1 00:00:10,785 --> 00:00:13,925 You are listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, episode 3 71. 2 00:00:13,925 --> 00:00:15,525 Kayla the Lord's here with the one, the only, 3 00:00:16,145 --> 00:00:19,525 the guy who's totally under the weather, but looks cute in his new shirt. 4 00:00:19,525 --> 00:00:20,358 John Brownstone. 5 00:00:20,915 --> 00:00:22,045 Yeah, something like that. . 6 00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:24,125 Something like that. Yeah. You know what's, what's cracking me up? 7 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,685 Thankfully podcast listeners can't see it. 8 00:00:25,685 --> 00:00:29,365 You were trying to keep your eyes wide and open, like yes, I am here. 9 00:00:29,785 --> 00:00:34,245 But it's not your natural eyes wide open. . You're having to, 10 00:00:34,265 --> 00:00:38,165 to work real hard with this one. for the record, 11 00:00:38,565 --> 00:00:39,845 I didn't force him to be. 12 00:00:39,845 --> 00:00:40,805 Here. No, you didn't. 13 00:00:40,995 --> 00:00:45,325 It's his choice. Secondly, I don't force anything. Hello. 14 00:00:45,325 --> 00:00:47,245 It's power exchange. That's not how we do these things. 15 00:00:47,245 --> 00:00:50,005 It's your true, you, you gave me the option this morning and I said no. 16 00:00:50,005 --> 00:00:50,838 We're gonna go through with it. 17 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:56,285 . We're gonna walk to the gallows. That's what that sounds like. 18 00:00:57,885 --> 00:01:00,485 Whatever happens, we're gonna go through with it . 19 00:01:01,185 --> 00:01:02,445 So it'll be interesting. It. 20 00:01:02,445 --> 00:01:03,925 Will be interesting. It will be interesting. 21 00:01:03,985 --> 00:01:07,805 We are doing another A-B-D-S-M Reddit response. Yes, I know. 22 00:01:07,805 --> 00:01:12,525 We just did one literally this time last month. We have reasons, uh, could, 23 00:01:12,535 --> 00:01:15,805 could be j b's, glassy wide eye, 24 00:01:16,045 --> 00:01:20,965 face right now, are those reasons. But we'll get into that. 25 00:01:21,315 --> 00:01:24,525 Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, 26 00:01:24,525 --> 00:01:26,645 glad to have you. If you're back for another week, welcome back. 27 00:01:26,745 --> 00:01:30,525 Loving B DSM is produced every Friday and now Monday for your kinky pleasure and 28 00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:33,685 education, and show notes are found@lovingbdsm.net. 29 00:01:33,955 --> 00:01:37,245 Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite podcast app. 30 00:01:37,505 --> 00:01:40,045 You can also follow the show on X Twitter. 31 00:01:40,075 --> 00:01:44,765 Call it whatever you want at Loving BDSM on FetLife at Loving BDSM 32 00:01:45,065 --> 00:01:45,305 pc. 33 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:49,685 The PCs Dance podcast y'all on Instagram and threads at that handle live will 34 00:01:49,685 --> 00:01:53,205 for fucking hate loving DSS in the number one. 35 00:01:53,265 --> 00:01:58,205 So at Loving DSS one, or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving bdsm, 36 00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,565 where you can watch us live. Stream the podcast every Wednesday. 37 00:02:00,905 --> 00:02:04,205 All links are in the show notes. I am already out of breath. 38 00:02:04,895 --> 00:02:07,325 We've only been going a few minutes. Um, 39 00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:10,965 I think that the coffee, 40 00:02:11,145 --> 00:02:13,565 the few sips of coffee I've had kicking. 41 00:02:13,665 --> 00:02:14,465 In hard Huh? 42 00:02:14,465 --> 00:02:16,765 Hit hard and I haven't even finished. It's a large, 43 00:02:16,875 --> 00:02:21,725 it's a large ice butter pecan from Dunking and I got 350 points 44 00:02:21,865 --> 00:02:24,925 for it because I'm stacking all of their offers at once. 45 00:02:25,405 --> 00:02:27,925 'cause I know how to play the rewards. 46 00:02:27,925 --> 00:02:29,805 On, you know, how the game game. 47 00:02:30,165 --> 00:02:34,645 . Okay. So before we get into, uh, 48 00:02:34,715 --> 00:02:36,885 this week's episode, uh, 49 00:02:37,235 --> 00:02:41,725 it's technically like on the day we're recording halfway over for podcast 50 00:02:41,725 --> 00:02:44,165 listeners. By the time you hear this, you got a day left. 51 00:02:44,185 --> 00:02:47,525 But we are at the Kry in our anniversary sale. 52 00:02:47,525 --> 00:02:48,265 That's true. 53 00:02:48,265 --> 00:02:50,405 The kry is three years old. Uh, 54 00:02:50,785 --> 00:02:54,845 the toddler years have not been completely terrible. . 55 00:02:55,785 --> 00:02:56,685 But not, uh, but. 56 00:02:56,685 --> 00:02:59,870 Is this like dog years? So really we're three, but really we're 21. 57 00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:03,925 I think that's probably, that's probably best to say because it's kink. 58 00:03:04,065 --> 00:03:07,165 But either way, it's our third anniversary , uh, 59 00:03:07,195 --> 00:03:11,565 through October 28th at 11:59 PM Eastern. 60 00:03:12,065 --> 00:03:12,285 Uh, 61 00:03:12,285 --> 00:03:17,085 if you use the coupon code three years s at the end three 62 00:03:17,085 --> 00:03:20,645 years, you'll save 10% off nearly everything in the shop. 63 00:03:20,665 --> 00:03:23,925 The only thing that that coupon doesn't apply to is if you buy gift cards. Yes, 64 00:03:23,925 --> 00:03:28,765 we do gift cards. So, you know, um, so we've been restocking. 65 00:03:28,915 --> 00:03:33,205 Yeah. Um, if there's, there's might be a couple things sold out, 66 00:03:33,205 --> 00:03:35,965 but most things, there's plenty of them. Um, 67 00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:39,725 this is a great time to get a discount. 'cause we don't do a lot of sales. 68 00:03:39,725 --> 00:03:41,885 We don't do a lot of discounts. Um, 69 00:03:42,865 --> 00:03:47,125 we restocked evil sticks. Yes. We restocked diabolical sticks. 70 00:03:47,665 --> 00:03:51,845 We restocked thick sticks. We got a lot of sticks. A lot of sticks. 71 00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:55,445 And they all hurt like hell. uh, we introduced a new. 72 00:03:55,445 --> 00:03:56,278 Isn't that the point? 73 00:03:56,365 --> 00:04:01,085 I ? Apparently we introduced a new ca two new candle colors. Yeah. 74 00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:06,165 Pink and blue soy and paraffin. Um, so yeah. Uh, 75 00:04:06,465 --> 00:04:09,325 kry.com is our website, but the link is in the places. 76 00:04:09,785 --> 00:04:11,605 The code is three years. 77 00:04:11,905 --> 00:04:15,405 You can either use the number three or spell out the word three. 78 00:04:15,825 --> 00:04:16,658 It will still work. 79 00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:20,365 I did that on purpose because I know it's easy sometimes to remember the code, 80 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:23,525 but then go, wait. Is it the number? Is it spelled out? Doesn't matter. 81 00:04:23,695 --> 00:04:25,045 Three years. Use the code. 82 00:04:25,315 --> 00:04:29,805 Save 10% through what is actually our wedding anniversary. 83 00:04:30,075 --> 00:04:32,965 October 28th. Yeah. 11:59 PM Eastern. 84 00:04:33,265 --> 00:04:36,445 Do we know how many years we've been married? No, no, no. We can't remember. 85 00:04:37,085 --> 00:04:39,885 I have to go back to the pictures and go What year were, were those taken? 86 00:04:40,315 --> 00:04:43,045 Then do the math. And then I can tell you how many years we've been married. 87 00:04:43,425 --> 00:04:47,325 Is it five years? Is it six years? I don't know. , 88 00:04:48,025 --> 00:04:49,645 but I do know I'm married to you. Yeah. 89 00:04:50,085 --> 00:04:53,965 . And even that was, uh. 90 00:04:54,605 --> 00:04:58,485 I mean, it took us a hot minute to get there. Hey. It was a good wedding though. 91 00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:03,285 It was. We did it on the cheap. Yeah. We had only a handful of people there. 92 00:05:03,285 --> 00:05:06,445 Mm-Hmm. . Um, I got drunk and danced. Yeah. 93 00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:11,605 We had to do no cleanup, no setup. Nope. My dress was cute as shit. It was, 94 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:16,005 uh, and every picture that you anybody took of me, 95 00:05:16,205 --> 00:05:20,125 I am cheesing so hard, so hard. Uh, 96 00:05:20,555 --> 00:05:23,685 there's that whole walking down the aisle like, you're sedate and you're slow. 97 00:05:23,685 --> 00:05:27,205 And you're like, no. I literally, the kids walked me down the aisle. 98 00:05:27,365 --> 00:05:30,965 I dragged them. 'cause it was like, let me get up there. Let's do this thing. 99 00:05:31,105 --> 00:05:33,645 But do I remember what year it was? No, I don't. No, I don't. Mm-Hmm. 100 00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,365 . And that was like the story of our life. 101 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,725 And, and, and I remember we ended up at a waffle house afterwards. 102 00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:42,445 Yes. But we did not have fuckery or fuck on our wedding night. 103 00:05:42,445 --> 00:05:46,845 We had one night kid free. Yeah. We went to Waffle House. That's what we did. 104 00:05:46,845 --> 00:05:49,645 Yeah. Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, fitting, quite fitting. 105 00:05:49,925 --> 00:05:50,525 Quite fitting. 106 00:05:50,525 --> 00:05:53,965 But my dress was cute and it was purple if anybody ever wondered. 107 00:05:54,165 --> 00:05:58,165 'cause of course it was. Okay. I mentioned this for the YouTube folk, 108 00:05:58,165 --> 00:06:00,445 but I'm gonna mention it for podcast listeners as well. 109 00:06:00,665 --> 00:06:04,005 We have added new items to our Etsy shop with more items, 110 00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:08,525 hopefully coming on a semi-regular basis. I want it to be like, every week. 111 00:06:08,525 --> 00:06:11,845 There's a few new things. Uh, but I know me, it might be once a month. 112 00:06:12,045 --> 00:06:16,645 I load them all at one time. I, I know how I am. I know who I am. Um, 113 00:06:16,705 --> 00:06:20,245 our Etsy shop is, uh, loving bdsm.etsy.com. 114 00:06:20,705 --> 00:06:23,445 If you just search Loving BDSM at Etsy, we will come up. 115 00:06:23,465 --> 00:06:27,085 And of course our links are in all of the places because, uh, they are, 116 00:06:27,195 --> 00:06:31,805 they just are. I'm good like that. Um, so yeah. Okay. 117 00:06:32,275 --> 00:06:35,685 Okay. I need to take like a, who saw kind of breath . 118 00:06:37,585 --> 00:06:38,925 You're, you're just like I. 119 00:06:38,945 --> 00:06:40,365 Am. It's one of those days. 120 00:06:40,465 --> 00:06:45,325 I'm talking super fast and I feel like only other people who also 121 00:06:45,325 --> 00:06:48,925 talk super fast will be able to follow a word I say. Um, 122 00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:53,925 and if you normally listen to this on like 1.52, 2.5, 123 00:06:54,485 --> 00:06:57,205 whatever speed you might need to slow it down. . 124 00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:00,645 And I'm just sitting here all sedate and, uh. 125 00:07:00,915 --> 00:07:04,045 Yeah, I know. 'cause you're very much under the weather. Yeah. 126 00:07:04,235 --> 00:07:07,045 I've asked you no less than like, half a dozen times. You have. 127 00:07:07,145 --> 00:07:09,645 Are you sure you wanna record? Are you sure you want stream? Mm-Hmm. 128 00:07:09,685 --> 00:07:13,005 . Um, that is the reason we're doing another, uh, 129 00:07:13,025 --> 00:07:16,525 Reddit response episode. Even though the last one was, 130 00:07:16,785 --> 00:07:20,685 and I looked at the calendar a literal month ago, September 27th. 131 00:07:21,225 --> 00:07:26,005 It is October 25th. . I usually try to space these out more, 132 00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:30,685 but we needed an easy episode because you're, you're just, 133 00:07:30,685 --> 00:07:33,885 you're trying to be here and I'm trying to make it easy on you. You are. 134 00:07:34,065 --> 00:07:35,845 And, and I'm grateful for that. The. 135 00:07:35,995 --> 00:07:38,445 Blue of your T-shirt brings out the blue in your eyes, 136 00:07:38,585 --> 00:07:41,485 but also it lets me see just how glassy they're . 137 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:49,085 So this is a shortened version. Um, 138 00:07:49,525 --> 00:07:53,205 normally we respond to five to six posts found on the BDSM side of Reddit. 139 00:07:53,205 --> 00:07:56,925 We are only gonna do three. And when I was pulling these together, 140 00:07:57,885 --> 00:08:02,245 I realized after the fact that there was a theme. And the theme is, 141 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:05,605 uh, what did I, I write that questionable decisions. 142 00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:09,365 Like some of these questions, maybe all of them, depending on your, 143 00:08:09,435 --> 00:08:13,405 your perspective. The first response, I think is what the fuck, uh, 144 00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:17,845 before you can even think of an answer or a response to it. 145 00:08:18,705 --> 00:08:19,725 So, uh, 146 00:08:19,825 --> 00:08:24,205 if I don't get the tone of my voice calmed 147 00:08:24,835 --> 00:08:28,725 down, , uh, this will be done in 10 minutes. So. 148 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,125 Gaza. 149 00:08:30,325 --> 00:08:34,125 I know. I'm like . Oh my gosh. Okay. 150 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,605 Do I need to, uh, take your coffee away from you? 151 00:08:36,785 --> 00:08:40,845 No, no. This is the elixir of the fucking Gods . And, uh, no. 152 00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:45,525 It's actually my first butter pecan in like six, no, not six months, 153 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,405 like two or three months since they put out the pumpkin. Mm. 154 00:08:48,865 --> 00:08:53,365 But I rolled up to the good good Duncan. Ah, and they were like, oh, 155 00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:57,165 we're so sorry we're out of pumpkin. And I went, do you have butter gone? 156 00:08:57,465 --> 00:08:58,605 And he was like, oh yeah, we do. 157 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:01,165 And then he wanted to make idle chitchat with me. And I was like, I don't. 158 00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:02,525 Know. I don't just gimme my damn coffee. 159 00:09:02,815 --> 00:09:05,365 Right? One, uh, I mean, I had a, 160 00:09:05,565 --> 00:09:09,365 a bowl of up chuck in the backseat 'cause the kid still does that. 161 00:09:09,585 --> 00:09:12,845 So I was like, I just want go home and empty this bowl. But also, 162 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:16,925 I haven't had coffee yet. And also, I don't know how to do idle chitchat. 163 00:09:17,305 --> 00:09:20,805 It is so un unbearably uncomfortable. I just don't even know how to do it. 164 00:09:21,345 --> 00:09:24,005 So yeah. There's not been enough coffee to kick in. 165 00:09:25,385 --> 00:09:28,565 I'm a little afraid of what's gonna happen when I finish this coffee. So 166 00:09:31,065 --> 00:09:35,125 now that I have annoyed the people who hate idle chitchat , 167 00:09:35,185 --> 00:09:36,445 we can get it. . 168 00:09:37,105 --> 00:09:39,045 Lola's curled up in the little corner over here. Again. 169 00:09:39,185 --> 00:09:43,885 She wants to be near you. Okay. No, that's not the first one I wanna start with. 170 00:09:43,885 --> 00:09:48,885 Let's start with this one question for service subs. Mm. Okay. 171 00:09:49,585 --> 00:09:50,805 Honest question. 172 00:09:51,335 --> 00:09:56,285 Would you consider participating in group play or ensuring that your DOM'S 173 00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:58,725 needs slash desires that you can't, 174 00:09:58,915 --> 00:10:02,965 like physiological issues or won't hard limits fulfill, 175 00:10:03,505 --> 00:10:07,885 are met by someone else as a form of service? How would you feel about that? 176 00:10:08,365 --> 00:10:13,285 Emphasis on feel as I'm 45 male dom not nearly as rooted 177 00:10:13,345 --> 00:10:16,045 in feelings as my sub 41 female sub. 178 00:10:16,345 --> 00:10:20,125 And both of us are still exploring and discovering ourselves grateful for all 179 00:10:20,405 --> 00:10:25,205 responses, pro or con. So if I take out all of the addendums in that, 180 00:10:25,665 --> 00:10:26,498 the question is, 181 00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:31,325 you as a sub can't or won't do certain things. Mm-Hmm. 182 00:10:31,365 --> 00:10:35,885 that the dom wants, the dom wants to go do them with other people. 183 00:10:36,145 --> 00:10:39,445 Mm-Hmm. , would that be considered service? 184 00:10:42,385 --> 00:10:43,525 It could be. It. 185 00:10:43,525 --> 00:10:48,005 Could be. The thing is, is there's nothing in this that's like, you know, 186 00:10:48,305 --> 00:10:51,565 if you're willing to be in an open relationship, if that's your vibe, 187 00:10:51,705 --> 00:10:53,605 if non-monogamy is okay with you, 188 00:10:53,795 --> 00:10:58,365 like there's no mention of the consent to open up 189 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:02,845 the relationship just a, hey, uh, 190 00:11:02,985 --> 00:11:07,125 you can't or won't do these things, but I want them, so I'm gonna go get them. 191 00:11:07,305 --> 00:11:11,045 Can from somebody else. That's service. Right? . 192 00:11:17,685 --> 00:11:18,518 . 193 00:11:19,405 --> 00:11:24,325 I mean, again, like you said, it can be. Yeah, it can be. But. 194 00:11:24,645 --> 00:11:28,565 I mean, we, we, we have talked about that before. You know, in, in the past, 195 00:11:28,865 --> 00:11:33,165 if you know, all your needs aren't being met, you can talk about, 196 00:11:34,025 --> 00:11:38,445 you know, opening up the relationship for, for play in other areas. 197 00:11:39,095 --> 00:11:43,805 Right. But that's part of an understanding and a conversation. True, 198 00:11:44,035 --> 00:11:48,725 true, true. That in some way, whether it's sexual or not. 199 00:11:48,745 --> 00:11:50,885 Mm-Hmm. emotional or not. Right. 200 00:11:50,885 --> 00:11:54,845 Mental or not power exchange or not. You are opening up your relationship. 201 00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:58,165 You are allowing, you are not requiring monogamy. 202 00:11:58,225 --> 00:12:02,765 And both partners are okay with that. And the part that make, gives me, 203 00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:08,325 makes me give this person side eye is that the act of 204 00:12:08,325 --> 00:12:13,285 just letting your partner have other partners and being okay with it as 205 00:12:13,285 --> 00:12:17,045 an act of service to me implies, oh, 206 00:12:17,185 --> 00:12:21,925 you might not like this, but if you let me do it and you say you're okay, 207 00:12:21,925 --> 00:12:24,925 you're serving my needs , 208 00:12:25,805 --> 00:12:28,805 regardless of how you actually feel about it. Now, 209 00:12:29,025 --> 00:12:32,965 is that an un charitable reading of this question? Yes. Yes. It fucking is. 210 00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:36,685 Could the person have not meant that? Maybe, 211 00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,045 but that's not what the fuck they said. 212 00:12:39,195 --> 00:12:42,885 There's no little line in there of we've talked about non-monogamy. 213 00:12:43,435 --> 00:12:47,125 This would be Mm-Hmm. a consensual non-monogamous thing. Okay. 214 00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:49,525 Well, well, well, let's, let's, um, 215 00:12:51,515 --> 00:12:53,005 take a back step here. 216 00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:54,108 Okay. 217 00:12:54,145 --> 00:12:59,005 Um, is it a matter of when, 218 00:12:59,035 --> 00:13:03,125 when you talk about non-monogamy or being poly, 219 00:13:04,395 --> 00:13:08,965 that is then assuming you are getting into an emotional relationship Right. 220 00:13:09,195 --> 00:13:10,525 With another person. 221 00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:16,405 And in many, in many cases it could be sexual, 222 00:13:16,555 --> 00:13:18,565 sometimes it's not. Right? Um, 223 00:13:19,555 --> 00:13:21,725 here we are talking about play. 224 00:13:22,305 --> 00:13:26,045 But here's the thing. Some people Mm-Hmm. in their power exchange, 225 00:13:26,345 --> 00:13:30,285 that's monogamous. You don't go out to those people. 226 00:13:30,705 --> 00:13:32,805 I'm not one of them. You and I are like, I'm like, 227 00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:36,725 you want to go whip that person? Please do. Don't touch me with it. I'm fine. 228 00:13:37,225 --> 00:13:39,085 But we've had the conversation, 229 00:13:39,855 --> 00:13:42,765 we've had the conversation about what it means to us. Mm-Hmm. , 230 00:13:42,765 --> 00:13:47,365 we've had the conversation about how we feel about you playing with somebody or 231 00:13:47,505 --> 00:13:51,085 you being a dominant for somebody else. Mm. Regardless of whether they're, 232 00:13:51,085 --> 00:13:52,165 whether they're sex. Yeah. 233 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:54,645 Regardless of whether this is a long-term relationship, 234 00:13:54,815 --> 00:13:58,685 we've had the conversation. And at no point have you ever said, 235 00:13:59,145 --> 00:14:01,485 you're gonna let me do this as an act of service. 236 00:14:02,785 --> 00:14:07,165 It has always been with me getting to say, okay, here's where I'm insecure. 237 00:14:07,425 --> 00:14:10,245 Here's how I feel about it. Here's what gives me pause. 238 00:14:10,595 --> 00:14:13,125 Here are all the questions I have. It gave, 239 00:14:13,245 --> 00:14:17,125 I had the opportunity to ask what it meant for our relationship. For us. 240 00:14:17,385 --> 00:14:20,245 It didn't mean anything, right? Mm-Hmm. , because we, 241 00:14:20,825 --> 00:14:25,765 the way we are wired and how we run our power exchange. Mm-Hmm. 242 00:14:25,805 --> 00:14:28,445 , there's room for others. Now, 243 00:14:30,115 --> 00:14:33,005 this person did not specify, 244 00:14:33,385 --> 00:14:36,965 are they looking for an impact play partner? Do they need a bottom? No. 245 00:14:37,035 --> 00:14:40,525 They specified that they are dom, their partner is sub, 246 00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:44,605 they're not really into their feelings much like their sub is. So, like, 247 00:14:44,785 --> 00:14:47,365 my sub has feelings about this and I don't, 248 00:14:47,745 --> 00:14:50,605 that's a point where you have to have a conversation. Mm-Hmm. , 249 00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:53,645 because you've been to play parties without me. Mm-Hmm. actually, 250 00:14:53,705 --> 00:14:57,405 the club, whatever, with the understanding that you would probably play. 251 00:14:58,745 --> 00:15:02,125 And I, the first time we did that, where I stayed home and you went, 252 00:15:02,245 --> 00:15:06,365 I freaked the fuck out. All of my insecurities came up, 253 00:15:07,015 --> 00:15:09,885 which we were able to handle once you got home. 254 00:15:10,315 --> 00:15:13,925 Because we had had a conversation and an understanding, 255 00:15:14,225 --> 00:15:16,245 and it was just my insecurities coming to light. 256 00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:19,725 It was my thing that I needed to deal with. But it was never as a surprise. 257 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:23,885 You never forced me to be okay with it and called it service. No. 258 00:15:23,885 --> 00:15:24,765 That's true. It was. 259 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:25,985 Consensual. 260 00:15:25,985 --> 00:15:26,818 But. 261 00:15:28,105 --> 00:15:32,165 And it wasn't sexual and it wasn't even power exchange you were going to play. 262 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,445 And it still fucked with my head. Hmm. 263 00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:38,805 And I had all the information Right. And consented. 264 00:15:39,545 --> 00:15:41,565 But could it, I I'm, 265 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:46,285 and I'm not saying I'm forcing you to, to say this, right? Right. 266 00:15:46,355 --> 00:15:50,645 Okay. Or anybody else. Could it be seen as an act of service? 267 00:15:51,465 --> 00:15:56,285 It could be if the service sub goes, I'm uncomfortable or I don't love it, 268 00:15:56,545 --> 00:16:01,125 or all of my insecurities are out, but this is something I want to do for you. 269 00:16:01,625 --> 00:16:02,485 It could be Mm-Hmm. . 270 00:16:02,625 --> 00:16:06,205 But that is the total and a hundred percent call of the sub. 271 00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:10,365 A hundred percent. The dom can make their argument. They can say, Hey, 272 00:16:10,675 --> 00:16:15,245 does this help? If you think of it as service, it's a mindset shift, right? 273 00:16:15,245 --> 00:16:15,775 Mm-Hmm. , 274 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:20,125 there are a lot of things we've talked about in service submission where it 275 00:16:20,125 --> 00:16:24,805 doesn't always look like service, but when you reframe it in your head Right. 276 00:16:24,865 --> 00:16:28,725 You're like, oh yeah. It's like if a sub tops their dom. 277 00:16:28,935 --> 00:16:31,045 Right. It could be seen as an act of. 278 00:16:31,045 --> 00:16:32,165 Service. It could be seen. Exactly. Yeah. 279 00:16:32,345 --> 00:16:37,085 But that is up to the service submissive to decide a hundred percent 280 00:16:37,095 --> 00:16:39,245 point blank. Nobody gets to decide that. 281 00:16:39,355 --> 00:16:41,005 Them, it has to be negotiated. Absolutely. 282 00:16:41,145 --> 00:16:42,325 It has to be negotiated. 283 00:16:42,405 --> 00:16:45,045 Which means that the most to me that the dom can do is go, Hey, 284 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,365 what do you think about this? Would this work for you? 285 00:16:47,365 --> 00:16:52,365 What questions do you have for me? But at the end of the day, the service sub, 286 00:16:52,505 --> 00:16:56,485 sub, any sub should not feel pressured into it should not be guilted into it. 287 00:16:56,485 --> 00:17:00,205 And this is a part where some doms, forget the power they fucking have. 288 00:17:00,465 --> 00:17:02,325 If you want something bad enough, 289 00:17:02,915 --> 00:17:06,485 there's a good damn chance I'll twist myself into fucking knots to give it to 290 00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:10,405 you. Even if I hate it, even if it bothers me. 291 00:17:10,595 --> 00:17:12,245 Even if it makes me feel insecure. 292 00:17:12,475 --> 00:17:14,725 Even if it makes me question everything about our relationship, 293 00:17:15,485 --> 00:17:19,365 a different me from a few years ago would've laid down and let you have it. 294 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,925 So they're new to this, if I recall that question, 295 00:17:24,645 --> 00:17:28,025 is that I, I mean, I'm not gonna speak for that sub. That sub might be like a, 296 00:17:28,215 --> 00:17:31,185 like be able to put their foot down and go, no, I won't do it. 297 00:17:31,185 --> 00:17:34,145 Here are my hard limits. This is one of them. Mm-Hmm. . They, 298 00:17:34,255 --> 00:17:36,585 they may be able, they may be that person already, 299 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:41,785 but my experience with a lot of newer submissives who are trying to 300 00:17:41,785 --> 00:17:43,385 fulfill a need that they've had, 301 00:17:43,805 --> 00:17:47,225 and they are finding it in service or just submission in general, 302 00:17:48,285 --> 00:17:52,725 is that sometimes we will do shit we don't really wanna do, 303 00:17:53,235 --> 00:17:57,005 call it service, wonder why we're fucking miserable, and then say, oh, 304 00:17:57,005 --> 00:17:59,925 well I'm serving so my happiness doesn't matter. 305 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:07,525 So it's okay for anybody to not think 306 00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:11,525 of the specific play of kink as non-monogamy. Mm-Hmm. . 307 00:18:11,705 --> 00:18:15,205 But there are absolutely plenty of people out there who do that. They're like, 308 00:18:15,205 --> 00:18:16,765 wait, you're gonna play with somebody else? 309 00:18:17,355 --> 00:18:21,925 This is a different experience than what I think of as monogamy. 310 00:18:21,995 --> 00:18:26,405 I've just had too many conversations with people who are like, I feel, you know, 311 00:18:26,545 --> 00:18:29,205 is my dom putting me to the side because they wanna play with somebody, 312 00:18:29,205 --> 00:18:33,125 but I don't do that kink well. I'm like, well, then you have to, to, you know, 313 00:18:33,265 --> 00:18:35,725 you gotta think through that for yourself. Mm-Hmm. for a lot, 314 00:18:35,825 --> 00:18:39,805 for people who embrace it. No. It's another way for you to fulfill your needs. 315 00:18:40,345 --> 00:18:44,485 Go for it. I'm happy for you if you can do that. Says Kayla to jb. 316 00:18:45,145 --> 00:18:47,965 But we didn't get there without a shit ton of trust. 317 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:52,325 A lot of experience with one another and a shit ton of conversation. 318 00:18:54,025 --> 00:18:57,285 Not, Hey, we've been doing this for five minutes. Reddit, will you tell me, 319 00:18:57,945 --> 00:19:01,085 is this service, should I tell my sub that they can call this service? 320 00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:10,165 That's, to me, the sub is a hundred percent in the driver's seat on that one. 321 00:19:10,435 --> 00:19:13,165 Okay. Because if they can't wrap their mind around it for them, 322 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:16,045 it's not service for them. It is painful for them. It is. 323 00:19:16,485 --> 00:19:21,325 I don't want to share this part of you with anybody else that might 324 00:19:21,685 --> 00:19:23,045 make them incompatible. Mm-Hmm. 325 00:19:23,085 --> 00:19:24,725 that might mean that DSS is not right for them. 326 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,645 That might mean the kink is not right for them. That's a whole other, 327 00:19:27,865 --> 00:19:32,845 that's a whole other ball of can of worms. Ball of ball of something. 328 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:38,125 Ooh, my metaphors just, just all jumbled like a ball of something. Uh, 329 00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:42,165 quite frankly. Um, but that's not what, what's being asked here. 330 00:19:42,795 --> 00:19:43,305 Yeah. 331 00:19:43,305 --> 00:19:47,645 You know what I mean? Mm-Hmm. . It's like, yeah. Yes, you're right. 332 00:19:47,875 --> 00:19:48,708 They could, 333 00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:52,285 that submissive could decide that service and then that's a service they're 334 00:19:52,285 --> 00:19:54,405 willing to provide. The thing me, 335 00:19:54,425 --> 00:19:59,245 the bitch submissive is would say to that little submissive, I'd say, okay, 336 00:19:59,385 --> 00:20:03,725 but is this 'cause this is what you want? Or because you feel pressured, you, 337 00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:06,925 you're worried that per person won't wanna do this with you anymore. 338 00:20:07,145 --> 00:20:10,045 Is that why you're doing it? Or is it because you embrace that and you're like, 339 00:20:10,045 --> 00:20:12,285 yeah, that's cool. I I'm, I'm good with it. 340 00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:15,338 I'm just saying. 341 00:20:16,705 --> 00:20:17,538 I'm just saying. 342 00:20:22,035 --> 00:20:24,925 Yeah. And I just got called out by silent . 343 00:20:25,185 --> 00:20:29,925 I'm also sweating already. Yes, you are. So this is fun. . 344 00:20:30,785 --> 00:20:35,125 The livestream chat is, uh, clocking it. 345 00:20:35,225 --> 00:20:38,965 And thank you everybody. Ball of wax. Ball of wax is where I was, 346 00:20:39,525 --> 00:20:43,085 I was trying to get, okay. Okay. So , uh, 347 00:20:43,385 --> 00:20:46,725 now that I have sort of metaphorically ripped your face off there, sorry. 348 00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,525 I love you so much, . Uh, 349 00:20:49,945 --> 00:20:52,165 if I promise not to start ranting at you, 350 00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:53,725 is there anything else you would add to. 351 00:20:53,725 --> 00:20:57,245 This? I'm, I'm good at this point. I'm done. You afraid? I'm open. . 352 00:20:59,855 --> 00:21:00,965 Sorry. . 353 00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,045 Okay. Next one. 354 00:21:03,465 --> 00:21:07,325 Hey, I, I brought that on. I, you know, did you. 355 00:21:07,325 --> 00:21:11,485 Know what you were doing? Or was it a happy accident? . 356 00:21:11,845 --> 00:21:12,678 . 357 00:21:12,915 --> 00:21:17,325 Okay. Next one. I feel like whatever your personal, you, 358 00:21:17,345 --> 00:21:21,965 the person who can hear us initial reaction is to just the title of this post. 359 00:21:22,275 --> 00:21:24,525 That'll probably say it all for you. Here we go. 360 00:21:24,585 --> 00:21:25,418 Oh goodness. 361 00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:31,205 Is it a bad idea for my boyfriend slash dom to carve his initials into 362 00:21:31,205 --> 00:21:35,565 my skin? I'm 23 female and my dom is also 23 male. 363 00:21:35,855 --> 00:21:37,205 We've been talking about it for a bit. 364 00:21:37,205 --> 00:21:40,605 And today I asked him if he actually wants to would do it, and he said yes. 365 00:21:41,025 --> 00:21:42,965 So long as we can agree on something, 366 00:21:43,365 --> 00:21:46,965 I just wanna know from an outside perspective if it's really that quote deranged 367 00:21:47,025 --> 00:21:50,405 or bad. He told me it's not as intense as I think it is, 368 00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:52,165 considering the other kinks we share. 369 00:21:52,925 --> 00:21:56,085 I was the first to consider it when we were talking about marking and whatnot. 370 00:21:56,305 --> 00:21:59,325 But I also see where it might not be necessary since I have a collar. 371 00:22:00,235 --> 00:22:03,205 Just some outside opinions will be cool no matter your age and whether you're 372 00:22:03,205 --> 00:22:06,205 experienced or not. Okay. 373 00:22:06,765 --> 00:22:07,598 Hmm. 374 00:22:08,465 --> 00:22:11,005 So what, what are your thoughts about this? 375 00:22:13,265 --> 00:22:15,805 And I'm gonna try and stay quiet and let you actually get them out. . 376 00:22:16,425 --> 00:22:20,565 Um, personally I think it's a bad idea. Um, 377 00:22:20,875 --> 00:22:25,205 something like that is way too permanent. Okay. 378 00:22:26,065 --> 00:22:29,645 Um, I'm gonna say, you know, they're, they're young 379 00:22:32,065 --> 00:22:35,525 lot can happen. A lot can happen. A lot can happen. Mm-Hmm. . Um, 380 00:22:35,525 --> 00:22:39,965 there are much other better ways to do that. Mm-Hmm. , um, 381 00:22:41,075 --> 00:22:45,645 than to have initials carved in. Um, you know, 382 00:22:45,745 --> 00:22:50,245 I'm thinking temporarily you could do, um, marker. 383 00:22:50,635 --> 00:22:52,045 Yeah. Okay. Definitely start. 384 00:22:52,045 --> 00:22:52,685 With marker before. 385 00:22:52,685 --> 00:22:57,685 We move on to blade. Start, start with start, start with marker. Um, you know, 386 00:22:59,545 --> 00:23:03,045 you, you see a lot of people do with the, with the marker. Um, 387 00:23:03,225 --> 00:23:08,125 the other thing that comes to my mind that is not as permanent, 388 00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:11,365 but can be close is something like cell popping. Mm. 389 00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:12,145 Mm-Hmm. . 390 00:23:12,145 --> 00:23:15,525 Mm-Hmm. . Okay. Where, you know, you take a, a, um, for, 391 00:23:15,665 --> 00:23:20,085 for anybody who doesn't know it's you take a, um, stainless steel rod, 392 00:23:20,905 --> 00:23:25,525 uh, heat it and, and you actually poke on the skin. 393 00:23:25,935 --> 00:23:27,165 Right. But it's like the surface. 394 00:23:27,215 --> 00:23:31,765 Layer. Surface layer. Okay. It, it causes a, um, you know, 395 00:23:32,505 --> 00:23:35,405 you, you, you can do that. Mm-Hmm. Okay. 396 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:38,885 Which eventually does heal up. Sure. You know, um, 397 00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:42,645 but something as permanent as that, where you're gonna have, you know, this, 398 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,830 this scar, you know, that that's as bad as as saying, you know, well, 399 00:23:45,830 --> 00:23:49,005 I'm gonna have so-and-so's name tattooed on my knuckles or something. You know, 400 00:23:49,065 --> 00:23:49,365 my. 401 00:23:49,365 --> 00:23:52,605 Favorite Are those tattoos people regret in the future things you see online 402 00:23:52,885 --> 00:23:56,845 somebody's name tattooed on their face. Yeah. Like I, I mean, 403 00:23:56,845 --> 00:23:59,325 you can always cover it up or attempt to remove it, but Mm-Hmm. , 404 00:23:59,825 --> 00:24:04,325 I'm a hundred percent with you on the, no, I don't think it's a good idea. 405 00:24:04,725 --> 00:24:08,965 I fully support consenting adults doing whatever the fuck they want with their 406 00:24:08,965 --> 00:24:11,965 body. True, true, true, true. And IS you know, 407 00:24:12,015 --> 00:24:16,445 would love to help navigate somebody away from a decision they will. Absolutely. 408 00:24:16,945 --> 00:24:20,805 Or 99.9% regret in the future. Mm-Hmm. . Um, 409 00:24:22,105 --> 00:24:24,005 but it's hard for me to go, no, don't do it. 410 00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:27,885 Except they're as somebody's parent. I'm, I'm like, no, don't do it. 411 00:24:27,985 --> 00:24:32,325 As somebody who has trust issues, I know we're going to be together till, 412 00:24:32,585 --> 00:24:37,245 you know, the absolute end, whether that's Armageddon or, you know, whatever. 413 00:24:37,785 --> 00:24:39,525 Uh, go out like Thelman Louise. 414 00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:44,885 And I still cannot imagine doing 415 00:24:44,915 --> 00:24:48,765 that. Yeah. Um, I think that, uh, 416 00:24:48,785 --> 00:24:50,725 in the comments of that post, somebody said, 417 00:24:50,825 --> 00:24:54,325 try hna because apparently if you take care of it, that's true too. Well enough. 418 00:24:54,325 --> 00:24:56,085 It can last up to three weeks. Mm-Hmm. . Um, 419 00:24:56,205 --> 00:24:58,645 a lot of people in the comments of that post were like, use a marker. 420 00:24:58,675 --> 00:24:59,605 Just just use a. 421 00:24:59,605 --> 00:25:01,725 Marker. Yeah. Didn't even think use marker. Think about Hena. Yeah. 422 00:25:01,815 --> 00:25:04,045 Henna tattoos are becoming, are, right. 423 00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:06,565 Yeah. Fairly popular. Yeah. A little bit more mainstream on Mm-Hmm. 424 00:25:06,605 --> 00:25:10,485 Western culture, at least civilization. Anyway. Um, but, 425 00:25:11,385 --> 00:25:13,165 you know, if it's an id, 426 00:25:13,165 --> 00:25:17,325 if it's the idea of being marked in a way that 427 00:25:17,565 --> 00:25:19,885 commemorates the relationship Mm-Hmm. , 428 00:25:20,665 --> 00:25:23,525 if that just feels super important and it, 429 00:25:23,595 --> 00:25:26,325 there's like no point where you're like, oh, maybe cell popping, 430 00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:29,365 that would be great. Or, oh, let's do markers, let's do, you know, 431 00:25:29,845 --> 00:25:32,085 temporary tattoos, whatever. Mm-Hmm. . Mm-Hmm. . Um, 432 00:25:32,475 --> 00:25:34,005 then to me it would be like, okay, 433 00:25:34,715 --> 00:25:38,205 what is a symbol that is not somebody's name, 434 00:25:38,635 --> 00:25:41,405 that is not somebody's initials? Um, 435 00:25:42,795 --> 00:25:44,885 that even if the, 436 00:25:45,385 --> 00:25:47,885 or when the relationship ends in the future, 437 00:25:48,105 --> 00:25:52,245 you look back on it and it's a memory. Now some people, like, you know, 438 00:25:52,245 --> 00:25:54,565 some people get tattoos for that Mm-Hmm. . And then Yeah. 439 00:25:54,685 --> 00:25:57,805 They regret them later or, and some people don't regret them. Yeah. They go, 440 00:25:58,195 --> 00:26:03,045 this is a sign, a symbol of whatever, of a point in my life. And, 441 00:26:03,465 --> 00:26:06,045 you know, it is what it is. And some people go, 442 00:26:06,365 --> 00:26:08,765 I would rather not be reminded of this point in my life. Let me remove it, 443 00:26:08,765 --> 00:26:09,845 cover it up, whatever, whatever. 444 00:26:10,115 --> 00:26:14,645 Well, I mean, there there is two, I, you know, there are people who identify as 445 00:26:16,225 --> 00:26:19,885 slaves. Mm-Hmm. . And there apparently is a, 446 00:26:20,305 --> 00:26:24,045 at least there used to be a place you can go online and register 447 00:26:25,145 --> 00:26:26,685 Yes. And, and get. 448 00:26:26,685 --> 00:26:27,515 Like a barcode. 449 00:26:27,515 --> 00:26:30,165 Like a, like a barcode or a slave number. Yeah. You know, 450 00:26:30,165 --> 00:26:33,605 and you can have something like that tattooed. Yeah. Alright. 451 00:26:34,495 --> 00:26:36,245 Personally, that always makes me go. 452 00:26:36,915 --> 00:26:39,485 Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. I mean, it's not for everybody. 453 00:26:39,575 --> 00:26:41,685 Right. And I think that's the thing. 454 00:26:41,915 --> 00:26:45,885 It's none of these decisions are for everybody. Right. I, you know, 455 00:26:45,945 --> 00:26:49,485 before you make a permanent change to your body that is either Mm-Hmm. 456 00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:53,165 impossible or extremely difficult to change later. Right. 457 00:26:53,885 --> 00:26:58,285 A lot of thought has to go into it. Um, but if somebody's like, I, 458 00:26:58,445 --> 00:27:01,725 I really love the idea of permanent marks. I really like the idea of branding. 459 00:27:01,765 --> 00:27:04,805 I really like the whatever. Then I'm just like, okay, 460 00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:08,565 pick something that symbolizes not, you know what I mean? Like. 461 00:27:08,795 --> 00:27:09,628 Yeah. 462 00:27:09,915 --> 00:27:13,485 Like, and I don't know, I don't know what that might be for somebody. I just, 463 00:27:14,755 --> 00:27:18,965 yeah. Somebody's initials and, and I don't want to, 464 00:27:20,735 --> 00:27:25,525 can't think of the word because words are now coming harder. I want, 465 00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:30,565 I respect the fact that 2 23 year olds in a relationship feel what they 466 00:27:30,565 --> 00:27:31,165 feel. Mm-Hmm. . 467 00:27:31,165 --> 00:27:35,045 And for some people that can be a super long lasting relationship, 468 00:27:35,985 --> 00:27:39,005 but the law of averages being what they are. Yeah. 469 00:27:39,105 --> 00:27:42,285 And it being 20 years since I was 23 mm-Hmm. , 470 00:27:42,665 --> 00:27:44,525 the old lady in me is like, 471 00:27:45,985 --> 00:27:49,565 you probably won't be with that person for maybe even another six months to a 472 00:27:49,565 --> 00:27:50,398 year. Yeah. 473 00:27:50,755 --> 00:27:51,345 Yeah. 474 00:27:51,345 --> 00:27:56,125 Is that a daily reminder that you're gonna want 10 or 15 years? That's true. 475 00:27:56,385 --> 00:27:59,805 That's very true's. That's the conversation and the questions I would be asking. 476 00:28:00,035 --> 00:28:00,868 Yeah. 477 00:28:01,225 --> 00:28:06,045 And I think, yeah. You know, yeah. 478 00:28:06,305 --> 00:28:08,685 You could do what you want with your body. Mm-Hmm. You really, really. 479 00:28:08,685 --> 00:28:09,925 Can. But who think. 480 00:28:09,925 --> 00:28:10,085 It. 481 00:28:10,085 --> 00:28:11,325 Through. Mm-Hmm. think it through. 482 00:28:11,535 --> 00:28:13,205 Think it through. But I, you know, 483 00:28:13,245 --> 00:28:16,485 I also give a little bit of side eye when we tell people you're gonna regret it 484 00:28:16,485 --> 00:28:18,245 later. They might. They might. Yeah. 485 00:28:18,505 --> 00:28:20,365 But every single one of us lives with regrets, 486 00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:24,205 and hopefully we learn with some from some of them. And so I, i, 487 00:28:24,385 --> 00:28:27,525 it gets touchy for me, you know, but if you asked me like, 488 00:28:27,545 --> 00:28:31,765 as your mom or your older sister, I'm gonna tell you don't not, 489 00:28:32,105 --> 00:28:35,045 not the dude's initials. Yeah. Okay. Just not the. 490 00:28:35,045 --> 00:28:36,245 Initials. Yeah. No, no. 491 00:28:38,635 --> 00:28:42,805 Yeah. Okay. Last one I told y'all this was short. Okay. 492 00:28:43,035 --> 00:28:46,325 He's glassy-eyed over there, . And I'm already running outta words, 493 00:28:46,505 --> 00:28:49,565 so shit. Okay. Uh, again, 494 00:28:49,565 --> 00:28:52,405 this is one we all kind of know the answer , 495 00:28:53,225 --> 00:28:55,725 but it went with a theme that I accidentally found. 496 00:28:56,945 --> 00:29:00,125 Dom assigned me a trainer. Ooh. Hi y'all. 497 00:29:00,145 --> 00:29:02,125 So I've met a dom and he seems really great. 498 00:29:02,545 --> 00:29:05,485 We get along well and we are exploring starting a dynamic together. 499 00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:08,805 He is away working now, but asked me if I would be okay with a trainer. 500 00:29:09,145 --> 00:29:13,405 So when he gets back, I'm fully ready. I did ask why he couldn't train me, 501 00:29:13,405 --> 00:29:15,445 and he just explained it as he is not a trainer, 502 00:29:15,505 --> 00:29:19,525 but wants a relationship with me. The trainers are not in relationships. 503 00:29:20,025 --> 00:29:23,925 Is this normal? I said, yes. And so far it's going okay. 504 00:29:24,105 --> 00:29:25,685 He is more strict than my dumb, 505 00:29:25,865 --> 00:29:30,085 but is giving me tasks to learn more about being a sub. I'm fairly new. 506 00:29:30,525 --> 00:29:32,285 I was just looking to get some opinions. 507 00:29:36,795 --> 00:29:37,628 What 508 00:29:42,425 --> 00:29:46,605 You have podcast listeners, if you can see the look on Jamie's face. , 509 00:29:48,465 --> 00:29:50,725 are you having a Oh, sweet summer child kind of moment. 510 00:29:51,085 --> 00:29:55,685 . Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Um, oh. 511 00:29:55,795 --> 00:29:57,485 Okay. You talk, let me see what a child. 512 00:29:57,485 --> 00:29:59,205 Needs. Okay. Um, and. 513 00:29:59,205 --> 00:30:00,038 Then put my phone on. 514 00:30:00,205 --> 00:30:01,245 Airplane. You know, we, 515 00:30:01,335 --> 00:30:05,645 we've had this kind of conversation a little bit in the past, you know, 516 00:30:06,415 --> 00:30:11,245 there used to be this thing especially, um, it was real big on, 517 00:30:11,545 --> 00:30:15,405 on, um, Tumblr back in the day. And, 518 00:30:15,465 --> 00:30:19,245 and you used to talk about how, you know, I will train your slave. 519 00:30:19,365 --> 00:30:24,285 I will train your sub. Um, you know, 520 00:30:24,385 --> 00:30:27,925 it, it, it sounds great in theory. Um, 521 00:30:28,705 --> 00:30:32,605 but you know what it, it'd kind of like be I 522 00:30:34,795 --> 00:30:38,045 kind of be like, you know, when we got together, if I said, you know, I'm, 523 00:30:38,065 --> 00:30:41,925 I'm gonna have somebody train you. Okay. One, um, 524 00:30:42,345 --> 00:30:44,245 to me that's a lazy dom. Oh. 525 00:30:44,305 --> 00:30:46,845 God. Yeah. Like, I don't wanna teach you anything I want. Right. 526 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:50,165 I don't wanna like watch you grow or be part of this growth for you. Yeah. Or, 527 00:30:50,185 --> 00:30:50,485 you know, 528 00:30:50,485 --> 00:30:53,245 have to deal with any uncomfortable feelings while you're learning something 529 00:30:53,305 --> 00:30:58,125 new. Mm-Hmm. , I, I'll outsource submissive training Yeah. 530 00:30:58,385 --> 00:30:59,218 To somebody else. 531 00:31:00,785 --> 00:31:05,285 You know? Yeah. That's, that's, that's a lazy, lazy dom. 532 00:31:05,785 --> 00:31:08,525 Um, the other thing is, you know, 533 00:31:09,105 --> 00:31:10,965 why would I want somebody to train you? 534 00:31:11,125 --> 00:31:15,125 I want you trained the way I want you to be for what I want, 535 00:31:15,945 --> 00:31:17,845 not for how they think it should be. 536 00:31:18,335 --> 00:31:19,285 Right. Right. 537 00:31:19,595 --> 00:31:24,165 Okay. You know, , um, whew. 538 00:31:25,385 --> 00:31:28,285 Um, yeah. No, no. 539 00:31:28,505 --> 00:31:30,525 No. Now I read, um, 540 00:31:30,745 --> 00:31:34,685 one of the comments on this post from somebody who at least on maybe outside of 541 00:31:34,685 --> 00:31:37,805 Reddit, but certainly on Reddit, is well known, at least in that form, um, 542 00:31:38,185 --> 00:31:40,085 sir Dax, which the name sounded familiar. 543 00:31:40,225 --> 00:31:44,885 So I wonder if this person is like known outside of the Reddit space. 544 00:31:44,905 --> 00:31:47,525 Mm-Hmm. . And, 'cause I was like, I, I feel like I know that name. 545 00:31:47,825 --> 00:31:51,125 And they said that this is actually a common scam. 546 00:31:52,225 --> 00:31:56,685 So the dom goes, oh, I can't train you. I've got work. I've got things going up. 547 00:31:56,685 --> 00:31:58,405 Mm-Hmm. , blah, blah, blah. I say, 548 00:31:58,405 --> 00:32:02,765 I'm gonna set you up with a trainer. And then the trainer is actually them, 549 00:32:03,665 --> 00:32:05,765 but they're asking for pictures and they're asking for this, 550 00:32:05,765 --> 00:32:09,485 and they're doing these things. And then when the trainer, 551 00:32:10,265 --> 00:32:12,205 who is the original dom, right? Mm-Hmm. 552 00:32:12,245 --> 00:32:14,405 has whatever it is they wanted from this person, 553 00:32:14,595 --> 00:32:18,645 that person's just ghosted. Like, just everybody disappears. Oh, wow. 554 00:32:18,705 --> 00:32:21,205 And sub is left. And I was like, I have never heard. 555 00:32:21,205 --> 00:32:23,085 Of that. No, no. But. 556 00:32:23,505 --> 00:32:27,245 Before I read that comment, the reason I went, ah, is because yeah. I, 557 00:32:27,475 --> 00:32:28,365 it's sort of a, 558 00:32:29,525 --> 00:32:33,765 a reminder for those who might need it somehow that 559 00:32:34,525 --> 00:32:39,045 I, I know there are typically doms, 560 00:32:39,105 --> 00:32:42,005 but sometimes I've, I've come across subs who say this. They're like, 561 00:32:42,205 --> 00:32:44,805 I can train you, I can offer training, I can teach you tasks. 562 00:32:44,985 --> 00:32:49,805 Now if you are teaching skills, like there are some service things, um, 563 00:32:49,995 --> 00:32:52,245 boot blacking, right? Mm-Hmm. , that's a skill. Yeah. 564 00:32:52,245 --> 00:32:54,365 You got to learn from somebody who knows what the hell they're talking about. 565 00:32:54,365 --> 00:32:55,285 Right? Right. Um, 566 00:32:55,915 --> 00:32:59,605 just like tops have to learn skills of how to use a flo or how to use a whip. 567 00:32:59,605 --> 00:33:01,765 Mm-Hmm. how to like, right. Yeah. That's one thing. 568 00:33:01,765 --> 00:33:05,965 And I don't have a problem with that because a dom might want to experience 569 00:33:05,965 --> 00:33:09,525 something with their sub, but not have the skills to teach it. 570 00:33:09,625 --> 00:33:11,165 But that's not what we're talking about here. No. 571 00:33:11,165 --> 00:33:11,365 No, no. 572 00:33:11,365 --> 00:33:15,765 No, no. And the, the folks I see online who talk about training subs, 573 00:33:16,505 --> 00:33:20,605 um, , especially when they just offer it unprompted. 574 00:33:20,755 --> 00:33:23,605 Like they slide into your dms to tell you how they've trained all these subs. 575 00:33:23,605 --> 00:33:26,445 They've not trained any subs. Like they just have . Okay. 576 00:33:26,635 --> 00:33:29,845 What they've done is mind fucked some people who don't know what's going on. 577 00:33:29,845 --> 00:33:30,205 Mm-Hmm. 578 00:33:30,205 --> 00:33:33,405 gotten their jollies off by whatever they can get these people to 579 00:33:33,405 --> 00:33:37,405 do for them. But it's not actually not training, because like you said, 580 00:33:37,665 --> 00:33:42,525 the training between dom and sub is what the dom likes, wants per needs. 581 00:33:42,525 --> 00:33:43,445 It's a per, it's a personal. 582 00:33:43,445 --> 00:33:47,245 Thing and showing and helping the sub learn how to, you know? Right. 583 00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:49,765 Give them what they need. Yeah. While also, let's be real, 584 00:33:50,025 --> 00:33:53,365 the dom fucking learning a few things about what the submissive needs. Well, 585 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:58,245 yeah. Doms, are we in the power exchange way? Doms aren't trained, 586 00:33:58,305 --> 00:34:01,285 but let's, let's be real. We're training one another. 587 00:34:01,955 --> 00:34:06,325 It's more explicit when a dom trains a submissive here, 588 00:34:06,325 --> 00:34:09,245 these are the things I want you to do for me. Here's how you need to do them. 589 00:34:09,425 --> 00:34:12,885 You do that with coffee. Like literally my coffee, uh, 590 00:34:12,885 --> 00:34:15,925 addiction and obsession did not start until not, 591 00:34:16,145 --> 00:34:19,765 not only met John Brownstone, but fucking moved in with it. Okay. . 592 00:34:19,965 --> 00:34:23,605 'cause he taught me how to fucking make coffee. He was like, I, 593 00:34:23,635 --> 00:34:26,805 this is a thing you've agreed to do. You're gonna, you're basically, 594 00:34:26,905 --> 00:34:30,165 I'm the coffees that must up, but I gotta teach you how to fucking make it. 595 00:34:30,475 --> 00:34:31,925 Yeah. That was training. 596 00:34:32,265 --> 00:34:36,485 But every time we've had to have a hard conversation about something that has 597 00:34:36,685 --> 00:34:37,185 affected me, 598 00:34:37,185 --> 00:34:41,165 or I'm upset about something and you've learned how to interact with me in a 599 00:34:41,165 --> 00:34:45,605 different way, and you've chosen to go, I will change how I interact, blah, 600 00:34:45,605 --> 00:34:47,765 blah, blah, because this is what my baby girl needs. 601 00:34:48,865 --> 00:34:51,845 People get uncomfortable with this, but that's a form of fucking training. 602 00:34:52,465 --> 00:34:55,085 You learned something. Yeah. And I taught it to you. True. 603 00:34:55,185 --> 00:34:59,205 So we are training air quote that all over the fucking place each other. 604 00:34:59,665 --> 00:35:04,085 So when you outsource that to whether this is the scam or this person really 605 00:35:04,085 --> 00:35:07,645 believes that they have just handed their submissive off to a trainer. Yeah. 606 00:35:07,705 --> 00:35:11,325 You're, you're training them how to respond to the person who's training. Right. 607 00:35:11,325 --> 00:35:14,165 That's all they're learning. They're not learning how to respond to you. Mm-Hmm. 608 00:35:14,205 --> 00:35:16,925 they're learning how to respond to that person. Yeah. 609 00:35:17,305 --> 00:35:20,965 And unless it is very specific skills that you do not possess, 610 00:35:20,985 --> 00:35:23,125 but want to benefit from. And quite frankly, 611 00:35:23,285 --> 00:35:26,205 I would say if you are a dom who wants your sub to do something and you don't 612 00:35:26,205 --> 00:35:27,965 know how to do it, you need to fucking learn how to do it too. 613 00:35:28,165 --> 00:35:33,125 I just, I'm just gonna say, you know, I, I, there was a time I didn't know 614 00:35:34,735 --> 00:35:36,725 which end of a flagger, you know, you 615 00:35:38,785 --> 00:35:43,005 and I went and took workshops, learned how to hold a vlogger, learned how to, 616 00:35:43,005 --> 00:35:47,645 you know, do this. Mm-Hmm. learned how to do that. Excuse me. 617 00:35:48,325 --> 00:35:49,158 . 618 00:35:49,265 --> 00:35:52,605 You know, that's why I say, you know, you hand that off some that that's lazy. 619 00:35:52,875 --> 00:35:56,245 Yeah. That's lazy. You, you gotta put in your work, put in your time. 620 00:35:56,765 --> 00:35:59,085 I mean, there's that. Yeah. And then there's also the, 621 00:35:59,225 --> 00:36:04,165 the way that you grow closer to one another is in the learning process of 622 00:36:04,165 --> 00:36:04,925 each other. Mm-Hmm. 623 00:36:04,925 --> 00:36:07,765 the learning how to be in a power exchange with each other. Right. 624 00:36:07,765 --> 00:36:12,325 The learning how to do the things that the other partner wants, needs, whatever, 625 00:36:12,525 --> 00:36:16,245 whatever. Like that's, that's kind of how you get the, 626 00:36:16,545 --> 00:36:19,965 you either figure out that it's not gonna work or you learn to trust one 627 00:36:19,965 --> 00:36:22,885 another. Right. And you create intimacy between one another. Mm-Hmm. 628 00:36:22,925 --> 00:36:24,885 . And you're vulnerable with each other. Right. Yeah. 629 00:36:24,885 --> 00:36:28,805 Outsourcing it if it's even legit. Like I said, 630 00:36:29,085 --> 00:36:31,045 I saw that comment about it was being a common scam. 631 00:36:31,345 --> 00:36:32,605 And I was like, what was the name again. 632 00:36:32,945 --> 00:36:33,778 Sir? Dax. 633 00:36:34,545 --> 00:36:35,378 Dax. 634 00:36:35,425 --> 00:36:37,645 And I really felt like that name, but I don't know if it's. 635 00:36:37,665 --> 00:36:42,125 It, it does ring a bell. It makes, um, makes me wonder if it was the, um, 636 00:36:42,465 --> 00:36:44,965 the fellow we met a number of years ago who did the whips. 637 00:36:45,455 --> 00:36:46,405 Maybe, I don't know. 638 00:36:47,185 --> 00:36:50,285 But they were the ones who commented and then other people went, oh my gosh, 639 00:36:50,355 --> 00:36:52,925 it's such a pleasure to see you here. Like, they were like, oh. 640 00:36:52,955 --> 00:36:53,788 Yeah, okay. I was like. 641 00:36:55,385 --> 00:36:56,218 But yeah. 642 00:36:57,305 --> 00:37:02,285 And I've come across a couple of people who say, with all sincerity, with all, 643 00:37:02,285 --> 00:37:05,805 well-meaning that they, that they train submissives and slaves. Yeah. 644 00:37:05,805 --> 00:37:09,525 And I just am like, for fucking what. 645 00:37:10,205 --> 00:37:10,325 I. 646 00:37:10,325 --> 00:37:13,245 Know now, I could see where somebody mentored couples. 647 00:37:14,115 --> 00:37:18,205 Even then I'd be like, is that necessary? Not in my opinion. Yeah. 648 00:37:18,205 --> 00:37:21,045 But I could see that if you're helping people, well, you know, 649 00:37:21,045 --> 00:37:25,645 learn how to communicate and have that, like, you get to that point. I mean. 650 00:37:25,655 --> 00:37:29,605 Maybe somebody, somebody made made a very valid point. And, 651 00:37:29,785 --> 00:37:33,525 and it made me think of something too because, you know, take like, um, 652 00:37:34,385 --> 00:37:37,285 for instance, a, a guide dog or a seeing eye dog. Mm-Hmm. . 653 00:37:37,285 --> 00:37:41,405 Alright. They don't just hand you these animals and say, you know, oh, 654 00:37:41,405 --> 00:37:43,365 they're trained. You just take here, here's your dog. Right. Go, 655 00:37:43,425 --> 00:37:46,045 go about your day. No, you have to work and, 656 00:37:46,465 --> 00:37:50,125 and bond with these animals before they, you know. Mm-Hmm. . 657 00:37:50,185 --> 00:37:52,605 So it's, it's not even in that. So. 658 00:37:53,105 --> 00:37:55,405 No, there's no, somebody else does the training and. 659 00:37:55,405 --> 00:37:57,045 Then there's no magic bullet that somebody. 660 00:37:57,045 --> 00:37:58,525 Your exclusive shows up and does everything. Right. 661 00:37:58,785 --> 00:38:00,405 And Yeah. No, no, no. 662 00:38:00,405 --> 00:38:03,605 No, no, no, no, no. It was never gonna be that way. It's never been that way. 663 00:38:04,255 --> 00:38:07,685 Right. The only training that I'm not gonna give total side eye to is when we're 664 00:38:07,685 --> 00:38:11,085 talking very specific skills. Yeah. But even then, 665 00:38:11,285 --> 00:38:14,045 I think that dominant needs to be in that fucking class too. Yeah. 666 00:38:14,245 --> 00:38:15,485 'cause there's also the okay, 667 00:38:15,485 --> 00:38:17,565 there's learning the skill and then as the dominant, 668 00:38:17,565 --> 00:38:19,605 there's learning the skill enough to know, wait, 669 00:38:19,955 --> 00:38:21,485 this isn't up to my standard or this, 670 00:38:21,805 --> 00:38:24,565 I have a standard and I want you to learn it to that standard. Mm-Hmm. 671 00:38:24,605 --> 00:38:27,805 or Wait, you have a question about this. How can I help? You know? 672 00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:31,205 Right. Well, like all kinds of stuff. So, Mm-Hmm. Yes. 673 00:38:31,635 --> 00:38:35,365 Anybody can be trained on a specific skill, but I, 674 00:38:35,625 --> 00:38:39,205 the dom still shouldn't completely remove themselves from the learning of that 675 00:38:39,205 --> 00:38:42,885 skill. If they don't already possess a knowledge of that skill. 676 00:38:42,885 --> 00:38:45,965 They need to be sitting in fucking class too and learning it with, with their, 677 00:38:46,355 --> 00:38:49,765 because how do you oversee something if you literally don't understand what's 678 00:38:49,765 --> 00:38:52,885 happening? Right. Right. That doesn't make any sense to me either. Yep. 679 00:38:56,385 --> 00:39:00,805 Oh my gosh. Anything else you would add to that? No, 680 00:39:01,245 --> 00:39:02,285 I feel like I've run a race. 681 00:39:03,285 --> 00:39:04,118 I think you have. 682 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:07,645 And my neck is really hurting today. . Uhoh. It's not good. 683 00:39:08,205 --> 00:39:12,885 I slept really funny though. Um, so we're only doing those three mm-Hmm. 684 00:39:12,925 --> 00:39:16,885 . I did not think I would rant my way through them, uh, 685 00:39:17,065 --> 00:39:19,685 as the live chat pointed out. This was a perfect episode. 686 00:39:19,925 --> 00:39:23,325 'cause you for the most part, could just sit back and let me go. Right, right. 687 00:39:23,385 --> 00:39:27,205 And I, you know, I kind of thought that Mm-Hmm. . But yeah. Um, 688 00:39:28,755 --> 00:39:31,525 yeah. I think that's it. Okay. 689 00:39:31,665 --> 00:39:34,445 We can do a bonus section for kind of, 690 00:39:34,445 --> 00:39:36,445 as long as you feel like you can sort of hold out. 691 00:39:36,725 --> 00:39:37,558 . Alright. 692 00:39:37,685 --> 00:39:37,925 I, 693 00:39:37,925 --> 00:39:41,365 I kind of feel like what you want to go do is lay back down on the couch before 694 00:39:41,395 --> 00:39:44,205 it's time to go pick up a kid. Probably. Yeah. Um, 695 00:39:44,545 --> 00:39:47,925 is it safe to say that there might not Definitely. 696 00:39:47,945 --> 00:39:51,405 But there might not be a Monday episode and it's okay to say there might not be 697 00:39:51,485 --> 00:39:51,685 a Monday. 698 00:39:51,685 --> 00:39:53,205 Episode. Possibly not. Yeah. 699 00:39:53,485 --> 00:39:58,285 ? I didn't think so. I didn't think so. So, uh, 700 00:39:58,305 --> 00:40:02,725 if there's nothing that shows up, uh, in your feed on Monday, it's, 701 00:40:03,395 --> 00:40:06,765 it's planned. It's, it's known. Don't be surprised. Yeah. 702 00:40:06,865 --> 00:40:07,698 Am. 703 00:40:08,425 --> 00:40:12,645 Excuse me, I need to cough and I've been doing that a lot lately. Yeah. 704 00:40:13,955 --> 00:40:14,788 Okay. Alright. 705 00:40:15,315 --> 00:40:16,445 Okay. So. 706 00:40:16,705 --> 00:40:17,538 So are we good? 707 00:40:18,435 --> 00:40:21,485 Sure. Sure. , we'll call it that. Okay. 708 00:40:22,155 --> 00:40:22,955 Keep. 709 00:40:22,955 --> 00:40:24,965 Keep it kinky all and we'll see you next week. 710 00:40:35,215 --> 00:40:39,845 Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. Daddy, daddy. . 711 00:40:42,715 --> 00:40:45,405 What? I'm just reading your shirt. . 712 00:40:47,905 --> 00:40:49,125 Can I talk to the crickets please? 713 00:40:49,385 --> 00:40:50,218 Yes, go ahead. 714 00:40:50,595 --> 00:40:52,485 Okay. Do I have anything to say, ? 715 00:40:52,805 --> 00:40:53,638 Probably not. 716 00:40:53,645 --> 00:40:57,085 Probably not. I mean, my mind, it's weird. 717 00:40:57,235 --> 00:41:02,085 It's not truly racing a mile a minute. Either that or it's going so fast. 718 00:41:02,345 --> 00:41:06,565 It doesn't sound like noise anymore. You know, when something speeds up so much, 719 00:41:06,565 --> 00:41:10,325 like you literally can't even hear it anymore. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's one of, 720 00:41:10,325 --> 00:41:15,125 it's one of those , I dunno. Um, yeah. 721 00:41:17,075 --> 00:41:21,805 Krys having a sale. We're adding products to our Etsy shop. Lola, 722 00:41:21,805 --> 00:41:23,685 is she still napping right next to you? Yep. 723 00:41:24,065 --> 00:41:27,365 Lola's being a good girl and napping and not taking down our whole light system 724 00:41:27,365 --> 00:41:31,765 here. . Um, the cats are good. Uh, 725 00:41:31,825 --> 00:41:36,165 the kids are Oh, oh yeah, that's right. The kids are good. 726 00:41:36,865 --> 00:41:40,485 The 18 year old not only has his motorcycle, what's it called, 727 00:41:40,485 --> 00:41:42,125 endorsement for his license Right. 728 00:41:42,345 --> 00:41:47,165 Is now proud owner of a motorcycle and his motorcycle 729 00:41:47,165 --> 00:41:49,165 insurance, which is not required in the state of Florida. 730 00:41:49,185 --> 00:41:53,205 But we have learned our lesson by literal fucking cars hitting people, uh, 731 00:41:53,545 --> 00:41:58,365 is four times as much as it was when I purchased my 732 00:41:58,535 --> 00:42:01,285 motorcycle insurance for you. Yeah. And also, 733 00:42:01,715 --> 00:42:04,285 instead of waking up every day and going, oh gosh, my, 734 00:42:04,305 --> 00:42:09,005 my baby boy is off at a college campus. I hope everything is okay. I'm now like, 735 00:42:09,385 --> 00:42:10,218 oh my God, 736 00:42:10,315 --> 00:42:14,485 he's riding on two wheels as a a baby bike rider. 737 00:42:15,685 --> 00:42:18,325 I hope he makes it to campus and home alive. 738 00:42:19,075 --> 00:42:20,925 This is my new daily anxiety. 739 00:42:22,025 --> 00:42:24,725 You're welcome. It's all my fault. 740 00:42:25,345 --> 00:42:27,125 You know what could, 741 00:42:27,415 --> 00:42:30,365 would it have slowed him down if you had not been willing to help him and give 742 00:42:30,365 --> 00:42:32,085 him good advice? It would've slowed him down. 743 00:42:32,465 --> 00:42:36,645 But that child lives on people telling him he can't do shit. I know. 744 00:42:36,905 --> 00:42:40,205 So if we had said, 'cause somebody's gonna go, why didn't you just tell him? Mm. 745 00:42:40,205 --> 00:42:44,365 Because we know him. Had we told him you can't, he would have done it. 746 00:42:44,865 --> 00:42:45,965 Dumber. Mm-Hmm. 747 00:42:46,005 --> 00:42:51,005 more expensive and more reckless and tried to probably do 748 00:42:51,005 --> 00:42:54,965 it faster and then just wouldn't have fucking told us until it was too late. 749 00:42:54,985 --> 00:42:57,485 And then he would've done that little Cheshire cat grin of, look, 750 00:42:57,525 --> 00:43:00,205 I did the thing petty 'cause you wouldn't help me. Oh god. 751 00:43:00,295 --> 00:43:01,035 Right. 752 00:43:01,035 --> 00:43:04,125 This way. He talks to us about it. 753 00:43:05,075 --> 00:43:09,085 He's probably talked to you more in the past two weeks than Yeah. 754 00:43:09,085 --> 00:43:09,725 He has. 755 00:43:09,725 --> 00:43:13,405 . I mean, all the times he's talked to you in a year. 756 00:43:13,555 --> 00:43:16,285 Like it's a lot. Y'all have bonded. 757 00:43:16,665 --> 00:43:19,845 You've helped him make good strategic decisions. Mm-Hmm. . 758 00:43:20,025 --> 00:43:22,245 He knows he can come to you and he needs help. 759 00:43:24,385 --> 00:43:27,845 But an 18 year old is riding a motorcycle. 760 00:43:28,065 --> 00:43:28,665 Yep. 761 00:43:28,665 --> 00:43:29,498 To school every. 762 00:43:29,505 --> 00:43:33,645 Day. Yep. It it's, it's a little itty bitty baby motorcycle. 763 00:43:34,715 --> 00:43:35,235 Yeah. 764 00:43:35,235 --> 00:43:37,685 It's not a, um, 765 00:43:40,415 --> 00:43:42,885 speed demon, no type of motorcycle. Yeah. 766 00:43:42,985 --> 00:43:46,725 No, I'm, I'm, I'm sure he is fine. 767 00:43:47,155 --> 00:43:49,285 It's everybody else on the road I don't trust. 768 00:43:49,445 --> 00:43:54,165 I know, I know, I know. . And it's a bright neon green. 769 00:43:54,505 --> 00:43:55,725 It is. It is. 770 00:43:58,865 --> 00:44:00,485 And he is wearing a white helmet. 771 00:44:01,285 --> 00:44:03,765 I would like to get him something reflective that he can like, 772 00:44:03,765 --> 00:44:06,245 put on his backpack. Mm-Hmm. or something. Uh, 773 00:44:06,245 --> 00:44:09,645 mostly I'd like to light him up like the fourth of fucking July. 774 00:44:10,105 --> 00:44:14,085 So the completely oblivious drivers who barely see three inches in front of 775 00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:15,325 their fucking face, let alone. 776 00:44:15,325 --> 00:44:15,845 Like, like a. 777 00:44:15,845 --> 00:44:17,125 Christmas tree left to right. Whatever. 778 00:44:17,545 --> 00:44:20,445 You can light up like the 4th of July too. It's a country song. 779 00:44:21,005 --> 00:44:21,838 . 780 00:44:23,505 --> 00:44:26,605 Anyway, I just, 781 00:44:28,585 --> 00:44:30,525 and the thing I keep saying, you know, 'cause you're, 782 00:44:30,705 --> 00:44:35,045 you come across as kind of nonchalant, like really fucking relaxed. 783 00:44:35,105 --> 00:44:35,935 And I'm like, wait, 784 00:44:35,935 --> 00:44:39,645 child had his driver's license and was in an automobile with like, 785 00:44:40,285 --> 00:44:42,885 surrounded by, you know, plastic and metal, uh, 786 00:44:42,905 --> 00:44:47,845 and was in an accident within three months that had used car prices and 787 00:44:47,845 --> 00:44:52,245 values not skyrocketed. Would have totaled our little Corolla. Yeah. Okay. 788 00:44:52,745 --> 00:44:53,065 He, 789 00:44:53,065 --> 00:44:56,845 and he ended up being fine even though the front of the Corolla was not this, 790 00:44:57,385 --> 00:45:01,565 he doesn't have the walls of plastic and metal . Okay. 791 00:45:03,745 --> 00:45:08,645 And you who take every precaution had a decade plus 792 00:45:08,645 --> 00:45:11,765 experience on the bike still got hit. So like, 793 00:45:11,765 --> 00:45:15,165 you can do everything right and still get fucking hit. 794 00:45:21,945 --> 00:45:24,965 But it's fine. I don't, I don't know why I don't sleep well anymore. It's fine. 795 00:45:26,515 --> 00:45:26,845 It's. 796 00:45:26,845 --> 00:45:28,405 Fine now. But again, 797 00:45:28,685 --> 00:45:32,325 I know my kids so I can't bombard him with texts and calls going, are you okay? 798 00:45:32,325 --> 00:45:33,158 Are you okay? Like, 799 00:45:33,165 --> 00:45:36,605 I have to be really fucking nonchalant about it and I hate it. 800 00:45:37,545 --> 00:45:40,045 But I would like to maintain a relationship with my, 801 00:45:40,045 --> 00:45:44,885 now technically an adult child, you parent the kid, 802 00:45:44,885 --> 00:45:47,645 you've got, you've, you parent the kid, you've got, you parent the kid, 803 00:45:47,645 --> 00:45:51,765 you've got , I mean, 804 00:45:52,335 --> 00:45:55,565 crazy me. I raised them, you know, 805 00:45:55,845 --> 00:45:59,925 thinking I would let them be the people they actually are and not force them to 806 00:45:59,925 --> 00:46:03,845 be the people I want them to be. You know, we're breaking generational, uh, 807 00:46:04,215 --> 00:46:08,645 curse here on trauma. Um, but God, it's hard . 808 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:10,085 Because. 809 00:46:10,085 --> 00:46:12,445 I assure you at age 18, 810 00:46:12,825 --> 00:46:16,005 if I had said to either of my parents that I was gonna go get my motorcycle 811 00:46:16,005 --> 00:46:20,525 endorsement and buy a motorcycle, uh, could you help me get insurance? Blah, 812 00:46:20,525 --> 00:46:22,845 blah, blah. I'm gonna just do it. I mean, 813 00:46:22,845 --> 00:46:25,845 they probably would've snatched me up from fucking college. Like, . 814 00:46:33,115 --> 00:46:33,905 It's fine. 815 00:46:33,905 --> 00:46:37,805 That's fine. I didn't, I mean, look, I, I didn't, 816 00:46:37,885 --> 00:46:42,245 couldn't fully I think understand until the kids got older about once you have 817 00:46:42,245 --> 00:46:45,805 kids, it's like your heart is now outside of your body. . And I like, 818 00:46:45,965 --> 00:46:49,845 I I kind of understood the sentiment when they were little. I was like, oh yeah, 819 00:46:50,085 --> 00:46:52,005 I, you know, would kill and die for them. Oh. 820 00:46:52,105 --> 00:46:56,125 But like then you let them like go out into the world on their fucking own. 821 00:46:56,905 --> 00:46:57,965 And do things and. 822 00:46:58,025 --> 00:47:02,805 Do things. And you have to admit hopefully that you actually have no control. 823 00:47:03,105 --> 00:47:07,325 You can pretend you have control, you can try to grip control and, you know, 824 00:47:07,465 --> 00:47:11,685 and that'll go well. But that's, that's when I, when I feel that statement, 825 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:15,325 my heart is at University of fucking Florida riding around on two damn wheels 826 00:47:15,325 --> 00:47:18,325 right now, . And I don't, I don't. 827 00:47:18,325 --> 00:47:20,925 Like it. So 828 00:47:22,795 --> 00:47:26,925 It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. . 829 00:47:27,555 --> 00:47:29,085 It's fine. It's. 830 00:47:29,165 --> 00:47:33,725 Fine. He's happy. Mm-Hmm. . He hasn't been caught in the rain yet. 831 00:47:33,745 --> 00:47:34,685 So . That's good. 832 00:47:34,955 --> 00:47:38,525 That is true. It's fine. That is true. It's fine. 833 00:47:38,835 --> 00:47:43,805 It's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. What else is going on? Uh, 834 00:47:43,805 --> 00:47:47,045 our wedding anniversary is this Saturday. Mm-Hmm. , uh, 835 00:47:47,065 --> 00:47:50,125 we are supposed to have a big night planned. Yeah. . 836 00:47:50,535 --> 00:47:55,325 Which is why you're like just chugging NyQuil and DayQuil I think. 837 00:47:55,345 --> 00:47:57,005 And you're like, sure, I need to sleep. I will sleep. 838 00:47:57,645 --> 00:48:00,725 'cause I don't wanna have to feel this way on Saturday. Exactly. Yeah, I know. 839 00:48:00,795 --> 00:48:05,725 Exactly. Uh, my birthday is next Monday. That's true. And, 840 00:48:06,265 --> 00:48:10,205 and somewhere along the line, probably by the time I hit my thirties, 841 00:48:10,345 --> 00:48:13,565 my birthday stopped kind of mattering like it does when you're much younger or 842 00:48:13,685 --> 00:48:15,005 whatever. Mm-Hmm. and so on. 843 00:48:15,005 --> 00:48:19,365 My desk are birthday cards I've received one I know is a, a gift. Like I know. 844 00:48:19,645 --> 00:48:22,725 'cause I saw where it was from and I still haven't opened it. And I'm like, 845 00:48:22,725 --> 00:48:26,685 I'll wait for my birthday, da da da. And I'm, I'm, 846 00:48:26,755 --> 00:48:30,805 this has happened for the past few years, periodically. I'm like, well, 847 00:48:30,805 --> 00:48:33,965 that's right. I have a birthday coming up. And then I go, wait, how old am I? 848 00:48:34,585 --> 00:48:36,525 That's right. Okay. I'm gonna be 44. 849 00:48:36,915 --> 00:48:40,005 Whereas not that long ago, 850 00:48:40,505 --> 00:48:45,005 the entire month of October, was my birthday mom. That's true. 851 00:48:45,065 --> 00:48:46,765 And we needed to like That's true. That's true. 852 00:48:46,905 --> 00:48:51,205 We couldn't celebrate accordingly, but we needed to be aware accordingly. 853 00:48:51,905 --> 00:48:52,738 Um, 854 00:48:52,925 --> 00:48:57,885 I don't know if I'm just too old and tired for that shit or or if I've 855 00:48:57,885 --> 00:49:02,525 matured. I, I don't know. 856 00:49:03,075 --> 00:49:07,645 Yeah. I've been, uh, I've been feeling a little under the weather. Um, 857 00:49:09,285 --> 00:49:11,405 I think it's a bit of a sinus infection. 858 00:49:11,895 --> 00:49:14,805 Which we could do telemed and then I know you could get on the phone with a 859 00:49:14,805 --> 00:49:17,325 doctor and they, they'd prescribe you like an actual antibiotic. 860 00:49:17,465 --> 00:49:19,485 And I think once we're done here, that's uh, that's. 861 00:49:19,485 --> 00:49:23,125 What you're gonna do. Yeah. Uh, with our insurance, they do that for free, 862 00:49:23,125 --> 00:49:24,805 like they did with our old insurance. Okay. 863 00:49:25,225 --> 00:49:27,765 Did our screen just do the black blip? I think it did. Yes. 864 00:49:27,765 --> 00:49:29,605 It did. Yes it did. God dammit. I know. 865 00:49:30,475 --> 00:49:31,885 Yeah. So. 866 00:49:33,345 --> 00:49:37,125 So, um, yeah. Yeah. 867 00:49:38,205 --> 00:49:42,125 I know. And, and you're doing the thing that I often do when I get sick, 868 00:49:42,215 --> 00:49:44,605 which is to the extent that you physically can, 869 00:49:44,655 --> 00:49:47,125 we're still out there working in the shop, we're still Mm-Hmm. . 870 00:49:47,185 --> 00:49:47,905 Mm-Hmm. . 871 00:49:47,905 --> 00:49:51,805 You're not working as many hours as you normally do. Right. Good. 872 00:49:52,665 --> 00:49:55,685 You know, it would be nice if I could go just lay down and do nothing, but. 873 00:49:56,115 --> 00:49:58,285 Yeah. That's not really an option. Oh. 874 00:49:58,505 --> 00:50:02,525 No. So silence as well. You can get prescriptions over the phone. 875 00:50:02,665 --> 00:50:07,125 We can do telemed through our insurance with a doctor and they'll prescribe 876 00:50:07,545 --> 00:50:08,605 for us. Yeah, yeah. 877 00:50:09,275 --> 00:50:09,625 Yeah. 878 00:50:09,625 --> 00:50:10,325 That's how, 879 00:50:10,325 --> 00:50:13,325 I think that's how we've handled all of your sinus infections for the last. 880 00:50:13,545 --> 00:50:16,325 Few years. Pretty much. Yeah. Well, it's all, 881 00:50:16,395 --> 00:50:19,125 it's nearly impossible to get in to see your doctor when you're sick. . 882 00:50:19,125 --> 00:50:19,805 Yeah. 883 00:50:19,805 --> 00:50:22,405 by the time you get in, you're like done. You're like, oh, 884 00:50:22,405 --> 00:50:27,365 well I was feeling like shit, but I'm good now. Right? Yeah. Yeah. . No. 885 00:50:27,465 --> 00:50:32,445 And go into urgent care or those minute clinics when you're sick already. 886 00:50:32,715 --> 00:50:34,485 Yeah. No, no, no. 887 00:50:34,485 --> 00:50:38,165 No, no. But 888 00:50:39,745 --> 00:50:40,578 yeah. Yeah. 889 00:50:42,055 --> 00:50:44,795 And Jeannie says it's like a zoom call, but the last couple you did, 890 00:50:44,795 --> 00:50:46,795 you just talked to them on the phone, right? Yeah. Yeah. 891 00:50:46,795 --> 00:50:49,675 Didn't even have to get on video chat or anything, so, 892 00:50:49,695 --> 00:50:52,635 but that was our old insurance. I don't know how our new insurance Right. 893 00:50:52,635 --> 00:50:53,875 Our current insurance will be current. 894 00:50:53,905 --> 00:50:54,738 Yeah. 895 00:50:55,615 --> 00:50:59,635 So Yeah. 896 00:51:01,615 --> 00:51:06,115 No, but yeah, you tend to get sinus infections. I am prone at least once a year. 897 00:51:06,355 --> 00:51:07,355 I am prone to them. Yes. 898 00:51:07,655 --> 00:51:10,435 And yeah, we just, we've learned, eh, he's gotta have an antibiotic. 899 00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:15,395 Let's just Yep. Get this done. Mm-Hmm. . So, um, 900 00:51:17,255 --> 00:51:20,675 my mouth was racing earlier. Mm-Hmm. . 901 00:51:21,415 --> 00:51:25,155 But now that I don't have a specific like topic in front of me, everything is. 902 00:51:25,225 --> 00:51:25,795 Like, it's. 903 00:51:25,795 --> 00:51:27,955 Every winding down . 904 00:51:28,895 --> 00:51:30,915 And I'm like, it's like in slow-mo, right? Yeah. 905 00:51:31,055 --> 00:51:33,635 And I'm like, I'm sure there were things I was gonna chitchat about. 906 00:51:34,835 --> 00:51:36,355 I don't know what those things are. . 907 00:51:39,495 --> 00:51:41,875 The brain is done. The brain is like, oh, oh no. 908 00:51:41,935 --> 00:51:45,835 We were spinning real fast for it's like a top that spins real fast until it 909 00:51:45,835 --> 00:51:48,355 starts to wind down and then it weeble wobbles back and forth. 910 00:51:48,375 --> 00:51:49,635 That's where I'm at right now. You're. 911 00:51:49,635 --> 00:51:51,235 At the weeble wobble stage. We. 912 00:51:51,455 --> 00:51:52,288 Wobble. 913 00:51:52,385 --> 00:51:54,595 Weevils wobble, but they don't fall down and. 914 00:51:54,595 --> 00:51:57,395 See that's how I know I'm not a weeble wobble. I definitely fall down. 915 00:51:59,165 --> 00:51:59,998 Definitely. 916 00:52:01,665 --> 00:52:05,195 Yeah. So I guess that's probably it, huh? Yeah. Um, 917 00:52:06,665 --> 00:52:10,235 yeah. Yeah. You gotta get better. We have game night with Patreon on Friday. 918 00:52:10,395 --> 00:52:14,275 I know. Yeah. Mm-Hmm. and an early dinner out on Saturday. Yeah. 919 00:52:14,575 --> 00:52:16,275 And a play party Saturday night. Yes. 920 00:52:16,275 --> 00:52:18,155 Mm-Hmm. . So yes, I do. Yeah. 921 00:52:18,395 --> 00:52:23,315 And it's funny because I agreed to go, let's go, 922 00:52:23,775 --> 00:52:27,435 but the introvert part of me is like, I mean, I don't want him to be sick. 923 00:52:27,915 --> 00:52:28,748 . 924 00:52:29,175 --> 00:52:30,195 But also . 925 00:52:30,425 --> 00:52:32,675 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 926 00:52:32,895 --> 00:52:37,395 You would be more upset if we couldn't go than I would be . 927 00:52:39,335 --> 00:52:41,355 So outta spite you're gonna get better. . 928 00:52:42,535 --> 00:52:44,155 Got that right. God dammit. 929 00:52:44,875 --> 00:52:45,708 . 930 00:52:49,025 --> 00:52:53,755 Okay. On that silly note, we're gonna go, um, just a reminder, 931 00:52:53,855 --> 00:52:58,675 if you don't see a Monday video or podcast, it's 'cause j's still sick, so. 932 00:52:59,585 --> 00:53:00,418 Okay. 933 00:53:01,345 --> 00:53:02,145 Okay. 934 00:53:02,145 --> 00:53:04,915 Okay. Okay. Go. Bye. Bye.