You're listening to the loving BDSM podcast, episode
409,
Kail Awards with the one, the only, the
h o t t o g o, hot
to go John Brownstone. Oh my god.
If you all wanna know what we were
singing before we hit record,
there it
is.
I started listening to Chapel Rowan's music and
fell in love and thought it was just
my own little thing. And then JB comes
in one day
from work, and he's like, oh, the Spotify
AI g j,
has been recommending some music me and come
to find out, he is now a Chapel
Rohn stand too. So
we'll just, like, randomly sing lyrics. So
Yep.
So I
I love that I shocked you so good.
So here's a little bit of, like,
fortune telling for you, time travel. So in
the Monday episode that we recorded before we
recorded this,
I could not my brain
was not wording yet, and I couldn't find
anything, like, cute or funny to say. And
so I just had to go with something
basic. And it was good, but it was
still basic. You know, telling your your dom
you love them, I don't think is a
bad thing. But
it wasn't it wasn't that. So now I'm
very proud of myself, but also to be
you only have yourself to blame. I know.
That's true. Because I'm I'm the one who
started it. You did. I did. You did.
I did.
That's not what we're here for.
I mean, I am here for JV singing
Chapel Rhone lyrics to me. But, what we're
here for this week is to answer,
kinky questions that we received over at that
fucking handle I fucking hate that I will
hate for fucking ever on Instagram.
Yeah.
See, you need to, you know, Buddha. Okay?
JB has a shirt. Let that shit go.
JB's shirt says you need to let that
shit go.
Supposedly said by Buddha.
Frankly, I'm pretty sure the Buddha said something
like it, but maybe not maybe not in
those terms. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That's that's that's neither here nor there. No?
We're gonna move forward. Okay.
Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this
is your first time listening, glad to have
you. And, yeah, it's like this every week.
If you're back for another week, welcome back.
Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday for
your kinky pleasure and education, and show notes
are found at loving BDSM.net.
Come back often and feel free to add
the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You
can also follow the show on FetLife at
loving BDSM PC
on Instagram and threads at that handle that
I will forever fucking hate. I get angry
every time I have to think of it.
It's loving
d s and the number one. So it's
at loving d s one.
And yes, I hate it. Or on YouTube
at youtube.com/loving
BDSM, where you can watch us live share
the podcast every Wednesday.
All links are in the show notes. I
am going off script for the rest of
this intro.
Normally, I'm like, join our Patreon.
This time, I'll be like, hey. As of,
like, right now when this episode comes out
through
Monday, September second, which is the American
US,
Labor Day holiday. Thekinkery, thekinkery.com
is having a sale.
The code is Labor Day 24.
You save 15% off your purchase at thekangry.com.
And and because we couldn't stand anymore and
we didn't wanna wait anymore, we released our
Halloween
diabolical
sticks. Mhmm. They are so adorable.
And they went really fast last year. So
if you didn't get your hands on them
last year and you heard about them and
you're curious, now is the time. Mhmm. Link
link is in the show notes. It's the
kinkery.com.
Labor Day 24. If you follow us on
social up for the for the kinkery, we
will be talking about it. I'm just letting
you know. Thekinkery.com.
Okay. Before
we get into
the questions Mhmm. I was like, what are
words? Y'all, it's it's it's been a long
day. It's been a long
two and a half
weeks.
Technically, one big announcement, and we worked really
hard to get here, but also a little
mini announcement.
And podcast listeners who are hearing this on
Friday,
we already screamed this in your ear a
few minutes ago.
YouTube
folk, this does not apply
until
Thursday
evening,
but the kinkery is about to have a
sale. Thekinkery.com.
It's linked below. It's a Labor Day sale
because the US is gonna celebrate Labor Day.
That'll be next Monday. We're doing a little
sale. We're bringing back a Halloween item that
we did last year, more of them this
time.
So that's happening. And I'm if you are
on our email list for
the kinkery,
thekinkery.com,
you'll get this information if you follow us
on social media at thekinkery. You'll get this
information. But I wanted to, like, slip it
in here to let folks know what's happening.
But the big one, the one where I
laid I,
me, the supposed submissive,
laid down the law with JB. Oh, and
said, if we are sponsoring we again this
week,
you gotta do something. And he did. I
did. So the we that is because I
do what I do. Sometimes. The we that
is sponsoring us is JB's very vanilla,
wood,
us is JB's very vanilla woodturning shop on
Etsy, where he makes things out of wood
that are not kinky.
But he let me name it, and it
is the wood dom. Link is in
the places. But the reason
I said if you want us to sponsor
us this week and it be vanilla,
all these damn cutting boards you have made
all this time have to be ready to
go and up on the shop. And guess
what we did today? We got them on
the shop. Yep. Yep. And so we he
now has cutting boards. He also has bowls.
You have pins.
I am forgetting things even though I am
the one who's in charge of your Etsy
shop. Bottle bottle toppers. All kinds of stuff.
Custom custom order requests if there's something you're
looking for. Definitely do custom orders. But, yeah,
the cut very excited about the cutters of
bookings.
Mostly because I'm looking at them over there,
and I'm hoping at some point there are
less of them. And they can we can
have space in this in this office, in
this area. So The Wood Dom on Etsy,
free shipping,
for US folk for,
the cutting boards because they are over that
minimum $35.
Are we going to ship them to you
the cheapest we can? Of course, we are.
But you ain't gotta pay for it. Okay.
So, yeah, the wood dom. The wood dom.
Mhmm. Technically, you can go to the wood
dom.com, and it'll take you to the Etsy
shop too. Right? Yes. So there you go.
Yeah. We didn't know
when JB started his vanilla shop on Etsy,
and actually it was a website before. It
was an Etsy shop. We've gone back and
forth with this for years now. We didn't
know he would one day have
a kink shop. No.
So I wanted he had his reason for
wanting for liking the name. I wanted it
to be the wood dom because I wanted
a nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Yeah.
Because who is in charge of the wood?
That would be JB, Justin.
Any Anyhoo, there is a there there is
a little bit of a story behind the
name.
I'm not gonna go into it right now.
Probably
a good thing for a, the Friday night
hangout at some point. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
And maybe maybe one of these Friday night
hangouts, you can do a Vanilla Show and
Tell. Yeah. Because we're we have slowly gotten
better at the picture taking.
But if you go shopping his shop, you
will you will be able to tell when
we didn't know what we were doing. Yeah.
And we are slowly fixing it. But we
use our y'all, we use our iPhones to
take pictures of products these days. And I
have a very simple editing thing, and that's
how to to admit it. The the the
poor pictures were on me. Well, and that
well, I've had my share of not so
great pictures.
Etsy now has a tool that will tell
you, hey, you could be doing better if
and then you click the button and it'll
tell you. And I clicked it today, and
it was like, you have a few listings
with poor photo
image quality. And I was like, I know.
I'll get to it. I'll get to it.
Anyway I know. Told me that too when
I went there.
Yeah. Thanks, Etsy. Okay. That was the announcement.
Now we're gonna answer questions we received from
Instagram. Thank you to everybody who submitted your
questions. We got so many. We literally cannot
answer them all. So some of the ones
that we skip over
will either be, like, a q and a
episode
later, or you might see it in another
form elsewhere.
Any legitimate questions, because sometimes there are people
who think they are funny, and those are
not legitimate questions. But legitimate questions, we will
try to answer. Mhmm. So here we go.
Alright. What's a good punishment for a brat
who doesn't obey?
I had to ask it because we got
a daddy dom right here. I'm not a
brat,
but what would you do? What would I
do for for a brat that doesn't obey?
You
know, I think what I would do Mhmm.
I would find their favoritest thing. Mhmm. Mhmm.
K?
And
no.
No. You can't have that.
Also, sometimes and every brat is different, and
part of it is you gotta have a
conversation with said brat to figure out how
they tick and what they would consider punishment
or not. Mhmm. And they also have to
try to not be in the brat mindset
when they do it. This needs to be
the serious negotiation part. But,
some brats
brat to get the punishment, and JB has
done this to me. And I wasn't even
look. I wasn't bratting, but I was a
smart ass like a dumbass. I was a
dumbass who
who smart ass too close to the sun.
And so
the punishment was I didn't get the thing
that I was clearly going for. So I
didn't get the spanking. I didn't get the
this. I didn't get the that. Now how
you figure out in general what are good
punishments, it is about knowing the other person
and,
what will impact them enough to feel like
a punishment that they will consent to. Mhmm.
Because you can't just be doing anything willy
nilly to somebody, call it a punishment.
If if that's a violate that if that
would be a violation of their consent, then
it's
we're we're not on punishment anymore. We're on,
like, illegal actions. Let's stop that.
And the thing is is, you know, we
get questions about punishments,
mostly punishments, but some about rewards Mhmm. All
the time. By the way, we'll have a
little thing coming soon ish in the next
few weeks about that. I'm just saying.
But, you know, the thing about punishment is
you can't just think up a punishment
as the big d type on your own.
Never have a conversation with your submissive about
it. And just when they do something wrong,
just throw it out there. Like, it is
part of the negotiation
like every other part of your power exchange.
So
the simple answer is, yeah. What's their favorite
thing? They can't do it. What were they
trying to accomplish by bratting if were they
trying to get their a certain reaction from
you? Were they trying to get a certain
physical activity from you? Then they don't get
it. That's the punishment
is they don't get the thing that the
bratting was supposed to accomplish Right. For the
brats that that will work on.
Mhmm. Which is what makes punishment so complicated.
They are so personal. Yeah. I mean, couple
times too, I've left out your, favorite paddle
sitting on the bed. Yep.
And what happened?
Nothing. Not a damn thing. Not a damn
thing. I know. I looked at it, and
I was like, and I got excited. Right.
And I know I knew enough then not
to, like,
go, oh, I see what you did. But,
like, I internally got excited. I'm like, okay.
Mhmm. Mhmm. And then we moved around that
whole bedroom.
Because part of it is the way our
dynamic works is I'm not gonna say anything.
You put the thing out there. I just
wait for it to be used. And I
I my personality, I know this will shock
you, but my personality as a submissive in
the moment, I'm not really saying anything. I'm
just waiting for it to happen. And
I don't wanna say anything because I don't
wanna know too much. That's part of the
lack of control that I like. Yeah.
And we went about our whole ass business
and it just sat there.
And it was
And then it got put away. Right. And
that was when I went, what the hell?
What the hell?
Okay.
Next
question.
Okay. Let's see.
How should I ask my Dom about seeing
him seriously as a romantic partner? Which makes
me think that maybe they're just play partners
or it's a platonic thing or it's casual
at best. Now they want it to be
something more serious and romantic.
That's tough.
That's tough. Because you cannot make someone
feel something for somebody.
You know? It's,
I guess, in a way, it'd be nice
if you could, you know.
But I think people would use that power
for evil instead of good. Right.
I mean, you know, I I think the
best thing you can do is is talk
to them. Well, yeah. You have to. You
know, you you you have to you have
to talk to them and and let them
know, you know, that you're you're
you are developing feels and you want more.
And I think before you talk to them,
one, you have to decide
what you think you will feel because you
won't know what you feel until you're in
the moment. But how you think you'll handle
it if they do not reciprocate. Right? Like,
are you able to continue
as things have been? Are you comfortable with
that? Is that what you want? Are you
willing to
if they reject this idea? And you also
have to be prepared that they may reject
the idea
enough that,
you know, maybe they don't want to continue
forever. But the the the way things were
and keep that going. So it's a tricky
one. I,
yeah, I'm here for just clear blunt ass
communication,
but,
you know, I I can I think it's
still a delicate situation? I think sometimes we
get wrapped up in our own heads about
it, and we're we're worried that they're not
on the same page as us. And so
it's gonna be awkward, and then you have
the conversation, and they are on the same
page. Mhmm. And sometimes it, you know, it
just goes sideways. And before you have that
conversation, I think
regardless
of how you get to that point, you're
ready to have that conversation.
I think you have to have
a real be really clear
to yourself
how you will handle and be
as prepared as it is possible to be
when you are dealing with hypotheticals
for,
you know, is it so good that the
end of this casual thing or this non
romantic thing
would be very disappointing and you might be
heartbroken and this would really suck?
Or
is it like, I can't I can't even
see myself moving forward with this or doing
if we can't go to the next step?
Mhmm. And sometimes at the end of it,
you might still get your heart broken
and heartbreak fucking sucks.
But I would rather be done with a
person who is not right for me and
deal with the pain of the heartbreak and
then be free to go find the person
who is right for me. So it's it's
delicate. It's complicated.
It you know? But, yeah, you have to
have you just have to have the conversation.
Mhmm.
I think typical
what we would consider typical communication
kind of best practices apply here. So you
don't spring it on them when it's in
a busy moment. You literally say, hey. There's
some things I'd like to talk about. Mhmm.
Can we set aside a time? Can we
meet? Can we get a coffee? Can we
call? Like, however you normally communicate. Right? And
and plan the time
so that they are they are focused on
you and you can have this conversation.
You also have to be prepared for them
to need time to go away and think
about it. If they're not sure of what
they wanna do,
you know, you gotta give them that time
and and let them come back to you.
Right.
But but yeah. I mean,
sometimes it's
just take the leap.
Mhmm. If Yeah. If the way things are
going, you just
it's
unsustainable to you because you really wanna go
to the next level, then
just do it. If you're kind of happy
where you're at and it's you're like, no.
No. I'm I'm not this this can go
longer.
Maybe feel them out. Maybe
I like to do the ask hypothetical questions.
What if we
imagine something you think y'all would do as
a romantic couple? Right?
Could you imagine if we ever fill in
the blank and their response will sometimes be
all the information you need about whether to
actually tell them outright. Yeah.
Okay.
How can I find the deepest kinks of
my partner?
The deepest kinks.
You know what? Sit down and do a
checklist.
Yeah. We have one for free if you
subscribe to our newsletter, but you can also
literally Google BDSM checklist. They will come up.
I I think that's the best way to,
you know, find out a lot of things,
you know, or even even bring it up
in in a conversation. You know,
what do what do you think about such
and such, you know? Right. Also,
define for yourself what you think deepest kinks
mean. Mhmm. Are they the kinks that are
the kind of stuff they're not ready to
admit to themselves? Is that what you think?
If you think your partner has those kinds
of kinks, are they kinks that they hint
at, but they are not ready to
move forward in a conversation with?
Do you just believe that there must be
more than what they're telling you? You know,
some of that's a time thing. I
deepest kinks is a little
there's a reason I I put this
in here. It's a it's a little
I know I can't think of the words
I want to describe it, but, basically,
if I could find other words to describe
what I mean.
It's like supposing
it's assuming that what your partner is telling
you are their kinks, that there's something else
underlying or that these kinks are okay kinks,
but somewhere inside of them are better, more
meaningful kinks.
And maybe that's true,
but maybe
they know what they like today. They know
what they're into. They're interested in. They're willing
to do.
And
they might, over time,
discover that there are other things they're into,
but they can't discover them until they explore
what they're into right now. And that does
not invalidate finding new kinks down the road
does not invalidate the early day kinks that
maybe air quotes seem easier
from your perspective or less intense
or like, my first thing is before you
can find out what their, quote, deepest things
are, what do you mean by that? What
are you searching for? Are you looking for
the secret stuff that most people won't admit
to somebody else yet? Well, that is time,
trust,
honesty, integrity. Mhmm. You gotta build a relationship.
So it's gotta be real, real comfortable with
you to tell. Sometimes their deepest, darkest ones
that they're afraid they might be rejected for
or they feel are too taboo, and they're
not ready to. And and there there is
something that you want to go be careful
about because what you don't wanna do is,
you know, if you do get them to
open up about, you know, something that like
that, you know,
don't be
do not be judgmental.
Right. Okay? Do not react in a judgmental
way. Mhmm. Exactly. So, yeah, think about what
you mean by deepest kinks. Mhmm. And if
you're thinking, oh, well, they're doing these basic
things, but I'm sure there's something else. Mhmm.
You might be right that there will be
something else, but that's not really for you
to pull out of them. That is for
them
to develop enough trust with you and willingness
and safety to be vulnerable with you, to
let that out
when they're ready, when they figure it out.
Right? There are things that were real easy
for me to be like, heck yeah. I
can I'm I'm down for spanking. I'm down
for submission. Let's do this thing. And then
other things I had to come to gradually
over time as I got more comfortable to
even go, oh, yeah. I'm kinda turned on
by that. Or, oh, yeah. I'm kind of
intrigued by that. And then
I could only tell a partner that if
we had developed the relationship where I knew
I was safe to do that. Yeah.
So, yeah, that's what I would say is,
do some deep thinking about what you think
deepest means. And then if you wanna know
what their internal world is, you gotta earn
their trust and and really earn their trust,
not Oh, yeah. Not do that fake shit
that some people do of, I'm gonna say
all the right things so they'll tell me
anything, but I don't actually like like, be
legit
and fucking earn it. Earn that information from
them. Oh, yeah. That's what that is.
Okay.
Alright. How
do you deal with a dom who has
a different love language from you?
Oh, I had thoughts. So if you feel
go ahead, please, because I know I suck
up all the oxygen. No. I'm no. I
go ahead because I need to think about
that one from you. I thought so. Because
here's the thing. Here's my first of all,
love languages, we've done episodes on love languages
in the past, the deep, deep past.
They are inherently flawed because,
like, a lot of personality things, they can't
cover everything.
But
in general, the way a love language works
is
it's meant to be when you know your
partner's love language, that is then how
they
want to receive
love and affection and attention from you.
So you can have different love languages. But
if you're gonna follow the love languages
model,
which is imperfect, like super imperfect, but it's
there, whatever,
Then knowing each other's love language is important
as long as you're willing to act on
what their love language is. If they respond
more to,
attention, I think it is Mhmm. But that's
not your love language. Quality time. Quality time.
Mhmm. Then you have to decide for yourself,
are you willing to give them the thing
that
speaks to them, that feels like love to
them? Does it matter if you're different as
long as you're willing to do things that
you wouldn't necessarily want for yourself Right. But
that they want. Now the flaw in the
love languages, there's many flaws. But one of
the flaws is that,
recently I watched a video on this where
the person was saying, essentially,
those five classifications of love languages,
with exceptions because there's no universal,
nearly every human
responds at different points in life from different
people to all of those love languages. Right?
So we, you know, we can rank them
all day long, but
there are times I want quality time or
I want physical touch, and I'm not really
a physical touch kinda person. Right? There's times
I want acts of service even though as
a submissive, I tend to get deeply uncomfortable
with acts of service
provided to me. Right?
So, you know, take the love languages thing
with a grain of salt. But if you
are gonna follow it as a model for
how you interact in your relationship,
it does not matter that you have different
love languages. Are you willing to do what
they're
saying their love languages and that would be
meaningful to them? Are they willing to give
you the kind of
whatever it is your love language is that
speaks to you? That's the if you're gonna
follow it, that's what that means.
Knowing them doesn't mean shit if then the
partner you have
goes, well, I'm gonna do what I wanna
do. I don't care what your love language
is.
So that that's what I think on that.
I've been thinking about this ever since I
saw that one. Come in. Nope. I'm good.
I'm gonna defer to you on this one.
Oh, okay. Okay? Thanks. You you you you
did fine.
Okay. Thanks.
Okay.
Okay. Let's go to some more here. K.
I think this one is a a more
simplistic answer than they realize. I wonder if
you will have that immediate thought that I
had.
How to negotiate with an avoidant dominant dominant
partner?
I don't feel safe,
but he avoids accountability.
The answer was in the last sentence, but
go ahead. Go ahead. Please say it.
Run.
Uh-huh.
I'm sorry. I do not trust us, not
nary a person who calls himself a dominant
if they can't be held accountable. That's right.
They can't admit wrongdoing, if they can't say
they're sorry, if they can't change their behaviors,
if they can't do the things that they
say they're gonna do, if they can't earn
trust and maintain trust and nope. Yep. Yeah.
No. That's no.
If if someone is unable
to have accountability
Or be held accountable. Or or be held
accountable. Yeah.
You know,
let's face it. That that can be a
very dangerous thing Yeah. In in the things
that we do.
Okay?
So yeah. That's easy. Run. So I'm not
as we did an episode on avoidant and
a cup those other
it's one of those things we did the
episode. The information went into my brain. I
said what I had to say. The information
is now gone from my brain, so I
don't remember as much. But the thing my
my
basic memories and limited understanding of the avoidant
and the
anxious and the blah blah blah.
We can all be
some version of that and sometimes combinations of
that and all that.
And those can be truths about who we
are. Like, our our instinct maybe is to
be avoidant. Our instinct is to be an
anxiously attached partner.
But it's
what are you willing to do to work
through that to the best of your ability?
Sometimes you need therapy for that. Sometimes it's
like outside stuff you gotta work through shit.
But
when you want to call yourself,
in this case, we're talking power exchange, the
dominant partner who is in control and takes
control and has power and has authority and
whatever whatever whatever that you're granting as a
submissive.
And
they refuse
to do anything about the fact that they
are avoidant and their avoidance is making them
a bad dom, then it's not about them
being avoidant.
I mean, it is, but it isn't. It's
about being a bad dom, a dangerous person,
somebody who is not safe to play with.
And for you to say, I don't feel
safe, that is all that you need.
Sometimes
it's somebody not feeling safe if there's miscommunication
somewhere. But sometimes it is your intuition screaming
at you.
Just
just listen to that voice.
Very every once in a while, you'll look
back on it and go, well, maybe I
wasn't really unsafe in the moment. I know
more now. But it don't matter. In this
moment, you feel unsafe,
that's information. Use it. Yeah.
Use it. Mhmm.
Okay.
Next one. Alright.
We have definitely answered this one before, but
I know it comes up from time to
time, so we'll do it again. Any suggestions
for incorporating power exchange into a relationship when
out in public?
Yes.
All kinds of things. All kinds of yeah.
I mean, we we do that. We and
have been doing that. Because sometimes that's the
only way we can express our power exchanges
in ways nobody can clog. Exactly.
You know, one of the, one of the
things is,
even though
Kayla is the submissive in the relationship,
when we go out, she's not allowed to
touch, door handles. Right. You're holding the door
for me.
See, we're it's cis heteronormative
appearing. Mhmm. So all of the little old
ladies think that is just the sweetest thing,
and yet it would probably they would not
think it was so sweet if
roles are reversed or if it did not
look so, air quote, normal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Mhmm. No.
She she always when we're out, we she
walks on my right side.
There was a time period, I think it
was deep in pandemic days. Like, we weren't
hold up in the house anymore, but we
didn't linger anywhere that we went.
I remember walking through a Starbucks parking lot,
and we things had gotten way off between
us. There's a deep disconnect. Yep. And I
was
I was willing to walk on the side
that I'm supposed to walk on, but somebody
was making it difficult,
maybe on purpose, maybe not. I was whining
about it. I was hopping and puffing.
Next thing I know, I in the parking
lot, y'all. I feel a hand in my
hair, and I get yanked over to the
correct
side.
So if you think
walking in a specific,
like, location
in comparison to your partner can't be power
exchange, well, talk to me when you get
yanked back into position by your damn hair
in a parking lot,
It was empty. JB is aware of his
surroundings. It was fine. Yeah.
You know, I am your coffee slut. So
when we used to go out to eat,
like, for breakfast and stuff, if you order
a coffee Mhmm. I put the cream and
sugar in. Now does it confuse servers? Yes.
We don't give a fuck because it's not
it's not anything that is,
like, a consent violation. It's just a person
making their coffee. Right? Right. But,
so it's little things. And to do this,
if if it's a part of your, like,
power exchange and it's not outward kinks like
being walked on a leash Yeah. You know,
like, the stuff that's, like, kinda noticeable and
and
you're purposely looking for something that people can't
clock Yeah. You're gonna have to think kinda
deep about what how does your power exchange
work in private?
For us, it's a I think it feels
easier. I am a service.
So if my daddy says do this thing
for me,
I'm in subby heaven. Right?
So we can find things that I, quote,
do for him Yeah.
That don't look like anything Mhmm.
When we are around family. And it's very
again, it's heteronormative.
It's southern,
like, stuff that,
you
know, the the women are serving the men.
Like, that's less common than it once was,
but it's still old school. And I I
am one of the youngest in the family,
so it's old school in my family. And
so when we're at a family gathering, the
fact that I make JB's plate for him
and bring it to him, gathering, the fact
that I make JB's plate for him and
bring it to him, everybody thinks I'm just
a good southern wife. No. I'm being a
good citizen because that's what my daddy told
me to do. Right? It's those kinds of
things. You have to think about things that
you either are already doing
or could be doing that other people would
not even they're just not even gonna notice
because it's just part of the norm for
them or it's but it's meaningful to you.
I mean, one of the one of the
other things she does is when we go
and get in the car, we'll go somewhere,
she,
gives me my sunglasses,
puts my,
you know, regular glasses away. We even have
this helps. We're very routine oriented people, so
once we do something, like, twice, we have
to do it forever.
I
get the cart quarter
out when we go to Aldi.
Yep. JB has never had to get his
own cart quarter
ever since we started going to Aldi. Also,
when he he loads up the car because
I put everything in the
cart and I load the conveyor and I
pay. That's not a submissive thing. That's a,
that's a control freak part of me because
I just bought very special way how she
loads the belt. And even though it's Aldi
and it doesn't fucking matter.
I got away. Just let me do it.
So JB unloads the cart, puts everything in
the car boner.
Yeah. But what I do
every time, unless I'm not feeling good Mhmm.
I take the cart back and go retrieve
our cart quarter. This man has almost never
had to do anything with a cart quarter
in his life.
I have made the cart quarter my bitch.
Okay? What? The cart quarter? Right. Right. Right.
Yeah. How do I how do I do
this at Aldi?
And it's it really is little things
that they just have to have meaning to
you.
Mhmm.
They are not specific to JB and Kayla
and how we are. It's like things that
we discovered that I could again, I'm a
service so this makes it a little easier.
Are there things I can do for JB
Mhmm. That just look like I'm a nice
human being and I'm a nice wife?
Okay. Are there things I can do that
just look like I'm, quote, taking my turn,
but really I'm doing it because that's an
expectation
that JB set? Yeah.
Certain control things like walking on a certain
side or, you know, never touching a door
handle, which is not it's not never. I
mean, we use common sense. If Jamie's hands
are full, I'm gonna open a door. We
would look real foolish standing at the door
and me going, I'm sorry. I can't touch
him. Right. I'm I'm sassy. I'm not bratty,
y'all. Okay?
Thin line. Thin line. That would not end
well if I tried that shit. Thin line.
So,
yeah, you just it's one of those things
that's
we can give we anybody can share ideas,
and if any resonate, feel free. Use them.
Try them. But it really is, like, kinda
pay attention to the things that you're already
doing. Can you can you give those things
meaning
and set them like, negotiate them in your
power exchange so that then they really do
have the meaning and they're officially part of
this is what we do in public.
We do not, however, have some rule that
I have to walk behind him. That would
not I mean, I do sometimes because I'm
walking slower. I used to be a fast
walker, not anymore.
And we don't have the rule that I
don't have to speak. That would not work.
No. That would just never have worked.
But some people do. Some people do. She
wouldn't. If she had to keep that all
in, she'd explode. Because what would happen is
if it was you don't speak in public
unless I gave you permission, the moment we
got to the car,
he wouldn't be able to handle it. Mm-mm.
I couldn't handle it. I got thoughts. I
got opinions. I need ear I need ear
plugs. And quite frankly, I know there are
power exchange folks who do that in in
their relationship. And Right. Your kink is not
my kink. Your kink is okay. I am
deeply uncomfortable with it as a female submissive
because of, you know, living in a misogynistic
patriarchal society where women are supposed to shut
up anyway. So you I'm not
I I don't like it when
I mean yeah.
Personally. Right. Everybody else can do what they
want.
Okay.
I'm gonna do a shameless promotion question. I
appreciate this question this person asked. Same.
Do you have any new goals slash merchandise
that you want to do for your shop?
Yes. And you know what's funny? In my
mind, we have 2 shops because we have
the Kinkery, which is, like, it's our bread
and butter. We are here for the fucking
king the kinkery.com.
But we also have our Etsy shop. Yes.
And that's the kinkery is your baby for
all that I am deeply involved and help
in it. The Etsy shop is my baby.
True. So do you have anything about the
kinkery? Because I do have a thing about
the Etsy shop, don't worry.
Okay.
You know,
sometimes I have more ideas than I have
time.
Mhmm. Okay?
Yep. But,
I I have been
and I
I been thinking
about
plugs
made with resin. Butt plugs. Yeah. Okay. Just
gonna be real clear there. That is our
clear communication.
Anal plugs. Let's just kill the the monetization.
Yeah. YouTube doesn't like us already, so we
may as well, you know, just twist the
knife.
So yeah. You're So, you know, yeah, that
that is something I've been been noodling about
doing. Mhmm. You had I know you're probably
not ready to talk about it. You had
a really cool idea
for a paddle that was based on,
a special order request that you did. We
did it the way we can do it
now. And JB's like, yeah. This is fine.
This is what they asked for, but
I know what I could do to make
it more sadistic and look even better. And
I was
like, well, I hope you could make that
happen. I just like it when your creative
juices are flowing. Yeah. Like, you know I
know. Life lives. And when the creative juices
stop flowing, it sucks because you're like you
feel stagnant. And yeah. I like it when
I mean, I like it when your juices
are flowing in general, but that's another conversation.
Anyway So,
you know, yeah, there's that and,
I'm I'm gonna be changing up the paddles
that I do, wood burning
Mhmm. On.
I I'm gonna be using a different style
of paddle, totally different from
most of any of the ones that I've
done thus far. Mhmm. You know, And,
got them ready to go. And
And now you started working on a thing
I desperately want you to to put out,
those very round, dangerous Oh,
I mean, it's all a time thing. So
I I did start on a bunch of
them. Yeah. Mhmm. But we're at a point
now you can't get me 5 give me
5 and let me call that a launch.
Like, early days of the Kinkery, if I
had 5, I would have those for 3
months. Right. These days, we don't do a
launch with less than, like No. 15 or
20 or something. And we're that's still us
being small. So, yeah, he's gotta make a
whole lot more before can And and, you
know, I I
on and off, I do,
you know, kind of one off paddles here
and there whenever I can, whenever I I
have the and and recently, I made one.
I I tickle my I I amuse myself
at the name I gave it. But go
ahead.
Basically, it it looked like a sword.
I made it to look like a sword.
And and I really liked it. It's it's
time consuming
to make. Yeah.
And it probably will never become like a
regular stock item. No. But, from time to
time, it's probably gonna Yeah. He liked it
so much he made a template for it.
That's how you know he wants to make
it again.
And so, of course, I got the practice
swats. It hurts like a motherfucker.
It's another one of those if a cane
in a paddle had a baby kinda situations.
Yeah.
And so
I like it when we have creative names.
We do not all have creative names for
all of our products. Some of the good
ones. Some of our products are just boring
old names because I'm not that smart.
But this one, I wanted it to be
clearly about a sword, but I was like,
but it needs to be about pain. And
so
instead of Excalibur,
it's Excaliburn.
Because that pain was a burning pain. I
just want you to know. And a, a
lovely kingster ordered it, and it's been sent
off to his new home. Yeah.
So anything else you wanna say about the
cankary? I think that's Okay.
That's best to you. I have a goal
for I have 2 goals for the Etsy
shop, and I started making one of them
happen literally the day before you started recording
slash streaming.
So I wanna add more workbooks.
I have one ready to go,
a workbook,
but it's being it like, it's I'm the
timing is weird because of other things going
on that will make more sense in a
couple of weeks.
But I also
wanted to do with 0 drawing capabilities out.
I wanted to
do BDSM coloring books. Now I didn't want,
like, people tied up. There are people who
make those because they're artists and they can
draw. I cannot.
I wanted to do something fun. So
I put on our Etsy shop just today
our first coloring book.
And it is gonna be one of a
series because it's
so I would say yes, daddy, and daddy
would say good girl. I did a, like,
a series of yes, sir, yes, ma'am, yes,
whatever. And then good girl, good boy. And
and it's not it's not an exhaustive list.
So I'm gonna do several of them in
this style Mhmm. So that I can get
more,
honorifics and titles and labels in there to
be as inclusive as possible.
But, yeah, that's coloring books and,
digital digital coloring works, like PDFs. You can
download and print them out, and workbooks. That's
my goal for the Etsy shop. I wanna
do more physical products, but
I have to design those, and that just
gives me, like
it just oh god. It's I stop. I
get so much resistance and friction in myself
with that, so we're doing digital products.
Okay.
Next question that is not shameless self promotion.
Best way to explain
planning a scene to someone
new. Like, someone's new, and you're trying I
get I'm gathering you're trying to explain to
them, hey. We planned scenes, and here's
like, how do I how do I tell
somebody this is not organic fucking where we
just, like, fall into each other's
bits and pieces. We're gonna plan this shit
out.
How how do you explain planning a scene
to someone new?
Wow.
Wow. How how would
you slowly.
You know, yeah. You you would I think
you would have to
be prepared for a lot of questions.
I think you come with an example of
what a scene might look like. Mhmm. And
a base I think you start with the
base going on somebody super new and they
don't have a clue. And then you kind
of backtrack it and go, okay. Here's the
scene. Let me tell you how this gets
planned out. Right? Yeah. You know, we're gonna
talk about what we're both into.
We're going to get really detailed about, oh,
this is a sensation I wanna feel. How
intense of a sensation?
How light of a sensation? With, like, will
you spanking as the example? Just my hand?
Do you wanna try a toy? Okay. We
can try a toy. You've never tried a
toy before? Not a problem. Here's how we
will test that toy. I will hit it
lightly on your leg. I will hit it
on your forearm, and I will hit your
butt. Right? Mhmm. And we will you literally
break it down step by step, and then
you're gonna talk about how it's gonna stop
if they don't like how something feels. And
is that gonna be safe words, or are
we just gonna rely on the word no?
Yeah. You know? And I think you I
think you explain it like an alien has
arrived on the planet, does not know what
this is, and you're having to, like, paint
a picture for them.
I think that is gonna be
not there's probably not a one and done
conversation. No. I have a feeling that's multiple
conversations over time.
And I think that if
if it's something that they seem to grasp
pretty quickly and they can you can now
have a back and forth conversation where they're
asking questions that make sense, and it seems
like they're grasping it, you can move
that foe quick forward a little bit more
quickly. But if they're like, I this this
is,
foreign to me, I cannot
then you're gonna break it down to really
little bitty pieces, I think. Yep. Mhmm. Yeah.
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Mhmm.
So anything else you wanna say about that?
Okay. Another shameless promotion one, but, also, you
can answer this in ways I can't. Okay?
And not just our promotion one. Okay.
What BDSM
Discord server do you enjoy?
Also, do you have any recommendations to join?
I'll do the shameless self promotion. You do,
like, what you can talk about with what
you know. Okay. Shameless self promotion. We have
a Discord server. Mhmm. You have to be
a member of our Patreon,
and and be in that part of the
community to get access to it. You can
join for as little as $2 a month.
You get a whole bunch of extra content,
extra podcast episode, extra video, extra livestream.
Plus, if you go above the $2 minimum
in each tier, you get little perks.
So,
ta da, we have a server. It's literally
the loving BDSM Discord server, but it is
only accessible when you join our Patreon. Okay.
You are a member of other kinky
Card
supporters. Well, I Or you used to be.
I used to be. Okay. I used to
be.
I I scaled way back.
Got overwhelming?
It it got to be too much,
you know, with with all the
plates I'm juggling.
Sure. I would you don't ever turn your
notifications off. I don't have a single one
on. And I would just watch the Discord
notifications just roll in on your iPad. Some
days, oh my god, I'm stressed. Now yeah.
That that was one of the one of
the things that,
you know, I I did end up doing.
1st, for any other server I was in,
I turned off notifications.
I just left it on for our server.
But,
but, yeah, it it's been a long time.
You were in.
Now the ones that you were in, did
you have to be vetted first? Did you
have to be invited? Or could you just
join these? Most of them were ones that
you had to be vetted for. And I
think that's a good practice Mhmm. Quite frankly.
Yeah.
And and, I mean, it was,
you know, point that you had to,
like,
a photo with your, driver's license. Oh, wow.
For some of them. Okay. Good for them.
You know, blackout the address to him. They
don't wanna see that, but they they wanted
to see some sort of valid Like, you're
really a person, and you're a legal adult.
Yep. And and quite frankly,
those are the kinds I would look for.
It's it's a it's not gonna be perfect
where you're gonna love that server when you
get in there. But when, yeah, when there's
a a certain responsibility taken by the people
who are, you know, overseeing that
server,
that would make me feel
a lot better. Do you happen to remember
the names of any of them? I Or
still have them in your Yeah.
One of them was the,
the duchy, but that was through a, that
that's only through a,
Subscription. Subscription. You were subscribed to the Yes.
The duchy. Yeah.
Give me a second here. No. I can
give you at least one of them.
He's getting into his Discord. The, the rest
the rest of them, I pretty much,
got rid of.
BDSM
Loft.
Okay. BDSM Loft. L o f t. Mhmm.
Okay.
That that was that was a fantastic server.
Okay.
The person who runs it does a excellent
job.
They have moderators
on the server. They have a lot of
different activities Mhmm. That they do, which is
great. And,
you know, very very friendly
folks on there.
Yeah. I remember you talking about some of
the different activities.
I feel like,
sort of a very I'm not stand
I don't know how to describe myself as
the the person with the server.
I'm not good at small talk and chitchat,
so I don't really say much until I
got something to say, which is why I'm
usually in the rant room if I've got
something say.
But I'm always kinda there kinda looking around.
I often feel guilty that we do not
new do more Yeah. In the server.
But, also,
I don't know where I would pull that
time from. And so Mhmm. But it you
know, everybody else, thankfully, is holding their own
with the conversations.
So
And,
Kim brought up,
Pink Kink.
Oh, does Pink Kink have the
okay. I didn't know Robert had a a
Discord. Okay. Is that through their
is that through any membership thing in there?
That I do not know. I would go
to the Pink Kink. Mhmm. Is it the
pink is it pinkkinkdot com or pinkkinkpodcast.com?
Google Pink Kink Podcast. They have a website.
Yep. Go learn about their Discord. Mhmm. Highly
recommend anything Rah Rah does.
Okay. I want to answer this one question,
but it's another shameless promotion when I'm gonna
answer, like, some actual,
like Oh, okay.
Some of these are, like, complicated. We need,
like, video. We need, like, video time to
answer some of these. Okay.
Here's a common one.
How to be open about my kinks to
my significant
other.
Oh. Yep.
That's tough.
That is tough.
Yeah. Because that can be a crapshoot sometimes.
I am a big fan of the hypotheticals.
Like, hypothetically,
I I heard about this thing and then
insert one of your own kinks. What do
you think about this? Think about this? Yeah.
And if they
they don't necessarily
have to be, like,
full throated acceptance,
enthusiasm,
open arms. Right? They don't have to be
that way.
As long as the the response to a
hypothetical is not pure judge judgment and disgust
Or oh, no. No. Not that way. Imagine
anything about kink. Right? Like that as long
as it's not that, you probably have
an inroad to actually just have the conversation.
You know, if it's,
yeah. You know, I've I've heard of it,
but I don't know anything about it. Right.
It it's okay if it's indifference. It's okay
if it's pure ignorance or, like, I don't
know anything about that.
That you can work with that. What you
can't work with is disgust,
disdain
Mhmm. Judgments
Yeah. Like, that kind of stuff. Because that's
the thing you're looking for with a hyphenic.
What helps too when you have those conversations
is not to say, hey, you know, I
found this thing and I I it's really
cool and I wanna try this. What do
you you know? Mhmm. I I that to
me is kind of a a
the wrong way to go about it because
that puts then pressure
on the other person. To me, the only
time you really have the space for that
is if you know where they stand on
True. Things. Y'all are already on the same
page about stuff. I mean, yeah. I would
do I would do that with you. Sure.
You know? Because we
I'm you know, I might tell you I
am not interested in that, but I'm not
gonna judge you for it. I'm not we're
not gonna break up over, like No. No.
No. Yeah. So, you know, and and I
think that's where it comes in, you know,
how you do the presentation
of,
hey. You know, I I came across this
thing. Mhmm.
And have you ever heard of this? And,
you know, it it sounds interesting, but, you
know Right. Silent makes a point in the
in the live chat, you know, that,
talking about x. X used to be in
the no no yucky camp too. Here's the
thing. There's a difference between a, oh, I
don't like that versus a, oh, why would
anybody that's an I think it's a vibe
check. Right? And quite frankly, if the vibe
you're getting from a partner you really care
about and love is
not uh-uh. No. Gross. It might just mean
it's not the time now. Right. Or that's
not the kink to start with. Right?
Y'all, JB
has been in kink for literal fucking decades.
And the first time I mentioned, do do
I think did I think did he think
he could be a daddy dong? I thought
he could be a daddy dong. What do
you think about it? He laughed his fucking
ass off. Like, I had just said, well,
I what I'd like you to actually do
is go walk on the moon tonight. He
was like like, pure, like,
what the fuck are you even talking about?
He I mean, he's a mature soul, so
he wasn't judgy about it, but he thought
it was, like, it was impossible. Impossible. But
so him laughing like that, I was like,
okay. We will not go down this road
together right now. He that's not where his
head is at.
Right?
But because everything else was still good, I
didn't think, oh, no. I can never talk
to him about this again.
And then here he is now,
total daddy dom.
There is a vibe check to it. Right?
Like, if
if you're here's the thing. If you're trying
to tell a partner about kinks and you
start with a hypothetical
and
they their reaction makes you feel
like you can't really talk to them about
it now ever or just not yet, then
that's information. You just maybe don't talk to
them about it yet.
I think depending on the type, how long
you've been together, the nature of your relationship,
how strong it is without any kink, like,
you you feel really confident in this relationship.
I think you can bring kink up in
a different way later, a few weeks, few
months, whatever whatever.
There because there are other all kinds of
ways to approach a conversation.
But if you want to test the temperature
of can I tell my partner I'm fucking
kinky,
their their immediate
reaction to a hypothetical is a lot of
information? Right. Yep.
Doesn't mean you have to break up. It
just might mean, okay, that we're not talking
about that right now. Yep.
And and you and you never know. Sometimes
too, you know, bringing that up, even if
it's,
you know,
turned away at that point Mhmm. You still
may have planted a seed. Yep. Yep. You
still may have planted a seed. I
if if you mentioning kinks does not to
a partner, does not immediately have them go,
oh my god. Yeah. I've been I've been
meaning to talk to you. Can I can
I share my own kink with you? Right?
Mhmm. If it doesn't immediately result in that,
it doesn't mean it's never gonna happen. It
just means it might be a very slow
moving ship. Right? Yeah. And then patience is
called for it, and we all know how
I feel about that word.
But it really does fucking work most of
the time, which is really annoying because I
really hate having to be patient.
So, yeah, you might plant the seed. You
might see organic opportunities later where you can
maybe bring up the kink. Now the question
you have to
decide for yourself, and you don't have to
decide right away, but you need to be
thinking about is,
is this desire for kink
important enough for me to find a partner
who wants to do this with me? Right?
And everybody's everybody's a little different about it.
I'm at a point now first of all,
JB's not going no damn where. Okay? He's
stuck.
Sorry. Sucks to be you. You're here with
it with me till the bitter fucking end.
Thelma and Louise.
But if I had to, like, go find,
like, my
my husband
again, they're gonna have to be kinky. It's
nonnegotiable.
Right?
I'm I am non monogamous in theory, not
in practice, but I need that person to
be kinky. I I don't know what flavor
of kink they need to be, but they
better be kinky. Right? Same thing. Right? Like
that's, I know that that is not gonna
work for me. Because I'm, you're either gonna
come into this kinky or I am going
to turn you. There will be kink. It
will just happen.
Other people are like, with a right partner,
yeah,
I want that, but I can
not do kink and be really happy with
this partner.
So that's the thing to decide, not just
how you think they might react, but is
this person somebody you wanna be with even
if you can never do kink with them?
And there's no right answer. No. There's no
right answer at all.
Mm-mm.
Okay. Let's see. Excuse me.
I feel like there's
there's no good answer to this one, but
we're gonna do this one and then the
last little, like it's not promotional, but like
a us question, and we're gonna be done.
Okay.
How can you tell when a man is
genuinely a real daddy dom and not just
a poser.
Ain't that the fucking question of all kink?
How can you tell if that's a real
what they say they are or not, just
a poser? You know,
that and that is something that, you know,
time will tell.
Sure. Okay.
You know, you you have to look,
for certain traits,
you know. Are they nurturing?
Do they follow through with the things that
they they say they're going to do? Mhmm.
You know? Do they actually seem to care
about you on some level? Right. It doesn't
have to be a I'm in love with
you, I'm gonna be with you forever care.
But do they care about you as a
human being? And that's a good point. You
know,
a a good
daddy dom or caregiver needs to have empathy.
Oh, yeah. Okay? Oh, yeah. You know, and
and and these
are things that you are going to see
in a person as you spend more time
with them. Right. Because they can say anything.
Mhmm. It's not who cares? It's about what
they do, and it's not about what they
do one time. It's about what they Consistency.
Yeah.
Because a poser
can pretend
one time.
But they can't usually keep it up over
the long term.
That's what she said. Yeah.
So
you you have and you it's a stage
thing. You start with what they say. Right?
And unless if you're getting a feeling like
something doesn't feel right, please, please, please, I'm
desperate for everybody to listen to that this
doesn't feel right voice. Sometimes you'll be wrong,
but most of the time you won't. It's
okay.
So you listen to what they say. Does
it does it align with how the kind
of, in this case, daddy dom that person
wants or the kind of partner you're looking
for?
Whatever your philosophy about kink and BDSM is.
And when I mean philosophy, I sort of
mean them. How do you wanna move
through kink is I'm gonna tell you, I
believe communication needs to be is the most
important thing. Right?
And but I'm also gonna add, like, nuances
like
being vulnerable.
And and for for somebody trying to show
that they're actually a decent dumb, being able
to admit wrongdoing and being able to apologize
and, you know, being able to be told
that they're wrong. Like, you're gonna they're gonna
say things, and you start there. And if
the vibes are good with what they
say, then
you start paying attention to what they do.
And again, anybody can do the right thing
one fucking time. Mhmm. That's an overtime thing.
But it's it's the long the long term.
And sometimes,
not always, sometimes our intuition will scream at
us when they do the thing because we're
like, something about that ain't right. So, nope.
I'm not vibing with that. And sometimes it's
a personal preference thing, and sometimes it's your
instinct screaming at you that this is not
real and this person is faking. Doesn't matter.
You can have a conversation about it. You
can go, it was nice to meet you.
I'm gonna go have my own life over
here. Like, whatever you wanna do.
And it's a stage thing. It's why we
caution
every fucking body to start really fucking slow.
I get that it's super exciting to find
a dom who says all the right things
and is, like, hitting you right in your
little subby feels,
but it can be extremely dangerous to then
just jump into a full on scene or
jump into a full on power exchange negotiation
when you've known this person
either actually 5 minutes or the equivalent of
5 minutes. Right? Two conversations
don't make a power exchange. Okay? No. It
just
so that's a little bit of it. Like,
if you are willing I'm sorry. That's okay.
The other thing I was gonna say, you
know, if if this person is a part
of the community,
you know, what what do other people in
the community think about them?
And we've talked about this with vetting before.
If they if they are because some people
will proclaim themselves parts of communities. Right? They'll
go, I go to this much. I'm in
this group. I'm in here. Okay.
Make a list. What group? What munch? Where
do you go? Okay. Now does that have
a presence on FetLife?
If that group, organization, community munch has a
then you are going to DM whoever is,
like, the host of that group on FetLife
and go, do you know this person? Is
there anything you can tell me about him?
That is
it's it's not as common today in the
21st century as it was
in the 1900,
y'all. But
goddamn, I hate saying that.
But vetting is absolutely still a part of
the BDSM experience, and there are plenty plenty
of community organizers who are not gonna bat
an eye to get that DM or to
have somebody come up to them in a
month and go, this person says that they
that, you know, they're part of this community.
Do you know them? What can can you
tell me anything about them? Because what you'll
find out is, did you just catch them
in a lie? And that they're not known
by anybody?
Or
did you
are they known, but they are, like, on
the watch list? Yes. That exists in communities
where sometimes people are allowed to go to
a event so people can watch them and
make sure they're not doing dangerous shit.
Yeah. And there's a whole conversation to be
had about whether that's the right thing. Yeah.
And then sometimes you find out, and this
was true with JB, that they are exactly
who they say they are, and they have
people have great respect for them. Now that
is not always Yeah. A 100%. People can
have great respect for somebody who is acting
shitty, but Yeah. And there there are there
are more and more communities. I know there
are there are several communities
near us and and also
other parts of the state where,
you know, to keep
the members safe, they actually do background checks.
Sure.
We're trying to be a vendor at a
thing
later in September, and we are going through
a background check, which I don't have a
problem with. But I was like, oh, okay.
Yeah. Okay. Because not every community does that.
Right. Also fine, but it's like But but
there are more and more doing that now
Mhmm.
To to keep people safe. And, again, a
background check only tells you so much. Right.
But you wanna know what I take as
in,
information to,
pay attention to? How do they respond to
the fact that they need to do a
background
check? Mhmm. Yep. And and
and are they willing to tell you why
maybe they don't really want a background check?
Now sometimes people have shit in their background
that they just don't wanna talk about.
To a certain extent, that's fine. I'm not
gonna tell somebody that you gotta tell me
all your damn secrets on the 1st day.
But if I'm a submissive and you're a
dom and you don't want the dungeon where
we can go play
in as as
safe
away as possible, which air quote all of
that, and you won't even do that, well,
that tells me as an individual submissive I
can't be playing with you. And and, you
know, that that is another good
point to bring up too that I wanna
mention real quick. You know, you you meet
somebody a lot of times in in this
day and age, you meet online, and,
you know, one of the first things, hey,
especially when you get to the point you
you want to meet, well, you know, there's
a there's the munch happening
at such and such a day at such
and such a time. Let's meet there. You
know, if they kinda balk about
Thank you. Meeting at a munch,
that that that's kind of a flag. And
here's here's the thing, because somebody's gonna go,
but you don't know. Somebody might have a
reason they don't wanna okay. Okay. Okay. That's
fine. You can have your individual reason why
you don't wanna do something. But if my
intuition is screaming at me and I have
decided that a precursor to being able to
be with somebody to decide if they are
a real legit person, I wanna get kinky
with this. These are the things I need
from you, and you're not willing to do
it. That is information for me to make
a decision.
So if it sounds like trying to figure
out if somebody is a poser is hard
work, you're right. It is.
It
is. And the people I find who are
willing,
not this is not universally true, but the
people I find who are most willing to
do it tend to be the ones who
have had to, like, deal with a poser.
When may from a submissive side, they were
in sub frenzy.
Some douche said, like, 3 of the right
words to them,
and they kinda jumped in with both feet
and didn't really think about it. Those folks,
they are they are taking their time next
time. And I'm I wish they didn't have
to get hurt to get to that point.
Yeah. But I'm glad they're taking their time.
Yeah. It's
anybody can say anything.
Mhmm. So it's not what they say. It's
what they do. Do. And it's what they
do over time. And if they are telling
you that there are other people who can
vouch for them, then
go see if those people will really vouch
for them. Right? Like, what would they say
about them if that they're not standing there.
Right?
And, again, none of this is foolproof. You
can do all all of the air quote
right things
and still be lied to, still be manipulated,
still get, you know, a a person who
just played this really long fucked up game
with you.
But these are the best ways to do
that. Can happen, but, you know, you you
need to do your best to protect yourself.
Right. And it you know,
it's all you can do. And at some
point, it's a leap of faith. You have
gathered
as much information as you can. Mhmm. You
have observed as much as you can. You
are making the best judgment you can in
the moment with the information you have.
Are you willing to take the next a
little bit of a leap of faith? And
a leap of faith does not mean
we talked online 3 times. I kind of
vetted you, and now I am alone in
a back alley room tied up, and you're
throwing knives at me. Okay?
It's like, we're gonna start with a little
scene and a little kink and maybe a
little power exchange. We're gonna start really, really
small. Yeah. Because that's how you test the
waters.
And then the thing and I have I
have been ranting about this
probably since 2015.
You know? Not everybody knows how to listen
to their instincts. There's a lot of reasons
and a lot of shit people go through
where they don't trust themselves.
Mhmm.
Here's the thing. Not trusting yourself doesn't mean
that there's not some part of your physical
being that's reacting and responding. You just don't
trust it.
So I would rather people be overly cautious
and maybe let a decent partner slip through
their fingers
because they listened to some internal part of
themselves that went, something didn't feel right.
Right? Like, just I don't want people to
have the kind of trust issues I have,
but I want some folks to have a
few more trust issues than they do. Mhmm.
Trust but verify. You know what I mean?
Mean? So last question that has nothing to
do with any of this, but it's the
last one because I was like, this is
fun.
They said, I am new to the podcast
and curious.
Why are the listeners called crickets? I was
expecting to get the why do you hate
this fucking handle so much. Right. We've answered
that one a few times. We've answered this
one a few times, but we'll answer again.
So in a while, I think. So, you
know, go ahead. Early ish days of the
podcast.
Early enough
that it's not so early that I it
was just me. It was when JB was
finally part of the episodes as well.
I don't know if y'all can tell. I'm
a rambler.
Okay? These this train of thought, there are
many tracks. They diverge. Okay?
We got change stations or whatever the fuck
they're called all over the place. Right?
So what was happening is we would be
trying to talk about a topic, and I
would, whoop, get veered off and spend a
few minutes talking about it. I was on
the nose.
And a person who had been listening from
the very beginning, they were very kind. I
don't I don't handle,
unasked for criticism well, but this time I
was I was in the right room of
mine. They messaged me on FetLife and went,
I love your podcast. I love the topics,
but you were killing me with these side
stories.
But I always wanted to share with the
side stories because, okay, the way my brain
works, they were all relevant.
If your brain doesn't work that way, you
might not see the relevance. But in my
mind, they were. But there were also things
I wanted to share with people because we
would be talking about a part of power
exchange and would make me think of something
kind of semi related that I wanted to
share. So, what we did
was we started with I'm not always Excalibur,
that's a good one. Ass beater, that's a
paddle name, good one. The bonus section is
not a good name. I'm not usually good
with names. Okay?
It's the bonus section. And what would happen
with the way it started
was every little, like, side story I wanted
to say in the middle of a topic,
I would somehow I think I was jotting
notes down.
Try to remember it, and we would get
to the end of the episode. We would
say our goodbyes, and then we would go
into the bonus section, and I would talk
about whatever had popped into my fucking mind
that I could still remember
in this bonus section. And it mostly wasn't
about kink. It still is not hardly ever
about kink.
In the 1st few
weeks of that, maybe 1st few months, I
would say
to JB,
I am sure
that nobody is here listening to this. Why
would anybody listen to this part? This is
not about the topic. I am sure we
are just talking to crickets.
Okay? That's where it started. And then this
is when I was still on Twitter before
it really fucking sucked.
We had somebody who tweeted at us and
went, hey. I'm listening to the bonus section.
I'm a hashtag
proud cricket.
And there
I know. There it was. A merchandising and
branding opportunity when I see it.
And truly,
the Patreon community
is the Proud Cricket community. Every coupon code
we give, Proud Cricket.
The tiers are related to crickets.
I went all fucking in. A fan who's
an artist
gifted us some artwork and said, you know,
you can use it in whatever you want.
I just never sell
sell it. I'd like if I if I
do anything with their artwork that they've granted
me permission to do with it. It's like
freebies for the the patrons or whatever. But
it was it was cricket stuff, like crickets
because the people who were staying to the
bitter end Mhmm. At that time
started calling themselves crickets because I I was
like, nobody's here. We're talking to crickets. And
they were like, you are talking to crickets.
You're talking to us. We are the crickets.
And I have fucking loved that since it
happened. I remember
because it's a little bit of it's first
of all, it's a vulnerable fucking thing to
turn on a microphone and go, I'm going
to tell you all the thoughts in my
head and put it out there into the
world. Right? And it's a little scary, but
you kinda feel like you're talk like, we're
talking to one another. Right?
And then when you start getting feedback, you're
like, oh my god. There's people listening. So
then you're a little bit more aware of
yourself. Then when you get a critique like
that, and we decided to do something about
it,
it was hard because now I'm like,
but I don't even know why people are
here. Like, this was early days. I'm like,
I don't do they like us? Do they
like the top? Like, I don't know. So
would they stay for this? And then to
find out that not only were people staying
for my weird ramblings,
they were then identifying themselves in such a
way. I mean, it was just so fucking
gratifying.
Mhmm. So fucking gratifying. It was cool. So,
yeah, we're all in on crickets now. Mhmm.
So,
yeah,
there there were several questions. Some were so
broad.
We will need, like, an episode to talk
about.
And I have to have a business meeting
with you because I had a whole I
had a series of podcast episodes, like a
literal, hey. We're gonna I wanna call this
a series. That's how many topics came to
me at one time. It's the stupid walk
for our stupid mental health.
So it does it.
And so some of these questions that were
just too broad might be either part of
that series or just an episode to do.
So
so, yeah, that was the last one. Thank
you all for your your questions. Mhmm. I
am okay. So
we take questions over on Instagram, like I
said, because it's just easier the mechanism they
have. But, also,
I have started,
letting my goofy side out in a different
way over there. The reels I post are,
like, meme like reels that I'm making. Like,
I'm taking, like, a popular sound or a
popular meme, but I'm kinking it up. And
I don't know if I'm entertaining anybody else,
but I am delighted, and I'm laughing
and cackling
over the shit that I'm posting. And so
if you're, like, a little skeptical about the
Instagram thing, I'm just saying,
I think I'm hilarious.
If you would like to find out, it's
at that fucking handle I hate, loving d
s and the number one. So at loving
d s one. I fucking hate that handle.
Anyway,
there. That's that's the pitch for the fucking
handle I hate.
And so now we can go into a
bonus section. So are we good?
Oh, my throat hurts. I have not talked
so much.
My throat hurts. I've talked so much.
Keep it kinky, y'all. I will see you
next week.
Daddy. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to
the crickets, please?
Well, what if they don't wanna hear hear
us talk anymore? Then they're free to leave.
That's what consent's about. I can talk to
my I've been talking to myself for 44
years. Pretty sure before I was able to
form words, the babble was really for my
benefit, not for anybody else's. Not for anybody
else's. So while I hope folks not for
anybody else's. For anybody else's. So while
I hope folks will stay and I want
folks to stay and I might I would
be sad if we were alone, I can
keep talking with no fucking body. You could
leave, and I would keep going.
Okay.
Nope.
I meant if everybody else went away and
you left,
I could keep going. That is what I
meant.
Did you ever answer the question?
No.
Well, that's it's a good thing I kept
talking just to you then, isn't it? Yeah.
Mhmm. Yeah. Mhmm. You can talk to the
crickets. Thank you, dad.
Lola is having a rough week. We have
to give the the Lola report.
Lola has a very swollen,
very swollen eye. Looks like somebody popped her
in the head. That is not what happened.
But, I mean, you're like, did she get
in a fist fight? What happened to her?
It's your story to tell her. The funny
thing is is that over the weekend,
somebody was asking about
Lola, like, oh, she's she's doing good. She's
doing good.
And
that went to
shit real quick.
Mhmm. So, you know, yeah. Back in back
in July, took her to the had to
take her into the vet, because there there
was something going on with her eye that
we we didn't know. Right.
It wasn't bad at the time. The vet
looked at it,
and
it's it's one of 2 things. It's either
a clogged,
tear duct Mhmm. Or,
I guess this is apparently common in
in in Lola's breed.
The
Lower eyelid. Lower eyelid
has curled in on itself. And so her
eyelashes Eyelashes curled in too. Are curled in.
So,
you know, it was it was irritated,
but the vet said it wasn't to the,
you know, anything
serious, and, you know, it It was a
keep an eye Keep Yeah. Pardon the pun,
keep an eye on it kind of situation.
Yep.
So,
Monday,
noticed that her eye was looking a little
more red. Mhmm.
Or, you know, the around
the eye, the eyelids, the lower eyelid.
Tuesday
morning,
woke up,
and
her eyelid was
angry.
Yeah. Very, very swollen. One.
Noticed some discharge.
Got her into the vet. Vet was able
to see her that morning. Like, a couple
hours later Yeah. Because I had I had
a doctor's appointment. I had to go to
get get the oldest and take him grocery
shopping. Like, I was gone. I'm like, I
cannot help you. Here's do you have the
number for the vet? You're gonna have to
call them. Yeah.
And,
you know,
so
we
what the vet looked for was to see
that she did not have any active ulcers
in her eye, which she did not. That
that came back
fine,
which was good.
So what
she's having us do right now,
3 times a day, I have to put
drops in her eye, 2 drops
in in her eye.
And
then I also have to put,
get a hot compress
and put it over her eye for several
minutes.
I got a E Z Pass on the
first eye drops. Because you didn't know what
that was. You didn't know what was coming.
Yeah. Since since then,
the eye drops have been a little bit
of a challenge. She does not like it.
No. She does not. Mm-mm.
But she seems to do very well with
the with the hot compress. Yeah. I think
it must be comforting to her. Yeah. Plus,
you're hugging her and petting on her and
loving her at the same time. At the
same time.
So what what we're kinda looking at at
this point is,
get to this Friday
and see if the eye drops I think
they're like an antibiotic
eye drop is what you told me. Okay.
So the eye drops and the hot compress
till Friday. If there is no
major improvement,
then they're gonna put put put her on
antibiotics. Like a pill, kind of antibiotics. Got
it.
And if that does not work,
then they will have to do surgery.
Yeah.
So we're hoping that the other things work.
We're we're hoping the other things work. Yeah.
She she is being
such a champ about it. Yeah. Yeah. She's
not aggressive. She's she's quieter. She's lower energy.
And she was already a baked potato, but
she's lower energy
than usual. But she's, like, she's not aggressive.
She's not so miserable that she's lashing out.
She's just like, can I sleep in the
most comfortable spot that I can find? Will
you stop putting things in my eyeball? Right.
Right.
Now,
the upside
to all this,
she has lost £4.
She has? Oh, god. Yeah. I didn't tell
you why I was so confused. Did I
so I'm texting back and forth with JB
Mhmm. As I'm at red lights as I'm
trying to get to where I need to
be to be with the kid. And,
he tells me, oh, she weighed in. She's
£81.
My brain remembered that the last time she
weighed in, she had dropped 1 pound. Right.
So when I saw the 1 in 81,
I was like, she's never gonna lose weight.
And he comes back with, that was £4
lost. I was, like, I don't know how
to number.
I don't know how numbers work. Because because
initially, she was 85.
No. She was 80 85. Okay. Then she
was 84. Then she was 84.
Now she's 81. And now she's 81. So
her medication seems to be helping. Yes. Could
I get some of that? Would her vet
please?
No. I'm
at a different weight class, so I might
need a different dose. So so that's kinda
where we're we're at with, poor Lola.
Kinda noticed she wasn't
yowling tonight the way she has been the
last few weeks for a while. She got
swaddled on her cot and immediately fell asleep.
Yep. We we think temporarily. We think. We
found the trick. That that may be the
trick. We recorded Monday's video and she didn't
say a word. Sound.
And, yeah, prior to the recording,
she was she was kind of on her
bed, but she wasn't, you know, she was
doing that circling thing that the dogs do.
And I went over there, I grabbed her
blanket, and I picked it up,
put it on,
you know, put the blanket on her. She
she laid down, and then I just kinda
swaddled and, you know, covered her. And she
put put her nose down into the blanket
under her, and she has been there the
whole time. We love a comfy, cozy girl.
Yep. She's in her comfy era. K. I
love to be comfy, cozy too. So I
mean,
same.
Okay. I don't I'm not gonna go into
too great a detail here, but I have
to complain about this. Uh-oh. I already complained
to you about it. So I went to
the doctor Okay. So it's nothing that I
did. How this is not the form I
would be complaining about.
Not for the first time it being mentioned.
I will complain after I've already talked to
you, and we're now laughing about it. Yeah.
Now had a doctor's appointment Tuesday because I'm
tired of sweating through the sheets at night.
Tuesday because I'm tired of sweating through the
sheets at night. Right? So I have
been dealing with the perimenopausal
journey. Please give me some more estrogen
kind of,
life for, what is it, like, a year?
Maybe a little over a year? Y'all know
I'm bad with dates
and my memory is shit.
But I have had lab work done, blood
drawn,
specific to check these specific hormone levels no
less than 4 times. Right? I have had
different prescriptions from this particular doctor. I've had
multiple visits. I can remember that because I
know how much I'm paying every time I
walk up to the front desk.
Okay. I go in for this visit because
I had I needed,
some medications to be, the prescription to be
renewed,
and I was also needing to tell the
doctor. And I've done this all online through
the, like, the messaging portals. Like, I need
this renewed. It's there's no more,
refills on this. And, also, I'm still fucking
miserable, and it's actually gotten worse. Is there
anything we can do? She's like, oh, we
need to do lab work, and you need
to come in for an appointment, and then
we can talk about it. I was like,
okay. Great. A few more weeks of misery.
This is lovely. So I did it.
We go I go.
The doctor walks in
and goes, so I see that we're here
to talk about your blood work and your
lab results today.
And, you know, maybe talk about
maybe talk about hormone replacement therapy. Have we
ever had this conversation before?
Have you ever had any of this done?
I'm like, nope. At least 3 or 4
times,
which was like, okay. Let me back up.
I do not expect busy doctors to remember
me every time I walk in. I recognize
that I
for for me, they're a singular person, so
I'm gonna remember them. And they see 100
of patients between like, the last time she
saw me and
maybe 1,000. I don't fucking know.
I don't
I don't expect you to, like, remember remember
me.
I would love it if you could at
least maybe remember my face. I would love
it even more if just before you walked
in the door, you looked at my fucking
chart.
So
this is a doctor who has a person
who's taking the notes and transcribing
as the appointment is happening. I appreciate that
because I don't think I would trust her
to
to to chart and put notes in in
my chart as so I'm great. So then
she turns to this person while I'm still
sitting there and goes, oh, show me the
last few. Goes through 4 of them and
goes, oh.
Oh,
oh,
okay. Okay. And I'm not rocking the fucking
boat because I don't need to piss this
woman off for her to go, I'm not
gonna give you these medications that I'm over
here going, I know I need these medications.
Okay.
So I'm just like
then she turns to me, and she goes,
okay.
So on you know? And she understood on
the testosterone, she needed to renew that because
it's a controlled substance. But she started talking
to me about testosterone cream and how that's
used for hormone replacement therapy as if it
was the first time. Okay. Well, I'm gonna
have to do this, and it's a controlled
substance, and you have to get it compounded
in here. And I'm just nodding, like, yeah.
I've had, like, 6 fucking refills. Like
but I didn't say that because I'm not
broken the boat. And I also am not
confrontational.
I'm just not. I'm just like, mhmm. Mhmm.
Mhmm. And then she goes, okay. So you
should keep taking your progesterone. And I go,
well, you told me to stop taking that.
That doesn't sound like me.
This is one of those times I'm glad
I remember certain things. I go, well, the
conversation went like this. We were
the last time I'd gone on a medication
break and I came back in, and you
were renewing the medications because I was miserable
on that medication break. And you said, and
I quote, you don't have a uterus, so
you don't really need progesterone, so we won't
worry about that.
And then she goes
I said, because I and then because I
didn't think she remembered. I was like, I've
had a partial hysterectomy. I don't have a
uterus. She goes,
oh, yeah. Because, you know, progesterone is protective
for the but you do need progesterone. It's
your levels are very low. And I'm like,
really? She goes, so I'll give you a
higher dose and this is my highest limit.
I think that's probably as much as you
need. And if you're not already there, I'll
bump you up. And I'm like,
okay.
And I'm just I'm just nodding and I'm
just smiling because I'm like, get me through
this appointment.
And just I just want my medication again.
I just I wanna stop sweating through the
sheets.
And I would like the couch to stop
feeling like we're in the Sahara. That would
be great. And I would also like to
remember what wanting sex feels like because I
miss that. So I'm like, I'm just not
I'm just smiling and on. I'm smiling and
on. And I'm like, this bitch just
and so I'm was talking to my mom
later and she's like, why are you still
with this doctor? I'm like, because
going to this doctor means I don't have
to, like, meet new people
and do the research and read the Google
reviews and not trust the people leaving Google
reviews.
I know this woman will give me fucking
HRT.
I don't know if a new one will
or not.
So, anyway, that
was
my
complaint.
Yeah. That was a
a a bumpy day for you. Yeah. It
was already stressful because Lola's eye, and we
were having some stuff, like, just going on
that we had to deal. And, you know,
and I went from that appointment, which I
walked in stressed because I wanted my medication.
I didn't know if she'd give it to
me. But then I left stressed because I
was like, what the fuck? And then I
drove to Gainesville because
the 19 year old's like, I'm hungry. And
I don't mean he want a McDonald's. He's
like, can we take me to the grocery
store? I was like, yes. And we because
we were supposed to do it over the
weekend and we couldn't make that. It was
it's been wild.
So we go do that. And I look
at my I do not know how somebody
in podcast list, but if you can't see
me, but if you've ever seen a picture,
you know, I do not know how somebody
who looks like me had 2 very tall,
very slender children who cannot keep weight on.
I Yeah. And I mean, I I know
their biological father and I know that family.
None of us know where this has come
from.
So they have the opposite of the problem
I have and they literally cannot keep waiting
on it. It's a struggle for them. And
I am looking at my 19 year old
going, you are smaller than the last fucking
time I saw you. And then I went
to, like, give him a hug, and I'm
like, I feel all the vertebrae in his
neck. And I'm like, what the fuck? He
goes, well,
I'm like,
what the fuck?
That is what I said to him.
He's like, well, I eat dinner. He's like,
and I make breakfast or I try to
make breakfast. He's like, it's the middle of
the day meals. I'm not
and, you know, there's some legitimate reasons. Some
are like
a teenager's
sort of justification for shit. He's also a
broke college student. So I was like, okay.
Well, let's go to the grocery store. Let
me talk you through some simple ways to,
like that I think you might be willing
to do. And then I was like, don't
worry. I will send you written instructions later.
Mhmm. And then I'm on the phone with
my mom, his grandma, and she's like, well,
I want him to I'm talking to her
like, I really wish he would eat more.
He needs to eat more. I need to
make sure he's got groceries. And she's like,
I want him to eat more too.
She goes, well, what does he what does
he do? I'm like, well, he loves to
go to Wawa. Loves him some fucking Wawa.
It's also convenient to the music building. Like,
there's one, like, a couple blocks down or
whatever.
So she is now on a mission to
just send him Wawa gift cards.
She was like, tell him he's supposed to
eat with these. He rides a a bike
not a bike, but a motorcycle, but a
little one. So we don't really need it
for gas. Gas is like $3,
and it lasts him like 2 or 3
weeks. Yeah. So it is food. And she's
like, you tell him to eat. Yes, ma'am.
I'll tell him to eat. I'll tell him
to eat. I'll tell him to eat.
I'll tell him to eat.
So, yeah.
So, yeah. That's been our our week so
far. And in the middle of it, we
got cutting boards up on your shop. Yep.
We're launching a product and a sale for
the Kinkery. Mhmm. Email folk will hear about
it on Thursday. Everybody else will get to
hear about it on Friday. And I made
a coloring book, and I neglected my vanilla
Etsy shop, but I got plans for
that. Oh, but have I researched the curriculum
for the youngest
school? And I had wanted him to start
next Tuesday. No. I have not. I I
I think I think I've I've I firmly
believe that there's a little bit of a
mental block there
after the, scarring from
crushed tears almost feeling I will not be
full on snarky like I was just thinking.
I agree with you there. Also, I've worked
17 days in a row. I know. 8
to 10 hour days without a break. So
I'm gonna have to make the time. You
you you you you have been
I've been. You've you've been. It's it's been
yeah. Yeah.
Yep. The we got a question in live
chat. Does the school have a free coaching
counseling program? They also help with practical solutions.
They have a pretty good for is for
they have specifically a good, like, group office
thing for neurodivergent
students.
Getting
the oldest to do
it would probably be a different
a different experience. But I could probably look
into it and see if I can send
him some information.
He's he's mostly do it like, his bills
are paid. He's, like, he's got everything on
how to pay his grades. They just started
school, so he's, like, they're barely into it.
But, like, he took summer courses and his
grades are fine, and he's handling the schoolwork
and the responsibility.
Mhmm. But he
I
am the whatever my neurodivergence
is of
food is my dopamine rush, so I've never
forgotten a meal in my fucking life.
He is that brand of ADHD
where it's like,
oh He'll he'll forget to eat? He'll forget.
Yeah. And and he won't realize until he's,
like, at the end. So it's like and
he we never realized that truly about him
because he was at home, and I could
keep him fed or, like Right. He had
a very solid routine, so he was always
eating breakfast a certain time. And and this
past year, he's just he struggled with it.
So Yeah.
Yep. Just gotta get him fed.
He has in high school, he used to
be like, oh, leftovers. He hated leftover night
in this house, and I'm like, look. Yep.
We
we're not made of money or food. We're
eating leftovers in this fucking house.
And he would turn his nose up. He'd
make a sandwich, anything that he did not
wanna eat leftovers. And now I'm like, so
how do you feel about leftovers now?
He
Start the the attitude is slowly starting to,
change. Yeah. Tell me how ordered Chipotle, and
they somehow made it I know that they
don't usually they made it real big for
him this time. He's like, I couldn't eat
it all, so I just saved the other
half, and I ate it the next day.
I'm like,
who the fuck? That's how leftovers
work.
It's almost like somebody told you about that.
Right. Right. Glad you discovered,
much like Columbus,
was discovering things. I'm glad you discovered leftovers
there, dude.
Anyway, I love that boy.
So
yeah. We're just
we're 2 wild and crazy guys.
That's all I got. Yeah. I mean, is
can I keep rambling and, like, lullabying? Of
course. I guess.
You know, he says that. And yet, when
I get super quiet and not because I'm,
like, super focused on something, but, like, I
just get really quiet Are you okay? Is
something wrong? What what what's the matter? If
you want to know what my either mental
or physical state is
when I'm talking up a storm.
Pretty good.
Even if I'm ranting and pissed Yeah. When
I get real quiet
Look out. It's bad. It's so bad.
It's so bad.
True. True. True. True. True.
So anyway Mhmm. I guess we should go
now. Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah. Yeah. The wooddom.com
or use the link in the places to
JB's Etsy shop. Mhmm. Thank you to us
for sponsoring us.
Okay. We're gonna go now. Okay. Bye.