- You are listening to the 11 BDSM podcast.
Kayla Lords here were the one, the only,
the you were totally shirtless
and, uh, I was playing
with your nipples, John Brownstone. You
- Were, and I was, - It was delightful.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Was
it as good for you as it
- Was?
For me, it was. Absolutely. It's all that
- Matters, - . That's
- Not, that's not what we're talking about this week.
This week we're actually talking about pervert balls. Yes.
So, yeah. I don't know. How do I segue?
I'm not good at segues. We've had this conversation before.
Welcome to the loving BDSM podcast of this .
If you're new here, and this is your first time listening.
Yes. It's like this all the time, .
And, uh, if you didn't know,
we help sters like you have happy,
healthy power exchange relationships.
Add the podcast to your favorite podcast app
so you never miss an episode.
And if you'd like us to answer your question in a future one
of these, we have a contact page called Ask your Questions
on our website@lovingbdsm.net.
That's loving bdsm.net.
Or you can find it in the show notes for this episode. Okay.
This person's question. Mm-Hmm.
is totally like short and to the point.
Alright, here we go. I am on a budget.
Can I use these items in my home for BDSM dining chair?
I'll fit hooks on front, legs for sex chair, plastic spatula
for spanking eye mask as an O-ring ball gag
as my girlfriend likes giving oral sex.
And can a yoga mat be used for BDSM sex positions?
- Wow. - The first thing
to know is if you've got stuff at home
that you're looking at, like, can I get kinky with this?
The answer is usually yes. Yes. Yeah.
I mean, there are some things you might
have to consider, but Mm-Hmm.
in general. Yes. Right.
So let's go through this person's specific things. Okay.
The dining chair as a sex chair. Sure.
I do you, because you are better at like the bondy things
and the hooky things than I am.
Do you, does the structure of the chair matter,
like do is the legs or the sides?
- Absolutely. To a certain extent. It does. Um,
- Are you gonna get better results if your
chair has armrests?
- It depends what you're looking to do. Okay. Okay.
If a chair has armrest, absolutely you can,
you can tie the arms in a resting position on the armrest.
Mm-Hmm. . If there is no armrest,
but you haven't opened back,
you can tie the arms down to the side.
Okay. Against the back
- If you're not somebody who knows how
to do rope bondage yet Mm-Hmm.
or just isn't comfortable even
with a basic box tie.
Um, what are ways that aren't bondage, you know,
rope bondage to secure a person
to something like a dining room chair,
- Belt - Belt.
Okay. Okay. Um, I know you love to have pieces
of Velcro around here.
Mm-Hmm. , would that,
assuming the Velcro is strong enough
and long enough, could that do as well?
- I would think so. I mean, I'm
- Trying to think in the, the realm of perverts, you
- Know, know.
Yeah. Um, absolutely it would. Mm-Hmm. . Yeah.
You, I mean, you can go to Home Depot or Lowe's
and, you know, buy a, a roll of a Velcro strap
- And it's not terribly expensive.
No, it's not. And it's
reusable for other things around your house.
Absolutely. I was so excited for
- Once you cut it to length, I mean, you, you've got it
for, for that purpose.
- Right. Okay. So I, I'm so excited for this question.
I forgot, let's, real, real quick, define what a pervert is
for somebody who's like completely new to the concept
, how would you define pervert?
- Um, something that is basically
an everyday use item.
Mm-Hmm. that is then taken
and using used for purpose of BDSM.
- There you go. And it's really
that simple is literally anything around your house Mm-Hmm.
that you can go into a Walmart, uh,
a Home Depot or Lowe's or any kind of Right.
A dollar tree. Mm-Hmm.
like you have to spend a lot of money. Mm-Hmm.
. But it's a non kink item.
We are repurposing for kinky fuckery. Right.
Um, and the nice thing about non-kin items being used
that way is that they can, they can slide under the radar.
People aren't gonna look at your dining room chair
and go, oh, that's clearly used for a sex chair.
Mm-Hmm. , unless you leave your hooks
and your bondage items True, true on the chair, then Yeah.
Then you're giving yourself away. Mm-Hmm. .
Okay. The next one.
And I, I think we're both completely on board
with this plastic spatula for spanking.
Oh yeah. I think anything with a flat surface
and a handle is gonna be just fine.
- Spatula, wooden spoon, anything like that. Yeah.
- Mm-Hmm. , you can even if,
if we're in the kitchen
and we're pulling out items to, um, try to use for
whatever kink play you've got,
you can use something like a fork would be great
for sensation play.
- For, for Yes. I was gonna say that, um, you know, I,
I have, uh, played with tongs sometime,
you know, you get a little grab, you
- Come after my boobs with tongs.
Yeah. I'm like, no, no. What is happened, .
And that's not even like in scene.
I'm just trying to cook dinner
and somebody grabbed the tongs
and went clack, clack clack at me.
And , I'm not usually wearing a bra.
So they're there to, they're there to be, you know, truth,
- Truth.
- Uh, so yeah, the way I look at impact play stuff,
if you can look at an object
and it has either enough of a flat surface
or something that allows you to hold it and,
and hit somebody with it, it can be an impact item.
Mm-Hmm. the things you wanna be careful over,
it's anything with a blade or a very sharp end
because now you know,
we're looking at potentially cutting somebody,
and that might not be the kind of kinky play you want.
Mm-Hmm. . Okay. This one gives me pause
because I can't, I can't envision it.
And that's an iask as an o-ring ball gag.
If you, the way I look at it is if you can manipulate it
with enough around a person's body
and it works for the purpose, then it works
for the purpose. Go ahead.
- Are you, are you sure that I, I mask is an O-ring?
- Yes. I copy and paste straight from the question.
- Okay. 'cause there is a comma there.
- Right. The, there's a comma
after dining chair, comma, I will blah, blah, blah.
Mm-Hmm. , sorry. We're getting a grammar lesson
on how we do our Mm-Hmm.
. Yes. That is, this is the order of,
- Okay. Right. All right.
- And if I got it wrong
and misinterpreted the question that is
lifted from the email,
then the person needs to let me know, but yes.
Mm-Hmm. and I now iask as a blindfold.
- Absolutely. That and that's what I
immediately thought of. Right. Yeah.
- But an o-ring ball gag.
Now an O-ring ball gag in general, if you own it,
of course use it.
Yeah. But we're talking about
- You - Can stuff I have at home. Yeah.
- You can go to again, any hardware store
and buy an O-ring. Mm.
- And then what, like, do - Velcro
- Straps, - do, do Velcro straps or, or ribbon
or anything to, to bring it back and tie it back. Yeah.
- Yeah. So like I said, I could not envision
what the person is envisioning,
but my point is, if you can manipulate the thing Yeah.
To make it do what you wanna do
and it does not cause unwelcome harm
or pain to your partner.
Yeah. Then go for it. My brain is not imagining it
I mask as blindfold.
Absolutely. Like that's a, that's a given.
Um, I guess I would say if you're gonna turn something into
a ball gag, just be careful, mindful of, um, the material.
Make sure it's clean before somebody
has to put their mouth on it.
Um, and make sure, you know,
if your partner has any sensitivities
to any certain materials
that maybe should not touch their skin.
Yeah. But that would be the, um,
the only thing I could think of.
So then finally there is, can a yoga mat be used
for BDSM sex positions?
- I don't see why not.
- Here's the thing that I thought of.
It was actually, 'cause I think
most people go, well, of course you can.
Mm. That's a good question
because I have a cheapy, cheapy old as hell yoga mat
that slips and slides on carpet.
Ah. Like I'll bust my ass just trying to go into like
downward dog, whatever that pose is called.
I'm not a yoga person. Um,
and yet on a hardwood floor, it doesn't slip
and slide as much.
So if you're gonna be on a yoga mat mm-Hmm.
And contorting bodies make sure it's got the right kind
of traction .
So it does not slide out from under you
because that is how you end up in the er, uh,
with an awkward conversation about Mm-Hmm.
How did you get this injury?
So if you're using, if you're gonna use a yoga mat,
and I could see where you might,
maybe it makes the floor more comfortable,
maybe it has enough slip
and glide that a person can move their body on it better.
Mm-Hmm. , like, nothing wrong with that.
Just, just check to make sure it's not,
you're not gonna bust your ass is what I would say.
Yeah. So those are the
specific items this person asked about,
but let's talk about perverts in general.
What, um, what other items
and ideas have you utilized for perverts?
- Oh gosh. Um, I mean, a lot of the more common things like,
you know, ping pong paddles, uh, paint stirring sticks. We
- Broke, we broke, - We broke, we broke
- Hairbrush. We broke
- Hairbrush. . Yep.
- We definitely - Broke. Yeah. You know? Yeah.
We're a little rough with some of those toys. Mm-Hmm.
. Um,
but I mean, they, they can all be used. Um,
- We used our, um, coffee table,
which is just a cheapy little Ikea coffee table as kind
of a bondage spanking bench thing one time.
Yes. Uh, I laid over the top of the coffee table, uh,
face down and JB tied now with actual rope using Mm-Hmm.
, like rope bondage techniques tied my, uh,
arms or wrist to the front.
Mm-Hmm. To the legs to, and then my legs. Legs to the back.
Mm-Hmm. Other legs. And I was immobilized
and the dog was traumatized by .
Yes. . But that was using the table in a way
that it's clearly not really designed Mm-Hmm.
to be used. Mm-Hmm. So
that is, that is an option.
Mm-Hmm. of course. Mm-Hmm. . Um,
- Absolutely.
Um, what else? What else?
- Hmm. I mean, it's kind of, it's a, it's a necessity thing.
Like you don't have money to go out and buy Yeah.
Toys you wanna get your kink on.
And then it's a little bit of creative thinking.
So you look at an item
and go, could this be used for something kinky?
Mm-Hmm. , um, probably think of the,
there are considerations you have to think about, um,
what could the material do against your
partner's skin in that?
Could it cut them? Could it, um, rub them raw in a way
that they don't necessarily want to experience?
Is it a safe material to maybe put in the body or the mouth
or in, in any orifice Mm-Hmm.
of the body. Um, so you have
to consider those things.
Sure. Um, you also have to consider, as we're talking about,
we've broken many things in impact play.
These items are not necessarily designed for the use,
so they are not necessarily gonna hold up
and last as long Mm-Hmm.
, um, things like the paint stir sticks
from Lowe's.
You just have to go request those from the paint counter,
so you're not spending any money for that.
But a ping pong paddle Yeah.
You break one, you gotta go buy another.
And the way I kind of look at it is
assuming your budget permits,
once you start breaking per convertibles
and they're no longer functional,
it is likely up time, time to upgrade.
- And you, you've outgrown and
- Invest in Yeah.
A single paddle or whatever kind of right toy
- You're trying to, to do now, you know,
talking about being on a budget, um, you know,
if you do have a, a bit of a budget, uh, and,
and this was years ago, there was a, a group of folks
back at our, our old Munch, uh,
they would have a, a challenge between a certain group
of them, um, after the Munch.
There was a, a gap of time
before the, the dungeon opened and, and the play party.
And, and their thing was they go to Dollar Tree,
dollar General, any of the, the dollar stores
and see what they can find in there to make
as a pervert use As a per convertible.
- Yes. And sometimes they would have a budget
and sometimes it'd be like, whatever you wanna buy.
Yeah. Just go see if you can buy things. Mm-Hmm.
. Um, and sometimes it gets silly because Yeah.
The, the imagination might want the item to work
and in reality it's not going to,
but the fun is in the trying.
Yeah. Um, I recall one time being there for that,
and each person who like played along,
I think they had a different budget,
but one person only spent like $5.
Now this was when the Dollar tree was actually everything. A
- Dollar. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
- . - Yeah.
- But, um, , you know, it's, it is just a matter
of sort of letting your imagination run wild. And if you,
- Excuse me, - If you are the type of person that's like,
Ooh, my imagination's not that good,
that is what the internet is for.
Right. Uh, between fat life
and just any other place where, uh,
kinky humans gather online, you do a search for perverts,
somebody's got ideas and you'll go, oh, I never thought
of doing that with that thing.
What I've noticed, um, for us
and just other people, especially folks
who go, I'm not really that creative.
I don't come up with ideas.
Once you start seeing the world through a lens of
can I use that in kink, it becomes easier
to see other things that way.
Yes. It's a, a really a matter of gaining the experience of
and of just trying things. Um,
- It's one of those things almost like once you open your
eyes to it, you can't
- Exactly.
- Yeah. Unsee it again.
- Exactly. And that I can make, I can make things fun.
Mm-Hmm. , obviously, uh, if you don't know,
we are very biased on buying toys.
'cause JB makes toys. We sell toys at the kinky the ry.com.
Um, but that's not where we started. Yeah.
Um, that doesn't mean even now we won't use a pervert.
Uh, for a brief moment in time, J B's, uh,
Wartenberg wheel was, was left at another location,
, it took us a while to get it back.
And he is not above using a fork
or using a, um,
the prong things like on your barbecue grill to come.
Mm-Hmm. , I mean, if it's sharp
and he knows he won't cut me with it.
- Sharp, sharp and pointy, - He's gonna use it even now.
Mm-Hmm. . So, um, that's a, that's a thing
to kind of keep in mind, mind about perverts, you know?
Yeah. And yeah, if you don't, if you don't have a lot
of ideas, then let the internet guide you.
Mm-Hmm. that, that being said,
if you are watching
or listening to this, uh, near the time that it has been,
um, published, which is like mid ish March, kind of,
um, pink Kink podcast, our friend Rah has a class,
an online class about perverts.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. March 28th.
The link will be in the places if you are interested.
Um, check out the information, see if it's something
that will, will suit you.
Um, we love rah rah, she does good work. Yeah.
Um, so yeah, if you're like, Ooh, I'm, I'm into this idea
of perverts, but I don't know where to start.
Check out her class March 28th.
Um, but yeah, I mean, the things that this person,
uh, listed in their specific question, yeah,
it all sounds just fine.
Mm-Hmm. you just in the doing of it,
and in the process, you still need
to be mindful of risk factors.
Right. Some of what you might not know ,
until you get into the play.
If that is not a really sturdy chair
and your partner is bound to it
and they thrash, just know the chair might come apart.
Uhhuh, , , the, the yoga mat,
make sure it's not gonna slip everywhere.
Things like that. Just, just be aware. Mm-Hmm.
. And you can't, it's a little bit harder
to plan for risk factors in perverts if it's not like a
common one, because you kind of don't know
what might happen once you start interacting
with this non kink item.
Um, but yeah, it's, it's fine. Let your imagination go wild.
Always take like a, a beat
and think through how you plan on using it
and test it out on yourself and
or a partner if you can, to make sure it's not gonna cause,
you know, sensations they don't wanna feel.
But yeah, just go for it.
I, I promise you, once you get into the world
of perverts trips to any store,
become a lot more fun.
, or they take on all,
all new meaning when you do that.
Mm-Hmm. . So, yeah.
Uh, enjoy perverting whatever you have in your house. Right.
Get, get your kink on without spending a lot of money.
For sure. Mm-Hmm. . Yep. Thanks for listening
to this week's q and a episode.
If you want us to answer one of your questions,
just use the contact page on our website@lovingbdsm.net,
or you can find the link in the show notes.
Big thanks as always, to our kinky community over on
Patreon, we're able to do this podcast and keep it going
and help Sters due to your support.
If you'd like to be part of our community
and get access to extra content
and a Discord server with a group of super cool,
super nice kink sters, you can do that.
Just join us at patreon.com/kayla lords.
That's patreon.com/kayla lords,
or use the link in the show notes.