- You are listening to the loving BDSM podcast,
episode 3 92.
Okay. The Lord's here are the one, the only, the so tired
and so not caffeinated enough. John Brownstone.
- Yeah. There's, there's not enough coffee today to, uh,
- No.
This will not be a day where I go, oh, no,
it's too late in the day for me
to have caffeine, , .
It's also not a day where I'll go, why am I so jittery?
Could it be the caffeine? I'll be like,
give me the freaking jitters.
I, I need to move somehow. Right?
Even if it's uncontrollably. Now, that's probably not good.
I shouldn't joke. Anyway, we're, we're not.
We will, we, in this episode probably complain about
how tired we are and talk about why.
Yes, yes. .
So I can't say that's not what we're here for,
because this week we picked this before we were this tired.
But it's just a bonus section episode.
It's just a chitty chat kind of thing.
I do need to talk slash rant about a book I read
that has like, got me in a damn choke hold .
Um, it's, it's a, it's kinky. It's meant to be kinky.
And I have so many fucking thoughts.
Um, I, I need, I need to share .
Um, but for anybody who's like, no, no, I'm here when
for topics, I'm here to learn something.
I'm here to like, to think about a specific kink thing.
Uh, if bonus sections aren't your
jam, you could skip this one.
Our feelings are not hurt.
Um, consent is the most important thing,
and we should be back
to a normal topic kind of thing next week.
Do, do we know what it is yet? No. No, no.
We don't. But we're
- Too damn tired right - Now.
But this week of all weeks, today of all days, focusing
on a topic with the intent to inform
and educate was just not possible.
No. So we weren't even gonna fucking try. Mm-Hmm.
Uh, all that being said, welcome
to the loving BDSF podcast, .
If this is your first time listening, glad to have you.
And yes and no.
It's both always like this and not always like this.
You're back for another week. Welcome back.
Loving BDSM is produced every Monday
and Friday for your kinky pleasure in education.
And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add the podcast
to your favorite podcast app.
You can also follow the show on Fat Life at Loving BDSM pc.
The PC stands podcast on Instagram
and threads at that handle that I will forever fucking hate
to the depths of my soul, uh,
loving Ds and the number one.
So that's at Loving DS one,
or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving bdsm,
where you can watch live stream the podcast every Wednesday.
I'll links during the show notes.
A big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on Patreon,
including our newest peeps.
We are able to keep doing this weird thing on the internet
in large part because of our kinky patrons,
and we are grateful for every fucking one of you.
Yes. Uh, if you'd like to join our kink community
and get access to extra content
and a Discord server with a group of super cool,
super nice kinks, you can do that.
Just join us at patreon.com/kayla lords.
That's patreon.com/kayla lords.
Or use the link in the show notes. And
- Is that the big one or the little one?
- The little - One. Oh, he's finally, uh,
- Yeah, he's his.
Yeah. His sleep is so ha Okay. Hold wonky. Sorry.
Podcast listeners who can't see what the hell's happening.
- You're better off. It's a hot mess today.
It is such a hot mess today.
- Everything. I am a literal and figurative hot mess.
- Yeah. Okay. And I'm just a hot mess by circumstance.
- Yeah. Okay. So let's, I did have a tech,
technically a couple of announcements.
Okay. Trying to pretend that we know
what we're doing around here, .
But because I don't trust this very tired brain of mine. Mm.
I'm gonna look at 'em. It's, they're real simple.
You'd think I'd remember. Don't believe that for a second.
Okay. So the dom sub dynamics virtual summit was,
I can't tell time, but I think that was last week.
It was April 8th through 11th. I believe that was last week.
- Yes, - It's over. Yes, it's done.
But if you missed it
and have a budget for it,
you can purchase replays of the sessions.
You don't get access to any of the bonuses as far as I know.
But you can pay to actually watch all the sessions.
Um, and then I don't think you're not on
that 24 hour time limit
that you would've been last week either.
So if you have any interest, feel free.
The link is in the places. Um, take a look at it.
I understand. If not, hopefully it comes back next year
and we can do this all again.
Um, and then the other thing is, this Friday,
if I counted correctly, 'cause I didn't look at a calendar
'cause why would I do that is April 19th,
and that is our Friday night live stream.
We do it on the third Friday of the month.
As often as like every month we do the live stream.
We try for it to be on the third Friday every month.
'cause we just, like, consistency starts at 9:30 PM
Eastern often.
Most of the time we last until midnight.
Um, I don't see any reason why we wouldn't this
time, but you never know.
. Um, you're feeling a little zombie-like,
over here today, so I don't wanna make any promises.
Um, but I'm sure we will, we hang out and chitchat.
And also, um, at 10 o'clock Eastern,
we also start a q and A.
So you can a and you know, you can queue
and we will a, I mean, you can a and we will queue.
That's, that's also possible. Um, so yeah.
And I try to put that out everywhere so
that folks actually know what's happening.
But hopefully when YouTube is cooperating, the best way is
to subscribe to our YouTube channel.
And Daddy says, turn on the notifications.
But I know the notifications don't always work,
but you just do what Daddy says.
That's just my philosophy in life.
I mean, until I have questions
and then I will do what Daddy says.
But first , I have some questions.
I mean, a fully informed,
enthusiastic consent is what we'd like.
So Sure. I have questions. Not about that though. Mm-Hmm.
So this, uh,
week's episode is basically, uh,
a bonus section episode I do have.
And you have, we have kink things to talk about. Mm-Hmm.
one, they do not follow under a full topic.
Two, they could not take up what I think most
of us consider a full episode.
I know there's somebody out there who's like, oh, wow,
they made it to just an hour for an episode.
That's real short for them. Hallelujah.
But, uh, some of y'all are definitely our people in
that you are creatures of habit and routine.
And you're like, wait, why is this not an hour
and 15 minutes, an hour and 20 minutes?
What has happened? Um, so
- Hash browns.
- Oh God, I'm hungry. We didn't do it before. We
- Did the live stream .
- Um, so we're gonna chitchat.
We got stuff. Mm-Hmm. .
Um, I don't know how long we'll go.
Uh, we have not made any plans for ourselves after this.
Like, no, normally there would be editing
and there would be planning,
and there would be maybe doing some of the work that, that
- Won't be happening today.
Yeah. We might be laying down after this.
- If I, if after this I can lay down naked on top
of the covers of my bed
with one ceiling fan full blast on me from the top
and my fan off to the side of me, and I can just lay there
and maybe stop being so damn hot. I'll be so happy.
- You'd be happy, wouldn't you? You'd be a happy girl.
- Uh, I'm my, I'm starting, I think I'm starting to
cool off a little bit.
Like, not a lot, but a little bit.
And I'm less uncomfortable. So
- , - So,
- And, and I, I just have to say,
and I, I like the song Jennifer Juniper.
- What, what, what that was,
I mean, I see it in the live chat.
Yeah. What Who sang it?
- What's Donovan? Oh
- No.
Okay. Am I too young? Yeah. No.
I know the name Donovan, but I can't place any of it.
- Um, sunshine Superman.
- Why do you think, is that an album title?
- No, it's a song. Oh shit.
- No. Maybe a melody. Maybe a lyric. Oh, okay.
But, and the name Donovan. Sounds familiar.
What era of music are we talking about
and what genre? Sixties
- Folk.
- Oh God, no. Yeah. I would've heard the name Donovan
, but no, no.
Sixties folk music was not, no.
I listened like all, you know, trapped children in a car
with their parents before me.
I listened to my parents' music
and my mother listened to like top 40 pop kind of situation.
My dad listened to the music of his teenage years,
twenties, fifties, and sixties was his preference.
'cause he was born in 41.
So we were not listening to music for the forties. .
Um, and that was all like, it was the classic station.
It was the oldie station. Mm-Hmm. .
So it was like top 40 pop stuff too.
Um, and every once in a while they'd slip a folk song in
there, but it was only the one that like,
somehow made it onto the radio Mm-Hmm.
in that, the time it came out. So, no, no.
I was in college when
a transfer student who woo,
she'd been hopping from college to college for a while.
So she was in her mid twenties
and she was a junior, which was fine.
People get through it, the way they get through it.
She ended up transferring
and being in the dorm room, I shared
with people I ended up
being roommates with for a couple years.
Um, and she's the one that introduced me to James Taylor.
Ah. That is also when I learned.
I, I, that's, that type of music is not my preference.
. But yeah, I saw him in concert. Of course you did.
Of course you did. Of course you did.
So yeah.
Where did, oh, it's 'cause you saw that.
I was like, how did we get here? , .
You know what, you know what?
On the Friday night Live streams
and these, I went back, I went back through our,
our previous episodes.
And we don't do these very often,
but every few months we'll
do one of these random kind of things.
I feel less bad about being chaotic
because the point is to be chaotic .
And since I try to warn y'all what you're getting into
before the episode starts, I feel like anybody
who is still here has agreed to be here.
And except the chaos that ensues.
Um, so where do I wanna start?
Let's start with why With the fuck we're so goddamn tired.
Yeah. Other than life being life, um, stress being stress.
Mm-Hmm. . There's never enough
of the things you need to maybe be less stressed.
Um, the 18-year-old had his final concert
of his freshman year of college, uh, last night.
That would be Tuesday, April 16th.
And, um, normally they're on Thursdays.
So it's, it's weird
that we did this on a Tuesday, but whatever, whatever.
And he was like, are you coming? I'm like, yeah.
And then we found out.
So the very first concert we did not know,
'cause we didn't know how the concerts run.
The very first concert of the school year, back in
September, it was a dual concert
of both the symphonic band, that's what he's in.
And the Wind symphony, which is like the top upper tier
of these students, whatever.
And it was a combined concert and it was two hours long.
And we did not know that because that was our first time.
Well, this last concert was
a high school band conducted by a UF
graduate from the music education department.
They did a concert first,
and then the college students went up.
So it was not as long.
'cause high school student concerts are not as long
as the college student concerts.
No. I mean, it's like half the amount time.
Um, but it made for a longer concert.
And we were not prepared for that.
We knew we weren't gonna get
to see the 18-year-old for more than a minute.
He told me that. He was like, I want you to come.
I can't go do anything afterwards. I was like, good.
'cause I ain't got the budget for us to go do anything
afterwards, but I'll,
you know, I'll come see you and say hi.
I was like, you damn well, better. What the fuck?
I'm, I'm not a chill mom.
And you will come say hello to your mommy.
I'm so sorry, . I'll leave you alone after that.
But I will be acknowledged. Anyway.
Um, so we were there longer than we intended.
He came right out. He's gotten better about that.
I think he's now has a life
where he's got shit he's gotta go do.
So he don't lolly gag as much. Right. Right.
Um, he comes up. He was, he was a little snarky.
He was real blunt. That's, I know.
I know him when he's tired, stressed. Yeah.
Or is ready to go do the thing
that has is like got his real attention.
He's, he gets like that and he, it's fine. He was not rude.
He was just very blunt, . To the point, to the point.
So we knew we were not gonna do like our Culver's run like
we usually do, blah, blah, blah.
Um, which was fine. We didn't need to be doing that anyway.
Um, but we were thirsty and hungry. .
So before we left town, after we said hi
and bye to 'em, whatever, we went to Wawa
because I don't know.
I mean, we are Wawa people at this point,
and I don't know why.
I don't know how, but here we are, .
Um, and it ended up being both great.
And apparently this morning not so great.
, we did not know Wawa was doing free fountain
drinks when we walked in.
Yeah. So we got one drink to share
and then we were trying to find like,
on their little pastries
or cheap little pastries, they'll often do like two
for three or two for four.
And we were looking for those deals
and nothing, there were no signs up.
So we're like, oh, well
we'll get this little thing, whatever.
We get to the register, we find out
that the drinks are free.
So the person behind the register looks at JB
and goes, do you want to go get yourself a drink?
It's free. You know, it's, you can get what you want.
It was clear we were sharing. Yeah.
And, uh, he was like, I can't.
And then I went, do we have to come back to the register?
She's like, no, I see you and I'll know what you're doing.
I was like, cool. And then our little pastries
we're two for $3.
So we walked in thinking, okay, you know,
we'll we're gonna, we're trying to be cheap
and we're just, it's late, so we don't need a lot.
Anyway, we spent three fucking dollars. Right.
I got drinks as big as our heads.
And then , we got honey buns. I'm, I'm a honey bun.
Girly. I should have gotten donut sticks.
Those are my favorite. Anyway, it was, it was dessert time.
I needed a pastry. J b's like, I dunno what I want.
We're looking at him and we come across a Boston
Cream honey bun.
Mm-Hmm. Boston Cream is his jam. Yeah.
- I love Boston. Cream. Donuts. Right. They rock.
- However, somebody is regretting his decision Yep.
To eat a cream filled anything from a gas station, even if
that is the Wawa .
Yeah. I feel like we should have
stopped and thought about that.
Like, do you want something
that's a milk based product from the gas
station that's not fresh? Right.
- Mm-Hmm. like, yeah. I
- Don't, I don't think we thought. Yeah.
- No. It, uh, it, it did not, it it tasted okay eating it.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, it was later, uh, when I went
to bed and it just sat my stomach.
- And I think it's - Still
- Sitting there.
- Yeah. Making - You miserable.
- Not, not, not a good experience.
Won't, won't, we'll not do that again. No. Try it once.
We'll not do it again. .
- Live and learn. Live and learn. Yep.
- Yep. - I know. And my honey bun was, I mean, not great
'cause they're not really that good.
Uh, but now I'm wishing I'd gotten donut sticks. Yeah.
Love donut sticks anyway.
- Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. .
Mm-Hmm. . Anyway.
- Yeah. Um, so then we came home. And so, okay.
Uh, I've said many times in bonus sections, uh,
in past episodes about how I am, uh, obsessively reading.
I know it is tied to my mental health. .
I'm, I have no doubt about that.
Um, I started a book, Oh God, y'all started a book.
We were sitting in the concert hall
waiting for the concert to start.
There was like 10, 15 minutes once we got there.
And I was like, I am bored.
, but we don't have get a reception here,
so I'm not gonna try and do anything on the internet.
So I pulled up a book and started reading it.
Of course, of course. I stopped
when the kids started playing music.
No problem. I did I pull it back up
during intermission when they swapped.
Yes, I did. And then we get in the car to go home
and I, I was chatty with you for a while.
Mm-Hmm. . And then I needed to like
not look at the road anymore.
And so I start reading my book,
or I'm reading and I'm in it.
I'm sniffling. It's, it was a tear jerker. I'm crying.
I'm like, oh my God.
And we're getting closer to home
and Jamie goes, okay, I know it's late and we're tired
and I know what time we normally go to bed,
but I need to like, just sit and just veg.
And I went, same. Mm-Hmm. . My book is good.
So we sit on the couch, we get home, we see the 14-year-old
who didn't go with us, which was fine.
He was enjoying some solitude.
I have not had that in literal years at this point.
And, um, maybe a year.
Anyway, I haven't done solitude in a while. It's fine.
Um, we come home, we say hi to him.
We say hi to Lola
because she's like,
I've clearly been abandoned because you left the house.
We sit on the couch, two quote, like, decompress.
Two hours later it's midnight. Yeah.
I am almost done with my book at this point. .
Debbie's like, we really need to go to bed.
I'm like, no, I have an hour
and some odd minutes left in my book.
He goes, you can read in bed. I'm like, okay.
And then it got real, real good.
So I was like, just going through this book so fast.
I got to where I had 20 minutes left of the book
and we finally went to sleep.
We woke up six hours later. I don't get out of the bed.
Like I have to like warm my engine up
for the day before I get outta the bed.
I don't know if it's a mental thing or a physical thing,
but like, I need to, like, I need to mindlessly scroll.
- I need to, I I could, I could hear her in her head
going, I think I can.
I think I can. I think I can .
- So wake up. I don't wanna be awake. I'm tired. I'm tired.
I'm not built for going
to sleep at one o'clock in the morning.
And even though we like set our alarms for late,
it was still seven o'clock in the morning to wake up.
But I was like, oh shit. I have this book.
I did not get outta the bed till I finished the book.
I did finish the book this morning. It was really good.
It was not kinky at all. It was not overly spicy.
Uh, we did get a moment where the character, the,
the male characters, like, not it's internal monologue.
It wasn't like a statement he made
to the female character about being kind of dominant in bed.
But he was like trying to not show that too much.
'cause she had a lot of fucking trauma,
which is why I was crying through most of this book.
And, um, he expressed that lightly expressed that,
you know, little d dominance.
And I was like, oh, that, that's kind of sexy.
And she was into it, but like, it wasn't a focal point.
It, we never got another line of that again.
And it didn't matter. 'cause it was not
meant to be a smut book.
It was, it was romance.
Um, but also it was, uh, watching this poor woman overcome
awful trauma and triumph in the end.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, so yeah.
Uh, I don't, I don't say, I talk about
how quickly I'm reading books to brag.
'cause it's not, we all read at our own speeds.
And I honestly, when I was a kid Oh yeah.
I, that was where my ego was, my intellectual ability.
I was like, oh, look what I can do. Now.
I'm more like, oh my God, how bad is my mental health
that I am zipping through these fucking books?
What is, what is going on? Oh, that's right.
I don't have the time or the money to go find out .
But you look, I'm not running through the streets naked,
threatening total strangers.
- Okay. No, - No, you're not.
I have not had to be, you know, taken to a hospital
and given the, the fuzzy socks.
Like, I, I mean, I'm just gonna say I'm coping
and books seem to be my coping mechanism.
. Um, also, I think it might be my current,
I won't say hyper fo what I'm trying to learn.
I'm trying to learn myself. I'm trying to learn terms.
And I understand the difference between hyper focus
and, uh, oh God, what's the term,
um, interest?
The one autistic people.
It's not a hyperfocus,
it's a, y'all know what I'm talking about.
Some of y'all know what I'm talking about that
because I've always been a reader.
Mm-Hmm. . Then I had children
and I literally did not pick up a book for like six years
because I had no brain power for it.
And I go through cycles of not reading a lot, um,
reading a shit ton.
Um, and I'm back into that cycle.
So it's like, is it a hyper focus
or did I like just go around the bin back
to my special interest.
Thank you. Mm-Hmm. . Thank you. Um,
somebody in the live chat, poor podcast listeners were like,
I mean, you couldn't hear me
as I was screaming special interest
at you, but, okay.
So, I don't know. I don't know.
It's, it is a hyper focus.
'cause I'm hyperfocused,
but I've loved reading my whole life.
Yeah. So then it's not be, I don't know.
I think it's complicated. I wanna let you
get an word in edgewise.
I'm so sorry. . Um,
because I do want to talk about a kink book I did,
or kinky book I did read.
But I will suck up all the oxygen with that.
So what is on your mind, ?
Because I'm just rambling in my spicy way right now.
- What's on my mind? Mm-Hmm.
The fact that the bags under my eyes have bags.
- Oh yeah. They're, they're ready
for a, a trip around the world.
They're so packed. Yeah.
No, you got to go on a kinky adventure.
- I did last weekend. I, I got, I got to go on an adventure,
um, over the weekend.
Um, I, I can't go into too much detail about it
because I don't really have consent from all
of the above Sure.
To talk about it. But, um, I went to
a demonstration on fire play
and it was absolutely amazing.
Uh, the folks putting on, on the
demonstration were fantastic.
Uh, really good at did a good job of, of talking about it,
explaining it, and then showing it. Mm-Hmm.
- also, let me
interject before you get too deep.
There were two John Brownstone sidings.
So if you know who you are, hi. We're so happy.
- Hi. Thank you. . You, uh, you you
- Found him. Okay, go ahead. Mm-Hmm.
- .
And, uh, basically what, what it, um, it encompassed
was fire cupping, uh, fire streaking.
- That one makes me so nervous.
I mean, clearly it can be done without Mm-Hmm.
. But that one makes me so nervous.
- And fire bubbles.
- That one my, I can't wrap my mind around what that Mm-Hmm.
what that is. Like I've
seen, I've seen cupping.
Yeah. So, and I think I've seen years ago a demo fire
cupping, and I am interested in cupping.
Mm-Hmm. , uh,
I've seen fire streaking once Yeah.
Years ago. That one makes me super nervous.
What are, what are fire bubbles? Oh.
And Lola's now dreaming.
- Lola's having a dream. a very active dream. You
- Get that squirrel cat or bird in your dream man.
Right.
- Don't let it, um,
so the, the fire bubbles, uh, basically what,
and, and I will try to explain it as best I can.
And, and please don't use this as a guide to run out
and do it No,
- No.
- Um, it, it's using, uh, propane,
uh, water and dawn dish soap.
- Man, dawn dish soap can be used
for literally fucking anything.
- Dawn. Dawn is great stuff.
Ly I, I used
to use it years ago when I did lawn maintenance.
And, you know, I, I've had to spray things. It
- Saves the environment
- With, with, with the way it rains here in Florida, you,
you use it to keep the, uh, you know,
whatever you're spraying on the plants without
washing off in the rain.
Wow. So. Wow.
But, um, anyway, um, all that, all that being said,
uh, basically you're trapping
the propane in the bubbles and then you scoop up the bubbles
and you put them on your person.
Mm-Hmm. . And then you ignite the bubbles and
- Wow.
Okay. So a couple people asked about fire streaking. Mm-Hmm.
. I've seen it. I could not describe it though.
- Okay. Um, fire streaking - .
- Yeah. Hank he'll just, yes, he did cure of happiness.
Yes, he did. Yes he did.
- Hank hill's like yes. - Mm-Hmm.
- , I'm in propane business.
- Right. Um, now fire streaking is where
you take isopropyl alcohol
and not just any, it has to be a certain percentage.
Mm. And dip cotton ball.
And then you take the cotton ball
and you swab it along the skin.
Mm-Hmm. . And then you light,
- And then the fire runs down that Yep.
Mm-Hmm. . Now, I, I'm assuming you
rub the alcohol on, don't let it dry.
Correct. Like it's a, it's an instantaneous,
like you finish you light.
'cause Yeah. If you, if it dries, there's no streaking,
there's just burning at that point. Right.
- Well, not, and,
and this is what, this is something that,
that was explained in all this and,
and I kind of knew this Mm-Hmm.
, um, liquid is not flammable. Mm.
Okay. You take gas in a liquid form. Mm-Hmm. .
And it is not flammable is
- The liquid - Gas is not flammable.
It's the gases that
- The liquid is not flammable. It's the gas coming off
- Of it, coming off of fumes we might say, or fumes.
So when you take and,
and you run that swab of alcohol on the skin Mm-Hmm.
, you're not, you're not,
what is on the skin is not, is not ign igniting.
It's, it is the, the fumes coming off. Coming
- Off.
So if the alcohol dried, would the fumes still be there?
- Possibly. - Hmm. Don't anybody ever try fire any fucking
thing without a lot of fucking training from people
who know what the hell they're doing. Yeah.
- Okay. Just - Don't.
- And, and, you know, um, let me say this, one of the things
that was, that was stressed, uh, right up at the beginning,
um, if you do this, you do not want to have any oils,
any lotion that leaves any oils
- Okay.
- On your body. Um, yeah.
You, you, you don't want to have any kind, lotions,
perfumes, things are
- Flammable, - Anything like that.
Um, if, if you intend to wear, um,
any, any clothes, they have
to be natural fiber. Mm.
- Okay. - Okay. Okay.
Um, you know, anything polyester, rayon,
spandex, anything like that?
No, absolutely not.
- It makes, that makes sense.
Mm-Hmm. That makes sense.
- And, uh, the biggest thing that,
that was pointed out right at the beginning,
um, fire extinguisher. Oh
- Yeah.
That would make total sense. Okay. That
- Would make total fire extinguisher, you know, like, like
anything else, um, risk involved in any, any type of play.
And, um, you know, you,
you need to mitigate the risks. Sure.
- Oh, - Sure. You know, um, hair tied long,
you know, long hair tied and, and, and off to the side. Um,
- I imagine there, there's a lot of prep
for play like that. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. .
- Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. So, um, it was, it was fun.
Um, the fire cupping.
I, I really think you would probably like that.
- So remind me, just
because again, cupping and fire cupping Mm-Hmm.
I've seen demos of, but that's not,
was never close enough to like, or, and
nor do I remember now the procedure.
Mm-Hmm. . So how does cupping
slash fire cupping?
- Okay. Like, um,
- 'cause cupping is a medical thing, a therapeutic thing
that we just perverted is all we did.
Right. Because you can Mm-Hmm.
go to, like, you can get cupping things
that's used in like sports therapy
and like for people who use cupping
for medical purposes will be able to explain better.
Mm-Hmm. . But, so yeah.
- Kind of, and, and just lemme backtrack. Sure.
Rah mentioned about fire blankets. Yes.
That, that is another option.
Um, and that is something that he had there
that he, he showed Gotcha.
That, that is available as a safety for that,
uh, fire blanket.
So they had both fire blanket and, uh, extinguisher Gotcha.
There for safety. And
- This might be the one time that every, at least
eighties kid learned probably nineties kid too.
'cause I remember being reminded we will,
you could finally maybe have a reason
to use stop, drop and roll
- . Look,
- The eighties made me think I was going Yeah.
And it makes sense 'cause everything was flammable then.
Mm-Hmm. that I was going to spontaneously
ignite and be caught on fire at any point and
or die by quicksand.
Like I, that, that's just what my childhood taught me.
. Yeah. Now the fire thing makes most more sense
because everything was fucking flammable in the eighties.
- Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Yeah.
Um, cupping actually is something
that has been perverted.
Yeah. Um, it is an actual, um, massage. It's
- Massage.
Okay. I knew, but I know it's used medicinally for it.
- It, - It's like Olympians use it
and sports people use it.
- Yeah. Um, I, I'm trying to say tell muscles
or cooper, it's like an oriental type.
- An Asian - Asian. Yeah. Okay. Uhhuh .
Um, that is supposed to be beneficial.
It's supposed to, you know, relax muscles, help circulation.
Right. Different things like that.
And we just perverted it and, and it, and,
and it has been perverted.
Uh, basically what it is, it, it's like a little, a jar.
A little jar, and you take,
and you, with a cotton swab, you
swab alcohol Okay.
Into the jar. You light it, it ignites,
you put it down on the skin immediately
and it, the fire at that point, lack of oxygen goes out.
Right. But it creates a suction. Mm-Hmm. .
Okay. And it, it pulls the skin up into the cup.
- Yeah. And that's kind
of my understanding of cupping in general.
How is cupping done then to get that effect without fire?
Is it just put it over and it just kind of
- Happens?
No, there, the, the other way of doing it, if you,
you don't want to do without fire, there are, uh,
cupping sets that have like a vacuum. Ah,
- Okay.
That makes sense. That
- Makes sense.
Okay. The, they have like a one-way valve
and you hook up a little pump and you,
- So it's like a penis pump, but for your back.
Yeah. I mean that a penis pump
that is, how many of them work?
They either have a hand pump or
they have like a valve, but Mm-Hmm.
just, that's from,
that's from a sex toy writing day. So . Yeah.
- So yeah. That, that's,
that's the two Gotcha. Two basic ways
- I my limited understanding of cupping in general.
Mm-Hmm. is on the vast majority of people,
I'm sure there's an outlier somewhere,
but on the vast majority of people is gonna make
serious marks too.
How long does it Sure.
Somebody knows how long those marks on average last.
I mean, we're talking like,
you can't show bare skin for like a
- Week or a day or, yeah, no.
The, the marks. The marks do last.
Um, and
depending on the size cup use,
because there's varying sizes Sure.
From large, medium, small, depends on
how big the Mm-Hmm.
, the, the mark is, I'm
- Trying to think.
I feel like the first time I heard of cupping,
and it was probably around the time we saw that demo
however long ago.
Mm-Hmm. . We did not live
in this part of Florida at the time.
Mm-Hmm. This is how long ago it was.
I'm trying to think of how the sensation was
described to me.
It's not the same sensation as impact, but I think,
and somebody who's experienced it
and would not classify this, why, please, please share.
I wanna say the person relayed that
it's not thud in the sense like impact has thud Mm-Hmm.
. But like, it is deep because
it's a massage thing.
Yeah. Um, and the, the way I remember it,
and I have mind like a sieve, was that there,
the way it was explained is if you like thud sensation,
then you might enjoy cupping
because of the, the deepness of it.
Mm-Hmm. like sting tends to be surface level.
Yeah. Like that's, that's why
it's, you know, that's how that works.
And I don't, I don't know if that's, if I'm re remembering
that correctly or not,
but I think that's why I was drawn
to it other than the marks I'm, I'm a sucker
for fucking marks, but Okay.
- Yeah. So J Jay just said still has the marks
that, and that's and that was Saturday night. Yeah.
- Four days ago. Yeah.
That was the time we're recording. Mm-Hmm. . Cool.
- Cool. Yep. But like Rah said, um, you know,
because cupping is something that is a
actual Sure.
Spa treatment type of thing, you can kind of get away with.
- I remember learning that cupping was a thing in kink
and then seeing, was it,
was it Michael Phelps right before he retired?
I don't remember when he retired,
but seeing, I think it was Michael Phelps,
or maybe it was just another swimmer.
I don't know how I was even watching swimming.
That's not a sport I gravitate to watching, but whatever.
Mm-Hmm. and had the cupping marks.
And I remember in privately getting
a little giggle about that.
Yeah. Because I was like, oh, I know you did it for like,
its intended purposes, but Yeah.
- Okay. . Now, I, I also will add with the cupping,
um, they, they made a point numerous times.
Um, the cups
should stay on no longer than 10 minutes.
- Mm. That makes sense. You'd be cutting off,
uh, blood circulation.
Yeah. Blood flow. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. .
That makes sense. Mm-Hmm. . Okay. Thank you.
Rah. Rock rah says, yes, it was Michael Phelps.
And see, I felt like it had to be
because, uh, other than Greg Ganis, ganni,
however, from like, when I was a kid Mm-Hmm.
, Michael Phelps is the only male swimmer
that I could even fucking name.
Yeah. Um, Katie Ledecky, I think is her last name.
I remember her 'cause she breaks all these fucking records
as a female swimmer.
But Yeah. Um, Michael Phelps was Michael Fucking Phelps.
Mm-Hmm. and I, yeah. I remember seeing the,
the cupping and I think the announcer, whatever was like,
oh, do you see those marks?
This is cupping. And I'm like,
- .
Yeah. So, so basically what, um,
what it is when you put the first cup on
the timer starts Mm.
- Gotcha. - And then, you know, once you get close to
that mark, depending, you need to start,
- Start - Taking 'em off. Taking 'em off.
- So the act of from, I mean,
clearly this'll vary based on experience level,
but since you watch the demo of somebody
who knows what the fuck they're doing Yeah.
The, from grabbing the cup thing, doing the swab,
lighting on fire, popping it down.
Is it a pretty, once you have a flow to it,
is it a pretty quick thing or is it like a
- A Oh, oh, you have to finagle.
It's, it's, it's a pretty quick thing. Okay. Okay.
Um, I did get to try it. That's
- Right.
You told me that. You told me that. Yeah. Yeah.
- Did, did get to try it. Um, yeah.
It's, it's, um, it was cool. I, I enjoyed it. Mm-Hmm.
,
- I could not start with fire cupping .
Mm-Hmm. . I am, I am not
that fucking relaxed at all.
Yeah. In any part of my life.
But I, yeah, I would definitely try cupping. Mm-Hmm.
. And you know what I think other than any
noises I might make for people who, um, are looking
for things you can do quietly Mm-Hmm.
because you've got too many damn
people in your fucking house.
Right. Uh, children or adults, but you just, I, you know.
Yeah. As long as the, the bottom,
the submissive is not screaming from
a sensation .
I would imagine that would be a very quiet one.
That is, is that
- Yeah, it is.
It is. It is very quiet.
Um, there, there really is no, um,
with, with the cupping itself, from what I have heard,
all the people who tried it, uh, bottom wise, um,
it feels warm,
but there's no, you know, like overly hot.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. , you know,
heat burning sensation, um, the
streaking a little bit more.
- Sure. That makes sense. Mm-Hmm.
it's much closer contact with your
- Skin.
Yeah. And, um, and and the same with, or
- Is it, - I dunno, the bubbles,
- That makes more sense to me because Mm-Hmm.
the way a lack of oxygen will
suck out a fire Yeah.
Versus a fire burn even quickly burning itself out.
That, that makes sense to me now. Rah.
Rahs being super helpful or not
so helpful depending on your perspective in the live chat.
And I will relay because I too am super
helpful slash not very.
Yeah. Uh, rah rah says you can make cupping sadistic
by moving the cups and or twisting them.
Twisting. Yep. I don't even know
what the sensation actually is,
but did my, everything clinch at the thought of that
because I, I have a sadistic daddy
who is also a bratty daddy,
and I could see a bratty, sadistic daddy going Ha.
Right. Like, they're like dials. Oh my God. Oh my God.
- Yeah. Yeah. And, and Jay brought up a good point too.
Um, one of the things, when you have the jar
and you swab it Mm-Hmm.
, before you light it,
you want to give it a couple shakes.
- Gotcha. Okay. - 'cause you don't want any liquid to
- Still be in there, - To still be in there
because when you turn it over, then it ooh, you,
you don't want the liquid to run down. Who,
- Let me just say again, if any of this is intriguing
to you, don't do a fucking thing
based on what we're talking about.
Go fucking learn from people who know what they've like,
who have the experience.
Mm-Hmm. . Okay. Oh,
so, oh my God.
- So yeah, it, um, it was fun. Mm-Hmm.
- . - It was, um, it was interesting.
Um, yeah. Mm-Hmm. . Yeah.
A lot of fun, you know?
And, um, you know, don't just run out and try it.
Um, you know, a lot of things to consider with this be,
you know, to be be you want to be safe, um,
you know, and, um, yeah. Mm-Hmm?
- . Mm-Hmm. .
- Yeah. Yeah. No. You know, um, one of the, one
of the things, um,
they talked about was drips.
- Mm-Hmm. . - Um, especially
with anything like when you're doing the, the streaking, um,
it is up to the bottom if they feel anything
dripping running Yeah.
Or dripping down. Mm-Hmm.
need to say something immediately.
- Gotcha. So then that would tell me
that if you are a person who, for any medically or
otherwise, does not always feel sensations easily on your
skin, you're gonna wanna find a workaround or rethink.
Mm-Hmm. . Because that Yeah,
that sounds very important.
That's how the fire would just spread, right?
'cause as long as the liquid's there, then the fumes
of the liquid are still still
coming off of it, right? Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, you want to, you want
to be very careful with that.
Um, you can do
both either side of the body.
Oh. Um, you want best case scenario,
you want the person laying flat.
Gotcha. Okay.
Um, if they're standing up, you know,
and you do a swab,
everything's gonna tend to wanna run down.
You want to keep everything as flat.
- What - If
- As possible, you, yourself, your body is not flat.
Well, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, okay.
It could never be on my ass
because there's nothing flat about that.
Thankfully, thankfully, knock on one, uh,
could not be on my front
because nothing there is flat either .
So, okay. I would be a shoulders and back girly.
Good to know. Good to know. , good to know.
I know the valleys
- Of this body well. Yes. Yes. There'd
- Be, there'd be runoff.
Mm-Hmm. . There'd just,
- Yeah.
And, and for that reason, you know, there, there're
someone laying on the back.
You wanna stay away from the, the butt crack, you know?
Ooh, ooh. You don't, you don't, you don't want get,
you know, even if they're laying down, you, you,
you don't want to get anywhere.
It's gonna be near that. It could run into the arm
- Pit.
Yeah. Cracks and crevices. Yeah. You
wanna, anything like that. That makes sense. That
- Makes sense.
So, you know, those, those are all caveats
and those are things you need to know and understand
before embarking upon this.
- But also just go to some demos and workshops and Yes.
Learn from experienced folk. Mm-Hmm. . Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Just whew.
- But it was, it was good. Mm-Hmm.
- , you were gone, you went on your adventure.
You were gone for 24 hours. Yep.
I handled that better than I thought I would. Okay.
But you know what I learned? Okay, so we had this,
it wasn't a full conversation.
I was just throwing out rando shit for my brain yesterday.
And I think, oh, it was
because in our discord server, um,
we have an episode discussion thread.
Um, and folks have started using it
and go in there, talk about whether it's the short
episodes or the long episodes.
If they have thoughts, they'll go talk about it.
And we, the group got into a conversation about mm-Hmm.
, um, being non-monogamous
and, um, some different views on it.
And so it got us talking about that.
And, um, I said, I said that ev first of all,
I've said it many years, I'm non monogamy
in theory, not in practice.
Um, , look,
I am never gonna seek out another human being.
Me sending an email to JB, um,
was a once in a lifetime thing. Okay.
- The, the planets were aligned at that moment.
Just Yeah, yeah,
- Yeah.
Mercury was in the microwave. It, it just all worked out.
Mercury, , I can, I mean,
I couldn't have in Sure, sure.
But man, those stars will
really have to fucking align again.
Yeah. So, um,
but every time
something in our life centers around your non-monogamy,
I have to confront something about myself.
Like, I just, I go through it. Okay.
And I always realize once I hurt my own feelings, um,
, once I stop hurting my own feelings, I should say
that it is always a thing within me.
It's like stuff from my childhood, it's stuff from other,
like, it's all that it's not about, you know,
not wanting to do this
or not being comfortable
with it is always stuff, internal stuff to me.
But I figured out a thing that, how did it get us
to 10 years before I figured this out?
I was fine
because as you did major transitions, not, oh, we're going
to a meal now and then we're going to this.
But like, um, I'm on the road headed
to blah blah place.
I have arrived at blah blah place,
I'm leaving, blah, blah place.
Mm-Hmm. , you would just send me a real quick
text and go, Hey, leaving location arrived at location.
Yep. And so, in my mind, I kind of knew where you were.
I didn't have to know what was going on.
I understood we had a conversation,
but like, I didn't like my brain.
I'm, I was not filling in blanks.
I just, I just had a sense of where you were in the journey.
Mm-Hmm. . .
And so I was just so much fucking calmer
and I don't know, I mean, could I psychoanalyze it?
Yeah. Gimme a, a few minutes,
but I don't really feel like it Mm-Hmm.
. And so I don't exactly know what
that is about, but it just made for a much easier time.
Yeah. I mean, did you fuck my
brains out before you left?
That helped . That also helped .
That also helped. Um, so yeah.
I mean, it was, I was, I was happy for you
because, you know, you wanted to go do the thing.
You got to go do the thing.
Um, I was proud of me
for not hurting my own goddamn feelings.
That's, that is the problem. Every time. Time, every time.
. And I think part of it is, is
because you, you have not had, since we've been together,
the opportunity to go have your adventures
consistently correct.
Like, you might have had a partner
and you might see them once every six months, once a year.
It was mostly online. It was
mostly by phone, stuff like that.
And so me navigating it from my little side, which is
all my internal stuff, just isn't consistent enough.
Right. And I'm so 10 years into our relationship,
I am still learning shit about myself every time.
Like I, I'm still getting to new comfort levels,
which is fascinating to me.
And I'm annoyed 'cause I'm like, I, I am fine with this.
I'm legitimately okay with this.
I would like to be mentally healthier.
though that wouldn't we all
that wouldn't we all know?
Um, yeah. So yeah. So yeah. But that's the thing I learned.
Okay. I learned like just, I don't need
to know all the details, what you
are comfortable telling me when you get back.
Mm-Hmm. based on my comfort level as well.
Right. I actually don't wanna know a lot of details.
That feels too much like voyeurism to me.
And I'm just like, Nope, nope. No, thank you.
Um, but like the stuff that I think what it is, is the stuff
that is about your health.
Mm-Hmm. like your wellbeing
that I want to fucking know.
Well, sorry. Sorry.
Um, a bitch will lose her fucking mind
if something happens to jb.
Okay. . Oh, he didn't know.
He has to be immortal now, but here we are. Okay.
Um, but yeah, so that Yeah. Yeah.
The thing I learned, okay. On your kinky adventure
- And, uh, folks are wondering about the, uh,
- My finger caught - The, the finger.
Um, you know, yeah.
You, you, you, you, you totally ruined, uh,
the company's safety record here.
- Yeah. OSHA's gonna hate us. Yeah. .
So podcast listeners, you cannot see. No.
And you might have seen if you, it's very niche.
You have to follow the kry on Instagram
and look at our stories
consistently enough not to ever miss a story.
So that was like, what, four of you. That's fine. .
Okay. Um, I hurt my thumb.
I actually hurt my pointer finger.
Or actually the very bottom like joint
just below my pointer finger.
Two separate accidents, 10 minutes apart ,
because I'm, sometimes I'm slow
to learn from a mistake.
Okay. So, um, I'm not gonna show
'cause I don't wanna gross anybody out
and I'm gonna try not to describe it too
much 'cause I don't wanna gross anybody out.
So I'm gonna gloss over some
- Of that.
Basically she's got a boo booo,
- Hey, this is a little bit more than a,
it did not require stitches,
but it is a little bit more than a random boo boo
because this is gonna suck for a few weeks.
Anyway, I was out in the garage,
that shop while JB was out in the
tiny shop behind the house.
I was in the garage and I was working on our
resin inlay paddles.
And the process that we have come to for pouring resin
and getting it to do right and blah, blah blah.
It involves, um, there being a point in time
where something, things that are stuck to the wood
that are not supposed to be there.
Some of it comes off with me using a putty knife.
Now have I had close calls since we started this method?
And have I questioned, should I be allowed
to use the putty knife?
Knife implies blade.
The rule is Kayla don't have to be around blades
'cause it ain't safe for anybody.
But I've mostly been fine, had close calls. I've been fine.
Two Tuesday morning I go out into the garage
and I'm starting to try
and get this thing off the paddle to prep it
for sanding tomorrow with the putty knife.
And I'm not paying enough attention to placement of
hand holding the wood and placement
and angle of putty knife in my right hand.
And I go and I just swoop
and the corner of this dirty ass fucking
putty knife Oh my god.
Goes right into the bottom joint under,
below my pointer finger.
And it's just like a cut, quick cut.
I mean, I watched it just slide right
- In.
Yeah. Now under understand something
because of what this,
this particular putty knife is used
for several different things. . It's
- So dirty.
- Okay. Yes it is. It is. It's dirty.
Um, but, um,
I have a old wheel from a grind grind wheel.
Mm-Hmm. . And I actually take,
and I run the edges that sense to keep it sharp
because of what I do it.
- So that's why it just glided into my hand.
Like cutting through butter. Yeah. Okay. Good to know.
- It's, it's like a, it's sharpened like a
- Knife.
It's always effective. Okay. .
So I go, I'm like pissed at myself. 'cause that was stupid.
I just wasn't paying attention. I go into the bathroom,
I clean it off, put a waterproof, um, bandaid on it.
'cause I'm gonna be wearing gloves
and my hands get sweat, blah.
I'm like, okay, okay.
And I walk out of the bathroom going, you know what?
Today might not be the day to be doing anything
with a fucking putty knife, .
And I, I have that thought.
And then apparently when I got back
to the garage, I forgot that thought.
And I went, no, no. As long as I'm careful, I,
I know what I did wrong here.
I'll just be careful. It'll be fine.
I had, but I, I had been,
I had barely used the putty knife this second time
after I'd had the thought of maybe I should not.
And oh, we fine. I had barely done anything.
And not only, and I really did think I had placed everything
properly, but I just, I lost control of it.
That's why I'm not allowed to run blades, y'all.
And it went into the tip of my thumb
and threw into my fingernail.
So it, the cut starts at the tip of my thumb
and goes right into my fingernail, almost to the side
of my thumb.
Like, not quite, but almost
- Now, I will say, um, - Silent.
We are not up to date our tetanus
- Shots.
That's the problem. . She's not. No.
- I think my last one was when I was like 18
- .
Oh yeah. We, we need, we need to, uh, yeah.
We, we need to, uh, yeah. I
- Probably need a - Tetanus shot.
Yeah. Next time we go to the need
to mention something about that.
Yeah. Yeah. So,
but, um, anyway, um, you know, some
of y'all may kind of like cringe a little bit about this,
but, um, it was probably a good thing
that the putty knife was sharp.
Mm. Because it is a clean
- True.
True, true, true. And I have heard that before.
- Clean, clean cut.
- And it, and the pain from it actually came once my brain
processed what the fuck I had just done.
Yeah. So now I am pissed at myself
because I I just, are you fucking kidding me?
10 minutes ago. Yeah.
But I'm also scared 'cause this is a way bigger cut.
Like I didn't pull back in time. Yeah.
And I know fingernail stuff, man, that shit fucking hurts.
And it hurts for a long time because it's gotta grow out.
And I'm like, fuck. So, and I,
and it's too big of a cut for me to like,
it wasn't like putting a bandaid on this other one.
So I go into the bathroom
'cause I want to immediately get it under water.
I don't know if that's what I'm supposed to do,
but there was just enough blood that I went,
this should not be allowed to just freely whatever, blow.
Not not through the house anyway, . Yeah.
And I actually picked up my phone
and I called JB from the bathroom and
- Went, yeah, I - Need your help.
I the putting, and I can't do this by myself. .
- So yeah. She, she was working, doing this in the garage.
Yeah. And I was working in, in the backyard,
in the tiny shop and,
and I was, um, sharpening a basket of knives. ,
- Ironically. Yeah.
- . And, and my phone rings
and, and when I'm working,
I pretty much ignore my phone. I know.
- I would've was gonna have to keep calling and keep calling
- Yeah.
- If you didn't answer. - And, um, luckily, I,
I have her on a special, um, ringtone
so I know it's you. Mm-Hmm. .
- Mm-Hmm. . - And,
and I heard, heard the ringtone
and I immediately shut everything down
and answered and yeah.
She's like, I need you to come in and help me.
And I'm trying, I start, I'm injured.
- I start trying to tell the story
and he just goes, I'll be right there.
. . I was like, yeah, I, I guess I don't have
to, it's not like I'm waiting for him
to get home 20 minutes from now.
- Yeah. Yeah. - So he, uh, it didn't,
it wasn't hurting that bad.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, I was, the pain part was,
was really not, it was just more
of a, oh God, I can't believe I did that.
I was, I was crying, but I was crying.
Not because it was in pain or scared, but
because I was so pissed off at myself.
Yeah. And we have had, we do not have the luxury
of an injury, first of all,
- - Or for me
to be outta commission and not be able to work.
That is, yeah. Like it's just
not a fucking option right now.
Mm-Hmm. Um, so I was stress crying and he comes in
and he, um, I told him, I was like,
the one thing you will not do is put fucking
liquid bandage on this one.
You're not coming at me with that fire
- Shake.
When, when I, when I hurt my finger with the, uh,
pressure washer and I put the liquid bandage on it, um,
not much ever really makes me react.
- You tend to be pretty stoic about, you
- Know, that kind of stuff. Yeah. Um,
- He screamed - Young. I, I yelled. Yeah.
- And I was like, oh, I'll never use liquid bandage.
Ever, ever, ever.
Now at that point, he did have a literal hole in his palm,
even though he wants to call it a cut.
It was gouge. Whatever, whatever.
We, we talked about that last week, I think. Anyway, it
- Was a scratch.
- Yeah. .
Anyway, so he gets a bandaid
and it's, of course the top
of your fucking finger is the worst place to get something.
'cause you can't easily like just wrap it up without like,
saran wrapping up actually .
So he gets a bandaid on, it's still, it's still bleeding.
He puts this, um, thumb, I guess finger.
I don't know if it's made specifically
for thumbs or it's for any
- Finger.
It's fanny finger. Yeah.
- Um, puts this gauze finger thing over it.
So it's like a sock instead of a condom.
And then he takes this plastic little thing
that is literally rolled up like a fucking condom y'all.
And rolls it over and it protects it.
'cause I was gonna go back out and work. Mm-Hmm.
. I was not that injured. And so I walked
around and it, man, it, it was tight around this finger.
Yeah. And I wore it like that all day.
'cause I was just constantly going and doing and whatever.
And last night we just kind
of put a bandaid over 'cause it wasn't bleeding anymore.
But this morning I needed to take that off.
I needed to wash the finger. I needed to. Yeah.
But then something got close to the fingernail .
Mm-Hmm. . And I went, oh, oh no.
This can't be left out for my clumsy ass to
- Hang in .
That's, that, that's gonna be very, very, it's gonna suck.
Yeah. It's gonna be tender for a while. This
- Is gonna suck.
Because what I was noticing that I didn't see yesterday,
it couldn't 'cause it was bleeding.
Um, the nail is already where that slice is,
is already widening.
It's not lifting off the nail bed yet.
I don't know if it will, but it's widening where
between the, the two sides.
And I know if I try to clip that nail
or whatever as it goes up until it like heals
underneath the cut itself, I guess heals,
it's gonna fucking hurt.
And so we have today, we,
we wanna protect the finger condoms, like hold onto them
because those are for when you're working out in the shop
or you know you're gonna get your hands wet or dirty.
Mm-Hmm. . And I'll have
to wear one tomorrow if I go work out in the shop.
So today it's a piece of gauze with medical tape.
- . Yeah. .
And it's my whole, and,
and you know, silent made a good point.
I have plenty of super glue in the shop.
- You're not coming at me with none of that bullshit. Okay.
I understand. Super glue is used to heal up once. Yeah.
That's lovely. Stay away from me. Okay.
, stay away from me. Stay away from me.
- I mean, I've done it before. I mean, you, you, you go
to a, you go to an er with, and that's what they do.
And they put, they put super glue on it.
So, you know. I know, I know. But
- No, no, thank you.
Now what? I don't know 'cause I don't wanna
make assumptions 'cause God knows.
Mm-Hmm. . I love y'all, but every one
of y'all will fucking correct me.
. Comparing the sensation of liquid bandage.
What does super glue feel like when you put it in?
A wound doesn't burn. Mm-Hmm. Not even, not even a
- No.
- Do you feel it? - A little bit?
- What do you feel? Describe that
- Please. Little tingle.
- Nope. Nope. I don't even want to tingle . Nope,
- Nope, - Nope,
nope, nope,
- Nope, nope, nope.
- Thank you. Silent. She called it.
She said for anybody who can't see live chat, she goes, liar
- Things.
- No. Like, look. Yes.
The er and hospitals use it,
but they, you know what, they also use numbing agents,
so you don't have to feel shit.
Do you have a numbing agent? So I don't have to feel shit.
Look, get me drunk
and I'll let you do whatever the fuck you want
to my thumb except liquid bandage. That will always be a
- Red.
The numbing agent is when I, when I step on your toe
and then your toe hurts, you forget about
what I'm super gluing .
- No, no, no.
So yeah. That's why my
- Thumbs rush.
And, and Felix said it's the same stuff. Yeah.
And, and I believe the liquid bandage, it's just kind of,
um, thinned down. It's not as,
- As astringent maybe.
Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Gotcha. Yep.
So we're after one o'clock
and under normal circumstances
we go, we go into the bonus section.
I actually have not told one
of the things that's on my mind.
And I, this is just a long rambly thing. Okay.
And I would like to get off the top of my thumb if I can.
Okay. Before I go into what you know is a rant slash ramble,
'cause I made you go through the first iteration of it.
Uh, is there anything else on your mind? ,
- Excuse me. No, go for
- It.
Okay. First though, uh, love not hate says that's hilarious.
Hearing from acus. What if j JB put it on you?
First of all, there's good pain and there's bad pain.
the liquid bandage, super glue.
Just putting the fucking bandaid on is all bad pain. Okay.
, do not consent to it. . Um, okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay. This week, right
before I finished my tear druker
that I was rambling about earlier I read, I read a book
that I'd actually been not nervous to read,
but I worried it would not live up to my expectations.
Okay. The book is called To Collar A Queen by Zara
or Zara, Blake or Black.
Hmm. I don't remember anymore.
Um, but the title is to call her a Queen. Okay.
And it is kinky. It's definitely kinky. It is well written.
Mm-Hmm. . It was like, this was not one
of those where I was like, good Lord, dad.
Why did you describe it like that?
There you could have said the same thing, like with
80 less words.
Like, like none of that. None of that.
It was well written, well crafted. Okay.
And the premise was interesting.
And there's Jamie's phone ringing.
The premise was really interesting.
So this is a world where there are different kingdoms.
And the humans, um, several hundred years
before had fought off, um, the Fay, right, um,
fairy kind of thing, but not fairy like Tinkerbell the Fay.
But prior to fighting them off,
they'd been enslaved by them.
They fought like a war
or whatever, pushed them back to like their side
of like the veil.
They didn't use the term the veil,
but if you read like fairy stuff, you,
you would think of it that way.
Um, and they had been fee free in their world on their side
of this barrier thing.
Actually, it's like a portal, um, for a few hundred years.
But what had started happening
after they pushed the Faye out,
and it was just humans again, is periodically women,
adult women only adult women, not children, not men, would
kind of air quote become Fay.
They called them changelings. Like one day.
They're, they're normal humans. South.
The next day they have these bright burning blue eyes.
They have enhanced abilities.
Um, they have, um, like stronger senses, better sense
of smell, whatever they can shoot fire from their hands.
Um, when they change, when these women change,
it's usually uncontrollable.
They don't even know what's happening to them.
But, so they accidentally kill
people when they first change.
Um, and over these hundreds of years,
what's developed is that once you are a changeling,
you are no longer hu considered human.
And you are treated
as if you were almost like a dangerous animal.
Um, because there's
so much hatred in this world for the Faye.
So anybody who becomes Faye is immediately a threat,
immediately, like not seen as human, um, othered.
And then because as they're freak figuring out something's
different with them, they, this power busts out their hands.
And pe innocent people often die.
They're considered completely dangerous.
So originally in the lore of this world, they were enslaved.
They were imprisoned.
But the thinking goes is that Faye, if you don't find a way
to like deal with 'em, they become feral
because they're closer to animal than human
because of the prejudices of the Faye world.
So you get that as backstory pretty quickly.
None of that's a spoiler.
Very early in the book, this queen who's only been a queen
for six months, who wants to change how the Faye,
the Changelings, are treated in her, at least her kingdom,
but hasn't been able to get through the power structures
of it on her 20th birthday party changes.
And she is then immediately subjected to
how changelings are treated in this world now.
So they found out that imprisoning them, enslaving them
to do manual labor, even letting them go back home
to their families ended up being dangerous.
People tended to die, um, either
as they claimed the changelings went feral.
Um, they were just dangerous.
So the main character, the male main character,
made his fortune.
So he's got incentive here by figuring out
that if you could turn these changeling women into pleasure
slaves, they became a lot more docile.
You could, they were less dangerous ,
but they were still seen as subhuman, non-human animalistic.
So you get this sort of bit of backstory
as the queen changes.
And I am immediately, this is like chapter one, chapter two,
I'm like, this is so fucking unfair.
What the hell? And the trigger warnings
for this book are non-consent, dubious consent,
and then other like sexual kinky things.
The non-consent and the dubious consent
are very fucking real.
So she has the same, and,
and the way changelings are described
before the queen changes is that they
can't even think like humans,
they lose their sense of selves, blah, blah, blah.
We watch the Queen change and she's got all her faculties.
She's got extra ability. She doesn't how to control.
Um, apparently changeling women are sort
of much more sexual.
They, they respond to sexual stuff, uh, more strongly.
But her thoughts are still her own,
her personality is essentially still the same.
She is captured
and goes off to trained to be a pleasure slave.
Now, plot twist that you find out very
early, it's not a spoiler.
The guy who trains pleasure slaves
and figured out this method for making them more docile,
when she found out what he did to make his money,
'cause she was supposed to marry him,
she broke off the engagement
and went, oh fuck no, I, I'm not okay with this.
Hmm. Now we never get a sense of she's not okay with it
because it's completely non-consensual or if it's
'cause it's like all sex was like too much for her.
I never, never did figure that out. Okay.
So that's, that's all the backstory.
That's like, that's the setup
for why this very well-written,
well-crafted book has given me some thoughts and feelings.
The system they live in is built on
prejudice and oppression.
Right? Which gee have, where have we heard of that before?
So it's a romance and it's considered a dark romance.
And the two main characters,
they f they do find their version of a happily ever after.
But because there was no consent up
until a certain point, I couldn't even enjoy these fairly
well written kink scenes.
Like, I was like, oh, look, I don't see,
you seen some paddles and some canes
and some crops and oh, okay.
And oh, collars
and the sort of inspired by gorian slave positions
and using one's body.
I'm like, this, this should be so sexy to me.
But all I could think was, this is so unfair.
You've got the, the monarch of your fucking country
that they then, the way their, their system is,
they basically treat them like they're dead
because they're no longer human.
Mm-Hmm. . So they even have a,
like a fake funeral for people who change
because their spirit has died.
And yet we're in the queen's head.
And I'm like, no, the fuck it hasn't.
She just has abilities that she doesn't know how to control.
And she's kind of pissed because she's in prison
and being made to do things she doesn't want to do.
Guess what? Uh, I, I probably lash out too
and probably seem to go a little feral too, right?
. So this whole time I'm thinking, okay,
we're getting through and yeah,
we're going through the non-consent.
And that's, that's, you get
to have your feelings about that, right?
Whether in fantasy or not. Mm-Hmm.
dubious consent. Okay?
But I keep waiting for the, but this is unfair
because at no point in the story do we get proof in the real
time of the story that, oh,
look at this feral changeling who's no longer human.
We're told about it.
But since we're never given context about, well,
what was this person's circumstances, right?
Did they go feral because they never had an outlet
for dealing with oppression and their anger and whatever?
Or were they mistreated?
Because one, you're trained to be a pleasure slave.
And then the thing that's supposed to be the guiding light
and that makes it all better,
is this guy who's developed this system, he handpicks
who these pleasure slaves are sold off to.
And if they are mistreated
and he finds out about it, he takes 'em back.
Right? And he doesn't let you keep them.
And he's blacklisted folks from being able
to own one of his pleasure slaves.
But as with all systems,
people found a workaround in very illegal, inhumane,
awful, awful ways.
And he was so like, oblivious to it.
It wasn't until the queen who's now
this pleasure slave is entrapped in, in that, that he goes,
oh, I should have known, but I didn't.
And I'm like, right, .
And so then at the end, I won't, I don't wanna split.
'cause if you, if this intrigues you, feel free to read it.
If, if you're like, okay, okay, I'm not doing non-consent,
I totally understand that.
But I, I need other people to read this.
'cause I need to know if I'm completely seeing this wrong.
No. Are we on audio?
I'm gonna keep going 'cause podcast listeners.
But for a, uh, for video folks, um, if you,
hopefully you can still hear my voice
so you can keep talking.
Sorry for the interruption. So I kind of need somebody
to read this book with me to see if this is, if like,
if I'm just misreading it.
Because by the end, this one guy who controls this
one, um, part of this pleasure slave
is decided he will make changes from what he can control.
Um, but it doesn't, it doesn't change the system.
It doesn't change what the monarchy does.
It doesn't change the government.
It doesn't change how everybody's treated.
It's just the few people he can control how they're treated.
Um, and I just like
what I wanted, I wanted them to have their happy ending,
even though I could certainly make the argument of it.
Because what happens is
because she's still a pleasure slave.
They, the collars help. We'll, back, by the way.
Yeah, I see that the collars help minimize their power.
So they can't be lashing out everywhere.
And I actually don't un blame that part at all,
because there was nobody there to teach them
what the fuck to do with their powers.
And they in high emotion, um, when they're scared,
when they're angry, they could hurt people
because they had these powers they didn't understand.
Mm-Hmm. . So like the
collar part didn't even bother me.
That was fine. I could like, I could see an argument for
that at least at the beginning stages of all this.
But the queen never had to be a queen again,
, she air quote, chose her partner.
But did she,
because she never got
to fully decide her own life in full agency ever again.
Um, there was never any point
where you could see if there was a societal change,
the things she was allowed to do, no spoilers at the end
because she's having her happy ever after.
We're still couldn't be known by everybody.
And so I'm like, like, am I just too idealistic to think
that the happy ending shouldn't just be for the character.
It should be that, hey, maybe we can find a way
to undo this system of oppression and change it.
And you know, maybe it was the author meant to imply that
by saying, this one person will make a change.
And so that's how change is made slowly.
I could even see how the way it ends
and who the new monarch becomes, like,
maybe, but there's nothing.
Maybe I need it more spelled out for me.
It was too open-ended
and there was nothing that gave a clear direction
that this system will not always be here.
It will change. You're not getting to see it in this book,
but it, the possibility is there.
And I'm like, I, this is such a well written book.
The kink was fairly well written.
I got into the kink once she was
more enthusiastically involved in what was happening.
And it wasn't happening to her.
Like, I can suspend disbelief
and kind of like in my dark fantasy kind of thing, go along
with stuff that I would never be okay
with in real life if it makes sense.
But there were all these suppositions about
who changelings were
that we never actually saw in the text for real.
So that told me that they were just using their hatred of
what had happened to their ancestors few hundred years
before as the basis for their hate.
And it wasn't based in reality.
Like if the story had been, oh no,
they really do go fucking feral.
Let me show you how this works
and this is the best way to keep everybody safe.
Then I could've gone, okay, okay,
this I'll suspend disbelieve this kind of makes sense.
But it was not like that.
The, the prejudice
and the bigotry was like just right there in your face.
And it, it like never really got addressed.
Like, I dunno, it made what was
otherwise a really good book.
So fucking disappointing to me.
I just
and I knew, I I came across the book, um,
in sponsored posts on Instagram.
I read a sample of it to see, that's my new trick
for making sure I don't DNF do not
finish all kinds of books.
. I read a sample if it's available,
if the sample pulls me in, I'll read the book.
Even if it's not what I would normally read.
Sample pulled me in.
But the sample shows you shows the Queen changing.
And me realizing within like two, three chapters
how unfair what's about to happen to her is like,
it was unfair anyway,
but getting to see it through her eyes.
It just, for a reader, it made it that much more real
because you were going, like,
before you were being told this is what they're like
and you're like, are they?
And then you're learning in real time with the character
that this is, this is awful.
And so I was actually dreading reading the book
'cause I was thinking it,
is it gonna be unfair the whole fucking way through?
Now look, I know life is unfair. I get that.
But come on, it's fantasy and romance.
I, I, yes, things can be unfair,
but give me, give me the unrealistic
, uh, ability to go, oh,
how life really can be
fixed if people will just work together.
Which we all know is true, but we
all know people don't always work together.
Like, you know what I mean? Right.
And I dreaded reading it
'cause I was very worried it was gonna be
unfair the whole way through.
And I am so sorry to my logical thinking analytical brain.
It was unfair the whole way through.
Even with her finding her happy ending
because the way life is structured,
what if she changed her mind tomorrow?
It was no longer happy. Sucks to suck. I guess.
Like I just, And I
kind of wish I had read the, the Gore books
because there was kind of this whole, oh, these women have
to be enslaved
for their own good and they're pleasure slaves.
And there's like all that like, it, it made me think of
what I think the Gore books are probably kind of like,
but since I didn't read them, what I don't know is,
does the gorian world, even by suspending disbelief,
y'all make sense, right?
Like this, in this world that's been crafted,
it air quote has to be this way because of the system
and the world and
what in the world air quote actually happens.
Mm-Hmm . And, and I don't know
'cause I've never read those books, so I can't answer that.
But if that's the case, then that to me is
where this book falls down
because we are seeing all the evidence of
where it doesn't have to be this way.
Mm-Hmm. , they are
choosing for it to be this way.
And it is actively harming people because of that.
Like, the whole third act conflict was
because the system, even while trying to be fair
and kind to these women still created space
for people to abuse it.
And for people to you, I just, oh,
- I don't know.
- Ophelia said maybe she'll write a second book.
And this is a prequel. I went to look at her, uh,
author website and there's no indication
that doesn't mean something won't change.
Mm-Hmm. , this is considered a
standalone as far as I could tell.
It didn't look like there were any other books
even of that universe.
And I could not see if there was any plan for there
to be more.
If there are, if there if that happened,
I would read them just so I could kind
of get the satisfaction of going, okay, do we,
do we move this forward a little bit?
Do we actively change these things?
But it is, the way it was advertised
to me is yes, it's dark.
And yes, there's, you definitely read the trigger warnings.
Like, for real, for real. But like, it's, it's a fun,
you know, dark romance.
And I'm like, this is not fun, , I'm not having fun.
I'm ready to ride a dawn for these women.
This is some bullshit. Like,
and just as does happen in, in systemic crap,
there were people who did benefit.
One of the, the women that rose up to as much
of a leadership position
as a woman can attain in this system within the training,
the guys training place, she, um,
had been in an abusive marriage.
And when she got her powers, she went, oh shoot, fire
boo burned his ass.
And I went, good for you sister. Good for you.
And then her skills were fully utilized in this space,
um, as a trainer.
Like he, he made her kind of in charge of stuff.
He was not, he was one of those people
that he was not genuinely a bad human being,
but he benefited from the system,
which I know I see the symbolism there, I get it.
But to me, if that's the point is to, to, to call this out,
but we're talking about romance and happy endings
and fantasy, then there should be room to show, Hey,
we can move away from this.
And I just didn't, I didn't get that.
I didn't get that sense at all. .
And maybe, maybe I'm not meant to, maybe I'm meant
to be pissed off about it.
I'm sure shit I've spent
how long talking about this fucking book.
I've been thinking about it nonstop since I,
since I finished it.
Uhhuh . And maybe that's the point.
And I admire that if that's the point.
Like I, but fuck it sold.
I don't, and I dunno, maybe, maybe, maybe that's the point.
And I would like to believe that that's the point
because I am so pissed off ,
but I couldn't, like, I, in, in fantasy when I'm reading,
I can kind of get off on some, you know, non-consent,
even dubious consent.
Like, but this time I was so in it with that the, the queen.
I was like, this is, this is so wrong.
They even say there's even a whole part of the, part of the,
the explanation of this world, these pleasure slaves
that women who change and they were servants
or they were poor.
Um, they adjust better
because under his system, their lives air quote, this,
this is from them improved.
And the high born women and the nobility struggled the most
because they had all
of the limited freedom they would've had anyway
as women in this patriarchal society
actually was a matriarchal society.
That's another part that kind of pissed me off.
Where were the women standing up for other women?
Like, what the fuck? Anyway, like they,
that was a whole point they made of, oh,
they always suffer the most because they had the most pride
and it had to be crushed out of them.
And if the premise was true that they turned feral
and they will hurt people even that they love.
And they, that was shown I'd have gone, okay,
this world, this is how this world works.
This was an imperfect fix,
but it's the best one they've come up with so far.
Blah, blah, blah. No,
- No.
- So, yeah. Hmm. I did not go looking deep enough into
the author's background
or what the author has said about the book.
Um, so I don't know if I'm definitely getting the fucking
point what the author was trying to convey.
- , - I I part of me kind of hopes.
So, because what I don't want is for it to be
so well written and the author
to be oblivious to what they've done.
Mm. That would bother me. Mm-Hmm. .
Mm-Hmm . That really would bother me.
If there's a purpose for this, for the reader, then
I definitely respect that.
Um, but if there was no thought put into that mm-Hmm,
and that was accidental
or the, the author didn't see what they were doing
then I'm actually more pissed off .
- Ah. - So
anyway, it was very well written and well crafted though.
And if you are okay with non-consent
and that kind of thing, I, I would recommend it mostly.
'cause I need to know if anybody else
has a similar reaction.
I don't, I don't, I can admit I could be overreacting.
I don't think I am. I just,
I feel like I could have written, uh, a college
lit essay on this fucking shit .
And now I kind of wish I like, I wish I did that because I,
- I have so many fucking thoughts,
- You know, listening to you here, I'm, you need
to start a a, a book review tube.
- Here's the thing. I tried this when I was writing book
reviews and just trying to do it on Instagram.
The moment it becomes an obligation,
don't wanna do it. Don't wanna do
- It. Mm-Hmm.
- Okay. To the point that I like freeze up
and can't, like, I'll just like whatever my brand
of divergence neurodivergency is, it just
stops in its tracks.
Like, nope. I think it's
because my perfectionism, even though I am working
to overcome that kicks in and I'm like, am I doing it right?
Am I doing it well? Mm.
What if I'm not, oh, let's go be
bad about bad at something else in front of other people.
Look, I have gotten used to since 20 fucking 15
not being very good at this in front of y'all.
'cause I got all these years of experience,
but that doesn't make it easy
to just do it again with something else.
. Yeah.
So there you go. That's the rant. That's been,
- That's been, yeah.
Building. Yeah. Yeah.
- I I I also think I would've felt better about the book
if the point is to be mad.
Because if somebody else in the universe
was mad about it, by the end,
the queen is happy with her life.
And there, I don't recall reading any internal monologue
or whatever internal thoughts of, yeah,
maybe we should fix this.
Like maybe, I think there was a little bit,
but not in the like, this is wrong and we need to fix this.
Like, there was, I can understand if the book didn't end on
it being fixed because that's not how systems work.
I understand that. But like there was no call like,
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
- .
- Anyway, this, this one will is I, this rant is not done.
Gotten it outta my system. I will not keep ranting.
Don't worry . Um,
but for anybody who's interested, it's called
to call a queen.
- It - Yeah. It's, anyway,
- Anyway.
Who
- All the thoughts and feels y'all all
- The thoughts and feels?
- Um, I have not read a lot of kink stuff lately.
Like I've read a lot of faded mates stuff.
I've read a lot of shifter stuff.
Um, I keep accidentally slipping into the Omega verse world
and it's okay, but it doesn't draw me in.
Like, if you love it, I'm happy for you.
But it's, and I don't know if it's
that I just haven't read enough.
Well-written stuff like, I don't know.
I, But not a lot of like
genuinely kink stuff.
I have Absolutely.
I think I'm about to read something kinky
because Katie Roberts just released a book,
I think it's the Succubus something Dream something from a
series that she had started years ago.
Um, and it's the only series that I know of by Katie.
Robert that's on, um, Kindle Unlimited.
And that book just came out in her books.
Even when they're not trying to
be kinky, there's a kink element.
Like there's just something,
something's a little kinky there.
And she writes kink very fucking well.
Um, and so I'm,
that's the next one I'm definitely gonna read.
But everything else is like, it hasn't really been,
and it's not, I don't know.
I get, I think it's a little bit like this book.
I don't want something about it to disappoint me.
And so, but
- Yeah.
- Deep breath. Mm-Hmm. .
Mm-Hmm. .
- I, I think I've run outta steam, but,
and I know we should probably let these lovely people go on
about their day, but like, I also like being here. I know
- It's one 30.
- I know also the 14-year-old is probably like,
are my parental figures around, right?
I I I could use some, I don't know.
- Yeah. Uh,
- He, he's not hungry enough.
'cause I haven't heard him in the kitchen also,
but I've been ranting so I
would've missed all kinds of things. I,
- I haven't heard - Any.
Okay, good. Good to know. Good to know.
- Yeah. It's right behind me, but
- I'm not as hot as I was.
My toes are actually chilly. You're welcome.
My face is hot, but I've been ranting Welcome.
Did you bump the air again for me? Yes. Wow.
You let it be at what most, most people would consider a a,
a temp moderate climate in their house.
We keep it warm. 'cause we do are not paying a three, four,
$500 electric bill.
Y'all, we are just not just keep taking clothes off until
you to the point
where other people are not uncomfortable with looking at you.
But no. So I understand why we keep it warmer than
the average household.
Man, it sucks when your internal combustion
engine is overheating,
- - And there's
kids in, there's a kid in this house.
I can't walk around naked. You know, if we get get
to a point in life when there's
no children in this house, I,
- That's a whole different story. Best believe
- I'll walk around naked when I'm hot, but
- No.
Okay.
- Okay. I guess we should go.
We didn't eat lunch and I am hungry. Same.
I'm not, I'm not gonna do any meaningful work after
- This. Me
- Either.
I have to prep some orders that are going
out tomorrow. Yeah. I've
- Got one more left that I have Yeah.
To touch. But yeah,
I'll take care of that. But yeah, other than
- That, I'm gonna take advantage of the fact
that when you're self-employed, as long
as there's no deadlines looming.
- Right. You just - Sit down sometimes.
Yeah. We don't do that very often.
- It doesn't happen very often. No, it does not. Fuck yeah.
Today it is, today is that day,
- So yeah.
- Yep. - If you do read to call her a queen, first of all,
if you are part of our Patreon
and have access to the Discord server,
please go and talk to me.
There. We have a whole thread on Kinky Books
and if you are not part of that and read it
and want to like email
or whatever, whatever, like contact in whatever way.
Uh, I just, I'm not thinking that necessarily
that other people's opinions will
necessarily change my mind.
Mm-Hmm. . But like, maybe there's a perspective
I'm not getting and I've missed
and God, god knows that's not impossible.
Right. But I just, anyway. Okay. .
- So yeah. My, my my, what I told Kayla this morning was
that, um, you know, when these,
when these concerts start back up again
next going into fall. Fall,
- Yeah.
- Um, you know, we need to put into work
to take the next day off.
- Yeah. We, we need to talk
to HR about using our PTO .
It's not PTO and you work for yourself.
If you don't work, you don't get paid,
but whatever, whatever.
And you know what, normally the concerts are on Thursdays.
Yeah. And that would've been way easy.
We're just taking Friday off. Mm-Hmm. .
Um, but yeah, we'll
- See.
- we'll see. Anyway. Yeah. We should go. Mm-Hmm.
, thanks for being
- Here.
Thanks for hanging with us to the bitter,
- Bitter fucking end.
Yeah. Thanks for, um, going along on
that rant journey with me.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Um, yeah.
Hopeful. We'll see Friday
if I'm still wearing the finger condom. Yeah.
- Right. Or - A version of the finger condom. Mm-Hmm,
- .
- Okay. I guess we should go. Okay. Bye.
- Bye.