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You're listening to the loving BDSM podcast, episode

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409,

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Kail Awards with the one, the only, the

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h o t t o g o, hot

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to go John Brownstone. Oh my god.

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If you all wanna know what we were

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singing before we hit record,

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there it

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is.

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I started listening to Chapel Rowan's music and

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fell in love and thought it was just

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my own little thing. And then JB comes

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in one day

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from work, and he's like, oh, the Spotify

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AI g j,

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has been recommending some music me and come

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to find out, he is now a Chapel

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Rohn stand too. So

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we'll just, like, randomly sing lyrics. So

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Yep.

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So I

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I love that I shocked you so good.

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So here's a little bit of, like,

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fortune telling for you, time travel. So in

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the Monday episode that we recorded before we

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recorded this,

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I could not my brain

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was not wording yet, and I couldn't find

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anything, like, cute or funny to say. And

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so I just had to go with something

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basic. And it was good, but it was

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still basic. You know, telling your your dom

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you love them, I don't think is a

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bad thing. But

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it wasn't it wasn't that. So now I'm

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very proud of myself, but also to be

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you only have yourself to blame. I know.

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That's true. Because I'm I'm the one who

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started it. You did. I did. You did.

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I did.

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That's not what we're here for.

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I mean, I am here for JV singing

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Chapel Rhone lyrics to me. But, what we're

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here for this week is to answer,

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kinky questions that we received over at that

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fucking handle I fucking hate that I will

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hate for fucking ever on Instagram.

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Yeah.

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See, you need to, you know, Buddha. Okay?

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JB has a shirt. Let that shit go.

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JB's shirt says you need to let that

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shit go.

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Supposedly said by Buddha.

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Frankly, I'm pretty sure the Buddha said something

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like it, but maybe not maybe not in

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those terms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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That's that's that's neither here nor there. No?

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We're gonna move forward. Okay.

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Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. And, yeah, it's like this every week.

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If you're back for another week, welcome back.

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Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday for

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your kinky pleasure and education, and show notes

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are found at loving BDSM.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on FetLife at

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loving BDSM PC

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on Instagram and threads at that handle that

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I will forever fucking hate. I get angry

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every time I have to think of it.

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It's loving

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d s and the number one. So it's

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at loving d s one.

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And yes, I hate it. Or on YouTube

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at youtube.com/loving

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BDSM, where you can watch us live share

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the podcast every Wednesday.

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All links are in the show notes. I

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am going off script for the rest of

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this intro.

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Normally, I'm like, join our Patreon.

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This time, I'll be like, hey. As of,

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like, right now when this episode comes out

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through

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Monday, September second, which is the American

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US,

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Labor Day holiday. Thekinkery, thekinkery.com

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is having a sale.

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The code is Labor Day 24.

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You save 15% off your purchase at thekangry.com.

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And and because we couldn't stand anymore and

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we didn't wanna wait anymore, we released our

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Halloween

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diabolical

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sticks. Mhmm. They are so adorable.

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And they went really fast last year. So

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if you didn't get your hands on them

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last year and you heard about them and

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you're curious, now is the time. Mhmm. Link

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link is in the show notes. It's the

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kinkery.com.

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Labor Day 24. If you follow us on

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social up for the for the kinkery, we

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will be talking about it. I'm just letting

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you know. Thekinkery.com.

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Okay. Before

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we get into

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the questions Mhmm. I was like, what are

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words? Y'all, it's it's it's been a long

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day. It's been a long

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two and a half

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weeks.

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Technically, one big announcement, and we worked really

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hard to get here, but also a little

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mini announcement.

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And podcast listeners who are hearing this on

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Friday,

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we already screamed this in your ear a

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few minutes ago.

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YouTube

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folk, this does not apply

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until

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Thursday

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evening,

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but the kinkery is about to have a

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sale. Thekinkery.com.

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It's linked below. It's a Labor Day sale

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because the US is gonna celebrate Labor Day.

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That'll be next Monday. We're doing a little

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sale. We're bringing back a Halloween item that

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we did last year, more of them this

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time.

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So that's happening. And I'm if you are

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on our email list for

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the kinkery,

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thekinkery.com,

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you'll get this information if you follow us

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on social media at thekinkery. You'll get this

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information. But I wanted to, like, slip it

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in here to let folks know what's happening.

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But the big one, the one where I

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laid I,

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me, the supposed submissive,

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laid down the law with JB. Oh, and

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said, if we are sponsoring we again this

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week,

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you gotta do something. And he did. I

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did. So the we that is because I

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do what I do. Sometimes. The we that

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is sponsoring us is JB's very vanilla,

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wood,

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us is JB's very vanilla woodturning shop on

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Etsy, where he makes things out of wood

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that are not kinky.

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But he let me name it, and it

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is the wood dom. Link is in

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the places. But the reason

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I said if you want us to sponsor

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us this week and it be vanilla,

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all these damn cutting boards you have made

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all this time have to be ready to

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go and up on the shop. And guess

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what we did today? We got them on

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the shop. Yep. Yep. And so we he

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now has cutting boards. He also has bowls.

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You have pins.

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I am forgetting things even though I am

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the one who's in charge of your Etsy

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shop. Bottle bottle toppers. All kinds of stuff.

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Custom custom order requests if there's something you're

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looking for. Definitely do custom orders. But, yeah,

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the cut very excited about the cutters of

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bookings.

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Mostly because I'm looking at them over there,

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and I'm hoping at some point there are

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less of them. And they can we can

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have space in this in this office, in

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this area. So The Wood Dom on Etsy,

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free shipping,

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for US folk for,

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the cutting boards because they are over that

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minimum $35.

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Are we going to ship them to you

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the cheapest we can? Of course, we are.

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But you ain't gotta pay for it. Okay.

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So, yeah, the wood dom. The wood dom.

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Mhmm. Technically, you can go to the wood

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dom.com, and it'll take you to the Etsy

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shop too. Right? Yes. So there you go.

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Yeah. We didn't know

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when JB started his vanilla shop on Etsy,

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and actually it was a website before. It

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was an Etsy shop. We've gone back and

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forth with this for years now. We didn't

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know he would one day have

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a kink shop. No.

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So I wanted he had his reason for

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wanting for liking the name. I wanted it

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to be the wood dom because I wanted

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a nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Yeah.

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Because who is in charge of the wood?

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That would be JB, Justin.

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Any Anyhoo, there is a there there is

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a little bit of a story behind the

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name.

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I'm not gonna go into it right now.

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Probably

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a good thing for a, the Friday night

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hangout at some point. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

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Yeah.

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And maybe maybe one of these Friday night

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hangouts, you can do a Vanilla Show and

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Tell. Yeah. Because we're we have slowly gotten

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better at the picture taking.

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But if you go shopping his shop, you

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will you will be able to tell when

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we didn't know what we were doing. Yeah.

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And we are slowly fixing it. But we

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use our y'all, we use our iPhones to

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take pictures of products these days. And I

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have a very simple editing thing, and that's

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how to to admit it. The the the

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poor pictures were on me. Well, and that

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well, I've had my share of not so

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great pictures.

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Etsy now has a tool that will tell

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you, hey, you could be doing better if

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and then you click the button and it'll

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tell you. And I clicked it today, and

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it was like, you have a few listings

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with poor photo

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image quality. And I was like, I know.

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I'll get to it. I'll get to it.

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Anyway I know. Told me that too when

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I went there.

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Yeah. Thanks, Etsy. Okay. That was the announcement.

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Now we're gonna answer questions we received from

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Instagram. Thank you to everybody who submitted your

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questions. We got so many. We literally cannot

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answer them all. So some of the ones

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that we skip over

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will either be, like, a q and a

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episode

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later, or you might see it in another

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form elsewhere.

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Any legitimate questions, because sometimes there are people

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who think they are funny, and those are

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not legitimate questions. But legitimate questions, we will

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try to answer. Mhmm. So here we go.

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Alright. What's a good punishment for a brat

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who doesn't obey?

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I had to ask it because we got

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a daddy dom right here. I'm not a

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brat,

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but what would you do? What would I

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do for for a brat that doesn't obey?

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You

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know, I think what I would do Mhmm.

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I would find their favoritest thing. Mhmm. Mhmm.

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K?

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And

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no.

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No. You can't have that.

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Also, sometimes and every brat is different, and

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part of it is you gotta have a

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conversation with said brat to figure out how

269
00:09:34,375 --> 00:09:36,774
they tick and what they would consider punishment

270
00:09:36,774 --> 00:09:38,375
or not. Mhmm. And they also have to

271
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:40,054
try to not be in the brat mindset

272
00:09:40,054 --> 00:09:41,014
when they do it. This needs to be

273
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:42,875
the serious negotiation part. But,

274
00:09:44,134 --> 00:09:45,034
some brats

275
00:09:45,575 --> 00:09:48,220
brat to get the punishment, and JB has

276
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:49,660
done this to me. And I wasn't even

277
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:51,660
look. I wasn't bratting, but I was a

278
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,500
smart ass like a dumbass. I was a

279
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:54,559
dumbass who

280
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:57,519
who smart ass too close to the sun.

281
00:09:57,820 --> 00:09:58,559
And so

282
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:02,165
the punishment was I didn't get the thing

283
00:10:02,165 --> 00:10:04,565
that I was clearly going for. So I

284
00:10:04,565 --> 00:10:06,485
didn't get the spanking. I didn't get the

285
00:10:06,485 --> 00:10:08,085
this. I didn't get the that. Now how

286
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,725
you figure out in general what are good

287
00:10:10,725 --> 00:10:13,559
punishments, it is about knowing the other person

288
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:14,059
and,

289
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,960
what will impact them enough to feel like

290
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,759
a punishment that they will consent to. Mhmm.

291
00:10:20,759 --> 00:10:22,759
Because you can't just be doing anything willy

292
00:10:22,759 --> 00:10:24,540
nilly to somebody, call it a punishment.

293
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,165
If if that's a violate that if that

294
00:10:27,165 --> 00:10:28,845
would be a violation of their consent, then

295
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:28,924
it's

296
00:10:29,725 --> 00:10:31,725
we're we're not on punishment anymore. We're on,

297
00:10:31,725 --> 00:10:33,904
like, illegal actions. Let's stop that.

298
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,205
And the thing is is, you know, we

299
00:10:36,205 --> 00:10:37,424
get questions about punishments,

300
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,440
mostly punishments, but some about rewards Mhmm. All

301
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,960
the time. By the way, we'll have a

302
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:43,799
little thing coming soon ish in the next

303
00:10:43,799 --> 00:10:45,419
few weeks about that. I'm just saying.

304
00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:49,799
But, you know, the thing about punishment is

305
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:52,299
you can't just think up a punishment

306
00:10:53,044 --> 00:10:55,225
as the big d type on your own.

307
00:10:55,684 --> 00:10:58,245
Never have a conversation with your submissive about

308
00:10:58,245 --> 00:11:01,044
it. And just when they do something wrong,

309
00:11:01,044 --> 00:11:02,804
just throw it out there. Like, it is

310
00:11:02,804 --> 00:11:03,944
part of the negotiation

311
00:11:04,245 --> 00:11:06,985
like every other part of your power exchange.

312
00:11:07,605 --> 00:11:08,105
So

313
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,720
the simple answer is, yeah. What's their favorite

314
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,480
thing? They can't do it. What were they

315
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,040
trying to accomplish by bratting if were they

316
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,279
trying to get their a certain reaction from

317
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:18,960
you? Were they trying to get a certain

318
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,120
physical activity from you? Then they don't get

319
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,420
it. That's the punishment

320
00:11:22,804 --> 00:11:24,404
is they don't get the thing that the

321
00:11:24,404 --> 00:11:27,044
bratting was supposed to accomplish Right. For the

322
00:11:27,044 --> 00:11:28,904
brats that that will work on.

323
00:11:29,284 --> 00:11:31,865
Mhmm. Which is what makes punishment so complicated.

324
00:11:31,924 --> 00:11:34,884
They are so personal. Yeah. I mean, couple

325
00:11:34,884 --> 00:11:37,709
times too, I've left out your, favorite paddle

326
00:11:37,709 --> 00:11:39,329
sitting on the bed. Yep.

327
00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:40,929
And what happened?

328
00:11:41,949 --> 00:11:43,549
Nothing. Not a damn thing. Not a damn

329
00:11:43,549 --> 00:11:44,909
thing. I know. I looked at it, and

330
00:11:44,909 --> 00:11:47,009
I was like, and I got excited. Right.

331
00:11:47,149 --> 00:11:49,230
And I know I knew enough then not

332
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:49,889
to, like,

333
00:11:50,589 --> 00:11:52,110
go, oh, I see what you did. But,

334
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:54,894
like, I internally got excited. I'm like, okay.

335
00:11:55,195 --> 00:11:57,434
Mhmm. Mhmm. And then we moved around that

336
00:11:57,434 --> 00:11:58,174
whole bedroom.

337
00:11:59,274 --> 00:12:00,794
Because part of it is the way our

338
00:12:00,794 --> 00:12:02,875
dynamic works is I'm not gonna say anything.

339
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,475
You put the thing out there. I just

340
00:12:04,475 --> 00:12:06,154
wait for it to be used. And I

341
00:12:06,154 --> 00:12:07,980
I my personality, I know this will shock

342
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:10,059
you, but my personality as a submissive in

343
00:12:10,059 --> 00:12:12,460
the moment, I'm not really saying anything. I'm

344
00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:14,080
just waiting for it to happen. And

345
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,540
I don't wanna say anything because I don't

346
00:12:16,540 --> 00:12:18,540
wanna know too much. That's part of the

347
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,879
lack of control that I like. Yeah.

348
00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:24,375
And we went about our whole ass business

349
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:25,754
and it just sat there.

350
00:12:26,375 --> 00:12:27,035
And it was

351
00:12:27,495 --> 00:12:29,095
And then it got put away. Right. And

352
00:12:29,095 --> 00:12:30,955
that was when I went, what the hell?

353
00:12:33,735 --> 00:12:34,634
What the hell?

354
00:12:36,294 --> 00:12:36,794
Okay.

355
00:12:37,254 --> 00:12:37,754
Next

356
00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:39,110
question.

357
00:12:40,850 --> 00:12:42,389
Okay. Let's see.

358
00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:46,769
How should I ask my Dom about seeing

359
00:12:46,769 --> 00:12:49,330
him seriously as a romantic partner? Which makes

360
00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:51,110
me think that maybe they're just play partners

361
00:12:51,169 --> 00:12:53,509
or it's a platonic thing or it's casual

362
00:12:57,384 --> 00:12:57,527
at best. Now they want it to be

363
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,664
something more serious and romantic.

364
00:13:01,625 --> 00:13:02,445
That's tough.

365
00:13:03,144 --> 00:13:05,325
That's tough. Because you cannot make someone

366
00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:08,605
feel something for somebody.

367
00:13:09,579 --> 00:13:09,899
You know? It's,

368
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:13,980
I guess, in a way, it'd be nice

369
00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,360
if you could, you know.

370
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:17,179
But I think people would use that power

371
00:13:17,179 --> 00:13:19,200
for evil instead of good. Right.

372
00:13:19,579 --> 00:13:21,579
I mean, you know, I I think the

373
00:13:21,579 --> 00:13:24,459
best thing you can do is is talk

374
00:13:24,459 --> 00:13:25,794
to them. Well, yeah. You have to. You

375
00:13:25,794 --> 00:13:27,074
know, you you you have to you have

376
00:13:27,074 --> 00:13:28,595
to talk to them and and let them

377
00:13:28,595 --> 00:13:30,774
know, you know, that you're you're

378
00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:34,195
you are developing feels and you want more.

379
00:13:34,195 --> 00:13:36,115
And I think before you talk to them,

380
00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:38,695
one, you have to decide

381
00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:41,070
what you think you will feel because you

382
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,350
won't know what you feel until you're in

383
00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:44,029
the moment. But how you think you'll handle

384
00:13:44,029 --> 00:13:47,790
it if they do not reciprocate. Right? Like,

385
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:50,210
are you able to continue

386
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,230
as things have been? Are you comfortable with

387
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:54,430
that? Is that what you want? Are you

388
00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:55,125
willing to

389
00:13:55,684 --> 00:13:58,404
if they reject this idea? And you also

390
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,804
have to be prepared that they may reject

391
00:14:00,804 --> 00:14:01,384
the idea

392
00:14:01,845 --> 00:14:02,825
enough that,

393
00:14:03,605 --> 00:14:05,865
you know, maybe they don't want to continue

394
00:14:07,169 --> 00:14:09,089
forever. But the the the way things were

395
00:14:09,089 --> 00:14:11,730
and keep that going. So it's a tricky

396
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:12,709
one. I,

397
00:14:14,049 --> 00:14:16,610
yeah, I'm here for just clear blunt ass

398
00:14:16,610 --> 00:14:17,110
communication,

399
00:14:17,809 --> 00:14:18,309
but,

400
00:14:18,850 --> 00:14:20,745
you know, I I can I think it's

401
00:14:20,745 --> 00:14:23,225
still a delicate situation? I think sometimes we

402
00:14:23,225 --> 00:14:24,904
get wrapped up in our own heads about

403
00:14:24,904 --> 00:14:26,985
it, and we're we're worried that they're not

404
00:14:26,985 --> 00:14:28,504
on the same page as us. And so

405
00:14:28,504 --> 00:14:30,024
it's gonna be awkward, and then you have

406
00:14:30,024 --> 00:14:31,464
the conversation, and they are on the same

407
00:14:31,464 --> 00:14:34,920
page. Mhmm. And sometimes it, you know, it

408
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,960
just goes sideways. And before you have that

409
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,100
conversation, I think

410
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,220
regardless

411
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,759
of how you get to that point, you're

412
00:14:42,759 --> 00:14:44,379
ready to have that conversation.

413
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,340
I think you have to have

414
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,179
a real be really clear

415
00:14:49,535 --> 00:14:50,115
to yourself

416
00:14:50,415 --> 00:14:52,915
how you will handle and be

417
00:14:53,695 --> 00:14:55,695
as prepared as it is possible to be

418
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,154
when you are dealing with hypotheticals

419
00:14:58,014 --> 00:14:58,514
for,

420
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:02,254
you know, is it so good that the

421
00:15:02,254 --> 00:15:04,495
end of this casual thing or this non

422
00:15:04,495 --> 00:15:05,370
romantic thing

423
00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:08,009
would be very disappointing and you might be

424
00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:09,710
heartbroken and this would really suck?

425
00:15:10,169 --> 00:15:10,669
Or

426
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,529
is it like, I can't I can't even

427
00:15:13,529 --> 00:15:15,529
see myself moving forward with this or doing

428
00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:17,309
if we can't go to the next step?

429
00:15:17,370 --> 00:15:18,809
Mhmm. And sometimes at the end of it,

430
00:15:18,809 --> 00:15:20,415
you might still get your heart broken

431
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,335
and heartbreak fucking sucks.

432
00:15:22,715 --> 00:15:24,475
But I would rather be done with a

433
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:26,075
person who is not right for me and

434
00:15:26,075 --> 00:15:28,475
deal with the pain of the heartbreak and

435
00:15:28,475 --> 00:15:29,995
then be free to go find the person

436
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:32,075
who is right for me. So it's it's

437
00:15:32,075 --> 00:15:33,455
delicate. It's complicated.

438
00:15:34,899 --> 00:15:36,420
It you know? But, yeah, you have to

439
00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:38,279
have you just have to have the conversation.

440
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:38,740
Mhmm.

441
00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:40,200
I think typical

442
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:42,840
what we would consider typical communication

443
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,860
kind of best practices apply here. So you

444
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:47,605
don't spring it on them when it's in

445
00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:49,605
a busy moment. You literally say, hey. There's

446
00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:51,125
some things I'd like to talk about. Mhmm.

447
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:52,644
Can we set aside a time? Can we

448
00:15:52,644 --> 00:15:54,425
meet? Can we get a coffee? Can we

449
00:15:54,884 --> 00:15:57,365
call? Like, however you normally communicate. Right? And

450
00:15:57,365 --> 00:15:58,904
and plan the time

451
00:15:59,524 --> 00:16:01,925
so that they are they are focused on

452
00:16:01,925 --> 00:16:03,360
you and you can have this conversation.

453
00:16:04,139 --> 00:16:05,580
You also have to be prepared for them

454
00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,100
to need time to go away and think

455
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,259
about it. If they're not sure of what

456
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:10,240
they wanna do,

457
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,059
you know, you gotta give them that time

458
00:16:12,059 --> 00:16:13,660
and and let them come back to you.

459
00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:14,160
Right.

460
00:16:15,644 --> 00:16:17,185
But but yeah. I mean,

461
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:18,945
sometimes it's

462
00:16:19,485 --> 00:16:20,545
just take the leap.

463
00:16:20,925 --> 00:16:22,445
Mhmm. If Yeah. If the way things are

464
00:16:22,445 --> 00:16:23,365
going, you just

465
00:16:23,805 --> 00:16:24,305
it's

466
00:16:24,845 --> 00:16:27,004
unsustainable to you because you really wanna go

467
00:16:27,004 --> 00:16:28,785
to the next level, then

468
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,799
just do it. If you're kind of happy

469
00:16:31,799 --> 00:16:33,959
where you're at and it's you're like, no.

470
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,799
No. I'm I'm not this this can go

471
00:16:35,799 --> 00:16:36,299
longer.

472
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,360
Maybe feel them out. Maybe

473
00:16:39,079 --> 00:16:41,355
I like to do the ask hypothetical questions.

474
00:16:41,674 --> 00:16:42,654
What if we

475
00:16:43,355 --> 00:16:44,954
imagine something you think y'all would do as

476
00:16:44,954 --> 00:16:46,654
a romantic couple? Right?

477
00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:49,115
Could you imagine if we ever fill in

478
00:16:49,115 --> 00:16:51,674
the blank and their response will sometimes be

479
00:16:51,674 --> 00:16:53,970
all the information you need about whether to

480
00:16:54,449 --> 00:16:56,149
actually tell them outright. Yeah.

481
00:16:56,929 --> 00:16:57,429
Okay.

482
00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,610
How can I find the deepest kinks of

483
00:17:02,610 --> 00:17:03,269
my partner?

484
00:17:07,424 --> 00:17:08,724
The deepest kinks.

485
00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:11,345
You know what? Sit down and do a

486
00:17:11,345 --> 00:17:11,845
checklist.

487
00:17:12,384 --> 00:17:13,904
Yeah. We have one for free if you

488
00:17:13,904 --> 00:17:15,664
subscribe to our newsletter, but you can also

489
00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:18,244
literally Google BDSM checklist. They will come up.

490
00:17:18,544 --> 00:17:20,464
I I think that's the best way to,

491
00:17:20,464 --> 00:17:22,244
you know, find out a lot of things,

492
00:17:23,879 --> 00:17:25,559
you know, or even even bring it up

493
00:17:25,559 --> 00:17:27,579
in in a conversation. You know,

494
00:17:28,279 --> 00:17:29,720
what do what do you think about such

495
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,419
and such, you know? Right. Also,

496
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,599
define for yourself what you think deepest kinks

497
00:17:34,599 --> 00:17:37,099
mean. Mhmm. Are they the kinks that are

498
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:39,494
the kind of stuff they're not ready to

499
00:17:40,195 --> 00:17:42,295
admit to themselves? Is that what you think?

500
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,275
If you think your partner has those kinds

501
00:17:44,275 --> 00:17:46,674
of kinks, are they kinks that they hint

502
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,535
at, but they are not ready to

503
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,934
move forward in a conversation with?

504
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,779
Do you just believe that there must be

505
00:17:54,779 --> 00:17:57,339
more than what they're telling you? You know,

506
00:17:57,339 --> 00:17:58,859
some of that's a time thing. I

507
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,419
deepest kinks is a little

508
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:03,494
there's a reason I I put this

509
00:18:04,214 --> 00:18:05,994
in here. It's a it's a little

510
00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:07,894
I know I can't think of the words

511
00:18:07,894 --> 00:18:09,595
I want to describe it, but, basically,

512
00:18:10,295 --> 00:18:11,815
if I could find other words to describe

513
00:18:11,815 --> 00:18:12,555
what I mean.

514
00:18:13,654 --> 00:18:15,115
It's like supposing

515
00:18:15,654 --> 00:18:17,734
it's assuming that what your partner is telling

516
00:18:17,734 --> 00:18:21,049
you are their kinks, that there's something else

517
00:18:21,049 --> 00:18:24,329
underlying or that these kinks are okay kinks,

518
00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:27,049
but somewhere inside of them are better, more

519
00:18:27,049 --> 00:18:28,190
meaningful kinks.

520
00:18:28,569 --> 00:18:30,404
And maybe that's true,

521
00:18:31,045 --> 00:18:31,865
but maybe

522
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:34,244
they know what they like today. They know

523
00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:36,565
what they're into. They're interested in. They're willing

524
00:18:36,565 --> 00:18:37,144
to do.

525
00:18:37,924 --> 00:18:38,424
And

526
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,585
they might, over time,

527
00:18:41,365 --> 00:18:44,164
discover that there are other things they're into,

528
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:47,839
but they can't discover them until they explore

529
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,980
what they're into right now. And that does

530
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:53,019
not invalidate finding new kinks down the road

531
00:18:53,019 --> 00:18:55,579
does not invalidate the early day kinks that

532
00:18:55,579 --> 00:18:57,200
maybe air quotes seem easier

533
00:18:57,660 --> 00:19:00,244
from your perspective or less intense

534
00:19:00,545 --> 00:19:02,945
or like, my first thing is before you

535
00:19:02,945 --> 00:19:04,464
can find out what their, quote, deepest things

536
00:19:04,464 --> 00:19:06,384
are, what do you mean by that? What

537
00:19:06,384 --> 00:19:08,404
are you searching for? Are you looking for

538
00:19:08,785 --> 00:19:11,105
the secret stuff that most people won't admit

539
00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:13,904
to somebody else yet? Well, that is time,

540
00:19:13,904 --> 00:19:14,404
trust,

541
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:18,079
honesty, integrity. Mhmm. You gotta build a relationship.

542
00:19:18,079 --> 00:19:19,759
So it's gotta be real, real comfortable with

543
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:22,160
you to tell. Sometimes their deepest, darkest ones

544
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,160
that they're afraid they might be rejected for

545
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,160
or they feel are too taboo, and they're

546
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,224
not ready to. And and there there is

547
00:19:28,224 --> 00:19:30,464
something that you want to go be careful

548
00:19:30,464 --> 00:19:33,025
about because what you don't wanna do is,

549
00:19:33,025 --> 00:19:34,625
you know, if you do get them to

550
00:19:34,625 --> 00:19:36,865
open up about, you know, something that like

551
00:19:36,865 --> 00:19:38,164
that, you know,

552
00:19:38,625 --> 00:19:39,105
don't be

553
00:19:39,744 --> 00:19:40,884
do not be judgmental.

554
00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,549
Right. Okay? Do not react in a judgmental

555
00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:46,890
way. Mhmm. Exactly. So, yeah, think about what

556
00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:49,369
you mean by deepest kinks. Mhmm. And if

557
00:19:49,369 --> 00:19:51,849
you're thinking, oh, well, they're doing these basic

558
00:19:51,849 --> 00:19:54,509
things, but I'm sure there's something else. Mhmm.

559
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:56,765
You might be right that there will be

560
00:19:56,765 --> 00:19:59,244
something else, but that's not really for you

561
00:19:59,244 --> 00:20:01,085
to pull out of them. That is for

562
00:20:01,085 --> 00:20:01,585
them

563
00:20:02,125 --> 00:20:05,265
to develop enough trust with you and willingness

564
00:20:06,525 --> 00:20:09,085
and safety to be vulnerable with you, to

565
00:20:09,085 --> 00:20:10,140
let that out

566
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,859
when they're ready, when they figure it out.

567
00:20:12,859 --> 00:20:15,420
Right? There are things that were real easy

568
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:17,019
for me to be like, heck yeah. I

569
00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:19,180
can I'm I'm down for spanking. I'm down

570
00:20:19,180 --> 00:20:21,500
for submission. Let's do this thing. And then

571
00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,440
other things I had to come to gradually

572
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:26,065
over time as I got more comfortable to

573
00:20:26,065 --> 00:20:27,585
even go, oh, yeah. I'm kinda turned on

574
00:20:27,585 --> 00:20:28,785
by that. Or, oh, yeah. I'm kind of

575
00:20:28,785 --> 00:20:30,325
intrigued by that. And then

576
00:20:30,865 --> 00:20:33,184
I could only tell a partner that if

577
00:20:33,184 --> 00:20:34,944
we had developed the relationship where I knew

578
00:20:34,944 --> 00:20:36,804
I was safe to do that. Yeah.

579
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,819
So, yeah, that's what I would say is,

580
00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:43,180
do some deep thinking about what you think

581
00:20:43,180 --> 00:20:45,259
deepest means. And then if you wanna know

582
00:20:45,259 --> 00:20:47,339
what their internal world is, you gotta earn

583
00:20:47,339 --> 00:20:49,660
their trust and and really earn their trust,

584
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:51,585
not Oh, yeah. Not do that fake shit

585
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,105
that some people do of, I'm gonna say

586
00:20:53,105 --> 00:20:54,304
all the right things so they'll tell me

587
00:20:54,304 --> 00:20:56,464
anything, but I don't actually like like, be

588
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:56,964
legit

589
00:20:57,505 --> 00:21:00,065
and fucking earn it. Earn that information from

590
00:21:00,065 --> 00:21:01,765
them. Oh, yeah. That's what that is.

591
00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:03,125
Okay.

592
00:21:03,505 --> 00:21:04,759
Alright. How

593
00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:08,019
do you deal with a dom who has

594
00:21:08,019 --> 00:21:10,119
a different love language from you?

595
00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:12,820
Oh, I had thoughts. So if you feel

596
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:14,420
go ahead, please, because I know I suck

597
00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:16,740
up all the oxygen. No. I'm no. I

598
00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:18,420
go ahead because I need to think about

599
00:21:18,420 --> 00:21:19,744
that one from you. I thought so. Because

600
00:21:19,744 --> 00:21:21,744
here's the thing. Here's my first of all,

601
00:21:21,744 --> 00:21:24,545
love languages, we've done episodes on love languages

602
00:21:24,545 --> 00:21:26,164
in the past, the deep, deep past.

603
00:21:26,625 --> 00:21:28,805
They are inherently flawed because,

604
00:21:29,265 --> 00:21:30,865
like, a lot of personality things, they can't

605
00:21:30,865 --> 00:21:31,684
cover everything.

606
00:21:31,985 --> 00:21:32,485
But

607
00:21:33,105 --> 00:21:36,230
in general, the way a love language works

608
00:21:37,009 --> 00:21:37,509
is

609
00:21:37,809 --> 00:21:39,490
it's meant to be when you know your

610
00:21:39,490 --> 00:21:42,070
partner's love language, that is then how

611
00:21:42,690 --> 00:21:43,190
they

612
00:21:43,730 --> 00:21:44,950
want to receive

613
00:21:45,330 --> 00:21:47,644
love and affection and attention from you.

614
00:21:48,025 --> 00:21:51,225
So you can have different love languages. But

615
00:21:51,225 --> 00:21:53,005
if you're gonna follow the love languages

616
00:21:53,865 --> 00:21:54,365
model,

617
00:21:54,745 --> 00:21:57,705
which is imperfect, like super imperfect, but it's

618
00:21:57,705 --> 00:21:58,605
there, whatever,

619
00:22:01,789 --> 00:22:04,269
Then knowing each other's love language is important

620
00:22:04,269 --> 00:22:05,710
as long as you're willing to act on

621
00:22:05,710 --> 00:22:08,930
what their love language is. If they respond

622
00:22:08,990 --> 00:22:09,809
more to,

623
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:13,835
attention, I think it is Mhmm. But that's

624
00:22:13,835 --> 00:22:16,075
not your love language. Quality time. Quality time.

625
00:22:16,075 --> 00:22:18,634
Mhmm. Then you have to decide for yourself,

626
00:22:18,634 --> 00:22:20,555
are you willing to give them the thing

627
00:22:20,555 --> 00:22:21,055
that

628
00:22:21,355 --> 00:22:24,234
speaks to them, that feels like love to

629
00:22:24,234 --> 00:22:26,634
them? Does it matter if you're different as

630
00:22:26,634 --> 00:22:28,700
long as you're willing to do things that

631
00:22:28,700 --> 00:22:31,820
you wouldn't necessarily want for yourself Right. But

632
00:22:31,820 --> 00:22:33,500
that they want. Now the flaw in the

633
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,259
love languages, there's many flaws. But one of

634
00:22:35,259 --> 00:22:36,720
the flaws is that,

635
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:40,140
recently I watched a video on this where

636
00:22:40,140 --> 00:22:41,440
the person was saying, essentially,

637
00:22:42,625 --> 00:22:44,964
those five classifications of love languages,

638
00:22:45,825 --> 00:22:48,164
with exceptions because there's no universal,

639
00:22:48,785 --> 00:22:50,164
nearly every human

640
00:22:50,785 --> 00:22:53,025
responds at different points in life from different

641
00:22:53,025 --> 00:22:55,410
people to all of those love languages. Right?

642
00:22:55,890 --> 00:22:58,049
So we, you know, we can rank them

643
00:22:58,049 --> 00:22:59,190
all day long, but

644
00:22:59,650 --> 00:23:01,410
there are times I want quality time or

645
00:23:01,410 --> 00:23:03,250
I want physical touch, and I'm not really

646
00:23:03,250 --> 00:23:05,809
a physical touch kinda person. Right? There's times

647
00:23:05,809 --> 00:23:07,650
I want acts of service even though as

648
00:23:07,650 --> 00:23:10,015
a submissive, I tend to get deeply uncomfortable

649
00:23:10,315 --> 00:23:11,454
with acts of service

650
00:23:12,075 --> 00:23:13,454
provided to me. Right?

651
00:23:13,914 --> 00:23:16,154
So, you know, take the love languages thing

652
00:23:16,154 --> 00:23:17,355
with a grain of salt. But if you

653
00:23:17,355 --> 00:23:19,515
are gonna follow it as a model for

654
00:23:19,515 --> 00:23:21,214
how you interact in your relationship,

655
00:23:21,595 --> 00:23:23,194
it does not matter that you have different

656
00:23:23,194 --> 00:23:25,329
love languages. Are you willing to do what

657
00:23:25,329 --> 00:23:25,829
they're

658
00:23:26,450 --> 00:23:28,529
saying their love languages and that would be

659
00:23:28,529 --> 00:23:31,009
meaningful to them? Are they willing to give

660
00:23:31,009 --> 00:23:32,470
you the kind of

661
00:23:33,169 --> 00:23:35,089
whatever it is your love language is that

662
00:23:35,089 --> 00:23:37,664
speaks to you? That's the if you're gonna

663
00:23:37,664 --> 00:23:39,365
follow it, that's what that means.

664
00:23:39,664 --> 00:23:41,904
Knowing them doesn't mean shit if then the

665
00:23:41,904 --> 00:23:42,964
partner you have

666
00:23:43,265 --> 00:23:44,625
goes, well, I'm gonna do what I wanna

667
00:23:44,625 --> 00:23:46,224
do. I don't care what your love language

668
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:46,724
is.

669
00:23:47,184 --> 00:23:49,184
So that that's what I think on that.

670
00:23:49,184 --> 00:23:50,640
I've been thinking about this ever since I

671
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,700
saw that one. Come in. Nope. I'm good.

672
00:23:53,759 --> 00:23:55,700
I'm gonna defer to you on this one.

673
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,039
Oh, okay. Okay? Thanks. You you you you

674
00:23:59,039 --> 00:23:59,859
did fine.

675
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,059
Okay. Thanks.

676
00:24:03,450 --> 00:24:03,950
Okay.

677
00:24:06,365 --> 00:24:08,865
Okay. Let's go to some more here. K.

678
00:24:11,724 --> 00:24:13,484
I think this one is a a more

679
00:24:13,484 --> 00:24:16,044
simplistic answer than they realize. I wonder if

680
00:24:16,044 --> 00:24:17,804
you will have that immediate thought that I

681
00:24:17,804 --> 00:24:18,304
had.

682
00:24:18,764 --> 00:24:22,019
How to negotiate with an avoidant dominant dominant

683
00:24:22,019 --> 00:24:22,519
partner?

684
00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:24,519
I don't feel safe,

685
00:24:25,140 --> 00:24:26,840
but he avoids accountability.

686
00:24:28,259 --> 00:24:30,420
The answer was in the last sentence, but

687
00:24:30,420 --> 00:24:32,200
go ahead. Go ahead. Please say it.

688
00:24:33,619 --> 00:24:34,119
Run.

689
00:24:34,420 --> 00:24:34,920
Uh-huh.

690
00:24:36,704 --> 00:24:39,424
I'm sorry. I do not trust us, not

691
00:24:39,424 --> 00:24:41,424
nary a person who calls himself a dominant

692
00:24:41,424 --> 00:24:43,345
if they can't be held accountable. That's right.

693
00:24:43,345 --> 00:24:45,585
They can't admit wrongdoing, if they can't say

694
00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:47,605
they're sorry, if they can't change their behaviors,

695
00:24:47,664 --> 00:24:49,265
if they can't do the things that they

696
00:24:49,265 --> 00:24:51,509
say they're gonna do, if they can't earn

697
00:24:51,509 --> 00:24:55,029
trust and maintain trust and nope. Yep. Yeah.

698
00:24:55,029 --> 00:24:56,650
No. That's no.

699
00:24:57,910 --> 00:24:59,529
If if someone is unable

700
00:25:01,430 --> 00:25:02,410
to have accountability

701
00:25:04,054 --> 00:25:05,734
Or be held accountable. Or or be held

702
00:25:05,734 --> 00:25:06,794
accountable. Yeah.

703
00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:08,634
You know,

704
00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:10,615
let's face it. That that can be a

705
00:25:10,615 --> 00:25:12,775
very dangerous thing Yeah. In in the things

706
00:25:12,775 --> 00:25:13,674
that we do.

707
00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:14,554
Okay?

708
00:25:15,255 --> 00:25:18,214
So yeah. That's easy. Run. So I'm not

709
00:25:18,214 --> 00:25:20,380
as we did an episode on avoidant and

710
00:25:20,380 --> 00:25:21,660
a cup those other

711
00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:23,579
it's one of those things we did the

712
00:25:23,579 --> 00:25:25,339
episode. The information went into my brain. I

713
00:25:25,339 --> 00:25:26,619
said what I had to say. The information

714
00:25:26,619 --> 00:25:27,740
is now gone from my brain, so I

715
00:25:27,740 --> 00:25:30,299
don't remember as much. But the thing my

716
00:25:30,299 --> 00:25:30,799
my

717
00:25:31,660 --> 00:25:34,240
basic memories and limited understanding of the avoidant

718
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:34,960
and the

719
00:25:35,605 --> 00:25:37,065
anxious and the blah blah blah.

720
00:25:37,605 --> 00:25:38,744
We can all be

721
00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,005
some version of that and sometimes combinations of

722
00:25:42,005 --> 00:25:43,224
that and all that.

723
00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:46,244
And those can be truths about who we

724
00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:47,970
are. Like, our our instinct maybe is to

725
00:25:47,970 --> 00:25:50,130
be avoidant. Our instinct is to be an

726
00:25:50,130 --> 00:25:51,990
anxiously attached partner.

727
00:25:52,369 --> 00:25:53,109
But it's

728
00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:55,410
what are you willing to do to work

729
00:25:55,410 --> 00:25:56,849
through that to the best of your ability?

730
00:25:56,849 --> 00:25:58,690
Sometimes you need therapy for that. Sometimes it's

731
00:25:58,690 --> 00:26:00,734
like outside stuff you gotta work through shit.

732
00:26:01,054 --> 00:26:01,554
But

733
00:26:02,095 --> 00:26:04,355
when you want to call yourself,

734
00:26:04,734 --> 00:26:06,575
in this case, we're talking power exchange, the

735
00:26:06,575 --> 00:26:08,894
dominant partner who is in control and takes

736
00:26:08,894 --> 00:26:11,054
control and has power and has authority and

737
00:26:11,054 --> 00:26:12,974
whatever whatever whatever that you're granting as a

738
00:26:12,974 --> 00:26:13,474
submissive.

739
00:26:13,829 --> 00:26:14,329
And

740
00:26:14,789 --> 00:26:15,690
they refuse

741
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:18,630
to do anything about the fact that they

742
00:26:18,630 --> 00:26:21,589
are avoidant and their avoidance is making them

743
00:26:21,589 --> 00:26:24,470
a bad dom, then it's not about them

744
00:26:24,470 --> 00:26:25,289
being avoidant.

745
00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:27,190
I mean, it is, but it isn't. It's

746
00:26:27,190 --> 00:26:30,144
about being a bad dom, a dangerous person,

747
00:26:30,285 --> 00:26:31,565
somebody who is not safe to play with.

748
00:26:31,565 --> 00:26:33,484
And for you to say, I don't feel

749
00:26:33,484 --> 00:26:35,825
safe, that is all that you need.

750
00:26:36,444 --> 00:26:36,944
Sometimes

751
00:26:37,244 --> 00:26:39,585
it's somebody not feeling safe if there's miscommunication

752
00:26:39,884 --> 00:26:42,865
somewhere. But sometimes it is your intuition screaming

753
00:26:42,924 --> 00:26:43,585
at you.

754
00:26:44,130 --> 00:26:44,630
Just

755
00:26:45,650 --> 00:26:47,269
just listen to that voice.

756
00:26:47,650 --> 00:26:49,650
Very every once in a while, you'll look

757
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,009
back on it and go, well, maybe I

758
00:26:51,009 --> 00:26:53,650
wasn't really unsafe in the moment. I know

759
00:26:53,650 --> 00:26:55,890
more now. But it don't matter. In this

760
00:26:55,890 --> 00:26:57,190
moment, you feel unsafe,

761
00:26:57,890 --> 00:27:00,045
that's information. Use it. Yeah.

762
00:27:00,424 --> 00:27:01,724
Use it. Mhmm.

763
00:27:02,105 --> 00:27:02,605
Okay.

764
00:27:02,984 --> 00:27:05,005
Next one. Alright.

765
00:27:08,025 --> 00:27:09,865
We have definitely answered this one before, but

766
00:27:09,865 --> 00:27:11,065
I know it comes up from time to

767
00:27:11,065 --> 00:27:13,005
time, so we'll do it again. Any suggestions

768
00:27:13,144 --> 00:27:16,769
for incorporating power exchange into a relationship when

769
00:27:16,769 --> 00:27:17,910
out in public?

770
00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:20,470
Yes.

771
00:27:21,170 --> 00:27:22,690
All kinds of things. All kinds of yeah.

772
00:27:22,690 --> 00:27:24,929
I mean, we we do that. We and

773
00:27:24,929 --> 00:27:26,929
have been doing that. Because sometimes that's the

774
00:27:26,929 --> 00:27:28,964
only way we can express our power exchanges

775
00:27:28,964 --> 00:27:30,744
in ways nobody can clog. Exactly.

776
00:27:32,964 --> 00:27:34,404
You know, one of the, one of the

777
00:27:34,404 --> 00:27:35,224
things is,

778
00:27:36,484 --> 00:27:37,305
even though

779
00:27:37,684 --> 00:27:40,265
Kayla is the submissive in the relationship,

780
00:27:40,970 --> 00:27:42,410
when we go out, she's not allowed to

781
00:27:42,410 --> 00:27:44,890
touch, door handles. Right. You're holding the door

782
00:27:44,890 --> 00:27:45,470
for me.

783
00:27:45,930 --> 00:27:47,710
See, we're it's cis heteronormative

784
00:27:48,090 --> 00:27:50,250
appearing. Mhmm. So all of the little old

785
00:27:50,250 --> 00:27:52,970
ladies think that is just the sweetest thing,

786
00:27:52,970 --> 00:27:55,054
and yet it would probably they would not

787
00:27:55,054 --> 00:27:56,434
think it was so sweet if

788
00:27:56,894 --> 00:27:58,894
roles are reversed or if it did not

789
00:27:58,894 --> 00:28:01,134
look so, air quote, normal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

790
00:28:01,134 --> 00:28:01,934
Mhmm. No.

791
00:28:02,734 --> 00:28:05,054
She she always when we're out, we she

792
00:28:05,054 --> 00:28:06,355
walks on my right side.

793
00:28:06,654 --> 00:28:08,190
There was a time period, I think it

794
00:28:08,190 --> 00:28:11,089
was deep in pandemic days. Like, we weren't

795
00:28:11,230 --> 00:28:12,990
hold up in the house anymore, but we

796
00:28:12,990 --> 00:28:15,169
didn't linger anywhere that we went.

797
00:28:15,549 --> 00:28:18,349
I remember walking through a Starbucks parking lot,

798
00:28:18,349 --> 00:28:21,534
and we things had gotten way off between

799
00:28:21,754 --> 00:28:25,355
us. There's a deep disconnect. Yep. And I

800
00:28:25,355 --> 00:28:25,855
was

801
00:28:26,315 --> 00:28:28,154
I was willing to walk on the side

802
00:28:28,154 --> 00:28:30,734
that I'm supposed to walk on, but somebody

803
00:28:31,274 --> 00:28:32,575
was making it difficult,

804
00:28:32,875 --> 00:28:35,849
maybe on purpose, maybe not. I was whining

805
00:28:35,849 --> 00:28:37,869
about it. I was hopping and puffing.

806
00:28:38,890 --> 00:28:41,450
Next thing I know, I in the parking

807
00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:43,930
lot, y'all. I feel a hand in my

808
00:28:43,930 --> 00:28:46,650
hair, and I get yanked over to the

809
00:28:46,650 --> 00:28:47,150
correct

810
00:28:47,450 --> 00:28:47,950
side.

811
00:28:48,730 --> 00:28:49,934
So if you think

812
00:28:50,414 --> 00:28:51,875
walking in a specific,

813
00:28:52,174 --> 00:28:53,154
like, location

814
00:28:54,015 --> 00:28:56,894
in comparison to your partner can't be power

815
00:28:56,894 --> 00:28:58,575
exchange, well, talk to me when you get

816
00:28:58,575 --> 00:29:00,995
yanked back into position by your damn hair

817
00:29:01,775 --> 00:29:03,394
in a parking lot,

818
00:29:03,789 --> 00:29:05,630
It was empty. JB is aware of his

819
00:29:05,630 --> 00:29:07,009
surroundings. It was fine. Yeah.

820
00:29:08,029 --> 00:29:10,369
You know, I am your coffee slut. So

821
00:29:10,430 --> 00:29:12,190
when we used to go out to eat,

822
00:29:12,190 --> 00:29:14,190
like, for breakfast and stuff, if you order

823
00:29:14,190 --> 00:29:16,269
a coffee Mhmm. I put the cream and

824
00:29:16,269 --> 00:29:18,775
sugar in. Now does it confuse servers? Yes.

825
00:29:18,775 --> 00:29:20,634
We don't give a fuck because it's not

826
00:29:20,855 --> 00:29:22,555
it's not anything that is,

827
00:29:22,855 --> 00:29:25,255
like, a consent violation. It's just a person

828
00:29:25,255 --> 00:29:27,095
making their coffee. Right? Right. But,

829
00:29:27,815 --> 00:29:30,480
so it's little things. And to do this,

830
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,660
if if it's a part of your, like,

831
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,859
power exchange and it's not outward kinks like

832
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,240
being walked on a leash Yeah. You know,

833
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,559
like, the stuff that's, like, kinda noticeable and

834
00:29:40,559 --> 00:29:41,059
and

835
00:29:41,359 --> 00:29:43,440
you're purposely looking for something that people can't

836
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,105
clock Yeah. You're gonna have to think kinda

837
00:29:46,105 --> 00:29:48,904
deep about what how does your power exchange

838
00:29:48,904 --> 00:29:50,204
work in private?

839
00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:52,585
For us, it's a I think it feels

840
00:29:52,585 --> 00:29:53,964
easier. I am a service.

841
00:29:54,664 --> 00:29:56,825
So if my daddy says do this thing

842
00:29:56,825 --> 00:29:57,565
for me,

843
00:29:58,265 --> 00:29:59,579
I'm in subby heaven. Right?

844
00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:02,779
So we can find things that I, quote,

845
00:30:02,779 --> 00:30:04,480
do for him Yeah.

846
00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:06,859
That don't look like anything Mhmm.

847
00:30:07,339 --> 00:30:10,140
When we are around family. And it's very

848
00:30:10,380 --> 00:30:11,519
again, it's heteronormative.

849
00:30:12,619 --> 00:30:13,679
It's southern,

850
00:30:14,140 --> 00:30:15,519
like, stuff that,

851
00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:17,015
you

852
00:30:17,394 --> 00:30:19,315
know, the the women are serving the men.

853
00:30:19,315 --> 00:30:21,795
Like, that's less common than it once was,

854
00:30:21,795 --> 00:30:24,035
but it's still old school. And I I

855
00:30:24,035 --> 00:30:25,475
am one of the youngest in the family,

856
00:30:25,475 --> 00:30:27,875
so it's old school in my family. And

857
00:30:27,875 --> 00:30:28,696
so when we're at a family gathering, the

858
00:30:28,696 --> 00:30:28,739
fact that I make JB's plate for him

859
00:30:28,739 --> 00:30:30,039
and bring it to him, gathering, the fact

860
00:30:30,039 --> 00:30:31,525
that I make JB's plate for him and

861
00:30:31,525 --> 00:30:32,400
bring it to him, everybody thinks I'm just

862
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,720
a good southern wife. No. I'm being a

863
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,880
good citizen because that's what my daddy told

864
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,279
me to do. Right? It's those kinds of

865
00:30:38,279 --> 00:30:39,799
things. You have to think about things that

866
00:30:39,799 --> 00:30:41,500
you either are already doing

867
00:30:45,075 --> 00:30:47,474
or could be doing that other people would

868
00:30:47,474 --> 00:30:49,234
not even they're just not even gonna notice

869
00:30:49,234 --> 00:30:50,674
because it's just part of the norm for

870
00:30:50,674 --> 00:30:53,234
them or it's but it's meaningful to you.

871
00:30:53,234 --> 00:30:54,355
I mean, one of the one of the

872
00:30:54,355 --> 00:30:55,875
other things she does is when we go

873
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:57,509
and get in the car, we'll go somewhere,

874
00:30:57,990 --> 00:30:58,490
she,

875
00:30:59,990 --> 00:31:01,130
gives me my sunglasses,

876
00:31:01,509 --> 00:31:02,329
puts my,

877
00:31:02,630 --> 00:31:05,190
you know, regular glasses away. We even have

878
00:31:05,509 --> 00:31:07,750
this helps. We're very routine oriented people, so

879
00:31:07,750 --> 00:31:09,430
once we do something, like, twice, we have

880
00:31:09,430 --> 00:31:10,250
to do it forever.

881
00:31:11,589 --> 00:31:12,089
I

882
00:31:12,445 --> 00:31:13,744
get the cart quarter

883
00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:15,585
out when we go to Aldi.

884
00:31:15,965 --> 00:31:18,285
Yep. JB has never had to get his

885
00:31:18,285 --> 00:31:19,265
own cart quarter

886
00:31:19,724 --> 00:31:22,305
ever since we started going to Aldi. Also,

887
00:31:24,125 --> 00:31:26,160
when he he loads up the car because

888
00:31:26,460 --> 00:31:28,000
I put everything in the

889
00:31:28,380 --> 00:31:30,460
cart and I load the conveyor and I

890
00:31:30,460 --> 00:31:33,279
pay. That's not a submissive thing. That's a,

891
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:37,019
that's a control freak part of me because

892
00:31:37,019 --> 00:31:38,779
I just bought very special way how she

893
00:31:38,779 --> 00:31:41,144
loads the belt. And even though it's Aldi

894
00:31:41,144 --> 00:31:42,444
and it doesn't fucking matter.

895
00:31:42,825 --> 00:31:44,605
I got away. Just let me do it.

896
00:31:44,744 --> 00:31:47,384
So JB unloads the cart, puts everything in

897
00:31:47,384 --> 00:31:48,125
the car boner.

898
00:31:48,505 --> 00:31:50,365
Yeah. But what I do

899
00:31:50,984 --> 00:31:54,150
every time, unless I'm not feeling good Mhmm.

900
00:31:54,230 --> 00:31:55,910
I take the cart back and go retrieve

901
00:31:55,910 --> 00:31:58,309
our cart quarter. This man has almost never

902
00:31:58,309 --> 00:31:59,750
had to do anything with a cart quarter

903
00:31:59,750 --> 00:32:00,730
in his life.

904
00:32:03,830 --> 00:32:05,830
I have made the cart quarter my bitch.

905
00:32:05,830 --> 00:32:08,070
Okay? What? The cart quarter? Right. Right. Right.

906
00:32:08,070 --> 00:32:09,674
Yeah. How do I how do I do

907
00:32:09,674 --> 00:32:10,414
this at Aldi?

908
00:32:11,595 --> 00:32:13,694
And it's it really is little things

909
00:32:13,994 --> 00:32:16,075
that they just have to have meaning to

910
00:32:16,075 --> 00:32:16,575
you.

911
00:32:16,954 --> 00:32:17,454
Mhmm.

912
00:32:17,914 --> 00:32:20,794
They are not specific to JB and Kayla

913
00:32:20,794 --> 00:32:22,690
and how we are. It's like things that

914
00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:25,009
we discovered that I could again, I'm a

915
00:32:25,009 --> 00:32:26,869
service so this makes it a little easier.

916
00:32:26,930 --> 00:32:28,869
Are there things I can do for JB

917
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:31,090
Mhmm. That just look like I'm a nice

918
00:32:31,090 --> 00:32:32,789
human being and I'm a nice wife?

919
00:32:33,250 --> 00:32:35,090
Okay. Are there things I can do that

920
00:32:35,090 --> 00:32:36,850
just look like I'm, quote, taking my turn,

921
00:32:36,850 --> 00:32:38,984
but really I'm doing it because that's an

922
00:32:39,284 --> 00:32:39,784
expectation

923
00:32:40,085 --> 00:32:41,544
that JB set? Yeah.

924
00:32:42,244 --> 00:32:45,044
Certain control things like walking on a certain

925
00:32:45,044 --> 00:32:47,204
side or, you know, never touching a door

926
00:32:47,204 --> 00:32:49,284
handle, which is not it's not never. I

927
00:32:49,284 --> 00:32:51,099
mean, we use common sense. If Jamie's hands

928
00:32:51,099 --> 00:32:52,899
are full, I'm gonna open a door. We

929
00:32:52,899 --> 00:32:54,899
would look real foolish standing at the door

930
00:32:54,899 --> 00:32:56,259
and me going, I'm sorry. I can't touch

931
00:32:56,259 --> 00:32:58,980
him. Right. I'm I'm sassy. I'm not bratty,

932
00:32:58,980 --> 00:32:59,880
y'all. Okay?

933
00:33:01,140 --> 00:33:02,980
Thin line. Thin line. That would not end

934
00:33:02,980 --> 00:33:05,399
well if I tried that shit. Thin line.

935
00:33:07,315 --> 00:33:07,815
So,

936
00:33:08,274 --> 00:33:09,954
yeah, you just it's one of those things

937
00:33:09,954 --> 00:33:10,034
that's

938
00:33:10,755 --> 00:33:13,154
we can give we anybody can share ideas,

939
00:33:13,154 --> 00:33:15,394
and if any resonate, feel free. Use them.

940
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:17,494
Try them. But it really is, like, kinda

941
00:33:18,299 --> 00:33:19,900
pay attention to the things that you're already

942
00:33:19,900 --> 00:33:22,700
doing. Can you can you give those things

943
00:33:22,700 --> 00:33:23,200
meaning

944
00:33:23,660 --> 00:33:25,900
and set them like, negotiate them in your

945
00:33:25,900 --> 00:33:27,740
power exchange so that then they really do

946
00:33:27,740 --> 00:33:29,900
have the meaning and they're officially part of

947
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:31,360
this is what we do in public.

948
00:33:32,460 --> 00:33:34,394
We do not, however, have some rule that

949
00:33:34,394 --> 00:33:36,154
I have to walk behind him. That would

950
00:33:36,154 --> 00:33:37,595
not I mean, I do sometimes because I'm

951
00:33:37,595 --> 00:33:39,515
walking slower. I used to be a fast

952
00:33:39,515 --> 00:33:40,494
walker, not anymore.

953
00:33:41,275 --> 00:33:42,875
And we don't have the rule that I

954
00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:44,555
don't have to speak. That would not work.

955
00:33:44,555 --> 00:33:46,429
No. That would just never have worked.

956
00:33:46,730 --> 00:33:47,929
But some people do. Some people do. She

957
00:33:47,929 --> 00:33:49,929
wouldn't. If she had to keep that all

958
00:33:49,929 --> 00:33:52,250
in, she'd explode. Because what would happen is

959
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:53,690
if it was you don't speak in public

960
00:33:53,690 --> 00:33:55,369
unless I gave you permission, the moment we

961
00:33:55,369 --> 00:33:56,429
got to the car,

962
00:33:57,129 --> 00:33:58,809
he wouldn't be able to handle it. Mm-mm.

963
00:33:58,809 --> 00:34:00,409
I couldn't handle it. I got thoughts. I

964
00:34:00,409 --> 00:34:02,115
got opinions. I need ear I need ear

965
00:34:02,115 --> 00:34:04,115
plugs. And quite frankly, I know there are

966
00:34:04,115 --> 00:34:06,115
power exchange folks who do that in in

967
00:34:06,115 --> 00:34:08,675
their relationship. And Right. Your kink is not

968
00:34:08,675 --> 00:34:10,434
my kink. Your kink is okay. I am

969
00:34:10,434 --> 00:34:13,335
deeply uncomfortable with it as a female submissive

970
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,659
because of, you know, living in a misogynistic

971
00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,280
patriarchal society where women are supposed to shut

972
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:21,139
up anyway. So you I'm not

973
00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:23,859
I I don't like it when

974
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:25,619
I mean yeah.

975
00:34:26,159 --> 00:34:28,079
Personally. Right. Everybody else can do what they

976
00:34:28,079 --> 00:34:28,579
want.

977
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:29,460
Okay.

978
00:34:30,255 --> 00:34:32,414
I'm gonna do a shameless promotion question. I

979
00:34:32,414 --> 00:34:34,674
appreciate this question this person asked. Same.

980
00:34:35,054 --> 00:34:37,954
Do you have any new goals slash merchandise

981
00:34:38,014 --> 00:34:39,635
that you want to do for your shop?

982
00:34:41,375 --> 00:34:43,454
Yes. And you know what's funny? In my

983
00:34:43,454 --> 00:34:44,820
mind, we have 2 shops because we have

984
00:34:44,820 --> 00:34:46,660
the Kinkery, which is, like, it's our bread

985
00:34:46,660 --> 00:34:47,860
and butter. We are here for the fucking

986
00:34:47,860 --> 00:34:48,680
king the kinkery.com.

987
00:34:49,940 --> 00:34:52,019
But we also have our Etsy shop. Yes.

988
00:34:52,019 --> 00:34:54,420
And that's the kinkery is your baby for

989
00:34:54,420 --> 00:34:56,420
all that I am deeply involved and help

990
00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:58,260
in it. The Etsy shop is my baby.

991
00:34:58,260 --> 00:35:00,795
True. So do you have anything about the

992
00:35:00,795 --> 00:35:02,394
kinkery? Because I do have a thing about

993
00:35:02,394 --> 00:35:03,775
the Etsy shop, don't worry.

994
00:35:04,394 --> 00:35:04,894
Okay.

995
00:35:06,155 --> 00:35:06,734
You know,

996
00:35:07,514 --> 00:35:09,755
sometimes I have more ideas than I have

997
00:35:09,755 --> 00:35:10,255
time.

998
00:35:11,914 --> 00:35:13,135
Mhmm. Okay?

999
00:35:13,674 --> 00:35:14,734
Yep. But,

1000
00:35:17,010 --> 00:35:18,230
I I have been

1001
00:35:19,170 --> 00:35:19,909
and I

1002
00:35:21,489 --> 00:35:22,469
I been thinking

1003
00:35:22,849 --> 00:35:23,349
about

1004
00:35:24,610 --> 00:35:25,110
plugs

1005
00:35:26,130 --> 00:35:29,190
made with resin. Butt plugs. Yeah. Okay. Just

1006
00:35:29,394 --> 00:35:31,635
gonna be real clear there. That is our

1007
00:35:31,635 --> 00:35:32,454
clear communication.

1008
00:35:33,155 --> 00:35:35,894
Anal plugs. Let's just kill the the monetization.

1009
00:35:37,155 --> 00:35:38,994
Yeah. YouTube doesn't like us already, so we

1010
00:35:38,994 --> 00:35:40,835
may as well, you know, just twist the

1011
00:35:40,835 --> 00:35:41,335
knife.

1012
00:35:44,780 --> 00:35:47,019
So yeah. You're So, you know, yeah, that

1013
00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:49,900
that is something I've been been noodling about

1014
00:35:49,900 --> 00:35:51,500
doing. Mhmm. You had I know you're probably

1015
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:52,539
not ready to talk about it. You had

1016
00:35:52,539 --> 00:35:53,519
a really cool idea

1017
00:35:53,820 --> 00:35:55,980
for a paddle that was based on,

1018
00:35:56,375 --> 00:35:58,135
a special order request that you did. We

1019
00:35:58,135 --> 00:35:59,974
did it the way we can do it

1020
00:35:59,974 --> 00:36:02,375
now. And JB's like, yeah. This is fine.

1021
00:36:02,375 --> 00:36:04,074
This is what they asked for, but

1022
00:36:05,734 --> 00:36:07,335
I know what I could do to make

1023
00:36:07,335 --> 00:36:10,329
it more sadistic and look even better. And

1024
00:36:10,329 --> 00:36:10,909
I was

1025
00:36:11,210 --> 00:36:12,569
like, well, I hope you could make that

1026
00:36:12,569 --> 00:36:14,329
happen. I just like it when your creative

1027
00:36:14,329 --> 00:36:16,889
juices are flowing. Yeah. Like, you know I

1028
00:36:16,889 --> 00:36:19,210
know. Life lives. And when the creative juices

1029
00:36:19,210 --> 00:36:21,769
stop flowing, it sucks because you're like you

1030
00:36:21,769 --> 00:36:24,105
feel stagnant. And yeah. I like it when

1031
00:36:24,505 --> 00:36:25,785
I mean, I like it when your juices

1032
00:36:25,785 --> 00:36:28,204
are flowing in general, but that's another conversation.

1033
00:36:29,864 --> 00:36:31,005
Anyway So,

1034
00:36:32,025 --> 00:36:33,625
you know, yeah, there's that and,

1035
00:36:35,030 --> 00:36:37,429
I'm I'm gonna be changing up the paddles

1036
00:36:37,429 --> 00:36:39,210
that I do, wood burning

1037
00:36:39,589 --> 00:36:40,409
Mhmm. On.

1038
00:36:41,030 --> 00:36:43,530
I I'm gonna be using a different style

1039
00:36:43,750 --> 00:36:45,530
of paddle, totally different from

1040
00:36:46,230 --> 00:36:47,829
most of any of the ones that I've

1041
00:36:47,829 --> 00:36:51,155
done thus far. Mhmm. You know, And,

1042
00:36:52,094 --> 00:36:53,715
got them ready to go. And

1043
00:36:55,295 --> 00:36:56,974
And now you started working on a thing

1044
00:36:56,974 --> 00:36:59,474
I desperately want you to to put out,

1045
00:37:01,295 --> 00:37:02,880
those very round, dangerous Oh,

1046
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:07,839
I mean, it's all a time thing. So

1047
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,599
I I did start on a bunch of

1048
00:37:09,599 --> 00:37:11,440
them. Yeah. Mhmm. But we're at a point

1049
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:12,960
now you can't get me 5 give me

1050
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,480
5 and let me call that a launch.

1051
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,864
Like, early days of the Kinkery, if I

1052
00:37:16,864 --> 00:37:19,063
had 5, I would have those for 3

1053
00:37:19,063 --> 00:37:21,262
months. Right. These days, we don't do a

1054
00:37:21,262 --> 00:37:24,012
launch with less than, like No. 15 or

1055
00:37:24,012 --> 00:37:26,486
20 or something. And we're that's still us

1056
00:37:26,486 --> 00:37:28,960
being small. So, yeah, he's gotta make a

1057
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,019
whole lot more before can And and, you

1058
00:37:31,019 --> 00:37:31,920
know, I I

1059
00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:33,760
on and off, I do,

1060
00:37:34,380 --> 00:37:36,300
you know, kind of one off paddles here

1061
00:37:36,300 --> 00:37:38,380
and there whenever I can, whenever I I

1062
00:37:38,380 --> 00:37:41,280
have the and and recently, I made one.

1063
00:37:44,234 --> 00:37:46,795
I I tickle my I I amuse myself

1064
00:37:46,795 --> 00:37:48,155
at the name I gave it. But go

1065
00:37:48,155 --> 00:37:48,655
ahead.

1066
00:37:49,594 --> 00:37:51,534
Basically, it it looked like a sword.

1067
00:37:51,994 --> 00:37:53,614
I made it to look like a sword.

1068
00:37:54,234 --> 00:37:56,734
And and I really liked it. It's it's

1069
00:37:57,150 --> 00:37:58,049
time consuming

1070
00:37:58,429 --> 00:37:59,730
to make. Yeah.

1071
00:38:00,829 --> 00:38:02,909
And it probably will never become like a

1072
00:38:02,909 --> 00:38:05,869
regular stock item. No. But, from time to

1073
00:38:05,869 --> 00:38:07,630
time, it's probably gonna Yeah. He liked it

1074
00:38:07,630 --> 00:38:08,909
so much he made a template for it.

1075
00:38:08,909 --> 00:38:10,190
That's how you know he wants to make

1076
00:38:10,190 --> 00:38:10,769
it again.

1077
00:38:12,164 --> 00:38:14,425
And so, of course, I got the practice

1078
00:38:14,565 --> 00:38:16,265
swats. It hurts like a motherfucker.

1079
00:38:17,445 --> 00:38:19,285
It's another one of those if a cane

1080
00:38:19,285 --> 00:38:21,045
in a paddle had a baby kinda situations.

1081
00:38:21,045 --> 00:38:21,545
Yeah.

1082
00:38:22,485 --> 00:38:23,305
And so

1083
00:38:24,539 --> 00:38:26,059
I like it when we have creative names.

1084
00:38:26,059 --> 00:38:27,420
We do not all have creative names for

1085
00:38:27,420 --> 00:38:28,940
all of our products. Some of the good

1086
00:38:28,940 --> 00:38:30,860
ones. Some of our products are just boring

1087
00:38:30,860 --> 00:38:32,800
old names because I'm not that smart.

1088
00:38:33,099 --> 00:38:34,700
But this one, I wanted it to be

1089
00:38:34,700 --> 00:38:36,494
clearly about a sword, but I was like,

1090
00:38:36,494 --> 00:38:38,335
but it needs to be about pain. And

1091
00:38:38,335 --> 00:38:38,835
so

1092
00:38:41,614 --> 00:38:42,755
instead of Excalibur,

1093
00:38:43,375 --> 00:38:44,275
it's Excaliburn.

1094
00:38:45,454 --> 00:38:47,135
Because that pain was a burning pain. I

1095
00:38:47,135 --> 00:38:49,610
just want you to know. And a, a

1096
00:38:49,610 --> 00:38:51,769
lovely kingster ordered it, and it's been sent

1097
00:38:51,769 --> 00:38:53,230
off to his new home. Yeah.

1098
00:38:53,690 --> 00:38:55,130
So anything else you wanna say about the

1099
00:38:55,130 --> 00:38:56,829
cankary? I think that's Okay.

1100
00:38:57,610 --> 00:38:59,530
That's best to you. I have a goal

1101
00:38:59,530 --> 00:39:01,125
for I have 2 goals for the Etsy

1102
00:39:01,204 --> 00:39:03,204
shop, and I started making one of them

1103
00:39:03,204 --> 00:39:05,125
happen literally the day before you started recording

1104
00:39:05,125 --> 00:39:05,864
slash streaming.

1105
00:39:06,164 --> 00:39:07,784
So I wanna add more workbooks.

1106
00:39:08,724 --> 00:39:10,425
I have one ready to go,

1107
00:39:10,965 --> 00:39:11,625
a workbook,

1108
00:39:12,804 --> 00:39:14,940
but it's being it like, it's I'm the

1109
00:39:14,940 --> 00:39:16,699
timing is weird because of other things going

1110
00:39:16,699 --> 00:39:18,219
on that will make more sense in a

1111
00:39:18,219 --> 00:39:19,039
couple of weeks.

1112
00:39:19,579 --> 00:39:20,559
But I also

1113
00:39:21,260 --> 00:39:24,219
wanted to do with 0 drawing capabilities out.

1114
00:39:24,219 --> 00:39:25,199
I wanted to

1115
00:39:25,659 --> 00:39:28,239
do BDSM coloring books. Now I didn't want,

1116
00:39:28,684 --> 00:39:30,445
like, people tied up. There are people who

1117
00:39:30,445 --> 00:39:31,885
make those because they're artists and they can

1118
00:39:31,885 --> 00:39:32,784
draw. I cannot.

1119
00:39:33,164 --> 00:39:35,585
I wanted to do something fun. So

1120
00:39:35,885 --> 00:39:37,885
I put on our Etsy shop just today

1121
00:39:37,885 --> 00:39:39,025
our first coloring book.

1122
00:39:39,885 --> 00:39:41,324
And it is gonna be one of a

1123
00:39:41,324 --> 00:39:42,284
series because it's

1124
00:39:43,550 --> 00:39:45,469
so I would say yes, daddy, and daddy

1125
00:39:45,469 --> 00:39:47,070
would say good girl. I did a, like,

1126
00:39:47,070 --> 00:39:49,710
a series of yes, sir, yes, ma'am, yes,

1127
00:39:49,710 --> 00:39:52,190
whatever. And then good girl, good boy. And

1128
00:39:52,190 --> 00:39:55,090
and it's not it's not an exhaustive list.

1129
00:39:55,925 --> 00:39:57,764
So I'm gonna do several of them in

1130
00:39:57,764 --> 00:39:59,684
this style Mhmm. So that I can get

1131
00:39:59,684 --> 00:40:00,184
more,

1132
00:40:00,804 --> 00:40:03,445
honorifics and titles and labels in there to

1133
00:40:03,445 --> 00:40:04,824
be as inclusive as possible.

1134
00:40:05,764 --> 00:40:08,585
But, yeah, that's coloring books and,

1135
00:40:09,204 --> 00:40:11,289
digital digital coloring works, like PDFs. You can

1136
00:40:11,289 --> 00:40:13,849
download and print them out, and workbooks. That's

1137
00:40:13,849 --> 00:40:15,609
my goal for the Etsy shop. I wanna

1138
00:40:15,609 --> 00:40:17,469
do more physical products, but

1139
00:40:17,929 --> 00:40:19,769
I have to design those, and that just

1140
00:40:19,769 --> 00:40:20,750
gives me, like

1141
00:40:21,210 --> 00:40:23,449
it just oh god. It's I stop. I

1142
00:40:23,449 --> 00:40:26,065
get so much resistance and friction in myself

1143
00:40:26,065 --> 00:40:28,244
with that, so we're doing digital products.

1144
00:40:28,625 --> 00:40:29,125
Okay.

1145
00:40:29,744 --> 00:40:32,485
Next question that is not shameless self promotion.

1146
00:40:33,345 --> 00:40:34,805
Best way to explain

1147
00:40:35,744 --> 00:40:37,789
planning a scene to someone

1148
00:40:38,090 --> 00:40:40,410
new. Like, someone's new, and you're trying I

1149
00:40:40,410 --> 00:40:42,410
get I'm gathering you're trying to explain to

1150
00:40:42,410 --> 00:40:44,750
them, hey. We planned scenes, and here's

1151
00:40:45,130 --> 00:40:46,969
like, how do I how do I tell

1152
00:40:46,969 --> 00:40:49,050
somebody this is not organic fucking where we

1153
00:40:49,050 --> 00:40:50,684
just, like, fall into each other's

1154
00:40:51,085 --> 00:40:53,724
bits and pieces. We're gonna plan this shit

1155
00:40:53,724 --> 00:40:54,224
out.

1156
00:40:54,765 --> 00:40:57,005
How how do you explain planning a scene

1157
00:40:57,005 --> 00:40:58,065
to someone new?

1158
00:40:58,925 --> 00:40:59,425
Wow.

1159
00:41:01,244 --> 00:41:02,285
Wow. How how would

1160
00:41:04,349 --> 00:41:05,089
you slowly.

1161
00:41:09,630 --> 00:41:11,389
You know, yeah. You you would I think

1162
00:41:11,389 --> 00:41:12,449
you would have to

1163
00:41:12,829 --> 00:41:14,929
be prepared for a lot of questions.

1164
00:41:15,230 --> 00:41:16,589
I think you come with an example of

1165
00:41:16,589 --> 00:41:19,005
what a scene might look like. Mhmm. And

1166
00:41:19,324 --> 00:41:20,284
a base I think you start with the

1167
00:41:20,284 --> 00:41:21,724
base going on somebody super new and they

1168
00:41:21,724 --> 00:41:23,644
don't have a clue. And then you kind

1169
00:41:23,644 --> 00:41:25,484
of backtrack it and go, okay. Here's the

1170
00:41:25,484 --> 00:41:27,085
scene. Let me tell you how this gets

1171
00:41:27,085 --> 00:41:29,164
planned out. Right? Yeah. You know, we're gonna

1172
00:41:29,164 --> 00:41:30,704
talk about what we're both into.

1173
00:41:31,005 --> 00:41:33,565
We're going to get really detailed about, oh,

1174
00:41:33,565 --> 00:41:36,099
this is a sensation I wanna feel. How

1175
00:41:36,099 --> 00:41:37,239
intense of a sensation?

1176
00:41:37,619 --> 00:41:39,780
How light of a sensation? With, like, will

1177
00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:42,260
you spanking as the example? Just my hand?

1178
00:41:42,260 --> 00:41:44,739
Do you wanna try a toy? Okay. We

1179
00:41:44,739 --> 00:41:45,940
can try a toy. You've never tried a

1180
00:41:45,940 --> 00:41:47,780
toy before? Not a problem. Here's how we

1181
00:41:47,780 --> 00:41:49,664
will test that toy. I will hit it

1182
00:41:49,664 --> 00:41:50,945
lightly on your leg. I will hit it

1183
00:41:50,945 --> 00:41:52,465
on your forearm, and I will hit your

1184
00:41:52,465 --> 00:41:55,105
butt. Right? Mhmm. And we will you literally

1185
00:41:55,105 --> 00:41:57,125
break it down step by step, and then

1186
00:41:57,265 --> 00:41:59,345
you're gonna talk about how it's gonna stop

1187
00:41:59,345 --> 00:42:01,105
if they don't like how something feels. And

1188
00:42:01,105 --> 00:42:02,300
is that gonna be safe words, or are

1189
00:42:02,300 --> 00:42:04,139
we just gonna rely on the word no?

1190
00:42:04,139 --> 00:42:06,300
Yeah. You know? And I think you I

1191
00:42:06,300 --> 00:42:09,659
think you explain it like an alien has

1192
00:42:09,659 --> 00:42:11,980
arrived on the planet, does not know what

1193
00:42:11,980 --> 00:42:13,659
this is, and you're having to, like, paint

1194
00:42:13,659 --> 00:42:14,719
a picture for them.

1195
00:42:15,099 --> 00:42:16,880
I think that is gonna be

1196
00:42:17,795 --> 00:42:19,315
not there's probably not a one and done

1197
00:42:19,315 --> 00:42:21,075
conversation. No. I have a feeling that's multiple

1198
00:42:21,075 --> 00:42:22,454
conversations over time.

1199
00:42:23,474 --> 00:42:25,255
And I think that if

1200
00:42:25,635 --> 00:42:27,474
if it's something that they seem to grasp

1201
00:42:27,474 --> 00:42:28,914
pretty quickly and they can you can now

1202
00:42:28,914 --> 00:42:30,840
have a back and forth conversation where they're

1203
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:32,680
asking questions that make sense, and it seems

1204
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:34,300
like they're grasping it, you can move

1205
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,680
that foe quick forward a little bit more

1206
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,880
quickly. But if they're like, I this this

1207
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:40,380
is,

1208
00:42:41,079 --> 00:42:42,519
foreign to me, I cannot

1209
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,875
then you're gonna break it down to really

1210
00:42:44,875 --> 00:42:48,155
little bitty pieces, I think. Yep. Mhmm. Yeah.

1211
00:42:48,155 --> 00:42:48,974
Mhmm. Mhmm.

1212
00:42:52,394 --> 00:42:52,894
Mhmm.

1213
00:42:53,275 --> 00:42:55,114
So anything else you wanna say about that?

1214
00:42:55,114 --> 00:42:58,315
Okay. Another shameless promotion one, but, also, you

1215
00:42:58,315 --> 00:43:00,389
can answer this in ways I can't. Okay?

1216
00:43:00,549 --> 00:43:02,569
And not just our promotion one. Okay.

1217
00:43:03,190 --> 00:43:04,089
What BDSM

1218
00:43:04,389 --> 00:43:06,409
Discord server do you enjoy?

1219
00:43:06,789 --> 00:43:09,029
Also, do you have any recommendations to join?

1220
00:43:09,029 --> 00:43:10,949
I'll do the shameless self promotion. You do,

1221
00:43:10,949 --> 00:43:12,230
like, what you can talk about with what

1222
00:43:12,230 --> 00:43:14,389
you know. Okay. Shameless self promotion. We have

1223
00:43:14,389 --> 00:43:16,215
a Discord server. Mhmm. You have to be

1224
00:43:16,215 --> 00:43:17,275
a member of our Patreon,

1225
00:43:18,454 --> 00:43:19,815
and and be in that part of the

1226
00:43:19,815 --> 00:43:22,375
community to get access to it. You can

1227
00:43:22,375 --> 00:43:23,735
join for as little as $2 a month.

1228
00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:25,434
You get a whole bunch of extra content,

1229
00:43:26,295 --> 00:43:29,275
extra podcast episode, extra video, extra livestream.

1230
00:43:29,735 --> 00:43:32,075
Plus, if you go above the $2 minimum

1231
00:43:32,349 --> 00:43:34,369
in each tier, you get little perks.

1232
00:43:34,750 --> 00:43:35,250
So,

1233
00:43:35,869 --> 00:43:37,869
ta da, we have a server. It's literally

1234
00:43:37,869 --> 00:43:40,429
the loving BDSM Discord server, but it is

1235
00:43:40,429 --> 00:43:43,569
only accessible when you join our Patreon. Okay.

1236
00:43:43,710 --> 00:43:45,889
You are a member of other kinky

1237
00:43:46,194 --> 00:43:46,694
Card

1238
00:43:46,994 --> 00:43:48,594
supporters. Well, I Or you used to be.

1239
00:43:48,594 --> 00:43:50,194
I used to be. Okay. I used to

1240
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:50,514
be.

1241
00:43:51,155 --> 00:43:53,335
I I scaled way back.

1242
00:43:53,635 --> 00:43:54,454
Got overwhelming?

1243
00:43:54,914 --> 00:43:56,534
It it got to be too much,

1244
00:43:58,289 --> 00:44:00,309
you know, with with all the

1245
00:44:01,250 --> 00:44:02,230
plates I'm juggling.

1246
00:44:02,610 --> 00:44:04,530
Sure. I would you don't ever turn your

1247
00:44:04,530 --> 00:44:06,449
notifications off. I don't have a single one

1248
00:44:06,449 --> 00:44:08,469
on. And I would just watch the Discord

1249
00:44:08,769 --> 00:44:11,414
notifications just roll in on your iPad. Some

1250
00:44:11,414 --> 00:44:14,215
days, oh my god, I'm stressed. Now yeah.

1251
00:44:14,215 --> 00:44:15,655
That that was one of the one of

1252
00:44:15,655 --> 00:44:16,715
the things that,

1253
00:44:18,295 --> 00:44:20,155
you know, I I did end up doing.

1254
00:44:21,094 --> 00:44:22,934
1st, for any other server I was in,

1255
00:44:22,934 --> 00:44:23,994
I turned off notifications.

1256
00:44:24,614 --> 00:44:26,670
I just left it on for our server.

1257
00:44:28,909 --> 00:44:29,309
But,

1258
00:44:29,710 --> 00:44:31,889
but, yeah, it it's been a long time.

1259
00:44:31,949 --> 00:44:32,849
You were in.

1260
00:44:33,630 --> 00:44:35,230
Now the ones that you were in, did

1261
00:44:35,230 --> 00:44:36,429
you have to be vetted first? Did you

1262
00:44:36,429 --> 00:44:38,030
have to be invited? Or could you just

1263
00:44:38,030 --> 00:44:39,869
join these? Most of them were ones that

1264
00:44:39,869 --> 00:44:41,389
you had to be vetted for. And I

1265
00:44:41,389 --> 00:44:43,914
think that's a good practice Mhmm. Quite frankly.

1266
00:44:44,054 --> 00:44:44,554
Yeah.

1267
00:44:45,094 --> 00:44:46,715
And and, I mean, it was,

1268
00:44:49,655 --> 00:44:51,594
you know, point that you had to,

1269
00:44:52,695 --> 00:44:53,195
like,

1270
00:44:54,215 --> 00:44:56,639
a photo with your, driver's license. Oh, wow.

1271
00:44:56,639 --> 00:44:58,480
For some of them. Okay. Good for them.

1272
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,719
You know, blackout the address to him. They

1273
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:02,400
don't wanna see that, but they they wanted

1274
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,139
to see some sort of valid Like, you're

1275
00:45:05,199 --> 00:45:07,599
really a person, and you're a legal adult.

1276
00:45:07,599 --> 00:45:09,445
Yep. And and quite frankly,

1277
00:45:10,144 --> 00:45:11,744
those are the kinds I would look for.

1278
00:45:11,744 --> 00:45:14,625
It's it's a it's not gonna be perfect

1279
00:45:14,625 --> 00:45:16,784
where you're gonna love that server when you

1280
00:45:16,784 --> 00:45:19,184
get in there. But when, yeah, when there's

1281
00:45:19,184 --> 00:45:21,744
a a certain responsibility taken by the people

1282
00:45:21,744 --> 00:45:23,099
who are, you know, overseeing that

1283
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:24,219
server,

1284
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:26,300
that would make me feel

1285
00:45:27,079 --> 00:45:28,679
a lot better. Do you happen to remember

1286
00:45:28,679 --> 00:45:30,920
the names of any of them? I Or

1287
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,440
still have them in your Yeah.

1288
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,039
One of them was the,

1289
00:45:35,285 --> 00:45:37,605
the duchy, but that was through a, that

1290
00:45:37,684 --> 00:45:38,805
that's only through a,

1291
00:45:39,525 --> 00:45:41,565
Subscription. Subscription. You were subscribed to the Yes.

1292
00:45:41,684 --> 00:45:42,585
The duchy. Yeah.

1293
00:45:43,125 --> 00:45:44,885
Give me a second here. No. I can

1294
00:45:44,885 --> 00:45:46,265
give you at least one of them.

1295
00:45:47,285 --> 00:45:49,829
He's getting into his Discord. The, the rest

1296
00:45:50,070 --> 00:45:51,590
the rest of them, I pretty much,

1297
00:45:53,670 --> 00:45:54,550
got rid of.

1298
00:45:54,869 --> 00:45:55,369
BDSM

1299
00:45:55,910 --> 00:45:56,410
Loft.

1300
00:45:57,030 --> 00:46:00,410
Okay. BDSM Loft. L o f t. Mhmm.

1301
00:46:00,469 --> 00:46:00,969
Okay.

1302
00:46:01,269 --> 00:46:03,769
That that was that was a fantastic server.

1303
00:46:03,875 --> 00:46:04,375
Okay.

1304
00:46:05,394 --> 00:46:07,875
The person who runs it does a excellent

1305
00:46:07,875 --> 00:46:08,375
job.

1306
00:46:09,474 --> 00:46:10,694
They have moderators

1307
00:46:11,795 --> 00:46:13,155
on the server. They have a lot of

1308
00:46:13,155 --> 00:46:15,954
different activities Mhmm. That they do, which is

1309
00:46:15,954 --> 00:46:17,074
great. And,

1310
00:46:17,875 --> 00:46:19,494
you know, very very friendly

1311
00:46:19,869 --> 00:46:20,849
folks on there.

1312
00:46:21,309 --> 00:46:23,389
Yeah. I remember you talking about some of

1313
00:46:23,389 --> 00:46:24,369
the different activities.

1314
00:46:26,989 --> 00:46:27,969
I feel like,

1315
00:46:29,630 --> 00:46:30,989
sort of a very I'm not stand

1316
00:46:31,550 --> 00:46:33,389
I don't know how to describe myself as

1317
00:46:33,389 --> 00:46:35,724
the the person with the server.

1318
00:46:36,744 --> 00:46:39,244
I'm not good at small talk and chitchat,

1319
00:46:39,385 --> 00:46:41,625
so I don't really say much until I

1320
00:46:41,625 --> 00:46:43,945
got something to say, which is why I'm

1321
00:46:43,945 --> 00:46:45,785
usually in the rant room if I've got

1322
00:46:45,785 --> 00:46:46,869
something say.

1323
00:46:47,730 --> 00:46:49,989
But I'm always kinda there kinda looking around.

1324
00:46:51,090 --> 00:46:53,170
I often feel guilty that we do not

1325
00:46:53,170 --> 00:46:56,309
new do more Yeah. In the server.

1326
00:46:57,890 --> 00:46:58,630
But, also,

1327
00:46:59,010 --> 00:47:00,945
I don't know where I would pull that

1328
00:47:00,945 --> 00:47:03,585
time from. And so Mhmm. But it you

1329
00:47:03,585 --> 00:47:05,744
know, everybody else, thankfully, is holding their own

1330
00:47:05,744 --> 00:47:06,485
with the conversations.

1331
00:47:06,864 --> 00:47:07,105
So

1332
00:47:07,664 --> 00:47:07,825
And,

1333
00:47:09,105 --> 00:47:10,164
Kim brought up,

1334
00:47:11,505 --> 00:47:12,325
Pink Kink.

1335
00:47:13,250 --> 00:47:14,769
Oh, does Pink Kink have the

1336
00:47:15,170 --> 00:47:17,010
okay. I didn't know Robert had a a

1337
00:47:17,010 --> 00:47:18,949
Discord. Okay. Is that through their

1338
00:47:19,489 --> 00:47:21,730
is that through any membership thing in there?

1339
00:47:21,730 --> 00:47:23,489
That I do not know. I would go

1340
00:47:23,489 --> 00:47:24,849
to the Pink Kink. Mhmm. Is it the

1341
00:47:24,849 --> 00:47:26,994
pink is it pinkkinkdot com or pinkkinkpodcast.com?

1342
00:47:28,494 --> 00:47:30,735
Google Pink Kink Podcast. They have a website.

1343
00:47:30,735 --> 00:47:32,815
Yep. Go learn about their Discord. Mhmm. Highly

1344
00:47:32,815 --> 00:47:34,434
recommend anything Rah Rah does.

1345
00:47:34,894 --> 00:47:37,454
Okay. I want to answer this one question,

1346
00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:39,215
but it's another shameless promotion when I'm gonna

1347
00:47:39,215 --> 00:47:40,355
answer, like, some actual,

1348
00:47:41,030 --> 00:47:42,170
like Oh, okay.

1349
00:47:46,150 --> 00:47:47,909
Some of these are, like, complicated. We need,

1350
00:47:47,909 --> 00:47:49,829
like, video. We need, like, video time to

1351
00:47:49,829 --> 00:47:51,130
answer some of these. Okay.

1352
00:47:53,825 --> 00:47:55,204
Here's a common one.

1353
00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:57,905
How to be open about my kinks to

1354
00:47:57,905 --> 00:47:58,805
my significant

1355
00:47:59,425 --> 00:47:59,925
other.

1356
00:48:00,385 --> 00:48:01,605
Oh. Yep.

1357
00:48:02,065 --> 00:48:03,045
That's tough.

1358
00:48:04,865 --> 00:48:05,760
That is tough.

1359
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,500
Yeah. Because that can be a crapshoot sometimes.

1360
00:48:10,639 --> 00:48:12,260
I am a big fan of the hypotheticals.

1361
00:48:13,679 --> 00:48:14,579
Like, hypothetically,

1362
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,119
I I heard about this thing and then

1363
00:48:17,119 --> 00:48:18,905
insert one of your own kinks. What do

1364
00:48:18,905 --> 00:48:21,005
you think about this? Think about this? Yeah.

1365
00:48:21,065 --> 00:48:22,045
And if they

1366
00:48:22,505 --> 00:48:23,405
they don't necessarily

1367
00:48:23,784 --> 00:48:24,844
have to be, like,

1368
00:48:25,304 --> 00:48:26,764
full throated acceptance,

1369
00:48:27,065 --> 00:48:27,565
enthusiasm,

1370
00:48:28,184 --> 00:48:30,425
open arms. Right? They don't have to be

1371
00:48:30,425 --> 00:48:31,164
that way.

1372
00:48:31,625 --> 00:48:34,230
As long as the the response to a

1373
00:48:34,230 --> 00:48:37,909
hypothetical is not pure judge judgment and disgust

1374
00:48:38,070 --> 00:48:40,630
Or oh, no. No. Not that way. Imagine

1375
00:48:40,630 --> 00:48:43,269
anything about kink. Right? Like that as long

1376
00:48:43,269 --> 00:48:46,170
as it's not that, you probably have

1377
00:48:47,364 --> 00:48:49,765
an inroad to actually just have the conversation.

1378
00:48:49,765 --> 00:48:50,505
You know, if it's,

1379
00:48:50,805 --> 00:48:52,485
yeah. You know, I've I've heard of it,

1380
00:48:52,485 --> 00:48:54,505
but I don't know anything about it. Right.

1381
00:48:54,724 --> 00:48:57,204
It it's okay if it's indifference. It's okay

1382
00:48:57,204 --> 00:48:58,965
if it's pure ignorance or, like, I don't

1383
00:48:58,965 --> 00:49:00,269
know anything about that.

1384
00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:03,150
That you can work with that. What you

1385
00:49:03,150 --> 00:49:05,329
can't work with is disgust,

1386
00:49:05,630 --> 00:49:06,130
disdain

1387
00:49:06,510 --> 00:49:07,570
Mhmm. Judgments

1388
00:49:07,869 --> 00:49:10,110
Yeah. Like, that kind of stuff. Because that's

1389
00:49:10,110 --> 00:49:11,380
the thing you're looking for with a hyphenic.

1390
00:49:11,630 --> 00:49:15,105
What helps too when you have those conversations

1391
00:49:16,684 --> 00:49:18,764
is not to say, hey, you know, I

1392
00:49:18,764 --> 00:49:20,684
found this thing and I I it's really

1393
00:49:20,684 --> 00:49:22,204
cool and I wanna try this. What do

1394
00:49:22,204 --> 00:49:24,444
you you know? Mhmm. I I that to

1395
00:49:24,444 --> 00:49:26,065
me is kind of a a

1396
00:49:26,639 --> 00:49:28,319
the wrong way to go about it because

1397
00:49:28,319 --> 00:49:29,619
that puts then pressure

1398
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,159
on the other person. To me, the only

1399
00:49:32,159 --> 00:49:33,359
time you really have the space for that

1400
00:49:33,359 --> 00:49:35,119
is if you know where they stand on

1401
00:49:35,359 --> 00:49:37,199
True. Things. Y'all are already on the same

1402
00:49:37,199 --> 00:49:38,880
page about stuff. I mean, yeah. I would

1403
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:40,400
do I would do that with you. Sure.

1404
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:41,445
You know? Because we

1405
00:49:42,005 --> 00:49:44,005
I'm you know, I might tell you I

1406
00:49:44,005 --> 00:49:45,925
am not interested in that, but I'm not

1407
00:49:45,925 --> 00:49:47,445
gonna judge you for it. I'm not we're

1408
00:49:47,445 --> 00:49:49,364
not gonna break up over, like No. No.

1409
00:49:49,364 --> 00:49:51,445
No. Yeah. So, you know, and and I

1410
00:49:51,445 --> 00:49:53,445
think that's where it comes in, you know,

1411
00:49:53,445 --> 00:49:54,744
how you do the presentation

1412
00:49:55,605 --> 00:49:56,105
of,

1413
00:49:57,099 --> 00:49:59,260
hey. You know, I I came across this

1414
00:49:59,260 --> 00:50:00,480
thing. Mhmm.

1415
00:50:01,179 --> 00:50:02,859
And have you ever heard of this? And,

1416
00:50:02,859 --> 00:50:05,339
you know, it it sounds interesting, but, you

1417
00:50:05,339 --> 00:50:07,579
know Right. Silent makes a point in the

1418
00:50:07,579 --> 00:50:09,019
in the live chat, you know, that,

1419
00:50:09,659 --> 00:50:11,778
talking about x. X used to be in

1420
00:50:11,778 --> 00:50:14,186
the no no yucky camp too. Here's the

1421
00:50:14,186 --> 00:50:16,595
thing. There's a difference between a, oh, I

1422
00:50:16,595 --> 00:50:19,003
don't like that versus a, oh, why would

1423
00:50:19,003 --> 00:50:22,014
anybody that's an I think it's a vibe

1424
00:50:22,014 --> 00:50:24,480
check. Right? And quite frankly, if the vibe

1425
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,239
you're getting from a partner you really care

1426
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:27,699
about and love is

1427
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,159
not uh-uh. No. Gross. It might just mean

1428
00:50:30,159 --> 00:50:32,320
it's not the time now. Right. Or that's

1429
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,179
not the kink to start with. Right?

1430
00:50:34,559 --> 00:50:35,534
Y'all, JB

1431
00:50:36,014 --> 00:50:38,815
has been in kink for literal fucking decades.

1432
00:50:38,815 --> 00:50:41,054
And the first time I mentioned, do do

1433
00:50:41,054 --> 00:50:43,135
I think did I think did he think

1434
00:50:43,135 --> 00:50:44,815
he could be a daddy dong? I thought

1435
00:50:44,815 --> 00:50:46,094
he could be a daddy dong. What do

1436
00:50:46,094 --> 00:50:48,094
you think about it? He laughed his fucking

1437
00:50:48,094 --> 00:50:50,219
ass off. Like, I had just said, well,

1438
00:50:50,219 --> 00:50:51,820
I what I'd like you to actually do

1439
00:50:51,820 --> 00:50:53,820
is go walk on the moon tonight. He

1440
00:50:53,820 --> 00:50:55,920
was like like, pure, like,

1441
00:50:56,300 --> 00:50:57,980
what the fuck are you even talking about?

1442
00:50:57,980 --> 00:50:59,739
He I mean, he's a mature soul, so

1443
00:50:59,739 --> 00:51:02,059
he wasn't judgy about it, but he thought

1444
00:51:02,059 --> 00:51:04,295
it was, like, it was impossible. Impossible. But

1445
00:51:04,375 --> 00:51:04,775
so him laughing like that, I was like,

1446
00:51:04,775 --> 00:51:06,500
okay. We will not go down this road

1447
00:51:06,500 --> 00:51:06,961
together right now. He that's not where his

1448
00:51:06,961 --> 00:51:07,515
head is at.

1449
00:51:08,375 --> 00:51:08,875
Right?

1450
00:51:18,159 --> 00:51:20,000
But because everything else was still good, I

1451
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,599
didn't think, oh, no. I can never talk

1452
00:51:21,599 --> 00:51:22,820
to him about this again.

1453
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:25,460
And then here he is now,

1454
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:27,219
total daddy dom.

1455
00:51:28,159 --> 00:51:30,320
There is a vibe check to it. Right?

1456
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:31,139
Like, if

1457
00:51:32,405 --> 00:51:34,244
if you're here's the thing. If you're trying

1458
00:51:34,244 --> 00:51:36,405
to tell a partner about kinks and you

1459
00:51:36,405 --> 00:51:37,385
start with a hypothetical

1460
00:51:38,005 --> 00:51:38,505
and

1461
00:51:38,964 --> 00:51:42,025
they their reaction makes you feel

1462
00:51:42,405 --> 00:51:44,405
like you can't really talk to them about

1463
00:51:44,405 --> 00:51:47,559
it now ever or just not yet, then

1464
00:51:47,559 --> 00:51:50,440
that's information. You just maybe don't talk to

1465
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:51,659
them about it yet.

1466
00:51:52,679 --> 00:51:55,159
I think depending on the type, how long

1467
00:51:55,159 --> 00:51:57,900
you've been together, the nature of your relationship,

1468
00:51:58,199 --> 00:52:00,434
how strong it is without any kink, like,

1469
00:52:00,434 --> 00:52:02,534
you you feel really confident in this relationship.

1470
00:52:02,755 --> 00:52:04,514
I think you can bring kink up in

1471
00:52:04,514 --> 00:52:06,674
a different way later, a few weeks, few

1472
00:52:06,674 --> 00:52:07,894
months, whatever whatever.

1473
00:52:08,275 --> 00:52:09,875
There because there are other all kinds of

1474
00:52:09,875 --> 00:52:11,574
ways to approach a conversation.

1475
00:52:12,500 --> 00:52:14,760
But if you want to test the temperature

1476
00:52:14,819 --> 00:52:17,539
of can I tell my partner I'm fucking

1477
00:52:17,539 --> 00:52:18,039
kinky,

1478
00:52:19,139 --> 00:52:20,359
their their immediate

1479
00:52:20,659 --> 00:52:22,980
reaction to a hypothetical is a lot of

1480
00:52:22,980 --> 00:52:24,994
information? Right. Yep.

1481
00:52:25,454 --> 00:52:26,894
Doesn't mean you have to break up. It

1482
00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:28,974
just might mean, okay, that we're not talking

1483
00:52:28,974 --> 00:52:30,835
about that right now. Yep.

1484
00:52:31,295 --> 00:52:33,474
And and you and you never know. Sometimes

1485
00:52:33,614 --> 00:52:36,255
too, you know, bringing that up, even if

1486
00:52:36,255 --> 00:52:36,755
it's,

1487
00:52:37,910 --> 00:52:38,489
you know,

1488
00:52:39,829 --> 00:52:42,070
turned away at that point Mhmm. You still

1489
00:52:42,070 --> 00:52:44,550
may have planted a seed. Yep. Yep. You

1490
00:52:44,550 --> 00:52:46,630
still may have planted a seed. I

1491
00:52:47,829 --> 00:52:50,230
if if you mentioning kinks does not to

1492
00:52:50,230 --> 00:52:52,070
a partner, does not immediately have them go,

1493
00:52:52,070 --> 00:52:53,684
oh my god. Yeah. I've been I've been

1494
00:52:53,684 --> 00:52:54,805
meaning to talk to you. Can I can

1495
00:52:54,805 --> 00:52:55,925
I share my own kink with you? Right?

1496
00:52:55,925 --> 00:52:58,585
Mhmm. If it doesn't immediately result in that,

1497
00:52:59,125 --> 00:53:01,445
it doesn't mean it's never gonna happen. It

1498
00:53:01,445 --> 00:53:03,925
just means it might be a very slow

1499
00:53:03,925 --> 00:53:06,359
moving ship. Right? Yeah. And then patience is

1500
00:53:06,359 --> 00:53:07,639
called for it, and we all know how

1501
00:53:07,639 --> 00:53:09,179
I feel about that word.

1502
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:11,799
But it really does fucking work most of

1503
00:53:11,799 --> 00:53:13,960
the time, which is really annoying because I

1504
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:15,500
really hate having to be patient.

1505
00:53:16,119 --> 00:53:18,279
So, yeah, you might plant the seed. You

1506
00:53:18,279 --> 00:53:21,364
might see organic opportunities later where you can

1507
00:53:21,364 --> 00:53:23,784
maybe bring up the kink. Now the question

1508
00:53:23,925 --> 00:53:24,985
you have to

1509
00:53:25,445 --> 00:53:26,885
decide for yourself, and you don't have to

1510
00:53:26,885 --> 00:53:28,485
decide right away, but you need to be

1511
00:53:28,485 --> 00:53:29,704
thinking about is,

1512
00:53:30,644 --> 00:53:32,744
is this desire for kink

1513
00:53:34,230 --> 00:53:37,030
important enough for me to find a partner

1514
00:53:37,030 --> 00:53:39,349
who wants to do this with me? Right?

1515
00:53:39,349 --> 00:53:41,429
And everybody's everybody's a little different about it.

1516
00:53:41,429 --> 00:53:42,710
I'm at a point now first of all,

1517
00:53:42,710 --> 00:53:45,269
JB's not going no damn where. Okay? He's

1518
00:53:45,269 --> 00:53:45,769
stuck.

1519
00:53:46,125 --> 00:53:48,364
Sorry. Sucks to be you. You're here with

1520
00:53:48,364 --> 00:53:50,545
it with me till the bitter fucking end.

1521
00:53:50,925 --> 00:53:51,905
Thelma and Louise.

1522
00:53:52,684 --> 00:53:54,625
But if I had to, like, go find,

1523
00:53:55,085 --> 00:53:55,905
like, my

1524
00:53:57,565 --> 00:53:58,385
my husband

1525
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:01,360
again, they're gonna have to be kinky. It's

1526
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:01,860
nonnegotiable.

1527
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:02,820
Right?

1528
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,679
I'm I am non monogamous in theory, not

1529
00:54:05,679 --> 00:54:07,760
in practice, but I need that person to

1530
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,079
be kinky. I I don't know what flavor

1531
00:54:10,079 --> 00:54:11,440
of kink they need to be, but they

1532
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:13,335
better be kinky. Right? Same thing. Right? Like

1533
00:54:13,335 --> 00:54:15,734
that's, I know that that is not gonna

1534
00:54:15,734 --> 00:54:17,655
work for me. Because I'm, you're either gonna

1535
00:54:17,655 --> 00:54:19,815
come into this kinky or I am going

1536
00:54:19,815 --> 00:54:22,215
to turn you. There will be kink. It

1537
00:54:22,215 --> 00:54:23,034
will just happen.

1538
00:54:23,494 --> 00:54:26,315
Other people are like, with a right partner,

1539
00:54:26,375 --> 00:54:26,875
yeah,

1540
00:54:27,175 --> 00:54:28,875
I want that, but I can

1541
00:54:29,269 --> 00:54:31,510
not do kink and be really happy with

1542
00:54:31,510 --> 00:54:32,250
this partner.

1543
00:54:33,670 --> 00:54:35,989
So that's the thing to decide, not just

1544
00:54:35,989 --> 00:54:37,989
how you think they might react, but is

1545
00:54:37,989 --> 00:54:40,150
this person somebody you wanna be with even

1546
00:54:40,150 --> 00:54:41,929
if you can never do kink with them?

1547
00:54:42,525 --> 00:54:44,684
And there's no right answer. No. There's no

1548
00:54:44,684 --> 00:54:45,824
right answer at all.

1549
00:54:46,284 --> 00:54:46,784
Mm-mm.

1550
00:54:47,405 --> 00:54:49,984
Okay. Let's see. Excuse me.

1551
00:54:53,085 --> 00:54:54,784
I feel like there's

1552
00:54:55,565 --> 00:54:57,539
there's no good answer to this one, but

1553
00:54:57,780 --> 00:54:59,460
we're gonna do this one and then the

1554
00:54:59,460 --> 00:55:01,539
last little, like it's not promotional, but like

1555
00:55:01,539 --> 00:55:04,019
a us question, and we're gonna be done.

1556
00:55:04,019 --> 00:55:04,519
Okay.

1557
00:55:04,820 --> 00:55:07,140
How can you tell when a man is

1558
00:55:07,140 --> 00:55:10,005
genuinely a real daddy dom and not just

1559
00:55:10,005 --> 00:55:10,664
a poser.

1560
00:55:11,364 --> 00:55:13,764
Ain't that the fucking question of all kink?

1561
00:55:13,764 --> 00:55:15,704
How can you tell if that's a real

1562
00:55:15,924 --> 00:55:17,444
what they say they are or not, just

1563
00:55:17,444 --> 00:55:18,585
a poser? You know,

1564
00:55:19,764 --> 00:55:22,760
that and that is something that, you know,

1565
00:55:23,140 --> 00:55:24,360
time will tell.

1566
00:55:24,820 --> 00:55:25,719
Sure. Okay.

1567
00:55:26,579 --> 00:55:28,519
You know, you you have to look,

1568
00:55:29,940 --> 00:55:31,159
for certain traits,

1569
00:55:31,699 --> 00:55:33,559
you know. Are they nurturing?

1570
00:55:34,695 --> 00:55:36,695
Do they follow through with the things that

1571
00:55:36,695 --> 00:55:39,355
they they say they're going to do? Mhmm.

1572
00:55:39,494 --> 00:55:41,494
You know? Do they actually seem to care

1573
00:55:41,494 --> 00:55:43,575
about you on some level? Right. It doesn't

1574
00:55:43,575 --> 00:55:44,614
have to be a I'm in love with

1575
00:55:44,614 --> 00:55:46,215
you, I'm gonna be with you forever care.

1576
00:55:46,215 --> 00:55:47,494
But do they care about you as a

1577
00:55:47,494 --> 00:55:49,469
human being? And that's a good point. You

1578
00:55:49,469 --> 00:55:49,949
know,

1579
00:55:50,829 --> 00:55:51,730
a a good

1580
00:55:52,590 --> 00:55:55,250
daddy dom or caregiver needs to have empathy.

1581
00:55:55,630 --> 00:55:58,510
Oh, yeah. Okay? Oh, yeah. You know, and

1582
00:55:58,510 --> 00:55:59,570
and and these

1583
00:55:59,869 --> 00:56:01,710
are things that you are going to see

1584
00:56:01,710 --> 00:56:03,309
in a person as you spend more time

1585
00:56:03,309 --> 00:56:06,155
with them. Right. Because they can say anything.

1586
00:56:06,215 --> 00:56:08,695
Mhmm. It's not who cares? It's about what

1587
00:56:08,695 --> 00:56:10,695
they do, and it's not about what they

1588
00:56:10,695 --> 00:56:13,195
do one time. It's about what they Consistency.

1589
00:56:13,414 --> 00:56:13,914
Yeah.

1590
00:56:14,775 --> 00:56:15,835
Because a poser

1591
00:56:16,454 --> 00:56:17,275
can pretend

1592
00:56:17,735 --> 00:56:18,555
one time.

1593
00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:21,829
But they can't usually keep it up over

1594
00:56:21,829 --> 00:56:22,809
the long term.

1595
00:56:23,430 --> 00:56:25,210
That's what she said. Yeah.

1596
00:56:25,990 --> 00:56:26,490
So

1597
00:56:26,869 --> 00:56:28,550
you you have and you it's a stage

1598
00:56:28,550 --> 00:56:30,885
thing. You start with what they say. Right?

1599
00:56:30,965 --> 00:56:33,125
And unless if you're getting a feeling like

1600
00:56:33,125 --> 00:56:35,684
something doesn't feel right, please, please, please, I'm

1601
00:56:35,684 --> 00:56:37,364
desperate for everybody to listen to that this

1602
00:56:37,364 --> 00:56:39,525
doesn't feel right voice. Sometimes you'll be wrong,

1603
00:56:39,525 --> 00:56:40,965
but most of the time you won't. It's

1604
00:56:40,965 --> 00:56:41,465
okay.

1605
00:56:41,844 --> 00:56:43,605
So you listen to what they say. Does

1606
00:56:43,605 --> 00:56:46,089
it does it align with how the kind

1607
00:56:46,089 --> 00:56:48,010
of, in this case, daddy dom that person

1608
00:56:48,010 --> 00:56:49,769
wants or the kind of partner you're looking

1609
00:56:49,769 --> 00:56:50,269
for?

1610
00:56:51,609 --> 00:56:54,730
Whatever your philosophy about kink and BDSM is.

1611
00:56:54,730 --> 00:56:56,250
And when I mean philosophy, I sort of

1612
00:56:56,250 --> 00:56:57,974
mean them. How do you wanna move

1613
00:56:58,695 --> 00:57:00,055
through kink is I'm gonna tell you, I

1614
00:57:00,055 --> 00:57:03,095
believe communication needs to be is the most

1615
00:57:03,095 --> 00:57:04,474
important thing. Right?

1616
00:57:05,414 --> 00:57:08,155
And but I'm also gonna add, like, nuances

1617
00:57:08,295 --> 00:57:08,795
like

1618
00:57:09,255 --> 00:57:10,235
being vulnerable.

1619
00:57:10,535 --> 00:57:13,059
And and for for somebody trying to show

1620
00:57:13,059 --> 00:57:15,460
that they're actually a decent dumb, being able

1621
00:57:15,460 --> 00:57:18,119
to admit wrongdoing and being able to apologize

1622
00:57:18,260 --> 00:57:20,739
and, you know, being able to be told

1623
00:57:20,739 --> 00:57:23,699
that they're wrong. Like, you're gonna they're gonna

1624
00:57:23,699 --> 00:57:25,859
say things, and you start there. And if

1625
00:57:25,859 --> 00:57:27,525
the vibes are good with what they

1626
00:57:28,085 --> 00:57:28,744
say, then

1627
00:57:29,125 --> 00:57:31,224
you start paying attention to what they do.

1628
00:57:31,605 --> 00:57:33,844
And again, anybody can do the right thing

1629
00:57:33,844 --> 00:57:37,125
one fucking time. Mhmm. That's an overtime thing.

1630
00:57:37,125 --> 00:57:39,545
But it's it's the long the long term.

1631
00:57:39,605 --> 00:57:40,505
And sometimes,

1632
00:57:41,125 --> 00:57:43,630
not always, sometimes our intuition will scream at

1633
00:57:43,630 --> 00:57:45,469
us when they do the thing because we're

1634
00:57:45,469 --> 00:57:48,110
like, something about that ain't right. So, nope.

1635
00:57:48,110 --> 00:57:49,949
I'm not vibing with that. And sometimes it's

1636
00:57:49,949 --> 00:57:52,269
a personal preference thing, and sometimes it's your

1637
00:57:52,269 --> 00:57:54,269
instinct screaming at you that this is not

1638
00:57:54,269 --> 00:57:56,510
real and this person is faking. Doesn't matter.

1639
00:57:56,510 --> 00:57:58,644
You can have a conversation about it. You

1640
00:57:58,644 --> 00:58:00,244
can go, it was nice to meet you.

1641
00:58:00,244 --> 00:58:01,844
I'm gonna go have my own life over

1642
00:58:01,844 --> 00:58:03,304
here. Like, whatever you wanna do.

1643
00:58:04,324 --> 00:58:07,284
And it's a stage thing. It's why we

1644
00:58:07,284 --> 00:58:07,784
caution

1645
00:58:08,565 --> 00:58:11,750
every fucking body to start really fucking slow.

1646
00:58:12,690 --> 00:58:14,769
I get that it's super exciting to find

1647
00:58:14,769 --> 00:58:16,130
a dom who says all the right things

1648
00:58:16,130 --> 00:58:17,730
and is, like, hitting you right in your

1649
00:58:17,730 --> 00:58:18,869
little subby feels,

1650
00:58:19,809 --> 00:58:22,724
but it can be extremely dangerous to then

1651
00:58:22,724 --> 00:58:24,805
just jump into a full on scene or

1652
00:58:24,805 --> 00:58:26,905
jump into a full on power exchange negotiation

1653
00:58:27,285 --> 00:58:28,825
when you've known this person

1654
00:58:29,445 --> 00:58:32,325
either actually 5 minutes or the equivalent of

1655
00:58:32,325 --> 00:58:34,184
5 minutes. Right? Two conversations

1656
00:58:34,805 --> 00:58:37,780
don't make a power exchange. Okay? No. It

1657
00:58:37,780 --> 00:58:38,019
just

1658
00:58:38,739 --> 00:58:41,000
so that's a little bit of it. Like,

1659
00:58:41,059 --> 00:58:43,559
if you are willing I'm sorry. That's okay.

1660
00:58:43,940 --> 00:58:45,219
The other thing I was gonna say, you

1661
00:58:45,219 --> 00:58:47,059
know, if if this person is a part

1662
00:58:47,059 --> 00:58:47,800
of the community,

1663
00:58:48,179 --> 00:58:50,355
you know, what what do other people in

1664
00:58:50,355 --> 00:58:51,735
the community think about them?

1665
00:58:52,035 --> 00:58:53,795
And we've talked about this with vetting before.

1666
00:58:53,795 --> 00:58:55,875
If they if they are because some people

1667
00:58:55,875 --> 00:58:58,035
will proclaim themselves parts of communities. Right? They'll

1668
00:58:58,035 --> 00:58:59,474
go, I go to this much. I'm in

1669
00:58:59,474 --> 00:59:01,015
this group. I'm in here. Okay.

1670
00:59:02,035 --> 00:59:04,800
Make a list. What group? What munch? Where

1671
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:06,960
do you go? Okay. Now does that have

1672
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,099
a presence on FetLife?

1673
00:59:09,039 --> 00:59:11,760
If that group, organization, community munch has a

1674
00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:14,559
then you are going to DM whoever is,

1675
00:59:14,559 --> 00:59:16,239
like, the host of that group on FetLife

1676
00:59:16,239 --> 00:59:18,085
and go, do you know this person? Is

1677
00:59:18,085 --> 00:59:19,364
there anything you can tell me about him?

1678
00:59:19,364 --> 00:59:20,105
That is

1679
00:59:20,405 --> 00:59:23,204
it's it's not as common today in the

1680
00:59:23,204 --> 00:59:25,144
21st century as it was

1681
00:59:25,525 --> 00:59:26,585
in the 1900,

1682
00:59:26,965 --> 00:59:27,945
y'all. But

1683
00:59:28,244 --> 00:59:29,785
goddamn, I hate saying that.

1684
00:59:30,724 --> 00:59:31,408
But vetting is absolutely still a part of

1685
00:59:31,408 --> 00:59:32,590
the BDSM experience, and there are plenty plenty

1686
00:59:34,969 --> 00:59:35,112
of community organizers who are not gonna bat

1687
00:59:35,112 --> 00:59:35,254
an eye to get that DM or to

1688
00:59:35,254 --> 00:59:36,730
have somebody come up to them in a

1689
00:59:36,730 --> 00:59:38,889
month and go, this person says that they

1690
00:59:44,945 --> 00:59:46,304
that, you know, they're part of this community.

1691
00:59:46,304 --> 00:59:47,905
Do you know them? What can can you

1692
00:59:47,905 --> 00:59:49,425
tell me anything about them? Because what you'll

1693
00:59:49,425 --> 00:59:50,864
find out is, did you just catch them

1694
00:59:50,864 --> 00:59:52,784
in a lie? And that they're not known

1695
00:59:52,784 --> 00:59:53,525
by anybody?

1696
00:59:53,985 --> 00:59:54,485
Or

1697
00:59:55,105 --> 00:59:56,085
did you

1698
00:59:56,864 --> 00:59:58,545
are they known, but they are, like, on

1699
00:59:58,545 --> 01:00:01,460
the watch list? Yes. That exists in communities

1700
01:00:01,460 --> 01:00:03,059
where sometimes people are allowed to go to

1701
01:00:03,059 --> 01:00:04,819
a event so people can watch them and

1702
01:00:04,819 --> 01:00:06,599
make sure they're not doing dangerous shit.

1703
01:00:06,980 --> 01:00:08,659
Yeah. And there's a whole conversation to be

1704
01:00:08,659 --> 01:00:10,099
had about whether that's the right thing. Yeah.

1705
01:00:10,099 --> 01:00:11,699
And then sometimes you find out, and this

1706
01:00:11,699 --> 01:00:14,074
was true with JB, that they are exactly

1707
01:00:14,074 --> 01:00:15,514
who they say they are, and they have

1708
01:00:15,835 --> 01:00:17,914
people have great respect for them. Now that

1709
01:00:17,914 --> 01:00:20,714
is not always Yeah. A 100%. People can

1710
01:00:20,714 --> 01:00:22,554
have great respect for somebody who is acting

1711
01:00:22,554 --> 01:00:25,034
shitty, but Yeah. And there there are there

1712
01:00:25,034 --> 01:00:27,230
are more and more communities. I know there

1713
01:00:27,230 --> 01:00:28,609
are there are several communities

1714
01:00:30,030 --> 01:00:31,730
near us and and also

1715
01:00:32,190 --> 01:00:34,130
other parts of the state where,

1716
01:00:34,750 --> 01:00:35,889
you know, to keep

1717
01:00:38,109 --> 01:00:40,670
the members safe, they actually do background checks.

1718
01:00:40,670 --> 01:00:41,025
Sure.

1719
01:00:41,664 --> 01:00:43,664
We're trying to be a vendor at a

1720
01:00:43,664 --> 01:00:44,164
thing

1721
01:00:44,864 --> 01:00:47,505
later in September, and we are going through

1722
01:00:47,505 --> 01:00:48,625
a background check, which I don't have a

1723
01:00:48,625 --> 01:00:50,944
problem with. But I was like, oh, okay.

1724
01:00:50,944 --> 01:00:52,944
Yeah. Okay. Because not every community does that.

1725
01:00:52,944 --> 01:00:54,980
Right. Also fine, but it's like But but

1726
01:00:54,980 --> 01:00:57,059
there are more and more doing that now

1727
01:00:57,219 --> 01:00:57,719
Mhmm.

1728
01:00:58,019 --> 01:00:59,460
To to keep people safe. And, again, a

1729
01:00:59,460 --> 01:01:01,380
background check only tells you so much. Right.

1730
01:01:01,380 --> 01:01:03,219
But you wanna know what I take as

1731
01:01:03,219 --> 01:01:03,619
in,

1732
01:01:04,019 --> 01:01:05,159
information to,

1733
01:01:06,019 --> 01:01:08,019
pay attention to? How do they respond to

1734
01:01:08,019 --> 01:01:09,300
the fact that they need to do a

1735
01:01:09,300 --> 01:01:09,764
background

1736
01:01:10,964 --> 01:01:12,505
check? Mhmm. Yep. And and

1737
01:01:12,885 --> 01:01:14,724
and are they willing to tell you why

1738
01:01:14,724 --> 01:01:16,484
maybe they don't really want a background check?

1739
01:01:16,484 --> 01:01:18,324
Now sometimes people have shit in their background

1740
01:01:18,324 --> 01:01:20,184
that they just don't wanna talk about.

1741
01:01:20,885 --> 01:01:23,125
To a certain extent, that's fine. I'm not

1742
01:01:23,125 --> 01:01:24,610
gonna tell somebody that you gotta tell me

1743
01:01:24,610 --> 01:01:26,210
all your damn secrets on the 1st day.

1744
01:01:26,210 --> 01:01:28,050
But if I'm a submissive and you're a

1745
01:01:28,050 --> 01:01:30,610
dom and you don't want the dungeon where

1746
01:01:30,610 --> 01:01:31,670
we can go play

1747
01:01:31,969 --> 01:01:33,190
in as as

1748
01:01:33,570 --> 01:01:34,070
safe

1749
01:01:34,769 --> 01:01:37,489
away as possible, which air quote all of

1750
01:01:37,489 --> 01:01:39,954
that, and you won't even do that, well,

1751
01:01:39,954 --> 01:01:42,755
that tells me as an individual submissive I

1752
01:01:42,755 --> 01:01:44,675
can't be playing with you. And and, you

1753
01:01:44,675 --> 01:01:47,014
know, that that is another good

1754
01:01:47,474 --> 01:01:49,554
point to bring up too that I wanna

1755
01:01:49,554 --> 01:01:52,380
mention real quick. You know, you you meet

1756
01:01:52,380 --> 01:01:54,460
somebody a lot of times in in this

1757
01:01:54,460 --> 01:01:56,320
day and age, you meet online, and,

1758
01:01:58,059 --> 01:02:00,239
you know, one of the first things, hey,

1759
01:02:00,699 --> 01:02:02,219
especially when you get to the point you

1760
01:02:02,219 --> 01:02:04,300
you want to meet, well, you know, there's

1761
01:02:04,300 --> 01:02:06,135
a there's the munch happening

1762
01:02:06,675 --> 01:02:08,035
at such and such a day at such

1763
01:02:08,035 --> 01:02:10,195
and such a time. Let's meet there. You

1764
01:02:10,195 --> 01:02:11,735
know, if they kinda balk about

1765
01:02:12,835 --> 01:02:14,295
Thank you. Meeting at a munch,

1766
01:02:15,315 --> 01:02:16,914
that that that's kind of a flag. And

1767
01:02:16,914 --> 01:02:19,309
here's here's the thing, because somebody's gonna go,

1768
01:02:19,309 --> 01:02:20,590
but you don't know. Somebody might have a

1769
01:02:20,590 --> 01:02:22,829
reason they don't wanna okay. Okay. Okay. That's

1770
01:02:22,829 --> 01:02:24,590
fine. You can have your individual reason why

1771
01:02:24,590 --> 01:02:26,269
you don't wanna do something. But if my

1772
01:02:26,269 --> 01:02:28,190
intuition is screaming at me and I have

1773
01:02:28,190 --> 01:02:30,349
decided that a precursor to being able to

1774
01:02:30,349 --> 01:02:31,869
be with somebody to decide if they are

1775
01:02:31,869 --> 01:02:34,134
a real legit person, I wanna get kinky

1776
01:02:34,134 --> 01:02:35,654
with this. These are the things I need

1777
01:02:35,654 --> 01:02:37,014
from you, and you're not willing to do

1778
01:02:37,014 --> 01:02:39,014
it. That is information for me to make

1779
01:02:39,014 --> 01:02:39,674
a decision.

1780
01:02:40,134 --> 01:02:43,255
So if it sounds like trying to figure

1781
01:02:43,255 --> 01:02:45,174
out if somebody is a poser is hard

1782
01:02:45,174 --> 01:02:47,755
work, you're right. It is.

1783
01:02:48,454 --> 01:02:48,659
It

1784
01:02:49,460 --> 01:02:51,139
is. And the people I find who are

1785
01:02:51,139 --> 01:02:51,639
willing,

1786
01:02:52,099 --> 01:02:53,780
not this is not universally true, but the

1787
01:02:53,780 --> 01:02:55,059
people I find who are most willing to

1788
01:02:55,059 --> 01:02:56,579
do it tend to be the ones who

1789
01:02:56,579 --> 01:02:58,280
have had to, like, deal with a poser.

1790
01:02:58,500 --> 01:03:00,980
When may from a submissive side, they were

1791
01:03:00,980 --> 01:03:01,960
in sub frenzy.

1792
01:03:02,339 --> 01:03:04,414
Some douche said, like, 3 of the right

1793
01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:05,394
words to them,

1794
01:03:05,934 --> 01:03:07,454
and they kinda jumped in with both feet

1795
01:03:07,454 --> 01:03:09,635
and didn't really think about it. Those folks,

1796
01:03:10,815 --> 01:03:13,215
they are they are taking their time next

1797
01:03:13,215 --> 01:03:15,215
time. And I'm I wish they didn't have

1798
01:03:15,215 --> 01:03:16,914
to get hurt to get to that point.

1799
01:03:17,215 --> 01:03:19,320
Yeah. But I'm glad they're taking their time.

1800
01:03:20,420 --> 01:03:21,159
Yeah. It's

1801
01:03:23,059 --> 01:03:24,679
anybody can say anything.

1802
01:03:25,300 --> 01:03:27,380
Mhmm. So it's not what they say. It's

1803
01:03:27,380 --> 01:03:29,059
what they do. Do. And it's what they

1804
01:03:29,059 --> 01:03:32,375
do over time. And if they are telling

1805
01:03:32,375 --> 01:03:33,894
you that there are other people who can

1806
01:03:33,894 --> 01:03:35,434
vouch for them, then

1807
01:03:35,974 --> 01:03:37,734
go see if those people will really vouch

1808
01:03:37,734 --> 01:03:39,655
for them. Right? Like, what would they say

1809
01:03:39,655 --> 01:03:41,734
about them if that they're not standing there.

1810
01:03:41,734 --> 01:03:42,234
Right?

1811
01:03:43,250 --> 01:03:45,809
And, again, none of this is foolproof. You

1812
01:03:45,809 --> 01:03:48,469
can do all all of the air quote

1813
01:03:48,690 --> 01:03:49,510
right things

1814
01:03:49,969 --> 01:03:52,069
and still be lied to, still be manipulated,

1815
01:03:52,369 --> 01:03:55,010
still get, you know, a a person who

1816
01:03:55,010 --> 01:03:57,489
just played this really long fucked up game

1817
01:03:57,489 --> 01:03:58,150
with you.

1818
01:03:59,375 --> 01:04:00,974
But these are the best ways to do

1819
01:04:00,974 --> 01:04:03,135
that. Can happen, but, you know, you you

1820
01:04:03,135 --> 01:04:05,375
need to do your best to protect yourself.

1821
01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:06,835
Right. And it you know,

1822
01:04:08,335 --> 01:04:10,094
it's all you can do. And at some

1823
01:04:10,094 --> 01:04:12,389
point, it's a leap of faith. You have

1824
01:04:12,389 --> 01:04:12,889
gathered

1825
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:15,429
as much information as you can. Mhmm. You

1826
01:04:15,429 --> 01:04:17,989
have observed as much as you can. You

1827
01:04:17,989 --> 01:04:20,309
are making the best judgment you can in

1828
01:04:20,309 --> 01:04:22,650
the moment with the information you have.

1829
01:04:23,030 --> 01:04:24,425
Are you willing to take the next a

1830
01:04:24,425 --> 01:04:25,864
little bit of a leap of faith? And

1831
01:04:25,864 --> 01:04:27,804
a leap of faith does not mean

1832
01:04:28,585 --> 01:04:30,585
we talked online 3 times. I kind of

1833
01:04:30,585 --> 01:04:33,065
vetted you, and now I am alone in

1834
01:04:33,065 --> 01:04:35,385
a back alley room tied up, and you're

1835
01:04:35,385 --> 01:04:37,340
throwing knives at me. Okay?

1836
01:04:38,760 --> 01:04:40,599
It's like, we're gonna start with a little

1837
01:04:40,599 --> 01:04:42,200
scene and a little kink and maybe a

1838
01:04:42,200 --> 01:04:44,680
little power exchange. We're gonna start really, really

1839
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:47,079
small. Yeah. Because that's how you test the

1840
01:04:47,079 --> 01:04:47,579
waters.

1841
01:04:48,119 --> 01:04:49,480
And then the thing and I have I

1842
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:50,940
have been ranting about this

1843
01:04:51,305 --> 01:04:52,285
probably since 2015.

1844
01:04:53,144 --> 01:04:54,825
You know? Not everybody knows how to listen

1845
01:04:54,825 --> 01:04:56,345
to their instincts. There's a lot of reasons

1846
01:04:56,345 --> 01:04:57,704
and a lot of shit people go through

1847
01:04:57,704 --> 01:04:59,244
where they don't trust themselves.

1848
01:04:59,625 --> 01:05:00,125
Mhmm.

1849
01:05:00,505 --> 01:05:03,305
Here's the thing. Not trusting yourself doesn't mean

1850
01:05:03,305 --> 01:05:05,465
that there's not some part of your physical

1851
01:05:05,465 --> 01:05:08,400
being that's reacting and responding. You just don't

1852
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:09,139
trust it.

1853
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:12,579
So I would rather people be overly cautious

1854
01:05:13,679 --> 01:05:16,239
and maybe let a decent partner slip through

1855
01:05:16,239 --> 01:05:16,980
their fingers

1856
01:05:17,599 --> 01:05:20,079
because they listened to some internal part of

1857
01:05:20,079 --> 01:05:22,264
themselves that went, something didn't feel right.

1858
01:05:22,644 --> 01:05:24,644
Right? Like, just I don't want people to

1859
01:05:24,644 --> 01:05:26,905
have the kind of trust issues I have,

1860
01:05:27,045 --> 01:05:28,724
but I want some folks to have a

1861
01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:31,545
few more trust issues than they do. Mhmm.

1862
01:05:31,605 --> 01:05:33,360
Trust but verify. You know what I mean?

1863
01:05:34,239 --> 01:05:36,720
Mean? So last question that has nothing to

1864
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:37,680
do with any of this, but it's the

1865
01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,200
last one because I was like, this is

1866
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:39,700
fun.

1867
01:05:40,239 --> 01:05:41,940
They said, I am new to the podcast

1868
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:42,660
and curious.

1869
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,760
Why are the listeners called crickets? I was

1870
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:47,200
expecting to get the why do you hate

1871
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:49,594
this fucking handle so much. Right. We've answered

1872
01:05:49,594 --> 01:05:50,795
that one a few times. We've answered this

1873
01:05:50,795 --> 01:05:52,474
one a few times, but we'll answer again.

1874
01:05:52,474 --> 01:05:53,914
So in a while, I think. So, you

1875
01:05:53,914 --> 01:05:56,315
know, go ahead. Early ish days of the

1876
01:05:56,315 --> 01:05:56,815
podcast.

1877
01:05:57,114 --> 01:05:58,174
Early enough

1878
01:05:59,114 --> 01:06:01,034
that it's not so early that I it

1879
01:06:01,034 --> 01:06:02,875
was just me. It was when JB was

1880
01:06:02,875 --> 01:06:04,869
finally part of the episodes as well.

1881
01:06:05,329 --> 01:06:07,170
I don't know if y'all can tell. I'm

1882
01:06:07,170 --> 01:06:07,829
a rambler.

1883
01:06:08,130 --> 01:06:10,449
Okay? These this train of thought, there are

1884
01:06:10,449 --> 01:06:12,710
many tracks. They diverge. Okay?

1885
01:06:13,010 --> 01:06:14,769
We got change stations or whatever the fuck

1886
01:06:14,769 --> 01:06:16,445
they're called all over the place. Right?

1887
01:06:16,825 --> 01:06:18,505
So what was happening is we would be

1888
01:06:18,505 --> 01:06:20,265
trying to talk about a topic, and I

1889
01:06:20,265 --> 01:06:22,585
would, whoop, get veered off and spend a

1890
01:06:22,585 --> 01:06:23,625
few minutes talking about it. I was on

1891
01:06:23,625 --> 01:06:24,204
the nose.

1892
01:06:24,664 --> 01:06:26,265
And a person who had been listening from

1893
01:06:26,265 --> 01:06:27,945
the very beginning, they were very kind. I

1894
01:06:27,945 --> 01:06:29,085
don't I don't handle,

1895
01:06:30,269 --> 01:06:32,829
unasked for criticism well, but this time I

1896
01:06:32,829 --> 01:06:33,949
was I was in the right room of

1897
01:06:33,949 --> 01:06:36,030
mine. They messaged me on FetLife and went,

1898
01:06:36,030 --> 01:06:37,890
I love your podcast. I love the topics,

1899
01:06:38,269 --> 01:06:40,670
but you were killing me with these side

1900
01:06:40,670 --> 01:06:41,170
stories.

1901
01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:43,184
But I always wanted to share with the

1902
01:06:43,265 --> 01:06:45,025
side stories because, okay, the way my brain

1903
01:06:45,025 --> 01:06:46,324
works, they were all relevant.

1904
01:06:47,265 --> 01:06:48,545
If your brain doesn't work that way, you

1905
01:06:48,545 --> 01:06:49,985
might not see the relevance. But in my

1906
01:06:49,985 --> 01:06:51,425
mind, they were. But there were also things

1907
01:06:51,425 --> 01:06:52,864
I wanted to share with people because we

1908
01:06:52,864 --> 01:06:54,545
would be talking about a part of power

1909
01:06:54,545 --> 01:06:57,204
exchange and would make me think of something

1910
01:06:57,410 --> 01:06:59,410
kind of semi related that I wanted to

1911
01:06:59,410 --> 01:07:01,030
share. So, what we did

1912
01:07:01,329 --> 01:07:04,710
was we started with I'm not always Excalibur,

1913
01:07:05,489 --> 01:07:07,650
that's a good one. Ass beater, that's a

1914
01:07:07,650 --> 01:07:10,369
paddle name, good one. The bonus section is

1915
01:07:10,369 --> 01:07:12,535
not a good name. I'm not usually good

1916
01:07:12,535 --> 01:07:13,594
with names. Okay?

1917
01:07:13,974 --> 01:07:16,074
It's the bonus section. And what would happen

1918
01:07:16,215 --> 01:07:17,355
with the way it started

1919
01:07:17,974 --> 01:07:20,614
was every little, like, side story I wanted

1920
01:07:20,614 --> 01:07:22,215
to say in the middle of a topic,

1921
01:07:22,215 --> 01:07:23,735
I would somehow I think I was jotting

1922
01:07:23,735 --> 01:07:24,555
notes down.

1923
01:07:24,860 --> 01:07:26,380
Try to remember it, and we would get

1924
01:07:26,380 --> 01:07:27,579
to the end of the episode. We would

1925
01:07:27,579 --> 01:07:29,099
say our goodbyes, and then we would go

1926
01:07:29,099 --> 01:07:30,780
into the bonus section, and I would talk

1927
01:07:30,780 --> 01:07:32,940
about whatever had popped into my fucking mind

1928
01:07:32,940 --> 01:07:34,159
that I could still remember

1929
01:07:34,699 --> 01:07:36,940
in this bonus section. And it mostly wasn't

1930
01:07:36,940 --> 01:07:39,340
about kink. It still is not hardly ever

1931
01:07:39,340 --> 01:07:40,239
about kink.

1932
01:07:41,714 --> 01:07:43,094
In the 1st few

1933
01:07:43,795 --> 01:07:45,795
weeks of that, maybe 1st few months, I

1934
01:07:45,795 --> 01:07:46,534
would say

1935
01:07:47,315 --> 01:07:48,134
to JB,

1936
01:07:49,234 --> 01:07:50,134
I am sure

1937
01:07:50,434 --> 01:07:52,514
that nobody is here listening to this. Why

1938
01:07:52,514 --> 01:07:54,355
would anybody listen to this part? This is

1939
01:07:54,355 --> 01:07:56,280
not about the topic. I am sure we

1940
01:07:56,280 --> 01:07:57,900
are just talking to crickets.

1941
01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:00,360
Okay? That's where it started. And then this

1942
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:01,719
is when I was still on Twitter before

1943
01:08:01,719 --> 01:08:02,860
it really fucking sucked.

1944
01:08:03,559 --> 01:08:05,640
We had somebody who tweeted at us and

1945
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:08,195
went, hey. I'm listening to the bonus section.

1946
01:08:08,655 --> 01:08:09,555
I'm a hashtag

1947
01:08:10,015 --> 01:08:10,914
proud cricket.

1948
01:08:12,094 --> 01:08:12,914
And there

1949
01:08:13,375 --> 01:08:16,175
I know. There it was. A merchandising and

1950
01:08:16,175 --> 01:08:18,114
branding opportunity when I see it.

1951
01:08:18,494 --> 01:08:19,234
And truly,

1952
01:08:19,935 --> 01:08:21,074
the Patreon community

1953
01:08:21,439 --> 01:08:23,520
is the Proud Cricket community. Every coupon code

1954
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:24,659
we give, Proud Cricket.

1955
01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:27,539
The tiers are related to crickets.

1956
01:08:29,679 --> 01:08:32,159
I went all fucking in. A fan who's

1957
01:08:32,159 --> 01:08:32,819
an artist

1958
01:08:33,359 --> 01:08:35,039
gifted us some artwork and said, you know,

1959
01:08:35,039 --> 01:08:36,560
you can use it in whatever you want.

1960
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:37,305
I just never sell

1961
01:08:39,784 --> 01:08:39,939
sell it. I'd like if I if I

1962
01:08:39,939 --> 01:08:40,905
do anything with their artwork that they've granted

1963
01:08:40,905 --> 01:08:42,744
me permission to do with it. It's like

1964
01:08:42,744 --> 01:08:44,985
freebies for the the patrons or whatever. But

1965
01:08:44,985 --> 01:08:48,125
it was it was cricket stuff, like crickets

1966
01:08:48,185 --> 01:08:49,864
because the people who were staying to the

1967
01:08:49,864 --> 01:08:52,110
bitter end Mhmm. At that time

1968
01:08:52,650 --> 01:08:55,050
started calling themselves crickets because I I was

1969
01:08:55,050 --> 01:08:56,890
like, nobody's here. We're talking to crickets. And

1970
01:08:56,890 --> 01:08:58,409
they were like, you are talking to crickets.

1971
01:08:58,409 --> 01:09:00,430
You're talking to us. We are the crickets.

1972
01:09:01,610 --> 01:09:04,005
And I have fucking loved that since it

1973
01:09:04,005 --> 01:09:05,304
happened. I remember

1974
01:09:05,685 --> 01:09:07,204
because it's a little bit of it's first

1975
01:09:07,204 --> 01:09:08,725
of all, it's a vulnerable fucking thing to

1976
01:09:08,725 --> 01:09:10,164
turn on a microphone and go, I'm going

1977
01:09:10,164 --> 01:09:11,604
to tell you all the thoughts in my

1978
01:09:11,604 --> 01:09:13,204
head and put it out there into the

1979
01:09:13,204 --> 01:09:15,364
world. Right? And it's a little scary, but

1980
01:09:15,364 --> 01:09:17,045
you kinda feel like you're talk like, we're

1981
01:09:17,045 --> 01:09:18,569
talking to one another. Right?

1982
01:09:19,050 --> 01:09:20,489
And then when you start getting feedback, you're

1983
01:09:20,489 --> 01:09:22,250
like, oh my god. There's people listening. So

1984
01:09:22,250 --> 01:09:23,849
then you're a little bit more aware of

1985
01:09:23,849 --> 01:09:26,090
yourself. Then when you get a critique like

1986
01:09:26,090 --> 01:09:28,329
that, and we decided to do something about

1987
01:09:28,329 --> 01:09:28,829
it,

1988
01:09:30,810 --> 01:09:32,595
it was hard because now I'm like,

1989
01:09:33,395 --> 01:09:35,155
but I don't even know why people are

1990
01:09:35,155 --> 01:09:36,755
here. Like, this was early days. I'm like,

1991
01:09:36,755 --> 01:09:38,675
I don't do they like us? Do they

1992
01:09:38,675 --> 01:09:40,114
like the top? Like, I don't know. So

1993
01:09:40,114 --> 01:09:42,034
would they stay for this? And then to

1994
01:09:42,034 --> 01:09:44,755
find out that not only were people staying

1995
01:09:44,755 --> 01:09:46,454
for my weird ramblings,

1996
01:09:47,789 --> 01:09:50,670
they were then identifying themselves in such a

1997
01:09:50,670 --> 01:09:52,349
way. I mean, it was just so fucking

1998
01:09:52,349 --> 01:09:52,849
gratifying.

1999
01:09:53,389 --> 01:09:55,229
Mhmm. So fucking gratifying. It was cool. So,

2000
01:09:55,229 --> 01:09:57,329
yeah, we're all in on crickets now. Mhmm.

2001
01:09:58,189 --> 01:09:58,689
So,

2002
01:09:59,869 --> 01:10:00,369
yeah,

2003
01:10:00,670 --> 01:10:03,345
there there were several questions. Some were so

2004
01:10:03,345 --> 01:10:03,845
broad.

2005
01:10:04,625 --> 01:10:07,185
We will need, like, an episode to talk

2006
01:10:07,185 --> 01:10:07,685
about.

2007
01:10:08,385 --> 01:10:09,824
And I have to have a business meeting

2008
01:10:09,824 --> 01:10:11,185
with you because I had a whole I

2009
01:10:11,185 --> 01:10:13,505
had a series of podcast episodes, like a

2010
01:10:13,505 --> 01:10:15,105
literal, hey. We're gonna I wanna call this

2011
01:10:15,105 --> 01:10:17,329
a series. That's how many topics came to

2012
01:10:17,329 --> 01:10:20,050
me at one time. It's the stupid walk

2013
01:10:20,050 --> 01:10:21,510
for our stupid mental health.

2014
01:10:21,889 --> 01:10:22,789
So it does it.

2015
01:10:23,170 --> 01:10:25,010
And so some of these questions that were

2016
01:10:25,010 --> 01:10:27,090
just too broad might be either part of

2017
01:10:27,090 --> 01:10:29,409
that series or just an episode to do.

2018
01:10:29,409 --> 01:10:29,805
So

2019
01:10:31,085 --> 01:10:33,085
so, yeah, that was the last one. Thank

2020
01:10:33,085 --> 01:10:35,485
you all for your your questions. Mhmm. I

2021
01:10:35,485 --> 01:10:37,185
am okay. So

2022
01:10:37,485 --> 01:10:39,725
we take questions over on Instagram, like I

2023
01:10:39,725 --> 01:10:41,564
said, because it's just easier the mechanism they

2024
01:10:41,564 --> 01:10:42,704
have. But, also,

2025
01:10:43,324 --> 01:10:44,305
I have started,

2026
01:10:44,970 --> 01:10:47,130
letting my goofy side out in a different

2027
01:10:47,130 --> 01:10:49,289
way over there. The reels I post are,

2028
01:10:49,289 --> 01:10:51,689
like, meme like reels that I'm making. Like,

2029
01:10:51,689 --> 01:10:53,289
I'm taking, like, a popular sound or a

2030
01:10:53,289 --> 01:10:55,770
popular meme, but I'm kinking it up. And

2031
01:10:55,770 --> 01:10:58,054
I don't know if I'm entertaining anybody else,

2032
01:10:58,054 --> 01:11:00,954
but I am delighted, and I'm laughing

2033
01:11:01,335 --> 01:11:02,074
and cackling

2034
01:11:02,614 --> 01:11:04,774
over the shit that I'm posting. And so

2035
01:11:04,774 --> 01:11:06,614
if you're, like, a little skeptical about the

2036
01:11:06,614 --> 01:11:08,314
Instagram thing, I'm just saying,

2037
01:11:09,030 --> 01:11:10,409
I think I'm hilarious.

2038
01:11:11,909 --> 01:11:13,590
If you would like to find out, it's

2039
01:11:13,590 --> 01:11:16,069
at that fucking handle I hate, loving d

2040
01:11:16,069 --> 01:11:17,829
s and the number one. So at loving

2041
01:11:17,829 --> 01:11:20,010
d s one. I fucking hate that handle.

2042
01:11:20,390 --> 01:11:20,890
Anyway,

2043
01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:24,715
there. That's that's the pitch for the fucking

2044
01:11:24,715 --> 01:11:25,694
handle I hate.

2045
01:11:26,555 --> 01:11:28,074
And so now we can go into a

2046
01:11:28,074 --> 01:11:30,335
bonus section. So are we good?

2047
01:11:31,194 --> 01:11:33,354
Oh, my throat hurts. I have not talked

2048
01:11:33,354 --> 01:11:34,095
so much.

2049
01:11:34,635 --> 01:11:35,880
My throat hurts. I've talked so much.

2050
01:11:36,920 --> 01:11:38,520
Keep it kinky, y'all. I will see you

2051
01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:39,260
next week.

2052
01:11:48,520 --> 01:11:50,679
Daddy. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to

2053
01:11:50,679 --> 01:11:51,739
the crickets, please?

2054
01:11:52,965 --> 01:11:54,805
Well, what if they don't wanna hear hear

2055
01:11:54,805 --> 01:11:56,564
us talk anymore? Then they're free to leave.

2056
01:11:56,564 --> 01:11:58,405
That's what consent's about. I can talk to

2057
01:11:58,405 --> 01:12:00,645
my I've been talking to myself for 44

2058
01:12:00,645 --> 01:12:02,725
years. Pretty sure before I was able to

2059
01:12:02,725 --> 01:12:04,596
form words, the babble was really for my

2060
01:12:04,596 --> 01:12:04,682
benefit, not for anybody else's. Not for anybody

2061
01:12:04,682 --> 01:12:06,091
else's. So while I hope folks not for

2062
01:12:06,091 --> 01:12:08,100
anybody else's. For anybody else's. So while

2063
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:09,563
I hope folks will stay and I want

2064
01:12:09,563 --> 01:12:10,194
folks to stay and I might I would

2065
01:12:10,194 --> 01:12:10,560
be sad if we were alone, I can

2066
01:12:10,560 --> 01:12:12,319
keep talking with no fucking body. You could

2067
01:12:12,319 --> 01:12:14,420
leave, and I would keep going.

2068
01:12:14,720 --> 01:12:15,220
Okay.

2069
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:16,260
Nope.

2070
01:12:21,505 --> 01:12:24,064
I meant if everybody else went away and

2071
01:12:24,064 --> 01:12:24,805
you left,

2072
01:12:25,185 --> 01:12:27,024
I could keep going. That is what I

2073
01:12:27,024 --> 01:12:27,524
meant.

2074
01:12:30,225 --> 01:12:31,925
Did you ever answer the question?

2075
01:12:32,710 --> 01:12:33,210
No.

2076
01:12:34,390 --> 01:12:36,229
Well, that's it's a good thing I kept

2077
01:12:36,229 --> 01:12:38,949
talking just to you then, isn't it? Yeah.

2078
01:12:38,949 --> 01:12:41,430
Mhmm. Yeah. Mhmm. You can talk to the

2079
01:12:41,430 --> 01:12:42,729
crickets. Thank you, dad.

2080
01:12:44,390 --> 01:12:46,524
Lola is having a rough week. We have

2081
01:12:46,524 --> 01:12:48,465
to give the the Lola report.

2082
01:12:49,244 --> 01:12:51,184
Lola has a very swollen,

2083
01:12:51,644 --> 01:12:54,284
very swollen eye. Looks like somebody popped her

2084
01:12:54,284 --> 01:12:55,404
in the head. That is not what happened.

2085
01:12:55,404 --> 01:12:56,925
But, I mean, you're like, did she get

2086
01:12:56,925 --> 01:12:59,270
in a fist fight? What happened to her?

2087
01:12:59,270 --> 01:13:00,710
It's your story to tell her. The funny

2088
01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,329
thing is is that over the weekend,

2089
01:13:03,430 --> 01:13:04,890
somebody was asking about

2090
01:13:05,510 --> 01:13:08,390
Lola, like, oh, she's she's doing good. She's

2091
01:13:08,390 --> 01:13:09,210
doing good.

2092
01:13:09,590 --> 01:13:10,090
And

2093
01:13:11,750 --> 01:13:12,810
that went to

2094
01:13:13,195 --> 01:13:14,015
shit real quick.

2095
01:13:14,875 --> 01:13:16,795
Mhmm. So, you know, yeah. Back in back

2096
01:13:16,795 --> 01:13:18,715
in July, took her to the had to

2097
01:13:18,715 --> 01:13:20,635
take her into the vet, because there there

2098
01:13:20,635 --> 01:13:22,235
was something going on with her eye that

2099
01:13:22,235 --> 01:13:23,854
we we didn't know. Right.

2100
01:13:24,155 --> 01:13:25,914
It wasn't bad at the time. The vet

2101
01:13:25,914 --> 01:13:26,814
looked at it,

2102
01:13:27,114 --> 01:13:27,614
and

2103
01:13:30,350 --> 01:13:32,430
it's it's one of 2 things. It's either

2104
01:13:32,430 --> 01:13:33,090
a clogged,

2105
01:13:33,869 --> 01:13:35,890
tear duct Mhmm. Or,

2106
01:13:36,989 --> 01:13:39,649
I guess this is apparently common in

2107
01:13:40,189 --> 01:13:41,649
in in Lola's breed.

2108
01:13:42,350 --> 01:13:42,750
The

2109
01:13:43,555 --> 01:13:45,255
Lower eyelid. Lower eyelid

2110
01:13:45,875 --> 01:13:48,194
has curled in on itself. And so her

2111
01:13:48,194 --> 01:13:50,854
eyelashes Eyelashes curled in too. Are curled in.

2112
01:13:51,795 --> 01:13:52,295
So,

2113
01:13:55,970 --> 01:13:57,750
you know, it was it was irritated,

2114
01:13:58,050 --> 01:13:59,890
but the vet said it wasn't to the,

2115
01:13:59,890 --> 01:14:00,710
you know, anything

2116
01:14:01,329 --> 01:14:04,050
serious, and, you know, it It was a

2117
01:14:04,050 --> 01:14:06,130
keep an eye Keep Yeah. Pardon the pun,

2118
01:14:06,130 --> 01:14:07,989
keep an eye on it kind of situation.

2119
01:14:08,375 --> 01:14:08,875
Yep.

2120
01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:10,154
So,

2121
01:14:12,694 --> 01:14:13,194
Monday,

2122
01:14:15,494 --> 01:14:17,734
noticed that her eye was looking a little

2123
01:14:17,734 --> 01:14:19,515
more red. Mhmm.

2124
01:14:19,895 --> 01:14:21,435
Or, you know, the around

2125
01:14:21,895 --> 01:14:24,234
the eye, the eyelids, the lower eyelid.

2126
01:14:25,710 --> 01:14:26,210
Tuesday

2127
01:14:27,069 --> 01:14:27,569
morning,

2128
01:14:29,149 --> 01:14:29,890
woke up,

2129
01:14:30,750 --> 01:14:31,250
and

2130
01:14:33,630 --> 01:14:34,930
her eyelid was

2131
01:14:35,789 --> 01:14:36,289
angry.

2132
01:14:36,965 --> 01:14:39,385
Yeah. Very, very swollen. One.

2133
01:14:40,484 --> 01:14:41,545
Noticed some discharge.

2134
01:14:43,925 --> 01:14:45,685
Got her into the vet. Vet was able

2135
01:14:45,685 --> 01:14:47,524
to see her that morning. Like, a couple

2136
01:14:47,524 --> 01:14:49,604
hours later Yeah. Because I had I had

2137
01:14:49,604 --> 01:14:51,364
a doctor's appointment. I had to go to

2138
01:14:51,364 --> 01:14:53,020
get get the oldest and take him grocery

2139
01:14:53,020 --> 01:14:54,300
shopping. Like, I was gone. I'm like, I

2140
01:14:54,300 --> 01:14:56,140
cannot help you. Here's do you have the

2141
01:14:56,140 --> 01:14:57,420
number for the vet? You're gonna have to

2142
01:14:57,420 --> 01:14:58,560
call them. Yeah.

2143
01:14:59,100 --> 01:14:59,420
And,

2144
01:15:00,539 --> 01:15:01,199
you know,

2145
01:15:01,659 --> 01:15:02,159
so

2146
01:15:04,805 --> 01:15:05,305
we

2147
01:15:08,485 --> 01:15:10,645
what the vet looked for was to see

2148
01:15:10,645 --> 01:15:12,744
that she did not have any active ulcers

2149
01:15:12,805 --> 01:15:14,805
in her eye, which she did not. That

2150
01:15:14,805 --> 01:15:16,104
that came back

2151
01:15:16,739 --> 01:15:17,239
fine,

2152
01:15:17,939 --> 01:15:18,920
which was good.

2153
01:15:20,500 --> 01:15:21,559
So what

2154
01:15:23,059 --> 01:15:24,760
she's having us do right now,

2155
01:15:25,539 --> 01:15:27,399
3 times a day, I have to put

2156
01:15:27,619 --> 01:15:29,399
drops in her eye, 2 drops

2157
01:15:30,534 --> 01:15:31,755
in in her eye.

2158
01:15:32,854 --> 01:15:33,354
And

2159
01:15:33,975 --> 01:15:35,414
then I also have to put,

2160
01:15:36,774 --> 01:15:38,155
get a hot compress

2161
01:15:40,534 --> 01:15:42,454
and put it over her eye for several

2162
01:15:42,454 --> 01:15:42,954
minutes.

2163
01:15:47,310 --> 01:15:48,989
I got a E Z Pass on the

2164
01:15:48,989 --> 01:15:51,149
first eye drops. Because you didn't know what

2165
01:15:51,149 --> 01:15:52,850
that was. You didn't know what was coming.

2166
01:15:54,989 --> 01:15:56,369
Yeah. Since since then,

2167
01:15:56,829 --> 01:15:58,670
the eye drops have been a little bit

2168
01:15:58,670 --> 01:16:01,784
of a challenge. She does not like it.

2169
01:16:01,784 --> 01:16:03,404
No. She does not. Mm-mm.

2170
01:16:04,664 --> 01:16:07,704
But she seems to do very well with

2171
01:16:07,704 --> 01:16:09,784
the with the hot compress. Yeah. I think

2172
01:16:09,784 --> 01:16:11,640
it must be comforting to her. Yeah. Plus,

2173
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:13,239
you're hugging her and petting on her and

2174
01:16:13,239 --> 01:16:14,840
loving her at the same time. At the

2175
01:16:14,840 --> 01:16:15,579
same time.

2176
01:16:16,039 --> 01:16:19,079
So what what we're kinda looking at at

2177
01:16:19,079 --> 01:16:20,380
this point is,

2178
01:16:21,479 --> 01:16:22,539
get to this Friday

2179
01:16:22,920 --> 01:16:25,719
and see if the eye drops I think

2180
01:16:25,719 --> 01:16:26,939
they're like an antibiotic

2181
01:16:27,555 --> 01:16:29,734
eye drop is what you told me. Okay.

2182
01:16:32,274 --> 01:16:34,055
So the eye drops and the hot compress

2183
01:16:34,274 --> 01:16:36,454
till Friday. If there is no

2184
01:16:41,180 --> 01:16:42,239
major improvement,

2185
01:16:42,939 --> 01:16:45,199
then they're gonna put put put her on

2186
01:16:45,260 --> 01:16:47,739
antibiotics. Like a pill, kind of antibiotics. Got

2187
01:16:47,739 --> 01:16:48,239
it.

2188
01:16:49,500 --> 01:16:51,439
And if that does not work,

2189
01:16:52,220 --> 01:16:54,000
then they will have to do surgery.

2190
01:16:54,300 --> 01:16:54,800
Yeah.

2191
01:16:55,545 --> 01:16:56,045
Yeah.

2192
01:16:56,585 --> 01:16:58,744
So we're hoping that the other things work.

2193
01:16:58,744 --> 01:17:00,685
We're we're hoping the other things work. Yeah.

2194
01:17:01,625 --> 01:17:03,005
She she is being

2195
01:17:03,784 --> 01:17:06,505
such a champ about it. Yeah. Yeah. She's

2196
01:17:06,505 --> 01:17:10,460
not aggressive. She's she's quieter. She's lower energy.

2197
01:17:10,460 --> 01:17:12,300
And she was already a baked potato, but

2198
01:17:12,300 --> 01:17:13,520
she's lower energy

2199
01:17:13,980 --> 01:17:16,400
than usual. But she's, like, she's not aggressive.

2200
01:17:16,539 --> 01:17:18,860
She's not so miserable that she's lashing out.

2201
01:17:18,860 --> 01:17:21,340
She's just like, can I sleep in the

2202
01:17:21,340 --> 01:17:24,024
most comfortable spot that I can find? Will

2203
01:17:24,024 --> 01:17:27,005
you stop putting things in my eyeball? Right.

2204
01:17:27,225 --> 01:17:27,725
Right.

2205
01:17:29,465 --> 01:17:29,965
Now,

2206
01:17:30,905 --> 01:17:31,645
the upside

2207
01:17:32,024 --> 01:17:32,925
to all this,

2208
01:17:34,265 --> 01:17:35,405
she has lost £4.

2209
01:17:35,784 --> 01:17:38,220
She has? Oh, god. Yeah. I didn't tell

2210
01:17:38,220 --> 01:17:40,060
you why I was so confused. Did I

2211
01:17:40,300 --> 01:17:42,140
so I'm texting back and forth with JB

2212
01:17:42,539 --> 01:17:44,539
Mhmm. As I'm at red lights as I'm

2213
01:17:44,539 --> 01:17:45,899
trying to get to where I need to

2214
01:17:45,899 --> 01:17:48,539
be to be with the kid. And,

2215
01:17:49,260 --> 01:17:51,500
he tells me, oh, she weighed in. She's

2216
01:17:51,500 --> 01:17:52,000
£81.

2217
01:17:54,145 --> 01:17:56,545
My brain remembered that the last time she

2218
01:17:56,545 --> 01:17:59,905
weighed in, she had dropped 1 pound. Right.

2219
01:17:59,905 --> 01:18:02,244
So when I saw the 1 in 81,

2220
01:18:02,305 --> 01:18:04,064
I was like, she's never gonna lose weight.

2221
01:18:04,064 --> 01:18:06,360
And he comes back with, that was £4

2222
01:18:06,579 --> 01:18:08,340
lost. I was, like, I don't know how

2223
01:18:08,340 --> 01:18:09,000
to number.

2224
01:18:09,380 --> 01:18:11,060
I don't know how numbers work. Because because

2225
01:18:11,060 --> 01:18:12,520
initially, she was 85.

2226
01:18:16,020 --> 01:18:18,260
No. She was 80 85. Okay. Then she

2227
01:18:18,260 --> 01:18:19,880
was 84. Then she was 84.

2228
01:18:20,465 --> 01:18:22,144
Now she's 81. And now she's 81. So

2229
01:18:22,144 --> 01:18:24,385
her medication seems to be helping. Yes. Could

2230
01:18:24,385 --> 01:18:26,465
I get some of that? Would her vet

2231
01:18:26,465 --> 01:18:26,965
please?

2232
01:18:27,344 --> 01:18:28,005
No. I'm

2233
01:18:28,465 --> 01:18:30,704
at a different weight class, so I might

2234
01:18:30,704 --> 01:18:32,864
need a different dose. So so that's kinda

2235
01:18:32,864 --> 01:18:35,844
where we're we're at with, poor Lola.

2236
01:18:37,930 --> 01:18:39,310
Kinda noticed she wasn't

2237
01:18:41,289 --> 01:18:43,530
yowling tonight the way she has been the

2238
01:18:43,530 --> 01:18:45,130
last few weeks for a while. She got

2239
01:18:45,130 --> 01:18:48,270
swaddled on her cot and immediately fell asleep.

2240
01:18:48,570 --> 01:18:51,965
Yep. We we think temporarily. We think. We

2241
01:18:51,965 --> 01:18:53,724
found the trick. That that may be the

2242
01:18:53,724 --> 01:18:56,604
trick. We recorded Monday's video and she didn't

2243
01:18:56,604 --> 01:18:57,824
say a word. Sound.

2244
01:18:58,204 --> 01:19:00,385
And, yeah, prior to the recording,

2245
01:19:00,925 --> 01:19:02,970
she was she was kind of on her

2246
01:19:02,970 --> 01:19:04,810
bed, but she wasn't, you know, she was

2247
01:19:04,810 --> 01:19:07,470
doing that circling thing that the dogs do.

2248
01:19:08,170 --> 01:19:09,850
And I went over there, I grabbed her

2249
01:19:09,850 --> 01:19:11,710
blanket, and I picked it up,

2250
01:19:12,489 --> 01:19:13,470
put it on,

2251
01:19:13,850 --> 01:19:15,850
you know, put the blanket on her. She

2252
01:19:15,850 --> 01:19:17,595
she laid down, and then I just kinda

2253
01:19:17,914 --> 01:19:20,655
swaddled and, you know, covered her. And she

2254
01:19:21,515 --> 01:19:24,095
put put her nose down into the blanket

2255
01:19:24,475 --> 01:19:27,114
under her, and she has been there the

2256
01:19:27,114 --> 01:19:29,034
whole time. We love a comfy, cozy girl.

2257
01:19:29,034 --> 01:19:31,034
Yep. She's in her comfy era. K. I

2258
01:19:31,034 --> 01:19:32,875
love to be comfy, cozy too. So I

2259
01:19:32,875 --> 01:19:33,375
mean,

2260
01:19:35,170 --> 01:19:35,670
same.

2261
01:19:36,289 --> 01:19:38,149
Okay. I don't I'm not gonna go into

2262
01:19:38,369 --> 01:19:40,210
too great a detail here, but I have

2263
01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:43,170
to complain about this. Uh-oh. I already complained

2264
01:19:43,170 --> 01:19:45,010
to you about it. So I went to

2265
01:19:45,010 --> 01:19:46,929
the doctor Okay. So it's nothing that I

2266
01:19:46,929 --> 01:19:49,064
did. How this is not the form I

2267
01:19:49,064 --> 01:19:50,444
would be complaining about.

2268
01:19:51,064 --> 01:19:53,164
Not for the first time it being mentioned.

2269
01:19:54,024 --> 01:19:55,944
I will complain after I've already talked to

2270
01:19:55,944 --> 01:19:58,045
you, and we're now laughing about it. Yeah.

2271
01:19:58,264 --> 01:19:58,447
Now had a doctor's appointment Tuesday because I'm

2272
01:19:58,447 --> 01:19:59,335
tired of sweating through the sheets at night.

2273
01:19:59,850 --> 01:20:02,569
Tuesday because I'm tired of sweating through the

2274
01:20:02,569 --> 01:20:05,550
sheets at night. Right? So I have

2275
01:20:05,850 --> 01:20:07,469
been dealing with the perimenopausal

2276
01:20:08,010 --> 01:20:09,869
journey. Please give me some more estrogen

2277
01:20:10,489 --> 01:20:10,969
kind of,

2278
01:20:11,689 --> 01:20:13,850
life for, what is it, like, a year?

2279
01:20:13,850 --> 01:20:16,074
Maybe a little over a year? Y'all know

2280
01:20:16,074 --> 01:20:17,135
I'm bad with dates

2281
01:20:17,515 --> 01:20:18,895
and my memory is shit.

2282
01:20:19,274 --> 01:20:22,074
But I have had lab work done, blood

2283
01:20:22,074 --> 01:20:22,574
drawn,

2284
01:20:23,354 --> 01:20:27,195
specific to check these specific hormone levels no

2285
01:20:27,195 --> 01:20:29,640
less than 4 times. Right? I have had

2286
01:20:29,699 --> 01:20:32,980
different prescriptions from this particular doctor. I've had

2287
01:20:32,980 --> 01:20:35,140
multiple visits. I can remember that because I

2288
01:20:35,140 --> 01:20:36,500
know how much I'm paying every time I

2289
01:20:36,500 --> 01:20:37,880
walk up to the front desk.

2290
01:20:38,659 --> 01:20:41,074
Okay. I go in for this visit because

2291
01:20:41,074 --> 01:20:42,375
I had I needed,

2292
01:20:43,554 --> 01:20:46,194
some medications to be, the prescription to be

2293
01:20:46,194 --> 01:20:46,694
renewed,

2294
01:20:48,114 --> 01:20:49,554
and I was also needing to tell the

2295
01:20:49,554 --> 01:20:51,234
doctor. And I've done this all online through

2296
01:20:51,234 --> 01:20:52,835
the, like, the messaging portals. Like, I need

2297
01:20:52,835 --> 01:20:55,094
this renewed. It's there's no more,

2298
01:20:55,810 --> 01:20:58,210
refills on this. And, also, I'm still fucking

2299
01:20:58,210 --> 01:21:00,530
miserable, and it's actually gotten worse. Is there

2300
01:21:00,530 --> 01:21:02,449
anything we can do? She's like, oh, we

2301
01:21:02,449 --> 01:21:03,970
need to do lab work, and you need

2302
01:21:03,970 --> 01:21:05,970
to come in for an appointment, and then

2303
01:21:05,970 --> 01:21:07,010
we can talk about it. I was like,

2304
01:21:07,010 --> 01:21:08,530
okay. Great. A few more weeks of misery.

2305
01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:10,630
This is lovely. So I did it.

2306
01:21:11,375 --> 01:21:12,675
We go I go.

2307
01:21:13,534 --> 01:21:15,154
The doctor walks in

2308
01:21:17,295 --> 01:21:19,454
and goes, so I see that we're here

2309
01:21:19,454 --> 01:21:21,694
to talk about your blood work and your

2310
01:21:21,694 --> 01:21:23,234
lab results today.

2311
01:21:23,800 --> 01:21:25,739
And, you know, maybe talk about

2312
01:21:26,359 --> 01:21:28,760
maybe talk about hormone replacement therapy. Have we

2313
01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:30,460
ever had this conversation before?

2314
01:21:30,840 --> 01:21:32,279
Have you ever had any of this done?

2315
01:21:32,279 --> 01:21:34,439
I'm like, nope. At least 3 or 4

2316
01:21:34,439 --> 01:21:34,939
times,

2317
01:21:35,574 --> 01:21:37,655
which was like, okay. Let me back up.

2318
01:21:37,655 --> 01:21:40,215
I do not expect busy doctors to remember

2319
01:21:40,215 --> 01:21:41,975
me every time I walk in. I recognize

2320
01:21:41,975 --> 01:21:42,715
that I

2321
01:21:43,175 --> 01:21:45,414
for for me, they're a singular person, so

2322
01:21:45,414 --> 01:21:47,414
I'm gonna remember them. And they see 100

2323
01:21:47,414 --> 01:21:49,650
of patients between like, the last time she

2324
01:21:49,650 --> 01:21:50,470
saw me and

2325
01:21:51,090 --> 01:21:53,030
maybe 1,000. I don't fucking know.

2326
01:21:53,570 --> 01:21:54,229
I don't

2327
01:21:54,850 --> 01:21:57,329
I don't expect you to, like, remember remember

2328
01:21:57,329 --> 01:21:57,829
me.

2329
01:21:58,369 --> 01:21:59,489
I would love it if you could at

2330
01:21:59,489 --> 01:22:01,454
least maybe remember my face. I would love

2331
01:22:01,454 --> 01:22:02,895
it even more if just before you walked

2332
01:22:02,895 --> 01:22:05,074
in the door, you looked at my fucking

2333
01:22:05,295 --> 01:22:05,795
chart.

2334
01:22:08,494 --> 01:22:08,994
So

2335
01:22:09,695 --> 01:22:11,695
this is a doctor who has a person

2336
01:22:11,695 --> 01:22:13,314
who's taking the notes and transcribing

2337
01:22:13,854 --> 01:22:17,260
as the appointment is happening. I appreciate that

2338
01:22:17,260 --> 01:22:19,100
because I don't think I would trust her

2339
01:22:19,100 --> 01:22:19,600
to

2340
01:22:19,979 --> 01:22:21,979
to to chart and put notes in in

2341
01:22:21,979 --> 01:22:24,140
my chart as so I'm great. So then

2342
01:22:24,140 --> 01:22:25,659
she turns to this person while I'm still

2343
01:22:25,659 --> 01:22:27,579
sitting there and goes, oh, show me the

2344
01:22:27,579 --> 01:22:29,420
last few. Goes through 4 of them and

2345
01:22:29,420 --> 01:22:30,640
goes, oh.

2346
01:22:31,574 --> 01:22:32,074
Oh,

2347
01:22:33,015 --> 01:22:33,515
oh,

2348
01:22:35,255 --> 01:22:37,654
okay. Okay. And I'm not rocking the fucking

2349
01:22:37,654 --> 01:22:38,774
boat because I don't need to piss this

2350
01:22:38,774 --> 01:22:39,895
woman off for her to go, I'm not

2351
01:22:39,895 --> 01:22:41,814
gonna give you these medications that I'm over

2352
01:22:41,814 --> 01:22:44,154
here going, I know I need these medications.

2353
01:22:44,215 --> 01:22:44,715
Okay.

2354
01:22:45,015 --> 01:22:46,050
So I'm just like

2355
01:22:47,550 --> 01:22:48,989
then she turns to me, and she goes,

2356
01:22:48,989 --> 01:22:49,489
okay.

2357
01:22:50,829 --> 01:22:52,429
So on you know? And she understood on

2358
01:22:52,429 --> 01:22:54,429
the testosterone, she needed to renew that because

2359
01:22:54,429 --> 01:22:56,109
it's a controlled substance. But she started talking

2360
01:22:56,109 --> 01:22:58,429
to me about testosterone cream and how that's

2361
01:22:58,429 --> 01:23:00,484
used for hormone replacement therapy as if it

2362
01:23:00,484 --> 01:23:02,164
was the first time. Okay. Well, I'm gonna

2363
01:23:02,164 --> 01:23:03,765
have to do this, and it's a controlled

2364
01:23:03,765 --> 01:23:05,445
substance, and you have to get it compounded

2365
01:23:05,445 --> 01:23:07,765
in here. And I'm just nodding, like, yeah.

2366
01:23:07,765 --> 01:23:10,824
I've had, like, 6 fucking refills. Like

2367
01:23:11,445 --> 01:23:13,039
but I didn't say that because I'm not

2368
01:23:13,039 --> 01:23:15,460
broken the boat. And I also am not

2369
01:23:15,600 --> 01:23:16,100
confrontational.

2370
01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:18,720
I'm just not. I'm just like, mhmm. Mhmm.

2371
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:21,199
Mhmm. And then she goes, okay. So you

2372
01:23:21,199 --> 01:23:23,360
should keep taking your progesterone. And I go,

2373
01:23:23,360 --> 01:23:25,619
well, you told me to stop taking that.

2374
01:23:26,375 --> 01:23:28,234
That doesn't sound like me.

2375
01:23:29,255 --> 01:23:30,534
This is one of those times I'm glad

2376
01:23:30,534 --> 01:23:32,774
I remember certain things. I go, well, the

2377
01:23:32,774 --> 01:23:34,875
conversation went like this. We were

2378
01:23:35,255 --> 01:23:37,594
the last time I'd gone on a medication

2379
01:23:37,654 --> 01:23:39,300
break and I came back in, and you

2380
01:23:39,300 --> 01:23:41,800
were renewing the medications because I was miserable

2381
01:23:41,859 --> 01:23:44,500
on that medication break. And you said, and

2382
01:23:44,500 --> 01:23:46,420
I quote, you don't have a uterus, so

2383
01:23:46,420 --> 01:23:48,180
you don't really need progesterone, so we won't

2384
01:23:48,180 --> 01:23:49,159
worry about that.

2385
01:23:49,780 --> 01:23:50,840
And then she goes

2386
01:23:51,220 --> 01:23:52,824
I said, because I and then because I

2387
01:23:52,824 --> 01:23:54,185
didn't think she remembered. I was like, I've

2388
01:23:54,185 --> 01:23:55,944
had a partial hysterectomy. I don't have a

2389
01:23:55,944 --> 01:23:57,164
uterus. She goes,

2390
01:23:57,704 --> 01:24:00,185
oh, yeah. Because, you know, progesterone is protective

2391
01:24:00,185 --> 01:24:02,185
for the but you do need progesterone. It's

2392
01:24:02,344 --> 01:24:04,764
your levels are very low. And I'm like,

2393
01:24:05,465 --> 01:24:07,470
really? She goes, so I'll give you a

2394
01:24:07,470 --> 01:24:09,229
higher dose and this is my highest limit.

2395
01:24:09,229 --> 01:24:10,350
I think that's probably as much as you

2396
01:24:10,350 --> 01:24:11,630
need. And if you're not already there, I'll

2397
01:24:11,630 --> 01:24:13,010
bump you up. And I'm like,

2398
01:24:13,310 --> 01:24:13,810
okay.

2399
01:24:16,510 --> 01:24:18,109
And I'm just I'm just nodding and I'm

2400
01:24:18,109 --> 01:24:20,430
just smiling because I'm like, get me through

2401
01:24:20,430 --> 01:24:21,170
this appointment.

2402
01:24:23,204 --> 01:24:25,364
And just I just want my medication again.

2403
01:24:25,364 --> 01:24:27,125
I just I wanna stop sweating through the

2404
01:24:27,125 --> 01:24:27,625
sheets.

2405
01:24:28,885 --> 01:24:31,125
And I would like the couch to stop

2406
01:24:31,125 --> 01:24:32,725
feeling like we're in the Sahara. That would

2407
01:24:32,725 --> 01:24:34,005
be great. And I would also like to

2408
01:24:34,005 --> 01:24:36,530
remember what wanting sex feels like because I

2409
01:24:36,530 --> 01:24:38,369
miss that. So I'm like, I'm just not

2410
01:24:38,449 --> 01:24:40,289
I'm just smiling and on. I'm smiling and

2411
01:24:40,289 --> 01:24:42,130
on. And I'm like, this bitch just

2412
01:24:42,930 --> 01:24:44,369
and so I'm was talking to my mom

2413
01:24:44,369 --> 01:24:46,210
later and she's like, why are you still

2414
01:24:46,210 --> 01:24:47,989
with this doctor? I'm like, because

2415
01:24:48,850 --> 01:24:50,704
going to this doctor means I don't have

2416
01:24:50,704 --> 01:24:52,404
to, like, meet new people

2417
01:24:52,784 --> 01:24:54,784
and do the research and read the Google

2418
01:24:54,784 --> 01:24:57,344
reviews and not trust the people leaving Google

2419
01:24:57,344 --> 01:24:57,844
reviews.

2420
01:24:58,545 --> 01:25:00,385
I know this woman will give me fucking

2421
01:25:00,385 --> 01:25:00,885
HRT.

2422
01:25:01,425 --> 01:25:02,784
I don't know if a new one will

2423
01:25:02,784 --> 01:25:03,444
or not.

2424
01:25:04,789 --> 01:25:06,170
So, anyway, that

2425
01:25:07,750 --> 01:25:08,250
was

2426
01:25:09,829 --> 01:25:10,329
my

2427
01:25:11,909 --> 01:25:12,409
complaint.

2428
01:25:13,989 --> 01:25:15,369
Yeah. That was a

2429
01:25:15,750 --> 01:25:17,430
a a bumpy day for you. Yeah. It

2430
01:25:17,430 --> 01:25:19,590
was already stressful because Lola's eye, and we

2431
01:25:19,590 --> 01:25:21,645
were having some stuff, like, just going on

2432
01:25:21,645 --> 01:25:23,005
that we had to deal. And, you know,

2433
01:25:23,005 --> 01:25:25,324
and I went from that appointment, which I

2434
01:25:25,324 --> 01:25:27,164
walked in stressed because I wanted my medication.

2435
01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:28,125
I didn't know if she'd give it to

2436
01:25:28,125 --> 01:25:29,885
me. But then I left stressed because I

2437
01:25:29,885 --> 01:25:31,885
was like, what the fuck? And then I

2438
01:25:31,885 --> 01:25:33,425
drove to Gainesville because

2439
01:25:34,510 --> 01:25:36,590
the 19 year old's like, I'm hungry. And

2440
01:25:36,590 --> 01:25:37,949
I don't mean he want a McDonald's. He's

2441
01:25:37,949 --> 01:25:39,229
like, can we take me to the grocery

2442
01:25:39,229 --> 01:25:40,829
store? I was like, yes. And we because

2443
01:25:40,829 --> 01:25:41,710
we were supposed to do it over the

2444
01:25:41,710 --> 01:25:43,149
weekend and we couldn't make that. It was

2445
01:25:43,229 --> 01:25:44,369
it's been wild.

2446
01:25:44,750 --> 01:25:46,430
So we go do that. And I look

2447
01:25:46,430 --> 01:25:48,590
at my I do not know how somebody

2448
01:25:48,590 --> 01:25:51,182
in podcast list, but if you can't see

2449
01:25:51,182 --> 01:25:53,845
me, but if you've ever seen a picture,

2450
01:25:53,845 --> 01:25:56,510
you know, I do not know how somebody

2451
01:25:56,510 --> 01:25:59,172
who looks like me had 2 very tall,

2452
01:25:59,172 --> 01:26:01,836
very slender children who cannot keep weight on.

2453
01:26:01,836 --> 01:26:04,899
I Yeah. And I mean, I I know

2454
01:26:04,899 --> 01:26:08,039
their biological father and I know that family.

2455
01:26:08,500 --> 01:26:10,020
None of us know where this has come

2456
01:26:10,020 --> 01:26:10,520
from.

2457
01:26:11,060 --> 01:26:12,899
So they have the opposite of the problem

2458
01:26:12,899 --> 01:26:14,420
I have and they literally cannot keep waiting

2459
01:26:14,420 --> 01:26:15,939
on it. It's a struggle for them. And

2460
01:26:15,939 --> 01:26:17,699
I am looking at my 19 year old

2461
01:26:17,699 --> 01:26:19,539
going, you are smaller than the last fucking

2462
01:26:19,539 --> 01:26:20,864
time I saw you. And then I went

2463
01:26:20,864 --> 01:26:21,944
to, like, give him a hug, and I'm

2464
01:26:21,944 --> 01:26:23,864
like, I feel all the vertebrae in his

2465
01:26:23,864 --> 01:26:25,225
neck. And I'm like, what the fuck? He

2466
01:26:25,225 --> 01:26:25,885
goes, well,

2467
01:26:26,585 --> 01:26:27,324
I'm like,

2468
01:26:28,024 --> 01:26:29,164
what the fuck?

2469
01:26:30,024 --> 01:26:31,484
That is what I said to him.

2470
01:26:31,864 --> 01:26:33,850
He's like, well, I eat dinner. He's like,

2471
01:26:33,850 --> 01:26:36,090
and I make breakfast or I try to

2472
01:26:36,090 --> 01:26:37,770
make breakfast. He's like, it's the middle of

2473
01:26:37,770 --> 01:26:39,550
the day meals. I'm not

2474
01:26:40,010 --> 01:26:43,229
and, you know, there's some legitimate reasons. Some

2475
01:26:43,689 --> 01:26:44,430
are like

2476
01:26:45,210 --> 01:26:46,029
a teenager's

2477
01:26:46,645 --> 01:26:49,284
sort of justification for shit. He's also a

2478
01:26:49,284 --> 01:26:51,444
broke college student. So I was like, okay.

2479
01:26:51,444 --> 01:26:53,125
Well, let's go to the grocery store. Let

2480
01:26:53,125 --> 01:26:54,885
me talk you through some simple ways to,

2481
01:26:54,885 --> 01:26:56,564
like that I think you might be willing

2482
01:26:56,564 --> 01:26:57,524
to do. And then I was like, don't

2483
01:26:57,524 --> 01:26:59,619
worry. I will send you written instructions later.

2484
01:26:59,619 --> 01:27:01,619
Mhmm. And then I'm on the phone with

2485
01:27:01,619 --> 01:27:03,860
my mom, his grandma, and she's like, well,

2486
01:27:03,860 --> 01:27:05,300
I want him to I'm talking to her

2487
01:27:05,300 --> 01:27:06,739
like, I really wish he would eat more.

2488
01:27:06,739 --> 01:27:07,860
He needs to eat more. I need to

2489
01:27:07,860 --> 01:27:09,300
make sure he's got groceries. And she's like,

2490
01:27:09,300 --> 01:27:10,920
I want him to eat more too.

2491
01:27:11,300 --> 01:27:12,715
She goes, well, what does he what does

2492
01:27:12,715 --> 01:27:14,234
he do? I'm like, well, he loves to

2493
01:27:14,234 --> 01:27:16,654
go to Wawa. Loves him some fucking Wawa.

2494
01:27:16,954 --> 01:27:19,755
It's also convenient to the music building. Like,

2495
01:27:19,755 --> 01:27:21,675
there's one, like, a couple blocks down or

2496
01:27:21,675 --> 01:27:22,175
whatever.

2497
01:27:22,715 --> 01:27:24,154
So she is now on a mission to

2498
01:27:24,154 --> 01:27:26,335
just send him Wawa gift cards.

2499
01:27:26,840 --> 01:27:28,439
She was like, tell him he's supposed to

2500
01:27:28,439 --> 01:27:31,079
eat with these. He rides a a bike

2501
01:27:31,159 --> 01:27:33,479
not a bike, but a motorcycle, but a

2502
01:27:33,479 --> 01:27:35,079
little one. So we don't really need it

2503
01:27:35,079 --> 01:27:36,859
for gas. Gas is like $3,

2504
01:27:37,159 --> 01:27:39,000
and it lasts him like 2 or 3

2505
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:41,265
weeks. Yeah. So it is food. And she's

2506
01:27:41,265 --> 01:27:42,864
like, you tell him to eat. Yes, ma'am.

2507
01:27:42,864 --> 01:27:44,704
I'll tell him to eat. I'll tell him

2508
01:27:44,704 --> 01:27:46,645
to eat. I'll tell him to eat.

2509
01:27:47,345 --> 01:27:48,405
I'll tell him to eat.

2510
01:27:49,104 --> 01:27:50,164
So, yeah.

2511
01:27:51,185 --> 01:27:54,170
So, yeah. That's been our our week so

2512
01:27:54,630 --> 01:27:56,229
far. And in the middle of it, we

2513
01:27:56,229 --> 01:27:58,550
got cutting boards up on your shop. Yep.

2514
01:27:58,550 --> 01:28:01,109
We're launching a product and a sale for

2515
01:28:01,109 --> 01:28:03,670
the Kinkery. Mhmm. Email folk will hear about

2516
01:28:03,670 --> 01:28:05,430
it on Thursday. Everybody else will get to

2517
01:28:05,430 --> 01:28:06,954
hear about it on Friday. And I made

2518
01:28:06,954 --> 01:28:09,594
a coloring book, and I neglected my vanilla

2519
01:28:09,594 --> 01:28:11,295
Etsy shop, but I got plans for

2520
01:28:12,154 --> 01:28:14,654
that. Oh, but have I researched the curriculum

2521
01:28:14,715 --> 01:28:15,534
for the youngest

2522
01:28:15,994 --> 01:28:17,914
school? And I had wanted him to start

2523
01:28:17,914 --> 01:28:20,349
next Tuesday. No. I have not. I I

2524
01:28:20,349 --> 01:28:22,989
I think I think I've I've I firmly

2525
01:28:22,989 --> 01:28:24,829
believe that there's a little bit of a

2526
01:28:24,829 --> 01:28:25,969
mental block there

2527
01:28:26,429 --> 01:28:28,529
after the, scarring from

2528
01:28:29,309 --> 01:28:31,789
crushed tears almost feeling I will not be

2529
01:28:31,789 --> 01:28:33,904
full on snarky like I was just thinking.

2530
01:28:33,904 --> 01:28:36,225
I agree with you there. Also, I've worked

2531
01:28:36,225 --> 01:28:38,145
17 days in a row. I know. 8

2532
01:28:38,145 --> 01:28:40,885
to 10 hour days without a break. So

2533
01:28:40,944 --> 01:28:42,784
I'm gonna have to make the time. You

2534
01:28:42,784 --> 01:28:44,885
you you you you have been

2535
01:28:46,625 --> 01:28:49,340
I've been. You've you've been. It's it's been

2536
01:28:49,500 --> 01:28:50,399
yeah. Yeah.

2537
01:28:53,420 --> 01:28:54,779
Yep. The we got a question in live

2538
01:28:54,779 --> 01:28:56,300
chat. Does the school have a free coaching

2539
01:28:56,300 --> 01:28:58,779
counseling program? They also help with practical solutions.

2540
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:01,520
They have a pretty good for is for

2541
01:29:02,895 --> 01:29:05,375
they have specifically a good, like, group office

2542
01:29:05,375 --> 01:29:06,354
thing for neurodivergent

2543
01:29:06,895 --> 01:29:07,395
students.

2544
01:29:09,054 --> 01:29:09,554
Getting

2545
01:29:10,654 --> 01:29:12,434
the oldest to do

2546
01:29:12,974 --> 01:29:14,434
it would probably be a different

2547
01:29:15,229 --> 01:29:17,069
a different experience. But I could probably look

2548
01:29:17,069 --> 01:29:18,670
into it and see if I can send

2549
01:29:18,670 --> 01:29:19,729
him some information.

2550
01:29:21,789 --> 01:29:24,029
He's he's mostly do it like, his bills

2551
01:29:24,029 --> 01:29:25,550
are paid. He's, like, he's got everything on

2552
01:29:25,550 --> 01:29:27,229
how to pay his grades. They just started

2553
01:29:27,229 --> 01:29:28,989
school, so he's, like, they're barely into it.

2554
01:29:28,989 --> 01:29:30,284
But, like, he took summer courses and his

2555
01:29:30,284 --> 01:29:32,445
grades are fine, and he's handling the schoolwork

2556
01:29:32,445 --> 01:29:33,265
and the responsibility.

2557
01:29:33,645 --> 01:29:34,625
Mhmm. But he

2558
01:29:35,164 --> 01:29:35,664
I

2559
01:29:36,364 --> 01:29:38,064
am the whatever my neurodivergence

2560
01:29:38,445 --> 01:29:39,104
is of

2561
01:29:39,885 --> 01:29:41,885
food is my dopamine rush, so I've never

2562
01:29:41,885 --> 01:29:43,619
forgotten a meal in my fucking life.

2563
01:29:44,239 --> 01:29:46,100
He is that brand of ADHD

2564
01:29:46,400 --> 01:29:47,380
where it's like,

2565
01:29:47,760 --> 01:29:50,239
oh He'll he'll forget to eat? He'll forget.

2566
01:29:50,239 --> 01:29:52,640
Yeah. And and he won't realize until he's,

2567
01:29:52,640 --> 01:29:54,479
like, at the end. So it's like and

2568
01:29:54,479 --> 01:29:57,524
he we never realized that truly about him

2569
01:29:57,524 --> 01:29:59,925
because he was at home, and I could

2570
01:29:59,925 --> 01:30:01,765
keep him fed or, like Right. He had

2571
01:30:01,765 --> 01:30:03,844
a very solid routine, so he was always

2572
01:30:03,844 --> 01:30:06,324
eating breakfast a certain time. And and this

2573
01:30:06,324 --> 01:30:08,564
past year, he's just he struggled with it.

2574
01:30:08,564 --> 01:30:09,385
So Yeah.

2575
01:30:10,244 --> 01:30:11,729
Yep. Just gotta get him fed.

2576
01:30:13,170 --> 01:30:15,329
He has in high school, he used to

2577
01:30:15,329 --> 01:30:17,569
be like, oh, leftovers. He hated leftover night

2578
01:30:17,569 --> 01:30:19,489
in this house, and I'm like, look. Yep.

2579
01:30:19,489 --> 01:30:19,729
We

2580
01:30:20,529 --> 01:30:22,930
we're not made of money or food. We're

2581
01:30:22,930 --> 01:30:24,789
eating leftovers in this fucking house.

2582
01:30:25,695 --> 01:30:27,215
And he would turn his nose up. He'd

2583
01:30:27,215 --> 01:30:28,655
make a sandwich, anything that he did not

2584
01:30:28,655 --> 01:30:30,574
wanna eat leftovers. And now I'm like, so

2585
01:30:30,574 --> 01:30:32,675
how do you feel about leftovers now?

2586
01:30:33,534 --> 01:30:34,034
He

2587
01:30:34,414 --> 01:30:36,655
Start the the attitude is slowly starting to,

2588
01:30:36,814 --> 01:30:39,439
change. Yeah. Tell me how ordered Chipotle, and

2589
01:30:39,439 --> 01:30:40,880
they somehow made it I know that they

2590
01:30:40,880 --> 01:30:42,400
don't usually they made it real big for

2591
01:30:42,400 --> 01:30:44,000
him this time. He's like, I couldn't eat

2592
01:30:44,000 --> 01:30:45,920
it all, so I just saved the other

2593
01:30:45,920 --> 01:30:47,520
half, and I ate it the next day.

2594
01:30:47,520 --> 01:30:48,180
I'm like,

2595
01:30:48,880 --> 01:30:50,820
who the fuck? That's how leftovers

2596
01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:51,780
work.

2597
01:30:53,614 --> 01:30:56,354
It's almost like somebody told you about that.

2598
01:30:56,414 --> 01:30:58,354
Right. Right. Glad you discovered,

2599
01:30:58,655 --> 01:30:59,715
much like Columbus,

2600
01:31:00,335 --> 01:31:02,835
was discovering things. I'm glad you discovered leftovers

2601
01:31:02,975 --> 01:31:03,715
there, dude.

2602
01:31:04,735 --> 01:31:06,435
Anyway, I love that boy.

2603
01:31:07,920 --> 01:31:08,400
So

2604
01:31:08,880 --> 01:31:09,860
yeah. We're just

2605
01:31:11,360 --> 01:31:13,060
we're 2 wild and crazy guys.

2606
01:31:15,680 --> 01:31:18,079
That's all I got. Yeah. I mean, is

2607
01:31:18,239 --> 01:31:20,880
can I keep rambling and, like, lullabying? Of

2608
01:31:20,880 --> 01:31:21,860
course. I guess.

2609
01:31:24,215 --> 01:31:26,694
You know, he says that. And yet, when

2610
01:31:26,694 --> 01:31:28,534
I get super quiet and not because I'm,

2611
01:31:28,534 --> 01:31:29,974
like, super focused on something, but, like, I

2612
01:31:29,974 --> 01:31:31,574
just get really quiet Are you okay? Is

2613
01:31:31,574 --> 01:31:33,895
something wrong? What what what's the matter? If

2614
01:31:33,895 --> 01:31:36,295
you want to know what my either mental

2615
01:31:36,295 --> 01:31:37,755
or physical state is

2616
01:31:38,270 --> 01:31:39,969
when I'm talking up a storm.

2617
01:31:40,750 --> 01:31:41,489
Pretty good.

2618
01:31:41,789 --> 01:31:43,869
Even if I'm ranting and pissed Yeah. When

2619
01:31:43,869 --> 01:31:44,930
I get real quiet

2620
01:31:46,189 --> 01:31:48,770
Look out. It's bad. It's so bad.

2621
01:31:50,270 --> 01:31:51,250
It's so bad.

2622
01:31:51,630 --> 01:31:53,250
True. True. True. True. True.

2623
01:31:53,994 --> 01:31:56,475
So anyway Mhmm. I guess we should go

2624
01:31:56,475 --> 01:31:57,375
now. Yeah.

2625
01:31:58,154 --> 01:31:58,654
Yep.

2626
01:32:00,395 --> 01:32:01,854
Yeah. Yeah. The wooddom.com

2627
01:32:02,395 --> 01:32:04,154
or use the link in the places to

2628
01:32:04,154 --> 01:32:05,914
JB's Etsy shop. Mhmm. Thank you to us

2629
01:32:05,914 --> 01:32:06,869
for sponsoring us.

2630
01:32:10,869 --> 01:32:13,449
Okay. We're gonna go now. Okay. Bye.