1 00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,485 - You are listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, 2 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:13,885 episode 3 87. 3 00:00:13,935 --> 00:00:15,525 Kayla, the Lord's Here're, the one, the only, 4 00:00:15,945 --> 00:00:18,245 the only person who can have a discussion with me. 5 00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:19,765 And it sounds to the outsiders, 6 00:00:19,925 --> 00:00:22,245 like we're actually arguing John Brownstone . 7 00:00:23,715 --> 00:00:24,965 - It's that Italian in me, 8 00:00:25,285 --> 00:00:26,285 - I think. 9 00:00:26,285 --> 00:00:30,405 So it's also that, um, I'm me . 10 00:00:31,945 --> 00:00:33,685 And once I feel safe with somebody, 11 00:00:34,475 --> 00:00:36,365 I'll let them know when I don't agree with them. 12 00:00:36,845 --> 00:00:41,045 . Until then, I will not, but yeah, yeah. 13 00:00:41,425 --> 00:00:45,685 Uh, no, we just recorded, uh, Monday's, um, podcast 14 00:00:46,475 --> 00:00:49,645 episode and we didn't disagree on anything, 15 00:00:49,645 --> 00:00:51,165 but there's a moment where I'm like, wow, 16 00:00:51,165 --> 00:00:53,605 we sound like we're unhappy with what . 17 00:00:54,265 --> 00:00:56,525 We really aren't. So if you get that vibe, 18 00:00:56,715 --> 00:00:57,965 just know we really aren't. 19 00:00:58,245 --> 00:00:59,365 I dunno what happened there. 20 00:00:59,845 --> 00:01:03,245 , , uh, that's not what we're here for. No. 21 00:01:03,345 --> 00:01:06,725 Uh, in this, this week's episode, this week, uh, we asked 22 00:01:07,185 --> 00:01:09,325 for your questions over at that handle 23 00:01:09,325 --> 00:01:10,845 that I will forever fucking hate. 24 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:16,325 Um, if you're like, why do you hate that handle? 25 00:01:16,455 --> 00:01:19,485 Check some of the previous q and a episodes. 26 00:01:19,725 --> 00:01:22,525 'cause it invariably gets asked and , I hate it. 27 00:01:22,525 --> 00:01:24,925 But I'll tell you this short, short, short story. 28 00:01:25,745 --> 00:01:27,365 The Instagram handle is hated 29 00:01:27,365 --> 00:01:29,085 because it is not our fucking name. 30 00:01:29,425 --> 00:01:32,885 And no, I can't change it. I there's a whole story there. 31 00:01:32,885 --> 00:01:35,045 I'm not getting into it. Anyway, anyway, it's, 32 00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:36,285 - Thank you, Mo let's move on. 33 00:01:36,285 --> 00:01:37,885 - It's hated it because it's not our name 34 00:01:37,945 --> 00:01:39,045 and No, I can't change it. 35 00:01:39,235 --> 00:01:42,125 Okay. Okay. Okay. Moving on. 36 00:01:42,875 --> 00:01:44,565 Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. 37 00:01:45,245 --> 00:01:48,085 , this is your first time listening. Yes. Yes. 38 00:01:48,085 --> 00:01:50,445 It's, it's often like this, and we're glad to have you. 39 00:01:50,715 --> 00:01:52,605 Hopefully we haven't scared you away. 40 00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:55,005 , if you're back for another week, welcome back. 41 00:01:55,225 --> 00:01:57,085 Loving BDSM is produced every Monday 42 00:01:57,085 --> 00:01:58,925 and Friday for your kinky pleasure in education. 43 00:01:58,925 --> 00:02:01,285 And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net. 44 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,165 Come back often and feel free to add the podcast 45 00:02:03,225 --> 00:02:04,525 to your favorite podcast app. 46 00:02:04,745 --> 00:02:08,365 You can also follow the show on FetLife at Loving b dsm PC 47 00:02:08,365 --> 00:02:12,685 that stands for podcast Y'all loving BDSM PC on Instagram 48 00:02:12,825 --> 00:02:14,005 and thread to that handle. 49 00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:16,685 I will forever fucking hate 50 00:02:17,385 --> 00:02:19,325 loving Ds and the number one. 51 00:02:19,465 --> 00:02:21,605 So that's at Loving DS one. 52 00:02:21,865 --> 00:02:24,285 Or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving 53 00:02:24,675 --> 00:02:25,765 bdsm, where you can watch us live. 54 00:02:25,765 --> 00:02:27,205 Stream the podcast every Wednesday. 55 00:02:27,585 --> 00:02:30,165 All links are in the show notes. Big thanks as always. 56 00:02:30,165 --> 00:02:31,885 To our kinky patrons over on Patreon, 57 00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:34,485 including our newest peeps, we're able to do this. 58 00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:37,285 That came out weird, including our newest peeps. 59 00:02:37,975 --> 00:02:40,525 We're able to do this weird thing on the internet in large 60 00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:41,925 part because of our kinky patrons, 61 00:02:41,925 --> 00:02:44,245 and we are grateful for every fucking one of you. 62 00:02:44,545 --> 00:02:46,765 Indeed. If you'd like to join our kinky community 63 00:02:46,765 --> 00:02:49,365 and get access to extra content, like an extra video, 64 00:02:49,425 --> 00:02:52,765 an extra podcast live stream, plus access 65 00:02:52,765 --> 00:02:55,405 to a Discord server with a bunch of super cool, 66 00:02:55,455 --> 00:02:57,165 super nice K Sters, you can do that. 67 00:02:57,355 --> 00:03:00,805 Just join us at Patreon, uh, patreon.com/kayla lords. 68 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,845 That's patreon.com/kayla lords, 69 00:03:04,065 --> 00:03:05,685 or use the link in the show notes. 70 00:03:07,115 --> 00:03:10,285 Okay. So before we get into the questions, uh, 71 00:03:10,485 --> 00:03:12,805 I just wanna do, uh, two things. 72 00:03:12,865 --> 00:03:14,805 One, a shameless plug for our Etsy shop, 73 00:03:14,805 --> 00:03:17,245 because I've been adding new stuff to it. 74 00:03:17,885 --> 00:03:21,285 Very proud of me. Um, added new shirts, added new, 75 00:03:21,385 --> 00:03:22,725 uh, coffee mugs. 76 00:03:22,725 --> 00:03:24,805 And these are the big 15 ounce coffee mugs. 77 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,485 I do not fuck with those little 11 ounce, 78 00:03:26,485 --> 00:03:29,525 like it's three sips of coffee or hot chocolate or hot tea. 79 00:03:29,625 --> 00:03:34,345 No, we are a 15 ounce mug entity over here. Okay. 80 00:03:34,625 --> 00:03:37,825 . So we have mugs on our Etsy shop. 81 00:03:37,905 --> 00:03:39,465 I just added more planner sheets. 82 00:03:40,165 --> 00:03:44,185 Um, Patreon at the $10 and up levels, get it for free. 83 00:03:44,765 --> 00:03:48,825 Um, patrons at lower levels get it at a crazy deep discount. 84 00:03:49,325 --> 00:03:51,865 Uh, but it's also just available if you are 85 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:52,945 looking for digital planner sheets. 86 00:03:53,085 --> 00:03:54,425 Yay. Okay. Etsy. 87 00:03:54,425 --> 00:03:55,705 And the link is in the places, 88 00:03:55,845 --> 00:03:58,105 but if you're like, I do not wanna go look at the places 89 00:03:58,245 --> 00:03:59,905 for the link, if you just go to Etsy 90 00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:02,305 and search loving BDSM, we pop right the fuck up. 91 00:04:02,725 --> 00:04:04,385 Uh, so yeah. 92 00:04:04,725 --> 00:04:08,625 Second, it's not meant to be a promotional announcement, 93 00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:10,385 but it's, it's a disclaimer. 94 00:04:11,455 --> 00:04:14,585 Most of the questions we received are about kink, 95 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,465 uh, DS, stuff like that. 96 00:04:16,985 --> 00:04:19,425 I think maybe something about us, but I can't remember. 97 00:04:19,515 --> 00:04:21,145 We'll figure it out as we go through the questions. 98 00:04:21,145 --> 00:04:22,945 However, I will 99 00:04:23,505 --> 00:04:26,145 absolutely have us answer questions about the kry, 100 00:04:26,145 --> 00:04:28,265 the kry.com JBS shop. 101 00:04:28,375 --> 00:04:31,985 Okay. . So if it seems a little 102 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,545 self-promotional, it fucking is the question was asked, 103 00:04:35,645 --> 00:04:36,985 we will answer it there. 104 00:04:37,095 --> 00:04:39,905 Okay. Disclaimer. Okay. Let's get into these questions. 105 00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:43,785 Uh, but I don't know, I don't know. 106 00:04:43,905 --> 00:04:47,185 I don't know if we'll be fast or if we will not be. 107 00:04:47,675 --> 00:04:52,505 First question. How can a submissive get over the age 108 00:04:52,645 --> 00:04:57,225 gap of someone the same age as your oldest child? 109 00:04:58,885 --> 00:05:01,985 So there's an age gap of someone. 110 00:05:02,205 --> 00:05:06,505 Is it that the age gap between you is the same amount 111 00:05:06,565 --> 00:05:10,985 as the oldest child or the age gap is so broad? 112 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:15,545 One partner is the age of the older partner's, 113 00:05:16,045 --> 00:05:18,705 oldest child, whichever way that's meant 114 00:05:18,705 --> 00:05:20,865 to go there is clearly Mm-Hmm. 115 00:05:20,905 --> 00:05:24,905 an age gap that is making somebody feel a way. 116 00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:28,065 Yeah. So I, first of all, I would say 117 00:05:29,515 --> 00:05:30,705 submissive dumb it. 118 00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,745 The question should be how can a person, 119 00:05:33,185 --> 00:05:34,545 I don't think the role matters. 120 00:05:35,685 --> 00:05:37,665 Um, what are your initial thoughts? 121 00:05:37,825 --> 00:05:39,625 I have thoughts, but what are your initial thoughts? 122 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:43,705 - Um, I don't know that that can be a tough one. 123 00:05:43,925 --> 00:05:47,865 It, you know, even for us in the beginning, 124 00:05:48,345 --> 00:05:50,105 I had a bit of a, um, 125 00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:54,425 concern about our age gap. Sure. 126 00:05:54,445 --> 00:05:56,065 - It was 18 years for sure. For 127 00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,065 - Sure. 128 00:05:57,065 --> 00:06:01,005 Yeah. And, uh, I, I kept trying to dissuade you. 129 00:06:01,955 --> 00:06:03,565 - Yeah. But here's the thing then. 130 00:06:03,945 --> 00:06:05,845 So this is not about this question. Yeah. No. 131 00:06:05,855 --> 00:06:08,245 We're gonna have, uh, relationship therapy here. . 132 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,485 You were weirded out by the age gap 133 00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:13,205 and tried to dissuade me. 134 00:06:13,425 --> 00:06:15,925 Mm-Hmm. , who was not at all 135 00:06:15,925 --> 00:06:17,405 weirded out by the age gap. 136 00:06:17,565 --> 00:06:21,765 I just did, I mean, did I check his family line 137 00:06:21,785 --> 00:06:23,485 to make sure there was longevity there? 138 00:06:23,485 --> 00:06:24,565 Sure, I did. Okay. 139 00:06:24,725 --> 00:06:27,205 I was a lot more comfortable once I realized that 140 00:06:27,785 --> 00:06:30,245 his family members tend to live to be in their eighties 141 00:06:30,245 --> 00:06:33,285 and nineties and close to or at a hundred. 142 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,485 Okay. I was feeling much better at that point. Mm-Hmm. 143 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,405 . But if you were uncomfortable about it, 144 00:06:38,905 --> 00:06:40,565 why would you have to dissuade me? 145 00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:43,125 - Because, because it's 146 00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:44,125 - Your feeling. 147 00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:46,285 I was like, sitting here chilling, . 148 00:06:46,645 --> 00:06:47,805 I was like, yeah, we're doing the thing. 149 00:06:48,425 --> 00:06:52,765 - You're right. And, um, you know, I, 150 00:06:53,045 --> 00:06:57,845 I don't know what the, the magical moment was for it. 151 00:06:57,915 --> 00:07:01,765 Okay. Um, but 152 00:07:01,895 --> 00:07:04,245 after we got to know each other 153 00:07:04,345 --> 00:07:07,725 and realized that we had a lot in common and, 154 00:07:07,825 --> 00:07:11,965 and we were compatible in so many ways, um, I 155 00:07:12,945 --> 00:07:16,645 didn't even really consider the age gap anymore. Mm-Hmm. 156 00:07:17,345 --> 00:07:20,285 - No. I mean, when my anxiety is, 157 00:07:20,905 --> 00:07:23,325 is anxiety, um, really bad. 158 00:07:23,325 --> 00:07:25,085 Mm-Hmm. when it's really bad, I don't, 159 00:07:25,465 --> 00:07:27,125 the worry I have about the age gap is 160 00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:31,685 that you will leave this earthly plane before me. 161 00:07:31,855 --> 00:07:35,005 Which I mean, odds are good. Odds are good. Mm-Hmm. 162 00:07:35,045 --> 00:07:37,125 Of course, I do point out that in my family, 163 00:07:38,035 --> 00:07:39,765 most of us don't get past our sixties, 164 00:07:40,065 --> 00:07:41,445 so we kind of even out. 165 00:07:41,445 --> 00:07:43,165 Right. , um, . 166 00:07:43,865 --> 00:07:45,325 But when my anxiety is high 167 00:07:45,425 --> 00:07:48,685 and I can't just, it, the worry won't shut off. 168 00:07:48,705 --> 00:07:50,445 My worry is always that I will lose you 169 00:07:50,445 --> 00:07:51,805 before I'm ready to lose you. 170 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,885 Mm-Hmm. , we are not having this conversation. 171 00:07:54,005 --> 00:07:54,965 'cause I'll start crying and then 172 00:07:54,965 --> 00:07:56,165 that'll be what I worry about tonight. 173 00:07:56,165 --> 00:07:58,005 Mm-Hmm. . 174 00:07:58,705 --> 00:08:00,845 Beyond that, I don't really think about the age gap. Right. 175 00:08:01,005 --> 00:08:02,005 I think it is just not a thing. 176 00:08:02,225 --> 00:08:04,245 My point to this question, here are my thoughts. 177 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,645 Let me pull it back up. 'cause I don't 178 00:08:06,645 --> 00:08:07,765 wanna misquote anything. 179 00:08:07,795 --> 00:08:12,485 Yeah. You can't make 180 00:08:12,885 --> 00:08:14,325 somebody get over a thing 181 00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:16,445 that maybe they're a little weirded out about. 182 00:08:17,195 --> 00:08:22,125 They either choose to have uncomfortable feelings 183 00:08:22,145 --> 00:08:25,165 and stay there until maybe they, they Mm-Hmm. 184 00:08:25,365 --> 00:08:27,365 time, I mean, time after time. Yeah. 185 00:08:27,365 --> 00:08:30,045 And, and a little bit deeper into the relationship. 186 00:08:30,065 --> 00:08:31,405 You Mm-Hmm. were fine with it. 187 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:33,045 It stopped being a weird thing. Right. 188 00:08:33,185 --> 00:08:35,605 - And I, and I think that's, that's absolutely the, 189 00:08:35,625 --> 00:08:39,445 the best point of that is that, you know, there, there is no 190 00:08:40,175 --> 00:08:41,525 magic bullet for that. 191 00:08:42,185 --> 00:08:43,805 - No. And a person gets to have, this is one 192 00:08:43,925 --> 00:08:45,045 of those times where this is preference. 193 00:08:45,045 --> 00:08:47,005 Mm-Hmm. , a person gets to go, no, 194 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:48,445 that's too big of a gap for me. 195 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,605 Or that's too young of a person for me. Yeah. 196 00:08:50,665 --> 00:08:52,925 Or that this just weirds me out a bit 197 00:08:52,985 --> 00:08:54,525 and I don't wanna do this. 198 00:08:54,745 --> 00:08:56,805 And so a person gets to decide that. 199 00:08:57,665 --> 00:09:01,405 If they are saying, okay, this is weird to me, 200 00:09:01,545 --> 00:09:04,325 but I want to explore this relationship 201 00:09:04,355 --> 00:09:06,285 with you, then mm-Hmm. 202 00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:08,245 they're acknowledging their weird feelings, 203 00:09:08,245 --> 00:09:09,325 but I don't wanna say weird. 204 00:09:09,325 --> 00:09:10,365 They're not weird. They're, 205 00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:14,565 they're acknowledging their fears and, and saying, 206 00:09:14,585 --> 00:09:16,525 but here, let's find out what happens. 207 00:09:16,665 --> 00:09:19,285 Now what that might mean is they go along this path 208 00:09:19,305 --> 00:09:21,445 and that never stops being a problem for them. 209 00:09:21,705 --> 00:09:23,525 And then that's an incompatibility. Yeah. 210 00:09:23,785 --> 00:09:26,445 It could be that it becomes normal to them. 211 00:09:26,785 --> 00:09:30,165 Um, either, you know, are they worried about, um, 212 00:09:31,245 --> 00:09:33,925 pushback from strangers, from family members, from friends? 213 00:09:33,975 --> 00:09:35,925 Right. Are they worried about, 214 00:09:36,105 --> 00:09:39,485 are they basing their discomfort on things 215 00:09:39,595 --> 00:09:42,805 that they have heard other people say about age gaps? 216 00:09:42,835 --> 00:09:47,085 Like if there's a reason for 217 00:09:47,705 --> 00:09:49,885 the age, the, the discomfort 218 00:09:50,195 --> 00:09:53,845 that is not purely about this just makes me uncomfortable. 219 00:09:53,865 --> 00:09:56,365 And it's more of a here are my fears. Mm-Hmm. 220 00:09:56,405 --> 00:09:57,765 , here are my worries. Yeah. 221 00:09:58,035 --> 00:09:59,165 Then maybe there's room 222 00:09:59,185 --> 00:10:01,085 for a conversation about those fears and worries. 223 00:10:01,085 --> 00:10:02,685 And then it's just a matter of time. Yeah. 224 00:10:02,865 --> 00:10:05,565 But always, always, always a person gets to go. Yeah. 225 00:10:05,745 --> 00:10:07,645 No, that's for me. 226 00:10:07,905 --> 00:10:10,325 Now, first of all, I can't imagine being 227 00:10:10,325 --> 00:10:11,485 with anybody younger than me. 228 00:10:11,705 --> 00:10:14,045 I'm just not usually built that way. 229 00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:16,645 They'd have, I mean, they'd have to come 230 00:10:16,645 --> 00:10:20,605 with some strong ass, do energy, like strong . 231 00:10:20,605 --> 00:10:22,765 They'd have to be one of those old soul people 232 00:10:22,905 --> 00:10:25,365 to be younger than me and to appeal to me. 233 00:10:26,195 --> 00:10:28,965 That being said, when I think about it in sort of the, 234 00:10:30,795 --> 00:10:32,125 there's a word I wanted 235 00:10:32,125 --> 00:10:34,645 and I can't think of it, um, abstract. 236 00:10:35,955 --> 00:10:40,485 Anybody who is close to my child's age, that 237 00:10:40,485 --> 00:10:41,605 that's always gonna be too young. 238 00:10:41,905 --> 00:10:44,085 If I can do the math in my head 239 00:10:44,105 --> 00:10:47,205 and go, I could have birthed you 240 00:10:47,905 --> 00:10:49,925 for me, that, that's too young. That's, 241 00:10:49,925 --> 00:10:51,605 - That's your the boundary that gets to my choice. 242 00:10:51,705 --> 00:10:53,445 That's a boundary for you. Yeah. Right. 243 00:10:53,745 --> 00:10:55,325 - And that's okay. That doesn't mean 244 00:10:55,325 --> 00:10:57,205 that I look at other people with age gaps 245 00:10:57,205 --> 00:10:58,685 that I would not engage in 246 00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:00,845 and go, oh, they're wrong. I just go, it's 247 00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:01,685 - Not for you. It's not 248 00:11:01,685 --> 00:11:02,685 - For me. 249 00:11:02,685 --> 00:11:03,605 Yeah. So, yeah. 250 00:11:03,905 --> 00:11:05,645 - And - It's mostly time and comfort. 251 00:11:05,785 --> 00:11:06,845 If they're time and comfort, they're 252 00:11:06,845 --> 00:11:07,965 willing to try to work through it. 253 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,405 - And, and I, and I think a lot of what you have 254 00:11:10,405 --> 00:11:13,245 to think about too is, you know, are, are both 255 00:11:13,265 --> 00:11:15,885 of you consenting adults? 256 00:11:15,985 --> 00:11:17,325 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. , you know? 257 00:11:17,325 --> 00:11:20,085 Mm-Hmm. . Do you both consent to this? Right. 258 00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:24,725 And, you know, nobody is being 259 00:11:25,035 --> 00:11:26,605 hurt by this. 260 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:30,765 And, and you have a compatibility with your kink. 261 00:11:31,265 --> 00:11:35,205 You know, if you are looking for something beyond the kink 262 00:11:35,265 --> 00:11:38,565 and, and there is a compatibility outside of the kink, 263 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:42,445 then you know, really nothing wrong with it. Right. 264 00:11:42,645 --> 00:11:44,045 - I, I think it comes down to where's 265 00:11:44,045 --> 00:11:45,165 the discomfort coming from? 266 00:11:46,065 --> 00:11:48,885 You know, if it's just a note, this is, this is too much 267 00:11:48,885 --> 00:11:51,165 for me, then that, that is what it is. 268 00:11:51,905 --> 00:11:54,645 If it's a, I'm uncertain about this, 269 00:11:54,785 --> 00:11:56,445 but I'm interested in you, that's different. 270 00:11:56,445 --> 00:11:58,005 And that's time and trust. Mm-Hmm. . 271 00:11:58,265 --> 00:12:02,005 But then the, the ultimate decision can still be, uh, no, 272 00:12:02,045 --> 00:12:03,405 I still don't, I still don't like this one. 273 00:12:03,405 --> 00:12:04,845 Yeah. And that's okay. Mm-Hmm. . Okay. 274 00:12:05,155 --> 00:12:09,405 Next question. Uh, how to talk to a partner about us stuff 275 00:12:09,955 --> 00:12:11,525 when they're having a tough time 276 00:12:11,705 --> 00:12:13,045 and then they go, I've been waiting, 277 00:12:13,045 --> 00:12:14,565 which makes me think they've been waiting 278 00:12:14,585 --> 00:12:16,045 to talk about the US stuff 279 00:12:16,825 --> 00:12:18,285 and the partner is having a hard time. 280 00:12:18,285 --> 00:12:19,725 Yeah. Um, what are your 281 00:12:19,725 --> 00:12:21,165 thoughts? Um, because we've been there. 282 00:12:22,165 --> 00:12:24,805 - I, I don't think there is a good time. Never. 283 00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,965 You know, there, there, if you wait for the perfect moment, 284 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,005 that perfect moment will never appear. 285 00:12:31,545 --> 00:12:34,045 Or that perfect moment will pass so quickly. 286 00:12:34,925 --> 00:12:36,605 - . Right. , - You know. 287 00:12:37,795 --> 00:12:39,765 - Yeah. No, I, I think there you have to look 288 00:12:39,765 --> 00:12:41,485 for the good enough moment . Yeah. 289 00:12:42,145 --> 00:12:45,445 - You know, and, and, and you just kind of need to sit down 290 00:12:46,545 --> 00:12:47,765 and, and talk it out. 291 00:12:47,985 --> 00:12:50,565 - But here's the thing. If, if your partner is going 292 00:12:50,565 --> 00:12:52,605 through a tough time and they acknowledge that they're going 293 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,325 through a tough time, and you can, you, you are like, yeah, 294 00:12:55,405 --> 00:12:56,645 I see this, this is a tough time. 295 00:12:57,075 --> 00:12:59,125 It's not that you never talk about it, it's 296 00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:02,685 that likely you plan it a little further in advance instead 297 00:13:02,685 --> 00:13:04,205 of jumping at the time. 298 00:13:04,205 --> 00:13:06,165 You're like, Ooh, this could be the time. Mm-Hmm. 299 00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,285 that will probably not do any good 300 00:13:08,285 --> 00:13:10,605 unless it's something that they are eager 301 00:13:10,705 --> 00:13:12,045 to talk to you about as well. 302 00:13:12,065 --> 00:13:13,205 And they're coming to you to go, 303 00:13:13,205 --> 00:13:14,645 Hey, I'm feeling good right now. 304 00:13:14,695 --> 00:13:17,765 Let's do this. If you're up for it, that might happen. 305 00:13:17,975 --> 00:13:20,285 Great. If it does, most likely though, , 306 00:13:21,545 --> 00:13:24,245 you're gonna have to go, Hey, I know you're going 307 00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:26,685 through a tough time, but there's some stuff 308 00:13:27,145 --> 00:13:28,205 we need to talk about. 309 00:13:28,345 --> 00:13:30,085 And I've been waiting however long you've been waiting, 310 00:13:30,305 --> 00:13:31,765 and maybe it's an ongoing issue. 311 00:13:31,765 --> 00:13:32,925 And they even did that whole thing. 312 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:34,205 We will talk about it later. 313 00:13:34,555 --> 00:13:35,805 There's nothing wrong with going, 314 00:13:35,865 --> 00:13:37,725 and you said we would talk about this later. 315 00:13:38,345 --> 00:13:41,045 Uh, let us, can we plan a time this weekend? 316 00:13:41,115 --> 00:13:42,485 Your day off Mm-Hmm. this evening, 317 00:13:42,795 --> 00:13:47,125 like enough in advance that they don't maybe feel like it's, 318 00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:48,925 it's happening like in the next five 319 00:13:48,925 --> 00:13:49,965 minutes and they're unprepared. 320 00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:53,285 Yeah. But not so far in advance that it's really easy to go, 321 00:13:53,785 --> 00:13:55,285 you know, oh, you know, 322 00:13:55,285 --> 00:13:56,725 something can come up or get in the way of it. 323 00:13:56,825 --> 00:13:59,405 So a couple of days the following weekend Mm-Hmm. 324 00:13:59,445 --> 00:14:01,445 like wherever you're at, and just fucking plan 325 00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:03,725 the conversation and go, look, I know 326 00:14:04,155 --> 00:14:05,445 that this is a rough time for you, 327 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,645 so maybe we don't do the whole conversation, 328 00:14:07,745 --> 00:14:09,285 but I need 20 minutes. 329 00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,605 I need to deal with this one issue 330 00:14:11,605 --> 00:14:12,845 instead of maybe all of the 331 00:14:12,845 --> 00:14:13,845 - Issues. 332 00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:15,165 And, you know, what if, if the other person is going 333 00:14:15,165 --> 00:14:17,085 through, through a rough time, you know, 334 00:14:17,085 --> 00:14:18,525 whether they're busy at work or, you know, 335 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:23,205 other things are going on, um, you know, make it so it, 336 00:14:23,275 --> 00:14:24,765 it's a little bit more relaxing. 337 00:14:24,825 --> 00:14:27,925 You know, do it over a, a favorite dessert or Mm-Hmm. 338 00:14:27,965 --> 00:14:29,285 , you know, a meal 339 00:14:29,465 --> 00:14:30,885 or, or something like that, you know? Right. 340 00:14:30,885 --> 00:14:32,005 - Go for a walk together. Yeah. 341 00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:36,645 Have time where you're together in as stress free of 342 00:14:37,165 --> 00:14:38,285 a moment as possible. 343 00:14:38,285 --> 00:14:39,365 Right. So like, if you have, 344 00:14:39,425 --> 00:14:40,805 if you're raising children together, 345 00:14:41,155 --> 00:14:42,485 make sure it's not at a time when 346 00:14:42,485 --> 00:14:43,525 they're screaming in the background. 347 00:14:43,525 --> 00:14:45,805 Right. . Yeah. Oh yeah. 348 00:14:46,745 --> 00:14:49,165 If you work like odd schedules 349 00:14:49,165 --> 00:14:51,885 and maybe you, your schedules don't always line up. 350 00:14:52,435 --> 00:14:53,965 This might mean it takes a little bit longer, 351 00:14:54,025 --> 00:14:56,845 but look for a time when you will be together. 352 00:14:56,905 --> 00:15:00,645 Mm-Hmm. . Um, but yeah, I, it is very, 353 00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:03,845 very easy to put off a spontaneous conversation 354 00:15:03,845 --> 00:15:04,845 that you know needs to happen 355 00:15:04,995 --> 00:15:07,005 because you'll wait for the quote. 356 00:15:07,005 --> 00:15:08,645 Perfect time. And that never, 357 00:15:08,645 --> 00:15:09,925 like you said, that never exists. 358 00:15:09,945 --> 00:15:13,125 Mm-Hmm. better to just approach your person 359 00:15:13,265 --> 00:15:16,045 and go, Hey, we need, we need to have this conversation. 360 00:15:16,825 --> 00:15:18,245 Remind them if it was something 361 00:15:18,245 --> 00:15:20,205 that's already been brought up and then schedule it. 362 00:15:20,235 --> 00:15:23,605 Yeah. And that is, it's not perfect, but it's better. 363 00:15:23,625 --> 00:15:26,245 You'll, you might even have to reschedule a couple of times, 364 00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:28,845 but eventually you can get there, assuming 365 00:15:29,395 --> 00:15:30,885 that they're willing to do that with you. 366 00:15:31,185 --> 00:15:33,285 And if they're not willing to do that with you, I, 367 00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:35,645 I feel like you got deeper issues, is all I'm saying. 368 00:15:35,715 --> 00:15:37,285 True. True. Next question. 369 00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:40,285 If you could create your own personal playroom, 370 00:15:40,285 --> 00:15:42,325 would JB be able to build the furniture? 371 00:15:43,345 --> 00:15:46,485 - Um, I think I would. 372 00:15:47,305 --> 00:15:49,925 - Do you anticipate, like we've talked about, um, a St. 373 00:15:49,925 --> 00:15:51,605 Andrew's cross a spanking bench Mm-Hmm. 374 00:15:51,645 --> 00:15:53,485 of which you can get plans for those things on 375 00:15:53,665 --> 00:15:54,685 how you can purchase plans, correct? 376 00:15:54,685 --> 00:15:56,245 Mm-Hmm. , do you feel based on 377 00:15:56,245 --> 00:15:58,645 what you know about those things, that you have the tools 378 00:15:59,305 --> 00:16:01,045 or would it require a new tool? 379 00:16:03,565 --> 00:16:04,845 - I think I got what it takes. 380 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:07,125 - I know you do . I know you do. 381 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:12,285 That has never stopped you from wanting a new tool. Sorry. 382 00:16:13,425 --> 00:16:15,845 - You know, didn't I, didn't I send you that, um, 383 00:16:16,695 --> 00:16:19,925 thing about, about the tools, about how you, 384 00:16:20,025 --> 00:16:21,325 you buy a tool Yes. 385 00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:24,285 And you use it to do a job tool math. Yeah. Yeah. Tool 386 00:16:24,285 --> 00:16:25,285 - Math. 387 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,365 Right. And eventually it's, so it's invaluable because 388 00:16:27,425 --> 00:16:28,685 - It, it is invaluable. Saved 389 00:16:28,685 --> 00:16:29,565 - You tens of thousands, - Save 390 00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:30,765 saves you tens of thousands dollars. 391 00:16:30,985 --> 00:16:34,445 And with that sa money that you saved, you buy more tools. 392 00:16:35,055 --> 00:16:37,925 - Right. But we are, we are broke. Broke, so no, we do not 393 00:16:37,925 --> 00:16:38,525 - Do that. 394 00:16:39,505 --> 00:16:40,505 - No. 395 00:16:40,505 --> 00:16:41,885 We can't even put our thermostat on the 396 00:16:41,885 --> 00:16:42,965 temperature we want it on, 397 00:16:43,065 --> 00:16:44,065 - On. 398 00:16:44,065 --> 00:16:44,885 I know, right? Okay. Yeah. No, no, 399 00:16:45,345 --> 00:16:46,405 - I'm with it. But with what you currently 400 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:48,485 - Have, but anyway, but with what I currently have, 401 00:16:48,725 --> 00:16:50,965 I would feel comfortable to say yes. 402 00:16:51,115 --> 00:16:53,485 - Okay. With the skills you have as well. Yes. 403 00:16:53,505 --> 00:16:54,965 You feel like you've got what you need. Yes. 404 00:16:54,965 --> 00:16:59,565 You could do it. Yes. There you go. Okay. This one, . 405 00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:03,325 - No, - This question is sort of a big broad question. 406 00:17:03,465 --> 00:17:06,685 So I'm, we will not be able to give a complete answer 407 00:17:06,685 --> 00:17:08,165 because that would be a whole episode, 408 00:17:08,225 --> 00:17:10,085 but we will do our best. 409 00:17:10,765 --> 00:17:14,485 I have just discovered at 45 female that I'm into BDSM 410 00:17:14,485 --> 00:17:15,925 and definitely a service sub. 411 00:17:16,065 --> 00:17:17,245 How do I get started? 412 00:17:19,465 --> 00:17:22,325 - Say that again. - I'm 45 female Uhhuh , 413 00:17:22,325 --> 00:17:25,845 and I'm just figured out I'm a service sub and into BDSM. 414 00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,125 How do I get started? 415 00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:32,085 - Um, find a munch or a community and, and you 416 00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,285 - Always wanna send people out into the wild, oh, 417 00:17:35,025 --> 00:17:38,085 you just learned what letters BDSM stand for, go 418 00:17:38,085 --> 00:17:40,085 to a man, , and I'm over here. 419 00:17:40,085 --> 00:17:42,685 Like, I want you to find some videos, a podcast, 420 00:17:43,925 --> 00:17:45,205 a blog, a book. 421 00:17:45,445 --> 00:17:47,965 I would like you to educate yourself, . 422 00:17:49,465 --> 00:17:51,045 So basically you could do both of those things 423 00:17:51,105 --> 00:17:52,845 or pick the one that actually fits your personality. 424 00:17:52,875 --> 00:17:54,365 Some people are extroverts, so like, 425 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,685 you're telling me there are meetups 426 00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:58,365 and I could go both eat a delicious meal 427 00:17:58,785 --> 00:17:59,885 and meet new people. 428 00:17:59,885 --> 00:18:00,925 They're they're there 429 00:18:00,925 --> 00:18:01,925 - For it. 430 00:18:01,925 --> 00:18:02,925 And, and discuss kinky things. They're 431 00:18:02,925 --> 00:18:03,925 - There for it. 432 00:18:03,925 --> 00:18:04,645 Yeah. That's a great, that's a great 433 00:18:04,645 --> 00:18:05,685 way to get started, right? 434 00:18:06,105 --> 00:18:08,605 For the rest of us, normal human beings 435 00:18:08,705 --> 00:18:09,925 who are like, hell no. 436 00:18:10,305 --> 00:18:13,605 - Uh, wait, I don't, I think you have that flipped 437 00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:15,925 - . 438 00:18:15,925 --> 00:18:19,925 Anyway, my advice for the person who's not gonna run out 439 00:18:19,925 --> 00:18:23,285 to a munch on their first day in k uh, is 440 00:18:23,305 --> 00:18:25,125 to keep learning as much as you can. 441 00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:27,485 And learning can look like a lot of different things. 442 00:18:27,805 --> 00:18:30,965 I mean, it is okay, you know, you're a service sub. 443 00:18:30,965 --> 00:18:32,685 Well, maybe you learn more about what 444 00:18:32,685 --> 00:18:34,205 that can look like and what that can mean. 445 00:18:34,745 --> 00:18:39,645 Um, there is, uh, just learning what BDSM means. 446 00:18:39,665 --> 00:18:42,885 Oh, here's, here's a shameless self-promotion. 447 00:18:43,325 --> 00:18:45,245 Shameless. 448 00:18:45,865 --> 00:18:49,285 We have a workbook on our Etsy shop called 30 Days of Ds. 449 00:18:49,755 --> 00:18:51,525 It's the very first thing we ever made. 450 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,765 And, um, it's been refined and improved over the years. 451 00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:58,565 Mm-Hmm. . And it is designed specifically 452 00:18:58,565 --> 00:18:59,565 for the newbie who's like, 453 00:18:59,645 --> 00:19:00,965 I don't even know what I don't know. 454 00:19:01,055 --> 00:19:04,645 Right. Because yeah, when you realize you're kinky 455 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,525 and you're like, oh, there's this entire world 456 00:19:06,525 --> 00:19:07,965 of BDSM trying 457 00:19:07,965 --> 00:19:11,365 to learn about it can be like drinking from a fire hose. 458 00:19:11,365 --> 00:19:13,405 Like it's just too much coming at you all at once 459 00:19:13,675 --> 00:19:14,805 with 30 days of Ds. 460 00:19:14,805 --> 00:19:16,685 We broke it up into 30 days. 461 00:19:16,745 --> 00:19:17,925 But it could take as long as it takes 462 00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:19,725 with prompts and concepts. 463 00:19:19,865 --> 00:19:22,805 You can piece by piece start figuring out 464 00:19:22,805 --> 00:19:24,165 what these different concepts are 465 00:19:24,465 --> 00:19:25,605 and how you feel about them. 466 00:19:26,025 --> 00:19:27,765 So that's one way. Find something like that. 467 00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:32,085 Um, as somebody who's submissive is this question, um, 468 00:19:32,595 --> 00:19:35,085 indicates, uh, there's sites like Submissive Guide, 469 00:19:35,085 --> 00:19:36,125 which is a great one, right. 470 00:19:36,605 --> 00:19:37,645 Specifically for submissives. 471 00:19:38,025 --> 00:19:41,005 Um, there's the new bottoming book, which isn't just 472 00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:43,165 for submissives, but there's definitely plenty there. 473 00:19:43,745 --> 00:19:46,245 Mm-Hmm. . If, if you know you're not great at 474 00:19:46,405 --> 00:19:48,245 communication, go ahead and just get tongue 475 00:19:48,245 --> 00:19:50,245 tied by Stella Harris. Um, 476 00:19:51,075 --> 00:19:52,075 - Yeah. 477 00:19:52,075 --> 00:19:52,085 And improve your 478 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,565 communication skills, an excellent, excellent book. 479 00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:55,045 - 'cause you're gonna need 'em. Somebody said in the live 480 00:19:55,045 --> 00:19:58,005 chat, ignore FetLife dom dms. 481 00:19:58,105 --> 00:20:00,205 Yep. Yep. You can go on fe life. 482 00:20:00,205 --> 00:20:01,765 There's nothing wrong with that. Mm-Hmm. . 483 00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:05,285 Um, but you're probably gonna wanna ignore most 484 00:20:05,425 --> 00:20:07,205 of the unsolicited dms 485 00:20:07,225 --> 00:20:08,225 - You get. 486 00:20:08,225 --> 00:20:12,405 Right. Fe fe life can be a, 487 00:20:12,605 --> 00:20:14,805 a double-edged sword of sorts. 488 00:20:14,805 --> 00:20:19,005 Okay. There is a lot of great information on there, um, 489 00:20:19,625 --> 00:20:22,525 groups where you can learn things about, you know, 490 00:20:23,015 --> 00:20:24,165 being a submissive 491 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,885 or, you know, different, different aspects of, 492 00:20:26,945 --> 00:20:28,005 of being a mask is, 493 00:20:28,145 --> 00:20:29,605 and anything you wanna learn about, 494 00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:31,365 you can pretty much find it on FetLife. 495 00:20:31,745 --> 00:20:36,525 Um, the other side to that, um, it is a social media site, 496 00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:40,445 so you're going to get all the kaka 497 00:20:40,445 --> 00:20:41,725 that comes along with that. 498 00:20:41,855 --> 00:20:43,965 - Right. And, and it's gonna be more nudity 499 00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:47,765 because at least on the, the non-sexual social media, 500 00:20:47,835 --> 00:20:49,325 they technically don't allow it. 501 00:20:49,325 --> 00:20:51,605 Mostly except for Twitter. Because Twitter is Twitter. 502 00:20:51,665 --> 00:20:53,285 Mm-Hmm. . And so you might, you, 503 00:20:53,305 --> 00:20:56,605 you just see less of it on like a Facebook or an Instagram 504 00:20:56,625 --> 00:20:58,925 or wherever, but on fat, you are guaranteed 505 00:20:59,065 --> 00:21:00,845 to see all of the body parts. 506 00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:03,085 Yeah. Um, it's, and that's fine. 507 00:21:03,085 --> 00:21:04,645 People can do what they want on their own page. Mm-Hmm. 508 00:21:04,685 --> 00:21:06,725 it's more of the, you know, 509 00:21:07,465 --> 00:21:09,885 get somebody sliding into your dms and being grotesque. 510 00:21:09,995 --> 00:21:14,125 - Yeah. So, you know, you, you, while FetLife in 511 00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:18,965 and of itself is a, a, a good tool to use, um, you know, 512 00:21:18,985 --> 00:21:22,925 you also have to learn about block button 513 00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:24,805 and, you know, ignoring folks 514 00:21:25,105 --> 00:21:27,325 - And on every social media channel. 515 00:21:27,325 --> 00:21:32,085 Yeah. Just, yeah. Um, okay. Next question. 516 00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:34,045 Mm-Hmm. , do you guys 517 00:21:34,045 --> 00:21:35,205 ever wish you were vanilla? 518 00:21:37,685 --> 00:21:40,125 I live the vanilla life and I have completely rejected it. 519 00:21:40,465 --> 00:21:43,445 No, no, no. I'm so grateful. No. That 520 00:21:43,465 --> 00:21:44,465 - I'm not living, living that life. 521 00:21:44,465 --> 00:21:45,805 No. I, I, I had to think about it 522 00:21:46,145 --> 00:21:47,485 for a second there, but, you know. 523 00:21:47,715 --> 00:21:49,525 Yeah. No. Mm-Hmm. Nom, 524 00:21:49,525 --> 00:21:50,525 - Nope. 525 00:21:50,525 --> 00:21:53,445 I am more fulfilled as a human being. 526 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:58,525 I have a better relationship than I've ever had ever, uh, 527 00:21:58,545 --> 00:22:01,845 my communication skills have just gotten fucking better. 528 00:22:02,425 --> 00:22:06,125 Um, I know more about myself than I ever thought. Mm-Hmm. 529 00:22:06,165 --> 00:22:08,605 possible. Mm-Hmm. . I feel more 530 00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:10,525 myself than I ever thought possible. 531 00:22:10,635 --> 00:22:13,685 It's all, it's all because I went, oh, yeah, I'm kinky, 532 00:22:13,685 --> 00:22:14,965 and here's, let's go figure out what that means. 533 00:22:15,505 --> 00:22:18,925 Um, and then to be in a relationship with somebody who is my 534 00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,405 complimentary counterpart. 535 00:22:22,185 --> 00:22:25,605 And even when it's rough, it's still fucking worth it. 536 00:22:25,705 --> 00:22:26,765 And, you know, yeah. 537 00:22:26,955 --> 00:22:29,685 It's still better than not being together 538 00:22:29,905 --> 00:22:31,725 and not being kinky, so. Yeah. Yeah. 539 00:22:32,065 --> 00:22:34,325 - And, and you know, it's funny, silent mention, 540 00:22:34,325 --> 00:22:37,485 you're not safe, uh, from dms, you know, 541 00:22:39,465 --> 00:22:42,605 on just on fe, you know, instant Tumblr, all of them. 542 00:22:42,865 --> 00:22:44,845 All, all of them. Uh, you know, my 543 00:22:44,845 --> 00:22:46,245 - Twitter dms are grotesque as well. 544 00:22:46,425 --> 00:22:50,805 - If, if you, you know, are on one of those spaces and, 545 00:22:50,905 --> 00:22:54,685 and you identify, you know, as in either way, shape 546 00:22:54,685 --> 00:22:58,325 or form as, as kinky, um, you're gonna get messages. 547 00:22:58,905 --> 00:23:00,805 You would not believe the amount 548 00:23:00,805 --> 00:23:05,765 of messages I get on Instagram asking me to submit 549 00:23:06,625 --> 00:23:07,625 - So adorable. 550 00:23:07,625 --> 00:23:09,285 Yeah. It's like they don't read bios, right. 551 00:23:09,565 --> 00:23:11,565 - ? Um, - Yeah. Okay. Next question. 552 00:23:12,705 --> 00:23:15,125 How do you budget for kink 553 00:23:15,305 --> 00:23:19,605 or cost save for quality products and items? 554 00:23:19,715 --> 00:23:21,005 Leather especially Mm-Hmm. 555 00:23:21,045 --> 00:23:22,085 Like how do you budget for your, 556 00:23:22,115 --> 00:23:25,405 your kink stuff, your, um, products, your toys, your, 557 00:23:26,475 --> 00:23:27,475 - Just like anything else. 558 00:23:27,475 --> 00:23:29,525 Do just make our own . Well, well, we, yeah. 559 00:23:29,545 --> 00:23:32,085 For us, for the most part, we make, make our own on a lot 560 00:23:32,085 --> 00:23:35,845 of the things, but, um, it's, 561 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:39,285 it's no different than, uh, budgeting for 562 00:23:41,025 --> 00:23:44,645 say like, um, you know, for a coffee allowance. 563 00:23:45,075 --> 00:23:47,205 Sure. You know, for the, for the month. 564 00:23:47,705 --> 00:23:52,405 Um, you know, you, you take it, it's like anything else. 565 00:23:52,545 --> 00:23:55,965 You, you see something you want, um, you know, yes. 566 00:23:55,965 --> 00:23:58,125 Quality toys are not cheap. No. 567 00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:01,845 You know, and, and you maybe have a swear jar. You know? 568 00:24:01,985 --> 00:24:04,445 My gosh, if, if we had a swear jar in this house every time 569 00:24:04,445 --> 00:24:06,365 this one dropped an f-bomb, we, 570 00:24:06,385 --> 00:24:08,725 we could buy more shit than we don't have 571 00:24:08,825 --> 00:24:11,685 - Enough money to cover a swear jar 572 00:24:13,245 --> 00:24:14,245 - . 573 00:24:14,315 --> 00:24:15,365 - Yeah. If we had a swear jar, 574 00:24:15,365 --> 00:24:17,405 maybe I could set the thermostat 72 year round 575 00:24:17,755 --> 00:24:18,765 just saying . 576 00:24:20,065 --> 00:24:24,525 - But yeah, I, I mean, it's just a matter of, you know, kind 577 00:24:24,525 --> 00:24:25,725 of factoring into your budget. 578 00:24:26,015 --> 00:24:27,405 - Right? And it's, it's a matter 579 00:24:27,405 --> 00:24:29,525 of figuring out what's important to you in terms of 580 00:24:29,715 --> 00:24:30,925 what is it you really want. 581 00:24:30,925 --> 00:24:33,045 Right. And what you can afford. So, Mm-Hmm. 582 00:24:33,085 --> 00:24:34,045 gonna have to look at your own 583 00:24:34,205 --> 00:24:34,525 personal budget. 584 00:24:34,525 --> 00:24:36,325 What's your income? What are your expenses? Right. 585 00:24:36,665 --> 00:24:39,045 Is this something that you save up for long term? 586 00:24:40,105 --> 00:24:43,285 That's one thing. Um, I, I recognize anybody 587 00:24:43,285 --> 00:24:44,885 who cringed at that because they're impatient. 588 00:24:45,005 --> 00:24:48,645 I too, 'em impatient. I have a, and I can't always do it, 589 00:24:49,105 --> 00:24:51,405 but I have a little auto savings thing. 590 00:24:51,435 --> 00:24:53,325 It's 10 bucks a month, it just goes over there. 591 00:24:53,395 --> 00:24:54,805 What am I gonna do with it? I don't know. 592 00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:56,525 It's just happening. It's just going over there. 593 00:24:57,145 --> 00:25:00,365 And if I think about it too hard, I will be very impatient. 594 00:25:00,465 --> 00:25:03,165 $10 each month is not a lot. Right? Yeah. 595 00:25:03,385 --> 00:25:05,445 Um, maybe for other people it's $10 in a week. 596 00:25:05,445 --> 00:25:06,485 It's a hundred dollars in a month, 597 00:25:06,545 --> 00:25:08,565 you just put it to the side somewhere. 598 00:25:08,625 --> 00:25:11,885 Mm-Hmm. do an auto, uh, transfer, 599 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,125 whether it's straight from a paycheck 600 00:25:13,125 --> 00:25:14,165 or straight from a bank account. 601 00:25:14,165 --> 00:25:15,405 Right. So you don't really have to think about it. 602 00:25:16,465 --> 00:25:18,965 Um, but, and then it depends on 603 00:25:18,965 --> 00:25:21,005 what it is you're trying to purchase. 604 00:25:21,105 --> 00:25:25,445 If sometimes we will always advocate for, 605 00:25:26,015 --> 00:25:27,485 spend a little extra, get something 606 00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:29,125 that's designed to last long term. 607 00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:31,165 However, we are also broke bitches. 608 00:25:31,165 --> 00:25:33,485 So sometimes you just buy what you can fucking afford 609 00:25:34,385 --> 00:25:37,965 is the thing you want available at a lower cost. 610 00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:41,165 And is the fact that that might be lower quality, 611 00:25:41,225 --> 00:25:42,245 it might not last as long. 612 00:25:42,315 --> 00:25:44,765 Okay. With you. Like if something could last a couple 613 00:25:44,765 --> 00:25:48,925 of years and it'd be $20, get the fucking thing for $20. 614 00:25:48,985 --> 00:25:50,765 If you have it and the thing you really want 615 00:25:50,765 --> 00:25:54,485 that's gonna last your lifetime is 200, save up for it. 616 00:25:54,495 --> 00:25:58,565 Right. Um, I am not above, we don't do it anymore. 617 00:25:58,885 --> 00:26:01,925 'cause we're people with 618 00:26:02,435 --> 00:26:04,005 kids in a mortgage and all of that. 619 00:26:04,105 --> 00:26:07,445 But when, if, if you happen to get a tax refund, 620 00:26:07,945 --> 00:26:09,885 we do household stuff, now we're those people. 621 00:26:09,905 --> 00:26:12,205 But sometimes that's the time you go, Ooh, I can pull 622 00:26:12,955 --> 00:26:15,685 some money from that and I can get some kink toys 623 00:26:15,685 --> 00:26:18,605 and this is my big purchase and my big splurge for the year. 624 00:26:18,615 --> 00:26:20,205 Maybe you get a bonus at work. Mm-Hmm. 625 00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:22,765 corporations still give bonuses, I dunno, 626 00:26:23,325 --> 00:26:24,445 , but maybe you got one. 627 00:26:24,445 --> 00:26:26,405 Right? Like a little bit of extra money fell in your lap 628 00:26:26,405 --> 00:26:28,795 and you're like, what do I do with it if you don't have 629 00:26:28,795 --> 00:26:30,635 to put tires on your car, . 630 00:26:30,965 --> 00:26:32,915 - Right. - Maybe you can buy the kink toy. 631 00:26:32,915 --> 00:26:33,955 But it's, no, it's like, 632 00:26:34,425 --> 00:26:36,435 it's no different than any other expenditure. 633 00:26:36,505 --> 00:26:39,555 It's just, I think it feels a little bit more fraught 634 00:26:39,555 --> 00:26:42,555 because it's tied to our pleasure and our desires 635 00:26:42,655 --> 00:26:46,725 and our kinks and our, our, uh, the wanting 636 00:26:46,785 --> 00:26:48,565 to do the thing yesterday. 637 00:26:48,825 --> 00:26:51,845 Why can't I have the toy already? Yeah. Kind of feeling. 638 00:26:52,985 --> 00:26:55,885 So, um, and yeah. 639 00:26:55,985 --> 00:26:58,925 As, um, uh, ra RA's mentioning, 640 00:26:58,935 --> 00:27:01,285 she's teaching a class on perverts Mm-Hmm. 641 00:27:01,325 --> 00:27:03,845 at the end of March. Perverts are also 642 00:27:04,445 --> 00:27:06,805 a great alternative if there is no budget's. 643 00:27:06,805 --> 00:27:09,085 True. Or while that's save up for the thing that 644 00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:10,565 - You want in the meantime. Yeah. Right, 645 00:27:10,565 --> 00:27:11,565 - Right, right. 646 00:27:11,825 --> 00:27:16,365 So, okay. Uh, next question. Mm-Hmm. 647 00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:19,885 How do you fulfill your sub duties when sick? 648 00:27:20,475 --> 00:27:21,645 They're recovering from covid, 649 00:27:21,705 --> 00:27:22,765 so that's where their question's gonna go. 650 00:27:22,795 --> 00:27:25,765 Okay. Uh, I fucking don't, it depends on what kind of sick. 651 00:27:25,765 --> 00:27:29,205 Yeah. If I'm the sniffly, just kind of vaguely sort of, uh, 652 00:27:29,585 --> 00:27:30,845 I'm gonna do as much as I can, 653 00:27:31,185 --> 00:27:33,005 but I'm gonna let JB know how I feel. 654 00:27:33,005 --> 00:27:34,765 Mm-Hmm. , I, if I don't think I can do 655 00:27:34,765 --> 00:27:36,925 something, even if I'm doing other things, I'm gonna say, 656 00:27:36,945 --> 00:27:38,565 Hey, I don't think I can do this. 657 00:27:39,465 --> 00:27:40,485 How do you feel about that? 658 00:27:41,105 --> 00:27:42,885 JB being jb he's gonna go don't, 659 00:27:43,385 --> 00:27:45,765 he might even if I'm just a little sniffly, tell me 660 00:27:45,765 --> 00:27:47,565 to sit my ass down and don't worry about 661 00:27:47,805 --> 00:27:48,805 - Anything. 662 00:27:48,805 --> 00:27:49,245 And, and that, yeah. 663 00:27:49,245 --> 00:27:51,565 There, there, there have been times I've told her 664 00:27:51,625 --> 00:27:53,605 to sit her ass down not to move. 665 00:27:53,855 --> 00:27:56,645 Right. And, and she's done until she's better. But 666 00:27:56,645 --> 00:27:59,565 - That's the thing, if I'm sick, especially if I'm the kind 667 00:27:59,565 --> 00:28:01,885 of sick where I don't wanna move or I can't Mm-Hmm. 668 00:28:01,925 --> 00:28:03,565 , I don't have energy, or I have 669 00:28:03,565 --> 00:28:06,365 to use all the energy I have just to like, do the things 670 00:28:06,365 --> 00:28:10,165 that I have zero option on raising a kid, you know, 671 00:28:10,165 --> 00:28:11,965 doing a work thing, whatever, whatever. 672 00:28:12,715 --> 00:28:17,365 Then I'm not worried about doing my submissive stuff. 673 00:28:17,465 --> 00:28:19,645 And I have a partner who is not worried about me 674 00:28:19,815 --> 00:28:21,085 doing my submissive stuff. 675 00:28:21,225 --> 00:28:24,485 No. Um, we, we are, we are not doing rocket science 676 00:28:24,545 --> 00:28:26,005 or brain surgery over here. 677 00:28:26,005 --> 00:28:29,205 There is not a fucking thing I do as a submissive that is 678 00:28:29,225 --> 00:28:31,205 so important that I can't, 679 00:28:31,595 --> 00:28:33,525 that it's impossible for me to take a break. 680 00:28:33,575 --> 00:28:35,165 Right. We just, it's, it's 681 00:28:35,345 --> 00:28:37,165 - Not, - You know, it's serious, but it's not that 682 00:28:37,165 --> 00:28:38,165 - Serious. 683 00:28:38,165 --> 00:28:38,845 I, I, I look at it this way 684 00:28:39,225 --> 00:28:42,925 and, you know, I can understand your, 685 00:28:42,995 --> 00:28:46,485 your feelings about, you know, being submissive 686 00:28:46,485 --> 00:28:48,165 and wanting to do what you do. 687 00:28:48,265 --> 00:28:51,325 Mm-Hmm. as a submissive for your person. 688 00:28:52,325 --> 00:28:54,605 I know that because I see what this one right here, 689 00:28:54,605 --> 00:28:57,445 sitting next to me, does, you know? 690 00:28:57,865 --> 00:29:00,805 But if she is not feeling well, 691 00:29:01,545 --> 00:29:04,325 the last thing I wanna do is have her try 692 00:29:04,325 --> 00:29:06,525 to do all the things she's supposed to do. 693 00:29:07,075 --> 00:29:09,845 Because one, it's not gonna be good for her. 694 00:29:10,425 --> 00:29:12,005 I'm gonna take away from her getting better 695 00:29:12,425 --> 00:29:14,525 and two, not feeling good like that. 696 00:29:15,125 --> 00:29:18,875 I know she's not gonna perform up to a hundred percent 697 00:29:19,505 --> 00:29:21,875 want her to get better, fully better so 698 00:29:21,875 --> 00:29:23,235 that she can do all the things 699 00:29:23,415 --> 00:29:25,435 and not be miserable doing them. Right. 700 00:29:25,435 --> 00:29:28,195 - And I'm gonna give serious side eye to any Mr out there 701 00:29:28,215 --> 00:29:31,515 who has a dominant partner who is not gonna understand 702 00:29:31,585 --> 00:29:32,595 that you're, you're sick 703 00:29:32,655 --> 00:29:35,235 and you what you need is rest and to get better. 704 00:29:35,255 --> 00:29:38,435 Mm-Hmm. . And your, your tasks, your duties, 705 00:29:38,615 --> 00:29:39,955 the things that you've agreed to do, 706 00:29:39,955 --> 00:29:41,645 sometimes just have to, to right. 707 00:29:41,815 --> 00:29:43,045 Pause for a beat. Yep. 708 00:29:43,345 --> 00:29:47,405 Um, because if I'm not allowed 709 00:29:47,405 --> 00:29:48,925 to get better, then I don't get better. 710 00:29:49,045 --> 00:29:51,125 I actually get worse. And then that's 711 00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:52,725 that much longer that I can't Right. 712 00:29:52,735 --> 00:29:54,165 Fully do the things that I would 713 00:29:54,165 --> 00:29:55,245 like to do that I've agreed to do. 714 00:29:56,745 --> 00:30:01,125 So yeah. That's, that's that on that. Mm-Hmm. . 715 00:30:01,125 --> 00:30:03,125 Yeah. Uh, the next question, Kayla, 716 00:30:03,225 --> 00:30:05,685 how do you balance being a mom living your daily life 717 00:30:05,865 --> 00:30:07,765 and being a submissive ? 718 00:30:08,745 --> 00:30:10,725 I'm gonna say 90% of the time I don't. 719 00:30:10,945 --> 00:30:14,685 Um, , there's no balance. It's, it's a seesaw. Okay. 720 00:30:15,705 --> 00:30:20,045 The moment I'm focusing on one thing that needs me 721 00:30:20,425 --> 00:30:23,565 and that seesaw goes down, the other thing goes up, 722 00:30:23,885 --> 00:30:26,565 whatever is just flies off into space and there's chaos, 723 00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:28,725 and I run to the other side and I pick that up. 724 00:30:29,225 --> 00:30:31,445 Um, as a submissive, most of 725 00:30:31,445 --> 00:30:34,805 what I do is a submissive is completely interwoven into most 726 00:30:34,865 --> 00:30:36,325 of my daily life. 727 00:30:36,745 --> 00:30:39,965 Uh, not my mom's stuff, but like, just living life. 728 00:30:40,225 --> 00:30:43,965 So I don't really have to balance that part, 729 00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:47,605 the imbalance and the fact that there is no balances. 730 00:30:47,835 --> 00:30:50,565 There's my life is a submissive and just living life. 731 00:30:50,595 --> 00:30:53,685 There's the mom life and there's the business owner life. 732 00:30:53,705 --> 00:30:57,045 And there is no fucking balance there at all. 733 00:30:57,505 --> 00:30:59,845 It is juggling while spinning plates, 734 00:31:00,055 --> 00:31:01,765 while riding a unicycle. 735 00:31:02,075 --> 00:31:05,685 Okay. add in a little bit of chaos, 736 00:31:06,105 --> 00:31:08,925 and like the universe going, I would like to see 737 00:31:09,145 --> 00:31:10,365 how much more you can handle. 738 00:31:10,505 --> 00:31:12,925 So unicycle over this banana peel. 739 00:31:13,985 --> 00:31:16,365 Um, then it, then it's even less. 740 00:31:16,665 --> 00:31:20,045 So I do try to prioritize day by day. 741 00:31:20,045 --> 00:31:22,125 Sometimes it's hour by hour. Mm-Hmm. 742 00:31:22,165 --> 00:31:25,365 , what do I have to focus on in this moment? 743 00:31:26,265 --> 00:31:29,845 It makes me crazy. 744 00:31:30,105 --> 00:31:33,325 It is crazy making, because there are days where I'm like, 745 00:31:33,405 --> 00:31:35,445 I would really like to focus on doing these things 746 00:31:35,445 --> 00:31:37,485 around the house that, you know, are just part 747 00:31:37,485 --> 00:31:38,765 of living in a home. 748 00:31:38,825 --> 00:31:40,285 And also make me feel good. 749 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:41,525 'cause I'm taking care of the family. 750 00:31:41,585 --> 00:31:43,405 I'm taking care of jb I would love to do these things, 751 00:31:43,505 --> 00:31:47,045 but also I have a kid over here who needs home help 752 00:31:47,045 --> 00:31:48,765 with math homework and have a kid over here 753 00:31:49,025 --> 00:31:51,085 who needs somebody to attend his band concert. 754 00:31:51,345 --> 00:31:53,245 And I have a business thing over there, right. 755 00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:55,365 Like, . So there are days, 756 00:31:55,475 --> 00:31:57,005 it's hour by hour I'm picking. 757 00:31:57,065 --> 00:32:00,245 And then most of the time when it's not too weird 758 00:32:00,245 --> 00:32:03,045 around here, it's just a day by day thing where who gets 759 00:32:03,785 --> 00:32:07,445 who gets the bulk of my attention and focus. 760 00:32:08,265 --> 00:32:12,045 And, um, the thing that makes it very hard for me 761 00:32:12,045 --> 00:32:13,525 and I struggle with is I cannot 762 00:32:14,345 --> 00:32:16,005 create a routine around that. 763 00:32:16,265 --> 00:32:19,485 And I don't like that . 764 00:32:19,845 --> 00:32:22,925 I thrive with structure and a good routine. 765 00:32:23,465 --> 00:32:27,805 Um, and the nature of our current life is every day is 766 00:32:28,265 --> 00:32:31,325 so different that it is stressful to me sometimes. 767 00:32:31,705 --> 00:32:35,945 And I just do the best I can any given moment of the day. 768 00:32:36,465 --> 00:32:37,985 Hmm. So, yeah. 769 00:32:38,405 --> 00:32:39,845 That's probably not at all helpful, 770 00:32:40,105 --> 00:32:43,165 but it is the honest answer. 771 00:32:44,435 --> 00:32:47,845 Okay. Um, somebody said more candles. 772 00:32:47,845 --> 00:32:51,005 We want more candles at the Kry. I'm working on it. Okay. 773 00:32:51,605 --> 00:32:53,325 . See, that's a shameless plug. The kry.com. 774 00:32:53,325 --> 00:32:55,525 We have wax play candles, soy and paraffin. Yay. 775 00:32:55,555 --> 00:32:56,965 Okay, next one. 776 00:32:57,905 --> 00:33:02,045 How can a learning dom find themselves more comfortable 777 00:33:02,045 --> 00:33:03,405 when starting a scene? 778 00:33:03,425 --> 00:33:05,605 So a newbie, do Dom who's still figuring things 779 00:33:05,605 --> 00:33:07,285 out, not comfortable. 780 00:33:07,285 --> 00:33:08,205 Mm-Hmm. starting a 781 00:33:08,205 --> 00:33:09,325 scene. How, how do they get there? 782 00:33:09,825 --> 00:33:14,045 - Um, you know, one of the things I did early on 783 00:33:15,705 --> 00:33:19,685 was I used to run scenes through my head. 784 00:33:19,985 --> 00:33:22,565 Mm. mm-Hmm. . Okay. 785 00:33:23,025 --> 00:33:26,485 Um, you know, well, well, before we played 786 00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,885 or did anything, I, I would, you know, 787 00:33:28,885 --> 00:33:30,405 start mapping it out in my head. 788 00:33:31,075 --> 00:33:36,005 Yeah. And just kind of, I mean, just from, 789 00:33:36,395 --> 00:33:41,285 from inception to, you know, what, what I'm thinking about, 790 00:33:41,745 --> 00:33:46,685 um, into going into good detail with it. 791 00:33:47,105 --> 00:33:50,445 And, and I think by doing that and, 792 00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:52,925 and running it through my head like that, it kind 793 00:33:52,925 --> 00:33:53,965 of reinforced me. 794 00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:55,725 It's like, okay, yeah, I can do this. 795 00:33:55,725 --> 00:33:57,485 This can, you know, this is 796 00:33:57,485 --> 00:33:58,485 - The thing I'm - Gonna do. 797 00:33:58,485 --> 00:33:59,205 This is the thing I'm gonna do. 798 00:33:59,625 --> 00:34:01,525 - How, especially when you were newer at this, 799 00:34:01,945 --> 00:34:03,485 how did you reconcile? 800 00:34:03,665 --> 00:34:05,725 You had, you had kind of run through it in your head Mm-Hmm. 801 00:34:05,765 --> 00:34:07,485 how you thought it was gonna go, and then in 802 00:34:07,485 --> 00:34:09,005 invariably when reality struck 803 00:34:09,025 --> 00:34:11,205 and it didn't quite go according to your Mm-Hmm. 804 00:34:11,245 --> 00:34:12,685 internal plan. Like, 805 00:34:12,905 --> 00:34:14,845 how did you feel about that? How did you adjust? 806 00:34:15,425 --> 00:34:18,965 - Um, I, I think in the beginning, early, 807 00:34:19,055 --> 00:34:21,325 early on, it upset me. 808 00:34:21,325 --> 00:34:26,125 Mm-Hmm. . And then I realized, you know what, 809 00:34:27,035 --> 00:34:28,365 it's never gonna be perfect. 810 00:34:29,055 --> 00:34:30,445 Right. And, 811 00:34:30,745 --> 00:34:34,925 and, you know, um, it, it's just, 812 00:34:35,115 --> 00:34:36,485 it's gonna be what it's gonna be. 813 00:34:36,775 --> 00:34:39,005 - Right. I think that just comes with time and 814 00:34:39,015 --> 00:34:41,045 - Confidence and, and that, that comes with time. 815 00:34:41,345 --> 00:34:44,445 And you know, the, the more you do it, it's, 816 00:34:44,475 --> 00:34:47,525 it's like riding a bicycle, you know, muscle memory. 817 00:34:47,545 --> 00:34:49,405 Muscle memory. That's, that's what, 818 00:34:49,945 --> 00:34:51,205 that's what you wanna build. 819 00:34:51,305 --> 00:34:52,325 Mm-Hmm. , you know, 820 00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:55,245 and it's more than just a physical muscle memory. 821 00:34:55,355 --> 00:34:57,925 It's that mental muscle memory as well. Sure. 822 00:34:59,405 --> 00:35:01,205 - I have noticed, and I don't know if you do this, 823 00:35:01,265 --> 00:35:03,525 and maybe I read too much fiction, but I'm here for it, 824 00:35:03,945 --> 00:35:05,485 and maybe you have done it and I just didn't know. 825 00:35:05,765 --> 00:35:07,165 'cause I can be oblivious. 826 00:35:08,045 --> 00:35:09,765 A thing I've noticed that Doms sometimes do, 827 00:35:09,785 --> 00:35:11,645 and I I, there's all kinds of reasons they would do it. 828 00:35:11,645 --> 00:35:13,005 Mm-Hmm. , one of those would be 829 00:35:13,465 --> 00:35:15,485 to signal a start to the moment, 830 00:35:15,585 --> 00:35:18,605 and also to give themselves time to like take a breath, 831 00:35:19,265 --> 00:35:23,885 is they get their submissive into some sort 832 00:35:23,885 --> 00:35:24,925 of starting position. 833 00:35:25,105 --> 00:35:26,605 And that might be pre-negotiated. 834 00:35:26,705 --> 00:35:28,845 It might be a command given at the start of the scene. 835 00:35:28,845 --> 00:35:30,605 Something that indicates the scene is starting. 836 00:35:31,305 --> 00:35:32,965 And you, I know you love to do this. 837 00:35:33,045 --> 00:35:35,125 I don't know your reasons, but I know you love to do it. 838 00:35:35,185 --> 00:35:38,365 You'll have me get into a position Mm-Hmm. . 839 00:35:39,065 --> 00:35:42,045 And then just leave me there for, to me, 840 00:35:42,105 --> 00:35:44,885 in my impatient brain, it feels like I'm there forever. 841 00:35:46,075 --> 00:35:49,365 It's like a minute. If that is that, 842 00:35:49,915 --> 00:35:51,685 - It's the building of anticipation. 843 00:35:52,355 --> 00:35:54,925 - It's the what will she do when she gets really impatient? 844 00:35:55,385 --> 00:35:59,285 How can I then, you know, air quote, punish her 845 00:35:59,385 --> 00:36:01,085 for, for getting impatient. 846 00:36:01,365 --> 00:36:02,885 I know what it is. It's part of the game, . 847 00:36:03,225 --> 00:36:06,645 But have you ever used a moment like that 848 00:36:06,945 --> 00:36:09,525 or heard of somebody using a moment like that just to like, 849 00:36:09,705 --> 00:36:13,925 as the dom kind of get yourself together, take a beat, 850 00:36:14,435 --> 00:36:15,485 breathe, go. 851 00:36:15,755 --> 00:36:18,085 Okay, they're there, we're starting Mm-Hmm. , 852 00:36:18,475 --> 00:36:19,685 - What - Do I want to do first? 853 00:36:20,835 --> 00:36:22,045 Yeah. Like, am I just made 854 00:36:22,045 --> 00:36:23,605 that up in my head or read too much fiction? 855 00:36:23,705 --> 00:36:25,205 Or is that like a potential 856 00:36:25,445 --> 00:36:26,445 - Strategy? 857 00:36:26,445 --> 00:36:28,085 I, I wouldn't say I do it all the time, but I have done it. 858 00:36:28,085 --> 00:36:31,085 Mm-Hmm. at at times. Yes. Right. 859 00:36:31,105 --> 00:36:33,925 - And I, I think that, you know, 860 00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:39,685 Having those moments to give, to remind yourself 861 00:36:39,685 --> 00:36:40,925 that you are in control here. 862 00:36:40,925 --> 00:36:42,885 Your submissive is given their consent for you 863 00:36:42,885 --> 00:36:44,885 to take the lead, and then they go do this the 864 00:36:44,885 --> 00:36:46,005 first thing you tell them to do. 865 00:36:46,005 --> 00:36:47,325 Right. Get on your knees, 866 00:36:47,325 --> 00:36:48,765 bend over the bed, take your clothes off. 867 00:36:48,765 --> 00:36:50,085 Like what, whatever, whatever. 868 00:36:51,125 --> 00:36:54,685 I think that's, that's the start of these little steps 869 00:36:54,685 --> 00:36:55,805 that build confidence 870 00:36:55,915 --> 00:36:58,725 because I think there's also that in my mind, 871 00:36:58,845 --> 00:37:00,005 a scene and not mine. 872 00:37:00,005 --> 00:37:02,525 The mm-Hmm. generic. My mind scene. 873 00:37:02,595 --> 00:37:04,245 It's this really complicated complex, 874 00:37:04,305 --> 00:37:06,005 all these moving parts things, blah, blah, blah. 875 00:37:06,065 --> 00:37:08,445 And that can be very overwhelming for somebody 876 00:37:08,445 --> 00:37:10,765 who doesn't have a lot of experience with a scene like that. 877 00:37:10,795 --> 00:37:15,445 True. And a scene can literally be one action, a few words. 878 00:37:15,445 --> 00:37:17,325 Right. Like, it doesn't have to, and, and 879 00:37:17,325 --> 00:37:18,565 - I was be that elabor elaborate, and I was, 880 00:37:18,565 --> 00:37:21,765 and I was gonna say, you know, is especially if, if it's 881 00:37:21,765 --> 00:37:25,765 for someone new, don't, don't make it 882 00:37:27,105 --> 00:37:28,125 so elaborate. 883 00:37:28,345 --> 00:37:29,845 Mm-Hmm. , you know, that, 884 00:37:30,755 --> 00:37:31,805 that you're overwhelmed. 885 00:37:32,655 --> 00:37:36,165 Start with a small scene. Just do a spanking. Right. Okay. 886 00:37:36,585 --> 00:37:39,405 You know, and, and that's all it takes. 887 00:37:39,545 --> 00:37:42,445 And, and from there you add a little bit, add a little bit, 888 00:37:42,465 --> 00:37:44,605 add a little bit until you get to where you want to be. 889 00:37:44,815 --> 00:37:47,085 - Right. We've had scenes and I don't know if it's 890 00:37:47,245 --> 00:37:49,165 'cause you were tired, I don't know if it's 891 00:37:49,285 --> 00:37:51,085 'cause you were like, ah, I, I wanna fuck around, 892 00:37:51,085 --> 00:37:52,325 but I don't have any ideas right now. 893 00:37:52,575 --> 00:37:55,205 We've had scenes where most of it was just you telling me 894 00:37:55,205 --> 00:37:56,925 to do things and watching me do them, 895 00:37:57,305 --> 00:37:58,725 you know, take off your clothes. 896 00:37:58,745 --> 00:37:59,885 Mm-Hmm. Neil, when I, 897 00:37:59,885 --> 00:38:02,325 when these knees would still let me crawl, right? 898 00:38:02,325 --> 00:38:04,165 Mm-Hmm. . And it was just, 899 00:38:04,625 --> 00:38:06,965 you were not even doing anything major. 900 00:38:07,205 --> 00:38:08,445 I wasn't doing anything major. 901 00:38:08,585 --> 00:38:11,605 It was you sort of quietly 902 00:38:12,765 --> 00:38:13,925 exerting control. 903 00:38:14,115 --> 00:38:16,405 Correct. And me doing what you said, 904 00:38:16,545 --> 00:38:19,525 and it might be 15 minutes, it might be an hour. 905 00:38:19,525 --> 00:38:21,765 Mm-Hmm. . And that's a scene. 906 00:38:21,905 --> 00:38:24,525 And there wasn't, there wasn't any equipment to it. 907 00:38:24,655 --> 00:38:27,525 There wasn't any roleplay, dirty talk. 908 00:38:27,825 --> 00:38:30,205 You didn't have to do five different kinks at once. 909 00:38:30,345 --> 00:38:31,605 - No. no. 910 00:38:32,065 --> 00:38:34,165 - And I that Yeah. When, when you're still learning 911 00:38:34,185 --> 00:38:35,645 and you're trying to build your confidence 912 00:38:35,645 --> 00:38:36,685 and you haven't done a lot of scenes. 913 00:38:36,685 --> 00:38:39,765 Yeah. Start simple. Right? Start it. Yeah. 914 00:38:39,895 --> 00:38:41,045 Don't, don't worry about, 915 00:38:41,165 --> 00:38:42,165 - I mean that's, that's, that's the, 916 00:38:42,165 --> 00:38:43,005 - The major production yet that's, 917 00:38:43,005 --> 00:38:45,645 - That, that's the best way to build your confidence. 918 00:38:45,645 --> 00:38:47,645 Mm-Hmm. , you know, start small. 919 00:38:48,345 --> 00:38:50,525 If you try to do too much, you're going 920 00:38:50,525 --> 00:38:52,765 to overwhelm yourself and, 921 00:38:52,785 --> 00:38:54,605 and that's not good. Mm-Hmm. . 922 00:38:54,625 --> 00:38:57,725 - Mm-Hmm. . Okay, next one. 923 00:38:57,945 --> 00:39:02,005 - All right. - For Doms, setting boundaries. Mm-Hmm. 924 00:39:02,045 --> 00:39:05,005 , why does it hurt different when a sub chooses 925 00:39:05,005 --> 00:39:06,325 to breach those boundaries? 926 00:39:06,745 --> 00:39:08,325 So I'm gonna go ahead and insert myself 927 00:39:08,465 --> 00:39:12,685 and say, I don't think a dom being, you know, 928 00:39:12,885 --> 00:39:16,965 a sub not doing whatever or a breach of trust Mm-Hmm. 929 00:39:17,005 --> 00:39:19,325 from a sub is somehow worse 930 00:39:19,545 --> 00:39:21,885 or better than when a dom does it. 931 00:39:22,125 --> 00:39:24,725 I think, I think it's more about the power exchange 932 00:39:25,025 --> 00:39:28,925 and when a boundary is, you know, yeah. 933 00:39:29,075 --> 00:39:30,685 Ignored in power exchange 934 00:39:30,845 --> 00:39:33,645 or when there's a problem in power exchange, I think most 935 00:39:33,645 --> 00:39:36,725 of us probably would probably agree 936 00:39:36,725 --> 00:39:38,765 that it feels somehow deeper 937 00:39:39,545 --> 00:39:43,445 and more hurtful than a non kink relationship. 938 00:39:43,645 --> 00:39:44,765 I think that's a common Mm-Hmm. 939 00:39:44,805 --> 00:39:47,525 thing that a lot of us have expressed before. 940 00:39:47,525 --> 00:39:51,525 Right. Um, but from a Doms perspective Mm-Hmm. 941 00:39:51,565 --> 00:39:54,725 , um, what, what would you say? 942 00:39:54,895 --> 00:39:55,965 - Gimme the question again 943 00:39:56,305 --> 00:39:57,305 - For Doms? 944 00:39:57,305 --> 00:39:58,725 Mm-Hmm. setting boundaries. Right. 945 00:39:58,825 --> 00:40:02,165 Why does it hurt different when a sub chooses 946 00:40:02,165 --> 00:40:03,445 to breach those boundaries? 947 00:40:03,505 --> 00:40:04,505 Mm-Hmm. 948 00:40:05,155 --> 00:40:09,845 - Well, , you know, when, 949 00:40:09,915 --> 00:40:13,445 when breach boundaries like that, it's, 950 00:40:13,515 --> 00:40:14,725 it's a break of trust. 951 00:40:14,785 --> 00:40:17,325 Mm-Hmm. it, you know, that's, 952 00:40:17,325 --> 00:40:18,405 that's pretty much it. 953 00:40:18,945 --> 00:40:21,245 Um, you know, and, 954 00:40:21,265 --> 00:40:25,645 and I'm don't know how they, um, mean this question 955 00:40:26,305 --> 00:40:29,525 per se, because there's two ways I think you look at it. 956 00:40:29,905 --> 00:40:33,165 Um, you know, as you dom is your daddy, 957 00:40:33,845 --> 00:40:35,045 I set a boundary for you. 958 00:40:35,835 --> 00:40:37,365 - Okay. And then I go off and do whatever the 959 00:40:37,365 --> 00:40:38,925 - Fuck I want and you go off and do whatever I want. 960 00:40:39,015 --> 00:40:40,045 Could not be me. Alright. 961 00:40:40,365 --> 00:40:41,685 or, you know, it, 962 00:40:41,745 --> 00:40:43,845 it could be I have a personal boundary. 963 00:40:43,895 --> 00:40:45,245 Right. Alright. 964 00:40:45,945 --> 00:40:49,125 And, and I tell you, you know, this, this is, this is it, 965 00:40:49,155 --> 00:40:50,765 this is something you're 966 00:40:50,765 --> 00:40:51,965 - Not allowed - To do with not allowed with me. 967 00:40:52,345 --> 00:40:53,725 I'm not gonna accept. All right. Right. 968 00:40:53,905 --> 00:40:55,725 And, and you crossed that line. Right. 969 00:40:55,725 --> 00:40:57,405 So I mean, that, that's two possible ways 970 00:40:57,425 --> 00:40:58,485 of looking at this question. 971 00:40:58,885 --> 00:41:02,845 Absolutely. But either way, it's a breach of trust. Right. 972 00:41:03,025 --> 00:41:04,845 - You can't, how do you trust the person 973 00:41:04,905 --> 00:41:07,045 who just wa walked all over a rule 974 00:41:07,305 --> 00:41:09,445 or a thing they agreed to do or 975 00:41:09,445 --> 00:41:10,445 - Not to do? 976 00:41:10,445 --> 00:41:12,805 Yeah. Right. Yeah. I I mean it's, it's the same thing. 977 00:41:12,825 --> 00:41:14,285 And I'm gonna use this as an example 978 00:41:14,285 --> 00:41:15,805 and I've used it an example in the past. 979 00:41:16,305 --> 00:41:20,645 Um, it's, it's the same thing as going into a scene 980 00:41:20,645 --> 00:41:24,445 with somebody and, you know, having 981 00:41:24,985 --> 00:41:28,405 things set in place, you know, what's your safe word 982 00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:33,885 and tell me, and even though they should have, 983 00:41:33,885 --> 00:41:35,645 they don't use the safe word. Right? 984 00:41:36,195 --> 00:41:40,885 - Yeah. - Okay. You know, that is a big . 985 00:41:41,055 --> 00:41:42,565 - Right. It, it breaks trust 986 00:41:42,565 --> 00:41:44,925 because then you then cannot depend on that person. 987 00:41:44,975 --> 00:41:47,125 Right. To not do that in the future. Mm-Hmm. . 988 00:41:47,125 --> 00:41:48,125 Right. I get it. And the, 989 00:41:48,265 --> 00:41:50,005 the question about why does it hurt worse? 990 00:41:50,095 --> 00:41:53,805 Again, let's go back to this is not unique to 991 00:41:55,195 --> 00:41:57,405 subs, you know, hurting their doms. 992 00:41:57,405 --> 00:41:59,125 It goes, it goes all the ways 993 00:41:59,155 --> 00:42:00,285 with all of these relationships. 994 00:42:00,545 --> 00:42:03,565 And I think that why it feels like it hurts worse if you're 995 00:42:03,565 --> 00:42:06,045 comparing it to previous non kink relationships. 996 00:42:06,065 --> 00:42:10,605 Mm-Hmm. , is that the, what we do 997 00:42:10,865 --> 00:42:14,045 to create a power exchange 998 00:42:14,115 --> 00:42:15,845 that is hopefully happy and healthy. 999 00:42:15,845 --> 00:42:19,045 Right? Right. Or is trying to get there feels 1000 00:42:19,145 --> 00:42:22,765 and often is more in depth than what we do 1001 00:42:22,765 --> 00:42:24,085 for non-kin relationships now. 1002 00:42:24,085 --> 00:42:28,285 Correct. Should non kinky relationships stay 1003 00:42:28,285 --> 00:42:30,965 that surface level and no, we should go 1004 00:42:30,995 --> 00:42:32,485 that in depth with all kinds 1005 00:42:32,665 --> 00:42:33,665 - Of relationships. 1006 00:42:33,665 --> 00:42:34,885 - With all Yeah. But in general we don't, 1007 00:42:34,885 --> 00:42:38,605 and most of us are first time really clearly communicating 1008 00:42:39,095 --> 00:42:41,085 needs and wants and desires and boundaries. 1009 00:42:41,085 --> 00:42:43,285 Mm-Hmm. and getting that kind of communication 1010 00:42:43,285 --> 00:42:44,725 and return and getting that level 1011 00:42:44,745 --> 00:42:45,885 of trust with another partner. 1012 00:42:46,105 --> 00:42:47,885 For a lot of us, the first time we get 1013 00:42:47,885 --> 00:42:48,965 that is in power exchange. 1014 00:42:49,065 --> 00:42:54,005 So when somebody violates that, it can be heart-wrenching. 1015 00:42:54,005 --> 00:42:56,565 Yeah. 'cause you're like, wait, we did all the work. 1016 00:42:56,965 --> 00:42:59,845 I gave you all this trust, I depended on you 1017 00:42:59,845 --> 00:43:01,325 to do the thing you said you would do. 1018 00:43:01,665 --> 00:43:03,725 And this is supposed to be different from a 1019 00:43:03,785 --> 00:43:04,965 non kink situation. 1020 00:43:04,965 --> 00:43:06,885 Mm-Hmm. This is heartbreaking. 1021 00:43:06,885 --> 00:43:10,125 - Right. And and that's what even makes a, a DS breakup. 1022 00:43:10,665 --> 00:43:12,605 Yes. That much more Yes. 1023 00:43:12,835 --> 00:43:16,205 Intense than, than other relationships at times. 1024 00:43:16,745 --> 00:43:20,765 You know, when you go into a DS relationship like that, 1025 00:43:22,965 --> 00:43:26,305 if you're doing it right and you're communicating and, and, 1026 00:43:26,365 --> 00:43:27,385 and you're building the trust 1027 00:43:27,385 --> 00:43:29,385 and the respect, you also allow yourself 1028 00:43:29,385 --> 00:43:30,465 to be very vulnerable. 1029 00:43:30,535 --> 00:43:32,625 - Yeah. It's soul bearing - For sure. Okay. 1030 00:43:32,925 --> 00:43:35,785 And, and when you allow yourself to be vulnerable 1031 00:43:35,885 --> 00:43:38,825 to those levels, yes it can. Right. 1032 00:43:38,825 --> 00:43:41,865 - It's, it's a big risk, big reward when it works 1033 00:43:42,165 --> 00:43:44,945 and when everybody involved take that vulnerability 1034 00:43:44,965 --> 00:43:46,225 and intimacy seriously. 1035 00:43:46,225 --> 00:43:47,665 Mm-Hmm. , it's fucking amazing. 1036 00:43:48,285 --> 00:43:51,625 And when somebody fucks it up right, 1037 00:43:51,965 --> 00:43:54,145 by not being trustworthy and not having integrity 1038 00:43:54,285 --> 00:43:57,785 or whatever, whatever the situation is, then it's 1039 00:43:59,125 --> 00:44:00,385 the opposite end of 1040 00:44:00,385 --> 00:44:02,865 that spectrum then it's the most heartbreaking thing you've 1041 00:44:02,865 --> 00:44:03,945 ever gone through in your life. 1042 00:44:03,945 --> 00:44:05,145 Right? Yeah. Um, 1043 00:44:05,525 --> 00:44:07,145 and that, that I think I agree with the completely 1044 00:44:07,145 --> 00:44:08,345 that's where that comes from. 1045 00:44:08,375 --> 00:44:10,345 Yeah. That does not mean you should not be 1046 00:44:10,345 --> 00:44:11,625 vulnerable with the next partner. 1047 00:44:11,925 --> 00:44:13,945 It does not necessarily mean 1048 00:44:13,945 --> 00:44:15,905 that the relationship cannot be salvaged. 1049 00:44:16,125 --> 00:44:17,705 You know, sometimes it does. 1050 00:44:17,705 --> 00:44:20,385 Sometimes it's, it's a step too far. 1051 00:44:20,385 --> 00:44:21,865 Sometimes it's, this wasn't your first 1052 00:44:21,865 --> 00:44:22,945 time you keep doing this. 1053 00:44:23,295 --> 00:44:25,825 Sometimes you were getting played by, 1054 00:44:26,245 --> 00:44:28,145 you know, a fake, right? 1055 00:44:28,145 --> 00:44:29,465 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Like those 1056 00:44:29,465 --> 00:44:32,445 things happen, but sometimes it's 1057 00:44:32,645 --> 00:44:36,925 'cause somebody fell back on old habits and, 1058 00:44:37,065 --> 00:44:39,645 and you know, not great behaviors 1059 00:44:39,645 --> 00:44:41,285 and sometimes it's a miscommunication 1060 00:44:41,305 --> 00:44:43,285 and sometimes it's whatever. 1061 00:44:43,505 --> 00:44:46,245 And I think it's okay if you go, I don't care 1062 00:44:46,245 --> 00:44:47,725 that this is under understandable 1063 00:44:47,785 --> 00:44:49,765 and I know why you did this. 1064 00:44:49,965 --> 00:44:52,925 I I can't continue this. I that's valid. 1065 00:44:53,525 --> 00:44:56,805 I am that kind of person most of the time. 1066 00:44:57,265 --> 00:45:00,485 Um, but it's also okay to go, okay, can we talk this out? 1067 00:45:00,705 --> 00:45:01,725 Can we try again? 1068 00:45:02,305 --> 00:45:04,965 You know, the, the scary thing, 1069 00:45:04,965 --> 00:45:07,005 and I tend to see this mostly in submissives. 1070 00:45:07,045 --> 00:45:08,485 I, I'm sure it happens to doms, 1071 00:45:08,485 --> 00:45:11,205 but I don't really see it that often is sometimes we give 1072 00:45:11,205 --> 00:45:12,645 our partner too many chances 1073 00:45:12,745 --> 00:45:15,885 and we give them too many opportunities to cause harm 1074 00:45:16,025 --> 00:45:18,845 and they do, and we get stuck in this, 1075 00:45:19,065 --> 00:45:20,525 but this is the only person I'll ever get 1076 00:45:20,745 --> 00:45:22,365 to be my dom or sub. 1077 00:45:22,385 --> 00:45:25,405 And so I guess I'm No, that is never true scarcity thing. 1078 00:45:26,465 --> 00:45:28,205 No. There's somebody out there, they 1079 00:45:28,755 --> 00:45:30,765 will almost never be like in a drive 1080 00:45:30,785 --> 00:45:32,045 within driving distance. 1081 00:45:32,115 --> 00:45:34,005 They just they will be on another 1082 00:45:34,645 --> 00:45:36,525 continent across some large body 1083 00:45:36,625 --> 00:45:38,445 of water, but they will be out there. 1084 00:45:38,445 --> 00:45:40,205 Yeah. So, okay. 1085 00:45:40,595 --> 00:45:42,285 - Yeah. I finally met somebody with, uh, 1086 00:45:42,335 --> 00:45:45,885 compatible kinks in their four times zones away. Right. 1087 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:48,525 - . Right. Didn't say it would be easy, 1088 00:45:48,585 --> 00:45:50,325 but I I do believe they're out there. 1089 00:45:50,575 --> 00:45:52,805 Right. Okay, next question. 1090 00:45:53,705 --> 00:45:57,245 Uh, this is about the kry shameless uhuh plug kry.com. 1091 00:45:57,785 --> 00:45:59,565 Do y'all make every cane to order 1092 00:45:59,585 --> 00:46:01,165 or do you have a stockpile you pull from? 1093 00:46:02,185 --> 00:46:05,445 Uh, if it's a wooden handle, we pre-make those. Right. 1094 00:46:05,585 --> 00:46:07,565 Uh, except when we're sold out and I, mm-Hmm. 1095 00:46:07,605 --> 00:46:09,205 , I'm waiting on JB to make more. Right. 1096 00:46:09,685 --> 00:46:12,165 - . Huh? Is that a hint? ? Yes. 1097 00:46:12,275 --> 00:46:13,645 - Yeah, it's, yes. I'm out a quarter 1098 00:46:13,645 --> 00:46:14,645 - Inch cane. 1099 00:46:14,645 --> 00:46:16,725 Yes, I know . Okay. So, you know Yeah. 1100 00:46:16,785 --> 00:46:18,725 The, the wooden cane handles, um, 1101 00:46:18,785 --> 00:46:21,205 - So it's, it's white Dell RIN is the cane, 1102 00:46:21,205 --> 00:46:22,485 and then the handle is 1103 00:46:22,485 --> 00:46:23,485 - Wood is wooden. 1104 00:46:23,825 --> 00:46:28,125 Um, you know, yes. Those, those are made ahead. Mm-Hmm. 1105 00:46:28,165 --> 00:46:30,565 because those are, are pretty standard. 1106 00:46:31,145 --> 00:46:35,365 Uh, as far as the, um, resin handles though, 1107 00:46:35,935 --> 00:46:37,365 those are made to order. 1108 00:46:37,465 --> 00:46:39,925 Yep. Okay. Once we get an order in and, 1109 00:46:39,945 --> 00:46:42,645 and folks have chosen their colors, 1110 00:46:43,385 --> 00:46:44,645 that's when the clock starts. 1111 00:46:44,975 --> 00:46:48,085 - Right. And those are, yeah, those, 1112 00:46:48,085 --> 00:46:49,085 because you pick your colors. 1113 00:46:49,085 --> 00:46:50,085 Right. If we're making a, 1114 00:46:50,225 --> 00:46:52,805 so if you didn't know@thekinky.com, we sell canes. 1115 00:46:52,805 --> 00:46:54,285 Mm-Hmm. we sell two sizes 1116 00:46:54,305 --> 00:46:55,565 and we sell two variations. 1117 00:46:55,695 --> 00:46:58,005 Right. The two sizes are quarter inch. 1118 00:46:58,005 --> 00:47:00,565 That is gonna be a very whippy, very stingy, 1119 00:47:00,595 --> 00:47:02,405 very burny fucking cane. 1120 00:47:02,405 --> 00:47:04,845 Mm-Hmm. and three eighths, which is thicker. 1121 00:47:04,865 --> 00:47:06,645 So not whippy, but still burny 1122 00:47:06,645 --> 00:47:08,485 because that's what, that's what canes do, 1123 00:47:08,705 --> 00:47:09,965 but it's also got a thud to it. 1124 00:47:10,465 --> 00:47:12,885 So of those two sizes, we sell two variations. Mm-Hmm. 1125 00:47:12,925 --> 00:47:15,085 one with a wooden handle. Those come pre-made 1126 00:47:15,825 --> 00:47:16,965 one with a resin handle. 1127 00:47:16,965 --> 00:47:18,205 Mm-Hmm. where we pour 1128 00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:20,485 that cane handle once you order it, 1129 00:47:20,555 --> 00:47:23,405 because you can pick your colors, you can pick one color, 1130 00:47:23,665 --> 00:47:26,045 you can pick up to two colors. So, 1131 00:47:26,315 --> 00:47:27,315 - Okay. 1132 00:47:27,315 --> 00:47:28,165 And there, there was a kind 1133 00:47:28,165 --> 00:47:30,605 of a follow up question asked in the chat to this. 1134 00:47:30,945 --> 00:47:33,405 Uh, it says is because demand is so high 1135 00:47:33,435 --> 00:47:36,805 that you do customs, um, not necessarily in, 1136 00:47:36,825 --> 00:47:39,685 in the beginning when I first started playing with the, um, 1137 00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:43,445 with the resin handles for the canes, um, 1138 00:47:43,965 --> 00:47:45,085 I, I picked some colors. 1139 00:47:45,365 --> 00:47:48,405 I, I poured the resin and, and did that and, 1140 00:47:48,545 --> 00:47:53,245 and we did do, you know, uh, certain colors 1141 00:47:54,345 --> 00:47:59,285 and it got to the point that, um, 1142 00:48:00,465 --> 00:48:03,165 people were like, well, can you do these colors 1143 00:48:03,345 --> 00:48:04,725 or can you do those colors? 1144 00:48:04,785 --> 00:48:06,685 And, and this, and, and it was 1145 00:48:06,685 --> 00:48:10,885 after some discussion, rather than make a bunch of handles 1146 00:48:10,885 --> 00:48:14,885 and have them sit and come, you know, to find their person. 1147 00:48:15,745 --> 00:48:18,525 And resin is expensive, Micah is expensive. 1148 00:48:18,945 --> 00:48:22,005 Uh, we decided to go ahead and do it as custom orders. 1149 00:48:22,705 --> 00:48:27,205 Um, that way we pour the resin as we need it. Mm-Hmm. 1150 00:48:27,245 --> 00:48:29,965 and people get to pick the colors they want. 1151 00:48:30,095 --> 00:48:31,565 Right. It's right off the bat 1152 00:48:31,905 --> 00:48:34,885 - We are and probably will be forever while 1153 00:48:35,425 --> 00:48:36,885 the kry is in existence. 1154 00:48:36,885 --> 00:48:38,605 Mm-Hmm. our unlimited space, 1155 00:48:39,305 --> 00:48:41,005 we are also limited in manpower. 1156 00:48:41,035 --> 00:48:42,285 It's just the two of us. Right. 1157 00:48:42,385 --> 00:48:43,565 I'm not allowed to touch a blade 1158 00:48:43,565 --> 00:48:44,805 because I like having all my fingers. 1159 00:48:44,805 --> 00:48:47,765 Thanks . So certain things 1160 00:48:47,765 --> 00:48:49,245 that we can make in advance 1161 00:48:49,245 --> 00:48:51,485 and just have stocked, we will absolutely do that. 1162 00:48:51,485 --> 00:48:53,605 Yeah. Certain things where there's, we want 1163 00:48:53,605 --> 00:48:54,685 to give people choice 1164 00:48:54,865 --> 00:48:57,645 and we also don't wanna make a shit ton. 1165 00:48:58,055 --> 00:49:00,045 Right. And then not, you know, 1166 00:49:00,045 --> 00:49:02,965 it never move, then we do it like that. 1167 00:49:03,205 --> 00:49:06,125 Resin was an easy one. I'm actually thinking of doing that 1168 00:49:06,275 --> 00:49:10,245 with another product we have where color is involved 1169 00:49:10,305 --> 00:49:12,645 so people can just order the fucking color they want. 1170 00:49:12,645 --> 00:49:16,205 Mm-Hmm. . Um, but um, yeah, 1171 00:49:16,505 --> 00:49:19,605 so our canes, I canes correct me, we are, 1172 00:49:20,015 --> 00:49:23,725 we're an impact play is our main thing at the Ry. 1173 00:49:23,725 --> 00:49:25,565 Mm-Hmm. , it's mostly paddles, 1174 00:49:25,665 --> 00:49:28,645 but it's not all paddles and canes crack me up 1175 00:49:28,805 --> 00:49:30,645 'cause we'll go like weeks. 1176 00:49:30,665 --> 00:49:31,725 Nobody buys a cane. 1177 00:49:32,065 --> 00:49:35,245 And then in like a week and a half everybody 1178 00:49:35,435 --> 00:49:37,125 - Buys, they'll, they'll be flying out the, we 1179 00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:38,005 - Were sold out again and we're like, 1180 00:49:38,075 --> 00:49:39,165 wait, what happened there? 1181 00:49:39,165 --> 00:49:43,085 Mm-Hmm. . Um, so yeah. It's, it's 1182 00:49:43,585 --> 00:49:44,585 - Fun. 1183 00:49:44,585 --> 00:49:46,165 Yeah. So, you know, and, 1184 00:49:46,185 --> 00:49:49,205 and it same thing with the, uh, with the resin inlays, 1185 00:49:49,985 --> 00:49:52,925 you know, in, in the beginning tried, you know, doing a few 1186 00:49:53,545 --> 00:49:55,165 and, and putting them up on the site 1187 00:49:55,165 --> 00:49:56,845 and people were asking, you know, 1188 00:49:57,145 --> 00:49:58,485 are, is this color available? 1189 00:49:58,485 --> 00:50:00,765 Is that color available? Right? Can you do it like this? 1190 00:50:01,305 --> 00:50:03,765 And, and we just figured at that point it would be easier 1191 00:50:04,025 --> 00:50:05,725 to, you know, say, okay, 1192 00:50:05,725 --> 00:50:07,485 it takes x amount of time to do this. 1193 00:50:07,655 --> 00:50:10,445 Right. You know, sell it as a custom and, 1194 00:50:10,465 --> 00:50:12,085 and you pick your colors. And 1195 00:50:12,365 --> 00:50:16,325 - Actually, because there's a, it's reproducible. 1196 00:50:16,345 --> 00:50:19,285 Mm-Hmm. , it's the same size of paddles. 1197 00:50:19,285 --> 00:50:21,045 It's the same design. Resin inlay. 1198 00:50:21,225 --> 00:50:22,645 And it's the same standard colors. 1199 00:50:23,345 --> 00:50:25,045 We actually don't price it quite like a custom. 1200 00:50:25,315 --> 00:50:26,645 It's made to order. 1201 00:50:27,115 --> 00:50:28,445 - Yeah. - Custom orders. 1202 00:50:28,665 --> 00:50:32,245 We just, uh, I just promoted one on social media at the Kry 1203 00:50:32,545 --> 00:50:33,965 in most of the places, , um, 1204 00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:37,165 where they ordered a resin inlay paddle. 1205 00:50:37,185 --> 00:50:38,805 So for anybody who's like, what the fuck is that? 1206 00:50:38,835 --> 00:50:43,085 It's a wooden paddle, JB cuts out shapes through the, the 1207 00:50:43,895 --> 00:50:45,725 width thickness, whatever of the paddle. 1208 00:50:45,825 --> 00:50:47,125 And we fill that with resin 1209 00:50:47,545 --> 00:50:49,565 and we, the most popular one is the moon phase. 1210 00:50:49,745 --> 00:50:51,405 Mm-Hmm. . Thank you. Silent for being the very 1211 00:50:51,405 --> 00:50:53,565 first person to ever received that one. 1212 00:50:53,965 --> 00:50:55,485 . Um, X is the one that ordered it, 1213 00:50:55,505 --> 00:50:57,925 but silence paddle . 1214 00:50:58,315 --> 00:51:01,005 This person said, I would like the, the wood to be black, 1215 00:51:01,035 --> 00:51:02,125 like stained black. 1216 00:51:02,125 --> 00:51:03,405 Mm-Hmm. . I would like the moon 1217 00:51:03,405 --> 00:51:04,645 phase to be gold. 1218 00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:08,685 Well we do not standard offer stained wood and a 1219 00:51:08,785 --> 00:51:09,805 and gold as a color. 1220 00:51:09,805 --> 00:51:12,005 Right. That was a true custom order. Mm-Hmm. . 1221 00:51:12,005 --> 00:51:13,205 And based on having 1222 00:51:13,265 --> 00:51:15,765 to source the supplies the extra time it would take 1223 00:51:15,765 --> 00:51:17,925 and who staining that wood did take extra time. 1224 00:51:17,995 --> 00:51:19,165 Yeah. Um, and all the extra things 1225 00:51:19,165 --> 00:51:20,765 that becomes a true custom order. 1226 00:51:20,865 --> 00:51:24,205 And that price is not the same price you see on the website. 1227 00:51:24,205 --> 00:51:26,525 No made to order gets a standard price 1228 00:51:26,715 --> 00:51:29,045 because we know how that, we know how long it's gonna take. 1229 00:51:29,045 --> 00:51:30,085 We know what it's gonna take. 1230 00:51:30,295 --> 00:51:32,845 We're telling you what materials we have, the colors, 1231 00:51:33,105 --> 00:51:34,725 the designs done. 1232 00:51:34,955 --> 00:51:36,805 This is your price. So that's made to order. 1233 00:51:37,115 --> 00:51:39,565 Then there's custom where it's like, what do you want? 1234 00:51:39,705 --> 00:51:42,045 And can we do it? We get custom requests all the time 1235 00:51:42,045 --> 00:51:43,965 that we're like, that's a really cool idea. 1236 00:51:44,065 --> 00:51:45,205 We literally cannot do that. 1237 00:51:45,565 --> 00:51:47,245 , we do not have the tools. 1238 00:51:47,385 --> 00:51:48,845 We do not have the skills. Mm-Hmm. . 1239 00:51:49,025 --> 00:51:51,205 That's just not even fucking possible . 1240 00:51:51,205 --> 00:51:54,205 Like, so, um, so yeah. 1241 00:51:54,425 --> 00:51:57,165 So that's also the difference between custom made 1242 00:51:57,165 --> 00:51:59,005 to order true and then ready made. 1243 00:51:59,005 --> 00:52:01,245 Ready made is the stuff we try to keep in stock. Mm-Hmm. 1244 00:52:01,285 --> 00:52:03,165 and like our canes with wooden handles are 1245 00:52:03,165 --> 00:52:04,605 ready made when we have them. 1246 00:52:05,545 --> 00:52:07,645 - And see, that's why I keep you around. Mm-Hmm. 1247 00:52:07,685 --> 00:52:08,805 , I, I go out in shop 1248 00:52:08,805 --> 00:52:10,005 and I just make, make, make 1249 00:52:10,105 --> 00:52:11,565 and you know, you 1250 00:52:12,305 --> 00:52:15,365 do all the good stuff front facing. Yep. 1251 00:52:16,075 --> 00:52:17,645 - Yeah. I'm gonna double check, 1252 00:52:17,665 --> 00:52:19,565 but I believe that was our last question. 1253 00:52:19,875 --> 00:52:24,445 - Okay. Um, - Saying that we will take 1254 00:52:25,045 --> 00:52:29,085 a couple of, and couple y'all is in the two range, maybe up 1255 00:52:29,085 --> 00:52:32,565 to three from the YouTube live chat, uh, 1256 00:52:32,585 --> 00:52:34,525 to ask a question on YouTube live chat 1257 00:52:34,665 --> 00:52:39,645 and um, uh, 1258 00:52:39,665 --> 00:52:40,685 get an actual answer. 1259 00:52:40,735 --> 00:52:42,885 Sorry, I got sidetracked and I can't talk 1260 00:52:42,945 --> 00:52:43,965 and think at the same time. 1261 00:52:44,585 --> 00:52:47,285 Um, please tag us at loving bdsm. Mm-Hmm. 1262 00:52:47,325 --> 00:52:48,885 because it lights up for us. It should 1263 00:52:48,885 --> 00:52:49,925 not be a long question. 1264 00:52:49,925 --> 00:52:51,085 If it takes more than one little 1265 00:52:51,085 --> 00:52:52,365 chat box to ask the question. 1266 00:52:52,365 --> 00:52:53,525 That's too in depth. 1267 00:52:54,065 --> 00:52:56,285 You can use our contact page on our website. Mm-Hmm. 1268 00:52:56,325 --> 00:52:59,645 . Um, so 1269 00:52:59,645 --> 00:53:01,655 yeah, feel free. 1270 00:53:01,715 --> 00:53:05,175 Mm-Hmm. . Um, there we go. 1271 00:53:05,525 --> 00:53:07,455 - Okay. We have, that wasn't too bad. 1272 00:53:07,455 --> 00:53:10,855 We got through no questions fairly well. I know there were 1273 00:53:10,855 --> 00:53:12,535 - Several and like, I felt 1274 00:53:13,195 --> 00:53:15,775 us going potentially going off on tangents on a couple 1275 00:53:15,775 --> 00:53:18,575 of them and we, we sort of reeled ourself back in. 1276 00:53:18,575 --> 00:53:19,695 Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Mm-Hmm. . 1277 00:53:19,695 --> 00:53:20,695 We'll give it a few minutes if no 1278 00:53:20,815 --> 00:53:21,735 questions come through on live chat. 1279 00:53:21,835 --> 00:53:23,375 No worries. We can do a bonus section. 1280 00:53:23,685 --> 00:53:25,325 - Head to the bonus section. Um, 1281 00:53:25,425 --> 00:53:26,925 you got, got stuff to talk about, 1282 00:53:27,215 --> 00:53:28,215 - Right? 1283 00:53:28,215 --> 00:53:29,845 A, a plug for people who have questions. 1284 00:53:30,145 --> 00:53:32,805 Uh, we have a Monday episode, it's audio podcast 1285 00:53:33,065 --> 00:53:35,445 and YouTube video where we answer a question. 1286 00:53:35,945 --> 00:53:38,885 Um, and those will go a little bit more in depth on Yeah. 1287 00:53:38,985 --> 00:53:42,085 Um, , we have had videos that were as short 1288 00:53:42,105 --> 00:53:43,485 as 10 or 11 minutes. 1289 00:53:44,185 --> 00:53:46,805 We have had videos that were as long as 30 minutes. Yeah. 1290 00:53:46,925 --> 00:53:49,245 . But they're never as long as this 1291 00:53:49,245 --> 00:53:50,245 - Episode. 1292 00:53:50,245 --> 00:53:50,765 As this episode. No. 1293 00:53:51,785 --> 00:53:53,765 - Um, - . 1294 00:53:54,105 --> 00:53:55,245 - And that's where it's like, okay, 1295 00:53:55,245 --> 00:53:57,405 here's my highly specific question. 1296 00:53:57,405 --> 00:53:58,885 Here's all of the details. 1297 00:53:59,115 --> 00:54:03,845 Last, uh, this Monday of the week of recording that, 1298 00:54:03,985 --> 00:54:07,485 um, that question was several hundred words 1299 00:54:07,825 --> 00:54:09,445 and we, we read it. 1300 00:54:09,755 --> 00:54:11,805 Yeah. Um, and uh, 1301 00:54:12,785 --> 00:54:15,925 and that's what the, we use those videos for is 1302 00:54:15,945 --> 00:54:18,525 to like really dig deep into Right. 1303 00:54:18,705 --> 00:54:20,525 Um, a question. Because sometimes, 1304 00:54:20,525 --> 00:54:22,725 'cause sometimes your situation truly is, like, 1305 00:54:22,785 --> 00:54:24,165 the details are very unique, 1306 00:54:24,305 --> 00:54:28,005 but the situations tend to be a little bit more universal. 1307 00:54:28,465 --> 00:54:31,605 And, um, somebody else will go through something similar. 1308 00:54:32,065 --> 00:54:34,125 Uh, we did get a question in the live chat. Mm-Hmm. 1309 00:54:34,165 --> 00:54:37,325 about the march virtual munch. Mm-Hmm. 1310 00:54:37,365 --> 00:54:40,325 , which is a Friday night live stream, hangout, 1311 00:54:40,325 --> 00:54:41,445 hangout thing we do on YouTube. 1312 00:54:41,445 --> 00:54:44,685 Mm-Hmm. . Uh, and yes, it is March 15th Friday, 1313 00:54:44,685 --> 00:54:48,245 March 15th, starts at 9:30 PM Eastern. 1314 00:54:48,865 --> 00:54:52,125 We take questions during that as well. Right. 1315 00:54:52,125 --> 00:54:54,845 We talk about whatever comes to mind. Mm-Hmm. 1316 00:54:54,885 --> 00:54:57,285 , um, random stuff. 1317 00:54:57,565 --> 00:55:01,865 I mean, we've talked about alcohol, we've talked about pie 1318 00:55:02,115 --> 00:55:03,385 - Bacon, we - Talked about bacon. 1319 00:55:03,865 --> 00:55:05,985 . There was the great bacon debate. 1320 00:55:06,405 --> 00:55:07,665 - Yes. Yes. - There was. 1321 00:55:07,665 --> 00:55:10,265 And I still contend that half of y'all were wrong. 1322 00:55:11,005 --> 00:55:14,065 The superior bacon is crispy. I'm so sorry. Soft. 1323 00:55:14,285 --> 00:55:16,945 - No, - The superior bacon should crunch 1324 00:55:16,975 --> 00:55:18,185 like a chip in my mouth. 1325 00:55:18,705 --> 00:55:20,945 I don't want it burnt. I will eat it burnt. 1326 00:55:21,185 --> 00:55:22,305 I don't want it burnt, but I will eat it. 1327 00:55:22,305 --> 00:55:23,705 - Burn, crunch. Don't want it raw, but there's 1328 00:55:23,705 --> 00:55:25,385 that sweet spot where it's not. 1329 00:55:25,775 --> 00:55:28,345 - Nope. Yeah. Nope. No. 1330 00:55:28,685 --> 00:55:31,985 Um, so those are the things you miss if you don't stream. 1331 00:55:32,525 --> 00:55:33,585 We do it once a month. 1332 00:55:34,115 --> 00:55:36,945 Tends to be the third Friday of the month. Yeah. 1333 00:55:38,185 --> 00:55:39,825 life can happen and it's, you know, 1334 00:55:39,825 --> 00:55:40,945 sometimes shifted, 1335 00:55:41,165 --> 00:55:42,825 but most of the time it's the third Friday of the month. 1336 00:55:42,825 --> 00:55:45,865 Right. Um, so yeah. And it, and it's random. 1337 00:55:45,965 --> 00:55:49,265 And I sometimes it's a pajama party. Um, we are in our PJs. 1338 00:55:49,805 --> 00:55:52,905 Um, yep. And, uh, 1339 00:55:54,655 --> 00:55:56,065 yeah, it's just 1340 00:55:57,385 --> 00:55:58,385 - . 1341 00:55:58,385 --> 00:56:00,585 - It's been a hot minute since we've had an adult beverage. 1342 00:56:00,805 --> 00:56:02,025 It is at a, at a stream. 1343 00:56:02,725 --> 00:56:04,865 We have never taken an edible and then done 1344 00:56:05,405 --> 00:56:06,625 or edible for me. 1345 00:56:06,645 --> 00:56:08,505 You smoke a bowl . We could do that sometime. 1346 00:56:09,785 --> 00:56:11,225 - I mean, I, no, why 1347 00:56:11,225 --> 00:56:12,225 - Not? 1348 00:56:12,225 --> 00:56:13,825 Is it 'cause your eyes don't open all the way? ? 1349 00:56:15,885 --> 00:56:19,065 - The strain I use - Puts you to sleep is 1350 00:56:19,065 --> 00:56:20,065 - For relaxing. 1351 00:56:20,065 --> 00:56:20,865 It's true. And it puts me to sleep. 1352 00:56:21,085 --> 00:56:23,965 So all I'd do is sit here and my head would start . 1353 00:56:25,405 --> 00:56:27,965 - Actually, I saw you last night after you smoked. 1354 00:56:28,125 --> 00:56:30,245 I took, I took my gummy and I was like, Mm-Hmm. 1355 00:56:30,285 --> 00:56:34,165 feeling good. And you just sat on the couch 1356 00:56:34,785 --> 00:56:38,805 and stared into the middle distance in one direction. 1357 00:56:39,425 --> 00:56:40,685 And then you would go back to your phone 1358 00:56:40,825 --> 00:56:42,605 and watch reels or play your game. 1359 00:56:42,605 --> 00:56:44,005 Mm-Hmm. . And then you'd look up 1360 00:56:44,265 --> 00:56:48,285 and just stare at another angle. 1361 00:56:48,965 --> 00:56:51,965 . And I was, 1362 00:56:52,645 --> 00:56:55,565 I was sitting on the other couch trying to read my ebook 1363 00:56:55,985 --> 00:56:59,205 and eventually it just became like words fluttering past me. 1364 00:56:59,205 --> 00:57:00,725 I was like, I don't even know what these fucking words mean. 1365 00:57:01,005 --> 00:57:02,325 . So then I guess I started 1366 00:57:02,325 --> 00:57:03,645 staring into the middle distance. 1367 00:57:03,645 --> 00:57:05,045 But it was in your direction. 1368 00:57:05,485 --> 00:57:08,685 - . - Yeah. 1369 00:57:09,985 --> 00:57:13,045 - Wow. Okay. - So it sounds to me like either, 1370 00:57:14,045 --> 00:57:16,605 'cause we did, so, um, we're on, we're about 1371 00:57:16,605 --> 00:57:18,925 to try the third type of gummy for me. 1372 00:57:18,925 --> 00:57:21,165 Mm-Hmm. . The first one we got is so funny. 1373 00:57:21,265 --> 00:57:22,365 It was called knockout. 1374 00:57:22,945 --> 00:57:25,845 And yet we were then shocked when it literally knocked me 1375 00:57:25,845 --> 00:57:28,765 out, down, down for the count. 1376 00:57:29,345 --> 00:57:31,165 The next one we got was a hybrid. 1377 00:57:31,945 --> 00:57:35,485 Um, that it makes it easier for me to sleep. 1378 00:57:35,555 --> 00:57:37,125 It's just a very, I'm very relaxed, 1379 00:57:37,505 --> 00:57:40,005 but I'm not like, about to fall over 1380 00:57:40,005 --> 00:57:41,685 and fall asleep like the knockout does. 1381 00:57:42,465 --> 00:57:45,045 Now. We have, and I can't remember what it's called, the, 1382 00:57:45,585 --> 00:57:47,965 but it's the one that's not supposed to make you sleepy. 1383 00:57:47,965 --> 00:57:50,965 It's supposed to like, help you like not be so anxious 1384 00:57:50,985 --> 00:57:52,285 and just help you relax a little bit. 1385 00:57:52,505 --> 00:57:55,285 But I really think that my problem is, is that I am 1386 00:57:55,855 --> 00:57:57,245 never actually relaxed. 1387 00:57:57,425 --> 00:58:00,605 And so once I am relaxed, even if it's 1388 00:58:00,605 --> 00:58:03,645 through artificial means, the only thing my body knows 1389 00:58:03,645 --> 00:58:07,005 to do is to go, oh, we're tired. , 1390 00:58:07,405 --> 00:58:09,165 - - This. 1391 00:58:09,465 --> 00:58:11,005 We have relaxed. Now the only thing 1392 00:58:11,005 --> 00:58:12,165 left to do is go to sleep 1393 00:58:12,645 --> 00:58:13,645 - . 1394 00:58:13,645 --> 00:58:13,685 Yeah. Yeah. 1395 00:58:14,825 --> 00:58:17,925 - So you could take that gummy 1396 00:58:17,925 --> 00:58:20,365 with me once we actually test it out on our, we, 1397 00:58:20,425 --> 00:58:21,885 we bought it and I haven't tried it yet. 1398 00:58:21,905 --> 00:58:24,685 Mm-Hmm. Because I don't, if I'm gonna try a new gummy, 1399 00:58:25,435 --> 00:58:27,125 it's going to be on a day 1400 00:58:27,125 --> 00:58:28,445 where I do not have a lot of responsibilities. 1401 00:58:28,605 --> 00:58:31,725 'cause I don't know how it's going to affect me. Mm-Hmm. 1402 00:58:31,825 --> 00:58:34,325 And since this one is not supposed to be a sleepy one, 1403 00:58:34,725 --> 00:58:36,245 I need to take it earlier in the day. 1404 00:58:36,245 --> 00:58:38,525 Because my fear is what if that hypes me up so much 1405 00:58:38,525 --> 00:58:40,845 that I then can't go to sleep, then I'll be pissed. 1406 00:58:41,505 --> 00:58:45,805 But I do, I do think my body is so unused to just relaxing 1407 00:58:45,805 --> 00:58:46,925 that it's like, oh, we've relaxed. 1408 00:58:46,955 --> 00:58:49,005 It's clearly, it's clearly time to just go to sleep. 1409 00:58:49,105 --> 00:58:50,925 - Mm-Hmm. . - So, 1410 00:58:51,225 --> 00:58:53,085 - Um, yes. 1411 00:58:54,105 --> 00:58:58,285 Is it legal in Florida? Um, you, you, 1412 00:58:58,475 --> 00:58:59,565 - Well, I mean, well we bought, 1413 00:58:59,585 --> 00:59:01,285 we buy legal things. Yeah. Like, I'm not, 1414 00:59:01,425 --> 00:59:02,605 - We don't, um, yeah. 1415 00:59:02,745 --> 00:59:05,765 You, you can get a medical marijuana card, which 1416 00:59:05,765 --> 00:59:06,765 - Is not what we have. 1417 00:59:06,765 --> 00:59:08,645 - Right. And, and also 1418 00:59:08,645 --> 00:59:11,685 because of a kind of a loophole 1419 00:59:12,225 --> 00:59:15,405 in Florida law is, is basically what it comes down to. 1420 00:59:15,985 --> 00:59:19,525 Um, there, there are two strains, Delta eight, delta nine, 1421 00:59:20,065 --> 00:59:24,925 um, lower, uh, THC content than what you would get 1422 00:59:24,955 --> 00:59:26,445 through a dispensary. 1423 00:59:26,445 --> 00:59:28,365 Mm-Hmm. . But it can be legally sold 1424 00:59:29,355 --> 00:59:30,765 over the counter technically. 1425 00:59:30,765 --> 00:59:33,045 - And I was very skeptical of that. I was Mm-Hmm. 1426 00:59:33,085 --> 00:59:36,045 , I was the old person type who was like, oh, 1427 00:59:36,235 --> 00:59:39,885 they'll just say anything to sell a product there. 1428 00:59:40,265 --> 00:59:42,045 It can't be real. It can't be real. 1429 00:59:42,145 --> 00:59:46,365 And then JB tried, he, he smokes, 1430 00:59:46,445 --> 00:59:48,045 I do gummies 'cause I'm not smoking shit. 1431 00:59:48,505 --> 00:59:50,845 Um, and that effect was real. 1432 00:59:50,865 --> 00:59:55,365 And then of course I, I did the thing that 1433 00:59:56,585 --> 00:59:59,165 is it, it's almost a trope now. 1434 00:59:59,585 --> 01:00:00,605 And it's comedic. 1435 01:00:00,725 --> 01:00:04,125 A person who's never taken an edible takes a whole one 1436 01:00:04,185 --> 01:00:06,685 or starts out taking a a, a fine dose 1437 01:00:06,685 --> 01:00:07,725 and then goes, nothing's happening. 1438 01:00:07,725 --> 01:00:10,605 And then they take the rest. I took a knockout gummy 1439 01:00:10,605 --> 01:00:12,965 and if you don't know the words are there knockout? 1440 01:00:13,075 --> 01:00:15,565 Yeah. Lays you flat on your ass. Mm-Hmm. 1441 01:00:15,605 --> 01:00:17,205 , I took the whole fucking 1442 01:00:17,205 --> 01:00:18,205 - Thing. 1443 01:00:18,205 --> 01:00:20,885 She was done. Y'all 1444 01:00:21,405 --> 01:00:23,045 I poured her into bed that night. 1445 01:00:23,645 --> 01:00:27,125 - I, it was the, so I could not hold my body up. 1446 01:00:27,565 --> 01:00:29,685 I would start to drift 'cause it was knocking me out. 1447 01:00:29,685 --> 01:00:32,765 It was making me want go to sleep. And I, I would just start 1448 01:00:32,765 --> 01:00:35,765 to fall forward in whatever position I was in 1449 01:00:35,765 --> 01:00:36,765 and then just hang there. 1450 01:00:37,385 --> 01:00:40,845 But also I felt like I could feel every nerve ending under 1451 01:00:40,945 --> 01:00:44,165 my skin and like it was buzzing like static on a tv. 1452 01:00:44,905 --> 01:00:46,645 And also like, 1453 01:00:46,825 --> 01:00:48,685 if I could hold a thought, I felt like time travel. 1454 01:00:48,925 --> 01:00:52,925 'cause I, I would, something would either take 30 seconds 1455 01:00:53,145 --> 01:00:54,405 or it would take two hours, 1456 01:00:54,585 --> 01:00:56,525 but actually only five minutes had passed. 1457 01:00:56,865 --> 01:01:00,125 It was fucking wild. I very rarely take that one, that one. 1458 01:01:00,355 --> 01:01:04,405 Even though I only take like a quarter of it now. It Mm-Hmm. 1459 01:01:04,745 --> 01:01:07,645 The one I take now makes me very giggly. 1460 01:01:07,745 --> 01:01:09,005 But I, I do go to sleep 1461 01:01:09,955 --> 01:01:11,805 once I'm laying down and the lights are out. 1462 01:01:12,005 --> 01:01:13,765 Yeah. I'm asleep. So now I have the new 1463 01:01:13,765 --> 01:01:14,845 one to try to see what it does. 1464 01:01:15,565 --> 01:01:19,405 . Okay. So, um, 1465 01:01:21,065 --> 01:01:21,845 we did not get any more 1466 01:01:21,965 --> 01:01:23,125 questions. So we'll go to a bonus section. 1467 01:01:23,675 --> 01:01:27,165 - Yeah. But at any rate, um, it, it helps me a lot. 1468 01:01:27,745 --> 01:01:30,605 Um, I carry my stress in my back. 1469 01:01:30,985 --> 01:01:32,485 - Yes. Which is already jacked up 1470 01:01:32,485 --> 01:01:34,645 - Physically, which is already jacked up as it is. 1471 01:01:35,345 --> 01:01:38,325 And I have found that, you know, 1472 01:01:38,385 --> 01:01:41,205 on days when I've had a very long day when I've been on my 1473 01:01:41,205 --> 01:01:45,805 feet a lot, um, having a little bit of smoke helps 1474 01:01:46,335 --> 01:01:47,965 relax me, unwind me. 1475 01:01:47,965 --> 01:01:51,365 Mm-Hmm. . And I actually sleep better at night. 1476 01:01:51,835 --> 01:01:55,405 - Yeah, you do. - So that, uh, for me it is, 1477 01:01:55,425 --> 01:01:57,765 it has been a big, uh, boon. 1478 01:01:57,895 --> 01:01:59,325 Especially with my back. 1479 01:01:59,555 --> 01:02:03,605 - Yeah. Um, I forget it exists most of the time. 1480 01:02:03,675 --> 01:02:05,205 Like, I don't ever think, oh, I would like, 1481 01:02:05,525 --> 01:02:06,925 I like a gummy today. 1482 01:02:06,925 --> 01:02:07,925 Mm-Hmm. . 1483 01:02:08,915 --> 01:02:10,765 It's usually JB going, I'm gonna go smoke a bowl. 1484 01:02:10,765 --> 01:02:14,165 And I'm like, Hey, yeah, I'll, I'll take part of a gummy. 1485 01:02:14,565 --> 01:02:16,485 I would like to fall asleep easily tonight. Mm-Hmm. 1486 01:02:16,525 --> 01:02:19,725 . So anyway, , not 1487 01:02:19,725 --> 01:02:20,925 that we're not already really, 1488 01:02:20,925 --> 01:02:22,885 if you think about it in the bonus section, 1489 01:02:23,065 --> 01:02:26,165 we can officially go into a bonus section now 1490 01:02:26,685 --> 01:02:27,885 'cause no more questions came through. 1491 01:02:28,945 --> 01:02:32,495 So we can go into a bonus section. 1492 01:02:32,725 --> 01:02:33,975 - Okay. Are we good? I 1493 01:02:33,975 --> 01:02:34,975 - Don't know. 1494 01:02:34,975 --> 01:02:38,575 Are we? I don't know. I feel like you zoned out there for a 1495 01:02:38,575 --> 01:02:39,575 - Second. 1496 01:02:39,575 --> 01:02:42,935 I was reading the chat. , so. Alright. 1497 01:02:44,335 --> 01:02:45,455 - I dunno. Sure. Uhhuh, . 1498 01:02:46,365 --> 01:02:48,695 - Keep it kinky. All keep - And we'll see you next week. 1499 01:02:58,845 --> 01:02:59,135 Doty. 1500 01:02:59,595 --> 01:03:01,455 - Yes baby girl. - Can we just 1501 01:03:01,655 --> 01:03:02,775 continue talking to the crickets? 1502 01:03:03,395 --> 01:03:05,495 - We can continue talking to the crickets. 1503 01:03:05,675 --> 01:03:08,735 - So I'm, my fear is, I, I I said we'll see you next week, 1504 01:03:08,795 --> 01:03:10,175 but you and I have just have 1505 01:03:10,175 --> 01:03:12,855 to talk about when every quarter, every three months. 1506 01:03:12,855 --> 01:03:14,375 Mm-Hmm. We try to take a week off's 1507 01:03:14,375 --> 01:03:16,095 and it's mostly a week off of content creation. 1508 01:03:16,095 --> 01:03:17,615 The kry is still going. Yeah. Okay. 1509 01:03:18,155 --> 01:03:19,575 Um, we're still gonna ship orders, 1510 01:03:19,575 --> 01:03:21,135 we're still gonna make product, but we like 1511 01:03:21,665 --> 01:03:22,695 chill out with everything else. 1512 01:03:22,875 --> 01:03:26,495 And the march is the last month of the quarter for us. Oh. 1513 01:03:26,595 --> 01:03:28,055 And we haven't picked a, a week, 1514 01:03:28,075 --> 01:03:29,375 so I say we'll see you next week, 1515 01:03:29,395 --> 01:03:30,455 but we haven't picked a week yet. 1516 01:03:31,195 --> 01:03:34,935 But so the youngest is on online 1517 01:03:35,725 --> 01:03:36,775 virtual school 1518 01:03:37,075 --> 01:03:39,615 and so doesn't really get a spring break per se, 1519 01:03:40,315 --> 01:03:43,695 but the oldest is on spring break next week 1520 01:03:44,035 --> 01:03:45,415 and wants to come home. 1521 01:03:46,015 --> 01:03:47,295 I don't think it's gonna last as long 1522 01:03:47,295 --> 01:03:48,455 as he thinks he's gonna be here. Yeah. 1523 01:03:48,455 --> 01:03:49,935 - He thinks he's gonna be - Here for a solid week 1524 01:03:50,115 --> 01:03:51,575 and I think he's gonna be sick 1525 01:03:51,575 --> 01:03:53,815 of our shit in about 72 hours. 1526 01:03:54,025 --> 01:03:56,015 Right. . But I'm not telling him. 1527 01:03:56,035 --> 01:03:57,975 No, come on home baby. Let's, it's fine. 1528 01:03:58,155 --> 01:04:02,495 Um, yes, you can use my car. Um, so next week, 1529 01:04:02,805 --> 01:04:04,775 - Well, he does have to work several days. Right. 1530 01:04:04,835 --> 01:04:06,895 - And he works, - He school's out, but he still has work. 1531 01:04:06,895 --> 01:04:08,175 - Right. And he has to, it'll be like 1532 01:04:08,175 --> 01:04:09,215 an hour drive, commute. 1533 01:04:09,525 --> 01:04:12,015 He's like, I'll put gas in the car. Yeah, you fucking will. 1534 01:04:12,115 --> 01:04:15,015 Yep. . I was like, and you will drive my car as if 1535 01:04:15,595 --> 01:04:17,015 you are the one who's going to pay 1536 01:04:17,015 --> 01:04:18,215 for the ticket if you get one. 1537 01:04:18,355 --> 01:04:20,135 He was like, yes, I will. . 1538 01:04:21,645 --> 01:04:23,735 - Okay, - Then you can commute. Mm-Hmm. . 1539 01:04:23,955 --> 01:04:26,055 Um, so it's like, okay, do we want 1540 01:04:26,155 --> 01:04:29,455 to take the week off while they're both 1541 01:04:30,165 --> 01:04:31,175 like the youngest? 1542 01:04:32,595 --> 01:04:34,215 If he will get his shit together this week, 1543 01:04:34,315 --> 01:04:36,375 he won't actually have to do much at all next week. 1544 01:04:36,655 --> 01:04:37,815 'cause he'll be in between some stuff 1545 01:04:38,195 --> 01:04:39,975 and the oldest will be sort of off. 1546 01:04:40,355 --> 01:04:42,535 So do we take the break that week? 1547 01:04:42,535 --> 01:04:44,935 Do we take it the next, do we, what do we do? 1548 01:04:44,935 --> 01:04:46,375 We haven't decided. So 1549 01:04:48,055 --> 01:04:49,295 I say we'll see you 1550 01:04:49,295 --> 01:04:50,455 next week. Yeah. We might have live. 1551 01:04:50,485 --> 01:04:53,175 - Well you know what, that might be a good next week might 1552 01:04:53,175 --> 01:04:54,655 be the good time to take the break then. 1553 01:04:54,915 --> 01:04:57,655 - Except we need to record a thing that we're doing 1554 01:04:57,795 --> 01:04:59,135 for another thing coming. 1555 01:04:59,545 --> 01:05:01,495 Right. So see that's what I'm saying. 1556 01:05:01,615 --> 01:05:02,615 I don't know what the answer is, 1557 01:05:03,875 --> 01:05:07,455 - But that's only sit down and record a a video still work. 1558 01:05:08,065 --> 01:05:09,975 - Still work. That's what I'm saying. 1559 01:05:09,975 --> 01:05:11,815 We just need to look at a calendar. Yeah. I don't even 1560 01:05:11,885 --> 01:05:12,885 - Know. 1561 01:05:15,315 --> 01:05:19,765 - Yep. Yeah. So, um, speaking of the oldest 1562 01:05:20,525 --> 01:05:24,045 and the fact that I have no sense of time, 1563 01:05:24,155 --> 01:05:26,245 most time, like what, how do calendars work? 1564 01:05:26,315 --> 01:05:27,525 What are dates? Mm. 1565 01:05:28,785 --> 01:05:32,285 The, he has a concert Thursday this week, March 7th 1566 01:05:32,285 --> 01:05:34,125 that we've known about first a few weeks now. 1567 01:05:34,145 --> 01:05:35,845 Mm-Hmm. whole family's planned on going. 1568 01:05:35,855 --> 01:05:39,285 Whole family, the three of us. Um, great. 1569 01:05:39,465 --> 01:05:42,125 And then several days ago I get a text from the oldest 1570 01:05:42,385 --> 01:05:46,685 and he goes, I have another concert this Wednesday 1571 01:05:47,265 --> 01:05:48,365 for Brass band, 1572 01:05:48,365 --> 01:05:50,445 which is like a special something that he's been doing. 1573 01:05:50,805 --> 01:05:54,685 I was like, okay, I don't think it'll be all of us, 1574 01:05:54,905 --> 01:05:56,965 but I will at least be there for Wednesday. 1575 01:05:57,225 --> 01:06:01,285 And then it was today that I realized how days work 1576 01:06:01,905 --> 01:06:03,845 and that I realized that I'll be driving 1577 01:06:03,905 --> 01:06:06,045 to Gainesville tonight and these things are always like 1578 01:06:06,415 --> 01:06:09,045 seven something at night and then it's takes a while. 1579 01:06:09,045 --> 01:06:11,565 And then, uh, and then it's, we're never home before 10. 1580 01:06:11,705 --> 01:06:14,605 And, uh, so I'm driving to Gainesville 1581 01:06:14,605 --> 01:06:15,605 to see a concert tonight. 1582 01:06:15,605 --> 01:06:17,125 Mm-Hmm. Wednesday day of recording 1583 01:06:17,545 --> 01:06:19,205 and then tomorrow night Yeah. 1584 01:06:19,205 --> 01:06:20,685 Jamie's like, I'm not fucking you on . 1585 01:06:21,065 --> 01:06:23,285 And then tomorrow night we are going 1586 01:06:23,415 --> 01:06:25,045 again for another late night. 1587 01:06:25,105 --> 01:06:29,445 And I'm just, I'm, I'm too old 1588 01:06:29,665 --> 01:06:31,645 for late nights in the middle of the week. 1589 01:06:32,005 --> 01:06:34,005 like, just not built that way anymore. 1590 01:06:34,225 --> 01:06:37,685 I'm going, I'm going, look, the kid doesn't want any, 1591 01:06:37,685 --> 01:06:39,005 he doesn't even ask for fucking money. 1592 01:06:39,145 --> 01:06:40,885 He, every once in a while was like, can you drive me 1593 01:06:40,885 --> 01:06:43,325 to a grocery store so I can buy more than two things 1594 01:06:43,325 --> 01:06:45,085 that I can put in a backpack . 1595 01:06:45,505 --> 01:06:47,245 And can you come to my performances? 1596 01:06:47,245 --> 01:06:49,045 And when he tells me about a performance, 1597 01:06:49,285 --> 01:06:51,405 I know he wants somebody there. 1598 01:06:52,305 --> 01:06:54,685 I'm going, I'm fucking going. We live close enough. 1599 01:06:54,685 --> 01:06:56,365 There's no reason not to. Mm-Hmm. . 1600 01:06:56,505 --> 01:06:57,765 But, ah, and I'm excited. 1601 01:06:57,785 --> 01:07:01,605 Except I hate driving in the dark these days. 1602 01:07:01,885 --> 01:07:03,885 I just, I'm, I'm, 1603 01:07:04,165 --> 01:07:05,965 I don't handle it the way I did 20 years ago. 1604 01:07:06,205 --> 01:07:08,605 I can and I will. Yeah. I know. I, I, 1605 01:07:09,085 --> 01:07:10,045 - I, I cannot. So 1606 01:07:10,045 --> 01:07:11,045 - I'm not looking forward to that 1607 01:07:11,045 --> 01:07:11,885 - Part. 1608 01:07:11,885 --> 01:07:13,445 I I love seeing him perform. Yeah. 1609 01:07:13,965 --> 01:07:17,485 I, I love going to the concerts. The music is, is amazing. 1610 01:07:18,945 --> 01:07:21,765 And, and the concert hall is beautiful. Mm-Hmm. 1611 01:07:21,805 --> 01:07:23,245 . I, I think it's, it's a, it's a, 1612 01:07:23,245 --> 01:07:26,085 it's a wonderful place to, to sit and, 1613 01:07:26,145 --> 01:07:28,565 and listen to, to the music and, 1614 01:07:28,665 --> 01:07:30,445 and watch everybody perform. 1615 01:07:31,185 --> 01:07:32,565 Um, but it 1616 01:07:32,995 --> 01:07:33,995 - It's - A lot. 1617 01:07:33,995 --> 01:07:34,805 It, it is a lot. 1618 01:07:35,065 --> 01:07:38,605 And you know, the, the last few times it's been 12, 1619 01:07:38,665 --> 01:07:41,325 one o'clock in the morning by the time we roll home. 1620 01:07:41,695 --> 01:07:44,685 Right. And, and then get up the next day for work. 1621 01:07:44,685 --> 01:07:46,325 Get up the next morning and, and work. 1622 01:07:46,915 --> 01:07:49,845 - Yeah. - I, I can't, I can't do it like 1623 01:07:49,845 --> 01:07:51,045 that anymore. I just can't. 1624 01:07:51,225 --> 01:07:55,525 - No. And I, I'm, I'm not gonna be for shit on Thursday 1625 01:07:55,545 --> 01:07:57,805 and by Friday even fucking worse. 1626 01:07:57,805 --> 01:07:59,085 Worse. Right. Like, I already know 1627 01:07:59,085 --> 01:08:00,565 that I'm gonna do it anyway. 1628 01:08:00,665 --> 01:08:03,005 Mm-Hmm. because he didn't ask for a lot. 1629 01:08:03,625 --> 01:08:06,365 He asked for this. I'm going, it's, it's easy. Right. 1630 01:08:06,365 --> 01:08:07,405 It's an easy yes. For me, 1631 01:08:07,875 --> 01:08:10,685 that doesn't stop my little anxious heart from already in my 1632 01:08:10,685 --> 01:08:12,365 head going, okay, when you make the drive, you know 1633 01:08:12,365 --> 01:08:13,645 where you're gonna turn and you know, 1634 01:08:13,645 --> 01:08:14,725 the parking garage you're gonna go in 1635 01:08:14,725 --> 01:08:15,580 and then you, you know exactly 1636 01:08:15,580 --> 01:08:16,780 what the direction is you're gonna walk. 1637 01:08:16,825 --> 01:08:19,365 And I am not going up to the fucking balcony to watch, 1638 01:08:19,545 --> 01:08:21,005 I'm staying on ground level. 1639 01:08:21,525 --> 01:08:23,645 'cause I don't have anybody who loves me to catch me if 1640 01:08:23,645 --> 01:08:25,245 and when I fall down the stairs. 1641 01:08:25,745 --> 01:08:28,725 So , I'm already mentally mapping out the entire 1642 01:08:28,725 --> 01:08:33,445 journey so that I can stay calm during the actual journey. 1643 01:08:33,985 --> 01:08:36,445 Um, and I've already warned the 18-year-old, I'm like, 1644 01:08:36,445 --> 01:08:38,205 you know how we normally like go to Culver's 1645 01:08:38,205 --> 01:08:39,445 and we do a thing and we hang out. 1646 01:08:39,665 --> 01:08:40,925 We cannot do that on Wednesday 1647 01:08:40,925 --> 01:08:42,565 because I'll be back on Thursday. 1648 01:08:42,845 --> 01:08:44,165 . Mm-Hmm. . We could do it on 1649 01:08:44,485 --> 01:08:45,525 Thursday. Yeah. So 1650 01:08:45,825 --> 01:08:47,125 - But your haven Yes, it is. 1651 01:08:47,125 --> 01:08:48,165 That is old age that, 1652 01:08:48,275 --> 01:08:50,645 that has come round full circle from 1653 01:08:50,645 --> 01:08:51,725 when I was in my twenties. 1654 01:08:51,875 --> 01:08:53,965 Yeah. And I used to go out to the bars 1655 01:08:54,385 --> 01:08:59,165 and party all night long, go home, change clothes 1656 01:08:59,705 --> 01:09:01,285 and go to work and go to work. Mm-Hmm. 1657 01:09:01,325 --> 01:09:03,205 - , I never lived that life. . 1658 01:09:03,285 --> 01:09:05,565 I was living like an old lady life in my twenties, 1659 01:09:05,705 --> 01:09:10,365 but I did have more energy in 1660 01:09:10,445 --> 01:09:11,605 my twenties and Yeah. 1661 01:09:11,605 --> 01:09:13,605 And was, I've never been a free spirit, 1662 01:09:13,665 --> 01:09:17,085 but I was more willing to do some things that I could kind 1663 01:09:17,085 --> 01:09:18,965 of pretend might have been spontaneous even though 1664 01:09:19,025 --> 01:09:20,085 I'd been thinking about 'em for a week. 1665 01:09:20,425 --> 01:09:22,925 And I would, I would, where do you wanna go? It's midnight. 1666 01:09:22,925 --> 01:09:24,805 Let's drive. I can go, oh, we're doing a road trip 1667 01:09:24,825 --> 01:09:26,285 and we're gonna be on the road for 12 hours. 1668 01:09:26,455 --> 01:09:28,085 Let's go, can do this. 1669 01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:31,725 Oh, I had to be at work at five o'clock this morning 1670 01:09:32,025 --> 01:09:36,285 and we're gonna go for queso and margaritas after work 1671 01:09:36,285 --> 01:09:37,645 and not gonna get done till midnight. 1672 01:09:37,755 --> 01:09:41,685 Cool. They're gonna do the damn thing that 1673 01:09:41,715 --> 01:09:43,845 that girl does not exist anymore. 1674 01:09:43,905 --> 01:09:46,485 - She is tired back, back in the same days. 1675 01:09:46,925 --> 01:09:50,325 I would, um, drive from 1676 01:09:50,835 --> 01:09:52,485 when I lived in Tampa Bay at that time 1677 01:09:53,225 --> 01:09:57,165 to upstate New York 22 hours from start to finish. 1678 01:09:57,275 --> 01:10:00,725 Yeah. No, I, I couldn't even No. 1679 01:10:00,895 --> 01:10:02,245 Think about doing that anymore. 1680 01:10:02,355 --> 01:10:06,285 - Road trips these days are max drive for eight hours. 1681 01:10:06,425 --> 01:10:08,725 We will have taken an hour break every time we stop. 1682 01:10:08,755 --> 01:10:12,365 Plus the pee and the standup breaks in between and Yeah. 1683 01:10:12,365 --> 01:10:13,365 Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 1684 01:10:13,385 --> 01:10:14,965 No, I totally get it. Not put there 1685 01:10:14,965 --> 01:10:15,965 - Anymore. 1686 01:10:15,965 --> 01:10:16,445 But, uh, it, it was hilarious. 1687 01:10:16,825 --> 01:10:19,365 I'd, you know, when I'd leave like three o'clock in the 1688 01:10:19,365 --> 01:10:21,685 morning and, 1689 01:10:21,825 --> 01:10:24,365 and that would, I, I did that 1690 01:10:24,365 --> 01:10:28,765 because that would put me in the sweet time to, uh, 1691 01:10:29,305 --> 01:10:31,405 get through Washington. 1692 01:10:31,745 --> 01:10:34,485 Mm-Hmm. without hitting rush hour. 1693 01:10:34,585 --> 01:10:39,165 Mm-Hmm. . But, um, I'd, I'd get a, 1694 01:10:39,565 --> 01:10:41,365 a thermos of coffee Mm-Hmm. 1695 01:10:41,405 --> 01:10:42,925 to start out with 1696 01:10:43,625 --> 01:10:46,245 and a bag full of snacks that I could just munch 1697 01:10:46,245 --> 01:10:48,805 as I'm driving and off I would go. 1698 01:10:49,285 --> 01:10:51,965 - I, there have been times, I did not have the luxury 1699 01:10:51,985 --> 01:10:56,165 of this, but my road trips we're gonna, when I was 20 1700 01:10:56,745 --> 01:10:59,845 and now I'm 40 something, we gonna stop for a drinky drink. 1701 01:11:00,365 --> 01:11:03,765 , I'll bring snacks for when we're in a place 1702 01:11:03,765 --> 01:11:05,045 where we literally cannot stop, 1703 01:11:05,045 --> 01:11:06,565 but I'm going to buy a snacky snack. 1704 01:11:06,625 --> 01:11:09,965 We are stopping for at least one meal on the road. 1705 01:11:11,285 --> 01:11:13,325 I minimum one meal. 1706 01:11:13,985 --> 01:11:18,965 Um, , I don't, I don't need a lot of bathroom breaks. 1707 01:11:19,225 --> 01:11:21,845 Mm-Hmm. , uh, I don't need currently a lot 1708 01:11:21,845 --> 01:11:23,605 of breaks to just stand and stretch my legs. 1709 01:11:23,905 --> 01:11:25,605 I'm happy to be in the car for 12 hours, 1710 01:11:25,635 --> 01:11:27,005 like the length of driving that day. 1711 01:11:27,005 --> 01:11:30,765 Right. But we will stop for drinking drinks. Mm-Hmm. 1712 01:11:30,805 --> 01:11:31,965 , we will stop for snacks. 1713 01:11:31,985 --> 01:11:33,325 We will stop for a meal. Yep. 1714 01:11:33,725 --> 01:11:36,165 I had lived the life as a kid of getting in the car 1715 01:11:36,165 --> 01:11:38,085 for the road trip with, especially my grandparents. 1716 01:11:38,205 --> 01:11:40,045 I used to go on all kinds of trips with them, road trips 1717 01:11:40,045 --> 01:11:41,245 with them as a kid. 1718 01:11:41,625 --> 01:11:44,965 And we were the family that pulled under the overpass 1719 01:11:45,345 --> 01:11:47,005 and, uh, ate our bologna 1720 01:11:47,005 --> 01:11:49,005 and cheese sandwiches on the side of the highway 1721 01:11:49,875 --> 01:11:51,325 because there was no stopping. 1722 01:11:51,325 --> 01:11:53,165 There was no getting snacky snacks. Yeah. 1723 01:11:53,165 --> 01:11:54,445 Nobody was going to lunch. Right. 1724 01:11:54,845 --> 01:11:57,845 uh, and I mean, 1725 01:11:59,005 --> 01:12:00,405 I didn't love it then. 1726 01:12:00,785 --> 01:12:03,245 Mm-Hmm. . Um, I've always been a drinky drink. 1727 01:12:03,265 --> 01:12:04,485 Snacky snack kind of girl. 1728 01:12:05,065 --> 01:12:07,845 Um, but I, there was something about it as I got older 1729 01:12:07,845 --> 01:12:11,725 that I was like, if I, if I can't, if I can't just, 1730 01:12:11,875 --> 01:12:13,325 even if it's just McDonald's 1731 01:12:13,325 --> 01:12:14,805 and it's the dollar menu, y'all, 1732 01:12:15,105 --> 01:12:17,525 if I can't go get something, 1733 01:12:17,565 --> 01:12:18,685 I don't want to go on the road trip. 1734 01:12:19,225 --> 01:12:23,765 I'm, I'm no longer built for. Yeah. No. It's a luxury. 1735 01:12:23,825 --> 01:12:27,165 To me. It's a luxury. Now would I do a road trip if I didn't 1736 01:12:27,365 --> 01:12:28,805 have the money and I had to bring my own snacks? 1737 01:12:28,845 --> 01:12:32,005 I had to bring my own drinks 'cause I had to get to a place 1738 01:12:32,385 --> 01:12:33,765 and couldn't catch a flight. 1739 01:12:33,865 --> 01:12:35,405 Yes. Mm-Hmm. that's different. Yeah. 1740 01:12:35,405 --> 01:12:38,405 But if I we're calling this a vacation, a trip, I'm choosing 1741 01:12:38,425 --> 01:12:40,565 to do this, then we are budgeting in Yeah. 1742 01:12:40,825 --> 01:12:43,085 My dunking and my diet Coke. Mm-Hmm. 1743 01:12:43,985 --> 01:12:45,845 - And I, I don't know if it's the same now 1744 01:12:45,845 --> 01:12:48,605 because I haven't looked and I've not really had any reason 1745 01:12:48,665 --> 01:12:50,005 to or desire. 1746 01:12:50,265 --> 01:12:53,365 But um, you know, then there, there came a point where 1747 01:12:54,145 --> 01:12:57,725 air flight up to New York was way cheaper than Oh sure. 1748 01:12:57,825 --> 01:13:00,045 The gas and, and wear and tear and driving Jet 1749 01:13:00,045 --> 01:13:01,125 - Blue spirit. Yeah. Those place, 1750 01:13:01,245 --> 01:13:03,885 - I mean, so, you know, and you know, two 1751 01:13:03,905 --> 01:13:06,085 and a half hours as compo compared 1752 01:13:06,145 --> 01:13:08,845 to 22, 23 hours driving. Right. Yeah. 1753 01:13:09,285 --> 01:13:12,165 - I never, when I finally started flying for any reason, 1754 01:13:13,045 --> 01:13:15,925 I never got to go to a place that was a straight shot. 1755 01:13:16,685 --> 01:13:18,205 'cause I never lived really in a place 1756 01:13:18,205 --> 01:13:19,485 where you could get a straight shot. 1757 01:13:20,145 --> 01:13:24,885 So it wasn't technically, uh, 1758 01:13:26,345 --> 01:13:30,085 you know, a couple hours flying time total to get 1759 01:13:30,625 --> 01:13:31,885 to the place I wanted to go. 1760 01:13:31,885 --> 01:13:33,125 Sure. Mm-Hmm. . But what we had 1761 01:13:33,125 --> 01:13:36,525 to do first was leave from wherever, uh, 1762 01:13:36,525 --> 01:13:40,205 completely bypass the location, go to a further out airport, 1763 01:13:40,935 --> 01:13:43,285 maybe Atlanta, maybe Charlotte, 1764 01:13:43,665 --> 01:13:45,245 and then come back down to 1765 01:13:45,245 --> 01:13:46,805 where we were trying to go . 1766 01:13:47,195 --> 01:13:49,885 Including I think if I recall even in Florida 1767 01:13:50,705 --> 01:13:51,765 to make the connecting flight. 1768 01:13:52,105 --> 01:13:53,845 So what could have been an eight hour drive 1769 01:13:54,345 --> 01:13:55,685 and was technically maybe two hours 1770 01:13:55,685 --> 01:13:57,685 of flight time was still an eight hour 1771 01:13:57,705 --> 01:13:58,725 day because of light over 1772 01:13:59,085 --> 01:13:59,605 - . So 1773 01:14:00,245 --> 01:14:01,245 - I dunno. 1774 01:14:01,305 --> 01:14:02,305 But if it was cheaper. 1775 01:14:03,475 --> 01:14:06,005 - Yeah. - The thing is, we don't really, 1776 01:14:06,065 --> 01:14:07,725 we don't travel anymore. 1777 01:14:07,925 --> 01:14:08,965 I mean, there's the money thing and 1778 01:14:08,965 --> 01:14:10,085 there's the where do we want to go? 1779 01:14:10,545 --> 01:14:11,845 And once Covid hit 1780 01:14:11,845 --> 01:14:14,445 and there, there wasn't really going anywhere. 1781 01:14:14,505 --> 01:14:18,685 We just, we have places we definitely want to go. Yeah. 1782 01:14:19,185 --> 01:14:24,005 And um, you know, we've talked about it, we've thought it 1783 01:14:24,005 --> 01:14:25,245 through, we've even priced it out. 1784 01:14:26,515 --> 01:14:28,765 It's just, just not an option. Mm-Hmm. 1785 01:14:28,805 --> 01:14:31,525 right now. So we, no, we don't Mm-Hmm. 1786 01:14:31,565 --> 01:14:33,205 . But, 1787 01:14:34,465 --> 01:14:36,965 but I do still remember I'd be like, okay, it's a, 1788 01:14:38,125 --> 01:14:40,245 a Friday afternoon, maybe I got off work early. 1789 01:14:40,245 --> 01:14:41,285 Maybe I took the day off. 1790 01:14:41,735 --> 01:14:43,045 Where, where are we going this weekend? 1791 01:14:43,055 --> 01:14:44,765 Let's just get in the car. And I would just drive, 1792 01:14:45,085 --> 01:14:46,765 I don't know who that girl is anymore. 1793 01:14:48,165 --> 01:14:49,965 I mean, but I still Yeah. 1794 01:14:49,965 --> 01:14:50,965 That was when you could still get your 1795 01:14:50,965 --> 01:14:52,085 Diet Coke for a dollar though. 1796 01:14:52,525 --> 01:14:56,965 . And there was a dollar menu at McDonald's. Yeah. 1797 01:14:57,145 --> 01:14:59,645 Or wherever. So I you could do it for, 1798 01:14:59,785 --> 01:15:01,765 and gas was under $2 a gallon or whatever. 1799 01:15:01,765 --> 01:15:03,365 Like, it was just easier. Yeah. 1800 01:15:03,865 --> 01:15:08,445 But, so anyway, 1801 01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,485 um, what else is going on with us? 1802 01:15:11,845 --> 01:15:12,845 Anything? Um, 1803 01:15:15,505 --> 01:15:16,505 - Not that I can think. 1804 01:15:16,875 --> 01:15:18,245 - Just same old, same old. Yeah. 1805 01:15:19,065 --> 01:15:21,205 The youngest is being the youngest. 1806 01:15:21,265 --> 01:15:23,525 The oldest is performing his brains out 1807 01:15:23,545 --> 01:15:25,485 and, and we're working. 1808 01:15:25,745 --> 01:15:28,885 So Ta Lola is snoring in the background Yep. 1809 01:15:29,065 --> 01:15:30,405 As if she has worked a double 1810 01:15:31,265 --> 01:15:32,565 and I don't know where the cats are, 1811 01:15:32,625 --> 01:15:34,365 but they're probably wreaking 1812 01:15:34,375 --> 01:15:35,925 havoc wherever they are. Right, 1813 01:15:35,925 --> 01:15:36,925 - Right. 1814 01:15:36,925 --> 01:15:37,525 They're too quiet. , 1815 01:15:37,525 --> 01:15:38,525 - They're too quiet. 1816 01:15:38,955 --> 01:15:42,805 They are too quiet. They are too quiet. 1817 01:15:43,345 --> 01:15:44,605 - Yes, indeed. - Um, 1818 01:15:44,985 --> 01:15:46,645 and it's starting to warm up in this office. 1819 01:15:46,905 --> 01:15:48,205 It is. And, uh, 1820 01:15:48,355 --> 01:15:51,005 this perimenopausal person is not starting to feel it. 1821 01:15:51,005 --> 01:15:53,685 Huh. Is not loving it. So I think 1822 01:15:55,185 --> 01:15:56,645 that's a good sign that maybe 1823 01:15:56,825 --> 01:15:59,245 - That's a good place to, to - We should be done. 1824 01:15:59,435 --> 01:16:02,365 Yeah. Okay. All right. Um, thanks for being here with us. 1825 01:16:02,365 --> 01:16:03,685 Mm-Hmm. especially if you stay 1826 01:16:03,685 --> 01:16:06,085 to the bitter end, um, for anybody 1827 01:16:06,085 --> 01:16:07,565 who asked your question, thank you for that. 1828 01:16:07,825 --> 01:16:10,765 Uh, we appreciate that. Um, we don't do Q 1829 01:16:10,765 --> 01:16:11,965 and as that often anymore 1830 01:16:11,965 --> 01:16:13,965 because we do a q and A every week now. 1831 01:16:13,965 --> 01:16:16,645 Right. So, um Mm-Hmm. . But this was fun. Yeah. 1832 01:16:16,705 --> 01:16:18,485 And yeah. May maybe we'll be on break next week. 1833 01:16:18,725 --> 01:16:20,885 I don't fucking know. I'll let you know as soon as I know. 1834 01:16:20,955 --> 01:16:23,925 Yeah. So. Okay. All right. That's it for us. 1835 01:16:24,425 --> 01:16:25,125 - Bye. Bye.