1 00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,805 - You are listening to the Living BDSM podcast, 2 00:00:12,995 --> 00:00:14,325 episode 3 94. 3 00:00:14,435 --> 00:00:16,365 Okay. Lord's here with the one, the only, the 4 00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:20,205 I still can't decide what to say about you, 5 00:00:20,345 --> 00:00:21,805 and you're never caffeinated enough. 6 00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:25,045 I know you're tired. You're my grumpy polar bear daddy, 7 00:00:25,345 --> 00:00:26,965 and I love you, John Brownstone. 8 00:00:26,965 --> 00:00:29,045 That's all I got. That's all I got. 9 00:00:29,365 --> 00:00:31,885 - . Good. Good. 10 00:00:31,885 --> 00:00:33,165 Then I'm, I'm, I'm doing my 11 00:00:33,165 --> 00:00:34,685 job 'cause I'm keeping you guessing. I've 12 00:00:34,685 --> 00:00:35,685 - Said it all. 13 00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,725 I've said all there is to say about you. That's it. Okay. 14 00:00:37,725 --> 00:00:38,765 We're done here. Okay. 15 00:00:39,185 --> 00:00:40,725 - Bye. - No. 16 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:43,405 This week, uh, we're answering relationship 17 00:00:43,405 --> 00:00:46,045 with questions again and from therapy, Jeff, again. 18 00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:48,365 We did that. Uh, the last time we did a therapy, Jeff. 19 00:00:48,385 --> 00:00:51,085 One was, I think a couple of question ones ago. 20 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:54,005 And these are the warm and fuzzy kind according 21 00:00:54,145 --> 00:00:55,245 - To - Therapy, Jeff. 22 00:00:55,665 --> 00:00:58,765 Um, so either we're gonna come across as ridiculously, 23 00:00:58,995 --> 00:01:02,805 grossly cute, or we're gonna be the goofballs we are. 24 00:01:03,305 --> 00:01:04,525 And forget that this is supposed 25 00:01:04,525 --> 00:01:05,645 to make anybody warm and fuzzy. 26 00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:09,405 . May the odds be 27 00:01:09,405 --> 00:01:10,405 - Ever in our favor. 28 00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:13,125 Now I'm warm, but I don't know if I'm very fuzzy. I 29 00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:15,765 - Shaved yesterday, so I'm less fuzzy than usual. 30 00:01:16,225 --> 00:01:17,525 So, you know, there's that 31 00:01:18,005 --> 00:01:21,765 - , - Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. 32 00:01:21,945 --> 00:01:23,805 If this is your first time listening, glad to have you. 33 00:01:23,805 --> 00:01:24,965 And yeah, it's like this all the time. 34 00:01:25,225 --> 00:01:26,685 If you're back for another week, welcome back. 35 00:01:26,685 --> 00:01:28,365 Loving BDSM is produced every Monday 36 00:01:28,365 --> 00:01:30,005 and Friday for your kinky pleasure and education. 37 00:01:30,005 --> 00:01:32,445 And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net. 38 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,685 Come back often and feel free to add the podcast 39 00:01:34,825 --> 00:01:36,085 to your favorite podcast app. 40 00:01:36,345 --> 00:01:39,885 You can also follow the show on FetLife at Loving BDSM pc. 41 00:01:39,885 --> 00:01:42,205 The PC stands for podcast on Instagram 42 00:01:42,265 --> 00:01:43,885 and threads at that handle. 43 00:01:44,165 --> 00:01:46,125 I will forever fucking hate with a passion 44 00:01:46,385 --> 00:01:49,445 of a thousand sons loving Ds and the number one. 45 00:01:49,545 --> 00:01:51,605 So at Loving DS one, 46 00:01:51,905 --> 00:01:54,525 or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving 47 00:01:54,955 --> 00:01:56,085 bdsm, where you can watch us live. 48 00:01:56,085 --> 00:01:57,685 Stream the podcast every Wednesday. 49 00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,285 All links are in the show notes. 50 00:01:59,825 --> 00:02:02,405 Big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on Patreon, 51 00:02:02,405 --> 00:02:03,685 including our newest peeps. 52 00:02:03,975 --> 00:02:06,125 We're able to keep doing this weird ass thing on the 53 00:02:06,245 --> 00:02:08,405 internet in large part because of our kinky patrons. 54 00:02:08,425 --> 00:02:10,485 And we are so fucking grateful to every, 55 00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:11,565 - Everyone of you. 56 00:02:12,105 --> 00:02:13,765 - If you'd like to join our kinky community 57 00:02:13,765 --> 00:02:15,205 and get access to extra content 58 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:18,205 and a Discord Surfer, surfer, what are words with a group 59 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,805 of super cool, super nice kinks? 60 00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:23,365 You can do that. Join us at patreon.com/kayla lords. 61 00:02:23,365 --> 00:02:25,965 That's patreon.com/kayla lords. 62 00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:29,125 Or use the link in the show notes. Okay. 63 00:02:29,785 --> 00:02:32,965 Before we get into the questions we're gonna answer, 64 00:02:33,145 --> 00:02:34,445 we do have an announcement. 65 00:02:34,785 --> 00:02:36,325 Yes. I have to adjust my seat 66 00:02:36,445 --> 00:02:38,005 'cause I felt like I was like sliding down 67 00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:41,045 and it is like a legit announcement. 68 00:02:41,325 --> 00:02:43,285 Announcement. Um, this is one of those times where I hope, 69 00:02:43,545 --> 00:02:45,645 uh, if you are a person who does other things 70 00:02:46,585 --> 00:02:49,125 in the background, like you give us like a little bit 71 00:02:49,125 --> 00:02:50,525 of your attention and then you can go back 72 00:02:50,525 --> 00:02:51,685 to having us be background noise. 73 00:02:52,425 --> 00:02:55,285 Um, starting next week, May 8th, 74 00:02:55,965 --> 00:02:59,085 I double checked the calendar so I could get the day right. 75 00:03:00,105 --> 00:03:04,445 Um, we are gonna be changing the time of day we livestream. 76 00:03:04,745 --> 00:03:07,165 So podcast listeners, you will not feel any effect. 77 00:03:07,195 --> 00:03:08,685 Your podcast episode will come out 78 00:03:08,685 --> 00:03:09,765 on Fridays, as it always does. 79 00:03:10,385 --> 00:03:13,605 Um, for anybody who watches the video instead 80 00:03:13,605 --> 00:03:15,445 of the livestream, you will be delayed. 81 00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:18,885 But livestream folks will absolutely be impacted by this. 82 00:03:18,885 --> 00:03:19,965 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . So 83 00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:22,805 for the past few years, we've been live streaming midday 84 00:03:22,805 --> 00:03:25,045 through the summer in this room, in this office 85 00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:27,805 that gets very, very hot in the middle of the day. 86 00:03:28,425 --> 00:03:30,005 And, uh, we've just decided 87 00:03:30,005 --> 00:03:31,085 we don't want to do that anymore. 88 00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,125 . Yeah. So we're 89 00:03:33,615 --> 00:03:35,085 definitely doing this for the summer. 90 00:03:35,185 --> 00:03:37,925 We do not know if it will continue beyond the summer. 91 00:03:38,515 --> 00:03:40,165 It's starting next week. May 8th, 92 00:03:40,665 --> 00:03:44,765 we will start live streaming at 7:00 PM Eastern. 93 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,765 Yes. We know that that means there will be some people 94 00:03:47,785 --> 00:03:50,605 who cannot attend probably because of time zone, probably 95 00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,045 because of work, probably because of kids. 96 00:03:52,505 --> 00:03:55,165 And we are, we are very sorry for that. 97 00:03:55,265 --> 00:03:58,725 We don't want to have anybody miss an opportunity 98 00:03:58,875 --> 00:04:00,485 that they would like to have. 99 00:04:01,305 --> 00:04:03,445 But also we would like to stop being nauseous 100 00:04:03,965 --> 00:04:05,845 while we're live streaming. 101 00:04:06,425 --> 00:04:09,205 So, um, and that was a time that worked 102 00:04:09,235 --> 00:04:10,605 with our personal schedule. 103 00:04:10,605 --> 00:04:14,605 Yeah. It wasn't too late at night for us. And just, yeah. 104 00:04:14,985 --> 00:04:19,485 So next week, 7:00 PM Eastern will, I probably forget 105 00:04:19,505 --> 00:04:22,325 how all of this works because we will have changed the time. 106 00:04:22,865 --> 00:04:27,725 Yes. Yep. Yes. It will be, it will be, um, probably wild. 107 00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:32,245 Um, certainly chaotic. Um, if we enjoy it, we have, 108 00:04:32,245 --> 00:04:34,205 we haven't discussed it like fully, 109 00:04:34,225 --> 00:04:35,845 but I think we're both sort of open to the idea. 110 00:04:35,905 --> 00:04:38,405 If we like that change, we may keep it. Keep it. Yeah. 111 00:04:38,825 --> 00:04:42,365 If we, um, are like me kinda like, give 112 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,765 or take, we might switch back once the weather cools. 113 00:04:44,765 --> 00:04:46,525 What you have to understand is, this is Florida. 114 00:04:46,865 --> 00:04:49,245 The weather doesn't actually really cool down 115 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:50,445 until late October. 116 00:04:51,155 --> 00:04:53,685 Sometimes as late as mid-November. November . 117 00:04:54,305 --> 00:04:57,685 So our summers last about six months . 118 00:04:58,185 --> 00:05:01,005 - So, - Um, yeah. Yeah. 119 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:02,885 So the video playback will always 120 00:05:02,885 --> 00:05:04,045 be available on the live stream. 121 00:05:04,185 --> 00:05:06,845 You know, the Friday podcast episode, that's, 122 00:05:06,845 --> 00:05:08,085 that's none of that's changing. 123 00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:10,325 You know, it might mean that maybe you get 124 00:05:10,345 --> 00:05:12,765 to watch the live stream when you couldn't before. 125 00:05:13,425 --> 00:05:15,365 Um, we will miss anybody who, you know, 126 00:05:15,365 --> 00:05:17,125 their schedule just doesn't allow for it. 127 00:05:17,745 --> 00:05:21,685 Um, but yeah, it's, we just didn't want to, 128 00:05:21,685 --> 00:05:23,165 we didn't wanna do another summer No. 129 00:05:23,225 --> 00:05:26,125 - Of this. Um, you know, you, you gotta understand Yeah. 130 00:05:26,345 --> 00:05:30,285 The, this, this room, the office that we use, um, 131 00:05:31,475 --> 00:05:35,845 from morning till probably about two, 132 00:05:35,975 --> 00:05:38,365 three o'clock in the afternoon, uh, 133 00:05:38,365 --> 00:05:40,285 this room gets full sun. Yeah, 134 00:05:40,285 --> 00:05:41,285 - It does. 135 00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:44,805 - Um, then you bring in the fact we have, uh, three 136 00:05:45,485 --> 00:05:48,765 computers running at any given time in here. 137 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,125 And then you throw in the lights for their, 138 00:05:51,305 --> 00:05:52,565 you know, and, and everything. 139 00:05:52,665 --> 00:05:55,725 And it, uh, brings up the ambient temperature in here. 140 00:05:55,985 --> 00:05:57,485 - Yep. So, 141 00:05:57,705 --> 00:06:00,525 and with last summer was record temps like most 142 00:06:00,525 --> 00:06:01,525 of the world Yeah. 143 00:06:01,635 --> 00:06:02,685 Experienced. Uh, 144 00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,325 I don't see why this summer will be any different. 145 00:06:05,455 --> 00:06:07,245 We're just, we're just moving it. Yeah. 146 00:06:07,625 --> 00:06:09,965 Um, so yeah, that's the thing. 147 00:06:10,085 --> 00:06:12,685 I will try to put out as many reminders in all other places 148 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:15,845 that I communicate with people as possible. 149 00:06:16,465 --> 00:06:19,205 Um, so that, you know, folks who want to 150 00:06:20,295 --> 00:06:23,165 watch the stream have like, just reminders. 151 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,125 I don't expect you to remember 152 00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:25,245 a thing just 'cause we said it once. 153 00:06:25,245 --> 00:06:28,645 Like, that's just not how the world works. So, um, yeah. 154 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,805 That, that was the announcement that 155 00:06:33,265 --> 00:06:35,045 we are keeping our Friday night 156 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,605 monthly virtual mu thing the same. 157 00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:41,525 Mm-Hmm. . Um, we are on YouTube getting closer 158 00:06:42,025 --> 00:06:43,485 to 10,000 followers. 159 00:06:43,545 --> 00:06:47,165 Our arbitrary goal there will be a special live stream for 160 00:06:47,195 --> 00:06:48,405 that when that occurs. 161 00:06:48,985 --> 00:06:53,445 Um, so yeah. That, that is the announcement. 162 00:06:53,585 --> 00:06:54,965 Mm-Hmm. , we are shifting the time 163 00:06:54,965 --> 00:06:56,965 of our live streams on Wednesdays. 164 00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:01,885 Um, now it's time when JB gets back to his seat 165 00:07:02,425 --> 00:07:05,085 to answer the questions. 166 00:07:05,945 --> 00:07:09,045 Um, so we've done relationship questions several times over 167 00:07:09,335 --> 00:07:12,325 since I discovered the this was a thing that I could, 168 00:07:12,345 --> 00:07:13,605 you know, use for my own content. 169 00:07:14,185 --> 00:07:17,325 Um, and we are back to, uh, taking questions 170 00:07:17,325 --> 00:07:19,845 that therapy Jeff posed on the internet. 171 00:07:19,845 --> 00:07:22,685 Now therapy, Jeff is probably huge on TikTok. 172 00:07:22,845 --> 00:07:25,365 I know him from Instagram 'cause that's where I frequent. 173 00:07:25,825 --> 00:07:27,405 Um, but apparently he's also got a podcast, 174 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:31,005 which I kind wanna like check out, check out 175 00:07:31,005 --> 00:07:33,165 because I love how he gives advice 176 00:07:33,225 --> 00:07:35,245 and I agree with much of it. 177 00:07:35,325 --> 00:07:37,685 I mean, some of it's applicable to Sters 178 00:07:37,685 --> 00:07:38,765 and some of it's like me. 179 00:07:38,985 --> 00:07:42,525 Nah. Um, but like his sense of humor is kind of interesting 180 00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,525 to me, apparently also as a Patreon where he does even more. 181 00:07:44,525 --> 00:07:46,405 But I'm a broke ass bitch, so 182 00:07:46,955 --> 00:07:48,405 I'll just stick to the free stuff. 183 00:07:48,785 --> 00:07:52,085 Um, and actually it's funny, I was, I'd saved the reel. 184 00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:54,125 I've linked the reel for anybody who wants to watch it 185 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:55,645 and go check him out on Instagram. 186 00:07:56,425 --> 00:08:00,285 Um, and I was copying down the questions that he posed 187 00:08:00,825 --> 00:08:04,845 and saw that like within the past 24 hours of doing that 188 00:08:04,845 --> 00:08:05,925 and going, writing 189 00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,285 these questions is what we're gonna answer. 190 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:10,845 He had just posted a thing of like, some number 191 00:08:10,905 --> 00:08:14,205 of spicy questions to ask your partner. 192 00:08:14,585 --> 00:08:18,125 And I'm not in a spicy frame of mind today, so I went, no, 193 00:08:18,125 --> 00:08:19,205 no, we're gonna go with warm and fuzzy. 194 00:08:19,205 --> 00:08:22,045 Mm-Hmm. Uh, I think JB and I could use warm and fuzzy. 195 00:08:22,095 --> 00:08:26,445 We've had to be very, um, goal oriented 196 00:08:26,445 --> 00:08:29,565 and very serious and very like problem solving mode. 197 00:08:29,565 --> 00:08:31,445 And there's not been a lot of warm and fuzzy. Yeah. 198 00:08:31,465 --> 00:08:33,805 Uh, except when I get the zoomies at night when we're 199 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:34,845 trying to go to sleep . 200 00:08:35,545 --> 00:08:37,845 And then it's not warm fuzzy. It's silly and goofy. 201 00:08:38,145 --> 00:08:40,845 Uh, I made my laugh myself, laugh at myself so hard. 202 00:08:40,845 --> 00:08:44,845 I cried last night and I think I made JB question all 203 00:08:44,845 --> 00:08:46,205 of his decisions, uh, 204 00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,645 upon meeting me every single one . 205 00:08:49,745 --> 00:08:51,565 Um, so we could use some warm and fuzzy, 206 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:55,765 but maybe when we do this again in the future, we'll do some 207 00:08:55,775 --> 00:08:56,845 - Spicy ones. Do the spicy ones. 208 00:08:56,845 --> 00:09:00,085 - Right. So these are supposed to make us feel good. 209 00:09:00,085 --> 00:09:02,765 These are not supposed to be like too dang serious. 210 00:09:03,665 --> 00:09:06,365 My, uh, thing for anybody watching, if you're like, okay, 211 00:09:06,365 --> 00:09:08,205 how am I supposed to like, apply this to my life? 212 00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:11,205 Feel free to do these exercises with a partner 213 00:09:11,435 --> 00:09:12,925 that you've got that you're like, yeah, 214 00:09:13,175 --> 00:09:14,645 let's, let's have some fun. 215 00:09:15,145 --> 00:09:17,645 Um, and he does that pretty frequently in his content. 216 00:09:17,675 --> 00:09:18,965 Like if you go through and scroll, 217 00:09:19,395 --> 00:09:20,565 there's all kinds of questions. 218 00:09:20,565 --> 00:09:22,805 He's like, you should ask each other these questions. 219 00:09:22,865 --> 00:09:24,965 So it's kind of fun. Okay. 220 00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:26,645 So we're going 221 00:09:26,825 --> 00:09:30,405 to get into it. 222 00:09:30,585 --> 00:09:34,925 The first question is kind of a, for each 223 00:09:34,925 --> 00:09:36,805 of us individually, but I think we can answer it together. 224 00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:40,165 When did you realize you'd fallen for each other? 225 00:09:41,385 --> 00:09:43,525 So when did you know you had fallen for me? 226 00:09:44,325 --> 00:09:46,325 I was your person or one of your people? 227 00:09:47,805 --> 00:09:50,645 - I think for me it was pretty much just prior 228 00:09:50,825 --> 00:09:53,205 to our first time meeting in person. 229 00:09:54,105 --> 00:09:56,885 - Oh. Did something specific happen or you just like 230 00:09:57,705 --> 00:09:58,705 - It came to you? 231 00:09:58,705 --> 00:10:00,805 No, it was just, it just kind of, yeah. Yeah. 232 00:10:01,345 --> 00:10:03,765 And, um, I remember thinking that, you know, 233 00:10:05,045 --> 00:10:07,725 I I was looking forward to the visit 234 00:10:07,725 --> 00:10:09,725 because I was hoping that you were everything 235 00:10:09,795 --> 00:10:11,245 that I thought you were. 236 00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:13,125 - Yeah. I mean, it's hard when you're, yeah. 237 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:14,765 Even though we were physically 238 00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:16,165 speaking, we were talking on the phone. 239 00:10:16,165 --> 00:10:18,685 Mm-Hmm. . It wasn't just text and email. Yeah. 240 00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:20,205 It's hard to know. Yeah. It's hard to know. 241 00:10:20,795 --> 00:10:21,965 I've talked about this, um, 242 00:10:22,245 --> 00:10:23,885 a few times in the past, I'll say it again here. 243 00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:28,605 The real time I understood, 244 00:10:29,565 --> 00:10:32,045 I think I couldn't have really elaborated 245 00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,965 or explained it well, but I understood on a gut level 246 00:10:35,945 --> 00:10:38,845 was it was obviously before we met in person. 247 00:10:38,945 --> 00:10:40,285 Mm-Hmm. . And it was 248 00:10:40,285 --> 00:10:41,485 before I admitted it out loud. 249 00:10:41,585 --> 00:10:43,085 So I actually have two times to say, 250 00:10:43,345 --> 00:10:46,205 the first time I really, really realized it was when you 251 00:10:46,365 --> 00:10:47,485 and I were having a conversation, 252 00:10:48,025 --> 00:10:50,325 our power exchange was platonic and friendly. 253 00:10:50,425 --> 00:10:51,885 Mm-Hmm. . It was very minimal. 254 00:10:52,105 --> 00:10:53,565 We, but we were talking all the time 255 00:10:54,665 --> 00:10:56,325 and I was still even like, 256 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,885 casually like going out with people. 257 00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:01,125 Like not in, I didn't, wasn't in anything serious. 258 00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:02,845 I didn't want anything serious. Mm-Hmm. . 259 00:11:02,985 --> 00:11:04,805 So you knew I was seeing other people 260 00:11:04,905 --> 00:11:07,405 and having hookups, which I could, I could then come back 261 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,645 and go, oh my God, let me tell you 262 00:11:08,645 --> 00:11:10,165 what I just did in the backseat of that car. 263 00:11:10,665 --> 00:11:12,525 Uh, it was bad. I, that was a rental car. 264 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,085 I should be ashamed of myself, . 265 00:11:14,665 --> 00:11:17,005 But we could talk about stuff like that. And we did. Mm-Hmm. 266 00:11:17,045 --> 00:11:18,845 . And you and I started talking about, 267 00:11:19,105 --> 00:11:21,725 you know, if I met somebody that I, you know, wanted 268 00:11:21,725 --> 00:11:23,005 to be in a long-term relationship with 269 00:11:23,005 --> 00:11:25,125 and they were my dominant, and you're all like, well, 270 00:11:25,835 --> 00:11:29,765 another dom is probably not gonna like you being friends 271 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:35,085 with me, a dom now, now I would go, that's toxic as fuck. 272 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,645 That's not Mm-Hmm. . I would, I don't wanna be 273 00:11:36,645 --> 00:11:37,885 in a relationship with that type of person. 274 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,685 But at the time, that made total sense to me based on 275 00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:42,165 what I understood. 276 00:11:42,425 --> 00:11:45,725 Mm-Hmm. , certainly heterosexual 277 00:11:46,995 --> 00:11:49,685 male dom, female sub power exchange to look 278 00:11:49,685 --> 00:11:50,685 - Like. 279 00:11:50,685 --> 00:11:53,125 And, and, and for me, having been being predominantly 280 00:11:53,795 --> 00:11:55,965 exposed to high protocol Mm-Hmm. . 281 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,485 - Mm-Hmm. . We, 282 00:11:57,505 --> 00:12:00,165 we absolutely categorically reject it now. 283 00:12:00,185 --> 00:12:02,925 But actually having that conversation was a very good thing. 284 00:12:02,925 --> 00:12:06,605 Because the moment I had to think about some nameless, 285 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,965 faceless man that I hadn't met yet, 286 00:12:08,965 --> 00:12:12,125 telling me I couldn't be friends with, he was not known 287 00:12:12,125 --> 00:12:13,205 as John Brownstone at the time, 288 00:12:13,225 --> 00:12:15,125 but John Brownstone, I went, oh, 289 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:18,445 that's not acceptable , I'm not okay with that. 290 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:22,765 I got mad. So I think that was when in my head I went, 291 00:12:23,755 --> 00:12:24,925 yeah, this is something. 292 00:12:25,635 --> 00:12:28,245 Then when I admitted it was right 293 00:12:28,245 --> 00:12:29,965 before we visited, we vis, 294 00:12:30,025 --> 00:12:32,445 we physically met one another in March, 295 00:12:32,515 --> 00:12:33,645 like mid to late March. 296 00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:36,725 Mm-Hmm. . But in February, Valentine's Day 297 00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,565 you sent me a gift. 298 00:12:39,755 --> 00:12:43,085 Yeah. Also, in between I think Valentine's Day 299 00:12:43,085 --> 00:12:44,205 and meeting I had, like, 300 00:12:44,925 --> 00:12:46,765 I had something good happen to me at work. 301 00:12:47,165 --> 00:12:49,525 I can't remember what it was. You sent me 302 00:12:49,525 --> 00:12:51,085 flowers to congratulate me. 303 00:12:51,085 --> 00:12:53,445 Mm-Hmm. and I, I mean, was not used 304 00:12:53,445 --> 00:12:54,525 to that kind of treatment. 305 00:12:55,045 --> 00:12:57,405 I was like, oh my God. The person I shared an office 306 00:12:57,405 --> 00:12:58,845 with was so happy for me. 307 00:12:58,905 --> 00:13:01,245 But I kept saying out loud, yeah, 308 00:13:01,265 --> 00:13:04,685 but I don't, I don't know if this is anything I don't know. 309 00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:08,965 And she looked at me, she was very no nonsense. 310 00:13:09,945 --> 00:13:12,885 She looked at me and she was like, she said, 311 00:13:13,185 --> 00:13:15,165 do you pay attention to yourself? 312 00:13:15,745 --> 00:13:17,205 The man just sent you flowers twice 313 00:13:18,025 --> 00:13:20,125 and you are beaming over there. 314 00:13:20,505 --> 00:13:23,845 Who are you fooling thinking this isn't anything? 315 00:13:23,905 --> 00:13:28,285 She was like, imagine he was not part of your life. 316 00:13:28,305 --> 00:13:31,325 And my, apparently my face crumpled . 317 00:13:31,785 --> 00:13:33,325 And I went, no, I don't wanna imagine that. 318 00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:34,885 And she said, I think you have your answer. 319 00:13:34,985 --> 00:13:36,405 She is, she is from the UK 320 00:13:36,425 --> 00:13:38,525 and she's very like, proper sounding British. 321 00:13:38,525 --> 00:13:40,365 Mm-Hmm. . And I was enamored with her accent. 322 00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:43,285 Um, and it just like struck me 323 00:13:43,285 --> 00:13:46,285 and I was like, okay, I'm, I'm living in a little bit 324 00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,805 of denial here 'cause I didn't wanna 325 00:13:47,805 --> 00:13:48,925 get my heart broken again. 326 00:13:49,345 --> 00:13:51,205 And I, it was easier to kind of like, 327 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,005 pretend there was a distance there. 328 00:13:53,005 --> 00:13:55,565 Definitely, definitely was not . 329 00:13:55,825 --> 00:13:58,845 Um, so yeah, I get, I get to have two moments in my, 330 00:13:59,065 --> 00:14:00,445 in my mind that are very clear. 331 00:14:00,905 --> 00:14:03,885 - All right. All - Right. Okay. So next question. 332 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:07,445 Beyond my appearance, . 333 00:14:07,785 --> 00:14:09,165 And I don't think that was a draw, 334 00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:13,285 but whatever, uh, what really caught your eye about me, 335 00:14:13,945 --> 00:14:15,405 - Um, - In the beginning. 336 00:14:15,675 --> 00:14:19,245 - Well, - And, and does it count? 'cause we met online. 337 00:14:19,635 --> 00:14:23,485 Yeah. We didn't know anything physical about one of those. 338 00:14:23,485 --> 00:14:25,965 It was all mental. But then we did get to like Mm-Hmm. 339 00:14:26,005 --> 00:14:27,965 physically meet. So pick whichever one. 340 00:14:28,225 --> 00:14:32,485 - So I mean, for me, I'm, I'm what caught my eye 341 00:14:33,055 --> 00:14:35,485 about you, uh, early on. 342 00:14:36,305 --> 00:14:38,645 You, uh, you understood my sense of humor. 343 00:14:39,515 --> 00:14:41,285 - Well, I was gonna say what caught my eye 344 00:14:41,305 --> 00:14:42,325 was your sense of humor. 345 00:14:42,505 --> 00:14:45,525 See, you were fucking hilarious. . You were so funny. 346 00:14:46,305 --> 00:14:50,205 You're so funny. Apparently dad jokes will get 347 00:14:50,345 --> 00:14:51,445 you into my pants. 348 00:14:51,545 --> 00:14:52,605 But once you're there, then 349 00:14:52,605 --> 00:14:53,805 I'm like, oh God, stop with the jacket. 350 00:14:54,205 --> 00:14:55,965 . They worked once. 351 00:14:55,965 --> 00:14:57,525 They're not allowed to work again. . 352 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:03,125 I mean, that's not fair, but still. Yeah. 353 00:15:03,365 --> 00:15:04,445 'cause we met through our blogs 354 00:15:04,585 --> 00:15:06,365 and it was at about the holidays. 355 00:15:06,365 --> 00:15:07,565 Like it was December, I guess. 356 00:15:08,465 --> 00:15:12,725 And you were posting a naughty slash kinky elf on a 357 00:15:12,725 --> 00:15:13,925 shelf photo series. 358 00:15:14,225 --> 00:15:15,925 Yes. It was delightful. 359 00:15:16,185 --> 00:15:17,325 It was, I mean, 360 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:20,765 I thankfully skipped the elf on the shelf 361 00:15:20,975 --> 00:15:22,005 stuff with my kids. 362 00:15:22,425 --> 00:15:25,565 So fucking grateful. And I knew immediately upon seeing Elf 363 00:15:25,565 --> 00:15:28,005 on the shelf that I was grateful for that. 364 00:15:28,505 --> 00:15:30,805 But seeing it done in an adult manner, 365 00:15:30,985 --> 00:15:34,285 in a very tongue in cheek, like, yeah, I know 366 00:15:34,285 --> 00:15:35,605 what I'm doing kind of way. 367 00:15:35,825 --> 00:15:38,405 It was delightful. . 368 00:15:39,185 --> 00:15:40,405 But I only saw that 369 00:15:40,405 --> 00:15:42,885 because you commented on my blog 370 00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:45,165 where I was bleeding all over the screen. 371 00:15:45,325 --> 00:15:46,525 I was in such heartbreak. 372 00:15:47,065 --> 00:15:48,685 Um, and 373 00:15:48,755 --> 00:15:50,565 that was back in the day when there was somebody commented. 374 00:15:50,565 --> 00:15:51,445 I went to see, well, what are, 375 00:15:51,505 --> 00:15:52,565 who are you and what are you doing? 376 00:15:52,565 --> 00:15:54,925 Yeah. And I, I got to see your blog. 377 00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:56,925 And I was like, and we just started talking. Mm-Hmm. 378 00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:58,525 . But yeah, your, your sense 379 00:15:58,525 --> 00:15:59,645 of humor was the first thing. 380 00:15:59,665 --> 00:16:02,165 The second thing, 'cause it, it is, 381 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:03,965 goes hand in hand really? 382 00:16:04,165 --> 00:16:05,885 'cause it was all part and parcel of Mm-Hmm. 383 00:16:05,925 --> 00:16:07,525 , our first few interactions was 384 00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:08,565 how kind you are. 385 00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,685 Like that's the thing that still strikes me is 386 00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:11,925 I'm a raging bitch. 387 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,445 Is it mostly in my head 388 00:16:13,445 --> 00:16:15,965 because I'm a people pleaser who has real, 389 00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:17,725 real bad issues about conflict. 390 00:16:17,795 --> 00:16:20,645 Yeah. But in my head, I'm a bitch from hell. 391 00:16:20,845 --> 00:16:23,245 I think most people would not like me very much. 392 00:16:24,305 --> 00:16:28,405 JB is legitimately, genuinely kind. 393 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,405 Now can he have strong opinions 394 00:16:30,405 --> 00:16:31,685 and think that somebody's an asshole? 395 00:16:31,745 --> 00:16:34,165 Of course. But if you get to a point 396 00:16:34,165 --> 00:16:37,765 where you've made John fucking brownstone think you're a 397 00:16:37,765 --> 00:16:41,925 douche canoe honey, you need to reevaluate your life 398 00:16:42,005 --> 00:16:44,565 because the nice human being on the planet 399 00:16:45,225 --> 00:16:46,285 thinks you're shit. 400 00:16:46,515 --> 00:16:49,005 Okay. Like, you can't beat you will never be 401 00:16:49,005 --> 00:16:50,045 right in that scenario. 402 00:16:50,685 --> 00:16:53,245 like, I still remember back in the day 403 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:55,325 before I corrupted him, how rare it was 404 00:16:55,325 --> 00:16:56,445 for him to say, fuck. 405 00:16:56,675 --> 00:17:00,245 Okay. Like, you knew he was super mad if he said, 406 00:17:00,595 --> 00:17:02,205 fuck, I've corrupted him. 407 00:17:02,205 --> 00:17:03,485 That's less of an issue. 408 00:17:03,545 --> 00:17:05,885 But yeah, your kindness has always been to me. 409 00:17:05,885 --> 00:17:09,125 Like, like it's a, it's a little intimidating. 410 00:17:09,325 --> 00:17:13,005 'cause I know I'm a bit al. Uh, but yeah. 411 00:17:13,145 --> 00:17:15,245 So you were funny and then you were kind like, 412 00:17:15,245 --> 00:17:16,325 you didn't try and hit on me. 413 00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:18,205 I don't even, I'd have to go back 414 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:21,085 and look at the old post where you started commenting, 415 00:17:21,085 --> 00:17:23,965 but I remember your comments being thoughtful and kind. 416 00:17:24,065 --> 00:17:26,805 Mm-Hmm. Then our interactions off of 417 00:17:26,805 --> 00:17:28,245 that when I'm, I was the one 418 00:17:28,245 --> 00:17:29,885 that reached out, which was weird. 419 00:17:29,885 --> 00:17:32,005 Never do that again. But I'm glad it worked out. 420 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,925 Um, you know, you were just always you. 421 00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:37,765 'cause there's not, there's nice and there's kind, right. 422 00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:39,085 Like you're a nice person, 423 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,285 but you actually back up being nice with kindness. 424 00:17:42,685 --> 00:17:45,645 'cause nice is like, you're, you're the persona. Right. 425 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:49,925 You say the, the polite things you and you do, you know, 426 00:17:50,185 --> 00:17:51,525 but you back it up with kindness. 427 00:17:51,705 --> 00:17:52,925 You will be there for somebody. 428 00:17:52,945 --> 00:17:54,525 You will genuinely listen to them. 429 00:17:54,985 --> 00:17:57,965 You will, you know, validate their feelings. 430 00:17:58,065 --> 00:18:00,725 You, you know, you will like, I don't know. 431 00:18:02,205 --> 00:18:04,765 I don't know how a cresty old bitch like me. Gotcha. 432 00:18:04,825 --> 00:18:06,805 But grateful for, I guess there just has 433 00:18:06,805 --> 00:18:08,045 to be balanced in the universe. 434 00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:12,445 near my balance. I dunno. 435 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:15,885 - That's pretty extreme. If I'm your balanced kid, 436 00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:17,025 - Boy. 437 00:18:17,025 --> 00:18:17,285 I know. Right? 438 00:18:17,995 --> 00:18:21,165 - Okay. Wow. - Uh, let's see. 439 00:18:21,595 --> 00:18:24,125 Next, uh, one, what do you think some 440 00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:26,725 of my greatest strengths are? 441 00:18:28,225 --> 00:18:33,125 - Um, - Oh no, I'm sorry. You don't have to lie. . 442 00:18:33,235 --> 00:18:34,235 It's okay. 443 00:18:35,565 --> 00:18:38,085 - Actually. Uh, I'm seeing that question. 444 00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:42,085 The, the, the first thing I came up with was how, um, 445 00:18:43,305 --> 00:18:47,245 you make you, you, you, you bolster me. 446 00:18:47,505 --> 00:18:48,765 Mm. Okay. 447 00:18:49,145 --> 00:18:53,325 You're, you're always there in my corner, you know, rooting 448 00:18:53,325 --> 00:18:54,445 for me, tearing me on. 449 00:18:55,855 --> 00:18:57,145 - I'll cut a bitch for you. Don't worry. 450 00:18:57,705 --> 00:19:00,185 probably go to jail for you. Just saying, 451 00:19:01,665 --> 00:19:06,625 - I mean, you know, establish dominance quickly. 452 00:19:07,185 --> 00:19:09,505 , um, I don't have, you know Yeah. 453 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,225 Money to bail you out. I'm sorry. No, 454 00:19:11,225 --> 00:19:12,225 - God no. 455 00:19:12,225 --> 00:19:12,905 I'm, I'm screwed. Okay. 456 00:19:13,145 --> 00:19:16,225 , I just, you might wanna start a GoFundMe. Okay. 457 00:19:16,385 --> 00:19:20,705 . I'm just saying, you know, I am genuinely 458 00:19:21,825 --> 00:19:24,705 offended that you have not had enough people in your life 459 00:19:24,975 --> 00:19:28,625 that like backed you up and were your personal cheerleader. 460 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:30,705 You're too fucking nice for that kind, 461 00:19:30,905 --> 00:19:31,945 I should say upper for kind. 462 00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:34,065 And see, to me, one of your greatest 463 00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:35,585 strengths is your kindness. 464 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:39,065 People will work with you and talk to you 465 00:19:39,245 --> 00:19:42,025 and offer information and, and advice 466 00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:43,745 and like, want to help you. 467 00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,585 Why? Because you, you're a good guy. 468 00:19:46,815 --> 00:19:49,905 Like you, you know, even though I know 469 00:19:49,935 --> 00:19:51,265 that you're dying on the inside 470 00:19:51,265 --> 00:19:54,025 because a random stranger decided your face was the face, 471 00:19:54,025 --> 00:19:56,145 they were gonna tell their whole life story to . 472 00:19:56,525 --> 00:19:58,665 You will listen to them and you'll engage with them. 473 00:19:58,685 --> 00:20:00,385 And you'll be like, and they like, 474 00:20:00,495 --> 00:20:02,465 feel like they've made a connection to you. 475 00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:05,465 You'll come inside and go, oh my fucking God. 476 00:20:05,885 --> 00:20:08,025 But, you know, and next thing you know, we've got neighbors 477 00:20:08,025 --> 00:20:09,825 who are like, how's John doing? 478 00:20:09,905 --> 00:20:12,185 I, so I'm wearing his, his back brace again. 479 00:20:12,185 --> 00:20:14,225 As I'm like, first of all, 480 00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:15,865 I don't even know your fucking name. 481 00:20:16,025 --> 00:20:17,065 I know all about your house. 482 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,305 And if you've got a dog, I'm 483 00:20:18,465 --> 00:20:19,665 probably on a first name basis. But 484 00:20:20,025 --> 00:20:21,025 - . 485 00:20:21,025 --> 00:20:23,505 - But you know, like that, to me, that is one 486 00:20:23,505 --> 00:20:24,505 of your strengths. 487 00:20:24,605 --> 00:20:27,865 You are in a quiet way. I'm the loud version of this. 488 00:20:27,965 --> 00:20:29,665 You are the very quiet version of this. 489 00:20:29,685 --> 00:20:30,785 You are very tenacious. 490 00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,545 If you decide you can do a thing 491 00:20:32,545 --> 00:20:34,185 or you're willing to try to do a thing, 492 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,065 you get it in your teeth and you don't let go. 493 00:20:37,885 --> 00:20:40,065 I'm similar. We're very similar in that way. 494 00:20:40,845 --> 00:20:45,225 But I am chaotic and loud and brash. And I'm there. 495 00:20:45,325 --> 00:20:47,925 I'm dropping some f-bombs 'cause I'm frustrated. Yeah. 496 00:20:48,265 --> 00:20:50,965 And it's gonna be messy. You just quiet quietly go. 497 00:20:50,965 --> 00:20:52,125 That's true. I go the fuck about doing 498 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,205 - Shit and get, get done. 499 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:55,445 I just, I I just kind of like, you know, 500 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,285 quietly go off in my corner and 501 00:20:57,825 --> 00:20:59,565 - You next, you know, you're like, here's my masterpiece. 502 00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:02,885 I'm working on and I'm over here 503 00:21:02,915 --> 00:21:04,485 with dried tears in my face. 504 00:21:04,485 --> 00:21:08,925 85 post-It notes 33 tabs open per browser. 505 00:21:09,665 --> 00:21:11,885 And I'm like, got half a project to show for it. 506 00:21:12,025 --> 00:21:14,405 But you know, we, we each get there in 507 00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:15,485 - Our own way. Right? Yeah. 508 00:21:15,745 --> 00:21:17,605 - But yeah, you just, I don't know, like, 509 00:21:18,225 --> 00:21:19,725 you don't have a greatest strength. 510 00:21:19,725 --> 00:21:22,805 You have lots of like damn good strengths. 511 00:21:24,765 --> 00:21:27,005 I love you. I love, I'm saying . Okay. 512 00:21:28,315 --> 00:21:31,285 What is your favorite thing for us to do together? 513 00:21:31,605 --> 00:21:34,085 - I know this is gonna sound really, really stupid folks. 514 00:21:35,105 --> 00:21:38,845 Um, but I love when we run errands together. 515 00:21:39,725 --> 00:21:40,765 - I like that too. 516 00:21:41,595 --> 00:21:43,685 It's not my favorite thing, but I like that too. Mm-Hmm. 517 00:21:43,725 --> 00:21:45,485 - . I like that too. I mean, you know, we get 518 00:21:45,545 --> 00:21:47,765 so little time to genuinely be together 519 00:21:47,945 --> 00:21:52,045 and just, you know, enjoy one another. 520 00:21:52,105 --> 00:21:54,085 And I know, you know, sounds silly. 521 00:21:54,085 --> 00:21:55,405 You're running errands, you're, 522 00:21:55,405 --> 00:21:56,645 you're shopping, you're doing this. 523 00:21:56,825 --> 00:21:58,205 But I enjoy that time together. 524 00:21:58,445 --> 00:21:59,685 I look forward to it. Mm-Hmm. . 525 00:22:00,595 --> 00:22:02,645 - Okay. So I agree. I agree. 526 00:22:02,945 --> 00:22:04,005 It was very strange when I went 527 00:22:04,005 --> 00:22:05,565 to the grocery store without you yesterday, . 528 00:22:05,565 --> 00:22:06,765 Like, it used to be that it was like, 529 00:22:06,765 --> 00:22:07,885 oh look, peace and quiet. 530 00:22:07,985 --> 00:22:09,525 I'm with my own thoughts for a little bit. 531 00:22:09,525 --> 00:22:11,125 And now I'm like, Nope, this is wrong. 532 00:22:11,385 --> 00:22:14,445 I'm missing part of part of my soul right now. 533 00:22:14,445 --> 00:22:17,045 What's happening, . And yet I am also 534 00:22:19,505 --> 00:22:22,845 not deep enough for this question 535 00:22:22,845 --> 00:22:24,325 because when I saw this question, 536 00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:27,365 the first thing I thought was anything 537 00:22:27,455 --> 00:22:30,165 where JB is touching my butt, rubbing it, 538 00:22:30,275 --> 00:22:31,965 therefore it smacking it. 539 00:22:32,185 --> 00:22:34,365 Yes, please. chasing me through the house, wanting 540 00:22:34,365 --> 00:22:36,085 to pinch that and or my nipples. 541 00:22:36,595 --> 00:22:39,325 Okay. Like 542 00:22:41,325 --> 00:22:44,765 admiring it, hitting it in that way just to see the jiggle. 543 00:22:44,915 --> 00:22:47,125 Like just to, I mean, and there's a lot there 544 00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:49,645 and there's not a lot of muscle tone anymore. 545 00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:51,725 It's all fucking jiggle. 546 00:22:52,065 --> 00:22:53,605 And he'll just like get into a rhythm. 547 00:22:53,625 --> 00:22:56,485 And I know he's not saying anything. I can't see him. 548 00:22:56,485 --> 00:22:58,085 He is behind me. I know what he's doing 549 00:22:58,665 --> 00:23:03,125 is just like he's hypnotized by the way it moves. 550 00:23:03,305 --> 00:23:04,645 And I'm like, I'm good. 551 00:23:05,105 --> 00:23:08,165 Is it the attention, is it that it just, 552 00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:10,085 anything you do to my butt feels real good? 553 00:23:10,105 --> 00:23:11,525 At least on the outside ? I don't know. 554 00:23:12,405 --> 00:23:15,525 I don't, is it because it's one of my like, serious kinks? 555 00:23:15,885 --> 00:23:19,605 I don't know. But yeah, you're all like deep and thoughtful 556 00:23:19,605 --> 00:23:21,565 and I just wanna spend time running errands 557 00:23:21,565 --> 00:23:22,885 and I'm like, no, I need you to touch my butt. 558 00:23:23,285 --> 00:23:26,765 . It is one of those things where I'm not much for, 559 00:23:27,105 --> 00:23:28,765 you know, public displays of affection. 560 00:23:28,765 --> 00:23:30,365 Mm-Hmm. . Like, I don't dislike it, 561 00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:32,165 but it's not a thing I gravitate towards. 562 00:23:32,265 --> 00:23:34,205 I'm like, no, you could touch my butt in public. 563 00:23:34,275 --> 00:23:37,605 Like, some people like it when a masculine partner touches 564 00:23:37,605 --> 00:23:38,925 like their lower back Yes. 565 00:23:39,035 --> 00:23:40,205 With consent. Mm-Hmm. . Right. 566 00:23:40,205 --> 00:23:42,325 And they find that sexy. And I do, I find that like, kind 567 00:23:42,325 --> 00:23:43,805 of endearing, but I'm like, no, no, you can go lower. 568 00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:45,885 I got, I got an ass down there. There's a lot of it. 569 00:23:45,995 --> 00:23:48,645 There's plenty to grab . It's go for it. It's good. 570 00:23:49,475 --> 00:23:51,205 What would I do if he actually did that in public 571 00:23:51,205 --> 00:23:52,325 outside of a kink space? 572 00:23:52,525 --> 00:23:56,405 I don't know. , but , uh, 573 00:23:56,965 --> 00:23:58,485 I would probably melt right there in the middle 574 00:23:58,485 --> 00:23:59,605 of al these is what I'm saying. 575 00:24:00,025 --> 00:24:03,845 And I don't think anybody signed up for that. . Okay. 576 00:24:05,075 --> 00:24:07,925 What is your happiest memory with me 577 00:24:07,985 --> 00:24:09,405 and what made it so special? 578 00:24:11,965 --> 00:24:13,645 I think it's okay if you don't pick just one. 579 00:24:13,645 --> 00:24:14,925 If you've, if a couple things come 580 00:24:14,925 --> 00:24:16,125 to mind. 'cause a couple things came to 581 00:24:16,125 --> 00:24:18,045 - My mind, you know, a again, and, and, 582 00:24:18,045 --> 00:24:21,425 and it's one of those things that, um, 583 00:24:23,045 --> 00:24:27,025 may sound odd, but to me it, uh, 584 00:24:27,645 --> 00:24:32,505 it meant a lot after we were living in the 585 00:24:32,505 --> 00:24:35,545 apartment and we bought the condo. 586 00:24:37,375 --> 00:24:40,275 Um, you and I renovated it 587 00:24:41,615 --> 00:24:43,995 - And we stayed together through the process. 588 00:24:44,385 --> 00:24:46,635 Yeah. We didn't hate one another at the end of it. 589 00:24:46,955 --> 00:24:50,315 - and, um, you know, 590 00:24:51,215 --> 00:24:52,875 we, we did it together. 591 00:24:53,135 --> 00:24:56,475 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . And Yeah. 592 00:24:56,495 --> 00:25:00,965 You know, we didn't, uh, beat each 593 00:25:00,965 --> 00:25:02,125 other up or, you know, 594 00:25:02,665 --> 00:25:03,665 - Um, yeah. 595 00:25:03,665 --> 00:25:04,205 Well, I mean, I think we fussed 596 00:25:04,205 --> 00:25:05,245 at one another a couple times I'm sure. 597 00:25:05,245 --> 00:25:07,645 Yeah. It helped. We had some weird ass neighbors, 598 00:25:07,705 --> 00:25:11,085 so like we could like turn our frustration 599 00:25:12,595 --> 00:25:13,765 away from each other Yeah. 600 00:25:13,835 --> 00:25:15,445 Into the, the solidarity of 601 00:25:15,445 --> 00:25:17,125 what the fuck is wrong with that bitch. 602 00:25:17,275 --> 00:25:19,725 Like, it was, it was helpful, I think. Yeah. 603 00:25:19,915 --> 00:25:22,365 Look, she came peering in through our bedroom 604 00:25:22,365 --> 00:25:23,365 - Window. 605 00:25:23,365 --> 00:25:23,685 Bigger window. Yeah. Which 606 00:25:23,685 --> 00:25:25,845 - Was at the back of the condo. 607 00:25:25,935 --> 00:25:28,165 Right. And what was the amount basically 608 00:25:28,165 --> 00:25:29,325 amounted to our backyard? 609 00:25:30,485 --> 00:25:31,505 - Mm-Hmm. - . Thank God 610 00:25:31,505 --> 00:25:32,585 we weren't getting freaky in there. 611 00:25:32,635 --> 00:25:34,185 Right. We just paint a damn wall. 612 00:25:34,535 --> 00:25:37,585 - Yeah. But, um, you know, yeah. 613 00:25:37,645 --> 00:25:40,385 The, the fact that, that we did it together. 614 00:25:40,445 --> 00:25:44,265 We worked together, uh, we worked very well together 615 00:25:45,405 --> 00:25:48,305 and we got it done. 616 00:25:48,525 --> 00:25:51,305 And not only did we get it done, but we did a damn good job. 617 00:25:51,725 --> 00:25:53,425 - We did. I was proud of that condo. Yeah. 618 00:25:54,105 --> 00:25:57,105 I wish we could still have that, uh, house payment. We 619 00:25:57,105 --> 00:25:59,105 - Had a condo - That was delightful. 620 00:25:59,175 --> 00:26:01,425 Yeah. Even with the HOA that was delightful. 621 00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:05,185 . Um, okay. You good? Yeah. Okay. 622 00:26:05,285 --> 00:26:08,185 So your turn. So I've got a few and they Okay. Oh, a few. 623 00:26:08,495 --> 00:26:09,505 Well, two. Well, 624 00:26:09,645 --> 00:26:11,545 my mind is scattered, so will I remember them all? 625 00:26:11,705 --> 00:26:12,785 Probably not. The first one that comes 626 00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:16,865 to mind is from the time we first met in person. 627 00:26:17,005 --> 00:26:20,825 Mm-Hmm. , um, against all good advice. Yeah. 628 00:26:21,585 --> 00:26:22,905 I would not recommend this for anybody, 629 00:26:22,925 --> 00:26:24,825 but this is what I fucking did and it worked. 630 00:26:25,645 --> 00:26:28,865 Um, I purposely, I left my front door unlocked. 631 00:26:28,905 --> 00:26:30,385 I knew he was on his way. We'd been in communication. 632 00:26:30,385 --> 00:26:31,385 I was like, just walk in. 633 00:26:31,455 --> 00:26:32,505 Like, when you get here, you don't 634 00:26:32,505 --> 00:26:33,545 have to knock, just walk in. 635 00:26:33,765 --> 00:26:38,625 The reason being, I was 10, 15 feet away from the front door 636 00:26:39,325 --> 00:26:42,545 on my knees just wearing a button down purple 637 00:26:43,255 --> 00:26:44,765 men's dress shirt button down, 638 00:26:44,765 --> 00:26:47,085 like doing a pose, whatever. 639 00:26:47,145 --> 00:26:50,005 And what I wanted was to surprise him, 640 00:26:50,095 --> 00:26:52,965 shock the hell outta him, and then get, I don't think I knew 641 00:26:52,965 --> 00:26:56,045 that's what I wanted, but when I got it, I was like, oh, 642 00:26:56,645 --> 00:26:58,765 I never not want to get that reaction. 643 00:26:58,825 --> 00:27:01,885 He literally gasped like it was like this low. 644 00:27:01,885 --> 00:27:04,485 Like he wasn't, we were still too new with one another 645 00:27:04,585 --> 00:27:06,325 and we weren't, I don't think comfortable 646 00:27:07,355 --> 00:27:09,125 with each other in our role. 647 00:27:09,265 --> 00:27:11,485 So like he still had that thought of this is 648 00:27:11,485 --> 00:27:15,695 how a dom is supposed to sort of appear and be and act. 649 00:27:15,695 --> 00:27:17,375 And I sort of still had this, okay, this is 650 00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:18,855 how I'm supposed to be as a submissive. 651 00:27:19,275 --> 00:27:22,095 And it was more based on stereotypes than preference. 652 00:27:22,915 --> 00:27:27,375 And so I have always loved getting a 653 00:27:27,615 --> 00:27:29,495 positive reaction from people. 654 00:27:29,835 --> 00:27:31,335 Uh, it makes me feel really proud. 655 00:27:31,755 --> 00:27:33,335 And when it's like sexually charged 656 00:27:33,475 --> 00:27:35,535 or tinkly charged, I'm here for it. 657 00:27:35,975 --> 00:27:39,855 . Um, and he kept his composure. 658 00:27:39,855 --> 00:27:42,215 Like the moment he saw what I was doing, he understood, 659 00:27:42,235 --> 00:27:43,415 oh, we're playing now. 660 00:27:43,875 --> 00:27:47,135 But before he put on the dom voice, he did this little, 661 00:27:47,445 --> 00:27:49,135 just little intake of breath. 662 00:27:49,155 --> 00:27:51,855 And I went, no, that's fucking power. Okay. 663 00:27:51,995 --> 00:27:54,415 I'm fucking here for, I have never forgotten that. 664 00:27:55,155 --> 00:27:58,855 Um, oh God, did I already let go? 665 00:27:58,915 --> 00:28:03,415 Oh, now I remember the other one that brings a huge smile 666 00:28:03,415 --> 00:28:07,375 to my face was the first time we seen 667 00:28:07,595 --> 00:28:11,095 and we let our daddy dom baby girl sides Mm-Hmm. 668 00:28:11,095 --> 00:28:14,775 Come into typically when we seen it's very sadist masochist 669 00:28:14,995 --> 00:28:19,455 and or it's very, like there's no definition to this. 670 00:28:19,475 --> 00:28:22,375 So this is just a vibe that I feel that I 671 00:28:23,015 --> 00:28:25,655 wouldn't expect anybody else to kind of understand or, 672 00:28:25,675 --> 00:28:26,735 or agree with or whatever. 673 00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:30,175 Very much a dom sub, he's in control 674 00:28:30,635 --> 00:28:33,615 and I am being a good little obedient sub. 675 00:28:33,715 --> 00:28:35,895 And I try to be that anyway. I want to be a good girl. 676 00:28:35,895 --> 00:28:37,135 That is, that makes me happy. 677 00:28:37,675 --> 00:28:42,335 But when, when the daddy dom baby girl side like 678 00:28:42,925 --> 00:28:47,295 overlap that we become very playful is very playful. 679 00:28:47,295 --> 00:28:49,655 Mm-Hmm. . It's where I'm absolutely giggling 680 00:28:49,675 --> 00:28:51,455 as I'm getting my ass beat, 681 00:28:51,915 --> 00:28:53,975 but also going, no daddy, no, no. 682 00:28:53,975 --> 00:28:56,815 When we really know, I'm like, yes, more daddy place. 683 00:28:57,435 --> 00:29:00,815 Um, and the first time we did it, it was . 684 00:29:00,995 --> 00:29:02,135 It reminded me a little bit 685 00:29:02,135 --> 00:29:04,895 of the first time I called you daddy when I was sort 686 00:29:04,895 --> 00:29:07,375 of convinced that you probably, you probably were daddy dom 687 00:29:07,375 --> 00:29:08,535 and you were still a little resistant. 688 00:29:08,535 --> 00:29:09,815 And I was like, let's, let's just 689 00:29:10,565 --> 00:29:12,095 jump out on this limb here. 690 00:29:12,235 --> 00:29:14,015 And I did it. And then your reaction was bigger. 691 00:29:14,015 --> 00:29:16,775 Like, I wasn't sure, but I felt it in my gut. Mm-Hmm. 692 00:29:16,815 --> 00:29:19,095 . And then I was right. You know, um, this, 693 00:29:19,095 --> 00:29:21,775 that was another one of those moments where I got giggly 694 00:29:21,775 --> 00:29:24,175 and then when in my head I was like, should I have giggled? 695 00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:27,775 But I giggled and then his little sadistic daddy, 696 00:29:28,115 --> 00:29:30,375 bratty daddy gleam got design. 697 00:29:31,515 --> 00:29:33,375 And it's still like one 698 00:29:33,375 --> 00:29:37,215 of my like top kink scenes we've ever done together. 699 00:29:37,475 --> 00:29:38,735 And it wasn't even for like 700 00:29:38,735 --> 00:29:40,655 what we physically did, it was all impact. 701 00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:42,365 I know that much. It was 702 00:29:42,365 --> 00:29:43,525 because we were, 703 00:29:44,785 --> 00:29:47,405 we were playing in like the truest sense at that point. 704 00:29:47,515 --> 00:29:51,565 Like Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. So. Okay. Those are mine. 705 00:29:51,565 --> 00:29:52,645 Okay. Alright. Alright. 706 00:29:53,145 --> 00:29:55,405 Ah, this one I think we could talk about together. Yeah. 707 00:29:56,035 --> 00:29:57,925 What was our wedding day like? 708 00:29:59,215 --> 00:30:03,045 Chaos, just like the rest of our life. Chaotic . 709 00:30:03,305 --> 00:30:05,565 And yet it all went according to plan, 710 00:30:05,905 --> 00:30:07,405 unlike the rest of our fucking life. 711 00:30:07,475 --> 00:30:11,205 Yeah. Uh, so our wedding was kept very simple. Mm-Hmm. 712 00:30:11,245 --> 00:30:12,965 . We, uh, paid for it in cash ourselves. 713 00:30:12,985 --> 00:30:15,165 It cost me a grand total of about $2,500. 714 00:30:15,785 --> 00:30:18,605 Um, where we lived in the Tampa Bay area, 715 00:30:19,345 --> 00:30:23,005 you could get married on these dinner yacht cruise things. 716 00:30:23,185 --> 00:30:25,565 Mm-Hmm. . And it was an all one 717 00:30:25,565 --> 00:30:26,725 and done in the package thing. 718 00:30:26,785 --> 00:30:27,885 You would get married 719 00:30:27,985 --> 00:30:30,725 by like the ship's captain if you did not have a person. 720 00:30:31,385 --> 00:30:32,565 We were supposed to have a person. 721 00:30:32,625 --> 00:30:34,445 And then actually my aunt stepped in 722 00:30:34,445 --> 00:30:35,605 and ended up doing it for us. 723 00:30:36,725 --> 00:30:38,565 'cause she was a notary and good . Mm-Hmm. 724 00:30:38,605 --> 00:30:40,085 . But you got married on the ship 725 00:30:40,145 --> 00:30:43,085 before it boarded your guests got to come aboard 726 00:30:43,085 --> 00:30:44,965 before everybody else for the, the ceremony. 727 00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:47,125 And then you got to have like your own kinda like 728 00:30:47,155 --> 00:30:49,445 section where Mm-Hmm. 729 00:30:49,485 --> 00:30:51,645 you had dinner and drinks and the cake 730 00:30:51,665 --> 00:30:52,845 and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 731 00:30:53,145 --> 00:30:54,445 We have very small group. 732 00:30:54,745 --> 00:30:57,405 We didn't know a lot of people want a lot of people there. 733 00:30:57,435 --> 00:31:00,005 Like we, it was all but like one 734 00:31:00,005 --> 00:31:02,885 or two people that were there had no 735 00:31:02,885 --> 00:31:04,045 clue about our kink life. 736 00:31:04,245 --> 00:31:05,765 . Like none. We did 737 00:31:05,765 --> 00:31:06,845 have a couple of kink friends there. 738 00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:08,405 Yes. Which was nice. Um, 739 00:31:09,825 --> 00:31:12,125 and it, it went smoothly. 740 00:31:12,295 --> 00:31:13,725 There was no cleanup. 741 00:31:13,945 --> 00:31:15,765 The most I had to worry about was I went 742 00:31:15,765 --> 00:31:17,965 and got my hair done and I got my makeup done 743 00:31:18,265 --> 00:31:19,645 and we were still broke ass 744 00:31:19,645 --> 00:31:20,925 bitches then for different reasons. 745 00:31:21,385 --> 00:31:23,525 And so I went to the Avita school 746 00:31:24,425 --> 00:31:28,285 and asked for their top person, like whoever, like, 747 00:31:28,465 --> 00:31:30,045 you know, not just their brand new student 748 00:31:30,045 --> 00:31:31,085 who started two days ago. 749 00:31:31,585 --> 00:31:33,645 Um, and I had curls in my hair 750 00:31:33,825 --> 00:31:35,725 and the makeup melted off very quickly. 751 00:31:36,345 --> 00:31:40,165 Uh, . And I had a purple dress. Mm-Hmm. 752 00:31:40,205 --> 00:31:45,085 and I cheese grinned my way down the aisle. 753 00:31:45,265 --> 00:31:48,125 And purple kids. I did my no, converse. Converse. 754 00:31:48,125 --> 00:31:49,885 That's right. Still have those. Um, 755 00:31:51,065 --> 00:31:52,405 and had a little, um, 756 00:31:53,235 --> 00:31:55,605 silvery gray like lin thing under the 757 00:31:55,605 --> 00:31:56,685 skirt so it poofed out. 758 00:31:56,945 --> 00:32:01,925 Oh my god. And I had gone, I had, uh, not had sugar 759 00:32:02,385 --> 00:32:05,165 for six to eight weeks prior to, 760 00:32:05,265 --> 00:32:07,925 so I was like at my slimmest, which was that healthy 761 00:32:08,645 --> 00:32:09,845 mentally, but No. 762 00:32:10,625 --> 00:32:12,565 But did I look really good in that fucking dress? 763 00:32:12,905 --> 00:32:13,925 Yes, I did. Yep. 764 00:32:14,785 --> 00:32:18,685 And every picture that anybody got of us from that night, 765 00:32:20,545 --> 00:32:21,725 cheesy fucking grin. 766 00:32:21,725 --> 00:32:23,645 Mm-Hmm. . And then somebody 767 00:32:24,155 --> 00:32:26,885 kept handing me drinks and so then the grin got cheesier 768 00:32:27,345 --> 00:32:30,125 and did I get on the dance floor and do the chacha slide 769 00:32:30,125 --> 00:32:31,325 and the cban shovel 770 00:32:31,665 --> 00:32:33,365 and all of the silly little dances. 771 00:32:33,445 --> 00:32:35,605 I know. Yes I did. Mm-Hmm. . 772 00:32:36,115 --> 00:32:38,645 Both boys were supposed to walk me down the aisle. 773 00:32:39,225 --> 00:32:41,245 Uh, they got shy at the last minute, 774 00:32:41,345 --> 00:32:43,045 so I dragged them down the 775 00:32:43,045 --> 00:32:44,045 - Aisle. 776 00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:44,485 , you walked them down the aisle? 777 00:32:44,725 --> 00:32:49,165 - I did because it was time , but yeah. 778 00:32:51,385 --> 00:32:53,445 Did we have a kink scene that night? No. 779 00:32:54,145 --> 00:32:57,325 Did we go to Waffle House though? Yeah. At midnight. Yeah. 780 00:32:57,725 --> 00:32:59,885 Apparently we got married on like homecoming night. 781 00:32:59,885 --> 00:33:03,005 And so all the kids had all at all the high schools there. 782 00:33:03,355 --> 00:33:06,485 - Well, yeah. I mean a after, after the wedding was done 783 00:33:06,585 --> 00:33:09,605 and you know, we boarded and everybody Yeah. 784 00:33:09,635 --> 00:33:10,685 Disembarked and everybody. 785 00:33:10,835 --> 00:33:12,325 - Yeah. That was a nice thing. You had a set end point 786 00:33:12,345 --> 00:33:13,365 for the whole damn Yeah. 787 00:33:13,365 --> 00:33:15,605 Thing because you had to get off the fucking boat. Right. 788 00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:19,925 - And um, you know, we decided even though we'd been, 789 00:33:21,425 --> 00:33:23,365 you know, partying, having some drinks 790 00:33:23,465 --> 00:33:25,885 and eating wedding cake and all that 791 00:33:26,265 --> 00:33:28,285 - Was the wedding cake purple. Yes. The fuck it was 792 00:33:28,645 --> 00:33:29,645 - . 793 00:33:29,645 --> 00:33:32,805 But, um, still deciding, you know, let's go get a a a piece 794 00:33:32,805 --> 00:33:34,605 of cake or pie and something. 795 00:33:34,745 --> 00:33:36,965 Get, have a cup of coffee and Yeah. 796 00:33:36,965 --> 00:33:38,965 We went to two, two different restaurants 797 00:33:38,965 --> 00:33:40,525 and apparently it was homecoming night 798 00:33:40,545 --> 00:33:42,445 and the restaurants were packed out 799 00:33:42,945 --> 00:33:45,125 and uh, yeah, we ended up at, uh, 800 00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:48,365 waffle House. Yep. . 801 00:33:48,785 --> 00:33:51,445 - Yep. And my mom took both kids for the night. 802 00:33:51,585 --> 00:33:53,605 It was supposed to be a, it was a kid free night. 803 00:33:53,855 --> 00:33:55,445 There was no fuckery. Mm-Hmm. 804 00:33:55,445 --> 00:33:59,195 There was no fucking, we did nothing that night except eat. 805 00:33:59,295 --> 00:34:02,435 And then at that point I thought my, my dress was going pop. 806 00:34:02,615 --> 00:34:04,835 - We were exhausted. - We were also exhausted. 807 00:34:05,015 --> 00:34:09,355 We were finally fucking married. . Yeah. Yes. 808 00:34:09,415 --> 00:34:13,755 So yeah, that was what our wedding day was like. Okay. 809 00:34:14,165 --> 00:34:16,915 Right now in the here and now. Mm-Hmm. 810 00:34:16,955 --> 00:34:20,155 of our lives. What is the thing you appreciate 811 00:34:20,335 --> 00:34:21,515 the most about me? 812 00:34:21,655 --> 00:34:22,835 And then of course I'll say 813 00:34:22,835 --> 00:34:23,875 the thing I appreciate most about 814 00:34:23,875 --> 00:34:26,355 - You, you know, for, for a couple years now, 815 00:34:26,455 --> 00:34:28,475 we have been going, going through 816 00:34:29,895 --> 00:34:30,895 - It. 817 00:34:31,045 --> 00:34:32,575 - Yeah. has - Been going through 818 00:34:32,575 --> 00:34:34,535 - It with a capital s 819 00:34:36,155 --> 00:34:40,415 and, you know, it's, 820 00:34:40,565 --> 00:34:42,655 it's been, it's been tough. 821 00:34:42,955 --> 00:34:47,425 Mm-Hmm. . And yet you are always there. 822 00:34:48,245 --> 00:34:50,385 You you are like a rock. You 823 00:34:50,385 --> 00:34:51,385 - Can't get rid of me. 824 00:34:51,395 --> 00:34:52,545 Sorry. . 825 00:34:54,525 --> 00:34:58,105 - And, and you know, you, you're just there and, 826 00:34:58,165 --> 00:35:00,815 and you know, we're gonna get through this. 827 00:35:00,815 --> 00:35:02,055 We're we, we're gonna do it. 828 00:35:02,275 --> 00:35:04,215 You know, and, and you just keep that 829 00:35:06,415 --> 00:35:07,415 - A little secret. 830 00:35:07,445 --> 00:35:11,735 Yeah. I hope it doesn't like change how you feel. Uhoh Uhoh. 831 00:35:12,255 --> 00:35:17,015 I, I am, my automatic nature is to be optimistic to believe 832 00:35:17,015 --> 00:35:18,575 that everything is figureoutable. 833 00:35:18,965 --> 00:35:20,735 Yeah. Um, and, 834 00:35:20,915 --> 00:35:22,855 and to know from experience, we will get through it. 835 00:35:22,855 --> 00:35:24,495 I don't know what through is gonna look like 836 00:35:24,495 --> 00:35:26,175 and I don't know what it's gonna look like on the other 837 00:35:26,175 --> 00:35:28,135 side, but you come through everything. 838 00:35:28,795 --> 00:35:32,935 Um, but I keep my optimism up 839 00:35:34,105 --> 00:35:36,475 when I'm not feeling it for you 840 00:35:36,995 --> 00:35:41,405 because you, my my lovely cancer man 841 00:35:42,345 --> 00:35:44,445 are like a crab and you will withdraw onto your shell 842 00:35:44,445 --> 00:35:46,405 and you'll get pessimistic and you'll get grumpy 843 00:35:46,545 --> 00:35:49,285 and you'll stop believing in what's possible. 844 00:35:49,545 --> 00:35:54,085 Grumpy by nature. uh, . 845 00:35:56,825 --> 00:36:01,165 And so my optimism is not a constant. 846 00:36:01,525 --> 00:36:03,245 I don't walk around with stars in my 847 00:36:03,245 --> 00:36:04,405 eyes all the fucking time. 848 00:36:04,945 --> 00:36:05,965 And I get down 849 00:36:06,705 --> 00:36:08,605 and I recently, up 850 00:36:08,605 --> 00:36:10,925 until like super recently when we both got 851 00:36:10,925 --> 00:36:12,005 to have a little bit of hope, again, 852 00:36:12,475 --> 00:36:15,565 I've been questioning whether I was foolish to be 853 00:36:15,625 --> 00:36:16,725 so optimistic 854 00:36:17,395 --> 00:36:21,405 because it was like, have I not seen things? 855 00:36:21,955 --> 00:36:25,325 Have I had turned away from realities? Mm-Hmm. 856 00:36:25,365 --> 00:36:27,565 because I'm being too optimistic. 857 00:36:28,225 --> 00:36:31,525 And yet I know we kind of have to balance one another. 858 00:36:32,425 --> 00:36:35,085 Um, because you can go overly pessimistic 859 00:36:35,085 --> 00:36:37,645 and I don't think that's useful, just as it's not useful 860 00:36:37,825 --> 00:36:39,365 for me to be too optimistic. 861 00:36:39,365 --> 00:36:40,445 Too optimistic. Yeah. Right. Like, I 862 00:36:40,445 --> 00:36:41,605 don't need to be unrealistic. 863 00:36:41,605 --> 00:36:43,725 Mm-Hmm. and like pie in the sky bullshit 864 00:36:43,745 --> 00:36:46,605 and then, you know, whatever and not admit reality. 865 00:36:47,105 --> 00:36:49,405 Um, so I often, I actually worry 866 00:36:49,405 --> 00:36:51,405 that you think I'm being foolish for being 867 00:36:51,405 --> 00:36:52,605 so optimistic sometimes. 868 00:36:52,605 --> 00:36:54,525 Mm-Hmm. . So I kind of, I kind 869 00:36:54,525 --> 00:36:55,885 of like knowing that you're like, no, no, no. 870 00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:58,005 Actually, I actually appreciate it. Yeah. . Yep. 871 00:36:58,585 --> 00:37:00,285 Um, right now 872 00:37:01,515 --> 00:37:04,885 there's like about a million things I appreciate about you 873 00:37:04,885 --> 00:37:07,405 that's just all wrapped up into you being John Brownstone. 874 00:37:07,985 --> 00:37:12,405 But in our very recent, like even this past few weeks, 875 00:37:12,705 --> 00:37:16,325 the thing I've appreciated the most, two things really. 876 00:37:17,185 --> 00:37:21,525 One, you continue to be a safe person for me to be 877 00:37:22,075 --> 00:37:23,325 exactly who I am. 878 00:37:23,425 --> 00:37:24,765 And that can mean a lot of different 879 00:37:24,765 --> 00:37:25,845 things from moment to moment. 880 00:37:26,165 --> 00:37:29,245 . Um, so like, I don't, 881 00:37:30,155 --> 00:37:32,365 it's why I do silly random weird things. 882 00:37:32,605 --> 00:37:35,085 I don't, I'm not worried about your reaction to any of them, 883 00:37:35,085 --> 00:37:37,165 even though he still does sometimes react by going, 884 00:37:37,235 --> 00:37:38,405 what is going on here? 885 00:37:38,725 --> 00:37:41,365 . But I know it's not done with judgment. 886 00:37:41,505 --> 00:37:43,245 So like, I, I am just whatever. 887 00:37:43,825 --> 00:37:46,045 But, um, that is a constant 888 00:37:46,045 --> 00:37:48,845 and ongoing, the thing that I 889 00:37:49,355 --> 00:37:52,085 have appreciated the most is your willingness 890 00:37:53,185 --> 00:37:55,085 to have hard conversations 891 00:37:56,185 --> 00:37:59,325 and to give me, not the space. 892 00:37:59,485 --> 00:38:04,445 'cause I've had the space to support me through 893 00:38:05,345 --> 00:38:06,445 me having to say things 894 00:38:06,445 --> 00:38:08,405 that I consider tough things to say to you. 895 00:38:08,875 --> 00:38:10,685 Like the other day, like just a day 896 00:38:10,685 --> 00:38:12,725 or 24 hours ago, I think we kind of had 897 00:38:12,725 --> 00:38:13,765 to have a serious conversation. 898 00:38:14,065 --> 00:38:17,445 JB was saying, Hey, here's a thing that's gonna happen. 899 00:38:17,605 --> 00:38:19,085 I would like it to happen. What do you think? 900 00:38:20,025 --> 00:38:22,965 And I, he got my sort of unabridged, 901 00:38:22,965 --> 00:38:25,005 unadulterated feelings in the moment, 902 00:38:25,375 --> 00:38:28,445 which was I support this thing, but also here. 903 00:38:28,915 --> 00:38:30,845 Yeah. Here's where it's still fucking tough. 904 00:38:31,585 --> 00:38:33,925 And I walked away from that encounter going, God, I was kind 905 00:38:33,925 --> 00:38:35,540 of aggressive and when I got got home I 906 00:38:35,540 --> 00:38:36,565 had to like, go to the store or whatever. 907 00:38:36,965 --> 00:38:39,965 I, I, you know, I was like, I'm, I'm sorry if I was sort 908 00:38:39,965 --> 00:38:41,765 of aggressive and kind of a bitch about that. 909 00:38:41,945 --> 00:38:44,445 And his response was, you were none of those things. Mm-Hmm. 910 00:38:44,485 --> 00:38:46,405 you were entirely appropriate. 911 00:38:46,505 --> 00:38:50,085 And all I could think was I am like one 912 00:38:50,085 --> 00:38:53,845 of the luckiest humans alive that you do. 913 00:38:54,465 --> 00:38:58,805 You see me for who I am and you are comfortable with it. 914 00:38:58,805 --> 00:39:01,125 Even if when we're in the midst of uncomfortable things 915 00:39:01,985 --> 00:39:06,045 and you, I think, you know, that it is kind of my, 916 00:39:07,905 --> 00:39:11,085 um, gut instinct to 917 00:39:11,605 --> 00:39:14,485 withhold those kinds of negative feelings 918 00:39:14,785 --> 00:39:15,845 and to just go, it's fine. 919 00:39:15,845 --> 00:39:17,725 Everything's fine. It's gonna be fine. We'll figure it out. 920 00:39:17,835 --> 00:39:19,725 It's fine. And well, there's also that . 921 00:39:20,385 --> 00:39:24,685 And so when I get firm and assertive Mm-Hmm. 922 00:39:24,725 --> 00:39:26,845 , you don't shy away from that. No. 923 00:39:26,945 --> 00:39:30,405 You're like, you either give as good as you get, which 924 00:39:30,425 --> 00:39:31,565 that's then when I cry 925 00:39:31,565 --> 00:39:32,845 because that's the kind of person I am. 926 00:39:33,505 --> 00:39:35,245 Or you just support me through it. Yeah. 927 00:39:35,245 --> 00:39:36,405 You're like, you know, 928 00:39:37,155 --> 00:39:39,485 - Well, you know, let, let's put this into perspective. 929 00:39:39,545 --> 00:39:40,805 Mm-Hmm. . Okay. You know, I'm 930 00:39:40,805 --> 00:39:41,925 - Gonna get my hair clip while you're 931 00:39:41,925 --> 00:39:42,925 - Putting things into perspective. 932 00:39:42,925 --> 00:39:44,725 You, you, you, you talk about, you know, being 933 00:39:45,735 --> 00:39:47,565 aggressive Okay. 934 00:39:47,705 --> 00:39:51,245 In the conversation. Understand something. 935 00:39:51,945 --> 00:39:55,565 You have met my blood family. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Okay. 936 00:39:56,235 --> 00:39:58,965 That is not aggressive . No. 937 00:40:00,185 --> 00:40:03,085 - But I unfortunately was raised 938 00:40:04,305 --> 00:40:06,885 to believe incorrectly 939 00:40:08,035 --> 00:40:13,005 that stating your opinion firmly is talking back, 940 00:40:13,265 --> 00:40:18,245 is rude, is uncalled for, is not what, you know, 941 00:40:18,905 --> 00:40:21,205 air quote this real fucking hell like good girls do. 942 00:40:21,205 --> 00:40:24,365 Mm. Like there's a way that I was raised, I was expected 943 00:40:24,365 --> 00:40:27,165 to behave and I internalized it so fucking hard. 944 00:40:27,265 --> 00:40:29,565 I'm like, you know what, this is painful and hard, 945 00:40:29,565 --> 00:40:31,245 but I'm gonna be really damn good at it. 946 00:40:31,745 --> 00:40:33,325 And here we're at age 44 947 00:40:33,345 --> 00:40:36,445 and I, I find it very difficult to let go of that. 948 00:40:36,825 --> 00:40:38,565 Mm-Hmm. . And you're just like, look, 949 00:40:38,845 --> 00:40:40,765 I love you when you're got the zoomies 950 00:40:40,785 --> 00:40:42,685 at 11 o'clock at night. Right. 951 00:40:43,325 --> 00:40:45,485 - I - Love you when you're a raging bitch at 952 00:40:45,485 --> 00:40:47,565 11:00 AM so we're good. 953 00:40:48,545 --> 00:40:50,125 Um, yeah. 954 00:40:50,345 --> 00:40:52,805 And I think that the communication part just goes 955 00:40:52,805 --> 00:40:53,885 back to you being a safe person. 956 00:40:53,905 --> 00:40:55,285 Mm-Hmm. . Like, I will always 957 00:40:55,285 --> 00:40:56,445 appreciate about that, about you. 958 00:40:56,445 --> 00:40:59,805 Yeah. It doesn't mean you don't have, we don't disagree 959 00:41:00,065 --> 00:41:02,285 and it doesn't mean you don't have your own strong opinions 960 00:41:02,285 --> 00:41:06,195 that are sometimes, you know, not opposite of mine, 961 00:41:06,195 --> 00:41:08,075 but in, in conflict with mine. 962 00:41:08,075 --> 00:41:09,475 Like that does happen. Mm-Hmm. . 963 00:41:09,735 --> 00:41:12,315 But even then you continue to be like, yeah, just, 964 00:41:12,315 --> 00:41:13,355 just tell me what it is. 965 00:41:14,175 --> 00:41:16,275 The biggest problem is not you wanting 966 00:41:16,275 --> 00:41:17,875 to hear from me and struggling with that. 967 00:41:17,875 --> 00:41:20,035 You don't struggle with that at all. The biggest problem is 968 00:41:20,095 --> 00:41:23,035 me getting you to, to tell me what you're thinking 969 00:41:23,545 --> 00:41:26,155 because you still carry your old, you know, 970 00:41:26,155 --> 00:41:27,435 stuff from previous Yeah. 971 00:41:27,535 --> 00:41:29,075 You know, gotta love the trauma. 972 00:41:29,535 --> 00:41:33,605 Um, but we can be that way for one another. Yeah. 973 00:41:33,865 --> 00:41:36,245 Do Is it like pulling fucking teeth from him sometimes? 974 00:41:36,435 --> 00:41:39,725 Yeah. Yeah. Do I have to tease and zoom me it out of him? 975 00:41:39,985 --> 00:41:43,525 Yes. . He just has to look at me cross-eyed. 976 00:41:43,525 --> 00:41:45,725 I'm like, let me tell you what I'm thinking right now. 977 00:41:46,525 --> 00:41:49,645 - . - So, okay. 978 00:41:52,115 --> 00:41:53,885 Okay. Next one. 979 00:41:54,595 --> 00:41:57,885 What parts of the relationship are going really well? 980 00:41:58,125 --> 00:41:59,605 I would say communication. . Uh, 981 00:41:59,765 --> 00:42:01,885 - I, that's exactly the same thing I was thinking. 982 00:42:02,785 --> 00:42:05,205 Um, you know, through, through everything 983 00:42:05,205 --> 00:42:09,005 that we have been going through, um, 984 00:42:10,105 --> 00:42:13,645 you know, not rightfully so that, you know, being stressed 985 00:42:13,645 --> 00:42:15,765 that we, we haven't fussed with one another. 986 00:42:15,945 --> 00:42:20,685 We have. But I, I think the big difference 987 00:42:22,185 --> 00:42:26,005 in, in what has happened, we fuss at one another. 988 00:42:26,715 --> 00:42:30,045 Okay. But at the end of it all, 989 00:42:30,945 --> 00:42:34,285 we either have a plan for a resolution 990 00:42:35,505 --> 00:42:37,325 or we are working Mm-Hmm. 991 00:42:37,365 --> 00:42:40,805 towards putting together something to, 992 00:42:41,465 --> 00:42:44,125 you know, resolve what we, what we were fussing about. 993 00:42:44,945 --> 00:42:48,405 So, you know. Yeah, definitely, definitely communication. 994 00:42:48,875 --> 00:42:52,285 - Yeah. And I think, um, planning, 995 00:42:52,285 --> 00:42:53,485 which is part of communication. 996 00:42:53,485 --> 00:42:54,885 Mm-Hmm. and our sense of humor. 997 00:42:54,995 --> 00:42:58,285 Like, it, it's been a few weeks, maybe longer since we had, 998 00:42:58,475 --> 00:43:00,845 like, we let ourselves get so stressed that we were arguing, 999 00:43:01,655 --> 00:43:03,125 which neither one of us likes. 1000 00:43:03,265 --> 00:43:04,885 Oh my God. Um, 1001 00:43:06,305 --> 00:43:10,965 and lately what we've done instead is tease each other 1002 00:43:11,905 --> 00:43:14,245 out of the definite bad mood. 1003 00:43:14,245 --> 00:43:15,445 We know the other one might be in 1004 00:43:15,505 --> 00:43:16,645 - The doldrums. Yeah. Right. 1005 00:43:16,985 --> 00:43:17,965 - Mm-Hmm. . Um, and then we 1006 00:43:17,975 --> 00:43:19,245 allow the other one to do that. 1007 00:43:19,315 --> 00:43:21,725 Like, it's, it's not as difficult as you might imagine 1008 00:43:22,065 --> 00:43:23,605 to shut somebody's teasing down 1009 00:43:23,605 --> 00:43:24,685 because you're like, you know what? 1010 00:43:24,845 --> 00:43:27,645 I don't wanna fucking laugh right now. Life sucks too much. 1011 00:43:28,165 --> 00:43:29,965 , you know what? Valid. Okay. . 1012 00:43:30,465 --> 00:43:33,165 Um, but we've been together long enough 1013 00:43:33,165 --> 00:43:35,205 and had enough experience with this that I have 1014 00:43:36,145 --> 00:43:37,565 for the most part, I can kind of fight 1015 00:43:37,565 --> 00:43:38,965 that feeling with you because Mm-Hmm. 1016 00:43:39,005 --> 00:43:41,045 I know that if we let ourselves sink into 1017 00:43:41,045 --> 00:43:43,685 that place, we're gonna end up in an argument 1018 00:43:43,685 --> 00:43:44,685 that is unnecessary. 1019 00:43:44,685 --> 00:43:47,485 Right. Because not once have we ever argued 1020 00:43:47,485 --> 00:43:49,965 because we disagreed about the outcome we 1021 00:43:49,965 --> 00:43:51,965 were trying to achieve. Not once, 1022 00:43:52,145 --> 00:43:52,645 - No. In 1023 00:43:52,645 --> 00:43:54,685 - All of these years we've argued about all kinds of stuff, 1024 00:43:54,745 --> 00:43:55,805 but that was never one 1025 00:43:55,805 --> 00:43:56,805 - Of them come, come out. 1026 00:43:56,805 --> 00:43:57,965 The other side is like, we both want the same 1027 00:43:57,965 --> 00:43:59,245 thing, so. Right. Yeah. 1028 00:43:59,415 --> 00:44:00,965 - Which leads me to the thing I think 1029 00:44:01,385 --> 00:44:03,045 that's going really well in our relationship, 1030 00:44:03,045 --> 00:44:06,165 especially right now, is teamwork and collaboration. 1031 00:44:06,475 --> 00:44:08,565 Yeah. We are working on common goals. Mm-Hmm. 1032 00:44:08,605 --> 00:44:10,685 , we are trying to do it together. 1033 00:44:11,145 --> 00:44:15,645 We have each in our own way offered to, attempted to, 1034 00:44:15,645 --> 00:44:19,245 or made actual sacrifices for the other, not like 1035 00:44:19,755 --> 00:44:21,605 detrimental to our health sacrifices. 1036 00:44:21,605 --> 00:44:23,565 Mm-Hmm. , but doing things that if we, 1037 00:44:23,705 --> 00:44:27,725 you know, could do something different, we would Yeah. 1038 00:44:27,985 --> 00:44:32,445 And we, I think we each see the effort on the other's part 1039 00:44:32,505 --> 00:44:33,645 and then we honor it 1040 00:44:33,745 --> 00:44:37,645 and then we're like, yeah, I'm, I'm mad at the world, 1041 00:44:37,745 --> 00:44:40,325 but I will not be mad at my teammate right now. 1042 00:44:40,885 --> 00:44:42,125 , let's be silly. 1043 00:44:42,125 --> 00:44:44,445 Instead let's cut the tension with some humor. 1044 00:44:45,025 --> 00:44:47,165 Um, because we are trying to get 1045 00:44:47,165 --> 00:44:49,885 to the same place together, you know? 1046 00:44:50,785 --> 00:44:55,085 Um, and right now we're sort of in a cycle where like, 1047 00:44:55,085 --> 00:44:57,165 sometimes what'll happen is that all 1048 00:44:57,165 --> 00:44:59,005 of those things will be true, but our 1049 00:44:59,135 --> 00:45:00,405 moods are polar opposites. 1050 00:45:00,555 --> 00:45:03,365 I'll be super hopeful and JB will be super pessimistic, 1051 00:45:03,935 --> 00:45:07,525 which immediately sort of creates its own tension 1052 00:45:07,865 --> 00:45:08,965 or can anyway. 1053 00:45:09,545 --> 00:45:14,205 And lately I think we've each not been at the extreme 1054 00:45:15,025 --> 00:45:16,245 of our tendencies. 1055 00:45:16,465 --> 00:45:18,445 So j b's not extremely pessimistic. 1056 00:45:18,465 --> 00:45:20,125 I'm not extremely optimistic. 1057 00:45:20,175 --> 00:45:21,885 We're we're closer to the middle 1058 00:45:22,505 --> 00:45:25,565 and so then we can tease one another. 1059 00:45:25,805 --> 00:45:28,085 'cause we don't think the other one's making a joke out 1060 00:45:28,085 --> 00:45:29,205 of a serious situation. 1061 00:45:29,705 --> 00:45:33,085 Or we can sort of check in with each other 1062 00:45:33,425 --> 00:45:35,205 and it not become contentious 1063 00:45:35,865 --> 00:45:38,165 or the one that was happening for a while, 1064 00:45:39,005 --> 00:45:43,205 I would get real hopeful and sometimes maybe incorrectly. 1065 00:45:43,265 --> 00:45:45,605 So like, not really reading the situation correctly. 1066 00:45:46,265 --> 00:45:48,605 And instead of it frustrating him 1067 00:45:48,605 --> 00:45:51,045 because he was like, I don't, I don't believe this, 1068 00:45:51,635 --> 00:45:54,045 this thing you're being this optimistic about. 1069 00:45:54,705 --> 00:45:57,325 Um, he's like, yeah, okay. 1070 00:45:57,325 --> 00:45:59,405 Maybe I've also tempered some of my optimism. 1071 00:45:59,835 --> 00:46:02,565 It's not worked out enough fucking times over the 1072 00:46:02,565 --> 00:46:03,565 - Past - Few years. 1073 00:46:04,305 --> 00:46:06,205 The, uh, the, what is it? 1074 00:46:06,225 --> 00:46:09,365 The sort of wide-eyed, you know, uh, 1075 00:46:09,665 --> 00:46:11,925 - The rose colored glasses, - Rose colored glass, like 1076 00:46:11,925 --> 00:46:12,965 that whole thing that's, 1077 00:46:13,205 --> 00:46:14,885 I just can't even muster that right now. 1078 00:46:14,885 --> 00:46:17,685 Yeah. Like, I'm like, actually I'm, I'm optimistic 1079 00:46:17,685 --> 00:46:18,805 that we will figure this out, 1080 00:46:18,825 --> 00:46:21,125 but is it probably gonna suck on the way 1081 00:46:21,175 --> 00:46:22,285 there? Oh yeah. Yeah. 1082 00:46:22,605 --> 00:46:23,845 - Oh yeah. Oh yeah. 1083 00:46:24,235 --> 00:46:27,005 - Like reality is, has done that one to me. Mm-Hmm. 1084 00:46:27,045 --> 00:46:28,045 . But yeah, I think, I think 1085 00:46:28,045 --> 00:46:30,005 that's what's going well. 1086 00:46:30,115 --> 00:46:32,805 Yeah. Okay. We actually have two questions left. Mm-Hmm. 1087 00:46:32,845 --> 00:46:34,725 . Um, this one is, 1088 00:46:34,745 --> 00:46:35,685 and this one makes me a little 1089 00:46:35,685 --> 00:46:36,845 uncomfortable, but we're gonna do it anyway. 1090 00:46:36,845 --> 00:46:40,005 Mm-Hmm. what do you think most people are 1091 00:46:40,005 --> 00:46:42,085 jealous of about your relationship? 1092 00:46:42,145 --> 00:46:44,005 Now, let me say, tell you why this makes me uncomfortable. 1093 00:46:44,325 --> 00:46:45,445 I do not like to suppose 1094 00:46:45,445 --> 00:46:47,245 what other people think about us. Right. That makes 1095 00:46:47,245 --> 00:46:50,045 - Me very like, I mean, you know, think thinking, I, 1096 00:46:50,245 --> 00:46:52,565 I was kinda looking ahead to that question. 1097 00:46:52,745 --> 00:46:55,685 I'm like, how can I answer that without 1098 00:46:55,685 --> 00:46:57,605 - Sounding like a total asshole? I don't, 1099 00:46:58,205 --> 00:46:59,205 - I mean, yeah. 1100 00:46:59,405 --> 00:47:01,925 I, I don't like that question. 1101 00:47:02,065 --> 00:47:03,885 Strike that question from the books therapy, 1102 00:47:03,955 --> 00:47:04,955 - Jeff. 1103 00:47:04,955 --> 00:47:06,405 I don't, I I disapprove of this question. 1104 00:47:06,495 --> 00:47:09,645 - Right. Right. - So, but you know what, it's 1105 00:47:09,645 --> 00:47:12,965 because we are a couple, we, we put a good portion 1106 00:47:12,985 --> 00:47:15,245 of a relationship out in front of people. 1107 00:47:15,345 --> 00:47:17,925 Mm-Hmm. . So it's actually plausible 1108 00:47:18,045 --> 00:47:21,565 that somebody might feel envious or jealous or whatever. 1109 00:47:21,565 --> 00:47:23,965 Pick a word. And that has always made, you know, 1110 00:47:23,965 --> 00:47:26,085 people have said for years, we did a whole episode on why I 1111 00:47:26,085 --> 00:47:27,805 don't like this, you know, we're relationship goals. 1112 00:47:27,885 --> 00:47:30,005 I don't like that. Uh, if I, 1113 00:47:30,005 --> 00:47:32,285 we can inspire great, but Mm-Hmm. 1114 00:47:32,325 --> 00:47:34,365 , you don't wanna be exactly like us. Right. 1115 00:47:34,425 --> 00:47:36,885 - You need to be your best versus or your best self. Yeah. 1116 00:47:36,885 --> 00:47:38,245 I mean, know over the years we've had a lot of people say, 1117 00:47:38,245 --> 00:47:40,005 oh, I want a relationship just like yours. 1118 00:47:41,155 --> 00:47:43,045 - Well, okay, I hope you don't mind being dead 1119 00:47:43,105 --> 00:47:44,325 ass broke for several years. 1120 00:47:44,845 --> 00:47:46,605 - . Right. And, - And then an 1121 00:47:46,605 --> 00:47:47,965 increasing amount of debt. 1122 00:47:47,965 --> 00:47:49,165 Mm-Hmm. have a good time. 1123 00:47:49,355 --> 00:47:51,045 Hope you keep you sense of humor. Yeah. 1124 00:47:51,225 --> 00:47:54,845 Um, but you know, I, I don't want, I don't want anybody 1125 00:47:54,845 --> 00:47:55,845 to be envious of us. 1126 00:47:56,205 --> 00:47:59,045 I would like for people to have some of the things 1127 00:47:59,045 --> 00:48:01,325 that we have in the way that suits them. 1128 00:48:01,515 --> 00:48:02,925 Sure. With a potential partner. Mm-Hmm. 1129 00:48:02,965 --> 00:48:04,045 , I want you to have open 1130 00:48:04,105 --> 00:48:06,765 and clear communication and that will be hard won. 1131 00:48:06,795 --> 00:48:09,165 Like it Yeah. You gotta battle your own 1132 00:48:09,185 --> 00:48:10,485 issues around communication. 1133 00:48:10,485 --> 00:48:11,245 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Then you've 1134 00:48:11,245 --> 00:48:12,845 gotta do battle with your partner's issues 1135 00:48:12,845 --> 00:48:13,885 around communication. 1136 00:48:13,885 --> 00:48:15,485 Right. Like, I want you to have that. 1137 00:48:15,685 --> 00:48:20,485 I want you to have whatever your, I, you know, 1138 00:48:20,515 --> 00:48:22,685 best version of a especially power exchange 1139 00:48:22,685 --> 00:48:24,005 relationship is for us. 1140 00:48:24,035 --> 00:48:26,085 It's collaborative and there's a lot of teamwork 1141 00:48:26,145 --> 00:48:29,845 and we're very silly and, you know, we 1142 00:48:30,705 --> 00:48:32,925 did I get so sassy today? 1143 00:48:32,965 --> 00:48:34,285 I thought I was gonna have to run out 1144 00:48:34,285 --> 00:48:35,525 of the room and then get chased. 1145 00:48:35,705 --> 00:48:38,205 Yes. . Yes I did. I remember what I said now. Yes. 1146 00:48:38,545 --> 00:48:41,245 And I know for a fact that some of that does not like 1147 00:48:41,245 --> 00:48:42,685 that kind of for the sass Right. 1148 00:48:43,395 --> 00:48:44,845 Does not work for everybody. 1149 00:48:45,405 --> 00:48:47,445 I do think teamwork 1150 00:48:47,445 --> 00:48:49,045 and collaboration in any flavor 1151 00:48:49,065 --> 00:48:50,405 of power exchange is possible. 1152 00:48:50,445 --> 00:48:52,125 I think it'll just look different. Like Mm-Hmm. 1153 00:48:52,165 --> 00:48:54,285 if you're like a high protocol situation 1154 00:48:54,285 --> 00:48:56,605 or there's an owner slave kind of dynamic 1155 00:48:56,745 --> 00:48:59,445 and it's much more what I would consider rigid 1156 00:48:59,545 --> 00:49:01,165 and strict that is subjective. 1157 00:49:01,165 --> 00:49:03,445 Of course, you know, your teamwork 1158 00:49:03,445 --> 00:49:05,325 and collaboration probably won't 1159 00:49:05,325 --> 00:49:06,525 look anything like ours does. 1160 00:49:06,555 --> 00:49:08,805 Yeah. And I don't, I don't give a fuck what it looks like. 1161 00:49:09,045 --> 00:49:11,205 I want everybody to have the opportunity 1162 00:49:11,345 --> 00:49:12,405 for it. Right. But I don't want 1163 00:49:12,405 --> 00:49:13,765 - You to be fucking and to be happy with it. Yeah. 1164 00:49:13,765 --> 00:49:15,685 - Right. I don't want you to be jealous about it. 1165 00:49:15,845 --> 00:49:17,485 I want you to be like, I see that 1166 00:49:17,485 --> 00:49:18,885 that is a thing that is possible. 1167 00:49:19,705 --> 00:49:22,845 How do I make that come to fruition in a way 1168 00:49:22,845 --> 00:49:25,165 that is satisfying in my relationship 1169 00:49:25,185 --> 00:49:27,125 and the way that my relationship works? 1170 00:49:27,235 --> 00:49:29,365 Because the thing is, is we are willing 1171 00:49:29,385 --> 00:49:32,725 to talk about the not so easy parts, 1172 00:49:33,185 --> 00:49:37,525 but we do, we really are kind of a highlight reel. 1173 00:49:37,545 --> 00:49:40,725 We are not going into the depth of the details of 1174 00:49:40,725 --> 00:49:42,525 what is hard in our life right now. 1175 00:49:42,525 --> 00:49:45,005 Mm-Hmm. like that's for us to deal with 1176 00:49:45,005 --> 00:49:46,485 that is not for public consumption. 1177 00:49:46,865 --> 00:49:49,805 So we could easily give off this image of Oh, 1178 00:49:49,875 --> 00:49:51,485 it's so fucking easy. No the fuck. 1179 00:49:51,485 --> 00:49:52,925 - No, it's not. It's not. It's not. No, it's not. 1180 00:49:53,345 --> 00:49:57,445 - The, the way we're approaching it through this cycle 1181 00:49:57,825 --> 00:50:02,485 of the, the tough hard part I really think is 1182 00:50:02,485 --> 00:50:05,525 because we've had at this point, God, 1183 00:50:05,525 --> 00:50:06,685 we're at 11 years really? 1184 00:50:06,685 --> 00:50:10,325 Mm-Hmm. 11 and a half years of figuring out 1185 00:50:10,325 --> 00:50:13,605 how to work together and to get to hear Jesus. 1186 00:50:13,825 --> 00:50:16,445 We had to have some dumb ass fights about some stupid 1187 00:50:16,515 --> 00:50:17,805 shit like Mm-Hmm. 1188 00:50:17,845 --> 00:50:21,285 . So I don't, I don't want you to be jealous of 1189 00:50:21,485 --> 00:50:21,965 - Anything. No, 1190 00:50:22,145 --> 00:50:23,145 - No. 1191 00:50:23,145 --> 00:50:26,085 But if you, if you think to yourself seeing some part 1192 00:50:26,085 --> 00:50:27,605 that we're showing you, I would like some 1193 00:50:27,605 --> 00:50:28,725 version of that for myself. 1194 00:50:28,965 --> 00:50:32,045 I want that for you. I just want most people to realize 1195 00:50:32,075 --> 00:50:33,765 that it's not gonna look like ours looks. 1196 00:50:34,005 --> 00:50:36,645 'cause we're all different people and the partner you have 1197 00:50:36,645 --> 00:50:37,645 and the dynamic you have. 1198 00:50:37,735 --> 00:50:40,005 Right. And how you express yourself as a kinky person 1199 00:50:40,315 --> 00:50:42,565 that is gonna, and what you've gone 1200 00:50:42,565 --> 00:50:44,365 through past relationships, childhood trauma. 1201 00:50:44,365 --> 00:50:47,725 Mm-Hmm. mental illness, neurodivergence like 1202 00:50:47,725 --> 00:50:49,165 what, whatever, whatever. 1203 00:50:49,335 --> 00:50:52,005 Right. It's all gonna change what that looks like. 1204 00:50:52,115 --> 00:50:53,565 It's not gonna look like ours 1205 00:50:53,625 --> 00:50:55,245 and it shouldn't, that would be weird. 1206 00:50:55,245 --> 00:50:58,125 Mm-Hmm. I don't wanna a Stepford power exchange. No. 1207 00:50:58,125 --> 00:51:01,205 Couple, couple thing going on. Like that's, that's icky 1208 00:51:01,885 --> 00:51:02,885 - . 1209 00:51:02,885 --> 00:51:06,765 - So Yeah. I don't wanna answer that one. . Okay. 1210 00:51:06,765 --> 00:51:10,485 Good. Okay. I think this one is difficult. 1211 00:51:10,795 --> 00:51:12,365 Yeah. But let us try. 1212 00:51:12,635 --> 00:51:15,925 - Okay. - What's one thing about our relationship you'd 1213 00:51:16,055 --> 00:51:17,325 never want to change? 1214 00:51:18,105 --> 00:51:20,165 - One thing, - I think you could have more than one. 1215 00:51:20,185 --> 00:51:21,205 We could break the rules here. 1216 00:51:21,445 --> 00:51:24,885 - I mean, you know what I'm, I'm, I'm gonna 1217 00:51:25,665 --> 00:51:27,085 put myself out on a limb. 1218 00:51:27,865 --> 00:51:32,485 Um, none of it I, I wouldn't, I mean 1219 00:51:32,815 --> 00:51:33,925 - About the relationship. 1220 00:51:34,025 --> 00:51:38,325 No. Parts of our life. Yeah. I changed the no money thing. 1221 00:51:38,475 --> 00:51:40,565 - Well, I mean, I changed - The debt thing. 1222 00:51:41,625 --> 00:51:46,005 - That's, that, that is outside of who we are. I, yes. 1223 00:51:46,045 --> 00:51:48,725 I look at who we are Yes. In that. 1224 00:51:49,265 --> 00:51:52,285 And, and there is nothing I, I would change about any of it. 1225 00:51:52,465 --> 00:51:53,645 The good, the bad, the ugly. 1226 00:51:54,405 --> 00:51:57,125 - I am, I have learned not to say this to other people 1227 00:51:57,425 --> 00:51:59,445 and put this on them, but in my personal life, 1228 00:51:59,745 --> 00:52:01,245 my personal beliefs about myself, 1229 00:52:01,245 --> 00:52:04,765 where I can say whatever the fuck I want, I am the type 1230 00:52:04,765 --> 00:52:07,605 of person who says, as shitty as some things have been, 1231 00:52:08,085 --> 00:52:10,325 I wouldn't be the person I am today without all 1232 00:52:10,325 --> 00:52:11,365 that shit I had to go through. 1233 00:52:11,945 --> 00:52:13,245 And we would not be 1234 00:52:13,655 --> 00:52:16,085 where we are in our relationship right now. 1235 00:52:16,345 --> 00:52:18,805 Mm-Hmm. without the shit we've gone through. 1236 00:52:18,945 --> 00:52:23,605 We had to do, I wish we could have skipped every ridiculous 1237 00:52:23,625 --> 00:52:25,045 but bad argument we've ever had. 1238 00:52:25,105 --> 00:52:27,765 Of course. Sure. But we learned how 1239 00:52:27,765 --> 00:52:29,365 to communicate with one another right. 1240 00:52:29,365 --> 00:52:31,205 Through that. Mm-Hmm. we learned how to, to, 1241 00:52:31,265 --> 00:52:33,365 you know, conflict resolution with one another. 1242 00:52:33,705 --> 00:52:36,805 Yes. Um, and we've learned some shit about ourselves 1243 00:52:37,195 --> 00:52:38,195 - Through that. 1244 00:52:38,195 --> 00:52:42,605 And, and we've learned, um, to argue fairly 1245 00:52:43,035 --> 00:52:44,285 - Yeah. We're better at it than we used 1246 00:52:44,285 --> 00:52:45,285 - To be. 1247 00:52:45,285 --> 00:52:46,765 Okay. Mm-Hmm. You know, we, we don't 1248 00:52:47,475 --> 00:52:48,765 take jabs at each other. 1249 00:52:49,065 --> 00:52:51,885 Mm-Hmm. You know, put each other down. We, we, we never 1250 00:52:51,885 --> 00:52:52,885 - Really did that. 1251 00:52:52,885 --> 00:52:53,765 - We never did. But I, things 1252 00:52:53,765 --> 00:52:57,405 - That we still had that just like that gut reaction 1253 00:52:57,405 --> 00:53:00,245 of wanting to, what we did was we would talk less 1254 00:53:00,395 --> 00:53:02,045 because we were avoiding it. 1255 00:53:02,045 --> 00:53:03,245 We didn't wanna do it to one another, 1256 00:53:03,345 --> 00:53:04,845 but we didn't know what we were supposed to say 1257 00:53:04,845 --> 00:53:05,845 - At . 1258 00:53:05,845 --> 00:53:07,805 Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. 1259 00:53:08,665 --> 00:53:12,685 - Um, no, I do, 1260 00:53:12,725 --> 00:53:14,645 I wish there were lots of parts of life 1261 00:53:14,645 --> 00:53:17,045 that were a bit like just less complicated 1262 00:53:17,745 --> 00:53:21,685 and with clear, hopeful resolutions in the 1263 00:53:21,685 --> 00:53:22,765 future. Yes. Yeah. 1264 00:53:22,765 --> 00:53:25,645 - Sure. I mean, I don't think anybody would Right. Yeah. 1265 00:53:25,825 --> 00:53:27,965 - Say that, but I would, no, I would not change. 1266 00:53:28,805 --> 00:53:32,805 I I'll for the sake of the question. Mm-Hmm. 1267 00:53:32,845 --> 00:53:35,685 the thing that I wish we were better at, 1268 00:53:35,685 --> 00:53:36,765 that we are still working on. 1269 00:53:36,955 --> 00:53:39,685 - Okay. - We are great with our communication right now. 1270 00:53:39,685 --> 00:53:41,445 Doesn't mean we won't fall off sometime in the future. 1271 00:53:41,595 --> 00:53:42,805 Some new thing will come at us. 1272 00:53:42,805 --> 00:53:45,165 We won't know how to deal with, we'll have to figure it out. 1273 00:53:45,165 --> 00:53:46,725 Right. We're great on our communication, 1274 00:53:46,735 --> 00:53:49,445 we're great on our teamwork, our 1275 00:53:51,295 --> 00:53:54,965 day-to-Day power exchange because we love a routine. 1276 00:53:55,075 --> 00:53:57,005 Yeah. Right. We are good there. Yeah. 1277 00:53:57,425 --> 00:54:00,925 If I could make something better in our relationship, 1278 00:54:01,025 --> 00:54:03,525 it would be to make us better at 1279 00:54:03,765 --> 00:54:06,325 prioritizing fuckery. 1280 00:54:06,425 --> 00:54:09,325 Yes. And the more outward, obvious, 1281 00:54:09,475 --> 00:54:11,685 less routine oriented power exchange. 1282 00:54:12,545 --> 00:54:16,485 Do I miss the way your voice goes when you are 1283 00:54:16,485 --> 00:54:17,565 issuing a command? 1284 00:54:17,915 --> 00:54:21,245 Yeah. . Do I also miss having the freedom 1285 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,325 to let my brain make that transit? 1286 00:54:23,565 --> 00:54:26,205 I don't, I mean, I don't switch easy from thing to thing. 1287 00:54:26,205 --> 00:54:29,765 Yeah. And when I'm in a mindset, it is hard for me 1288 00:54:29,765 --> 00:54:30,965 to turn and go, oh, yeah. 1289 00:54:31,545 --> 00:54:35,485 But at times when life was less complicated, it was easier. 1290 00:54:36,075 --> 00:54:37,085 Like it might , 1291 00:54:37,475 --> 00:54:40,525 it's always like it went in my ear and there 1292 00:54:40,525 --> 00:54:41,725 - Was like, huh, that's complicated to you. 1293 00:54:41,825 --> 00:54:43,605 How funny. That goes hand in hand. 1294 00:54:43,875 --> 00:54:48,005 - Stop. He would, he would give say something in that tone 1295 00:54:48,705 --> 00:54:51,125 and when things were just different than they are now, 1296 00:54:51,735 --> 00:54:53,845 there was always a delay between hearing it 1297 00:54:53,905 --> 00:54:57,845 and my brain computing it, but it was like a second delay. 1298 00:54:57,965 --> 00:55:01,405 Right. And so I'd process and be like, oh, I know that tone 1299 00:55:01,465 --> 00:55:03,085 and I could switch over. 1300 00:55:03,085 --> 00:55:04,245 Mm-Hmm. these days. 1301 00:55:04,685 --> 00:55:06,445 I know why he doesn't do stuff like that 1302 00:55:06,445 --> 00:55:07,885 because you don't know what version 1303 00:55:07,885 --> 00:55:09,365 of me you're gonna get. Okay. 1304 00:55:09,605 --> 00:55:12,965 - - maybe. Yeah. Subbie brain is activated. 1305 00:55:13,145 --> 00:55:15,645 And I'm like, yeah, I'm here. What do you want? Yeah. 1306 00:55:16,055 --> 00:55:20,485 Maybe business bitch boss, babe, whatever. 1307 00:55:20,885 --> 00:55:22,165 is activated. 1308 00:55:22,185 --> 00:55:23,405 And I'll be like, do you know 1309 00:55:23,435 --> 00:55:25,965 what I have my to-do list right now, . 1310 00:55:26,065 --> 00:55:30,205 And it's not sexy and it's not conducive to power exchange 1311 00:55:30,485 --> 00:55:31,485 - . 1312 00:55:31,485 --> 00:55:31,525 Yeah. 1313 00:55:32,505 --> 00:55:35,565 - And so, yeah. If there was a thing I could modify for us, 1314 00:55:35,705 --> 00:55:37,165 it would be to get better at that 1315 00:55:37,165 --> 00:55:38,165 - Part. 1316 00:55:38,165 --> 00:55:38,845 Yeah. Yeah. 1317 00:55:39,085 --> 00:55:42,565 I mean we, we talked about that in the, uh, the, the Patreon 1318 00:55:43,275 --> 00:55:44,685 podcast a little bit behind. 1319 00:55:44,685 --> 00:55:46,325 - We - Do it behind the scenes for Patreon. Yeah. 1320 00:55:46,325 --> 00:55:48,965 Behind scenes. And, um, you know. Yeah. 1321 00:55:49,465 --> 00:55:54,405 We, especially over the last few years, we have 1322 00:55:55,035 --> 00:55:57,565 been dealing with, with so much stress 1323 00:55:59,105 --> 00:56:02,965 and, um, you know, it, it has 1324 00:56:04,315 --> 00:56:06,405 through all that to, to keep going 1325 00:56:06,425 --> 00:56:08,285 and working on the things that we we're doing. 1326 00:56:09,305 --> 00:56:13,205 Um, yeah. That has kind of taken a, a side seat. 1327 00:56:13,625 --> 00:56:16,005 - And this isn't even our first time since having this 1328 00:56:16,005 --> 00:56:19,885 podcast where we have like complained into the ether about 1329 00:56:19,885 --> 00:56:23,045 how, you know what, the thing that will get dropped faster 1330 00:56:24,025 --> 00:56:25,525 is the recreational stuff. 1331 00:56:25,705 --> 00:56:27,525 And I think that's common for a lot of people. 1332 00:56:28,145 --> 00:56:29,925 Um, what I'm appreciative 1333 00:56:29,945 --> 00:56:32,685 of is the power exchange is always there. 1334 00:56:32,705 --> 00:56:36,525 Yes. We manage to find a way to build it. 1335 00:56:36,585 --> 00:56:40,405 So it just occurs without a lot of conscious thought. 1336 00:56:40,655 --> 00:56:42,845 There are habits and routines. Mm-Hmm. . 1337 00:56:42,845 --> 00:56:46,405 And there is the way we've sort of decided to live our life 1338 00:56:46,545 --> 00:56:48,685 as you are the decider. 1339 00:56:48,925 --> 00:56:51,125 I might do all the legwork, I might do all the research, 1340 00:56:51,285 --> 00:56:52,485 I might have to bring it to you. 1341 00:56:52,985 --> 00:56:55,485 And man, if I want to procrastinate that, that'll happen. 1342 00:56:55,625 --> 00:56:57,965 Mm-Hmm. . But ultimately, you know, 1343 00:56:57,965 --> 00:56:59,885 you ha you have that role. 1344 00:56:59,885 --> 00:57:01,725 That was part of our hard conversation the other day. 1345 00:57:01,765 --> 00:57:04,365 I was like, we were talking about fuckery 1346 00:57:04,385 --> 00:57:05,605 and we're talking about, you know, 1347 00:57:06,365 --> 00:57:07,445 intimate physical connection. 1348 00:57:07,445 --> 00:57:11,085 And I was like, Hey, hey, hey, I, I make my desires clear. 1349 00:57:11,805 --> 00:57:13,325 I make my wants clear. 1350 00:57:13,345 --> 00:57:17,525 That's my job in this, uh, the way we've structured things, 1351 00:57:17,945 --> 00:57:19,125 the rest is on you. 1352 00:57:20,145 --> 00:57:21,445 And if we're not getting it, 1353 00:57:22,475 --> 00:57:23,765 what are we gonna do about that? 1354 00:57:23,905 --> 00:57:26,405 And when I said we, I was like, you know who I mean? Right. 1355 00:57:26,435 --> 00:57:27,885 Like, . 1356 00:57:28,145 --> 00:57:29,565 And sometimes that's the downside 1357 00:57:29,565 --> 00:57:32,765 because it, it means that if, if we haven't already, 1358 00:57:32,845 --> 00:57:33,925 I wanna do an episode on 1359 00:57:35,445 --> 00:57:36,845 responsibilities and a power exchange. 1360 00:57:37,405 --> 00:57:39,525 'cause I think that it goes deeper 1361 00:57:39,555 --> 00:57:40,805 than a lot of people think about it. 1362 00:57:40,805 --> 00:57:42,885 Mm-Hmm. , um, it's like, okay, 1363 00:57:43,005 --> 00:57:44,405 I just lost my own fucking train of thought. 1364 00:57:44,905 --> 00:57:46,645 Um, you 1365 00:57:46,645 --> 00:57:50,565 know, I want a thing. 1366 00:57:50,785 --> 00:57:52,045 And so that's the downside. 1367 00:57:52,425 --> 00:57:55,525 If, if we've structured it so you make the decisions 1368 00:57:56,265 --> 00:57:59,365 and either you are not in a mental head space 1369 00:57:59,385 --> 00:58:00,485 to make decisions, 1370 00:58:01,105 --> 00:58:05,965 or I am being way too fucking subtle, then I'm left 1371 00:58:07,125 --> 00:58:08,645 dissatisfied in some way. 1372 00:58:10,545 --> 00:58:13,405 And sometimes I feel like there's not a lot 1373 00:58:13,485 --> 00:58:14,845 I can do about it. 1374 00:58:14,945 --> 00:58:19,685 Mm. And that is, that is sort of a, a weak spot in 1375 00:58:19,785 --> 00:58:21,485 how this works for us. 1376 00:58:21,755 --> 00:58:26,485 - Yeah. And you know what I'm gonna say too is, you know, 1377 00:58:26,615 --> 00:58:29,325 while a lot of times I am good at picking up 1378 00:58:29,325 --> 00:58:30,765 subtle hints No, 1379 00:58:30,925 --> 00:58:32,205 - I know you need it. Like hit a, 1380 00:58:32,475 --> 00:58:35,085 - Sometimes I, I I need to be hit on the head. Yeah. 1381 00:58:35,245 --> 00:58:38,165 - I know. Which works because when I'm feeling safe 1382 00:58:38,185 --> 00:58:41,245 and comfortable, that is my communication style. 1383 00:58:41,485 --> 00:58:44,685 . Right? , I, if y'all haven't noticed in 390 1384 00:58:44,835 --> 00:58:46,885 some odd episodes, I'm an over communicator. 1385 00:58:47,005 --> 00:58:49,285 I want to make sure you know what the fuck I mean. 1386 00:58:50,265 --> 00:58:52,685 Um, and poor JB gets like the full 1387 00:58:53,405 --> 00:58:54,885 drinking from the fire hose 1388 00:58:55,295 --> 00:58:56,295 - Level lab. 1389 00:58:56,295 --> 00:58:58,885 There, there are times I just want a simple yes or no. You 1390 00:58:58,885 --> 00:58:59,725 - Can't have that. I don't know 1391 00:58:59,725 --> 00:59:01,125 - How to do that. I just want a yes or 1392 00:59:01,125 --> 00:59:02,125 - No. 1393 00:59:02,125 --> 00:59:02,645 There is one or the other. No. 1394 00:59:02,765 --> 00:59:05,445 'cause there's context and there's reasoning and there's, 1395 00:59:05,705 --> 00:59:08,565 but also here are the what ifs and the contingencies. 1396 00:59:08,565 --> 00:59:10,565 There's no such thing as just a simple 1397 00:59:10,625 --> 00:59:11,625 - Yes or so. 1398 00:59:11,625 --> 00:59:13,605 I have learned. In some cases, 1399 00:59:14,395 --> 00:59:16,685 I'll just tell her I'm gonna ask you a question. 1400 00:59:17,125 --> 00:59:18,485 I just want a yes or no answer. 1401 00:59:18,545 --> 00:59:20,125 That's all I need. That's another 1402 00:59:20,125 --> 00:59:22,005 - Thing we've learned over the years, . 1403 00:59:22,745 --> 00:59:23,885 That's okay. That's okay. 1404 00:59:24,125 --> 00:59:27,205 I have learned that some of his not meant 1405 00:59:27,205 --> 00:59:29,645 to be contentious reactions at all 1406 00:59:30,635 --> 00:59:31,885 will upset the shit outta me. 1407 00:59:31,885 --> 00:59:34,485 So when I think what I'm about to say would create 1408 00:59:34,485 --> 00:59:36,325 that reaction, my thing is to go, okay, look, 1409 00:59:36,345 --> 00:59:39,085 I'm gonna tell you a thing and you might feel 1410 00:59:39,085 --> 00:59:40,165 the urge to go Ugh. 1411 00:59:40,345 --> 00:59:41,885 And do that sigh, like drop thing. 1412 00:59:42,205 --> 00:59:44,485 I need you to not do that right now. 1413 00:59:45,585 --> 00:59:48,805 And when I say that, he might still have the similar, 1414 00:59:48,915 --> 00:59:50,245 he's like, oh, I'm glad you said something. 1415 00:59:50,365 --> 00:59:52,005 'cause I te I totally would have. Yeah. 1416 00:59:52,185 --> 00:59:53,965 But then we can get past that like 1417 00:59:54,625 --> 00:59:55,625 - Moment. 1418 00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:57,285 And, and so sometimes when she says, you know, I, 1419 00:59:57,345 --> 00:59:58,565 I'm gonna ask you something 1420 00:59:58,565 --> 01:00:00,605 and I don't want that reaction, I'll just go, 1421 01:00:01,715 --> 01:00:02,715 - Yeah, go ahead and give it to me 1422 01:00:02,715 --> 01:00:04,285 - Before get, get it out of the way and know. 1423 01:00:04,285 --> 01:00:05,805 Right. Let's carry on . 1424 01:00:06,385 --> 01:00:08,205 - It worked. It has worked so far. 1425 01:00:10,225 --> 01:00:12,085 So those are the questions. Yeah. 1426 01:00:12,105 --> 01:00:13,365 Are you feeling warm and fuzzy? 1427 01:00:14,795 --> 01:00:17,085 - Warm? Yes. I know. - I I think you turned the air 1428 01:00:17,085 --> 01:00:18,085 - On. 1429 01:00:18,085 --> 01:00:18,525 I did. I and I'm very grateful for that. 1430 01:00:18,645 --> 01:00:19,965 I bumped the air down a little bit. 'cause it, 1431 01:00:19,965 --> 01:00:20,965 - Yeah. 1432 01:00:20,965 --> 01:00:22,965 It's almost like the, uh, universe wants us 1433 01:00:23,025 --> 01:00:24,605 to feel real good about our decision 1434 01:00:24,625 --> 01:00:25,805 to switch the time . 1435 01:00:25,805 --> 01:00:29,485 I, I know my dream know. Thanks weather. Mm-Hmm. 1436 01:00:29,525 --> 01:00:31,365 . Um, yeah. 1437 01:00:31,565 --> 01:00:34,685 I, you know, it's nice to kind of think about the things 1438 01:00:34,835 --> 01:00:36,445 that we think we're doing well 1439 01:00:36,545 --> 01:00:38,645 and the things we enjoy about one another. 1440 01:00:38,645 --> 01:00:42,325 Yeah. And I think it's very easy to get bogged down in, 1441 01:00:42,325 --> 01:00:43,245 here's the thing we gotta work on, 1442 01:00:43,245 --> 01:00:44,365 and here's the thing that we're struggling with. 1443 01:00:44,365 --> 01:00:45,365 Mm-Hmm. . And here's the thing that's hard. 1444 01:00:45,625 --> 01:00:46,605 - And that, and that's what I think 1445 01:00:46,605 --> 01:00:47,765 those questions are good for. 1446 01:00:47,765 --> 01:00:50,565 Mm-Hmm. . Because yes, you know, it is easy in, 1447 01:00:50,785 --> 01:00:53,925 in the day-to-day life between taking care of family, 1448 01:00:54,225 --> 01:00:57,605 you know, work, taking care of your home, you know, uh, 1449 01:00:57,915 --> 01:01:01,245 what things going on with extended family, you know, it, 1450 01:01:01,355 --> 01:01:06,125 it's easy to, to let things like that slide 1451 01:01:06,185 --> 01:01:08,325 to the wayside, you know? 1452 01:01:09,185 --> 01:01:11,485 - So yeah. Anybody who's, you know, partnered up 1453 01:01:11,765 --> 01:01:13,605 with anybody, if you, 1454 01:01:13,605 --> 01:01:16,365 especially if you haven't had a warm fuzzy in a hot minute, 1455 01:01:16,645 --> 01:01:19,205 I recommend sitting down playing this game on 1456 01:01:19,205 --> 01:01:20,285 your own without an audience. 1457 01:01:20,345 --> 01:01:22,725 And so then you could say the most uncomfortable things, 1458 01:01:23,085 --> 01:01:24,765 , we're not afraid 1459 01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:26,365 of saying the uncomfortable thing into a 1460 01:01:26,365 --> 01:01:27,685 microphone with our internet connection. 1461 01:01:27,705 --> 01:01:30,165 But, you know, not everybody wants to do that, 1462 01:01:30,385 --> 01:01:31,925 so you don't have to Mm-Hmm. 1463 01:01:31,965 --> 01:01:34,525 . Um, so yeah, that, that's that. 1464 01:01:34,575 --> 01:01:38,525 Thank you therapy, Jeff for, you know, posting content 1465 01:01:38,595 --> 01:01:42,845 that I then yank for myself, whatever, whatever . 1466 01:01:42,865 --> 01:01:44,645 Um, so yeah, I guess we can go into a bonus 1467 01:01:44,645 --> 01:01:45,805 section now. Okay. Mm-Hmm. 1468 01:01:45,845 --> 01:01:47,805 - . So, uh, are we good? I don't know. 1469 01:01:49,025 --> 01:01:51,725 - Hm. - Keep it kinky. All kinky. All. 1470 01:01:51,825 --> 01:01:52,805 - And we'll see you next week. 1471 01:02:02,735 --> 01:02:03,085 Daddy. 1472 01:02:03,985 --> 01:02:06,325 - Yes. - Can we talk to the crickets, please? 1473 01:02:08,945 --> 01:02:11,875 - Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Talk to the crickets. Go ahead. 1474 01:02:13,275 --> 01:02:16,575 - I don't have anything to say. I said we, 1475 01:02:17,095 --> 01:02:18,095 - I know you did. 1476 01:02:18,095 --> 01:02:19,285 - I brought you into this. I know you did. Okay. 1477 01:02:19,545 --> 01:02:21,605 - But you know, you're the word person here. I count on 1478 01:02:21,605 --> 01:02:22,605 - You. 1479 01:02:22,605 --> 01:02:25,205 I, I think I get like a bulk amount of words in a day. 1480 01:02:25,965 --> 01:02:27,725 . I certainly only get a limited number 1481 01:02:27,745 --> 01:02:29,885 of clear, rational thoughts. 1482 01:02:29,885 --> 01:02:31,885 Mm-Hmm. And once I've used those up, I am 1483 01:02:31,885 --> 01:02:32,885 - Screwed. That that's it, huh? 1484 01:02:33,185 --> 01:02:35,925 - No, I think part of my problem is the stuff 1485 01:02:35,925 --> 01:02:39,125 that is overwhelmingly on my mind Yeah. 1486 01:02:39,305 --> 01:02:41,925 And has got most of my focus is the stuff 1487 01:02:41,925 --> 01:02:43,485 that we keep for us mostly. 1488 01:02:43,635 --> 01:02:45,525 Yeah. You know, it's like Mm-Hmm. . 1489 01:02:46,185 --> 01:02:49,285 So it's like, yeah. I mean, I, I wouldn't, it's stuff like, 1490 01:02:49,415 --> 01:02:51,285 first of all, I don't have a lot of close friends, 1491 01:02:51,515 --> 01:02:53,165 it's just whatever. 1492 01:02:54,105 --> 01:02:58,445 Um, the only way my, my absolute BFF could probably get me 1493 01:02:58,445 --> 01:02:59,885 to talk about it, she, she'd have 1494 01:02:59,885 --> 01:03:01,245 to buy a picture of margaritas. 1495 01:03:01,245 --> 01:03:05,485 Margaritas. And what she all has done for literal years is 1496 01:03:05,705 --> 01:03:07,725 for every two I drink, she gets like half 1497 01:03:07,725 --> 01:03:09,045 of one done . 1498 01:03:09,605 --> 01:03:11,205 I think she realizes that if you wanna get me 1499 01:03:11,205 --> 01:03:12,525 talking, you just 1500 01:03:12,755 --> 01:03:13,805 - Need to Yep. 1501 01:03:13,995 --> 01:03:17,365 - Yeah. The, the, the liquor needs to flow freely. Mm-Hmm. 1502 01:03:17,405 --> 01:03:21,205 . Um, but yeah, like, I don't, I tend 1503 01:03:21,205 --> 01:03:24,925 to be a person that assumes most people. 1504 01:03:24,925 --> 01:03:26,085 And this I think is incorrect. 1505 01:03:26,245 --> 01:03:28,165 I don't think this is how a lot 1506 01:03:28,165 --> 01:03:29,205 of people in my life actually are, 1507 01:03:29,205 --> 01:03:30,205 but I tend to assume people, 1508 01:03:30,205 --> 01:03:31,285 most people don't want to hear it. 1509 01:03:32,105 --> 01:03:35,365 Um, I also don't want unsolicited advice. 1510 01:03:35,705 --> 01:03:39,245 So the best way to not get that is to not tell people shit. 1511 01:03:39,985 --> 01:03:42,985 Um, but also sometimes I just don't, 1512 01:03:44,025 --> 01:03:45,585 I don't wanna talk about the hard stuff. 1513 01:03:45,825 --> 01:03:47,545 I find it easier just to let other people talk to me. 1514 01:03:47,545 --> 01:03:48,825 And then, you know, you don't have to do a lot 1515 01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:51,905 of talking then I know those of you who only know me 1516 01:03:51,905 --> 01:03:54,785 through this medium will find that 1517 01:03:55,825 --> 01:03:56,995 difficult to believe. 1518 01:03:57,015 --> 01:03:59,195 But I actually am a pretty good listener. 1519 01:03:59,805 --> 01:04:02,075 Especially if I'm like, you are, if you talk, 1520 01:04:02,145 --> 01:04:03,915 that means I don't have to . 1521 01:04:06,375 --> 01:04:10,355 But, so yeah. Like my, my mind is absolutely focused on 1522 01:04:11,465 --> 01:04:13,035 financial stuff Yep. 1523 01:04:13,215 --> 01:04:16,075 And future goals stuff. Mm-Hmm. 1524 01:04:16,115 --> 01:04:19,155 and the existential crisis of, 1525 01:04:19,195 --> 01:04:20,595 I wanna be optimistic about it, 1526 01:04:20,615 --> 01:04:22,955 but I've been burned so much with my own fucking optimism 1527 01:04:23,015 --> 01:04:24,435 and the universe that I refuse 1528 01:04:24,455 --> 01:04:26,595 and it hurts my feelings that I can't be as hopeful 1529 01:04:26,595 --> 01:04:28,355 and optimistic as I would like to be. 1530 01:04:29,375 --> 01:04:33,595 You know, just, just fun stuff. . 1531 01:04:35,595 --> 01:04:38,715 I want to be a wide-eyed, hopeful little baby girl. 1532 01:04:39,575 --> 01:04:42,595 But the, the world has fucked me just a couple of two times 1533 01:04:43,015 --> 01:04:45,395 to too many times too hard with no lube. 1534 01:04:45,395 --> 01:04:47,075 And I just can't right now. 1535 01:04:47,465 --> 01:04:50,755 - It's not always that easy to get where you want to be. 1536 01:04:52,395 --> 01:04:56,035 - I would, I I'm, I'd kill for something easy right now. 1537 01:04:56,275 --> 01:04:58,075 I know. I know. And I, you know what? Think we both, 1538 01:04:58,155 --> 01:04:59,115 - I think, think we both - Want, and we're not 1539 01:04:59,115 --> 01:04:59,475 the only ones. 1540 01:04:59,635 --> 01:05:01,315 I have no doubt somebody who can hear him sounding. 1541 01:05:01,315 --> 01:05:02,875 My voice is like, same bitch. Right. 1542 01:05:02,955 --> 01:05:07,475 I would love something easy too. Yep. So. Yep. Yep. 1543 01:05:09,055 --> 01:05:11,835 Um, we are 1544 01:05:13,945 --> 01:05:18,765 desperately trying to get Lola, uh, accustomed to, 1545 01:05:19,745 --> 01:05:22,005 um, having her nails done by us Yeah. 1546 01:05:22,125 --> 01:05:25,045 so that her nails do not look like nobody loves her. 1547 01:05:25,825 --> 01:05:28,005 So we used to, it was, it was cheap to do. 1548 01:05:28,065 --> 01:05:30,885 We used to do grooming like once a month, every six weeks 1549 01:05:30,885 --> 01:05:33,125 or so, and we'd be like, Hey, please cut her nails. 1550 01:05:33,315 --> 01:05:35,965 Well you've got her and you are the trained professionals. 1551 01:05:35,965 --> 01:05:37,725 Mm-Hmm. . Well, we've stopped doing that. 1552 01:05:37,785 --> 01:05:38,845 And so we have to do it. 1553 01:05:38,865 --> 01:05:42,965 And the giving her a bath, we found the way 1554 01:05:43,035 --> 01:05:46,085 that she still looks at us like we have broken her heart 1555 01:05:46,465 --> 01:05:48,085 and we are . 1556 01:05:48,465 --> 01:05:50,685 We just have stopped loving her and how dare we Right. 1557 01:05:50,745 --> 01:05:53,245 But we now bathe her, like outside on our back patio 1558 01:05:53,755 --> 01:05:55,005 because trying 1559 01:05:55,005 --> 01:05:57,565 to do it in the bathroom was just, it was not, it was not 1560 01:05:57,565 --> 01:05:58,565 - Working. 1561 01:05:58,565 --> 01:05:59,565 It it, yeah. It, it wasn't working. 1562 01:05:59,665 --> 01:06:03,685 The, it was hard for, it's getting harder for me to, 1563 01:06:03,915 --> 01:06:06,645 because she will not go into the tub willingly. No. 1564 01:06:06,985 --> 01:06:09,765 - Um, - So it's up to me to pick her up and put her in the 1565 01:06:09,765 --> 01:06:10,765 - Tub. 1566 01:06:10,765 --> 01:06:11,845 Right. And then I have to fold myself into a pretzel 1567 01:06:12,025 --> 01:06:15,045 to take the shower head to get it close enough 1568 01:06:15,045 --> 01:06:16,445 to her in the corner. 1569 01:06:16,575 --> 01:06:17,885 She's backed herself up into, 1570 01:06:17,945 --> 01:06:19,925 and we do not have large bathtub, by the way. 1571 01:06:19,925 --> 01:06:22,045 Mm-Hmm. To get her wet. So we've taken it outside. 1572 01:06:22,065 --> 01:06:23,885 She handled that a little bit better. Yeah. 1573 01:06:24,285 --> 01:06:27,365 I think maybe she liked not feeling so closed in. Yeah. 1574 01:06:27,365 --> 01:06:28,565 And like we, 'cause we had 1575 01:06:28,565 --> 01:06:30,005 to be real close to her to make part. 1576 01:06:30,005 --> 01:06:32,165 Yeah. But the nails, the 1577 01:06:32,165 --> 01:06:33,805 - Nails are another thing. Yeah. 1578 01:06:34,345 --> 01:06:38,765 - And so we, uh, betrayed her emotions a little bit. Yeah. 1579 01:06:39,065 --> 01:06:43,365 By enticing her into rolling over on her back. 1580 01:06:43,425 --> 01:06:44,965 And she blisses out if you'll just 1581 01:06:44,965 --> 01:06:46,005 spend some time rubbing her belly. 1582 01:06:46,105 --> 01:06:48,285 Yes. Like her eyes will close her. 1583 01:06:48,425 --> 01:06:50,605 Her limbs are up in the air like a bug, 1584 01:06:50,785 --> 01:06:52,205 but she's like real relaxed. 1585 01:06:52,355 --> 01:06:54,365 Well, Mm-Hmm. we discovered 1586 01:06:54,365 --> 01:06:56,085 that was prime time to get, 1587 01:06:56,145 --> 01:06:57,805 we don't have clip clipper things. 1588 01:06:57,805 --> 01:07:01,245 We have the sandy Dremel like tool for nails. 1589 01:07:01,585 --> 01:07:03,925 And you could get in there and you could do her nails. 1590 01:07:03,925 --> 01:07:05,765 Well, we did that a couple of times, 1591 01:07:05,945 --> 01:07:07,565 but we couldn't finish 'cause she'd get 1592 01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:08,725 too antsy. And we're like, we're 1593 01:07:08,725 --> 01:07:09,725 - Not trying to stress her out. 1594 01:07:09,725 --> 01:07:11,285 I initially, when I, when I tried it, found it out. 1595 01:07:11,445 --> 01:07:14,685 'cause I, I did her front nails and Yeah. 1596 01:07:14,905 --> 01:07:18,525 You know, I, I, I'd rub her belly, get her bliss 1597 01:07:18,525 --> 01:07:21,125 and she'd just lay there and I'd, I'd, you know, do, 1598 01:07:21,305 --> 01:07:23,725 do a couple nails and she'd start and I'd rub 1599 01:07:23,785 --> 01:07:25,645 and bliss her out again. And Mm-Hmm. 1600 01:07:25,685 --> 01:07:27,725 - . So we decided to tag team her, 1601 01:07:27,865 --> 01:07:31,405 but she is not stupid , and 1602 01:07:31,665 --> 01:07:34,965 - She knew - What we were there to do the other day. 1603 01:07:34,965 --> 01:07:37,285 Oh yeah. And she just, she would not even come in 1604 01:07:37,285 --> 01:07:38,605 - For - Pets at first. 1605 01:07:39,405 --> 01:07:40,685 I had to put away the nail. 1606 01:07:40,685 --> 01:07:42,205 Like I was letting her sniff the nail stuff. 1607 01:07:42,205 --> 01:07:43,685 Like, here, you, you know, 1608 01:07:43,715 --> 01:07:46,165 this should smell only like you, quite frankly. 1609 01:07:46,705 --> 01:07:48,645 And, but we were, we weren't moving real fast. 1610 01:07:48,785 --> 01:07:50,045 We were trying to just give her love. 1611 01:07:50,265 --> 01:07:52,245 And she's just looking at me like, right. 1612 01:07:52,565 --> 01:07:54,085 I can't believe you did this to me, 1613 01:07:54,645 --> 01:07:55,645 - . 1614 01:07:55,645 --> 01:07:57,925 - I can't believe you're using 1615 01:07:58,695 --> 01:08:00,365 belly rubs against me this way. 1616 01:08:00,455 --> 01:08:03,565 - Right. Right. - So we, uh, 1617 01:08:03,785 --> 01:08:05,885 but she did let me sit and, and do some of her 1618 01:08:05,885 --> 01:08:06,405 - Nails. But she has 1619 01:08:06,545 --> 01:08:08,005 - The tolerance for letting it happen is, 1620 01:08:08,005 --> 01:08:09,005 - Is still too. 1621 01:08:09,005 --> 01:08:10,565 Well, I think what we need to do next time 1622 01:08:11,865 --> 01:08:13,525 is let me get her. 1623 01:08:13,945 --> 01:08:16,125 Yes. Because, you know, she sees me. 1624 01:08:16,175 --> 01:08:18,285 She's gonna lay down and roll over in a heartbeat. 1625 01:08:18,285 --> 01:08:19,885 - I know. And the, the problem was, what I was trying 1626 01:08:19,885 --> 01:08:21,325 to do is I was like, this is a good time. 1627 01:08:21,525 --> 01:08:23,605 I have time to do this. Yeah. You have time to do this. 1628 01:08:24,135 --> 01:08:25,565 Let's do this. And it would 1629 01:08:25,565 --> 01:08:26,565 - Just, yeah. 1630 01:08:26,825 --> 01:08:28,525 So yeah. Next, next time. I think we heard her feelings. 1631 01:08:28,715 --> 01:08:31,765 Next time, let me get in there and, and you know. Yeah. 1632 01:08:32,065 --> 01:08:36,765 Get, get get her. Well on the way to, uh, blist them. 1633 01:08:36,955 --> 01:08:37,955 Yeah. , 1634 01:08:38,825 --> 01:08:42,245 - Uh, the cats are menace, but we love them. 1635 01:08:42,245 --> 01:08:44,525 Mm-Hmm. . Um, the kids are okay. 1636 01:08:44,945 --> 01:08:47,325 - Yep. - Uh, we're okay. Mm-Hmm. . 1637 01:08:47,325 --> 01:08:49,805 - Oh, - I got, I mean, I got nothing interesting. 1638 01:08:50,515 --> 01:08:51,885 Nothing interesting. 1639 01:08:53,345 --> 01:08:56,845 - So, um, you know, it's, it's, 1640 01:08:56,845 --> 01:08:58,485 uh, warming up. 1641 01:08:58,615 --> 01:09:03,045 We're we, we've skipped spring and gone the summer. 1642 01:09:03,175 --> 01:09:06,005 We're looking at temps most days in the upper eighties 1643 01:09:06,065 --> 01:09:07,125 now. And 1644 01:09:07,125 --> 01:09:09,325 - It, you know, and even nineties, which that's, 1645 01:09:09,545 --> 01:09:10,725 that's to be expected. 1646 01:09:10,725 --> 01:09:11,885 Mm-Hmm. . It's the humidity. 1647 01:09:12,065 --> 01:09:15,005 And I don't know how I do this. Okay. 1648 01:09:15,315 --> 01:09:17,765 Anybody who's ever, anybody 1649 01:09:17,765 --> 01:09:19,485 who gets a period will probably relate to this. 1650 01:09:19,485 --> 01:09:21,965 And I haven't had a period in how old is my youngest. 1651 01:09:22,425 --> 01:09:24,045 But you know how, for those of you 1652 01:09:24,045 --> 01:09:26,525 who might experience this, you get into what would, 1653 01:09:27,235 --> 01:09:29,405 upon reflection, you would go, this is PMS, 1654 01:09:29,425 --> 01:09:33,445 you hate everybody and you are craving chocolate, 1655 01:09:33,585 --> 01:09:36,205 or you're craving potato, you're craving something 1656 01:09:36,205 --> 01:09:37,365 and you're telling yourself, I don't 1657 01:09:37,365 --> 01:09:38,405 really, I don't really need this. 1658 01:09:38,405 --> 01:09:40,645 And you're, you're kind of miserable, but your emotions 1659 01:09:40,785 --> 01:09:42,365 and you're like, what is wrong with me? 1660 01:09:42,365 --> 01:09:46,605 And then your period hits and you go, oh, if you can relate. 1661 01:09:47,155 --> 01:09:51,045 That is my experience with Florida Summer humidity, 1662 01:09:51,485 --> 01:09:52,685 every fucking year, 1663 01:09:53,015 --> 01:09:54,605 every year it starts to creep up. 1664 01:09:54,605 --> 01:09:56,725 And I'm like, I hate this and I'm miserable. 1665 01:09:56,995 --> 01:09:59,765 What is going on? It is too early for summer, like weather 1666 01:10:00,145 --> 01:10:02,085 and then summer, like weather actually hits. 1667 01:10:02,085 --> 01:10:05,085 And I go, oh, yeah. Yeah. It was the humidity all along. 1668 01:10:05,105 --> 01:10:07,285 And it's same fucking feeling. 1669 01:10:07,385 --> 01:10:09,525 - Mm-Hmm. . - And that's what it's been. 1670 01:10:09,545 --> 01:10:11,405 The temperatures really are not that bad. 1671 01:10:11,665 --> 01:10:13,605 - No. It's - The fucking humidity. 1672 01:10:13,665 --> 01:10:15,605 And you walk outside and you just start to 1673 01:10:15,605 --> 01:10:16,605 - Sweat. 1674 01:10:16,605 --> 01:10:18,245 It's like hitting a wall. Yeah. I don't like it. 1675 01:10:18,345 --> 01:10:19,965 Yep. I know. Don't like it. 1676 01:10:20,785 --> 01:10:21,965 - And yet, I, I forget 1677 01:10:22,105 --> 01:10:24,965 and see the first non humidity day will have 1678 01:10:25,015 --> 01:10:26,485 after summer's, like really? 1679 01:10:26,485 --> 01:10:28,805 Mm-Hmm. . It'll be the most glorious day Oh. 1680 01:10:28,915 --> 01:10:30,565 I've ever experienced in my life. 1681 01:10:30,925 --> 01:10:32,925 I will say something to the effect of, 1682 01:10:33,265 --> 01:10:34,925 if it felt like this all the time, 1683 01:10:35,685 --> 01:10:37,165 I would love it, it would be better. 1684 01:10:37,265 --> 01:10:39,405 But I Mm-Hmm. every year, every year. 1685 01:10:39,465 --> 01:10:42,445 And then the first humidity day we get right 1686 01:10:42,445 --> 01:10:45,085 before summer, I'll be like, why is it so miserable? 1687 01:10:45,085 --> 01:10:46,485 Yeah. I don't like this. 1688 01:10:47,905 --> 01:10:49,685 - Mm-Hmm. - Every time. 1689 01:10:50,065 --> 01:10:54,135 - Yep. Every time. Yep. Yep. So, oh, 1690 01:10:55,995 --> 01:10:57,495 - Oh, that's me banging on my, yeah. 1691 01:10:57,575 --> 01:10:59,215 I don't know how it translates into sound, 1692 01:10:59,435 --> 01:11:00,535 but sorry if you heard that 1693 01:11:01,095 --> 01:11:02,095 - . 1694 01:11:03,195 --> 01:11:05,215 All right. I guess that's, I think that's, uh, 1695 01:11:05,525 --> 01:11:07,175 yeah. About it. 1696 01:11:07,565 --> 01:11:09,855 - Look, when you bear your soul in the episode, 1697 01:11:09,855 --> 01:11:11,775 there's nothing left to bear for the bonus section 1698 01:11:12,055 --> 01:11:12,975 - . That's true. That's 1699 01:11:13,085 --> 01:11:14,085 - True. 1700 01:11:14,085 --> 01:11:17,045 That's true. That's true. Um, yeah. 1701 01:11:17,145 --> 01:11:21,645 We, uh, we're streaming on Saturday for, uh, our Ky q and a. 1702 01:11:21,645 --> 01:11:22,805 Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Our kinky community. 1703 01:11:22,865 --> 01:11:24,565 You can join there through Patreon if you'd like. 1704 01:11:24,905 --> 01:11:28,245 Uh, but we'll be back next week at a different time. Mm-Hmm. 1705 01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:30,125 7:00 PM Eastern on a Wednesday. 1706 01:11:30,745 --> 01:11:33,525 Um, and maybe it will be less miserable. 1707 01:11:33,725 --> 01:11:35,925 'cause right now we're, I feel like I'm melting. Hmm. 1708 01:11:36,105 --> 01:11:39,725 Um, so we're gonna go Yeah. And we will talk to y'all soon. 1709 01:11:39,725 --> 01:11:41,285 Mm-Hmm. , thanks for listening. 1710 01:11:41,285 --> 01:11:42,685 Thanks for being here today. Thanks for joining us. 1711 01:11:42,705 --> 01:11:46,605 Bitter end. Um, okay. That's it. 1712 01:11:46,605 --> 01:11:50,165 I got, I guess I got nothing. Okay. Okay. All right. Bye. 1713 01:11:50,345 --> 01:11:50,565 Bye.