- You are listening to the Loving BDSM podcast,
episode 3 77.
Kayla Lord's here with the one, the only the person
who may love his dog more than he loves his wife.
John Brownstone. I love you both equally, equally, .
Anyway, this week
we're gonna go over some uh, times
that BDSM has been in the news recently.
This episode is full of opinion
and conjecture and speculation.
We know nothing for a fact.
just putting that out there, .
Uh, and Lola knows she's loved.
She is left from getting head rubs
and is gone to lay on her cott
and think about how her daddy loves her best of all.
But I'm not bitter. It's fine 'cause I love her too.
It's fine. It's fine.
, welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast.
This is your first time listening. Glad to have you.
If you're back for another week, welcome back.
Loving BDSM is produced every Friday
for your kinky pleasure in education.
And show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net.
Come back often and feel free to add the podcast
to your favorite podcast app.
You can also follow the show on Fe Life at Loving BDSM pc.
What is our name there? I don't know.
Loving b Dsm pc.
The PC stands for podcast on Instagram
and technically threads at that handle.
I will Forever Fucking Hate Loving DSS. And the number one.
So that's at Loving DS one.
Or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving
bdsm, where you can watch us live.
Stream the podcast every Wednesday.
All links are in the show notes.
Uh, I just wanna let you know, as of today,
the day this episode comes out,
the Kry is having one more sale
before the end of the year, uh,
starting today, December 18th.
Uh, if you spend $35
or more, uh, you get free standard shipping on your order
with code free shipping 23.
Do not worry about memorizing that.
I'll have it posted on the website, the kry.com .
This is for us orders only on this one, y'all.
I, we try to do things that are open for everybody,
but free shipping, y'all.
International shipping is expensive. Okay? .
So if you're ordering Christmas gifts, if you're ordering,
uh, stuff for your New Year's, uh,
kinky Fuckery if you're ordering, maybe not Hanukkah
'cause it's already started and it'll be done by the 15th.
But maybe Winter Solstice like now is the time. Mm-Hmm.
, take advantage of free shipping.
Get, uh, get some, get some fuckery
before the end of the sale, which is December 13th.
Okay? Uh, the only thing that the, you can get it in time
for your holiday that won't be true is anything we
make with resins.
So, resin lay paddles
and canes with resin handles, those are made to order.
And there's a four week processing time at this point.
So if it's already made
and you order within the time of this sale,
we should be able to get it to you in time for your holiday.
But think of your holiday dates.
You will know better than I what your holiday of choice is,
- and, and, and when you need it.
And, and don't forget, no matter how you ship,
whether it's post office or U-P-S-U-P-S
or FedEx, they are jam packed.
- Things are slowing down, running right now. Yeah.
So the earlier you can order the better.
So that's why we like to do this sale. Mm-Hmm.
from December 8th to December 13th.
Any US order, $35
or more, you can get free standard shipping with the code,
coupon code free shipping 23.
Just go to the ry.com/shop if you want.
Or just go to the ry.com and start looking around.
And when you check out if your order is shipping in the US
free shipping 23 is the code.
You'll get the option
to get free standard shipping on your order
link in the show notes.
We okay now
- And away we go. Really,
- Before we get into the topic, , I would like
to say thank you to educated for sponsoring us once again.
Yes. Okay. We've been talking about educated
for a long time.
Mm-Hmm. , if you've been in here
for a hot minute, you've heard of educated.
But this is a great time
to think about educated for yourself.
If you don't know, educated is basically an online learning
platform, but it's all sex and relationships and kink.
Like, it's, it's not, you know, how
to draw a cartoon character.
It's how to draw a cartoon character on your partner's clit.
I mean, maybe that might be in there.
, um, with your tongue. You know what I mean?
Like, there's that.
Um, so right now educated is, uh,
letting you maybe find a good holiday gift
for less and give the gift of pleasure,
of better communication.
Maybe a little bit of extra kink you haven't tried before.
Whatever, whatever. Uh, when you, uh, buy an annual
yearly pass and use the code Loving you save 40% off,
believe that's like an $80 savings.
Like, it's, it's not a small amount. Mm-Hmm. .
It's a decent amount. And the nice thing is you can gift
that to like a partner,
but you can both, you know, benefit from it.
You can gift it to a friend.
You're like, oh, we are that kind of friend
and I know that we can talk about this stuff.
And if I give this to you, that won't be weird.
- It's a win-win. - It is a win-win.
Um, so I will always say, I want their kink side
to go deeper, be more.
But they are constantly adding classes.
And the classes that they offer, the educators,
the kink ones, it's the one that I care about.
They're legit kink educators.
Like, they're not like randos off the fucking streets.
So you're gonna get legit, uh, education.
If you are not into this, into sex
and you don't want, you don't,
that's not what you're there for.
You can learn about communication.
You can learn about parts of kink
that aren't necessarily sexual if you are about the sex.
There's all kinds of stuff there.
Um, and yeah, so just
take a look whether you're gonna give yourself the gift
of pleasure or somebody you know,
make sure you use code Loving, use the link in the places.
Okay. Use Code Loving. Save 40% educated.
It's just, it's the thing.
Get educated about sex pleasure relationships. Kink.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thanks. Educated .
Okay. Oh,
and I do wanna say one day you get for free,
like you can look around
and if you're like, uh, no thank you,
then you know about, you're fine.
But you also get a 14 day money back guarantee.
So if you're really dissatisfied in some way, you got time.
So just code in places. No Lincoln Places code is loving.
We're chaotic today. . Oh, I'm sure.
I'm sure Educated is grateful for that.
, whatever that was. . Okay.
So it's A-B-D-S-M in the news episode. Mm-Hmm.
, uh, I don't remember
how we did it the first time, but
this is how we're doing it this time.
'cause this is how my brain's working today.
Um, these are different stories
that I shared in our weekly newsletter.
Um, there's a whole section at the top usually
of BDSM in the news.
And if I come across something, sometimes it's actual news,
like these are, and sometimes it's like, here's an article,
a mainstream site published.
Well go read it. Here's an interview, whatever, whatever.
But it's kink related. Um, these are headlines
that ended up over the course of, I think November,
maybe a little longer.
Maybe October. No, all November.
Uh, in our newsletter, you can subscribe
to our newsletter for free.
If you do you get, uh, A-B-D-S-M checklist.
Um, it's some we're,
we've got people signing up all the time
for the newsletter, which is great.
And then I send out a newsletter on Fridays every Friday.
I'm consistent like that. And then people unsubscribe
and I'm like, but what did you think we were doing here?
I told you I was gonna send you a newsletter.
It's also okay if you unsubscribe.
Like my feelings are hurt. I just always find it funny.
like, you were fine being on the list
until I did the thing I said I was gonna do anyway.
So for folks who do get our newsletter every Friday
and you pay attention to that section,
some of these will be familiar.
Mm-Hmm. . So, um, I'm gonna
give a synopsis of it.
The headline. Okay. And then a quick synopsis.
Links to the actual articles are in the places.
So if you wanna read the full thing
and maybe get greater context
or greater details that I might not give
here, you can do that.
And then we are going to just give our opinion
or talk about the things that stood out to us
or ask random questions that are unanswerable.
'cause we don't know any of the people involved,
but we're just gonna talk about 'em
because sometimes kink ends up in the news sometimes
for great reasons, sometimes not,
sometimes for funny reasons.
May the odds be forever in our favor. Okay.
The first one, I'm gonna put a content warning on this just
because we are going to mention, uh,
assault like briefly.
Um, I don't think we're gonna get into details
'cause the story didn't necessarily get into details.
Okay. But if you're like, Hmm, nope.
I would say give us 10 minutes.
Uh, if you are looking at the, the screen on YouTube,
I'll like wave when you can come back.
Okay. So mute us. Do whatever you gotta do. Fast forward.
If it's like the podcast, whatever,
if you want to know better.
This one, I don't, I don't blame you.
So the headline is 68%
of women have had a non-consensual experience while
trying BDSM.
Uh, the article was, uh, published when I saw it.
It was the UK Yahoo News site on November 1st.
I believe it was originally published over in Cosmo
Cosmopolitan online version.
I don't know if they printed it in their magazine.
Does Cosmos still do print magazines? I don't know.
So lemme give you the rundown based on the article.
So the research that showed 68% of women have gone
through this, uh, was carried out by kinked, a dating app
for BDSM and kink enthusiast.
And that showed that 68% of female respondents claimed
to have had a non-consensual kinky experience
with people they'd met online who claimed to be into BDSM.
I wish I could be shocked by that. Yeah.
Um, of more than 3000 women who use online dating apps,
I guess that's the amount that were surveyed.
More than half said they experienced a violent
or degrading act that hadn't been agreed upon
with prior consent.
And then according to another site, bed Bible, uh, ownership
of BDSM equipment such as rope
and whips has increased with 23%.
Having used some them, some form of it in 2023
compared to only 14%.
I think that was to show that there's been an
- Increase Increase Yeah. In
- Curiosity or play or experience in some form of king.
- And that I'm not surprised by No, me neither. Okay.
No, because there, you know,
especially since 50 shades.
- Oh yeah, - Yeah, yeah. For sure. Okay.
Which really brought BDSM into
the limelight, so to speak.
Mm-Hmm. . There, there have been other movies
and, and even, um, some streaming shows.
Mm-Hmm. , you know, that deal with BDSM.
Mm-Hmm. . So it's not shocking
that more people there, more people are trying it.
- More people are buying things. Mm-Hmm.
more people are experimenting.
None of that shocks me. Um, I kind of wish I could like,
take them all by the hand and go Okay,
but there's there's some rules that need to apply
- Here. Exactly. And
- Communication and consent are the top . Yeah.
- Like Yeah.
And, and unfortunately, I'm, I'm not surprised
by the other percentage, you know, with, with women 68%.
- Yeah. The new, the added nuance.
'cause that's not what the headline said,
which is why you can't just go by headlines.
All right. You gotta read the article. Of the 68% had had a
non-consensual kinky experience
with somebody they met online that claimed
to be into bdsm Mm-Hmm.
, which means either they just said they were
into BDSM, they did it like a net
to see who they could attract.
Right. Or they think they're into BDSM.
And what they're into is abuse. Right.
Because non-consensual BD SSM is abuse. Sorry.
That's what that is. Non-consensual
anything is, but you know what I mean?
Like, like what are we doing here?
Like, I know people are gonna do it and I can't stop 'em.
And even though that makes me annoyed, like don't, don't
wrap yourself in the trappings of kink
and then do all of the wrong things,
like non consensually doing anything to a partner.
- Right. Um, I - Mean, I,
- I wish that we could do that for all.
And I, I say that I'm not shocked by that number. No.
Uh, and part of that is
because I have actually
run across a number, uh, of women on social media,
you know, talking about things like
- This. Oh yeah. For sure.
- And you know it when, you know,
just in my bubble of alone of people that I,
that I follow Mm-Hmm.
. And I, I see this recurring theme
that tells you something. Oh
- Yeah, for sure.
I mean, there's, there's lots of things going on here.
'cause it's a nuanced thing. Mm-Hmm.
the things that I commonly see are, um, either
somebody is hooking up with a ster
or somebody that they think is a ster Mm-Hmm.
. And they've said, I want to do this thing.
And then they start doing that thing,
and then the person throws something else in there
that wasn't discussed, negotiated,
or maybe was said, I don't wanna do that.
And they either pressure the person
or they just outright fucking
do it. Mm-Hmm. . And
- The, - The person who like,
thought they had negotiated a thing they were gonna do is
thrown completely off because you've just added something
in that they didn't consent to.
Right. Regardless of, you know,
how they end up feeling about it.
It's more like, but we didn't talk about this.
The, one of the other things that I see is actually not
with sters necessarily.
It's actually with non-kin sters of thinking that things
that many kinky people would go, that's,
that's very serious and dangerous.
And what are you doing? And just like doing it.
Like, it's nothing. Breath play being a big one. Right.
Like, yeah. Why are you choking people
without having a conversation?
And also, why, why don't you consider
yourself kinky? I'm just, and and,
- And another thought that comes to me on on this is,
you know, you're on a dating site.
Mm-Hmm. . Alright.
And, and dating sites can be a nightmare.
- Oh my God. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that
- .
I'm so glad. It, it, it is a quagmire
to navigate. Mm-Hmm. .
- Mm-Hmm. - , you know, and,
and vetting people in, in the BDSM lifestyle
is, is a must. Mm-Hmm.
- . - Mm-Hmm. .
You know, that's why you, you attend munches.
That's why you attend workshops.
You know, you, you talk to people.
You, you see, you know, you know, for for,
for all the misgivings of fe life,
you know, you can go there.
You, you can see what groups they're involved
in, what Right.
You know, what communities they, they are involved in.
And on a dating site you have nothing,
but you don't have any of
that other than their word. Right.
- And to be clear on fe life, somebody can
fake their profile and make themselves look great.
They can actually think that they're active members
of certain groups as well and still be shitty people.
- Yeah. But the thing is, with, with that on fet,
with seeing this, you have the opportunity to say, oh,
they're a member of this community.
Who are the community leaders?
Let me reach out to them and find
- Out.
And here's the thing, here's the thing. I agree with you.
We've given that advice. Mm-Hmm. .
But I wanna be realistic about the people who do that.
Because let's be real, the people who are willing to do
that are either people who just do that
for everything that's just Mm-Hmm.
their way of navigating life. Yeah.
Or people who have been in kink long enough
to have gained both the knowledge
and the confidence to do that.
There are some people who, who walk, who rock up to kink
and go, yeah, I already have, I'll do it.
It's fine. I wanna be super safe.
But most people won't. Right.
I mean, I think that
ta just taking a look at somebody online
beyond their dating profile in fat life,
their hidden Instagram
that you somehow manage to find, I don't know how you do it.
I'm not that good. But you do it. Mm-Hmm. .
And you figure out who they really are. I think
that's an important step.
Doing your research on somebody to the best that you can.
And yes, I highly recommend actually vetting somebody if you
can see that they say they're part of this group,
reaching out in a DMM
and going, Hey to the community leader,
Hey, do you know this person?
Can you tell me anything? I do recommend that.
I think that's Yes, please do that.
But I also wanna be realistic.
A lot of people aren't gonna do that.
They might not take somebody at their word.
I think too many people will take them at their word
and then they will, they will be.
- But it's, it's something that people should be doing. Yes.
It's important for them to do. I know.
'cause let's face it, you get into the,
you go into the wrong per get in
with the wrong person. That's your life.
- I understand, and I agree with you completely.
But there's a difference between what we know people ought
to do and then dealing with the reality of what people do.
Mm-Hmm. . And so I, I think that yes,
everything you've stated is a very good thing to do.
Please do it. I would encourage you, even if you're scared,
I promise you, if you dmm somebody on FetLife who claims
to be a community leader, and you ask,
Hey, do you know this person?
What can you tell me? The good responsible ones will do
their best to, to give you as honest answers they can.
Okay. Yes, please do it.
But also, the thing we go back to, you
and I have gone back to many times over the years, is
to not just listen to somebody's fucking words.
'cause anybody can say anything,
but to pay attention to their actions.
Actions. Yes. And if anything, anything gives you
that, like Hmm.
Is something off here, you don't have
to justify it to yourself.
10 ways, uh, up and down. Mm-Hmm.
to be able to be air quote, allowed
to go, yeah, I'm gonna Nope.
Out of this. Yeah. You know, if something feels
off, slow down.
Stop. Trust your gut instincts. Right.
And that trust your gut instincts.
And that is a, a skill that not everybody has true.
But sometimes you, you gain the skill by just practicing it.
And you go, if something doesn't feel
right, I'm gonna slow down.
The person who's most likely to be legit is gonna
respect the slowdown.
Um, the, I mean, there's no perfect way
to avoid all abusers.
I, god knows, I wish there was. Um, but yeah.
Uh, my thing is pay attention
to their actions way more than their words.
Way more than their profile.
Their profile's a good starting point. Mm-Hmm.
. Um, you know,
if this is when you start doing your internet cyber
investigation, not quite stalking
'cause we don't wanna do anything
illegal, but, you know Mm-Hmm.
where you track them down Yeah.
And you're like, wait, I found your hidden blah, blah, blah.
Yeah. Yeah. Use that information.
Um, but it's still not surprising to me
and it's not surprising to me
because it is very easy for somebody to say,
we will do this thing
and then decide that they're just gonna
do what the fuck they want.
And add an element of something that's non-consensual
and somebody didn't want, which then potentially ruins the
experience of kink for that poor person
who maybe they're super kinky.
Maybe this could be the best
thing that ever happened to them.
But they thought they were doing everything right.
They negotiated a mm-Hmm.
kinky sex or a scene or a whatever. And yeah.
This motherfucker throws in something
that they did not consent to.
Right. And now they get to walk away going,
is this what kink is?
Yeah. For 68% of women maybe. Fucking so, yeah.
And that's part of the heartbreak.
There's lots of heartbreaking things on this kind of thing.
Mm-Hmm. . But that's part of the
heartbreak to me Sure.
Is because you had the very bad luck to run into
that motherfucker, whoever that motherfucker might be.
Mm-Hmm. now, you know. Yeah.
You you have a very understandable
but jaded view of what kink can be.
Yeah. And I'm just, I don't like it, is what I'm saying.
Um, so yeah.
Okay. Anything else you'd like to add about this one?
I didn't. No. I mean, I, did I, am I the one
who planned this and put all these together
and understood what I was like ordering them?
Yes. Did I really mean to have us go in hot ?
Not really. Not really.
But here we're, now I'm gonna wave at the camera
for anybody who had muted us.
Yeah. Which will be different from my,
uh, random hand waving.
I do. 'cause I speak with my hands.
I'm waving for anybody who's muted us. Okay.
, the next one does have a content warning as well,
but it's a different content warning .
Wow. Um, wow. Okay. And this next one is heavy too.
And then I think I end on a sort
of light one, so we'll go with that.
Okay. Okay.
This next one, uh, the content warning is
for mentions of violence.
Not anything like super, let me double check myself
a l there's a couple of details,
but we don't go into the weeds on it.
But if you're like, mm. Nope. And it's about murder, so, mm.
If you need to mute this one
or fast forward for podcast listeners.
Um, yeah. And I will put timestamps in
as well after the stream.
So YouTube folks. Mm-Hmm.
can navigate this better. But yeah,
this one has content warning for mentions of violence.
The headline murder of BDSM, queen
Ensnared, the famous and powerful.
Now, this article was originally published in the Toronto
Sun on November 14th,
and the crime actually occurred in 1997.
So we're like in a true crime unsolved
mystery kind of situation.
Okay. So this is nothing recent,
but yes, it absolutely affects real people.
Um, and so
this is stuff I definitely didn't know in 97.
I was 18, so this would never have crossed my radar. Mm-Hmm.
. So, um, the air quote, BDSM Queen,
uh, is named, was named Nadia Frey.
She was a pro dom, known as Mistress Hilda Pierce.
Um, she worked in New York.
She was originally from France, immigrated
to the US at some point, um,
and was doing her thing in New York, in Manhattan.
Okay. So the details of the crime, uh, on Saturday,
July 26th, 1997, she was discovered in her seventh floor.
They, the article called it a layer
on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
And they consistently called her dominatrix. So, okay.
The dominatrix had been shot twice in the
chest, once in the neck.
And for good measure, she had been shot in the head.
I know, I know. Wow. Um, this is sad.
She was discovered by her daughter, who was also a pro dom.
Mm. Um, so apparently her apartment was her dungeon.
It's where she met customers and clients. Mm-Hmm.
, um, painted black and gold.
She had bars on things. She had her toys, she had her gear.
Like apparently when you walked in, you,
you knew you were there for kink is kind of
how the article described it.
Um, she even, like in her possession, had pictures
of clients, um, usually in some kink positions.
Now this is 97 digital cameras kind of, sort
of were becoming a thing, but they were not, like,
they became, it was the late nineties Mm-Hmm.
. So most of the time, you,
and if she'd been in business for a while, she,
it was probably like Polaroids
or developed pictures and Mm-Hmm.
. I would've loved to have been that, uh, no.
Well, photography place, late nineties.
Um, but she wasn't new.
She'd been doing this for a hot minute. True, true.
So any pictures would not have just maybe
been printed or something.
Correct. Right. Um, so
she did cater to the wealthy.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, she had politicians.
She just had wealthy people in New York
on her clientele list.
Yeah. Um, and she had a clientele address book.
'cause I don't know what people do now.
I don't know anything about being a pro predom
and would not even try to insert myself in
that conversation, but I am not surprised
that all those years ago it was a physical write it
down book, obviously.
- Right. That's what they, you know, the little, that's
what they used the little black book, you know
- That.
Yeah. So apparently a page from her address
book had been ripped out.
Mm-Hmm. . So it was figured
by the investigators or whatever
that the killer was probably a client
in those missing pages.
Yeah. Um, now they, the article from the Toronto Sun
clearly pulled from like, old articles or whatever.
Um, but, um, one of her clients that anonymously,
I guess went on the record, said that, um,
over time she became a lot more lax about security, um,
just letting anyone into her apartment.
Um, and the supposition from people who knew her was
that it was due to a cocaine relapse
that she was suffering with.
Um, one
of the potential suspects was a sportscaster
named Marv Albert.
That's not a name I know. Mm-Hmm.
, but I don't do sport ball. Um, who, uh,
it was so well known, I guess in the late nineties,
got interviewed by Barbara Walters.
Wow. And if you don't know that name,
you're younger than I thought.
Mm-Hmm. , I think most of us know that name.
Um, he, in, in the interview,
she apparently asked him about this.
He denied that he was into kink,
but his girlfriend said that she met Nadia,
the woman who was murdered.
Yeah. Uh, while he was trying to plan a threesome for the,
for the three of them to engage in.
Wow. So. Hmm.
Um, the murder is still unsolved even all these years later.
Um, according to the article, the, uh, her Nadia's daughter,
um, does not live in New York.
She moved several states away. Mm-Hmm. .
Um, I have no idea.
I was not gonna even try and track it down.
None of my damn business is she still pro dom? I don't know.
None of my fucking business.
Um, the heartbreak of finding anybody,
but certainly your own mother. Mother.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- That, that's gotta be tough. Yeah.
- That has got be tough.
That would fuck me up for the rest of my life. Yeah.
Um, so yeah, this is an unsolved case. Mm-Hmm.
, um, the article I read,
I did get the impression that they pulled from previous,
like, reportings, but also, um,
that, um, what am I trying to say?
That the people writing it were just sensationalizing thing.
Yeah. Her apartment was her layer. Mm-Hmm. .
Yeah. Um, you know, heavy use of the term dominatrix,
which is a term that's used,
I believe it's slightly outdated.
The, the term I see most often is pro dom.
I could also understand why somebody might not use the term
pro dom, because that sort of clearly implies that this is,
uh, work and Yeah.
Most, most publications would not. Mm-Hmm.
want to talk about that. Um,
and as somebody po as Andre pointed out, yes,
planning a threesome does not mean you're into kink,
but it does mean that he knew her.
Right. So, and that was another thing I think he
denied was even knowing her.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, so,
um, yeah.
The, the story itself was heartbreaking to me.
Um, especially the more they kind of talked about how
she stopped following her own security measures.
Mm-Hmm. , one of the quotes in the article,
I think was like, if you called her to say you wanted
to see her, she just let you up, like into her apartment.
Like whatever her protocols had been
prior to a certain point.
Mm-Hmm. , she just stopped. And, um,
- I mean, that, that could be possibly,
and I'm, you know, just guessing on something like this at,
at this point, you know, um, she may have been,
she had a specific clientele Mm-Hmm.
. And she became comfortable Yeah. Yeah.
With that clientele.
- Yeah. And I, it's hard, you know, it's hard to know.
'cause I, I recognize I'm reading a sensationalist story.
Mm-Hmm. . So they're gonna point out like
in the most just, uh, kind of way all of the,
the dirty little secrets.
So you have, you know, I'm reading it kind of going,
how much of this is accurate?
How much of this is conjecture? How much of it was Yeah.
The, yeah. Her clientele were the rich and powerful.
But, and I'm not a conspiracy theory kind of person,
but I am a, I believe that people can be shit at their jobs.
Um, Mm-Hmm. . And, you know,
did the police actually care enough to dig that deep?
Because I think in the article it even said like, um,
people in the police force,
like high up in the police force were also lawyers.
Like all kinds of people were in her, you know, her book.
Um, and so it's like, well, we're, you know,
I think I belie, I chose to think maybe the,
the Drug addiction relapse was, um, accurate.
I have to go back to the article.
I think there were a couple people who got quoted.
So I went, okay, maybe that's true.
Um, but yeah.
But it was like 90 and the headlines,
they showed a picture in the story.
If you click the link, you'll see it.
Of what, like the headline of the front page
or whatever of a, an outlet.
Mm-Hmm. . And it was like, it was
pure sensationalism.
And apparently by like 98 story disappeared.
Like, there, if anything was happening with it,
nothing was being publicized.
Um, but yeah, I think the thing that struck me sad story,
but also just the way everything was described in the
telling of it for the, for the outlet that did the article,
it was like, why do I feel slimy and dirty
after having read your words about this?
Yeah. Like, um,
I don't think you should be allowed to talk about kinky things.
'cause I don't think, I don't think
you're doing it quite right.
Um, I don't have a lot to say about it. No.
It, other than just to share that
that is definitely a thing that happened.
And it's very sad. Yeah. And it is unsolved.
And, um, you know, there's,
there's no way to know for sure what
- Actually happened, what, what really happened.
I, I mean, all these years and it's
that it's still a cold case. Yeah.
- I find it fascinating in a way that has nothing to do
with the, the case itself that mother
and daughter were in the same career.
Mm-Hmm. . I know that that happens.
Like we've talked about people that, you know,
and we know where, you know, parent
and child are both kinky and like Mm-Hmm.
, once the child is a legal adult,
the parent like, introduces them to the lifestyle and stuff.
Yeah. But, you know,
and I don't doubt for, for even an instant
that there are absolutely parent child, you know, parents
and children as adults who are doing the same career,
whether that's sex work or something else, obviously.
Um, but like, that was a little detail.
Like, I don't know what the purpose of the detail was
to share, but I was like, that is so cool.
Yeah. I was like, that's the story.
Movie, TV show, whatever I want to consume.
I wanna know about the mother daughter dynamic
of being in New York together and both being pro Doms.
And what, give me that Netflix show please. And thank you.
That's what I wanna see. What was that like?
What was that like? Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm.
. Yep. Yep. Um, I'd have to go back.
I think she was, um, an older woman, like, you know,
her daughter was legal adult to do it too.
So she was an older woman part.
Apparently, if I remember the article correctly, like part
of her selling point was she was like European
and like some, there was, oh, now I wanna find it.
I'm, I'm not gonna do that in the middle of the stream.
But there's a little line in there about something about not
her exoticness air quote that,
'cause that can be a loaded term.
Mm-Hmm. when we talk about people from other
cultures or other races.
And French is not another race, you know what I mean?
But it's like, I don't like to use that word.
Makes me feel yucky. Yeah.
I don't wanna call anybody exotic.
Um, but there was something that was like, she,
I think is a marketing thing.
Used the fact that maybe it was just she was European,
but like, that was a selling point.
You were gonna get a different kind of dom
because she was, she was French.
Um, and again, that's the story I wanna read.
Tell me about her life in that work.
It might have a tragic ending. I get that. Yeah. Yeah.
But tell me about her fucking life and what she did for work
and how she worked herself and Yeah.
I mean, let's have some conjecture about her clients
and, Hey, somebody got the ba the book
minus the missing pages.
Mm-Hmm. . Tell me about the clients. Right.
Like that, that's the Netflix show I wanna watch.
- There you go. Mm-Hmm.
. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. .
- Mm-Hmm. . That
would be endlessly fascinating.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Okay.
For anybody who avoided this one, I'm, you're gonna,
I'm gonna wave at the camera and there's gonna be timestamps
and I'm, this is me going.
Okay. We're moving on to the next one,
- .
- Uh, which is maddening,
but I don't, I don't think it's
one anybody would wanna avoid.
It's also, okay.
So the headline was,
Rhodes College cancels A-B-D-S-M 1 0 1 event
scheduled by the campus Chaplain .
Wait, what? Okay.
I know, but the first time I read the headline, I went, who,
who scheduled what now?
Yeah. Let's get into it.
And there's not much for me to get into.
And I'll tell you why about that too.
So the article was published,
the article I found was published November 17th on a news
station website, A BC 15 news.
WPDE, how, I can't remember
where Rhodes is out of Tennessee.
Is it North Carolina? Somebody
who knows about Rhodes College?
Um, you can chime in.
Uh, the campus chaplain is Beatrix, we Whale Weil wheel.
I don't know how to say her last name. WEIL.
She's the one that planned the event.
Uh, the schools, uh, notice,
like their official statement on why it was canceled is
because scheduling the event didn't go
through proper channels.
Mm-Hmm. . Okay. Um,
the BDSM 1 0 1 event would've allowed attendees to,
they would learn about some basics of BDSM consent,
safe words, um, safety practices, blah, blah, blah.
It also would have allowed them to
anonymously ask questions to the article quotes
as a dominatrix, but then defines just dominance.
Doesn't talk about professional.
So I don't know if the article misused the term dominatrix
or mis, uh, defined the term they used.
I don't know which. But basically
a dominant was gonna be there.
Mm-Hmm. and would, would answer their
anonymous questions for them.
Um, and here's the thing.
That's why I included just this story,
and I included it here because the way I learned about this
even happening .
So I get Google alerts for certain like terms,
and that's how I can find news stories
to put into the newsletter ta uh,
inside baseball, um, .
And I'm seeing these headlines in my Google my email,
and it's all like, clearly right wing, like super, super,
super conservative outlets.
And the headlines
and the synopsis are like total pearl clutching.
Like, oh my God, the youth of today are going to be forced
to do BDSM or some bullshit like that.
Right? Yeah. And I went, well, something's happening here,
but I'm not gonna use them as a source.
Mm-Hmm. . So I had to go do a search,
and I finally found what felt like the least
biased of anything.
It was a, a news outlet that's like, you know,
your local news station.
And the, the article was, it wasn't fully neutral.
'cause the only quote they got from a student was somebody
who was against the event occurring at all.
But apparently the event had been up just long enough
that there had been people who weren't going to attend.
Mm-Hmm. . So clearly there were people
who were in support of the event,
but also you understand why they wouldn't wanna be quoted
because then they're attached to kink.
And that can, that can be a thing. Right? Right.
That can be a negative thing. Um, when I went back to prep
for this episode to talk, to get more details,
to see if there were more details,
the only things I could find in quick Google searches,
like first couple pages of Google was
all super conservative Pearl Clutchy things,
and then one opinion piece
that was in support of the idea of it.
And I didn't know that person from a hole in the ground.
So I was like, I don't know if they're credible,
but it's nice to see a supportive article.
And then an article actually on Perez Hilton's website
supportive of the event
and pointing out that the only reason this became a thing
was because, um, far right.
People got a hold of the story, blew it up outta proportion,
made it a huge deal.
And apparently it kind of went up the pipeline
of like small sites that not of a lot of people know about
to larger, larger,
I don't know if it made it all the way to Fox News.
I didn't go look at that .
Um, and so just kept being blown out proportion. Yeah.
And you know, anybody who thinks all
of us kinky people are degenerates who should not be allowed
to like, walk around freely, we're just,
oh my God, what is happening?
Yeah. Um, and I, you know, salacious detail,
that's not something that you would think a
chaplain would organize.
Right. But also,
and this was a detail in one of the super biased articles
that apparently was supposed to like, make us mad at her.
Oh, well this chaplain on their like Instagram page clearly,
um, supports LGBTQ plus people.
And I was like, that's not an indictment. That's
- Yeah.
- Very encouraging - , right? Yeah. Thank you
- So much.
Yeah. To this person who Mm-Hmm.
hopefully still has their job.
I couldn't Right. It, the, the noise about
that I could find online when I tried to do a search was
so biased that I was like,
I don't even know what's real or not.
Yeah. Um, to my knowledge,
the chaplain has not made any public statements.
Um, the college there, that was kind of their end of, okay,
we're canceling it 'cause it wasn't scheduled properly. Um,
- So, you know, the, the, the one thing that's been running
through my mind, uhhuh all this time is
so you're claiming it wasn't scheduled properly.
If it was scheduled
- Properly, you would've - Allowed it.
Would you, would you have allowed it? Right.
- Exactly. Exactly. - Yeah.
- Yep. - Yep. You know, um, I I think it, it's,
it's marvelous that somebody wanted to,
um, put something like this together.
Yes. You know, especially at a college level.
Um, you know, this, this kind of goes into the whole thing
of, you know, let's face it, in, in, in
grade school years, um,
kids don't get any kind of sex education.
No. Okay. And, you know, the, the BDSM
aspect of it falls into the same thing.
Right. Okay. You know, one, it's not age appropriate. Right.
Right. Technically for, technically for college, college
- Campus is perfect. But yeah. For
- College, ca college campus is perfect.
And, and by that point, doing a one-on-one Mm-Hmm.
amazing. Right. 'cause
- There's so many general things you can learn,
even if you're not kinky Mm-Hmm.
that can benefit all of your physical, sexual,
whatever relationships going forward.
- Right. Yeah. You know,
and to be honest, you know, you look online,
yes, there are, there's a myriad of
of resources out there anymore.
You know, our podcast Pink King, you know, all
of them geek geeks freaks and kinks.
Right. You know, there, there's so many of 'em
that give good
- Information.
- Information. Right.
And yet on the downside, there's plenty
that does not give good.
I mean Yes. Exists information,
just like anything else exists does exist.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So for them to, you know,
put something like this on Mm-Hmm.
, you know, to, to give people a base
understanding of, of what this is and how it operates
and how it should operate and
how it should operate, you know?
Fantastic. Um, you know, rah rah brought up in, in the chat,
and I I agree completely with the line of thing.
I was thinking the same thing. You know, non kinky people
could benefit Yes, absolutely.
From, from this, because there, there is a lot of, of
what is done in the BDSM world that could work in,
in vanilla, in, you know, non-kin.
- And here's the thing, let's be real if more people
as adults, okay.
College level Mm-Hmm.
and up got access
to just in general decent basic BDSM information
and how things are supposed to operate within that.
Maybe it wouldn't be 68% of women report
non-consensual activity after they've negotiated something.
Maybe, maybe not.
I mean, 'cause you can't, you can't prevent
what somebody else is gonna do.
They're gonna do what they're gonna do. Right.
But maybe if somebody is better informed, then they
might be able to go, you're giving me a funny feeling.
No, thank you. Right. Or, Hmm.
I don't, you're just saying you think you're saying the
right words, but you're not, and they could
have a better chance of steering clear
of the people who would do something like that.
Right. Like .
And what drives me crazy is the only thing I can find about
it is the inflammatory.
How dare this person corrupt today's youth bullshit. Mm-Hmm.
, you know, the college campus is no
place for BDSM.
Really? Because I promise you,
college students are getting freaky in dorm rooms.
- . And, and I, I, I would absolutely are.
I would almost guarantee you there is a lot
worse things going on.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Okay.
You know, um, I, I was in,
in one hand shocked, but not, but then
after I thought about it, um, you know, when,
when we were at college
and we were walking to an event
and there was some construction going on there and,
and along the fence that where they had it fenced off,
there were numerous signs, if any
type of sexual inappropriate sexual
communication or or assault occurs on these sites on this
site from anybody working
here, report it.
Mm-Hmm mm-Hmm. , you know, and,
and there were numerous signs all along this fence.
You know, they wouldn't be posting something like that. No.
Unless there was a need to do it, which is fricking sad,
- The fact that, but you know what?
It, it just goes to show how bad things are
that I'm more impressed that they posted the signs at all.
Yeah. Yeah. Um,
- So you know, that, that tells you
something. Mm-Hmm. .
- Mm-Hmm. this story reminded me,
and I don't have any links and I don't have any details,
so I'm not, I can't, I'm not gonna be accurate.
And I, my memory, I'm sure mm-Hmm. .
But this story about the college, uh,
have potentially having A-B-D-S-M 1 0 1 seminar
or whatever, like, it was just like an evening.
It wasn't even like a, you know, one-on-one level class.
Although there are some colleges, I've seen those headlines
where people are like putting together classes that
I always read them as kind
of like a college kid sex ed class,
and they've got kink in it.
And those are fascinating to me.
If you ever get to take a course
like that, please tell me all about it.
I would like to know . Right.
But what this story puts me in mind, the reaction
that I saw online puts me in mind of are headlines I saw not
that long ago where, and I can't remember if it was the UK
or the us it might've been both where, uh, people
who were trying to ban all the things
that they don't personally agree with, um, were trying
to convince people and like seriously saying, apparently
with a straight face that, um,
elementary in, in elementary up to like high school age,
that people were seriously trying to teach kids about BDSM.
I was like, well, no, that's not how any of that works.
Right. First of all, anybody in a sch at a school age level
who would be qualified to teach about BDSM
would never admit they knew about BDSM.
'cause that's the quickest way to lose your fucking job
and your pension and your benefits.
And every school employee we've ever come across who's kinky
is like, I have no name.
I have no face. You don't know me. Yeah.
I have to be the most anonymous person ever. Mm-Hmm.
. So it's laughable
that you would think a school employee would be trying to,
I think the word they, the inflammatory word they used was
indoctrinate Yeah.
Kids into king.
- They, they like throwing that word around right now. So,
- Yeah.
I'm fucking kidding me. Yeah.
Um, and so this just feels like, you know,
another part of that Mm-Hmm.
. And at this, this stage, I, you know, the,
I think the, the college had to use that bullshit excuse
because I think it would've been
for some people, a harder argument to go, this adult
person cannot tell other legal adults about
this adult thing.
They could absolutely say, not on our campus. I mean Mm-Hmm.
, you get to say that kind of stuff. Right.
But, you know, it's almost like they had
to find a bullshit reason to, to say why it's scheduled,
because there's something happening
that they don't wanna say,
we find this inappropriate and we won't allow it.
Because that, I mean, I would've disagreed with that,
but that would've been the easiest one.
Right. We're not allowing that on our campus.
I'd say, I think you're missing a fucking opportunity.
Mm-Hmm. , please reconsider. Yeah.
But that's not what they went with.
They went with a technicality
because they something about it,
the college didn't wanna say, we don't want this here.
- Yeah. I mean, the, the thing that, that, you know, goes
with me with, with this, you know, it's, it's funny.
Um, I, I doubt very seriously, like you say,
that any teacher is going to be promoting, uh,
BDSM at no school staff Right.
At any level is gonna that because especially if a teacher
or, or someone in that is in the lifestyle, that's
- My point.
- They, they understand, you know, these are kids,
they're not, they can't consent. Right.
- They're gonna ideally understand that they're also
not gonna want their name attached to it.
Mm-Hmm. , holy fucking shit.
- Exactly. Now, when you're up at a, at a college level,
- It's different. It,
- These are adults, these,
these are legal adults at that point,
- We're supposed to treat them that way.
- Right. So they, at that point Mm-Hmm.
have the ability to say, Hey, I'm kind
of interested in this, or, you know, no,
that's not for me. Right.
- Right. And, you know, it, it
would be more surprising to me had the seminar
or the lecture or what the event been allowed to go forward
once there was out foe outrage.
Mm-Hmm. But outrage about it, um,
because I just can't
imagine, I'm sure it exists.
I just can't imagine, um, a college or,
or hardly any institution feeling outside pressure
and not caving to that outside pressure.
Mm-Hmm. Because BDSM is seen as taboo and deviant,
and we're all monsters who shouldn't be
allowed to see the lot of day .
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. We know, we know, uh,
we're having more fun than everybody else, so fuck you.
But, um, you know, I, I just,
the story itself was the fact that it was a,
it became a story was the interesting part to me,
because it only became a story
because people got outraged tr truly they got outraged,
or it was just to generate clicks and views
and have something to fucking talk about.
And then that is, as of right now,
if you google the elements of this story, that's the most of
what you're, you're gonna see Yeah.
That you're gonna, you're gonna see people, you know,
talking about how deviant it all is
and how dare this chaplain be allowed to what?
Talk to legal adults about a legal adult thing.
But I still, like, I still give a little side eye.
The college could have so easily gone,
this is not something we find appropriate for our campus.
Right. And no, I don't, again,
I would've disagreed and wished it would've been different.
Mm-Hmm. and gone. Wait. You totally could,
but nobody would've given side eye to that,
but they went with the technicality.
Yeah. Like, it's almost like they didn't care
that it was going to happen.
Mm-Hmm. they cared that they were in the new,
the right wing news cycle for it.
- Yeah. - And I just, I don't know.
I find that, I find that very interesting.
And if anybody ever comes across like a legit good source
that maybe has the, the chaplain's perspective
or any informa, like, feel free to share
'cause Mm-Hmm. , I'm, I'm
- Be curious. Yeah.
- Frustrated and fascinated by this. Mm-Hmm. .
Okay. The last one. There's not a lot to say about it. Okay.
, but I got a giggle. Okay. Okay.
This is the headline. Two men, one wearing
BDSM mask.
Okay. What taken down by Michigan State Police arrested
for firing shots, hitting a house.
So the article that I found was published on November 28th
on the Wwj News Radio nine 50 webpage.
Um, on November 21st, police were called out
to a home in Northern Michigan due to gunshots being heard.
A trooper arrived, heard gunshots, retreated
to a safe distance before announcing for whoever that was
to drop the weapon and come out with their hands up.
15 minutes later, two men came out cursing and yelling,
and one was wearing a quote,
BDSM style face mask.
Uh, they were belligerent with officers.
They had to like be taken down and arrested.
I don't know if they're out on bail or bond,
but I know bond was set for both of them.
Mm-Hmm. , I don't,
I think there might've been details about
what was happening if they had even figured that part out.
Yeah. They were going to court.
Like, but I didn't, this none of that was, I wanna know
what was the
- Mask.
Right. That's, yeah. Yeah. What was the mask? What was it?
They're considering it A-B-D-S-M mask.
- Right? Like what makes it kinky? Yeah.
I mean, it clearly wasn't a blindfold
or somebody would've been like
batting around and not Mm-Hmm.
. So was it, um, was it the,
the leather like puppy mask thing that I've seen?
Yeah. Was it a hood? Like, what the fuck was it? Or
- A lot of people use the, uh, the gas masks too. Yeah,
- Yeah.
Yeah. But see, and you would think, okay, well they'll,
that's a gas mask, but no BDSM style face mask.
Yeah. Yeah. And, and then I've got
- Questions or latex, - There you go.
Could've been latex too. And then I had questions like,
was this a kinking gone wrong?
Was the guy or somebody in the house
that they were at Kinky?
And they were like, I have to hide my identity.
This'll work. Mm-Hmm. Like, I have questions.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- I, and I, I think I did a quick look
and I don't think I found anything that said
that showed anything about what the mask looked like.
Yeah. If somebody has heard this story,
maybe you're in northern Michigan.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . This
is a local story for you.
Yeah. And you have the details.
, I need to know what the mask was.
- Right. Right. I mean, you know, thinking
this from what I'm reading, getting from
what you, from the story.
Mm-Hmm. , you know, these two guys went
somewhere and were shooting at a house.
Did they have they have a beef with somebody?
Did this guy wanna remain anonymous?
So he grabbed the first mask he had
and it turned out to be, and then
- Whose mask - Was it? Yeah. You know,
- That I just, I, I wanna know, I wanna know why
that mask. Yeah.
- What - That mask, , how that ma like, I just, and,
and, and the article I found there were no pictures.
There was nothing to show. Here's the mask.
And I guess 'cause it's
evidence or whatever, but it's like, Mm-Hmm.
You gave me this salacious detail, but then gave me no
- More Nothing.
Nothing to go. Yeah. To go.
- Ah, I know. It's such a dissatisfying.
- Left you hanging. It did.
- It did I, I got edged by a new story.
And then we had denial at the end.
And I'm like, I don't even,
I personally don't have enough experience with masks
to think of all the different variations.
Mm-Hmm. . But anybody in kink who has played
with masks can, can probably think of,
and we'll all be thinking of something different.
. Yeah. And then we can all still be wrong.
- Right. I mean, you know, pet play,
there's so many different kinds of masks now.
So many, you know, it used to be
in the early days it was mostly pony play.
Yeah, yeah. You know, for the pony mat.
But now you got the pup play, you got, you know,
cat play and you know Right.
Rabbit and, and all this like,
- Whatever your imagination can come up
with, somebody's probably made it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
- Yeah.
So, you know, there, there's all those kinds of masks.
Then, you know, there's people with latex masks
and, you know.
Yeah. So many, so many different things that it,
that could possibly be,
- And, and we've been denied.
We've been edged mindfuck
and denied whoever's reporting on this
is clearly a sadist.
So it's kinky all the way through.
Quite frankly, , like, if I recall, I don't,
maybe the news story I read from gave a few details
of what the fuck was going on.
Like crime wise,
I did not retain any of that. I just wanna know
- About the mask.
I mean, what they, they live in Michigan.
They didn't have a ski mask candy. Right.
- Nobody one would hope,
one would hope nobody would mistake a ski mask
for A-B-D-S-M style face mask.
Right. . And see,
then my little contrarian brain goes, oh, face mask.
Were we doing, was it, is it the kind you do
with when you're doing your skincare
and is there A-B-D-S-M style that I would like one.
- Right, right, right, right, right.
- Like I, I know we, we got left hanging,
but I was so delightful.
I almost didn't share it. 'cause I was like, oh,
this story is nothing about BDSM.
But then I put it in the newsletter
and I believe my little editor's note that I tend
to put under each one of these was like Mm-Hmm.
. I just wanna know what the mask
was. What's the mask?
- Peter Rose brought up And it,
it could be got, or, or Sting Punk. You
- Know?
It absolutely could be. Yeah,
it could be. It could've been the, um,
- I didn't even think of that.
You know, especially with steam punk, you know,
with the goggles and Right. You know.
- Yeah. And, and that's the other thing.
It could have had nothing to do with kink,
but a person who saw it, didn't know,
- Didn't know the ash, - The hole in the ground.
And they were like, oh yeah, this is kinky. Mm-Hmm.
I know, I know. But we still, we don't get to know.
It could have been the, what's the plague? Doctor Mask.
Now one would hope somebody would go, that's a plague.
Doctor mask. Like the, the, the long nosy thing and the
- Oh, with the, like the peak.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um,
but you, you should know that's a plague doctor.
Like, I don't know. So many questions,
- .
So
- I have so many questions and I'll probably never get an
- Answer.
You never know the answers. Yeah.
- But if you happen to be in northern Michigan,
and this is sort of a semi or actual local story,
and you ever get the detail, I'm begging that you share,
even if it's dissatisfying,
even if it was like the most vanilla fucking thing
and somebody went, oh, it's black.
So Yeah, it's definitely kinky or whatever. . Right.
Just I need the closure. I need the closure.
- . I need to know,
- Because either it's gonna be satisfying.
We'll be like, oh, now I have questions about what kind
of kink and how, how did somebody come into this Right.
And what were they doing with it? Or it's gonna be
dissatisfying and I was gonna go, yeah.
Fucking media. They don't fucking
know anything about kink. It.
- It could have been, it couldn't have been,
it could have been a, uh, CNC scene gone wrong.
You know? I know. I don't think
- Weren't involving guns loaded guns though.
- Well, yeah, I know. Right. You know,
- Seem safe.
, I don't think they were taking any risk, uh,
mitigation measures
- In that one.
know, playing, playing robbers or something,
you know, and ,
- I don't know.
I dunno. But that we started heavy. Yeah.
Started, we're ending on this one.
You now have been edged and mind fucked with us. Yeah.
None of us get to have the satisfaction of knowing. Mm-Hmm.
. Mm-Hmm. , um, , that
was it for this week's episode.
We will do a bonus section.
Uh, we will continue being chaotic
in the bonus section, of course.
Um, but yeah, that's all
I got. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm.
- . Mm-Hmm. . So, uh, are we good?
After all this, uh, insanity and chaos Yas?
- I don't think that's for me to say. Okay. Keep
- It, keep kinky - Y'all, and we'll see you next week.
God.
- Yes, baby girl. Can I - Talk to the crickets, please?
- You really want to talk to the crickets.
Do you have anything to say to the crickets?
Or if once I give you permission to talk
to the crickets, you can say, I ain't got nothing.
- I probably do. I can always find something.
- Okay. Well, in that case,
go ahead and talk to the crickets. Thank you
- Daddy.
. Um, I am loving what's happening in the live chat
right back here on YouTube where people are just guessing
what kind of mask it be.
Yeah. Yeah. Um, so feel free to play that game. .
Mm-Hmm. like, um, yeah,
I, I don't know.
That was fun. Um, bonus section stuff.
Uh, we're gonna talk about it more
and keep talking about it, and some folks have heard us talk
about it like ad nauseum.
We will be on our break the last two weeks of December.
Um, I think one
of the last things we'll do will be our YouTube live stream.
I believe that's the 15th.
Um, if it's not exactly the 15th, it's the Friday closest
to the 15th of December.
Um, I think we'll have a short video slash podcast episode.
Go live the following Monday,
and then we'll be quiet for two weeks.
Um, if you are a part of our Patreon community, uh,
you can always dmm us, um, through different channels
and we'll, it'll take me a hot minute,
but you'll get an answer eventually.
Um, but everything else will kind of shut down
for a couple weeks or we get a much needed break.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, so,
um, we are gonna be, I'm gonna try to have the details
for next week's episode, .
We're gonna be a vendor at a big
party in Gainesville.
Yes. On December 30th. Mm-Hmm. .
Um, I'll try
and put more stuff out about that, um, with links
and stuff, if you're in that area, can get to that area.
Wanna go to that area? Mm-Hmm.
, it's basically a spanking party.
Am I understanding that correctly?
- Um, kink. A kink party. Yeah.
- It's just a kink party. Okay. Maybe I'm con I might
be confusing it with another event.
We got invited to Mm-Hmm.
, that's a spank party.
That's a different event. Okay.
- That's a whole different one. Yeah.
- This is just a kink event. - This
is, this is just a kink
event. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. .
- Um, they'll have vendors,
- The, um, they're, they're gonna have several vendors
there, actually three that I know of.
Mm-Hmm. And we're, we're one of the three. Yep.
- So like, you can buy a toy and then go use
- The toy.
Yep. Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
Um, and, um, this, this person, they,
they are people, uh, they are, uh,
working towards organizing some events like this
in, in Gainesville.
Okay. Okay. Uh, which is really, really nice.
Uh, a lot of, a lot of things happening in,
in the local community here.
And I'm so happy to see, you know,
- I know you've gotten your community mojo back.
You're like, I would like to go out and be social. Yeah.
And I'm like, go forth
- , - Go forth and have a good time without
- Me.
. I, I, I'm, I, I, I kind of lost it for a while.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, Mm-Hmm. .
My, my head space, my,
my mental state has is getting better.
Mm-Hmm. doing much better. And, uh, yeah.
I'm, I'm once more venturing out into the, into the world
and, and enjoying Mm-Hmm.
these, these events.
- Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Yep.
You, um, the week, my mom was in town last week
and Tuesday was a month that for a long time you went
to like, regularly and then
for several months you didn't really go to at all
or very infrequently.
And you're like, I really wanna go to this month.
I know your mom's in town. I was like, no, no, no.
That's actually perfect. You go do your thing and me
and my mom and the kid will go do our thing.
Yeah. And then nobody has to feel guilty.
- And, and that, and that's kind of what I was hoping
for when I brought it up
because, you know, I didn't know you were gonna,
if you were gonna bring the youngest or not,
but I kind of figured, you know, I'd give you
and your mom some y'all time to Sure. You know?
- Yeah. It worked out perfectly. Mm-Hmm.
- . Mm-Hmm. - . Um, so Yeah.
Yeah. You're doing and you're doing a lot of things.
And also our area outside
of Gainesville has a thriving kink community,
but Gainesville, which this should not come as a surprise
to anybody, 'cause college kids are adventurous and kinky.
People live everywhere. But Gainesville has like a thriving
kink community from what I gather.
- Gainesville has, has a quite a bit, um,
kink community going on up there. Very.
- And stuff geared towards college kids.
- And the a a very, a very diverse Mm-Hmm.
community in Gainesville, uh,
which is really nice to see.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, you know, yes.
They, they have, um, you know, for, for younger, uh,
my understanding, they have a very big, um,
what they call the TNG, the next generation generation.
Mm-Hmm. that would make sense.
Which are, you know, from 18 to 30 mm-Hmm. .
Mm-Hmm. And, um, you know,
and that, that obviously is, is, you know, ,
you know, college town, you know.
Yeah. That makes total sense there.
That makes total, total sense there. Um, uh,
- If, if the kid figures out, I don't know if he is,
and I haven't asked, and that's not a conversation we have,
but if the kid figures out he's kinky
and we cross paths at a kinky band
- , oh gosh, - That's gonna
probably fuck with me a little bit. . I'm
- Just saying.
Um, you know, and,
and what's, what's nice to see, especially, um,
up there in Gainesville, which, which is kind of nice
because it does cross over here with, with us in Ocala.
Um, you know, they have, um, now, uh,
a number of different munches Mm-Hmm.
that, that are going on. Mm-Hmm.
. Um, and they are also doing, um,
a lot of family friendly Mm-Hmm. events.
- Yeah. I see them come through notifications from FetLife
of like, we're gonna do a game night,
we're gonna do a picnic.
Yes. We're gonna do a mm-Hmm. .
And I'm like, oh, y'all go have a good time being social,
- You know, uh, not do that with it,
with it being the holidays.
I, I saw today that they just posted they're going to do a,
uh, a, a cookie themed Oh, uh, social, you know, and,
and that that's for everybody in the family.
Um, there's, there's another group that, that is, um,
you know, dedicated a little bit more to health.
Um, and, and they have been doing, uh, monthly hikes Mm.
In, in a lot of the, uh, forests and parks.
- I'm gonna stay around here in my house in my soft clothes.
Mm-Hmm. by my damn self.
- So, you know, but y'all - Have a
- Good time.
And, um, the other thing that, that I'm really happy
to see is, um, um, Zonis,
who we know in the community, um, he has
put together and been approved for a, uh, Gainesville Mass.
Mass Oh. Chapter,
- Which is what does mass stand for?
- Uh, master and slaves together.
- Yes. I always forget. Mm-Hmm. .
- So, um, yeah.
That the, the first, uh, meeting of
that will be coming up this month. Oh
- Wow.
I'm certain you're going Yeah. Yeah. I figured. Yeah.
You have a good time. .
- I, I'll
- There.
Will I, I think if I can decompress a little bit over
the break Mm-Hmm.
and I can get my bearings with
my business identity is slightly shifting.
I'm not a freelancer right now slash anymore.
Um, but also I don't like, uh, that means goals
that we've had, like are a lot more important than they were
because I don't have freelancing
to fall back on Mm-Hmm.
. Um, I need to like, shift
and figure out myself and like, get some energy,
like re-energize, like just rest and, huh.
And I think that I will, I will never want to go do as much
as you want to go do .
I'm just not wired that way. Yeah.
But I think if I can like, find my balance
and my center again of like Mm-Hmm.
who I am and what I do,
I feel like I can give more energy.
'cause that thing being social requires a lot more
energy for me.
Like, it's just, it's, it's draining.
It's immediately draining. Yeah.
For a lot of different reasons, but I
wanna be there with you.
Yeah. And I also wanna go to places
where we can like order a nice little
appetizer and I can get a Diet Coke.
- I'm like, look at me. You know,
- I like that - Stuff.
I'll say, I will say this. Mm-Hmm. .
And I know it, it, the, the date may seem a little funny,
but, uh, the end of this month there is, uh,
the Ocala Munch coming up
and it is at a location very close to us.
- I know. And it's why like, I wanna,
I wanna like feel a little less drained
because it make one, it's a place I like to eat.
And two is like right down the road. Mm-Hmm.
like, it's easy to get there.
We could go together.
I know you're going no matter what, but like Yeah.
I don't wanna, I don't wanna never do anything
social with you .
Um, I just, I just don't, I just don't have it.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
We are, uh, somebody reached out to us, um, speaking
of events and it was the one I was talking about
where there's like a spanking theme to it.
Um, and asked us if we, uh, might be willing
to be a vendor at a, an event in Georgia
where the whole thing is about spanking.
And I'm like, I'm fucking here for that
- Spanking con. Right.
- , it's not what it's called, but that's what it is.
Yeah. Yeah. Um,
and I've still gotta figure out the logistics of,
'cause being a vendor would be probably affordable.
We could afford it. Yeah.
It's a, it's a long drive, but it's a drives distance.
Mm-Hmm. . But I don't know if it's like you
have to be there for the whole like four days
or if it's just a specific timeframe.
Yeah. And the other logistic part is, um,
can somebody watch the teenager?
Because if, if the dates fall away
or the timeframe falls away, I think it does.
Uh, one, I'm not gonna leave him home by himself for two
or three days overnight.
No. Like, that's not an option. But one of those days needs
to be, he needs to go to class.
Um, 'cause he's still in band even though he's,
he's homeschooling now.
Um, and my mother is the best one suited
that could watch him for that.
And, um, so, but she's planning, that's in March
and she's planning on going to visit, um, uh,
extended family in the UK in March.
And so I'm waiting on her to finalize her travel plans.
'cause she told me, I was telling her about this
and she was like, well if I, if we don't go to the UK
during those dates, I'll, I'll come watch the kid,
um, for you so you can go.
And I'm like, you and I don't give her details.
Like she understands that. Mm-Hmm.
, we are an adult business
and we do adult things, but we don't, we don't do details.
That's her boundary and I'm fine with it.
Please have that boundary.
But I'm like, you would, you would come travel here
for like three or four days to like, not really do anything
with a teenager other than give him a ride
and make sure he eats and probably spoil the fuck out of him
so I could go sell paddles.
Like I didn't say it like that. Yeah.
But I was like, and then I'm like,
'cause my mommy wants me to
succeed and I love that about her.
Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Um, so we
that's way unofficial. We have no
- Idea if we can do it yet.
We, we, we haven't. You brought it up to me, um,
a couple weeks ago I think.
- Yeah. 'cause somebody slid into our Kerrie dms
and I went, Ooh, email me about this.
And then I finally looked at the link
and like clicked the right thing
and got most of the information myself.
Mm-Hmm. . I just need to reach out
to the organizers and go, Hey, we might wanna do this, but
- Yeah.
- Help me understand the - Schedule. Need,
need some more information.
So yeah, you reach out, um, that, um,
I believe it's called gasp,
- Georgia Association.
Something, something Spanking, spanking
- Something, something.
Georgia Association of Spanking something. I think
- It's gas.
GAAS, I don't know. Oh. Or it's GASS. Mm-Hmm. .
I don't know. Somebody will know.
Um, so it's fine. Mm-Hmm.
. Um, so yeah. Way unofficial. Mm-Hmm.
. Um, and it, the timing works out perfect
because for my mom to come watch the kid, um,
it has to be at times when her
life in south Mississippi is like free.
Mm-Hmm. , like her and the evil stepdad, uh,
grow, cut and sell hay.
Now , I'm happy
for them if they're happy doing it and it's working.
Like I don't give a fuck.
But it's, I think of my mother
and who she was in my life
for the first like 25 years of it
before she married into this family.
I'm like, Nope. Never, never had that on my bingo card.
Yeah. . Okay. But it means that there are parts
of the year that their whole life is consumed with.
Are we growing it, are we harvesting?
Are we like, we can't go nowhere. Right.
And so March is like the month
where they can both go do something later in the year,
November, December hunting season.
Mm-Hmm. she'll
travel all over the fucking place.
Yeah. Because evil stepdad's out hunting and she does not.
Um, but like, this was like one of the few times.
So will we be able
to repeat something like this later in the year
that's within driving distance for us?
And, but I probably not, but we might this time. Mm-Hmm.
my backup, even though I have not
talked to him yet.
If my mom can't watch the, the youngest during
that timeframe, I think the oldest is on spring break.
And that will only work if he does not decide to go,
you know, have a big spring break somewhere.
And I could be like, Hey, uh, if I give you money
and like the keys to the car,
could you come home for a couple days?
, watch your brother watch the, the dog and cats.
Um, but that would be
dependent on him deciding not to do anything for spring break.
And he might not.
'cause he's, he's a broke bitch, but he might. So, I dunno.
But thank you taste,
you gotta gasp the Atlanta area Spanking society.
Okay. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. .
- So the, um, the event
that we'll be vending at the end of this month.
- Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. - Um,
is the naughty New Year's Eve
- Naughty New Year's thing Eve?
Yeah, that's right. 'cause New
Year's Eve is actually on a Sunday.
So for kink parties, that would be the Saturday
- Before the - 30th.
Mm-Hmm. . Yeah.
So, yeah.
Um, but we're trying, I mean, as, as the youngest gets older
and there will come a point
where either he does not live here anymore
or he's old enough
and independent enough that we
can go forth and like leave him here.
Mm-Hmm. , uh, he's not there yet.
He's still , he's still in middle school technically.
Um, so we're, yeah.
We're, um, but you know, day trips that we can drive to
and have childcare for a day or two Yeah. Is what
- We're limited to.
I mean, you know. Yeah. Definitely. Day things.
Um, we've got him
showed him how to feed the fur babies. Yep.
- Yep. - And, uh, kind of had to, to hover a little bit on
that because Lola is very protective of her
for food covered.
- Not just anybody's allowed
to go in there and Right, right. Root around
- In her dinner when, uh, when when the oldest
was started feeding her, she was very confused
and very protective of her food cover ,
- You're going to get this wrong
and you're fucking with my food and I have to protect it.
But she's not reactive. Like she's not lunch.
She's not dangerous. No,
but you have to be, you have to
remind her who the fuck's boss.
Right. And, um, and she does well now, you know, with him.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, that's how we were able to go
to Orlando, even though it's like we got home at 11.
Yeah. The girls would never have survived that long to,
to wait that long for their dinner.
Nobody could have survived that. Oh my God. .
So, yeah. So yeah.
We're trying, we're trying to do stuff Right.
We're just, you know, we, like, we tried to do
that April event this year
and just with everything could not pull it
- Together. Could not pull it together.
- There's too much going on.
And, you know, that's the, that's the nature of it. Mm-Hmm.
. Now this event, if we decide to do it,
we're committing 'cause the cost is, is higher,
you know, it's a, it's an investment.
Mm-Hmm. . Um, and likely when we'd have to,
we'll ha we'd have to book a hotel
and most likely that I tend
to get the best prices if we buy the non-refundable
if we're on a budget.
Yeah. Um, so like yeah, it's an investment. Mm-Hmm.
we'd have to commit to it. But
we, we really are trying
- .
Yeah. And, and you know, as eventually we'll travel as as,
as the, the youngest gets older, you know, my hope we,
we can do, um, something like,
like FPE at some point God Yeah.
- For it to be in our own state. And we never gotten to go
- In, in our, you know, when we,
when we lived in the Bay Area in our own in our own
town, I literally lived there.
We literally lived there. It was in our town
and we couldn't get there.
I know. You know, at that point the,
the kids were too young. , right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the, the child,
the childcare was not there for it.
Yeah. Yeah. We just didn't have an option. So
- Yeah.
So, you know, and, um,
master frostbite, uh, something earlier.
Um, no. Our intention is not
to be restocking the shop while we are on
break . No,
- It's not our intention to do a restock.
Yeah. But I could still see,
because we have to get ready for the December 30th event.
Right. Which means we actually need
to be restocking this weekend next week, . Right.
- And - We have, we have a sale
that starts on the eighth podcast.
Listeners would've already heard about it. Mm-Hmm.
because of time travel, live stream watchers,
YouTube watchers watching on a Thursday.
It doesn't matter for y'all 'cause it hadn't started yet,
but we also have a sale coming up, so.
Right. We do love to, uh,
do this to ourselves, I think. Yeah.
- So, you know, but, um, we, we have a plan for restocking.
Mm-Hmm. and, and keeping things stocked.
And so far we've been, uh, doing pretty good. Yeah.
- We've got some things we've gotta work on. Mm-Hmm.
. But that's 'cause they, we
had a great black Friday.
- Yeah. And we sold some shit.
But, um, between you
and I, we're we're doing better than we
have in the past. Yes.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So,
- You know, so Yeah. Mm-Hmm.
- There's a lot going on as always.
There is. Um, yeah.
Next week give you a little sneak peek
if you've made it this fucking far.
I think you deserve it. Our last episode,
before we go on break, we're doing a Reddit response one.
I'm gonna go see what I can find.
If anybody comes across anything that you were like,
oh yeah, that'll make somebody
rant, feel free to send it to me.
Um, 'cause Yeah.
I was like, let's, let's go out on a fun one. Yeah.
Uh, and it'll be a knowing us, it'll end up being longer.
'cause we tend to do that when we
know we're not gonna be around. Right.
- . - Um, yeah.
So I don't think I have anything
else. Do you have anything else?
- I think that's, that's about it.
- Okay. Can I come up with something else? Gimme a second.
Of course. We're not gonna do that. Yep.
Uh, we didn't get have time
'cause everything was we chaos ourselves
too close to the sun.
Um, we didn't get time to eat lunch
before we streamed and I'm hungry now.
Yep. So we're gonna
- Go No, your, your order was not too much trouble.
It just kind of fell in weird
- For podcast listeners time Andre Aston live chat
about, uh, his custom order.
We're not currently doing custom orders during the holidays
for anybody who's like, oh, you do custom orders.
Yes. Talk to us in January,
- , right?
Yeah. After the first of the year. I'm, I'm happy to talk.
We right now we are just, yeah. Mm-Hmm.
We've got a lot going on. I have to do a
- Massive candle restock.
Yep. I'm looking at 240 candle containers right now. Mm-Hmm.
that I have to like, put
- Some candle on the, the other day I looked at the, uh,
the, the stack of inlays you handed me
and I was just like, my jaw dropped .
- So anyway, we're, see
how bad we are at leaving 'cause we can find something.
We're gonna go Mm-Hmm. Yep.
Uh, thanks for being here with us. Mm-Hmm.
especially to the bitter end. Um,
- Thanks for joining us.
Always happy to have you here.
- Uh, all of that good stuff.
Mm-Hmm, , I, I
lost words right in the middle of that.
Sorry. Y'all uh, we'll be back next week. Yep.
We'll have a live stream at the end of that.
I think that's December 15th. I really think it is.
I think I remembered that date. Um, so there's still time.
It's not completely over just yet. .
Um, but yeah, we're gonna go. Yep. Okay. Love y'all.
- Bye. Bye.