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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, episode

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415.

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K. The lords here were the 1, the

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only, the

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you are as tired as I am, but

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here we are powering through together. Doing what

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we do. That's what we do. John Brownstone.

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I'm sorry. I made that a little low

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key depressing and could not actually be funny

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today.

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It's okay. Yeah. It's been a couple days.

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It's been a couple days. We'll talk about

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that in the bonus section because if we

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can't whine in the bonus section, where can

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we whine?

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That's not actually what we are doing here

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today. We are back after taking time off

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for

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Milton.

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If you do not follow us on social

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media and you wondered, I'll just go ahead

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and say now, we were just fine. Nothing

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major happened to us. We were very, very

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lucky in

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this one. We we just had some light

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branches and stuff to pick up in the

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yard. That's it. Very minimal. So we're back,

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and we're keeping it light and easy with

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a BDSM

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response episode.

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I even picked one that I don't know

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that I'll rant,

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but I know one eyebrow went straight up

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the moment I read it. So I must

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be a doozy.

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Maybe. We'll see.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday

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for your kinky pleasure and education and show

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notes are found at loving BDSM dot net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram and technically threads at that handle

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I will forever fucking hate, loving d s

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and the number one. So at loving d

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s one or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving

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BDSM, or you can watch us live stream

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the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in

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the show notes. Take it away.

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Did you I'm not good at innuendo. I

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think you completely missed that. No. I I

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Oh. Yeah. Then you didn't even give me

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a look for the satisfaction.

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Nope. Podcast listeners,

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we were talking about how good JB is

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with magic buttons.

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And then he just he just didn't even

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respond.

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Kept his old poker face.

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Is that what it's gonna be like this

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week?

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Yeah. Yeah. It probably is. Okay. Let's get

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into things. Before we get into anything, I

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would like to thank, this week's sponsor,

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not us,

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the FLOR

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app. FLOR is a dating app, for safely

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exploring one's kinks and desires. It is not

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a kink specific

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dating app, but it is a kink friendly

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dating app. They do not have a problem

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with kinky folks,

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showing up and being there.

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They say the way they say it is

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they don't draw age, gender, race, or other

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lines. Anyone is welcome to embark,

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on an adventure as soon as you're open

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and honest with with yourself and and the

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people you're connecting with, and also that you

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respect boundaries. We love a place that understands

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the boundaries are meant to be respected. Yes.

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They

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how do I put this?

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I've lost my words literally in the middle

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of the thought.

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I am so good at this.

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Every user is verify verified,

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and you have control over,

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what kind of stuff you receive

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from folks.

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They also do not allow

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to like, the the the certain, like, the

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places where you're allowed to show your tits

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y'all.

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So they don't allow certain things to be

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sent at all.

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There is a free option. And then if

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you want more, there is a paid option.

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So you can download it for free to

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check it out, see if it's, you know,

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your vibe. If you're like, yeah. Yeah. I

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like this space.

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And then if you want all of the

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functionality, then you can choose

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to to sign up and pay. The link

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is in the places,

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if you would like to check that out.

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Yeah. I I the last time I was

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in it so I signed up

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right before the last time that they sponsored

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because I wanted I wanted to check the

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vibe.

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The very next day, I don't do dating

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apps y'all. Y'all, I didn't have to. I

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came up before. That was, like, the only

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way to meet somebody.

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If you wanna meet somebody the way I

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did, you're gonna have to go back to

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2012 and start a blog. Okay. So

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sorry.

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The like, within a day or so, I

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had a whole bunch of people

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that they had, like, shown that they were

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like, this person is interested in your profile.

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And I just did, like, the same little

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selfie that's not, like, not my boobs. You

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know? Just it was short hair. Not this

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color. Sorry. Hope nobody feels like I'm, catfishing

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them.

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And it it was pretty fast. I was

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like, okay. But I also like the fact

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that they didn't know I was I could

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see who they were. I like that. Yeah.

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I don't yeah. And and what,

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I I signed up too. Mhmm. And I

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I actually was able to link our accounts.

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Yes. That's cool. A couple. Yeah. That's the

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other thing I like about Flor because, yes,

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you can be single and monogamous.

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You can be non monogamous,

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but looking for a new partner or other

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partners. And you get to, like, you get

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to connect with potential partners if they also

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wanna be on that app. You get

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to designate

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which one which one are you. Are you

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monogamous or non monogamous? And I like that

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the more information you in my opinion, the

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more information you can put out there, the

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more, hopefully, you weed out the ones you

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don't want. They just self select out and

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go, oh, that's not my that's not what

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I'm looking for. And then you have a

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little less, you know,

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to deal with. So, yeah. If you are

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looking for an app that is not like

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the other apps,

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and you don't necessarily need it to be

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kink focused, just kink friendly, kink aware, check

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out Fleur. You can try it for free.

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Download it for free. Link is in the

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places. Thank you to Fleur for

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sponsoring.

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Thank you.

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Okay. Okay. We have announcements. Mhmm. Announcements. Announcements.

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Announce. There will not be a Monday episode

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next week. Again, we're taking a second Monday

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off. And we'll talk more about that in

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the bonus section. But we it's it's a

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little bit we had to do it for

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our mental health. Yeah. We are here doing

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this episode

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because we wanted to, because it's a fun

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one.

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But trying to

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go just do a little bit more was

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just No. One ask too many for for

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us right now.

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And it was killing me because it even

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wasn't even gonna be a q and a

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episode. We're gonna do a review. We haven't

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done a review in ages. Right. Lord, I

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accidentally made our Instagram

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blow up, and now all kinds of people

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would like us to do reviews.

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It's weird. It's been a hot minute, y'all.

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Mhmm. And here we are. So, yeah, not

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nothing on Monday. So if if you,

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are like, where the hell did they go?

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We're getting back into it. We're it we

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had stuff come up. We'll talk about it

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later. Yeah.

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The, second announcement

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is that this Friday, October 18th, the day

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this episode comes out for audio podcast listeners,

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9:30 PM is our monthly livestream.

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We hang out. It gets random and weird,

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and also we answer kinky, questions. True. We

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do. Do a kinky q and a.

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Starts 9:30 PM EST. We do our best,

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barring anything weird, to go until midnight.

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That is probably as late as we will

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ever go, but certainly this weekend because we're

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working this weekend, and I don't mind. I'm

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excited to be doing that. Yep. But,

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so, yeah, that'll be,

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on YouTube, 9:30 PM live stream. You can

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come hang out with us. We make great

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background noise.

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Also,

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I have had people go, I had stuff

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I needed to do, but I just put

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you on the background. My feelings are hurt.

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Put me on the background. Do that for

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all the episodes. But this one, there's no

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set topic. We are just we have talked

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about bacon. We have talked about pie. We

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have talked about way too much about Star

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Trek and Star Wars. So books, like, whatever

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comes up is very random. We call it

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a virtual munch because

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in a way it is. We're all just

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we're all just showing up in whatever we

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talk about. We talk about it. Sometimes it's

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kinky, sometimes it's not. So

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that

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is the announcements.

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Nice. Okay. So we are doing a BDSM

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Reddit response. It has been a hot minute

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since we've done one. Mhmm.

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I found one in the,

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BDSM, am I the asshole, subreddit run by

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our friend, Princess Rara.

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And then the rest are from the BDSM

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advice

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subreddit.

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And the last one,

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I I can never guarantee what will make

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me rant y'all, but I I did I

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did have a little attitude about it as

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I was reading it. So

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I'm gonna believe the person asked that question

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in good faith, but I'm I've got thoughts.

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So let's get into it. We're gonna we're

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gonna just

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go down the list. Just dive right in.

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See what,

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see what comes up. So Okay.

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First one

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why are all these things on the screen

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and what is happening? Okay. This one is,

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a long one. So bear with this. Am

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I the asshole?

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Am I the asshole

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for not wanting my dom to have a

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say in my financial standing slash saving ability?

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So here's the backstory. I had a dom

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who lives 2 hours away from me, and

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I've seen him two times, both for a

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full weekend, arrive Friday evening, leave Sunday afternoon.

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So the 1st weekend was hard on me

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as it was more than I bargained for,

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but he was very good about apologizing for

268
00:09:33,759 --> 00:09:36,019
overstepping, ignoring my signs of distress,

269
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,044
getting drunk and hurting me, and overall just

270
00:09:39,044 --> 00:09:40,584
not leaving me with the best experience.

271
00:09:41,044 --> 00:09:42,485
I felt hurt as much as I was

272
00:09:42,485 --> 00:09:44,164
uncomfortable with some of what went down, so

273
00:09:44,164 --> 00:09:46,404
I gave him a second chance. The second

274
00:09:46,404 --> 00:09:48,485
weekend I saw I saw him, it was

275
00:09:48,485 --> 00:09:50,325
much more calm and focused more on my

276
00:09:50,325 --> 00:09:53,509
pleasure and regaining my trust. He booked us

277
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,670
a really nice room. We bathed together. It

278
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:57,750
was much easier to trust him after that.

279
00:09:57,750 --> 00:09:59,190
We had a lot of good talks after

280
00:09:59,190 --> 00:10:01,529
that weekend about how much I appreciated everything.

281
00:10:02,070 --> 00:10:03,750
So about a month ago, I had reached

282
00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:05,509
out saying I'd like to meet up again.

283
00:10:05,509 --> 00:10:07,290
The last time I saw him was July,

284
00:10:07,429 --> 00:10:09,105
and then I was ready to try more

285
00:10:09,404 --> 00:10:11,504
things knowing he would listen to me more

286
00:10:11,565 --> 00:10:13,804
and be more careful. We talked about everything

287
00:10:13,804 --> 00:10:15,485
we wanted for a few weeks and decided

288
00:10:15,485 --> 00:10:17,404
on a date. I let him know my

289
00:10:17,404 --> 00:10:19,884
cards were maxed out, so I'd etransfer him

290
00:10:19,884 --> 00:10:21,644
money for food for us that weekend if

291
00:10:21,644 --> 00:10:22,945
he could use his card.

292
00:10:23,459 --> 00:10:25,860
This started a mild argument about me going

293
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:26,919
broke for sex.

294
00:10:27,299 --> 00:10:28,820
I thought it was uncalled for as I'm

295
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:31,379
21 and have been financially independent and capable

296
00:10:31,379 --> 00:10:33,539
for several years. He said he was only

297
00:10:33,539 --> 00:10:35,299
looking out for me. I thanked him, but

298
00:10:35,299 --> 00:10:37,240
told him not to worry and moved on.

299
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,904
This morning, 4 hours before I was supposed

300
00:10:39,904 --> 00:10:41,184
to get on a bus, he asked me

301
00:10:41,184 --> 00:10:42,625
to pick up some stuff and I joked

302
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,245
about being broke and having $2.51

303
00:10:45,105 --> 00:10:47,184
to my name. I do really have no

304
00:10:47,184 --> 00:10:48,945
money, but I paid my fare off the

305
00:10:48,945 --> 00:10:51,024
trip and made sure I had everything I'd

306
00:10:51,024 --> 00:10:53,024
need. He then said he was no longer

307
00:10:53,024 --> 00:10:55,340
comfortable this knowing how broke I was.

308
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,879
Something to note, I have been off work

309
00:10:57,879 --> 00:10:59,799
for 2 months for medical leave and have

310
00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:02,759
been collecting EI. I'm thinking that must be,

311
00:11:02,759 --> 00:11:04,540
like, some sort of temporary

312
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:06,779
funds or whatever.

313
00:11:07,384 --> 00:11:08,904
I'm due to get more of that on

314
00:11:08,904 --> 00:11:11,384
October 1st and frequently run out of money

315
00:11:11,384 --> 00:11:13,384
before I'm paid. I always have everything I

316
00:11:13,384 --> 00:11:15,304
need. I know how to handle everything. And,

317
00:11:15,304 --> 00:11:17,784
honestly, I enjoy shopping and going out. I

318
00:11:17,784 --> 00:11:19,384
still live with a family, so my rent

319
00:11:19,384 --> 00:11:21,070
is minimal. I don't have to buy groceries.

320
00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:23,169
I'm extremely lucky to be in this position.

321
00:11:23,790 --> 00:11:25,629
Anyway, I told him how I didn't wanna

322
00:11:25,629 --> 00:11:27,309
continue this as I felt he was taking

323
00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:29,950
a level of control I didn't want, telling

324
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,790
me he only wanted to see me again

325
00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:34,350
once I started saving money. And he flipped

326
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:36,485
me for painting him as a quote controlling

327
00:11:36,485 --> 00:11:36,985
asshole,

328
00:11:37,365 --> 00:11:39,125
even though I had explained I felt my

329
00:11:39,125 --> 00:11:41,144
trust had been broken and it was unfair.

330
00:11:41,445 --> 00:11:43,445
He said, I'm not going to try to

331
00:11:43,445 --> 00:11:45,445
get you to understand shit to you to

332
00:11:45,445 --> 00:11:48,245
understand shit since you think I'm nothing more

333
00:11:48,245 --> 00:11:50,980
than another controlling asshole and have obviously built

334
00:11:50,980 --> 00:11:52,899
an image in your head. I make it

335
00:11:52,899 --> 00:11:54,740
very clear I don't like taking advantage of

336
00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,259
people, and I made it clear early on

337
00:11:56,259 --> 00:11:57,620
that if you don't have enough money to

338
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:59,399
do this comfortably, then we can postpone.

339
00:11:59,860 --> 00:12:02,419
You were less than the lowest paper note

340
00:12:02,419 --> 00:12:03,240
from bankruptcy.

341
00:12:03,699 --> 00:12:06,714
That's not comfortable, end quote. That's all what

342
00:12:06,714 --> 00:12:09,674
he said. Back to the person. Now hear

343
00:12:09,674 --> 00:12:12,154
me out. Having dollars in my account having

344
00:12:12,475 --> 00:12:14,314
yeah. Dollars in my account is normal for

345
00:12:14,314 --> 00:12:16,634
me. It's not uncomfortable or scary as I'm

346
00:12:16,634 --> 00:12:18,154
lucky to know there's food at home and

347
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,490
a roof over my head. But despite me

348
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,649
explaining all this, he still wouldn't see me.

349
00:12:22,649 --> 00:12:24,889
I had spent a $100 on bus tickets

350
00:12:24,889 --> 00:12:27,529
that can't be refunded and bought many supplies

351
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:29,210
that would no. I would not use on

352
00:12:29,210 --> 00:12:31,230
my own and have been preparing for weeks.

353
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:33,865
After our disagreement on how it was handled,

354
00:12:33,865 --> 00:12:35,865
he blocked me. And honestly, I hope he

355
00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:38,845
stays gone. In my opinion, that was unfair.

356
00:12:39,544 --> 00:12:41,304
Too long didn't read. Dom won't see me

357
00:12:41,304 --> 00:12:43,304
because I'm too broke to to live what

358
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,445
he sees as comfortable,

359
00:12:44,789 --> 00:12:46,549
even though he's aware I have practically no

360
00:12:46,549 --> 00:12:48,149
bills and have been off work for months

361
00:12:48,149 --> 00:12:50,070
and still was making this work. Am I

362
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,909
the one in the wrong here? My opinion

363
00:12:51,909 --> 00:12:53,529
is financial should not contribute,

364
00:12:54,629 --> 00:12:56,149
to if you want to sleep with me

365
00:12:56,149 --> 00:12:58,149
or not, regardless of if you're trying to,

366
00:12:58,149 --> 00:12:59,384
quote, help.

367
00:13:00,884 --> 00:13:02,804
I think it's just all bad from the

368
00:13:02,804 --> 00:13:04,345
top. Yeah. Yep.

369
00:13:04,804 --> 00:13:05,304
Yeah.

370
00:13:06,324 --> 00:13:08,324
You know, there there are people who do

371
00:13:08,324 --> 00:13:08,824
incorporate

372
00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:10,664
Oh, absolutely. Financial,

373
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:16,389
you know, we'd call it dominance, I guess,

374
00:13:16,389 --> 00:13:17,450
in their relationship.

375
00:13:18,389 --> 00:13:20,950
Sure. It's not for everybody. Mhmm. It is

376
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:21,850
not for everybody.

377
00:13:22,389 --> 00:13:23,529
And, you know,

378
00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:27,370
she seems to have an understanding

379
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,210
of what

380
00:13:29,825 --> 00:13:30,485
were they.

381
00:13:30,785 --> 00:13:32,465
Go for they. Yeah. There was no. That's

382
00:13:32,465 --> 00:13:35,105
okay. No specification. They so, you know, they,

383
00:13:36,705 --> 00:13:37,924
kind of have an understanding.

384
00:13:39,024 --> 00:13:40,485
And to me,

385
00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:43,409
them saying, you know, I don't want this,

386
00:13:45,329 --> 00:13:48,289
he he overstepped the bounds. Well, see, that

387
00:13:48,449 --> 00:13:50,769
there was no negotiation here. No. No. There

388
00:13:50,769 --> 00:13:52,850
was no negotiation of here's what makes me

389
00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:54,850
comfortable, here's what makes you know, what are

390
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:58,165
you comfortable with? Mhmm. If you know, it

391
00:13:58,165 --> 00:14:00,245
sounds to me like the dom thought that

392
00:14:00,245 --> 00:14:01,605
all they had to say was if you

393
00:14:01,605 --> 00:14:03,605
don't have enough money, let's postpone, and then

394
00:14:03,605 --> 00:14:05,285
that that was the end of the conversation

395
00:14:05,285 --> 00:14:07,684
and they had made themselves clear. Yeah. Clearly,

396
00:14:07,684 --> 00:14:09,924
they had not. This person was still planning

397
00:14:09,924 --> 00:14:12,404
for this visit Yeah. And it's only a

398
00:14:12,404 --> 00:14:14,700
few hours out that they call up, that

399
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,940
is suspicious to me. I think that's less

400
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:19,419
about, oh, you don't have enough money and

401
00:14:19,419 --> 00:14:22,620
more about because if they immediately blocked after

402
00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:23,440
this argument,

403
00:14:25,179 --> 00:14:26,860
did you just not want the visit and

404
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,804
now you're feeling pressured and now you're, like,

405
00:14:28,804 --> 00:14:30,725
lashing out and making it their fault for

406
00:14:30,725 --> 00:14:32,904
being too broke for you? Like, there's

407
00:14:34,325 --> 00:14:36,165
everybody's gonna have a different opinion about this.

408
00:14:36,165 --> 00:14:38,004
I don't think there's a right opinion about

409
00:14:38,004 --> 00:14:41,065
this. But my opinion at this moment is

410
00:14:41,365 --> 00:14:44,500
until we are in a legit dynamic and

411
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,639
my money has any bearing on your life,

412
00:14:48,259 --> 00:14:50,500
there's it doesn't matter how much money I

413
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,500
have in my account. Now Yeah. I do

414
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,000
think

415
00:14:53,779 --> 00:14:56,419
it's okay for him to say, I don't

416
00:14:56,419 --> 00:14:58,514
want we haven't negotiated this. I don't really

417
00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,274
want to pay can't or don't want to

418
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,674
pay for things for you. Mhmm. But if

419
00:15:02,674 --> 00:15:05,074
you have that conversation like adults, then you

420
00:15:05,074 --> 00:15:05,574
can,

421
00:15:06,034 --> 00:15:08,034
you know, work around it. It could be

422
00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:08,534
a

423
00:15:09,315 --> 00:15:11,579
maybe he couldn't afford to pay for their

424
00:15:11,579 --> 00:15:13,740
food and lash out and got absent who

425
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:14,720
knows? Who knows?

426
00:15:15,339 --> 00:15:18,539
But, yeah, living completely separate lives, only seeing

427
00:15:18,539 --> 00:15:20,699
each other every few months for just a

428
00:15:20,699 --> 00:15:21,980
week at a time, you don't get a

429
00:15:21,980 --> 00:15:24,299
single fucking say over the money in my

430
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:26,399
account. And if I am comfortable

431
00:15:26,855 --> 00:15:29,415
with the life I'm leading and getting to

432
00:15:29,415 --> 00:15:31,055
and fro and taking care of myself Yeah.

433
00:15:31,175 --> 00:15:33,735
I think the only place where absolutely this

434
00:15:33,735 --> 00:15:35,815
dom had every right to, like, go, I

435
00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:37,975
don't wanna do that Yeah. Was the, will

436
00:15:37,975 --> 00:15:39,575
you pay for the food on your card,

437
00:15:39,575 --> 00:15:41,970
and I'll send the money back to you.

438
00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:44,049
Not that I think that that's unreasonable for

439
00:15:44,049 --> 00:15:46,769
somebody to to to have that conversation, go,

440
00:15:46,769 --> 00:15:48,769
hey. Can we do this? I also think

441
00:15:48,769 --> 00:15:50,769
it's not unreasonable for somebody else to go,

442
00:15:50,769 --> 00:15:51,889
no. I don't wanna do that. You don't

443
00:15:51,889 --> 00:15:53,809
know their relationship with money. You don't know

444
00:15:53,809 --> 00:15:56,245
how they feel about feeling like people owe

445
00:15:56,245 --> 00:15:57,764
them or trying to get paid back. Like

446
00:15:57,764 --> 00:16:00,024
every like money is such a touchy thing.

447
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,345
But I don't think this was about money.

448
00:16:03,365 --> 00:16:04,345
Maybe not.

449
00:16:04,804 --> 00:16:06,964
I I think it ended up being a

450
00:16:06,964 --> 00:16:09,784
handy excuse of, I just don't wanna see

451
00:16:10,789 --> 00:16:12,709
it. You know? This isn't this isn't easy,

452
00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:14,149
fun, and carefree, and I don't have to

453
00:16:14,149 --> 00:16:14,970
have any responsibility.

454
00:16:15,269 --> 00:16:16,870
You're bringing an issue to me where I'm

455
00:16:16,870 --> 00:16:19,190
gonna have a sense of responsibility, and I

456
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:20,950
don't want that. But instead of the dom

457
00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:24,149
just saying something like that, it became about

458
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,815
the money. Yeah. Yeah. And to me, it

459
00:16:26,815 --> 00:16:28,754
it shows a a certain immaturity

460
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,674
on on the other person,

461
00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:32,894
you know, on on the dominant because, you

462
00:16:32,894 --> 00:16:34,274
know, people have arguments.

463
00:16:34,575 --> 00:16:36,894
Yeah. Alright? You know, whether you're you're you're

464
00:16:36,894 --> 00:16:39,350
friends, whether you're, you know, a couple, whether

465
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:41,850
you're you're married, whatever the the the

466
00:16:42,309 --> 00:16:44,470
people are gonna argue. It it's just human

467
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:44,970
nature.

468
00:16:46,149 --> 00:16:47,850
And, you know, you have,

469
00:16:48,710 --> 00:16:52,404
healthy communication and healthy arguing because there is

470
00:16:52,404 --> 00:16:54,004
such a thing as, you know You and

471
00:16:54,004 --> 00:16:56,325
I disagree more frequently than I think either

472
00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:57,144
of us wish,

473
00:16:58,165 --> 00:16:59,065
quite frankly.

474
00:17:00,245 --> 00:17:02,404
And and, you know, to to just, you

475
00:17:02,404 --> 00:17:05,059
know, block someone and and that's that's the

476
00:17:05,059 --> 00:17:07,640
tell right there. Because this wasn't a,

477
00:17:08,019 --> 00:17:10,099
I am I am really worried about you

478
00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:11,940
and I am uncomfortable with us and or

479
00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:14,019
I also cannot help pay for the things

480
00:17:14,019 --> 00:17:15,240
that you can't afford

481
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:17,460
or I'm unwilling to because of my own

482
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:20,164
reasons that, you know, that I I think

483
00:17:20,225 --> 00:17:21,985
many people might find reasonable for somebody to

484
00:17:21,985 --> 00:17:23,505
go, I don't wanna pay for somebody that's,

485
00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:25,525
like, not my long term kind of person.

486
00:17:26,065 --> 00:17:28,164
Instead of having that adult conversation,

487
00:17:28,785 --> 00:17:29,445
it becomes,

488
00:17:29,985 --> 00:17:31,904
well, this is your fault. And with only

489
00:17:32,144 --> 00:17:33,985
so you're not that worried about a person's

490
00:17:33,985 --> 00:17:35,640
money if you cancel a trip on a

491
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,820
nonrefundable ticket. Yeah. If you

492
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:39,180
but also,

493
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,220
I'm happy this person did not go there

494
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,140
just because they had a nonrefundable

495
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:47,240
ticket Right. Because who knows what would play

496
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,599
there. That would've been a that could've been

497
00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:50,865
a bigger mistake. Yes. The red flags, though,

498
00:17:50,865 --> 00:17:52,625
were long before this conversation about money. It

499
00:17:52,625 --> 00:17:55,204
was that very first visit. Mhmm. Like,

500
00:17:56,545 --> 00:17:57,365
I understand

501
00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:01,184
going too hard too fast the first time

502
00:18:01,184 --> 00:18:02,785
you're together, been there, done that. We we

503
00:18:02,785 --> 00:18:04,704
kinda did that too. Yeah. But please let

504
00:18:04,704 --> 00:18:05,525
me go back

505
00:18:05,899 --> 00:18:08,480
to where I immediately disliked this individual

506
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:10,720
because it was

507
00:18:11,179 --> 00:18:13,759
ignoring signs of distress, getting drunk

508
00:18:14,139 --> 00:18:16,779
and hurting me, overall just not leaving me

509
00:18:16,779 --> 00:18:19,500
with the best experience, then getting drunk alone,

510
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,845
I'm like, because you can miss signs of

511
00:18:21,845 --> 00:18:23,684
distress with a new partner. To me, that

512
00:18:23,684 --> 00:18:25,284
means you just slow the hell down and

513
00:18:25,284 --> 00:18:27,384
become extra careful, but okay. Right.

514
00:18:28,085 --> 00:18:30,005
So I feel like there were already signs

515
00:18:30,005 --> 00:18:32,400
that this was not probably a good situation

516
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,619
to begin with. Now

517
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,940
out of the actual question asked,

518
00:18:36,559 --> 00:18:37,539
I know my opinion.

519
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,140
Is this person

520
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,920
who is pissed that the whole thing got

521
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,559
like, not letting the dom control the money

522
00:18:44,559 --> 00:18:46,304
or have a say over the money? Are

523
00:18:46,304 --> 00:18:47,284
they the asshole?

524
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:48,944
The person who asked the question, do you

525
00:18:48,944 --> 00:18:50,784
think they're the asshole? No. Right. I don't

526
00:18:51,024 --> 00:18:52,944
No. The thing is is yeah. They're definitely

527
00:18:52,944 --> 00:18:54,964
not the asshole because until it is negotiated,

528
00:18:55,024 --> 00:18:56,464
nobody has a say over your money. But

529
00:18:56,464 --> 00:18:58,325
the way this story plays out,

530
00:18:58,944 --> 00:19:00,325
this person was not

531
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:02,660
trying to control about the money. This was

532
00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:05,140
I really think this was something else. I

533
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,980
think there was something else at play, and

534
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:08,599
the money was just

535
00:19:09,140 --> 00:19:10,599
a convenient reason

536
00:19:11,460 --> 00:19:11,960
personally.

537
00:19:12,340 --> 00:19:15,080
It's possible. Personally. It's entirely possible.

538
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:16,200
Okay.

539
00:19:16,705 --> 00:19:20,244
Next one. Now we're into the BDSM advice

540
00:19:20,465 --> 00:19:21,845
Mhmm. Sub Reddit.

541
00:19:24,305 --> 00:19:26,225
You saw the headline. I I saw the

542
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:28,625
headline, and that was enough for me right

543
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,859
there. Damn it. You always gotta get context,

544
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,039
but I know. I know. I know. Just

545
00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:33,180
here we go. I know.

546
00:19:33,559 --> 00:19:36,759
My dom has multiple subs, but doesn't want

547
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,220
me to do the same.

548
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,920
They say, I know the answers are going

549
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,599
to say talk to him, and I absolutely

550
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,039
will, but I just wanted to get some

551
00:19:44,039 --> 00:19:45,900
outside perspectives as well.

552
00:19:46,275 --> 00:19:48,115
I've been seeing Adam for a while. He's

553
00:19:48,115 --> 00:19:50,295
great, and things are getting a little relationship

554
00:19:50,674 --> 00:19:53,075
y outside of the dynamic also. He has

555
00:19:53,075 --> 00:19:55,174
one other sub and is looking for more.

556
00:19:55,634 --> 00:19:57,634
He doesn't mind if I date other men,

557
00:19:57,634 --> 00:20:00,190
but he doesn't want me engaging in anything

558
00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:02,930
d s related with anyone other than him.

559
00:20:03,309 --> 00:20:05,549
This doesn't seem fair as he does those

560
00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:07,789
things with others, and it also limits my

561
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,650
options as I am fairly consistently

562
00:20:10,350 --> 00:20:12,590
bruised and marked, which turns off a lot

563
00:20:12,590 --> 00:20:13,730
of vanilla men.

564
00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:16,194
Yeah. I can see that. Anyway, just looking

565
00:20:16,194 --> 00:20:17,474
at people's thoughts on this. If you're a

566
00:20:17,474 --> 00:20:18,754
sub, what would you do? And if you're

567
00:20:18,754 --> 00:20:20,595
a dom, do you have this rule and

568
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,095
why?

569
00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:24,754
I don't like the some for me and

570
00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:26,855
none for these Yeah. Kind of thing.

571
00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:30,509
It's good for me, but not for you.

572
00:20:30,509 --> 00:20:32,829
Right. Yeah. I can do this, but you

573
00:20:32,829 --> 00:20:34,049
can't. Mhmm.

574
00:20:34,589 --> 00:20:37,470
Here's the thing. The bare surface, it's an

575
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:40,029
incompatibility thing. Yeah. If you are meeting somebody

576
00:20:40,029 --> 00:20:41,549
and you're deciding, do I wanna be in

577
00:20:41,549 --> 00:20:44,404
a relationship with them? And you nonmonogamy

578
00:20:44,704 --> 00:20:46,005
is fine, but

579
00:20:47,184 --> 00:20:49,984
somebody has these really strict rules for for

580
00:20:49,984 --> 00:20:52,384
you that they don't have for themselves. Yeah.

581
00:20:52,384 --> 00:20:54,704
That's an incompatibility. Go find somebody who is

582
00:20:55,024 --> 00:20:56,549
wants to live under that rule and does

583
00:20:56,549 --> 00:20:58,630
not have a problem with that because those

584
00:20:58,630 --> 00:21:02,069
people exist. Your pool's probably limited, but they

585
00:21:02,069 --> 00:21:04,789
exist. True. But this is we've been together.

586
00:21:04,789 --> 00:21:06,329
We're talking about this.

587
00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:07,450
And now

588
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:08,389
this is how

589
00:21:10,149 --> 00:21:10,649
Nope.

590
00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:12,734
Well, we can't be done now. That was

591
00:21:12,734 --> 00:21:14,255
30 seconds. That was too easy. What are

592
00:21:14,255 --> 00:21:14,994
your thoughts?

593
00:21:16,894 --> 00:21:18,914
I I mean, my thoughts are, you know,

594
00:21:19,855 --> 00:21:20,674
it it's

595
00:21:21,134 --> 00:21:23,375
not fair. I mean, even like like you

596
00:21:23,375 --> 00:21:24,115
with us.

597
00:21:24,414 --> 00:21:25,555
Mhmm. Alright?

598
00:21:26,669 --> 00:21:27,889
You know,

599
00:21:28,429 --> 00:21:30,190
I I do go out, I I date,

600
00:21:30,190 --> 00:21:30,849
I see.

601
00:21:32,349 --> 00:21:33,809
Mhmm. You can't.

602
00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:37,490
Right up. You know? No. You you can't.

603
00:21:38,109 --> 00:21:39,869
I don't want you to. Yeah. That wouldn't

604
00:21:39,869 --> 00:21:41,034
work. Right?

605
00:21:41,414 --> 00:21:43,575
I mean, you'd you're in theory, but, you

606
00:21:43,575 --> 00:21:45,494
know It's a choice I'm making. I have

607
00:21:45,494 --> 00:21:46,075
the option.

608
00:21:46,454 --> 00:21:48,934
And and we know I'm gonna go for

609
00:21:48,934 --> 00:21:50,234
toppy people anyway.

610
00:21:51,015 --> 00:21:54,234
My personal choices is I can't imagine having

611
00:21:54,509 --> 00:21:57,470
another partner that I call daddy. Like, the

612
00:21:57,470 --> 00:21:58,369
title label

613
00:21:58,750 --> 00:22:01,710
honorific is sort of it's very meaningful to

614
00:22:01,710 --> 00:22:04,450
me. You are daddy. Could there be another

615
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:05,490
caregiver

616
00:22:05,869 --> 00:22:06,369
type?

617
00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,865
Maybe. May I mean, I can't I can't

618
00:22:09,865 --> 00:22:11,805
imagine it, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.

619
00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,144
But, yeah, it's it is exactly like if

620
00:22:15,144 --> 00:22:16,345
you're like, okay, man. I go see all

621
00:22:16,345 --> 00:22:18,025
these subs and bottoms, and I'm gonna, like,

622
00:22:18,025 --> 00:22:19,785
live my best top life out here. And

623
00:22:19,785 --> 00:22:22,184
you're like, okay. No no doms. Yeah. You

624
00:22:22,184 --> 00:22:23,400
you you can date, but

625
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,960
only these people I'm comfortable with. Yeah. And

626
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,799
that says more about the person setting the

627
00:22:27,799 --> 00:22:30,279
role than anything else. Why are you so

628
00:22:30,279 --> 00:22:32,359
insecure in your own dominance that you can't

629
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:33,580
let them experience

630
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:36,680
dom top whatever energy with somebody else? Are

631
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,700
you are you worried that they'll start comparing

632
00:22:39,105 --> 00:22:41,045
and find you lacking and wanting?

633
00:22:43,025 --> 00:22:44,644
These would be my questions.

634
00:22:46,304 --> 00:22:47,845
Yeah. I think it's fine.

635
00:22:48,865 --> 00:22:51,210
It's fine to have that preference. If that

636
00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:53,210
preference gets laid out as part of a

637
00:22:53,289 --> 00:22:54,909
we're figuring out if we're compatible.

638
00:22:55,289 --> 00:22:57,450
Yeah. I this is who I'm looking for

639
00:22:57,450 --> 00:22:59,210
and how I I would like life to

640
00:22:59,210 --> 00:23:01,210
be. Because here's the thing. You can like

641
00:23:01,369 --> 00:23:02,970
want life to be like that all you

642
00:23:02,970 --> 00:23:05,150
want and then never find a person willing

643
00:23:05,289 --> 00:23:07,154
to give it to you. But that's okay.

644
00:23:07,154 --> 00:23:09,075
You get to want what you want. But

645
00:23:09,075 --> 00:23:10,434
to just say, yep. This is how it

646
00:23:10,434 --> 00:23:12,055
is. If you're gonna be my sub,

647
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,515
you know, sucks to suck, I the I

648
00:23:14,515 --> 00:23:16,755
would not be telling the the submissive to

649
00:23:16,755 --> 00:23:18,195
be talking to no damn body. I'd be

650
00:23:18,195 --> 00:23:19,715
telling them, maybe you just need to, like,

651
00:23:19,715 --> 00:23:21,130
lose their number and tell them to have

652
00:23:21,130 --> 00:23:22,970
a good life and go live your best

653
00:23:22,970 --> 00:23:24,829
kinky life with somebody else.

654
00:23:25,849 --> 00:23:26,250
Like

655
00:23:27,769 --> 00:23:30,410
and I know in the non monogamous side

656
00:23:30,410 --> 00:23:32,089
of the world, in and out of the

657
00:23:32,089 --> 00:23:35,674
kink community, people have very strong feelings about

658
00:23:35,975 --> 00:23:36,795
rule setting

659
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,795
and boundary setting in nonmonogamous

660
00:23:41,255 --> 00:23:43,595
relationships about what one partner is sort of,

661
00:23:43,815 --> 00:23:44,475
you know,

662
00:23:45,335 --> 00:23:47,815
air quote, allowed to decree for somebody else,

663
00:23:47,815 --> 00:23:49,335
and that is not a boundary. That's a

664
00:23:49,335 --> 00:23:51,559
rule you have set for somebody else. And

665
00:23:51,559 --> 00:23:52,460
even in power

666
00:23:52,759 --> 00:23:54,599
exchange, some rules don't aren't allowed to be

667
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:55,420
set. Right?

668
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:56,460
Yeah.

669
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,740
The boundary would be, if it's a boundary,

670
00:23:59,799 --> 00:24:02,039
the dom would go, if you date other

671
00:24:02,039 --> 00:24:03,880
doms, I cannot continue doing so I don't

672
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:04,548
want to be in this relationship anymore. That's

673
00:24:04,548 --> 00:24:04,623
a fair boundary to have. Mhmm. But to

674
00:24:04,623 --> 00:24:05,339
make it a rule in your power exchange,

675
00:24:06,565 --> 00:24:08,164
But to make it a rule in your

676
00:24:08,164 --> 00:24:09,045
power exchange? Yeah. No. Nope. I'm not

677
00:24:09,845 --> 00:24:10,505
nah. No. No. No. No. Uh-uh.

678
00:24:11,125 --> 00:24:11,625
Mm-mm.

679
00:24:12,244 --> 00:24:14,164
But and that's I mean, it's my my

680
00:24:14,164 --> 00:24:14,904
non trusting nature.

681
00:24:20,180 --> 00:24:21,859
Why what are you so insecure about that

682
00:24:21,859 --> 00:24:24,660
you can't handle Mhmm. A a submissive of

683
00:24:24,660 --> 00:24:25,160
yours

684
00:24:25,619 --> 00:24:28,339
experiencing dominance of somebody else? And I'd I'd

685
00:24:28,339 --> 00:24:30,579
be curious if he's that way with the

686
00:24:30,579 --> 00:24:31,079
other.

687
00:24:31,539 --> 00:24:33,619
That would be a good question. Probably, though.

688
00:24:33,619 --> 00:24:35,365
I have I have come across them online

689
00:24:35,365 --> 00:24:36,724
and when I mean come across them, I'm

690
00:24:36,724 --> 00:24:38,325
like, seen them out there in the wild.

691
00:24:38,325 --> 00:24:40,345
I I do not interact with with

692
00:24:41,444 --> 00:24:43,525
people in general, but certainly not those types,

693
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:45,684
who just collect subs. Like, what are they

694
00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:47,944
actually doing? There comes a point in time

695
00:24:48,005 --> 00:24:50,890
that you're either cookie cut it cutting,

696
00:24:52,549 --> 00:24:53,990
you know, stuff where it's all the same

697
00:24:53,990 --> 00:24:55,829
for everybody and so then it's probably a

698
00:24:55,829 --> 00:24:57,829
little less meaningful. Or you're saying you have

699
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:58,950
all these subs and you really do not

700
00:24:58,950 --> 00:25:01,269
have all these subs because everybody has a

701
00:25:01,269 --> 00:25:03,690
limit in just how much human interaction

702
00:25:04,705 --> 00:25:06,625
at that level that they can do and

703
00:25:06,625 --> 00:25:08,545
maintain a life and, like, have a job

704
00:25:08,545 --> 00:25:10,384
and pay your fucking bills and mow your

705
00:25:10,384 --> 00:25:12,005
lawn or whatever. Right? Like

706
00:25:12,465 --> 00:25:14,325
so I tend to give side eye

707
00:25:14,785 --> 00:25:17,089
to these certain types of doms

708
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:19,150
who, not doing it on a professional level,

709
00:25:19,150 --> 00:25:21,789
not keeping every relationship casual, but are just

710
00:25:21,789 --> 00:25:22,289
collecting

711
00:25:22,990 --> 00:25:23,809
the submissives

712
00:25:24,190 --> 00:25:24,690
Yeah.

713
00:25:25,710 --> 00:25:27,789
And trying to to run their lives at

714
00:25:27,789 --> 00:25:29,470
this level. Like, I just I don't

715
00:25:32,195 --> 00:25:33,974
I'm giving side eye every time.

716
00:25:34,355 --> 00:25:36,674
Look. Somebody's gonna show up in a comment

717
00:25:36,674 --> 00:25:39,075
somewhere telling me how they're the one exception

718
00:25:39,075 --> 00:25:40,994
and they can do this. Great. You're the

719
00:25:40,994 --> 00:25:42,295
exception, not the rule.

720
00:25:43,315 --> 00:25:45,070
That's just what that is. Also, I might

721
00:25:45,070 --> 00:25:46,450
give you side eye. Just saying.

722
00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:48,529
Just saying.

723
00:25:51,150 --> 00:25:51,650
So

724
00:25:52,109 --> 00:25:54,350
Okay. That was actually kinda yeah. The moment

725
00:25:54,350 --> 00:25:56,269
I saw that title, I was like, oh,

726
00:25:56,269 --> 00:25:56,670
yeah. We're

727
00:25:57,230 --> 00:26:00,054
okay. Here's the next one. And this one

728
00:26:00,054 --> 00:26:01,815
I think is interesting because I think it's

729
00:26:01,815 --> 00:26:02,954
one of those where

730
00:26:03,335 --> 00:26:05,174
the question they're asking is not actually they

731
00:26:05,174 --> 00:26:07,095
don't that's not really what we're talking about

732
00:26:07,095 --> 00:26:08,474
here. So here we go. Okay.

733
00:26:09,335 --> 00:26:11,595
Is there a way to learn to like

734
00:26:11,654 --> 00:26:13,194
impact play more?

735
00:26:13,769 --> 00:26:15,549
My boyfriend and I, submissive,

736
00:26:15,850 --> 00:26:17,369
have been exploring a bit of a dom

737
00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:20,009
sub relationship. However, he's into impact play and

738
00:26:20,009 --> 00:26:21,769
I am not actually. I'm a real wimp

739
00:26:21,769 --> 00:26:22,990
when it comes to pain.

740
00:26:23,289 --> 00:26:24,730
I do want to please him though. Is

741
00:26:24,730 --> 00:26:26,250
there any way for me to get more

742
00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:28,570
into it? I do sometimes like the sting

743
00:26:28,570 --> 00:26:30,434
afterwards because it reminds me of what I

744
00:26:30,434 --> 00:26:32,434
went through for him, but I really can't

745
00:26:32,434 --> 00:26:33,954
last long and I want to do better

746
00:26:33,954 --> 00:26:35,954
to please him. Could I just be giving

747
00:26:35,954 --> 00:26:37,875
up too soon? Am I a bad sub

748
00:26:37,875 --> 00:26:39,714
for not just putting up with more? He

749
00:26:39,714 --> 00:26:41,634
hasn't even made me bruise except for 2

750
00:26:41,634 --> 00:26:43,015
hits during one session.

751
00:26:43,380 --> 00:26:45,140
I think he's been going pretty easy on

752
00:26:45,140 --> 00:26:47,299
me. I see posts or comments where subs

753
00:26:47,299 --> 00:26:49,059
are taking a lot of hits and getting

754
00:26:49,059 --> 00:26:51,380
very bruised. I feel like a bad sub.

755
00:26:51,380 --> 00:26:53,619
We're pretty early in the dynamic though. He

756
00:26:53,619 --> 00:26:55,779
hasn't made me feel bad or even complained,

757
00:26:55,779 --> 00:26:57,799
but I know he wants to do more.

758
00:26:58,414 --> 00:27:00,015
So the question is not really the question.

759
00:27:00,015 --> 00:27:01,615
You know this. Right? Go ahead. What are

760
00:27:01,615 --> 00:27:02,674
your thoughts? Yeah.

761
00:27:05,775 --> 00:27:07,154
You know, I I

762
00:27:07,934 --> 00:27:09,714
if if a person is not

763
00:27:10,015 --> 00:27:10,755
a masochist,

764
00:27:11,869 --> 00:27:13,950
you know, there's not really anything you can

765
00:27:14,109 --> 00:27:15,809
No. You know, there's no

766
00:27:17,309 --> 00:27:18,210
pain training

767
00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:20,769
No. So to speak, you know? Mm-mm.

768
00:27:22,190 --> 00:27:24,350
So go ahead. No. You had thoughts. Mm-mm.

769
00:27:24,350 --> 00:27:26,654
Go. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. Go.

770
00:27:26,955 --> 00:27:28,715
For the record, he's telling me to speak.

771
00:27:28,715 --> 00:27:31,615
Okay? I'm not just interrupting. Baby girl, talk.

772
00:27:32,555 --> 00:27:33,855
So here's the thing.

773
00:27:34,234 --> 00:27:37,055
You can, as a submissive, decide to

774
00:27:37,355 --> 00:27:40,380
endure something Mhmm. For a partner.

775
00:27:41,019 --> 00:27:42,619
That's a choice you can make. True. And

776
00:27:42,619 --> 00:27:45,099
you find the pleasure that you get from

777
00:27:45,099 --> 00:27:46,240
doing the thing,

778
00:27:46,779 --> 00:27:49,660
from the the after effects, from whatever whatever.

779
00:27:49,660 --> 00:27:52,140
And that's the service of what yeah. Whatever.

780
00:27:52,140 --> 00:27:54,505
Like, whatever it is that speaks to your

781
00:27:54,644 --> 00:27:57,525
bottom subheart, and you're like, yes. For to

782
00:27:57,525 --> 00:27:59,205
get this, I will do this. I will

783
00:27:59,205 --> 00:28:00,265
allow this to happen.

784
00:28:02,005 --> 00:28:02,745
But, also,

785
00:28:04,005 --> 00:28:05,845
you can do impact that's not even really

786
00:28:05,845 --> 00:28:06,664
that painful.

787
00:28:07,099 --> 00:28:09,519
Like True. It could be that

788
00:28:10,460 --> 00:28:10,960
they

789
00:28:11,339 --> 00:28:14,140
don't like certain types of pain. Mhmm. It

790
00:28:14,140 --> 00:28:15,660
could be they they don't like certain it

791
00:28:15,660 --> 00:28:17,019
could be they just don't like impact play.

792
00:28:17,019 --> 00:28:18,299
I mean, that's let's just put that out

793
00:28:18,299 --> 00:28:20,059
there. That's very valid. I I mean yeah.

794
00:28:20,059 --> 00:28:21,820
I mean, that and that's absolutely true because

795
00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:23,825
some people like duds, some people like sting,

796
00:28:23,964 --> 00:28:25,484
you know. And I mean, you and I

797
00:28:25,484 --> 00:28:27,164
have done impact play that's it feels a

798
00:28:27,164 --> 00:28:29,345
little niche because not it's not real common,

799
00:28:29,644 --> 00:28:32,204
but it did not actually physically hurt. It

800
00:28:32,204 --> 00:28:33,105
was literally

801
00:28:33,404 --> 00:28:35,884
it's a a punching thing that a dumb

802
00:28:35,884 --> 00:28:38,119
friend of former friend of ours showed him.

803
00:28:38,180 --> 00:28:41,140
And, it's not painful to me. There's nothing

804
00:28:41,140 --> 00:28:42,279
about it as painful,

805
00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:45,940
but it's this very pleasant, thuddy sensation that

806
00:28:45,940 --> 00:28:46,519
I like.

807
00:28:47,059 --> 00:28:49,059
So if I was telling somebody who said

808
00:28:49,059 --> 00:28:50,734
they did not like impact play because they

809
00:28:50,734 --> 00:28:52,414
do not like the sensation they're feeling, I

810
00:28:52,414 --> 00:28:54,015
would say, okay. If this is something you're

811
00:28:54,015 --> 00:28:54,914
willing to try,

812
00:28:55,295 --> 00:28:57,455
you need to try more sensations. Also, there's

813
00:28:57,455 --> 00:28:59,775
nothing wrong with a partner, a top, or

814
00:28:59,775 --> 00:29:00,355
a dom

815
00:29:00,734 --> 00:29:03,695
striking you lightly. Like Right. Little taps and

816
00:29:03,695 --> 00:29:05,795
smacks can count. Is it

817
00:29:06,419 --> 00:29:08,899
as much as maybe the dom has experienced

818
00:29:08,899 --> 00:29:10,980
in the past would love to experience? No.

819
00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:12,339
But you and I have had this conversation.

820
00:29:12,339 --> 00:29:13,859
There are some partners you've had that you

821
00:29:13,859 --> 00:29:16,179
love playing with them because you could wail

822
00:29:16,179 --> 00:29:19,059
on them in ways you cannot wail on

823
00:29:19,059 --> 00:29:21,379
me. Correct. But that doesn't mean you don't

824
00:29:21,379 --> 00:29:24,265
like what you can do with me. Right.

825
00:29:24,265 --> 00:29:27,244
Right. Because the real thing here go ahead.

826
00:29:27,304 --> 00:29:30,044
I I I think the the the thing

827
00:29:31,865 --> 00:29:34,284
the underlying thing that sticks out to me

828
00:29:34,970 --> 00:29:36,970
is the fact that this person is comparing

829
00:29:36,970 --> 00:29:39,529
themselves to other subs who have all these

830
00:29:39,529 --> 00:29:40,029
bruises,

831
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,809
and you know, no. No. You can't do

832
00:29:42,809 --> 00:29:44,910
that. Be you. Do what you

833
00:29:45,210 --> 00:29:47,724
enjoy. Do what you like. Who gives a

834
00:29:47,724 --> 00:29:50,125
fuck what others submissives are doing? Right. Right.

835
00:29:50,125 --> 00:29:50,625
Right.

836
00:29:51,085 --> 00:29:52,924
Because part of it let's be real. Some

837
00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:54,524
people can get welled on and never bruise

838
00:29:54,524 --> 00:29:56,125
and mark. Does that somehow mean that they

839
00:29:56,125 --> 00:29:58,204
went through less impact? No. Of course not.

840
00:29:58,204 --> 00:29:59,724
Some people, you could look at them cross

841
00:29:59,724 --> 00:30:01,164
eyed, and now they have a red mark

842
00:30:01,164 --> 00:30:03,220
on their ass. And they barely it you

843
00:30:03,220 --> 00:30:06,019
know, somebody else's perspective, quote, barely got touched.

844
00:30:06,019 --> 00:30:08,179
Right? Mhmm. So what other people are doing

845
00:30:08,179 --> 00:30:10,619
has no fucking bearing on what you do.

846
00:30:10,740 --> 00:30:13,059
What you're doing. Yeah. If what you're doing

847
00:30:13,059 --> 00:30:14,785
is something and that this is the first

848
00:30:14,785 --> 00:30:16,384
thing to a person has to get through

849
00:30:16,384 --> 00:30:17,984
their head. Is this something I want to

850
00:30:17,984 --> 00:30:21,105
be doing? Mhmm. Missus have to be very

851
00:30:21,105 --> 00:30:23,684
careful because that desire to please a dom

852
00:30:23,744 --> 00:30:26,065
can sometimes outweigh your own fucking wants, needs,

853
00:30:26,065 --> 00:30:28,509
and boundaries. And safety too. Right. And so

854
00:30:28,509 --> 00:30:30,509
sometimes you will agree to things that you

855
00:30:30,509 --> 00:30:31,009
genuinely

856
00:30:31,470 --> 00:30:33,730
hate and wish you were not doing because

857
00:30:34,109 --> 00:30:35,549
you want to make your partner happy. You

858
00:30:35,549 --> 00:30:37,309
think it makes them happy. A good partner

859
00:30:37,309 --> 00:30:38,750
does not wanna do shit with you that

860
00:30:38,750 --> 00:30:40,750
you don't wanna do. Yeah. I know. They

861
00:30:40,750 --> 00:30:43,055
don't wanna do something that you are dreading

862
00:30:43,055 --> 00:30:45,055
every time it happens. And I am not

863
00:30:45,055 --> 00:30:45,875
talking about

864
00:30:46,414 --> 00:30:49,295
specific scenarios and scenes that are about the

865
00:30:49,295 --> 00:30:50,515
sadism and masochism

866
00:30:50,815 --> 00:30:53,134
of, you know, taunting and teasing and kind

867
00:30:53,134 --> 00:30:55,695
of consensually making somebody a little miserable. That's

868
00:30:55,695 --> 00:30:57,900
that's not what I'm talking about. If it

869
00:30:57,900 --> 00:31:01,039
is a kink act that you just fucking

870
00:31:01,100 --> 00:31:02,559
hate and don't want,

871
00:31:03,259 --> 00:31:05,019
the right partner for you doesn't wanna be

872
00:31:05,019 --> 00:31:06,859
doing it to you. That's not that's not

873
00:31:06,859 --> 00:31:08,320
fun for them either. Right?

874
00:31:09,340 --> 00:31:11,384
So that's the first thing that somebody's gotta

875
00:31:11,384 --> 00:31:12,984
get through their head. Do I actually wanna

876
00:31:12,984 --> 00:31:15,305
be doing this? If what you want and

877
00:31:15,305 --> 00:31:16,845
there's nothing wrong also

878
00:31:17,305 --> 00:31:19,945
with wanting, I think, for submissive to want

879
00:31:19,945 --> 00:31:21,945
to give their partner something that they want,

880
00:31:21,945 --> 00:31:23,789
but there's gotta be a balance there.

881
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:26,990
So it's I do things that JB likes

882
00:31:26,990 --> 00:31:28,590
that I don't love, that if you gave

883
00:31:28,590 --> 00:31:30,109
me the option, I'd probably go, yeah. No.

884
00:31:30,109 --> 00:31:31,650
I'd like to skip that, please.

885
00:31:32,350 --> 00:31:33,549
Why do I do it? Because I like

886
00:31:33,549 --> 00:31:35,230
to make him happy. Because I like to

887
00:31:35,230 --> 00:31:37,549
endure things. I totally, like, relate to that

888
00:31:37,549 --> 00:31:39,309
whole getting the sting knowing I went through

889
00:31:39,309 --> 00:31:41,205
it. I think that's a valid reason to

890
00:31:41,205 --> 00:31:41,865
do shit

891
00:31:42,244 --> 00:31:44,744
as long as other needs are being met.

892
00:31:44,805 --> 00:31:47,464
And everything isn't just about you enduring,

893
00:31:47,765 --> 00:31:49,765
unless you were that type of person that

894
00:31:49,765 --> 00:31:51,845
gets off on that. Those people exist too.

895
00:31:51,845 --> 00:31:52,744
It's complicated

896
00:31:53,045 --> 00:31:53,945
is my point.

897
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,319
The the thing this person is doing to

898
00:31:56,319 --> 00:31:57,619
fuck themselves over

899
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:59,679
is comparing themselves to what other people are

900
00:31:59,679 --> 00:32:01,440
doing. I mean, you know, saying saying that

901
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,059
is just like some people

902
00:32:03,519 --> 00:32:05,519
would say, oh, I'm a terrible sub because

903
00:32:05,519 --> 00:32:06,660
I can't get to subspace.

904
00:32:07,224 --> 00:32:08,524
I've heard that before.

905
00:32:08,825 --> 00:32:10,424
Yeah. What's that got to do with anything?

906
00:32:10,424 --> 00:32:10,924
Exactly.

907
00:32:11,464 --> 00:32:13,724
Exactly. I know. But and that that's the

908
00:32:14,424 --> 00:32:16,904
the beauty of the Internet and online spaces

909
00:32:16,904 --> 00:32:18,345
is that we get to connect and see

910
00:32:18,345 --> 00:32:19,484
it, that we're not alone.

911
00:32:19,865 --> 00:32:20,605
The downside,

912
00:32:21,144 --> 00:32:23,359
one of many, is that we compare. We

913
00:32:23,359 --> 00:32:24,720
go, oh, I'm not doing it that way,

914
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,799
so am I doing something wrong? No. I

915
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:28,319
you know, I As long as what you're

916
00:32:28,319 --> 00:32:30,240
doing is consensual and it and it's, you

917
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:30,740
know,

918
00:32:31,599 --> 00:32:35,700
risk aware. Right. That's So if somebody wanted

919
00:32:35,759 --> 00:32:38,015
to see if they liked Impact Play more

920
00:32:38,015 --> 00:32:40,595
than they think that they do, I would

921
00:32:40,974 --> 00:32:43,134
whatever you're currently doing, back off on the

922
00:32:43,134 --> 00:32:43,634
intensity.

923
00:32:44,174 --> 00:32:47,634
Okay? There's no wrong level to start at.

924
00:32:47,694 --> 00:32:50,575
A light tap that does not create Mhmm.

925
00:32:50,654 --> 00:32:53,340
Any pain is just as valid as, like,

926
00:32:53,340 --> 00:32:56,220
hauling back and smacking somebody. Right? And and,

927
00:32:56,220 --> 00:32:57,440
you know, thing too,

928
00:32:58,700 --> 00:33:00,619
if if it's not so much pain, what

929
00:33:00,619 --> 00:33:03,500
about, you know, having maybe having some clothing

930
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:06,424
on? Yep. You were using a pal last

931
00:33:06,424 --> 00:33:08,585
night that usually, like, I can't can't do

932
00:33:08,585 --> 00:33:09,865
for very long. Mhmm. I actually had the

933
00:33:09,865 --> 00:33:11,625
covers over my ass, and I was able

934
00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:13,865
to go way longer. Right. That can can

935
00:33:13,865 --> 00:33:16,105
also blunt it. The other thing is to

936
00:33:16,105 --> 00:33:18,184
try different things. Has it been a hand?

937
00:33:18,184 --> 00:33:20,960
Well, try an object. Has it been wood?

938
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:22,720
Well, try a different material. Has it been

939
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,159
a god help you if it's been a

940
00:33:24,159 --> 00:33:25,919
cane, and that's what you started with. Back

941
00:33:25,919 --> 00:33:27,140
the fuck off. Okay?

942
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,819
Right. Like, that's a thing.

943
00:33:31,279 --> 00:33:33,839
If what you if what you genuinely want

944
00:33:33,839 --> 00:33:36,555
to explore is, can I enjoy impact play

945
00:33:36,555 --> 00:33:39,615
for impact play's sake, then you just lightly

946
00:33:40,154 --> 00:33:42,555
and slowly, you try different sensations and different

947
00:33:42,555 --> 00:33:43,775
tools and different methods?

948
00:33:44,075 --> 00:33:44,575
Because

949
00:33:45,195 --> 00:33:47,695
me standing up and bent over

950
00:33:48,139 --> 00:33:50,460
Mhmm. Is and getting smacked on the ass

951
00:33:50,460 --> 00:33:50,960
is

952
00:33:51,339 --> 00:33:53,980
a completely different sensation than me laying flat

953
00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:56,539
across JB's lap. So there's position. There's a

954
00:33:56,539 --> 00:33:58,240
lot of things somebody can do to go,

955
00:33:58,299 --> 00:34:00,960
is there an impact I like? But, ultimately,

956
00:34:01,019 --> 00:34:02,619
it's valid to just not like it. And

957
00:34:02,619 --> 00:34:04,994
let and let's just, you know, even with

958
00:34:04,994 --> 00:34:07,634
the hand. Mhmm. Okay? You know, if you

959
00:34:07,634 --> 00:34:09,554
if you hit and you come up or

960
00:34:09,554 --> 00:34:11,235
you come down with your hit, you come

961
00:34:11,235 --> 00:34:11,974
straight in,

962
00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:14,195
you know, and then there's if you if

963
00:34:14,195 --> 00:34:16,295
you hit and then you, you know,

964
00:34:16,675 --> 00:34:19,094
keep the pressure on for a second. Mhmm.

965
00:34:19,380 --> 00:34:21,619
There's lots of Lots of different ways to

966
00:34:21,619 --> 00:34:23,460
to change it up. So it gets really

967
00:34:23,460 --> 00:34:25,219
complex. Yes. There are ways to test to

968
00:34:25,219 --> 00:34:27,859
see, can I like impact play? Because and

969
00:34:27,859 --> 00:34:29,940
that's the other thing. It is okay to

970
00:34:29,940 --> 00:34:33,454
be very picky and specific about the sensation

971
00:34:33,454 --> 00:34:35,474
you like. There's nothing wrong with that.

972
00:34:35,855 --> 00:34:38,175
I so the way it works for me

973
00:34:38,175 --> 00:34:38,675
is

974
00:34:39,055 --> 00:34:40,974
if you're asking me what I like, I

975
00:34:40,974 --> 00:34:43,614
like thud, I like slow, I don't necessarily

976
00:34:43,614 --> 00:34:45,039
need a bunch of pain. I just like

977
00:34:45,039 --> 00:34:47,519
a consistent and rhythmic because I zone out

978
00:34:47,519 --> 00:34:49,139
to it. My brain shuts off.

979
00:34:49,679 --> 00:34:51,139
It's like a deep tissue massage.

980
00:34:51,759 --> 00:34:54,400
If you're asking my preference about impact, that's

981
00:34:54,559 --> 00:34:56,480
I don't care what the implement is. That's

982
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:57,619
what the fuck I like.

983
00:34:58,585 --> 00:35:00,445
What I will endure is

984
00:35:02,585 --> 00:35:04,265
the stuff I don't like. It's the sting.

985
00:35:04,265 --> 00:35:05,885
It's a swathe of a cane

986
00:35:06,184 --> 00:35:06,684
within

987
00:35:07,065 --> 00:35:09,625
very defined specific limits. Now if I'm in

988
00:35:09,625 --> 00:35:11,190
my masochist headspace,

989
00:35:11,489 --> 00:35:13,570
you it's fine. Be rough. Do stuff I

990
00:35:13,570 --> 00:35:15,570
wouldn't like in other times because that's for

991
00:35:15,570 --> 00:35:17,090
me, that's not about the impact so much

992
00:35:17,090 --> 00:35:18,690
as it is about whatever else is going

993
00:35:18,690 --> 00:35:20,690
on. But then there were things I will

994
00:35:20,690 --> 00:35:22,690
endure. I will endure because I have a

995
00:35:22,690 --> 00:35:24,494
sense of pride that I got through it.

996
00:35:24,575 --> 00:35:26,675
I will endure because I know

997
00:35:26,974 --> 00:35:28,275
this is making JB's

998
00:35:28,735 --> 00:35:31,795
little sadistic daddy side just so fucking happy.

999
00:35:31,855 --> 00:35:34,335
And that brings me joy too. But it

1000
00:35:34,335 --> 00:35:37,215
is a balance. It can't be all what

1001
00:35:37,215 --> 00:35:39,449
I want or all what you want. It's

1002
00:35:39,449 --> 00:35:42,090
gotta be A mix. Some happy ground in

1003
00:35:42,090 --> 00:35:44,110
the middle. But it is I mean,

1004
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:48,329
impact play is not the only goddamn thing

1005
00:35:48,329 --> 00:35:49,550
people can do together.

1006
00:35:49,849 --> 00:35:51,929
True. You can go, nope. We're not doing

1007
00:35:51,929 --> 00:35:54,444
that. And go find other things you like.

1008
00:35:54,444 --> 00:35:54,944
Mhmm.

1009
00:35:55,244 --> 00:35:56,864
And that to me is more meaningful

1010
00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:59,184
than trying to get to some

1011
00:35:59,484 --> 00:36:01,644
artificial level in your head of what you

1012
00:36:01,644 --> 00:36:03,565
think other people are doing because that's what

1013
00:36:03,565 --> 00:36:05,085
the picture says or that's what they say

1014
00:36:05,085 --> 00:36:05,744
on the Internet.

1015
00:36:07,005 --> 00:36:09,150
Can we all just, like, go in with

1016
00:36:09,230 --> 00:36:11,389
to any situation where we don't know people

1017
00:36:11,389 --> 00:36:13,230
assuming that what we're seeing is fake? Because

1018
00:36:13,230 --> 00:36:15,710
sometimes it's gonna be. Right? Somebody's gonna say,

1019
00:36:15,710 --> 00:36:17,010
oh my god. Look at this

1020
00:36:17,389 --> 00:36:19,969
bruising. And they've edited their picture.

1021
00:36:20,269 --> 00:36:22,155
Sometimes they're gonna go, oh my god. This

1022
00:36:22,155 --> 00:36:23,914
was the roughest thing I've ever been through.

1023
00:36:23,914 --> 00:36:25,755
And that will be true for them, but

1024
00:36:25,755 --> 00:36:27,355
you don't know what that means for them.

1025
00:36:27,355 --> 00:36:28,875
You know what that means in from your

1026
00:36:28,875 --> 00:36:31,215
perspective. You're thinking, oh my god. The roughest.

1027
00:36:31,355 --> 00:36:32,875
That's that must be this, that, and the

1028
00:36:32,875 --> 00:36:34,235
other. And it could be that that person

1029
00:36:34,235 --> 00:36:36,155
marks real easily so it doesn't take much

1030
00:36:36,155 --> 00:36:36,630
for them.

1031
00:36:37,349 --> 00:36:39,769
Right. Like, you literally don't know. So

1032
00:36:40,630 --> 00:36:43,349
we gotta stop the fucking comparison game because

1033
00:36:43,349 --> 00:36:45,750
it only it hurts everybody. Yeah. It does.

1034
00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:46,949
The thing that makes me feel really good

1035
00:36:46,949 --> 00:36:49,529
about this particular question is the sub going,

1036
00:36:49,589 --> 00:36:51,715
my dom's not trying to pressure me. Yes.

1037
00:36:51,715 --> 00:36:53,494
They want me to have a good time.

1038
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:56,434
Mhmm. So this is about what they think

1039
00:36:56,434 --> 00:36:58,195
is true about being a submissive and what

1040
00:36:58,195 --> 00:36:59,014
they've internalized.

1041
00:36:59,315 --> 00:36:59,815
Mhmm.

1042
00:37:00,195 --> 00:37:00,695
And

1043
00:37:01,554 --> 00:37:02,054
yeah.

1044
00:37:02,355 --> 00:37:04,109
And Silent feels that there's a,

1045
00:37:04,909 --> 00:37:05,409
PDF

1046
00:37:05,789 --> 00:37:08,429
guide in in this whole discussion here. So

1047
00:37:08,989 --> 00:37:09,650
I mean,

1048
00:37:10,029 --> 00:37:11,489
there is. It's on our Etsy

1049
00:37:13,150 --> 00:37:14,690
shop. Link in the places. Okay.

1050
00:37:15,710 --> 00:37:16,609
Next one.

1051
00:37:18,695 --> 00:37:20,934
Okay. I think this one will hit close

1052
00:37:20,934 --> 00:37:22,235
to home for folks. Okay.

1053
00:37:22,775 --> 00:37:25,275
How to deal with a change in dynamics.

1054
00:37:26,375 --> 00:37:27,894
For a while, I was over the moon

1055
00:37:27,894 --> 00:37:29,494
on top of the world, ultra happy. It

1056
00:37:29,494 --> 00:37:30,775
was because I had become a stay at

1057
00:37:30,775 --> 00:37:32,534
home mom, and my sex drive was up

1058
00:37:32,534 --> 00:37:34,640
very high. My day was spent thinking about

1059
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,800
how to please my husband sexually and non

1060
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:37,300
sexually.

1061
00:37:37,599 --> 00:37:40,079
I felt looked after and very satisfied. He

1062
00:37:40,079 --> 00:37:42,180
seemed a bit tired but also the happiest

1063
00:37:42,240 --> 00:37:45,119
he's ever been. Our relationship was hashtag goals.

1064
00:37:45,119 --> 00:37:47,300
Not my words people would actually tell us.

1065
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:49,094
Anyhow, I had to go back to work

1066
00:37:49,094 --> 00:37:51,175
full time and it has completely blown the

1067
00:37:51,175 --> 00:37:53,335
dynamics out of the water. I can't see

1068
00:37:53,335 --> 00:37:55,175
my husband as a sexy dom daddy when

1069
00:37:55,175 --> 00:37:57,494
I'm proving providing just as much as he

1070
00:37:57,494 --> 00:37:59,734
is. I'm always tired and we've gone down

1071
00:37:59,734 --> 00:38:01,655
to having sex only once or twice a

1072
00:38:01,655 --> 00:38:03,750
week. It was once or twice a day

1073
00:38:03,750 --> 00:38:04,489
free use.

1074
00:38:04,789 --> 00:38:06,949
I'm frustrated. It's not his fault. It's not

1075
00:38:06,949 --> 00:38:08,710
my fault. It can't be helped that everything

1076
00:38:08,710 --> 00:38:10,949
is expensive, and I need to work. So

1077
00:38:10,949 --> 00:38:12,869
my question is, can we fix this, or

1078
00:38:12,869 --> 00:38:14,644
do I need to quit work? Okay. Look.

1079
00:38:14,644 --> 00:38:16,644
If you need money to survive, please don't

1080
00:38:16,644 --> 00:38:18,405
quit work. Yeah. I know. The moment you

1081
00:38:18,405 --> 00:38:20,085
can, go for it. I fucking support that

1082
00:38:20,085 --> 00:38:20,585
shit.

1083
00:38:20,964 --> 00:38:22,885
If if you're trying to survive, just go

1084
00:38:22,885 --> 00:38:24,585
your ass to work. Yeah.

1085
00:38:25,045 --> 00:38:27,445
Yeah. But also yeah. It it sucks to

1086
00:38:27,445 --> 00:38:29,284
have had the dynamic. You were like, this

1087
00:38:29,284 --> 00:38:33,019
is it. Mhmm. And then life sucks you

1088
00:38:33,019 --> 00:38:34,860
up. Because your rug pulled out from under

1089
00:38:34,860 --> 00:38:36,079
you. Yeah. Yeah.

1090
00:38:39,260 --> 00:38:40,480
That that's tough.

1091
00:38:40,860 --> 00:38:43,119
I think there there needs to be

1092
00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:46,184
time and space to feel okay with just

1093
00:38:46,184 --> 00:38:46,684
being

1094
00:38:46,984 --> 00:38:49,304
pissed, sad, disappointed, whatever the emotions are. It's

1095
00:38:49,304 --> 00:38:51,545
like yeah. It it's like a grieving. Sure.

1096
00:38:51,545 --> 00:38:52,984
You had a thing you really liked and

1097
00:38:52,984 --> 00:38:54,344
you can't have it right now. And and

1098
00:38:54,344 --> 00:38:57,059
it's it's gone. So, yeah, there there you're

1099
00:38:57,059 --> 00:38:59,480
gonna be going through a grieving process. Absolutely.

1100
00:38:59,780 --> 00:39:00,260
Mhmm.

1101
00:39:00,660 --> 00:39:02,099
The thing is, you're gonna have to come

1102
00:39:02,099 --> 00:39:03,480
out of that, and and

1103
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:05,559
I know it's not easy.

1104
00:39:06,980 --> 00:39:08,199
It it is almost,

1105
00:39:10,260 --> 00:39:12,315
you know, one of those things, you know,

1106
00:39:14,795 --> 00:39:17,355
people don't like the the patience word. No.

1107
00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:20,394
Alright. Well, there's another word that goes with

1108
00:39:20,394 --> 00:39:21,534
it called change.

1109
00:39:22,554 --> 00:39:25,034
Change sucks. Change sucks. I hate it. Change

1110
00:39:25,034 --> 00:39:26,255
sucks, but it happens.

1111
00:39:26,829 --> 00:39:28,589
So, you know, you're you're gonna have to

1112
00:39:28,589 --> 00:39:30,130
go through that grieving process,

1113
00:39:31,630 --> 00:39:33,230
and and when you come out the other

1114
00:39:33,230 --> 00:39:34,929
end of that, you're you're

1115
00:39:35,309 --> 00:39:37,650
both gonna need to sit down and talk.

1116
00:39:37,869 --> 00:39:40,364
Yeah. Because at this point, it's about it's

1117
00:39:40,364 --> 00:39:42,204
you had at what at the time was

1118
00:39:42,204 --> 00:39:43,965
probably your ideal. This was exactly how you

1119
00:39:43,965 --> 00:39:45,485
wanted it to go. You can't life is

1120
00:39:45,485 --> 00:39:47,324
not letting you have that. So now it's

1121
00:39:47,324 --> 00:39:49,485
time to go, what can I not live

1122
00:39:49,485 --> 00:39:51,644
without? Yeah. What is the thing that if

1123
00:39:51,644 --> 00:39:53,965
I can get this Mhmm. I might not

1124
00:39:53,965 --> 00:39:55,885
be the happiest I've ever been, but I

1125
00:39:55,885 --> 00:39:58,660
will be satisfied. There there there's you've you've

1126
00:39:58,660 --> 00:40:01,079
got to find a middle ground. Mhmm.

1127
00:40:01,460 --> 00:40:03,940
Okay? Because yeah. For for the time being,

1128
00:40:03,940 --> 00:40:05,700
the way the way things are with with

1129
00:40:05,700 --> 00:40:07,700
their lives, yeah, they're not gonna have what

1130
00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:09,719
they had. It it's it's just impossible.

1131
00:40:10,425 --> 00:40:11,324
But, you know,

1132
00:40:12,265 --> 00:40:14,344
you gotta find that gotta talk, gotta find

1133
00:40:14,344 --> 00:40:16,985
that middle ground. And and you know what?

1134
00:40:16,985 --> 00:40:18,744
From what you're saying, you know, yeah. You're

1135
00:40:18,744 --> 00:40:20,744
tired. You got this. You got that. Yeah,

1136
00:40:20,744 --> 00:40:21,724
buddy. Life.

1137
00:40:22,105 --> 00:40:23,724
Life. Oh, boy. Life.

1138
00:40:24,989 --> 00:40:26,210
You know? And and

1139
00:40:26,989 --> 00:40:29,010
you're you're probably gonna have to

1140
00:40:30,349 --> 00:40:32,750
adjust and and, you know, several times in

1141
00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:35,389
the process. Oh, yeah. It's a constant influx

1142
00:40:35,389 --> 00:40:37,170
kinda thing, especially as

1143
00:40:37,744 --> 00:40:39,824
life will continue to life at you. Yeah.

1144
00:40:39,824 --> 00:40:41,664
I I I have to do this or

1145
00:40:41,664 --> 00:40:43,824
otherwise, I will run screaming into the night

1146
00:40:43,824 --> 00:40:45,905
and never come back. I have to believe

1147
00:40:45,905 --> 00:40:47,985
it's all ebb and flow. Yeah. And how

1148
00:40:47,985 --> 00:40:49,585
long your ebb is and how long your

1149
00:40:49,585 --> 00:40:50,309
flow is,

1150
00:40:50,869 --> 00:40:53,289
that's pure fucking luck and nobody can predict.

1151
00:40:53,670 --> 00:40:55,590
We are in an ebb of life right

1152
00:40:55,590 --> 00:40:57,670
now. And we hate it and it sucks.

1153
00:40:57,670 --> 00:40:58,170
Yep.

1154
00:40:59,110 --> 00:41:00,329
And some days,

1155
00:41:00,869 --> 00:41:01,610
some weeks,

1156
00:41:02,469 --> 00:41:05,910
we are not our best DSE selves. We

1157
00:41:06,764 --> 00:41:09,005
there have been months where it was not

1158
00:41:09,005 --> 00:41:09,984
peak performance.

1159
00:41:10,525 --> 00:41:11,264
And then

1160
00:41:12,125 --> 00:41:14,444
we have a moment, we get a moment,

1161
00:41:14,444 --> 00:41:16,125
we make a moment, and we come back

1162
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:17,804
to ourselves. And we have a really good

1163
00:41:17,804 --> 00:41:18,605
moment. And what's

1164
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,640
what I'm finally after all these years of

1165
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,039
being pissed off about our the ebb we're

1166
00:41:24,039 --> 00:41:26,440
in right now Yeah. Is that I actually

1167
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:29,000
really appreciate when we come together in those

1168
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:30,599
brief moments. Well, you know what? Because now

1169
00:41:30,599 --> 00:41:32,300
I know what it's like to not get

1170
00:41:33,125 --> 00:41:35,764
hardly anything. Well, you know what? We we

1171
00:41:35,764 --> 00:41:38,184
have entered our our Florida fall,

1172
00:41:39,444 --> 00:41:41,045
and, take me out to the take you

1173
00:41:41,045 --> 00:41:41,944
out to the woodshop.

1174
00:41:42,644 --> 00:41:43,784
I'm a let you.

1175
00:41:44,085 --> 00:41:45,125
I'm a let you. You have to make

1176
00:41:45,125 --> 00:41:46,405
sure the windows are down because the kid's

1177
00:41:46,405 --> 00:41:48,089
home now. He will come running if he

1178
00:41:48,089 --> 00:41:50,250
hears me scream. True. True. Just saying. Or

1179
00:41:50,250 --> 00:41:52,170
I've been guess that's the new challenge. Just

1180
00:41:52,170 --> 00:41:53,949
don't make a sound. Right.

1181
00:41:54,569 --> 00:41:56,489
I'm a little scared of that, but I'm

1182
00:41:56,489 --> 00:41:57,710
I'm game for it.

1183
00:41:58,730 --> 00:41:59,230
So

1184
00:42:00,409 --> 00:42:01,710
the way things were,

1185
00:42:02,184 --> 00:42:03,944
you may never get back to exactly what

1186
00:42:03,944 --> 00:42:06,264
that is, but you eventually may get back

1187
00:42:06,264 --> 00:42:08,444
to some version of that. In the meantime,

1188
00:42:09,545 --> 00:42:10,764
it's about finding

1189
00:42:11,144 --> 00:42:12,764
what can be good enough

1190
00:42:13,065 --> 00:42:14,364
that you can just kinda

1191
00:42:15,050 --> 00:42:17,050
keep things going, knowing that it won't be

1192
00:42:17,050 --> 00:42:18,889
like that every fucking day. It won't be

1193
00:42:18,889 --> 00:42:20,730
like that every week. There will be times

1194
00:42:20,730 --> 00:42:22,730
where you can't do shit. There'll be times

1195
00:42:22,730 --> 00:42:24,329
when you can do more. There'll be times

1196
00:42:24,329 --> 00:42:27,150
when you do some third middle combination,

1197
00:42:27,844 --> 00:42:30,565
and it's imperfect, and it's messy, and sometimes

1198
00:42:30,565 --> 00:42:31,545
it's unpredictable.

1199
00:42:32,324 --> 00:42:32,724
And,

1200
00:42:33,125 --> 00:42:35,065
you're like me and you don't like unpredictability.

1201
00:42:35,684 --> 00:42:38,404
Yeah. That sucks. But it's also kind of

1202
00:42:38,404 --> 00:42:40,244
the Yeah. The nature of things. It's why

1203
00:42:40,829 --> 00:42:43,390
and I, you know, I would never say

1204
00:42:43,390 --> 00:42:44,750
this to somebody going through it, like, to

1205
00:42:44,750 --> 00:42:46,910
their face, like, in a judgy way, because

1206
00:42:46,910 --> 00:42:48,510
that's not what anybody needs in a moment

1207
00:42:48,510 --> 00:42:49,950
like this. But it is why I do

1208
00:42:49,950 --> 00:42:51,570
repeatedly talk about

1209
00:42:52,349 --> 00:42:52,849
the

1210
00:42:53,309 --> 00:42:53,809
reality

1211
00:42:54,430 --> 00:42:57,335
of what power exchange is when the fantasy

1212
00:42:57,335 --> 00:42:58,714
is no longer an option.

1213
00:42:59,014 --> 00:43:01,335
You know, new relationship energy, the peak of

1214
00:43:01,335 --> 00:43:02,074
your negotiation,

1215
00:43:02,534 --> 00:43:05,034
everything's hot and heavy, everything's going well.

1216
00:43:05,894 --> 00:43:08,375
I'm glad for, you know, for anybody who

1217
00:43:08,375 --> 00:43:10,534
gets that experience. But the reality is is

1218
00:43:10,534 --> 00:43:12,199
that reality will come crashing in like the

1219
00:43:12,199 --> 00:43:14,779
Kool Aid man, and you're gonna go,

1220
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:18,119
wait. Alright. This perfect scenario we've been able

1221
00:43:18,119 --> 00:43:19,739
to live in the sort of this honeymoon

1222
00:43:20,359 --> 00:43:21,980
new relationship energy period

1223
00:43:22,679 --> 00:43:24,164
is is not there anymore,

1224
00:43:24,804 --> 00:43:26,485
and it's not working and life won't even

1225
00:43:26,485 --> 00:43:28,644
give us the space to yeah. And that

1226
00:43:28,644 --> 00:43:30,804
is the reality of it. That is for

1227
00:43:30,804 --> 00:43:32,885
some people, they take a complete break from

1228
00:43:32,885 --> 00:43:35,445
things because it's too much or they don't

1229
00:43:35,445 --> 00:43:36,885
want it if they can't have it in

1230
00:43:36,885 --> 00:43:38,085
the exact way they want it. And I

1231
00:43:38,244 --> 00:43:40,750
that's valid and fair. Yeah. Others, and we

1232
00:43:40,750 --> 00:43:43,630
are this way, we just adjust. We just

1233
00:43:43,630 --> 00:43:46,110
find the things that we can hold on

1234
00:43:46,110 --> 00:43:49,090
to as meaningful for our individual kinks selves.

1235
00:43:49,630 --> 00:43:51,410
We find the points of connection

1236
00:43:51,710 --> 00:43:53,855
that are enough for us. They are

1237
00:43:54,235 --> 00:43:56,315
not absolute. They are not peak performance. They

1238
00:43:56,315 --> 00:43:58,815
are not our ideal, but they're enough

1239
00:43:59,434 --> 00:44:01,594
so that we can still, you know, think

1240
00:44:01,594 --> 00:44:03,195
about our dynamic and go, yeah. This is

1241
00:44:03,195 --> 00:44:04,554
where I wanna be, and we're doing what

1242
00:44:04,554 --> 00:44:06,239
I want what we wanna do. Right?

1243
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,039
And then when the sometimes you have to

1244
00:44:09,039 --> 00:44:11,440
make the opportunity and sometimes you get to

1245
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:13,679
come across the opportunity. When the opportunity comes

1246
00:44:13,679 --> 00:44:16,820
up to have something that feels like

1247
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,340
the good old days,

1248
00:44:19,125 --> 00:44:20,724
we grab on with both fucking hands and

1249
00:44:20,724 --> 00:44:22,164
hold on for the ride for as long

1250
00:44:22,164 --> 00:44:24,724
as we have it. Now our current life

1251
00:44:24,724 --> 00:44:27,144
is, like, we get an evening. We get

1252
00:44:27,525 --> 00:44:30,005
we get midnight sex. That was that was

1253
00:44:30,005 --> 00:44:30,905
a good night.

1254
00:44:32,244 --> 00:44:34,019
We get, you know,

1255
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:36,840
10 minutes of the paddle. We like Yeah.

1256
00:44:37,039 --> 00:44:38,800
For us, that works. It won't work for

1257
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:39,300
everybody.

1258
00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:42,000
And that is okay. You know, you have

1259
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:42,579
to find

1260
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,880
what some people are gonna go, I don't

1261
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,039
want I don't want crumbs. I I want

1262
00:44:47,039 --> 00:44:48,980
all or I want none. Cool.

1263
00:44:50,025 --> 00:44:51,864
Fine. You got make sure your partner's on

1264
00:44:51,864 --> 00:44:53,704
board because that's that's gonna be misery for

1265
00:44:53,704 --> 00:44:54,204
somebody.

1266
00:44:54,505 --> 00:44:56,505
Mhmm. But I think the rest of us

1267
00:44:56,505 --> 00:44:58,905
just kinda go, yeah. Yeah. This is this

1268
00:44:58,905 --> 00:45:00,744
is not what I thought I was signing

1269
00:45:00,744 --> 00:45:01,724
up for, but

1270
00:45:02,184 --> 00:45:02,684
but

1271
00:45:03,890 --> 00:45:05,570
I love him as my partner. I want

1272
00:45:05,570 --> 00:45:07,250
him in my life. I want what we

1273
00:45:07,250 --> 00:45:09,570
can have as we have it. I don't

1274
00:45:09,570 --> 00:45:10,869
care that it's not ideal

1275
00:45:11,809 --> 00:45:14,769
because ideal was temporary to begin with. Ideal

1276
00:45:14,769 --> 00:45:17,170
was kind of fake. Ideal for us, our

1277
00:45:17,170 --> 00:45:20,954
ideal amount of fuckery and kinky sex was

1278
00:45:20,954 --> 00:45:22,474
when we were long distance and on those

1279
00:45:22,474 --> 00:45:23,855
weekends we could get together.

1280
00:45:24,234 --> 00:45:25,914
Because it was this one time you could

1281
00:45:25,914 --> 00:45:28,315
kinda go, there are no responsibilities. I've taken

1282
00:45:28,315 --> 00:45:29,994
a week off of work. I'm in a

1283
00:45:29,994 --> 00:45:30,815
different city.

1284
00:45:31,194 --> 00:45:33,355
My real life is not even a factor

1285
00:45:33,355 --> 00:45:36,329
here. Right. And that that that is something

1286
00:45:36,329 --> 00:45:37,150
that until

1287
00:45:37,609 --> 00:45:40,170
we're empty nesters and somehow find that money

1288
00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:40,989
tree in the backyard,

1289
00:45:42,489 --> 00:45:43,929
you know, we might not get again. So

1290
00:45:43,929 --> 00:45:45,769
it's what do we build together? What do

1291
00:45:45,769 --> 00:45:46,989
we have that's solid

1292
00:45:47,289 --> 00:45:48,589
that doesn't need

1293
00:45:49,574 --> 00:45:51,414
some of the outside stuff that's not always

1294
00:45:51,414 --> 00:45:52,954
within our control? Right?

1295
00:45:53,414 --> 00:45:54,315
That that

1296
00:45:54,775 --> 00:45:55,994
is what you know,

1297
00:45:56,454 --> 00:45:58,295
for long term relationships who are trying to

1298
00:45:58,295 --> 00:46:00,155
live it, that's my recommendation.

1299
00:46:00,614 --> 00:46:03,039
It's, you know, if you don't wanna give

1300
00:46:03,039 --> 00:46:05,440
it up completely but you're unhappy with what

1301
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:06,719
you don't have, I think you just make

1302
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:07,619
yourself miserable.

1303
00:46:08,159 --> 00:46:09,539
You gotta find what

1304
00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:11,539
is enough.

1305
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:14,659
Mhmm. Whatever that bare minimum is.

1306
00:46:16,695 --> 00:46:18,795
That's just my thoughts on it.

1307
00:46:19,494 --> 00:46:20,795
Okay. Hold on.

1308
00:46:22,775 --> 00:46:23,275
Okay.

1309
00:46:24,454 --> 00:46:26,155
Here we go. Alright.

1310
00:46:26,614 --> 00:46:27,994
Am I really submissive?

1311
00:46:29,059 --> 00:46:30,980
I'm a newbie submissive for over a year,

1312
00:46:30,980 --> 00:46:33,000
and I've only played with 2 doms casually.

1313
00:46:33,380 --> 00:46:35,460
I realized from this, I want something intimate

1314
00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:36,760
and hopefully long term.

1315
00:46:37,460 --> 00:46:39,539
Last week, I connected with a dom on

1316
00:46:39,539 --> 00:46:42,085
Fett, and we exchanged numbers. He's great and

1317
00:46:42,085 --> 00:46:44,885
very committed to building something long term. He's

1318
00:46:44,885 --> 00:46:46,805
very attentive and eager to find out more

1319
00:46:46,805 --> 00:46:48,485
about me. We're still getting to know one

1320
00:46:48,485 --> 00:46:50,325
another, but we've already made agreements that I

1321
00:46:50,325 --> 00:46:51,065
must fulfill.

1322
00:46:51,525 --> 00:46:53,925
Daily calls, daily pictures, checking in during the

1323
00:46:53,925 --> 00:46:56,349
day. These are not hard tasks at all,

1324
00:46:56,349 --> 00:46:58,510
but I'm a bit disorganized at times and

1325
00:46:58,510 --> 00:47:00,849
have forgotten to do these tasks already.

1326
00:47:01,230 --> 00:47:02,989
He rightfully called me out on these. And

1327
00:47:02,989 --> 00:47:04,909
even though I understand where he's coming from

1328
00:47:04,909 --> 00:47:06,210
and immediately apologized,

1329
00:47:06,605 --> 00:47:08,525
I'm feeling a bit of resistance. I've not

1330
00:47:08,525 --> 00:47:10,364
been in a relationship really so I've never

1331
00:47:10,364 --> 00:47:12,065
had to prioritize like this.

1332
00:47:12,444 --> 00:47:14,444
This made me think that am I really

1333
00:47:14,444 --> 00:47:16,844
submissive in this aspect? He's spoken about how

1334
00:47:16,844 --> 00:47:19,005
he eventually wants a dynamic with a sub

1335
00:47:19,005 --> 00:47:21,869
where there's total power exchange. I've never experienced

1336
00:47:22,030 --> 00:47:23,869
this before and I feel nervous about giving

1337
00:47:23,869 --> 00:47:26,369
myself like this, especially as we're long distance.

1338
00:47:26,670 --> 00:47:28,269
I'm afraid that I'm going to struggle to

1339
00:47:28,269 --> 00:47:29,950
be consistent and I don't want to hurt

1340
00:47:29,950 --> 00:47:32,369
or disappoint him. Am I right for this?

1341
00:47:37,985 --> 00:47:39,684
They've been talking a week.

1342
00:47:40,304 --> 00:47:40,965
I know.

1343
00:47:41,664 --> 00:47:43,824
I know. And this is where we're at.

1344
00:47:43,824 --> 00:47:44,324
Yeah.

1345
00:47:45,505 --> 00:47:46,005
Yeah.

1346
00:47:49,105 --> 00:47:50,005
We're both

1347
00:47:50,465 --> 00:47:53,900
like like your your mom who's your dad

1348
00:47:53,900 --> 00:47:54,719
who's like,

1349
00:47:55,980 --> 00:47:58,139
you're too young for this. Right. Right. Right.

1350
00:47:58,139 --> 00:47:59,819
And the old people are like, what are

1351
00:47:59,819 --> 00:48:00,480
you doing?

1352
00:48:01,420 --> 00:48:03,659
Sorry. We're both speechless because it's like a

1353
00:48:03,659 --> 00:48:05,339
week, and you already got, like, a list

1354
00:48:05,339 --> 00:48:08,375
of things to do. Yeah. And we're talking

1355
00:48:08,375 --> 00:48:10,234
about total power exchange in the future?

1356
00:48:10,695 --> 00:48:12,614
It's been a week. Do you even know

1357
00:48:12,614 --> 00:48:14,315
this person's name yet?

1358
00:48:16,775 --> 00:48:18,295
I don't I do not wanna laugh at

1359
00:48:18,295 --> 00:48:20,214
a newbie's message because it is very easy

1360
00:48:20,214 --> 00:48:22,589
to fall into this. I know. I know.

1361
00:48:23,130 --> 00:48:25,210
But I do not like that after a

1362
00:48:25,210 --> 00:48:27,769
week I know somebody for a week, only

1363
00:48:27,769 --> 00:48:29,769
been doing you know, trying to figure out

1364
00:48:29,769 --> 00:48:31,530
themselves as a submissive for a year. Been

1365
00:48:31,530 --> 00:48:33,369
doing this with this person for a week.

1366
00:48:33,369 --> 00:48:34,994
They've got a list of things they have

1367
00:48:35,075 --> 00:48:36,715
to do every day. I wanna know what

1368
00:48:36,715 --> 00:48:38,135
the dom's doing every day.

1369
00:48:38,675 --> 00:48:41,815
And they're because they can't keep up. Yeah.

1370
00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:43,175
Am I really submissive?

1371
00:48:44,675 --> 00:48:46,914
Well, you know, for for one thing what

1372
00:48:46,914 --> 00:48:48,055
did they say? A year?

1373
00:48:48,355 --> 00:48:50,719
Yeah. They've they've Newbies Newbies for over a

1374
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,359
year. Over a year. And and only played

1375
00:48:53,679 --> 00:48:56,800
The dogs casually. Casually. Right. So So probably

1376
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,679
no power exchange experience Correct. To to speak

1377
00:48:59,679 --> 00:49:00,179
of.

1378
00:49:00,639 --> 00:49:01,244
You know

1379
00:49:04,285 --> 00:49:06,605
That that per that person got some learning

1380
00:49:06,605 --> 00:49:07,265
to do.

1381
00:49:07,805 --> 00:49:10,625
So much learning to do. And see,

1382
00:49:10,925 --> 00:49:13,769
an experienced responsible dom is gonna be like,

1383
00:49:13,769 --> 00:49:15,210
oh, yeah. You're kinda new. You've never done

1384
00:49:15,210 --> 00:49:16,489
power change before. Let's talk about what the

1385
00:49:16,489 --> 00:49:18,170
fuck this even means. Yeah. Let's get to

1386
00:49:18,170 --> 00:49:19,929
know one another. Right. Let's find out what

1387
00:49:19,929 --> 00:49:21,789
the fuck you know. Right.

1388
00:49:22,329 --> 00:49:22,989
You know,

1389
00:49:24,090 --> 00:49:25,769
you know, where are you at with Journeying

1390
00:49:25,769 --> 00:49:27,449
the Bear and where I am? You know,

1391
00:49:27,449 --> 00:49:28,510
are are we

1392
00:49:29,025 --> 00:49:31,025
working towards the same goals to build a

1393
00:49:31,025 --> 00:49:33,065
relationship? Like you enough as a human being

1394
00:49:33,184 --> 00:49:35,105
Yeah. That you get any fucking say over

1395
00:49:35,105 --> 00:49:36,164
my life. Right.

1396
00:49:36,944 --> 00:49:38,944
Am I even invested in this yet? A

1397
00:49:38,944 --> 00:49:40,324
week? A week?

1398
00:49:41,099 --> 00:49:43,260
A week. And, also, somebody mentioned in the

1399
00:49:43,260 --> 00:49:44,860
live chat, and you're damn straight. A week

1400
00:49:44,860 --> 00:49:46,940
is not enough time to change lifetime of

1401
00:49:46,940 --> 00:49:49,840
fucking habits either. And if you're not yet

1402
00:49:49,900 --> 00:49:50,940
invested enough, like

1403
00:49:51,900 --> 00:49:53,180
so I wanna be careful here because I

1404
00:49:53,180 --> 00:49:54,720
don't think this is true for everybody.

1405
00:49:55,099 --> 00:49:57,505
But in my experience, as somebody who

1406
00:49:57,885 --> 00:49:58,385
struggles

1407
00:49:58,765 --> 00:50:01,644
to change routines and to to incorporate new

1408
00:50:01,644 --> 00:50:02,144
habits,

1409
00:50:02,525 --> 00:50:05,105
the more excited I am about it,

1410
00:50:05,485 --> 00:50:07,644
sometimes the easier it is to just start.

1411
00:50:07,644 --> 00:50:10,559
That makes sense. Yeah. But excitement for me

1412
00:50:10,559 --> 00:50:12,500
personally, this will be different for everybody,

1413
00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:14,880
tends to come from the investment from it.

1414
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:15,619
But also,

1415
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,920
there was never a time when we finally

1416
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,239
did start, like, incorporating things Mhmm. That you

1417
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:22,545
were not giving me immediate feedback. Like, there

1418
00:50:22,545 --> 00:50:25,344
was positive reinforcement for anything and everything I

1419
00:50:25,344 --> 00:50:27,184
did, which Yeah. For me personally, because I

1420
00:50:27,184 --> 00:50:28,944
think this is how I'm probably wired, was

1421
00:50:28,944 --> 00:50:30,464
enough of a dopamine hit that I was

1422
00:50:30,464 --> 00:50:31,984
like, I can remember to do that again

1423
00:50:31,984 --> 00:50:33,525
because I get good thing.

1424
00:50:33,984 --> 00:50:35,984
Push, lever, get treat. You know what I

1425
00:50:35,984 --> 00:50:36,885
mean? Like,

1426
00:50:38,059 --> 00:50:38,960
I am trainable.

1427
00:50:40,139 --> 00:50:43,099
But that wasn't the 1st fucking week. No.

1428
00:50:43,099 --> 00:50:45,420
It wasn't. No. It wasn't. Like, that's like,

1429
00:50:45,420 --> 00:50:47,420
I can see somebody getting, like, really excited

1430
00:50:47,420 --> 00:50:49,099
and thinking, oh my god. This person's probably

1431
00:50:49,099 --> 00:50:51,360
amazing from a week of conversation. That's entirely

1432
00:50:51,420 --> 00:50:54,144
possible. I can even see them thinking that

1433
00:50:54,144 --> 00:50:54,644
they

1434
00:50:55,025 --> 00:50:56,944
they want to do this or that they,

1435
00:50:56,944 --> 00:50:59,585
oh, air quote here, should do this or

1436
00:50:59,585 --> 00:51:00,484
ought to do this.

1437
00:51:00,944 --> 00:51:02,085
But I also think,

1438
00:51:03,105 --> 00:51:05,280
you to me, 1st week, you haven't even

1439
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:06,260
fully negotiated

1440
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:08,400
shit yet. We were still getting to know

1441
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:09,619
each other. Thank you.

1442
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:12,559
So, yeah, to go, oh, I couldn't keep

1443
00:51:13,119 --> 00:51:15,059
I wanna know what his his responsibilities

1444
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:15,860
were.

1445
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,000
Because it's one thing, it's easy to give

1446
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,940
a submissive task left, right, and center.

1447
00:51:20,255 --> 00:51:22,015
What the fuck was he doing? What were

1448
00:51:22,015 --> 00:51:23,074
his responsibilities?

1449
00:51:24,815 --> 00:51:26,815
Because if I knew that, I would know

1450
00:51:26,815 --> 00:51:28,815
are we dealing with somebody who just went

1451
00:51:28,815 --> 00:51:30,574
way too fucking fast? They both just went

1452
00:51:30,574 --> 00:51:33,469
too fast, got too excited. That happens. Mhmm.

1453
00:51:33,690 --> 00:51:35,369
Or are we dealing with somebody who went,

1454
00:51:35,369 --> 00:51:37,369
oh, oh, you don't know shit. So I

1455
00:51:37,369 --> 00:51:38,809
can do and say what I want because

1456
00:51:38,809 --> 00:51:40,510
you don't know any better yet.

1457
00:51:40,969 --> 00:51:41,710
And so

1458
00:51:42,090 --> 00:51:43,929
he's supposed to get whatever he wants. What's

1459
00:51:43,929 --> 00:51:44,670
he doing

1460
00:51:45,184 --> 00:51:46,704
as the dom? And and, you know, they

1461
00:51:46,704 --> 00:51:47,844
don't say really

1462
00:51:48,144 --> 00:51:50,644
They do. What experience the dom has.

1463
00:51:52,144 --> 00:51:54,144
And or what the experience the dom said

1464
00:51:54,144 --> 00:51:55,204
they have. Yeah.

1465
00:51:56,065 --> 00:51:58,144
Yeah. But yeah. The I think the rule

1466
00:51:58,144 --> 00:52:00,179
of thumb is, look, if you wanna, like,

1467
00:52:01,139 --> 00:52:03,219
sex, phone sex, whatever the kids do these

1468
00:52:03,219 --> 00:52:04,739
days, I don't know. Do you fuck on

1469
00:52:04,739 --> 00:52:06,739
Zoom? I don't know. If you wanna do

1470
00:52:06,739 --> 00:52:08,659
that after a week, I will never get

1471
00:52:08,659 --> 00:52:11,000
in your fucking way. Get your rocks off.

1472
00:52:11,619 --> 00:52:12,920
But we're talking about a power dynamic with

1473
00:52:13,644 --> 00:52:14,144
dynamic

1474
00:52:14,445 --> 00:52:16,065
with rules and responsibilities

1475
00:52:16,525 --> 00:52:17,184
to follow.

1476
00:52:17,485 --> 00:52:18,224
And potentially,

1477
00:52:19,085 --> 00:52:21,164
they don't say that there's punishment or consequences.

1478
00:52:21,164 --> 00:52:23,485
And I'm grateful because after a fucking week,

1479
00:52:23,485 --> 00:52:25,244
you don't know enough for there to be

1480
00:52:25,244 --> 00:52:26,545
shit going on. But

1481
00:52:27,005 --> 00:52:29,630
it does like, if he's calling them out

1482
00:52:29,630 --> 00:52:31,309
for not having done their thing, there is

1483
00:52:31,309 --> 00:52:33,630
at least that, quote, consequence of the Dom's

1484
00:52:33,630 --> 00:52:35,950
displeasure. Right? That is a consequence all on

1485
00:52:35,950 --> 00:52:36,690
his own.

1486
00:52:37,630 --> 00:52:39,950
No. No. It's it's not been long enough

1487
00:52:39,950 --> 00:52:41,710
for that. Mm-mm. You're not eve you don't

1488
00:52:41,710 --> 00:52:43,724
even you don't even know what you don't

1489
00:52:43,724 --> 00:52:45,644
know yet Right. To be able to go,

1490
00:52:45,644 --> 00:52:46,944
okay. I am ready

1491
00:52:47,484 --> 00:52:50,204
to change my life and fucking habits for

1492
00:52:50,204 --> 00:52:52,065
you to do like

1493
00:52:52,364 --> 00:52:54,924
and also and also, first of all, week?

1494
00:52:54,924 --> 00:52:57,329
No. Too fucking soon. But we start with

1495
00:52:57,329 --> 00:53:00,289
one thing. We change one habit or routine.

1496
00:53:00,289 --> 00:53:02,769
Yeah. We get comfortable with doing one thing,

1497
00:53:02,769 --> 00:53:04,769
especially if we are a person who struggles

1498
00:53:04,769 --> 00:53:06,470
with changing routines and habits.

1499
00:53:06,930 --> 00:53:08,369
You know, it helps if you know yourself

1500
00:53:08,369 --> 00:53:09,945
well enough for that. Not everybody does. Yeah.

1501
00:53:09,945 --> 00:53:11,144
You don't try to do the whole kit

1502
00:53:11,144 --> 00:53:12,825
and caboodle in one week. Because you're setting

1503
00:53:12,825 --> 00:53:14,664
yourself up for failure. And then and then

1504
00:53:14,664 --> 00:53:16,765
is the sub being made to feel guilty

1505
00:53:17,144 --> 00:53:18,425
by the dom? Well, then what the fuck

1506
00:53:18,425 --> 00:53:19,805
does the dom know? Because

1507
00:53:20,585 --> 00:53:21,485
either inexperienced

1508
00:53:22,265 --> 00:53:23,565
or a bullshit artist

1509
00:53:24,309 --> 00:53:26,069
to not realize, oh, this is too much

1510
00:53:26,069 --> 00:53:28,069
too soon. First of all, it's too soon.

1511
00:53:28,069 --> 00:53:30,089
It's too soon. It's a week.

1512
00:53:30,469 --> 00:53:32,650
Right. It's a week. It's a week.

1513
00:53:33,109 --> 00:53:35,349
That's the flirty stage. That's the I'm trying

1514
00:53:35,349 --> 00:53:37,029
to make sure you are who you say

1515
00:53:37,029 --> 00:53:38,089
you are stage.

1516
00:53:38,454 --> 00:53:40,934
That is not the here's 85 rules to

1517
00:53:40,934 --> 00:53:42,214
go follow, but also I'm gonna make you

1518
00:53:42,214 --> 00:53:43,974
feel like shit when you can't do them

1519
00:53:43,974 --> 00:53:45,734
to the point that this person is questioning,

1520
00:53:45,734 --> 00:53:47,355
am I really submissive? No.

1521
00:53:48,214 --> 00:53:50,694
You probably are. You probably are. And in

1522
00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:52,440
the right circumstances with right partner You just

1523
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:54,300
got the wrong you'd be fine.

1524
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:58,300
Yeah. Oh, I'm so tired of shitty

1525
00:53:58,760 --> 00:54:01,960
humans too often men making other people feel

1526
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:02,940
bad about themselves.

1527
00:54:04,679 --> 00:54:06,359
Before I get the comment, hashtag not all

1528
00:54:06,359 --> 00:54:07,260
men. Okay.

1529
00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:09,985
I didn't know that one was gonna make

1530
00:54:09,985 --> 00:54:11,344
me rant. There we go. We are on

1531
00:54:11,344 --> 00:54:12,485
to the last one.

1532
00:54:12,785 --> 00:54:14,545
I don't know if I'm gonna rant, but

1533
00:54:14,545 --> 00:54:15,285
I have

1534
00:54:16,545 --> 00:54:18,164
I have thoughts. Okay.

1535
00:54:19,105 --> 00:54:21,550
Alright. It's the last one. Let's see where

1536
00:54:21,550 --> 00:54:23,050
it takes us. Oh, boy.

1537
00:54:23,510 --> 00:54:24,010
Title,

1538
00:54:24,789 --> 00:54:26,010
submissive women

1539
00:54:26,390 --> 00:54:27,610
with male bosses.

1540
00:54:29,269 --> 00:54:30,329
K. Hello.

1541
00:54:30,710 --> 00:54:32,489
I'm curious to get people's

1542
00:54:32,815 --> 00:54:35,375
perspectives on submissive women with a dom at

1543
00:54:35,375 --> 00:54:37,795
home and a male boss in the workplace.

1544
00:54:38,494 --> 00:54:40,434
Women, how do you compartmentalize

1545
00:54:40,894 --> 00:54:43,715
listening to another man that isn't your dom?

1546
00:54:44,094 --> 00:54:45,315
Men, as protectors,

1547
00:54:45,680 --> 00:54:47,599
how do you feel when your submissive tells

1548
00:54:47,599 --> 00:54:49,440
you that another man spoke to her in

1549
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,019
a tone that you don't appreciate and or

1550
00:54:52,079 --> 00:54:53,700
tells her what to do?

1551
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,320
My partner brought this up to me today

1552
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,160
after her boss spoke to her about time

1553
00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:58,660
management.

1554
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:00,400
She asked if I'd like to know in

1555
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,135
the future if it happens again because she

1556
00:55:02,135 --> 00:55:04,534
knows it upsets me when I'm unable to

1557
00:55:04,534 --> 00:55:05,434
protect her.

1558
00:55:05,815 --> 00:55:07,894
I'm able to separate our personal and professional

1559
00:55:07,894 --> 00:55:10,775
lives, but it's still upsetting to hear. How

1560
00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:13,255
do you both, Dom and Subs, handle something

1561
00:55:13,255 --> 00:55:13,710
like this?

1562
00:55:21,230 --> 00:55:22,909
I feel like that was the sigh of

1563
00:55:22,909 --> 00:55:23,409
judgment,

1564
00:55:24,510 --> 00:55:26,530
and I'm here for it. Yeah.

1565
00:55:27,804 --> 00:55:29,565
Go ahead, daddy. What do you think? Yeah.

1566
00:55:29,565 --> 00:55:30,385
You know what?

1567
00:55:34,364 --> 00:55:35,985
Yeah. A little much there.

1568
00:55:36,684 --> 00:55:37,744
Little much.

1569
00:55:38,605 --> 00:55:40,545
You know what? I I I

1570
00:55:42,869 --> 00:55:43,369
am

1571
00:55:44,069 --> 00:55:47,109
your caregiver, your personal care, your your daddy.

1572
00:55:47,109 --> 00:55:49,190
Okay? And I look out for you. Mhmm.

1573
00:55:49,190 --> 00:55:52,010
Alright? And I do everything in my power

1574
00:55:52,230 --> 00:55:53,909
that I can do to take care of

1575
00:55:53,909 --> 00:55:56,889
you. Alright? Mhmm. But I also know

1576
00:55:58,675 --> 00:56:00,135
that there are certain things

1577
00:56:01,795 --> 00:56:04,194
that I just have absolutely no control over.

1578
00:56:04,194 --> 00:56:05,954
It's not about you. It's not right. It's

1579
00:56:05,954 --> 00:56:08,594
not about power exchange. Right. I mean, just

1580
00:56:08,594 --> 00:56:09,335
like we

1581
00:56:09,714 --> 00:56:10,534
have negotiated

1582
00:56:10,914 --> 00:56:13,030
with Stuff With the Kids. Mhmm.

1583
00:56:13,650 --> 00:56:15,650
Okay? Not part of the power exchange. Right.

1584
00:56:15,650 --> 00:56:18,150
Okay? What what is this guy gonna do?

1585
00:56:18,449 --> 00:56:20,210
Go to her boss? Go to their boss?

1586
00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:21,349
And, you know,

1587
00:56:21,889 --> 00:56:23,889
you shouldn't talk to her like that. Only

1588
00:56:23,889 --> 00:56:25,889
I can do that. I was raised by

1589
00:56:25,889 --> 00:56:27,775
a man that did that. Almost got my

1590
00:56:27,775 --> 00:56:30,494
mother fired, mortified her, and he was not

1591
00:56:30,494 --> 00:56:32,014
allowed to come to her by her, was

1592
00:56:32,014 --> 00:56:33,135
not allowed to come to her place of

1593
00:56:33,135 --> 00:56:35,474
work Yeah. Until she transferred

1594
00:56:35,855 --> 00:56:37,215
the job. So I went to a new

1595
00:56:37,215 --> 00:56:39,389
location because all you do with that is

1596
00:56:40,029 --> 00:56:41,630
it's humiliating, because you used to gotta go

1597
00:56:41,630 --> 00:56:43,230
to work there. Nah. You gonna burn a

1598
00:56:43,230 --> 00:56:44,909
bridge when you quit? I don't I don't

1599
00:56:44,909 --> 00:56:46,909
know what that was different. But yeah. Yeah.

1600
00:56:46,909 --> 00:56:48,829
I was raised by that, so yeah. You

1601
00:56:48,829 --> 00:56:49,650
know, it

1602
00:56:51,984 --> 00:56:54,545
it it's one of those things then at

1603
00:56:54,545 --> 00:56:55,844
that point where,

1604
00:56:56,224 --> 00:56:59,025
you know, this this dominant this protector or

1605
00:56:59,025 --> 00:56:59,764
how, you know

1606
00:57:02,464 --> 00:57:03,840
that that that's kind of like,

1607
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:06,239
you know, when you come to me sometime

1608
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:08,079
and, like, okay. Do you want advice? Do

1609
00:57:08,079 --> 00:57:10,480
you want Right. You know, to vent? You

1610
00:57:10,480 --> 00:57:11,539
know? Okay.

1611
00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:14,320
You know? I can't do anything about this,

1612
00:57:14,320 --> 00:57:16,934
but you can vent to me. Right. Okay?

1613
00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:19,255
Right. Because you you don't have any power

1614
00:57:19,255 --> 00:57:20,715
over what a complete

1615
00:57:21,094 --> 00:57:21,914
third party

1616
00:57:22,215 --> 00:57:23,735
Right. Has said to me, the way they've

1617
00:57:23,735 --> 00:57:26,235
looked at me, the tone they've given, because,

1618
00:57:26,535 --> 00:57:27,195
you know,

1619
00:57:27,494 --> 00:57:29,730
I do not want to be with somebody

1620
00:57:29,730 --> 00:57:31,730
who will whose first because I was raised

1621
00:57:31,730 --> 00:57:33,409
by this. Whose first response is to go,

1622
00:57:33,409 --> 00:57:35,730
you disrespected my woman. I'm a kick your

1623
00:57:35,730 --> 00:57:37,409
ass. That's how you get your ass thrown

1624
00:57:37,409 --> 00:57:38,150
in jail.

1625
00:57:39,250 --> 00:57:41,730
No. No. Nope. We're not doing that. Mm-mm.

1626
00:57:41,730 --> 00:57:42,585
Mm-mm. But yes.

1627
00:57:43,704 --> 00:57:45,244
Yeah. No. So

1628
00:57:46,184 --> 00:57:46,684
so

1629
00:57:47,704 --> 00:57:48,684
first of all,

1630
00:57:49,864 --> 00:57:51,304
somebody pointed out in the livestream, and I

1631
00:57:51,304 --> 00:57:53,545
do kinda get this. It's not about it's

1632
00:57:53,545 --> 00:57:56,920
sometimes tone, the tone somebody uses. Okay. Can

1633
00:57:56,920 --> 00:57:59,800
your boss be a fucking shithead disrespectful thing

1634
00:57:59,800 --> 00:58:01,720
they can talk down? Yeah. Fucking course. Absolutely.

1635
00:58:01,720 --> 00:58:03,239
Because we're adults who live in the adult

1636
00:58:03,239 --> 00:58:05,480
world, and there are way too many bosses

1637
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:06,140
like that.

1638
00:58:06,440 --> 00:58:08,220
If you, the dom partner,

1639
00:58:09,000 --> 00:58:09,820
get pissy

1640
00:58:11,485 --> 00:58:13,644
when your part like, on one level, there's

1641
00:58:13,644 --> 00:58:16,125
this there's this loyalty thing I like. Be

1642
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:17,724
mad on my behalf. Let me come home

1643
00:58:17,724 --> 00:58:20,045
to you, bitch about my network, tell you

1644
00:58:20,045 --> 00:58:21,565
about my shitty boss. I did that when

1645
00:58:21,565 --> 00:58:22,800
we were long distance. I still had a,

1646
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:24,480
like, a a big girl job. And and

1647
00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:26,079
you put up with me when I had

1648
00:58:26,079 --> 00:58:28,000
that shitty boss for a while too. And

1649
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:30,559
we man, I hated everybody you hated in

1650
00:58:30,559 --> 00:58:33,119
your office. I liked everybody you liked. Same.

1651
00:58:33,119 --> 00:58:35,440
Right? We vented to one another. We bitched.

1652
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,440
We're like, fucking hate this. We're like, right?

1653
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,724
Because that that's that's how that goes. Right.

1654
00:58:39,724 --> 00:58:42,364
But this idea that you're so upset in

1655
00:58:42,364 --> 00:58:44,125
whatever way that means, it's not clear here.

1656
00:58:44,125 --> 00:58:46,364
Mhmm. That your partner says, would you prefer

1657
00:58:46,364 --> 00:58:48,364
I just not tell you this stuff so

1658
00:58:48,364 --> 00:58:50,925
as not to upset? What is happening? Yeah.

1659
00:58:50,925 --> 00:58:52,385
First first of all, though,

1660
00:58:53,219 --> 00:58:54,579
here's the thing that really pissed me on

1661
00:58:54,579 --> 00:58:56,579
about this whole thing. It's not the question

1662
00:58:56,579 --> 00:58:58,099
because the question to me on its face

1663
00:58:58,099 --> 00:58:59,940
is fucking ridiculous. Are you living in the

1664
00:58:59,940 --> 00:59:01,239
real world or not?

1665
00:59:01,780 --> 00:59:03,880
The thing that bothers me about this question,

1666
00:59:05,619 --> 00:59:07,159
if the question had been,

1667
00:59:07,724 --> 00:59:09,965
hey, doms, does it bother you when your

1668
00:59:09,965 --> 00:59:12,465
sub of any fucking gender

1669
00:59:13,244 --> 00:59:14,224
goes through this?

1670
00:59:14,525 --> 00:59:16,285
I still wouldn't like the question because, again,

1671
00:59:16,285 --> 00:59:18,605
on its face, it's fucking bullshit. Yeah. But

1672
00:59:18,605 --> 00:59:20,144
why is it submissive women?

1673
00:59:22,610 --> 00:59:24,869
And why is it male bosses? Because submissive

1674
00:59:24,930 --> 00:59:26,869
women have shitty female bosses.

1675
00:59:27,489 --> 00:59:28,469
Mhmm. Okay?

1676
00:59:29,010 --> 00:59:32,050
Male subs have shitty whatever boss. Male subs

1677
00:59:32,050 --> 00:59:34,610
have shitty male bosses. Right. Okay. And it's

1678
00:59:34,610 --> 00:59:36,054
not just like a man woman thing. It's

1679
00:59:36,054 --> 00:59:37,755
a people thing. Right? Sure.

1680
00:59:38,215 --> 00:59:39,594
So that's the like

1681
00:59:39,894 --> 00:59:42,074
like okay. To me, that question

1682
00:59:42,375 --> 00:59:42,875
specifically

1683
00:59:44,454 --> 00:59:44,954
about

1684
00:59:45,574 --> 00:59:47,355
female subs, male doms,

1685
00:59:48,230 --> 00:59:50,230
says more about the person asking the question

1686
00:59:50,230 --> 00:59:51,530
than the question itself.

1687
00:59:52,710 --> 00:59:54,569
Because that is the,

1688
00:59:55,030 --> 00:59:57,030
I'm a big strong man who's out to

1689
00:59:57,030 --> 00:59:58,329
protect my woman.

1690
01:00:00,164 --> 01:00:00,905
And look,

1691
01:00:01,765 --> 01:00:03,605
on one level, I read enough smut. I

1692
01:00:03,605 --> 01:00:05,545
find that very sexy when I'm reading it.

1693
01:00:05,684 --> 01:00:08,244
And when JB gets offended on my behalf

1694
01:00:08,244 --> 01:00:11,364
and would ride to war on my behalf

1695
01:00:11,364 --> 01:00:13,625
if we were not, you know, fucking adults.

1696
01:00:14,660 --> 01:00:16,039
Who don't wanna go to jail.

1697
01:00:16,739 --> 01:00:18,119
I like the idea

1698
01:00:18,420 --> 01:00:20,820
of that because that's a thing that hits

1699
01:00:20,820 --> 01:00:23,700
buttons. Like, there's something wrong with like kinda

1700
01:00:23,700 --> 01:00:25,700
going, oh, let's go on sexy. You'll get

1701
01:00:25,700 --> 01:00:27,940
laid real hard tonight if you tell me

1702
01:00:27,940 --> 01:00:30,394
something like that. There will be a Cool.

1703
01:00:30,454 --> 01:00:30,954
Right?

1704
01:00:35,894 --> 01:00:37,735
But there's something about it, and I don't

1705
01:00:37,894 --> 01:00:40,055
I can't I can't put it into words

1706
01:00:40,055 --> 01:00:41,994
well enough. I can't I'm not

1707
01:00:43,199 --> 01:00:46,159
eloquent enough to say why it bothers me,

1708
01:00:46,159 --> 01:00:47,780
but something about that

1709
01:00:48,079 --> 01:00:49,699
directed to submissive women.

1710
01:00:50,079 --> 01:00:52,179
Because everybody, unless you work for yourself,

1711
01:00:52,559 --> 01:00:54,239
everybody's got a fucking boss. And quite frankly,

1712
01:00:54,239 --> 01:00:55,760
I'm not a boss. It's the tax man

1713
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:57,855
I gotta fucking pay. Like, I you know?

1714
01:00:58,974 --> 01:00:59,474
So

1715
01:01:01,135 --> 01:01:02,734
unless you work for yourself, everybody has a

1716
01:01:02,734 --> 01:01:05,375
boss. Unless you are the billionaire CEO that

1717
01:01:05,375 --> 01:01:07,215
they're writing all that smut about. But most

1718
01:01:07,215 --> 01:01:08,734
of us are not. We all have a

1719
01:01:08,734 --> 01:01:10,380
boss. We all have to deal with it.

1720
01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:14,000
Yeah. Dom, sub, switch, don't fucking matter. So

1721
01:01:15,019 --> 01:01:18,299
why is it about a male dom being

1722
01:01:18,299 --> 01:01:19,440
in some specific

1723
01:01:19,739 --> 01:01:21,599
kind of fury on behalf

1724
01:01:22,139 --> 01:01:24,494
Yeah. Of their females? Like, something about that

1725
01:01:24,735 --> 01:01:27,055
rubs me the wrong way, and I don't

1726
01:01:27,055 --> 01:01:29,215
like it. Now let's just get to the

1727
01:01:29,215 --> 01:01:30,035
actual question.

1728
01:01:31,454 --> 01:01:33,635
If the boss is shitty and they're speaking

1729
01:01:33,695 --> 01:01:34,195
disrespectfully

1730
01:01:34,655 --> 01:01:35,635
to your partner,

1731
01:01:36,414 --> 01:01:38,175
commiserate with your partner, and then what are

1732
01:01:38,175 --> 01:01:39,454
you gonna do to help them find a

1733
01:01:39,454 --> 01:01:40,949
better job, a different job, or something to

1734
01:01:40,949 --> 01:01:42,150
get the fuck away from that? Are you

1735
01:01:42,150 --> 01:01:43,909
gonna, like, talk them through how they talk

1736
01:01:43,909 --> 01:01:45,769
to HR or how they file a report

1737
01:01:45,829 --> 01:01:47,269
or how they fucking quit and they've got

1738
01:01:47,269 --> 01:01:48,710
another like, what are you doing to help

1739
01:01:48,710 --> 01:01:49,289
the situation

1740
01:01:49,670 --> 01:01:52,550
if the boss is truly being shitty? Mhmm.

1741
01:01:52,550 --> 01:01:54,389
But work is work, and power exchange is

1742
01:01:54,389 --> 01:01:55,094
power exchange.

1743
01:01:55,574 --> 01:01:57,255
When I had a big girl job, I

1744
01:01:57,255 --> 01:01:58,934
showed up and my boss was shitty to

1745
01:01:58,934 --> 01:02:00,775
me, but I got my paycheck every week.

1746
01:02:00,775 --> 01:02:03,914
Okay? I went there to exchange my time

1747
01:02:04,215 --> 01:02:07,255
in exchange for money. So therefore, it's not

1748
01:02:07,255 --> 01:02:08,155
a power dynamic.

1749
01:02:08,579 --> 01:02:08,820
Shitty

1750
01:02:09,380 --> 01:02:11,219
I had plenty of shitty bosses in that

1751
01:02:11,219 --> 01:02:11,719
job.

1752
01:02:12,260 --> 01:02:14,900
And sometimes they were shitty and it sucked

1753
01:02:14,900 --> 01:02:16,420
and I was like, I need a margarita

1754
01:02:16,420 --> 01:02:18,500
tonight. And sometimes they were not shitty. And

1755
01:02:18,500 --> 01:02:20,900
it didn't fucking matter. I was hired to

1756
01:02:20,900 --> 01:02:23,734
do a job that I got paid for.

1757
01:02:24,034 --> 01:02:25,714
If it got when it did get bad

1758
01:02:25,714 --> 01:02:29,074
enough, I fucking left. It doesn't it's not

1759
01:02:29,074 --> 01:02:30,054
power exchange.

1760
01:02:30,755 --> 01:02:33,074
My boss speaking to me is not on

1761
01:02:33,074 --> 01:02:35,094
the level of my dom speaking to me.

1762
01:02:35,489 --> 01:02:38,929
Not not at all. Not at all. Now

1763
01:02:39,010 --> 01:02:41,010
when I was a repressed submissive who did

1764
01:02:41,010 --> 01:02:42,690
not know anything about kink and did not

1765
01:02:42,690 --> 01:02:45,349
know I was submissive but just loved authority,

1766
01:02:45,889 --> 01:02:46,789
did I

1767
01:02:47,170 --> 01:02:48,789
give a little bit too much

1768
01:02:49,489 --> 01:02:50,309
of myself

1769
01:02:51,485 --> 01:02:53,025
in as an employee

1770
01:02:54,605 --> 01:02:56,364
to a boss that did not deserve it?

1771
01:02:56,364 --> 01:02:58,204
Absolutely. Because apparently I was looking to scratch

1772
01:02:58,204 --> 01:02:59,965
an itch I didn't know I had, but

1773
01:02:59,965 --> 01:03:02,305
I like to be of service. I like

1774
01:03:02,765 --> 01:03:04,045
to be the good girl even if that

1775
01:03:04,045 --> 01:03:06,045
would be completely inappropriate at work to be

1776
01:03:06,045 --> 01:03:07,720
called that. But you know what that vibe

1777
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:09,559
is. Right? When you've made them happy, when

1778
01:03:09,559 --> 01:03:11,559
you've done the thing and they're pleasantly surprised

1779
01:03:11,559 --> 01:03:13,000
with you. And they tell you, hey. You

1780
01:03:13,000 --> 01:03:14,140
did a great job,

1781
01:03:14,440 --> 01:03:15,500
name of employee.

1782
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:17,980
Like, I was chasing that feeling

1783
01:03:19,605 --> 01:03:21,945
incorrectly. Didn't know I was chasing the feeling.

1784
01:03:22,724 --> 01:03:24,885
Figure it out with power exchange. But they

1785
01:03:24,885 --> 01:03:26,585
are 2 complete like,

1786
01:03:27,125 --> 01:03:30,105
there is a power dynamic between employer employee.

1787
01:03:30,244 --> 01:03:30,744
Absolutely.

1788
01:03:31,289 --> 01:03:32,190
But it is

1789
01:03:32,489 --> 01:03:34,410
not the same. It it's not the same

1790
01:03:34,410 --> 01:03:36,349
as as a as a no.

1791
01:03:36,650 --> 01:03:38,809
It is not. As a lifestyle dynamic. It

1792
01:03:38,809 --> 01:03:40,110
is not. It is not.

1793
01:03:42,010 --> 01:03:44,444
But, also, I'm still annoyed

1794
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:47,784
that it's the female submissives that the male

1795
01:03:47,784 --> 01:03:49,644
doms need to be protective of.

1796
01:03:50,585 --> 01:03:52,744
Look. I am a female submissive and I

1797
01:03:52,744 --> 01:03:54,905
am more protective of my daddy dom than

1798
01:03:54,905 --> 01:03:58,184
he is probably healthy. Okay? We I will

1799
01:03:58,184 --> 01:03:59,005
go to battle.

1800
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:00,800
I don't wanna talk to no damn buddy,

1801
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:02,320
but if you are mean to my daddy,

1802
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,079
I can find the words to say what

1803
01:04:04,079 --> 01:04:05,539
I need to say. Okay?

1804
01:04:07,840 --> 01:04:09,440
That's a partner thing. It has nothing to

1805
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,119
do with his gender. Certainly has nothing to

1806
01:04:11,119 --> 01:04:12,019
do with his role

1807
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:12,980
because

1808
01:04:13,545 --> 01:04:15,944
him being dominant does not immediately make him

1809
01:04:15,944 --> 01:04:16,444
somehow

1810
01:04:17,065 --> 01:04:17,565
superior,

1811
01:04:18,105 --> 01:04:20,744
does not immediately like, we protect the fucking

1812
01:04:20,744 --> 01:04:23,244
one another Yeah. Because it's a relationship.

1813
01:04:24,105 --> 01:04:26,449
Mhmm. I just I don't like it. I

1814
01:04:26,449 --> 01:04:29,009
don't like it. No. I agree. Somebody out

1815
01:04:29,009 --> 01:04:30,369
there is gonna tell me how they think

1816
01:04:30,369 --> 01:04:32,529
I'm wrong. That's been happening a lot lately,

1817
01:04:32,529 --> 01:04:34,769
so I'm a little sensitive to it. I

1818
01:04:34,769 --> 01:04:36,389
know I actually give a fuck, but still,

1819
01:04:36,849 --> 01:04:39,009
I just don't like that question. I'm really

1820
01:04:39,009 --> 01:04:42,255
pissed. Like, there's the whole power exchange compared

1821
01:04:42,255 --> 01:04:44,255
to job thing. I I don't like, I

1822
01:04:44,255 --> 01:04:45,714
kinda just roll my eyes at.

1823
01:04:46,574 --> 01:04:48,094
But I would take that I would take

1824
01:04:48,094 --> 01:04:49,534
that question in good faith if we were

1825
01:04:49,534 --> 01:04:52,255
not specifically talking about Yeah. Male bosses and

1826
01:04:52,255 --> 01:04:54,014
women. It's like, oh, well, the only person

1827
01:04:54,014 --> 01:04:55,694
who's allowed to talk down to my female

1828
01:04:55,694 --> 01:04:58,920
submissive is me. Okay. We'll just, like, negotiate

1829
01:04:59,059 --> 01:05:01,780
that. That's fine. Mhmm. But what? Somebody somebody

1830
01:05:01,780 --> 01:05:03,720
said in the in the, live chat

1831
01:05:04,500 --> 01:05:05,960
pretty straight up

1832
01:05:06,500 --> 01:05:08,360
what are we talking about? Cavemen here?

1833
01:05:08,660 --> 01:05:10,519
Right. That's what it feels like.

1834
01:05:10,980 --> 01:05:11,720
That is

1835
01:05:12,525 --> 01:05:13,424
it's what it

1836
01:05:13,724 --> 01:05:14,704
feels like.

1837
01:05:15,085 --> 01:05:17,164
And, yes, it is misogyny. And I think

1838
01:05:17,164 --> 01:05:18,844
that's the thing that really pisses me off

1839
01:05:18,844 --> 01:05:21,105
because we don't we don't care

1840
01:05:21,964 --> 01:05:24,125
about any other kind of of being treated

1841
01:05:24,125 --> 01:05:25,980
like shit by a boss. Potentially, we don't

1842
01:05:25,980 --> 01:05:27,420
even know. The boss coulda just been like,

1843
01:05:27,420 --> 01:05:29,340
hey. You've been late, like, every day for

1844
01:05:29,340 --> 01:05:31,599
the past week. What what's going on? Like,

1845
01:05:31,660 --> 01:05:33,679
that's not acceptable. We can't do that here.

1846
01:05:34,059 --> 01:05:35,820
And I wish we had those details because

1847
01:05:35,820 --> 01:05:36,880
I would be more judgmental

1848
01:05:37,900 --> 01:05:39,039
if it was a completely

1849
01:05:40,244 --> 01:05:42,724
typical, like, expectation of a boss to an

1850
01:05:42,724 --> 01:05:44,964
employee. Like, who are you protecting from like,

1851
01:05:44,964 --> 01:05:46,324
what are you trying to prove? Who do

1852
01:05:46,324 --> 01:05:47,605
you and who do you need to prove

1853
01:05:47,605 --> 01:05:49,284
it to? Are we proving it to ourselves

1854
01:05:49,284 --> 01:05:50,804
that we are the big bad man who

1855
01:05:50,804 --> 01:05:52,404
can take care of our little females and

1856
01:05:52,404 --> 01:05:54,324
business? Because they're so weak, and they can't

1857
01:05:54,324 --> 01:05:55,760
do it without me. Like,

1858
01:05:56,059 --> 01:05:56,880
I hate it.

1859
01:05:58,140 --> 01:05:58,640
Anyway,

1860
01:06:00,860 --> 01:06:01,360
anyway,

1861
01:06:02,539 --> 01:06:04,059
I don't like that one, but that was

1862
01:06:04,059 --> 01:06:05,360
our last question.

1863
01:06:05,820 --> 01:06:07,659
I I tried to warn everybody. It was

1864
01:06:07,659 --> 01:06:08,239
a doozy.

1865
01:06:08,775 --> 01:06:10,554
And I didn't quite I just

1866
01:06:13,174 --> 01:06:14,954
no. I don't like it.

1867
01:06:15,974 --> 01:06:17,355
So that was our BDSMeredith

1868
01:06:17,974 --> 01:06:18,474
response.

1869
01:06:19,894 --> 01:06:20,394
I

1870
01:06:20,940 --> 01:06:22,880
should not have worn a hoodie

1871
01:06:23,179 --> 01:06:24,940
while doing this episode. I have Kinda got

1872
01:06:24,940 --> 01:06:26,619
the blood pressure up a bit. Didn't you

1873
01:06:26,619 --> 01:06:28,380
shoot your faces red and, you know And

1874
01:06:28,380 --> 01:06:29,980
I can't take the hoodie off. It's just

1875
01:06:29,980 --> 01:06:31,920
a sports bra on under here, y'all.

1876
01:06:33,099 --> 01:06:35,515
Right? I'm enough of an exhibitionist that if

1877
01:06:35,515 --> 01:06:37,434
you like the thought of that, I love

1878
01:06:37,434 --> 01:06:40,074
it, quite frankly. That's awesome. If you don't,

1879
01:06:40,074 --> 01:06:41,195
don't worry about it. I'm gonna take my

1880
01:06:41,195 --> 01:06:42,235
shirt off. You don't have to worry about

1881
01:06:42,235 --> 01:06:42,735
anything.

1882
01:06:43,675 --> 01:06:44,414
So yeah.

1883
01:06:45,035 --> 01:06:46,875
This was chaotic in the best way, I

1884
01:06:46,875 --> 01:06:47,375
think.

1885
01:06:51,480 --> 01:06:53,579
We're back, we think. Mhmm.

1886
01:06:56,039 --> 01:06:58,440
And thank you to Fluor for sponsoring this

1887
01:06:58,440 --> 01:06:58,940
stuff.

1888
01:07:03,425 --> 01:07:05,425
If you would like to find somebody who's

1889
01:07:05,425 --> 01:07:07,265
actually a good partner for you and not

1890
01:07:07,265 --> 01:07:09,585
some of these strays, we clearly are picking

1891
01:07:09,585 --> 01:07:11,045
up off the side of the road somewhere.

1892
01:07:12,625 --> 01:07:15,105
Consider floor as your possible dating app. Link

1893
01:07:15,105 --> 01:07:17,204
in the places. Okay. Okay.

1894
01:07:17,589 --> 01:07:18,089
Okay.

1895
01:07:19,989 --> 01:07:21,050
Oh my god.

1896
01:07:21,750 --> 01:07:22,069
So,

1897
01:07:23,750 --> 01:07:26,069
are we good? I don't know. I don't

1898
01:07:26,069 --> 01:07:28,250
know. I'm I'm pretty sure,

1899
01:07:29,829 --> 01:07:31,510
the answer to that is no, but we'll

1900
01:07:31,510 --> 01:07:33,405
go with it. It's fine. Okay. Alright.

1901
01:07:34,585 --> 01:07:37,065
Keep the kinky, y'all. We'll see you Friday

1902
01:07:37,065 --> 01:07:38,605
night if you come to our livestream.

1903
01:07:47,980 --> 01:07:48,480
Daddy.

1904
01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:51,119
Yes, baby. Can we talk to the crickets?

1905
01:07:51,340 --> 01:07:53,360
I I think you can. Okay.

1906
01:07:55,500 --> 01:07:57,340
I I need to go refresh. Yeah. I

1907
01:07:57,340 --> 01:07:58,700
bet you do. I got so caught up.

1908
01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:00,619
I didn't for once, did not finish my

1909
01:08:00,619 --> 01:08:01,119
drink

1910
01:08:02,234 --> 01:08:03,614
before the episode ended.

1911
01:08:04,394 --> 01:08:04,894
Oh

1912
01:08:05,755 --> 01:08:06,255
gosh.

1913
01:08:07,755 --> 01:08:10,174
Okay. We're here. It's bonus section time.

1914
01:08:10,554 --> 01:08:11,914
Let's see if we can get you caught

1915
01:08:11,914 --> 01:08:12,414
up.

1916
01:08:13,275 --> 01:08:14,795
We tried to put it all over social

1917
01:08:14,795 --> 01:08:16,234
media and I told myself I would send

1918
01:08:16,234 --> 01:08:18,039
out a newsletter last Friday. I did not

1919
01:08:18,039 --> 01:08:19,659
send out a newsletter last Friday.

1920
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:22,699
We were very, very fortunate,

1921
01:08:23,880 --> 01:08:24,699
with Milton.

1922
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:27,400
We didn't even lose power, y'all. We were

1923
01:08:27,400 --> 01:08:29,079
very lucky, and we know we were very

1924
01:08:29,079 --> 01:08:31,444
lucky. Other parts of our county, like, lost

1925
01:08:31,444 --> 01:08:33,765
power for a couple of days. We just

1926
01:08:33,765 --> 01:08:35,305
had a couple of flickers. We were fine.

1927
01:08:36,324 --> 01:08:38,185
The wind howled though.

1928
01:08:38,564 --> 01:08:40,324
We knew it was coming, you know, it

1929
01:08:40,324 --> 01:08:42,564
was gonna hit at night. So we JB

1930
01:08:42,564 --> 01:08:44,030
and I both just went, we we're not

1931
01:08:44,030 --> 01:08:46,590
gonna go to bed. Well, it sounds like

1932
01:08:46,590 --> 01:08:47,650
there's, you know,

1933
01:08:48,510 --> 01:08:50,829
ghouls howling in our tree, so we'll just

1934
01:08:50,829 --> 01:08:52,510
stay up. So we stayed up. We were

1935
01:08:52,510 --> 01:08:53,869
like, as long as we have power, we'll

1936
01:08:53,869 --> 01:08:55,470
just, you know, watch TV or read our

1937
01:08:55,470 --> 01:08:56,610
book or whatever whatever.

1938
01:08:57,784 --> 01:08:59,965
We both, I think, dozed off around

1939
01:09:00,585 --> 01:09:01,085
midnight.

1940
01:09:01,864 --> 01:09:04,185
Yeah. And then I woke up at 1

1941
01:09:04,185 --> 01:09:05,244
AM because

1942
01:09:06,024 --> 01:09:07,564
the wind was so bad.

1943
01:09:07,945 --> 01:09:09,465
It it was just a gust, but it

1944
01:09:09,465 --> 01:09:11,670
was a big enough gust that I came

1945
01:09:11,750 --> 01:09:13,369
straight out of my sleep.

1946
01:09:13,829 --> 01:09:15,750
Realized that JB was sleeping and went, well,

1947
01:09:15,750 --> 01:09:17,510
I guess I can never sleep again because

1948
01:09:17,510 --> 01:09:19,510
somebody has to be on high alert. We

1949
01:09:19,510 --> 01:09:20,949
did not need to be on high alert,

1950
01:09:20,949 --> 01:09:23,029
but tell that to my anxiety. Yeah. And

1951
01:09:23,029 --> 01:09:24,949
then I fell back asleep at, like, 3,

1952
01:09:24,949 --> 01:09:25,449
3:30.

1953
01:09:25,829 --> 01:09:27,614
And we crawled into bed at 4:30,

1954
01:09:28,795 --> 01:09:31,435
very happy that we came through unscathed. And

1955
01:09:31,435 --> 01:09:33,854
we that we know that is not true.

1956
01:09:34,635 --> 01:09:36,795
Not only just people we know, but, you

1957
01:09:36,795 --> 01:09:39,375
know, JB lived in the Tampa Bay area.

1958
01:09:40,090 --> 01:09:40,590
For

1959
01:09:40,970 --> 01:09:42,189
30 plus years.

1960
01:09:42,810 --> 01:09:43,310
So

1961
01:09:43,770 --> 01:09:46,590
stuff that he's very familiar with is basically

1962
01:09:46,729 --> 01:09:47,229
underwater.

1963
01:09:47,689 --> 01:09:50,170
It it's it's it's been tough. I I

1964
01:09:50,170 --> 01:09:52,010
have not been able to look at a

1965
01:09:52,010 --> 01:09:52,909
lot of the pictures,

1966
01:09:57,274 --> 01:10:00,734
because seeing areas that I've I've known for,

1967
01:10:00,875 --> 01:10:02,554
you know, like you said, yeah, 30 plus

1968
01:10:02,554 --> 01:10:03,935
years and more,

1969
01:10:04,314 --> 01:10:06,635
you know, and and and places that I've

1970
01:10:06,635 --> 01:10:07,694
gone and and,

1971
01:10:08,314 --> 01:10:09,694
you know, hung out at,

1972
01:10:10,539 --> 01:10:11,039
just

1973
01:10:11,579 --> 01:10:12,719
Just gone? Gone.

1974
01:10:13,100 --> 01:10:13,600
Gone.

1975
01:10:14,140 --> 01:10:16,060
Yeah. This was a double whammy from Helene

1976
01:10:16,060 --> 01:10:16,719
to Milton.

1977
01:10:17,020 --> 01:10:20,560
And, I mean, Helene's damage Yeah. Stretched beyond,

1978
01:10:21,179 --> 01:10:23,454
but Milton just hammered an area that was

1979
01:10:23,454 --> 01:10:25,215
already And and, you know, that that was

1980
01:10:25,215 --> 01:10:27,715
the worst part about the Tampa Bay area.

1981
01:10:29,055 --> 01:10:31,235
They hadn't even cleaned up from Helene.

1982
01:10:32,574 --> 01:10:34,354
You know, you Not even close.

1983
01:10:35,775 --> 01:10:36,755
The day before

1984
01:10:37,640 --> 01:10:39,720
Milton, they were showing pictures. You know, the

1985
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:43,260
neighborhoods in in Pinellas County, in Hillsborough, Pasco,

1986
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:45,720
you know, trash just piled up in the

1987
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:47,640
yards, you know, waiting to be picked up.

1988
01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:48,140
And

1989
01:10:49,399 --> 01:10:51,820
no. It it it was it was terrible.

1990
01:10:52,439 --> 01:10:52,965
You know, I

1991
01:10:53,925 --> 01:10:54,505
I I

1992
01:10:55,125 --> 01:10:57,125
contacted one friend of ours, and,

1993
01:10:58,005 --> 01:10:59,064
they evacuated.

1994
01:11:00,965 --> 01:11:04,744
You know, most people did. Thankfully. Thankfully. Yeah.

1995
01:11:04,804 --> 01:11:07,064
Yeah. Yeah. You know? And and

1996
01:11:07,699 --> 01:11:09,220
when all was said and done, Tampa Bay

1997
01:11:09,220 --> 01:11:11,720
didn't even get a direct hit. No. No.

1998
01:11:11,780 --> 01:11:14,500
You know, I No. They, you know, the

1999
01:11:14,500 --> 01:11:17,300
the eye landed in Sarasota and that they

2000
01:11:17,300 --> 01:11:17,800
had

2001
01:11:18,579 --> 01:11:19,399
Poor Sarasota.

2002
01:11:19,699 --> 01:11:21,479
Yeah. Yeah. That was crazy.

2003
01:11:22,420 --> 01:11:24,395
They they don't have it any better down

2004
01:11:24,395 --> 01:11:26,395
there either. Basically, the West Coast is fucked

2005
01:11:26,395 --> 01:11:29,375
right now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, essentially. Mhmm.

2006
01:11:29,595 --> 01:11:30,235
So what we

2007
01:11:30,954 --> 01:11:33,354
the next we slept for a few hours,

2008
01:11:33,354 --> 01:11:35,275
went to bed at 4:30, did not sleep

2009
01:11:35,275 --> 01:11:36,494
for very long. Mm-mm.

2010
01:11:37,199 --> 01:11:38,880
Mm-mm. Jimmy basically just went and cleaned up

2011
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:40,640
the yard. I kept going, is there anything

2012
01:11:40,640 --> 01:11:42,500
I can do to help? He's like, nope.

2013
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:45,600
I think I might have had some of

2014
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:46,720
this. You asked me about this, and I

2015
01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:47,920
was like, no. I don't think so. And

2016
01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:49,539
you had said you did. But, basically,

2017
01:11:50,239 --> 01:11:52,739
it was like we had drop afterwards.

2018
01:11:53,255 --> 01:11:55,594
Yeah. And, it makes sense, like, from

2019
01:11:56,054 --> 01:11:58,154
my limited understanding of, like, science

2020
01:11:58,614 --> 01:12:01,175
because the emotions were heightened. We were in

2021
01:12:01,175 --> 01:12:03,914
this super crazy anxious period,

2022
01:12:04,295 --> 01:12:06,215
and then we sat out we rode out

2023
01:12:06,215 --> 01:12:09,430
the storm in in absolute safety, like, complete

2024
01:12:09,430 --> 01:12:11,590
safety, but that doesn't like, it's a buildup,

2025
01:12:11,590 --> 01:12:13,189
and then you're, like, nervous, and you don't

2026
01:12:13,189 --> 01:12:15,189
know what's gonna happen. And then you come

2027
01:12:15,189 --> 01:12:18,070
down from it, and Mhmm. Even though we're

2028
01:12:18,070 --> 01:12:20,324
so lucky You know, the the thing there's

2029
01:12:20,324 --> 01:12:22,158
the low The thing the thing was that

2030
01:12:22,158 --> 01:12:23,765
that hit us, and this is how I

2031
01:12:23,765 --> 01:12:26,164
I kind of put it that way, you

2032
01:12:26,164 --> 01:12:28,104
know, it it first came

2033
01:12:28,565 --> 01:12:32,244
to mainstream news probably around Monday of last

2034
01:12:32,244 --> 01:12:32,744
week.

2035
01:12:33,320 --> 01:12:34,680
You know? And they said it was a

2036
01:12:34,680 --> 01:12:37,000
very fast moving storm. Right. It was gonna

2037
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:39,739
be, you know, Tuesday night into Wednesday. Mhmm.

2038
01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:40,280
And,

2039
01:12:41,320 --> 01:12:41,980
you know,

2040
01:12:43,560 --> 01:12:44,699
started getting ready.

2041
01:12:45,525 --> 01:12:47,125
And and then they pushed it back a

2042
01:12:47,125 --> 01:12:48,485
little bit, and then, you know, a little

2043
01:12:48,485 --> 01:12:50,485
bit more. The storm slowed down. It's getting

2044
01:12:50,485 --> 01:12:52,164
stronger and, you know, pushed it back a

2045
01:12:52,164 --> 01:12:54,085
little bit more. And it it was just

2046
01:12:54,085 --> 01:12:56,164
like this hurry up Yeah. And wait. And

2047
01:12:56,164 --> 01:12:57,385
what's it gonna do?

2048
01:12:57,840 --> 01:13:00,640
And, you know, we were concerned because if

2049
01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:01,539
it had hit

2050
01:13:02,079 --> 01:13:04,560
Tampa Bay directly on, we probably would have

2051
01:13:04,560 --> 01:13:06,440
had We'd have worse winds from the store.

2052
01:13:06,640 --> 01:13:07,380
Worse winds.

2053
01:13:08,079 --> 01:13:10,320
You know, thankfully for us, that didn't happen.

2054
01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:10,820
Mhmm.

2055
01:13:11,625 --> 01:13:13,145
So, you know, we we came out of

2056
01:13:13,145 --> 01:13:13,965
it fine.

2057
01:13:15,064 --> 01:13:17,404
You know, but, yeah, tamp Tampa Bay got

2058
01:13:17,545 --> 01:13:18,364
got hit.

2059
01:13:18,904 --> 01:13:20,984
So after the storm, we basically crashed. Yeah.

2060
01:13:20,984 --> 01:13:22,585
And we kept going, we're gonna do stuff,

2061
01:13:22,585 --> 01:13:24,345
and then we did not have the energy

2062
01:13:24,345 --> 01:13:26,529
to do stuff. No. So we come out

2063
01:13:26,529 --> 01:13:28,689
of this weekend, I think, feeling, you know,

2064
01:13:28,689 --> 01:13:29,189
better

2065
01:13:30,210 --> 01:13:32,449
ish, you know. Mhmm. Kinda getting back to

2066
01:13:32,449 --> 01:13:33,989
normal, ready to get back to normal.

2067
01:13:35,489 --> 01:13:37,489
And then, you know, I keep saying, I

2068
01:13:37,489 --> 01:13:39,215
think I found the straw that broke the

2069
01:13:39,215 --> 01:13:40,994
camel's back. And then another straw

2070
01:13:41,295 --> 01:13:41,795
happens.

2071
01:13:42,255 --> 01:13:42,755
So

2072
01:13:43,375 --> 01:13:44,974
we are fine. When we say this, we're

2073
01:13:44,974 --> 01:13:48,734
just tense and stressed. Yeah. Our dishwasher has

2074
01:13:48,734 --> 01:13:50,435
not been cleaning properly

2075
01:13:51,270 --> 01:13:53,510
that we've noticed for over a week. Yeah.

2076
01:13:53,510 --> 01:13:55,510
Okay? It probably has been going on longer,

2077
01:13:55,510 --> 01:13:57,829
but it was visible for about a week.

2078
01:13:57,829 --> 01:13:59,270
So we're like, oh, it's been a hot

2079
01:13:59,270 --> 01:14:01,109
minute since we cleaned it real good. Let's

2080
01:14:01,109 --> 01:14:03,590
check filters. Let's like, we know how to

2081
01:14:03,590 --> 01:14:05,189
take care of our dishwasher. So we're like,

2082
01:14:05,189 --> 01:14:06,925
oh, we we would like to I went

2083
01:14:06,925 --> 01:14:09,604
through. I yeah. I pulled everything apart, cleaned

2084
01:14:09,725 --> 01:14:11,645
made sure the filters were all clean. The

2085
01:14:11,645 --> 01:14:15,484
drain was open. Right. We popped. Vinegarin and,

2086
01:14:15,484 --> 01:14:17,085
you know, several things we read said if

2087
01:14:17,085 --> 01:14:18,925
the because we have hard water. Hard water.

2088
01:14:18,925 --> 01:14:20,204
If you have a big buildup, let the

2089
01:14:20,204 --> 01:14:22,320
vinegar sit for a while before okay. We

2090
01:14:22,320 --> 01:14:24,100
went and made sure we got more dishwasher

2091
01:14:24,239 --> 01:14:25,600
cleaner because we hadn't had that for a

2092
01:14:25,600 --> 01:14:27,600
few months. Fine. So we let it sit

2093
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:29,119
for a couple of days. We don't touch

2094
01:14:29,119 --> 01:14:31,119
our dishwasher. We actually let the dishwasher sit

2095
01:14:31,119 --> 01:14:32,420
for several days. Yeah.

2096
01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:34,560
And then we're like, okay. Let's run a

2097
01:14:34,560 --> 01:14:35,060
load

2098
01:14:35,404 --> 01:14:36,925
with to get the vinegar that was in

2099
01:14:36,925 --> 01:14:38,925
there. Right. And then we ran another load

2100
01:14:39,085 --> 01:14:41,805
With the with the dishwasher cleaner. Thinking, okay.

2101
01:14:41,805 --> 01:14:43,585
And the inside of our dishwasher

2102
01:14:43,965 --> 01:14:44,784
is spotless

2103
01:14:45,164 --> 01:14:45,664
now.

2104
01:14:46,204 --> 01:14:47,805
We woke up. And we did that at

2105
01:14:47,805 --> 01:14:49,739
night before we went to bed. Monday night.

2106
01:14:49,820 --> 01:14:51,760
Yeah. Tuesday morning, we wake up.

2107
01:14:52,619 --> 01:14:54,780
Yeah. Like, why is it wet over here?

2108
01:14:54,780 --> 01:14:56,460
Why is it when I step down on

2109
01:14:56,460 --> 01:14:58,940
this part in the dining room, which is

2110
01:14:58,940 --> 01:15:02,060
adjacent to our kitchen Mhmm. Water squeeges up

2111
01:15:02,060 --> 01:15:04,880
from the hardwood floor. From the hardwood floor.

2112
01:15:05,100 --> 01:15:07,635
Why is under the the mat we have

2113
01:15:07,635 --> 01:15:09,175
in front of the kitchen sink

2114
01:15:09,554 --> 01:15:11,074
that we stand on, like, a comfort mat

2115
01:15:11,074 --> 01:15:13,014
thing? Why is it wet underneath?

2116
01:15:13,395 --> 01:15:15,074
Yeah. So then, of course, you have to

2117
01:15:15,074 --> 01:15:16,854
go on the great hunt for the leak.

2118
01:15:17,074 --> 01:15:20,189
Mhmm. Pulled the refrigerator out, tested the water.

2119
01:15:20,189 --> 01:15:21,789
I we're like, I'll get water. I'll do

2120
01:15:21,789 --> 01:15:24,350
this with Yeah. No. Looked under the sink.

2121
01:15:24,350 --> 01:15:25,949
We're like, is it leaking under? Like, the

2122
01:15:26,109 --> 01:15:27,649
Not a thing. No.

2123
01:15:27,949 --> 01:15:30,109
Pull the dishwasher out and see a little

2124
01:15:30,109 --> 01:15:32,385
bit of water, but we're like, what?

2125
01:15:32,845 --> 01:15:34,364
So JB goes, let's

2126
01:15:34,765 --> 01:15:37,324
dishwasher is fully yanked out, y'all. Mhmm. He

2127
01:15:37,324 --> 01:15:39,085
goes, let's test the dishwasher because we had

2128
01:15:39,085 --> 01:15:40,845
tested the fridge. We there's no leaks under

2129
01:15:40,845 --> 01:15:42,204
the sink. Like, what is called? Where is

2130
01:15:42,204 --> 01:15:43,425
this water coming from?

2131
01:15:44,220 --> 01:15:45,439
Turns on the dishwasher,

2132
01:15:45,899 --> 01:15:48,619
and water just pours out of the bottom.

2133
01:15:48,619 --> 01:15:50,300
Mhmm. And we're like, well, we found the

2134
01:15:50,300 --> 01:15:51,359
leak. Yep.

2135
01:15:51,819 --> 01:15:54,460
The dishwasher repairman was out today. He was

2136
01:15:54,460 --> 01:15:57,659
very nice. Yeah. It's cheaper to fix the

2137
01:15:57,659 --> 01:15:59,654
dishwasher than it is to buy 1, so

2138
01:15:59,654 --> 01:16:01,114
we're fixing it. Yep.

2139
01:16:03,414 --> 01:16:05,494
But the water. The water is an issue.

2140
01:16:05,494 --> 01:16:07,755
Yeah. Yeah. Water is an issue. Yeah.

2141
01:16:08,534 --> 01:16:09,354
Yeah. Because,

2142
01:16:11,335 --> 01:16:12,474
it ran the water

2143
01:16:12,774 --> 01:16:13,274
ran

2144
01:16:13,880 --> 01:16:16,859
underneath the kitchen cabinets. Yep.

2145
01:16:17,239 --> 01:16:20,539
Underneath the hardwood. Underneath the hardwood floor, underneath

2146
01:16:20,600 --> 01:16:23,340
a a a short wall between the kitchen

2147
01:16:24,359 --> 01:16:27,445
and living room or dining room. Right. And

2148
01:16:27,445 --> 01:16:27,945
then

2149
01:16:28,405 --> 01:16:29,465
over the ledge

2150
01:16:30,005 --> 01:16:32,824
into the office. Right. That that part's carpeted.

2151
01:16:32,965 --> 01:16:36,345
Yep. Yep. And also because our bedroom

2152
01:16:37,364 --> 01:16:39,305
is on the other side of the kitchen,

2153
01:16:40,485 --> 01:16:41,945
it came it it

2154
01:16:42,310 --> 01:16:44,630
was enough water. It soaked through the walls,

2155
01:16:44,630 --> 01:16:46,649
and the carpet in our bedroom is damp.

2156
01:16:46,789 --> 01:16:47,689
Yeah. And it's

2157
01:16:48,229 --> 01:16:50,069
been a slow leak for a while that

2158
01:16:50,069 --> 01:16:51,829
we didn't notice, and then the 2 loads

2159
01:16:51,829 --> 01:16:53,829
backed back. Is what pushed it over the

2160
01:16:53,829 --> 01:16:56,085
edge. Pushed it over the edge. Yep. And

2161
01:16:56,085 --> 01:16:58,885
we're still waiting to find out if the

2162
01:16:58,885 --> 01:16:59,944
kind of water

2163
01:17:00,725 --> 01:17:03,204
coverage damage coverage we have on our homeowners

2164
01:17:03,204 --> 01:17:03,704
insurance

2165
01:17:04,564 --> 01:17:05,064
covers

2166
01:17:05,524 --> 01:17:08,484
this kind of damage. Yep. Because it's a

2167
01:17:08,484 --> 01:17:11,539
pull up flooring in multiple rooms. Like, not

2168
01:17:11,539 --> 01:17:12,439
not necessarily

2169
01:17:13,060 --> 01:17:15,159
the whole floor in each room,

2170
01:17:16,020 --> 01:17:16,760
but multiple

2171
01:17:18,340 --> 01:17:18,840
flooring

2172
01:17:19,539 --> 01:17:21,079
in multiple rooms.

2173
01:17:21,539 --> 01:17:22,039
Yeah.

2174
01:17:23,539 --> 01:17:24,039
So

2175
01:17:24,739 --> 01:17:25,880
yeah. Yep.

2176
01:17:26,435 --> 01:17:28,215
So we're we're just so

2177
01:17:28,595 --> 01:17:29,734
when we were trying

2178
01:17:30,114 --> 01:17:31,475
to move through our week, I was like,

2179
01:17:31,475 --> 01:17:33,015
well, of course, we're doing the livestream.

2180
01:17:33,475 --> 01:17:35,795
Of course, both to the Wednesday night for

2181
01:17:35,795 --> 01:17:37,954
the Friday episode and Friday night. I was

2182
01:17:37,954 --> 01:17:38,454
like,

2183
01:17:38,914 --> 01:17:39,414
but

2184
01:17:40,659 --> 01:17:42,020
we can't I don't have it in me

2185
01:17:42,020 --> 01:17:43,220
to do much more than that. These are

2186
01:17:43,220 --> 01:17:44,420
easy because I feel like I'm having a

2187
01:17:44,420 --> 01:17:44,920
conversation

2188
01:17:45,380 --> 01:17:46,739
Yeah. In a way that I don't feel

2189
01:17:46,739 --> 01:17:48,359
like with shorter episodes where

2190
01:17:48,979 --> 01:17:50,500
I know you y'all know we're not fully

2191
01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:52,444
scripted, but we got, like, more of point

2192
01:17:52,444 --> 01:17:53,805
to try and get to. And cons a

2193
01:17:53,805 --> 01:17:55,505
little bit more concise. Right.

2194
01:17:56,444 --> 01:17:58,765
We were also supposed to review something, and

2195
01:17:58,765 --> 01:18:00,845
I was, like, between the storm last week

2196
01:18:00,845 --> 01:18:02,685
and now this, I haven't even had time

2197
01:18:02,685 --> 01:18:04,925
to look at the damn thing. Yeah. So

2198
01:18:04,925 --> 01:18:06,524
we're just we were like, you know what?

2199
01:18:06,524 --> 01:18:08,170
That that's we're just gonna give ourselves a

2200
01:18:08,170 --> 01:18:10,369
little break. Mhmm. We're just gonna give ourselves

2201
01:18:10,369 --> 01:18:11,510
a little break. Yeah.

2202
01:18:12,050 --> 01:18:14,369
So, yeah, we we basically lost yesterday because

2203
01:18:14,369 --> 01:18:16,929
the morning was spent finding the leaks, figuring

2204
01:18:16,929 --> 01:18:19,170
out, like, how far it spread. Port JB

2205
01:18:19,170 --> 01:18:20,685
was in every room that connects to the

2206
01:18:20,685 --> 01:18:23,005
kitchen in any way. We got real paranoid.

2207
01:18:23,005 --> 01:18:24,364
It was like, okay. When it came over

2208
01:18:24,364 --> 01:18:26,125
the ledge into the office, we were like,

2209
01:18:26,125 --> 01:18:28,604
did it soak through the wall into the

2210
01:18:28,604 --> 01:18:30,045
office? It did not. It did not. No.

2211
01:18:30,045 --> 01:18:32,045
It did not. But then it was several

2212
01:18:32,045 --> 01:18:33,739
hours later, he went, oh, shit. Let me

2213
01:18:33,739 --> 01:18:35,100
go check. And then he checked the bedroom

2214
01:18:35,100 --> 01:18:38,060
because Sure enough. Sure enough. Yeah. Our cabinets

2215
01:18:39,100 --> 01:18:41,119
The bottom are soft now.

2216
01:18:41,979 --> 01:18:43,199
Yeah. Yeah.

2217
01:18:43,739 --> 01:18:44,239
Yeah.

2218
01:18:44,859 --> 01:18:45,359
So,

2219
01:18:46,425 --> 01:18:48,685
yeah. It's just a thing. Yep.

2220
01:18:50,585 --> 01:18:51,545
And I I,

2221
01:18:56,344 --> 01:18:57,244
I I said,

2222
01:18:58,189 --> 01:18:59,010
I will never

2223
01:18:59,869 --> 01:19:00,369
ever

2224
01:19:01,229 --> 01:19:03,710
buy GE Appliances again. Every single GE Appliances

2225
01:19:03,710 --> 01:19:04,689
again. Every single GE Appliances. We're

2226
01:19:05,149 --> 01:19:07,310
we're we're on our second icemaker in the

2227
01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:09,550
fridge. In the fridge. Yep. Yep. Yep. Matter

2228
01:19:09,550 --> 01:19:11,310
of fact, I haven't even fixed that yet.

2229
01:19:11,310 --> 01:19:13,149
Just And this time, we're not hiring the

2230
01:19:13,149 --> 01:19:15,195
appliance person. We're just doing it ourselves. Right.

2231
01:19:15,195 --> 01:19:16,335
That that yeah.

2232
01:19:17,675 --> 01:19:18,895
Be able to get the part.

2233
01:19:19,515 --> 01:19:21,435
This is the second time our dishwasher is

2234
01:19:21,435 --> 01:19:23,835
scrapped out. 2nd time dishwasher is crapped out

2235
01:19:23,835 --> 01:19:24,335
and,

2236
01:19:25,515 --> 01:19:26,655
burner on the stove

2237
01:19:27,515 --> 01:19:29,939
too. Yeah. And that's still working. And talking

2238
01:19:29,939 --> 01:19:30,439
to

2239
01:19:31,060 --> 01:19:32,180
the person who came to look at the

2240
01:19:32,180 --> 01:19:34,180
dishwasher today, he was like, oh, yeah. That

2241
01:19:34,180 --> 01:19:36,340
happens a lot. The burner element that would

2242
01:19:36,340 --> 01:19:37,699
have to be replaced, he's like, that by

2243
01:19:37,699 --> 01:19:40,039
itself before labor and well, that's $250.

2244
01:19:40,500 --> 01:19:41,779
And I was like, I need to go

2245
01:19:41,779 --> 01:19:44,345
price ovens now? Like, is it gonna be

2246
01:19:44,345 --> 01:19:46,185
cheaper to fix it or plant a new

2247
01:19:46,185 --> 01:19:48,585
one? And and, you know, I I I

2248
01:19:48,585 --> 01:19:50,505
I feel a little bit of responsibility in

2249
01:19:50,505 --> 01:19:52,444
this because, you know, when we were looking,

2250
01:19:52,824 --> 01:19:54,824
you know, we we looked at GE because

2251
01:19:54,824 --> 01:19:56,125
my grandmother had

2252
01:19:56,479 --> 01:19:57,860
GE appliances, and they

2253
01:19:58,720 --> 01:20:01,140
lasted her entire life. And my mom had

2254
01:20:01,280 --> 01:20:03,680
Yeah. Her GE appliances, and they lasted her,

2255
01:20:03,680 --> 01:20:04,180
you

2256
01:20:04,640 --> 01:20:06,159
know, entire life. And,

2257
01:20:07,360 --> 01:20:10,239
not anymore, I guess. Yeah. Mister Spock points

2258
01:20:10,239 --> 01:20:11,925
out, at least the GE stuff doesn't sing

2259
01:20:11,925 --> 01:20:14,005
like the the other ones. Yeah. Yeah. Our

2260
01:20:14,005 --> 01:20:16,404
our, washer and dryer stick to us, and

2261
01:20:16,404 --> 01:20:17,925
I after all these years, I'm still not

2262
01:20:17,925 --> 01:20:20,005
used to it. Yeah. Still, like, what is

2263
01:20:20,005 --> 01:20:22,564
happening? I it it's become a joke when

2264
01:20:22,564 --> 01:20:23,465
the, dryer

2265
01:20:24,244 --> 01:20:26,904
and the washer go into their, little thing.

2266
01:20:27,070 --> 01:20:28,670
It's like, oh, the ice cream man's here.

2267
01:20:28,670 --> 01:20:30,610
The ice cream man's here. Yeah.

2268
01:20:31,229 --> 01:20:32,689
No. I'm I am

2269
01:20:33,470 --> 01:20:36,189
I am old in the way that I'm,

2270
01:20:36,189 --> 01:20:38,430
like, I would like to go back to

2271
01:20:38,670 --> 01:20:39,970
like, give me appliances

2272
01:20:40,545 --> 01:20:42,244
that don't have computerized

2273
01:20:42,784 --> 01:20:43,765
anything in them.

2274
01:20:44,145 --> 01:20:46,324
Give me apply give me the, like,

2275
01:20:46,704 --> 01:20:48,465
washer thing that you put in the top,

2276
01:20:48,465 --> 01:20:50,145
like, something. Give me something that can be

2277
01:20:50,145 --> 01:20:50,645
repaired

2278
01:20:50,945 --> 01:20:51,445
easily.

2279
01:20:51,824 --> 01:20:53,265
Of course, that's a dying art and the

2280
01:20:53,265 --> 01:20:55,229
people who have the knowledge to repair them

2281
01:20:55,789 --> 01:20:57,250
are, you know, slowly

2282
01:20:57,789 --> 01:20:59,869
going away. But I'm just like,

2283
01:21:00,510 --> 01:21:02,270
now I know why my dad was always

2284
01:21:02,270 --> 01:21:04,430
like, I don't need a car with all

2285
01:21:04,430 --> 01:21:06,670
the, you know, bells and whistles. That's just

2286
01:21:06,670 --> 01:21:08,925
more stuff that can break. That that is

2287
01:21:08,925 --> 01:21:11,185
my old person thing. It's like

2288
01:21:11,564 --> 01:21:13,404
like Yeah. I don't want all these damn

2289
01:21:13,404 --> 01:21:16,045
appliances that could do 85 things because all

2290
01:21:16,045 --> 01:21:18,145
those 85 things will break. Yeah.

2291
01:21:18,604 --> 01:21:20,764
I I mean, you know, I I guess

2292
01:21:20,764 --> 01:21:23,310
what I'm you know, you you you spend

2293
01:21:23,609 --> 01:21:25,630
that kind of money on this stuff and,

2294
01:21:26,489 --> 01:21:27,789
you know, shoot, it's

2295
01:21:30,649 --> 01:21:32,489
barely out of warranty and it's, you know

2296
01:21:32,649 --> 01:21:34,409
It's usually like the day after it's out

2297
01:21:34,409 --> 01:21:34,989
of warranty.

2298
01:21:35,645 --> 01:21:37,805
Yep. So the joys of homeownership for anybody

2299
01:21:37,805 --> 01:21:39,885
who's like, gee. Is it worth it? I

2300
01:21:39,885 --> 01:21:42,604
can't answer that for you. Yeah. Can't can't,

2301
01:21:43,484 --> 01:21:45,885
can't tell you. Yeah. No. Owning my own

2302
01:21:45,885 --> 01:21:48,444
home is 10 times better than a shitty

2303
01:21:48,444 --> 01:21:50,930
landlord because I've had shitty landlords.

2304
01:21:51,230 --> 01:21:53,470
But when you have a decent landlord that

2305
01:21:53,470 --> 01:21:55,090
actually will fix shit for you,

2306
01:21:56,270 --> 01:21:58,050
I mean, I I could be convinced

2307
01:21:58,750 --> 01:22:00,930
to come back to rent a claim.

2308
01:22:03,175 --> 01:22:05,494
Yay. So, yeah, we were a little tired,

2309
01:22:05,494 --> 01:22:08,055
and we've just we've been low energy now.

2310
01:22:08,055 --> 01:22:08,555
Yeah.

2311
01:22:09,414 --> 01:22:11,655
But things pick back up as they do.

2312
01:22:11,655 --> 01:22:12,155
So

2313
01:22:14,310 --> 01:22:17,849
tomorrow afternoon, I head to Gainesville. The kid

2314
01:22:18,069 --> 01:22:21,029
needs the oldest needs groceries Yeah. And was

2315
01:22:21,029 --> 01:22:22,329
texting me on, like,

2316
01:22:22,789 --> 01:22:24,310
Sunday night for me to go Monday. I

2317
01:22:24,310 --> 01:22:26,069
was like, I cannot do that, but I

2318
01:22:26,069 --> 01:22:28,409
can get there Thursday. I was like, okay.

2319
01:22:28,815 --> 01:22:30,735
But then I'm an I'm an old lady

2320
01:22:30,735 --> 01:22:32,895
who has anxiety. I was like, we're doing

2321
01:22:32,895 --> 01:22:35,454
this quickly because I wanna get back to

2322
01:22:35,454 --> 01:22:38,414
my part of town before rush hour traffic.

2323
01:22:38,414 --> 01:22:40,335
I'm not driving that traffic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

2324
01:22:40,335 --> 01:22:42,449
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He laughed at me. So

2325
01:22:42,449 --> 01:22:43,270
there's that.

2326
01:22:43,729 --> 01:22:45,029
Next week, we go to,

2327
01:22:45,409 --> 01:22:46,930
a concert of his. Oh, that was the

2328
01:22:46,930 --> 01:22:48,930
other thing. So Sunday, he was like, I

2329
01:22:48,930 --> 01:22:50,369
need groceries. And he thought I was going

2330
01:22:50,369 --> 01:22:51,890
Monday. I was like, I cannot go Monday.

2331
01:22:51,890 --> 01:22:53,729
Mhmm. Then Monday, he goes, I have a

2332
01:22:53,729 --> 01:22:56,175
performance tomorrow. And I was like,

2333
01:22:56,795 --> 01:22:59,034
I love you so much. You did not

2334
01:22:59,034 --> 01:23:00,635
tell me about he's like, I thought I

2335
01:23:00,635 --> 01:23:02,015
had told you. No.

2336
01:23:02,395 --> 01:23:04,875
No. I was like, I really hate this

2337
01:23:04,875 --> 01:23:06,875
because we are not going to that was

2338
01:23:07,034 --> 01:23:08,335
he's telling me this.

2339
01:23:09,319 --> 01:23:11,000
Yeah. He's telling me this Monday. We didn't

2340
01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:13,399
even we just knew the dishwasher wasn't working

2341
01:23:13,399 --> 01:23:14,840
right. We didn't know it was leaking all

2342
01:23:14,840 --> 01:23:16,039
over the place. And I was already like,

2343
01:23:16,039 --> 01:23:17,340
we got stuff going on.

2344
01:23:18,439 --> 01:23:20,199
And then Tuesday morning, I was like, no.

2345
01:23:20,199 --> 01:23:22,059
No. For real. I'm definitely not coming.

2346
01:23:22,599 --> 01:23:24,039
Because that was when we were dealing with

2347
01:23:24,039 --> 01:23:24,619
the dishwasher.

2348
01:23:25,215 --> 01:23:26,335
So I was like, oh, so you have

2349
01:23:26,335 --> 01:23:28,014
a concert next week. I'm deaf we're definitely

2350
01:23:28,014 --> 01:23:29,534
going to that one. We'll see you for

2351
01:23:29,534 --> 01:23:31,375
that one. And then there's a concert on

2352
01:23:31,375 --> 01:23:33,135
my birthday. Apparently, my birthday's in the middle

2353
01:23:33,135 --> 01:23:34,814
of the week this year. I didn't notice.

2354
01:23:34,814 --> 01:23:37,215
I don't know. She's got a performance that

2355
01:23:37,215 --> 01:23:37,954
day too.

2356
01:23:38,880 --> 01:23:40,560
So we'll be doing that. My birthday's at

2357
01:23:40,560 --> 01:23:41,600
the end of the month for anybody who's

2358
01:23:41,600 --> 01:23:43,199
like, what does that matter? Our anniversaries at

2359
01:23:43,199 --> 01:23:44,560
the beginning of the week and then your

2360
01:23:44,560 --> 01:23:46,100
birthday. Yeah. I know.

2361
01:23:46,719 --> 01:23:47,859
So yeah.

2362
01:23:49,359 --> 01:23:51,279
So life just keeps rolling on and we

2363
01:23:51,279 --> 01:23:52,925
just keep rolling with it. Yep.

2364
01:23:53,545 --> 01:23:55,145
And, I've been doing a lot of,

2365
01:23:56,984 --> 01:23:59,145
handyman stuff at your aunt and uncle's. Oh

2366
01:23:59,145 --> 01:24:00,585
my god. They gave you a honey do

2367
01:24:00,585 --> 01:24:02,824
list. So I think I mentioned this a

2368
01:24:02,824 --> 01:24:05,100
couple weeks ago. Last time we streamed, my

2369
01:24:05,180 --> 01:24:07,739
uncle had surgery. My aunt is disabled. My

2370
01:24:07,739 --> 01:24:09,420
mom, who is retired and has, like, tons

2371
01:24:09,420 --> 01:24:11,100
of free time, came to stay with them

2372
01:24:11,100 --> 01:24:12,479
to help them out. Okay. Fine.

2373
01:24:13,020 --> 01:24:13,520
So

2374
01:24:13,820 --> 01:24:15,119
my uncles recovered

2375
01:24:15,500 --> 01:24:16,239
very fast.

2376
01:24:17,579 --> 01:24:18,399
And so

2377
01:24:18,780 --> 01:24:20,159
my mom was, like,

2378
01:24:20,885 --> 01:24:22,725
helping out around the house, but also kind

2379
01:24:22,725 --> 01:24:24,244
of you know how when you live in

2380
01:24:24,244 --> 01:24:26,164
your own house and something, like, stops working

2381
01:24:26,164 --> 01:24:27,204
right and you go, I'll get to it.

2382
01:24:27,204 --> 01:24:29,204
And then it just becomes normal and background

2383
01:24:29,204 --> 01:24:31,204
noise, and you don't even remember the oh,

2384
01:24:31,204 --> 01:24:33,920
oh, yeah. I'll get around to it. I'll

2385
01:24:33,920 --> 01:24:35,695
get oh, yeah. That's right. Well, my mother

2386
01:24:35,695 --> 01:24:35,917
came in with fresh eyes and was like,

2387
01:24:35,917 --> 01:24:35,968
oh, this needs and this needs and this

2388
01:24:35,968 --> 01:24:37,060
needs. And then it was turns to JB.

2389
01:24:37,520 --> 01:24:39,920
Oh, could you do this for us? They're

2390
01:24:39,920 --> 01:24:41,619
out of town this week.

2391
01:24:42,079 --> 01:24:43,460
They're staying up in a

2392
01:24:48,685 --> 01:24:49,505
cabin in the

2393
01:24:49,965 --> 01:24:50,864
Georgia mountains,

2394
01:24:52,045 --> 01:24:54,704
where, like, where there it's not like a

2395
01:24:54,844 --> 01:24:56,925
devastate state of place from, like, Helene or

2396
01:24:56,925 --> 01:24:58,604
whatever. Like, it's it's fine. They can be

2397
01:24:58,604 --> 01:24:59,104
there.

2398
01:24:59,645 --> 01:25:01,244
And so we were like so we're taking

2399
01:25:01,244 --> 01:25:02,685
care of their cat, which is fine. We

2400
01:25:02,685 --> 01:25:03,610
do that for them every time they go

2401
01:25:03,610 --> 01:25:04,350
out of town.

2402
01:25:04,729 --> 01:25:07,210
Anyway, but my mom left with a list

2403
01:25:07,210 --> 01:25:10,329
of chores to Yeah. Could JB complete for

2404
01:25:10,329 --> 01:25:13,150
them, and we got them done. We did.

2405
01:25:13,369 --> 01:25:14,190
We did.

2406
01:25:14,810 --> 01:25:18,054
We did. And saved their it's not they

2407
01:25:18,054 --> 01:25:19,335
don't have a Roomba. They have a shark.

2408
01:25:19,335 --> 01:25:21,414
But they're like, our Rosie the Roomba, their

2409
01:25:21,414 --> 01:25:23,814
version of that had, like, gotten lost in

2410
01:25:23,814 --> 01:25:25,814
the wilderness of their house while they've been

2411
01:25:25,814 --> 01:25:26,314
gone.

2412
01:25:26,694 --> 01:25:28,875
Found her, put her back on the charger.

2413
01:25:30,295 --> 01:25:31,920
Yep. Got to love on the cat a

2414
01:25:31,920 --> 01:25:34,100
little bit, like Mhmm. Mhmm.

2415
01:25:34,479 --> 01:25:34,880
So

2416
01:25:35,439 --> 01:25:35,939
And,

2417
01:25:36,960 --> 01:25:39,199
talked silent, asked about the the the pets.

2418
01:25:39,199 --> 01:25:41,760
Fur babies are all fine. Oh, yeah. They're

2419
01:25:41,760 --> 01:25:44,020
right as well. They're doing fine. Lola,

2420
01:25:45,775 --> 01:25:46,835
she she's been,

2421
01:25:47,695 --> 01:25:49,315
oh my gosh, almost obnoxious

2422
01:25:49,935 --> 01:25:52,735
with her with with the nice weather. She

2423
01:25:52,735 --> 01:25:54,175
wants to go out, then she wants to

2424
01:25:54,175 --> 01:25:55,775
come in. Wants to go out, then she

2425
01:25:55,775 --> 01:25:56,755
wants to come in.

2426
01:25:57,614 --> 01:25:59,855
Yeah. All day today. Yeah. And then when

2427
01:25:59,855 --> 01:26:02,689
the appliance repair person was here, I kept

2428
01:26:02,689 --> 01:26:04,390
her in the office with me because

2429
01:26:04,850 --> 01:26:05,670
she's actually

2430
01:26:05,970 --> 01:26:08,449
fine with most people. But, 1, most people

2431
01:26:08,449 --> 01:26:09,890
don't wanna be some people don't wanna be

2432
01:26:09,890 --> 01:26:12,369
around big dogs. Right. 2, until she's fine

2433
01:26:12,369 --> 01:26:14,470
with you, you will hear her big girl

2434
01:26:14,534 --> 01:26:15,895
bark, and none of we just and that

2435
01:26:15,895 --> 01:26:17,095
could scare people. We didn't want any of

2436
01:26:17,095 --> 01:26:18,695
that. We're like, So I kept her here

2437
01:26:18,695 --> 01:26:20,775
in the office with me while JB was

2438
01:26:20,775 --> 01:26:23,255
talking to the repair person. Yeah. And,

2439
01:26:24,375 --> 01:26:26,534
she was mostly fine, and so she decided

2440
01:26:26,534 --> 01:26:28,215
she didn't wanna be in the area. She

2441
01:26:28,215 --> 01:26:30,920
wasn't she wasn't barking. She was howling. She

2442
01:26:30,920 --> 01:26:31,739
was doing that

2443
01:26:32,199 --> 01:26:35,000
oh that she does. Yes. You know? That

2444
01:26:35,000 --> 01:26:36,220
that she's been abandoned.

2445
01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:39,560
Oh, yeah. Just lost, forsaken. I am sitting

2446
01:26:39,560 --> 01:26:41,079
on the floor. I did not sit on

2447
01:26:41,079 --> 01:26:43,000
the floor. I'm sitting on the floor going,

2448
01:26:43,000 --> 01:26:45,195
Lola, come here. Here. Lola, let me love

2449
01:26:45,195 --> 01:26:47,354
you. And she would run over to me,

2450
01:26:47,354 --> 01:26:49,195
let me scratch her ears for, like, half

2451
01:26:49,195 --> 01:26:51,435
a second, run back to the door, and

2452
01:26:51,435 --> 01:26:53,274
I woo. And I would go, Lola, come

2453
01:26:53,274 --> 01:26:54,715
here. And she'd run to me, and I

2454
01:26:54,715 --> 01:26:56,574
could scratch her ears, and she'd run back.

2455
01:26:56,635 --> 01:26:59,560
And we did that multiple times. Yeah. Thankfully,

2456
01:26:59,780 --> 01:27:01,880
the person who was here did not seem

2457
01:27:02,579 --> 01:27:04,659
to, be phased by me. No. He didn't.

2458
01:27:04,659 --> 01:27:06,119
That was nice. Some people

2459
01:27:06,739 --> 01:27:08,340
some people love pitties and are like, oh,

2460
01:27:08,340 --> 01:27:09,300
do you have a pity? And then we

2461
01:27:09,300 --> 01:27:10,500
get into a conversation about how much do

2462
01:27:10,500 --> 01:27:11,385
I love pitties? And some

2463
01:27:12,425 --> 01:27:14,585
people, especially if if she does her big

2464
01:27:14,585 --> 01:27:16,824
girl bark Yeah. They just sort of tense

2465
01:27:16,824 --> 01:27:18,664
up, which is why we keep her away.

2466
01:27:18,664 --> 01:27:20,344
Like, we're not trying to, like, freak anybody

2467
01:27:20,344 --> 01:27:22,364
out. Ever ever since we we

2468
01:27:22,904 --> 01:27:24,104
realized that,

2469
01:27:25,064 --> 01:27:25,770
you know,

2470
01:27:26,489 --> 01:27:28,430
with when we had the pest control

2471
01:27:29,050 --> 01:27:31,050
and Yeah. Or even if she would see

2472
01:27:31,050 --> 01:27:32,270
someone in the neighborhood,

2473
01:27:32,810 --> 01:27:35,770
you know, or or spray tech doing the

2474
01:27:35,770 --> 01:27:37,390
yard, something about

2475
01:27:38,409 --> 01:27:41,024
these folks that they have a wand in

2476
01:27:41,024 --> 01:27:41,765
their hand,

2477
01:27:42,225 --> 01:27:45,824
and and that brings us to well and

2478
01:27:45,824 --> 01:27:47,984
and sometimes I wonder if it's because she

2479
01:27:47,984 --> 01:27:49,984
was shot. If that to her that And

2480
01:27:49,984 --> 01:27:51,904
I think I don't She I think she

2481
01:27:51,904 --> 01:27:54,840
went through more abuse than just Probably. Being

2482
01:27:54,840 --> 01:27:57,239
shot in the Probably. The leg. Probably. And

2483
01:27:57,239 --> 01:27:57,979
I yeah.

2484
01:27:58,360 --> 01:28:00,920
But, you know, she's she's doing good. It

2485
01:28:00,920 --> 01:28:03,159
was funny after after he left and opened

2486
01:28:03,159 --> 01:28:03,979
up the door,

2487
01:28:04,439 --> 01:28:04,760
she,

2488
01:28:05,399 --> 01:28:07,479
pretty much had been glued to my side

2489
01:28:07,479 --> 01:28:09,814
for the rest of the day. Yes.

2490
01:28:10,354 --> 01:28:11,255
Oh my gosh.

2491
01:28:11,795 --> 01:28:12,114
I,

2492
01:28:12,675 --> 01:28:15,555
I I had the opportunity today to lay

2493
01:28:15,555 --> 01:28:17,715
down and on the sofa and take a

2494
01:28:17,715 --> 01:28:19,954
nap. You know, I was barely sat down

2495
01:28:19,954 --> 01:28:22,274
on that sofa and had that little throw

2496
01:28:22,274 --> 01:28:24,435
blanket over me, then she was on top

2497
01:28:24,435 --> 01:28:26,829
of me. Wow. Okay. Because you've been very

2498
01:28:26,829 --> 01:28:28,190
sad that she would not get on the

2499
01:28:28,190 --> 01:28:29,949
couch for the whole day. She she did.

2500
01:28:29,949 --> 01:28:30,850
You know?

2501
01:28:31,869 --> 01:28:33,710
She couldn't wait. I think she feels like

2502
01:28:33,710 --> 01:28:35,390
a new woman with this cooler weather. I

2503
01:28:35,390 --> 01:28:36,289
do. I do.

2504
01:28:36,590 --> 01:28:39,230
Yeah. I mean, my whole personality is strange.

2505
01:28:39,230 --> 01:28:41,244
Mhmm. Well, maybe not, but you know what

2506
01:28:41,244 --> 01:28:41,824
I mean.

2507
01:28:42,925 --> 01:28:45,324
Yeah. So yeah. And the the cats are

2508
01:28:45,324 --> 01:28:45,824
fine.

2509
01:28:48,685 --> 01:28:50,225
Ella has actually been

2510
01:28:50,925 --> 01:28:51,664
a little

2511
01:28:52,125 --> 01:28:52,625
more,

2512
01:28:54,189 --> 01:28:55,869
personable is not the right word because she's

2513
01:28:55,869 --> 01:28:58,109
very a very social cat. Passionate? Yeah. Thank

2514
01:28:58,109 --> 01:28:59,469
you. That's what I want because she's been

2515
01:28:59,469 --> 01:29:01,869
going from lap to lap to lap. Yep.

2516
01:29:01,869 --> 01:29:03,710
And then, like, a circuit. Like, if we're

2517
01:29:03,710 --> 01:29:04,989
all especially if we're all sitting on the

2518
01:29:04,989 --> 01:29:07,085
couch, she just Yeah. Kinda goes down the

2519
01:29:07,085 --> 01:29:08,604
line and wants to sit with everybody. And,

2520
01:29:08,604 --> 01:29:11,324
like, her purse feel, like, louder to me.

2521
01:29:11,324 --> 01:29:13,324
I'm like, it's because you don't normally cuddle

2522
01:29:13,324 --> 01:29:15,024
up with me, but girl.

2523
01:29:17,085 --> 01:29:19,979
Onyx is Onyx. Oh, yeah. Onyx is Onyx.

2524
01:29:19,979 --> 01:29:21,340
And she will always be Onyx. She will

2525
01:29:21,340 --> 01:29:23,520
always be Onyx. Will never not be. Yeah.

2526
01:29:24,380 --> 01:29:25,760
Thank god we love her. Mhmm.

2527
01:29:26,939 --> 01:29:28,779
Well, like we say about Ella, thank god

2528
01:29:28,779 --> 01:29:31,039
she's pretty. Oh, lord. That one. Yeah.

2529
01:29:31,500 --> 01:29:33,500
Yeah. You know, I know it's a running,

2530
01:29:33,500 --> 01:29:35,145
like, joke on the Internet about, you know,

2531
01:29:35,225 --> 01:29:35,625
cats

2532
01:29:36,104 --> 01:29:37,885
multiple cats sharing one brain cell.

2533
01:29:38,425 --> 01:29:40,664
Ella Onyx does not let Ella have the

2534
01:29:40,664 --> 01:29:43,784
brain cell. No. No. She does not. She's

2535
01:29:43,784 --> 01:29:45,465
like, this is mine. I had it way

2536
01:29:45,465 --> 01:29:46,984
before you came along. You don't know what

2537
01:29:46,984 --> 01:29:48,265
to do with the brain cells, so you

2538
01:29:48,265 --> 01:29:49,164
don't get it.

2539
01:29:50,059 --> 01:29:52,219
I'm pretty sure Onyx has more than 1,

2540
01:29:52,219 --> 01:29:55,260
but she's, like, keeping Ella's one brain cell

2541
01:29:55,260 --> 01:29:56,319
away from her.

2542
01:29:56,699 --> 01:29:58,159
Oh, thank god Ella's cute.

2543
01:29:58,539 --> 01:29:59,199
Oh, lordy.

2544
01:30:00,539 --> 01:30:02,079
So yeah. We're Yeah.

2545
01:30:02,774 --> 01:30:05,094
You know, other than the little extra, like,

2546
01:30:05,094 --> 01:30:07,435
house stress, we're we're mostly good and fine.

2547
01:30:07,494 --> 01:30:09,574
We are, finally in a way that we

2548
01:30:09,574 --> 01:30:11,015
were not able to before, but we can

2549
01:30:11,015 --> 01:30:13,574
now. We're finally doing some, like, major major

2550
01:30:13,574 --> 01:30:15,354
restocks for the Kinkery. Yep.

2551
01:30:16,770 --> 01:30:17,989
My major restock

2552
01:30:18,369 --> 01:30:20,050
will be as fast as they get me

2553
01:30:20,210 --> 01:30:22,130
the supplies come in that I've ordered to

2554
01:30:22,130 --> 01:30:24,609
be shipped. And yours, you're going you get

2555
01:30:24,609 --> 01:30:26,130
to go you get to go play with

2556
01:30:26,130 --> 01:30:27,029
wood tomorrow,

2557
01:30:28,369 --> 01:30:29,774
your favorite thing to do.

2558
01:30:32,975 --> 01:30:34,574
I mean, it's probably been a hot minute

2559
01:30:34,574 --> 01:30:35,935
since you've gotten to play with wood, but

2560
01:30:35,935 --> 01:30:37,395
that's Yeah. A different conversation.

2561
01:30:39,054 --> 01:30:41,135
And so we're gonna spend the weekend milling

2562
01:30:41,135 --> 01:30:43,694
and processing wood and making more paddles, which

2563
01:30:43,694 --> 01:30:47,210
is very exciting. Yep. And, I did a

2564
01:30:48,010 --> 01:30:50,109
doing some rearranging in the garage.

2565
01:30:50,729 --> 01:30:53,050
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to eke out

2566
01:30:53,050 --> 01:30:55,050
more a little more space in there. More

2567
01:30:55,050 --> 01:30:56,429
space. Yeah. Yeah.

2568
01:30:56,844 --> 01:30:58,064
So You know, I,

2569
01:30:58,764 --> 01:31:01,484
the, the the the benches where we do

2570
01:31:01,724 --> 01:31:03,645
or where you now do most all of

2571
01:31:03,645 --> 01:31:04,145
the

2572
01:31:05,164 --> 01:31:07,324
Resin work. Resin work. I cleaned that off

2573
01:31:07,324 --> 01:31:09,404
and gave you some extra real estate on

2574
01:31:09,404 --> 01:31:11,404
top of the catalog. Like, 2 more feet

2575
01:31:11,404 --> 01:31:12,590
of space. Yeah.

2576
01:31:13,449 --> 01:31:15,789
So that's been So Yeah. That's been nice.

2577
01:31:16,329 --> 01:31:17,689
And, yeah. It's

2578
01:31:19,289 --> 01:31:20,909
So here we are. Here we are.

2579
01:31:22,569 --> 01:31:24,489
Hopefully, next week, we can be fully back

2580
01:31:24,489 --> 01:31:26,250
to normal. That would be nice. That would

2581
01:31:26,250 --> 01:31:27,310
be very, very nice.

2582
01:31:29,645 --> 01:31:31,184
And then, yeah, Friday night,

2583
01:31:33,965 --> 01:31:36,364
we'll be here. Mhmm. Yeah. I don't know

2584
01:31:36,364 --> 01:31:38,364
what state we'll be in. But we'll be

2585
01:31:38,364 --> 01:31:38,864
here.

2586
01:31:39,484 --> 01:31:40,545
Yes. We will.

2587
01:31:40,925 --> 01:31:43,260
Yes. We will. So, yeah, I guess that's

2588
01:31:43,260 --> 01:31:45,979
enough for now. Mhmm. Oh, somebody mentioned it

2589
01:31:45,979 --> 01:31:48,460
in live chat. So Yes. Yes. You have

2590
01:31:48,460 --> 01:31:50,460
something that is not new behind you. I

2591
01:31:50,460 --> 01:31:52,380
don't know how to describe it for podcast

2592
01:31:52,380 --> 01:31:52,880
listeners.

2593
01:31:53,819 --> 01:31:55,659
What what words do we need to say

2594
01:31:55,659 --> 01:31:56,720
to describe this?

2595
01:31:58,324 --> 01:32:01,225
So it it's a candle. Mhmm. It's purple.

2596
01:32:01,524 --> 01:32:02,024
Purple.

2597
01:32:02,484 --> 01:32:03,545
It is a wizard

2598
01:32:04,804 --> 01:32:06,804
reading his I hope I can say it

2599
01:32:06,804 --> 01:32:07,304
right.

2600
01:32:07,844 --> 01:32:08,344
Grimoire?

2601
01:32:08,725 --> 01:32:10,484
I don't know. Grimoire? I don't know how

2602
01:32:10,484 --> 01:32:12,244
it's actually said. It's a word I've never

2603
01:32:12,244 --> 01:32:12,744
read.

2604
01:32:13,659 --> 01:32:16,619
Standing behind a dragon. Mhmm. And he's had

2605
01:32:16,619 --> 01:32:17,760
it forever. Yep.

2606
01:32:18,460 --> 01:32:20,139
Forever. And that is not a candle that

2607
01:32:20,139 --> 01:32:22,380
is has ever seen a flame. No. It

2608
01:32:22,380 --> 01:32:23,899
will never get burned. No. No. No. No.

2609
01:32:23,899 --> 01:32:25,119
No. No. That's decor

2610
01:32:25,500 --> 01:32:28,000
is what that is. So Yeah. I,

2611
01:32:31,625 --> 01:32:33,224
You zhuzhing up our space for

2612
01:32:34,344 --> 01:32:36,425
Yeah. I thought, you know The background for

2613
01:32:36,425 --> 01:32:38,904
YouTube? Yeah. I thought, you know, maybe every

2614
01:32:38,904 --> 01:32:40,764
once in a while, throw something a little,

2615
01:32:41,545 --> 01:32:43,224
you know, shake it up a little bit.

2616
01:32:43,224 --> 01:32:44,760
I'm I'm here for that. I'm telling you,

2617
01:32:44,760 --> 01:32:46,359
I'm in this phase where, like, yeah. I

2618
01:32:46,359 --> 01:32:47,420
want I

2619
01:32:47,880 --> 01:32:49,179
I want and I'm seeking

2620
01:32:49,719 --> 01:32:50,779
very specific

2621
01:32:51,239 --> 01:32:52,139
kinds of change.

2622
01:32:52,679 --> 01:32:53,960
If I do not seek it out, I

2623
01:32:53,960 --> 01:32:55,179
don't want it. Thank you.

2624
01:32:55,895 --> 01:32:56,715
Are you listening to me,

2625
01:32:57,015 --> 01:32:59,675
universe? I'm not asking for change.

2626
01:33:00,854 --> 01:33:01,354
Anyway,

2627
01:33:04,614 --> 01:33:07,034
ah, thank you, Yarn and Whiskey. Grimoir. Grimoir.

2628
01:33:07,175 --> 01:33:09,335
Okay. Always said it. Thank you, x. See

2629
01:33:09,494 --> 01:33:11,939
Thank you. There's so many words that I've

2630
01:33:11,939 --> 01:33:13,079
only ever read.

2631
01:33:13,699 --> 01:33:15,460
I mean and I'm you and I both

2632
01:33:15,619 --> 01:33:18,340
it's funny because you get a little we

2633
01:33:18,340 --> 01:33:19,719
thought we were leaving. We're not.

2634
01:33:20,180 --> 01:33:22,020
You sometimes you get a little self conscious

2635
01:33:22,020 --> 01:33:24,255
because I'll correct a word. Yeah. And I'm

2636
01:33:24,255 --> 01:33:25,774
a and you kinda do this thing. I

2637
01:33:25,774 --> 01:33:27,694
go, no. I know you've only read it.

2638
01:33:27,694 --> 01:33:29,295
You've just never heard it said. Here, I'll

2639
01:33:29,295 --> 01:33:30,755
say it for you. Now you know.

2640
01:33:31,935 --> 01:33:33,935
I don't get I only it bothers me

2641
01:33:33,935 --> 01:33:36,014
when somebody I'm not, like, super close to

2642
01:33:36,014 --> 01:33:37,819
corrects me because then I get that whole,

2643
01:33:37,819 --> 01:33:39,340
oh, no. I'm an awful human being who

2644
01:33:39,340 --> 01:33:40,619
made a mistake. I'm not allowed to do

2645
01:33:40,619 --> 01:33:42,880
that. That's that's my own personal trauma.

2646
01:33:44,219 --> 01:33:45,819
JB is allowed to correct me, but he

2647
01:33:45,819 --> 01:33:47,739
tends to get the giggles because it's very

2648
01:33:47,739 --> 01:33:49,840
rare that he has to correct my pronunciation.

2649
01:33:50,059 --> 01:33:51,599
Normally, it's the other way around.

2650
01:33:52,005 --> 01:33:52,244
Yeah.

2651
01:33:52,965 --> 01:33:54,024
And so he

2652
01:33:54,564 --> 01:33:56,485
finds it very humorous, but it's usually because

2653
01:33:56,485 --> 01:33:58,425
I have really butchered a word. Like

2654
01:33:59,765 --> 01:34:02,485
like, no reasonable person would know how I

2655
01:34:02,485 --> 01:34:05,445
got that combination of letters to sound like

2656
01:34:05,445 --> 01:34:06,505
that. So

2657
01:34:07,045 --> 01:34:09,659
it's it's fine. It's fine. If the people

2658
01:34:09,659 --> 01:34:11,180
you love most in the world aren't allowed

2659
01:34:11,180 --> 01:34:13,280
to laugh at you, who is? Nobody.

2660
01:34:13,659 --> 01:34:15,840
But anyway, that's, again, my emotional trauma.

2661
01:34:17,260 --> 01:34:18,780
So yeah. That's kind of,

2662
01:34:19,900 --> 01:34:21,520
been us in a nutshell lately.

2663
01:34:22,175 --> 01:34:23,774
Oh god. Every time you say stuff like

2664
01:34:23,774 --> 01:34:24,335
that, I,

2665
01:34:25,055 --> 01:34:27,854
I can't is it Jim Carrey? Is it

2666
01:34:27,935 --> 01:34:29,314
it's somebody who went,

2667
01:34:29,694 --> 01:34:31,215
it was Austin pow it was an Austin

2668
01:34:31,215 --> 01:34:33,234
Powers. Wait. This is me in a nutshell,

2669
01:34:35,789 --> 01:34:38,030
Every time I'm just now admitting it, but

2670
01:34:38,030 --> 01:34:39,949
every time you say that's blah blah blah

2671
01:34:39,949 --> 01:34:41,869
in a nutshell, I'm like, no. This is

2672
01:34:41,869 --> 01:34:43,409
me in a nutshell. Anyway,

2673
01:34:46,155 --> 01:34:48,335
Okay. I think we should go now.

2674
01:34:49,114 --> 01:34:49,614
Yeah.

2675
01:34:50,314 --> 01:34:52,494
We'll be back Friday night, October 18th,

2676
01:34:53,274 --> 01:34:55,135
9:30 PM EST. Mhmm.

2677
01:34:56,074 --> 01:34:58,970
Thanks for being here, especially to the bitter

2678
01:34:58,970 --> 01:34:59,949
end. Yep.

2679
01:35:00,729 --> 01:35:02,970
We appreciate all of you. We do. We

2680
01:35:02,970 --> 01:35:05,630
will talk to y'all Yep. Later. Okay. Bye.

2681
01:35:06,250 --> 01:35:06,750
Bye.