You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, episode
415.
K. The lords here were the 1, the
only, the
you are as tired as I am, but
here we are powering through together. Doing what
we do. That's what we do. John Brownstone.
I'm sorry. I made that a little low
key depressing and could not actually be funny
today.
It's okay. Yeah. It's been a couple days.
It's been a couple days. We'll talk about
that in the bonus section because if we
can't whine in the bonus section, where can
we whine?
That's not actually what we are doing here
today. We are back after taking time off
for
Milton.
If you do not follow us on social
media and you wondered, I'll just go ahead
and say now, we were just fine. Nothing
major happened to us. We were very, very
lucky in
this one. We we just had some light
branches and stuff to pick up in the
yard. That's it. Very minimal. So we're back,
and we're keeping it light and easy with
a BDSM
response episode.
I even picked one that I don't know
that I'll rant,
but I know one eyebrow went straight up
the moment I read it. So I must
be a doozy.
Maybe. We'll see.
Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this
is your first time listening, glad to have
you. If you're back for another week, welcome
back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday
for your kinky pleasure and education and show
notes are found at loving BDSM dot net.
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I will forever fucking hate, loving d s
and the number one. So at loving d
s one or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving
BDSM, or you can watch us live stream
the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in
the show notes. Take it away.
Did you I'm not good at innuendo. I
think you completely missed that. No. I I
Oh. Yeah. Then you didn't even give me
a look for the satisfaction.
Nope. Podcast listeners,
we were talking about how good JB is
with magic buttons.
And then he just he just didn't even
respond.
Kept his old poker face.
Is that what it's gonna be like this
week?
Yeah. Yeah. It probably is. Okay. Let's get
into things. Before we get into anything, I
would like to thank, this week's sponsor,
not us,
the FLOR
app. FLOR is a dating app, for safely
exploring one's kinks and desires. It is not
a kink specific
dating app, but it is a kink friendly
dating app. They do not have a problem
with kinky folks,
showing up and being there.
They say the way they say it is
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on an adventure as soon as you're open
and honest with with yourself and and the
people you're connecting with, and also that you
respect boundaries. We love a place that understands
the boundaries are meant to be respected. Yes.
They
how do I put this?
I've lost my words literally in the middle
of the thought.
I am so good at this.
Every user is verify verified,
and you have control over,
what kind of stuff you receive
from folks.
They also do not allow
to like, the the the certain, like, the
places where you're allowed to show your tits
y'all.
So they don't allow certain things to be
sent at all.
There is a free option. And then if
you want more, there is a paid option.
So you can download it for free to
check it out, see if it's, you know,
your vibe. If you're like, yeah. Yeah. I
like this space.
And then if you want all of the
functionality, then you can choose
to to sign up and pay. The link
is in the places,
if you would like to check that out.
Yeah. I I the last time I was
in it so I signed up
right before the last time that they sponsored
because I wanted I wanted to check the
vibe.
The very next day, I don't do dating
apps y'all. Y'all, I didn't have to. I
came up before. That was, like, the only
way to meet somebody.
If you wanna meet somebody the way I
did, you're gonna have to go back to
2012 and start a blog. Okay. So
sorry.
The like, within a day or so, I
had a whole bunch of people
that they had, like, shown that they were
like, this person is interested in your profile.
And I just did, like, the same little
selfie that's not, like, not my boobs. You
know? Just it was short hair. Not this
color. Sorry. Hope nobody feels like I'm, catfishing
them.
And it it was pretty fast. I was
like, okay. But I also like the fact
that they didn't know I was I could
see who they were. I like that. Yeah.
I don't yeah. And and what,
I I signed up too. Mhmm. And I
I actually was able to link our accounts.
Yes. That's cool. A couple. Yeah. That's the
other thing I like about Flor because, yes,
you can be single and monogamous.
You can be non monogamous,
but looking for a new partner or other
partners. And you get to, like, you get
to connect with potential partners if they also
wanna be on that app. You get
to designate
which one which one are you. Are you
monogamous or non monogamous? And I like that
the more information you in my opinion, the
more information you can put out there, the
more, hopefully, you weed out the ones you
don't want. They just self select out and
go, oh, that's not my that's not what
I'm looking for. And then you have a
little less, you know,
to deal with. So, yeah. If you are
looking for an app that is not like
the other apps,
and you don't necessarily need it to be
kink focused, just kink friendly, kink aware, check
out Fleur. You can try it for free.
Download it for free. Link is in the
places. Thank you to Fleur for
sponsoring.
Thank you.
Okay. Okay. We have announcements. Mhmm. Announcements. Announcements.
Announce. There will not be a Monday episode
next week. Again, we're taking a second Monday
off. And we'll talk more about that in
the bonus section. But we it's it's a
little bit we had to do it for
our mental health. Yeah. We are here doing
this episode
because we wanted to, because it's a fun
one.
But trying to
go just do a little bit more was
just No. One ask too many for for
us right now.
And it was killing me because it even
wasn't even gonna be a q and a
episode. We're gonna do a review. We haven't
done a review in ages. Right. Lord, I
accidentally made our Instagram
blow up, and now all kinds of people
would like us to do reviews.
It's weird. It's been a hot minute, y'all.
Mhmm. And here we are. So, yeah, not
nothing on Monday. So if if you,
are like, where the hell did they go?
We're getting back into it. We're it we
had stuff come up. We'll talk about it
later. Yeah.
The, second announcement
is that this Friday, October 18th, the day
this episode comes out for audio podcast listeners,
9:30 PM is our monthly livestream.
We hang out. It gets random and weird,
and also we answer kinky, questions. True. We
do. Do a kinky q and a.
Starts 9:30 PM EST. We do our best,
barring anything weird, to go until midnight.
That is probably as late as we will
ever go, but certainly this weekend because we're
working this weekend, and I don't mind. I'm
excited to be doing that. Yep. But,
so, yeah, that'll be,
on YouTube, 9:30 PM live stream. You can
come hang out with us. We make great
background noise.
Also,
I have had people go, I had stuff
I needed to do, but I just put
you on the background. My feelings are hurt.
Put me on the background. Do that for
all the episodes. But this one, there's no
set topic. We are just we have talked
about bacon. We have talked about pie. We
have talked about way too much about Star
Trek and Star Wars. So books, like, whatever
comes up is very random. We call it
a virtual munch because
in a way it is. We're all just
we're all just showing up in whatever we
talk about. We talk about it. Sometimes it's
kinky, sometimes it's not. So
that
is the announcements.
Nice. Okay. So we are doing a BDSM
Reddit response. It has been a hot minute
since we've done one. Mhmm.
I found one in the,
BDSM, am I the asshole, subreddit run by
our friend, Princess Rara.
And then the rest are from the BDSM
advice
subreddit.
And the last one,
I I can never guarantee what will make
me rant y'all, but I I did I
did have a little attitude about it as
I was reading it. So
I'm gonna believe the person asked that question
in good faith, but I'm I've got thoughts.
So let's get into it. We're gonna we're
gonna just
go down the list. Just dive right in.
See what,
see what comes up. So Okay.
First one
why are all these things on the screen
and what is happening? Okay. This one is,
a long one. So bear with this. Am
I the asshole?
Am I the asshole
for not wanting my dom to have a
say in my financial standing slash saving ability?
So here's the backstory. I had a dom
who lives 2 hours away from me, and
I've seen him two times, both for a
full weekend, arrive Friday evening, leave Sunday afternoon.
So the 1st weekend was hard on me
as it was more than I bargained for,
but he was very good about apologizing for
overstepping, ignoring my signs of distress,
getting drunk and hurting me, and overall just
not leaving me with the best experience.
I felt hurt as much as I was
uncomfortable with some of what went down, so
I gave him a second chance. The second
weekend I saw I saw him, it was
much more calm and focused more on my
pleasure and regaining my trust. He booked us
a really nice room. We bathed together. It
was much easier to trust him after that.
We had a lot of good talks after
that weekend about how much I appreciated everything.
So about a month ago, I had reached
out saying I'd like to meet up again.
The last time I saw him was July,
and then I was ready to try more
things knowing he would listen to me more
and be more careful. We talked about everything
we wanted for a few weeks and decided
on a date. I let him know my
cards were maxed out, so I'd etransfer him
money for food for us that weekend if
he could use his card.
This started a mild argument about me going
broke for sex.
I thought it was uncalled for as I'm
21 and have been financially independent and capable
for several years. He said he was only
looking out for me. I thanked him, but
told him not to worry and moved on.
This morning, 4 hours before I was supposed
to get on a bus, he asked me
to pick up some stuff and I joked
about being broke and having $2.51
to my name. I do really have no
money, but I paid my fare off the
trip and made sure I had everything I'd
need. He then said he was no longer
comfortable this knowing how broke I was.
Something to note, I have been off work
for 2 months for medical leave and have
been collecting EI. I'm thinking that must be,
like, some sort of temporary
funds or whatever.
I'm due to get more of that on
October 1st and frequently run out of money
before I'm paid. I always have everything I
need. I know how to handle everything. And,
honestly, I enjoy shopping and going out. I
still live with a family, so my rent
is minimal. I don't have to buy groceries.
I'm extremely lucky to be in this position.
Anyway, I told him how I didn't wanna
continue this as I felt he was taking
a level of control I didn't want, telling
me he only wanted to see me again
once I started saving money. And he flipped
me for painting him as a quote controlling
asshole,
even though I had explained I felt my
trust had been broken and it was unfair.
He said, I'm not going to try to
get you to understand shit to you to
understand shit since you think I'm nothing more
than another controlling asshole and have obviously built
an image in your head. I make it
very clear I don't like taking advantage of
people, and I made it clear early on
that if you don't have enough money to
do this comfortably, then we can postpone.
You were less than the lowest paper note
from bankruptcy.
That's not comfortable, end quote. That's all what
he said. Back to the person. Now hear
me out. Having dollars in my account having
yeah. Dollars in my account is normal for
me. It's not uncomfortable or scary as I'm
lucky to know there's food at home and
a roof over my head. But despite me
explaining all this, he still wouldn't see me.
I had spent a $100 on bus tickets
that can't be refunded and bought many supplies
that would no. I would not use on
my own and have been preparing for weeks.
After our disagreement on how it was handled,
he blocked me. And honestly, I hope he
stays gone. In my opinion, that was unfair.
Too long didn't read. Dom won't see me
because I'm too broke to to live what
he sees as comfortable,
even though he's aware I have practically no
bills and have been off work for months
and still was making this work. Am I
the one in the wrong here? My opinion
is financial should not contribute,
to if you want to sleep with me
or not, regardless of if you're trying to,
quote, help.
I think it's just all bad from the
top. Yeah. Yep.
Yeah.
You know, there there are people who do
incorporate
Oh, absolutely. Financial,
you know, we'd call it dominance, I guess,
in their relationship.
Sure. It's not for everybody. Mhmm. It is
not for everybody.
And, you know,
she seems to have an understanding
of what
were they.
Go for they. Yeah. There was no. That's
okay. No specification. They so, you know, they,
kind of have an understanding.
And to me,
them saying, you know, I don't want this,
he he overstepped the bounds. Well, see, that
there was no negotiation here. No. No. There
was no negotiation of here's what makes me
comfortable, here's what makes you know, what are
you comfortable with? Mhmm. If you know, it
sounds to me like the dom thought that
all they had to say was if you
don't have enough money, let's postpone, and then
that that was the end of the conversation
and they had made themselves clear. Yeah. Clearly,
they had not. This person was still planning
for this visit Yeah. And it's only a
few hours out that they call up, that
is suspicious to me. I think that's less
about, oh, you don't have enough money and
more about because if they immediately blocked after
this argument,
did you just not want the visit and
now you're feeling pressured and now you're, like,
lashing out and making it their fault for
being too broke for you? Like, there's
everybody's gonna have a different opinion about this.
I don't think there's a right opinion about
this. But my opinion at this moment is
until we are in a legit dynamic and
my money has any bearing on your life,
there's it doesn't matter how much money I
have in my account. Now Yeah. I do
think
it's okay for him to say, I don't
want we haven't negotiated this. I don't really
want to pay can't or don't want to
pay for things for you. Mhmm. But if
you have that conversation like adults, then you
can,
you know, work around it. It could be
a
maybe he couldn't afford to pay for their
food and lash out and got absent who
knows? Who knows?
But, yeah, living completely separate lives, only seeing
each other every few months for just a
week at a time, you don't get a
single fucking say over the money in my
account. And if I am comfortable
with the life I'm leading and getting to
and fro and taking care of myself Yeah.
I think the only place where absolutely this
dom had every right to, like, go, I
don't wanna do that Yeah. Was the, will
you pay for the food on your card,
and I'll send the money back to you.
Not that I think that that's unreasonable for
somebody to to to have that conversation, go,
hey. Can we do this? I also think
it's not unreasonable for somebody else to go,
no. I don't wanna do that. You don't
know their relationship with money. You don't know
how they feel about feeling like people owe
them or trying to get paid back. Like
every like money is such a touchy thing.
But I don't think this was about money.
Maybe not.
I I think it ended up being a
handy excuse of, I just don't wanna see
it. You know? This isn't this isn't easy,
fun, and carefree, and I don't have to
have any responsibility.
You're bringing an issue to me where I'm
gonna have a sense of responsibility, and I
don't want that. But instead of the dom
just saying something like that, it became about
the money. Yeah. Yeah. And to me, it
it shows a a certain immaturity
on on the other person,
you know, on on the dominant because, you
know, people have arguments.
Yeah. Alright? You know, whether you're you're you're
friends, whether you're, you know, a couple, whether
you're you're married, whatever the the the
people are gonna argue. It it's just human
nature.
And, you know, you have,
healthy communication and healthy arguing because there is
such a thing as, you know You and
I disagree more frequently than I think either
of us wish,
quite frankly.
And and, you know, to to just, you
know, block someone and and that's that's the
tell right there. Because this wasn't a,
I am I am really worried about you
and I am uncomfortable with us and or
I also cannot help pay for the things
that you can't afford
or I'm unwilling to because of my own
reasons that, you know, that I I think
many people might find reasonable for somebody to
go, I don't wanna pay for somebody that's,
like, not my long term kind of person.
Instead of having that adult conversation,
it becomes,
well, this is your fault. And with only
so you're not that worried about a person's
money if you cancel a trip on a
nonrefundable ticket. Yeah. If you
but also,
I'm happy this person did not go there
just because they had a nonrefundable
ticket Right. Because who knows what would play
there. That would've been a that could've been
a bigger mistake. Yes. The red flags, though,
were long before this conversation about money. It
was that very first visit. Mhmm. Like,
I understand
going too hard too fast the first time
you're together, been there, done that. We we
kinda did that too. Yeah. But please let
me go back
to where I immediately disliked this individual
because it was
ignoring signs of distress, getting drunk
and hurting me, overall just not leaving me
with the best experience, then getting drunk alone,
I'm like, because you can miss signs of
distress with a new partner. To me, that
means you just slow the hell down and
become extra careful, but okay. Right.
So I feel like there were already signs
that this was not probably a good situation
to begin with. Now
out of the actual question asked,
I know my opinion.
Is this person
who is pissed that the whole thing got
like, not letting the dom control the money
or have a say over the money? Are
they the asshole?
The person who asked the question, do you
think they're the asshole? No. Right. I don't
No. The thing is is yeah. They're definitely
not the asshole because until it is negotiated,
nobody has a say over your money. But
the way this story plays out,
this person was not
trying to control about the money. This was
I really think this was something else. I
think there was something else at play, and
the money was just
a convenient reason
personally.
It's possible. Personally. It's entirely possible.
Okay.
Next one. Now we're into the BDSM advice
Mhmm. Sub Reddit.
You saw the headline. I I saw the
headline, and that was enough for me right
there. Damn it. You always gotta get context,
but I know. I know. I know. Just
here we go. I know.
My dom has multiple subs, but doesn't want
me to do the same.
They say, I know the answers are going
to say talk to him, and I absolutely
will, but I just wanted to get some
outside perspectives as well.
I've been seeing Adam for a while. He's
great, and things are getting a little relationship
y outside of the dynamic also. He has
one other sub and is looking for more.
He doesn't mind if I date other men,
but he doesn't want me engaging in anything
d s related with anyone other than him.
This doesn't seem fair as he does those
things with others, and it also limits my
options as I am fairly consistently
bruised and marked, which turns off a lot
of vanilla men.
Yeah. I can see that. Anyway, just looking
at people's thoughts on this. If you're a
sub, what would you do? And if you're
a dom, do you have this rule and
why?
I don't like the some for me and
none for these Yeah. Kind of thing.
It's good for me, but not for you.
Right. Yeah. I can do this, but you
can't. Mhmm.
Here's the thing. The bare surface, it's an
incompatibility thing. Yeah. If you are meeting somebody
and you're deciding, do I wanna be in
a relationship with them? And you nonmonogamy
is fine, but
somebody has these really strict rules for for
you that they don't have for themselves. Yeah.
That's an incompatibility. Go find somebody who is
wants to live under that rule and does
not have a problem with that because those
people exist. Your pool's probably limited, but they
exist. True. But this is we've been together.
We're talking about this.
And now
this is how
Nope.
Well, we can't be done now. That was
30 seconds. That was too easy. What are
your thoughts?
I I mean, my thoughts are, you know,
it it's
not fair. I mean, even like like you
with us.
Mhmm. Alright?
You know,
I I do go out, I I date,
I see.
Mhmm. You can't.
Right up. You know? No. You you can't.
I don't want you to. Yeah. That wouldn't
work. Right?
I mean, you'd you're in theory, but, you
know It's a choice I'm making. I have
the option.
And and we know I'm gonna go for
toppy people anyway.
My personal choices is I can't imagine having
another partner that I call daddy. Like, the
title label
honorific is sort of it's very meaningful to
me. You are daddy. Could there be another
caregiver
type?
Maybe. May I mean, I can't I can't
imagine it, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.
But, yeah, it's it is exactly like if
you're like, okay, man. I go see all
these subs and bottoms, and I'm gonna, like,
live my best top life out here. And
you're like, okay. No no doms. Yeah. You
you you can date, but
only these people I'm comfortable with. Yeah. And
that says more about the person setting the
role than anything else. Why are you so
insecure in your own dominance that you can't
let them experience
dom top whatever energy with somebody else? Are
you are you worried that they'll start comparing
and find you lacking and wanting?
These would be my questions.
Yeah. I think it's fine.
It's fine to have that preference. If that
preference gets laid out as part of a
we're figuring out if we're compatible.
Yeah. I this is who I'm looking for
and how I I would like life to
be. Because here's the thing. You can like
want life to be like that all you
want and then never find a person willing
to give it to you. But that's okay.
You get to want what you want. But
to just say, yep. This is how it
is. If you're gonna be my sub,
you know, sucks to suck, I the I
would not be telling the the submissive to
be talking to no damn body. I'd be
telling them, maybe you just need to, like,
lose their number and tell them to have
a good life and go live your best
kinky life with somebody else.
Like
and I know in the non monogamous side
of the world, in and out of the
kink community, people have very strong feelings about
rule setting
and boundary setting in nonmonogamous
relationships about what one partner is sort of,
you know,
air quote, allowed to decree for somebody else,
and that is not a boundary. That's a
rule you have set for somebody else. And
even in power
exchange, some rules don't aren't allowed to be
set. Right?
Yeah.
The boundary would be, if it's a boundary,
the dom would go, if you date other
doms, I cannot continue doing so I don't
want to be in this relationship anymore. That's
a fair boundary to have. Mhmm. But to
make it a rule in your power exchange,
But to make it a rule in your
power exchange? Yeah. No. Nope. I'm not
nah. No. No. No. No. Uh-uh.
Mm-mm.
But and that's I mean, it's my my
non trusting nature.
Why what are you so insecure about that
you can't handle Mhmm. A a submissive of
yours
experiencing dominance of somebody else? And I'd I'd
be curious if he's that way with the
other.
That would be a good question. Probably, though.
I have I have come across them online
and when I mean come across them, I'm
like, seen them out there in the wild.
I I do not interact with with
people in general, but certainly not those types,
who just collect subs. Like, what are they
actually doing? There comes a point in time
that you're either cookie cut it cutting,
you know, stuff where it's all the same
for everybody and so then it's probably a
little less meaningful. Or you're saying you have
all these subs and you really do not
have all these subs because everybody has a
limit in just how much human interaction
at that level that they can do and
maintain a life and, like, have a job
and pay your fucking bills and mow your
lawn or whatever. Right? Like
so I tend to give side eye
to these certain types of doms
who, not doing it on a professional level,
not keeping every relationship casual, but are just
collecting
the submissives
Yeah.
And trying to to run their lives at
this level. Like, I just I don't
I'm giving side eye every time.
Look. Somebody's gonna show up in a comment
somewhere telling me how they're the one exception
and they can do this. Great. You're the
exception, not the rule.
That's just what that is. Also, I might
give you side eye. Just saying.
Just saying.
So
Okay. That was actually kinda yeah. The moment
I saw that title, I was like, oh,
yeah. We're
okay. Here's the next one. And this one
I think is interesting because I think it's
one of those where
the question they're asking is not actually they
don't that's not really what we're talking about
here. So here we go. Okay.
Is there a way to learn to like
impact play more?
My boyfriend and I, submissive,
have been exploring a bit of a dom
sub relationship. However, he's into impact play and
I am not actually. I'm a real wimp
when it comes to pain.
I do want to please him though. Is
there any way for me to get more
into it? I do sometimes like the sting
afterwards because it reminds me of what I
went through for him, but I really can't
last long and I want to do better
to please him. Could I just be giving
up too soon? Am I a bad sub
for not just putting up with more? He
hasn't even made me bruise except for 2
hits during one session.
I think he's been going pretty easy on
me. I see posts or comments where subs
are taking a lot of hits and getting
very bruised. I feel like a bad sub.
We're pretty early in the dynamic though. He
hasn't made me feel bad or even complained,
but I know he wants to do more.
So the question is not really the question.
You know this. Right? Go ahead. What are
your thoughts? Yeah.
You know, I I
if if a person is not
a masochist,
you know, there's not really anything you can
No. You know, there's no
pain training
No. So to speak, you know? Mm-mm.
So go ahead. No. You had thoughts. Mm-mm.
Go. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay. Go.
For the record, he's telling me to speak.
Okay? I'm not just interrupting. Baby girl, talk.
So here's the thing.
You can, as a submissive, decide to
endure something Mhmm. For a partner.
That's a choice you can make. True. And
you find the pleasure that you get from
doing the thing,
from the the after effects, from whatever whatever.
And that's the service of what yeah. Whatever.
Like, whatever it is that speaks to your
bottom subheart, and you're like, yes. For to
get this, I will do this. I will
allow this to happen.
But, also,
you can do impact that's not even really
that painful.
Like True. It could be that
they
don't like certain types of pain. Mhmm. It
could be they they don't like certain it
could be they just don't like impact play.
I mean, that's let's just put that out
there. That's very valid. I I mean yeah.
I mean, that and that's absolutely true because
some people like duds, some people like sting,
you know. And I mean, you and I
have done impact play that's it feels a
little niche because not it's not real common,
but it did not actually physically hurt. It
was literally
it's a a punching thing that a dumb
friend of former friend of ours showed him.
And, it's not painful to me. There's nothing
about it as painful,
but it's this very pleasant, thuddy sensation that
I like.
So if I was telling somebody who said
they did not like impact play because they
do not like the sensation they're feeling, I
would say, okay. If this is something you're
willing to try,
you need to try more sensations. Also, there's
nothing wrong with a partner, a top, or
a dom
striking you lightly. Like Right. Little taps and
smacks can count. Is it
as much as maybe the dom has experienced
in the past would love to experience? No.
But you and I have had this conversation.
There are some partners you've had that you
love playing with them because you could wail
on them in ways you cannot wail on
me. Correct. But that doesn't mean you don't
like what you can do with me. Right.
Right. Because the real thing here go ahead.
I I I think the the the thing
the underlying thing that sticks out to me
is the fact that this person is comparing
themselves to other subs who have all these
bruises,
and you know, no. No. You can't do
that. Be you. Do what you
enjoy. Do what you like. Who gives a
fuck what others submissives are doing? Right. Right.
Right.
Because part of it let's be real. Some
people can get welled on and never bruise
and mark. Does that somehow mean that they
went through less impact? No. Of course not.
Some people, you could look at them cross
eyed, and now they have a red mark
on their ass. And they barely it you
know, somebody else's perspective, quote, barely got touched.
Right? Mhmm. So what other people are doing
has no fucking bearing on what you do.
What you're doing. Yeah. If what you're doing
is something and that this is the first
thing to a person has to get through
their head. Is this something I want to
be doing? Mhmm. Missus have to be very
careful because that desire to please a dom
can sometimes outweigh your own fucking wants, needs,
and boundaries. And safety too. Right. And so
sometimes you will agree to things that you
genuinely
hate and wish you were not doing because
you want to make your partner happy. You
think it makes them happy. A good partner
does not wanna do shit with you that
you don't wanna do. Yeah. I know. They
don't wanna do something that you are dreading
every time it happens. And I am not
talking about
specific scenarios and scenes that are about the
sadism and masochism
of, you know, taunting and teasing and kind
of consensually making somebody a little miserable. That's
that's not what I'm talking about. If it
is a kink act that you just fucking
hate and don't want,
the right partner for you doesn't wanna be
doing it to you. That's not that's not
fun for them either. Right?
So that's the first thing that somebody's gotta
get through their head. Do I actually wanna
be doing this? If what you want and
there's nothing wrong also
with wanting, I think, for submissive to want
to give their partner something that they want,
but there's gotta be a balance there.
So it's I do things that JB likes
that I don't love, that if you gave
me the option, I'd probably go, yeah. No.
I'd like to skip that, please.
Why do I do it? Because I like
to make him happy. Because I like to
endure things. I totally, like, relate to that
whole getting the sting knowing I went through
it. I think that's a valid reason to
do shit
as long as other needs are being met.
And everything isn't just about you enduring,
unless you were that type of person that
gets off on that. Those people exist too.
It's complicated
is my point.
The the thing this person is doing to
fuck themselves over
is comparing themselves to what other people are
doing. I mean, you know, saying saying that
is just like some people
would say, oh, I'm a terrible sub because
I can't get to subspace.
I've heard that before.
Yeah. What's that got to do with anything?
Exactly.
Exactly. I know. But and that that's the
the beauty of the Internet and online spaces
is that we get to connect and see
it, that we're not alone.
The downside,
one of many, is that we compare. We
go, oh, I'm not doing it that way,
so am I doing something wrong? No. I
you know, I As long as what you're
doing is consensual and it and it's, you
know,
risk aware. Right. That's So if somebody wanted
to see if they liked Impact Play more
than they think that they do, I would
whatever you're currently doing, back off on the
intensity.
Okay? There's no wrong level to start at.
A light tap that does not create Mhmm.
Any pain is just as valid as, like,
hauling back and smacking somebody. Right? And and,
you know, thing too,
if if it's not so much pain, what
about, you know, having maybe having some clothing
on? Yep. You were using a pal last
night that usually, like, I can't can't do
for very long. Mhmm. I actually had the
covers over my ass, and I was able
to go way longer. Right. That can can
also blunt it. The other thing is to
try different things. Has it been a hand?
Well, try an object. Has it been wood?
Well, try a different material. Has it been
a god help you if it's been a
cane, and that's what you started with. Back
the fuck off. Okay?
Right. Like, that's a thing.
If what you if what you genuinely want
to explore is, can I enjoy impact play
for impact play's sake, then you just lightly
and slowly, you try different sensations and different
tools and different methods?
Because
me standing up and bent over
Mhmm. Is and getting smacked on the ass
is
a completely different sensation than me laying flat
across JB's lap. So there's position. There's a
lot of things somebody can do to go,
is there an impact I like? But, ultimately,
it's valid to just not like it. And
let and let's just, you know, even with
the hand. Mhmm. Okay? You know, if you
if you hit and you come up or
you come down with your hit, you come
straight in,
you know, and then there's if you if
you hit and then you, you know,
keep the pressure on for a second. Mhmm.
There's lots of Lots of different ways to
to change it up. So it gets really
complex. Yes. There are ways to test to
see, can I like impact play? Because and
that's the other thing. It is okay to
be very picky and specific about the sensation
you like. There's nothing wrong with that.
I so the way it works for me
is
if you're asking me what I like, I
like thud, I like slow, I don't necessarily
need a bunch of pain. I just like
a consistent and rhythmic because I zone out
to it. My brain shuts off.
It's like a deep tissue massage.
If you're asking my preference about impact, that's
I don't care what the implement is. That's
what the fuck I like.
What I will endure is
the stuff I don't like. It's the sting.
It's a swathe of a cane
within
very defined specific limits. Now if I'm in
my masochist headspace,
you it's fine. Be rough. Do stuff I
wouldn't like in other times because that's for
me, that's not about the impact so much
as it is about whatever else is going
on. But then there were things I will
endure. I will endure because I have a
sense of pride that I got through it.
I will endure because I know
this is making JB's
little sadistic daddy side just so fucking happy.
And that brings me joy too. But it
is a balance. It can't be all what
I want or all what you want. It's
gotta be A mix. Some happy ground in
the middle. But it is I mean,
impact play is not the only goddamn thing
people can do together.
True. You can go, nope. We're not doing
that. And go find other things you like.
Mhmm.
And that to me is more meaningful
than trying to get to some
artificial level in your head of what you
think other people are doing because that's what
the picture says or that's what they say
on the Internet.
Can we all just, like, go in with
to any situation where we don't know people
assuming that what we're seeing is fake? Because
sometimes it's gonna be. Right? Somebody's gonna say,
oh my god. Look at this
bruising. And they've edited their picture.
Sometimes they're gonna go, oh my god. This
was the roughest thing I've ever been through.
And that will be true for them, but
you don't know what that means for them.
You know what that means in from your
perspective. You're thinking, oh my god. The roughest.
That's that must be this, that, and the
other. And it could be that that person
marks real easily so it doesn't take much
for them.
Right. Like, you literally don't know. So
we gotta stop the fucking comparison game because
it only it hurts everybody. Yeah. It does.
The thing that makes me feel really good
about this particular question is the sub going,
my dom's not trying to pressure me. Yes.
They want me to have a good time.
Mhmm. So this is about what they think
is true about being a submissive and what
they've internalized.
Mhmm.
And
yeah.
And Silent feels that there's a,
PDF
guide in in this whole discussion here. So
I mean,
there is. It's on our Etsy
shop. Link in the places. Okay.
Next one.
Okay. I think this one will hit close
to home for folks. Okay.
How to deal with a change in dynamics.
For a while, I was over the moon
on top of the world, ultra happy. It
was because I had become a stay at
home mom, and my sex drive was up
very high. My day was spent thinking about
how to please my husband sexually and non
sexually.
I felt looked after and very satisfied. He
seemed a bit tired but also the happiest
he's ever been. Our relationship was hashtag goals.
Not my words people would actually tell us.
Anyhow, I had to go back to work
full time and it has completely blown the
dynamics out of the water. I can't see
my husband as a sexy dom daddy when
I'm proving providing just as much as he
is. I'm always tired and we've gone down
to having sex only once or twice a
week. It was once or twice a day
free use.
I'm frustrated. It's not his fault. It's not
my fault. It can't be helped that everything
is expensive, and I need to work. So
my question is, can we fix this, or
do I need to quit work? Okay. Look.
If you need money to survive, please don't
quit work. Yeah. I know. The moment you
can, go for it. I fucking support that
shit.
If if you're trying to survive, just go
your ass to work. Yeah.
Yeah. But also yeah. It it sucks to
have had the dynamic. You were like, this
is it. Mhmm. And then life sucks you
up. Because your rug pulled out from under
you. Yeah. Yeah.
That that's tough.
I think there there needs to be
time and space to feel okay with just
being
pissed, sad, disappointed, whatever the emotions are. It's
like yeah. It it's like a grieving. Sure.
You had a thing you really liked and
you can't have it right now. And and
it's it's gone. So, yeah, there there you're
gonna be going through a grieving process. Absolutely.
Mhmm.
The thing is, you're gonna have to come
out of that, and and
I know it's not easy.
It it is almost,
you know, one of those things, you know,
people don't like the the patience word. No.
Alright. Well, there's another word that goes with
it called change.
Change sucks. Change sucks. I hate it. Change
sucks, but it happens.
So, you know, you're you're gonna have to
go through that grieving process,
and and when you come out the other
end of that, you're you're
both gonna need to sit down and talk.
Yeah. Because at this point, it's about it's
you had at what at the time was
probably your ideal. This was exactly how you
wanted it to go. You can't life is
not letting you have that. So now it's
time to go, what can I not live
without? Yeah. What is the thing that if
I can get this Mhmm. I might not
be the happiest I've ever been, but I
will be satisfied. There there there's you've you've
got to find a middle ground. Mhmm.
Okay? Because yeah. For for the time being,
the way the way things are with with
their lives, yeah, they're not gonna have what
they had. It it's it's just impossible.
But, you know,
you gotta find that gotta talk, gotta find
that middle ground. And and you know what?
From what you're saying, you know, yeah. You're
tired. You got this. You got that. Yeah,
buddy. Life.
Life. Oh, boy. Life.
You know? And and
you're you're probably gonna have to
adjust and and, you know, several times in
the process. Oh, yeah. It's a constant influx
kinda thing, especially as
life will continue to life at you. Yeah.
I I I have to do this or
otherwise, I will run screaming into the night
and never come back. I have to believe
it's all ebb and flow. Yeah. And how
long your ebb is and how long your
flow is,
that's pure fucking luck and nobody can predict.
We are in an ebb of life right
now. And we hate it and it sucks.
Yep.
And some days,
some weeks,
we are not our best DSE selves. We
there have been months where it was not
peak performance.
And then
we have a moment, we get a moment,
we make a moment, and we come back
to ourselves. And we have a really good
moment. And what's
what I'm finally after all these years of
being pissed off about our the ebb we're
in right now Yeah. Is that I actually
really appreciate when we come together in those
brief moments. Well, you know what? Because now
I know what it's like to not get
hardly anything. Well, you know what? We we
have entered our our Florida fall,
and, take me out to the take you
out to the woodshop.
I'm a let you.
I'm a let you. You have to make
sure the windows are down because the kid's
home now. He will come running if he
hears me scream. True. True. Just saying. Or
I've been guess that's the new challenge. Just
don't make a sound. Right.
I'm a little scared of that, but I'm
I'm game for it.
So
the way things were,
you may never get back to exactly what
that is, but you eventually may get back
to some version of that. In the meantime,
it's about finding
what can be good enough
that you can just kinda
keep things going, knowing that it won't be
like that every fucking day. It won't be
like that every week. There will be times
where you can't do shit. There'll be times
when you can do more. There'll be times
when you do some third middle combination,
and it's imperfect, and it's messy, and sometimes
it's unpredictable.
And,
you're like me and you don't like unpredictability.
Yeah. That sucks. But it's also kind of
the Yeah. The nature of things. It's why
and I, you know, I would never say
this to somebody going through it, like, to
their face, like, in a judgy way, because
that's not what anybody needs in a moment
like this. But it is why I do
repeatedly talk about
the
reality
of what power exchange is when the fantasy
is no longer an option.
You know, new relationship energy, the peak of
your negotiation,
everything's hot and heavy, everything's going well.
I'm glad for, you know, for anybody who
gets that experience. But the reality is is
that reality will come crashing in like the
Kool Aid man, and you're gonna go,
wait. Alright. This perfect scenario we've been able
to live in the sort of this honeymoon
new relationship energy period
is is not there anymore,
and it's not working and life won't even
give us the space to yeah. And that
is the reality of it. That is for
some people, they take a complete break from
things because it's too much or they don't
want it if they can't have it in
the exact way they want it. And I
that's valid and fair. Yeah. Others, and we
are this way, we just adjust. We just
find the things that we can hold on
to as meaningful for our individual kinks selves.
We find the points of connection
that are enough for us. They are
not absolute. They are not peak performance. They
are not our ideal, but they're enough
so that we can still, you know, think
about our dynamic and go, yeah. This is
where I wanna be, and we're doing what
I want what we wanna do. Right?
And then when the sometimes you have to
make the opportunity and sometimes you get to
come across the opportunity. When the opportunity comes
up to have something that feels like
the good old days,
we grab on with both fucking hands and
hold on for the ride for as long
as we have it. Now our current life
is, like, we get an evening. We get
we get midnight sex. That was that was
a good night.
We get, you know,
10 minutes of the paddle. We like Yeah.
For us, that works. It won't work for
everybody.
And that is okay. You know, you have
to find
what some people are gonna go, I don't
want I don't want crumbs. I I want
all or I want none. Cool.
Fine. You got make sure your partner's on
board because that's that's gonna be misery for
somebody.
Mhmm. But I think the rest of us
just kinda go, yeah. Yeah. This is this
is not what I thought I was signing
up for, but
but
I love him as my partner. I want
him in my life. I want what we
can have as we have it. I don't
care that it's not ideal
because ideal was temporary to begin with. Ideal
was kind of fake. Ideal for us, our
ideal amount of fuckery and kinky sex was
when we were long distance and on those
weekends we could get together.
Because it was this one time you could
kinda go, there are no responsibilities. I've taken
a week off of work. I'm in a
different city.
My real life is not even a factor
here. Right. And that that that is something
that until
we're empty nesters and somehow find that money
tree in the backyard,
you know, we might not get again. So
it's what do we build together? What do
we have that's solid
that doesn't need
some of the outside stuff that's not always
within our control? Right?
That that
is what you know,
for long term relationships who are trying to
live it, that's my recommendation.
It's, you know, if you don't wanna give
it up completely but you're unhappy with what
you don't have, I think you just make
yourself miserable.
You gotta find what
is enough.
Mhmm. Whatever that bare minimum is.
That's just my thoughts on it.
Okay. Hold on.
Okay.
Here we go. Alright.
Am I really submissive?
I'm a newbie submissive for over a year,
and I've only played with 2 doms casually.
I realized from this, I want something intimate
and hopefully long term.
Last week, I connected with a dom on
Fett, and we exchanged numbers. He's great and
very committed to building something long term. He's
very attentive and eager to find out more
about me. We're still getting to know one
another, but we've already made agreements that I
must fulfill.
Daily calls, daily pictures, checking in during the
day. These are not hard tasks at all,
but I'm a bit disorganized at times and
have forgotten to do these tasks already.
He rightfully called me out on these. And
even though I understand where he's coming from
and immediately apologized,
I'm feeling a bit of resistance. I've not
been in a relationship really so I've never
had to prioritize like this.
This made me think that am I really
submissive in this aspect? He's spoken about how
he eventually wants a dynamic with a sub
where there's total power exchange. I've never experienced
this before and I feel nervous about giving
myself like this, especially as we're long distance.
I'm afraid that I'm going to struggle to
be consistent and I don't want to hurt
or disappoint him. Am I right for this?
They've been talking a week.
I know.
I know. And this is where we're at.
Yeah.
We're both
like like your your mom who's your dad
who's like,
you're too young for this. Right. Right. Right.
And the old people are like, what are
you doing?
Sorry. We're both speechless because it's like a
week, and you already got, like, a list
of things to do. Yeah. And we're talking
about total power exchange in the future?
It's been a week. Do you even know
this person's name yet?
I don't I do not wanna laugh at
a newbie's message because it is very easy
to fall into this. I know. I know.
But I do not like that after a
week I know somebody for a week, only
been doing you know, trying to figure out
themselves as a submissive for a year. Been
doing this with this person for a week.
They've got a list of things they have
to do every day. I wanna know what
the dom's doing every day.
And they're because they can't keep up. Yeah.
Am I really submissive?
Well, you know, for for one thing what
did they say? A year?
Yeah. They've they've Newbies Newbies for over a
year. Over a year. And and only played
The dogs casually. Casually. Right. So So probably
no power exchange experience Correct. To to speak
of.
You know
That that per that person got some learning
to do.
So much learning to do. And see,
an experienced responsible dom is gonna be like,
oh, yeah. You're kinda new. You've never done
power change before. Let's talk about what the
fuck this even means. Yeah. Let's get to
know one another. Right. Let's find out what
the fuck you know. Right.
You know,
you know, where are you at with Journeying
the Bear and where I am? You know,
are are we
working towards the same goals to build a
relationship? Like you enough as a human being
Yeah. That you get any fucking say over
my life. Right.
Am I even invested in this yet? A
week? A week?
A week. And, also, somebody mentioned in the
live chat, and you're damn straight. A week
is not enough time to change lifetime of
fucking habits either. And if you're not yet
invested enough, like
so I wanna be careful here because I
don't think this is true for everybody.
But in my experience, as somebody who
struggles
to change routines and to to incorporate new
habits,
the more excited I am about it,
sometimes the easier it is to just start.
That makes sense. Yeah. But excitement for me
personally, this will be different for everybody,
tends to come from the investment from it.
But also,
there was never a time when we finally
did start, like, incorporating things Mhmm. That you
were not giving me immediate feedback. Like, there
was positive reinforcement for anything and everything I
did, which Yeah. For me personally, because I
think this is how I'm probably wired, was
enough of a dopamine hit that I was
like, I can remember to do that again
because I get good thing.
Push, lever, get treat. You know what I
mean? Like,
I am trainable.
But that wasn't the 1st fucking week. No.
It wasn't. No. It wasn't. Like, that's like,
I can see somebody getting, like, really excited
and thinking, oh my god. This person's probably
amazing from a week of conversation. That's entirely
possible. I can even see them thinking that
they
they want to do this or that they,
oh, air quote here, should do this or
ought to do this.
But I also think,
you to me, 1st week, you haven't even
fully negotiated
shit yet. We were still getting to know
each other. Thank you.
So, yeah, to go, oh, I couldn't keep
I wanna know what his his responsibilities
were.
Because it's one thing, it's easy to give
a submissive task left, right, and center.
What the fuck was he doing? What were
his responsibilities?
Because if I knew that, I would know
are we dealing with somebody who just went
way too fucking fast? They both just went
too fast, got too excited. That happens. Mhmm.
Or are we dealing with somebody who went,
oh, oh, you don't know shit. So I
can do and say what I want because
you don't know any better yet.
And so
he's supposed to get whatever he wants. What's
he doing
as the dom? And and, you know, they
don't say really
They do. What experience the dom has.
And or what the experience the dom said
they have. Yeah.
Yeah. But yeah. The I think the rule
of thumb is, look, if you wanna, like,
sex, phone sex, whatever the kids do these
days, I don't know. Do you fuck on
Zoom? I don't know. If you wanna do
that after a week, I will never get
in your fucking way. Get your rocks off.
But we're talking about a power dynamic with
dynamic
with rules and responsibilities
to follow.
And potentially,
they don't say that there's punishment or consequences.
And I'm grateful because after a fucking week,
you don't know enough for there to be
shit going on. But
it does like, if he's calling them out
for not having done their thing, there is
at least that, quote, consequence of the Dom's
displeasure. Right? That is a consequence all on
his own.
No. No. It's it's not been long enough
for that. Mm-mm. You're not eve you don't
even you don't even know what you don't
know yet Right. To be able to go,
okay. I am ready
to change my life and fucking habits for
you to do like
and also and also, first of all, week?
No. Too fucking soon. But we start with
one thing. We change one habit or routine.
Yeah. We get comfortable with doing one thing,
especially if we are a person who struggles
with changing routines and habits.
You know, it helps if you know yourself
well enough for that. Not everybody does. Yeah.
You don't try to do the whole kit
and caboodle in one week. Because you're setting
yourself up for failure. And then and then
is the sub being made to feel guilty
by the dom? Well, then what the fuck
does the dom know? Because
either inexperienced
or a bullshit artist
to not realize, oh, this is too much
too soon. First of all, it's too soon.
It's too soon. It's a week.
Right. It's a week. It's a week.
That's the flirty stage. That's the I'm trying
to make sure you are who you say
you are stage.
That is not the here's 85 rules to
go follow, but also I'm gonna make you
feel like shit when you can't do them
to the point that this person is questioning,
am I really submissive? No.
You probably are. You probably are. And in
the right circumstances with right partner You just
got the wrong you'd be fine.
Yeah. Oh, I'm so tired of shitty
humans too often men making other people feel
bad about themselves.
Before I get the comment, hashtag not all
men. Okay.
I didn't know that one was gonna make
me rant. There we go. We are on
to the last one.
I don't know if I'm gonna rant, but
I have
I have thoughts. Okay.
Alright. It's the last one. Let's see where
it takes us. Oh, boy.
Title,
submissive women
with male bosses.
K. Hello.
I'm curious to get people's
perspectives on submissive women with a dom at
home and a male boss in the workplace.
Women, how do you compartmentalize
listening to another man that isn't your dom?
Men, as protectors,
how do you feel when your submissive tells
you that another man spoke to her in
a tone that you don't appreciate and or
tells her what to do?
My partner brought this up to me today
after her boss spoke to her about time
management.
She asked if I'd like to know in
the future if it happens again because she
knows it upsets me when I'm unable to
protect her.
I'm able to separate our personal and professional
lives, but it's still upsetting to hear. How
do you both, Dom and Subs, handle something
like this?
I feel like that was the sigh of
judgment,
and I'm here for it. Yeah.
Go ahead, daddy. What do you think? Yeah.
You know what?
Yeah. A little much there.
Little much.
You know what? I I I
am
your caregiver, your personal care, your your daddy.
Okay? And I look out for you. Mhmm.
Alright? And I do everything in my power
that I can do to take care of
you. Alright? Mhmm. But I also know
that there are certain things
that I just have absolutely no control over.
It's not about you. It's not right. It's
not about power exchange. Right. I mean, just
like we
have negotiated
with Stuff With the Kids. Mhmm.
Okay? Not part of the power exchange. Right.
Okay? What what is this guy gonna do?
Go to her boss? Go to their boss?
And, you know,
you shouldn't talk to her like that. Only
I can do that. I was raised by
a man that did that. Almost got my
mother fired, mortified her, and he was not
allowed to come to her by her, was
not allowed to come to her place of
work Yeah. Until she transferred
the job. So I went to a new
location because all you do with that is
it's humiliating, because you used to gotta go
to work there. Nah. You gonna burn a
bridge when you quit? I don't I don't
know what that was different. But yeah. Yeah.
I was raised by that, so yeah. You
know, it
it it's one of those things then at
that point where,
you know, this this dominant this protector or
how, you know
that that that's kind of like,
you know, when you come to me sometime
and, like, okay. Do you want advice? Do
you want Right. You know, to vent? You
know? Okay.
You know? I can't do anything about this,
but you can vent to me. Right. Okay?
Right. Because you you don't have any power
over what a complete
third party
Right. Has said to me, the way they've
looked at me, the tone they've given, because,
you know,
I do not want to be with somebody
who will whose first because I was raised
by this. Whose first response is to go,
you disrespected my woman. I'm a kick your
ass. That's how you get your ass thrown
in jail.
No. No. Nope. We're not doing that. Mm-mm.
Mm-mm. But yes.
Yeah. No. So
so
first of all,
somebody pointed out in the livestream, and I
do kinda get this. It's not about it's
sometimes tone, the tone somebody uses. Okay. Can
your boss be a fucking shithead disrespectful thing
they can talk down? Yeah. Fucking course. Absolutely.
Because we're adults who live in the adult
world, and there are way too many bosses
like that.
If you, the dom partner,
get pissy
when your part like, on one level, there's
this there's this loyalty thing I like. Be
mad on my behalf. Let me come home
to you, bitch about my network, tell you
about my shitty boss. I did that when
we were long distance. I still had a,
like, a a big girl job. And and
you put up with me when I had
that shitty boss for a while too. And
we man, I hated everybody you hated in
your office. I liked everybody you liked. Same.
Right? We vented to one another. We bitched.
We're like, fucking hate this. We're like, right?
Because that that's that's how that goes. Right.
But this idea that you're so upset in
whatever way that means, it's not clear here.
Mhmm. That your partner says, would you prefer
I just not tell you this stuff so
as not to upset? What is happening? Yeah.
First first of all, though,
here's the thing that really pissed me on
about this whole thing. It's not the question
because the question to me on its face
is fucking ridiculous. Are you living in the
real world or not?
The thing that bothers me about this question,
if the question had been,
hey, doms, does it bother you when your
sub of any fucking gender
goes through this?
I still wouldn't like the question because, again,
on its face, it's fucking bullshit. Yeah. But
why is it submissive women?
And why is it male bosses? Because submissive
women have shitty female bosses.
Mhmm. Okay?
Male subs have shitty whatever boss. Male subs
have shitty male bosses. Right. Okay. And it's
not just like a man woman thing. It's
a people thing. Right? Sure.
So that's the like
like okay. To me, that question
specifically
about
female subs, male doms,
says more about the person asking the question
than the question itself.
Because that is the,
I'm a big strong man who's out to
protect my woman.
And look,
on one level, I read enough smut. I
find that very sexy when I'm reading it.
And when JB gets offended on my behalf
and would ride to war on my behalf
if we were not, you know, fucking adults.
Who don't wanna go to jail.
I like the idea
of that because that's a thing that hits
buttons. Like, there's something wrong with like kinda
going, oh, let's go on sexy. You'll get
laid real hard tonight if you tell me
something like that. There will be a Cool.
Right?
But there's something about it, and I don't
I can't I can't put it into words
well enough. I can't I'm not
eloquent enough to say why it bothers me,
but something about that
directed to submissive women.
Because everybody, unless you work for yourself,
everybody's got a fucking boss. And quite frankly,
I'm not a boss. It's the tax man
I gotta fucking pay. Like, I you know?
So
unless you work for yourself, everybody has a
boss. Unless you are the billionaire CEO that
they're writing all that smut about. But most
of us are not. We all have a
boss. We all have to deal with it.
Yeah. Dom, sub, switch, don't fucking matter. So
why is it about a male dom being
in some specific
kind of fury on behalf
Yeah. Of their females? Like, something about that
rubs me the wrong way, and I don't
like it. Now let's just get to the
actual question.
If the boss is shitty and they're speaking
disrespectfully
to your partner,
commiserate with your partner, and then what are
you gonna do to help them find a
better job, a different job, or something to
get the fuck away from that? Are you
gonna, like, talk them through how they talk
to HR or how they file a report
or how they fucking quit and they've got
another like, what are you doing to help
the situation
if the boss is truly being shitty? Mhmm.
But work is work, and power exchange is
power exchange.
When I had a big girl job, I
showed up and my boss was shitty to
me, but I got my paycheck every week.
Okay? I went there to exchange my time
in exchange for money. So therefore, it's not
a power dynamic.
Shitty
I had plenty of shitty bosses in that
job.
And sometimes they were shitty and it sucked
and I was like, I need a margarita
tonight. And sometimes they were not shitty. And
it didn't fucking matter. I was hired to
do a job that I got paid for.
If it got when it did get bad
enough, I fucking left. It doesn't it's not
power exchange.
My boss speaking to me is not on
the level of my dom speaking to me.
Not not at all. Not at all. Now
when I was a repressed submissive who did
not know anything about kink and did not
know I was submissive but just loved authority,
did I
give a little bit too much
of myself
in as an employee
to a boss that did not deserve it?
Absolutely. Because apparently I was looking to scratch
an itch I didn't know I had, but
I like to be of service. I like
to be the good girl even if that
would be completely inappropriate at work to be
called that. But you know what that vibe
is. Right? When you've made them happy, when
you've done the thing and they're pleasantly surprised
with you. And they tell you, hey. You
did a great job,
name of employee.
Like, I was chasing that feeling
incorrectly. Didn't know I was chasing the feeling.
Figure it out with power exchange. But they
are 2 complete like,
there is a power dynamic between employer employee.
Absolutely.
But it is
not the same. It it's not the same
as as a as a no.
It is not. As a lifestyle dynamic. It
is not. It is not.
But, also, I'm still annoyed
that it's the female submissives that the male
doms need to be protective of.
Look. I am a female submissive and I
am more protective of my daddy dom than
he is probably healthy. Okay? We I will
go to battle.
I don't wanna talk to no damn buddy,
but if you are mean to my daddy,
I can find the words to say what
I need to say. Okay?
That's a partner thing. It has nothing to
do with his gender. Certainly has nothing to
do with his role
because
him being dominant does not immediately make him
somehow
superior,
does not immediately like, we protect the fucking
one another Yeah. Because it's a relationship.
Mhmm. I just I don't like it. I
don't like it. No. I agree. Somebody out
there is gonna tell me how they think
I'm wrong. That's been happening a lot lately,
so I'm a little sensitive to it. I
know I actually give a fuck, but still,
I just don't like that question. I'm really
pissed. Like, there's the whole power exchange compared
to job thing. I I don't like, I
kinda just roll my eyes at.
But I would take that I would take
that question in good faith if we were
not specifically talking about Yeah. Male bosses and
women. It's like, oh, well, the only person
who's allowed to talk down to my female
submissive is me. Okay. We'll just, like, negotiate
that. That's fine. Mhmm. But what? Somebody somebody
said in the in the, live chat
pretty straight up
what are we talking about? Cavemen here?
Right. That's what it feels like.
That is
it's what it
feels like.
And, yes, it is misogyny. And I think
that's the thing that really pisses me off
because we don't we don't care
about any other kind of of being treated
like shit by a boss. Potentially, we don't
even know. The boss coulda just been like,
hey. You've been late, like, every day for
the past week. What what's going on? Like,
that's not acceptable. We can't do that here.
And I wish we had those details because
I would be more judgmental
if it was a completely
typical, like, expectation of a boss to an
employee. Like, who are you protecting from like,
what are you trying to prove? Who do
you and who do you need to prove
it to? Are we proving it to ourselves
that we are the big bad man who
can take care of our little females and
business? Because they're so weak, and they can't
do it without me. Like,
I hate it.
Anyway,
anyway,
I don't like that one, but that was
our last question.
I I tried to warn everybody. It was
a doozy.
And I didn't quite I just
no. I don't like it.
So that was our BDSMeredith
response.
I
should not have worn a hoodie
while doing this episode. I have Kinda got
the blood pressure up a bit. Didn't you
shoot your faces red and, you know And
I can't take the hoodie off. It's just
a sports bra on under here, y'all.
Right? I'm enough of an exhibitionist that if
you like the thought of that, I love
it, quite frankly. That's awesome. If you don't,
don't worry about it. I'm gonna take my
shirt off. You don't have to worry about
anything.
So yeah.
This was chaotic in the best way, I
think.
We're back, we think. Mhmm.
And thank you to Fluor for sponsoring this
stuff.
If you would like to find somebody who's
actually a good partner for you and not
some of these strays, we clearly are picking
up off the side of the road somewhere.
Consider floor as your possible dating app. Link
in the places. Okay. Okay.
Okay.
Oh my god.
So,
are we good? I don't know. I don't
know. I'm I'm pretty sure,
the answer to that is no, but we'll
go with it. It's fine. Okay. Alright.
Keep the kinky, y'all. We'll see you Friday
night if you come to our livestream.
Daddy.
Yes, baby. Can we talk to the crickets?
I I think you can. Okay.
I I need to go refresh. Yeah. I
bet you do. I got so caught up.
I didn't for once, did not finish my
drink
before the episode ended.
Oh
gosh.
Okay. We're here. It's bonus section time.
Let's see if we can get you caught
up.
We tried to put it all over social
media and I told myself I would send
out a newsletter last Friday. I did not
send out a newsletter last Friday.
We were very, very fortunate,
with Milton.
We didn't even lose power, y'all. We were
very lucky, and we know we were very
lucky. Other parts of our county, like, lost
power for a couple of days. We just
had a couple of flickers. We were fine.
The wind howled though.
We knew it was coming, you know, it
was gonna hit at night. So we JB
and I both just went, we we're not
gonna go to bed. Well, it sounds like
there's, you know,
ghouls howling in our tree, so we'll just
stay up. So we stayed up. We were
like, as long as we have power, we'll
just, you know, watch TV or read our
book or whatever whatever.
We both, I think, dozed off around
midnight.
Yeah. And then I woke up at 1
AM because
the wind was so bad.
It it was just a gust, but it
was a big enough gust that I came
straight out of my sleep.
Realized that JB was sleeping and went, well,
I guess I can never sleep again because
somebody has to be on high alert. We
did not need to be on high alert,
but tell that to my anxiety. Yeah. And
then I fell back asleep at, like, 3,
3:30.
And we crawled into bed at 4:30,
very happy that we came through unscathed. And
we that we know that is not true.
Not only just people we know, but, you
know, JB lived in the Tampa Bay area.
For
30 plus years.
So
stuff that he's very familiar with is basically
underwater.
It it's it's it's been tough. I I
have not been able to look at a
lot of the pictures,
because seeing areas that I've I've known for,
you know, like you said, yeah, 30 plus
years and more,
you know, and and and places that I've
gone and and,
you know, hung out at,
just
Just gone? Gone.
Gone.
Yeah. This was a double whammy from Helene
to Milton.
And, I mean, Helene's damage Yeah. Stretched beyond,
but Milton just hammered an area that was
already And and, you know, that that was
the worst part about the Tampa Bay area.
They hadn't even cleaned up from Helene.
You know, you Not even close.
The day before
Milton, they were showing pictures. You know, the
neighborhoods in in Pinellas County, in Hillsborough, Pasco,
you know, trash just piled up in the
yards, you know, waiting to be picked up.
And
no. It it it was it was terrible.
You know, I
I I
contacted one friend of ours, and,
they evacuated.
You know, most people did. Thankfully. Thankfully. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. You know? And and
when all was said and done, Tampa Bay
didn't even get a direct hit. No. No.
You know, I No. They, you know, the
the eye landed in Sarasota and that they
had
Poor Sarasota.
Yeah. Yeah. That was crazy.
They they don't have it any better down
there either. Basically, the West Coast is fucked
right now. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, essentially. Mhmm.
So what we
the next we slept for a few hours,
went to bed at 4:30, did not sleep
for very long. Mm-mm.
Mm-mm. Jimmy basically just went and cleaned up
the yard. I kept going, is there anything
I can do to help? He's like, nope.
I think I might have had some of
this. You asked me about this, and I
was like, no. I don't think so. And
you had said you did. But, basically,
it was like we had drop afterwards.
Yeah. And, it makes sense, like, from
my limited understanding of, like, science
because the emotions were heightened. We were in
this super crazy anxious period,
and then we sat out we rode out
the storm in in absolute safety, like, complete
safety, but that doesn't like, it's a buildup,
and then you're, like, nervous, and you don't
know what's gonna happen. And then you come
down from it, and Mhmm. Even though we're
so lucky You know, the the thing there's
the low The thing the thing was that
that hit us, and this is how I
I kind of put it that way, you
know, it it first came
to mainstream news probably around Monday of last
week.
You know? And they said it was a
very fast moving storm. Right. It was gonna
be, you know, Tuesday night into Wednesday. Mhmm.
And,
you know,
started getting ready.
And and then they pushed it back a
little bit, and then, you know, a little
bit more. The storm slowed down. It's getting
stronger and, you know, pushed it back a
little bit more. And it it was just
like this hurry up Yeah. And wait. And
what's it gonna do?
And, you know, we were concerned because if
it had hit
Tampa Bay directly on, we probably would have
had We'd have worse winds from the store.
Worse winds.
You know, thankfully for us, that didn't happen.
Mhmm.
So, you know, we we came out of
it fine.
You know, but, yeah, tamp Tampa Bay got
got hit.
So after the storm, we basically crashed. Yeah.
And we kept going, we're gonna do stuff,
and then we did not have the energy
to do stuff. No. So we come out
of this weekend, I think, feeling, you know,
better
ish, you know. Mhmm. Kinda getting back to
normal, ready to get back to normal.
And then, you know, I keep saying, I
think I found the straw that broke the
camel's back. And then another straw
happens.
So
we are fine. When we say this, we're
just tense and stressed. Yeah. Our dishwasher has
not been cleaning properly
that we've noticed for over a week. Yeah.
Okay? It probably has been going on longer,
but it was visible for about a week.
So we're like, oh, it's been a hot
minute since we cleaned it real good. Let's
check filters. Let's like, we know how to
take care of our dishwasher. So we're like,
oh, we we would like to I went
through. I yeah. I pulled everything apart, cleaned
made sure the filters were all clean. The
drain was open. Right. We popped. Vinegarin and,
you know, several things we read said if
the because we have hard water. Hard water.
If you have a big buildup, let the
vinegar sit for a while before okay. We
went and made sure we got more dishwasher
cleaner because we hadn't had that for a
few months. Fine. So we let it sit
for a couple of days. We don't touch
our dishwasher. We actually let the dishwasher sit
for several days. Yeah.
And then we're like, okay. Let's run a
load
with to get the vinegar that was in
there. Right. And then we ran another load
With the with the dishwasher cleaner. Thinking, okay.
And the inside of our dishwasher
is spotless
now.
We woke up. And we did that at
night before we went to bed. Monday night.
Yeah. Tuesday morning, we wake up.
Yeah. Like, why is it wet over here?
Why is it when I step down on
this part in the dining room, which is
adjacent to our kitchen Mhmm. Water squeeges up
from the hardwood floor. From the hardwood floor.
Why is under the the mat we have
in front of the kitchen sink
that we stand on, like, a comfort mat
thing? Why is it wet underneath?
Yeah. So then, of course, you have to
go on the great hunt for the leak.
Mhmm. Pulled the refrigerator out, tested the water.
I we're like, I'll get water. I'll do
this with Yeah. No. Looked under the sink.
We're like, is it leaking under? Like, the
Not a thing. No.
Pull the dishwasher out and see a little
bit of water, but we're like, what?
So JB goes, let's
dishwasher is fully yanked out, y'all. Mhmm. He
goes, let's test the dishwasher because we had
tested the fridge. We there's no leaks under
the sink. Like, what is called? Where is
this water coming from?
Turns on the dishwasher,
and water just pours out of the bottom.
Mhmm. And we're like, well, we found the
leak. Yep.
The dishwasher repairman was out today. He was
very nice. Yeah. It's cheaper to fix the
dishwasher than it is to buy 1, so
we're fixing it. Yep.
But the water. The water is an issue.
Yeah. Yeah. Water is an issue. Yeah.
Yeah. Because,
it ran the water
ran
underneath the kitchen cabinets. Yep.
Underneath the hardwood. Underneath the hardwood floor, underneath
a a a short wall between the kitchen
and living room or dining room. Right. And
then
over the ledge
into the office. Right. That that part's carpeted.
Yep. Yep. And also because our bedroom
is on the other side of the kitchen,
it came it it
was enough water. It soaked through the walls,
and the carpet in our bedroom is damp.
Yeah. And it's
been a slow leak for a while that
we didn't notice, and then the 2 loads
backed back. Is what pushed it over the
edge. Pushed it over the edge. Yep. And
we're still waiting to find out if the
kind of water
coverage damage coverage we have on our homeowners
insurance
covers
this kind of damage. Yep. Because it's a
pull up flooring in multiple rooms. Like, not
not necessarily
the whole floor in each room,
but multiple
flooring
in multiple rooms.
Yeah.
So
yeah. Yep.
So we're we're just so
when we were trying
to move through our week, I was like,
well, of course, we're doing the livestream.
Of course, both to the Wednesday night for
the Friday episode and Friday night. I was
like,
but
we can't I don't have it in me
to do much more than that. These are
easy because I feel like I'm having a
conversation
Yeah. In a way that I don't feel
like with shorter episodes where
I know you y'all know we're not fully
scripted, but we got, like, more of point
to try and get to. And cons a
little bit more concise. Right.
We were also supposed to review something, and
I was, like, between the storm last week
and now this, I haven't even had time
to look at the damn thing. Yeah. So
we're just we were like, you know what?
That that's we're just gonna give ourselves a
little break. Mhmm. We're just gonna give ourselves
a little break. Yeah.
So, yeah, we we basically lost yesterday because
the morning was spent finding the leaks, figuring
out, like, how far it spread. Port JB
was in every room that connects to the
kitchen in any way. We got real paranoid.
It was like, okay. When it came over
the ledge into the office, we were like,
did it soak through the wall into the
office? It did not. It did not. No.
It did not. But then it was several
hours later, he went, oh, shit. Let me
go check. And then he checked the bedroom
because Sure enough. Sure enough. Yeah. Our cabinets
The bottom are soft now.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
So,
yeah. It's just a thing. Yep.
And I I,
I I said,
I will never
ever
buy GE Appliances again. Every single GE Appliances
again. Every single GE Appliances. We're
we're we're on our second icemaker in the
fridge. In the fridge. Yep. Yep. Yep. Matter
of fact, I haven't even fixed that yet.
Just And this time, we're not hiring the
appliance person. We're just doing it ourselves. Right.
That that yeah.
Be able to get the part.
This is the second time our dishwasher is
scrapped out. 2nd time dishwasher is crapped out
and,
burner on the stove
too. Yeah. And that's still working. And talking
to
the person who came to look at the
dishwasher today, he was like, oh, yeah. That
happens a lot. The burner element that would
have to be replaced, he's like, that by
itself before labor and well, that's $250.
And I was like, I need to go
price ovens now? Like, is it gonna be
cheaper to fix it or plant a new
one? And and, you know, I I I
I feel a little bit of responsibility in
this because, you know, when we were looking,
you know, we we looked at GE because
my grandmother had
GE appliances, and they
lasted her entire life. And my mom had
Yeah. Her GE appliances, and they lasted her,
you
know, entire life. And,
not anymore, I guess. Yeah. Mister Spock points
out, at least the GE stuff doesn't sing
like the the other ones. Yeah. Yeah. Our
our, washer and dryer stick to us, and
I after all these years, I'm still not
used to it. Yeah. Still, like, what is
happening? I it it's become a joke when
the, dryer
and the washer go into their, little thing.
It's like, oh, the ice cream man's here.
The ice cream man's here. Yeah.
No. I'm I am
I am old in the way that I'm,
like, I would like to go back to
like, give me appliances
that don't have computerized
anything in them.
Give me apply give me the, like,
washer thing that you put in the top,
like, something. Give me something that can be
repaired
easily.
Of course, that's a dying art and the
people who have the knowledge to repair them
are, you know, slowly
going away. But I'm just like,
now I know why my dad was always
like, I don't need a car with all
the, you know, bells and whistles. That's just
more stuff that can break. That that is
my old person thing. It's like
like Yeah. I don't want all these damn
appliances that could do 85 things because all
those 85 things will break. Yeah.
I I mean, you know, I I guess
what I'm you know, you you you spend
that kind of money on this stuff and,
you know, shoot, it's
barely out of warranty and it's, you know
It's usually like the day after it's out
of warranty.
Yep. So the joys of homeownership for anybody
who's like, gee. Is it worth it? I
can't answer that for you. Yeah. Can't can't,
can't tell you. Yeah. No. Owning my own
home is 10 times better than a shitty
landlord because I've had shitty landlords.
But when you have a decent landlord that
actually will fix shit for you,
I mean, I I could be convinced
to come back to rent a claim.
Yay. So, yeah, we were a little tired,
and we've just we've been low energy now.
Yeah.
But things pick back up as they do.
So
tomorrow afternoon, I head to Gainesville. The kid
needs the oldest needs groceries Yeah. And was
texting me on, like,
Sunday night for me to go Monday. I
was like, I cannot do that, but I
can get there Thursday. I was like, okay.
But then I'm an I'm an old lady
who has anxiety. I was like, we're doing
this quickly because I wanna get back to
my part of town before rush hour traffic.
I'm not driving that traffic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He laughed at me. So
there's that.
Next week, we go to,
a concert of his. Oh, that was the
other thing. So Sunday, he was like, I
need groceries. And he thought I was going
Monday. I was like, I cannot go Monday.
Mhmm. Then Monday, he goes, I have a
performance tomorrow. And I was like,
I love you so much. You did not
tell me about he's like, I thought I
had told you. No.
No. I was like, I really hate this
because we are not going to that was
he's telling me this.
Yeah. He's telling me this Monday. We didn't
even we just knew the dishwasher wasn't working
right. We didn't know it was leaking all
over the place. And I was already like,
we got stuff going on.
And then Tuesday morning, I was like, no.
No. For real. I'm definitely not coming.
Because that was when we were dealing with
the dishwasher.
So I was like, oh, so you have
a concert next week. I'm deaf we're definitely
going to that one. We'll see you for
that one. And then there's a concert on
my birthday. Apparently, my birthday's in the middle
of the week this year. I didn't notice.
I don't know. She's got a performance that
day too.
So we'll be doing that. My birthday's at
the end of the month for anybody who's
like, what does that matter? Our anniversaries at
the beginning of the week and then your
birthday. Yeah. I know.
So yeah.
So life just keeps rolling on and we
just keep rolling with it. Yep.
And, I've been doing a lot of,
handyman stuff at your aunt and uncle's. Oh
my god. They gave you a honey do
list. So I think I mentioned this a
couple weeks ago. Last time we streamed, my
uncle had surgery. My aunt is disabled. My
mom, who is retired and has, like, tons
of free time, came to stay with them
to help them out. Okay. Fine.
So
my uncles recovered
very fast.
And so
my mom was, like,
helping out around the house, but also kind
of you know how when you live in
your own house and something, like, stops working
right and you go, I'll get to it.
And then it just becomes normal and background
noise, and you don't even remember the oh,
oh, yeah. I'll get around to it. I'll
get oh, yeah. That's right. Well, my mother
came in with fresh eyes and was like,
oh, this needs and this needs and this
needs. And then it was turns to JB.
Oh, could you do this for us? They're
out of town this week.
They're staying up in a
cabin in the
Georgia mountains,
where, like, where there it's not like a
devastate state of place from, like, Helene or
whatever. Like, it's it's fine. They can be
there.
And so we were like so we're taking
care of their cat, which is fine. We
do that for them every time they go
out of town.
Anyway, but my mom left with a list
of chores to Yeah. Could JB complete for
them, and we got them done. We did.
We did.
We did. And saved their it's not they
don't have a Roomba. They have a shark.
But they're like, our Rosie the Roomba, their
version of that had, like, gotten lost in
the wilderness of their house while they've been
gone.
Found her, put her back on the charger.
Yep. Got to love on the cat a
little bit, like Mhmm. Mhmm.
So
And,
talked silent, asked about the the the pets.
Fur babies are all fine. Oh, yeah. They're
right as well. They're doing fine. Lola,
she she's been,
oh my gosh, almost obnoxious
with her with with the nice weather. She
wants to go out, then she wants to
come in. Wants to go out, then she
wants to come in.
Yeah. All day today. Yeah. And then when
the appliance repair person was here, I kept
her in the office with me because
she's actually
fine with most people. But, 1, most people
don't wanna be some people don't wanna be
around big dogs. Right. 2, until she's fine
with you, you will hear her big girl
bark, and none of we just and that
could scare people. We didn't want any of
that. We're like, So I kept her here
in the office with me while JB was
talking to the repair person. Yeah. And,
she was mostly fine, and so she decided
she didn't wanna be in the area. She
wasn't she wasn't barking. She was howling. She
was doing that
oh that she does. Yes. You know? That
that she's been abandoned.
Oh, yeah. Just lost, forsaken. I am sitting
on the floor. I did not sit on
the floor. I'm sitting on the floor going,
Lola, come here. Here. Lola, let me love
you. And she would run over to me,
let me scratch her ears for, like, half
a second, run back to the door, and
I woo. And I would go, Lola, come
here. And she'd run to me, and I
could scratch her ears, and she'd run back.
And we did that multiple times. Yeah. Thankfully,
the person who was here did not seem
to, be phased by me. No. He didn't.
That was nice. Some people
some people love pitties and are like, oh,
do you have a pity? And then we
get into a conversation about how much do
I love pitties? And some
people, especially if if she does her big
girl bark Yeah. They just sort of tense
up, which is why we keep her away.
Like, we're not trying to, like, freak anybody
out. Ever ever since we we
realized that,
you know,
with when we had the pest control
and Yeah. Or even if she would see
someone in the neighborhood,
you know, or or spray tech doing the
yard, something about
these folks that they have a wand in
their hand,
and and that brings us to well and
and sometimes I wonder if it's because she
was shot. If that to her that And
I think I don't She I think she
went through more abuse than just Probably. Being
shot in the Probably. The leg. Probably. And
I yeah.
But, you know, she's she's doing good. It
was funny after after he left and opened
up the door,
she,
pretty much had been glued to my side
for the rest of the day. Yes.
Oh my gosh.
I,
I I had the opportunity today to lay
down and on the sofa and take a
nap. You know, I was barely sat down
on that sofa and had that little throw
blanket over me, then she was on top
of me. Wow. Okay. Because you've been very
sad that she would not get on the
couch for the whole day. She she did.
You know?
She couldn't wait. I think she feels like
a new woman with this cooler weather. I
do. I do.
Yeah. I mean, my whole personality is strange.
Mhmm. Well, maybe not, but you know what
I mean.
Yeah. So yeah. And the the cats are
fine.
Ella has actually been
a little
more,
personable is not the right word because she's
very a very social cat. Passionate? Yeah. Thank
you. That's what I want because she's been
going from lap to lap to lap. Yep.
And then, like, a circuit. Like, if we're
all especially if we're all sitting on the
couch, she just Yeah. Kinda goes down the
line and wants to sit with everybody. And,
like, her purse feel, like, louder to me.
I'm like, it's because you don't normally cuddle
up with me, but girl.
Onyx is Onyx. Oh, yeah. Onyx is Onyx.
And she will always be Onyx. She will
always be Onyx. Will never not be. Yeah.
Thank god we love her. Mhmm.
Well, like we say about Ella, thank god
she's pretty. Oh, lord. That one. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, I know it's a running,
like, joke on the Internet about, you know,
cats
multiple cats sharing one brain cell.
Ella Onyx does not let Ella have the
brain cell. No. No. She does not. She's
like, this is mine. I had it way
before you came along. You don't know what
to do with the brain cells, so you
don't get it.
I'm pretty sure Onyx has more than 1,
but she's, like, keeping Ella's one brain cell
away from her.
Oh, thank god Ella's cute.
Oh, lordy.
So yeah. We're Yeah.
You know, other than the little extra, like,
house stress, we're we're mostly good and fine.
We are, finally in a way that we
were not able to before, but we can
now. We're finally doing some, like, major major
restocks for the Kinkery. Yep.
My major restock
will be as fast as they get me
the supplies come in that I've ordered to
be shipped. And yours, you're going you get
to go you get to go play with
wood tomorrow,
your favorite thing to do.
I mean, it's probably been a hot minute
since you've gotten to play with wood, but
that's Yeah. A different conversation.
And so we're gonna spend the weekend milling
and processing wood and making more paddles, which
is very exciting. Yep. And, I did a
doing some rearranging in the garage.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to eke out
more a little more space in there. More
space. Yeah. Yeah.
So You know, I,
the, the the the benches where we do
or where you now do most all of
the
Resin work. Resin work. I cleaned that off
and gave you some extra real estate on
top of the catalog. Like, 2 more feet
of space. Yeah.
So that's been So Yeah. That's been nice.
And, yeah. It's
So here we are. Here we are.
Hopefully, next week, we can be fully back
to normal. That would be nice. That would
be very, very nice.
And then, yeah, Friday night,
we'll be here. Mhmm. Yeah. I don't know
what state we'll be in. But we'll be
here.
Yes. We will.
Yes. We will. So, yeah, I guess that's
enough for now. Mhmm. Oh, somebody mentioned it
in live chat. So Yes. Yes. You have
something that is not new behind you. I
don't know how to describe it for podcast
listeners.
What what words do we need to say
to describe this?
So it it's a candle. Mhmm. It's purple.
Purple.
It is a wizard
reading his I hope I can say it
right.
Grimoire?
I don't know. Grimoire? I don't know how
it's actually said. It's a word I've never
read.
Standing behind a dragon. Mhmm. And he's had
it forever. Yep.
Forever. And that is not a candle that
is has ever seen a flame. No. It
will never get burned. No. No. No. No.
No. No. That's decor
is what that is. So Yeah. I,
You zhuzhing up our space for
Yeah. I thought, you know The background for
YouTube? Yeah. I thought, you know, maybe every
once in a while, throw something a little,
you know, shake it up a little bit.
I'm I'm here for that. I'm telling you,
I'm in this phase where, like, yeah. I
want I
I want and I'm seeking
very specific
kinds of change.
If I do not seek it out, I
don't want it. Thank you.
Are you listening to me,
universe? I'm not asking for change.
Anyway,
ah, thank you, Yarn and Whiskey. Grimoir. Grimoir.
Okay. Always said it. Thank you, x. See
Thank you. There's so many words that I've
only ever read.
I mean and I'm you and I both
it's funny because you get a little we
thought we were leaving. We're not.
You sometimes you get a little self conscious
because I'll correct a word. Yeah. And I'm
a and you kinda do this thing. I
go, no. I know you've only read it.
You've just never heard it said. Here, I'll
say it for you. Now you know.
I don't get I only it bothers me
when somebody I'm not, like, super close to
corrects me because then I get that whole,
oh, no. I'm an awful human being who
made a mistake. I'm not allowed to do
that. That's that's my own personal trauma.
JB is allowed to correct me, but he
tends to get the giggles because it's very
rare that he has to correct my pronunciation.
Normally, it's the other way around.
Yeah.
And so he
finds it very humorous, but it's usually because
I have really butchered a word. Like
like, no reasonable person would know how I
got that combination of letters to sound like
that. So
it's it's fine. It's fine. If the people
you love most in the world aren't allowed
to laugh at you, who is? Nobody.
But anyway, that's, again, my emotional trauma.
So yeah. That's kind of,
been us in a nutshell lately.
Oh god. Every time you say stuff like
that, I,
I can't is it Jim Carrey? Is it
it's somebody who went,
it was Austin pow it was an Austin
Powers. Wait. This is me in a nutshell,
Every time I'm just now admitting it, but
every time you say that's blah blah blah
in a nutshell, I'm like, no. This is
me in a nutshell. Anyway,
Okay. I think we should go now.
Yeah.
We'll be back Friday night, October 18th,
9:30 PM EST. Mhmm.
Thanks for being here, especially to the bitter
end. Yep.
We appreciate all of you. We do. We
will talk to y'all Yep. Later. Okay. Bye.
Bye.