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You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, episode

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408. Kayla Lourdes here with the one, the

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only, the I'm so glad you're super indulgent

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of me, John Brownstone. I try. Sometimes. Yep.

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Yeah. Sometimes without going too far in one

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direction. You have to maintain the balance of

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indulgence. I know.

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I guess in a way, we are maybe

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talking about that a little bit

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because this week, we're celebrating our podcast anniversary

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a week late because what even are dates

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and numbers? Please, why have I been put

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in charge of them? Because I don't know

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them and I forget them. You maintain the

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online calendar. I I do.

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That doesn't mean I know what's on it.

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See, here's what happens. I take the information

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temporarily stored in my brain for a date

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or a time and I put it someplace,

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by putting it someplace, it leaves my mind.

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It's no longer there.

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It doesn't take up real estate. Yeah. No.

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Gotcha. So just saying. Anyway,

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actually,

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what we think maybe we're gonna try to

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talk about is the stuff we've kinda figured

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out, discovered, learned,

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come to realize,

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after 9 years of

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requiring ourselves to talk about power exchange

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nearly every week of our lives.

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Yeah.

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Welcome to the Living BDSM podcast. If this

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is your first time listening, glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week, welcome

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back. Living BDSM is produced every Monday Friday

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for your kinky pleasure and education, and show

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notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

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Come back often and feel free to add

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the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You

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can also follow the show on Fetlife at

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lovingbdsmpc

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on Instagram and threads. With that handle, I

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will forever motherfucking

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hate.

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And that is loving

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d s. I'm the number one because does

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that sound right to anybody? Because it's not.

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But it's loving d s Girl. 1. Anyway,

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or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving

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BDSM, where you can watch us live stream

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the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in

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the show notes.

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A big thanks as always to our kinky

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patrons over on Patreon, including our newest peeps,

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but also a special shout out to, like,

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the handful that have been there since nearly

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the beginning, like, the 2015,

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2016

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time frame.

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Yeah. We see all of you. We love

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all of you. But, oh, oh, the OGs.

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How?

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Why? But also how.

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Anyway,

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we have been able to continue being weirdos

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on the Internet for all this time

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in large part because of our Patreon community,

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and we're grateful for everyone there. I don't

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care if you've been there 5 minutes or

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9 years.

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If you would like to join our Kiki

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community

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and get access to extra content and a

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discord server, you can do that. Just join

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us at patreon.com/kayla

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lords. That's patreon.com/kayla

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lords or use the link in the show

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notes.

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And looking and breathing and being. The pocket

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listeners are like, what the fuck is this?

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Good stuff that you should be doing. Yeah.

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No. I get it. It's fine. It's fine.

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Okay.

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Before we get into

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what will probably be

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a a rambly,

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off the wall,

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whatever whatever kind of week. I don't I

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don't even have the words for it. Let's

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do announcements. The first one,

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this episode

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is the episode we probably should have done

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last week,

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to actually celebrate our podcast anniversary.

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August 15th is our anniversary

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somehow.

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I think almost every year. I think 17th.

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This year, I thought 19th. I knew there

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was a one. I knew we were in

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the teens.

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Yeah.

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August 15,

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2015,

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this podcast began. It began with me and

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a shaky little voice

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and a

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tightly written script

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that I actually followed. Oh, how far we've

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come or how far we've

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sunk. I

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don't

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know. And here we are now. We started

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the podcast thinking

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JB will only have to edit it. It

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will be audio only. 10. Yep. I will

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only talk

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for 5, 10, maybe 15 minutes.

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Feel free. Go ahead. Laugh. Just don't make

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your sick self sick laughing. That's that's no

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fun for anybody.

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So here we are. So that's what we're

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doing this week, and it is belated. It

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should have been last week's

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celebration.

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Last year and in previous years, we did

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big giveaways. That did not happen this year.

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There was another year or 2 where it

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didn't happen when we were in the middle

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of high stress moments. We we just didn't

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have it in us. This is a different

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kind of personal moment where we don't have

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it in us.

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But next year is 10 years. Yeah. I

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will do my absolute best to both remember

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and to make it big. So,

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yeah. And and as a way to celebrate,

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we are once again sponsoring we,

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through our loving BDSM Etsy shop.

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All of our digital products. That's workbooks. That's

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planner sheets. That's habit trackers.

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That kind of stuff is for like submissive

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training and stuff like that. All of that's

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50% off for the rest of the month

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of August. Why is that on sale? Because

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every bit of that has been something that

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has come from things we have figured out

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through the recording of all these damn podcast

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episodes. So, yay.

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If you,

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are

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still new to power exchange and being a

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kingster, we recommend 30 days of d s.

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If and that could be new as a

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brand new kingster or in a new power

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exchange. It's 30 different days of prompts, questions,

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topics to think about to break up

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the drinking from a fire hose feeling of

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getting your arms around the idea of power

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exchange. That's 30 days of DS. 30 days

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of DS volume 2 is for the people

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who are in established,

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Power Exchange relationships

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or who have been, like, living their kink

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life for a while. And it talks about

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the stuff that you usually don't see in

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BDSM 101 or the DS 101 kind of

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stuff. It's the it's the more nuanced things

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that you might go through in Power Exchange.

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Same format,

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30 different days of prompts,

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questions, whatever. You can if you're single or

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you just wanna do it solo, you can

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use it as a journal prompt.

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If you wanna do it with a partner,

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it's conversation starters. We had somebody ask if

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they could bring up the topics in their,

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like, monthly munch. I was like, yeah. Just,

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like, get

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a shout out our little workbook there for

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anybody who wants it for themselves. Thank you.

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So there's that. And then we have d

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s and distance.

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Workbook

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we made

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last year

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specifically to help people who are in long

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distance power exchange

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figure out the mechanics of how do we

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communicate,

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how do we set a routine, how do

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we plan for visits, how do we get

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ourselves to where maybe we move in together

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or move into the same town together.

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So

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all of those are 50% off.

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Our planner sheets are, like, habit trackers and

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daily to dos for submissives who are trying

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to wrap their mind around all these new

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things they do for their dom. And then

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we have a dom version so they can

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actually track

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is there submissive doing the thing that they

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said they would do.

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So that's all available on our Etsy shop.

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It's all 50% off

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through the whole month of August or the

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rest of the month of August, I should

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say. Feel free. Go forward. Have a good

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time.

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Ta da.

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Okay.

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Okay. Okay.

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Now

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we can actually get into the topic. Oh,

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thank you to us for sponsoring us. Mhmm.

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Yes. Mhmm. Mhmm. Did I miss an announcement?

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No. Okay. I don't believe so. I think

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that's everything.

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In my anticipatory

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submission, we've had that talk that conversation before.

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I thought you were going to say something.

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I'm learning I'm usually wrong about that more

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often than not these days.

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And my brain was like, he's gonna tell

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me I'm I'm missing a detail, but no.

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No. And that is why

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anticipatory

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submission is is flawed. It's it's imperfect. I

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still try it, but it's okay.

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Okay.

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So

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9 years of podcasting. Now, clearly, we do

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not podcast every single week because we take

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breaks. Mhmm. There's been illnesses. There's been family

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emergencies. Right. So I'm not gonna say 9

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years times 52 weeks. Yeah. Yeah. No. Mm-mm.

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But this week's episode is

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episode 408

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of our long form weekly episodes.

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And then I think we're around the 60

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plus mark on any shorter episodes we've ever

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done. That's all that's a lot of talking

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about power

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exchange. It is.

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And so I'm gonna throw it to you

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first. Oh gosh.

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What is a thing that you have figured

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out

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in the course of all of this? Big,

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small, doesn't

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matter. I I think one of the things

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that I I learned

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from all this

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prior to us talking about

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DS on a regular, you know, on a

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regular basis and it

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being

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so

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entwined in our lives.

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There was a time

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I used to think that,

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you progressed in DS, it was like a

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linear

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Like levels? Yeah.

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Gotcha. And and it's not.

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No. It's not.

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It's not. It's not. It's not.

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You know, because it's it's it's not linear

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because you can there there's so many different

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things you can

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do. Mhmm. Mhmm. Alright?

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And and you can,

274
00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:56,649
you know, bring in what interests you and

275
00:09:56,649 --> 00:09:58,730
what doesn't, you know, just, you know And

276
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:00,809
you might think something is interesting, and then

277
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,115
you try it and you go, oh, I

278
00:10:02,115 --> 00:10:04,674
don't like this. Toss that out, and then

279
00:10:04,674 --> 00:10:06,434
bring in something else that's new. Mhmm. Yeah.

280
00:10:06,434 --> 00:10:06,934
Mhmm.

281
00:10:07,394 --> 00:10:08,035
You know, but,

282
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,995
you know, and and definitely, you know, trying

283
00:10:10,995 --> 00:10:12,215
thing new things.

284
00:10:12,835 --> 00:10:14,294
Mhmm. You know?

285
00:10:14,835 --> 00:10:15,154
And,

286
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,590
at least once, maybe twice,

287
00:10:19,409 --> 00:10:21,730
and 3rd time's a charm. Yeah. I mean,

288
00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:23,570
if by the 3rd time, we're not feeling

289
00:10:23,570 --> 00:10:25,250
it, or at least one of us isn't

290
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,309
feeling it Right.

291
00:10:26,850 --> 00:10:28,610
It it we need to move on. Yeah.

292
00:10:28,610 --> 00:10:29,590
We're done here.

293
00:10:31,394 --> 00:10:32,355
You know, so it's,

294
00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:35,415
it it's been an interesting trip

295
00:10:36,115 --> 00:10:38,455
Yeah. To say the least. I think I've

296
00:10:38,675 --> 00:10:40,675
discovered and most of this isn't really about

297
00:10:40,675 --> 00:10:43,955
us talking about it. It's about people listening

298
00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:45,014
in on the conversations.

299
00:10:46,050 --> 00:10:47,730
And it's a thing I've known to be

300
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,570
true, but sometimes you need the reminder, and

301
00:10:49,570 --> 00:10:52,389
that is you are never ever ever ever

302
00:10:52,930 --> 00:10:55,170
ever, ever, for never ever the only person

303
00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:56,610
going through a thing that you're going through.

304
00:10:56,610 --> 00:10:58,129
That's true. So there are times

305
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:00,485
well, see, because I second guess and doubt

306
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:01,845
myself all the time. I don't I don't

307
00:11:01,845 --> 00:11:03,764
know if that comes across, but it's very

308
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:04,264
true.

309
00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:06,565
Where I'll be like, oh my god. We're

310
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:07,865
talking about this super

311
00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:11,970
niche thing that's like it's probably only us

312
00:11:12,049 --> 00:11:14,309
because we're 2 weirdos with an Internet connection.

313
00:11:14,689 --> 00:11:16,769
And then I get the message or, you

314
00:11:16,769 --> 00:11:19,250
know, the DM or the response, and somebody's

315
00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:21,409
like, oh my god. I've been there. Oh

316
00:11:21,409 --> 00:11:23,169
my god. And this other way I'm going

317
00:11:23,169 --> 00:11:24,069
through that too.

318
00:11:24,449 --> 00:11:24,949
And

319
00:11:25,329 --> 00:11:27,595
nothing you know, there are many things that

320
00:11:27,595 --> 00:11:29,754
I think keep me grounded, probably keep us

321
00:11:29,754 --> 00:11:30,254
grounded.

322
00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:31,615
But that reminder

323
00:11:32,554 --> 00:11:33,054
about

324
00:11:33,514 --> 00:11:34,014
the

325
00:11:35,115 --> 00:11:37,194
we are all unique and special in our

326
00:11:37,194 --> 00:11:39,434
own way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But also some

327
00:11:39,434 --> 00:11:41,960
things are just super common, and it's easy

328
00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,720
to forget that when you're in the middle

329
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,960
of living it. And you're you're like, this

330
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,879
is my life and and my bubble, and

331
00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:50,519
and all I know is is this and

332
00:11:50,519 --> 00:11:51,259
my experience.

333
00:11:52,134 --> 00:11:54,134
You know, certainly, I'm the only one, and

334
00:11:54,134 --> 00:11:55,894
you're never the only one, which is a

335
00:11:55,894 --> 00:11:58,534
good reminder to have. It's also it can

336
00:11:58,534 --> 00:12:00,774
be a little humbling because sometimes you're thinking

337
00:12:00,774 --> 00:12:02,794
you're the only one because you're that special.

338
00:12:03,975 --> 00:12:05,654
Again, we're all unique and special in our

339
00:12:05,654 --> 00:12:06,959
own ways. Yeah. Yeah. But

340
00:12:07,419 --> 00:12:08,720
also, more things,

341
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:12,299
even in and especially in kink and power

342
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:12,799
exchange,

343
00:12:14,059 --> 00:12:15,740
I don't like to say things are universal

344
00:12:15,740 --> 00:12:17,820
because we're we all have a different experience

345
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,294
with things, but there's a lot lot more

346
00:12:20,294 --> 00:12:20,794
commonality.

347
00:12:21,335 --> 00:12:23,095
You know? Mhmm. It might not be the

348
00:12:23,095 --> 00:12:23,595
exact

349
00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:27,355
physical thing that you do or the exact

350
00:12:27,495 --> 00:12:29,414
conversation you have, but it will be the

351
00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:29,914
feeling

352
00:12:30,294 --> 00:12:31,975
of of how that thing made you feel.

353
00:12:31,975 --> 00:12:34,329
And sometimes it's that super niche thing you

354
00:12:34,329 --> 00:12:36,409
did, and you're like, nobody else was doing

355
00:12:36,409 --> 00:12:38,889
this. And then I'll get 4 DMs from

356
00:12:38,889 --> 00:12:41,629
different people going, oh my god. Been there.

357
00:12:42,169 --> 00:12:44,029
Mhmm. Okay. I'm not alone in the universe.

358
00:12:44,169 --> 00:12:45,230
Thank you. No.

359
00:12:46,009 --> 00:12:46,509
So

360
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:47,475
what else?

361
00:12:47,954 --> 00:12:48,615
What else?

362
00:12:53,954 --> 00:12:55,815
Oddly enough, it's it's a very

363
00:12:57,475 --> 00:12:59,095
simple thing, but it's important.

364
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:04,049
I think from doing the podcast, I realized

365
00:13:04,190 --> 00:13:05,089
how important

366
00:13:05,629 --> 00:13:06,769
it is to,

367
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,429
you know, on either side of the slash,

368
00:13:10,429 --> 00:13:11,169
have empathy.

369
00:13:12,110 --> 00:13:15,570
Yeah. Sure. Okay. I I think that's extremely

370
00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:16,370
important

371
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:17,964
And,

372
00:13:18,985 --> 00:13:19,725
you know, because,

373
00:13:21,065 --> 00:13:22,504
you know, let's face it, what what we

374
00:13:22,504 --> 00:13:23,804
do is a lot of fun,

375
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,924
you know, and sometimes it can be intense.

376
00:13:27,464 --> 00:13:29,644
And, you need to be able to,

377
00:13:30,424 --> 00:13:31,110
you know,

378
00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:33,450
be on the other side of that too.

379
00:13:34,309 --> 00:13:35,610
Yeah. And I think that's

380
00:13:37,269 --> 00:13:39,850
in scene and in the relationship.

381
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:41,509
And I think that does work on both

382
00:13:41,509 --> 00:13:42,889
sides of the slash because

383
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:44,649
I find myself

384
00:13:45,029 --> 00:13:47,315
when I get stuck in my own, like,

385
00:13:48,014 --> 00:13:50,654
my own misery, my own annoyance, my own

386
00:13:50,654 --> 00:13:51,154
crankiness,

387
00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:52,995
thinking that

388
00:13:53,455 --> 00:13:56,894
I'm working harder or I'm doing all of

389
00:13:56,894 --> 00:13:57,795
these things.

390
00:13:58,589 --> 00:13:59,089
And

391
00:13:59,549 --> 00:14:02,110
I it in that moment, and it is

392
00:14:02,110 --> 00:14:04,029
just a blip, it can be easy to

393
00:14:04,029 --> 00:14:05,250
forget that, wait.

394
00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:08,829
But what is JB feeling? And what is

395
00:14:08,829 --> 00:14:10,850
he going through that maybe I'm not considering?

396
00:14:11,394 --> 00:14:13,315
And is it possible for that to be

397
00:14:13,315 --> 00:14:15,394
very one-sided and that's a bad a bad

398
00:14:15,394 --> 00:14:18,054
situation in a relationship? Of course. But

399
00:14:18,514 --> 00:14:20,595
we have learned, I think, through all just

400
00:14:20,595 --> 00:14:23,235
just so many fucking conversations about our own

401
00:14:23,235 --> 00:14:25,700
relationship Yeah. That we are each feeling the

402
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:27,340
same way. Like, the thing I I don't

403
00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:29,820
ever doubt, oh, would JB feel the same

404
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:31,899
way? Does he forget think that for a

405
00:14:31,899 --> 00:14:33,660
moment he's doing all of the hard work

406
00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:35,580
around here or he's the only one miserable

407
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:38,154
and not remembering to to have empathy for

408
00:14:38,154 --> 00:14:40,075
what maybe I'm going through. Or or if

409
00:14:40,075 --> 00:14:42,475
I have forgotten a task, is he immediately

410
00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:44,575
getting pissed? No. He's probably

411
00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:45,774
you know?

412
00:14:46,955 --> 00:14:48,075
I think you and I have had this

413
00:14:48,075 --> 00:14:50,634
conversation where some the recent weeks where you,

414
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:52,929
like, try to find the balance between I'm

415
00:14:52,929 --> 00:14:54,610
empathetic to the fact that you could not

416
00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:57,009
do that task versus Mhmm. But now, you

417
00:14:57,009 --> 00:14:59,009
know, how do I handle it Right. So

418
00:14:59,009 --> 00:15:01,750
I'm not creating a habit? So, like, if

419
00:15:01,809 --> 00:15:03,590
there were not so many examples

420
00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:04,556
of your empathy towards me and your understanding

421
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:04,823
Mhmm. Of what maybe I'm going through and

422
00:15:04,823 --> 00:15:05,509
that sort of

423
00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:18,728
Happy to be. This is the side of

424
00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:19,740
the slash I wanna be on. Happy to

425
00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:20,240
be.

426
00:15:20,779 --> 00:15:22,220
This is the side of the slash I

427
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:24,480
wanna be on, but I am,

428
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:25,840
a cranky

429
00:15:26,460 --> 00:15:28,700
bitch sometimes who will be at the sink

430
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:30,540
washing a cup going well. I'm the one

431
00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:31,660
who's doing all the

432
00:15:32,220 --> 00:15:34,595
I'm not. We're a team. I know that.

433
00:15:34,595 --> 00:15:36,995
But in that moment, you just feel, you

434
00:15:36,995 --> 00:15:39,714
know, poor pitiful me who has to do

435
00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:40,214
everything.

436
00:15:40,595 --> 00:15:42,595
And I know JB's had that moment too

437
00:15:42,595 --> 00:15:44,595
where he you're just doing a lot. Maybe

438
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,674
you're stressed or maybe you're frustrated by something

439
00:15:46,674 --> 00:15:47,174
or

440
00:15:48,274 --> 00:15:51,230
so, yeah, it it it absolutely happens where

441
00:15:51,230 --> 00:15:53,230
sometimes there's muttering under the breath about how

442
00:15:53,230 --> 00:15:54,690
hard you work as an individual

443
00:15:55,149 --> 00:15:57,389
because you've forgotten your empathy for your partner

444
00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:59,710
for a second. Yeah. As long as it's

445
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:01,409
temporary, I think it's okay.

446
00:16:02,190 --> 00:16:02,690
Mhmm.

447
00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:05,704
So we've talked about this many times,

448
00:16:06,164 --> 00:16:09,044
but the fact that we we do this

449
00:16:09,284 --> 00:16:10,745
Yeah. All the damn time,

450
00:16:11,125 --> 00:16:11,944
I am

451
00:16:12,565 --> 00:16:14,264
much more in tune

452
00:16:15,125 --> 00:16:16,664
with whether we are

453
00:16:17,125 --> 00:16:18,584
connecting well or not.

454
00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:19,440
Yeah.

455
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:22,379
Like, I I mean, I think anybody in

456
00:16:22,379 --> 00:16:24,460
a long term relationship, you're you can tell

457
00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:26,139
the vibe usually. Like, you know what your

458
00:16:26,139 --> 00:16:28,300
baseline is, and you can eventually get to

459
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,240
that point where you're like, something's off here.

460
00:16:31,355 --> 00:16:31,855
Unless

461
00:16:32,794 --> 00:16:34,475
we're just putting out fires left, right, and

462
00:16:34,475 --> 00:16:36,075
center, which sometimes that happens in life and

463
00:16:36,075 --> 00:16:37,615
you just can't focus on one another.

464
00:16:38,154 --> 00:16:39,214
I'm within

465
00:16:39,995 --> 00:16:42,235
probably a 12 hour period of knowing when

466
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,534
the disconnect has occurred.

467
00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:47,299
Now early days,

468
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,500
not even that early, like, within the past

469
00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:52,960
few years even, that was enough for a

470
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,299
panic. That was enough for, uh-oh, what's wrong?

471
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,600
Not, uh-oh, what's wrong? Our power exchange is

472
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,279
on fire and will never be the same,

473
00:16:59,279 --> 00:16:59,774
but, like,

474
00:17:00,335 --> 00:17:02,335
what is so bad that we're not connected?

475
00:17:02,335 --> 00:17:03,475
And I don't know

476
00:17:04,015 --> 00:17:06,015
if I've just become immune to some of

477
00:17:06,015 --> 00:17:08,195
that or if I'm maturing.

478
00:17:08,734 --> 00:17:09,234
But

479
00:17:10,095 --> 00:17:10,835
these days,

480
00:17:11,934 --> 00:17:13,234
I feel the disconnect.

481
00:17:13,829 --> 00:17:16,230
We talk about the disconnect. Mhmm. Sometimes we

482
00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,230
don't feel the disconnect anymore, and sometimes we

483
00:17:18,230 --> 00:17:19,929
just keep on rolling with it. Yeah.

484
00:17:21,429 --> 00:17:23,829
But the panic isn't there because I I

485
00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:25,429
think I've just figured out and this isn't

486
00:17:25,429 --> 00:17:27,804
really the, oh, we podcast about our relationship.

487
00:17:27,804 --> 00:17:29,404
It's more of the just the longevity of

488
00:17:29,404 --> 00:17:31,404
the relationship. You start to recognize that there

489
00:17:31,404 --> 00:17:33,664
are ebbs and flows to even that too.

490
00:17:33,884 --> 00:17:35,804
There are seasons in life where you can

491
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:37,804
be super into your fuckery, and then there

492
00:17:37,804 --> 00:17:39,404
are seasons of I I will say there

493
00:17:39,565 --> 00:17:40,224
you know,

494
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,099
many times of late, the disconnect

495
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:47,279
does not bother me Yeah. As much because

496
00:17:47,279 --> 00:17:49,380
I know we always, you know, come back

497
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,680
around. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I I think

498
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,640
when when it when it starts bothering me

499
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:55,460
is if it

500
00:17:55,934 --> 00:17:57,855
carries on too long. And I think, you

501
00:17:57,855 --> 00:17:59,694
know Then there's then there's I use the

502
00:17:59,694 --> 00:18:01,855
term disconnect, and I think that sounds like

503
00:18:01,855 --> 00:18:02,835
you and I

504
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,774
are somehow, like, not playing on the same

505
00:18:05,774 --> 00:18:08,549
team, not happy with one another. It's really

506
00:18:08,549 --> 00:18:10,630
a disconnect from the power exchange, and and

507
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:12,230
it's not a full disconnect. It's not like,

508
00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:13,529
oh, it's turned off because

509
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:15,769
the way we've set up our power exchange,

510
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,509
my rules and routines and tasks are just

511
00:18:19,509 --> 00:18:22,205
baked into my, like, what I do every

512
00:18:22,205 --> 00:18:24,384
day and do not require,

513
00:18:25,325 --> 00:18:27,164
you know, JB to tell me to do

514
00:18:27,164 --> 00:18:28,765
the thing. It is understood that I will

515
00:18:28,765 --> 00:18:30,525
do it. He's gonna say something if I'm

516
00:18:30,525 --> 00:18:33,184
not doing it. Right? And so I always,

517
00:18:33,409 --> 00:18:36,289
unless I'm physically unable to, I always have

518
00:18:36,289 --> 00:18:38,849
that to fall back on. Yeah. And because

519
00:18:38,849 --> 00:18:40,529
you just happen to be a polite human

520
00:18:40,529 --> 00:18:41,029
being,

521
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:41,829
you,

522
00:18:43,009 --> 00:18:44,769
you know, it might not be in a

523
00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:47,595
a big de dom way, but you acknowledge

524
00:18:47,654 --> 00:18:49,815
the things I do. Right? Yeah. So when

525
00:18:49,815 --> 00:18:51,275
I say I'm disconnected,

526
00:18:51,654 --> 00:18:52,154
it's

527
00:18:52,934 --> 00:18:55,174
I still know that I'm the submissive. I

528
00:18:55,174 --> 00:18:57,015
still know we're in a power exchange, but

529
00:18:57,015 --> 00:18:59,414
I'm not the power exchange doesn't feel quite

530
00:18:59,414 --> 00:19:01,194
as tangible. There's not

531
00:19:01,669 --> 00:19:04,809
the looks. There's not the tone. There's not

532
00:19:05,589 --> 00:19:06,089
the

533
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,230
you know what? And it's I can't even

534
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:09,509
say it's, oh, he's not asking me to

535
00:19:09,509 --> 00:19:11,029
do anything. Here's how I know when we're

536
00:19:11,029 --> 00:19:11,529
disconnected

537
00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:12,970
or when I'm disconnected.

538
00:19:14,230 --> 00:19:15,450
He'll give me a task,

539
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:18,045
and I promise you my first thought is

540
00:19:18,045 --> 00:19:19,724
not, oh, yay. I get to be submissive,

541
00:19:19,724 --> 00:19:20,224
dad.

542
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:21,984
It's like,

543
00:19:22,365 --> 00:19:23,025
oh, fine.

544
00:19:23,805 --> 00:19:26,125
Fine. And, yeah, once I do it, then

545
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,964
I feel that sense of accomplishment that I

546
00:19:27,964 --> 00:19:29,025
personally enjoy.

547
00:19:29,484 --> 00:19:31,825
Mhmm. But, yeah, noticing that

548
00:19:32,509 --> 00:19:33,490
it it doesn't

549
00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:37,149
the the noticing it does not linger. I

550
00:19:37,149 --> 00:19:39,669
notice it immediately because I know we're just

551
00:19:39,789 --> 00:19:42,210
we you kind of have to become

552
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:45,464
in tune with your relationship if you are

553
00:19:45,464 --> 00:19:47,644
going to bare your soul about your relationship

554
00:19:48,265 --> 00:19:50,684
every fucking week for 9 years. Mhmm.

555
00:19:51,144 --> 00:19:52,664
I'm just I know I'm also a lot

556
00:19:52,664 --> 00:19:54,265
more relaxed about what do we do about

557
00:19:54,265 --> 00:19:57,325
it, because I know ain't nobody going nowhere.

558
00:19:57,785 --> 00:19:58,845
So we can't

559
00:19:59,509 --> 00:20:01,909
neglect that. We can't just act like that

560
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,470
lack of connection doesn't matter. It it matters

561
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:06,869
very deeply. But I think I I think

562
00:20:06,869 --> 00:20:08,169
I've gotten more pragmatic

563
00:20:08,470 --> 00:20:10,710
that, oh, we'll get this back. We are

564
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:11,529
both aware.

565
00:20:11,829 --> 00:20:13,109
You know, at this point, you and I,

566
00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:14,555
like, will just kinda look at one another,

567
00:20:14,555 --> 00:20:16,315
or we'll say something real quick. It doesn't

568
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,234
have this have to be this big, deep,

569
00:20:18,234 --> 00:20:18,734
meaningful

570
00:20:19,195 --> 00:20:19,695
conversation

571
00:20:20,154 --> 00:20:22,154
anymore. Because quite frankly, if I need to

572
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,315
talk it out, it'll probably become a topic,

573
00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:27,220
and we will talk it out. Mhmm. Yeah.

574
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,700
On that, for topics,

575
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,640
a a thing that I think we learned

576
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,140
very quickly because we started out as bloggers

577
00:20:35,279 --> 00:20:37,140
who were sharing our kink life

578
00:20:37,519 --> 00:20:38,180
that way.

579
00:20:38,894 --> 00:20:40,355
We learned very quickly

580
00:20:40,815 --> 00:20:43,075
kind of what's off limits, what

581
00:20:43,455 --> 00:20:45,855
what can be an immediate topic. Hey. We're

582
00:20:45,855 --> 00:20:47,634
going through this thing this week,

583
00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:49,795
and what has to

584
00:20:51,590 --> 00:20:53,049
be a distant memory

585
00:20:54,390 --> 00:20:56,630
for it could become a topic. And then

586
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,789
there are some things that just, that's not

587
00:20:58,789 --> 00:20:59,769
for public consumption.

588
00:21:01,349 --> 00:21:03,910
The thing I find the most fascinating about

589
00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:06,410
that is that's never been a fight.

590
00:21:06,775 --> 00:21:08,295
You know, I might ask you, hey. How

591
00:21:08,295 --> 00:21:09,815
do you feel if we talk about this?

592
00:21:09,815 --> 00:21:12,295
And you might veto it immediately, and I'm

593
00:21:12,295 --> 00:21:13,894
not, like, trying to make the case for

594
00:21:13,894 --> 00:21:15,494
it. I'm just like, oh, no. You don't.

595
00:21:15,494 --> 00:21:17,174
And then at this point, I don't think

596
00:21:17,174 --> 00:21:18,775
I've even had to ask. I've gone, yeah.

597
00:21:18,775 --> 00:21:19,559
We're not talking

598
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,120
about that. That's just for us. I mean,

599
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,960
really, if you think about it, over over

600
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:27,019
the time, there's been very few topics

601
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,340
that that have been vetoed.

602
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,940
It tends to be

603
00:21:32,054 --> 00:21:33,994
the peak stressful,

604
00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:35,914
deep emotion

605
00:21:36,615 --> 00:21:38,774
stuff that's not even really about our power

606
00:21:38,774 --> 00:21:39,274
exchange.

607
00:21:39,575 --> 00:21:40,554
It's just that

608
00:21:41,654 --> 00:21:43,494
because of the way we've structured our power

609
00:21:43,494 --> 00:21:46,075
exchange, everything that happens in our lives

610
00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:48,470
impacts our power exchange. So that means it's

611
00:21:48,470 --> 00:21:48,970
technically

612
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:51,849
potential fodder for the podcast.

613
00:21:52,230 --> 00:21:52,730
True.

614
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,150
And some of those things just yeah. They

615
00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:56,650
don't

616
00:21:57,029 --> 00:21:58,869
you know? And it's not you know, because

617
00:21:58,869 --> 00:22:00,069
I I have been asked this in the

618
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,750
past. Oh, is it difficult if you don't

619
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,804
agree? No. Part of it is because we

620
00:22:03,804 --> 00:22:04,304
have

621
00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,924
always had the strong feeling if we can't

622
00:22:06,924 --> 00:22:08,524
both agree on it, then we just don't

623
00:22:08,524 --> 00:22:10,365
do it. Right. We were like that. We're

624
00:22:10,365 --> 00:22:11,884
like that with every part of our life,

625
00:22:11,884 --> 00:22:14,524
though. We bought this this particular house because

626
00:22:14,524 --> 00:22:15,964
this is the one we could both be

627
00:22:15,964 --> 00:22:17,750
happy with. Right? There was no, I have

628
00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:18,806
to twist your arm and convince you to

629
00:22:18,806 --> 00:22:19,281
to do what I wanna do on either

630
00:22:19,281 --> 00:22:20,329
side. Right? Right.

631
00:22:21,029 --> 00:22:22,710
We're like that about the kinks we try.

632
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:23,910
We're like that about the way we structure

633
00:22:23,910 --> 00:22:25,929
our power exchange. We're like that about the

634
00:22:28,654 --> 00:22:30,914
content we we create, the businesses we run.

635
00:22:31,294 --> 00:22:32,994
If we're not both

636
00:22:34,335 --> 00:22:34,835
invested

637
00:22:35,134 --> 00:22:36,595
and, like, yeah, sure.

638
00:22:36,974 --> 00:22:39,294
If it's a meh or I don't know

639
00:22:39,294 --> 00:22:41,420
or an I'm uncomfortable, then it's a no

640
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:43,019
because I don't if I'm doing it with

641
00:22:43,019 --> 00:22:44,619
him, I don't wanna do it with him

642
00:22:44,619 --> 00:22:45,599
unless he's

643
00:22:46,140 --> 00:22:47,740
in it with me. You know what I

644
00:22:47,740 --> 00:22:48,240
mean?

645
00:22:48,779 --> 00:22:50,640
So, yeah, that's that has made

646
00:22:52,059 --> 00:22:54,400
finding topics or figuring out topics,

647
00:22:55,579 --> 00:22:57,904
like, it's it's not even there's no arguing

648
00:22:57,904 --> 00:23:00,384
about it ever. No. There are times where

649
00:23:02,144 --> 00:23:03,525
so when your life

650
00:23:03,984 --> 00:23:04,484
is,

651
00:23:05,025 --> 00:23:05,525
content

652
00:23:06,545 --> 00:23:08,625
and you kinda have that almost everything is

653
00:23:08,625 --> 00:23:09,125
content.

654
00:23:10,799 --> 00:23:12,019
There are times

655
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,339
when we're in the middle of a thing

656
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,039
and my if I have the capacity for

657
00:23:17,039 --> 00:23:17,859
it, my brain

658
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,779
is putting together an episode.

659
00:23:21,919 --> 00:23:23,519
My brain is like, you need to remember

660
00:23:23,519 --> 00:23:24,954
this moment. My brain like a sieve that

661
00:23:24,954 --> 00:23:27,595
doesn't remember shit, including our own podcast anniversary.

662
00:23:27,595 --> 00:23:29,914
Yeah. That brain is like, oh, this is

663
00:23:29,914 --> 00:23:32,254
a really good point being made here. Oh,

664
00:23:32,394 --> 00:23:33,855
this is a lesson learned.

665
00:23:34,554 --> 00:23:37,130
Oh, I wonder if people have thought about

666
00:23:37,130 --> 00:23:39,470
this kind of thing with their power exchange.

667
00:23:40,329 --> 00:23:41,390
No. I'm not

668
00:23:42,169 --> 00:23:45,049
I'm not a completely awful human being. I'm

669
00:23:45,049 --> 00:23:47,149
not taking notes in the middle of

670
00:23:48,089 --> 00:23:49,149
the fucking note.

671
00:23:49,609 --> 00:23:52,575
It's just a it's just a, like, a

672
00:23:52,575 --> 00:23:54,434
sliding thought that's, like,

673
00:23:54,815 --> 00:23:55,315
acknowledging

674
00:23:56,335 --> 00:23:58,195
what I'm what I'm seeing

675
00:23:58,815 --> 00:24:00,815
and then letting it go. And if it's

676
00:24:00,815 --> 00:24:02,674
still in my brain later,

677
00:24:05,710 --> 00:24:07,869
then okay. I'll it'll it'll be in the

678
00:24:07,869 --> 00:24:09,329
outline or something. You know?

679
00:24:10,589 --> 00:24:12,349
But that is that is the other thing.

680
00:24:12,349 --> 00:24:13,710
It's like, yeah, we can be in a

681
00:24:13,710 --> 00:24:14,849
moment and I'll be like,

682
00:24:16,269 --> 00:24:18,684
gosh. A good topic. We haven't talked about

683
00:24:22,025 --> 00:24:24,025
that yet. And, yeah, then some okay. Now

684
00:24:24,025 --> 00:24:25,565
this is me and my

685
00:24:27,785 --> 00:24:29,804
me in in in my brain.

686
00:24:30,105 --> 00:24:30,605
Sometimes

687
00:24:32,759 --> 00:24:34,380
it feels like cheating.

688
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,640
And I don't. I I don't even quite

689
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,720
know why or what that would even mean

690
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:44,535
because it's like, oh, this thing happened on

691
00:24:44,695 --> 00:24:45,195
Monday.

692
00:24:45,575 --> 00:24:47,654
Let's talk if we're capable of it. Yeah.

693
00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:49,595
Let's talk about it on Wednesday.

694
00:24:50,055 --> 00:24:52,055
And I think some I keep waiting I

695
00:24:52,055 --> 00:24:53,575
guess it's a little bit of my imposter

696
00:24:53,575 --> 00:24:55,255
syndrome. I keep waiting for somebody to go,

697
00:24:55,255 --> 00:24:56,775
how can you have a thing happen on

698
00:24:56,775 --> 00:24:59,599
Monday and it be, you know, thought through

699
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:02,159
enough to talk about on Wednesday? Well, you

700
00:25:02,159 --> 00:25:04,000
have not been in this brain. I can't

701
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,919
explain how that works to you. But it

702
00:25:05,919 --> 00:25:07,200
it it does feel a little bit like

703
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,519
cheating. Like, I'm I'm groping around the unit

704
00:25:09,599 --> 00:25:11,380
groping. I'm groping the universe. I'm

705
00:25:13,625 --> 00:25:15,144
looking looking around the universe like, what are

706
00:25:15,144 --> 00:25:16,744
we gonna talk about? And then a thing

707
00:25:16,744 --> 00:25:18,825
happens to us. And it feels like cheating.

708
00:25:18,825 --> 00:25:21,704
It feels like, air quote, taking the easy

709
00:25:21,704 --> 00:25:22,684
way out. And

710
00:25:23,065 --> 00:25:25,484
it's not. I know that. But

711
00:25:27,450 --> 00:25:29,630
the mean girl voices in my head

712
00:25:30,169 --> 00:25:31,230
would say otherwise.

713
00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:33,470
So yeah. I mean, but

714
00:25:33,929 --> 00:25:38,109
not everything is content. Not everything is open

715
00:25:38,329 --> 00:25:39,150
for discussion.

716
00:25:40,009 --> 00:25:41,295
But a lot of stuff is.

717
00:25:44,894 --> 00:25:47,295
Yeah. Like, oh, that way that you were

718
00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:49,295
kinda snarky to me, I can make that

719
00:25:49,295 --> 00:25:51,795
a topic this week. Give me a second.

720
00:25:52,414 --> 00:25:54,494
I okay. Let me let me let me

721
00:25:54,494 --> 00:25:56,419
give you a little inside baseball here. Why

722
00:25:56,419 --> 00:25:57,859
do I use sport metaphors? I don't know

723
00:25:57,859 --> 00:25:59,160
about sportball. Anyway,

724
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:01,559
the other day

725
00:26:02,980 --> 00:26:04,440
was it it was this weekend.

726
00:26:05,779 --> 00:26:08,339
I was working, doing the the doing some

727
00:26:08,339 --> 00:26:10,144
writing. You came before you were going to

728
00:26:10,144 --> 00:26:11,424
do something else. You came and you asked,

729
00:26:11,424 --> 00:26:12,625
is there anything you need? Do you need

730
00:26:12,625 --> 00:26:13,984
a drink? Is there anything I can get

731
00:26:13,984 --> 00:26:15,345
for you? And it was very sweet, and

732
00:26:15,345 --> 00:26:17,184
it was very thoughtful. And I I don't

733
00:26:17,184 --> 00:26:18,865
even remember what I said now. But when

734
00:26:18,865 --> 00:26:21,845
you walked away and I was, mentally procrastinating

735
00:26:22,144 --> 00:26:23,184
for the work I needed to do,

736
00:26:24,230 --> 00:26:25,849
I thought about how

737
00:26:28,309 --> 00:26:30,950
hard it is for me, just I was

738
00:26:30,950 --> 00:26:32,470
thinking of me as the individual, not as

739
00:26:32,470 --> 00:26:33,049
the submissive,

740
00:26:33,670 --> 00:26:36,170
to accept to ask for help.

741
00:26:37,349 --> 00:26:37,849
Mhmm.

742
00:26:38,230 --> 00:26:38,730
And

743
00:26:39,744 --> 00:26:41,585
my mind started because I really didn't wanna

744
00:26:41,585 --> 00:26:42,784
be working on the thing I was working

745
00:26:42,784 --> 00:26:43,424
on. My mind's

746
00:26:43,984 --> 00:26:46,804
the wheel started spinning, and I was like,

747
00:26:47,184 --> 00:26:48,625
is there a topic in there? And that

748
00:26:48,625 --> 00:26:49,744
is the thing I go through a lot.

749
00:26:49,744 --> 00:26:51,585
I'll have a thought about me, and I'll

750
00:26:52,539 --> 00:26:54,220
if I if it feels like it relates

751
00:26:54,220 --> 00:26:54,720
to

752
00:26:55,740 --> 00:26:57,820
being a submissive or how our power exchange

753
00:26:57,820 --> 00:26:59,359
works, I immediately go into,

754
00:26:59,660 --> 00:27:01,039
is there a topic here?

755
00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:03,500
And I think there is. And it's this

756
00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:04,000
idea

757
00:27:05,284 --> 00:27:06,664
about, as a submissive,

758
00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:09,204
finding it hard to ask for my dom

759
00:27:09,204 --> 00:27:11,444
for help, which I have no doubt. There

760
00:27:11,444 --> 00:27:12,825
are doms out there who

761
00:27:13,284 --> 00:27:15,765
have find it difficult to ask their submissive

762
00:27:15,765 --> 00:27:18,025
for help outside of, like, the clearly negotiated,

763
00:27:18,484 --> 00:27:20,279
like, rules and tasks and things,

764
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:24,039
which is really a broader conversation about finding

765
00:27:24,039 --> 00:27:25,980
it difficult to ask for help.

766
00:27:26,279 --> 00:27:28,279
And so it's sitting in the back burner

767
00:27:28,279 --> 00:27:30,140
of my brain because I'm like, is that

768
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,660
simply the human condition and cannot be

769
00:27:34,585 --> 00:27:37,784
related directly in any way to power exchange?

770
00:27:37,784 --> 00:27:39,544
Like, is it is it a thing that

771
00:27:39,544 --> 00:27:41,244
affects all people everywhere

772
00:27:42,345 --> 00:27:44,204
and does not have a special

773
00:27:44,744 --> 00:27:46,444
impact on power exchange?

774
00:27:47,140 --> 00:27:48,759
And I still haven't figured that out.

775
00:27:49,940 --> 00:27:51,619
But that's a little bit how the topics

776
00:27:51,619 --> 00:27:53,240
will go. Something is happening,

777
00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:55,000
and I'm,

778
00:27:56,099 --> 00:27:57,779
we're getting through it. We're living our life.

779
00:27:57,779 --> 00:27:59,779
I don't stop a conversation to go, wait.

780
00:27:59,779 --> 00:28:01,694
I'm having a thought about how this impacts

781
00:28:01,694 --> 00:28:03,454
me as a submissive and what this means

782
00:28:03,454 --> 00:28:05,294
for our power change. Like, it's it's just

783
00:28:05,294 --> 00:28:05,794
the

784
00:28:06,095 --> 00:28:07,934
the gears are constantly grinding in the back

785
00:28:07,934 --> 00:28:10,174
of my brain. And so you wander off,

786
00:28:10,174 --> 00:28:11,855
and I'm thinking I think what I thought

787
00:28:11,855 --> 00:28:13,375
was, was there something I should have asked

788
00:28:13,375 --> 00:28:16,095
for? And I didn't because I really, really

789
00:28:16,095 --> 00:28:18,390
suck at asking for things. Yeah. Case in

790
00:28:18,390 --> 00:28:19,910
point, this man got up today to go

791
00:28:19,910 --> 00:28:21,670
get himself some water. We are right next

792
00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:23,029
to the kitchen. I can hear every sound.

793
00:28:23,029 --> 00:28:25,369
I know what that sound is. I desperately

794
00:28:25,509 --> 00:28:26,490
wanted water.

795
00:28:27,670 --> 00:28:29,269
If he had walked back in and I

796
00:28:29,269 --> 00:28:31,125
had said, hey, daddy. Would you mind? You

797
00:28:31,125 --> 00:28:32,484
know, I'm working on something. Do you mind

798
00:28:32,484 --> 00:28:33,384
getting me water?

799
00:28:33,764 --> 00:28:35,204
He probably would have done it. I'm not

800
00:28:35,204 --> 00:28:36,244
gonna speak for you. I don't know which

801
00:28:36,244 --> 00:28:38,085
mindset was it, but he probably would have

802
00:28:38,085 --> 00:28:40,484
done it. But my brain went, no. He's

803
00:28:40,484 --> 00:28:42,005
already in there. By the time he walks

804
00:28:42,005 --> 00:28:44,099
back in, he's done. That would be inconvenient

805
00:28:44,799 --> 00:28:47,519
to him. And so I and then because

806
00:28:47,519 --> 00:28:50,720
I'm really weird, I waited for him to

807
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,039
come in back to the office before I

808
00:28:53,039 --> 00:28:54,720
got up to go get water. Now, why

809
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,319
I did that? I don't know. I could

810
00:28:56,319 --> 00:28:57,855
have just gotten up when I thought about

811
00:28:57,855 --> 00:29:00,275
it. I could've just asked him.

812
00:29:02,894 --> 00:29:06,095
We could've been smooch smooshing over the, water

813
00:29:06,095 --> 00:29:08,095
cooler. You know? Oh, no. I get too

814
00:29:08,095 --> 00:29:09,299
frustrated with that thing.

815
00:29:12,420 --> 00:29:12,920
So,

816
00:29:13,619 --> 00:29:16,340
yes, everything is content, but no, not everything

817
00:29:16,340 --> 00:29:18,420
is content. Yeah. Okay. What's the thing for

818
00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:18,920
you?

819
00:29:20,340 --> 00:29:21,240
I I think

820
00:29:21,539 --> 00:29:24,904
because of of doing the the podcast for

821
00:29:24,904 --> 00:29:25,565
so long,

822
00:29:25,944 --> 00:29:26,684
I have,

823
00:29:29,785 --> 00:29:30,924
kept an eye

824
00:29:31,464 --> 00:29:32,365
on the community

825
00:29:32,904 --> 00:29:34,825
Mhmm. More than I think I would have

826
00:29:34,825 --> 00:29:35,325
otherwise.

827
00:29:35,785 --> 00:29:36,845
Mhmm. Okay?

828
00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:38,450
And

829
00:29:42,269 --> 00:29:43,329
I love how

830
00:29:46,029 --> 00:29:47,170
DS has evolved

831
00:29:48,109 --> 00:29:49,890
over the years, how it has grown,

832
00:29:52,215 --> 00:29:53,035
And I see

833
00:29:53,414 --> 00:29:54,394
the young people

834
00:29:55,095 --> 00:29:56,394
coming into the community,

835
00:29:57,894 --> 00:29:58,394
and

836
00:29:58,695 --> 00:29:59,434
they are

837
00:30:00,295 --> 00:30:01,195
taking things

838
00:30:01,734 --> 00:30:03,275
and making it their own.

839
00:30:04,055 --> 00:30:06,350
You know, and just as, you know, from

840
00:30:06,350 --> 00:30:07,809
from old guard to high protocol

841
00:30:08,110 --> 00:30:10,110
to, you know, to to this to that

842
00:30:10,110 --> 00:30:11,890
to all the different modalities

843
00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:12,769
of

844
00:30:13,390 --> 00:30:14,049
of of BDSM,

845
00:30:14,830 --> 00:30:17,009
you know, these these young people now,

846
00:30:17,869 --> 00:30:18,369
because

847
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:21,234
while it's while while what we do is

848
00:30:21,234 --> 00:30:21,734
not

849
00:30:22,035 --> 00:30:22,535
fully,

850
00:30:23,475 --> 00:30:26,115
you know, accepted by society Sure. It it

851
00:30:26,115 --> 00:30:27,894
is more out there. They

852
00:30:28,434 --> 00:30:29,414
have the ability

853
00:30:30,115 --> 00:30:31,815
to to learn things

854
00:30:32,690 --> 00:30:34,849
at a much younger age. Mhmm. I mean,

855
00:30:34,849 --> 00:30:35,809
you know, I I

856
00:30:36,369 --> 00:30:38,230
because of what happened with myself,

857
00:30:38,769 --> 00:30:40,690
you know, because I was doing these things

858
00:30:40,690 --> 00:30:43,269
not knowing other people were doing them, and

859
00:30:43,410 --> 00:30:45,009
oh my gosh. I'm a I'm a weird

860
00:30:45,009 --> 00:30:45,464
motherfucker.

861
00:30:45,944 --> 00:30:47,464
I mean, you are, but but not in

862
00:30:47,464 --> 00:30:48,444
the way you were thinking.

863
00:30:48,744 --> 00:30:49,644
Right. You know,

864
00:30:50,105 --> 00:30:52,044
and and and they have

865
00:30:52,345 --> 00:30:55,565
the ability now to to gleam from

866
00:30:57,144 --> 00:30:59,384
Lola agrees. Yeah. To, you know, to to

867
00:30:59,384 --> 00:31:01,130
glean from past experiences

868
00:31:01,670 --> 00:31:04,309
now of of of folks in the community

869
00:31:04,309 --> 00:31:05,609
between blogs, between

870
00:31:05,910 --> 00:31:08,730
podcasts, YouTube channels, you know, places like Fetlife,

871
00:31:09,029 --> 00:31:10,710
you know, and they can absorb this at

872
00:31:10,710 --> 00:31:12,615
a much younger age and,

873
00:31:13,174 --> 00:31:15,255
you know, just just carry on and and

874
00:31:15,255 --> 00:31:16,234
do and be.

875
00:31:16,694 --> 00:31:18,615
Yes. And I think that that is an

876
00:31:18,615 --> 00:31:20,634
amazing and and wonderful thing.

877
00:31:21,095 --> 00:31:22,154
And and yet

878
00:31:22,535 --> 00:31:23,994
Lola agrees. And yet,

879
00:31:24,535 --> 00:31:26,009
if you were, and I am one of

880
00:31:26,009 --> 00:31:27,769
these people, so I'm not trying to insult

881
00:31:27,769 --> 00:31:29,289
anybody when it says when if you are

882
00:31:29,289 --> 00:31:30,430
chronically online,

883
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:34,190
you will absolutely still see

884
00:31:35,369 --> 00:31:36,590
there's still there

885
00:31:36,970 --> 00:31:38,809
the thing that's never gone away, it's just

886
00:31:38,809 --> 00:31:39,309
transformed,

887
00:31:40,424 --> 00:31:41,404
is the judgment.

888
00:31:41,865 --> 00:31:42,184
There's

889
00:31:43,065 --> 00:31:45,544
Yeah. Yeah. I have a love hate with

890
00:31:45,544 --> 00:31:47,944
Twitter. I don't post on it because it's

891
00:31:47,944 --> 00:31:50,105
just a cesspool, but also I can't I

892
00:31:50,105 --> 00:31:51,164
can't stop looking.

893
00:31:51,625 --> 00:31:52,125
And

894
00:31:53,730 --> 00:31:55,670
some of the things I see are

895
00:31:56,210 --> 00:31:58,470
these sort of knee jerk

896
00:32:00,049 --> 00:32:00,549
superficial

897
00:32:00,930 --> 00:32:03,170
reactions of, oh, that's gross. I don't understand

898
00:32:03,170 --> 00:32:05,349
it, so therefore, I don't like it. Well,

899
00:32:05,554 --> 00:32:08,515
that kind of reaction's always existed. Quite frankly,

900
00:32:08,515 --> 00:32:09,174
the difference

901
00:32:10,835 --> 00:32:12,054
is outside of the

902
00:32:12,355 --> 00:32:14,674
call the police, get the divorce, lose custody,

903
00:32:14,674 --> 00:32:16,275
lose your job, those kinds of things that

904
00:32:16,275 --> 00:32:16,775
happened

905
00:32:17,154 --> 00:32:19,255
before, and they definitely still happen now.

906
00:32:20,529 --> 00:32:22,630
The online world means that

907
00:32:23,329 --> 00:32:23,829
everybody

908
00:32:24,130 --> 00:32:26,609
has an opinion and they're not always inside

909
00:32:26,609 --> 00:32:28,609
thoughts anymore. That's true. Yeah. And that can

910
00:32:28,609 --> 00:32:30,930
be very overwhelming if you get stuck in

911
00:32:30,930 --> 00:32:33,009
this little corner of the Internet where what

912
00:32:33,009 --> 00:32:35,730
you're seeing most of more than anything else

913
00:32:35,730 --> 00:32:36,664
is judgment

914
00:32:37,045 --> 00:32:37,785
about kink.

915
00:32:38,085 --> 00:32:40,424
Yeah. And there are some very

916
00:32:40,965 --> 00:32:41,465
uninformed,

917
00:32:43,125 --> 00:32:43,865
you know,

918
00:32:45,445 --> 00:32:46,585
surface level.

919
00:32:47,125 --> 00:32:49,125
Clearly, folks don't understand at all what they're

920
00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:50,805
talking about, but they saw one thing they

921
00:32:50,805 --> 00:32:51,900
didn't like, and they've

922
00:32:52,700 --> 00:32:54,640
formed what they call an opinion.

923
00:32:55,820 --> 00:32:57,119
And that is

924
00:32:57,820 --> 00:32:59,680
extremely pervasive if you can't

925
00:33:00,380 --> 00:33:02,299
hack your own algorithm to, like, not see

926
00:33:02,299 --> 00:33:03,279
that kind of stuff.

927
00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:05,099
And I think that that is

928
00:33:06,595 --> 00:33:08,115
do what you gotta do for miss Lola

929
00:33:08,115 --> 00:33:09,174
who has opinions.

930
00:33:10,355 --> 00:33:11,894
She does not like the judgment

931
00:33:12,434 --> 00:33:15,075
of the ill informed judgment she sees online

932
00:33:15,075 --> 00:33:15,575
either.

933
00:33:17,394 --> 00:33:20,294
I think that has the potential to do

934
00:33:21,289 --> 00:33:22,029
more harm.

935
00:33:22,490 --> 00:33:23,609
And I don't even know what I mean

936
00:33:23,609 --> 00:33:25,630
by harm. I don't I don't mean,

937
00:33:26,409 --> 00:33:27,069
you know,

938
00:33:27,529 --> 00:33:29,289
it's gonna run people out of kink, but

939
00:33:29,289 --> 00:33:30,890
I think it does could you know, if

940
00:33:30,890 --> 00:33:33,529
you're a newer kinkster and that becomes your

941
00:33:33,529 --> 00:33:36,089
first foray into the online world of talking

942
00:33:36,089 --> 00:33:38,005
about kink, you know, there are then are

943
00:33:38,005 --> 00:33:40,404
questions of, is this really accepted? Is there

944
00:33:40,404 --> 00:33:42,164
really a community? Am I doing the right

945
00:33:42,164 --> 00:33:42,664
thing?

946
00:33:43,125 --> 00:33:44,984
And it's one thing to have those thoughts

947
00:33:45,045 --> 00:33:47,845
on your own by yourself when Mhmm. One

948
00:33:47,845 --> 00:33:50,565
person in your life that maybe was close

949
00:33:50,565 --> 00:33:52,119
to you, maybe wasn't as judgmental,

950
00:33:52,740 --> 00:33:55,140
I can't really imagine what it might be

951
00:33:55,140 --> 00:33:57,480
like to have what would feel like

952
00:33:58,100 --> 00:33:59,960
the masses coming at you.

953
00:34:01,299 --> 00:34:01,799
And

954
00:34:02,259 --> 00:34:03,080
the downside

955
00:34:05,464 --> 00:34:08,384
to primarily the non kink spaces, but it

956
00:34:08,384 --> 00:34:10,824
it certainly can happen in places like FET

957
00:34:10,824 --> 00:34:12,984
because we all know about one truism and

958
00:34:12,984 --> 00:34:15,224
the, you know, this is the real way

959
00:34:15,224 --> 00:34:16,505
to be a dominant. This is what a

960
00:34:16,505 --> 00:34:17,464
real sub is.

961
00:34:18,219 --> 00:34:20,400
You know, to have sort of that deluge,

962
00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:23,280
that drinking out of the fire hose sensation

963
00:34:23,500 --> 00:34:25,920
of everybody's opinions and realizing

964
00:34:26,460 --> 00:34:28,219
that you don't agree, but does the if

965
00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:29,900
especially when you're new, does that mean that

966
00:34:29,900 --> 00:34:32,619
you're wrong? I I fucking love the Internet.

967
00:34:32,619 --> 00:34:33,525
We would not have

968
00:34:34,324 --> 00:34:36,085
a roof over our head without the Internet

969
00:34:36,085 --> 00:34:38,324
at this point in our lives. Okay? I

970
00:34:38,324 --> 00:34:38,824
am

971
00:34:39,284 --> 00:34:40,105
pro Internet.

972
00:34:40,964 --> 00:34:41,464
But

973
00:34:42,724 --> 00:34:45,764
the human condition being what it is Yeah.

974
00:34:45,844 --> 00:34:48,264
And the fact that there is

975
00:34:48,750 --> 00:34:50,849
for many, not all people,

976
00:34:51,469 --> 00:34:54,690
no real filter between the knee jerk reaction

977
00:34:54,750 --> 00:34:56,670
thought that they have and the things they

978
00:34:56,670 --> 00:34:57,489
post online,

979
00:34:58,670 --> 00:35:00,690
you know, it that can be overwhelming

980
00:35:01,150 --> 00:35:02,909
in and of itself. And we're not even

981
00:35:02,909 --> 00:35:03,809
talking about

982
00:35:04,335 --> 00:35:05,315
online bullying

983
00:35:05,775 --> 00:35:08,335
and, you know Yeah. The creepy shit that

984
00:35:08,335 --> 00:35:11,394
people do. And, like, that's its whole other

985
00:35:12,335 --> 00:35:15,295
realm. But, yes, I I love what the

986
00:35:15,295 --> 00:35:15,795
Internet

987
00:35:16,380 --> 00:35:20,059
allows kingsters of all experience levels to do

988
00:35:20,059 --> 00:35:21,599
and to be and to explore.

989
00:35:23,579 --> 00:35:25,599
And, also, fuck, sometimes it sucks.

990
00:35:25,900 --> 00:35:28,799
So sometimes you just kinda have to like,

991
00:35:29,135 --> 00:35:31,614
for me, personally, bring it back to the

992
00:35:31,614 --> 00:35:33,954
fucking podcast, I wanted to create a space

993
00:35:34,094 --> 00:35:35,775
where I was talking about the shit that

994
00:35:35,775 --> 00:35:37,954
mattered to me, and I hope that people

995
00:35:38,494 --> 00:35:40,574
who cared about this stuff too or interested

996
00:35:40,574 --> 00:35:42,675
in this stuff too would find it.

997
00:35:43,089 --> 00:35:44,849
I am enough of a creature of the

998
00:35:44,849 --> 00:35:46,849
Internet that there is a part of my

999
00:35:46,849 --> 00:35:48,309
brain that's like, man,

1000
00:35:48,690 --> 00:35:49,909
I wish, you know,

1001
00:35:50,690 --> 00:35:51,829
I wish more people

1002
00:35:52,690 --> 00:35:55,409
listened. I wish more and yet my lizard

1003
00:35:55,409 --> 00:35:56,964
brain goes, no. The fuck you don't. You

1004
00:35:56,964 --> 00:35:58,405
don't like that kind of perception. You don't

1005
00:35:58,405 --> 00:36:00,484
like that kind of attention. And every time

1006
00:36:00,484 --> 00:36:04,105
something of yours goes semi, air quote, viral,

1007
00:36:05,605 --> 00:36:07,364
the wrong side of the Internet finds it.

1008
00:36:07,364 --> 00:36:09,045
And you wanna know where I'm happiest? I'm

1009
00:36:09,045 --> 00:36:11,210
happiest on this podcast every week

1010
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:12,489
talking to

1011
00:36:13,269 --> 00:36:15,269
the people that I feel like are in

1012
00:36:15,269 --> 00:36:17,829
the community. Yes. Including the lurkers who have

1013
00:36:17,829 --> 00:36:20,070
never once, like, actually typed out a thing

1014
00:36:20,070 --> 00:36:22,469
to anybody to say anything. Yes. I it's

1015
00:36:22,469 --> 00:36:23,610
a it's an energy.

1016
00:36:23,989 --> 00:36:25,130
There is a

1017
00:36:26,125 --> 00:36:28,285
sense of who all of y'all are, and

1018
00:36:28,285 --> 00:36:29,565
I don't even get I don't care if

1019
00:36:29,565 --> 00:36:31,325
it's 5 of y'all or if it's 5,000

1020
00:36:31,325 --> 00:36:32,625
of y'all. Like,

1021
00:36:33,644 --> 00:36:36,625
it's a it's a much comfier, cozier

1022
00:36:37,325 --> 00:36:37,825
vibe.

1023
00:36:38,204 --> 00:36:40,364
It means that we don't, like, we don't

1024
00:36:40,364 --> 00:36:42,679
have a big old channel and we're, you

1025
00:36:42,679 --> 00:36:43,179
know,

1026
00:36:43,639 --> 00:36:45,019
we wouldn't anyway because

1027
00:36:45,639 --> 00:36:46,139
non,

1028
00:36:48,599 --> 00:36:51,319
non vanilla things don't usually rate this kind

1029
00:36:51,319 --> 00:36:53,339
of attention. But, you know, we're not influencers

1030
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,324
in the way way that, air quote, influencers,

1031
00:36:55,385 --> 00:36:57,864
like, make money online. Like, meh. We're just

1032
00:36:57,945 --> 00:37:01,065
we're too niche. We're too numb not safe

1033
00:37:01,065 --> 00:37:01,885
for work

1034
00:37:02,184 --> 00:37:03,885
or TV or any of it.

1035
00:37:05,465 --> 00:37:05,880
And

1036
00:37:06,279 --> 00:37:07,960
that part of me that compares myself that

1037
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,319
always thinks I'm supposed to be doing more

1038
00:37:09,319 --> 00:37:11,099
and more will have that thought of,

1039
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,960
oh, after all these years and then I

1040
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,480
go, yeah. But this is the fucking place

1041
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:16,839
where I wanna be. And when we do

1042
00:37:16,839 --> 00:37:19,565
go semi viral, I am deeply uncomfortable for

1043
00:37:20,425 --> 00:37:22,152
days weeks. Cannot reply to comments when I

1044
00:37:22,152 --> 00:37:22,764
even see them because I'm like, I don't

1045
00:37:22,764 --> 00:37:24,505
I don't they're not my people, so I

1046
00:37:24,505 --> 00:37:26,505
don't know their tone. Are they joking? Is

1047
00:37:26,505 --> 00:37:28,025
that sarcasm? Do they mean that? If they

1048
00:37:28,025 --> 00:37:29,704
mean that, what the fuck is wrong with

1049
00:37:29,704 --> 00:37:29,944
that? Like

1050
00:37:34,530 --> 00:37:36,130
and I'm like, no. No. Give me my

1051
00:37:36,130 --> 00:37:36,630
cozy

1052
00:37:37,090 --> 00:37:37,590
audience.

1053
00:37:38,130 --> 00:37:40,289
Some of y'all have been here since 20

1054
00:37:40,289 --> 00:37:41,349
fucking 15,

1055
00:37:41,890 --> 00:37:43,510
and I am a happy girl

1056
00:37:44,530 --> 00:37:45,590
because the Internet

1057
00:37:45,890 --> 00:37:48,045
is a scary, scary place.

1058
00:37:48,905 --> 00:37:49,965
Yeah. It can be.

1059
00:37:50,344 --> 00:37:50,844
Mhmm.

1060
00:37:51,704 --> 00:37:52,844
Oh my god.

1061
00:37:54,664 --> 00:37:55,164
So,

1062
00:37:56,985 --> 00:37:58,765
anything else? Anything else.

1063
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,760
There are things and so I'll give you

1064
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:05,579
some inside

1065
00:38:06,119 --> 00:38:07,880
whatever. To me, I don't know if JB

1066
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:09,480
goes through this because I have I have

1067
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:10,920
a I know I have a weird brain

1068
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:12,599
and it's it does what it wants to

1069
00:38:12,599 --> 00:38:13,099
do.

1070
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:15,400
Part of the reason

1071
00:38:16,734 --> 00:38:18,655
one of the reasons, this is not a

1072
00:38:18,655 --> 00:38:21,315
scripted and it's a barely outlined

1073
00:38:21,695 --> 00:38:22,195
podcast,

1074
00:38:22,734 --> 00:38:23,234
is

1075
00:38:24,014 --> 00:38:25,614
if I She wants to go on the

1076
00:38:25,614 --> 00:38:27,315
other one. Okay. If I

1077
00:38:28,414 --> 00:38:31,714
think about a topic enough to start forming

1078
00:38:32,049 --> 00:38:32,549
thoughts.

1079
00:38:32,849 --> 00:38:34,849
Like, here's what I think. Here's my opinions.

1080
00:38:34,849 --> 00:38:36,449
Here's the stuff that pisses me off. And

1081
00:38:36,449 --> 00:38:39,089
I do those internal conversations in my brain

1082
00:38:39,089 --> 00:38:41,010
that I do that I do with everything.

1083
00:38:41,010 --> 00:38:43,190
It is how I process stuff.

1084
00:38:43,809 --> 00:38:45,670
Good, bad, indifferent, does not matter.

1085
00:38:45,974 --> 00:38:47,195
If I do that

1086
00:38:47,735 --> 00:38:48,875
before an episode,

1087
00:38:49,894 --> 00:38:51,414
none of those thoughts will come back to

1088
00:38:51,414 --> 00:38:52,555
me for an episode.

1089
00:38:54,055 --> 00:38:55,035
Not one.

1090
00:38:55,494 --> 00:38:58,075
I have I'm telling y'all, I've probably

1091
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:00,739
had award winning

1092
00:39:01,039 --> 00:39:04,160
podcast episodes in my brain because a topic

1093
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,340
got me so fired up.

1094
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,980
Thought through it, argued with myself,

1095
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:10,820
made fucking points

1096
00:39:11,295 --> 00:39:13,295
All in my head. Usually while in the

1097
00:39:13,295 --> 00:39:13,795
shower.

1098
00:39:14,255 --> 00:39:15,775
Sometimes which is while trying to do my

1099
00:39:15,775 --> 00:39:17,315
face care sitting at my vanity.

1100
00:39:17,934 --> 00:39:19,714
2 days later, I'll be podcasting.

1101
00:39:20,655 --> 00:39:22,675
And I'm like, what are words?

1102
00:39:23,054 --> 00:39:25,614
What even is this topic? And the thoughts

1103
00:39:25,614 --> 00:39:26,809
are gone. So

1104
00:39:27,510 --> 00:39:29,590
we started out heavily scripted because I was

1105
00:39:29,590 --> 00:39:31,430
terrified that I would misspeak. I still get

1106
00:39:31,430 --> 00:39:32,890
very nervous I will misspeak.

1107
00:39:34,550 --> 00:39:36,070
Again, it goes back to I'm very happy

1108
00:39:36,070 --> 00:39:37,210
with our comfy, cozy

1109
00:39:37,590 --> 00:39:40,005
audience because y'all tend to forgive me when

1110
00:39:40,005 --> 00:39:42,425
I misspeak. You're like, oh, that's just Kayla.

1111
00:39:42,724 --> 00:39:44,105
It is. It really is.

1112
00:39:45,364 --> 00:39:46,964
So I have to keep I have to

1113
00:39:46,964 --> 00:39:49,045
have the thread in my brain of what

1114
00:39:49,045 --> 00:39:51,050
a topic's about and where it's coming from.

1115
00:39:51,430 --> 00:39:54,550
And I literally cannot let myself form too

1116
00:39:54,550 --> 00:39:56,329
strong of an opinion on something

1117
00:39:56,949 --> 00:39:58,550
until we turn all this on and I

1118
00:39:58,550 --> 00:40:00,230
start talking. I can outline it so I

1119
00:40:00,230 --> 00:40:02,070
can try to hit the points I'm thinking

1120
00:40:02,070 --> 00:40:03,704
of, but that's as far as

1121
00:40:04,265 --> 00:40:06,025
I can go. JB and I, for our

1122
00:40:06,025 --> 00:40:07,864
our q and a episodes for these episodes

1123
00:40:07,864 --> 00:40:09,244
too, but for our q and a episodes,

1124
00:40:09,704 --> 00:40:11,305
we don't spend too much time talking about

1125
00:40:11,305 --> 00:40:13,465
them. Why? Because if I have the deep

1126
00:40:13,465 --> 00:40:17,065
passionate conversation with JB and nothing is recording

1127
00:40:17,065 --> 00:40:19,305
it, you will never hear it again. Because

1128
00:40:19,305 --> 00:40:21,039
once I say it once, it's gone into

1129
00:40:21,039 --> 00:40:23,599
the ether. And I don't know why I'm

1130
00:40:23,599 --> 00:40:24,420
like that.

1131
00:40:25,119 --> 00:40:27,059
I don't know how to fix that.

1132
00:40:27,679 --> 00:40:29,839
Maybe it's not a thing to be fixed,

1133
00:40:29,839 --> 00:40:30,339
but

1134
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,739
we are chaotic and we are

1135
00:40:33,385 --> 00:40:36,425
not professionals at this at all even after

1136
00:40:36,425 --> 00:40:37,545
9 years. Yeah.

1137
00:40:38,105 --> 00:40:41,164
Because if you wanna know my actual thoughts,

1138
00:40:42,505 --> 00:40:44,664
I have to do them unscripted and a

1139
00:40:44,664 --> 00:40:46,429
little bit off the cuff. Like, it's gotta

1140
00:40:46,429 --> 00:40:47,809
come rolling out of me.

1141
00:40:50,429 --> 00:40:51,889
So, yeah, there's there's some

1142
00:40:52,269 --> 00:40:53,969
inside stuff for you on

1143
00:40:54,949 --> 00:40:55,449
the.

1144
00:40:56,670 --> 00:40:58,589
I I will say a a thing that

1145
00:40:58,589 --> 00:40:59,250
I have

1146
00:40:59,789 --> 00:41:00,289
discovered,

1147
00:41:01,484 --> 00:41:02,224
learned, explored,

1148
00:41:04,204 --> 00:41:06,284
pick a word, I don't know, through the

1149
00:41:06,284 --> 00:41:07,424
course of this podcast.

1150
00:41:08,045 --> 00:41:09,344
If I have ADHD,

1151
00:41:09,964 --> 00:41:11,804
if I am ADHD, I don't know the

1152
00:41:11,804 --> 00:41:13,344
proper way how whatever.

1153
00:41:14,469 --> 00:41:15,210
If if

1154
00:41:15,670 --> 00:41:17,769
if I have the 80 of them. Right?

1155
00:41:19,269 --> 00:41:21,510
It's because the more I learned about how

1156
00:41:21,510 --> 00:41:24,230
ADHD can manifest once the the kids are

1157
00:41:24,230 --> 00:41:24,730
diagnosed

1158
00:41:25,110 --> 00:41:25,849
and started

1159
00:41:26,390 --> 00:41:29,369
both listening back, watching back, thinking back

1160
00:41:29,765 --> 00:41:32,005
to every fucking episode we've ever done. I'm

1161
00:41:32,005 --> 00:41:32,505
like,

1162
00:41:35,364 --> 00:41:36,105
oh. Oh,

1163
00:41:36,565 --> 00:41:37,065
okay.

1164
00:41:37,445 --> 00:41:39,625
You can't talk this much

1165
00:41:40,565 --> 00:41:42,989
all the time and not, I think, start

1166
00:41:42,989 --> 00:41:44,829
noticing patterns. I don't think y'all could listen

1167
00:41:44,829 --> 00:41:46,429
to me this much and maybe not start

1168
00:41:46,429 --> 00:41:47,570
noticing some patterns.

1169
00:41:48,110 --> 00:41:51,630
And some of them, by classical definitions, I

1170
00:41:51,630 --> 00:41:53,809
can't speak to anything else. I'm completely undiagnosed.

1171
00:41:54,110 --> 00:41:54,610
I'm

1172
00:41:55,070 --> 00:41:56,510
very on the fence about how I feel

1173
00:41:56,510 --> 00:41:58,125
about doing a self diagnosis for

1174
00:41:58,605 --> 00:42:00,844
myself. No opinions on other people's self diagnosis.

1175
00:42:00,844 --> 00:42:02,065
There we go. Said it.

1176
00:42:02,605 --> 00:42:04,625
But some of the the ways

1177
00:42:04,925 --> 00:42:07,105
that the words come out of my mouth

1178
00:42:09,005 --> 00:42:11,405
and the things that I am criticized for

1179
00:42:11,405 --> 00:42:12,144
the most

1180
00:42:13,519 --> 00:42:15,380
speaking wise, content wise.

1181
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:18,400
Yeah. It's like a it's like if you

1182
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,619
made a a checklist

1183
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,859
of these are things that ADHD

1184
00:42:22,159 --> 00:42:24,159
people tend to do. Yes. Other people do

1185
00:42:24,159 --> 00:42:25,905
them too, but it's a level thing. It's

1186
00:42:25,985 --> 00:42:26,885
quantity thing.

1187
00:42:27,425 --> 00:42:27,925
Hi.

1188
00:42:28,945 --> 00:42:30,164
I tick all the boxes.

1189
00:42:31,744 --> 00:42:33,684
I would have told you before podcasting

1190
00:42:34,625 --> 00:42:35,844
that I had a handle

1191
00:42:36,385 --> 00:42:37,925
on interrupting folks.

1192
00:42:38,340 --> 00:42:40,019
And I do, except for the people I'm

1193
00:42:40,019 --> 00:42:42,500
most comfortable with, I e, jump around the

1194
00:42:42,500 --> 00:42:43,000
stone.

1195
00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:45,300
I when I'm thinking about it, when I'm

1196
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:47,460
thinking about it very, very carefully, and I'm

1197
00:42:47,460 --> 00:42:49,940
sitting there and I'm staring into JB's eyes

1198
00:42:49,940 --> 00:42:53,114
as he's relaying information because I speak so

1199
00:42:53,114 --> 00:42:55,675
much. It's a beautiful treat when JB starts

1200
00:42:55,675 --> 00:42:57,695
talking for everybody, not just myself.

1201
00:42:58,394 --> 00:43:00,715
I have to go, you nope. Don't don't

1202
00:43:00,715 --> 00:43:03,114
don't nope. Watch his body language. Nope. He's

1203
00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:05,340
still going. Remember, he takes long pauses. He

1204
00:43:05,500 --> 00:43:06,880
doesn't do commas. He does semicolons.

1205
00:43:07,260 --> 00:43:08,780
Just give him a chance to take that

1206
00:43:08,780 --> 00:43:11,519
breath. And I like, how do I get

1207
00:43:11,820 --> 00:43:14,239
topic related words out to y'all

1208
00:43:14,700 --> 00:43:16,400
when I'm doing that? I don't know either.

1209
00:43:18,380 --> 00:43:19,680
But believe me for

1210
00:43:20,025 --> 00:43:20,525
everybody

1211
00:43:20,905 --> 00:43:23,464
who has ever complained about how much I

1212
00:43:23,464 --> 00:43:23,964
interrupt,

1213
00:43:24,264 --> 00:43:25,864
it fills me with a lot of guilt.

1214
00:43:25,864 --> 00:43:27,065
It fills me with so much guilt when

1215
00:43:27,065 --> 00:43:28,924
I when I recognize what I've done.

1216
00:43:29,385 --> 00:43:30,664
And then it fills me with a bit

1217
00:43:30,664 --> 00:43:33,065
of stress when I work very hard not

1218
00:43:33,065 --> 00:43:33,565
to.

1219
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:40,820
So,

1220
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:42,660
yeah,

1221
00:43:43,599 --> 00:43:46,000
I have always been a talker like this.

1222
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,239
It was definitely considered a negative when I

1223
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:48,980
was a kid.

1224
00:43:51,255 --> 00:43:54,074
I as I became once I hit

1225
00:43:54,375 --> 00:43:55,194
my thirties,

1226
00:43:56,135 --> 00:43:59,414
I used that talking energy for blogging, for

1227
00:43:59,414 --> 00:43:59,914
writing.

1228
00:44:01,255 --> 00:44:02,074
And now

1229
00:44:03,094 --> 00:44:03,594
I

1230
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,119
don't wanna write so much. I'm still severely

1231
00:44:07,119 --> 00:44:08,960
burned out on writing in a way that

1232
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:10,880
I probably should see a therapist about because

1233
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,360
this is bad. But I'd much rather talk

1234
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:14,420
and have conversations

1235
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,860
even though when we're done, I am probably

1236
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,219
mentally, like,

1237
00:44:19,855 --> 00:44:22,655
mad at myself. I'm thinking you interrupted JB

1238
00:44:22,655 --> 00:44:24,974
this many times. Did you even make any

1239
00:44:24,974 --> 00:44:26,974
sense? Oh god. How many times did your

1240
00:44:26,974 --> 00:44:28,114
train of thought derail

1241
00:44:28,494 --> 00:44:30,735
y'all? And that's gotten worse. How many times

1242
00:44:30,735 --> 00:44:32,094
in the past few weeks have I been

1243
00:44:32,094 --> 00:44:34,335
in a middle of a sentencing on, fuck.

1244
00:44:34,335 --> 00:44:35,480
I've just lost it.

1245
00:44:37,219 --> 00:44:38,360
Yeah. So,

1246
00:44:39,300 --> 00:44:41,400
yes, I'm acutely aware of all

1247
00:44:41,699 --> 00:44:44,360
that. I think what's been helpful

1248
00:44:44,739 --> 00:44:45,559
is realizing

1249
00:44:45,940 --> 00:44:46,440
just

1250
00:44:47,380 --> 00:44:47,880
how

1251
00:44:48,815 --> 00:44:51,795
much of the kink community is also neurodivergent.

1252
00:44:52,894 --> 00:44:53,394
Because

1253
00:44:54,654 --> 00:44:56,974
I have found neurodivergent people to be a

1254
00:44:56,974 --> 00:44:58,914
lot more understanding of my,

1255
00:44:59,214 --> 00:45:00,114
still undiagnosed

1256
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:01,420
quirks,

1257
00:45:02,599 --> 00:45:03,000
than,

1258
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,220
non neurodivergent

1259
00:45:04,599 --> 00:45:05,099
people.

1260
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,160
Oh, JB's phone is ringing. Forgot to put

1261
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,059
it on the airplane.

1262
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:11,660
It's okay.

1263
00:45:12,695 --> 00:45:14,534
You're like that grown person who's like, I

1264
00:45:14,534 --> 00:45:15,835
don't mind hearing a ringtone.

1265
00:45:16,454 --> 00:45:18,454
Things you might not have realized about JB.

1266
00:45:18,454 --> 00:45:21,255
He, 1, lets his ringtone just play. What

1267
00:45:21,255 --> 00:45:24,534
the fuck? And 2, answers his phone when

1268
00:45:24,534 --> 00:45:26,109
it rings unless you know it's spam. Like

1269
00:45:26,190 --> 00:45:28,929
Yeah. You know? I'm like, you're just answering

1270
00:45:29,309 --> 00:45:32,190
phone calls over there? If it's important, they'll

1271
00:45:32,190 --> 00:45:33,409
leave a voice mail.

1272
00:45:36,589 --> 00:45:39,070
And that's the clash of 2 generations, also

1273
00:45:39,070 --> 00:45:41,644
of 2, types of brains. Sometimes I wanna

1274
00:45:41,644 --> 00:45:43,965
talk to somebody other than you. You're gonna

1275
00:45:43,965 --> 00:45:45,164
have to go make some friends and go

1276
00:45:45,164 --> 00:45:46,605
somewhere and leave this house. I don't know

1277
00:45:46,605 --> 00:45:49,344
what to tell you. Look. Look. Look. I

1278
00:45:49,965 --> 00:45:52,045
not in a nosy way, y'all. But I

1279
00:45:52,045 --> 00:45:54,625
see when he's on Fete responding to messages,

1280
00:45:55,340 --> 00:45:57,420
I can kinda tell when he's on his

1281
00:45:57,420 --> 00:45:59,420
phone because he's texting, not playing one of

1282
00:45:59,420 --> 00:46:00,159
his games.

1283
00:46:02,460 --> 00:46:04,139
Probably not as many as you'd like, but

1284
00:46:04,139 --> 00:46:06,300
you're definitely having conversations with folks other than

1285
00:46:06,300 --> 00:46:07,820
me. And that's probably a good thing because,

1286
00:46:07,820 --> 00:46:09,984
yes, yes, we can get tired of one

1287
00:46:09,984 --> 00:46:12,625
another. We adore each other. We wanna be

1288
00:46:12,625 --> 00:46:14,625
together until the end of fucking time. We're

1289
00:46:14,625 --> 00:46:16,964
going out of this world together. Okay?

1290
00:46:17,505 --> 00:46:20,405
He doesn't understand. I will mount him somewhere.

1291
00:46:20,464 --> 00:46:21,844
I will prop him somewhere.

1292
00:46:22,545 --> 00:46:24,164
Whatever. We're going together.

1293
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:25,460
But,

1294
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:28,800
yes, after 9 years of talking about your

1295
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:29,300
relationship

1296
00:46:30,079 --> 00:46:31,699
ad nauseam in detail,

1297
00:46:32,159 --> 00:46:34,480
nearly every week of your lives, you too

1298
00:46:34,480 --> 00:46:35,920
can be like, you know what? I just

1299
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,335
need to go be in a room by

1300
00:46:37,494 --> 00:46:38,795
myself. I need to go

1301
00:46:39,335 --> 00:46:40,695
I'm not the person who's like, I need

1302
00:46:40,695 --> 00:46:42,714
to go talk to other people. I'm not.

1303
00:46:42,934 --> 00:46:44,454
I'm not. I'm that's

1304
00:46:45,255 --> 00:46:47,014
I I gotta sort through that. But I'm

1305
00:46:47,014 --> 00:46:49,835
not. But he is, and I respect that.

1306
00:46:52,579 --> 00:46:53,079
So

1307
00:46:55,219 --> 00:46:56,260
yeah. That,

1308
00:46:58,980 --> 00:46:59,480
yeah.

1309
00:47:01,539 --> 00:47:02,920
Go ahead. Did you have something?

1310
00:47:03,300 --> 00:47:04,579
He did that intake of breath, and I

1311
00:47:04,579 --> 00:47:06,005
was like, he's gonna say something, and then

1312
00:47:06,005 --> 00:47:07,625
I kept going because I do that.

1313
00:47:10,965 --> 00:47:12,364
We've talked about this before, but I'll get

1314
00:47:12,405 --> 00:47:12,885
this isn't

1315
00:47:13,605 --> 00:47:15,445
this didn't happen with the podcast. It happened

1316
00:47:15,445 --> 00:47:18,005
when I was trying to be a fiction

1317
00:47:18,005 --> 00:47:20,905
writer. I am not capable of reading reviews.

1318
00:47:21,364 --> 00:47:21,900
Not because,

1319
00:47:23,819 --> 00:47:26,299
I think they're bad or because I can't

1320
00:47:26,299 --> 00:47:29,039
handle criticism. I kinda can't handle criticism.

1321
00:47:29,579 --> 00:47:31,199
If I ask for the criticism,

1322
00:47:32,619 --> 00:47:34,539
I will will myself not to be upset

1323
00:47:34,539 --> 00:47:35,819
about it because I asked for it. But

1324
00:47:35,819 --> 00:47:37,760
when I was not asked for it, I

1325
00:47:37,844 --> 00:47:38,824
can't often handle

1326
00:47:40,644 --> 00:47:41,465
it. But

1327
00:47:42,005 --> 00:47:44,804
reading reviews has been so bad for my

1328
00:47:44,804 --> 00:47:46,025
ability to create.

1329
00:47:46,804 --> 00:47:48,105
I learned that years ago.

1330
00:47:48,484 --> 00:47:49,625
That and then

1331
00:47:50,005 --> 00:47:51,445
I was like, you know what? You need

1332
00:47:51,445 --> 00:47:53,650
to push through that. That's what everybody says.

1333
00:47:53,650 --> 00:47:55,010
You can't get better at what you do

1334
00:47:55,010 --> 00:47:56,449
if you don't read the reviews. I do

1335
00:47:56,449 --> 00:47:58,150
think that's bullshit, quite frankly.

1336
00:47:58,610 --> 00:48:00,210
You can get better by going out and

1337
00:48:00,210 --> 00:48:02,449
searching out the resources you respect and learning

1338
00:48:02,449 --> 00:48:04,150
from them. Just saying. Just saying.

1339
00:48:04,610 --> 00:48:06,130
And then I tried to read the reviews,

1340
00:48:06,130 --> 00:48:08,105
and somebody was mean about you

1341
00:48:08,724 --> 00:48:10,644
in one of our reviews. And then I

1342
00:48:10,644 --> 00:48:12,565
learned I can't read the reviews because then

1343
00:48:12,565 --> 00:48:14,724
I have to hate humanity and wanna crawl

1344
00:48:14,724 --> 00:48:17,204
through my phone because who the fuck is

1345
00:48:17,204 --> 00:48:19,844
gonna be mean about my daddy? Because that's

1346
00:48:19,844 --> 00:48:21,670
not allowed. And that was the last time

1347
00:48:21,670 --> 00:48:23,449
I ever read a review.

1348
00:48:26,789 --> 00:48:27,849
So for anybody

1349
00:48:28,230 --> 00:48:30,949
who writes reviews, uses reviews, go for it,

1350
00:48:30,949 --> 00:48:32,390
please. It's what they're there for. They are

1351
00:48:32,390 --> 00:48:33,989
not for me. They are for you to

1352
00:48:33,989 --> 00:48:35,775
decide. Is this really where I wanna

1353
00:48:36,974 --> 00:48:38,815
be? But, yeah, if anybody out there who

1354
00:48:38,894 --> 00:48:40,734
because I I when that last time I

1355
00:48:40,734 --> 00:48:42,335
read reviews, a couple of them were written

1356
00:48:42,335 --> 00:48:43,694
like somebody thought I was gonna be reading

1357
00:48:43,694 --> 00:48:45,474
them and would just be taking notes

1358
00:48:45,934 --> 00:48:47,214
to do what they thought I needed to

1359
00:48:47,214 --> 00:48:49,289
do. And I was like, that's not how

1360
00:48:49,289 --> 00:48:50,750
I'm gonna do that. That's

1361
00:48:51,530 --> 00:48:53,070
mm-mm. And the thing is,

1362
00:48:55,050 --> 00:48:57,550
because I listen to podcasts, because I do

1363
00:48:57,690 --> 00:48:59,849
try to learn these things, I am actually

1364
00:48:59,849 --> 00:49:01,550
quite aware of everything I consider

1365
00:49:01,925 --> 00:49:03,784
a not great thing about this podcast,

1366
00:49:04,164 --> 00:49:06,804
and I keep doing it. Why? Because let

1367
00:49:06,804 --> 00:49:08,244
me give you an example about what this

1368
00:49:08,244 --> 00:49:10,085
podcast is for me, and I think a

1369
00:49:10,085 --> 00:49:11,065
little bit for you.

1370
00:49:11,764 --> 00:49:13,764
Today was a rough day for me. Bad

1371
00:49:13,764 --> 00:49:15,605
headache, 2 hour nap. I don't take naps

1372
00:49:15,605 --> 00:49:16,664
in the middle of the day.

1373
00:49:17,139 --> 00:49:18,260
Even though it was a good day, the

1374
00:49:18,260 --> 00:49:20,260
kid went to a doctor's appointment and basically

1375
00:49:20,260 --> 00:49:22,260
got the all clear. Like, hey. As long

1376
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:23,619
as you continue on this track, I don't

1377
00:49:23,619 --> 00:49:25,300
have to see you again Right. Ever if

1378
00:49:25,300 --> 00:49:26,739
you don't want to. Right? Like, it was

1379
00:49:26,739 --> 00:49:28,199
a that part was a good day.

1380
00:49:29,315 --> 00:49:30,835
But other things are going on, and it's

1381
00:49:31,155 --> 00:49:31,655
so

1382
00:49:32,235 --> 00:49:32,735
at

1383
00:49:33,875 --> 00:49:36,195
we I did the 2 hour nap, and

1384
00:49:36,195 --> 00:49:38,114
I'm like, we're supposed to record a Monday

1385
00:49:38,114 --> 00:49:40,135
episode, and we're gonna do the podcast.

1386
00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:43,409
The thing that was never on the chopping

1387
00:49:43,409 --> 00:49:45,329
block for the week was the podcast. It

1388
00:49:45,329 --> 00:49:48,610
was never never ever. I sent to JB,

1389
00:49:48,610 --> 00:49:50,449
like, hi. Are you okay if we don't

1390
00:49:50,449 --> 00:49:52,610
record the Monday podcast? Will we record it

1391
00:49:52,610 --> 00:49:54,309
before Monday? I don't know. Maybe

1392
00:49:54,610 --> 00:49:55,809
we might not. There might not be a

1393
00:49:55,809 --> 00:49:56,630
Monday episode

1394
00:49:57,010 --> 00:49:58,605
because if I'm going

1395
00:49:59,144 --> 00:50:01,305
to pick where to put my energy on

1396
00:50:01,305 --> 00:50:02,285
a on a Wednesday,

1397
00:50:02,905 --> 00:50:05,005
it will be here every fucking time.

1398
00:50:05,305 --> 00:50:07,224
Because one, it's a time when I get

1399
00:50:07,224 --> 00:50:08,285
to look JB

1400
00:50:08,664 --> 00:50:11,070
in the little eyeballs there, his baby blues,

1401
00:50:11,070 --> 00:50:14,590
and go, let's focus on this interesting topic

1402
00:50:14,590 --> 00:50:16,349
to us. Right? Let's talk about our relationship.

1403
00:50:16,349 --> 00:50:18,590
Let's maybe get some stuff off our chest.

1404
00:50:18,590 --> 00:50:20,210
That has happened in these episodes.

1405
00:50:20,670 --> 00:50:22,289
But, also, this is the time

1406
00:50:22,644 --> 00:50:23,704
where I know for myself,

1407
00:50:24,085 --> 00:50:26,525
I'm connected to our community. Yes. Even y'alls

1408
00:50:26,724 --> 00:50:28,565
y'all lurkers who have never once said a

1409
00:50:28,565 --> 00:50:30,164
word, you don't have to. It's okay. I

1410
00:50:30,164 --> 00:50:31,144
too am a lurker.

1411
00:50:32,005 --> 00:50:33,925
Not all of us answer our phone when

1412
00:50:33,925 --> 00:50:35,545
it fucking rings. What the hell?

1413
00:50:36,805 --> 00:50:37,590
Like a psychopath.

1414
00:50:39,989 --> 00:50:42,230
He also answers the door when somebody rings

1415
00:50:42,230 --> 00:50:42,890
the doorbell.

1416
00:50:43,269 --> 00:50:44,489
What even is that?

1417
00:50:45,829 --> 00:50:48,809
But, you know, I know that we're imperfect.

1418
00:50:49,030 --> 00:50:51,125
I know that we're chaotic. I know we're

1419
00:50:51,125 --> 00:50:53,545
not everybody's cup of tea. And I have

1420
00:50:54,405 --> 00:50:57,545
become a lot more comfortable with that because

1421
00:50:58,484 --> 00:51:00,505
I know we actually have helped people.

1422
00:51:01,284 --> 00:51:03,559
I don't know how much we've directly, like,

1423
00:51:03,559 --> 00:51:05,400
given somebody an answer that they were looking

1424
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:07,079
for. I hope they have if they've asked

1425
00:51:07,079 --> 00:51:09,480
us a question and sought an answer. But

1426
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:11,559
I know mostly that a lot of people

1427
00:51:11,559 --> 00:51:13,079
feel a whole hell of a lot less

1428
00:51:13,079 --> 00:51:15,900
alone in how they experience their power exchange.

1429
00:51:16,519 --> 00:51:17,019
And

1430
00:51:17,775 --> 00:51:18,275
I

1431
00:51:18,655 --> 00:51:20,255
I I might be coming down with something

1432
00:51:20,255 --> 00:51:22,255
because, like, I've got a earache and a

1433
00:51:22,255 --> 00:51:23,775
post nasal drip thing, and I just have

1434
00:51:23,775 --> 00:51:25,375
not been feeling good. But, 1, I'm not

1435
00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:27,375
feeling that right now at all. I mean,

1436
00:51:27,375 --> 00:51:29,295
I'm sweaty as hell, but it's the lights,

1437
00:51:29,295 --> 00:51:29,789
and that's

1438
00:51:30,989 --> 00:51:32,910
the it's the air about me. Like, I

1439
00:51:32,910 --> 00:51:33,949
know who I know who I am. I

1440
00:51:33,949 --> 00:51:34,849
know what I am.

1441
00:51:35,789 --> 00:51:38,989
And yet I don't kinda care how I

1442
00:51:38,989 --> 00:51:39,489
feel.

1443
00:51:39,949 --> 00:51:41,789
This will be the most energizing thing, one

1444
00:51:41,789 --> 00:51:42,989
I've done all day and probably will do

1445
00:51:42,989 --> 00:51:44,210
all week. And this is

1446
00:51:44,590 --> 00:51:46,164
it's not even a question. Like, on our

1447
00:51:46,164 --> 00:51:48,264
worst days, we're like, oh, no. We're podcasting.

1448
00:51:48,484 --> 00:51:51,304
Like, oh, we'll just drag our, you know,

1449
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:55,065
dang up, sweaty, feverish bodies in this office.

1450
00:51:55,525 --> 00:51:57,605
We will crawl up the side of our

1451
00:51:57,605 --> 00:51:59,599
little IKEA table, $27

1452
00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:01,819
special back when they still had prices like

1453
00:52:01,819 --> 00:52:03,519
that, and we will

1454
00:52:03,819 --> 00:52:04,319
be

1455
00:52:05,420 --> 00:52:07,819
weirdos on the Internet. Let's check out there.

1456
00:52:07,819 --> 00:52:08,319
Mhmm.

1457
00:52:09,819 --> 00:52:11,684
And so, yeah, if anybody's ever like, how

1458
00:52:11,684 --> 00:52:13,364
have you done this for 9 years? That's

1459
00:52:13,364 --> 00:52:13,864
how.

1460
00:52:14,325 --> 00:52:16,085
That's how. And and, you know, I think

1461
00:52:16,085 --> 00:52:16,744
for me,

1462
00:52:17,125 --> 00:52:18,744
on that on that note,

1463
00:52:20,085 --> 00:52:21,945
you know, since we started this

1464
00:52:23,940 --> 00:52:26,199
this podcast and and talking about

1465
00:52:26,659 --> 00:52:29,320
our lifestyle and and the lifestyle in general,

1466
00:52:31,699 --> 00:52:34,820
the the people that we've met over the

1467
00:52:34,820 --> 00:52:37,059
years that, you know, from have followed us

1468
00:52:37,059 --> 00:52:38,414
and, you know,

1469
00:52:39,914 --> 00:52:41,054
just fellow podcasters

1470
00:52:41,355 --> 00:52:43,835
that we've met and and, you know, the

1471
00:52:43,835 --> 00:52:45,775
people that we've met through the years.

1472
00:52:46,234 --> 00:52:47,775
And and it's just been amazing,

1473
00:52:48,074 --> 00:52:50,815
you know. It it's been absolutely wonderful. Mhmm.

1474
00:52:51,260 --> 00:52:52,960
For all that I was, you know,

1475
00:52:53,339 --> 00:52:55,420
cautioning earlier about how the Internet can be

1476
00:52:55,420 --> 00:52:55,920
awful,

1477
00:52:56,460 --> 00:52:58,400
some of the most

1478
00:53:00,380 --> 00:53:00,880
open,

1479
00:53:01,900 --> 00:53:02,400
nonjudgmental,

1480
00:53:03,179 --> 00:53:04,765
just just accept you as you fucking are

1481
00:53:04,765 --> 00:53:06,364
kind of people that I've come across online

1482
00:53:06,364 --> 00:53:07,824
and in person have been kinksters.

1483
00:53:08,525 --> 00:53:10,864
Like, bar none have been fucking kinksters.

1484
00:53:12,445 --> 00:53:12,945
Like,

1485
00:53:13,724 --> 00:53:15,659
I spend a great deal of time, like,

1486
00:53:16,539 --> 00:53:18,780
kind of apologizing for my being weird, you

1487
00:53:18,780 --> 00:53:20,219
know, being weird on the Internet. Right? Not

1488
00:53:20,219 --> 00:53:21,659
for being kinky. Feel like that. I'm not

1489
00:53:21,659 --> 00:53:23,500
apologizing for that shit. But for being weird

1490
00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:24,619
on the Internet, and there's always stuff that's

1491
00:53:24,619 --> 00:53:26,059
like, you don't have to apologize for that.

1492
00:53:26,059 --> 00:53:27,980
I see you. I'm I am you. Yeah.

1493
00:53:27,980 --> 00:53:28,799
We're all good.

1494
00:53:29,765 --> 00:53:30,505
And that

1495
00:53:31,204 --> 00:53:32,724
it can be jarring to go into other

1496
00:53:32,724 --> 00:53:33,224
spaces

1497
00:53:33,765 --> 00:53:35,125
these days. Now part of it is I

1498
00:53:35,125 --> 00:53:35,625
have

1499
00:53:36,324 --> 00:53:37,465
intentionally or unintentionally,

1500
00:53:38,005 --> 00:53:38,824
my algorithmic

1501
00:53:39,285 --> 00:53:42,005
whatever surroundings are very curated because I only

1502
00:53:42,005 --> 00:53:43,285
look at the things I wanna look at,

1503
00:53:43,285 --> 00:53:45,269
and I'm getting much better at blocking shit

1504
00:53:45,269 --> 00:53:47,110
I don't wanna see. So it's a bit

1505
00:53:47,110 --> 00:53:49,349
of a bubble. Like, because I know god.

1506
00:53:49,349 --> 00:53:51,269
I know there's judgment in the kink community,

1507
00:53:51,269 --> 00:53:52,710
and I know there are assholes. And I

1508
00:53:52,710 --> 00:53:54,710
know I know all of that exists. I

1509
00:53:54,710 --> 00:53:55,610
do see that.

1510
00:53:56,885 --> 00:53:59,364
But, yeah, like, we were like, no. No.

1511
00:53:59,364 --> 00:54:01,684
Kayla's our weirdo from the Internet. This is

1512
00:54:01,684 --> 00:54:03,944
fine. They're like, oh, good. Thank you.

1513
00:54:04,405 --> 00:54:05,224
Thank you.

1514
00:54:05,525 --> 00:54:07,925
And I think that's why this is this

1515
00:54:07,925 --> 00:54:09,420
is the place we're gonna be

1516
00:54:10,059 --> 00:54:12,639
almost regardless of what's going on. Right? Like,

1517
00:54:13,339 --> 00:54:13,839
I

1518
00:54:14,619 --> 00:54:17,099
I will have a million thoughts about how

1519
00:54:17,099 --> 00:54:18,400
it should be done better,

1520
00:54:18,859 --> 00:54:21,500
or was that actually helpful to anybody, or

1521
00:54:21,500 --> 00:54:23,819
what even was the point, or, like, all

1522
00:54:23,819 --> 00:54:25,335
of that. And yet

1523
00:54:26,275 --> 00:54:27,094
the vibe

1524
00:54:27,394 --> 00:54:28,614
the vibe in

1525
00:54:28,994 --> 00:54:31,175
the community spaces we inhabit,

1526
00:54:32,914 --> 00:54:34,594
it's like there's no other place I wanna

1527
00:54:34,594 --> 00:54:35,735
be. Mhmm. Mm-mm.

1528
00:54:36,835 --> 00:54:37,815
Mhmm. Mhmm.

1529
00:54:39,155 --> 00:54:39,474
So

1530
00:54:41,890 --> 00:54:44,530
mister Spock pointed something out that I know

1531
00:54:44,530 --> 00:54:45,890
to be true at least one time as

1532
00:54:45,890 --> 00:54:48,050
well, mister Spock. Mister Spock in live chat

1533
00:54:48,050 --> 00:54:49,250
says, I feel the need to point out

1534
00:54:49,250 --> 00:54:51,090
that you're probably responsible for at least a

1535
00:54:51,090 --> 00:54:52,824
few couples in your 9 years, though I

1536
00:54:52,824 --> 00:54:54,045
can only speak to 1.

1537
00:54:55,304 --> 00:54:56,605
That that may be true.

1538
00:54:57,385 --> 00:54:59,244
We can only speak to 1 as well.

1539
00:54:59,465 --> 00:55:00,364
We see you.

1540
00:55:01,704 --> 00:55:03,385
But, yeah, that you know, that's the thing.

1541
00:55:03,385 --> 00:55:05,599
I I don't I don't ever want, like,

1542
00:55:05,599 --> 00:55:06,260
our Discord

1543
00:55:06,559 --> 00:55:09,039
server or community through our Patreon. Yes. Go

1544
00:55:09,039 --> 00:55:10,640
take care of your girl. Lola is full

1545
00:55:10,640 --> 00:55:11,300
of opinions

1546
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:12,340
tonight.

1547
00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:14,960
I don't wanna speak for it too much

1548
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:15,460
because

1549
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,660
people change and things happen, whatever.

1550
00:55:18,965 --> 00:55:20,005
But the vibe is

1551
00:55:20,724 --> 00:55:22,485
better be real low pressure in there. It's

1552
00:55:22,485 --> 00:55:24,505
not a dating scene. It's not a

1553
00:55:24,965 --> 00:55:27,125
hookup scene. It's not a whatever. But everybody

1554
00:55:27,125 --> 00:55:28,804
in there is adults and people take things

1555
00:55:28,804 --> 00:55:30,105
to DMs. And, yeah,

1556
00:55:30,724 --> 00:55:31,224
stuff,

1557
00:55:31,605 --> 00:55:32,105
mutually

1558
00:55:32,565 --> 00:55:33,065
beneficial,

1559
00:55:33,510 --> 00:55:36,170
consensual, happy things have happened there. Right?

1560
00:55:36,469 --> 00:55:38,969
And I I fucking love that. You know?

1561
00:55:40,070 --> 00:55:42,230
We didn't do anything but facilitate it, and

1562
00:55:42,230 --> 00:55:43,369
I'm here for that.

1563
00:55:44,789 --> 00:55:45,610
So yeah.

1564
00:55:46,230 --> 00:55:46,730
Yeah.

1565
00:55:48,114 --> 00:55:48,614
Yeah.

1566
00:55:49,075 --> 00:55:49,575
Yeah.

1567
00:55:51,555 --> 00:55:53,315
Anything else you'd like to add? I don't

1568
00:55:53,315 --> 00:55:55,474
think so. Could I could I gush about

1569
00:55:55,474 --> 00:55:57,315
my love for doing this podcast and also

1570
00:55:57,315 --> 00:55:59,474
all of my insecurities all night long? Yes.

1571
00:55:59,474 --> 00:56:01,430
I could. Well, I'm not gonna. I'm not

1572
00:56:01,430 --> 00:56:02,570
gonna. Thank you.

1573
00:56:03,190 --> 00:56:04,809
I'm not quite that comfortable,

1574
00:56:07,829 --> 00:56:09,849
laying bare all of my insecurities

1575
00:56:10,390 --> 00:56:13,369
in one place because the Internet is forever.

1576
00:56:14,825 --> 00:56:15,485
But yeah.

1577
00:56:16,985 --> 00:56:18,845
Yeah. I guess that's it, and we can

1578
00:56:18,985 --> 00:56:21,305
we can do a bonus section, which was

1579
00:56:21,305 --> 00:56:22,525
born from criticism

1580
00:56:23,224 --> 00:56:24,204
of the podcast,

1581
00:56:24,505 --> 00:56:26,425
but it was I it was delivered in

1582
00:56:26,425 --> 00:56:27,690
a way I was open to it, so

1583
00:56:27,690 --> 00:56:29,690
just saying. I mean, there's there's a, you

1584
00:56:29,690 --> 00:56:31,710
know, I I think that's one of the

1585
00:56:31,769 --> 00:56:32,269
the

1586
00:56:35,369 --> 00:56:36,989
with the Internet, you know, you

1587
00:56:37,690 --> 00:56:38,909
you get people who

1588
00:56:39,305 --> 00:56:42,105
are capable of giving you giving someone online

1589
00:56:42,105 --> 00:56:42,605
constructive

1590
00:56:43,144 --> 00:56:45,385
criticism. You know? And, unfortunately, you had people

1591
00:56:45,385 --> 00:56:47,005
that just opened their mouth and

1592
00:56:47,545 --> 00:56:49,625
Yeah. You know? Yeah. And, you know, it

1593
00:56:49,625 --> 00:56:51,305
it did help. That person was one of

1594
00:56:51,305 --> 00:56:53,545
our OG listeners. I have no idea if

1595
00:56:53,545 --> 00:56:55,500
they're still around. Hi. If you are, you

1596
00:56:55,500 --> 00:56:56,940
know who you are. You have to know

1597
00:56:56,940 --> 00:56:58,699
who you are. Right? Because it went from

1598
00:56:58,699 --> 00:57:01,179
me having a million asides, just trying to

1599
00:57:01,179 --> 00:57:03,420
get through 2 sentences. Mhmm. Look. I have

1600
00:57:03,420 --> 00:57:05,500
half a million asides now. I've I've cut

1601
00:57:05,500 --> 00:57:06,239
way back.

1602
00:57:07,179 --> 00:57:09,119
To putting most of those asides

1603
00:57:10,275 --> 00:57:11,894
into the bonus section. So

1604
00:57:13,554 --> 00:57:14,054
yeah.

1605
00:57:15,875 --> 00:57:18,594
So Been quite the journey. It has been.

1606
00:57:18,594 --> 00:57:19,074
And,

1607
00:57:21,154 --> 00:57:23,635
I you know, anything anything can happen and

1608
00:57:23,635 --> 00:57:25,074
life changes on a dime and blah blah

1609
00:57:25,074 --> 00:57:26,135
blah. But, like,

1610
00:57:27,039 --> 00:57:28,319
I there's not a part of me that

1611
00:57:28,319 --> 00:57:29,299
can actually imagine

1612
00:57:29,839 --> 00:57:31,280
what it would take and how it would

1613
00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:32,960
happen for for us not to do this.

1614
00:57:32,960 --> 00:57:34,960
I'm sure that that day will come in

1615
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:36,019
a distant future.

1616
00:57:37,199 --> 00:57:39,045
But I'm already, like, no. No. I'm gonna

1617
00:57:39,045 --> 00:57:41,684
remember our 10th year 10th anniversary. Watch me

1618
00:57:41,684 --> 00:57:43,925
fucking forget. All y'all can laugh at me

1619
00:57:43,925 --> 00:57:46,025
if a year from now, I have forgotten

1620
00:57:46,324 --> 00:57:47,385
August 15th

1621
00:57:48,005 --> 00:57:48,505
again.

1622
00:57:49,844 --> 00:57:52,244
It's fine. I will deserve being laughed at

1623
00:57:52,244 --> 00:57:53,945
if this happens again next year.

1624
00:57:55,099 --> 00:57:56,480
So all of that.

1625
00:57:57,099 --> 00:57:58,460
Are you ready to go into a bonus

1626
00:57:58,460 --> 00:58:00,780
section? Yes. Are you gonna put a reminder

1627
00:58:00,780 --> 00:58:02,780
in your phone? You better have like a

1628
00:58:02,940 --> 00:58:04,480
Not not in the phone.

1629
00:58:04,860 --> 00:58:06,800
In our community calendar.

1630
00:58:07,704 --> 00:58:09,625
Okay. Well, you wanna put a reminder for

1631
00:58:09,625 --> 00:58:12,184
that event, like, more than a day in

1632
00:58:12,184 --> 00:58:13,244
advance. Yes.

1633
00:58:17,065 --> 00:58:19,964
Oh gosh. It looks like the

1634
00:58:20,849 --> 00:58:23,730
next year Mhmm. August 15th will fall on

1635
00:58:23,730 --> 00:58:24,390
a Friday.

1636
00:58:24,690 --> 00:58:26,530
Oh, gosh. It's perfect. And it should be

1637
00:58:26,530 --> 00:58:28,390
the night of our Friday night hangout.

1638
00:58:29,490 --> 00:58:31,250
Oh, as long as we're still doing that

1639
00:58:31,250 --> 00:58:33,554
too. You know what? Time has no meaning,

1640
00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:35,074
and I there are things I would tell

1641
00:58:35,074 --> 00:58:36,755
you that happened, like, 6 months ago, a

1642
00:58:36,755 --> 00:58:37,335
year ago,

1643
00:58:37,714 --> 00:58:40,914
topics we've covered or just what silly little

1644
00:58:40,914 --> 00:58:42,914
things. And I'll go look at the history.

1645
00:58:42,914 --> 00:58:44,355
I'll need to go find, like, an episode

1646
00:58:44,355 --> 00:58:46,469
to link to or something something. And I'm

1647
00:58:46,469 --> 00:58:48,409
like, what the fuck? That was 2022?

1648
00:58:49,429 --> 00:58:51,190
What in his life? I thought that was,

1649
00:58:51,190 --> 00:58:51,690
like,

1650
00:58:52,230 --> 00:58:53,210
2 months ago.

1651
00:58:53,909 --> 00:58:54,409
So,

1652
00:58:57,109 --> 00:58:59,255
see, that that makes it perfect for the

1653
00:58:59,255 --> 00:58:59,835
10th anniversary.

1654
00:59:00,614 --> 00:59:03,335
Let's let's be real that it for 15th

1655
00:59:03,335 --> 00:59:04,934
to be on a Friday and it to

1656
00:59:04,934 --> 00:59:06,715
be the 3rd Friday of the month,

1657
00:59:07,494 --> 00:59:07,994
livestream,

1658
00:59:08,295 --> 00:59:10,215
that that will be a big celebration. I

1659
00:59:10,215 --> 00:59:12,119
don't know what what. Probably just me going,

1660
00:59:12,119 --> 00:59:13,719
I'm so happy, and that'll be what I

1661
00:59:13,719 --> 00:59:14,539
call a celebration.

1662
00:59:14,839 --> 00:59:16,380
I don't know. Mhmm.

1663
00:59:18,039 --> 00:59:19,719
Mhmm. Oh my god. Did you cover her

1664
00:59:19,719 --> 00:59:22,199
up and she took a nap? Yeah. She's

1665
00:59:22,199 --> 00:59:23,099
like a toddler.

1666
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:24,885
I swallowed her up. She came in. She'd

1667
00:59:24,885 --> 00:59:26,244
never got there. I swallowed her up in

1668
00:59:26,244 --> 00:59:27,864
the blankets and she settled down.

1669
00:59:28,164 --> 00:59:31,045
Oh my god. Like a true pity. Note

1670
00:59:31,045 --> 00:59:33,144
to self, if I ever get a little,

1671
00:59:33,925 --> 00:59:36,085
wacky and wild, just swaddle me up and

1672
00:59:36,085 --> 00:59:37,385
make me take a nap.

1673
00:59:37,684 --> 00:59:38,969
I'll probably calm right now.

1674
00:59:40,889 --> 00:59:41,949
She is, y'all.

1675
00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:43,389
She is like

1676
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:47,369
her ears flopped over. She's leaning against her

1677
00:59:47,369 --> 00:59:47,869
paw.

1678
00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:48,750
Mhmm.

1679
00:59:49,130 --> 00:59:50,250
Okay. Okay. Let's

1680
00:59:50,889 --> 00:59:52,109
so are we good?

1681
00:59:52,650 --> 00:59:53,974
And you've been asking me that for a

1682
00:59:53,974 --> 00:59:55,655
very long time, and I still don't know.

1683
00:59:55,655 --> 00:59:56,795
9 years. Yeah.

1684
00:59:57,815 --> 00:59:58,795
Holy shit.

1685
01:00:00,775 --> 01:00:01,275
Sure.

1686
01:00:02,055 --> 01:00:04,055
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you

1687
01:00:04,055 --> 01:00:04,795
next week.

1688
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:16,260
Daddy. Yes, baby girl.

1689
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:18,800
Can we keep talking to the Kirke? Yes.

1690
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:19,940
We can. Okay.

1691
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,179
What do you have to talk about?

1692
01:00:24,454 --> 01:00:25,815
I mean, I could go through all my

1693
01:00:25,815 --> 01:00:28,055
existential crises with y'all, but I think that

1694
01:00:28,055 --> 01:00:29,894
gets a little boring after all. I I

1695
01:00:29,894 --> 01:00:31,894
think first off, I just wanna say to

1696
01:00:31,894 --> 01:00:34,775
everybody out there in in YouTube land and

1697
01:00:34,775 --> 01:00:38,150
podcast land, I apologize for Lola, the way

1698
01:00:38,150 --> 01:00:39,929
she's been lately. Oh my god.

1699
01:00:40,469 --> 01:00:42,730
What what has been going on with her

1700
01:00:43,349 --> 01:00:43,849
is,

1701
01:00:45,269 --> 01:00:45,769
since

1702
01:00:47,030 --> 01:00:48,869
we have been, you know, trying to get

1703
01:00:48,869 --> 01:00:50,170
her to lose weight,

1704
01:00:50,555 --> 01:00:51,454
I have been, you know,

1705
01:00:52,155 --> 01:00:52,655
very

1706
01:00:53,515 --> 01:00:55,614
structured about her walks. Mhmm.

1707
01:00:58,715 --> 01:00:59,215
Mhmm.

1708
01:00:59,595 --> 01:01:01,855
And obviously, on Wednesday evenings,

1709
01:01:02,394 --> 01:01:04,155
you know, we we eat dinner and right

1710
01:01:04,155 --> 01:01:05,295
after dinner we record

1711
01:01:05,675 --> 01:01:07,920
the the the q and a. If we

1712
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:09,539
do it, we do it. Yeah.

1713
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:12,000
And and then we're here doing the podcast,

1714
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:12,500
so

1715
01:01:12,800 --> 01:01:15,139
it's impossible for us to walk her

1716
01:01:15,599 --> 01:01:17,599
or me to walk her. Well and that's

1717
01:01:17,599 --> 01:01:19,300
because it's the summer. When it's

1718
01:01:19,599 --> 01:01:21,764
fall winter, it'll be cooler. You can go

1719
01:01:21,764 --> 01:01:23,364
earlier in the day, and it won't matter.

1720
01:01:23,364 --> 01:01:25,364
But, yeah, it matters right now. You know,

1721
01:01:25,364 --> 01:01:27,625
last last Wednesday, I tried

1722
01:01:28,405 --> 01:01:30,344
taking her out during the day.

1723
01:01:31,684 --> 01:01:33,045
We went we went on a road you

1724
01:01:33,045 --> 01:01:34,344
know, a little road trip.

1725
01:01:34,739 --> 01:01:36,360
Her and I, didn't work.

1726
01:01:36,900 --> 01:01:39,380
So, you know, she has she has become

1727
01:01:39,380 --> 01:01:41,059
used to her walks, which is a good

1728
01:01:41,059 --> 01:01:41,960
thing. Mhmm.

1729
01:01:42,260 --> 01:01:43,699
But when she doesn't get them, she gets

1730
01:01:43,699 --> 01:01:46,340
very insistent about wanting them. And more so

1731
01:01:46,340 --> 01:01:48,434
than she did when she was younger. Yeah.

1732
01:01:48,434 --> 01:01:50,674
I think it's her middle aged lady self

1733
01:01:50,674 --> 01:01:53,074
going, bitch, this is my routine. Right. And

1734
01:01:53,074 --> 01:01:54,594
you are not gonna fuck up my routine.

1735
01:01:54,594 --> 01:01:56,755
I plan my whole day around this. She

1736
01:01:56,755 --> 01:01:58,855
would have been like my great grandmother

1737
01:01:59,269 --> 01:02:01,670
who absolutely was eating her dinner at, like,

1738
01:02:01,670 --> 01:02:02,170
4:35

1739
01:02:02,710 --> 01:02:04,089
watching Wheel of Fortune.

1740
01:02:04,630 --> 01:02:06,630
When Jeopardy came on, that is when you

1741
01:02:06,630 --> 01:02:07,609
got ice cream,

1742
01:02:08,309 --> 01:02:11,394
usually vanilla, sometimes butter pecan. And if that

1743
01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:13,335
is not how the evening went,

1744
01:02:14,275 --> 01:02:15,715
the the evening was ruined. What were we

1745
01:02:15,715 --> 01:02:16,535
even doing?

1746
01:02:17,155 --> 01:02:17,655
Uh-uh.

1747
01:02:18,114 --> 01:02:18,614
Anyway.

1748
01:02:19,155 --> 01:02:21,715
So but, yeah, that that's kinda what's been

1749
01:02:21,715 --> 01:02:23,875
going on with her and why she has

1750
01:02:23,875 --> 01:02:26,900
been so vocal on Wednesday evenings.

1751
01:02:27,199 --> 01:02:28,960
So podcast listeners, this

1752
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:31,840
I don't know how much of her a

1753
01:02:31,840 --> 01:02:33,840
wooing JB was able to cut from the

1754
01:02:33,840 --> 01:02:35,539
Monday episode for this week.

1755
01:02:36,079 --> 01:02:37,364
I was able to cut

1756
01:02:37,844 --> 01:02:39,525
most, if not not all. There are a

1757
01:02:39,525 --> 01:02:41,125
couple of moments in the video. But what

1758
01:02:41,125 --> 01:02:42,804
I did for the video, for anybody who

1759
01:02:42,804 --> 01:02:44,565
maybe hasn't watched it yet or you're like,

1760
01:02:44,565 --> 01:02:45,764
oh, I don't watch the video. This is

1761
01:02:45,764 --> 01:02:46,744
the pocket. Or

1762
01:02:47,125 --> 01:02:48,885
the moment we start doing our our closing

1763
01:02:48,885 --> 01:02:50,644
spiel, you turn off. Fair, by the way.

1764
01:02:50,644 --> 01:02:52,105
You don't need to listen to our commercials

1765
01:02:52,244 --> 01:02:53,340
every fucking time. That's

1766
01:02:53,820 --> 01:02:55,500
bullshit. But I did a little thing where

1767
01:02:55,500 --> 01:02:57,500
I just did, like, some of her a

1768
01:02:57,500 --> 01:02:59,360
woos from trying to record that.

1769
01:03:01,019 --> 01:03:04,140
And I put, I think, 4 clips at

1770
01:03:04,140 --> 01:03:06,219
the end. Like, I was taking them out

1771
01:03:06,219 --> 01:03:07,355
of the main thing, and I was popping

1772
01:03:07,355 --> 01:03:09,114
in the end. And then I had to

1773
01:03:09,114 --> 01:03:11,434
stop, and I just started deleting all of

1774
01:03:11,434 --> 01:03:14,234
the Awoos. And there were, like Yeah. 4

1775
01:03:14,234 --> 01:03:16,714
or 5 more after that before we finally

1776
01:03:16,714 --> 01:03:17,454
got her

1777
01:03:18,154 --> 01:03:20,074
settled. Settled. Yeah. I was able to get

1778
01:03:20,074 --> 01:03:21,980
most of them out of the Okay. Out

1779
01:03:21,980 --> 01:03:23,579
of the podcast. If you would like to

1780
01:03:23,579 --> 01:03:26,780
just bask in Lola's Ah Wooing Yeah. It

1781
01:03:26,780 --> 01:03:27,280
is,

1782
01:03:29,019 --> 01:03:31,839
the what was Monday of this week,

1783
01:03:33,019 --> 01:03:33,519
19th?

1784
01:03:34,619 --> 01:03:37,505
August 19th video on our YouTube channel.

1785
01:03:38,525 --> 01:03:39,984
Just saying. Yeah.

1786
01:03:40,844 --> 01:03:41,565
So yeah. It

1787
01:03:42,284 --> 01:03:44,925
she was it's funny, but it is also

1788
01:03:44,925 --> 01:03:45,744
very frustrating.

1789
01:03:46,204 --> 01:03:48,925
So we are very routine oriented people. We

1790
01:03:48,925 --> 01:03:51,059
crap. We are just always trying to do

1791
01:03:51,059 --> 01:03:53,059
so much that we have tried to keep

1792
01:03:53,059 --> 01:03:54,199
a very strict schedule.

1793
01:03:55,059 --> 01:03:56,900
And I have just a brain that just

1794
01:03:56,900 --> 01:03:58,440
does better with that. So

1795
01:03:59,059 --> 01:04:01,239
it during the time we have to record,

1796
01:04:01,539 --> 01:04:04,280
that is the time we have to record.

1797
01:04:04,660 --> 01:04:07,744
And if miss Lola wants to, voice her

1798
01:04:07,744 --> 01:04:08,244
opinions,

1799
01:04:08,785 --> 01:04:10,465
we just have to work around it because

1800
01:04:10,465 --> 01:04:10,965
the

1801
01:04:11,345 --> 01:04:14,305
the act of trying to reschedule that for

1802
01:04:14,305 --> 01:04:16,385
another time is kind of a almost a

1803
01:04:16,385 --> 01:04:18,144
pain point of, like, what do we move,

1804
01:04:18,144 --> 01:04:19,345
and how do we do this, and can

1805
01:04:19,345 --> 01:04:20,885
we get our head in the game, and

1806
01:04:21,699 --> 01:04:24,039
and it just Yeah. Yeah. So And and

1807
01:04:24,180 --> 01:04:25,000
and, you know,

1808
01:04:25,699 --> 01:04:28,019
because of the way Lola is, she wants

1809
01:04:28,019 --> 01:04:29,940
to be in the room with us. Yes.

1810
01:04:29,940 --> 01:04:31,860
There's no just leaving her in another room.

1811
01:04:31,860 --> 01:04:33,880
She'd just be a wooing at the door,

1812
01:04:34,099 --> 01:04:36,019
wondering why we weren't letting her in. Right.

1813
01:04:36,019 --> 01:04:38,085
Yeah. Yeah. So It was I think it

1814
01:04:38,085 --> 01:04:40,164
was a little easier when we like, in

1815
01:04:40,164 --> 01:04:42,164
her early days with us, like, she would

1816
01:04:42,164 --> 01:04:43,765
go to her crate, and she would I

1817
01:04:43,765 --> 01:04:45,364
mean, I think we've even commented in past

1818
01:04:45,364 --> 01:04:47,445
episodes, like, she's just sleeping in her crate

1819
01:04:47,445 --> 01:04:48,965
right now. What the fuck? You know? Because

1820
01:04:48,965 --> 01:04:51,579
it's just Mhmm. Yeah. And I, you know,

1821
01:04:51,579 --> 01:04:53,579
I love having a dog that wants to

1822
01:04:53,579 --> 01:04:55,659
be with us. Oh, god. Speaking of miss

1823
01:04:55,659 --> 01:04:58,139
Lola and her wondering what the fuck is

1824
01:04:58,139 --> 01:05:00,300
happening with her walk. So she is not

1825
01:05:00,300 --> 01:05:02,219
a stupid girl. She's a very, very smart

1826
01:05:02,219 --> 01:05:03,980
girl, and she knows. Too smart for her

1827
01:05:03,980 --> 01:05:06,085
own good sometimes. God. Too smart for us.

1828
01:05:06,085 --> 01:05:08,164
I'm like, I'm a dumbass compared to my

1829
01:05:08,164 --> 01:05:08,664
dog.

1830
01:05:09,445 --> 01:05:09,945
She

1831
01:05:10,485 --> 01:05:10,985
knows

1832
01:05:11,285 --> 01:05:13,525
that when her daddy, because JB is her

1833
01:05:13,525 --> 01:05:15,224
daddy too, let's just be real,

1834
01:05:15,605 --> 01:05:18,805
is done doing the water things at the

1835
01:05:18,805 --> 01:05:20,824
sink in the kitchen, in the food place,

1836
01:05:21,170 --> 01:05:22,469
doing dishes at night.

1837
01:05:22,769 --> 01:05:25,010
They go for their walk. If he's gonna

1838
01:05:25,010 --> 01:05:25,670
do dishes,

1839
01:05:26,130 --> 01:05:29,010
it's after he's done dishes. Mhmm. Because he

1840
01:05:29,010 --> 01:05:30,710
doesn't do dishes every night now.

1841
01:05:31,410 --> 01:05:31,910
She

1842
01:05:32,369 --> 01:05:34,795
I went in to the bedroom to do,

1843
01:05:34,795 --> 01:05:36,715
I don't know what. I think put this

1844
01:05:36,715 --> 01:05:38,094
shirt on, quite frankly.

1845
01:05:38,394 --> 01:05:40,315
JB was at his desk here in the

1846
01:05:40,315 --> 01:05:40,815
office.

1847
01:05:41,994 --> 01:05:44,255
Lola, unbeknownst to both of us, was sitting

1848
01:05:45,035 --> 01:05:47,239
our dining area, air quote that because it's

1849
01:05:47,239 --> 01:05:49,000
not like some formal thing. But our dining

1850
01:05:49,000 --> 01:05:50,679
where our kitchen table is our where we

1851
01:05:50,679 --> 01:05:52,920
eat. And the kitchen, like, they're it's open

1852
01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:54,780
space. They're kinda all one and the same.

1853
01:05:55,079 --> 01:05:57,159
She's sitting in between those two spaces. Right

1854
01:05:57,159 --> 01:05:59,319
next to his chair, that's where he sits

1855
01:05:59,319 --> 01:06:02,204
and eats. And right by the refrigerator, quite

1856
01:06:02,204 --> 01:06:02,704
frankly.

1857
01:06:03,085 --> 01:06:03,585
Right.

1858
01:06:03,885 --> 01:06:05,405
And she's sitting there. And I we didn't

1859
01:06:05,405 --> 01:06:06,864
know she was there until

1860
01:06:07,244 --> 01:06:09,164
she didn't just a woo like y'all have

1861
01:06:09,164 --> 01:06:11,424
heard here tonight. She started doing her mournful,

1862
01:06:11,804 --> 01:06:13,344
soulful, I've been abandoned

1863
01:06:13,724 --> 01:06:14,224
cry.

1864
01:06:14,525 --> 01:06:18,160
Mhmm. We both come running. She is sitting

1865
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:20,320
in that space. And just turns and looks

1866
01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:22,720
at us like What? Man. And I was

1867
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:26,000
like, because this girl is smart and knew

1868
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,400
that this was the time she was supposed

1869
01:06:28,400 --> 01:06:29,840
to put her bra on, that's what we

1870
01:06:29,840 --> 01:06:31,724
call her harness, and go for her walk

1871
01:06:31,724 --> 01:06:33,804
and and get covered in fucking mosquitoes, which

1872
01:06:33,804 --> 01:06:35,904
apparently don't bother her. Mm-mm.

1873
01:06:37,244 --> 01:06:39,964
Yeah. Yeah. She's her she's her smart girl.

1874
01:06:39,964 --> 01:06:42,284
Mhmm. Yeah. A few times, she's even camped

1875
01:06:42,284 --> 01:06:44,769
out by the front door. Oh, yeah. Oh,

1876
01:06:45,389 --> 01:06:47,710
yeah. Yeah. Ready for her. Mm-mm. And,

1877
01:06:48,429 --> 01:06:50,289
you know, you you wanna see

1878
01:06:50,829 --> 01:06:53,309
somebody get excited, we have this little I

1879
01:06:53,309 --> 01:06:54,590
don't know what you would call it by

1880
01:06:54,590 --> 01:06:55,489
the front door.

1881
01:06:56,030 --> 01:06:57,375
I don't know what to call it either.

1882
01:06:57,375 --> 01:06:59,054
Yeah. So it's like a little table. It's

1883
01:06:59,054 --> 01:07:00,275
got 2 little drawers

1884
01:07:00,574 --> 01:07:02,175
there and, you know, it's where the keys

1885
01:07:02,175 --> 01:07:05,215
and stuff go. Mhmm. And, that's where I

1886
01:07:05,215 --> 01:07:08,815
keep her harness harness and leash. Mhmm. And

1887
01:07:08,815 --> 01:07:10,515
she hears me open that drawer,

1888
01:07:11,510 --> 01:07:12,809
those ears are up,

1889
01:07:13,349 --> 01:07:15,989
and she is moving. We basically can't keep

1890
01:07:15,989 --> 01:07:19,530
anything non dog related in those drawers because

1891
01:07:19,589 --> 01:07:22,710
if the drawer opens Yeah. That's a signal

1892
01:07:22,710 --> 01:07:23,769
to her. Mhmm.

1893
01:07:24,309 --> 01:07:25,210
Mhmm. Mhmm.

1894
01:07:26,015 --> 01:07:28,094
Oh my god. But she's such a good

1895
01:07:28,094 --> 01:07:30,035
girl. She is. We were gone

1896
01:07:30,815 --> 01:07:33,775
for the youngest doctor's appointment today during her

1897
01:07:33,775 --> 01:07:34,275
peak,

1898
01:07:34,974 --> 01:07:36,735
go out to the backyard, come inside, go

1899
01:07:36,735 --> 01:07:38,619
out to the backyard, come inside, go back

1900
01:07:38,619 --> 01:07:40,300
in the back and forth time that she

1901
01:07:40,300 --> 01:07:42,940
does, which is about between 10 AM and

1902
01:07:42,940 --> 01:07:45,019
until about 1 or 2 because she likes

1903
01:07:45,019 --> 01:07:47,260
to go be the baked potato that she

1904
01:07:47,260 --> 01:07:49,500
is and just sun herself. And she's in

1905
01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:50,780
and out, in and out, in and out.

1906
01:07:50,780 --> 01:07:53,208
Yeah. And she was we were gone that

1907
01:07:53,208 --> 01:07:55,316
whole time. We had to go to Gainesville

1908
01:07:55,316 --> 01:07:57,686
for this appointment. And, she, we got home.

1909
01:07:57,686 --> 01:07:59,794
She wasn't, like, demanding to go out. She

1910
01:07:59,794 --> 01:08:02,428
wasn't she was laying on the couch. She

1911
01:08:02,428 --> 01:08:04,535
just lift her head up, looked at us,

1912
01:08:04,535 --> 01:08:06,643
coming in. It's like, okay. She's such a

1913
01:08:06,643 --> 01:08:08,150
cool girl. Yeah. So

1914
01:08:09,409 --> 01:08:11,170
And and, you know, I I have to

1915
01:08:11,170 --> 01:08:13,489
answer this. You know, mister Spock made the,

1916
01:08:13,969 --> 01:08:16,770
made a comment about the phone ringing. Oh.

1917
01:08:16,770 --> 01:08:17,409
You know, that,

1918
01:08:18,369 --> 01:08:19,829
you know, whoever's phone

1919
01:08:20,364 --> 01:08:21,804
rings has to buy the crew a 6

1920
01:08:21,804 --> 01:08:22,304
pack.

1921
01:08:23,085 --> 01:08:24,764
I I guess I'm buying myself a 6

1922
01:08:24,764 --> 01:08:26,045
pack. You're buying me a 6 pack and

1923
01:08:26,045 --> 01:08:28,204
can it be that margarita flavored malt beverage

1924
01:08:28,204 --> 01:08:29,645
that we found at Publix that was Now

1925
01:08:29,645 --> 01:08:31,164
wait a second, you're not the crew, you're

1926
01:08:31,164 --> 01:08:34,199
the talent. I I'm the crew. I've I've,

1927
01:08:34,199 --> 01:08:36,519
you know, maintained all the equipment and all

1928
01:08:36,519 --> 01:08:38,939
that. I'm the one that does the script.

1929
01:08:39,159 --> 01:08:40,779
I'm in the writer's room.

1930
01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:42,059
I'm crew.

1931
01:08:43,479 --> 01:08:46,364
Hell, I'm so crew. I made sure that

1932
01:08:46,364 --> 01:08:48,204
one of the lights was on today because

1933
01:08:48,204 --> 01:08:48,704
the

1934
01:08:49,085 --> 01:08:51,164
crew didn't turn a light on before we

1935
01:08:51,164 --> 01:08:53,104
started recording. I'm just saying.

1936
01:08:55,724 --> 01:08:57,344
Oh, y'all. Okay.

1937
01:08:57,724 --> 01:08:59,804
I am submissive. I am submissive. I am

1938
01:08:59,804 --> 01:09:00,149
submissive

1939
01:09:00,710 --> 01:09:01,770
only to JB,

1940
01:09:02,710 --> 01:09:05,350
and I bullied him into, getting up this

1941
01:09:05,350 --> 01:09:07,449
morning to go on our walk. She did.

1942
01:09:07,989 --> 01:09:10,409
She did. Here's here's the thing. I,

1943
01:09:10,869 --> 01:09:13,029
1, did not think of it as bullying,

1944
01:09:13,029 --> 01:09:15,225
and I meant what I said. So Oh,

1945
01:09:15,225 --> 01:09:16,704
all all you really said was, you know

1946
01:09:16,784 --> 01:09:18,405
If you don't go, that's fine. I'm going

1947
01:09:19,105 --> 01:09:21,025
by myself is what I said. No. What

1948
01:09:21,105 --> 01:09:21,605
anyway

1949
01:09:22,625 --> 01:09:24,704
yeah. And then I think that what I

1950
01:09:24,704 --> 01:09:26,085
remembered was, you know,

1951
01:09:26,465 --> 01:09:28,625
you know it it helps you. It's good

1952
01:09:28,625 --> 01:09:30,479
for you. Yeah. I I definitely

1953
01:09:32,399 --> 01:09:35,060
wielded the tough love clause like a cudgel.

1954
01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:38,960
There's nothing delicate or subtle about me. So

1955
01:09:38,960 --> 01:09:40,739
he's like Dang it, mister Spot.

1956
01:09:41,119 --> 01:09:43,380
Yeah. Talent gets to drink the fizz.

1957
01:09:44,414 --> 01:09:44,914
Anyway,

1958
01:09:46,895 --> 01:09:48,814
so we went on our walk Monday, and

1959
01:09:48,814 --> 01:09:50,255
it was rough getting up. I don't think

1960
01:09:50,255 --> 01:09:51,774
either of us wanted to get up, but

1961
01:09:51,774 --> 01:09:53,475
we're out there. And then

1962
01:09:54,095 --> 01:09:56,095
we had to have a big serious important

1963
01:09:56,095 --> 01:09:57,635
stressful conversation yesterday.

1964
01:09:58,335 --> 01:10:00,030
And I know I hate doing those to

1965
01:10:00,030 --> 01:10:01,710
JB because he's not gonna sleep at night

1966
01:10:01,710 --> 01:10:03,789
after we have the conversation. And the rest

1967
01:10:03,789 --> 01:10:06,109
of the day, evening, whatever, he's completely deflated

1968
01:10:06,109 --> 01:10:08,609
as he should be. It's a tense moment.

1969
01:10:09,149 --> 01:10:10,845
So he's telling me last night,

1970
01:10:12,525 --> 01:10:14,525
as I'm I've worked well late into the

1971
01:10:14,525 --> 01:10:16,525
night, and he's like, okay. I'm I'm done.

1972
01:10:16,525 --> 01:10:17,664
You keep doing whatever.

1973
01:10:18,045 --> 01:10:18,784
He's like,

1974
01:10:19,565 --> 01:10:22,445
I I I don't you're tired. You're working

1975
01:10:22,445 --> 01:10:24,125
late. Because that was my favorite. He was

1976
01:10:24,125 --> 01:10:26,460
like and he's he was right. I was

1977
01:10:26,460 --> 01:10:28,300
tired. I was like, I think maybe we

1978
01:10:28,300 --> 01:10:29,979
just won't turn the alarm on in the

1979
01:10:29,979 --> 01:10:30,479
morning,

1980
01:10:30,859 --> 01:10:32,699
which means we won't be going on our

1981
01:10:32,699 --> 01:10:34,380
walk. And I went, no. No. I don't

1982
01:10:34,380 --> 01:10:36,159
think that's good. Well, you know,

1983
01:10:36,699 --> 01:10:39,100
you were working late last night. I knew

1984
01:10:39,100 --> 01:10:40,935
we had to go get up for the

1985
01:10:40,935 --> 01:10:42,614
doctor's appointment and had a lot of running

1986
01:10:42,614 --> 01:10:43,835
around. And I understood

1987
01:10:44,295 --> 01:10:46,295
your thinking about it. I just rejected it

1988
01:10:46,295 --> 01:10:47,675
completely. Yeah. You did.

1989
01:10:48,215 --> 01:10:49,655
Because I was like, this is the thing

1990
01:10:49,655 --> 01:10:51,255
that will help me focus today. This is

1991
01:10:51,255 --> 01:10:52,954
the thing that will help me wake up.

1992
01:10:53,015 --> 01:10:55,195
This is good for us actually,

1993
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,399
even though we hate it. And guess what,

1994
01:10:57,399 --> 01:10:59,020
y'all? We're not even waking up at 5:30

1995
01:10:59,079 --> 01:11:00,779
in the morning anymore. Thank you.

1996
01:11:01,159 --> 01:11:03,239
Fuck. That, I don't think I could have

1997
01:11:03,239 --> 01:11:04,619
sustained. Yeah. I know.

1998
01:11:05,319 --> 01:11:06,920
Because it just stays too dark. The sun

1999
01:11:06,920 --> 01:11:08,439
comes up so late right now. Now it

2000
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:10,119
yeah. It's just oh my god. You're just

2001
01:11:10,119 --> 01:11:11,625
walking Well, for a while there, it was

2002
01:11:11,704 --> 01:11:13,404
light at 5:30. Yeah. It was.

2003
01:11:14,265 --> 01:11:15,864
And I went and I said it it

2004
01:11:16,024 --> 01:11:17,145
and I did a sail there. It was

2005
01:11:17,225 --> 01:11:18,505
it's good for us. We need to do

2006
01:11:18,505 --> 01:11:19,784
it. I said, but if you don't wanna

2007
01:11:19,784 --> 01:11:21,085
go, that's fine.

2008
01:11:21,545 --> 01:11:22,444
If I can

2009
01:11:22,984 --> 01:11:24,664
get my shit together, I will get up

2010
01:11:24,664 --> 01:11:26,425
and go by myself. I will set my

2011
01:11:26,425 --> 01:11:26,925
alarm.

2012
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,239
So I set my alarm for 6:30. And

2013
01:11:29,239 --> 01:11:31,239
when my alarm goes off, his alarm goes

2014
01:11:31,239 --> 01:11:33,159
off. And I'm like because he didn't say

2015
01:11:33,159 --> 01:11:34,600
anything to me after that. No. We didn't

2016
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:36,220
talk about it again. I was just like,

2017
01:11:36,600 --> 01:11:38,119
you're the daddy and you're gonna do what

2018
01:11:38,119 --> 01:11:39,320
you're gonna do, and that's fine. But I'm

2019
01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:41,020
gonna do what I'm gonna do. Right?

2020
01:11:41,494 --> 01:11:43,414
I go, so he gets up and I

2021
01:11:43,414 --> 01:11:45,734
wait, because I don't know. I know what's

2022
01:11:45,734 --> 01:11:49,175
gonna happen in a morning based on which

2023
01:11:49,175 --> 01:11:50,454
clothes does he put on. Does he put

2024
01:11:50,454 --> 01:11:52,055
on his p we sleep naked y'all. Does

2025
01:11:52,055 --> 01:11:53,655
he put on his pj's or does he

2026
01:11:53,655 --> 01:11:55,300
put on his walking clothes? And when I

2027
01:11:55,300 --> 01:11:57,800
saw him pick up the bright ass fluorescent

2028
01:11:58,100 --> 01:11:59,800
green shorts, I went,

2029
01:12:00,260 --> 01:12:02,260
oh, are we going? He goes, yeah. We're

2030
01:12:02,260 --> 01:12:02,760
going.

2031
01:12:05,219 --> 01:12:07,060
And we went. And we went. And I've

2032
01:12:07,060 --> 01:12:10,125
had a, until this afternoon feeling like crap,

2033
01:12:10,425 --> 01:12:11,725
very productive morning.

2034
01:12:15,225 --> 01:12:17,145
So that tough love clause comes in clutch

2035
01:12:17,145 --> 01:12:18,685
sometimes. Oh, just saying.

2036
01:12:18,985 --> 01:12:20,664
If you're in a power exchange and you're

2037
01:12:20,664 --> 01:12:23,385
submissive and you're like, but my dom is

2038
01:12:23,385 --> 01:12:25,280
not doing the shit they need to do

2039
01:12:25,280 --> 01:12:27,600
for their own health. Tough little clause. Damn

2040
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:29,220
you. I fucking love that shit.

2041
01:12:30,159 --> 01:12:32,820
Smartest negotiation. I I will never have

2042
01:12:33,440 --> 01:12:35,440
as good or as smart of a moment

2043
01:12:35,440 --> 01:12:37,440
in my life as that moment right there

2044
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:40,324
because I you have to use it wisely.

2045
01:12:40,465 --> 01:12:42,225
You have to be judicious with it. You

2046
01:12:42,225 --> 01:12:44,064
can't just be yanking it out for every

2047
01:12:44,064 --> 01:12:45,984
fucking thing because then it loses its power.

2048
01:12:45,984 --> 01:12:47,904
But when it's his health and to his

2049
01:12:47,904 --> 01:12:49,204
benefit, oh, yes.

2050
01:12:49,664 --> 01:12:51,744
Tough love clause time. You better take care

2051
01:12:51,744 --> 01:12:53,824
of your fucking self. Okay? Because come hell,

2052
01:12:53,824 --> 01:12:55,444
high water or you get,

2053
01:12:55,800 --> 01:12:56,939
like, rickety,

2054
01:12:57,239 --> 01:12:59,340
you're staying with me through this

2055
01:12:59,800 --> 01:13:01,579
this morning. You know,

2056
01:13:02,119 --> 01:13:03,960
and and what I will say is at

2057
01:13:03,960 --> 01:13:06,520
least this morning we went out, it actually

2058
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:07,020
felt

2059
01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:09,635
nice. It was relatively pleasant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

2060
01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:10,215
The humidity

2061
01:13:10,994 --> 01:13:13,494
had had dropped during the night and,

2062
01:13:13,875 --> 01:13:16,274
you know, it felt comfortable. This is gonna

2063
01:13:16,274 --> 01:13:18,534
be so much fun when we get

2064
01:13:18,914 --> 01:13:21,234
closer to what our air quote fall really

2065
01:13:21,234 --> 01:13:22,994
is when the humidity drops. Because then it's,

2066
01:13:22,994 --> 01:13:25,729
like, it's exciting to go outside. You're like,

2067
01:13:25,729 --> 01:13:27,729
oh my god. I'm breathing air and not

2068
01:13:27,729 --> 01:13:29,510
wet cotton. This is delight.

2069
01:13:30,369 --> 01:13:32,449
I become a whole new human being Yeah.

2070
01:13:32,609 --> 01:13:34,930
When the humidity drops. I mean, we were

2071
01:13:34,930 --> 01:13:37,250
we were all things considered, we were fairly

2072
01:13:37,250 --> 01:13:37,750
lucky

2073
01:13:38,295 --> 01:13:39,735
this summer. Mhmm.

2074
01:13:42,135 --> 01:13:44,555
Our intense heat didn't really start until

2075
01:13:44,935 --> 01:13:46,775
August. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then and then

2076
01:13:46,775 --> 01:13:48,614
it got super intense. And it got super

2077
01:13:48,614 --> 01:13:50,935
intense, and I'm I'm done. I'm ready. I'm

2078
01:13:50,935 --> 01:13:51,675
over it.

2079
01:13:52,454 --> 01:13:55,090
I I've had enough of Florida summer. I

2080
01:13:55,090 --> 01:13:57,250
know. Right? And yet, no. We we will

2081
01:13:57,250 --> 01:13:59,489
continue to live here year after year. We're

2082
01:13:59,489 --> 01:14:01,909
not you know, I'm not gonna lie.

2083
01:14:02,289 --> 01:14:03,270
Every time our

2084
01:14:03,810 --> 01:14:05,810
home insurance goes up a little bit more,

2085
01:14:05,810 --> 01:14:08,145
I'm like, maybe we should move in then.

2086
01:14:08,145 --> 01:14:10,305
We should go to, like, one of those

2087
01:14:10,305 --> 01:14:12,005
other states, but I just

2088
01:14:12,385 --> 01:14:14,545
I can't be that far away from water.

2089
01:14:14,545 --> 01:14:15,905
Even if I don't visit it, I just

2090
01:14:15,905 --> 01:14:17,664
need to know it's there. I don't I

2091
01:14:17,664 --> 01:14:19,744
don't know what that's about. It's okay if

2092
01:14:19,744 --> 01:14:21,720
you don't, like, you don't get it either.

2093
01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:22,539
I don't it

2094
01:14:22,920 --> 01:14:25,960
just is. It just is. Mhmm. I mean,

2095
01:14:25,960 --> 01:14:27,820
when I I went to college in Montgomery,

2096
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:29,720
Alabama, and that was too far inland for

2097
01:14:29,720 --> 01:14:30,920
me. I was very it was a very

2098
01:14:30,920 --> 01:14:31,739
weird feeling.

2099
01:14:32,119 --> 01:14:33,079
And I I don't

2100
01:14:33,720 --> 01:14:35,545
maybe it's because I'm a water sign. I

2101
01:14:35,545 --> 01:14:37,438
don't know. I just it's a feeling I

2102
01:14:37,438 --> 01:14:38,904
get. I'm the same way. I mean, are

2103
01:14:39,064 --> 01:14:40,604
you know, as a kid,

2104
01:14:42,425 --> 01:14:45,005
growing up, I used to seek out ponds

2105
01:14:45,704 --> 01:14:46,444
and streams

2106
01:14:47,545 --> 01:14:49,619
and and I would just love hanging out

2107
01:14:50,020 --> 01:14:51,699
and being around water. You know what's weird

2108
01:14:51,699 --> 01:14:53,220
to me? And I think maybe it's because

2109
01:14:53,220 --> 01:14:54,840
I am a I'm a Florida kid.

2110
01:14:55,860 --> 01:14:57,640
Lakes, ponds, canals,

2111
01:14:58,340 --> 01:15:00,260
those kinds of bodies of water make me

2112
01:15:00,260 --> 01:15:02,180
more nervous than a gulf or an ocean.

2113
01:15:02,180 --> 01:15:04,039
Now I recognize the danger

2114
01:15:04,659 --> 01:15:07,274
of the gulf and oceans and riptides and

2115
01:15:07,274 --> 01:15:08,255
all of that. Like,

2116
01:15:08,555 --> 01:15:11,135
I lost a good friend to

2117
01:15:11,515 --> 01:15:13,534
the Atlantic fucking ocean. So,

2118
01:15:14,555 --> 01:15:16,715
I'm well aware of those dangers, but there

2119
01:15:16,715 --> 01:15:18,574
is something about the,

2120
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:20,015
non

2121
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,579
coastal waters in Florida. And it's because

2122
01:15:24,359 --> 01:15:26,920
if there's a body of water standing still

2123
01:15:26,920 --> 01:15:29,479
in Florida, it's probably got an alligator in

2124
01:15:29,479 --> 01:15:29,979
it.

2125
01:15:30,840 --> 01:15:33,559
I'm just like, I have never trusted that

2126
01:15:33,559 --> 01:15:35,479
zigzag run thing and then come to find

2127
01:15:35,479 --> 01:15:37,425
out the internet told me that was fake.

2128
01:15:37,425 --> 01:15:38,645
Don't run-in a zigzag.

2129
01:15:39,185 --> 01:15:40,405
That doesn't help anything.

2130
01:15:41,505 --> 01:15:43,104
But I promise you as a Florida kid,

2131
01:15:43,104 --> 01:15:44,725
I was taught running a zigzag.

2132
01:15:46,305 --> 01:15:47,045
Come across

2133
01:15:47,425 --> 01:15:49,585
run away back and forth. And I was

2134
01:15:49,585 --> 01:15:51,585
like, I barely can do a straight line.

2135
01:15:51,585 --> 01:15:52,199
You want me

2136
01:15:53,159 --> 01:15:55,079
to know my right from my left while

2137
01:15:55,079 --> 01:15:56,860
panic running? I don't know.

2138
01:15:59,640 --> 01:16:00,140
So,

2139
01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:06,220
yeah, Kim says, Delaware is 29 miles across.

2140
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:08,244
You're always near the water and less humidity.

2141
01:16:08,244 --> 01:16:09,545
Yeah. But don't y'all have snow?

2142
01:16:10,085 --> 01:16:11,925
Don't y'all have snow? Y'all have snow, don't

2143
01:16:11,925 --> 01:16:12,425
you?

2144
01:16:12,965 --> 01:16:14,484
You have do you have snow? If you

2145
01:16:14,484 --> 01:16:15,524
have snow, I so

2146
01:16:17,045 --> 01:16:19,385
mm-mm. Give me my alligators and my hurricanes

2147
01:16:19,685 --> 01:16:20,505
over snow

2148
01:16:21,050 --> 01:16:23,050
is all I'm saying. Oh my gosh. In

2149
01:16:23,050 --> 01:16:23,930
the fifties. I

2150
01:16:28,489 --> 01:16:30,489
Yeah. Kim and mister Spacher tried to convince

2151
01:16:30,489 --> 01:16:32,590
us we need to go to Delaware. Right?

2152
01:16:32,985 --> 01:16:34,685
I don't know. I don't know.

2153
01:16:35,864 --> 01:16:36,364
Anyway,

2154
01:16:38,104 --> 01:16:40,204
Onyx is a menace. Ella is a menace.

2155
01:16:41,385 --> 01:16:43,405
Oh, I haven't caught them grooming,

2156
01:16:43,864 --> 01:16:44,364
but

2157
01:16:44,905 --> 01:16:47,279
this afternoon, they were walking through the kitchen.

2158
01:16:48,719 --> 01:16:50,739
They incorrectly thought I was gonna give them

2159
01:16:51,199 --> 01:16:53,439
the water from the tuna can. I used

2160
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:55,460
to give them water from the tuna can,

2161
01:16:56,159 --> 01:16:58,479
but then they stopped drinking it consistently. And

2162
01:16:58,479 --> 01:17:00,319
then we had these little bowls of tuna

2163
01:17:00,319 --> 01:17:02,159
just out in the house, stinking up the

2164
01:17:02,159 --> 01:17:03,911
house. And I'm like, you're not getting tuna

2165
01:17:03,911 --> 01:17:06,185
juice anymore. I'm so sorry, girls. So I

2166
01:17:06,185 --> 01:17:08,458
was cracking up a can of tuna today,

2167
01:17:08,458 --> 01:17:10,731
and they come in the kitchen and they're

2168
01:17:10,731 --> 01:17:13,005
like, oh, hello. Hello. And I'm like, bitch,

2169
01:17:13,005 --> 01:17:15,278
please. And I turn around to do something

2170
01:17:15,278 --> 01:17:17,551
and I watch them walk away and they

2171
01:17:17,551 --> 01:17:19,960
are body to body just rubbing against each

2172
01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:22,360
other as they're walking their tails briefly, like,

2173
01:17:22,360 --> 01:17:24,039
for half a second blink and you would

2174
01:17:24,039 --> 01:17:26,380
have missed it. Their tails crossed.

2175
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:29,560
Wow. I was like, do they actually love

2176
01:17:29,560 --> 01:17:31,820
one another? Maybe it's begrudging. Whatever.

2177
01:17:32,765 --> 01:17:34,524
I don't care. I think they love one

2178
01:17:34,524 --> 01:17:35,024
another.

2179
01:17:36,524 --> 01:17:37,024
So

2180
01:17:37,484 --> 01:17:39,425
just saying. Just saying.

2181
01:17:41,760 --> 01:17:42,260
So

2182
01:17:44,845 --> 01:17:45,345
yeah.

2183
01:17:46,125 --> 01:17:46,625
That's

2184
01:17:47,319 --> 01:17:50,300
that's us, I think. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

2185
01:17:50,600 --> 01:17:51,100
Yeah.

2186
01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:55,159
Yeah. Look. Y'all, I really could just sit

2187
01:17:55,159 --> 01:17:57,100
here in comfortable silence with y'all.

2188
01:17:57,800 --> 01:17:59,260
I really, really could,

2189
01:18:00,734 --> 01:18:01,875
but I probably shouldn't.

2190
01:18:02,335 --> 01:18:04,255
I'm not gonna, but I could. I really

2191
01:18:04,255 --> 01:18:04,755
could.

2192
01:18:08,335 --> 01:18:10,015
But I guess we're not, and I guess

2193
01:18:10,015 --> 01:18:11,795
we should. We could.

2194
01:18:12,175 --> 01:18:12,840
We should.

2195
01:18:16,119 --> 01:18:18,139
Thank you all. Mhmm. Thanks for

2196
01:18:18,520 --> 01:18:20,760
being here and hanging out to the bitter

2197
01:18:20,760 --> 01:18:22,060
end with us. I'm

2198
01:18:22,599 --> 01:18:24,840
happy you're here, if you've been here for

2199
01:18:24,840 --> 01:18:26,920
5 minutes, or you've been here for 9

2200
01:18:26,920 --> 01:18:27,420
years.

2201
01:18:28,185 --> 01:18:30,045
I I the I mean, I am constantly

2202
01:18:30,185 --> 01:18:31,005
blown away

2203
01:18:31,305 --> 01:18:32,824
by the fact that there are folks who

2204
01:18:32,824 --> 01:18:34,905
are like, no. Actually, this isn't the most

2205
01:18:34,905 --> 01:18:37,305
annoying fucking thing I've ever heard. This is

2206
01:18:37,305 --> 01:18:39,960
interesting and good even, and I'm getting something

2207
01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:40,619
from it.

2208
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:44,860
So, yeah, we're we're grateful.

2209
01:18:45,400 --> 01:18:47,479
Mister Spock asked what the implement is on

2210
01:18:47,479 --> 01:18:50,039
my shirt. It's a crop. Mhmm. His shirt

2211
01:18:50,039 --> 01:18:50,860
says behave.

2212
01:18:51,239 --> 01:18:51,640
He's,

2213
01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:54,935
he's getting back into clothes he has not

2214
01:18:54,935 --> 01:18:56,375
been able to wear in a while. Right.

2215
01:18:56,375 --> 01:18:57,835
I'm going the opposite way.

2216
01:18:58,215 --> 01:18:59,114
I I have

2217
01:18:59,735 --> 01:19:01,574
have feelings about that, but that's for another

2218
01:19:01,574 --> 01:19:04,775
day. We're gonna go. Thank y'all. I'm almost

2219
01:19:04,775 --> 01:19:06,155
fitting back into my

2220
01:19:06,534 --> 01:19:08,579
kill. Look. The day you are back in

2221
01:19:08,579 --> 01:19:10,819
that fucking kilt, I will be humping your

2222
01:19:10,819 --> 01:19:13,219
leg. I'm so sorry. Oh. What does a

2223
01:19:13,219 --> 01:19:14,899
j b wear under his kilt? Not a

2224
01:19:14,899 --> 01:19:16,340
fucking thing because I need to be able

2225
01:19:16,340 --> 01:19:18,679
to get to that, and it is delightful.

2226
01:19:19,219 --> 01:19:20,760
And oh my god.

2227
01:19:21,975 --> 01:19:22,555
Oh. Oh.

2228
01:19:23,735 --> 01:19:26,395
Kilts. Goddamn. I love a fucking kiln.

2229
01:19:28,454 --> 01:19:30,375
Look. Look. How y'all know how to,

2230
01:19:31,175 --> 01:19:33,675
the the Scotland part of Outlander?

2231
01:19:33,989 --> 01:19:36,329
I'm there for the fucking kilts. Yeah.

2232
01:19:37,510 --> 01:19:39,430
I wish there was at a time where

2233
01:19:39,430 --> 01:19:41,770
bathing was more common, but still.

2234
01:19:43,590 --> 01:19:46,470
Anyway, we're gonna go now. Yep. We're we're

2235
01:19:46,470 --> 01:19:47,610
devolving here.

2236
01:19:48,070 --> 01:19:50,444
Mhmm. We will be back next week. Yes.

2237
01:19:50,444 --> 01:19:50,944
Indeed.

2238
01:19:51,645 --> 01:19:52,764
I think I know what that's gonna be,

2239
01:19:52,764 --> 01:19:53,885
and it's not gonna be a topic. It's

2240
01:19:53,885 --> 01:19:54,925
gonna be something we haven't done in a

2241
01:19:54,925 --> 01:19:55,824
few weeks. So

2242
01:19:56,604 --> 01:19:58,685
I think we'll talk about it. Oh, it's

2243
01:19:58,685 --> 01:20:00,364
nothing major. You'll be like, oh, thank god

2244
01:20:00,364 --> 01:20:01,645
I don't have to think of anything, and

2245
01:20:01,645 --> 01:20:02,545
it'll be delightful.

2246
01:20:05,409 --> 01:20:08,710
Anyway, we will see y'all next week. Bye.

2247
01:20:08,770 --> 01:20:09,270
Bye.