:24:34,850
they are a good one, that they go

2346
01:24:34,850 --> 01:24:37,090
the way you would like them to. And

2347
01:24:37,090 --> 01:24:39,010
you don't have to deal with too many

2348
01:24:39,010 --> 01:24:40,149
uncomfortable conversations

2349
01:24:41,284 --> 01:24:42,984
over family meals. There you go.

2350
01:24:43,845 --> 01:24:46,244
If you celebrate the new year, I stay

2351
01:24:46,244 --> 01:24:48,405
home in fuzzy socks and on the couch.

2352
01:24:48,405 --> 01:24:51,204
But if you celebrate, please be safe. Mhmm.

2353
01:24:51,204 --> 01:24:52,965
Call an Uber, have a designated driver, do

2354
01:24:52,965 --> 01:24:54,345
something. Do something. Whatever.

2355
01:24:55,010 --> 01:24:56,050
We would like all of you to be

2356
01:24:56,050 --> 01:24:57,970
back Right. In 2025 with us. Yep. We

2357
01:24:57,970 --> 01:24:59,250
intend to be back. We want you to

2358
01:24:59,250 --> 01:25:00,390
be back too. Exactly.

2359
01:25:01,329 --> 01:25:04,369
But thanks for listening, watching, especially to the

2360
01:25:04,369 --> 01:25:05,110
bitter end.

2361
01:25:06,530 --> 01:25:07,350
Y'all are

2362
01:25:08,244 --> 01:25:10,005
y'all are the real ones to be here

2363
01:25:10,005 --> 01:25:11,145
while we're just rambling.

2364
01:25:13,364 --> 01:25:13,864
And,

2365
01:25:14,244 --> 01:25:16,725
yeah, have a good holiday. Yeah. We'll be

2366
01:25:16,725 --> 01:25:18,885
back in a couple of weeks. Happy holidays,

2367
01:25:18,885 --> 01:25:21,385
everyone. Yep. Okay. Bye. Bye.