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You're listening to the loving Bd and podcast

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episode 04:05.

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K Lords here with the 1, the only

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the... I love you so much, but I

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have nothing witty or cute or snarky to

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say Jump Brown snow. Yay. Is that like

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the second week in our, Did that happen

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last week? No. I don't. It happened 1

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week. There was a week. While ago. Somebody

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remembers Yeah it's never me. M. That's all

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what we're here for now.

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This week, we responding to posts

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from the King gear side of reddit. Mh.

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I cannot guarantee rants, but

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snow, there may be raining. Possibility. Exactly.

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Welcome to Loving Bd and podcast. If this

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is your first time listening. Glad to have

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you. If you're back for another week. Welcome

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back. Loving bd has produced every Monday and

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Friday for your kinky pleasure in education and

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tri notes are found at loving bd m

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dot net. Come back often and feel free

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to add the podcast to your favorite podcast

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app. You could also follow the show on

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Fe life at Loving bd pc

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on Instagram at loving...

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Oh, my god. I almost just her by

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it.

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At Instagram

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and threads. Of that handle I will forever

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fucking hate. Wow.

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Out.

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Loving ds and the number 1. So that's

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at loving ds 1. Let me tell you.

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I might forget to say I hate it,

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but the moment I have to say the

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handle. I'm like, that's right. I hate it.

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I hate it so much.

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Or you can follow us on Youtube at

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Youtube dot com slash loving bd where you

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can watch us live stream the podcast every

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Wednesday. All links are in the show notes.

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Big things as always to our Kinky patrons

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over on Patreon, including our newest peeps. We're

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able to be a couple of weirdo on

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the internet, in large part because of our

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kinky patrons. And we are grateful for our

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fucking water you. If you'd like to join

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our Kinky community and get access to extra

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content and a discord serve, where you can

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do that. Just join us at patreon dot

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com slash kayla lords, that's patreon dot com

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slash

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kayla lords or use the link in the

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show number. Notes. Okay. Before we get into

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the post from Reddit, I don't know if

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I'm gonna rant.

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Not. I don't remember reading anything that made

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steam come out of my ears, but I

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have a bad memory, so don't don't count

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on me for that.

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We we do have some announcements. So this

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week. We would like to thank us for

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sponsoring us again.

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This time, I'm gonna do the thing that

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makes me deep uncomfortable

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and let folks know slash remind of the

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few who might have remembered that I have

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my own vanilla Etsy shop

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that is book themed,

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their stickers. Mh. There's bookmarks, and there's now

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t shirts.

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I'm eventually going to add other things, but

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there's only so much time. I always have

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more ideas and hours in the day.

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Some of my newer stuff is sort of

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leaning into the romance,

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spicy stuff, but also there's audiobook,

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stuff. For those who are audiobook fans. I

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also have a little section that is

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blind date with a used book to give

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a book a second second life.

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So... Yeah.

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It's called book dreams shop, the link is

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in the places. Y'all.

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So... Yeah, if you are book and need

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gifts or just want, like, cute little things

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is

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and thank you for us to sponsoring us

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this week.

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Next thing on my list, I'm gonna swap.

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Items around there's something buzzing around my face.

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Yeah

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today day of recording is July 20 fourth.

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And apparently, that is world Bd day. So

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happy world Bd.

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Everybody needs to go and celebrate.

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In whatever Kinky way, make sure heart happier.

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What will we be doing? Talking to y'all

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as loving beauty and that is today has

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been a hardcore

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loving Bd,

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we recorded

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full... Like, early, like, a few hours ago.

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Our Patreon podcast, we recorded the pay patreon

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and Youtube

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membership exclusive video. Mh.

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We did the Monday show. The Monday

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episode already. It's been a heavy heavy loving

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Bd.

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Yeah. But not an a kinky day. M.

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Just by existing, isn't it a day for

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us always. I don't know. I'd tell myself

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that because it makes me feel better.

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Third announcement

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is

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a little

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impromptu too.

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We're taking next week off.

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We... There will be a Monday episode because

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we recorded it, and I can schedule. Right.

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You will see social media posts if you

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follow us at that handle life fucking hate

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over on Instagram,

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because I can schedule that stuff.

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And pay patrons will get to hear a

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little bit more about it in the behind

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the scenes,

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podcast episode that's coming out soon. But basically,

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our mental health tanked. Yeah.

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Not because anything major happened, we're where as

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good as we have been, and we are

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not

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at 20 21 20 22 levels of stress.

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Comparatively. It real... It's just not the same.

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But we can both feel burnout out creeping

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in? Yeah. And we're about to go into

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a time of year where we do not

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feel like we have the luxury of, like,

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long breaks.

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So and we need all the energy we

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can must for that.

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So

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we are basically moving heaven and earth with

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our schedule

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and the work we had planned for this

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we and next week,

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getting it all done this week, so we

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can hike next week off. All of our

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shops are still open. Mh. We will still

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process orders

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Yep. Those things 1 do not ever ever.

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Not even on our busiest day never. Does

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an order dressing.

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Orders are my favorite things.

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And also, I can deal with orders in,

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like, an hour a day and be done.

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I don't know how Jb feels about this,

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but basically, I had the thought of. I

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wanna wake up

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for a few days in a row and

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have 0

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obligations and not be stressed at the thought

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of my to do list. My list that

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is not overly long either. It's just

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how It was burnout. So I was like,

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Clock. Yeah.

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I would like to walk for our mental

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health, but it doesn't have to be a

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05:30 morning. No,

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just just a week just a week off.

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Now,

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patrons who look at a calendar and no

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dates better than I do. Might be like

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worried. Now. This coming Friday, the day those

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podcast episode goes out for audio folks.

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We have a a Patreon event with our

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game night that we do months a month.

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And then

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the first Saturday in August, I don't know

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what that date is for getting a look

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at a calendar. We will have a Patreon

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live Q and A, we do that for

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our patrons Mh And if you're a member

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of our Youtube channel,

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That's that's our separator from the time game

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night is,

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basically, to the time, the q and a

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cards we're off off.

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And...

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I think we both knew it was the

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right decision because we were immediately a little

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bit more relaxed. Yeah.

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So that's what we're doing. Mh.

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We... Yeah. That... That's what we're doing.

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And, thankfully, y'all are all super supportive and

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always just tell us to take care of

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ourselves. Well, we're trying to listen to you.

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Little self care for a week. Right. What

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about the. Thank you, Ra. Ra, it's in

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a calendar. August third is the patron and

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Youtube member a live Q and A. Thank

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you, Robert. Thank, Ra. Okay. So enough of

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the announcements. Mh. Let us get in do

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the reddit post. I did not pull any

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of the questions from

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the Bd,

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am I the asshole subreddit that is a

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it run by

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pink king podcast Princess Ara.

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There are more people posting in there. I'm

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begging y'all. To go in and post there

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if you have a weight was I a

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kinky asshole.

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I looked through some of them, and the

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more recent ones and I went, I don't

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I don't think I'm the right 1 to

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answer those. So there were more more about

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sex. Mh.

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So

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anytime you're like, wait, was I the asshole

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in this kin situation, I love it if

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you would go post over there because I

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definitely wanna use those posts in these kinds

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of episodes.

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Please let let us decide if we think

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you're an asshole, please, please.

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Okay. So all of today's post came from

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the Bd

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advice subreddit.

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Okay. First 1. Okay.

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Sometimes I under if it's worth it in

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the same right.

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This is where I have to get really

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close to the screen because

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the glass suck. Okay. Here we go.

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60 female married to 58 male been together

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9 years. I am primarily vanilla and he's

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into Bd.

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I never dabble until I met my now

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hub. He loves to be the dismissive. I

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am honestly not the dominating type, but I

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try for his sake. We went through a

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sexual dry spell as he doesn't wanna make

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me do things I'm not comfortable with. I

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on the other hand am willing to try

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because I love him and wanna fulfill his

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needs.

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It seems that the last couple of times

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we played. Things didn't quite go as planned

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and he got angry and made me feel

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like it was my fault.

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For instance, our bed frame came apart during

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our last session.

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I, of course thought it was something funny

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to laugh at, and he made it seem

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like it was the end of the world.

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It hurt my feeling so much I cried.

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Honestly, I put a lot of thought and

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energy into our session as isn't easy for

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me. You would think he could at least

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say he was sorry for over reacting

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Why does it have to be so freaking

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serious all the time. In order for me

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to feel comfortable and confident I'd like to

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have some fun too. And for me, that's

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laughing at the stupid stuff that happens or

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that I do. How do I get him

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to lighten up a tad? It makes me

270
00:09:44,925 --> 00:09:46,923
want to not try and do this anymore.

271
00:09:48,282 --> 00:09:50,120
I'm sad for both of them? I know.

272
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,923
It's an compatibility that they're trying to find.

273
00:09:53,241 --> 00:09:55,412
They're they're they're trying to... Yeah

274
00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:57,218
that that center spot.

275
00:09:58,109 --> 00:10:00,342
And and you know what? She... She's absolutely

276
00:10:00,342 --> 00:10:01,538
right. You need to have...

277
00:10:02,336 --> 00:10:03,931
You know, you you need to have that

278
00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:04,728
sense of humor.

279
00:10:05,686 --> 00:10:08,652
Yes. But So what if he's got himself

280
00:10:08,652 --> 00:10:10,487
all stressed out about. This is his only

281
00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,162
way to submit. I know how I am.

282
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,156
And something goes wrong.

283
00:10:15,127 --> 00:10:18,145
And I've gotten better because I'm I am

284
00:10:18,145 --> 00:10:20,924
confident in you. Mh. When I get to

285
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,512
submit to you, it is not gonna be

286
00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:23,624
the only time I get to do it

287
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:25,073
for weeks and week a weeks. Right? It's

288
00:10:25,073 --> 00:10:25,553
our life.

289
00:10:26,432 --> 00:10:28,589
What if he's like, this is my only

290
00:10:28,589 --> 00:10:30,586
chance, and he does that thing that a

291
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,278
lot of people do. You put press on

292
00:10:32,278 --> 00:10:34,589
the situation to be air quote. Perfect. Mh.

293
00:10:34,828 --> 00:10:36,980
And so when something goes wrong, it's a

294
00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:38,812
small thing that should be able to be

295
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:42,425
laughed off, but it feels catastrophic because it

296
00:10:42,425 --> 00:10:44,985
ruined the picture in your mind of the

297
00:10:44,985 --> 00:10:45,785
perfect Yeah.

298
00:10:46,425 --> 00:10:48,399
Situation. Now, I don't... I think... Yes. I

299
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:50,754
kinda does need to lighten up. But I

300
00:10:50,754 --> 00:10:52,590
think I can see where he might be

301
00:10:52,590 --> 00:10:54,425
coming from it. But, you know... And and

302
00:10:54,425 --> 00:10:57,311
again, though, you you you're saying that And

303
00:10:57,311 --> 00:10:59,061
and, yeah, III

304
00:10:59,061 --> 00:11:01,287
see your point. But, you know, there again,

305
00:11:01,446 --> 00:11:01,764
too,

306
00:11:02,718 --> 00:11:04,172
that comes in with the

307
00:11:05,595 --> 00:11:06,095
managing

308
00:11:06,627 --> 00:11:10,123
expectations. Absolutely. I agree completely. Because let's face

309
00:11:10,123 --> 00:11:12,982
it. Nothing in this, you know, nothing is

310
00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:14,412
ever perfect. M. K?

311
00:11:15,699 --> 00:11:17,291
Nothing ever goes as planned.

312
00:11:18,086 --> 00:11:18,484
You know,

313
00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:22,039
the bed breaks

314
00:11:22,635 --> 00:11:24,381
You know, you you you fall out of

315
00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:24,620
bed.

316
00:11:25,969 --> 00:11:29,145
Something cramp up. You know, fall asleep. Right.

317
00:11:29,463 --> 00:11:31,184
You know, it... It's all gonna happen an

318
00:11:31,383 --> 00:11:33,528
and, you know, those stupid things you gotta...

319
00:11:33,687 --> 00:11:35,117
You gotta be able to laugh them off.

320
00:11:35,355 --> 00:11:37,023
I know. But I think before you can

321
00:11:37,023 --> 00:11:38,691
get to that place that you can laugh

322
00:11:38,691 --> 00:11:40,621
them off, you need to feel

323
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,505
there's some some something

324
00:11:44,122 --> 00:11:46,995
is lacking in confidence and whether it's will

325
00:11:46,995 --> 00:11:48,990
we be able to do this often enough,

326
00:11:49,724 --> 00:11:51,322
or am I... You know,

327
00:11:52,121 --> 00:11:53,480
and I am reading a lot into it.

328
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,037
We do not have his perspective, but. You

329
00:11:56,037 --> 00:11:58,115
know, she says that, yeah, they went through

330
00:11:58,115 --> 00:12:01,001
a dry spell because he doesn't wanna make

331
00:12:01,001 --> 00:12:03,074
me do things Not comfortable with. So is

332
00:12:03,074 --> 00:12:06,503
there guilt involved of. I'm already asking her

333
00:12:06,503 --> 00:12:08,674
to do and be something thing she's not.

334
00:12:09,794 --> 00:12:10,695
And so

335
00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:13,894
you, it's just... It's... It sounds like pressure

336
00:12:14,355 --> 00:12:16,766
on his side of things. I I agree

337
00:12:16,766 --> 00:12:19,715
though. I agree about setting managing... Setting and

338
00:12:19,715 --> 00:12:22,663
managing expectations. I agree about... You gotta laugh

339
00:12:22,663 --> 00:12:24,437
off that stuff because it's gonna happen

340
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:27,461
all... Now we've got somebody who's crying because

341
00:12:27,461 --> 00:12:28,818
they're still upset, and the other person so

342
00:12:28,818 --> 00:12:30,734
pissed off, and no scenes are happening now.

343
00:12:30,974 --> 00:12:34,008
Right. So it... As always. This is such

344
00:12:34,008 --> 00:12:36,017
the boring answer. I know. Yeah. It goes

345
00:12:36,017 --> 00:12:39,039
back to communication. Right? Like, true. It's... Let's

346
00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:41,107
sit down and talk about this. Let's talk

347
00:12:41,107 --> 00:12:42,005
about how

348
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:45,109
you know, his anger made her feel, how

349
00:12:45,109 --> 00:12:46,865
her laughter made him feel.

350
00:12:47,503 --> 00:12:49,259
The hardest part, but I think the most

351
00:12:49,259 --> 00:12:50,856
important part is to try and do it

352
00:12:50,856 --> 00:12:51,389
in a

353
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:54,779
without being j, there's... It's real easy in

354
00:12:54,779 --> 00:12:56,773
an argument to go, will you made me

355
00:12:56,773 --> 00:12:58,869
feel this way and you did this m,

356
00:12:59,086 --> 00:13:00,442
to the best of your ability to do

357
00:13:00,442 --> 00:13:01,240
I statements.

358
00:13:02,370 --> 00:13:03,746
I feel this way,

359
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,829
you know, when this happens. I feel, you

360
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,559
know, pair you're feeling with the action

361
00:13:10,509 --> 00:13:12,107
again, none of us are perfect, and this

362
00:13:12,107 --> 00:13:13,945
is a a skill that has to be

363
00:13:13,945 --> 00:13:15,542
learned and I still suck at it sometimes.

364
00:13:16,261 --> 00:13:17,835
Instead of it, you know, going on the

365
00:13:18,033 --> 00:13:19,464
with the other person because what's gonna happen

366
00:13:19,464 --> 00:13:21,214
is everybody's gonna shut down. And now we're

367
00:13:21,214 --> 00:13:22,645
not talking about how wait,

368
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,928
you are having these expectations of this

369
00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:30,000
supposedly perfect scene. And when it's not perfect.

370
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,840
You're freaking out, and now it's ruined for

371
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,480
me too. Like, that's the ultimately the thing

372
00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:36,249
I think that has to happen there's got

373
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,236
to be a conversation about it. Yeah. You

374
00:13:38,236 --> 00:13:39,745
know, there there definitely has to be a

375
00:13:39,745 --> 00:13:40,245
com

376
00:13:40,699 --> 00:13:43,241
conversation. You're you're not... And, you know, I

377
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:43,956
I think too,

378
00:13:44,686 --> 00:13:45,900
makes me kinda wonder,

379
00:13:46,748 --> 00:13:47,724
you know, it

380
00:13:48,572 --> 00:13:50,342
she's, you know, he's

381
00:13:51,111 --> 00:13:53,191
he's stopping at the bit. Oh, he's sure.

382
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:56,214
And he's ready to go. Mh. Alright. And

383
00:13:56,214 --> 00:13:58,522
she's a little hesitant. She's not, you know,

384
00:13:59,079 --> 00:13:59,636
quite sure.

385
00:14:00,287 --> 00:14:02,512
You know, how much is he expecting of

386
00:14:02,512 --> 00:14:04,181
her? True. Right out of the gate? True.

387
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:06,724
I I would be interested to know the

388
00:14:06,724 --> 00:14:07,939
scope of the scenes

389
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:08,813
that

390
00:14:09,524 --> 00:14:13,199
he's asking for slash she's willing to able

391
00:14:13,199 --> 00:14:15,676
to in trying to execute. And not only

392
00:14:15,676 --> 00:14:17,169
if there's a mismatch

393
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:19,111
but it might not even be that deep

394
00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,324
It might just be

395
00:14:20,695 --> 00:14:21,195
it's

396
00:14:21,646 --> 00:14:24,834
outside of some comfort level slash experience levels.

397
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,831
Mh. And so that's that's a lot of

398
00:14:26,831 --> 00:14:29,467
pressure for everybody. Yeah. And I can...

399
00:14:30,985 --> 00:14:33,152
I don't think lashing out of a partner

400
00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:34,904
is the best way to go about anything

401
00:14:35,064 --> 00:14:37,157
I'm not saying that's right, but I can't

402
00:14:37,613 --> 00:14:39,763
understand the... This is the only way I'm

403
00:14:39,763 --> 00:14:41,450
gonna get it and it's few and far

404
00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:43,836
between, and I'm relying on a partner that

405
00:14:43,916 --> 00:14:45,847
I already feel bad if, you know, I'm

406
00:14:45,904 --> 00:14:47,416
guilty that maybe I'm, you know,

407
00:14:48,306 --> 00:14:50,056
asking them do something they don't even wanna

408
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:50,295
do,

409
00:14:51,488 --> 00:14:53,795
you know, that... I would be so curious

410
00:14:53,795 --> 00:14:54,534
to hear

411
00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:57,707
his side of, like... Because, you know, I've

412
00:14:57,866 --> 00:14:59,615
I have been that submissive and God. I

413
00:14:59,615 --> 00:15:02,079
have met enough submissive who are like, you

414
00:15:02,079 --> 00:15:03,930
know, I have these

415
00:15:04,639 --> 00:15:04,799
this,

416
00:15:05,837 --> 00:15:07,435
picture of my head of what it's gonna

417
00:15:07,435 --> 00:15:09,033
be like to submit when it's gonna be

418
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,791
like to be dominated, who that person's gonna

419
00:15:10,791 --> 00:15:12,721
be, what they're gonna do. And do we

420
00:15:12,721 --> 00:15:15,830
all eventually come crashing down to reality of

421
00:15:15,830 --> 00:15:16,388
course, we.

422
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:21,658
But that usually comes from getting to have

423
00:15:21,658 --> 00:15:23,564
the day to day experience of it or

424
00:15:23,564 --> 00:15:25,629
a consistent experience of it or a the

425
00:15:25,629 --> 00:15:26,423
give and take,

426
00:15:26,979 --> 00:15:28,114
and this is

427
00:15:28,423 --> 00:15:30,491
I mean, I'm... I admire her. She's, like,

428
00:15:30,571 --> 00:15:31,844
this is not my thing, but I want

429
00:15:31,844 --> 00:15:33,457
him to be happy. So I'll try.

430
00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:34,469
Yeah. You know?

431
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:38,097
Yeah. III would be very curious about the

432
00:15:38,316 --> 00:15:41,353
expectations he has set for himself. Right. For

433
00:15:41,353 --> 00:15:43,511
her and for the scene. Because I think

434
00:15:43,511 --> 00:15:45,839
that's probably where the anger. I'm sorry. Yep.

435
00:15:46,315 --> 00:15:47,506
And or I'm a look because I'm nosy

436
00:15:47,665 --> 00:15:49,014
I'm little curious about what made the bed

437
00:15:49,014 --> 00:15:51,236
break because I... Here's what I know. If

438
00:15:51,236 --> 00:15:52,030
our bed broke,

439
00:15:53,157 --> 00:15:55,861
I would have to laugh because my alternative

440
00:15:55,861 --> 00:15:56,894
would be to cry. Right.

441
00:15:57,610 --> 00:15:59,360
Because of some deep seated issues of my

442
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,085
own. But if I thought

443
00:16:01,602 --> 00:16:04,312
my actions were the reason the bed broke?

444
00:16:04,551 --> 00:16:06,703
I would be inc console. That would not...

445
00:16:06,862 --> 00:16:08,376
It I would not be able to be

446
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:08,876
laughed

447
00:16:09,506 --> 00:16:12,392
at or have somebody laughing with me

448
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,711
until I like got my head on straight.

449
00:16:16,363 --> 00:16:16,863
So

450
00:16:17,957 --> 00:16:20,849
I I think it's, you know, both simpler

451
00:16:20,907 --> 00:16:23,060
and than it seems but also more complex.

452
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,942
There's all... There's lots of feelings going on,

453
00:16:26,498 --> 00:16:28,963
and some people lash out. It's not right.

454
00:16:29,043 --> 00:16:31,030
It's not healthy Like, come on, Call call

455
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:33,575
me tits there. But it is what people

456
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:33,893
do.

457
00:16:34,625 --> 00:16:36,565
And so to be able to have the

458
00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,264
conversation to work through it, you know, he's

459
00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,365
gotta be able to to try to articulate

460
00:16:41,664 --> 00:16:44,157
what that is for him. And she can

461
00:16:44,157 --> 00:16:47,031
maybe ask questions to pull that out of

462
00:16:47,031 --> 00:16:49,266
them, but she also can't make them talk.

463
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,501
Right? And if he's not gonna communicate, well,

464
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,195
and we don't know. It doesn't say here.

465
00:16:53,355 --> 00:16:55,434
Mh. Then, you know... Yeah. But it is

466
00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:57,294
on hold for a while. I wouldn't wanna

467
00:16:57,355 --> 00:16:58,955
go outside of my own comfort zone for

468
00:16:58,955 --> 00:17:00,802
my partner. I'm gonna get yelled at that

469
00:17:00,881 --> 00:17:02,790
Right. Something goes Right. I mean, that... Yeah.

470
00:17:03,108 --> 00:17:03,982
That's that's gonna,

471
00:17:04,698 --> 00:17:05,198
unfortunately,

472
00:17:05,970 --> 00:17:08,197
yeah. You know, if he's getting angry and

473
00:17:08,197 --> 00:17:09,151
and yelling adam,

474
00:17:10,125 --> 00:17:13,244
that's gonna push people away. Mh. Absolutely. Exactly.

475
00:17:15,244 --> 00:17:17,164
Okay. Next 1.

476
00:17:18,284 --> 00:17:18,858
Okay. K.

477
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,877
Here we go. The a consensual non consent

478
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,521
scene went badly, and I can't reconnect to

479
00:17:26,521 --> 00:17:28,831
my sub self. We have heard this kind

480
00:17:28,831 --> 00:17:29,468
of thing before.

481
00:17:30,184 --> 00:17:31,857
My dominant I have a free use,

482
00:17:32,733 --> 00:17:34,539
Cnc rule when I'm around them, we live

483
00:17:34,897 --> 00:17:36,486
hour and a half away from I live

484
00:17:36,486 --> 00:17:37,598
an hour and a half away from him.

485
00:17:38,471 --> 00:17:40,140
When we do it, he always kisses me

486
00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:41,808
or pulls my nipples or just something to

487
00:17:41,808 --> 00:17:44,032
get me wet. We wanted to try minimizing

488
00:17:44,032 --> 00:17:46,285
that and trying to be a little rough.

489
00:17:46,605 --> 00:17:48,205
I was studying and he told me to

490
00:17:48,205 --> 00:17:48,605
bend over.

491
00:17:49,325 --> 00:17:52,205
I've never done Cnc apart from the gentle

492
00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:54,052
free use I didn't really know what to

493
00:17:54,052 --> 00:17:55,882
expect, but I was sore, and I can

494
00:17:55,882 --> 00:17:57,177
only describe it as

495
00:17:57,632 --> 00:17:59,143
me air quote taking it.

496
00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,634
Kinda thought that was normal and what people

497
00:18:01,634 --> 00:18:03,234
really liked about it. I was waiting for

498
00:18:03,234 --> 00:18:05,154
him to come. When it was over, he

499
00:18:05,154 --> 00:18:06,194
had to go back to work and I

500
00:18:06,194 --> 00:18:07,555
had to take my train home and I

501
00:18:07,555 --> 00:18:09,325
didn't think much of it. Until I got

502
00:18:09,325 --> 00:18:11,077
home and I got hit with a huge

503
00:18:11,077 --> 00:18:13,626
sub drop. I never sub drop normally, so

504
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,697
this was bad. I couldn't figure out why

505
00:18:15,777 --> 00:18:17,505
I was feeling badly, It wasn't until I

506
00:18:17,624 --> 00:18:19,142
spoke to him that we realized I didn't

507
00:18:19,142 --> 00:18:21,059
get the after care I needed, and I

508
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:23,536
should have safe worded. He felt awful, but

509
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,386
neither of us thought about about it. It

510
00:18:25,386 --> 00:18:27,138
didn't help that our schedule did not align

511
00:18:27,138 --> 00:18:28,493
for a few days, but we spent 2

512
00:18:28,493 --> 00:18:30,086
hours on the phone chatting to try a

513
00:18:30,086 --> 00:18:31,654
makeup up for the missing after care about

514
00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:33,839
That happened a week ago, and I'm set

515
00:18:33,839 --> 00:18:35,427
to see him Wednesday for a week. The

516
00:18:35,427 --> 00:18:37,413
thing is I'm into denial. I haven't had

517
00:18:37,413 --> 00:18:39,398
an orgasm in 70 days, and normally, I

518
00:18:39,398 --> 00:18:41,955
would be full on horny and begging to

519
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:44,099
edge and b all sub. But I've had

520
00:18:44,099 --> 00:18:46,085
0 desire to touch myself and I have

521
00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:47,991
not been horny. I still call Daddy and

522
00:18:47,991 --> 00:18:49,913
complete my normal day to day tasks but

523
00:18:50,072 --> 00:18:51,663
I feel like I can't reconnect to my

524
00:18:51,663 --> 00:18:54,288
submissive part of me. I also have a

525
00:18:54,288 --> 00:18:56,276
porn blog and I have avoided it. I

526
00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:57,883
don't really know what to do to go

527
00:18:57,883 --> 00:18:59,555
back to normal. I asked him to don

528
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,466
me gently when I see him because the

529
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:03,616
idea of getting to his flat and dressing

530
00:19:03,616 --> 00:19:05,541
at the door is overwhelming me. But I'm

531
00:19:05,541 --> 00:19:07,050
a sub, so I don't know what to

532
00:19:07,050 --> 00:19:08,957
do. I would love to hear, some advice,

533
00:19:09,354 --> 00:19:10,704
if anyone has had a scene go wrong,

534
00:19:11,022 --> 00:19:12,373
and it disconnected them to kin.

535
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:16,609
I think the last thing they should do

536
00:19:16,609 --> 00:19:19,161
upon seeing 1 another maybe eventually. Yeah. They

537
00:19:19,161 --> 00:19:21,473
should not they should not seen or do

538
00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:25,004
anything I remotely power exchange jeep from... At

539
00:19:25,004 --> 00:19:26,924
the first moment, they see 1 another. Right.

540
00:19:27,964 --> 00:19:29,825
I I think they need to have

541
00:19:30,204 --> 00:19:30,704
a

542
00:19:32,698 --> 00:19:33,198
serious

543
00:19:34,372 --> 00:19:34,611
conversation.

544
00:19:35,328 --> 00:19:36,603
From from the sounds of it,

545
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,015
you know, it it's not like

546
00:19:40,845 --> 00:19:42,065
either 1 of them was

547
00:19:42,445 --> 00:19:43,345
intentionally being

548
00:19:44,365 --> 00:19:46,705
right. You know? It it it's

549
00:19:47,404 --> 00:19:50,299
it more seems like something that happened, it

550
00:19:50,299 --> 00:19:52,377
was just the perfect storm that... And it

551
00:19:52,377 --> 00:19:53,975
was kind of things of. We talk about

552
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:54,694
this thing,

553
00:19:55,254 --> 00:19:57,412
doing this thing, and then I experienced this

554
00:19:57,412 --> 00:19:59,384
thing and whether it was that moment or

555
00:19:59,504 --> 00:20:01,973
always I don't like that. So. Yeah. Yeah.

556
00:20:02,212 --> 00:20:04,601
Which is gonna happen. Yeah. Always know until

557
00:20:04,601 --> 00:20:04,920
you try...

558
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:06,353
Exactly.

559
00:20:06,990 --> 00:20:09,794
And, you know, I just like we had

560
00:20:09,794 --> 00:20:11,786
with that 1 time when you had that

561
00:20:11,786 --> 00:20:13,380
panic attack. Mh. K?

562
00:20:14,097 --> 00:20:16,144
You know, yeah. We had to

563
00:20:16,504 --> 00:20:17,942
step back you and I, we had to

564
00:20:17,942 --> 00:20:18,821
sit down and talk,

565
00:20:19,541 --> 00:20:22,018
you know, and and really work through that

566
00:20:22,018 --> 00:20:24,655
before we could mh, find our ground again.

567
00:20:25,227 --> 00:20:28,034
Mh. And I I think that needs to,

568
00:20:29,205 --> 00:20:31,432
you know, be what happens here.

569
00:20:32,642 --> 00:20:35,272
It does not sound like either 1 of

570
00:20:35,272 --> 00:20:35,431
them.

571
00:20:38,221 --> 00:20:41,101
You know, yeah. It it it's Cnc, you

572
00:20:41,101 --> 00:20:41,260
know,

573
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:42,452
it... It's...

574
00:20:43,326 --> 00:20:45,074
But, you know what, they should have still

575
00:20:45,074 --> 00:20:46,821
talked about it a little bit prior.

576
00:20:47,552 --> 00:20:49,620
Yes. I I think especially for a first

577
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,529
time Yeah. Of doing that kind of scene.

578
00:20:51,688 --> 00:20:53,518
It is I, you know, I get where

579
00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:54,018
people

580
00:20:54,409 --> 00:20:55,368
because people say this all whole time and

581
00:20:55,368 --> 00:20:56,486
I, and I I get it. You know,

582
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:57,765
like well, I like the head space and

583
00:20:57,845 --> 00:20:58,644
I don't wanna, like,

584
00:20:59,283 --> 00:21:01,360
you know, ruin the the mood or whatever.

585
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,995
I wanna set the tone. Well, that's that's

586
00:21:03,995 --> 00:21:06,160
lovely. And if you can

587
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,673
find a rhythm with a partner that you've

588
00:21:08,673 --> 00:21:11,070
had... Got enough experience with, you... I'm sure

589
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,183
you can get there. Sure people get there

590
00:21:12,183 --> 00:21:12,660
all the time,

591
00:21:13,455 --> 00:21:16,635
with Cnc specifically, I mean, but when you're

592
00:21:16,635 --> 00:21:18,475
gonna go from a of a gentle free

593
00:21:18,475 --> 00:21:19,980
use thing, which sounds a lot like what

594
00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:22,699
you and I do. Yeah. To something purposefully

595
00:21:22,912 --> 00:21:23,308
rough.

596
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:26,750
I think it yeah. You know,

597
00:21:28,109 --> 00:21:29,869
learn from the moment, I guess and in

598
00:21:29,869 --> 00:21:32,109
the future. Yeah. How how have a conversation

599
00:21:32,109 --> 00:21:32,429
about it.

600
00:21:33,481 --> 00:21:35,709
Even if it's... Maybe it's not like 2

601
00:21:35,709 --> 00:21:37,538
seconds before. It happens with even if it's,

602
00:21:37,618 --> 00:21:39,528
like 15 20 minutes before, like, hey.

603
00:21:40,736 --> 00:21:42,645
Hey, let's try this tonight. What Right What

604
00:21:42,645 --> 00:21:44,713
are you thinking? You know, the other thing

605
00:21:44,713 --> 00:21:46,724
and again, you know, this person

606
00:21:47,353 --> 00:21:50,138
to learn a very probably common lesson the

607
00:21:50,138 --> 00:21:52,048
hard way, and hopefully they remember it for

608
00:21:52,048 --> 00:21:52,605
the future.

609
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:53,980
So

610
00:21:55,326 --> 00:21:58,192
everybody who plays with Cnc and free use

611
00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,943
and all the different versions of it that

612
00:21:59,943 --> 00:22:03,063
there can be. Has their own reasons for

613
00:22:03,063 --> 00:22:06,006
it, their own motivations, what they get out

614
00:22:06,006 --> 00:22:07,756
of it, what they're looking for out of

615
00:22:07,756 --> 00:22:07,836
it.

616
00:22:08,711 --> 00:22:09,211
Whatever

617
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,320
that other person, these other people get from

618
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,680
it does not have to be the same

619
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,000
thing, you get from it. So if this

620
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,165
person was having that experience and was like,

621
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:21,416
you know, I I didn't... I was just

622
00:22:21,416 --> 00:22:22,764
taking it, and I didn't like it and,

623
00:22:22,843 --> 00:22:24,880
you know, that's what I thought other piece

624
00:22:24,919 --> 00:22:26,750
people light, and I was just kind of

625
00:22:26,750 --> 00:22:28,341
waiting for it to be over waiting for

626
00:22:28,341 --> 00:22:28,819
him to come.

627
00:22:29,774 --> 00:22:31,627
You know, the thing to

628
00:22:32,161 --> 00:22:34,803
decide for yourself and to, I thing to,

629
00:22:34,882 --> 00:22:36,793
like, internalize for yourself is,

630
00:22:37,669 --> 00:22:40,375
if there's nothing about this moment I'm enjoying,

631
00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:42,627
whether it's the excitement, the fear

632
00:22:42,938 --> 00:22:45,487
the powerless, the... I mean, pick a thing.

633
00:22:45,726 --> 00:22:48,114
Right? Yeah. If there's nothing about this that

634
00:22:48,274 --> 00:22:50,583
I'm enjoying, and I am just desperate for

635
00:22:50,583 --> 00:22:52,425
it to be over. And that even desperate

636
00:22:52,425 --> 00:22:55,598
just this isn't even for me any more.

637
00:22:56,074 --> 00:22:57,184
And it's painful,

638
00:22:57,661 --> 00:22:58,716
and and anne

639
00:22:59,818 --> 00:23:01,328
safe for the fuck out of it. Right.

640
00:23:01,487 --> 00:23:03,394
The safe safe words we often talk about

641
00:23:03,474 --> 00:23:05,540
Safe is a bad thing has happened and

642
00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:07,686
it's about to be imminent danger. Sometimes the

643
00:23:07,686 --> 00:23:08,743
safe word is

644
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,513
I don't want

645
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:13,609
this. Right. I thought I did and I

646
00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:16,086
especially say for it. Especially that they were

647
00:23:16,086 --> 00:23:16,986
trying something

648
00:23:17,699 --> 00:23:20,575
renew for the first time. Mh. Over, you

649
00:23:20,575 --> 00:23:20,735
know,

650
00:23:21,774 --> 00:23:23,372
a big step over and above what they

651
00:23:23,372 --> 00:23:24,490
had been doing. Yes.

652
00:23:25,383 --> 00:23:27,776
Okay? Mh. And and at the same time,

653
00:23:29,850 --> 00:23:31,445
does... It doesn't say in there how long

654
00:23:31,445 --> 00:23:32,881
they've been together. Doesn't...

655
00:23:33,599 --> 00:23:36,794
No. I don't know. I know. M. But,

656
00:23:36,953 --> 00:23:38,064
I mean, you know,

657
00:23:38,778 --> 00:23:40,919
if if it if it's someone that has

658
00:23:40,919 --> 00:23:41,475
played together,

659
00:23:42,204 --> 00:23:43,721
for any amount of time,

660
00:23:44,998 --> 00:23:46,514
you know, on on his side,

661
00:23:47,232 --> 00:23:50,026
he needs to be more aware of visual

662
00:23:50,026 --> 00:23:50,526
cues

663
00:23:50,998 --> 00:23:53,787
Yes. And when in doubt, check. Yeah. Which

664
00:23:53,867 --> 00:23:55,540
I... You know, III

665
00:23:55,540 --> 00:23:57,691
can already hear folks with a very, like,

666
00:23:58,503 --> 00:24:01,238
1 or 2 dimensional view of Cnc.

667
00:24:01,616 --> 00:24:03,553
Then, you don't check in, that's the Cnc.

668
00:24:06,325 --> 00:24:09,445
Once you know you're good to go. Yeah

669
00:24:09,525 --> 00:24:11,594
You know, But maybe not. You wait for

670
00:24:11,594 --> 00:24:14,481
the queues, you... Whatever whatever. Mh. And that

671
00:24:14,777 --> 00:24:17,098
to me, I'm still iffy on. That because

672
00:24:17,098 --> 00:24:18,764
we... Maybe it's because you and I don't

673
00:24:18,764 --> 00:24:21,645
play hard. We're not trying to create some

674
00:24:21,701 --> 00:24:24,081
very taboo scenes with words I would not

675
00:24:24,081 --> 00:24:26,321
even say right. Now. That's... Right? Like, we're

676
00:24:26,321 --> 00:24:27,037
not trying to do.

677
00:24:27,832 --> 00:24:29,423
And quite frankly, if you're not trying to

678
00:24:29,423 --> 00:24:32,047
do that, why wouldn't you check in? Because

679
00:24:32,047 --> 00:24:33,557
there are sexy ways to check it. Sure.

680
00:24:33,717 --> 00:24:35,163
Really there are ways to sound kind of,

681
00:24:35,242 --> 00:24:37,070
like, brood and kind of rough and kind

682
00:24:37,070 --> 00:24:37,705
of right off.

683
00:24:38,738 --> 00:24:40,248
But when it's a first time,

684
00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:43,640
fucking check in. Okay. Because

685
00:24:44,157 --> 00:24:47,584
you know, even even you, we've been together

686
00:24:47,584 --> 00:24:48,939
as long as we have you read my

687
00:24:48,939 --> 00:24:51,742
body language well, 99.9

688
00:24:51,742 --> 00:24:53,253
percent of the time. But there... Yeah. There's

689
00:24:53,253 --> 00:24:55,242
always at 0.1 percent where you might not.

690
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,867
And if we're doing something new,

691
00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:00,119
you were asking me. You were right. You

692
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:02,039
were doing that check to just sort of

693
00:25:02,039 --> 00:25:04,440
take the temperature of is this working?

694
00:25:05,079 --> 00:25:05,579
Absolutely.

695
00:25:06,279 --> 00:25:06,920
But, you know,

696
00:25:08,293 --> 00:25:10,681
some some people disagree and people think what

697
00:25:10,681 --> 00:25:12,830
they wanna think. No. Safe for it's belong

698
00:25:12,830 --> 00:25:15,059
in Cnc. That's what the fucking Safe. Yeah.

699
00:25:15,457 --> 00:25:17,208
The safe word or the gesture or the

700
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:19,458
whatever you establish should not be the end

701
00:25:19,458 --> 00:25:20,816
all be all, but that's why you use

702
00:25:20,816 --> 00:25:22,095
a Safe word. So you can say things

703
00:25:22,095 --> 00:25:25,212
like, no. Stop. Don't. Right. Because the safe

704
00:25:25,212 --> 00:25:27,550
word safe word... Supposed to be the deli.

705
00:25:27,865 --> 00:25:28,345
To right.

706
00:25:28,984 --> 00:25:29,484
And

707
00:25:30,505 --> 00:25:31,305
I lost my thought.

708
00:25:33,144 --> 00:25:34,184
Hate it when that happens. Yeah.

709
00:25:35,065 --> 00:25:36,676
I'll say this. To get back to this

710
00:25:36,676 --> 00:25:38,815
person's original question. Mh. Is always set at

711
00:25:38,815 --> 00:25:41,509
the top. I think you come together as

712
00:25:41,509 --> 00:25:43,490
human beings who just genuinely like 1 enough,

713
00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:46,120
there. Yeah. And you don't worry so much

714
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,785
about the power exchange. It doesn't mean that

715
00:25:47,785 --> 00:25:49,766
the power exchange is not there. But, like,

716
00:25:50,004 --> 00:25:51,448
I think in the comments there were saying

717
00:25:51,448 --> 00:25:52,963
that they have sort of a ritual of

718
00:25:52,963 --> 00:25:54,398
when they arrive. Like, they get naked and

719
00:25:54,398 --> 00:25:54,956
they do this then.

720
00:25:55,753 --> 00:25:58,305
Not this time, not until you're both on

721
00:25:58,305 --> 00:25:59,682
firmer or ground until

722
00:26:00,153 --> 00:26:02,859
the submissive is kind of in a head

723
00:26:02,859 --> 00:26:05,246
space. It might not be the exact heads

724
00:26:05,246 --> 00:26:07,316
space you're used to. Right. You might not

725
00:26:07,316 --> 00:26:09,002
be often in the mouth out of horn,

726
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:09,740
but

727
00:26:10,195 --> 00:26:12,128
there's gonna come point where you feel

728
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,572
a desire or a certain comfort level or

729
00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:16,574
a often I want I want to be

730
00:26:16,574 --> 00:26:18,958
doing the thing we normally do. That's when

731
00:26:18,958 --> 00:26:21,023
you... And you know what? If it only

732
00:26:21,023 --> 00:26:22,453
takes a couple hours to get there great.

733
00:26:22,692 --> 00:26:24,697
If it takes a couple days, That's okay

734
00:26:24,697 --> 00:26:26,931
too. It it... There should not be a

735
00:26:26,931 --> 00:26:28,867
time limit it. You went through something where

736
00:26:29,485 --> 00:26:31,974
it didn't go as planned. You realized later

737
00:26:31,974 --> 00:26:33,255
that you should have safe worded, but in

738
00:26:33,255 --> 00:26:33,654
the moment,

739
00:26:34,294 --> 00:26:35,414
weren't... That wasn't where your head was at.

740
00:26:35,575 --> 00:26:37,174
You didn't get the after care that you

741
00:26:37,174 --> 00:26:37,414
needed,

742
00:26:38,134 --> 00:26:38,634
drop

743
00:26:39,095 --> 00:26:41,524
especially like, if you do something you usually

744
00:26:41,662 --> 00:26:44,155
go through or drop when it comes after

745
00:26:44,373 --> 00:26:46,924
an emotional low instead of that emotional time,

746
00:26:47,323 --> 00:26:49,089
that's a tough 1. Because when we have

747
00:26:49,089 --> 00:26:51,235
the emotional high, it sucks to drop, but

748
00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:52,983
you at least have the memory of all

749
00:26:52,983 --> 00:26:54,096
that was amazing.

750
00:26:55,049 --> 00:26:57,472
But if the member is less than positive.

751
00:26:57,688 --> 00:26:59,757
Like, why would you wanna put yourself in

752
00:26:59,757 --> 00:27:01,825
that again? Like I can see it. So

753
00:27:01,825 --> 00:27:04,463
no, I... You know, now. Yeah. Don't worry

754
00:27:04,463 --> 00:27:05,996
about your routines. Don't worry about

755
00:27:06,767 --> 00:27:08,674
until... You you all need to step back.

756
00:27:08,833 --> 00:27:11,001
Yeah. Yep. And and and

757
00:27:11,629 --> 00:27:13,304
group. And then consider this a hard?

758
00:27:13,942 --> 00:27:16,972
Lesson. Earned lesson. Yeah. Yep. You know, what

759
00:27:16,972 --> 00:27:18,327
will you do better in the future. And

760
00:27:18,327 --> 00:27:19,843
that should... If it hasn't already been, that's

761
00:27:19,843 --> 00:27:22,004
the conversation to have. It. You know? Do

762
00:27:22,004 --> 00:27:23,591
we wanna try this again And if we

763
00:27:23,591 --> 00:27:25,574
do what will we do differently and better

764
00:27:25,574 --> 00:27:27,240
next time. Right? Mh.

765
00:27:29,488 --> 00:27:31,805
Okay. Next 1, This 1 is gone a

766
00:27:31,805 --> 00:27:32,524
long 1 too.

767
00:27:33,723 --> 00:27:37,592
Okay. Dd d g dynamics with age slash

768
00:27:37,647 --> 00:27:38,836
body securities.

769
00:27:39,867 --> 00:27:42,641
Hello all. I'm female in a daddy down

770
00:27:42,641 --> 00:27:44,879
little girl marriage. We are both mid forties.

771
00:27:45,039 --> 00:27:47,436
We've been together 14 years in the lifestyle

772
00:27:47,436 --> 00:27:49,594
for less than 5 years in its current

773
00:27:49,594 --> 00:27:52,631
form. I was dominant prior. The dynamic is

774
00:27:52,631 --> 00:27:55,122
fluid mostly in the bedroom with showing up

775
00:27:55,122 --> 00:27:56,878
occasionally in our marriage, but we do not

776
00:27:56,878 --> 00:27:59,034
have a 24 7 Dd g arrangement.

777
00:27:59,673 --> 00:28:02,147
I am an overweight female, 5 4 and

778
00:28:02,147 --> 00:28:04,310
a hundred and 70 pounds. This is relevant

779
00:28:04,310 --> 00:28:05,181
to the situation.

780
00:28:05,974 --> 00:28:08,667
Recently during play playtime, my feelings were hurt

781
00:28:08,667 --> 00:28:10,982
when my daddy doll was playing with my

782
00:28:10,982 --> 00:28:13,050
very large breasts and talking about how much

783
00:28:13,050 --> 00:28:14,641
he loved my flat chest.

784
00:28:15,437 --> 00:28:17,266
Even though this type of talk has been

785
00:28:17,266 --> 00:28:19,672
occurring for years. In this instant, I felt

786
00:28:19,672 --> 00:28:21,505
sad that my boobs were not loved as

787
00:28:21,505 --> 00:28:23,976
they are. It was fleeting, but re reoccurring

788
00:28:23,976 --> 00:28:24,613
days later.

789
00:28:25,171 --> 00:28:26,702
I talked us out with my daddy Dom,

790
00:28:26,862 --> 00:28:29,016
he was amazing and immediately offered to stop

791
00:28:29,016 --> 00:28:31,490
saying anything that contradicted the reality of my

792
00:28:31,490 --> 00:28:33,725
body. I am thankful. And at the moment

793
00:28:33,725 --> 00:28:35,569
the entire dynamic is on hold while we

794
00:28:35,569 --> 00:28:36,125
talk this out.

795
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,463
After much discussion, he told me that part

796
00:28:39,463 --> 00:28:41,940
of him does wish she could have sex

797
00:28:41,940 --> 00:28:44,558
with someone younger and thinner than me. He

798
00:28:44,558 --> 00:28:46,620
said he also wishes sometimes that I was

799
00:28:46,620 --> 00:28:47,969
smaller and that in particular,

800
00:28:49,334 --> 00:28:51,662
I look big when I'm in doggy style

801
00:28:51,718 --> 00:28:54,023
position. I asked him how much of him

802
00:28:54,023 --> 00:28:56,827
wants that reality, and he said 25

803
00:28:56,884 --> 00:28:57,042
percent.

804
00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,689
He said 75 percent of him is happy

805
00:28:59,689 --> 00:29:01,524
in our marriage and with me, but that

806
00:29:01,524 --> 00:29:03,300
other part of him wants everything.

807
00:29:03,758 --> 00:29:06,160
All the sex and freedom basically a porn

808
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:09,097
star life with porn star level hot girls.

809
00:29:10,130 --> 00:29:12,352
He admits this is immature is that he

810
00:29:12,352 --> 00:29:14,605
would and he never ever would do anything

811
00:29:14,605 --> 00:29:16,365
to be with anyone else and will never

812
00:29:16,365 --> 00:29:17,884
leave me. He has made it clear that

813
00:29:17,884 --> 00:29:19,804
he chooses me and will stay with me

814
00:29:19,804 --> 00:29:20,684
because he loves me.

815
00:29:21,419 --> 00:29:23,570
I suppose I'm now having great difficulty letting

816
00:29:23,570 --> 00:29:25,243
this go, and I'm wondering how I'll ever

817
00:29:25,243 --> 00:29:27,314
feel brave enough to be naked around him

818
00:29:27,314 --> 00:29:30,203
again, let alone be little in my advanced

819
00:29:30,203 --> 00:29:32,040
age. I'm gonna stop here and give side

820
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:33,959
eye to advanced age. I know. Right?

821
00:29:34,758 --> 00:29:36,995
I feel vulnerable and so very ugly. He

822
00:29:36,995 --> 00:29:39,242
is being. Kind and reassuring me that I'm

823
00:29:39,242 --> 00:29:41,232
not ugly that I am beautiful to him,

824
00:29:41,311 --> 00:29:44,018
but I definitely feel not good enough. I

825
00:29:44,018 --> 00:29:45,451
thankful that he shared with me what he

826
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,704
feels in Desires, but oh, wow. I really

827
00:29:47,704 --> 00:29:49,224
wanted it to just be me.

828
00:29:49,865 --> 00:29:51,784
He will we will definitely be speaking to

829
00:29:51,784 --> 00:29:53,718
our therapist about this. But in the time

830
00:29:53,798 --> 00:29:55,870
I need solid advice from people in the

831
00:29:55,870 --> 00:29:58,681
lifestyle? So here's my question. Can Dd d

832
00:29:58,739 --> 00:30:01,782
dynamics exist as you, quote, age out in

833
00:30:01,782 --> 00:30:04,089
a healthy way. Does anyone older than us

834
00:30:04,089 --> 00:30:05,920
have a success story to give me hope.

835
00:30:06,397 --> 00:30:08,386
Is it time to maybe transition into a

836
00:30:08,386 --> 00:30:10,159
more standard Ds dynamic?

837
00:30:10,868 --> 00:30:13,175
Or are these red flags are signaling trouble

838
00:30:13,175 --> 00:30:14,766
ahead thanks in advance.

839
00:30:15,402 --> 00:30:17,884
I want to hug her. Yeah. First to

840
00:30:17,884 --> 00:30:19,962
think that mid forties is advanced stage. We

841
00:30:19,962 --> 00:30:21,400
we all need to calm down as a

842
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,078
mid forties girl who's struggling with it.

843
00:30:23,877 --> 00:30:26,947
We we technically dependent on how health genetics

844
00:30:27,082 --> 00:30:29,147
lifestyle, but we got 40 more years ahead

845
00:30:29,147 --> 00:30:31,155
of us. That's a long damn time

846
00:30:31,529 --> 00:30:33,038
if we're lucky, knock on, with all the

847
00:30:33,038 --> 00:30:33,355
stuff. Yeah.

848
00:30:34,244 --> 00:30:36,550
Well, heart hurts for her. Yeah.

849
00:30:39,174 --> 00:30:41,639
So here's my first thought. Alright. I think

850
00:30:41,639 --> 00:30:43,230
we had this... We did this episode a

851
00:30:43,230 --> 00:30:45,954
few weeks ago. That not every thought you

852
00:30:45,954 --> 00:30:46,454
think

853
00:30:46,991 --> 00:30:49,623
needs to be communicated. Right. It... Yeah. It

854
00:30:49,623 --> 00:30:52,356
doesn't... Yeah. It doesn't... Like, I I definitely

855
00:30:52,654 --> 00:30:54,902
understand because we've we've had that conversation too

856
00:30:54,902 --> 00:30:56,498
about. I think a thought... I say a

857
00:30:56,498 --> 00:30:58,435
thought because I wanna be able to share

858
00:30:59,292 --> 00:31:00,888
all the different parts of me with you.

859
00:31:01,127 --> 00:31:01,287
Yeah.

860
00:31:02,818 --> 00:31:04,915
But if the parts of me

861
00:31:05,772 --> 00:31:07,528
that I wanna share the thoughts that I

862
00:31:07,528 --> 00:31:08,028
have

863
00:31:08,407 --> 00:31:10,482
could only be hurtful to you, and there's

864
00:31:10,482 --> 00:31:11,759
nothing that can be done about.

865
00:31:12,494 --> 00:31:14,974
She can't be younger. She shouldn't have to

866
00:31:14,974 --> 00:31:15,774
be smaller.

867
00:31:16,174 --> 00:31:19,054
She's got big boobs celebrate the big Tata.

868
00:31:19,694 --> 00:31:22,423
I say, like, the... She can do nothing

869
00:31:22,423 --> 00:31:24,496
to change that. Nor should she have to

870
00:31:24,576 --> 00:31:26,011
Nor should she try if she doesn't want

871
00:31:26,011 --> 00:31:29,772
to? Correct. And yet, he felt compelled That

872
00:31:29,772 --> 00:31:32,234
was the thing she needed to know. I

873
00:31:32,234 --> 00:31:34,799
know. She didn't meet... Those got notion stayed

874
00:31:34,855 --> 00:31:37,158
inside thought some thought Going to be inside.

875
00:31:37,476 --> 00:31:39,407
Yeah. And that's 1 of them. You know,

876
00:31:40,366 --> 00:31:42,922
the the thing that kinda jumped up with

877
00:31:42,922 --> 00:31:43,242
me,

878
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,008
you know, during during the scene where he

879
00:31:47,008 --> 00:31:47,508
was,

880
00:31:49,959 --> 00:31:51,496
you know, kind of

881
00:31:52,511 --> 00:31:54,720
humiliating her. I know. Made me wonder if

882
00:31:54,839 --> 00:31:56,913
they have that as partnered dynamics am. Right.

883
00:31:57,631 --> 00:31:58,508
And and, you know,

884
00:31:59,704 --> 00:32:00,603
we do

885
00:32:01,300 --> 00:32:03,613
our own form of humiliation between you and

886
00:32:03,692 --> 00:32:04,011
I,

887
00:32:05,062 --> 00:32:05,380
but

888
00:32:11,897 --> 00:32:15,007
you're you're you're not and confused Are you?

889
00:32:15,325 --> 00:32:16,356
No. Here's the thing.

890
00:32:17,150 --> 00:32:18,736
She can't un hear any of that.

891
00:32:19,768 --> 00:32:20,482
Unfortunately, no.

892
00:32:21,611 --> 00:32:21,851
No.

893
00:32:22,807 --> 00:32:23,206
You know,

894
00:32:25,199 --> 00:32:27,032
you know, at the same time, there were

895
00:32:27,032 --> 00:32:28,967
certain things that... In the beginning

896
00:32:29,279 --> 00:32:31,435
certain phrases and words that I said,

897
00:32:31,993 --> 00:32:33,910
you know, that were like, oh, no.

898
00:32:34,548 --> 00:32:36,704
Oh no. Don't ever. Please don't say that.

899
00:32:36,864 --> 00:32:39,432
That will not work. Right. You know, And

900
00:32:39,432 --> 00:32:41,660
and and and that type of thing was,

901
00:32:41,819 --> 00:32:44,127
you know, off the table. Right. You know,

902
00:32:44,366 --> 00:32:44,866
and

903
00:32:46,037 --> 00:32:47,947
pretty much know what I can and can't

904
00:32:47,947 --> 00:32:49,792
say it this point. And if I discover

905
00:32:49,792 --> 00:32:51,621
something, I go, by the way. Mh. That.

906
00:32:51,859 --> 00:32:52,098
Mh.

907
00:32:54,006 --> 00:32:56,494
You know, So there there is that

908
00:32:57,267 --> 00:32:58,221
too. Mh.

909
00:32:59,033 --> 00:33:01,188
But, you know, what when he was talking

910
00:33:01,188 --> 00:33:03,742
about... Yeah. You're absolutely right. You know, some

911
00:33:03,742 --> 00:33:06,455
things should never be be set out loud.

912
00:33:07,825 --> 00:33:08,223
And

913
00:33:09,418 --> 00:33:11,329
you know, in in most cases,

914
00:33:11,728 --> 00:33:14,037
fantasy should remain a fantasy. And that's the

915
00:33:14,037 --> 00:33:16,044
thing. He was describing a fan a scene.

916
00:33:16,283 --> 00:33:18,118
Yeah. But he set it out loud, put

917
00:33:18,118 --> 00:33:19,097
it in her

918
00:33:19,474 --> 00:33:20,910
mind, so it gets to live in her

919
00:33:20,910 --> 00:33:23,476
memory hold now. And it you know, I...

920
00:33:23,714 --> 00:33:25,781
I'm not saying that it can't be overcome.

921
00:33:26,099 --> 00:33:27,927
I, you know, maybe with the right therapy,

922
00:33:28,086 --> 00:33:29,993
maybe with enough time between them,

923
00:33:30,804 --> 00:33:32,401
you know, she might get to a point

924
00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:34,397
where she feels more secure because what I

925
00:33:34,397 --> 00:33:36,712
would love for anybody and everybody is for

926
00:33:36,712 --> 00:33:38,090
you to feel secure

927
00:33:38,548 --> 00:33:41,035
in yourself regardless of what the people around

928
00:33:41,035 --> 00:33:43,501
you think. Mean, that's the ideal. I haven't

929
00:33:43,501 --> 00:33:45,649
achieved it yet either. It's just an ideal.

930
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,564
But she's does not have that. The the

931
00:33:49,564 --> 00:33:51,797
person she's been with for what, 14 years.

932
00:33:52,196 --> 00:33:54,211
Yeah. That she has this vulnerable

933
00:33:54,908 --> 00:33:56,503
relationship with Power exchange is vulnerable.

934
00:33:57,460 --> 00:33:59,269
Who... He's supposed... The base

935
00:33:59,869 --> 00:34:01,309
from what it sounds like the way they

936
00:34:01,309 --> 00:34:03,070
do their sex life and their power change

937
00:34:03,070 --> 00:34:03,630
in the bedroom,

938
00:34:04,349 --> 00:34:07,309
like, it's not... It sounds like it's sort

939
00:34:07,309 --> 00:34:09,083
of supposed to be a, yeah. Common your

940
00:34:09,083 --> 00:34:10,456
body, but I'm I'm

941
00:34:11,228 --> 00:34:13,373
giving it all this attention and affection and

942
00:34:13,373 --> 00:34:15,757
pleasure and whatever they do. And she gets

943
00:34:15,757 --> 00:34:17,559
to kind of feel little and go into

944
00:34:17,599 --> 00:34:19,832
space, and I don't wanna speak for this

945
00:34:19,832 --> 00:34:22,065
person, and I can't speak for everybody, but

946
00:34:22,065 --> 00:34:23,362
let me tell you

947
00:34:23,819 --> 00:34:26,824
personally how hard I struggled with the idea

948
00:34:27,103 --> 00:34:28,938
of even though I don't consider myself a

949
00:34:28,938 --> 00:34:30,374
a quote, true little,

950
00:34:31,331 --> 00:34:32,847
baby girls to me are on that spectrum

951
00:34:32,847 --> 00:34:34,043
of what it means to be a little.

952
00:34:34,282 --> 00:34:36,595
Mh. And the thing I struggled with that

953
00:34:36,595 --> 00:34:38,622
first was, but I am not physically

954
00:34:38,997 --> 00:34:41,463
little? I'm also... Was not physically young, and

955
00:34:41,463 --> 00:34:43,554
so can I be, quote, a little

956
00:34:44,025 --> 00:34:46,744
and if this person has any remnant of

957
00:34:46,744 --> 00:34:49,324
that in their mind in their insecurities

958
00:34:49,625 --> 00:34:51,644
to then be told by the person

959
00:34:52,119 --> 00:34:53,900
who was supposed to

960
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,199
be the person they could trust above all?

961
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,239
The person who, by all accounts should desire

962
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:00,694
them above all that does not mean can't

963
00:35:00,694 --> 00:35:02,532
be fantasies and, like, of course. Like, that's

964
00:35:02,532 --> 00:35:03,252
not what I'm saying.

965
00:35:03,891 --> 00:35:06,389
To be then told that you're kinda big

966
00:35:07,408 --> 00:35:09,405
in this position, like, look, here's the thing.

967
00:35:09,646 --> 00:35:11,097
They're in a big girl out there who's

968
00:35:11,097 --> 00:35:13,113
not kind of aware of what they

969
00:35:13,969 --> 00:35:16,840
big person. We let's Gender. Who's not a

970
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,595
little bit aware of what they probably look

971
00:35:18,595 --> 00:35:20,762
like, I personally don't like to fuck around

972
00:35:20,762 --> 00:35:22,933
in front of Mirrors because I don't want

973
00:35:23,785 --> 00:35:26,251
the vision. Right? I don't have that much

974
00:35:26,808 --> 00:35:29,136
security at within myself to do that. Other

975
00:35:29,136 --> 00:35:29,934
people do doing, and that's great.

976
00:35:31,211 --> 00:35:32,888
And I just... Like, I think that's why

977
00:35:33,047 --> 00:35:35,762
I feel this 1 so deeply because if

978
00:35:35,762 --> 00:35:37,954
you were to say, I looked on big

979
00:35:38,014 --> 00:35:40,094
in Dogg. First of all, I know. Okay.

980
00:35:40,255 --> 00:35:42,094
I have seen this ass bit over

981
00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:42,815
Unaware.

982
00:35:43,454 --> 00:35:45,614
But then that... I get it. That's that's

983
00:35:45,614 --> 00:35:47,385
all I would be thinking were thinking. I

984
00:35:47,385 --> 00:35:49,215
don't know. Even though there's a better than

985
00:35:49,215 --> 00:35:50,511
good chance that you would

986
00:35:51,443 --> 00:35:53,353
you would, you know, you would not think

987
00:35:53,353 --> 00:35:55,263
that every time. You would think positive things

988
00:35:55,263 --> 00:35:55,501
about me.

989
00:35:56,234 --> 00:35:56,734
I'm

990
00:35:58,231 --> 00:36:00,389
the the fantasy thing that he would have.

991
00:36:00,948 --> 00:36:03,265
I believe that, yes, we should be able

992
00:36:03,265 --> 00:36:05,760
to share our fantasies with our partners. Even

993
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,639
if you're fully mono and there's never gonna

994
00:36:08,639 --> 00:36:09,119
be in.

995
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:11,014
We... You know, there's

996
00:36:12,644 --> 00:36:14,394
I think that it should be okay if

997
00:36:14,394 --> 00:36:16,621
both partners consent to hearing fantasies just to

998
00:36:16,621 --> 00:36:19,166
to share fantasies. But it's not the either

999
00:36:19,166 --> 00:36:21,409
to detriment of the... Dirt not not to

1000
00:36:21,409 --> 00:36:24,432
be derogatory to the partner. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

1001
00:36:25,626 --> 00:36:26,126
So

1002
00:36:26,994 --> 00:36:27,952
The thing is,

1003
00:36:28,830 --> 00:36:30,507
you know, first of all, I'm gonna say

1004
00:36:30,507 --> 00:36:32,103
the the fact that 1 of the her

1005
00:36:32,103 --> 00:36:34,498
first questions was can d did d Lg

1006
00:36:34,498 --> 00:36:36,507
dynamics exist as you age out in a

1007
00:36:36,507 --> 00:36:39,125
healthy way. That speaks to another insecurity that

1008
00:36:39,125 --> 00:36:40,791
maybe is not really being brought up here

1009
00:36:40,791 --> 00:36:41,187
because

1010
00:36:41,663 --> 00:36:43,567
Little is a state of mind. It's not

1011
00:36:43,567 --> 00:36:45,034
about your age

1012
00:36:45,573 --> 00:36:47,571
body size. It's just about how you feel

1013
00:36:47,571 --> 00:36:49,670
an interact. And that with a

1014
00:36:50,528 --> 00:36:50,768
2.

1015
00:36:51,567 --> 00:36:53,725
Alright. They they are doing, you know,

1016
00:36:54,619 --> 00:36:55,820
in it... They were... They were in a

1017
00:36:55,900 --> 00:36:57,039
Dd g dynamic.

1018
00:36:57,660 --> 00:36:59,660
And maybe it's not right for them. Right.

1019
00:36:59,900 --> 00:37:01,980
Just like we were in a, you know,

1020
00:37:02,140 --> 00:37:03,440
a a ser

1021
00:37:04,152 --> 00:37:05,822
here's the thing. It sounds like it's right

1022
00:37:05,822 --> 00:37:07,891
for her. It is what she wants? Yeah.

1023
00:37:08,130 --> 00:37:10,300
But can she see her

1024
00:37:10,835 --> 00:37:12,719
husband as her daddy dom anymore

1025
00:37:13,474 --> 00:37:13,713
Look,

1026
00:37:14,825 --> 00:37:16,652
I'm gonna... This might sound harsh to somebody

1027
00:37:16,652 --> 00:37:17,923
somebody's not gonna like it. I don't I

1028
00:37:17,923 --> 00:37:18,797
don't think I give a fuck.

1029
00:37:20,005 --> 00:37:22,085
So all dominance have a sense... Have... Have...

1030
00:37:22,244 --> 00:37:24,405
Should have responsibility to their submissive partners? Yes.

1031
00:37:24,724 --> 00:37:25,284
Yes. It does.

1032
00:37:26,804 --> 00:37:27,284
To me,

1033
00:37:28,098 --> 00:37:29,236
I think the caregiver

1034
00:37:29,853 --> 00:37:30,251
dominant.

1035
00:37:31,527 --> 00:37:33,920
There needs to be some care given not

1036
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,871
that other dominance shouldn't, but there's this inherent,

1037
00:37:36,951 --> 00:37:40,005
like, un there's... We... There's a... It's understood

1038
00:37:40,005 --> 00:37:42,164
that there's supposed to be some kind of

1039
00:37:42,164 --> 00:37:43,845
nurturing. Yeah. Some kind of, like...

1040
00:37:44,485 --> 00:37:44,724
It's

1041
00:37:45,364 --> 00:37:47,138
I don't like to use the word softer

1042
00:37:47,138 --> 00:37:49,536
because you're a sadistic bastard and a Daddy

1043
00:37:49,536 --> 00:37:50,974
dom, but there's just this...

1044
00:37:51,933 --> 00:37:54,330
It's not a... It it's supposed to be

1045
00:37:54,330 --> 00:37:54,830
about

1046
00:37:55,704 --> 00:37:57,382
on some level, taking care of your little.

1047
00:37:57,462 --> 00:37:59,460
Like, whatever that means and whatever that looks

1048
00:37:59,460 --> 00:37:59,779
like the...

1049
00:38:01,298 --> 00:38:03,695
That was not taking care of her. Not

1050
00:38:03,695 --> 00:38:06,021
at mean wet Not at all. Is he

1051
00:38:06,021 --> 00:38:07,930
a daddy Dah? Is that what worked for

1052
00:38:07,930 --> 00:38:09,123
now is she? Right.

1053
00:38:09,839 --> 00:38:12,002
You know, it it's different like, I'm sure

1054
00:38:12,002 --> 00:38:13,513
it's harder. If they're married, and they wanna

1055
00:38:13,513 --> 00:38:14,809
stay married in their mono,

1056
00:38:15,184 --> 00:38:17,490
then if he's not a daddy dump, but

1057
00:38:17,490 --> 00:38:18,206
she's a little...

1058
00:38:19,097 --> 00:38:21,089
Yeah. How do you thread that needle? I

1059
00:38:21,089 --> 00:38:22,045
don't know. I don't know.

1060
00:38:22,762 --> 00:38:25,630
But I mean, before anybody's fucking around, I

1061
00:38:25,630 --> 00:38:28,260
would have to get right with my insecurity.

1062
00:38:29,231 --> 00:38:31,460
Said. Now 1 thing, I, you know, at

1063
00:38:31,460 --> 00:38:32,575
the end, you're talking about,

1064
00:38:34,088 --> 00:38:36,022
they are gonna talk about this with their

1065
00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:36,876
with their... Which are love.

1066
00:38:37,686 --> 00:38:39,835
Which I think is fantastic. Mh. My 1

1067
00:38:39,835 --> 00:38:42,541
hope is at their therapist or therapist where

1068
00:38:42,541 --> 00:38:43,974
they meet together or separately,

1069
00:38:44,690 --> 00:38:47,664
which are can wear. Yes. Oh my god.

1070
00:38:47,824 --> 00:38:49,045
God. Because

1071
00:38:49,425 --> 00:38:50,484
what has happened

1072
00:38:50,784 --> 00:38:52,964
is is so wound up

1073
00:38:54,319 --> 00:38:55,217
in their dynamic.

1074
00:38:56,948 --> 00:38:58,462
That needs to be addressed. Right.

1075
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:02,207
Right. Because now there's a... There's not just

1076
00:39:02,207 --> 00:39:05,171
her own insecurities that she's I'm just stare

1077
00:39:05,171 --> 00:39:05,490
at.

1078
00:39:06,128 --> 00:39:07,564
That we're probably there, but, you know what?

1079
00:39:07,723 --> 00:39:10,355
It... When you think that your partner find

1080
00:39:10,355 --> 00:39:11,254
you attractive

1081
00:39:11,711 --> 00:39:12,987
adore you whatever or whatever,

1082
00:39:13,705 --> 00:39:16,346
is easy over time, especially to not think

1083
00:39:16,346 --> 00:39:17,699
about your insecurities. I... I mean,

1084
00:39:18,494 --> 00:39:19,846
truly, most of the time I could tell

1085
00:39:19,846 --> 00:39:21,294
you will the Straight face look and the

1086
00:39:21,294 --> 00:39:23,371
eye go. I'm not that insecure and until

1087
00:39:23,371 --> 00:39:25,368
something happens ago. Oh my god, I'm so

1088
00:39:25,368 --> 00:39:25,448
insecure.

1089
00:39:26,247 --> 00:39:28,579
Because you get into the state of being

1090
00:39:28,579 --> 00:39:30,579
in this back and forth and, you know,

1091
00:39:30,980 --> 00:39:32,660
you know how each other is.

1092
00:39:33,940 --> 00:39:35,460
The words are not coming properly, But you

1093
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:37,554
know what I mean. Like, yeah. The comfort

1094
00:39:37,554 --> 00:39:39,315
of being with a partner who's pretty like,

1095
00:39:39,554 --> 00:39:40,775
stable and and

1096
00:39:41,155 --> 00:39:41,554
consistent.

1097
00:39:42,034 --> 00:39:45,484
You can forget there in insecurities something reminds

1098
00:39:45,484 --> 00:39:47,946
you of them. So I can't help but

1099
00:39:47,946 --> 00:39:50,250
wonder if that was it. She was... Was

1100
00:39:50,250 --> 00:39:51,679
comfortable and Was like, okay, We're in this

1101
00:39:51,679 --> 00:39:52,576
together and now

1102
00:39:53,204 --> 00:39:55,276
she can't get... It all burns out of

1103
00:39:55,276 --> 00:39:56,073
her head. Yeah.

1104
00:39:57,030 --> 00:39:58,624
And and it kills him because 1 of

1105
00:39:58,624 --> 00:40:00,059
her questions is am I am I too

1106
00:40:00,059 --> 00:40:01,588
old to be a little now you not

1107
00:40:01,748 --> 00:40:04,460
No That. If that is authentic to you

1108
00:40:04,460 --> 00:40:06,853
and how you want to experience mission and

1109
00:40:06,853 --> 00:40:08,528
that's that's the head space you get into,

1110
00:40:08,687 --> 00:40:10,841
and that's who you are slash want to

1111
00:40:10,841 --> 00:40:13,239
be. Then that is Valid. Don't cute your.

1112
00:40:13,398 --> 00:40:14,827
You could be 80 and still have a

1113
00:40:14,827 --> 00:40:16,891
little side if you want. I... If I

1114
00:40:16,891 --> 00:40:18,241
don't have a playful,

1115
00:40:18,717 --> 00:40:20,960
na sassy baby girl side to me in

1116
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,039
my nineties. I'm a be pissed.

1117
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,760
Okay? I'm gonna need to speak... I'm gonna

1118
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:26,880
go karen. I'm gonna need to speak to

1119
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,400
a manager what the fuck happened.

1120
00:40:29,531 --> 00:40:31,359
Yeah. I hopefully intend to be the little

1121
00:40:31,359 --> 00:40:33,505
old lady who has truly 0 Fucks and

1122
00:40:33,505 --> 00:40:35,277
just says whatever, like, whatever.

1123
00:40:36,859 --> 00:40:38,771
Yeah, I mean, that's the part that that

1124
00:40:38,771 --> 00:40:39,271
breaks

1125
00:40:39,886 --> 00:40:42,594
my heart, you know, you don't have to

1126
00:40:42,594 --> 00:40:45,303
quote transition. What a standard Ds... I mean,

1127
00:40:45,462 --> 00:40:46,992
I get what they what somebody many means

1128
00:40:46,992 --> 00:40:48,906
and they say standard ds. Mh. But none

1129
00:40:48,906 --> 00:40:50,342
of it is supposed to be standard. Supposed

1130
00:40:50,342 --> 00:40:53,075
to be whatever works for the 2 people

1131
00:40:53,213 --> 00:40:56,577
involved. Right. This dude has so I'm like,

1132
00:40:56,974 --> 00:40:57,474
serious.

1133
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:00,634
I hate to say it, and somebody's he's

1134
00:41:00,634 --> 00:41:01,668
gonna be mad me. I don't give a

1135
00:41:01,668 --> 00:41:02,781
fuck. You better grove.

1136
00:41:03,432 --> 00:41:06,377
You better be true. You better spend all

1137
00:41:06,377 --> 00:41:07,968
your time begging her up.

1138
00:41:08,684 --> 00:41:09,639
And, you know...

1139
00:41:10,276 --> 00:41:12,026
And and we prepare for her not to

1140
00:41:12,026 --> 00:41:14,353
believe fucking word you said? They would say,

1141
00:41:15,710 --> 00:41:17,863
at 1 I've got some serious back pedal...

1142
00:41:18,182 --> 00:41:21,771
Oh. Okay. The the the not kind part

1143
00:41:21,771 --> 00:41:23,220
of myself. Mh.

1144
00:41:24,016 --> 00:41:26,006
When I was hearing what he was describing

1145
00:41:26,006 --> 00:41:27,360
what he wish she could have. Yeah. And

1146
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,111
here's the thing. It's okay to wish you

1147
00:41:29,111 --> 00:41:30,638
could have Those things it's okay to there's

1148
00:41:30,638 --> 00:41:32,544
this fantasies. It's okay to go god. That

1149
00:41:32,544 --> 00:41:33,259
would be amazing.

1150
00:41:33,973 --> 00:41:35,427
I'm not. I'm not,

1151
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,913
like, fault him for having the thoughts. Place

1152
00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:40,580
should have been inside thoughts about. All I

1153
00:41:40,580 --> 00:41:41,136
could think was,

1154
00:41:44,234 --> 00:41:46,481
is he 1 of those men

1155
00:41:47,187 --> 00:41:49,965
that wants that that pardon me, this is

1156
00:41:49,965 --> 00:41:51,950
a very ugly thing to think about another

1157
00:41:51,950 --> 00:41:54,172
human being, could never have fucking had in

1158
00:41:54,172 --> 00:41:54,966
the first place.

1159
00:41:56,410 --> 00:41:58,396
How many of those people have we come

1160
00:41:58,396 --> 00:42:00,144
across are like, oh, I want the Porn

1161
00:42:00,144 --> 00:42:02,209
star sex life. Now. First of all, port

1162
00:42:02,209 --> 00:42:04,329
us acting. Y'all that's right. That's how staged

1163
00:42:04,449 --> 00:42:05,878
and step up. The sex is real, but

1164
00:42:05,878 --> 00:42:06,434
like, come on,

1165
00:42:07,546 --> 00:42:08,579
you're not gonna have that kind of sex.

1166
00:42:08,737 --> 00:42:10,405
You could not handle it, you'd be exhausted,

1167
00:42:10,723 --> 00:42:12,152
and you'd probably very sticky by the time

1168
00:42:12,152 --> 00:42:12,470
of was I.

1169
00:42:14,153 --> 00:42:15,923
But like, the

1170
00:42:16,694 --> 00:42:18,441
this is the un kind part of me

1171
00:42:18,441 --> 00:42:19,870
that's a bitch, and I know I'm a

1172
00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:20,029
bitch.

1173
00:42:20,982 --> 00:42:22,347
The people who tend to be the most

1174
00:42:22,347 --> 00:42:23,856
vocal about. This is what I wish I

1175
00:42:23,856 --> 00:42:25,920
had, are the people who could never get

1176
00:42:25,920 --> 00:42:27,905
that in a hundred years. Not just for

1177
00:42:27,905 --> 00:42:28,143
lux.

1178
00:42:28,779 --> 00:42:31,343
Personality is usually most of it, but

1179
00:42:31,733 --> 00:42:33,247
I mean, part we would like to see

1180
00:42:33,247 --> 00:42:34,920
a a picture of him and does he

1181
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,390
look big and Doggy style position?

1182
00:42:39,235 --> 00:42:40,662
Does he still look like he did in

1183
00:42:40,662 --> 00:42:41,534
his twenties?

1184
00:42:42,644 --> 00:42:44,467
Fuck? It's... I know.

1185
00:42:45,181 --> 00:42:47,498
That's a stereotype of say, would like to

1186
00:42:47,498 --> 00:42:49,009
hear that from are the people who couldn't

1187
00:42:49,009 --> 00:42:50,996
have gotten in any way. Yeah. Which is

1188
00:42:50,996 --> 00:42:52,189
why it's a fantasy and let it live

1189
00:42:52,189 --> 00:42:53,700
in your fucking head and let it be

1190
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:55,385
with you jack off to and, like, how

1191
00:42:55,385 --> 00:42:57,055
much a time and god dave. I have

1192
00:42:57,055 --> 00:42:57,692
those fantasy.

1193
00:42:58,248 --> 00:43:00,078
I know what this body looks like though,

1194
00:43:00,237 --> 00:43:02,082
and I know what this person is, and

1195
00:43:02,082 --> 00:43:04,310
that's why I could not could not have

1196
00:43:04,310 --> 00:43:06,140
that. But come on.

1197
00:43:07,891 --> 00:43:08,550
And now

1198
00:43:09,258 --> 00:43:11,344
in the name of being honest?

1199
00:43:11,796 --> 00:43:12,693
Yeah. She's

1200
00:43:13,621 --> 00:43:14,121
traumatized.

1201
00:43:15,366 --> 00:43:17,533
And is quest thing like, if she's even

1202
00:43:17,533 --> 00:43:18,971
allowed to be a little, like

1203
00:43:19,690 --> 00:43:20,010
I know.

1204
00:43:23,766 --> 00:43:26,260
And, you know, whether they're red red flags

1205
00:43:26,260 --> 00:43:28,420
that signal trouble ahead. I honestly don't know.

1206
00:43:28,579 --> 00:43:30,500
Like, yeah. The the part of me that

1207
00:43:30,500 --> 00:43:31,780
wants to give the benefit of the doubt

1208
00:43:31,780 --> 00:43:33,400
is this person thought that

1209
00:43:33,875 --> 00:43:34,614
clear open

1210
00:43:34,994 --> 00:43:36,355
communication met Word Vomit.

1211
00:43:37,394 --> 00:43:40,114
I mean, meant to give no critical thinking

1212
00:43:40,114 --> 00:43:41,715
to what you were gonna tell a person.

1213
00:43:42,515 --> 00:43:44,449
Yeah. That's the part that I want to

1214
00:43:44,449 --> 00:43:45,510
believe because

1215
00:43:45,809 --> 00:43:47,889
when she finally brought up, hey, please. Don't

1216
00:43:47,889 --> 00:43:49,570
talk about my big old boobs like they're

1217
00:43:49,570 --> 00:43:51,744
not there. Mh. He was like, I will

1218
00:43:51,744 --> 00:43:53,103
not talk about your body in a way

1219
00:43:53,103 --> 00:43:55,580
is not actually pure... That's pretty mature. Like

1220
00:43:55,580 --> 00:43:58,238
that's... I I would not expect that from,

1221
00:43:58,537 --> 00:43:59,976
you know, a lot of people to be

1222
00:43:59,976 --> 00:44:01,750
able to go oak. Okay. Yeah. We're not

1223
00:44:01,750 --> 00:44:03,190
commenting on your body in that way. Cool

1224
00:44:03,349 --> 00:44:03,429
Cool.

1225
00:44:05,590 --> 00:44:07,050
But then why couldn't you been,

1226
00:44:07,989 --> 00:44:10,238
like, something enough, pick a word to go,

1227
00:44:10,478 --> 00:44:12,232
you know? Why would I tell a person

1228
00:44:12,232 --> 00:44:14,544
about this when there's nothing and then to

1229
00:44:14,544 --> 00:44:15,341
quantify it.

1230
00:44:16,298 --> 00:44:18,009
Well, 75

1231
00:44:18,306 --> 00:44:20,936
percent of me. What does that even mean?

1232
00:44:22,132 --> 00:44:24,284
What does that even mean? And how does

1233
00:44:24,284 --> 00:44:26,612
somebody get that out of their head? Therapy

1234
00:44:26,612 --> 00:44:28,605
thank God, they have therapist because I would

1235
00:44:28,605 --> 00:44:30,678
not have the right words to to tell

1236
00:44:30,678 --> 00:44:32,512
somebody how to get over that? No. I

1237
00:44:32,512 --> 00:44:34,027
would be crushed. I would be crushed.

1238
00:44:36,827 --> 00:44:38,339
Yeah. That 1 hurt my heart.

1239
00:44:39,771 --> 00:44:41,934
That wanna hurt my heart. Oh, god. Hot.

1240
00:44:45,601 --> 00:44:46,877
Robert I pointed out. I didn't think I

1241
00:44:46,877 --> 00:44:48,073
was gonna rant. Not now I'm hot and

1242
00:44:48,073 --> 00:44:49,907
sweaty off. Mh. Hot and sweaty.

1243
00:44:50,879 --> 00:44:52,795
Okay. Last 1. Alright.

1244
00:44:53,593 --> 00:44:54,551
Advice needed.

1245
00:44:55,509 --> 00:44:57,824
Excuse me. Just needing some advice as I

1246
00:44:57,824 --> 00:44:59,340
think I'm just overthinking this.

1247
00:44:59,994 --> 00:45:01,428
So I've been with my Dom a few

1248
00:45:01,428 --> 00:45:03,181
months now, known each other for, like, 3

1249
00:45:03,181 --> 00:45:06,048
years. 1 of our rules, quote, real life

1250
00:45:06,048 --> 00:45:06,686
comes first.

1251
00:45:07,259 --> 00:45:09,730
And obviously, it does. We have separate spouses

1252
00:45:09,730 --> 00:45:12,440
and children, yes, the spouses no. But now

1253
00:45:12,519 --> 00:45:14,990
I'm overthinking does he think our dynamic is

1254
00:45:14,990 --> 00:45:17,082
not real does he think it's all just

1255
00:45:17,082 --> 00:45:19,160
fantasy. Am I just reading into it a

1256
00:45:19,160 --> 00:45:20,518
bit too much as he has been busy,

1257
00:45:20,598 --> 00:45:22,915
and I miss him. We're exclusive to each

1258
00:45:22,915 --> 00:45:25,481
other not talking slash playing with any other

1259
00:45:25,481 --> 00:45:28,031
sub dom. We've both voiced we have feelings,

1260
00:45:28,190 --> 00:45:30,341
huge respect for each other and care about

1261
00:45:30,341 --> 00:45:32,014
each other a lot, but am I just

1262
00:45:32,014 --> 00:45:32,891
wasting my time.

1263
00:45:33,781 --> 00:45:35,452
Even before we start our dynamic, I knew

1264
00:45:35,452 --> 00:45:37,600
it would happen eventually. It was a case

1265
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:39,907
of write dom wrong time, and it eventually

1266
00:45:39,907 --> 00:45:41,419
was the right time and I am over

1267
00:45:41,419 --> 00:45:41,737
the moon.

1268
00:45:42,627 --> 00:45:44,293
Obviously, I will discuss this with him. Good

1269
00:45:44,293 --> 00:45:45,563
because that's the first thing. Please go on

1270
00:45:45,563 --> 00:45:49,213
a conversation. But this idea that if real

1271
00:45:49,213 --> 00:45:52,764
life has to intervene that somehow dynamic isn't

1272
00:45:52,905 --> 00:45:55,385
real. If that's an insecurity. That's an insecurity

1273
00:45:55,385 --> 00:45:57,304
on their part of True true. Wait. Does

1274
00:45:57,304 --> 00:45:58,585
this mean, I'm not as in... You know,

1275
00:45:58,744 --> 00:45:59,244
my

1276
00:45:59,639 --> 00:46:01,393
making something bigger and more important in my

1277
00:46:01,393 --> 00:46:03,307
head than it is... Like, that's the thing

1278
00:46:03,307 --> 00:46:04,664
they got gotta talk about their partner. But

1279
00:46:04,664 --> 00:46:07,376
this idea that because real life will absolutely

1280
00:46:07,376 --> 00:46:10,603
fucking intervene real life That means that Ds

1281
00:46:10,902 --> 00:46:11,621
is not real.

1282
00:46:12,260 --> 00:46:14,177
And I think it maybe it's pore phrasing,

1283
00:46:15,136 --> 00:46:15,935
vanilla life,

1284
00:46:17,067 --> 00:46:18,982
well, I mean, I don't know. We we

1285
00:46:18,982 --> 00:46:20,976
all know and and most everybody out there

1286
00:46:20,976 --> 00:46:21,215
in

1287
00:46:22,411 --> 00:46:25,442
you know, our our audience. They they understand,

1288
00:46:25,601 --> 00:46:25,921
you know,

1289
00:46:26,734 --> 00:46:29,871
life happens. Right. And and and sometimes,

1290
00:46:30,730 --> 00:46:33,047
you know, yes, you need to to step

1291
00:46:33,047 --> 00:46:34,646
back And does it make it any less

1292
00:46:34,646 --> 00:46:37,530
real absolutely not not my mind. You know,

1293
00:46:37,768 --> 00:46:39,041
it it's still there,

1294
00:46:39,757 --> 00:46:41,745
you know, even though we have... We may

1295
00:46:41,745 --> 00:46:43,972
have to step back sometimes in various reasons

1296
00:46:43,972 --> 00:46:44,783
whether you know,

1297
00:46:45,500 --> 00:46:48,129
illness or or or no family, something going

1298
00:46:48,129 --> 00:46:48,289
on.

1299
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:51,714
I'll come back to the same place? Right.

1300
00:46:51,873 --> 00:46:53,626
Are the feeling still there? Do you still

1301
00:46:53,626 --> 00:46:55,238
want the role is does it still feel

1302
00:46:55,238 --> 00:46:57,476
like who you are and whenever you define

1303
00:46:57,476 --> 00:46:57,716
that.

1304
00:46:58,435 --> 00:47:01,072
If this thing was not interrupting your plans,

1305
00:47:01,232 --> 00:47:02,591
would you be doing the thing you've been

1306
00:47:02,591 --> 00:47:04,523
doing? As long as all of that holds

1307
00:47:04,523 --> 00:47:07,081
true. Mh. It's it's real. It is absolutely

1308
00:47:07,081 --> 00:47:08,039
an insecurity

1309
00:47:08,439 --> 00:47:10,916
their part. Yes. And I I do get

1310
00:47:10,916 --> 00:47:13,008
it. You know, It's hard to be a

1311
00:47:13,008 --> 00:47:13,884
little bit long distance,

1312
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:15,794
not a primary partner I don't know if

1313
00:47:15,794 --> 00:47:17,226
they use that language, but the time you

1314
00:47:17,226 --> 00:47:18,818
and I kind of look at it. You

1315
00:47:18,818 --> 00:47:21,684
know, that that can lead to insecurities and,

1316
00:47:21,764 --> 00:47:22,161
you know,

1317
00:47:22,894 --> 00:47:25,375
right. Is is this 1 side that,

1318
00:47:25,934 --> 00:47:28,014
you know? And, you know, that that's something,

1319
00:47:28,174 --> 00:47:30,335
you know, as 1 side in in in

1320
00:47:30,335 --> 00:47:30,734
that way.

1321
00:47:32,190 --> 00:47:33,787
There's only 1 way she's gonna find out.

1322
00:47:34,027 --> 00:47:35,784
Right. She she's gonna have to ask them.

1323
00:47:36,104 --> 00:47:37,243
You know, And they're

1324
00:47:37,622 --> 00:47:37,862
they're...

1325
00:47:39,553 --> 00:47:42,890
Ever since the the the internet has, you

1326
00:47:42,890 --> 00:47:43,946
know, come

1327
00:47:45,591 --> 00:47:46,068
upon us,

1328
00:47:48,306 --> 00:47:50,552
you know, there there are people

1329
00:47:51,163 --> 00:47:52,512
who are of 2 camps.

1330
00:47:53,464 --> 00:47:53,782
You know?

1331
00:47:55,864 --> 00:47:56,660
Nothing we do,

1332
00:47:57,455 --> 00:47:59,682
not no interaction we have on the Internet

1333
00:47:59,682 --> 00:48:00,160
is real.

1334
00:48:00,796 --> 00:48:01,035
Yep.

1335
00:48:01,608 --> 00:48:01,848
Okay?

1336
00:48:02,486 --> 00:48:04,322
And, you know, then there's the others that

1337
00:48:04,322 --> 00:48:05,998
say, you know, no, you know,

1338
00:48:06,876 --> 00:48:09,052
even though it may not be physical, we're

1339
00:48:09,111 --> 00:48:11,525
emotionally you know, putting ourselves out there. So

1340
00:48:11,525 --> 00:48:12,565
this to me is real.

1341
00:48:14,164 --> 00:48:17,045
Right. It's it's a perspective right section thing.

1342
00:48:17,285 --> 00:48:18,565
Well, that's the other thing. I and I

1343
00:48:18,565 --> 00:48:19,539
think it might have been in the comments

1344
00:48:19,539 --> 00:48:21,215
on this 1 it was something else, and

1345
00:48:21,295 --> 00:48:22,093
I saw somebody,

1346
00:48:22,732 --> 00:48:24,967
try to get into the semantics. Mh. That

1347
00:48:24,967 --> 00:48:28,101
in their view, that all power exchanges just

1348
00:48:28,492 --> 00:48:31,192
role play. Sophisticated a role play, but role

1349
00:48:31,192 --> 00:48:33,994
play. And I can see that argument because

1350
00:48:34,130 --> 00:48:36,694
you and I have absolutely had to go

1351
00:48:37,068 --> 00:48:39,308
at and put a halt on the power

1352
00:48:39,308 --> 00:48:40,978
exchange in order to deal with things in

1353
00:48:40,978 --> 00:48:42,171
life. The thing is though,

1354
00:48:43,761 --> 00:48:45,931
when it's not the most extreme

1355
00:48:46,385 --> 00:48:49,664
situation. Mh. And when things are mostly clicking

1356
00:48:49,664 --> 00:48:50,062
along,

1357
00:48:51,097 --> 00:48:51,496
1,

1358
00:48:52,053 --> 00:48:54,761
we live our life as Dom sub. This

1359
00:48:54,761 --> 00:48:56,687
is not... We do not... It's not a

1360
00:48:56,687 --> 00:48:58,599
hat we put on and take off. Is

1361
00:48:58,599 --> 00:49:01,468
only on the most extreme situations where... And

1362
00:49:01,468 --> 00:49:02,981
for us, it just means you don't get

1363
00:49:02,981 --> 00:49:05,541
to be the... Cider. That doesn't mean you

1364
00:49:05,541 --> 00:49:07,210
stopped being a Daddy dump, and it doesn't

1365
00:49:07,210 --> 00:49:09,991
mean I stop being submissive. Right. For us,

1366
00:49:10,706 --> 00:49:12,789
submission and dominance is part of who are.

1367
00:49:12,948 --> 00:49:15,102
It is baked into who we are. So

1368
00:49:15,261 --> 00:49:16,856
I tend to get really insulted when somebody

1369
00:49:16,856 --> 00:49:18,292
likes to refer to it as role play

1370
00:49:18,292 --> 00:49:19,568
in in all forms. Like, for some people

1371
00:49:19,568 --> 00:49:21,722
it is role play. Some people will feel

1372
00:49:21,722 --> 00:49:23,414
like we do and still call... That's fine.

1373
00:49:23,574 --> 00:49:25,411
But for me, like, it pisses me off

1374
00:49:25,411 --> 00:49:26,210
because I'm like, look,

1375
00:49:26,929 --> 00:49:28,468
he could tell me tomorrow

1376
00:49:28,847 --> 00:49:30,445
that he's not gonna tell me what to

1377
00:49:30,445 --> 00:49:32,215
do and follow with my tasks, but guess

1378
00:49:32,215 --> 00:49:34,149
what. I'm gonna come to him

1379
00:49:34,764 --> 00:49:36,197
every fucking chance I get and go, what

1380
00:49:36,197 --> 00:49:38,905
do you think? I'm gonna do shit for

1381
00:49:38,905 --> 00:49:39,224
you.

1382
00:49:40,353 --> 00:49:42,892
Mean, hopefully with your consent. Mh. Because that's

1383
00:49:42,892 --> 00:49:44,717
part of who I am. I'm going to

1384
00:49:44,717 --> 00:49:47,098
defer to you when I can't. You could

1385
00:49:47,098 --> 00:49:49,179
take the words away. You can call something

1386
00:49:49,179 --> 00:49:51,174
else for all. I'd give a fuck. I'm

1387
00:49:51,174 --> 00:49:53,808
still gonna do those things because that is

1388
00:49:53,808 --> 00:49:55,005
a part of who I am. The problem

1389
00:49:55,085 --> 00:49:56,283
I have before was I was doing it

1390
00:49:56,283 --> 00:49:57,240
for the wrong with the motherfuckers.

1391
00:49:57,814 --> 00:49:59,266
And now I do it for the bright

1392
00:49:59,322 --> 00:50:01,228
motherfucker. I mean, you are literally motherfucker in

1393
00:50:01,228 --> 00:50:02,975
the saying because I'm a mom. Anyway.

1394
00:50:04,563 --> 00:50:07,119
If we wanna play fucking Semantics. Anyway. Yeah.

1395
00:50:07,675 --> 00:50:08,175
So

1396
00:50:09,660 --> 00:50:11,907
when people start telling me about real life

1397
00:50:12,042 --> 00:50:14,202
interfering Yeah. Yes. You and I firmly believe

1398
00:50:14,202 --> 00:50:16,188
that? Oh yeah, most of this podcast is

1399
00:50:16,188 --> 00:50:18,333
based on that. But also,

1400
00:50:19,048 --> 00:50:19,548
if

1401
00:50:20,558 --> 00:50:22,090
you identify with

1402
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:24,630
some point your role in power exchange as

1403
00:50:24,630 --> 00:50:25,985
a core part of who you are, like

1404
00:50:25,985 --> 00:50:28,693
it's part of your identity, that doesn't just

1405
00:50:28,693 --> 00:50:30,388
stop because the actions

1406
00:50:30,844 --> 00:50:35,072
stop. Right. Right? Like, yes, real air quote

1407
00:50:35,072 --> 00:50:37,853
real life. We'll absolutely fuck up all of

1408
00:50:37,853 --> 00:50:39,695
our plans for a scene, all of our

1409
00:50:39,695 --> 00:50:42,238
plants really. Like, deeper power exchange,

1410
00:50:42,874 --> 00:50:45,043
what, we lived a 3 or 4 year,

1411
00:50:46,703 --> 00:50:48,853
stressful life, and it was only because we

1412
00:50:48,853 --> 00:50:51,004
would sometimes go you're at Daddy dumb, and

1413
00:50:51,083 --> 00:50:52,994
I'm your baby girl. Right? Right? We're still

1414
00:50:52,994 --> 00:50:54,826
in this. Right? Like, we never really got

1415
00:50:54,826 --> 00:50:57,070
to feel it as much as we wanted

1416
00:50:57,070 --> 00:50:59,218
to. Didn't mean it wasn't fucking there. It

1417
00:50:59,218 --> 00:51:00,491
didn't mean we didn't want it. It didn't

1418
00:51:00,491 --> 00:51:01,526
mean it wasn't real.

1419
00:51:02,162 --> 00:51:03,848
And that it it was may have been

1420
00:51:03,848 --> 00:51:05,201
tempered a little bit. But, yeah, It was

1421
00:51:05,201 --> 00:51:07,054
still there. Do we get to live it

1422
00:51:07,190 --> 00:51:09,180
to an ex an extreme is a bad

1423
00:51:09,180 --> 00:51:10,706
word with Yeah. The only when come it's

1424
00:51:10,706 --> 00:51:12,934
fullest. To its fullest, the way we'd like

1425
00:51:12,934 --> 00:51:14,706
not right now. No

1426
00:51:15,081 --> 00:51:17,204
right now. Nope. But that doesn't mean we

1427
00:51:17,324 --> 00:51:19,562
haven't before and we won't again in the

1428
00:51:19,562 --> 00:51:22,519
future. And what fullest air quote that means

1429
00:51:22,519 --> 00:51:24,357
will change depending on what's going on in

1430
00:51:24,357 --> 00:51:26,755
life. Yeah. For the fullest for us when

1431
00:51:26,755 --> 00:51:28,043
the boys were younger,

1432
00:51:28,599 --> 00:51:30,429
was not the fullest it will mean when

1433
00:51:30,429 --> 00:51:33,077
these o's are living somewhere else and

1434
00:51:33,452 --> 00:51:35,849
paying their damn ramp. Right? Like that, us

1435
00:51:35,849 --> 00:51:38,865
different points of life that's different experiences. Mh.

1436
00:51:39,342 --> 00:51:41,247
And while I'm not ready for my youngest

1437
00:51:41,247 --> 00:51:42,120
to fully grow up yet.

1438
00:51:43,088 --> 00:51:45,156
I'm looking forward to that time in the

1439
00:51:45,156 --> 00:51:47,804
future feedback. Right? Sure. Because that... Then we

1440
00:51:47,860 --> 00:51:50,343
redefine what power change looks like for us.

1441
00:51:50,662 --> 00:51:53,056
We... At that point, we totally redefine our

1442
00:51:53,056 --> 00:51:54,890
lives to whatever. God. I can't even imagine.

1443
00:51:55,210 --> 00:51:55,369
Right?

1444
00:51:56,087 --> 00:51:58,356
I'm not ready for that crazy today.

1445
00:51:59,527 --> 00:52:01,222
Not ready for it. So,

1446
00:52:02,155 --> 00:52:04,385
yes. Ultimately, I think this person's issue is

1447
00:52:04,385 --> 00:52:05,442
an insecurity

1448
00:52:05,911 --> 00:52:08,527
something's been going on, maybe... Mh. Maybe there's

1449
00:52:08,527 --> 00:52:11,089
been a lack of communication somewhere, maybe the

1450
00:52:11,779 --> 00:52:13,420
expectations time of been managed when there is

1451
00:52:13,619 --> 00:52:15,851
maybe some radio silence because real life interfered.

1452
00:52:16,170 --> 00:52:19,279
Sure. But I think that worrying about is

1453
00:52:19,279 --> 00:52:20,873
this, you know, when you have to pause

1454
00:52:20,873 --> 00:52:22,244
for a life, does that mean that what

1455
00:52:22,244 --> 00:52:23,862
we have this somehow not real

1456
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:26,236
is a little bit of a stereotype from

1457
00:52:26,236 --> 00:52:27,055
people who

1458
00:52:27,593 --> 00:52:30,387
dismiss all power changes only and always role

1459
00:52:30,387 --> 00:52:30,547
play.

1460
00:52:32,079 --> 00:52:34,557
Yeah, for some people it is Mh. In

1461
00:52:34,557 --> 00:52:35,276
some context,

1462
00:52:35,835 --> 00:52:37,833
semantic, I can make... I can see the

1463
00:52:37,833 --> 00:52:38,313
argument.

1464
00:52:38,792 --> 00:52:40,310
But when somebody is telling you that this

1465
00:52:40,310 --> 00:52:41,524
is their life they're living.

1466
00:52:42,802 --> 00:52:45,040
You the, you know, anonymous you from the

1467
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:46,159
outside, don't get to come in and go.

1468
00:52:46,399 --> 00:52:48,637
Just fucking role play. Anyway. Fuck you. I'm

1469
00:52:48,637 --> 00:52:50,096
motherfucker. Like, just

1470
00:52:50,795 --> 00:52:50,929
and.

1471
00:52:52,246 --> 00:52:52,645
Yeah.

1472
00:52:53,204 --> 00:52:55,359
Yeah what even his real. It's all a

1473
00:52:55,359 --> 00:52:56,875
goddamn simulation. Okay?

1474
00:52:59,523 --> 00:53:01,598
Timeline started getting a little bit better in

1475
00:53:01,598 --> 00:53:03,114
the past few days, but still I could

1476
00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:04,093
use a different

1477
00:53:04,550 --> 00:53:05,450
dimension and timeline.

1478
00:53:06,146 --> 00:53:06,865
And come on.

1479
00:53:07,516 --> 00:53:09,922
And what even is real? Just

1480
00:53:10,535 --> 00:53:10,932
I don't know.

1481
00:53:11,647 --> 00:53:11,885
Anyway.

1482
00:53:12,838 --> 00:53:15,142
I'm glad that they ended on line. Obviously,

1483
00:53:15,222 --> 00:53:17,301
it will discuss this. Yes. Yep. But yeah.

1484
00:53:17,460 --> 00:53:19,127
Because it definitely needs to be. And, yes,

1485
00:53:19,365 --> 00:53:21,588
let us all be realistic that whatever... However,

1486
00:53:21,667 --> 00:53:24,549
we're gonna define real life as in

1487
00:53:24,859 --> 00:53:26,619
the life that is separate and apart from

1488
00:53:26,619 --> 00:53:28,880
our power exchange, and our power exchange cannot

1489
00:53:29,179 --> 00:53:32,299
function within that thing happening. Like, for us,

1490
00:53:32,953 --> 00:53:35,018
it's things with the kids. If there's some

1491
00:53:35,018 --> 00:53:37,344
emergency with a child, who

1492
00:53:37,717 --> 00:53:38,456
I'm not

1493
00:53:39,544 --> 00:53:42,497
deferring to Jb on hardly anything. Like, I

1494
00:53:42,497 --> 00:53:45,861
would... Like, my natural tendency is, but as

1495
00:53:46,236 --> 00:53:46,736
their

1496
00:53:47,270 --> 00:53:49,155
mother who is only human being that can

1497
00:53:49,195 --> 00:53:51,831
legally sign anything and has full rights to,

1498
00:53:51,911 --> 00:53:52,950
like, whatever whatever...

1499
00:53:54,309 --> 00:53:55,827
That's limited now that the oldest is the

1500
00:53:55,827 --> 00:53:57,744
oldest, you know, An adult, but whatever. Like,

1501
00:53:57,999 --> 00:54:00,335
No. There's no there's no different deferring. There's

1502
00:54:00,713 --> 00:54:03,188
there's working together. There's there's a word for

1503
00:54:03,188 --> 00:54:04,705
the again Know what it is.

1504
00:54:05,423 --> 00:54:07,911
But we're gonna work together. Right. On an

1505
00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:10,456
equal footing now. Does that mean there's an

1506
00:54:10,456 --> 00:54:11,967
emergency of the kid. We are on equal

1507
00:54:11,967 --> 00:54:13,479
footing. Right? That's the real life.

1508
00:54:14,449 --> 00:54:16,119
We walk out of that emergency for a

1509
00:54:16,119 --> 00:54:18,267
5 minute breather. He now not my daddy,

1510
00:54:18,427 --> 00:54:19,620
and I'm not leaning on him and go

1511
00:54:19,620 --> 00:54:21,052
oh my god. Oh my god. Right.

1512
00:54:22,022 --> 00:54:22,738
Hell, yeah.

1513
00:54:23,613 --> 00:54:23,852
Yeah.

1514
00:54:25,204 --> 00:54:27,353
So I... It's all very Nuanced and it's

1515
00:54:27,353 --> 00:54:29,916
not. Just this... I think for some of

1516
00:54:29,916 --> 00:54:32,306
us, many of us? I don't know. We

1517
00:54:32,306 --> 00:54:33,900
don't just shut it off like a valve.

1518
00:54:34,059 --> 00:54:35,414
Like, it's not just a spin and a

1519
00:54:35,414 --> 00:54:37,724
water of turned off. It's say, okay. It's

1520
00:54:37,724 --> 00:54:39,413
only a little trickle right now. The only

1521
00:54:39,413 --> 00:54:41,250
reason that I... Would call myself power just

1522
00:54:41,250 --> 00:54:42,367
because I know who Am. I know who

1523
00:54:42,367 --> 00:54:43,565
you are. I know who we are together.

1524
00:54:44,044 --> 00:54:45,401
But in this specific moment,

1525
00:54:46,838 --> 00:54:48,115
you're not in charge. I'm not in charge.

1526
00:54:48,275 --> 00:54:49,483
We'd we doing this again.

1527
00:54:50,755 --> 00:54:51,788
So anyway.

1528
00:54:52,503 --> 00:54:52,742
I don't...

1529
00:54:53,695 --> 00:54:55,285
I'm sure that's being read as a rant.

1530
00:54:55,523 --> 00:54:56,103
I don't

1531
00:54:56,412 --> 00:54:57,127
feel rant,

1532
00:54:57,683 --> 00:54:59,033
but my blood pressure did go up and

1533
00:54:59,112 --> 00:55:00,644
I'm hot and sweaty now. So

1534
00:55:01,653 --> 00:55:02,606
so I guess it counts.

1535
00:55:03,242 --> 00:55:03,956
No. It counts.

1536
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:08,900
Okay. So... Excuse me. You have the hang

1537
00:55:09,058 --> 00:55:09,536
over there.

1538
00:55:10,728 --> 00:55:11,920
That was the last 1.

1539
00:55:12,556 --> 00:55:14,343
From Reddit so we can can do

1540
00:55:14,796 --> 00:55:16,145
a Bonus section.

1541
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:16,939
Okay.

1542
00:55:17,654 --> 00:55:17,972
So

1543
00:55:18,765 --> 00:55:20,432
are we good? I don't know. That's not

1544
00:55:20,432 --> 00:55:20,988
for me to say.

1545
00:55:22,909 --> 00:55:25,137
Cute kinky all. And we'll see you y'all

1546
00:55:25,137 --> 00:55:25,773
in a couple of weeks.

1547
00:55:37,015 --> 00:55:39,246
Yes. Baby girl. Can we talk to the

1548
00:55:39,246 --> 00:55:40,043
crooked? Yes.

1549
00:55:41,476 --> 00:55:42,844
Did I free say y'all at the end

1550
00:55:42,844 --> 00:55:44,514
of my own fucking tagline. Yes, I did.

1551
00:55:45,309 --> 00:55:47,615
Yes. I did. Yes. I did. What wasn't

1552
00:55:47,615 --> 00:55:48,887
is there something else? I don't think it

1553
00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:50,636
was what we recording earlier I forgot... Oh,

1554
00:55:50,795 --> 00:55:51,034
no.

1555
00:55:51,844 --> 00:55:54,317
Podcast listeners who are listening this sometime Fridays.

1556
00:55:54,556 --> 00:55:56,231
Saturday already wanna re listen, you will have

1557
00:55:56,231 --> 00:55:56,470
heard.

1558
00:55:57,108 --> 00:55:59,340
I was doing the podcast intro day, and

1559
00:55:59,340 --> 00:56:01,095
not to the part of the handle I

1560
00:56:01,095 --> 00:56:03,664
fuck fucking hate and almost gloss right the

1561
00:56:03,664 --> 00:56:05,580
fuck over it. When was I reminded that

1562
00:56:05,580 --> 00:56:07,017
that's the handle life fucking hate, the moment

1563
00:56:07,177 --> 00:56:08,134
I had to try and say the damn

1564
00:56:08,134 --> 00:56:08,454
handle.

1565
00:56:09,811 --> 00:56:12,882
So and just happening. It's just happening. It's

1566
00:56:12,942 --> 00:56:14,800
all off the rails. Yeah.

1567
00:56:17,497 --> 00:56:17,817
Yeah.

1568
00:56:21,022 --> 00:56:21,816
Even though we're

1569
00:56:22,372 --> 00:56:23,881
working sort of double time to be able

1570
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:25,945
to take next week off in genuinely take

1571
00:56:25,945 --> 00:56:27,613
it off, which that was the mistake we

1572
00:56:27,613 --> 00:56:29,042
made in June. Deal.

1573
00:56:29,614 --> 00:56:31,608
Genuinely taking that 1. No. We didn't.

1574
00:56:34,798 --> 00:56:36,574
I'm not like, overly

1575
00:56:37,032 --> 00:56:38,489
stressed. I'm not

1576
00:56:39,996 --> 00:56:41,189
you know, I'm just like,

1577
00:56:42,144 --> 00:56:44,371
yeah. It's extra work, but I'm kinda looking

1578
00:56:44,371 --> 00:56:46,414
forward to it. You know, I'm looking forward

1579
00:56:46,614 --> 00:56:49,110
to... The weekend we're better at this than

1580
00:56:49,328 --> 00:56:51,404
Monday through Friday, I'm looking forward to whatever

1581
00:56:51,404 --> 00:56:52,681
day where I feel like I would normally

1582
00:56:52,681 --> 00:56:55,076
work waking up and going, I technically don't

1583
00:56:55,076 --> 00:56:56,867
have to do a goddamn damn thing

1584
00:56:57,324 --> 00:56:59,875
hey. I'm just gonna go rot on the

1585
00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:00,832
couch. You know,

1586
00:57:01,549 --> 00:57:02,288
I'm gonna

1587
00:57:02,745 --> 00:57:04,593
read some books. So let's maybe watch some

1588
00:57:04,593 --> 00:57:06,661
out outlandish let's... I don't know. I don't

1589
00:57:06,661 --> 00:57:09,682
know. Drink coffee all day long. Mh. And

1590
00:57:09,682 --> 00:57:11,216
then stare at the ceiling

1591
00:57:11,591 --> 00:57:14,704
wired at been. It'll be fine. Right. Right.

1592
00:57:15,259 --> 00:57:15,759
So

1593
00:57:17,561 --> 00:57:17,878
I just...

1594
00:57:18,672 --> 00:57:21,585
Now I could... I I can... I'm better

1595
00:57:21,943 --> 00:57:23,773
detecting when Burnout was trying to creep in,

1596
00:57:24,569 --> 00:57:27,456
and I am much more protective of my

1597
00:57:27,514 --> 00:57:29,503
own mental health that there are things life.

1598
00:57:29,662 --> 00:57:32,388
I not only just don't wanna burn out.

1599
00:57:32,547 --> 00:57:34,385
I we can't afford it. I know. I

1600
00:57:34,385 --> 00:57:36,543
know we can't. I know. That's what happens

1601
00:57:36,543 --> 00:57:38,641
when you make your passion, your livelihood

1602
00:57:39,020 --> 00:57:39,394
and

1603
00:57:39,911 --> 00:57:40,967
most of your livelihood

1604
00:57:41,579 --> 00:57:44,599
around a couple of things that you have

1605
00:57:44,599 --> 00:57:46,291
to do or they don't exist

1606
00:57:47,141 --> 00:57:49,701
the downside side. So we're constantly trying to

1607
00:57:49,701 --> 00:57:51,291
strike the balance. And, yeah, if we had

1608
00:57:51,291 --> 00:57:53,201
really taken that full week off, like we

1609
00:57:53,201 --> 00:57:53,916
were supposed to.

1610
00:57:55,364 --> 00:57:56,398
I think we'd would be fine. I think

1611
00:57:56,477 --> 00:57:57,989
Yeah. We we wouldn't... It wouldn't have been

1612
00:57:57,989 --> 00:57:59,046
a big deal, but

1613
00:57:59,739 --> 00:58:00,933
we did not. Nope.

1614
00:58:02,206 --> 00:58:03,479
And here we are. Yep.

1615
00:58:04,528 --> 00:58:08,037
But know. You. Like, we've... We're talking the

1616
00:58:08,037 --> 00:58:09,472
other day, and I said,

1617
00:58:11,386 --> 00:58:14,211
said, I looked at Jb went. I know

1618
00:58:14,665 --> 00:58:17,072
that a shout out. You are we are

1619
00:58:17,128 --> 00:58:18,876
disconnected right now. In a way, I hate.

1620
00:58:19,036 --> 00:58:21,195
Mh. I said, and I know in a

1621
00:58:21,195 --> 00:58:22,385
lot of ways and for a lot of

1622
00:58:22,385 --> 00:58:25,083
reasons, I said, but I also know that

1623
00:58:25,083 --> 00:58:27,567
neither of us has the bandwidth right now

1624
00:58:28,114 --> 00:58:30,110
to figure out what the fuck is going

1625
00:58:30,110 --> 00:58:31,626
on between us. And, really, I don't think

1626
00:58:31,626 --> 00:58:33,621
it's anything between us. I think it's the

1627
00:58:33,621 --> 00:58:35,478
creeping burnout where we're just

1628
00:58:36,829 --> 00:58:38,505
You know, there's nothing new going on. There's

1629
00:58:38,505 --> 00:58:39,782
nothing drastic. It's just...

1630
00:58:41,538 --> 00:58:43,374
But we also talked about that this feels

1631
00:58:43,374 --> 00:58:44,752
like this and I am

1632
00:58:45,703 --> 00:58:46,283
got a

1633
00:58:46,897 --> 00:58:48,113
awful memory. So

1634
00:58:48,488 --> 00:58:50,477
this could be inaccurate, but it feels like

1635
00:58:50,477 --> 00:58:51,773
we go through something

1636
00:58:53,262 --> 00:58:54,376
funky every summer.

1637
00:58:55,027 --> 00:58:56,697
Is it the heat? I don't know.

1638
00:58:57,652 --> 00:58:58,925
I don't know. I don't know.

1639
00:59:00,436 --> 00:59:00,936
But

1640
00:59:03,152 --> 00:59:04,739
Ta, That's a that's a pretty cool idea.

1641
00:59:05,215 --> 00:59:06,644
Did you said just a thought, Podcast has

1642
00:59:06,644 --> 00:59:08,890
3 weeks a month, and post a previous

1643
00:59:08,945 --> 00:59:10,627
classic on the fourth week rubric break.

1644
00:59:11,420 --> 00:59:13,721
Maybe I I have been meaning to figure

1645
00:59:13,721 --> 00:59:15,729
out how I could post old

1646
00:59:16,181 --> 00:59:16,498
Mh.

1647
00:59:17,213 --> 00:59:17,371
Episodes.

1648
00:59:18,183 --> 00:59:20,098
In a in a seamless easy to do

1649
00:59:20,098 --> 00:59:21,534
way, not in a way that I've gotta

1650
00:59:21,534 --> 00:59:23,689
go, like, we'll do something difficult.

1651
00:59:25,856 --> 00:59:26,333
I don't know.

1652
00:59:28,633 --> 00:59:30,085
We can think about it. We have.

1653
00:59:30,457 --> 00:59:30,957
We

1654
00:59:31,806 --> 00:59:32,574
we've got... We've been

1655
00:59:33,409 --> 00:59:34,920
floating a lot of fun. We've we've got

1656
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:36,374
a few things We've been n

1657
00:59:36,908 --> 00:59:38,418
right now and and, you know,

1658
00:59:39,213 --> 00:59:41,440
these are things looking forward going into next

1659
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,840
year, but still Yeah. Because once we get

1660
00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:44,340
through

1661
00:59:45,273 --> 00:59:47,739
July, which is almost over. Yeah. And then

1662
00:59:47,739 --> 00:59:50,617
really to about mid August, we sort of

1663
00:59:50,617 --> 00:59:52,686
start our speed to the end of the

1664
00:59:52,686 --> 00:59:55,153
year, and we... For as busy as we

1665
00:59:55,153 --> 00:59:56,926
get, we are joyous. I think

1666
00:59:57,381 --> 00:59:57,779
yeah.

1667
00:59:58,336 --> 01:00:01,067
We're exhausted, but we're, like, pumped at the

1668
01:00:01,067 --> 01:00:01,466
end of the year.

1669
01:00:03,224 --> 01:00:04,982
So we just... We gotta get through this.

1670
01:00:05,621 --> 01:00:06,680
I don't know. Isn't

1671
01:00:06,994 --> 01:00:10,112
the weather. Like, I know I'm burning up

1672
01:00:10,326 --> 01:00:10,826
hot

1673
01:00:11,278 --> 01:00:14,628
here tonight. Even even tonight after was sun's

1674
01:00:14,628 --> 01:00:15,744
down. Yeah. I know.

1675
01:00:16,780 --> 01:00:18,374
So I know. But...

1676
01:00:19,410 --> 01:00:20,286
So updates,

1677
01:00:20,845 --> 01:00:22,931
Lola went to the vet this... Week. Yes.

1678
01:00:23,170 --> 01:00:25,478
Scott... We had this... We... She was so

1679
01:00:25,478 --> 01:00:28,264
far behind. That visits we've split up all

1680
01:00:28,264 --> 01:00:28,901
of her care.

1681
01:00:30,429 --> 01:00:32,742
Mostly to to not overwhelm us

1682
01:00:33,300 --> 01:00:34,895
financially, but not to overwhelm her either.

1683
01:00:35,613 --> 01:00:36,113
So

1684
01:00:37,128 --> 01:00:38,723
this was sort of a follow up, get

1685
01:00:38,723 --> 01:00:39,601
a couple of

1686
01:00:40,813 --> 01:00:42,731
shots she needed, and then to check and

1687
01:00:42,731 --> 01:00:44,249
see all she'd been doing from the previous

1688
01:00:44,249 --> 01:00:44,568
visit,

1689
01:00:45,287 --> 01:00:46,885
she lost a whole pan. Yep.

1690
01:00:47,855 --> 01:00:50,021
She hated being at that fucking Vets.

1691
01:00:50,712 --> 01:00:52,934
Oh, my god. We asked them to clip

1692
01:00:52,934 --> 01:00:55,021
her nails for us while we were there

1693
01:00:55,155 --> 01:00:57,642
instead of, like, go into the... The groom

1694
01:00:57,642 --> 01:00:59,000
down the street from us of her 5

1695
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:00,518
bucks, but man, we got wrangler her into

1696
01:01:00,518 --> 01:01:01,956
the car Yeah she hates going in because

1697
01:01:01,956 --> 01:01:03,888
she smells the water and but she remembers

1698
01:01:03,888 --> 01:01:05,566
the the bad mean place where they put

1699
01:01:05,566 --> 01:01:07,264
soap on and we're like.

1700
01:01:07,643 --> 01:01:10,014
The vet so let's just have it done

1701
01:01:10,134 --> 01:01:11,729
here and be down with it. I I

1702
01:01:11,729 --> 01:01:13,642
think she was too wasn't up. She she's

1703
01:01:13,642 --> 01:01:16,194
pissed. As as it was, and, yeah, she

1704
01:01:16,194 --> 01:01:18,347
just wasn't having it. Too was pissed. I

1705
01:01:18,347 --> 01:01:20,599
mean, she showed her to... She did not

1706
01:01:20,599 --> 01:01:22,039
g. She not bark she not lunch, but

1707
01:01:22,039 --> 01:01:23,179
she More of a

1708
01:01:23,640 --> 01:01:25,320
more of a grim that Yeah. But it's

1709
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:28,039
her teeth. There's she kinda doesn't... The the

1710
01:01:28,039 --> 01:01:29,884
tech was trying to clip her nails. Yeah.

1711
01:01:30,122 --> 01:01:32,108
We got 75 percent of the nails clipped.

1712
01:01:32,425 --> 01:01:32,664
Right.

1713
01:01:33,617 --> 01:01:34,729
She did this thing. She

1714
01:01:35,285 --> 01:01:37,112
she too is a girl who believes in

1715
01:01:37,112 --> 01:01:39,778
clear communication. We're sitting in the little

1716
01:01:40,876 --> 01:01:42,793
exam room. Right? Waiting. And we have her

1717
01:01:42,793 --> 01:01:44,231
on the leash where we do not take

1718
01:01:44,231 --> 01:01:45,244
her off the leash because

1719
01:01:45,844 --> 01:01:46,723
who knows what happened.

1720
01:01:47,921 --> 01:01:50,398
She walks primarily from Jb, but sometimes for

1721
01:01:50,398 --> 01:01:51,857
me, but she would go from Jb

1722
01:01:52,235 --> 01:01:53,846
to the door that we came in from

1723
01:01:53,846 --> 01:01:56,234
the door She knows is exit. But her

1724
01:01:56,234 --> 01:01:58,623
nose to the door, stand there. Look at

1725
01:01:58,623 --> 01:02:00,614
us. Go back. Look at us. Go back.

1726
01:02:00,932 --> 01:02:03,175
Go walk back to Jimmy. Look at him?

1727
01:02:03,414 --> 01:02:05,641
With big eyes. Yeah. Go... I mean, as

1728
01:02:05,641 --> 01:02:08,266
she paced. Back of forth. Like, do you

1729
01:02:08,266 --> 01:02:10,432
see... When I'm trying to explain to you

1730
01:02:10,432 --> 01:02:12,346
people. Right? That's the door and we need

1731
01:02:12,346 --> 01:02:12,925
to go

1732
01:02:13,860 --> 01:02:14,578
it was an hour.

1733
01:02:16,013 --> 01:02:18,585
To yeah. It it was a long visit,

1734
01:02:18,744 --> 01:02:21,545
but... She got... So normally, what we do

1735
01:02:21,545 --> 01:02:21,704
for...

1736
01:02:22,424 --> 01:02:23,944
Yes. We're trying to help her lose weight

1737
01:02:23,944 --> 01:02:25,625
and also, yes, we give her treats. What

1738
01:02:25,625 --> 01:02:25,864
of it?

1739
01:02:26,835 --> 01:02:28,108
I believe in bribery. That's how we get

1740
01:02:28,108 --> 01:02:28,823
shit done around here.

1741
01:02:29,936 --> 01:02:31,527
Normally, it's like we go through Dunkin and

1742
01:02:31,527 --> 01:02:33,197
we get her some, like, little munch or

1743
01:02:33,197 --> 01:02:35,121
we go through with ben minute, it will

1744
01:02:35,121 --> 01:02:36,236
go to Starbucks and get a pop cup.

1745
01:02:36,396 --> 01:02:38,148
And I went, let's do something different this

1746
01:02:38,148 --> 01:02:40,139
not, like a gigantic cup full of whipped

1747
01:02:40,139 --> 01:02:42,766
cream. It's like, let's get her hamburger patties.

1748
01:02:44,134 --> 01:02:46,441
She forgave us everything. Oh after those amber

1749
01:02:46,441 --> 01:02:46,521
repair.

1750
01:02:47,794 --> 01:02:49,306
We owe. Yep. Yeah.

1751
01:02:50,101 --> 01:02:50,394
She

1752
01:02:51,233 --> 01:02:53,787
she might be more inclined than cor.

1753
01:02:54,346 --> 01:02:55,565
Keep giving her amber.

1754
01:02:57,699 --> 01:02:58,817
Oh, god.

1755
01:02:59,869 --> 01:03:01,389
But, you know, you were pretty convinced she

1756
01:03:01,389 --> 01:03:03,630
was gonna ignore you after that, and she

1757
01:03:03,630 --> 01:03:05,789
really didn't. No. She didn't. And,

1758
01:03:06,429 --> 01:03:08,690
I I really expected that after

1759
01:03:10,284 --> 01:03:12,041
you know, all the stress of the day,

1760
01:03:13,480 --> 01:03:15,317
yesterday between being at the bet the way

1761
01:03:15,317 --> 01:03:17,315
she was so wound up, You know, she

1762
01:03:17,315 --> 01:03:17,769
did get

1763
01:03:18,845 --> 01:03:20,120
a shot. Yeah.

1764
01:03:20,996 --> 01:03:21,952
It didn't seem to affect her of the.

1765
01:03:22,191 --> 01:03:23,705
No. It didn't. And, you know, they did

1766
01:03:23,705 --> 01:03:25,697
tell tell us that, you know, she may

1767
01:03:25,697 --> 01:03:26,515
be a little

1768
01:03:27,544 --> 01:03:29,401
you know, low keyed, low energy

1769
01:03:29,939 --> 01:03:30,817
after the shot,

1770
01:03:31,615 --> 01:03:33,452
and I was kinda thinking, oh, well, I,

1771
01:03:33,611 --> 01:03:34,808
you know, it might give me a break

1772
01:03:34,808 --> 01:03:37,056
from having to walker her tonight. Oh, no.

1773
01:03:37,295 --> 01:03:39,678
She wanted her walk last night. You keep

1774
01:03:39,678 --> 01:03:41,427
trying to get breaks from walking, whether that's

1775
01:03:41,427 --> 01:03:43,572
with me or with your dog, and neither

1776
01:03:43,572 --> 01:03:45,816
of us happening. No. Now. We're not letting

1777
01:03:45,816 --> 01:03:47,488
you get away with that. Not none all

1778
01:03:47,488 --> 01:03:47,648
were

1779
01:03:48,444 --> 01:03:50,753
mh. Cutting me some stuff Look, Blow says

1780
01:03:50,753 --> 01:03:52,425
her evening walks are good for her mental

1781
01:03:52,425 --> 01:03:54,117
health. And I'm over here, like, the morning

1782
01:03:54,117 --> 01:03:55,875
walks are good for mine. Let's not fuck

1783
01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:56,194
this up.

1784
01:03:57,792 --> 01:03:58,032
Oh,

1785
01:04:01,075 --> 01:04:03,617
she loves bananas. Yeah. Dan funny. Bananas are

1786
01:04:03,617 --> 01:04:04,808
great for Mh treat.

1787
01:04:05,444 --> 01:04:06,897
You know, she can be

1788
01:04:07,271 --> 01:04:09,438
somewhere in house. She will hear a banana

1789
01:04:09,438 --> 01:04:11,355
being peeled a mile away and come running.

1790
01:04:11,595 --> 01:04:13,134
What I really need to do

1791
01:04:14,152 --> 01:04:15,451
is get some watermelon

1792
01:04:16,242 --> 01:04:19,292
because yeah I'll do some sketchy shift. Over.

1793
01:04:19,907 --> 01:04:22,218
Yes. You will. And the thing... So here's

1794
01:04:22,218 --> 01:04:23,849
the thing. I am clearly

1795
01:04:24,469 --> 01:04:24,710
old,

1796
01:04:25,590 --> 01:04:26,090
and

1797
01:04:28,150 --> 01:04:30,309
have bought too many, like,

1798
01:04:31,364 --> 01:04:33,920
locally grown watermelon in my lifetime. Every time

1799
01:04:34,001 --> 01:04:36,398
I at the price of watermelon even now

1800
01:04:36,398 --> 01:04:38,076
in season. I'm like, that's more than I

1801
01:04:38,076 --> 01:04:39,765
used to pay. I'm not and the price

1802
01:04:39,765 --> 01:04:40,481
for watermelon.

1803
01:04:40,958 --> 01:04:42,231
I'm gonna have to get the fuck over

1804
01:04:42,231 --> 01:04:44,380
and if I want watermelon again, but I

1805
01:04:44,380 --> 01:04:46,184
just I haven't been able to make myself

1806
01:04:46,304 --> 01:04:46,623
Hang. Know.

1807
01:04:47,820 --> 01:04:49,096
But, no. We've we've

1808
01:04:49,574 --> 01:04:51,191
but I really should because she really.

1809
01:04:51,807 --> 01:04:54,062
We've... We... We've gotten really

1810
01:04:55,635 --> 01:04:57,423
strict with her food

1811
01:04:57,878 --> 01:05:00,105
and her treats. I mean, yes, she got

1812
01:05:00,105 --> 01:05:02,514
2 burger patties yesterday, but her

1813
01:05:02,889 --> 01:05:03,786
dinner was

1814
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:07,146
different to compensate. The adjusted to compensate

1815
01:05:07,841 --> 01:05:08,239
for that,

1816
01:05:08,956 --> 01:05:10,971
you know, her treats right now

1817
01:05:11,347 --> 01:05:11,847
are

1818
01:05:12,702 --> 01:05:13,817
carrots, apples.

1819
01:05:14,788 --> 01:05:15,186
Bananas.

1820
01:05:15,984 --> 01:05:18,056
Yeah. The only thing she gets us considered

1821
01:05:18,056 --> 01:05:18,773
treat like.

1822
01:05:19,730 --> 01:05:21,164
She's taking a bunch of pills right now.

1823
01:05:21,324 --> 01:05:23,173
So those go in pill? Mh.

1824
01:05:23,891 --> 01:05:25,727
Because we could not afford the amount of

1825
01:05:25,727 --> 01:05:28,042
bread slash cheese. We have to divide be

1826
01:05:28,042 --> 01:05:29,797
able to give her damn pill.

1827
01:05:31,728 --> 01:05:34,757
But that... Like, her antibiotic that she had

1828
01:05:34,757 --> 01:05:36,353
an infection we didn't know about. They did

1829
01:05:36,353 --> 01:05:38,186
her blood work last Month. They're like, oh,

1830
01:05:38,346 --> 01:05:39,882
she has an infection here this

1831
01:05:40,260 --> 01:05:42,827
his this antibiotic that's a hundred dollars. I

1832
01:05:42,827 --> 01:05:45,321
was like fuck. Yeah. I've been very spoiled

1833
01:05:45,380 --> 01:05:46,735
antibiotics. I usually have to take for, like

1834
01:05:46,735 --> 01:05:48,730
6. I don't. You.

1835
01:05:49,367 --> 01:05:51,854
But it was 28 days and it was

1836
01:05:51,854 --> 01:05:53,767
3 and a half pills at a time.

1837
01:05:54,165 --> 01:05:56,578
Think holy me shit. So it was like

1838
01:05:56,636 --> 01:05:58,962
so once we get to stop doing that,

1839
01:05:59,598 --> 01:06:02,462
then we're back to, like, a lot fewer

1840
01:06:02,462 --> 01:06:04,451
on the pill potty. Yeah think. Yeah. But,

1841
01:06:04,610 --> 01:06:05,985
yeah. She's... She

1842
01:06:06,439 --> 01:06:08,925
has forgiven us the vet appointment. She's got

1843
01:06:08,925 --> 01:06:09,824
a lot of her

1844
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:12,515
energy back just in general. Oh, yeah.

1845
01:06:13,472 --> 01:06:15,081
There are definitely pre,

1846
01:06:16,434 --> 01:06:18,502
recording and streaming Zoom is going on around

1847
01:06:18,502 --> 01:06:20,252
here again. Yeah. She's

1848
01:06:20,967 --> 01:06:23,134
She's she's playing, you know, if she's back

1849
01:06:23,134 --> 01:06:24,887
to doing the whole tug war thing again.

1850
01:06:25,206 --> 01:06:26,423
Mh. Mh.

1851
01:06:27,278 --> 01:06:27,778
So

1852
01:06:28,394 --> 01:06:31,204
the cats are still as, yeah. Have always

1853
01:06:31,204 --> 01:06:32,005
been. Oh, yeah.

1854
01:06:33,045 --> 01:06:36,085
We've got a an outdoor not technically a

1855
01:06:36,085 --> 01:06:38,835
stray, but definitely an outdoor cat who

1856
01:06:39,688 --> 01:06:42,552
can decide if they like us or not.

1857
01:06:45,272 --> 01:06:46,569
It's 1 we've seen around

1858
01:06:46,946 --> 01:06:47,743
for a while,

1859
01:06:48,381 --> 01:06:50,373
when we left this morning to take our

1860
01:06:50,373 --> 01:06:50,692
walk.

1861
01:06:51,649 --> 01:06:53,337
And we have this little we have this

1862
01:06:53,337 --> 01:06:55,329
little table, like a card table kind thing,

1863
01:06:55,409 --> 01:06:57,423
set up outside our front door

1864
01:06:58,039 --> 01:06:59,633
because of the amount of packages I leave

1865
01:06:59,633 --> 01:07:00,565
out for our

1866
01:07:01,482 --> 01:07:04,034
male carrier pick up from us, which is

1867
01:07:04,034 --> 01:07:05,310
a wonderful problem to have, but I was

1868
01:07:05,310 --> 01:07:06,666
like, I... They were constantly haven't would've have

1869
01:07:06,666 --> 01:07:07,703
been down. I was like, let's just do

1870
01:07:07,703 --> 01:07:09,777
this whole table here. Well, when there's no

1871
01:07:09,777 --> 01:07:12,263
boxes there herbs, you know, shipments be picked

1872
01:07:12,263 --> 01:07:14,256
up. There's this cat that's just sitting there.

1873
01:07:14,574 --> 01:07:17,045
Yep. Now this morning, they were sitting there,

1874
01:07:17,284 --> 01:07:19,448
I think because the difference Sprinkler systems are

1875
01:07:19,448 --> 01:07:20,876
going. Wrong. I'm trying stay dry.

1876
01:07:21,749 --> 01:07:24,526
And for once, this cat wanted was okay

1877
01:07:24,526 --> 01:07:27,166
with me betting it. And really didn't have

1878
01:07:27,166 --> 01:07:28,920
any use for Jb. 1 like to do

1879
01:07:28,920 --> 01:07:29,239
with me.

1880
01:07:30,675 --> 01:07:32,588
Okay. This is what it it feels like

1881
01:07:32,588 --> 01:07:35,061
to be special to a cat. Okay.

1882
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:37,148
Okay.

1883
01:07:38,503 --> 01:07:40,416
So Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, yeah.

1884
01:07:41,213 --> 01:07:41,690
No. These...

1885
01:07:42,487 --> 01:07:42,987
They're

1886
01:07:43,378 --> 01:07:46,152
you know, K asked another another chat. No.

1887
01:07:46,469 --> 01:07:46,707
No.

1888
01:07:47,975 --> 01:07:50,536
These these cats are actually... They belong

1889
01:07:50,845 --> 01:07:53,405
to the people next door, they're well taken

1890
01:07:53,405 --> 01:07:55,724
care of, but they're outdoor cab. But they're

1891
01:07:55,724 --> 01:07:58,125
they're they're... I think they're actually indoor outdoor.

1892
01:07:58,364 --> 01:08:00,700
But no collar? No Not. No. Which I

1893
01:08:00,700 --> 01:08:02,219
know, like, our neighbor to the other side

1894
01:08:02,219 --> 01:08:02,539
of us.

1895
01:08:03,260 --> 01:08:05,119
She tried to keep collars on her

1896
01:08:05,500 --> 01:08:05,980
outdoor counts.

1897
01:08:06,632 --> 01:08:09,255
And they could couldn't keep it off. File.

1898
01:08:09,493 --> 01:08:10,367
What fuck it. Yeah.

1899
01:08:11,083 --> 01:08:13,229
But, no. They're... They they aren't... They belong

1900
01:08:13,229 --> 01:08:14,978
next door, and they are taken care of.

1901
01:08:16,106 --> 01:08:17,381
Part of, I think they come over and

1902
01:08:17,381 --> 01:08:18,654
hang out with us because we have so

1903
01:08:18,654 --> 01:08:20,167
much shade in our front yard and true.

1904
01:08:20,326 --> 01:08:21,998
True. And and we have the little bird

1905
01:08:21,998 --> 01:08:23,885
bath in the front. But these are also

1906
01:08:24,083 --> 01:08:25,911
at least 1 of the cats from next

1907
01:08:25,911 --> 01:08:28,374
door, we have caught up on the roof

1908
01:08:28,374 --> 01:08:31,258
of the neighbor's house. Yeah. Just sitting like

1909
01:08:31,569 --> 01:08:32,449
j the turtle,

1910
01:08:33,569 --> 01:08:34,069
Overlooking

1911
01:08:34,689 --> 01:08:37,170
their domain. The neighbor on the other side

1912
01:08:37,170 --> 01:08:39,909
of us has an orange cat named koi

1913
01:08:40,050 --> 01:08:43,284
who I want him to love us. He

1914
01:08:43,585 --> 01:08:45,824
0 fucks together well just weird. He... We

1915
01:08:45,824 --> 01:08:47,505
nope. He's not a people. He's is not

1916
01:08:47,505 --> 01:08:49,104
people person. He are not his people... We

1917
01:08:49,104 --> 01:08:50,145
will never be his people.

1918
01:08:50,800 --> 01:08:52,079
He gets on her house.

1919
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:54,399
I'm like, well, do we have cats on

1920
01:08:54,399 --> 01:08:55,520
our house? Right?

1921
01:08:56,640 --> 01:08:56,960
Right.

1922
01:08:57,920 --> 01:08:58,420
Waiting.

1923
01:09:00,493 --> 01:09:02,731
So... Yeah. But I mean, other than that,

1924
01:09:02,971 --> 01:09:04,809
oops yeah. I mean, we've just been keeping

1925
01:09:04,809 --> 01:09:06,348
on keeping on. Mh.

1926
01:09:06,727 --> 01:09:07,447
Mh. Know.

1927
01:09:08,885 --> 01:09:09,125
Yeah.

1928
01:09:09,938 --> 01:09:12,485
So it's been relatively quiet, which I will

1929
01:09:12,485 --> 01:09:14,714
take down any damn day. Mh. The week.

1930
01:09:15,908 --> 01:09:17,835
It's just been busy. It's been hot. It's

1931
01:09:17,835 --> 01:09:18,814
been... Elizabeth.

1932
01:09:19,193 --> 01:09:20,791
But yeah. Just the nature Of I think

1933
01:09:20,791 --> 01:09:22,069
it's raining right now, actually.

1934
01:09:22,788 --> 01:09:24,786
I won't be mad about that And things

1935
01:09:24,786 --> 01:09:24,945
down.

1936
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:26,260
So

1937
01:09:26,720 --> 01:09:28,399
I guess that's it. Yeah. For us,

1938
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:30,960
there will be... If you are on our

1939
01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:33,680
email list, you'll get an a newsletter on

1940
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:34,420
Friday

1941
01:09:35,295 --> 01:09:37,775
there'll be the Monday podcast next Monday, but

1942
01:09:37,775 --> 01:09:40,015
then that would be kinda quiet. If you

1943
01:09:40,015 --> 01:09:42,015
see... Quote See us online is because I

1944
01:09:42,015 --> 01:09:42,574
scheduled it. Y'all.

1945
01:09:43,614 --> 01:09:46,282
We are going to do our absolute damned

1946
01:09:46,338 --> 01:09:49,304
to just sit on our couch. Yeah. And

1947
01:09:50,713 --> 01:09:53,435
nothing else. That's that's the plan. We shall

1948
01:09:53,435 --> 01:09:54,492
see when the universe

1949
01:09:55,585 --> 01:09:55,823
door.

1950
01:09:56,461 --> 01:09:56,699
Yep.

1951
01:09:57,895 --> 01:09:59,965
So I guess we'll go. Mh. And we

1952
01:09:59,965 --> 01:10:02,697
will talk to you y'all soon ish. U.

1953
01:10:03,095 --> 01:10:05,014
Okay. Okay. Bye. Bye.