1 00:00:10,705 --> 00:00:12,365 - You are listening to the Living BDSM podcast, 2 00:00:12,515 --> 00:00:13,965 episode 3 96. 3 00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,405 Okay. The Lord's here with the one, the only, the, 4 00:00:18,605 --> 00:00:20,165 I wish you could have taken a longer nap. 5 00:00:20,565 --> 00:00:22,485 I know you're tired, John Brownstone. Yeah. 6 00:00:23,005 --> 00:00:24,645 I mean, I think if it had been a longer nap, 7 00:00:24,705 --> 00:00:26,765 we would not be recording slash streaming right now. 8 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:27,645 Be sitting here now. You would've slept 9 00:00:27,845 --> 00:00:28,685 straight through that night. 10 00:00:28,685 --> 00:00:30,525 Mm-Hmm. , uh, fingers crossed. 11 00:00:30,525 --> 00:00:33,085 That means you sleep good tonight. I hope so. Yeah. Yeah. 12 00:00:33,225 --> 00:00:34,405 So if you wanna know 13 00:00:34,405 --> 00:00:35,885 what a tired John Brownstone looks like, 14 00:00:35,985 --> 00:00:39,205 go watch the video , because there's no hiding it. 15 00:00:40,855 --> 00:00:42,245 Don't worry. I can, I can talk 16 00:00:42,265 --> 00:00:43,565 enough for two or three people. 17 00:00:43,785 --> 00:00:46,205 So you, you just chime in when you need to 18 00:00:46,305 --> 00:00:47,445 and I'll handle the rest. 19 00:00:47,585 --> 00:00:49,325 I'm, I'm just here for eye candy today. 20 00:00:49,465 --> 00:00:52,165 And you are, Hey, I don't look on my own. 21 00:00:52,365 --> 00:00:53,885 I know how to talk to myself. Okay? 22 00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:55,725 I sound like a crazy person. Whatever. 23 00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:57,405 I give great advice even to myself. 24 00:00:57,905 --> 00:01:01,965 Uh, but here with the microphone now, I need you at least 25 00:01:01,985 --> 00:01:04,965 to bounce off of, even if you don't have a lot to say, 26 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,885 , if I think I'm talking to you 27 00:01:08,225 --> 00:01:10,325 and not into the void, I can do it. 28 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:14,485 Okay? So don't you worry, , that is not at all 29 00:01:15,085 --> 00:01:17,845 what we're talking about, except I would say 30 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:21,565 that I do think that you, your presence, you, your love, 31 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:24,885 our relationship probably does ground and center me. 32 00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,405 So I guess it does kind of relate, okay? 33 00:01:27,775 --> 00:01:30,765 We're talking about, um, as a kinky person 34 00:01:30,985 --> 00:01:33,525 who has certain kinks for us, 35 00:01:33,665 --> 00:01:35,085 and maybe something for you to think about. 36 00:01:35,435 --> 00:01:37,205 What grounds us, what centers us? 37 00:01:37,315 --> 00:01:39,405 What is grounding your centering even mean? 38 00:01:39,905 --> 00:01:43,525 And what, if any, kinks, like, get us into that space. 39 00:01:43,625 --> 00:01:44,885 We need to be in that. 40 00:01:44,885 --> 00:01:46,645 That's what we're talking about this week. 41 00:01:47,075 --> 00:01:48,765 Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. 42 00:01:49,035 --> 00:01:50,805 This is your first time listening. Glad to have you. 43 00:01:50,825 --> 00:01:52,565 If you're back for another week, welcome back. 44 00:01:52,665 --> 00:01:54,525 Loving BDSM is produced every Monday 45 00:01:54,545 --> 00:01:56,485 and Friday for your Kiki pleasure in education. 46 00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:59,045 And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net. 47 00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:00,845 Come back often and feel free to add the podcast 48 00:02:00,985 --> 00:02:02,325 to your favorite podcast app. 49 00:02:02,585 --> 00:02:04,765 You can also follow the show on FetLife at Loving 50 00:02:05,315 --> 00:02:08,405 BDSM PC on Instagram and threads at that handle. 51 00:02:08,565 --> 00:02:12,725 I will forever fucking hate with all of my heart 52 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:15,365 loving Ds and the number one. 53 00:02:15,365 --> 00:02:17,525 So that's at Loving DS one, 54 00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:20,525 or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving 55 00:02:20,955 --> 00:02:22,045 bdsm, where you can watch us live. 56 00:02:22,045 --> 00:02:23,605 Stream the podcast every Wednesday, 57 00:02:24,025 --> 00:02:25,125 all links, turn the show notes. 58 00:02:25,665 --> 00:02:28,045 Big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on Patreon, 59 00:02:28,045 --> 00:02:29,365 including our newest peeps. 60 00:02:29,735 --> 00:02:32,445 We're able to keep doing this weird ass shit on the internet 61 00:02:32,875 --> 00:02:36,325 because of our patrons, and we love you . 62 00:02:36,625 --> 00:02:38,285 If you'd like to join our kinky community 63 00:02:38,285 --> 00:02:39,805 and get access to extra content 64 00:02:40,025 --> 00:02:42,205 and a Discord server with a group of super cool, 65 00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,925 super nice sters, you can do that. 66 00:02:44,155 --> 00:02:47,445 Join us at patreon.com/kayla lords, 67 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,925 that's patreon.com/kayla lords, 68 00:02:50,985 --> 00:02:52,365 or use a link in the show notes. 69 00:02:53,075 --> 00:02:57,525 Okay. So fan going on. It is much cooler in here. Oh, yeah. 70 00:02:57,675 --> 00:02:59,220 Than it would be if we were doing 71 00:02:59,435 --> 00:03:00,605 this in the middle of the day. 72 00:03:00,605 --> 00:03:03,125 Correct. But yeah, we still need the fan. Yep. Okay. 73 00:03:03,145 --> 00:03:06,285 So before we get into the this week's topic, uh, 74 00:03:06,605 --> 00:03:09,165 announcement, we're going live Friday night, uh, uh, 75 00:03:09,645 --> 00:03:12,685 assuming that we are healthy enough for it, . 76 00:03:13,185 --> 00:03:17,125 If JB is sick, I'll probably go live, 77 00:03:17,385 --> 00:03:18,645 but not for the full time. 78 00:03:18,745 --> 00:03:21,365 If we are both sick, we may postpone is all I'm saying. 79 00:03:21,825 --> 00:03:24,645 Um, but assuming everybody's healthy , , 80 00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:30,085 Friday, May 17th, 9:30 PM Eastern will be live on YouTube 81 00:03:30,225 --> 00:03:32,645 for our monthly virtual Munch q 82 00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:36,605 and a thing, uh, where it's chaotic on purpose. 83 00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:40,085 So, and I don't apologize for the chaos there. No, no, no. 84 00:03:40,185 --> 00:03:41,765 Um, so yeah, that is coming up. 85 00:03:41,785 --> 00:03:43,805 Uh, we link to it in our weekly newsletter. 86 00:03:44,305 --> 00:03:46,365 Um, if you're subscribed to our YouTube channel, 87 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:47,925 hopefully the notifications work 88 00:03:47,945 --> 00:03:49,565 and you find out when we are going live. 89 00:03:49,985 --> 00:03:53,765 Um, so yeah, we hope you can join us. Okay. 90 00:03:54,115 --> 00:03:56,525 This week's topic on what grounds us 91 00:03:56,525 --> 00:03:59,005 and centers us in kink, like kink activities 92 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:01,205 or parts of our kink life that give us 93 00:04:01,205 --> 00:04:02,685 that grounded or centered feeling. 94 00:04:03,435 --> 00:04:06,005 This topic came to me when JB pulled my 95 00:04:06,005 --> 00:04:07,445 hair, . 96 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,925 Look, I cut off all my hair yet again, 97 00:04:10,925 --> 00:04:12,125 podcast listeners, you can't see. 98 00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:16,325 It's fine. And, uh, it had to pass the hair pull check now. 99 00:04:16,325 --> 00:04:18,165 It was a little late once the hair got cut, 100 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,765 but, you know, we needed to test. 101 00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:22,045 And, uh, he did. 102 00:04:22,045 --> 00:04:23,445 - He, it's just fine. It's perfect. 103 00:04:23,675 --> 00:04:25,045 - It's perfect. Um, 104 00:04:25,425 --> 00:04:28,165 and I realized in that moment, I'd been, I'd been, I, 105 00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,925 it's been a bad brain week for me this week. 106 00:04:30,925 --> 00:04:35,445 Like, I've just been, I've been off. Um, and for, it's 107 00:04:35,445 --> 00:04:36,765 - Been that way for me too. Yeah, it, 108 00:04:36,795 --> 00:04:37,795 - It's, yeah. 109 00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:38,525 So whatever's going on with us, 110 00:04:38,875 --> 00:04:40,805 it's probably been creeping up on us. 111 00:04:41,225 --> 00:04:43,845 Um, but in that moment when I'm feeling like that, 112 00:04:44,035 --> 00:04:46,605 that just stinging tight, oh my god. 113 00:04:47,835 --> 00:04:52,245 Pain from having my hair pulled for like three seconds. 114 00:04:53,645 --> 00:04:56,205 I was no thoughts, just vibes. Like, I was just like, 115 00:04:56,205 --> 00:04:57,645 - Everything just kind of snapped back into, 116 00:04:57,705 --> 00:04:58,705 - Oh yeah. 117 00:04:58,705 --> 00:05:00,245 I was like, Ooh. And then for a few minutes afterwards, 118 00:05:00,365 --> 00:05:01,845 I was like, oh, there I am. 119 00:05:02,685 --> 00:05:04,925 I remember me like this . 120 00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:07,885 It didn't last long enough, , 121 00:05:09,585 --> 00:05:12,405 but I, yeah, I went, oh, and, and a topic was born. 122 00:05:12,465 --> 00:05:16,085 So here we are. So let's talk first about what does it mean 123 00:05:16,085 --> 00:05:17,165 to be centered or grounded? 124 00:05:17,555 --> 00:05:19,445 They're technically two different terms. 125 00:05:19,925 --> 00:05:22,165 A lot of people do use them interchangeably. Mm-Hmm. 126 00:05:22,205 --> 00:05:25,045 . Um, I tried to find a source that felt 127 00:05:26,235 --> 00:05:30,245 reputable , um, but take it with a grain of salt. 128 00:05:30,385 --> 00:05:33,445 And if you have a very, like, an understanding for yourself 129 00:05:33,445 --> 00:05:36,365 of what it means to be grounded or centered, keep it 130 00:05:36,365 --> 00:05:38,845 where I don't, I don't know enough. 131 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,285 I'm just, I found a source that I went 132 00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:42,925 that feels right, that feels reputable. 133 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,965 'cause when I say centered and grounded, if you ask me 134 00:05:45,965 --> 00:05:47,885 to define it, I'd be like, no, I know. 135 00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:48,965 It's one of those words. I know 136 00:05:48,965 --> 00:05:50,965 what it means just through using it. 137 00:05:51,205 --> 00:05:53,005 . Don't ask me 138 00:05:53,025 --> 00:05:55,125 for the Webster Dictionary definition. 139 00:05:56,025 --> 00:05:57,885 So to, to the internet, I went, 140 00:05:57,985 --> 00:05:59,565 so this is from Psychology Today. 141 00:06:00,645 --> 00:06:02,765 Somebody wrote an article called What is Centering? 142 00:06:02,765 --> 00:06:04,565 What Is Grounding? I have linked to it in the places, 143 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,285 so if you wanna read it for yourself, great. 144 00:06:06,745 --> 00:06:08,885 Um, but this is, um, 145 00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:12,805 it's a couple paragraphs about centering and, um, grounding. 146 00:06:13,705 --> 00:06:15,925 Say centering usually refers to our mental 147 00:06:15,945 --> 00:06:17,085 and physical state of mind. 148 00:06:17,155 --> 00:06:19,405 It's the place we know we have to get back to. 149 00:06:19,405 --> 00:06:20,965 When we're not feeling like ourselves, 150 00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:23,205 when we're not centered, we might feel lost 151 00:06:23,205 --> 00:06:24,405 or out of touch with ourselves. 152 00:06:24,715 --> 00:06:28,045 When we center ourselves, we bring calm to our emotions. 153 00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:31,525 Uh, we do so by slowing down our breathing so 154 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,885 that we feel more of what's going on around us. 155 00:06:34,365 --> 00:06:36,725 Becoming centered is a way to find peace within the chaos 156 00:06:37,155 --> 00:06:38,445 that might be surrounding us. 157 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:42,285 It's all, it's about being air, quote in check 158 00:06:42,515 --> 00:06:43,525 with what's going on. 159 00:06:43,555 --> 00:06:45,285 Individuals who are centered are 160 00:06:45,285 --> 00:06:46,685 typically calm and peaceful. 161 00:06:47,265 --> 00:06:49,205 Uh, so post kink scene is 162 00:06:49,205 --> 00:06:51,165 what I like's being described here. 163 00:06:51,665 --> 00:06:54,165 Oh, that feeling when I'm like, oh. Oh. 164 00:06:54,295 --> 00:06:57,365 There I'm again, . I recognize me. Okay. Mm-Hmm. 165 00:06:57,405 --> 00:07:01,125 . So, grounding. Grounding is a term used in 166 00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:04,285 conjunction with the energy fields around us. 167 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:07,325 Uh, being grounded means that we're content with who we are, 168 00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:08,725 we're sure of ourselves, and have 169 00:07:08,725 --> 00:07:10,285 confidence in the decisions we make. 170 00:07:11,285 --> 00:07:12,685 Becoming grounded is about getting rid 171 00:07:12,685 --> 00:07:14,485 of excessive energy in the body, 172 00:07:15,045 --> 00:07:16,445 allowing clean energy to come through. 173 00:07:16,475 --> 00:07:18,525 When we ground ourselves, we're calming 174 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:19,805 or slowing down our emotions 175 00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:22,165 and getting more in touch with our internal 176 00:07:22,305 --> 00:07:23,725 and external worlds. 177 00:07:23,795 --> 00:07:26,245 Grounding our energy can be helpful when we feel either 178 00:07:26,255 --> 00:07:27,645 unbalanced or nervous. 179 00:07:28,135 --> 00:07:30,605 Being grounded also means that we're more mindful 180 00:07:30,675 --> 00:07:32,285 with respect to our environment. 181 00:07:33,445 --> 00:07:35,725 I can see why those terms get used interchangeably. Mm-Hmm. 182 00:07:35,765 --> 00:07:37,485 , I can see how they can be 183 00:07:37,485 --> 00:07:38,525 seen as different things. 184 00:07:38,905 --> 00:07:40,365 Yep. I also think 185 00:07:40,435 --> 00:07:43,405 that one kink activity can do both . 186 00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:46,725 Does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yep. 187 00:07:47,465 --> 00:07:51,125 So, um, yeah, I, I, 188 00:07:51,325 --> 00:07:52,925 I totally vibe with that whole idea. 189 00:07:52,925 --> 00:07:56,165 If I'm, if I'm centered, I am back to myself, I am Mm-Hmm. 190 00:07:56,205 --> 00:07:58,005 I'm in that space of, uh, 191 00:07:58,005 --> 00:07:59,405 the way I keep saying it, there I am. 192 00:07:59,505 --> 00:08:01,245 You like this, this is the me I wanna be. 193 00:08:01,245 --> 00:08:03,765 This is the me that I, I've, that feels most right. 194 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,765 It, for me, it is not the chaotic me. 195 00:08:07,115 --> 00:08:09,725 It's not the, the way I've been going since what, 196 00:08:10,515 --> 00:08:14,245 last week sometime the executive dysfunction me, who cannot 197 00:08:15,665 --> 00:08:17,285 do, like, I can't make a decision. 198 00:08:17,405 --> 00:08:18,565 I can't focus on anything. 199 00:08:19,205 --> 00:08:21,565 I know what I need to do and how I need to do it, 200 00:08:21,565 --> 00:08:23,005 and I can't like that. 201 00:08:23,025 --> 00:08:26,205 And then the anxiety that sometimes comes 202 00:08:26,205 --> 00:08:28,485 with executive dysfunction, and sometimes it's just there 203 00:08:28,485 --> 00:08:29,765 because high anxiety. 204 00:08:30,355 --> 00:08:32,245 Just because, just because, just because. 205 00:08:32,865 --> 00:08:36,405 Um, and so in brief moments, 206 00:08:38,245 --> 00:08:39,365 specific to kink, not specific. 207 00:08:39,365 --> 00:08:41,205 Mm-Hmm. Because you can get grounded or centered in a 208 00:08:41,205 --> 00:08:42,245 lot of non kink ways. 209 00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:43,805 Right. But, and I'm sure I do. 210 00:08:44,165 --> 00:08:46,045 I just don't think of it that way. But in kink, 211 00:08:46,085 --> 00:08:47,445 I feel like I notice it more 212 00:08:47,715 --> 00:08:51,365 because I, it is that sort of snapback of, oh, 213 00:08:51,545 --> 00:08:52,605 I'm clear for a moment. 214 00:08:52,705 --> 00:08:53,885 All all is clear. 215 00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:56,165 When you were pulling my hair last night, 216 00:08:56,425 --> 00:09:00,045 all I could think about and focus on was that sharp pull 217 00:09:00,105 --> 00:09:01,765 of like, individual strands. 218 00:09:01,925 --> 00:09:03,525 'cause it's not like you take a, just a chunk 219 00:09:03,825 --> 00:09:05,205 and they all pull up together. 220 00:09:05,205 --> 00:09:07,405 Mm-Hmm. , it's all like uneven. 221 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,125 So one part will be like this kind of dull kind of pull. 222 00:09:10,385 --> 00:09:11,525 And another part will be like, oh, 223 00:09:11,755 --> 00:09:14,485 fire in my scalp grave, . 224 00:09:14,905 --> 00:09:18,325 But when that's happening, all I am focused on 225 00:09:19,065 --> 00:09:20,965 is the sensation and the moment. 226 00:09:21,365 --> 00:09:22,645 'cause when you do it, it is 227 00:09:23,025 --> 00:09:25,485 for us an absolute act of dominance. 228 00:09:25,555 --> 00:09:29,165 Like you are, you are in charge and you are reminding 229 00:09:29,165 --> 00:09:30,165 - Me. 230 00:09:30,165 --> 00:09:31,765 Now. Now, would you say, when I do something like that, 231 00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:32,885 when I grab your hair 232 00:09:32,885 --> 00:09:35,845 and pull it, is it like a instant thing? 233 00:09:35,845 --> 00:09:37,245 Like a switch being flipped 234 00:09:37,345 --> 00:09:41,325 - Or, um, I think maybe as it pertains 235 00:09:41,345 --> 00:09:44,285 to grounding it is because I could be off floaty 236 00:09:44,285 --> 00:09:48,125 and like, not being, not paying attention, not focused, not, 237 00:09:48,705 --> 00:09:52,325 you know, feeling like I can move forward and do anything. 238 00:09:52,825 --> 00:09:56,125 And in that moment, everything comes into focus. 239 00:09:56,605 --> 00:09:59,485 , . I mean, am I focused solely on 240 00:09:59,995 --> 00:10:02,085 hand in hair that burning? 241 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,885 Like all of it? Like, it's all of it at once. Mm. 242 00:10:05,145 --> 00:10:07,525 In the moment. I can't really pull out all 243 00:10:07,525 --> 00:10:08,605 the things that I feel. 244 00:10:08,805 --> 00:10:09,845 I just know, I feel it all. 245 00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:13,525 The thing I feel most overwhelmingly sensation wise is any 246 00:10:13,795 --> 00:10:15,085 strands that are being pulled, 247 00:10:15,085 --> 00:10:16,685 and it's that burn kind of pull. 248 00:10:17,665 --> 00:10:20,885 But the, the feeling like I can take a deep breath again, 249 00:10:21,315 --> 00:10:24,085 that is usually either towards 250 00:10:24,085 --> 00:10:25,245 the end or right as you let go. 251 00:10:25,305 --> 00:10:27,205 Mm-Hmm. I kinda go, whew. 252 00:10:27,725 --> 00:10:29,685 'cause while, again, this is personal, 253 00:10:29,685 --> 00:10:32,965 it's me having my hair pulled while you're doing that, I 254 00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:34,645 no thoughts there. 255 00:10:34,645 --> 00:10:35,845 There's no room for thoughts. 256 00:10:36,165 --> 00:10:38,005 I just feel, and I, 257 00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:41,845 and especially it was what yesterday, I am 258 00:10:42,715 --> 00:10:44,445 very much reminded of who I am. 259 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:47,885 Like I know who I am instead of having a lot 260 00:10:47,885 --> 00:10:49,645 of the chaotic thoughts, I tend to, 261 00:10:49,705 --> 00:10:52,045 or the, the anxious thoughts that I tend to 262 00:10:52,045 --> 00:10:55,765 where I question everything and then I get sort of paralyzed 263 00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,885 and can't do anything, 264 00:10:58,615 --> 00:11:00,245 can't go left or right, can't go forward. 265 00:11:00,345 --> 00:11:01,605 I'm like, I'm just, I'm a mess 266 00:11:02,715 --> 00:11:05,765 when something happens. 267 00:11:05,945 --> 00:11:08,325 And it, you know, maybe it's not a kink thing, 268 00:11:08,345 --> 00:11:10,525 but in this case, when it's a kink thing, like I, 269 00:11:11,595 --> 00:11:14,685 even if it's brief for a very brief moment during 270 00:11:15,345 --> 00:11:16,525 the whole duration of the during 271 00:11:16,585 --> 00:11:18,165 and then for a brief moment afterwards. 272 00:11:18,225 --> 00:11:20,085 Mm-Hmm. . I can just take a deep breath again. 273 00:11:21,195 --> 00:11:24,165 Okay. And I, it, I don't, to me it's an easy way 274 00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:26,125 specific care pulling, but we're 275 00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:27,125 gonna get into others later. 276 00:11:27,715 --> 00:11:31,805 It's a quick, easy headspace check. Okay. 277 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,525 If that makes sense. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. 278 00:11:33,565 --> 00:11:36,405 . And when I'm in my submissive headspace, 279 00:11:37,565 --> 00:11:39,005 I have found this to be true. 280 00:11:39,415 --> 00:11:42,445 Since I figured out I was kinky, everything else falls away. 281 00:11:42,845 --> 00:11:45,485 I get real focused on 'em in a, a submissive headspace. 282 00:11:45,485 --> 00:11:48,125 Because when I'm, when I'm being your submissive, 283 00:11:48,145 --> 00:11:50,365 and that is all that matters in that moment. 284 00:11:50,365 --> 00:11:52,045 Mm-Hmm. . Whether it's a physical thing 285 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,725 or a, you know, baby girl, go do this thing. 286 00:11:54,725 --> 00:11:58,285 Or this is just my task. I do, my purpose is very clear. 287 00:11:58,435 --> 00:12:00,045 There's no room for questions. 288 00:12:00,165 --> 00:12:01,925 I know what I'm supposed to do. Mm-Hmm. 289 00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:03,885 , because you told me what to do, . 290 00:12:04,185 --> 00:12:06,725 We have enough years of experience. I know what to do. 291 00:12:07,265 --> 00:12:10,365 And all I have to do is that outside 292 00:12:10,365 --> 00:12:11,685 of those moments, Mm-Hmm. 293 00:12:11,725 --> 00:12:12,125 , it's chaos. 294 00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:13,445 Everything's coming at me at once. 295 00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:16,005 And it's all the responsibilities and it's all the choices 296 00:12:16,105 --> 00:12:17,845 and it's all, it's all of it. 297 00:12:17,865 --> 00:12:21,245 And it's very easy on what I call bad brain weeks 298 00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:24,405 or timeframes to just be like 299 00:12:26,165 --> 00:12:27,525 floating in space with no tether. 300 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,005 It's like being tethered. 301 00:12:29,195 --> 00:12:32,405 It's like having an anchor or having something to hold onto. 302 00:12:33,145 --> 00:12:36,445 And I'm no longer just floating lost. Okay. 303 00:12:36,745 --> 00:12:38,245 Is this a moment where I am? 304 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:40,845 Everybody is reminded about how, how 305 00:12:41,985 --> 00:12:45,485 not spicy your brain is because you are supportive, 306 00:12:45,985 --> 00:12:47,285 but you also are kind. 307 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:49,685 Tell me if I'm wrong, 'cause I know you will. Okay. 308 00:12:50,105 --> 00:12:53,245 The, the vibe I'm getting is you're like, wow. 309 00:12:53,465 --> 00:12:55,525 Oh, that, that must be really tough. , I 310 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,605 - Can't imagine . 311 00:13:00,065 --> 00:13:03,205 - Oh, like you're, you're empathetic 312 00:13:04,065 --> 00:13:08,005 but you don't necessarily have, uh, 313 00:13:08,925 --> 00:13:10,045 personal experience 314 00:13:10,275 --> 00:13:11,885 that is in your own brain. Okay. . 315 00:13:11,885 --> 00:13:13,285 - That is correct. That is correct. 316 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:16,285 - So is it a little bit like you're watching a movie 317 00:13:16,635 --> 00:13:17,845 with subtitles? 318 00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:20,005 'cause I'm speaking another language , 319 00:13:20,545 --> 00:13:22,165 and you're like, yeah, pretty 320 00:13:22,165 --> 00:13:23,245 - Much I get what's going on here. 321 00:13:23,835 --> 00:13:26,325 - Yeah. I, we are following the notes because Mm-Hmm. 322 00:13:26,365 --> 00:13:27,405 , I did not want this to be chaotic 323 00:13:27,825 --> 00:13:28,965 or more so than usual. 324 00:13:30,025 --> 00:13:33,205 So, uh, those are the reasons I tend to need 325 00:13:33,205 --> 00:13:34,565 to be centered or grounded. 326 00:13:34,965 --> 00:13:38,845 . How, how do you feel about the idea of it? 327 00:13:38,945 --> 00:13:40,325 Can you think of times when you're like, 328 00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:42,205 I I need this. I've had this. 329 00:13:42,545 --> 00:13:46,605 - Um, I, I, I think that there are 330 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:49,805 absolutely times I need that. 331 00:13:50,465 --> 00:13:54,445 Uh, because there are times I feel, um, you know, 332 00:13:54,765 --> 00:13:56,685 I am the decider in the relationship. 333 00:13:56,945 --> 00:13:59,805 And, uh, sometimes it gets overwhelming Sure. 334 00:13:59,995 --> 00:14:02,805 With everything that's going on between stuff 335 00:14:02,805 --> 00:14:06,885 with the youngest, between finances, between the, the, 336 00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:10,125 the wood shop, between lb, between, 337 00:14:10,125 --> 00:14:11,245 between, between, between, 338 00:14:11,245 --> 00:14:12,245 - Between everything we do. 339 00:14:12,245 --> 00:14:14,445 LB is loving. BD sm sorry. Yeah. We forget. 340 00:14:14,445 --> 00:14:15,925 We don't have to talk in code with y'all. Yeah. 341 00:14:16,425 --> 00:14:19,525 - So, um, you know, there, there are times all 342 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,125 that stuff just, uh, 343 00:14:23,435 --> 00:14:24,885 becomes a lot. Mm-Hmm. . 344 00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:25,985 - Mm-Hmm. - 345 00:14:26,595 --> 00:14:27,885 - Have you, we'll get into 346 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,845 what kink activities make us feel this way. 347 00:14:29,845 --> 00:14:33,125 Mm-Hmm. But can, can you think of a time when in kink you, 348 00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:35,845 it has a thing you've done has given you 349 00:14:35,845 --> 00:14:37,885 that centered or that grounded feeling? Like do you have 350 00:14:38,485 --> 00:14:39,485 - Absolutely. 351 00:14:39,485 --> 00:14:43,845 Um, I, for me I think it's more centering. Mm. 352 00:14:44,155 --> 00:14:45,245 Than grounding. Mm-Hmm. . 353 00:14:45,825 --> 00:14:50,645 And, um, it, it comes to me like, 354 00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:52,885 it, it, last night, pulling your hair. 355 00:14:53,505 --> 00:14:55,325 - Oh. It's just like a, a thing you're gonna get 356 00:14:55,325 --> 00:14:57,405 - For, for me, for me, it's kind of a thing. Ah, you 357 00:14:57,405 --> 00:14:58,405 - Just do it. 358 00:14:58,405 --> 00:15:00,525 Like, no, you know, a lot, not a lot of forethought to it. 359 00:15:00,665 --> 00:15:03,245 - It, it does not happen all the time. No, 360 00:15:03,245 --> 00:15:04,565 - It does not, not often enough either. 361 00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,485 - Um, she said love the, the, the one time 362 00:15:08,225 --> 00:15:11,685 or times that I could say it, it definitely kind 363 00:15:11,685 --> 00:15:16,005 of does happen, is when we are doing a scene 364 00:15:16,105 --> 00:15:18,325 of any duration. 365 00:15:18,945 --> 00:15:20,245 - Oh. So when you get that kind of, 366 00:15:20,245 --> 00:15:22,685 that narrowed focus you get in dom space. 367 00:15:22,685 --> 00:15:26,725 Yes. Yes. And that, so I'm curious, when you're in Dom space 368 00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:28,325 and you get to have that like, 369 00:15:28,535 --> 00:15:30,245 super specific focus, like Mm-Hmm. 370 00:15:30,285 --> 00:15:32,045 , when we seen you're focused 371 00:15:32,045 --> 00:15:33,845 because you're a responsible human being 372 00:15:33,945 --> 00:15:35,445 who does not wanna harm me and 373 00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:36,685 - Don't wanna, don't wanna break my toys 374 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:37,685 - Non-consensual Ways. 375 00:15:37,685 --> 00:15:41,205 Right? Right. But so separate from that kind 376 00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:43,605 of just attention, you're paying dom space, 377 00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,045 focus, that kind of focus. 378 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,525 Mm-Hmm. , that's a 379 00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,125 centering kind of moment for you. 380 00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:52,165 Yeah. So I know 381 00:15:52,165 --> 00:15:55,365 that at least in the past when the aftermath of 382 00:15:55,365 --> 00:15:58,885 that the scene is over, everything's slowed down, you tend 383 00:15:58,885 --> 00:16:02,525 to be really hyped up because that focus was so strong. 384 00:16:02,745 --> 00:16:05,685 Yes. Does that mean that when the scene's over 385 00:16:05,785 --> 00:16:07,925 and there's no need for that focus anymore, 386 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,285 that you feel less centered? 387 00:16:09,345 --> 00:16:10,445 Or do you still feel centered? 388 00:16:10,505 --> 00:16:11,805 You just have energy when you do 389 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,605 - Something with, I, I still, I still feel centered. 390 00:16:13,745 --> 00:16:16,685 It does last a while after. Mm-Hmm. 391 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:20,565 , um, when we do the scenes at night, you know, 392 00:16:20,565 --> 00:16:22,325 when we've either been at a party, the club 393 00:16:22,385 --> 00:16:26,285 or whatever, um, I know you, when you are done, you, 394 00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:28,085 you're ready to close your eyes and, and, 395 00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:29,605 and pretty much go to sleep. I'm 396 00:16:29,605 --> 00:16:31,125 - Basically as relaxed as I can physically be 397 00:16:31,195 --> 00:16:32,325 without medication. 398 00:16:32,565 --> 00:16:34,765 , I will get hungry, please feed me. But yeah. 399 00:16:34,765 --> 00:16:36,285 Other, mostly I wanna go to sleep 400 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,725 - And, and see, for me it is the exact opposite. 401 00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:43,085 Yeah. I know. I am wound up and I I'm ready to go, man. 402 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,005 I'm firing all, all cylinders. 403 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,125 - Is it, is it part, partly 404 00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:49,725 because everything within you mentally, emotionally kind 405 00:16:49,725 --> 00:16:51,645 of comes together because you're centered, 406 00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:54,245 everything's just real clear and you are who you are 407 00:16:54,265 --> 00:16:57,765 and all the other outlying like annoyances have fallen away. 408 00:16:58,745 --> 00:17:01,045 Is that like, it's a question I'm actually asking 409 00:17:01,325 --> 00:17:03,485 - - , he's already gone. 410 00:17:03,535 --> 00:17:05,805 Y'all, he is not centered right now. No. 411 00:17:06,185 --> 00:17:09,005 So when after the scene and you're like ready to go, 412 00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:10,365 and you got the energy and the focus 413 00:17:10,505 --> 00:17:15,405 and you're saying, yeah, you are still centered, is it maybe 414 00:17:15,405 --> 00:17:16,685 because, or is it for another reason? 415 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:21,005 Is it because you are back 416 00:17:21,065 --> 00:17:22,165 to yourself in a way? 417 00:17:22,165 --> 00:17:24,885 There's no, there's, it's not that the outside 418 00:17:25,855 --> 00:17:26,965 chaos isn't there. 419 00:17:27,105 --> 00:17:29,405 Is it that it doesn't matter or you're able to tune 420 00:17:29,405 --> 00:17:30,405 - It out? 421 00:17:30,405 --> 00:17:31,965 It's, it's, it's not as pertinent at that point. Gotcha. 422 00:17:32,395 --> 00:17:35,405 Okay. Gotcha. Because, um, you know, 423 00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:40,005 let's face it, you know, doing, doing a scene, 424 00:17:40,835 --> 00:17:42,525 there's a lot of stuff involved with that. 425 00:17:43,345 --> 00:17:44,845 You know, you, you kind of have to 426 00:17:45,385 --> 00:17:46,605 put a lot of your focus in there. 427 00:17:46,675 --> 00:17:48,565 Sure. Which can be tiring to do that. 428 00:17:48,565 --> 00:17:51,725 You can't, can't just, you know, okay, yeah. 429 00:17:51,785 --> 00:17:53,645 I'm gonna, you know, pull out a paddle and flogger 430 00:17:53,645 --> 00:17:55,085 and, you know, la la la da la 431 00:17:55,105 --> 00:17:56,105 - Da. 432 00:17:56,105 --> 00:17:58,245 Yeah. Not for a, a planned scene. Sure, sure. Right. Yeah. 433 00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,245 Yeah. 434 00:17:59,825 --> 00:18:04,325 - So I lost my thought. 435 00:18:04,435 --> 00:18:06,005 - It's o it's okay. It's okay. 436 00:18:06,075 --> 00:18:07,725 I'll, I don't know where your thought was, 437 00:18:07,725 --> 00:18:08,805 but I did have another question. 438 00:18:09,035 --> 00:18:11,885 - Okay. - Which is, is sort of the irony 439 00:18:11,885 --> 00:18:14,365 of if you know the things that can ground you or center you 440 00:18:14,365 --> 00:18:15,365 and you know, that's good for you, 441 00:18:15,365 --> 00:18:17,005 that doesn't mean they don't still get avoided. 442 00:18:17,005 --> 00:18:18,485 And here's why I ask that. Mm-Hmm. 443 00:18:18,525 --> 00:18:20,205 for all that, you know, 444 00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:22,005 that if the stars align, 445 00:18:22,125 --> 00:18:23,645 'cause dom space, subspace, 446 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:24,725 none of that's guaranteed, right? 447 00:18:24,725 --> 00:18:29,285 Correct. So dom space is not a guarantee for you, 448 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,005 but you know what it does for you. 449 00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:36,085 And yet for a variety of reasons we don't see 450 00:18:36,185 --> 00:18:37,205 as often as we used 451 00:18:37,205 --> 00:18:38,205 - To - . 452 00:18:38,205 --> 00:18:39,165 Yeah. Lots of reasons. 453 00:18:39,315 --> 00:18:41,725 This is not, I don't want this to come across as I'm like, 454 00:18:41,725 --> 00:18:43,125 well, why aren't we seeing, well, 455 00:18:43,125 --> 00:18:44,245 that's not the question I'm asking 456 00:18:45,355 --> 00:18:46,965 because I know how my brain works. 457 00:18:46,985 --> 00:18:48,965 And so I'm wondering if this is maybe something similar. 458 00:18:50,985 --> 00:18:55,125 Do you sometimes kind of tell yourself, 459 00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:58,645 I don't have it in me to scene because mm-Hmm. 460 00:18:58,685 --> 00:19:00,645 , there's too much going on. I am tired. 461 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,085 It's too chaotic. I can't focus. 462 00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:07,285 And do you forget that the outcome of that scene could be 463 00:19:07,285 --> 00:19:08,965 that you get your focus back? Like, does 464 00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:09,965 - That ever come into play? 465 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:14,485 And there, there, there lies the conundrum. Uhhuh 466 00:19:14,925 --> 00:19:15,925 - . 467 00:19:15,925 --> 00:19:16,285 Oh no, I feel you. I 468 00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:17,285 - Feel you. 469 00:19:17,285 --> 00:19:18,045 I, because, yeah. 470 00:19:18,385 --> 00:19:22,565 Um, it, it's very easy for me to become 471 00:19:23,475 --> 00:19:24,845 overwhelmed with everything. 472 00:19:24,845 --> 00:19:26,205 Especially, especially lately. 473 00:19:27,185 --> 00:19:29,405 Um, you know, we're, we're juggling a lot 474 00:19:29,405 --> 00:19:30,725 of hats right now. Sure. 475 00:19:30,985 --> 00:19:32,045 - Do you know your metaphor 476 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,765 for juggling changes every time you say it? 477 00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:34,925 I would like somebody to go back in 478 00:19:34,925 --> 00:19:35,965 the archives and clock it. 479 00:19:36,105 --> 00:19:37,565 We have juggled so many things right now. 480 00:19:37,565 --> 00:19:40,245 We're juggling hats. Uh, it's fine. It's fine. 481 00:19:40,365 --> 00:19:42,245 I find it, I find it very endearing. 482 00:19:42,555 --> 00:19:46,525 - Okay. So, um, you know, 483 00:19:47,025 --> 00:19:51,085 and it's funny how that, how, how the mind works like that 484 00:19:51,085 --> 00:19:55,645 because you know that doing something like that can, 485 00:19:55,705 --> 00:19:57,565 can kind of bring you back and, 486 00:19:57,665 --> 00:20:01,045 and take that, that that stress and that tension and, 487 00:20:01,185 --> 00:20:02,685 and re relieve it. 488 00:20:03,385 --> 00:20:07,965 But when you're mired in all the stuff, right, 489 00:20:08,355 --> 00:20:09,805 it's like, how, how are we gonna 490 00:20:09,805 --> 00:20:10,965 find time to do this? Right, 491 00:20:11,245 --> 00:20:14,165 - , it's, there's no, it's, I I would say it, 492 00:20:14,195 --> 00:20:15,725 this happens for a lot of reasons, but 493 00:20:16,475 --> 00:20:17,605 because of the topic, 494 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:20,565 when we are not grounded and centered Mm-Hmm. 495 00:20:20,605 --> 00:20:21,605 or, and 496 00:20:21,665 --> 00:20:25,485 or whatever, it is very hard to think 497 00:20:26,255 --> 00:20:28,285 about things and the outcome of things. 498 00:20:28,285 --> 00:20:30,765 What I think it's a little, it's kind of ironic 499 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,845 'cause it's a little bit like you're in the moment of I am 500 00:20:32,845 --> 00:20:34,325 so exhausted and overwhelmed, 501 00:20:34,645 --> 00:20:37,445 I could not possibly put together the energy for a scene. 502 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,245 Mm-Hmm. . But it means that you're not able 503 00:20:39,245 --> 00:20:40,645 to think ahead and go, 504 00:20:41,185 --> 00:20:43,205 but wait, if I, if I put in a little bit 505 00:20:43,205 --> 00:20:46,485 of effort now it's the same thing of forgetting 506 00:20:46,485 --> 00:20:48,965 that a scene scene doesn't have to be an hour long 507 00:20:49,345 --> 00:20:52,885 and a, you know, a 18 act play , like, it can be 508 00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:56,245 20 minutes of a very simple activity. 509 00:20:57,265 --> 00:20:59,485 And that still air quote counts as a scene. 510 00:20:59,485 --> 00:21:01,485 And you can still get some of the benefits of the scene. 511 00:21:01,905 --> 00:21:03,965 But when you're tired and overwhelmed 512 00:21:04,065 --> 00:21:06,565 and stressed out, it's very hard to think 513 00:21:07,315 --> 00:21:08,845 like that far ahead. 514 00:21:08,915 --> 00:21:11,845 Correct. And I think there's a term I'm trying to think of, 515 00:21:11,945 --> 00:21:13,285 uh, to, of that kind of thinking. 516 00:21:13,285 --> 00:21:15,925 And I, my brain can, is not firing on all cylinders. 517 00:21:16,045 --> 00:21:17,525 I cannot think of it. Somebody is thinking of it, 518 00:21:17,525 --> 00:21:20,125 and you'll probably yell it into your car while you're 519 00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:21,285 driving, listening to podcast . 520 00:21:21,705 --> 00:21:26,045 Um, so are there times, have there been times 521 00:21:26,135 --> 00:21:28,205 where you had that moment of Mm-Hmm. 522 00:21:28,245 --> 00:21:29,405 , I don't have it in me to scene. 523 00:21:29,425 --> 00:21:30,925 Oh my God, it's too much. It's too much. 524 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,205 But you pushed through anyway 525 00:21:34,225 --> 00:21:38,245 and then when you did the times that you have done Mm-Hmm. 526 00:21:38,285 --> 00:21:41,605 is it, is it always worth it when you do? 527 00:21:41,745 --> 00:21:43,365 Is it sometimes worth it? It, 528 00:21:43,545 --> 00:21:44,685 - It usually is worth it. 529 00:21:45,105 --> 00:21:48,325 And, and what's funny is it's then it comes down 530 00:21:48,325 --> 00:21:52,245 to the fact, well, God, this, this was 531 00:21:53,255 --> 00:21:54,845 great and I feel wonderful. 532 00:21:55,025 --> 00:21:56,205 Why don't we do this more often? 533 00:21:56,745 --> 00:21:58,485 You know, and, you know Yeah. 534 00:21:58,665 --> 00:22:00,845 - The post scene haze and high Yeah. 535 00:22:00,845 --> 00:22:02,605 We will both be like, we need to do this more often. 536 00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:05,885 Let's put it on the calendar now. Yeah. 537 00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:09,525 And then after the, the bliss wears off, we're like, 538 00:22:09,525 --> 00:22:10,765 oh, we're so tired 539 00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:12,405 - And stressed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 540 00:22:12,405 --> 00:22:16,245 - Yeah. I'm, I'm near a hundred percent positive 541 00:22:16,245 --> 00:22:19,965 that they're the people, professionals, gurus, 542 00:22:20,045 --> 00:22:22,285 whoever out there who talk about being centered 543 00:22:22,345 --> 00:22:23,445 and grounded and how to do it. 544 00:22:23,445 --> 00:22:26,565 Mm-Hmm. probably talk about ways to have 545 00:22:26,565 --> 00:22:28,165 that feeling for more than five minutes. 546 00:22:28,325 --> 00:22:30,365 I very rarely have that feeling for more than five minutes. 547 00:22:30,765 --> 00:22:32,565 . I can get that from kink. 548 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,605 I get if we do like a full on scene 549 00:22:34,735 --> 00:22:38,685 where maybe I didn't hit Subspace, but I relax the fuck out 550 00:22:38,705 --> 00:22:42,925 and I, you know, feel no non-consensual pain at all. 551 00:22:43,665 --> 00:22:47,805 Um, that'll last me usually into the next day when we have 552 00:22:47,805 --> 00:22:49,685 even outside of a scene when we just kind 553 00:22:49,685 --> 00:22:52,485 of get like deep into our power exchange for a little bit. 554 00:22:53,345 --> 00:22:54,565 Not in anything elaborate, 555 00:22:54,565 --> 00:22:58,205 but like for 30 minutes you were very much daddy dom 556 00:22:58,205 --> 00:23:01,045 and I'm very much baby girl submissive that can, 557 00:23:01,195 --> 00:23:04,645 that feeling can hold me for like, maybe up to a day, 558 00:23:04,905 --> 00:23:06,525 you know, into the next day at least. 559 00:23:06,525 --> 00:23:09,925 Mm-Hmm. the small moments, like, you know, 560 00:23:09,925 --> 00:23:12,965 having my hair pulled last night, I, I got the moment, 561 00:23:13,085 --> 00:23:14,365 I got the 10 minutes after, 562 00:23:15,825 --> 00:23:17,645 but when I woke up, the, the feeling was 563 00:23:17,865 --> 00:23:18,485 - Had faded. Yeah. 564 00:23:18,785 --> 00:23:20,885 - I'm sure there's somebody out there selling some course 565 00:23:21,145 --> 00:23:23,485 or supplement who could tell you, you can be always, 566 00:23:23,505 --> 00:23:26,805 always grounded or centered if you just take their magic 567 00:23:26,915 --> 00:23:30,205 pill and plant their magic bean , um, . 568 00:23:30,865 --> 00:23:32,765 And maybe there are people who are able to, 569 00:23:32,905 --> 00:23:35,845 and I admire them. 570 00:23:36,565 --> 00:23:39,765 I, and I don't know if it's the brain I have. 571 00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:42,125 I don't know if that's just not really realistic for people 572 00:23:42,145 --> 00:23:45,805 who live in the capitalistic society that we live in. 573 00:23:46,085 --> 00:23:48,965 . Um, . Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. 574 00:23:49,005 --> 00:23:53,525 . But I think that it's, so, I don't wanna say, 575 00:23:53,545 --> 00:23:55,525 oh, we're striving to speak centered 576 00:23:55,585 --> 00:23:56,605 and grounded all the time. 577 00:23:57,305 --> 00:24:00,525 Um, I do think there, it may be 578 00:24:02,295 --> 00:24:04,325 worth the effort to try to feel 579 00:24:04,325 --> 00:24:06,245 that way more often than not. 580 00:24:07,025 --> 00:24:09,845 But I wonder, and this is where I'm no expert on this topic, 581 00:24:10,185 --> 00:24:15,085 if over time, if you did only the same, like one thing 582 00:24:15,145 --> 00:24:16,925 to center yourself or ground yourself Mm-Hmm. 583 00:24:16,965 --> 00:24:17,965 , um, in kink 584 00:24:17,985 --> 00:24:19,045 or outside of kink, 585 00:24:19,065 --> 00:24:22,485 if it ha if it wears off like you get used to it, is it one 586 00:24:22,485 --> 00:24:25,645 of those things where diminishing returns each time? 587 00:24:26,265 --> 00:24:28,205 So after a while it becomes commonplace 588 00:24:28,205 --> 00:24:29,805 and is not this thing 589 00:24:29,805 --> 00:24:31,725 - That if not the thing. Yeah. 590 00:24:32,545 --> 00:24:35,845 - So maybe it's okay if we have many things 591 00:24:35,845 --> 00:24:36,885 that help us get grounded 592 00:24:36,885 --> 00:24:39,125 or centered that are not, not even just kink things, just 593 00:24:39,985 --> 00:24:41,085 things in life. 594 00:24:41,155 --> 00:24:42,685 Yeah. Then you can kind of pick and choose 595 00:24:42,745 --> 00:24:44,405 and then everything sort of stays fresh. 596 00:24:44,715 --> 00:24:46,765 - Yeah. And, and, and that's something too. 597 00:24:46,845 --> 00:24:49,205 I mean, I, I've not reached that point just 598 00:24:49,205 --> 00:24:51,245 because of the way our life has been. 599 00:24:51,825 --> 00:24:53,045 Um, but you know, yeah. 600 00:24:53,045 --> 00:24:54,525 I've wondered if, because, you know, 601 00:24:54,525 --> 00:24:56,765 and then when you do it, you're like, wow, this feels great. 602 00:24:56,765 --> 00:25:00,245 You should do this more. And then I I've often wondered, 603 00:25:00,245 --> 00:25:04,765 well, if we do this a lot more, will it not become, does 604 00:25:04,765 --> 00:25:05,765 - It become commonplace? 605 00:25:05,765 --> 00:25:08,565 Yeah. Well and you know, I think is it then 606 00:25:08,565 --> 00:25:11,085 that it's the novelty of it that makes us feel 607 00:25:11,725 --> 00:25:13,085 a little bit more grounded or centered 608 00:25:13,785 --> 00:25:15,685 And the activity certainly plays a part, 609 00:25:15,705 --> 00:25:18,645 but it's the fact that we did the thing, you know, I hate 610 00:25:18,645 --> 00:25:22,925 to say this 'cause I don't like to equate our kinky fuckery 611 00:25:23,655 --> 00:25:26,485 power exchange life to like things as mundane 612 00:25:26,485 --> 00:25:27,725 as like making a phone call. 613 00:25:28,425 --> 00:25:32,085 But the way we both kind of procrastinate, 614 00:25:32,085 --> 00:25:33,405 like just taking some time 615 00:25:33,405 --> 00:25:35,085 and getting our kink on, even though we know we're gonna 616 00:25:35,085 --> 00:25:36,765 feel really good afterwards. 617 00:25:36,765 --> 00:25:39,165 Mm-Hmm. , I, my brain kind of goes Yeah. 618 00:25:39,195 --> 00:25:43,645 It's sort of like that ten second phone call I put off 619 00:25:43,745 --> 00:25:45,125 for a month Yeah. 620 00:25:45,155 --> 00:25:46,885 That I thought was gonna take all day 621 00:25:47,225 --> 00:25:49,845 and it really did not take any actual effort at all. 622 00:25:50,385 --> 00:25:52,445 Why the hell did I put it off for so long? 623 00:25:53,155 --> 00:25:57,205 It's, it's a similar vibe to me of why am I procrastinating, 624 00:25:57,285 --> 00:25:58,605 I procrastinate on this thing 625 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:00,365 'cause I think it's gonna require more 626 00:26:00,365 --> 00:26:01,605 effort than I have to give. 627 00:26:01,835 --> 00:26:04,965 Then I finally fucking do the thing and I go, oh no. 628 00:26:05,925 --> 00:26:08,125 I needed less effort than I thought I did. 629 00:26:08,725 --> 00:26:09,685 I don't know if that has anything to 630 00:26:09,685 --> 00:26:10,765 do with grounding or centering. 631 00:26:10,765 --> 00:26:13,165 It's just an observation. Okay. 632 00:26:13,945 --> 00:26:18,845 So this is sort of my, the part I was trying to get us 633 00:26:18,845 --> 00:26:22,325 to eventually, what is it in kink specifically? 634 00:26:22,465 --> 00:26:23,525 Mm-Hmm. that makes 635 00:26:23,525 --> 00:26:24,605 you feel grounded or centered? 636 00:26:25,225 --> 00:26:26,605 Um, I have my things. 637 00:26:26,605 --> 00:26:28,285 I had, I wrote down a list I didn't wanna forget Mm-Hmm. 638 00:26:28,325 --> 00:26:29,325 . But, um, 639 00:26:30,265 --> 00:26:33,525 - Um, I would've to say 640 00:26:36,575 --> 00:26:38,335 absolutely our, our Ds. 641 00:26:38,635 --> 00:26:42,615 Really? Yeah. Um, oddly enough, last night 642 00:26:43,755 --> 00:26:45,245 when we were going to bed 643 00:26:46,425 --> 00:26:48,285 and I needed to take a muscle relaxer, 644 00:26:48,285 --> 00:26:49,485 but I hadn't taken one mm-Hmm. 645 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:52,045 . Mm-Hmm. . And I had you go out, 646 00:26:53,285 --> 00:26:55,645 I had you get the pills, get me some drink. 647 00:26:55,665 --> 00:26:58,925 Mm-Hmm. to me that felt very empowering 648 00:26:58,925 --> 00:27:00,805 that you and my submissive were doing this for me, 649 00:27:00,875 --> 00:27:02,765 even though I was already in bed. 650 00:27:03,665 --> 00:27:07,485 - So I had a moment where I felt like very submissive. 651 00:27:07,485 --> 00:27:09,405 Mm-Hmm. . And then I had to put on the hot robe 652 00:27:09,845 --> 00:27:10,885 and go out. 653 00:27:11,085 --> 00:27:12,165 'cause I wasn't gonna walk around 654 00:27:12,165 --> 00:27:13,245 the house naked with a kid in the house. 655 00:27:13,245 --> 00:27:14,405 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Um, and 656 00:27:14,405 --> 00:27:16,005 that's when it stopped feeling submissive. 657 00:27:16,045 --> 00:27:18,285 I was like, I mean, I didn't want you to be in pain. 658 00:27:18,405 --> 00:27:19,805 I wanted you to take your medication. 659 00:27:20,155 --> 00:27:22,085 Clearly I was the one that needed to do it. 660 00:27:22,085 --> 00:27:24,565 You were like barely moving in the bed at that point. 661 00:27:25,145 --> 00:27:28,925 But the moment of, maybe for me it was 662 00:27:28,925 --> 00:27:32,485 because all my list is, is, um, doing what I'm told 663 00:27:32,485 --> 00:27:34,325 to do in, in that submissive sort of headspace. 664 00:27:34,325 --> 00:27:35,365 It does the same thing for me. 665 00:27:35,985 --> 00:27:40,365 But it's, it's strange that it's not every time, 666 00:27:41,235 --> 00:27:42,565 like as I was getting up 667 00:27:42,565 --> 00:27:44,165 and checking, okay, is it this medication? 668 00:27:44,395 --> 00:27:46,285 He's got like three or four medications. . 669 00:27:46,485 --> 00:27:47,485 I was like, which one is it? 670 00:27:48,385 --> 00:27:50,405 Um, I was feeling it and I was like, yeah. 671 00:27:50,505 --> 00:27:51,565 And then I was like, oh yeah, I need to get 672 00:27:51,565 --> 00:27:52,605 him water and I'll have to go out in the kitchen. 673 00:27:52,665 --> 00:27:54,605 But, and then I was like, why don't we have a cup in the 674 00:27:54,845 --> 00:27:56,565 bathroom for like, what are we doing here? 675 00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,805 We're heathens, I guess. I don't know. 676 00:27:59,085 --> 00:28:02,965 - . - That's, um, and, and I was like, I was in it 677 00:28:02,965 --> 00:28:04,805 and I was like, this is my purpose 678 00:28:04,865 --> 00:28:06,685 and I'm helping my daddy and this is what we do. 679 00:28:07,145 --> 00:28:10,005 And then I had to put something on to not walk around naked 680 00:28:10,145 --> 00:28:12,205 and I put on my robe as the easiest thing 681 00:28:12,225 --> 00:28:15,845 and was immediately uncomfortable as immediately decentered. 682 00:28:16,185 --> 00:28:18,525 Ah. Like I was not in the head space anymore. 683 00:28:18,765 --> 00:28:21,005 I was like, I now just want this to be over 684 00:28:21,005 --> 00:28:22,325 with as quickly as box 685 00:28:23,045 --> 00:28:24,045 - . 686 00:28:24,045 --> 00:28:24,805 Okay. Okay. 687 00:28:25,385 --> 00:28:26,685 - Now do you feel it more 688 00:28:26,965 --> 00:28:28,885 'cause me getting your medication, 689 00:28:28,885 --> 00:28:30,085 it was sort of a mutual decision. 690 00:28:30,085 --> 00:28:32,605 Mm-Hmm. you needed it. I was obviously willing 691 00:28:32,775 --> 00:28:35,125 going to, so it was our power exchange. 692 00:28:35,145 --> 00:28:36,685 But it wasn't the direct 693 00:28:37,185 --> 00:28:38,405 - No, it wasn't - Go do the thing. 694 00:28:38,825 --> 00:28:41,485 Do you get a different vibe when it's a direct thing versus 695 00:28:41,765 --> 00:28:43,925 a we're just in the middle of power exchange? 696 00:28:44,015 --> 00:28:48,725 - Definitely. But I, I think what it was last night 697 00:28:48,725 --> 00:28:50,045 that made it feel different is 698 00:28:50,045 --> 00:28:52,885 because it was out of the ordinary 699 00:28:54,105 --> 00:28:56,085 of our regular 700 00:28:56,635 --> 00:28:57,635 - Yeah. 701 00:28:57,635 --> 00:28:58,725 It wasn't our rote routine stuff. Right. 702 00:28:59,305 --> 00:29:02,405 So do you, does it center you more when it is outside of it? 703 00:29:02,545 --> 00:29:04,205 Not in the routine. That's funny 704 00:29:04,205 --> 00:29:07,605 because for me, when I'm thinking about 705 00:29:07,605 --> 00:29:09,245 what I'm doing as a submissive Mm-Hmm. 706 00:29:09,285 --> 00:29:11,205 it can be centering or grounding. 707 00:29:11,205 --> 00:29:13,045 It could be both. Uh, for me, I think it's both. 708 00:29:13,205 --> 00:29:15,765 'cause I think I'm very uncentered and ungrounded . 709 00:29:15,765 --> 00:29:17,645 Like I just think I'm floating in space . 710 00:29:18,185 --> 00:29:23,045 Um, and sometimes I, I'm sorry, 711 00:29:23,245 --> 00:29:24,725 I can't say it's always . 712 00:29:25,355 --> 00:29:28,325 Sometimes when you give the direct baby girl, I need you 713 00:29:28,325 --> 00:29:30,045 to do, go do blah, blah, blah. 714 00:29:31,465 --> 00:29:33,165 It will do that for me. I will get that. 715 00:29:33,275 --> 00:29:35,165 I'll, I'll be like, I know who I am 716 00:29:35,165 --> 00:29:36,285 and what my purpose in life is. 717 00:29:36,395 --> 00:29:37,445 Okay. Mm-Hmm. , let's go. 718 00:29:37,985 --> 00:29:40,285 Um, but sometimes it won't , 719 00:29:40,335 --> 00:29:41,885 which is very frustrating. 720 00:29:42,305 --> 00:29:44,685 You wanna know when it's not. I have a clear tell. 721 00:29:44,705 --> 00:29:46,365 You'll know every time. Okay. 722 00:29:46,985 --> 00:29:50,605 If I go, okay, Downey, or okay JB or Mm-Hmm. 723 00:29:50,645 --> 00:29:51,685 whatever. And just 724 00:29:51,685 --> 00:29:53,725 to go do the thing, I'm in the moment. 725 00:29:54,445 --> 00:29:55,965 I am as mindful as I know how to be. 726 00:29:56,045 --> 00:29:57,605 I am submissive mindset. 727 00:29:57,625 --> 00:29:59,645 - And, and, and then when you start, but, but, but, 728 00:29:59,645 --> 00:30:01,045 - But, but, or I give you a look. 729 00:30:01,075 --> 00:30:03,805 Yeah. Or I go, I have questions , 730 00:30:03,955 --> 00:30:05,565 clearly we know I'm still gonna do it. 731 00:30:05,565 --> 00:30:07,485 That's, that's the nature of who we are. . 732 00:30:07,785 --> 00:30:09,445 - But it is, but it's gonna be the long way around 733 00:30:09,445 --> 00:30:10,445 - To do it. 734 00:30:10,445 --> 00:30:10,965 Yeah. It's gonna be, yeah. 735 00:30:11,405 --> 00:30:13,765 'cause I, it something about whatever 736 00:30:13,825 --> 00:30:14,885 I'm going through in that moment. 737 00:30:15,795 --> 00:30:18,165 Yeah. I can't ground me. It can't center me. 738 00:30:18,385 --> 00:30:20,365 I'm still, you know, 739 00:30:20,735 --> 00:30:23,045 chaos incarnate, you know, . 740 00:30:24,445 --> 00:30:28,485 I don't, I'm not, I'm not thinking about myself 741 00:30:28,505 --> 00:30:29,845 as submissive at that point. 742 00:30:30,365 --> 00:30:32,485 I am all of the other things 743 00:30:33,385 --> 00:30:36,205 and all of the other chaos that comes with those things. 744 00:30:37,025 --> 00:30:40,205 And there is no, for me in that moment, there's no space 745 00:30:40,225 --> 00:30:43,565 for me to narrow in and go, I am a submissive right now. 746 00:30:43,565 --> 00:30:45,125 And that is all I have to worry about. 747 00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:47,125 And isn't this delightful? Mm-Hmm. 748 00:30:47,505 --> 00:30:50,445 So , if you, if you ever want to know what it's doing 749 00:30:50,445 --> 00:30:53,365 for me, , that that is the tell's it. 750 00:30:53,365 --> 00:30:55,285 Because sometimes when you say, 751 00:30:55,375 --> 00:30:56,765 maybe we all need you to do this thing. 752 00:30:56,765 --> 00:30:58,325 Mm-Hmm. . And I just go do it. 753 00:30:58,425 --> 00:31:02,845 It feels like I just, my purpose in life is many things. 754 00:31:03,185 --> 00:31:05,525 Mm-Hmm. , you know, I'm a fully fleshed out 755 00:31:05,525 --> 00:31:07,405 human being with all kinds of wants and needs. 756 00:31:07,465 --> 00:31:09,125 But something about getting 757 00:31:09,145 --> 00:31:10,925 to be in my submissive head space 758 00:31:11,575 --> 00:31:14,925 makes me feel like I'm living my purpose for a few seconds. 759 00:31:15,555 --> 00:31:17,525 Even though I have all kinds of other purposes. 760 00:31:18,045 --> 00:31:20,845 , the being a submissive is not, 761 00:31:22,385 --> 00:31:23,565 it doesn't stress me out 762 00:31:23,565 --> 00:31:25,005 because I literally just have 763 00:31:25,005 --> 00:31:26,605 to do the thing you said to go do. 764 00:31:26,685 --> 00:31:27,845 I don't have to think about it. I 765 00:31:27,845 --> 00:31:28,965 don't have to wonder how it's supposed to work. 766 00:31:29,125 --> 00:31:30,645 I don't have to wonder about the outcome. 767 00:31:31,045 --> 00:31:34,205 I don't have to worry about, you know, is this real? 768 00:31:34,205 --> 00:31:36,765 Like I and you, it took a while for you to get me there. 769 00:31:36,885 --> 00:31:38,205 I recall . Mm-Hmm. . 770 00:31:38,325 --> 00:31:41,085 I just have to fucking do what I'm told. Yeah. 771 00:31:41,265 --> 00:31:44,245 And what's funny is I don't wanna live that 24 7 in the, 772 00:31:44,665 --> 00:31:45,885 the micromanagement kind of way. 773 00:31:45,885 --> 00:31:47,205 Like I would get Mm-Hmm. I would 774 00:31:47,205 --> 00:31:48,525 get antsy after a while. 775 00:31:49,505 --> 00:31:52,125 And there are times I like making my own fucking decisions. 776 00:31:52,325 --> 00:31:53,725 I, we have, we, 777 00:31:54,385 --> 00:31:57,005 did we do the episode on submissives with control issues? 778 00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:59,045 I thought we did. It's all a blur. 779 00:31:59,075 --> 00:32:00,685 I'll have to look, somebody will remember. 780 00:32:00,865 --> 00:32:03,925 If we haven't, we will. Because I know that about myself. 781 00:32:04,125 --> 00:32:06,365 I like being in fucking control of so things. Mm-Hmm. 782 00:32:06,405 --> 00:32:07,605 . I like making the decisions. 783 00:32:07,605 --> 00:32:08,725 It's empowering to me. 784 00:32:09,145 --> 00:32:13,365 But man, when I get to just be your submissive Mm-Hmm. 785 00:32:13,405 --> 00:32:15,765 . I know who I am in that moment 786 00:32:15,945 --> 00:32:17,845 and everything else just falls away. 787 00:32:18,275 --> 00:32:20,565 Okay. But it's not every time. 788 00:32:21,225 --> 00:32:23,125 And I don't know what the secret sauce is. Yeah. 789 00:32:23,125 --> 00:32:25,725 Of how I get there. I just can tell. Now I'll tell you this. 790 00:32:26,865 --> 00:32:31,565 You gave me Hmm? You gave me a task the other day. 791 00:32:31,865 --> 00:32:34,645 Yes. And look, I, I've never, 792 00:32:35,145 --> 00:32:38,445 unless I'm withdrawn, consent, I've never said no to jb. 793 00:32:38,705 --> 00:32:41,245 If he assigns a task, it gets done. 794 00:32:41,955 --> 00:32:43,845 That doesn't mean I won't whine about it 795 00:32:43,955 --> 00:32:44,965 - Sometimes. No, that's true. 796 00:32:45,665 --> 00:32:48,525 - So here's the, the ironic thing. 797 00:32:48,665 --> 00:32:52,285 It was about, it's my job to fold sheets. 798 00:32:53,065 --> 00:32:55,445 JB iss, like I'm not wrestling with a fucking fitted sheet. 799 00:32:55,445 --> 00:32:57,365 Mm-Hmm. . Okay, fine. We negotiated out. 800 00:32:57,605 --> 00:32:59,285 I will, I can ball up the fitted 801 00:32:59,285 --> 00:33:00,365 sheet as well as anybody else. 802 00:33:00,595 --> 00:33:02,045 Okay. . . 803 00:33:03,385 --> 00:33:06,165 But, uh, I have a, I have a bad habit 804 00:33:06,185 --> 00:33:08,285 of those sheets will get washed, they'll get dried, 805 00:33:08,285 --> 00:33:09,445 and then they will sit in the corner 806 00:33:09,445 --> 00:33:11,205 of our bedrooms till I need 807 00:33:11,205 --> 00:33:12,445 to change sheets again. , 808 00:33:13,215 --> 00:33:14,215 - Uhhuh, . 809 00:33:14,825 --> 00:33:16,565 - And you were on a really good roll of, 810 00:33:16,565 --> 00:33:17,765 we were just getting our shit done 811 00:33:17,785 --> 00:33:19,005 and putting our laundry away. 812 00:33:19,005 --> 00:33:21,005 Mm-Hmm. and whatever. And I 813 00:33:21,875 --> 00:33:23,165 made the dumb ass choice 814 00:33:23,305 --> 00:33:26,045 to make a snide comment about the sheets. 815 00:33:26,665 --> 00:33:27,685 Oh. 'cause you had sort 816 00:33:27,685 --> 00:33:29,485 of offhand said, oh, well you could fold the sheets. 817 00:33:29,525 --> 00:33:30,685 I went, or I could just leave them sit 818 00:33:30,685 --> 00:33:31,725 in the corner for a couple weeks. 819 00:33:31,995 --> 00:33:33,125 Okay. Usually do. 820 00:33:34,265 --> 00:33:38,045 - And as soon as you said that like, no, 821 00:33:38,645 --> 00:33:39,685 I want them done by 822 00:33:40,505 --> 00:33:41,505 - Before. 823 00:33:41,505 --> 00:33:42,045 Like, whatever it was a 824 00:33:42,125 --> 00:33:42,965 Saturday or something. Mm-Hmm. . 825 00:33:42,965 --> 00:33:44,045 - So here's before the end of the day. 826 00:33:44,225 --> 00:33:45,645 - Here's what's funny. You know how I kind 827 00:33:45,645 --> 00:33:46,845 of, I didn't push back. 828 00:33:46,965 --> 00:33:51,605 I was not disobedient. I was not mouthy, but I, I I winded. 829 00:33:51,765 --> 00:33:54,805 I totally . So in that moment, there was, 830 00:33:55,045 --> 00:33:56,525 I was not feeling my, I was feeling my 831 00:33:56,525 --> 00:33:57,645 baby girl self, let's be real. 832 00:33:57,685 --> 00:33:59,045 I was feeling my sassy self. Yeah. 833 00:33:59,065 --> 00:34:00,645 But I was not feeling submissive. Right. 834 00:34:00,805 --> 00:34:01,965 I was not grounded or centered. 835 00:34:02,795 --> 00:34:05,805 When I went to go put the damn sheets away 836 00:34:05,805 --> 00:34:08,925 and fold them, roll up the fitted sheet, whatever, um, 837 00:34:10,285 --> 00:34:12,805 I did in that moment while I was doing it, 838 00:34:12,805 --> 00:34:14,645 even though like when I walked up into the bedroom, 839 00:34:14,965 --> 00:34:16,925 I was kind of going Right. 840 00:34:16,925 --> 00:34:21,765 Because I phone the sheets is so tedious. I fucking hate it. 841 00:34:22,345 --> 00:34:25,645 Um, . But one, once I was doing it 842 00:34:25,865 --> 00:34:27,485 and I knew exactly why I was doing it. 843 00:34:27,535 --> 00:34:29,445 There was only one reason I was doing it that day. 844 00:34:30,385 --> 00:34:32,405 And at that moment, in 845 00:34:32,405 --> 00:34:34,005 that moment, I was very much grounded. 846 00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:36,685 I was very much like, I know my purpose now, 847 00:34:36,865 --> 00:34:38,045 the moment I got it done 848 00:34:38,045 --> 00:34:39,525 and put away, I had that momentary 849 00:34:39,525 --> 00:34:40,845 pride in myself that I get. 850 00:34:41,145 --> 00:34:43,325 And then I, that that feeling was gone. 851 00:34:43,445 --> 00:34:45,605 - gone. Gone. Okay. Was gone. 852 00:34:47,115 --> 00:34:50,005 - Okay. So giving a command, being in our power exchange. 853 00:34:50,005 --> 00:34:51,045 Mm-Hmm. anything else like 854 00:34:52,165 --> 00:34:55,525 - Activity, you know, definitely when, you know, 855 00:34:55,775 --> 00:34:57,965 doing a scene, giving a spanking or something. 856 00:34:58,105 --> 00:34:59,725 - Is it any scene or is it specific 857 00:35:00,525 --> 00:35:01,525 - Activity? 858 00:35:01,525 --> 00:35:05,325 Um, it can be any scene. It's not any one. 859 00:35:05,825 --> 00:35:07,445 Mm-Hmm. aspect of it. 860 00:35:08,425 --> 00:35:13,325 - Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. So mine are very simple. 861 00:35:13,425 --> 00:35:15,885 Mm-Hmm. , uh, . 862 00:35:16,625 --> 00:35:18,285 So we, I didn't put it first 863 00:35:18,285 --> 00:35:19,725 for whatever reason, but this is what we were talking about. 864 00:35:19,725 --> 00:35:23,445 When you pull my hair, I mean, regardless of the sensations 865 00:35:23,555 --> 00:35:25,725 that I feel in my scalp Mm-Hmm. 866 00:35:25,765 --> 00:35:28,085 the moment I realized you've literally got 867 00:35:28,285 --> 00:35:29,525 a grip on my hair. 868 00:35:30,705 --> 00:35:33,725 I'm, I'm fucking like, pliable at that point. I'm like, you 869 00:35:33,725 --> 00:35:34,445 - Are? What do 870 00:35:34,445 --> 00:35:35,445 - You want? 871 00:35:35,445 --> 00:35:36,485 I'll do anything. You, you're, 872 00:35:36,865 --> 00:35:38,765 can I string two coherent thoughts together? 873 00:35:38,985 --> 00:35:41,925 No . But yeah. I, I'll do anything. 874 00:35:41,985 --> 00:35:43,285 I'm, I'm in, I'm there. 875 00:35:43,335 --> 00:35:45,165 There is nothing outside that moment. 876 00:35:46,205 --> 00:35:47,325 I realized this the other day, 877 00:35:47,325 --> 00:35:48,645 and I think it's why I complain. 878 00:35:48,645 --> 00:35:51,845 When you stop every time butt rubs, we, 879 00:35:51,905 --> 00:35:53,525 we know I love a good butt rub. 880 00:35:53,525 --> 00:35:57,405 Right. We, you were not feeling it. Was it last night? 881 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,965 It must've been last night you pulled my hair. 882 00:35:58,965 --> 00:36:00,845 We'd had the moment, it was the hair check after a haircut. 883 00:36:01,165 --> 00:36:02,485 . I mean, we do it every time. 884 00:36:03,345 --> 00:36:05,605 Um, um, bent over the bed 885 00:36:05,705 --> 00:36:07,005 and you're not like, you don't have the 886 00:36:07,005 --> 00:36:08,325 energy for any impact. 887 00:36:08,465 --> 00:36:09,525 Mm-Hmm. Okay. You're just rubbing my butt. 888 00:36:09,585 --> 00:36:13,525 And it was this very like, rhythmic almost. 889 00:36:13,945 --> 00:36:15,325 It wasn't quite hypnotic. 890 00:36:15,325 --> 00:36:17,965 But had you gone long enough, I'd have zoned the fuck. 891 00:36:18,565 --> 00:36:22,365 I was my world centered to this sensation 892 00:36:22,365 --> 00:36:24,765 of your warm ha hand on my ass. 893 00:36:24,905 --> 00:36:27,125 And that was all that existed. 894 00:36:28,015 --> 00:36:30,725 Which is part of why not all of, 895 00:36:30,825 --> 00:36:32,685 but part of why sometimes when you stop 896 00:36:32,765 --> 00:36:35,525 before I'm ready for you to stop, I will whine 897 00:36:35,525 --> 00:36:39,285 because I'm like, wait, this was feeling fucking amazing. 898 00:36:39,655 --> 00:36:42,365 Everything else f falls away. 899 00:36:43,385 --> 00:36:46,525 And I'm, and not only am I in a pseudo 900 00:36:46,525 --> 00:36:48,005 vulnerable position Mm-Hmm. 901 00:36:48,045 --> 00:36:50,205 . Not only am I getting the attention 902 00:36:50,365 --> 00:36:51,565 I crave for my daddy, Dom. 903 00:36:51,565 --> 00:36:56,325 Sure. , your hand is on my butt. . 904 00:36:56,545 --> 00:36:58,085 And I have, I mean, I dunno, 905 00:36:58,085 --> 00:36:59,605 your mind could be wandering, right? 906 00:36:59,725 --> 00:37:01,805 I dunno. I'm not looking at you. You, you're 907 00:37:01,805 --> 00:37:02,285 - Not. There's 908 00:37:02,285 --> 00:37:03,285 - No eye contact. 909 00:37:03,285 --> 00:37:07,005 But in that moment, what I feel is like I'm the center of 910 00:37:08,115 --> 00:37:10,805 your universe and you are, you are the center of mind. 911 00:37:10,805 --> 00:37:12,005 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . That's all I 912 00:37:12,005 --> 00:37:14,325 notice is, is what's happening. Yeah. So when 913 00:37:14,325 --> 00:37:15,925 - It's because, well, and, and that makes sense 914 00:37:15,925 --> 00:37:19,685 because at that moment we are just there. 915 00:37:19,835 --> 00:37:20,725 - Yeah. I mean, 'cause the 916 00:37:20,725 --> 00:37:21,965 connection at that point is pure fit. 917 00:37:21,965 --> 00:37:23,285 We're not even looking at one another. No. 918 00:37:23,285 --> 00:37:24,365 I mean, yes, you're looking at me, 919 00:37:24,365 --> 00:37:25,565 but I'm not looking into your eyes. 920 00:37:25,655 --> 00:37:29,405 Right. So, and there's not usually much talking's 921 00:37:29,405 --> 00:37:30,405 - Very quiet there. 922 00:37:30,405 --> 00:37:31,085 There's not much, usually not much talking. 923 00:37:31,195 --> 00:37:33,565 It's more about the, the action. Right. 924 00:37:33,755 --> 00:37:34,845 What being done. Yeah. 925 00:37:35,585 --> 00:37:38,925 - And so if you'd like to rub my butt more often, Hey, 926 00:37:38,925 --> 00:37:42,725 if you need to calm me down when I get my bedtime zoomies, 927 00:37:43,405 --> 00:37:46,205 I know the way I do have a question though. 928 00:37:46,585 --> 00:37:49,605 Mm-Hmm. , you have the past few nights, 929 00:37:49,825 --> 00:37:51,965 not every night, but over like the past couple weeks, 930 00:37:52,585 --> 00:37:54,845 you have rubbed my butt in the middle of the night. 931 00:37:55,035 --> 00:37:59,325 Yeah. Is that for you or for me? Both. What is it for you? 932 00:37:59,985 --> 00:38:04,085 - Um, believe it or not, and, and, 933 00:38:04,145 --> 00:38:05,205 and this is no surprise, 934 00:38:05,545 --> 00:38:07,205 and you know, there I wake up 935 00:38:07,425 --> 00:38:08,605 in the middle of the night. I mean, 936 00:38:08,605 --> 00:38:09,085 - Same. Yeah. 937 00:38:09,425 --> 00:38:11,605 - Um, you know, if I sleep 938 00:38:11,605 --> 00:38:14,245 through the entire night, it's a miracle. 939 00:38:14,465 --> 00:38:17,125 It, it's, it's time for celebration. Mm-Hmm. . 940 00:38:17,125 --> 00:38:20,965 Mm-Hmm. . Um, but anyway, there, 941 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:23,205 there are times, thankfully these are far 942 00:38:23,205 --> 00:38:27,445 and few between where I cannot go back to sleep. Mm 943 00:38:27,585 --> 00:38:28,585 - Mm-Hmm. 944 00:38:28,585 --> 00:38:29,045 . 945 00:38:29,725 --> 00:38:33,305 - But I have found that, uh, 946 00:38:33,305 --> 00:38:35,730 sometimes when rubbing your butt, when I come back 947 00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:38,525 to bed like that and I can't, you know, having a hard time, 948 00:38:38,865 --> 00:38:40,245 it helps quiet me and I 949 00:38:40,245 --> 00:38:42,525 - Can, so it centers you to rub my butt. 950 00:38:42,845 --> 00:38:45,365 - I get, yeah. I guess it does. Okay. 951 00:38:45,815 --> 00:38:50,125 - We're disgustingly adorable. I'm so sorry. . Okay. 952 00:38:50,385 --> 00:38:53,245 So pull my hair anytime. 953 00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:55,165 If you need me to just shut the fuck up, 954 00:38:55,165 --> 00:38:56,245 just pull my hair, you know, that. 955 00:38:56,865 --> 00:38:58,885 Rub my butt whenever you need it. 956 00:38:59,475 --> 00:39:03,605 This butt is available for you. I mean, in multiple ways. 957 00:39:03,625 --> 00:39:06,405 Mm-Hmm. Nope. That's, that's different conversation. Yeah. 958 00:39:06,465 --> 00:39:07,485 So the other one on my list, 959 00:39:07,985 --> 00:39:11,685 and it is very, it's specific, it's impact play, 960 00:39:12,465 --> 00:39:14,405 but it is the fuddy impact play. 961 00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:16,885 Like I always tell you, it felt like a deep tissue massage. 962 00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:19,685 Yeah. Because like when you've done punching, 963 00:39:19,705 --> 00:39:20,845 we did that recently. 964 00:39:20,845 --> 00:39:23,805 We needed to be quiet. And it had been a while. 965 00:39:23,805 --> 00:39:25,405 And you just, I mean, we didn't even talk about it 966 00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:27,565 because we don't, we know he knows what I like 967 00:39:27,705 --> 00:39:30,605 and he knows I'm gonna speak up if he 968 00:39:30,605 --> 00:39:31,805 picks a bad moment for something. 969 00:39:31,805 --> 00:39:32,885 Mm-Hmm. . So he just does 970 00:39:33,115 --> 00:39:35,045 what he feels like within my parameters. 971 00:39:35,545 --> 00:39:37,445 And he started doing the punching thing down my 972 00:39:37,445 --> 00:39:39,085 back, down my ass. 973 00:39:39,165 --> 00:39:42,725 I always like, you're, you're not overly rough 974 00:39:42,725 --> 00:39:44,045 with it, but always knocks my breath out. 975 00:39:44,085 --> 00:39:45,085 I fucking love that feeling. Yeah. 976 00:39:45,345 --> 00:39:48,245 Um, and that type of, 977 00:39:48,475 --> 00:39:50,685 it's the pressure, it's the rhythm. 978 00:39:50,965 --> 00:39:52,605 'cause it's usually pretty rhythmic. Mm-Hmm. . 979 00:39:52,755 --> 00:39:54,405 It's the, the deep impact. 980 00:39:54,505 --> 00:39:57,525 And I'm using punching as the example, but it can be Sure. 981 00:39:57,985 --> 00:40:01,885 Um, the way he flogs or a specific paddle or something. 982 00:40:01,885 --> 00:40:03,685 Typically what I have found is it's not too, 983 00:40:04,075 --> 00:40:06,325 it's not the loud crack kind of sound. 984 00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:10,645 It's not there, it's not always quiet impact. 985 00:40:10,645 --> 00:40:13,365 But it does tend to be a, a thud impact 986 00:40:15,025 --> 00:40:19,085 is usually quieter than a sting true burn kind of impact. 987 00:40:19,085 --> 00:40:20,325 Yeah. Not always, but usually. 988 00:40:21,025 --> 00:40:25,405 Um, and when you get into a rhythm with it, 989 00:40:26,435 --> 00:40:29,485 that is another moment where the noise 990 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:31,445 falls away, falls away. 991 00:40:31,765 --> 00:40:34,485 I am like, sort of like, I go inward 992 00:40:34,485 --> 00:40:36,005 and I'm just, I just get to exist. 993 00:40:36,155 --> 00:40:39,605 Yeah. And I get to breathe and I get to feel, 994 00:40:41,105 --> 00:40:43,965 and I'm very relaxed when you're done. 995 00:40:44,705 --> 00:40:46,445 Um, but it's 996 00:40:48,115 --> 00:40:51,565 clearly I tolerate a certain level of sting, um, 997 00:40:51,705 --> 00:40:53,325 and loud sensation and smacks. 998 00:40:53,365 --> 00:40:56,485 I mean, my favorite paddle is loud as fuck. Right. . 999 00:40:56,585 --> 00:40:58,445 It doesn't really hurt. 1000 00:40:58,445 --> 00:40:59,965 Like he has to, like, you have 1001 00:40:59,965 --> 00:41:02,285 to swing real damn hard to hurt. 1002 00:41:03,225 --> 00:41:05,965 Um, but that doesn't give me the same feeling. 1003 00:41:06,245 --> 00:41:08,485 I get the, the joy and the fun 1004 00:41:08,545 --> 00:41:12,325 and the whatever, the relaxation to a certain extent 1005 00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:13,525 of a scene that way. 1006 00:41:14,065 --> 00:41:17,285 But it's, um, I think it's the sensory experience 1007 00:41:17,285 --> 00:41:18,365 because it's loud 1008 00:41:18,825 --> 00:41:22,965 or with, with the sting sensation that maybe I'll feel 1009 00:41:22,965 --> 00:41:25,085 with something I can't get. 1010 00:41:25,845 --> 00:41:29,565 I can't block out things around me. Mm-Hmm. 1011 00:41:29,605 --> 00:41:31,885 , I am focused . 1012 00:41:33,045 --> 00:41:35,565 I am very focused on what's happening on my ass. 1013 00:41:36,265 --> 00:41:39,245 But there's all, there's sort of this unknown 1014 00:41:39,265 --> 00:41:41,045 of what's it gonna feel like next? 1015 00:41:41,145 --> 00:41:43,125 How hard will it be? And that's a fun scene. 1016 00:41:43,245 --> 00:41:45,805 I don't, I'm, this is not a complaint about that scene. 1017 00:41:45,825 --> 00:41:48,165 But those scenes don't center or ground me in the same way 1018 00:41:48,235 --> 00:41:51,645 because my mind gets to stay very active . 1019 00:41:53,665 --> 00:41:56,005 And my mind is going, okay, can, can you handle it? 1020 00:41:56,005 --> 00:41:57,325 Is, do you need to call yellow? 1021 00:41:57,585 --> 00:41:59,045 What's that next one gonna be? Oh God. 1022 00:41:59,045 --> 00:42:01,325 Is he gonna hit that same cheek for the 10th time? 1023 00:42:01,325 --> 00:42:03,725 Knowing it fucking hurts worse when you focus on 1024 00:42:03,725 --> 00:42:05,885 that one ass cheek over, like, yes. 1025 00:42:06,035 --> 00:42:08,325 Yeah, I know, I know . 1026 00:42:09,065 --> 00:42:11,605 Or it's like, or is this the moment he's gonna pull out the 1027 00:42:11,605 --> 00:42:13,045 big toy and make the big stick? 1028 00:42:13,155 --> 00:42:15,685 Like what's gonna ha And so my mind doesn't get 1029 00:42:15,685 --> 00:42:16,725 to have a good time 1030 00:42:16,825 --> 00:42:19,725 and it, there's, uh, an energy release of sorts. 1031 00:42:19,965 --> 00:42:22,565 'cause like we're getting out some aggression 1032 00:42:22,565 --> 00:42:23,605 and I get to like scream 1033 00:42:23,625 --> 00:42:25,245 and I get to have like that kind of moment. 1034 00:42:25,585 --> 00:42:28,245 But it's not a centering, grounding thing for me. 1035 00:42:28,625 --> 00:42:31,165 My brain is way too active for that. Okay. 1036 00:42:31,305 --> 00:42:34,085 And if my brain is active, that means there's room 1037 00:42:34,185 --> 00:42:35,845 for chaos, , , 1038 00:42:36,705 --> 00:42:39,765 and there's room for other thoughts to creep in, creep in 1039 00:42:39,765 --> 00:42:40,765 that aren't even about the scene. 1040 00:42:40,865 --> 00:42:45,645 Now, when you get to really go in with sensation, I do get 1041 00:42:45,645 --> 00:42:47,405 to a point where all that exists. 1042 00:42:47,465 --> 00:42:51,485 For me, is the sensation. 1043 00:42:51,545 --> 00:42:54,405 But there is still an, uh, overlying thought of, 1044 00:42:54,625 --> 00:42:55,645 can I handle this? 1045 00:42:55,905 --> 00:42:57,965 And I have to constantly check in with myself 1046 00:42:58,025 --> 00:42:59,405 of, is this too much? 1047 00:42:59,505 --> 00:43:01,165 Can I handle this? What about this next thing? 1048 00:43:01,185 --> 00:43:03,765 So I don't ever like just turn that part of me off 1049 00:43:03,765 --> 00:43:05,565 and go deep within myself 1050 00:43:05,705 --> 00:43:08,205 and like just sort of woo, saw through it. 1051 00:43:08,365 --> 00:43:10,325 , I don't get Mm-Hmm mm-Hmm. 1052 00:43:10,405 --> 00:43:11,845 the brain is too active. And I don't, 1053 00:43:12,065 --> 00:43:14,685 I'm not saying that to be grounded 1054 00:43:14,745 --> 00:43:17,125 or centered, you, your mind can't be active. 1055 00:43:17,225 --> 00:43:19,605 But for me, if the brain is active, 1056 00:43:19,605 --> 00:43:21,045 there's no centering or grounding. 1057 00:43:21,045 --> 00:43:23,525 Mm-Hmm. . Like, there's just, it's just not, 1058 00:43:23,635 --> 00:43:25,125 it's too noisy up here. 1059 00:43:25,515 --> 00:43:27,725 When it gets my brain for podcast listeners, 1060 00:43:27,875 --> 00:43:29,165 it's too noisy in my head. 1061 00:43:29,585 --> 00:43:34,565 So if noise is allowed to infiltrate, I'm, I'm not centered 1062 00:43:34,565 --> 00:43:37,245 or grounded, I might be Okay. 1063 00:43:37,685 --> 00:43:39,445 I might be functional . Mm-Hmm. . 1064 00:43:39,805 --> 00:43:42,205 I might be able to, I might be great in a crisis, 1065 00:43:42,865 --> 00:43:45,085 but, uh, nothing about me is centered or grounded. 1066 00:43:45,395 --> 00:43:48,365 Like I'm, I'm just, I'm just my little 1067 00:43:49,235 --> 00:43:52,205 chaotic mental tasmanian devil self. 1068 00:43:52,275 --> 00:43:53,645 Like I just, I just am. 1069 00:43:53,675 --> 00:43:55,645 It's just, I'm doing a thing I really enjoy 1070 00:43:55,705 --> 00:43:57,805 and I'm getting the connection with you, but the Mm-Hmm. 1071 00:43:57,845 --> 00:43:59,405 the thing, I would never describe it 1072 00:43:59,585 --> 00:44:00,965 as this being centered 1073 00:44:01,345 --> 00:44:05,285 or grounded, which is why, you know, sometimes I'm like, oh, 1074 00:44:05,605 --> 00:44:06,605 I was getting my, you know, 1075 00:44:06,635 --> 00:44:09,965 deep tissue muscle massage from this impact. 1076 00:44:10,105 --> 00:44:12,045 Oh, why did we change it up ? 1077 00:44:14,025 --> 00:44:15,485 I'm just saying if you need me to calm down, 1078 00:44:15,745 --> 00:44:17,285 - To change it up and keep you on your toes. 1079 00:44:17,805 --> 00:44:20,245 - I know. And your say is too, part of it is you want me 1080 00:44:20,245 --> 00:44:21,845 to be screaming and crying and Yes. 1081 00:44:22,305 --> 00:44:24,725 You know, saying out-of-pocket shit. Mm-Hmm. . 1082 00:44:25,365 --> 00:44:27,085 I know. And that is fun. 1083 00:44:27,085 --> 00:44:28,565 Like, I don't, I don't want it 1084 00:44:28,565 --> 00:44:30,685 to sound like the only thing I wanna do in kink is the stuff 1085 00:44:30,685 --> 00:44:31,685 that sinners grounds me. 1086 00:44:31,685 --> 00:44:33,805 No, no, no, no, no. I want that from time to time. 1087 00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:35,285 I need that Mm-Hmm. From time to time. 1088 00:44:36,025 --> 00:44:38,765 But it wouldn't be fun to me if that's all we did. Sure. 1089 00:44:38,765 --> 00:44:41,285 Like, I don't need zen moments all the damn time. 1090 00:44:41,565 --> 00:44:43,845 , like make it chaotic. I thrive. 1091 00:44:44,225 --> 00:44:46,925 Do I thrive in chaos controlled chaos. 1092 00:44:47,005 --> 00:44:50,965 I do no controlled chaos with known safe words 1093 00:44:51,025 --> 00:44:53,525 and a end and start to tie my throat 1094 00:44:54,045 --> 00:44:57,445 'cause Okay. 1095 00:44:57,655 --> 00:45:01,565 Truly in those situations, I am to the extent that we allow, 1096 00:45:01,565 --> 00:45:04,085 because safe words exist and consent exists. 1097 00:45:04,145 --> 00:45:06,605 I'm at your mercy. And that's part of the fucking fun. 1098 00:45:06,605 --> 00:45:08,165 That's the masochist in me. Mm. 1099 00:45:08,315 --> 00:45:09,685 That is the submissive in me. 1100 00:45:09,685 --> 00:45:11,205 But it's more the masochist in me. 1101 00:45:11,325 --> 00:45:13,805 'cause being at your mercy means almost 1102 00:45:13,805 --> 00:45:14,845 fucking anything can happen. 1103 00:45:15,185 --> 00:45:17,365 And I get to feel like I don't have any control. 1104 00:45:18,505 --> 00:45:21,005 But if noise is allowed to be in my head 1105 00:45:21,185 --> 00:45:23,125 and that chaotic energy is allowed to be in there. 1106 00:45:23,125 --> 00:45:24,325 Mm-Hmm. the thing I'm not, 1107 00:45:24,465 --> 00:45:25,525 is Senator grounded? 1108 00:45:25,945 --> 00:45:29,525 I'm, I'm having a good time. I am relieving stress. Mm-Hmm. 1109 00:45:29,565 --> 00:45:31,685 , right. Like, that exists 1110 00:45:31,685 --> 00:45:33,085 outside of being centered or grounded. 1111 00:45:33,235 --> 00:45:37,405 Like I can find my center and be super fucking stressed. 1112 00:45:37,955 --> 00:45:39,925 It's more that when I find that center 1113 00:45:39,945 --> 00:45:42,085 or when I get grounded, the stress exists, 1114 00:45:42,785 --> 00:45:46,085 but I can, it's not as pressing. 1115 00:45:46,315 --> 00:45:48,565 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's room to breathe. Mm-Hmm. 1116 00:45:48,605 --> 00:45:51,085 like when I, when I sort of like, yeah. 1117 00:45:52,045 --> 00:45:54,285 I, I always feel like when I have those moments of that, 1118 00:45:54,315 --> 00:45:56,685 that feeling, centering, grounding, whatever, 1119 00:45:57,175 --> 00:45:58,925 everything kinda gets real quiet. 1120 00:45:58,985 --> 00:46:00,485 Mm-Hmm. in my brain especially, 1121 00:46:00,785 --> 00:46:02,005 but it feels like it's all around me. 1122 00:46:02,005 --> 00:46:04,085 Like I'm in a bubble, a very quiet bubble 1123 00:46:04,295 --> 00:46:05,525 where I can just sort of breathe 1124 00:46:05,585 --> 00:46:08,405 and go, I know who I am, I know what I'm doing. 1125 00:46:09,395 --> 00:46:12,055 You got this bitch, you can do this. This is who you are. 1126 00:46:12,515 --> 00:46:15,495 And then it's almost like everything went into slowmo. 1127 00:46:15,675 --> 00:46:18,735 And then when I kind of realized, hey, 1128 00:46:18,795 --> 00:46:19,975 here's how I'm feeling again. 1129 00:46:20,755 --> 00:46:22,415 Um, real time speeds back up. 1130 00:46:23,515 --> 00:46:26,095 You know, that sort of, that sound effect you get 1131 00:46:26,095 --> 00:46:28,615 of it going from slow to me and it winds up that Mm-Hmm. 1132 00:46:28,655 --> 00:46:31,615 . Um, and that being centered 1133 00:46:31,675 --> 00:46:34,495 and grounded, then that feeling carries through 1134 00:46:34,675 --> 00:46:36,415 and I can handle the stress a little bit better. 1135 00:46:36,655 --> 00:46:39,495 I can, you know, the brain's not quite as foggy. 1136 00:46:39,575 --> 00:46:41,815 I can make a fucking decision, whatever, whatever. Yeah. 1137 00:46:42,195 --> 00:46:44,335 But it's in the moment that it's happening 1138 00:46:44,355 --> 00:46:46,895 and I'm, I'm having that experience of recognizing 1139 00:46:46,955 --> 00:46:49,215 or realizing something's happening 1140 00:46:49,235 --> 00:46:51,935 and the outcome is I'm feeling centered again or whatever. 1141 00:46:52,505 --> 00:46:54,135 Everything gets real quiet and slow 1142 00:46:54,565 --> 00:46:57,775 because it, it all fucking calms down up here. 1143 00:46:58,215 --> 00:47:03,135 . Uh, and that's a very rare thing, . 1144 00:47:04,395 --> 00:47:07,575 Mm-Hmm. . Um, and I, we kind of, yeah. 1145 00:47:07,575 --> 00:47:10,015 We went over me being told what to do and being, yeah. 1146 00:47:10,025 --> 00:47:12,215 Being in the head space. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. 1147 00:47:12,255 --> 00:47:15,255 actually appreciated. So yeah. 1148 00:47:15,475 --> 00:47:19,535 That's, that's me and my chaotic bullshit. Okay. 1149 00:47:19,595 --> 00:47:22,535 Uh, anything else you would say about centering, grounding, 1150 00:47:22,815 --> 00:47:24,095 kinky stuff? 1151 00:47:24,715 --> 00:47:27,015 No. Anything you would add? No. Okay. 1152 00:47:27,015 --> 00:47:29,205 You're looking a little bit more lively there. Yeah. 1153 00:47:29,315 --> 00:47:30,565 - Kind of. - I know you're not 1154 00:47:30,565 --> 00:47:31,765 feeling it, but you're looking at it. 1155 00:47:31,835 --> 00:47:35,965 Well, um, for anybody else, you know, um, 1156 00:47:36,795 --> 00:47:38,965 this conversation clearly is, is personal to us. 1157 00:47:39,165 --> 00:47:40,965 'cause it's about the things that do this for us. Mm-Hmm. 1158 00:47:41,005 --> 00:47:43,325 , you know, if you've never thought about it, 1159 00:47:43,325 --> 00:47:46,725 if you've never kind of thought about the 1160 00:47:46,725 --> 00:47:49,325 after effects of a kink moment, 1161 00:47:50,565 --> 00:47:52,125 I think it's worth the conversation 1162 00:47:52,125 --> 00:47:53,805 or the, the thought exercise 1163 00:47:53,865 --> 00:47:57,005 or thought experiment of does this, do that for me. 1164 00:47:58,145 --> 00:48:00,885 Um, if that's a feeling that you recognize 1165 00:48:00,885 --> 00:48:02,445 and that is helpful to you or that you enjoy 1166 00:48:02,465 --> 00:48:06,165 or, you know, I think that helps kind of center the, 1167 00:48:06,905 --> 00:48:08,805 the conversations you have with partners about, 1168 00:48:08,865 --> 00:48:10,005 Hey, can we do this thing? 1169 00:48:10,345 --> 00:48:13,045 You know, every kink scene doesn't have to be therapeutic. 1170 00:48:13,055 --> 00:48:15,045 Every kink scene doesn't have to be Mm-Hmm. 1171 00:48:15,085 --> 00:48:16,525 , you know, pushed to your limits. Right. 1172 00:48:16,525 --> 00:48:18,645 Every kink scene doesn't have to be grounding and centering. 1173 00:48:18,645 --> 00:48:21,685 But I think a good mix based on, you know, 1174 00:48:21,835 --> 00:48:23,525 what feels good and Sure. 1175 00:48:24,115 --> 00:48:26,285 What works for you. I, I think there's something 1176 00:48:26,345 --> 00:48:27,365 to that as well. 1177 00:48:27,565 --> 00:48:28,805 I think Mm-Hmm. , I think it's like anything, 1178 00:48:28,865 --> 00:48:31,165 if you get a whole bunch of one type of, 1179 00:48:31,415 --> 00:48:35,125 let's say in this case scene where you get one specific type 1180 00:48:35,185 --> 00:48:37,285 of experience, maybe it's pushed to your limits. 1181 00:48:37,655 --> 00:48:39,805 Maybe it's, you know, I don't know. 1182 00:48:39,805 --> 00:48:41,725 I've already forgotten what I, of the other examples I 1183 00:48:41,725 --> 00:48:42,765 use, but you all know what I mean. 1184 00:48:42,925 --> 00:48:45,525 Mm-Hmm. . I think that it's easy for things 1185 00:48:45,525 --> 00:48:47,245 to kind of be a little out of balance. 1186 00:48:47,465 --> 00:48:51,165 And I think if you figure out the different purposes, 1187 00:48:51,165 --> 00:48:52,685 different activities can servee 1188 00:48:52,685 --> 00:48:55,085 and how that feel, if it feels good to you 1189 00:48:55,665 --> 00:48:58,365 and then you find a way maybe to get a good mix of that. 1190 00:48:58,405 --> 00:49:03,285 I think that you on in general, maybe we can be, we 1191 00:49:03,285 --> 00:49:04,565 as individuals can be a little bit, 1192 00:49:04,865 --> 00:49:06,205 little bit more balanced. 1193 00:49:06,345 --> 00:49:09,045 Mm-Hmm. . And maybe, you know, this is a theory 1194 00:49:09,245 --> 00:49:11,445 'cause I don't know enough about it, but if you get more 1195 00:49:11,445 --> 00:49:14,125 opportunities to be, to feel grounded and centered 1196 00:49:14,385 --> 00:49:17,045 and to remember what the fuck that feels like, maybe 1197 00:49:17,635 --> 00:49:19,645 overall you, you feel better. 1198 00:49:19,645 --> 00:49:22,085 Even if you're not always grounded and centered. Mm-Hmm. 1199 00:49:22,165 --> 00:49:24,245 I can't, I can't imagine a life I'm always, 1200 00:49:24,505 --> 00:49:27,645 but maybe somebody out there is probably living that life 1201 00:49:28,845 --> 00:49:29,845 - Couldn't - Be me. 1202 00:49:29,845 --> 00:49:30,725 Y'all couldn't be me . 1203 00:49:30,945 --> 00:49:32,365 Not without probably some medication. 1204 00:49:32,505 --> 00:49:34,085 That's what I'm saying. Um, 1205 00:49:34,425 --> 00:49:35,805 but yeah, I think, I think 1206 00:49:35,805 --> 00:49:37,605 that's all I have to say about that. 1207 00:49:38,825 --> 00:49:41,005 Um, all right. So yeah. 1208 00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:44,845 - Okay. So, uh, are we good ? 1209 00:49:46,235 --> 00:49:51,205 - That is not for me to say. - Keep it, keep the kinky all. 1210 00:49:51,705 --> 00:49:53,125 - Oh, we'll see you next week actually. 1211 00:49:53,125 --> 00:49:53,925 Hopefully we'll see you Friday. 1212 00:50:04,455 --> 00:50:05,455 Daddy. 1213 00:50:05,865 --> 00:50:09,965 - Yes baby girl. - We talked to the crickets. 1214 00:50:10,315 --> 00:50:12,085 - Yeah. - How are you feeling? 1215 00:50:12,905 --> 00:50:14,245 - Um, I'm here. 1216 00:50:14,725 --> 00:50:16,645 - I know. Hey, you held your own in that. 1217 00:50:17,125 --> 00:50:19,205 I mean, did I treat it like I was interviewing you? Yes. 1218 00:50:19,205 --> 00:50:21,245 Yeah. But I get a lot more out of you when I do that. 1219 00:50:21,395 --> 00:50:23,085 - True, true. Especially 1220 00:50:24,425 --> 00:50:25,525 - See there are some topics 1221 00:50:25,575 --> 00:50:27,525 where I have very strong, clear opinions. 1222 00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:28,845 Mm-Hmm. . And I want to make sure we share 1223 00:50:29,585 --> 00:50:30,925 my opinions, your opinions, whatever. 1224 00:50:30,925 --> 00:50:32,205 Yeah. And then there are some things where I'm, 1225 00:50:32,245 --> 00:50:34,005 I feel like are exploring Mm-Hmm. 1226 00:50:34,045 --> 00:50:35,205 the topic. Yeah. I don don't 1227 00:50:35,205 --> 00:50:36,365 have clear opinions. 1228 00:50:36,525 --> 00:50:37,685 'cause it's like, hey wait, 1229 00:50:37,845 --> 00:50:39,885 I think I've just figured this out about myself. 1230 00:50:40,105 --> 00:50:41,725 And so then I wanna know like, ha 1231 00:50:42,065 --> 00:50:46,405 and I love you so much, you will tell me almost anything, 1232 00:50:47,225 --> 00:50:50,205 but only if I ask a direct question. 1233 00:50:50,605 --> 00:50:54,565 . So it's just easier to like interview you 1234 00:50:54,805 --> 00:50:55,805 - . 1235 00:50:55,805 --> 00:50:57,925 Okay. Okay. Alright. Alright. Now. 1236 00:50:58,145 --> 00:51:01,485 And I just wanted to say, um, you ask Bunny, um, 1237 00:51:03,725 --> 00:51:05,805 a hyper JB is not a good thing. 1238 00:51:06,385 --> 00:51:08,005 Um, ask, ask this one. 1239 00:51:08,145 --> 00:51:10,805 - No, we cannot. - Um, hyper for me is, 1240 00:51:10,985 --> 00:51:12,485 is pacing and hovering. 1241 00:51:12,955 --> 00:51:14,965 - Yeah. And it's very stressful. Yeah. 1242 00:51:14,965 --> 00:51:17,245 Like, he's not, he's not a fun hyper Mm-Hmm. 1243 00:51:17,275 --> 00:51:21,765 He's not, if he's excited that energy can be similar 1244 00:51:22,185 --> 00:51:25,765 to hyper, but it's, you can tell he is excited 1245 00:51:25,785 --> 00:51:27,125 and you kind of get excited with him 1246 00:51:27,125 --> 00:51:29,965 and it's the, it's, his joy is infectious, 1247 00:51:30,865 --> 00:51:34,765 but man, when it's the hyper, like, doesn't know what 1248 00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:35,725 to do with himself kind of 1249 00:51:35,725 --> 00:51:36,805 energy. Mm-Hmm. . Oh lord. No, 1250 00:51:36,805 --> 00:51:37,805 - I'm like that. 1251 00:51:37,805 --> 00:51:38,405 That's a bad thing. Yeah. 1252 00:51:38,545 --> 00:51:40,125 - I'm like, I love you so much, I need you 1253 00:51:40,125 --> 00:51:41,325 to go have a seat somewhere now. 1254 00:51:41,465 --> 00:51:43,205 And why he's not saying the same shit 1255 00:51:43,205 --> 00:51:44,765 to me when I get , part 1256 00:51:44,765 --> 00:51:47,605 of it's my hyperactivity is primarily in my head. 1257 00:51:48,035 --> 00:51:50,925 Like it can manifest physically, you'll Mm-Hmm. 1258 00:51:50,965 --> 00:51:53,165 . But it's primarily with the, with the brain 1259 00:51:53,165 --> 00:51:54,765 and 85 tabs open at once. 1260 00:51:54,765 --> 00:51:59,365 Yeah. Um, so yeah. 1261 00:52:02,175 --> 00:52:06,755 But no, I, um, I'm, I'm proud 1262 00:52:06,755 --> 00:52:08,635 of you for the record. 1263 00:52:08,835 --> 00:52:12,555 I don't ever ask JB to do these when he's not feeling well. 1264 00:52:12,695 --> 00:52:15,315 We will cancel. A stream will not record. 1265 00:52:16,175 --> 00:52:20,115 But over the years, the joke is, 1266 00:52:20,155 --> 00:52:21,235 I, I roped you into this. 1267 00:52:21,275 --> 00:52:22,915 I pulled you into this kicking and screaming. 1268 00:52:23,215 --> 00:52:26,515 And yet when I've been the one to go, are you feeling okay? 1269 00:52:26,515 --> 00:52:28,795 Should we do this? He's like, we're recording. 1270 00:52:29,705 --> 00:52:32,395 - Okay. - Shit. I'm not getting in the way of that 1271 00:52:32,755 --> 00:52:33,755 - . 1272 00:52:34,055 --> 00:52:35,235 So, yeah. 1273 00:52:36,225 --> 00:52:37,875 - Okay. Uh, 1274 00:52:39,055 --> 00:52:43,075 - And, uh, yeah, Kim Kim's, uh, power of 1275 00:52:43,585 --> 00:52:44,875 folding fitted sheets. 1276 00:52:45,545 --> 00:52:46,915 It's, that is witchcraft. It 1277 00:52:46,915 --> 00:52:47,915 - Is witchcraft. 1278 00:52:47,915 --> 00:52:49,235 That, that is, I have watched so many reels 1279 00:52:49,295 --> 00:52:50,515 of people showing 1280 00:52:50,535 --> 00:52:52,395 how it's a couple different methods I've seen. 1281 00:52:52,395 --> 00:52:54,755 Mm. Primarily of properly air quote 1282 00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:56,195 that folding a fitted sheet. 1283 00:52:56,195 --> 00:52:58,915 Yeah. And I'm just like that, that's magic. I, Nope. 1284 00:52:59,475 --> 00:53:01,315 I can get to the part where you kinda stretch it out 1285 00:53:01,315 --> 00:53:02,475 and you kind of fold it on itself. 1286 00:53:02,475 --> 00:53:04,395 Mm-Hmm. . And then the first time I like 1287 00:53:05,065 --> 00:53:08,675 fold the first half together, it's chaos at the bottom. 1288 00:53:08,955 --> 00:53:10,315 'cause it's not like a perfect square rectangle. 1289 00:53:10,495 --> 00:53:13,595 And I just kind of like mush it together a little bit. 1290 00:53:14,025 --> 00:53:18,035 Roll it up and then smooth out like the top so it looks 1291 00:53:18,665 --> 00:53:21,595 like kind of rectangle shape and we move the fuck on. 1292 00:53:21,655 --> 00:53:24,275 We just move the fuck on. I do not. 1293 00:53:24,475 --> 00:53:29,075 I, no, no. So, 1294 00:53:29,385 --> 00:53:30,715 - Well, you know, it's funny, I I, 1295 00:53:31,115 --> 00:53:33,035 I came across a reel one day 1296 00:53:34,465 --> 00:53:38,165 and this woman was like, I'm going to show you how 1297 00:53:38,165 --> 00:53:40,925 to easily, I forget what show you're talking about. 1298 00:53:41,225 --> 00:53:45,925 And, and, you know, quickly fold a fitted sheet. Mm-Hmm. 1299 00:53:45,965 --> 00:53:47,885 , you know, and she's, she's talking about this 1300 00:53:47,885 --> 00:53:49,885 process and she's got the sheet there in front of her. 1301 00:53:50,945 --> 00:53:54,925 And, um, I'm thinking to myself, alright, finally , 1302 00:53:54,925 --> 00:53:57,405 finally, finally gonna, I know. 1303 00:53:57,505 --> 00:53:59,325 See how this is done. She picked it up 1304 00:53:59,325 --> 00:54:01,325 and just . Okay. 1305 00:54:02,025 --> 00:54:04,245 - You just, you shove it together. 1306 00:54:04,745 --> 00:54:06,645 - Yep. You just shove it together 1307 00:54:07,065 --> 00:54:09,085 - And just then shove it in a dark corner 1308 00:54:09,095 --> 00:54:10,765 where you do not have to think about it again 1309 00:54:10,765 --> 00:54:12,125 until you need to change your sheets. 1310 00:54:12,445 --> 00:54:14,645 - . - That's okay. 1311 00:54:14,705 --> 00:54:18,245 We are, we've had to, to slowly replace our sheets. Yeah. 1312 00:54:18,465 --> 00:54:21,805 We had beautiful dark, like, 1313 00:54:22,045 --> 00:54:23,845 I don't know if it was more plumb or more eggplant, 1314 00:54:23,845 --> 00:54:28,405 but a dark jewel toned purple sheets that we had for Mm-Hmm. 1315 00:54:28,445 --> 00:54:31,925 fucking years. They fell apart. 1316 00:54:31,925 --> 00:54:34,845 They look, I used shit to it disintegrates in my hand. 1317 00:54:34,995 --> 00:54:38,085 That is how I ended up with a air quote, 1318 00:54:38,085 --> 00:54:40,605 rolling laundry basket that was missing a wheel 1319 00:54:40,605 --> 00:54:42,365 and part of the handle to the lid 1320 00:54:42,835 --> 00:54:44,165 that I had had from college. 1321 00:54:44,355 --> 00:54:47,205 Okay. . Like, I used shit to lip falls apart. 1322 00:54:47,345 --> 00:54:49,165 Not because I'm environmentally minded, but 1323 00:54:49,165 --> 00:54:50,485 because I've been broke my whole life. 1324 00:54:51,025 --> 00:54:55,765 So we used these beautiful purple sheets until like 1325 00:54:56,285 --> 00:54:57,325 a little part on my side 1326 00:54:57,325 --> 00:54:58,685 of the bed just started disintegrating 1327 00:54:58,685 --> 00:55:00,285 and unraveling and like Mm-Hmm. 1328 00:55:00,325 --> 00:55:01,445 within a couple 1329 00:55:01,445 --> 00:55:04,925 of nights it was this massive tear down sheet. 1330 00:55:05,525 --> 00:55:07,405 I went, okay, well I guess we have to get new sheets. 1331 00:55:07,515 --> 00:55:08,725 Well, we went looking for sheets 1332 00:55:08,745 --> 00:55:09,965 at a price we were willing to pay. 1333 00:55:10,065 --> 00:55:11,965 Can you get any color, any thread count 1334 00:55:11,965 --> 00:55:13,045 sheet if you're willing to pay for it? 1335 00:55:13,075 --> 00:55:14,765 Sure. I don't have that kind of budget. 1336 00:55:15,425 --> 00:55:20,365 So we're in Sam's Club and Queen Sheets were like decent 1337 00:55:20,465 --> 00:55:21,485 and they felt soft enough 1338 00:55:21,485 --> 00:55:23,925 and they weren't too scratchy for like 40 bucks. 1339 00:55:24,125 --> 00:55:27,445 I was like, great. Not, not a lick of fucking purple. 1340 00:55:28,005 --> 00:55:29,885 I was like, oh. So we got silvery ones 1341 00:55:30,365 --> 00:55:33,045 'cause we are, other sheets are like this gray silver color. 1342 00:55:33,845 --> 00:55:35,965 I was like, okay, we're still kind of in my color scheme. 1343 00:55:36,425 --> 00:55:40,325 My, our duvet is purple. Like, but I need purple sheets. 1344 00:55:40,425 --> 00:55:43,405 Mm-Hmm. . Well now the original dark silver 1345 00:55:43,635 --> 00:55:45,085 gray sheets are starting 1346 00:55:45,225 --> 00:55:48,485 to disintegrate this time on JBS side, ironically. 1347 00:55:49,145 --> 00:55:51,685 And so I'm like, we have to buy new sheets at some point, 1348 00:55:51,865 --> 00:55:54,405 but we don't have purple sheets. 1349 00:55:54,875 --> 00:55:56,605 What is happening here? . 1350 00:55:56,945 --> 00:55:58,445 So I've gone on a search online, 1351 00:55:58,545 --> 00:56:00,245 but the problem is nobody seems 1352 00:56:00,245 --> 00:56:02,645 to be carrying purple sheets in store 1353 00:56:02,645 --> 00:56:04,245 where I can put my hand on them and go 1354 00:56:04,345 --> 00:56:05,725 and see how is this a texture? 1355 00:56:05,925 --> 00:56:07,205 I will, I can sleep on. 1356 00:56:07,205 --> 00:56:08,845 Because if it's too fucking scratchy, 1357 00:56:09,305 --> 00:56:10,525 I'm not gonna be able to sleep. 1358 00:56:11,305 --> 00:56:12,305 I'm not gonna be able to sleep. 1359 00:56:15,235 --> 00:56:19,405 - Yeah. - Mr. Spock wants to know. 1360 00:56:19,565 --> 00:56:21,605 Speaking of eggplants, will Sir Richard be 1361 00:56:21,605 --> 00:56:22,725 making an appearance on Friday? 1362 00:56:23,205 --> 00:56:25,525 I don't know. That's usually j b's domain. 1363 00:56:25,625 --> 00:56:28,845 He he handles, he handles the penises. . Yeah. 1364 00:56:28,845 --> 00:56:31,245 That, that's accurate. On so many levels. 1365 00:56:34,585 --> 00:56:36,365 You enjoy handling penises. So it works. 1366 00:56:36,565 --> 00:56:37,765 I mean, I enjoy handling penises. 1367 00:56:37,765 --> 00:56:39,445 That's the thing we have in common. . 1368 00:56:39,985 --> 00:56:44,725 But, so, uh, Kim, 1369 00:56:44,845 --> 00:56:46,525 I believe you found your new freelance career. 1370 00:56:46,735 --> 00:56:48,125 Kim's like, wait, y'all will pay 1371 00:56:48,125 --> 00:56:49,645 me to fold your damn sheets. Yes. 1372 00:56:50,625 --> 00:56:54,885 - Yes. But okay, I'm gonna leave you for a 1373 00:56:54,885 --> 00:56:55,885 - Minute. 1374 00:56:55,885 --> 00:56:56,045 You gonna wander away? I have 1375 00:56:56,045 --> 00:56:57,525 to like keep this going by myself. 1376 00:56:57,745 --> 00:57:02,325 Yes. Yeah. 1377 00:57:02,425 --> 00:57:03,685 So we're on the hunt for sheets. 1378 00:57:03,685 --> 00:57:05,125 We got, we gotta get a new set of sheets. 1379 00:57:05,185 --> 00:57:07,285 We only have a couple of sets. 1380 00:57:07,645 --> 00:57:11,485 'cause I'm so picky about both color and how it feels. And 1381 00:57:12,615 --> 00:57:13,615 - We've - Always been broke. 1382 00:57:13,615 --> 00:57:15,325 We needed to buy sheets. So it's like, yeah, 1383 00:57:15,345 --> 00:57:18,765 we found purple, but we like it was the only one 1384 00:57:18,785 --> 00:57:20,285 or we couldn't, whatever. 1385 00:57:20,285 --> 00:57:22,485 We couldn't get a second set. So, 1386 00:57:24,145 --> 00:57:28,855 - But - What else? 1387 00:57:30,195 --> 00:57:32,975 Mostly just been working. I mean, that's what we do. 1388 00:57:33,595 --> 00:57:36,535 Um, mentioned earlier I did get my hair cut off. No. Yeah. 1389 00:57:36,535 --> 00:57:37,615 I got my hair cut off. 1390 00:57:37,935 --> 00:57:41,415 I cut out all the color so I could like not have 1391 00:57:41,415 --> 00:57:43,695 to worry about, I haven't been maintaining the color. 1392 00:57:43,935 --> 00:57:46,135 I will go back to color at some point just now. Right now. 1393 00:57:46,835 --> 00:57:48,215 Um, but I think I'm gonna try 1394 00:57:48,215 --> 00:57:49,215 and grow my hair out a little bit. 1395 00:57:49,455 --> 00:57:51,615 I was reminded about why it had been 1396 00:57:51,615 --> 00:57:52,895 so long since I'd had longer hair. 1397 00:57:53,195 --> 00:57:55,775 It was a sensory nightmare, y'all. 1398 00:57:55,775 --> 00:57:57,495 It was a sensory nightmare. 1399 00:57:57,955 --> 00:58:01,495 Um, I could, when I had to feel it on my, like my shoulders 1400 00:58:01,515 --> 00:58:04,695 and my neck, I was constantly like sort of shrugging. 1401 00:58:04,695 --> 00:58:07,615 So I was always pulling it up. Um, at night. 1402 00:58:07,675 --> 00:58:10,695 Now that I have a second fan that just blows on me. 1403 00:58:11,115 --> 00:58:15,055 Um, it was blowing my hair into my face and around my face 1404 00:58:15,075 --> 00:58:16,975 and I was actually waking up because , 1405 00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:19,855 because of the little feelings of hair, 1406 00:58:20,045 --> 00:58:21,735 like on my forehead and on my cheeks. 1407 00:58:21,735 --> 00:58:25,855 It was like, ah. Um, so I don't think I'm gonna grow it out 1408 00:58:26,535 --> 00:58:28,455 long-ish again, 1409 00:58:28,835 --> 00:58:29,895 but I don't think I'm gonna keep it 1410 00:58:29,915 --> 00:58:31,135 as short as it is either. 1411 00:58:31,335 --> 00:58:32,495 I don't know what I'm doing. 1412 00:58:33,435 --> 00:58:37,295 So yeah, I didn't really notice, you know, any 1413 00:58:37,295 --> 00:58:39,375 of the effects of the things I don't like 1414 00:58:39,375 --> 00:58:40,535 about having long hair in the winter. 1415 00:58:40,775 --> 00:58:42,975 I mean, I wasn't overly comfortable, 1416 00:58:42,975 --> 00:58:44,135 but I wasn't uncomfortable. 1417 00:58:44,715 --> 00:58:46,895 Man, once this heat hit, I was like, I'm, I'm done. 1418 00:58:47,075 --> 00:58:48,255 I'm done with it. I'm done with it. 1419 00:58:49,235 --> 00:58:52,775 But the, um, the person who does my hair, she was, 1420 00:58:53,075 --> 00:58:55,975 she didn't like, I was so afraid. 1421 00:58:56,215 --> 00:58:58,255 I was like mentally preparing conversations for 1422 00:58:58,255 --> 00:58:59,535 how I was gonna answer and she's like, oh, 1423 00:58:59,535 --> 00:59:00,655 you don't wanna color your hair anymore. 1424 00:59:01,745 --> 00:59:02,935 Thankfully she didn't do that. 1425 00:59:02,935 --> 00:59:04,095 She's like, okay, we'll cut it off. 1426 00:59:04,275 --> 00:59:06,735 And I was like, don't worry. We, I will color it again. 1427 00:59:06,735 --> 00:59:08,615 I just don't know when. And I will start 1428 00:59:08,645 --> 00:59:11,495 with the hot pink magenta when I go back to vivids. 1429 00:59:11,695 --> 00:59:13,895 Hmm. Because that was the one color I didn't get to try. 1430 00:59:14,575 --> 00:59:16,015 I, there will come a day. 1431 00:59:16,295 --> 00:59:19,375 I don't know when I make no promises as to when . 1432 00:59:19,795 --> 00:59:21,765 Um, but yeah. So 1433 00:59:23,915 --> 00:59:24,915 - Yeah. 1434 00:59:27,305 --> 00:59:28,645 - Um, what else? 1435 00:59:29,625 --> 00:59:32,365 Uh, I think eighth grade is going to last for fucking ever. 1436 00:59:32,905 --> 00:59:34,765 Yes. We're almost done with eighth grade math. 1437 00:59:34,965 --> 00:59:36,605 I think I talked about that previously. 1438 00:59:36,605 --> 00:59:38,005 We have to finish eighth grade math 1439 00:59:38,065 --> 00:59:39,365 to stay with the same teacher. 1440 00:59:40,285 --> 00:59:42,165 I feel like I told somebody that. I think I told y'all that. 1441 00:59:42,165 --> 00:59:43,645 Me, I know I told you that. . Okay. 1442 00:59:43,985 --> 00:59:46,125 But I thought I talked about street. I don't remember. 1443 00:59:46,405 --> 00:59:48,085 I don't remember. Um, so we're gonna 1444 00:59:48,085 --> 00:59:49,125 finish that up this week. 1445 00:59:50,015 --> 00:59:53,525 Thank God for small favors. Um, but he still has three. 1446 00:59:53,785 --> 00:59:55,485 The 14-year-old still has three other classes 1447 00:59:56,825 --> 01:00:00,805 and um, we'll be lucky if he gets them done in June. 1448 01:00:01,065 --> 01:00:02,405 One is just a very long class. 1449 01:00:02,405 --> 01:00:04,525 There's just a lot of assignments to that class. 1450 01:00:05,025 --> 01:00:07,005 The other two he's procrastinating on. 1451 01:00:07,545 --> 01:00:09,565 So I, I was trying to explain to him when we, 1452 01:00:09,715 --> 01:00:10,925 he's gonna still do homeschool 1453 01:00:10,925 --> 01:00:12,205 for high school, at least for ninth grade. 1454 01:00:12,705 --> 01:00:15,645 Um, and I, we're gonna switch curriculums out 1455 01:00:15,645 --> 01:00:17,725 so maybe I can get a little bit more control over it 1456 01:00:18,105 --> 01:00:19,965 and get something maybe better tailored 1457 01:00:20,065 --> 01:00:21,165 to his learning style. 1458 01:00:22,425 --> 01:00:26,005 But, um, I explained to him he was hating ELA. 1459 01:00:26,005 --> 01:00:27,405 He was like, I have to write all these papers 1460 01:00:27,465 --> 01:00:28,645 and there's all this reading. 1461 01:00:28,785 --> 01:00:30,685 Oh, his current, um, 1462 01:00:30,685 --> 01:00:32,365 they call the modules his current module. 1463 01:00:32,385 --> 01:00:33,685 He will read a whole book 1464 01:00:33,705 --> 01:00:34,965 by the time he is doing the module. 1465 01:00:35,065 --> 01:00:37,725 And he is pissed. I'm like, you used to love reading 1466 01:00:37,755 --> 01:00:38,845 what is going on here? 1467 01:00:39,405 --> 01:00:41,365 I think it's that he doesn't like being told what he has 1468 01:00:41,365 --> 01:00:44,525 to read and he can only choose from like five, five 1469 01:00:44,525 --> 01:00:46,445 or six books and none of them sound. 1470 01:00:46,505 --> 01:00:48,885 He was like, none of them die at the end. 1471 01:00:49,005 --> 01:00:51,005 I only wanna read it if they're all gonna die at the end. 1472 01:00:51,025 --> 01:00:54,685 And I was like, well there is one book in this list where, 1473 01:00:55,375 --> 01:00:56,805 where they die in the end. 1474 01:00:56,865 --> 01:00:59,045 And I'm not gonna say which one that is 1475 01:00:59,205 --> 01:01:01,045 'cause that is definitely insensitive. 1476 01:01:01,185 --> 01:01:03,085 But he didn't pick that one either. 1477 01:01:03,405 --> 01:01:05,605 , I think he didn't really wanna read 1478 01:01:05,605 --> 01:01:06,845 about somebody dying at the end. 1479 01:01:06,925 --> 01:01:08,645 I think he was just being like, he was just pissed. 1480 01:01:09,505 --> 01:01:12,285 But I, it was like, dude, you think it's bad 1481 01:01:12,285 --> 01:01:14,805 that in this one section of this class 1482 01:01:15,035 --> 01:01:17,365 that you've done the whole year's worth so far, 1483 01:01:17,665 --> 01:01:18,685 you have to read a book. 1484 01:01:18,885 --> 01:01:20,685 I said, wait till high school English. 1485 01:01:20,685 --> 01:01:23,125 There's not a curriculum I'm gonna find for you 1486 01:01:23,125 --> 01:01:25,525 that does not require you to read books 1487 01:01:25,705 --> 01:01:26,805 and then write about them. 1488 01:01:26,955 --> 01:01:28,045 This is your life. 1489 01:01:28,805 --> 01:01:31,925 I will try to find curriculum that gives us control 1490 01:01:32,505 --> 01:01:33,965 either over what you read 1491 01:01:34,265 --> 01:01:37,925 or offer something other than fucking Animal Farm 1492 01:01:37,925 --> 01:01:39,045 in the Great Gatsby. 1493 01:01:40,475 --> 01:01:43,565 Like I'll do my best, but you're gonna have to read. 1494 01:01:43,565 --> 01:01:45,045 And I'm just like, I don't know if I can do four years 1495 01:01:45,185 --> 01:01:46,725 of fighting this job Hmm. 1496 01:01:46,785 --> 01:01:49,405 On reading a book and writing about it. 1497 01:01:51,585 --> 01:01:51,805 - So, 1498 01:01:57,745 --> 01:01:59,125 - But yeah. 1499 01:01:59,585 --> 01:02:01,325 I'm, uh, I'm ready for, for us both 1500 01:02:01,325 --> 01:02:02,725 to have a summer break things . 1501 01:02:02,845 --> 01:02:03,965 I don't think I'm gonna know what to do 1502 01:02:03,965 --> 01:02:07,005 with all my time when I'm not thinking about school. 1503 01:02:07,245 --> 01:02:08,365 I do. I do . 1504 01:02:08,605 --> 01:02:10,925 I know we gonna fuck around more . I know. 1505 01:02:11,435 --> 01:02:15,405 What are we gonna do? Please tell me about this magical, 1506 01:02:15,965 --> 01:02:19,445 mystical, mythical thing that's gonna happen. 1507 01:02:19,695 --> 01:02:24,365 Right. I'm actually, depending on how late he goes 1508 01:02:24,385 --> 01:02:26,765 before he, he ends his, uh, 1509 01:02:28,005 --> 01:02:29,045 official eighth grade school year. 1510 01:02:29,305 --> 01:02:30,685 I'm, I may, I told him, I was like, 1511 01:02:30,725 --> 01:02:33,365 I might let you be like non southern states. 1512 01:02:33,665 --> 01:02:35,805 You might get to start after Labor Day . 1513 01:02:36,365 --> 01:02:39,685 I want the 10 week break. Thank you very much. . 1514 01:02:39,725 --> 01:02:44,325 I know, but so yeah. 1515 01:02:48,945 --> 01:02:50,125 Oh, I didn't see this. Mr. 1516 01:02:50,125 --> 01:02:52,045 Fist asked how much money do we need to put together 1517 01:02:52,045 --> 01:02:53,605 for JB to dye his hair? 1518 01:02:54,285 --> 01:02:55,805 - I don't have enough hair. - Oh. 1519 01:02:55,825 --> 01:02:57,725 We can bleach the shit out of it. . 1520 01:02:58,505 --> 01:03:00,685 And then we can make it a color or multiple colors. 1521 01:03:01,125 --> 01:03:04,085 I, we, we meaning I would ask the person 1522 01:03:04,105 --> 01:03:05,685 who does my hair to do that for you. 1523 01:03:05,785 --> 01:03:08,445 You don't want me coming at you with color? We could. 1524 01:03:08,445 --> 01:03:10,565 What if we just did your beard? People do that. 1525 01:03:10,565 --> 01:03:12,725 They'll dye their beard. Hmm. 1526 01:03:12,955 --> 01:03:14,445 Rainbow colors 1527 01:03:16,465 --> 01:03:19,565 or the, the pan, uh, pride flag 1528 01:03:20,145 --> 01:03:22,125 for pride month. You could do that. 1529 01:03:23,045 --> 01:03:25,965 - Hmm. - I mean, they do temporary, they do temp, 1530 01:03:25,965 --> 01:03:28,165 they do temporary bright colors. 1531 01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:29,485 I'm sure. I don't know. 1532 01:03:29,885 --> 01:03:33,485 I I pay a very nice young woman to do my hair . 1533 01:03:33,535 --> 01:03:36,445 There is a 20 year age gap between us. 1534 01:03:36,545 --> 01:03:38,325 We do not speak the same language. 1535 01:03:38,905 --> 01:03:41,925 Um, it helps, well, you know, it helps that the oldest in 1536 01:03:42,145 --> 01:03:44,805 - Her generation, I would, I would actually consider mm-Hmm. 1537 01:03:44,845 --> 01:03:47,525 doing the pride colors of the pan. 1538 01:03:47,525 --> 01:03:48,685 Mm-Hmm. . Okay. 1539 01:03:48,705 --> 01:03:51,605 - In your beard. - If we lived in Tampa Bay area, 1540 01:03:52,405 --> 01:03:54,285 - I know living here it would be here. 1541 01:03:55,515 --> 01:03:57,725 Yeah. I mean, you're married to me. 1542 01:03:57,825 --> 01:04:00,245 You don't, you don't leave the house as often 1543 01:04:00,385 --> 01:04:01,445 as you used to. 1544 01:04:01,785 --> 01:04:04,005 And when you do, it's mostly to go to munches. 1545 01:04:04,755 --> 01:04:06,925 - Yeah. - You know, you just could never go 1546 01:04:06,925 --> 01:04:07,965 to Aldi with me again. 1547 01:04:08,145 --> 01:04:10,165 At least not in June. And that is awful. 1548 01:04:10,385 --> 01:04:11,685 It should not fucking be that way. 1549 01:04:11,685 --> 01:04:13,965 People should just mind their own fucking business if they 1550 01:04:13,965 --> 01:04:15,125 don't like what the hell they see. 1551 01:04:15,125 --> 01:04:16,485 Yeah. But that's not the world we live 1552 01:04:16,485 --> 01:04:17,645 in and we know that. Yeah. 1553 01:04:17,925 --> 01:04:19,685 - I mean I I I was very 1554 01:04:20,245 --> 01:04:24,085 disappointed when I saw a news article just 1555 01:04:24,085 --> 01:04:27,205 before we started this, um, 1556 01:04:29,105 --> 01:04:30,565 in, in the Tampa Bay area. 1557 01:04:31,205 --> 01:04:33,045 I don't know how many y'all are familiar with the, 1558 01:04:33,045 --> 01:04:34,205 with the Skyway Bridge. 1559 01:04:34,945 --> 01:04:36,325 Um, it connects 1560 01:04:38,335 --> 01:04:39,845 - Tampa - To Tampa to, 1561 01:04:40,105 --> 01:04:42,805 or actually Pinellas to, um, Hillsborough, 1562 01:04:42,825 --> 01:04:44,245 - But basically - No, south Florida. 1563 01:04:45,505 --> 01:04:46,685 Oh, does it going, going into 1564 01:04:46,685 --> 01:04:48,085 Bradenton and those areas. Really? 1565 01:04:48,145 --> 01:04:50,125 - Yes. Okay. Oh, I thought of connect. 1566 01:04:50,125 --> 01:04:51,405 Oh, I'm thinking of a different bridge. Sorry. 1567 01:04:51,465 --> 01:04:54,965 - And, and this year, for the first time, 1568 01:04:55,225 --> 01:04:59,365 for the first time since they've started Pride, um, 1569 01:04:59,465 --> 01:05:03,445 the Skyway Bridge will not be lit up with the pride colors. 1570 01:05:03,955 --> 01:05:07,565 - Some - Bullshit. Yep. Some bullshit. Yep. 1571 01:05:09,355 --> 01:05:13,085 - Look, if it made financial sense to do it, 1572 01:05:13,245 --> 01:05:14,365 I probably could be talking 1573 01:05:14,425 --> 01:05:16,805 to moving outta Florida sometimes. Yeah. I 1574 01:05:16,805 --> 01:05:17,805 - Really good. 1575 01:05:17,805 --> 01:05:19,845 Unfortunately that, that's why a lot of people are, 1576 01:05:20,005 --> 01:05:21,365 I know leaving there is, there's a lot 1577 01:05:21,365 --> 01:05:22,445 of people who are very fearful. 1578 01:05:22,985 --> 01:05:24,925 Mm-Hmm. with the things going on. 1579 01:05:25,075 --> 01:05:28,685 - Problem is, is the more affordable areas are, 1580 01:05:28,865 --> 01:05:31,725 are maybe some, not some, some are just as bad, 1581 01:05:31,795 --> 01:05:34,765 some are worse, some are not quite as bad. 1582 01:05:35,305 --> 01:05:37,405 But I do, I do feel like us 1583 01:05:37,585 --> 01:05:41,125 and your BFF across the street neighbors we're like these 1584 01:05:41,125 --> 01:05:42,645 little liberal like 1585 01:05:43,005 --> 01:05:44,125 - Bastions of Right 1586 01:05:44,305 --> 01:05:47,965 - In the middle of, and you know, so I don't know. 1587 01:05:48,165 --> 01:05:50,805 I mean, when we vote, we cancel out a few votes. 1588 01:05:51,145 --> 01:05:53,645 So , I wouldn't wanna, yeah. 1589 01:05:53,765 --> 01:05:55,325 I wouldn't wanna lose that either. Mm-Hmm. 1590 01:05:55,365 --> 01:05:56,365 - . Mm-Hmm. . 1591 01:05:58,825 --> 01:05:59,965 - Anyway. - . 1592 01:06:00,665 --> 01:06:03,125 - Ooh, Ms. Woodhouse's, the hair chalk works. Works great. 1593 01:06:03,865 --> 01:06:05,845 Um, did pride flag on the back 1594 01:06:05,845 --> 01:06:07,165 of my head last year washed right out? 1595 01:06:07,645 --> 01:06:11,685 Hmm. Something to consider? Mm-Hmm 1596 01:06:11,745 --> 01:06:12,745 - Mm-Hmm. 1597 01:06:12,745 --> 01:06:13,645 - something to consider. 1598 01:06:13,645 --> 01:06:14,525 - Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . 1599 01:06:15,565 --> 01:06:16,285 I bet . 1600 01:06:18,525 --> 01:06:23,485 - I don't, I I had hoped on 1601 01:06:23,985 --> 01:06:26,885 Kry we'd have a couple of products that were, 1602 01:06:27,505 --> 01:06:29,325 had pride colors of different flags, 1603 01:06:29,345 --> 01:06:30,685 not just the, the main one. 1604 01:06:31,345 --> 01:06:33,725 Um, and I had hoped on the Etsy shop 1605 01:06:33,725 --> 01:06:34,925 that I would have some apparel, 1606 01:06:34,925 --> 01:06:36,925 but I don't know that I'm gonna be able 1607 01:06:36,985 --> 01:06:38,005 to get it ready in time. 1608 01:06:38,355 --> 01:06:40,605 Yeah. Um, I really don't think I am. 1609 01:06:40,995 --> 01:06:45,885 I've been eighth grade schoolwork is taking 1610 01:06:45,965 --> 01:06:50,365 a lot of focus, um, trying to, we've been, um, 1611 01:06:50,945 --> 01:06:52,165 what's the word I'm looking for? 1612 01:06:53,215 --> 01:06:54,885 We've been developing products, 1613 01:06:55,025 --> 01:06:57,445 but I've, I can't make them at the speed. 1614 01:06:57,505 --> 01:07:00,045 I'd like to, 'cause I gotta get the finishing process right. 1615 01:07:00,405 --> 01:07:01,645 'cause if I can't finish 'em 1616 01:07:01,785 --> 01:07:03,565 and make 'em look good, then I'll have used 1617 01:07:03,585 --> 01:07:04,805 all this fucking resin 1618 01:07:05,225 --> 01:07:06,225 - For nothing. 1619 01:07:06,505 --> 01:07:08,965 - So I got to a point where I had to stop production 1620 01:07:08,965 --> 01:07:11,525 to start working on the finishing of it. 1621 01:07:11,675 --> 01:07:16,445 Yeah. So I don't know if I'll be able to do anything 1622 01:07:16,625 --> 01:07:19,645 and have it done in time for, um, this year's pride. 1623 01:07:20,785 --> 01:07:24,205 But, but also you don't have to just put, you know, 1624 01:07:25,515 --> 01:07:28,525 flag colored things out in June either. 1625 01:07:28,705 --> 01:07:30,165 We could sell it all fucking year 1626 01:07:30,165 --> 01:07:31,165 - Round. 1627 01:07:31,165 --> 01:07:32,605 All year round. That's true. Yeah. That's 1628 01:07:32,605 --> 01:07:33,605 - True. 1629 01:07:33,605 --> 01:07:36,285 We are one of those, uh, heterosexual appearing couples. 1630 01:07:36,685 --> 01:07:41,005 , uh, JB is pan. He's pansexual. Mm-Hmm. 1631 01:07:41,045 --> 01:07:42,165 . That's why I'm allowed to say it. 1632 01:07:42,205 --> 01:07:44,405 'cause he said it publicly here on the stream if you're, no. 1633 01:07:44,675 --> 01:07:47,765 - Okay. And, and I have it on my, um, fit. Do 1634 01:07:47,765 --> 01:07:48,765 - You? 1635 01:07:48,765 --> 01:07:49,845 Okay. I hadn't, you know, I barely look 1636 01:07:49,845 --> 01:07:50,845 - At that. 1637 01:07:50,845 --> 01:07:51,565 I know you do. I know , 1638 01:07:51,725 --> 01:07:53,565 - I use them for business purposes, 1639 01:07:55,905 --> 01:07:57,605 but Yeah, 1640 01:07:58,925 --> 01:08:00,405 - I know I could have all kinds of crazy, 1641 01:08:01,065 --> 01:08:02,685 all the wall shit going on. 1642 01:08:02,685 --> 01:08:03,685 My fit. You, you could be doing 1643 01:08:03,685 --> 01:08:05,205 - All, I would have no fucking clue. 1644 01:08:05,205 --> 01:08:06,605 Right. You could have a whole other family 1645 01:08:06,635 --> 01:08:07,725 that you're talking about 1646 01:08:07,885 --> 01:08:11,085 - - Wouldn't know, would find out 1647 01:08:11,085 --> 01:08:12,365 and then would get my feelings hurt. 1648 01:08:12,665 --> 01:08:14,525 Uh, and be, be, uh, envious 1649 01:08:14,525 --> 01:08:17,325 and like, you know, the actual, the, the rule 1650 01:08:17,435 --> 01:08:20,045 that we have established that is for my mental health 1651 01:08:20,185 --> 01:08:22,245 and for JB to have a continued relationship 1652 01:08:22,245 --> 01:08:25,205 with me is you can, there's a lot he can do 1653 01:08:25,205 --> 01:08:28,805 that you probably could not do in, you know, an uh, 1654 01:08:28,925 --> 01:08:31,365 a non kinky, monogamous kind of relationship. 1655 01:08:31,385 --> 01:08:33,805 It is like, but I better not find out from 1656 01:08:33,935 --> 01:08:35,045 about it from anybody. 1657 01:08:35,345 --> 01:08:37,845 But you and I better not find out about it 1658 01:08:37,845 --> 01:08:39,525 after everybody else has found out about it. 1659 01:08:39,715 --> 01:08:43,125 Tell me shit, whatever it is. Mm-Hmm. 1660 01:08:43,165 --> 01:08:45,125 I can handle it. But the moment 1661 01:08:45,845 --> 01:08:47,005 I feel like I haven't been told something 1662 01:08:47,005 --> 01:08:48,885 or something's been hidden for me, anxiety. 1663 01:08:48,905 --> 01:08:52,165 So the roof trust issues, you know, 1664 01:08:52,535 --> 01:08:55,685 start flourishing like weeds in the lawn, , 1665 01:08:56,075 --> 01:08:57,605 it's a bad time for everybody. 1666 01:08:58,045 --> 01:08:59,085 . So, 1667 01:09:02,865 --> 01:09:04,125 but yeah, 1668 01:09:11,005 --> 01:09:13,045 I think my headache's, no, the headache's still there. 1669 01:09:13,275 --> 01:09:15,685 It's just like right at this eyebrow right now. 1670 01:09:16,725 --> 01:09:20,885 Tylenol did something, but okay, I ordered ibuprofen. 1671 01:09:20,885 --> 01:09:22,165 - It's better than nothing. - I know. 1672 01:09:22,165 --> 01:09:24,085 I'm waiting for the ibuprofen to come in. Yeah. 1673 01:09:24,745 --> 01:09:29,445 We have a thing where we get a credit to CVS each month, um, 1674 01:09:31,385 --> 01:09:32,445 for a, I can't remember. 1675 01:09:32,515 --> 01:09:35,005 It's a benefit of something that the youngest gets. 1676 01:09:35,005 --> 01:09:36,125 And so if he needs medicine 1677 01:09:36,125 --> 01:09:38,285 or if he needs whatever, I order it through there 1678 01:09:38,385 --> 01:09:39,765 and when he doesn't need anything, 1679 01:09:39,765 --> 01:09:42,125 but we need like household like ibuprofen 1680 01:09:42,265 --> 01:09:44,365 and I didn't have any ointment 1681 01:09:44,425 --> 01:09:46,685 to put on my thumb when I sliced it over 1682 01:09:46,685 --> 01:09:47,845 with the putting knife, things like that. 1683 01:09:48,005 --> 01:09:49,445 I just order it using that credit. 1684 01:09:49,785 --> 01:09:51,605 And I was like, I need ibuprofen in this house. 1685 01:09:52,245 --> 01:09:53,445 I need ibuprofen in this house. 1686 01:09:55,125 --> 01:09:56,525 I think I could get the youngest 1687 01:09:56,525 --> 01:09:58,925 to actually take ibuprofen when he doesn't feel good. 1688 01:09:58,945 --> 01:10:02,325 Now he does. He's he is a champion pill swallower now. Okay. 1689 01:10:02,465 --> 01:10:05,525 All right baby. He takes so many damn pills. I'll say this. 1690 01:10:05,625 --> 01:10:07,965 His pediatrician has not impressed me much 1691 01:10:08,025 --> 01:10:09,845 lately until he lost the weight. 1692 01:10:09,865 --> 01:10:11,485 And then the doctor was like, holy shit. 1693 01:10:11,515 --> 01:10:13,605 Okay, let's, yeah, let's take care of it. . 1694 01:10:13,865 --> 01:10:15,965 But he did acknowledge, 1695 01:10:16,145 --> 01:10:19,285 and I, I think the pediatrician was the first doctor I have 1696 01:10:19,315 --> 01:10:23,205 seen out of all these doctors and, and specialists 1697 01:10:23,205 --> 01:10:26,405 and people that the youngest sees to acknowledge 1698 01:10:27,905 --> 01:10:30,765 to the kid he was talking about, going back 1699 01:10:30,765 --> 01:10:32,445 to the dermatologist for his acne 1700 01:10:32,445 --> 01:10:33,885 and getting on an antibiotic again. 1701 01:10:33,885 --> 01:10:35,485 He goes, . 1702 01:10:35,625 --> 01:10:37,685 He goes, I get why you might not want to, 1703 01:10:37,785 --> 01:10:39,325 you already take a lot of medications. 1704 01:10:39,505 --> 01:10:42,405 It gets overwhelming and exhausting to take that many meds. 1705 01:10:42,985 --> 01:10:45,845 And I just, I felt like the youngest kind of felt seen 1706 01:10:46,025 --> 01:10:47,045 for a moment there. 1707 01:10:47,045 --> 01:10:49,805 Mm-Hmm. . And I was like, okay, I'm, 1708 01:10:49,945 --> 01:10:51,365 I'm still not sure how I feel about you, 1709 01:10:51,385 --> 01:10:53,925 but you, you're getting it. Okay. 1710 01:10:54,005 --> 01:10:55,845 - A a slightly redeeming moment. Yeah. Yes. 1711 01:10:55,955 --> 01:10:58,605 - Yeah. Also taking the, the weight he, yeah. 1712 01:10:58,745 --> 01:11:01,405 The, the one issue seriously quickly 1713 01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:04,285 was a redeeming quality as well. 1714 01:11:04,285 --> 01:11:08,845 Mm-Hmm. . But anyway, um, yeah. Anything else? 1715 01:11:14,805 --> 01:11:17,045 - ? - Do you know the other night? 1716 01:11:17,785 --> 01:11:20,285 - Uh, oh, - I was, I think I was, 1717 01:11:20,705 --> 01:11:21,965 it was taking me a while to go to sleep. 1718 01:11:23,025 --> 01:11:26,725 An entire sh episode topic came to me 1719 01:11:26,905 --> 01:11:29,005 and my brain fleshed it out. 1720 01:11:29,005 --> 01:11:31,645 Middle of the night. I eyes weren't really open. 1721 01:11:31,965 --> 01:11:33,245 I didn't have any paper near me. 1722 01:11:33,415 --> 01:11:35,485 There was no grabbing my phone and trying to take notes. 1723 01:11:35,485 --> 01:11:37,845 It never would've been like gobbledygook the 1724 01:11:37,845 --> 01:11:38,925 next day if I tried to read it. 1725 01:11:40,275 --> 01:11:42,605 Podcast episode idea came to me fully formed. 1726 01:11:42,765 --> 01:11:44,165 I fleshed it out in my brain. 1727 01:11:44,395 --> 01:11:45,725 Like, I was like, we could talk about this 1728 01:11:45,725 --> 01:11:47,525 and here's the points we make, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1729 01:11:47,925 --> 01:11:51,245 I was like, oh, but will I remember this when I wake up? 1730 01:11:51,415 --> 01:11:54,205 Guess who does not fucking remember it at all? 1731 01:11:54,645 --> 01:11:55,965 I remember I had the idea. 1732 01:11:56,765 --> 01:11:58,485 I remember I flushed it outta my brain hole. 1733 01:11:58,705 --> 01:12:02,565 - You, you need to, uh, keep a pen and then, uh, post it. 1734 01:12:03,425 --> 01:12:04,685 - It was probably brilliant too. 1735 01:12:04,685 --> 01:12:06,805 It might've been like, for all I know, 1736 01:12:06,825 --> 01:12:10,045 the best one we would ever have done in our whole ass lives 1737 01:12:10,595 --> 01:12:12,805 gone Gone into the, 1738 01:12:13,315 --> 01:12:14,315 - Into the ether. 1739 01:12:14,315 --> 01:12:17,125 - Into the ether. I know. - Mm-Hmm. 1740 01:12:18,125 --> 01:12:19,445 - I know. It's very disappointing. 1741 01:12:21,115 --> 01:12:23,325 - Okay. Okay. I have to go do eighth grade math 1742 01:12:23,325 --> 01:12:25,645 and I'm procrastinating . Yeah. You can't. 1743 01:12:26,505 --> 01:12:27,685 - And I have to break all this 1744 01:12:27,685 --> 01:12:28,765 stuff down when we're down and 1745 01:12:28,785 --> 01:12:29,785 - Put it on. 1746 01:12:29,785 --> 01:12:30,325 Well, I don't know. Well, maybe not 1747 01:12:30,345 --> 01:12:31,445 all the, all the way away. 1748 01:12:31,745 --> 01:12:33,565 We gotta stream Friday night. True. True. True. 1749 01:12:33,845 --> 01:12:35,085 I keep losing track of the days 1750 01:12:35,305 --> 01:12:37,845 and I was shocked to discover that today was Wednesday. 1751 01:12:38,245 --> 01:12:40,925 - . - No, I knew today was Wednesday, 1752 01:12:41,025 --> 01:12:43,085 but this, this has been 1753 01:12:45,165 --> 01:12:46,165 - A - Week. 1754 01:12:46,165 --> 01:12:49,285 - Yeah. - I mean, even last night, I, I was 1755 01:12:52,525 --> 01:12:55,325 chatting and like, it was only Tuesday 1756 01:12:55,425 --> 01:12:56,925 and I was like, this has been a long week. 1757 01:12:56,925 --> 01:12:58,005 - Mm-Hmm. . And you got 1758 01:12:58,005 --> 01:12:59,125 to go to the sawmill yesterday. 1759 01:12:59,125 --> 01:13:00,525 And that's usually like the highlight that, 1760 01:13:00,525 --> 01:13:01,525 - That's usually a highlight. 1761 01:13:01,965 --> 01:13:03,125 I didn't, I didn't enjoy it. 1762 01:13:03,365 --> 01:13:06,045 I had, I have always have a good time when I go 1763 01:13:06,045 --> 01:13:08,285 to the sawmill and, um, 1764 01:13:09,675 --> 01:13:11,365 brought home some, some stuff. 1765 01:13:11,365 --> 01:13:14,085 Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. And, uh, we'll see. 1766 01:13:14,085 --> 01:13:16,085 Maybe tomorrow I need to start milling it. 1767 01:13:17,115 --> 01:13:19,005 - Well, I was gonna talk to you about when we could mill it 1768 01:13:19,125 --> 01:13:20,605 together, but tomorrow will not work for me 1769 01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:22,725 because I have to take a kid to an appointment. 1770 01:13:22,835 --> 01:13:26,845 Yeah. So, you know. Yeah. No. Okay. 1771 01:13:27,085 --> 01:13:30,525 I guess, I guess I should stop procrastinating 1772 01:13:30,545 --> 01:13:32,245 and go do eighth grade math. 1773 01:13:32,515 --> 01:13:35,245 It's, it is technically the last brand new like 1774 01:13:35,245 --> 01:13:36,525 assignment learning a new thing. 1775 01:13:36,545 --> 01:13:38,125 Mm-Hmm. of eighth grade math ever. 1776 01:13:38,225 --> 01:13:39,565 If we can get through this, 1777 01:13:40,515 --> 01:13:42,605 it's just some testing to do after that. 1778 01:13:43,745 --> 01:13:46,605 - That's it. That's it. Yeah. We can 1779 01:13:46,605 --> 01:13:47,605 - Do this. 1780 01:13:47,605 --> 01:13:48,325 I be, I believe in him. 1781 01:13:48,485 --> 01:13:49,685 I don't really believe in me getting 1782 01:13:49,685 --> 01:13:50,725 through this, but I believe in him. 1783 01:13:50,725 --> 01:13:52,685 Mm-Hmm. . Anyway, I guess we're gonna go. 1784 01:13:53,105 --> 01:13:56,845 - Um, yeah, I, I agree with you. Bunny. Math sucks. 1785 01:13:57,315 --> 01:14:00,285 - Fuck math. Yeah. - I was fine with geometry 1786 01:14:00,285 --> 01:14:02,525 and trigonometry 'cause that made sense to my brain. 1787 01:14:02,965 --> 01:14:06,605 I struggled. I took pre-algebra twice. Algebra, algebra. 1788 01:14:06,845 --> 01:14:08,005 I got up to pre-calculus. 1789 01:14:08,165 --> 01:14:09,285 I still don't know how the fuck I did 1790 01:14:09,285 --> 01:14:10,285 - Pre-calculus. 1791 01:14:10,285 --> 01:14:14,245 The only reason I I made it through algebra was 1792 01:14:14,245 --> 01:14:16,965 because the teacher took pity on me. 1793 01:14:17,145 --> 01:14:20,885 Oh no. And tutored me after school. Wow. 1794 01:14:21,905 --> 01:14:24,445 - Wow. - I struggled with algebra. Yeah. 1795 01:14:24,465 --> 01:14:26,325 So bad, bad algebra was never easy for me 1796 01:14:26,325 --> 01:14:27,325 - Either. 1797 01:14:27,325 --> 01:14:31,245 - Um, geometry, once I got past that and, 1798 01:14:31,245 --> 01:14:32,685 and in geo I was just like, 1799 01:14:32,795 --> 01:14:33,795 - Yeah. 1800 01:14:33,795 --> 01:14:34,765 Geometry and trig. I, that made 1801 01:14:34,765 --> 01:14:35,725 - Total, total sense to me. 1802 01:14:35,725 --> 01:14:36,645 No, I never took trig. I never did. 1803 01:14:36,955 --> 01:14:38,605 - Yeah. I don't think I had to, 1804 01:14:38,665 --> 01:14:41,605 but I think I convinced myself that I needed to keep going 1805 01:14:41,825 --> 01:14:43,565 and I ended up in pre-calculus 1806 01:14:43,625 --> 01:14:44,965 and I was like, what am I doing here? 1807 01:14:45,365 --> 01:14:49,205 , there are no numbers here. There are only letters. 1808 01:14:49,395 --> 01:14:52,525 What is happening. Right. Anyway. Yeah. We're gonna go. 1809 01:14:52,525 --> 01:14:53,725 Mm-Hmm. . Um, 1810 01:14:54,305 --> 01:14:55,525 - Thanks for being here with us, 1811 01:14:55,525 --> 01:14:56,645 - Especially to the bitter end. 1812 01:14:56,645 --> 01:15:00,445 Yep. Hopefully we will air quote, see you on Friday. Friday. 1813 01:15:00,675 --> 01:15:02,605 Yeah. Hopefully it will be both of us. Mm-Hmm. 1814 01:15:02,645 --> 01:15:05,165 . Um, but yeah, we're gonna go. 1815 01:15:05,235 --> 01:15:06,365 Yeah. Okay. Okay. 1816 01:15:06,865 --> 01:15:07,525 - Bye. Bye.