1 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,605 - You are listening to Living BDSM podcast. 2 00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:15,205 Kayla Lord's here with the one, the only, the guy 3 00:00:15,205 --> 00:00:19,325 who is repping his new merch from a concert. 4 00:00:19,505 --> 00:00:21,045 He got to go to John Brownstone. 5 00:00:21,105 --> 00:00:23,365 - Yes, indeed. - I had noticed that. 6 00:00:23,555 --> 00:00:25,365 It's Trans Siberian Orchestra. If you're new here. 7 00:00:25,565 --> 00:00:26,725 . We did that as a 8 00:00:26,845 --> 00:00:27,965 Christmas present to ourselves. 9 00:00:28,185 --> 00:00:31,325 Um, I noticed you had worn it once right after we got home. 10 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:34,765 Yep. And then I hadn't seen you wear it again. Mm-Hmm. 11 00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:36,005 . And then I put it away 12 00:00:36,165 --> 00:00:38,045 'cause it was just sitting on top of our dresser. 13 00:00:38,295 --> 00:00:39,805 Right. And then today we're 14 00:00:39,805 --> 00:00:41,005 recording, we're live streaming, we're doing 15 00:00:41,005 --> 00:00:42,005 - All these things. 16 00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:42,245 It came out again and you're 17 00:00:42,245 --> 00:00:43,765 - Like, yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna shut this off. 18 00:00:43,765 --> 00:00:45,045 Mm-Hmm. and podcast listeners. 19 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,245 You can't see it. So I have to say something so 20 00:00:47,245 --> 00:00:50,005 that you know, because I'm sure you wanted to know. 21 00:00:50,155 --> 00:00:53,045 Yeah. Yeah. That's not actually what we're here for. No, no. 22 00:00:53,385 --> 00:00:56,885 Uh, this week we're answering a question from a 23 00:00:56,885 --> 00:00:58,405 submissive who sometimes just wants 24 00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:00,045 to be punished in their power exchange 25 00:01:00,755 --> 00:01:02,245 without a sexual element. 26 00:01:02,715 --> 00:01:04,445 Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. 27 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,805 If you're new here, we help sters like you have happy, 28 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,165 healthy power exchange relationships. 29 00:01:08,465 --> 00:01:10,405 You can add the podcast to your favorite podcast app 30 00:01:10,405 --> 00:01:11,445 so you never miss an episode. 31 00:01:11,665 --> 00:01:14,325 And if you'd like us to answer your question in an upcoming 32 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:17,005 episode, uh, we have a contact page called Ask your 33 00:01:17,165 --> 00:01:19,645 Questions on our website@lovingbdsm.net. 34 00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:21,685 That's loving bdsm.net. 35 00:01:22,105 --> 00:01:25,165 Or it's in the show notes, uh, page for this episode. 36 00:01:25,625 --> 00:01:28,685 Submit your question. We'd love to, uh, answer it. Okay. 37 00:01:28,685 --> 00:01:30,725 Let's, here's the question. Uh, it says, 38 00:01:30,945 --> 00:01:33,845 I'm in a woman loving woman relationship. 39 00:01:34,105 --> 00:01:37,165 I'm a sub, my girlfriend is the dom. We use toys during sex. 40 00:01:37,385 --> 00:01:39,165 She spanks me and hits me while we have sex. 41 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:42,645 But sometimes something I've noticed is she doesn't seem 42 00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:45,125 as comfortable with punishing me without sex. 43 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,605 I just want her to bend me over and punish me. 44 00:01:47,605 --> 00:01:49,325 And that's it. So what can I do 45 00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:51,085 to get her more comfortable with doing that? 46 00:01:54,645 --> 00:01:56,205 I feel like I know what your first thought 47 00:01:56,205 --> 00:01:57,205 - Was. 48 00:01:57,205 --> 00:02:00,645 Right. It, it's the ever omniscient C word. 49 00:02:01,525 --> 00:02:03,485 - I mean, it's both our favorite C word 50 00:02:03,545 --> 00:02:05,125 and kind of the dreaded C word. 51 00:02:05,155 --> 00:02:06,405 Yeah. Because it's the, 52 00:02:06,475 --> 00:02:08,005 it's the first thing. It's always the first thing. 53 00:02:08,115 --> 00:02:09,285 - Yeah. Communicate. Yeah. 54 00:02:09,475 --> 00:02:11,645 - Have you talked to your partner about 55 00:02:11,645 --> 00:02:12,645 - This? 56 00:02:12,645 --> 00:02:16,485 Right. Um, you know, nobody is a mind reader. 57 00:02:16,905 --> 00:02:18,165 Dom, sub switch, 58 00:02:18,165 --> 00:02:21,085 however you identify, um, 59 00:02:22,565 --> 00:02:23,605 nobody's a mind reader. 60 00:02:24,305 --> 00:02:27,205 So the only way somebody's going to know what you want, 61 00:02:28,785 --> 00:02:29,805 you have to tell 'em. 62 00:02:30,745 --> 00:02:31,845 - You have to tell them. And I think 63 00:02:31,845 --> 00:02:32,925 you have to get specific. 64 00:02:32,925 --> 00:02:34,445 You're already in a relationship. Yeah. 65 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,045 You've already sort of established the things that you do 66 00:02:37,045 --> 00:02:38,245 and don't do with one another. 67 00:02:38,665 --> 00:02:42,245 You've got the, uh, examples of the things that you've done 68 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,045 that you both like and you maybe kind 69 00:02:44,045 --> 00:02:45,925 of wish were a little bit different. 70 00:02:46,425 --> 00:02:49,205 Um, and mm-Hmm. . So, and it's not enough 71 00:02:49,205 --> 00:02:51,085 to just go, Hey, can you just punish 72 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,125 me without sex sometimes? 73 00:02:52,225 --> 00:02:54,125 Can you just like wail on me? 74 00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:57,525 Can you just like, make me regret my actions consensually. 75 00:02:57,525 --> 00:03:01,405 Right. To help a partner become comfortable with that. 76 00:03:01,405 --> 00:03:04,725 Especially if it's not their, you know, natural 77 00:03:05,345 --> 00:03:06,405 way of operating. 78 00:03:06,585 --> 00:03:08,165 Or if you have mentioned it 79 00:03:08,185 --> 00:03:12,005 and they're still uncomfortable, give them concrete examples 80 00:03:12,145 --> 00:03:13,445 of what you're thinking about. 81 00:03:13,905 --> 00:03:15,365 Go back to past moments 82 00:03:15,465 --> 00:03:16,845 and say, remember that time 83 00:03:17,815 --> 00:03:20,165 where we did the whole punishment thing 84 00:03:20,425 --> 00:03:21,805 and it was sexy and sexual. 85 00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:24,685 Here's a way that it would've been really 86 00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:25,765 cool without the sex. 87 00:03:25,765 --> 00:03:28,365 Mm-Hmm. , here's a way that, you know, I'm, 88 00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:30,165 I would have enjoyed it as well. 89 00:03:30,265 --> 00:03:31,965 Here's a fantasy of mine. 90 00:03:32,505 --> 00:03:36,125 The thing about punishment is it has 91 00:03:36,325 --> 00:03:38,925 to be negotiated just like anything else. 92 00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:41,965 Sure. Um, and you may have a partner who's like, well, 93 00:03:41,965 --> 00:03:43,205 we've never talked about punishment, 94 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,565 so that's not what I'm doing. 95 00:03:44,565 --> 00:03:49,045 Maybe they see the punishing during sex more as punishment. 96 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:52,205 Maybe it's part of the scene or some role play for them. 97 00:03:52,385 --> 00:03:55,845 So when you talk to them, get into the details 98 00:03:55,865 --> 00:03:56,965 of how they see it. 99 00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:59,045 Mm-Hmm. and also what you want. 100 00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:00,645 - Right. Because the other thing that comes 101 00:04:00,645 --> 00:04:05,325 to mind at this is, you know, does their partner view 102 00:04:06,285 --> 00:04:07,565 BDSM as sexual? 103 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:10,285 Right. You know, a lot of people do, some people don't. 104 00:04:10,285 --> 00:04:12,005 Mm-Hmm. some people, it's, it's a mix. 105 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:16,165 So, you know, they may be viewing it through this lens. 106 00:04:16,785 --> 00:04:18,765 And you know, there again too that, that, 107 00:04:18,795 --> 00:04:20,405 that may be something you need to tell 'em. 108 00:04:20,405 --> 00:04:22,045 You know, I don't always see it this way. 109 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:25,885 And, and to me, during punishment, not the time for that. 110 00:04:26,295 --> 00:04:29,005 - Right. Or it's okay in some context. Mm-Hmm. 111 00:04:29,045 --> 00:04:30,445 and not all contexts. 112 00:04:30,445 --> 00:04:32,445 Here are the contexts in which I would like 113 00:04:32,445 --> 00:04:33,805 punishment to not be sexual. 114 00:04:33,935 --> 00:04:36,805 Right now. The thing is, is you can tell your partner 115 00:04:37,395 --> 00:04:39,045 what you want, what you're looking for, 116 00:04:39,425 --> 00:04:41,525 and they get to have their own limits and boundaries. 117 00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:43,285 So it is entirely possible 118 00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:45,605 that when you first start mentioning this, 119 00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:48,645 your partner's not comfortable ever or yet. 120 00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:50,685 Okay. So the, when you ask, 121 00:04:50,865 --> 00:04:53,685 how do you get her more comfortable with doing that one, 122 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:58,525 it needs to be something that she innately wants to do. 123 00:04:58,525 --> 00:05:00,205 Mm-Hmm. . And in the beginning, or right when 124 00:05:00,205 --> 00:05:02,445 you bring it up, she might say, no, I'm not interested. 125 00:05:02,875 --> 00:05:05,125 It's possible that that may never change. 126 00:05:05,275 --> 00:05:08,285 It's also equally possible that over time, 127 00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:09,925 the longer you're together, 128 00:05:09,985 --> 00:05:12,285 the more experiences you have together, the more you, 129 00:05:12,985 --> 00:05:15,845 not in a constant naggy, overwhelming way, 130 00:05:15,865 --> 00:05:19,085 but over time, as you talk about it at different times, 131 00:05:19,315 --> 00:05:20,685 over months and years, 132 00:05:21,065 --> 00:05:22,685 she can become more comfortable with it. 133 00:05:22,685 --> 00:05:25,805 Right. Um, and I do think that coming to your partner with 134 00:05:26,365 --> 00:05:28,245 concrete examples, whether they're fantasies 135 00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,925 or times that you were like, Ooh, if you had done this, 136 00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,645 that would've been so amazing. 137 00:05:32,645 --> 00:05:35,165 Right. To point out the instances 138 00:05:35,235 --> 00:05:36,805 that maybe they've already been in, 139 00:05:37,225 --> 00:05:39,485 or the instances that they weren't even thinking of. 140 00:05:39,685 --> 00:05:40,885 'cause that's not on their mind. Mm-Hmm. . 141 00:05:40,885 --> 00:05:42,045 But you have clearly thought of it. 142 00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:45,285 I, you know, when we tell people, Hey, 143 00:05:45,285 --> 00:05:46,445 you've gotta talk to your partner. 144 00:05:46,725 --> 00:05:48,565 I think some people go, Hey, I just have 145 00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:49,685 to tell my partner I want this. 146 00:05:49,745 --> 00:05:51,165 And then that's the end of the conversation. 147 00:05:51,165 --> 00:05:53,125 They'll know all of the questions to ask. 148 00:05:53,445 --> 00:05:54,765 - I mean, this - Almost never true. 149 00:05:54,935 --> 00:05:58,725 - Right? And, and this may be one of those times where, um, 150 00:05:59,545 --> 00:06:03,325 you may be talking about negotiating compromise, right? 151 00:06:03,385 --> 00:06:06,405 - Mm-Hmm. . And you may have to decide 152 00:06:06,425 --> 00:06:09,365 for yourself if punishment outside 153 00:06:09,365 --> 00:06:12,725 of a sexual experience is a deal breaker for you or not. 154 00:06:12,725 --> 00:06:14,325 Mm-Hmm. it may be something that you're like, 155 00:06:14,325 --> 00:06:16,685 yeah, it's a nice to have and maybe one day we'll get there, 156 00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:19,285 but it's not something I need in this relationship. 157 00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:22,725 I'm happy as we are. This would just be icing on the cake. 158 00:06:23,065 --> 00:06:27,405 Uh, it could be a no, this is fundamental to, 159 00:06:28,425 --> 00:06:30,205 you know, who I am as a submissive, 160 00:06:30,205 --> 00:06:31,285 what I need in power exchange. 161 00:06:31,635 --> 00:06:32,645 Only you can answer that. 162 00:06:32,945 --> 00:06:36,085 And it's okay if the answer is, I don't even know. 163 00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:38,805 Uh, I need time to think about that part as well. 164 00:06:39,425 --> 00:06:41,725 Um, what it really comes down to is 165 00:06:42,425 --> 00:06:44,445 how do you present the information 166 00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:45,685 to your partner of what you want? 167 00:06:45,825 --> 00:06:46,885 And how do they accept 168 00:06:46,885 --> 00:06:49,485 that information if they immediately reject it? 169 00:06:49,485 --> 00:06:52,965 If they're immediate hard, no, you have to respect that 170 00:06:53,225 --> 00:06:55,125 and back off, leave it alone. 171 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:59,765 If they respond with some level of curiosity 172 00:07:00,065 --> 00:07:02,165 or openness to the idea. 173 00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,045 Mm-Hmm. , even if they're uncertain, 174 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:05,125 even if they're like, 175 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:06,885 I don't know what that would look like. 176 00:07:07,085 --> 00:07:08,485 I don't know what you mean by that. 177 00:07:08,905 --> 00:07:10,765 That's an opening for the conversation. 178 00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:14,325 And it is very possible that you may share an example of, 179 00:07:14,385 --> 00:07:15,965 Hey, this would've been so amazing. 180 00:07:16,165 --> 00:07:18,285 I, this is what I'm looking for. And they're like, Mm-Hmm. 181 00:07:18,325 --> 00:07:21,445 . Oh, I didn't know that. I I like that too. 182 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,245 Let's do it Now. 183 00:07:23,585 --> 00:07:27,285 If in, in whatever form you add punishment to your exchange, 184 00:07:27,355 --> 00:07:30,405 your power exchange, your dynamic, you need 185 00:07:30,425 --> 00:07:31,885 to have parameters. 186 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:34,525 And everybody needs to understand the parameters of that. 187 00:07:34,525 --> 00:07:35,605 Mm-Hmm. punishment 188 00:07:35,605 --> 00:07:38,285 and power exchange outside of a sexual experience, 189 00:07:38,355 --> 00:07:40,205 were ultimately . 190 00:07:40,785 --> 00:07:43,765 The, the goal is pleasure in some form. Mm-Hmm. 191 00:07:43,805 --> 00:07:45,605 , um, ca you know, 192 00:07:45,605 --> 00:07:49,245 it just looks a little bit different in, in my opinion 193 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,965 and experience than when it's like, oh, you know, 194 00:07:52,065 --> 00:07:53,965 I'm a bad girl while you're fucking me. 195 00:07:53,965 --> 00:07:56,005 Like it's, it's just a different thing. 196 00:07:56,105 --> 00:07:58,165 So in that case, it's well, under 197 00:07:58,165 --> 00:08:00,685 what circumstances will there be this punishment? 198 00:08:01,035 --> 00:08:03,605 What are the options of punishment? 199 00:08:03,705 --> 00:08:06,085 Is it a bend me over and spank me? 200 00:08:06,165 --> 00:08:07,525 'cause I've been a bad girl? 201 00:08:08,145 --> 00:08:12,725 Is it, you know, I talked back. Is it, I gave you a look. 202 00:08:12,795 --> 00:08:17,205 It's like, what are the punishments and what Mm-Hmm. 203 00:08:17,245 --> 00:08:19,085 initiates the punishment. 204 00:08:19,115 --> 00:08:21,765 What, what actions or inactions will occur? 205 00:08:21,945 --> 00:08:25,885 So you both consensually understand this is that moment. 206 00:08:26,445 --> 00:08:28,045 'cause that could be the other thing. Your part be like, 207 00:08:28,235 --> 00:08:31,965 okay, you want me to, okay, you want you, you want me to 208 00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:34,525 punish you, but what does that mean? 209 00:08:34,545 --> 00:08:38,565 And when, so once you give those kinds of 210 00:08:39,155 --> 00:08:41,325 very real details and negotiate it back 211 00:08:41,325 --> 00:08:42,805 and forth within your own comfort level, 212 00:08:43,035 --> 00:08:46,485 then they have a place to go to become comfortable 213 00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:47,965 because it's not a great unknown. 214 00:08:48,065 --> 00:08:51,245 Mm-Hmm. . And they know exactly when, when 215 00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:53,405 and what to do as it comes up. 216 00:08:53,505 --> 00:08:56,125 And I think that if they're open to it, that's 217 00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:57,205 how you grow comfortable with it. 218 00:08:57,605 --> 00:09:00,845 I think just sort of having this mysterious punish me. 219 00:09:00,985 --> 00:09:02,765 Mm-Hmm. . And, and that's, 220 00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:04,365 and that's the end of the conversation there. 221 00:09:04,365 --> 00:09:07,445 There's way too much room for interpretation. Yeah. 222 00:09:07,625 --> 00:09:10,685 And a responsible dom does not want it that open-ended. 223 00:09:10,935 --> 00:09:14,165 Right. They, they want some parameters, so 224 00:09:14,165 --> 00:09:15,165 - They keep everybody safe. 225 00:09:15,165 --> 00:09:17,405 I, it, it sounds to me too, like there could be some 226 00:09:17,405 --> 00:09:19,365 misalignment in expectations. 227 00:09:19,635 --> 00:09:20,685 - Very true. Very true. 228 00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:22,765 Which is, we go back to, you have to have the conversation. 229 00:09:22,765 --> 00:09:24,925 Right. But if you've already had the conversation, 230 00:09:24,925 --> 00:09:26,925 you're like, yeah, I did that part, but it's not working. 231 00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:29,685 Okay, but how detailed were you in the conversation? Mm-Hmm. 232 00:09:29,725 --> 00:09:30,965 did you say, this is 233 00:09:30,965 --> 00:09:32,365 what I want when I want it. 234 00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:35,645 Here's an example of a situation, you know, 235 00:09:36,225 --> 00:09:38,085 and give them time and space 236 00:09:38,085 --> 00:09:39,925 and room to think about it, to go, 237 00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:41,525 you know, talk to their own. 238 00:09:41,525 --> 00:09:43,205 Maybe, maybe they're in some dom groups. 239 00:09:43,205 --> 00:09:45,805 There's, they've got some online kink community 240 00:09:45,805 --> 00:09:48,085 that they can go, you know, pick somebody's brain 241 00:09:48,145 --> 00:09:49,925 and give them that space to do that. 242 00:09:50,845 --> 00:09:52,005 Assuming that they don't immediately 243 00:09:52,005 --> 00:09:53,245 shut it down is a hard No. 244 00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:56,885 I mean, it is both that simple and that complicated 245 00:09:57,885 --> 00:09:58,885 - . 246 00:09:58,885 --> 00:09:59,205 That is true . 247 00:09:59,595 --> 00:10:01,045 - Yeah. Uh, final point. 248 00:10:01,105 --> 00:10:02,445 If your partner's not comfortable, 249 00:10:02,445 --> 00:10:04,685 there's nothing you can do to make them comfortable. 250 00:10:05,125 --> 00:10:09,085 I think if they are willing to try, 251 00:10:09,315 --> 00:10:12,365 even if they're uncomfortable, the best thing you can do is 252 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,725 to give consistent feedback. 253 00:10:15,585 --> 00:10:17,965 Hey, yeah, that was a rough moment, but you did a good job. 254 00:10:18,155 --> 00:10:21,165 That was what I wanted. Thank you for that. Right? Mm-Hmm. 255 00:10:21,165 --> 00:10:23,445 Like, whatever it is, whatever kind of feedback works 256 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,605 for your dom, make sure you're giving them that 257 00:10:26,605 --> 00:10:30,965 because it is, it's a bit of a mind fuck to physically 258 00:10:31,145 --> 00:10:34,445 or in any other way, punish a grown ass adult when 259 00:10:34,445 --> 00:10:37,645 that is not where your mind went immediately. 260 00:10:37,645 --> 00:10:39,965 Right. Right. If you didn't come up going, yeah, 261 00:10:39,965 --> 00:10:41,845 that's exactly what I'm gonna do in a relationship. 262 00:10:42,235 --> 00:10:43,765 It's weird. It's a mind fuck. 263 00:10:43,765 --> 00:10:46,525 It's like, am I, did I do that right? Did I go too far? 264 00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:47,685 Did I not go far enough? 265 00:10:47,985 --> 00:10:51,325 So when things are going well, if they're willing to try, 266 00:10:51,435 --> 00:10:54,125 make sure you let them know and have mm-hmm. 267 00:10:54,165 --> 00:10:57,645 room for both of you within any part 268 00:10:57,645 --> 00:10:59,205 of the dynamic for feedback, 269 00:10:59,205 --> 00:11:00,805 for when maybe it could be better. 270 00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:03,765 Like, you could say, you could have the ability to go, 271 00:11:03,995 --> 00:11:05,205 that was a little too hard. 272 00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:07,565 That wasn't hard enough. I need more, I need less. 273 00:11:07,905 --> 00:11:09,845 And they need to have the ability to go, okay, 274 00:11:09,965 --> 00:11:12,565 I understand this is the, this is when you want punishment 275 00:11:12,565 --> 00:11:14,085 and this is the kind of punishment you want. 276 00:11:14,295 --> 00:11:16,525 We've tried it. I don't think I can do that, 277 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,725 but maybe I can do this. 278 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:20,125 And just keep those lines of communication open. 279 00:11:20,315 --> 00:11:21,405 Give each other feedback. 280 00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:23,445 Praise your partner for doing something 281 00:11:23,485 --> 00:11:24,605 outside of their comfort zone. 282 00:11:25,145 --> 00:11:26,925 And if it's something they're willing to do, 283 00:11:27,105 --> 00:11:28,165 the longer they do it 284 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,845 and get the positive feedback from you 285 00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:33,005 that they're doing the right thing over time, you know, 286 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,965 that's how you become more comfortable with things. 287 00:11:35,145 --> 00:11:38,165 Yep. So I think that's it. Mm-Hmm. . Okay. 288 00:11:38,545 --> 00:11:40,765 Thanks for listening to this week's q and a episode. 289 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,685 If you want us to answer one of your questions, 290 00:11:42,795 --> 00:11:45,885 just use the contact page on our website@lovingbdsm.net, 291 00:11:46,065 --> 00:11:47,685 or you can find the link in the show notes. 292 00:11:48,105 --> 00:11:50,605 Big thanks as always to our kinky community over on Patreon, 293 00:11:50,735 --> 00:11:53,060 we're able to do this podcast and keep it going, going 294 00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,845 and help Sters due to your support. 295 00:11:55,305 --> 00:11:56,965 If you'd like to be part of our community 296 00:11:56,965 --> 00:11:58,245 and get access to extra content 297 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,445 and a Discord server with a group of super cool, 298 00:12:00,445 --> 00:12:02,045 super nice sters, you can do that. 299 00:12:02,195 --> 00:12:04,765 Just join us at patreon.com/kayla lords. 300 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,365 That's patreon.com/kayla lords. 301 00:12:07,365 --> 00:12:08,525 Or use the link in the show notes.