1 00:00:10,945 --> 00:00:12,605 - You are listening to the living BDSM podcast. 2 00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:15,325 Kayla, the Lord's here with the one, the only, the guy 3 00:00:15,345 --> 00:00:17,085 who was like, ready to do this 4 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,525 before I was ready to do this. 5 00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:20,125 That's brownstone. 6 00:00:20,785 --> 00:00:22,885 Who are you and what have you done with my dom husband 7 00:00:22,985 --> 00:00:24,005 and business partner? 8 00:00:24,395 --> 00:00:28,525 - This is our last recording day before break. 9 00:00:28,875 --> 00:00:29,885 - It's true, - That's true. 10 00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:32,725 And I'm ready to pound it out and get her done. 11 00:00:33,585 --> 00:00:35,685 - That's what, that's what he said. Yeah. . 12 00:00:37,825 --> 00:00:38,725 Um, , 13 00:00:42,265 --> 00:00:43,445 uh, I'm sorry. 14 00:00:43,905 --> 00:00:47,925 You rendered me speechless. We are time traveling. 15 00:00:47,945 --> 00:00:50,285 You will be listening to this while we are hopefully 16 00:00:50,295 --> 00:00:52,645 blissfully not doing a fucking thing. 17 00:00:52,645 --> 00:00:53,645 Y'all right? 18 00:00:53,905 --> 00:00:55,605 We are definitely at a point where we need some time 19 00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,285 to just do nothing. 20 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,005 I'm not sure we're capable of it, but we'll find out. So as 21 00:01:01,005 --> 00:01:02,765 - Close to it as we're capable of, right? 22 00:01:02,765 --> 00:01:04,485 - Right. , that's not what we're talking about. 23 00:01:04,785 --> 00:01:06,445 Uh, this week. Uh, no, no. 24 00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:09,165 uh, this week we're answering a question from Adam 25 00:01:09,185 --> 00:01:11,885 Dom who wants to help their partner heal from past trauma, 26 00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:13,605 but can't stop worrying 27 00:01:13,605 --> 00:01:17,045 that their submissive behaviors might be based on the past 28 00:01:17,185 --> 00:01:18,205 and not on their dynamic. 29 00:01:18,755 --> 00:01:20,365 Welcome to the Living BDSM podcast. 30 00:01:20,665 --> 00:01:22,765 If you're new here, we help kinks like you have happy, 31 00:01:22,765 --> 00:01:24,085 healthy power exchange relationships. 32 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,325 You can add the podcast to your favorite podcast app 33 00:01:26,325 --> 00:01:27,405 so you never miss an episode. 34 00:01:27,665 --> 00:01:31,165 And if you like us, how, how do words work? 35 00:01:31,385 --> 00:01:35,165 And if you would like us to answer your question, 36 00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,765 , you can do that. 37 00:01:38,755 --> 00:01:40,485 There's a link in the show notes 38 00:01:40,545 --> 00:01:42,765 and on our website, loving bdsm.net. 39 00:01:42,785 --> 00:01:44,685 - Oh, this is gonna be a long day, right? 40 00:01:45,085 --> 00:01:46,885 - that just says, ask your questions 41 00:01:46,945 --> 00:01:49,045 and you just click the link and you put in your info 42 00:01:49,045 --> 00:01:50,365 and it comes to us as an email. 43 00:01:50,905 --> 00:01:53,085 And ta-da, you've submitted your question. 44 00:01:53,465 --> 00:01:55,005 If you reque do a question 45 00:01:55,505 --> 00:01:57,525 and ask us things as if we are Google. 46 00:01:57,845 --> 00:02:01,005 I will not include that in a future episode. 47 00:02:01,005 --> 00:02:04,325 We've gotten at least one where it was like how 48 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,605 to have a DSS dynamic. 49 00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:08,285 I was like, that's our whole, like, that's, I mean, 50 00:02:08,505 --> 00:02:10,365 if you googled that, you probably came to us. 51 00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:13,685 We have a whole website. Like this is situational stuff. 52 00:02:13,755 --> 00:02:16,165 This is like, come on now. More 53 00:02:16,685 --> 00:02:17,965 - a little more nuanced than 54 00:02:17,965 --> 00:02:18,965 - That. 55 00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:19,805 Right. We're, we're not, we're not Google. 56 00:02:20,745 --> 00:02:21,805 We, uh, excuse me. 57 00:02:21,865 --> 00:02:25,005 We try to have, um, information on our site. 58 00:02:25,005 --> 00:02:27,965 We try to be helpful, but these episodes are, 59 00:02:28,955 --> 00:02:30,165 like you said, situational. 60 00:02:30,965 --> 00:02:33,205 I am already ranting and we have not even gotten 61 00:02:33,355 --> 00:02:34,355 - Into campus. 62 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:34,965 We've not even gotten anywhere yet. 63 00:02:34,975 --> 00:02:39,285 We're still in the intro. I know. This is not, um, 64 00:02:39,715 --> 00:02:40,845 - This is gonna be interesting. 65 00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:44,565 Yeah. Okay. Let's get into this question. 66 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,685 Myself and my partner, both 51, 67 00:02:47,685 --> 00:02:49,245 have been together for three years. 68 00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:52,805 We have a caregiver, little 24 7 power exchange. Mm-Hmm. 69 00:02:52,845 --> 00:02:55,725 . She, my partner is coming from a 20 year off 70 00:02:55,725 --> 00:02:58,605 again on again marriage with an abusive narcissist. 71 00:02:58,605 --> 00:03:00,205 Mm-Hmm. Our relationship is good. 72 00:03:00,205 --> 00:03:01,285 And I'm doing everything I can 73 00:03:01,285 --> 00:03:02,805 to help her heal from the past trauma 74 00:03:02,825 --> 00:03:04,325 of those 20 years of garbage. 75 00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:07,325 One of the things the ex would do would be 76 00:03:07,325 --> 00:03:10,085 to throw a fit in public if the trip took any longer 77 00:03:10,085 --> 00:03:11,365 than he thought it should take. 78 00:03:11,665 --> 00:03:13,565 And that fit would include humiliating. 79 00:03:13,565 --> 00:03:18,245 My partner, my issue, when we go out shopping as we are need 80 00:03:18,245 --> 00:03:20,285 to do at times, my baby girl will ask me, 81 00:03:20,285 --> 00:03:21,925 can we go look at insert thing here? 82 00:03:22,205 --> 00:03:24,685 I have no problem with this. So I of course go Sure. 83 00:03:25,185 --> 00:03:27,165 At one point, once we got home, I told her, 84 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,405 when we're out shopping, if you wanna look at something, 85 00:03:29,465 --> 00:03:32,365 you can just say, let's go look at it was then 86 00:03:32,365 --> 00:03:34,845 that she told me, part of the reason why I ask is 87 00:03:34,845 --> 00:03:36,085 because I'm the baby girl 88 00:03:36,105 --> 00:03:37,685 and I'm supposed to ask permission. 89 00:03:38,555 --> 00:03:39,685 This makes total sense. 90 00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:41,245 And I love that she wants to do this. 91 00:03:41,705 --> 00:03:44,325 The problem is my annoying brain is saying in the back 92 00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:46,765 of my head, she's always had to ask permission 93 00:03:46,765 --> 00:03:47,805 to do anything from her ex. 94 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,965 She's not used to being an independent person. 95 00:03:50,425 --> 00:03:53,805 So my question, how do I wrestle my annoying brain into 96 00:03:53,925 --> 00:03:57,565 getting this in her, leaning into her submissive role 97 00:03:57,625 --> 00:03:59,965 and not her being stuck in an old tape? 98 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,365 Hmm. Oh, that's rough. 99 00:04:03,635 --> 00:04:07,085 - Yeah. - I mean, my first thing is she's told you, 100 00:04:07,575 --> 00:04:08,885 she's told you that from her 101 00:04:08,885 --> 00:04:10,125 perspective, she's the baby girl. 102 00:04:10,305 --> 00:04:12,765 She needs to ask permission, which 103 00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:15,165 it might not be worded this way. 104 00:04:15,165 --> 00:04:17,005 And this is me reading between the lines. Mm-Hmm. 105 00:04:17,045 --> 00:04:18,285 . So ask for clarification. 106 00:04:18,705 --> 00:04:20,405 But that sounds to me like that's 107 00:04:20,405 --> 00:04:22,005 what she wants to do as a baby girl. 108 00:04:22,005 --> 00:04:23,325 Right. And so basically, 109 00:04:23,715 --> 00:04:25,365 just like we tell subs all the time, 110 00:04:25,505 --> 00:04:27,245 at some point you just have to believe you're Dom. 111 00:04:27,395 --> 00:04:29,165 This is one of those moments that at some point you just 112 00:04:29,165 --> 00:04:30,565 have to believe you're submissive. 113 00:04:30,985 --> 00:04:34,205 She says, this is how this operates for her. Mm-Hmm. 114 00:04:34,245 --> 00:04:35,445 , you know, as long 115 00:04:35,445 --> 00:04:37,685 as she always has the freedom to say 116 00:04:37,685 --> 00:04:39,565 that she's changed her mind or maybe not, 117 00:04:39,585 --> 00:04:42,325 or she sees it differently or, you know, whatever. 118 00:04:42,545 --> 00:04:44,565 Mm. I think you, you gotta believe 119 00:04:44,565 --> 00:04:45,565 - Her. 120 00:04:45,565 --> 00:04:47,005 Yeah. I and, and I think you're right there. 121 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:51,005 I don't think there is a whole lot more going on Mm-Hmm. 122 00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:54,165 Under there. I mean, she's clearly stated, you know, 123 00:04:54,235 --> 00:04:55,405 this is what I want. 124 00:04:55,535 --> 00:04:59,885 Right. And I, I think really regardless of where 125 00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:01,765 that comes from, go with it. 126 00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,965 - Yeah. I, and I, I think, you know, do I think you need 127 00:05:04,965 --> 00:05:07,725 to take more care when you know your partner has been 128 00:05:07,725 --> 00:05:09,325 through it and is having to sort 129 00:05:09,325 --> 00:05:10,525 of overcome that and Mm-Hmm. 130 00:05:10,565 --> 00:05:13,405 relearn how to, you know, feel safe being 131 00:05:13,425 --> 00:05:15,805 who they are and doing things that, you know, 132 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,245 should have been safe to do for all those years. 133 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,885 Of course you do. So I think that 134 00:05:19,885 --> 00:05:21,285 that leads to more check-ins. 135 00:05:21,345 --> 00:05:24,485 Mm-Hmm. asking anytime you're unsure, just ask 136 00:05:24,545 --> 00:05:25,765 for quick clarification. 137 00:05:25,985 --> 00:05:28,805 Or, uh, you know, you and I have done this 138 00:05:28,805 --> 00:05:33,485 before when we know we're treading near a touchy subject, 139 00:05:33,785 --> 00:05:35,085 um, we've gotten better at this, 140 00:05:35,505 --> 00:05:38,725 not necessarily specifically with this kind of situation, 141 00:05:38,725 --> 00:05:41,285 but with our own, and I don't use the word lightly, 142 00:05:41,285 --> 00:05:44,405 our own triggers from our own bad tapes and past. 143 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:48,805 And, uh, um, we will try to lightly 144 00:05:49,435 --> 00:05:51,285 talk a around the situation. 145 00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:54,165 Like, can, can we, can we talk about this? 146 00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:55,965 How are you feeling about this thing? 147 00:05:56,395 --> 00:05:58,645 Instead of, of sometimes just bulldozing straight through 148 00:05:58,645 --> 00:06:01,725 of, I'm not sure that you understand that you don't have 149 00:06:01,725 --> 00:06:02,805 to ask for, for permission. 150 00:06:02,805 --> 00:06:04,445 And I'm, I'm worried this is your trauma. 151 00:06:04,915 --> 00:06:07,045 It's more of a how are you feeling about this? 152 00:06:07,155 --> 00:06:08,845 Where's your head at? Do you know, 153 00:06:08,865 --> 00:06:10,325 you can come talk to me about this. 154 00:06:10,665 --> 00:06:12,805 And creating the situations 155 00:06:13,185 --> 00:06:16,365 and the opportunities for if there's doubt from them 156 00:06:16,425 --> 00:06:19,005 or if they've rethought it as they've gone 157 00:06:19,005 --> 00:06:21,725 through their own, you know, healing journey 158 00:06:21,785 --> 00:06:23,885 and whatever they're doing to deal with that. 159 00:06:24,345 --> 00:06:25,605 You know, there's some things might come up 160 00:06:25,605 --> 00:06:28,285 where they're like, oh, at one point, you know, yes, 161 00:06:28,445 --> 00:06:30,165 I thought that I needed to ask for permission 162 00:06:30,315 --> 00:06:32,645 because of the dynamic, but really it was because of this. 163 00:06:32,645 --> 00:06:35,125 They, they could come to that conclusion. Right. 164 00:06:35,465 --> 00:06:37,845 As long as you're giving your partner the opportunity 165 00:06:37,945 --> 00:06:40,045 to change their mind to come to you anytime. 166 00:06:40,045 --> 00:06:41,525 Mm-Hmm. , it's a little bit different 167 00:06:41,785 --> 00:06:43,725 to tell you something that contradicts 168 00:06:43,725 --> 00:06:45,885 what they said at any point in the past. 169 00:06:46,525 --> 00:06:49,005 I think it's fine because people do change their minds 170 00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:50,325 as they go through stuff. 171 00:06:51,395 --> 00:06:54,605 - Deal with stuff as, as far as as saying it's a bad tape, 172 00:06:55,225 --> 00:06:58,405 you know, something in, in the, in regards 173 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,205 to it maybe being a bad tape. 174 00:07:00,415 --> 00:07:02,245 Maybe it is, but you know what, 175 00:07:02,245 --> 00:07:04,365 there could be a whole lot worse. Bad tapes. 176 00:07:04,595 --> 00:07:07,085 - Well, and I think there's also a thing about reclaiming 177 00:07:07,445 --> 00:07:08,685 a, a thing that happened to you. 178 00:07:08,685 --> 00:07:13,605 Sure. Right. So in this scenario, their previous partner 179 00:07:14,345 --> 00:07:16,725 abused them, humiliated them in ways 180 00:07:16,725 --> 00:07:19,565 that made them feel powerless in a way they did not want. 181 00:07:19,865 --> 00:07:21,165 It is entirely possible, 182 00:07:21,165 --> 00:07:22,085 and you only know if you 183 00:07:22,085 --> 00:07:23,165 have a conversation with your partner. 184 00:07:23,165 --> 00:07:26,245 Mm-Hmm. that them wanting to ask you 185 00:07:26,305 --> 00:07:28,325 for permission is both a sign of trust 186 00:07:28,465 --> 00:07:29,925 and how they feel about the dynamic, 187 00:07:30,385 --> 00:07:32,925 but reclaiming that ability and making it Yeah. 188 00:07:32,925 --> 00:07:36,205 Something that is under, to a certain extent, their control 189 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:38,445 that they are choosing to be in that situation. 190 00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:40,565 Not everybody who's into kink 191 00:07:40,565 --> 00:07:42,245 and power exchange does that 192 00:07:42,275 --> 00:07:43,925 with their past, but some people do. 193 00:07:43,925 --> 00:07:46,925 - Some people do. And, and they find that as a way to heal. 194 00:07:46,985 --> 00:07:48,605 Mm-Hmm. . Um, you know, 195 00:07:49,105 --> 00:07:52,525 one other thing I'm thinking of kind of muddling, 196 00:07:52,885 --> 00:07:55,445 noodling this a little bit, you know, this, I, 197 00:07:55,565 --> 00:07:57,365 I think there could be a possibility. 198 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,845 The, the big D is overthinking Yes. 199 00:07:59,865 --> 00:08:01,445 Things a little bit too much. Yes. 200 00:08:01,745 --> 00:08:05,885 Um, you know, it, it is wonderful that you want to help and, 201 00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:07,165 and support your partner. 202 00:08:07,365 --> 00:08:10,645 I think that's fantastic. And you should, you know, um, 203 00:08:11,085 --> 00:08:13,685 I think maybe on this, this little tidbit, 204 00:08:13,685 --> 00:08:15,925 it might just be a bit of overthinking. 205 00:08:16,345 --> 00:08:19,605 - Yes. And I, you know, I think in this case it comes from 206 00:08:20,075 --> 00:08:21,085 care and devotion. 207 00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:22,525 Mm-Hmm. and wanting the sense 208 00:08:22,525 --> 00:08:24,445 of responsibility of being both a good dumb 209 00:08:24,465 --> 00:08:25,485 and a good partner. 210 00:08:26,025 --> 00:08:28,325 Um, and that's why I go back to the original point of, 211 00:08:28,345 --> 00:08:30,285 if your partner is clearly stating 212 00:08:30,515 --> 00:08:31,885 that this is what I want, Mm-Hmm. 213 00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:33,045 , this is what I need, 214 00:08:33,155 --> 00:08:34,445 this is what works for me. 215 00:08:34,545 --> 00:08:36,085 And again, get clarification. 216 00:08:36,545 --> 00:08:40,845 If you're, if you need to hear the words from her, no, I, 217 00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:43,285 I do this because I want this, then ask for that. 218 00:08:43,385 --> 00:08:45,485 See, you know, if, if that is accurate. 219 00:08:46,105 --> 00:08:49,605 But the fact that, you know, they're saying it, 220 00:08:49,705 --> 00:08:53,165 you've gotta tell your overthinking brain that, that 221 00:08:53,515 --> 00:08:55,525 that is about their consent 222 00:08:55,525 --> 00:08:57,525 and autonomy just as much as anything else is. 223 00:08:57,575 --> 00:09:01,205 Right. So yes, it kind of, maybe from the 224 00:09:01,205 --> 00:09:03,165 outside looks like the past, 225 00:09:03,745 --> 00:09:07,245 but based on how she feels, how secure she is, the, 226 00:09:07,245 --> 00:09:09,685 the trust you have between each other, how you treat her, 227 00:09:10,105 --> 00:09:11,205 all of the things, 228 00:09:11,625 --> 00:09:13,925 it is a fundamentally different experience. 229 00:09:14,745 --> 00:09:16,445 And anytime you're unsure, just check in. 230 00:09:16,865 --> 00:09:19,205 Um, but yeah, I do, I think you're right. 231 00:09:19,285 --> 00:09:22,245 I think it, it's a bit of overthinking as long 232 00:09:22,245 --> 00:09:24,125 as the conversations are being had 233 00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:28,205 and the sheet is continuing to communicate with you, right. 234 00:09:28,425 --> 00:09:30,725 Um, about those things. Like if you were just making 235 00:09:30,755 --> 00:09:33,405 assumptions and there had been no conversations, 236 00:09:33,405 --> 00:09:35,365 that would actually be a similar 237 00:09:35,365 --> 00:09:36,445 point, but a different point. 238 00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,685 Like she's clearly stating, Hey, 239 00:09:38,685 --> 00:09:39,725 this is, this is what we do. 240 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,765 Mm-Hmm. . And if you want to, 241 00:09:40,865 --> 00:09:42,205 if you just wanna check in one more time 242 00:09:42,205 --> 00:09:43,725 and go, okay, this is what you said. 243 00:09:44,465 --> 00:09:45,565 Is this what you want? 244 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,725 You know, you can tell me if this is not what you want. 245 00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:49,325 If you want things to be different, as long 246 00:09:49,325 --> 00:09:50,645 as she knows she has that freedom 247 00:09:50,785 --> 00:09:53,165 and you keep reiterating she has that freedom, 248 00:09:53,545 --> 00:09:54,645 not obsessively . 249 00:09:54,645 --> 00:09:58,285 Yeah. No, but just like as it makes sense to go, hey, 250 00:09:58,385 --> 00:10:00,085 you know, if something's different, if something needs 251 00:10:00,085 --> 00:10:02,925 to change, the more you make her, you know, allow her 252 00:10:02,925 --> 00:10:05,605 to feel safe and give her that space to be who she is, 253 00:10:05,785 --> 00:10:08,165 the more she's gonna figure out for herself, 254 00:10:08,855 --> 00:10:11,005 these are things I do because I want to do them 255 00:10:11,005 --> 00:10:12,805 because they are, they feel right to me. 256 00:10:13,105 --> 00:10:15,365 And maybe these are things that I thought I was supposed 257 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,725 to do and I can let go of them, but that's a time thing. 258 00:10:18,545 --> 00:10:21,645 And 20 years of a bad experience versus three years 259 00:10:21,665 --> 00:10:25,525 of a good, it can, they're not even remotely equal. 260 00:10:25,545 --> 00:10:28,085 The good experience, you know, 261 00:10:29,805 --> 00:10:32,245 I did not have that kind of past experience. 262 00:10:32,245 --> 00:10:34,885 I will not even compare my past experiences to that. 263 00:10:35,705 --> 00:10:40,165 But, you know, three years with a three years 264 00:10:40,185 --> 00:10:42,405 of good does a lot. 265 00:10:42,505 --> 00:10:43,965 It is very powerful. It is. 266 00:10:44,105 --> 00:10:46,245 It can be life changing, 267 00:10:46,865 --> 00:10:49,965 but it still not a, 268 00:10:50,145 --> 00:10:53,885 an it still is not equal to 20 years of the bad. 269 00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:56,285 Right? Yeah. So there will be some shifting 270 00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:57,405 and changing, I'm sure. 271 00:10:57,425 --> 00:10:59,725 But that's also how relationships work in 272 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:00,765 general and power exchange works. 273 00:11:01,065 --> 00:11:04,325 So the things that work for her today in your power 274 00:11:04,685 --> 00:11:07,565 exchange, um, might shift 275 00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,965 as you move forward in your relationship for Yeah. 276 00:11:10,965 --> 00:11:13,045 Partly because people change, partly because, right. 277 00:11:13,115 --> 00:11:14,805 Your sense of safety and trust change. 278 00:11:14,905 --> 00:11:17,965 You hopefully, and I think based on this, it would deepen 279 00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:20,965 and then you can do more that you maybe couldn't do before. 280 00:11:21,065 --> 00:11:23,845 And she may get there as well. Mm-Hmm. . 281 00:11:23,845 --> 00:11:24,845 But yeah. 282 00:11:25,305 --> 00:11:27,885 So the recap is trust your submissive 283 00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,165 when they tell you mm-Hmm. 284 00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:30,325 that that's something that they want. 285 00:11:31,305 --> 00:11:33,085 And when in doubt just check in 286 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,845 and say, Hey, I need clarification. 287 00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,925 And admit that your brain is like telling you something 288 00:11:37,925 --> 00:11:40,645 that you feel like is probably not accurate, but you're, 289 00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:43,405 because it's actually a good sign. 290 00:11:43,465 --> 00:11:47,365 You care so much about not causing harm, 291 00:11:47,995 --> 00:11:51,165 that it's leading you to doubt things within your dynamic. 292 00:11:51,465 --> 00:11:55,925 You're submissive as just as capable of providing comfort 293 00:11:56,025 --> 00:11:59,605 and reassurance and help as you are providing it to them. 294 00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:04,885 So let them Yeah. Is what I would say. Yeah. Yeah. 295 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,085 So hopefully that helped, right? A little bit. 296 00:12:08,825 --> 00:12:11,085 Thanks for listening to this week's q and a episode. 297 00:12:11,145 --> 00:12:12,965 If you want us to answer one of your questions, 298 00:12:13,035 --> 00:12:16,165 just use the contact page on our website@lovingbdsm.net, 299 00:12:16,345 --> 00:12:17,965 or you can find the link in the show notes. 300 00:12:18,385 --> 00:12:20,885 Big thanks as always to our kinky community over on Patreon, 301 00:12:21,015 --> 00:12:23,245 we're able to do this podcast and keep it going 302 00:12:23,245 --> 00:12:25,045 and help Sters due to your support. 303 00:12:25,385 --> 00:12:27,045 If you'd like to be part of our community 304 00:12:27,045 --> 00:12:28,405 and get access to extra content 305 00:12:28,505 --> 00:12:30,725 and a Discord server with a group of super cool, 306 00:12:30,725 --> 00:12:32,325 super nice kinks, you can do that. 307 00:12:32,475 --> 00:12:35,045 Just join us at patreon.com/klos. 308 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:38,685 That's patreon.com/kloss. Or use the link in the.