1 00:00:10,985 --> 00:00:12,565 - You are listening to the Loving PDSM podcast, 2 00:00:12,715 --> 00:00:14,045 episode 3 89. 3 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:18,565 Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the guy who like me 4 00:00:19,385 --> 00:00:21,405 is doing this in pajama pants. 5 00:00:21,405 --> 00:00:23,205 Mm-Hmm. because we're back from break, 6 00:00:23,425 --> 00:00:25,805 but we also didn't wanna have to wear real pants. 7 00:00:25,855 --> 00:00:27,805 Right? We are wearing real shirts, 8 00:00:28,345 --> 00:00:30,045 but we are not wearing real pants. 9 00:00:30,485 --> 00:00:33,965 comfort is key this time. Exactly. Yeah. 10 00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:35,645 Uh, will that be seen 11 00:00:35,705 --> 00:00:38,285 and visible on the live stream slash video? 12 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:42,925 I dunno. . But if it's not, you know, Right? 13 00:00:44,825 --> 00:00:46,885 You might not know what's in our pants, 14 00:00:47,025 --> 00:00:48,565 but you know what our pants are. 15 00:00:48,865 --> 00:00:52,325 Yes. So it's almost sexy. I don't know. I don't know. 16 00:00:52,325 --> 00:00:53,365 I guess that depends on your perspective. 17 00:00:53,605 --> 00:00:54,845 I, that's all we're here for. 18 00:00:54,945 --> 00:00:56,205 That's not at all what we're here for. 19 00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:58,205 Are we here to get weird and awkward 20 00:00:58,265 --> 00:01:00,245 and overly intimate and vulnerable? 21 00:01:00,545 --> 00:01:01,885 Yes. . 22 00:01:01,885 --> 00:01:04,445 Are we here to talk about pajama pants and what may 23 00:01:04,445 --> 00:01:05,805 or may not be in or on them? 24 00:01:06,345 --> 00:01:09,925 No. Uh, this week, uh, back from break and chaotic as ever. 25 00:01:10,225 --> 00:01:15,085 Uh, and we're answering random relationship air quote, 26 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:18,725 deep relationship questions that I came across online 27 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,965 that aren't from a relationship expert. 28 00:01:21,105 --> 00:01:23,765 But I looked at him and went, yeah, I'd answer these. 29 00:01:24,305 --> 00:01:26,885 And Jamie went, yeah, I'd answer these . 30 00:01:26,885 --> 00:01:28,285 And so I went, guess what we're doing? 31 00:01:28,575 --> 00:01:30,525 We're answering these questions. Okay. 32 00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:32,805 Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. 33 00:01:33,035 --> 00:01:34,885 This is your first time listening. Glad to have you. 34 00:01:34,885 --> 00:01:36,405 If you're back for another week, welcome back. 35 00:01:36,585 --> 00:01:38,405 Loving BDSM is produced every Monday 36 00:01:38,405 --> 00:01:40,285 and Friday for your kinky pleasure in education. 37 00:01:40,465 --> 00:01:43,005 And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net. 38 00:01:43,315 --> 00:01:45,045 Come back often and feel free to add the podcast 39 00:01:45,225 --> 00:01:46,525 to your favorite podcast app. 40 00:01:46,745 --> 00:01:50,285 You can also follow the show on FetLife at Loving BDSM pc. 41 00:01:50,305 --> 00:01:53,045 The PC stands for podcast on Instagram 42 00:01:53,185 --> 00:01:54,405 and threads at that handle. 43 00:01:54,605 --> 00:01:59,525 I will forever fucking hate, hate with a bash 44 00:01:59,585 --> 00:02:02,205 of thousand fiery Sons. 45 00:02:02,435 --> 00:02:05,685 Hate it. Uh, loving Ds and the number one. 46 00:02:05,685 --> 00:02:08,925 So that's at loving DS one. I have strong feelings about it. 47 00:02:09,035 --> 00:02:10,805 Okay, I see that. I see that . 48 00:02:10,865 --> 00:02:15,085 Or you can follow us on YouTube at youtube.com/loving 49 00:02:15,475 --> 00:02:16,605 bdsm, where you can watch us live. 50 00:02:16,605 --> 00:02:18,165 Stream the podcast every Wednesday. 51 00:02:18,585 --> 00:02:21,125 All links are in the show notes. You it. Mm. 52 00:02:21,845 --> 00:02:24,765 Hit my button. Daddy . 53 00:02:25,195 --> 00:02:27,245 That did not come out sexy like I hoped it would. 54 00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,445 came out weird and awkward. So completely on brand. 55 00:02:31,905 --> 00:02:36,405 Uh, before we get into these relationship questions, um, 56 00:02:37,195 --> 00:02:38,885 have, we gotta have a commercial break 57 00:02:38,945 --> 00:02:40,245 and it's a big commercial break 58 00:02:40,265 --> 00:02:41,565 and it's gonna take a hot minute. 59 00:02:41,585 --> 00:02:43,005 Mm-Hmm. , because this is a thing 60 00:02:43,005 --> 00:02:44,845 that's only gonna be around for a short amount of time, 61 00:02:44,905 --> 00:02:48,365 so I gotta get in the details while it can. Okay. 62 00:02:48,505 --> 00:02:50,005 - I'm gonna sit back and take a nap then. 63 00:02:50,425 --> 00:02:53,445 - I'm not gonna take that long. If you interrupt me, I will. 64 00:02:53,885 --> 00:02:55,125 'cause I'm gonna talk to you if you interrupt me. 65 00:02:55,145 --> 00:02:57,445 And then we're not on track. Somebody has already noted 66 00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:58,845 outta this, they're like, oh, this, this is too much. 67 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,485 This is too much for me. It's fine. 68 00:03:00,985 --> 00:03:04,245 Um, the DOM sub Dynamics Virtual Summit 69 00:03:04,305 --> 00:03:05,485 is back for a second year. 70 00:03:05,505 --> 00:03:07,045 We participated in it last year. 71 00:03:07,155 --> 00:03:08,965 It's the first year it ever existed. 72 00:03:09,435 --> 00:03:12,165 It's back for a second year. We are part of it. 73 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,125 It is an online, hence the virtual 74 00:03:14,665 --> 00:03:18,885 online BDSM education opportunity April 8th through 11th 75 00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:21,925 that you can attend for free . 76 00:03:22,345 --> 00:03:24,045 You can register and attend 77 00:03:24,225 --> 00:03:25,365 and watch all these sessions 78 00:03:25,425 --> 00:03:29,245 by 2020 kink educators, including us. 79 00:03:29,705 --> 00:03:33,645 Um, no cost to you other than the time, of course, . 80 00:03:33,665 --> 00:03:35,205 Um, the link is in the places. 81 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,565 Uh, if this is the first time you're hearing about it, 82 00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:39,005 let me go over it a little bit with you. 83 00:03:39,065 --> 00:03:42,525 The whole point is to help people who yes, are kinky, 84 00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:45,365 but want to be in a power exchange 85 00:03:45,385 --> 00:03:46,845 or are in a power exchange. 86 00:03:46,865 --> 00:03:49,285 And basically from our perspective, have a happy, 87 00:03:49,285 --> 00:03:50,925 healthy power exchange relationship, whatever 88 00:03:50,925 --> 00:03:51,965 that means to you. 89 00:03:52,255 --> 00:03:55,325 There are a ton of sessions on all kinds of topics. 90 00:03:55,585 --> 00:03:57,685 Our good friend who is definitely in the live chat, 91 00:03:57,925 --> 00:03:59,445 rah rah is one of the presenters. 92 00:03:59,445 --> 00:04:00,485 Mm-Hmm. as well. Mm-Hmm. . 93 00:04:00,785 --> 00:04:04,805 Um, we are doing a session on punishments and rewards. 94 00:04:05,585 --> 00:04:08,605 Um, that, um, is the whole thing. 95 00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:10,805 Every session is supposed to be practical information 96 00:04:10,805 --> 00:04:12,525 that you can walk away and do something with. 97 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,965 That's what ours is on. 98 00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,765 Um, there is a session on, 99 00:04:18,305 --> 00:04:19,565 um, contracts. 100 00:04:19,565 --> 00:04:22,885 There's a session on hard limits. Rah rah. In the live chat. 101 00:04:23,425 --> 00:04:25,925 Uh, feel free to shout out your session 102 00:04:26,325 --> 00:04:28,245 'cause my brain just blanked out on 103 00:04:28,245 --> 00:04:29,325 all the different sessions. 104 00:04:29,945 --> 00:04:33,125 Uh, rah rah is presenting, uh, Evie Lupine, uh, 105 00:04:33,125 --> 00:04:35,485 Sonny Megatron, Luna MDOs, Justin Cross, 106 00:04:35,595 --> 00:04:37,325 like all kinds of people. 107 00:04:37,905 --> 00:04:40,885 Um, it's an incredible opportunity 108 00:04:41,025 --> 00:04:43,085 to get some free education. 109 00:04:43,625 --> 00:04:47,325 The free ticket gets you 24 hours access during April eight 110 00:04:47,325 --> 00:04:48,845 through 11th to each session. 111 00:04:49,065 --> 00:04:51,605 So if you can't be there at the time the session is 112 00:04:51,605 --> 00:04:53,285 scheduled, you have 24 hours 113 00:04:53,345 --> 00:04:55,285 to watch the sessions you're interested in 114 00:04:56,035 --> 00:04:57,085 when you register. 115 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:59,365 'cause the only way to attend is to register. 116 00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,845 You're given the opportunity to purchase something 117 00:05:01,845 --> 00:05:03,805 that is sometimes called the VIP Pass, 118 00:05:03,805 --> 00:05:05,085 sometimes called the All Access Pass. 119 00:05:05,195 --> 00:05:07,365 Basically, it gives you extra stuff. 120 00:05:07,505 --> 00:05:09,565 It gives you lifetime access to the session. 121 00:05:09,665 --> 00:05:11,485 So you can go back and re-watch as much as you want. 122 00:05:11,785 --> 00:05:14,245 It also gives you access to extra educational 123 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:18,405 and kink opportunities that are provided by the speakers. 124 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:22,965 Our educational opportunity is a brand new workbook 125 00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:24,205 that we created just 126 00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:25,885 for the punishment and rewards sessions. 127 00:05:26,115 --> 00:05:29,005 It's worksheets that take all the things we tell you in 128 00:05:29,005 --> 00:05:32,165 that session and then give you an organized place 129 00:05:32,185 --> 00:05:34,445 to write it all down and figure yourself out. 130 00:05:34,705 --> 00:05:37,605 Uh, in this , we recorded our session 131 00:05:37,745 --> 00:05:39,205 before I finished the workbook, 132 00:05:39,205 --> 00:05:40,685 and I went, it's a mini workbook. 133 00:05:40,755 --> 00:05:43,765 It's a couple of worksheets. It's 11 worksheets, y'all. 134 00:05:44,265 --> 00:05:46,485 And a page of resources from content 135 00:05:46,575 --> 00:05:49,125 where we've talked about punishment and rewards in the past. 136 00:05:49,585 --> 00:05:51,165 Um, so it's not really a mini workbook. 137 00:05:51,305 --> 00:05:55,125 Um, but you only get that if you do the VIP pass thing. 138 00:05:55,215 --> 00:05:57,405 Thing is, is if you don't have, have the budget 139 00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,485 for that, that is okay. 140 00:05:58,485 --> 00:06:01,245 You're not gonna miss out with just the free ticket. 141 00:06:01,305 --> 00:06:04,285 The free ticket is gonna get you a ton of good information. 142 00:06:04,905 --> 00:06:06,285 So if you have not already, 143 00:06:07,655 --> 00:06:10,195 and you would like to, the link to register for 144 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:11,755 that free ticket is in the places. 145 00:06:12,095 --> 00:06:14,035 Uh, podcast listeners, that's the show notes. 146 00:06:14,265 --> 00:06:16,235 YouTube folk that's down below. 147 00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:18,955 If you are on our email list, you have been 148 00:06:18,975 --> 00:06:20,835 and will continue to get emails about it. 149 00:06:20,855 --> 00:06:23,515 If you follow us on social, mostly Instagram 150 00:06:23,575 --> 00:06:25,715 and FetLife, we are posting there 151 00:06:25,855 --> 00:06:27,755 so you can get access to it. 152 00:06:28,335 --> 00:06:30,275 Uh, sign up. I think it's worth it. 153 00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:32,555 I mean, I like to think that 'cause we're part of it, 154 00:06:32,555 --> 00:06:35,275 it's worth it, but it's not really just for that. 155 00:06:35,505 --> 00:06:38,595 It's worth for all all the things, all the people 156 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:41,875 who are there, all the, the classes and presentations. 157 00:06:43,095 --> 00:06:47,515 So, so that is the commercial break. 158 00:06:48,015 --> 00:06:51,355 Dom, sub Dynamics virtual summit, April 8th through 11th. 159 00:06:51,705 --> 00:06:55,595 Free to attend Free, free, free, free, free. Go. 160 00:06:55,595 --> 00:07:00,355 Get your kink education on for free and online. 161 00:07:00,355 --> 00:07:02,875 You don't even have to wear pants. And as somebody 162 00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:05,915 who is not wearing official pants today, I'm here for that. 163 00:07:06,105 --> 00:07:07,915 - Same fucking here for - That. Okay. 164 00:07:08,305 --> 00:07:12,515 That is all I'm gonna say on the commercial side. Okay. 165 00:07:12,715 --> 00:07:13,955 I don't know how long that was, but, 166 00:07:13,955 --> 00:07:15,155 you know, it was what it was. 167 00:07:15,715 --> 00:07:20,515 . Um, do, do, do. Let's see. 168 00:07:22,335 --> 00:07:23,645 There. I was like, what am I 169 00:07:23,765 --> 00:07:24,845 clicking to get to the questions? 170 00:07:25,205 --> 00:07:28,725 Hmm. So these questions came from what I'm considering, 171 00:07:28,845 --> 00:07:30,845 a very random post on Instagram. 172 00:07:31,025 --> 00:07:33,005 It was not from a relationship coach 173 00:07:33,025 --> 00:07:34,885 or expert, it was not from a therapist. 174 00:07:35,465 --> 00:07:38,005 It was from an account that just, 175 00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:40,085 I can't figure out what their deal is. 176 00:07:40,105 --> 00:07:43,165 But it's all kinds of random life stuff. 177 00:07:43,435 --> 00:07:46,725 They don't actually focus on relationships. 178 00:07:47,195 --> 00:07:49,725 They do not purport to be experts on anything. 179 00:07:50,245 --> 00:07:51,485 I was like, okay, you're random. 180 00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,605 You're to, I don't know if you're even credible, 181 00:07:53,745 --> 00:07:55,365 but the questions are interesting. 182 00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:57,765 So , that's what we're doing. 183 00:07:59,105 --> 00:08:01,045 And we will each answer these questions 184 00:08:01,305 --> 00:08:02,845 to the best of our ability, ability. 185 00:08:03,225 --> 00:08:06,205 And if you are intrigued by these questions, feel free 186 00:08:06,265 --> 00:08:08,565 to use 'em as conversation starters in your 187 00:08:08,585 --> 00:08:10,525 own kink relationships. 188 00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:15,285 Okay. First one, jb, what's your favorite 189 00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,525 weird habit of mine? 190 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:21,765 I use so many. I dunno if choose, 191 00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:23,285 I dunno if you like any of them. 192 00:08:23,595 --> 00:08:25,325 - Pick one that I like outta 193 00:08:26,665 --> 00:08:28,285 - Decide if you actually like them. 194 00:08:28,805 --> 00:08:29,805 . 195 00:08:33,545 --> 00:08:38,325 - Um, okay, I'm gonna go, 196 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,445 I'm, I'm, I'm gonna actually touch on two. 197 00:08:40,995 --> 00:08:43,565 Okay. Okay. Um, 198 00:08:45,145 --> 00:08:49,085 the one which I find to be just absolutely adorable. 199 00:08:49,665 --> 00:08:51,125 - I'm terrified. Okay. . 200 00:08:56,065 --> 00:08:59,045 Am I about to have all my weirdness, more 201 00:08:59,045 --> 00:09:01,125 of my weirdness put on display on the internet. 202 00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:02,525 . Okay, go ahead. 203 00:09:03,105 --> 00:09:06,405 - Um, when you're sitting reading and you take your shirt 204 00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:10,805 and pull it up over, over your nose and you just kind, 205 00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:14,805 - I think it's a, it's a stimulation thing, 206 00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,565 but I don't know what I just, so I 207 00:09:16,565 --> 00:09:17,565 - Do it . 208 00:09:17,565 --> 00:09:17,925 It's like, it's like you're burrowing 209 00:09:18,565 --> 00:09:19,565 - . 210 00:09:19,755 --> 00:09:21,805 Okay. Yes, I do that. Yes, I do that. 211 00:09:21,945 --> 00:09:23,285 Uh, YouTube folks get an, 212 00:09:23,285 --> 00:09:24,805 an actual example of what that looks like. 213 00:09:24,805 --> 00:09:26,005 Right? See? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, go 214 00:09:26,005 --> 00:09:27,005 - Ahead. 215 00:09:27,005 --> 00:09:27,325 You said there were two and there 216 00:09:27,325 --> 00:09:28,525 there's, yes, there's another one. 217 00:09:28,555 --> 00:09:33,205 This one I have, um, little bit mixed emotions about. Oh 218 00:09:33,225 --> 00:09:34,225 - God. 219 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:34,515 Okay. 220 00:09:34,905 --> 00:09:37,725 - And, um, , 221 00:09:41,315 --> 00:09:43,885 when I'm laying in bed at night and I'm reading my book 222 00:09:44,765 --> 00:09:49,605 - - And I'm, and I, I, I am done reading 223 00:09:49,705 --> 00:09:52,485 and I put my, my Kindle to the side. Oh God. 224 00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:53,525 - I think I knew where you're going. 225 00:09:54,345 --> 00:09:55,445 - And I slide down 226 00:09:55,665 --> 00:09:57,605 and I'm just ready to close my eyes, 227 00:09:57,875 --> 00:09:59,245 roll over and go to sleep. 228 00:09:59,545 --> 00:10:00,845 - But I get the nighttime zoomies. 229 00:10:00,985 --> 00:10:02,325 - You get the nighttime Zoomies 230 00:10:03,005 --> 00:10:04,005 - . 231 00:10:04,005 --> 00:10:05,565 That's it. . I thought, 232 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:09,125 I thought you were gonna point out the vocal stem 233 00:10:09,245 --> 00:10:12,085 that I've like somehow developed over the past few weeks. 234 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:13,765 Okay, good. No, no. Yes, I do get the 235 00:10:13,765 --> 00:10:15,045 nighttime zooming . 236 00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:18,805 I'm energized. I have my daddy's full fucking attention. 237 00:10:19,025 --> 00:10:21,565 - Oh my God. - I am here for it. My God. He can go nowhere. 238 00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:23,045 He's trapped, trapped. 239 00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:34,805 I got a wild animal. Not a limb off to get away. 240 00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:37,005 Hadn't happened yet. He still has both arms. 241 00:10:37,385 --> 00:10:41,765 So yeah, I get not, not all every 242 00:10:41,765 --> 00:10:42,765 - Time. 243 00:10:42,765 --> 00:10:44,165 No night. Not every night. Not every night. No. But there 244 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,165 - Are definitely nights. 245 00:10:45,165 --> 00:10:47,365 Like I just, I have thoughts like last night 246 00:10:47,425 --> 00:10:48,725 and I need to share them all 247 00:10:49,075 --> 00:10:50,075 - Like last - Night. 248 00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:52,005 And I wanna touch, and I wanna get your reaction 249 00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:53,125 and I'm probably gonna tickle you 250 00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:55,165 because sometimes you'll give me a reaction. 251 00:10:55,235 --> 00:10:57,965 Sometimes that reaction is to turn around and tickle me back 252 00:10:57,965 --> 00:10:58,965 and I fucking hate that shit. 253 00:10:59,405 --> 00:11:02,405 beside the point. Yeah. Yeah. The nighttime. 254 00:11:02,475 --> 00:11:03,645 Zoomies . 255 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,925 - Yep. - Okay. 256 00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:12,005 - Hey. - Okay. Okay. 257 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,725 - So your turn. Oh, boy. 258 00:11:14,025 --> 00:11:16,605 - So the habit is not technically weird. 259 00:11:16,965 --> 00:11:18,965 A lot of people do this. Okay. What is weird? 260 00:11:19,465 --> 00:11:21,045 And it's not a bad weird, 261 00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:25,045 but it's a thing that I who do not like to be perceived ever 262 00:11:25,795 --> 00:11:26,845 outside of the internet. 263 00:11:26,955 --> 00:11:31,605 Okay. Uh, just go, what in the hell you love music? 264 00:11:31,915 --> 00:11:33,925 Love music, love, love, love music. Yeah. 265 00:11:33,965 --> 00:11:37,125 I don't even want to know how much time Spotify says you 266 00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:39,205 spend listening annually. 267 00:11:39,435 --> 00:11:40,725 - It'd be frightening, right? 268 00:11:41,045 --> 00:11:44,245 - . Um, but what you do, 269 00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:49,445 and it is both fascinating and admirable. 270 00:11:49,785 --> 00:11:54,405 And what the fuck is people listen to music and sing. 271 00:11:54,475 --> 00:11:56,645 They absolutely do. Ev lots of people do that. 272 00:11:56,705 --> 00:11:59,725 That's not weird. JB wears noise, 273 00:11:59,775 --> 00:12:01,525 noise canceling earbuds. 274 00:12:01,525 --> 00:12:03,205 When he's listening to Spotify, he can hear 275 00:12:03,235 --> 00:12:04,965 nothing but the music. 276 00:12:05,035 --> 00:12:07,125 Yeah. He cannot even hear himself. 277 00:12:08,065 --> 00:12:11,885 And he will, if the album is good enough, give you a full 278 00:12:12,455 --> 00:12:14,125 blown concert. 279 00:12:15,315 --> 00:12:19,485 Like loud, like he's working in the shop outside, 280 00:12:19,585 --> 00:12:21,965 behind the house at the back of our property. 281 00:12:22,665 --> 00:12:26,325 And if I open the back door here in this room 282 00:12:26,335 --> 00:12:30,245 where we are recording, I can hear every note. 283 00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:34,405 And he hits the high ones , and he hits the low ones. 284 00:12:35,385 --> 00:12:37,405 And he does it with his whole ass chest. 285 00:12:37,555 --> 00:12:40,405 Like the neighbors can hear, he'll be in the garage. 286 00:12:40,705 --> 00:12:44,045 Garage is up. Okay. He's singing, he's doing, he is happy. 287 00:12:44,135 --> 00:12:47,405 Y'all. He is so happy. People are walking their dogs. 288 00:12:47,405 --> 00:12:52,125 People are bicycling past our house. It's, it's a concert. 289 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,885 now. He has a pretty decent voice, 290 00:12:55,105 --> 00:12:59,005 but everybody has a range they're supposed to stay in. 291 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:02,045 Jimmy does not worry about what range he should be in. 292 00:13:02,665 --> 00:13:05,165 The music takes him where the music takes him. 293 00:13:06,025 --> 00:13:07,405 And you know how in some songs, 294 00:13:07,515 --> 00:13:09,445 like there will be like beats and notes 295 00:13:09,465 --> 00:13:11,365 and parts that aren't actually singing 296 00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:12,725 or it's backup singers. 297 00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,725 It's not the main thing. He'll sing those parts too. 298 00:13:15,205 --> 00:13:18,445 loudly loud. 299 00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:21,565 And the first time, the first few times I realized he did 300 00:13:21,565 --> 00:13:24,845 this, I was, I was, when I say mortified, 301 00:13:24,985 --> 00:13:26,525 he did not do anything embarrassing. 302 00:13:26,525 --> 00:13:29,525 But because I struggle with, uh, oh, people know I exist. 303 00:13:29,675 --> 00:13:31,925 Like I was, oh my God, my face got hot. 304 00:13:31,965 --> 00:13:33,045 I was like, what the fuck is happening? 305 00:13:33,665 --> 00:13:35,125 I'm now much more used to it. 306 00:13:35,145 --> 00:13:36,845 And I just find it amusing as fuck. 307 00:13:37,005 --> 00:13:39,485 'cause I'm like this, this man does not care. 308 00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:42,045 Now I'm gonna out you on a thing that is not weird either. 309 00:13:42,195 --> 00:13:44,445 Lots of people who have the opportunity to do it, 310 00:13:44,905 --> 00:13:48,405 but he, it ties into this J's out there working. 311 00:13:48,505 --> 00:13:50,845 We got a wooded area. It's, we got a privacy fence. 312 00:13:50,865 --> 00:13:52,685 If he's gotta go, he's not coming into the house. 313 00:13:52,835 --> 00:13:55,445 He's going behind the shed. . Okay. 314 00:13:55,515 --> 00:13:57,885 That, that doesn't, dude, I grew up in the woods. 315 00:13:57,885 --> 00:13:59,525 People pee outside all the time. I don't care about that. 316 00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:04,005 Will he keep singing his song while he's peeing? 317 00:14:04,985 --> 00:14:09,725 Yes. Yes. He'll, not all the time, but enough of the time. 318 00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:15,845 . And it is delightful and also hilarious. 319 00:14:15,865 --> 00:14:17,485 - She, uh, she, she had a good laugh 320 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,765 the other night, night before last. 321 00:14:21,525 --> 00:14:24,165 I, um, decided it was going to be a night 322 00:14:24,165 --> 00:14:27,965 of sitting on the sofa and spinning up some vinyl. 323 00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:33,885 And I do not have speakers on my stereo headphones. 324 00:14:34,785 --> 00:14:38,405 And you know, the youngest is is in 325 00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:41,365 I his bedroom. 326 00:14:41,705 --> 00:14:43,685 Mm-Hmm. door open. 327 00:14:43,685 --> 00:14:48,485 You're sitting next to me on the sofa. Lola's in between us. 328 00:14:48,585 --> 00:14:50,325 And I'm, you know, 329 00:14:51,465 --> 00:14:55,765 and, um, I was actually playing a game while listening, 330 00:14:56,465 --> 00:14:59,165 but, you know, the music and, 331 00:14:59,225 --> 00:15:02,005 and I wasn't gonna break out singing, but I'm sitting there 332 00:15:02,385 --> 00:15:04,485 and I'm mouthing , the words 333 00:15:04,725 --> 00:15:05,725 - . 334 00:15:05,725 --> 00:15:06,205 So he's mouthing the words, which 335 00:15:06,295 --> 00:15:07,605 again, I am used to getting a concert. 336 00:15:07,885 --> 00:15:10,325 I was sort of grateful that it was not like a full blown 337 00:15:10,325 --> 00:15:13,525 concert in, in the living room while I was trying to read. 338 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,365 But if he had sung it would've been fine. 339 00:15:15,905 --> 00:15:18,085 All I hear is spitty noises though, . 340 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:19,285 And I'm like, what is happening? 341 00:15:19,625 --> 00:15:22,165 And that's when I, he's looking at the album thing. 342 00:15:22,165 --> 00:15:24,365 He's looking at his phone and he's mouthing the words, 343 00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,125 but he's not mouth, he's not, 344 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,325 it's not silent like his mouth is working. 345 00:15:28,435 --> 00:15:31,165 Like he If he thought he could have 346 00:15:31,165 --> 00:15:33,125 and he could have, he'd have been singing him. 347 00:15:33,145 --> 00:15:36,565 So I can hear his mouth moving 348 00:15:37,025 --> 00:15:38,485 and I know what he's doing. 349 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,965 And I was like, I don't, I dunno 350 00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:42,085 that this is better . 351 00:15:42,495 --> 00:15:45,645 Maybe you should just sing it. Just, just sing it. 352 00:15:45,715 --> 00:15:49,845 Just go ahead. Just go ahead. Okay. Here we go. 353 00:15:50,475 --> 00:15:51,885 - Okay, - Next question. 354 00:15:53,265 --> 00:15:56,405 How do you think others describe our relationship? 355 00:15:57,485 --> 00:15:59,245 I know how the internet sometimes describes it. 356 00:15:59,795 --> 00:16:01,405 Hashtag relationship goals. 357 00:16:01,665 --> 00:16:03,045 We did a whole episode a few years ago. 358 00:16:03,185 --> 00:16:04,165 But how, I don't like that. 'cause I 359 00:16:04,165 --> 00:16:04,845 don't think that's healthy. 360 00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:06,445 Please don't do that. If you can help it. 361 00:16:06,445 --> 00:16:08,645 However, beyond that, 362 00:16:08,985 --> 00:16:10,645 how do you think others would describe our relationship 363 00:16:10,645 --> 00:16:11,645 - Off the charts? 364 00:16:11,925 --> 00:16:13,485 . Chaotic. . Yes. 365 00:16:13,865 --> 00:16:16,845 - So chaotic. Yes. There. Before the grace of God go. 366 00:16:17,005 --> 00:16:18,245 I, I dunno, , 367 00:16:22,605 --> 00:16:24,685 - I, I, I think it would leave. 368 00:16:25,165 --> 00:16:28,325 I, I think it would leave most people, 369 00:16:28,505 --> 00:16:29,645 uh, scratching their heads. 370 00:16:30,085 --> 00:16:32,245 - I think it would leave most people exhausted. . 371 00:16:32,715 --> 00:16:36,045 - That too. - We're a lot, we're a lot together. 372 00:16:36,365 --> 00:16:37,525 - we can be because 373 00:16:37,525 --> 00:16:38,885 - Most of the time we're like in our groove. 374 00:16:38,975 --> 00:16:40,725 We're, you know, just trucking along. 375 00:16:41,025 --> 00:16:44,165 But we had, we had a moment this past weekend 376 00:16:44,165 --> 00:16:45,845 where we were not our best selves. 377 00:16:46,065 --> 00:16:48,205 Mm-Hmm. . Uh, and it was 48 hours 378 00:16:48,265 --> 00:16:49,445 of it not being great. 379 00:16:49,705 --> 00:16:53,205 And it's emotionally heavy, obviously for us. 380 00:16:53,205 --> 00:16:54,245 We're the ones going through it. 381 00:16:54,585 --> 00:16:57,805 But like, if you had to be on the outside watching each, 382 00:16:58,035 --> 00:17:00,005 each of us give both longing, 383 00:17:00,305 --> 00:17:01,885 but also slightly dirty looks 384 00:17:01,885 --> 00:17:03,885 to one another when the other one's not looking . 385 00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:06,965 Or we think the other one's not looking like, I miss you. 386 00:17:07,265 --> 00:17:09,725 I'm pissed off at you. I miss you. 387 00:17:10,565 --> 00:17:12,325 I can't stand the side of your face right in this second. 388 00:17:12,505 --> 00:17:13,765 And it's, it's mutual. Okay. 389 00:17:13,765 --> 00:17:14,925 This is not me like telling you 390 00:17:14,925 --> 00:17:16,885 what I'm like it is both of us. 391 00:17:17,215 --> 00:17:19,485 Right. It was so bad this time. 392 00:17:19,985 --> 00:17:22,005 We had to communicate via email. Yeah. 393 00:17:22,005 --> 00:17:23,285 We have not done that in literal years. 394 00:17:23,945 --> 00:17:26,005 Um, and I think that if somebody had 395 00:17:26,005 --> 00:17:28,285 to like witness when either things are really good 396 00:17:28,345 --> 00:17:30,405 or when things are really bad, they'd be like, oh my God, 397 00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,525 I'm fucking exhausted. 398 00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:35,845 - . We will wear you down. We'll, 399 00:17:36,175 --> 00:17:39,965 - We'll, we'll, um, believe it 400 00:17:39,965 --> 00:17:43,325 or not, as much as we put out on the internet, we, 401 00:17:43,325 --> 00:17:45,525 there are things we keep for ourselves and I just, right. 402 00:17:45,805 --> 00:17:48,645 I think it's, we're fine. We're good. Mm-Hmm. 403 00:17:48,685 --> 00:17:50,085 I think think we're sometimes even fun. 404 00:17:50,185 --> 00:17:52,525 But I'll tell you in the internal 405 00:17:52,525 --> 00:17:53,685 stuff, you would be exhausted. 406 00:17:53,745 --> 00:17:55,845 You would just, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 407 00:17:55,845 --> 00:17:57,365 Oh yeah. I, yeah. I I, 408 00:17:57,575 --> 00:17:58,925 - You'd be like, scratching your head 409 00:17:58,925 --> 00:18:00,005 and be like, what the fuck? 410 00:18:00,015 --> 00:18:01,645 - Right. Like just five seconds ago, 411 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:04,685 they were the iest wiest fuckers I've ever come across. 412 00:18:04,745 --> 00:18:07,085 It was nauseating. And now why are they looking 413 00:18:07,305 --> 00:18:08,445 at each other like that? 414 00:18:08,765 --> 00:18:11,645 , it doesn't happen often, 415 00:18:11,745 --> 00:18:13,685 but when it does, it is like it's whiplash. 416 00:18:13,685 --> 00:18:15,165 You're gonna get whiplash, . 417 00:18:15,505 --> 00:18:19,125 And then in the middle of the, in inciting incident, 418 00:18:19,405 --> 00:18:20,485 inciting incident. 419 00:18:20,485 --> 00:18:21,525 Is that how that goes? You know what I mean? 420 00:18:21,945 --> 00:18:24,645 Um, we're, yeah. 421 00:18:24,665 --> 00:18:27,085 Oh, I'm hugging Burger King to my chest. 422 00:18:27,185 --> 00:18:28,165 He is driving down the road 423 00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:29,285 and we're screaming at one another. 424 00:18:29,385 --> 00:18:32,005 And we don't do that very often. It, it is very rare. 425 00:18:32,585 --> 00:18:35,805 And in the middle of it, the 18-year-old calls, 426 00:18:36,205 --> 00:18:37,965 I go immediately into mom mode. 427 00:18:38,545 --> 00:18:39,805 And we both went into parental 428 00:18:39,805 --> 00:18:40,845 mode because he had a flat tire. 429 00:18:40,845 --> 00:18:43,445 We had to help him. And I mean, it was, 430 00:18:45,265 --> 00:18:47,565 it was a lot because we did not actually resolve, 431 00:18:47,565 --> 00:18:48,565 we didn't finish the argument. 432 00:18:48,565 --> 00:18:50,605 No. We didn't finish saying what we needed to fucking say 433 00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,005 - . 434 00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:52,135 Right. 435 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:56,925 - We didn't act kind towards one another at all, . 436 00:18:57,465 --> 00:18:58,925 But we also just dropped it 437 00:18:59,145 --> 00:19:00,285 and went, okay, what does the kid need? 438 00:19:00,285 --> 00:19:01,485 - What, what, what needs to be done here? 439 00:19:02,385 --> 00:19:04,845 - So yeah. Sometimes we're real, real good. 440 00:19:04,995 --> 00:19:07,445 Like we're all almost always real, real good. 441 00:19:07,465 --> 00:19:09,165 But we are intense. Mm-Hmm. 442 00:19:09,205 --> 00:19:13,165 we are intense sometimes, so. Yeah. Yeah. 443 00:19:13,365 --> 00:19:14,765 I think people would go, oh, that's a lot. 444 00:19:15,005 --> 00:19:16,005 I think that's what people would 445 00:19:16,005 --> 00:19:16,845 say from the outside looking in. 446 00:19:16,845 --> 00:19:18,565 That's a lot. Well, 447 00:19:18,565 --> 00:19:22,725 - Between the, uh, stubborn emotional cancer 448 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,085 that I am in the, oh. 449 00:19:24,085 --> 00:19:25,805 - With oh my God. All the stuff you still 450 00:19:25,805 --> 00:19:27,045 never got to work out through therapy. 451 00:19:27,505 --> 00:19:30,285 - And, and the Scorpio bit from hell that you are with 452 00:19:30,285 --> 00:19:31,285 - Control issues. 453 00:19:31,285 --> 00:19:33,325 And I, I think more sicknesses than people 454 00:19:33,325 --> 00:19:34,565 realize, have control issues. 455 00:19:34,845 --> 00:19:37,245 . That's why only some people get 456 00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:38,485 to have the control of me. 457 00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:40,565 Yeah. Because most people could not handle it. 458 00:19:40,725 --> 00:19:44,765 'cause I wouldn't let them. Thank you. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 459 00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:47,805 I think it's 'cause our, all 460 00:19:47,805 --> 00:19:49,205 of our emotions towards one another 461 00:19:50,395 --> 00:19:52,285 when we express them are just big. 462 00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:53,805 So when it's good. Mm-Hmm. . 463 00:19:53,995 --> 00:19:56,085 They're big and good. Yeah. 464 00:19:56,085 --> 00:19:59,045 And when it's bad, which is y'all, it's real, real rare. 465 00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,005 It's, I can't even remember the last time prior to this, 466 00:20:01,005 --> 00:20:02,045 we had a bad argument. 467 00:20:02,045 --> 00:20:04,405 Mm-Hmm. We had like six, six to nine months. 468 00:20:04,405 --> 00:20:07,805 Within the past six to nine months, but yeah. Mm-Hmm? 469 00:20:07,845 --> 00:20:10,765 . Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Intense. Mm-Hmm. 470 00:20:10,805 --> 00:20:12,365 is what I think you'll say is intense. Mm-Hmm. 471 00:20:12,405 --> 00:20:13,965 . Mm-Hmm. Okay. Here's this one. 472 00:20:14,035 --> 00:20:17,285 This one has the ability to get weird or to get sweet. So, 473 00:20:17,515 --> 00:20:18,515 - Okay. 474 00:20:18,515 --> 00:20:21,605 - We'll find out. All right. If I lost my memories. Mm-Hmm. 475 00:20:21,645 --> 00:20:23,565 , what's the first thing you'd 476 00:20:23,565 --> 00:20:24,605 tell me about us? 477 00:20:25,835 --> 00:20:27,765 It's intense. No . 478 00:20:32,585 --> 00:20:34,805 - You're not sassy. You were never sassy. 479 00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:38,005 - I think the heart knows . 480 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,165 And I think I would feel that that is not accurate. 481 00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:44,765 I think deep in my core soul, I would go, that's not right. 482 00:20:45,235 --> 00:20:46,285 Something about that is 483 00:20:46,285 --> 00:20:47,285 - Not right. 484 00:20:47,285 --> 00:20:49,845 You know, when I first saw that question, it, it, it, uh, 485 00:20:50,905 --> 00:20:53,845 the thing that popped into my mind was 51st dates. 486 00:20:54,385 --> 00:20:55,645 - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh 487 00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:56,645 - God. 488 00:20:56,645 --> 00:20:58,285 Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, 489 00:21:00,705 --> 00:21:04,405 the, the thing that, that the immediately popped 490 00:21:04,475 --> 00:21:05,765 into my mind Mm-Hmm. 491 00:21:05,805 --> 00:21:09,165 with this was telling you 492 00:21:09,265 --> 00:21:11,365 how when we order takeout, 493 00:21:12,565 --> 00:21:16,285 I always order a diet Coke , take a few sips 494 00:21:16,845 --> 00:21:18,165 , and then give it to you. 495 00:21:19,465 --> 00:21:24,405 - Oh my God. - And y'all, we had that 496 00:21:25,335 --> 00:21:28,765 nasty argument and he still gave me the diet Coke. 497 00:21:28,815 --> 00:21:30,485 Y'all it was still there. 498 00:21:30,505 --> 00:21:32,205 And I sure as shit drank it too. 499 00:21:32,645 --> 00:21:32,685 - . 500 00:21:41,305 --> 00:21:42,085 Oh my god. 501 00:21:42,315 --> 00:21:44,965 - Yeah. That would I, yeah, I think that would do it. 502 00:21:45,025 --> 00:21:47,005 I'd be like, oh, clearly he's my soulmate. 503 00:21:47,445 --> 00:21:50,925 - . - So I have been 504 00:21:50,925 --> 00:21:52,005 struggling with this question. 505 00:21:52,275 --> 00:21:53,245 - Okay. - 'cause there's 506 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,045 too fucking much I want to tell you. And everything needs 507 00:21:55,045 --> 00:21:56,045 - Context. 508 00:21:56,045 --> 00:21:59,565 - Right, right. So I couldn't just like, give you like 509 00:22:00,305 --> 00:22:03,245 two sentences and that encapsulates anything . 510 00:22:03,405 --> 00:22:07,365 I need, I need a, a several paragraphs, 511 00:22:07,515 --> 00:22:08,725 several thousand words. 512 00:22:08,965 --> 00:22:11,165 I like, I need, I need space to tell you stuff. 513 00:22:11,225 --> 00:22:15,525 But I would like to think that if you forgot us, 514 00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:19,445 you would still at some core know who you are. 515 00:22:20,425 --> 00:22:24,885 And the romantic in me who reads way too much erotic romance 516 00:22:25,905 --> 00:22:29,605 and likes way too many rom-coms wants to think 517 00:22:29,605 --> 00:22:31,805 that I could say to you, Mm-Hmm. 518 00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:37,645 You have the control, you have the power. You are my daddy. 519 00:22:38,385 --> 00:22:40,925 And that like, miraculously, that like lightning bolt. 520 00:22:40,925 --> 00:22:42,605 You go, I know what that means. But the problem is, 521 00:22:42,605 --> 00:22:43,645 is I'd have to then explain to you 522 00:22:43,645 --> 00:22:44,725 what daddy dos are . 523 00:22:45,025 --> 00:22:47,565 How I'm your baby girl and you actually do like me 524 00:22:47,635 --> 00:22:48,965 this sassy . 525 00:22:49,065 --> 00:22:51,805 You just don't like to admit it. Um, . 526 00:22:52,465 --> 00:22:54,405 And I would, I know I'd have to explain to you what 527 00:22:54,405 --> 00:22:55,725 that means, that you're my daddy. 528 00:22:55,945 --> 00:22:56,925 But that would be the first thing I, 529 00:22:56,925 --> 00:22:57,765 people are like, you're my daddy. 530 00:22:57,795 --> 00:23:00,685 Like, you're my, you're my dad. I'm sorry you're my daddy. 531 00:23:01,205 --> 00:23:02,445 - - . 532 00:23:02,785 --> 00:23:05,045 And then I'd need a, a good three 533 00:23:05,045 --> 00:23:06,565 to four business days to explain to you 534 00:23:06,565 --> 00:23:08,365 - What that meant. , 535 00:23:09,185 --> 00:23:11,045 - The full context of what that involves. 536 00:23:11,075 --> 00:23:12,285 Yeah. Yes, yes. Yeah. 537 00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:17,445 - But - I would be happy to be sipping on a diet Coke. 538 00:23:18,365 --> 00:23:19,605 Actually, the thing I might tell you is, you know, 539 00:23:19,605 --> 00:23:20,885 even when you're mad at me, you 540 00:23:20,885 --> 00:23:22,085 always give me your diet coke, 541 00:23:22,365 --> 00:23:23,365 - . 542 00:23:27,905 --> 00:23:29,725 - And yes, you secretly love the sass. Mm-Hmm. 543 00:23:29,765 --> 00:23:31,205 , you actually compliment me on it 544 00:23:31,305 --> 00:23:33,445 and tell me I should be more sassy than I am. 545 00:23:33,745 --> 00:23:35,125 And that I don't need to hold back. 546 00:23:35,235 --> 00:23:36,235 - Wait, - What? 547 00:23:36,755 --> 00:23:37,565 - What? Look, 548 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,765 - If you do not use somebody else's amnesia 549 00:23:39,765 --> 00:23:41,485 to your own purpose, what are we doing here? 550 00:23:41,955 --> 00:23:42,245 Okay. 551 00:23:47,955 --> 00:23:48,245 Okay. 552 00:23:48,545 --> 00:23:50,325 - You're terrible. I'm keeping an eye on you. 553 00:23:51,385 --> 00:23:52,645 I'm keeping an eye on you. 554 00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:54,605 - You should. - That's 555 00:23:54,605 --> 00:23:55,605 - The whole point. 556 00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:57,885 . That's the whole point. Okay. 557 00:23:59,115 --> 00:24:01,925 What has this relationship taught you about yourself? 558 00:24:03,785 --> 00:24:06,405 - Oh my gosh. - I can tell you what it's taught you, 559 00:24:06,405 --> 00:24:07,445 but that's probably not what this 560 00:24:07,805 --> 00:24:08,805 - Supposed to be. 561 00:24:08,805 --> 00:24:12,845 You can tell me what it's taught me. Oh boy. . Here. 562 00:24:12,845 --> 00:24:14,685 Slide me a note under the table. No. 563 00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:17,405 - What has this relationship taught you about yourself? Um, 564 00:24:18,445 --> 00:24:23,045 - I I think it, if I, a couple things right off the bat, 565 00:24:23,265 --> 00:24:27,405 um, I, I have always seen myself as a, 566 00:24:27,565 --> 00:24:29,485 a relatively patient person. 567 00:24:30,025 --> 00:24:33,805 But our relationship has definitely, um, 568 00:24:35,025 --> 00:24:37,765 taught me to be even more so patient. 569 00:24:38,605 --> 00:24:40,125 - I thought it was, you were gonna say, it's taught me I'm 570 00:24:40,125 --> 00:24:41,605 not as patient as I thought I was. 571 00:24:42,045 --> 00:24:45,925 - . And, um, I, 572 00:24:46,165 --> 00:24:49,405 I think one of the other things that, uh, definitely has 573 00:24:49,945 --> 00:24:52,285 taught me, um, 574 00:24:54,905 --> 00:24:59,405 is that, you know, there's, um, more way of, of seeing 575 00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:02,245 and, and approaching things. 576 00:25:04,155 --> 00:25:05,155 Then 577 00:25:05,465 --> 00:25:07,045 - You're very rigid, stuck in your way. 578 00:25:07,045 --> 00:25:08,845 This is the way we do it way. Yeah. Yeah. 579 00:25:08,845 --> 00:25:10,365 There's more than one way to skin a cat. Yeah. 580 00:25:10,405 --> 00:25:11,485 I don't know why we're skinning a cat. 581 00:25:11,685 --> 00:25:12,245 I don't think we should 582 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:13,765 , but there is more than one way. 583 00:25:13,765 --> 00:25:15,085 There's more than one way to load a 584 00:25:15,085 --> 00:25:17,605 dishwasher and fold a towel. 585 00:25:18,445 --> 00:25:19,605 - . - Okay. 586 00:25:19,705 --> 00:25:21,725 So this is an aside that will maybe make 587 00:25:21,725 --> 00:25:22,885 that comment make sense, but I have 588 00:25:22,885 --> 00:25:24,045 - To tell it. Oh my gosh. Oh gosh. 589 00:25:24,625 --> 00:25:27,925 - So this goes a probably goes a little bit to the answer 590 00:25:27,925 --> 00:25:29,365 to this question, but it's not the answer I had in mine. 591 00:25:29,865 --> 00:25:33,725 So one, I, uh, started to understand what true compromise 592 00:25:33,725 --> 00:25:36,725 and a relationship was when I let him air, quote, let him, 593 00:25:36,955 --> 00:25:38,805 when I did not fuss about the way he loaded 594 00:25:38,925 --> 00:25:40,005 a dishwasher, first of all. 595 00:25:40,625 --> 00:25:45,045 But, okay, so you can be together for a long time 596 00:25:45,105 --> 00:25:46,365 and little things that are, are, 597 00:25:46,365 --> 00:25:48,525 don't matter can sometimes annoy you, 598 00:25:48,525 --> 00:25:49,725 but not enough to where you say anything. 599 00:25:49,725 --> 00:25:50,565 Right? You just go, ha 600 00:25:54,985 --> 00:25:56,405 jb folds towels. 601 00:25:56,465 --> 00:25:57,605 Not, not bad at all. 602 00:25:57,605 --> 00:26:00,165 Like, I had a, a way that I folded towels for years. 603 00:26:00,485 --> 00:26:02,325 I actually adopted part of his way to do that. 604 00:26:02,345 --> 00:26:04,205 But something he does that always come at me go, 605 00:26:04,205 --> 00:26:06,365 what the fuck is when he folds a towel, 606 00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:08,485 if there's a decorative bit on it, 607 00:26:08,555 --> 00:26:10,885 that'll somehow make its way inside the fold. 608 00:26:10,885 --> 00:26:11,685 And I'm like, no, no, no. 609 00:26:11,685 --> 00:26:12,685 That's supposed to be on the outside. 610 00:26:12,985 --> 00:26:14,845 So he's helping me fold laundry one day. 611 00:26:14,845 --> 00:26:16,365 And while I am extremely grateful to 612 00:26:16,365 --> 00:26:19,045 how he is helping me fold laundry, I was like, 613 00:26:19,285 --> 00:26:20,485 I love you so much. 614 00:26:20,785 --> 00:26:22,725 But that why, why do you do that? 615 00:26:22,825 --> 00:26:25,085 And put the, the decoration part on the inside. 616 00:26:25,385 --> 00:26:28,205 - It goes in the closet. Nobody sees it. It could still 617 00:26:28,205 --> 00:26:29,245 - Look nice when it's in the closet. 618 00:26:29,425 --> 00:26:31,885 I'm trying to say something sweet about you. Damn it. 619 00:26:32,745 --> 00:26:35,205 So she said submissively . 620 00:26:35,705 --> 00:26:40,045 So He didn't, didn't say a word. 621 00:26:40,105 --> 00:26:43,725 Didn't fuss, didn't argue. I did have the like, exhausted. 622 00:26:43,825 --> 00:26:45,685 Oh my fucking God kind of thing. 623 00:26:46,305 --> 00:26:48,645 He just calmly unfolded it, refolded it. 624 00:26:48,645 --> 00:26:50,765 And I just went, oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much. 625 00:26:50,765 --> 00:26:53,405 Thank you so, so much. Now does he forget with other towels? 626 00:26:53,405 --> 00:26:56,085 Sure. But does he always remember with our towels? Yes. 627 00:26:56,105 --> 00:26:57,245 So I don't say much 'cause I don't, 628 00:26:57,325 --> 00:26:58,725 I care about the other towels, but I don't. 629 00:26:59,505 --> 00:27:01,205 So the, like a day 630 00:27:01,365 --> 00:27:05,205 or two later, he's watching me load the dishwasher. 631 00:27:05,225 --> 00:27:08,925 And he had his own calmer, less bitchy moment 632 00:27:09,495 --> 00:27:12,525 where he was like, no, you need to put the cat. 633 00:27:12,635 --> 00:27:15,085 Well, we do a liquor pad for Ella, 634 00:27:15,085 --> 00:27:17,125 or she will unh her jaw to eat. And we're like, 635 00:27:17,475 --> 00:27:19,805 - Slow down and, and engulf the entire bowl in one bite. 636 00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:23,885 - So he's like, no, no, no, you need to put this in this way 637 00:27:23,945 --> 00:27:25,285 so the water hits it better. 638 00:27:25,345 --> 00:27:29,885 And my, and my initial response was to argue , God, 639 00:27:30,765 --> 00:27:33,605 I am not doing these brat claims any favors, am I? 640 00:27:33,865 --> 00:27:37,125 Um, my initial response was to argue like, wait, 641 00:27:37,155 --> 00:27:39,445 I've been putting it in this way all this time. 642 00:27:39,445 --> 00:27:41,605 It comes out clean, it's fine. And then I stopped myself. 643 00:27:41,705 --> 00:27:44,285 One, I remembered that who's actually in charge here? 644 00:27:44,765 --> 00:27:47,525 . Uh, and two, I remembered how he just like quickly 645 00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,725 and quietly and without a fuss fixed 646 00:27:49,725 --> 00:27:50,765 how he folded the towels. 647 00:27:50,765 --> 00:27:52,925 And I went, fuck it. Okay. . 648 00:27:56,825 --> 00:27:59,045 Um, how does that relate to 649 00:27:59,155 --> 00:28:01,085 what has this relationship taught you about yourself? 650 00:28:01,285 --> 00:28:03,405 I am capable of compromise . 651 00:28:03,905 --> 00:28:07,325 Um, and it really can be somebody else's way. 652 00:28:07,625 --> 00:28:09,405 Uh, that's not the answer that came to mind, 653 00:28:09,425 --> 00:28:14,045 but that was a whole aside about dishwashers and towels. 654 00:28:14,045 --> 00:28:16,805 Mm-Hmm. . Um, the thing that I have 655 00:28:17,395 --> 00:28:19,165 learned in this relationship mm-hmm. 656 00:28:19,205 --> 00:28:21,245 , is that I am, 657 00:28:22,705 --> 00:28:25,725 and I can be much 658 00:28:26,595 --> 00:28:28,885 less reserved and to myself 659 00:28:29,905 --> 00:28:32,765 and, um, trying to put on the appearance 660 00:28:32,765 --> 00:28:33,845 of whatever normal is supposed to mean. 661 00:28:34,125 --> 00:28:37,285 Like, that's, that's my public persona under my legal name. 662 00:28:37,285 --> 00:28:38,325 Like, I don't say a lot 663 00:28:38,865 --> 00:28:42,285 and I have pretty sarcastic way about me, 664 00:28:42,285 --> 00:28:43,605 but very few people get to see that. 665 00:28:43,605 --> 00:28:45,005 And it's always very reserved. 666 00:28:45,005 --> 00:28:46,245 Like people 667 00:28:46,245 --> 00:28:48,205 who know me under my legal name think I 668 00:28:48,205 --> 00:28:49,365 don't know how to get a, have a good time. 669 00:28:49,385 --> 00:28:50,445 And they're right. I don't. 670 00:28:50,465 --> 00:28:53,565 But as a kinky person 671 00:28:53,705 --> 00:28:57,245 and with a partner that I trust completely. 672 00:28:57,345 --> 00:28:59,365 And I guess I never realized that I had never been 673 00:28:59,365 --> 00:29:01,365 around somebody I trusted completely 674 00:29:01,425 --> 00:29:05,725 before I have learned that I am and can be a weird bitch. 675 00:29:05,835 --> 00:29:06,885 Like I . 676 00:29:07,525 --> 00:29:10,485 I have have learned how to be more, 677 00:29:10,555 --> 00:29:13,285 whoever my true self is now, I still have a lot of fear 678 00:29:13,285 --> 00:29:17,285 and should go to therapy about letting that be seen outside 679 00:29:17,285 --> 00:29:21,445 of very controlled circumstances with JB always 680 00:29:21,585 --> 00:29:22,925 to the point he's exhausted. 681 00:29:23,075 --> 00:29:26,285 Okay. With y'all, with a camera and a mic between us. 682 00:29:26,315 --> 00:29:27,965 Like, I don't have to look anybody in the eye. 683 00:29:29,145 --> 00:29:33,365 Um, and it's been freeing. It's been a mind fuck. 684 00:29:33,785 --> 00:29:37,325 But it's been very freeing to kind of realize, oh, this is, 685 00:29:37,555 --> 00:29:40,765 this is who I am when all the guard is let down. 686 00:29:40,765 --> 00:29:42,205 Mm-Hmm when I trust completely. 687 00:29:42,345 --> 00:29:45,525 And I know that even if you piss me off, I still love you. 688 00:29:45,525 --> 00:29:47,445 Even when I piss you off, you still love me 689 00:29:47,445 --> 00:29:52,245 that we're not gonna 99.99% of the time, 690 00:29:52,375 --> 00:29:55,165 we're not gonna throw past things in our faces. Doesn't 691 00:29:55,165 --> 00:29:56,245 - Matter how mad I am at you, dear, 692 00:29:56,245 --> 00:29:57,245 I'll still give you my diet 693 00:29:57,245 --> 00:29:58,245 - Coke. 694 00:29:58,245 --> 00:30:02,685 I clearly . And you were God love you, 695 00:30:02,685 --> 00:30:05,405 the shittiest version of yourself in that argument. 696 00:30:07,385 --> 00:30:09,405 And some people would've clung to the ob, 697 00:30:09,405 --> 00:30:10,405 but he gave me the Diet Coke. 698 00:30:10,485 --> 00:30:11,885 I was like, oh, I'll take the diet Coke. 699 00:30:11,945 --> 00:30:14,245 But we also still have to have the conversation. 700 00:30:14,265 --> 00:30:16,125 And I still need an apology. Thank you. 701 00:30:17,345 --> 00:30:20,965 Um, but see, yeah, that's the other thing that I've learned 702 00:30:20,965 --> 00:30:23,565 that I'm a lot, I knew I was strong. 703 00:30:23,845 --> 00:30:26,365 'cause I had, I knew I had like mental 704 00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:28,125 and emotional fortitude on some things. 705 00:30:28,885 --> 00:30:31,285 I just thought strength was 706 00:30:32,635 --> 00:30:34,205 keep going when shit gets rough. 707 00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:37,685 Or do the the thing even when you don't feel like doing it. 708 00:30:37,685 --> 00:30:38,885 Mm-Hmm. . I mean, there's something to that. 709 00:30:39,025 --> 00:30:41,165 But the strength that I've kind 710 00:30:41,165 --> 00:30:43,365 of discovered is I can go toe to toe with you. 711 00:30:44,285 --> 00:30:46,205 I who hate confrontation. 712 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:49,565 I who don't ever want my daddy to be upset with me. 713 00:30:49,565 --> 00:30:51,205 And that's not just because I'm trying 714 00:30:51,205 --> 00:30:53,285 to be a good submissive, it is also the childhood trauma. 715 00:30:53,285 --> 00:30:57,725 Like there's, but when I'm safe, this is who I am. Mm-Hmm. 716 00:30:57,765 --> 00:31:01,765 . And that has been a bit of a mind fuck, 717 00:31:01,785 --> 00:31:04,005 but also very liberating also. 718 00:31:04,475 --> 00:31:08,165 That is why I tell you frequently you only have yourself 719 00:31:08,165 --> 00:31:09,325 to blame . 720 00:31:09,945 --> 00:31:11,525 You did this. Fuck. 721 00:31:13,035 --> 00:31:16,285 There's a part of me that wishes that maybe, um, 722 00:31:17,445 --> 00:31:22,325 a a a tone slightly toned down version of this I felt safe 723 00:31:22,345 --> 00:31:24,445 to do in other places and in other ways. 724 00:31:24,585 --> 00:31:26,405 Mm-Hmm. . Um, not 725 00:31:26,405 --> 00:31:27,645 to everybody, everybody don't deserve it. 726 00:31:27,705 --> 00:31:32,685 But you know, that I could be bold outside 727 00:31:32,905 --> 00:31:35,125 of what you know, you 728 00:31:35,125 --> 00:31:38,845 and I, um, I'm not, I don't know if I'll ever get there. 729 00:31:38,885 --> 00:31:40,645 I know I'm not there yet. Mm-Hmm. . 730 00:31:40,665 --> 00:31:42,485 But the fact that I have this in me, 731 00:31:42,485 --> 00:31:45,605 and this is a very good 732 00:31:46,755 --> 00:31:47,805 part of who I am. 733 00:31:50,315 --> 00:31:52,645 It's, it's been interesting to discover 734 00:31:53,595 --> 00:31:55,485 because I've always been weird in my head. 735 00:31:55,605 --> 00:31:57,165 I just never really had the freedom 736 00:31:57,185 --> 00:31:59,325 and luxury to say the weird shit out loud. 737 00:31:59,325 --> 00:32:03,365 Mm-Hmm. or as poor JB has has learned. 738 00:32:04,025 --> 00:32:06,045 Is it stemming? Is it fidgeting? I don't know. 739 00:32:06,045 --> 00:32:07,125 But there's a lot of movement. 740 00:32:07,155 --> 00:32:09,325 Both of my vocal cords in my body, 741 00:32:09,715 --> 00:32:11,445 just if I'm standing still , I'm just 742 00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:14,645 things I would never let anybody else see. 743 00:32:15,625 --> 00:32:19,925 And you get to see it all. Aren't you so lucky? . 744 00:32:23,565 --> 00:32:28,485 . So, okay. Oh my goodness. Okay. 745 00:32:30,785 --> 00:32:35,765 How do you think I've changed since we first met? Mm. 746 00:32:37,545 --> 00:32:39,445 - Oh my. How have - You changed? 747 00:32:45,325 --> 00:32:48,165 I would say on, on a couple things. 748 00:32:49,105 --> 00:32:51,965 Um, when I first met you, 749 00:32:53,545 --> 00:32:54,845 you were very rigid about 750 00:32:54,945 --> 00:32:57,125 how certain things were to be done. I would 751 00:32:57,125 --> 00:32:58,805 - Still like to be rigid like that. This is, 752 00:32:59,085 --> 00:33:01,885 - I would still like to this, you you, when it, when it came 753 00:33:01,985 --> 00:33:05,845 to doing things, you were very one truism 754 00:33:06,635 --> 00:33:08,565 - Only about the shit that is important to me. 755 00:33:08,665 --> 00:33:09,925 Not how everybody else should be doing 756 00:33:09,955 --> 00:33:11,165 shit. Just to be clear. 757 00:33:11,625 --> 00:33:13,645 - And, and you, I - Like routines 758 00:33:14,745 --> 00:33:17,085 - And, and you've kind of mellowed on that a little bit. 759 00:33:17,185 --> 00:33:18,185 And, and you're more, 760 00:33:19,395 --> 00:33:22,445 - There's something freeing about saying and believing 761 00:33:22,445 --> 00:33:24,685 and then living, Hey, somebody else is in charge here. 762 00:33:25,405 --> 00:33:28,605 I don't have to decide the thing. 763 00:33:28,805 --> 00:33:30,205 I don't have to figure this out 764 00:33:30,225 --> 00:33:31,845 and then do it the one way I figure it out. 765 00:33:31,845 --> 00:33:32,845 Even though sure there are other ways, 766 00:33:32,985 --> 00:33:34,405 but this is the way that brings me comfort. 767 00:33:34,765 --> 00:33:36,285 'cause I know it'll work every fucking time. 768 00:33:37,625 --> 00:33:40,685 She says neuro divergently, um, . 769 00:33:41,985 --> 00:33:46,605 But, um, so yeah. I mean, I could, I was safe with you. 770 00:33:46,605 --> 00:33:47,725 Yeah. I mean, that's my big thing. 771 00:33:47,745 --> 00:33:49,805 All of the, the past couple questions, I'm safe with you. 772 00:33:50,115 --> 00:33:54,045 Yeah. You, um, are competent. 773 00:33:54,425 --> 00:33:57,565 You, uh, think things through almost as much as I do. 774 00:33:57,565 --> 00:33:59,165 You're just less obsessive about it. 775 00:33:59,165 --> 00:34:02,245 Like you're you're healthier about it. Okay. 776 00:34:02,685 --> 00:34:05,125 . Um, and so I could kind of let go. 777 00:34:05,325 --> 00:34:09,045 'cause like for all kinds of reasons, previous marriage, 778 00:34:09,195 --> 00:34:13,005 just my life before you, the only sense 779 00:34:13,025 --> 00:34:14,325 of comfort I had 780 00:34:14,325 --> 00:34:16,445 and control I had was that I could get, 781 00:34:16,645 --> 00:34:18,885 I could do all the things that the world expected of me 782 00:34:19,465 --> 00:34:21,565 and that was the demands that were placed upon me. 783 00:34:21,585 --> 00:34:24,245 But I had to do it in a way, in a, in a certain way. 784 00:34:25,185 --> 00:34:26,685 And 'cause I couldn't trust other people 785 00:34:26,925 --> 00:34:29,365 'cause they could not be trusted to care about it. 786 00:34:29,985 --> 00:34:32,885 To, I mean, married to somebody for almost a decade 787 00:34:33,105 --> 00:34:35,685 who would not do the simplest thing, wouldn't even come up 788 00:34:35,685 --> 00:34:38,205 with his own fucking way, let alone try and do it my way. 789 00:34:38,505 --> 00:34:39,685 And everything had to get done 790 00:34:39,685 --> 00:34:40,725 and it was all on my shoulders. 791 00:34:40,725 --> 00:34:42,285 And so I had to fucking find a way. Mm-Hmm. . 792 00:34:42,505 --> 00:34:44,165 And then you come into my life and I go, 793 00:34:44,465 --> 00:34:46,045 but yes, I will be your submissive 794 00:34:46,045 --> 00:34:48,205 and let's figure out what the fuck about things . 795 00:34:48,985 --> 00:34:53,485 But quicker than I think a younger version 796 00:34:53,485 --> 00:34:55,485 of me would ever have been able to do it, 797 00:34:55,625 --> 00:34:57,525 but slower than I think you would've liked. 798 00:34:57,525 --> 00:34:58,605 Mm-Hmm. I let go. 799 00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:00,525 I was like, yes, I can trust him. He can't. 800 00:35:00,585 --> 00:35:02,165 He has a responsible fucking adult 801 00:35:02,585 --> 00:35:04,405 who actually cares about my best 802 00:35:04,645 --> 00:35:05,685 interest as much as himself. 803 00:35:06,265 --> 00:35:09,765 And, you know, does doesn't mean we don't still, you know, 804 00:35:09,765 --> 00:35:11,525 sometimes snipe at one over over 805 00:35:11,785 --> 00:35:12,925 how the dishwasher is loaded. 806 00:35:13,105 --> 00:35:15,605 But the freedom. 807 00:35:16,005 --> 00:35:17,685 - I think that bothered you a little bit more than, 808 00:35:17,715 --> 00:35:18,725 than you're admitting to 809 00:35:18,725 --> 00:35:19,765 because you keep bringing 810 00:35:19,765 --> 00:35:21,845 that same instance up over and over again. 811 00:35:21,955 --> 00:35:22,955 It's fine. 812 00:35:23,945 --> 00:35:28,845 - Um, The the sense of safety that you 813 00:35:29,395 --> 00:35:31,245 gave me, I could let go. 814 00:35:31,705 --> 00:35:32,885 I'm not perfect at it. 815 00:35:33,065 --> 00:35:35,725 I'm, uh, the higher the stress, 816 00:35:35,865 --> 00:35:37,685 the more I try, I get more rigid. 817 00:35:37,805 --> 00:35:41,285 I get. Mm. Um, part of our argument 818 00:35:41,865 --> 00:35:44,325 was about a lot of the changes going on around here 819 00:35:44,345 --> 00:35:47,085 and how I basically think I'm failing every day 820 00:35:47,085 --> 00:35:48,645 and I don't know what the right answer is. 821 00:35:48,665 --> 00:35:51,165 And so my brain is constantly trying 822 00:35:51,165 --> 00:35:52,285 to figure out what's the right path. 823 00:35:52,285 --> 00:35:54,605 There is no right path. I just gotta fucking do something 824 00:35:54,665 --> 00:35:55,925 and figure it out as we go. 825 00:35:55,985 --> 00:35:57,125 But I don't like that. 826 00:35:57,945 --> 00:36:00,745 Um, and you know, it's a thing 827 00:36:00,745 --> 00:36:03,465 that in when I'm outta my comfort zone, when I don't feel 828 00:36:04,095 --> 00:36:05,185 safe Mm-Hmm. 829 00:36:05,225 --> 00:36:06,265 and that can mean a lot of things. 830 00:36:06,425 --> 00:36:07,465 I always feel safe with you. 831 00:36:07,505 --> 00:36:08,705 I always feel safe in our relationship. 832 00:36:08,845 --> 00:36:09,905 But when I'm out on a limb 833 00:36:09,905 --> 00:36:11,585 and doing something that I have, don't know 834 00:36:11,585 --> 00:36:13,985 what the fuck I'm doing, I don't feel safe. 835 00:36:14,685 --> 00:36:16,425 And so then I go back to being rigid. 836 00:36:16,485 --> 00:36:18,985 But that is a lot less often 837 00:36:19,565 --> 00:36:24,025 and we resolve it a lot faster, if that makes sense. 838 00:36:24,025 --> 00:36:25,425 Mm-Hmm. it's still within me. 839 00:36:25,865 --> 00:36:30,425 , you being you is what allows me to relax 840 00:36:30,945 --> 00:36:33,865 a little bit and go, I am the submissive. 841 00:36:33,945 --> 00:36:36,305 I do not have to make decisions on certain things. 842 00:36:37,295 --> 00:36:39,345 What does daddy want? And then life beco does 843 00:36:39,345 --> 00:36:40,625 sometimes become simpler for that. 844 00:36:40,625 --> 00:36:43,545 Mm-Hmm. , we are in some uncharted territory 845 00:36:43,545 --> 00:36:45,465 and things that are outside of our power exchange. 846 00:36:45,565 --> 00:36:46,705 The one thing that is outside of our 847 00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:47,745 power exchange is parenting. 848 00:36:48,265 --> 00:36:49,345 'cause it has to be. Yeah. 849 00:36:49,345 --> 00:36:52,025 Like, it just, in my mind, it just fucking has to be. 850 00:36:52,605 --> 00:36:57,345 Um, but it, so it means it's the place I have to, we have 851 00:36:57,345 --> 00:36:59,905 to come together and compromise in a way we as Yeah. 852 00:37:00,165 --> 00:37:02,265 We, we compromise in our power exchange. Mm-Hmm. 853 00:37:02,305 --> 00:37:03,905 we, because that's, that works for us. Sure. 854 00:37:03,965 --> 00:37:07,465 But ultimately you have the final say in this, we have 855 00:37:07,465 --> 00:37:08,825 to figure out where we agree 856 00:37:09,205 --> 00:37:11,465 and then figure out on the places we disagree 857 00:37:11,645 --> 00:37:13,785 and meet somewhere in the middle is okay to disagree 858 00:37:13,785 --> 00:37:14,785 and have our own way. 859 00:37:14,845 --> 00:37:17,825 And it's still like, and it's, uh, yeah. 860 00:37:18,065 --> 00:37:19,865 I mean, there's a part of me that would love 861 00:37:19,865 --> 00:37:22,865 to throw it at you and go, just fucking decide 862 00:37:23,655 --> 00:37:25,825 that part of me is the submissive baby girl. 863 00:37:26,205 --> 00:37:27,825 The mother in me is like, I, 864 00:37:28,065 --> 00:37:29,265 I can't that, I can't let that go. 865 00:37:29,265 --> 00:37:30,465 I can't do that. Yeah. Go. We can't do that. 866 00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:34,105 I have to be in this decision making process. Mm-Hmm. 867 00:37:34,145 --> 00:37:36,425 and whatever. So yeah. I, yeah. 868 00:37:36,505 --> 00:37:39,625 I still, I still struggle with the rigidity. 869 00:37:40,615 --> 00:37:42,865 It's still there. And in any other scenario, 870 00:37:43,005 --> 00:37:44,265 oh, I'm rigid as fuck. 871 00:37:44,765 --> 00:37:49,385 But with you No, I don't have to be. So, okay. 872 00:37:49,405 --> 00:37:52,185 So how do I think you've changed since we first met? Mm. 873 00:37:53,765 --> 00:37:57,665 You, um, the one, 874 00:37:57,685 --> 00:38:00,265 the changes I've seen have actually not been 875 00:38:00,265 --> 00:38:01,305 about our relationship. 876 00:38:01,455 --> 00:38:04,225 I've gotten so much older, shush, . 877 00:38:05,765 --> 00:38:07,865 The changes I've seen aren't really about our relationship. 878 00:38:08,055 --> 00:38:10,865 I've seen you, um, more vulnerable over the years 879 00:38:11,125 --> 00:38:12,145 and that's just proximity. 880 00:38:12,215 --> 00:38:13,705 That was just meant to happen 881 00:38:13,705 --> 00:38:16,265 because of time when we first got together 882 00:38:16,325 --> 00:38:18,305 and when we first moved in together, you 883 00:38:19,065 --> 00:38:23,825 consistently presented as super strong, super competent, 884 00:38:23,945 --> 00:38:26,305 super capable in charge daddy dom 885 00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:28,465 and then life would happen. 886 00:38:28,565 --> 00:38:31,225 And, and that couldn't continue when, 887 00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:32,705 when your sister got sick, right? 888 00:38:32,705 --> 00:38:33,945 Mm-Hmm. like that was the first time 889 00:38:34,795 --> 00:38:36,645 there was a crack in that facade 890 00:38:36,645 --> 00:38:38,805 because that's just how life is sometimes. 891 00:38:39,545 --> 00:38:44,365 Um, over the years outside of the, the big hard moments 892 00:38:45,115 --> 00:38:46,965 I've seen it when you're just uncertain. 893 00:38:47,035 --> 00:38:48,805 Like you don't even know what the right path is. 894 00:38:48,805 --> 00:38:50,125 And we're trying to figure it out together. 895 00:38:50,745 --> 00:38:52,925 Um, and it's funny 896 00:38:53,045 --> 00:38:57,805 because when that happens, I get to kind 897 00:38:57,805 --> 00:39:00,565 of slot myself into that helper role that I like with you. 898 00:39:00,565 --> 00:39:01,645 Mm-Hmm. where I'm like, okay, 899 00:39:02,465 --> 00:39:03,845 I'm gonna support whatever decision you make. 900 00:39:03,845 --> 00:39:06,125 Here are the options. Here's what I think, blah, blah, blah. 901 00:39:06,305 --> 00:39:10,245 Let me take off of your shoulders as much as I can so that, 902 00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:12,445 you know, you can then do what you need to do 903 00:39:12,505 --> 00:39:13,525 as, as the daddy. 904 00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:16,085 Um, and I've, that's been subtle 905 00:39:16,085 --> 00:39:19,205 because you were always able to be vulnerable 906 00:39:19,205 --> 00:39:21,685 with me once we kind of got to a point in our relationship 907 00:39:21,825 --> 00:39:24,005 and, you know, there's, we developed that intimacy 908 00:39:24,005 --> 00:39:25,965 of just being real with one another very early on. 909 00:39:26,385 --> 00:39:29,205 The biggest change I've seen in yous actually as a parent, 910 00:39:30,995 --> 00:39:33,005 because when the oldest 911 00:39:34,505 --> 00:39:38,005 hit the terrible teenagers , those terrible, 912 00:39:38,365 --> 00:39:42,725 terrible teenage years, you did what a lot of parents do. 913 00:39:43,945 --> 00:39:46,125 Um, that I had done my best to break that habit 914 00:39:46,125 --> 00:39:47,605 of when the boys were much, much younger. 915 00:39:47,935 --> 00:39:50,085 Which is you fell back on the parenting, 916 00:39:50,105 --> 00:39:51,165 you remembered Mm-Hmm. 917 00:39:51,205 --> 00:39:52,405 , which was not healthy 918 00:39:52,745 --> 00:39:54,525 and certainly not how we were moving forward. 919 00:39:54,665 --> 00:39:56,285 And it was a source of strife for us. 920 00:39:57,025 --> 00:40:01,725 Um, because you wanted to just drop the hammer, insist that, 921 00:40:01,725 --> 00:40:04,125 because you said a thing, a kid should do a thing, 922 00:40:04,675 --> 00:40:06,685 your word was law. 923 00:40:06,745 --> 00:40:09,045 I'm like, yes. Mm-Hmm. between you and me. 924 00:40:09,355 --> 00:40:11,165 Sure. And even I'm gonna back talk. 925 00:40:11,445 --> 00:40:14,565 I got questions sometimes , um, 926 00:40:15,585 --> 00:40:18,045 and over time and mm-Hmm. 927 00:40:18,085 --> 00:40:20,565 through a through a lot of strife between us. 928 00:40:20,785 --> 00:40:23,725 Um, 'cause it it was a painful thing to be on. Yeah. 929 00:40:23,725 --> 00:40:28,125 Such opposite ends of this. Um, you mellowed Mm-Hmm. 930 00:40:28,165 --> 00:40:32,045 you did your own like self-education 931 00:40:32,045 --> 00:40:33,485 of like, what are my options? 932 00:40:33,785 --> 00:40:36,565 You listened to me, which was like the most important thing 933 00:40:36,565 --> 00:40:38,165 because I was like, look, I don't have all the fucking 934 00:40:38,165 --> 00:40:40,525 answers either, but I know how I was raised 935 00:40:40,905 --> 00:40:42,605 and one that kid over there, 936 00:40:43,815 --> 00:40:46,325 he'll go down swinging this, this is not gonna work. 937 00:40:46,665 --> 00:40:48,565 But two, I know how fucked up I am. 938 00:40:48,625 --> 00:40:50,605 So why would I do the same thing 939 00:40:51,035 --> 00:40:52,485 expecting a different result? 940 00:40:54,105 --> 00:40:56,765 So, you know, we, we figured it out together and, 941 00:40:56,825 --> 00:40:57,965 and we're still figuring it out 942 00:40:57,965 --> 00:40:59,685 because what if you have kids and they're little 943 00:40:59,685 --> 00:41:00,725 and you hadn't figured this out yet. 944 00:41:01,525 --> 00:41:02,885 Whatever you did with that first one, throw 945 00:41:02,885 --> 00:41:04,125 that shit out for the next one. 946 00:41:04,195 --> 00:41:05,405 It's not gonna fucking work. . 947 00:41:05,405 --> 00:41:08,085 They're two different people and they will defy all 948 00:41:08,085 --> 00:41:09,165 of the rules you think, you know. 949 00:41:09,505 --> 00:41:13,405 So we're back to it. But on a much mellower Yes. Way. 950 00:41:14,105 --> 00:41:17,485 Um, but yeah, I, watching you change 951 00:41:17,485 --> 00:41:19,605 as a parent has been really gratifying 952 00:41:19,605 --> 00:41:22,605 because one, it meant that you would let me influence you. 953 00:41:22,745 --> 00:41:25,205 Mm-Hmm. two that you, you were not so rigid 954 00:41:25,345 --> 00:41:29,485 and stuck in the old way That only, I mean, 955 00:41:29,485 --> 00:41:31,805 every time I could, I could sense that 956 00:41:31,915 --> 00:41:33,365 what I was hearing from you in a 957 00:41:33,365 --> 00:41:34,605 parenting role was your father 958 00:41:35,285 --> 00:41:36,245 - . Oh God. I, 959 00:41:36,345 --> 00:41:38,525 - And I would just, when I could calmly go, 960 00:41:39,565 --> 00:41:41,645 I know you remember that from about 50 years ago. 961 00:41:41,695 --> 00:41:42,765 How'd that work out for you? 962 00:41:43,685 --> 00:41:46,605 - . . Yeah. 963 00:41:47,185 --> 00:41:49,005 - You know better. So you do better. It's, yeah. 964 00:41:49,065 --> 00:41:51,845 So that, I think that's been the most gratifying change. 965 00:41:52,245 --> 00:41:55,925 'cause there were absolutely times early 966 00:41:56,545 --> 00:41:57,765 on when, oh, 967 00:41:57,875 --> 00:41:59,885 that 13-year-old just make you wanna pinch their 968 00:41:59,885 --> 00:42:00,925 little fucking heads off. 969 00:42:00,985 --> 00:42:05,125 Anyway, I love my children. Um, where I worried I did worry. 970 00:42:05,205 --> 00:42:07,645 I was like, how do we get through these hard years 971 00:42:07,645 --> 00:42:10,365 of parenting when we cannot get on the same page 972 00:42:10,995 --> 00:42:14,125 when you were still stuck in that old way? 973 00:42:14,785 --> 00:42:15,845 And I promise you, y'all, 974 00:42:15,845 --> 00:42:17,965 I'm not saying my way is right or perfect all the time. 975 00:42:17,965 --> 00:42:18,925 Mm-Hmm. . But I just knew there 976 00:42:18,925 --> 00:42:20,005 had to be another fucking way. 977 00:42:20,565 --> 00:42:23,405 I was apparently gentle slash conscious parenting 978 00:42:23,405 --> 00:42:24,605 before there was a term for it. 979 00:42:24,605 --> 00:42:25,685 Like, I just went, okay, 980 00:42:25,685 --> 00:42:28,005 this is a little human being in front of me. 981 00:42:28,025 --> 00:42:30,085 And so I will treat that little human being 982 00:42:30,105 --> 00:42:32,485 as if they are a human being worthy of respect. 983 00:42:32,615 --> 00:42:34,005 Let's just have a conversation. 984 00:42:34,465 --> 00:42:36,325 The turning point for you is when I went, 985 00:42:36,325 --> 00:42:37,365 whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 986 00:42:38,025 --> 00:42:39,245 If this was me and you, 987 00:42:40,305 --> 00:42:43,085 we would use our communication skills to talk it through. 988 00:42:44,265 --> 00:42:48,125 Why do our communication skills not apply over here? Yeah. 989 00:42:48,265 --> 00:42:49,765 In a different way. Age appropriate. Mm-Hmm. . 990 00:42:50,105 --> 00:42:51,325 And then I, I feel like 991 00:42:51,325 --> 00:42:52,605 that was a light bulb moment for you. 992 00:42:53,105 --> 00:42:55,645 It was, it's all still, we're still, it was trial and error. 993 00:42:55,645 --> 00:42:56,725 Mm-Hmm. . And we still fuck it up 994 00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:59,365 and, you know, have to apologize for shit and whatever. 995 00:42:59,385 --> 00:43:01,965 But yeah, that's the thing. I feel like I've seen you change 996 00:43:02,065 --> 00:43:04,475 the most and I love it. 997 00:43:04,695 --> 00:43:08,355 I'm grateful for it makes me feel less alone 998 00:43:08,355 --> 00:43:10,435 because that would be really hard if we were trying 999 00:43:10,435 --> 00:43:11,995 to parent in completely different ways. 1000 00:43:11,995 --> 00:43:12,995 Mm-Hmm. that are in 1001 00:43:12,995 --> 00:43:14,195 direct opposition to one another. 1002 00:43:14,355 --> 00:43:18,955 I just, um, I will wait for you 1003 00:43:18,955 --> 00:43:21,355 to come back after you let miss thing out the back door. 1004 00:43:21,615 --> 00:43:24,795 I'm just grateful she's not a wooing in the background. I'm 1005 00:43:24,915 --> 00:43:25,915 - Shocked. 1006 00:43:25,915 --> 00:43:26,915 But then again, if I'd waited much longer, 1007 00:43:27,175 --> 00:43:28,355 - She would have, I would be Yes. 1008 00:43:28,495 --> 00:43:31,475 Yes. She's royalty. She does not open her own doors. 1009 00:43:31,575 --> 00:43:33,675 She should not have to wait for anybody. Right. 1010 00:43:34,015 --> 00:43:36,515 If she has to call out for us, we have failed. 1011 00:43:37,105 --> 00:43:38,435 - Yeah. As - Per servant. 1012 00:43:39,195 --> 00:43:40,955 - Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. 1013 00:43:42,345 --> 00:43:43,995 - Okay. I'm afraid of this one. 1014 00:43:44,895 --> 00:43:47,435 If there's one thing you wish people knew about 1015 00:43:47,495 --> 00:43:48,835 me, what would it be? 1016 00:43:50,275 --> 00:43:50,395 - Hmm. 1017 00:43:56,215 --> 00:43:58,475 You know, this, this was one of those questions where, 1018 00:44:00,575 --> 00:44:02,595 you know, I saw it when you showed me these 1019 00:44:02,655 --> 00:44:05,875 and I'm like, oh my gosh, what do I, 1020 00:44:08,015 --> 00:44:12,355 and, and I, I think what I, I am gonna end up going with 1021 00:44:13,255 --> 00:44:15,795 is, and, and gonna remove the, 1022 00:44:15,975 --> 00:44:17,835 the online community from this. 1023 00:44:18,815 --> 00:44:23,275 And I, I think that, um, 1024 00:44:24,175 --> 00:44:27,475 you know, when it comes to in-person 1025 00:44:29,345 --> 00:44:32,565 community, you know, some of the times that you have, uh, 1026 00:44:32,675 --> 00:44:34,525 come out with me, you know, in had 1027 00:44:34,525 --> 00:44:36,005 - Been so awkward, , 1028 00:44:37,145 --> 00:44:41,765 - And, and I just wish, you know, that 1029 00:44:44,425 --> 00:44:47,965 people, uh, would understand that you, 1030 00:44:48,905 --> 00:44:50,885 you know, can be funny. 1031 00:44:50,905 --> 00:44:54,005 You're witty and, and you're interesting to talk to. 1032 00:44:57,585 --> 00:45:01,165 And, and you know, when, when we're out, 1033 00:45:01,495 --> 00:45:05,565 other than when we're doing an event, so to speak Mm-Hmm. 1034 00:45:05,605 --> 00:45:07,565 , you know, for, for the kry 1035 00:45:07,565 --> 00:45:10,285 or something like that, you know, when you're, 1036 00:45:10,315 --> 00:45:12,925 when you're doing that, you're very energized. 1037 00:45:13,295 --> 00:45:14,605 - Right. It's performative. Okay. 1038 00:45:14,665 --> 00:45:16,965 I'm, I'm, I'm Kayla Lord's performing so 1039 00:45:16,965 --> 00:45:18,205 that you'll please buy something for us 1040 00:45:18,405 --> 00:45:19,405 - . 1041 00:45:19,405 --> 00:45:21,125 And, and, you know, and when we're, you know, just going out 1042 00:45:21,125 --> 00:45:23,005 for the sake of going out, you'll not like that. 1043 00:45:23,785 --> 00:45:26,085 So that's why I say I, I think you know 1044 00:45:27,315 --> 00:45:29,325 that people would understand that, you know, 1045 00:45:30,195 --> 00:45:31,485 - Here, and here's, and this is, 1046 00:45:31,845 --> 00:45:33,325 I probably need literal years of therapy. 1047 00:45:34,035 --> 00:45:37,965 Part of it is this is who, this is a version of who I am. 1048 00:45:37,995 --> 00:45:40,685 This is a true to me. My kink self is my truest self. 1049 00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:45,525 So what y'all get to see in here is of still filtered. 1050 00:45:45,525 --> 00:45:48,285 Like I'm not, I'm an adult 1051 00:45:48,285 --> 00:45:49,885 who understands a little bit about the internet. 1052 00:45:49,915 --> 00:45:53,525 There's still a filter, but it is mostly exactly who I am. 1053 00:45:53,825 --> 00:45:55,925 JB gets to see the full unfiltered thing. . 1054 00:45:55,925 --> 00:45:58,245 That's why his hair has grayed so much. Um, 1055 00:45:59,195 --> 00:46:00,195 - Yeah. 1056 00:46:00,195 --> 00:46:04,005 - But in person, first of all, I always kind of go, 1057 00:46:05,925 --> 00:46:08,925 I don't think the in-person community really wants me 1058 00:46:08,925 --> 00:46:10,405 to show up as Kayla Lords. 1059 00:46:10,645 --> 00:46:12,325 'cause Kayla Lords has shit to say 1060 00:46:12,785 --> 00:46:15,285 and just is happy to just be allowed to talk. 1061 00:46:15,385 --> 00:46:17,325 She doesn't actually need your feedback. 1062 00:46:17,325 --> 00:46:19,445 She'll take it later when she has time to process it. 1063 00:46:19,985 --> 00:46:22,125 And I can, I can fucking take over. 1064 00:46:22,385 --> 00:46:23,725 And so I, part of it is, 1065 00:46:23,725 --> 00:46:27,485 I don't wanna disrespect another community leader's space 1066 00:46:27,665 --> 00:46:30,765 and their, what they're trying to do by fucking taking over. 1067 00:46:31,385 --> 00:46:36,285 Um, but two, I also still have this thing 1068 00:46:36,285 --> 00:46:38,685 that I've had my whole fucking life. 1069 00:46:39,315 --> 00:46:43,685 That my truest self is too much. It's a lot. 1070 00:46:43,955 --> 00:46:45,245 It's, it's a lot. Y'all, 1071 00:46:45,245 --> 00:46:46,885 y'all get it in the doses that you want. 1072 00:46:46,885 --> 00:46:47,925 When I'm too much for you, 1073 00:46:47,925 --> 00:46:49,685 you can fucking turn me off and come back later. 1074 00:46:49,695 --> 00:46:51,685 Right? You can go, okay, not this fucking week. 1075 00:46:51,685 --> 00:46:53,365 We'll try again next week. And, and that's fine. 1076 00:46:53,435 --> 00:46:56,005 Like, I don't, I don't mind, like I kinda wish I could do 1077 00:46:56,005 --> 00:46:58,005 that to people and be like, okay, I'm, I'm good now. 1078 00:46:58,025 --> 00:46:59,685 I'm gonna walk away. Maybe that is 1079 00:46:59,845 --> 00:47:02,645 what I do when I don't text my family back anyway. 1080 00:47:03,045 --> 00:47:07,245 . Um, but I, I still have this internal thing of 1081 00:47:07,905 --> 00:47:09,005 you're gonna be too much. 1082 00:47:09,625 --> 00:47:12,045 People are gonna be overwhelmed and not in a good way. 1083 00:47:12,305 --> 00:47:13,685 People will see the real you 1084 00:47:13,785 --> 00:47:16,485 and then they get to have form a real opinion about you. 1085 00:47:16,485 --> 00:47:18,205 If you do not see the real me, 1086 00:47:18,235 --> 00:47:20,165 then your opinion of me doesn't matter. 1087 00:47:20,325 --> 00:47:21,765 'cause I know I haven't let you see it. Right? 1088 00:47:22,225 --> 00:47:24,965 So being out in person with her under my legal name 1089 00:47:25,105 --> 00:47:27,885 or as Kayla Lords, if I am reserved, 1090 00:47:27,885 --> 00:47:29,220 you're gonna think what you're gonna gonna think. 1091 00:47:29,220 --> 00:47:30,250 And it'll still bother me. 1092 00:47:30,365 --> 00:47:32,085 'cause I will absolutely go, oh my God, they think I'm 1093 00:47:32,085 --> 00:47:33,485 so awkward and I'm so standoffish 1094 00:47:33,485 --> 00:47:34,925 and I'm not trying to be, I just don't 1095 00:47:34,925 --> 00:47:35,965 know how to people sometimes. 1096 00:47:36,825 --> 00:47:39,125 Um, and I can handle that. 1097 00:47:39,285 --> 00:47:42,245 'cause I know it's not based on real information about me. 1098 00:47:42,585 --> 00:47:45,885 But if I show up publicly as all, well this 1099 00:47:47,795 --> 00:47:50,645 then I, I who amm constantly watching people 1100 00:47:51,265 --> 00:47:52,605 and I'm hyper aware. 1101 00:47:52,915 --> 00:47:54,405 Like I know where it comes from. 1102 00:47:54,445 --> 00:47:58,085 I know I do it, but then I get to see when people go, 1103 00:47:58,345 --> 00:48:00,085 oh no, I don't like that. 1104 00:48:00,145 --> 00:48:02,365 Or I get to see when people go, oh, this, I'm overwhelmed 1105 00:48:02,365 --> 00:48:03,965 by the like, and I, I just, 1106 00:48:06,405 --> 00:48:09,525 I am not mentally well enough to handle that. 1107 00:48:10,005 --> 00:48:14,285 I wish I was, I would love to fucking show up as my, my 1108 00:48:14,825 --> 00:48:16,045 mostly full self. 1109 00:48:16,045 --> 00:48:17,285 Like, there's always gonna be part of me 1110 00:48:17,285 --> 00:48:19,725 that I hold back just for JB or sometimes just for myself. 1111 00:48:19,725 --> 00:48:21,325 Like, we all get that. I, 1112 00:48:21,385 --> 00:48:24,565 but I'm, I have not yet become brave enough. 1113 00:48:24,885 --> 00:48:27,445 I can do it. Ask k the Lords if I got the mic, 1114 00:48:27,585 --> 00:48:29,325 if I'm the one standing in front of you. 1115 00:48:29,625 --> 00:48:32,805 And the whole point is you are sitting there listening to me 1116 00:48:32,805 --> 00:48:34,125 and you are meant to be there. 1117 00:48:34,565 --> 00:48:36,005 I can do it because then I'm like, 1118 00:48:36,005 --> 00:48:37,765 I feel like I'm in control of this situation. 1119 00:48:38,105 --> 00:48:40,565 You will walk away and think what you think. That's fine. 1120 00:48:41,225 --> 00:48:45,485 But this is me controlling as much as I can about that. 1121 00:48:45,715 --> 00:48:50,125 Yeah. And yeah. Do I need a therapist again? Of course I do. 1122 00:48:50,445 --> 00:48:52,405 . Of course I do. I'm aware. 1123 00:48:53,305 --> 00:48:58,045 Um, so what is something I wish people knew about you? 1124 00:49:06,015 --> 00:49:07,645 Y'all know this. I think so. 1125 00:49:07,755 --> 00:49:10,765 Like you, I'm gonna take our online community out of this. 1126 00:49:10,925 --> 00:49:13,325 'cause I think y'all get glimpses of this very often. 1127 00:49:15,325 --> 00:49:18,365 I wish more people understood just how playful 1128 00:49:18,365 --> 00:49:20,805 and silly you are. 1129 00:49:21,565 --> 00:49:25,285 I want to talk, y'all can accuse me of ratting all you want. 1130 00:49:25,725 --> 00:49:28,685 , false lies, 1131 00:49:31,375 --> 00:49:32,445 libel, defamation. 1132 00:49:32,545 --> 00:49:36,525 Who do I have to sue? But you have a cheeky braddy 1133 00:49:37,105 --> 00:49:39,725 little like side to you that is, 1134 00:49:40,125 --> 00:49:41,405 I mean, is it sometimes torture? 1135 00:49:41,685 --> 00:49:43,565 'cause I'm like, oh my God, he's stronger than me. 1136 00:49:43,785 --> 00:49:45,245 Can I get away from this ? 1137 00:49:46,505 --> 00:49:48,045 But it's also fucking delightful. 1138 00:49:48,285 --> 00:49:52,325 'cause your, your eyes get like, they light up like 1139 00:49:52,325 --> 00:49:57,165 with glee, with sadistic glee and you'll giggle 1140 00:49:57,465 --> 00:50:01,285 and you'll, you'll, I mean, you are not thankfully the type 1141 00:50:01,465 --> 00:50:05,405 of dominant in a kink space that you, I don't get the vibe 1142 00:50:05,405 --> 00:50:06,445 that you feel like you need 1143 00:50:06,445 --> 00:50:08,445 to project an air of anything quite frankly. 1144 00:50:08,445 --> 00:50:09,925 Mm-Hmm. I think too many people overlook you 1145 00:50:09,925 --> 00:50:12,445 because you are fairly quiet and laid back. 1146 00:50:12,445 --> 00:50:13,925 Mm-Hmm. . And you do not feel like you 1147 00:50:13,925 --> 00:50:15,085 need to lead a conversation. 1148 00:50:15,505 --> 00:50:17,925 Why would he have to? He has me. Okay. . 1149 00:50:19,235 --> 00:50:21,285 It's a service I provide anyway, . 1150 00:50:22,305 --> 00:50:23,845 Um, except when I'm feeling awkward 1151 00:50:23,845 --> 00:50:25,285 and we're in person, but whatever, whatever. 1152 00:50:27,025 --> 00:50:30,565 But you still, when people know that you are a dom, 1153 00:50:30,565 --> 00:50:33,685 they see you through whatever their lens of dominance means. 1154 00:50:33,685 --> 00:50:35,845 Right. And so they see you being quiet. Mm-Hmm. 1155 00:50:35,885 --> 00:50:37,045 . So they might think, oh, he's the strong 1156 00:50:37,045 --> 00:50:38,045 silent type he is. 1157 00:50:38,235 --> 00:50:40,845 Okay. He does not have near as much to say as I do. 1158 00:50:41,175 --> 00:50:42,965 Thank God we could not deal 1159 00:50:42,965 --> 00:50:45,885 with it if we were both at this level together all the time. 1160 00:50:46,505 --> 00:50:49,645 Um, but there are times you do right? Like you Mm-Hmm. 1161 00:50:49,685 --> 00:50:51,565 , you let your silly side come out. 1162 00:50:51,565 --> 00:50:53,245 You let your playful side come out. 1163 00:50:53,345 --> 00:50:57,125 You let the very mischievous side of yourself come out and 1164 00:50:57,195 --> 00:50:58,195 - It's not Oh yeah. 1165 00:50:58,195 --> 00:50:59,725 And I, I, I do tend to bring 1166 00:50:59,725 --> 00:51:01,325 that out in, in a number of ways. 1167 00:51:01,485 --> 00:51:05,365 I mean, I've um, often been joking lately about 1168 00:51:05,385 --> 00:51:07,805 how I very easily be a, a bratty daddy. 1169 00:51:08,185 --> 00:51:09,765 - Yes. I made the shirt just for you. Yeah. 1170 00:51:09,805 --> 00:51:10,925 I need to order it for you. But still 1171 00:51:11,085 --> 00:51:12,085 - . 1172 00:51:12,085 --> 00:51:13,805 Oh, okay. Alright. You know, you can be a 1173 00:51:13,805 --> 00:51:17,765 - Bratty daddy - And, and you know, at, at times even, um, 1174 00:51:18,225 --> 00:51:19,965 you know, I've em embraced the fact 1175 00:51:19,965 --> 00:51:22,005 that I am a smart ass sadist. 1176 00:51:23,305 --> 00:51:24,925 - Yes. Yes. - . 1177 00:51:26,665 --> 00:51:30,165 - Yes. I think that people see you as being quiet and, 1178 00:51:30,305 --> 00:51:33,125 and they think they, they kind of dismiss you in their minds 1179 00:51:33,185 --> 00:51:34,645 or that you're unassuming and it's like, 1180 00:51:34,925 --> 00:51:36,805 actually just scratch the surface just a little bit. 1181 00:51:36,995 --> 00:51:41,005 Okay. He will quote all the song lyrics at you 1182 00:51:41,505 --> 00:51:43,325 and tell you what years those albums came out. 1183 00:51:43,325 --> 00:51:44,845 And did he go to their concert and Yes. 1184 00:51:44,845 --> 00:51:46,045 And does he have the T-shirt? Sure. 1185 00:51:46,605 --> 00:51:48,605 , um, like, 1186 00:51:49,105 --> 00:51:51,005 - And in some cases still have the ticket stubs. 1187 00:51:51,805 --> 00:51:54,605 - I know think he's not a hoarder, 1188 00:51:54,605 --> 00:51:55,885 but he could, he could be . 1189 00:51:56,185 --> 00:51:59,925 Um, but yeah, like there's a side to you that, 1190 00:52:00,635 --> 00:52:03,565 that the, the non kink world almost never gets to see. 1191 00:52:03,565 --> 00:52:04,605 Mm-Hmm. . Which is fine. 1192 00:52:04,635 --> 00:52:06,565 Most of our world is kinky. Yeah. 1193 00:52:06,785 --> 00:52:10,685 Um, and I think that people who are super close 1194 00:52:10,685 --> 00:52:12,565 to you in your kink world get to see bits of it. 1195 00:52:12,605 --> 00:52:14,245 I get to see most of it. 'cause I I'm gonna live with you. 1196 00:52:14,265 --> 00:52:16,645 I'm married to you. We look at one another every day. Yeah. 1197 00:52:16,645 --> 00:52:17,925 Right. Um, 1198 00:52:18,385 --> 00:52:21,445 but I just kind of wish more people, one part of it's 1199 00:52:21,565 --> 00:52:23,725 'cause I want more people to understand that dominance, 1200 00:52:24,025 --> 00:52:25,405 big D dominance is not, 1201 00:52:25,665 --> 00:52:27,245 I'm gonna stand here and kind of glare a little 1202 00:52:27,245 --> 00:52:28,245 - Bit. 1203 00:52:28,245 --> 00:52:29,285 It's, I've got nothing to say. It's not luster and Yeah. 1204 00:52:29,425 --> 00:52:31,085 - Ugh. No, that would be such a turn off to me. 1205 00:52:31,545 --> 00:52:32,565 It is such a turn off to me. 1206 00:52:32,675 --> 00:52:36,525 It's, it's the quiet confidence, which you, you do have. 1207 00:52:36,545 --> 00:52:38,165 And I think people who are attuned to that, 1208 00:52:38,165 --> 00:52:39,285 they see that Mm-Hmm. 1209 00:52:39,325 --> 00:52:42,365 , but then they don't see, oh my god, 1210 00:52:42,475 --> 00:52:45,605 this little devilish grin and then giggle 1211 00:52:45,785 --> 00:52:47,685 and then you follow that up with action 1212 00:52:47,745 --> 00:52:49,965 and it's like, this is delightful. 1213 00:52:49,965 --> 00:52:52,565 But also this is physically painful. . 1214 00:52:52,745 --> 00:52:55,365 I'm not sure I can handle it, 1215 00:52:55,425 --> 00:52:57,925 but you're having a good time. So let's 1216 00:52:57,925 --> 00:52:58,925 - Keep going. 1217 00:52:58,925 --> 00:52:59,525 . 1218 00:52:59,865 --> 00:53:03,685 - Um, . So yeah. 1219 00:53:04,925 --> 00:53:09,245 - . Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. 1220 00:53:09,955 --> 00:53:12,045 Next. Is this Okay. Alright. 1221 00:53:12,195 --> 00:53:13,565 This is the last question 1222 00:53:13,985 --> 00:53:15,165 and that's why these were like 1223 00:53:15,345 --> 00:53:16,885 so random to me because Mm-Hmm. 1224 00:53:16,925 --> 00:53:18,165 . Mm-Hmm. , they didn't seem 1225 00:53:18,165 --> 00:53:20,445 to have like a, a path we were going down 1226 00:53:20,445 --> 00:53:21,565 and then it just ends here. 1227 00:53:21,705 --> 00:53:25,485 So, and I would love to hear this 1228 00:53:26,785 --> 00:53:29,205 as your sassy baby girl. 1229 00:53:29,265 --> 00:53:31,125 - Mm-Hmm. . - What would a day 1230 00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:33,805 of completely spoiling me look like? 1231 00:53:35,245 --> 00:53:36,765 - Hmm. Okay. 1232 00:53:37,865 --> 00:53:41,805 Um, it would start out 1233 00:53:42,035 --> 00:53:46,525 with a special coffee from our favorite local place. 1234 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:50,285 - Oh - Yeah. Okay. Mm-Hmm mm-Hmm. 1235 00:53:50,325 --> 00:53:51,325 , you know, 'cause that that's 1236 00:53:51,405 --> 00:53:52,445 a, that's a real, 1237 00:53:52,515 --> 00:53:54,925 - It's it's an $8 fucking coffee too. So that's being 1238 00:53:55,315 --> 00:53:56,315 - Well worth it. 1239 00:53:56,315 --> 00:53:57,405 Well worth it. But yeah, 1240 00:53:57,405 --> 00:53:58,725 it's not something you wanna do every day. 1241 00:53:59,585 --> 00:54:01,365 Um, and, 1242 00:54:03,065 --> 00:54:06,685 and I think I would have a spa 1243 00:54:06,705 --> 00:54:09,485 day, you know. 1244 00:54:09,675 --> 00:54:11,045 Okay. Massage. 1245 00:54:11,365 --> 00:54:12,365 - I didn't have to schedule it. 1246 00:54:12,705 --> 00:54:13,885 - No, - I didn't have to pay for it. 1247 00:54:14,065 --> 00:54:15,525 - No. Okay. - I'm here for it. 1248 00:54:15,765 --> 00:54:20,205 - . Okay. You know, the massage, the, the pedicure, 1249 00:54:20,465 --> 00:54:22,325 the whole, okay. 1250 00:54:22,325 --> 00:54:25,245 Alright. And uh, then 1251 00:54:26,485 --> 00:54:28,165 a diet Coke from your 1252 00:54:29,165 --> 00:54:32,365 favorite fountain place. 1253 00:54:32,945 --> 00:54:33,925 - See, it kills me. 'cause I 1254 00:54:33,925 --> 00:54:36,125 wish McDonald's could have the good ice. Like I just need, 1255 00:54:36,865 --> 00:54:38,605 - You want the ice of one in the, 1256 00:54:38,905 --> 00:54:40,445 the diet coke of the other? 1257 00:54:40,515 --> 00:54:41,805 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1258 00:54:42,105 --> 00:54:43,605 - And then I need it to be as gigantic 1259 00:54:43,705 --> 00:54:45,965 as you can get from like Circle K or Wawa. 1260 00:54:45,965 --> 00:54:48,165 Like Yeah. It needs to be bigger than my head. Yeah. 1261 00:54:48,705 --> 00:54:51,325 - And, uh, then, then take you out for a nibble. 1262 00:54:51,645 --> 00:54:53,765 Whatever you were inclined to nibble on. Well, don't make 1263 00:54:53,765 --> 00:54:54,765 - Me figure it out. 1264 00:54:55,335 --> 00:54:56,445 Don't make me make a decision. 1265 00:54:57,955 --> 00:54:59,965 - Okay. I'll spin the wheel. Oh, 1266 00:55:00,025 --> 00:55:01,025 - Not the fucking wheel. 1267 00:55:01,445 --> 00:55:04,805 - . And uh, 1268 00:55:06,555 --> 00:55:07,765 then take you to the library 1269 00:55:07,865 --> 00:55:09,765 and just push you out the car and have a good time. 1270 00:55:09,895 --> 00:55:12,085 Enjoy. Find some books, , 1271 00:55:12,765 --> 00:55:13,765 - I mean, yeah. 1272 00:55:13,785 --> 00:55:15,645 - Or a bookstore. Barnes and Noble, you know? 1273 00:55:15,995 --> 00:55:17,245 - Yeah, yeah. 1274 00:55:17,425 --> 00:55:20,005 Or just like handing my phone, open my Kindle app 1275 00:55:20,005 --> 00:55:21,085 and just sit me in the corner. 1276 00:55:21,085 --> 00:55:23,685 Yeah. You go read those bear shifters. Maybe I'll just read 1277 00:55:23,735 --> 00:55:25,045 - About those - Bear shifters. 1278 00:55:25,365 --> 00:55:28,165 - - And the wolf shifters and the dragon shifter. 1279 00:55:28,165 --> 00:55:30,405 Yeah. I'm, I'm a shifter kind of girl. That's my jam. 1280 00:55:30,405 --> 00:55:31,365 But yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I get 1281 00:55:31,365 --> 00:55:32,125 what I get what you're saying. 1282 00:55:32,245 --> 00:55:34,565 I get what you're saying. Yeah. Um, I need to know, 1283 00:55:34,955 --> 00:55:37,645 will there be study impact in my life on 1284 00:55:37,645 --> 00:55:38,805 this day of being spoiled? 1285 00:55:38,835 --> 00:55:41,525 - That, that would be another way to, uh, yeah. Mm-Hmm. 1286 00:55:41,565 --> 00:55:42,885 . Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Mm-Hmm. 1287 00:55:42,925 --> 00:55:44,565 . Yep. Yep. 1288 00:55:45,425 --> 00:55:46,845 - So that, that's my day. That's 1289 00:55:46,845 --> 00:55:47,365 - Your day. I'm 1290 00:55:47,365 --> 00:55:48,365 - Here for it. 1291 00:55:48,365 --> 00:55:49,365 Okay. Here for it. Alright. 1292 00:55:49,685 --> 00:55:52,005 I am, um, I can't, there's a term for the type 1293 00:55:52,005 --> 00:55:53,765 of person this is, and I can't remember what it is, 1294 00:55:53,765 --> 00:55:56,565 but I'm, I'm that often that type of person who's like, 1295 00:55:56,565 --> 00:55:58,525 please don't tell me the good thing that I can't have. 1296 00:55:58,845 --> 00:56:00,605 'cause then I have to realize that there's a good 1297 00:56:00,605 --> 00:56:01,685 thing that I just can't 1298 00:56:02,005 --> 00:56:03,005 - . 1299 00:56:03,585 --> 00:56:05,485 - But I know that I can have a trip to the library 1300 00:56:05,665 --> 00:56:06,805 or the freedom to read my book 1301 00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:07,965 and I know I can have a diet coke. 1302 00:56:07,965 --> 00:56:09,365 Mm-Hmm. . So I can still get some of it. 1303 00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:12,605 And the study impact. Okay. So spoiling you. Mm-Hmm. 1304 00:56:12,645 --> 00:56:15,565 hilariously. And not at all shocking. 1305 00:56:16,305 --> 00:56:17,965 The first is the iced coffee 1306 00:56:18,025 --> 00:56:20,485 for you from the special place we never go to. 1307 00:56:20,485 --> 00:56:22,805 Right. Because it is so fucking expensive. . 1308 00:56:22,985 --> 00:56:26,205 Um, so good. Could we get a small coffee and save? Sure. 1309 00:56:26,225 --> 00:56:27,805 But why would we do that? Who gets a small coffee? 1310 00:56:28,345 --> 00:56:30,845 Um, so yes, we're absolutely, 1311 00:56:30,905 --> 00:56:32,325 - One sip is just a tease. Oh 1312 00:56:32,465 --> 00:56:33,465 - God. 1313 00:56:33,465 --> 00:56:35,805 So we're absolutely getting the, the special coffee. Mm-Hmm. 1314 00:56:35,845 --> 00:56:39,125 for you. I'm part of it is 1315 00:56:39,605 --> 00:56:41,485 'cause I, I already kind of try to do this 1316 00:56:41,585 --> 00:56:44,045 and I have to like, actually do what you want 1317 00:56:44,065 --> 00:56:45,085 and can't just decide. 1318 00:56:45,845 --> 00:56:47,965 I would want to get things done. 1319 00:56:48,065 --> 00:56:50,005 So you don't have to do any of them like Mm-Hmm. 1320 00:56:50,005 --> 00:56:53,125 Your responsibilities. So, um, you would not do laundry. 1321 00:56:53,725 --> 00:56:55,605 I would do all the laundry and put it away. Mm-Hmm. 1322 00:56:55,605 --> 00:56:58,285 You would not have to cook or do dishes. I would do both. 1323 00:56:58,285 --> 00:57:01,045 Like, I want to get as much done for you. 1324 00:57:01,265 --> 00:57:03,245 So you have the freedom of not doing that. 1325 00:57:03,965 --> 00:57:06,165 I know at some point I need to, like, 1326 00:57:06,165 --> 00:57:08,285 you're gonna shove me in a library or a bookstore. 1327 00:57:09,025 --> 00:57:12,365 I'm gonna sit you down and let you put your music on 1328 00:57:12,365 --> 00:57:14,205 and be like, sing to your heart's content. 1329 00:57:14,565 --> 00:57:17,205 . Uh, here's your favorite game 1330 00:57:17,265 --> 00:57:18,685 to play while you zone out. 1331 00:57:18,805 --> 00:57:19,725 Mm-Hmm. have your time. Mm-Hmm. . 1332 00:57:19,725 --> 00:57:21,365 That's gonna be part of it. Um, 1333 00:57:21,905 --> 00:57:24,205 I'm absolutely either gonna cook you some food 1334 00:57:24,225 --> 00:57:28,045 or take you someplace to eat, but you're my daddy do. 1335 00:57:28,105 --> 00:57:30,885 So you have to decide. Oops. Sorry. You have to decide. You. 1336 00:57:31,085 --> 00:57:32,325 I can't, like, you gotta tell me 1337 00:57:32,325 --> 00:57:33,405 where you want to go or what you want to eat. 1338 00:57:33,975 --> 00:57:36,045 Panos, there we go. Hang on. See? 1339 00:57:36,545 --> 00:57:38,485 Um, and I know you're gonna get a calzone. 1340 00:57:38,685 --> 00:57:40,245 I know how you are. . 1341 00:57:41,145 --> 00:57:44,605 Um, there would be more than one iced coffee in the day. 1342 00:57:45,395 --> 00:57:46,925 This man does not just have one 1343 00:57:47,035 --> 00:57:48,205 iced coffee or fucking gimme. 1344 00:57:48,865 --> 00:57:50,685 Um, and then there would be a kink scene, 1345 00:57:51,785 --> 00:57:54,445 but I again, would not plan that. 1346 00:57:54,635 --> 00:57:56,405 Yeah. That is, that is not what we do 1347 00:57:56,405 --> 00:57:57,365 - Here. But you'd be offering it up. 1348 00:57:57,645 --> 00:57:58,805 - I would be offering it up. 1349 00:57:59,145 --> 00:58:04,125 And I would let you know that the only toy slash sensations 1350 00:58:04,675 --> 00:58:08,485 that are needed are your preferred. 1351 00:58:09,545 --> 00:58:12,845 So it would be the stingy, the Bernie, the, oh my God, 1352 00:58:12,885 --> 00:58:14,325 I don't know if I can handle this anymore. 1353 00:58:14,765 --> 00:58:17,885 . Um, because I know that even with all of 1354 00:58:17,885 --> 00:58:20,325 that freedom, you're still, you're not gonna like take, 1355 00:58:20,715 --> 00:58:23,685 have me be done in five minutes up and at my limit 1356 00:58:23,785 --> 00:58:24,805 and I'm safe wording out. 1357 00:58:25,025 --> 00:58:27,405 You're gonna like, take care of me in that. 1358 00:58:27,705 --> 00:58:30,045 But it's gonna be like, it's not gonna be any of me whining. 1359 00:58:30,045 --> 00:58:31,765 Where's the th panel? 1360 00:58:31,945 --> 00:58:33,965 And don't, why don't you love me ? 1361 00:58:33,965 --> 00:58:36,365 Unless I thought that I would, you would enjoy 1362 00:58:36,365 --> 00:58:37,485 that and then I would give that to you. 1363 00:58:37,485 --> 00:58:38,685 But like, you're a bastard, 1364 00:58:38,745 --> 00:58:41,165 but I love you , um, . 1365 00:58:41,865 --> 00:58:42,885 So yeah, that's Mm-Hmm. 1366 00:58:42,925 --> 00:58:44,005 , that's kind of how I, I 1367 00:58:44,005 --> 00:58:45,365 feel like that would go Mm-Hmm. . Okay. 1368 00:58:45,515 --> 00:58:46,765 - Yeah. And you know, you could throw 1369 00:58:46,805 --> 00:58:47,845 a record shop in there too. 1370 00:58:48,145 --> 00:58:51,205 - Oh God. Oh. Oh. And technically we call it the vape shop, 1371 00:58:51,205 --> 00:58:54,325 but yeah, it's the THC Delta eight shop. 1372 00:58:54,325 --> 00:58:55,925 Come on now. . Um, yeah. 1373 00:58:55,945 --> 00:58:57,965 And then you would absolutely need to smoke a, 1374 00:58:57,965 --> 00:58:59,125 like a, a big bowl. 1375 00:58:59,155 --> 00:59:01,565 Like just don't, don't . I know. 1376 00:59:01,745 --> 00:59:03,525 You ration your stuff out 1377 00:59:03,585 --> 00:59:04,965 so it will last as long as possible. 1378 00:59:04,965 --> 00:59:06,405 Yeah. And I know why we do that. Okay. 1379 00:59:06,405 --> 00:59:09,045 We are broke ass bitches. But, uh, , 1380 00:59:09,885 --> 00:59:11,205 I would be like, no, no, no, no, no. 1381 00:59:11,705 --> 00:59:15,965 We will replenish. Smoke a big one. Have a good time. 1382 00:59:16,265 --> 00:59:17,725 Mm-Hmm. . Uh, I also, 1383 00:59:17,885 --> 00:59:19,085 'cause you told me how you do this, I'd be like, 1384 00:59:19,085 --> 00:59:20,525 and here's a gummy . 1385 00:59:20,955 --> 00:59:25,645 Keep having a good time. . Mm-Hmm. . 1386 00:59:25,645 --> 00:59:29,125 Mm-Hmm. . Now if we are in fantasy realm of, 1387 00:59:29,515 --> 00:59:32,725 because that is fantasy 'cause we're broke ass bitches. 1388 00:59:32,825 --> 00:59:34,045 But that is doable. 1389 00:59:34,045 --> 00:59:37,545 We could achieve that if the money Gods favorite us. Mm-Hmm. 1390 00:59:37,585 --> 00:59:40,785 . But the fantasy, fantasy of being spoiled. 1391 00:59:41,245 --> 00:59:44,425 Oh, it's a, a kinky fuckery scene. 1392 00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:49,025 Uh, there's two, I'm I'm being double domed here. 1393 00:59:49,025 --> 00:59:50,745 Double topped, however you wanna look at it. Mm. 1394 00:59:51,325 --> 00:59:55,785 Um, things are going in probably all of the aura fists 1395 00:59:55,785 --> 00:59:57,705 or phi or facade . 1396 00:59:57,705 --> 00:59:59,825 I don't know how to, how the plural of an orifice. 1397 01:00:00,365 --> 01:00:04,985 Um, and you are like controlling it all , 1398 01:00:05,655 --> 01:00:07,865 like a sadistic conductor. 1399 01:00:08,485 --> 01:00:12,465 Um, and all of my favorite songs are like on the playlist 1400 01:00:12,765 --> 01:00:14,225 for, for singing, music. 1401 01:00:14,485 --> 01:00:16,825 All my favorites are there. And I think we would both be 1402 01:00:16,825 --> 01:00:17,865 mutually spoiled Yeah. 1403 01:00:17,895 --> 01:00:20,625 With that. Yeah. That one is definitely more in the realm 1404 01:00:20,625 --> 01:00:21,625 of pure fantasy 1405 01:00:21,625 --> 01:00:25,105 because this anxious bitch took six months 1406 01:00:25,165 --> 01:00:27,905 to let this man in the walls enough to see her naked. 1407 01:00:28,225 --> 01:00:32,225 I don't know, how we find people 1408 01:00:32,245 --> 01:00:37,065 who will put up with the, uh, whatever, whatever it is 1409 01:00:37,065 --> 01:00:38,345 that I need to feel comfortable 1410 01:00:38,805 --> 01:00:40,905 to get at least close enough to be part of the scene. 1411 01:00:41,085 --> 01:00:43,225 But, and then to do all of the 1412 01:00:44,775 --> 01:00:46,185 sexy fucky kry. 1413 01:00:46,335 --> 01:00:48,305 Like what are words anymore? Those things. Those things. 1414 01:00:48,425 --> 01:00:49,465 I don't know how that would ever happen. 1415 01:00:49,465 --> 01:00:51,985 That is, I feel like we would be spoiling each other if we 1416 01:00:51,985 --> 01:00:53,305 did that because it's one 1417 01:00:53,505 --> 01:00:57,025 of our mutual fantasies. 1418 01:00:59,125 --> 01:01:00,785 But the rest that's doable. 1419 01:01:00,805 --> 01:01:03,105 And I think, you know, we just work, we work towards them. 1420 01:01:05,105 --> 01:01:06,985 I just love that it, for both of us, it starts out 1421 01:01:06,985 --> 01:01:08,105 with the coffee . 1422 01:01:10,045 --> 01:01:12,025 - Hey, come on. 1423 01:01:12,145 --> 01:01:15,625 I mean, you know, coffee is my love language. . 1424 01:01:19,325 --> 01:01:23,725 - So Mm-Hmm. that those are 1425 01:01:23,725 --> 01:01:24,805 the answers to the questions. 1426 01:01:24,805 --> 01:01:26,205 That was it. That's question. There weren't that many. 1427 01:01:26,545 --> 01:01:29,325 - No, - They they were, they were interesting. 1428 01:01:30,365 --> 01:01:34,565 I feel like there's a little bit of soul bearing going on. 1429 01:01:34,745 --> 01:01:35,765 Not between us. Yeah. We, 1430 01:01:35,925 --> 01:01:37,885 I think we knew this about each other. 1431 01:01:37,955 --> 01:01:41,405 Yeah. Uh, yeah. Hi, this is, this is who we really are. 1432 01:01:41,805 --> 01:01:42,805 . Sorry. 1433 01:01:43,465 --> 01:01:46,285 Um, so yeah, if anybody is interested in these Mm-Hmm. 1434 01:01:46,325 --> 01:01:51,045 in these questions, like, feel, feel free 1435 01:01:51,045 --> 01:01:54,525 to do them in your own, like relationships or whatever. 1436 01:01:54,525 --> 01:01:56,525 Mm-Hmm. . Um, you might, 1437 01:01:56,525 --> 01:01:57,565 you might learn some things 1438 01:01:58,265 --> 01:02:03,005 - And, and rah, I, I have been, um, embracing my inner brat 1439 01:02:03,105 --> 01:02:05,805 and you know, it's just this one here that 1440 01:02:08,485 --> 01:02:11,165 - , I enjoy being sassy. 1441 01:02:12,945 --> 01:02:14,485 I'm happy to be sassy because, 1442 01:02:15,905 --> 01:02:18,525 and maybe it's, I need to, I'm sure robo would say, you need 1443 01:02:18,525 --> 01:02:20,020 to broaden your definition of what it means to brat. 1444 01:02:20,020 --> 01:02:21,845 And I'm sure that that might be true , 1445 01:02:22,305 --> 01:02:24,405 but I'm too desperate to be your good girl. 1446 01:02:25,245 --> 01:02:28,205 I just, I just wanna amuse myself on the way to it. 1447 01:02:29,285 --> 01:02:32,125 I, I want to play the, the linguistic games. 1448 01:02:32,865 --> 01:02:33,965 Oh, you said this thing, 1449 01:02:34,385 --> 01:02:36,045 but I still ultimately, at the end of the day, 1450 01:02:36,245 --> 01:02:38,005 I wanna do exactly what you want me to do. 1451 01:02:38,065 --> 01:02:40,325 And please, God, don't ask me what I wanna do. 1452 01:02:40,325 --> 01:02:41,485 Just tell me what I'm supposed to do, 1453 01:02:41,665 --> 01:02:43,925 but also make sure I'm in the right head space 1454 01:02:43,925 --> 01:02:45,365 where I know that that's what we're doing. 1455 01:02:45,425 --> 01:02:47,165 So I don't default into mom mode 1456 01:02:47,165 --> 01:02:48,525 where I think I have to control the thing. 1457 01:02:48,705 --> 01:02:51,045 So like, send up a flag, let me know this is the moment. 1458 01:02:51,315 --> 01:02:52,925 Yeah. That you are in total charge. 1459 01:02:53,425 --> 01:02:56,245 And I can just turn my brain off and be a good girl. 1460 01:02:56,525 --> 01:02:59,285 'cause what that is, oh, that's my ultimate thing. 1461 01:03:01,355 --> 01:03:04,045 It's the, I, it touches something in the people pleaser 1462 01:03:04,045 --> 01:03:05,125 in me that's like Mm-Hmm. 1463 01:03:05,165 --> 01:03:06,325 . I made the one person 1464 01:03:06,425 --> 01:03:08,925 who really fucking matters. Really Happy 1465 01:03:09,445 --> 01:03:10,445 - . 1466 01:03:10,865 --> 01:03:13,845 - You know, so, yeah. - Okay. 1467 01:03:15,225 --> 01:03:16,805 - So we will do a bonus section. Mm-Hmm. . 1468 01:03:16,805 --> 01:03:18,445 Yeah. Um, before we go, for anybody 1469 01:03:18,445 --> 01:03:20,525 who usually knows out at the bonus section, just a reminder, 1470 01:03:20,785 --> 01:03:23,845 the dom sub dynamics virtual summit is happening 1471 01:03:23,845 --> 01:03:24,925 April 8th through 11th. 1472 01:03:25,065 --> 01:03:26,725 You, there's a limited time to sign up. 1473 01:03:26,725 --> 01:03:29,845 You can attend four free, free, free, free. 1474 01:03:30,545 --> 01:03:32,285 Um, if you want the extra goodies 1475 01:03:32,285 --> 01:03:34,045 and you have the budget, you can buy like an 1476 01:03:34,045 --> 01:03:35,165 extra pass to get more. 1477 01:03:35,505 --> 01:03:38,765 But the education, the sessions free with your ticket. 1478 01:03:38,825 --> 01:03:41,885 The link is in the places. Uh, podcast folks show notes. 1479 01:03:42,315 --> 01:03:45,085 YouTube in the description box. Go forth. 1480 01:03:45,225 --> 01:03:49,165 Get your BDSM education on April 8th through 11th. Yep. 1481 01:03:49,435 --> 01:03:51,845 Okay. Okay. We can do a bonus section now. 1482 01:03:51,845 --> 01:03:56,045 - Okay. Now we're good. I dunno. Keep it kinky. All keep 1483 01:03:56,045 --> 01:03:57,045 - Itall and we'll see you next week. 1484 01:04:07,825 --> 01:04:09,605 - Yes. - I almost forgot what I was supposed to be doing. 1485 01:04:09,685 --> 01:04:11,645 I got so fascinated with watching you write 1486 01:04:11,645 --> 01:04:12,645 - That down. 1487 01:04:12,645 --> 01:04:14,045 We write numbers. Wow. Okay. Um, 1488 01:04:14,395 --> 01:04:15,725 - Okay. Can we talk to the crickets? 1489 01:04:16,145 --> 01:04:18,805 - Um, yeah. Okay. Yeah. 1490 01:04:18,805 --> 01:04:21,325 They, you, I'm sure they probably missed us not 1491 01:04:21,325 --> 01:04:22,685 being around Nick last week. I, 1492 01:04:22,825 --> 01:04:25,045 - One would hope if you consider yourself a cricket, I have 1493 01:04:25,045 --> 01:04:27,085 to assume you, you probably missed a little bit of this. 1494 01:04:27,535 --> 01:04:30,125 Maybe not all of this Moment. Little bit. Yeah. 1495 01:04:30,605 --> 01:04:32,285 I don't, it's, I don't want, I'm not trying 1496 01:04:32,285 --> 01:04:33,685 to be cheeky and go, I don't have anything to say. 1497 01:04:33,885 --> 01:04:37,325 I don't, the last thing I did 1498 01:04:37,325 --> 01:04:38,805 before we started doing any 1499 01:04:38,805 --> 01:04:42,205 of this was I was reading Bear Shifter erotic romance. 1500 01:04:42,385 --> 01:04:44,485 Mm-Hmm. . And I was in it . 1501 01:04:44,785 --> 01:04:48,005 And she was about to, with a broken leg, get on the floor 1502 01:04:48,025 --> 01:04:49,245 and give somebody a blow job. 1503 01:04:49,865 --> 01:04:52,925 And I know that their instinct is gonna be to scoop her up. 1504 01:04:53,465 --> 01:04:56,285 See, and this is my favorite, favorite thing. I'm so sorry. 1505 01:04:56,285 --> 01:04:57,525 Podcast listeners. You're like, 1506 01:04:57,605 --> 01:04:58,925 I feel like I've just entered half halfway 1507 01:04:58,925 --> 01:05:00,165 through a conversation you have. 1508 01:05:00,325 --> 01:05:02,445 I was talking about this in the live stream at the very top. 1509 01:05:03,025 --> 01:05:07,725 The thing is, and and this has been delightful in this 1510 01:05:07,725 --> 01:05:10,245 series I'm reading the author is Sam Hall. 1511 01:05:10,565 --> 01:05:12,365 S-A-M-H-A-L-L, Sam Hall. 1512 01:05:12,965 --> 01:05:15,165 I think the series is called Ursa Shifters. 1513 01:05:15,165 --> 01:05:19,445 They're bear shifters. Um, um, um, 1514 01:05:20,235 --> 01:05:22,245 this is not the first book in this series where they, 1515 01:05:22,705 --> 01:05:24,925 she did this, but it is the one I've sort 1516 01:05:24,925 --> 01:05:26,165 of, I think liked the most. 1517 01:05:26,665 --> 01:05:30,965 We have a, we have a plus size woman who is not 19. Okay. 1518 01:05:31,405 --> 01:05:32,805 I, they never say her exact age, 1519 01:05:32,805 --> 01:05:36,685 but I think she's around 30, 29, 31, somewhere in there. 1520 01:05:37,665 --> 01:05:40,445 And she is getting, she's a fictional character. 1521 01:05:40,445 --> 01:05:43,205 Y'all and I know this, but she is getting one 1522 01:05:43,205 --> 01:05:44,845 of my deepest fantasies. 1523 01:05:45,225 --> 01:05:48,125 And I know other plus-sized people 1524 01:05:48,185 --> 01:05:49,605 who have had a similar fantasy. 1525 01:05:51,055 --> 01:05:54,445 These men are so beefy, brawny, burley, 1526 01:05:55,035 --> 01:05:56,445 they can pick her up. 1527 01:05:57,605 --> 01:06:00,765 I have been too big to pick up since I was about a toddler 1528 01:06:01,285 --> 01:06:02,405 to the point 1529 01:06:02,405 --> 01:06:04,125 that when somebody has tried in the past, 1530 01:06:04,195 --> 01:06:07,685 it's freaked me the fuck out because what is happening here? 1531 01:06:07,825 --> 01:06:09,845 And then they didn't. And I was terrified I was going 1532 01:06:09,845 --> 01:06:12,365 to be humiliated when they couldn't do the thing they were 1533 01:06:12,525 --> 01:06:15,685 claiming they could do and they just scoop her up. 1534 01:06:15,685 --> 01:06:16,765 They just scoop her up. 1535 01:06:16,825 --> 01:06:20,405 And I'm like, ah, I do not speak for everybody 1536 01:06:21,145 --> 01:06:23,765 who would consider themselves plus size, uh, overweight, 1537 01:06:23,865 --> 01:06:25,085 fat, whatever word you wanna use. 1538 01:06:26,105 --> 01:06:30,485 But I know that all, all, all the good romances, 1539 01:06:30,765 --> 01:06:31,965 somebody's getting scooped up. 1540 01:06:31,965 --> 01:06:36,765 And it's usually a very thin woman who, 1541 01:06:37,985 --> 01:06:40,925 you know, could be easily tossed over shoulders 1542 01:06:41,025 --> 01:06:43,165 by slightly brawny, slightly big. 1543 01:06:43,615 --> 01:06:47,365 These are bears and they toss her over their shoulder. 1544 01:06:47,465 --> 01:06:51,285 And I'm like, I too would like a six foot seven bear shifter 1545 01:06:51,545 --> 01:06:54,765 in human form to pick me up. 1546 01:06:55,065 --> 01:06:57,605 I'm fucking here for that. The bears, not those bears. 1547 01:06:57,805 --> 01:06:58,965 I don't want those bears . 1548 01:07:06,785 --> 01:07:09,845 So that's what's been on my mind. Mm. 1549 01:07:10,025 --> 01:07:11,045 And will I need 1550 01:07:11,045 --> 01:07:12,685 to put timestamps into the live stream after this? 1551 01:07:12,685 --> 01:07:15,525 Yes. Will I need to remember to go maybe eat something even 1552 01:07:15,525 --> 01:07:18,005 though your spaghetti sauce is simmering 1553 01:07:18,025 --> 01:07:19,285 and still so fucking good? 1554 01:07:19,985 --> 01:07:23,485 Yes. But also I need to know what happens next in this book. 1555 01:07:23,645 --> 01:07:25,445 I know what's gonna happen in the end. It's romance. 1556 01:07:25,515 --> 01:07:27,525 It's a happy ever after. I'm good. 1557 01:07:27,875 --> 01:07:29,405 It's not the ending I'm trying to get to. 1558 01:07:29,405 --> 01:07:33,245 It's how the fuck we got there. This one was angsty 1559 01:07:33,245 --> 01:07:35,285 - From like, it's the, just, it's not the destination. 1560 01:07:35,285 --> 01:07:36,645 It's, it's the journey. It's the journey. Right. 1561 01:07:36,715 --> 01:07:39,125 - This one was angsty from the beginning in a good way. 1562 01:07:39,125 --> 01:07:40,325 Like in a way that sucked me in. 1563 01:07:40,325 --> 01:07:41,525 I don't usually like angst 'cause I'm like, 1564 01:07:41,525 --> 01:07:43,045 I don't read to be stressed out. 1565 01:07:43,145 --> 01:07:46,725 But also there was tension, there was, 1566 01:07:46,845 --> 01:07:48,245 I could relate to this character. 1567 01:07:48,485 --> 01:07:50,045 I don't need to relate to the characters 1568 01:07:50,045 --> 01:07:52,245 to have a good time, but man, when I do relate 1569 01:07:52,245 --> 01:07:54,525 to them, I have a better time. 1570 01:07:54,755 --> 01:07:58,005 Like I just, oh, yeah. Anyway. 1571 01:08:02,705 --> 01:08:05,685 Anyway. So that's, where's my line been? . 1572 01:08:07,035 --> 01:08:09,885 - Well, okay. - Um, well, you said something recently 1573 01:08:10,555 --> 01:08:13,125 that hit home, and I think I'm doing it with reading. 1574 01:08:13,345 --> 01:08:16,245 You were like, I, you, it was when you were listening 1575 01:08:16,245 --> 01:08:17,965 to your music, you're like, I need to listen to my music 1576 01:08:18,025 --> 01:08:20,005 and disassociate while I play my game. 1577 01:08:20,285 --> 01:08:23,405 I just, that's what I need. And I'm doing that with reading. 1578 01:08:23,405 --> 01:08:25,845 Like, reality is really fucking hard right now. 1579 01:08:26,085 --> 01:08:30,565 , almost nothing makes sense. I can't fix anything. 1580 01:08:30,875 --> 01:08:32,605 Nothing is going to plan. 1581 01:08:33,305 --> 01:08:37,085 And so I've gotten into this probably not great habit of, 1582 01:08:37,265 --> 01:08:41,365 um, not focusing and not thinking 1583 01:08:41,425 --> 01:08:44,805 and not remembering that time exists or that I exist 1584 01:08:44,805 --> 01:08:46,645 because there's a book to be read 1585 01:08:46,875 --> 01:08:49,005 that is much more interesting than reality. 1586 01:08:50,825 --> 01:08:51,825 So, oh, 1587 01:08:54,245 --> 01:08:55,245 - . 1588 01:08:55,245 --> 01:08:58,005 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1589 01:09:00,355 --> 01:09:03,135 - Mm-Hmm. . - It's okay though. 1590 01:09:03,625 --> 01:09:06,215 Break was break was breaky. 1591 01:09:06,565 --> 01:09:08,175 - Yeah. I - Mean, we still kind of worked. 1592 01:09:08,295 --> 01:09:10,135 I took a lot of half days. Like I do a little work. 1593 01:09:10,595 --> 01:09:13,255 - You took more time than me. It, it's difficult for me 1594 01:09:13,255 --> 01:09:15,135 with the breaks because unfortunately the 1595 01:09:15,135 --> 01:09:16,215 shop still keeps going 1596 01:09:16,675 --> 01:09:17,935 - And I was still sending out orders 1597 01:09:18,035 --> 01:09:19,455 and doing stuff Yeah. On the website. 1598 01:09:19,455 --> 01:09:21,215 - But yeah, so, you know, I did did a lot of that. 1599 01:09:21,395 --> 01:09:23,975 Um, I think my big day was last Wednesday 1600 01:09:24,485 --> 01:09:27,455 because you know, we usually have Wednesdays slated for, 1601 01:09:27,555 --> 01:09:29,775 um, doing this. 1602 01:09:30,475 --> 01:09:34,575 And it wasn't, you know, I blew the day off. 1603 01:09:34,765 --> 01:09:36,015 - Yeah. We went and did stuff - Stuff together. 1604 01:09:36,015 --> 01:09:37,135 Did we? We went and did stuff. Yeah. You 1605 01:09:37,255 --> 01:09:38,255 - Remembering that correctly, right? Mm-Hmm. . 1606 01:09:38,255 --> 01:09:39,335 - Yeah. Okay. - Yep. Yeah, 1607 01:09:39,335 --> 01:09:40,855 we took the full day off kind of together. 1608 01:09:40,855 --> 01:09:42,855 That was nice. Yeah. That was nice. Mm-Hmm. . 1609 01:09:42,955 --> 01:09:45,255 Mm-Hmm. . And we're gonna take a half 1610 01:09:45,315 --> 01:09:46,535 day together on Friday. 1611 01:09:46,685 --> 01:09:48,415 Correct. So, 1612 01:09:48,635 --> 01:09:49,635 - Excuse me. 1613 01:09:52,275 --> 01:09:55,775 - But, - But yeah. I mean, it was nice. 1614 01:09:56,055 --> 01:09:58,215 I, you know. Yeah. 1615 01:10:00,395 --> 01:10:03,175 - Mm-Hmm. . I, yeah. I dunno what to tell. 1616 01:10:03,665 --> 01:10:05,135 Sorry. Y'all . 1617 01:10:05,355 --> 01:10:06,415 - Uh, - It's one 1618 01:10:06,495 --> 01:10:09,255 because we're in this weird in-between time where it's been 1619 01:10:09,255 --> 01:10:10,335 so long ago that I don't 1620 01:10:10,455 --> 01:10:11,495 remember what we've already talked about. 1621 01:10:12,045 --> 01:10:16,335 Yeah. Also, we were recording stuff for our Patreon folks 1622 01:10:16,555 --> 01:10:19,495 and that, so then I, I'm like, I know I said this, 1623 01:10:19,495 --> 01:10:21,255 but did, did I say this for Patreon? 1624 01:10:21,695 --> 01:10:25,095 ? I say this somewhere else, I dunno. 1625 01:10:25,575 --> 01:10:28,855 , uh, 1626 01:10:29,165 --> 01:10:32,175 Lola is now snoring off to the side. She's 1627 01:10:32,345 --> 01:10:33,345 - Right next to - Me. 1628 01:10:33,345 --> 01:10:34,095 Oh, she's right next to you. I 1629 01:10:34,095 --> 01:10:35,695 thought she was across the room. Okay. 1630 01:10:35,715 --> 01:10:37,015 - No, no. She's right next to me. 1631 01:10:37,325 --> 01:10:38,535 - Okay. She's snoring. 1632 01:10:38,645 --> 01:10:41,095 - When, when she came in she wanted attention. 1633 01:10:41,295 --> 01:10:44,455 I was scratching her chin 1634 01:10:44,555 --> 01:10:47,895 and, you know, scratching her ears 1635 01:10:48,035 --> 01:10:49,855 and then she'd just lay down and 1636 01:10:50,155 --> 01:10:53,935 - We were recording Monday's video slash podcast episode. 1637 01:10:54,435 --> 01:10:56,015 And, um, she sat down 1638 01:10:56,075 --> 01:10:57,655 by my feet, which she doesn't usually do. 1639 01:10:58,155 --> 01:10:59,855 And then like, licked my toes. 1640 01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:03,015 I was like, I guess it's better than you all wooing in the 1641 01:11:03,015 --> 01:11:04,775 background and me having to try and edit that out. 1642 01:11:04,945 --> 01:11:06,175 - Right. 1643 01:11:07,755 --> 01:11:09,215 - Silent mention in the live chat. 1644 01:11:09,285 --> 01:11:11,255 Patreon game night. Mm-Hmm. this Friday. 1645 01:11:11,255 --> 01:11:14,245 It's something we do through Patreon for folks in the $5 1646 01:11:14,305 --> 01:11:15,485 and up tiers. 1647 01:11:16,145 --> 01:11:19,125 Um, where yeah. We play right this year. 1648 01:11:19,235 --> 01:11:21,245 Last year we were playing a lot of Cards Against Humanity 1649 01:11:21,265 --> 01:11:23,645 and then the sites we were trying to use kept like 1650 01:11:24,245 --> 01:11:24,845 - Glitching. Oh 1651 01:11:24,865 --> 01:11:25,865 - God. 1652 01:11:25,865 --> 01:11:26,765 Awful. Awful. Um, 1653 01:11:27,025 --> 01:11:29,325 and so this year we're playing Jackbox games. 1654 01:11:30,265 --> 01:11:33,565 Um, I don't know which ones we're playing this week, 1655 01:11:33,665 --> 01:11:35,845 but we do it, it's a monthly game night 1656 01:11:35,845 --> 01:11:36,925 thing through our Patreon. 1657 01:11:37,465 --> 01:11:39,525 Um, yeah. 1658 01:11:39,525 --> 01:11:41,085 That's, that's why we're part 1659 01:11:41,085 --> 01:11:42,205 of why we're taking half a day. 1660 01:11:42,205 --> 01:11:45,445 Because normally we would go do like run errands, like 1661 01:11:45,665 --> 01:11:46,845 to buy stuff for the house or whatever. 1662 01:11:47,185 --> 01:11:48,765 If we're not, if we don't wanna do it on the weekend, 1663 01:11:48,765 --> 01:11:50,765 we'll do it on like Friday night 1664 01:11:50,945 --> 01:11:52,245 and no, we'll be playing a game 1665 01:11:52,245 --> 01:11:53,445 then. Mm-Hmm. . So we're gonna 1666 01:11:53,995 --> 01:11:54,995 - Yeah. 1667 01:11:54,995 --> 01:11:57,685 And I mean, for me, lately, right now I've been doing a lot 1668 01:11:57,745 --> 01:11:59,805 of, a lot of yard work. 1669 01:12:00,065 --> 01:12:02,965 Mm-Hmm. , you know, spring is sprung and uh, 1670 01:12:03,585 --> 01:12:07,925 - We, we need to, you're having to do yard work in the way 1671 01:12:08,265 --> 01:12:11,885 that's like not great for your back. 1672 01:12:12,235 --> 01:12:14,485 True. Um, we have a riding mower. 1673 01:12:14,545 --> 01:12:17,165 It was, it was passed down to us from my aunt 1674 01:12:17,165 --> 01:12:19,205 and uncle when they got a new one 1675 01:12:19,225 --> 01:12:20,365 or they went to a lawn 1676 01:12:20,365 --> 01:12:21,565 service, something, they didn't need it 1677 01:12:21,565 --> 01:12:22,565 - Anymore. 1678 01:12:22,565 --> 01:12:24,205 They, they, yeah. They, when they moved they decided 1679 01:12:24,205 --> 01:12:25,525 they're not gonna do the lawn. 1680 01:12:25,525 --> 01:12:27,205 They gonna have a lawn service. Lawn service 1681 01:12:27,425 --> 01:12:28,425 - Do it. 1682 01:12:28,425 --> 01:12:29,245 Yeah. Um, it needs a new battery 1683 01:12:29,305 --> 01:12:30,965 and we just need to get the battery . 1684 01:12:30,965 --> 01:12:32,485 Mm-Hmm. . But until we get the battery, 1685 01:12:33,745 --> 01:12:36,365 JB uses, it's not a, I call it a push mower. 1686 01:12:36,365 --> 01:12:37,965 That's 'cause I'm old. Okay. It's 1687 01:12:37,965 --> 01:12:38,965 - Not, it's Yeah. 1688 01:12:38,965 --> 01:12:39,805 So propelled it's you, we walk behind. 1689 01:12:39,915 --> 01:12:41,725 - Look, I, when we go uphill, I feel like I'm pushing. 1690 01:12:41,745 --> 01:12:43,365 So I don't know what to tell you. Um, 1691 01:12:43,875 --> 01:12:46,685 - Then you're doing it wrong - Probably. So 1692 01:12:47,085 --> 01:12:48,285 - , - No doubt. 1693 01:12:49,425 --> 01:12:52,605 Um, and normally we, we now do lawn work together, 1694 01:12:52,745 --> 01:12:55,885 but this past weekend, so we had the big, 1695 01:12:56,185 --> 01:13:00,165 big fight Friday evening, we were 1696 01:13:01,215 --> 01:13:05,245 recovering and not doing well 1697 01:13:05,625 --> 01:13:07,765 and not speaking on Saturday. 1698 01:13:08,175 --> 01:13:11,325 - Right. - So Sunday we were in a truce 1699 01:13:12,085 --> 01:13:15,285 - - And both the yard work needed to get done 1700 01:13:15,385 --> 01:13:17,285 and the groceries needed to get got. 1701 01:13:18,025 --> 01:13:19,565 We had not done it Friday night. We 1702 01:13:20,105 --> 01:13:21,105 - Got Saturday. 1703 01:13:22,265 --> 01:13:25,365 - Um, and so we had to divide and conquer. Yeah. 1704 01:13:25,945 --> 01:13:28,405 So he did the yard, yard work. Oh no. 1705 01:13:28,585 --> 01:13:30,565 And I went to Aldi. Oh no. 1706 01:13:31,125 --> 01:13:34,245 - . - Uh, . I definitely got the better end 1707 01:13:34,245 --> 01:13:35,405 of the deal, so 1708 01:13:35,715 --> 01:13:39,525 - Yeah, no, there's, there's, there's been a lot of, uh, 1709 01:13:40,525 --> 01:13:43,125 a lot of yard work this spring. 1710 01:13:43,465 --> 01:13:47,925 Um, but we got all the, all the bushes 1711 01:13:48,905 --> 01:13:50,405 around the house trimmed up. 1712 01:13:50,735 --> 01:13:52,885 - We're trying to deal with the weeds. Yeah. 1713 01:13:52,885 --> 01:13:55,445 That spread from the neighbor's yard into 1714 01:13:55,665 --> 01:13:56,665 - Our yard. 1715 01:13:57,025 --> 01:13:59,525 - But they, this was it this week or last week? 1716 01:13:59,715 --> 01:14:01,205 - Last week. - God, what is time? 1717 01:14:01,745 --> 01:14:04,365 Um, basically had their entire there, it was nothing 1718 01:14:04,385 --> 01:14:08,325 but weeds had their entire lawn ripped up and sauted. 1719 01:14:08,435 --> 01:14:12,725 Yeah. Um, and so now the patch of weeds that came 1720 01:14:12,745 --> 01:14:14,045 to us from their side, 1721 01:14:14,075 --> 01:14:15,805 - From their side now trying to get rid of it 1722 01:14:15,865 --> 01:14:18,085 so it doesn't go back and reinfect them with the new 1723 01:14:18,345 --> 01:14:21,525 - And also looks like, it looks like it's a, an US problem. 1724 01:14:21,525 --> 01:14:24,245 Yeah. And I'm like, it is our problem now. Sure. Mm-Hmm. 1725 01:14:24,285 --> 01:14:25,925 - . But - This did not start with us. 1726 01:14:26,745 --> 01:14:29,605 Um, so yeah. We're, we're getting to fight the, 1727 01:14:29,705 --> 01:14:32,925 the fun battle with weeds both front and back. 1728 01:14:32,925 --> 01:14:35,085 The front is just this kind of patchy area. 1729 01:14:35,275 --> 01:14:37,765 It's not the whole on, thank God the back , 1730 01:14:37,785 --> 01:14:40,245 - The back, the back has, has taken a worse hit. 1731 01:14:40,315 --> 01:14:44,685 Yeah. Um, gotta understand with the front yard, have a very, 1732 01:14:45,235 --> 01:14:49,605 very large old growth Laurel Oak in the front yard 1733 01:14:50,465 --> 01:14:53,845 and it, it keeps the front shaded. 1734 01:14:54,465 --> 01:14:58,725 Um, our backyard here gets the full brunt 1735 01:14:58,985 --> 01:15:00,165 of sun. 1736 01:15:01,825 --> 01:15:05,405 And last year when we had our extended 113 1737 01:15:06,825 --> 01:15:09,125 degree days Mm-Hmm. 1738 01:15:09,305 --> 01:15:12,005 Um, you know, the, um, 1739 01:15:14,575 --> 01:15:16,445 irrigation could not keep up with it. 1740 01:15:16,785 --> 01:15:20,525 No, no. And, uh, a lot of the, the lawns worse for wear 1741 01:15:20,525 --> 01:15:23,005 and tear because of that in the backyard. 1742 01:15:23,345 --> 01:15:26,205 So, you know, it, it kind of is what it is. 1743 01:15:26,835 --> 01:15:29,645 - Yeah. And we talked about looking at more kind 1744 01:15:29,645 --> 01:15:33,325 of sustainable natural ground covering. 1745 01:15:33,385 --> 01:15:36,085 Mm-Hmm. problem is, is there's no real way 1746 01:15:36,265 --> 01:15:37,965 to keep it to our yard. 1747 01:15:38,115 --> 01:15:40,365 Yeah. It's gonna go into neighboring yards 1748 01:15:40,365 --> 01:15:42,485 and that's probably not what they want. 1749 01:15:42,665 --> 01:15:45,005 Mm-Hmm. . And so I don't 1750 01:15:45,005 --> 01:15:46,005 - Know. 1751 01:15:46,005 --> 01:15:48,765 Yep. So, but yeah, I've been doing that, you know, and, 1752 01:15:49,025 --> 01:15:50,605 and the big oak tree in the front. 1753 01:15:51,265 --> 01:15:52,405 - Oh yeah. You had to trim that. 1754 01:15:52,745 --> 01:15:54,365 - It was, it was, you know, kind 1755 01:15:54,365 --> 01:15:57,325 of hanging down a little lower than wanted. 1756 01:15:57,505 --> 01:16:01,365 So we, uh, basically went around, gave it a bowl, cut it. 1757 01:16:01,365 --> 01:16:03,965 - Yeah. Right around as high 1758 01:16:03,965 --> 01:16:07,365 as he could get whatever he was using to trim. Yeah. 1759 01:16:07,395 --> 01:16:11,365 - Just, - Yeah. And this is the time of year where all 1760 01:16:11,385 --> 01:16:14,805 of the tree service folk come out and knock on your door 1761 01:16:15,105 --> 01:16:16,165 or leave things in your mailbox 1762 01:16:16,345 --> 01:16:17,445 or at your front door about how 1763 01:16:17,445 --> 01:16:18,565 they can help you, blah, blah blah. 1764 01:16:18,565 --> 01:16:21,245 Yeah. And we would love to get a tree service out 1765 01:16:21,265 --> 01:16:23,165 to do what needs to be done with that thing. 1766 01:16:23,165 --> 01:16:24,645 But it was like, no, we'll just, 1767 01:16:24,855 --> 01:16:27,805 we'll just get our six foot ladder and this what, 1768 01:16:27,945 --> 01:16:31,205 - And nine foot, - Whatever that thing's called 1769 01:16:31,595 --> 01:16:32,885 - Pole pruner pole fall. 1770 01:16:32,885 --> 01:16:35,885 - Right. And give our tree a bowl cut. Um, 1771 01:16:36,875 --> 01:16:37,875 - Yeah. 1772 01:16:37,875 --> 01:16:40,165 I mean, eventually gonna have to have a professional come in 1773 01:16:40,165 --> 01:16:42,845 and, and do some of the stuff that I can't get to, but Yeah. 1774 01:16:43,065 --> 01:16:44,645 You know? Yeah, I know they get up there 1775 01:16:44,645 --> 01:16:46,285 with their cherry picker and climb the tree 1776 01:16:46,285 --> 01:16:47,685 and do whatever they gotta do and 1777 01:16:47,685 --> 01:16:49,405 - It's a massive trail. Oh, it's 1778 01:16:49,405 --> 01:16:49,605 - Huge. Yeah. 1779 01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:50,725 - Oh my god. Oh my god. 1780 01:16:51,225 --> 01:16:53,445 And the canopy of this tree, it just fucking, it's 1781 01:16:53,445 --> 01:16:54,445 - An, it's an old growth oak. 1782 01:16:54,705 --> 01:16:57,325 Yep. Yeah. So, so 1783 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:00,115 - Yeah. 1784 01:17:00,115 --> 01:17:01,365 - Perennial peanuts 1785 01:17:01,725 --> 01:17:02,725 - Hmm. 1786 01:17:02,725 --> 01:17:05,445 For ground cover. That's, that's all your territory. 1787 01:17:05,445 --> 01:17:07,045 Yeah, no, I just smile and look pretty 1788 01:17:07,065 --> 01:17:08,485 and put my little hat on 1789 01:17:08,705 --> 01:17:10,725 and go, what, what do you need me to do? 1790 01:17:10,745 --> 01:17:14,765 And can I do it without touching anything dirty? Um, yeah. 1791 01:17:15,835 --> 01:17:17,205 Yeah. So Yeah. 1792 01:17:18,235 --> 01:17:20,205 - Yeah. It's pretty much been, been my life 1793 01:17:20,665 --> 01:17:21,665 - Of late. 1794 01:17:21,665 --> 01:17:23,605 Yeah. The oldest has borrowed my car while his 1795 01:17:23,605 --> 01:17:24,885 bike is in the shop. 1796 01:17:25,145 --> 01:17:26,805 Yes. Uh, 1797 01:17:28,835 --> 01:17:29,835 - It's yeah. 1798 01:17:29,835 --> 01:17:30,405 Kind of, kind of hidden. 1799 01:17:30,565 --> 01:17:33,805 I, I had been helping him as much as I could with the bike 1800 01:17:34,235 --> 01:17:35,765 with some things he's had going 1801 01:17:35,985 --> 01:17:39,645 and, um, kind of got to a point it was beyond my scope, 1802 01:17:40,165 --> 01:17:42,485 , so he had to put it in the shop. Yeah. 1803 01:17:42,625 --> 01:17:44,245 - And now we're waiting. Yeah. 1804 01:17:44,795 --> 01:17:48,325 He's crazy busy with all the stuff he has with classes, 1805 01:17:49,045 --> 01:17:50,485 performances and work. 1806 01:17:51,345 --> 01:17:55,845 So I don't know when he'll get his bike back. 1807 01:17:56,005 --> 01:17:58,205 I don't even know if he'll get it back the day it's ready 1808 01:17:58,265 --> 01:17:59,525 to be gotten back. Yeah. 1809 01:17:59,525 --> 01:18:01,285 - Like . Yeah. - And then we'll have 1810 01:18:01,285 --> 01:18:02,765 to go pick up our car, but, Mm-Hmm. 1811 01:18:02,805 --> 01:18:04,765 . Yeah. So 1812 01:18:05,995 --> 01:18:06,995 - Yeah. 1813 01:18:06,995 --> 01:18:08,485 That's been been about it. Mm-Hmm. 1814 01:18:08,525 --> 01:18:12,765 - . Mm-Hmm. . I got nothing. 1815 01:18:12,885 --> 01:18:15,205 I don't know. I don't know. 1816 01:18:15,285 --> 01:18:19,045 I, we, it was, today's dream was a bit 1817 01:18:19,045 --> 01:18:20,365 of a roller coaster in a good way. 1818 01:18:20,385 --> 01:18:21,805 And now I'm like coming down from it 1819 01:18:21,805 --> 01:18:23,005 and I'm like, what are words? 1820 01:18:23,285 --> 01:18:23,885 I don't know. . 1821 01:18:26,425 --> 01:18:28,285 Um, but we're here. 1822 01:18:28,295 --> 01:18:30,405 We're back. Mm-Hmm. things are back to normal. 1823 01:18:30,405 --> 01:18:32,245 We did a lot of recording today. Yeah. 1824 01:18:32,415 --> 01:18:35,885 Which we will call, we'll end the day early for us. 1825 01:18:36,385 --> 01:18:38,285 Um, 'cause of that. 'cause there's, we're, 1826 01:18:38,285 --> 01:18:41,365 we'll be exhausted very shortly recorded two things 1827 01:18:41,365 --> 01:18:44,085 for Patreon Monday. This. 1828 01:18:44,905 --> 01:18:48,575 - Yep. Yep, yep, yep. - It's 1829 01:18:48,885 --> 01:18:49,885 - Busy. 1830 01:18:49,885 --> 01:18:51,135 Busy day. Mm-Hmm. . God. 1831 01:18:51,135 --> 01:18:53,135 So glad you took a break and come back to uh, 1832 01:18:53,135 --> 01:18:55,095 working like damn fools . 1833 01:18:55,575 --> 01:18:57,255 - I like working like a damn - Fool though, . 1834 01:18:57,555 --> 01:18:58,855 - It makes me feel good most of the time. 1835 01:18:59,835 --> 01:19:02,495 So all that being said, we're gonna go. Yep. 1836 01:19:02,835 --> 01:19:04,375 Uh, but we're back. Mm-Hmm. . 1837 01:19:04,795 --> 01:19:09,165 Um, and I can't think of anything else to say. 1838 01:19:09,235 --> 01:19:11,925 - Glad to, uh, have y'all join us. Yep. 1839 01:19:12,305 --> 01:19:13,565 - Always glad for that. Mm-Hmm. . 1840 01:19:13,565 --> 01:19:15,365 Especially when you stick around to the bitter end. Yep. 1841 01:19:15,865 --> 01:19:18,285 And we'll talk to y'all later. All right. Bye. 1842 01:19:19,065 --> 01:19:19,725 - Bye. Bye.