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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode

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416.

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Kayla Lords here with the 1, the only,

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the

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you giggled in an evil way when I

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referenced you as a playful, silly, goofy kind

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of dominant. Mhmm. John Brown sounded. I did.

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Is it because I was letting your secrets

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out? Or is that because it's not how

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you see yourself?

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Or some third thing that I have not

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said?

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I'm just gonna keep you guessing.

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Yeah. I know.

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That's what we're talking about this week. This

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week, we're talking about a concept that has

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had me in a choke hold.

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And the moment I saw these words strung

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together, I knew in my mind what that

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meant. I was like, we are gonna talk

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about it, and that is the concept of

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old relationship energy instead of new relationship energy.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday

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for your kinky pleasure and education, and show

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notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on fat life

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at loving BDSMpc

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on Instagram and threads at that handle I

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will forever motherfucking

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hate.

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It's loving d s and the number 1.

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So at loving d s 1 or on

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YouTube at youtube.com/loving

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BDSM, or you can watch us live streaming

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the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in

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the show notes. Ta da. Okay.

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Before we get into this week's topic, we

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are sponsoring

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us again this week because

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the Kinkery just turned 4. We just had

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our yeah. The 22nd October, which was

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Tuesday.

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What are dates? I think so. Yeah. Whatever

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day of the week 22nd was,

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that was our 4th anniversary.

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Our wedding anniversary

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is next Monday 28th.

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And 2 days after that is someone's birthday.

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Which we're live streaming on my birthday, unless

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we change that up. That's the second announcement.

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Give me a second. So for the kinkery,

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thekinkery.com,

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we're celebrating with a sale. The coupon code,

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all one word spelled out

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4 years,

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f o u r y e a r

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s, 4 years. Do not worry. If you

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go to our website, there's a little message

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thing at the very top that tells you

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what the coupon code is. Save 15% off

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your order.

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We just we are steadily doing

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restocks.

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As of the time of recording, Wednesday night,

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I just restocked soy wax play candles.

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Some paddles that

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thanks to the nature of our wait list,

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1 paddle went from 4 restocks to 1.

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So

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if there's anything you see and you're like,

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oh, I would really like that product in

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that color slash wood type,

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and it's not there, put yourself on the

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wait list. You'll get an email when we

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restock. Yep.

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So, yeah, 4th anniversary, 15% off. The sale

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runs through the 28th

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October because that's our wedding anniversary, and I

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looked it up. We've been married 7 years

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or we will have been married 7 years.

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Wow. 7 years. I have to look it

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up though

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because we got married in 2017.

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Okay. I'll say this. Thank you,

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Apple

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photo

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blah de blah things Oh, for Organizing things

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by years.

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So, yeah, thecakery.com,

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we are, we we are still restocking as

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we speak. I got the soy wax play

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candles in, and I just haven't made the

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paraffin candles yet. But all of the supplies

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are sitting

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to the left of me.

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So those are coming as well.

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So, yeah, that is that. Then I forgot

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to actually type it out in our little

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notes, but there is another announcement

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just to give everybody a heads up. Podcast

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listeners, this this will not affect you at

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all.

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But, for anybody who likes to watch the

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livestream or tries to catch it, next Wednesday,

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October 30th yes. It's my birthday.

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The oldest child also has a performance that

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he told me about 2 months ago. That's

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how much he wanted to make sure I

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was there

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and that we were there. And it's at

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a really weird time of 5:10

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in the afternoon.

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So there won't be a 7 PM livestream

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on October 30th. Nope. We had not set

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a time, but it probably be the noon

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time because that probably makes the most sense.

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So just if if you

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look out for the livestream or haven't been

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able to watch livestream because of the, because

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of our time change that we did for

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the summer,

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last Wednesday in October, it will it will

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definitely be an earlier time

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because we have,

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we have we have a place we need

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to be.

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So

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now I would love to get into the

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topic when somebody

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walked away

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because he thought he had more water in

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his cup than he did, and so he

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had to go do a quick refill. Normally,

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I make sure both of our drinks are

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filled before the live stream, but I was

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editing photos,

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updating inventory, updating listings.

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And I was doing stuff too, running around

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here from one end to the other. Well,

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my favorite was while I was in the

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middle of editing photos. I said first, I

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go, daddy, can I ask you a favor?

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He says no. Now I'm aware enough to

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know he was teasing me, but he said

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no. So I waited till I had the

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all clear

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that, yeah, no, really, I could. Then I

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was like, do you mind could you go

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get my water off of the kitchen table?

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I'm like, I'm parched over here,

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and I'm trying you know, but I don't

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wanna stop what I'm doing because I don't

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wanna lose focus anymore than I already do.

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He goes, sure. So he gets up and

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So I get up,

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and

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I think to myself, okay, you know, we're

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gonna be doing the live stream soon.

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I need to bump the air down. Let

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me bump the air because it's on, you

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know,

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the other, the other side of the house

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per se from the the dining room,

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and I'll grab it on the way back.

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So I did that. I set the air

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and,

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you know, put and set the timer for

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it and everything, and

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came walking back into the office

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With no water. And no

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no cup in my hands. But my perception

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of things, I didn't I did not realize

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he had walked out of the office and

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had been gone that long long enough to

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do all of that. So to me, it

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looked like I thought he walked out and

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walked back in with no water. And I'm

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like,

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did you just walk out there and turn

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forget what you were here for and turn

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back around? Anyway,

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it's been a doozy of a day. Not

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for any bad things. Just Just a doozy.

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Busy. Okay. So we're you're back now. You're

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hydrated.

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I'm hydrated. I'm back. I gave Lola her

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pet. She's heading off to her, excuse me,

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heading off to her cart.

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You mean her cart? Caught.

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Oh. Oh. Oh, no. This is gonna be

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a long night. I think so. So we're

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gonna actually get into the topic. Okay. And

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this is not an expression or a phrase

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that we came up with at all. Literally

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got an email from somebody for our q

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and a episode. We've already done the q

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and a, but I couldn't find it slash

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remember which one it was. But they were

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talking about the nature of their relationship and

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trying to kinda get back into things they

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used to do. And they sort of, in

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an offhand way, referred to the nature of

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their relationship as being old relationship energy.

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And my brain immediately went, I I don't

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know what they meant, but I know what

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it meant. Like, I want I know what

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that is. Yep. And it's the opposite of

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new relationship energy.

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And so I've just been thinking about this

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phrase.

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Since then, I'm like, that's a thing. That's

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a thing. And I never would have thought

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to, like, put those words together like that

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even though it makes sense. If you're not

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in new relationship energy and you you're past

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the point of anything being, like, kind of

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an unknown.

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I won't say past the point of anything

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being exciting, but you know, you just

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you you've been together long enough.

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Yeah. Old relationship energy seems like the right

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phrase. What that middle bit is between falling

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out of new relationship energy and getting into

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older, I don't know. I'm I'm not smart

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enough to come up with that, but I

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think that's a liminal space in between the

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2. But we're we're I'm going with old

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relationship energy is, like,

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a certain point

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that's not defined by time. I think it's

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defined

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by behavior, ways of being, comfort,

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how relaxed you are into into your groove.

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Whenever you hit that point, whatever that point,

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that's when old relationship energy starts.

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So

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for anybody who's like, but what is new

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relationship energy? Sometimes referred to as NRE. You

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love to call it NRE. Relationship energy? Sometimes

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referred to as NRE. You love to call

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it NRE, and I'm like, people are gonna

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think that's like a word that's like you

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just said in cursive or something. New relationship

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energy is that excitement and passion and

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That thrill. Oh my god.

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That

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excitement and passion and That thrill. Oh my

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god. That the you have more energy and

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you're willing to do all kinds of things

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because it's a new relationship and it feels

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good and everything's new and shiny and bright

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and exciting.

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My experience

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in new relationship energy, there is a whole

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hell of a lot more sex and fuckery

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if your relationship has either of those.

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Tends to be a lot more of it

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during new relationship

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energy.

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It does it can also be a time

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that's fraught with what ifs and I don't

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knows and uncertainty.

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But mostly, it's just a ton of excitement

269
00:09:54,365 --> 00:09:57,105
and being all, you know, for for

270
00:09:57,565 --> 00:10:00,445
romantic relationships is a lot of lovey dovey

271
00:10:00,445 --> 00:10:03,084
for sexual relationships. It's a lot of knocking

272
00:10:03,084 --> 00:10:05,840
boots for, you know, it's just everything is

273
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,899
just fresh, you know? Excuse me. In both

274
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,920
the amazing ways and also maybe the not

275
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,680
so amazing ways of but I don't I

276
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:14,980
don't know when I'm uncertain.

277
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:15,940
So

278
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,340
let's contrast that with how

279
00:10:18,674 --> 00:10:22,615
we would define Mhmm. Old relationship energy.

280
00:10:23,154 --> 00:10:24,615
How would you define that?

281
00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:29,475
Well, you know, we've been married for a

282
00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:30,695
hot minute now.

283
00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:35,970
Okay. Your.

284
00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:40,610
How would I define it?

285
00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:42,830
What does it feel like to I I

286
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:43,409
I think

287
00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:46,384
the best way I could

288
00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:48,144
describe that is,

289
00:10:49,004 --> 00:10:52,205
having settled into a comfort zone. Yes. Yeah.

290
00:10:52,205 --> 00:10:54,764
You there's a knowledge that you have not

291
00:10:54,764 --> 00:10:56,684
just of the relationship and kind of what's

292
00:10:56,684 --> 00:10:59,490
expected, especially in power exchange where you've negotiated

293
00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:02,430
things and you found routines and Yeah. You,

294
00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:04,910
you know, you built, hopefully, habits or just

295
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:06,910
ways of kind of, like, ways of getting

296
00:11:06,910 --> 00:11:07,649
through stuff.

297
00:11:08,830 --> 00:11:10,529
And, yeah, there's yeah.

298
00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:13,615
It's a comfy. It's like it's like putting

299
00:11:13,675 --> 00:11:14,175
on

300
00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:16,235
slippers that are molded to the shape of

301
00:11:16,235 --> 00:11:16,894
your feet.

302
00:11:17,514 --> 00:11:19,274
Or that or that old t shirt that

303
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:22,315
Or the soft sweater slash sweatshirt that you're

304
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:24,634
like, okay. Yes. This is my cozy thing.

305
00:11:24,634 --> 00:11:25,695
It's a Mhmm.

306
00:11:26,075 --> 00:11:26,399
On

307
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:28,100
at its best,

308
00:11:28,879 --> 00:11:29,700
old relationship

309
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,040
energy, comfortable and cozy. Yeah. I would I

310
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,660
would agree with that. Mhmm.

311
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,139
So what I did for

312
00:11:37,519 --> 00:11:39,715
this episode to try and find ways to

313
00:11:39,715 --> 00:11:41,875
talk about it without being completely all over

314
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:42,535
the place,

315
00:11:43,235 --> 00:11:45,715
I broke it down into the pros of

316
00:11:45,715 --> 00:11:48,595
old relationship energy and the cons. Okay. Because

317
00:11:48,595 --> 00:11:50,514
nothing is all good or all bad. Even

318
00:11:50,514 --> 00:11:53,169
new relationship energy has both its pros and

319
00:11:53,169 --> 00:11:55,009
cons. You know? Yes. Indeed. So much more

320
00:11:55,009 --> 00:11:57,669
fuckery, but also so much more uncertainty about

321
00:11:58,049 --> 00:11:59,730
what does that my partner think and what

322
00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:01,169
do they feel and I don't know. Right.

323
00:12:01,169 --> 00:12:03,490
Right. Yep. Am I doing this right? Like,

324
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,470
meh. Those are not questions I've asked myself

325
00:12:06,735 --> 00:12:07,235
in

326
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:09,554
literal years.

327
00:12:09,934 --> 00:12:11,855
I mean, at this point, probably a decade

328
00:12:11,855 --> 00:12:14,254
because a decade ago, we were god, a

329
00:12:14,254 --> 00:12:16,735
decade ago, today, we were living together. Yes.

330
00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,149
And it adjusted to living together. So there

331
00:12:19,149 --> 00:12:21,789
was some uncertainty, but not Not a whole

332
00:12:21,789 --> 00:12:22,529
lot. No.

333
00:12:22,990 --> 00:12:23,490
Uh-uh.

334
00:12:24,269 --> 00:12:25,870
Okay. Because at that point, yeah, we had

335
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:26,610
an idea

336
00:12:27,149 --> 00:12:29,870
of who we are and, you know, what

337
00:12:29,870 --> 00:12:32,445
we were expecting from each other. Mhmm.

338
00:12:32,845 --> 00:12:35,485
So what I'll do is I'll I'll run

339
00:12:35,485 --> 00:12:38,205
down what we know we'll cover in the

340
00:12:38,205 --> 00:12:40,445
pause the pros and cons of old relationship

341
00:12:40,445 --> 00:12:42,044
energy, but we might slip some more in

342
00:12:42,044 --> 00:12:43,725
there soon. So under I call them the

343
00:12:43,725 --> 00:12:45,330
positives, but you can call them the pros.

344
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:46,470
Comfort,

345
00:12:47,490 --> 00:12:48,549
communication shortness.

346
00:12:49,009 --> 00:12:49,990
I love that.

347
00:12:50,290 --> 00:12:52,210
That's gonna be its own episode at some

348
00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:54,610
point, and knowing each other very well. There

349
00:12:54,610 --> 00:12:55,889
will probably be more as we go through

350
00:12:55,889 --> 00:12:58,634
the conversation. The negatives are the cons. It's

351
00:12:58,634 --> 00:13:01,274
easy to get into a rut. It's easy

352
00:13:01,274 --> 00:13:02,894
for your relationship to stagnate,

353
00:13:03,355 --> 00:13:06,235
and it's easy to become complacent. Yes. Yeah.

354
00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:08,795
Which can which can really, really, like, screw

355
00:13:08,795 --> 00:13:10,875
up your relationship. Hurt. Yep. So let's start

356
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,190
with the the good stuff. This the stuff

357
00:13:13,190 --> 00:13:15,529
we find to be positive about,

358
00:13:16,470 --> 00:13:20,169
a long term power exchange relationship. Okay. So

359
00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:22,470
the comfort part, what what is what does

360
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:23,669
that mean for you? I I think the

361
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,370
comfort part for me.

362
00:13:29,554 --> 00:13:31,254
Excuse me for the time, sorry.

363
00:13:32,355 --> 00:13:33,335
It's been a long day.

364
00:13:34,274 --> 00:13:35,975
The comfort part for me,

365
00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:39,335
kind of, falls under

366
00:13:40,879 --> 00:13:41,279
stability

367
00:13:41,759 --> 00:13:44,420
Mhmm. And and our routine. Mhmm.

368
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,080
I know what to expect. I know what

369
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,519
most things are gonna look like from day

370
00:13:49,519 --> 00:13:51,139
to day. I know

371
00:13:51,759 --> 00:13:54,524
your reactions to most things. You can still

372
00:13:54,684 --> 00:13:55,504
surprise me.

373
00:13:57,485 --> 00:14:00,305
Typically, it's it's not always a good surprise.

374
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:04,205
Because when you think you know how somebody's

375
00:14:04,205 --> 00:14:05,504
gonna react to something,

376
00:14:06,205 --> 00:14:07,745
sometimes you are surprised.

377
00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:11,329
And like that anticipatory

378
00:14:11,629 --> 00:14:12,690
thing, you know. Yeah.

379
00:14:13,309 --> 00:14:13,750
So

380
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:16,110
yeah. I I would agree with all those

381
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:18,029
things. There's there's a to me, there's kind

382
00:14:18,029 --> 00:14:19,490
of a a a peace,

383
00:14:20,269 --> 00:14:22,529
p e a c e peace, in just

384
00:14:23,165 --> 00:14:25,644
in that comfort because I'm not I don't

385
00:14:25,644 --> 00:14:28,125
walk around second guessing myself. I'm if I'm

386
00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:30,125
second guessing myself, it's a new thought for

387
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:32,684
me and for something that that we haven't

388
00:14:32,684 --> 00:14:35,165
necessarily gone through before. Yeah. But I'm not

389
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,679
second guessing my submission. I'm not second guessing

390
00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:39,759
what you want from me. I don't walk

391
00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:42,399
around questioning that. I am very comfortable in

392
00:14:42,399 --> 00:14:44,019
my role. I'm very

393
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:45,220
comfortable

394
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,779
in the strength of our relationship.

395
00:14:49,625 --> 00:14:52,184
I think you can have old relationship energy

396
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,345
and not always have the same level of

397
00:14:54,345 --> 00:14:57,784
comfort because Mhmm. Having old relationship energy does

398
00:14:57,784 --> 00:14:59,404
not mean everything is

399
00:14:59,945 --> 00:15:02,044
great in your relationship necessarily.

400
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:04,690
It just means that you've done this long

401
00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:06,769
enough that you've there is a comfort level

402
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:09,169
Yeah. Which the downside to some comfort level

403
00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:11,009
is sometimes people will stay in a relationship

404
00:15:11,009 --> 00:15:13,330
that no longer serves them Yes. Because it's

405
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,304
comfortable. Right. I think we've talked about that

406
00:15:15,304 --> 00:15:18,264
in the past. Probably. Probably. Yeah. That you

407
00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:19,725
know, while while the comfort

408
00:15:20,584 --> 00:15:22,105
it's a double edged sword. It can be

409
00:15:22,105 --> 00:15:23,625
a good thing, but it can also be

410
00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:26,365
a negative thing. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

411
00:15:28,309 --> 00:15:29,990
Okay. I'm already getting to it because I

412
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:31,769
freaking love it, and it's a communication

413
00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:35,289
shorthand. Yes. Part of that is knowing you.

414
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:37,750
Like, I know what you're probably gonna say

415
00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,389
to most things at this point. Again, yes.

416
00:15:40,389 --> 00:15:41,690
We I can be surprised.

417
00:15:42,945 --> 00:15:44,164
So our negotiations

418
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:47,105
do not sound like they did No. They

419
00:15:47,105 --> 00:15:48,644
did. 12 years ago.

420
00:15:49,504 --> 00:15:51,445
That was a very sort of,

421
00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:52,884
controlled

422
00:15:53,345 --> 00:15:53,745
and

423
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,049
there was a was a lot more in-depth.

424
00:15:58,350 --> 00:15:59,950
It was in-depth, but there was also a

425
00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:01,970
sort of a there's a word I want.

426
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,750
It was almost formalized in some ways. Like,

427
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:06,830
we're gonna sit down at this time and

428
00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:08,745
do this thing, and we're gonna discuss. And,

429
00:16:08,745 --> 00:16:10,184
you know, for a while, we were on

430
00:16:10,184 --> 00:16:10,845
a schedule.

431
00:16:11,384 --> 00:16:12,184
And these days

432
00:16:12,825 --> 00:16:14,664
Yeah. We did. Can't even imagine it. In

433
00:16:14,664 --> 00:16:16,664
the beginning, we had weekly check ins for

434
00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:19,245
a while. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And now,

435
00:16:19,705 --> 00:16:20,365
you know,

436
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:22,870
the that communication shorthand is when one of

437
00:16:22,870 --> 00:16:25,190
us has a thought, we try to find

438
00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:26,549
the time when both of us are just

439
00:16:26,549 --> 00:16:28,789
available. Right. You know, you I don't know

440
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:29,909
I don't know what it's about. It might

441
00:16:29,909 --> 00:16:31,750
not even be about our relationship. But the

442
00:16:31,750 --> 00:16:33,714
shorthand is JB needs to talk to me,

443
00:16:33,714 --> 00:16:35,235
and he was like, after the stream, can

444
00:16:35,235 --> 00:16:36,834
can we sit outside? And I I need

445
00:16:36,834 --> 00:16:38,214
to talk to you. And I was like,

446
00:16:38,274 --> 00:16:40,615
yeah. Sure. That's as formalized as

447
00:16:40,995 --> 00:16:43,554
a negotiation or a whatever is a check-in

448
00:16:43,554 --> 00:16:45,714
is gonna get these days. Mhmm. Most of

449
00:16:45,714 --> 00:16:48,115
the time, we're gonna we're gonna be somewhere

450
00:16:48,115 --> 00:16:49,440
where we know it's appropriate. The

451
00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:52,139
you know, no kids are around. You know?

452
00:16:52,139 --> 00:16:53,100
We're not, like, in the middle of a

453
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,179
restaurant with a server around. But we're gonna

454
00:16:55,179 --> 00:16:56,779
be somewhere where we know we can speak

455
00:16:56,779 --> 00:16:58,539
freely, and one of us is gonna say

456
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,860
to the other, you know, I've been thinking

457
00:17:00,860 --> 00:17:01,679
about something.

458
00:17:02,504 --> 00:17:03,325
And then we're,

459
00:17:03,705 --> 00:17:05,884
you know Yeah. There's also

460
00:17:07,865 --> 00:17:10,505
you you you went. Do go. Well, you

461
00:17:10,505 --> 00:17:12,424
know, I was thinking too the the the

462
00:17:12,424 --> 00:17:13,724
communication shorthand

463
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:17,240
also, you know, not just for that, but

464
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,940
I I have found that even in in

465
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:21,640
day to day things,

466
00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:25,559
you know, I can

467
00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:29,615
pretty much

468
00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:31,695
tell where you're at

469
00:17:32,315 --> 00:17:33,134
with your

470
00:17:33,674 --> 00:17:36,015
body language. Oh sure. A lot of things.

471
00:17:36,875 --> 00:17:37,615
Say it's

472
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,715
funny, we we joked about this, you know,

473
00:17:40,715 --> 00:17:41,535
about your,

474
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:44,250
oh gosh, now again, your,

475
00:17:45,289 --> 00:17:45,789
size.

476
00:17:48,009 --> 00:17:50,490
You know, you're sighing when you're sighing. Sizing.

477
00:17:50,490 --> 00:17:52,890
Sizing. I heard s I z e. I

478
00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:54,569
was like, no, we don't joke about my

479
00:17:54,569 --> 00:17:57,525
sighs. No. No. No. No. The sighing. The

480
00:17:57,525 --> 00:17:59,605
sighing. The sighing. Yeah. The deep breathing. The

481
00:17:59,605 --> 00:18:00,424
deep breathing.

482
00:18:01,285 --> 00:18:04,484
And and, you know, we we talked about

483
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,404
in the past how, you know, I my

484
00:18:06,404 --> 00:18:07,625
desk is right

485
00:18:08,325 --> 00:18:09,865
next to hers. Yes.

486
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,679
And, you know, I'd be sitting there, and

487
00:18:12,679 --> 00:18:14,599
she'd be doing these deep sighs, and I'd

488
00:18:14,599 --> 00:18:16,380
be, what's wrong? What's wrong?

489
00:18:17,319 --> 00:18:17,819
And

490
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,839
and now I've kind of come to the

491
00:18:20,839 --> 00:18:23,960
point where I can tell your sighs. Oh,

492
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,235
wow. Okay. Okay. I I know when you're

493
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,315
just deep breathing and I know when something

494
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,475
is really You probably know better than I

495
00:18:30,475 --> 00:18:30,975
do.

496
00:18:32,075 --> 00:18:34,654
Like, because you can both be deep breathing

497
00:18:35,035 --> 00:18:37,115
and very, you know, feeling a way that

498
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:39,515
requires a sigh. Just in case anybody wondered.

499
00:18:39,515 --> 00:18:41,139
But you know what? You know,

500
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:43,460
I it it's things like that after,

501
00:18:43,919 --> 00:18:45,440
you know, the the the years that we've

502
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,440
been together that, you know, kind of pick

503
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,619
up on and Well, it's like I know

504
00:18:50,079 --> 00:18:52,480
when you were I I won't know why

505
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,480
or what it's about unless we've just had

506
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:55,139
an argument.

507
00:18:55,454 --> 00:18:57,454
But I know when you're closed off. I

508
00:18:57,454 --> 00:18:59,954
know when you we're not connected

509
00:19:00,335 --> 00:19:01,855
in the way I prefer to be connected.

510
00:19:01,855 --> 00:19:03,214
I know when you've got something on your

511
00:19:03,214 --> 00:19:04,815
mind, but you're not talking to me about

512
00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:07,694
it. Because it it's a body language, facial

513
00:19:07,694 --> 00:19:08,194
expression

514
00:19:08,575 --> 00:19:09,234
It is.

515
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,960
Shortness of tone when you do speak. Like,

516
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,240
there's all these clues that over time, you

517
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,960
know, we've just been exposed to each other

518
00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,099
long enough that

519
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,160
we have and we pay attention. You know?

520
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,355
We're we

521
00:19:22,654 --> 00:19:24,174
want to know what the other one is

522
00:19:24,174 --> 00:19:27,295
going through. We yes. We like any long

523
00:19:27,295 --> 00:19:29,075
term couple of any flavor,

524
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:32,015
we absolutely can take each other for granted

525
00:19:32,015 --> 00:19:34,420
or take the relationship for granted or not

526
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:36,019
focus on it in a way we would

527
00:19:36,019 --> 00:19:38,420
prefer. But we prefer to be focusing on

528
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:41,299
our relationship, especially our power exchange. It's it's

529
00:19:41,299 --> 00:19:43,940
meaningful to us. So when you have that

530
00:19:43,940 --> 00:19:44,440
kind

531
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:48,035
of purposeful focus on one another, you're gonna

532
00:19:48,035 --> 00:19:50,214
learn shit about each other. Oh, yeah.

533
00:19:50,515 --> 00:19:52,674
Oh, yeah. And you're gonna notice stuff. It

534
00:19:52,674 --> 00:19:54,054
used to drive him crazy

535
00:19:54,515 --> 00:19:56,855
that I would be picking up on

536
00:19:57,954 --> 00:19:58,454
anxiety,

537
00:19:58,835 --> 00:20:02,194
unease, stress, whatever disconnect, whatever whatever from him

538
00:20:02,194 --> 00:20:02,694
before,

539
00:20:03,099 --> 00:20:03,839
either before

540
00:20:04,539 --> 00:20:06,380
he recognized it for yourself or was just

541
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:07,819
ready to talk about it. Because I'd be

542
00:20:07,819 --> 00:20:09,259
like, what is wrong? He's like, I do

543
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:10,859
not know what you mean. No. No. No.

544
00:20:10,859 --> 00:20:12,000
No. No. I've got

545
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:15,579
an 82 point bullet point list of all

546
00:20:15,579 --> 00:20:17,705
the things that are not quite right. That

547
00:20:17,705 --> 00:20:19,244
you've been doing. Yeah. Yeah.

548
00:20:20,184 --> 00:20:22,664
I'm sorry that you don't realize it, but

549
00:20:22,664 --> 00:20:24,205
I'm here to tell you

550
00:20:24,585 --> 00:20:26,605
I am an expert on John Brownstone

551
00:20:26,984 --> 00:20:30,210
and the many facial expressions, tones of

552
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:33,490
and body language, the way you you move

553
00:20:33,490 --> 00:20:34,470
your body up.

554
00:20:35,169 --> 00:20:36,309
Does that sound

555
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:38,069
unhealthy?

556
00:20:38,369 --> 00:20:40,149
I mean, to to somebody.

557
00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:42,049
Not to me. We live together. We work

558
00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:44,609
together. We raise kids together. We are together

559
00:20:44,609 --> 00:20:45,589
together together.

560
00:20:46,295 --> 00:20:49,095
I'm grateful that we genuinely like one another

561
00:20:49,095 --> 00:20:50,694
because that's a lot of time to spend

562
00:20:50,694 --> 00:20:53,174
with somebody. It is. But I, you know,

563
00:20:53,174 --> 00:20:55,494
I feel like for me, it would be

564
00:20:55,494 --> 00:20:57,255
sort of a bummer if I spent that

565
00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,795
much time around you

566
00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:00,670
and couldn't read you,

567
00:21:01,049 --> 00:21:02,890
you know, and know that I might not

568
00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:05,049
know what's going on, but I know something's

569
00:21:05,049 --> 00:21:08,089
going on. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. Communication shorthand is

570
00:21:08,089 --> 00:21:09,070
nice. And also

571
00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:11,690
and I think anybody who's ever been in

572
00:21:11,690 --> 00:21:12,750
a long term relationship

573
00:21:13,210 --> 00:21:14,815
will know this. But, yeah, yeah. In power

574
00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:15,315
exchange,

575
00:21:15,855 --> 00:21:16,355
it

576
00:21:17,295 --> 00:21:19,455
it it just makes things a little interesting.

577
00:21:19,455 --> 00:21:22,575
So one of our things is JB opens

578
00:21:22,575 --> 00:21:24,494
my car door for me. That is what

579
00:21:24,494 --> 00:21:25,235
he does.

580
00:21:26,015 --> 00:21:28,015
When it's just the 2 of us, it

581
00:21:28,015 --> 00:21:30,519
is easy for me to ask, is this

582
00:21:30,519 --> 00:21:31,640
a time, you know, do you want me

583
00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,240
to get myself out? Maybe our hands are

584
00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,079
full. Maybe it's a, it's a weird parking

585
00:21:35,079 --> 00:21:37,160
situation and it's just like, it's just more

586
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,480
convenient if I just get myself out. And

587
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:41,319
so I can just ask him. But if

588
00:21:41,319 --> 00:21:42,619
we are not alone,

589
00:21:43,559 --> 00:21:45,075
we have developed this

590
00:21:45,954 --> 00:21:48,274
eye head bop thing and we know what

591
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:48,934
it means.

592
00:21:51,474 --> 00:21:53,234
He'll do this. He'll nod his head at

593
00:21:53,234 --> 00:21:54,674
me. And I'm like, that means get yourself

594
00:21:54,674 --> 00:21:55,974
out of the car. Okay?

595
00:21:58,970 --> 00:22:01,289
And I I think any relationship could develop

596
00:22:01,289 --> 00:22:03,609
that, but power exchange being something that most

597
00:22:03,609 --> 00:22:05,849
of us wanna keep private from at least

598
00:22:05,849 --> 00:22:06,589
some people

599
00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:08,809
that might be around I am just have

600
00:22:08,809 --> 00:22:11,070
to. I am going to say,

601
00:22:11,695 --> 00:22:14,015
you know, yeah, it it we do that

602
00:22:14,015 --> 00:22:16,515
and, you know, sometime. What's funny

603
00:22:16,894 --> 00:22:18,355
is I I think,

604
00:22:19,615 --> 00:22:20,914
you know, I've I've had

605
00:22:21,615 --> 00:22:23,375
I'd like to believe I've had a a

606
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:23,875
positive

607
00:22:24,590 --> 00:22:27,250
impact on the boys in some ways. Absolutely.

608
00:22:27,630 --> 00:22:29,470
And and, you know, one of the things

609
00:22:29,470 --> 00:22:31,789
when when the youngest is with us, when

610
00:22:31,789 --> 00:22:33,250
we are all out together,

611
00:22:33,950 --> 00:22:35,730
you know, I will open

612
00:22:36,335 --> 00:22:38,815
the car door and let Kayla in the

613
00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:39,315
car.

614
00:22:41,375 --> 00:22:41,875
Well,

615
00:22:42,255 --> 00:22:44,674
it became established early on

616
00:22:45,775 --> 00:22:46,674
that the youngest

617
00:22:47,775 --> 00:22:49,375
was going to be the one to open

618
00:22:49,375 --> 00:22:50,355
the car door

619
00:22:50,659 --> 00:22:52,839
for mom when we arrived at a destination.

620
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:54,259
Just like he's gonna be the one sitting

621
00:22:54,259 --> 00:22:56,519
next to me wherever we go. Yeah. Restaurant,

622
00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:59,779
whatever. Yeah. Yeah. But I I just think

623
00:22:59,779 --> 00:23:00,259
it's

624
00:23:00,659 --> 00:23:02,500
And we live in the South, so many

625
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,815
people have commented on what a a nice

626
00:23:04,815 --> 00:23:06,355
young gentleman we're raising

627
00:23:06,734 --> 00:23:08,894
because he was the door for me. I

628
00:23:08,894 --> 00:23:11,855
know. I know. You did that. I've never

629
00:23:11,855 --> 00:23:14,174
been that. You're the one that that taught

630
00:23:14,174 --> 00:23:16,434
him that. He went, okay. And even,

631
00:23:16,734 --> 00:23:18,034
I I will say this,

632
00:23:18,335 --> 00:23:19,234
with the oldest,

633
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,240
he does not do that for you. Yeah.

634
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:24,840
No. Okay? That is not his

635
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:25,900
Nah.

636
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:26,779
But,

637
00:23:28,039 --> 00:23:30,220
I have clocked him out in the wild

638
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:32,380
holding doors

639
00:23:33,065 --> 00:23:35,005
for others. Very sweet. Yeah.

640
00:23:35,545 --> 00:23:37,244
So, yeah, we've got a lot of communication

641
00:23:37,305 --> 00:23:39,464
shorthand. I wanna I wanna be careful. I

642
00:23:39,464 --> 00:23:42,184
I want a separate episode to think about

643
00:23:42,184 --> 00:23:44,664
what communication shorthand is. Mhmm. But the the

644
00:23:44,664 --> 00:23:46,184
third one on my list, and we can

645
00:23:46,184 --> 00:23:47,680
add more, but it kinda, what we've been

646
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,240
talking about, kinda flows right into just knowing

647
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:52,580
each other really well. Yeah. You know?

648
00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:54,580
I I know

649
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:59,460
what you're gonna be like when you're sick.

650
00:24:00,115 --> 00:24:00,694
So I

651
00:24:01,075 --> 00:24:02,674
know kind of how much you're probably gonna

652
00:24:02,674 --> 00:24:04,454
sleep. Mhmm. I know

653
00:24:04,755 --> 00:24:07,474
which days you're gonna need to be babied

654
00:24:07,474 --> 00:24:09,394
a little bit more than days when you're

655
00:24:09,394 --> 00:24:10,914
like, me do it. You know what I

656
00:24:10,914 --> 00:24:12,755
mean? You don't want my help. You wanna

657
00:24:12,755 --> 00:24:13,575
do it yourself.

658
00:24:14,755 --> 00:24:16,190
I have kind of learned which

659
00:24:16,569 --> 00:24:18,730
illnesses are gonna make you just cranky because

660
00:24:18,730 --> 00:24:20,649
you just don't feel good. It's not so

661
00:24:20,649 --> 00:24:22,250
bad that you need to be laid up

662
00:24:22,250 --> 00:24:23,929
for a few days, but it's bad enough

663
00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:26,429
that you're just walking around being miserable. Mhmm.

664
00:24:28,169 --> 00:24:29,769
The thing I learned, this is not really

665
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:31,424
about the the topic, but it is just

666
00:24:31,424 --> 00:24:33,265
a side note for anybody who might be

667
00:24:33,265 --> 00:24:35,045
wired similarly to me.

668
00:24:35,985 --> 00:24:38,305
Many of us being raised and socialized as

669
00:24:38,305 --> 00:24:40,884
women, you know, in western society,

670
00:24:41,744 --> 00:24:43,265
I do not stop or slow down just

671
00:24:43,265 --> 00:24:44,950
because I've got a cold. I do not

672
00:24:44,950 --> 00:24:47,109
take a nap just because I'm tired. I

673
00:24:47,269 --> 00:24:48,950
if I am in pain, well, we just

674
00:24:48,950 --> 00:24:50,649
fucking work through it. That is

675
00:24:50,950 --> 00:24:51,450
how

676
00:24:52,069 --> 00:24:54,470
I am for many different reasons. Part of

677
00:24:54,470 --> 00:24:56,710
it being just a thing many women can

678
00:24:56,710 --> 00:24:59,294
relate to. Being a mom, being whatever, all

679
00:24:59,294 --> 00:25:00,035
kinds of reasons.

680
00:25:01,054 --> 00:25:02,674
Early days in our relationship,

681
00:25:03,694 --> 00:25:05,375
I couldn't understand why I was always so

682
00:25:05,375 --> 00:25:05,875
angry

683
00:25:06,974 --> 00:25:08,494
when you would get sick or hurt and

684
00:25:08,494 --> 00:25:09,954
you would take care of yourself.

685
00:25:10,919 --> 00:25:12,220
I would crash and burn.

686
00:25:12,919 --> 00:25:16,220
Man flu for real. Like, oh my god.

687
00:25:16,759 --> 00:25:18,759
And what's funny is I think I think

688
00:25:18,759 --> 00:25:19,419
it is

689
00:25:19,799 --> 00:25:21,099
it's not uncommon.

690
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,579
I think it's even understandable that,

691
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,179
you know, if

692
00:25:26,005 --> 00:25:28,744
in a in a cishet relationship, especially

693
00:25:29,684 --> 00:25:31,544
where you have the the stereotypes

694
00:25:32,005 --> 00:25:33,765
of the woman takes care of everything and

695
00:25:33,765 --> 00:25:35,065
never takes care of herself

696
00:25:35,365 --> 00:25:37,365
and makes life easy for her husband. So

697
00:25:37,365 --> 00:25:38,799
therefore, he can take a nap and he

698
00:25:38,799 --> 00:25:39,619
can just whatever.

699
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,240
We don't have we never had that kind

700
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,720
of relationship, but, of course, I can fall

701
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,259
back on those kinds of

702
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,259
habits and ways of thinking.

703
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,740
And so in the beginning of our relationship,

704
00:25:51,279 --> 00:25:52,924
I would actually be very resentful because I'd

705
00:25:52,924 --> 00:25:55,325
be like, well, I'm fucking tired too. But

706
00:25:55,325 --> 00:25:56,845
you know what it was? And I this

707
00:25:56,845 --> 00:25:57,345
is

708
00:25:58,044 --> 00:26:00,204
I'm gonna say maybe because of power exchange.

709
00:26:00,204 --> 00:26:02,605
Mhmm. Maybe because this is just a good

710
00:26:02,605 --> 00:26:05,244
relationship regardless of flavor. We're good with each

711
00:26:05,244 --> 00:26:06,384
other. We're very compatible.

712
00:26:06,924 --> 00:26:09,700
Instead of carrying all that resentment and holding

713
00:26:09,700 --> 00:26:11,859
on to it, what I fucking learned is,

714
00:26:11,859 --> 00:26:13,859
you know what? I'm sick. I'm gonna sit

715
00:26:13,859 --> 00:26:16,039
fucking down right now. Well,

716
00:26:16,339 --> 00:26:19,559
I'm gonna take a goddamn nap. Sometimes. Sometimes.

717
00:26:19,619 --> 00:26:21,605
Well, you're still lot. There there are times

718
00:26:21,605 --> 00:26:23,284
I have to step in, you know, the

719
00:26:23,284 --> 00:26:25,764
the the knowing each other well because I

720
00:26:25,764 --> 00:26:27,524
know you well enough that when you get

721
00:26:27,524 --> 00:26:28,105
a headache,

722
00:26:28,964 --> 00:26:29,704
you'll say,

723
00:26:30,164 --> 00:26:31,144
I've got a headache,

724
00:26:31,444 --> 00:26:33,444
but you don't do anything. I just You

725
00:26:33,444 --> 00:26:35,524
don't do shit. The moment I get focused,

726
00:26:35,524 --> 00:26:36,319
I don't feel

727
00:26:36,619 --> 00:26:37,279
it anymore.

728
00:26:38,380 --> 00:26:40,539
If I if I don't tell you to

729
00:26:40,539 --> 00:26:43,019
to take something for your headache, you won't.

730
00:26:43,019 --> 00:26:45,019
Quite frankly, if you don't tell me to

731
00:26:45,019 --> 00:26:47,419
take something, bring it to me with my

732
00:26:47,419 --> 00:26:49,099
water Yeah. I probably won't. Well, see, that's

733
00:26:49,099 --> 00:26:50,515
the other thing I've learned. I have to

734
00:26:50,515 --> 00:26:52,194
actually bring it to you. And I you

735
00:26:52,194 --> 00:26:52,934
know what?

736
00:26:53,794 --> 00:26:56,595
Talking along those lines of of learning to

737
00:26:56,595 --> 00:26:58,994
not be resentful of the fact that you

738
00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:00,934
rest when you are tired and you're sick,

739
00:27:01,315 --> 00:27:02,134
it's because

740
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:04,950
you do take care of me. You you

741
00:27:04,950 --> 00:27:06,789
want me to rest when I don't feel

742
00:27:06,789 --> 00:27:08,549
well as much as you want to rest

743
00:27:08,549 --> 00:27:09,910
when you don't feel well. And that really

744
00:27:09,910 --> 00:27:12,150
is the difference. If anybody can relate to

745
00:27:12,150 --> 00:27:14,470
that kind of imbalance of, you know, one

746
00:27:14,470 --> 00:27:16,744
person never rests when they're sick or they

747
00:27:16,744 --> 00:27:18,424
feel bad and the other one always does.

748
00:27:18,424 --> 00:27:18,924
Right?

749
00:27:19,865 --> 00:27:21,565
You over all these

750
00:27:21,945 --> 00:27:24,845
years, you have you have gotten more insistent

751
00:27:25,065 --> 00:27:26,285
about it. I think

752
00:27:26,744 --> 00:27:28,205
early days in our relationship,

753
00:27:28,664 --> 00:27:30,630
again, when we were in that space between

754
00:27:30,630 --> 00:27:32,789
new relationship and old relationship. Like, we were

755
00:27:32,789 --> 00:27:34,470
still kinda getting comfortable with 1 another. We

756
00:27:34,470 --> 00:27:36,789
were still learning a lot, but the the

757
00:27:36,789 --> 00:27:39,350
excitement, like, the the frenzy, the kind of

758
00:27:39,350 --> 00:27:40,490
excitement had faded.

759
00:27:41,509 --> 00:27:44,230
You know? I think in the beginning, you

760
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:46,285
did not quite know that that's how I

761
00:27:46,285 --> 00:27:47,265
operate. Like,

762
00:27:47,724 --> 00:27:51,005
I I will have a limb hanging down

763
00:27:51,005 --> 00:27:52,684
and dragging it on the floor behind me,

764
00:27:52,684 --> 00:27:53,964
but I'll be like, I got shit to

765
00:27:53,964 --> 00:27:55,805
do, and I'm gonna keep going. That's not

766
00:27:55,805 --> 00:27:57,565
healthy. I'm not proud of it. I just

767
00:27:57,565 --> 00:27:59,400
know me. And in the beginning, I think

768
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,240
you waited for me to just you figured

769
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,320
I was just gonna I'd just take care

770
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:03,900
of myself.

771
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:06,599
No. Cool. And what you were paying attention,

772
00:28:06,599 --> 00:28:08,279
and what you learned was, oh, no. No.

773
00:28:08,279 --> 00:28:09,799
No. I'm gonna have to go all daddy

774
00:28:09,799 --> 00:28:11,240
down on her and make her take care

775
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,294
of herself. Mhmm. And that's where, over all

776
00:28:14,294 --> 00:28:16,794
this time, I still don't do it consistently,

777
00:28:16,934 --> 00:28:18,234
but I am not resentful

778
00:28:18,535 --> 00:28:21,095
when you take care of yourself. Because I'm

779
00:28:21,095 --> 00:28:23,174
like, I know I have the freedom to

780
00:28:23,174 --> 00:28:26,214
do that. I just am a dumbass who

781
00:28:26,214 --> 00:28:26,714
doesn't

782
00:28:27,174 --> 00:28:28,579
do that. Yeah.

783
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,579
And that that is

784
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,000
that's a a part of the the long

785
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,220
term process of

786
00:28:35,519 --> 00:28:36,819
the relationship getting,

787
00:28:38,079 --> 00:28:39,839
you know, not just what do you do

788
00:28:39,839 --> 00:28:41,914
for me and how do you learn me

789
00:28:41,914 --> 00:28:43,434
and how do I learn you, but what

790
00:28:43,434 --> 00:28:45,355
is it that you do that has taught

791
00:28:45,355 --> 00:28:47,855
me something? What am I learning about myself

792
00:28:48,875 --> 00:28:51,115
because I'm in a relationship with you? Yeah.

793
00:28:51,115 --> 00:28:53,674
And, you know, that won't be the same

794
00:28:53,674 --> 00:28:54,174
from

795
00:28:55,130 --> 00:28:57,690
relationship to relationship because we each have different

796
00:28:57,690 --> 00:28:59,930
things to teach one another, you know, in

797
00:28:59,930 --> 00:29:00,750
any relationship.

798
00:29:01,210 --> 00:29:03,769
But that's that's a thing that I've, you

799
00:29:03,769 --> 00:29:04,910
know, sort of noticed.

800
00:29:05,370 --> 00:29:07,150
You've you've trained me well.

801
00:29:08,785 --> 00:29:11,045
I now have, not always,

802
00:29:11,424 --> 00:29:13,045
but more than I used to,

803
00:29:13,424 --> 00:29:15,904
if I am gonna actually complain about the

804
00:29:15,904 --> 00:29:18,225
headache, I better follow it up with, and

805
00:29:18,225 --> 00:29:20,485
yes, I took something off. Right. Yep.

806
00:29:21,329 --> 00:29:23,009
Because you know I'm gonna be asking you.

807
00:29:23,009 --> 00:29:24,369
I'm just having a pill bottle in your

808
00:29:24,369 --> 00:29:25,730
hand. And then I'm gonna get the look,

809
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:27,569
and then he's gonna have his own side.

810
00:29:27,569 --> 00:29:28,950
That's another part of a relationship,

811
00:29:29,250 --> 00:29:29,750
Angie.

812
00:29:30,609 --> 00:29:33,349
You can get it wrong, but I know

813
00:29:34,045 --> 00:29:34,545
99.9%

814
00:29:35,325 --> 00:29:37,884
of the time how he's going to react

815
00:29:37,884 --> 00:29:38,785
to something. Good,

816
00:29:39,964 --> 00:29:43,505
bad, neutral, doesn't matter. I can almost clock

817
00:29:43,644 --> 00:29:44,785
step by step

818
00:29:45,805 --> 00:29:47,099
what he's gonna do.

819
00:29:48,619 --> 00:29:50,619
I I I don't walk around doing that.

820
00:29:50,619 --> 00:29:52,240
I think that would make life kinda

821
00:29:52,619 --> 00:29:54,700
boring and weird, and you do still have

822
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,240
the ability to surprise me.

823
00:29:56,940 --> 00:29:59,179
I'm curious if I have the ability to

824
00:29:59,179 --> 00:29:59,679
surprise

825
00:30:00,380 --> 00:30:00,880
you.

826
00:30:01,819 --> 00:30:02,319
Yeah.

827
00:30:02,644 --> 00:30:04,164
When was the last time I surprised you?

828
00:30:04,164 --> 00:30:05,764
Since you have a better memory than I

829
00:30:05,764 --> 00:30:08,424
do. My memory's gone to shit lately.

830
00:30:09,684 --> 00:30:10,984
Don't ask me anything.

831
00:30:11,764 --> 00:30:12,804
You know, the surprise

832
00:30:13,444 --> 00:30:14,804
I'm trying to think. When was the last

833
00:30:14,804 --> 00:30:16,244
time you surprised me? I know that you

834
00:30:16,244 --> 00:30:19,420
have. They're not big earth shattering surprises. Right?

835
00:30:19,420 --> 00:30:22,320
It's usually small things because I'm making assumptions

836
00:30:22,539 --> 00:30:24,720
that I know who you are based on

837
00:30:24,779 --> 00:30:26,380
12 years together. I'm I'm I'm mean And

838
00:30:26,380 --> 00:30:28,140
you'll still do something along the way. Things

839
00:30:28,140 --> 00:30:29,580
I use one of the things I used

840
00:30:29,580 --> 00:30:30,315
to do for you,

841
00:30:32,075 --> 00:30:33,754
I don't go out that much by myself

842
00:30:33,754 --> 00:30:34,254
anymore.

843
00:30:34,634 --> 00:30:34,875
But,

844
00:30:36,154 --> 00:30:37,754
when I used to pick the youngest up

845
00:30:37,754 --> 00:30:39,595
from school, I would stop and bring you

846
00:30:39,595 --> 00:30:41,434
a diet Coke home. God, I miss those

847
00:30:41,434 --> 00:30:41,934
days.

848
00:30:42,569 --> 00:30:44,169
Not just the diet Coke. Yeah. I mean,

849
00:30:44,169 --> 00:30:45,929
not every day, but, you know, what? Yeah.

850
00:30:45,929 --> 00:30:46,429
The

851
00:30:46,889 --> 00:30:48,569
the get one of us will get the

852
00:30:48,569 --> 00:30:50,109
other a little treat. Oh,

853
00:30:51,130 --> 00:30:52,109
okay. This is

854
00:30:52,730 --> 00:30:54,855
when you know each other, and then and

855
00:30:54,855 --> 00:30:56,315
then the kids are paying attention.

856
00:30:56,934 --> 00:30:57,434
So

857
00:30:58,694 --> 00:31:00,454
we are all creatures of habit around here.

858
00:31:00,454 --> 00:31:02,075
We like our routines. That's it.

859
00:31:02,535 --> 00:31:03,275
The youngest

860
00:31:03,734 --> 00:31:06,615
therapy days, post therapy, we go to the

861
00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:09,015
racetrack gas station. Why? Because if you have

862
00:31:09,015 --> 00:31:09,755
their app,

863
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,019
found drinks are a dollar,

864
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,740
and they always have coupons for other things.

865
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,399
So we go there because I'm like, okay.

866
00:31:16,399 --> 00:31:18,000
I'll get a diet Coke. The kid probably

867
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,759
needs to decompress from whatever he was doing

868
00:31:19,759 --> 00:31:21,440
in therapy. Cool. Cool. So it became part

869
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:23,940
of the routine. And unless we're like,

870
00:31:25,055 --> 00:31:27,075
poor as shit, we're going. Right?

871
00:31:27,454 --> 00:31:28,355
And I typically

872
00:31:28,734 --> 00:31:30,575
and it's the it's the power exchange thing.

873
00:31:30,575 --> 00:31:32,654
I don't like to surprise you with something

874
00:31:32,654 --> 00:31:35,474
unless I know you want something because you're

875
00:31:35,535 --> 00:31:38,015
the the dominant charge. If you don't want

876
00:31:38,015 --> 00:31:40,035
it, I don't wanna bring you something

877
00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:43,180
Yeah. That you know, there's there's a there's

878
00:31:43,180 --> 00:31:44,480
a fine line

879
00:31:45,180 --> 00:31:45,680
between

880
00:31:46,140 --> 00:31:47,279
a happy surprise

881
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:48,400
and

882
00:31:48,940 --> 00:31:50,779
I didn't ask for this and I'm your

883
00:31:50,779 --> 00:31:52,779
dominant. Please don't give me what I don't

884
00:31:52,779 --> 00:31:53,599
want. Right?

885
00:31:54,164 --> 00:31:55,924
So when it's been a hot minute since

886
00:31:55,924 --> 00:31:57,305
JB's had some treats

887
00:31:57,605 --> 00:32:01,545
from our, you know, therapy appointment post whatever,

888
00:32:01,765 --> 00:32:03,525
I'll bring him something as a surprise because

889
00:32:03,525 --> 00:32:05,525
I know I'm paying attention. It's been a

890
00:32:05,525 --> 00:32:07,285
hot minute. He hasn't had a York peppermint

891
00:32:07,285 --> 00:32:09,400
patty. He hasn't he hasn't gone with us.

892
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,000
He hasn't gone to have this experience. I'll

893
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:13,080
bring something of that home to him. But

894
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,799
I also know that after it becomes part

895
00:32:15,799 --> 00:32:16,619
of the routine,

896
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:19,960
I'm checking in because I wanna bring you

897
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,279
what you want. Right? It's it's not about

898
00:32:22,279 --> 00:32:24,755
a surprise anymore because it's now commonplace,

899
00:32:25,375 --> 00:32:27,535
and he's the daddy dom. So what do

900
00:32:27,535 --> 00:32:29,375
you want? Tell me what to do. Also,

901
00:32:29,375 --> 00:32:31,055
I sometimes just like it when he tells

902
00:32:31,055 --> 00:32:32,355
me what the fuck to do.

903
00:32:33,934 --> 00:32:36,174
Pro tip. If you too like it when

904
00:32:36,174 --> 00:32:37,710
your dom tells you what the fuck to

905
00:32:37,710 --> 00:32:39,549
do and they haven't been because life has

906
00:32:39,549 --> 00:32:40,210
been lifing,

907
00:32:40,669 --> 00:32:42,589
ask them. What would you like? And then

908
00:32:42,589 --> 00:32:43,869
they'll tell you and look at you being

909
00:32:43,869 --> 00:32:45,169
a good submissive. Okay.

910
00:32:45,549 --> 00:32:46,049
So

911
00:32:47,549 --> 00:32:49,390
that was several weeks in a row of

912
00:32:49,390 --> 00:32:51,150
bringing them something home. And I asked the

913
00:32:51,150 --> 00:32:53,315
other day, the la the last appointment. I

914
00:32:53,315 --> 00:32:54,674
was like, do you want something? You're like,

915
00:32:54,674 --> 00:32:56,674
no. I don't want anything. And you looked

916
00:32:56,674 --> 00:32:58,215
at me like I had 3 heads.

917
00:32:58,595 --> 00:33:00,595
Well, because I don't like to go get

918
00:33:00,595 --> 00:33:01,654
something for myself

919
00:33:02,595 --> 00:33:04,055
and not bring you something.

920
00:33:04,434 --> 00:33:06,539
I I know. I really don't like it.

921
00:33:06,779 --> 00:33:09,340
But I really wanted like, this is what

922
00:33:09,340 --> 00:33:11,180
he told me to do. And hello, this

923
00:33:11,180 --> 00:33:13,180
is how we operate. So okay. So we're

924
00:33:13,180 --> 00:33:14,859
in the car, and we're going to race

925
00:33:14,859 --> 00:33:16,859
track or whatever. The youngest is like, get

926
00:33:16,859 --> 00:33:19,259
him something anyway. Get him something anyway. It

927
00:33:19,259 --> 00:33:21,464
was I was like, how do I explain

928
00:33:21,464 --> 00:33:23,224
this without going, well, he's my daddy. I

929
00:33:23,224 --> 00:33:25,944
was like I said, consent matters. He said

930
00:33:25,944 --> 00:33:28,125
specifically when I asked 3 times,

931
00:33:28,664 --> 00:33:30,184
you know, are you sure? Are you sure?

932
00:33:30,184 --> 00:33:32,345
I don't want anything. I said, he would

933
00:33:32,345 --> 00:33:34,444
probably not be happy if I just disregarded

934
00:33:34,585 --> 00:33:36,950
what he said. I said, because we are

935
00:33:36,950 --> 00:33:39,029
not the people who say, no. I don't

936
00:33:39,029 --> 00:33:41,049
want anything when we really wanted something.

937
00:33:41,509 --> 00:33:43,350
Right. Right. We don't live that long. Because

938
00:33:43,350 --> 00:33:45,430
I I even gave you the answer as

939
00:33:45,430 --> 00:33:46,170
to why

940
00:33:46,950 --> 00:33:48,809
I didn't want anything. Yep.

941
00:33:49,190 --> 00:33:50,714
Yeah. And I know, and I I know

942
00:33:50,714 --> 00:33:52,575
it's a funny thing on the relationships

943
00:33:53,034 --> 00:33:54,174
side of the algorithm

944
00:33:54,794 --> 00:33:55,294
where,

945
00:33:55,755 --> 00:33:58,015
in in typically cishet relationships,

946
00:33:59,034 --> 00:34:01,275
the the woman will go, no. I don't

947
00:34:01,275 --> 00:34:03,275
want anything when the the husband or the

948
00:34:03,275 --> 00:34:05,115
boyfriend's going to get himself something to eat

949
00:34:05,115 --> 00:34:06,980
and he damn well better bring her something

950
00:34:06,980 --> 00:34:07,480
anyway.

951
00:34:08,339 --> 00:34:10,260
I've tried to live that life, and I've

952
00:34:10,260 --> 00:34:11,719
just mostly been disappointed.

953
00:34:12,339 --> 00:34:14,579
It's much easier if I just fucking tell

954
00:34:14,579 --> 00:34:17,139
you that I want something. Right. Right. Right.

955
00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:19,464
Why why why play the games? But, you

956
00:34:19,464 --> 00:34:21,964
know, that is also something that I

957
00:34:22,824 --> 00:34:24,364
I figured out for myself

958
00:34:24,744 --> 00:34:26,444
over the course of a long term relationship.

959
00:34:26,744 --> 00:34:28,664
It does no good to play those games

960
00:34:28,664 --> 00:34:30,744
and to make you guess what I want

961
00:34:30,744 --> 00:34:32,859
when it is much simpler to just fucking

962
00:34:32,859 --> 00:34:35,420
tell you. And I y'all, I will say

963
00:34:35,420 --> 00:34:37,340
to him, I I really would like a

964
00:34:37,340 --> 00:34:39,260
treat, but I don't know what I want,

965
00:34:39,260 --> 00:34:39,760
or

966
00:34:40,300 --> 00:34:42,699
I'd like you to get me something. I'll

967
00:34:42,699 --> 00:34:45,260
I'll say that, but, yeah, we don't do

968
00:34:45,260 --> 00:34:47,625
this. No. No. You should just know bullshit.

969
00:34:47,625 --> 00:34:48,445
Like, no.

970
00:34:49,465 --> 00:34:51,305
So before we move on to the the

971
00:34:51,305 --> 00:34:51,805
downside

972
00:34:52,184 --> 00:34:54,344
of old relationship energy, is there anything else

973
00:34:54,344 --> 00:34:56,585
you would like to that's come up to

974
00:34:56,585 --> 00:34:58,045
mind for you? Nope.

975
00:34:59,460 --> 00:34:59,960
Okay.

976
00:35:00,340 --> 00:35:03,079
Let's let's get to the cons, the negatives.

977
00:35:03,619 --> 00:35:05,300
The downside of Right. And I think all

978
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:07,139
of these run together because if you have

979
00:35:07,139 --> 00:35:09,139
one, you have all of these. Mhmm. To

980
00:35:09,139 --> 00:35:11,239
ruts, stagnancy, and complacency.

981
00:35:11,699 --> 00:35:14,335
Mhmm. It's because, oh, I know or we've

982
00:35:14,335 --> 00:35:16,974
been or Yeah. And it's easy to put

983
00:35:16,974 --> 00:35:18,195
yourself on autopilot

984
00:35:18,735 --> 00:35:21,315
and just do what you've done every day

985
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:23,695
without looking up and going, can we do

986
00:35:23,695 --> 00:35:25,650
something a little different? Mhmm.

987
00:35:26,609 --> 00:35:27,109
Yeah.

988
00:35:29,329 --> 00:35:31,250
So what do you have to say about

989
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:31,750
that?

990
00:35:34,369 --> 00:35:35,589
It's all negative.

991
00:35:37,089 --> 00:35:38,309
That is so helpful.

992
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:41,474
Did y'all catch that out there? Does that

993
00:35:41,714 --> 00:35:43,014
Write write that down.

994
00:35:44,675 --> 00:35:47,155
Take that back to your partner and talk

995
00:35:47,155 --> 00:35:49,094
about it. One of them JB said.

996
00:35:49,875 --> 00:35:51,094
Oh my god.

997
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:53,440
No. It's,

998
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,059
you know,

999
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:56,900
ruts,

1000
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:57,860
especially,

1001
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,539
I think they are

1002
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:02,660
evil.

1003
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,079
Oh my god. Because because they creep up

1004
00:36:06,079 --> 00:36:07,905
on you. They do. You don't know you're

1005
00:36:07,905 --> 00:36:08,965
anyone You you

1006
00:36:09,265 --> 00:36:09,844
don't realize

1007
00:36:10,385 --> 00:36:12,625
it until you are are deeply mired in

1008
00:36:12,625 --> 00:36:14,305
them. And usually it's when you look up

1009
00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:15,985
one day and you're miserable. Yeah. Why the

1010
00:36:15,985 --> 00:36:17,824
hell am I I like you. I wanna

1011
00:36:17,824 --> 00:36:19,605
be with you. Why am I miserable?

1012
00:36:20,065 --> 00:36:22,760
Yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm. So, you know yeah. That

1013
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:25,320
they they, you know, rut ruts are these

1014
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,039
these insidious things that just kinda creep in

1015
00:36:28,039 --> 00:36:29,179
on you. And they

1016
00:36:29,639 --> 00:36:31,559
they are very easy to get into. I

1017
00:36:31,559 --> 00:36:32,699
know for us,

1018
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,960
there's lots of ways and reasons for ruts.

1019
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,855
But what I've noticed for us, it's two

1020
00:36:37,855 --> 00:36:38,515
things. 1,

1021
00:36:38,815 --> 00:36:40,355
we love a routine.

1022
00:36:40,974 --> 00:36:44,175
We like, there's it's comforting to just know

1023
00:36:44,175 --> 00:36:46,255
what you need to do. Yeah. And I'm

1024
00:36:46,335 --> 00:36:48,494
I live and die by a routine happily,

1025
00:36:48,494 --> 00:36:51,055
but a routine can become a rut Yeah.

1026
00:36:51,135 --> 00:36:51,635
When

1027
00:36:52,369 --> 00:36:53,590
there were opportunities

1028
00:36:53,969 --> 00:36:56,070
for other things that you also enjoy.

1029
00:36:56,449 --> 00:36:58,130
But it's like, no. Head down. Do the

1030
00:36:58,130 --> 00:37:00,230
routine. Ignore these opportunities.

1031
00:37:01,570 --> 00:37:02,230
And then

1032
00:37:02,690 --> 00:37:04,469
shit. The train derailed.

1033
00:37:07,214 --> 00:37:08,414
Shit. I had a thought and I bet

1034
00:37:08,414 --> 00:37:09,554
it was even brilliant.

1035
00:37:10,335 --> 00:37:10,835
No.

1036
00:37:11,614 --> 00:37:12,514
Mhmm. Mm-mm.

1037
00:37:14,335 --> 00:37:16,114
Mm-mm. Fuck. I I lost it.

1038
00:37:17,775 --> 00:37:20,349
Bratz? Nope. I lost it. Go ahead. Keep

1039
00:37:20,349 --> 00:37:22,110
going. Keep going. I've lost it. I don't

1040
00:37:22,110 --> 00:37:23,489
know where I'm going either.

1041
00:37:25,230 --> 00:37:26,449
You know, stagnancy,

1042
00:37:27,630 --> 00:37:30,289
yeah, that that's another one. That that happens.

1043
00:37:31,944 --> 00:37:34,105
You know, things just kinda come to a

1044
00:37:34,105 --> 00:37:34,605
halt.

1045
00:37:35,464 --> 00:37:36,944
We and, you know It goes along with

1046
00:37:36,944 --> 00:37:38,425
a rut. If you are in a rut,

1047
00:37:38,425 --> 00:37:41,304
everything is stagnant. You know? You're not looking

1048
00:37:41,304 --> 00:37:44,264
for opportunities to do things that you wanna

1049
00:37:44,264 --> 00:37:45,324
be doing. You,

1050
00:37:45,639 --> 00:37:48,300
you know or you're not seeing the opportunities

1051
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:49,659
when they present themselves.

1052
00:37:50,199 --> 00:37:51,500
Like, when we

1053
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,359
when we still had child free time Mhmm.

1054
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:56,280
Here's how I knew we were in a

1055
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,454
rut. We would have child free time. We

1056
00:37:59,454 --> 00:38:00,815
could we're in a place where we can

1057
00:38:00,815 --> 00:38:02,755
make as much fucking noise as we wanted,

1058
00:38:03,054 --> 00:38:05,054
and we just sat our asses on the

1059
00:38:05,054 --> 00:38:07,934
couch. Yep. But then 2 days later, we'll

1060
00:38:07,934 --> 00:38:10,194
complain that we don't get enough fuckery.

1061
00:38:12,159 --> 00:38:13,940
That seems like a problem.

1062
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,400
Like, it's like you're not even paying attention

1063
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,000
to your own life. Now I think that

1064
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,539
was the thing I was gonna say is

1065
00:38:20,159 --> 00:38:22,340
but about ruts. Yes. We are we're

1066
00:38:23,775 --> 00:38:25,855
routine loving folks. And it is it is

1067
00:38:25,855 --> 00:38:27,454
a source of comfort. It it eases my

1068
00:38:27,454 --> 00:38:29,775
anxiety. I I love a routine. But the

1069
00:38:29,775 --> 00:38:31,534
other thing is life will life, and you

1070
00:38:31,534 --> 00:38:33,295
will go through a phase in life where

1071
00:38:33,295 --> 00:38:35,234
you don't have a choice but to kinda

1072
00:38:35,469 --> 00:38:37,390
do the same thing sort of over and

1073
00:38:37,390 --> 00:38:39,309
over again, day in, day out, because you're

1074
00:38:39,309 --> 00:38:41,150
trying to survive this moment in life. It's

1075
00:38:41,150 --> 00:38:43,230
something stressful with work. It's something stressful with

1076
00:38:43,230 --> 00:38:44,670
a kid. It's your health. It's a this.

1077
00:38:44,670 --> 00:38:46,829
It's a that. And so everything else just

1078
00:38:46,829 --> 00:38:48,434
kinda has to go by the wayside, and

1079
00:38:48,434 --> 00:38:50,675
you just you figure out what you have

1080
00:38:50,675 --> 00:38:51,255
to do

1081
00:38:51,555 --> 00:38:53,735
to get through day to day to

1082
00:38:54,275 --> 00:38:55,255
just manage

1083
00:38:55,635 --> 00:38:58,515
everything around you, juggling whatever, because of the

1084
00:38:58,515 --> 00:39:00,295
thing that's happening. And what happens

1085
00:39:00,675 --> 00:39:01,494
is that

1086
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:05,440
issue will dissipate or it'll resolve or in

1087
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,599
some way, it's not as bad and as

1088
00:39:07,599 --> 00:39:09,059
stressful as it once was,

1089
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,679
but you don't look up enough to go,

1090
00:39:11,679 --> 00:39:13,460
oh, wait. I don't have to keep doing

1091
00:39:13,599 --> 00:39:16,019
it this way anymore. I can

1092
00:39:16,565 --> 00:39:18,565
go, hey. Can we do something more with

1093
00:39:18,565 --> 00:39:19,465
kink? Hey.

1094
00:39:19,845 --> 00:39:21,525
I have missed you. Can we connect with

1095
00:39:21,525 --> 00:39:23,545
our power? You know? Mhmm. And that's

1096
00:39:24,005 --> 00:39:25,144
that's the insidiousness

1097
00:39:25,525 --> 00:39:28,164
of the rep because sometimes it's it's it

1098
00:39:28,164 --> 00:39:30,179
doesn't start out as a bad thing. It's

1099
00:39:30,260 --> 00:39:31,159
it's a necessity. Right.

1100
00:39:31,699 --> 00:39:33,319
It's a comfort. It's just,

1101
00:39:34,099 --> 00:39:35,779
you know, it's just what you do Mhmm.

1102
00:39:35,940 --> 00:39:38,659
To to manage your life. And then there

1103
00:39:38,659 --> 00:39:41,319
comes that point where you're like Yeah. Oh,

1104
00:39:41,780 --> 00:39:44,760
I've I've not been paying attention to anything

1105
00:39:44,980 --> 00:39:45,315
but

1106
00:39:46,114 --> 00:39:48,275
this routine, this rut that we're now in.

1107
00:39:48,275 --> 00:39:49,014
And and

1108
00:39:49,315 --> 00:39:50,375
they are very,

1109
00:39:50,675 --> 00:39:51,414
you know,

1110
00:39:51,795 --> 00:39:52,295
ruts

1111
00:39:52,594 --> 00:39:54,214
very close to complacency

1112
00:39:54,994 --> 00:39:57,155
that you have on Oh, yeah. You know,

1113
00:39:57,155 --> 00:39:58,135
I mean, complacency,

1114
00:39:58,594 --> 00:40:00,510
you know, a little bit different. You know,

1115
00:40:00,510 --> 00:40:02,429
you you kinda think, well, you know, everything's

1116
00:40:02,429 --> 00:40:04,750
going really well. Just let just let it

1117
00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:06,069
let it ride. Let it let it Ride.

1118
00:40:06,190 --> 00:40:08,269
Let it slide. The boat. Yeah. Don't talk

1119
00:40:08,269 --> 00:40:10,289
about anything new. Mhmm.

1120
00:40:11,789 --> 00:40:14,510
What's on the negative end of complacency, there's

1121
00:40:14,510 --> 00:40:16,244
a what's the point kind of feeling. Because

1122
00:40:16,244 --> 00:40:18,344
sometimes things have been happening, and you're like,

1123
00:40:18,565 --> 00:40:20,085
I can't do any of this fun stuff

1124
00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:21,764
or this kinky stuff or add anything to

1125
00:40:21,764 --> 00:40:23,764
the power change because of whatever life is

1126
00:40:23,764 --> 00:40:26,164
doing. And you go, well, what's the point?

1127
00:40:26,164 --> 00:40:27,704
Well, and then you stay there

1128
00:40:28,244 --> 00:40:30,690
when whatever life is doing is no longer

1129
00:40:31,550 --> 00:40:33,630
interfering quite too much. The other side of

1130
00:40:33,630 --> 00:40:36,110
complacency is this feels good. I'm I'm used

1131
00:40:36,110 --> 00:40:38,429
to this, I'm comfortable. Yeah. The downside to

1132
00:40:38,429 --> 00:40:41,170
the being comfortable in old relationship energy

1133
00:40:41,550 --> 00:40:44,714
is complacency. Yes. It's the, well, why change

1134
00:40:44,714 --> 00:40:45,855
anything when

1135
00:40:46,234 --> 00:40:47,295
this is working?

1136
00:40:47,914 --> 00:40:50,234
It you know, am I excited about it?

1137
00:40:50,234 --> 00:40:52,474
No. Am I you know, we having as

1138
00:40:52,474 --> 00:40:54,474
much fuckery as we'd like? No. Are we

1139
00:40:54,474 --> 00:40:56,094
connecting in our dynamic?

1140
00:40:56,635 --> 00:41:00,230
No. But it's not the worst thing ever.

1141
00:41:00,230 --> 00:41:02,170
And I y'all, I'm not

1142
00:41:03,110 --> 00:41:03,929
I'm not,

1143
00:41:05,429 --> 00:41:07,590
like, pointing a finger at you and going,

1144
00:41:07,590 --> 00:41:09,750
that sucks. You should do it. This is

1145
00:41:09,750 --> 00:41:10,809
us. We have

1146
00:41:11,349 --> 00:41:14,704
have been there, are there sometimes even now.

1147
00:41:14,844 --> 00:41:16,045
Yeah. Like, we

1148
00:41:16,764 --> 00:41:17,744
2 days ago?

1149
00:41:18,045 --> 00:41:20,125
Earlier this week the weekend what is time?

1150
00:41:20,125 --> 00:41:20,864
I don't know.

1151
00:41:21,405 --> 00:41:23,824
We found ourselves out on the back patio

1152
00:41:25,029 --> 00:41:26,009
while JB,

1153
00:41:26,789 --> 00:41:27,529
we call it

1154
00:41:27,829 --> 00:41:28,329
elevating.

1155
00:41:28,630 --> 00:41:29,929
And if you know, you know.

1156
00:41:30,469 --> 00:41:32,949
He's out there, back there, and we're I

1157
00:41:32,949 --> 00:41:34,889
haven't gone out there to

1158
00:41:35,269 --> 00:41:37,989
sit with you in 8 days. Am. And

1159
00:41:37,989 --> 00:41:39,210
then we end up

1160
00:41:39,585 --> 00:41:42,625
talking about a variety of things. None of

1161
00:41:42,625 --> 00:41:44,144
them were at the point that they were

1162
00:41:44,144 --> 00:41:45,425
so urgent. We were like, we have to

1163
00:41:45,425 --> 00:41:46,385
make time. We have to talk to this.

1164
00:41:46,385 --> 00:41:48,224
Yeah. It was more of a a stuff

1165
00:41:48,224 --> 00:41:50,465
that had kinda just been simmering. Mhmm. That

1166
00:41:50,465 --> 00:41:52,545
we were we were fine, but we weren't

1167
00:41:52,545 --> 00:41:55,099
great. Like, if you can if you can

1168
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:58,200
be great, why settle for fine? Right? Like,

1169
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,599
if great's an option. Right? And we were

1170
00:42:00,599 --> 00:42:02,599
out there for, like, an hour. Oh, yeah.

1171
00:42:02,599 --> 00:42:04,300
Talked about a range of topics.

1172
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,000
Got some stuff settled that we didn't even

1173
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,079
know we needed I didn't. Yeah. We needed

1174
00:42:09,079 --> 00:42:11,605
to settle. But for me, I walk back

1175
00:42:11,605 --> 00:42:13,525
in feeling so much more connected. Like, I

1176
00:42:13,525 --> 00:42:15,844
didn't even the the complacency part is you'll

1177
00:42:16,005 --> 00:42:17,525
there will be a disconnect and you won't

1178
00:42:17,525 --> 00:42:19,284
even realize it. You know you know why?

1179
00:42:19,284 --> 00:42:20,505
Sometimes. I I think

1180
00:42:21,045 --> 00:42:21,545
because

1181
00:42:23,829 --> 00:42:25,609
if we're in the office,

1182
00:42:27,190 --> 00:42:28,630
one of our both of us are doing

1183
00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:29,690
something. Mhmm.

1184
00:42:30,789 --> 00:42:31,609
If we

1185
00:42:32,389 --> 00:42:32,889
go

1186
00:42:33,590 --> 00:42:35,609
sit in the living room,

1187
00:42:37,844 --> 00:42:39,684
that is kind of a signal we both

1188
00:42:39,684 --> 00:42:42,204
tend to disconnect. Yeah. We're decompressing. We're just

1189
00:42:42,244 --> 00:42:44,105
We're decompressing and and, you

1190
00:42:44,485 --> 00:42:44,985
know,

1191
00:42:46,804 --> 00:42:47,784
just letting everything

1192
00:42:48,164 --> 00:42:48,664
ride,

1193
00:42:49,445 --> 00:42:50,905
you know, and

1194
00:42:52,340 --> 00:42:54,599
to sit outside on the back patio,

1195
00:42:56,260 --> 00:42:59,380
you know, it's it's like a neutral space.

1196
00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:02,099
So it's disruptor to the routine, the rut

1197
00:43:02,099 --> 00:43:03,300
of this is what we do. We go

1198
00:43:03,300 --> 00:43:05,380
from for me, I go from office Mhmm.

1199
00:43:05,460 --> 00:43:07,844
To living room. Yeah. You know? Right. That's

1200
00:43:07,844 --> 00:43:10,324
how my day progresses. Mhmm. You go you

1201
00:43:10,324 --> 00:43:11,304
go shed,

1202
00:43:11,684 --> 00:43:14,164
office, living room. Yeah. And by the time

1203
00:43:14,164 --> 00:43:16,405
we're both even sitting there yeah. And so,

1204
00:43:16,405 --> 00:43:19,204
yeah, we have to disrupt that routine that's

1205
00:43:19,204 --> 00:43:21,670
become a rut. Right. And then and then

1206
00:43:21,670 --> 00:43:23,190
it's fresh again. And for

1207
00:43:23,590 --> 00:43:25,910
the nice thing about old relationship energy is

1208
00:43:25,910 --> 00:43:28,969
because there's there are surprises, but they're

1209
00:43:29,590 --> 00:43:31,269
not left, right, and center. Like, it's an

1210
00:43:31,269 --> 00:43:33,110
occasional surprise. So what it meet what that

1211
00:43:33,110 --> 00:43:33,610
means

1212
00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:36,675
is when we find ourselves in a new

1213
00:43:36,675 --> 00:43:38,775
space, we've disrupted the routine

1214
00:43:39,394 --> 00:43:40,375
even slightly,

1215
00:43:40,914 --> 00:43:42,454
it feels refreshing.

1216
00:43:42,914 --> 00:43:46,114
Mhmm. Like, it feels new and a little

1217
00:43:46,114 --> 00:43:48,275
exciting because it's a little different. But it's

1218
00:43:48,275 --> 00:43:48,594
still

1219
00:43:49,150 --> 00:43:52,190
there's still the comfort of, oh, yeah. We

1220
00:43:52,190 --> 00:43:55,070
do this. Right? We sit and we fucking

1221
00:43:55,070 --> 00:43:55,889
talk about

1222
00:43:56,750 --> 00:43:59,570
everything. Yeah. You know, deep stuff,

1223
00:44:00,110 --> 00:44:01,949
not so deep stuff. Mhmm. We solve the

1224
00:44:01,949 --> 00:44:04,065
world's problems. Yeah. You know,

1225
00:44:04,605 --> 00:44:05,105
whatever.

1226
00:44:05,405 --> 00:44:07,164
And even though it is a thing we

1227
00:44:07,164 --> 00:44:07,905
have done

1228
00:44:08,765 --> 00:44:10,304
at different times over

1229
00:44:11,005 --> 00:44:13,644
literal years, when you when you haven't done

1230
00:44:13,644 --> 00:44:15,405
it in a while and you you do

1231
00:44:15,405 --> 00:44:17,369
it again and you go, oh, yeah. That's

1232
00:44:17,369 --> 00:44:18,909
right. This is really nice.

1233
00:44:19,769 --> 00:44:21,289
Surprise is too strong of a word, but

1234
00:44:21,289 --> 00:44:24,010
it's such a pleasant feeling. I like, I

1235
00:44:24,250 --> 00:44:26,170
that was a point where I did not

1236
00:44:26,170 --> 00:44:28,010
even realize that we were had been kind

1237
00:44:28,010 --> 00:44:30,489
of disconnected from one another until I felt

1238
00:44:30,489 --> 00:44:31,594
the connection again.

1239
00:44:31,894 --> 00:44:34,795
And that's the downside of complacency and stagnancy

1240
00:44:34,855 --> 00:44:36,795
and ruts is you don't feel it

1241
00:44:37,094 --> 00:44:40,054
until something happens. Either a big bad thing

1242
00:44:40,054 --> 00:44:41,494
and now you've gotta blow up and you're

1243
00:44:41,494 --> 00:44:43,175
like, who are we and why why are

1244
00:44:43,175 --> 00:44:44,394
we fighting like this?

1245
00:44:44,695 --> 00:44:48,019
Or you get a reminder of what it

1246
00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:50,260
can be like at its best, and it's

1247
00:44:50,260 --> 00:44:52,039
like Yeah. Oh, yeah.

1248
00:44:53,059 --> 00:44:55,059
Normally, we've because we've had this happen a

1249
00:44:55,059 --> 00:44:56,579
few times over the years. Normally, what I

1250
00:44:56,579 --> 00:44:57,699
do is I go, okay. How can we

1251
00:44:57,699 --> 00:44:58,900
get more of this? How can we how

1252
00:44:58,900 --> 00:45:00,204
can we get out of our way? Right

1253
00:45:00,204 --> 00:45:02,065
now, I was like, oh, that was

1254
00:45:02,684 --> 00:45:04,304
nice. The next day

1255
00:45:05,405 --> 00:45:07,565
but you know what? The the feeling of

1256
00:45:07,565 --> 00:45:08,065
connection

1257
00:45:08,924 --> 00:45:11,585
is not just a a momentary feeling. It

1258
00:45:12,045 --> 00:45:14,400
we have talked better with one another

1259
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,440
Since then, we've, you know, we've been more

1260
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:18,500
present with one

1261
00:45:19,119 --> 00:45:21,119
another. We've been more in tune with one

1262
00:45:21,119 --> 00:45:23,440
another. That's a nice thing about old relationship

1263
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:23,940
energy.

1264
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:25,699
When it's a

1265
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,719
happy, healthy, power exchange relationship, we tend to

1266
00:45:28,719 --> 00:45:30,614
be very in tune with one because we

1267
00:45:30,614 --> 00:45:33,094
are paying attention to each other. And it's

1268
00:45:33,094 --> 00:45:35,175
not just, when things are bad, but it's

1269
00:45:35,175 --> 00:45:37,835
a when things are good and or neutral.

1270
00:45:37,894 --> 00:45:39,655
Well, you know, and and I'll admit, you

1271
00:45:39,655 --> 00:45:40,954
know, I've had my

1272
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:43,940
moments,

1273
00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:45,380
you know, like,

1274
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:47,859
talked a few weeks ago and

1275
00:45:48,239 --> 00:45:52,000
how I went through and started deleting apps

1276
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:53,619
off of my phone. Mhmm.

1277
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,179
I went through and I did a major

1278
00:45:56,445 --> 00:45:58,545
purge on my phone, got rid of everything.

1279
00:45:59,405 --> 00:46:01,485
I kept what? Two games and a coloring

1280
00:46:01,485 --> 00:46:04,385
app coloring book app that I enjoy.

1281
00:46:04,925 --> 00:46:06,945
But, you know, games, everything,

1282
00:46:07,644 --> 00:46:09,505
any frivolous, unnecessary

1283
00:46:10,605 --> 00:46:11,744
app, gone.

1284
00:46:12,570 --> 00:46:13,070
And

1285
00:46:13,369 --> 00:46:14,989
my goal has been to start

1286
00:46:15,769 --> 00:46:17,769
spending less time on my phone Mhmm. And

1287
00:46:17,769 --> 00:46:20,809
being more present. Mhmm. I I have gotten

1288
00:46:20,969 --> 00:46:22,269
I had gotten into

1289
00:46:23,130 --> 00:46:25,610
that rut Mhmm. Of being on my phone

1290
00:46:25,610 --> 00:46:27,135
in my free time. And it's one of

1291
00:46:27,135 --> 00:46:28,815
those things where you do it for a

1292
00:46:28,815 --> 00:46:31,534
sense of comfort or some dopamine or because

1293
00:46:31,534 --> 00:46:33,054
it was fun, and then there comes a

1294
00:46:33,054 --> 00:46:34,414
point where you do it because it's what

1295
00:46:34,414 --> 00:46:36,574
you do. And then depending on what your

1296
00:46:36,574 --> 00:46:38,574
algorithm feeds you, you do it because you

1297
00:46:38,574 --> 00:46:40,735
can't believe the shit that's going on in

1298
00:46:40,735 --> 00:46:43,579
the world right now. Yeah. And Yeah. It

1299
00:46:43,579 --> 00:46:45,500
just sucks you in. It started out as

1300
00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:47,760
a not necessarily bad thing and just

1301
00:46:48,219 --> 00:46:48,880
sucked in.

1302
00:46:49,500 --> 00:46:50,400
I mean, now

1303
00:46:51,660 --> 00:46:54,860
this was not a formal invocation of the

1304
00:46:54,860 --> 00:46:57,295
tough love clause, but I did kind of

1305
00:46:57,295 --> 00:46:58,735
use it with you at about the same

1306
00:46:58,735 --> 00:47:00,255
time you were telling me or I think

1307
00:47:00,255 --> 00:47:02,175
right before you you made the decision you

1308
00:47:02,175 --> 00:47:03,375
were gonna To do that. Be on your

1309
00:47:03,375 --> 00:47:05,474
phone. Mhmm. Because we were talking about

1310
00:47:06,335 --> 00:47:09,550
the state of the United States and the

1311
00:47:09,550 --> 00:47:11,170
upcoming election. Yeah.

1312
00:47:11,469 --> 00:47:14,909
And JB was basically frothing at the mouth.

1313
00:47:14,909 --> 00:47:17,650
And I I agreed with him completely,

1314
00:47:18,510 --> 00:47:19,010
but

1315
00:47:19,389 --> 00:47:21,809
I but I could see that it was

1316
00:47:22,030 --> 00:47:25,625
killing his mental health. It wasn't having serving

1317
00:47:25,625 --> 00:47:26,284
a purpose

1318
00:47:26,905 --> 00:47:27,405
to

1319
00:47:27,945 --> 00:47:29,085
know those things

1320
00:47:29,385 --> 00:47:30,525
or to

1321
00:47:31,545 --> 00:47:32,445
to have such

1322
00:47:33,465 --> 00:47:33,965
understandable,

1323
00:47:34,344 --> 00:47:36,925
but strong emotions about it. So I

1324
00:47:37,465 --> 00:47:39,400
did not sound like the good submissive I

1325
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,179
try to be. And I went, hey,

1326
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,739
does knowing any of that

1327
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:46,219
change how you feel about

1328
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:48,059
that politician?

1329
00:47:48,599 --> 00:47:50,840
No. Is there anything you can do about

1330
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:53,579
that information to change anything for anybody?

1331
00:47:53,945 --> 00:47:56,425
No. No? I said, so then my question

1332
00:47:56,425 --> 00:47:59,065
is why do you stay stuck in that

1333
00:47:59,065 --> 00:48:01,005
and consume that information

1334
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:03,704
when all it does is have you walk

1335
00:48:03,704 --> 00:48:04,204
around

1336
00:48:04,824 --> 00:48:08,284
pissed off with nowhere to direct that energy?

1337
00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:09,280
I said,

1338
00:48:09,579 --> 00:48:11,739
election's coming. We get to do the thing

1339
00:48:11,739 --> 00:48:13,260
we get to do. Yep. But

1340
00:48:13,820 --> 00:48:15,980
Yeah. I don't think all that anger's good

1341
00:48:15,980 --> 00:48:18,139
for you. And so in my mind, it

1342
00:48:18,139 --> 00:48:21,420
was the tough love clause. Yep. Yep. Because

1343
00:48:21,420 --> 00:48:23,659
that was a mental health situation instead of

1344
00:48:23,659 --> 00:48:25,324
a physical health situation.

1345
00:48:26,105 --> 00:48:28,025
Mhmm. But, you know, yeah, it was the

1346
00:48:28,025 --> 00:48:29,385
next day or 2 that you were like,

1347
00:48:29,385 --> 00:48:31,965
hey. I'm gonna I'm gonna do this. Yeah.

1348
00:48:32,505 --> 00:48:34,905
Yep. So yeah. Then that's the thing. Old

1349
00:48:34,905 --> 00:48:38,099
relationship energy is knowing when I can talk

1350
00:48:38,099 --> 00:48:40,500
to JB like that and when I cannot.

1351
00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:42,279
You cannot. This is not the moment.

1352
00:48:42,659 --> 00:48:44,760
Do I always get it right? Nope.

1353
00:48:45,219 --> 00:48:46,819
But more often than not. But when not,

1354
00:48:46,819 --> 00:48:49,460
you yeah. More often than not. Yeah. I

1355
00:48:49,460 --> 00:48:51,364
I I know you well enough to know

1356
00:48:51,364 --> 00:48:53,284
when or to think I know when you're

1357
00:48:53,284 --> 00:48:54,264
going to accept

1358
00:48:54,804 --> 00:48:57,445
the snarky side of my submission and when

1359
00:48:57,445 --> 00:48:59,385
you kinda need me to be,

1360
00:49:00,724 --> 00:49:01,224
like

1361
00:49:02,650 --> 00:49:04,250
I don't know. I don't have a good

1362
00:49:04,250 --> 00:49:05,710
word for the the nonsnarky

1363
00:49:06,090 --> 00:49:07,150
side of my submission.

1364
00:49:07,929 --> 00:49:09,949
It's not I'm still not meek or mild.

1365
00:49:10,650 --> 00:49:13,389
Demure wouldn't be right. I'm not those things.

1366
00:49:13,849 --> 00:49:15,724
I'm less goblin like, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

1367
00:49:15,724 --> 00:49:17,744
Like I'm I'm I'm polite.

1368
00:49:19,724 --> 00:49:21,885
I remember I was raised southern, and my

1369
00:49:21,885 --> 00:49:23,485
mama gave me manners, and I was not

1370
00:49:23,485 --> 00:49:26,204
raised in a barn. Exactly. Right. You've got

1371
00:49:26,204 --> 00:49:28,945
that that southern where you can, you know,

1372
00:49:30,230 --> 00:49:31,929
you can do it bless your heart

1373
00:49:32,469 --> 00:49:33,769
and and know exactly

1374
00:49:34,789 --> 00:49:36,409
which meaning it Look.

1375
00:49:36,710 --> 00:49:39,190
I is being intended. I don't know how

1376
00:49:39,190 --> 00:49:41,829
to be subtle. This this face I mean,

1377
00:49:41,829 --> 00:49:43,929
my facial expressions are way too loud.

1378
00:49:44,684 --> 00:49:45,405
My eyes

1379
00:49:45,805 --> 00:49:48,065
when my eyes roll, they, like, rattle.

1380
00:49:48,765 --> 00:49:49,265
Like,

1381
00:49:49,965 --> 00:49:52,445
you're, doing jacks in your hand. Like, I'm

1382
00:49:52,445 --> 00:49:53,664
just telling you.

1383
00:49:55,724 --> 00:49:57,929
If you don't know what I'm thinking, either

1384
00:49:57,929 --> 00:49:59,769
I have it on serious lockdown because this

1385
00:49:59,769 --> 00:50:01,210
is not a safe place for me to

1386
00:50:01,210 --> 00:50:03,690
let you know Yeah. Or you're not paying

1387
00:50:03,690 --> 00:50:05,530
enough attention. But with somebody I'm comfortable with

1388
00:50:05,609 --> 00:50:07,710
oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

1389
00:50:08,250 --> 00:50:10,429
Goes back to comfort. The you know?

1390
00:50:10,809 --> 00:50:12,329
Again, the thing that can be

1391
00:50:13,025 --> 00:50:15,505
the beauty of something like old relationship energy

1392
00:50:15,505 --> 00:50:17,285
can be the thing that harms

1393
00:50:18,305 --> 00:50:19,125
the relationship.

1394
00:50:19,664 --> 00:50:21,664
You get too comfortable, well, then you're not

1395
00:50:21,664 --> 00:50:22,164
growing

1396
00:50:22,704 --> 00:50:25,590
as an individual or together. Right? You're not

1397
00:50:25,989 --> 00:50:28,150
trying new things. You're not open to the

1398
00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:31,670
idea that that like, sometimes it's lopsided too.

1399
00:50:31,670 --> 00:50:34,309
Right? Like, one partner is comfortable to the

1400
00:50:34,309 --> 00:50:35,210
point of complacency.

1401
00:50:35,829 --> 00:50:37,670
The other partner is kinda had that moment

1402
00:50:37,670 --> 00:50:39,110
of, oh, yeah. We're kind of in a

1403
00:50:39,110 --> 00:50:41,394
rut. And also there's some things I'd like

1404
00:50:41,394 --> 00:50:43,474
to change on, things I need now that

1405
00:50:43,474 --> 00:50:44,135
I didn't

1406
00:50:44,434 --> 00:50:47,715
need before or whatever. And one partner can

1407
00:50:47,715 --> 00:50:49,655
easily come in and go, hey. Can we

1408
00:50:49,875 --> 00:50:52,355
talk about this? Can we renegotiate this? Can

1409
00:50:52,355 --> 00:50:53,974
we change this up? You know?

1410
00:50:54,275 --> 00:50:56,295
And a complacent, comfortable partner

1411
00:50:57,230 --> 00:50:59,250
who is just not paying enough attention

1412
00:50:59,869 --> 00:51:01,889
can be the the thing that holds

1413
00:51:02,349 --> 00:51:03,889
you both back from

1414
00:51:04,269 --> 00:51:05,889
finding kind of the the

1415
00:51:06,190 --> 00:51:09,250
new level, next level of whatever your dynamic

1416
00:51:09,309 --> 00:51:10,530
is gonna look like.

1417
00:51:10,954 --> 00:51:11,775
But, you know,

1418
00:51:12,315 --> 00:51:14,574
all that stuff we were talking about,

1419
00:51:14,875 --> 00:51:17,195
you know, the old relationship energy and and

1420
00:51:17,195 --> 00:51:18,414
all the different things,

1421
00:51:19,275 --> 00:51:20,175
and, you know,

1422
00:51:20,474 --> 00:51:23,454
again, with with the comfort, with the complacency,

1423
00:51:23,914 --> 00:51:24,974
and and the stagnant,

1424
00:51:25,675 --> 00:51:26,219
you know,

1425
00:51:28,059 --> 00:51:29,760
the I I think,

1426
00:51:30,219 --> 00:51:32,059
you know, all all of those things can

1427
00:51:32,059 --> 00:51:32,559
be

1428
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:36,559
overcome. Yes. Okay? Yes. It it it absolutely

1429
00:51:36,780 --> 00:51:37,280
can.

1430
00:51:39,684 --> 00:51:41,444
Here's the crux to it, and and this

1431
00:51:41,444 --> 00:51:43,864
is something I've talked about before, and,

1432
00:51:45,125 --> 00:51:46,505
you know, you

1433
00:51:47,045 --> 00:51:48,344
get into that

1434
00:51:48,964 --> 00:51:51,525
into that comfort zone, your your your role,

1435
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:53,420
and everything's just going the way it should

1436
00:51:53,420 --> 00:51:55,440
and, you know, just leave things be.

1437
00:51:57,260 --> 00:51:59,579
It comes down to the fact that change

1438
00:51:59,579 --> 00:52:00,320
is difficult.

1439
00:52:00,860 --> 00:52:03,840
Change sucks, man. Yeah. Change change can suck.

1440
00:52:03,980 --> 00:52:04,800
It's inevitable.

1441
00:52:05,099 --> 00:52:07,280
Everything's gonna change. No change. You know,

1442
00:52:09,034 --> 00:52:11,434
change isn't permanent, but change is. I knew

1443
00:52:11,434 --> 00:52:13,114
you were gonna quote that song lyric. I

1444
00:52:13,114 --> 00:52:15,694
don't know what song anymore. Yep. Yep. Rush.

1445
00:52:16,234 --> 00:52:18,634
Rush song. I should have known Rush. See?

1446
00:52:18,634 --> 00:52:19,694
I should have known.

1447
00:52:19,994 --> 00:52:21,214
I didn't trust myself.

1448
00:52:21,755 --> 00:52:24,280
Yeah. But, you know and and that's what

1449
00:52:24,900 --> 00:52:27,380
that's what you're fighting against most times to

1450
00:52:27,380 --> 00:52:30,039
to break out of those. Yeah. Because comfortable

1451
00:52:30,179 --> 00:52:32,659
can feel really fucking good. Yeah. And changes

1452
00:52:32,659 --> 00:52:35,394
on comfortable is scary. Even when you want

1453
00:52:35,394 --> 00:52:37,795
the change, there can be a discomfort. Now

1454
00:52:37,795 --> 00:52:38,534
some of y'all,

1455
00:52:38,994 --> 00:52:41,394
you are chaos goblins, and you're like, everything

1456
00:52:41,394 --> 00:52:43,154
has to change all the time. I'm not

1457
00:52:43,154 --> 00:52:43,654
uncomfortable,

1458
00:52:43,954 --> 00:52:46,114
and I am so happy for you. Couldn't

1459
00:52:46,114 --> 00:52:46,775
be me.

1460
00:52:47,234 --> 00:52:49,930
Even when I'm like, no. I definitely wanna

1461
00:52:49,930 --> 00:52:52,010
change this thing. I wanna go in a

1462
00:52:52,010 --> 00:52:54,250
different direction. I wanna try something new. And

1463
00:52:54,250 --> 00:52:55,610
we are on board with it. We're like,

1464
00:52:55,610 --> 00:52:56,829
yes. Yes. Yes. I

1465
00:52:57,369 --> 00:52:58,190
will procrastinate

1466
00:52:58,489 --> 00:53:00,989
on making the change because of the discomfort.

1467
00:53:01,925 --> 00:53:03,925
I wanna point out one more thing Okay.

1468
00:53:04,005 --> 00:53:06,905
That is, to me, an example of our,

1469
00:53:08,244 --> 00:53:10,905
experience with old relationship energy. Ruh roh.

1470
00:53:11,445 --> 00:53:14,405
And I'm gonna reference the live chat where

1471
00:53:14,405 --> 00:53:17,039
Silent was talking about what, you know, was

1472
00:53:17,039 --> 00:53:18,900
referencing, like, facial expressions

1473
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,960
and napping stuff. I think I know where

1474
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:22,019
this is going.

1475
00:53:22,640 --> 00:53:25,280
Silent said, that's when I get a quote,

1476
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,119
you roll your eyes, but you know I'm

1477
00:53:27,119 --> 00:53:27,619
right.

1478
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,599
Well, first of all, I have said that

1479
00:53:29,599 --> 00:53:31,125
many times. I have heard that a few

1480
00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:32,905
times. But here's the one

1481
00:53:33,364 --> 00:53:33,864
that

1482
00:53:34,405 --> 00:53:36,804
both frustrates the fuck out of me and

1483
00:53:36,804 --> 00:53:39,125
cracks me out. In the moment, I'll be

1484
00:53:39,125 --> 00:53:39,864
so frustrated.

1485
00:53:40,324 --> 00:53:42,005
Right now, I can laugh about it. This

1486
00:53:42,005 --> 00:53:44,344
is this is us, old relationship energy.

1487
00:53:46,210 --> 00:53:46,710
So,

1488
00:53:48,289 --> 00:53:50,210
it's a joke between the 2 of us

1489
00:53:50,210 --> 00:53:52,130
that I think I'm always right. I, I

1490
00:53:52,130 --> 00:53:54,769
tend to be, to be proven right. My

1491
00:53:54,769 --> 00:53:56,309
way is not the only way,

1492
00:53:57,114 --> 00:53:58,735
but my way does work. Right? So

1493
00:54:00,795 --> 00:54:01,695
there are times

1494
00:54:02,715 --> 00:54:03,934
JB will get

1495
00:54:04,555 --> 00:54:07,275
really frustrated at me to the point of,

1496
00:54:07,275 --> 00:54:08,015
like, seeming

1497
00:54:08,315 --> 00:54:09,775
angry slash annoyed

1498
00:54:11,049 --> 00:54:11,549
because

1499
00:54:12,409 --> 00:54:13,630
I disagreed,

1500
00:54:14,010 --> 00:54:15,769
because I said, I don't think that's the

1501
00:54:15,769 --> 00:54:17,690
right way, because he wants to do a

1502
00:54:17,690 --> 00:54:19,609
thing. And I'm like, may maybe that's not

1503
00:54:19,609 --> 00:54:21,929
the best. Like, I'm submissive, but I'm not

1504
00:54:21,929 --> 00:54:24,515
stupid. Okay? And I'm not I'm not a

1505
00:54:24,515 --> 00:54:26,914
a doormat. Like, I got opinions and I

1506
00:54:26,914 --> 00:54:28,055
don't think that'll work.

1507
00:54:29,075 --> 00:54:31,875
When I'm right about something that he didn't

1508
00:54:31,875 --> 00:54:33,315
like me being right about, he wanted to

1509
00:54:33,315 --> 00:54:35,075
be right and he was not right that

1510
00:54:35,075 --> 00:54:35,575
time.

1511
00:54:36,114 --> 00:54:38,889
He will admit I'm right in such

1512
00:54:39,190 --> 00:54:41,929
a cranky fucking tone. And I'm like, look.

1513
00:54:42,069 --> 00:54:45,029
You are only cranky because you know I'm

1514
00:54:45,029 --> 00:54:45,529
right.

1515
00:54:47,509 --> 00:54:50,069
You are only upset about this because you

1516
00:54:50,069 --> 00:54:52,315
know I said, here's how I know I'm

1517
00:54:52,315 --> 00:54:53,135
I'm right.

1518
00:54:53,755 --> 00:54:55,755
You're mad that you have to agree with

1519
00:54:55,755 --> 00:54:56,255
me.

1520
00:54:58,474 --> 00:55:00,789
That was not part of the new relationship

1521
00:55:00,789 --> 00:55:02,105
energy packet and intro.

1522
00:55:06,989 --> 00:55:08,929
Nope. I didn't get that at orientation.

1523
00:55:09,869 --> 00:55:13,250
This is an old relationship energy thing of

1524
00:55:14,030 --> 00:55:16,190
why are you pissed at me just because

1525
00:55:16,190 --> 00:55:17,545
I was right.

1526
00:55:18,885 --> 00:55:21,204
You didn't read the fine print. I'll he'll

1527
00:55:21,204 --> 00:55:23,684
I'll say something. He'll say something, or he'll

1528
00:55:23,684 --> 00:55:25,704
do something, and I'll go, wait. No.

1529
00:55:26,724 --> 00:55:28,184
You that's not

1530
00:55:28,485 --> 00:55:30,244
no. I don't think that's what you meant.

1531
00:55:30,244 --> 00:55:32,130
And he'll get so busy. And I'm like,

1532
00:55:32,210 --> 00:55:34,210
you're just mad because I'm right. You're just

1533
00:55:34,210 --> 00:55:36,289
mad because I'm right. You're just mad because

1534
00:55:36,289 --> 00:55:36,949
I'm right.

1535
00:55:37,809 --> 00:55:39,989
It is very frustrating in the moment.

1536
00:55:40,529 --> 00:55:42,289
I think for both of us, because you

1537
00:55:42,289 --> 00:55:45,014
are genuinely annoyed. And then I am like,

1538
00:55:45,174 --> 00:55:46,875
but why are you mad at me?

1539
00:55:47,654 --> 00:55:49,674
I didn't actually do anything

1540
00:55:50,694 --> 00:55:53,355
except point out that that you're wrong.

1541
00:55:54,375 --> 00:55:55,194
But now

1542
00:55:55,574 --> 00:55:56,714
outside of it,

1543
00:55:57,174 --> 00:55:59,434
you're laughing in a different way than I'm

1544
00:56:06,150 --> 00:56:06,650
laughing.

1545
00:56:10,230 --> 00:56:12,389
So yeah. There's a lot to old relationship

1546
00:56:12,389 --> 00:56:13,849
energy. It's I think it's

1547
00:56:14,150 --> 00:56:15,049
highly nuanced,

1548
00:56:15,509 --> 00:56:16,009
because

1549
00:56:16,844 --> 00:56:19,405
you like, I would not think of something

1550
00:56:19,405 --> 00:56:19,905
as

1551
00:56:20,364 --> 00:56:21,804
we do this because we've been together for

1552
00:56:21,804 --> 00:56:24,684
forever until Mhmm. Like, you know, it hits

1553
00:56:24,684 --> 00:56:25,965
you in the face. You're like, oh, yeah.

1554
00:56:25,965 --> 00:56:26,525
I probably

1555
00:56:27,724 --> 00:56:29,565
and a long term relationship, you've got so

1556
00:56:29,565 --> 00:56:32,079
many moments that you've together, so many experiences

1557
00:56:32,079 --> 00:56:34,239
you've had together. You cannot possibly think of

1558
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,960
all of them to go, oh, yeah. That's

1559
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:38,179
how this fits in.

1560
00:56:39,599 --> 00:56:41,519
And we all react and respond to things

1561
00:56:41,519 --> 00:56:45,174
differently. So Yeah. Your experience of it will

1562
00:56:45,174 --> 00:56:47,574
be vastly different than ours. But I I

1563
00:56:47,574 --> 00:56:48,394
do think,

1564
00:56:50,135 --> 00:56:52,295
the kind of the highlights we hit are

1565
00:56:52,295 --> 00:56:54,855
probably fairly common. I think most people can

1566
00:56:54,855 --> 00:56:57,815
go, I've had some experience with some version

1567
00:56:57,815 --> 00:56:58,954
of that. Mhmm.

1568
00:57:00,199 --> 00:57:00,699
Yep.

1569
00:57:01,799 --> 00:57:02,619
And, you know,

1570
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:05,559
like you said earlier, complacency, stagnancy, rest, they're

1571
00:57:05,559 --> 00:57:07,880
not forever. You're not doomed to be in

1572
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:09,659
that forever. It just takes

1573
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:12,780
effort. Like Yeah. Sometimes real strong effort

1574
00:57:13,155 --> 00:57:14,768
to get yourself out of it. Out of

1575
00:57:14,768 --> 00:57:16,675
it. Yep. The times that we've done the

1576
00:57:16,675 --> 00:57:18,195
best are when we both kinda looked at

1577
00:57:18,195 --> 00:57:19,175
one another and went,

1578
00:57:19,635 --> 00:57:20,295
oh, no.

1579
00:57:21,155 --> 00:57:22,755
Together, we're like, no. No. No. I don't

1580
00:57:22,755 --> 00:57:25,074
like this. Mhmm. This ain't right. This don't

1581
00:57:25,074 --> 00:57:27,469
feel right. Yeah. We have, I think,

1582
00:57:27,849 --> 00:57:29,869
an advantage because we literally

1583
00:57:30,409 --> 00:57:32,329
talk about and think about the state of

1584
00:57:32,329 --> 00:57:33,389
our own relationship

1585
00:57:34,889 --> 00:57:36,989
every day Mhmm. For a living.

1586
00:57:37,369 --> 00:57:38,010
Most people

1587
00:57:39,369 --> 00:57:41,530
how can I keep my power exchange going

1588
00:57:41,530 --> 00:57:41,985
strong?

1589
00:57:42,625 --> 00:57:44,785
Run a podcast together for 9 years. I

1590
00:57:44,785 --> 00:57:46,704
don't know. I need to talk about it

1591
00:57:46,704 --> 00:57:48,864
for a living because it's it's just top

1592
00:57:48,864 --> 00:57:50,244
of mind for us because

1593
00:57:50,785 --> 00:57:52,965
to me, everything is potentially content.

1594
00:57:53,265 --> 00:57:55,364
So when something's going on, I'm like,

1595
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:57,920
I'm dissecting it. Why did we do that,

1596
00:57:57,920 --> 00:57:59,039
and how did we do that, and what

1597
00:57:59,039 --> 00:57:59,859
does that mean?

1598
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:01,940
So, you know,

1599
00:58:02,559 --> 00:58:05,039
we have not, like, figured out some super

1600
00:58:05,039 --> 00:58:07,119
secret thing to just be aware of these

1601
00:58:07,119 --> 00:58:09,280
things. We just live it, breathe it, eat

1602
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:09,920
it, sleep it

1603
00:58:10,894 --> 00:58:12,994
Yeah. Work it every

1604
00:58:13,454 --> 00:58:13,954
moment.

1605
00:58:14,414 --> 00:58:17,474
Every day. I'm not sure I'd recommend that.

1606
00:58:17,614 --> 00:58:18,114
No.

1607
00:58:18,574 --> 00:58:20,094
I think we might be a little too

1608
00:58:20,094 --> 00:58:21,954
intense about power exchange.

1609
00:58:24,255 --> 00:58:25,530
So yeah. Yeah.

1610
00:58:26,150 --> 00:58:26,650
So

1611
00:58:26,950 --> 00:58:29,610
that's that on old relationship energy.

1612
00:58:29,910 --> 00:58:31,670
Thanks to the person who sent the question

1613
00:58:31,670 --> 00:58:33,530
in and referenced it. If anybody

1614
00:58:33,829 --> 00:58:35,990
else, like, has ever talked about it in

1615
00:58:35,990 --> 00:58:37,289
those kinds of terms

1616
00:58:37,590 --> 00:58:38,570
on any other

1617
00:58:39,190 --> 00:58:40,490
YouTube channel podcast,

1618
00:58:40,994 --> 00:58:42,214
but feel free to, like,

1619
00:58:42,914 --> 00:58:45,174
you know, shoot us a link because

1620
00:58:45,875 --> 00:58:46,375
I'd

1621
00:58:46,755 --> 00:58:48,054
this is not an original

1622
00:58:48,355 --> 00:58:50,835
thought. Like, we didn't magically come up with

1623
00:58:50,835 --> 00:58:51,714
something, but I

1624
00:58:53,070 --> 00:58:54,910
you know, a lot of information out there

1625
00:58:54,910 --> 00:58:56,210
about King and Power Exchange

1626
00:58:56,510 --> 00:58:57,869
tends to be helping you get through the

1627
00:58:57,869 --> 00:59:00,510
hardest part. Finding the partner and and having

1628
00:59:00,510 --> 00:59:02,349
them be a decent enough partner, you wanna

1629
00:59:02,349 --> 00:59:03,869
be with them long term and whatever that

1630
00:59:03,869 --> 00:59:04,769
means for you.

1631
00:59:05,390 --> 00:59:06,945
But there is that other side to it.

1632
00:59:06,945 --> 00:59:08,785
You know? And and the thing is too,

1633
00:59:08,785 --> 00:59:10,864
being in a DS relationship doesn't make you

1634
00:59:10,864 --> 00:59:11,364
exempt

1635
00:59:11,744 --> 00:59:12,805
from any of this.

1636
00:59:13,265 --> 00:59:13,765
No.

1637
00:59:15,985 --> 00:59:16,485
No.

1638
00:59:19,199 --> 00:59:20,739
Quite frankly, I would

1639
00:59:22,000 --> 00:59:24,440
any flavor of any relationship can have

1640
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:26,480
go experience the good and the bad of

1641
00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,039
old relationship energy. Mhmm. I think power exchange

1642
00:59:29,039 --> 00:59:31,699
is uniquely placed to be aware,

1643
00:59:32,605 --> 00:59:34,605
probably a little faster than a non kink

1644
00:59:34,605 --> 00:59:37,164
relationship. Yeah. Because, yes, our routines and our

1645
00:59:37,164 --> 00:59:38,625
tasks and our our dynamic

1646
00:59:39,085 --> 00:59:41,025
matter to us, and it's easy to get

1647
00:59:41,085 --> 00:59:43,005
stuck in a routine with that. But because

1648
00:59:43,005 --> 00:59:45,449
life is gonna life and fuck up your,

1649
00:59:45,530 --> 00:59:47,369
you know, how you get to interact with

1650
00:59:47,369 --> 00:59:48,109
your dynamic

1651
00:59:48,489 --> 00:59:49,710
more often than not,

1652
00:59:50,089 --> 00:59:51,690
I would imagine for most of us, we're

1653
00:59:51,690 --> 00:59:54,089
gonna be like, hey. I'm I miss doing

1654
00:59:54,089 --> 00:59:55,929
the thing I used to do in our

1655
00:59:55,929 --> 00:59:58,010
power exchange. We're probably gonna get that a

1656
00:59:58,010 --> 00:59:58,989
little bit faster

1657
00:59:59,289 --> 01:00:01,364
than a relationship that doesn't have that kind

1658
01:00:01,525 --> 01:00:03,284
structure to fall back on, that they're that

1659
01:00:03,284 --> 01:00:05,684
you're looking forward to that structure and you're

1660
01:00:05,684 --> 01:00:06,744
missing that structure.

1661
01:00:07,125 --> 01:00:09,784
But that is genuinely just a guess because

1662
01:00:10,005 --> 01:00:10,985
I don't know.

1663
01:00:12,885 --> 01:00:14,505
So yeah. K.

1664
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,719
I guess that's it. Mhmm. We'll do a

1665
01:00:17,719 --> 01:00:19,099
bonus section. Yep.

1666
01:00:19,719 --> 01:00:20,780
Just a reminder,

1667
01:00:21,159 --> 01:00:21,659
1,

1668
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,679
we're celebrating our 4th anniversary at the kinkery,

1669
01:00:24,679 --> 01:00:25,179
thekinkery.com.

1670
01:00:26,199 --> 01:00:27,559
And we have a sale going on right

1671
01:00:27,559 --> 01:00:29,815
now through October 28th, which is also our

1672
01:00:29,815 --> 01:00:30,715
wedding anniversary.

1673
01:00:31,255 --> 01:00:33,414
Use code 4 years, f o u r

1674
01:00:33,414 --> 01:00:36,215
four years. Save 15% off, and we're doing

1675
01:00:36,215 --> 01:00:38,375
restocks through the weekend, y'all. Like Oh, yeah.

1676
01:00:38,375 --> 01:00:40,215
Normally, when we start a sale, we did

1677
01:00:40,215 --> 01:00:42,375
all the restocks. Not right now. They're gonna

1678
01:00:42,375 --> 01:00:43,940
keep going. And then,

1679
01:00:44,260 --> 01:00:46,019
if you are a person who wants to,

1680
01:00:46,019 --> 01:00:47,719
likes to, and tries to watch the livestream,

1681
01:00:47,779 --> 01:00:49,219
I don't know what the time will be,

1682
01:00:49,219 --> 01:00:51,859
but Wednesday, October 30th, it will be an

1683
01:00:51,859 --> 01:00:54,420
earlier time. Mhmm. Because we're gonna go be

1684
01:00:54,420 --> 01:00:55,880
supportive parents. Yep.

1685
01:00:56,179 --> 01:00:57,559
And celebrate a birthday.

1686
01:00:58,019 --> 01:00:59,775
Yeah. I gotta figure out what where we're

1687
01:00:59,775 --> 01:01:00,994
gonna go for that. Yep.

1688
01:01:01,375 --> 01:01:03,375
Anyway, so, yeah, we'll we'll be done with,

1689
01:01:03,375 --> 01:01:05,375
like, the, the official stuff, and we'll get

1690
01:01:05,375 --> 01:01:07,614
into the bonus section. K. Okay. So are

1691
01:01:07,614 --> 01:01:08,914
we good? I don't know.

1692
01:01:10,255 --> 01:01:12,255
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1693
01:01:12,255 --> 01:01:12,994
next week.

1694
01:01:24,109 --> 01:01:24,609
Yes?

1695
01:01:24,909 --> 01:01:26,829
I told you I was gonna forget how

1696
01:01:26,829 --> 01:01:27,329
words

1697
01:01:28,094 --> 01:01:30,494
went. Really? Especially words I say all the

1698
01:01:30,494 --> 01:01:32,574
time. I almost forgot how to say keep

1699
01:01:32,574 --> 01:01:33,554
it kinky, y'all.

1700
01:01:33,934 --> 01:01:35,474
What? It is literally,

1701
01:01:35,855 --> 01:01:38,335
like, plastered all over our Etsy shop too.

1702
01:01:38,335 --> 01:01:39,855
Like, you buy a sticker, you get a

1703
01:01:39,855 --> 01:01:41,155
thing that says keep it kinky.

1704
01:01:41,570 --> 01:01:43,650
I put your little receipt thing in your

1705
01:01:43,650 --> 01:01:45,989
envelope. It says keep it kinky. And I

1706
01:01:46,289 --> 01:01:47,829
almost could not say the words.

1707
01:01:48,289 --> 01:01:50,230
I I don't know. Wow.

1708
01:01:50,610 --> 01:01:52,710
I am not unhappy

1709
01:01:53,090 --> 01:01:55,090
at all with the amount of work we've

1710
01:01:55,090 --> 01:01:56,994
done in the past few days, but I

1711
01:01:56,994 --> 01:01:58,835
I think my brain is is trying to

1712
01:01:58,835 --> 01:02:01,155
shut down. I think it's, like, it's given

1713
01:02:01,155 --> 01:02:02,775
up. It's thrown in the towel.

1714
01:02:03,155 --> 01:02:05,554
Mhmm. It's like I can't. No more. No

1715
01:02:05,554 --> 01:02:06,054
more.

1716
01:02:07,394 --> 01:02:09,074
That's okay. This is our busy time of

1717
01:02:09,074 --> 01:02:10,594
year, and I love this time of year,

1718
01:02:10,594 --> 01:02:12,910
so I'm not mad. No. No.

1719
01:02:13,930 --> 01:02:15,230
Bonus section stuff.

1720
01:02:17,050 --> 01:02:19,450
We're gonna go see the oldest perform next

1721
01:02:19,450 --> 01:02:21,950
week. We saw the oldest perform last night,

1722
01:02:22,410 --> 01:02:22,910
Tuesday.

1723
01:02:23,289 --> 01:02:23,789
Yeah.

1724
01:02:24,090 --> 01:02:26,250
Which is why I've been yawning through everything

1725
01:02:26,250 --> 01:02:27,065
to to

1726
01:02:27,525 --> 01:02:29,045
it was a late night, but a good

1727
01:02:29,045 --> 01:02:30,964
night. It was. It was. And it was

1728
01:02:30,964 --> 01:02:32,405
it was a good performance. It was

1729
01:02:33,925 --> 01:02:35,525
so I was a band geek for many

1730
01:02:35,525 --> 01:02:37,605
years, and then I've been a band mom

1731
01:02:37,605 --> 01:02:39,844
for many years. So I don't remember everything

1732
01:02:39,844 --> 01:02:40,744
I used to

1733
01:02:41,519 --> 01:02:43,140
was taught about music. But

1734
01:02:44,079 --> 01:02:46,160
your ear knows. And I think even if

1735
01:02:46,160 --> 01:02:48,559
you didn't take music for literal years on

1736
01:02:48,559 --> 01:02:49,059
end,

1737
01:02:49,519 --> 01:02:51,300
your ear knows. So

1738
01:02:51,599 --> 01:02:53,840
the concert was mostly good. And even the

1739
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:55,140
things that made me go,

1740
01:02:55,715 --> 01:02:57,655
they weren't awful. It was just a

1741
01:02:58,195 --> 01:03:00,195
So the kid comes out. We take him

1742
01:03:00,195 --> 01:03:01,655
to get some some food.

1743
01:03:02,594 --> 01:03:04,434
And he goes, so what did you think

1744
01:03:04,434 --> 01:03:05,414
about the concert?

1745
01:03:05,795 --> 01:03:08,034
I was like, well, the last two pieces

1746
01:03:08,034 --> 01:03:08,934
were my favorite.

1747
01:03:09,570 --> 01:03:10,930
And he goes, okay. He goes, what did

1748
01:03:10,930 --> 01:03:12,530
you think about those first shows? I was

1749
01:03:12,530 --> 01:03:14,849
like, well, I wondered if y'all were having

1750
01:03:14,849 --> 01:03:16,530
a rough day. And he goes, we were

1751
01:03:16,530 --> 01:03:19,829
having a rough day. I said, okay. Okay.

1752
01:03:19,890 --> 01:03:20,950
I wasn't being

1753
01:03:21,329 --> 01:03:22,150
overly critical.

1754
01:03:22,610 --> 01:03:24,835
That really was rough. Okay. I was like,

1755
01:03:24,835 --> 01:03:26,434
you know what? We've now been to what?

1756
01:03:26,434 --> 01:03:28,675
6 or 7 concerts? Yeah. If they have

1757
01:03:28,675 --> 01:03:31,555
one rough night, it's fine. Mhmm. So Yeah.

1758
01:03:31,555 --> 01:03:32,055
Hey.

1759
01:03:33,555 --> 01:03:35,315
The living in state of Florida, speaking of

1760
01:03:35,315 --> 01:03:37,655
the kid, this does relate. I promise. So,

1761
01:03:38,114 --> 01:03:39,659
we live in the state of Florida. And

1762
01:03:39,659 --> 01:03:41,900
in our county, early voting started this past

1763
01:03:41,900 --> 01:03:44,219
Monday. Yes. But this is the 19 year

1764
01:03:44,219 --> 01:03:46,799
old's first election, and he is still,

1765
01:03:48,219 --> 01:03:50,299
the way it works, he was still in

1766
01:03:50,299 --> 01:03:53,260
our area to for voting. Right? Mhmm. He's

1767
01:03:53,260 --> 01:03:55,155
registered, but he needs to vote here.

1768
01:03:56,114 --> 01:03:56,614
So

1769
01:03:57,315 --> 01:03:59,394
we're like, okay. We have early voting over

1770
01:03:59,394 --> 01:04:00,054
the weekends.

1771
01:04:01,715 --> 01:04:04,135
We're not gonna go you know, he wants

1772
01:04:04,434 --> 01:04:05,875
he doesn't wanna go by himself for the

1773
01:04:05,875 --> 01:04:07,715
first time. We want to go with him

1774
01:04:07,715 --> 01:04:09,554
for his first time. That's, like, super cool

1775
01:04:09,554 --> 01:04:11,800
to me. So we're like, okay. So we'd

1776
01:04:11,800 --> 01:04:13,719
like to go early voting this week. We

1777
01:04:13,719 --> 01:04:15,960
would have done it on Monday. Oh, yeah.

1778
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:17,880
They were waiting on him. Yeah. I was

1779
01:04:17,880 --> 01:04:20,039
like, so so can can you squeeze us

1780
01:04:20,039 --> 01:04:22,440
in on over the weekend? We'll come get

1781
01:04:22,440 --> 01:04:24,199
you, you know, do this thing, do whatever

1782
01:04:24,199 --> 01:04:25,744
else you need to do, whatever. He goes,

1783
01:04:25,744 --> 01:04:28,144
no. I plan on being drunk this weekend.

1784
01:04:28,144 --> 01:04:29,985
I was like, I don't think you're supposed

1785
01:04:29,985 --> 01:04:32,465
to tell your mother that. He's like, there's

1786
01:04:32,465 --> 01:04:35,265
multiple parties this weekend. I plan on going

1787
01:04:35,265 --> 01:04:37,125
to them all. I was like, well,

1788
01:04:37,425 --> 01:04:38,724
if you're not hungover,

1789
01:04:39,265 --> 01:04:41,590
call me, and I'll come get you.

1790
01:04:42,050 --> 01:04:42,789
I just

1791
01:04:43,409 --> 01:04:45,730
want to vote and be done with it,

1792
01:04:45,730 --> 01:04:47,250
and I don't want us to get to

1793
01:04:47,250 --> 01:04:48,849
election day and then be stuck in lines.

1794
01:04:48,849 --> 01:04:51,170
Like, I just don't want that. No. So

1795
01:04:51,250 --> 01:04:52,389
yeah. Yeah.

1796
01:04:52,849 --> 01:04:54,934
I might be getting to exercise my right

1797
01:04:54,934 --> 01:04:56,875
to vote this weekend. I might not.

1798
01:04:59,094 --> 01:05:00,474
What else is going on?

1799
01:05:02,135 --> 01:05:03,815
Not much. It's been working working.

1800
01:05:04,215 --> 01:05:05,335
You know You got to go to the

1801
01:05:05,335 --> 01:05:07,094
sawmill. I did. I got to go to

1802
01:05:07,094 --> 01:05:09,150
the sawmill, which which was always

1803
01:05:10,090 --> 01:05:11,230
a pleasant time,

1804
01:05:12,329 --> 01:05:14,489
and, came back with some good stuff that's

1805
01:05:14,489 --> 01:05:15,469
been obviously

1806
01:05:16,170 --> 01:05:16,670
restocking

1807
01:05:17,210 --> 01:05:17,710
restocking.

1808
01:05:18,250 --> 01:05:20,650
Restock. You we would have restocked more, but

1809
01:05:20,650 --> 01:05:23,344
you're waiting on a very important blade to

1810
01:05:23,344 --> 01:05:24,405
arrive. Yes.

1811
01:05:25,425 --> 01:05:27,905
Yeah. My my my band saw I have

1812
01:05:27,905 --> 01:05:30,085
been spoiled. There has been a

1813
01:05:30,385 --> 01:05:32,244
a a band saw maker

1814
01:05:33,900 --> 01:05:35,260
here in Here in town.

1815
01:05:35,780 --> 01:05:37,659
Here in town, and,

1816
01:05:38,539 --> 01:05:39,980
for as long as we've been living here,

1817
01:05:39,980 --> 01:05:41,900
I've been very spoiled. I just, you know,

1818
01:05:41,900 --> 01:05:43,900
give him a call and then the next

1819
01:05:43,900 --> 01:05:45,980
day I go And sometimes not even like

1820
01:05:45,980 --> 01:05:47,980
that afternoon. That afternoon I can go pick

1821
01:05:47,980 --> 01:05:48,480
up.

1822
01:05:52,105 --> 01:05:53,405
He does not have inventory

1823
01:05:54,425 --> 01:05:55,405
Mm-mm. Anymore.

1824
01:05:57,065 --> 01:05:58,684
Could not get him to,

1825
01:05:59,945 --> 01:06:01,704
you know, when is this gonna

1826
01:06:02,530 --> 01:06:03,809
he he would not give me,

1827
01:06:04,369 --> 01:06:05,190
any answers.

1828
01:06:05,570 --> 01:06:06,070
Mhmm.

1829
01:06:06,369 --> 01:06:08,630
So I had to go searching online

1830
01:06:09,410 --> 01:06:10,550
and, found

1831
01:06:10,849 --> 01:06:13,090
a place, you know, compatible, but now I

1832
01:06:13,090 --> 01:06:15,329
have to, you know, order and wait on

1833
01:06:15,329 --> 01:06:16,684
the shipping. Mhmm.

1834
01:06:17,385 --> 01:06:17,885
And

1835
01:06:18,265 --> 01:06:20,265
we're gonna get in the weeds of wood

1836
01:06:20,265 --> 01:06:22,265
stuff that I don't fully understand, so JB

1837
01:06:22,265 --> 01:06:23,485
will correct me. So

1838
01:06:24,344 --> 01:06:24,844
what

1839
01:06:25,224 --> 01:06:26,985
one of the methods we do to get

1840
01:06:26,985 --> 01:06:28,765
wood ready to become a paddle

1841
01:06:29,144 --> 01:06:31,065
is is that the planer that makes it

1842
01:06:31,065 --> 01:06:31,565
thinner?

1843
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:34,000
Is that the is it the jointer or

1844
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,480
the planer that makes it thinner? Well, the

1845
01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:39,039
jointer makes one side level. Right. I know.

1846
01:06:39,039 --> 01:06:40,559
And then The one that makes it thinner.

1847
01:06:40,559 --> 01:06:42,639
And then the one that will take it

1848
01:06:42,639 --> 01:06:44,659
down, yes, is the planer. It's the planer.

1849
01:06:44,719 --> 01:06:45,554
Mhmm. And

1850
01:06:46,355 --> 01:06:47,875
all of our wood goes through that at

1851
01:06:47,875 --> 01:06:48,855
least a little bit.

1852
01:06:49,155 --> 01:06:51,234
But when it's real thick and and JB

1853
01:06:51,234 --> 01:06:53,394
is like, I can get multiple things out

1854
01:06:53,394 --> 01:06:55,155
of this. Right. You don't send it through

1855
01:06:55,155 --> 01:06:57,074
the planer, you lose it's waste. You lose

1856
01:06:57,074 --> 01:06:59,335
way too much wood. So he's got these

1857
01:06:59,909 --> 01:07:02,389
thick pieces of wood. And at first, we

1858
01:07:02,389 --> 01:07:03,909
were like, okay. Just to get some inventory

1859
01:07:03,909 --> 01:07:05,190
and just to do a restock, we'll go

1860
01:07:05,190 --> 01:07:07,030
ahead and do it, and we'll we'll do

1861
01:07:07,030 --> 01:07:08,549
the planer and not use the band saw

1862
01:07:08,549 --> 01:07:09,989
to cut it in half, whatever. Mhmm. And

1863
01:07:09,989 --> 01:07:11,589
then we're both we're standing there in the

1864
01:07:11,589 --> 01:07:13,829
garage. We're covered head to toe in fucking

1865
01:07:13,829 --> 01:07:14,324
dust.

1866
01:07:14,885 --> 01:07:16,644
We're looking at this wood, and I'm going,

1867
01:07:16,644 --> 01:07:18,565
that's so thick. And he goes, that is

1868
01:07:18,565 --> 01:07:19,385
so thick.

1869
01:07:19,684 --> 01:07:21,784
I was like, you could get 2 paddles.

1870
01:07:22,005 --> 01:07:24,244
Like, not just side by side, but, like,

1871
01:07:24,244 --> 01:07:26,085
so instead of 2, could get 4. I'm

1872
01:07:26,085 --> 01:07:28,699
like Mhmm. I said, I I can't do

1873
01:07:28,699 --> 01:07:30,559
it. He goes, I can't do it either.

1874
01:07:30,859 --> 01:07:32,059
I was like, well, I guess we have

1875
01:07:32,059 --> 01:07:34,000
to wait for your blade to get here.

1876
01:07:34,299 --> 01:07:36,059
It was so sad. We were like, we're

1877
01:07:36,059 --> 01:07:39,739
making paddles, man. Yeah. No. We just got

1878
01:07:39,739 --> 01:07:42,780
some thick wood. I think everybody who likes

1879
01:07:42,780 --> 01:07:44,375
wood should get to have thick wood.

1880
01:07:44,755 --> 01:07:46,594
If you don't like wood, then who cares?

1881
01:07:46,594 --> 01:07:48,675
You don't but for those for those of

1882
01:07:48,675 --> 01:07:50,355
us who appreciate wood

1883
01:07:50,675 --> 01:07:53,574
Yeah. My my personal preference is thick wood.

1884
01:07:55,554 --> 01:07:57,715
So DSPenny asked, what do we do with

1885
01:07:57,715 --> 01:07:58,454
scrap pieces?

1886
01:08:00,179 --> 01:08:00,679
Thankfully,

1887
01:08:01,219 --> 01:08:01,960
the way I

1888
01:08:02,820 --> 01:08:04,820
I have things work, I have very few

1889
01:08:04,820 --> 01:08:05,719
scrap pieces.

1890
01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:10,820
And the little bits that do tend to

1891
01:08:10,820 --> 01:08:12,920
end up in in the scrap bin,

1892
01:08:14,264 --> 01:08:16,444
they will go into the fire pit.

1893
01:08:17,944 --> 01:08:19,545
At some point. Yeah, anything that can get

1894
01:08:19,545 --> 01:08:21,784
multiple uses out of it does, but then

1895
01:08:21,784 --> 01:08:23,465
there comes a point when something's just too

1896
01:08:23,465 --> 01:08:26,045
small, or too weird shaped, or too something.

1897
01:08:26,344 --> 01:08:26,844
Yeah.

1898
01:08:27,465 --> 01:08:30,000
But, yeah, no, I I do my best,

1899
01:08:32,399 --> 01:08:35,760
to utilize everything I can. Yeah. Yeah. For

1900
01:08:35,760 --> 01:08:38,260
sure. Yep. My favorite is

1901
01:08:38,560 --> 01:08:40,319
so we are both like this. So this

1902
01:08:40,319 --> 01:08:42,000
is not an this is not shade to

1903
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,420
JB. I'm like this in with different things.

1904
01:08:44,795 --> 01:08:48,314
JB has wood fucking everywhere, y'all. There's wood

1905
01:08:48,314 --> 01:08:50,395
in the garage. There's wood in the shop

1906
01:08:50,395 --> 01:08:52,574
outside. There's wood here in the office.

1907
01:08:53,354 --> 01:08:53,854
And

1908
01:08:54,395 --> 01:08:56,474
I've been having to, like, we've been able

1909
01:08:56,474 --> 01:08:58,550
to squish and make room because when we

1910
01:08:58,550 --> 01:09:00,710
do restocks, there's just shit everywhere until we

1911
01:09:00,710 --> 01:09:02,729
can put it away where it goes.

1912
01:09:03,430 --> 01:09:05,029
And so I'm having to make room on

1913
01:09:05,029 --> 01:09:06,090
the top of a credenza,

1914
01:09:07,109 --> 01:09:08,250
and I looked down.

1915
01:09:08,710 --> 01:09:10,125
And we had wanted to make,

1916
01:09:10,604 --> 01:09:13,185
pounders, which is one of our paddles. Mhmm.

1917
01:09:13,564 --> 01:09:15,984
And they're fairly popular, and they're an affordable

1918
01:09:16,125 --> 01:09:18,225
basic paddle. They're a great basic paddle, but

1919
01:09:18,604 --> 01:09:20,385
it's a very specific, like,

1920
01:09:21,164 --> 01:09:22,604
way they get made in. So they don't

1921
01:09:22,604 --> 01:09:25,085
get made as quickly as other things get

1922
01:09:25,085 --> 01:09:25,585
made.

1923
01:09:26,300 --> 01:09:28,060
And I'm moving things around on the credenza.

1924
01:09:28,060 --> 01:09:29,820
And I looked down and there are 3

1925
01:09:29,820 --> 01:09:31,440
pieces of wood labeled

1926
01:09:32,060 --> 01:09:32,560
powder,

1927
01:09:33,260 --> 01:09:35,739
which that tells me knowing JB system that

1928
01:09:35,739 --> 01:09:38,220
these should book were supposed to become pounders.

1929
01:09:38,220 --> 01:09:38,805
And I know

1930
01:09:39,525 --> 01:09:40,324
for a fact that no new wood has

1931
01:09:40,324 --> 01:09:42,744
been laid on this credenza for, like, literal

1932
01:09:42,805 --> 01:09:44,725
months. It's been a hot minute. Yeah. So

1933
01:09:44,725 --> 01:09:46,485
I pulled them off because I'm like, he

1934
01:09:46,564 --> 01:09:48,725
clearly, he's forgotten. He does not know they're

1935
01:09:48,725 --> 01:09:50,485
here, or he thought they were gonna be

1936
01:09:50,485 --> 01:09:51,925
pounders and he's changed his mind. So I

1937
01:09:51,925 --> 01:09:53,125
pulled them out and I put it on

1938
01:09:53,125 --> 01:09:53,784
his desk.

1939
01:09:54,420 --> 01:09:56,360
And when he comes in, I'm like,

1940
01:09:56,900 --> 01:09:59,400
did you see that? And he goes, yeah.

1941
01:10:00,020 --> 01:10:02,500
I forgot about it. And that's the sheer

1942
01:10:02,500 --> 01:10:04,020
amount of wood this man has, and it

1943
01:10:04,100 --> 01:10:05,460
it's everywhere it needs to be. It's not

1944
01:10:05,460 --> 01:10:07,320
like it's sitting on our kitchen table. Actually,

1945
01:10:08,114 --> 01:10:09,715
plans for a wood thing are sitting on

1946
01:10:09,715 --> 01:10:10,935
our kitchen table. Yes.

1947
01:10:12,595 --> 01:10:14,194
But there is he's got it in all

1948
01:10:14,194 --> 01:10:15,494
these nooks and crannies.

1949
01:10:17,074 --> 01:10:20,194
So you just might look down sometimes and

1950
01:10:20,194 --> 01:10:22,375
find some wood he can make something with.

1951
01:10:22,914 --> 01:10:23,654
So funny.

1952
01:10:28,090 --> 01:10:30,170
But you walked away, and I don't know

1953
01:10:30,170 --> 01:10:30,489
what

1954
01:10:31,050 --> 01:10:33,550
I'm I'm looking for something. I well, clearly,

1955
01:10:34,250 --> 01:10:36,170
I don't know what to talk about without

1956
01:10:36,170 --> 01:10:37,404
him. Oh my

1957
01:10:37,904 --> 01:10:38,404
gosh.

1958
01:10:38,904 --> 01:10:40,344
I do. I lose my train of thought.

1959
01:10:40,344 --> 01:10:42,125
You are my emotional support

1960
01:10:42,664 --> 01:10:43,805
partner. Okay?

1961
01:10:44,344 --> 01:10:46,024
I can do anything if you're next to

1962
01:10:46,024 --> 01:10:46,524
me.

1963
01:10:46,984 --> 01:10:48,604
The moment you walk away though.

1964
01:10:49,145 --> 01:10:49,645
Nope.

1965
01:10:52,159 --> 01:10:54,640
We did restock one paddle that is called

1966
01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:56,179
the Ass Beater Junior,

1967
01:10:56,640 --> 01:10:58,319
because it is the smaller version of the

1968
01:10:58,319 --> 01:11:00,239
one we call the Ass Beater. We did

1969
01:11:00,239 --> 01:11:02,079
learn today that I refer to it as

1970
01:11:02,079 --> 01:11:04,244
the Ass Beater. That's the 18 inch one.

1971
01:11:04,244 --> 01:11:06,804
And Ass Beater junior, which is the 12

1972
01:11:06,804 --> 01:11:09,844
inch paddle. JB thinks of them as Ass

1973
01:11:09,844 --> 01:11:12,404
Beater senior and junior, and that was a

1974
01:11:12,404 --> 01:11:15,604
communication mix up. I templated the new Ass

1975
01:11:15,604 --> 01:11:16,425
Beater junior

1976
01:11:16,804 --> 01:11:19,140
in black walnut, and I templated it

1977
01:11:19,680 --> 01:11:22,079
incorrectly. And so it does not look like

1978
01:11:22,079 --> 01:11:22,739
the others.

1979
01:11:23,840 --> 01:11:24,500
They are.

1980
01:11:25,039 --> 01:11:27,359
They will work really, really well. They they

1981
01:11:27,359 --> 01:11:29,039
still do what they're supposed to do. They

1982
01:11:29,039 --> 01:11:32,180
just look slightly different. That was my project.

1983
01:11:32,319 --> 01:11:33,279
Yeah. But,

1984
01:11:33,854 --> 01:11:35,074
you know, talking about

1985
01:11:35,454 --> 01:11:37,295
about scraps, some of the scraps that, you

1986
01:11:37,295 --> 01:11:38,835
know, are too little for

1987
01:11:39,534 --> 01:11:42,255
for, paddles, you know, I'll I'll glue them

1988
01:11:42,255 --> 01:11:42,994
up and

1989
01:11:43,454 --> 01:11:44,595
now I've got a bowl.

1990
01:11:44,975 --> 01:11:47,715
This this is, maple or not maple.

1991
01:11:50,340 --> 01:11:53,159
Cherry? No. Not cherry. Geez. Ash.

1992
01:11:53,539 --> 01:11:55,479
It didn't look like ash from here. Okay.

1993
01:11:55,539 --> 01:11:57,400
And, Black walnut. Black walnut.

1994
01:11:57,939 --> 01:12:00,090
So, you know, things things like this that

1995
01:12:00,090 --> 01:12:01,685
I Yeah. And

1996
01:12:02,864 --> 01:12:03,364
typical,

1997
01:12:03,905 --> 01:12:06,405
creative person. He's got projects

1998
01:12:06,864 --> 01:12:08,164
Everywhere. Everywhere.

1999
01:12:09,265 --> 01:12:09,765
Everywhere.

2000
01:12:12,064 --> 01:12:12,564
Everywhere.

2001
01:12:15,585 --> 01:12:16,800
Mhmm. Yeah. This

2002
01:12:17,760 --> 01:12:19,840
this is another thing I've started playing with

2003
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:21,279
too with some of the Make sure you

2004
01:12:21,279 --> 01:12:23,119
describe it because podcast listeners can't see it.

2005
01:12:23,119 --> 01:12:26,340
That's right. It's it's a, smartphone stand.

2006
01:12:26,960 --> 01:12:27,460
Mhmm.

2007
01:12:28,319 --> 01:12:30,420
Just, you know, to put and

2008
01:12:31,744 --> 01:12:33,264
this was the very first one I made,

2009
01:12:33,264 --> 01:12:35,685
so it's not made totally correctly.

2010
01:12:36,224 --> 01:12:37,585
But, you know, that pops out and you

2011
01:12:37,585 --> 01:12:39,024
can move it. Actually comes apart so you

2012
01:12:39,024 --> 01:12:41,824
can adjust Mhmm. Depth of the stand, whether

2013
01:12:41,824 --> 01:12:43,984
you're gonna have your phone stand up vertically

2014
01:12:43,984 --> 01:12:46,724
or sit horizontally. Right. You can do the

2015
01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:48,119
do it upright and

2016
01:12:48,920 --> 01:12:51,000
Mhmm. You know, playing with things like that.

2017
01:12:51,000 --> 01:12:53,179
And you've been cutting out little, like, decorative

2018
01:12:53,319 --> 01:12:53,819
shapes

2019
01:12:54,199 --> 01:12:56,600
on part of it. So Yeah. That one

2020
01:12:56,600 --> 01:12:58,679
you're holding up to the camera, it has

2021
01:12:58,920 --> 01:13:01,225
oh, god. We're it's so old timey. It's

2022
01:13:01,225 --> 01:13:03,385
in the shape of an old receiver for

2023
01:13:03,385 --> 01:13:05,945
a phone. Phone receiver. Yeah. But but then

2024
01:13:05,945 --> 01:13:06,664
it's got the,

2025
01:13:07,704 --> 01:13:08,364
the bars.

2026
01:13:08,744 --> 01:13:10,104
And then you have some that,

2027
01:13:10,664 --> 01:13:11,645
you've cut out

2028
01:13:12,185 --> 01:13:14,729
a certain kind of leaf. Yes. For it.

2029
01:13:14,729 --> 01:13:15,229
Mhmm.

2030
01:13:15,609 --> 01:13:17,770
Yep. I see. Let me get let me

2031
01:13:17,770 --> 01:13:20,329
get that other one. So He started making

2032
01:13:20,329 --> 01:13:21,550
phone stands. He made

2033
01:13:22,010 --> 01:13:23,849
so he had a pop thing on the

2034
01:13:23,849 --> 01:13:25,289
back of his phone that was a pain

2035
01:13:25,289 --> 01:13:27,389
in the ass. I had a little,

2036
01:13:28,064 --> 01:13:28,564
like,

2037
01:13:30,305 --> 01:13:31,585
so it looks a little bit like a

2038
01:13:31,585 --> 01:13:33,185
d ring, but, like, I could hold hold

2039
01:13:33,185 --> 01:13:34,465
my phone and put my finger through it

2040
01:13:34,465 --> 01:13:36,465
and and steady my phone, or it would

2041
01:13:36,465 --> 01:13:38,064
prop up my phone like a stand and

2042
01:13:38,064 --> 01:13:40,305
it went kaput. And we were both annoyed

2043
01:13:40,305 --> 01:13:41,590
that we could could not just prop our

2044
01:13:41,590 --> 01:13:43,270
phones up when we're watching videos or whatever.

2045
01:13:43,270 --> 01:13:45,350
Yeah. So he made a kind of a

2046
01:13:45,350 --> 01:13:47,670
rudimentary stand. It was beautiful. It was made

2047
01:13:47,670 --> 01:13:49,829
out of scrap wood. It did the job.

2048
01:13:49,829 --> 01:13:51,909
Well, then the youngest was like, oh, what's

2049
01:13:51,909 --> 01:13:54,090
that? Well, then he got 2nd generation,

2050
01:13:54,704 --> 01:13:55,364
same basic design,

2051
01:13:55,744 --> 01:13:57,045
but with a little, like,

2052
01:13:58,465 --> 01:14:01,425
extra support, whatever. And now we're on 3rd

2053
01:14:01,425 --> 01:14:04,145
generation where you are fancy. You are cutting

2054
01:14:04,145 --> 01:14:05,364
shit out. These are adjustable

2055
01:14:05,664 --> 01:14:06,404
phone stands.

2056
01:14:06,720 --> 01:14:09,460
They have designs cut into them. Like Yeah.

2057
01:14:10,079 --> 01:14:12,000
Yeah. This this is the the other one

2058
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:13,719
that I was playing with. Guitar. That's right.

2059
01:14:13,719 --> 01:14:14,979
I forgot about that. Guitar.

2060
01:14:15,760 --> 01:14:18,159
They they slide apart, so you can Which

2061
01:14:18,159 --> 01:14:19,680
once we get them added to your Etsy

2062
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:20,899
shop, that will make shipping

2063
01:14:21,524 --> 01:14:23,685
easier and Yep. It should arrive in 1

2064
01:14:23,685 --> 01:14:26,404
piece. You know, the this it's it sits

2065
01:14:26,564 --> 01:14:28,505
the phone sits in there,

2066
01:14:28,965 --> 01:14:31,284
and you've got a hole there for the

2067
01:14:31,364 --> 01:14:33,844
your charging cord to come through and and

2068
01:14:33,844 --> 01:14:34,590
up. Mhmm.

2069
01:14:35,149 --> 01:14:36,829
Yep. We keep 1 on the coffee station

2070
01:14:36,829 --> 01:14:38,909
in the kitchen Yeah. So that if we're

2071
01:14:38,909 --> 01:14:40,989
in the kitchen cooking or what doing dishes,

2072
01:14:40,989 --> 01:14:42,689
we can plug our phone in. And that

2073
01:14:42,989 --> 01:14:46,510
the the power strip that we're we've everything's

2074
01:14:46,510 --> 01:14:49,074
plugged into, that's a fast charge. Yeah. I

2075
01:14:49,074 --> 01:14:50,914
can get my phone from, like, 75 to

2076
01:14:50,914 --> 01:14:53,155
a 100 in, like, 10 minutes. It's brand

2077
01:14:53,155 --> 01:14:53,655
new.

2078
01:14:54,034 --> 01:14:55,255
Oh, it's the outlet.

2079
01:14:55,635 --> 01:14:57,795
Yeah. Okay. Everything else is as old as

2080
01:14:57,795 --> 01:14:59,550
shit. That's why it takes a lot of

2081
01:14:59,710 --> 01:15:00,210
charge.

2082
01:15:00,909 --> 01:15:03,069
So, you know, yeah, I, you know, I

2083
01:15:03,069 --> 01:15:04,449
do what I can to

2084
01:15:06,029 --> 01:15:08,510
with the scraps to do, you know, to

2085
01:15:08,510 --> 01:15:09,569
use things up.

2086
01:15:12,045 --> 01:15:14,765
It it's tiny little stuff that gets that

2087
01:15:14,765 --> 01:15:17,164
makes it to the burn barrel. Yeah. Because

2088
01:15:17,164 --> 01:15:19,085
he's gotten to a point where he goes

2089
01:15:19,085 --> 01:15:21,885
to the sawmill, he can usually, within like

2090
01:15:21,885 --> 01:15:23,185
half an inch, assess

2091
01:15:23,659 --> 01:15:25,579
that's wide enough I can probably get 3

2092
01:15:25,579 --> 01:15:27,739
paddles out of the width of that. Yep.

2093
01:15:28,060 --> 01:15:29,500
Okay. I'm only gonna get 2, and then

2094
01:15:29,500 --> 01:15:32,380
I'll have some extra. Or, you know yeah.

2095
01:15:32,380 --> 01:15:33,420
Mhmm. I mean, it's

2096
01:15:34,220 --> 01:15:36,939
and you went to the sawmill last week,

2097
01:15:36,939 --> 01:15:39,020
and probably next week you'll go again. Go

2098
01:15:39,020 --> 01:15:41,235
again. Mhmm. It's delightful. I love it. I'm

2099
01:15:41,235 --> 01:15:42,055
falling in love

2100
01:15:42,675 --> 01:15:44,755
it. So, and and silence that if it's

2101
01:15:44,835 --> 01:15:46,195
so it's not on the Kinkery, it's on

2102
01:15:46,195 --> 01:15:47,735
the wood dom. Yes.

2103
01:15:49,155 --> 01:15:51,635
Weapons of Ass Destruction are all on The

2104
01:15:51,635 --> 01:15:54,119
Kinkery. The Kinkery. The Kinkery dot com. Mhmm.

2105
01:15:54,420 --> 01:15:57,320
And then anything like the the bowls and

2106
01:15:58,659 --> 01:16:00,440
pens and different things and eventually,

2107
01:16:01,220 --> 01:16:03,380
like, you know, the these little phone stands

2108
01:16:03,380 --> 01:16:05,079
and different things. Yes. They're

2109
01:16:05,380 --> 01:16:07,720
they're all on the, wood dom on Etsy.

2110
01:16:07,780 --> 01:16:08,354
Mhmm. And,

2111
01:16:09,314 --> 01:16:13,154
other than these phone stands, everything on your

2112
01:16:13,154 --> 01:16:14,835
Etsy shop is one of a kind. Like,

2113
01:16:14,835 --> 01:16:16,274
you might use the same kind of wood

2114
01:16:16,274 --> 01:16:18,835
and and turn the same kind of shape

2115
01:16:18,835 --> 01:16:21,409
or, you know Yeah. But every like, they're

2116
01:16:21,409 --> 01:16:23,649
not repeatable where there's if you see a

2117
01:16:23,649 --> 01:16:25,090
type of style of pen, there's gonna be

2118
01:16:25,090 --> 01:16:26,689
10 to choose from it is. You Yeah.

2119
01:16:26,770 --> 01:16:28,289
Get it, and once it's gone, it's gone,

2120
01:16:28,289 --> 01:16:30,130
unless you decide to make it again. What

2121
01:16:30,130 --> 01:16:31,889
I was looking for actually before that I

2122
01:16:31,889 --> 01:16:32,710
didn't see

2123
01:16:33,090 --> 01:16:35,475
was the, the bowl that I made, like

2124
01:16:35,475 --> 01:16:37,074
the one that I showed, but I made

2125
01:16:37,074 --> 01:16:38,774
the lid for it. Oh, yeah. The lid.

2126
01:16:39,314 --> 01:16:40,135
It's somewhere.

2127
01:16:41,475 --> 01:16:43,255
I don't know. Because I don't think

2128
01:16:43,715 --> 01:16:45,074
is it listed on the site? I think

2129
01:16:45,074 --> 01:16:45,827
it might be listed on the site. It

2130
01:16:45,827 --> 01:16:47,640
should be listed on the site. Yeah.

2131
01:16:47,960 --> 01:16:49,020
I don't remember.

2132
01:16:49,560 --> 01:16:52,380
It all runs together after a while. Yeah.

2133
01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:53,020
So

2134
01:16:53,560 --> 01:16:53,880
But,

2135
01:16:54,840 --> 01:16:55,340
yeah.

2136
01:16:57,239 --> 01:16:58,619
Alright. Take care, Teshu.

2137
01:16:59,479 --> 01:17:02,220
So anything else on the section?

2138
01:17:04,005 --> 01:17:05,545
Yeah. Kind of. Uh-oh.

2139
01:17:06,564 --> 01:17:08,744
Do I know about it? No. You don't.

2140
01:17:08,805 --> 01:17:11,284
Oh, god. Okay. He's going rogue, y'all. Yeah.

2141
01:17:11,284 --> 01:17:11,864
I am.

2142
01:17:13,125 --> 01:17:14,904
You know, I I just wanted to

2143
01:17:16,530 --> 01:17:19,510
urge folks to get out and and vote.

2144
01:17:20,449 --> 01:17:23,170
American folks. American folks. Yes. Yeah. You are

2145
01:17:23,170 --> 01:17:25,569
legally allowed to vote. US folks that are,

2146
01:17:25,569 --> 01:17:27,329
you know, a lot legally allowed to vote

2147
01:17:27,329 --> 01:17:27,829
here.

2148
01:17:28,369 --> 01:17:30,470
You know, there's there's a lot of things

2149
01:17:31,064 --> 01:17:33,545
going on in the country, we all all

2150
01:17:33,744 --> 01:17:34,244
know,

2151
01:17:35,145 --> 01:17:36,265
you know, I'm not going to tell you

2152
01:17:36,265 --> 01:17:38,185
how to vote, that that's only something you

2153
01:17:38,185 --> 01:17:38,844
can do,

2154
01:17:39,145 --> 01:17:39,645
but,

2155
01:17:40,185 --> 01:17:42,344
you know, I I something I read today

2156
01:17:42,344 --> 01:17:43,965
in in in one of the news

2157
01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:45,300
articles

2158
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:49,360
really kinda shocked me that many people go

2159
01:17:49,360 --> 01:17:49,860
to,

2160
01:17:51,360 --> 01:17:54,340
you know, the to the to vote and,

2161
01:17:55,280 --> 01:17:57,060
you know, they they vote on the main,

2162
01:17:58,925 --> 01:18:01,324
you know, for president. Mhmm. And that's it.

2163
01:18:01,324 --> 01:18:03,005
And then leave everything else blank. And leave

2164
01:18:03,005 --> 01:18:04,225
everything else blank.

2165
01:18:04,685 --> 01:18:06,364
You know, there there there there's a lot

2166
01:18:06,364 --> 01:18:07,425
of things happening

2167
01:18:07,965 --> 01:18:09,965
in this country and, you know, I I

2168
01:18:09,965 --> 01:18:12,445
really urge everybody, you know, not just go

2169
01:18:12,445 --> 01:18:14,380
out and vote but, you know,

2170
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,319
have opinions on on some of these these

2171
01:18:17,319 --> 01:18:19,720
amendments and different things. You were just because

2172
01:18:19,720 --> 01:18:22,199
Florida has a bunch of constitutional amendments Yes.

2173
01:18:22,280 --> 01:18:24,119
This year. And we usually the way our

2174
01:18:24,119 --> 01:18:25,935
constitution works, we usually do in an election

2175
01:18:25,935 --> 01:18:26,654
cycle. Yeah.

2176
01:18:27,135 --> 01:18:29,135
I know the general site for an American

2177
01:18:29,135 --> 01:18:30,414
to go to to see what is on

2178
01:18:30,414 --> 01:18:32,734
your ballot and so you can research the

2179
01:18:32,734 --> 01:18:34,654
the people and the things that aren't, like,

2180
01:18:34,654 --> 01:18:36,594
just the president. That's go to vote.org.

2181
01:18:37,375 --> 01:18:39,390
But what did you go to? I went

2182
01:18:39,390 --> 01:18:41,010
to a site that I came across,

2183
01:18:41,390 --> 01:18:42,130
it's called

2184
01:18:42,750 --> 01:18:43,250
vote411.org.

2185
01:18:45,310 --> 01:18:46,770
Okay. Okay. Okay?

2186
01:18:47,310 --> 01:18:50,369
And and it is not a a local

2187
01:18:50,750 --> 01:18:51,250
site.

2188
01:18:54,125 --> 01:18:54,784
It is,

2189
01:18:55,324 --> 01:18:57,104
it you put in your address

2190
01:18:57,405 --> 01:18:58,704
and it generates

2191
01:18:59,085 --> 01:18:59,585
everything

2192
01:18:59,885 --> 01:19:02,864
for your district. Gotcha. You know, from

2193
01:19:04,045 --> 01:19:07,025
federal down to local and all state

2194
01:19:08,560 --> 01:19:09,060
amendments

2195
01:19:09,680 --> 01:19:11,699
and everything. And it's vote411.org.

2196
01:19:13,760 --> 01:19:16,420
The number is 411. 411. Yes. Mhmm.

2197
01:19:17,360 --> 01:19:18,979
You know, I I,

2198
01:19:20,074 --> 01:19:22,094
I went there, I put in my address,

2199
01:19:23,594 --> 01:19:25,295
it came up and said, yep, you're

2200
01:19:26,475 --> 01:19:29,514
registered to vote. Oh, good! You know, it

2201
01:19:29,514 --> 01:19:31,594
gave me that information. You wanna know how

2202
01:19:31,594 --> 01:19:32,954
crazy I'd be if we got there and

2203
01:19:32,954 --> 01:19:34,850
they tried to tell us we weren't registered?

2204
01:19:34,850 --> 01:19:36,949
And and and that that website,

2205
01:19:37,810 --> 01:19:38,310
also

2206
01:19:39,090 --> 01:19:40,609
points you in the direction if you need

2207
01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:43,109
to register Mhmm. Where you can do that.

2208
01:19:44,850 --> 01:19:46,770
And by putting in my address, it gave

2209
01:19:46,770 --> 01:19:48,949
me everything, and I could go through everything

2210
01:19:49,250 --> 01:19:50,904
step by step. Yeah. Because we had been

2211
01:19:50,904 --> 01:19:52,904
talking about we needed to look we there

2212
01:19:52,904 --> 01:19:54,585
are 2 amendments that we know what we're

2213
01:19:54,585 --> 01:19:55,324
gonna say

2214
01:19:55,784 --> 01:19:57,965
yes to. Yeah. And that is,

2215
01:19:58,425 --> 01:20:01,225
to restore abortion rights in Florida and for

2216
01:20:01,225 --> 01:20:04,185
recreational marijuana use. Yeah. If you don't agree,

2217
01:20:04,185 --> 01:20:06,310
that's that's lovely. You don't have to. Right.

2218
01:20:06,470 --> 01:20:07,909
But the others, we were like, these are

2219
01:20:07,909 --> 01:20:09,750
mysteries. We don't even know what these amendments

2220
01:20:09,750 --> 01:20:12,789
are. Right. So and and what and what's

2221
01:20:12,789 --> 01:20:14,869
nice, you know, because we all know a

2222
01:20:14,869 --> 01:20:16,935
lot of times these amendments are worded that,

2223
01:20:17,095 --> 01:20:18,935
you know There's one that makes it sound

2224
01:20:18,935 --> 01:20:20,935
really wholesome, but then when you dug into

2225
01:20:20,935 --> 01:20:23,335
it, we were like, no. We're not saying

2226
01:20:23,335 --> 01:20:25,335
yes to this, but the way it's worded

2227
01:20:26,295 --> 01:20:29,095
Mhmm. Yes. What the fuck? And and it

2228
01:20:29,095 --> 01:20:31,335
gives you, you know, it tells you what

2229
01:20:31,335 --> 01:20:33,489
is what with these amendments. What would happen

2230
01:20:33,489 --> 01:20:35,170
if you voted yes? What would happen if

2231
01:20:35,170 --> 01:20:36,149
you voted no?

2232
01:20:36,770 --> 01:20:38,850
So, you know Yeah. That was really helpful

2233
01:20:38,850 --> 01:20:40,850
and useful. It it was. So, you know,

2234
01:20:40,850 --> 01:20:42,930
I I urge you folks, please get out

2235
01:20:42,930 --> 01:20:43,430
there,

2236
01:20:43,810 --> 01:20:45,904
vote, you know, have have your say in

2237
01:20:45,904 --> 01:20:47,744
all these matters that are going on in

2238
01:20:47,744 --> 01:20:50,305
our country right now. We we need we

2239
01:20:50,305 --> 01:20:51,984
need that. Yeah. Please. It's one of those

2240
01:20:51,984 --> 01:20:54,064
things where you think your single vote doesn't

2241
01:20:54,064 --> 01:20:55,284
matter, but if

2242
01:20:55,904 --> 01:20:57,345
you were not the only one who will

2243
01:20:57,345 --> 01:20:59,770
have that thought and if everybody who has

2244
01:20:59,770 --> 01:21:02,569
that thought Mhmm. Were to vote, it it

2245
01:21:02,649 --> 01:21:05,770
you know, one drop alone yeah. Not much.

2246
01:21:05,770 --> 01:21:08,810
But when it's a whole bunch altogether moving

2247
01:21:08,810 --> 01:21:11,949
in the same direction Mhmm. That's when hopefully

2248
01:21:12,010 --> 01:21:13,310
things could be different

2249
01:21:13,835 --> 01:21:15,375
than they currently are.

2250
01:21:16,954 --> 01:21:19,435
So yeah. No. I agree. Vote 411. That's

2251
01:21:19,435 --> 01:21:20,734
cool. I'll I may go

2252
01:21:21,114 --> 01:21:23,215
and look. I look. I am

2253
01:21:23,994 --> 01:21:26,335
anxious as fuck. We all know this. Mhmm.

2254
01:21:26,715 --> 01:21:27,675
We vote

2255
01:21:28,260 --> 01:21:29,779
we try to vote every time. I think

2256
01:21:29,779 --> 01:21:31,619
we missed did we vote in the primary?

2257
01:21:31,619 --> 01:21:33,639
No. We missed the primary this year.

2258
01:21:34,099 --> 01:21:36,179
I can't remember why that would what happened.

2259
01:21:36,179 --> 01:21:39,059
But okay. So we vote when it it

2260
01:21:39,059 --> 01:21:40,599
comes up and we get to vote.

2261
01:21:41,219 --> 01:21:43,425
Mhmm. But I was like I think I've

2262
01:21:43,425 --> 01:21:45,125
read too many articles about

2263
01:21:46,304 --> 01:21:47,204
voter suppression

2264
01:21:47,585 --> 01:21:49,664
and people being kicked off the voter rolls.

2265
01:21:49,664 --> 01:21:51,185
And I was like, I so I started

2266
01:21:51,185 --> 01:21:52,005
getting paranoid.

2267
01:21:52,465 --> 01:21:54,324
Like, somehow by some mystery

2268
01:21:54,864 --> 01:21:57,329
Mhmm. I have would be knocked off. Yeah.

2269
01:21:57,329 --> 01:21:58,530
I don't think I have been, and I

2270
01:21:58,530 --> 01:21:59,670
will still double check.

2271
01:22:00,210 --> 01:22:02,369
But if I showed up to vote and

2272
01:22:02,369 --> 01:22:04,609
they told me I was not listed, I

2273
01:22:04,689 --> 01:22:06,930
they they better they'd have to haul me

2274
01:22:06,930 --> 01:22:09,109
off. Yeah. I tell you, I'll be

2275
01:22:09,489 --> 01:22:09,989
pissed.

2276
01:22:10,530 --> 01:22:12,630
Mhmm. I I would stand back.

2277
01:22:13,265 --> 01:22:15,265
And not because I didn't care about you

2278
01:22:15,425 --> 01:22:17,185
I'd probably get cast. But because because I

2279
01:22:17,185 --> 01:22:19,585
know you'd be like the freaking Tasmanian devil,

2280
01:22:19,585 --> 01:22:21,664
man. You'd just be I don't lose my

2281
01:22:21,664 --> 01:22:22,725
shit to strangers

2282
01:22:23,345 --> 01:22:24,405
hardly ever,

2283
01:22:25,744 --> 01:22:27,744
but that would be a time. Yeah. That

2284
01:22:27,744 --> 01:22:28,645
would be a time. Yep.

2285
01:22:29,239 --> 01:22:30,060
I personally

2286
01:22:30,760 --> 01:22:31,739
have always

2287
01:22:32,280 --> 01:22:35,000
lived in very deep red parts of the

2288
01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:37,159
south. That's I've said this before. I hope

2289
01:22:37,159 --> 01:22:38,520
this does not come as some sort of

2290
01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:39,340
shock to anybody.

2291
01:22:40,439 --> 01:22:43,215
When you are one of a few little

2292
01:22:43,215 --> 01:22:45,614
blue dots in a deep red area, you

2293
01:22:45,614 --> 01:22:47,774
do get funky looks when they hand you

2294
01:22:47,774 --> 01:22:50,494
your ballot, though. I just smile sweetly and

2295
01:22:50,494 --> 01:22:52,515
make and maintain eye contact. I hate maintaining

2296
01:22:52,574 --> 01:22:54,414
eye contact, but if you're going to give

2297
01:22:54,414 --> 01:22:57,215
me side eye because there's a d on

2298
01:22:57,215 --> 01:22:57,779
my ballot,

2299
01:22:58,899 --> 01:23:01,219
I'm going to make you as uncomfortable as

2300
01:23:01,219 --> 01:23:03,079
you're trying to make me.

2301
01:23:04,020 --> 01:23:04,520
So

2302
01:23:05,219 --> 01:23:07,139
Yep. Yep. Hey, God. If that if the

2303
01:23:07,139 --> 01:23:10,260
fact that we vote, blue in Democrats surprises

2304
01:23:10,260 --> 01:23:12,260
anybody, I'm gonna think you you might be

2305
01:23:12,260 --> 01:23:14,594
new here. We do not talk about politics

2306
01:23:14,654 --> 01:23:16,895
very often, but we are because for us,

2307
01:23:16,895 --> 01:23:17,875
it's a it's

2308
01:23:18,654 --> 01:23:20,255
a it's a personal thing that's not what

2309
01:23:20,255 --> 01:23:22,435
this channel is about. Even though politics affects

2310
01:23:22,654 --> 01:23:24,594
every part of life, we all know that.

2311
01:23:24,734 --> 01:23:27,135
But we are invested in on our in

2312
01:23:27,135 --> 01:23:29,189
our personal life, and we are trying to

2313
01:23:29,189 --> 01:23:31,689
keep ourselves educated on issues and trying to

2314
01:23:31,909 --> 01:23:34,710
make the best decision we can make in

2315
01:23:34,710 --> 01:23:36,090
a 2 party system

2316
01:23:36,630 --> 01:23:39,270
that feels really outdated when you look around

2317
01:23:39,270 --> 01:23:41,369
at the rest of the world. Yeah.

2318
01:23:42,390 --> 01:23:43,449
So yeah.

2319
01:23:44,204 --> 01:23:46,444
I am absolutely a bleeding heart liberal. I

2320
01:23:46,444 --> 01:23:48,364
know that's not even an expression that's used

2321
01:23:48,364 --> 01:23:50,304
anymore, so I'm showing my age

2322
01:23:50,604 --> 01:23:53,185
there. I'm a tree hugging hippie liberal. Okay.

2323
01:23:55,324 --> 01:23:57,804
Damn hippies. I know. Yeah. Yeah. You're gonna

2324
01:23:57,804 --> 01:23:58,625
watch me.

2325
01:23:59,780 --> 01:24:02,119
So But but yeah. Do, you know,

2326
01:24:02,579 --> 01:24:05,640
please do, folks. Please please please do. Just

2327
01:24:06,260 --> 01:24:08,659
learn what's on your ballot. Yep. You know,

2328
01:24:08,659 --> 01:24:11,239
quit Google searches on names you don't recognize.

2329
01:24:11,940 --> 01:24:13,000
Mhmm. You know?

2330
01:24:14,304 --> 01:24:14,804
Yep.

2331
01:24:15,264 --> 01:24:15,744
But

2332
01:24:16,784 --> 01:24:18,005
So So,

2333
01:24:18,385 --> 01:24:19,604
Annie Annie who?

2334
01:24:19,984 --> 01:24:21,824
Now that now that we got up on

2335
01:24:21,824 --> 01:24:23,925
that soapbox Yeah. Yeah.

2336
01:24:25,184 --> 01:24:25,684
But,

2337
01:24:25,984 --> 01:24:28,244
you know, I I just felt it was,

2338
01:24:28,465 --> 01:24:30,439
you know I respect that.

2339
01:24:31,219 --> 01:24:34,180
I think for me, because politics I I

2340
01:24:34,180 --> 01:24:36,100
have the luxury and the privilege for politics

2341
01:24:36,100 --> 01:24:38,180
to be private, and that's just how I

2342
01:24:38,180 --> 01:24:39,539
have all I mean, it is a luxury

2343
01:24:39,539 --> 01:24:40,979
and it is a privilege to be able

2344
01:24:40,979 --> 01:24:43,319
to keep your political thoughts to yourself. Right.

2345
01:24:44,375 --> 01:24:47,014
I just default to that, but Mhmm.

2346
01:24:47,414 --> 01:24:48,694
No. Yeah. No. We,

2347
01:24:49,414 --> 01:24:51,814
we believe in, human rights for for all

2348
01:24:51,814 --> 01:24:52,795
people. Yes.

2349
01:24:54,375 --> 01:24:55,835
We are pro abortion.

2350
01:24:56,614 --> 01:24:58,375
The best conversation I ever got to have

2351
01:24:58,375 --> 01:24:59,970
with the oldest is when I was trying

2352
01:24:59,970 --> 01:25:01,329
to teach him about why he needs to

2353
01:25:01,329 --> 01:25:03,170
wrap it up until he's ready to be

2354
01:25:03,170 --> 01:25:03,989
having babies.

2355
01:25:05,409 --> 01:25:07,109
He we were talking about

2356
01:25:08,850 --> 01:25:10,850
how broke I was when I got pregnant

2357
01:25:10,850 --> 01:25:12,609
with him and how he was a surprise.

2358
01:25:12,609 --> 01:25:15,085
We were not planning on having children at

2359
01:25:15,085 --> 01:25:16,944
that point. And he interpreted

2360
01:25:17,804 --> 01:25:19,885
it as me being either living in the

2361
01:25:19,885 --> 01:25:21,425
south and not having access

2362
01:25:22,125 --> 01:25:25,244
to abortion or not knowing I had that

2363
01:25:25,244 --> 01:25:27,470
as an option. And I said I said,

2364
01:25:27,470 --> 01:25:30,350
baby, I said, I chose you because I

2365
01:25:30,350 --> 01:25:32,850
had that luxury. I could choose,

2366
01:25:33,310 --> 01:25:34,909
and I chose you. And his little face

2367
01:25:34,909 --> 01:25:37,970
just Lit up. It's like Yep. It's about

2368
01:25:38,030 --> 01:25:38,770
the choice.

2369
01:25:39,150 --> 01:25:39,650
Oh.

2370
01:25:40,095 --> 01:25:42,034
So, anyway. Yeah.

2371
01:25:43,055 --> 01:25:44,975
If you are shocked by where we stand,

2372
01:25:44,975 --> 01:25:45,795
okay, well,

2373
01:25:46,335 --> 01:25:46,835
welcome.

2374
01:25:49,454 --> 01:25:50,515
Yeah. Mhmm.

2375
01:25:52,654 --> 01:25:54,270
So I guess we can be done now.

2376
01:25:54,270 --> 01:25:56,850
I I think we're good. Yeah. Yep. Oh.

2377
01:25:56,989 --> 01:25:58,510
Until next week. Next week,

2378
01:26:00,270 --> 01:26:01,250
we get the,

2379
01:26:03,470 --> 01:26:05,550
we we we have some celebrating to do

2380
01:26:05,550 --> 01:26:06,289
next week.

2381
01:26:06,945 --> 01:26:08,864
Just look. Wherever we end up going to

2382
01:26:08,864 --> 01:26:10,885
eat, do not tell them it's my birthday.

2383
01:26:11,104 --> 01:26:13,024
Mhmm. Please do not tell that is a

2384
01:26:13,024 --> 01:26:14,704
red. That is a red. That is a

2385
01:26:14,864 --> 01:26:17,024
I'm throwing down all my safe words. That

2386
01:26:17,024 --> 01:26:18,704
is a red. Do not tell strangers that

2387
01:26:18,704 --> 01:26:19,524
it's my birthday.

2388
01:26:23,300 --> 01:26:25,460
If you decide you're going to sing at

2389
01:26:25,460 --> 01:26:27,859
me, just be prepared for me to cringe

2390
01:26:27,859 --> 01:26:30,019
a little bit. I I promise I won't

2391
01:26:30,019 --> 01:26:30,519
sing.

2392
01:26:31,139 --> 01:26:32,899
You have a great voice because it's not

2393
01:26:32,899 --> 01:26:35,704
you. It is me. It is absolutely a

2394
01:26:35,704 --> 01:26:36,364
me thing.

2395
01:26:36,744 --> 01:26:38,904
Please, no. I'll do it in spoken spoken

2396
01:26:40,984 --> 01:26:42,604
No. No. Happy birthday

2397
01:26:43,304 --> 01:26:44,444
to you. No.

2398
01:26:44,904 --> 01:26:47,145
Happy birthday. No. That's a different level of

2399
01:26:47,145 --> 01:26:48,320
cringe. Oh my

2400
01:26:48,780 --> 01:26:51,180
god. I want to still be sexually attracted

2401
01:26:51,180 --> 01:26:51,840
to you

2402
01:26:52,699 --> 01:26:54,159
the day after my birthday.

2403
01:26:54,539 --> 01:26:55,039
Okay?

2404
01:26:55,420 --> 01:26:55,920
So

2405
01:26:56,780 --> 01:26:58,079
I'm gonna need you

2406
01:26:58,619 --> 01:27:00,159
to not do that.

2407
01:27:03,064 --> 01:27:04,444
But it's not singing.

2408
01:27:08,744 --> 01:27:09,564
So anyway,

2409
01:27:10,264 --> 01:27:12,024
I know that you are going to try

2410
01:27:12,024 --> 01:27:14,024
to embarrass the shit out of me next

2411
01:27:14,024 --> 01:27:14,524
week.

2412
01:27:15,829 --> 01:27:17,829
And it's fine. What you're speaking of. It's

2413
01:27:17,829 --> 01:27:19,609
fine. I can handle it. It's fine.

2414
01:27:21,670 --> 01:27:23,210
We're on that note though,

2415
01:27:24,869 --> 01:27:26,250
we're gonna go. Yes.

2416
01:27:27,189 --> 01:27:28,739
Wait a minute. Folks.

2417
01:27:30,385 --> 01:27:32,064
What? I was gonna say we'll be back

2418
01:27:32,064 --> 01:27:33,765
next week, but you were still going.

2419
01:27:37,185 --> 01:27:37,685
Alright.

2420
01:27:38,064 --> 01:27:40,225
Good night, folks. Thank you for being here

2421
01:27:40,225 --> 01:27:42,485
with us. Especially to the bitter end. Right?

2422
01:27:42,545 --> 01:27:45,800
Yep. Where it really gets wild. Mhmm. We

2423
01:27:45,800 --> 01:27:46,199
will,

2424
01:27:47,320 --> 01:27:50,859
see y'all next time. Yep. Mhmm. Bye.