1 00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:12,765 - You are listening to the Living BDSM podcast, 2 00:00:12,875 --> 00:00:14,805 episode three 80, kill The Lords. 3 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:16,045 Who are the one, the only, the guy 4 00:00:16,045 --> 00:00:19,765 who is consistently surprised and shocked by my snark 5 00:00:19,765 --> 00:00:21,565 and sass as if he's just met me. 6 00:00:21,715 --> 00:00:23,045 John Brownstone. . 7 00:00:24,405 --> 00:00:25,485 I mean, you're not new here, 8 00:00:25,885 --> 00:00:29,765 . You know how I am. 9 00:00:29,995 --> 00:00:32,445 - Some days it's just more intense, 10 00:00:32,445 --> 00:00:34,125 noticeable than others. Yeah, yeah, 11 00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:35,125 - Yeah. 12 00:00:35,125 --> 00:00:37,285 It's like I bottle it up and then it's like a, a Coke bottle 13 00:00:37,285 --> 00:00:38,365 that you shake and just 14 00:00:38,635 --> 00:00:39,635 - Yeah. 15 00:00:39,635 --> 00:00:40,485 Put Mentos in there and, oh, 16 00:00:40,585 --> 00:00:41,585 - Oh Lord. 17 00:00:41,585 --> 00:00:43,165 Mentos would be if you egg me on 18 00:00:43,265 --> 00:00:46,605 or piss me off one of the two, uh, . 19 00:00:46,945 --> 00:00:47,965 That's, that's what the, 20 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,685 putting the Mentos in the, the Coke. 21 00:00:49,945 --> 00:00:51,685 If you don't know that, just go Google that. 22 00:00:51,705 --> 00:00:52,925 You look it up on YouTube, whatever. 23 00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:54,765 Uh, if you do know, you know, 24 00:00:55,105 --> 00:00:56,285 if you know, you know, . 25 00:00:56,305 --> 00:00:59,325 Um, anyway, that's not at all what we're here No. 26 00:00:59,505 --> 00:01:02,845 To talk about this week, this week. 27 00:01:03,225 --> 00:01:06,205 Uh, we are talking about specific parts of 28 00:01:06,205 --> 00:01:08,565 what we would consider under the umbrella 29 00:01:08,865 --> 00:01:10,565 of consensual non-consent. 30 00:01:10,565 --> 00:01:14,125 And that is free use and blanket consent. 31 00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,445 Uh, two terms that are kind of new to us, 32 00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:19,605 even though the concepts I don't think completely are 33 00:01:20,035 --> 00:01:21,605 welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. 34 00:01:21,745 --> 00:01:23,525 If this is your first time listening, glad to have you. 35 00:01:23,525 --> 00:01:25,005 If you're back for another week, welcome back. 36 00:01:25,105 --> 00:01:26,845 Loving BDSM is produced every Monday 37 00:01:26,845 --> 00:01:28,565 and Friday for your kinky pleasure and education. 38 00:01:28,565 --> 00:01:30,605 And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net. 39 00:01:30,995 --> 00:01:32,645 Come back often and feel free to add the podcast 40 00:01:32,705 --> 00:01:34,125 to your favorite podcast app. 41 00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:37,685 You can also follow the show on FetLife at Loving BDSM PC 42 00:01:37,795 --> 00:01:40,125 that stands for podcast Y'all on Instagram 43 00:01:40,145 --> 00:01:41,485 and threads at that handle. 44 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:45,765 I will forever fucking Hate Loving DSS and the number one. 45 00:01:45,765 --> 00:01:47,445 So that's at Loving DSS one, 46 00:01:47,665 --> 00:01:50,645 or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving bdsm, 47 00:01:50,645 --> 00:01:51,965 where you can watch us live, stream the 48 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,125 podcast every Wednesday. 49 00:01:53,505 --> 00:01:54,645 All links are in the show notes. 50 00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:56,725 I was gonna keep going with that, 51 00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,205 but then you were hitting a magic button 52 00:01:58,265 --> 00:02:00,005 and I was like, okay, I'm, I need to stop now. 53 00:02:00,365 --> 00:02:02,565 . Okay. Podcast listeners. 54 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:05,085 Did I make an innuendo for the clit? Yes, I did. . 55 00:02:05,465 --> 00:02:06,765 And you didn't get to hear the first part, 56 00:02:06,765 --> 00:02:07,845 but that's what we're talking about. 57 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:10,805 Okay, so 58 00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:14,885 before we get into today's topic, I have an announcement 59 00:02:16,465 --> 00:02:17,725 for the, did I do this late? 60 00:02:17,785 --> 00:02:19,205 Yes. Whatever. It's done now 61 00:02:19,385 --> 00:02:21,165 for the rest of the month of January. 62 00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:25,125 All of our digital products on our Etsy shop, 63 00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:26,965 that's our 30 days of DSS workbooks, 64 00:02:27,025 --> 00:02:30,685 our long distance relationship workbook, our planner sheets, 65 00:02:30,705 --> 00:02:32,685 our habit trackers, all that good stuff. 66 00:02:32,995 --> 00:02:36,285 They're all 25% off this month. Why? 67 00:02:36,395 --> 00:02:40,085 Because a lot of people will start a new year 68 00:02:40,085 --> 00:02:42,005 and go, okay, it's time to work on some goals, 69 00:02:42,005 --> 00:02:43,285 work on some new habits. 70 00:02:43,545 --> 00:02:45,765 I'm gonna, you know, get some things right 71 00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:46,845 in my power exchange. 72 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,045 And, uh, some of our products might actually 73 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:50,205 be able to help you. 74 00:02:50,585 --> 00:02:53,005 Our 30 days of DSS workbooks, there's the first one, 75 00:02:53,005 --> 00:02:55,645 and then there's volume two are prompts 76 00:02:55,645 --> 00:02:57,925 that can either be journal prompts if you're doing it solo 77 00:02:58,025 --> 00:03:01,005 or conversation starters if you're in a relationship to kind 78 00:03:01,005 --> 00:03:04,085 of work through and think through what DSS means to you 79 00:03:04,145 --> 00:03:05,365 and how you wanna navigate it. 80 00:03:05,825 --> 00:03:07,125 The first one is for basics. 81 00:03:07,125 --> 00:03:08,645 Like if you're brand new and you're still trying 82 00:03:08,645 --> 00:03:11,045 to figure shit out, start with just 30 days of dss. 83 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,365 If you're already in a relationship 84 00:03:12,365 --> 00:03:15,005 and you're starting to bump up against like the real life 85 00:03:15,005 --> 00:03:16,365 shit that's never part of the fantasy 86 00:03:16,365 --> 00:03:18,725 that's had in your head, then you want volume two. 87 00:03:19,385 --> 00:03:21,005 And then if you're in a long distance relationship, 88 00:03:21,015 --> 00:03:22,365 check out our LDR book. 89 00:03:22,665 --> 00:03:24,165 Uh, and then our planner sheets. 90 00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:28,285 There's, um, planner, they can be used, you can print them, 91 00:03:28,285 --> 00:03:30,045 it's a PDF or you can put it in a digital 92 00:03:30,045 --> 00:03:31,325 planner if you do that kind of thing. 93 00:03:31,825 --> 00:03:34,965 Um, there's sheets for submissives 94 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,765 to write down their tasks, their sheets for submissives. 95 00:03:37,875 --> 00:03:39,325 Technically DOMS can too, 96 00:03:39,345 --> 00:03:41,045 to track habits that trying to change. 97 00:03:41,045 --> 00:03:43,205 Mm-Hmm. , uh, we created a dominant 98 00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:46,285 accountability tracker, meaning submissive is trying 99 00:03:46,285 --> 00:03:48,485 to do things, but the dominant wants to try 100 00:03:48,485 --> 00:03:50,845 and track is it being done on their end? 101 00:03:51,385 --> 00:03:55,085 We have those there and they're all 25 person. Oh. 102 00:03:55,145 --> 00:03:56,325 So feel free to check 103 00:03:56,325 --> 00:03:58,965 that out on our Etsy shop link in the places. 104 00:03:59,345 --> 00:04:00,925 And there's no coupon required. 105 00:04:01,035 --> 00:04:04,685 It's just an automatic, you just , you just get it. 106 00:04:05,225 --> 00:04:06,045 That's what you do. 107 00:04:07,425 --> 00:04:10,245 So, okay. 108 00:04:11,665 --> 00:04:13,685 Um, this topic. 109 00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:17,885 So in 2023, as an offhand comment, 110 00:04:19,245 --> 00:04:20,965 I mentioned, and I don't even remember what episode, 111 00:04:20,965 --> 00:04:23,685 that maybe we should do an episode on the 112 00:04:23,685 --> 00:04:24,725 concept of free use. 113 00:04:25,005 --> 00:04:26,605 'cause that expression was being used. Mm-Hmm. 114 00:04:26,645 --> 00:04:28,205 a lot more frequently. Um, 115 00:04:28,205 --> 00:04:30,805 but I was like, yeah, we've kind of talked about it already. 116 00:04:31,125 --> 00:04:34,965 'cause we've talked about the a another way of saying 117 00:04:34,965 --> 00:04:38,005 for use for many people is sexual availability, 118 00:04:38,005 --> 00:04:39,925 which is a part of our power exchange. 119 00:04:39,925 --> 00:04:42,045 And we had talked about that. I even thought 120 00:04:42,045 --> 00:04:44,405 that we had talked about, uh, consensual non-consent 121 00:04:44,405 --> 00:04:47,445 and then cannot find an episode where we talked about that. 122 00:04:47,985 --> 00:04:51,445 So maybe we'll do a broader overview at some point. 123 00:04:51,815 --> 00:04:54,285 Maybe we did and I just didn't type in the right 124 00:04:54,285 --> 00:04:55,325 words to find it. 125 00:04:55,605 --> 00:04:58,965 , I dunno, I that . 126 00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,085 So, um, is that 127 00:05:01,085 --> 00:05:03,005 - Like the lost episode or something? You know, 128 00:05:03,055 --> 00:05:05,565 - Maybe So , because I have a clear memory 129 00:05:05,945 --> 00:05:08,805 of having conversations where we, you know, we're like, 130 00:05:08,805 --> 00:05:10,565 well, consensual non-consent can be this 131 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:11,885 or might be that, blah, blah. 132 00:05:13,255 --> 00:05:17,035 And I thought this episode would be, um, addition to that. 133 00:05:17,095 --> 00:05:19,435 And then when I went back to like, to the archive, 134 00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:21,755 couldn't find what I thought was there. 135 00:05:22,335 --> 00:05:24,595 So that , this might be the first 136 00:05:25,275 --> 00:05:28,075 official conversation we've had on consensual non-consent. 137 00:05:28,115 --> 00:05:30,995 I don't actually know. Um, and I say that 138 00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:34,155 because some people consider consensual non-consent 139 00:05:34,365 --> 00:05:36,235 completely separate from free use 140 00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:37,955 and blanket consent, which are the topics are going, 141 00:05:38,295 --> 00:05:40,155 the words we're gonna focus on today. 142 00:05:40,655 --> 00:05:44,155 To me, when I think of how all of these things work, I think 143 00:05:44,755 --> 00:05:47,715 consensual non-consent is a, is a blanket label 144 00:05:47,745 --> 00:05:49,555 that can mean many different things. 145 00:05:49,815 --> 00:05:52,435 And some of these things fall within that umbrella. 146 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:55,795 So there are some of the very specific role play scenes 147 00:05:55,865 --> 00:05:58,725 that people enact that are CNC. 148 00:05:58,865 --> 00:06:01,565 And then there are some things that people do that 149 00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:05,285 we'll get into with these definitions of free use 150 00:06:05,285 --> 00:06:08,765 and blanket consent that I personally, 151 00:06:09,105 --> 00:06:10,765 that's us definitely under the umbrella. 152 00:06:11,105 --> 00:06:12,405 And we will go from there 153 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:14,725 and figure out if anybody else agrees now, 154 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,325 because I'd heard the term for use and I was like, eh, 155 00:06:17,425 --> 00:06:19,765 but just 'cause I, I know a topic 156 00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:21,605 or think I know a phrase doesn't 157 00:06:21,605 --> 00:06:22,685 mean I actually know the phrase. 158 00:06:23,225 --> 00:06:24,565 So I, I started digging around 159 00:06:24,565 --> 00:06:26,965 and I remembered that Evie Lupin had a video 160 00:06:27,055 --> 00:06:28,565 where she had talked about some of these terms. 161 00:06:29,225 --> 00:06:30,805 So I used her for research to try 162 00:06:30,805 --> 00:06:33,285 and get my, my head wrapped around the definitions. 163 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:37,805 Okay, her video is linked in the places, please go watch it. 164 00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:39,725 'cause she absolutely adds her insight and her view. 165 00:06:39,745 --> 00:06:41,565 She talks about consensual 166 00:06:41,595 --> 00:06:43,405 non-consent, not just these terms. 167 00:06:44,095 --> 00:06:46,685 Definitely worth a watch. I I was watching it yesterday. 168 00:06:46,805 --> 00:06:48,405 I was like, yeah, everybody needs to watch us. 169 00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:51,005 Um, but we look at things through 170 00:06:51,605 --> 00:06:53,485 a very specific lens of power exchange. 171 00:06:53,505 --> 00:06:55,845 And that doesn't change the nature of these terms, 172 00:06:55,945 --> 00:06:58,565 but it can change the way we talk about them and view them. 173 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:02,725 And so, you know, thank you Evie, for informing me. 174 00:07:02,725 --> 00:07:05,165 But also this is a separate conversation, um, 175 00:07:06,505 --> 00:07:07,645 for anybody who's like, oh, well, 176 00:07:07,645 --> 00:07:08,685 you're just talking about what Evie talked about. 177 00:07:08,705 --> 00:07:11,565 No, we're having our own conversation. Okay. Okay. 178 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:15,045 So I was gonna talk only about free use at first, 179 00:07:15,065 --> 00:07:16,925 and then I came across the term blanket consent 180 00:07:16,925 --> 00:07:18,165 and I went, oh, we definitely have to talk about this. 181 00:07:18,365 --> 00:07:19,645 'cause I, this one, 182 00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:22,725 this one gave me the feels , 183 00:07:22,945 --> 00:07:25,725 and they were not necessarily positive feels . 184 00:07:26,825 --> 00:07:29,645 So before we get into these terms, uh, 185 00:07:29,705 --> 00:07:31,005 let me give the disclaimer. 186 00:07:31,085 --> 00:07:33,085 I try to always give, when we're talking about terms 187 00:07:33,265 --> 00:07:34,845 and definitions and meanings 188 00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:39,005 and opinions about these things, um, you can 189 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,325 for yourself define these differently 190 00:07:41,835 --> 00:07:43,365 than they are defined here. 191 00:07:43,365 --> 00:07:47,245 This is my understanding of these terms based on EV's video, 192 00:07:47,245 --> 00:07:48,645 based on other things I looked up. 193 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:51,165 You can get to have your own kind 194 00:07:51,165 --> 00:07:53,165 of like more nuanced definition if you want. 195 00:07:53,715 --> 00:07:56,325 Also, you get to have your own opinion about whether these 196 00:07:56,325 --> 00:07:59,085 things are good or bad, should be practiced. 197 00:07:59,515 --> 00:08:02,285 Like that's all personal and subjective. 198 00:08:02,475 --> 00:08:05,325 Just because we state maybe a definition 199 00:08:05,545 --> 00:08:06,685 or understanding of it, 200 00:08:06,825 --> 00:08:10,085 and we have a position maybe on what these things are 201 00:08:10,145 --> 00:08:11,245 and how they're used 202 00:08:11,305 --> 00:08:15,165 and whatever, whatever comes up does not mean that we say 203 00:08:15,165 --> 00:08:16,925 that you should have to agree with us. 204 00:08:17,065 --> 00:08:20,405 And so before you start typing the angry comment, 205 00:08:20,795 --> 00:08:21,965 just take a breath. 206 00:08:22,155 --> 00:08:24,085 Okay. It'll be okay. 207 00:08:25,145 --> 00:08:27,805 I'm not trying to tell anybody how to think. Okay. 208 00:08:29,985 --> 00:08:32,085 So that was a mouthful. Ooh. 209 00:08:32,085 --> 00:08:34,525 Because I know, I know how it gets . 210 00:08:35,965 --> 00:08:38,325 I know how it gets. Okay. 211 00:08:39,145 --> 00:08:42,565 So, uh, I might have been misleading in the title 212 00:08:42,665 --> 00:08:44,325 and start with free use, but I wanna start 213 00:08:44,325 --> 00:08:45,325 with blanket consent. 214 00:08:45,475 --> 00:08:48,725 Okay. One, because that was a new to me term 215 00:08:48,865 --> 00:08:52,205 and also gave me feels, gave me so many feels. 216 00:08:52,395 --> 00:08:53,485 Okay. Okay. 217 00:08:53,545 --> 00:08:57,445 So blanket consent based on my understanding, thank you, 218 00:08:57,555 --> 00:09:00,685 Evie, is that consent is, can be in any kind 219 00:09:00,685 --> 00:09:01,765 of BDSM relationship. 220 00:09:01,785 --> 00:09:03,125 But let's talk about power exchange. 221 00:09:03,595 --> 00:09:06,365 Consent is negotiated once at the very beginning 222 00:09:06,425 --> 00:09:09,805 of the relationship, and then it is assumed from 223 00:09:09,805 --> 00:09:10,885 then on out. 224 00:09:11,035 --> 00:09:13,925 It's like, I gave you consent to be my dom, 225 00:09:13,925 --> 00:09:15,405 here are my limits, here are my boundaries. 226 00:09:15,405 --> 00:09:16,925 However that conversation goes. Mm-Hmm. . 227 00:09:16,925 --> 00:09:19,325 And that can be very nuanced. Done. 228 00:09:19,545 --> 00:09:21,405 You don't have to check in for my consent. 229 00:09:21,405 --> 00:09:23,285 You don't have to get my consent. It is 230 00:09:23,285 --> 00:09:24,285 - What it is. 231 00:09:24,285 --> 00:09:26,165 - It is what it is. Now here's the thing 232 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,365 that made me go, okay. 233 00:09:28,385 --> 00:09:29,685 In a way you and I have 234 00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:33,965 that the only time you're checking in is if you're uncertain 235 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:36,405 if there's something going on or if it's brand new. 236 00:09:36,405 --> 00:09:38,885 Mm-Hmm. the way my understanding of 237 00:09:38,885 --> 00:09:41,565 how it was kind of explained was there's no checking in. 238 00:09:41,635 --> 00:09:43,565 It's just these are the things you said 239 00:09:44,315 --> 00:09:45,805 that you would do, could do whatever. 240 00:09:45,865 --> 00:09:47,085 And then I just go from there. 241 00:09:47,785 --> 00:09:52,645 Um, apparently in these situations, yes, 242 00:09:52,645 --> 00:09:54,765 there can be safe words, not universally so, 243 00:09:55,145 --> 00:09:57,885 but they tend to only be used in true emergencies. 244 00:09:57,915 --> 00:10:01,365 Like, I am physically injured while this thing is happening. 245 00:10:01,365 --> 00:10:03,685 Right. I'm having a mental breakdown right now. 246 00:10:03,755 --> 00:10:04,805 That kind of thing. Yes. Yeah. 247 00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:08,965 Um, and it's apparently for some people, not uncommon 248 00:10:08,985 --> 00:10:10,965 for submissives to have fewer limits. 249 00:10:11,145 --> 00:10:14,285 Not no limits. Nobody has no limits. Y'all come on. 250 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:16,525 But fewer limits. Right. 251 00:10:17,345 --> 00:10:19,205 The one thing, um, that was said, 252 00:10:19,205 --> 00:10:22,605 and I agree with wholeheartedly, that blanket consent, uh, 253 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,085 is an advanced level power exchange. 254 00:10:25,475 --> 00:10:27,485 - Yeah. And that, that doesn't sound like it. 255 00:10:27,485 --> 00:10:28,725 You don't start there. Right. 256 00:10:28,725 --> 00:10:30,765 That I was gonna say, that doesn't sound like something, 257 00:10:30,825 --> 00:10:34,085 you know, somebody with uh, little to no experience 258 00:10:34,795 --> 00:10:37,005 just comes trotting up and says, okay. 259 00:10:37,295 --> 00:10:39,565 - Right. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 260 00:10:39,565 --> 00:10:43,365 Because the thing is, is this kind of power exchange 261 00:10:44,545 --> 00:10:47,365 can, um, absolutely attract, and, 262 00:10:47,365 --> 00:10:49,485 and in king con general, it attracts predators. 263 00:10:49,485 --> 00:10:52,605 Mm-Hmm. , somebody's like, oh, I I'm your dom. 264 00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,645 You gave me permission to be your dom. 265 00:10:54,645 --> 00:10:56,925 That means I get to do what I want to do . 266 00:10:57,585 --> 00:11:01,685 And the thing is, is if you are in the type of relationship 267 00:11:01,685 --> 00:11:03,245 where you've been together long enough, 268 00:11:03,505 --> 00:11:06,485 you know each other well enough, you've done the work 269 00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:07,805 to be open Mm-Hmm. 270 00:11:07,845 --> 00:11:10,405 and vulnerable and build that intimacy, 271 00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,325 you can probably have that. 272 00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,645 - Yeah. I mean us 273 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,885 after the amount of time that we've been together. 274 00:11:16,975 --> 00:11:20,005 Right. Um, you know, there was a time I would think, 275 00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:22,325 oh my gosh, how could anybody play without a safe word? 276 00:11:22,375 --> 00:11:25,085 Right. But we have been together enough 277 00:11:25,105 --> 00:11:28,525 and done enough things together that I have gotten 278 00:11:28,545 --> 00:11:32,205 to a point where I can read your body language now. 279 00:11:32,205 --> 00:11:35,085 Mm-Hmm. , um, you know, I, I can read your, 280 00:11:36,865 --> 00:11:38,765 - And also, you know that if it gets bad enough, I'm, 281 00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:41,085 I'm gonna yell red anyway. 282 00:11:41,085 --> 00:11:43,245 Yeah. It doesn't matter if I feel like something has gone 283 00:11:43,665 --> 00:11:45,485 off the rails, you know, I'm gonna say it. 284 00:11:45,485 --> 00:11:47,405 Right. We don't have to do a reminder 285 00:11:47,425 --> 00:11:48,445 before we start anything. 286 00:11:48,545 --> 00:11:50,645 Hey, do you know you're safe work? We're past that. Yeah. 287 00:11:51,105 --> 00:11:54,525 So, you know, long established relationships 288 00:11:54,525 --> 00:11:57,125 where the trust has been earned and built 289 00:11:57,185 --> 00:11:59,165 and is con, you know, everything's consistent. 290 00:12:00,465 --> 00:12:01,845 You know, I think some people, and we, 291 00:12:02,085 --> 00:12:04,645 I was thinking maybe we have some of this as well 292 00:12:05,395 --> 00:12:06,845 without really even talking about it. 293 00:12:06,905 --> 00:12:08,285 Not completely, not across our 294 00:12:08,285 --> 00:12:09,325 whole relationship, but some of this. 295 00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:14,245 But no, if jojo sausage head rolls up to your dms 296 00:12:15,425 --> 00:12:19,285 and starts, they may not even use the term blanket consent. 297 00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,245 They may do the, I wanna be your dom 298 00:12:21,245 --> 00:12:22,525 and you're gonna do whatever I tell you. 299 00:12:23,025 --> 00:12:26,965 And, you know, your personal wants and desires don't matter. 300 00:12:27,075 --> 00:12:31,845 Well, that person is an asshole, you know, abuser. 301 00:12:31,905 --> 00:12:33,645 And let's block and delete and move on. 302 00:12:34,065 --> 00:12:38,285 Um, the, um, the thing that, 303 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,765 and it's something that Evie said, and, 304 00:12:39,765 --> 00:12:42,125 and I'm glad she said it, and I wanna reiterate it here, 305 00:12:42,125 --> 00:12:45,725 because it's a thing to remember the idea of just 306 00:12:46,655 --> 00:12:49,725 never having to like get your, your dom 307 00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,005 to check in and ask permission. 308 00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:53,525 They just do understanding your limits, 309 00:12:53,525 --> 00:12:55,725 understanding boundaries, but they just do whatever 310 00:12:55,785 --> 00:12:57,965 and they, they're not asking you what you think. 311 00:12:57,965 --> 00:12:59,805 Right? Mm-Hmm. for some people 312 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:03,045 that's gonna be better in fantasy than in real life. 313 00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:05,165 And that is okay. 314 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,925 That's, that's the nature of a lot of kinks. 315 00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:09,925 They're way better in your head than they ever are 316 00:13:09,975 --> 00:13:11,165 being played out in real life. 317 00:13:11,465 --> 00:13:13,125 But it's also okay to admit that, 318 00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:15,085 to maybe try it and then go, huh? 319 00:13:15,865 --> 00:13:17,565 No. Or to modify it. 320 00:13:17,805 --> 00:13:19,325 I saw in the livestream comments, 321 00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:21,285 rah rah was talking about you can have blanket consent over 322 00:13:21,285 --> 00:13:23,085 like one specific thing right. 323 00:13:24,985 --> 00:13:26,365 In, you know, between people. 324 00:13:26,705 --> 00:13:29,645 And I think that's perfectly valid of course as well. 325 00:13:30,145 --> 00:13:34,085 So you might go, oh, this, this kind of like, I'm here 326 00:13:34,145 --> 00:13:35,925 for blanket consent then Mm-Hmm. 327 00:13:35,965 --> 00:13:38,125 , you know, no thoughts, just vibes for me 328 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,245 as the little s . 329 00:13:39,505 --> 00:13:40,525 Um, and then try it 330 00:13:40,545 --> 00:13:44,325 and go, oh no, that's like, I for a second was like, yeah, 331 00:13:44,505 --> 00:13:45,725 that's, that's kind of hot. 332 00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:47,245 That's, that's kind of sexy. Mm-Hmm. 333 00:13:47,425 --> 00:13:51,005 And then I was like, no, I have too many opinions, , 334 00:13:51,285 --> 00:13:52,525 I have too many questions. 335 00:13:53,645 --> 00:13:55,645 I don't think that's gonna work for me. 336 00:13:57,425 --> 00:13:59,485 So as we're going through our definitions 337 00:13:59,485 --> 00:14:01,445 and understandings here, there's another part 338 00:14:01,445 --> 00:14:02,925 that I want JB here for. 339 00:14:03,165 --> 00:14:04,365 'cause he reads the outlines, 340 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,885 but I like him to hear the thing I'm saying. 341 00:14:05,885 --> 00:14:08,245 You finally just went and got your jacket, didn't you? Yeah. 342 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,765 So the next, a layer 343 00:14:12,915 --> 00:14:16,685 from blanket consent, and I had never heard this okay. 344 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:18,765 Until Evie said it. And this is where I got all the feels. 345 00:14:18,915 --> 00:14:21,685 Okay. Irrevocable consent. 346 00:14:22,665 --> 00:14:25,165 So it's like, you might start with blanket consent. Mm-Hmm. 347 00:14:25,205 --> 00:14:27,925 , where you've already, you said 348 00:14:27,925 --> 00:14:29,365 what your things are in the beginning. 349 00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:32,125 And now Dom has free reign to do whatever they need to do. 350 00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:35,245 Consent is, you know, basically assumed from 351 00:14:35,245 --> 00:14:39,765 that initial whatever, irrevocable consent is sort 352 00:14:39,765 --> 00:14:41,285 of a next level up. 353 00:14:42,385 --> 00:14:44,165 And the way it was explained, 354 00:14:45,245 --> 00:14:46,765 I stopped breathing for a second. 355 00:14:47,115 --> 00:14:50,365 Okay. Consent can never be withdrawn. 356 00:14:51,315 --> 00:14:54,365 It's irrevocable. It you, you once, you gave 357 00:14:54,365 --> 00:14:55,365 - It once given. 358 00:14:55,945 --> 00:14:59,125 - Now not can, let's just say, first of all, 359 00:14:59,225 --> 00:15:03,085 let me just say I do, no, not, not gonna ever recommend that 360 00:15:03,725 --> 00:15:05,165 not a fan. 361 00:15:05,265 --> 00:15:10,005 Do I think that there's some 10th of a 10th of a 10th 362 00:15:10,005 --> 00:15:11,285 of a percentage of kink 363 00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:13,325 or couples who could maybe make that work? 364 00:15:14,315 --> 00:15:16,925 Sure. I'm gonna say those people are the exception 365 00:15:16,925 --> 00:15:17,925 and not the fucking rule. 366 00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:19,725 Something about the idea 367 00:15:19,725 --> 00:15:22,805 of irrevocable consent makes my asshole tighten 368 00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:24,125 in the worst possible way. 369 00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:26,405 Like I'm clenching real fucking hard 370 00:15:27,075 --> 00:15:31,085 because this idea that consent can never be withdrawn, 371 00:15:31,275 --> 00:15:33,325 that I could never be in a moment with you 372 00:15:33,355 --> 00:15:36,165 that was okay until it was not. 373 00:15:36,505 --> 00:15:38,205 And I couldn't make it stop. 374 00:15:40,385 --> 00:15:44,115 Like, the idea is that if, if consent needs to be withdrawn, 375 00:15:44,265 --> 00:15:45,955 basically you've ended the relationship. 376 00:15:47,315 --> 00:15:49,915 - And, and you know what? I find it slightly 377 00:15:50,595 --> 00:15:51,795 shocking and yet not. 378 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,475 Because if you think about it, there are people 379 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,075 who treat collars the same way. 380 00:15:56,225 --> 00:15:57,915 That is true. Okay. Is true. 381 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:01,675 You know, a a collar has as much, if not more 382 00:16:02,305 --> 00:16:04,475 meaning than, than a wedding band. 383 00:16:04,655 --> 00:16:06,195 Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Alright. 384 00:16:06,895 --> 00:16:09,795 And, and once that collar is is put on, 385 00:16:11,615 --> 00:16:14,075 you know, it's, it's on. Right. You 386 00:16:14,075 --> 00:16:15,075 - Take - It off, you're 387 00:16:15,515 --> 00:16:16,515 - Severing something in the relationship. 388 00:16:16,515 --> 00:16:19,715 - Exactly. - And here's the thing, as a symbol for what 389 00:16:19,715 --> 00:16:21,315 that relationship means to you, I'm on board with that. 390 00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:24,395 It's not that for us, but I'm on board for with that. Yeah. 391 00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:29,515 But that is the symbol of your relationship consent 392 00:16:29,695 --> 00:16:32,315 and the ability to keep yourself mentally, 393 00:16:32,315 --> 00:16:34,275 emotionally, physically safe. Mm-Hmm. 394 00:16:34,315 --> 00:16:35,715 - , - Fuck you 395 00:16:35,715 --> 00:16:39,195 and the horse you rode in on there, in my mind, 396 00:16:39,245 --> 00:16:42,915 there always has to be room for consent to be withdrawn, 397 00:16:43,385 --> 00:16:46,315 even if it's you walked into something eyes wide open 398 00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:48,035 and went, this may be wild 399 00:16:48,035 --> 00:16:50,155 and this may be hairy scary, but I want it. 400 00:16:50,415 --> 00:16:52,195 I'm down for it. I love it. 401 00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:53,755 I'm scared to death and I love it. 402 00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:56,795 But oh, right now, uh, I'm, I'm about 403 00:16:56,795 --> 00:16:58,355 to be injured right now. 404 00:16:58,675 --> 00:17:01,515 A trigger I didn't know existed is fucking with my head. 405 00:17:01,515 --> 00:17:03,235 And I'm gonna be in therapy for 10 years 406 00:17:03,305 --> 00:17:05,155 because I had to go through with it. 407 00:17:06,835 --> 00:17:10,115 Somebody that I thought I could trust, I now can't trust. 408 00:17:10,535 --> 00:17:12,915 - Mm-Hmm. . - You know, you know. Yeah. 409 00:17:12,915 --> 00:17:17,515 See what there's, I think for most people who can get to 410 00:17:17,515 --> 00:17:21,715 that level of maybe even contemplating something like 411 00:17:21,715 --> 00:17:23,435 irrevocable consent, 412 00:17:26,725 --> 00:17:28,835 especially if they start from like the blanket consent 413 00:17:28,835 --> 00:17:30,555 thing, they've probably built the relationship 414 00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:32,515 where there is total trust. 415 00:17:32,515 --> 00:17:33,395 Mm-Hmm. where there's total 416 00:17:33,395 --> 00:17:34,635 faith in one another. Yeah. 417 00:17:34,935 --> 00:17:36,595 - But - I can never forget 418 00:17:36,595 --> 00:17:38,755 that you were human and count fuck up. 419 00:17:39,705 --> 00:17:43,595 - Yeah. - And I love for people who believe 420 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:46,075 that their dom hung the fucking moon. 421 00:17:46,235 --> 00:17:49,035 I think you hung the moon. But I'm very well aware 422 00:17:49,395 --> 00:17:51,565 that you put your damn pants on one leg at a time 423 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,605 and might stumble and trip over yourself. 424 00:17:54,805 --> 00:17:56,365 'cause we're human. Yeah. 425 00:17:56,555 --> 00:17:58,765 Like you are my everything, 426 00:17:58,905 --> 00:18:01,605 but also you are not infallible. 427 00:18:02,145 --> 00:18:03,965 - No. - You know what I mean? So you can fuck up. 428 00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:06,725 I can think I've told you everything 429 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:11,245 and have forgotten a thing, maybe hid a thing for myself 430 00:18:11,245 --> 00:18:12,365 that I didn't wanna admit to you. 431 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,205 And now I'm in a situation where I let you do a thing 432 00:18:16,205 --> 00:18:17,245 that you should never have done 433 00:18:17,245 --> 00:18:19,085 because I didn't do something I should have done. 434 00:18:19,085 --> 00:18:21,325 Mm-Hmm. . Why? Because I'm fucking human. 435 00:18:22,265 --> 00:18:26,165 So this idea that consent can't be revoked. 436 00:18:28,395 --> 00:18:31,885 - Yeah. - And I, I say this Mm-Hmm. . 437 00:18:31,885 --> 00:18:32,805 And I'm, I do mean this. 438 00:18:32,805 --> 00:18:33,925 It probably doesn't come out this way. 439 00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:38,885 I'm not trying to yuck on anybody's yum or kink shame 440 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:40,325 or say that you are not allowed. 441 00:18:40,425 --> 00:18:42,445 You are allowed to do whatever the fuck you wanna do. 442 00:18:42,545 --> 00:18:44,885 But if anybody comes to ask me if I think 443 00:18:44,885 --> 00:18:47,085 that's a good idea, I'm gonna say no. 444 00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:49,685 I'm gonna say I advise against that. 445 00:18:50,305 --> 00:18:51,325 I'm gonna say, yeah, 446 00:18:51,325 --> 00:18:53,765 but there better be a break glass 447 00:18:53,825 --> 00:18:56,445 for emergency something fucking something. 448 00:18:56,445 --> 00:18:59,125 Mm-Hmm. . Because that is the reality of life. 449 00:18:59,315 --> 00:19:03,165 Yeah. Like, things can be going on perfectly. 450 00:19:03,505 --> 00:19:05,365 You can never have a mishap in the bedroom 451 00:19:05,705 --> 00:19:07,405 or outta the bedroom in your relationship. 452 00:19:07,405 --> 00:19:11,485 Everything can be smooth fucking sailing until it's not. 453 00:19:13,135 --> 00:19:17,725 Until it's not. And if you think whoever you might be 454 00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:19,125 that you can predict that 455 00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:22,485 and work around that, well then when did you become God? 456 00:19:22,705 --> 00:19:25,405 Uh, did you get an official name tag for that? 457 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,165 Do you clock in somewhere for 458 00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:28,165 - That ? 459 00:19:28,165 --> 00:19:30,365 - Because it's just not how life works. Mm-Hmm. 460 00:19:30,405 --> 00:19:32,005 - . It's - Just how life works. 461 00:19:32,465 --> 00:19:34,005 - But, you know, and, and again, 462 00:19:34,905 --> 00:19:37,965 and something that, that, um, X brought up in the chat, 463 00:19:39,425 --> 00:19:42,445 you know, if if you're the person who says, you know, 464 00:19:42,445 --> 00:19:47,285 that irrevocable consent, you know, 465 00:19:47,305 --> 00:19:49,125 is is something to them, then maybe it's not 466 00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:50,285 the person you want to be with. 467 00:19:51,265 --> 00:19:52,965 And and that may be absolutely true if 468 00:19:52,965 --> 00:19:54,245 that's something that is not for you. 469 00:19:54,745 --> 00:19:56,285 But that made me think 470 00:19:56,975 --> 00:20:01,605 years ago when I first came into the community, um, 471 00:20:02,055 --> 00:20:06,125 there were people who heartfelt believed 472 00:20:06,515 --> 00:20:10,365 that you should never have feelings. 473 00:20:11,105 --> 00:20:13,525 - Oh god. Yeah. - For, for for your submissive. Yeah. 474 00:20:13,965 --> 00:20:18,405 I remember having, having feelings then jade's your, 475 00:20:19,425 --> 00:20:23,045 um, I need a word decision making. 476 00:20:23,045 --> 00:20:26,725 Your, your, your decision making in, you know, how to be a, 477 00:20:26,885 --> 00:20:30,605 a strong dom or a good dominant, you know, sadist 478 00:20:30,785 --> 00:20:31,785 - The one true way. 479 00:20:31,785 --> 00:20:32,885 Yeah. Uhhuh , uhhuh . 480 00:20:32,905 --> 00:20:34,845 - And, and not even necessarily one true way. 481 00:20:35,105 --> 00:20:38,205 It it's just that they believe that feels you 482 00:20:38,205 --> 00:20:39,205 - Can't be a good, right. 483 00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:41,285 Yeah. That's a, that is a type of one truism. 484 00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:43,205 'cause what does that say to every dom who's in love 485 00:20:43,205 --> 00:20:44,285 with their submissive? 486 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:48,005 Yeah. It's just another, it's another way of getting 487 00:20:48,005 --> 00:20:50,045 to the same thing of this is the quote Right. 488 00:20:50,045 --> 00:20:51,885 Way. And that explains, 489 00:20:51,885 --> 00:20:54,605 and some people may never come up against it these days, 490 00:20:54,705 --> 00:20:56,325 but every once in a while I see it, 491 00:20:56,325 --> 00:20:59,285 and I have seen it in the past where people will go, you're, 492 00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:03,885 are you allowed to be in a relationship outside of DSS 493 00:21:03,885 --> 00:21:06,605 with your, with, with this partner? 494 00:21:06,745 --> 00:21:10,525 Are you allowed to get together outside of the scene? 495 00:21:10,865 --> 00:21:13,205 And I think it comes from that sort of older way 496 00:21:13,985 --> 00:21:15,205 of, of thinking there. 497 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,365 Prob I'm sure there are still pockets 498 00:21:17,505 --> 00:21:18,925 of communities around the world 499 00:21:19,115 --> 00:21:20,115 - That Yeah. 500 00:21:20,115 --> 00:21:21,525 - Who still talk about that kind of thing. Right. 501 00:21:21,865 --> 00:21:25,085 You know, and I think it's okay not to be in love 502 00:21:25,265 --> 00:21:26,725 or not to have deep feelings, 503 00:21:26,825 --> 00:21:29,005 but I would like you to have enough feelings 504 00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:31,045 that you care about my humanity . 505 00:21:31,045 --> 00:21:34,005 - Well, that, that is, that is, that is absolutely true. 506 00:21:34,515 --> 00:21:35,565 That is absolutely true. 507 00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:37,165 I mean, you know, 508 00:21:37,345 --> 00:21:40,645 not everybody wants a relationship in that aspect. 509 00:21:40,645 --> 00:21:41,925 Mm-Hmm. , you know, and some, 510 00:21:42,065 --> 00:21:45,845 and there are people who do want a relationship. 511 00:21:45,845 --> 00:21:47,365 Right. You know, combined with that. 512 00:21:47,785 --> 00:21:50,485 So, you know, again, it's a matter of what you want. Mm-Hmm. 513 00:21:50,525 --> 00:21:53,045 . And I think it, you know, the kind 514 00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,605 of comes down to the same thing with this. 515 00:21:55,505 --> 00:21:58,045 - So Yes. And I, and I agree and I agree. 516 00:21:58,305 --> 00:21:59,405 I'm gonna, I'm trying to breathe. 517 00:21:59,865 --> 00:22:04,085 So irrevocable consent really grinds my fucking gears. 518 00:22:04,185 --> 00:22:06,685 If you couldn't tell , let's back up, 519 00:22:07,515 --> 00:22:10,805 because I've based, I've tried to define blanket consent. 520 00:22:10,805 --> 00:22:13,005 Consent is negotiated once and then assumed from there. 521 00:22:13,475 --> 00:22:16,645 Safe words are, it's not always, not everyone, 522 00:22:16,785 --> 00:22:18,685 but in general it's limited use. 523 00:22:19,475 --> 00:22:22,365 Like, like you and I can be having a conversation 524 00:22:22,465 --> 00:22:23,725 and you could suggest something 525 00:22:23,725 --> 00:22:25,525 and I might immediately know it's a hard no. 526 00:22:25,525 --> 00:22:27,165 And I'll go red. Right. 527 00:22:28,005 --> 00:22:32,725 and I And I'm sure that that's, you know, 528 00:22:32,795 --> 00:22:34,285 it's a tongue in cheek of Okay. 529 00:22:34,285 --> 00:22:35,445 That's not what we actually meant. 530 00:22:35,905 --> 00:22:38,525 Um, I know there are some people who will, 531 00:22:39,065 --> 00:22:41,805 who will safe word in an argument, who will safe word. 532 00:22:41,865 --> 00:22:43,285 Mm-Hmm. just when they get a, 533 00:22:43,465 --> 00:22:45,645 not when they are at the end of their limit, 534 00:22:45,705 --> 00:22:48,565 or they're like worried about, you know, harm being done, 535 00:22:48,565 --> 00:22:51,005 but like, they just, they want this moment to stop 536 00:22:51,385 --> 00:22:52,965 and everybody has the right to do that. 537 00:22:53,135 --> 00:22:54,245 Y'all, first of all. 538 00:22:54,265 --> 00:22:57,685 But I, my understanding from this part 539 00:22:57,685 --> 00:23:00,285 of blanket consent then, that I've recently learned about, 540 00:23:01,065 --> 00:23:05,125 is that that would be non-existent to completely rare 541 00:23:05,465 --> 00:23:06,925 to just have be uncomfortable. 542 00:23:07,105 --> 00:23:09,245 Mm-Hmm. and, and safe word out. 543 00:23:09,705 --> 00:23:13,685 Now, me personally, I cannot think of the last time that 544 00:23:14,585 --> 00:23:18,085 not hard limit, not fear, not pain. 545 00:23:18,265 --> 00:23:19,765 Not everything's going horribly wrong. 546 00:23:19,765 --> 00:23:21,165 What the fuck is wrong? Mm-Hmm. . Not that, 547 00:23:21,265 --> 00:23:23,485 but like, I am uncomfortable with 548 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,285 what we're doing right now, and I'm, 549 00:23:25,465 --> 00:23:26,805 I'm uncertain or uncomfortable. 550 00:23:26,925 --> 00:23:28,765 I cannot remember the last time I safe word for that. 551 00:23:29,025 --> 00:23:30,725 If you safe word for that. That is, okay, 552 00:23:30,785 --> 00:23:31,845 let me reiterate that. 553 00:23:32,585 --> 00:23:35,205 So that's another place where I go, okay, 554 00:23:35,535 --> 00:23:39,405 maybe we do more blanket consent than I realized. 555 00:23:39,555 --> 00:23:42,405 Yeah. Then I get to the whole, um, it's, you know, 556 00:23:43,455 --> 00:23:44,565 under blanket consent, 557 00:23:44,565 --> 00:23:46,040 submiss submissive tend to have fewer limits. 558 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,045 And I'm like, okay, no, I don't count here 559 00:23:48,045 --> 00:23:50,885 because I don't, I don't, 560 00:23:52,885 --> 00:23:54,085 I have plenty of limits. 561 00:23:54,225 --> 00:23:56,285 And sometimes I think, wow, I have a lot of limits. 562 00:23:56,765 --> 00:23:58,565 , you are allowed to do these things, 563 00:23:58,745 --> 00:24:02,365 but only on Tuesday under the full moon, 564 00:24:02,995 --> 00:24:04,485 when Saturn is in the sky 565 00:24:04,505 --> 00:24:05,805 or something. You know what I mean? 566 00:24:06,205 --> 00:24:10,205 - . Yeah. Like, - And I, I definitely know 567 00:24:10,205 --> 00:24:13,045 that there are plenty of sters who are like, nah, 568 00:24:13,205 --> 00:24:14,365 I don't want a partner that's 569 00:24:14,705 --> 00:24:17,005 so narrow in what they will allow. 570 00:24:17,005 --> 00:24:19,365 Mm-Hmm. that, like we've talked about in the 571 00:24:19,365 --> 00:24:21,565 past, we don't play to the edge of my boundaries. 572 00:24:21,705 --> 00:24:23,445 Mm-Hmm. . It's a, here are my boundaries. 573 00:24:23,445 --> 00:24:27,045 They're a fence. You try to play within the center of it. 574 00:24:27,045 --> 00:24:28,165 Right. 'cause we're not actually 575 00:24:28,165 --> 00:24:29,325 trying to get me to safe word. 576 00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:30,645 We're trying Mm-Hmm. for everybody 577 00:24:30,645 --> 00:24:31,685 to have a good time together. 578 00:24:31,685 --> 00:24:33,325 Right. Not just you to have a good time. 579 00:24:33,345 --> 00:24:34,365 For me to have a good time. 580 00:24:34,915 --> 00:24:37,405 Doesn't mean you don't push me sometimes. Definitely pushes. 581 00:24:37,735 --> 00:24:39,925 We're like on the western side of the gate, 582 00:24:39,925 --> 00:24:41,325 next, next to the fence. 583 00:24:41,375 --> 00:24:42,405 We're real close to the 584 00:24:42,405 --> 00:24:43,565 fence, but we didn't touch it . 585 00:24:43,705 --> 00:24:45,005 And sometimes we're dead in the center. 586 00:24:45,005 --> 00:24:46,085 And those are the ones I like. 587 00:24:46,265 --> 00:24:50,405 Um, , I don't know if that metaphor makes any sense. 588 00:24:50,605 --> 00:24:53,405 I can see it in my head. Uh, it's okay if you can't. 589 00:24:53,785 --> 00:24:55,445 Um, so that's why I kinda think, well, 590 00:24:55,445 --> 00:24:57,245 maybe we do a little bit of blanket consent. 591 00:24:57,245 --> 00:24:58,805 We just haven't talked about it that way. Mm-Hmm. 592 00:24:58,845 --> 00:24:59,765 . We just haven't thought about it that way. 593 00:25:00,305 --> 00:25:02,965 But what do you think about just the idea 594 00:25:03,145 --> 00:25:04,405 of blanket consent? 595 00:25:04,405 --> 00:25:06,285 We'll come back. We're not talking about irrevocable. 596 00:25:06,285 --> 00:25:07,365 That one just pisses me off. Um, 597 00:25:07,365 --> 00:25:08,725 just the idea of blanket consent, 598 00:25:10,025 --> 00:25:13,845 - The idea of blanket consent in a sense doesn't bother me. 599 00:25:16,185 --> 00:25:18,205 Um, I don't really find anything upsetting 600 00:25:18,205 --> 00:25:19,485 about it. Well, no, but I 601 00:25:19,485 --> 00:25:22,965 - Mean, I mean, what do you think about it for us? 602 00:25:23,385 --> 00:25:24,725 Mm-Hmm. ? Like, do you think that we follow 603 00:25:24,735 --> 00:25:28,205 under it and or do you have any thoughts of like, oh, 604 00:25:28,225 --> 00:25:30,125 people should be concerned about this, 605 00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:31,325 they should watch out for that. 606 00:25:31,425 --> 00:25:32,965 That's where my mind goes. Yeah. 607 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,845 - I mean, do I think we fall under it? 608 00:25:36,605 --> 00:25:38,605 I I think we do a little bit to a certain extent 609 00:25:38,795 --> 00:25:40,085 with some of the things that we do. 610 00:25:40,865 --> 00:25:44,285 Um, and you're right. It wasn't something we negotiated. 611 00:25:44,485 --> 00:25:47,645 I think it was just something that kind of developed 612 00:25:47,705 --> 00:25:49,365 as our, our dss 613 00:25:50,015 --> 00:25:51,015 - Right. 614 00:25:51,015 --> 00:25:52,365 Because I think developed, it goes back to the trust 615 00:25:52,465 --> 00:25:53,725 and the vulnerability we've had 616 00:25:53,725 --> 00:25:55,605 that we know each other well enough. 617 00:25:56,275 --> 00:25:57,525 Very rarely, excuse me. 618 00:25:57,635 --> 00:26:00,405 Very rarely do we surprise each other within our 619 00:26:00,405 --> 00:26:01,645 power exchange in general. 620 00:26:02,305 --> 00:26:04,885 And when we do, it's almost never like a negative surprise. 621 00:26:04,885 --> 00:26:06,685 Like, what the fuck just happened here? Mm-Hmm. 622 00:26:06,725 --> 00:26:08,645 , we're both pretty solid 623 00:26:08,745 --> 00:26:10,485 and stable in what we already do. 624 00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:13,445 What we already want. How we already are with one another. 625 00:26:14,105 --> 00:26:16,725 So one that doesn't, that means for us, you don't have 626 00:26:16,725 --> 00:26:18,445 to constantly go, are you good with this? 627 00:26:18,505 --> 00:26:19,685 Are you good with this? Mm-Hmm. , you know, 628 00:26:19,905 --> 00:26:21,445 you might check in during scenes 629 00:26:21,455 --> 00:26:23,725 where there's sure sensation going on 630 00:26:23,725 --> 00:26:26,045 and we're, we're playing on the edge of the fence there. 631 00:26:26,045 --> 00:26:28,365 Mm-Hmm. . But in general, you don't, 632 00:26:28,365 --> 00:26:31,125 you don't have to ask me, Hey, is this okay with you? 633 00:26:31,185 --> 00:26:32,205 Hey, does this work for you? 634 00:26:32,205 --> 00:26:34,005 Because, you know, at this point, right. Yeah. 635 00:26:34,505 --> 00:26:36,165 And I, that makes me wonder if, um, 636 00:26:36,915 --> 00:26:41,045 more long-term couples get to some level of blanket consent. 637 00:26:41,045 --> 00:26:42,445 Mm-Hmm. without ever realizing it. 638 00:26:42,475 --> 00:26:44,485 Because it's like, yeah, I know who you are. 639 00:26:44,485 --> 00:26:45,845 You've consented to this. Mm-Hmm. . 640 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:48,005 I also, and I think to me, this is 641 00:26:48,005 --> 00:26:49,685 where things like blanket terms, like blanket 642 00:26:49,685 --> 00:26:52,365 and consent make me a little nervous when they're not, 643 00:26:52,835 --> 00:26:55,965 when the, the definition is a little shaky. 644 00:26:55,965 --> 00:26:57,085 Wibbly wobbly. Mm-Hmm. . 645 00:26:57,085 --> 00:26:59,405 Because at no point in the discussion 646 00:26:59,675 --> 00:27:03,005 that I've heard about blanket consent, to be fair, 647 00:27:03,235 --> 00:27:04,725 it's been not been that many. 648 00:27:04,735 --> 00:27:06,685 Right? Mm-Hmm. . Is it like, yeah, 649 00:27:06,685 --> 00:27:08,085 but I'm definitely gonna safe word. 650 00:27:08,085 --> 00:27:10,085 Like the thing that made my eyebrows go is 651 00:27:10,085 --> 00:27:12,325 that safe words are sometimes are, if they're used, 652 00:27:12,395 --> 00:27:14,045 it's really only in true emergencies. 653 00:27:14,275 --> 00:27:15,885 Yeah. That's fine. 654 00:27:16,045 --> 00:27:17,725 I know that there are people who play like that, right? 655 00:27:17,725 --> 00:27:19,845 Mm-Hmm. . And that, that's fine. That's fine. 656 00:27:20,385 --> 00:27:22,685 I'm not, I don't, I care what you do. 657 00:27:22,845 --> 00:27:24,245 'cause I want everybody to be happy, healthy, 658 00:27:24,745 --> 00:27:25,765 and, you know, whatever. 659 00:27:25,795 --> 00:27:28,245 Sure. But also I don't care 'cause it's your life. Do it. 660 00:27:28,345 --> 00:27:30,005 But when I think about it, like if somebody were 661 00:27:30,005 --> 00:27:31,285 to ask me about it, I'm gonna be like, 662 00:27:31,385 --> 00:27:33,845 but shit can come up that you didn't expect. 663 00:27:34,235 --> 00:27:37,325 Even after all this time, shit can come up. 664 00:27:37,605 --> 00:27:40,845 I mean, it's, it's rare Yeah. When it happens. 665 00:27:41,225 --> 00:27:45,365 But if I need to let you know that, you know, hey, I, 666 00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:47,005 we will get to free use in a minute, 667 00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:50,005 but like blanket consent would, would include free use. 668 00:27:50,005 --> 00:27:52,765 Free use. Mm-Hmm. to me would be kind 669 00:27:52,765 --> 00:27:53,885 of together with it. 670 00:27:53,995 --> 00:27:58,565 Another whatever. Be like, okay, well yeah, uh, 671 00:27:59,185 --> 00:28:01,765 you have my blanket consent to fuck me, 672 00:28:01,785 --> 00:28:04,605 but I am spewing vomit and shit. 673 00:28:04,955 --> 00:28:08,165 It's coming out both ends. Or I, I'm, I don't wanna do this. 674 00:28:08,745 --> 00:28:10,045 Are you sure you wanna do this? 675 00:28:10,045 --> 00:28:11,645 Like, I'm gonna have that conversation. 676 00:28:12,885 --> 00:28:16,445 I think most people, most dumbs who get to a level 677 00:28:16,445 --> 00:28:19,125 where they can do blanket consent are gonna go, wow. 678 00:28:19,545 --> 00:28:22,165 Uh, my partner's leaking from both ends. 679 00:28:22,525 --> 00:28:25,285 , I don't find that in any way Interesting. 680 00:28:25,285 --> 00:28:28,645 And don't like to break my toys. So therefore Yeah. 681 00:28:28,645 --> 00:28:30,485 They, I'm not gonna put them in a position Mm-Hmm. 682 00:28:30,525 --> 00:28:32,405 to have to like revoke consent. 683 00:28:32,465 --> 00:28:33,965 And maybe that's it. Maybe that's the thing 684 00:28:34,205 --> 00:28:37,805 that the missing piece that for long-term relationships 685 00:28:37,805 --> 00:28:42,005 that get to blanket consent in some form, it's not 686 00:28:42,035 --> 00:28:44,485 that there's no safe word to use, it's 687 00:28:44,485 --> 00:28:47,725 that they are not gonna put their partner in a position 688 00:28:47,725 --> 00:28:49,845 where they need to, you know? 689 00:28:50,345 --> 00:28:51,805 Do I think that would happen with all people 690 00:28:52,425 --> 00:28:53,765 in all those situations? 691 00:28:53,785 --> 00:28:54,925 Of course not. Mm-Hmm. . 692 00:28:55,065 --> 00:28:58,165 But I would think that maybe, I would like 693 00:28:58,185 --> 00:29:01,005 to believe the optimist to me would like to believe 694 00:29:01,315 --> 00:29:03,325 that if you're that long term Mm-Hmm. 695 00:29:03,365 --> 00:29:06,045 to get to that point and the trust is there 696 00:29:06,045 --> 00:29:09,245 and it's a healthy relationship that the reason that this, 697 00:29:09,345 --> 00:29:12,405 the, uh, safe word isn't used often is not 698 00:29:12,405 --> 00:29:14,645 because the submissive partner can't, 699 00:29:14,785 --> 00:29:16,045 or the dominant, let's be real. 700 00:29:16,045 --> 00:29:19,845 Mm-Hmm. . But because they don't need to. Yeah. 701 00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:21,725 I mean, do you find it sexy 702 00:29:21,825 --> 00:29:25,725 to fuck me senseless when I'm like coughing up along sn 703 00:29:26,445 --> 00:29:30,285 snotty little nose and my eyes are red roomed . 704 00:29:30,975 --> 00:29:33,765 Right. . Do you, do you think 705 00:29:33,765 --> 00:29:35,605 that I would consent to that? 706 00:29:36,545 --> 00:29:40,525 No. Right. So would you place that demand on me? 707 00:29:41,425 --> 00:29:43,805 No. No. So then I don't need to safe word out. Mm-Hmm. 708 00:29:43,845 --> 00:29:45,605 , I don't need to, to withdraw my consent. 709 00:29:46,245 --> 00:29:50,085 I wonder if that is more the air quote this 710 00:29:50,245 --> 00:29:51,925 'cause nothing's normal, but more the norm. 711 00:29:52,105 --> 00:29:53,765 Mm-Hmm. In those kinds of situations. 712 00:29:53,835 --> 00:29:55,685 It's not that people don't have the safe word, it's 713 00:29:55,685 --> 00:29:56,765 that they don't need it. 714 00:29:56,915 --> 00:29:59,445 - Need it. Yeah. Yeah. 715 00:29:59,485 --> 00:30:01,445 I mean, we, we haven't really used 716 00:30:03,645 --> 00:30:05,125 a safe word in a long time. 717 00:30:06,585 --> 00:30:07,845 You and I. Mm-Hmm. 718 00:30:07,885 --> 00:30:09,925 - . Mm-Hmm. - . Now when we are 719 00:30:11,875 --> 00:30:15,565 playing, you know, doing some kind of play, I do check in 720 00:30:15,565 --> 00:30:17,165 with you and ask you for a color. 721 00:30:17,865 --> 00:30:21,125 - Yes. Yes. I mean, part of it is we're outside of our 722 00:30:21,745 --> 00:30:23,885 normal whatever, there's lots going on. 723 00:30:23,885 --> 00:30:25,285 Mm-Hmm. we're doing new st Like 724 00:30:25,285 --> 00:30:27,205 there's all kinds of Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. 725 00:30:27,625 --> 00:30:29,325 - So, you know, I, I do that. 726 00:30:29,505 --> 00:30:31,685 But yeah, as far as far 727 00:30:31,685 --> 00:30:33,525 as the safe word, no, we haven't really. 728 00:30:34,115 --> 00:30:35,285 Yeah, go ahead. Let her in. 729 00:30:35,825 --> 00:30:40,605 And, um, you know, a again, that, that kind 730 00:30:40,605 --> 00:30:44,205 of goes back to what you were saying earlier, that you know, 731 00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:49,485 we, we know, I know your limits and we play within that. 732 00:30:50,255 --> 00:30:53,125 - Right. And I can trust you to do that. 733 00:30:53,205 --> 00:30:54,445 I don't have to be on guard. Mm-Hmm. 734 00:30:54,485 --> 00:30:56,685 , I don't remember really being on 735 00:30:56,685 --> 00:30:57,725 guard in the beginning. 736 00:30:58,425 --> 00:30:59,725 Partly because you were, I mean, 737 00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:02,245 you were constantly checking in, so there was no, you know. 738 00:31:02,395 --> 00:31:04,405 Yeah. I didn't have to question whether you, 739 00:31:04,505 --> 00:31:06,245 you knew anything you would ask me directly. 740 00:31:06,265 --> 00:31:09,405 And then we got to a point where you didn't have to check in 741 00:31:09,405 --> 00:31:12,085 and I didn't need you to, because I try, that goes back 742 00:31:12,105 --> 00:31:16,645 to the whole blanket consent as a relationship style. 743 00:31:16,715 --> 00:31:20,925 Like a a an overall guiding light to the relationship. 744 00:31:20,925 --> 00:31:24,005 Mm-Hmm. The power exchange is absolutely an advanced 745 00:31:24,005 --> 00:31:25,085 level kind of thing. 746 00:31:25,605 --> 00:31:27,405 Rah points out in live chat that when you don't, you get 747 00:31:27,405 --> 00:31:29,245 to a point, you don't have to ask for permission for hugs 748 00:31:29,245 --> 00:31:31,045 and kisses from a partner that's blanket consent. 749 00:31:31,235 --> 00:31:32,765 True. And that is the thing you get 750 00:31:32,765 --> 00:31:35,845 to faster than in your relationship. 751 00:31:36,085 --> 00:31:38,205 I just take care of everything as the dumb mm-Hmm. 752 00:31:38,245 --> 00:31:39,325 , you don't say for it 753 00:31:39,325 --> 00:31:40,765 unless it's a medical emergency. 754 00:31:40,835 --> 00:31:43,085 Your limits are, you know, whatever. Yeah. 755 00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,205 Like, I think these are levels to this thing. 756 00:31:45,205 --> 00:31:46,765 And I think a lot of people in relationships get 757 00:31:46,765 --> 00:31:48,125 to some level of blanket consent 758 00:31:48,125 --> 00:31:50,245 because you've got things like, I don't have 759 00:31:50,485 --> 00:31:53,125 to ask you if I can hold your hand. 760 00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:55,965 I don't have to ask you if I can do this thing for you. 761 00:31:55,965 --> 00:31:57,885 Mm-Hmm. , I don't, you know, you don't have 762 00:31:57,885 --> 00:31:58,965 to ask if you can touch me. 763 00:31:58,965 --> 00:32:01,925 True. Like we are way past that point. Yes. I agree. 764 00:32:01,955 --> 00:32:03,765 That is a form of blanket consent. 765 00:32:03,985 --> 00:32:05,485 The part where it makes my mind just, 766 00:32:05,795 --> 00:32:08,285 there's like tires screeching in my brain. 767 00:32:08,725 --> 00:32:11,205 is when we're talk, talking about it, 768 00:32:11,205 --> 00:32:13,125 is the overarching guiding light 769 00:32:13,125 --> 00:32:14,725 of the entire power exchange. 770 00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:16,885 Well, now I have questions, . Yeah. 771 00:32:16,985 --> 00:32:18,005 Now I have questions. 772 00:32:18,665 --> 00:32:21,045 And again, I'm sure there are people who can make it work 773 00:32:22,145 --> 00:32:23,925 and probab and, and likely do. 774 00:32:23,925 --> 00:32:28,605 But I still think that there's gonna be some realism, 775 00:32:29,665 --> 00:32:31,925 um, that has to factor in. 776 00:32:31,925 --> 00:32:32,925 There's gonna be a time, 777 00:32:32,925 --> 00:32:34,765 like the weirdest fucking thing ever happens 778 00:32:34,995 --> 00:32:36,245 that you couldn't have prepared for. 779 00:32:36,555 --> 00:32:41,525 There's gonna be a time when your part, the dom who 780 00:32:43,115 --> 00:32:45,125 sees all, knows all, doesn't see all 781 00:32:45,125 --> 00:32:46,805 and know all, you know me very well. 782 00:32:46,985 --> 00:32:48,885 You can at this point kind of tell 783 00:32:48,885 --> 00:32:50,485 what I'm thinking from across the room based 784 00:32:50,485 --> 00:32:51,565 on my facial expression. 785 00:32:51,835 --> 00:32:54,005 That doesn't mean that there aren't moments 786 00:32:54,005 --> 00:32:56,645 where you don't see my face or Mm-Hmm. 787 00:32:56,685 --> 00:32:59,325 , you know, I don't communicate in my typical 788 00:32:59,395 --> 00:33:00,965 ways that something has gone wrong 789 00:33:01,305 --> 00:33:03,525 and I have to be explicit about it. 790 00:33:03,975 --> 00:33:08,285 Right. To put the total burden on you to always just know 791 00:33:08,805 --> 00:33:10,325 I will, I don't think I'll ever think is fair. 792 00:33:11,705 --> 00:33:15,245 I'm way too anxious for our entire relationship 793 00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:16,485 to be blanket consent. 794 00:33:16,685 --> 00:33:20,045 'cause my brain goes immediately to the what ifs. Of course. 795 00:33:20,235 --> 00:33:22,445 What, what if this happens and he doesn't see it? Mm-Hmm. 796 00:33:22,485 --> 00:33:23,085 . What if that happens? 797 00:33:23,275 --> 00:33:24,485 What if something goes wrong with him? 798 00:33:24,485 --> 00:33:26,765 But he doesn't get a chance to tell me what if like, 799 00:33:26,925 --> 00:33:28,485 I mm-Hmm mm-Hmm. 800 00:33:29,525 --> 00:33:32,085 I trust you completely. 801 00:33:33,425 --> 00:33:34,605 But I'm way too anxious. 802 00:33:34,785 --> 00:33:36,645 I'm way too realistic to go, 803 00:33:36,645 --> 00:33:39,245 but that doesn't mean that weird shit won't happen. 804 00:33:39,705 --> 00:33:42,165 And what am I gonna do if it does? You know what I mean? 805 00:33:43,465 --> 00:33:48,205 So maybe for some, not all, some people who are drawn 806 00:33:48,205 --> 00:33:52,365 to blanket consent, there might be the need for a bit 807 00:33:52,465 --> 00:33:54,325 of suspend. 808 00:33:54,325 --> 00:33:56,205 They gotta suspend disbelief a little bit 809 00:33:56,385 --> 00:33:58,445 and go Yes, blanket consent. 810 00:33:58,525 --> 00:34:00,005 I very rarely use my safe word. 811 00:34:00,245 --> 00:34:01,445 I don't really have that many limits. 812 00:34:01,535 --> 00:34:02,845 We're at that point, I don't have to, 813 00:34:02,865 --> 00:34:04,245 we don't have to talk about this all the time. 814 00:34:04,545 --> 00:34:06,485 But also I'm very aware 815 00:34:06,485 --> 00:34:08,805 that there could be the extenuating circumstance 816 00:34:08,865 --> 00:34:10,845 and then yes, this withdrawing consent. 817 00:34:10,865 --> 00:34:12,365 Is there safe word's there? 818 00:34:12,545 --> 00:34:14,525 I'm gonna put a new place, a new limit if I need to. 819 00:34:15,035 --> 00:34:18,125 It's just, maybe it's just that, it's the understanding that 820 00:34:20,035 --> 00:34:23,965 most times in most situations, yes, blanket consent. 821 00:34:23,965 --> 00:34:27,365 Mm-hmm. . But weird should happens. 822 00:34:27,945 --> 00:34:32,365 And in long term relationships, mature relationships 823 00:34:32,365 --> 00:34:34,525 where you kind of, you, you bend through it together 824 00:34:34,585 --> 00:34:36,405 and survived to get out to the other end 825 00:34:36,425 --> 00:34:37,485 and still like one another. 826 00:34:38,245 --> 00:34:41,085 . I think that's, I mean, I, I get a sense from a, 827 00:34:41,225 --> 00:34:42,965 you know, from people I know from us. 828 00:34:43,365 --> 00:34:44,445 I think that's kind of just how you 829 00:34:44,445 --> 00:34:45,565 get to, it's like, yeah, we're good. 830 00:34:45,705 --> 00:34:46,805 We don't have to talk about this all the time. 831 00:34:46,895 --> 00:34:50,885 We'll talk about it when we need to, you know, but yeah. 832 00:34:50,885 --> 00:34:52,165 You got, you got blanket consent. 833 00:34:52,185 --> 00:34:53,885 But I'll, I'll throw a flag up 834 00:34:53,885 --> 00:34:55,045 if something weird fucking happens. 835 00:34:55,285 --> 00:34:56,405 I, you know, . Yeah. 836 00:34:57,445 --> 00:34:58,885 I don't, I, 837 00:34:59,065 --> 00:35:02,685 and I don't, I feel like we're, I'm still too new 838 00:35:03,745 --> 00:35:04,925 to be able to say this. 839 00:35:05,025 --> 00:35:08,285 I'm, but the thought is there is it that 840 00:35:09,885 --> 00:35:11,845 I don't, I I would never say 841 00:35:11,845 --> 00:35:15,605 that long-term relationships lose intensity completely. 842 00:35:15,725 --> 00:35:17,005 I would never make that kind of statement. 843 00:35:17,185 --> 00:35:19,805 The intensity, the passion, the intensity for one another. 844 00:35:19,905 --> 00:35:23,485 The intensity for how you feel about what you're doing. 845 00:35:23,545 --> 00:35:25,965 The role. Like, I think that that can, that can remain. 846 00:35:26,405 --> 00:35:28,365 I do think that over time people tend to relax 847 00:35:28,475 --> 00:35:31,125 because it becomes like just your normal thing. 848 00:35:31,125 --> 00:35:32,765 Mm-Hmm. . But I wonder if 849 00:35:34,705 --> 00:35:36,285 it is not just my experience 850 00:35:36,305 --> 00:35:39,445 and other people, people have this too, where the intensity 851 00:35:39,865 --> 00:35:42,525 of, let me look deep into your eyes 852 00:35:42,585 --> 00:35:43,725 and make sure everything is okay. 853 00:35:43,725 --> 00:35:45,285 And we're gonna go through our five point plan 854 00:35:45,285 --> 00:35:46,805 to make sure we have total consent. 855 00:35:46,915 --> 00:35:48,245 Like, I, I think that 856 00:35:48,245 --> 00:35:50,685 after a while, I think people calm down 857 00:35:50,825 --> 00:35:51,885 is what I'm trying to say. 858 00:35:51,885 --> 00:35:55,205 Yeah. Yeah. I think what that means is unique to all of us. 859 00:35:55,725 --> 00:35:58,125 I think the amount of time it takes you to get 860 00:35:58,955 --> 00:36:02,525 away from some of the intensity of early beginnings 861 00:36:02,525 --> 00:36:05,445 of a relationship or early days in kink takes a different 862 00:36:05,445 --> 00:36:06,925 amount of time for everybody. 863 00:36:07,205 --> 00:36:09,885 I think it is ba it's relationship to relationship. 864 00:36:09,885 --> 00:36:11,605 Like I, I think all of that, I think all 865 00:36:11,605 --> 00:36:15,325 of the nuance things, but I think there might be some truth 866 00:36:15,505 --> 00:36:19,285 for some of us, myself included, that the, 867 00:36:20,465 --> 00:36:23,525 the focus and the, okay, are we communicating fully? 868 00:36:23,585 --> 00:36:25,605 Are we fully understood? Mm-Hmm. Have we got full consent? 869 00:36:25,705 --> 00:36:27,405 We remember our safe order like that. 870 00:36:27,405 --> 00:36:30,405 Just like it's there, but it's the background now. Yeah. 871 00:36:30,405 --> 00:36:33,405 It's the, it's the muscle memory of the relationship. 872 00:36:33,645 --> 00:36:34,805 I don't have to be that intense. 873 00:36:35,125 --> 00:36:37,325 I don't, I don't 874 00:36:39,075 --> 00:36:40,245 like it's that serious. 875 00:36:40,345 --> 00:36:41,525 And it is not that serious 876 00:36:41,525 --> 00:36:44,125 because it's just a part, it's like breathing at this point. 877 00:36:44,125 --> 00:36:47,005 This is a part of what we do. Yeah. Um, and it's understood. 878 00:36:47,025 --> 00:36:48,485 And I think that's where parts 879 00:36:48,485 --> 00:36:50,605 of blanket consent maybe come in as well. 880 00:36:50,705 --> 00:36:52,925 Are you doing okay over there? ? 881 00:36:53,885 --> 00:36:56,845 I think you got yourself too warm and cozy. . Yeah. 882 00:36:57,165 --> 00:36:58,605 - . Now I'm getting comfortable. 883 00:36:58,835 --> 00:37:01,125 - Yeah. Uh, podcast listeners. You can't see it. 884 00:37:01,125 --> 00:37:02,325 He tried real hard to be subtle, 885 00:37:02,385 --> 00:37:04,125 but that was a big old yawn. . 886 00:37:04,845 --> 00:37:09,165 - . - And then I made you cough. Yeah. Okay. 887 00:37:09,825 --> 00:37:14,245 So I would say blanket consent is probably more common in 888 00:37:14,245 --> 00:37:16,205 long-term relationships than people realize. 889 00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:19,685 Yeah. But I don't think, I think that people 890 00:37:19,705 --> 00:37:23,445 who go full in their entire dynamic is all blanket consent. 891 00:37:23,965 --> 00:37:26,325 I think they're the exceptions. Not the rule is what Mm-Hmm. 892 00:37:26,365 --> 00:37:30,205 . I'm, I'm imagining. So, uh, let's go 893 00:37:30,205 --> 00:37:32,365 to the one that we have kind of talked about. 894 00:37:32,365 --> 00:37:34,205 We just used a different term. Mm-Hmm. . 895 00:37:34,385 --> 00:37:36,045 And actually, I wanna expand on it 896 00:37:36,045 --> 00:37:40,365 because Evie came in with the actual good nuance 897 00:37:40,505 --> 00:37:41,685 of, it's not just this. 898 00:37:42,145 --> 00:37:43,205 And that was the thing 899 00:37:43,205 --> 00:37:44,965 that we did not talk about when we talked about 900 00:37:44,965 --> 00:37:46,245 sexual availability last time. 901 00:37:46,385 --> 00:37:48,805 And that is free use the kink definition. 902 00:37:49,435 --> 00:37:50,725 Side note slash caveat. 903 00:37:51,605 --> 00:37:53,445 Apparently there is a vanilla definition. 904 00:37:53,445 --> 00:37:55,125 Thank you Evie, for teaching me this. Excuse me. 905 00:37:55,315 --> 00:37:59,245 That has to do with this sort of fantasy 906 00:37:59,635 --> 00:38:02,045 that you might see in erotica, you might see in porn, 907 00:38:02,045 --> 00:38:04,485 you might see in like media of some sort 908 00:38:04,825 --> 00:38:06,805 and even online communities that build this fantasy, 909 00:38:07,325 --> 00:38:11,125 a vanilla use of free use where sex is universal 910 00:38:11,145 --> 00:38:14,765 and it is as common as shaking somebody's hand. 911 00:38:15,385 --> 00:38:16,605 And, and , 912 00:38:16,885 --> 00:38:18,125 apparently she went down like some 913 00:38:18,125 --> 00:38:19,285 rabbit holes of learning what this is. 914 00:38:19,325 --> 00:38:21,045 I did not want to drag that into this. 915 00:38:21,385 --> 00:38:22,565 And it's not our wheelhouse. 916 00:38:22,955 --> 00:38:25,725 Another good reason to go watch Evie's video , 917 00:38:25,795 --> 00:38:29,885 because I was like, this is sort of fascinating. 918 00:38:29,905 --> 00:38:33,325 And also, no, no, that kind of free use concept. 919 00:38:33,505 --> 00:38:36,485 Uh, I'm not down for not part of my fantasy . 920 00:38:36,485 --> 00:38:38,525 So we're gonna talk about the kink version of for use. 921 00:38:38,665 --> 00:38:42,885 Now, when I went to double check myself with, okay, 922 00:38:42,945 --> 00:38:44,045 how are people using for use? 923 00:38:44,045 --> 00:38:48,485 What does it mean? Overwhelmingly the definition was similar 924 00:38:48,485 --> 00:38:50,565 to the way we say sexual a availability. 925 00:38:50,565 --> 00:38:52,125 Mm-Hmm. . It is being sexually available 926 00:38:52,705 --> 00:38:53,805 to a partner. 927 00:38:54,235 --> 00:38:56,445 They can use you sexually 928 00:38:57,765 --> 00:38:58,845 whenever the fuck they feel like and 929 00:38:58,875 --> 00:38:59,765 - Time point. Yeah. 930 00:38:59,815 --> 00:39:02,525 - Right? And we technically have that. 931 00:39:02,985 --> 00:39:05,285 And also I married a mature fucking adult 932 00:39:05,925 --> 00:39:07,845 who goes, you know what? 933 00:39:08,255 --> 00:39:09,485 She's leaking from both ends. 934 00:39:09,485 --> 00:39:12,325 That's, I don't find that particularly sexy . 935 00:39:12,325 --> 00:39:15,485 And she's not going to enjoy that. So therefore Mm-Hmm. 936 00:39:15,525 --> 00:39:17,645 . But he's also the guy that's like, well, 937 00:39:17,725 --> 00:39:18,725 I woke up with a woody 938 00:39:18,725 --> 00:39:21,045 and yeah, she's over there snoring, but we gonna get this going. 939 00:39:21,185 --> 00:39:23,445 And then proceeds to pour accidentally the 940 00:39:23,445 --> 00:39:24,605 cold lube all over me. 941 00:39:24,965 --> 00:39:26,645 , I was definitely awake after that. 942 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:32,285 I was not, not not 943 00:39:32,385 --> 00:39:34,165 cranky, let's just put it that way. 944 00:39:34,405 --> 00:39:36,525 . . But he, he got what he needed 945 00:39:36,665 --> 00:39:38,725 and that Woody did not go to waste . 946 00:39:38,725 --> 00:39:40,965 Um, I think that is the, 947 00:39:41,205 --> 00:39:43,365 a very common understanding of free use. 948 00:39:44,385 --> 00:39:46,485 Mm-Hmm. . But thank you Evie, 949 00:39:46,485 --> 00:39:48,845 for like breaking it down, adding nuance, 950 00:39:48,845 --> 00:39:51,005 talking about it from a kink perspective that then, 951 00:39:51,005 --> 00:39:52,565 you know, we can talk about from a power 952 00:39:52,885 --> 00:39:54,165 exchange specific perspective. 953 00:39:54,945 --> 00:39:59,205 Um, and that is okay. 954 00:40:00,515 --> 00:40:03,045 It's, and what Evie said is she feels like it's separate 955 00:40:03,075 --> 00:40:04,165 from blanket consent. 956 00:40:04,225 --> 00:40:05,885 Mm-Hmm. . And the difference is 957 00:40:05,885 --> 00:40:06,965 subtle, but they're two separate things. 958 00:40:07,065 --> 00:40:09,445 And I think we, you can decide individually if you think 959 00:40:09,445 --> 00:40:13,845 that or not, consent is assumed after initial negotiations. 960 00:40:13,955 --> 00:40:16,605 Meaning there are the negotiations. Yeah. 961 00:40:17,075 --> 00:40:18,645 Here are my limits, here are the things it 962 00:40:18,645 --> 00:40:19,725 won't do here, blah, blah, blah. 963 00:40:20,175 --> 00:40:25,045 After that, anything the dom wants to do, 964 00:40:25,595 --> 00:40:27,845 whether it's been previously discussed 965 00:40:27,845 --> 00:40:30,645 or not, it is assumed they have consent for them. 966 00:40:31,705 --> 00:40:33,525 And the most , oh, 967 00:40:33,545 --> 00:40:35,245 he made a little face there . 968 00:40:36,105 --> 00:40:38,765 And yes, I think the most common understanding of 969 00:40:38,765 --> 00:40:41,405 that is sexually, but in kink, of course, it doesn't have 970 00:40:41,405 --> 00:40:43,965 to be sexually, it can be for hall kinds of things. 971 00:40:44,195 --> 00:40:45,365 Yeah. Um, 972 00:40:46,005 --> 00:40:48,405 - I, I think, I guess that that sigh comes in 973 00:40:48,405 --> 00:40:52,245 because I don't like the word assumed. 974 00:40:52,625 --> 00:40:54,045 - Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. 975 00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,285 . Yep. I, I agree. 976 00:40:56,425 --> 00:40:57,645 Let, let me keep going through this 977 00:40:59,115 --> 00:41:03,925 more better understanding thing to e free use is sort 978 00:41:04,005 --> 00:41:05,085 of the, and we've heard this, 979 00:41:05,145 --> 00:41:06,645 we usually hear this from the posers, 980 00:41:06,645 --> 00:41:07,805 the abusers, the predators. 981 00:41:07,865 --> 00:41:09,565 Mm-Hmm. . But this is like 982 00:41:09,765 --> 00:41:10,885 apparently a relationship style. 983 00:41:11,485 --> 00:41:14,325 A submissive is meant to do whatever the dom wants 984 00:41:14,325 --> 00:41:16,245 because the submissive belongs to the dom. 985 00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:17,485 Now I know plenty of subs 986 00:41:17,485 --> 00:41:19,525 and doms who find the whole belonging thing, 987 00:41:19,525 --> 00:41:22,125 whether you do the owner slave thing 988 00:41:22,425 --> 00:41:24,605 or not, they find that very appealing. 989 00:41:24,605 --> 00:41:26,845 They find it sexy, they find it like that's what they want. 990 00:41:26,845 --> 00:41:30,045 They want to belong to somebody. I want to belong to you. 991 00:41:30,425 --> 00:41:32,925 We don't really use that relationship, that relationship, 992 00:41:33,130 --> 00:41:34,165 that language, that term Yeah. 993 00:41:34,225 --> 00:41:36,285 In our relationship. But you're mine. And I'm yours. 994 00:41:37,465 --> 00:41:41,445 But that can be true in any dynamic . 995 00:41:42,465 --> 00:41:45,685 But in this dynamic it is 996 00:41:46,195 --> 00:41:47,485 because you belong to me. 997 00:41:47,525 --> 00:41:50,325 I can literally do whatever I want. 998 00:41:51,905 --> 00:41:54,685 Now, I would hope that is 999 00:41:54,685 --> 00:41:58,565 with the maybe unspoken understanding of within the, 1000 00:41:58,825 --> 00:42:01,725 the boundaries we previously negotiated and discussed. 1001 00:42:01,865 --> 00:42:02,925 But my question is, 1002 00:42:04,245 --> 00:42:05,365 'cause I have, I didn't really, 1003 00:42:05,405 --> 00:42:07,245 I don't think I've really seen it explained is 1004 00:42:07,245 --> 00:42:08,285 what, how do you adjust? 1005 00:42:09,445 --> 00:42:12,085 I gave you my boundaries limits on day one when I was fresh 1006 00:42:12,085 --> 00:42:14,685 faced, little submissive who thought she knew shit 1007 00:42:14,705 --> 00:42:16,805 and didn't know nothing . 1008 00:42:17,665 --> 00:42:21,445 But now we're two years in and shit has changed for me. 1009 00:42:21,845 --> 00:42:24,285 . You know what I mean? The things I used to be kind 1010 00:42:24,285 --> 00:42:27,005 of interested in, not interested in the things I thought 1011 00:42:27,005 --> 00:42:28,805 were off limits might be on. 1012 00:42:28,805 --> 00:42:31,805 Like the thing, I don't, I didn't really hear it, 1013 00:42:31,965 --> 00:42:33,485 I didn't hear it discussed in blanket consent. 1014 00:42:33,605 --> 00:42:35,125 I didn't hear it discussed in free use is 1015 00:42:35,345 --> 00:42:38,445 how the fuck do you renegotiate if every moment 1016 00:42:38,705 --> 00:42:41,885 of every day the dom just gets, assumes they have consent 1017 00:42:41,905 --> 00:42:43,525 or gets to, they have the consent 1018 00:42:43,545 --> 00:42:45,085 so they just do what they want. Mm-Hmm. . 1019 00:42:45,545 --> 00:42:48,965 - Now that I think that goes into the, um, 1020 00:42:50,575 --> 00:42:53,485 realm of, um, something you mentioned earlier 1021 00:42:53,755 --> 00:42:56,445 that there are some people who have a safe word. 1022 00:42:56,445 --> 00:42:58,565 Mm-Hmm. . When certain things get too 1023 00:42:59,395 --> 00:43:02,125 intense in their dss, they have a safe word. 1024 00:43:02,665 --> 00:43:05,485 The DS ends, they step out of the, out of that Mm-Hmm. 1025 00:43:05,725 --> 00:43:07,805 . And, and they talk and they negotiate 1026 00:43:07,805 --> 00:43:09,725 and maybe, you know, and, and go from there. 1027 00:43:10,225 --> 00:43:14,885 Um, there is was someone I knew years ago that had 1028 00:43:15,565 --> 00:43:19,765 a, once their partner signed on to be their sub, 1029 00:43:20,395 --> 00:43:22,125 they, they were there to do whatever 1030 00:43:24,275 --> 00:43:25,685 they were told to do. I'm too 1031 00:43:25,685 --> 00:43:27,285 - Anxious for that. I'm too anxious 1032 00:43:27,425 --> 00:43:28,425 - For that . 1033 00:43:28,425 --> 00:43:31,485 And, and their, their, their safe, um, their 1034 00:43:32,665 --> 00:43:37,285 safety net so to speak, was they ag prior to this. 1035 00:43:37,305 --> 00:43:39,685 And as part of their negotiation, they agreed 1036 00:43:39,705 --> 00:43:41,045 to a particular person 1037 00:43:41,145 --> 00:43:42,965 who would be a third party negotiator. 1038 00:43:42,965 --> 00:43:44,165 - Right. They have a mediator. Yeah. 1039 00:43:44,165 --> 00:43:45,725 When something goes down. Right. 1040 00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:47,805 I guess I think the part that, 1041 00:43:48,465 --> 00:43:52,085 and again, maybe it's, it's an, it's free use is better for 1042 00:43:52,785 --> 00:43:56,285 longer term relationships where the trust is solid. 1043 00:43:56,495 --> 00:43:58,885 Right. And you know, one another really well, 1044 00:44:00,315 --> 00:44:04,285 that is the part that I just, I struggle with the 1045 00:44:05,185 --> 00:44:07,125 how do we renegotiate? 1046 00:44:07,125 --> 00:44:08,725 Because when I hear, 1047 00:44:08,865 --> 00:44:11,645 and again, hearing somebody talk about it from a fantasy 1048 00:44:11,815 --> 00:44:14,205 point of view is so much different than 1049 00:44:14,205 --> 00:44:15,245 the, the lived reality. 1050 00:44:15,245 --> 00:44:18,765 Right. And the lived reality tells me in my lived reality 1051 00:44:18,815 --> 00:44:21,205 means I know shit will change. 1052 00:44:21,205 --> 00:44:22,485 Mm-Hmm. , your body will change, 1053 00:44:22,515 --> 00:44:23,805 your mental health will change. 1054 00:44:24,075 --> 00:44:26,085 Your outlook on things will change your desire, 1055 00:44:26,085 --> 00:44:27,085 - Your physical health changes, 1056 00:44:27,085 --> 00:44:28,685 - Everything changes at some point. 1057 00:44:28,945 --> 00:44:32,205 And what I don't feel like I've, I've heard discussed 1058 00:44:32,205 --> 00:44:35,045 that I heard discussed even in that pairing 1059 00:44:35,045 --> 00:44:37,245 that we were at the workshop and learned about. 1060 00:44:37,245 --> 00:44:39,725 Mm. And in other places is, okay, 1061 00:44:40,385 --> 00:44:43,605 but are you prepared for shit to change? 1062 00:44:45,265 --> 00:44:49,085 And is it gonna be some sort of unpleasant shock when I have 1063 00:44:49,085 --> 00:44:52,845 to go to my mediator and go, yeah, things have changed me. 1064 00:44:52,925 --> 00:44:54,645 I need to renegotiate. 1065 00:44:55,115 --> 00:44:59,885 Like I I'm imagining that the happy, 1066 00:44:59,885 --> 00:45:02,245 healthy, responsible sters 1067 00:45:02,245 --> 00:45:03,845 who partake in any of this Absolutely. 1068 00:45:03,845 --> 00:45:05,405 Have those fail safes in place. Mm-Hmm. . 1069 00:45:05,405 --> 00:45:07,325 Because just to, uh, you know, 1070 00:45:08,025 --> 00:45:09,485 and a five word definition 1071 00:45:09,485 --> 00:45:11,645 of something never encompasses all of the nuances. 1072 00:45:11,665 --> 00:45:15,245 And I think true, the, the kinks who are trying to be 1073 00:45:16,075 --> 00:45:17,565 risk aware and to think 1074 00:45:17,565 --> 00:45:19,685 of safety are gonna have that in place. 1075 00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:21,205 But I think too often, 1076 00:45:21,205 --> 00:45:22,525 because that part never seems 1077 00:45:22,525 --> 00:45:25,605 to get fucking discussed the reality of that. 1078 00:45:25,635 --> 00:45:29,525 Yeah. 'cause it's not sexy and we can't airbrush it in black 1079 00:45:29,525 --> 00:45:31,005 and white and put it on Tumblr. 1080 00:45:31,005 --> 00:45:32,885 Mm-Hmm. that part doesn't get discussed. 1081 00:45:32,885 --> 00:45:35,245 So people come into it and they go, oh, well I'm the dom. 1082 00:45:35,245 --> 00:45:37,685 I get to do what I want. 'cause we do practice free use. 1083 00:45:37,955 --> 00:45:40,045 Yeah. And like, but where's the conversation? 1084 00:45:40,045 --> 00:45:42,125 That shit will change because the people we are, 1085 00:45:42,195 --> 00:45:43,565 when we start the relationship, 1086 00:45:43,565 --> 00:45:44,765 and maybe we don't have kids yet, 1087 00:45:44,765 --> 00:45:46,845 maybe we don't have a stressful job right now. 1088 00:45:46,845 --> 00:45:48,845 Yeah. Maybe we're not living together 1089 00:45:49,065 --> 00:45:51,805 and hearing each other shit in the bathroom. 1090 00:45:52,075 --> 00:45:55,045 Like it's a different life once you get to that point. 1091 00:45:55,935 --> 00:45:58,085 Right. Like once you know 1092 00:45:58,085 --> 00:46:01,365 what your partner sounds like in their grossest moments, 1093 00:46:01,415 --> 00:46:03,605 their most human, but their grossest moments. 1094 00:46:03,825 --> 00:46:05,685 And I'm not saying JB is the only one here 1095 00:46:05,685 --> 00:46:07,165 that has his grossest moments. 1096 00:46:07,345 --> 00:46:09,325 So do I I just feel like, 1097 00:46:10,355 --> 00:46:12,565 like blinders need to come off at that point. 1098 00:46:12,705 --> 00:46:16,485 And we have to go, oh, we are full messy human beings 1099 00:46:16,865 --> 00:46:19,045 and that means that this thing that we've started with 1100 00:46:20,345 --> 00:46:21,845 that's working for us for now, 1101 00:46:22,325 --> 00:46:26,365 or worked for us, then w it's gonna change because Sure. 1102 00:46:26,505 --> 00:46:27,965 It ain't the fantasy anymore. 1103 00:46:28,365 --> 00:46:31,485 , once you can hear the snotty sounds your partner 1104 00:46:31,485 --> 00:46:33,765 makes, I say that it's a partner who makes snotty sounds. 1105 00:46:33,945 --> 00:46:35,685 I'm, this is not me poking at jb. 1106 00:46:35,685 --> 00:46:39,805 This is just, let's be fucking real here. Right. 1107 00:46:40,105 --> 00:46:45,085 So free use sounds in a healthy dynamic sounds great. 1108 00:46:45,425 --> 00:46:49,005 But where's, where's your, your safety Yeah. Cord. 1109 00:46:49,155 --> 00:46:50,645 Like ring the bell, right? Mm-Hmm. 1110 00:46:50,685 --> 00:46:53,125 like, Hey, you can do what you want, 1111 00:46:53,145 --> 00:46:54,605 but I need us to reconstruct 1112 00:46:54,835 --> 00:46:56,205 what it is you can do that you want. 1113 00:46:56,205 --> 00:46:58,605 Right. Here's some things I've discovered about myself. 1114 00:46:58,625 --> 00:47:00,245 Here's some things we've gone through. 1115 00:47:00,385 --> 00:47:02,925 Here's some things that happen when we're in that situation. 1116 00:47:03,105 --> 00:47:05,165 And I don't think that's healthy for me. Mm-Hmm. 1117 00:47:05,205 --> 00:47:06,525 . And that's, I think 1118 00:47:06,525 --> 00:47:08,725 that's the reason I wanna talk about this, is not to go, 1119 00:47:08,725 --> 00:47:09,805 here's what free use means. 1120 00:47:09,835 --> 00:47:12,525 It's like, yeah, but let's get fucking real with it. 1121 00:47:12,965 --> 00:47:15,725 , I don't know what free use means outside 1122 00:47:15,725 --> 00:47:16,885 of sexual availability. 1123 00:47:17,745 --> 00:47:18,765 And I think that, again, 1124 00:47:18,765 --> 00:47:20,885 that is the most common usage of that term. 1125 00:47:21,345 --> 00:47:24,885 And what I know is that it's on paper free use. 1126 00:47:25,045 --> 00:47:26,485 I am always sexually available to him. 1127 00:47:26,505 --> 00:47:27,685 But let me put an asterisk 1128 00:47:27,705 --> 00:47:29,045 and we're gonna do a footnote at the, 1129 00:47:29,070 --> 00:47:32,205 at the bottom footnote, if I have a migraine 1130 00:47:32,305 --> 00:47:35,045 and I communicate that he is not fucking me. 1131 00:47:36,185 --> 00:47:40,405 If I am deathly ill, he's not fucking me. 1132 00:47:41,025 --> 00:47:42,765 If my, and now again, I have to communicate these things. 1133 00:47:42,945 --> 00:47:45,365 If my stomach hurts Mm-Hmm. 1134 00:47:45,405 --> 00:47:46,485 and I am bloated 1135 00:47:46,485 --> 00:47:49,205 and gassy, nobody wants to fuck me. 1136 00:47:49,205 --> 00:47:51,605 Yeah. Okay. like, like the 1137 00:47:52,945 --> 00:47:54,725 sexual availability all the time. 1138 00:47:55,045 --> 00:47:56,925 Whenever your dom wants it, except 1139 00:47:58,105 --> 00:47:59,365 here's the fucking reality. 1140 00:48:00,275 --> 00:48:01,965 - Yeah. - Or outside 1141 00:48:01,965 --> 00:48:04,365 of sexual availability, whatever the dom wants. 1142 00:48:04,365 --> 00:48:07,205 Well that's fine. If the dom is trustworthy. True. 1143 00:48:07,265 --> 00:48:08,845 If the dom is true sensible, 1144 00:48:09,065 --> 00:48:12,245 and it's like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna be a real asshole ass 1145 00:48:12,245 --> 00:48:13,445 person and go, okay. 1146 00:48:13,945 --> 00:48:17,085 The fantasy is I want my partner crawling 1147 00:48:17,085 --> 00:48:19,605 through the living room to me on their knees 1148 00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:23,525 with just their collar on naked, naked neck and neck. 1149 00:48:23,915 --> 00:48:26,085 That, and they will do it 'cause I said so 1150 00:48:26,345 --> 00:48:27,485 and they wanna please me. 1151 00:48:28,435 --> 00:48:32,045 Reality is we have children at home from this time to 1152 00:48:32,045 --> 00:48:34,005 that time, and they will not go to bed until this time. 1153 00:48:34,025 --> 00:48:35,325 And hey, if they're of a certain age, 1154 00:48:35,325 --> 00:48:36,645 they will most certainly wake up 1155 00:48:36,665 --> 00:48:38,005 and come running through the house. 1156 00:48:38,385 --> 00:48:42,165 And so I want that thing as the the dom, 1157 00:48:43,225 --> 00:48:46,925 but I can't fucking have that thing right now. 1158 00:48:47,195 --> 00:48:49,405 When I can't have that thing, I will have that thing 1159 00:48:49,665 --> 00:48:52,645 and maybe I'll talk to my partner about it and tease him 1160 00:48:52,645 --> 00:48:53,805 and like, you know, 1161 00:48:53,905 --> 00:48:55,885 get 'em gassed up about it, woo, woo woo. 1162 00:48:55,905 --> 00:48:58,485 And then the moment we are like, fucking kid free 1163 00:48:58,505 --> 00:49:01,285 for 30 seconds, I can have the thing I want that 1164 00:49:02,265 --> 00:49:03,565 is fucking realistic. 1165 00:49:03,745 --> 00:49:05,845 You know what I mean? Yeah. Let's take it on. 1166 00:49:05,845 --> 00:49:06,845 Not everybody's a parent. Not 1167 00:49:06,845 --> 00:49:07,685 everybody wants to be a parent. 1168 00:49:08,115 --> 00:49:09,605 More power to you. I think that's great. 1169 00:49:09,995 --> 00:49:12,685 Know who you are and like fucking honor it. Okay. 1170 00:49:13,345 --> 00:49:16,645 We don't have kids, we can do that. Oh shit. 1171 00:49:16,705 --> 00:49:19,685 My partner slipped on an icy 1172 00:49:20,395 --> 00:49:22,165 staircase coming in the house earlier. 1173 00:49:22,795 --> 00:49:26,165 They can't crawl for shit. Yeah. I want it. Mm-Hmm. Yeah. 1174 00:49:26,485 --> 00:49:28,565 I want it, it turns me the fuck on 'em. 1175 00:49:28,565 --> 00:49:29,965 Been thinking about it all day. However, 1176 00:49:30,025 --> 00:49:32,885 what's in the best interest of my sub is they sit their ass 1177 00:49:32,885 --> 00:49:34,445 down and elevate that fucking leg. 1178 00:49:34,455 --> 00:49:38,005 Right. Right. You know what I mean? Like, that's the reality 1179 00:49:39,315 --> 00:49:41,005 when we're talking about healthy partners, 1180 00:49:41,675 --> 00:49:43,245 that doesn't get fucking discussed. 1181 00:49:43,465 --> 00:49:45,645 And I know I'm boring by making you think 1182 00:49:45,645 --> 00:49:47,485 of the non-sexy parts of it. 1183 00:49:48,165 --> 00:49:50,765 I get it. But if all we talk about is the fantasy, 1184 00:49:51,035 --> 00:49:52,765 then when somebody's like, oh, hi, I have 1185 00:49:52,765 --> 00:49:53,925 to, I can't do that. 1186 00:49:54,155 --> 00:49:56,325 Yeah. For you. You can tell me what to do and I'll do it, 1187 00:49:56,325 --> 00:49:58,085 but I physically can't do it, 1188 00:49:58,115 --> 00:49:59,325 then they think they're a fucking failure. 1189 00:49:59,395 --> 00:50:00,605 They've done free use wrong. 1190 00:50:00,605 --> 00:50:02,245 Or somebody on the internet's gonna tell 'em, 1191 00:50:02,245 --> 00:50:04,125 that's not real free use that you allowed 1192 00:50:04,235 --> 00:50:07,085 reality to enter the fantasy. You know? I mean, 1193 00:50:07,835 --> 00:50:08,885 - Fuck. Yeah. 1194 00:50:09,495 --> 00:50:11,445 - Sorry, I, I'm hot now. 1195 00:50:11,725 --> 00:50:14,565 , I'm just wearing a sports bra under this, 1196 00:50:14,565 --> 00:50:15,685 so I'm not gonna take it off. 1197 00:50:15,945 --> 00:50:18,325 But I do want to . 1198 00:50:18,605 --> 00:50:20,165 I think I raised my own blood pressure. 1199 00:50:20,565 --> 00:50:23,165 - I think you did. I think you did. 1200 00:50:27,305 --> 00:50:29,405 And you know, I, I think it comes down to 1201 00:50:31,275 --> 00:50:32,845 whichever one you're, you're, 1202 00:50:32,865 --> 00:50:37,005 you're looking at whether it's, it's the, uh, blanket 1203 00:50:37,305 --> 00:50:38,605 or, or free use. 1204 00:50:39,625 --> 00:50:43,645 Um, you know, again, they are not, they are terms, 1205 00:50:45,155 --> 00:50:47,045 they are not something written in stone. 1206 00:50:47,305 --> 00:50:49,605 - Yes. And I want everybody to remember that 1207 00:50:50,345 --> 00:50:53,485 - And, and you know, you can do with it 1208 00:50:53,595 --> 00:50:55,245 what you, what you will. 1209 00:50:55,545 --> 00:50:56,805 Yes. All right. Yes. 1210 00:50:57,065 --> 00:51:00,805 Um, you know, you can have one thing 1211 00:51:02,175 --> 00:51:05,885 under the blanket, you know, under free use and, 1212 00:51:06,065 --> 00:51:09,605 and just do that and that that's all that it is to you. 1213 00:51:10,025 --> 00:51:12,085 Or you can go all in. Mm-Hmm. , 1214 00:51:13,185 --> 00:51:14,725 - As long as you understand that 1215 00:51:15,475 --> 00:51:17,085 reality will invade at some point. 1216 00:51:17,085 --> 00:51:20,205 Sure. You can go all in and it can work until it doesn't. 1217 00:51:20,385 --> 00:51:22,045 And then you have to be willing to adjust. 1218 00:51:22,305 --> 00:51:23,925 You have to understand that needing 1219 00:51:23,925 --> 00:51:26,085 to adjust is not a failing on anybody's part. 1220 00:51:26,085 --> 00:51:29,045 Right. No. It doesn't mean that your blanket consent, 1221 00:51:29,045 --> 00:51:32,005 free use, whatever dynamic you've got going is 1222 00:51:32,115 --> 00:51:33,365 invalid or not real. 1223 00:51:33,425 --> 00:51:34,445 Or the internet said 1224 00:51:34,445 --> 00:51:35,605 this is what it's supposed to be . 1225 00:51:35,605 --> 00:51:37,165 But I can't make that happen. Well, the internet is 1226 00:51:37,725 --> 00:51:38,885 frequently wrong, so, 1227 00:51:40,145 --> 00:51:42,445 and I recognize that we are on the internet, 1228 00:51:42,445 --> 00:51:44,125 and so you can think that we are frequently wrong. 1229 00:51:44,195 --> 00:51:46,605 It's fine. I, I understand what I'm saying, , 1230 00:51:47,265 --> 00:51:48,845 you know, but I think it's the Yeah. 1231 00:51:48,985 --> 00:51:50,845 The part that gets me is when we start talking about these 1232 00:51:50,845 --> 00:51:52,805 terms, and not that Evie did, Evie was trying 1233 00:51:52,805 --> 00:51:53,965 to show all these nuances, 1234 00:51:53,985 --> 00:51:55,525 but my brain was immediately going to 1235 00:51:55,585 --> 00:51:59,245 how it would be put into practice by many, well-meaning, 1236 00:51:59,425 --> 00:52:01,325 but not experienced people yet. 1237 00:52:02,985 --> 00:52:06,645 And the, the, the, I lost my, the train, 1238 00:52:06,705 --> 00:52:08,045 the train went off the tracks. 1239 00:52:08,945 --> 00:52:12,485 You know, people think of it as these terms 1240 00:52:12,485 --> 00:52:14,285 where it's set in stone what it means. 1241 00:52:14,545 --> 00:52:15,765 Mm-Hmm. . And so then 1242 00:52:15,765 --> 00:52:17,085 that's how people talk about on the internet. 1243 00:52:17,085 --> 00:52:18,085 Well, it's this thing and if you're not 1244 00:52:18,285 --> 00:52:19,405 doing this thing, you're not really doing it. 1245 00:52:19,405 --> 00:52:23,525 Right. That will always, always piss me off 1246 00:52:23,595 --> 00:52:25,205 because we just know that's not true. 1247 00:52:25,265 --> 00:52:29,085 And so when somebody is talking about free use, 1248 00:52:29,085 --> 00:52:31,445 blanket consent, pick one, pick one, pick one as a thing 1249 00:52:31,445 --> 00:52:32,925 that they're interested in exploring 1250 00:52:32,925 --> 00:52:34,405 or they're trying to educate others 1251 00:52:34,705 --> 00:52:37,445 who are interested in exploring. Mm-Hmm. 1252 00:52:37,485 --> 00:52:41,965 - , - I think it's important to do that 1253 00:52:41,965 --> 00:52:42,965 with nuance. 1254 00:52:42,985 --> 00:52:45,085 That's what I was saying. Not that Evie didn't, 1255 00:52:45,085 --> 00:52:47,125 Evie definitely did, but to go Okay. 1256 00:52:47,475 --> 00:52:50,605 This is the ideal, in your ideal world 1257 00:52:50,615 --> 00:52:53,405 where nothing ever goes wrong, what would this look like? 1258 00:52:53,595 --> 00:52:55,485 Okay. That's where we start. 1259 00:52:56,185 --> 00:52:59,485 Now, let's have real life grownup conversations about what 1260 00:52:59,485 --> 00:53:02,485 - We do - When shit doesn't go according to plan. 1261 00:53:02,665 --> 00:53:04,645 Mm-Hmm. . Because now this is me 1262 00:53:04,745 --> 00:53:06,125 and I, I handle things my way. 1263 00:53:06,125 --> 00:53:08,285 You'll handle things your way. But if you were to come to me 1264 00:53:08,285 --> 00:53:12,485 and go, I want a free use DSS relationship, that's 1265 00:53:12,485 --> 00:53:14,325 what I wanna change our dynamic to that freeze. 1266 00:53:14,325 --> 00:53:15,605 Mm-Hmm. , you belong to me. 1267 00:53:15,605 --> 00:53:19,205 You do what I say when consent in any situation is assumed I 1268 00:53:19,205 --> 00:53:21,085 can do what I want with you, you belong to me. 1269 00:53:21,085 --> 00:53:23,205 Right. And we flirt with that language. 1270 00:53:23,225 --> 00:53:25,525 You, you know, say don't break your toys, and you mean me. 1271 00:53:25,585 --> 00:53:27,125 You don't mean your fogger. Right. Right. 1272 00:53:27,325 --> 00:53:28,405 , we flirt with that language. 1273 00:53:28,765 --> 00:53:30,765 I need to, before I can agree to it, I need to be able 1274 00:53:30,765 --> 00:53:34,245 to go, okay, can you, do you know my limits? 1275 00:53:34,785 --> 00:53:38,125 Mm-Hmm. , what do we do when you ask me 1276 00:53:38,125 --> 00:53:42,005 to do something that puts my health in danger, 1277 00:53:42,595 --> 00:53:45,605 that triggers a, a psychological moment. 1278 00:53:45,655 --> 00:53:46,765 Right? Mm-Hmm. like, 1279 00:53:46,875 --> 00:53:48,045 what, what is the plan for that? 1280 00:53:48,265 --> 00:53:51,645 How do I communicate to you where I'm at? 1281 00:53:52,185 --> 00:53:53,765 So you make choices 1282 00:53:54,265 --> 00:53:57,125 and demands that keep me healthy and whole. 1283 00:53:57,125 --> 00:54:02,085 Right. And, you know, 1284 00:54:02,805 --> 00:54:07,485 I think I would imagine long-term 1285 00:54:08,295 --> 00:54:11,365 sters who have had either plenty of relationships 1286 00:54:11,385 --> 00:54:15,005 or there's plenty of experience, will be more likely 1287 00:54:15,025 --> 00:54:16,325 to ask those kinds of questions 1288 00:54:16,325 --> 00:54:19,125 or lead the conversation in that place of, okay, we, we can, 1289 00:54:19,405 --> 00:54:22,685 I can go here, but what do we do when things go wrong? 1290 00:54:24,205 --> 00:54:28,045 , it is the folks who maybe saw one TikTok 1291 00:54:28,605 --> 00:54:29,725 about free use. 1292 00:54:29,825 --> 00:54:32,965 I'm like, yeah, sure. That sounds hot. That, you know. 1293 00:54:33,025 --> 00:54:35,365 Am I, am I trying, trying to warn? Yeah. 1294 00:54:35,755 --> 00:54:38,125 Also, I'm trying to validate anybody who's ever been like, 1295 00:54:38,165 --> 00:54:39,285 I would like for use, 1296 00:54:39,345 --> 00:54:43,165 but also, you know, I, I've got too many concerns. 1297 00:54:43,245 --> 00:54:44,925 I, I don't trust my partner enough yet. 1298 00:54:44,925 --> 00:54:46,125 I don't trust anybody enough yet. 1299 00:54:46,315 --> 00:54:47,365 Like, it sounds hot to me, 1300 00:54:47,505 --> 00:54:48,925 or we tried it and it didn't work. 1301 00:54:48,925 --> 00:54:51,045 Well, did it not work because it wasn't right for you? 1302 00:54:51,225 --> 00:54:53,765 Or did it not work because it didn't match the fantasy? 1303 00:54:54,195 --> 00:54:57,205 Because there is a reality that we all have to contend 1304 00:54:57,205 --> 00:54:59,005 with every moment of every fucking day, 1305 00:54:59,035 --> 00:55:01,485 like , you know? 1306 00:55:01,745 --> 00:55:05,285 And hopefully more often than not, reality, 1307 00:55:05,435 --> 00:55:06,645 just like ticks along 1308 00:55:06,645 --> 00:55:09,885 and you can do your hot, erotic, kinky whatever, 1309 00:55:10,085 --> 00:55:13,525 whatever thing, and live that life and it won't intrude. 1310 00:55:13,665 --> 00:55:17,645 But anybody who has lived top side for, you know, 1311 00:55:18,125 --> 00:55:20,965 enough years for your brain to have fully Yeah. 1312 00:55:20,995 --> 00:55:23,765 Developed, knows that something's gonna go wrong. 1313 00:55:24,165 --> 00:55:25,165 - I mean, then, and, and that 1314 00:55:25,225 --> 00:55:26,845 - At some point of eventually, - And that is a fact. 1315 00:55:26,865 --> 00:55:29,165 And, and that may be something that is 1316 00:55:30,355 --> 00:55:32,005 already in the negotiations. 1317 00:55:32,235 --> 00:55:33,885 What happens, you know, in life. 1318 00:55:34,065 --> 00:55:36,245 - And that would be the thing. I'm, I guess I'm trying to 1319 00:55:37,365 --> 00:55:41,645 angrily impart in a, in a nonsensical rant. 1320 00:55:43,075 --> 00:55:44,965 It's not that these things are invalid. 1321 00:55:44,965 --> 00:55:48,285 Blanket consent is not invalid. Free use is not invalid. 1322 00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:50,205 It is not, quote, a wrong way 1323 00:55:50,205 --> 00:55:52,165 to do a power exchange or kink in general. 1324 00:55:52,325 --> 00:55:53,685 I would never say that. 1325 00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:58,605 I just think that to have the best chance of success, 1326 00:55:59,705 --> 00:56:02,685 you've got to have the grownup conversations about. 1327 00:56:03,025 --> 00:56:05,125 But what about when something goes wrong? Yeah. 1328 00:56:05,125 --> 00:56:08,565 And for subs out there who are, who are trying, 1329 00:56:08,585 --> 00:56:10,045 having conversations with D types, 1330 00:56:10,265 --> 00:56:13,245 if they can't admit anything will go wrong, I want you 1331 00:56:13,265 --> 00:56:14,485 to fucking run. 1332 00:56:14,675 --> 00:56:18,645 Yeah. And run until they can't admit shit goes wrong. 1333 00:56:18,945 --> 00:56:21,605 - Run for the hills. - Because that's the whole point 1334 00:56:21,605 --> 00:56:25,005 of doing any risk mitigation in kink is acknowledging 1335 00:56:25,075 --> 00:56:26,605 that something will go wrong at some point. 1336 00:56:26,605 --> 00:56:28,925 Something can, and doesn't matter how well trained you are, 1337 00:56:28,925 --> 00:56:30,645 doesn't matter how much experience you have. 1338 00:56:30,645 --> 00:56:31,485 Mm-Hmm. . It's just, 1339 00:56:31,635 --> 00:56:32,685 it's just the nature of life. 1340 00:56:32,685 --> 00:56:35,125 Something will go wrong. Sometimes it'll be human error. 1341 00:56:35,125 --> 00:56:38,085 Sometimes it'll just be the fates 1342 00:56:38,295 --> 00:56:39,365 we're not your friend that day. 1343 00:56:39,515 --> 00:56:42,365 Like, I don't know what it'll be, but it'll be something. 1344 00:56:42,585 --> 00:56:43,925 And it's not always malicious. 1345 00:56:44,345 --> 00:56:47,485 And I think that's part of the thing too. Insecure doms. 1346 00:56:47,995 --> 00:56:49,645 Okay. They're not necessarily bad, 1347 00:56:49,715 --> 00:56:51,805 they're not unhealthy necessarily. 1348 00:56:51,805 --> 00:56:53,565 They can be insecure. 1349 00:56:53,835 --> 00:56:57,365 Doms in my experience, cannot handle being questioned about 1350 00:56:57,365 --> 00:56:58,805 what you going do when it goes wrong. 1351 00:57:00,165 --> 00:57:02,405 I cringe 1352 00:57:02,465 --> 00:57:05,365 and get a little nauseous every time I see some dom dom 1353 00:57:05,365 --> 00:57:07,205 somewhere on the internet not usually talking to me. 1354 00:57:07,265 --> 00:57:09,365 I'm lurking and observing conversations Yeah. 1355 00:57:09,665 --> 00:57:11,245 Is how I learn everything. I know. 1356 00:57:11,665 --> 00:57:14,365 Uh, will say things like, well, 1357 00:57:14,365 --> 00:57:15,805 I'm not going to make a mistake. 1358 00:57:16,905 --> 00:57:20,445 You are a dumb ass because the secure dom is gonna go Yeah. 1359 00:57:20,445 --> 00:57:21,805 Something could, something could go wrong. 1360 00:57:21,985 --> 00:57:23,325 I'm gonna do my best not to let it 1361 00:57:23,325 --> 00:57:24,325 - Happen. 1362 00:57:24,325 --> 00:57:24,765 I'm, I'm gonna do my best 1363 00:57:24,825 --> 00:57:26,525 to prevent anything from happening. 1364 00:57:26,705 --> 00:57:27,705 But, 1365 00:57:28,225 --> 00:57:29,605 - And I'm sure the type of dom 1366 00:57:29,605 --> 00:57:31,685 who would say they can never do no wrong is not just an 1367 00:57:31,885 --> 00:57:33,845 insecure dom, but there is insecurity there if, if you have 1368 00:57:33,845 --> 00:57:38,085 to like, yell that loudly that you don't make mistakes. 1369 00:57:38,235 --> 00:57:40,885 Like that's just projection baby. Yeah. You know? 1370 00:57:44,195 --> 00:57:48,885 - Yeah. . - Yeah. 1371 00:57:50,445 --> 00:57:52,085 I didn't know this would be that ranty. 1372 00:57:53,345 --> 00:57:55,365 Oh, let me add one thing to the free use conversation 1373 00:57:55,365 --> 00:57:57,045 for anybody who's maybe exploring it, 1374 00:57:57,045 --> 00:57:58,245 and I just wanna make sure we said it. 1375 00:57:58,245 --> 00:57:59,445 Mm-Hmm. Evie says it too. 1376 00:57:59,545 --> 00:58:01,005 And I want us to say it. Okay. 1377 00:58:02,065 --> 00:58:04,685 Uh, when, if you start talking about free use with a partner 1378 00:58:04,745 --> 00:58:07,365 and your negotiations, be very clear what you mean by 1379 00:58:07,365 --> 00:58:11,565 that in terms of, are you, is it just you and your dom? 1380 00:58:12,025 --> 00:58:14,565 I'm saying this is a sub. Is it just you, the two of you? 1381 00:58:14,565 --> 00:58:17,245 Mm-Hmm. . And the dom has free use 1382 00:58:17,275 --> 00:58:18,365 between the two of you? 1383 00:58:18,585 --> 00:58:20,965 Or, and I, I've read about it in erotica. 1384 00:58:20,965 --> 00:58:22,045 I didn't think about it in real life. 1385 00:58:22,905 --> 00:58:26,485 Or is it the dom can loan you out 1386 00:58:26,585 --> 00:58:30,805 and put you in situations with friends with not friends, 1387 00:58:30,875 --> 00:58:32,685 just people that they arrange things with. 1388 00:58:32,805 --> 00:58:34,845 Right. Can they share you? 1389 00:58:35,385 --> 00:58:38,765 Um, because that's an another definitely advanced level 1390 00:58:39,085 --> 00:58:41,325 , uh, free use situation there. 1391 00:58:41,325 --> 00:58:43,165 Mm-Hmm. . Ooh. That, that's not beginner. 1392 00:58:43,225 --> 00:58:44,925 That's not intermediate. Y'all . 1393 00:58:45,475 --> 00:58:49,045 That is the PhD level kink experience 1394 00:58:49,185 --> 00:58:51,045 to be shared by a partner. 1395 00:58:51,165 --> 00:58:53,245 Mm-Hmm. . And to have full faith 1396 00:58:53,475 --> 00:58:55,445 that they will listen to you if something goes wrong. 1397 00:58:55,545 --> 00:58:57,205 Mm-Hmm. , they're paying enough attention 1398 00:58:57,425 --> 00:58:59,525 to try to manage well, things go wrong. 1399 00:59:00,105 --> 00:59:03,165 And did they pick safe people for you to be around? 1400 00:59:04,505 --> 00:59:08,045 You could. I mean, I find it really hot. 1401 00:59:08,285 --> 00:59:11,285 Actually, you could share me, but 1402 00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:12,565 before we get to that point, 1403 00:59:12,995 --> 00:59:14,965 this is why we don't do full free use. 1404 00:59:15,205 --> 00:59:16,805 'cause it'll never work. I got too many fucking questions. 1405 00:59:17,085 --> 00:59:19,685 . Okay. You, there are some things JB can just tell 1406 00:59:19,685 --> 00:59:20,765 me to do and I just do. 1407 00:59:20,765 --> 00:59:25,365 Right. Um, and when it comes to, to actual like sex 1408 00:59:25,425 --> 00:59:28,965 and sexual pleasure, free use all the way, baby is fine 1409 00:59:29,115 --> 00:59:31,805 because he's gonna pay attention and listen to my signals 1410 00:59:31,805 --> 00:59:33,165 and listen to me if I tell him something's wrong. 1411 00:59:33,165 --> 00:59:35,245 Mm-Hmm. . But if you just like, come up to me 1412 00:59:35,245 --> 00:59:38,205 and go, I'm gonna need you to do this thing that is so far 1413 00:59:38,205 --> 00:59:39,605 outside of your comfort zone. 1414 00:59:39,885 --> 00:59:43,085 I know that you're peeing a little bit right now just 1415 00:59:43,085 --> 00:59:44,445 thinking about it, that you're that nervous. 1416 00:59:45,185 --> 00:59:47,885 Uh, you know, I, I, I can't do free use and that 1417 00:59:48,005 --> 00:59:49,485 'cause I got too many fucking questions 1418 00:59:49,865 --> 00:59:51,685 and I'm gonna go, well, did you vet them? 1419 00:59:51,745 --> 00:59:52,965 Did you check this? Did I'm 1420 00:59:52,965 --> 00:59:54,045 gonna make you question yourself. 1421 00:59:54,065 --> 00:59:56,245 And are you a sane human being who knows how 1422 00:59:56,245 --> 00:59:57,285 to function in society? 1423 00:59:57,285 --> 00:59:59,645 Because I'm gonna be triple fucking checking. 1424 00:59:59,745 --> 01:00:02,125 That's why I know. I I'm not about that life. 1425 01:00:02,415 --> 01:00:04,205 Could we do a thing where you share me 1426 01:00:04,465 --> 01:00:06,645 and the fantasy is its free use, 1427 01:00:06,745 --> 01:00:10,205 but actually we sat down for four business days 1428 01:00:10,265 --> 01:00:11,925 and hammered out all the details. Yeah. 1429 01:00:12,045 --> 01:00:13,605 - . Yes. Yes. 1430 01:00:15,785 --> 01:00:16,925 - And I think that's another thing 1431 01:00:16,925 --> 01:00:18,925 to remember is you can play with the fantasy of a thing, 1432 01:00:18,945 --> 01:00:22,285 but like, and in the moment the fantasy is it's 1433 01:00:22,435 --> 01:00:23,445 free use completely. 1434 01:00:23,445 --> 01:00:26,885 Right. But in the background where things are real Mm-Hmm. 1435 01:00:26,925 --> 01:00:28,125 , you're like, but actually no, 1436 01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:29,165 we have a, a checklist here. 1437 01:00:29,235 --> 01:00:31,725 Okay. Right. And background checks for these people . 1438 01:00:32,745 --> 01:00:35,085 And also I've a place cameras everywhere 1439 01:00:35,085 --> 01:00:36,605 and I can watch this from like, 1440 01:00:36,935 --> 01:00:38,605 ain't nothing fucked up happening here. 1441 01:00:38,785 --> 01:00:40,165 And still something fucked up will happen. 1442 01:00:40,445 --> 01:00:42,565 'cause that's the nature of life. . 1443 01:00:42,985 --> 01:00:44,565 - Oh wow. - Okay. 1444 01:00:44,635 --> 01:00:46,685 That was the thing when I was looking at this definition 1445 01:00:46,685 --> 01:00:49,325 of free use of, you know, the sub belongs to the dom, 1446 01:00:49,325 --> 01:00:51,525 they can do whatever they want, blah, blah, blah, blah. 1447 01:00:51,525 --> 01:00:52,565 But their sub yada yada. 1448 01:00:52,605 --> 01:00:57,285 I was like, I mean, part of me is like, I, I'm, 1449 01:00:57,565 --> 01:00:59,645 I think I'd be okay with some level of that 1450 01:00:59,645 --> 01:01:00,845 beyond the way we use for use. 1451 01:01:01,225 --> 01:01:02,925 But then I'm like, but I just, I got too much 1452 01:01:02,925 --> 01:01:03,965 to say about shit. 1453 01:01:04,595 --> 01:01:07,125 Like , I got too many questions. 1454 01:01:07,565 --> 01:01:08,725 I got too many opinions. 1455 01:01:09,625 --> 01:01:12,965 As I stated earlier, I got a lot of fucking limits. , 1456 01:01:13,445 --> 01:01:15,085 - just, huh. 1457 01:01:17,585 --> 01:01:18,725 - Anyway, I didn't, 1458 01:01:18,925 --> 01:01:21,605 I did not know I would find this, this one to be really 1459 01:01:21,775 --> 01:01:22,885 - Windy. I didn't need that. I didn't need 1460 01:01:22,885 --> 01:01:23,885 - That. 1461 01:01:23,885 --> 01:01:24,605 I should have known when I started off with 1462 01:01:24,605 --> 01:01:25,765 that whole irrevocable 1463 01:01:26,515 --> 01:01:27,805 consent thing. Mm-Hmm. . 1464 01:01:27,905 --> 01:01:31,445 - Mm-Hmm . - When it just, the idea of, 1465 01:01:31,445 --> 01:01:33,565 it's something about it just, mm. 1466 01:01:33,965 --> 01:01:37,005 I, all of this, I can admit that there are people out there 1467 01:01:37,545 --> 01:01:39,605 who do it at the highest level possible 1468 01:01:39,955 --> 01:01:42,045 with the least amount of Yeah. 1469 01:01:42,465 --> 01:01:43,685 Safety protocols, whatever. 1470 01:01:43,705 --> 01:01:45,485 And they probably do it fine, but I still think they're 1471 01:01:45,485 --> 01:01:46,765 accept the exception of the rule. 1472 01:01:46,765 --> 01:01:48,685 - Here's, here's the thing. Yeah. It may be the deception 1473 01:01:48,715 --> 01:01:50,525 rule and but do you think, 1474 01:01:51,305 --> 01:01:53,245 and to me it sounds 1475 01:01:55,485 --> 01:01:58,845 a little too cut and dry to where, you know, you say, okay, 1476 01:01:59,345 --> 01:02:00,965 you know, once consent is withdrawn, 1477 01:02:01,185 --> 01:02:02,445 the relationship is over. 1478 01:02:03,705 --> 01:02:08,125 But, um, could that be in a sense 1479 01:02:08,955 --> 01:02:13,035 what keeps both in check 1480 01:02:13,665 --> 01:02:16,995 knowing that at any time if consent is broken, 1481 01:02:17,825 --> 01:02:18,875 this ends, it's 1482 01:02:18,875 --> 01:02:19,875 - Done, it's over. 1483 01:02:20,205 --> 01:02:22,765 I can only imagine that being a healthy thing. 1484 01:02:22,945 --> 01:02:26,285 If there are release valves built in of 1485 01:02:26,825 --> 01:02:29,405 I'm not withdrawing consent, but we need to shift. 1486 01:02:29,905 --> 01:02:33,565 Here's information you need to know to make wiser decisions. 1487 01:02:33,685 --> 01:02:35,765 I need you to know that I have broken my leg. 1488 01:02:35,905 --> 01:02:37,685 So crawling a happening Right. 1489 01:02:38,005 --> 01:02:39,885 like you, I think you need to know 1490 01:02:40,035 --> 01:02:42,965 that the dom is not a petulant toddler 1491 01:02:43,665 --> 01:02:45,925 who cannot fathom not getting their way. 1492 01:02:46,215 --> 01:02:48,725 Right. They are responsible. Mm-Hmm. 1493 01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:51,325 experienced dom. Right. 1494 01:02:52,065 --> 01:02:55,005 Who in my opinion, I'm not saying love, 1495 01:02:55,065 --> 01:02:57,005 I'm not saying romantic anything, 1496 01:02:57,625 --> 01:03:00,125 but probably cares more about their submissive 1497 01:03:00,125 --> 01:03:01,245 than they care about themselves. 1498 01:03:01,245 --> 01:03:04,525 Because the way you prevent somebody from not always, 1499 01:03:04,765 --> 01:03:07,205 'cause like, let me say I've said 10 million times shit 1500 01:03:07,205 --> 01:03:09,445 happens that you can't plan for the cramp, 1501 01:03:09,905 --> 01:03:11,405 the trigger, the, this, the that. 1502 01:03:11,405 --> 01:03:12,605 Like, that's not a sign 1503 01:03:12,605 --> 01:03:14,005 that anybody's done anything wrong 1504 01:03:14,115 --> 01:03:15,285 when something like that happens. 1505 01:03:15,345 --> 01:03:18,525 Mm-Hmm. . But in order to, in my opinion, 1506 01:03:18,625 --> 01:03:21,725 to agree to, the only way this ends is you 1507 01:03:21,885 --> 01:03:23,045 withdraw consent and everything's over. 1508 01:03:23,045 --> 01:03:27,565 Mm-Hmm. is, if there are things in place 1509 01:03:28,745 --> 01:03:31,645 to, you've got really responsible, experienced kinks. 1510 01:03:31,645 --> 01:03:33,965 But especially that dom, I think that dom needs 1511 01:03:33,965 --> 01:03:36,445 to care more about their submissive partner than they care 1512 01:03:36,445 --> 01:03:37,685 about their own wants and needs 1513 01:03:38,515 --> 01:03:41,125 many healthy at all levels of dominance. 1514 01:03:41,185 --> 01:03:42,725 Not even to that extent. Mm-Hmm. 1515 01:03:42,765 --> 01:03:44,845 , there are plenty of doms like that. 1516 01:03:44,845 --> 01:03:47,005 That's not an unusual characteristic. 1517 01:03:47,185 --> 01:03:49,165 But I think it, it's like, it's gotta be part 1518 01:03:49,165 --> 01:03:51,765 of the vetting process of are we really fucking doing this? 1519 01:03:52,245 --> 01:03:55,045 'cause if you as a submissive have any sliver of doubt 1520 01:03:55,515 --> 01:03:58,925 that this partner might care more about their pleasure than 1521 01:03:58,925 --> 01:04:00,325 they care about your health and safety. 1522 01:04:00,325 --> 01:04:02,965 Mm-Hmm. don't, don't. Yeah. 1523 01:04:03,245 --> 01:04:07,085 'cause you'll either be in a situation where you're torn 1524 01:04:07,085 --> 01:04:10,005 between your own and people are in non kink situations, 1525 01:04:10,275 --> 01:04:12,125 your own safety and the relationship. 1526 01:04:12,705 --> 01:04:15,605 And it's too, it's too easy for some people to go, 1527 01:04:16,485 --> 01:04:18,765 I am being mistreated and I am miserable, 1528 01:04:19,345 --> 01:04:22,605 but I don't wanna leave this situation and I don't Mm-Hmm. 1529 01:04:22,645 --> 01:04:24,925 mean specifically abusive, unsafe situations. 1530 01:04:24,925 --> 01:04:26,605 Yeah. I think that's a whole other animal. 1531 01:04:26,865 --> 01:04:29,805 But I could see somebody going, this isn't, 1532 01:04:29,805 --> 01:04:31,245 this isn't really what I want anymore. 1533 01:04:31,635 --> 01:04:33,205 This isn't working for me. Mm-Hmm. 1534 01:04:33,245 --> 01:04:35,365 , I don't really wanna do this anymore, 1535 01:04:35,665 --> 01:04:37,565 but I don't wanna not be with this person. 1536 01:04:37,945 --> 01:04:41,005 And they're literally faced with, if I withdraw my consent, 1537 01:04:41,315 --> 01:04:44,165 this is over, you know, straight to jail. 1538 01:04:44,225 --> 01:04:46,325 Do not pass, go. Do not collect $200. Do not. Yeah. 1539 01:04:46,345 --> 01:04:48,405 And I, I guess part of it for, 1540 01:04:48,405 --> 01:04:49,485 and it's a personal thing, 1541 01:04:50,125 --> 01:04:52,485 I don't deal in absolutes like that. 1542 01:04:52,945 --> 01:04:56,405 My brain is nothing but nuance. Okay. 1543 01:04:56,805 --> 01:04:58,325 I don't even know how to answer a yes 1544 01:04:58,325 --> 01:04:59,845 or no question that my child asks. 1545 01:04:59,945 --> 01:05:01,925 If I can think of any extenuating circumstance 1546 01:05:02,095 --> 01:05:04,645 where the answer might be maybe, or I don't know. 1547 01:05:04,645 --> 01:05:07,205 Yeah. Like I, there's too much fucking nuance. 1548 01:05:07,205 --> 01:05:09,245 There's too much. Well, it depends. 1549 01:05:09,715 --> 01:05:12,165 Well it, but in this situ, like , 1550 01:05:12,585 --> 01:05:14,845 and I think that's what I don't like about something like 1551 01:05:14,845 --> 01:05:16,605 irrevocable consent and the mm-Hmm. 1552 01:05:16,645 --> 01:05:18,085 parts of parts of 1553 01:05:18,665 --> 01:05:20,805 top level blanket consent and top level. 1554 01:05:20,805 --> 01:05:23,725 When I say top level, I mean you are going all fucking in on 1555 01:05:23,725 --> 01:05:25,885 blanket consent and for you, and not just bits and pieces. 1556 01:05:25,885 --> 01:05:28,285 Right. I don't like anything 1557 01:05:28,285 --> 01:05:30,165 that doesn't leave room for nuance. 1558 01:05:30,385 --> 01:05:33,245 So the way we talk about these things at the ex, 1559 01:05:33,955 --> 01:05:36,245 when I say extreme, I don't mean extreme in a negative way, 1560 01:05:36,245 --> 01:05:40,565 but like at the end of the spectrum where there's no asking, 1561 01:05:40,595 --> 01:05:43,125 there's total, you know, Dom has total control 1562 01:05:43,125 --> 01:05:44,885 and doesn't even have to talk to their partner 1563 01:05:44,945 --> 01:05:46,005 before they make a decision. 1564 01:05:46,005 --> 01:05:48,045 Right. At that level. 1565 01:05:49,235 --> 01:05:51,715 I don't like, I don't like the absolutes in the way we talk 1566 01:05:51,715 --> 01:05:54,355 about that level because I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1567 01:05:54,355 --> 01:05:56,115 But, but where's the emergency break? 1568 01:05:57,145 --> 01:05:59,115 Where's the break glass in emergency? 1569 01:05:59,115 --> 01:06:01,555 Where's my, my fire extinguisher? Mm-Hmm. . 1570 01:06:01,785 --> 01:06:04,395 What, where, where is the, the wiggle room? 1571 01:06:04,535 --> 01:06:08,395 And it is there, I have no doubt it exists in the healthiest 1572 01:06:08,395 --> 01:06:11,435 of relationships that practice these kinds of dynamics, 1573 01:06:11,775 --> 01:06:12,955 but we don't talk about it. 1574 01:06:13,495 --> 01:06:15,555 And so then the person who's starting to explore it, 1575 01:06:16,015 --> 01:06:17,075 that's not what they're thinking about. 1576 01:06:17,135 --> 01:06:18,235 Or they are thinking about it 1577 01:06:18,235 --> 01:06:20,195 and they're like, oh, well I clearly can't do free use 1578 01:06:20,195 --> 01:06:23,235 because here's my list of things I would need. 1579 01:06:24,335 --> 01:06:26,075 And that's not necessarily true. Mm-Hmm. . 1580 01:06:26,735 --> 01:06:28,515 That's all I'm saying. And there I went 1581 01:06:28,535 --> 01:06:29,875 on another five minute rant. You 1582 01:06:29,875 --> 01:06:31,435 - Did. You're welcome. 1583 01:06:32,025 --> 01:06:33,395 - Yeah. It's your, that one's your fault. 1584 01:06:33,505 --> 01:06:34,675 That one's your fault. . 1585 01:06:34,975 --> 01:06:37,955 So, uh, did we, did we get anything out 1586 01:06:37,955 --> 01:06:41,035 of this episode about blanket consent and for use? 1587 01:06:41,085 --> 01:06:44,355 Other than that, uh, Kayla is sometimes snotty and gassy. 1588 01:06:44,675 --> 01:06:45,675 I don't know. I don't know. 1589 01:06:46,335 --> 01:06:49,635 And also I worry too, a lot, too much, I don't know, 1590 01:06:50,675 --> 01:06:53,995 probably too much, but maybe not, uh, 1591 01:06:55,295 --> 01:06:57,075 and let me say at the end here, 1592 01:06:57,185 --> 01:06:58,835 like I said in the beginning, Mm-Hmm. 1593 01:06:58,875 --> 01:06:59,635 , you can define these 1594 01:06:59,635 --> 01:07:01,235 terms any way that suits you. 1595 01:07:01,655 --> 01:07:03,755 If you are following these practices 1596 01:07:03,755 --> 01:07:04,995 and you're doing these things and you're dynamic, 1597 01:07:05,175 --> 01:07:06,715 I'm not telling you you shouldn't be doing them. 1598 01:07:06,955 --> 01:07:09,235 I will say, Hey, what, what's your safety valve? 1599 01:07:09,235 --> 01:07:10,835 Like, what, what's your emergency 1600 01:07:10,835 --> 01:07:11,915 - Thing? I know. Like, how do you 1601 01:07:11,915 --> 01:07:12,915 - Handle that? 1602 01:07:12,915 --> 01:07:13,835 - It, it's not for everyone, but, 1603 01:07:14,215 --> 01:07:15,215 - You know, but Right. 1604 01:07:15,215 --> 01:07:16,955 But I would also never say, nobody can ever do that. 1605 01:07:16,985 --> 01:07:18,435 Like, I don't know your fucking life. 1606 01:07:18,545 --> 01:07:20,915 Like, do what you think will work for you. Mm-Hmm. 1607 01:07:20,955 --> 01:07:22,115 . And just remember, it's a grand experiment. 1608 01:07:22,115 --> 01:07:24,835 So if it doesn't work for you, you can like change decisions 1609 01:07:24,855 --> 01:07:26,515 and paths and do something different. 1610 01:07:26,735 --> 01:07:29,675 But like, I don't wanna talk about these things in absolutes 1611 01:07:29,675 --> 01:07:31,475 because that's, it's not real life. 1612 01:07:32,665 --> 01:07:37,635 - True. True. - And so I'm just asking y'all 1613 01:07:38,855 --> 01:07:42,075 to worry at like 10% of my level 1614 01:07:42,135 --> 01:07:43,355 and I think the world would be safer. 1615 01:07:43,475 --> 01:07:44,555 I think I worry way too much. 1616 01:07:44,555 --> 01:07:46,635 Nobody should worry at my a hundred percent. No, no, no. 1617 01:07:46,635 --> 01:07:48,995 Don't do that. . But it was just 10% 1618 01:07:49,095 --> 01:07:50,355 of this level of worry. 1619 01:07:50,555 --> 01:07:52,075 I think people would be safer. . Yeah. 1620 01:07:52,815 --> 01:07:54,395 - Oh goodness. Okay. Alright. 1621 01:07:55,105 --> 01:07:57,715 - Okay. Alright. Can I keep going and be ridiculous? 1622 01:07:57,895 --> 01:07:59,635 Of course you can. Of course I can. But should we stop? 1623 01:08:00,555 --> 01:08:03,155 - Probably Yes. - So we're gonna have a bonus section. 1624 01:08:03,945 --> 01:08:05,315 Hopefully I don't rant through that. 1625 01:08:05,315 --> 01:08:06,795 My throat's starting to hurt. The coffee's gone. 1626 01:08:06,835 --> 01:08:08,235 I don't know what's gonna happen now. Uhoh. 1627 01:08:08,655 --> 01:08:12,075 Um, and our chat and live chat disconnected. 1628 01:08:12,195 --> 01:08:13,475 I don't know what happened there. Uhoh. 1629 01:08:13,775 --> 01:08:17,245 Um, so yeah, we'll go into a bonus section now. Okay. 1630 01:08:17,425 --> 01:08:19,365 - So are we good? - I don't know. 1631 01:08:21,475 --> 01:08:23,765 - Keep it, keep kinky y'all - And we'll see you next week. 1632 01:08:37,185 --> 01:08:40,535 - Yes, baby girl. - Can we talk to the crickets? 1633 01:08:44,115 --> 01:08:47,155 - Hmm hmm. 1634 01:08:53,085 --> 01:08:53,935 Okay, go ahead. 1635 01:08:54,075 --> 01:08:55,375 - It would be easier if I just got your, 1636 01:08:55,755 --> 01:08:57,935 if we just did blanket consent over this 1637 01:08:57,935 --> 01:08:59,655 and it was just understood. No. 1638 01:08:59,835 --> 01:09:00,935 - Or you gimme free 1639 01:09:00,995 --> 01:09:01,995 - Use No. 1640 01:09:01,995 --> 01:09:05,255 Of the bonus section. No. To do with as I will. No . 1641 01:09:05,525 --> 01:09:09,255 - Nope. Not happening kid. I had to try not happening. 1642 01:09:09,535 --> 01:09:10,535 I had to try. 1643 01:09:15,295 --> 01:09:17,815 - I had to try. Okay, 1644 01:09:17,835 --> 01:09:21,335 so bonus section is your dog outside? 1645 01:09:21,675 --> 01:09:24,095 Yes. I hear tippy taps with little, little fetes 1646 01:09:24,535 --> 01:09:25,855 - Probably in, she's laying in the rock 1647 01:09:25,855 --> 01:09:27,175 rocks probably laying in the rocks. Rocks 1648 01:09:27,175 --> 01:09:28,175 - The sunning herself. 1649 01:09:28,175 --> 01:09:28,975 Mm-Hmm. , uh, 1650 01:09:28,975 --> 01:09:30,815 it's probably the warmest area out 1651 01:09:30,815 --> 01:09:32,575 there, quite frankly, right? Um, 1652 01:09:32,925 --> 01:09:35,135 - Between the rocks and the wall of the house. Yeah. The 1653 01:09:35,135 --> 01:09:36,135 - Best. 1654 01:09:36,135 --> 01:09:37,975 And where the sun is like, oh, nope. There she is a wooing. 1655 01:09:38,915 --> 01:09:40,255 Oh, I was gonna ask you a question. 1656 01:09:40,255 --> 01:09:42,895 And now you're not near a microphone, so I can't ask. 1657 01:09:43,115 --> 01:09:44,335 It was not an important question. 1658 01:09:44,435 --> 01:09:49,255 It was a, uh, time filler conversation, filler question. 1659 01:09:49,835 --> 01:09:51,015 But I still wanna ask it 1660 01:09:51,925 --> 01:09:54,375 because I know I do most of the talking around here. 1661 01:09:54,375 --> 01:09:56,455 Okay. And I like to give you opportunities to speak, 1662 01:09:56,755 --> 01:09:58,735 - Ask away what - You got for the bonus section. 1663 01:09:59,535 --> 01:10:02,735 - , - I amuse me, you 1664 01:10:02,735 --> 01:10:04,815 - Go through all that shit to ask me 1665 01:10:05,555 --> 01:10:07,055 if you can talk to the crickets. 1666 01:10:07,595 --> 01:10:09,095 And then all you do is turn around 1667 01:10:09,095 --> 01:10:11,015 and say, well, what have you got ? 1668 01:10:12,175 --> 01:10:14,055 - Actually, if you paid close attention, I said, 1669 01:10:14,155 --> 01:10:15,495 can we talk to the crickets? 1670 01:10:15,495 --> 01:10:18,295 That's true. So meaner, meaner, . 1671 01:10:20,035 --> 01:10:24,135 - Um, I've just been busy, busy 1672 01:10:24,135 --> 01:10:25,935 with the shop trying to restock. 1673 01:10:26,255 --> 01:10:27,255 - I know. I've been helping you 1674 01:10:27,395 --> 01:10:28,455 - And you have and, 1675 01:10:28,555 --> 01:10:31,535 and restocking has been going very well because of 1676 01:10:31,535 --> 01:10:32,535 - That. 1677 01:10:32,535 --> 01:10:32,975 Yes. But I'm impatient. I wanted 1678 01:10:32,975 --> 01:10:34,335 to go faster, but I know I can't. 1679 01:10:34,455 --> 01:10:36,255 'cause if, if I burn you out in January, 1680 01:10:36,835 --> 01:10:37,975 man, it's a long year 1681 01:10:38,255 --> 01:10:39,255 - . 1682 01:10:39,255 --> 01:10:39,735 Right? Thank you very much. 1683 01:10:42,315 --> 01:10:46,735 I'm, I'm glad you, uh, don't wanna break your toys. 1684 01:10:48,295 --> 01:10:51,055 - . No. Okay. You're not my toy . 1685 01:10:51,435 --> 01:10:54,535 I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm your toy. No. 1686 01:10:55,255 --> 01:10:57,375 . No, 1687 01:10:58,475 --> 01:10:59,975 - No, - No. 1688 01:11:01,445 --> 01:11:05,055 - Then, uh, okay, then then you, 1689 01:11:05,155 --> 01:11:07,255 you don't wanna break your toy keeper. 1690 01:11:09,215 --> 01:11:11,865 - Okay. Maybe a little bit better 1691 01:11:12,425 --> 01:11:14,085 - - Maybe. 1692 01:11:15,565 --> 01:11:19,445 - Hmm. - So yeah, you've been working. Mm-Hmm. 1693 01:11:19,485 --> 01:11:21,165 I've been working. 1694 01:11:23,015 --> 01:11:25,045 We've been getting stuffed together. Yeah. 1695 01:11:25,145 --> 01:11:27,165 Now I will say the, uh, the downside 1696 01:11:27,265 --> 01:11:29,405 to actually taking the full two weeks off of our break 1697 01:11:29,585 --> 01:11:31,725 and not planning out the next year during 1698 01:11:31,805 --> 01:11:35,485 that time is I have been racing to get it all done. 1699 01:11:35,725 --> 01:11:39,565 . And it's why the Etsy sale did not start until 1700 01:11:40,765 --> 01:11:42,485 I think January 8th is when , 1701 01:11:42,605 --> 01:11:45,325 I had it go live is when I had the idea for it. And I'm 1702 01:11:45,325 --> 01:11:46,365 - Better late than never. Right. 1703 01:11:46,365 --> 01:11:48,765 - And I'm getting the Patreon membership drive together, 1704 01:11:48,765 --> 01:11:49,925 which we'll talk about next week. 1705 01:11:49,945 --> 01:11:52,965 Mm-Hmm. . Um, and it's like bits and pieces 1706 01:11:53,105 --> 01:11:55,165 and it seems like to never be like, 1707 01:11:55,205 --> 01:11:56,445 I can't seem to just get it all 1708 01:11:56,605 --> 01:11:57,765 together. completely. 1709 01:11:57,875 --> 01:11:59,005 - Yeah. And 1710 01:11:59,185 --> 01:12:00,185 - Mm-Hmm. 1711 01:12:00,185 --> 01:12:01,725 . Yeah. So yeah, we've been busy. 1712 01:12:01,725 --> 01:12:02,925 Which is not a bad thing. 1713 01:12:03,585 --> 01:12:08,195 Um, yeah. 1714 01:12:08,655 --> 01:12:10,515 - Mm-Hmm. - . But other than 1715 01:12:10,515 --> 01:12:11,555 that, I ain't, I ain't got nothing. 1716 01:12:12,025 --> 01:12:15,595 - Yeah. No. I've been, um, been, uh, busy, like I say. 1717 01:12:16,055 --> 01:12:20,395 And I've also been, when I can plopping in front of the tv. 1718 01:12:20,855 --> 01:12:21,755 - Yes. You've been doing a much 1719 01:12:21,755 --> 01:12:22,835 better job of that than I have. 1720 01:12:23,415 --> 01:12:27,875 - You know? Um, been wa binge watching some 1721 01:12:28,655 --> 01:12:30,475 new sci sci-fi ish movies 1722 01:12:30,545 --> 01:12:32,715 that have dropped on Netflix and Mm-Hmm. 1723 01:12:32,795 --> 01:12:34,795 and whatnot. Mm-Hmm. 1724 01:12:34,835 --> 01:12:39,435 and, uh, what else? 1725 01:12:39,435 --> 01:12:41,195 Spinning. Spinning my records 1726 01:12:41,495 --> 01:12:43,475 and listening to my records sometimes at night 1727 01:12:43,575 --> 01:12:45,755 and just chilling out some music. 1728 01:12:46,555 --> 01:12:49,195 Although I have determined I need a new stylist. for 1729 01:12:49,195 --> 01:12:50,195 - The fucker player. 1730 01:12:50,195 --> 01:12:50,555 Yeah. We talked about that last, 1731 01:12:50,555 --> 01:12:51,635 did we talk about that last week? I 1732 01:12:51,635 --> 01:12:52,635 - Can't remember last week. 1733 01:12:52,635 --> 01:12:53,555 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep. 1734 01:12:54,255 --> 01:12:57,515 So, um, trying to hold out to next month 1735 01:12:57,515 --> 01:12:58,595 that I can get a new stylist. 1736 01:12:59,245 --> 01:13:03,155 Oddly enough, um, the turntable I have, 1737 01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:06,835 even though it was made in 1978, it's, 1738 01:13:06,865 --> 01:13:07,865 - It's older than I am. 1739 01:13:07,895 --> 01:13:11,235 - It, it's still popular enough 1740 01:13:11,235 --> 01:13:13,675 that they still make mm-Hmm. 1741 01:13:13,715 --> 01:13:15,995 replacement stylus for the original cartridge. 1742 01:13:16,055 --> 01:13:18,635 Mm-Hmm. . I find that mind boggling. 1743 01:13:19,495 --> 01:13:22,475 Now you cannot get, as far as I can tell, 1744 01:13:22,865 --> 01:13:27,555 I've not been able, you cannot get a cartridge for it. 1745 01:13:27,575 --> 01:13:29,235 It would have to be a replacement. 1746 01:13:29,815 --> 01:13:30,515 - And what's the 1747 01:13:30,515 --> 01:13:32,195 cartridge? I don't know enough about this stuff. 1748 01:13:32,375 --> 01:13:36,395 - Um, the cartridge is what the needle goes into. Okay. 1749 01:13:36,455 --> 01:13:38,995 And then it takes all those stuff 1750 01:13:38,995 --> 01:13:40,275 that the needle's picking up 1751 01:13:40,375 --> 01:13:43,555 and translates it into what will become music. 1752 01:13:44,575 --> 01:13:47,275 - Oh, okay. Okay. 1753 01:13:49,015 --> 01:13:51,315 Oh, see, learn, learn new things every day. 1754 01:13:51,315 --> 01:13:52,955 - Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . So yeah. 1755 01:13:52,985 --> 01:13:55,795 Next, next month, my, uh, goal is to get new stylists 1756 01:13:56,785 --> 01:13:59,075 forward and, and get that, that going. 1757 01:13:59,695 --> 01:14:03,195 Um, it's the original stylus. . Yeah. 1758 01:14:03,355 --> 01:14:04,395 - I think you said that last week. 1759 01:14:04,395 --> 01:14:05,275 - Yeah, I was, yeah, I was 1760 01:14:05,275 --> 01:14:06,275 when I was telling you about that. 1761 01:14:06,385 --> 01:14:10,635 Yeah. So, um, I I think it's well overdue 1762 01:14:10,635 --> 01:14:11,845 to be replaced at this 1763 01:14:11,845 --> 01:14:12,845 - Point. 1764 01:14:12,845 --> 01:14:13,605 Yeah. I think, uh, , 1765 01:14:14,025 --> 01:14:15,725 the money's has been gotten the 1766 01:14:15,725 --> 01:14:16,805 worth has been gotten out of that. 1767 01:14:17,005 --> 01:14:18,885 I think it's, it's done its job. Mm-Hmm. . 1768 01:14:18,885 --> 01:14:20,445 Mm-Hmm. . It's time to let it rest. 1769 01:14:20,665 --> 01:14:23,005 At least that part. That piece. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yep, 1770 01:14:23,145 --> 01:14:24,145 - Yep, yep. 1771 01:14:24,435 --> 01:14:26,325 - Yeah. Uh, I've been fighting 1772 01:14:26,325 --> 01:14:27,925 with insurance companies and doctor's offices. 1773 01:14:27,985 --> 01:14:29,005 That's been my life. 1774 01:14:29,005 --> 01:14:30,325 - You have been, you have been. 1775 01:14:30,915 --> 01:14:33,605 - I've mo you know, I say that I'm working a lot and busy 1776 01:14:33,665 --> 01:14:37,085 and I am, but it's like I'm doing half days, like half day, 1777 01:14:37,235 --> 01:14:40,245 half the day recently has been doctor's appointments 1778 01:14:40,245 --> 01:14:42,125 with the kid, school stuff with the kid, 1779 01:14:43,205 --> 01:14:44,365 whatever the kid needs, which is fine. 1780 01:14:44,825 --> 01:14:46,485 And then it's like, but I got a fit a, 1781 01:14:46,725 --> 01:14:49,445 a full-time plus job around it. 1782 01:14:49,725 --> 01:14:51,165 'cause when you work for yourself is, 1783 01:14:51,165 --> 01:14:53,245 it's not 40 hours a week, y'all . 1784 01:14:53,715 --> 01:14:55,565 It's 80 to a hundred easily. Yeah. 1785 01:14:55,635 --> 01:14:59,645 Like, I consider it a good week if we're like 50, 60 hours. 1786 01:14:59,865 --> 01:15:01,725 I'm like, okay, this is a good week . 1787 01:15:02,075 --> 01:15:04,205 This is a relaxing week . 1788 01:15:04,225 --> 01:15:08,525 Um, but yeah, so that's been my life. 1789 01:15:08,725 --> 01:15:12,525 I have, I am currently in not a book hangover, 1790 01:15:12,845 --> 01:15:14,445 a book series hangover. 1791 01:15:14,465 --> 01:15:18,125 Mm. So, uh, my memory is awful 1792 01:15:18,305 --> 01:15:19,645 for the stuff I read. 1793 01:15:19,865 --> 01:15:24,765 So can I tell you the name of the series? No, I cannot. 1794 01:15:25,085 --> 01:15:29,045 the author is LI think LJ Andrews, 1795 01:15:29,165 --> 01:15:30,245 I think is their last name. 1796 01:15:30,825 --> 01:15:32,525 Uh, I read the first three books 1797 01:15:32,525 --> 01:15:35,005 of the series is nine books in Total Read. 1798 01:15:35,005 --> 01:15:36,365 The first three loved Them, 1799 01:15:36,435 --> 01:15:38,645 then promptly forgot every detail of them. 1800 01:15:38,945 --> 01:15:40,525 Oh my gosh. Because that's how I am when I read. 1801 01:15:40,555 --> 01:15:44,165 Like I, if I like a book, I liked it 1802 01:15:44,165 --> 01:15:45,325 for certain things that happened. 1803 01:15:45,405 --> 01:15:46,645 I mostly liked it for the vibe, 1804 01:15:46,705 --> 01:15:49,365 but once I'm done with it, it's outta sight outta mind. 1805 01:15:50,225 --> 01:15:52,645 So I came back around through Kindle Unlimited 1806 01:15:52,785 --> 01:15:53,885 and saw that the rest 1807 01:15:53,905 --> 01:15:56,325 of the series was also part of Kindle Unlimited. 1808 01:15:56,325 --> 01:15:58,685 And I borrowed the rest of the books and those six books. 1809 01:15:58,845 --> 01:16:01,645 'cause I was afraid I would finish their set in trilogy. 1810 01:16:01,665 --> 01:16:04,725 So you three at a time is a complete story, 1811 01:16:04,725 --> 01:16:06,085 but they all build on one another. 1812 01:16:06,985 --> 01:16:09,285 And I was afraid that if I read the next three 1813 01:16:09,425 --> 01:16:12,405 and Wandered off, come back to the last three, 1814 01:16:12,485 --> 01:16:14,165 I wouldn't remember anything again. 1815 01:16:15,165 --> 01:16:16,565 'cause it took me forever. I was like halfway 1816 01:16:16,565 --> 01:16:19,485 through the second book in the second trilogy before I went. 1817 01:16:19,485 --> 01:16:21,165 Oh, that's right. I remember what happened in 1818 01:16:21,165 --> 01:16:22,885 that first set of three books. 1819 01:16:23,185 --> 01:16:25,965 Anyway, so I read the six books in a row back 1820 01:16:25,985 --> 01:16:28,405 to fucking back all the way through . 1821 01:16:29,185 --> 01:16:32,485 And it was a satisfying end to the whole series. 1822 01:16:32,485 --> 01:16:35,365 There's an offshoot of the series that I'm gonna read later. 1823 01:16:35,965 --> 01:16:37,605 I need a break from this, this universe. 1824 01:16:37,865 --> 01:16:39,925 But I finished the book 1825 01:16:40,345 --> 01:16:43,645 and I just like sat there staring into the middle distance 1826 01:16:43,885 --> 01:16:45,645 for a few minutes. 1827 01:16:45,755 --> 01:16:50,485 Like, well, that, that's done. Uh, what day is it? ? 1828 01:16:51,035 --> 01:16:55,895 What reality am I in? Um, the Broken Kingdoms. 1829 01:16:55,895 --> 01:16:58,215 Thank you. Silent Wing. Thank you. It's the Broken Kingdoms. 1830 01:16:58,835 --> 01:17:02,935 Um, yeah, it's good. The, there's not a lot. 1831 01:17:03,085 --> 01:17:06,135 It's is it romance? Is it fantasy? 1832 01:17:06,365 --> 01:17:08,095 It's actually a pretty good combo of the two 1833 01:17:08,095 --> 01:17:12,485 because the overarching theme is these 1834 01:17:12,515 --> 01:17:15,885 different, they're faded partnerships and faded queens. 1835 01:17:15,905 --> 01:17:17,645 And the queens have to find the love of their life 1836 01:17:17,905 --> 01:17:19,805 so they can become even more powerful. 1837 01:17:20,285 --> 01:17:22,605 'cause you're powerful two versus one blah. 1838 01:17:22,705 --> 01:17:23,885 And then the kingdoms that were 1839 01:17:23,885 --> 01:17:25,005 broken have to not be broken. 1840 01:17:25,155 --> 01:17:26,245 I'll tell you no more than that 1841 01:17:26,245 --> 01:17:27,925 because that would get into spoilers. 1842 01:17:28,265 --> 01:17:32,925 So it is romance, but it's also a fantasy world of 1843 01:17:33,665 --> 01:17:35,125 the Faye and this and that. 1844 01:17:35,125 --> 01:17:36,765 And there's lots of that and magic 1845 01:17:36,905 --> 01:17:38,045 and all kinds of stuff like that. 1846 01:17:38,625 --> 01:17:42,725 Um, there's not as much sex 1847 01:17:42,825 --> 01:17:44,525 as I like in my romance novels, 1848 01:17:45,345 --> 01:17:50,125 but when it was there, it was not, not hot. 1849 01:17:50,865 --> 01:17:55,285 It wasn't as, as like, I'm an erotic erotica girl. 1850 01:17:55,315 --> 01:17:59,485 Like please say cock and cunt and like say the words. Right. 1851 01:17:59,645 --> 01:18:01,205 , it was not that. So I was like, me, 1852 01:18:01,275 --> 01:18:04,085 like there were a lot of teasing her entrance. 1853 01:18:04,185 --> 01:18:07,485 And I'm like, well, I know about orifices in the body. 1854 01:18:07,485 --> 01:18:08,845 Which, which one are you talking about? 1855 01:18:09,125 --> 01:18:11,365 or finding her center? 1856 01:18:11,865 --> 01:18:13,685 And she exploded and pleasure. 1857 01:18:13,705 --> 01:18:15,285 I'm like, tell me you rubbed her clit 1858 01:18:15,285 --> 01:18:16,885 and she came all over his cock. 1859 01:18:17,025 --> 01:18:20,525 Please. I think I need . I need a palate cleanser. 1860 01:18:20,525 --> 01:18:23,765 At some point I need to like, just go read like filth. 1861 01:18:23,835 --> 01:18:26,245 - Well know why, you know why they can't write it like that? 1862 01:18:26,425 --> 01:18:28,925 Mm. Because the, the, the clit is mythical. 1863 01:18:28,945 --> 01:18:29,965 No one, no man can lie. 1864 01:18:29,965 --> 01:18:31,885 - Stop it, . It's right. 1865 01:18:32,025 --> 01:18:34,725 And then it's in the right place for this fantasy world. 1866 01:18:37,145 --> 01:18:41,405 So Yeah. 1867 01:18:42,305 --> 01:18:45,205 So yeah. I'm, I'm now finishing, uh, 1868 01:18:45,445 --> 01:18:47,725 a series I started in Kind Limited as well. 1869 01:18:47,865 --> 01:18:49,845 Mm-Hmm. . That's historical romance. 1870 01:18:50,145 --> 01:18:52,845 It also is not quite explicit enough, 1871 01:18:53,065 --> 01:18:54,245 but the stories are usually good. 1872 01:18:54,845 --> 01:18:56,165 I, I am this type of person. 1873 01:18:56,275 --> 01:18:59,885 It's why I wish I read more Standalones. Mm-Hmm. 1874 01:18:59,925 --> 01:19:01,405 . And I tend not to, I tend to, 1875 01:19:01,925 --> 01:19:03,685 'cause series are a lot more popular these days 1876 01:19:03,715 --> 01:19:05,485 than probably ever before. 1877 01:19:05,825 --> 01:19:10,365 But if I start a series, I mostly need to keep going 1878 01:19:10,455 --> 01:19:11,565 until I'm done. 1879 01:19:12,025 --> 01:19:13,645 But that can be very overwhelming to me. 1880 01:19:13,645 --> 01:19:16,165 So what'll happen is I'll flit around and I'll start series 1881 01:19:16,265 --> 01:19:19,325 and go, okay, the, as long as there's no, um, um, 1882 01:19:19,715 --> 01:19:23,565 cliffhanger, I might start one and go, I'll come back to it. 1883 01:19:23,585 --> 01:19:26,565 But once I come back to it, I have to read the whole fucking 1884 01:19:26,565 --> 01:19:27,565 through the whole way through. 1885 01:19:27,865 --> 01:19:29,725 Mostly because once I finally remember what 1886 01:19:29,725 --> 01:19:31,885 that first book was about, I can't, I gotta keep going 1887 01:19:32,145 --> 01:19:33,845 so I don't lose that lose track. 1888 01:19:33,845 --> 01:19:35,165 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1889 01:19:35,465 --> 01:19:38,485 So I've, I have, uh, overwhelmed myself with 1890 01:19:39,035 --> 01:19:40,765 this historical romance series, 1891 01:19:40,935 --> 01:19:42,925 which each book is a standalone, 1892 01:19:43,345 --> 01:19:44,565 but they all like come together. 1893 01:19:44,785 --> 01:19:47,845 And then another series that I'm gonna finish after that. 1894 01:19:47,845 --> 01:19:49,485 And then I'll allow myself to look for more books. 1895 01:19:50,275 --> 01:19:51,845 That series, I actually kind 1896 01:19:51,845 --> 01:19:53,525 of vaguely remember what happened in the first book. 1897 01:19:53,945 --> 01:19:56,445 And so every day I just, when I think I see that, oh yeah, 1898 01:19:56,445 --> 01:19:58,765 that series, I remind myself, this is what you remember 1899 01:19:58,765 --> 01:20:00,725 that happened to them . 1900 01:20:01,705 --> 01:20:03,485 And so while my brain has all 1901 01:20:03,485 --> 01:20:07,605 of the things already going on, the random worries, the, 1902 01:20:07,865 --> 01:20:10,965 the, the parts of life that have to be done, the 1903 01:20:11,355 --> 01:20:12,405 what does that smell? 1904 01:20:12,505 --> 01:20:14,605 Why does that look like that kind of thoughts. 1905 01:20:14,695 --> 01:20:19,085 There will also be running in the background periodically. 1906 01:20:19,875 --> 01:20:21,685 That one book, remember it had this in it. 1907 01:20:21,685 --> 01:20:23,325 And so you'll remember what it was about. 1908 01:20:23,585 --> 01:20:26,925 You get back to the series. I understand. 1909 01:20:26,965 --> 01:20:28,405 I have problems. Okay. . 1910 01:20:28,955 --> 01:20:31,725 - Yeah. - So, you know, it's fine. 1911 01:20:33,835 --> 01:20:37,685 - It's fine. It's fine. Yeah. Silent you, you're not wrong. 1912 01:20:37,995 --> 01:20:41,605 What Kayla does blast through books at an inhuman speed. 1913 01:20:41,965 --> 01:20:46,725 I, and, and it's almost like every day I get a notification 1914 01:20:47,675 --> 01:20:49,445 from Good Reads that there's been, oh, you 1915 01:20:49,445 --> 01:20:50,565 - Follow me on Good Reads. Yeah. 1916 01:20:51,325 --> 01:20:54,045 - , - I, this, 1917 01:20:54,285 --> 01:20:56,765 I almost moved away from Good Reads this 1918 01:20:56,765 --> 01:20:57,965 year to Story Graph. 1919 01:20:58,145 --> 01:20:59,405 And it's still early enough in the year 1920 01:20:59,405 --> 01:21:03,165 that I can Story Graph is an alternative to Good Reads that 1921 01:21:03,765 --> 01:21:07,525 I have heard multiple times is better than Good Reads. 1922 01:21:07,525 --> 01:21:08,965 Good Reads is glitchy as fuck. 1923 01:21:09,105 --> 01:21:12,125 But Good Reads is connected to Amazon. 1924 01:21:12,125 --> 01:21:14,605 And so therefore that when Good 1925 01:21:14,605 --> 01:21:15,845 Reads is working properly Mm-Hmm. 1926 01:21:16,055 --> 01:21:17,125 Makes it a little bit easier. 1927 01:21:17,305 --> 01:21:21,205 And all I'm doing is I tried, I tried to review books, 1928 01:21:22,545 --> 01:21:24,165 but that just made me not wanna read. 1929 01:21:24,225 --> 01:21:26,005 It also reminded me of how little 1930 01:21:26,525 --> 01:21:27,605 I can remember from a book, 1931 01:21:27,675 --> 01:21:29,405 even within 10 minutes of having finished it. 1932 01:21:29,405 --> 01:21:31,125 Oh goodness. And it just felt like pressure. 1933 01:21:31,265 --> 01:21:32,685 It made it not fun. And I 1934 01:21:32,685 --> 01:21:33,845 went, I don't, I don't wanna do that. 1935 01:21:33,845 --> 01:21:34,965 Mm-Hmm. also I learned, thank you 1936 01:21:35,085 --> 01:21:36,125 internet, that I'm a mood reader. 1937 01:21:36,595 --> 01:21:38,245 That it's about the vibe. 1938 01:21:38,675 --> 01:21:41,605 It's, I can't, when I tried to have a thing that was like, 1939 01:21:41,825 --> 01:21:44,125 I'm gonna read all of the physical books on our bookshelves 1940 01:21:44,125 --> 01:21:47,125 before I read anything else within like six books. 1941 01:21:47,125 --> 01:21:49,125 It was like, I don't wanna read any of these. 1942 01:21:49,185 --> 01:21:50,965 And it wasn't until I gave myself permission to go 1943 01:21:50,965 --> 01:21:52,565 to the library that I went, oh yeah. 1944 01:21:52,565 --> 01:21:57,005 Reading is fun. So I can't put restrictions on myself Yeah. 1945 01:21:57,025 --> 01:21:58,925 For reading or I just won't. 1946 01:21:58,985 --> 01:22:01,005 And so once I lifted all restrictions, 1947 01:22:01,655 --> 01:22:03,365 other than not buying any 1948 01:22:03,365 --> 01:22:04,845 books, 'cause I don't have money for that. 1949 01:22:04,865 --> 01:22:06,725 Mm-Hmm. . Um, but it's like I can borrow 'em 1950 01:22:06,725 --> 01:22:08,725 from the library, I can read 'em on Kindle Unlimited. 1951 01:22:08,765 --> 01:22:10,285 I can read free books. Like whatever, whatever. 1952 01:22:10,315 --> 01:22:13,245 Once I did that, you couldn't fucking stop me. 1953 01:22:13,305 --> 01:22:16,365 It is, and I don't use this term loosely like, like 1954 01:22:17,385 --> 01:22:20,045 as if I don't understand its meaning in Neurodivergency. 1955 01:22:20,165 --> 01:22:23,165 I do, it is my hyper focus right now. . Okay. 1956 01:22:23,465 --> 01:22:26,245 But when I was a kid, I read like this too. Mm-Hmm. 1957 01:22:26,245 --> 01:22:28,525 Like I would just, I didn't keep track. 1958 01:22:28,725 --> 01:22:30,685 I know, but I know I read hundreds of books a year. 1959 01:22:31,165 --> 01:22:32,685 'cause it's all I did. It was the thing. 1960 01:22:33,145 --> 01:22:35,765 But I was also at a time when people 1961 01:22:35,885 --> 01:22:37,085 go, well what do you do for hobbies? 1962 01:22:37,145 --> 01:22:38,725 And I always felt really weird 'cause I was like, well, 1963 01:22:38,725 --> 01:22:40,685 I read 'cause that's what I, that's what I do. 1964 01:22:40,685 --> 01:22:42,925 Yeah. Uh, and at the time people 1965 01:22:42,925 --> 01:22:44,125 didn't really consider that a hobby. 1966 01:22:44,265 --> 01:22:45,085 Mm-Hmm. , thank you 1967 01:22:45,245 --> 01:22:46,925 Internet for making it a hobby. . Yeah. 1968 01:22:47,675 --> 01:22:52,005 - Well, you know, with Good Reads, I, I was, um, very active 1969 01:22:52,585 --> 01:22:54,485 on Good Reads for a while myself. 1970 01:22:55,185 --> 01:22:57,965 Um, because I was involved with a group 1971 01:22:58,675 --> 01:23:00,805 that did, uh, write reviews. 1972 01:23:00,865 --> 01:23:03,405 Mm-Hmm. . And one of the things 1973 01:23:03,405 --> 01:23:05,445 that I liked about Reads, 1974 01:23:05,445 --> 01:23:08,325 because that, that also went back to the time when, um, 1975 01:23:09,785 --> 01:23:12,085 before this insanity that we're doing right here, 1976 01:23:12,705 --> 01:23:13,965 um, used to blog. 1977 01:23:14,265 --> 01:23:18,885 Yep. And there was a widget that allowed you 1978 01:23:18,885 --> 01:23:19,965 to connect to Good Reads. 1979 01:23:20,465 --> 01:23:23,085 And it showed, you know, what you're currently reading. 1980 01:23:23,645 --> 01:23:25,605 - Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember that. So I, 1981 01:23:25,725 --> 01:23:28,205 - I used to do that, you know, in conjunction with the, 1982 01:23:28,205 --> 01:23:30,365 with the reviews I used to write Mm-Hmm. . 1983 01:23:30,835 --> 01:23:32,325 - Yeah. I tried writing reviews. 1984 01:23:32,605 --> 01:23:34,925 I just, if it was too much pressure 1985 01:23:34,945 --> 01:23:37,285 and I didn't like it, so then I stopped. 1986 01:23:37,505 --> 01:23:38,685 So there you go. Hmm. 1987 01:23:40,625 --> 01:23:42,645 Uh, I worried that the bonus section's gonna be longer 1988 01:23:42,645 --> 01:23:43,805 than the episode . 1989 01:23:43,845 --> 01:23:44,965 I don't think that's actually gonna happen. No. 1990 01:23:44,965 --> 01:23:46,845 But I'm like, oh, wow. Here we go. Yep. 1991 01:23:47,105 --> 01:23:49,725 Um, and we got stuff we gotta do. So I guess we should go. 1992 01:23:49,745 --> 01:23:51,485 Mm-Hmm. , uh, thanks for being with us. Yeah. 1993 01:23:51,485 --> 01:23:52,565 Especially to the bitter end. 1994 01:23:53,485 --> 01:23:55,205 - Absolutely. - Thanks for your time and attention. Mm-Hmm. 1995 01:23:55,245 --> 01:23:57,805 , thanks for loving me despite, or 1996 01:23:57,805 --> 01:24:00,685 because of my ranting , whichever it is. 1997 01:24:00,845 --> 01:24:05,125 I don't care. Um, and we will see y'all next week. 1998 01:24:05,305 --> 01:24:06,885 We will. Okay. All right. 1999 01:24:07,105 --> 01:24:07,725 - Bye. Bye.